#this isnt even my country playlist

[sga-owns-my-soul]

Shuffle your favourite playlist and post the first five songs that come up and tag five people!

thank you @stargayatlantis for the open tag!

1- Whiskey Lullaby (ft. Alison Krauss) by Brad Paisley

2- Clock Don't Stop by Carrie Underwood

3- Same Old Country Love Song by Brian Falduto (my BELOVED)

4- New Normal by Cooper Alan

5- Good Lookin' by Dixon Dallas

i'm also doing an open tag bc i'm lazy lmao so if you see this and want to do it consider yourself tagged!

[batfambrainrotbeloved]

PLEASE 🙏🙏🙏🙏 YOUR DSB PLAYLIST!!! I keep seeing u talk about it and you have BANGERS on that pl

I think I have shared it before but back when I was only on like chapter 2 so its been buried and has changed ALOT- But here you go!!

Full list (and notes)

Oh No! (Tims "Grand plan")

Flight of the Crows (Running away from what he loves, of course)

Nobody (Self imposed curse of isolation)

Colors (Yes. (also just a fav tim song regardless of AU)

United in grief ( Acting as Timothy Drake)

Teen Idle (Mourning his youth, for a second time)

Gasoline (Tim breakdown in luxury vibes)

I cant fix you (I still religiously listen to fnaf fan songs, this one just fits)

Brother (MY COUNTRY ASS SNUCK IN- It doesnt even relate to the AU, I just love the vibe- if anything it fitd Dick towards Jason but thats besides the point)

Passing through (cant the future just wait) (Times running out)

Are you Satisfied? (Literally perfect song about his situation)

Look who's inside again (Again, Isolation)

Coffee (Internal struggle- but the caffine isnt the problem)

Digital Silence (Again, just in here for the vibes)

Over & Over (AMAZING imagining song, like a little movie)

Problems (Tim to Jason)

Oh Ana (Not even kidding, THE MOVIE song- (from breathing as tim bleeds out to the The Angel I couldnt kill just AHH)

Rat (Just a vibe)

Lotta True Crime (Not for Tim actually, but related)

Misery Meat (Mans is the rainbow fish)

Feel Better (Y E A H- No explination needed)

Arms Tonight (This but literally, though he wont admit it)

The Burning pile (Tim ignoring his problems for the "greater good")

Family Jewels (The Drakes.)

Devil Town (Life in Gotham, reminishing his Time as Robin w/ his old fam)

Hermit the Frog (Another "just a vibe")

Michelle (Not for Tim, but relevent :)

Girls (The horror in being Timothy)

Saint Bernard (THIS- THIS THIS THIS (literally so mmmm lore))(might make a PMV when the fic is finished just for THIS!!)

Washing Machine Heart (A vibe.)

The Bidding (Timothy but less ironically)

Seventeen (Tim and Timothy- also just "seventeen" when he died s o)

Cupid (He still loves them...)

Hidden in the sand (Memories.)

dumb dumb (Tim pulling off his shit, mostly Cardinal)

American Healthcare (glitzy) (Tim in his career)

Treehouse (STAY OFF MY LAWN!!!)

Worlds greatest actor (Rec by @ihavenotsleptindays my dear, and its perfect. Tim as Timothy, or are they one in the same??)

Rule #34 (Not for Tim, but TOO him :)

Harpy Hare (Im obsessed okay?)

Prom Queen (Beautiful tragedy all the people envy)

No place like home (Not what it seems)

Again & Again (Another "movie in my mind") song

Labryinth (Movie mind!! Lots of lore and distortion lol)

Youth (Tim being self aware, for once)

Just one Yesterday (YES YES YES YES)

Angry too (Just a vibe.)

Pompeii (He misses what things can never again be)

spy? (Two face.)

Lullaby of the False Hydra ( Once again, im obsessed but for diff reasons)

Sweet Hibuscus tea (GAHHH)

Lights out (Hype song- and Cardinal BAMF)

Nothings New (Tim repeating his whole life and yet failing all over again)

Little Lion man (He wasnt really doomed wasnt he?)

Guilded Lily (The awnser is no, its never enough)

Underground (Once again, Gotham.)

Cast the Bronze (More a canon Jason song actually, but I still adore)

Could Have been me (Not Tim :)

Savior (Duet- but with who??)

Take me home, country roads (The country got me again. And yeah Tim longing for home he lost)

[surr3al1sm]

You ever listening to songs that happen to be in Just Dance and the Just Dance map just starts playing in your head?

Honestly, this has elevated so many songs for me and I wanna know if you relate.

Yes- 100% I relate to that. Happens almost every single time I listen to a song thats in JD lol. Really adds to the listening experience imo- Honestly most of the time it isnt even music that just so happens to be in Just Dance- They were added to my playlist because of Just dance lol.

With some songs I take it up a step even, especially when like studying or out on a walk out by the country, I pull out like small versions of the choreo. Like jam along with my hands n stuff.

