#this isn't the first time i've been down about a sequel's story

[writingfics-passingtime]

Crying Wolf

This fic can be read as a standalone, or as a part 2 to Fearless

synopsis: You notice Bucky pulling away from everyone. Steve says the best way to help is be yourself - to not treat him any differently. But now, thanks to Loki, teasing Bucky might come with some consequences.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x female reader (flirtatious), Loki x reader (platonic)

cw: swearing, ruthless tickling of the reader, mentions of trauma, inappropriate jokes

word count: ~5700

minors dni: this fic does not contain smut, but contains a suggestive storyline between the reader and an adult-aged character. I am not comfortable with engagement from anyone under the age of 18. Thank you for your understanding and respect.

note: I've had quite a few of you in my inbox and replies kindly asking for a sequel to Fearless, and it's been on the prompt list for a very long while. This is both a sequel and a standalone; you don't need to read Fearless to read this, but the story might make more sense if you do. I wrote Fearless several years ago, so please forgive me if this feels like a big departure from the initial tone. I hope you enjoy it all the same.

special thank you to sunflower anon for the plot idea 🌻

Bucky hasn't come to group training in three weeks.

He's quieter than usual, which is really saying something. You’ve seen it before, in the eyes of others who’ve been through the wringer; that distant stare, the haunted look that never quite leaves. You know it well enough to recognise it on him.

But the thing with Bucky is that he doesn’t want help. He doesn’t want to talk about it, and he sure as hell doesn’t want to be seen as a victim or a burden.

So, you're standing there, fists clenched around the worn-out edge of your training gloves, eyes locked on Steve, the only one who might have any insight. You're working through your own sparring drills, but your thoughts keep flickering back to Bucky. His absence from this moment. You can’t get him out of your head.

Steve is sweat-slicked and a little breathless, but still as composed as ever. You throw a quick jab. He easily dodges.

"Hey," you say, standing down, shoulders dropping. "What’s going on with Bucky? Why isn't he here?"

He drops his guard. "He’s been through a lot," Steve says, like that wasn’t the understatement of the century.

You roll your eyes, shaking your head, but Steve keeps going, voice quieter, more measured. "He’s... isolating."

"Yeah, I’ve noticed." You pick at the tape around your hands and then pull your firsts back to fighting stance. Steve is ready for you. You throw a hard punch at him this time, the impact sharp against his arm, but your mind is elsewhere. "Is there anything I can do?"

Steve steps back, wiping his brow with the back of his hand, and looks at you like he's searching for something. You don’t know what, but you can feel the weight of it, the way his gaze lingers. "Just… be yourself. Just show up, treat him like you normally would." He tilts his head to the side, a wry smile pulling into his cheek. "Push his buttons. Y'know, like you usually do."

You let out a humourless laugh, wiping some sweat off your forehead. "I didn't want to push him. Antagonising a super soldier doesn’t seem like the best way to go about it."

He cracks a grin, one of those rare smiles you’ve seen from him, and his eyes soften. "That’s the point. He’s tired of being that guy. The super soldier. He needs to feel normal again. Don't pull back - you won't push him away. He’ll come around."

You stare at him for a second, trying to decide if he’s being serious. He’s got that look in his eyes, the one that says he knows exactly what he’s talking about. But you’re still skeptical.

"If you say so," you mutter, tying your gloves tight.

Steve chuckles, patting you on the shoulder. "Good. Now run drill twenty-two."

.

.

The next morning, you walk into the kitchen expecting the usual chaos of breakfast prep and clinking plates. But it's quiet today. Too quiet. You see Steve and Bucky sitting at the table. Steve’s holding a mug of coffee, but Bucky… Bucky’s got a book in his hands. It’s a small thing, but the fact that he’s holding it, actually reading, is a rare moment of peace.

You pause, leaning against the doorframe, studying them for a second. It’s not often you get to see the two of them like this. Calm, together, in a room bathed in morning light.

Bucky’s got that unreadable expression. He’s focused on his book, but you can tell it’s more out of habit than actual engagement. His eyes keep flickering to the edges of the pages. His mind is elsewhere.

And then, an idea comes to you.

You walk in like you own the place - a quiet confidence that comes from knowing exactly how to mess with someone. You grab the coffee pot, pouring yourself a cup, but you don’t take your eyes off Bucky.

"Hey, Bucky," you call out, cocking an eyebrow, "you want some more coffee with your smut?"

Bucky’s brow furrows, and he looks up from his book, confused. "Smut?" he asks, the word foreign on his tongue. Steve glances up, and they both just look at you, genuinely clueless.

You take a casual sip of your coffee, leaning against the counter like you’ve got all the time in the world. "You know, smut," you say with a smirk. "Spice."

He blinks. "Spice?" He looks back at his book, flipping the page like he’s searching for something.

You chuckle. "Yeah, sex scenes. In books. The dirty stuff."

Bucky’s face flushes a deep red, his eyes darting back to the pages, and his lips start to part as if he’s about to protest.

"No need to lie," you say, giving him a mock look of doubt. "I’ve read it. No judgment."

Bucky’s face looks like he might combust. "There’s nothing like that in here," he says quickly, eyes shifting between you and Steve like he’s about to combust, but Steve’s choking on his coffee, trying not to laugh.

You bite the inside of lip, trying to hide your grin. "Are you sure? Because I swear I saw you flick to the page where it gets real spicy."

He looks between you and Steve, horror creeping into his features. "You’re… you’re joking," he says, half in disbelief.

You smirk, lifting your coffee to your lips. "It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Buck. It's popular. Hell, you’re probably the only one who’s hiding it."

Steve’s snorting into his coffee, clearly enjoying this, and Bucky’s still looking between the two of you like he’s caught in some bizarre fever dream.

You take another sip of your coffee, pretending to be nonchalant, even though you’re holding back a laugh. "Not gonna lie, I’ve read far worse than what's in that book you're holding."

His face flushes deeper, and his gaze snaps between you and Steve, who’s barely holding in a snicker behind his coffee mug. There’s a moment where Bucky just doesn’t know what to say, his lips parting like he’s about to spill something out, but the words don’t come.

And then, like a switch, the realisation hits him.

You watch as the corner of his mouth twitches in that small, tight smile you’ve seen before, the one that doesn’t come around often. But this time, there’s something more in it. A shift. You’ve broken through just a little, and now the teasing, the banter - it feels different. The air between you is charged, in a way you can’t quite put into words. It’s the first time in weeks you’ve seen any kind of genuine expression on Bucky’s face.

"You’re messing with me," he says, voice dropping to something lower, darker. The challenge in his tone makes your heart race just a little faster.

You lean back against the counter, your coffee cup held loosely in one hand, your expression deliberately neutral. "I’d never mess with you, Bucky," you say, a sly grin tugging at the corners of your mouth. "I’m smarter than that. Just trying to start a book club."

He doesn’t respond right away, just watches you with those penetrating steel-blue eyes, and you feel something twist in your chest. He points a finger at you, glaring with a mix of annoyance and amusement. "Tell Steve you’re joking."

There’s a tension in the air now, something that wasn’t there before. Something unspoken. Maybe it’s the way he’s looking at you, or maybe it’s the fact that for the first time in a long while, you’re really looking at him.

Steve’s chuckle breaks the moment, and you glance at him, a little relieved for the distraction. But Bucky doesn’t look away. His gaze doesn’t soften, but it’s sharper now - focused, intent. There’s an edge to his stare that makes your pulse quicken, and you can’t decide whether it’s because of the game you’re playing or something else entirely.

"You’re ridiculous," he mutters, his voice warmer than before, though still carrying that familiar edge.

Your breath hitches for a moment, and you can’t tell if it’s the sudden softness of his voice or the way his proximity makes everything seem a little bit… closer than it should be. But you stand your ground, meeting his eyes head-on.

But then, Steve clears his throat loudly, and just like that, the moment snaps back into place. The tension fades, but it doesn’t disappear. Not entirely.

Bucky looks at Steve, then back to you, and finally sighs in defeat. You smile to yourself, trying to hold in the satisfaction as Bucky gives you a glare with an undeniably playful edge. "I’ll let you off the hook. For now."

But as Bucky grabs his book again, his fingers brushing over the pages, you can feel it - the warmth that's simmering. It’s fragile, but it’s real. And for the first time in days, Bucky looks like he’s in the moment, not lost in the past.

He's here.

.

.

You’re mid-sentence, arguing that the protagonist’s internal conflict didn’t pay off, when the quiet creak of the library door pulls both your and Loki’s attention.

Bucky steps inside, the dim lamp light cutting across his face. His jaw’s tight, but his eyes gleam with something unreadable. He’s got the book in hand - the book - and you already know what he’s going to say before the words even leave his mouth.

He lifts the novel slightly, dark gaze flicking from Loki to you. "No smoot."

Your mouth twitches. "You mean smut, Buck."

Loki, of course, is the first to speak. He closes his own book with deliberate flair, settling into the leather wingback like a king on a throne. “What's this?”

Bucky's eyes don't leave you. "Not a single sex scene in here. Not even a kiss."

You exhale slowly, fighting to keep your expression neutral. "Must’ve been reading the wrong edition," you murmur, reaching for your tea.

Loki gives you a look that could be called gleeful if it weren’t laced with such dry malice. "Please, darling," he drawls. "If you’re going to gaslight the poor man, at least try to make it subtle."

Bucky watches you, head tilted slightly, his brow raised in amusement. "So you were joking," he says slowly. "Trying to get a rise outta me."

You lift your brows. "Trying?"

You don’t mean to sound breathless, but you kind of are. Because Bucky isn’t just amused - he’s focused. The kind of focus he gets when he’s squaring up with someone. His weight shifted just forward enough, like he’s waiting for something.

Loki, however, is thriving on the mischief. He conjures another book from thin air, holding it aloft between his fingertips, the cover glinting with gold leaf and something entirely indecent on the front.

"If you're is truly disappointed by the lack of literary debauchery," Loki says to Bucky, tone smooth and unbothered, "you might prefer this. Popular on Midgard, I hear. Something about dukes and corsets."

You cough into your tea, trying to keep it together. "Shit. Not sure I'd take Loki's suggestion for this stuff, Buck."

Loki's glare swings to you. "And why not?"

Bucky huffs a laugh, but it’s short-lived. His attention’s on you, too, gaze narrowing. "You should be careful who you're messing with."

Before you can respond, Loki cuts in, his voice sly and dangerous with the air of someone about to set the room on fire.

"If you’re struggling with her mouth, Barnes..."

You snap your head toward him. "Don’t."

Loki’s smile turns slow and wicked. "Oh? He doesn't know?"

"Know what?" Bucky asks, now looking to Loki.

"Loki," you growl, the warning sharp now.

But he ignores it entirely, already too far gone. He gestures lazily toward you, his tone almost sing-song. "She’s incredibly ticklish, Barnes. Mouthy little thing until you find the right spot. Then it’s all helpless laughter and desperate apologies."

Your heart lurches. "Loki-"

But the trickster’s already leaned back, positively smug. "Writhing, squealing," he continues, voice full of mock nostalgia. "It's delightful, really. Highly effective. I suggest you try it."

Bucky’s attention snaps to you. Sharp. Curious. Dangerous.

And then he moves.

Not fast - not overt. But his steps are steady, and your breath hitches the second he crosses into your space. You sink deeper into your armchair, instinct or gravity, you can't say which.

Bucky follows, slow and calculated, until he’s bracing one hand against the back of your chair, the other resting casually on the armrest, caging you in with practiced ease.

His head dips just slightly as he leans over you.

Your spine locks up. Your pulse is a drum.

You force yourself to tilt your chin up, meet his gaze. But it’s not easy - not with the way he’s looking at you, not entirely amused anymore. This is something else - playful, yes, but edged with something sharp. Something primal.

You don’t dare move.

His voice is low when it hits you. "You ticklish, sweetheart?"

Your skin lights up like static.

You don’t flinch. You can’t. He’s too close. Close enough to see the tendons in his neck, the glint of his dog tags, and the faint smirk pulling at his stubbled mouth.

You swallow, hard. "Bucky, I-"

"One more word about smut," he murmurs, "and I’ll make you regret it."

Your lips twitch.

Because this - this - is good. Bucky, letting loose. Teasing. You could almost cry from the relief of seeing him like this. Not haunted. Not withdrawn. Just a guy giving you hell.

"Understood?" he adds, voice low and rough.

You nod, trying to keep your grin in check. "Cross my heart."

He studies you a second longer. And then, without another word, he straightens and walks away - calm, controlled, leaving the scent of coffee and leather and adrenaline in his wake.

You exhale once he’s gone, sagging into the chair like your bones gave out.

And then, of course, Loki.

The bastard crosses one leg over the other, examining you with a look that says he’s just found his favourite soap opera and you’re the main character.

"Well," he says, smiling like a serpent. "That was electric."

"Don’t," you say quickly, pointing at him.

He raises a brow. "I’m merely observing. Stark’s infrared sensors probably picked up the heat signature."

"You’re such a dick," you mutter, crossing your arms tightly across your chest as you glare at him. You can't keep the edge from your voice. "Seriously, telling Bucky to tickle me? What the hell?"

Loki’s eyes flick up from the book in his hands, his lips twitching like he’s trying to hold back an insufferable grin. He doesn’t even flinch under your stare, too amused by your annoyance. Of course he is.

"Oh no," he says with exaggerated sympathy, looking up just enough to give you that devilish grin of his. "The handsome super soldier might pin you down and place his hands all over you. How ever will you survive?"

You glare harder and pick up your tea. "Whatever. You're still wrong about Hotchins in the third act."

Loki takes the cue and picks up your argument from where it left off as you try, and fail, to suppress the flutter of heat low in your belly.

.

.

It's the very next morning that you walk into the living room with the sort of easy confidence that comes from a good night’s sleep, a hot shower, and no immediate need to duck for cover... and you walk straight into a trap.

Steve and Banner are seated across opposite couches, coffee mugs in hand, data pads in the other, discussing something in quiet tones. Loki lounges like a bored cat - how he manages to drape himself across furniture like it was carved for him, you’ll never know. And Bucky...

Bucky’s seated on the end of another couch, boots planted on the ground, body relaxed but alert in that way of his. His eyes are lowered, reading. The book’s balanced in one hand, and the moment you see the cover, your steps slow.

Because you’ve read that one.

And that one is definitely not PG.

A laugh huffs out of you before you can stop it. "Oh my god. That book?"

Bucky doesn’t look up. But he goes very, very still.

You continue across the room, grin widening, genuinely excited. "How far are you? Wait - don’t answer that. Let me guess. Chapter fourteen?"

Steve chuckles into his mug, glancing over. "We know you were just messing with him the first time."

"I was, the other day," you say, hands up. "That book was clean. But this one..." You giggle, but you're actually kind of excited to discuss it with him- uh, the plot, that is.

But Bucky closes it slowly and tosses it down onto the table like it just insulted him.

He stands.

And something shifts.

It’s subtle. Just the tension in his shoulders, the way his head tips slightly to the side. But your stomach drops all the same.

Because you remember. His voice in your ear.

"One more word about smut, and I’ll make you regret it."

You laugh - nervously, this time. Hands up. "Hey now, hold on. This isn’t a repeat offence. I'm genuinely curious."

"Sure," Banner chuckles from the couch, not looking up from his data pad. "Totally sounds like curiosity. Not at all like a joke at his expense."

"Okay, wow, betrayal from all sides," you mutter, taking a small step back as Bucky starts toward you. "I’m just saying, I didn’t expect you to be reading that book of all books, I-"

He says nothing. Just takes another step.

Measured. Intentional.

You keep backing up. "Seriously, Bucky, I’m innocent this time. Genuinely. I wasn’t teasing you, I swear. I was-"

"Don’t run. Don't make me chase you," he says, voice low. "Just come here and take it."

Your heart spikes so hard it echoes in your ears. "Okay, see - that right there? That’s terrifying."

He takes another step. You bolt.

You turn, trying to whip around the couch-

-and slam full-speed into Loki’s chest.

