#this isn't me asking for advice or suggestions or anything btw

[irbcallmefynn]

I love how I'm always wanting to play survival minecraft but when i actually do I just don't fucking do anything. I can't build very well I'm terrible at redstone, I don't like pvp, you can't adventure for more than 5 minutes without filling up your inventory or using the (frankly op) shulker boxes+ender chest. Playing with friends has helped, and I've had fun playing with them. But when I have nothing to do or not many people are online I get so fucking bored and it kinda kills my mood a bit.

[my-castles-crumbling]

hi Cas ! how are you ?

I'm struggling in the romance department right now lmao so I thought you might have some advice :(

Basically there is this girl I really REALLY like. We met through a friend three years ago, but in person only a year ago. Seeing her in person literally changed me I never liked someone this much like I was BEWITCHED or something. We only spent two days together and we only had one kiss, but I never managed to get her out of my head.

I never saw her again because she left to study abroad for a year. Now she's back in my country but we live a bit far away so I haven't seen her. When she was abroad we kept talking and flirting etc. But at one point she told me she had met somebody and that she wanted to try with him. It ended up not working and she reached out to me after some time, so we began talking (and flirting) again.

The thing is, for a few weeks now I feel like she isn't exactly flirting with me anymore. Except she kinda is. She is a writer and she has a writing instagram account where she posted poems that are clearly romantic but also clearly not about me. At least I really don't think so. It feels like a knife in the heart everytime. To be noted that usually if not always she does write about personal things that are really happening. So I'm pretty sure there is someone else in her mind. Which is fine because we didn't promise each other anything. But she is still replying to my stories etc and saying things that could pass as friendly but only if we didn't have history you know ? Like she's making lesbian jokes (i'm also a girl).

So the mixed signals are killing me. I also don't understand bc she said something about the guy before, but she didn't say anything this time. I feel like maybe she .... keeps her options open. (which is fine btw, I'm just unsure if she's still into me or not) I can't exactly ask her because we don't talk a lot (I'm so bad at keeping in touch if I have nothing specific to say yk?) and I don't want to come off as intrusive.

I would really like to see her in person so maybe we could talk and/or I could understand better where her heart is at. But being so unsure I don't want to propose a date or something bc I feel like it would be really out of the blue right now, and one of us would have to take the train and sleep at the other's place, so it feels like a lot and something she could refuse easily so I really don't feel comfortable doing that. I want it to be clear that I'm still into her bc I don't know if she is aware of it (it's obvious imo but I know she has confidence issues and at one point she thought I didn't care) but I also don't want to come off too strong and scare her away, and/or get rejected (not sure my heart could take it right now😭)

So I'm thinking maybe an outing with friends (we have several in common now) but again it is complicated bc everyone lives far away. Also she doesn't talk to one of them anymore, and that friend coul take it very badly if she's not invited so that would be a whole other mess (but honestly that friend is annoying and quite toxic and has a lot of issues so... I'm trying not to think too much of that)

Anyway I'm really lost, I really don't to give up on her, like it hurts a lot to think about, but also I feel like maybe she isn't as invested as I am. I would 100% take a train to the other side of the country to see her but I fear she isn't even thinking about that. Maybe I'm paranoid though. Also I think it's not so bad if someone isn't completely in it from the beginning, like some people are more guarded and careful than me and it's okay.

I don't know if you'll be able to help me, but I'd really like to hear your opinion on this. Thanks a lot <3

Hi!!! <3

What you said at the end is exactly what I was thinking though- maybe she's just guarded or nervous? I think you should try to give little hints or like...idk suggest meeting somewhere maybe? See how she reacts? Maybe she's just as nervous, if not more nervous than you. If she's iffy about it, it'll make it clear to you that she just wants to be friends. But if she jumps at the chance, then that's your sign. And even if you can't meet in person, maybe try being a bit more forward? I know it's scary but like...you have to know! You don't have to all-out ask her out, just be a bit more flirty and see if she reciprocates. You said you've kissed in the past so in my opinion, that means there's hope, you know?

Good luck! Naming you train anon.

[myfanfic-urfantrash]

I know this isn't really a request but if it's fine, can I ask for some advice? 😭

I want to write character x reader fics but I'm afraid of getting the character "ooc". What should I do?

Oh btw it's fine if this gets ignored, but if it doesn't then thanks so much in advance!

Sure I can try to give some advice though be warned I am typing so fast things might blur together :D

Under the read more cause it loooong

You're afraid of getting a character to be out of character? My suggestion is that you do your research! What do I mean by that? Well I mean study whatever information about that character you're able to find. This can be character audios that are within a game, pages of manga where they show up and dialog between them and other characters.

Every bit counts but don't ignore other characters in the process because in order to get a good feel of a character you need to see what others think of them. Like do other characters think they're pretty nice and caring, do people hate them and why do they. You should also consider the environment the character is in as well as whatever culture the character's environment may be based on.

