#this kinda turned into a Polarity AND Void rant

[emthimofnight]

Does Polarity have any cosmic powers like how void can summon black holes? Asking for science!

Well, technically, Void doesn't have the ability to summon TRUE black holes. He (and the other kids) all have a version of dark chaos energy, a byproduct of trying to reach the Perfected Ultimate Lifeform through Project Stellar. The main concept was trying to build upon Gerald Robotnik's research, attempting to create a living soldier that could harness latent chaos energy on a whim in order to artificially go super.

Void, essentially, is capable of creating dark chaos energy with such incredible mass that it effectively acts like a black hole. He basically figured out how to use the power of chaos control (the thing that allows Shadow and all of his lab kids to teleport) in reverse, compounding upon matter instead of transferring it from place to place. It effectively allows him to rip stuff apart instead of just moving it around.

Anyway, Polarity DOES have his own chaos abilities, but they are far weaker than his siblings. He usually uses them for run and gun tactics, utilizing his super speed to get in, and then his chaos spears to do damage. He tends not to rely on the teleportation abilities that Void and Andromeda do, seeing as he's fast enough to not really need them. That, and he has a far smaller chaos energy reserve, and if he isn't careful he can burn himself out by using too much of it.

Despite his weakness, I would say Polarity is probably the most technically skilled out of his siblings. He has always known he was at a power disadvantage, so he trains far harder than anyone else. His skill in combat is undeniable, even if he is seen as a failure by both the researchers that created him and his older brother.

As an additional add-on, I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but Void doesn't have super speed at all. He entirely relies on his massive power and incredible physical strength. He also has the most Black Arms DNA, which is why he is larger than both Sonic and Shadow, along with his trio of siblings.

[deafeningfanlight23]

Sun and Moon Designs for TSAMS AU + Rant! :] (I LIKE PSYCHOLOGY OKAY :'D)

I'M BACK Y'ALL I PULLED A WILLIAM AFTON! ✨💃 And because I have nothing to do, I will waste my time that I have on the Earth to talk about things THAT SHOULD BE TALKED ABOUT BY EVERYONE: THE SUN AND MOON SHOW! >:D

SUN'S SECTION

(Sun uses he/she pronouns in my story so don't be confused if I address her with she! :D)

I have ALWAYS imagined her with this over-the-top outfit, y'know, where you get an eye-strain - A bunch of colors slapped on the fabric with a radiating, never-ending positivity and sunshine coming from it all! :]

BUT, because he is one of my favorite characters and my top kin, OF COURSE HE GONNA HAVE TRAUMA that's my love language 😍✋ (I show affection this way don't mind me 💅😋)

This outfit is like the POLAR OPPOSITE of how he is feeling on the inside, and that's how I intended it to be (SUBTLE STORYTELLING OHHH Shakespear is in DA HOUSE >:D) - Because this is a part of this facade that he has been keeping up, one of positivity and joy, optimism and something else but I ran out of adjectives ;D

With this happy-go-lucky persona, she tries (and often fails) to cover up and hide this shadowy, nagging void and this untreated and messy pile of self-hatred, self-doubts and endless trauma that becomes increasingly intertwined! :D FUN AIN'T IT >:D

Sundrop also has a RELENTLESS inferiority complex that nearly paralyses and stunts him - That he is of less worth, that he is a burden and failure to his family and everyone around him, and that no matter how much he tries (and his lack of tries thereof), he will always be beneath everyone. And to be honest, he eventually accepted this role because he thought that's just how things are supposed to be, and that's the only place where he CAN'T do nothing wrong and can't disappoint anybody, because everyone else does the work while he stays in the sidelines and is stuck as the passive observer. He can't mess ANYTHING up through this, and that's good. Although it makes him feel so, SO feel useless, so much so that it feels like it chokes him around the throat like a noose whenever he sees his siblings (especially Moon) work so hard on keeping this piece of shit, HIM, safe, despite him doing NOTHING in return to even deserve this.

I have SO MUCH to tell about Sundrop and her psychology, it's just so fascinating and interesting! There are so many tiny, moving parts and pieces that make her the anxious, traumatized mess she is who can BARELY hold herself together and is about to snap! (and it helped me to kinda cope cuz I projected like 1000% issues of mine onto her :3 SO I GUESS THIS WAS JUST ME TRAUMA-DUMPING AND VENTING BUT SNEAKY, I evil genius 🤭)

ANYWAY, HERE IS SUNNYBOY! :D

This is my favorite so far because I also just slapped my own style onto him >:D AND YEAH I HAVE GOOD TASTE, I KNOW 💅✨ /j :D

Sun has a more "feminine" style and also an eyelash on the left eye because, in my story, he is a demigirl and uses he/she pronouns as mentioned :D I also gave him MANY earrings and details to emphasize kind of the randomness of his outfit and also the subtle randomness, or a more fitting term, "unpredictability" of him - You never know quite certainly what will piss him off and make him shout in unfiltered, pent-up rage, or make him suddenly turn quiet, stunted, and afterwards break down and sob. She is like a dice :]

The facade is EASILY to be cracked after all.

