#this just in local cryptid is going bonkers

[cloudnstarry]

Now listen, I'm normally a very hungry person. Now gazing at this image here? Hungry is not the word I'd use.

Maybe a better way to say it is "oh my god if I don't have that in my mouth in the next 2 seconds I will commit atrocities for this delectable looking meal"

[tubbypeddle]

Hiii! I'm wanting a matchup for parts 5,6 and 7! One character from each! My name is Chamomile- I'm 21 from the U.S. Southern Appalachia actually, and you can hear it in my accent which I very much get picked on for when I go anywhere else. I come from the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the woods in rural farmland, kind of a local cryptid because I collect bones! :) I live on a farm with sheep and horses. But I love to travel, I love adventuring in cities and going urbexing, and cool techy or goth clothes that most here in the country don't seem to like or understand. I am mostly made fun of in my area for liking the things I do or acting a certain way, but in all honesty, I don't take it very seriously. The way I dress would be dependent on the day, but a mix between dark academia, cottagecore on some days, and alternative or gothy looking things. I love either earthy tones or pastel pinks depending on how I feel that day. Visually I am smol. But stout and strong. Built for wrestling bear.

Another thing people here don't take seriously is education. I have a passion for academia! I study astrophysics in my free time and graduated high school 4 years early. I look up to scientists like Eddington. Currently, I'm in University studying Religion and Theology! I'm hoping to apply directly for PhD in Biblical/Religious sciences and Archelogy. I'm a big nerd and like to study rocks and cool bones, ancient humans, and finding the next cool dinosaur, figuring out how they died exactly and how everything fits in history books. It drives me bonkers when I see inaccurate interpretations of extinct animals (erm... actually! jurassic park is WRONg!) and It makes me sound like a pretentious nerd but I SWEAR. I just think they're neat Obviously, I'm religious, borderline Catholic but not officially. I once applied to be a nun! I was turned away for chronic illness, otherwise I would not be on tumblr right now My favorite things are: Frogs, reptiles and amphibians, moss, the rain. God I love the rain. It's the one thing that calms me down and makes me so happy. When I'm upset I play rain sounds and classical music, and make tea. I love sushi and any protein imaginable. I would much rather be outside in the woods than anywhere else in the world. I love nature so much, and I'm also adept at recognizing plants that are edible and are useful to make medicine from. In the same way I'm super good at identifying snakes and bugs. I love the water and creeks and fishes! !! Music wise I love nuwave, goth, metal and French Impressionist classical music. Personality wise? I am an enigma. Schroedingers cat. STRANGE AF. I seem very bubbly and extroverted and loud!!!! and stupid!!! and talk to much!!! Truth is I enjoy being alone most the time, just outside with the world. I have hiked miles into the woods just so I could truly be alone and not hear anything but the birds and the wind. Where I can breathe. I have SEEN some SHIT and have. SO much trauma that I just joke about mostly!! I am very optimistic. I can be very childish, and I love things that make me feel like I'm a kid again, but I LOVE intelligent conversation about history or physics or whatever I feel like discussing. Most people do not have the patience or interest to hear me talk, so I write 14 page research essays on whatever, mostly about science, the genetic makeup of the world or religious studies. Answers to the universe type shit. Have fun!!!!

AWWWH hello Mx. chamomile 🫂

You are so nice, WHATTTT???? and so damn cool wtf. like who the hell just casually studies astrophysics bc they want to??? you're so cool and i'm so excited to do this for you!!!

(author's notes: creds to gif owners bc of course, I didn't make them <3)

So, you find yourself traveling again, and you find yourself visiting Italy!

And would you look at that! There's a multitude of men who find themselves tripping over themselves trying to get you to themselves!

And who is our lucky candidate.....

Risotto

As beautiful and charming as he finds you, that's not what attracts him to you.

He's attracted to your intelligence, your brain. You are so incredibly smart, it's beautiful. He loves that in a partner. He can hold mature conversations with you, and you'll engage in those kinds of conversations with him on your own.

