#this isn’t really just about fandom bullshit. some of you treat us like this outside of those spaces too

[shadelorde]

Ace community can we please for the love of god stop calling sex-favorable or sex-neutral aces “exceptions.”

I’ve seen one too many angry shipping discourse posts where yall are complaining about your ace blorbo being headcanoned to have sex by some people because of “exceptions.”

We are not exceptions. We are just as much a part of the ace community as you are. We are allowed to talk about our experiences and we are allowed to also project our experiences onto fictional characters as much as you are, and the fact you assume it’s just allo people talking about these “exceptions” is a part of the problem.

[rotationalsymmetry]

Tumblr is not real life: polyamory

Dating more people is not a substitute for other forms of connection, like friendships. If you’re bad at making or keeping friends or actually relying on the friends you have for emotional support (no shame, me too, it’s something you can and should work on though) then if you look for polyamorous relationships before you figure out the friends thing you are going to need a support network that you don’t actually have.

Most polyamorous relationships don’t involve everyone dating everyone else. They’re networks where usually two people who are dating a third person aren’t dating each other.

There’s actually reasons to be cautions about everyone-dates-everyone-else clusters (triads/throuples or with more people) even if everyone’s on board. Doubly so when people don’t have emotionally close connections outside of the polycule. Breaking up in a group like that is hard (I mean, even harder than breaking up a dyad is) and often people will put up with things that are bad for them because they’re afraid of breaking up.

Sometimes couples looking for “a third” for both of them to date (“unicorn hunters”) bring other bullshit to the table, like expecting the “third” to not date anyone else or not being public about the relationship or expecting the “third” to go along with whatever the original couple has decided, but even if those other aspects aren’t present, everyone-dates-everyone-else relationships are very risky.

When people avoid everyone-dates-everyone-else relationships, sometimes they still expect an excessive and inappropriate level of closeness between metamours (people who have the same partner.) While many polyamorous people prefer metamour closeness and this is a fine preference, it’s important to respect people’s boundaries when one person doesn’t want that, or when everyone wanted it initially but it’s just not working out. Metamours don’t have to be best buds.

It is really freaking weird to be polyamorous and see basically all polyamorous fic and discussion on tumblr be this highly romanticized, impractical version of polyamory — things that are about as realistic as falling in love at first sight and getting married immediately after and having that work out fine — and none of it reflects how polyamorous dating works (well) in the real world. It feels like polyamory is being used as a romantic fantasy prop rather than being taken seriously as a thing people actually do in the real world.

It’s basically 50 Shades of Gray for polyamory — like ok, glad you find the fantasy interesting I guess (and some people do find their way to real world communities via fantasy) but you’re treating us like vampires or something else that doesn’t actually exist.

And then newbies who want to try it out in the real world have their heads full of absolute nonsense, because they’ve only been exposed to the fantasy version.

there’s something called the “Geek Social Fallacies” (look it up) that criticized common ways geek/fandom communities handle friendships, such as expecting that friends should always hang out as one big group so if two people don’t really get along that’s a Massive Catastrophe. Really in healthy friend groups things are fluid and you can have different events with different people present, so it’s possible to stay friends with people who can’t stand being around each other. (Caveat: if one can’t stand another due to abuse sometimes it’s better to cut out the abuser. But often when two people don’t want to be around each other there isn’t a clear villain.) It’s the same way with both friendships and relationships in polyamory: it’s lovely when your friends get along and lovely when your partners get along, but it’s not necessary. And it’s unhealthy to make it be necessary.

[thebibliosphere]

So I'm currently unemployed because I got fired for taking too much sick leave (it was legally sketchy blah blah blah but in the end I just can't work and take care of myself and investigate my mystery health problems at the same time). So I've been spending more time writing!

I really admire your writing and loved Hunger Pangs. I'm looking forward to the poly elements developing and I'm wondering if you have any advice for writing about poly. I've made one of my projects a snarky take on "write what you know" ... Apparently what I know is southern gothic meets Pacific northwest gothic, chronic illness pandemic surrealism, and falling back-asswards into threesomes.

I know this is a very open-ended question and I don't expect an answer, I'm just curious about it if you have the energy. As a writer, trying to write honestly / realistically about polyamory/enm, I'm curious if you have any thoughts on what's different about portraying monogamy or nonmonogamy in books, romance or erotica or otherwise.

I'm trying to read examples but it's hard to find examples that fit the niche I'm looking at. Excuse me if this question is nonsense, it's the cluster headaches.

I'm sorry to hear you've been dealing with all that and solidarity on the cluster headaches. But I'm glad you're finding an outlet through writing! And I hope you're happy with an open-ended ramble in response because oh boy, there's a lot I could talk about and I could probably do a better job of answering this sort of thing with more specific questions, but let's see where we end up.

There's definitely a big difference between writing polyamory/ENM (ethical non-monogamy) and what people often expect from monogamous love stories.

Just even from a purely sales and marketing standpoint, the moment you write anything polyamorous (or even just straight up LGBTQIA+ without the ENM) you're going to get considered closer to being erotica/obscene than hetero romances. It's an unfair bias, but it's one that exists in our society. But also the Amazon algorithm and their shitty, shitty human censors. Especially the ones that work the weekends. (Talking to you, Carlos 🖕.)

