#this last minute decision is already gonna cost me so much rip

[xoxo-teddybear]

You Did This To Us - Bakugou Katsuki

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: ANGST, cursing, gore, implied sexual activity, infidelity, alcohol abuse, marijuana use, I’m just here to rip y’all hearts out, MDNI

Summary: It was a horrible battle against raging villains and he watched you, his loving wife of 6 years, get pierced right in front of him. It was traumatizing. Your days in the hospital sent him into depression, causing him to make the worst decisions of his life. Decisions he’s regretted the second he’s made them and decisions he’ll forever regret because of what it cost him.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

He warned you not to come. No that’s not the right word. He begged you to sit your ass down at home where you would be safe. But of course, you were never that kind of hero. You could never sit on the sidelines and watch others fight a battle you knew you could at least try to help in. So with a heavy heart, he reluctantly allowed you to come. His first regret.

Because as the battle died down and victory was in sight, his world was thrown into chaos once more. The villains were down. The wind was settling. The dust was clearing. Katsuki could see you struggling to stand due to exhaustion but saw your smile nonetheless. He gave a breath of relief as he still saw you and jogged over to you. As he did, you noticed him coming your way and your smile only grew. Until it suddenly dropped, along with his own. Out of nowhere, a sharp, metal staff flew threw the air and pierced you right in the stomach. The sight was nauseating as Katsuki covered his mouth, truly shocked. He watched you in horror as you trembled before falling to the ground.

Katsuki looked behind him to find the attacker and saw some stupid, weak ass, good for nothing villain use the last of his power just to cause you harm. Then the world began to shake. No, that wasn’t it. Katsuki was violently trembling as he looked towards the bastard on the ground. Despite him being knocked out cold, that didn’t stop Dynamight from rushing over to him, grabbing him by the neck and blasting him. No one was around. No one would see. His job was safe. He could do this and have no repercussions whatsoever, so why not?

After the petty villain’s death, Katsuk used every ounce of strength in him to run to your body that had blood trickling down the side of your lips. “Y/N!”

You turned your head the best you could to find your husband sobbing his eyes out as he picked you up into his lap. He cradled your head and gently tapped your face, trying to keep you conscious. “Hey! Hey, you’re gonna be okay, alright?! You’re gonna be okay baby I promise.”

“Suki..I’m tired.” You whispered out in a weak voice. Hearing your words stabbed him through the chest.

“I-..I know baby. I know you’re tired. But- but you can’t go to sleep okay? Don’t go to sleep. You have to stay awake- stay alive! Okay?” He pleaded with you. He called out for a medic once he saw the flashing red and blue lights near the scene and held onto your body. He looked to you and saw your eyes becoming null and dense before firing back up again. You were falling in and out of consciousness. You were a fighter and you were trying to stay alive. It made him choke out a sad laugh. “You’re gonna make it, Teddy Bear, I swear.”

“….if I don’t make it-“

“You will, you idiot, don’t say shit like that!”

“But if I don’t…just- Ah-….just know I love you, Suki.”

Katsuki kissed your forehead before hugging you close. “I know, Y/N. I love you too. More than anyone, and more than you’ll ever fucking know.”

He noticed a small smile reach your lips before the medics came. Katsuki was quick to stand with you in his arms, careful and aware of the metal still pierced within you. He handed you off to the professionals who handled you with extra care. They brought you into the ambulance with Katsuki trying to follow in before being stopped.

“The fuck-“

“Dynamight, we can’t allow you to go in.” One said.

“And why the fuck not?! That’s my wife in there!” Katsuki shouted as he pointed to you.

“I understand, but her condition is severe. We can’t have anyone taking up space as we take care of her on her way to the hospital.” He explained.

“Taking up space?! Do you even know who you’re-“

“Sir, please. Let me do my job, let me save your wife’s life.” With that, Katsuki finally nodded in silence as he allowed the medic’s words to echo in his head. “Can you meet us at the hospital?”

Once again, a silent nod. With that, the medic was off and back to your seemingly lifeless body. Katsuki watched as he lead the team and perfectly directed them. He was sure that until you got to the hospital, you were in good hands. That was one guy he could surprisingly trust. He didn’t know him very well or at all for that matter, but he has Dynamight’s trust. Now Katsuki just had to head home and clean himself up before finding you again. Screw getting checked up. He knew his body. He knew he was damn well fucking fine.

—

As Katsuki opened the door to his house in a rush, he was quick to take a shower just to wash off the dirt and blood. He quickly hopped out and changed into some clothes before looking for his car keys. He found them at his nightstand along with the framed pictures of you and him. One on your wedding night and one celebrating your 3rd anniversary as a married couple. As Katsuki quickly looked through he pictures he smiled with a tear falling down his cheek. He looked around the room and took in all the pictures of you both that decorated your walls and tables.

You both were together since junior high. You were together for 10 years and despite being at the young ages of 23 and 22, he still decided to pop the big questions and propose. You said yes. It was one of the happiest days of his life, next to getting you to be his girlfriend, and meeting you in general. Forget the hero work, he’d trade it all if it meant he got to stay with you. You were always involved when it came to his happiest points in life. And now you were fighting for your life at the hospital. So with that, Bakugou wiped his tears and ran to his car, urgently trying to meet you at the building.

As he pulled up and parked, he pushed passed all the paparazzi and fans that surrounded the entrance due to news of you being there. You can assume how bad it got when everyone took notice of another pro-hero, and that pro being Dynamight no less, showing up. Despite all that, Bakugou forced his way in and made it to the front desk, demanding to know where you were. The poor lady at the desk had to deal with this explosive bomb, only to anger him even more by asking for his ID.

“Are you a fucking idiot?! Look at me! I’m Bakugou fucking Katsuki?! The number one pro fucking hero?!” He screamed at the poor girl.

“I’m- I’m sorry sir! It’s just protocol. H/N is a pro-hero, this is just what has to be done.” She shakily let out. Bakugou grunted before slamming his ID and Hero license onto the table. The lady nodded before handing him a piece of paper that had directions to your room.

Bakugou snatched it and gave her a scowl before running to look for you. Finally making it to one of the highest floors and down the longest hallways, he finally reached your door with 2 doctors already standing out in front of it. Bakugou tried to get through but they stopped him from entering.

“What?! What fucking now?!” He shouted as he stepped back to keep their hands off of him.

“Sir, they’re taking care of your wife just fine, but you have to wait here.” One of the docs demanded. With that, an argument bursted out between the pro and the doctors. The booming voices shook the building until a familiar voice was heard from behind the blonde.

“Dynamight, your wife’s in good care. I made sure my own wife was to be her head doctor.” Bakugou turned around to find the medic that stopped him from going into your ambulance there.

“It’s you.” He spoke aloud. The medic smiled before bowing.

“Daisuke Ena,” the medic said before standing back up straight. “Please trust me when I say your wife will be fine.”

“…and why should I?” Bakugou said after thinking for a minute.

“My wife is the one taking care of her. She is one of the best, if not the best, doctor in the prefecture. That’s not a biased opinion by the way, you can look her up. Daisuke Ami. I ensured it was her who was to see to your wife.” Daisuke said with a calm smile. After looking towards your hospital room, Katsuki turned back to the medic and nodded silently like he did before. But this time, he added a small ‘thank you.’

—

6 hours. Katsuki sat in one of the seats in front of your hospital room for 6 fucking hours only for them to tell him they cannot allow you visitors. You were in an unstable condition and so they sent Katsuki home. The news was heart wrenching. You always ran through Katsuki’s mind 24/7. He couldn’t stop it. But now, these thoughts were no longer happy and innocent, consisting of ‘damn, I miss her,’ and ‘I wonder what my girl’s doing right now.’ Instead they consisted of ‘Is she gonna be okay,’ and ‘she’s gonna come home, right?’ but most of all ‘I can’t lose her.’

Luckily for Katsuki, he became familiar with medical staff, Daisuke Ena, and was lucky enough to get his number. Daisuke gave him updates on Y/N. Usually, they weren’t so great but the hero appreciated the messages. The text didn’t help in uplifting Katsuki’s spirits though. If anything, they made them worse. In the beginning, Katsuki had hope that you would turn out okay.

But then a week passed.

And then another.

And then two more and before he knew it, you had already been in there for a month. This was the longest month of Katsuki’s life. It sucks to say but in the 13 years that you both have been together, he’s hasn’t done much alone outside of hero work. And even then, he would be lucky enough to work with you. It was always you and him together. Dates? Duh. Grocery shopping? Always you and him. Going for a walk? Why not? He loves spending as much time as he could with you. He loves you. But he hadn’t realize how dependent he became on your presence. In a way, you being gone drove him mad. He knew where you were. You were in the hospital. He could drive her there and see you right now!

No he can’t.

Because he would go and you would be stuck in bed, unconscious and hooked to machines, in a room, behind a door that Katsuki can’t get by. Seeing you isn’t the same as holding you. Speaking to you isn’t the same as conversing with you. There’s no reciprocation from your end. Being around your near lifeless body could only do so much. And so after two more weeks without you went by, Katsuki fell into a depression.

And that sucks because a few days after Katsuki’s depression began, it was okay for him to see you. But you hadn’t woken up yet. He didn’t think he would be able to be near you and your practically dead body. The fact that you were alive didn’t stick to him. He can’t see your beautiful E/C eyes, he can’t hear your honey-like voice..there’s no way you’re alive. The back of his mind still had hope. He knew you were stable. He knew you were gonna be okay..hopefully..but, you weren’t waking up. You were basically dead. Dead, dead, dead. And the more he thought about it, the more realistic the idea came to be.

So he didn’t visit you anymore..something else he’ll come to regret, and because he didn’t visit, he grew mad. Throwing away his life and succumbing to the tempting taste of alcohol. Any he could get. From the cheapest beers in cans to the finest liquors sold from top shelf. In the beginning, it was..controlled, but then he showed up to hero work completely wasted. Kirishima saved his job and forced Katsuki to take a break until he becomes stable again. This only gave Katsuki free time to do whatever the hell he wanted. And what did he want to do? He wanted to become lost.

Lost in alcohol, lost in weed, lost in everything. Lost because he doesn’t have you. Everyday he would spend it drinking and smoking, constantly being cross faded and surprising all his friends when he remained alive after all the substance abuse. Wake up, drink, get ready, drink, sit in the living room, smoke, cry over you, smoke and drink, eat and drink, go to sleep after a smoke sesh, cry over you once more. Eventually, Katsuki had cried so much, the only thing keeping him together was the fact that he had all these pictures of the two of you. Pictures of your smiles, you giving him a kiss, your dates, your accomplishments..he has all these pictures..but none of them would ever be as good as the real you.

Seeing his friend going down this road, Kirishima couldn’t help but try to do everything he could to fix his friend. No matter how many times Katsuki pushed him away, the red head kept going back. And none of his attempts to help his friend worked. Until…

—

“What now, Shitty Hair?” Bakugou groaned as he opened his door and squinted at the bright day light. He doesn’t remember that last time he’s seen the sun.

“I know you’ve been in a slump-“

“Slump? That’s what you call this? I lost the love of my life, Kirishima. This isn’t a fucking slump.” Bakugou said a little louder this time.

“She’s not gone, Bakugou.” Kirishima said trying to reassure his friend.

“But she’s not here either,” the blonde said as he chewed on his lip. “…look, whatever it is you want from me, I can’t give you. Not until Y/N is back at home, here, with me, safe and alive.”

“I know you feel that way man, but you can’t keep living like this. It’s not good for you. You at least need to get out of your house.” Kirishima said with his hand on the door as Bakugou tried to shut it. The blonde narrowed his eyes at his best friend before Kirishima spoke up again. “We can go wherever you wanna go and do whatever you wanna do, you just gotta get out of this house. Please.”

As Katsuki thought about it, he took a deep sigh before speaking. “Tonight at Hiro’s?”

“Dude, you wanna go to a bar-“

“It’s a club. Better than a bar, better drinks.” Bakugou corrected.

“Are you sure you don’t wanna hit the gym or maybe go to an actual restaurant or something?” Kirishima said, trying to steer his friend clear of alcohol.

“If you want me out of my house, then we go where I wanna go. No exceptions.” Bakugou said with a stern voice. Kirishima thought about it and sighed before giving in.

“Fine. But first, you gotta clean yourself up.” The red head said. The blonde nodded before going to shut his door, only to be interrupted by his friend once again. “With a little help from your best buds.”

As Kiri pushed the door open even more, Kaminari and Sero showed their faces that held kind smiles that only made Katsuki seethe. “No fucking way. This isn’t some girl’s trip and we aren’t doing makeovers.”

“Nobody said anything about a makeover, we’re just gonna help clean ya’ up Kacchan!” Denki smiled.

“I’m a grown man, I don’t need help cleaning up.” Bakugou said with a growl.

“Tell that to your stubble, messy hair, eye bags, and stench.” Sero began. “Seriously man, you smell like liquor and weed. You’re lucky you got that caramel thing going on to save you…barely.”

Before he knew it, his friends had pushed him into his house and quickly directed him to the bathroom. They did a full treatment. Forced him into the shower and made him soak in a tub of scented soaps and bath additions as they cleaned his house. Once they were done they had picked out a clean outfit for him before working on his face. They shaved his stubble, cleaned up his cut, put some eye cream on his bags, gave him some breath spray and changed out a few of his piercings. The full treatment. And when they showed Bakugou the new old him, he couldn’t deny he felt a little better. At least, before they stepped into his room again and he saw a few pictures of you. That’s when the slump in his shoulder returned.

Seeing this, his friends were quick to take him out of the house and head to Hiro’s. Walking in, they sat at the bar, ordered some food and a few drinks, and did whatever they could to keep Bakugou’s mind off of you. And for most of the night, it worked! Bakugou was laughing again, smiling, being his old self. But that’s when Denki decided to risk it.

“We doing shots or what?” The electric blonde asked. Kirishima gave him a look as he spoke.

“Uh, let’s go light on the liquor tonight. We don’t need shots to have a good time, right?” Kirishima said. Bakugou looked at him and chuckled.

“It’s nice of you to look out for me, Shitty hair, but I got this. Trust me.” Bakugou said with a small smile.

“I don’t know, man.” Kirishima said with a pout.

“Don’t be a pussy, Kirishima.” Kaminari smirked. That’s when all of Kiri’s friends, even Bakugou, began to egg him on. Of course, he gave in. Why not? What’s the worst that could happen? Bakugou gets drunk? He’s already been drunk before, nothing too crazy could happen, right?

Wrong. Shots were being downed and the 4 friends were losing themselves. The music was blasting, the lights were blinding, and the friends were…everywhere! Kirishima was probably puking his guts out in the bathroom, Sero and Kaminari were drunk on the dance floor, leaving Bakugou drunk at the bar by himself. Bad idea. The poor blonde was looking at his phone going through pictures of you and him together. He already missed you like crazy when he was sober, now that he’s drunk, that missing has hit full throttle. And then he caught the eye of a snake.

She walked up to the pro-hero with full confidence as she took a seat next to him. “Dynamight.”

Bakugou looked up from his phone with a scowl and blush from the alcohol. “Do I fucking know you?”

“No but-“

“Then get lost.” He said and downed another sip of his whiskey. The woman smirked at his crude behavior.

“Feisty. I like that about you, you know. Always playing hard to get.” She said with a seductive tone.

“I’m not playing hard to get, I’m playing impossible to get because I’m married,” he said and showed his wedding ring. “Happily.”

“You don’t seem too happy right now mister hero. My name’s Leiko..and if you want..I could help take away your troubles.” She offered with a smile as she leaned forward, making sure to expose a little more cleavage than necessary.

“My wife is better than just some quick fuck, so no thanks.” Bakugou said, still not taking his eyes off her, trying to scare her away with a glare that unfortunately she only smirked at.

“Who said I was trying to fuck? Why don’t you talk to me? Vent. Rant. It won’t get your mind off of your wife but it will help clear your head.” She said.

“And why the hell do you think I’m having issues with my wife?!” He asked with a tense voice.

“I walked over here and you were staring down at pictures of her on your phone. Miss H/N is beautiful. You’re a very lucky man.” Leiko said, playing the role of a snake perfectly.

“…I am..” Bakugou agreed before swallowing a gulp. “I’m Uh…I’m not having issues with her or anything. And we’re not fighting either. She’s just..been in the hospital recovering from a battle..I just miss her…”

He didn’t know whether it was the alcohol or if Leiko was just that good at pretending to be nice or both, but for whatever reason she made it easy to clear his mind. She listened well, never putting any input in. She let him speak freely and only spoke up when he looked at her in expectance to. In the moment..she was being a good friend. She allowed him to vent all he wanted about you, about how much he missed you and loves you. And by the end of the night, Katsuki could feel his chest feel a little lighter.

They didn’t sleep together but Leiko left an impression on his drunk self for sure. Maybe even him as a person. He’d remember her as ‘that one nice lady from the club.’ But that was until a few days later when she reached out to him on social media. Leiko was a perfect snake. Knowing exactly what she wanted and exactly how to get it. They spoke for some time online, casual conversations. Most times, it was Leiko asking about you and if you were okay. This went on for some time until their conversations changed. Leiko casually threw in a little flirt every now and then, Katsuki saw and held no reply for it, but didn’t stop her from doing so. Leiko seemed like a good friend. A good way to air out his emotions and issues. So despite her pushy and flirtatious nature, he kept her around. Solely as a friend.

Soon enough, Leiko offered to meet in person once more. At the same club they first met in. ‘Why not?’ Katsuki thought. He had nothing else to do. And so he went. Then he went again. And again. And again. The two became ‘friends’ and Katsuki even brought her back into your shared home where they shared even more drinks. Eventually, the use of marijuana came into play and now the two were cross faded. At least one of them was. Leiko was smart and sneaky. She took less drinks, didn’t inhale the smoke, and basically remained sober. She was in complete control, unlike the blonde hero who sat on the couch beside her. He was now upset and hurt as he thought about you.

“I-..I just miss her so damn much..it fucking hurts at this point.” He said with a whimper in his voice. Being so vulnerable, Leiko took her chance and slid in.

“Well..there’s always one way to take your mind off of harsh things like this.” She softly said with a hand in his lap. She leaned in and Bakugou made no move to stop her and allowed her to continue. She pressed his lips against his and despite it not being reciprocated the first time, she still pushed with it. Katsuki didn’t enjoy it all that much or at all. It was different, it was new, it wasn’t you. It didn’t feel like home. Her lips weren’t soft, they weren’t as plump, they didn’t have the same sweet and addicting taste you did but in a way..Katsuki felt it was what he needed. Her kiss wasn’t like yours. In fact, it was the complete opposite and he hated it. But it didn’t resemble you. When Leiko kissed him, it didn’t remind him of you, and that’s what he thought he needed. So despite not liking the kiss, when she pulled away, he pulled her back. Eventually the kiss grew more intense until it was brought to the bedroom where their night continued in a more sinful manner.

That morning, Katsuki made Leiko leave, angered at what she tricked him into and ashamed of his betrayal. How could he do that to you?! His love of over a decade! When Leiko was gone, Katsuki allowed himself to break down his walls and cry. He cried so hard that morning, more than he’s ever cried before. That morning made him realize his third regret.

Leiko and Katsuki never spoke again..until some days later when Katsuki allowed himself to become extremely drunk once more. He fell into his obsessive thoughts of you and felt the pain come again. Wanting to erase the hurt, he reached out to Leiko and asked her to come over and distract him again. He needed to feel something that wasn’t you. And so Leiko happily went over that night. And a few more nights because Katsuki felt the pain again for a few more nights. As Leiko kept going, she noticed the house loss more and more touches of you. Katsuki flipped his pictures of you in his bedroom so that they wouldn’t see his nights of betrayal and he moved his clothes out of your shared closet so he wouldn’t be reminded and hit with your addicting scent that lingered on your clothes. Leiko smiled, feeling like a victor as Katsuki slept beside her in your bed on your side. The two would have quite a surprise in the morning.

—

Katsuki was awake and was still feeling the shame. He didn’t like sleeping around with Leiko but he liked the way it distracted him from his painful thoughts of you. Every morning after a night spent with her was the same. The two would wake up, she would put on one of his shirts despite his protests and get ready in his bathroom as he sat in the living room downstairs. But this morning had a little surprise twist.

As Katsuki sat in the living room with his head down, the doorbell rung. Growling in annoyance at one of his friends’ presence, he reluctantly went to open the door with a sour mood. “WHAT?!”

“Umm, excuse me. Who the fuck do you think you are talking to your wife like that?” You asked with attitude. As Katsuki adjusted his eyes to the light and his ears caught the sound of his favorite song, his eyes widened and his smile rose.

“Y-Y/N?” He asked in complete shock. He saw you alive, healthy, smiling, looking naturally beautiful right in front of him.

“Missed me, Suki?” You asked with a giggle. Bakugou pushed the door open to pull you in for the tightest hug as he lifted you off the ground.

“YOU’RE BACK!” He cried out. He held you tight and shut the door with his foot as he dropped onto the couch with you on top of him. He held you close to him as he cried into your neck. “You’re really back! Fuck- I missed you so much Y/N! I fucking love you- I’ve been a mess without you..shit!”

His tears were everlasting as they fell from his ruby eyes that you missed so much. You smiled as you wiped them away with your thumbs and the soft touch he’s craved and missed so much. You pecked his nose to calm him down as you allowed your hands to get lost in his blonde hair. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I’m here, Suki. I’m back.”

Katsuki still held tears in his eyes and was shaking in happiness as you remained oh so close, giving him the warmth he needed after so many months. “Tell me you love me, Y/N.”

“I love you Bakugou Katsuki.” You happily said. Your husband teared up once more, so happy he was able to hear those words from you again, before pulling you in for a passionate kiss. A kiss that brought him back to life. He took in your scent and the way you tasted illegally sweet. He let his hands roam your body in a loving way until they found way into your soft H/C locks, trying to bring your head closer to his despite your lips already being in contact. You pulled away with him chasing after your lips, needing to push him back a little to allow yourself to breath. “Relax Suki.”

He scoffed at that. “Relax? I just got you back, you’re not calling the shots today princess, that’s all me.”

You both have a little laugh as you tucked in to cuddle for a small time. He missed this. This is what he needed. This is what he’s been dying for. To have you back in his arms, alive, healthy, and present. He needed this for so long and now that he has it, he feels whole again. After spending some cuddle minutes on the couch, you rose up in need for a glass of water. As you tried to walk away, Katsuki tugged on your arm to try and bring you back to him, only to have you calm him down. “I’m just getting some water, Suki.”

He reluctantly let you go, allowing himself to smile like an idiot, glad to be around you again. As you searched for a glass in the cabin, that’s when Bakugou detected the sound of someone turning the shower off. And that’s when his eyes popped. His betrayal to you. The multiple times he betrayed your love and literal proof of it standing in his shared home with you. That’s when he began to silently panic. You were gonna find out. You were gonna find out he had been acting like a sleeze behind your back and you were gonna be pissed. Heartbroken. Downright furious and you had every right to be, but Katsuki wouldn’t allow it. He knew once you found out, you would leave again. But you can’t leave! He just got you back! You’re not allowed to leave when you finally came back to him. He’s finally happy again because you’re back! You can’t leave now!

“Hey, Baby, don’t you wanna see your friends?” Katsuki asked as he walked over to you. You had finished your glass and placed it down on the island when your husband came over asking an absurd question.

“Suki, they were all there when I left the hospital. They were the ones who bought me these new clothes. Aren’t they cute?” You asked with the smile he loved oh so much.

“Uh- yeah, yeah they look amazing on you Teddy Bear. Umm..if they were all with you, why didn’t they tell me you were coming back home?” He asked as you wrapped your arms around his neck and his went right to home on your waist.

“I wanted to surprise you!” You giggled. “How’d I do?”

“Really fucking good, you little dumbass. But why don’t we get some fresh air? Yeah?” He said as he tried pulling you to the door.

“What why? I was just out there.” You said as you stopped in your tracks. “Besides, I heard you didn’t visit me much in the hospital ya’ big meanie. I wanna spend as much time with you as I can.”

“I was gone because I couldn’t stand to see you like that, baby.” He said with a whimper.

“Yeah I figured. Which is why I’m not too mad, but you still gotta make it up to me with cuddles, so let’s go!” You said and tried pulling him in the direction of your bedroom but he planted his feet into the ground.

“We can still spend time together outside the house, Teddy Bear,” Katsuki said enthusiastically, trying to keep you away from the room that for sure reeked of sex and held scattered clothes of his own and another woman’s.

“But I want to spend time at home with you,” you pouted. Bakugou felt his heart melt at the cute face you pulled and brought you closer to him.

“I know, I wanna spend time with you too but I’ve been in the house for so long, I think I need to get out of here.” The blonde said while being aware and on the lookout for Leiko.

“Well I’ve been out of the house for so long and I know I need to be in it. Besides, as your previously injured wife, what I say goes.” You said with sass and a smile. Katsuki laughed, loving your little attitude but still worried of what you may find out.

“Baby please, can we just go?” He begged as he held your soft hands in his.

“Why are you so adamant on leaving, Suki?” You asked

“That’s because he doesn’t want you to find out about me.”

Your body jumped at the sound of a new voice and you looked at Katsuki’s face, noticing it scrunching in fear, before you turned around to find another woman wearing nothing but Katsuki’s shirt. The same shirt you’ve worn a thousand times over. You could feel your heart clenching in pain but you stood your ground no less.

“Who are you?” You asked as you dropped your hands from your husband’s. You heard his little whine at the loss of your touch as he reached out to hold into your arm but you gently pushed him off.

“Y/N-“

“Oh come on, H/N. Don’t be in denial. I bet you already have an exact idea on who I am.” Leiko said with a smirk as she looked at you. You turned to your husband with raised brows and a face of anger as you glared at him. You looked back at her and bit your lip before smiling.

“Were you in it for the long haul?” You asked Leiko, wondering if she really wanted Katsuki or if she was just getting pleasure out of this.

“Definitely not. I just came for a quick fuck every now and then. Wanted to get a feel of what it was like getting dicked down by a big shot pro-hero.” She said casually.

“Did you know he was married?” You asked.

“Yeah but he didn’t seem to care so neither did I.” She said. This made your blood boil a bit and you wanted to cry so damn bad, but you refused to allow your whore of a husband and this stranger to see you break. You huffed before smiling again.

“You can take your leave now.” You kindly said. Leiko looked at you in confusion.

“You’re not mad?” She asked. Katsuki had the same thought running through his mind as his heart raced at this conversation happening right here right now.

“Oh I’m furious. But am I really supposed to be mad at some stranger who’s content with being a home wrecker? ‘Cuz I feel like most of my anger should be directed to the man-whore behind me.” You said, never looking Katsuki’s way.

“Y/N, please-“

“I’m not speaking to you yet.” You said calmly, still not looking at him. You didn’t have to turn around to know there were tears in your husband’s eyes. Leiko smiled before standing a little taller.

“Well then, I’ll be taking my leave,” she said and took off the big shirt and throwing it onto the couch, leaving herself in her underwear. “Am I expected to be back for another visit?”

“You can come back as many times as Katsuki asks. As far as I’m concerned, he’s a single man again.” You said with a laugh.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Katsuki asked with a break in his voice. Leiko laughed too before nodding and walking back to the bedroom and gathering her things. You walked silently to sit on the couch with Katsuki following you. “Y/N, what the fuck do you mean I’m single. I’m still your husband!”

You remained silent as you looked at him with a sarcastic smile. You said nothing as you waited for Leiko to return. “Say something!”

Finally, Leiko walked down the stairs, fully dressed, and looked to you before taking her leave. You smiled at her before speaking. “So..I don’t want him anymore. Do you?”

“No I’m good. Anybody’s good for a fuck but I don’t date cheaters.” Leiko said with her hand on the knob.

“I’m not a fucking cheater!” Katsuki shouted at her as he had tears dripping down his face. She gave him a dry laugh before opening the door.

“Take a look around Bakugou. You’re not a cheater?” She asked before walking out and shutting the door, leaving the two of you in the broken home. Silence passed and all that could be heard was Katsuki’s shaky breath. You then stood up, gaining his attention, and tried walking to your bedroom before Katsuki stopped you by holding onto your arm. Tight.

“Where the fuck are you going, Y/N?” He asked as he cried angrily. You tried to shake him off of you to no avail.

“I’m leaving you fucking idiot. If you haven’t noticed, you cheated. You were disloyal. You allowed some stranger into our home, into our bed, just to get your dick wet.” You said with an angry but calm tone.

“She wasn’t a stranger.” Bakugou said trying to defend himself. You laughed and stepped to face him.

“Oh really? Tell me one damn thing you know about her.” You asked. As Katsuki thought about it..he really didn’t know anything about her. Fuck- he didn’t even know her family name. All he knew was that her name was Leiko. They were speaking for a month and in that entire month, Katsuki only ever talked about himself. She never gave up any information about herself. All she wanted to do was get to know Katsuki and get in his pants. She really was a stranger and he just tossed away his entire relationship for some whore. His silence gave you your answer. “That’s what I thought.”

You tried walking away again before he ran to stand in front of you. “Y/N! Please! Just listen, okay? I was depressed because you were gone!”

“And that’s your excuse for cheating on me?!” You shouted.

“No! But- but it hurt me to even think about you in that hospital bed! I couldn’t even face you without feeling like I was dying! And then that fucking snake came and she distracted me and kept my thoughts away from you. She kept the pain away. I know that that’s not excuse for what I did but please try to understand why I did it!” He begged as he cried.

“I will never understand! Because I could never do what you did! If you were in the hospital, close to death, I would’ve been by your side every second of every day! Yes I would’ve felt all the pain and depression you did but I wouldn’t want to distract myself from it! Because at least then I would be thinking about you, and worrying about you, and caring about you, and loving you because you’re my husband Katsuki! I wouldn’t ever want to not think about you!” You shouted in anger and hurt as you allowed a few tears to fall. This urged Katsuki to cup your face in his hands and wipe away your tears.

“I’m so sorry, baby. Please, can we just move pass this? Please.” He said softly as he pressed his forehead to your own before you shoved him off.

“Get away from me!” You shouted, breaking his heart as he stumbled back. “After everything we’ve been through, you go and do this to me?! AFTER EVERYTHING?!”

“IM SORRY! PLEASE! I CAN’T TAKE BACK WHAT I DID BUT YOU HAVE TO FORGIVE ME!” He shouted back.

“WHO THE FUCK SAYS I HAVE TO FORGIVE YOU, BAKUGOU?!” You said, emphasizing the use of his family name. The name that you also held.

“Don’t call me that, baby, please.” He whimpered.

“DON’T FUCKING CALL ME THAT BAKUGOU! WE’RE DONE!” You shouted and walked away to your room with him following you. He kept spewing apologies up until you opened the bedroom door. It was a horrible mess and the stench of sex filled the air. You covered your mouth and nose as tears pricked your eyes before walking in to open your closet, disappointed as you noticed all the pictures of you two were flipped to be hidden. When you opened the doors, you didn’t find your clothes. “Where the fuck is my stuff, Bakugou.”