[notyouraryang0dd3ss]

Thank you for creating this account, you are so brave.

Prefacing: I used to tolerate TS and her music when I was a teen and couldn't really avoid it. Now I'm 25 and I find her abhorrent as a human being.

(I'm not American and where I am from TS was never a Big Hit, unless we're talking 14 year old girls that eventually grow out of liking her. It's not entirely for a good reason, my country's a bit too conservative-brainwashed to like a self-proclained "girl boss" on a gov. level.)

Something that I noticed about that cult-like worship of that frankly boring woman is that most of the interesting shit about her is 1. made up 2. not about her music and I DO NOT understand how this is even considered a singer anymore.

Like, for example. A bunch of liberal queers like her because they take her bland music and fill it with their own meanings. Her lyrics are so soulless and boring and generic you can apply them to anything. You don't have to go listen to staples of quuer music like what drag queens, or queer women, or Black gay men create: because their music is visceral, it speaks onto real lived through opression that not everyone can relate to. But not with fucking TS! She writes the most TYPICAL line and a bunch of people assign some secret gay meaning to it. The amount of times I saw TS added to playlists for queer content is ridiculous. Like she wouldn't be half as popular if her music was regarded as what it is: straight white girl soliloquy.

The shit about her love life? Should not be fucking mentioned in regards to her as an artist. She's SO fucking fake. She will complain that people only see her as some girl who dates all those guys but she's the one fucking monetizing her love story. I'd understand if she didnt TRY TO but she fucking does! She knows she's bland and boring and she relies on people liking gossip enough to listen to her crap.

ok quick note when you said “liberal queers” it should be “queer liberals”. im assuming english isnt your first language so your native tongue has different grammatical rules but in this instance you put “queer” in front of “liberal.” i just don’t want you to be accused of being homophobic or anything so this is a quick note for you

you said you were 25 and everyone who’s been following this blog has been 20+ demographic in particular. i think it must be because we’re old enough to remember her entire journey starting w the 2009 kanye west mtv incident up until this moment. her staunchest swifties on here were born after the fearless release 💀

hmmmm i always wonder what people imply by Taylor Swift being a global superstar. like she’s isn’t popular in the entire continent of Africa but that doesn’t count apparently? and as much as she is popular in south asia, so much news is framed with a western perspective and all westerners think whiteness is default, and this includes taylor swift. i wouldnt be surprised if theyre inflating her popularity abroad as they are here in the states. idk

and so true! she’s known for her controversies and dating drama. even her music is known not for its success but ppl questioning the legitimacy of her grammys she’s received for her music.

also your gaylor hate—i understand. im not straight and i think gaylors were lobotomized by taylor swift’s music like genuinely these bitches have bricks for brains. there are soooooooo many better queer musicians especially musicians of color who write songs of their literal shared experience of queer love, identity, etc. but here they go theorizing that taylor seift and karlie kloss secretly dated 😭 it reminds me of this convo i had with my friend about gay people admiring/looking up to straight and cis people and labelling them as “gay icons.” its so stupid and reductive and continues to marginalize actual queer artists.

also talking abt taylor swift playlists i will never forget when i found spotify’s bad bunny x taylor swift playlist inspired by their photo from the 2023 grammys 💀 it was so dumb

“straight white girl soliloquy” PERIOD ANON! i need to start making a list of what you guys say cause its fkn fire

taylor swift embedded her relationships so deeply into her brand and music that its inseparable from herself. she really does define herself by her partners and her fans do too, which is why they expected this to be a joe alwyn album.

she really is so unoriginal and unremarkable and that’s why her thing WORKS. because to swifties she’s like “another everyday girl like you and me :)” 🙄 whatever. yuck!

[termagax]

i like all the songs on my fishhook playlists but its the ones that are hog songs that really drive me crazy. small insight into the mind of my insane wife and then i go into the corner and throw up on the ground. ohhhhh my god what if YOU PERSONALLY CAUSED THE APOCALYPSE and everyghing and everyone you ever knew was just ruined and it was you your faultyou did that. and then you drove like 6 hours in a direction and the rest of the world was just. fine. untouched even. and they just decided to leave you guys to it. youre watching people kill each other for clean water and everyone else in your country and the world at large just went well thats none of our business you guys seem scary. i would also start killing people im not even gonna lie. this isnt even about music anymore im just talking about my guy but yeah i think id go insane.

[kalopseance]

im a little nervous for her, honestly. shes not one of the most popular ones i have, so i fear deeply for her. hpwever.

dont you motherfuckers like detectives

if so, vote for my beloved embry in the oc round of @transfemswagbracket ... assuming i submit her in time LOL p.s theres a typo above lol. shes actually 145cm, not 155cm. even shorter. tiny.