So not only do you start out hyper-aware that you're writing something that is highly stigmatized or fetishized (at least I'm hyper-aware) but that you are also writing for a niche market that is starving for positive content because the content that exists is either limited, not what they want, or is problematic in some fashion i.e. highly stigmatized or fetishy. And even then, the wants, desires, and expectations of the community you're writing for are complex and wildly varied and hard to fit into an easy formula.

When writing monogamous love stories, there is a set expectation that’s really hard to fuck up once you know it. X person meets Y. Attraction happens, followed by some sort of minor conflict/resolution. Other plot may happen. A greater catalyst involving personal growth for both parties (hopefully) happens. Follow the equation to its ultimate resolution and achieve Happily Ever After. 

But writing ENM is... a lot more difficult, if only because of the pure scope of possibilities. You could try to follow the same equation and shove three (or more) people into it, but it rarely works well. Usually because if you’re doing it right, you won’t have enough room in a single character arc to allow for enough growth, and if ENM requires anything in abundance, it’s room to grow.

And this post is huge so I’m going to put the rest under a cut :)

There's also a common refrain in certain online polyam/ENM circles that triads and throuples are overrepresented in media and they may be right to some extent. Personally, I believe the issue isn't that triads and throuples are overrepresented, but that there is such minuscule positive rep of ethical non-monogamy in general, that the few tiny instances we have of triads in media make it seem like it's "everywhere" when in actuality, it's still quite rare and the media we do have often veers into Unicorn Hunter fetish porn. Which is its own problematic thing. And just to be clear, I’m not including this part to dissuade you from writing "falling back-asswards into threesomes." If anything, I need more of it and would hook it directly into my brain if I could. I'm just throwing it out there into the void in the hope that someone will take the thought and run with it, lol.

I’d love to see more polyfidelitous rep in fiction, just as much as I’d like to see more relationship anarchy too. More diversity in fiction is always good.

Another thing that differs in writing ENM romance vs conventional monogamy is the feeling like you need to justify yourself. There's a lot of pressure to be as healthy and non-problematic as possible because you are being held to a higher standard of criticism. Both from people from without the ENM communities, and from the people within. Granted, some people don't give a shit and just want to read some fantastic porn (valid) but there are those who will cheerfully read Fifty Shades of Bullshit and call it "spicy" and "romantic," then turn around and call the most tooth-rottingly-sweet-fluff about a queer platonic polycule heresy. That's just the way the world works.

(Pro-tip for author life in general: never read your own reviews; that way madness lies. I glimpsed one the other day that tagged Hunger Pangs as “ethical cheating” and just about had an aneurism.)

And while that feeling of needing to justify yourself comes from a valid place of being excluded from the table of socially accepted norms, it can also be to the detriment of both the story and the subject matter at hand. I've seen some authors bend so far over backward to avoid being problematic in their portrayal of ENM, they end up being problematic for entirely different reasons. Usually because they give such a skewed, rose-tinted perspective of how things work, it ends up coming off as well... a bit culty and obnoxious tbh.

“Look how enlightened we are, freed from the trappings of monogamy and jealousy! We’re all so honest and perfect and happy!”

Yeah, uhu, sure Jan. Except here’s the thing, not all jealousy is bad. How you act on it can be, but jealousy itself is an important tool in the junk drawer that is the range of human emotion. It can clue us in to when we’re feeling sad or neglected, which in turn means we should figure out why we’re feeling those things. Sometimes it’s because brains are just like that and anxiety is a thing. Other times it’s because our needs are actually being neglected and we are in an unhealthy situation we need to remedy. You gotta put the work in to figure it out. Which is the same as any style of relationship, whether it’s mono, polyam or whatever flavor of ENM you subscribe to* And sometimes you just gotta be messy, because that’s how humans are. Being afraid to show that mess makes it a dishonest portrayal, and it also robs you of some great cannon fodder for character development.

Which brings me in a roundabout way to my current pet peeve in how certain writers take monogamous ideals and apply them to ENM, sometimes without even realizing it. The “Find the Right Person and Settle Down” trope.

Often, in this case, ENM or polyamory is treated as a phase. Something you mature out of with age or until you meet “The One(tm).” This is, of course, an attempt to follow the mono style formula expected in most romances. And while it might appeal to many readers, it’s uh, actually quite insulting. 

To give an example, I am currently seeing this a lot in the Witcher fandom. 

Fanon Netflix!Jaskier is everyone's favorite ethical slut until he meets Geralt then woops, wouldn’t you know, he just needed to find The One(tm). Suddenly, all his other sexual and romantic exploits or attractions mean nothing to him. Let's watch as he throws away a core aspect of his personality in favor of a man. 

Yeah... that sure showed those societal norms... 

If I were being generous, I’d say it’s a poor attempt at showing New Relationship Euphoria and how wrapped up people can become in new relationships. But honestly, it’s monogamous bias eking its way in to validate how special and unique the relationship is. Because sometimes people really can’t think of any other way to show how important and valid a relationship is without defining it in terms of exclusivity. Which is a fundamental misunderstanding of how ENM works for a lot of people and invalidates a lot of loving, serious and long-term relationships.