It's refreshing.

He loves his team, but it's no secret that they're not the most mature. Maybe Prosciutto is, but he has a habit of insulting everything. So maybe he's not the most fun to talk to.

Your conversation topics are never boring. He could listen to you talk for hours about anything. Religion and theology? Yes, please. Frogs and other animals? He's so down. He loves learning from you.

Perhaps your jokes about your trauma catch him off guard at first, he can't deny that they're funny. Honestly, he's pretty much the same. Deadpan humor about why he ended up as a hitman in the first place are his favorite go to jokes that he makes. Anything is worth it to see you smile.

He's not used to people wanting to do things for him, so when you run around doing little tasks for him to help him feel better. Let's just say, he feels weird about it. He's flattered, don't get him wrong, but he still feels awkward accepting it. He feels like he doesn't deserve it. Like he doesn't deserve you sometimes.

A simple hug from you clears that from his mind though.

His love language to you is words of affirmation, though. He's not one for words very often, so he makes sure to tell the people he loves that he appreciates them. He didn't tell his cousin often enough when she was alive, so he makes it a point to tell you so that you know how much he loves you.

He finds your accent so cute, too. He can only speak some English, but he knows enough to hold an entire conversation. When your accent becomes prominent, he finds it hard to understand you sometimes, but at that point he doesn't mind because it's just so silly to him.

When it starts to rain, as it rarely does in such a sunny country like Italy, he knows that's when he needs to steal you away so he can have a cozy little home date with you. A movie, some snacks, and the rain sounding outside? That sounds like perfection to him. Maybe, if he's feeling up for it, he'll let you take him outside so you two can catch frogs.

And your style! Any of your styles are beautiful to him, but he's particularly drawn to your more gothic choices. It matches his own rather punk metal style, and he likes matching with you, even if he'd never admit it out loud.

Also, maybeeee he has a bit of a...size kink. Anyway! He likes that you're quite a bit smaller than he is, though that's not a difficult feat. He enjoys feeling like a protector, since it comes with his role as Capo of his team. But even so, even if he feels like a protector for you, he appreciates that you're also strong enough to take care of yourself for the rare moments that he doesn't find himself at your side. It eases his mind a bit.

Honorary mentions! Melone He's another one who's attracted to the brain, even if he's also attracted to your looks. But he won't steal you from his capo, he's too scared of Risotto to try that. Leone Abbacchio He's never been one for cute things, but after he'd met you by chance, it had changed his entire perspective. You were cute and smart. It was just some things he thought were exclusive.

How lucky Risotto is, to find himself with you. He's really got himself a catch.

And then there's a jump in time! And a jump in space! And now you're in Green Dolphin, Florida!

It's so humid here, isn't it? It's a good thing that

Foo Fighters

is here to cool you down!

F.F. is absolutely floored by your knowledge of everything! They think you know everything, and so they absolutely go to you for any questions they might have about humanity.

When you tell them about history's depiction of humans, F.F. is blown away. Like what!? Humans used to do that?! And they just left so many things behind for more humans to find! It was so fascinating.

And also, F.F. just loves hearing you talk. Your accent is fun! And you have so many things to say! It's a constant conversation between the two of you. F.F. loves learning, and you love talking about your interests. It's a perfect arrangement.

They're also one for a lot of physical touch, too! But it's probably not what you're thinking of. Sure, they love grabbing your arm and hugging you, but they also have no sense of personal space. F.F. just has no idea what it is.

So they also lean really close to your face just to say something at normal volume. It's endearing, at least. Well, at least they give the best hugs. (Other than Hermes, but that's Hermes for you)

The favorite love language to you is gift giving! They love giving you anything that reminded them of you throughout the day. Stuff like rocks shaped like a heart, or a beer can tab that was the color of your eyes maybe. Unconventional little things that F.F. gives to you so you know that they think of you at every moment.

There's just something about F.F. that brings out that childish side of you more often. They're just such a comforting presence, even with all of their questions and curiosity.