“I’m not telling you because you’re not leaving me, Y/N!” He said as he tried to hug you from behind before you pushed him off again.

“I’m not staying here! Tell me where my stuff is so I can leave!” You demanded.

“Like hell I will! We haven’t even had a full talk about this! You can’t just leave!” He said. You watched as tears fell down his face which only made you even more angry. He was crying? He did this! This is all his fault! How can he be the one upset?! “Y/N please, I’ll get on my fucking knees and beg you to stay if it’s what it takes but you can’t go! We’ve been together for 13 years! 13! Even before UA-“

“And you threw all that away when you decided to sleep with someone else.” You said calmly. You walked out of the room in search for your clothes as he followed and continued to speak with sobs breaking apart his sentences.

“Y/N please! I- I can fix this! You don’t have to go! You can stay and we can be happy, just like we’ve always been! Just like we were a few minutes ago before that bitch walked in and ruined everything!” He cried making you turn around in a snap.

“She didn’t ruin anything Katsuki. When you allowed her to come into your life and into our home, that’s when you fucked up. You did this to us. You ruined everything.” You said before continuing your search.

“T-Tell me what you want Y/N! I’ll make it happen! I’ll do anything- I’ll give you the fucking world! As long as you stay!” He begged. You approached the guest room in silence and Bakugou grew frantic as he blocked you from going in. “Please- don’t.”

“All my stuff is in there, isn’t it?” You asked, already knowing the answer and only having it confirmed when he remained silent. “Get out of my way.”

Bakugou shook his head as he kept the door block as you tried to pry your way through. Growing frustrated, you used a small amount of your quirk to blast him through the door, having him groan in pain as he hit the floor and watched you find your clothes in the guest room closet. You began packing your things and Bakugou was quick to stand and take everything you put in your bag out. “Stop it!”

“No! You’re staying with me! You’re not leaving me Y/N- I won’t lose you again!” He said as he tossed your bag across the room. You watched it go and stood in disbelief at his childish antics.

“Heh, you know what? Whatever, keep all the clothes. Maybe you’ll gift it to the next girl you decide to bring back here.” You said with attitude.

“I’m not bringing anybody else through those doors! I ONLY WANT YOU Y/N!” He shouted.

“Doubtful. Keep it, burn it, regift it, I don’t care. With my salary I can buy myself a new wardrobe and a new apartment. Far. Away. From you.” You said and walked out of the room. As you tried to exit the house, Katsuki pulled you back into his arms as you struggled in his grip with your face smushed against his chest.

“Please! Please tell me what you want! I’ll do anything! I’ll buy you anything! We’ll do whatever you want- Y/N I’ll even quit my job! Just please don’t go! Please forgive me!” He cried before you harshly pushed him off to reveal your sobbing face.

“I WANT TO LEAVE! BECAUSE I DONT WANT THIS ANYMORE KATSUKI!” You shouted before wiping your eyes and bringing your voice down. “I wanted my husband there with me at the hospital! I wanted him to be the first face that I saw when I woke up! But you couldn’t even give me that! Instead, you were in our home in our bed with some random person you found wherever having sex with her despite the fact that you’re a married man! …I was in a fucking hospital fighting for my life and my husband was too busy cheating on me, trying not to think about me…..I want to leave Katsuki.”

“….I can’t let you do that Y/N…I’m sorry. But I can’t do this without you.” He cried as you listed all his shortcomings. “I’ll give you whatever-“

“I don’t want material things!” You shouted in exhaustion. “I wanted your loyalty and love!”

“And you have that!”

“We wouldn’t be in this situation if I did!” You said. “I’m leaving, Katsuki. And not you or anybody else in this fucking world is going to stop me. If you try and trap me here I will break down these walls myself and get out. If you force me to stay I will do whatever it takes to get away from you. I’m not staying with you. So we’re done. And we’re getting a divorce, whether you like it or not.”

As you walked to the door you could hear his heart breaking cries as you opened the exit. “Y/N please. I don’t want this, I waited months for you to come home to me…I need you.”

“When are you gonna realize Katsuki? This is your fault. You did this to us.”

And with that, you shut the door on the house, the home, the relationship, and him. And it was all his fault.

A/N: Y’all ima be writing a part 2 for this so stay tuned

Tag list: @sxcker4you @aomi04 @tessabrown101 @ebiharachan @is-this-ash @iris-shihabi @sxturn-stars @isolight @lanantoine @whatdidshesayyy @kiranogareru

[raggaraddy]

Idk of I/someone else has already asked this but how would the yanderes react to having a mute s/o

Mute

A/N: Hi Hi. Thank you for the request, I hope you enjoy it! 💜💜💜

Trigger warning: Yandere themes, violence, abuse, unhealthy relationships, blood drinking, descriptions of medical care.

Line: Mini-Rap Line (Namjoon, Yoongi, Hoseok, Jimin)

Alpha! Namjoon

"How long are you going to keep this up?" Namjoon asks, trying to mask the genuine irritation in his voice.

It's been 8 days and you haven't said a word to him. Now, if you weren't talking at all that would be one thing, but you were specifically not talking to him, and would talk to other people with no problem. Trying to make it as pointedly obvious as possible that you were avoiding him and him alone.

The blatant disrespect of this was driving him mad. But he had never set a rule that directly stated that you have to talk to him or reply to him, and he knew that you would only fight it further if he instituted the edict now.

For you though, you were having the time of your life making him suffer. It was rare for you to have so much control between the two of you, and you were abusing it to the fullest. Especially given the reason this all started.

A week ago you were whining because he wouldn't let you go to the town fair without him. An unreasonable decision he made. Because as you tried to point out, you were going to be surrounded by the pack anyhow, and the excuse he gave for not going was a very unnecessary border run that anyone else could do in his place. While he wants to deny it, you know the real cause for his refusal though. It's because you sounded too excited about seeing your new friend at the fate and he was jealous. Even though she was another girl, for whom you had no romantic feelings, he was still jealous. And petty. You could see it in the way he mentioned her name or his face when you spoke about her.

But even with all that, it was his injustice that really made you snap. The exact words he said to you as you tried to reason your point, were; If you're going pout I don't want to hear another word from you. Basically, he told you to shut up just because he couldn't come up with any valid rebuttals and he didn't want to lose. So fine, if he wanted to be a dick, you were going to simply take his own instruction and hyperbolize it.

And his frustration was worth every moment of silence.

While he was hoping not to further blow this out of proportion, Namjoon was trying to break your silence by being strict towards all your other undesirable behaviour. Disciplining you for each and every rule you broke. Hoping to wear you down, or at the very least provoke you into another argument so that he could claim victory.

He was giving you time outs, taking away your electronics, making you hold quarters to the wall, refusing you junk food and sweets, making you stay by his side the entire day and so on. Fully running through all of his most infuriating and childish punishments. But no matter what he did, you remained defiant. And he was at the end of his rope.

Sitting in the kitchen, you were talking with the Gamma and two other wolves during a patrol break. As Namjoon was putting lunch together, you were happily observing his clenched jaw. However, the aggravation their Alpha was exuding was putting the wolves on edge and they were trying to include him in any way they could. Asking his opinion on topics as trivial as shoes, in the hopes to offset the irreverence you were showing.

When they asked him which of two brands he prefered, you interrupted, sick of their transparent attempts.

"No one cares what he has to say." You snip turning your back to him. For the first time in days, you were referring to him, and all the attitude you had stored up was pouring out in those words. You didn't take a second to think about what you were really saying though.

With an almighty crash, Namjoon smacks his hand into the benchtop, catching the side of the plate causing it to shatter. All three wolves and you jump. Quickly the words replay in your head as you see their wide-eyed gawking. Then the realization hits, you were safe being underspokenly disrespectful, but being outrightly so... he had rules set about that, and now you'd just given him the right to punish you in the way he had been itching to.

Grabbing your arm before you can protest he drags you upstairs to your shared bedroom. With weak shoves and refusals, you stay determined not to utter a single word. But as Namjoon pulls onto the bed, dragging you over his lap, as he lifts up your dress and tears down your underwear, you recognise that it's not time to play anymore.

Ignoring your shouts, your foul language, and eventually your cries for him to stop, he holds you down and smacks your ass raw. After about 20 minutes and once he's reduced you to tears, he finally lets up.

"Apologize," he demands. Still crying, you're too out of breath to reply at once, and that pause costs you. His hand comes down on your bruised ass again making you scream. Your cries turning into whimpered hiccuped apologies as you cling to the tear-soaked duvet.

Satisfied with your change in attitude, Namjoon at last stops. Not letting you run away like you want though, instead he has you straddle his lap, his legs carefully spread so your bruised butt doesn't have to sit on anything.

"Do you understand why I did that Y/n?" He asks softly pulling you into his chest. His hand running over your back.

You know why he did it, but you're too bitter to answer him and can only muster a grunt.

"Still not speaking to me, huh?" He smiles knowing he has already won whether you wanted to admit it or not, "Because if you're going to continue being disrespectful, I don't care if your ass is still glowing, I will bring you back up here."

You can only grunt again. Hating him, while you nevertheless cuddle in closer not wanting him to stop comforting you. He chuckles feeling your energy. Fiddling with your clothes and hair to realign and neaten them.

"Beautiful," he purrs in your ear, "If it really means that much to you, I will have someone cover me this Friday so I can take you to the fair." He consigns, kissing your forehead. You finally look up to him, head tilted and mouth slightly open. "Do you want that?"

Looking down and away, you're pouting a little but you push the word out. "Yes,"

"Okay, I will. But you have to be on your best behaviour from now until then." Namjoon winks.

You lost, but you still got what you wanted in the end. So maybe you can chalk this up to a draw. And at the very least you've found a way to get what you want in the future. So maybe that can be considered a win.

Assassin! Yoongi

Because of your disrespectful outburst, Yoongi had told you that you were not allowed to speak until he says. So far you were 4 weeks into your 5 week deadline.

Initially, it was an unyielding torment to have to be silent. A few times you had slipped up and spoken. Each and every time, Yoongi was quick to respond. He would lock you downstairs for as many days as words you spoke. Luckily, the most you said at one time was 5 words. And he still fed you while you were down there. So while it was horrible, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been.

Steadily though, you found it became easier. While you weren't allowed to speak, you still needed to be able to communicate with Yoongi, so he allowed you to nod and shake your head, and smile. It was restrictive, but strangely enough, you found it becoming comfortable. Because you couldn't speak Yoongi expected less from you. You didn't have to search for words when he spoke to you in an attempt to make him happy and overall, it made your interactions less stressful.

With you not speaking, he was speaking less also. So for the past few days, you have been enjoying a wordless dialogue that you and Yoongi were having. And at this point, you were feeling more relaxed and not missing talking at all.

Although waking up this morning you came downstairs to a horrible sight, that made you wish you could scream.

Yoongi was collapsed on the floor. Stretched out on the kitchen tiles in a puddle of his own blood. Covered in bruises and cuts. His torn up T-shirt soaked in blood.

3 nights ago he had left for a job. With the ease between the two of you, Yoongi didn't lock you up when he left, although he didn't downrightly state that as the reason. He must have come home sometime last night, but clearly, you didn't hear him.

Rushing to his side, you're looking down his unconscious battered form with no idea what to do. This is nothing you know how to deal with.

With how long you have been without speaking it feels wrong, unnatural even when you think about doing it now. And you can't bring yourself to release a single word. So you do what you can to try and get his attention, and to wake him up. You shove him, clap over his head. Lastly and desperately smacking his face a few times, sighing in relief as it pulls him back to consciousness.

Groaning, his eyes look to be spinning from light-headedness. Stiffly he tries to get himself upright against the wall. Seeing his intent you help him. Pulling him, you slip a little in the puddle of blood. Your hands and feet are already covered in it. Your limbs trembling as you hold your hands away from your body. Looking down at him with pleading eyes, waiting for him to tell you what to do.

"Medic kit," he breathes, each puff heavy and wheezed.

You nod, spreading a trail of blood through the house to his bedroom. Collecting the duffle bag in his closet that is filled with a surgeries worth of supplies and running back downstairs, you drop the bag at his side, unzipping it for him.

While you were gone he's torn his ripped shirt off. Among the cuts and scars that already litter his pale chest, he has a deep long cut that runs diagonally down his torso. It looks like basic first aid was already applied, blood-drenched gauze stuck on the worst and deepest parts of it.

"I'm gonna talk you through this," he pants, with a struggled smirk, "Maybe wash your hands first, cause if I die of infection, I'll be pissed." His playful banter feels so out of place, not just for the scene but for him. Although, you're not going to question how he wants to deal with a life-threatening injury, and the ridiculousness of you being the one that needs to help him. If he wants to joke to cope, fine.

Nodding and wide-eyed through the whole run-down, it takes everything you have, but you stay calm and stop yourself from crying.

Thankfully time has seemed to stop the bleeding. As you remove the bandages the lacerations have somewhat clotted. Going step by step, you follow Yoongi's every word. First, you clean the area with a bucket of water and a cloth. Then apply an antibiotic ointment, that smells really gross. Washing your hands once again, you lower beside him, and realize you've only just gotten to the worst of it.

While the bleeding has stopped the cuts above his belly button and his hip are deep enough, the fat is exposed.

"You gonna be able to do this?" Yoongi asks as you hold the needle and thread with a tremble in your hands that is painfully obvious.

You nod, taking a deep breath. But even after 3 more of them, your exhales are still coming out shaky. You are in desperate need to calm down and your sure he can't get mad at you in this circumstance, so you're going to try what you've seen on T.V. Standing, you rummage through the cupboards and pull down a bottle of whisky from the top shelf. Watching Yoongi closely as you open the cork, giving him the chance to stop you. But he doesn't so you gulp down a few mouthfuls, shivering as the taste flows down your chest.

You're not sure if it helped your hands, but you feel a little better. So that's enough.

Returning to his side, slowly Yoongi talks you through suturing the openings. A traumatic experience you hope to never repeat. The sensation of the needing pushing through the layers of skin will surely never leave your head though.

During the stitching, you were surprised that Yoongi didn't flinch or react in any way. You're unsure if it was because the area was numb or because he was restraining himself to not freak you out. But in any case, you were grateful.

After everything and nearly 2 hours, you finally move onto bandaging.

Both of you are now able to slump back, thoroughly exhausted. For the longest time after the final step, neither of you move. You're still horrified, leaning against the wall looking over the armature medical aid you've given Yoongi's chest. Almost feeling a sense of pride through the unrelenting urge to vomit.

"You know," Yoongi grunts, shuffling back, lifting only his head to rest against the same wall. "If you wanna finish early and talk now, I think you've earned it." He chortles dryly, with a straight line smile.

Wiping the sweat from your forehead with the back of your wrist, you laugh uncomfortably. Honestly, after this, you'll be happy to have the next week without speaking.

Vampire! Hoseok

You couldn't take much more of this.

It was endless and he was ruthless.

Night after night Hoseok was coming to you. Drinking from you, hurting you in so many ways, and leaving you. If you were lucky, he'd remember to feed you his blood before he left. If not, he'd let you remain broken, making you suffer through the day.

With everything that you had to endure, you were tired of being tired. Exhausted of being exhausted. Scared and sad all the time, and hating a life from which you had no means of escape. But even with all of this, you were still holding out hope that there had to be some way to lessen your suffering. You had to believe that if you wanted to keep your sanity. You just had to figure out what he wanted.

So far you had seen no depth to him. All you had learnt was that he enjoyed your misery too much. It was like a game to him. Every sound you made, every cry, every time you begged or screamed at him, or fought him, it would only encourage him. He was trying to coax a reaction, to draw out your fear. And with no other form of control, you wanted to see what would happen if you took that away from him.

You theorized that if you did he would get more vicious, but then he would get bored. Best case scenario; he would let you go. Worst case; he would kill you. And somewhere in the middle; he would keep you only for your blood. But any of these were better than the hell you were living in now.

So partly with a plan in mind, and partly out of sheer exhausted terror, you stopped speaking. It was going to be impossible to stop all sounds. There was no way you could stop yourself from screaming or crying or reacting, but you could control the words that came out of your mouth.

And for over 2 weeks now, you haven't uttered a single word.

With the sun high in the sky and being ready to sleep, you come back to your room, jolting as you open the door. Seeing Hoseok sitting on the bed.

In an unnatural flash, he's behind you, goosebumps prickling on the back of your neck. Grabbing a chunk of your hair he jerks and twists you, moving you to face him. His other hand comes up pressing his fingers into your cheeks harshly enough to make your mouth open. Keeping your jaw spread, he moves and tugs your head inspecting inside at all angles.

"Hmm, I was just checking if I cut your tongue out and forgot. But it's there." he uses his hold on your face to throw you back. Crashing you to the floor. "So you're choosing not to speak to me." He chuckles eerily.

As soon as you hit the floor, you scramble to your feet. Struggling to do so with an injured leg, but knowing it's safer to not let yourself remain on the ground or he'll most likely stomp on you.

You croak quickly silence yourself, forcing yourself to not speak and maintain your desperate strategy. Bracing yourself instead like you're facing a wild animal.

He marches forward, grabbing the arm you hold out. You'd rather he break your limbs than your organs. But he uses the arm to yank you forward, his right fist hooking broadly, your head snapping to the side, blood flying from your mouth. "Still not going to speak baby?" He yanks you back, hitting you in the exact same way. And a third time, your mouth gushing blood inside and out. "Are you trying to hurt my feelings?" He laughs switching his target, this time aiming at your torso. Each time dragging you back into place so he can properly hit you again.

Smacking the back of his hand into your head, he lets your fly into the floor this time. Clicking his tongue as he squats, hovering over you. "Baby, it's not as fun when you're not begging me to stop," he says icily. "Maybe I'm not hurting you enough."

Finally, he's giving you the assurance that you were right. Which means just like you thought, he's threatening to become more vicious. So you can endure that, or you can try something extra and see what happens when you outrightly give him everything he already takes.

Gently and so very carefully you lift your arm to his chest, gradually and painfully getting yourself onto your knees. Watching you do so with such difficulty and while you're trying to maintain eye contact with him, Hoseok is too amused to interrupt you.

With the taste of blood flowing from your mouth, you lean in nervously, expecting at any moment to have your body broken in two. Your heart thumps enough to hurt as you lightly kiss him. Leaving a stamp of your blood on his lips. Too scared to even blink as you monitor him. With a curious expression in his eye, he licks lips clean, a trace of a smile raising the corners of his mouth.

Not receiving a negative reaction you continue. Hoisting yourself up again you begin to kiss him slowly, your tongue flicking his lips encouraging him to open his mouth. Deepening the kiss the moment he does. Kissing your blood between the two of you.

Your hands are shaking, your legs are trembling, and you feel sick with fear, but he seems to be stable. And it seems to be working. As tenderly as you kiss him, he is kissing you back the same.

After several minutes and as the pain of holding yourself up gets to be too much, you lower down, terrified that any movement could evoke a change in his response. Keeping your eyes fixed on him, you tie your hair back into a messy bun.

The smirk on Hoseok's face is fully grown as he watches you with complete intrigue. You've never been the one to initiate anything and he is beguiled by your actions.

Coming back to the same height you don't return to kissing him, instead you press your chest to his, clinging one hand into his shirt to keep you balanced, and the other wrapping around his neck to bring his mouth down to your shoulder. It's a wordless invitation that he accepts eagerly, sinking his fangs into the slope of your neck. Too sore and tired to cry out, you can only pant through the bite.

As he drinks, your hands drop and his tighten around you to keep you up. But the second he's done, he releases you and lets you fall to the carpet.

Your eyes open as you hear the bedroom door. However, you see Hoseok stall. Pursing his lips while looking over his shoulder at you. To your surprise, he turns back and in a delicate manner you did not think possible from him, he lifts you up, carrying you to your bed.

Tilting your head up, he presses his lips to yours and your first thought is one of dread. Assuming that he's not finished and he only came back to have sex with you, thinking how much it's going to hurt in your condition.

Pushing his tongue into your mouth you can feel right away that the blood pouring into your mouth is not yours but his. His tongue lapping yours, feeding you his blood the same way you did to him. Healing you in a way he never has before.

Steadily you can feel all your cuts and breaks startling to heal. Clarity returning to your sight and your breath again flowing easily. As your energy returns you begin to reciprocate the kiss. Both out of a feeling of success and clinging on to the taste of his blood, which has come to trigger a feeling of relief within you. Having attached the flavour with the sensation of having your pain taken away.

Abruptly, Hoseok pulls away, getting up without another word or look. Leaving you alone, laying in shock.

It was a reaction unlike any you had expected, but for the very first time, he was damn near humane. So you would have to try that again and see if lightning strikes twice.

Playboy! Jimin

"Ta-da" Jimin bursts into the bedroom with a small black paper bag in his hand and a massive smile on his face. He jumps on the corner of the bed snatching the remote from you and turning the tv off with a click over his shoulder. "Look, Angel." He hands it over, putting the gift in your lap.

Looking down at it, you sigh internally, leaning back you choose to pointedly ignore it. Resting your head against the headboard, you close your eyes.

Lifting the bag by the handles Jimin swings it between his fingers over your head trying to place it in your eye line. "Look, your favourite." He shakes the brand in your face, the joy in his eyes gently fading into guilt.

For 5 days now, you had been stuck in bed. During an argument about your job, Jimin was once again trying to convince you to quit. His points were the same as always. That you didn't need a job because he could pay for you. That you lived with him, and he would buy you heaven and earth. He meant it in a sweet romantic way, but you couldn't help but take it in a 1910 housewife kind of way. You knew that mostly the reason he wanted you out of work was that he was very greedy with you and hated you being around other people. He didn't like that you weren't there to keep him company and entertain him at all times.

Honestly, those 8 hours out of the house, even though you were down to 3 days a week, were so revitalizing. Jimin could be a lot of work. And he was getting more and more controlling about who you saw and when you could see them. Apart from work, it had been 3 months since he last let you go out or see any of your friends by yourself. And you were fighting to hold onto this last little bit of freedom.

However, you will admit in the attempt at making your point solid, you said something incredibly stupid. He said he paid for everything, and you said you needed your own money in case you ever wanted to leave him. And he took that about as well as you'd expect.

"Come on, this isn't fair." Jimin pouts. "I said I'm sorry."

What really wasn't fair was that he hit you, kicked you, and screamed at you. Demanding you apologize and promise to never leave him. But you were coughing up blood, too dazed to even comprehend his words at the time. And when you didn't answer he growled you can't leave if you can't walk as he threw you down the stairs.

It's only by a miracle that you weren't injured as permanently as he intended, but still, he had done plenty of harm. Your ribs and stomach were black and purple. Your face was cut up with your lips split and your jaw swollen. Your arm and hip were also deeply bruised and sore. But with all of this, you truly have no idea the full extent of the damage because Jimin refuses to let you go to the hospital.

So, due to your injuries and your own principles, you hadn't spoken to Jimin since you woke up.

The first day he was remorseful and apologetic. He pleaded and begged for you to forgive him. He tried to hold you and love you and take care of you, but despite the pain and the fact that you really couldn't take care of yourself, you refused him at every turn. On the second day, he was already becoming annoyed that you wouldn't let him near you and kept ignoring him, and on the third day, he yelled at you for being difficult, trying to put the blame for his reaction on you. Yesterday, when he saw that gaslighting you wasn't getting him what he wanted, he went back to being sweet and doting, having had better luck with guilting you in the past.

This means today when his presents don't earn him your forgiveness, he should be right on track to getting pissy again.

He pulls a small box out of the bag, flicking it open. "Ta-da," he smiles. Only to be met once more with your active avoidance. "Look," he whines holding the ring box up but your eyes are closed. "Y/n look!" He barks.

You're not going to, though. He always does this. Buys you something to resolve his guilt. And if for even a moment you express gratitude or pleasure in it, he takes it as complete forgiveness. Then when you haven't actually absolved him, he accuses you of being difficult or a spoiled bitch. Even ignoring him you know he's going to make a problem of that too, but at least this way he will have to keep suffering in his shame.

During the last few days, you've been thinking hard about why you're with Jimin. For a moment, you even thought about packing your things in the middle of the night and leaving him. Moving back in with your old housemate, returning to full-time work and picking up your life where you left it. But thinking that, even with everything bad Jimin can do, it hurt your heart.

He's yours. And out of all of the people in the world, you're his.

Really there weren't too many times that he freaked. And he only did it because he loved you too much, or because you said something cruel like you did this time. No, most of the time he was so sweet. He listened to you, and he really cared about everything you had to say. Even the smallest problems he wanted to help with. He was normally so kind and gentle and he treated you like a princess.

No matter how hard you looked you would never find anyone who treated you like Jimin did.

So even when he lost his temper, you knew you just needed to hold out, because soon everything would return to regular.

This time he just overdid it. And that's why you were punishing him by not speaking to him. Because you knew it was important to stand up for yourself.

There's a flurry of sudden movement and a hefty bang across the room. Your eyes jumping open, Jimin has thrown the ring and the box into the wall. His frustration exploding in a rampage as he attacks your makeup table. Sweeping everything off it, stomping on anything fragile that hits the floor. Throwing the table over he hurls it into the wall, finishing it off by booting his shoe into the mirror over and over until it cracks.

Turning back to you, his hands curled up by his side, it's unnervingly apparent that he is fighting to restrain himself. Even now, as you lay in bed broken, in his rage he is still considering hitting you again.

But you're pretty sure he won't.

Jimin has just never been good at dealing with consequences and he is worse at dealing with the guilt that comes because of his actions. Without you pardoning him, he's going mental. Which is good, because that means he's learning.

"Whatever," he yells, "just fucking forget it." Barging out of the room he slams the door ferociously behind him.

He may be acting harsh, but you know that more than likely he will be going out to replace everything he just damaged. And he'll buy you something even better than a ring to say he's sorry.

And as long as he doesn't hit you again, you'll know that he really is sorry and in a couple more days when your mouth is healed, you will be able to forgive him. Then the two of you can move on from this and it will be as perfect as it can be.

[merakiui]

welcome to the day a duck ruins your perception of items in genshin impact. i uh. made some items in genshin impact as yandere boys and what they're like sort of?? you could try and burn your eyes now. ;) adepti seekers stove- he's going to be a tsundere no buts or uhts. he's the type of yandere that's trying to be protective and failing miserably everytime. so being impatient and angsty. so, he resorts in kidnapping you instead. but hey look on the bright side! even when you're kidnapped you can have delicious meals and snacks! secretly likes to cook for you a lot, but he won't admit it even in death. just don't question why there's a lingering scent of sleeping potions in your meal and you'll be good as jolly jee! probably wants you to help him in the kitchen, since he once heard that couples do that. would probably give you self esteem issues down the line. "didn't i tell you to not get hurt? are you that much of an idiot?? here. have this it'll lessen the pain just a bit so we can walk back home. just drink it already." windsong lyre- smug bastard, smug shit. he's probably a player or just overly dramatic with everything. maybe he's righteous or something.. likes to show off his music skills a lot. he sucks at it tho. gaslights you probably in public places to add more pressure, because people are staring like you're having a performance or something. calls you love even if he's pissed at you for not listening to him, or accusing him of being toxic or suspecting him of being your stalker that always watches you from your window at 2am! would make you paranoid a lot. loves kissing your cheek and tickling you. he's a closeted pervert. you're gonna have to move in an isolated place too, he will spread rumours of you being his lover. "love, I'm sure that you're just overreacting. plus even if i was the stalker that you're talking about I wouldn't be oh so casually talking to you in public when I could've been hiding! jeez it's like your going crazy." wind-blessed harpastrum- such sweety! just so wholesome bakes you a pie in tuesday sweet. seems patient too but beware he will break your legs when you get a little bit too bratty for his tastes. touch starved too and it shows, that's why he loves to cuddle you lots! really obsessed with what you think of him. if you say you hate him he'll tear up and try to convince you that he's good, but if you pretend that you like him he'll shower you with uncomfortable affection and confessions. really great at making bombs and torture weapons too. probably sewed in a bomb inside your body threatened that he will kill you with it if you leave. bad at darts and archery. if you say that to him he'll laugh and take out his diploma saying that he's too smart for those childish games. he's impulsive in decision making. "haha. you know. you almost escaped from me back there. but hey! now you won't do anything stupid like that ever again if you can't walk." windblume balloon: listen man. im going to be killed but he's an airhead, pun intended right there. probably lowkey manipulative and doesn't even know it yet or chooses to ignore it. protective of you a lot. really delusional to the point that he rationalizes your escape as someone kidnapping you. so say goodbye to whoever poor stranger who was trying to help you escape they'll be greeted by an arrow through their head once he finds you. has a habit of holding your hand because he's afraid you might disappear from his line of sight and leave him all alone. if you let go tho he'll gorilla grip your hand, might crush it too. just very overprotective. he also doesn't know that he's an airhead. yeah."hm? why do i like holding you hand..? i just like it.. your hand makes me feel... uh. safe..? is that the word for it? ah. it was the word loved." wind catcher- he's a full on sadist. throw all of your escape plans out the window, this guy will climb a mountain and ride any wind current available to catch and torture you. persistently trying to make you like him atleast a bit. yeah, he's that kind of delusional. would teasingly push you

of a cliff as a 'light' punishment. dark humour and likes to joke about killing you from time to time. note: he can kill you. and he would also do it by ripping you in half with the wind current so just stay in his house and be a good lover that'll shower him in kisses, okay? okay. he mostly sees you as a tool of interest, but not just any tool- you're his favourite tool. "pfft! hey stop crying now! you're making me feel bad! hm? oh? why am i doing this? well i mean maybe I'm angry that someone was trying to escape. again." warming bottle- he will absolutely leave you in the cold if you were being a brat towards him. lives in dragonspine to spite you, also because he can just turn take away your blankets and anything that can give warmth so you gotta ask him to cuddle you to survive. he usually does this when he's feeling a little petty. which is so frequent. that you can almost give it a schedule. but don't tell him that. kind of a tsundere but only when it comes to physical affection since he's shy. that's why he has to take away your blankets so it looks like he's just mocking you but not because he's touch starved. he's not at home that much too but don't worry, he will make it up to you by uh.. physical activities.. "what? you're freezing? no shit we're in dragonspine. oh? you want me to hug you..? hm. fine. I'll indulge you for a bit. I am quite merciful." parametric transformer- businessman that scams you a lot lol. he's going to be a masochist because i said so, yeah i know the electric stone thing gag that's why i made him a masochist. really likes to collect useless stuff and spoiling you, so expect your room to be filled with a lot of random things from jewelry to mushrooms and crabs. has a you should be grateful i even give stuff mindset. thinks that giving someone something of vaue would make them fall in love with him instantly. also probably loves it when you fight back especially when you successfully land a hit on him, he will enjoy it. but be careful he has different responses whenever you hit him. pick your poison. spends a ton of resources on everything to keep you in line. that rope costed him 700 pinecones. "why do you even wanna escape? i give you a ton of stuff so you won't get bored! hah. maybe if i had picked up someone else they would've been grateful." portable waypoint- throw out your escape plans the season sequel. he's very quiet but has a small temper that won't last that much. maybe he's like that since he tries so hard to repress it. listen he's trying okay? escape always fails so quickly. one minute you're in springvale shouting, crying, begging for anyone to help you and then back to his house to see him sipping some tea. his punishments are cruel too- he makes sure to leave you in a den of monsters and ruin guards, waits until your in the brink of death and teleports you back to him. has a superiority complex over everyone too. probably likes to make you feel weak when you have to rely on him. loves to crush your self esteem. wants to be affectionate but thinks that you, as an inferior being, should be affectionate with him instead. so tsun. "see? this is what i was trying to tell you. you're too weak to actually survive out there. you even had to rely on me to save you. pathetic." memento lens- mysterious and elegant. he's quite cryptic to say the least. likes to watch you from a far if he's feeling a bit angsty. you try to make sense of what he says and it just leads to you being confused even more. and he likes that about you. you actually try to understand him, even if what you guess is wrong. you're going to have a tough time with this guy if you wanna escape. just avoid any fox statues and you'll be good. the problem is the shrine maidens. they basically want the two of you to end up together so they don't have to deal with him. he's actually very gentle with you punishments still suck but atleast he doesn't do it physically, he just makes you write that you're sorry over and over until your wrist are tired. loves poetry and solving puzzles, riddles, scriptures. he's

