#this list is so all over the place lol
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Hi again....Do you mind if I ask your top 10 favorite characters (can be male or female) from all of the media that you loved (can be anime/manga, books, movies or tv series)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....Thanks....
I'm going to split them up between my favorite male and female characters, because there's just too many!
I'll start with the boys:
Laurent from Captive Prince- Laurent is my favorite character of all time. Everything about him just comes together in a perfect storm. His humor. His cast iron bitch attitude. The way he puts up armor to protect himself but lowers it when he's surrounded by people who actually care about him. The way his trauma is handled. And I'm fully aware the reason I love him so much is because we see him through Damen's eyes. We start out seeing a spoiled brat, and we learn the truth of him slowly. I can't even find the words to describe how much I love him and why.
The rest aren't in any particular order:
L from Death Note- The first anime character I was obsessed with, because he was one of the weirdest characters I'd ever encountered but somehow he shared all my habits. He sits like I do. He eats tons of sugar, like me. He's bad at social interaction, like me. And (spoilers!) he was one of the first characters with a death that truly impacted me emotionally. I'm totally showing my age, but I will always love this ridiculous trash panda.
Xie Lian from Heaven Official's Blessing- It might be recency bias, but he has skyrocketed to my top favorite characters list. I have a weakness for characters who have gone through hardship and come out smiling no matter what, and damn if that isn't Xie Lian. He really shows the highest of the highs and the lowest of the lows in humanity, but he still believes everyone deserves to be cared for. He's also absolutely hilarious, and I love the dichotomy of having this (formerly) insanely strong martial god be so mild mannered and polite (most times).
Izaya Orihara from Durarara- And so begins my love of absolute shitheads. I don't have an explanation for this. I just love the idea of an information broker in a big city who knows everything about everyone and uses it to stir up trouble. And of course I love his flippant attitude that can change on a dime (and his extremely homoerotic relationship with Shizuo). I appreciate characters who always have something up their sleeves.
Wylan Van Eck from Six of Crows- Similarly to Xie Lian, I love Wylan because of the dichotomy of his character. He can be so mild mannered and shy one moment, and the next he's making bombs and threatening to drown his romantic rival in a river. He's also the only YA character I can think of with dyslexia (aside from Percy Jackson characters, who are technically middle grade), and I'm glad that it never gets associated with him being "stupid." Wylan is smart as hell while also being sensitive and creative.
Magnus Bane from the Shadowhunters series- Probably the funniest character I've ever encountered. A chaotic bisexual warlock who insists he doesn't want to help but ends up helping anyway while complaining the whole time? Sign me up. He's fashionable. He's powerful. He's a father of two and a crazy uncle to everyone else. He's everything. Alec is just Ken 😆.
Jim Hawkins from Treasure Planet- My forever boy. The protagonist that aided in my asexual awakening. I loved having a main character in a children's movie that was dealing with his angsty teenage years in a realistic way AND DIDN'T END UP WITH A ROMANTIC INTEREST WHO SOLVED ALL HIS PROBLEMS. He's reckless, but he's also very smart and cares about doing things right.
Fushi from To Your Eternity- (technically more like nonbinary or even gender fluid, but he mostly identifies as male so I use he/him a lot). Another take on an immortal character that I love! I love that we see him learn how to become human from scratch and how he forges relationships with people throughout hundreds of years. I was debating about whether to put Bon or Kohaku on here instead, but I think Fushi and his journey will stick with me longer.
Nico di Angelo from the Percy Jackson series- This is a character I feel like I've grown up with. He was one of the first canonically gay book characters I'd ever seen (this was back when queer characters in YA were almost unheard of, let alone in middle grade books). But Nico was one of my favorites even before the reveal. I loved seeing how he went from a nerdy, hyperactive kid to a brooding pre-teen to mellowing out the way he is now. I'm a sucker for the mysterious side characters that show up every now and then to make the audience wonder if they're really on our side (especially ones with really dry humor).
Now the girls!
(Uh...spoiler alert I guess) Akito Sohma from Fruits Basket- My favorite anime villain of all time. Part of why I love her is because of the build up. For a long time, we only hear about Akito, and we don't know what to think about her. Then we meet her, and she seems...off, but the characters all have different reactions to her. And then we learn how fucked up she is. She's a great example of a character who does awful things, gets a tragic backstory and a slight hint of a redemption arc, but it doesn't change how the audience views her. Her backstory helps you understand her, but you never really forgive her for the shit she's done. She's manipulative, abusive (in every way you can think of), creepy as hell, and yet I still love her because she's insanely entertaining whenever she's around.