They definitely go frog-watching with you. And hiking with you. F.F. loves being active with you. Instead of relaxing activities, F.F. prefers things like hiking, or going swimming, or going out and doing something. They just can't sit still for the life of them.

They think your taste in music is so interesting. They didn't listen to a lot of music, so their own music taste was developed solely by you. So now the two you can go just jam to music together.

F.F. doesn't really notice style all that much, but they definitely compliment you a lot more when you're wearing your cottagecore outfits. They don't even realize it themselves, but they think you're so much cuter in them, not that they don't like your other styles either.

Honorary mentions! Hermes Costello she thinks you're so hot. Like so damn hot. If F.F. hadn't gotten to you first, she would have wined and dined you like she believes you deserve (which you do, let's be honest) Weather Report He's very quiet, so it's not likely you ever would've noticed his attraction to you if you don't know him very well. Alas, his hesitance to confess to you got you stolen by another lucky soul.

You two have such a beautiful relationship. You really match each other's freak for real.

But now you're back in America. Home sweet home. And there's a bunch of racers who want you.

Sucks for them, though, because

Hot Pants

is the one who got you

(I couldn't find a better one so shh)

Immediately, your interest in religious studies is what draws Hot pants to you. Admittedly, when she first meets you, she hopes to redeem herself in the eyes of God with you.

It's when she begins spending more time with you that she starts to understand that her feelings are changing. You have become something more to her.

She admires how dedicated you are to learning more about everything you can. How easily you just exist.

You are everything human. You are everything that is beautiful within the world, and it took so long for her to find you.

She lets you ride Gets Up to help you feel better if you're not feeling too good. You've shared with her your love for horses before, and she doesn't mind letting you ride her beloved horse if it'll make you feel better.

She loves holding your hands. There's something so grounding about it, it keeps her tethered to the present when she's feeling maybe not too present normally.

Hot Pants is usually pretty quiet, so she loves listening to you ramble about anything and everything you want to. It's a bit different from F.F. though, because she won't offer anything else to say, only acknowledgements that she's learning. She'd prefer hearing you talk over a real conversation. If she doesn't have anything to add, she won't say anything, usually.

When you joke about your trauma, she feels a bit uncomfortable. Not because she finds your joke unfunny or anything like that, she really just hates that someone as sweet as you ever had to go through something like that. She is happy that you at least feel comfortable with yourself enough to joke about it now, though.

Honorable mentions! Diego Brando He thinks the same of you that Hot Pants does, you're the beauty in the world that he never got to see when his mother was still alive. He knows you would've helped her in a heart beat. Unfortunately, he's a little too short-tempered. Gyro Zeppeli He thinks you're so fun! You would've had so much fun with him! It's just a shame he's a little too...much, sometimes. He's a lot. He really is. (love him tho)

I hope you liked it! I had so much fun with this one! Many characters I got the pleasure of studying into a little bit more!

[zobstazoon]

i had this thought in the shower so if it's inaccurate ummmm 🙌 but basically what ur fave pokemon swsh character says about you (to me)

milo: you probably like cottagecore or smth and/or youre just really nice and understanding. you want him to pick you up and launch you into the sun like the dynamax pokeball (and then hug you)

-

nessa: youre very chill but competitive and know a Hot Lady when you see one. possibly wlw?? also you will brutally murder whoever even attempts to whitewash her and any other poc characters (myself included)

-

kabu: HELLO DILF_LOVER69. Fr though you're cool and probably give good advice (when its genuine not encouraging your friends to rob the local gas station) you probably think hes hotter now then he was when he was younger but theyre both hot to you

-

allister: he is your cute little onglydoople and you will protect him with your life. you probably have anxiety and either rarely cry or cry over the one scene in cast away (looking at you @/zoochi)

-

bea: spicy chip lover. idk why you just have the vibe and you probably dress more edgy then you actually are (still kinda intimidating but you're very nice)