I would say not to create and Alternate Universes until you've got a good hang of what you're working with first as you could add unnecessary details and get lost while trying to figure out what is what. But I do encourage writing shorter smaller works be it headcanons, short scenarios/imagines to get started. Don't worry about making the character out of character when you first start out because even the best of writers can make a mistake here and there.

I also encourage writing for yourself first before taking requests from other people. This can be hard if you don't have any ideas of what to write in the first place but think about what you'd like to read but haven't seen yet on any of the sites where you read. For me as an example I saw many fics where Scaramouche was rather degrading or down right abusive to the reader, I didn't like that so I wrote a few where while he's still abrasive, it's part of his personality, he does treat the reader with care with his actions rather than words.

If you still have no idea what to write I suggest looking up writing prompts! Those can be a great way to get started. I also encourage just writing but not deleting anything as you go until the very end because if you're too busy deleting stuff you're too busy to write!

I'd also suggest writing things in more than one point of view while writing character x readers it could help you figure out what style you prefer to use and what sounds better to you.

But back to the topic! If making a character ooc is what you're worried about when writing try to think about what would cause a character to say/do something rather than "____ would never say/do that!" I say this because you limit yourself by thinking a character would never do something like let's say for example murder if they're a kind a warm soul.

You need to think what would drive someone so kind and welcoming to kill someone. Perhaps they had no choice as it was either them or their enemy because they were trying to protect someone precious to them. Think about stuff like this and you'll slowly open your mind to the wonderful possibilities your writing can take.

Let's use Jing Yuan as an in game example for a scenario where you'd think he wouldn't do something: Helping Criminals. In the main quest Jing Yuan works with the Stellaron Hunters in order to get Dan Heng to awaken his powers again. Now The Stellaron Hunters are wanted criminals ALL over the universe basically, what would drive a General who has every right to arrest them to let them leave without capture? Simple: There's a bigger threat that they can't deal with that needs a specific person, Dan Heng, to gain access to.

I dunno if this is clear enough of what I mean but I hope this helps you and any other writer who wants to get into writing character x reader.

[pluraladvice]

hi. i noticed someone else sent a similar ask but i might as well just throw mine in.. i don't really have anyone to approach about this. no one safe at least. i've been struggling with this for a couple years already.

i experience dissociative disorders, specifically depersonalization, but as far as *i* know, i'm not plural. but i've been suspecting for a while i may experience plurality in some way. i just feel like i'm in a constant state of identity crisis among other stuff i won't get too deep into. but i have no idea if i'm just feeling this way because i depersonalize or what. i'm not about to ask you to diagnose me obviously that'd be ridiculous.

what's i've been goinythru thats making me feel this way is that i never feel permanent. like i never have a clear sense of my identity or who i am at the moment. this even affects my friendships and work life.

i've been looking into p-did for a couple years. but of course dont want to end up being "wrong" and then getting in trouble for faking or anything. what makes it so hard is that i also have h-bpd and other mental illness like psychosis that make it impossible to tell. i guess i just want to know, do you have any advice for figuring things out? or how to "tell"?? i don't know?? i really do want to just take the first step into figuring things out but i have no clue how. even if i do end up not being plural.

and i don't know if validation is what i need, but im not against it. thank you have a great day. love this blog btw. 👍

Never feeling permanent and having a loss of identity is a major factor in most dissociative disorders. And so is depersonalization. I, obviously, cannot tell you one way or another if you are or are not a system. I would suggest finding spaces that make room for questioning plurals and interacting with them, make a safe space for you and just reach out to what feels like headmates. I highly suggest not trying to dig into trauma or anything. That is a very bad and dangerous idea if you are not ready, not in a safe place mentally, physically, or emotionally, or without the proper tools to do so. However, asking headmates their names or favorite colors in a discord server only for you or in a notebook isn't a dangerous act. It's like reaching out to make friends when you were younger, in a sense.

[las-lus]

Hi friend!! I wanted to talk a little about your tags on this post because I think they are super important and insightful.

(ID in alt text)

I thought it might be worth adding to the discussion that sometimes one person can't do all of these things, which is why it's so important to have a community, and also why it's important to recognise multiple forms of participating in a community. Maybe someone can't hold my hand because they're touch averse, but they can still sit with me while I process something difficult. Maybe one person is bad at makeup but they give you all their old eye shadow and introduce you to their brother who can show you how to get your liquid eyeliner perfectly symmetrical.

There are a lot of things on this list that I would do in a heartbeat. But I don't think I could punch someone, even a cop or a nazi. It isn't in my nature and I wouldn't be very good at it. I think, though, that I could get between someone and a cop to try to defuse a loaded situation. I know a few people willing to use physical force in the right circumstances, and if I knew in advance that might become necessary, I could ask them for help. I think I could take a punch from a cop to shield someone in my community. I guess you never really know until you're in that situation - maybe I really would punch them, or maybe I'd freeze up - but my experience in similar situations suggests I'm best suited to distracting, defusing, and supporting the person who's being targeted. I think it's worth validating these kinds of alternatives for people who can't or don't want to engage in direct violence themselves.

