#this isnt about her tho this is about my therapist who is acting like i could definitely have a new job

[theautumnriverleaves]

literally every therapist ive ever had has had absolutely no concept of how difficult it is to find a job that pays a livable wage

[eldritchmochi]

b m u y ! letter ask game

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

i fully blame seize and gem for getting me on the shadowidomauk train, regardless of the teif personality. seize especially has me in a chokehold re: their lucien and essek combo in one of their fics, which i have not read nor do i even know if its been posted but they keep sending me snippets like MOCHI YOU WILL LOVE THIS IT HAS ALL* YOUR KINKS and by dog they're right (*it is not actually "all" this is impossible as i have Too Many Kinks but)

also gem's essek-owns-a-boujie-coffee-shop au that has shadowidomauk as end game is cute as shit im sorry gem that i haven't had the spoons to edit more (its so good aaa)

M - Name a character that you’d like to have for a friend.

i answered M with "ashton" over here in this post the other day but another character i would want to be friends withhhhhhhh hmmm lets say asterion. no i have not played the game but from the lore i have absorbed via cherry he is very much the kind of gay i would have fun having catty gossip with while also being the sort of rock for him to lean on and like..... not therapy him i hate being peoples therapist but the immovable object he can bounce trauma off and figure out How 2 People again. i think he would appreciate my bluntness and the way i set clear, explicit boundaries but am otherwise unflappable, and i would certainly appreciate his humour, and we can bond!! over the whole being ace as a result of trauma!! :D

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites.

answered U over here with ashton, kylo, and bucky over here but lets do it again!!

lets kick it off by going Old School with the Original Husbando ^TM: vash the stampede. you have no idea how jazzed i am about the new trigun anime (no i have not watched it i merely enjoy the smut on twitter) because vash is like, my og blorbo. did i have blorbos before? yes, kind of, but my Wants in a man* (*fictional character) had not yet developed so they were but proto-blorbos. vash tho... he has it all: tall pretty boy happy go lucky twink who is secretly Full Of Trauma but shoves it down super hard by being just so upbeat and goofy, and just really wants..... love and peace lmao. a lot of my blorbos historically have similar vibes in the "puts on an act to cover deep severe trauma" way lmao

next up: more anime i guess, but modern: i honestly super fucking love all might???? like SO MUCH he is such an interesting character and i desperately want to read fic of him grappling with his severe health issues alongside his image as a hero AND his mentoring of midoriya (preferably with that guud guud smut, but i have no clue who i'd ship him with, i only got two seasons in lmao). unfortunately, everything i like about him isnt even in cannon its just stuff that i, a cripple, can extrapolate from the worldbuilding and lil snippets we get of him but MAN i am o b s e s s e d

third!!! more comics: loki, specifically the agents of asgard loki. i am 100000% planning to cosplay that loki (i have the hair after all) and i am very excited because he is just so very Gender. it was the first time i saw a genderfluid character in mainstream media and his "i AM gender queer, i IDENTIFY as a bitch" like is something i quote constantly to describe my gender. also hes just such a dick who is obviously trying to do better and unlearn bad habits and god, i dont remember specifically what its about but he has a big fight with his earthside contact roommate buddy helper person over something and then comes crawling back and does this big speech where he talks about how he knows hes a fuck up but he's trying and he values her friendship so much even if he's been shit about showing it and it is chefs kiss

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?

dragon age. just... i know so much vague dragon age lore from listening to cherry talk about it because it is their BIG love for video games (pending bg3..... not sure if itll overtake da but theyre very sad they cannot play it again til monday lmao). i absolutely instigated a convo with someone on okc asking if xyz thing was a da reference and i was rIGHT it secured me a date lmao

similarly, mass effect, batfam stuff, haunted mansion, nbc hannibal (dont ask me why its a fandom in law still i cannot explain), s8 infinity (???? i only know matcha blossom), the final fantasy mmo, taz......

you can ask me more of these letter questions!! i have much time to spare!! maybe!!!

[winderlylandchime]

He was on a roll today! He didn’t want to stop. Havent even started the ep and we are like 3 cigarettes in and 4 pills down. He had an audience of one (to his knowledge) to entertain and he delivered. But he was stressed. It started with him coming back inside and going ‘okay i think I’m ready.. i could be wrong tho’ honestly this is a mood ngl, ‘do you think Brian buys him alcohol..or does he have a fake id? Idk whats cuter. OH MY GOD HE IS DRUNK AND CARING ABOUT HIS EDUCATION! Why am i finding this cute?..my dream is for brian to tell justin he loves him. Seriously dude wtf has to happen for you to tell him’ I swear i deserve an award bc he says stuff that would usually get a reaction from me but i have to be normal about it and it is hard! ‘Oh god, how weird do you think had to be to film blow job scenes?..his hand still acts out! How is he gonna do in school? Oh Brian can’t get enough of him. SIR’ ‘..oh my god MIKE HAS THE SAME WAY OF DEALING WITH PROBLEMS THAT I DO..remember when i dyed it purple for that girl who said her favorite color is purple..and then she never talked to me again?*long pause* honestly i dont blame her that was a bit *waves his hands around* much.’ ‘..brian actually cares about Teds weird addiction enough to show up for an intervention? See! And he got him a job! There is potential here somewhere just let me uncover it!’ ‘Oh Justin is drawing again, dude it’s okay just take a deep breath, count to ten, shake your hand a little and do it again. That’s what my therapist told me to do…although i was 12 and it was bc i was scared to make friends…oh no his hand is gonna be a problem isn’t it?!’ He is now having a moment bc he feels bad for Mikey but he is conflicted with his feelings..’i need him to listen to Bri Bri and quit his job. Oh my god JUSTIN IS STILL HERE?! OH GOD THIS IS PAINFUL TO WATCH. So what if he lost control?! HE IS CLEARLY DISABLED TO SOME DEGREE! Would you kick a handicapped person out of school bc they can’t attend gym class?! Oh i hate this guy! How about you HELP him meet the requirements somehow?! You see he is talented and instead of HELPING him as a teacher, you are gonna spit on him bc he’s disabled?! OH FUCK THIS GUY! FUCK HIM ALL THE WAY TO HELL. I need a cigarette again. Pause this shit bc i am not okay’ he is currently outside pacing back and forth mumbling while smoking and i am learning so much about him bc of qaf, this is actually insane. ‘Okay turn it back on. I’ve calmed down now (cut to justin saying he is dropping out) I LIED I AM NOT CALMED DOWN WTF YOU DONT LET PEOPLE WIN WHEN THEY MAKE YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT DISABILITIES!..oh i love all of their reactions! But Brian is about to have a stroke if Justin doesn’t stop’ ‘WAIT THAT WAS LIKE WHEN BRIAN DID IT IN THE PILOT! okay that was cute! The way Bri Bri stares at him and then he dried his face. Fucking adorable, i almost forget that im mad that he dropped out..(and we are at the computer scene) OH MY FUCKING FUCK CRISPY JESUS HE GOT HIM THAT COMPUTER! THAT IS NOT NORMAL FUCK BUDDY BEHAVIOR BRIAN! Oh this fucker cares so deeply for him and everyone else but doesn’t want anyone to know. CMON JUSTIN STOP BEING A LITTLE BITCH AND TRY IT! Oh that’s messed up Justin, he isnt trying to fix you, UNLIKE THE TEACHER HE IS TRYING TO HELP YOU FIND WAYS TO DO YOU THING! Oh he looks like he just watched a puppy get hit (he now got sad at a fake scenario he just made up about the puppy)..OH HE DREW A PENIS NICE’ 1/2 of 2x05

Oh he drew a penis, nice. DEAD.

Anon you are so brave and strong for not telling him the things that you should not be telling him.

Your brother has gone straight (pun intended) queer theory to disability theory. He needs a full honorary degree. I love him.

