#this look will forever me my batsignal

[bestbuddybobby]

Forever grateful for @boasamishipper for making this! ♡

[androxys]

Androxys Reads... Batman #402 and #403

Welcome back to Androxys Reading Comics! If you’re just joining, all my reads can be found under #androxys reads comics. Today’s sampling: Batman #402 and #403, both collected in Batman: Second Chances. Let’s get right into it.

[Batman #402]

I think it’s so dramatic to put Batman’s logo in the middle of the melodramatic narration boxes, but also, it’s kinda camp. Go off king. Seek your “human target.”

I see our hapless victims are literally named Dick and Jane, because of course they are. You have to conjure up the image of youthful innocence, right before you slap them with the narration that “they’re slumming tonight – because they’re into Rock ‘n’ Roll.” In this case, I guess “slumming” means going to a rock show in a poorer part of town? This street of Gotham they’re on doesn’t look any grimier than any other?

Gratuitous 80’s violence is gratuitous… The man’s teeth are knocked out and the woman is threatened by the lecherous man, because as we all know, terrible violence only exists in poorer communities because poor people are bad. Ronald Reagan told me so.

A silhouetted Batman strikes, snapping the two muggers’ necks, because again, it’s the 80’s.

[Batman #402]

This little segment is interesting because in some ways, we sure have been using this same plot forever as a foil to Batman, huh? “Your way doesn’t fix things, so I have to Cross The Line to make it matter.” This is just the second Batman comic of New Earth, and yet here’s this theme already. I think Under the Red Hood will do it better, of course, but it’s worth calling out where this thread pops up.

[Batman #402]

Wait a minute! You’re not Bruce!

Because the murder was committed by That Guy in a Batman suit, GCDP supposes that Batman just went off the deep end and is killing now. They lure him to the rooftop by way of Batsignal, and I really like the narration here:

“Three A.M. – Late for the familiar yellow beam to pierce the sky – but the Batman doesn't think twice when summoned by his old friend. He doesn’t even think once. He just goes.”

What a sweet way to portray the depth of his relationship with Gordon: when he sees the signal, he assumes Gordon needs him, and he doesn’t hesitate. That speaks volumes, especially knowing who Bruce will become.

[Batman #402]

It is a trap, though, and his little “whoops” is hilarious to me.

Bruce notes that he didn’t see Gordon on the rooftop, but he did see Deputy Commissioner Barnes, leading him to muse that they’ve both been betrayed. Frankly, I think the fact that they shot on sight is evidence enough for that– Gordon is a special comic character, if only because he knows what Miranda Rights are.

[Batman #402]

I can’t keep highlighting every time Bruce and Jim are friends, but I will do it until they drag me away from my keyboard. They’re precious to me, your honor. The other thing in this panel is how to Bruce, crime is crime. Muggings are never “simple,” something to be trivialized. He should know.

[Both from Batman #402]

Okay… I know in my last post I hunkered down as a Jason Defender, but I have to play it evenly. There’s the panel here where Jason asks Bruce “what would be so wrong if you did [kill those muggers]?” Bruce and Jason have a conversation after that, Bruce emphasizing that “murder is the line we must not cross.” Jason counters that Bruce has killed before, which Bruce notes was in self-defense. I have to assume this is a pre-Crisis element that was folded into the New Earth continuity, in the same way that we’re accepting that Jason is Bruce’s ward already, rather than all comics starting at the beginning of the timeline. We’ll have flashback comics to flesh out that timeline (like the upcoming Year One) but this is still a bit in media res, with some Pre-Crisis stuff still being on the table until proven otherwise. See, this is the sort of confusing comics stuff that drives people nuts.

Bruce ends this conversation by saying that “if we’re no better than the lice who snuff out human life like it’s worth nothing at all, then, well – then it’s time I hung up my cowl.” Jason replies “I guess. But I’m still glad those guys are dead.'' Bruce admits that he agrees, though he’s not proud of it.

If the Batman comics right now are utilizing a blend of Pre-Crisis elements and a nebulous, still undefined New Earth continuity, Jason is really getting a raw deal. Because any/all of his old Pre-Crisis cheer and magic is still potentially there, but at the same time, I feel like we’re seeing the seeds for the death of Felipe Garzonas here. Jason asks the question, “is it so bad if you did kill them?” and doesn’t seem convinced by the answer. Bruce is empathetic to Jason’s sentiment, but Bruce has demonstrated that his sympathy to that idea does not extend to action. His ideals are too strong. Jason, on the other hand, is still in a more precarious spot.

Bruce goes out to interview the widow of a woman who was killed by the same muggers, who admits to Bruce that he’s also glad that they’re dead. The theme of this comic seems to be apathy towards human life.

Hmm… don’t like the quotes around “police brutality” there, Gordon. I feel like what you’re describing is pretty clearly misconduct by one of your cops, actually.

[Both from Batman #402]

Another Jason moment here… another instance of him not seeming to have a clear eye on what it is that they do, what the mission is about. I feel you can tie this back to Batman #401, which was all about establishing what that mission is. We the reader are being guided here, to make our own decisions on what Batman is about, and if we agree more with Bruce or Jason.

[Batman #402]

Batman is on the hunt for the suspect, and he muses that he wants this to be an underworld conspiracy rather than a “good cop gone bad” situation. We know that Batman believes in the cause of justice, but I feel this tiptoes a little closely to the idea that there are people for whom it’s more of a tragedy for them to succumb to crime, rather than taking the position that it’s tragic for anyone to become a criminal. I don’t know, there just seems to be an implicit writing off of criminals that once they’ve become criminals, well, that’s all we can expect of them. But this good cop, this good and decent man, oh how awful.

Bruce also acknowledges that the similarity in this imposter’s mission is to take on crime, just as Batman’s is, and he even recognizes why Jason makes that connection. But it doesn’t clear the insurmountable hurdle that is the sanctity of human life, which separates them. One distinction, but a huge one.

Batman races to save a mob assassin who’s getting immunity and witness protection in return for testimony, which he seems none too pleased about.

[Batman #402]

Just last issue, I spent a lot of time talking about how one of Batman’s great virtues was that he empathized with the criminals he fights, even as he brings them to justice for their crimes. Yet here, he obviously holds no love for Snuffer. What gives? If pressed, I’d say it’s the difference between Magpie’s crimes being rooted in mental illness (however poorly portrayed) versus Snuffer’s being a killer for money. There’s a disregard for human life (again, that theme) that Snuffer has calculated and accepted, versus Magpie who is portrayed as more “helpless” against herself.

The imposter drops down, screaming that Snuffer doesn’t deserve to live… and sentiment that Bruce doesn’t seem to disagree with, but again, the whole point is that life is sacred, no matter how scummy the person is.

Robin drops in and distracts the guy long enough for Bruce to lay him out, leaving only the police to come by and pick the imposter up.

[Batman #402]

This panel drives me a little bonkers. “Who am I but just another guy who thinks he’s Batman?” Bruce you are Batman! You invented it! But it’s also a recognition of Batman-as-idea, Batman-as-symbol. Bruce’s invention has gone on to mean something, and people are interpreting their own meaning from it just as fast as he can do actions under its banner. This idea especially drives me nuts when thinking about all the legacy characters and proteges who will take up this banner with their own flair, and what it means to them–to stop crime, to bring justice, to value life–though each with their own lines.

Also, let's all appreciate another moment of Small Jason.

Batman #403 starts with the imposter escaping police custody. I realize I never stated his name; his name is Tommy Carma. I guess there are only so many Batman villain names. Anyway, after Tommy breaks out of Arkham (oh hey, is this the first Arkham appearance in New Earth?) we get a smash cut to Bruce on a date with Vicki Vale. Vicki is dragging Batman for filth, which is made even funnier when she admits that what attracts her to Bruce is that he has “broad shoulders and millions of dollars…” and that he doesn’t wear a mask. Sis.

Interesting geography note, Arkham is listed here as being to the north of Gotham City, out in the county, and not too far from Wayne Manor. We learn this because Tommy is headed there, looking for Bruce Wayne. When the police later search for him, it seems that it’s actually easy to accidentally cross over from Arkham property to Wayne property. I don’t know if this is because they’re right up next to each other, or because the Waynes own large tracts of Kane County. My gut would say the latter. 

In their car, Bruce and Vicki are discussing Carma–Vicki wonders if the mob’s killing his wife and kid caused his mind to snap, leading him to become this murderous Batman. Bruce, who also suffered a tragic loss that made him Batman, tactfully asks if Vicki wonders if the real Batman ever suffered something similar. Smooth, Bruce. Really though, I read this as another point in the long string of “people have Bad Days and some people handle them well and some people don’t” moments that Batman comics like to use. Anyway, did you know this was published a year and a half before The Killing Joke? I wonder what that writing to publication timeline looked like.

[Batman #403]

Fortunately, Bruce doesn’t seem too put out by Vicki’s putting Batman down. He and Jason go down to the Batcave, only to discover that the Batmobile is missing! This is because when Tommy Carma was hiding from the police, he ducked into a natural opening that ended up being connected to a larger cave system. He followed that cave into the Batcave, which really just makes me concerned about Bruce’s security. (Glances in Bruce Wayne: Murderer)

[Batman #403]

I also want to point out now that until he dons a Batsuit, Tommy Carma has been running from the police in this little crop top and sweatpants. I love the look.

Bruce, Jason, and Alfred use actual detective work to deduce that somehow, Tommy Carma got in the cave, and that he must have taken the Batmobile. I love seeing these three find clues and make inferences–it sounds like a gimme, that they’ll do detective work in Detective Comics Comics’ Detective Comics, but you’d be surprised.

Batman heads out on the Batcycle to find Gordon and let him know that Carma jacked his ride, where Gordon then tells Batman that really this is all Bruce Wayne’s fault. Smooth. Batman doesn’t seem too pressed, and jumps off a building.

[Batman #403]

Batman has realized that to kill the hitman, Carma would have had to know the address, so he finds his mole. They spat back and forth for a bit about the difference between a sin and a crime, and there’s a little dash of cop-moralizing in there.

[Batman #403]

Maybe more than a dash. I’m sure there’s an essay in me about these two panels, but it drives me crazy that these “good busts” are getting lamented when it sounds like part of the blame is being placed on… civil liberties? Police brutality is not a shortcut! Civil liberties and peoples’ rights are not roadblocks to cops, or at least they shouldn’t be viewed that way. They are things that protect us from systemic abuse and overreach of power. That’s part of what carves Batman out–he’s not systemic! He was not created by a government or a representative out of some social contract. He is not beholden to the same expectations and guidelines as the police. That’s part of the whole point!