Do you disagree? I'd be interested to hear your perspective.

Hi friend!! Sorry about the late reply, i loved that ask and wanted to take my time answering it.

I 100% agree with you. I have dear friends (including you!!) Who are very far away and yet feel like community to me bc I know they would read my sorrows and send me insightful advice; i think this translates well to people who are close but can't do the physical things (hug and punch cops). Maybe they can't punch a cop, but they would let me stay over their house when I need, and they would patch up my face or take me to the hospital if I got hurt. Or even just listen to me cry on the phone bc i needed a friend.

Once I went to pride with the girl i was seeing (she follows me here too lol if you see this, hi?), And when we left a cop followed us for a couple of blocks. We couldn't punch him, ofc, so we walked a little faster and stop at a supermarket until he went away, but we didn't let go of each other's hand and i think thats community more than anything else.

Thank you for the reply btw 💞💞💞 i love your thoughts

[one-abuse-survivor]

tw verbal abuse & possible neglect mention

i think my dad was verbally abusive to me and both of my parents were like, kinda neglectful towards me in some ways. and honestly, its not happening so much anymore, mostly bc i stopped talking to both of my parents for the most part and i go to therapy as well so my dad is scared to talk to me (bc he's uncomfortable that i go to therapy) and my mom talks to me but only a little (bc she thinks its her fault i 'have to' go to therapy).

but even though the neglect and verbal abuse isn't going on so much anymore, i still have to live with them (bc im severely disabled) and it just still hurts. like i don't know how to STOP the hurting. especially now that i can actually think 'yeah that was probably abusive yeah that was probably neglect' it HURTS, it fucking tears me up inside. like how could you do that, why would you do that. and technically, my mom didn't abuse me, i think she neglected me some, but i also think some of that was out of her control. but i also dont think i can forgive her for standing by while my dad was verbally abusing me-like she would be right there, mostly just ignoring it bc while she thought it was rude, she didn't think he was wrong and she didn't want to argue with him, so she would just let him tear me down. and neither of them apologized or anything, they just mostly dont talk to me anymore.

i just. it hurts. i don't know how to make it stop hurting and i hate it. i hate that i have to deal with this when its not even my FAULT, like i didn't ask for them to do this to me. they didn't apologize, they don't even really think they were wrong but im the only one going to therapy and the only one considered broken and im supposed to forgive and forget but i just hurt all the time and no one gives af. im sorry for ranting, i just so tired. i wondered if you have any advice for working on NOT hurting so much, on healing after being hurt by your parents even if they aren't apologizing or anything?

I'm Jax btw.

Hey, Jax!

I'm glad to hear you're going to therapy. This situation sounds really complicated and really unfair to you. You're right, none of this is your fault, and it sucks that you're the one who has to deal with all of this hurt now when they were the ones who hurt you. I'm glad you could express some of that hurt here, at least.

I'm not sure I have any useful advice, because I've been privileged enough to be able to unpack my trauma away from my abuser. I'm not sure I would've been able to work through my pain while still sharing a roof with her.

What I can say is that, while I think it's a good idea to look for ways to help you process your hurt so it becomes less painful, I really hope you know that you shouldn't be expected to "forgive and forget" and just be fine. You're still actively living with the people who abused and neglected you, and they continue to deny it ever happened. They haven't apologised for hurting you and they're not trying to be better. So, please, don't beat yourself up for continuing to show and feel signs of trauma. It's okay to not be able to fully heal—and it would be really unfair to expect you to, given your circumstances.

All that being said, I can list some exercises that have helped me personally process and overcome some of my hurt, in case they might be helpful:

Writing down a list of all the separate emotions I feel when I'm feeling hurt (anger, sadness, fear, hatred, disgust...) and then writing down in a paragraph what each separate emotion is saying in my head, in order to give it a voice and the space to exist. (After doing this a couple of times, my therapist suggested adding one last voice called "self-care" and writing down what such a voice would say if it was present in my head, and it helped).

Assigning each of my emotions a colour and painting abstract colour blobs, pouring out all the different emotions (and the ways they intertwine) on the paper.

Writing fictional stories that explore trauma and recovery in-depth.

Reclaiming the "abuse survivor" label and talking openly about my trauma (with people's consent, without trauma-dumping).

My new therapist is also going to guide me through an exercise on processing anger on our next session, so I might share my experience with that eventually, if I find it useful. Maybe it can help others! Especially if you already have a therapist you can suggest this exercise to.

Does anyone have any other advice for Jax?

Take care ❤️

[genderkoolaid]

I'm gonna be going on T real soon, I was wondering if yall or your followers know of any good advice? Like is there anything I should keep in mind? A lot of the resources I'm finding are directed towards cis guys which doesn't really help me lol. Love your blog btw I know it isn't really an advice blog but I don't follow a lot of transmasc focused blogs so I figured I'd just ask!