However, the amount of details and earrings are for me at least kind of overwhelming and everywhere, as if so many things are demanding for my attention - And that's because Sun is a mess, a person whose pieces of himself are scattered from one spot to one another more far away.

I COULD TALK ABOUT HER FOR HOURS YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH I GOTTA SHUT UP MY MOUTH 😭🙏

ANYWAY SUN'S DIFFICULTY TO DRAW WAS... 4/10 because he's an unstable cutie patootie :D But it was a bit difficult to talk about him because IT OMNIOUSLY IS SIMILAR TO ME HM I WONDER WHY- 😀

BUT NOW, THE EMO BLUEBERRY IS NEXT! >:D

MOON'S SECTION

I have NO IDEA how to begin with Moon, he is just really um Moon-y 😭

BUT what I can say about him is that in my story, he behaves more and is like the first version of Moon before he had sacrafised himself for KC - And we all know that he didn't treat Sun THAT well. Of course, he loved his brother dearly and cared about him, however, this love didn't really come across in his ways of trying to keep Sun safe and unburdened. He LITERALLY was so much "good intentions, bad methods."

He overprotected Sun so much by trying to unburden him by doing everything himself and not letting him help in a way, and although it should benifit Sun, it only caused their already stain relationship to actually fall apart more and Moon to crash out, causing him to ultimately lash out at Sun. It was very tragic to witness ^^' While the intentions of this are transparent, it actually just feeded into Sun's perception of his role as the useless brother and gave him another reason to hate himself even more, but especially made his fear of messing up even stronger and bigger because there was NO opportunity to challanege this belief by having a moment of success, accomplishment and glory that he desperately needed to get pulled out of this spiral - Which ultimately resulted into trying to kill Eclipse to silence these thoughts and feelings. It kept him depended on Moon though, because after a while of Moon doing everything himself, it was so normalized that he expected Moon to always figure everything out himself. It was a clashing piece of parts that shouldn't co-exist with each other. But he continued drowned in those feelings uselessness, in his inferiority complex and fear.

WAIT I WAS COMPLETELY DRIFTING OFF TOPIC I STARTED TO TALK ABOUT SUN- 😭 ("editing" Squishy: That's why I marked it yellow so you can skip it, and the following ones, too ;D)

Okay, to get the point across swiftly, Moon was abusive towards Sun. He exhibited absolutely abusive behavior and was sometimes EXTREMELY immature, and his ways of abusing Sun reflected that, too - Guilt-tripping, blame-shifting and much more. (But Sun is VERY MUCH so himself, too, we can't forget that.)

My interpretation is that Moondrop, while he and Sun still shared a body, had an emotional development that was constantly disrupted. He never really had the "privilege" to, for example, learn how to interact with the world around him and to learn how to regulate and control his emotions because of social isolation and the takeovers of Sun. Of course, that affected Sundrop too, but Sundrop had way more interactions with the outside world and had opportunitites to learn about social interactions (and Karens maybe taught him how to somehow restrain his emotions) unlike Moon.

Moondrop also was VERY depended on Sun, just like Sun was depended on Moon - He literally couldn't LIVE without him, even less than Sun could, because Sun was his only source of emotional stability, his sort of crutch that always helped him through things!

WITH THAT OUTTA THE WAY, TOO, Moon is also a VERY short-tempered person, just like Sun in a way. Although he is very smart, he also is VERY impulsive - He isn't very cold, cunning and calculating, but he CAN be. Just like Eclipse, the one he doesn't want to get compared to because he is the walking embodiment of EVERYTHING he doesn't want to be but sadly, still kind of is. Anyway, as we saw ourselves, he often threatened to beat Sun or punch him at least during gaming episodes, and although it was often seen as a joke by both of them that is not taken to be seriously (or so it looked like, though Sun very much got nervous), I think that it planted at least some seeds of fear in Sun's mind, judging how much HE TRIES to avoid to anger Moon and immediately gets quiet and fidgety when Moon is sadly angered. And the infamous whacking stick, we can't forget that :'D

And just like Sun, Moon also has an IMMENSE self-hatred and low self-esteem - His past haunted him and tormented him, his desire to protect Sun overrode sometimes the smart, science part of him, and there were many things he wanted to correct but never could and ultimately failed to do so.