smart but soft. "spring blossoms even in the darkest depths of uncertainty, is that why you have the courage to try and escape me..?" kamera- perfectionist stalker. wants to make sure that the photos he takes of you are perfect to every extent. colour, lighting, and expressions. even if it means going inside your room and having the possibility of waking you up from your sleep. likes to take pictures of everything too. kind of like this; both of you are walking somewhere and he stops to take a picture of a sunset. he takes twenty minutes trying to find the correct angle. but the sun is already gone so he sulks. maybe- you can cheer him up by volunteering to be his model? you'll do that? right? also worships you like a god so if someone dared to even say something breath near you or celestia forbid insult you, best to say they'll be quickly disposed of by blackmail and fake shit. would not steal any of your belongings, he would just take pictures of it. so he's not that bad. "i consider everything in this world is beautiful, but you have surpassed that. so that is why im keeping you here. no one deserves even a glimpse of you!" waverider toolbox- he's such a gentlemen and a sweetheart. always there to help you with repairs, sometimes he'd add some updates to it too. just ignore the stuff going missing inside your boat thing. he probably guilt-gaslight you into staying with him in his waverider then bam your in an island stranded. ahaha, now both of you just have to survive by working together ya know? like a loving couple likes hugs and physical affection a lot! bonus points if it's given when he's tired from doing his job. as i said tired guy so appreciates all the things you do for him whether it's paying for his meal or giving him a gift. next time, he'll make sure that you won't leave the island permanently. thinks that stranded island equals date smh. " ahh? oh! is this for me? really? thank you.. i don't usually receive gifts but that just makes this even more special! say, do you wanna go on a trip? i just fixed the waverider from last time." red feather fan- mischievous little shit. likes to scare you a lot by appearing on trees and just jumping on you. knows that you're trying to escape but pretends not to since he likes to try and guess which direction you would run to. hugs you a lot even before he kidnaps you really touchy even if you say no he'll use the good ol puppy eyes! doesn't work? okay he'll just smell your clothes when you're sleeping as compensation. he likes to flirt with you a lot. some pickup are cheesy.. but others are a little- personal? acts cool by making a dramatic entrance everytime even. you know those radical superhero landing stuff? that's him. he would build a nest as your house even being a dick and placing it on top of a mountain, goodluck on trying to get down. "caught you! going to the shore was so predictable by the way. maybe you should try a different place next time, dear? hm? maybe a restaurant so we can have date? sounds great right?" serenitea pot- unhinged malewife that wants to make a the perfect living space for you- ehem. probably a perfectionist if you squint hard enough. he's delusional but just a little lucid about the stuff he does to you. likes to make a ton of furniture too! personalized the room you're trapped in with a ton of valuable and expensive materials. just don't try to escape he'll cut your limbs off just like a damn tree shawtie. owns a shit ton of pets ranging from boars to cats. all of them are like bodyguards to you during your stay. dreams about having a peaceful life with you in the realm someday, sigh. he sometimes has burnouts where he just places a bunch of furniture on a single room and call it a day. "and here is your room! do.. do you like it? i made it just for you! i didn't know what wood you would prefer so i just settled on whatever i can find! ahaha. we're kind of like a married couple living together now... right?" nre menu- he's probably going to be from the adventurers guild. really awkward and shy. takes for him a long time to

open up to you. when going on quests he's the one in charge of carrying the food and healing shit you need. really patient and nice! slightly uh mean with other people trying to talk to you but other than that everything is normal. everything is normal the long loving gaze he gives you every now and then and some food being left on your doorstep. yeah let's not question it i mean he's just so shy! he would never do anything wrong? right?? he's a closeted pervert, cliche i know but he's a pervert with a line to not cross. he just checks you out. good for him. would cry if given any ounce of affection. sweet baby. "t-that was a tough commission.. oh u-uh.. do you need some food to replenish your energy? we need to do the other commissions you know.. hm? why aren't you eating it.. something wrong with the food..?" seelies- spoiled. that's the word to describe him. really straight forward with his courting kind of dumb? but he's so damn lucky for some unknown reason that your plans to avoid him always fail. yeah the high quality rope you just bought for 1000 mora? it broke and you fell into his arms. he's probably rich by sheer dumb luck too. finds a ton treasure chests even in the places you didn't expect. people pressure you into spending time with him. since he's just so cute! how could say no to such a face? it really feels like the gods are on his side ya know? he throws a lot of very very aggressive tantrums if you're not with him. thinks he's doing a good job at courting you, with rationalize rejection as a playing hard to get. "tada! look i got you this crystal i found while i was walking! it looks like a diamond and it has a ton of colours too?? is it valuable?? would you kiss me if i give it to you??" endora- majestic, regal, and likes to explore a lot. he uh. probably trapped you in a bubble once or twice too. really curious about his surroundings, also has no personal space since it's first time going out. he would cuddle you when he feels like it homie. kidnapped you and made you his tour guide. don't try to fool him he learns quickly about stuff. fast swimmer, so no joining any expeditions in water if you don't want their ship to be wrecked by a mysterious being of the teyvat seas. he likes to see you cry. it's not a kink he just feels connected to you when you cry. doesn't have a house so you just live in a run down boat. he's doesn't know when you're lying to him sometimes. god complex bastard. "this world. at first i wasn't sure if i was going to like it or not, but ever since I've met you... I've grown to tolerate some parts.. so you should be thankful, you've convinced me. mortal." intertwined fate/older twin- listen. he's just so smug about everything he does. and he knows you love him. probably invites you out on dinner only for him to not show up. so basically he's an asshole without a doubt. toxic boyfriend that gives you false hope and has a ton of admirers. you probably think he won't settle for you right? ah, he's not that cruel. so picks you as his lover out of all the billions of people. you should be grateful! he even kidnapped you! do you know how hard it was for him to go all the way from his home to yours? anyways yeah. asshole. he likes to do the open the door for darling trick where he just gives you a small crack on the door and watch you make a decision. it's an act of your loyalty. if you escape he'll make you feel pain. if you don't then he'll reward your patience. god complex bastard 2."sigh. did you try to escape? again? patience is the key to everything you know. maybe you should learn that. i expected more smart from you." acquaint fate/younger twin- cinnamonroll he's such a sweet guy. he's always there for you when you need him. okay- he has a nice guy complex, fucking damn it. probably uses the but I've been there for you since the start trick unintentionally a lot. he just doesn't know he wants some action, so be thankful that he didn't just jump on you like a barbarian. he's kind of contradicting himself too. one hand he wants you to love him, on the other hand he doesn't

believe he deserves you. loves to give you the same things, remember that one painting you liked from two years ago? he got you that. quantity beats quality. surprisingly, he's really patient but would have bursts of anger every now and then. has a self value issues?? yeah, but did i tell you he's a touch starved guy. punshments are just him softly lecturing you about what's good and what's wrong."i always viewed myself as inferior, that i didn't deserve anything.. but this time. i want to be greedy just once." that's it- :'D i haven't proofread this but here you go mer! ill probably continue with more humanisations of items in genshin later.. if you ask why i ruined your day with this crazy idea i was watching that one video of a person humanising social media and got this idea. also i discovered how to bold out texts... i have power..ejwjdhshaj

so yeah have a great day! -🦆anon

I AM IN AWE?!?! WHOA OMG!!!!! 🦆, THIS IS FANTASTIC!! AAAAAA (≧∀≦)

All of the various characterizations… *chef’s kiss* It’s literally so good! With each one I read I kept thinking okay this guy is my favorite and then I would read the next description and my heart was stolen again. I can’t pick a favorite now. T_T

[avnkin]

THE BET ( jj maybank. )

Chapter 8 - Intoxicating

word count: 2k

warnings: mentions of sex, foul language, alcohol & the usual dash of angst

author’s note: it’s been a while but i’m getting my inspo back finally lmao hope you enjoy this chapter gif is by @heapass also veins oml

series masterlist

You and JJ hadn’t spoken a word to each other after what had happened. You’d just laid silently in his bed, listening to each other’s heavy breaths as you got your heartbeat to slow down from your previous endeavours.

“So what does this mean?” JJ was the first to break the silence as he rolled over to look up at you.

“Uh- i’m not sure, do you want this to mean something?” you hesitantly asked moving down a little so you were at eye level with each other.

“Yeah I do, but I think I may need some time to get over you and Rafe- I just can’t get the image of you two together out of my head”

That sentence made your blood boil, even if you wanted to get back together you weren’t about to let him blame you for everything that went wrong in your relationship.

“JJ are you being serious right now? It’s not like I cheated on you, we were broken up when I kissed Rafe!” you chided getting out of the bed, covering your naked body with his bed sheets.

“I don’t care and I wouldn’t have minded it as much if it had been anyone but Rafe! He’s made all of our lives living hells for the last year- I mean he nearly cost Pope his job! So it’s not because you made out with someone it’s who it was with!” JJ snapped back getting out of bed after you, quickly pulling on his boxers.

“You’re such an asshole! I don’t even know how I thought of getting back together with you!” you retorted hastily walking around the room in an attempt to find your clothes.

Once you finally managed to get fully dressed you went to unlock the door but JJ pulled you back before you could leave.

You quickly snatched your hand out of his grasp not giving him a chance to talk “give me a call once you’ve decided to stop being a self absorbed asshole” you grumbled slamming his bedroom door shut in his face.

You stormed out of the chateau still adjusting your clothes, when Kiara pulled into the driveway with Pope and John B, perfect timing.

“Hey-“ Pope started but was cut off by you crashing into his shoulder as you stormed past your three clueless friends.

“What was that about” Pope questioned turning to Kiara and John B who stood there, bewildered at your sudden outburst.

“Fuck” Kiara mumbled once she remembered the reason you’d been here in the first place, practically running into the chateau to find JJ.

“What the hell happened!?” Kiara shrieked as she pushed open the door into JJ’s room who just shook his head and let himself fall down onto his mattress.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” he shrugged her off not bothering to look up at her.

“Don’t give me that bullshit JJ, I drove Y/N here earlier so you two could make up and then I see her practically crying running out of here so what happened!”

“It didn’t work out alright! We’re not getting back together and we’re not gonna be friends again, okay!?”

“was that your decision or hers?” Kiara countered.

“Hers! or- I mean I just told her that it would take time to get over the thing with Rafe and she just lost it!”

“JJ are you kidding me? You dated her for a bet and she was able to forgive you for that and you’ve got the audacity to be mad at her for something she did when you were broken up! Come on JJ you’re better than that”

“But its Rafe-“ Kiara quickly cut him off.

“I know! Do you think I like the fact she chose him of all guys to be with? But she was hurting because she thought that the guy she really wanted was only with her for money, you both need to sort your shit out because this is getting really tiring for all of us” she spoke gesturing towards her, Pope and John B who stood in silence behind her clearly taken aback by her words.

JJ scoffed not bothering to respond simply pulling a shirt over his head and walking past the three pogues towards the front door.

“You’re just gonna leave?” Kiara chided following after him “yeah I am” he replied coldly before slamming the door shut in her face.

Tears were furiously running down your cheeks as you walked the road down the cut that lead to figure 8.

Deciding to walk home maybe hadn’t been the brightest idea you had, it was so hot you thought you were going to pass out but you refused to spend another minute with JJ.

A sudden honk from behind you made you jerk around, only picking up your pace when you saw Wards all to familiar jet black Range Rover, not needing to guess twice as to who was sat in the drivers seat.

“Y/N?” Rafe leaned out the window as he pressed on the break just enough so he was able to drive alongside you.

“Go away” you replied curtly beginning to walk even faster although you knew your chances of outrunning a car were not in your favor.

“Come on Y/N let me drive you home you’re gonna melt out here in this heat” he sounded sincere his eyebrows contorting, silently begging for you to get into the car.

You came to an abrupt halt as you turned to face him arm crossed over your chest. You had two options one walk home in the burning heat which would probably take you around two hours or get into the car with Rafe and have to endure his company for 10 minutes.

You went with the latter huffing before pulling the door handle and getting into the car without a word, although you couldn’t contain the moan that slipped past your lips once the cool air from the AC met your flaming skin.

“Y/N I just wanted to-“ he began but you cut him off raising your index finger towards his face “stop I don’t wanna hear it just drive me home” he nodded obviously disappointed but kept on driving either way.

Once you pulled into your driveway he gave you one last pleading look but you didn’t give him a chance to talk muttering a small thanks before slipping out of the passenger seat and slamming the car door shut in his face.

You were in desparate need of a shower your sweaty skin beginning to stick to the shirt that loosely hung over your body.

You decided to push all thoughts of JJ into the back of your mind as you turned the shower on wanting nothing more than to take back the fact that you’d gone and slept with him.

“Idiot” you mumbled shaking your head the warm water travelling down your body the only comfort you felt you needed right now.

Just as you began to feel the corner of your eyes brim with tears you were startled to hear the bathroom door open.

“What the hell!” you shrieked once you saw Kiara walk in with a large purple backpack slung over her shoulder.

“That door was locked!” you yelled hurriedly grabbing a towel and wrapping it around yourself.

“I know that’s why I have a knife” she deadpanned before placing the silver object she’d obviously stolen from your kitchen on the bathroom counter.

“What do you want Kie?” you huffed finally stepping fully out of the shower and onto the white tiled floor.

“You, me” she lifted up the backpack she’d been holding “and our dear friend vodka”

“I love you” you gushed grabbing the bag out of her hands and walking into your bedroom gently placing it on your bed.

“What’s the occasion?” you turned to face her “the occasion is a party down at the cut” she smiled sitting down on your bed unzipping the bag revealing the numerous amount of white claws and the huge bottle of vodka.

“God are you trying to kill me? you know i’m a lightweight” you gaped at the numerous beverages but still grabbed a white claw quickly opening it and taking a large sip.

“Who said any of this was for you” she raised an eyebrow an amused smile playing at her lips “shut up” you laughed.

“You owe me this whole thing is your fault” you took another sip out of the can before it was harshly ripped away from you the liquid spilling all over your arm.

“Oh so it’s my fault you hooked up with Rafe” Kiara placed a hand on her hip as she held the white claw up with her other hand.

“No” you snatched the drink back before continuing “it’s your fault that I went to JJ’s which ultimately led to the decision of me sleeping with him and making a complete fool of myself in the progress”

“Fair enough” she surrendered “get ready we need to be down at the beach in half an hour”

Once you’d made it down to the beach you’d already downed four white claws and three shots the alcohol running through your veins making you feel dizzy as you walked alongside Kie towards the crowd of teenagers all packed together around the keg watching as a girl you didn’t recognised stood in a handstand downing the beer without a struggle.

“I could do that” you slurred Kiara’s head turning in the direction you were looking “no you couldn’t” she chuckled dragging you towards John B and Pope who looked beyond shocked to see you.

“Y/N?” John B looked almost panicked as he abruptly stood up his eyes frantically beginning to dart all over the beach before stopping and widening as he looked at something behind you.

You turned to where his eyes were directed and you were horrified at the sight before you. There he was none other than JJ Maybank himself with his tongue shoved down some girls throat.

“That asshole!” you practically growled throwing the white claw you held down onto the sand as you made a bee line towards him, Kiara frantically picking up the can before following after you.

“Real classy J” you sneered a scowl resting on your face as you gave him the most disgusted look you could muster.

“Y/N” was all he said as he turned to face you, he didn’t even look sorry.

“So this is your way of trying to repair our relationship” you shot at him and the girl quickly stood up practically running away from the scene unfolding before her.

“Hey i’m just doing what you’ve been doing all along” he replied curtly standing up to face you.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean JJ” you were surprised at your ability to form a whole sentence since you didn’t exactly see straight, but this whole exchange seemed to be sobering you up.

“I saw you earlier getting into that car with Rafe!”

“What? you were following me?”

“Yes! Because I wanted to come and apologise for how I acted but clearly I was right all along!”

“JJ I didn’t ask him for a ride or call him he offered and I accepted because because I didn’t really feel like walking all the way from the cut back home in the burning heat!” a hint of regret washed over his face at your words but you continued “It doesn’t even matter I don’t have to explain myself to you”

He was about to open his mouth and say something but you didn’t give him the chance. “We’re over and this time I mean it”

You suddenly became more aware of the crowd that had begun to gather around you and you quickly turned around pushing your way past the teenagers that were huddled behind you.

“Are you okay?” a frantic voice belonging to Kiara sounded from beside you.

You swallowed the lump that was beginning to form in your throat and turned to face her pasting on a fake smile as you did.

“I’m fine” you knew she didn’t buy it but she could tell from the look in your eyes that you were silently begging her not to press on it any further, you wanted to have fun tonight and you were not going to let JJ get in the way of that.

“Come on let’s get drunk”

[xiaoderys]

❝ Saturated Sunrise ❞ (l.dh, n.jm) I

DISCONTINUED

pairing: haechan x reader, jaemin x reader

genre: crack, fluff, angst, possible smut soulmate!au, college!au, social media!au mixed WITH narrative

warnings: swearing, slightly suggestive with possible smut in future chapters

word count: 2.5K

parts: prologue , character-profile, I

synopsis: you gradually lose your ability to see colors as you fall out of love with donghyuck

you were red and you liked me because I was blue. but you touched me and suddenly was a lilac sky. then you decided purple just wasn't for you.

You’ve always loved the rain, unlike your boyfriend who would squirm whenever a single drop touches his golden skin, but then again, who could blame him? he was like the sun; a ball of roaring fire that could never learn to love its polar opposite. But you on the other hand, could never hate it even if you tried, there was just something about it, maybe it’s the tranquility of it, the smell, the aesthetic or the fact that it brings you back to the very night you met Hyuck.

It’s quite funny really, you’d think these only happened in movies and tv shows yet there you were, soaking wet and walking side by side with a boy you barely knew under an umbrella that barely covered you both.

You sighed deeply while looking through the glass windows of the convenience store and up at the dark sky, the rain was pouring and you figured it won’t be stopping any time soon.

You didn’t have your umbrella with you but it was already past 10pm so after a few minutes of internally arguing with yourself, you got out of your seat, walked out and pulled your bag above your head to somehow shield yourself from the rain.

new instagram post from Donghyuck, 1 new text from mom, 6 new notifications from bible study

open? Yes / No

As you took your first few steps outside, you heard the bell ring from behind you, signaling that there was someone going in/out of the store.

You didn’t mind it at first but you heard someone yell “Hey, wait up!” no one else was around so you assumed the person was calling out for you and stopped in your tracks.

You turned around to look and just as you do, a car sped right in front of you which caused the rain water from the ground to be splashed all over you.

“Well, fuck” you exhale.

You lowered the bag covering your head as you were already soaking wet from head to toe and wiped your dripping face swearing to yourself that the universe hated you.

As soon as the car passed, the person on the other side of the road, jogged towards you and adjusted his umbrella over your head “What the hell were you thinking?”

You were quite confused as to why this person was suddenly scolding you so you just furrowed your brows at him.

“Walking home without an umbrella in this weather? Are you stupid?”

“Well what do you want me to do? spend the night at 7-eleven?” you didn’t mean to respond with sarcasm but you just got soaked with rain water and this guy who was nagging you while talking just called you stupid which did not help you and your anger issues.

“Better than ending up looking like a wet dog that just played in the mud but I think it’s a little too late for that” he said as he looked you up and down.

“Hey, it’s not my fault! that guy was driving like he’s in grand theft auto!”

“Well if you just stayed back in the store and waited for the storm to at least calm down a little bit then you wouldn’t be in this situation in the first place and I wouldn’t have had to leave my delicious cup of ramen in there all alone” he raised his brow acting as if he made a point.

“No one asked you to do that”

“No one asked me to be so unbelievably hot either but here I am”, you scoffed at his sudden cockiness but you’d rather eat your own arm than feed a man’s ego so you looked at him with a distasteful expression “Just go back to your ramen, I can handle myself”

“Lies. You’ll freeze to death before you could even get half-way home. Here, take this” he took off his jacket and handed it to you.

The cold wind mixed with rain and your wet clothes hit you like a truck bigger than your ego but your stubbornness still got the better of you “I-I don’t need it”

“you’re literally shivering like a little puppy”, he was right but are you going to admit to that? No.

“I bite into my ice cream without feeling a thing and sleep right in front of the air conditioner, I think I’ll be fine”

He poked his tongue in his cheek, showing his annoyance “Why do you have to be so difficult? you’d rather walk home freezing than put your pride aside for a second?” the angrier he got while scolding you, the more he talked in a pout so instead of scaring you into listening, you actually found it a little cute—

“Hey, are you listening?!” thunder struck all of a sudden which made you flinch and Donghyuck swore right then and there that you were the most adorable thing in existence.

After seeing you jump from the thunder, his expression softened and suddenly the rain was pouring heavier than before and you were shivering like crazy. He sighed, and put his jacket over your shoulders himself.

You were gonna take it off and give it back to him but he stopped you “if you take that off, I’ll kiss you” normally, you would love to challenge a bluff but you couldn’t take it anymore, it was so cold and you had no other choice, so you mumbled a quick “fine” and although it didn’t help much, you did feel a lot warmer.

He smiled at you, satisfied with your decision “Great, so where are we headed?”

“We?” you looked up at him confused

“mhmm, were you just expecting me to give you my umbrella and let you go home with my adidas track top?” he said with a ridiculing expression

“pretty much, yeah”

“This is my only umbrella and that jacket costs over a $60, I’m not letting you walk away with it just like that and besides, there are loads of creeps out here”

“$60 for a jacket this thin?” you held up the sides of the jacket wondering how a jacket so thin could cost more than your weeks worth of allowance.

“Yeah, it’s a bit off a rip-off, but that’s not the point, dummy. I’m your only option of getting home safe wether you like it or not”

“You don’t even know me, why do you care so much if something happens?“

“My gentleman nature is truly my biggest flaw-“ you rolled your eyes and turned around, ready to walk away but he held your shoulders back “ah ah, hold on! My mom would never forgive me if she found out I left a girl all alone to walk home in the rain”

You sighed “Fine but no talking, I’ve already used up all my social juice for the day” he nodded cutely and snuggled beside you.

You didn’t get the chance to think about it but he looked around your age and appeared to be a student as well, considering the fact that he wore a tracksuit and was carrying a backpack.

You tried to catch a glimpse of his face every now and then and you weren’t gonna lie, he definitely wasn’t bad looking.

Being a little shorter than him, it gave you the opportunity to study his side-profile; his jaw was quite defined and his features were really soft and he had these insanely fluffy cheeks oh- and you also noticed his plump lips that made it look like he was always pouting.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer” he said with a straight face, not even bothering to look in your direction.

“What?” you widened your eyes, blood rushing to your cheeks due to embarrassment.

“What? you think I haven’t noticed you staring at me for the past five minutes? you’re practically undressing me with your eyes” he playfully rolled his eyes.

You slapped his arm “No, I wasn’t! what’s wrong with you!”

He let out a chuckle, finding your annoyance and the way you turn red when embarrassed very amusing but you on the other hand just stayed with a pout and furrowed brows.

Donghyuck soon realized that you haven’t caught each other’s name yet “so what’s your name?”

“I thought I said no talking”

“Come on, small talk won’t hurt you”

I guess it’s better than walking in awkward silence “I’m y/n”

“Cute. I’m Donghyuck“ he smiled.

Since you were making small talk, you decided to ask about him more “if you don’t mind me asking, are you still a student?”

“A high school junior, yes, you?”

“Oh my god! same!” Donghyuck noticed how you got a little too excited over something so little but little did he know, that your childlike nature was just a sample of your many unforgettable qualities.

“Really? your height is making me think otherwise”

“Hey! My height is average!” you stopped and started to get defensive.

“And it’s not like you could talk, you’re not even that much taller!” that was a lie, he stood a good 7 inches taller than you making him the perfect height to give you forehead kisses.

“Okay mike wazowski, let’s keep it moving”

“Are you really trying to get me mad?!”

You looked so cute with your brows knit together and mouth forming a thin line that Donghyuck just couldn’t help but laugh “No offense but I literally feel like I’m being threatened by a cupcake”

“Do you want to fight?!” and just like that, Donghyuck found his new favorite hobby: annoying the living hell out of you.

“Pftt, what are you gonna do? eat my kneecaps?” he rolled his eyes.

“You know what, take your umbrella, I’m going home on my own!” You were ready to leave and he chuckled “Come onnnnn, I’m just kidding, it’s already-“ he checked his phone for the time “10:57 and I have to be home by midnight”

“Who are you? Cinderella?”

“Yeah but I’m much prettier and charming plus I have a mom who will eat me alive if I stay out too late so let’s get going”

“okay but you have to promise to stop teasing me”

“Alright. I’ll try” and with that you huffed continued with your walk home

You didn’t want to admit it but you really enjoyed Donghyuck’s company, there was just a natural sense of familiarity with him which made you feel at ease.

He would talk about the most random things but no matter what they were, he always found a way to put a smile on your face.

He even talked about his little puppy at home who probably misses him which made you feel bad because the puppy must be so sad right now and here you are, taking up too much of Donghyuck’s time.

You were both so into these conspiracy theories that you didn’t even notice that thirty minutes have passed and you were right in front of you house.

“Well, uhm, this is me” you smiled softly.

“Oh then I guess I’ll get going now” he responded, getting ready to go home.

“Wait uh- thanks for you know, walking me home and stuff.. I’m really sorry for being rude earlier” you looked at the ground, feeling ashamed of how you acted earlier when he was only trying to help.

He chuckled, ruffling your hair “It’s fine, I won’t exactly be very happy either if I got ground water splashed all over me while it’s 10 degrees outside, but you do owe me a cup of ramen”

“Oh come on, that probably only costed like a dollar or something” you whined

“3$ actually and it was a really delicious cup of ramen so I’m gonna have to get your number because I’m not letting this one slide�� if Donghyuck was being honest, he couldn’t give two fucks about the ramen; normally, he’d be really mad about it but the fact that he can use it as an excuse to get your number, made up for it.

“fine” and that was how it all started.

Now, you could’ve called a cab that night or asked someone to come pick you up but you didn’t. Call it fate or your brain just wasn’t working at the time but you sure as hell know it happened for a reason because that’s what brought Hyuck to you.

There are forces in the universe that we don’t understand, measurable forces that can’t be explained but also can’t be denied and nobody gets it but maybe that’s what it was because right here, right now you’re with a distressed Donghyuck because you both forgot your umbrellas and have to take shade under an oak tree.

He hated the rain, he would squirm every time it hit his skin yet he still gave up his jacket to cover you. He continued to scold you because quite frankly, you stopping to pet every single stray animal you saw was the reason why you got caught in the middle of the rain anyway.

“You know, one of these days, one of those strays will bite or scratch you and you’re gonna get rabies” there he was again with his lips in a pout, annoyed by the continuous droplets of rain meeting his golden skin.

“Hmm maybe, but until then, I’m gonna stop to pet every single one I see because all of them deserve love and attention. You know, if it were up to me-“ he cut you off “You’re gonna adopt all the stray animals in the world and take care of them, I know. You literally never fail to mention that” you smiled at how he always seems to never listen to you yet he remembers the little things. But then you noticed that he was shivering “are you cold? do you want your jacket back?”

“no, I’m fine” he exhales.

You furrowed your brows and looked at him with worry and of course he noticed.

“Baby, I’m fine, I swear, all this sexual tension between us from being so close together is enough to keep me warm”

You playfully hit his arm and he chuckled “No, seriously, keep it, you need it more than me” oh, he hated it, he hated it so so much. He wanted to be anywhere with you but there but he wasn’t gonna admit to that and he didn’t want you to worry.

Youu started to talk in a pout, a habit you unconsciously picked up from your boyfriend whenever you were worried “but you’re shivering, can we at least share it?”

Donghyuck knows the jacket would never fit the both of you but he also knows that you’re not one to give up easily, it’s one of his most favorite things about you, except when you’re arguing or playing games because you’re both egotistical assholes yet you’re the only one who can put him in his place and the only one he sets his pride aside for.

You looked at him snuggled right beside you, trying his best to not let the rain touch you and despite the situation being unfavorable, right at this exact moment, everything just felt right and you know you were supposed to be here.

[roxiestranger19]

Comfy

This is my first fanfic. I’m sorry if the writing is bad, I tried my hardest.

Peter Parker and reader

Warnings: fluffy fluff, like one swear word I think, my attempts at comedy

Word count: 4,465

     You and Peter had just started dating so you were still very awkward around him. Every time he complimented you, you blushed hard. You still freaked out whenever he asked to come over or to hangout. You always had to make sure your room looked presentable, brushing your hair and teeth and even flossing. You couldn’t wait until more time went by and you were completely comfortable around him.

    You had gotten a text from him about 10 minutes ago saying he was coming over so you immediately got to it. You picked up the dirty clothes from the floor and threw them into your closet. You hid your embarrassing stuffed animals, that you still needed to sleep with, under your bed and you quickly rushed to the bathroom to brush and floss your teeth and to put on some perfume that you knew he liked. Just as you were walking out of the bathroom you heard a knock on your bedroom door.

    “Y/n. Can I come in?” You heard Peter ask, quickly checking yourself in the mirror one last time.

     “Yeah.” You replied, kicking a stray sock under your bed.  “Who let you in?” Both of your parents were away at a work event.

     “Oh, your sister did.” He replied, looking down to his fidgeting hands. Peter was also a little uncomfortable around you, getting nervous here and there. Definitely not as much as you were but he was still new to the whole relationship thing. MJ was his first relationship and you were his second.

    “So um… what do you want to do?” He asked, looking up at you. God, you loved when he did that. It made him look so innocent, almost puppy-like. Now that you thought about it, Peter Parker was basically a puppy. Something you protect at all costs and something that was so adorable you could melt.

    “Do you want to watch a movie?” You asked, making your way onto your bed, grabbing your laptop from your nightstand.  “We can watch Star Wars.” You said in a sing-song voice, knowing that would have him hooked. You saw his eyes light up and he started to come over.