This is not to say that some polyam/poly-leaning people can't be happy in monogamous relationships! I am! (I consider myself ambiamorous. I'm happy with either monogamy or polyamory, it really just depends on the relationship(s) I’m in.) But I also don't regard my relationship with a mono partner as "settling down" or "growing up." It's just a choice I made to be with a person I love, and it's a valid one. Just like choosing to never close yourself off to multiple relationships is valid. And I wish more people realized that, or rather, I wish the people writing these things knew that :P

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled enough. I hope this collection of incoherent thoughts actually makes some sense and might be useful. 

----

*A good resource book that doesn't pull any punches in this regard is Polysecure by Jessica Fern. It's a wonderfully insightful read that explores the messier side of consensual non-monogamy, especially with how it can be affected by trauma or inter-relationship conflicts. But it also shows how to take better steps toward healthy, ethical non-monogamy (a far better job than More Than Two**) and conflict resolution, making it a valuable resource both for someone who is a part of this relationship style***, but also for writers on the outside looking in who might have a very simple or misguided idea of what conflict within polyam/ENM relationships might look like, vs traditional monogamous ones.

** The author of More Than Two has been accused of multiple accounts of abuse within the polyamorous community, with many of his coauthors having spoken out about the gaslighting and emotional and psychological damage they experienced while in a relationship with him. A lot of their stories are documented here: https://www.itrippedonthepolystair.com/ (warning: it is not light material and deals with issues of abuse, gaslighting, and a whole other plethora of Yikes.) While some people still find More Than Two helpful reading, there are now, thankfully, much, much better resources out there.

*** Some people consider polyam/ENM to be part of their identity or orientation, while others view it as a relationship style.It largely depends on the individual. 

[anamatics]

Your opinion on old fandom forums vs, fandom today?

I didn't answer this one last night as I wanted to be able to type out a proper response, and one that's partly adapted from an essay I wrote back in 2016.

As a fandom old, I’ve spent a long time in fandom spaces. I did my time with writing slash and het ships, but I always loved writing stories for me about people like me. I have witnessed first-hand the rise and fall of listservs and live journal as places where people who liked femslash gathered to discuss their favorite shows. I know a lot of fandom history. When I comment on the events in fandom, it still comes from my position as a fan, not as a creative. I want to preface all of these thoughts with this.

Fandom used to be something that you didn't talk about. It was secret, never mentioned in public, zines and stories mailed back and forth across the country. The internet changed that, people's attitudes toward things like queer and trans identity changed that, people's want to see diversity on their screens changed that. Yet, at the same time, there is a whole new generation of young queer creatives emerging onto the writing scene who have grown up witnessing the rise and fall of these great, monolithic fandoms that exist beyond the space of shows themselves. More and more, networks, writers, and producers are paying attention to what the fandom says and to what they react to.

This is why I don't really like fandom these days, because I've seen both sides. I struggled with this working on Carmilla as someone who had been, and in may ways still was, a fan. I know fans have power, I've done things because I know fans have power. And yet, I felt like I'd lost my place in a community - in old fandom - because of this realization. And I myself asking questions about my place in new fandom. Questions that, most of the time, had no answers.

Is it valid to be both grateful for the acknowledgement of fan desires within the creative side of television and web writing and a little horrified by the amount of entitlement that any capitulation by those productions seems to engender within fans? Am I valid in feeling trapped by this feeling of wanting to be the best possible arbiter of representation and knowing that I can never be perfect because the perfection demanded by the queer community isn’t achievable? Does my voice even matter in fandom circles anymore because I’ve “crossed over” to the other side? Am I allowed to continue to speak critically about representation in shows that are not my own because I haven’t “fixed mine yet”?

I struggled with this when Carmilla was airing. I still struggle with it now, too, because I see how trolls on Twitter and Tumblr have reacted to folks like me speaking out about problems we see in our communities or within fandom. People like me aren’t allowed to criticize fandom, or fandom culture, because we’re no longer seen as truly a part of it: by being creators who can’t always live up to fandom’s sometimes unreasonable standards, we’re now considered just part of the problem. We can’t critique behaviors and call things out within this fandom community that should also represent us because when we do we’re hurting the fandom community.

Every queer creative out there has shouldered some of this hurt, I know I have. I stand by what I’ve said despite the backlash. If you cannot believe in the truth you speak, what good are you to a community looking to you for change?

Those who speak to the internal problems of fandom culture are shouted down. People with years of fandom experience, who are far more knowledgeable of the history of fandom (and especially the femslash corners of it) and presence in media than the present-day narrative setters, are shouted down and told that we are part of the problem. Creatives who speak out and criticize other works are treated equally poorly. The problem is that in refusing to look at the problems within our fandom spaces, and saying that everyone outside the group is to blame for the problems of poor representation, we are sticking our fingers in our ears and refusing to look at what’s wrong with us. We eat our own.