A famous detective in the kingdom of Valenstein, Embry Ward is both a respected yet distrusted figure. She's been known to solve some of the most complex mysteries throughout the entire country; making her into quite the celebrity. However, her goals and actions can often seem very contradictory to the values you would assume a detective to hold. Embry exclusively investigates cases that peak her personal interest, and enjoys the thrill of investigation as a game and a way to test her intelligence. She refuses to cooperate with any sort of organization, even those that have offered her enormous rewards in exchange for working with them. Because of this, Embry is both respected and widely admired, but also acts as a nuisance to those who would be happier if their crimes weren't investigated. She makes a living through investigative journalism and report writing. Though she lives in her little studio and gets by independently, she actually does come from quite a high-class, wealthy family. When she was young, however, she was treated as an outsider and shunned for her supposed inability to behave and act like a 'normal' child, unable to express empathy or be 'obedient'. Out of her large number of siblings, she was close to the oldest, her brother Archer. It was when Archer and Embry had a fight many years ago that Embry lost trust in the only member of her family who she loved, and unable to cope, she ran away and started living on her own when she was barely thirteen. Years later, after becoming a respected and famed detective, the case of the Valenstein Killer, a violent vigilante, catches her eye. This, combined with hearing the news of the supposed disappearance of her older brother Archer, Embry is inspired to track down both the Valenstein Killer and the brother she used to love, figuring out the connection between the two cases. As she investigates further, she finds a new thread to follow - her brother's strange obsession with protecting the Valenstein Killer. She has a great love of sweets and sugary things. She hides this in an attempt to seem more mature. Likewise, she's often mocked for her small height, and she worries about being treated like a child. She wears glasses despite having perfect vision, purely for the sake of looking more intelligent. Later down the line, Embry Ward is further caught up in the mysteries and events surrounding the Valenstein Killer, and she finds herself confronting a reclusive cult known as The Sanctuary. Here, she meets an odd green-haired human girl who belongs to this cult. Despite the difference in ideals and philosophies, Embry finds herself fascinated by this girl...

shes genuinely an asshole but manages to be the most morally upstanding person in her group. though the 'most morally upstanding' isnt like, a high standard when shes surrounded by Murderboy And Friends. shes stubborn, stuckup, prideful, arrogant, untrusting, but she still has her own morals and a very justified dislike of authority and the corruption she sees. admittedly, if the question is whether or not she has 'swag', thats questionable. does she? shes pretty fucking cool honestly shes incredibly confident and intelligent and self-assured but shes also kind of a loser.

sometimes shes furry

this is her playlist lol.

'I DONT TRUST U ANYMORE', 'everything costs', 'pioneer spine', 'freedom, pt. 1', 'ghost town' all fit her very well. Actually like her whole playlist is very fitting

posts which is really really embrycore:

[doctorjohcoy]

dude ill say it just fine. i hate that kind of white people music. i think it is so sucks. im a hater. get better taste in music. listen to people who can actually sing. listen to someone that isnt white. this is something everyone else says all the time but im gonna say it cuz i also listen to some of that type of music and its fine, but also its mediocre and im rolling my eyes sooo hard whenever mediocre yt music gets put into every. single. playlist. ever. and no im not saying you should mope that i think your music taste is lame, but im saying get some variety in your life. listen to songs from other languages and countries even, on your own time. meditate on a genre youve never heard before. you bitches make me wanna bash my head on a wall and go immerse myself in 90s rnb for a week. i dont care if you only listen to top ten hits or whatever now, this isnt about being queer or a teen/20 something year old neither, its about me being annoyed how blinded by ur own whiteness people are . gotta b so fucking annoying in every genre

[speltfields]

NO WAAAYYY YOUR NEW WIP 😭😭😭😭 YOURE TRYING TO KILL US !!!!!

and about music he listens to it's so hard for me to decide some genre i've listened to all the shane playlists on spotify and i can't decide

what about you????

-🫶 anon

ok so first off to my non stardew followars (sorry) im gonna start tagging everything with #sdv posting so u can blaclklist. love u

answer under the readmore to save u all from the harmful psychic rays of my thoughts

i habe been thinking about the answer to this question for SOOOO LONGGGGG because i feel this has layers like here's all the different factors I have to consider

[and willfully ignore because hes my wet pathetic doll i can do whatever i want with]

1. stardew takes place in like the 80's yeah? 🤔🤔🤔 i ignore this one most of the time. giving them cellphones is funny. its the 2020s they all just have bad cell service and dial up still

2. emilys 8 heart event shane dresses like a punk. Dude gives off "i wanted to be a goth in middle school but couldnt afford tripp pants from the mall but now im an adult and too lazy to try" vibes. maybe his music taste reflects this

3. Umm he's "old" Lol (affectionate) I see him like late 30's early 40's...

4. But is he like COOL old or THINKS hes cool old (important distinction you have surely been around both types of men before and know the difference)

these are all of the factors i have to consider when choosing what music he would listen to.. the like "game takes place during the 80s" thing is the rule i play fast and loose. I only care about it if its funny contextually. usually its funnier if its not the case. Anyways onto the actual headcanons