    “You know I can’t pass that up.” Peter sunk down into the mattress beside you, pulling the covers up over the both of you. You immediately felt very awkward. You and Peter usually watched movies on the couch or he would watch Star Wars on your bed while you did homework. You felt yourself get really hot and your face turn red.

    “I’m gonna go make some popcorn.” You said suddenly, immediately getting up, not even waiting for an answer. Obviously Peter sensed that you were uncomfortable and debated whether to meet you in the kitchen or just to wait until you came back. He heard the microwave beep and the smell of popcorn that soon filled the house.

    You started to look around for a bowl, finally finding one on the top shelf of your pantry. Of course you couldn’t reach it. Why do I have to be so short?

You really didn’t want to ask Peter for help but it was the only way so you did.

    “Peter, can you get this bowl for me?” You yelled

    “Coming.” Peter dashed out of the room, grateful that you made his stay or go decision for him. He met you in the pantry and easily grabbed the bowl for you. He wasn’t that much taller than you, but the extra inches was all he needed to easily reach the bowl.

    “Thanks.” You said, taking the bowl from him. You made your way back to the microwave and removed the bag, careful not to burn yourself. You started to pour it in the bowl when you felt Peter's arms grab around your waist and bring you into a hug.

    “Peter!” You cried, blushing hard. “You’re going to make me spill it.” You held onto his arms as he swayed softly.

   “Your hair smells nice.” You felt butterflies in your stomach as he nuzzled into your neck. Why’d he have to be so sweet and cute all the time? There was never a minute around him that you weren’t blushing at something he said or did. He squeezed you tighter, making you squirm a bit.

  “Peter, let me go!” You squealed, trying to get free.

  “Nope! You’re stuck with me!” He replied squeezing you even tighter. You were so distracted with Peter's death hug that neither of you realized your sister watching you

     “Um? Can I get a drink please?” Mia asked, gesturing to her cup. Both of you scrambled quickly out of the hug and your checks felt red.

     “Oh! Uh… yeah, sorry.” You replied, nervously crossing your arms in front of your chest. Peter was standing beside you, fidgeting with his hands. You noticed that whenever he was nervous or embarrassed he would do that and you thought it was the cutest thing. You quickly went back to pouring the popcorn into the bowl, glaring at Peter when he stole some.

    “Save some for the movie!” You said, shoving him lightly. He rolled his eyes playfully, smiling then running his hand through his curly hair. Oh you loved his curly hair so much. There literally is nothing that you don’t like about him and you’re fine with that. Mia had already gotten her drink and was watching the two of you.

    “You guys need to get a room.” She said, making both you and Peter blush. She reached past you, stealing a couple pieces of popcorn.

    “Seriously, you too!” You scolded. “Mia just leave.”

    “Where did you think I was going?” She replied, turning to go to her room.

    “Sorry.” You said back to Peter.

    “Don’t make me an aunt y/n!” Mia yelled from down the hall, closing her door. You gave her the biggest eye roll of your life, blushing once more when your eyes met Peters again.

    “Um… you ready?” You asked him.

     “Uh… yeah.” He replied, grabbing the popcorn and following you to your room. You moved the covers out of the way and sat down, Peter doing the same thing and putting the popcorn between you too.

    “Which one do you want to watch?l” he asked, shoving some popcorn into his mouth.

    “I don’t really care. They’re all basically the same.” You said grabbing some popcorn, not noticing Peter's disappointed look.

    “What! Y/n! How are you even my girlfriend, seriously! They’re all so different, how do you not know this? I watch them literally all the time.” You giggled at his response. This was the first time either of you had mentioned the whole boyfriend girlfriend thing, but you actually didn’t mind it. It made you feel all warm inside hearing him refer to you as his girlfriend.

    “I’m usually doing homework while you’re watching, I’ve only actually paid attention to like one.” You shoved another handful of popcorn into your mouth, watching Peter playfully roll his eyes at you and smile softly.

    “Whatever you say, we’re watching the first one and I’m gonna make sure you’re paying attention.”

    “Ok, ok!” For the first time ever you felt strangely comfortable around him. You were finally able to be your usual sarcastic self around him. Not that you hadn’t before but usually you were super awkward when it was just him and you. This was great. The movie started playing and you actually watched it this time, instead of dozing off or daydreaming. Peter couldn’t help but steal quick glances at you. He noticed your soft expression, attentively watching the movie. The way you bit softly at your lip every once in a while or how your eyes reflected the movie. He wanted to put his arm around you but didn’t know how you would react so he kept to himself. You could feel him looking at you a couple times, making you blush inside. Eventually, the credits began to appear and you rubbed your eyes lightly.

   “Well, what’d you think?” Peter asked, eating the last piece of popcorn. It actually ended up being really good, but Peter didn’t need to know that.

  “It was ok, I guess.” You said, trying not to smile and stretching your arms.

    “Just ok?”

    “Don’t push it Parker.” You replied, rolling your eyes. Suddenly it began to rain, hard. You watched the water droplets run heavily down your window.

    “Well, I guess you’re staying over.” You said, walking over to the window to close your curtains.

     “Are you sure? I don’t mind walking home.” Peter said, swinging his feet over to meet the floor.

     “Are you crazy? You can’t walk home in this. Besides it’s late.” You said, just noticing it was 11:07.

     “Um… ok. I’m just gonna call May.” He said fidgeting with his hands. Now he was the awkward one. He went to the kitchen to call his aunt while you went back to your bed, Peter coming in soon after.

     “Thanks.”

     “Yeah, sure anytime. So now what.”

     “We can watch the next one?” He suggests climbing into bed next to you.

     “Alright fine, but I can’t promise I’ll stay awake. I’m tired.” You said letting out a yawn. Peter's warm brown eyes seemed even more innocent, if that was even possible and you felt the butterflies from earlier return. The next movie began to play and you were instantly captivated. The special effects were actually really good considering when it was made and you really enjoyed the plot. It was about half way in when you noticed Peter start to doze off. I thought I was the one supposed to be falling asleep.

    A couple minutes went by and you flinched lightly when his head fell onto your shoulder. It felt nice, comforting to know that he could fall asleep on you. You instantly felt tired as well and turned off the movie. You didn’t want to actually lay down in fear of waking him so you leaned your head on top of his and curled into his side. He was very warm and sleep instantly overcame you.

    You woke up first, noticing your arms intertwined with his. Another thing you noticed about him was his arms. He was ripped. You didn’t know how or why he was so fit, considering he never said anything about working out, but hey, you definitely weren’t complaining. You grabbed your phone from the nightstand and checked the time. 11:45. Shit. My parents will be home soon. You lightly ran your hands through Peters hair, slowly going down to his shoulder to shake him lightly.

    “Peter. Wake up. It’s 11:45, my parents will be back soon.” You said in a hushed whisper. Peter opened his eyes slightly, letting out a groan.

    “Ugh… just five more minutes.” He groaned, grabbing onto your arm tightly. You smiled at his cute sleepy voice before snapping back to reality.

    “Peter, let me go. My parents will be back soon and I don’t want them to think we did anything.” You tried to pull your arm out of his death grip but it wouldn’t budge. How is he so strong?

    “Peter!”

    “Y/n!” He groaned at you, his eyes still shut

     “Let me go!” You squealed, frantically trying to free your arm.

    “Never!” Peter grabbed your waist pulling you in tighter. You blushed at how close you too were, your noses practically touching.

    “Peter, I’ll come over later, ok. It will only be like 2 hours until you see me again.” You said softly to him.

    “Alright.” He agreed, releasing you. You went to the bathroom to change your clothes and to brush your teeth. The popcorn taste still in your mouth from last night. When you came out, Peter was still in the bed. Boys are so annoying. Letting out a sigh, you walked over to your bed and poked Peters’ cheek a few times.

    “Peter get up. I will drag you out of this bed if I have to.” He let out a soft groan but still didn’t budge.

     “Fine then.” You said and pulled his legs over the side. Then you grabbed his shoulders and tried to roll him over. He was a lot heavier than you expected. It took nearly all your strength to finally roll him off the bed. Thud.

    “Ow.” Peter said, lying on the floor. You tried your best to not laugh but you couldn’t help it.

    “Should have gotten up then.” You replied, grabbing his hands to help him up. Again, taking most of your strength.

    “Next time, you’re gonna be the one rolling me out of bed, Parker.” You snarked at him.

    “No problem, I’ll just carry you, like this.” He said, reaching under your legs and around your arms, bridal style. You blushed a little while in his arms. He began to spin you around.

    “Peter! Put me down!” You laughed, feeling dizzy when he stopped.

    “You’re no fun.” He pouted, his eyes staring into you. You rolled your eyes at him and started pushing him out of your room, through the kitchen and into the hallway of the building.

    “Sorry, but you gotta go. I’ll see you later.” You closed the door and walked into the kitchen to get some water. You were all smiley and giddy after he left. Only Peter could do this to you.

    “Later” had finally rolled around and after greeting your parents, you decided to text Peter. 

     Can I come over? 

     Duh. You laughed at his response before asking your mom if you could go over.

   “Yeah sure, just call me if your staying over.” Your mom said.

    “Thanks, I love you.” You replied, turning to open the door. Peter lived in the apartment complex just down the street from yours so it only took you about a five minute walk to get there. You knocked on the door and were greeted by May.

  “Oh hi y/n! It’s so good to see you! Please come in.” She said holding the door open for you. You stepped inside, wiping your feet on the mat so you didn’t track muddy water from last night’s storm through the house.

  “Thanks.” You replied, smiling and tucking your hair behind your ear.

  “Will you be staying for dinner? I ordered Chinese because I know it’s your favorite and Peter said you’d be over.” May was the sweetest person you knew. This must be where Peter got it from.

   “That’s so sweet of you! I guess I’ll stay.” You said, kicking your shoes off.

    “Of course! You’re welcome here anytime.” You gave her a smile and made your way towards Peter’s room. You had been here several times before, to do homework or study. You and Peter both had the same classes so you often studied together. You knocked on Peter’s door softly.

   “Peter?” You said, when he didn’t answer. You waited a little before going in. You opened the door and went to sit on his bed. You figured he must be in the shower. You decided to scroll through instagram for a bit until he was done. Liking your friends post about seeing Spider-Man in person. You always dreamed of what it would be like to meet any of the Avengers. Iron Man was your favorite but you also like Spider-Man because of his super strength and web shooters. You started texting your friend back, telling them how cool they were to meet your idol when suddenly the door opened. You looked up to see Peter with just a towel around his waist. He was ripped. He had abs and his arms looked amazing. You immediately blushed a dark red. How did you not notice this before. Probably because this was the first time you’d seen him without a shirt on. His hair was wet, making his curls look really defined. You were basically drooling but forced yourself to come back to reality before he noticed.

  “Oh sorry! I didn’t know you were here.” He said, fidgeting with his hands. “Could you um… hand me my shirt. It’s right by you on the bed.”

  “Oh um…sure.” You replied, handing him the shirt. You tried your best to not look at his chest but failed. He definitely picked up on it, grinning softly and looking at the floor. You quickly turned away, looking back at your phone as he went back into the bathroom to change. A couple minutes later he came out, fully clothed this time. You put down your phone and stood up.

  “Um… do you want to continue watching Star Wars?” You asked, noticing how he was fidgeting with his hands again.

   “Uh sure” He replied, leading the way to the couch. He got the movie started and sat down awkwardly beside you. It was weird considering how you literally slept in the same bed last night and right now, it feels like you just met. About 10 minutes into the movie you started getting really cold. Your apartment didn’t have air conditioning so when you came over, you were always cold. Peter noticed you shivering but didn’t really know what to do.

  “Are you cold?” He asked, turning towards you.

   “A little.” You replied, rubbing your hands on your arms, trying to warm them. Peter reached for a blanket on the back of the couch and handed it to you.

   “Here.” He said handing you the large grey blanket.

   “Thanks.” You draped the blanket over you but it didn’t do much. You were still shivering a little. Peter noticed and pulled you closer to him. He pulled the blanket around both of you and hugged you into his chest. He could smell your shampoo and perfume, making him relax. You blushed at his sweet gesture noticing his smell too. It was so comforting and you didn’t feel cold anymore.

   “Is that better?” He asked, looking down at you with his warm brown eyes. You literally melted right then and there.

   “Yes. Thank you.” You nuzzled into his chest, turning back to watch the movie. Peter admired how cute you looked, being all snuggled on his chest. How had he not done this sooner, being your boyfriend that is. He had liked you for a year before he finally got the courage to ask you out. Well, to ask you to study with him. He told you he liked you that night. You had liked him since the day you met at the decathlon, 2 years prior.

His fingers drew soft circles on your side, making you feel butterflies of warmth. You looked up to see him staring at you intently. You noticed his hair curled more when it was wet. How his eyes seemed softer when you were like this. You noticed his lips, slightly open. Thinking about how magical it would be to kiss them. His sharp jaw line that seemed to cut right through you. You felt yourself being pulled towards him, your mouth parting. You brought your hand up his chest, feeling his toned muscles. Your hands making their way to the back of his neck. You ran your fingers through his hair as he started pulling you closer to him. Your stomach felt like there was a whole butterfly migration going through it. Your noses were touching now and you slowly brought your head up to meet his lips, about to receive your first kiss.

   “Peter, y/n!” You heard May call from the other room, immediately snapping you out of your trance and you literally flew off of him, returning back to your awkward self. Peter turned around to look at May.

   “Yeah?” He said.

    “I’m going to pick up the food. I’ll be back in about 20 minutes.”

    “Ok.” He replied. Turning back towards the tv, his hands fidgeting. You wrapped yourself back up in the blanket, feeling cold again without Peter's warm touch. You couldn’t believe what just happened, or what almost just happen. You and Peter avoided each other until May came back with the food. Turning your attention back to the movie and processing the events of yesterday and today. Peter falling asleep on your shoulder, you cuddling with him. You having to drag him out of bed, and him spinning you around like a toddler. You seeing him without his shirt and of course, the time 20 minutes ago when you almost kissed. Thankfully, you just heard May get back so you didn’t have to be on this fucking couch anymore.

    “Hey guys I’m back. Come eat.” May yelled, taking the food out of the bags and putting various kinds of chicken, ramen and rice on plates. You and Peter quickly went to the kitchen, the smell of spring rolls and ramen filling the house. You grabbed the plate that was mostly ramen with some chicken while Peter chose a plate with everything on it and to top it off, he added about 15 spring rolls to his pile.

   “Jesus Peter, how many spring rolls do you need?” You cried out, gesturing to his plate.

   “I’m a growing boy y/n, I eat a lot.” He replied with a goofy grin, making you laugh hysterically. May and Peter gave you strange looks as you were almost crying from laughing so hard.

   “You did not just say that!” You giggled, setting your plate down.

   “What? That I’m a growing boy?” He replied. You nodded while uncontrollable laughter over came you, making Peter and May laugh also. After a couple minutes you began to calm down, whipping the tears from your eyes.

   “Sorry, that was just really funny.” You said before shoving ramen into your mouth.

   “So Y/n, how are your parents? I haven’t seen them in forever.” May asked.

   “Oh they’re fine. They were on a work trip this past week. They just got back today.” You replied, noticing Peter was already almost halfway done with his food while you had barely eaten any of yours.

   “Peter slow down, geez!” Cried May, noticing his fast eating too.

   “I’m hungry.” He muffled, his mouth full.

   “Yes we’ve been over that.” You replied, rolling your eyes at him. The rest of dinner consisted of awkward small talk between you and May with Peter joint in occasionally. May was really sweet but it’s still kinda awkward talking to her.

    After you were all finished eating, you and Peter did the dishes. You both mostly kept to yourselves, not wanting to create yet another embarrassing moment. When the last few dishes were put in the dishwasher, you started to make your way towards Peter's room. Just before you got there, Peter grabbed your arm, and spun around to face him. You were confused, obviously. You and Peter were both silent, neither wanting to break up this moment together. Peter took a step closer to you, making him practically on top of you. You looked up at him, noticing his eyes were soft again. His hand made its way from your wrist to your waist, pulling you in closer. The butterflies returned, as well as the heat from when you were with him under the blanket.

    You ran your hand up his chest, feeling his abs clench at your touch. You brought both hands up to the back of his neck. His other hand cupped your face. At last, he leaned down and closed his eyes. Finally it was happening. You closed your eyes and stood on your tippy toes. Your lips collided and it was equal parts ecstasy and magic. You tasted the many spring rolls on his lips as he parted them for you. You turned your head slightly to make it easier for him. You couldn’t believe what was happening. You were kissing Peter Parker. The only boy you’ve wanted to kiss for two years.

    You never wanted it to end, never wanting this feeling to be over. He grabbed your waist tighter, slightly lifting you with his strong arms. Your hands in his hair, twisting it in your fingers. He broke off slightly to open his door and lead you to his bed. He sat down and lifted you onto his lap. Normally this position would make you embarrassed but you were too captivated by him to care. He kissed you twice as passionately as before, your tongues interwoven. Damn he’s a good kisser. Not that you had anything to compare him to. You heard a knock at the door suddenly, but you were too captivated by him to actually do anything about it. You continued making out with him, pulling his hair more.

  “Peter.” You heard May yell through the door. You knew what was about to happen but you were too occupied by this magical kiss to care. Sure enough, the door swung open, leaving you and Peter exposed to May.

  “Hey Peter- oh my gosh! Sorry!” She exclaimed, closing the door. Peter pushed you off of him, his cheeks bright red.

  “Im gonna… um… go see what she needs.” He told you shakily. He opened the door and you saw May covering her eyes and shaking her head every once in a while. You wiped your mouth off a little bit and smoothed down your hair. You couldn’t believe May had just seen the two of you like this. You tried to make out what they were saying.

    “Can I look?” May said, still covering her eyes.

    “Uh… yeah. Im sorry.” Peter said, scratching his head and looking down.

    “I’m gonna take a shower then go to bed early.”

    “Ok.”

   “I’m trusting you, Peter.” She said looking at him intensely. “Please be safe. Goodnight.” She said, kissing Peter’s forehead.  “Love you.”

   “Love you too, May.” Peter replied before closing the door. He made his way back over to the bed, sitting down next to you just like before.

   “So um… do you want to watch Star Wars?” He asked, making you giggle.

  “Sure.” You said, tucking a stray hair behind your ear. He got his laptop and turned on the movie. You both got under the covers, this time you cuddled right into him. Savoring his warmth and his smell that you’d grown to love. He put his arm around you, pulling you close, fingers brushing light circles on your skin. Your head was on his chest and you could hear his heartbeat. You never wanted to leave this warm, safe haven he had created. He pressed a light kiss to your forehead, making you blush.

   “I love it when you do that.” He said looking down at you.

   “Do what?” You questioned, looking up at him, confused at his statement.

   “When you blush every time I compliment or touch you. It’s cute.” He said, brushing the hair that had fallen in your face out of the way. You smiled softly, doing the exact thing he just described.

   “You’re pretty cute too, Parker.” You said looking intensely into his warm brown eyes.

   “Also…” you started, “how are you so fit?”

   “Wh-What do you mean?” He stuttered. You lightly hit his chest, scoffing.

   “No one just has abs.” You tell him.

   “I don’t know. I must have good genes I guess.” He said, blushing a little. You rolled your eyes at him before nuzzling back into his chest. Your heart swelling at how much you cared for him. Your eyelids felt heavy, tired from the drama of today. You closed your eyes and quickly drifted to sleep, savoring this moment for as long as you could.

[breakingsomething]

the fall - part three (electric beegalee)

basic summary: marvin makes several important decisions.

trigger warnings: blood and injures, brief mention of past suicide attempts, being held in captivity

the next few days were hell for marvin.

not only did he have to live with the knowledge of what jackie was doing to anti, but he had to pretend it had never happened too. there was no way he could tell anyone; chase either wouldn't believe him or he would and it absolutely break him, and henrik would probably end up telling jackie what he'd said. and he wasn't ready to confront jackie just yet. he wasn't ready to speak to jackie at all, actually.

jackie had noticed. "what's up, marv?" he asked, about three days after marvin had discovered anti. he nudged marvin's shoulder, and he jumped. "you've been pretty quiet."

jackie was one to talk. he barely ever spoke to the others, instead opting to stay in his room and avoid the others at all costs. as of late, that wasn't unusual, but now that marvin knew the reason… he shook those thoughts away and forced a smile. "yeah, i'm cool. just felt a bit out of it lately."

that wasn't a lie. but he wondered why jackie suddenly cared. a few weeks ago, he wouldn't even have noticed if the kitchen was on fire, much less if one of his brothers was acting strange. was he suspecting marvin? did he know what he'd seen? when had marvin become this paranoid, when had he started to fear his older brother?

"you sure?" jackie said, and he grabbed marvin's shoulders and turned him to face him. "i don't want you to feel like you can't talk to me."

marvin bit his lip. "of course i can talk to you," he said weakly. "i just… i'm fine, seriously." he casually pushed his brother's hands off his shoulders and grinned.

"i love you," he added for good measure.

jackie seemed to accept that.

the guilt of knowing ate at marvin for days. every time he saw jackie leave the house, giving excuses about going to see his friend curro or something, he felt sick. he was so disgusted and angry at himself for letting this happen, for leaving another person to suffer. anti, he had to remind himself. it's anti. not just anyone. anti.

but did anyone deserve what was happening to him? anyone, even him?

anti was strange to marvin. the day he'd first "met" him, anti had stabbed him and tried to kill jackie. marvin had used his magic to get him away, then spelled the flat so anti couldn't come back. he hadn't seen anti again until the day chase's kids were found, three weeks after they disappeared. marvin still shuddered remembering the smirk on anti's face as he'd glitched away. why had he taken the kids in the first place if he cared so little about losing them? it was just so odd.

anti was an enigma, all right. but no matter what he'd done, no matter how wildly off kilter marvin's moral compass was, marvin didn't think what was happening was right.

one night, about a week after, he was sitting on the steps to the back garden when chase came and sat next to him.

"hey," he said, handing marvin a cup. he blinked and took a small sip. tea, made just the way he liked. he flashed chase a small, grateful smile but said nothing.

chase took a drink from his own cup before speaking. "it's cold out here. you wanna go inside?"

"not really," marvin murmured, and chase nodded.

"didn't think you would." from behind him, he pulled a large grey blanket and draped it over marvin's shoulders. "it's my weighted one. figured you needed it."

marvin smiled and glanced away, trying not to cry.

chase paused. "hey," he said softly. "are you alright? i noticed you've seemed a bit down lately. you've kind of been distancing from us for… for a while. i was just wondering."

a while? only a few days, marvin had thought. then again, he kind of had been avoiding his brothers for a long time. ever since… he didn't want to think about that. "i'm fine, chase. really. thanks for… for checking up on me."

there was a moment of silence before chase spoke again. "are you thinking about… about jamie?"

he hadn't been, but now he was.

"he'll come back," chase said confidently. he sipped his drink again. "he wouldn't just leave forever without a word."

marvin didn't agree, but of course didn't say that. chase was still hoping, and hope was a good thing to have. sometimes.

they stayed out there for a few hours, long after marvin's tea had gone cold and chase's cup was empty. henrik came out at one point to check up on them and berate them for staying out in the cold, and they all laughed but eventually heeded his advice and went inside.

the next day, marvin decided. he was going to go back for anti.

he was sure it was a bad decision, one that was definitely going to come back to bite him in the ass. but the thought of anti alone in that tiny dark room with jackie was killing him, to the point where he was having nightmares about anti's last few desperate moments trying to get his attention as he left him. marvin was not a coward. he wasn't. but he was scared. this was going against everything he'd ever known from day one.

that didn't matter. he wasn't going to be afraid any more, and damn the consequences. he packed a bag of stuff he might need and got ready for whatever he might have to do.

he followed jackie again when he left around four pm that day. it was easier now that he knew where they were going, although he kept hoping that maybe jackie would take a turn and go to curro's house or the high street. but it was not to be. marvin swallowed back bile as they approached the abandoned store again. this time, marvin recognized it as a music store. the name had been taken off the front, but he knew this was the place where jackie used to go to get his guitar fixed when he needed it. just the thought made his head spin.

they went through the store and down the white hallways just like last time. jackie wasn't wearing headphones today, so marvin had used his soundlessness spell as well as invisibility to keep himself as unseen as possible. he tried to take mental notes of the codes and passwords this time; getting out last time had been a nightmare, and he nearly tripped several alarms with his magic. but there was a problem - when jackie went through the last door, he quickly shut it behind him, giving marvin no time to go through.

he stared at the closed door, his heart pounding. his body felt light with panic. what the fuck was he going to do now?

jackie was in the room for a long time. a half hour, at least - marvin was too afraid to take his phone out and check. when jackie finally came out, marvin pressed himself against the wall and slipped inside, nearly brushing against jackie's jacket as he passed. he almost sobbed when he got inside and jackie shut the door, his footsteps clicking away.

anti looked even worse than he had a week ago. his hair was covering his eyes, which were closed and had huge bags underneath them. there was more blood on his shirt, and he seemed to be unconscious or asleep, slumped over against the wall. marvin's heart skipped as he raced to his side, terrified.

"anti?" he said softly, hesitating before shaking his shoulder. anti groaned quietly, scrunching up his face. "anti, hey, i came back. wake up, wake up."

anti stirred, lifting his head and whimpering. when his eyes slowly cracked, marvin positively sagged with relief, forcing what was supposed to be a reassuring grin. "hey, dude, i -"

anti's eyes flew open fully, and he promptly began to panic, making incoherent noises and struggling against his handcuffs and the chain on his neck. "hmm, hmm!" he cried desperately, trying to rip his hands from behind him, eyes wide.

"hey, i'll get you out!" marvin reassured. but somehow this only seemed to panic anti more. "calm down, you're going to hurt yourself!"

he grabbed the handcuffs and muttered his unlocking spell. they fell to the ground and anti's hands immediately flew in front of him, signing rapidly. marvin groaned. "anti, wait a sec. i'm gonna get these chains off."

he said the spell once more, waiting for the chains to fall.

they didn't.

marvin frowned, sitting back. "what - what the fuck?" he said, confused. "i don't -"

then he took a moment to watch anti's hands and read his frantic signs.

"you need to get out of here, he knows!" he was signing. "this is a trap! get the fuck out, get out!"

marvin's blood ran cold.

"anti," he said, trying to steady his voice. "anti, it's ok, he's not -"

the door behind them slowly opened. anti stopped moving, staring behind marvin at something he couldn't see.

marvin didn't dare to look.

"marvin," said a soft voice from behind. "i can explain all of this."

for a brief second, marvin turned to face anti. turquoise eyes met brown, and they both shared a moment of silent knowing.

we're fucked.

marvin stood, trying to hide his shaking. he turned, agonizingly slow, to face his brother. part of him had still thought that all this was some kind of mistake, but seeing the look on jackie's face dashed all hopes. his expression of silent resignation, his eyes narrowed and hands by his side. marvin shuddered, blinking rapidly.

"please," jackie pleaded, lifting both hands to the side of his head in a gesture of surrender. "just give me a minute to -"

"you tortured him," marvin said, trying his best to steady his voice. "this is wrong. whatever you're doing, it's wrong."

jackie shook his head sadly, like marvin was a child who wouldn't accept that he needed to eat his vegetables. "no. you don't understand," he said. "i was trying to protect us."

"by imprisoning our brother and torturing him, jackie?" marvin demanded, suddenly more furious than he was afraid. anti moaned quietly, already drifting back into unconsciousness, and marvin stepped forward to face jackie properly. "that's not like you. you wouldn't - you're supposed to be a hero! not - not this! what the fuck happened to you, jackie?"

"he happened to me!" jackie suddenly roared, fury blazing in his eyes. marvin had never seen him like this before. "this fucking bastard -" he angrily pointed at anti, who had sank back down in his chains. "- he fucking ruined everything!"

marvin licked his lips, which were suddenly far too dry. "that doesn't excuse what you're doing. it makes you no better than him."

jackie growled, his hands lighting up. "it's what he fucking deserves!"

"no, it's -"

"you goddamn idiot!" jackie screamed. "you don't get it, do you?"

he grabbed his head, doubling over for a second before straightening again, eyes glowing. "this fucking piece of shit ruined everything, marvin! how can you not get that? two months henrik was gone, two months in which he was tortured and held captive and we had to deal with the aftermath of chase's constant breakdowns and attempts to hurt himself because he blamed himself for the loss of jack and henrik! and when we finally meet henrik, he's - he's fucking broken, he's screaming and covered in blood and doesn't remember his own goddamn name! and then anti takes louise and connor on a fucking three week vacation! three weeks that chase spent in prison, marvin!" jackie took a breath, eyes wild, clutching at his hair. "and then the fucker tries to get in my head, tries to make me go bloody insane! well, i won't let him! not anymore!"

marvin shook his head quickly, adrenaline pumping through him like fire. "what... what do you mean, he got in your head?"

jackie let out an ungodly scream. "fuck, fuck!" he howled, dragging his nails down his face. "tried to corrupt me, tried to make me a puppet to replace his little dapper, little jameson! fucked with my dr-dreams, tried to - took me to this weird forest, told me things - made me forget! well, it won't work!" he laughed, almost hysterically. "he can't do anything now!"

anti groaned again, and marvin tried to think of something, anything, to try and defuse the situation. "jackie, revenge isn't the only way. this is - you're - i don't get it, you've never been like this!"

jackie cackled, his movements sudden and stiff. "oh, like you'd fucking notice!" he laughed. "you don't ever notice anything!"

"jackie, i -"

"you didn't notice how bad chase was getting until he was holding a gun in one hand and a jameson in the other!" jackie shouted over him. "you didn't notice how bad henrik was getting until he was hallucinating and pointing a scalpel at your head, calling you anti! you didn't notice -" he laughed again. "- you clearly didn't notice how bad i was getting until you put on a fucking invisibility spell and followed me here, unlocking this bastard's chains and forgetting to put them back on before you left like a goddamn idiot!"

oh, shit. he had forgotten to do that, hadn't he.

"you knew?" marvin said softly. "this - this whole week, you knew i'd -"

"not the whole week," jackie said. he was calmer now, his light cooling slightly. "figured it out a couple days ago. you didn't even - god, marvin, you are a coward. you didn't even tell chase and henrik!"

he threw back his head, giggling, and marvin held both hands behind his back, letting them warm up with magic. jackie wiped his eyes and turned back to him, face red with more anger. "you think i'm insane, you think i'm fucking unstable, but you didn't tell your brothers who live in the same house as me? that shows how much you care, marvin, how much of a pussy bastard you are. too concerned with saving your own goddamn skin."

marvin just stared, waiting for the right moment.

jackie kept talking. "so sue me, i got the chains enchanted. only certain dark magics can open them. i figured that as much of a cowardly bitch you are, you'd be back to try and free this pathetic piece of shit." his face contorted in disgust. "well, you can fucking join him here for all i care. if that's what i have to do to keep chase and henrik safe."

marvin took a breath. now or never.

"you're right," he murmured. "i don't pick up on everything. sometimes i ignore things that are right in front of my face because i don't want to have to face them. so i can understand why you'd hide things from me." he looked up, staring into his brother's dark blue eyes. don't cry, don't cry until this is all over. "but jackie?"

he readied himself, swallowing and taking in jackie's form. ready to fight. he wouldn't expect anything more.

