#this isn't even a selfie but who cares

[pigeon-butch]

I certainly have my own concerns about the treatment of moo deng but um. well i think some of you may just be racist

[evilvillain123456789]

yeah, man, it sucks that that girl who bullied you in presbyterian horse camp is now a, quote, basic bitch she/they bihet who, quote, thinks she's so queer for having blunt bangs and pronouns in bio. the worst part has gotta be the fact that you went to the trouble of being vocally unimpressed with her when she probably doesn't even remember that you exist. i'll bet she's, what, picking out a chapel rowan song to go with her brunch selfie? going thrifting to look for bold patterns and warm neutrals? even if you could somehow vocalize your contempt to her she probably wouldn't care, i mean, she obviously isn't doing it for you. heh. now why are you making that face at me? smile, champ. you forgot to take your vraylar today didn't you?

[copperbadge]

AI Scraping Isn't Just Art And Fanfic

Something I haven't really seen mentioned and I think people may want to bear in mind is that while artists are the most heavily impacted by AI visual medium scraping, it's not like the machine knows or cares to differentiate between original art and a photograph of your child.

AI visual media scrapers take everything, and that includes screengrabs, photographs, and memes. Selfies, pictures of your pets and children, pictures of your home, screengrabs of images posted to other sites -- all of the comic book imagery I've posted that I screengrabbed from digital comics, images of tweets (including the icons of peoples' faces in those tweets) and instas and screengrabs from tiktoks. I've posted x-ray images of my teeth. All of that will go into the machine.

That's why, at least I think, Midjourney wants Tumblr -- after Instagram we are potentially the most image-heavy social media site, and like Instagram we tag our content, which is metadata that the scraper can use.

So even if you aren't an artist, unless you want to Glaze every image of any kind that you post, you probably want to opt out of being scraped. I'm gonna go ahead and say we've probably already been scraped anyway, so I don't think there's a ton of point in taking down your tumblr or locking down specific images, but I mean...especially if it's stuff like pictures of children or say, a fundraising photo that involves your medical data, it maybe can't hurt.

If you do want to officially opt out, which may help if there's a class-action lawsuit later, you're going to want to go to the gear in the upper-right corner on the Tumblr desktop site, select each of your blogs from the list on the right-hand side, and scroll down to "Visibility". Select "Prevent third party sharing for [username]" to flip that bad boy on.

Per notes: for the app, go to your blog (the part of the app that shows what you post) and hit the gear in the upper right, then select "visibility" and it will be the last option. If you have not updated your app, it will not appear (confirmed by me, who cannot see it on my elderly version of the app).

You don't need to do it on both desktop and mobile -- either one will opt you out -- but on the app you may need to load each of your sideblogs in turn and then go back into the gear and opt out for that blog, like how you have to go into the settings for each sideblog on desktop and do it.

[hyuny-bunny]

skz + s/o with long nails

can't sleep and i need to get this thought out before it makes my head explode

MDNI (18+) suggestive ideas, mutual masterbation, oral, nail markings

skz x gn!reader

chan: at first he's indifferent. it makes no difference to him, you might've kept short or no nails to start with while dating him. it isn't till you try out a new spot that leaves you with the best set you've ever had, that he starts to take more notice. especially when his back scratches take a whole new level. he's twitching his leg like a dog when you go too light on him finding it ticklish, he's begging you to scratch him harder. his mind starts to run wild at the thought how it would feel to have your nails clawing at his back during sex as he pounds into you.

minho: he loves your nails. he finds them so cute on you, especially when their pointed like a cat claw. he's not one to comment his thoughts on what you should do but he loves the way your hands look with baby pinks or milk white shades. his cats seem to enjoy them as much as you do when they surround you begging to be scratched next. he really finds out how much he loves them when you're going down on him as his thank you for paying for the new set, when you're clawing down on his thighs. he can't help admire how pretty they look while you sit perched between his thighs as stroke him into your mouth.

changbin: he loves everything about you but the nails he just doesn't quite get. how are you supposed to lift weights when you can't even close your hand into a fist :( ? nevertheless he pampers his partner!! so of course he's putting his card down for you to pay for your new set or sending you the money to pay for them (then some more incase it's a long session and you need to grab food). he's a changed man when he sees the new set. your nail tech found a cute way to put his intials on the ring fingers of your nails. he's posting and sending everyone a photo of your nail set with your hands wrapped around his bicep. he knows that all you need is a ring to complete it.

hyunjin: love love love LOVES your nails. everytime there's an appointment coming up soon, he's already asking what you're getting. he'll send you some ideas, a lot of it might be douyin style but he loves anything you decide on. aside from loving the way they look, he also loves the way they feel. his insta photos might be filled with your hands in shot with coffee or selfies he's taken while's you held his face or gave his cheeks a squish. either way he knows that you know when he plops down into your lap or chest, he's demanding head and back scratches. he's purring like a cat in your lap with every movement but will immediately whine if you stop too soon.

jisung: don't care as long you're dedicating an hour or two to play with his hair after a fresh set. colors make no difference to him but he gets weak in the knees when you come home with red nails. his mind taking him to filth places of having your hand stroking him, how pretty your hands look in with his cum painting your nails. he's always offering to pay for your nails, on the condition that you always do red which you're typically happy to oblige anyways.

felix: there has to be something based in fact for me to confidently say he also more than happy to have you scratch his head, back, anywhere that you possibly feel he might enjoy because he is actually a cat. a very cuddly one that's purring with every scratch across his skin. he loves the set ideas you come up with but especially loves when you incorporate hints of blue in your nails because you know it's his signature color. makes him feel like it's proof that you belong to him in a way that only he needs to know. his only thing to pick at is you can't be as handsy with baking with him when you have longer nails :/ buts that's okay when you make it up by playing with his hair, putting it in pretty braids and giving him neck & chin scratches.

seungmin: also someone who seems in different. he might get annoyed every time you accidentally poke him too hard from a new set. he'd tease you for the way your nails sound while you type but it's all in good fun. another one who's twitching his leg like a puppy every time you scratch his back or head. oh how he could lay like that forever. another one to soft launch you on his insta with shot of your hand on his knee at a baseball game or intertwined while having a romantic dinner. he once again doesn't mind and even learns to appreciate the way your nails rake through his hair. how they feel when your trying pry him out from between your thighs tugging on his hair for dear life.

jeongin: he loves your long nails, he loves it even more when you take him with you to get your nails done together. he's not passing on opportunity to get matching manicures. he loves to see you venture off with colors. when you opt to get a forrest green french tip set, he's right there asking for his pinky nails to be painted in the same green polish. he's posting a picture of your intertwined hands with your matching polish. he's down bad for you and everyone knows it. you can't blame him when you're the same for him. it's all he thinks about when you're both laid next to each other in bed with his hand in your underwear and your hand wrapped around him stroking him so prettily, toying with one another and matching polish adorning your hands.

[agentmarvel]

Can we have headcanons of fem!reader wife x 141 guys and how they each handle her leaving for girl’s night out in a really skimpy dress?

I think they’d all have hilarious reactions.😂

Omg yesssss

NSFW under the cut

MDNI - 18+

♡ Price:

Oh lord, that man is NOT letting you out of the house.

"Where ya think you're going in that?"

gets a little pissy when you remind him you have one girls night a month, and you have every right to wear whatever you want

"Doesn't mean you have the right to show anyone else what's mine, love."

will physically block the door with his whole body, knowing you won't be able to move him unless he allows it

he isn't mad - no, quite the opposite! it's taking every ounce of his self-restraint not to rip that damn thing in half and have his way with you right there on the foyer floor

"John, move. I don't want to be late!" - "Shame... You should've thought about that before you put on something you know damn well I can't resist."

he thinks it's cute when you argue with him, but you both know this ends up with your front pressed up against the door, panties pulled to the side, and his cock buried to the hilt inside you

after he cums, he pulls your panties back into place and gives you a harsh swat on the ass, not caring that your make up is a little smudged or that your legs are jello while he's giving you that smug look he wears so well

"Enjoy your night out, Mrs. Price. Hurry home."