Carma is a critique of an overzealous Batman, and how there are moral lines that Batman can’t cross. At the same time, they’re saying “if [Carma] hadn’t idolized you, he’d have made a fine cop.” Because he would have stayed in bounds? The cop Batman’s shaking down seems to regret that Carma was violent and disregarded procedure, but it’s just not clear if he hates that because Carma violated people’s rights, or just because it meant they couldn’t put the bad guy away. There’s a difference.

[Batman #403]

I don't really have anything to say here, other than that Bruce canonically talks to his car.

[Batman #403]

This is the end, and no notes. Just everyone read these two panels and burn them into your mind.

I’ll see folks next time for Year One!

[v-as-in-victor]

Also I watched Batman Forever (1995) on the plane from Sydney and I have questions and comments.

Did the script have an editor or anyone who was supposed to make sure the plot plotted?

Why did Val Kilmer only play one character that was neither really Bruce Wayne nor really the Batman?

How come no one went "oh my god the Batman looks, acts, and talks exactly like Bruce Wayne who incidentally put on a pretty solid martial arts display fighting Two Face at the circus?"

That was the worst Commissioner Gordon I've ever seen.

So the Riddler and Two Face are on this crime spree montage... but Batman just... never goes out Batmanning against them unless the batsignal is lit, in which case he will drive into and out of a trap and still make no effort to catch either villain? This is like the Panda Red sketch about what happens if you take the light bulb out of the batsignal.

Nicole Kidman's character is vague and contributes nothing serious except getting to be a hostage. Rude. "I have a doctorate in saying yeah this guy seems pretty whack," is not ... very good characterization.

Robin starting out when he already looks like a full-grown man who we're supposed to agree is roughly college age is a hard sell for me.

Young Master Grayson ran away and then just... turned up again... out of the blue... in the suit Alfred made him. What is his motivation? What changed? Where was he? Out getting hot chips?

OK but ... having said that.... I absolutely adored Jim Carrey's highest of camp Riddlers. Well done that man. Over the top zany of course, but underpinned by a truly vicious smallness of mind and dangerous temperament.

[tmae3114]

RESET RELATED DISCUSSION MY BELOVED

@flavos-df​, this is actually the first time I’ve heard this theory in my time active in the fandom and it’s a really interesting possibility! There’s been a few theories about what the “closest match” that got merged with in the Reset was and I’ve seen “a starship” be suggested before but not the Mage specifically!

This got very long and way out of my control, so more under the readmore to spare everyone else’s dashboards XD Also I apologise for the wall of text, I was a lot more legible before tumblr took away my horizontal lines and therefore my ability to easily mark segments >:T Also also, I cover a lot of ground in here and I hope it doesn’t come off as assuming it’s all stuff you don’t know! It’s mostly just force of habit from uni, establishing my evidence for what I’m saying & all!

I’d say that, right at the start, there’s a couple of quick it-was-meant-to-be-quick-but-I-infodumped-at-length-about-specifics-so-they’re-quite-long-actually things to establish! For the sake of clear communication & being on the same page & etc!

The first is what my own actual stance re: the Kordana quests & their lore is and the second is that we do know for sure that Cysero and Sys-Zero are the same person and why we know that. And then, after that, actually talking about your theory that maybe Sys-Zero and the Mage were merged in the Reset! Because that’s a cool theory and I’d like to talk about it!

1. My Stance On The Early Kordana Quests

I feel like it’s only fair to establish where I’m approaching the conversation from, since the nature of human beings is that even when we try to be objective, our own opinions will bias our interpretations at least a little! That’s not necessarily a good or a bad thing (depending on the circumstances), generally just a neutral one, but one to be aware of! So, y’know, letting you know what I think so you know where my interpretations are coming from XD

So, the Kordana thing!

The thing about the Kordana stuff is that it was released before MechQuest launched. Ruins of Kordana was released on the 7th of September, 2007 and MQ launched just under a month later, on the 1st of October, 2007. (The ninja version of the quest, The Hunt Begins, which has some additional dialogue relating to how the Wind Orb came to be in Kordana’s care but otherwise identical dialogue, released on the 30th November 2007, just short of two months after MQ launched)

What this means is that Kordana’s information about the Reset - and, thus, anything relating to MQ - predates pretty much all of the lore later established in MQ. And, well, it shows. Kordana describes herself as the “onboard Artificial Intelligence” for a “Heavy Battlemech” with “a crew of 251 humans, and 72 cordemi”. This is significant because that information in general doesn’t line up with what we actually see in MQ. Most mecha do not have onboard AI or large crews! They’re pretty much always piloted by a single pilot! Even starships that turn into mechs tend to have a single person crew aboard when doing so! Most significantly, though, the cordemi are a species we have never encountered in MQ. They’re not even off-screen allies, they’re entirely a non-entity. And all of those inconsistencies make sense because, again, Kordana’s information predates the entirety of MQ as a game!

Because of all of that, I tend to view Kordana’s information as a case of Early Installment Weirdness. It’s not retconned insomuch as it’s.... comparable to an early draft that was left in, imo? So I tend to apply that to what she says about Cysero as well! Yes, she heavily implies that he’s a starship of some kind but we can see from everything else established later that even if that was an idea that they had, it didn’t carry forwards.

My approach tends to be that if something Kordana said lines up with information we got later (e.g. the Reset is A Thing That Happened, reality was rewritten during the finale battle of the Shadowscythe War, Warlic may or may not remember) then it’s canon but if it doesn’t (e.g. implications of Cysero being a starship, the existence of the cordemi), then it’s not. Obviously, not everyone views it this way, this is just the way that I do!

2. Cysero and Sys-Zero are Definitely The Same Person

We have pretty strong evidence that as far as, like, consciousness and selfhood goes, Cysero and Sys-Zero are the same person. Cysero is post-Reset Sys-Zero. Cysero even, unlike every other person we know of other than Safiria, remembers being his pre-Reset self!

(People like Kordana, Jack Crescent, and Myalos, I’m not counting as “remembering their pre-Reset self” because they don’t have post-Reset selves the way other characters do. They came through the Reset more-or-less intact and more-or-less unchanged)

The short version is that I’m sure of Cysero not being a starship and definitely being post-Reset Sys-Zero because both DF and MQ tell us so and it’s been referenced in AQW as well! (Which is significant because, canonically, the AQW timeline is the result of the AQ/DF/MQ timelines getting mashed together in another timeline reset, though in an entirely different way than our Reset, which you may or may not have already known :p)

In MQ, during EndGame (when the Reset happens), the Hero of Soluna encounters several people as reality is reasserting itself. The following dialogue occurs:

<You>: Woah... Oh boy. Someone please tell me everything is really back to normal and you guys are part of some Renaissance fair. Warlic: We have been expecting you. <You>: Warlic!? Is that you? What in the world did you do to your hair? It got all... emo. Wait! Artix? Robina? Safiria? Is that.... Captain Sys-Zero? 

That’s the MQ finale itself identifying Cysero as Sys-Zero (how the Hero recognised him is a mystery, the only resemblence is the hidden eyes!) even if there’s clearly more uncertainty than with the others.

In DF, the most significant quest for this is CyseRedux, where we help Cysero break spacetime and bring a bunch of different versions of himself together from across timelines (y’know, as one does :p). These versions include his AQ counterpart (via implication, courtesy of mentioning being from “five years or so” in the future), his AQW counterpart (obviously, via the art style), a portrait in the background of real life dev Cysero, and...

...Sys-Zero! Who gets a dramatic entrance with his scarf flowing in the wind indoors and then an extended sequence where he and Cysero nod vigorously at each other and exchange no words. Which is then followed up by:

Lim: Cysero! Cysero: Yahoo? Cysero: Yo? Cysero: Ahoy-hoy? Sys-Zero: It's Sys-ZERO. With a Z.

(side note: I grabbed those screenshots from TheRuinedShadow’s playthrough because I didn’t want to go do the boss battle in this quest in the middle of writing this reblog :p)

That’s Sys-Zero showing up when Cysero is messing about with timeline counterparts of himself, the two of them acknowledging each other, and Sys-Zero then responding to the name “Cysero”, if only to correct the pronunciation for addressing him specifically. Additionally, CyseRedux was released in 2010 and EndGame in 2013, so this predates the actual Reset happening!

So that’s MQ and DF telling us that they’re the same person more-or-less covered - there’s a bunch of other little things regarding Cysero scattered around DF but hunting them all down would be overkill for this, I think.

Finally, that time Cysero and Sys-Zero being the same person was referenced in AQW! (I specify this bc the MQ timeline has been referenced more than once in AQW, iirc, including one time Cysero poked fun at Dean Warlic’s hair)

Back in 2015, there was an AQW release that involved running around Cysero’s house, and one of the rooms you can find in there contained this:

Which at the very least ties Cysero and Sys-Zero together but together with the MQ and DF stuff feels like more fuel for “yep, same person”. Especially since almost every other person who changed in the Reset, he remembers it, adding weight to the “never forget” scratched into the wall. The portrait of Sys-Zero is self explanatory but also significant is the “Yo-Da” drink cup there because we see Sys-Zero drinking one of those in MQ, on his way to Tibattleonia prior to getting caught by the Shadowscythe and nanovirused. Something like that is a personal touch, y’know?

3. OKAY, that’s established, now let’s actually talk about your theory

Nothing about Cysero and Sys-Zero being the same person actually prevents some kind of merge with a starship during the Reset!

The possibility that the files that got merged into Sys-Zero in the Reset were the Mage is a really interesting possibility, especially since it would explain where exactly his absolutely bonkers power levels game from.

In terms of power source, we know that the Mage, and more specifically the Reset, was powered by the Dragon Heart Shards. We don’t know much about them, iirc, but I’m pretty sure it was implied at some point that they were the pre-Reset counterpart to the Elemental Orbs? I haven’t been able to verify that so I might have just made it up but either way we know that the Dragon Heart Shards were immensely powerful, given that just one was enough to provide enough power to conquer a planet (the Planet Yokai questline in the Wormhole Saga). Even though the majority of the power was drained protecting the Mage from the Shadowscythe’s Doomsday Device and the subsequently coffee maker and actually activating the Reset, since they’re pretty heavily implied to be magical, there’s no established reason they couldn’t have regenerated over time! Plus, the Universal Backup was completed before they were drained, so they may have just gotten refilled that way.

