#its much more blurry and i dont have different memories between facets. mostly just different. feelings and shit i guess
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ohhh. randomly getting scared of engaging with things i usually like might also be a plural thing. that makes sense now damn
#it happens often where like i remember that i like something so i wanna engage with it#but all of a sudden im scared to and i dont really like. remember feeling anything towards it despite the fact i know i did technically#and it feels weird and anxiety inducing to engage with it like it feels when i engage with something new#all this stuff is confusing cause my plurality isnt clearly split up into different parts like most representations of plurality are#its much more blurry and i dont have different memories between facets. mostly just different. feelings and shit i guess#im kinda like. still a singular base person. i sorta just get piloted by different people sometimes i guess is the best way to describe it#i should probably start keeping this stuff in mind so i dont keep trying to treat myself like the same person all the time#it might be ok to do that with myself if i didnt have such bad anxiety around new things but currently its like#i keep trying to force a bunch of different people who all have a bad anxiety disorder into doing the same exact things#so obviously a lot of them are gonna be scared all the time cause most of them arent used to doing that thing#man this shits confusing. at least i can usually tell when im switching#so i can try to remind myself that im gonna be a new guy and i should try to listen to the new guy so i dont fuck myself up#awoo
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