#this just sorta happens sometimes
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sometimes i think about the idea that the digital circus is JUST caine. its all what hes made. i mean he named himself, whose to say the circus isnt his own creation, an extension of himself
#maybe c&a never made the digital circus. maybe they just made caine . and the headset too probably#maybe they made caine and just... let him steep#i mean. they didnt even name him!!! he came up w his name himself!!!!#what if they made him and left him behind (i like the theory that hes abandonware. or smth similar at least)#and hes just sorta gradually made more and more. its all him#i dont know how likely it is#considering the age rating and i dont imagine hed have the idea for a demographic for no reason#theres a game logic to it all so it seems like there WAS an effort TO make a game from c&a and thats reflected thru caine#maybe they gave him an engine. sat this ai in an engine with some perameters and jsut went. well lets see what happens#or just got that far and stopped for whatever reason#maybe got stuck in the game but no one was there anymore to explain what happened#...but theres some logistics there that get complicated#like then how do ppl keep showing up? and why? pomnis said nothing to indicate ANYTHING#among many other things...#idk if this makes sense i just think abt it sometimes..#that caine IS the circus#that caine IS the game#circus discussion
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wolbert week day 1: a new life
a miracle is the sound of reality buckling
#wolbertweek2024#warrior of light#Ardbert#fanart#speedpaint#i draw sometimes#Final Fantasy XIV#unsyncing seat of sacrifice once again like mr elidibus sir do not aggro on me i am just inspecting the floors over here#anyway there are a couple of other minor tweaks in this au for how the shb patches go down#but basically seat of sacrifice sorta doesn't happen. or at least elidibus doesn't transform & ardbert's body isn't destroyed in the proces#1) wol with ardbert's soul in tow is very op (pls nerf)#2) he kinda takes elidibus by surprise there because he hasn't actually done a very good showing for him before lol#+ elidibus has seen how he usually never speaks up nvm abt raising his voice#but went out of his way to demand ardbert's body back & so he very clearly has wol rattled and is very smug abt it#and there's 0 hesitation on wol's part this time bc he feels bolstered by his promise to cylva to put an end to this#try summoning now when you're too busy catching these hands#THERE'S MORE but by god did these tags get away from me#anyway hello how are you all doing
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what? me?? having soft unagi shrimp thoughts??? *snrk.* *pfft!* never.
#hello and welcome to gar remembering it’s their blog and they can talk into the void whenever they want because it’s their blog#anyway i was thinking about as the years go by gia does become far more openly affectionate with floyd#like late 20’s to early 30’s#they’ve technically been together for like…over a decade and you’d think gia just started developing a crush on the guy#anyway sometimes when floyd is in a good mood and his face is within reach gia will just pepper his face with quick little kisses#floyd dubs this their ‘cleaner shrimp mode’#he also tends to react in one of three ways#either they’re rewarded with a kiss or kisses when they finally get to his mouth#or he just sorta lets it happen if it’s not disrupting what he’s doing until gia’s satisfied#or he gently nudges their head back with his to get across the message that he’s had enough but he’s not upset#OR because it wouldn’t be unagi shrimp if it always went well#floyd is like get off you freaking barnacle and then gia bites him#but then again ‘not going well’ is subjective given gia sometimes just wants to tussle#or sometimes floyd wants to tussle#or both#what was i talking about again#unagi shrimp#gia yugo#gar speaks
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He's such a sweetheart :(
#my art#fanart#art#scott pilgrim vs the world#gideon graves#spvtw#gideon gordon graves#scott pilgrim takes off#spto#i dont even like spto i just want attention#didn't mean to uwu babyboy him the pink palette just sorta happened#but like maybe sometimes you have to uwu babyboy a 31 year old man a bit#as a treat
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Me: time to sit down and do so much drawing
My body: I actually am gonna do the thing where it feels like you're having an anxiety attack for no reason and also like you ran a marathon but you're just sitting okay?
Me: bro no
#augh#just sorta happens sometimes#maybe cause i ate that sandwich?#idk#sometimes i can sit and draw for hours and sometimes it feels like im dying#not emotionally#physically#idk its probably just being overwhelmed by so many things to do
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"I play both sides so I always come out on top" - says local animator who hates both terfs and transmasc people specifically, apparently
#well that would explain why there are trans women but afaik no trans men#i kinda. assumed that it just sorta happened. sometimes you don't think too hard and then you look back and realise#that 80 % of your named characters are like#women#for example. which is the vaguest example and it isn't even a problem. it's worse when you look back and see that 80 % are idk same height#same race similar body type. that's when you know you're fucked.#which is why i sorta assumed that it just happened. well i guess it didn't just happen
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The Wintersea Republic and the Free State: Different Age lengths?