♡ Gaz:

he's on you before you even walk out of the bathroom after you finish your hair

wraps his arms around your waist, puts his chin on your shoulder, tells you how pretty you look

"This dress new? Haven't seen it on the floor before."

ohhhhh, he is so down bad for you, even after as long as you've been together

makes it a point to grab a quick selfie bc he knows it's a solid confidence booster, and he wants you to feel as beautiful as you look

it doesn't really cross his mind that anyone would try anything on you - you're perfectly capable of taking care of yourself, and he knows who you'll come home to; he knows who's bed you'll be in tonight, who's name you'll be calling in the dark

he even helps you pick the right shoes, even though you know he picks his favorite pair in hopes of seeing you in just those when you get home

ever the gentleman, he walks you out to your car, reminds you to drive safe, call him if you have too much to drink, etc.

he does, however, make it a point to send you some downright raunchy texts and a photo of his more... physical reaction, just in case you needed some motivation to come home a little early

when you get home (early), he's still riled up; he's too impatient to wait for you to make it upstairs, much less to unzip your dress for you, so you end up riding him on the landing until he's too tongue-tied to keep telling you how hot you look

♡ Soap:

you're not making it out of the house. Period.

the SECOND Johnny lays eyes on you, it's over

he's grabby as hell, digging his fingers into any part of you that he can - squeezing your ass, your hips, your thighs, tits, tummy, anything - while he navigates you to the nearest surface

"Yer so fuckin' pretty, baby. Never seen something so fuckin' perfect in my god damn life."

it doesn't matter if you end up on the couch, the kitchen counter, in the back yard; he's eating your pussy like a death row prisoner's last meal until you're crying, trying to wrench his head away with the hair tangled in your fist

he has your dress bunched up around your waist, straps pulled down so he can play with your nipples, but uses the whole garment as leverage while he fucks you stupid

you should've known better than to put a t-bone in front of a starving dog and expect it not to bite

"Go ahead, bonnie; text your little friends, tell them you're not gonna make it, yeah?"

♡ Ghost:

"'course, love. Have fun, be careful, call me if you need a ride."

Simon isn't too worried initially; he knows there isn't going to be a single soul in that bar willing or able to face his wrath should anything untoward happen. but then he actually sees what you're wearing, and all bets are off

that's why he follows you, he tells himself, it has nothing to do with the insatiable urge to destroy your ability to walk tomorrow

nothing trumps your safety, in terms of his priorities. he's simply here to look out for his wife, right?

wrong. he spends the next hour and a half watching you from a darkened corner of the bar while his palms itch with a need to touch

opportunity knocks when you excuse yourself from the table, and he follows you into the restroom, slipping in before you have a chance to lock the door

you're not surprised to see him (duh, you know him better than just about anyone), but you are surprised to find yourself bent over the sink, looking Simon in the eye through his reflection. he's fucking you mercilessly, spewing absolute filth while he pulls your head back by your hair

"My perfect little whore, hmm? Waltzing around in that tiny dress, wearing my fuckin' ring, rubbin' it in everyone's faces that you only open those pretty legs for me."

he wants to cum on your face, but you pout about the possibility of it getting in your eye, or worse, on your dress, so he settles for letting you swallow it instead

his impulses return not much longer after you return to your table; instead, he texts you that he's ready to head out, and you are all too quick to oblige

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Musician Age Gap AU Pt 8

"I cannot believe you told my wife your date was with *Lena Luthor*," Alex whispers mid-yell, "before you told me!"

"Would it have changed your recommendation?"

At that, Kara hears Alex pause to consider.

"No," comes the final response. Then, "Did it work?"

Kara flushes-- she'd certainly gotten the reaction she'd been looking for. She just isn't sure she wants her sister to know that they hadn't fully resolved that desire.

"Well enough," Kara returns, settling on an incomplete truth. She'd explain the rest later... eventually.

A muttered curse issues over the line. "Jesus. How did this even happen? Wait-- what happens now? Esme said her next show is in, like... 16 hours, in Denver."

Kara smiles into the phone. "We stay in touch."

She's already received a picture via text, showing Lena with a tongue-out wink and a playful peace sign. Another photo had revealed a sticky bun, with a note that Lena had gotten Jess to swing by Noonan's on the way to the airport.

Though the sight of the sticky bun had made her hungry, the selfie made her pause to absorb the image. From the relaxed tousle of Lena's wavy hair, to the ray-bans hooked on the collar of her shirt, and the luxury of the private plane lurking around the edges.... she wonders if Lena realizes just how far she's letting Kara in, allowing her to see Lena in so personal a setting.

Kara's response had been simple. "Fly safe."

It had earned her a floating heart emoji and a promise to touch base upon landing.

"That's it?" Alex asks, pulling Kara back to the present.

Kara huffs a laugh. "What did you expect? She wasn't going to cancel half a national tour for personal time with someone she only met two days ago."

"Well why not? You're worth it."

"You're only saying that because you're my sister," Kara counters. "Besides, I don't want that for her."

Seeing Lena on stage had proven it's something the woman enjoyed. She thrived on the experience of it, and so did the thousands of fans who came to see her.

Which is why, a few hours after Lena's first Denver show would have concluded, Kara is surprised to receive a call from Lena. They'd facetimed when she'd landed, so the lack of video is her first clue that something isn't right.

"Hey," Kara greets, pressing the phone to her ear as she wipes sleep from her eyes. She'd meant to stay awake to check in herself, but not even a book had been able to keep her from dozing off.

"Hey."

Lena's voice is somber. It's such a difference that a wave of concern wakes Kara the rest of the way.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

There's a short pause before Lena responds. "Nothing."

"How was the show?"

"Fine. I'm sorry, I shouldn't be calling so late. I just... I wanted to hear your voice." Lena pauses again. "Is that weird?"

"No." Kara listens closely to the quiet that follows, as though it might give her some insight into what was happening on the other end of the line. "Lena..."

"Could you... talk to me?"

"About what?"

"Anything. Just... so I can listen."

Kara's brow furrows. She fights the impulse to dig deeper, to push to find the why. She doesn't need to know. Lena has asked for what she needs-- and it's something Kara is able and willing to give.

"Did I ever tell you that I didn't always live in National City?"

Lena hums a negative, prompting Kara to continue.

"I'm actually from a town up the coast. Midvale. I miss it sometimes. The stars mostly. In high school, I had friend named Kenny, and we would take his telescope to the old barn, and we would chart the skies together..."

Kara goes on, relating many and more of the troubles she and Kenny had gotten up to in those days. She was careful to steer clear of his murder, and the bullying they'd both experienced. Lena needed distraction, not more heartache.

As she speaks, Lena hums occasionally, sometimes even giving a chuckle. When the sounds of her following along peters out, Kara pauses to listen if Lena notices the stop. When no reaction comes, Kara smiles to herself.

"Lena?" she asks softly. "Still there?"

No answer comes, but when Kara increases the volume on her phone, she can hear the steady inhale and exhale of sleep. Kara listens for a few heartbeats more.

"Sweet dreams, Lena."

[rubra-wav]

The Main Hazbin cast x taking care of sick reader

A/N : I'm going off of flu-like symptoms type sickness for this one

Cw: Sfw, gn reader, Niffty being strange asf - injection mentions

[ Part 2 ] >>

Charlie

- no. 1 caretaker of those who are sick istg (in theory at least)

- She pulls out every single thing; medicine, soup, heating bottles, electrolyte drinks, extra blankets, entertainment stuff, etc. Etc.

- She will straight up fixate upon you getting better so you can come back to group exercises without the others worrying about your contagiousness.

- The only issue with her is that she won't leave you alone like at all.

- Vaggie needs to come drag her out so she'll stop talking about all the 'work' you've missed while you've been away recovering and all the theory behind it while you're trying to rest.

- Charlie 100% gets sick as well.