Daria Morgendorffer from Daria- This character was basically me in high school, in both looks and mannerisms. I molded my entire personality after her. I love characters with dry humor and I still quote this show relentlessly to this day. Daria was for all the girls who felt like total outcasts because they spent their time reading instead of making friends, but she also showed that you kind of need other people to...well...not be depressed. Also, it might not be explicitly canon that she's asexual, but there is an entire episode revolving around how she's doesn't want to have sex with her boyfriend...so do with that what you will.
Emma from The Promised Neverland- READ THE MANGA I'M BEGGING YOU! My insanely smart, redheaded mastermind of a daughter is such a great main character. I love having a young girl who is cheerful and optimistic while also kicking ass the same way shounen protagonists do. She's so friendly and hopeful that even though the story is super grim, we want to believe she can find a solution to every problem even when it seems impossible. Such a shame we never got a season two...wonder what that would have been like....ha...ha...ha................
Inej Ghafa from Six of Crows- I was trying to keep myself from using characters in the same series, but I couldn't help it. She's just so well written. She's badass. She's vulnerable. She's smart. She puts so much stock in faith but it doesn't make her weak or evil. She ties the group together so well, and she and Kaz are so ace coded it hurts!
Yona from Akatsuki no Yona- I haven't finished the manga yet, but she's another great example of a perfect character arc. Yona starts out as a typical teenage princess. She was never mean or a bad person, but she was selfish in the way most spoiled teenagers are selfish in that she didn't think about the world outside her palace walls or anyone besides the guy she liked. But when she's forced to run for her life, she sobers up and sees the world for what it is very quickly. And instead of relying on others to do things for her, she learns to fight and helps the people of her country the best she can. She's a character who we learn with and grow to love over time.
Kino from Kino's Journey- Definitely one of the most interesting characters I've ever seen, and I mean that in the sense that we don't know much about her at all (until the end of the 2017 anime at least). She is a great example of a solitary character who still loves interacting with people. She's not insanely smart. She's not a badass bitch (she can defend herself and fight because she has to, but she's not a fighter). She's not magical or the chosen one. She's just an average person who wants to experience as much of the world as possible.
Yuuko from xxxHolic- idk what to say about her, she's just the best. She's got chaotic wine aunt energy for days, but she's also got this hidden Dumbledore-esque wisdom and tragedy under her fabulous outfits. I feel like her and Magnus Bane would be best friends.
Katniss Everdeen from The Hunger Games- People who've only watched the movies will never understand. Her dry humor and rough around the edges personality are just so well written, but so many people relegate her as a stereotypical "girlboss" YA protagonist in a love triangle. She's brave. She's funny in subtle ways. She's kind of an asshole but not in an off-putting way. I like Katniss because everything about her feels so genuine. Her love for her family and the way she deals with the world around her are so...real. And I think that's why so many people connected to the series. READ THE BOOKS!
Luna Lovegood from Harry Potter- I don't care if it's cringe, I was fucking obsessed with her in middle school. Again, I'm drawn to characters that have experienced trauma but still come out smiling. I think Luna helped a lot of people who didn't fit in feel more at home in the world. She's fun, she's kind to the people who need it the most, and she's a great friend who helped save the world!
Linda Belcher from Bob's Burgers- This might seem like a silly pick, but I just love her spirit! She's the ultimate mother figure and supportive wife who also has a distinct personality with wants and dreams of her own. So often, moms in cartoons (or anything really) are relegated to being support or a background character for their husbands or kids, but Linda demands a starring role. She loves her kids and her husband and will go to the ends of the earth for them, but they also frustrate her in a very human way. Episode 1 of the new season shows her breaking down in tears because she just doesn't know how to manage the kids, and I think that's something a lot of parents probably go through. I'm not a parent or a spouse, but her struggles and general mom energy feel so real.