-

opal: this is a tough one umm. i get 'will listen to someone go off about something you didn't even know about and respond with "oh dear" vibes. also uses emojis like "🤣" unironically frequently (either that or you just enjoy pastels/fairy types idk LOL)

-

melony: MILF_LOVER69. as a wise friend said: world cold and hard, titty soft and warm. you're very sweet but will go fucking apeshit (affectionate) and probably really like cats idk (especially fluffy ones)

-

gordie: gonna be honest i have no idea bc ive only played shield but youre probably a little bit of a cryptid as in you'll disappear for like a week online only to reemerge by just sending shit like "calling among us imposter iphone at 3am (he answered!)" at 8 pm. no one really questions it though bc you're cool

-

piers: either very horny or very ace no in-between. you also really like tired twinks (@zoochi you again x) and/or punks. fr though i think you're very cool and passionate. even if your fav is considered "basic" hes popular for a reason babey

-

raihan: (definitely not describing me for this one LOL /s) you enjoy himbo jocks with no brain cells and are definitely gay. you would like him to kick and/or kiss you because he is 6'8" (and soooo hot ok sorry)

-

leon: another dumbass enjoyer just a different breed and perhaps slightly less bonkers. you also are an admirer of his massive grade a chest

-

hop: golden retriever boy!! fr but are you ok champ things will be ok i promise

-

bede: how's the mommy/daddy issues bestie 😿 you also probably did not like him at first but he grew on you like a tumor #characterdevelopment

[where-s-all-blue]

More University Headcanons!

Straw Hat Pirates Edition

Luffy

He's studying to become a photographer because he looked up to Roger, who himself was a professional photographer during the time he was alive.

Another reason for this is the fact that photographers get to see a lot of things their life, sometimes even danger, it's like an adventure.

Like most of his friends, he resides in Gold dorm and has done his fair share of stealing furniture for it.

He keeps a diary which he decorates with cute stickers and Polaroids.

He has a good eye, which helps him with setting the camera in just right way to get the perfect shot.

He's one of the louder residents which often makes people who need the silence to concentrate, like Law, go absolutely bonkers.

He's banned from the kitchen.

He keeps dragging people into the dorm.

Somehow? You just can't hate him.

Zoro

Decided to study social work when he realised how unfair the world could be.

Is also in the kendo club which he joined upon learning that the person who is seen as the best is its captain, he intends to best him.

Currently he supports one hundred and fifty-one wins and one loss.

The only loss was against Mihawk.

He's naturally good when it comes to dealing with people, but he truly shines when he's around kids.

He's often helping around the dorm by moving large objects in/out.

He was the one to clear the large area which later on came to support the workout area and the garden.

He often takes strolls on the woods located behind the dorm, he's easily the scariest being there.

His sense of direction is so bad that he was given his own device which tells him his location and how to get to the place he wants to go to. This device was made by Eustass and Usopp with Law telling them to turn it into a wrist watch which also measures Zoro's vitals so he can monitor his own health and sport related achievements. The data of his vital signs is transferred into his phone.

Usopp

He majors in engineering and thrives when it comes to inventions, his secondary is English literature.

He writes plays and stories on his spare time, some of them are pitched to the theatre club and art majors.

He's good at crafting and thus is often seen working on something for the dorm like name signs that all match the personalities of the residents.

He was the one who thought of turning the street sign poles into a fence around the dorm's garden.

He's also in charge of modifying the stolen property to ensure that nobody realises where they originally came from.

He was the one who turned that one car into a bed after he moved it inside in pieces. The car bed is in a room called "Silence Room" which was made to have no sounds get in or out of it. He and Killer designed the interior of it to help those who have hyper senses and are more proun to headaches (or just can't stand being around people too long). It's also used as a guest room from time to time.

He works the best with people who are smart like Sanji, Law and Eustass, he also gets very well along Chopper, the therapy dog that goes around the campus.

He's free spirited goof ball with very wide interests who gets along with almost everybody.

Being the jokester of the lot is his attempt to have people think of him as a good guy to be around with and to see that he's not just brain.