The queer community – and by extension the queer fandom community – functions like an ouroboros as far as I can tell. That’s the snake from Norse mythology that eats its tail, representing infinity but also representing the inevitable crush of our own bullshit as it comes down around us with the hopes of becoming a better community. There should be a place within this community for everyone, and yet it’s this same space that is preoccupied with gatekeeping characterized by constant infighting, identity policing, and silencing or invalidating opinions that don’t perfectly align with this vision of what is considered acceptable in the eyes of the thinking of the day.

Queerness is messy. There’s a lot of nuance to it. And there will always be people who want their own community within that umbrella of queerness. That’s a valid want. You want to be around people who are homogenous, because it’s when variety is introduced that feelings get hurt. But the existence of a community for marginalized people should not come at the detriment and degradation of other vulnerable people, nor should it come at the expanse of dismissing intersectionality within our community.

But instead, we eat our own. We dismiss trans headcanons like people in old fandom used to dismiss queer headcanons. We're doing the same bullshit, just rinsed and repeated, directed at a new set of people whose voices are smaller than the small specks of power new fandom has granted (cis, white) queer people.

We fight ourselves amongst because we feel as though we cannot fight the forces of our own oppression. We censor ourselves to make sure that we don’t say anything to upend the proverbial apple cart. We do this not because we’re afraid of the problematic elements outside of the community that could come into our community, but rather because we’re afraid of those within our own community who have the power to kick us out from under our own umbrella and back into the rain.

So when I think about fandom these days, I imagine this moment of losing community. I imagine the hurtful message sent, the dismissive post on the forum, the hateful tweet, actions that cost nothing when they are directed at creators, fan writers, fan artists. These people exist to create content that is to be consumed. They aren't human. They aren't even real. They're just the producers of content that fandom sucks up like a vacuum cleaner without bothering to engage with the creators except to demand more or demand better. Nothing makes you feel alienated from your community like realizing you only exist to produce for it and when you don't produce to standards, you are attacked.

What's worse is that a lot of folks in fandom don't even think about this these days. There's no risk in blasting off a message or a tweet. But social media is an echo chamber. It’s a hive mind, and it’s a place where people can get hurt, very badly, and very quickly. Social media should not be used as a weapon to badger the people trying to get into positions where they can create change, which is what I feel new fandom has done. But at the same time, new fandom has also become a space where voices can be uplifted, where people can be seen and heard who maybe weren't before.

So TL;DR, I think social media ruined fandom, I have a lot of baggage/trauma from working on a show as fandom was transitioning from old fandom to new fandom, and like... we have to be better to each other.

[firelxdykatara]

gods, ok, apparently i’m not done.

atla fandom? we need to have a chat.

(....ok that made me sound pretentious as fuck. and maybe i am, but this needs to be said, cause i’m getting....real, real tired of a Certain Corner of this fandom and as a result, this is gonna be a discourse-heavy post so feel free to scroll past if that’s not your bag. as always, my salt posts all carry the catch-all #salt for ts tag, which you’re free to blacklist/filter at your leisure. i’m Very Annoyed at the moment, which will probably come through in the following post, so just. yknow. be prepared for that. or ignore it, that’s perfectly valid too.)

under a cut bc i do care for my followers and their sanity i swear lmao

there’s a real serious issue in this fandom with not understanding what queer terminology actually means or implies, especially when applied to a fictional narrative.

i’m specifically talking about ‘coding’, here. (if i were in a more meme-y mood, i might have said ‘the atla fandom found out about the term “gay-coding” and haven’t shut up since’.)

to the people who say ‘zuko is gay-coded’, i have this to say: you keep using that word. i do not think it means what you think it means. because he isn’t. i’m sorry, but he’s not! and the fact that this is such a prevalent claim in this fandom is distressing, bc it says to me that none of y’all know what gay-coding is or when and how to apply it! please, i’m begging you, go and look up these terms and what they mean and when they should be used before actually trying to plug them into your critical analysis, because when you misuse them and then call other people delusional for disagreeing with you it casts a pall over the entire fandom and is, i think, the root of some of the worst toxicity this fandom has to offer.

and the thing is, there are cases where gay-coding would apply--for instance, a couple series that are famous for queerbaiting their audience by coding their main characters as being attracted to one another (sometimes even despite their openly stated sexualities) come to mind, but those shows bare no similarities at all to atla and how zuko was written and portrayed! (and it would be funny, if it weren’t so obnoxious and infuriatingly wide-spread throughout the fandom, because the only queer couple we actually seen on-screen in either show wasn’t even queer-coded in any respect, and they’re canonically bi! [yes, i’m shading korrasami, or more accurately i’m shading bryke for refusing to give ka the build-up and development they deserved].)

this absolutely isn’t to say that headcanoning zuko as gay is a bad thing or invalid in any respect. (although the tendency for zukka shippers to do this specifically to keep zuko away from katara and/or invalidate his canon relationship/attraction to girls is more than a little eyebrow raising. especially since sokka is usually allowed to be bi, bc fans have no problem letting sukka stay in the background bc it’s no real threat, while jetko shippers are happy to have both boys be bi. [possibly bc katara is less a threat to jetko bc jetkotara is every bit as valid as any single ship between the three, but zukka can’t exactly let katara join in, and if the potential exists for zuko to be attracted to her then canon giving them the far deeper emotional bond becomes a threat to zukka’s existence? idk for sure--you be the judge.]) i prefer to hc zuko as bi (and always have, long before the atla renaissance), bc i don’t think zuko being attracted to boys is outside the realm of possibility, and it isn’t a threat to my ship since zuko&katara had a deep and emotional bond in canon that is very easy to develop further into something that becomes explicitly romantic--but the headcanon itself isn’t really the problem (although what it’s often in service to can be).