Your breath leaves your lungs in a hard puff, and before you can untangle yourself, his fingers coil around your wrists. He ensnares you with far too much grace, and far too little resistance.

Then you glance over Loki’s shoulder. See the version of him still seated casually, still sipping tea.

Until it shimmers, and vanishes.

"Oh you son of a-" you gasp, already squirming. "You set me up - this was a trap!"

Loki chuckles, low and serpentine, in a voice only you can hear. "Who, me? Would I truly give Barnes a book I knew would provoke some commentary from you?"

Your stomach drops, you look up at him, breathless and flushed. "No..."

You tug at your arms, but Loki just tuts and holds you in place.

"C’mon," you try, turning to Bucky. "Truce. I didn’t mean anything this time. Just honest commentary."

Bucky smirks as he reaches you, the look in his eye somewhere between wicked and indulgent. "You always talk this much when you’re nervous?"

"I’m not nervous," you lie. "I’m smart. There’s a difference."

The two of them exchange a look, one that sends heat down your spine and makes your hands twitch in Loki’s grip.

"Let’s get her seated," Loki says lightly, dragging you toward an empty couch. "I’d hate for her knees to give out from anticipation."

"Oh fuck," you groan.

They ease you down - not rough, but not exactly gentle either. Before you can sit properly, Bucky swings a leg over your hips and settles, his weight pinning you in place.

"Steve? Bruce!?" You wriggle against your captors to no avail, shooting a desperate look to the bystanders. But they merely toast their mugs, a sign you're on your own. Your heart stutters as you turn back to Bucky and Loki.

You buck a little, instinctive panic fluttering in your stomach. "Guys- wait. Hang on-"

"Reasoning window closed," Bucky says calmly, adjusting his position. "You were warned."

Loki chuckles and pins your wrists above your head. "I believe Barnes has earned this one."

Bucky looks down at you, one eyebrow raised, the picture of mock deliberation. “Well? Where should I start, Loki?”

"Bucky, please-"

Loki smiles. "I’d hate to deny you the delight of discovery."

And then-

Bucky presses his fingers to your stomach.

You jerk violently and screech, the sound raw and high-pitched before devolving into a helpless laugh that rips from your chest like it’s been waiting days to break free.

"Fuck! No- Bucky!"

"Wow. You are so ticklish," he says, incredulous, like he’s just uncovered a national secret. He presses again, harder, and you twist, laughing uncontrollably as he digs into your sides.

Your muscles spasm. Your feet kick the cushions. Loki’s grip on your wrists is annoyingly effective.

"Wait, WAIT! I’m sorry!" you gasp, voice cracking from laughter. "I-I take it back! I take everything back!"

"Too late," Bucky says, smirking now, barely breathless himself from the effort.

Your laughter pitches higher as he shifts lower, targeting your hips, and your brain starts short-circuiting from the overload.

And through it all, even as your cheeks burn and your lungs scream, the warm, sharp heat of it stays with you-

He's laughing with you. Not at you.

He’s open. Present.

Alive.

So you brace to take your medicine.

Bucky's fingers scuttle lightly along your sides, dipping just beneath the hem of your shirt where skin meets air and nerves light up like a damn Christmas tree.

You lose it.

Your laugh is immediate - loud, cracked, breathless - and your entire body lurches like it’s trying to escape its own skin. You twist, squirm, kick, all of it completely fucking useless under the weight of a super soldier and the iron grip of a literal god.

"No- fuuuck, Bucky! I swear- I’m gonna-"

"Going to what?" he challenges, voice calm, maddeningly measured as he drags his fingers up your ribs, slow and deliberate. "Be more careful with your commentary next time?"

You shriek through another peal of laughter, your legs flailing against the couch cushions. "I was genuinely curious!"

Steve snorts from the other side of the room. "Sure you were."

Banner still doesn't even look up from his tablet. "This is what happens when you antagonise assassins with trauma and downtime."

You try to scream something back but all that comes out is a garbled, breathless sob-laugh as Bucky zeroes in on that brutal little spot just beneath your ribs, one hand holding you down by the hip while the other dances back and forth across it in merciless zigzags.

It’s not fair - he’s too strong, too steady, too fucking good at this.

"Buck, I swear-" you gasp between giggles, "-you’re gonna kill me!"

“You’ll live,” Bucky says dryly. But there’s a twitch at the corner of his mouth, that rare ghost of a grin that’s less threat and more reward. Like he’s enjoying this more than he’s letting on.

You glare up at Loki, who's still got your wrists pinned above your head, effortlessly casual.

"You traitorous bastard," you wheeze. "Let me go and fight me like a god."

Loki raises a brow. "And risk being thrashed by a ticklish mortal writhing like a fish on a dock? I think not."

Bucky hits a weak spot and you squeal, lashing out at Loki - “You glittery frostbitten motherfucker!”

"Language," Steve calls from behind his coffee cup.

Loki smiles cold and bright. "I wasn't planning to get my hands dirty, but seeing as you insist on dragging me into this..."

He moves your wrists to one hand and slides the other down your arm. You suck air through the giggles, eyes going wide, and shake your head.

"W-w-wait! No! I'm sorry! I didn't- SHIHIT!"

His fingers glide with awful precision into the hollow of your underarm, just a featherlight stroke to start.

You scream.

Your body convulses violently, torn between twisting away from Bucky’s maddening fingers at your lower ribs and Loki’s devastating scrapes along your underarms.

"No - oh my god - fuck, Loki, don’t-!"

"Oh, we’re well past don’t," Loki says smoothly, fingers trailing in tight little circles, never fully lifting, just skating and brushing and tormenting.

It’s like they coordinated this. The way Bucky’s hand shifts lower again, teasing at the crease of your hipbone with just the pads of his fingers - sweeping side to side, unpredictable and effective. The way Loki keeps his strokes light, fluttering, like he's writing a damn poem on your skin in ancient runes.

Your stomach jerks every time Bucky’s touch flirts with your waistband, and the pressure of him straddling your hips pins you in place no matter how hard you buck.

You try to thrown him off, but he just shifts his knees, anchoring you harder. The muscle under his jaw twitches with restrained laughter. He’s trying to look serious. He’s failing.

You gasp, flailing weakly. "I’m gonna die-"

"Can’t die from tickling," Banner says absently. "Elevated heart rate, maybe. Definitely some stress on the diaphragm. Oh, and laughter-induced fatigue is a thing, too."

"I hate science!"

"Noted," Steve says, grinning now. "We’ll put it in your file."

"She might pass out, though," Banner observes mildly, finally looking up.

"She’ll be fine," Steve says, sipping his coffee. "She needs the cardio."

You’re laughing so hard your voice is almost gone, hiccuping now, tears sliding sideways down your cheeks. "I- I swear- I’ll kill you both-"

"Already tried," Loki murmurs, deadpan, still tracing maddening circles under your arm. "Failed spectacularly, if I recall."

"Yeah," Bucky adds with a tilt of his head, "You’re not in much of a position to be making threats."

His fingers walk back up your ribs again, slowly, rhythmically, like he’s feeling each one - tracing the outlines like he's mapping you.

It’s unbearable.

It’s warm and raw and intimate in a way you didn’t expect, in a way that’s short-circuiting your brain and turning your limbs to jelly. It’s playful - but layered under that is a weight you can feel: that he's choosing this. Choosing you. Not mocking. Not hurting. Just being, here, with you, present and real and alive.

And that’s when Bucky leans in, face close to yours, his voice low and rough with amusement. "You bring up smut again," he says, "and next time I’m starting at your feet."

You wheeze. You actually wheeze.

Then he shifts his position just slightly. The movement is barely noticeable - just a subtle shift of weight, a lean forward - but it frees his right hand, which now dips lower.

You feel it coming before it lands. The anticipation alone has you screeching.

"No! No no no- not there-!"

But he does. His hand slips past your waistband, just far enough to press into the soft spot at your lower belly, fingers drumming lightly before grabbing at the hypersensitive nerves beneath.

You go feral.

Your scream dissolves into breathless, chaotic laughter, your entire body spasming under the onslaught. You thrash, but you’re caged by both of them - Bucky pressing you down, Loki above holding your arms in place like a steel-boned statue. You can’t breathe. Can’t think.

You’re just nerves and heat and helpless, writhing laughter.

Steve watches it all unfold, biting back a grin. "You know, this is probably against several peace treaties."

"Oh, absolutely," Banner replies. "But it’s compelling television."

You’d kill them too, if you could.

"Alright-okay-I’m dying," you gasp, choking on laughter, trying to twist away as Bucky’s fingers keep tormenting that same damn spot. "Mercy! Please, fuck - I mean it, I can’t-!"

"You sure?" Bucky cocks a brow. "Sounds like there’s still plenty left in you."

Your eyes close as you try to suck in enough air to speak. You kick the couch cushions blindly, and Loki’s fingers resume teasing your ribs, climbing up toward your armpit again, and your breath fractures.

"OH MY GOD- OKAY! I’M SORRY - FUCK - UNCLE, TRUCE, WHATEVER YOU WANT! I'M SERIOUS!"

Bucky finally stops. Slowly. His fingers ease off, dragging lightly across your stomach once more before retreating, and you melt into the cushions, panting, your body shivering from residual laughter.

Loki releases your wrists and stands, dusting his hands like he’s just completed a satisfying day’s work. “I’d say we’ve done a public service.”

You gasp like you’ve surfaced from underwater, cheeks on fire. You blink up at the ceiling and rasp, "I’m gonna have nightmares about fingers."

"Splendid," Loki says pleasantly.

"I hate you both," you croak.

Steve chuckles. "She’s lying."

Banner taps his tablet. "Endorphins through the roof. She’ll forgive you in five."

"Three," Steve corrects.

You let out a muffled groan, pressing your hands over your face. "I hate this entire team."

You don’t even realise when Bucky shifts - just feel the weight lift off your hips, the heat of him pulling away, the absence of torment like stepping out of a rainstorm.

Then his hand slips under your elbow and he’s tugging you upright, gentle but firm. Your limbs are jelly. Your lungs barely work. Your chest heaving with the aftershocks of too much laughter and too many nerves frayed to the edge.

You try to sit straight, but your body betrays you and you fall - helplessly, gracelessly - against his side where he sits.

Bucky lets out a low, amused huff as you slump against him like a puppet with its strings cut.

You mumble into the shoulder of his t-shirt. "I think I saw the light. Pretty sure it told me to go back to bed."

Steve snorts. "Not a chance."

You peel your face from Bucky’s shoulder just far enough to shoot a bleary glare toward the couch across from you.

Steve’s grinning around a mouthful of coffee. "It’s training time. Get your caffeine, get your gear, let’s go."

You groan and swiped a hand down your face. "I’ve already done my cardio."

Loki smirks faintly, straightening the cuffs of his shirt. "You’re welcome."

Bucky chuckles low, then pushes off the couch, offering you a hand. "C’mon. I’m game for some sparring."

You blink up at him. It takes a second to register what he’s said.

He hasn’t trained with the team in weeks. Not since things got dark again, and he started retreating into the corners of the compound like a ghost in the walls.

But now... he’s standing here, hand out, relaxed in a way you haven’t seen in too long. A flicker of light back in his eyes. Not all the way there. But present. Here.

You slide your hand into his, let him pull you to your feet, your legs still wobbly as hell.

As he turns toward the kitchen, you look past him - catching Steve’s eye across the room.

You don’t say a word. You don’t have to.

Steve gives a small nod.

You let out a slow breath and follow Bucky, faintly buzzed, breathless, nerves still crackling from the aftermath.

But warm.

An involuntary smile etches into your lips, eyes stinging as you blink back tears of relief.

It was worth every second.

[comicaurora]

A bit of a strange question, but if there were any of your videos you were to "remake" today for any reason (ex: you feel like you misrepresented the original text or spread misinformation), which would it be and why? None of them is a perfectly valid answer

Again: bit of a strange question, but I've been thinking about my own creations and how I could have done so much better with some of them, but I also know that is a sign of my growth and constantly chasing "what if I did this instead" isn't always healthy for nurturing a creative mindset, and I was wondering what your opinion might be as a Creator of Things with a bit more experience than I

There's been a few trope talks where I've thought later of other angles I could've explored that might warrant sequels or part 2s, but I don't dislike any of the summaries enough to justify a rework.

I always find "I could've done this better if I made it now" to be a bit of a fallacy. I'm only better at making things now because I made all those earlier things. If I knew everything I'd learn from making a project before I started the project, it wouldn't come out the same.

I think when it comes to the "rework remake perfect" instinct, it helps to zero in on what the impulse is really grounded in. In my experience, more often than not, it's not actually about making the art better, except incidentally. It's usually about showing that you are better. It's demonstrating your competence and your higher standards and your skills, and more importantly it's overwriting the proof that you were once less than perfect. If people look at your old work and think that's all you're capable of, they'll be judging you poorly!

If that's the motivator, it's a very unhelpful one. You can't control for being harshly or incorrectly judged. It's a fruitless effort to stave off potentially upsetting outdated criticism, and it's not even going to work. Fear of critique is an unreliable and untrustworthy motivator.

If it really is about making the art itself better, perfecting your magnum opus with your newly leveled-up skills, that's a little more solid. But from where I'm standing, it's always better to use those skills to make something new instead of polishing something old. The older, unpolished work has already acquired its audience that finds it appealing for reasons that might never occur to you. Trying to bury or overwrite it just deprives that audience of the thing they like, and maybe makes them feel bad for having liked it in the first place. Also, usually when you look back on the older work, you'll conclude that the problem is everything and it'll need to be torn down and started from scratch. I know when I revisited the first three chapters of the comic, when I let my critic brain spin up, it wasn't shading or lineart I wanted to fix - it was panel composition, overall pacing, the entire structure of the chapters as a whole. I would've had to make them all over again to be happy with them, and they wouldn't be the same story by the end.

I've been thinking a lot about the Discworld through this lens lately. It ended up over 40 books long, but everyone agrees that the first two are not what you should start with, because they're the worst ones. They're entirely parodic, purely referential of at-the-time major fantasy series, and borderline mean-spirited in places. If you haven't read Fafhrd and the Gray Mouser and Dragonriders of Pern, you're not gonna understand like a full 50% of The Colour Of Magic.

It's clear that when he started in on them, Pratchett was entirely focused on taking the piss out of a genre he found mostly shallow and unimpressive. But the Discworld wouldn't leave his head, and everything he made fun of he clearly eventually found himself overthinking. He'd make little one-off jokes in the early books about Dwarves having no women and a hundred words for gold, and then twenty books later he'd have a Dwarf gender revolution make waves across the Disc, and then he'd write Thud!, a book that delves deeper into the nuances of Dwarf societal structure than Tolkien ever did.

If you look for them, there are continuity errors everywhere in Discworld. In his introductory book, Carrot defused a dwarf bar full of rowdy brawlers by guilting them all into writing to their poor lonely mothers back home. Shortly thereafter, Carrot will be outraged at the mere concept of an openly female dwarf. Pratchett even eventually wrote Thief of Time, a book that loosely explains that the Disc makes no sense because history has been broken and put back together incorrectly twice, and therefore any continuity errors are because of that.

He's the writer. He could've gone back and fixed it, edited the reprints to be less disruptively discontinuous with the later books. Instead he continuously moved forward and allowed the world he made to grow without cutting it off from its roots. And because he didn't bury his older, far worse work, we have the privilege of following the Disc's evolution from the very start, and seeing how this shallow, stock fantasy world parody became something incredibly rich and complex without ever pretending like its early installments never happened.

Anyway, that's why I think it's better to move forward. You make more good stuff that way.

[queer-ragnelle]

Understand is is a very weird question to get out the blue so no offence taken if this gets left in the inbox, but I was wondering how (if at all) to integrate transgender knights into arthurian retellings/adaptations ect while trying to keep it vaguely true to the medievalisms of the whole thing? I know its easy and liberating to just go 'fuck it everything queer' and its a totally valid way to go about it, but (as a trans person) I like having a narrative examine queerphobia and other structual issues with the setting - gives the whole thing a bit of meat (in my personal tastes). That being said, it feels like its a nightmare to try and have a transmasc knight stay stealth in this place! Everyone feels like theyre getting stipped and tended to after breaking a rib in a joust or merlin shows up and is a dick about pronouns and outs you to get you married to a Roman king. Stuff like that - things that feel a little easier to dodge when its a civillian character, not an ruling class.