[dykeyote]

hi i do not know what the theia n adam thingy is about but. please do elaborate because now i am curious

OOOOO OKAY so quick theia summary [SEASON 2 JUNOVERSE SPOILERS IN THIS WHOLE POST LOL i try not to spoil any more than is necessary but i do spoil a Lot just bc u kinda have to . no spoilers for anything after that tho i havent even listened to s4] is that the theia in the penumbra podcast is basically this cybernetic eye that the protagonist is given by this like sort of father figure thats attempting to manipulate him through positive attention and shit theres a bunch of other lore going on there but thats all u really need to know for this post . it starts as helpful and gets said protag back on his feet but begins to take more and more control of his life and it looks like his weirdo bf at one point . this isnt a great summary whoopsie but it serves

n e ways so my thought is that sydney having that and it being adam and taking advantage of his emotions of loneliness would be kind of cool .... and instead of being a robotic woman voice its jsut this weirdo fucking guy who he sort of hallucinates in his vision because of how the eye works . i think lucille gave it to him partially bc of similar themes to the original show but also because lucille would totally just have like freaky future age technology lying around for no reason to manipiulate people plus it furthers the themes of sydney relying on her medically . also the adamtheia is red instead of blue bc thats cool

anyway so adam sort of acts as a therapist still but maybe a physical therapist also?? bc he controls sydneys faculties kinda . which sydney at first finds great becasue hes not lonely anymore but he starts slowly realizing hes losing his autonomy but by this point its too late . i think adam does take the form of jedidiah sometimes also to make a point or to trick sydney which happens in the show as well but defintely NOT in the way the show did bc jedidiah would be too embarrassed to ever wear that fucking slutty little nightgown and sydney would know something was up instantaneously lmao

ermies but diverging from the canon stuff MORE i think itd be cool if adam was more sentient and maybe kinda diverged from what lucille wanted?? like lucille had her own weird manipulative gains but adam is weird and freaky and alive and tries to make things happen to fuck lucille over and get his own weird goals achieved

also i think itd be cool if like . idk how sydney lost his eye but Somehow he did idk ill work this out later and the weird uppy adam eye was originally jedidiahs work?? maybe thats how its so freaky and magical and advanced engineering-wise . bc i do think hed make a cybernetic eye that is maybe a little overly helpful to the degree of having some queries about whether its healthy for it to help u w so much or if its bordering on losing full autonomy but it wouldnt be MALICIOUS or intentionally controlling or violating jedidiah is just weird about being helpful . but then some Force like probably a mix of both lucille and just adams ai take it and warp it and make it way more Maliciously controlling and intentionally intrusive (mostly bc i thinkt he parallels between jedidiahs Unhealthy But Well Intentioned controlling traits and other characters including lucille's Malicious controlling traits are quite interesting)

i imagine this being kinda vaguely season one.... like a season one divergent thing . i think itd be kinda cool if there was a parallel of the gun scene from promised land (for context the theia manipulates the protag into shooting someone) but with elijah .... mostly bc i thnk Wihle jedidiahs actively ignoring sydney would make sydney very easily manipulated via his loneliness and need for guidance which adam-theia-thing would provide 2 him

[throwingmuses]

need 2 vent about the shit show that was the doctors appt i had yesterday 🤩 cw for weight ment and other eating disorder stuff

ok so basically its been an extreme pain to get into this ed program because i need medical clearance (including blood work) before i can start bc the clinic isnt equipped to help treat medical issues. essentially i have to have a doctor order the blood test or else id have to pay out of pocket and order the tests myself (which i definitely dont have the money for rn), but the soonest appointment my doctor had available was over a month out. so i tried going to several of those walk in clinics and all of them gave me some convoluded answer essentially saying they couldnt help me. finally i found someplace that let me make an appointment with another doctor that was a bit sooner than my other one, so i went ahead and did that. i walked into it expecting it to be pretty brief, and i was confused at first why the doctor was doing a psych assessment when all i needed was a quick physical checkup??? but i was really tired and confused so i just went along with it anyways. from the second i walked in the doctor seemed very irritated and was acting rude for literally no reason. i tried to just let it roll off my shoulders because i desperately needed someone to just order these goddamn blood tests and sign a paper saying im good to go. but then, when she asked me my current height/weight, i told her that i was 5'4 and 120lb, to which she actually fucking responded by saying "Wow, you weigh more than me!" which was EXTREMELY TRIGGERING and has been fucking haunting me in the form of obsessive thoughts ever since. she also implied that my current therapist/psychiatrist wasnt very informed because shes a recent graduate when in reality shes the most knowledgable and up front psych ive ever had and this bitch who thinks shes the hot shit didnt even know that there were different types of bipolar disorder. clearly her "knowledge" of psychology as a whole is extremely outdated. anyways towards the end of the meeting, she told me straight up that the clinic probably wouldnt accept me because im at a healthy weight which is total bullshit because thats not how it works whatsoever and i was already ACCEPTED into the program regardless of my weight. ive had this issue a lot over the years with providers not believing that im anorexic because ive never lost a significant amount of weight and the worst medical issue ive had was having low potassium and almost passing out at work, and im forever fucking baffled as to why that is because i often eat less than 1000 calories per day. like im grateful for my body continuing to take care of me despite all of the hell i put it through, but just because im healthy on paper doesnt mean this shit doesnt terrorize me on a daily basis. anyways at that point i just fucking snapped (which is very out of character for me cuz im rather shy) and i told her that she had no idea what she was even talking about, that anyone with half a brain let alone a degree in psychology shouldnt talk to someone with an eating disorder like that (which she KNEW i had walking into this bc thats what the whole appointment was about), and explaining to her that the stress i have around food is ruining my life and preventing me from doing pretty much anything i want/have to do. after yelling at her she changed her disposition entirely and started acting like a dog with its tail between its legs which was pretty gratifying at least. i was like openly sobbing very loudly afterward tho and like everyone in the office could hear me which i found to be embarassing but Oh Well. then me and my bf talked to her supervisior and told them what happened and they were actually very receptive and apologetic so heres to hoping she gets fired (: also she wasnt even a fuckin doctor so the whole thing was pointless but luckily i got an earlier appointment with my doctor cuz someone cancelled But Yeah Ive Been Fucked Up Ever Since

[fl0ating-tree]

Favorite to least favorite c!'s on the dream smp GO! (Them as character's objectively, not their actions, if that makes sense!)

anon kiss me rn this is a perfect excuse to ramble about my opinions and boy do i have opinions.... totally up for rebuttles to these or ppl trying to change my opinions on it i am a literary analysis bitch at heart

hate - technoblade, ranboo (there will be a bounty on my head for this one LOL)

dislike - niki, foolish, punz

don't love or hate - dream, phil, sam, puffy

like - sapnap (i WILL go further into detail for this one if someone wants), jack, tubbo, tommy, fundy

love - wilbur, ghostbur, eret, quackity, schlatt

hate is a strong word but it was used for the sake of the scale lol. but i REALLY dislike techno and ranboo's characters for the same reason of the fact that they feel very mary sue.

techno feels mary sue to me cause just like...nothing bad ever happens to him. i think 90% of my issue with his character would be fixed if he had died as his execution. that entire thing felt so stagnated. the day before dream is like "hey i think youre gonna get executed. heres how to not let that happen." and then the stream after that was "hey im getting executed. thats not gonna happen." like...it was just so unsatisfying because there wasn't a single moment i was concerned for techno considering i watched him get totems the day before and watched him hold one during his execution. he's stuck in the prison but from the way cc!techno was acting it feels like techno doesn't even CARE that he's there, and he has a contingency plan with the syndicate anyways. i didn't even feel bad that he got pulled out of retirement considering it was revealed he was collecting weapons of mass destruction the entire time. the only time i have EVER like his character was early pogtopia when everyone was always like "techno refuses to roleplay" AFSDKFSKG

ranboo feels like a mary sue to me because it's literally just one bad thing happening to him after another without any rhyme or reason. oh no his tears burn him and he has memory loss and he's scared he's doing bad things (did the whole "ranboo secretly has the cat disc" every get brought up again?) and he hears voices. his husband and best friend are moral enemies with his roomies but none of them seem to have an issue with that? just like.....his entire character is internal conflict and everyone loves him. not a fan.

dislike character all boil down to the same thing as well in that i feel like i would LOVE these character if they were executed better.

niki's going from wanting to protect tommy in pogtopia to the next thing i remember of her is her blaming tommy for her trauma. and her villain arc being INCREDIBLY serious but then a joke? niki as a character has a lot of potential but it all just isnt executed well imo, which is why i dislike the character.

foolish being a fun idea but the whole "totem god" thing just falls flat with me.

punz had SO much potential to do something really cool character-wise after the disc finale, but i think that boils down to cc!punz not being a big roleplayer/minecraft streamer, so it makes sense but still feels a little bit like a let down.

for the idc category it's honestly just that personally their character doesn't retain my interest. not that i think there's any major flaw with their character, just not something i care about.

dream i legit just...don't have thoughts about. cool character, but nothing stands out, and he feels a little flip-floppy sometimes. couldn't care less that he's being tortured so i feel like that's a sign that something isn't working right with that plotline.

phil and sam i think i would love their characters if they were exclusivly side characters but with the nature of streaming as the medium for the story there has to be a bit more substance to their characters but i genuinely think i would've liked them if it was just "the warden" and "wilbur's father" rather than their own individual characters. cool characters regardless, just not my personal faves.

puffy i might just not watch her enough but its similar to phil and sam where i think having her just be a therapist wouldve worked better than a fleshed out character. if more puffychu development happens tho, both her and niki will probably rise on this list.