I think shane would have pretty bad taste in music but once u are friends with him he's open to listening to new stuff and if you show him something new he hadn't heard before he'd say "Huh you're kind of weird aren't you 😏" making fun of you for it but secretly he'd think it was good/ he is def open to listening to new stuff. He secretly does like old school country as well. Noone knows this. You discover john denver/johnny cash cds buried under his bed (he listens to them to feel cool)

I think he would believe he had an eccentric music taste but then you'd go through his collection and its like... weezer. rhcp. maybe some metal. and ur like. This is Dad Rock Radio Tier and he'd be like "WHAT green day isnt dad rock" (i dont believe this yet but id say it to him anyway to make him mad. you understand)

you'd show him some shit like roswell kid and he'd go crazy for it even though its kinda cheesy. also he's randomly into stuff like aphex twin too.

I feel compelled to make him listen to the music i like but i know that that's wishful thinking. he's a dork that's why i like him. i might have to compound on this later when my brain works better (it takes me several weeks to form a single creative thought)

I haven't listened to any shane spotify playlists maybe i should... i do have my own playlist of songs that REMIND me of him but not necessarily stuff i think he'd listen to. I'm too embarrassed to post this 😈

[another-dra-anew]

inori<3

everyones favorite seaweed surgeon!!

cw: (teen) homelessness

My identity hc for them

i honestly dont have much thoughts on her identity? i hc her as ace but thats abt it,, nothing confirmed or canon for her!!!! this section is so short im sorry my girl

Thoughts on their home life/family

girlie doesnt have one of those. uhhhhm.. i think she's very. lives day to day + doesn't think she'll ever have a life outside of work? so i dont think she's really thought about settling down and what she might want for the future. she doesnt know where she wants to live if she wants kids etc etc. she gets v upset if people try and ask her abt it, she doesn't enjoy talking about that.

How i feel about their canonical writing/handling

iiii like it! she's def a character who'll be improved by rewritten posts. but i think liiiike.... while she's maybe not full of all these twists and turns and who saw this coming! she's very... her writing is solid nonetheless? she's just a fifteen year old.

The one thing i’d want to make canon about them

kinda building off whats above. despite the fact she's so incredibly independent like... yall she's Just Young... shes literally a traumatized teenager and she acts like it! this is canon and it shows that this is how things are so this is maybe a cop out but. yeah. for a small little detail that wont really be relevant on canon. she's probably got like.. all those games u see mobile ads for (fishdom gardenscapes) etc like. maxed out she's played all the levels etc. she doesnt have any other hobbies

My number one favorite ship for them

yall sold me on kuronori....

…Now everyone else i ship with them

maki + tomori!!! the kuronorimakitomo polycule is REAL. also i like her with iranami!!!! and im gonna deviate from what i usually say a bit to say that i actually think she could be cute with taira.

The thing i will NEVER ship

shrugs. inori stay winning ig!! she's very shippable!

a dynamic/relationship i wish was explored more (in canon, or in fandom)

i still miss my edgy kids,, but, i dunno! inori + a parent figure ?... i think she should get to bully higa

thoughts on their design (appearance-wise)

hmmmmm... one of the less like. "cute" designs, but i like it! for how like... comfort over style it is (usually i aim for comfort + style, but style isnt even remotely part of her fit) im actually very fond of it. we arent gonna chat about inoris hair tho i kinda wanna change it hmmm

A music-related thought- a song that reminds me of them, or what their music taste is, etc

ya know. she has a playlist but going through it i dont think i want?? to say yes any of these songs are #her... i think inori listens to anything and everything, oddly enough! she'll listen to hyperpop she'll listen to country she'll listen to rock it doesnt matter to her. she likes noise which she can control <3

[wolvierinez]

it kind of bugs me when a character mentions listening to a song or band or whatever so you go on spotify to listen to playlists about them and the song/band ISNT ON THERE even if its just a "vibes" playlist. i get things like this can be missed but my autistic ass needs someone to acknowledge logan listens to shitty country songs or i will destroy everyone

[gribblehusband]

Alright it's currently 2:40 in the night, finally managed to go through the playlist fully and first; fuck dude amazing music, some of them I already knew but most were new too me. Thank you for introducing me to such amazing music I love them.

Banger after banger after banger, amazing.

Second I do have some (a lie, it's a lot) music that I want to know more why their there/ want more information of, for whatever reason;

4æm, rain of blood, DEATHBODY, Alpha desperation march, Hello I love you, fruiting bodies,

run rabbit run, call me little sunshine, bad bad things, MACARON, cemetary girl, bridezilla, saccharine, against pollution, west country dream, choke, cop car, haunt the cartoon heart, am I being followed...?,

Grendel's mother, the fox wedding (when I heard this one my jaw DROPPED, it took me so off guard, but still a banger), guillotine

TURNING INTO THE TBH CREATURE READING THIS ASK YES I WOULD BE MORE THAN HAPPY TO ELABORATE ON THESE SONGS. ELATED EVEN. im glad you enjoyed what was on the playlist though! im well aware my music taste is eclectic and also everywhere at once. i never left my vocaloid phase ever, its simply aged with me. the amount of tmg songs on the playlist is because one of my qpps is REALLY into their music and gave me some recs. some music they recced me isnt on spotify alas.

this is gonna be a long one with A LOT of rambling so im gonna put it under cut.