Is this a 'kill the cop in your brain' kinda deal? As a queer storyteller yourself do you have any tips or strategies or tools you use to crowbar this kinda stuff a little easier together? Or do you know any stories/retellings/academic texts ect that cover these kinda things (even if its in a 'for the love of god, don't do that' way). Love the work you do for this fandom a lot, regardless of your answer! Hope you have a good day.

Hello anon! This is a great question.

Now let me preface this by saying I’m not transgender and I’m not a medievalist. There are plenty of trans medievalists on tumblr, but I’m not one of ‘em. So my answer is coming from a queer but cis author and enthusiast perspective. I'm going to provide lots of links to read things as well so everyone can draw their own conclusions from the material.

I think a large part of this does come down to “kill the cop in your head.” But at the same time, I’ve been exactly where you are wondering, “How can I make this story feel authentic to its era without torturing the trans characters?” Because you’re right, there’s a lot of nudity and close proximity interaction between knights in the medieval stories and Merlin is totally the type to be a dick about pronouns. I've also searched and struggled to find a medieval-set story that manages to incorporate queerness in a period-appropriate way (so far as we can guess) while balancing the narrative as to not tip into something deeply unpleasant for the target audience to read. (See: the series by Lavinia Collins, which has great queer rep, yay! But tons of horrors previously unseen and still unnecessary, boo!) So where does that leave us?

Well first I’m going to give you an example of how not to handle transness in an Arthurian story....

The book Once & Future and its sequel Sword in the Stars by Amy Rose Capetta and Cory McCarthy went with the phenomenon you already described as, “fuck it, everything queer.” It doesn't take place in the past, but does use the medieval stories as more than reference, it's not as divergent as something like Port Eternity by C. J. Cherryh, the reincarnated characters do interact with the past directly at times, so I'm using it as an example.

Anyway most characters are either gay (umbrella term) or trans. Except the way trans characters are treated sucks majorly (in my opinion). I completely lost faith in book 1 after the introduction of Lamorak, a gender fluid knight who uses they/them pronouns. Merlin misgenders them and gets corrected by Kay, to which Merlin does this whole self flagellation routine about. Lamorak is also disabled, missing their left hand. (Why isn't it Bedwyr? Anyway not the point...) Lamorak gets no dialogue here whatsoever, all agency is completely stripped from them regarding their disability and their gender identity. Double whammy.

This is worsened when Percival gets introduced, as Merlin then makes a point of asking for pronoun clarification in the most obnoxious way possible. To which Percival takes no offense at the weird slight against his sibling and tells Merlin his pronouns.

But what about the sequel? Surely these two queer authors improved with time.....

Is this a joke? Is this the best way they could indicate the inclusive realm of Avalon? Why not just describe the women as they are, all shapes and sizes, and let the reader figure it out? The authorial intent would be so obvious by this point. Instead they say it… like that. Gag.

It only gets worse when Mordred is born. Then they're weird about a literal infant.

What in the bio essentialism? If the characters have been living in a future that’s broken out of the gender binary, the baby’s genitals should be irrelevant. Gwen’s literally saying Mordred is going to fulfill the evil prophecy because he was born with a penis. Even if this is intended to be a teaching moment, I hate how it’s handled. These quotes are in order of appearance in the books, so after the subtextual implications of all that came before, this last part really doesn’t sit right with me. Sorry I find these books completely abhorrent. They've won awards, they’re beloved by many. Maybe it's me. But no thanks.

Honestly, so long as you're not blatantly offensive with your handling of such things, I think you'll be fine. It's important to remember that even if one is part of a demographic they're depicting, it's always a good idea to hire sensitivity readers and take that feedback seriously. Not everyone will love your work, there will be advice you don't utilize, with time you'll be able to weed out the bad faith feedback, (the "all depiction is glorification" crowd) and ignore it. But it's so important to open oneself up to constructive criticism so you can learn and your work can develop into the best possible version of itself.

Now let's get to some ways you can go about researching a way to do this that fits in your story. It’s important to remember that throughout human history, many people lived stealth their whole lives and we don’t know about them for that reason, not because no transgender folks ever lived authentically and happily in medieval times. So it’s never impossible to incorporate a trans character into a story who experiences no direct violence, even if the world they live in isn’t presented as a queer utopia. The other thing is that public opinion regarding queerness, cross dressing, etc have varied a lot over the centuries and were vastly different depending on location. Not every “woman” found in armor would have been treated as poorly as Joan of Arc. So there’s lots of wiggle room for interpretation when you go about writing these narratives. The majority of my examples deal with the ruling class so they address the concerns you mentioned with added scrutiny a noble would face if they were to experiment with gender presentation compared to a commoner. I’ll be spoiling the plots of everything on the list to make clear why I’m suggesting them.

My initial advice would be to read medieval literature with queer themes followed by essays on the subject. The best examples I know of are:

Yde et Olive

Transmasc knight (good ending). 12th century French romance. Yde’s mother Clarisse died giving birth to her & later when Yde reaches maturity, her father makes advances, so she disguises herself as a man & flees. Yde becomes a successful knight & is married to the king’s only daughter, Olive. When it comes time to consummate the marriage, Yde must confess the truth of his identity to Olive, who vows to keep it secret. This is overheard by the king who then attempts to uncover Yde’s identity but is stopped by an angel who chastises the king for harassing such a good vassal. Then Yde is transformed into a man, the king dies, & Yde is able to have a child with Olive. They name him Croissant as if it couldn’t get any more French than it already was. Anyway the story alternates pronouns for Yde given the situation which is pretty neat & in the end he gets to live his best life! Yay!

Le Roman de Silence

Transmasc knight (bad ending). A 13th century French romance about a baby girl named Silence. Silence is raised as a boy because King Eban won’t allow women to inherit property. Like many medieval romances, the hero's adventure is often punctuated with personified emotions (Dame Fortune, Lady Love, etc) but Silence is tormented by Nature & Nurture as he comes into adulthood. He becomes a knight & eventually takes on an "impossible" quest, to capture Merlin, which supposedly can only be done by a woman. Content warning for the ending, it does not go well for Silence. Merlin reveals his backstory, & he’s forced to take a feminized version of his name, live as a woman, & marry the king to keep his lands.

Wigalois by Wirnt von Grafenberg

A 13th century German romance that follows Gawain’s son, Wigalois [Gingalain], but this ain’t about him. There’s a character Marine who fights as a knight. She’s consistently referred to with she/her pronouns, but she’s renowned for her knightly virtues & fights alongside the men in the war. She’s treated very well narratively & dies in battle after apprehending a high-value hostage. Everyone mourns her & there’s a big funeral held in her honor. So even if Marine never presented herself as a man the way Yde or Silence do, she provides an example of a female thriving in a male role. Food for thought.

Parzival by Wolfram von Eschenbach

Another German banger from the 13th century. This one’s about a cis male knight but Parzival has transmasc vibes. Trust me. Here’s my favorite article about it called The Clothes Make The Man - Parzival Dressed & Undressed by Michael D. Amey that really illustrates what I mean.

After that, you can check out these retellings:

The Story of Silence by Alex Myers

I bought this but haven't read it yet. It’s a retelling about the aforementioned Le Roman de Silence. This book uses neutral they/them pronouns to refer to Silence, which I can say from experience sometimes causes confusion with readers, so it's good to study how this author did it & determine if that method feels right for you. (If you ever decide to do something like that with a character.)

Spear by Nicola Griffith + Spear's Author's Note

I enjoyed this one, beautiful prose. It didn’t feel like the most comprehensive Grail Quest retelling, but Peretur can be interpreted as a butch lesbian or transmasc, it’s ambiguous. She only uses masculine pronouns when stealth, otherwise using she/her, but it has a happy ending! It’s firmly set in the era & felt authentic on that front while letting the queer characters relax. Peretur isn’t alone. (A/G/L enjoyers keep winning + sapphic lady of the lake ftw + the other hotties Peretur pulled.) Definitely worth checking out.

The Bright Sword by Lev Grossman

This book just came out in 2024. Including it here is already a spoiler given the topic but I’m going to spoil fully from this point on so ignore this if that’s a problem. This is the best example I can give for your reading/writing tastes based on the ask; Dinadan is a trans man. His transness isn’t revealed in the main character Collum’s pov, but in Dinadan’s backstory pov, opening in his childhood. He & his twin brother were sent to different schools but young Dinadan would leave the girl’s school to practice knightly skills with the fay, which retroactively explains why he has a fairy sword that Collum was admiring. In exchange for this training, the fay ask that Dinadan slay Merlin. Which he agrees to while never believing he actually can, but the wrath of the fay in the afterlife is worth his ability to live as a knight. I love how it was all handled firstly because Dinadan has a fighting style that works for his smaller frame & because every knight has a different fighting style (Dagonet’s is “If it sucks hit da bricks.”) Dinadan doesn’t stick out like a sore thumb yet his physicality is accounted for. Secondly Dinadan explains the lengths he goes to in order to stay stealth from obvious ones like binding his breasts to pretending to shave his face every couple days & wearing a packer. Later on, Dinadan’s secrets are revealed when he goes swimming in the ocean with Palomides (who evidentially already knew) & Collum joins them. Collum had no idea, which I think brings up an interesting point about all of this which also reminds me of Gawain not recognizing that Beaumains was Gareth—the power of expectation. Just as Gawain expected to find a kitchen boy & would have no reason to assume his brother (who hit puberty since they last saw each other) would be stealth in the kitchens so therefore didn’t recognize him, Collum expects to find men as knights of the Round Table, so when Sir Dinadan is introduced, & Collum had heard of him before, Dinadan’s stature & high voice don’t register to Collum as anything but traits that this guy Dinadan happens to have. Learning Dinadan’s secret in the presence of another knight who already knows & is chill about it also encourages Collum to be accepting too. So giving Dinadan at least one ally in his corner throughout the story went a long way. In the end Merlin, who can only be killed by a man (which is why Nimue had to settle for sealing him away) is stabbed by Dinadan. So it’s like a reverse Silence/Éowyn situation that Dinadan’s gender is affirmed in his ability to kill Merlin. This book also includes the part from Le Morte d’Arthur where Dinadan’s forced to wear a dress, which in this context is very transphobic, but that’s the point. It’s made better when Dinadan gets to go insano style on Merlin so he gets payback. Just a heads up about that.

Some fantasy/scifi that’s not Arthurian but may help, as Arthuriana is largely fantasy to begin with, this may help you determine where on the spectrum your taste/writing falls regarding the bending of reality/history to fit your narrative.

Orlando: A Biography by Virginia Woolf

1928 novel about a character named Orlando living during the reign of Elizabeth I. Orlando is born male, then at some point in his early adulthood, falls into a deep sleep from which he awakens the exact same person, now metamorphosed to be female. Orlando, for her part, adopts this new role immediately & keeps on moving. She lives for 300 years as such & has many adventures, including an instance where she then presents as a man to elude marriage. Transitioned so she could cross dress in the other direction. She would’ve done numbers on tumblr. Ultimately, Orlando does marry… a gnc sea captain! The success of their marriage is attributed to their similarities in gender non-conformity. Even though this book only remains in the late medieval era for the opening, I think it’s a poignant example of a transgender individual living their life in their time & still getting to enjoy themselves without excessive suffering that may provide lots of inspiration.

The Left Hand of Darkness by Ursula K Le Guin

1970 Hugo & Nebula award winning novel. A fascinating examination of gender from the point of view of a cis man named Genly Ai having to reconcile his interpretation of the gender binary when confronted with a society who operates outside that. His travels with ambisexual Estravan challenges what Ai understands about the universe. His ignorance forms the backbone of the narrative as he grows close to a person from this other society. Even if it’s not a medieval setting, it may help you develop a narrative voice regarding this subject you’re able to bring to your work. Also it’s just really good.

The Privilege of the Sword by Ellen Kushner

2007 Locus award winner, Nebula & Gaylactic Spectrum nominee. High fantasy medieval setting. Katherine is a country girl brought to the big city Riverside by her uncle the Duke where she’s offered the opportunity to train as swordsman (ie cross dress) instead of political marriage. She’s unsure of the reasoning behind her uncle’s motivations for doing this, but goes along with it & kicks ass. A preview is available on Google books (linked).

The Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb

This is my favorite series ever. It spans 16 books published between 1995-2017. The fandom on tumblr & ao3 is hugely active. (Avoid tags to dodge major spoilers or check it out for amazing art & many quotes!) The series has many gnc characters in a fantasy medieval setting. First & foremost, The Fool, who’s in all the books & whose gender ambiguity is mentioned book 1, to which he says, “None of your business.” The character ever. Without getting too specific, there are several trans characters including gender fluid characters who will alternate between masc/fem presentation & pronouns. This is my favorite example of gender fluid characters in any fantasy I’ve read, especially since there are several & each feels unique. In The Liveship Traders trilogy, Amber coaches another woman how to hide her period while pretending to be a ship’s boy by using a sock, so if anyone finds the blood on it, she can say she cut her foot. Little things like that really deepened the realism in an otherwise fantastical story for me, because addressing those details answers questions my overly analytical mind would ask & wonder about if unacknowledged.

Lastly I'd like to suggest the article Armour of an Alienating Identity by Jeffrey Jerome Cohen. While it doesn't mention Parzival (the text), it does mention Perceval (the character), as well as Gareth Beaumains, Lancelot, Gawain, Yvain, and even Arthur himself. It goes on to reference endless examples to support its thesis including Greek heroes such as Achilles and Odysseus with references to many different medieval stories from Old English Beowulf to the Irish Ulster cycle to the works of Geoffrey Chaucer. Most (if not all) of the texts mentioned in this essay can be found on my blog for cross reference if you desire, although the article already contains many quotes.

Okay I think that’s all I got. I’ve given you a ton to think about and read. Ultimately I don’t think there’s a clean cut answer for this. Nuance, you know? Having hired an editor and many sensitivity readers myself, it really is just a professional a vibe check sometimes. You write what you want to the best of your ability, then other people weigh in, and you keep tweaking it until it’s as good as you can possibly make it. During development, and even in its final form, there will be people who don’t enjoy your story and that’s fine. It isn’t for everyone, it’s for you and your audience. No single experience in this life is the same so each fictional depiction emulating life will also be unique, there’s no “right” answer on how to write this or anything else, only the way you want to.

Hopefully now you have some tools to help you learn how best to express your vision. I know they gave me a lot of insight and ideas I lacked before when writing trans characters in my books. Thank you for trusting me with this question and good luck with your project! Take care! :^)

[maxwell-grant]

So is Worm good from what you have read

"Yes" doesn't begin to cover it but yes. Worm is a brain-rewiring mobius strip disguised as a bible disguised as a superhero web serial that either cured your cancer or shot your dog or both depending on who you ask, and it has many extremely dedicated, brilliant scholar priest surgeons publicly dissecting it on this platform on the regular to the point I don't think I have much to add to the conversations surrounding it, even if I do have some The Thoughts about it. I had never even really seriously thought about superhero prose before and Worm isn't a thing I go back and reread frequently but it did a complete and total 180 on the way I think about superheroes and even fiction, and I've never stopped thinking about it since I've read it.

It is a monumentally impressive story with completely absolutely incredible characters that I cannot stop thinking about. No matter where it was going, even past stretches that were less interesting or more of a slog to read or worse, I could not put the story of Taylor Hebert down for one minute. Tattletale fascinated me every step of the way, I had to keep up with her. Rachel Lindt was a character I feel like I'd been waiting my whole life for. What was I gonna do, not see them through? I feel like Worm easily loses you if you don't particularly connect with the characters enough to justify to yourself the amount of time you'll spend with them, but man, I could not unglue my eyeballs from these people enough (I love all the core Undersiders, to be clear, I'd say it's Rachel > Taylor > Tattletale > Aisha and Alec and Brian, there are very small gaps between these, I just don't go berserk for the last three like I do for the first three, I'm taking Bitch and Skitter to the grave I'm dead serious)

Everybody who read it has one or several gripes with it with some major dealbreakers in the mix. Tumblr's kinda the only place online where you can really talk about them at length without the spectre of John Wildbow hanging over the discussion, which enables discussion to the point where yes, maybe it does look like to outsiders that nobody can agree on whether Worm is good or what is it even about or whether it even has worms in it (it has at least one, although it's a very big one).