My advice:

If you're doing shots & you're nervous, try playing music and making yourself do the shot on a specific part

Bottom growth was not painful for me but it IS sensitive and there's a good chance it will annoy you at some point. Also try not to stress too much on the size, if it's something you are really concerned with you can try pumping but also not everyone grows a lot on T and that's okay!

I'd suggest making sure you have some sort of skincare routine before you start if ur worried abt acne (or when you start)

Keeping some sort of record of the changes is a good idea! Whether it's voice recordings or pictures or notes

At least for me I was constantly looking for changes when I first started & i was hyperaware of when I was gonna do my next shot, but after a while I chilled out and then suddenly multiple months had passed before I knew it

Unfortunately there is a non zero chance that people will make gross comments about the changes and it can really fucking sucks. so just keep in mind that other people's opinions shouldn't ruin your joy over being on T and masculinization isn't a bad or ugly thing.

Don't be afraid to talk w your doctor about any changes that are happening, not happening or that you want made to your prescription

However you feel is okay, and that includes complex emotions about transitioning and whatever you experience as you transition

Surround yourself in any way possible with other transmascs & positive representations of transmascs who look like you

[bebx]

do you ever get comments on the things you write (!! love it btw!!) that are vaguely negative- not entirely bad but just enough to get you anxious and worried that you’ve done something wrong?

because i’m starting a little writing blog and i understand that smut isn’t for everyone and that’s all i have out right now but i’m not sure how to handle negativity yet,, it makes me doubt what i’ve put effort into and makes me feel sick in my stomach, even though there must be people out there that like the same things i do. i feel like,, guilty? and i’m hoping that’s just silly, maybe i am in the wrong eek

you got any advice for taking that on and starting up a blog for something you love on this scary-ass app lmao? <3 sorry, i’ve written quite a bit..

Thank you, anon! Okay, somehow I'm lucky enough not to have come across comments that are outright rude so far, but there are some in the past (like months ago? it's good that it rarely happens) that I supposed could've been worded a little... nicer? I mean it didn't make me anxious or worried, more like a little annoyed, but that was it. But I'd also like to clarify that I was told by several of my friends that I seemed to not give a f*ck about what people said about me in general, if they're bad things. So some negativity that should affect most people might just not affect me?

Which I know isn't always a good thing either, because most of the times where I should defend myself, I just didn't, because I kind of... didn't care.

But I know the point of your ask isn't about me. So I'm not gonna make it about me. 

Anyway, to response to your point about negativity, I know it's so much easier said than done, but my advice — to keep it as simple as possible — would be, "screw the haters". 

But I know things can be more complicated than "This person is being a hater. Screw them" situation. In this case, my advice would be to try to determine if the comment is outright rude or if it can be a constructive criticism. And it's entirely up to you which category it falls to. The same comment can be considered rude to one person, and constructive criticism to another. There really is no wrong answer. If the commenter claims they mean it as a suggestion to help you improve a part of your writing, but the comment comes out as rude to you, then it is rude, and you have every right to ignore, delete, block or be upset about it. 

Constructive criticism does not equal harassment, but if said comment makes the receiver feel more anxious/nervous/less confident about their work than it makes them see the part they could improve, then that is not constructive criticism. Always remember that no one knows your work better than you do.

And, again, I know it's so so much easier said than done, but if a person is being a dick and leaving negative feedback on your work, just... try not to pay it attention. Delete, block, ignore. I don't want to make this sound like an easy solution, because I know how discouraging a mean feedback can be, especially if it was left on a work you put so much dedication into (not saying a work that was written under shorter period of time is worth less). Most of the time, if it's something nasty/rude (it doesn't even have to be outright rude, but if it makes you anxious, then chances are the person who left it didn't have good intention), it was left by a troll. It sucks, yes, but there're always people who left negative comments on other people's work, not because the work is bad but because they — the commenters — are trolls, and they want to just piss you off, make you question yourself.

I promise you, what you put your effort into is worth it. It may not be for everybody, but there are always going to be people who love and appreciate your work. And you are never in the wrong for writing about what you enjoy, no matter what it's about: it can be smut, angst, whump, fluff, hurt-no-comfort, comedy, hurt/comfort. Anything. As long as it's something you enjoy writing. (And it's not wrong to only write about one specific genre you enjoy.) As someone who also writes, I know how much getting feedback/validation means, but you have to always remember that what matters the most isn't your readers or what they think about your work but you. You write for something you love, and you write for you.

As long as you write whatever you're passionate about, you are never in the wrong and your works will always be worth it, and people who share the same interest as you will find and read your works, and that should be the joy of writing.

Don't let internet trolls make you question your talent. Their comments say nothing about your writing, but it say a lot about what kind of person they are. And most of the time, trolls left negative stuff on people's work without even reading the work. Remember that they just want attention, but they're not worth your time. It takes only a few seconds to hit that delete and block buttons. Focus your energy on things you enjoy.