4æm - this one is one of the songs that are a mix of just vibes and “i have the craziest amv in my head” for it. it makes me think of meeting someone walking down the sidewalk in the dead of night and it changing you irreparably. epic kaon behavior.

rain of blood - another one where its vibes, but specifically post chapter 20. i dont want to spoil what happens but a BIG thing happens for the mcs character development and their view on murder. more like post chapter 25 because i have a few filler chapters planned.

DEATHBODY - this ones a song that makes me think of the mc, specifically surrounding their obsession with dying and being killed that gets kind of worse after an incident sometimes after chapter 25. i have it planned out but not written LOL oops. some lyrics i especially like are “icicles of a medial at unease, please just pull me together and repair me. old thoughts floating above a new horizon. something i’ll never doubt; i know im rotten.” and “all this time, i felt that my time would arrive. that it can’t last forever; i’ve been decaying. moldy scaffolding, ritual strangling. no matter what i try, i seem to stay alive.”

alpha desperation march - this one is definitely early kaon and was added to the playlist when i was writing the early chapters! specifically the lyrics “im coming in. try and stop me. push furniture in front the door. it only gives me something to push against.” and “see im perfectly aware. of where our love stands. but the plain fact is that you owe me eight grand.” make me think of him. especially push furniture in front of the door one because hes always pushing and pushing, whether it be boundaries or literal doors. theres no stopping him when theres something he wants.

hello, i love you - OKAY THIS ONES FUNNY. while this would usually be considered a kaon song because of the obsessive and sugary sweet lyrics and the general i will literally never leave you alone ever-ness of it, i associate it more with vos for reasons unknown. vos, at specifically, his most down bad. he has enough control over himself to not act like this but he is just as stubborn as kaon and is more likely to lock you in a room with him until you talk to him if he really wants your attention. whereas kaon would probably go sulk somewhere. vos is pushy and very intense.

fruiting bodies - another mc song! more specifically a post chapter 20 mc song. theres a lot of imagery with a seed being planted and its roots filling them from the inside out. which is kind of fungal.

run rabbit run - VOS SONG. just a straight up vos song, it reminds me a lot of him. there are a lot of things that make me think of vos, foxes being one of them. is it a little worrying a fox betraying and hunting a rabbit is a vos song? maybe. dont worry about it too much. if he hunts the mc i can promise theyre both a little too into it LMFAO

call me little sunshine - okay so this is a kaon AND vos song. little sunshine is supposed to be lucifer because lucifer means light bringer. basically you will never be alone because you have the two most down bad murderers obsessed with you who will come to your every beck and call (within reason) amen

bad bad things - OKAY I CAN SEE HOW THIS SONG WOULD BE NERVE WRACKING TO RUN INTO. its not a kaon or vos song dw. thats all i will say. the part specifically that ive latched onto in my brain is the “so i looked into your eyes and i saw the reflection or a coward you and i hate very much. and then i grabbed the knife and let the blood out of your throat and smashed those tiny mirrors inside of your skull.” if that means anything

MACARON - mc song. another cannibalism banger on the playlist. they wanna be eaten so bad it makes them look stupid.

cemetary girl - admittedly theres no deeper meaning here i just like the vibes and its fun to write to!

bridezilla - this ones a mc song and their weird little view on what a wedding with kaon and vos would be like. theyre just as absolutely odd as those two. casey would literally black out if he went to their wedding and they tongue kissed the priest. shelby would record it.

saccharine- another vos song. he doesnt want to get so obsessed with the mc but he absolutely does. the similarities between the mc and vos have been touched upon from kaons early pov chapter, but vos sees them as a weaker version of himself. he doesnt want to hurt them (too badly), which is new for him because most people he meets he cant wait to tear them apart. there are a few exceptions to that rule, and the fact a sweet little human is one of them confounds him.

against pollution - a chapter 20 mc song thats all i will say

west country dream - another early chapters kaon song. it was added to the playlist when i first started writing and my qpp read the first few chapter and said. this song makes me think of them. i agreed and the rest is history! onto the playlist it went

choke - okay so am i allowed to just say “vos is into choking” and leave it at that? LMAOLMAO

cop car - another early kaon song that i added. if its the mountain goats my qpp added it but the mitski was my doing. this song just makes me think of how kaon thinks about the mc in the first few chapters!

haunt, the cartoon heart - a kaon song! just his obsessiveness and the adoration for the mc he has later on in the fic. i can see him singing this to them if im being honest and i do entertain myself by imagining it LOL. the end where “i think you scared her” i imagine as vos criticizing his usual heavy handed approach.