the like characters range from "i think these characters have flaws objectively, but overall are very good!" to just....i am nostalgic for the pet wars.

sapnap i don't have a good reason for liking his character LOL it's mainly because i started watching during the height of the pet wars and i loved watching him during that. but i still just think the concept of his character is so cool and if he did more lore and specifically more stuff with dream, i can see him easily becoming a favorite character of mine.

jack, tubbo, and tommy i think are all very well fleshed out and executed characters. they have goals, flaws, relationships, and all three of the CCs are good actors i feel too. jack REALLY wow'd me over with his manifold hotel arc thing. tommy i think works well as a character because objectively he's kind of a prick but i still want him to win, and i think that's a sign of a well written character.

fundy again is similar to sapnap in that i loved him in the pet wars, but also he has the strongest relationships on the server imo. phil and wilbur stand out the most, but also with the OG l'manbergians and how his relationship with all of them are strained for no apparent reason in this awful "i've grown as a person and can't love you any more" kind of way.

i will fight tooth and nail over the fact that these characters are some of the most well-written and acted on the server genuinely. ESPECIALLY eret. i am a c!eret stan before all else.

ghostbur and eret i absolutely adore because of just how quietly tragic they are. a ghost damned to haunt his failures, and a king damned to try and repent. really REALLY well executed characters, and i pray every day that eret gets the kind of views tommy and wilbur's lore streams do because she is an amazing actor. they are both so tragically well written and executed amazingly, both are great examples of "show not tell" too. ghostbur with the amneisa and eret with their museum and abandoned castle. (only critic for eret is that i wish he stayed dethroned and george stayed king, but i think that was CC error not C error because if i remember right geroge said he wanted out of the lore. tho i think he could've stayed king and still not been involved in lore, but i digress)

wilbur and quackity are all incredibly thought out. you can see a start and a middle, and you can see that there's an ending. i feel like the biggest issue i have with tommy and tubbo is that there just doesn't seem to be an ending for their characters. with wilbur and quackity i can see an ending happening for them. they've got flaws, pros, goals, motivations, ideas. just AMAZING execution and it's cool to see how they're both so well written yet they execute their characters differently. wilbur with very casually imbedded lore that you only realize was lore and foreshadowing until it's too late, and quackity with very in-your-face produced lore streams that make you sit for an hour afterwards and wonder what happened.

schlatt is a good character because of cc!schlatt's AMAZING acting and also because he didn't try to make it some grand thing. schlatt was an alcoholic who abused his workers and was power hungry. he had his goal, and that was it, and cc!schlatt executed that perfectly.

[whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk]

okay this is my last post I know I'm being very annoying and I hate to clog the tag but I just have to scream into the void for a while if you disagree or you're annoyed with me please just scroll past this rant thank you

- the hitman plot. god. we all hate that shit. what I realllllly hate is how long and drawn out it is. should've been one episode tops, like when dean tried it. I want to say, that obviously it's not gonna work bcz it would be stupid to kill off the character carrying the entire show, but at this point maybe they are gonna kill him off??? idfk. maybe it's a punishment for all the people (everyone) who like him. truthfully the whole "murder is our only way out of this" attitude is disappointing and seemingly out of character for all of the girls. Boomer attacked annie and they let him fuckin live. They knew he was a fuckin rapist piece of shit, and a regular piece of shit too, but couldn't kill someone. But apparently killing someone beth, at one point, felt some typa way about...smh..apparently that is A ok and they don't even explore other options or feel the least bit guilty?? even when they "mourned" boomer it was more about marion than him. But rio and his whole ass innocent child are not a thought at all??? Wild. Truly. Also....what do they think will happen?? If I were a gang leader's right hand the first person I would check upon seeing my boss get murdered would probably be the person who tried to murder him last time lmao. Do they really think they would get away with it? Even if they didnt get caught, they wouldnt be off the hook. Surely mick would just keep things going, with even less leeway. And what happens when their illegal activities bite them in the ass when Rio is gone? Who are they gonna blame everything on? Who is gonna clean up their mess? No one. And this whole "I'm not doing it, wait yes I am, wait no I'm not, wait I'm gonna do it" thing the hitman is doing is...not it. I'm assuming were gonna get an explanation about how he knew that this was a crime of passion (lol)

-beth beth beth......you know there is a theory floating around that she has serious ptsd and I actually would love to see that explored but that shit ain't happening lol. I'm tired of feeling like I'm analyzing her character. At what point is it too much. She's hard to read but I think it has crossed the line over complex and ventured into poor characterization. She's gotten chances and chances and I'm tired. And dean. God I'm tired. I feel like all season I've been watching beth do the same thing, play good wifey, risk her (and Annie's and Ruby's) life by doing stupid shit..and that's basically it. Face some fckn consequences for your actions please. Take some responsibility. I feel like the show is showing us inklings of...something...bubbling underneath the surface but it's not our job to fill in the blanks or interpret shit. I do not work for nbc. I'm not getting paid for this. What is this girl thinking trying to get rio to invest in hot tubs (bless her calling dean an idiot. fuck this show for making him suddenly a good salesman) while trying to kill him. Does she think he dies and suddenly she owns it?? Makes zero sense. Also unpopular opinion i dont like that she caused a scene with the pool ball. Like....of course he isnt listening to you....you shot him...3 times....then stole from him....and have been screwing him over repeatedly.

-dean just....no. I understand that beth has so much going on in her life right now that divorce isn't exactly on her mind and dean is the last trace she has left of a normal life so shes holding onto it for dear life.....actually no. I do not know if any of that is actually true or if I'm just interpreting wrong. Because the subtext and editing and parallels and all that would be fine and dandy but not when that's all the show is at this point. If dean cheating yet again is not gonna make beth leave him, nothing will. I want his screentime to be 30 seconds and nothing more.

-im just not invested in the boland children. Annie and ruby have both struggled real bad, but beth, the one in the deepest, has 4 children who are somehow unaffected by this?? Not to mention the whole divorce, wait never mind, oh look a gang leader hanging out with mommy again, oh look our house is empty, type stuff happening. Beth's kids should be going through it but for some reason they arent? Maybe it's because child labor laws or something lol.

- rio. At this point I'm rooting for him for than anything. But I genuinely do not know why he hasnt killed beth. She's proven herself to be more of a liability than an asset and I just cannot understand why he hasnt killed her. Unless it's the whole "feelings" route, which wouldve made him look dumb, but made sense based on what we were given. This is actually the direction I thought the season was going but now it just seems like he is a bad businessman lol. Obviously she cant die for the sake of the show, but its like they didnt even try to make it make sense. He definitely knows about the hitman btw. I dont really blame him for anything he's done with beth so far. He robbed her in retaliation. He had to cut her off when she started acting shady. 🤷‍♀️ he let's her get away with too much tbh. It's a shame that this character isnt being utilized. Its like they are banking on this mysterious aura to keep working, but we are 3 seasons in and it's a little old now. I personally think that they just don't know what to do with him now. Also can I point out how dumb he looks showing beth that he is doing business at the carwash, why would he give her more information than she needs when he is suspicious of her? I cant tell if I was happy with how unphased he looked about her outburst or if I wish he checked her.

-mick. Did his side plot with beth die? How does it seem like this show simultaneously moves through plots every episode but is also stuck in the same one for the entire season? I also think mick is not being utilized. As funny as it is for him to be a built in 3rd wheel all the time, they could do so much more. Like can you imagine if beth mouthed off or fucked up and mick checked her? The possible ways a plot like that could go...untapped potential.

-ruby. Ah...I remember when I thought her and stan's fight was dragging for too long. Miss those days. See even tho ruby and stan seem to have the same issue over and over it's not the same story. Pen cap, new job, sarah stealing, all the same fight, but with different stories. And it really seems like Ruby's always going through it but I appreciate the variety. Stan's storyline has been interesting but I dont know how much it relates to the central plot. Sarah....great. that actress is so talented and even tho shes an attitude machine (what preteen is not) i just love her scenes. Harry seems to be missing a lot. The hills are the only part I seem to enjoy anymore. Really wish the show would explore why ruby seems to be the one who keeps getting caught up with the law...I wonder what it could be....what is different about her..hm...

- annie. Backtracked so much. Wish she had a single plot that didnt revolve around men. Now shes trying to cheat on her GED. Where's the snark? Where's the wit? It seems like all she is now is a codependent insecure mess. And I'm tired of this fuckass therapist. I thought her study montage was gonna end in a "she didnt need anyone but family (:" lesson but it did not for whatever reason. I thought by bringing a therapist into the show it was gonna give us more of a look at Annie's and Beth's upbringing and relationship. Or help annie work through her issues, the boomer thing too. Or maybe lead to Beth's ptsd diagnosis. Therapy could've helped move the plot forward or help the characters grow, but it's doing the opposite of that. If its not contributing to the main plot, what is its purpose? To give annie yet another terrible love interest?