There you have it. I really wanted to put a Vinland Saga character on the list, but Thorfinn, Canute, and Askeladd are all so well written I couldn't decide on one, so I had to leave them out 😅
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the place me and my roommate were supposed to move into today was so disgusting and uninhabitable we just took our stuff and left and now we're gonna be staying at airbnbs and hotels until further notice/until we can find a new place hopefully quickly...........im in my homeless drifter era y'all!!!😍😍so if im not as active then thats why LMFAO
1 like = 1 prayer
#bro was literally trying to rent us a silent hill apartment#we already paid first and last too which was 2700k and he said hes not gonna refund us EVEN THO WE DIDNT EVEN MOVE IN!!#like first month i get BUT NOT EVEN THE SECOND MONTH?? all landlords go to hell#looking back at the og listing like.....yeah i can see why he never took pics of the outside......literally looks like a landfill😃#we're SO LUCKY that uhaul allowed us to keep our things stored with them bc if they insisted on our shit still being dropped off#we woulda been so screwed/forced to move in and then would have had to hire ANOTHER uhaul to move back OUT lol#AND I HATE MOVING the idea of unloading all of our stuff just to pack it again literally makes me wanna perish#but even tho i may be a homeless drifter rn that wont stop me from also working on my oneshot between searching for places😍#the oneshot has a smut scene at the beginning LMAO and smut takes me forever to write so id been putting it off#but now that im over that hump (pun intended) i think ill be faster now brrrrrrrrrrr 9k words so far#its probs gonna be like 40k LMFAO maybe longer... idek#but also ill be hella busy trying to find a home so LMFAO who knows...chat im so fucking TIREDDDDD🧎♀️🧎♀️#my moms trying to see if she can fight him and get our money back but it aint lookin good bros#if i randomly open commissions then youll also know why LMAO
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i might just be pulling this out of my ass but i feel like terezi and gamzee really did a lot of damage to how people see pitch relationships
and i get it, terezi and gamzee’s relationship was basically everything people say about pitch relationships. it was abusive, horrible, and enabled by everyone around them
but they’re also not the only pitch relationship we see in the comic, or even the only pitch relationship we see terezi get into
and they’re not even the only abusive and/or toxic relationship we see by far, and plenty of those weren’t pitch
#idk i feel like a lot of the arguments i see for why pitch romance is toxic apply to terezi and gamzee specifically#and not really to anyone else#and it kind of ignores the fact that homestuck is a comic filled to the brim with terrible relationships#say what you will about vriska (she got way too much hate)#but vriska and tavros was an abusive situation#and even if they were all over the place when it comes to quadrants#ultimately vriska wanted him red and it was red feelings she was dealing with#similarly dirkjake is red#say what you will about that shit too#and whether you think they can patch that up or not or who was at fault or whatever#i’m not asking for a five page essay on how dirk was perfect or how dirk was the devil lol#but they were a mess#and they were also very much red#aranea and jake#vriska and meenah#meulin and kurloz arent dating anymore but were red#honestly there are too many examples with the dancestors you get what i mean by this point#there are so many examples i can list#and also examples of good or at least not toxic pitch relationships i could list#but these tags are already way too long#i think ultimately#hussie probably just likes the drama of a bad relationship#so there are tons of them#which is fair lol
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Something is cooking in my brain about cinephile in black and white vs I'm just a paperweight in shades of greige idk
#should add this to the long list of drafts that will never get done lol#like I am truly sick of hearing myself (or seeing myself) talk so I feel like everyone else must be too 😂#and also my brain is all over the place these days
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I can’t stop drawing tiny Watchdogs (Patreon)
#Doodles#Wander Over Yonder#Commander Peepers#Watchdog#Newsflash: They are all tiny#They're such perfect spacefillers I swear <3 <3 <3 No hells boxes here#They're all basically just stick figures with eyes in place of the head lol what more could I ask for#Or in the case of Fist Fighters then the obvious lol#Even if I do also already have some stick figures that I enjoy lol - they keep the page on-theme! Very important! Haha#Gave a go to a regular Watchdog to go with my Fist Fighter and hmmm yes this feels attainable lol - just gotta give 'em both names#They are very cute and sweet ♥#An actual full-style(? Full WOY style? Lol) for Peepers and a regular Watchdog!#Although afterwards I looked and I'm. Hm. There's conflicting information out there and I'm not sure what to believe#On the wiki he's listed as being shorter than most other Watchdogs but I did a quick screenshot comparison in The It and he was taller??#Not just taller - his eye was bigger - and I accounted for distance! The regular Watchdog was in front of him by just a few inches!#It's inconsistent enough for me to argue either way honestly#And all that not counting what Wander does to his shoes lol so all in all he's probably Slightly taller than the Watchdogs with his shoes on#Not counting special members like Moose or the Drill Sergeant - and definitely not Westley he's super tiny haha#Honestly surprised Peepers didn't take advantage of their height difference more he's a bit of a bully ♪#Rest abound as being silly little guys :) I do love how they're so easy to draw ''in colour'' haha#Red on black on red on black ♫ I suppose I could add in a yellow but pfsh don't even talk to me about the dark purple/red combo inside lol#Maybe at some point but I like them at full lighting for ease of colours haha#Cutest lads <3 Love 'em
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9 books I plan to read in 2025!