I was going to save this until my Hollowpox reread post, but I’ve hit a snag in my eternal reread and now I don’t know when I’ll share that. This is something I noticed that I didn’t fully realize before. This is specifically about post-Massacre Ages. Pre-Massacre stuff is still currently a Wild West of unknowns.
The Wintersea Republic seems to have consistently had 10-12 year Ages since it was formed. This lines up with the amount of Ages it has had and how long it’s been around for. This consistency is also how Squall establishes the “curse.”
I had always assumed that Ages were consistent among the Realm, so that Nevermoor has also been experiencing these same Age lengths for the same amount of time. This is because at the beginning of the first book we see that their Morningtides align. This is where my theory about Wundersmith deaths or Wunder irregularities causing Eventides at the end of years comes from, because it seems likely that that’s what triggered this Eventide and likely all the ones related to the “curse”.
However, in ch2 of Hollowpox, Jupiter says the following:
“Golders Night,” Holliday echoed, and her expression grew thoughtful. She tapped a finger against her mouth. “There’s a thought… what’s it been, twelve years since the last one?” “Fourteen, I believe,” said Jupiter. “Spring of Seventeen in the Age of Poets. ”
So, 14 years ago, Nevermoor was in the midst of an Age that was at least 17 years long? Now I'm less sure what triggers Eventides/new Ages, especially in the Free State...
I find it unlikely that the Republic also experienced this same 17 year Age, as the fairly consistent Ages seems to be how Squall establishes the Eventide Curse... HOWEVER..... Morrigan turns 13 in Hollowpox... so this would have been the Age before her, and it might've actually been more like 18 (or 19? I'm bad at math) years long? Maybe Squall did something new the Age before Mog, like tried to take on an apprentice or two before her, or carry out some plan (or study?) with the other cursed children. The abnormally long Age could be balanced out by some of the earlier Ages in the lifespan of the Wintersea Republic being considerably short in comparison.
I would love to hear anyone's own thoughts on this! It's something I realized and now am trying to figure out how it fits with everything because I never really thought about it before.
#nevermoor#nevermoor theory#if I'm missing or forgetting about or etc etc any notable facts or details please let me know. it happens sometimes lol#my eternal reread is on hold bc my Apple Books app updated when my phone did and it’s ugly and unreadable now!!!!! horrible!!!!!!!!!!#anyways. enjoy this. I honestly think I need to wait for more info before I post other theories I mentioned#bc I think I sorta jumped the gun w the eventide one and didn’t think abt details like this so now I only rly believe in like half of it…..#the thing is that octopuschair of wiki fame always mentioned this and bc I never rly reread hollowpox I just assumed it was one of +#+ the past ages like in a ghostly hour. oops lmaooo.#this also throws a little bit of a wrench into my calendar project
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realizing just how LONG its been since ive posted a ragatha comic. i need to do that again its been too long despite the fact that i think most of my best work wrt tadc has been my ragatha stuff...
hey wait wtf i posted this and tumblr deleted like the last 12 tags. what the hell . that sucks. maybe i hit tag limit and it just didnt tell me or stop me from adding more tags...