Pretty much everything we know about the Mage comes from EndGame and Dean Warlic actually explains how old the ship is just before explaining the “backup for the universe” thing you mention in your original post!

Warlic: If you are seeing this, then the Universe has been already been destroyed. Warlic: You are aboard my personal Starship, the Mage. Warlic: This vessel was created in secret over the past several years for this very situation. Warlic: Upon detecting a galaxy-wide implosion the ship automatically teleported you here and entered a protective stasis field. 

When he references “the past several years” here, he’s specifically referring to years during the Shadowscythe War (i.e. the plot of MQ) so we know that the Mage doesn’t predate the war. It was created specifically as a last-ditch hope in the events that the war destroyed reality. And it wasn’t completed until pretty much the last minute, with Warlic actively working on it during the March of the Shadowscythe storyline (though nobody was sure exactly what he was working on, in-universe) and the hero having to fight Korin for the Dragon Heart Shards for it. And we actually know the exact moment Warlic completed the backup because right after the hero finishes their confrontation with Drakath about the Black & White Dragon Boxes and Lady Celestia arrives to save the Black Dragon Box, this happens:

Which is very neat because it means we know why the universe restarted at the point that it did:

But that’s me going off on a tangent. Whoops!

Anyways, with what we know of the Mage, there’s not much particular reason for Sys-Zero to have been closely involved with it. It was Warlic’s secret project, as far as we know, and the only person other than him we see involved in it is Char. Sys-Zero was much more active out on the front lines of the war, being a Hero of Soluna and everything. That said, I’m absolutely sure that he and Warlic were friends. They don’t get to talk much but what little we do see points to friendship for me.

If the Mage is the “closest match” that got merged with him in the Reset, possibly it wasn’t because of any actual similarity between them? Maybe it was related to how Warlic organised the files in the backup?

Anyone remember the Kordana quest in the Wind Orb saga? And how she basically implied that Cysero was a starship?

Am I wrong in thinking that Cysero was The Mage (Dean Warlic's starship)? Because iirc Sys-zero's starship was the Reliant, and I mean,

"A mage?! Oh, I see! What a clever idea!"

I feel like that would make more sense if, well, yknow. The Mage became a mage.

Wait wait I just remembered something.

The Mage was used to backup the entire universe.

Cysero is weird. Reality-bending levels of weird.

He does things that shouldn't be possible. Knows things that a normal person shouldn't. Way past the occasional fourth wall break to remind the Hero to read the name above the dialogue box.

A literal diety recognizes him as another higher being (listen I know Zeuster is weird but he counts as a diety in my eyes).

And people call him mad.

But how much power would it take for something to backup the universe? At that point, no sky could ever hope to limit you! And what would happen if that something with such immense power had to turn into a someone?

The only thing I'm a bit iffy on...

Why was the starship the closest match?

Well, Dean Warlic knew Sys-zero, dare I say they may have been friends. And we never really hear of The Mage before the finale, so we don't know how much time he spent in it. But he definitely spent enough time in it to build it into A UNIVERSE SAVE FILE, so hey.

Maybe Cysero was the AI aboard The Mage. Idk, some kind of sentient autopilot system. Maybe they were friends too.

Maybe that's why Kordana knows he would remember her. We don't know what DW and The Mage were up to back then after all (and Warlic is old af, this could have been centuries before the events of MQ), so maybe they went on a mission abroad and that's how they got in contact with Kordana?

Could also theorize that DW and S-0 had an inside joke between them that resulted in DW nicknaming The Mage Cysero, but who really knows. That's more of a headcanon than anything though.

[stilloutofmyvulcanmind]

It Takes Two Part 1

Requested by @verdonafrost (I know it doesn’t seem like what you asked for, but it’ll get there, I promise!)

Pairing: Bruce Wayne x Female!Reader

Characters: Bruce Wayne, Reader, Alfred Pennyworth, Original characters

Word Count: 5.3k

Warnings: Drug deals, arguments, discussion of death, minor violence, threats of assault

Summary: Nearly a year ago you accepted the offer to work with Batman, to train under him, learn from him, be his partner. Yet when a seemingly normal drug bust on Christmas Eve brings memories back from the past, you find that partnership tested to its limits.

Part 1 of 6

Part 2 Part 3

A solid fist to your jaw sent you stumbling backward but failed in its job to knock you down. You grabbed the wrist, moving as you twisted the arm. The other fist came up, aiming at your stomach. You blocked it, using the momentum to swing yourself around, legs hooked around your attacker’s neck, and jerked them to the ground. 

You rolled immediately back to your feet, grinning, believing you'd won. 

A foot swept your legs out from under you then came up with the other, delivering a hard kick to your middle that sent you flying backward. 

You hit the floor hard, the breath knocked out of you. Your attacker was on you in a second, gun pointed at your forehead. 

"Bang. Dead," they growled. "Never presume victory."

You lay panting, glaring up at Bruce. "Got it," you said, batting the hand that was holding the fake gun away. Bruce didn't move though, remaining where he was, keeping you pinned to the training mat. "I'd like to see a crook get up from that beating though."

"Maybe most won't, but there are some out there a lot more dangerous that won't hesitate to kill you." Bruce finally moved, knee leaving your stomach to let you actually catch your breath. He tossed the gun to the side and offered out a hand. 

You refused it, pulling yourself back to your feet instead. “Good thing I have a partner to watch my back then."

Bruce hummed, frowning. He did that a lot. "I wouldn't say partners. You haven't fully earned that mask yet."

Resisting the urge to roll your eyes, you went to grab the water bottle instead. You'd been training with Bruce for months now, and still, he treated you like a child more often than not. Occasionally you regretted your decision to take him up on his offer to take you under his wing and train you properly, thinking that maybe it would've been better to just continue by yourself. But even though he was as tough as it got, the training had made you a better vigilante, and the new kevlar suit he'd had made for you was definitely an improvement. Both design and safety-wise. Plus it was just easier to work with the Batman than against him. You'd learned that the hard way. 

"So what now? Another round?" 

Bruce nodded as he picked up the fake gun again and took his position in the center of the mat. 

You were just about to join him when Alfred appeared in the room. "Sir, the Batsignal."

Bruce dropped the gun and looked at you, "Suit up."

~

You landed silently on the roof behind Bruce, your cape billowing gently behind you. You'd been doubtful when he'd first suggested one, but you'd come to like the steady warmth of it on your shoulders especially in Gotham's harsh winter. 

Gordon was on the other side of the roof, back facing the both of you as he looked out over Gotham. 

"Gordon," Bruce greeted, voice coming out deep and gravely due to the voice modulator. 

"Jesus!" He cursed jumping and turning around. "D'you think one day you could do that without giving me a heart attack?!" 

Bruce said nothing, just walked forward into the light more with you shadowing him. "What is it?"

"Straight to the point it is then,"  Gordon muttered, glancing over Bruce's shoulder at you and nodding in greeting. He flicked the rest of his cigarette to the ground, letting it fizzle out in the snow. "We just got a tip that there's a drug deal going down at the docks tonight. I'd have sent some of my guys but what with the holiday we're already understaffed."

Bruce nodded, "We'll deal with it."

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

Bruce turned, giving you a look that meant follow, and jumped off the edge of the building. 

~

The tip-off was accurate. The warehouse Gordon had sent you too was crawling with armed goons patrolling the perimeter. 

"How did we not catch wind of this?" You whispered from where you were perched in the shadows next to Bruce. 

"We'll figure that out later. First, we stop it. Surveillance shows fifteen men outside, and another ten inside. I'll take the North-East, you the South-West and meet on the roof."

You nodded, "Got it."

The goons didn't stand a chance. Not one noticed you swoop in and take them down one by one quick and quiet. Not a peep came from Bruce's area either, not that you'd expected him to be spotted. 

You grappled to the roof, landing silently a second before Bruce, boots crunching softly in the undisturbed snow. You exchanged a look and Bruce motioned to a small panel. A vent. He made quick work of getting it loose, and you followed him, dropping down and keeping your footsteps soft against the metal as you landed. Bruce had already undone the cover on the inside and crept out onto the rafters. Joining him, you found a vantage point to spy on the people below. 

"Boss said to flog the green stuff first, keep the prices low 'til the kids get hooked, then sell 'em the blue pills. Better high, better price." One man said, talking to the others surrounding him.

"What's the deal when they can't pay?" 

"Tell 'em they owe you a favor. Boss'll call it in soon enough."

Your hand balled into a fist on instinct at the conversation. Selling drugs to kids was bad enough, but you also knew that the 'favors' owed would likely end badly, that the poor kid in debt would be more than expendable. 

Glancing over at Bruce, he was still looking down, observing. The moment they started to distribute the drugs, he pounced. 

The smoke grenade landed smack in the middle, with both of you following immediately behind it. The first time you'd tried to fight in the smoke it had ended with Bruce taking you down immediately, but now you moved through the dense cloud with practiced ease, finding your targets and eliminating them from the fight. 

Despite Bruce's insistence that you weren't partners yet, the two of you worked together near flawlessly. You were in-sync, knowing what the other was going to do before they did it. One tried to swing at you as you were fighting another, flailing near blind in the smoke but still coming close enough to land the hit. You swerved to the right, and the attacker was instead met by Bruce’s fist in his face. Another attempted to lurch at Bruce with a knife. In a second the knife was clattering across the concrete floor, and the crack of a bone-breaking filled the air. 

The smoke began to clear and in the corner of your eye, you saw a masked goon grab a gun and aim it at Bruce. Without even needing to think, you threw one of your batarangs, the metal slicing through the air until it embedded itself in the man’s hand before he could even get his finger on the trigger. The gun dropped to the floor and you kicked it to one side before taking him down.

Straightening out, you looked around. Only the two of you were left standing.

“Good work,” Bruce said, and you had to resist the urge of fake fainting. 

You simply nodded instead and turned to start securing the perps while Bruce contacted Gordon. It was a simple process until the sleeves of one of the crooks rose up exposing his wrist and the tattoo on it. 

The small symbol, a dagger through a rose, turned your blood to ice. It had been years since you'd last seen it, but the image was scarred into your memory forever. 