I was tagged by @leofrith <3
Omeros by Derek Walcott
I technically started this in the last week of December '24 but I'm putting it here because I'm less than 20% through it =] so far I think I might be too unfamiliar with the Greek tragedies to "get it" but I'm pushing through nonetheless.
A poem in five books, of circular narrative design, titled with the Greek name for Homer, which simultaneously charts two currents of history: the visible history charted in events -- the tribal losses of the American Indian, the tragedy of African enslavement -- and the interior, unwritten epic fashioned from the suffering of the individual in exile
Chernobyl: History of a Tragedy by Serhii Plokhy
In Chernobyl, award-winning historian Serhii Plokhy draws on recently opened archives to recreate these events in all their drama. A moment by moment account of the heroes, perpetrators and victims of a tragedy, Chernobyl is the first full account of a gripping, unforgettable Cold War story.
Operation Columba: The Secret Pigeon Service by Gordon Corera
The fascinating, untold story of how British intelligence secretly used homing pigeons as part of a clandestine espionage operation to gather information, communicate, and coordinate with members of the Resistance to defeat the Nazis in occupied Europe during World War II.
Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah
The explosive, hotly-anticipated debut novel from the New York Times-bestselling author of Friday Black, about two top women gladiators fighting for their freedom within a depraved private prison system not so far-removed from America’s own.
Babel-17 by Samuel R. Delaney
Sabotage threatens to undermine the war effort, and the military calls in Rydra. Random attacks lay waste to warships, weapons factories, and munitions dumps, and all are tied together by strings of sound, broadcast over the radio before and after each accident. In that gibberish Rydra recognizes a coherent message, with all of the beauty, persuasive power, and order that only language possesses. To save humanity, she will master this strange tongue. But the more she learns, the more she is tempted to join the other side . . .
The Cartographers by Peng Shepherd
From the critically acclaimed author of The Book of M, a highly imaginative thriller about a young woman who discovers that a strange map in her deceased father’s belongings holds an incredible, deadly secret—one that will lead her on an extraordinary adventure and to the truth about her family’s dark history. What is the purpose of a map?
The Rover by Mel Odom
Edgewick Lamplighter (Wick to his friends) is a humble librarian in the isolated halls of Greydawn Moors until dreams of wanderlust and a bit of dereliction in his duties result in his being shanghaied to a far-off land.
New and Selected Poems Vol II by Mary Oliver
This graceful volume, designed to be paired with New and Selected Poems, Volume One, includes new poems on birds, toads, flowers, insects, bodies of water, and the extraordinary experience of the everyday in our lives. In the words of Alicia Ostriker, 'Mary Oliver moves by instinct, faith, and determination. She is among our finest poets, and still growing.' In both the older and new poems, Mary Oliver is a poet at the height of her control of image and language.
Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
Tamsyn Muir's Gideon the Ninth unveils a solar system of swordplay, cut-throat politics, and lesbian necromancers. Her characters leap off the page, as skillfully animated as arcane revenants. The result is a heart-pounding epic science fantasy.
I tag @sh5 @stormikins @aesnawan @woahpip @dykefagz and anybody else who wants to do it! Feel free to tag me!