He struggles with seeing his own self worth and is very proun to feeling melancholic due to his high Intel making him realise things that he'd rather not know of. He has a low self-esteem because of being dismissed as a child due to his dreams and goals being too ahead of his time.

Sanji

Culinary arts and management major.

He was raised in a foster home, more specifically by the owner of the Baratier restaurant Zeff who he considers to be his dad more than his biological father.

He was kicked out of the Vinsmoke estate by his father Judge due to his wish to be a chef instead of becoming a lawyer or a doctor or a politician.

Technically he's still eligible of inheriting the throne of Germa Kingdom even if he was exiled.

He's still expected to marry a high class member of the society and thus Judge keeps messaging him about his choices, fully believing that Sanji will one day see his way and abandon his dream of being a chef in favour of the kingdom.

He even has a fiancé, Charlotte Pudding, though he never agreed to the scheme that was orchestrated by Vinsmoke Judge and Charlotte Linlin. Pudding also isn't too happy about the situation.

His foster father is the actual lecturer in charge of the culinary studies, but as he was in an accident and thus hospitalised, Charlotte Linlin is subbing him much to Sanji's demise.

He's one of the few people who who can cook in the dorm and he takes notice of other people's likes, dislikes and allergies.

Sanji's kindness is often noticed by others.

Nami

She's a architecture major, her second interest being banking.

When she moved into the dorm, she quickly noticed that the students who renovated it had no idea how things worked, so she had them redo few things. The dorm is now a lot easier to keep warm during the winter.

She was the one to pitch the idea of the Silent Room upon noticing how Law was struggling because of how loud the dorm had become as a result of the new first years moving in.

She works part time as a waitress at Baratier and she is known for her ability to negotiate the costs a lot lower that they usually would be.

She's a bit of a kleptomaniac, result of her growing up on a poor and unsafe area dictated by gangs.

She's also a honours student, who's part of the special program which basically ensures that she has enough money to buy her school items and food.

She often chats with the local witch coven to obtain more information, she also likes to hangout with Killer and Usopp.

Her best friend Vivi Nefertari is currently in an exchange program.

Chopper

A golden retriever akita mix.

He was originally Sabo's therapy dog, nowadays he's more or less the therapy dog of anyone who needs him. He still sticks by Sabo for the most of the time.

He's broken into the classrooms during lectures to deliver forgotten items to Sabo so often that he has his own attendance record and he's almost considered to be a student at this point.

His job includes going to the local pharmacy every Friday to pick up a specifically constructed herbal infusion packet and bring it to the Lair.

He's highly intelligent dog who was capable of deducing which herbs were part of the herbal infusion treatment and then retrieve the plants based on their scent.

He picked these herbs and spices from the garden of Gold Dorm.

His bestfriend is Bepo, a samoyed owned by Law, who also happens to be the only other dog on the campus.

Robin

Social Work major, secondary studies in history.

She chose her line of studies due to wanting to prevent other kids being forced to go through the same kind of neglect and abuse as she did.

She's fluent in multiple languages and writes her notes in one of the dead languages, which she self taught herself to read.

She prefers to keep her information confidential and she enjoys the confusion some of her antics cause.

She takes part in the weekly movie night and enjoys them greatly.

Franky

Robotics major.

The only member of the group who doesn't live in a dorm. Nobody knows if he even sleeps or eats, but if you need him, you can always find him form the workshop.

You need to drag him out forcibly to have him even leave the room.

Thanks to Luffy, he now visits the Gold dorm few times a week to hangout, but the second he sees something that gives him an idea, he bolts out back to the workshop.

100% workaholic, 0% sleep, 120% Cola.

Brook

Actual university cryptid.

Is literally dead and walking around.

Formerly a music major.

Nobody knows how long he's been there and frankly nobody cares, his flamboyant style is a mood and his cravings for food and drinks is something we all relate to.

He knows every nook and cranny of the campus.

He's been there so long that nobody even questions it and he even gets invited to university parties and to hang out.