"I know who's behind this."

~

"Curt Roman? No, It's impossible."

You were standing in front of the Batcomputer with Bruce and Alfred, looking at several photos of a businessman. 

"Bruce, it's him."

"I know Curt, he's a friend. He's donated hundreds of thousands to Wayne Foundation programs."

"And no one who does good could possibly have a secret?" 

Bruce gave you a look. "He also has no criminal connections. Or a tattoo of a dagger through a rose."

"Of course he doesn't! He's being clever! Doesn't make him innocent!" 

"Certainly doesn't make him guilty!" Bruce turned to face you, arms crossed over his chest. "What evidence do you have?" 

"I don't have any. I just know it's him!" 

"Not good enough." The words came out in a growl, and it was tough not to wilt away under the intensity of the glare. There weren't many people who could staredown Batman, but you were damned sure you were going to be one of them. 

"It's. Him. Trust me."

"Give me proof and I'll consider it. Until then we're going to focus on what we actually know; that a gang baring this symbol is trying to flood the streets with drugs. Finding out who they are is more important than a wild goose chase."

"It's not-" 

"Enough! Go home, Y/N."

"You're benching me?!" 

"No. I'm giving you a chance to re-evaluate and come back with a clear head."

You wanted to argue. You were pissed and he was brushing you off. But he was also adamant, and arguing would be like talking to a brick wall. 

"Fine."

"Good. Be here tomorrow for patrol."

You turned and stalked your way to the back of the cave where you could change back into your civilian clothes in peace. So maybe you tossed the discarded pieces of armor to the floor a little harder than was necessary, you didn't really care. You hated that Bruce didn't believe you, thinking that by now you'd at least earned some trust. And it wasn't like he never went on gut instinct. He often followed it until he found tangible evidence. But it seemed he valued his rich friend over your thoughts. 

You looked down at the suit once you were done, and started to pick it up. You were mad at Bruce, not Alfred, and you weren't going to let him clean up your mess. 

Like he knew you were thinking about him, Alfred appeared, hands clasped behind his back. "Are you okay, Miss Y/N? Master Bruce can be a bit too brusque sometimes."

Chuckling softly, you nodded. "I'm fine, Alfred, it's nothing I've not handled before."

"He can be quite protective of his friends."

You decided not to say how you thought you were his friend too. 

"So it seems." Busying yourself with putting the suit back in its case properly, you hoped Alfred would drop the subject. 

Thankfully, he did. "Before you leave, are you sure you don't wish to join us for Christmas lunch? There will be more than enough, and as they say, the more the merrier."

"They also say three's a crowd." Facing Alfred again you smiled. "Thank you, I appreciate the offer, really, but I do have plans."

Alfred watched you a moment, looking to see if you were telling the truth no doubt, and for a second you could've sworn he looked disappointed when he saw you were. "In that case, take this." He brought his hands forward, showing you the wrapped gift he'd had hidden behind him. "It's from both of us."

Meaning it was from Alfred, but Bruce had forgotten. 

You took the gift, feeling the weight of it in your hands. It had give to it, so probably a sweater or some other item of clothing. Whatever it was, you had no doubt that it would be gorgeous. You slipped the item into your bag carefully, and kissed Alfred's cheek, feeling him smile. "I've left gifts for you and Bruce under the tree."

"Quite stealthy of you, miss. Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Alfred."

~

The present was a sweater. A deep red cable-knit sweater that was almost too soft to be real. It was beautiful and warm and comfy, and Alfred definitely knew you well. 

You wore it to lunch, laughing when the young girl that launched herself at you at the door commented on how soft it was. 

"Wow, Wayne really goes all out for his employees, huh?" Chloe, the girl's mom said, hugging you in return. 

"Not like he can't afford it." It wasn't a lie really. You had started to work for Bruce since you'd started 'working' with him, and he was a good enough boss to make sure everyone received a nice gift. Just maybe not that nice. 

"True enough."  She laughed, "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas."

"Aunt Y/N! Come see what Santa brought me!" Mollie tugged at your hand, pulling you away from Chloe and over to the tree where a pile of presents sat. She started showing you each one, going on about it excitedly and making you look every individual item over before moving to the next one. 

Glancing over your shoulder, Chloe was watching you both. She mouthed a 'thank you' and you smiled. You'd do anything for either of them. Including making sure Mollie had the best Christmas possible. 

You helped Chloe make lunch while Mollie played and watched some dumb Christmas movie, and for a couple of hours, everything was perfect. Until you'd just finished clearing up and there was a knock on the door. 

Mollie ran to answer. "Hell-ah!" Her yell had you spinning away from the sink, blood running cold as four masked men barged into the apartment. One had Mollie in his arms, pistol aimed at her head. 

"Stay calm and no one gets it." Another said while the two remaining crooks aimed their guns at you and Chloe. 

"Mommy!" 

"Shut up!" The man holding her growled, pressing the barrel firmer to her temple. 

The first one to speak and one of the others started grabbing everything and shoving it into bags, the fourth keeping you and Chloe trapped in the kitchenette with his gun trained on you. 

"These two're pretty, boss. Whatcha say abou' lettin' us 'ave a little Christmas treat?" 

Chloe shuddered next to you, sniffing quietly. 

"Don't see why not. We can spare a few minutes."

Like hell that was going to happen. 

You glanced down at the counter, weighing up your options. If you were suited it'd be easier to mount an attack, but as it was there was next to nothing separating you from their bullets. 

There was a knife in the dish rack to your left, sharp enough to do some damage. To your right were some ingredients that had yet to be put away. Flour. It could cause enough distraction. 

With one hand you pushed Chloe to the floor in the same instant as you tossed the knife across the room. It hit the guy holding Mollie square on the hand gripping the gun. He yelled, the gun dropping and his grasp on Mollie loosening. The girl reacted, jerking herself loose and dropping to the floor. 

There was no time to make sure she was hidden. You grabbed the flour, tossing it over the man in front of you before he even knew what was happening. You caught the gun, wrenching it from him and tossing it aside. Using his body and the momentum, you shoved him forward, barging him into the other two. 

A gunshot rang out, the bullet flying past your ear. You pushed the one you were holding hard against another, letting him go in favor of taking down the last one steady on his feet. Another shot and you felt the pain in your leg. A quick glance down saw blood on your thigh. Just a graze it seemed. 

You moved again, disarming the one with the gun, a swift blow to the head with the butt of it knocking him down. The third went down seconds later. The only one left conscious was the one who'd grabbed Mollie. He was on his knees, knife still through his hand apparently not even taking notice of everything else. 

Not taking the chance, you jumped over the table, and in a moment he was slumped on the floor with his associates. 

You stood over him, panting. Sirens could already be heard in the distance, getting closer rapidly. You turned, facing back to the inside of the apartment. Your eyes landed on Mollie, hiding under the table. You opened your arms and she came bolting out, all but jumping into your arms as she clung to you. 

"It's okay," you whispered, "Are you hurt?" 

She shook her head and you sighed in relief. "Good girl. You're safe now." Another set of arms wrapped around you. Chloe. "You okay?"

"Yeah. Y/N…thank you."

"I promised I'd look out for you, and I meant it."

Footsteps were approaching rapidly, and the three of you were still hugging when the police burst in, guns drawn. 

This was going to be interesting to explain. 

~

"Miss Y/N, are you alright?" Alfred asked the moment you stepped foot in the cave. 

You shouldn't have been surprised, but you'd still hoped to avoid the conversation immediately. You smiled and nodded, "It was just a scratch. I've had worse."

"You were lucky," Bruce spoke from his seat at the computer, already suited up. "And foolish."

Biting back a sigh, you crossed your arms over your chest. "I suppose you would've done differently?" 

"I wouldn't have risked too many questions being asked by showing off."

"No one asked too many questions. They barely even asked any questions at all. You seem to forget that I'm from a part of town where it's perfectly common for people to know how to scrap."

"Oh, so you come across regular citizens disarming four armed robbers often, then?" 

"Not unheard of." Not wanting to argue anymore, you turned and walked away, heading to get changed and ready to go out. 

The two of you went your own separate ways on patrol, sticking to your designated areas, and only communicated when necessary over the coms. Bruce thankfully kept any further comments to himself, only speaking when necessary for the job. 

It was a surprisingly quiet night. You'd expected worse since half the police force was off with their families. It seemed even the crooks wanted to take Christmas off. 

You got back to the cave tired and cold, but not entirely unhappy. Being out in Gotham at night was surprisingly relaxing, especially when it was quieter. 

"We need to talk." There went your good mood. 

"About?" 

"Today. If anything like that ever happens again, wait it out."

"So I was supposed to just stand by and watch as they robbed the place?!" 

"We could've tracked them down tonight."

"Yeah, that would've been real easy. Track down four amateurs who just picked the joint at random. Come on, Bruce, we both know that would've been a needle in a haystack!" 

"It would still be a better option than risking yourself!" 

"It's exactly what you would've done in that situation!" 

"I'd have kept my head, and not needlessly risked my own safety if there was no risk of any harm actually happening."

You scoffed, shaking your head. Liar. "They had a gun to a child's head! I don't care if they weren't planning on shooting, the threat was enough!" 

Bruce's jaw clenched. Apparently, he didn't know that. "You could've been killed."

"Worse things would've happened if I hadn't risked it." Bruce frowned, clearly not understanding. "They weren't planning on just leaving once they got the goods. They were going to stay for a little Christmas treat." 

Now he got it. 

"So don't stand there and tell me how I should've waited it out! For once get off your god damned high horse, and stop acting like I don't know what I'm doing! I know, Bruce. I know I could've been hurt or killed, that it was dangerous. Trust me, it wasn't my ideal way to spend Christmas day either. But I'm not apologizing for it. I'm not going to say sorry for protecting an innocent woman and her child, even if it had ended with me going down!" 

"Y/N-"

"I'm going home. I've had enough of being treated like a child for one night." Turning sharply, you stomped away, not failing to notice how the night had ended this way twice in a row now. 

You did love working with Bruce. Hell, you were fond of him in general, but he was infuriating recently. Maybe the two of you were just incompatible as a team. You wanted equal footing, but it always seemed that Bruce wanted someone to give orders to. And it wasn't like you weren't fine with listening to him. He had the experience. But when it came to the point that he was trying to order you about for every little thing? That was too much. 