#also no pressure if you dont want to of course! i just think these are fun#also feel free to add me on storygraph im byrdies on there!#trying to read more nonfiction + clear out books i own but havent read yet this year while still leaving room for spontaneity#and working thru the tbr list#like making reading a hobby i focus on but not so structured as to be unenjoyable :-)#that being said this list is a bit all over the place ajdjsjd you get a true sampling of my interest#in practice they skew more heavily towards scifi and fantasy tho lol
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Lale !! <33333 I hope you're doing well love!!!! It's your turn for some infiltration and I have a few people on your list!!! Namely, Oikawa, Omi, Osamu! :D
in the most sfw way possible I think Oikawa likes taking showers together and gets a watterfall shower head so you can both be warm at the same time
I think he does complain about the temp you set though
is your hair long? yes, but he loves washing it for you because it just feels so intimate to him
Now- guys
Argentina Oikawa??? oh yes oh my
He hears through the grapevine that you like the look of gold jewelry against tan skin
Now, he naturally starts getting a tan and then asks Iwa for advice on jewelry and gets rings and necklaces
I think he likes thin jewelry not chunky
He always has a hairtie or scrunchie on his wrist methinks because he likes tying your hair for you!!!!
Calls your terms of endearment in Spanish! :D
Okay Sakusa time !!!
Now, as mentioned in the discord he doesn't bring up marriage until after he retires
Now he has the horrible though of dying his hair when he gets his first grey streak and you have to fight thee hair dye out of his hand
Keeps his hair longer because he likes the feeling of your nails scratching his scalp
Calls you "dumbass and idiot" in an affectionate way. Like his voice is always warm when he says it even though he's sighing
I don't think he's a big pda person but I think if he's jealous that all goes out the window
He's grabbing you and pulling you close and kissing you in front of the person
the gentleman that he is he always holds your door open for you
Loves neck kisses
giving or receiving he doesn't care, although receiving them makes him shiver a little ngl
Wants to cry /pos when you kiss the moles on his forehead
Osamu time guys!!! <33
When you accidentally like run into things he'll llaugh a little bit and go "make sure to watch where you're going darling." and holds your hand
Okay food safety? Idk what that is
He has a carnal urge to pull you into the dry storage and make out with you in there
He comes out with his lips red and puffy from kissing you and you come out with hickeys on your neck
do I think he has tattoos? yes one, it's matching with you and I think he got it over his heart and it's a lily and you got a Lavendar since it's the companion plant of lilies <3 :3
I think he has messy handwriting to the point where it's really hard to tell what he's writing because he writes it so quick
When the two of you are laying in bed he traces words on your back and makes you guess (usually just repeats 'I love you')
can only look at you with a lovesick gaze lol
I used your own list against you mawahaha <3 I hope you enjoyed these, more to come for your birthday more than likely <3 :D
-lots of love Kai <3
how this message found me
#how dare. how dare use my own list against me lmao. ily but also. let me throttle you (lovingly)#now. you didn't have to get so personal but you did. huh. sorry i had to stare into space for a solid 10 hours after reading what you wrote#you really had to bring all 3 of them huh?? HUH?#we will not talk about tan oikawa with fine gold jewelry (matching with mine). we will not. get him away from me!!#you didn't have to bring up jealous omi but you sure did. you sure did. sorry my brain shut down#omi with the gray streaks 🗣️ this is something very personal to me#how did you know i'm prone to running into things. i think osamu would do the thing where he covers edges with his hand#so i won't smash my head again. yeah he's the type to do so#look what you've done to me. i'm selfshipping on main again. head in my hands#i'll pull him in the dry storage and show him something that isn't dr-(gun shots)#personally i'm not a big fan of lilies (don't like the smell lol) so i think he has a tulip tattoo 🙂↕️ but over the heart is a good place#historians will try to decipher our love letters because we can't write neatly for our lives#it's hieroglyphics for everyone but us#now. no one talk to me for a week i will think about all of this for a while. kai you're insane /pos#-`♡´- ask#-`♡´- selfship#-`♡´- kai
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Italian-Americans truly are God's greatest himbos
#On a more serious note I actually did feel my heart drop when I saw the Back Mechanic on his book list#I bought that for a friend of mine *while* he was in the process of being actively fucked over by health insurance and was in agony bc of i#He spent years unable to access treatment for a fully treatable condition that was rendering him unable to leave his home#And im not at all surprised at the vague libertarian ancappish politics having been in that place once myself lol#When so much of what it means to be a man with agency in capitalist america rests on you being able-bodied#It's only a surprise more grindset guys do not logically conclude they should attack people *actually* in their way#Really puts into perspective how hard our society actively redirects people into punching down or sideways#That someone lashing out managing to actually hit who hurt him and others for once feels so exceptional