#thinking on it its probably that ragatha is the character i relate to the most that is the reason for this...#i like to hope i write the other characters just fine but w ragatha i think its like#not just like a pomni sort of fondness and obsesssion w her writing and depiction . (and also intense romantic feelings towards)#i mean that all applies to howo i feel abt ragatha too. but w ragatha theres also a like . i Get her#more personally than i am with pomni#like ive said it before for sure but i like pomni the most but i relate to ragatha the most...#so i think when i draw her its like#shes not like SUPER close to me but shes close enough that i feel like i Get Her#points at her. ocd ptsd and a very specific type of issue i wont get into. I Get You#(this happened w one too... if anyone is familiar w that show that i keep mentioning like a phantom that haunts this blog LOL#my fav was liam . but i related deeply w amelia who read very heavily as ocd ptsd. to me. and the other specific issue.#i have a type with characters i like you see)#but YEAH#i play around a lot but i think the ragatha kinger one page comic i did is what im proudest of still...#and maybe date night but waves hand#not to try to recreate success or Whats Worked really. more that i just really enjoy it and i like to write dialogue#and to try to convey as much humanity i can in the characters and that style of things lends itself well to that#...and truthfully i still sometimes fantasize about making comics Properly and it feels like good prqactice...#<- you can see one of the sillier reasons i relate to gangle HAHA#but yeah also i loooove to try to write like. mundane interactions in a way that gets across smth abt characters.. its fun#i particularly enjoy trying to convey trageedy without being tooooo overt about it#which is hard. but fun!#i think someone could probably tell by looking thru my blog that i like when things are either silly or like#tragics not the right word. i mean i like to convey tragedy too i suppose. but i like when things can be hopeful and kinda tragic#at the same time. i like that sorta thing. its fun to me...#that bad things have happened but ppl can still make it. but also they may make it but those bad things are irreversible. etc#i do like sweet things but particularly if theyre deeply boring too at least a little.... i like characters having unimportant conversation#but yeah these tags are long and i feel like im losing the plot a little whoops. im really tired ill prob sleep in a minute here#whateverrrrrrr. point is that i should REALLY get around to finally finishing a comic i sketched out like months ago#.. i ALSO need to finish 2.5 requests!!! i cannot forget those
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Based on a this ask
#TYE Spoilers#March#Eko#Iddy#Messar Robin Bastar#should I tag Kai and Gugu? they’re technically there (Hairo too. if you squint)#My Art#To Your Eternity#To You The Immortal#Fumetsu No Anata E#Getting some practice in drawing some of the other goobers#if you can believe it I have the most trouble drawing March out of any of em lol#Like Gugu’s difficult but it’s because the mask is so intricate#but March has that round little face and sometimes when I draw her hair she just ends up looking like a pear lol#Messar’s hair was pretty tough too but I also wasn’t looking at too many references so that one’s on me#anyway I LOVE LOVE LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC IM SO GLAD WE GOT TO SEE THEM ARGUING AND MARCH NAGGING HIM AUGH#and Iddy having March’s back with the receipts lol like AH I imagine they’re like partners in crime sorta (or Justice I suppose)#Messar was gonna be yawning all ugly to show that the conversation bored him but I guess I succumbed to his charm cuz he turned out real hot#like. idk what happened. I guess i want him now 🫶#sad i cant post this on Twitter or Instagram at the moment cuz my friends still haven’t finished Season 2#so y’all are getting the first look 👍#as soon as they catch up all of this is fair game tho
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3:23AM, time to post Hatamori fankid and retreat back into my hiding hole
#this is what i was referring to in my last post#sometimes ideas will just pop into my head and i will be unable to resist the urge#i missed sprite editing. it had been a while since i last made a person's sprite#anyways her name is Akira and I haven't decided if it's Akira Tomori or Akira Hatano yet#i like both of their surnames a bunch#thinking of her from a scenario where Ayame and Kizuna survive the kg and get together a while afterwards#Akira is adopted. obviously. Her biological parents died in the tragedy she was adopted at around 4-6 years old#doesn't remember how her bio parents where because she was like? 1-2 years old when they died?#being with them in whatever happened that led to their deaths she may have some form of memory problem from the accident(?)#Akira is pretty forgetful and slow on the uptakes. but it's nothing too worrisome#she doesn't actually care that she can't remember her bio parents because the family she has now is much more important to her#she takes more after Kizuna especially in tems of personality (tho definitely not as bad as she used to be in Dra if you know what i mean)#put them in a room together and they will gossip and talk about random shit for hours#she loves Ayame too! they just don't talk a much? Akira used to follow her everywhere when she was a kid but now that she grew up#Ayame being the awkward-ish person she is struggles a bit on how to talk/interact with her#they work out together sometimes and Ayame will always volunteer to listen to Akira play some new song she's writing#and give her opinions on it#as you can see she is a musician. aspiring rockstar specifically#this came to her as a way to vent about the tragedy and all that mess sorta#may ramble more some other time i am getting sleepy#dra#danganronpa another#fankid#hatamori#sprite edit#edit#hyena scribbles#Akira Tomori Hatano
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i still have SO many feelings about the may & robin storyline, and just robin in general, honestly. like, i will seriously try and write a coherent thing about this at some point, but just. awestruck feels of the Soft Variety. it’s just- things brought full circle in the most gorgeous way. it’s a such a kind story, and it’s one of the most special to me in anything ever, i think. may has lost all hope so many times in so many ways. but she’s spent building so much time building herself back from so many personal ends, and when everything ends she becomes the person who keeps hope. she from not wanting hope she becomes the person that carries that hope for everyone.
robin is so young and has lived through so little and at once so much. more than anyone can fathom. she sees death and destruction behind her eyes all the time but that also makes the only person who sees the possibility of hope, the possibility of something that seems inevitable going differently. a chance for a better world, a better future. and it’s may who takes her in, takes care of her - in so many ways robin represents everything may never thought she could have, could be ever again: a mother. someone who could nurture, protect, love, hope. a source of comfort. unafraid.