The only time someone freaked out was when the group went to a fast food restaurant and forgot that the outside world isn't aware of him. He tipped the waiter generously with something that looked like an old coin. It was probably worth more than the whole restaurant.

If you talk to him, there's 80% chance of you triggering his natural response to anything which is singing and dancing.

He's literally a walking musical.

He's one of the few who has heard Katakuri's doughnut song and lived to tell the tale. Except that he's dead already yohohoho.

He's very likely to console you if you're not feeling okay.

When it comes to the modern technology and stuff, he's a bit confused, but has the right spirit.

Jinbe

The current captain of the karate club.

Nobody knows what he majors in nor from which dorm he's from.

When Shirahoshi from Atlantis (=Fishman Island) started her studies in the University, he was quick to form a protection team to her and her brothers from the members of the karate club.

He might be the instructor of the club? Apparently he's one of the strongest.

I woke up one morning and he was eating soba noodles in the kitchen, why and how is he in our dorm. Is he even a student here?!

Oh my god he's now fighting against Ace, I swear to god sport majors are so dramatic.

It was a tie. How am I supposed to feel about this.

They both are now emptying our fridge, someone please get them out.

[growing-yet-into-magic]

Hi! I’m looking into local magic, and while it’s difficult to find lore on “x creek” or “y forest,” I’m trying to find information on the Great Lakes/US Midwest area, as well as things like river magic and forest magic in general. I just don’t know how to look into things without getting so specific that there’s no info or too vague that there’s too much info. Is there anything in your library that can help? Thank you!

Unfortunately, there’s not many things in my library that will help for your area! The majority of stuff I have is for the East coast, since I live here haha

What I would recommend for you instead is to start with more generalized books such as the style of witchcraft you’re interested in (ie, do you like more contemporary styles of witchcraft, or more traditional?). If you’re starting from nothing, I can recommend one or two basics, but if you’re beginning to branch out, you might like looking into animism and low-grade levels of spirit work, as well as elemental witchcraft. Get in tune with nature. Then you can supplement that with books that have meaning to the local ecosystem. Bird watching books. Plant and tree recognition books. Farmer’s Almanac. Local cryptids, even if you don’t believe in them as spirits, tell you a lot about the lay of the land. Look up a book of superstition about your state or town. Almost every place has one, and if not, the neighboring place definitely has one.

I can at least say that I’ve touched on Water Witchcraft by Annwyn Avalon, which is probably close to what you’re looking for with a Celtic twist, but I can’t think of anything I would actually recommend without knowing your level of comfort with spellwork. Maybe a Starhawk’s Earth Magic? Maybe? Borrow a copy from the library and see if you like it.

Instead, of recommending books about places I’ve never been, which would be doing you a real disservice, I’m going to challenge you to go into your local library, look the librarian dead in the eye, and say “please tell me about the local superstition and history books we have about this town/state, please.” And they will probably show you the shelf that has all of the local books on it; if not, they’ll tell you what’s in their system and let you place a hold on them. Seriously, ring up a librarian, and they’ll get you all the local stuff that’s available even if the building is still closed. Local libraries are the powerhouses of local history, folklore, and culture. If you’re extremely talented and incredibly smart, unlike me who hates being smart and using logic, you can also look into the culture of the people who settled your area, and see if you can find influence from their culture in the surviving superstition and folklore. Like, unless you’re in a Native-run community, the people living there came from somewhere.

So, I couldn’t provide you with more specific books to your area, but, while googling myths about the great lakes, I did find a Great Lakes Myth Society, which is actually a band that is real and can be listened to on Youtube. Also, please rest assured, that no matter where you live in this absolutely bonkers country, you can always google “Weird” and the name of your state, and find a book all about the most bizarre, liminal things that can be found there.

Good luck!

[drferox]

Fantasy Biology - Jackalope

The, uh, 'noble' Jackalope (is noble the right word?) is an absolute hoax originating with creative taxidermy, but for today's exercise let's pretend it's not.