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fanfic rambling in the tags, nothing interesting really, just me talking to myself lol, okay to ignore or read as you please ✨
#so i've found the perfect prompt list for an olli/allu fic advent calendar sorta thing#but i'm too intimidated by my own expectations and ridiculously high standards to even start writing any of them 😭#honestly these prompts are so insanely cute and fit olli/allu PERFECTLY#like. i'm actually having trouble deciding which ones to use because i want to write them all 🥺💞#but i'm so so scared that i'll just end up writing the same (boring) story over again for 24 times 😔#i wish i could just write without thinking and trying so hard to write a literary masterpiece#when i KNOW it's alright if it's just a silly little story about my blorbos#that's perfectly enough and i know this but my brain's just not having it 😩#also if i were to write 24 independent fics i'd have to keep them short and simple but. that's not how i do fics. unfortunately (for me)#to overcome this i guess one option would be to write just one longer piece with 24 chapters#and somehow try to include the prompt of the day in each chapter 🤔#but i don't want to make this even more complicated to myself lol especially because i'm planning to write AUs for a couple of the prompts#i REALLY want to do prompts (of any kind!!) but i'm just so scared of stressing myself out to another months-long writer's block 😭#fair enough the last time that happened (last winter/spring) i was in a shitty place mentally anyway#and so far i've been happy to be writing on random bursts of inspiration. that's how it's the easiest for me. the words just...flow out#i'm so insanely jealous of anyone who can just create stuff when given any prompt 😭#y'all are super humans to me how do you do it pls spill your secrets#and anyone tempted to comfort me by saying i shouldn't stress myself over this and that i don't have to write anything i don't wanna write:#i knoooooowwww and i appreactiate the sentiment but the thing is i actually DO want to write these prompts 😭#in theory at least. because they really are cute as fuck wth 🥺#the problem is that i can't /force/ myself to write something at the snap of my fingers without a clear idea besides the prompt#and also because i know it can take me days to finish even one story let alone 24 💀#so to even START on this project is a little intimidating 🫣#i just fear i won't have the patience :(#and when i realise i won't be able to finish the project i'll become frustrated with myself#if only i knew how to write shorter one-scenes in order to not tire myself out#but often i find those kind of fics somehow...unsatisfying :(#i'm just a sucker for crafting the context/background for stories. a little flesh around the bones if you will 🤧#okay that's all now i'm gonna go stare at a wall while doing nothing useful for the rest of the weekend byeeee#if you read this far i hope you're having a nice saturday
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top 3 music reccommendations go
Hakugin/Snow by EVE
Somebody's Baby (Sidney Gish cover)
The Knack by Mother Mother
#youd make me the happiest puppy on earth if u listen to these and tell me what u think#i tend to get tired of the same songs and my taste is all over the place so i dont have solid favorites all the time lol#but ive consistently enjoyed these ones. especially EVE and Sidney Gish's stuff cause im a fan of both their work#outsider and tokyo ghetto by EVE are popular but id also recommend Leo and Avant#id also highly recommend the rest of sidney gishs no dogs allowed especially imposter syndrome and not but for you bunny#homecoming serf and buckets of fun are also fun to listen to!! what do you want from me tonight is also growing on me#i also found the yuri on ice soundtrack and yuri's free skate song is SOOO good its so gentle and it just tickles my brain. so nostalgic#if youre into vocaloid i also recc remote control by wonderful opportunity. giga-p's cover of electric angel also bangs#the entire minecraft volume alpha is also something i listen to if i cant think of anything else. ill stop now before the list gets too lon#yapping#ask
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It’s hitting me that I’m actually going to see Laura Jane Grace in real life this weekend……. 😳
#I’m cramming her solo stuff LOL bc tbh I’m not crazy about all of it#but her new album is really good! so that’s a good sign#the set lists seem pretty all over the place for this tour so I have no idea what she’s gonna play#which is exciting
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it was so not the point of mash and would have been jarring tbh but like rn i'm wishing father mulcahy had actually talked about religion in more than just little quips. girl what are your thoughts and what things do you like to focus on. btw
#thinking abiut this rn because i was wondering if theres any particular saints he likes but i think it was kicked off by when i was thinkin#g earlier today about. well i was thinking about heroes again. specifically about the men he grew up around and didnt want to be like and t#he places he looked to for the kind of man he did want to be (reading plato; what he saw of gentleman joe cavanaugh)#and i was thinking about the ways he differed from the other kids (who bullied him) and the kind of kid his dad wanted him to be (to me the#subtext in emphasising how much he used to sit inside reading directly before talking about going to the match with his dad is that his dad#kind of dragged him along and wanted him to be into boxing instead)#and so i was thinking about all that and in listing the plato thing and the boxing match thing. i thought about jesus and how like the chr#istian bible descibes him as gentle and kind and patient and whatnot. and how he fits into that list and like obviously one assumes he is a#role model for mulcahy. lol. but the show doesnt really go there bc thats just not the tone its not what the show is#(not complaining about that it would most likely be done sooo obnoxiously and like its literally not what i want to see on tv)#and then i was wondering about when his religion became really important for him. like given what he seems to feel about his family#and how much he doesnt talk about them. i would assume its a connection he more or less found/established as independent from them#which leads me to think of it as either something he got into later or something which was a refuge for him as a kid.