You were midway through stripping when you heard the footsteps approach the secluded changing area. They were too heavy to be Alfred's, and much louder than Bruce usually was, which meant he was purposely giving you a heads up. 

You didn't stop. You'd been semi-nude around each other enough times over the last few months that it had long stopped being an issue. You finished taking off the outer suit and started removing the thinner layer underneath until you were down to the shorts and vest. 

"Does it hurt?" 

You glanced down at the bandage around your thigh. It had been hours since you'd taken pain meds. "It's fine."

Bruce moved to stand next to you, starting to pull off his own armor. "Are you okay? In general."

"I'm fine." You moved away from him, tugging your jeans and sweater back on. 

"If you keep saying that, it might start sounding believable."

"Didn't think you cared much either way."

There was a long pause, and yeah, maybe that was a bit of a low blow. "Of course I care, Y/N." His voice was soft enough that you were almost inclined to believe him. "What we do is dangerous, and I don't want to see you get hurt unnecessarily. But you were right in what you did today. It is what I would've done."

That was probably as close to an apology as you were going to get. "I don't need you to babysit me, Bruce." You sat heavily on one of the benches lining the wall and looked at him. "I've been through more than even you know, more out of the mask than under it."

Bruce pulled a t-shirt over his head and frowned as he walked his way over to sit next to you. "Y/N-" 

You shook your head, "I'm tired, Bruce. I don't want to argue anymore."

"I don't want to argue. I was just going to ask if you were okay again."

Oh. "Yeah," you sighed, "It's just been a day."

Bruce nodded, "Are they alright? The others?" 

"Terrified, but not hurt. Wanted me to stay with them tonight, but I put them up in my place for the night instead." You'd been looking down at your hands, but glanced up at Bruce as you smiled, "They also kinda hate you now. I told them you had me working."

Bruce chuckled, "Thanks." He fell quiet and you didn't have the energy to muster up any small talk either. You were about to get up and leave when he spoke again. "Who are they? I saw the names on the report, and I know they aren't family."

"It's…complicated. I promised someone once that I'd look out for them."

"Someone who isn't around anymore I take it?" 

"Yeah."

"You were close."

"Something like that."

"I'm sorry."

"It was a long time ago."

"With some things, it doesn't matter how much time passes, it continues to hurt."

"Yeah."

"What happened?" 

"It's a long story."

"I've got nothing better to do."

"Would've thought Bruce Wayne would be busy making the most of what's rest of his Christmas night. There must be parties going on still."

"Great. Rooms teeming with people who've had too much to drink and no longer know about personal space. My favorite."

“So you’d rather be here and share feelings? It’s a Christmas Miracle!”

“You’re deflecting.”

“I am. Surprisingly, I didn’t learn that from you.”

“Okay, so I’m not the best sharer. That doesn’t mean you should practice the same habits. I’m here to listen, Y/N.”

You sighed, fingers playing with the hem of your sweater as you debated just getting up and leaving anyway. That’s what a part of you wanted. But the other part wanted to open up. And Bruce was probably the only person you could trust enough to do so. If you got lucky it might even change his opinion on some things.

“His name was Dean. Grew up together. Same building. Same classes. Spent as much time in the other’s apartment as we did our own. Best friends. First dance. First date. First kiss.”

“First love?”

“First love. We didn’t exactly have it easy, but we were doing good for ourselves. Got into college and everything, and that was pretty rare for kids like us back then. There was an old warehouse nearby, abandoned. We used to sneak in and hang out there. About the only time, we actually got some peace and quiet for ourselves. We could stay there for hours, just sitting and...being with each other. No talk, no pretense. Just us. The night we found out we’d gotten into college, we went. It was late. Closer to the next day really. Didn’t matter. Not to us. I don’t know how long we sat there. We talked about dreams, the future, our future, everything two hopeful kids could talk about. It was perfect.”

Pausing a moment, you closed your eyes. “Then men came in. Six men. We were near the back so they didn’t see us immediately, and too busy making sure it was clear outside to notice us scrabble to hide. There were some beams in there, old, surprising they were still standing. We managed to hide behind them. One each. I thought maybe at first they were the owners of the place. Maybe someone had bought it and was checking it out, or something. But then they started to talk, and it was clear that if they did own it, they weren’t planning on doing anything legal.”

“Drugs mostly. How and where they were going to distribute it, you know the deal. We’ve heard it enough times. But one of them went on about something else. About leaving the country for a few years. He was their boss by the sounds of it, and he said that if he wasn't around suspicion would lay off him and that was what he wanted. It…was terrifying. We knew this shit was going on, but to actually listen to plans being made? We were out of our depth. I remember thinking that we just had to keep calm. Hide and wait it out then run and try and decide what to do. So simple in theory."

"Dean must've been leaning on the beam or something, I don't really know. But it creaked. Loudly. Or it seemed loud. They were on alert in a second. They found him. Dragged him out. I don't know how they didn't see me."

"They beat him. He told them what he heard, swore he'd never utter a word, but they beat him anyway. Couldn't really see much from where I was, but I could hear the hits, hear him cry. And then…then the boss ordered another to shoot Dean. Kill him. Said they couldn't risk him going to the cops. I couldn't see Dean, but I saw the gun. I watched it fire and I heard him drop. And they just left him there. They left him and walked out. Said no one would give a shit."

"I ran to him as soon as they were gone. He was still alive. Barely. His shirt was soaked and he was bleeding so fast. I didn't know what to do. He was scared. Knew he was dying. And he asked me to take care of his sister. I told him I wouldn't need to, that he'd be there, but he made me swear. Made me swear that I would and I did. He told me to go then. To get out before the cops showed up to investigate the gunshot."

"And I did. I ran. And I didn't stop running until I was home and locked away and scrubbing the blood off my hands until it hurt. I left him to die. Alone. Because I was scared. What's worse is that I let them get away with it because I was scared. Because I was too much of a coward to say anything. I let the cops brush it off, say Dean just got in with the wrong crowd, and drop the investigation. I just…made sure his sister was okay. Made sure his niece was okay. And…never said a word to anyone. Until now."

You stopped, taking a shuddering breath. Your leg was trembling, knee bouncing, your hands balled into fists so tightly your nails were close to breaking the skin of your palm. Bruce was quiet, but you couldn't bring yourself to look at him and see what he was thinking. He was probably getting ready to tell you how you should've been braver. How you should've stopped them or helped the police, or done something other than run and hide. 

Then his hand was taking yours, prying your fingers so he could slip his own under them. "You weren't a coward."

"I ran. Pretty sure that makes me a coward."

"It makes you smart. You were a kid, Y/N. A kid with no training. If you'd tried to do anything they would've killed you. And going to the cops with accusations like that would've gotten you killed too. You did what you had to to survive, and there's nothing wrong with that."

"Thank you." It didn't particularly change the guilt, but finally telling someone did feel like a relief, and Bruce saying you were right did mean a lot. 

"Of course. Do you have any idea who they were? If they're still around? We can take them down." 

You hesitated and nodded. "Yeah, I have an idea. The man with the gun. I saw his wrist. He had a tattoo." You met Bruce's eyes. "Of a dagger stabbing a rose."

"That's how you knew them. What else?" 

"Not much. It wasn't much to go on, so I left it alone. For years. Just focused on Chloe and Mollie. Then one day, a couple of years ago, I was doing some laundry, had the TV on in the background. Some announcement for a new charity in Gotham. I was only half listening. The founder came on to give a speech. The moment he spoke…I was back in that warehouse all over again. It was exactly the same. It was him. The one who gave the order. The one who disappeared. The one who was now back."

"Y/N, are you saying… "

"It was Curt Roman, Bruce. He was the one giving orders in the warehouse."

Bruce looked surprisingly shocked. "You're sure? It was years…"

"I heard that voice in my dreams every night for years. I'm sure. And I looked into it. He left for Europe days after."

"This is why you started doing this."

"Yeah. I had…some more to go on, and I…I just couldn't let him get away with it again."

Bruce nodded but was silent. You thought maybe he was going to insist you were wrong. That it must be someone else. The trauma of the night must've messed with your memory. He'd be wrong, of course, but you weren't prepared to argue the point anymore. If he wouldn't believe you, you'd take Roman down by yourself one way or another. 

"Then let's get him. Together."

That you weren't expecting. "You believe me?" 

"I do. If you say he was there, that he's involved, then he is."

You smiled. Bruce returned it. "Thank you, Bruce."

"We're going to bring him to justice, Y/N. I promise."

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[sqoiler]

⭐

time slip! i’m gonna do what i did for spoilerverse and put the whole fic under the cut and comment on it. have fun :)

for a while now, maybe even a few years, i’ve been thinking about how steph started being robin at the oldest age (besides maybe duke) and how perhaps, if the robins got together, she would be looked to as the leader as she’s the oldest, and how surreal that would be for her as robin, who probably knows/suspects bruce is only keeping her as bait for tim, who probably realizes that she has low amounts of experience and such. i just thought it’d be interesting, and one day i actually sat down and wrote the thing. 

There is a time vortex, and a malfunction, and in the end there are six people on top of the Wayne Enterprises building.

They look at each other in shock and take in the matching outfits, the red and yellow and green. All of them have some idea what’s going on, who they’re seeing, except the youngest (who is really the oldest).

don’t remember what i was thinking when i decided not to explicitly name the robins in this fic, besides the fact that when i write i distinguish between someone being in costume vs not in costume by using their codename or real name

“Wait,” he says, his eyes wide. “There are more Robins?”

i think baby dick was too startled to be pissed, but if he were older he would’ve been angry about there being more robins...it is his mantel, after all

“There must’ve been something that altered time,” says the third Robin, who is clever. He is not yet wearing the red and black costume of mourning, and when he looks at the group around him, he only knows the second and first Robins by name. “It’s the only explanation.”

if tim HAD known steph, he never would’ve let her be in charge. also i think he would’ve been angry that she was robin. 

“Of course,” the fifth Robin huffs, exasperated. Unlike his brother, he recognizes everyone except the sixth, and he wishes he didn’t. Under his mask, his eyes rocket skyward. “Just my luck to be stuck with you imbeciles.”

“Awfully judgemental, aren’t you?” the third Robin notes.

“I have a 4.0 GPA,” the second Robin says. “I don’t think I’m stupid.”

All of the Robins stare at him. This is unexpected.

@ bruce post-jason’s death: talk about your son more!!! tim and steph know NOTHING about him and all damian & duke know is red hood!