am i being followed…? - honestly theres nothing deep her i just like listening to this one while i write and the general vibes of the song! i just really like the artist too HSJSHS

grendel’s mother - this is one i added due to my qpps recommendation and another where i dont have any reasons besides vibes 😭

guillotine - THIS ONES ACTUALLY THE SOMG I LISTENED TO FOR HOURS NONSTOP AS I WROTE CHAPTER 22. so i cant say much other than the title for that chapter will be “the secrets you tell me, i’ll take to my grave. there’s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway.” its a kaon song too.

the fox’s wedding - okay this ones a banger but the lyrics do come at you like a brick to the face. its not as bad as the other songs in the series its in which is saying something. this song is an mc song though. cannibalism? check. horniness? check. falling in love with a vengeful fox spirit? kaon and vos arent that but they are crazy asses so. id say somewhat check. other things i shant say…. check.

also some songs that i have on my youtube playlist arent on spotify so if you want to check them out! theyre both tmg songs. but ezekial 7 and the permanent efficacy of grace and emerging!

actually heres a link to zekey 7 because i used this specific version to write chapters 7 and 8 hehe

[youngpettyqueen]

top 5 beverages!! also idk what music you listen to so?? if you wanna talk about that.

1: tea, specifically iced tea all the way. I drink a shit ton of tea and even more iced tea. I order iced tea whenever I get takeout. I make iced tea a lot. special shoutout to iced decaf earl grey tea, I make that often and I can and will drink it like water

2: Sunny D and orange juice dead tie. im a huge fan of fruit juice in general but these two are divine to me. orange juice is the only thing where I'll get a craving for it so intense I can physically taste it in my mouth. its insane

3: cherry coke specifically. I need to get my hands on some more, they literally JUST started selling them in my city (im Canadian for those who dont know and cherry coke isnt usually available in Canada) a couple months ago and I havent had nearly enough after being deprived for years. I went insane when I visited Connecticut for a week and could drink as much of it as I wanted

4: grape soda. I dont drink nearly enough of this despite how much I love it. I occasionally get very intense cravings and its never around the house so I just sit and suffer, promise I get some, and then the craving fades and by the time grocery shopping happens I have forgotten about it

5: water. what can I say im basic. I drink a shit ton of water and I genuinely do love water a lot kjgdkfjghd

in terms of music I listen to a lot of music. mainly 80s music, I was raised on Queen, Prince, AC/DC, etc etc. my favourite genres are rock (hard and soft rock), pop, pop rock, punk rock, punk pop, metal, and ive been getting into folk and country more and more. lately ive been on a 50s kick and been listening to a lot of that, im getting into Wanda Jackson cause WOW that voice. musical music is also a fav, very fun to scream sing along to

my favourite band of all time is Marianas Trench, with Queen being a close second. ive been listening to a lot of Fall Out Boy lately cause their latest album fucks severely. I have a playlist called Headbangers that has songs I cant help but want to scream to or dance to, including numbers such as-

Great Balls of Fire - Jerry Lee Lewis

Cut to the Feeling - Carly Rae Jepsen

Tank! - Seatbelts

Planetary (GO!) - My Chemical Romance

Little Lion Man - Mumford and Sons

Desperate Measures - Marianas Trench

1 - MOB Choir

Pink Panther - Scene Queen

I Know the End - Phoebe Bridgers

just to give an idea of. the range there

my favourite song of all time is Iris - Goo Goo Dolls. fun fact that song came out while my mom was pregnant with me, and apparently whenever it came on the radio, I would start kicking in the womb. so its been my favourite song since before I was born

[celticbotanart]

Secret option - I listen to music every single day at least once, I need my daily dose of music otherwise life isnt worth it. BC music is my all-time hyperfixation I have all sorts of playlists going on: mood playlists; ocs, RPG characters I had, and favorite IP character playlists; playlists inspired by movies or games (which does not contain their official OST with very few exceptions - I have VERY specific playlist rules lol); playlists inspired by books! Years ago I literally did 5 playlists for "The Witches of Eileanan" series by kate Forsyth (one for each book), and one playlist dedicated to "The Circle of Magic" series by Tamora Pierce <3;

playlists for fanfic I wrote featuring songs I either mentioned or used as inspo for the fic; songs for stories a friend wrote to me;

"Conceptual" playlists - best example I have is one concept I stole from Brian David Gilbert, called "Music to listen to while being chased in a castle", I got some of his recs and then went on with my own songs; An "eccletic halloween" playlist, where I feature any and all sorts of songs in all different genres (there's literally classic rock, folk, dance/electronic, metal and country in it), but all of them MUST mention something spooky, supernatural, mUrDeR, and so on;

Even my OCs/RPG characters have more than one playlist for the same character, because each one focuses on a different AU or how I approach that character. And yes, these playlists sometimes repeat songs but each of them has 40 to 100+ songs each, mostly different tracks that arent repeating. Music and playlists are serious business in this house, bro.