#and like ive thought before about how the things he mentions in heroes Dont have to do with catholicism. and maybe thats just bc it wasn't#part of the story. or maybe its because he just wasnt really looking there for guidance and hope at that point#anyway i dont have answers to any of these questions i was simply turning them over in my head like smooth pebbles in my mouth#me.txt#mashposting#oh i got soo distracted here but ALSO the reason i was thinking about it when i made thsi post is bc i was wondering what stained glass he#likes Lol#for potential use in a joke post i might make
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#yesterday i was wandering around the campus where ive resided these last 4 years bc ive banned myself from running until my leg heals#and i was thinking like. what am i gonna miss about this place when i leave? bc im always thinking abt the things i cant wait to get away#from. and its a real short list. ill miss the palm trees bc i never get sick of seeing thrm. theyre so weird#ill miss the yucca. again bc theyre so weird looking. ill miss the way u can see where all the ants r bc in the non human populated areas#there isnt grass everywhere bc desert. ill miss that there r so many birds of prey hanging around. and the road runners and all the lil#lizards. and maybe in an abstract way ill miss being so close to the boarder bc when u live near a boarder boarders feel like bullshit#like staring down the road into another country. idk theres something i like abt that. ill probably also miss being able to run outside#all year long bc in the winter during the day all u need is a light jacket lol. where im going it gets real cold 🥶#maybe ill even miss the constant blue skies. but idk ive always liked a cloudy sky better. makes me think of home haha#ill def miss how convenient my apartment rn is. the loft bed. the low cost. the 5min walk to campus. sigh. but thats pretty much it. i#dont think ill miss anything else. im not really close with anyone. my boss was the reason i came here and she left this school in January#so thats it i guess. i think i stayed a year too long and was not well for a lot of my time here but so it goes#just gotta move to the next place. just gotta pray pray pray that i find an apartment soon. i dont even wanna say anything abt it bc im#afraid to jinx things. even tho thats irrational. like. i just gotta somehow project how good a tenant i am. im so quiet u will never see#me and i never complain abt anything bc i have brain problems. sigh. i cant wait for this transition to b over#im so so so ready to be in a new place doing new things. but at least my energy is back. im back to high energy on little sleep lol#i dont understand how my body functions lmao. somehow when i get a normal amount of sleep it's a sign that i feel awful#unrelated
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bitching abt homophobia n shit at my job in the tags o7 happy pride
#so i voluenteer at a library n work there through a 3rd party job center over the summer. ive volunteered there for like 5 yrs so i know --#--the staff there p well#anyway yeah so like last year our pride display got taken down bc someone complained. our director didnt really contest this.#our pride display got taken down again. this time with the board threatening to cut funding if we put it back up.#no contesting yet again#its literally just the corner of a 3 sided display podium with some gay books or whatever#some guy comes in and tears up our lgbt author rec list. the director removes those as well#there r 2 bi clerks and one genderqueer clerk and me! the fag gopher and she still doesnt feel it pertinent 2 stick up for the ppl who--#work there#or maybe she does right? like i want to believe she does bc ive known her for 5 maybe 6 actually years. ive gone to christmas--#parties at her house. shes been someone i can count on before and yet here she is letting us all down#bc its not just me or the gay ppl who work there right its for the ppl in my shitty fucking southern town who have basic common decency#shes someone i thought was some kind of ally HAHAH...like that term feels lame but#.....yeah yknow?#she even said shed be moving picture books with gay parents and shit into a quote quote adult matters section into the juvenile section#i assume on request of the board bc obvs being trans or gay or whatever is of course an adult matter that will taint our beautiful little#tow headed bastards#we even had the guy who requested the pride display be taken down come in today and CHECK to make sure no faggy books were out#ive been very angry about it and i just need to ...spit it up somewhere. maybe a transformers blog isnt the best place for it but whatever.#sorry about my language lol.#shes my boss and its going to be a real issue for me bc she laughed saying id have to start cleaning bathrooms this year and i legitimately#--nearly had to leave the room. like haha really funny. glad you can laugh about shit. did you know im a fucking queer.