"i don't tell you everything either."

he threw the ball of black magic he'd been summoning behind him towards anti and lunged for his brother.

jackie reacted quickly, as marvin had prepared himself for. he lifted an arm and blocked marvin's attack, elbowing him in the face and sweeping marvin's legs out from under him. marvin grabbed his sleeve to steady himself and shoved jackie back into the wall, the two of them tussling for control for a solid ten seconds. they were evenly matched, which marvin really had already guessed would be the case. "you don't - have - to fight me!" marvin gasped, struggling to get a breath as jackie's arm hit his neck. "please, just listen!"

"no!" jackie kicked him again, and marvin attempted to grab jackie in a headlock before a blinding light blocked his vision. he cried out and shot an uncontrolled burst of magic in jackie's direction, knowing it hit him when he screamed in pain. he took advantage of the pause to try and blink back his sight, until jackie grabbed him again and he fell to the floor and -

and jackie yelled again, the sound of static filling the room. "you little bitch!" he heard jackie cry, and marvin pushed himself up, trying to see what was going on. "don't you dare, i'll do worse than cut out your t-"

he screamed again, and the white noise became almost unbearable. marvin stumbled to his feet, the world slowly coming back into focus, just enough to see anti collapse against his chest, unconscious again. what he'd done to jackie, marvin didn't know, but he held onto anti's limp form tightly. he fell back, fingers scrambling on the wall for the door - the door that jackie had locked. fuck, fuck.

jackie straightened, eyes a pure white, dripping with light magic. "can't run," he announced with a grin, his voice echoing. then his expression softened. "just stay with me, marvin. i'm your big brother. you should know i'm right."

"you're not," marvin mumbled, holding anti protectively. "you're not right."

he made his decision.

portals were a rather difficult type of magic. it involved creating a bridge between your current location and a place you couldn't see, making it incredibly difficult to perfect without falling from the sky or ending up inside the pavement. that's why there were pre made portal bridges, allegedly made by magicians years and years ago. marvin knew where every one in the city was. he knew there wasn't one in this room. he knew what he was about to do could easily kill them both.

he did it anyway. "notam porta!" he shouted, and kicked jackie in the chest as hard as he could before directing his magic behind him, and the world became a blur of colour and light and jackie's betrayed expression, staring at marvin through the mess of magic -

and they were falling -

and they were on the ground staring up at the sun.

trees. thick, green trees, stretching towards the sky. marvin squinted and sat up on trembling, aching limbs. yes, it was a forest; the same forest chase took his kids on walks in, the forest next to the park and the beach where families came in the summer. he glanced around just in time to see the last wisps of the portal disappear into the air. he wasn't sure why they'd come out here, but it was far away from the music store, and that was what mattered.

he turned to see anti, laying fully on the ground, passed out. marvin crawled over and lifted his head up off the dirt and sharp twigs. he had a few leaves in his hair, which marvin brushed out.

anti let out a pained whine, and marvin carefully swung his bag off his back to get his supplies he'd brought with him. but anti was badly hurt, and he wasn't sure this small medkit he'd stolen from henrik would be good enough. "oh, fuck," he hissed under his breath, examining all the wounds covering anti's body. his wrists were chafed and bleeding from the handcuffs, his arms covered in bruises, his neck bleeding profusely. and then there was his mouth. marvin paused, and was about to go to peel the plaster off when anti blinked, whimpering in pain.

"hey, you're ok, i got you," marvin said reassuringly. anti threw his hands up over his eyes to block the sun - of course, it was probably blinding after god knows how long in that dimly lit room. marvin moved in front of him to shield him, pushing back anti's hair and biting his lip anxiously.

without warning, anti let out a strangled wail of pain, back arching off the ground as glitches wracked his body. "it's ok, i got you!" marvin cried helplessly, wishing he knew how to help him. chase and henrik had known him before, they would know, but they weren't here and marvin was alone in this fucking forest with the man who'd killed and hurt and kidnapped people he loved.

in anti's agonized state, he didn't notice the plaster tear off his mouth with the force of his cries. he calmed himself after a moment, but not fast enough, not fast enough to hide what marvin knew he was seeing.

harsh, raised pink scars, covering the area around anti's mouth. and inside - oh fuck, fuck, fuck. marvin dropped anti's head and staggered back, gagging. god, fuck, what had jackie - had jackie really - there was no way jackie would -

marvin vomited next to a tree, head spinning. once he'd finished, he was almost too terrified to go back over and look after his brother. but jackie's words niggled at his brain - selfish bastard, selfish marvin - and he stumbled over to him, coughing. anti hadn't moved, but his eyes were slightly open, glassy and sickly looking.

marvin collapsed to his knees next to him.

"he cut off your - jackie, he - he…"

anti made a small noise of confirmation. marvin nearly threw up again.

"water?" anti signed weakly. his hands flopped back down to his chest after he'd made the sign, as though that had taken all his energy.

marvin nodded and fumbled through his bag. "here, sit up," he said, and helped anti to lean against him as he drank the bottle of water marvin had packed. while he did that, marvin pulled out the jacket he'd brought, and wrapped it around anti's shoulders. he couldn't believe he was so carefully caring for the man who'd done such terrible things to his family, but hey, jackie had just tried to kill him. nothing made sense anymore. "do you… ok, i have bandages. do you want me to fix up your neck?"

anti shook his head and took the bandages from marvin, shifting away from him to put them on himself. he was shaking badly, but didn't turn to let himself be helped.

marvin only knew one place they could go now. one place that was safe enough for them both. one place that was protected, one place with someone who could help them. marvin sighed and looked over at anti, who seemed half asleep and could barely lift his arms to wrap the bandages round his neck. yep, they would need help.

he could only hope that jackie wouldn't do anything first.

-

they had just been playing a video game. a stupid racing game, so bad but so fun to play. henrik had somehow been winning, which chase was absolutely outraged about. "oh, come on!" he shouted, twirling his controller like it would help him go any faster. "you bastard, how are you better at this than me?"

"i am the, uh... what is the english word?" henrik flashed a grin as his car raced through the third and final lap. "the updog."

chase laughed so loudly that he dropped his control, doubling over and wheezing. "you- you mean the underdog?" he giggled, wiping tears from his eyes.

"yes! that's the bitch!" henrik said gleefully. then he frowned. "why is that so funny?"

before chase could answer, the front door slammed open, and someone raced inside.

"pack your bags," jackie announced. his face was red, eyes wild, and he was clutching at his chest. "anti's coming, we need to get out of here."

chase and henrik exchanged looks, getting to their feet. "what - jesus fuck, what do you mean, where have you been? where's marvin?"

"anti got him," jackie panted, grabbing his bag from the living room table and shoving things inside. "anti's got into his head, fucked with his mind. he's coming here, we have to go!"

henrik let out a panicked noise of distress. "he is - jackie - i -" he turned to chase, grabbing his arm. "i can't go back to anti, not again, please!"

"then we run," jackie said, stopping his frantic bustling to look henrik and chase dead in the eyes. "get as far away as we can. i'll try and explain in the car. chase, i'll drive. take everything you need. we leave in five minutes."

[bracedfangirl]

Let’s start settin’ the mood

I’ve been wanting to share my Ninjago AU ever since I had the idea for it in 2015, and since I haven’t really seen anybody take up this trope, Ima do it myself. Tagging @lloydskywalkers because you seemed interested in the AU when I revealed it in anon.

What if Kai didn’t throw the crystal in time in Ep. 52? Tw: blood, gore (sorta) and major character death

Fatal Mistake (Fatal Mistake AU Beginning scene)

'Oh come on! 'Couldn't Morro stay trapped in the ice spikes for just a minute longer?' 'Why can we only have bittersweet victories?' Kai is apparantely on these thoughts as he glares at Morro, who's holding his blade to Lloyd's back demanding the realm crystal.

The choice is on Kai, who's the most reluctant in making this decision. Because objectively there's no reason for him to be conflicted, since as Ninjago's protectors they need to be ready to sacrifice themselves anytime and this is especially true for Lloyd.

But Lloyd isn't really capable of choosing, and Kai desperately wants to save his little brother. Yes he'd rather fight Morro's master or have billions cursed just to save his brother.

"Y'know I don't have all day Hothead, choose already!  Decide what you are first and foremost. The protector of Ninjago or the protector of the Green ninja? What do you value more your friend or the world?"

Morro's words make the choice even harder, because  they are Ninjago's protectors first and that's something Lloyd said himself. But Kai isn't capable of saying this. He's simply just not able to. Lloyd is family. Kai's little brother whom he swore to protect.  He can't condemn him to death just like that.

He only has one option, find a way to save both. He needs to find that way fast though, beacause Morro's getting more and more impatient.

As he's stressing, he starts to smell smoke. Wait, that means their powers came back! He's just gotta make the crystal scorching hot and Morro's not having any kind of victory today. He immidiately starts to heat the gem not even considering telling the others about it, preparing to throw the crystal-

Despite being barely concious Lloyd had heard pretty much everything. Not that he really needed to. He knew this was gonna happen the moment his friends left them in the ice spikes.

This current situation is quite horrible, because it can't end good for his team. Yes his team but not him. Dying isn't nearly as much as frightening to Lloyd as it should be, maybe because regarding the last two weeks, it really can't be that bad.

It certainly would be pretty painful, he doesn't doubt that, but considering the burning feeling of getting possessed… it probably isn't something he can't handle…

Though he'd rather not go with the slit throat option… one it involves a lot of chocking and stinging and two… it looks really nasty…

He knows he should probably be afraid, because he's thirteen and it really looks like he's gonna die, but… did he just lose his will to live? Maybe…

There is one thing he would like to live for though… and that is to spend a day home… spend a day at home, with all his family, with Zane's cooking, Jay's rambling, Cole's music mixes, Kai's and Nya's hugs-

Sharp, chocking pain rips through his torso, as if a blade went through him-

Okay, so wasting time to explain his plan to the others has been the actual worst mistake Kai's ever made, mostly due to how high the cost of it is.

The worst part is that it's not him who pays the price.

The horrible sound freezes his entire mind, before forcing him to turn torwards it's source…

To see the most dreaded image of his nightmares.

Lloyd stares at him with wide and hurt eyes, as if begging for help, shaking.

The blade's tip came out right under his gi clasp, coated in his dark blood, the surrounding fabric beggining to change color.

The seconds slow as Kai drops the crystal which cracks before rolling into the water.

Morro viciously grins, ripping the sword out, kicking Lloyd into the small river-

By the time the splash can be heard, Kai is already halfway on his way to jump in, directing himself to the densing red patch. The water is very cold, and it's hard to see in it, but Kai ignores every red light in his brain, focused on getting a grip on his sinking brother.

He does manage to grab a collar, and pull them together but he's losing air too fast, and he can't swim at all.

Just before he'd lose all of the precious air, someone grips his shoulder, ripping them both out of the water, thick red trail following them.

Lloyd gives out a horrible choke, throwing up water and blood, hands moving to grip the wound tightly. He knows his voice is unreliable, but he calls for his brother, vision slowly getting hazy.

"I'm here buddy I'm here, look at me… yes look at me, you're gonna be okay."

Kai's voice is seconds away from crying, and it's not like either of them belive what he just said but that isn't the point.

Kai rips his gaze over to Zane (along with everyone exept Lloyd), who just clenches his teeth and turns away, scan results painfully ovbious.

A grip forms on Kai's wrist, and turns back to Lloyd, who started shaking, gaze getting hazy and unclear, but he's clearly looking into Kai's eyes. The blood pool is growing under him in a rapid speed, edge reaching Kai's knees, soaking them.

Jay is crying now too, and it really looks like the others are close to completely breaking down too.

Suddenly Lloyd starts to croak, faint whispers heavily assaulted by his shallow, wheezing breaths. His eyes are barely open anymore, only vaguely looking in Kai's direction.

"I-I-"

Lloyd's grip is slowly falling away, blood spilling from his mouth again...

"I couldn't ha-have-"

The boy chokes again, desperately trying to speak…

"-a-asked f-for a better brother th-than you…"

Kai is frozen, staring into the hazy mismatched eyes, tears beginning to fall.

"…Th-thank you…"

Lloyd's eyes flutter closed, hand falling away and final wheeze ending with a soft sigh.

[adrunkgiraffe]

I have been through this journey before, so I get to be actually frustrated about it.

IUnder a read more because im not subjecting y’all to this. Also: I should caveat I haven’t watched the episode cause I’m waiting till its on Netflix but I have watched way too many other episodes of Supernatural so I have a right to say these things. 

TL;DR: I mean you all knew Cas’ confession was fucking bullshit and that SPN is...hm. But I’d like to actually express my genuine frustration, for a moment? I’m going to say things you already know, but I have too much knowledge of this show and too much stupid meta in my brain about a series I haven’t genuinely enjoyed for at least 5 years which makes this not just blandly bad but disgustingly insulting to me not even as a gay just as like. A writer?

Or, even shorter: Cas’ confession is just a Charlie Bradbury Speedrun 

So. As some of you may know if, for some reason, you followed me back in 2013 (and till...okay fine 2015), I used to be, uh. Really into SPN. Really, I was into Destiel. Like, as in, I slogged through seasons 1-3 to get to Cas and am also really vulnerable to the Sunk Cost Fallacy and projecting onto characters. (I was in 8th grade in 2013, okay? Get off my back)

Also, because I monopolised use of the TV, I kind of...also got my parents into it? In a “this is silly but fun” kind of way.

Over time, critiques of the show from viewers, learning what queerbaiting is at all, fatigue with how long it was going, and also fatigue from how characters I enjoyed, like Rufus, or Crowley, or Ellen, or Jo, or Kevin, or Charlie, or Cas a few times, kept getting killed off. As time went on, it didn’t escape my notice that, aside from Cas, all of these characters fit one or more of the following criteria:

They were a woman

They were a person of color

Were Queer or Queer-coded in some way (listen Crowley was bad rep but at least Mark Sheppard actually kissed a man on screen)

I also just...generally got tired of the way the show treats women and sidelines people of color. 

The final straw really came with Charlie’s death. It got us all excited, because she hadn’t been back in a bit! And it was interesting to see how reuniting with her dark side from Oz had changed her! (yeah remember the fucking Wizard of Oz storyline? The writers sure don’t!) And maybe she’d get developed! Because at this point, Charlie and the fairly good writing of her character was a major upside for the series! Charlie was cool, fun, gay, and morally complex in a way...none of the female characters had been before her, in large part because by definition, her relationship with the boys would always be platonic.

And then. Offscreen. She is violently murdered. For no damn good reason. Like, literally, her being brought back in this episode after fucking off to europe after having returned from fucking off to Oz seems to have filled two purposes in total. 

The codex is solved (but Sam doesn’t know till next episode)

Charlie is dead, which means Dean can be angry, specifically at Sam, and kill more people because he’s the big bad this season. 

That’s it. Two things. Twooooo whole reasons to do this episode. Whoopee. 

But you didn’t come here for this, you came here for me to rip this reveal to shreds. Don’t worry, I’ll get there. What I want in your minds is that Supernatural already had a really good anddynamic queer character. And then they killed her off to make Dean angry. No, it doesn’t matter that they brought her back in season 13 or whatever. They made that decision. 

After the rage this incited, I started realizing general flaws in the writing (I had probably already noticed them but now I was angry enough to complain.) Every conflict is born of Sam and Dean not communicating/taking on burdens and Dean being angry at Cas for reasons that ranged from good to ridiculous, but in a way that always went way too fucking long, (which...yes, does make the “you do it for love” gifs fucking hilarious). It didn’t help that seasons 11 and 12 were next, which meant Demon Dean and GOD’S FUCKING SISTER, plus the decision to resurrect Mary, which, while I do like her later scenes, as a season 12 finale it...well I’ll be honest it kinda sucked. It undercut the majority of the Winchester’s’ arcs and their slow and painful journey out of their father’s toxic vengeance quest and knowing Mary as a person when it’s too late to know her was one of the last semi-compelling grounders of the narrative. 

By this point it was a hate-watch for my parents and I.

So then, I’m at college, and I’m not watching anymore cause I don’t have the motivation or access to Hulu to continue, and SPN is bad. I watch the Scooby Doo crossover when it comes out and my friend and I make fun of it, and we also continue making jokes about Dean and Cas and queerbaiting because we’re queer, but I don’t keep up. My Dad does though, so when I return, I watch some with the fam and lads. It’s even more tiring without context. 

So flash forward to Quarantine, my sister, the only one with taste, has left, and we have run out of netflix to watch. So we return to the well, and seasons 13-14 are. I’m gonna say it. Bad. Really fucking bad. The cycle of bad communication continues, season 14 has like seven antagonists and the way it’s structured makes it so I literally cannot remember the timeline of a season I watched 3 months ago. Oh also, they have a queer coded cannibal snake monster for...well I guess Jack’s snake bud was cool but like. Huh wow it’s almost like these writers don’t handle queers well. 

Our one saving grace is Cas, but he’s barely in any episodes, though I did note that his deal with the empty, being happy completely for one moment killing him, that struck me as “this has potential and I know they’re gonna half-ass it somehow.” Also Jack and Mary, but then oh...plot….The most compelling it gets is literally the finale.

But then, 3 days later, the first half of season 15 comes out on Netflix and it’s...actually kind of acceptable. The new character they give Jack’s actor is fun to watch him play until they make him evil. Exploring just how toxic Chuck can be gave the series direction again. The alternate future was genuinely scarring, and Eileen’s return was genuinely moving. Most of all, though, Cas got the opportunity to tell Dean no, that Dean was being unfair to him, had always been unfair to him, and he was sick of it. I had no illusions, I knew Destiel was never gonna happen, and Cas was gonna die, but giving him that bit of agency, letting Cas grow and be self-sufficient, and be angry with Dean not for existential reasons but interpersonal ones, was such a good sign for me, and Dean grew too! Dean fucking apologized for being horrible and Jensen Ackles had a...yknow what, ill give it to him, he had a good acting moment. 

But the thing. About. The “I love you.” 

Let’s take it in parts.

What was good: I’m gonna admit it, lads, “Wanting what I can’t have” - AS A LINE - is good, and, structurally, there is something to the Empty Deal that could have been an interesting aspect of Cas’ arc when it comes to self actualization and being on even footing with Dean. The problem is, this is Supernatural, and that arc only comes up when I bring it up because character study, even in bad media, is fun for me. 

What was bad:

I mean. Like. All of it? All of it. 

Okay. Fine. I’ll be specific. 

Cas dies immediately when - possibly because- he is revealed as having feelings for Dean. They kill him as they queer him, that’s a Bury Your Gays Speedrun right there.

Like the least they could have done is have him mention it to someone in another scene or something to establish some romantic feelings on the part of canon a full episode beforehand. That would have been the literal bare minimum. 

When Cas starts praising Dean, for some reason both the writing and Misha’s acting take a bit of a downswing (from...where it already was). Cas, whose most powerful moment this season was acknowledging that Dean’s anger at him is cruel and unfair, flatly praises him for doing everything out of love and it reads with a misunderstanding of both Dean as a character and Cas’ understanding of Dean. Dean is angry! VERY ANGRY! And it’s a problem he needs to work on and rarely does. 

Talking out of my ass, a better speech would have been about how Dean is angry because of his love for Sam, family, and the people around him, how, for better or for worse, he can’t help but be angry on behalf of others, and that his journey of moving that tendency towards the better is what made Cas care so much. Guys this alteration to the metaphor took 2 minutes to write tops I am an Art History student and these are TV WRITERS WITH YEARS OF EXPERIENCE CAN YOU TELL THEYRE NOT TRYING YET? 

A better speech would, of course, have come out of a better series. My point: this part was half-assed. Poorly written. Wow it’s almost like the series is also poorly written. 

 Also, Misha is the better actor of the three(***OF THE THREE), but his choices in that scene are jarringly out of character which. Makes the bad writing worse. It doesn’t help that they cut to the same fucking shot of Dean 3 times. The chemistry in that scene makes it feel so fucking hackneyed. Because it is. 

This combines lead me to the point: (wait there was a point to this?)

As someone who does not have the luxury of watching this capsized ship fall into boiling seas from a distance, it is less insulting to me that they did this so last minute and then sent Cas to the Void than it is how they did it. They had ingredients for something that could have been compelling enough to me as a former fan of the show to think that they had put effort into it, that they had decided months, perhaps even years ago to do this, and had crafted a storyline around it. That this was an intentional decision they cared about. It wasn’t. It was barely even pandering, because it’s almost insultingly blatant. 

SPN kinda proved to me that it didn’t care about queers when Charlie was killed off. It proved it to me again when Cas, not only died in confessing his love for Dean but did it in the weakest result of what could have been a surprisingly strong story.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Love, Maybe? {32}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Cursing, Plot, Slow, Smoldering, Torturous Burn 😊, 

Word Count: 7.2K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive***

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️  ❤️ ❤️

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Chapter 32: The Big Two!!!

-Vixen-

  “Everyone ready?”

  Your parents, Nexus and Chris all nodded. You opened the door, and all of you walked into Ella’s room. She was still fast asleep. As you approached, you all just gawked at her sleeping frame. She was sheer perfection. You had a flash of the last two years and every milestone, every smile, every ounce of joy she’d brought you and you teared up. Nexus nudged you, and you looked around at them as the tears fell.

  “Sorry. Okay, let’s go.”

  Everyone began singing “happy birthday.” By the time you got to the third repetition, Ella stirred and opened her eyes to look at all of you sing. Her smile lite up her face, and she slid to the headboard of the bed to watch all of you. Her big eyes went to each of you. She was only two, but you knew her soul was much older. She saw with more than just her eyes. When the song finished Dodger bounded in leaping onto the bed and licked at her face. She giggled and squirmed around the bed. Chris took hold of Dodger trying to get him under control through his laughs.

  “Happy Birthday Kristella,” you said holding out the extra large cupcake to her that had two lit candles sticking out. She smiled widely.

“Make a wish lucky charm,” your father urged. Ella put a thoughtful look on her face then smiled again.

  “I want a pony.” Everyone laughed and shook their heads.

  “Nice try.” She giggled and blew out the candles. Everyone around her clapped their hands and cheered. Even Dodger got in on the noise and barked to his heart’s content. You handed her the cupcake, and she wasted no time devouring it. Dodger licked at her lap catching every crumb that fell then jumped on her again licking at her mouth, trying to literally take the food out her mouth.

  You stood there watching her and looked around to your family, Chris included. This was his first birthday with her, and despite everything you were happy he was around. His eyes met yours, and he scrunched his nose as if asking if you were okay. Nodding you focused back on Ella and sat beside her.

  “So, birthday girl, what do you want to do?”

  “Poowl.”

  Again, everyone laughed. The next several minutes were spent in her room, chatting and laughing and just enjoying being together. Last year this time it was just your family and a few of your friends. This year things would be a lot different and a lot more crowded.

  Every time your eyes met Chris’,  you could tell he was full of emotion. You worried he was thinking about the fact he’d missed two birthdays before this one. You hoped he wasn’t resenting you for it. When he was the first to look away that worry turned into a deep fear. It had to have been a lot, you thought to yourself. As easy as you wanted the day to go you had a nagging feeling that today would not go as planned.

  After everyone sat in amazement just watching her, breakfast was on the agenda next. You made your father’s famous cornmeal porridge, and everyone enjoyed it even Chris, who admitted it was his first time having the staple dish from your childhood. Everyone joked because he’d never had any black in his life until now, then teased him about that old tired line “Once you go black you never go back.” You rolled your eyes at them when their eyes fell to you and made sure to refrain from looking at Chris. He was gracious about the teasing and even slid in a little joke about “once you go white you just might take a second bite.” You thought back to the same thought you had three years ago when you first saw him in the bed. Everyone loved it and hollered with laughter. That was when you knew your parents and even your sister had fully accepted him into the fold. Yet another chain was secured around you and Ella.  

  After breakfast and a little pool time, you, Nexus, and Chris went to the venue to inspect the grounds leaving Ella behind with your parents. What you saw when you got there blew your mind. It looked like a two-year-old’s dream come to life. Everything she could possibly want was there, balloons galore, bouncy houses of plenty, games, and sweets. That was just the beginning though. When you saw the actual living pony your jaw dropped. You knew just who to look at.

  Chris pinched his lips and tried to give you an innocent look. You weren’t buying it. “A pony, Chris, really?”

  “Look, my daughter said she wanted a pony for her birthday, and I am gonna give her that darn pony.” His tone was assertive but playful all at once. Everyone snickered around you. You simply shook your head.

  “Two and already you’re wrapped around her pinky. It’s sad, Evans.” He smiled wide and fanned you off.

  The inspection continued, and everything you saw was perfect. It was just how you’d imagined, and the venue itself was so beautiful. Nature was Ella’s thing. She loved flowers and being out on the grass and sunshine, so this place was a no brainer. Not to mention it was private and secure. Chris made sure to hire plenty of security for the day and made sure this was kept top secret. You both were on the same page about keeping Ella protected at all costs. Fame was a disease, and it spread quickly if precautions were not taken—Chris’ words.

  You spoke with the catering manager who was setting up and inspected all the dishes. If you weren’t doing the cooking you wanted to remain as hands-on as possible when it came to the food. It was tough for you to just leave it up to someone else; it was an important day. After fifteen minutes of checking and overseeing, you stepped away tried to get away from momzilla mode. You made it to a nearby creek and stared into the water at the Koi fish happily flitting in the water. It was relaxing, so relaxing you didn’t hear Chris approach.

  “So, everything to your liking?” You nodded.

  “Yes, they did incredible. Ella will love it.”

  “Good, I’m glad. I’m really excited for her to see it. I can already imagine her big ol’ eyes,” Chris said while bugging his eyes for emphasis. He looked just like her.

  “It’s insane how much you two look alike. That was all her just now.” He smiled wide again.

  “Was it hard?”

  “Was what hard?” He was staring into the creek; then, he looked to you.

  “Was it hard having her look so much like me?”

  You held his gaze and bit your tongue. What were you going to say?

  “Hell yeah, it was hard. You try looking at your child and seeing her father who shredded my self confidence and trust I had in my ability to read and assess people.”

  You cleared your throat and looked away back to the fish. “I uh—I don’t think I know what you mean.”

  “Yeah, you do.”

  You scoffed, he’d just called you out and seen right through your façade. You didn’t know how you felt about that. Again, you cleared your throat.

  “I mean—it wasn’t easy.” Chris nodded but kept quiet. After almost two minutes, he began again.

  “Vixen, about that night and yesterday--.”

  “Vix!”

  The two of you looked back to see Nexus waving you over. You nodded. “Come on.” You walked off first.

  The five of you finished looking over the venue and signing off on everything then made your way back to the house. On the drive, your mind was a thousand miles away. You wondered what he was going to say before he was interrupted. It could have been anything, and that was what made you think even harder about it. Was he going to apologize for it? Maybe, say he regretted it?

  Before you knew it, the near forty-minute drive was over, and you were again back at the house. Once you climbed out Ella was running toward you completely naked with a massive smile on her face. Your laugh was the loudest it had been in weeks. Back in San Francisco Ella loved to walk around naked. At any given moment she would rip all her clothes off and just chill in the nude. It was hilarious when you were home but not so funny when you were out, and she had the urge for freedom. You lifted her in your arms and tickled her.

  “She literally jumped out of the bath when she heard the car,” your mother informed. Laughing, you kissed her all over her face.

  “Naked again, huh.” Ella smiled wide and nodded.

  “No cwose.”

  “Really? So that means you’re not going to wear the amazing dress I got you for your big day?” Ella looked to you with curiosity shining in her eyes.

  “Yeah, it’s gorgeous. Pink. Poofy. Oh so cute, and did I say unicorns?” Her eyes lit up, and you smiled.

  “But if you don’t want to wear clothes, then we’ll just have to throw it in the garbage.” You put her down and continued to walk. She stood there in the front yard, and you knew the look on her face was a focused defiant one. She was weighing her options. You knew before you got to the door she’d be whistling a different tune.

  Sure enough, once you stepped off the grass, she screamed.

  “Mama, no thow way, mine.” You smiled.

  “You have to catch me to get it.” You ran back onto the grass, and she chased you. Every time she was close you evaded her. The defiant look faded, and she was soon laughing and squealing.

  “Da-da, hewp!” As if on command, Chris chased after you with serious intent in his eyes. You took off and evaded him as well.

  After a minute, the two of them had ganged up on you and were coming from either side of you. Chris ducked down and grasped your legs then threw you over his shoulder, forcing a scream from you.

  “Got her!” Ella squealed and ran to his side. With his other hand, he took her up and threw her over his other shoulder.

  “Gah oo mama, gah oo.”

  Another ten minutes found you and Ella in her bathtub together, just like old times. As you washed, you played and chatted about random things. You loved moments like these with her. Loved when everything slowed down and nothing else mattered but you and her talking, laughing and cuddling. You were so in love with this little girl you doubted you could love another living soul this way.  A little more than halfway through, the bathroom door opened and Chris stood there half dressed. When he realized what he’d walked in on he immediately turned his back.

  “I’m sorry. I thought you were giving her a bath, not taking one.”

  You didn’t feel embarrassed or even shy. You should have, the last time you’d been this naked in front of him was the night at his house. You felt the opposite of shy or embarrassed. “It’s fine. You can turn around. It’s nothing you haven’t seen before.”

  “Where the hell did that come from?”

  Chris’ back remained turned. “That was a long time ago. Time changes everything.” You smirked.

  “Are you saying--.” Chris cleared his throat loudly.

  “I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  “You can turn around, Chris.”

  Slowly he turned to face you. You saw his eyes quickly roam lower than your face, but they snapped right back up.

  “I um—I actually came to give Ella a gift.” You nodded, and he proceeded and approached the side of the tub then stooped down.

  “Um—Ella--.” He froze and looked like a deer caught in headlights. You wondered what he was thinking or what was wrong. You couldn’t decipher the look, but you did recognize something that looked like fear.

  “Chris?”

  He shook his head, took a deep breath, and released it. “Later.” He stood and walked out the bathroom leaving you stunned and confused. Ella, on the other hand, went right back to playing with her toys.