it’s the strange insistence that this is the only way to read his character, bc he was coded that way and so anyone who doesn’t see it must be too straight to understand--and i really shouldn’t have to say why and how that is so incredibly fucking insulting. (the ‘hetero lenses’ comment wasn’t cute when it came from bryke six years ago, and the same sentiment being repackaged and delivered by zukka shippers ain’t cute now.)

calling zuko gay-coded not only demonstrates ignorance as to what the term actually means, and how to usefully apply it in critical analysis, but also validates the frankly bullshit insertion of institutionalized homophobia in the world of atla where it was neither needed, nor wanted, nor ever hinted at in canon. as a queer woman i’m still infuriated by one fucking comic panel shoving institutionalized and systemic homophobia into a world where it was entirely unnecessary (and doing this in the first installment of the franchise showcasing a queer relationship??? making korra and asami worried about ‘coming out’ when they could have just gone on to have cute adventures together and tell people ‘hey we’re dating’ and have everyone else be ‘that’s awesome =DDD’ [because it is, in fact, possible to just have a world without homophobia i promise!!!!!] double yikes, i’m still pissed at bryke about it), and i doubly hate that ‘zuko is gay coded’ has become so widespread that ‘ozai hates him bc he’s gay’ has become a staple in that part of the fandom.

not only does making zuko gay and implying (or outright stating) that ozai hated and abused him because of it completely undermine zuko’s character arc by making his abuse about his sexuality rather than ozai’s toxic pride and anger at seeing himself reflected in his ‘weak’ son, but it comes very close to outright stating that abuse and trauma are inherently gay experiences, and they aren’t!!! they really aren’t, i promise!!!

abuse and trauma narratives exist outside of ‘my dad hates me because i’m gay’. and, quite frankly, there are MORE THAN ENOUGH queer trauma narratives out in the world. we do not need to start trying to retroactively make them canon in a series where they didn’t exist! if you’re gay and see yourself in zuko and project your own experiences on him, that’s understandable and valid. that does not make zuko gay-coded. and honestly, the insistence that he is makes very little sense to me, because you’re essentially trying to give the show credit for work you put into interpreting the characters! why would you want to do that? why not own your own headcanons and take credit for them, rather than insisting they are canon and everyone else is wrong for not seeing them??? like, i’ve said before that i’ve always headcanoned zuko (and katara) as bi, and even support it with my interpretations of evidence from the show, but the difference between ‘i think zuko is bi’ and ‘zuko is definitely gay-coded’ is that i know that bi zuko is my interpretation of canon, and that it is work i’m putting into the show that wasn’t actually intended by the creators/writers, no matter how much sexual tension i read into the jetko swordfight.

and like, zuko’s character arc doesn’t actually parallel a queer one all that well to begin with. it’s easy enough to do the work and twist it sideways just enough to make the general points fit, but the fact is, zuko’s arc is not one of self-discovery. it’s not one of coming to understand something fundamental about himself that he can’t change, that he was hated for, and coming out to his father in a dramatic confrontation where he shows that he understands himself and doesn’t need his father’s acceptance to be fulfilled.

zuko’s arc is actually one of trauma and healing. and those can (and often are--like i said, there are more than enough queer trauma narratives in the world, atla really doesn’t need to be one of them) be part of queer narratives, for sure! but they aren’t uniquely queer. and zuko’s confrontation with ozai during the eclipse doesn’t read like a ‘coming out’ at all. (yes, i’ve seen that post. yes, i rolled my eyes and moved on, bc unlike some people, i’m capable of not clowning on correctly tagged posts i disagree with.) zuko is specifically confronting ozai over his abuse, because his arc wasn’t about discovering anything fundamental about himself (and therefore realizing that ozai was hating him for something he couldn’t change)--it was about realizing that he was not at fault for the way his father treated him. it was also about realizing that the fire nation was broken and corrupt at its core, and that his father was an aspect of that he needed to break away from so that he could help the world begin to heal.

he says it himself:

Zuko: No, I've learned everything! And I've had to learn it on my own! Growing up, we were taught that the Fire Nation was the greatest civilization in history. And somehow, the War was our way of sharing our greatness with the rest of the world. What an amazing lie that was. The people of the world are terrified by the Fire Nation. They don't see our greatness. They hate us! And we deserve it! We've created an era of fear in the world. And if we don't want the world to destroy itself, we need to replace it with an era of peace and kindness.