OKAY WAIT WHY IS HE KINDA INTERESTING TO TALK ABOUT TOO- 😨

BUT ANYWAY HIS DESIGN! :D

THERE HE IS :3

I like his design a lot tbh! :D AND I JUST DISCOVERED THAT MOONFLOWERS EXIST AND LIKE OF COURSE I GOTTA SLAP IT ONTO HIS PANTS CUZ IT MATCHES SUN'S SUNFLOWERS >:D

Difficulty to draw was 6/10 cuz like meh :/ He introduced me to TSAMS though AND I REMEMBER RELATING TO HIM SO MUCH CUZ IT WAS THIS EPISODE I THINK "Sun learns MOON'S DARK SECRET" and where he basically DID NOT SPAT FACTS BUT TRAUMA 😭 So I will give him a sticker for trying :3

And now, the twins side-by-side:

They have similarities cuz they are twins, duh ✨💅

They have the same flower theme on the pants, they have those weird left eyebrows AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: They have those necklace thingies! :D And they work like this: Sun's has the actual Sun side in black to focus on the Moon, because Moon is his counterpart and he can't live without him, and Moon's has the actual Moon side in black to focus on the Sun because of the same reason! :D

AND THIS TOOK 1 HOUR AGAIN TO WRITE YAY 😍 Sooo thank you for hearing me yap, hope you enjoyed! :D (Though you can tell me of course if it doesn't interest you and you just want to see the character designs, I have the feeling that not many are interested in the stuff that I say! ^^' AND THAT'S OKAY BTW YOU SLAY REGARDLESS >:D)

NOW I GO SLEEP cuz it's 10 pm where I live and I have school tomorrow and I am sleep-deprived cuz NIGHTMARES :'D Nightmares should go and eat out of the garbage can I tell u 😃

TUNG! :D

[starkxsarcasm]

Meta...ish...sorta

So I have debated writing about this for a while, because it will no doubt be polarizing for a lot of people, but with Infinity War about to come out of DVD,Blu-Ray and that good stuff and having seen a bunch of gifs surrounding this, I feel comfortable stating my thoughts. So just take it how you will and if you agree or disagree, that’s totally fine. But here it goes.

I have such mixed feelings about Tony/Pepper.

Allow me to explain, for this is not a new thing. In fact, I’ve felt this way since the first Iron Man. So let’s start from the beginning.

Iron Man 1

When we are first introduced to Pepper, I was 100% on board. She was classy and sassy, took no shit from anyone and was fiercely loyal to Tony. 

I mean, look at this power girl. She knows Tony has important shit to do and can’t be bothered with awkward breakfasts or underhanded remarks from “Miss Brown” here. So, in the most classiest way, she basically tells her to GTFO, bitch. I loved it!

And then there first interaction. Oh my god, the cuteness!

Like, look at these two! They’re so cute! Pepper being the studious, responsible one, reminding the man-child Tony of all the stuff he has to do, all while Tony playfully flirts with her. Adorableness personified!

I mean, most of them in this movie is just so heartwarming! Tony hearing Pepper call his name while he’s being tortured, Pepper having cried when he came back, the little bicker they had when Tony wouldn't go to the hospital, how she stood by him even after he shut down his weapons manufacturing division when it would’ve been so easy to jump ship, the fun interaction with her helping change his arc reactor. I mean, guys, they were on a roll with this! I loved it!

Then came the first point of contention.

When Pepper finds out what Tony is doing, she tries to stop him and even tries to quit. Now I gave her the benefit of the doubt here, because what Tony was doing was kinda crazy. This was all before SHIELD and the Avengers, so him deciding to just superhero it up was obscenely dangerous. And, to her credit, she listens to him when he explains why he has to do this and does eventually help him download the files and stop Obadiah. All in all, this film was a great set up to their relationship and I so wish it continued on this path. 

But alas, it did not. Then comes Iron Man 2

Iron Man 2

Okay, I’m gonna try not to rant too much on this one, but honestly, this part kinda gets me heated up. So, us as the audience are privy very early on to the fact that Tony is dying from palladium poisoning, spelled out by JARVIS who says, “The device keeping you alive is also killing you.” So like, whoa, holy shit! What’s Tony gonna do now?

So, in comes Pepper! Right off the bat yelling at Tony for donating their art collection.