- Probably will try to keep hugging you and stuff like that, disregarding your grossness because she doesn't want you to feel 'lonely'.

Vaggie

- Understandably a bit avoidant of you, but not straight up averse.

- She needs to stay in top shape to guard the hotel.

- She would wear a mask around you and come see you still in short intervals, though, bringing you some stuff you need occasionally.

- insists you stay in your room so the hotel doesn't have a sweep of whatever the hell you have. Even with you wearing a mask or something yourself, she's iffy.

- Apologises each time she has to pull Charlie out of your room so you can sleep in peace.

- Also apologises when Alastor and Niffty show up to be menaces.

- Wants you to get better probably just as much as Charlie does.

- But mostly so she'll stop having to personally come drag away her overly good-natured girlfriend and the other two.

- Probably ends up getting sick eventually because Charlie ends up getting sick.

Angel Dust

- Avoids you like the plague.

- If he has to give you stuff, he will just leave it outside, knock, then bolt.

- Would probably talk with you over phone calls a fair bit while you're bedridden.

- The absolute last thing Angel needs is to get sick in his mind. It's not sexy at all, and with the hours he works?

- Fucking hell no.

- And he doesn't want to find out if there's a kink about that.

- Sorry, not sorry, but he's staying away.

- Would probably dress in a sexy nurse outfit while he delivers stuff to your door as a joke.

- If you don't answer the door, he'll assume you are asleep and will send a selfie with whatever he's left at your door and send it to you with some kind of 'get well soon' esque message so you know it's there.

- Wants you to get better but isn't gonna actively take any kinds of risks.

Husk

- Would also not want to be around you.

- Another person with a 'I can't get sick with my job' mindset.

- Would probably just purely communicate over messages, wouldn't actually come up to your door.

- May make you special (nonalcoholic ofc) drinks to help you recover and get someone else to send them up to you - makes the excuse that he needs to be at his 'post' at all times so he can't himself.

- I hc him as secretly being really good at cooking and liking to, so makes you lots of soups and things like that.

- Annoyed because he then has to deal with other people complaining about why he isn't making food for them as well.

- He's confident you're going to get better so doesn't really care all that much.

Pentious

- He's genuinely worried.

- Both for himself, but also for you as well.

- He comes from a time where people got what you got and died very quickly with no treatment available, so he's scared shitless about it even if everyone's insisting it's not going to kill you.

- Doesn't go see you in person because he's freaked out about it, but sends his eggs to come talk to you, ask you how you are and deliver messages from him to you every day.

- Will lie and say he doesn't care at all, then probably go cry in private about it.

- When it's clear you're no longer sick, he's going to be so relieved.

- Will probably genuinely show physical affection without thinking about it.

- Glomps you via wrapping himself around you, and then acts like it never happened.

Alastor

- He's such an awful cunt the whole time.

- Always shows up to go see you but its only to laugh at you like you're the funniest thing ever.

- Will bring you stuff, but it's very obviously not goof faith.

- He cannot get sick off of normal things, so he's all up in your business the whole time he decides it's 'go bother (name)!' Time.

- If you're delirious with temperature he'll probably openly talk to you about certain secret things because if you remember and bring them up he can just gaslight you about it.

- "Oh (name), you must be misremembering because you were so unwell!"

- He is the absolute worst about you being sick.

- Vaggie is your saviour in this situation, shooing him out of your room when she realises that he's once again back.

Niffty

- Okay, Alastor is objectively the worst, but Niffty is also fucking terrible.

- She's seemingly good faith with her bs at least, though.

- Acts like the insanest, most unhinged nurse taking care of a child with you.

- Will be there trying to cram food and drink down your throat aggressively, spoon feeding you things while gripping your mouth open way too hard.

- Dresses up like a nurse as well, courtesy of Alastor of course.

- Will show up with God knows what in syringes and try to inject them into you.

- Probably will try get a blood sample from you as well for some terrifying reason.

- You probably end up tripping balls at some point because she's injected you with some unidentifiable substance.

- Also needs to be escorted out by Vaggie so you aren't straight up killed by her attempts to... help(?) You get better. The motivation is unclear.

-

I may also make one about reader taking care of them when they're sick too atsp 🤔

[authorhjk1]

If you don’t mind, can you tell me how does each member of SNSD suck dick? Also give a very brief description of how they each of them do it. OT9 of course, please and thank you

I like this one. Feel free to send more ideas like this. (Poll at the end, so please make sure you check out the end)

Taeyeon

Taeyeon is very proud of how good her skin looks despite her age. She loves to kneel in front of you, while you are standing. She would always start by lying your cock in the middle of her face, marveling at how big it looks from below. She loves to worship it too. Giving you small, gentle kisses, while letting you enjoy the smoothness of her skin. She would almost never use her hands, taking pride in only needing her gorgeous face and her mouth to make you cum. And when you do, she loves to get her face painted. She is convinced that your cum is part of the reason, why her skin looks so good.

She is more gentle and loving all around.

Jessica

I have to say, that I'm not that familiar with Jessica. But I do think, that she is more like a princess, so her blowjobs would be similar to Taeyeon's and Yuri's. Mostly soft and caring. I think she would like it, when you tell her how well she is sucking you off. A little praise here and there, and Jessica doubles her efforts.

She also loves it, when you cum on her face. In fact, she always takes a selfie of herself after every facial. You can't even count how many pictures she has on her computer. Every single one of them are her, her face painted with your cum.

Sunny

I honestly think that Sunny isn't a big fan of blowjobs. If you ask her, she would give you one. But, usually she would only see it as quick foreplay, not a standalone act. And I doubt she would like to receive facials. Not sure about swallowing though.

But, all that being said, if she really loves you and you ask for it, I'm sure that Sunny wouldn't even complain about it. If she did it often enough, she might start actually liking it.

Tiffany

While Taeyeon is very proud of her skin and facial features, Tiffany likes her own lips the most. And she likes to see your cock completely covered in her lipstick, after a great blowjob. She always carries one or two of them around in her purse, just in case the two of you are down for some fun while being outside the house. She has so many different shades and colours of lipsticks, her collection is probably more expensive than your car. Dark red, pink, black and the last one she bought, one with glitter, just to name a few. But the very first thought on Tiffany's mind, when she buys a new one, is how it would look, smeared on your cock.

And when a store does offer samples, the two of you quickly disappear for a while to "test out the product in advance".

After a sloppy and rough blowjob, Tiffany almost likes the sight of her lips and corners of her mouth smeared with her lipstick just as much as the sight of it on your cock.

Hyoyeon

Hyoyeon is a combination of Yoona and Sooyoung. It depends on her mood. Sometimes, she loves it when you're rough with her, using her mouth like a toy. And on other days, she likes to be the one in control.

Her blowjobs are usually messy, no matter who's in charge. Her spit would always be everywhere. Your cock, her lips, chin and thighs, when she is kneeling. Nothing is off limits to you in regards to where you want to cum.

Yuri

Yuri is quite similar to Taeyeon, when it comes to her body, especially her face and skin. She loves to take care of herself, which means that most of your days end with you, covering every inch of her face with your cum.

But compared to Taeyeon, Yuri likes it a little rougher. On the days when she is really horny, she lets you use her mouth however you like as long as you reward her with your cum. But most of the time, she likes to suck you off, while you eat her out. It's a win win for the both of you.

Sooyoung

The main reason Sooyoung likes to give blowjobs, is the power she has over you, while she is giving you one. She likes to watch your face twitch with pleasure, while she tries something new every time. It always the same thing that finishes you though. Sooyoung, staring at you, demanding that you cum for her. Doesn't matter where you are. In your car, at home, in a dressing room at the mall, Sooyoung loves to count down from ten, once she senses that you're close. Just before you blow your load, she tells you exactly where she wants it.

Yoona

Yoona loves to get used. She prefers it, when you gently stroke her hair and slowly lean her head against an unforgiving surface. A wall, the edge of a bed, or the mirror in the practice room at SM, you name it. You would then slowly slide your cock into her mouth, telling her how pretty she looks like that. And once you start fucking her face, Yoona would moan around your cock in delight. She would do anything to make you feel good, while you basically nail her head against the hard surface behind her.