So go for that writing blog. You'll do great.

[desertsfic]

Okay I dont know if you are still doing directors cuts (and even if you are this isnt technically a proper ask for it, because its about a specific part and not just a random one I guess?) but would you mind talkin about what's going through bro's head in temporal deadzone? When he carries dave out of the car and asks him to tell someone before he leaves the house?

well first of all anon i am delighted to tell you that the director's cut thing actually does in fact suggest asking about a particular scene, chapter, or even just line from a fic, but the star emoji is just if you want the writer to talk about anything they want, at length, so! not necessary!

also yes i am still doing them because i could talk about these things forever, happily!

Alright so basically, this poor fucking dude lol.

I mean basically, 95% of what bro and a!dave do offscreen is bicker lol, and how it started, was that David (we're calling him david here) smoked the rest of Bro's cigarettes (which he has been "BORROWING") and Bro just like, stares at him. and David was like what you want me to go RIGHT now??? and Bro just. Continues to stare at him.

(David does ask if he wants to go with btw.)

((The answer is hell to the fuck no.))

Finally David leaves, goes to get them, runs into Dave. Bro in the meantime is like, my god, finally peace and quiet, and tries to get some goddamn sleep.

Smashcut to being shaken awake, or perhaps he was awake from the moment the door opened it's hard to tell with that guy, and he's met with mr big long and stringy, all "Ur shitty kid fell asleep in my car and i can't carry him :("

and bro was like, "why the fuck was my shitty kid in your car in the first place"

and david had to admit that he basically ran into him and panicked and asked if he wanted to come with and then it was like a weird game of stubbornness and neither of them caved.

So Bro is like, annoyed, but acquiesces, because this, at least, is something he can do.

(spoilers David's a guardian and not nearly as noodly as he pretends he is, and could have carried him just fucking fine lol. He just. Didn't want to touch him. After what happened in the car. and also a lot of other complicated emotions about a person who both is and isn't you. you know how it is.)

But anyway we're here to talk about Bro, and Bro has a lot of practice carrying Dave from the car back into a house (or perhaps an apartment.) I think moments like these, times where maybe it was perceived as "easier" to carry him asleep, rather than waking him and having to deal with a grumpy kid, are some of the last remaining bits of "good" that exist between the two of them.

I've said this before but a lot of the Good Things Bro does for Dave end up being reflections of things he did when Dave was still too little to train, back when keeping a kid alive felt much harder, and he needed more attention.

As for the leaving the house thing. Well that's like, Guardian 101 lol. Your kid shouldn't be wandering off with strangers, and idk if Bro really trusts David yet (or if he ever really will, but you know, they're trying). He is also Trying to be better, and seeing how freaked out David was, he can tell something went Wrong. Unfortunately for all of us, Bro's best parenting advice came from Hallmark movies. But he is also mildly serious, because wakin' up in the middle of the night and finding out, once again, that your shitty kid wandered off and didn't even TRUST anyone enough to tell them?? man. That's some eye-opening shit, probably.

Also u did not ask, but the chapter is a java script joke, and also referencing an imogen heap song lol

Thank you for asking!! i hope i made sense here i am very sleepy

[michaelmilligan]

The post going around about accomodating anger issues is so fucking true. Like. Even in therapy context, the accomodation isn't always there! From my own experience in a place that was supposed to help people with mental health issues (and did at least an okay job with most):

1) There was this guy who came in after I'd been there for a few weeks. He had anger management issues. And he was thrown out after about a week because he showed - you guessed it - anger!

Okay, so what happened was that he apparently threw a bottle or something. But the thing is. He didn't throw it at anybody, he threw it at a door while being alone in a room. The problem? His roommate came in just when he threw it. (His roomie was fine, if shaken.)

Now I can understand that the roomie didn't want to sleep in the same room as the guy anymore. But they didn't even (as far as I know) try to accomodate the guy with the anger issues. The sensible thing imo would have been to give him a single room. There he could have safely let out his anger without someone randomly walking in (the staff should at least knock before going in, so he'd be warned). But this didn't happen. I guess that guy's insurance didn't cover a single room. 🙃 Even though there was at least one empty one at the time. 🙃

Mind you, the dude was already against therapy in general, complaining how after a week nothing had changed yet (which is an unreasonable expectation to have, yes, but he had it). Do you think he will ever try again? These people didn't even try to help him when he showed freaking SYMPTOMS of what he was THERE FOR.

I don't think he's going to seek help again.

2) Towards the end of my own stay, some bs happened that I won't go into rn. And I became angry. At the therapists, mostly, though it also generally became difficult to shed the anger. I tried going for walks and to the gym, but nothing helped.

The therapists seemed upset that I was so angry at them. (At least some of them.) But I just couldn't stop being so fucking angry, it definitely impacted the rest of my time there. I couldn't really get anything from the sessions anymore.