And it is good, it has the Undersiders in it and the Undersiders are one of the greatest groups of characters ever put together, but everyone has at least one major point of contention with Worm whether it's the timeskip or the length or the racism or the gross fatphobia or aspects surrounding the Dallon-Pelham Torment Nexus and etc. I'd say it has maybe the most racist vision of Latin America I've ever seen in a superhero text a hair short of pro-colonial tracts in Golden Age comics and that is a tall fucking order by any metric. It is Complicated, and that winds up making it so fascinating to talk about.

Worm has self-sustaining ecological systems of posts up here, far away from the Spacebattles and Reddit battlegrounds where it has different ones and that's not getting into Weaverdice or the sequel or Wildbow's larger body of work, which I haven't gotten to and probably will not any time soon because Worm was enough of a commitment as is. Do I recommend Worm to everyone? It is certainly not to everyone's tastes and I personally find it difficult to describe it simply enough to make it sound appealing or not like a pyramid scheme. But yes I do think it's good, in fact great, in fact, amazing, except when it isn't, and except it Plainly Sucks, but then something like Taylor vs Mannequin or Kevin Norton's interlude or "You needed worthy opponents" happens and it fucks harder than anything has ever fucked before and you don't walk away from it the same, so yes I guess "good" will have to do now.

It's certainly a lot but I definitely found it worth my time to read and then read the texts written about it here. You'll have to take my endorsement of Worm as proof of it's quality and proof of how deranged it makes it's readerbase, they're not mutually exclusive. If you can make it, Worm and the wormosphere has layers and layers to wade through and talk about and enjoy, despite how we're all so very small in the end *gunshot*.

[hockeyspiral23]

Things I've Learned Over My First Year As an Author on AO3

(in the Empyrean fandom)

The things you write that you love will rarely be the things other people love. But, if you're lucky, you'll find a small group of fervent supporters who will love and enjoy said things just as fiercely as you do.

The closer to canon it is, the more people will likely enjoy it ... especially if it deals with canon ships. Generally.

More exposure isn't always better. You might think it might be nice to have something blow up and get to a large size (... well, relatively speaking within the fandom), but it's also terrible, because of the increased levels of criticism, expectation, and how it will color anything you write moving forward. Yes, I'm speaking of the truth in our scars. Yes, I'm happy it got the notice it did, but I also regret it. I'm wavering on whether I truly want to write the sequel or not (despite having jotted down bits and pieces) ... especially because I genuinely loved the remix, felt it was the improved version ... and it got a fraction of the attention and the same - if not more - criticism. I also feel so much pressure to seriously deviate from canon and write an entirely new story … and that was never my intention with the first one. Truthfully, I almost wish ttios hadn't gotten big for how much it ended up fucking with my mental health. And I will 100% say that it is probably a me thing.

The community is both wonderful and terrible. I'm incredibly grateful for the community and have met some wonderful people, but certain spaces are incredibly cliquey. I do not think they intend to be, but it certainly feels like it. And I know I'm not the only one to feel that way.

(and we already know how much I feel on the periphery of things - and I will say that that was written specifically regarding a portion of the community.)

~*~

I've published 500,444 words in one year. I have a few other projects marginally started and one or two about half-finished. But right now, I don't really feel like finishing them and publishing them. Quite honestly, I'm disheartened and have been questioning on whether I want to keep writing for a little while. I've barely written shit over the past few weeks. Had I not already had a good chunk of ttios: fate's remix written by the time I was finished posting the truth in our scars, I may not have posted much of anything else.

If you enjoy your writers, tell them. Be kind to them. Interact with them. Even if they seem weird, or awkward, or a little off. Even if they're not at the popular kids table. Because honestly? The lack of interaction has made me less likely to interact with a lot of fics as well, despite me knowing how much authors appreciate it. But it's really made me less inclined to interact in the fandom overall.

Before you share constructive criticism, even if you don't mean it to come across as condescending or hurtful, sometimes it'll still be interpreted that way. So please be careful with your phrasing. Or find a way to say it privately.

Related: seriously, don't read several thousand (literally hundreds of thousands) of words by someone, seemingly enjoy them ... but have your first ever comment on their works be words of criticism - even if they're sandwiched in (half-assed) compliments. This might be the fucked up brain talking, but for me? I'd rather you have not complimented me at all because it feels like you're only doing it because you want your criticisms to go down easier. If you'd been commenting all along, I'd probably take your shit less hard and actually constructively like you were hoping. (I will also admit that they probably would have gone better had I already not been in such a shitty fucking place regarding the story in general.)

The above two things were basically why I felt like I had to justify every single fucking thing I did in ttios: fate's remix by the end ... and as a writer, I don't believe I should have to justify every single fucking word I write. If the story isn't what you want it to be, CLICK THE FUCK OUT OF IT. And do it quietly. I do it all the time. Unless it's specifically requested, I'm not going to tell someone why I'm not reading their work anymore. Not everyone is going to like everything. I understand that. But it's something I fucking know - you don't need to tell me that you think it's shitty and that I'm disappointing you.

(do you email/comment on actual author's posts similar things when you don't like their books? or the book doesn't go as planned? if so, never read anything where the author has already died because they'll never get to read your opinion.)

IN ANY CASE ...

Maybe (hopefully) you'll see me soon. Maybe you won't.

But thank you for a hell of a year.

[cautious-soup]

Ex-Bully!Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader

Summary: Sequel to my Bully!Satoru Gojo story.

You and Satoru spend time together, all the while pretending the two of you together aren't a disaster.

CW// discussion of non-con

A/N: READ ME!! This is an experimental chapter, I'm dubious on whether or not this is a good direction to take the story. Please vote in the polls at the end of you like this direction!!!

ALSO please vote after reading on which JJK character I should write about next!! Tysm, and please enjoy this new chapter :)

✿❀✿❀✿

2 months. That was how long Satoru had gone without touching you. That time was part of an eternity to him, an eternity where he never got to see you again. It was endless at best, and maddening at worst.

The world really was on the side of awful people. That he was able to see you again at all, hold you, kiss you—what right did he have?

"I don't completely forgive you, it just isn't possible," you'd said, and he understood.

He told you he was sorry, but not for hurting you. No, if he could go back to when you both first met, he'd do it all over again—nothing felt as good as taking from you.

He was sorry for wanting to hurt you, for reveling in it, craving it.

It wasn't his secret to keep, so he told you as much.

"…that's fucked up," you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose. "You say all of that while I'm alone with you?"

Satoru looks down and wrings his hands. It was the day after the cafe, and Satoru invited you to the hotel he was staying at. You obliged his invitation, against your better judgement. Every interaction you had with this man was against your better judgement really. Now, you were both sitting on the couch in his hotel room, trying and failing to have a productive, adult conversation.

"Have you…been to therapy at all?" He asks carefully.

"What good would that do when I still…" you sigh, "Every part of my being is screaming at me to get away from you…and every part of my being is pleading for me to stay with you."

Madness. 

"I can't," Satoru looks at you, "I can't promise I won't end up doing something selfish—something that'll hurt you."

"Well yeah, you clearly can't control your impulses," you snort. 

"I can control them I—Y/N, I've never been this way about anyone but you. I beat up a guy at a party for cornering a chick once,"

"So you're a hypocrite?"

"…at best."

More silence.

Nothing about this was safe or sane. You were a rabbit twining itself with a wolf who was never satisfied. How long before he devoured you whole?

Maybe you were a masochist.

"I don't know what it is about you," Satoru said lowly, gazing at you, unblinking, "I get things from you that I can't from anyone—anything else." 

Satoru is closing the space between you, clutching your shoulders, "Y/N, you have to get away from me. I know you said you'd give me a second chance but I don't deserve it. Whatever you choose to give me won't ever be enough…"

You know that. You know that, and yet.

"You are so mentally unwell," you sigh.

"I learn from the best," Satoru joked, letting go of you.

"Hey, you went crazy way before I did," you say, and Satoru shrugs, "I dunno, you definitely could've called the campus police on me or something."

"Oh so we're victim blaming now?"

"No of course not I'm just saying th—ow!"

Satoru rubs his shoulder, "Ok ok, sorry. My fault."

"Yep."

"…"

"…"

"…can we please make out now?"

"You finally learned how to ask for things?" You ask, shuffling over the couch cushions toward him.

"Yeah, I studied for years," Satoru hummed, laying his hands on your waist and pulling you forward.

Your lips come together, and the most agonizing bliss washes over you.

Nothing else feels like this. Nothing.

✿❀✿❀✿

Recent Search History:

Whats codependantcy

(Did you mean codependency?)

Is codependantcy bad?

(Did you mean codependency?)

Codependent relationships example

Am I a bad person?

I'm in love and it hurts

I feel insane

Does she think about me as much as I think about her?

✿❀✿❀✿

"Oh my god, stop asking,"

"I thought consent was a good thing—"

"Yes but not every two minutes," you whimper, wrapping your legs tighter around Satoru's waist, "Please just," you can't finish. You've never wanted him this bad. It's embarassing.

But Satoru is flushed too, mouth wet and half open, eyes lidded and entranced with you. 

"Before…" you start, and Satoru dazedly meets your eyes. You feel yourself getting flustered—his looks really were unfair.

"A-ah um, before you always said I wasn't your type, um…" you don't let on how much it got to you, all of the comments about you being "plain" and "a 6 at best".

But you were only human.

Satoru's brows bunch together, and he sighs, letting his forhead fall against your shoulder.

"I was just being a dick…" he murmured, "Um��fuck I really am the worst,"

"No," you sit up slightly, "No, you don't get to sulk. You made your bed, now lie in it."

"…well I'm lying in a bed now," he says, pulling away from your shoulder just enough to look at you.

"You're annoying," you sigh, pulling Satoru's face towards yours and kissing him again.

✿❀✿❀✿

How do you want it?

I don't know.

Please—tell me.

I don't know just…stop asking. Do what you've always done.

…ok

✿❀✿❀✿

"Whatever I want?" You ask, glancing up at him.

"Anything," he says, "Please, get anything you want. Even if it feels impulsive."

Earlier in the hotel room, Satoru laid panting beside you and asked, "What do you, haah, what do you like to do around here anyway?"

You'd shrugged, "Eh, there's nothing to do around here besides eat and shop. I like the movies best. The malls are nice too, especially the more expensive one, though I mostly just do window shopping there…"

"…window shopping?" He'd asked. You realize it must be an unfamiliar concept for someone like him, seeing something you want and not having it immediately.

He looked at you strangely after you explained. The next thing you knew, you were at said expensive shopping center, with Satoru encouraging you to pick out everything you wanted.

"Well," you say, sipping a 10 dollar pistichio latte, "This is definitely a start."

Satoru smiles indulgently at you. He's been looking at you the whole time, actually, watching you flit about every store, urging you towards the most expensive items and laughing at your reactions to the prices. 

He kept steering you towards clothing stores too, and picking out clothes for you like a fussy parent. He did have good taste to be fair. 

You were still flustered though— Satoru didn't do anything to hide the dark satisfaction that crossed his features whenever you emerged from a dressing, room covered head to toe in obscenely expensive clothes he'd chosen for you.

"Anywhere else you wanna go?" He asks, watching as you finish your coffee.

"Hm," you look down at the floor surrounding your table. An army of bags were at both of your feet. Satoru insisted on carrying everything, but after a while he just looked like a walking pile of bags himself. So you took as many as you could carry. Even between the two of you, it was still overwhelming.

"…maybe we should head to the car and uh, put these away,"

Satoru looked down at the bags, laughing, "Sheesh, did we really get this much?"

"I guess so," you say.

"Then, let's go see a movie,"

"Which one?"

"Whichever one is most popular at the time of reading," Satoru says.

You both go see a movie that's very relevant. You let yourself order items off the theater menu you didn't know existed.

"Why's this place have waffles?" Satoru snickered.

"Why're you soaking yours in so much syrup?" You ask, watching as the waffle practically drowns.

"The more sugar the better," he says simply. 

The person in front of you turns and scowls, and you smile apologetically.

But Satoru wouldn't stop talking during the movie and making you laugh, and his hand somehow made its way up your thigh. 

Some part of you wanted to recoil, but another part of you wanted to lean into the tough tenfold.

This isn't normal you think, lacing yours and Satoru's fingers together.

✿❀✿❀✿

"How's your head, by the way?" 

Satoru glances away from the road at you, confused. You hesitate, then clarify, "When I slugged you with my graduation mug."

"Oh!" He says, "Yeah I'm fine. You should've hit me harder to be honest."

"Yeah I get it, you're the worst. God, how do you still manage to keep the conversation about you?" You ask, exasperated.

"Hey you asked me this time," he says. 

"Ah, this is it," you say after a few minutes. Satoru nods, pulling in front of your house.

"I'll help you bring the bags in," he says, and you nod.

Your parents were the type to have the garage door closed even when they were home. You never had any way of knowing if they were gone until you went inside.

And alas, they were home.

Your mom stares at you and Satoru from the kitchen. You watch her work through everything in her head, watch her eyes dart from him, to you, to the host of shopping bags you're both carrying, to the red spot on your neck that you didn't bother covering up.

"Oh my," she whispers.

✿❀✿❀✿

A/N: HERE ARE THE POLLS PLEASE VOTE THANKS

Just realized you can't have two polls in one post so here's the other one

Thanks for reading sorry for all the chaos lol

[yoghurtsgirl]

If I held that wish baby, I would wish that Russell T Davies never returned to Doctor Who

RTD2 has been a colossal mess. Last season was maybe the worst series the show has ever had, with the only truly good episode being Rogue. After The Empire of Death, I thought I was done with the show. Then I killed time by watching Joy to the World on Boxing Day and I thought I was done with the show. But on my quest to show my girlfriend Doctor Who, I thought hey it might be an idea to do the new stuff just so she knows why I don't like it. And guess what we found?

We both really liked this series. The Robot Revolution was a super fun camp introduction to the season, with Belinda instantly being ten times more of a character than Ruby Bloody Sunday was. Lux was creatively unique and even though I wasn't a huge fan of it, it was a big swing which I really enjoyed it taking. The Well was a surprisingly great base-under-siege sequel to Midnight, something I never thought could happen. Lucky Day touched on really interesting themes and emotional beats even if it didn't stick the landing. The Story and the Engine was absolutely fantastic, pure joy and the most original episode in all of Doctor Who. And then we got the Interstellar Song Contest - an episode with incredible production values but god awful internal politics.

And here we are. Wish World, a story has some real interesting meta commentary of conservative power-structures that suppress people who don't fit in with the patriarchal worldview, how the world the right-wing strive to get back never really existed, and they have to ignore literal holes in their philosophy for their fiction to make sense. The production design is superb and it does look lush, with redressings of sets in super clever ways. On a production design and on a commentary level it is better than last year’s first part of the finale, but it left me feeling nothing. It left me feeling very little hope for The Reality War. I've been let down before by this show, and been let down by you, Russell. Surely you won't do that again.

Well Russell, fool me once shame on me, fool me twice? Fuck you.

The Reality War. What a heap of absolute piss. There's something truly incestous about the show now. This god-damn boys club that's had its claws in the show since the 90's is still here, and it refuses to progress. When the show returned in 2005, Russell was on record saying the kids watching the show in twenty years would be running it, they would be Doctor Who. 20 years later the old bugger is still here. And I have to wonder, was it worth it? Is all this worth it?