To summarize....I hate it here.

[moonprincess92]

so social distancing has naturally given me a lot more time to read and i’ve just recently finished “In at the deep end” by Penelope Janu. i apparently needed a few days to stew in my eMOtions because bOY DO I HAVE SOME FUCKIN OPINIONS(TM)  

- the tl:dr version is this book is absolute Trashfire and i hated it 

- for more opinions, please do continue 

- i originally picked up this book (long before being confined to my house, for the record, i was just far too optimistic about having the time to read it back then) bc the cover claimed it was a ‘quick-witted romantic comedy about losing your cool’ (spoiler alert: it is not) 

- the back was also an interesting premise: she is a feisty explorer/geography teacher, he is a badass norwegian navel officer, her boat sinks and she nearly drowns bc she can’t swim. he rescues her and will help fund a new ship if he teaches her how to swim 

- so u got the perfect ‘let me teach u this skill and while we’re at it lets fall in love’ trope and hOW DOES THIS BOOK MANAGE TO MESS THAT UP 

- LETS START WITH WHERE IT GETS PROBLEMATIC 

- girl wants to go to palau island on the new ship they fund. dudebro will ONLY let her go if she learns how to swim. he is the one who will determine her ‘readiness’ to swim. he is the one who will be teaching her. 

- DUDEBRO ISN”T EVEN IN CHARGE OF THE SHIP???? WHY DOES HE GET TO DECIDE???? 

- book also tries to pull the ‘enemies to lovers’ trope by having the two main characters literally hate each other but forgets the all important FRIENDS step thats supposed to happen in btwn so basically u hate the very ship ur supposed to be shipping 

- reason girl cannot swim is bc of a trauma in which the car she was in crashed into water. her mother drowned and her father was seriously injured and later died in this event 

- girl suffers from SEVERE phobic symptoms of water. she cannot touch water, or even think of putting her head under without suffering panic attacks, migraines, and vomiting. it is clear that this girl needs psychological help to get over her phobia 

- DOES THE BOOK EVER TOUCH ON THIS???? NO IT FUCKING DOES NOT WHAT IS THERAPY ONLY THE POWER OF BONERS CAN CURE HER APPARENTLY 

- dudebro even says at one point “i don’t think you have post-traumatic stress, yadda yadda why can’t u do this??????” LIKE ARE U A FUCKIN PSYCHOLOGIST??? NO UR FUCKING NAVY GO BACK TO THE NORWEGIAN SEA U IMBECILE 

- while we’re at it are u even qualified to teach someone how to swim?????? I know ur navy and shit which i guess includes knowledge of swimming but just bc i cook a mean pasta for dinner doesn’t mean i’m fuckin gordon ramsey???? 

- as he teaches her how to ‘swim’ book tries to make it that they have this undeniable cHeMIStrY but bc these characters also Hate(TM) each other you end up hating both of them 

- like she even has to tell him ‘i do not want to be touched inappropriately by u’ which is supposed to come off as Sexy and ‘ooooh the tension is so WILD they can’t keep their hands off each other!!!’ but instead comes off as creepy and like he’s a predator 

- dudebro also has the personality of a potato 

- the first time they have a sexual encounter, there is NO consent???? literally they are arguing and he reminds her of the rule she made about not touching her. he doesn’t want to have sex and suggests they meet the next day. she says no, purposefully angering him into breaking the rule and saying (AND I QUOTE) “You wanted this, so you can’t accuse me of acting inappropriately. Is that understood?” 

- I”M SORRY THATS NOT HOW CONSENT WORKS????????????????? 

- they also don’t label their sexual encounter as “””sex””” bc it wasn’t P-in-V like mmmmmkay 

- by this point i hate the book and am slowly descending into Madness but am determined to see it to the end, so carry on reading i go 

- eventually, we get to the point where it’s nearly the deadline where she has to know how to swim and so far, she can only sit in water that is waist deep. girl is SUFFERING and yet somehow she still never goes to a therapist????? 

- even tho she’s been struggling to even SIT in water, she suddenly decides one day fuck it, i’m gonna just dive in the deep end and put my head under??? (it reads like its supposed to be a clever tie in to the title, but reality is its really inconsistent with her progress!) 

- SOMEHOW THE MAGIC OF FUCKING BONERS HELPS HER PUT HER HEAD UNDER????? 

- DUDEBRO LITERALLY SAYS “Breathe. Through. Me,” (direct quote) AND THEY ROMANTICALLY KISS UNDER THE WATER????? LIKE THIS GIRL WAS VOMITTING AT THE THOUGHT MERE DAYS AGO 

- like i am in no way an expert in phobias and PTSD but like i’m like FAIRLY certain this this isnt supposed to be how they work?????????? 

- idk what this says about our author Ms Penelope here, but i literally lost count the amount of times she writes about the girl’s “erect nipples” 

- she is also obsessed with calling dudebro an ‘action hero’ like wE GET IT HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A DREAMY BUFF DUDEBRO WHO CAN BENCH-LIFT CARS AND SHIT 

- the first time they have sex(TM) they get real weird with the idea of contraception. they’ve only known each other a few months at this point, they are not even officially together yet and THIS is the interaction they have: 

“I don’t have a condom.”  “You’re a commander. You should be better prepared.”  “I bet you’re not on the pill.”  “No.”  “So you want to have a baby straight away?” 

- WHAT THE FLYING FUCK????? WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE THEY’RE HAVING SEX WITH FOR THE FIRST TIME???? the conversation is awkward and about as sexy as donald trump in a bikini 

- at this point i want to hurl myself into the Abyss 

- anyway, book plays up the trip to palau as her big goal she’s working towards. somehow, she magically manages to learn to swim with like a week to go or something (AGAIN HOW???) dudebro says she’s not “””””ready””””” tho and bans her from going anyway ? ? ?  

- this shows how throughout the whole book, these characters have NOT had a healthy relationship. their every interaction clearly shows that dudebro has a LOT more power over the girl and this power imbalance makes u hate the ship ur supposed to be rooting for 

- anyway blah blah PLot ShiT girl gets to go on the trip, but when we do get to the trip, literally none of it is covered????? it’s like one(1) sentence saying she gets to go and then pages about how she misses dudebro 

- U WERE PLAYING THIS UP TO BE THE BIG CLIMAX TO THE STORY, THE BIG TRIP WE DESERVE TO SEE I AM RAGING BY THIS POINT  

- im fuckin tired, story ends with the girl “surprising” dudebro on his mission in Antarctica and them saying they’ve fallen in love and other bullshit, neither of them has grown as a character, i hate them both and all in all this book is utter tRASH 0/10 WOULD NOT RECOMMEND 

- like, Penelope........................GIRL................look I just wANT TO HAVE SOME WORDS(TM) thAT”S ALL 

- THANK U 4 READING, I HOPE YALL HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY IN ISOLATIONx

- PS. IF I EVER SEE THE WORDS ‘ERECT NIPPLES’ AGAIN I WILL FUCKIN FLIP A TABLE 

[catsconstellation]

"what will we do about abuse victims like me, who see their abuser in that lady? Are they too to be silenced?"

Fucking hilarious dude, the case was LITERALLY about Amber being silenced from speaking up about the abuse and sexual assault she suffered at the hands of Depp. I know you stupid fucking Depp apologists like to pretend the case was "who abused who" but i was A DEFAMATION CASE stating that even tho Depp DID (court recognized DID) abuse Amber she isnt allowed to fucking talk about it bc it counts as defamation against that stupid addict.

"[a quote from me talking about my abuse experience] fucking hilarious dude..."

"...that stupid addict."

so are we just hating on everything who's suffering now? And for what? Some Hollywood white lady? Abuse victims, and now addicts too? what side are you even on homie... do you want peace in the word or... what is ur goal in all this? to be right? well that's my best guess because I see no humanity in you.

there was no "court recognizing" his abuse? If youre in reference to the trial held in UK court, then you'll be shocked to hear the judicial system works differently depending on the country! This trial was done in the US. Did u know? We have different laws, different systems, and uhm, an entirely different defamation case for johnny and amber too LOL. This ones hilarious, the case was not "LITERALLY about Amber being silenced..." girllll... this is what happens when ur only info comes from an echo chamber. let me guess, did you take anytime to watch the trial for yourself, or are you just relying on a liars word and articles intentionally written to bait you, for all your information on the trial?