(Might be slightly inspired by her colors chapter, although I only realized after writing this that it actually matches)

Seohyun

Seohyun is usually too shy to ask for anything intimate. When she does want your cock, she would just rest her head on you lap, while watching a movie, and accidentally brush against your crotch. Or she would just wait for you to initiate something on your own.

I can see Seohyun as someone who has a breeding kink. She would love it, when you squeeze her waist during sex, while you pump your cum into her. And it even shows during her blowjobs. Or rather after. Because she would always make you blow inside her mouth. Then she would spit it out, into her hand, before moving it towards her pussy. She would finger herself, stuffing your cum deeper and deeper into her belly.

Now for the poll.

I originally planned on writing a series with SNSD. But thanks to one of you guys, I now have ideas and plots for at least two series.

So here it goes:

Hope you guys are having a good day. Don't forget that there is also a link at the top of my blog currently, so you guys can vote, if you want me to focus on a couple of request, like commissions, or not.

Stay healthy!

[caffeineandsociety]

There's a specific genre of shitty antisemitic joke that I have seen fly under the radar (as it was designed to) a LOT more often lately - especially since Kanye started going full mask-off nazi - so I feel the need to issue a warning about it. Namely, the genre is jokes that get spread around by people who aren't willfully antisemitic because outside of conspiracy brain rot land, it appears that the point of the joke is absurdism.

As an example, let's examine the 23-and-me lizard DNA test that I've sadly seen floating around unquestioned.

Because, see, to the average person who isn't willfully antisemitic, this genre of joke comes off as nonsequiturs, or hilarious mistakes - you, as a person with some level of basic observational and critical thinking skills, living on Earth and not in whatever batshit mirror dimension conspiracy theorists think we live in, might very well end up getting a giggle out of it because, HAH, we KNEW those DNA ancestry kits were a scam! If you're not a deliberate antisemite but not really up on the dogwhistles, it doesn't scan as anything awful because you're put in mind of things like feeding a photo of something decidedly not human into that one selfie-to-anime neural net, which sometimes works and produces interesting results because the thing is looking for specific patterns and trying to make anything fit - not things like blatantly lying about doing something like that in the hopes that normies who see the absurdity and want to have a laugh at a scummy company's expense will pass it along to people who unironically believe that Jewish people are actual literal lizard aliens and the test proves it.

This is the same strategy that guy at the game awards pulled. You, a person living in reality where the main source of political corruption is just the basic consequence of an economic system that makes power pool in the hands of anyone willing to exploit enough people, a world of banal mundane evil, know damned well that QAnon-pizzagate-satanic ritual abuse cult conspiracy bullshit is, well, bullshit, if you're even familiar with the details of what they believe at all. When someone crashes the stage and thanks Rabbi Bill Clinton, you may very well laugh because to YOU it is a blatant absurd nonsequitur.

Problem is that to someone else, someone who's deep into that shit, it's either someone letting the truth slip, or someone backing the deep state into a corner - whichever is more convenient to believe.

This is one form of how the far right uses memeification (CW: the example discussed in the link is a rape "joke") - it means something totally different to the in-group than it does to the out-group. To you, it's funny because it's nonsensical; to them, it's fun because they think they're onto something huge and they're about to blow this shit wide open and it's going to be their great moment of triumph.

I cannot stress enough that no matter how absurd an antisemitic conspiracy theory sounds to you, there are people who believe it, unironically. There are people who unironically believe that Jewish people are very literally not human and no amount of evidence to the contrary will ever change their minds. There are people who believe that we're born with horns and tails and pointed ears and have them surgically altered to fit in with good Christian humans like some kind of extremely high-stakes game of Among Us. There are people who believe that we steal, ritualistically abuse, and kill Christian babies. These beliefs, while fringe enough that, yeah, most of you who this post is aimed at have never heard them in the wild before very recently, are not nearly as fringe as you probably think they are. Just look at fucking Kanye. This asshole has more fans than there are Jewish people in the world.

So I'm begging you to please, bare minimum, be careful of "absurdist" jokes about Jewish people, especially if they reference lizards, money, banking, or government power. Also, you may see Jewish people debating how religious laws may apply to fictional creatures, but outside of that context you should also be wary of any time Jewish people are mentioned in the same sentence as vampires, dragons, goblins, zombies, fantasy demons, or any number of other fantasy creatures known for greed, feeding on humans, or both.

If the reason it seems funny to you is because you'd have to be really stupid to believe it's true or makes any kind of sense - it's probably looking for you to spread it to people who are, in fact, that stupid.

[growling]

*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaoo…. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramatic….. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare… Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic

[ms-demeanor]

Also I have to say "but bands are using AI art for their album covers" is not a winning argument.

That band wasn't going to pay you. That band was going to beg somebody's artist brother for a freebie or they were going to have the people in the band who can kind of draw draw something or they were going to use a moody photo someone took with their cellphone. Best possible scenario is "they were going to trade for something from someone in the scene," and this is still the most likely scenario for bands that *give a shit* about that kind of thing.

And I've been the one doing freebie artwork for my musician friends; I've made album covers and done promo shoots, I've drawn logos and I've got a standing offer to make buttons for the cost of materials for every band I've ever played a show with. The people who give a shit in the scene are already doing this because everybody knows that everybody's broke.

I'm certain that there's not *zero* overlap between "bands that can afford to pay artists and photographers to create album artwork" and "bands that are using AI art for their album covers" but if you think "indie musician" is a demographic that has money to spare on commissioned artwork, I'm pretty sure you're mistaken.

Like. Okay, I mean my *big* argument is that AI image generation is fair use, full stop.

But the secondary argument that I've got is that I'm not sure there's a market to have the bottom fall out of.

The person making shitty covers for their amazon romance novel was not going to pay you. They were going to pay someone on fiverr eight dollars *at best* and that's only if they couldn't find a way to DIY.

That band that's trying desperately to sell ten tickets so they can play a show at the cool venue was not going to pay you to do their cover art. Their last fifty bucks just went to covering those tickets because their friends aren't even coming to their free shows. They were going to stage a photoshoot with a cellphone and a timer and someone's sister's selfie stick.

That person who made an AI avatar was not going to pay you for a custom avatar they were going to take a screenshot of your work and use that.

The people who are able to afford to pay artists and who are interested in paying artists are not the people who are replacing artists with AI. The t-shirt dropshippers, the shitty book cover designers, the bland corporate artists, and the art reposting instagram pages were the ones who undercut your market.

If you're concerned that someone is going to use AI to make art that is materially similar to yours and sell it, you're just concerned that someone is going to make art that is materially similar to yours to sell. The concerns about AI doing it are functionally exactly the same as what happens when someone says "wow, I want that on a t-shirt" under your drawing. If someone were to draw a character similar to but distinct from yours with words similar to but distinct from yours and put a link to that on a reblog of your post, that person is not actually infringing on you. They're a shithead, but that's not actually art theft. If they used your character and your words, or if they directly copy the image, that's art theft and you can try to get their post taken down. It's the exact same thing with AI.

The people who care about art and can afford to pay for it are always going to pay for it. Your problem isn't with AI, your problem is with the fact that people don't value art and that's as true now as it was a decade ago.

You are trying to sell a complicated, crocheted sundress made with 100% hand-dyed alpaca wool on Etsy and are complaining that the loose knit acrylic sundress from walmart is undercutting your market. Some people are always going to make the effort to save up and pay for your work because they value the craftsmanship, but those people didn't want to shop at WalMart in the first place. And the ones who value your craftsmanship but just plain can't afford it were going to dig through the bins at a thrift store until they found a crocheted swim cover from the seventies that they could pass off as a dress with a few alterations.