And the best thing? When I managed to control my anger long enough to actually, through gritted teeth, ask for help with it, they told me that I needed to handle it on my own.

Great, thanks! Because that worked so well! I mean I understand that there is no one way cure all for anger but like. A suggestion would have been nice. Any nudge would have been appreciated. But no, nothing. I still get angry thinking about them.

And it's not like it's gone away. Once those feelings were unlocked, it seems like they never really left. Sometimes I get so fucking angry I feel sick. For hours. With covid and all, at least that's happened mostly when I was at home. But now that everything is opened up again... Well. Let's see how long it takes before I explode into someone's face.

And let's be clear, I do not want to go back. Before, I was severely depressed, partly because I was repressing my own emotions so hard I barely noticed I had any. If you asked me how I was back then my only honest reply could have been 'tired' or 'thirsty' or 'hungry' because I just didn't realize/let myself feel anything else. I still have trouble identifying feelings a lot of the time. They mostly manifest as physical sensations for me.

But, damn. Living with this kind of rage not just inside you but with the possibility that it will break out any moment is. Not great. And I wish I'd been given some tools to deal with that. But apparently that's for me to figure out alone. 🙃

This is not me seeing advice, btw, just want to rant.

[thisdreamplace]

I'm so close to giving up on practicing the law (consciously) overall. It's like yet another habit (of conscious manifesting, living like a king in a kingdom/reality etc) that I've failed to incorporate

However, like a chronic sufferer who actually wants a way out ie who seeks a chance of living differently and not permanently not living I really don't want to give up. But I'm so disheartened of this

Ik yk what it's like, and I'm aware of how u pushed thru despite everything, and yk very well what it's like when u too were on this side

I feel like I'm caught in the claws of a beast that grows larger and larger. Btw this isn't a msg abt 'im the only one for whom manifesting doesn't work'. (Coz I have, by consciously focusing etc, seen evidence of the law and all), so this ain't even about believing in something unseen

Maybe it's an info overload thing. Idk. Ik enough by now, to realise the core of it is to live like it's already happened, deliberate before reacting so u don't perpetuate the old patterns/story/consequences yadda yadda

So what should I do? How do I refocus? How do I stop thinking Idk enough (even tho even now im aware of how the 3d is an illusion etc and I think I've caught up on all the real free deal on manifesting, law of assumption on the 'net). I think I'm tired of reading up on it and implementing it. Ik it's effortless (and sometimes it really is!) Still, I want utter power over my reality (not micro managing like, but there are still major aspects of my life that I wanna change). What do u suggest? ig my question (or monologue, amirite? 😉) relates to how I feel I'm all over the place related to this. I mean, you can't measure a company's performance w/o numbers yeah? And I'm an analyst (tho the messy-desk sort who teeters b/w must-get-the-finest-details to aye-imma-wing-it: and I can't force myself to be either at will 😒) who's gotten a mind blank

So yeah, please, by all means, knock me on the head, give me a wake up call, throw a book or two at me. I've been enrolled in the manifesting course (figure of speech) for so long, yet I'm not focused enough to garner true results (not blaming the 3d, but I mean it's kinda obvi when u ARE working but there aren't much results, how's that different from day dreaming or wishful thinking yeah?)

In conclusion, also, any idea how I can improve? What could I do (or not do) (other than self concept. I oft subject myself to the I Am Love peeps and they're pretty cool and the stuff they say is 💯) How do I pull myself together?

Thanks for reading this far! Thank you overall! 😎

I know you asked about what you can do other than self concept and I'm sorry but my advice is going to be #1: self concept. haha If it wasn't for me deciding to give myself my all, I don't think I'd still be here.

Here's the craziest thing about the law: we come to the law because we desire for something, then find out it was never about our desire. It was always about us. You see, the more you keep your desires at the forefront of your life, without putting yourself first in line, the more complicated you make your journey. The truth is, nothing needs to change except you. So you don't want to hear my self concept advice, you want there to be anything else except self concept, but the truth is your conception of self is your everything. It is the foundation upon which your world is happening automatically. Change your conceptions of self and you change your world. Period.

I mean, even now this is important for you because of everything you are saying. If you truly want to use the law to your advantage and finally live the life you know you deserve, stop running away from yourself. Stop wanting your desires to fix your issues. Stop looking for a technique to make the magic happen. Only you can make this work. That's the thing about it. You've said you read enough, no? So at this point you should have some sort of idea of what you're into, what kind of things make sense to you. Actually start to apply it now. Like seriously. Dedicate the rest of the year to applying the law in the way that makes sense to you. Make sure your #1 goal is yourself. The only progress/change you need be worried about is a change within yourself.