You're right on one thing, it IS a defamation case, so you have that much correct, well until you mentioned that "she isn't allowed to fucking talk about it" UHM. I think you are forgetting that defamation calls for PUBLIC defamation... like if she needs a therapist or friends to talk to that's like... normal life... she can do that? Are you A / H stans a little mixed up about Johnny Depp supporters being stoked he's a celebrity, because from what it seems like, y'all only see her as a celebrity, because in no world is she not "allowed to fucking talk about it" outside of the celebrity world

The reason Depp won the trial was purely because she acted out of malice against him, in an attempt to ruin him, and it worked! And because it worked, that was the entire reason the case was even called for. It's very plain and simple, just like how the trial concluded.

Also why are you still here. I don't like you, you're gross. Didn't you say you wanted me blocked Where is my block <:( no more harassing me on anon, anon.

[ratmonsterz]

so i came out-ish.txt (personal but idc who reads) pretty long btw. DONT RB or i’ll FRY YOU.

heres the rundown, my bros

alright so i told the Parentals™ about my feels and w/e towards gender. they dont know the gay thing yet lol but. thatll come

so first off they told me i cant be a dude and wanna wear dresses and makeup and ‘look like a girl’ and that that is telling them that i’m “exploring my feelings” and whatever

i was like “well if a person born male wanted to wear lipgloss would you let him?” and they were like no thats different and i gave up loll

they said its good that im exploring them , they were being supportie i think but they said they wanna get me to a therapist so they can help me be sure bc ive switched labels millions of times in the past 2 years 

(just counted. ive switched gender/sexuality labels 15 times in 2 years. the pattern was shifting thru genderfluid/nb/demiboy/transmasc and pansexual/bi/gay)

i noted to them that i had wanted to be a boy when i was a kid, that when picking labels i always clung to some form of masculinity and something not girl-affiliated. 

anyways they were like ‘well if ur a guy....why did u wanna get that lipgloss?’ well bc i wanted to wear it, i said

they kept telling stories of like people who changed midway when they thought they were something. they were doing it in like a caring way, because they knew and i had t admit that i changed labels millions of times. 

they also said they cant drop everything and suddenly call me Dave and use he/him because theyve known me as a girl my whole life which i get but I was like “well. could you try maybe?” and they were like well we arent sure. and once they referred to me like “youre still our daughter”

like. they really are trying to do whats best for me but the fact that they said i cant be a guy and want to be seen as a guy and like makeup or “change myself when i meet someone else” like....it hurt, to be honest. it really hurt. but its fine since they dont know

so they said theyre gonna find me a therapist to help me be comfortable with whatever label and stuff and my friends can call me whatever name and pronouns and stuff, but not to shove it down peoples throats because i tended to do that. admittedly, yeah, last year i was always like “im not a girl uwu.....they/them uwu.......im not a girl XD stop being so close mindeeeed.....” and acting like a typical special snowflake. that was just me tho i was being an asshole

i tried to make an analogy like “well if a girl of my age told u she was a lesbian would you tell her that she might change her mind?” and they were like “well we dont know her and thats different” and when i said it was kinda the same situation they didnt seem to listen?

anyway. tl;dr i’m gonna get a therapist (hopefully soon) to figure out and be sure of what im comfortable with. until God knows when, i’m still their daughter. i’m gonna tag transphobia jic, but it isnt really too bad. or maybe im underestimating lmao

[chaseprice]

I have a question , how exactly is Chloe (LIS) Self destructive aside from drugs and alcohol? I'm genuinely wondering . There's the whole "Rachel saved my life " and that means she was suicidal at one point but as far as we know , didn't act on it and didn't self-harm through cutting herself . With her relationships with people and the way she lashes out, is that it ? ~Genuinely Wondering don't hate me

hey there! you seem to acknowledge a bunch of her self-destructive tendencies in this message already! not sure if that’s with the intent of writing them off (like, ‘if i say i recognize this stuff then i can’t be blamed for not agreeing with the sentiment that she’s self-destructive’) or whether it’s just because like, you are on the same page but just aren’t too sure about it/whether that stuff does make her self-destructive?

i mean, either way, i can talk about it a little bit if you want.

(cw self harm abuse self destruction etc) below

first of all, chloe using alcohol and drugs from the age of around 14/15 all the way up to her being 19 in canon as a coping mechanism is an extremely self-destructive one which shows very little regard for her health (mentally and physically), so ignoring that won’t be helpful in this conversation at all – it’s important.and as you’ve already said, yeah, it’s heavily implied she was at a point in her life where she felt that meeting rachel literally saved her, so lots of people do draw the conclusion she was suicidal, etc. but obvious indication of chloe cutting herself for example, isn’t needed to draw the conclusion that she’s self-destructive. she’s a depressed, abused, alone young girl – it’s likely already. the “I WANT TO DIE” letter in her and rachel’s hideout, her implying the thing she values most at the point where max comes back into her life is Rachel – getting rachel back, being willing to steal money for rachel, eventually getting drugged and kidnapped by the guy who she was gonna steal from, and then STILL goes to pursue him to blackmail him for money after that traumatising event, dedicating her life to putting up posters for her and doing nothing else in those 6 months – that’s clearly not healthy behaviour, chloe taking antidepressants already and having a history with trauma, ptsd/insomnia, therapists, counsellors. (plus, what’s to say chloe doesn’t self-harm! how would you know? you thinking scars on the arms of her character model? as if dontnod would put those in. self-harm isn’t only cutting wrists, though, just so you know.)it’s just… a given, really. textbook shit. but if you want me to go more into detail about her self destructive behaviour ingame that ISN’T alcohol/drug dependency – it’s mostly the… careless shit. the shit that implies she doesn’t give a shit what the consequences of her actions are. her getting involved with people like frank, dangerous drug dealers, from the age of fifteen. borrowing thousands of dollars from them and STILL going on the offensive despite knowing the risk – reaching to grab frank’s arm in episode two, for example. episode three: during her breakdown. just totally… sabotaging herself and her relationships. regretting it afterwards of course! messaging max and apologising but in the heat of the moment just, shouting and crying and getting mad upset without considering max’s feelings about it, just letting her rage consume her completely about the rachel shit – pulling out and reversing into moving traffic, driving fast while upset – doing the CLASSIC “bring up all the fucked up trauma during this one argument that isnt really to do with my trauma but fuck i’m messed up right now and it’s all because i’m messed up as a person and i’m messed up as a person because of THIS event etc.” manoeuvre. then……… still completely forgiving rachel the next day and still having rachel as her goal and shit even tho she was hurt immensely by her. endangering herself in front of frank/nathan the next day, bc she values max’s and rachel’s lives over her own. how about after they discover the body, and she tears off with the idea of running straight into the vortex club party and straight up murdering nathan? when max tells her she’ll get hurt – she says she doesn’t care, setting this right and killing nathan/jefferson (depending on convo) is the most important thing. in fact, the only thing that’ll get chloe to reconsider in that conversation, is if max says that she (herself) will get hurt. chloe only cares about max. not herself.plus, deck nine are doing a really good job of portraying that sort of mundane slow self destruction that chloe went through when she’s… basically still a kid. smoking & drinking & who she’s involved with, cutting class and saying she just doesn’t give a shit anymore, doesn’t feel anything for it, she used to but she’s run out of fucks and people just avoid her and she’s alright with that – that’s not fucking healthy for anyone, but she lets it happen, because she’s alone and depressed and sad (talkin about sad stuff: her messaging max at 2am just with the word ‘max’ continues to… kill me). her journal entries are great insight into how little she cares about her life at that point, right at such a sad point because, she’s… aware of it. can see herself slipping, but just lets it happen. i recommend reading ‘em. plus, people’ll probs disagree with me about this, because people tend to do that whenever i talk about gay stuff, but chloe fucking a guy right after her dad died because she was “lonely, [she guesses]” and being bored was definitely self-destructive. that poor baby lesbian. and when it comes to david abuse, she definitely… god, i definitely feel like she internalizes a lot of the stuff david says to her about being useless and a burden on her mother and shit, especially considering chloe’s ep 5 speech about herself being not worth it, herself being so selfish, her mother deserving better etcetera. i guess it could also be argued that her “provoking” david could be self destructive in a way since he’s physically abusive towards her and she knows it and shies away from him in ep 3 when he raises his hand etc but from what we’re shown in canon i think those times are more just her… standing up for max/her mother/herself. so yeah. chloe needs help and love and support. she clearly does not value her own life very much. anyway! it’s 5am and i’m tired. there are certainly more examples of her self destructive behaviour that i’ve probably forgotten to mention (people feel free to reblog and add on, or reply), but you were nearly spot on with your ask. just framed it in a… doubtful way, for some reason

[minidog]

hey can u rec me some good musicals? ive just recently gotten into them and ive seen hamilton, heathers and dear even hansen aka pretty well known ones already and im lookin for something diff!

yeahyeah sure!!!