[pretty-little-mind33]

NSFW ALPHABET

Pietro Maximoff x fem!reader

ask: hiii may i ask for a nsfw alphabet with pietro maximoff if you havent done that one yet? i really loved your fics with him hagwhahw i’ve been searching like crazy for pietro maximoff fanfics and there are only a few.. but anyways, have a nice day also hehe

~ we need more pietro content fr! i gotchu babes 🩵 ~

mature content warning

A = Aftercare (what they're like after sex)

He is such a sweetheart when it comes to aftercare! He wants to make sure he's taking care of his girl! Making sure you're cared for and feeling safe with him, which means running a bath, peppering kisses all over your sore skin, braiding/combing your hair, cleaning you up and cuddling with you until you're asleep.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Pietro loves his legs. This isn't necessarily sexual but more because he runs with his legs and he likes his super speed. He also likes his hands because of what he can do with them 😄 For you? He loves every inch of you but he does have a soft spot for your thighs. God, he loves feeling your thighs under his hands, or having them wrapped around his waist/head/wherever he can have them!

(on another note in my mind he's a boob guy 😏 loves boobs. Any boobs, no matter the size and shape he's all over them)

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Pietro likes when he can come inside you because it makes him feel like he owns you—he has a possessive streak. He also loves fingering you because that means he can lick your come from his fingers and taste you on his tongue. He's feral for the way you taste.

D = Dirty secret (a dirty secret of theirs)

He often masturbate to selfies/pictures you send of yourself—dirty ones or normal ones it doesn't matter—he needs you and he'll masturbate to your picture alone. Yes, he'll feel a little ashamed but he'll do it anyways because he's extra horny.

E = Experience (how experienced are they?)

Super experienced. Man whore. Had fun when he was single, who can blame him? He's sexy af 😩He's done almost everything under the sun and if he hasn't? He's willing to try. (Obviously he's a loyal guy now that he's with you, but as I said…man whore).

F = Favorite position (👀)

Lives for a riding but doesn't like reverse cowgirl because he loves to see you and see your tits bounce as you do. Makes his feral! His second favorite would be good old missionary because you can't go wrong with a good classic!

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Pietro likes jokes, he likes having fun. He's goofy so he'll joke around during sex but if you like it serious, he'll only be serious. If you like the laughs and giggles, he'll indulge you without question. He just wants you to be happy!

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

I feel like he's all natural lol…he's is good with hygiene though! No worries there! And I mean I think his silver hair is dyed so it's assuming his pubic hair isn't silver lmao! I feel like he'd somehow dye it for fun (idk how good that is for the goods though or if that burns)

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can be very romantic but he prefers being a little more rough with you during sex. He isn't like bdsm rough but he likes letting go and using you. However, as said, his aftercare is absolutely banger and he's usually romantic then.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

As mentioned he masturbates to pictures of you and overall he's just super horny. Constantly horny. He has a high sex drive so he masturbates a lot. He likes masturbating with you (so mutual masturbation or you giving him a handjob). He likes masturbating in the evening, it helps him fall asleep.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Pietro has a breeding kink 100%! Like okay, he also has an edging kink (if that's even a thing). He'll go slow with the thrusts. Slow and deep, making you feel it all, but not get quite enough to achieve anything more than becoming cock dumb.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He likes using the couch—any position on the couch lmao. Or he likes a bed, he's a classic at heart. He doesn't like car sex because he doesn't have any space, he gets antsy and he feels trapped.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Anything you do. Especially if it's with your mouth. If you lick your lips or bite your lips. Even simply show off some skin turns him on. Any touch when he's horny sets him on fire. He's surprisingly easy to rile up.

N = No (something they wouldn't do, turn offs)

He wouldn't be into sharing. Like if you wanted a threesome it would take MONTHS and MONTHS of convincing him to let another man or woman be around you like that. He's a possessive guy and he loves you, he wants you all to himself! Plus, being a twin I bet he's kinda sick of sharing lol

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Obviously he likes when you give him head, I mean what man doesn't? But he likes eating you out more. He likes when you tremble and the sounds you make. And oh he's soo good at it. Sometimes when you guys have "sex", it's only foreplay because he exhausts you just from his mouth alone.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Pietro is fast, duh. He's fast but he's also controlled and he can go slow when he wants. He doesn't use his super speed obviously because that would break you and hurt you, but I like to think he can vibrate his cock like a vibrator lmaoooo (😩).

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Quickies are fun for him. He likes to have them when you're both busy. His favorite place for a quickie is a bathroom (a clean one lol, only the best for his girl).

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He def experiments and if you want to experiment, he definitely agrees and hears you out! While he doesn't like sharing, he likes the risk of having sex somewhere semi-public! He lives for the thrill and he doesn't mind if someone sees because he knows he can keep you safe so really, let the other assholes watch 😌

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He has good stamina because of his powers! He can go for hours and hours but once he comes, he's done. Now, his stamina for foreplay is unmatched. He will never get tired of making his girl feel good!

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Pietro owns no toys for himself, but he uses your vibrator on you when you ask him. He doesn't feel emasculated, he knows it only enhances the pleasure he gives you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

HUGE TEASE! Like he's constantly teasing you and making dirty jokes to turn you on! He likes edging you and especially overstimulating you because he can usually last longer than you. Whispers dirty things in your ear all the time and then teases you under the table at dinner (if yk yk)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Usually, he's quieter than most. He controls his breathing for running so he can do it very well during sex. However, you like the noises he makes so he is conscious of them and he has this whimper you LOVE. It's soft and yet throaty, basically it's perfect like he is. Sometimes, when he's going particularly hard, he'll grunt in your ear but that's mostly for show, not that you mind.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon)

Pietro calls you pet names in Sokovian when he's having sex. Hell, he'll use more Sokovian than usual (he usually uses English pet names like dove, sweet girl, my heart), but because his mind is so fuzzy and lust filled he just automatically transfers to his native language. It's hot.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's not small, but I don't think he's super big either. Like it never hurts! I'd give him a solid 7 and he's def a shower.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

As high as possible. Constantly horny.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

As soon as aftercare is performed and you're all good, he's gone and sleeping like a baby. He spoons you (or you spoon him) and he sleeps all night, occasionally kissing your neck in his sleep.

[fatale-distraction]