You weren’t afraid of what I could do.
may knows what it is to have a hell inside your head. to find a way out, to find the hope, the light. it’s not the same thing, but it IS. robin knew, all her days, that she was safe. may believed in her. may was herself- everything she was, everything her life had made her, and that meant someone who made a little girl feel safe. that meant someone who never gave up hope. she lost so much and she loved even harder and because of THAT- because she believed in a little girl who saw a better world- because of that the world was saved.
AGH.
their exchange in the flashback is one of my favorite bits of dialogue.
may: you tell me your vision of us saving the world.
robin: but I’ve never seen that vision.
may: you will.
i’ve been feeling like I need a break from writing may lately, and have simultaneously been having kind of a hard time with that (in all fairness, i’ve written two frickin novels’ worth of her over the past almost two years and little else… this relates to both points). so. working on giving myself less of a hard time about, um, most things really, but especially ebbing and flowing inspiration. but i really really want to write something for them someday. this story is so, so special to me.
#i also have a may & yoyo friendship fic i just cannot finish right now#but that i am determined to at some point#and an au that diverges very dramatically pre-canon and is basically me stealing characters and figuring out what i can build with them#and elements of wider mcu canon#~selective cherry picking of canon~ as my best friend calls it#it is very special to me and sorta half-constructed. i feel like i need more both writing AND life experience to give that one my best#this whole not everything has to be done NOW and sometimes it’s okay to just wait until the time is right thing#is HARD y’all#but we’re working on it#in the meantime diving back into original work is proving very rewarding and quite the adventure#mmhm.#she speaks!#river randomly rewatches things#sorta#writing things#aos meta#melinda may#robin hinton#agents of shield: it’s funny what can happen when someone believes in you.
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What is it about being openly trans that makes people feel so entitled about your personal relationships and your life. My brother in christ we are classmates and I barely talk to you (i dont even like you and said yes multiple times when you asked if you were annoying to me) so why is it that you have the BONE to ask me (1) if i came out to my dad (2) what my parents said when i came out to them (3) why dont i make a fuss when people deadname me on accident like I'm sorry buddy but that's none of your business. Yknow
#he came to sit near me today and i was like UGH *why*#but like sure ok dude aint offending me by just sitting there sometimes people annoy you. that aint a capital sin#and like#DUDE#this has happened before as well and some kids kept asking me very invasive questions and i was like ???#lil man you shouldnt ask this sorta thing ti strangers. yknow#its different than my close friends asking me if i plan on getting a masectomy because YKNOW. WE ARE FRIENDS#rambles#trans
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So fun fact for those of you new to Danny Phantom crossovers, specifically to Danny Phantom lore—Phantom is entirely capable of doing incredible feats of strength and endurance. He once, canonically, lifted a school bus full of children without issue. On the other hand, Fenton, human Danny Fenton? He’s failing gym class. He’s not like, faking it either. He is not thinking that far ahead. He’s GENUINELY bad at PE. So is Tucker, actually. SAM however, is INCREDIBLY GOOD. One of the best in class, actually. And Jazz has at least been shown to enjoy VR kickboxing (or whatever we’re calling what she was up to during the whole Danny Got Shrunk With Dash episode).
So, like. Yeah. For the most part, in fanon it’s a little ignored, especially as we do see Danny do some pretty cool flips, some while still in ‘human’ form. But canonically he’s pretty weak and has needed help to not, like… die. (Maternal Instinct is one episode that shows this—Maddie and Danny end up stranded in the middle of the forest because… long story short, it’s a Vlad scheme. And she spends most of her time when she’s with Danny protecting him from the… everything that’s trying to kill them, which is, in fact, everything. Involves a scene where Danny sits in a tree as his mom fights an ectobear if I remember correctly. This is me blatantly telling you to watch Maternal Instinct by the way.)
Do with THAT what you will.