“Okay, I’ll admit I don’t know what’s going on,” the sixth Robin says. “I’m barely even a real Robin, I’ve only met Batman like...twice.”

“Why are you in the costume, then?” the fourth Robin asks, her arms crossed. She’s afraid, a little, and nervous to be in the presence of all these other Robins. She doesn’t like that she’s the only girl.

“It’s complicated,” the sixth Robin says. The other Robin accepts that at face value.

“How do we know the order?” the second Robin asks. “I mean, I know I’m second, and he’s first.” He points at the first Robin. “And apparently, after us you guys put on some real pants.”

“It’s a traditional acrobatic outfit,” the first Robin protests, and the second says, “I know, I’m just yanking your chain.”

“I’m the third,” the third says.

“I’m next,” the fourth says, tossing her ponytail and trying to be brave. She knows the first and third Robins, although not this young.

“I suppose I am forced to admit I am not the last Robin,” the fifth one says, glaring at the sixth, who shrugs and says, “Again, I’m not like, a real Robin.”

“What purpose did that exercise serve?” the fifth Robin hisses.

“Well, we need a leader,” the second Robin says. “But I guess it doesn’t matter who’s technically oldest, just who’s actually oldest.”

imagine if they asked dick to be in charge cause he’s “technically” oldest. he’s eleven.

“Why should the oldest--” the fifth Robin starts to protest, but all of these Robins are young, and to young people, the oldest is in charge.

They look at each other.

“Don’t look at me,” the sixth Robin says.

“I’m eleven,” the first Robin says. The fifth blinks.

“I’m twelve,” he admits, staring at his mentor as if just realizing that the first Robin is a child.

“Thirteen,” the third says. “But I’m almost fourteen.”

“And I’m actually fourteen,” the second Robin admits easily. The ones after him wince at this casual admittance of his age, at the reveal of this ticking time bomb they know will go off only too soon.

😬

The fourth Robin’s eyes widen. Oh no, she thinks. Oh no.

The others are looking at her expectantly, and she clears her throat.

“I’m sixteen,” she whispers, her voice hollow, and the others nod.

“I’m only fifteen, anyway,” the sixth Robin says, evidently relieved, and the second one says, “Girl Robin is in charge, then.”

“I beg of you to reconsider,” the fifth Robin says, and something in the way his voice snarls makes the fourth Robin’s fists clench. She looks around at them, determined. They are all looking to her.

steph: freaked out but always determined to annoy damian, even when she doesn’t know him yet

“Fine,” she says. “I’ll be in charge. Our first order of business is to figure out who’s timeline we’re really in. The easiest way would be to ask Oracle.”

“Who’s Oracle?” the first Robin asks, eyes wide.

“Don’t worry about that,” the fourth Robin says. “Everyone who can, try to get in touch.”

She touches her own ear, and the third and fifth mimic the gesture.

duke doesn’t have a comm yet, otherwise he also would’ve called oracle, because i do what i want with canon, and that includes keeping babs as oracle

Oracle does not answer any of them.

“Okay,” the fourth Robin says. “Let’s find a newspaper. What year is it?”

She points to the first Robin.

“2005,” he says. She points to the second.

“2012,” he says.

“2014,” the third Robin says.

“2017,” the fifth says.

“2018,” the sixth says. The fourth nods.

“Alright,” she says. “And I’m from 2015. Everyone remember? Okay. Let’s go find a newspaper.”

i didn’t want to go into it, but i feel like both tim and damian might’ve freaked out, since they both just found out that the person who is robin right after them is robin literally next year, so something *happens* to them to make them not robin. luckily for tim and damian in specific, but it’s not death or injury preventing either of them from being robin, and in fact damian is STILL robin when duke becomes robin. 

They leap from the rooftop together. The fourth Robin watches the sixth, since he said he’s new, but he has a grapple, and he can use it. They don’t go straight down, just away from Wayne Towers, and towards somewhere they can be inconspicuous. The fourth Robin is aware that she’s in the lead, and she realizes they could just go back to the Manor, that would solve their problem of what year it was.

But no, instead she casts her gaze instinctively to the spot in the sky where the signal gleams, and it’s not there. She falters and stops at the next rooftop.

i feel like when you’re patroling under the bat, you like to look at the batsignal. makes u feel safe.

“This isn’t a newspaper,” the fifth Robin snarks once everyone else has stopped.

“Was the signal on?” she asks, and the others exchange a look. “Answer me!”

“Yes,” the third says.

“Yes,” the second says.

“Yes,” the sixth says.

“Yes,” the first says.

“Yes,” the fifth admits.

“Look,” the fourth says, and she points at the sky where the signal isn’t. “Someone turned it off. No matter what year we’re in, someone turned it off.”

The others exchange looks, although none of them know each other, not as Robin, anyway. The fourth Robin remembers that she does know the third Robin, but she thinks she’s the only exception.

“We’re going to GCPD,” she says. “We have to see why they turned the signal off.”

“What about the newspapers?” the first Robin asks. “We still don’t know what year it is.”

“If the person who messed with time turned off the signal, than we can confront them,” the fourth Robin says.

“There could be a newspaper on the way, anyway,” the second Robin reasons.

“Or something else to clue us in,” the third says.

“Exactly,” the fourth Robin says. “Let’s go.”

Surprisingly, the others don’t really argue, and the fourth Robin leads the way.

In front of the Batsignal, there are six shapes. They are standing in a perfect circle, the same distance apart. One is shorter than the others. The fourth Robin squints at them from her spot behind the signal, the others crowded around her.

“Which is which?” the sixth Robin whispers.

The fourth Robin gets up and goes to the back of the signal. The others follow her, even the stubborn fifth Robin.

She signals, and the second Robin flips the switch and turns the light on.

The six Batmen turn, five dropping into a matching fighting position and the sixth into a different one.

batman!dick, watching the bruces drop into the same fighting stance: hahaha what the fuck

“You all had better be time-displaced Batmen, otherwise we’re gonna be really mad ,” the fourth Robin calls, flipping herself up to stand on top of the signal. The second and third Robins point the light at the Batmen instead of the sky.

in my head, whatever the robins were doing with the signals was super badass. don’t know if that came across too well, though.

“Spoiler?” the Batman who seems to be in charge says. He must be the oldest, although the fourth Robin thinks it’s weird that he would call her Spoiler when she’s not that anymore.

robin!steph thinks she’s given up spoiler forever, which i think is kind of sad, somehow. of course, she also hasn’t thought about the fact that she’s obviously not robin in the future, so she must be *someone*, but maybe she thinks in the future she’s dead? i don’t know.

“Wrong,” she says, crossing her arms. She’s behind the light, and they can’t see her. “Boys, be ready.”

“How many are there?” in-charge Batman says.

“Six,” another Batman says. Even from here, the fourth Robin can tell he’s a younger one. “There’s six of us, why wouldn’t there be six of them.”

“Chum,” a different Batman says, holding out his hand. “Come here.” The fourth Robin hears movement behind her and she holds out a hand.

this batman speaking is dick’s batman. he’s the only one who’s 100% sure of which sidekick of his is in the shadows, because he only has one sidekick.

“We don’t know that this isn’t a trick,” she says. “How do we know you’re who you say you are?”

“Do you want your secret identities?” the different-Batman says. The other Batmen glare at him.

“Come on, Rob,” the third Robin says. “We should be able to identify our own Batmen.”

we always hear dick or tim being called “rob”, and there was something about the idea of steph being called it that i thought was really cute.

“The Batmen could certainly identify their own Robins,” the second Robin says. The fourth Robin sees four of the six Batmen flinch at the sound of his voice. “I mean, come on, we all have different costumes.”

batman #1: who is speaking

batman #2: oh yay, jason!

batman #3 & 4: oh my god my son...alive again

batman #5 & 6: oh a BABY......an infant......................untouched by death...

“Ours are the same,” the first says, gesturing at the second. The fourth Robin looks away from them and back to the Batmen.

“I already know my Batman,” the fifth Robin drawls. “I am fairly sure this isn’t a trick.”

damian honey that’s cheating yours is the only batman that’s not bruce. speaking of that, though, how are you, emotionally? to you your dad is dead and look, there’s five of him, one of them confirming that your father will return from the dead!

“Are you saying there’s six Robins back there?” the different-Batman says, sounding like he might laugh. There’s something familiar about him, the fourth Robin decides. Definitely not Bruce, but familiar.

should batman!dick remember this encounter, and as a matter of fact should bruces’ 2-6 remember this encounter? yes. do they? absolutely not.

“Hm,” one of the Batmen says.

“There’s more than one Robin?” a Batman asks, and the fourth Robin knows which one that is.

bruce #1: what the fuucckkk

“I mean, they seem time-displaced,” she says, and the fifth Robin scoffs.

“To hell with this,” he says, and he breaks out of the gaggle below the signal and steps into the light, heading straight for the different-Batman.

“Language,” the different-Batman says, laughing for real this time, and the fourth Robin wonders why he would be different but the sixth Batman is still Bruce.

“Fine,” she says. “Find your Batman, or whatever.”

The others listen to her, and leave the shadows. One of the Batmen puts his hand on the sixth Robin’s shoulder and guides him away. The first Batman permits the first Robin to hug him.

The various Batman stare at the second Robin, except the one who claims him as the correct time. The second Robin doesn’t seem to notice.

The last two Batmen stare at the third Robin, and the fourth feels a little sick. They’re only one year different, after all, and she knows she wasn’t the first choice of a Robin.

She jumps from the signal but stays near it, watching their showdown and staying by herself.

“What’s going on?” the sixth Robin asks her, dragging his Batman behind him.

“He hates me,” she says, gesturing.

“I mean….you’re Robin, aren’t you? He probably doesn’t hate you,” the sixth Robin says.

“I made him make me Robin,” the fourth Robin says. “He didn’t chose me.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” the sixth Batman says unexpectedly. “I had a lot of issues, back then.”

“And you don’t still?” the fourth Robin asks him, raising her eyebrow.

“A fair point,” the sixth Batman says, and Robin’s mouth drops. He never agrees with her! “Close your mouth, Robin.”

this single conversation was probably more validating for steph than her entire robin run. because bruce kinda sucks.

She does, and she looks back at the Tim Trio. The third Robin seems to have claimed his Batman, and the other one is kind of watching her talk to the sixth Batman and Robin.