BG3 Companions Social Media Headcanons Part 1

I was bored at work and couldn’t stop. 🤣 I’ll make another post with Halsin, Minthara, Jaheira, Minsc, and some NPCs!

~~~

Astarion - Pre-Tav, Astarion's social media is mostly thirst-traps for some kind of nefarious, Cazador-related money-making plot. They barely scoot past the TOS on lewd content. Very little real personal content, anything that isn't a thirst trap is heavily doctored lifestyle content to make it seem like he's living a much more luxurious life than he actually is.

After meeting Tav and getting rid of Cazador, he deletes all of his old accounts and opens up new ones. They're not exactly private, but he's much more careful about who he follows and who can follow him back. The posts become much more genuine. Still a lot of selfies, but they're sexy in the way of a guy just finally living his truth and being comfortable in his own skin. There's more shots of his daily life; waking up with his partner's obnoxious pets strewn across the bed, morning coffee and his current favorite book, new outfits that make him feel more himself. Tav features heavily in most of his posts, and there are probably as many pictures of them as there are of himself.

Karlach - chaos. No rhyme or reason. Lots of parkour and Jack-ass parodies. Constant flood of pictures of her stuffed animal collection. Stupid filters abound. There's several videos of her just flexing. Lumberjack videos. Seven hundred pictures of Tav, tons of selfies together. Videos of her literally sobbing over some cute stuffy she found or a dog she got to pet. "How many times can I say the fuck word before I get suspended." Memes. Memes everywhere.

Lae'zel - She follows three accounts and never posts anything, but somehow she's constantly scrolling through. What does she even do? Her profile picture is still the default. She doesn't have any profile information filled out. It just says "No." Her screen name is just Lae_zel. Every single item in her favorites is a cat video. She has One photo and its a gym selfie. All of her comments seem really mean at first, but they're all weirdly supportive things along the lines of "your teeth are sharp and your visage terrifying".

Shadowheart - total E-girl influencer vibe. Everything is #nofilter. She doesn't need filters. She's god's most perfect princess. You can't even be mad because it's not vanity its just how she Is. Ends everything with Prayer-hands-emoji hashtag Shar'sblessings or Selune'sblessings depending on where she is in that journey. Hairstyle and makeup tutorials and she makes it look so damn easy. "Dye my hair and cut my bangs with me." "Get ready with me" videos nearly every day. Every picture has a comment from Astarion that just says "oh fuck off" because even he can never hope to be as perfect as she is. Or at least that's what her forty-five thousand followers think.

Wyll - The official Blade of the Frontier social media account(s). Fencing videos and promos. "How to polish your horns for newbies" video that's been taken down twenty-seven times for lewd content even though it's literally for polishing actual horns. Accidental thirst traps because damn. Lots of disability advocacy, especially for visual impairments. Weekly Demon/Devil PSAs. Constantly featured in Karlach's vids and vice-versa. Buddy selfies. Once in a while a pic of him with his dad. Pics with Tav are rare, but when he does post them they're the sweetest pictures and he gushes about them for paragraphs. It's a little gross how gushy they are. Astarion comments with vomit emojis and Wyll just replies with an angry face emoji. The purest content. He's so wholesome. Not a swear to be seen. Lots of gentle hype videos. "You've got this. You can do this. I believe in you."

Gale - oh my god he has the most pretentious social media accounts. He's worse than Astarion. "Well, actually" videos with multiple parts because they're too long. Tea and bookshelves. Tara. So many pics of Tara. Tara napping on a book. Tara swatting a fly. Tara in the window. Tara on the kitchen counter. Tara laying in the sun. Tara doing nothing. He has one of those fancy cat terrarium backpacks. Magic tutorials. Mystra simp. Surprisingly few selfies but the ones he has are IMMACULATE. Pretentious book reviews. His only saving grace is that he is HILARIOUS. He's the only one with a reasonable about of pics with Tav as opposed to almost none or way too many, but the captions are always really sweet.

~~~

Part 2 here!

Part 3 here!

Part 4

[iwritestuffthatiobsessover]

Ninjago Headcanons from an elder fan

Part 1

There is a group chat, and it pops off all hours of the day. And often the conversation is being texted in all caps, or voice messages of the ninja yelling at each other.

Skylor was added to it but left because there were too many notifications while she was working.

Zane will take selfies in the middle of the battle and send it to the group chat

Nya begs him to stop doing it but Zane thinks it's hilarious

Kai is a material girl; he does his skincare, haircare, and body care and will often pester Nya about where she goes to fix herself up for dates.

Ninjas who ride cycles also wear helmets, which increases their attractiveness by 200%.

Lloyd has taken on the man bun. Yes, it does work out for him.

Jay is severely underrated. He's strong, average-sized, and has freckles all over. This dude is a ninja and commonly climbs high places to practice his element. He's got to have that nice upper body strength.

Cole's the tallest, heaviest, and strongest. He's pure muscle, but he's also a gentle giant when he's not in battle. Even sparring, he'll go easy in an effort to not hurt his friends.

He will, however, pick Jay up and just carry him out of the room if he gets too aggravating.

Nya will still tinker with mech, and often spends time with Pixal doing so. They're lesbians, and Nya taught Pixal how to be more self-assured and independent.

Pixal's life revolved around serving other people, and she had to be taught how to serve herself.

Zane and Pixal are similar to how the D:BH androids function. They can download any file, and research anything, but once it comes to human experiences and emotions, they have to take their time and learns from being hands-on.

That's why it took so long for Zane to catch on to simple emotions and phrases, and why he still has trouble even if he's made improvements.

Zane and Nya are close friends, they were the oddballs before Lloyd showed up.

Nya and Lloyd are also really close because of this, and while as a child he loved to annoy her, he actually really looked up to her.

Babysit isn't the proper wording, but Nya definitely looked after Lloyd and taught him the basic functions of how to take care of himself.

Kai as well, the Smith's were the closest thing to a pair of siblings Lloyd could've had growing up, and their bond still stays strong.

Lloyd still clings onto remnants of his short childhood. He will do things to heal his inner child.

There's articles and social media posts catching him swinging on a swingset with Cole, or getting icecream with Kai. He'll even go to a comic-con or two...or ten.

While the ninja aren't necessarily paid for their efforts, the city will give them a check every so often whenever Ninjago is saved by a big baddie.

However, if there are casualties or if the city is destroyed (Ex. The Great Devourer), that money will go back into repairing the city.

But, Nya keeps the finances in check, and knows how to haggle for anything the team may need (she threatens the salespeople).

But even with the extra money, some will seek a second responsibility. Pixal will do hybrid part-time jobs, and Jay will pick up a delivery contract for example. Something to take a break from daily training and punching bad guys.

They still have their golden weapon vehicles because I said so, and I like people on motorcycles. They also have spare backups that Nya has built from scratch. She almost strangled Jay for crashing that one.

And yes, Nya has a motorcycle, too.

But all in all, they've found each other as family, and it's ride or die with all of them. Especially Zane.

[tokyo-debunker-idk]

Crushed | 02

Summary: He's tried to convince Leo that you're a cool person, to which the former just scoffs and accuses Sho of having a crush. Honestly, the reaction is obnoxious – people of the opposite sex are perfectly able to have platonic friendships. Just because Sho's taken to bringing an extra lunch for you on training days so you can eat together after, and he enjoys spending time with you, and you're pretty and smell good even after an hour of sparring, doesn't mean he has a crush.

Pairing: Haizono Sho x Reader x Kurosagi Leo

Genre: Humor, romantic comedy, slowish burn, no real plot, Leo bullying

18+, minors DNI

~~~~~

"Haxs."

Leo is eavesdropping, an entirely common occurrence.

He is eavesdropping on you and Sho, an entirely uncommon occurrence.

Generally, the influencer uses his stigma to uncover juicy gossip or dark organizational secrets. It comes in handy when blackmailing rich, pathetic old men, or gaining influence in important decisions.

Plus, he loves to know things others don't. As soon as he smells anything suspicious, his own curiosity consumes him. Which is how he knows about the interesting issue with a spy amongst the ghouls.

Leo discovered that juicy little tidbit entirely by accident.

The salacious part of him had expected the secret meetings between Alan, the Vagastrom captain and Tohma, the prim and proper Frostheim Vice-Captain, to be some sort of lover's affair, kept secret due to the animosity between houses. He needed solid evidence before wielding the conjecture as a weapon (Alan's remarks about his investigation being incomplete do not rankle), so he used the honor student's ability to bypass whatever anomalous sound-proofing had been done to the beat-up old car the two men had been meeting in.

And he had learned something infinitely more fascinating than he had expected.

That ability of yours is quite useful, especially at Darkwick, where secrets simmer beneath the apparent calm of the status quo. No one wants to talk about the mysterious Clash that led to the dissolution of three houses and the poorly hidden tension in the air. It's obvious that any discussions of actual worth are held behind closed, sound-proofed doors.

To satisfy his itching curiosity, he needs to use the meek, helpful little honor student with no backbone or personality other than agreeing to whatever tasks you're given. The honor student who gets pulled this way and that by the ghouls you're working with, whether trotting documents or being taken on dangerous missions.

The honor student, who isn't as easy and pliable as he had been led to believe.

Leo hadn't taken your insistence on a favor seriously, because he hadn't expected anything substantial. Perhaps a selfie with him for social media, or help with schoolwork – he has top results, after all, and it's not like you've had any time to actually attend any classes. You hadn't shown enough personality for him to expect anything out of the ordinary.

But no, you scratched him with your hidden claws, and now he's lurking by the nearly empty Pit to listen to you and Sho as you unwind after training. Training he had not realized you were doing until the humiliating event he does his best not to think about.

If there's anything Leo hates, it's being out of the loop. Especially when that ignorance comes back to bite him so spectacularly.

He's not eavesdropping on you because he cares about what you think, or because he's curious about what you talk about with Sho. He's merely doing this so he can have something to use against you should you threaten to reveal… undesirable information about him.

Leo ignores the fact that you're not the type of person to do that to others, that even your dislike of him is straightforward and honest, much like yourself.

What is it like to wear your heart and intentions on your sleeve with no ulterior motives, without worrying about being taken advantage of? Aren't you scared? The world isn't fair, and when it rains misfortune, the "good" get just as drenched as the "bad". Potentially more, because he's perfectly willing to shove someone out into the open if it means covering his own ass.

Why is it so easy for you to accept the ghouls and take your own situation in stride? Anyone so blase must be an idiot.

"Ugh, Leo is the worst."

He seems to have tuned in at the perfect moment, as you complain about him to Sho. He rolls his eyes. Do you really think this transparent attempt to turn his best friend against him is going to work?

"He's competent and intelligent enough to make plans, and has the guts to follow through with them. And while he was an asshole about it, he was right about my shortcomings."

Wait, what?

"He has qualities I wish I did, and that's what makes him so much more obnoxious."

Leo misses Sho's response in his shock.

He's used to people judging him, for reasons both frivolous and valid. His good looks and social media acumen give him admirers who think they know him, and haters who think they know him better. Many are jealous of his success, and others who know him in real life dislike him for using people as stepping stones. Either way, he really doesn't give a shit what any of them think.

To have his actual abilities acknowledged in this fashion is both unexpected and surprisingly gratifying. Especially because considering your sour tone, you truly mean it. They're not empty words meant to get on his good side – not that you would even know he's listening. Besides, it's already clear you have no intention of being on his good side. You hate him despite your admiration. Or, more accurately, you admire him despite your dislike.

It appears you're more interesting than you initially seemed. Perhaps he can have a little fun with you.

Deep in thought, he heads back to his room, not even realizing that he's forgotten why he had been listening in the first place.