The MCU-ification of the show - and all media, let's be honest - is a plague. I don't mind the deal with Disney, I don't mind the lil mid-credit scenes I guess. What I do mind is how the show is being made as content and that's it. It's jangly keys tv. It's not a show, it's not made as a production. It's made out of legal obligation. This show is being made for ten year olds who have been watching the show for forty five years. It's made so broadly and yet so fucking niche it's for nobody. I enjoy lil cameos here and there, I enjoy lil references to silly little lore. What I hate is building entire episodes - nay, seasons - off references to decade old plot points that haven't been referenced since 1983. Oh, speaking of which...

Susan Foreman. Hi Susan. I love Susan. Why were you here? Or specifically, why weren't you here? If I had a nickel for each series of Doctor Who which built up the big return of The Doctor's first companion, only for her to not actually appear, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it not only happened twice, but in back to back seasons no less. Her cameo in Interstellar Song Contest was nice, but it amounted to nothing. Why was she here? Who was she for? The Fugitive Doctor's cameo in Story and the Engine was nice, but amounted to nothing more than jangly keys. The Thirteenth Doctor's cameo here amounted to nothing because she pops in, and it's lovely to see her again, but her whole cameo only existed for one reason - to give me vindication on how good her era actually was and how no one fucking believed me. We had it so good, man

The Rani - why? She's a character that exists only to be The Master-lite. I do like her, but she's often just a less interesting villain archetype. She's camp, she's silly, but that's kinda about it. I'm glad her grand return happened so we can stop with the "oooh the Rani is coming back" speculation every damn year, but god almighty what was this? Mrs Flood is the epitome of making it up as you go along. There's no arc, there's no actual thinking things through. Go back and watch her first appearances in Season One - she's clearly not The Rani. She just exists to be a buzzword so people can make lore videos about. "Ooh, are you not excited this character who hasn't appeared since The Doctor was Scottish five times ago is coming back??"

No. Because I care about writing. I care about plotting. I care about this show. Well, fuck me. Because if I had a nickel for each time a season finale brought back a legacy character who aspired to be a God, reduced his character to just being another boring God, with a CGI body of a dog, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird it's happened twice... two seasons in a row. Why is Omega here and why is he like this? He got Sutekh'd. Holy fuck. How was this allowed to happen.

Why is there no story? Why is it all fluff and waffle. And when there is a story, about the Doctor having a daughter and how if they fix the world she disappears from time, why does it not matter? They pretend it does, but it not only is obviously a reshoot but it clearly lacks all the emotional weight of times long gone. You cannot tell me RTD2 was made to be accessible for new fans, and at the same time mention Looms in the same sentence. Because Looms are canon now. LOOMS. FUCKING LOOMS. The most insane and worst part of 90's Who Lore. Hey, remember that time the Time Lords got cursed by a witch and made them sterile? No? Well that's canon now. Oh, and bi-generation was explained as something Time Lords can do to reproduce, and not actually a one off magical event based on a Time Lord myth. WHAT THE FUCK REASONING IS THAT FOR THAT ALREADY AWFUL IDEA???? The Doctor having children was such a huge part of the show in RTD1, and how he lost them (in the Time War or not) was super impactful. But now he's retconned his own era - the Doctor never had kids because he's sterile but Susan... exists...?

Susan is a real weird part of the show because she existed pre-all this lore about The Doctor and the Time Lords and regeneration came about. He left her on an alien world to live a life of her own, and said he would come back for her. He never did. His granddaughter. But because of all the new lore over the years, her place in the show was left super unclear. Was she a Time Lord? Could she regenerate? Would she age like a human or a Gallifreyan? Well fuck you, because now she's not even the Doctor's grandkid. I don't want those answers to be explored really, because exploring too much of the Doctor's past could be damaging, and damning in Susan's case. But the answer is now no, she's not even his grandkid, is fucking insane to me.

And look, nostalgia is a dangerous thing. Nostalgia is a really powerful tool but it's remembering a past that never truly existed, it's the memories of past events that should stay that. And it's always good to remember. But that same boys club running the show for the past 20+ years refuse to let go of nostalgia. Because Ncuti is gone. And Billie Piper is the next Doctor Who

I fucking mean this, that is the single choice that has forever broken the show. Hey, Doctor Who is Rose Tyler now. Rose Tyler, his ex, who he last saw hundreds and thousands of years ago and six regenerations ago. We've had five Doctor Who's since David Tennant (first) left the TARDIS. And Rose has not been relevant in the show since 2009. Why are we still doing this? Beyond the optics of regenerating into his ex, beyond the nostalgia-baiting, I have to ask. Does anyone even care about Rose Tyler like this anymore? I have no hope for the future of the show, because it refuses to let go of the past.

And poor Ncuti. I feel so bad for him. He was so hard-done by. Two seasons of poor scripts, awful plotting, negative character arc. He came in with nat-20 charisma and I love him for that, and in this season he got to pull back the layers a little more and have him be a more complex character. All for it to come undone here. The best Doctor who deserved better; he's joined that pantheon alongside Colin Baker, Paul McGann, Peter Capaldi, and Jo Martin. The only Dalek appearance in his era was a reused clip from Day of the Daleks (which, by the way, was a clip from the special edition that featured new Dalek voices by Nicholas Briggs, which means the original serial isn't canon but the special edition is? Oh my god, Russell T Davies is the George Lucas of Doctor Who...) The only Cyberman appearance in his era was in a comic strip. No, we're not doing old baddies unless we're turning them into big dogs. No, we have whole new baddies and monsters! Like... a Nazi, a victim of a genocide who is villainised to the extent the Doctor joins the cause to kill him, and a monster made of snot. WOW, SO INCREDIBLE THERE

There is no sauce here. Nothing special. The directing and blocking in this episode was truly awful. The lighting flat as a pancake. Insane uses of characters. Anita from that god awful Christmas special stands there as a doorstop and says nothing for the entire episode. They throw the main companion into a literal fucking box for half the episode and she does nothing. Rose, Donna's transgender daughter is also here. And again, she does nothing (at least this time she did more than only look at a bloody iPad though). Like,,, wow, go girlies!! Give us NOTHING!!! 

Also it's insane that the optics of the story where a fascist creates an alt-timeline where the men go to work and the women stay at homes to look after the babies, only for the resolution of the story to have the main female character stay in the sci-fi cube. Now that's what I call feminism. Reducing a female character to just being a mother. Belinda wanted to get home all this time because she was an independent woman who had a life of her own to lead, with zero set up of her wanting to start a family. She even hated the idea of being Mrs, of being seen as incomplete if she didn’t adhere to a family unit. But no, the Doctor commits suicide to change time and make her a single mother and rewrite her entire life. What the fuck. Also insane that Anita is a pregnant woman, yet her whole function in saving the day is to stay standing for uncomfortably long. It’s not like pregnant women need major physical support or anything. Fuck off. The gender politics of this episode Jesus fucking Christ. 

It’s truly fucked up. Why did no one stop this? Poppy getting erased from time, The Doctor awkwardly giving up his life to save his and Belinda's daughter, only for her to come back and re-write Belinda's entire timestream so she was a single mother. Because in this story, women are just for breeding or something?? Wtf is that about. It's insane that the Doctor died like this even. On paper I love the Doctor giving up his life to save one person. That's so so good and something that has been done before, and even in this era the idea of one person being missing is so heartbreaking and the Doctor would do anything to remedy that. But the emotional and thematic beat of the Doctor finally having a biological child (which is a heap of piss but let's go along with it for a moment) is completely gone because no, he doesn't have a kid. Poppy doesn’t matter because her life got completely rewritten too. We don’t even meet her dad. Fuck you.

This has been a whole ramble of a review, and I have so so many more thoughts on it. This is entirely unstructured, but I'm disappointed. My girlfriend Jane is disappointed. She's a pathological enjoyer of media, she's somebody who will find the good in anything and love it for that (is that why she's dating me, chat?) and she hated it. I hated it. And you should hate this too.

If 1980's Doctor Who was not worth saving, this shit isn't either. I said the same last year, and I'll say it again. I hope Disney pulls out. Doctor Who deserves better than Bad Wolf and Russell T Davies.

Sack Russell T Davies, sack Jane Tranter, sack Phil Collinson, sack Julie Gardner, sack Murray Gold. And then I'll come back to the show...

[smalltimes]

Games I played in Winter 2024-2025

Tunic - The best game I've played in a long, long time. If you like zelda games, do not read reviews or look up a synopsis. Buy this and play it. Fear the eyes of the far shore.

Animal Well - THIS is how you make a metroid-vania. I'm still reeling at how goddamn good this is. Just the densest concentration of puzzles and exploration, sick art style, perfect and thicc like a pound cake.

Book of Hours - buuhhh, what to even say. I don't even know if I like this game. It's like a mosquito bite that I just want to keep scratching. It has taught me a new definition of insanity. Playing this makes me feel the same way I felt when I first started playing Civ 5.

Hollow Knight - Danny DeVito "I get it" meme, I see why people are so tied up in knots about Silksong. if I were 14 again and couldn't afford to buy games, I'd want this the most out of everything on this list, just for the depth and challenge.

Outer Wilds: Echoes of the Eye - It finally felt like it had been long enough since Tohru died for me to revisit this game, but I still thought about him the entire time. Nothing has really come close to how good the base game is, and this DLC captures 95% of that magic. The only flaw is how it's meant to slot into the main game rather than stand alone, so for someone like me who was just revisiting it to play the DLC, the ending didn't entirely work for me. Still, I get what they did and how they did it, and they made the right choice. I dreamt a happy dream about this game the night after I started playing it, and beat it the next morning.

Chants of Sennaar - This game was made for me, specifically. I wish the last couple levels were much longer, but partly because I just wanted to be in this world more. I really hope the creators of this do more with this style, and damn I wish there were more linguistics-based games out there. Banger soundtrack too.

Crypt Custodian - I had middling hopes for this one. The art style is cutesy, the movement is floaty, and the story seems silly right off the bat. I could not have been more wrong about everything. The combat is so crisp and reactive. It's a wonderful balance between forgiving enough that I never felt like I was being cheated, but difficult enough that I never one-shot a boss or even beat one without taking a hit. The world is vaster than I imagined it could be for a game of this scale, but fast travel is easy to come by. Even in my initial playthrough I never felt like I was being railroaded or having to backtrack and comb through areas again and again to figure out what my next step would be. Instead of a New Game+ or something there's a built in randomizer. Why is this the first game I've ever played that thought of this! Lastly, the story isn't really a story like a linear game would have. Each zone is an illustration of each of the characters, and they all fit together to paint a picture of what the afterlife is for our pets and other wild animals. An absolute masterpiece.

Yoku's Island Express - What if a metroid-vania was a tropical-themed pinball table? So cute and innovative, a delightful little 10-hour adventure that never felt like a slog or back-track city. One of the funniest sequel-bait endings ever; I hope they make one!

Talos Principle 2 DLCs - Another game specifically made for me. DLC 1 felt like a great little happy ending tying up the loose ends from the main story. DLC 2 was such a fun chill island vacation, felt like a victory lap. DLC 3 has some of the hardest individual puzzles I've ever experienced in a video game, but I'm proud to say I beat every last one without any outside help. If you think you can get down with Portal but with the humor swapped out with philosophy, this is that game.

Case of the Golden Idol - Absolutely blew me away, such a cool way of telling a story. Like, what if Where's Waldo committed a murder and you had to figure out not only how and why he did it, but also the occupation and favorite food of the victim's niece. Very Obra-Dinn: dark, funny, and precise. It's a little weird though, I played a bit of the demo of the sequel and it felt like diminishing returns, but I'm optimistic I'll enjoy it once I get around to buying the full version.

Balatro - Honestly the soundtrack is the biggest selling point, which is weird to say but what they do with it is kind of incredible. I get why it was the year's hottest new thang, and I totally got sucked into it for a good long while. At the end of the day it doesn't replace STS for me, though. Too mathy at higher levels, not vibes-based enough to jump in and have a fun run. I wish I had bought this for my phone instead of on Steam.

Celeste - Best, snappiest, and most precise platformer since super meat boy. An 8-way controller is a must though, I got so mad at my x-bone controller so many times that I stopped playing halfway through the B-sides, but that's not really the game's fault.

Transistor - Still my favorite Supergiant story after all these years. A tragedy for the ages. No other game does what this does with combat and encouraging you to switch up your gameplay. I spent hours in the Sandbox just trying out different combos and options. I think some reviews at the time disliked gating story elements behind your gameplay choices but in my opinion that's the point. The game isn't that hard and you don't need to play in a style you dislike for very long. Oh, and get the Sea Monster at Junction Jan's.

Ori and the Will of the Wisps - Not as good as the first one, but damn near close. A little more combat-focused, a little less platformy and movement-based. Much fewer escape-sequences, which is a huge relief, and I loved the new central hub. Felt like they had a really good thing going on with the first one that just needed some cleaning up and polishing, but they wanted it to be more like hollow knight or something and went too far in their tuning.

The Forgotten City - Kinda like if the Talos Principle and Outer Wilds had a lil baby. A little short but nailing the true ending is pretty satisfying. The less said about it the better, to keep its secrets, but it's essentially one big time-loop puzzle that's solved through talking to people and exploring this little Roman town. Absolutely loved the implementation of Galerius giving you the option of not having to redo things you've already unlocked or allowing you to go back and do things a different way. Like, for instance, one of the people is poisoned and dying, and you have the antidote. At the beginning of each loop you can give Galerius the antidote to give to her, run over and give it to her yourself, or let her die. The best part is, each of these three choices has a real impact on what happens that day, and what dialogue and information is unlocked.

Chicory - Lovely little adventure, good puzzles, top notch exploration, sick-ass boss encounters. I can't imagine how annoying it would be if you were only playing on controller without a mouse, though. Cute furry world where everyone is named after food. I was named pierogies.

Death's Door - Absolutely killer worldbuiilding and soundtrack, the vibes are almost completely perfect, and for the most part I loved the unique boss encounters. There are many weird or untuned things that bugged me, though, like getting completely stun-locked in corners and the weapons and upgrades being largely unnoticeable. The Gemsbok just did a video on this game, and it made me realize my biggest problem with the game. Past the first time you see each zone there is no sense of adventure. You walk (or mash the roll button) through a zone, clear out all the enemies, and find there's nothing to discover other than collectibles only accessible via a power you'll get later on. Literally only 1 of these 24 collectibles have a puzzle attached to it (and that being the only real puzzle in the game), so it felt like half my playthrough was spent roaming around The Overgrown Ruins looking for one more secret to check off my to-do list.

Myst - A classic for a reason, there was a ton in here that I forgot about. Very rough around the edges but that's like its whole thing y'know.

Hyper Light Drifter - One of those games that introduced the whole genre of Metroidvanias to me. So glad I revisited it and finally beat the last boss after 8 years. It's funny how much smaller it is than I remember, but the qol is on the money and the combat is as tight as it ever was. Just a fantastic game that I'd rate way higher if I wasn't already familiar with it.

Night in the Woods * So, this isn't really a game I guess, more of an interactive novel. If I didn't relate to the main character so much I think I'd be more gung-ho to dive further into it but it just makes me depressed. lol.

Toki Tori 2+ * Make no mistake, this is a full-ass adventure game, on par in terms of scale with HLD, Ori, and Yoku. The wild thing is that it presents itself as some sort of phone game or a Block Dude. Truly bizarre and devilishly challenging, but unfortunately once the world becomes open I lost track of my objective and didn't want to slog through the esoteric overworld and backtracking to hunt down a hidden path I missed 5 hours ago. Some day I'll find a guide and wrap this up.

Myst 3 - Coming off of the mind-bending difficulty that is riven, this felt like a day at a theme park. Great puzzles, totally immersive and inventive worlds, short and sweet, if a little silly at times.

Peglin - What if slay the spire was a Peggle? It can be fun and a challenge, but so, so annoying when one bad bounce that was out of your control ruins the whole run. I guess STS has that too, when your deck gets a bad shuffle and there's nothing you can do, but it feels like it happens way more often on the pegs. Also, a lot of the bosses can be totally steamrolled without too much thought, which is a little bit of a letdown since it doesn't really matter what your build looks like. As long as you keep in mind how you're going to beat a couple bosses like the painter and dragon, any other boss just doesn't matter.