[castlebyersafterdark]

music anon, hello again! i ADORE that your sister was/is such a positive influence in your life. mine too! sad about the brothers though... not to be a prying cliche but it sounds like you had a big family who were into southern/american music? country isnt really a popular thing here in the uk but i can see it being a staple for life in the midwest/southern states of the us. i really hope these memories arent connected to anything bad re: your sexuality :(

your partner being into old folk rock tho... james taylor? joni mitchell? if so, i appreciate him even more than i already do for making you so happy hehe

'Chill in attitude. High strung soul.' - you ARE will byerrrrrrrrssssss <333

yeah s4 did music so well. i cant wait for s5. i really wanna know more of mike's taste in music. it would add so much to the byler lore. is he a retro synth guy like the spotify playlists suggest??? i really feel like he is a synth nerd <3 we already know dustin loves weird al lmao!!! and please do example a lofi song you hate if you can think of one, i'm curious

Shout out to sisters!! I love mine so much - she got me into fandom stuff, too. The quintessential cool nerd, but I never quite managed the cool part like she did haha. And hmm. Yeah. Complicated relationships re: family. The 'rents are mostly cool now. I love my sister and I'm close with one brother. I don't speak to the others much. 🙄 I think that says what it needs to.

And 💙 is just so ahhhh. He's gotten me into his old man music and I'm honestly glad for it. So, spot on. He's such a wallflower and I am ridiculous and I think our musical tastes being so opposite is cool since it's allowed us to branch out together. I'm so into CSNY and Fleetwood Mac now from him. And I'm proud I got that man to absolutely vibe with Dua Lipa since she's a big faaaave 😊

I am DESPERATE for anything more about Mike. I need to know if those spotify lists were accurate, who made and approved them??? New wave and synth is great for Mike! It's got such good queer undertones while still being a little dorky and nerdy?

Ok, I pulled up some playlists and artists I consider the sound style of music that's popular right now that I'm not about: Bille Eilish, Cigarettes After Sex, Glass Animals, Tame Impala, Sufjan Stevens, this or this. I think lofi is a specific type of music actually, and I'm just not into the softly sung, sounds like you'd play it over a slow mo video of a car driving up the PCH, a lot of people probably like listening to it high but I've tried that and it's even worse, kinda music vibes. Hahaha. Something is very wrong with me.

[justagalwhowrites]

okay firstly NO I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS AN OFFICIAL PLAYLIST BUT IM FR IN LOVE WITH IT THANK U FOR UR GENIUS

secodly, sorry all i have is a list and a yt link but unforch one of the songs isnt on spotify 😭

thirdly, unofficial official flugazi yearling ost:

love, love, love - the mountain goats; when he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye, some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun but the things you do for love are going to come back to you one by one

goodbye to old missoula - willis alan ramsey; clouds hang on the mountain, they make me lonesome inside, and these four walls surround me leaving nowhere to hide

all the gold in california - brother marshall & the choir of fire; yes the acapella version from the silly danny mcbride show because it's so vibes so aesthetic so yearling

when a man loves a woman - marcus king; the version that only exists on youtube because marcus king hates me personally and won't put it on a streaming service

i ride an old paint - colter wall; when i die take my saddle from the wall, place it on my old pony, lead him out of his stall, tie my bones to the saddle, turn our faces to the west, we'll both ride the prairie that we love the best

plain to see plainsman - colter wall; let me die in the country that i love the most, i'm a plain to see plainsman and this i will boast, my heart it lies far from the east or west coast

can i take my hounds to heaven - tyler childers; if i can't take my hounds to heaven, if i can't hunt on god's land, i'd rather load mt dog box up and go to hell with all my friends

some days - sturgill simpson; i'm getting pretty tired of sittin' around and wasting time, and i'm tired of taking blame when i ain't done nothing wrong, i'm tired of other people trying to take what's mine, and i'm tired of y'all playing dress up and tryna sing them old country songs

northeast texas woman - jerry jeff walker; those texas ladies are texas gold, kisses sweeter than cactus, takes no practice to love

jamestown ferry - charley crockett; she had a soothing southern drawl, made me feel like a man through it all

you never even call me by my name - leann rimes; i hc that bambi used to get mad at bars when this played and no one did the "LET ME LET ME LET ME" part of the chorus and the leann rimes ver. is the one where you can hear it the most 😭

sounds like the radio - zach top; people call me a walkin' talkin' jukebox, i keep the hits spinnin' non-stop / they say honky tono heroes go to heaven you know, maybe that's why everyone wants to go 'cause it sounds like the radio back in '94

on youtube: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbbBB_mPYjYrO4sRPE2Oj3pxUIy3lp3CI&si=FQX5mL-ndOCaEYv5

love u bunches + follow up discussion topic: BAMBI FC????

HI BESTIEEEEEEEE!

AHHHH I love these!!! And I love that you're invested enough to make a playlist. I hope you're loving the fic!!!