les miserables - A CLASSIC YOU HAVE OF COURSE HEARD OF. its good. about revolution and whatnot as you must know. based off of the book by victor hugo. i dont really know abt the movie i dont usually prefer movies over stage versions and i dont with this one but like, the movie isnt awful if thats what youre gonna watch u know. its a very different style than hamilton/heathers/deh though.

bring it on - musical based off of the ICONIC 2000s movie of the same name. made me want to become a cheerleader. what more can i say

spring awakening - aka my main shit!!! based off of an old ass play by frank wedekind, who was a fairly cool dude all things considered. (all things = hes old as BALLS) (also the play is a nice read too but idk not many people like reading plays) its about coming of age in the opressive 1890s germany and also like sex and masturbation and stuff? so. fun. theres a rape scene in it though, but the musical really waters it down from the play so be warned

fun home - SO GOOD. based off of the comics by alison bechdel who u might recognize because she made the bechdel test. its about alison and her growing up and her relationship with her sexuality and all that jazz, and also her relationship with her father who was gay and killed himself and her dysfunctional family and yada yada, theres a lot. it translates VERY well on stage imo

natasha pierre and the great comet of 1812 - objectively the best musical playing on broadway rn tbqh. its based off of war and peace, yeah, THAT war and peace. dave malloy has condensed some of the classic into a musical with some pretty funky tunes. (its an “electropop opera”, reminds me of hamilton in the sense that it is very innovative&new music-wise)

bare a pop opera - my favorite musical ever but be warned there is some sad shit, like really sad, i dont want to spoil stuff because i watched it with no idea waht it was about and uh great experience but, its very gay angst. peter and jason are Gays(TM) at a catholic boarding school. 

falsettos - also one of my favorites, its gay and jewish and also a genius comedy. its comprised of two one-act musicals and tells the story of marvin, who is frankly a bit of an ass, who is gay and cheating on his wife when his affair is Revealed and then his wife falls in love w his therapist and his son is like whats goin on and its a wild ride. 

rent - another iconic musical very much the one you listen to on repeat when youre going through your emo phase but youre a theatre kid. about some pals in nyc who really arent the most fortunate bunch in the whole world. 

american idiot - this is also an emo musical..based off of the album by green day which is also good as hell. i prefer a lot of the music from the musical to the album because im a fake fan but whatever. tells the story of johnny and his pals. tw for drugs and war and some oher stuff probably. its...sort of hard to understand? maybe?

waitress - real good stuff!!!!! based on the indie movief rom like, 2009 i think. sarah bareilles wrote the music n shes currently playing jenna so u know its quality... basically about jenna whos a waitress and she finds out shes pregnant. she struggles with what she wants to do with her future and how her babies future fits into that. tw for abuse (tho overall its pretty comedic, not the abuse just the overall show)

[vampire-core]

for the pride asks: 10-29? B3c

aaaaaaaa ty babe!!!!!!!!

ask me gay shit B3c

10. who has been your supportive idol(s) in your self discovery?

tbh my sister!!!! shes openly gay and its been Rlly helpful to have her around :3c

11. tell us about your first crush

my first CRUSH crush was prob selena gomez/alex russo?? like the character she played in wizards of waverly place; my first Conscious crush was prob on this girl in my grade, Mary. she has. rlly nICE LEGS SDKJFHSKDLJF

12. what sort of advice do you have to lgbtq+ teens?

i AM one but uuuuuuuh research and dont be upset if your self-discovery takes time :3c

13. have you come out to friends and family?

yup!!!! im out to my sister and dad and most of my friend group, +some other random ppl :3c

14. how do you feel about the term “coming out”?

tbh i dont have a concrete opinion??? so i cant rlly answer that sdfjksdf

15. do you believe there is a “closet” to come out of?

i. dont rlly understand the question tbh--

16. any tips on coming out?

uuuh make sure the person isnt a Bigot first off bc thatll be awkward and potentially dangerous, uuuuh be prepared for questions/maybe explaining terms, and in general if ur anxious its Okay bc goddamn is it worrying coming out

17. what’s your biggest pet peeve when it comes to lgbtq+ characterization in media?

THE WLW CHARACTERS ALWAYS BEING KILLED OFF, WHAT THE FUCK, DUDE WHAT THE FUCK STOP

18. what’s your favorite part(s) of lgbtq+ characterization in media?

tbh i love when lgbtq+ couples are loving and supportive and nice and just???? my heart is Warm

19. what did your teachers say about the lgbtq+ community in school?

im a part of the younger generation, and so far ive only been met with support!!! i even have a few gay teachers who run my schools gsa :3c i got into a nice talk w a teacher my sisters age once abt homophobia too which was p cool

20. do you practice safe sex with the same gender?

im a virgin but i plan on it so??

21. what’s an absolute turn off for you in the opposite/same gender?

uuuuuh pprob the playing hard to get thing bc i am. Anxietee and will interpret it as that im Not Wanted

22. what’s an absolute turn on for you in the opposite/same gender?

mmmmmprob being like??? genuinely Sweet and accepting??? +freckles are always nice B3c

23. how do you feel about lgbtq+ clubs/apps/websites?

i rlly like them tbh!!!! i joined a new one recently and i rlly like it (someone from it is coming over tomorrow actually B3) and its just???? i like being able to Congregate

24. how do you feel about the term “queer”?

tbh i personally like and use it, but i can def get why ppl wouldnt like it and i wouldnt use it in front of ppl uncomfy w it!!

25. how does your country view the lgbtq+ community?

im in the US, so p good but still not the Best??

26. favorite lgbtq+ actor?

mmmmeither thomas sanders or neil patrick harris :3c

27. any tups for straight people on how to handle lgbtq+ events/news?

like. ask about it/try to Help if you can but dont act like you’re personally affected by it if you’re not lgbtq+ ?? and listen to the ppl bein Affected by it (sorry if that came out Weird)

28. what’s the most annoying question you’ve ever gotten?

“if you havent had sex, how do you know you like girls?” like. if you havent had sex when ur younger how do you know ur STRAIGHT pat jesus

(that came from my therapist. shes p accepting tho so)

29. how do you feel about receiving questions about your sexuality/gender?

i like that ppl are willing to learn and answer them if i can :3c

[lawlliets]

personal post / dont feel the need to read or reply im just venting abt myself and my life and my head and its super super SUPER SUPER long and i have nowhere else to vent besides this website and if youre wondering its just me venting about my anxiety and my life and myself, nothing else

[boleynns]

LOOSE ENDS, ASSHOLES.

I wrote this 3 days ago, because I just KNEW they were going to fuck it all up.

^PHOTO OF A LIAR, for reference. LONG list of pissed off thoughts below.

ON YOUR WATCH.

That Molly scene in TFP was so horrendous. I don’t even ship them at all, but really. How much of an asshole do you have to be???

How did John and Sherlock survive a bomb by jumping through glass windows and landing 2 stories down on the concrete with no injuries?

How did they get on that boat?

WHY were they on that boat?

WTF was that imaginary plane bullshit???

NO ONE CARES THAT THE DOG ISNT REAL, ARE YOU KIDDING ME

Why did Mary think John would pull away from Sherlock if she died, if she didn’t know she was going to die saving Sherlock? If she’d died ANY other way, John would have no reason to pull away.

Why did Mary give Sherlock the 10000% worst advice in the world (seriously, who tf tells their “friend”, who is a DRUG ADDICT, “GO FUCK YOURSELF on drugs, and GO DIE on purpose” on the random ass off chance that John would find this out in time???)?

Why did Mary have a slip of paper to knock Sherlock out prepared ahead of time?

Why did Mary tell Sherlock and John that “A.G.R.A.” was her initials, when if they had just looked at the fucking drive they would see her real name?

Why was she SOOOOO worried that Sherlock and John would look at the drive, if all that was on there were A.G.R.A.’s identities???

Why did Mary shoot Sherlock directly in the chest point blank, which did kill him enough that the doctors GAVE UP, if she wasn’t trying to fucking kill him dead forever?

Why would Mary not recognize Vivian (or at least, her voice) if A.G.R.A. worked with her?

If Mycroft dealt with freelancers, why did he not know Mary wasn’t fucking MARY???

Why would Mary name her daughter after an alias that could get said daughter KILLED??? AND WE FUCKING KNOW THAT NAME WAS DANGEROUS, BECAUSE MARY LEFT IT BEHIND TO BECOME “MARY MORSTAN” YOU IDIOTS

What did John’s letter to Sherlock say? If is wasn’t going to be addressed, why the fuck would you put it in the episode??

Why did Molly deliver such a hard “John would rather have anyone but you. Anyone” message if it had NO POINT.