~~~~~

You're not blind.

Shohei Haizono (you sometimes idly wonder why he hates his full name) is incredibly handsome, with his messy silver hair, dark blue eyes, and snarky smile. The motorcycle and the cooking are only two of his many additional attractive qualities.

And you know that being a ghoul, he's much stronger than a normal human – especially you, someone who has had minimal athletic exposure until you've arrived at Darkwick. It's not lost on you that he and Alan hold back during training, the few times you're actually allowed to spar with them and not just do strength-training exercises while he gets thrown around by the captain.

While you have filled out some, your arms still feel closer to wet noodles than to anything resembling strength, and beating Leo doesn't quite translate to feeling tough because (1) he wasn't taking it seriously until it was too late, and (2) he has the slender physique (and diva-like attitude) of a prima ballerina.

Comparing your strength to a willowy pretty-boy doesn't quite translate to the silent, immovable fortitude of men as thick as oak trees. And you've seen that they are thick, thanks to the blessed few times Alan and Sho have worn shorts to work out.

You know all of this, and yet you realize you haven't grasped just how strong he is, or how much he holds back until seeing him hoist a full-sized, commercial refrigerator onto his shoulder with one arm. He doesn't even look particularly inconvenienced, which only makes it all the more humbling.

And hot. It's also really hot.

Particularly when you know that beneath his Darkwick Academy jacket lies toned muscle and broad shoulders.

Despite his rough exterior, Sho is surprisingly kind. He brings you (delicious, delicious) food, gives you fighting tips, and is so laid-back that time with him isn't draining the way it can be with your other new friends. And he's intelligent, needing to read or hear something only once before it's ingrained in his memory. So much so that he has somehow already learned all your favorite foods (though it's beginning to feel like every new dish of his you try becomes your new favorite).

In short, he is objectively husband material, and the reminder that he could toss you around like a sack of potatoes is not helping the attraction you feel for the ghoul.

"What's that moronic look on your face?"

With a start, you realize you've been ogling. Resolutely ignoring the heat on your face, you try for a casual comment.

"Oh, I was just…" Come up with something viable, YN, you got this. "You're… pretty strong, aren't you?" Goddammit.

Luckily, Sho doesn't seem to realize why you were staring, and you are silently grateful for small miracles.

"Not really. A normie could carry this," he replies with a shrug, though there's a smug undercurrent to his voice.

"Yeah, okay," you reply sarcastically, putting the fridge attachments in your bag so you don't have to be attacked by the way his bicep strains against his sleeve. "Definitely."

As the two of you begin to leave the diner, a shriek stops you.

"What are you doing here?!"

You whirl to see Ren Shiranami, the handsome but dour ghoul from the Jabberwock house.

Hadn't the front of the diner been empty? Where had he popped up from? For a moment you wonder if he had hidden under the counter, before discounting it as too ridiculous to be a possibility.

"Oh? You're the first-year who works here…"

"Who?" asks Sho with a scowl, sounding miffed at the hold-up.

"Huh?"

He looks surprised to be addressed, and you realize his outburst had actually been directed at a red-haired student who has thrown his arm over Ren's shoulder. "Um… hey…"

Ren looks so uncomfortable, like he's being held hostage, that you find yourself feeling somewhat sorry for him. Even if he acts like a crabby grandfather suffering from an arthritis flare-up.

"Sorry we were so noisy last time," you offer, not sure why you're trying to make a peace that you hadn't broken in the first place. The guy looks incredibly out of his element, and if there's any feeling you can sympathize with, it's that.

"It's fine… I don't care…"

His tone is miserable and resigned in a way that makes you suspect the ghoul is just an extreme introvert. He looks vaguely annoyed at everything in general rather than you in particular, and it helps you not take his grumpiness personally.

Huh, perhaps he really was hiding under the counter to avoid interacting with anyone. To be honest, you can't really blame him. You would probably do the same if Jin, Frostheim's demanding Captain, was looking for someone to iron his shirts (again).

"Oh! You're a friend of Ren's? Nice to meet you! Thanks for looking out for him!"

You jump at the loud, enthusiastic voice, and Ren flinches. Before you can even get your bearings, the red-haired stranger is grabbing your hand in a firm, vigorous hand-shake.

"Er… um, sure?"

You look questioningly at Ren, who just shakes his head and rolls his eyes at you.

"This is the worst…" he mutters, looking like he regrets every life decision he's ever made. The contrast between his sullen attitude and the newcomer's chipper demeanor is almost comical.

"I'm Haru Sagara, captain of Jabberwock! It's a pleasure!"

Ah, if he's a captain then he must also be a ghoul. He's cute, if a bit energetic, still shaking your hand as he launches into what seems to be a sales pitch.

You're a bit overwhelmed and bewildered as to what is going on, as Haru tells you about some nature tour and introduces you to the very adorable, round little creature with bunny ears swaddled in his baby sling. And he's still shaking your hand.

"No worries! Starting today you can be my friend! Mates rates guaranteed, whenever you want to swing b–"

"Hey man, back off."

Your hand is wrenched out of Haru's grip and you're suddenly faced by a very irritated-looking Sho. He's glaring at Haru, but you barely notice, because he seems to have unconsciously twined his fingers with yours. Despite the force with which he had yanked you away from the Jabberwock captain, his grip is surprisingly gentle.

A swim ring appears out of nowhere, trapping Haru's arms to his body, but it doesn't seem particularly interesting compared to the insidious warmth of Sho's skin, or the rough calluses on his palm. You wonder if there are other side effects to your flowery curse, because for some reason butterflies seem to have taken up residence in your stomach.

"This is dumb. Come on, let's go."

"Huh?" you're too focused on how warm Sho's grip is to pay attention, and he gives an impatient sigh. He doesn't even seem to notice your mini-short circuit, which is both a blessing and curse. A blurse. Much like your entire time with Darkwick.

"This fridge is heavy."

Fridge? What fridge?

Oh right, the fridge he is holding with one hand, the hand that isn't currently wrapped around your own. That fridge.