making this about zuko being gay and rejecting ozai’s homophobia, rather than zuko learning fundamental truths about the world and about his home and about how there was something deeply wrong with his nation that needed to be fixed in order for the world to heal (and, no, ‘homophobia’ is not the answer to ‘what is wrong with the fire nation’, i’m still fucking pissed at bryke about that), misses the entire point of his character arc. this is the culmination of zuko realizing that he should never have had to earn his father’s love, because that should have been unconditional from the start. this is zuko realizing that he was not at fault for his father’s abuse--that speaking out of turn in a war meeting in no way justified fighting a duel with a child.

is that first realization (that a parent’s love should be unconditional, and if it isn’t, then that is the parent’s fault and not the child’s) something that queer kids in homophobic households/families can relate to? of course it is. but it’s also something that every other abused kid, straight kids and even queer kids who were abused for other reasons before they even knew they were anything other than cishet, can relate to as well. in that respect, it is not a uniquely queer experience, nor is it a uniquely queer story, and zuko not being attracted to girls (which is what a lot of it seems to boil down to, at the end of the day--cutting down zuko’s potential ships so that only zukka and a few far more niche ships are left standing) is not necessary to his character arc. nor does it particularly make sense.

(and before anyone brings up his date with jin--a) he enjoyed it when she kissed him, and b) he was a traumatized, abused child going out on a first date. of course he was fucking awkward. have you ever met a teenage boy????)

anyway, uh, that was a lot of words, so have a tl;dr: zuko is not gay-coded. there is nothing uniquely gay (or even uniquely queer) about his character arc or characterization, and he was certainly not coded gay in an attempt to sneak a queer character past the censors. if anyone involved with atla was gonna try that, it would’ve been in lok, and as established, they didn’t even manage to queer-code the actual queer relationship before the last few minutes of the final episode. headcanoning zuko as gay is absolutely fine (though if it’s only done to keep him away from female characters he may otherwise be attracted to, that smells more like misogyny than anything else), but insisting that this reading is the only one that makes sense, and anyone who doesn’t agree must be straight (hello, queer woman here making this insanely long thinkpiece) is very much not.

ship what you like, but stop trying to invalidate other ships and other interpretations of characters just to make your ship seem more plausible. it’s really not a good look.

[ourloveisforthelovely]

Teenagers Part 5

Harry Potter Marauders Era 

Link to Part 4 

Pairings: Regulus Black x Reader 

Rating: M

____

James stormed out of the Three Broomsticks unsure as to exactly where he was going. Watching Regulus with his tongue down your throat was enough to make James want to puke.

“James, wait up.”

He turned to see Sirius and Remus running after him. James was thankful that the two of his friends had been so supportive throughout the past two months. If James didn’t have Sirius and Remus, he wasn’t for sure what he would have done without having you to turn to. Like he had thought earlier, James knew that it was childish to be treating you in such a way (and he would regret it later) but James needed you to see that he was just trying to protect you.

“Are they still snogging?”

James asked, closing his eyes. Sirius nodded, feeling as equally as grossed out. Out of the three men standing outside of the Three Broomsticks, Sirius was probably the most “okay” with your relationship with Regulus. Sirius was thrilled to see his brother “happy” for a chance. He couldn’t remember the last time that he had seen Regulus smile. Now the boy was smiling all the time.

Sirius had even commented about how nice it was to see his younger brother happy. James had ended that comment with a lewd comment of his own.

He’s happy because my sister is probably sucking his dick.

Both Remus and Sirius only blinked as James started muttering about “why did I make that comment?”

On the other hand, Sirius also understood James' concern about the relationship. Regulus wasn’t the innocent little boy that he used to be. Sirius knew that his brother was so “far in” with the Black family views and Slytherin bullshit, he was afraid that you would be injured in the crosshairs of some stupid thing.

He could only pray that Regulus’ seemingly happy attitude was a sign that he was treating you like the princess that you deserved to be. Regulus was always holding your hand, opening doors for you, and carrying your stuff. Sirius couldn’t help but be proud of how his little brother appeared to be with “his first girlfriend.”

Remus’ tentative voice was the thing that pulled Sirius from his thought and brought him back to the conversation with James.

“They stopped snogging after you left but picked up again when Sirius and I walked out.”

Sirius nodded.

“I don’t think that they realized we were there, honestly. Y/n blushed big time when she saw Remus and I. Regulus was laughing.”

James rolled his eyes.

“Of course the little shit was laughing. He thinks this whole thing is god damn hilarious. The little prick never used to laugh until he hooked up with my sister. Now Regulus thinks that this is some kind of comedy club.”

Before Sirius and Remus could respond, you stepped outside of the pub. Regulus, as usual, had his hand wrapped around yours before leaning down to whisper something in your ear.

“Wonder what the big secret is?”

Sirius questioned as you said something back to Regulus in a hushed tone. James frowned and tried to pick up any clue of the conversation. When Regulus looked over his shoulder before turning back to you with a sly grin, James couldn’t help but roll his eyes. He had rolled his eyes so many times in the past 2 ½ months that he was convinced that his eyes were going to get stuck.

“Is it me or does the love birds look like they don’t want to be followed?”

“That’s exactly how it looks.”

Remus commented. Sirius wiggled his eyebrows.

“Well, life isn’t fair. We can’t always get what we want, can we?”

James was thrilled by his best friend’s comment. Sirius knew exactly what he was thinking before he could even think it.