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ooooh apparently the pjo show is out? or is it just the first episode? i'm not sure but. hm!!
#shrimp thoughts#once again i fail at being a human being because i first read a pjo book in HIGH SCHOOL yes high school#a friend i'm no longer in contact with lend me their books and i Ate them all up in like a week or so#and then i got so into it that i 1. got an english version of hoh online and 2. pre-ordered the polish version that iirc arrived before the#official premiere... so i read it quickly and passed it on to them and one other classmate i think? lol#i remember i had a fondness for octavian. funny little guy#now that i think about it... i don't... really... have any 'childhood series' that i'd get super nostalgic over if they got a tv show/remak#or wtv. i could read when the... 2nd? hp movie came out but for some reason i didn't like the Vibes (i only got into hp after i accidentall#caught the poa movie on my father's tv in 4th grade and at that point i think the book series was already over)#i was also into the witch comics and in ~2006 i think i got into manga and anime#but only specific series and back then it wasn't as easy for me to watch them in the first place so i can't relate to naruto kids either#when i started jpn studies everyone was an expert on the most popular shows and i... Was Not#tl;dr yea i have no idea what the fuck is wrong with me either. anyway i'd say i want to give the show a try sometime but unfortunately#the only way to get me to watch a show it to invite me over and put it on. otherwise it's 'oh yeah i'll add it to my list' city. forever.#(there's no list)
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Found a very cool pastel cat sweater at the bins but I have literally nothing that matches it well, so I always struggle to make outfits with it lol
#ootd#pastel#I really really want to SELL CLOTHES I keep talking about selling clothes.. its just such a process..hhhhhhh#Because you have to take pictures. edit the pictures. list them somewhere. write descriptions. choose a price. advertise the fact you listed#it somewhere. Repeat with literally hundreds of items (since I get bulk clothes at the bins and etc.). I have a lot of cool stuff that I thi#nk people into similar styles would want to buy. and I always need money to fund art and healthcare expenses and eventually moving to a diff#erent place someday. replacing broken electronics. etc. etc. So a wise decision is 'well sell a lot of the old clothes you have'. It is so#difficutl with my specific functioning issues though since it's such a long process and also packing things up. taking them to the post offi#ce etc. takes timing since I always have to be driven by roomates and stuff. etc. etc.#I think the way I was considering getting around this was to sell clothing in 'packs' like.. A pack of 5 or 6 matching items the same shade#of pink. or all green items with flowers so it's the same 'nature theme'. Or even selling full outfits or something. so that way I can kind#of bundle items. Instead of the effort of photograohing and listing literally 50 individual items. Turn them into 5 packs of 10. Or 10 packs#of 5. etc. ? But I think I never got too far with that because I was uncertain how that'd actually go over in terms of whether people would#buy groups of items instead of just individual. Especially whole outfits or something like. I think you'd get a wider audience giving people#more individual choice to choose seperate things instead of putting them together and going 'this is just what you get' or etc.#but I could also see it being cool. You already have some guaranteed stuff that matches. They have a theme. Especially if it's something you#like. Love brown themed mori kei items? here's 5 of them already together. etc. etc. etc.#ANYWAY. Came to mind because as much as I love anything with cats on it that's a light color. I also am chronically warm natured due to my#health issues so I overheat immensely if I wear sweaters. even in the winter I don't wear that many layers lol. So a sweater like this is ju#st impratical for me outside of taking one or two outfit photos with it. but I don't think I could ever actually wear it even if I really wa#nt to. But it's nice! and very cool!! so a good candidtate for selling. Give it to someone who would be happier to have it than I would in#the sense that maybe they could actually WEAR it lol.#ANYWAY... rhgh#everything......... difficult.......... whye#Also sweater is too hot for me and doesn't match anything I own even though it's perfect and I love cats..... whye....... cruele world#self
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