If you want utter power you give it to yourself. And I'll be upfront. For some it's an easy and powerful experience. For me, it's been difficult, painful, and uncomfortable. But that's because I was so engulfed in my victim mentality for so many years. I wanted someone to come by so badly and save me and even after the law, I had a hard time giving that up. The more attached we are to the old story, the more difficult our journey will be. And that's okay. We have to be gentle with ourselves in those tough moments. It's not a race and you're doing everything perfectly. When I finally decided to take responsibility for myself was the moment my life changed for the better. More and more the law clicks and I feel more confident in who I am as God of my reality. But you have to be willing to leave that victim mentality behind you. How can you take on full power of your reality, while living like a victim? You automatically give your power away like that. So, drop it. No matter how scary and uncomfortable it is. You must.

There's a certain amount of mental discipline that must be practiced when it comes to the law. So for that, I recommend meditation. Any way you want to do it. No you don't need to be focused on the law all the time but you need to be aware who's in control of your reality. It's you. You don't get anytime off from being God, it's a full time job. That's why self concept is so important, because it's what is manifesting naturally 24/7. So the least you can do is make sure your foundation is one in which you actually want to be operating from.

Hopefully this helps to pick you up and give you some idea of where to go next on your journey! You absolutely got this! And don't forget to take care of yourself and look out for yourself as you continue on your manifestation journey. 💖

[nine-mp3]

Your Neighbor Sungho | Ch. 1

Photo Credits:

- left hand corner, @116page

- center, @newat_rie

Rie (sungho) x (female) reader, fluff, slice of life, semi-angsty (?)

appearances of other OnlyOneOf and Dreamcatcher members will occur

hey so I rolled a wheel on who to write a fanfic first and got rie plus picked out a prompt to write from

warnings: alcohol, getting drunk; in this fic is PG-13, some light cursing occasionally, super tiny mention of smut in description beginning and that’s all;

btw i’m pretty sarcastic, there’s sarcasm thrown here and there, hope you enjoy :D

This is my first time sharing my writing on a public platform. As a writer, I always appreciate constructive criticism. Feel free to leave feedback in the comments if you have anything to say. Thank you in advance for reading as well

Also, please DO NOT repost my work anywhere without my permission or plagiarize.

Description: your neighbor, sungho, from the day you've moved in has kept you up countless nights with their significant other. dancing, muffled long conversations, and amongst other noises you wished you could wipe from memory. one day it suddenly stops. those days become months.

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Your neighbor, Sungho, from the day you've moved in has kept you up countless nights with their significant other. Dancing, muffled long conversations, and amongst other noises you wished you could wipe from memory. One day it suddenly stops. These days become months. Now, you couldn't help but to be concerned.

Sungho isn't a bad neighbor. You recall complaining to him at some point, amidst trying to focus on a report you had to write up for work, and he apologized for the noise. Many times. He seemed embarrassed, never realizing how thin the walls were in the apartment building, and promised to keep the noise levels down. These promises would last only about a week. Their significant other was quite the complete opposite of Sungho, a loud individual. From what you were aware, the two didn't live together. His significant other would come over daily to stay or visit.

As much as they were loud, they didn't seem to like you either. Looks of disdain thrown whenever you happen to cross them in the hallway, being in the same elevator cart, or when Sungho was trying to be a good neighbor by greeting you. They would pull him away immediately, putting his attention back on them. Sometimes you thought that they were being loud on purpose, knowing that you were next door, and very well aware of the complaints. The reason why? You had no idea. The best guess you could come up with was that they saw you as a threat to their relationship. Which was ridiculous. You hardly knew the male nor could the both of you call each other friends.

Sometimes Sungho left fruits or drinks at your door with little notes of apologies for their rowdiness. And for their significant other's behavior. For the most part, you bared through it or simply did all your work within the hours at your office now and prayed that tiredness would consume you once you hit your bed, blocking out any disturbances.

So, life goes on.

One weekend, you just happened to get home from going out with your friends. It was late, past midnight. You heard arguing through the walls between Sungho and their significant other.

"You're always like this, Sungho!"

Immediately, you felt very uncomfortable entering your apartment. It wasn't something you wanted to hear or should be hearing. Not that you could help it either since you lived next door. You backed yourself outside, considering going to the balcony on the floor for a bit. Stepping back outside of your door, their argument becomes muffled.

Why couldn't the landlord just keep the damn wall consistency the same?

Suddenly, Sungho's door flies open followed by their significant other storming out. You jump up out of surprise, the noise scaring you. They're heading down the hallway, to the elevators, without looking back. Sungho appears at his door not too long after, holding it open.

"Wait-" he calls out to them, his voice faltering.

The male notices you then, staring with wide eyes at him. At that moment, you were able to get a full picture of his current position. The hurt in his eyes.

"Oh...y/n. Are you here to complain about the noise again? I'm really sorry-"

"Uh, no! No, not at all. See, I just was returning home now. Don't worry about it," you said, awkwardly blinking a few times, reaching to grab for your keys from your bag once again.

"Um, I'm heading inside now! Okay, bye!"

You immediately opened your door again, rushing, running into your living room. The door shuts behind automatically and you let out a sigh of relief. You felt bad for suddenly running away, but you weren't about to ask or give relationship advice if Sungho wasn't asking for it. Besides, what if it was only a lover's quarrel?