  “What the heck was that?”

  ~~~~~~~~

  When you all walked downstairs, everyone was waiting for you. “May I present, Kristella Raelle the official birthday girl.”

  She came downstairs decked out in her unicorn birthday tutu outfit with a bright smile. Everyone let out an audible “aw.”

  “It meeee!” She posed with her hands high in the air. Just like that, she stole the show. Chris came forward and dropped to one knee and gently took her hand.

“You’re a beautiful princess.” Ella smiled shyly, then hid her face on his chest and latched her arms around his neck. Chris wrapped his arms around her and hugged her. Your eyes met Nexus’ who smiled and looked near melting. She was supposed to be the strong one.

  When you all walked outside a bus, and another car pulled up. Once they parked, Anthony got out the car and walked toward Nexus, and all the Evans’ poured out the bus that was playing some kidz bop playlist. You looked to Nexus who was hugging onto Anthony before she let him go to shake your father’s hand and kiss your mother’s cheek. When he came up to you he hugged you.

  “What a surprise.”

  “Is it really? Wherever she is, I’ll go,” Anthony responded with a smile and wink to your sister. You smiled.

  “Thank you for coming, man.” Chris greeted him with a brotherly hug.

  “Of course. Am I officially the godfather yet? I’d make an amazing black godfather right.” You laughed and shook your head.

  “Play your cards right, and you might be uncle instead,” you hinted. Anthony gave a wide toothy smile as he rubbed the back of his neck.

“Really, the “not the settling down kind” is settling down?”

  “Enough about me--.” He bent down to Ella, took her hand, and shook it. “Hi there birthday girl, I’m Anthony. Happy birthday!” She smiled and nodded.

  “I two.”

  “I see. A great age. Your auntie Nex has your gift for later, okay.” Ella nodded just as Chris’ family came over.

  “What are you guys doing here?

  “We talked with Vixen, she thought it would be nice to have everyone arrive together, that way the kids can all get some time together,” Carly informed. Chris looked at you, and you smiled and nodded.

  You watched Chris’ niece and nephews run to Ella and hug her. Surprisingly she accepted the hugs and didn’t cry. When Chris’ niece took her hand and led her toward the bus, Ella walked off with them. After a few steps, she stopped and looked back at you. Giving her a reassuring nod, you fanned her off. She smiled and continued walking. The rest of you followed and climbed onto the bus that was decked out with everything a kid could want. It didn’t take long for the pre-party to start and you were relieved there was no tension in the air.

  ~~~~~~~~

“Oh my god, it’s perfect,” Lisa exclaimed taking in every detail.

  You had to admit it was even more astonishing completed. There were already quite a few people there, and you guessed they were friends of Chris and his family. As you walked around, you were relieved when you saw some of your friends from San Fran. Drea, Jia, Joan, and Angie pulled you into a group hug. It was a hug you didn’t know you needed, a hug you were grateful for. They all spoke at once about different things; Drea talked about the venue, Joan about the other party guest, Angie talked about the cute guys, and Jai about how cute Ella looked.

  All of them played a significant role in making you who you were now. You and Joan went to culinary school together and became thick as thieves. Jai and Drea were your college friends, and they were the ones to credit to your wild party ways back in Vegas. Angie was a mutual friend of yours and Nexus who you’d met her through. All of them knew you before you had what you had now. All of them were there for you when they found out you were pregnant and all of them had remained by your side. You were nervous to have them here to officially meet Chris. When all the revelations began you’d told them over group Facetime and all their jaws hit the floor. None of them spoke badly about you, they joked about how much of a freak you were, but they never degraded you.

  Ella ran to your legs giggling. All your friends dropped down to her and fawned all over her and how cute she looked. Ella ate it up. She loved being the center of attention, loved being complimented. You watched on adoringly and shook your head at her antics. When she’d had enough, she ran away again, finding one of her cousins. From across the grass your eyes met Chris’. He smiled warmly, and it made your heart pound.

  “Let’s hit the bar,” Angie’s voice broke through before you were pulled away, breaking the eye contact.

  You passed several people and welcomingly smiled at each of them. Once you got to the bar and ordered your drinks, the six of you then found some seats away from any groups.

  “Finally. Girl, there are a lot of white guys here.” You laughed loudly and shook your head.

  “You are in Boston.”

  “Speaking of Boston. Vixen! Your baby daddy is Chris fuckin’ Evans!”

  Nexus clasped her hand over Jai’s mouth. You hoped no one heard her.

  “Sorry, but my god. Who knew you had that much fun in Vegas.” Again the six of you cackled.

  “No wonder Ella has blue eyes. Like how we didn’t put two and two together is unfathomable,” Drea added.

  “So, how are things going with you two?”

  “Fine. He’s adjusting. He’s really good with Ella. She told me the other day she likes him. things are—surprisingly great.”

  “And how are things down—there,” Joan signaled to your crotch. You gasped and gaped at her.

  “Oh hell no, that is how we know the situation is dire,” Angie exclaimed. The five of them laughed at you. You weren’t amused. Glaring at Nexus she pinched her lips.

  “Hey, hey, we can’t all gang up on her.”

  “Maybe that’s what she needs to finally, finally, finally get a nut.”

  Your jaw dropped. You could not believe they were ganging up on you about your sex life—or lack thereof.

  “On second thought, I can believe it.”

  You sipped your drink and sat quietly with your nose turned up like some uppity housewife.

  “Okay, Vixen. What is the problem?”

  “There is no problem? We are parents; we share a child. Neither of us want anything beyond that,” you flat out lied through your teeth. You were surprised the good lord didn’t strike you down.

  They all just stared at you, not speaking one word. Each of their expressions equated to one collective thought.

  “You are a damn liar, and we know it,” Jai voiced. They all nodded collectively.

  “Vixen?” Looking back, you saw Chris approaching with his hands up.

  “Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.”

  “Oh you are not interrupting at all. Chris let me introduce you to our friends--,” Nexus began as she stood. “This is Drea.” She took his offered hand and curtsied like he was some royal. “Jai.”

  Jai took his hand with the tips of hers and shook it. “Charmed.” You pinched your lips together, trying to hold in the laugh.

  “This is Joan.” Joan was the sensible one who just smiled wide and nodded her head profusely as if she were a bobblehead. “Angie.” Angie was the one to pull him into a tight hug.

  “Oh my god, he’s really that muscular in real life. His shoulders are built for gripping as you--.”

  You cleared your throat loudly, shaking your head at your friends. Chris looked amused. When he looked back at you, you gave a demure smile.

  “It’s very nice to meet you all. Any friend of Nex and Vix is a friend of mine. Thank you all for coming.” Again, your friends nodded as if their mouths didn’t work. On second thought, you were glad they didn’t speak again. You never knew what was going to come out next. Chris turned to you.

  “I came over because I uh—wanted to introduce you around to my people so everyone knows who you are. Hopefully, after today, they’ll no longer just be my people, but ours—yours.” It was a sweet gesture. You smiled and nodded.

  “Yeah. Give me a second. I’ll be there.” Chris nodded, looked back to your friends, and smiled warmly. “It was great meeting you guys again; I hope we have time to talk later.”

  “Bet your ass we will,” Jai responded. Nexus stood there snickering while doing a lousy job trying to hide it. Chris walked away smiling.

  “You heifers are the worst!”

  “And you are a damn liar if I’ve ever seen one! Vixen Star Giovanni, what is the problem?” Angie cornered with her arms crossed. The others looked equally as confrontational.

  “What?”

  “You said neither of you is interested in more. That man is clearly interested in more,” Joan took over.

  “What?”

  “And so are you,” Jai added.

  “Mmm, this tea is delicious,” Nexus remarked as she sipped from her glass.

  “Oh shut up, that is not tea, you not slick. Look I have to go. All of you behave, don’t make the white people uncomfortable. Remember your home training,” you joked before you turned and walked away.

  Chris introduced you to so many people; there was no way you were going to remember them all. There were aunts, uncles, cousins, best friends, distant relatives, old classmates, acquaintances. It seemed everyone who had every brushed past him was at this party. As he spoke with them, they didn’t seem like strangers. They all seemed like family. He spoke warmly to them all, laughed and joked and embraced them all. It was here you saw he was a charming and likable guy. Everybody loved Chris.

  “You never had a chance. It was inevitable.”

  After nearly an hour, you were in the middle of conversation surrounded by quite a few Evans’ and it really did seem like bygones were bygones and you were grateful. When you drifted away on your own, you looked around at everyone and everything, and it felt like such a perfect day. Ella happily played with a group of children including her cousins, your parents were talking to Chris’ mother and a few other grownups, your friends were mingling and even looked to be enjoying themselves, and no one looked angry, or uncomfortable it was like everyone seamlessly fit together despite everything.

  “Penny for your thoughts.” His voice was deep and low ad without turning around you knew it was his. A chill ran up your spine, making you shiver. When you turned around, he had a slight smile on his face.

  “Just a penny? Aren’t you some mega-superstar movie actor? Shouldn’t you be able to afford a lot more than a penny?”

  He smiled wider and held out one of the glasses he held. “I can; I can afford to give you the world if you want it, Vixen. Say the word.”

  “Holy shit.”

  Just like that, your mouth ran dry, and you were sure you were going to pass out from the lack of oxygen flowing through you. They were words, but they packed a hell of a punch. You quickly took the glass and downed its contents in one breath.

  “Woah, slow down, that was Whiskey.”

  Pressing your hand to your abdomen, you tried to slow the butterflies, but they wouldn’t stop.

  “I could use another.”

  “You sure?” You nodded.

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.” He walked off in the direction of the bar, and you turned your back and took a few deep breaths and focused on slowing your heart and stopping the fluttering taking over your being.

  Before you realized it, you were walking into a separate building with glass-domed ceilings and walls. As you walked inside you marveled at the sight of the flowers and fountains. It was unbelievably gorgeous. You got lost taking it all in; you didn’t even realize he’d walked in.

  “There you are.”

   -Chris-

“Holy Christ, she’s gorgeous.”

  The sight of you standing in the middle of all the flora and fauna made his hands shake. You were breathtaking.

  “This is where I should have married her.”

  “Sorry, I didn’t know I’d wandered off until I got here.”

  He looked behind him, making sure you were alone, then he forged ahead.

  “This place is incredible. I love flowers,” you informed.

  “I know, I remember.” He held out the glass filled with double whiskey. You smiled as you took it. Your hand grazed his, and your eyes met again. After a few seconds, you pulled back and walked away further down the cobbled path. He gulped his drink and turned to walk on the other side.

  Neither of you spoke. You gawked at all the flowers and looked to be lost in your own head. He wondered what you were thinking about. He wondered at the possibility that you were thinking about him and everything that had transpired between you. He wanted to ask, but again, the disconcerting emotion of fear gripped him. For some reason, he felt he had a lot to lose if, in fact, he put himself out there, and you shot him down. He looked away from you and ahead of him and got lost in his thoughts.

  “The world, huh.”

  He smiled and nodded.

  “Do you want it?” He chanced a look at you and found your eyes were already on him. You walked staring at each other, and the humidity in the room seemed to rise.

  “She has to feel it too.”

  “I do.” He smiled remembered the last time you’d said those two words to him--once upon a time in a little white chapel. “But I want to take it for myself,” you added. He expected it and smiled. Her independence was one of the sexiest things about her, but it was also the most intimidating thing.

  “Would you let me help?” You smiled, looked away, and sipped your drink as your path converged with his. You came to a stop just as he did in front of you.

  “Why?” He slowly trailed his eyes over every feature of your face then raised his hand to brush your hair back from your jaw. His fingertips crazed your skin, and he took notice of it shaking.

  “You deserve it,” he whispered. You smiled and walked to the stone steps and sat.

  “The day Ella was born was insane. She was a week late, so I thought I could get away with getting some work done and take one of my final assessments. So against everyone’s advice, I snuck off to take one of my assessments. I had to cook a ten-course meal in two hours. So I waddled and grunted my way around that kitchen and handled my business, not accepting any sort of help with reaching things despite my huge belly always getting in the way.

  “I see where Ella gets her stubbornness.” You looked at him with your eyebrow crooked. He smiled and motioned as if he were zipping his lips.

  “Thank you, peanut gallery. Anyway, a little more than an hour into the assessment I started to feel some pain. I wasn’t sure what it was. It felt like heartburn, so I pushed through it. Twenty minutes after they first began I was bending for something in the oven and splash my water breaks right there. Everyone gasps and comes to me asking if I’m okay if I need to go to the hospital. I tell them no, I’m fine. I am going to finish this assessment come hell or--.”

  “Amniotic fluid?” Again, your eyes shot to him like darts, this time they were narrowed. He smiled and raised his hands in surrender.

  “So I continue cooking. Ten minutes after my water breaks, the real pain starts, and I shit you not, it was the worst thing I have ever felt in my entire life. I felt like someone was trying to pull my exoskeleton out of my body through my crotch. It was excruciating, but I refused to fail my assessment. I pushed through it and fought the urge to roll in a ball and cry. By the time I finished my assessment I was ready to pass out, but I’d be damned if my face betrayed that. They judged the food, my techniques, and kitchen management. After they gave me the best scores of the entire class I politely asked for them to call an ambulance. Forty minutes later I was pushing her out and boom, she was out.”

  He smiled as he watched you.

  “She was so beautiful, so small, six pounds but damn were her lungs strong, she cried and cried and cried.” A laugh escaped him.

  “When they put her on my chest and her eyes locked on to mine, she stopped crying and just stared at me. It was like she recognized my soul; she recognized me. When I first looked in her eyes I saw you. I don’t know what emotion ran through me, but it was so strong all I could do was bawl. I felt so many things, but it was a strange mix of joy and sorrow. I wished you were there, looking at her I wished it so damn hard. I wanted you there.”

  He didn’t know what to do with that. A tear streaked down his cheek, and he reached out and took your hand. You looked at him, and he saw the tears in your eyes.

 “I’m so sorry Chris. I really, really am. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen. I didn’t mean to rob you of that day, the pregnancy, her first year, or this last one. I am so, so sorry.” You were sobbing now; your body shook with the power of your grief.

  “It’s okay.” It was all he could muster.

  “It’s not though. You’ve been so good, so kind, and I don’t deserve it.”

  Your head was down. He cupped your face turning you to him. He used his thumbs to wipe your tears away.

  “Of course, you deserve it. Are you looking at me? You deserve so much. Yeah, I wasn’t there for the pregnancy or her birth, and you had to go through it alone. That sucks, I would have loved to be there for it all, even though I probably would have screwed something or everything up. I’ve told you I understand why you did it. I’ve moved on from it, Vix. You’ve been such an amazing mom to our baby girl. It’s because of you she is such an incredible child, so smart, funny, loving, sweet, carefree, funny, and caring. She learned it all from you; she took your grace, your beauty, your kind heart, and beautiful soul. You deserve more than the world, you always have. You just have to let me give it to you. I want to give it to you.”

  Your chest was heaving, and his heart was racing. He’d really said that. He hoped you didn’t pull away as you’d been doing since reacquainting. He didn’t want to force you into something you didn’t want, but he didn’t know what he’d do if you pulled away.

  “Let me give you the world and so much more.” Slowly your faces moved closer, and the closer they got, the faster his heart pounded. He was sure you could hear it. Just as your lips were about to touch he heard someone loudly clearing their throat. You both turned your head to see his mother and your sister.  After a few seconds you shot to a standing position.

  “Ehm, Nex.” You descended the steps and began walking back down the path to them. He dropped his head and tried to control his emotions. Your father’s words echoed in his head.

  “Rome wasn’t built in a day. It was a long strenuous, complex, infuriating task. It wasn’t for the faint of heart or the weak.”