Dredge - VERY fun fishing game, honestly doesn't even need the cthulu stuff. Doesn't overstay its welcome, and the ending is satisfying and earned. The most fun I had was just the first 3-5 hours rolling around, making money and upgrading my boat. There was a point where it felt more like a slog than a fun time, but I pushed through it and realized it wasn't that big of a push. Still, that's not exactly what you want.

The Sexy Brutale * It sells itself as a grand time-loop puzzle thing in the vein of Forbidden City or Outer Wilds, but it really isn't. Yes, everything takes place in one big mansion, but there's no exploration to be had here. Now, I'm a little further than halfway, solved 5/8 of the main story missions, and I can say that decisively because each of the cases is in a discreet wing of the mansion that is only unlocked once you've solved the previous one. It is intensely linear in a way I was not expecting. Don't get me wrong, it's lovingly crafted, and each puzzle feels unique, creative, and rewarding to solve. But between the checklist vibe of the progression gating, the rocky and sometimes clumsy controls, and repetitive animations, the game largely falls flat. Swing and a miss.

Little Inferno - Cute and fun, a neat little 2-hour experience. There are some surprisingly deep themes that poke in every once in a while, but ultimately it's little more than a bedtime story. A small mark against it, apparently I had already played and beaten this years ago when it came out and had no memory of it whatsoever.

Cave Story+ - Oddly enough another comparison to super meat boy in this list, it looks and feels like exactly what it is, a flash game that somehow got developed into a full-ass game. Surprisingly good though! I did not care for a lot of the humor that felt very lolrandom reference-based, but i guess that was just that era.

Vision Soft Reset * I got stuck on a difficult platforming section directly followed by a very tough fight, and gave up after maybe 30 attempts. Maybe I'll go back to it some day? The time travel aspect a very cool concept, and well implemented, but the game just feels a little too rough around the edges and flash-y. I really wanted to like this game more, but I think it's for someone else.

A Short Hike - Short is correct. A busy little furry island to chill out in for a few hours. Good dialogue and characters. Don't try to just beat the game, that's not the point. Do all the sidequests and talk to everyone, and take your time.

Dorfromantik - If they made A Quiet Year into a video game it would be this. Extremely chill, way too chill for me, but I could imagine how someone would get super into this.

Minit - If this was a free flash game it would be one of the best. I beat it in 1, maybe 2 hours, and had some fun, but I'm glad I got it off of Epic's giveaway

Played but not Beat:

Darkest Dungeon - I might dive into this for real some time, feels more punishing than XCOM but I like the combat setup and basic gameplay loop. I worry that there will be a point that the game becomes unwinnable or soft-locked, and I won't realize it and waste a ton of time.

Snakebird - Actually just a phone game, but cute and devious puzzle design a la Baba Is You. might never boot this up again unless I'm desperate.

Up Next:

Myst 4

Undertale

Enter the Gungeon

Kentucky Route Zero

(*) Asterisks indicate that I didn't finish the game.

[twilightkitkat]

Hi, first of all, I want to tell you that I adore your stories and ideas, I love your content and you are one of my favorite Poolverine /Deadclaws writers ♥️♥️♥️♥️

1. I have a question, will you continue the story where the X-Men react to Logan and Wade's happy relationship, will you leave poor Logan alone? Or will they try to sabotage their relationship to get "their" Wolverine back and try (in vain) to fix things with him?

2. I would like to see the Avengers' reaction when they find out that Steve knows Logan, I have a feeling that knowing that he is no longer part of the X-Men, they would try to get him to join them, but Logan's answer would be a definitive NO, mainly because neither team wants Wade, Logan won't go anywhere without him, on the contrary, the two of them would show others what a real team is.

Thank you very much for your attention and I hope I have not made any mistakes in my writing 🥺♥️

Omg, thank you so much ♥️♥️♥️ it means a lot to know that people like my writing and that my blog has become one of your favorites.

I've been considering making a sequel to it with a different scenario and continuing to write about how the X-men adjust to this new Logan. While a few of them (Rogue and Colossus) know that Logan doesn't want to return and why, the rest would have a more difficult time accepting it.

I think that the X-men tend to view Logan's feelings as secondary and subconsciously look down on him. They treat themselves as more important and prioritize their feelings and perspectives over Logan's, which was reinforced in the movies. The best word to describe them is egocentric—they don't consciously think that they're above Logan and not all have high self-esteem, but they tend to have difficulties empathizing with him and seeing things from his perspective.

However, I don't think they're intentionally malicious. They wouldn't see what they're doing as "sabotage" because they want the best for Logan (in their eyes), but they would try to separate him from Wade to convince him that they're right. They'd see it as a necessary evil and think that there needs to be a divide because Wade has influenced him. However, in reality, they just feel uncomfortable seeing Logan act so close to Wade because it forces them to confront the way they treated him and how he never acted like that. They also aren't very receptive to change in their social order, and Logan breaking off is a pretty big one.

As for the Avengers' reaction, I think it'd be one of shock. Captain America isn't just the Poster Boy of America, he's the symbolic leader of the Avengers. He's this strong, moral, righteous figure who doesn't show weakness and always looks ahead. He opens up just enough to form an emotional connection with them, but he largely keeps his deeper feelings and doubts to himself.

So when Logan shows up and Steve acts less like a figurehead and more like a person, it's... uncanny. Not necessarily bad, but unnerving. They aren't used to seeing Steve relax and laugh and show genuine emotion. When the two reminisce on the past, Steve's face becomes clouded with nostalgia and regret, and when Logan places a hand on his shoulder Steve leans into it gratefully. He smiles and relaxes and the Avengers feel like they're seeing a new side of Steve, a glimpse into the scared and mortal soldier he was instead of the unstoppable hero he became.

Aside from Logan, they know about The Wolverine. They know about his feats and strengths and a few have worked alongside him in the past. He has an impressive resume, and if he hadn't been swept away by the X-men then the Avengers would've taken him in gladly.

Except now, he isn't part of the X-men. So the Avengers ask. It's a perfect fit, really. Logan is strong and capable and has a strong moral compass, he'd fit right in. Throw in the added bonus of being friends with Steve and being able to comfort him and it's a done deal.

Except... Logan refuses. Point blank.

The rest of the Avengers blink owlishly, but Steve gives an understanding smile and nod of the head. When they ask why, his answer drops their jaws even further.

"You rejected Wade, and he's my partner. I'm not joining any fucking team he's not a part of," Logan grumbles.

And that's how the Avengers find out that apparently, The Wolverine was partners with Deadpool. A few had heard rumors from the underground that The Wolverine had been doing vigilante work alongside Deadpool, but they'd thought it was a temporary thing. Something to repay his debt and occupy his time until he found another team. It makes sense that Logan didn't want to rejoin the X-men, he had a lot of history with them, but he shouldn't have an issue joining a better team. There's no way he'd be attached to Deadpool of all people, right?

But that was exactly the case. The Wolverine was apparently dedicated to spending the rest of his days in this universe by Deadpool's side. The tips of his ears turn red when he talks about Wade, and Steve has a knowing and private smile when he listens to him. (He'd anticipated this. How could he not, after meeting Wade and seeing how Logan looked at him like he was his whole world? It'd be nice to work with Logan again, but Steve was fine with settling for the occasional team-up. He wouldn't want to separate them.)

It's... a bit of a blow to the ego, to be honest. To know that The Wolverine chose Deadpool over them like it was obvious. That he didn't even think twice about their offer. To know that Logan thought someone they rejected was more valuable to work with than them.

They thought he was crazy until they saw the pair in action.

Witnessing the easy and impeccable teamwork between Logan and Wade was like watching lightning strike. The two moved with a fluidity the Avengers had never seen before, weaving in and out of each other's attacks like they were telepathically connected. Logan's strength balanced Wade's speed, and when Logan would slash Wade would shoot. They were terrifyingly fast and efficient, cutting through the enemies like butter.

It's in that moment that they understand why The Wolverine chose Deadpool over them. He was right in his choice.

[minyard-05]

damocles

me again coming back to type up another word vomit 'essay' about a song i've had on loop for the past ~8 hours.

SO. damocles.

the main thing that stands out to me lyrically is the tense change. like a lot of sleep token's songs have a tendency to be set in the past, as if vessel is recounting feelings and events that can't be undone. from this perspective he picks apart his own emotions and analyses himself, questioning his own existence through the lens of trying to put himself in context for the audience (in some cases this presents itself as almost trying to justify his actions but thats a different post). damocles does have a bit of this, in the bridge with the 'nobody told me' lines, but primarily, it's about what's happening now, how he feels now, and the entire chorus is focused on the future. that uncertainty in the lyricism, and the honesty of lines like 'no one else knows that i've got a problem' is i think what gives the entire song its whole Vibe, and why i think it's probably one of their hardest hitting tracks so far. before, the stories might have been sad, but they were certain. like, we may be doomed but at least we know we're doomed. but in damocles, vessel doesn't know what's happening or where he goes from here, and that's what makes it scary.

another thing it does really well is capture the whole feeling of catastrophising and overthinking, as shown in the chorus:

"When the river runs dry and the curtain is called / How will I know if I can't see the bottom? / Come up for air and choke on it all / No one else knows that I've got a problem / What if I can't get up and stand tall? / What if the diamond days are all gone, and who will I be when the empire falls? Wake up alone and I'll be forgotten"

a big part of what backs up the uncertainty theme I mentioned earlier is actually the way this part of the song is done technically. the piano is the only instrument alongside vessel's voice as of yet, and it begins softly, mirroring the vocal line in a ballad style, but when the chorus starts, the tempo increases. the entire first chorus happens in the span of about 25 seconds, whereas the first verse lasts twice longer, about 50 seconds. this increase means that the song doesn't feel rushed, but tense, before it slows back down to bring in the drums on verse 2. i don't know about you guys but the first time i listened to it i actually kind of felt a little on edge, because the way it's composed means that it musically raises a question that isn't really answered. in a sense, the chorus never really gets closure, all the questions vessel asks himself don't get any response from sleep, if that's who he's talking to. damocles is telling us a story that doesn't have an ending, not yet.

lyrically though, and this may be somewhat of a self contradiction, but it feels to me like damocles is something of a sequel to caramel. side by side, the songs actually feed fairly well into each other, following similar thematic ideas, but the main split is that caramel is about the pressure of being known and damocles is about the fear of being forgotten. i talked about this already a little in my caramel post but i feel like there's really no way where this song isn't an incredibly personal message from the singer himself, not the character of Vessel.

like let's look at the line from the chorus again: "Who will I be when the empire falls?" and lets take this 'empire' to mean Sleep Token as a project. they've been immensely successful, especially in the past two years, and success for musicians comes as a blessing and a curse. more fans = more people to share your art with and more money gained from concert tickets and merch sales to then fund creating and recording more music, which is all good! however, success also means interest, and interest means critics picking every second of every single apart, it means there will be people who only like you when you're doing one specific thing, and if you deviate from that binary, it will never be as good as your old stuff. sleep token are not just a metal band, and damocles isn't a metal song, and the more you experiment with new styles and techniques in your art, the higher the chances you will alienate people who don't like your new stuff. unfortunately, a lot of people LOVE to voice this dislike online, and with the internet being the behemoth that it is, it's easier for artists to see those critiques. and yeah, fuck the haters, create what makes you happy, i'm all for that, but from an artist's perspective that's way easier said than done. all this to say that the speed at which sleep token gained mainstream popularity, and all the bullshit that comes with it, is undeniably going to take a toll on the musicians themselves.

they've been anonymous throughout their whole career thus far, and have been explicit in saying that choice was made to protect their personal privacy AS IS THEIR RIGHT. but i'm wondering if damocles is in part about the fact that while they stay anonymous to stop Sleep Token from taking over their lives, it kind of feels like it did anyway. because while you can disconnect from the internet and not look at the comments or the critics, there is always this nagging question at the back of your mind that says is it good enough? do they like it? do they like me? did i get it right? am i good enough?. fame is fickle, and if you're not constantly keeping yourself afloat, the tide will drop you. so to me, "Who will I be when the empire falls? / Wake up alone, and I'll be forgotten" sounds like vessel wondering if he's already written himself over in the context of the band, and when 'the empire falls', i.e, when the band ends, does he go back to his normal life? does he start over again? did any of it ever matter?

and the uncertainty comes back, because maybe he doesn't know when the empire will fall, maybe he doesn't want it to. but he is Damocles now, on his throne he looks over the empire, and he waits for the sword to drop.

[sidebar: in the original story of Damocles, he was a courtier of Dionysius (not the god), and flattered his king, essentially saying he was fortunate and blessed to have so much power. Dionysius offered Damocles the chance to sit on his throne for a day, but he had a sword suspended over it by a single horsehair. the moral of the story is that it's a lot more work than it looks to be a leader, and great ones will always have enemies, dangers that are just out of sight but ever-present. Sleep & Vessel parallels anyone????]

MAYBE that's a stretch. but i'm not done because now i want to talk about the bridge.

"And nobody told me I'd be begging for relief / When what is silent to you feels like it's screaming to me / Well, nobody told me I'd get tired of myself / When it all looks like Heaven, but it feels like hell"

THIS is where i am getting the strongest caramel parallel (ha). this is explicitly about chasing this golden promise of fame and love, only to catch it and realise it's burning you. the vocals here are melodic but to me it almost sounds quietly angry as well, like vessel can't openly scream 'nobody warned me', so he sings it instead ("too blessed to be caught ungrateful"). and he's angry because all he wanted to do was make music and share it with people, but Sleep Token isn't just a band anymore, it's also this huge collective of fans that it's built, and when something like that spirals out of control, you can't easily get it back. vessel's anger comes from the fact that he never started this wanting to write songs about how much it hurts to keep doing this. it was supposed to be an outlet and a way to make something beautiful out of pre-existing pain, but now it's come full circle and is the new cause, rather than the cure.

anyway. those are my damocles thoughts somewhat articulated but i may come back to them. i need a whole new post just talking about that drum mix fr

[catt-nuevenor]

The Future

Time to establish what's going to happen from this point forwards.

The vast majority of you have been exceptionally patient this last year, and for that you have my deepest thanks. You've given me the time to not only write a book, but edit it, and send it off to literary agents, something I would have long given up on doing without the continued support of those who enjoy my writing.

Now that the book is off doing the rounds independently, it's time I got back to Myrk Mire.

Originally Myrk Mire was built in ChoiceScript, a scripting language created by the Choice of Games company. Choice of Games control what is done with their script, understandably, they own it. This does pose some restrictions. I can't, for example, release any paid material built using ChoiceScript unless it is directly through their publishing label. If I do publish under their label, I maintain IP or Intellectual Property Rights, however I also grant them the exclusive rights under perpetual license to publish the multiple choice game 'electronically'.

Source: Choice of Games.com

As you can see from the outline above, they do make exceptions for stories published in non-competing formats, and for sequels, prequels, and spin-offs. However, traditional publishing houses might require stricter control over IP, distribution, and exclusivity. It will only become more and more complicated as things progress, and being locked into a perpetual license agreement of any nature is not a decision to make lightly.

As some of you may be sensing from the tone of all this so far, I'm going to be moving Myrk Mire away from Choice of Games and ChoiceScript, and into a new medium/format.

After tinkering, and trialling with a few alternatives, I've decided to go with Renpy. Renpy, while largely used for visual novel style games and stories, provides a very workable framework for interactive fiction, and is an Open Source script, it isn't beholden to publishing contracts, licence cost, or exclusivity.

I'm not going to be diving into transferring Myrk Mire right away, it's a huge piece of writing, in an entirely different scripting language, and as previously stated, there are a lot of changes I want to implement with the cast. Instead, I'm creating a trial story: One Háḟest Day. My Patrons have been aware of all this for about a month or so, and have already seen some previews.

One Háḟest Day takes place in Aldmirham before the events of Myrk Mire, around the time the Main Character and the Wanderers first arrived in town. The reader will have the choice to follow one of the romanceable characters through a single day, with opportunities to explore their lives and relationships before the Main Character and Child come along. I hope it will provide a proving ground for the changes that previously caused debate, and an opportunity for people to try out the new format and interface.