“You were always one of the best,” the sixth Batman says, his voice soft and weirdly tender.

LET!! BRUCE!! COMPLIMENT!! STEPH!!!

“Better than Tim?” she asks instead of addressing that, grinning.

“Go to your own Batman,” the sixth Batman says.

“That’s not a no,” the fourth Robin sing-songs, but she listens anyway, and goes over to the only Batman by himself.

“Fifth Batman is staring at second Robin still,” she says. “Embarrassing.”

“Actually, he’s looking at you,” her Batman says, and when the fourth Robin turns to see if that’s true, the fifth Batman has changed his gaze to look at the first Robin, instead. Some dots attempt to connect in Robin’s head, but she ignores them because that makes no sense.

steph knows cass should be batman instead of dick, but she refuses to think about the implications of dick, of all people, being batman.

“Sure he was,” she says instead. “Whatever. Let’s go home.”

dick was, indeed, looking at steph. he knows her currently as batgirl and never saw her as robin....he noticed that she was in charge and was kind of puzzling things out, regarding his opinion of her.

The sixth Batman is in charge of the Batmen, since he’s oldest, and the Robins follow their Batmen. The Time-Turner is from 2018, but accidentally transported them all back to 2005. He apologizes profusely upon seeing six Batmen and Robins, and everyone goes back home.

tbh i got to this paragraph and was like “wait fuck how did the time travel happen” and then i very quickly made a villain and very quickly brought them home. you’ll notice, when i write, i do my very best to avoid writing fight scenes. 

After Steph’s shower, she goes out into the cave in leggings and a t-shirt so someone can drive her back home.

“Why don’t you stay tonight,” Bruce says, also freshly showered, and Steph blinks after him. He only lets her stay if she’s injured!

“Sure!” she says, and she follows him up into the Manor and to the hall with all the bedrooms. Before she goes into the guest room that she always uses, he clears his throat.

“What you did today,” Bruce starts. “I mean. You were in charge?”

“Yes,” she says slowly. “They wanted the oldest to be in charge. It was Jason’s idea.”

Bruce flinches at the mention of his dead son, and then reaches out a hand to put on her shoulder.

“I’m...proud of you,” he says, his voice a little strangled, and she stares at him, wide-eyed, until he releases her and goes to his own room, shutting the door firmly behind him.

[screams]

gonna be real with you guys, i wrote...half? more than half? of this fic but in batman!dick’s perspective, cause i thought it’d be #neat to read. sad thing is, i don’t remember what doc i started writing it on, and i don’t remember why i stopped, though i must’ve had a reason.

[moonaskingtostay]

Rules: List your top ten episodes of The 100. Then, tag five or so people to do the same!

Tagged by @parapluiepliant

Oh boy this is going to be difficult ...

1. Blood must Have Blood Part 2 (2.16)

Look this episode is perfect. It’s the culmination of a very intense season, it’s emotional, it’s suspenseful, it changes our two leads forever because of the decision they have to make in the end, it’s thought-provoking, and it’s the 100 at its best. The first time I saw this episode I was physically anxious the entire time, that’s how invested I was in the episode, and it’s what made me a fan of the show. And that Knocking on Heaven’s Door scene ... *screams internally*

2. Spacewalker (2.08)

I’m not a Finn fan. I don’t hate him, like it’s pretty common in the fandom, but I mostly think of him as a kind of a bland character with occasional moments of brilliance in season 1. Like many fans, I’m fiercely protective of Clarke and Raven, and I think he’ll forever be the boy who hurt them in my mind. Still, this episode was a magnificient send-off for the character, and it gave us wonderful scenes between him and Raven while also changing Clarke forever. 

3. Nevermore (3.11)

I love bottle episodes. And this one fucking delivered. It was really harsh on our main characters. For Clarke and Bellamy obviously, who had to face through Raven’s taunts the super shitty things they did in the past, but it was also relentless for Jasper and Monty. It was brilliant writing (I will miss Kim Shumway A LOT even if her episode this season was kinda weak) and Lindsey Morgan’s performance made it fucking epic.

4. Hakeldama (3.05)

It’s a great episode, and it offers an interesting development for two key characters : Lexa and Bellamy. When Lexa was ruthless and antagonistic in season 2, we see in the episode Clarke reaching her and convincing her that blood doesn’t have to be spilled and that the grounders can change their very violent ways (RANT MODE ON : I’m side-eyeing a little bit Roan this season when he keeps saying Lexa taught Clarke how to be a better leader/treat her people AND the grounder equally because NO Clarke taught Lexa that, thank you very much, I loved Lexa and I have nothing against the writers trying to celebrate the character and her impact in the universe they created but there’s no need to distort the facts to achieve that RANT MODE OFF). 

But it’s also a very jarring episode for Bellamy who kinda digs a hole in hell for himself and pretty much suffers through the opposite development of Lexa : when in season 2 he was basically Captain America, there he just lets his anger and his pain do the thinking for him. It’s heartbreaking to watch a character you love spiral into darkness but it’s also kinda fascinating. But the real selling point of this episode is The Fight : it’s beautiful, relentless, angsty, wonderfully acted and to this day it remains in my opinion the best scene between Clarke and Bellamy. Hell probably one of the best scenes in the entire show. It’s raw and the best the show can offer. 

I also adore this episode for the face Kane makes when Jaha tries to tell him about the City of Light. SO BEAUTIFUL.

5. Murphy’s Law (1.04)  

Not necessarily the strongest episode on my list (but the first half of season 1 was uneven) but it’s an episode that means a lot to me because it sort of changed to way I was looking at the show and my thoughts about it. I honestly started watching the 100 after the Lesbian Batsignal, aka the kiss scene between Clarke & Lexa that was all over my dash. I was expecting a cheesy teen drama in a post-apocalyptic setting and ... well basically I was only in it for the pretty girls kissing. Then this episode happened and punched me in the face and told me I was an idiot and that this show had A LOT to offer. It was shocking but not gratuitous, set the tone and basically yelled at you OH YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO HAVE FUN WATCHING OUR SHOW WELL THINK AGAIN MOTHERFUCKER AND TAKE ALL THE FEELS. After this episode, I was hooked. 

6. Gimme Shelter (4.07)

It’s a slightly uneventful episode but it gives us a lot of beautiful, quiet moments between the characters and let them shine. Emori, Clarke, Abby, Kane and Bellamy are at their best there, their interactions are heavy and meaningful and the writing is subtle and intense. The best this season, so far.

7. Unity Day (1.09)

I’m very fond of this episode mostly because it made me aware of the potential in terms of world building for the show the first time I saw it. Season 1 was very much about adaptation and survival, and even flirted with the survival horror genre when the characters interacted with the grounders. Introducing Anya and that amazing negociation scene between her and Clarke on the bridge basically told the viewers that there was a lot of story potential behind our main character’s enemies and that their world was way bigger than we thought. This episode is also Clarke’s first steps in her role of leader, as in political leader, and it’s really important for the character and her future evolution on the show.

8. We Will Rise (4.06)

Overall I think season 4 has been slightly underwhelming so far. Not bad or anything, and we get some amazing character stuff, so I’m not complaining, but before this episode we had lots of strong episodes that never completely managed to impress me. The Tinder Box nearly did it, especially with its fantastic final sequence, but the Riley stuff dragged down an otherwise great episode. So We Will Rise happens and it’s action packed, makes the character move in different directions : Kane retakes his place as chancellor, Clarke joins her mother on Team Science, Bellamy starts to do some serious thinking about his relationship with his sister, hell even Jaha and Octavia start to evolve. This episode felt exciting when I first watched it and it made me feel great about the potential for the rest of the season. 

9. Thirteen (3.07)

It’s a polarizing episode. Because Lexa. And ... ok, I loved Lexa, truthfully, and I loved her relationship with Clarke, like I said earlier, they’re the reason I started watching the 100. Was I sad that she died ? Yes. Was I angry ? Meh ... not really. Of all the LGBT characters killed off by the TV gods, I think Lexa’s death is very low on my pissed-off-meter. Her character was well developed, her death served a purpose (literally nothing in the second half of season 3 can happen without her death) and let’s be real, she would have never become a regular on the show due to ADC’s schedule. I get why people were angry, and I’m glad it was discussed heavily on social medias etc (I would have prefered a more civil tone in these discussions but ... oh well it’s fandom). 

But regardless of what you think of her death, Thirteen was a great episode in terms of world building and storytelling. We have amazing scenes with Becca, answers as to how the world ended, the nature of the Commander, and just tons of fantastic ideas and new information. The episode gave us also an interesting scene between Clarke and O, showing a new side of Octavia ‘Speak with My Fist’ Blake who tries to manipulate Clarke and appeal to her emotions and shows that’s she’s way smarter and sneakier than she allows herself to be (that side of her showed up again this season when she started her assassin shtick. More of that for Octavia in the future maybe ? It’s interesting). So yeah, great episode, that I think people overlook because of the Lexa drama.

10. Bodyguard of Lies (2.14)

A very solid episode but what makes it go on my top episodes list is the kiss between Clarke and Lexa. Their interactions were really intense in this episode, all the stuff with Clarke and Octavia was brilliant, and it’s the episode that made me start watching the show. Also, I don’t care if you shipped Clarke and Lexa or not, if you thought their love story was interesting or bad, the pairing healthy or unhealthy, etc, the fact is that it mattered. It mattered to have the main character on a CW show be bisexual, and fall in love for another girl. It changed the show and it was amazing.

Special Mentions : Perverse Instantiation Part 1 (3.15) : action-packed, intense, and wonderfully crafted, Echoes (4.01) : a very solid start for season 4, too bad the stuff following was a little bit underwhelming, and Human Trials (2.05) : for that massacre scene with Finn at the end, CHILLS.

THIS WAS LONG SORRY.

I tag @rashaka, @butterfly-and-hurricanes, @novalian, @mego42, @falafel14

[austennerdita2533]

accidental-rambler replied to your post “45. “You look pretty hot in plaid.” + Nessian; PRETTY PLEASEEEE <3”

"a cocky, provoking little shit like him" LMAOO where is the though?!

haha, batlight distracting Nesta from sleep with its IMPRESSIVE WINGSPAN HAHAHA

*chuckling forever* Ashlee, this was short, sweet and hilarious and it brought me so much joy, thank you! I really really love how you wrote them here!

Yay, yay, yayyyyy! I’m so happy you liked it, Kate! 