You have to jog to keep up with his long strides as he pulls you out the door, completely unaffected. Meanwhile, your own heart is racing, and for the first time you think you might be in some trouble. Imminent death and threats of maiming are one thing. Physical attraction, you can handle.

Real feelings are entirely more terrifying.

~~~~~

"LEO KUSANAGI, EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!!"

Leo smirks as you burst into the Vagastrom dorm, emanating such an aura of rage that even the toughest thugs in the room suddenly decide that they have things to do elsewhere.

"What's up, Honor Roll?" he asks innocently, lounging on the couch with Sho, the picture of repose. Then he registers what you called him, and frowns. "And it's Kurosagi."

You stomp up to him (and the very confused Sho) and shove your phone in his face.

"Tell me why I woke up to five-thousand notifications on my Instagram," you seethe. "Most of which are from people who seem to think I'm your girlfriend."

Sho makes a choking noise beside him, and whether it's from amusement, shock, or any other assorted mixture of emotions, Leo doesn't really care.

"You're welcome," he replies blithely, giving a lazy stretch as your eye twitches. Seeing you this pissed off is quite amusing, and it relieves some of the stress he's been accumulating by being unable to leave the campus. It also makes him feel a little better about The Event. "Your social media presence was pathetic."

"I–you–" you splutter, clearly at a loss. Yeah, Leo is definitely enjoying this. "I don't want a social media presence! I'm getting death threats."

"Eh, you get used to that kind of thing after a while," Leo responds with a nonchalant wave of his hand, not thinking anything of his response.

"You are such a fucking – you get death threats?"

You actually sound concerned when you register his reply, which is most definitely not the reaction he expected. Your frown has acquired a hint of something that looks suspiciously like concern, and Leo is… very confused.

"It's nothing new and nothing to lose sleep over," he replies dismissively, annoyed and a bit off-balance by the way you're pretending to care. Your response does nothing to allay his discomfiture.

"Are you okay?"

He doesn't get it. You don't even like him. The two of you aren't friends, and have zero rapport to speak of. If anything, you should be pleased that others agree with your feelings.

So why aren't you gloating? Why does it seem like you're actually worried?

Leo told you the truth – he's used to death threats and hate comments. In a twisted sense, it's proof that he's made it, that he's somebody important enough to be angry about. One can't become a semi-famous internet celebrity without developing an immunity to venomous words.

It appears, however, that he has not developed the necessary antibodies to counteract the sincerity in your eyes, because he has no idea what he's supposed to say.

To cover his bafflement, he chooses his default derision.

"A useless normie like you wouldn't understand."

To his relief, the disconcerting compassion disappears from your face, replaced by the scowl he's used to. Sho shifts as if about to say something, and you open your mouth to no doubt begin a new tirade, so Leo continues before anyone can interject.

"Besides, what are a few nobodies compared to the shit you've been dealing with anyway? You can handle it."

You splutter at his words and take a deep breath, looking like you're struggling between calming down or leaping onto the couch to strangle him. Part of Leo hopes for the latter, if only because your taking the higher road would be boring.

Unfortunately Instead, a secret third scenario occurs.

Your phone buzzes, and the contact name "Ice King" flashes across your screen. You groan, immediately forgetting the situation to open your message. Irritation flares in Leo's gut – really, a text from the rich Frostheim prick is enough to grab your full attention?

"When it's not one asshole, it's another," you grumble, shoving your phone in your pocket. Leo momentarily forgets his ire when you jab your finger into his chest, giving him a look of delightfully malevolent intent that only makes him want to rile you up even further. "This isn't over."

The ire returns when you look at Sho and smile. As a master of false expressions, Leo can tell yours is real. And it's annoying.

"See you at lunch?" you ask in a tone so honeyed Leo wonders how Sho hasn't gotten a toothache. His friend grins back – also an obnoxiously genuine smile – and nods.

"Sure thing."

With that you're gone, leaving Leo wondering just how you've embedded your claws into his best friend so quickly.

"She's hot when she's mad," Sho remarks with a wistful expression completely opposite to the way he's ogling your ass as you leave. God, his friend really does have it bad.

"Ugh, you and your stupid crush," Leo replies disdainfully.

He ignores the tiny part of him that agrees.

~~~~~ Previous | Masterlist | Next

[anistarrose]

Things To Know To Get Your Vote Counted — Non-Exhaustive List

[Plain text: "Things To Know To Get Your Vote Counted — Non-Exhaustive List."]

Post date: October 28, 2024. Contains information relevant to both in-person and absentee voting.

Same Day Voter Registration:

[Same Day Voter Registration:]

If you're not already registered to vote, over 20 states (and DC) allow you to register while you're at the polling place on election day (or for early voting). If you're making a last-second decision to vote, or you thought you were registered but found out you weren't, these states give you options up until (insert time the polls close) on November 5th.

[ID: map with states shaded where same-day registration is allowed in 2024. States that allow it are: California, Colorado, Connecticut, District of Columbia, Hawaii, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Maine, Maryland, Michigan, Minnesota, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, Utah, Vermont, Virginia, Washington, Wisconsin, and Wyoming. (North Carolina only allows it during early voting.) End ID.] (Source: Ballotpedia)

Alaska and Rhode Island only allow same-day registering voters to vote for president/vice president. North Carolina only allows same-day registration in the early voting period. Most states require an ID and/or proof of residency to register as usual — the Ballotpedia page is a good starting point for researching requirements in your own state.

Casting a Provisional Ballot:

[Casting a Provisional Ballot:]

Provisional ballots are cast by voters who can't prove they are eligible to vote at the polling place on Election Day. For example, if you:

don't have a photo ID on you, but it's required in your state?

requested an ID ballot, but had to vote in person because you didn't receive it?

changed your name or address, but it doesn't show up in the registration information?

have your eligibility challenged by a poll worker for any reason?

Then you should ask for a provisional ballot. Moreover, federal law requires election officials to offer voters a way of tracking whether their vote was counted. Many states have online provisional ballot trackers.

Provisional ballots are used in all states except for Idaho and Minnesota. To learn more about your specific state, I recommend the National Conference of State Legislatures (archive link if the site is down).

Tracking Your Ballot and Curing Signatures:

[Tracking Your Ballot and Curing Signatures:]

In addition to provisional ballots, if you've submitted an absentee ballot, Vote.org compiles ballot trackers to ensure your ballot is received — the vast majority of states have an online version.

Moreover, if voting absentee, familiarize yourself with your state's cure period for signature errors, and be on the lookout for communication in case your signature is found not to match. 33 states require some kind of notification and ballot-curing process — which means that if your ballot is rejected, you have a chance to fix it, albeit most likely needing to appear in person.

Be Careful About Phones, Ballot Selfies, Political Clothing:

[Be Careful About Phones, Ballot Selfies, Political Clothing:]

Many states disallow taking pictures of your ballot, and even some of the states listed as "allowing" it only do so under specific conditions (ex: your face isn't in the photo, the photo isn't taken at the polling place, et cetera). Moreover, several states go even further, and ban phones at the polling place altogether. Nevada, Maryland, and Texas are the states I'm aware of, but there may be more.

Also, at least 21 states ban political apparel or buttons in polling places. Regarding both apparel and phones, it is also possible that cities could set their own rules, so you should err on the side of caution unless you know for a fact what's allowed and what isn't.

Responding to Voter Intimidation:

[Responding to Voter Intimidation:]

866-Our-Vote (866-687-8683) is a hotline you can contact, which will help connect you with lawyers and federal investigators. Their website also lists hotlines in Spanish, Arabic, and some East & Southeast Asian languages. If you witness or experience a civil rights violation, you should write down your account for future reference, contact the DOJ Civil Rights Division, and possibly also a local ACLU division.

Other Information:

[Other Information:]

Getting time off work to vote, state-by-state

State election department contact information

Vote411 (voting law information & candidate information)

If anyone notices an error or broken link in this post, please let me know so I can correct it. If anyone would like to add on information in the notes, please do so — especially if it's specific to your state! Please just include a source if possible, and present the information as accessibly as you can. Overall, good luck out there.