  He rose and followed you down the path to his mother who had an apologetic look on her face. You were long gone.

  ~~~~~~~~~

She was so happy; he thought as he sat and watched his daughter eat a third slice of her birthday cake, a cake you’d made. You said you could hand over the reins of cooking for the event, but you could not or would not hand over the cake. It was Ella’s favorite, coconut with a mixture of vanilla and pineapple filling. He could tell, her face was covered in icing and filling, and she looked thrilled about it.

  While he was slightly disappointed he hadn’t been there for her the last two years; he was grateful to be there now. This morning watching you sing happy birthday to her he felt the sorrow of missing out, felt the pain of it, but it wasn’t pain that was laced with resentment. It was pain of what could have been. It was longing. He felt it again in the solarium only it was stronger.

  As the day continued and everyone mingled around and enjoyed themselves, he was always wrapped up in his thoughts and feelings. Even seeing your family and friends and his mixing he felt happiness he’d worried that something might have gone wrong, but everything was holding steady, and the day was almost finished. Every time his eyes met yours you were the first to look away. He had to fight every urge to throw you over his shoulder and finish your conversation, but instead he thought about how he could make you stop pulling away.

  By the time everyone said their goodbyes, it was well past ten, and Ella was fast asleep in his arms. When the party bus dropped the seven of you back to the house he was mentally exhausted. He allowed you to tuck Ella in while he got a needed drink. He wandered off to the backyard and to the pool. After rolling up his pants and taking off his shoes and socks he dipped his feet into the cool water. As he drank he stared at the sky. Here the only stars that mattered were always visible, unlike LA. He’d always been such a space and science nerd and spent many nights staring at the sky and all the stars. He loved finding them and studying them, wondering what it would be like to see them up close.

He didn’t realize how long he’d been sitting there staring at the sky until he heard the French doors open. When he looked back, you stood there.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” you began.

  “It’s fine. You’re not. Want a drink to celebrate a successful second birthday and the successful merger of our family and friends?” You smiled and walked to him. When you sat beside him he handed you his glass. You didn’t hesitate to take a sip from it.

  “Oh my god, what a day.”

  “Yeah, this was my first time going to my child’s birthday party, and I have to say I think I loved it as much as she did. that bouncy castle was so fun.”

  You snorted and laughed. When he looked at you, you didn’t stop; you just kept laughing.

  “What’s so funny?”

  “You are such a big kid.”

  He smiled and nodded as he took his glass back to take a sip.

  “You’re right, I am. Guess I’ve always been one.”

  “It’s great, so—wholesome.”

  “Was that a compliment?” you rolled your eyes and took the glass back and took a mouthful.

  “I’m shocked. I didn’t think you were capable of giving me compliments.”

  “Shut up. I give you plenty of comments,” you defended.

  “Ha. Give says present, and I can attest that you have never given me a compliment.”

  “Out loud. I give you plenty of compliments in my head.” You took another mouthful.

  “Like what? Tell me one.” You looked as if you were thinking or debating if you should. You took another drink from the glass and scrunched your face.

  “You’re a great father to Ella.” Your eyes met. This was the only compliment he cared about. This meant the most.

  “You’re kind. You’re talented. You’re gentle. You’re patient. You’re—great.” The last was a whisper, and your eyes fell to the pool.

  He slid off the floor and into the water, fully clothed. You sat there with your eyes wide. “Come on; you know you want to.” You shook your head. he motioned again and approached you to wade between your parted legs. He hooked his hands around your waist and lifted you into the water, all the while never breaking eye contact.

  Once you were in the water, neither of you moved away. He drifted closer closing the distance between you. Your back pressed to the wall of the pool, and his hands held onto the edge of the stone floor right beside either side of your head. You were boxed in. Slowly he moved his lips to yours. Still, you didn’t move. When he was centimeters from your mouth he stopped. He needed you to travel the rest. His confidence and heart needed the reassurance. You didn’t move for what felt like eternity, and just when he was about to back off and dwell in disappointment you closed the distance and touched your lips to his and took lead of a slow, timid kiss. He didn’t move and allowed you this time to figure out what you wanted to do—how far you wanted to go.

  Slowly your timid kiss turned teasing. Your tongue flicked against his lips before your teeth nibbled. By that time, he was having a hard time restraining himself. When he felt your tongue tangle with his, that was the end of his control. He dropped his hands not the water, grasped your thighs, and lifted you onto him. You wrapped your legs around him, and he pressed into you. Your moan vibrated on him, and the need for you was unmistakable. He noted it went past physical though. He didn’t just want to get you into his bed. He didn’t actually want that at all. He almost lost his balance when he realized it. This wasn’t about sex.

  He pushed off the wall and took you with him gliding through the water. Your lips danced the passionate tango of desire. Neither of you were fighting the other for control, both of you were just allowing the moment to unfold how it would. Your arms wrapped around his neck to dig your fingers into his hair. Your grip on his hair tightened as you pulled his head back to look into his eyes. The moment was hazy, but you both knew an important decision was being made this very second. You could have blamed the first few kisses on accidents that the both of you got caught up in the moment; this one though, was a conscious decision. This moment was the both of you admitting and accepting that there was something here—something neither of you could ignore any longer. Something that was there three years ago, something that both of you’d thrown away all those years ago.

  You placed a soft kiss on his lips while your eyes remained open. He slowly engaged in the kiss keeping his eyes on you as well. His back collided with one of the walls of the pool, and your legs adjusted to hang at his side. He moved his hands to hold you better against him spreading his palms across your backside. It was then the kiss intensified. Neither of you cared if you were being watched, all that mattered was everything he was feeling in just this simple kiss.

  “It’s always been like this, Vixen. Tell me you realize that.” You searched his eyes and bit your bottom lip.

  “Tell me—please,” he whispered, and all the vulnerability he felt came through in his voice.

  “Always.” He placed a soft kiss on you then pulled back.

  “Do you feel this? Or am I crazy and imagining things?” You kissed his cheek, then his jaw and finally his neck. He closed his eyes to fully enjoy the feel of your lips on his skin. He’d forgotten what if felt like. He’d dreamt of it, but he’d forgotten. His groan betrayed how good it felt. You softly bit him and then his earlobe.

  “You’re not crazy,” you whispered. He moved his hands from your ass to cup your skull and pull your head back so he could see your eyes.

  “I’m not?” you shook your head and crashed your lips to his. This was an urgent kiss, one that said you wanted him. Your moans wafted through the air together, and the water served as the bouncing board. Before he could make a move to lift you out the water to make it inside he heard crying. Your lips pulled from his.

  “Ella.”

  “I’ll go.” You pulled yourself from him as he walked out of the pool and dripped his way to the door.

  He quickly made it inside the house to Ella’s room to find her tossing and turning.

  “Ssshh, it’s okay, princess. I’m here.” He placed his hand on her forehead and gently rubbed. After a few moments, her whining settled, but she still tossed and turned. He began humming what he’d heard you hum more than a few times. Slowly she settled and drifted back to a restful sleep.

  When he reemerged, you were sitting on the stone with your feet in the pool. Somehow he knew things were different now. You turned to him, and the look on your face said it all. His absence gave you time to conceal and pull away—yet again.

  “It’s late; I’m exhausted.” He nodded, unsure what hurt more, the chill of your pull away or the heat of you pulling him closer. Maybe they both hurt the same, he thought. You stood and walked to the door.

  “Tomorrow night, will you have dinner with me?”

  “Dinner?” You looked at him with confusion. “Are you asking me out?”

  “Yes, I am.” You looked shocked and speechless. He liked speechless you.

  “Uh—okay.”

  “Okay.” You nodded, turned, and walked inside only to reemerge a few seconds later.

  “Wait, like a date?” He smiled. It was as if you’d never been asked out before, or you couldn’t believe he was doing it.

  “Yes, like a date, with me tomorrow night.”

  “Okay. Goodnight.” Again, you were gone leaving him standing there.

  It had taken him three years to ask for this date. He’d jumped past everything. He’d done marriage, then baby carriage, then love. This date was three years overdue.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

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[narcis-the-monk]

FC5 GFH Tag

tagged by @chyrstis​ thank you soooooooo much!!!!!!!! This was a hell of a lot of fun, and I’m going to eventually do my other deputy as well. I went with Val the first time because I’ve been writing her for a minute now. ^^;; But this honestly helped me figure her out a little more, so thank you again <3

Deputy Valya Vitale

With Fangs for Hire:

     • Boomer: “Hey boy, you’re being a real good dog. I’m sure your folks know that.” / *patting her legs* “Who’s the best boy? Who’s the best dog that rips out peggie throats? That’s right!” *sound of laughter* “It’s you!” / “I fuckin’ love this dog.”      • Peaches: “Never been a cat person, but I’ll make an exception for you.” / “You think catnip works on cougars? I’m looking for some every place we check now.” / “Yes ma’am. You will absolutely get that treat I have for you when we stop next. I know you smell it.”      • Cheeseburger: “This is the best fuckin’ day of my life. I’m fighting with a bear. I think we’ll win.” / “I never knew what I needed in life was to pet a big ol’ grizzly bear. I mean, I’ve been hugged by bears before. Just not this kind. And I love it just as much, if not more.” / “Next time we stop to fish, I’m catching you so much food. Just for being you.”

With other Guns for Hire: Sharky      • “Hey Shark, remember when we got trashed down by the river? Pretty sure this is the spot. Cause I remember you puking there. And there. And me over there. And that’s where I lost my shoe. Hey! There’s my shoe! Small mysteries are solved each day.”      • “Hey buddy, how about if the enemy is say…whatever you’d rank a 3 out of 5 or higher…we don’t set it on fire?”      • “You won’t hear me say this one a lot, so appreciate it. But you were right. Fire was the answer.”      • “You are an absolute mad man and I love the shit out of you, but I need to fight upwind of you from now on. Smoke in my eyes and throat when I’m trying to scream in the face of some asshole that punched me in the tit isn’t what I’d call fantastic. Your aim is so much better now though.”

Grace      • “I’ll give you 20 bucks and my last good beer if you can shoot three peggies in the dick at the next outpost.” *when she’s met with silence* “Guessin’ that’s a no, then.”      • “You have the patience of a saint. I can’t wait even 30 seconds to let my food cool, let alone wait for some asshole to walk out from behind a pole. Fuckin’ amazin’.”

Hurk      • “Watch where you point that thing! And stop laughing, you know I’m not talking about your dick. That’s not an actual threat and we both know it.” *eventually starts laughing with him*      • “I ever tell you how much I love your stories? I never know how they’ll end. I love a good plot twist.”      • “Remember when you, me, and Shark got that moose drunk and we all spent the night in a tree? I’m pretty sure that moose remembers us. He is not a fan.”

Adelaide      • “You keep wonderin’ how they fuck—and that is a point of interest we can revisit later—but I’m wonderin’ how they do every day shit. Like, Jacob’s—does he hunt or does he fish? If he prefers hunting, that tells me big facts about him. They’re both about sittin’ and waiting, right? Schemin’ the right moment to move. One just makes you feel like a big boy, cause you get to hold a gun.  Hey, look at that. This time I left you speechless.”      • “Been considerin’ this for a minute, and if anyone ever asks I’ll deny it up and down and throw you under the bus all in one but…fuck Faith, marry Jacob, and kill Joseph. Last one was hard as fuck.”      • “I need you to just…stop talking for a while. Let’s say 30 minutes. 30 minutes of silence so my brain can finish bleaching itself. Thanks.”

Nick      • “You’re lucky you’ve got guns on that thing, or I’d be giving you a lot more shit about never putting your feet on the ground. I got literally nothin’ else to pick on you with that’s fair.”      • “So how different are planes from cars on a scale of one to ten? I’m just figurin’ out if some shit went wrong and you aren’t near…how fucked are we? Things to think about.”      • “You know, never really liked flyin’. My head’s in the clouds too much for my feet to be too. But I gotta say…you are damn good at it. Almost makes me wanna try. Almost.”

Jess      • “I mean, sure, its satisfying to line up the perfect shot from a mile away and nail it. I’ve been hunting, Jess. I’m just saying, for me personally, I’m a bigger fan of an oar or a baseball bat to the face when I can get it. Makes it personal, and all of this is very fuckin’ personal now.”      • “Look, I don’t like talkin’ about my feelings either, so I’m just gonna hug you.” *stalls after getting the evil eye but hugs quickly* “You are two feet tall and maybe ninety pounds. Like I’m scared of you this close up.”      • “If you were a part of breakfast, you’d be the coffee Jess. Dark and harsh, but great for a wakeup call.”

In Combat      • Seeing an enemy: “I’m on ‘em like flies on shit.” / “You got that one?”      • Sneaking: *mumbled string of ‘fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck’ whenever she moves a long distance* / “Man, fuck this sneaking shit right in the skull.”      • Killing an enemy: “Boo-fuckin-YAH bitch!” / *if you make your shot* “Hellyeah! That’s what I’m talkin’ about!”      • Reviving: “Nope. Not today. Gotta keep you on your feet.” / “Get the fuck up, it’s not the time for a lie down!”      • Hurt: “Well fuck me sideways. I’m alright, keep moving.” / “That’s definitely leavin’ a mark!” / “Oh go fuck yourself!”      • Downed: “Just need a minute here.” / “I think I need a hand up here!” / “Keep goin’, don’t waste time if you don’t got it.” Driving      • If asked to drive: “This may be the best decision you’ve made all day. Buckle up tight.” / “Alright, but seatbelts on or we don’t go anywhere at all.”      • Driving recklessly: “See, this is why I insist on seatbelts!” / “Slow the fuck down or you’ll fuck this car up! I ain’t seen another available ride in a minute!”      • Changing radio stations: “Will you settle on something? Oh, sorry, forgot where I was. Thought everything was normal and Shark was fiddlin’ with the radio again.” / “Cult’s fucked…but I’m okay with their music for the most part.”

Idle      • “Used to have a snake. He was a huge boa constrictor. He liked to kinda just wrap around me like I was a tree. It felt like the best hug there ever was.”      • “Did you know I grew up in Vegas? That place really is a constant party, even away from the strip if you know where to look. It’s not a great thing when you’ve got an addictive personality and prone to efforts of escapism. That’s why I moved out here. It’s pretty, its quiet, and the cost of gas to get anywhere is enough to deter the acquisition of drugs. So did working with Whitehorse. Man’s a saint. Reminds me of my Grandpa Conner—don’t tell him I said that. He’ll think I mean old.”      • “I taught myself how to be a mechanic. Books and experience, and it all started when my old truck broke down when I was 16. Couldn’t afford a mechanic, so I got my grandpa and some tools and learned a lesson that day. Then I had to learn the rest. I still have that old truck. Musta rebuilt that motherfucker from the ground up three times. Only a few things left of the original. But I’m a sentimental fool, and it was a gift.”      • “Callie says an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Well, she didn’t say it but she quotes it a lot. But I’m thinking…maybe this time, we all just need to be blind. We need a reason to step back and reassess and neither side is gonna be the first to do it. So I’m skeptically hopeful of our win, but still down with the blind thing.”

Location Specific      • In the Henbane region: “Hey, if we could avoid bliss as often as possible…that would be great. Shit makes me feel like I dropped acid non-consensually.” / “Hmmm…there’s the tinglies in my spine again. Where is that little bitch of a plant? I’m gonna rip it apart.”      • In the Whitetails: “If we get a chance, I'd like to swing by my place. Make sure things are fine. Grab some tools. Get Reggie's ashes, since these fucks don't have respect for dead people, they definitely won’t have respect for dead pets.” / “Man, I miss hiking. Well I mean, technically we’re hiking right now. I mean I miss hiking without the sounds of an actual war. Birds and wind and shit. I miss that. But this is good exercise too.”      • Near any body of water: “Please say maybe this time we’re just out to fish. No? Worth a shot. One of these days.” / “This county has the best fishin’ spots in the world, but the best one’s require a hike and some camping gear to really enjoy.” / “If they hadn’t started dumping bliss in everything, I’d say let’s go for a quick swim. The water here is never as cold as you think it is.”      • Fall’s End: “Mary May runs a tight ship, but she can throw a hell of a party.” / “Pastor Jerome set me up with AA when I first moved to the county. He’s a damn good man, and a great listener.” / “As stupid as it is, I look forward to the Testy Festy every year. Love a good tradition. Sometimes you just need something to look forward to, you know?”

I’m going to tag @deathvalleyqueen​ because I’d like to learn more about your characters, but you may have been tagged before. ^^;;;

Thank you so so much! I don’t think I have many people I can tag that haven’t already been, but consider it an open tag if you see it on your dash. <3 

[nessamaurice]

Simple Ch. 1 (Loki x F!Reader)

Masterlist

Summary: Tony and the Avengers are in desperate need of something like a “babysitter” to have an eye on Loki and teach him “how to human”. He decided to stay on Midgard over the dungeons of Asgard as punishment for his deeds in New York. That’s where you swoop in. A simple receptionist at the Avengers compound. You have to share an apartment in the compound with Loki and damn, he’s a really tough nut. With your open and kind character it seems that you are slowly cracking his shell. But suddenly things are getting twists that will change your life and your relationships there irreversibly.

Story rating: M

Chapter trigger warnings: n/a

Words: 1984

1

"We need someone totally random." Tony broke the silence in the room. Every gaze was on him now. "Not someone with any special training, crazy gifts or hyper specialized knowledge."

"Why?" Steve simply asked.

"Your brother", Tony said turning to Thor and pointing at him, "has an enormous ego. If he has to stay here, we got to get him... let's say humbled. He will stay here in the compound. He is even willing to cooperate, so I guess we won't need shackles. At least not all the time. We just need someone reliable staying in the same room with him. Like, a babysitter. Someone simple, responsible from the neighbourhood who you would trust to look after your children because you know she'll just tuck them into bed asap and spend a nice evening watching Netflix or reading books while eating chips."

"You think it should be a woman?" Natasha mentioned.

"Did I say she? Ah yes, I did. Probably because when I think of next-door-babysitters I automatically think of girls. Women. Sorry." Tony immediately corrected himself as he noticed the raised eyebrow of Natasha.

"Couldn't it be that he would try to... I don't know... something like to trick a woman to do what he wants? Is he... um..." Bruce struggled to speak his mind.

"You mean like a seducer to women?" Thor assumed, followed by an amused little laugh. "No do not worry about that matter. I have known him my whole life and playing such games with women was never in his interest, even if it would have been useful to his plans. And I would say a woman would be best, he mostly behaves more controlled and civilized towards women in charge than to men."

"Alrighty then!" Tony clapped his hands to end this meeting that almost seemed like it would never end. With everybody feeling relieved to have come to a solution, the tension in the room ebbed away.

"Barton", Tony addressed to the agent in the corner of the room, "We need someone trustworthy. A woman. Someone staying away from drama. A at least somehow balanced one. And she will have to move to the compound for quite a while, so sort out every woman having responsibilities at home or such. The best would be someone who already works for me, check all our employees first, maybe we are lucky."

Clint simply nodded and left the room, but not without grabbing a big mug of coffee on the leave. Everyone headed to the door, but Thor caught Tony by grabbing his arm and stopping him. He waited a second until all the other Avengers were gone.

"Thank you, Stark. It is very generous and honorable of you and of Midgard to offer my errant brother a second chance after all what he did to your realm. There is clearly good in him. Buried under mischief and lies but somewhere it is. Maybe a simple person is all he needs to learn that 'simple' is nothing bad. It is hard for him to deal with his banishment from his home but it was his own choice and he preferred this over the dungeons of our palace. It took him quite a while to make this decision."

"Yeah. It's okay. No one likes to have a pissed-off brother being kept in the basement." Tony said, patting Thor on the shoulder while leaving the room.

***

With one hand you fumbled for your alarm clock to put in on snooze while hiding under the blanket. Sleep drunk you tried to get your brain working as a little wave of panic shot through you. Turning over to your clock you silently cursed into your pillow and pushed yourself up. You already wanted to get up 10 minutes ago but pressed snooze once too often. Again. You speeded up your morning routine a little to catch the lost minutes you sacrificed to Morpheus.

"This day's gonna be crap." You mumbled to yourself while entering the compound and shuffling over to the reception.

"Sweets, turn your bitch face off, you're at work."

The voice of your coworker Jackie (but you'd rather address her as your best friend than coworker) ripped you out of your thoughts.

"Hey Babe. Sorry." You gave her your poorest apology smile.

"Pressed snooze too often again, huh?" She tried to hold back a broad smile while you walked around the giant reception desk, heavy eye-rolling.

"Shut up. Tea's ready?"

"Do we know us since yesterday?" She pouty answered, handing you your favorite mug. You snatched it almost too energetically from her hand, inhaling the steam rising from it and closing your eyes.

"Aw, yeah. Much better." You put it on the desk and went to the back to hang your coat. Walking by you caught your own glance in the mirror, stopped and returned to it to check your appearance. You fixed some loose strands of hair and spotted your septum piercing. Cursing at yourself that you forgot to take it out once again you turned it up into your nose to hide it. If you'd take it out right now you would just lose it, like the other 4 piercings before. Pulling on the collar of your shirt and fiddling on your chocker necklace you quickly checked yourself over again and stepped outside to the reception desk. You were so lucky that you and your colleagues came to the glorious arrangement that you were in charge of the visit-reservation-referring-emails and wouldn't have to answer phone calls. Every time you heard the melodic ringing it sent a little jolt through your guts but were relieved the same moment, knowing that it was not your task to answer it. You never knew why phone calls put you in such a state but you didn't really bother to find out. You went to sit down on your office chair, totally focused on your steaming mug that stood there longing for your cold hands to get warmed up by its heat but stopped mid-motion and turned your head to the left. Your eyes wandered the spacious entrance hall. Since there were still 10 minutes before the Avengers compound opened up to visitors, press and business the only light was the natural dim dawn falling in through the huge window front. You almost jumped a little as the lighting was turned on, as always on time.

"Everything alright, Sweet Pea?" Your friend appeared from behind you, making you jump a little again.

"What? Oh yeah. Sorry. I thought there was something. Getting a little paranoid after a week of holiday at home." You laughed at her. As you finally sat down you couldn't resist to look over your shoulder again and search the enormous hall. It wasn't helpful that you had that feeling of being watched since almost 3 weeks now. At first you didn't take it very serious. Your workplace was permanently full of people and CCTV. But the feeling deep down in your stomach grew bigger each day. In the end you were so happy to eventually have a week all on your own. You spent it most of the time at home, doing all the things you wanted to do for a long time. You took some art classes in portraying persons, read 2 books, listened to music constantly, ordered too much stuff from Amazon because you had so much time browsing stuff you didn't need, even could get yourself to take some walks in the nearby park and enjoy the autumn colours. But, much to your dismay, that feeling of being followed by something or someone didn't cease. You spoke to your therapist at your monthly meeting about this last week. She said not to take it too serious but that you'll come back to that point next month.

You softly shook your head to get rid of the thoughts and put your bag on the floor beneath your desk with a loud thud. Jackie turned her head and looked at you, then at your bag.

"What the hell is in there? Thor's hammer?"

You tried to bat her hand away as she grabbed your bag and opened it. Her gaze rose in played shock to meet your eyes. She pulled a giant book out of it without interrupting her steady look at you. You couldn't help but blush, roll your eyes and laugh.

"Oh. My. God. Didn't they have a bigger book than this? Why are you dragging this monster with you to work?" She looked at the title and stuttered a little while reading it out loud, a little too loud since your other colleagues turned their heads, poorly hiding their smiles.

"Antiquitates Iudaicae" She looked at you again, one brow raised. "Seriously?"

You couldn't hold back your snort at that look on her face. Hectically you nabbed your stuff from her hands. "Shut up bitch, that's for my lunch break."

Unfortunately that explanation didn't help much to stop her amusement because now she helplessly had to cover her mouth while she laughed into her hands.

"Damn girl, you crazy."

"I know. You love that."

"Of course I do. Borrow me that book when you're through. And if I lost my sight by that time, you can read it to me when your granny glasses will be strong enough."

Smiling you turned to your computer and turned it on. It was about time, your small interruption cost you precious minutes to start your working routine before the doors opened to all the amazed visitors, screaming school groups and snoopy press people.

While waiting for your computer to come to live (which took quite longer than you'd expect when working for a technology genius), Jackie slapped your shoulder.

"Oh I totally forgot to fill you in on the latest gossip. When you were on holiday, a cute guy from accounting sat down next to me during lunch and asked where you are."

"Whaaaat? You're kidding."

"Nah-ah! He said he wanted to say hi to you after he saw you several times in the cafeteria and thought you would show up just a little later. He feared you may have just chucked your job after two more days without seeing you. I tell you, he has the bluest eyes I've ever seen. If I were unwed, I'd totally be jealous. I promised not to tell you. Ha ha. As if I would not tell you."

"Aw come on. Now I will never be able to relax during lunch time again." You batted her arm with the back of your hand.

"Oh Sweets, you're much too old to be nervous around men."

"Uhm, you know who you talking to, right?"

Her only answer was just a vicious smile as she turned to the already ringing phone.

The morning went on as usual. Tons of emails, greeting visitors and groups, handing forms over the counter, smiling, tea drinking.

Your stomach began to rumble just as your break was due. You checked yourself in the mirror again, this time a bit more precisely. As usual, you weren't too pleased with what you saw. Catching that thought, you very silently said to yourself "But I love myself anyway" just as your therapist taught you. You hoped that one day you'd eventually believe your own words, but somehow they helped you relax a bit, though. You stretched your back, grabbed your stuff and headed to the cafeteria. As you saw its entrance, you felt blood rushing to your cheeks and cursed yourself for blushing so easily. But before you could step through the door, someone stopped you by softly grabbing your arm.

You turned around to say something but no sound left your open mouth as you looked up into the face of Clint Barton.

"Miss Y/N, I'm sorry to stop you from getting your lunch, but Mr. Stark would like to speak to you."

[georgecrecy]

Charlie 4

"This is a fine pickle we're in now, bucko." James said as he rested on the ground against the side of a breathing, scaly mass behind him. The grizzled miner leaned against the belly of a massive, eight ton lizard-like beast that he had called compatriot and friend for several years, scratching at an almost perpetual five o'clock shadow on his chin. Charlie in turn was curled on the floor of the cargo hold, while the comparatively massive eyes looked guiltily past its snout toward James. "And all because you had to have a big romp through a public park. One'd think you'd been drunk again." Casting a sidelong glance towards the large head nearby James said, "You weren't, were ya? You didn't get into the Adroxan Ale again, right?" The only reply was a thump of the long tail that hit the metallic floor with a clang, along with a quick snort of hot air through the ribbed nostrils.

"Mhmm, sure you didn't. Don't mean I ain't gonna check their levels later." James chuckled lightly and patted the side of his scaly companion as he heard the beginnings of a slight whine forming in the vocal cords. "Agh, don't you be worryin' my ole friend, I ain't holdin' nothin' against ya. Bunch of uptight snobs anywho if'n y'ask me." His arm continued to brush against the large heaving side as he thought back to a week ago, when lawyers from the Southtech Corporation had brought a warrant of restraint and removal for Charlie because of destruction of company property at their park. Despite James’ protest, Charlie was led away by several wary members of animal control to be impounded. James immediately went with the lawyers to their headquarters, where he met a loathsome cretin - or as they called him VP of Operations. Seated at his desk as the group walked into the expansive office, he sprang lithely out of the chair to stand in front of an ornate and needlessly wide desk.

“Ah, the miner... James, is it? A pleasure.” He held out a hand which James didn’t deign to take. Rather than taking offense, the suited man smiled even wider with teeth that were too white as he put his hand back down. “I am Crassus Jaul, I understand there has been an unfortunate incident at our park including your….” Searching for the word for a moment, he snapped his fingers at one of the lawyers flanking James, a brief blaze of anger showing through the facade. The lawyer jumped and mumbled hurriedly, “A- a Tilluxian Dragon sir-” “A Tilluxian Dragon, yes.” Jaul interrupted officiously. “But naught to worry, once the Dragon is disposed of, you only need worry about the replacement costs, and then-” “Wait a goddamn minute, you’re gonna put down Charlie? Like he was some dirt beneath your shoe? He ain’t done nothin’ to deserve that!” To his credit, Jaul looked surprised at being interrupted, but he was better able to hide his anger this time. “Why, Mr. James, I’m afraid you forget what sort of pet you brought to our planet. You chose to bring a Hazard Class 1 species into a populated urban area, so be grateful you aren’t locked up as well for endangering the public.”

“Look mister, he ain’t no pet, he is a thinkin’ being who didn’t mean any serious harm to nobody, and he’s my friend. You ain’t gonna put ‘im down. Not on my watch. And, ain’t there somethin’ we can do? We’d be happy to pay ya back fer any of the minor damage he might’a caused.”

Jaul gave a calculating look at the miner before motioning to the other lawyer, who handed him a combi-pad. His manicured fingers perused through lists for a few minutes before saying, “I’m afraid it is more than minor damage. Several acres of lawn torn to shreds, an imported Japanese bridge from old Earth now on its side, its pylons needing repairs, this is a hefty sum that I doubt a man of your… station… would be able to afford.” His grey eyes brightened as if hit by a sudden thought, “However, we could come to some sort of arrangement. You have a good-sized freighter if I heard correctly? Then we might have a quick set of jobs that a man of your rough and tumble talent might be able to handle. My men will hand you all the information, and once done, you can return for your little… ahem - friend.”

James, however, was already shaking his head. “Oho no, that ain’t gonna pan out. Charlie ain’t a fan o’ bein’ caged. He’d do more damage to wherever they tried keepin’ ‘im than would be worthwhile. And I ain’t gonna let ‘im be mistreated like that. He’s comin’ with.” Jaul smile turned into a dower scowl, “We can hardly let you merely wander off never to return with your pet. But I suppose what you say might be true. In that case, we will be implanting a charge tracker.” James began to protest, but Jaul held up a hand, “No, Mr. James, I’m afraid that we at Southtech have to protect our investitures, a charge tracker will have to do. Let us say that it will add further… incentive to get back to us in good time with the tasks complete. Now, please follow these gentlemen who will give you the particulars. Goodbye now.”    

Waving them off without hardly a glance, Crassus Jaul wound his way back to his chair on the opposite side of the desk, while the lawyers none too gently escorted James out of the office. The last thing James saw as the doors shut behind him was Jaul dialing into a keypad to make a call.

From the end of the catwalk above, a control panel next to one of the doors which exited the massive cargo bay beeped insistently, which roused James from his thoughts. With a sigh and a groan, he hauled himself off the metal grating which comprised the floor, heading for the ladder leading up. Charlie’s large head rose with him and tracked his movements with cat-like grace despite the size.

"But we got a job to do now, much as we don't like it. They gotta whole bunch o' clout with the right folks, leavin' us little choice. And we gotta be there for each other." Clambering up the ladder, he punched the annoying alarm off before heading through the door towards the bridge. As he left the room, the Tilluxian Dragon snuffled mournfully and bent his head back over his monstrously taloned feet, its gaze snapping back to the door soulfully every few minutes, and scratching at a puffy incision mark behind its left ear.

“Please, you mustn't take it! What will we do when the winter comes? Our children and old will starve!” The tinny, croaking audio from the auto-translator did little to mitigate the urgency of the colony headman. James hung his head in defeat and frustration, and could only say in return, “I know, mister. I really wish it could be different.” Prior to setting down on the planet, he had poured over the documents trying to find some loophole that the Corporation’s own nitpicking accountants hadn’t already factored in, but he couldn’t find anything that would save them from their debt being collected upon.

The Yallarians had had the misfortune of a bad harvest after buying what seemed a foolproof farming package deal for their new colony from the Southtech Corporation. They were refugees to begin with, and they didn’t have any founding society to rely upon to back up their losses, so their only capital to bargain with was their future crop return, and they lost the roll. Now with nothing left to leverage, their one source of future food - the greenhouse network and it’s main processing computer, which the whole system relied upon - had been ripped out and placed on a hover dolly on its way to the hold of James’ freighter. The eyes of the headman looked desperately after the retreating computer core over James’ shoulder, but he ripped his eyes away from the agonizing sight as James continued, “You know, I got a few friends at a colony only a few jumps away, helped them with a problem a few years back, they might have some extra food for you to get through the winter with.”

The blubbery skin of the Yallarian shook side to side in their version of motioning no, the auto-translator again sounding tinny and light despite the gravity of the situation. “What would we pay them with? Even if we could pay them, what will we do at the end of the season? We have nothing left to bargain with, our colony is doomed. I do not know what will become of us.” James shook his head, “But you got yourselves, yer hard workers, I seen that in the reports.” The Yallarian’s eyestalks narrowed, and the other bystanders to the conversation all began to mutter fiercely among themselves. “You suggest we become enslaved? We left our planet because of such depravity, and are not intent on returning to it.” The miner held up his hands in what he hoped they understood to be a conciliatory gesture, “Us humans haven’t been to fond of it either, not for a few millenia now. I’m suggestin’ a mutual agreement between yourselves and them to help each other, given they accept, and I’m sure they might. They owe me big time. I only need ta get ‘em on the horn. Please Headman Ulla, I wanna help.” Through the frustration and defeat he had felt during his task, the idea had come across his mind as they were signing the paperwork. He wasn’t completely sure it would work with the interests of two colonies and their residents having to be considered on a single planet, but he had hope.

James could tell that Ulla was conflicted, as well as skeptical. First the miner had destroyed the future of their colony by repossessing their computer, and then in the same breath offered a possible salvation. The headman wasn’t sure if he wanted to attack him or hug him. The eyestalks cast about the faces of its fellow colonists, which returned his gaze with uncertainty and fear. In the distance, he watched as the strange man’s colossal friend played with the young in one of the fields, showing a gentleness and grace with them while they weaved through its legs despite the size. Finally, he made a decision.

“Call them.”

After what seemed to James as forever, he cast himself wearily onto the couch/bunk of his rather spartan crew space. A vessel even of this size was largely automated, which was what first drew him to it many years ago, given his preference to go solo at the time. It hadn’t been built with the expansive crew quarters of other comparable mining or hauling ships. Given his rather bachelor lifestyle, it was also bereft of more than basic decoration, except for two pic-files that were mounted in frames on a wall rack near the bed. One showed him from a few years ago, his grizzled frame nearly being ousted out of the shot by a massive and scaly snout with a row of dangerous teeth flashing out of the top and bottom lips, one of James’ arms curled around from underneath as he laughed. The other was a shot of a beautiful vista in twilight, and in the foreground were two figures silhouetted by the two suns they were gazing at together, one a small blue cat-like species that sat atop Charlie’s head. Both were bathed in the pink and aquamarine color that permeated the thin atmosphere.

He gazed at these reminiscently as his mind also battled the conundrum he was currently positioned with. The Yallarians were but one of several colonies he had been tasked with repo-ing something from over the last three weeks. Besides the computer core of the Yallarian colony, there had also been the entirety of a mining system from another colony of Vashas, a lab setup from a startup research firm, and the defense network from an outer rim planet that really didn’t want to give it up. Considering the amount of pirate activity in the area, he could understand why, but if the Southtech folks hadn’t also sent along the kill codes for the network, he was sure the negotiations would have been short for him indeed for the last one.

With every part of the job he had pored through the orders and the warrant information that showed the credit history of each, and all he could do was scratch his head. He was a miner, not an accountant, and while he knew his way around ore breakdown folios and asteroid surveys, he was lost elsewhere, and he didn’t risk sending the info to someone who did lest it cost him his friend if the company got wind. In frustration he hit his hand on the hard metal bulwark, and instantly regretted it, grunting from the brief stab of pain. From the cargo bay he felt the weight of the ship shift as a lizard-like muzzle poked as much as it could through the open door, its nostrils sniffing the air for trouble. Clutching his smarting hand, James got up to show his friend all was okay, and scratched the skin around Charlie’s nostril with his non-injured hand, which he knew he liked and would calm him down. From the door he watched as Charlie lifted his serpentine head and neck off of the metal catwalk, which groaned and creaked in protest from the weight now lifted off it. Once Charlie had settled back on the floor of the bay, James slowly turned and walked back through the compartment and past the bed which his body achingly called him back to.

Instead, he continued past and through another door which led to the bridge. Sitting down and ordering up another cup of coffee from the dispenser to his left, he picked up his combi-pad and scrolled through the mining returns of the Vasha colony again. He scrolled past lists of part requisition orders and breakdown logs to the return forms of all the ore they had sold. It seemed their system was a good investment if the surveys were anything to go by, but they still couldn’t put enough dough up to cover the expenses for some reason. There were a lot of breakdowns, but the company listed the majority as user error, and the Vasha were well known for being hard on equipment without caring much about maintenance, so he was left stumped.

The ding of his dispenser alerted him that his coffee was ready, and he gingerly sipped it as he gazed out the cockpit window. The many stars of the surrounding sector glistened and shot past like the fleeting thoughts in his mind. Despite being overjoyed at finally being done with this loathsome assignment, something was nagging at the back of his mind.      

Two hours later, their freighter jumped out of warp nearby the green and blue planet where all the trouble had begun. He had been cleared to land and with Charlie in tow made their way to the Southtech Corporation Building, a tall white edifice that contrasted against the dark clouds which had begun to darken the skies as they had descended, people gazing in awe or simply fast-walking by a different route once they saw the pair. Since Charlie could hardly fit through the front doors, they were instead ushered in via one of the supply docks to the side of the building. It was in the expansive warehouse section that they were met again by Crassus Jaul, flanked by several of the building security forces. He wore yet another expensive suit, his shoes clicking on the smooth quik-crete floor.

“Ah, my friend, you have returned! We have received all the shipments in good order, so we must congratulate you on a job well done. Surely it is men such as yourself that ensure all creditors are good to their word.”

James merely scowled in return. “Save it, Jaul. We’ve done your dirty work, now get that damn charge tracker out’a his neck and we’ll be on our way. Where’s the vet?”

Jaul pouted his lips in an almost mock expression of sorrow. “Ah, yes, about that arrangement of ours. I’m afraid our lawyers first glance at the law came a bit short. The charges are a bit more serious-”

James’ anger and frustration burst through the surface, “What!? What’re you talkin’ about, you bastard! We had a deal!” Charlie growled menacingly, and the guards immediately raised their rifles at the ready. Jaul quietly pulled out a small remote pad from a pocket in his jacket, and waved it suggestively in the air. James signaled to Charlie to calm down, but even with Charlie’s growls down to a low murmur, the room was tense. Jaul smiled sickeningly. “That’s better. Now, as I was saying, the charges against you and your mutt are more serious than we first realized. I’m afraid your services - while appreciated - was not enough for judges on the planet to look the other way considering. Not to mention that your little shenanigans with the Yallarians cost us a repeat client. So I am afraid the government will be taking possession of the subject and terminating it.”