As far as FCs, below the cut :D

I see Bambi as a fairly tough but still feminine looking woman, one with fairly large, brown eyes. I usually picture her as Kiera Knightly

Or Anne Hathaway

I feel like she kind of looks sweet at first glance (and I think tends toward more kindness and caring by nature than her reality allows - as a ranch hand before and the apocalypse now) but then has a lot of bite to her. She's in her early 40s for every part of the fic that's not a flashback but I feel like she's aged pretty well and looks a bit younger than she actually is. Not drastically but I think most people would put her at like 37 instead of 42 if guessing her age.

Curious to know who you picture!! Love you!!!!!

[audible--silence]

Words

When people say to me “what about your future?” I tell them thats exactly who im doing all this for

“All of the best things in my life have occurred when things in my life didn’t go to plan”

“Only thing that changed in eight years is haircuts and excuses”

I want everyone to ask and care but i dont want to talk about it either

Failed with flying colors

Home feels like lame familiarity

“You’ve gotta be my stability!”

“I cant cos im on a BAR STOOL”

The years are passing me by faster than I care to admit.

Turns out making good use of your 20s doesn’t do an awful lot to slow them down.

I’m living a life I thought I wanted and still I feel a divide between what I thought I wanted and how I thought I would feel. Maybe this isn’t all that I hoped it would be. Maybe im not alive enough to make it feel good enough. Maybe just prioritizing fun isnt gonna cut it. But definitely prioritizing stability wont.

Maybe we just don’t have enough years on this earth and space in our brains to feel like we can really live anything to completion.

All I know right now is that on this warm, still summers evening, with a beautiful light in the sky, on a night I should be thoroughly captivated by, i feel unamused and alone.

I’ve seen this before.

I’m stuck with myself in a place i know all too well and not a great many people left to meet

“I have one foot in the door and the other going in a direction i dont quite know yet”

“If you can read this, i hope you have health insurance”

Never have i ever been in a rush to go to sñeep before

19 year old w 5 years practice

I dont believe in being nice i believe in being kind

“Well, money where your mouth is? I liked you.”

“Yeah but I’ve changed since i said that”

Well where too from here

Still tiptoeing around and dancing away

Trying to see where we stand in each other’s lives

Am i all wrong?

Did i read too far into all the songs in the playlist?

Or all the stories we told each other?

All the memories we shared?

And all the fun we made.

How about all the time we spent on each other or all the thoughts spent?

All the dreams made and all the hopes held.

All that you said that i read into, cannot be a mistake. You’re too clever for that. Did you want me to say it? Were you waiting for it? Did you want it? You sure werent surprised by it.

God i hope i didnt ruin it.

Maybe youre right

Maybe finding your person is long term task

Maybe all those journal entries, nights drinking together and nights thinking of you were to hit a realization.

Maybe the realization is that i need therapy

Maybe its that we’re not compatible

Maybe we need more time.

Either way, i know im here for it

Way too much love for the woman who raosed me and her never ending kindness and innocence despite the shit she’s had to deal with. Somehow coupled with a complete lack pf jealousy.

Im quite sick of the world

Im not very fond of myself in it either

I think every minute of every day what am i doing here? Why am i here?

I dont feel comfortable in myself

I dont feel confident in myself

I dont like the state of the world when i observe it

I feel powerless to change it

I feel like a fool for never having tried

I tell myself all the things my dear sweet friends would tell me in this situation

I know that im giving myself too much grace

Im not a dipshit

But i made myself into one

And ill die that way. Whenever I get too sick of it

What a damn shame it is to know a good moments passed you.

To have only the half remembered memories because you didn’t realize at the time that this would be a moment you’d want to think about forever.

I’ve left little pieces of my heart across the globe. From Oaxaca to West Aus to New York to Ningaloo, traces of my soul can be found sprinkled in pockets around taco stands, strangers vans and gorgeous country under shining stars.

I can never get them back.

Nor do I want them.

But I fear ill never approach life in one place with the same zest and enthusiasm as I used to.

A wise man once said it’s important to know when you’re living in a moment you’ll want to remember. I think it’s important to know when you’re shaving a piece of your heart and leaving it somewhere with someone as well

I don’t tend to think of it as “learning about myself” anymore. I think after a few seasons worth of reinventing myself, it feels a little bit more like reinventing the next iteration of myself. A both tiring and exciting endeavor indeed.

“Do you miss NY”

“Mmmmm sometimes “

What a fkn lie. Every day, most hours, in truth

I dont feel like myself

The aussie accent

The blokey chat

The blending in

None of its me, really.

I need stress to stay awake despite wht its doing to me

Do i want to look at the city on my drive in and think “hell yeah” or”ahhhhhh fuck”

Either is an investment of time n energy and i have to pick

You can observe in many colonized countries today what i see in myself.

When you take away peoples connection to identity, language, customs and place, they will frequently stumble around somewhat aimlessly with a penchant for extra curriculars

“Its only racist if im not funny”

“Theres something to be said about a life well fucked around “