#danny phantom#danny phantom crossover#listen there’s lots of canon stuff we should use more#like. seeing Danny have more ghostly attributes is fun#I like it!#but I wish it got balanced with .phantom. being more human like. which doesn’t always happen#and rarely in a like. idk how to phrase it. horror way?#while fanon does sometimes separate Fenton from Phantom and I have too for story reasons#in canon it does a GREAT job of setting it up as just Danny. there’s not really a separation.#and yet the lines between Phantom and Fenton are VERY distinct#Danny does do ghost stuff as a human#but it’s always portrayed as either an accident because of sudden powers—understandable#a power acting up because Ghosts—again. understandable#or very intentional.#so there is basis for that. but phantom is also like. one of the only ghosts with a human skin tone#iirc at least#spectra SORTA does but spectra is frankly terrifying#like. we should use her more as a trauma point tbh#she tried to kill Jazz? to depress the entire school INCLUDING Danny#so she could feed#and then the time everyone got a ghost bug and Danny ended up strapped to a table and she tried to steal his dna for an immortality skin#which. she specified Fenton dna and Fentonightingales were witchhunters.#an untapped lore source in crossover. I rarely go to the normal fanfics so idk if it’s different there#…. I should go there more but crossovers tend to be more up my alley in creepiness and jokes#eh. should check in anyways bc maybe that’s changed now lol#why is the phandom like this they ask? pls look at the canon material dear LORDT.
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ohhh. randomly getting scared of engaging with things i usually like might also be a plural thing. that makes sense now damn
#it happens often where like i remember that i like something so i wanna engage with it#but all of a sudden im scared to and i dont really like. remember feeling anything towards it despite the fact i know i did technically#and it feels weird and anxiety inducing to engage with it like it feels when i engage with something new#all this stuff is confusing cause my plurality isnt clearly split up into different parts like most representations of plurality are#its much more blurry and i dont have different memories between facets. mostly just different. feelings and shit i guess#im kinda like. still a singular base person. i sorta just get piloted by different people sometimes i guess is the best way to describe it#i should probably start keeping this stuff in mind so i dont keep trying to treat myself like the same person all the time#it might be ok to do that with myself if i didnt have such bad anxiety around new things but currently its like#i keep trying to force a bunch of different people who all have a bad anxiety disorder into doing the same exact things#so obviously a lot of them are gonna be scared all the time cause most of them arent used to doing that thing#man this shits confusing. at least i can usually tell when im switching#so i can try to remind myself that im gonna be a new guy and i should try to listen to the new guy so i dont fuck myself up#awoo
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You ever finish a drawing that you really like and then you spend the next three days randomly looking at it for minutes at a time like that could make it possible for you to absorb its alluring and magnetic essence with your eyes
#this is me with my icon rn. also this is silly but yeah it really feels like that#i experienced the same thing but even more intensely back in february with the short comic i made then#and then also with some of the paintings i made during my painting course days#admiring the colors and lighting on this mundane green bottle. why not#honestly this might be the first time in my life when i'm making things and i sometimes end up actually liking them fully#no little extra gripes with it that could ruin it. i just like the thing as it is. love it even. it's exactly as it should be#this feeling is one of the top things that make drawing and overall at least attempting to make art worth it#i also wonder if anyone else experiences this thing where the image of a certain character stays in your sort of visual imagination sphere#like the thing becomes associated with everything that happens at that time. the music i listen to etc#it almost feels like i sort of AM this thing. like. spiritually#ok this is hard to explain without sounding kind of odd LMAO#it's just that i've never seen anyone express this exact sentiment. with seeing the character in your minds eye sorta#i mean hmmmm. ofc fursonas and all different types of sonas and such exist. re: the identification thing#i actually find the concept of an 'avatar' as something that represents you (in a digital setting mostly) really intriguing#it was actually one of the things i seriously considered as the subject of my bachelor's thesis#but yeah ok i'm just saying this so that you all know that i AM that little purple kitty holding a heart. btw#ok i'm going to go eat dinner now. don't mind me and my strange long-winded monologues#goosepost
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Oooo I wanna play some game on the puter!!
*the most diabolical cat-pilled shift known to man*
#im so#im so kibty#so catpilled rn#oughhh#it all started when i was at my puter waiting for a game to extract#and i was having a fun time and i was listening to some tunes and eating some treats#when all of a sudden i blank out a little and just start fucking kneading with my hands on my desk#and then i get the cravings for a lil meat treat because of course i do and the privilege of having human body means human access to the#sausages and the ham >:3#so ofc i make myself a cheeky little plate#and sit in my bed and eat the ham#all the while just sorta phased out like it sometimes happens when i get more animalistic shifts while eating#content no thoughts head empty just om nom nom#also i heated up the sausage a lil too much and didnt bother bringing a fork because ofc i was gonna eat with my hands during such a strong#shift i mean come onn#well anyways#i heated up the sausage too much by accident so it was too hot to hold#so i just brough the plate up to my mouth and bit it off from the plate ehehehehehe#very fun#very creature#now im content curled up in my bed :33#the games can waitttt#shapeshifterkin#otherkin#alterhuman#Asher’s Ramblings
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