They'll probably make up soon. Talk about a rough night…

Then the realization set in. The apartment would be definitely quiet for at least another day. A smile rises to your face.

What a horrible thing to be happy over...after seeing your neighbor fight with their significant other. Then again, they weren't all that nice to me.

You shrugged, waving the events aside, calling it a night, enjoying the peaceful silence...only with the slight remaining, lingering tension in the air. After you showered, brushed your teeth, and changed into pajamas, you immediately laid down on your bed. Pulling the covers over, you found yourself thinking. Staring up to the ceiling of your room in the dark.

That argument sounded bad though...ugh. None of your business, y/n. Go to sleep. They'll probably be fine tomorrow…

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Define the term "fine".

The next day, as you predicted, was quiet. That you could hear a pin drop from down the hallway. You enjoyed it, a Sunday afternoon peace. It allowed you to catch up on work, eat, watch T.V, write poetry...overall without any disturbances. Sungho, your neighbor, was long forgotten from your mind.

The thing is, it goes on for the next week. You weren't worried about it at all because you were swamped with work. The next reports and presentations came with close deadlines. The silence was appreciated, allowing you to focus; you got lost in piles of work and many cups of coffee.

Worry about your neighbor only returned on the brief encounters when the both of you were heading to work in the mornings. Sungho still greeted you, but only with a brief nod and face expressionless. They would walk ahead first, not bothering to see even if you returned the greeting or not. Sometimes you heard him leaving earlier than you and now you couldn't help but to wonder what his occupation was.

The week turns into two and three. He stops greeting you at some point, or maybe he wasn't very aware of his surroundings; his whole aura was different. Sungho usually would at least do his hair before going out and dress somewhat decently. Now it was always a mess, his bangs left down to cover his eyes, matching with black attire. You saw him up close in his current condition when you were returning to the apartment building one afternoon. The male had collided into you, by accident. Turning around immediately on the impact, once you had regained your balance, you're faced with eyes that were written with sleepless nights, dark circles prominent. At least, this time, he mumbles an apology before moving on.

By the time it reaches the end of the month, your workload becomes lighter for the year, you find more time thinking about the current situation of your neighbor. You called up one of your best friends at your workplace one night. It wasn't the first time you discussed your neighbor with them.

"Yoojung, it's the end of the month. I haven't seen his significant other in awhile. As much as I enjoy the silence, I hate seeing Sungho this dead," you said, a hand gripping onto the balcony railing out of nervousness.

“Note check. You don’t even know the guy. Why exactly are you so worried?” Yoojung on the other end replies.

Your friend had a point. Why were you worried?

“Well…I don’t have an answer, actually. I don’t know why I’m worried. Can’t I just be a good neighbor?” you replied.

“It’s none of your business, y/n. Looking at reality. But if you’re so worried, go knock on his door and talk to him. Even if it’s just a hello. Didn’t he leave you fruits before? You can do that in return if you’re so curious,” Yoojung suggested, not sounding all that interested.

“Anyways, you’re coming to the group outing for dinner next week right? On Saturday? Please tell me you didn’t forget or you plan on cancelling. We hardly ever get a chance for everyone to come together again.”

“Alright, thanks so much for the advice...I guess...and keep your pants on, Yoojung. Of course I’m coming. Good night,” you scowled at him.

You hung up the phone then, not giving a chance for the other to say his goodbye. As much as he was your best friend, he could be a pain in the ass. Turning around, you exited out the balcony to return back to your apartment for the day.

So much for calling it a night.

Once you make it back, you’re greeted with Sungho at your door, hunched over, using an arm to keep his weight up against the wall. First thought that came to mind: he’s unwell and he came to ask you for help? You immediately approach the male, only to be hit by a smell of alcohol and you jolt back. The second thought you had, only confirmed: he’s drunk.

“Sungho?! Are you okay?” you asked nervously, tapping his shoulder lightly.

The male looks up to you, quite confused.

“y/n? Oh. Yeah...I’m fine. Just trying to get into my apartment...but the key.... doesn’t seem to fit…” Sungho said, words spoken slowly as he tries to stand upright.

“Did...the landlord change the locks?”

“No, no. The landlord didn’t. You’re at the wrong apartment, this one is mine. Uh, do you need help?” you said, raising an eyebrow at him.

“Ah...well, that makes...sense now,” Sungho said, a drunk written smile appearing on his face.

“No, it’s okay...I’m always disturbing you... I’m really sorry...Have...a good night, y/n.”

It’s the first time you’ve seen him smile in such a long time. Of course, it only happens to be when he’s not sober. Also, you’re very aware that drunk people do need help but always deny it. You watch as he turns around, folding your arms and counting down in your head.

3... 2...1

The male collapses on the ground, completely knocked out from the alcohol in his system. You blew up at your hair, huffing then, staring down at his figure on the ground.

This night just got a whole lot longer.

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