My plan is to distribute One Háḟest Day through Itch.io, working with their early access framework and voluntary payments for such as soon as one of the character routes is ready to play from beginning to end, updating regularly with the other characters as they too are completed, and with additional features as required. Once the full game is complete, I will release a separate full build with a set minimum price that can be discussed with the community as we move forwards.

At the second, I'm aiming for a web hosted format and a desktop/laptop downloadable format, with phone compatibility to come later down the line once things are stable.

I will post production updates and info when I can to tumblr, though a lot of what I'm doing now is very python coding heavy, so perhaps not that interesting?

I've included some screenshots below of very early development, featuring a Character Log and Word Log that I hope will allow readers to more easily navigate the story. I'm toying with the idea of having a Mysteries Log as well that will keep track of snippets of information gleaned from each character's route, but that can be a tinkering feature for now.

Let me know your thoughts, concerns, or excitement, though do keep all messages objective and polite.

[driftbit]

I'm doing @batmanisagatewaydrug's 2025 book bingo card! Thank you to him for these wonderful prompts. I intend to fill the card and update every five books with what I've read! I won't always be this quick, my semester hasn't yet started. Under the cut will be my thoughts about the books I've read so far.

Up Next: At some point I'm gonna reread The Name Of This Book Is Secret by Pseudonymous Bosh which was a favorite of mine when I was a kid. I'm also notoriously Not a romance reader amongst my coworkers, and have inadvertently formed a book club to read Cubs & Campfires by Dylan Drakes in February.

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi is the memoir I read. Initially this was going to be my graphic novel/manga pick and I was going to kick the can down the road for memoir since I don't tend to enjoy them, totally forgetting that Graphic Novel Memoirs Exist And I Own One. This one was fun! I have wanted to get back into manga, and this was a decent place to start. I liked the color palette a lot, although I found the paneling overall very straightforward, the art often replicating what was going on in the text. The story and the journey Nagata went through was really compelling, her frankness was eye-opening, and I really valued hearing her insight on getting oneself to grow for yourself.

Friday Black by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah is the collection of shorts stories I chose. I've had it on my to read list for a while since the last story was mentioned by one of my favorite essayists. It was brutal. The stories really have stuck with me, they're very heavy reads with very little hope, the final stories being the most hopeful of the lot. I really enjoy stories about cycles of violence, and there are a wide variety in here with different points of view, some of which are excruciatingly uncomfortable. Hope isn't often present which makes the spots of it really pop out more.

Boy Island by Leo Fox was recommended to me by my friend and coworker-librarian. They've been getting back into comics while I've been easing away from them for a while. My friend and I have been talking together about being both trans and librarians and tired and frustrated at the world. This book helped remind me I need to get weirder I need to remain freaky as shit in the face of wanting to be The Good Trans Person That People Can Accept Right? (Wrong).

Drowned Country by Emily Tesh is the sequel to the final book I read in 2024, Silver in the Wood, which I loved and ended up crying over. I'm not immune to bears (gay). I have nothing but ire for this sequel. I cannot recommend it. The melancholy ending of the first book? GONE. Fun voice of the bear-huntsman-immortal-man who is very soft spoken and contentious? GONE. Worldbuilding? BROKEN. Just read Silver in the Wood and be done with.

Harrow the Ninth by Tasmyn Muir is my science fiction book. HOOOOOOO BOY. I read Gideon the Ninth last year in December and I already feel like I need to reread both of these. Muir does such a good job tossing you in a world and being like Figure It Out, Sucker! The second ish person point of view. CRAZY GOOD. Had me slack jawed multiple times. Still kinda doubt that I fully understand what was happening at times, especially now that we have complicated bloodline stuff, BUT I'm havin' fun. I love bones. I love weird flesh stuff. I love whatever the fuck is going on with God. One flesh one end.

[smaller-comfort]

For the WIP ask thing:

1, 2, 10, 11 (!!! Shovel Knight, of course!), 12, annnd 17. Really, I wanna know ALL the SoS WIPs, but let's start off with these.

Whew, okay, let's go!

Staycation/Monday

Me: I can definitely come up with enough fun kinky scenarios to write a week's worth of stories for Aephorul's vacation

Also me: he's a 45 year old man with chronic back pain, there's no way he's having this much sex on the floor without suffering Consequences. By Wednesday he's going to be too sore to get out of bed and Resh'an is going to be anemic from blood loss.

Anyway, Monday is the petplay story. I am currently stuck at a crossroads: do I write some relatively straightforward smut with collars and leashes and a dash of breeding kink? Or do I commit to Resh'an's sexual dysfunction, and the fact that he's really not supposed to orgasm until Friday- in which case I will have to figure out how to describe one of these, and its wearable counterpart. (link is very nsfw.)

The other staycation wips that I've made some progress on are the play piercing and shibari scene and the nipple torture/caning/general bondage scene. Plus a little bit of Friday, which is when they see how many times Resh'an can come after being stuck in a cage all week. (spoiler: they lose count.)

A scene that I want to write for them eventually, but maybe not within the Staycation series, is where they do some silly Mad Scientist roleplay- because even in this AU, there's going to be tentacle sex, damnit.

2. I fuckin hate the eagles, man

This is actually mostly a Messenger wip, and is the sequel to Hotel California. The title is, uh. because. Hotel California-> The Eagles-> The Great Eagle-> everything is Resh'an's fault-> I think I'm very funny-> at some point they're going to watch The Big Lebowski during movie night in the Tower of Time. There are currently 4 wips in that file; the first is a scene I didn't include in HC, where Ninja and Arty talk about the Sunken Shrine.

The second one is the Monk/Ninja pegging fic. Ninja can't even spell "PTSD", nevermind "queerplatonic". It's fine. He'll be fine! Eventually. Probably. ...maybe.

Third wip is the Ninja/Phantom smut, which is mostly just a wholesome good time for everybody, but Ninja does still cry during sex. I'm sorry, I keep doing this to him, I can't seem to help it.

The fourth one isn't even a wip, it's just a scene where Ninja meets Resh'an and hits on him. I feel like this one might be your fault, honestly. If this ever goes anywhere, I swear Ninja won't cry about it. Resh'an might, though.

--

"So are you like. A skeleton under there?"

Resh'an laughed. "Sometimes. I can use alchemy to temporarily approximate my living body. It doesn't work for very long, though."

"Can I see?" Resh'an wasn't a Blue Robe; there wasn't any taboo about asking to see his face.

"I- I suppose so." Resh'an seemed a little taken aback at the question. He fiddled with his alchemy vial for a moment. "I haven't done this in a while, give me a minute-"

Watching people do magic never got old. Maybe in a few hundred years he'd graduate to being ready to learn it himself; it was something to look forward to.

When the glowy light from the spell faded, Resh'an tugged down his face mask and squinted a little.

"Oh- wow. You're cute!" Shit. But the Archivist was- he'd been expecting a wrinkled old man, not this bright-eyed, adorable nerd.

"I- what?" Resh'an's eyes widened; he lifted a hand to touch his face. "Th-thank you?"

---

10. all we need of hell

This is part 4 of parting is all we know of heaven, which is the series where all of my B'st/Resh'an fic takes place. As the title kind of suggests, this one is a bit darker than the rest of the series; I get to dig into B'st's backstory a little, and all of the things he's kept hidden from Resh'an over the years. Aephorul shows up and is awful. (Everybody gets to be a little bit awful in this one, actually!) Resh'an has a few moments of badassery, but they're tempered with an equal number of moments where he's a sad wet rag.

Here he is being badass:

----

Aephorul's laughter came out as a dry hiss. “Are you threatening me?”

“I'm making a statement of fact.” The time shards hanging in the air all had razor sharp edges.

Aephorul leaned a little closer, as if he were examining Resh'an. “You're actually serious. How novel! What would you even do, I wonder?”

Resh'an narrowed his eyes. The ground beneath them began to shake, just a faint, distant tremor at first, followed by a shrieking howl.

The mountain broke open. In the heart of the shattered earth was something terrible, and hungry-

“Are you out of your mind?”

-snap-

The ground beneath them began to shake, just a faint, distant tremor at first, followed by a shrieking howl.

The mountain broke open. A darkness yawned open in the depths of the shattered earth, swallowing up the remains of the mountain, the fortress, the continent. Magma burst forth explosively, sublimating into superheated plasma. Reality warped around them, as the dead star Resh'an had summoned began to devour the planet.

-snap-

The ground began to shake.

“Stop! Stop- enough- are you mad- Fine!” Aephorul sat on a fallen piece of masonry with his head in his hands. “Fine. I'll help you. What do you want, Resh'an.”

----

11. shovel knight

There are 2 wips in this file. The first is Donovan/Luan, with an "and there was only one bed" recurring scenario taken to ridiculous extremes. I don't know if this one will actually end with them getting together or if it just stays angsty and one-sided; most of what I've written so far has just been Donovan in a state of "Oh fuck oh no he's hot".

The second is the one where Specter gets gang banged by the Enchantress and the Knights of No Quarter. Most of them, anyway. The Enchantress is probably going to mind control anyone who tries to protest or decline. Specter gets to keep his helmet on, but that's pretty much the only mercy he gets here. (I keep thinking of ways to make this one much, much worse but I'm probably going to chicken out.)

17. isolation

Oh god, okay, this file is a mess. Most of it is more B'st/Resh'an in the parting universe, although it's probably more of an AU to that series than anything else. A lot of it is wildly self indulgent Resh'an angst, where he ends up reenacting some of the abuse he experienced at Aephorul's hands with B'st, and it's kind of fucked up and unhealthy for everyone involved. There's also an angsty breakup scene, unrelated to the psychosexual torture. And there's a fairly innocuous and cute scene where they meet up on the Vespertine and Hortense roasts Resh'an mercilessly.

Like I said, a mess.

There's also this bit of Messenger wip, which is extremely silly but I don't really care. This might get thrown into I fuckin hate the eagles, man.

---

The Key of Love was melting.

“Arty! A little help over here?” he yelled.

He heard a few loud clanks from the workroom behind him. The music note dripped slowly onto the floor, leaving a glassy pink puddle on the ground. Ninja looked around frantically for a bucket or something- it couldn't be good to have the embodiment of divine love just kind of slopped all over the floor.

The last bit of the floating music note dripped onto the floor. Ninja stared at the puddle. It stared back.

“What the-” He jumped back and drew his sword. The puddle rippled, blinked, and began to rise up from the ground. Shit. “Shit. Arty! Prophet! C'mon, you guys, Monk is too busy making out with Shopkeeper- shit-”

One last crash from behind him, and Arty finally popped across the hall. “What's going on over he- B'ST!”

Ninja startled a little as Arty launched himself at the hulking mass that had been the Key of Love. It sprouted a pair of arms and caught him with a clang, and staggered back on two blocky legs from Arty's momentum.

The leap had knocked Arty's hood askew; his froggy face was beaming, and now he was talking too fast to really follow- "I searched the crypt six times and I couldn't find you, but all my calculations said you had to make it, Shopkeeper even said Prophet might have been wrong but I knew it, I knew you would make it, you're here, you finally came back, you have to meet everybody and we can show you the thing and-"

---

[acknowledge-reigns]

Kiss It Better | Zilla Fatu x Black!Fem OC | 18+!

Description: Kiley and Zilla get to know each other better.

Chapter: 2/5

Face Claim: Halle Bailey

Warnings: Petnames, pinning, flirting, bickering.

This is the Zilla x Kiley sequel to Swipe Right and Rivals With Benefits. As always my stories are NOT about real people and does not reflect their character. While there is not smut in Chapter 1, there will be in others. This is very much an 18+ BDSM based romance with some comedy thrown in there. If kink content isn't for you, please scroll. You have been warned.

Word count: 2,119

My masterlist can be found here.

Taglist: @hunnidmilly @acute-crashout-jeyuso

@lov3rla03

Zilla's smirk widens as he looks Kiley up and down, clearly appreciating the view.

"Nice to see you, babygirl," he says, his voice dripping with charm. "The guest room is down the hall, first door on the left."

Kiley raises an eyebrow at his pet name, but she can't deny the spark of attraction that ignites in her chest. She gives him a cool look, trying to play it off.

"Guess I'll be getting settled in then," she says, brushing past him and making her way down the hall to the guest room.

Zilla watches her walk away, his gaze lingering on her curves. He can't help but admire the way she carries herself, confident and unbothered by his presence. He smirks to himself, knowing this is going to be an interesting month.

Once Kiley is settled in the guest room, she takes a moment to unpack her bags and get her things organized. She can't help but feel a bit nervous, knowing that she's going to be spending so much time with Zilla, but she tries to push those feelings aside.

As she unpacks, Kiley can hear the sounds of Zilla moving around in the house. She can't deny that there's something about him that draws her in, despite her better judgment.

Kiley finishes unpacking and takes a moment to survey the guest room. It's spacious and comfortable, with a queen-sized bed and a plush rug on the floor. She'd be willing to bet Ms LT, Zilla's mom had decorated his place. She flops down on the bed, letting out a sigh as she tries to mentally prepare herself for the upcoming month.

As she lies there, her mind wanders to thoughts of Zilla. She can't help but picture his muscular frame, his smirk, and those piercing eyes. She mentally scolds herself for letting herself be so distracted by him.

Kiley is jolted out of her thoughts by the sound of rumbling coming from the kitchen. Curious, she gets up and makes her way down the hall, only to find Zilla standing at the counter, attempting to chop something with a single hand.

She watches him struggle for a moment, amusement flickering in her eyes. He's clearly trying to act tough, but it's clear that he's having a hard time.

"Need some help?" she calls out, leaning against the doorframe.

Zilla looks up, caught off guard by her presence. He tries to play it cool, but there's a hint of sheepishness in his expression.

"I've got it under control," he insists, but the knife clatters to the counter, contradicting his words.

Kiley laughs softly, pushing herself off the doorframe and walking over to him.

"Sure you do," she says, picking up the knife and taking over the chopping. "Looks like you're having a real easy time with that arm of yours."

Zilla grumbles under his breath, clearly annoyed at being caught in the act. He leans against the counter, watching as she effortlessly chops up the food.

"I could've done it," he mutters pouting like a toddler.

Kiley chuckles at his petulant expression, enjoying the fact that she's managed to get under his skin.

"Sure you could've," she says, her tone dripping with sarcasm. "You were doing a great job nearly stabbing yourself, after all."

Zilla scowls, his cheeks burning. He hates being teased, especially by someone he finds attractive.

"I didn't ask for your help." He said in irritation.

"Well your tribal chief asked for me to come babysit ya ass, so take that shit up with him." Kiley replied.

Zilla grumbles again, knowing that she has a point. He snarls, trying to maintain his gruff exterior despite the fact that he's enjoying their banter.

"Whatever," he mutters, looking away. "Just don't think you're some kind of savior for cutting up some damn fruit."

"Bet, next time I'll let you struggle or starve then." Kiley argued.

Zilla's eyes narrow at her threat, his pride pricked by her words.

"I wouldn't starve," he retorts. "I could order pizza or something."

"I'm getting paid to take care of you anyway, dummy. I couldn't let you starve if i wanted to." She said.

Zilla grumbles again, realizing that she has a point once more. He hates feeling like he's at her mercy, but he also can't deny the fact that he enjoys having her around.

"You're annoyin' as hell, you know that?" he mutters.

"Your mom and your cousins just want you to rest so you can get back in the ring as soon as possible." Kiley tried again to explain with a sigh.

Zilla rolls his eyes, clearly not in the mood to hear reason.

"I know that," he snaps. "But I don't need a damn babysitter to do it. I can take care of myself."

Kiley raises an eyebrow at his stubbornness.

"Really?" she asks, a hint of sarcasm in her voice. "Then why the fuck you not in bed?"

Zilla grumbles again, knowing that he doesn't have a good excuse. He crosses his arms over his chest, trying to maintain his tough guy persona.