Where did the baby go when everyone the baby knew was at John’s “Therapist’s” office at the beginning of TLD? And don’t give me that “it was with friendS” crap, literally only Sherlock, Molly, and Mrs. Hudson went to that kid’s babyshower for fuck sake, John has no other friends.

If you can’t handle the placement of a baby for ONE EPISODE, don’t write one into your show FOR LITERALLY NO REASON.

What was Sherlock’s reoccurring dream that he was telling Ella? Why put that in if it wasn’t important?

If Mary isn’t bad, and therefore wasn’t working with “Faith” and Culverton to set Sherlock up to die (which would have been a perfect and interesting conspiracy), HOW did “Faith” and Culverton know Sherlock would be drugged up enough to fall into their trap??

WTF was the POINT of Eurus texting with John IF SHE WASNT WORKING WITH MARY to mess with Him and Sherlock? Literally ZERO point to the “plot”.

Also, we see that John and Eurus see eachother for a 2nd time at the bus stop. I thought it was important, even though y’all acted like all they did was text, BUT NOPE just another loose end.

TD-12 was absolutely useless, and you spent SO MUCH time on it. 

why did mary keep repeating villain lines (“Miss me?” multiple times, “Anyone!” multiple times in her video, literally fuck off)

If mary had time to jump 5 feet to take a bullet after its already been shot than sherlock had time to jump out of the way you idiots

also the irony of your holier-than-thou deduction sequence when Sherlock got shot, about how big spurts of dramatic blood only happens in movies? You literally fucked yourself.

zero point to Sherlock and John’s extended “ROMANTIC LOVE WILL COMPLETE YOUUUUU” scene on every level, went no where

speaking of that scene, how did Sherlock hear “Mary” say that he should wear the hat???? HUH>?

Mrs. Hudson WATCHED Mary’’s DVD with sherlock, why was she all “OH, wonder what this is, what could it be, WOW LOOK JOHN its your wife???” later with John and Mycroft WHEN SHE KNEW SHERLOCK WAS PROBABLY DYING

Also why would she just let John watch that cold, knowing Mary’s face would show up??

Why did you make Irene a lesbian if you were going to keep making her ride Sherlock’s dick via text message AGAIN.

I’m sure she would want to tell you this if she was here, so I’ll relay the message: LITERALLY GO FUCK YOURSELVES, YOU “SHERLOCK CAN TURN A LESBIAN WOMAN STRAIGHT, HES JUST THAT AMAZING, NO HOMO!!!” ASSHOLES

why was John still crying about his no homo bro being dead after two years, no offense to my best friend but I will think of you really fondly but probably not be going to therapy forever and being all “I literally am so heartbroken that i cant even say the things that i wanted to say to him when he was alive”

speaking of that thing that he couldn’t say out loud to Ella the Therapist: i guess he just really wanted to tell sherlock “No homo tho”, just to make sure he knew that before he died

speaking of things unsaid - I guess the serious thing that sherlock was going to say to john on the tarmac, that he chose not to say for absolutely no decernable reason, was “Bro, I’m gonna miss you, bro! We had some good bro times bro, NO HOMO!!1!” and then they do that back-slap hug that guys do so things don't get too homo

no offense to the prop department, but that light-up skull, that would be either lit or not lit or COMPLETELY BLACK, was bullshit

speaking of bullshit: kindly shove all of those elephants up your ass

including that Take-Out menu on Mycroft’s fridge. I hope you get a paper-cut that never heals.

i might as well have not even bothered taking notes on these episodes, when I could have literally never watched the show before, not cared at all, and been totally fulfilled by everything by not giving a shit about details and character arcs and, you know, literally all of ACD’s original works.

OMG SHERLOCK HAS A SISTER, I don’t fucking care.

AW POOR MARY, John and her were clearly soooo in love!! - says a person who thinks couples that don’t want to be together even a little are super romantic

literally he was trying to leave his marriage like a month after it started, literally go fuck yourself

Your show made less sense, in terms of emotion and character arcs, than Guy Ritchie’s cash grab movies. Yeah. I said it.

“Look at us both”. YEAH, LOOK AT YOURSELVES IN THE MIRROR.

oh wait i forgot, you don’t know what a mirror is. what is literature? what are emotions? idk, lets make mary gasp for breathe and say “you were my whole world!!!” to john even though that makes zero fucking sense for her character or their relationship at all and does huge disservice to them both LOL

Mary could have been the most Awesome Badass Mastermind EVER but you fucked her

An Emotional Arc: Its this thing where characters (who, like people) have emotions (CRAZZY i know), and they start in one place emotionally, and end somewhere new through the story! Lets see:

Sherlock: Starts as a suave, kinda swashbuckling guy who tries to tidy up his apartment for John, asks him to dinner, and basically blushes at John’s attention. In the middle: a bit of an asshole, but one who literally tries to die for John over and over, and literally COMES BACK TO LIFE from a FATAL gunshot bc his subconsious doesn’t want to leave John with Mary. End? “Sometimes I text Irene, just like you text your side-chick! No Homo For Life, RIGHT??? Don’t think about how every action I take is to keep you safe or happy, lol”

John: Starts as an emotionally repressed, suicidal, PTSD stricken loner who is immediately enamored with Sherlock’s brain, and literally kills a man like 1 day after they meet. Middle: A bit of an asshole who is horrible at understanding that Sherlock is NOT a robot without feelings - but an asshole who is willing to die for him, and with him, but who has major trust issues. End? “I wish I had REALLY cheated on Mary with Bus Girl, I can’t believe I missed my chance! Also, even though I’m reacting extremely jealously to you texting Irene, I think you should hit that! Now hold me while I cry, and then lets get cake while my baby cries on the floor like a Sim somewhere NO HOMEO”

I will never let you forget this.

Congrats actually, you HAVE made history! You’ve made a Historically Huge Fuck Up.

Your show’s depth is thinner than Donald Trump’s skin.

200+ adaptations of Sherlock Holmes, no courage present - oh, except for that one parody “Oklahomo” one (thanks for including Sherlock tweeting an “Oklahoma!” reference also! if I had balls, that would’ve been a kick to them!).

LOL Sherlock and John - literally so hilarious!! All those people whining “They’re Not GAY that gross, Doyle would be rolling in his grave if he found out people thought that!” and “NO! SHERLOCK IS AN EMOTIONLESS ROBOT except he can fuck irene I'm okay with that for some reason”? They were all right! What a fucking joke.

I guess “Could he daily feel a stab of hunger for you, and find nourishment at the very sight of you? Yes [he’s in love with you]. But do you ache for him?” meant nothing—OH WAIT that’s from a show that actually textually acknowledged the feelings of love between it’s two main characters. And they didn’t even say “No homo!” afterwards?? I can’t believe it.

don’t ever ask your audience to pay attention on a subtextual level again. clearly, you can’t handle it.

also: I honestly couldn’t give a shit about your endless and constant derision and annoyance with people asking about the relationship between the MAIN CHARACtTERS OF YOUR FUCKING SHOW get over yourselves, and i really hope somehow ACD comes back as a ghost to haunt you one christmas, just to tell you straightt to your stupid faces that you fucked up, and how sad he is that it will always be 1895 - because nothing ever changes, and they will be stuck there forever, out of time.

how dare you bring Oscar Wilde and Freddie Mercury into this mess.

Your intentions don’t matter - what matters is that I would have been better off not paying attention to literally ANY details, not caring one ounce about the characters, and just tuning in as a completely casual viewer. 

The real lesson was “Caring is not an advantage.”, and that is sad.

And the real Final Problem? “It’s not about the characters, its about some stupid ass dog and a stupid ass ‘Saw’ house, and who gives a shit about the rest.

Congratulations - I no longer care!

[samanthasroberts]

Southern Charm Recap: Can They Get Any More White?

I have emerged from my two-day hangover solely to write this weeks recap. Guess killing brain cells is one of my hobbies now.

When we left off I wasnt sure if I was Team Kathryn or Team Whitney, and I dont think thats ever going to get resolved tbh. However, I did just notice Kathryns facial expression in the opening sequence more or less sums up her entire personality.

Thomas and JD, back at it again with the polo. Cause that ended really well the last time. Can they get any more white?

Whitney has some fruit salad and is making coffee and Larissas like, If that’s cooking, I’m about to be the next winner of.

Whitney trying to explain what going steady means to Larissa is pretty hilarious tho.

Kathryn andKody? Corey? Fuck, I forgetare getting a seaweed facial or some shit, AKA Bravo is pampering them so they can talk shit in style. Nice.

Kathryn is bummed that once she has her baby she has to go home alone with her two children.

Kathryn: Im a 24-year-old soon-to-be mother of two. If you dont think Im overwhelmed and nervous then you dont think.

Wow that was like, unnecessarily aggressive Kath.