“Not at all. Let's go.”

(meanwhile)

The cold December air swirled all around you as you walked with Regulus back to school. After realizing that James, Sirius, Remus, and Lily were watching the two of you snog, Regulus suggested taking this “somewhere a little more private.”

“You would think that the lot of them were looking for a cheap peep show. Perverts.”

Regulus muttered as the two of you walked. You didn’t have to look over your shoulder to know that the two of you were being followed.

“I assume that they are looking for more because they are following us. Regulus, don’t start anything. Just keep walking. We will be at the room of requirement soon and those lookie-loos will be out of luck.”

You heard Regulus curse under his breath. Regulus would have loved any excuse to hex the crap out of your brother and you knew it.

“I hope they run face-first into the door and break their noses. You know that I won’t let them live it down.”

Regulus commented, resisting the urge to throw a hex over his shoulder. The only thing stopping him from taking any action was the realization that if Regulus harmed Jame or Sirius, his chances of “getting something” in the room of requirement was going to fall apart.

(meanwhile)

James, Sirius, and Remus remained hot on your trail all the way back to Hogwarts.

“Where are they going?”

Remus questioned as he went up another flight of stairs. Sirius automatically winced. He knew the answer.

“Looks like the room of requirement.”

James frowned. 2 and 2 clicked in his head. He knew exactly what went down in the room of requirement. Hell, he and Lily used it frequently.

“Oh, hell no! They can date if they have to but getting it on...fuck that. Y/n, wait!”

Both Regulus and yourself turned as the door of the room answered. James started running down the hallway to stop you. The last thing that he wanted was for you to make a mistake that you would regret later.

“Don’t go in there and do what I think you are about to do! Don’t do it with him!”

Before you could reply, Regulus pulled you into the room and slammed the door right in James' face. Regulus put a charm on the door so James and his band of friends wouldn’t be able to open it.

Regulus turned to look at you after a moment. You stood with your arms crossed over your chest glaring at the door.

“So, I guess you want to wait?”

You shook your head. The last thing that you were going to do was give your older brother the satisfaction of knowing that he stopped your first time.

“No, we aren’t waiting anymore. We have waited almost three months. That is long enough...a lot longer than James and Lily waited. Sirius and Remus...I don’t even want to go there.”

Regulus winced. The last thing that he wanted to do was think about his brother that way.

“Please. I don’t want to think about it either. Look, I don’t want our first time ruined because we are doing it to spite your stupid brother.”

You turned to your boyfriend and felt sad at the upset expression on Regulus’ face.

“I’m not doing anything to spite my older brother.”

You commented before closing the space between Regulus and yourself. Wrapping one arm around his waist, you gently stroked another hand down his chest. Regulus’ eyes closed as he enjoyed every moment of your hand on his body. The past two months had become some of the most sexually frustrating of his life. Regulus quickly began to realize why Sirius turned into such a hoe at school. After a few heated make outs in the room of requirement, Regulus was desperate to have you under him.

When you said that you weren’t ready, Regulus agreed to wait until you were ready for that next step. That didn’t mean that he had to like it though. Every kiss, every makeout, every little touch that you had to give him simply added to the urge to be with you in more than a PG13 sort of way.

“I’m doing this because I want you. I want my first time to be with you...and I think that you want it just as badly as I do.”

Regulus’ eyes snapped open.

“Yes, I want this. I just want you to be sure...I don't want you to regret it…”

“Reggie, I won’t regret it.”

You answered quickly. Before Regulus could really grasp what you were doing, you started unbuttoning your shirt. He pressed his lips together as your bra came into view.

“Oh, look at that..you are already taking your clothes off.”

“Yes, I think that you should take your clothes off as well…”

You replied, with a suddenly cocky smile. At the moment, you had never been more thankful for the ability to place silencing charms on the room. You were also thrilled that you weren’t able to hear James and Sirius on the other side of the door banging and screaming for you to stop what you were doing.

They lost their chance to have any say in my life the moment that they decided Regulus wasn’t good enough for me...They have to live with what they get…

________

@amelie-black @truly-insatiable @fandomsxxregulus @realgaytrash @spiderxalmighty @jessyballet @knreidy1 @whymyparentscheckmyphone @rubyroscoe1 @acciosiriusblack @bennyberry @hazncalsgal @quuenofblacks @criminalyetminimal @lucasfilms77 @exhsle @brokencasbutt67-writer @authoressskr @fandom-trash-worth-it @summer-novak @hankypranky @shaylybaby2032 @emiwrites3reads @li0nh34rt @tas898 @marichromatic @maggioli-m @untoldshortsofthefandoms @sprnaturallover @stuckinsaudi1 @shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @knight-of-gleefulness @shitfaceddaniel @wontlookaway @mycuddlycorner

[lochsides]

Yellow Metal - cathartic Review

Here’s something I did not expect to be reviewing this week but when Zayn drops a 24 minute rap track, you fall in line. I had to listen to it a couple times through before I could even begin to make sense of my thoughts because my brain sort of malfunctioned. I have never been prouder to be a Zayn fan. He’s such a nuanced songwriter and there is so much to unpack here.