"I was hungry," he mutters grudgingly.

Kiley chuckles at his grumpy expression, enjoying the fact that she's managed to ruffle his feathers.

"And you couldn't wait for me to cook you something?" she asks, her tone teasing.

Zilla scowls, his cheeks flushing slightly at her teasing. He doesn't want to admit that he was secretly looking forward to seeing her again.

"I don't need you to cook for me," he grumbles. "I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself."

After they finish eating, Kiley notices how tired Zilla looks. She can see the exhaustion in his eyes and the way he's been struggling to stay awake throughout the meal.

"You look like you could use some rest," she says gently.

Zilla bristles at her suggestion, his stubbornness flaring up again.

"I'm fine," he protests, even though his body is clearly begging for rest. "I don't need to sleep."

Kiley rolls her eyes at his stubbornness, clearly not buying it.

"You're not fine," she says firmly. "You're exhausted. And you need to rest to get better."

Zilla huffs, crossing his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

"I don't want to rest," he mutters stubbornly. "I hate just sitting around doing nothing."

Kiley sighs, recognizing his frustration. She knows that he's used to being active and on the move, not stuck in bed all day.

"I know it's hard for you," she says sympathetically. "But you need to let your body heal. Resting is important."

Zilla grins mischievously, an idea forming in his mind.

"Fine," he says, his voice laced with feigned reluctance. "I'll go to bed... if you come with me."

Kiley's eyes widen in surprise at his unexpected request. She hadn't been expecting him to say that.

"You want me to come with you?" she asks, her voice a mixture of shock and amusement.

Zilla smirks, enjoying the effect his words are having on her.

"That's right," he says, his voice low and seductive. "I'm not going to bed unless you're by my side."

Kiley can feel her heart racing in her chest. She knows that he's playing with fire, but she can't help but be intrigued by the idea.

"And what makes you think I'll agree to that?" she asks, trying to keep her voice steady.

Zilla grins, leaning in closer to her.

"Because deep down, you want to be there," he says, his voice dripping with confidence. "You want to be close to me, to feel my body next to yours."

Kiley swallows hard, her body responding to his words. She tries to deny it, but she can't ignore the way her heart skips a beat or the heat that spreads through her veins.

"You're insufferable, and full of yourself." she mutters, her voice betraying her true feelings.

Zilla chuckles, knowing that he's getting under her skin. He reaches out and gently tucks a strand of hair behind her ear.

"Maybe," he admits, his touch sending shivers down her spine. "But you can't deny the effect I have on you."

Kiley tries to maintain her composure, but it's difficult when he's so close to her. She can feel his breath on her skin, his earthy scent filling her senses.

"You're infuriating," she whispers, her voice barely above a whisper.

Zilla smirks, his hand trailing down her jawline to her chin. He gently tilts her face up, forcing her to meet his gaze.

"But you love it," he murmurs, his eyes dark with desire, "You gon' keep insulting me or you bringing your pretty ass to bed?"

Kiley hesitates for a moment, her mind warring with her body. She knows she shouldn't give in to him, but the heat in his eyes and the feel of his touch are making it difficult to resist.

Finally, she sighs in defeat.

"Fine," she mutters, "I'll come to bed with you."

Zilla grins triumphantly, clearly pleased with himself. He stands up and holds out his hand to her.

"Come on then," he says, his voice husky with anticipation.

They make their way to the bedroom, their hands still intertwined. Zilla lays down on the bed and pulls Kiley down with him, wrapping his uninjured arm around her.

They lay there in silence for a few moments, their bodies pressed together. Kiley can feel the heat radiating off of Zilla's body, and the steady beat of his heart against her back.

As they lay there, the silence between them becomes less awkward and more comfortable. They start to get to know each other, sharing stories and talking about their pasts.

Zilla tells her about his life, losing his father and getting mixed up in the wrong crowd and ultimately spending his teen years behind bars. Kiley listens intently, feeling a pang of sympathy for him. She can sense the pain and loneliness that he's carried with him for so long.

In turn, Kiley shares her own story with him. She tells him about her upbringing and about losing both of her parents at an early age and being looked after by her older sisters Iris and Jax. Zilla listens, surprised by how similar their experiences were in some ways and how different they were in others.

They talk long into the night, their voices soft and intimate. Kiley finds herself opening up to Zilla in a way she hasn't with anyone else. There's something about him that makes her feel safe and understood.

Zilla, for his part, is captivated by her. He finds himself drawn to her kindness and resilience, and he's impressed by her strength. For the first time in a long time, he feels a connection with someone, a deep and powerful connection that goes beyond physical attraction.

Zilla finds himself drawn to the way her eyes sparkle when she laughs, the way her body fits perfectly against his.

He wants to touch her, to run his hands over her curves and feel her skin beneath his fingers. But he restrains himself, knowing that he needs to take things slow and respect her boundaries. For now, he's content to just hold her in his arms and listen. Get to know the woman he was most certainly gonna make his someday.

As the night wears on, Zilla's exhaustion begins to catch up with him. He fights it, not wanting to fall asleep and lose this moment with Kiley. But eventually, his eyelids grow heavy and his body relaxes against hers.

He drifts off to sleep, his arm still wrapped around her, a contented smile on his face.

Kiley stays awake for a little while longer, listening to the sound of his steady breathing and daydreaming about his beautiful big brown eyes. She's surprised at how peaceful he looks when he's asleep, the lines of tension and worry that usually etch his face now gone.

She takes the opportunity to study him, taking in the strong lines of his jaw and the way his dark hair falls over his forehead. She can feel her heart swelling with affection for him, and she knows that she's in trouble.

Kiley carefully extricates herself from Zilla's embrace and reaches for her phone on the bedside table. She shoots a quick text to Iris and Jax, asking if they're free for lunch tomorrow.

Both Iris and Jax reply almost immediately, expressing their excitement and confirming their availability for lunch. They're curious about what Kiley needs to talk about, but they agree to meet her at their usual cafe.

Kiley sets her phone back down and settles back into bed, her mind racing as she found herself snuggling back up to him and wondering what the hell she's doing.

Previous Chapter ●◉◎◈◎◉● Next Chapter

[zepskies]

Okay, now that I was able to go through the list, time for some questions! From your ask game, how about #7, #12, #15, and #25? And I didn't see it on there but is there a character/genre you never expected to like writing for but ended up enjoying it? 🤔

I love it I love it! Thanks, Michelle! I sent you a few too.~ 💓💓 So people know, this is still from the End of Year Asks.

#7. Comfort character to create for

It's changed over the years depending on my fixations, but right now (and for the past 2 years), it's definitely Dean freakin' Winchester.

#12. A concept you’d like to develop next year

Oof, how much time you got? 🤣

I have a few WIPs that are already drafted and in the editing phases for next year -- including all of my remaining fics for @jacklesversebingo. (Jacklesverse Bingo24 Masterlist here!)

More specifically, I have plans to write sequel fics for the following series:

Break Me Down (Soldier Boy x Reader): Their son's first birthday, with a flashback to their wedding day.

Unravel Me (Soldier Boy x POC!Reader): The prequel series to Lost in Translation, in which Ben meets the reader (afro Latina).

Every Second Counts (Russell Shaw x Reader): Can Russell make good on his promise to "get out" and start his brewery? (AKA: his past comes knocking, and might just put the reader in danger. Diving deeper into the Shaw family history too.)

Take Me Home (Beau Arlen x Reader): Because YOU, Michelle, put the idea of Beau and the reader from this series getting married into my head, and I feel like it would be a fun and somewhat angsty road to get there lol. 😂

#15. An area of your art you feel you improved on

Oooh now this one really made me think.

I feel like other people who've been reading my work for a while might be able to give me better insight into this, but I do feel like I've gotten better at balancing the angst and tension of a story with romantic fluff and humor, witty banter, etc.

You can't have the lighthearted romance without the heavier notes of the keyboard, know what I mean? lol

But too much angst isn't all that fun for me either. So something I've learned in studying screenwriting is how to try and build up to those high-tension, dramatic moments, but also have the payoff and catharsis of hurt/comfort and sweet fluff. Ebbs and flows.

#25. A scene or image that lives rent-free in your head

Veeery interesting. Of my own writing or someone else's? Recently I've had scenes from Outlander (Dean Winchester x OFC | Western AU) replaying in my head, probably because I've been editing each part over and over. 😂

But also in reading Polaris by @waynes-multiverse, there's a scene where the reader has just found out that Randy (her husband) is actually alive...but she's already been in a loving relationship with Beau for a while now. This bit of description from Chapter 9 has filtered in and out of my head ever since I read it because it was so damn brilliant:

The cool, breezy autumn air whipped you across your face, a sharp, frigid sting in your lungs that burned right through to your heart. Each breath you desperately clutched was a fight for life. Your mind, moonstruck and lunatic, spun complicated cobwebs. Your feeble body and fragile bones threatened to crumble and crack underneath the devastating weight of the truth. You crouched down on the parking lot asphalt, head heavy in your shaking hands. “Hey, hey, just breathe…” Beau’s deep voice and warm hand on your back were a short-lived comfort before the first sob broke through you.

Bonus Question: Is there a character/genre you never expected to like writing for but ended up enjoying it? 🤔

That's an awesome question. I think I could have a few different answers for this, but Soldier Boy very much took me by surprise. We've talked about this before, but when I watched season 3, the first thing I thought of with his character was, How could he be redeemed?

And Break Me Down was born. 🤣 It was also my first ever enemies to lovers fic, though I didn't consciously realize that when I started developing the series. Of course, you know what happened after that. It's become a whole damn universe of fics. 😅💚

Another example would be Boaz Priestly from 10 Inch Hero. I NEVER thought I would write for that character, but after rewatching the movie last year, he was just too adorable -- and different from any role Jensen has played. I ended up writing a couple of fics for him, not knowing if I was getting his character write (like Soldier Boy lmao). But I so enjoyed writing to his quirks and writing a reader character that I thought could match him. 💜

Thank you SO much for these questions, Michelle!! And Happy New Year! I hope you like the questions I picked out for you. 😘

[borrowedtimeandspace]

A Reader's Guide to the Multiverse

Hello! Welcome to my sandbox!

Artwork by the lovely @abookishweasel

Though I still write long-form stories collaboratively with friends, my own writing has become more short-form and sporadic. This can make things a bit confusing for the blog, since there isn't an easy way to organize everything. That's what I use Ao3 for (user The_Raconteur_24601). And even there, it can be a bit complicated.

Under the cut is a guide to the stories you'll find featured on this blog; my attempt at organizing them here, and links to their counterparts on Ao3. My asks are always open for any questions this post doesn't answer! [EDIT: anon has been turned off for now]

Borrowed Time (and Space)

A Doctor Who/The Borrowers Crossover

Ao3 Series | Meet the OCs

Doctor Who belongs to the BBC, The Borrowers belongs to Mary Norton, and Zepheera and other borrower OCs belong to me.

It's the name of the blog, the OG, the one that started it all. The primary premise for this series is: The Doctor (usually Ten) takes on a four and a half inch tall borrower named Zepheera as a companion. It's all a bit wibbly-wobbly, but let me set things straight.

Common tags for the stories (and various posts) are #doctor who gt or #doctor who g/t (which stands for giant/tiny and indicates the involvement of drastic size difference, for the uninitiated) and #BTaS AU

Episode 1 | Minisode | Episode 2 | Episode 3

Originally there were ambitions to try and make the series episodic, like your typical season of Doctor Who but with a borrower tossed in. As such, the first three stories in the series are titled as 'Episodes'. These were among the first long-form stories I'd ever written and posted, so they predate the blog. That, and my writing style and ideas for the canon of the series have changed drastically since then. See this post for more details on that, and this one if you're not worried about spoilers.

The tl;dr of it is: These Episodes are the basis for the AU, but I don't consider them canon enough to impact any other stories in a meaningful way unless I say so.

Zepheera's Origins - In which I started cracking down on my borrower companion's characterization and backstory, compiling a number of prompts set during the time before she met the Doctor.

Zepheera-Visions - These were a fun writing exercise for me during this blog's early years! I would come up with shorts based on Doctor Who gifs that feature some low or high angle shot, imagining Zepheera as the point of perspective in them. If I were at all good at making gifs myself, I might have kept it up. A lot of the AU that ultimately came about branched off from these gimmicks, and still feature them in their stories. Here, they can be viewed under the #Zepheera-Vision tag.

Tales from the Vortex - A compilation of various prompts and shorts that take places in the BTaS-Verse, but don't have any major stories attached to them. These span different Doctors other than Ten, and feature a few other companions in some of them. Sometimes, enough stories accumulate with a similar theme to expand into their own AU, which leads me to...

Borrowed Time and Space AU

The Donna Trilogy - This was originally called the Donna AU, and the original shorts were tagged with #DonnaAU or #Donna AU. Nowadays, I've started to give AU their own titles and tagging them on blog posts. And recent events in Doctor Who have inspired this to span more than one story, making this the first multipart BTaS AU!

Part 1 - A Patient, and Time. [tag] [Ao3] Part 2 - If I Could Turn Back Time [tag] [Ao3] Part 3 - TBD...

To The Nines - One of the first AU created in which Zepheera is companion to a Doctor other than Ten! Despite titling the story later on, I must have had the idea for it earlier because a lot of the early shorts are tagged #To the Nines AU. Other tags include #nine AU and #To the Nines.

Time After Time - This AU, while it is NOT a sequel to any existing story, assumes that Zepheera and the Tenth Doctor went on their adventures in the past, and got separated at some point. Then Zepheera manages to find the Twelfth Doctor while he's at St. Luke's and meets Bill Potts. This was one AU that developed slowly over time once I realized I could get a story arc out of it, so a good chunk of the shorts are in the tag #Time After Time.

Borrowed Magic - co-written with @neonthewrite Ao3 | DA

The first BTaS crossover ever posted! The wonderful neon lent me her boi Bowman from her story "Bowman of Wellwood" ( Paperback EBook Amazon ) to join my little TARDIS crew.

Lost in Flight - The inaugural story to introduce a tiny winged guy raised in the woods to all of time and space. It's so far the only complete story we've written, but we're absolutely open to prompts and suggestions for shenanigans for the crew to get into!

Through the Cracks of Time and Space - co-written with @t3a-tan Ao3

Ao3 | Tumblr Masterlist - The Doctor and Zepheera take a dip into tea's rich world, meeting goodest boi Oliver and roping him into their odd investigation. Will they all make new friends? An enemy or two?

Brothers Apart AU - co-written with @nightmares06 Ao3 | DA

A SuperLock/Borrowers Crossover

Brothers Apart Ao3 | Meet the OCs

Supernatural belongs to the CW, Sherlock to the BBC, Brothers Apart to nighmares06, and listed OCs to me.

Brothers Apart is a borrower AU of Supernatural written by the inimitable nightmares06. We have collaborated on a few of the various AU based on that story, in which I bring the BBC Sherlock angle.

I don't post nearly as much here about BAU (Brothers Apart AU) since most questions about it are fielded at the dedicated blog @brothersapart; most of what can be found here are miscellaneous prompts and character tidbits. Brothers Apart AU posts made here get filed under #BAU.

More AU exist than listed below, and will be added as they're posted.

Brothers Consulted - Cursed Winchesters end up in London and join forces with the Baker Street crew to solve mysteries, as they do. #Brothers Consulted

Brothers Chosen - Canon Winchesters find a borrower during a hunt and have to figure out what to do with him.

A Tale of Two Sizes - Part of an unannounced BAU, featuring Stan and his family in a universe where Stan is a size-shifter. Finally compiled these into one collection. #size shifter Stan

Tales from the Multiverse - A recently renamed compilation of prompts that don't (or don't yet) have their own story, that have nothing to do with BTaS and/or have to do with my cowritten works.

Miscellaneous

The Brave Little Baker - In which I toss Stan and Nate into a fantasy world of giants and giant slayers! Also based on a series of prompts, revised and compiled into their own story once I had enough of them.

GT July

These prompt challenges have done wonders to keep me writing and inspired!

2022 Masterpost | 2023 Masterpost