Cooper? Cooper! Calls Thomas a 50-year-old playboy and is like,

Cooper: Instead of letting it frustrating you I just say let it strengthen you.

Cooper is the moral compass this show needs.

Meanwhile Thomas is sipping bourbon with JD on his porch because Kathryn really needs him.

JD: Hows the baby? Thomas: The doctor said fine… JD looks skeptical, because Im sure he knows better than a trained doctor.

JD: Kathryn moving up the due date seems awfully peculiarseems suspect.

JD is a regular Hardy Boy over here.

JD: I think women dont like being asked for paternity tests.

NO FUCKING SHIT.

JD is like, and Thomas is like, Its clear hes forgotten who hes about to have a kid with because Kathryn is NOT going to be down with Thomas basically accusing her of slutting it up and then trying to trap him into fatherhood. JUST SAYING.

Its date night with Craig and Naomie. Craig chooses going to L.A. over the biggest event for his company, because hes never been to L.A. before. And Craig wonders why hes not allowed to head a bourbon division. I don’t foresee this ending well AT ALL. Craig, youre a fucking idiot and for once Naomie is in the right to tell you youre fucking up.

Craig: Do you see how hard Im trying to justify this?

Yeah, because you KNOW YOURE IN THE WRONG. Thats literally what justification is.

Cameran and Landon meet up for a candle-making class and I am kind of jealous because that low-key sounds fun. Landons explaining her travel guide to Cam, so Im going to take a quick nap.

Cameran: I think its hard for Landon bc she was a typical Southern stereotype of the woman who got married young and was taken care of and she doesnt have that anymore.

Wait, how is this the first Im hearing of this failed first marriage? How has this NEVER come up before this season??

Cameran: So any man prospects? Landon: IDK not really its kind of sad and pathetic.

Landon is like Same tho. Cameran: Do you think the reason youre not meeting anyone is because you want something to work out with Shep? Landon:…Yeah

Cameran and I are both like, FINALLY!

*Cue a montage of them looking really couple-y* I’m rooting for you guys!

Landon brings up every middle schoolers dilemma which is that if she dates Shep, then shell lose him as a friend. Can we get like, a violin quartet to score some melodramatic music or something?

Craig and Shep make it to L.A. and Whitneys bachelor pad is sick. I guess this is what that Bravo money gets you. On an unrelated note, I have a very compelling idea for a new reality show, if you wanna get on board Bravo, Ill get you in at the ground level.

Craig: I wouldve had FOMO if I hadnt gotten to come out heresothanks.

Whitney: Meh whatevs

Whitney: #NewCraig has taken on this persona thats like, not chill dude.

Whitney basically lets it go with the caveat that he may never fully trust Craig again. Eh, Im sure theyll be fine.

Shep: You know when youre perfectly drunk and youre really good at pool? Is that like when Im really drunk and I think Im really good at dancing?

Classic Shmosby.

Larissa crashes the boys weekend which is not at all chill. Larissa is, I guess, the WGG of the group.

Shep: Should I change? I dont want to look all fratty and Southern.

Well that ship sailed like, approximately 36 years ago. Whitney makes a joke about waking up in the morning covered in blood and vomit. Was he secretly with me and my friends this weekend? Unclear. V. possible.

These two slutty-looking blondes show up and Shep is in fucking heaven. Craig low-key wants to kill himself.

Whitney: The goofy, disarming thing works in Charleston but not so much in L.A.

I’m sorry, Whitney, but who you callin goofy? You’re not exactly a chiseled Greek god over there. Whitney takes a casual shot at Craigs bourbon knowledge, or lack thereof, and now that hes gotten that off his chest this friendship is back on track.

The aftermath of Whitneys party looks a lot like the scene I dealt with Sunday morning. So, like, maybe they really were there.

Whitney: The marker of a good boys weekend is a pool of vomit with a partially digested meatball in the middle.

Whitney talks about how Shep didnt get any last night and Whitney said he had a meeting with Hand Solo which made me LOL.

Sheps like, and Im getting soooo mf sick of this trope. I am convinced Shep just acts this way because y’all expect him to be a fuckboy and nobody challenges him or holds him to a higher standard. Also, there’s just no way his dick games that good. THERE IS NO WAY.

JD is on the phone with Paula and SURPRISE, Craig basically didnt do shit for this festival yet still wants to be head of the bourbon division. The entitlement is strong with this one. Craigs phone is dead, party casualty, so JD is calling around to all Craigs friends like the angry dad he is. Did I mention this was dumb af, Craig?

Also, LMAO at how hungover they all look. Their hangovers are giving me life.

Craig: I just feel like Im being used to do all the bitchwork and its annoying. I lied, THIS is the whitest thing to happen on this show.

Shep: People take work too seriously. What happened to just drinking beer and laughing your balls off?

Yeah Shep, I think this may be why your restaurant is struggling to pay the rent.

Thomas and Kathryn are discussing the ins and outs of labor, which I will file away for future knowledge. Thomas calls Kathryn an expert at giving birth which is like, kind of rude lol. But I guess also accurate?

Kathryns opening up to Thomas about being alone this time around, looking up at him with big doe eyes, and Thomas is like,SHUT DOWN.

Thomas: The timing is really bad for me, could you just like, not give birth rn?

Kathryn: Thats why I like having you around, youre like a calming presence IDK why.

Kathryn, do you know what calming means? Im starting to think not.

Back at Whitneys, some massage therapist named Megan shows up, and Shep clearly has a boner.

Shep: So youre gonna give us all massages now?

Megan: Its like holding space to really connect more with yourself.

Shep is blatantly sexually harassing this poor girl. JFC. This is so creepy. Tone it the fuck down.

JD & Co. is launching his bourbon line at Charleston Cup, this horse race in Charleston. Craig is nowhere to be found, shockingly.

JD: Work isnt all roses and cherries. Sometimes its dirt and trenches.

Im putting that on a needlepoint for my office.

Sheps not going because his grandpa died. OK thats actually like, very sad. My condolences.

We will now resume with our regularly scheduled program of shit-talking.

Craig is taking forever to get readyCraig and Chad from are both the secret Betches interns.

Craig is hungover with an upset stomach and a sinus infection, which is literally what happens to me every time I drink. AKA right now. We’ll get through this, Craig. Emergen-c and green tea all mf day.

Cams like,

Craig apparently slept in and didnt do anything to help JD set up. Which, Im not surprised by, but again, is a really bad move for when youre trying to show initiative.

Cameran: #NewCraig is starting to run its course because at this point hes becoming #OldCraig

Dannis dropping some random whiskey fun facts and Craig is like, Fuck the bourbon division, Im not sure Craig is qualified to have any job at Gentry HQ, PERIOD. How the fuck is he going to be a lawyer if he never wants to do work? He’s gonna have a rude awakening if he ever makes it to first-year associate (I have heard).

Craig is there for all of two minutes and is already like, fuck this Im leaving.

Oh JK Craig didnt actually leave. JD gives a speech and what do you wanna bet Craig is gonna get shafted in this thank-you speech?

Wait for it..

BOOM. SHAFTED. I called it.

Cameran is so into this race its scary. How much money did she put down on that horse? Judging by her reaction to losing, Id say a lot.

Once again JD is dressed like a 1920s fat cat. Live your truth, JD.

JDs like, and Craig is like,

JD: Do you think you should have gone out of town? Craig: I mean Ive never had to give up a trip for a job so

Oh boy, Craig. I fear for you in the real world. I really do.

At Kathryns, she and Thomas are eating dinner. Kathryns going into labor tomorrow morning. I hope they dont actually film her birth. That would be kind of fucked.

Thomas: I want to have a traditional family, hear the shnookums running around, hear the house fill with laughter.

Lol, “shnookums” only makes me think of one thing:

Thomas: I still love Kathryn, I care about her but Im afraid a day of reckoning is forthcoming.

UH OH.

Kathryn asks Thomas how he feels and he says hes apprehensive and shes like, BRUH, FEEL APPREHENSIVE?!

Kathryn: If I say anything mean to you tomorrow just give me a free pass.

OK thats fair, she is giving birth and all.

Kathryn gets up and eats some generic brand Lucky Charms before giving birth. I take it all back, she really is struggling with money.

OK low blow. Sorry. Kind of.

Seeing the sheer amount of diapers in Kathryns house is enough to make me never forget to take my birth control.

Thomas: For some reason, maybe through divine intervention we were brought together. Steven Spielberg I believe said, Ive made a lot of movies, but my greatest creation of all was a child.

So I wonder at what point Thomas is gonna be like Who am I kidding, theyre gonna drag that out at least over the course of another epsiode.

OK enough shit-talking from me. That baby is cute. What did they name him?? How they gonna leave us hanging like that?

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/03/16/southern-charm-recap-can-they-get-any-more-white/