Okay, fine. That was probably frustrating after all the time Pepper spent curating it, but...does she even stop to question why Tony is doing that? It’s clearly out of character, or else she wouldn’t be so shocked and mad. Remember, this is supposed to be one of the people who knows Tony best and yes, Tony hides his emotions and thoughts really badly, but this is a blatant sign that something is wrong. But her first reaction is to shout at him? Okay, that’s not gonna get him to tell you what’s going on. At all. If anything, it’s gonna make him retreat farther into his shell. 

And another thing that kinda peeves me is she only chills out when Tony promotes her to CEO. Okay, yeah, huge promotion anyone would be happy about, but did she just forget that Tony is acting super out of character? That something might be seriously wrong?

Then the bit where Natasha/Natalie comes in and they sort of fall back into the goofy, cuteness argu-flirting during that scene, so I’m kinda like, “Okay, we’re back on track!”

Then...The Grand Prix

No, no, I’m sorry, but I’m with Tony here. What the hell was he supposed to do? Okay, being in the race was a last minute, reckless move but was he just supposed to run away? Let Vanko cut up more cars and hurt more people? Uh, no. That’s not who Tony is. People were in trouble, he wanted to help. And he gets yelled at for it.

Then the plane ride home.

Ding, ding, ding! Hello! I mean, does this guy need a giant flashing neon sign that reads “I’m not okay”? He is clearly acting super off in this scene, not wanting to go home, wanting to “be healthy” in Venice. He is practically holding himself back from completely losing it in front of her, and she doesn’t even notice? Okay, aftermath of a battle, nerves are frayed, I get it. But come on! It’s plainly obvious!

Hell, the first person Tony opens up to isn’t even Pepper, it’s Rhodey. The guy who realizes, “Hey, Tony is not okay. Let’s put aside all this bureaucracy BS for one second so I can find out what’s going on with my friend.” And him genuinely caring about that let’s Tony open up. Hell, he shows Rhodey the burnt out palladium. And yes, later they fight, but he trusted Rhodey in that moment to let him see him at his weakest.

I’m gonna skip the party scene a bit because I can honestly see both sides. Sure, Tony is acting a bit like a jackass and Pepper is tired, but again, this is still another red flag she just doesn’t catch.

And then the scene that really had me questioning this ship real hard.

Again, I get it I really do. She is frustrated and overworked. We’ve all been there But she doesn’t even try to listen to him. This is Tony Stark we’re talking about, a man who knows how to talk about his feelings about as well as a fish knows how to fly. And here he is, trying to explain everything that’s going on, stammering over his words and trying to explain his side and she just cuts him off, like nothing. This isn’t even an argument at this point, this is just shouting louder than someone else and refusing to hear them. This scene really rubbed me the wrong way. Tony doesn’t have anyone else at this point. Rhodey’s gone, his house is a wreck, Fury is just cryptic. He needs someone. And she just shuts him down, because she’d frustrated. Like, that is just so low to me.

But okay, the movie goes on, they have the battle at the Expo and Tony saves her. Got it, got it. Cool! The interaction on the roof was cool and the kiss was cute, but honestly...it was just more bickering? And the kiss, the more I think about it, doesn’t seem earned after all that’s happened above. 

But okay! Maybe things will be better next movie, right? Wrong!

Iron Man 3

Now, I’m largely skipping The Avengers, because their interactions are limited and, for the most part, kinda cute. Even the little bicker with the 12% comment was kinda light and funny. They really did have nice interactions, cute moments of flirting and it even kinda made me sad that Tony couldn’t connect to Pepper before flying into space. Overall, I have no problem with them in the Avengers. 

That’s not the case in Iron Man 3.

Now this section is largely gonna be void of pictures and too much ranting, because I’ve already gone over my least favorite scene in this meta here: http://starkxsarcasm.tumblr.com/post/169317464612/musings

But I’m still gonna touch on some things. 

Okay, but for real. Can someone explain to me what the fuck is going on here in this scene? Like, honestly. I’m lost. Pepper has just told Happy she’s been batting Killian off with a stick for years because he’s constantly asked her out. I think all girls can relate to that one guy who just won’t take no for an answer, so when I heard her tell Happy this, I was like, “Go, girl! Be that strong woman!”

But oh no, Killian’s turned..hot?! (I used that term loosely, because to me he looks like a bag of unflavored corn chips) But...seriously?! Because he’s cleaned up a bit, you’re suddenly all taken aback and all like, “You look great!” Girl, this was a creepy guy, creeping on you creepily for years! Now you’re letting him touch you and be all flirty without kicking him in the nuts?!

I’m totally on Tony’s side here! He has a right to be jealous, if this is how she acts towards some creep who got a five dollar makeover! To her credit, she turns down his proposal, but then acts all flustered and blushy when he leaves. What the hell, Pepper? What happened to that power girl who told “Miss Brown” to kindly fuck off?