James was dumbfounded. Barely keeping a bubbling fury in check, he said through clenched teeth, “How convenient. I looked into this world ya know, and your corporation owns this whole damn planet! You own the judges, you own the lackeys in the government, you practically write the damn laws! We done your laundry and you still gonna leave us dry? Why don’t you just write another new law, eh?”

Jaul barely tried to hide a crooked smile. “Why Mr. James, I haven’t the slightest clue what you are talking about. We live in quite the democratic society, and one which fines heavily for such slanderous and unsubstantiated talk, which we shall overlook considering the stress you are in at the moment. Now, we can do this quietly and it can be put down in a more civil manner tomorrow. Should you try to cause trouble, however, that charge tracker in its neck has enough explosive to send its head across the room, and you will get to clean up the mess in chains, after having been sentenced, of course.”

Inside his head he expected screaming, the sound of combi-blasters and roars, but instead it was only silence. He realized he was in shock. The only thing he could think to ask was, “Can... I say goodbye?”

Jaul shrugged unconcernedly. “Fine. Be quick. Make the thing stay quiet when it is taken if it is possible to keep such a beast in check.”

Not even bothering to look towards the loathsome prick, James shouldered past the guards and went straight for the huge head of his friend who had been with him for so long. Behind him, the guards looked surprised at each other. Most were uncomfortable being as close as they were now to such a stereotypically dangerous species, let alone go and hug the maw of one, bristling as it did with sharp teeth. James buried his face against the bridge of Charlie’s nose so Jaul and the others wouldn’t have the satisfaction to see the tears now glistening down his scrabbly cheeks. Doing his best to bite back the sobs which threatened to burst forth, James could barely put two words together to say, “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry bud. Now you gotta be quiet and nice okay, and… I’ll come see ya before… before.”

Jaul’s feet clicked impatiently on the floor. “That will be all Mr. James, the government needs to take possession of your beastie, and I’m sure there is some asteroid or godforsaken planet for you to crawl around on, or whatever it is you do. Guards, please escort them both out.”

Charlie could tell something was wrong, his human never acted like this. He was always so strong-willed, like a pup first learning how to hunt despite a lack of success. And now he felt wetness on his muzzle where the human’s not-muzzle was… also wet? He didn’t understand until he felt the rope being wrapped around his neck and flanks and begin to pull him away. He snapped at a few of them before he noticed his human sign for calm. He was confused, didn’t the human not want them to take Charlie? He obeyed, but he keened a cry of anguish low and long, as he had heard several times before on his home when his family grieved a still one. Charlie saw the human sign several more times the calm signal, more wetness cascading down the human’s not-muzzle.

James stood there and shook in silent sobs as Charlie reluctantly let the guards drag him into a different room, and as a door slid down to close, Charlie made sure to crane his neck down to follow the opening so as to not lose sight of James despite the ropes which bit at his neck. His bellowing rumbled through the large warehouse until the door sealed the sound away to a low rumble. The guards practically had to drag James as well back out the door. Once outside, however, one hesitated and looked backward briefly before sifting through his pockets and writing on a business card. Silently he handed James the card, which he discovered had a time and address scrawled on it. The guard quickly closed the door in his face as he looked at the paper in disbelief. He wanted to scream. He wanted to bash the walls down with his fists until he found his friend. Instead, after what seemed forever, he dazedly turned around and staggered out of the side alleyway. He stood there at the junction of the street and alleyway for a while before turning again and starting down the street with only one destination in mind.

After two information kiosks and several police officers accosting him for possible vagrancy, he looked up and realized he was at the address listed to where it was to take place. What greeted him was a solemn, dismal building that matched the unforgiving purpose that lied within. Dirty sandstone columns rose up to meet with ionic capitals, all of which supported the top of the triangular roof in the fashion of a Greek temple from old Earth. The pediment inside the triangle formed by the roof showed a large sculpture of galaxies and stars, which were intertwined with a scroll with the ancient Latin words listed in a flowing script, ‘fiat justitia ruat cælum,’ which a posted info tablet told him was translated as ‘Let justice be done though the heavens fall.’ Without comment, James sat down at a nearby bench to wait the many hours that were left, which to him didn’t seem to be enough.

By the next day, news had gotten around the city that a big and dangerous Tilluxian Dragon was set to be destroyed by the state, and many arrived as the hour drew near to see the spectacle. It was a brusk morning, and dew glinted off of the street lamps that lit the area, including one that hung over a lone bench that a haggard man with dirty orange overalls and a haunted, grizzly look on his face sat on. Bystanders would be hard put to tell whether the glistening water that sat on the end of his stubble was dew or tears. He sat staring at the words etched in the granite above without moving until an hour before when the doors were unlocked and opened. People in business attire and upscale clothing alike were allowed in, but when the guard at the door saw the miner in his dirty clothing come up, he was about to turn him away. James flashed the card he had been given, and after a quick check was allowed in, though the other people looked at him with disdain. He followed the flow of people which eventually led to a dimly lit audience hall, where several tiers of seats faced a curtained plas-steel window. James found a seat near the front, barely noticing the looks cast his way, or the fact that quite a bit of clearance was given him on either side by those afraid for the sake of their clothes being stained.

The murmuring in the hall came to a standstill as the lights dimmed further, but changed to an audible gasp as the curtains were mechanically drawn apart, revealing the lighted chamber beyond. Inside stood several solemn looking people in white doctoring robes as well as several armed guards, but everyone’s attention was drawn to what was restrained in the center.

His muzzle was clamped shut, and his legs had been forced into an uncomfortable lying position on the black and white tiled floor, many lengths of titanium cord three inches in diameter wrapped around the large body before bolting to the floor. The sheer size and a glance at the muscles tight with tension added an element of wonder that the comparably minuscule restraints seemed inadequate for the job, but they held. Charlie’s head had little leeway left to move, but he could glance up as the curtain opened to see the room outside, and a deep and rumbling howl echoed through the plas-steel and quaked inside the very bodies of the bystanders watching in awe. Charlie’s eyes cast about the room frantic and confused, before finding the eyes of James. When he saw him, he lashed about in place, unable to move enough to find purchase to get back to his friend, though trying with all his prodigious might. His head did not stop looking at James though, with a puzzled and frustrated expression, his keening now coming at a feverish pitch.

The doctors and guards were startled for a moment at the sudden movement before bursting into action, the guards standing ready with rods in hand as the doctors readied their gruesome concoction. A final somber figure entered the scene from the side and stood in front of the crowd, though keeping well away from the thrashing thing to his side. “Thank you all for coming today, as we witness the destruction of a member of the vilest and most perilous species that plagues our corner of the galaxy: a Tilluxian Dragon. We have it well restrained, I can assure you all, and in one minute, it will be put down, and from there taken to the Adrax Laboratory for study and dissection to further the cause of fighting these beasts.”

James barely comprehended the words the official said, he was having more trouble ensuring that he kept to his seat instead of bursting towards the glass because he knew that even if he spent all the fury welling inside of him, the glass would barely show a scratch, and he would only make matters worse. He rocked imperceptibly back and forth as the last minute he had with his companion of several years ticked down, wishing he had the chance to hug his enormous side, or sit with him one more time in the familiar space of his freighter’s cargo hold, the memories of many adventures flashing with lightning speed through his mind.  

The doctors inserted several large needles into Charlie’s side, each connected to a different container of fluid. The official watched a clock inset onto the wall in the tiled room as Charlie stopped thrashing, his energy spent. Instead, he called out to James again and again with pitiful bleats, confused and feeling abandoned. Why didn’t his human come to his call? What kept him in place? What was going on? Finally, the official motioned towards the lead doctor, who nodded and switched the pumping mechanism on. First one fluid, then another, and then the last began to pump into Charlie’s veins, and his bleating and keening finally quieted down after several agonizing minutes, the large eyelids slowly closing over the yellow eyes. A heart monitor sat nearby which beeped with a constant, but slowing rhythm until at last, it held a continuous flat line. The official nodded again, and the curtain drew closed.

The audience chamber was awash with light again, and the burbling of chatter from the many excited people dwindled away as the room emptied out, leaving a solitary orange-clad figure sitting where he had since the beginning of the macabre event. Ever so slowly, he stood, and finally exited the room to head to a lonesome ship on a landing pad on the other side of the city. Outside, the clouds still clung dark and brooding, brushing the tops of some of the spires of buildings. Where the quiet of a single-crewed ship had once been exciting and preferable to James when he first bought it, it now seemed unbearably lonely and bleak.

Behind the curtain, shortly after it had closed, Crassus Jaul entered the room, and with a wave sent the official and most of the other staff packing, which was just as preferable to them. The lead doctor stayed per the plan, but he still nervously shifted from foot to foot. Jaul tenderly felt the now stilled side of the monstrous body before him, feeling his hand slide over layers of scale and the muscle underlying it, now lacking the tension it had had before. The doctor coughed anxiously which Jaul annoyedly acknowledged with another wave of his hand as one would do to swat away a fly. “I know.” After several more minutes of gazing, Jaul motioned the doctor to continue, and he swept into action. Inserting a large syringe into the closest vein he could discern, he wiped the sweat off his brow as Jaul stood like a hawk at a distance, surveying his work. The doctor deployed the antitoxin and after several minutes gasped in relief when the heart monitor bleeped back to a slow and steady pulse. The sides of the Dragon began to lift up and down as a regular breathing rhythm accompanied the bleep of the monitor like the lashing of waves on the shore. Jaul clapped the doctor on the shoulders who had been watching the readouts from his machines carefully, making the nervous man jump. “Relax, my friend, you have done well! I was sure your expert hands could perform this little miracle of ours. Now, you can expect remuneration shortly in your account, and we needn’t have to worry about the welfare of your wife and children if this stays between us. Understand?”

The doctor’s eyes grew wide in fear, and without speaking nodded emphatically before ducking out of the room. Jaul then turned his eyes back to his new prize and smiled fiendishly in self-satisfaction. “Now, my pretty thing, you are much more profitable to me alive. My friend will be paying a pretty penny for your smelly hide. I’ve made sure of it.”

Read the other parts of the series!

Part 1: https://georgecrecy.tumblr.com/post/183762132696/charlie-1

Part 2: https://georgecrecy.tumblr.com/post/183787102041/charlie-2

Part 3: https://georgecrecy.tumblr.com/post/183794906326/charlie-3

Part 5: https://georgecrecy.tumblr.com/post/183818824461/charlie-5

Part 6: https://georgecrecy.tumblr.com/post/183819131196/charlie-6

Part 7: https://georgecrecy.tumblr.com/post/183819391261/charlie-7

[sunsetinmyvein]

Just Off the Key of Reason - Chapter Twenty One - I Could Be Him

Monday, 9th of July, 2007 – Kansas City, Missouri

As Patrick had expected, he was awoken the following morning by the sounds of someone violently throwing up in his hotel bathroom. It was still fairly early, only the slightest hints of light were filtering in from the balcony window. They had a show today, that much he remembered. The rest was taking its sweet time to return to his memory. His brain took a few moments to recall the events of last night as he rose to his feet, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. She had woken him up a few times throughout their sleep, tossing and turning and muttering about ‘something important’, though she’d never remembered exactly what that was. He listened carefully at the door, knocking lightly on it.  

“You all right?” He called, his hand hovering above the handle in hesitation. When he didn’t get a reply he pushed the – thankfully unlocked – door open. She was slumped across the toilet seat, her arms either side of her head, her face mostly obscured by her hair. His instant reaction was to pull her hair back from the danger zone, quickly grabbing it into a messy ponytail and tucking it into the collar of her shirt so that it wouldn’t fall forward again. She looked up at him at the contact.

“Hey, Pat.” She mumbled, having to squint at him in the darkness of the bathroom.

“Hey. How’re you doing?” He asked, the concern evident in his voice.

“Fantastic.” She answered sarcastically. He let out a snort of laughter as he grabbed the plastic cup by the sink, filling it with water and handing it to her.

“Here. Might help.” She took it gratefully, but drank it far too quick. The instant impact on her throat only caused her to lose what little remained in the contents of her stomach.

 Patrick stayed in the dark bathroom, handing her glasses of water and offering soothing touches when required. After about half an hour it seemed that the nausea had mostly passed. “So, did you remember what that super important thing was that made you barge in here at two in the morning?” He asked casually as he grabbed a cloth and ran it under cold water.

“Important thing?” She asked in confusion, frowning.

He handed the damp cloth to her. “You said you’d come to a decision about something, but never said what.” He shrugged. She stared up at him as she ran through last night in her head. It came back bit by bit, and eventually she found a furious blush spreading across her cheeks. She was suddenly incredibly thankful that he hadn’t turned the light on yet.

“No.” She lied, wiping her face down with the cloth as an excuse not to have to meet his gaze.

He let out a huff of air. “Oh well.” He sighed. “At least it was my room you stumbled into, not anyone else’s.” He laughed.

 “I’m gonna get ready. We’ve got a show tonight. Give me a shout if you need me.” She watched him as he straightened a few items on the counter before he left the bathroom. When she was sure he wasn’t coming back in for a while, she let out the breath she had been holding. She rested her forehead on the cool porcelain below her and let out a low groan. Half out of pain from her hangover, half out of frustration. Truthfully, she remembered perfectly well why she had seen it fit to burst into his hotel room after binge drinking with Pete. And stumbling into his room had been no accident after he’d mentioned his room number to her earlier that day when they were given their keys. At the time, she had thought it would be an excellent idea to ask him on a date for when they were back in Chicago. In hindsight, doing that while she was drunk was probably not the best idea. Patrick deserved better than that. But her current state wasn’t really any better either. With her head in his toilet bowl and him bring forced to take care of her, it hardly seemed like the time or place to admit that. She would have to wait.

 Saturday, 14th of July, 2007 - Chicago, Illinois

The only issue with the plan of waiting was that they barely saw each other that day due to show preparations. That night they all wanted sleep for their drive home. Then the next day when they were travelling back to Chicago, a cramped tour bus and three eavesdropping pairs of ears hardly seemed the time to have a heart to heart conversation. The day after that was their last show, their big home town finale. Set up and sound check took up the majority of their time. The show lead on to a welcome home party, which lead to a couple of days of post-party recovery and catch-ups with people they hadn’t seen in months, which lead to it having been six days since she said she would say something and she still hadn’t. She was starting to think that maybe she should have just told him while she was halfway through vomiting into his hotel room toilet; at least they had some time to themselves then. Pete was also starting to get on her case about having not asked him yet after saying she would. The only benefit of being forced to wait this long before she could follow through was that it allowed her enough time to think of a good way to do it. She had decided that inviting Patrick out for a dinner might be a nice setting to ease the mood and offer them both some time to relax after the chaos of the week. The table was booked and ready to go at a decent restaurant downtown; she had already prepared what she wanted to say. Though, she hadn’t counted on Patrick bringing the whole band along with him. That threw a spanner in the works.

 Patrick had already convinced himself that this was goodbye, both to him and the band. As soon as she’d invited them out to a formal dinner, it set off the alarm bells in his head. He had already worked himself up so much in his head over the fact that nothing had happened since he kissed her that he was utterly convinced this was her bringing them out to dinner to tell them that she’d gotten a new job. Or was moving to a new town. A new state. A new country. Somewhere that he wasn’t. But regardless of the fact that he was absolutely sweating through his jacket with nerves, he played it cool and acted like everything was okay. When he rocked up and found her sitting at a table for two, that threw him for a loop. In the space it took him to walk from the door of the restaurant to the table he had talked himself into the fact that she was breaking up with him. Breaking up with him before anything had even started. His other three band members took the table across from them while he sat down across from her, an anxious smile playing on his lips. They hadn’t had much time to properly talk since they’d gotten home. Mostly just exchanging superficial conversation topics and saying they needed to hang out.

 The silence at their table was deafening. They’d both spent a bit on their phones at the start, trying to fill the space between them with distractions until their food arrived. Patrick didn’t want to say anything for fear of fucking it up even more. She didn’t want to say anything for fear of the words coming out wrong. Eventually, they both decided it was best to at least say something.

“I’ve got something I want-”

“Look, I think we need to-”

They both stared at each other wide eyed for a moment. “Uh, y-you go.” He said with an encouraging nod. He could already feel his palms getting clammy and his heart beating a mile a minute.  

“No, no. Say what you were going to say first.” She said as her eyes flicked down to the table, a blush found its way onto her cheeks.

“Well, um… me and Andy were talking, and… And you should know that if you wanted to pursue stuff other than the band, that’s cool. I’ll be your friend no matter what you do, where you go, I’m still gonna be here. Or not be here, if – if you’d prefer that.” The words were tumbling out of his mouth quicker than he would’ve liked them to, but at least they were out there now. “I know that leaving has been a worry of yours, so I just wanted you to know that it’s, uh, it’s okay.” He nodded sharply to himself as he finished the sentence, feeling better for having said his piece.

 She stared at him in bewilderment. That was definitely not the turn she had expected the conversation to take after him being persistent for her attention for nearly two weeks now. “Oh… That’s…” She cleared her throat, trying to regain her composure for what she had wanted to say “Very kind of you to say, Patrick.”

He shrugged slightly, choosing to fiddle with his fork rather than look back at her. “What was it that you were going to say?”

“Well, actually the opposite of that.” She said with a laugh. “I was actually thinking that my job might be fairly secure.”

He glanced up at her, finding himself confused by the smile that he was met with. “What?” He frowned.

“I was hired to make sure that the band didn’t cost the label more than they needed to, and to make sure that you all behave and don’t get yourselves into trouble. Right?” She continued, taking his hand in hers. His eyes flicked from their hands, back to her, nodding slightly as he tried to follow.

 “Have you learned anything, Pete?” She asked loudly, not tearing her eyes away from Patrick’s.

Pete knew that this was his cue. As soon as she had texted him when they all sat down, he knew that this was what she had been talking about. The shit-eating grin on his face threatened to split it in two as he bundled up the fabric in front of him. “No!” He shouted back as he ripped the table cloth out from under all of their plates. Unlike some skilled people who might be able to do this without causing any damage, Pete’s actions instantly brought all of their plates, cutlery, food, glasses, everything clattering down to the ground. Many loud shouts could be heard from the servers, kitchen staff and also Pete’s frustrated bandmates whose dinner was now spread across the floor. Patrick jumped at the noise of the stunt, staring at the mess in surprise. The restaurant fell into an uncomfortable silence as someone begrudgingly came over with a dustpan and brush. The grin never left Pete’s face.

“I – I don’t-” Patrick started.

“I guess someone is gonna have to hang around to keep him in check. Probably stay on tour with you guys.” She mused, unable to stop the smile spreading across her face.

 Patrick’s brain had all together stopped working. He was so prepared for the fact that this was goodbye that this conversation going in the complete opposite direction just broke him. He felt like he might as well be one of those glasses on the floor right now, shattered into a million pieces and being thrown into the bin. Thankfully, this did not deter her from continuing what she had wanted to say. “I already spoke to the label, they’re happy to keep me on if I’m happy to stay. Said it was good to have the inside word on what you guys were up to and someone to run information through. And Pete’s said that even if something happens down the track we could probably swing something to help me stay. So I guess you’re stuck with me.” She finished. Those last few words were enough for Patrick to remember how to function as he all but leapt across the table to kiss her. A few pieces of cutlery and his wine glass tumbled to the floor in his hasty actions, but he couldn’t hear anything else over her words replaying in his mind. The kiss didn’t last long as Patrick found himself grinning far too much to actually kiss properly.

“I would love absolutely nothing more than to be stuck with you.” He laughed.

She beamed back at him. “Did you wanna maybe go on an official date? Next week sometime?” She asked. The hollering sounds of approval that came from the table across from them were nearly enough to deafen Patrick, though it didn’t stop him from nodding eagerly.  Between the noise and the destruction, the restaurant had well and truly had enough. They grabbed the two offending tables, forcibly removing them from the restaurant. But nothing could dampen the mood of the now happy couple who left hand in hand.

A/N - Annnnndddd, that's it!

Thanks so much to everyone who's read this. It's been a hell of an experience for me to write it, and I'm really glad that I could get it to (what I think is) completion. Special thanks to those of you who read it week to week, because in the end I was writing week to week as well :P If you've got any questions, feel free to shoot them my way. But that's it for Key of Reason and that's it for the regular updates because I'm officially out of regular ideas. I hope you guys all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed creating it. :D

[swanqueeneverafter]

40. Shattered Illusions, Pt.5

Enchanted Forest. Past. Demon's Bluff. (The Dark One paces, holding up the gauntlet.) Rumplestiltskin: “I have what you want, dearie. Now show yourself.” Belle: (Having been shoved out into the clearing:) “Rumple! Ow! Help!” Maleficent: “Yes, Rumplestiltskin. Do help her.” (Maleficent appears from behind Belle.) Rumplestiltskin: “Maleficent. Oh, I am impressed. Didn't think you had it in you.” Maleficent: “I'm not here for your praise. Give me the gauntlet and you can have your wench back.” Rumplestiltskin: “Seeing as how you asked so nicely... (Rumplestiltskin strangles Maleficent with his powers, suspending her in mid air:) You think you can steal from the Dark One and live? Fatal mistake, dearie! Any last words?” Maleficent: “I'm... Not... Alone.” (Maleficent laughs as tentacles begin to squeeze the life out of Belle.) Rumplestiltskin: “The Sea Witch.” Ursula: (Walking into view:) “Such a pretty thing. Seems a shame I'll have to crack her pipes.” Rumplestiltskin: “Harm one hair on her head, Maleficent burns.” Cruella: (Emerging from her hiding place:) “And Ursula will kill your maid, and where will that leave us?” Rumplestiltskin: “Cruella! Thought I caught a whiff of desperation and gin. I must say, I'm... I'm surprised to see you all here. Last time we crossed, it looked like things weren't going your way. And unless you hand back my maid, they won't be this time, either.” Cruella: “Shall I get you a step stool so you can look in my eyes when you threaten me?” Rumplestiltskin: “I don't need to threaten you, dearie. It took three of you to get this far, and I promise it isn't far enough.” Cruella: “Have it your way. Ursula, darling, crush the maid's heart.” (Ursula begins to squeeze anew as the Dark One struggles with his decision. With a roar of frustration, Rumplestiltskin gives Cruella the gauntlet.) Rumpelstiltskin: “That was, uh, a rather risky endeavour for an old glove, dearies.” Ursula: “Oh, the risk was worth it. For too long we've lived in a world where the heroes always win.” Cruella: “Now the gauntlet will reveal our enemies' weaknesses, and we will be the victors.” Maleficent: “Let her go.” (Ursula releases Belle, causing her to fall into Rumplestiltskin‘s arms as Maleficent uses her powers to make the Queens of Darkness disappear.)

Belle: Why... Why would you do that? I... I... I mean, with that object...” Rumplestiltskin: “They still won't be able to harm you.” Belle: “Why do you care about me?” Rumplestiltskin: (Hesitates then pushes her away:) “I don't. But if anyone's gonna crush your heart, it's gonna be me.” Storybrooke. Present. The Clock Tower. Mr. Gold: “When the stars on the hat align with those in the sky, we shall begin.” Hook: “You mean I shall end. Let's not start mincing our words now.” Mr. Gold: “Oh, how brave. I half expected you to crumble at the precipice of your demise.” Hook: “I'm not the one who's a coward.” Mr. Gold: “Well, then, you'll enjoy watching this coward crush your heart.” At The Mansion. (Henry, Emma, The Charmings and the Arendelle gang arrive at the mansion.) Henry: “This place is amazing. Mom, I'll, uh, be right back.” (Henry starts to leave to explore the mansion.) Emma: “Hey, kid, wait.” (Mary Margaret follows and sees the door.) Mary Margaret: “Well, Emma, I think this is it.” Anna: “Crocuses! Arendelle crocuses! Elsa, we're almost home.” Emma: “Wait, maybe I should open it. Magic can be unpredictable.” Elsa: “So this is it.” Emma: “Appears so.” Anna: “Thank you for taking such good care of my sister.” Emma: “It's kind of what we do.” Mary Margaret: “It's our pleasure. Now, don't you all have a kingdom to go save?” Anna: “We sure do. I hope Hans isn't too comfortable on that throne 'cause I'm gonna knock him right off the minute we get back.” Kristoff: “And the second minute we're back, maybe we could get married? Just a thought.” Elsa: “Emma, thank you for everything. You've done so much. I could never repay you. (Elsa hugs Emma:) I hope Regina knows that-” Emma: “She knows. (They stand facing each other:) But let’s just say its a good thing you’re leaving.” Elsa: (Smiles knowingly, nodding:) “It's time. Please, thank Hook and Mr. Gold for us, as well.” Mary Margaret: “Good luck.” (Emma opens the door. Elsa and Kristoff go through the portal but Anna stops.)  Anna: “I wish I had met this Mr. Gold. He seems super helpful. Who is he? I mean, who is he in the other world? Wait, let me guess. He was a fairy godfather, wasn't he?” David: “Well, not exactly. He was an evil sorcerer you're lucky you never met. Rumplestiltskin.” Anna: “Wait, what?” Emma: “You know him? He explicitly said he didn't know anything about you.” Anna: “Well, that's a lie. Not that I'm surprised. All he does is lie.” Emma: “So Gold was playing us the whole time. But why?”

The Clock Tower (Mr. Gold starts the spell that will release him from the dagger.) Mr. Gold: “It's time.” (Emma and Mary Margaret arrive.) Emma: “Gold! Stop!” Mr. Gold: “I'm sorry. I can't. I've waited too long for this. And I'm too close. (He freezes Emma and Mary Margaret:) Well, maybe not everything has gone to plan. But this next part... I'm really gonna enjoy.” (Mr. Gold begins crushing Hook's heart.) Hook: “Aah!” Mr. Gold: (His hand opens:) “I don't understand. Why can't I...” Belle: (Standing behind him, holding the dagger:) “Because I commanded you not to. Drop the heart. (Gold does and Hook catches it:) Now release everyone. (Gold waves his hand and releases Emma and Mary Margaret as the Sorcerer’s hat returns to its box:) And now? Now you can take us to the town line because we need to be alone for what comes next.” (Gold transports himself and Belle to the town line.)

The Town Line. Mr. Gold: “Belle, what are you doing?” Belle: “Finally facing the truth.” Mr. Gold: “No, please put the dagger down and let me explain.” Belle: “No! It's my turn to talk. Do you remember the first time you saved my life? You traded for me. I thought I... I saw something in you, something good. Well, I found that gauntlet today. And that's when I... I finally realized that all the signs I'd been seeing were correct. You'd never give up power for me, Rumple. You never have. You never will.” Mr. Gold: “Y... Y... you don't understand.” Belle: “No. You told me that gauntlet could lead you to... to someone's weakness, to the thing they loved the most. Well, you know where it led me, Rumple? To the real dagger. Your true love is your power.” Mr. Gold: “I like the power. But there's nothing wrong with power, not when it means that... That I... That we... That we can have it all.” Belle: “I just wanted you. I wanted to be chosen... I tried to be everything for you, Rumple. But I wasn't. And I... I lost my way trying to help you find yourself. Not anymore.” Mr. Gold: “Please, Belle. I... I... I'll make it up to you. I... I... I've changed once before. I can do it again.” Belle: “You've never changed.” Mr. Gold: “Please.” Belle: “No! It's too late. Once I... I saw the man behind the beast. Now there's only a beast. Rumplestiltskin, I command you... To leave Storybrooke.” Mr. Gold: “Belle, no. Please. I won't be able to come back.” Belle: “I know.” Mr. Gold: “I... I... I don't want to lose you.” Belle: “You already have.” Mr. Gold: “Belle, please. I'm afraid. (Belle turns her back as Gold steps backwards over the town line. Now alone and powerless:) Belle! Belle! No! Belle! Belle, please!” Arendelle. At The Castle. (Elsa gazes at a painting of the three sisters.) Anna: “Isn't it beautiful? I found it hidden in the east wing. (Elsa turns to see Anna in her wedding dress:) What? Is it my hair? You're right. I should have worn the braids.” Elsa: “Anna, you look absolutely perfect.” Anna: “I wouldn't say perfect. (Putting her gloves on:) Did you see these bruises?” Elsa: “Have you seen Hans' eye?” Anna: “Yeah. Totally worth it. Okay. Let's get this wedding on the road. I mean ‘on the aisle.’” Elsa: “Anna, why did you do it? Why did you postpone your whole wedding just to find out the truth?” Anna: “Elsa. You're my sister. I couldn't walk down this aisle unless you were as happy as I was.” Elsa: “Anna, I'm... Very happy.” (They hug.) Anna: “What is that amazing smell?” Anna & Elsa: “Chocolate!” Elsa: “You ready?” Anna: “Ready.” (The sisters walk towards Anna’s wedding, hand in hand.) Storybrooke. Granny's Diner. (Emma holds Hook’s heart in her hands.) Hook: “Just be gent... (Emma slams the heart back into his chest:) Ohh!” Emma: “Sorry. I just thought if I did it quickly, it'd be like ripping off a...” Hook: (Wincing:) “Works for me.” Emma: (Pats him on the shoulder:) “Glad I could help.”

(Emma joins a dour looking Regina at the counter.) Regina: (Sighs:) “I'm not in the mood for a hope speech, Emma.” Emma: “You're mistaking me for my mother. Besides, we’re celebrating. Shots?” Regina: “I don’t feel like celebrating but, sure, why not?” Emma: (Orders:) “Two. I don’t know what you’re so down about. Elsa and Anna are back home and you reunited Robin and Marian.” Regina: “There it is... A hope speech. I thought we were drinking.” Emma: “It's not a speech. It's a compliment. Cmon ‘Gina, tell me what’s bothering you?” Regina: (Shakes her head:) “He believed he could have it all, that he could out outmaneuver his fate.” Emma: “Gold? He brought it on himself.” Regina: “And I haven’t?” Emma: “You have changed. Gold never gave up his goal of ultimate power and it cost him everything.” Regina: “Or is it that villains just don’t get happy endings?” Emma: “Again with the storybook? Regina, we make our own destiny, I’ve always believed that.” Regina: “Says the woman who went back in time.” Emma: “Yes, and because I did, I saw the Evil Queen first hand. (Puts her hand on Regina’s:) Listen to me. I know exactly who you were and I know who you are now. There is nothing that will come between us, I promise. (They clink glasses and down the shots:) Especially now that Robin’s gone.” Regina: “What? (As Emma looks away:) I thought you didn’t believe in the storybook?” Emma: “I don’t. But it sure sounded like Robin did and if he’d stayed in Storybrooke, he might have tried to make what happened on that page a reality.” Regina: (Reassuringly:) “That would never happen.” Emma: “No, because I would’ve shot him. (At Regina’s look:) What? You’re not the only one who gets jealous.” (Regina smiles as Henry runs into the Diner.) Emma: “Whoa, kid. Slow down.” Henry: (Out of breath:) “Mom! Mom! I found something big! You're gonna want to see this.”

At The Abandoned Mansion. (Leading his mothers through the halls.) Henry: “After you guys left, I stayed behind to look around, and I found something.” (As they reach the end of the hallway, Henry pulls on a sconce which opens a secret door.) The Library. (The trio enter the room.) Regina: “A library!” Henry: “Not just any library. Look.” (Henry pulls a book off a shelf.) Emma: “That looks like your book.” Henry: “Only it's blank. They all are. (Regina takes it and flicks through the blank pages:) And if this place is full of potential Storybooks...” Regina: “Then maybe this is the Author's house. Henry, you did it!” (Regina hugs her son, overjoyed.) Emma: “Wait a minute, this whole storybook thing, the Author, it’s actually real?” Regina: “Well, I’d say this place is definitely a positive indication of that. And if he exists then maybe he can give me... give us all a fresh start?” Henry: “We called it Operation Mongoose.” Emma: “I like it. It's got style. I'm in.” Regina: “You are?” Emma: “Hey, I may not have liked the idea of some guy being responsible for what happens in our lives because of what’s written in some book. But seeing this place and knowing that you guys believe then, that’s all I need. (To Regina:) I made you a promise I intend to keep. Everyone deserves their happy ending.” (Regina smiles, touched by her words.)

The Land Without Magic. New York. Six Weeks Later. (Mr. Gold steps off a bus looking the worst for wear and walks the streets of  New York.) Enchanted Forest. Past. Demon's Bluff. (The Queens of Darkness stand before the Dark One.) Rumpelstiltskin: “There may come a day when the students surpass the master. But today is not that day. I want my gauntlet.” Maleficent: “We made a deal, Rumple, and you never go back on a deal.” Rumpelstiltskin: “No. I paid a ransom. Quite different. Demanding a ransom from the Dark One is not a deal. It's a death wish... And (Takes the gauntlet from them:) a fool's errand. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have work to do.” Cruella: “Whatever you're up to, it'll never work. The game is rigged. The villains never win.” Ursula: “Why don't you join us? Perhaps we can change the game together.” Rumpelstiltskin: “You severely underestimate me, dearie. I always win. And I win alone. I certainly don't need to join you, uh, Queens of Darkness.” The Land Without Magic. Present. New York. (Mr. Gold enters an aquarium to find Ursula working there.) Ursula: (Talking to the fish in the tank:) “It's all I got. If you're not happy about it, try eating each other.” Mr. Gold: “I hear cannibalism is frowned upon in the aquatic world. Or maybe you could tell me differently.” Ursula: “So, this is what a man who always wins looks like.” Mr. Gold: “I assure you, Ursula, my situation is only temporary.” Ursula: “Really? How you gonna fix that, play the lotto?” Mr. Gold: “I'd like to tell you a story. It's about heroes and villains, where the villains always lose.” Ursula: “Seems like someone's changed his tune.” Mr. Gold: “I've learned the rules do apply to me, but also there's someone who can change those rules.” Ursula: “Who?” Mr. Gold: “For now, let's call him ‘The Author.’” Ursula: “Pretentious. I hate him already.” Mr. Gold: “Then let's go see him. Tell him what we think. Unless you prefer life as a fish-food dispenser.” Ursula: “But if you're coming to me for help, I can assume it won't be easy. Who's standing in our way?” Mr. Gold: “The usual people... The heroes. Let's get your things. We've two more stops to make.”

The End.

[amuelle]

The business of falling in love...

How dating in your 30s is a business.

5:30 for 6

After maneuvering my regularly scheduled programming, which meant taking a shower and putting on clothes. I was ready. Ideally our ETA was supposed to coordinate such that he arrived before I did so he could finesse me, show off his prowess with the menu and leave me impressed. Alas impatient me couldn’t wait. Doused in perfume and warmly dressed I got there early and sat for no more than two minutes before he arrived.

As he approached the table I thought well isn’t he just the most handsome Sasquatch ever. I was on a DATE!!! It was all gas, no breaks. The vulnerable conversations had that night could fill a salacious memoir of two adults on the horizon of leaving their youth behind. I’ve used the word magical to describe other encounters but this wasn’t magical. It was the effortless connection of two people who were ready to be their best.

Three hours passed in the blink of an eye and now the dinner date was evolving. Perhaps a drink before we actually head home? I had been prepared for the bill to come and an awkward conversation about how much or how little it was. In anticipation of this, when he asked for it I pulled my handbag closer. Just in case it went pear shaped and chivalry was really dead. He looked at me, said something and in the brief moment my head was cocked back in laughter, the bill was paid, the uber called and we were on our way to the next destination.

In your teens you date for….whatever you date for in your teens. In your twenties, convinced you are grown you start looking for an ideal that doesn’t exist and you learn life's cruel lessons. In your thirties it’s a completely different game, played on a different turf, in a different universe. By the time you are in your thirties you have already been through the blender. You’ve spent money you shouldn’t have trying to impress someone. You've made large contributions to another person’s lifestyle, stayed when you should have left, negotiated when you should have given an ultimatum, you have already, already, already, already done a lot. Whether it jaded you or not it informs your decisions especially when it comes to money

In this case, I could have pretended the R100 uber was too much and asked him to uber me. He could have read the bill out loud to clearly indicate that we had to split it. BUT! We were still pretending, it was a first date after all. Now at the second location reminding myself of my youth having a double vodka and lime. My mind started to swirl around the thought. “How does money impact a relationship in your 30s?”

Through budgeting, perseverance and sacrifice I have created for myself a particularly comfortable life. I afford myself and since I have been with someone who didn’t have the same means and made me feel bad about it, I know that life is not for me. Financial stability has become non-negotiable. Dating someone should never result in regression. This is where the difficulty lies.

The Sasquatch has also created an incredibly comfortable life for himself. I have learnt that if he suggests an outing he is also obligating himself financially to an extent. But after buying my own bottles for so long, how do I accept that perhaps the rules have changed? That it could be he has the money to date me but dating me shouldn’t be me pretending not to be gainfully employed enough to have the tastes I have? I am no longer engaging with someone who doesn’t have the means. Does that make me powerless? Should I turn into a succubus? What is an independent woman of the world to do????!

Falling in love in your 30s is a business. The truth is we are no longer start-ups trying to break even and find our position in the market. Some businesses have failed, others are struggling. In this case we are now two fortune five hundred companies on the cusp of merger. The merger poses potential gains for both parties, however it has implications. Layoffs, optimizing, sharing of costs and in this scenario transparency. Forget the hoe files! You can get past a person’s hoe files. They had to rip and run the streets to become the interesting, colourful person you are attracted to. Just like in business, mistakes are made, risks taken and not all of them pan out. That said, who wants to merge a well-oiled machine with a business struggling to get off the ground. If your aim is to develop the business or swallow it whole for your own selfish gain then that makes sense. However, unless you believe in that business then having the faith to grow it is difficult. It's almost down and out, non-compliant and struggling! Can your brand survive being associated with such?

I spoke to Mr Fix It finance, The Sasquatch, My muse and the Finance Lady. It all comes down to this, relationships cannot thrive when we don’t talk about money. If we don’t talk about where we are financially, our goals, obligations, debt and ambitions. It’s a recipe for disaster. My Muse reiterated this and added that when you aren’t dating for marriage or long term partnership the last thing to do is compromise yourself financially. The Finance Lady added that because people are so different it’s hard to say what is important to whom, where and how. Most women don’t want to hold a man down financially because the fear is “once he get on he’ll leave your ass for a white girl.”

Where does that leave me now? What about the business of falling in love? What’s to be said for reciprocity? Even though I do want him to spend on me I don’t want him to feel like my hands are folded and I’m waiting on him. I also want him to remember I was a whole functioning adult before he came along. The process of wooing me shouldn’t be a painful exercise. After mulling it over for a few days I came to a few conclusions. First, I’m jumping ten steps ahead. There has been no solid commitment made and yet here I am dissecting a first date like it will inform the rest of my life. Second, thinking about it isn’t a bad thing but overthinking will ruin what could possibly be an amazing experience. Third, there are no rules. Other than transparency we owe each other NOTHING. If he wants us to get fat on restaurant food and tequila then fine. If I’m passionate about us spending on experiences vs restaurant food then I should say so and also put my pocket book where my mouth is.

Dating in your 30s as much as it is and will always be to find love and companionship is also a strategic merger. You are not young enough to waste your time with people holding you back or who don’t want to be pushed further than their comfort zone. You are also too old to be holding on to unrealistic ideals because of social media. If you can’t do it for yourself, you shouldn’t expect anyone else to, unless you are willing to make the sacrifices that come with it. This goes for men and women. You can’t afford your own place and you move in, you can’t complain about the heater not being on, on a cold day. Similarly just because someone wants to provide for you part of the way, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t reciprocate and match their energies. That said, I'm not used to being treated well, so before I start buying watches, rings and things I’m just going to let someone be nice to me and see where it goes. I won’t be acting like a thirsty birdy until we are at least four dates in…I’m lying. We will just have to see how it goes. I'm pretty sure its gonna be a great time!

Bisou…bisou