The cryptid is described as having the body of a large rabbit or hare, and antlers from a deer. Explaining these antlers away as being horny growths induced by a papilomavirus is too mundane for this series, and in any case there are a number of other fascinating features that Jackalopes are said to have, including:

Antlers

Excellent mimicry of human voices, including singing.

A taste for whiskey, smores and possibly Harvey Davidson motoroil

Aphrodisiac milk

Breeding during lightning strikes

Which is just a weird, disparate mix of traits that is just begging for a single coherent explanation. So let's start with the obvious - the antlers can't be antlers. There are multiple different types of 'horns' we find in the animal kingdom, particularly on our herbivores. True horns, as in cattle, have a core of bone. Creatures like rhinoceros have horns that do not have a bony core and instead are just continually growing keratin. Antlers have a bone core, but are shed each year and regrown.

I suppose you could use any of these types of horns on a Jackalope, but I'm not going tom because I think of things that are worse.

Ever heard of a Babirusa?

Look at this delightful face. Look at these shiny, white protuberances from its head which are not actually horns, they're teeth. And you know, rabbits are a group known for their continually growing teeth, you could have a Jackalope that, instead of boring antlers, has a pair of continually growing teeth from its upper jaw that turned around and erupted through the skin like the Babirusa. I think that's an elegant solution to create a 'horned rabbit' without actually needing to tweak the biology too much.

But that's not what I'm choosing to run with either.

I'm leaning towards 'horns' that are actually honeycomb-like structures transporting electosensory receptors, like the bill of a platypus or beak of an echidna.

Why? Because if these creatures are running around with electroreceptors above their head, it provides a reasonable explanation for why they might go bonkers when there's a thunderstorm. Electrosensory organs on your head in the middle of an electrical storm? You'd be exhibiting some weird and erratic behavior too. It's not necessarily some courtship ritual, but sensory overload in a creature built to jump and run.

That may also be why they seem to have a liking for motor oil and whiskey, not to drink it, but because it feels good on their electrosensory receptors, either enhancing or dulling sensation, not unlike humans partake in different types of recreational drugs.

And the liking smores is just a sensible choice for any species.

So what are these electosensory organs for?

Well, about now we should be asking ourselves - what does a Jackalope eat? Is it a herbivore like our friend the rabbit, or does it have a carnivorous lean?

A pair of electrosensory organs on your head have to be there for a reason. That's a biologically expensive organ to maintain if you're not using it for something. So what other living thing would a Jackalope be trying to detect where vision and hearing are inadequate? Some mysterious cryptid able to fly as silently as an owl at night? Some invisible miasma? What's the rest of the Jackalope ecology? What’s a Mothman

Or perhaps, this is a means to identify each other in the dark.

The Jackalope is said to be an excellent mimic, with a particularly nice singing voice, attracted to campfire songs. Perhaps, like the lyrebirds who flirt by collecting unusual sounds, Jackalope courtship also includes a sound display of unique and unusual sounds that they have learned, and oh boy don't drunk cowboys around a campfire make some unusual sounds.

I mean, it's either that or they're learning the sounds of their prey to lure them  away into distant caves and abandoned mine shafts. Faint cries of help, distorted by echoes, asking where you are... cries of distress or exclamations of curiosity from any suitable local prey species.

And to distinguish between actual potential prey, or another Jackalope, they use their electrosensory organs, enhanced by the increased damp and controlled humidity of these underground tunnels.

As for their supposed aphrodisiac properties of their milk, if you'd found and successfully milked one, you'd probably be feeling pretty high on life too.

So in conclusion, our Jackalope looks like it should be a herbivore, but has some suspiciously carnivorous habits, and maybe if you think you hear somebody in distress, in the dark, in Jackalope territory you should ask them for some very specific grammar or syntax.

So with that delightful thought, and more questions than answers with this enigmatic cryptid, consider the following variants:

Hollow horns: These Jackalope horns are hollow, resulting in haunting sounds when the wind blows across them, like blowing across the surface of a glass bottle. Gathered Jackalopes of different ages in a gentle breeze make for quite the haunting cacophony.