It’s been a while since I wrote something particularly absurd (and I haven’t for Nessian yet), so this was oh-so-cathartic. Especially because the whole thing sprung from my desire to find an excuse to use a Batsignal gif somewhere in the middle of it haha. 

Where do I get these ideas, honestly!?

[mozillogames]

Everything is Awesome When You’re Part of a Team in The Lego Batman Movie

Wait, wrong film. Sort of. I mean, the message still runs through the Lego Batman Movie, but then that’s almost the message of every U rated film. But hot damn, is it a good film. Also, this totally works to be posted here because there’s a Lego Batman Movie expansion in Lego Dimensions, so it is still related to games somehow, I’m not just desperately grasping at straws for excuses to talk about films.

Going to the cinema to see a U rated film is a sad reminder that children actually still exist. It was once we got into the trailers for upcoming films that I remembered the film was a U, as well as there being a loud and annoying 4 year old next to me who wouldn’t stop trying to offer me popcorn. I mean, The Boss Baby? Cinema truly is dead.

ANYWAY, The Lego Batman Movie is possibly the best Batman Movie that has ever existed. It’s self aware enough to repeatedly mock superhero movies and the comics themselves, making repeated references to previous iterations of Batman, hailing back to Adam West and his Bat-Shark Repellent. The number of small references to Batmans of the past are fast, numerous and wondrous. For me this was cemented in an interaction between The Joker and another character (I can’t fully remember) which made fun of Joker’s actions in The Dark Knight, saying how his LAST big plan was foiled so simply, as well as Bane.

Every single time that Bane spoke a line my friends and I burst out laughing. Why? They decided to keep his weird The Dark Knight Rises voice and it was magical. That’s one of the greatest strengths of The Lego Batman Movie. There’s enough Batman references and in-jokes that work on numerous levels allowing for anyone to understand and enjoy, unless you’re a child, in which you’ll just stick your hand in my side for about 10 minutes, as you have no control of your faculties and I don’t feel right moving his hand, as that’s a whole kettle of fish I don’t want to get into.

The jokes are numerous and works really well on just smuggling them in on off beats. Sometimes it’ll be a big picture of Batman’s nipple suit from Batman Forever that flashes up for a single second, if that, or just a small remark about surrogate fathers to Alfred. Because of these offbeat jokes, the film doesn’t feel overly fast paced and difficult to focus on, which I realise makes me sound like an old man. Instead, there are wonderfully slow and silent scenes that manage to put a point across almost perfectly.

The characterisation of Batman is near perfect, making him this nihilistic manchild who is too busy being awesome to mope around brooding about darkness or something. This level of arrogance works so well with Batman, as it makes so much sense as he’s near unbeatable anyway and in this universe he’s aware of it, much to the hatred of everyone else. When the advice to the new commissioner is “They just need to know how to press the Batsignal button”, it acts as a wonderful acknowledgement that Gotham City’s police force is near useless and just shouldn’t exist.

Generally, it’d be hard to mention every single moment I greatly enjoyed, as there are so many throughout the film, but I generally had a big grin on my face through the entire film.

Moments that I did find a struggle involved the fast moving action sequences, where the faux stop motion effects they put in place, as well as the sheer volume of “effect bricks” did lead to it just being a jumble of colours and bricks from time to time, but at the same time I’m sort of annoyed by just how well it worked. Small things like the gun noises all being essentially made through people saying “bang bang bang” as if it were a child’s play session worked surprisingly well. The level of detail was so good it annoyed me at times. On the lego people there was an ever so slight wearing around the edges of their body where the body decal didn’t go all the way to the corners, or the tiny little circle on their hand joints that honestly don’t need to be there in the film, but they are and that level of detail is incredible. As well as really annoying because of it, an annoyance of admiration.

Overall it’s yet another film that proves big, and good, children’s films aren’t at all really for children. The child next to me had no grasp of the Phantom Zone, let alone the rest of the plot, fucking idiot. I stand by my earlier statements that it’s the best Batman film available and it’s genuinely quite the hoot. Go see it! Maybe with some friends, as there will still be a lot of children there and being a grown adult by yourself in a children’s film could probably look a bit suspicious, even if those dumb dumb single digiters don’t understand what’s going on, or the finesse of Adam West’s Batman.

[britesparc]

Weekend Top Ten #297

Top Ten Batman Costumes (Live-Action Edition)

To celebrate the release of Justice League, I present a two-part examination of Batman’s costumes through the years. What works, what doesn’t, what I like best. Here, to kick it off, my favourite Batman costumes, as worn by well-paid dudes in various live-action appearances.

Holy moulded rubber nipples, Batman!

The Dark Knight (2008): I don't think there's ever been a "perfect" batsuit on film. Not even close. This suit deviates quite substantially from the comic, but in doing so, it creates the best ever look on film. Utilitarian, well-realised, with a strong silhouette and – for once – looking like a costume someone could fight in. It's a pity its design minimises the importance of the bat symbol on his chest, but at least Batman can turn his head. Also: I'll never be keen on the whole "black eyes" thing. Give him lenses in his cowl, for goodness' sake.

Batman Begins (2005): the original Nolan-verse batsuit is surprisingly close to the comics. It's probably the best "traditional" interpretation of the comic suit yet seen: close-fitting rather than segmented armour, with a moulded cowl that mimics the traditional silhouette of Batman. The downside, of course, is that poor Chrisie Bale can't turn his head, and ends up with a stupidly thick neck. He still has the dark makeup round his eyes, which I continue to find silly.

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016): this costume is so close to being perfect it's frustrating. What lets it down, to me, is that unlike the two costumes above, it feels like it's designed to look cool but not function. It looks rubbery, it has the awful moulded neck again, and it just looks kinda fake; like a movie costume but not a "real" uniform, so to speak. Now all the negativity's out of the way, let's just say: it's a practical realisation of the comic book, and as such, it's great. Grey, bit black bat-sign, gloves and cape... it's a cool look! Just wish they'd made it look a bit more "real". Also: still with the mascara.

Batman Returns (1992): obviously the Burton films are iconic in a lot of ways, and the redesign of the batsuit is just as influential as everything else. Darkening proceedings – deemed necessary following Batman's pop culture association with camp – the suit is all-black and clearly armoured, coming across as moulded rubber or plastic. However, despite being black and not grey, it's surprisingly faithful in style to the comics, including the belt, gloves, and yellow oval. But like it’s Batman predecessor suit, it’s got that stiff rubber neck which gives us the “Batman turn”. And Mickie Keaton is still wearing mascara, which inexplicably is suggested to be part of his mask when he tears his cowl off at the end of the film.

Batman (1966): obviously aiming for a certain style, the suit worn by Addie West is a joy to behold. Bright and colourful, as befits the show itself, it allows for a great deal of freedom of movement. One imagines West could probably dress himself, whereas other Bat actors (Bactors?) most likely needed a coterie of costume assistants to lever various rubber accoutrements onto their bodies. Loses some points because this is, quite frankly, a very silly costume for Batman to wear, neither offering stealth nor protection. But – and it's a doozy – despite the accusations of campery, West is the only Batman NOT to wear mascara. Really this alone should have put him at number one.

Batman (1989): basically the same as the Batman Returns suit but for some reason they bodged the Batsign first time round. I mean, how did they manage that? It's the right Batsign on the cover. In the title sequence. Why did the give the bat on his costume those stupid extra pointy bits? Plus he's got panda eyes, the big dope.

Batman v Superman armoured batsuit (2015): a broadly very faithful and very impressive adaptation of the suit from The Dark Knight Returns, the story Dawn of Justice wishes it were telling but utterly misunderstands at every point. Weirdly he probably has more manoeuvrability in his neck here than when he’s in his normal suit. Also scores bonus points for being mostly CG, apparently. Loses points for being the suit worn during the awful "Martha" scene. Gains those points back again because – huzzah! - Benny Affleck isn't smothered in mascara when we get a peek under the cowl.

Batman Forever (1995): a refinement, one supposes, of the Returns suit. It's a bit sleeker, I guess, but somehow doesn't hang together quite as well. The hints of costumes to come are starting to creep in at the edges; it's starting to become too over-designed, with ridiculous contoured muscles and a bulging codpiece. The fact that, by the film's end, Valley Kilmer is wearing a new costume that's a tad more colourful and somewhat more elaborate in design is indicative of the direction the series was heading. Still with the crap neck. Plus he's got them black eyes again.

Justice League (2017): perhaps I'm being a bit harsh judging this suit, as it's from a film that is not (at time of writing) actually out yet, and which I'm likely not going to see until nearly December. But from the stills and the trailer, it's a refinement of the Dawn of Justice costume, except they've made it a bit worse. To be fair, it looks slightly less like rubber muscle suit, but the darker tone does it no favours (making the bat harder to distinguish) and the "plating" effect looks like a half-hearted compromise between Nolan-esque realism and comics fealty. And my dude is still a panda.

Justice League (2017) – tactical batsuit: perhaps I'm being even harsher, as I've hardly seen any of this suit. The "armoured" effect is more pronounced, but in doing so it's an improvement over the "standard" Justice League suit, as it's no longer a middle-ground fudge. But it feels like a step back from the attempts at comics fealty to make something that's Nolan-esque but substantially worse; if they wanted an armoured suit but not a full-on mech-affair like Dawn of Justice, looking at the superior Arkham games would have been a better bet. I mean, he still can’t turn his head, for Christ’s sake. And although Bats finally – finally! - has lenses in his cowl, they look a bit weird and square and crap. It's been compared dismissively to Nite Owl's suit from Snyder's Watchmen, which is a bit unfair (especially as Nite Owl's was one of the better costumes in that film), but I can kinda see it. And despite the lenses, it looks like they've still made poor sad Benny Affleck poke black gunk into his eyes. Geeze, Batman, what's up with that?  

Incidentally, of course – of course - I remember that bit in The Dark Knight where he activates his sonar-vision or whatever it is and his eyes go white. It's a cool bit. But it's one tiny moment. I still think, in this day and age of Spidery-Men and Irony-Men with their full-face masks, we'd buy a Batman who had some kind of lenses or goggles in his cowl that slid away to reveal his eyes, but without the silly black mascara painted around them. Or, y'know, if we are saying that he puts this makeup on to help darken his eyes or reinforce his disguse, then don't shy away from it. Don't pretend it's not real, like Batman Returns does.