And then the subsequent “I can’t sleep” through “Tinker with that” scene which....*deep breath* Yeah, if you wanna know my feelings on that, read the above linked meta post, because talking about it more is just gonna make me angry.

And, even after all that, even after Tony plainly explains he is not okay, the next scene with Maya is literally just Pepper taking potshots at Tony, calling Maya an “old girlfriend” and arguing with him about all that’s been going on. And yes, Tony was dumb threatening the Mandarin. Yes, Pepper has a right to be freaked out. But honestly, when is enough gonna be enough? He is trying to do the best he can, while also suffering from PTSD. Shouting at him is not going to help! I don’t know how many times I can say that before it sticks. Then the house collapses and she thinks Tony is dead and it’s sadness all around. She gets kidnapped again, Tony has to save her. Fast-forwarding because, again, I largely have no problem with these scenes. I even kinda like the “I got you.” “I got you first” line. 

Then, when Tony finally does come to rescue her, first thing she does is call him a jerk. Um...okay? You’re welcome? He just fought through hell and back to get to you, but sure, “jerk” works, I guess. Then the mad scramble for Tony to go and get her followed by thinking she’s dead. Again, no problem with this bit, but that may be due to RDJ’s phenomenal acting during it, because damn, he sells it. 

And then boom! She’s alive and we get some fairly cool kickass bits from her before it all settles down. Now one line that has always bugged me is the “And all your distractions?” Distractions? Like Tony said at the end, his suits are not distractions, they’re cocoons. When is she going to realize that? Also, no, “So are you going to get help for your PTSD and nightmares?” Nope, just “distractions.”

Not gonna go into Civil War, since Pepper isn’t in it, but if anyone wants to hazard a guess as to why they’re taking a break, *gestures to above text* take your pick!

And now for Homecoming and Infinity War

These I’m combining because the problem I have with the relationship now bleeds into both movies and here it is.

Is it just me or does Pepper seem bizarrely disinterested in marrying and having a family with Tony?

Think about it. When Happy pulls out the ring, she gets this look on her face like, “Uh, excuse me?” That may be from the fact that Happy had been carrying it around so long, sure, but then when Tony tries to defend it, she’s all, “I can think of something better.” Um...ouch.

Then in Infinity War, the line, “If you wanted a kid, you wouldn���t have done that.” Speaking, of course, to his new arc reactor. But...what does that have to do with anything? Pepper, after all this time, is still riding Tony’s ass about being Iron Man and helping save the world and her, and is holding the fact that he wants a kid over his head, almost in revenge. Like, “Well, you chose this, so no kid for you!” And she constantly shoots down talks about a kid and the wedding and just....did you take the ring or not, honey?! What is your issue?

Again, I know this will be polarizing for people, and you’re not stupid or wrong if you like the ship, but guys, I’m gonna be honest. I’m kinda just over it. It started off with such promise and just degraded into unpleasant arguments, ignoring when Tony needs help, and constant “yes, no” backs and forth conversations. 

It’s just not a fun ship for me anymore. I wish it was.

[onyx-lumis]

So I'm slightly scared by this tarot reading, can anyone help decipher it

I've never pulled Death before and this time it was joined with judgment, page of wands and strength.

For context I took a break from college after having a mental break down and spending some time in the psych ward prior to that I had spent most of my year in school sick with mono and strep throat. During the summer home I got kicked out (again) and am now living with my impossibly amazing roommate who is my best friend and queer platonic partner. I've been really tired from life after last year but have so much desire to get better and support my best friend and her mom. They are some of the most emotionally intelligent people I've ever meet and her mom is bi polar and fairly non functional (no job, trouble eating/ staying awake) but she is such an amazing and beautiful person, a advocate for finding the right meds and an extremely wholesome motherly figure. Anyways this is turning into a high rant about my life rn but I just wanted to put out there into the void since I haven't had the energy to write out what's going on like this in years. Things are strange and I'm really going to have a therapist and psychiatrist for the first time, I've been takin care of unconditionally for the past few months and know it's truly unconditional. Things have been so fun, so hard, so loving and so exhausting. Things are amazing and I am confused. But life is beautiful and always worth it, I will fight till life feels right.

This reading makes sense, it's so intimidating I'm so scared to start again because I feel like I can't fail again or I won't be able to get the energy to start again. But I've been platoing with my depression and anxiety for so long now.

(Thanks for reading, this kinda just turned in a journal entry. Might as well post rather than copy and paste into notes lol)