Teeth: This Jackalope variant has Babirusa-style teeth growing through its head rather than horns. It has no sensory organ within these teeth, and males use them for fighting. Females lack this ornamentation but may be distinguished from a normal rabbit by large fangs from the lower jaw.

Arctic: White and so, so fluffy in the winter, the black horns of these Jackalope resemble leafless branches when above ground, but they do most of their hunting from tunnels below the snow, abruptly launching up when they detect unsuspecting prey above.

This species was nominated by my wonderful Patreon supporters, who also get to vote on future topics and get sneak peeks from just $1 a month.

[videoreligion]

Silent Night, Deadly Night IV: Initiation (1990)

“It's way past time we change up the “holiday” season. It's really gone to shit under its current management style. How could it work? They just kind of plopped that Jesus shit on top of someone else's seasonally appropriate celebration, leaving us with a broken mass of morals, judgment, and fictional bullshit. Half of the correlations make absolutely no sense or just straight up contradict. It's been a long fucking time since Pope Julius and the Catholic church slapped their messiah’s birthday on the ancient celebration. Obviously, I wasn't there to know for sure, but I want to think that's when it all started getting really bad. During the cultural rebranding ( probably not for evil reasons), the church did its best to mix saints and values into the random pieces of local flavor it could live with, creating some kind of a mash of magic, uppity god-monsters and special meal times. There's a lot going on in the lore of the holidays, and nearly all of it is fucking bonkers or just a straight-up motivated lie. In my yearly confusion, I'm left with a never-ending stream of questions. What does the portly “Santa” cryptid have to do with the demi-god super baby? Why are both these supposedly divine creatures involved in some kind of plot to publicly tie a parents’ economic status to how good their child was? Why does it have to be December to get anything with peppermint flavoring? Honestly, regardless of the answer to these questions, It's pretty fucking lame, and It's time for a change. For one, let's just dump all the current icons, they're a bulk of the problem. They have all kinds of baggage and contrived origins. I have a few ideas about who (or what) we can use instead, but, really, the possibilities are endless. I'm just spitballing here, but what about Star Trek captains? It's kind of the same thing, as they’re obviously fictional characters that embody some kind of ideal. I haven't even seen anything past The Next Generation, but I'm pretty sure they would altogether make a more cohesive and helpful whole than whatever the fuck we have now. And that’s just one idea. If, maybe, you would miss the mystic chaos of it all, we could go with bugs and witches like in Initiation: Silent Night, Deadly Night 4 (1990)...” - RevTerry

Read The Full Review

[jaffre]

spoiler thoughts about the sonic movie under cut

1/ idk much about sonic lore but i dont doubt that longclaw is part of it, somewhere? I'd believe it if you told me

2/ I adore him being made into a local cryptid, amazing

3/ the plot is kick-started by him having a breakdown??? poor bby I want to hug him

4/ eggman is as bonkers as I'd expected and more, really enjoyed all his scenes, also im sorry to say but agent stone is definitely gay for eggman and into humiliation to put up with him, that's the vibes I got (when he tells him to get up against the wall and he complies and puts his own hand in his chest?? Don't tell me that's not kinky my dudes) (eggman can punch me in the guts anytime)

5/ sonic is babie and I love that by the end the family has basically adopted him. he deserves it, he's been all alone for so long... ;;

6/ I think they handled pop culture references relatively well? I mean, it is cheesy but it didn't feel too forced just for the humor.

7/ when I said it was a very American movie, I mean that the plot is pretty simple with a very centered emotional core, which is valid. It's a safe choice to translate this icon onto the big screen, especially with the track record of video games movie adaptations. That being said, I am hoping that if(when) they make sequels, they're going to go off the rails, with eggman on the mushroom planet with the sonic quill, and tails showing up at the end, I think there's potential for wacky stories

That's all I have for now, I really enjoyed it!! I think it's a success, and a good entertaining movie