I think this is the most unfiltered version of Zayn that we have ever been exposed to (and possibly will ever be). I am grateful that he said his piece in this because it needed to be said. As a brown woman, I felt so seen by this and I cannot explain what that means to me. Thank you Z, for your unvarnished truth in addressing racism and various forms of discrimination.

I’m doing a short lyrical analysis below the cut, but the TLDR is that this is a fantastic piece of art that deserves to be heard.

I wish he had released this as an EP because that would be easier to review than a single 24 minute song, structurally speaking. So instead, I have picked out some key lyrics, going from top to bottom, that really spoke to me and decided to study the song that way. His lyricism is hard-hitting in this track. It is beyond anything he has ever released before.

“The planet bleeds, the damaged trees. It’s never leaving until we ascend so fuck the fence.” — I have not seen this lyric being talked about in the fandom, because the lyrics that follow this steal the show, rightly so, but I wanted to give this line a moment because it’s important too. To me, this lyric speaks to where Zayn is at with his relationship with the physical world. He’s out on the farm (about which he even goes to say “tell you what I like, farm life and the tractor”) and I believe he’s happy in his space and he feels connected to nature (also see River Road). So it is a poignant and slightly jaded, but valid perspective that he shares on climate change. It’s never leaving until we ascend. The damage human beings have done to the planet won’t be undone until there are no humans left to do damage. It’s a single sentence that says so much about the depth of the climate crisis. I’m doing my PhD on urban air quality so this is something I care really deeply about and I resonated with.

“And until they stop killing colour, it’s fuck the feds.” — Yeah, agreed Zayn. The systemic racism that he calls out here is echoed throughout the song, in equal parts anger and boldness. I love that he isn’t glossing over it with metaphors, which he could easily do and it would be beautiful in a totally different way, but this makes it harder for racists to overlook. There is so much power in calling it like it is.

“Never lose me to fentanyl, scared when I take a Benadryl, keeping it green in general.” — It frustrates me to no end to see Zayn painted as this drug-addicted lazy musician that doesn’t care about his work, because we know how untrue that is. This narrative is tired and simply boring too, and I won’t get into the racist connotations of it when you consider it against his white colleagues who smoke as much as him but that isn’t one of their defining traits in the media.

“I’m racking up excuses while I’m slacking off on work … it was hard work that got me heard” — I love the juxtaposition in this verse. The public/media perception on his career is that Zayn doesn’t put in effort or that he doesn’t want it. This obviously stems from his leaving the band. It goes back to what I was saying before about narrative, when in reality, as Zayn has said on various occasions, he fights to make his own choices. And that doesn’t have to look the way everyone else expects it to (“I beg you, don’t include me. I might write it on my shirt”), he has his own struggles that have helped forge his path, but it is his path that he paved, himself. He works hard to be heard. He has to. It reminds me of something my parents used to tell me when I was younger about being immigrants: you have to work 10 times harder for the same opportunities just because of the colour of your skin or your name on the cv. It’s a harsh truth to grow up with but it was my reality, as it is for most POC.

“This life doesn’t give you no armour, a lot of myself can harm you. I swear on what’s good, that I’m here ‘til they take me. I pray that I’m wrinkled, at least over 80…” — There is something about the simplicity of these lyrics are the messaging that I love. He isn’t trying too hard to sound poetic but he still manages it perfectly.

“All I've been achieving, clocking miles in this region, moving like a legion. Promise that I made to myself, an allegiance. Do you still believe I’m a fool for ever leaving? Staring at the ceiling, can never put a cap on achieving. I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving. // I’ve had about enough of being my own enemy. It’s time I grew up, a long way from 17. Always went against the grain, struggles in my life. Got some things to say when I stand up on the mike.” — This is the only 1D-related lyric I’ll make reference to because this song is about so much more than that. That said though, we cannot overlook Zayn’s experiences in the band because that is part of his story. The tongue-in-cheek of “I’m just here for the rap, then I’m leaving” is hilarious to me. The line about not wanting to be his own enemy anymore and growing up from 17 reminds me of that quote Taylor (Swift) mentioned in Miss Americana about celebrities getting stuck at the age they got famous. I think this verse is similar to that. None of them ever wanted to be in the band and I don’t care what anyone says, Zayn leaving and proving success outside the band gave the rest of them the courage to follow their own solo careers. Sure there was drama surrounding the split but he did it for himself, to tell his stories the way he is now. Whatever else you have to say about him, you cannot deny his authenticity.

“I ain’t dropping this for fame, I need this time, like therapy, it’s just to keep me sane.” — I think this line tells us 2 things, the first being that this song was not leaked. Z knew what he was doing and his twitter likes tell us as much. He didn’t release it for any sort of attention, otherwise it would be widely available on streaming platforms and for purchase. Which leads to my second point, he released this song to get everything he talks about on the track off his chest. Its referenced in other lyrics too, like “now you see where I come from, the world don’t.” This was for whoever cared to listen, not the world. It’s inaccessible for a reason. I love that he threw those lyrics in. It makes the song feel more like a private conversation or listening to a friend rant. It creates a different form of intimacy between himself and his fans.

“Lessons that I’ve learned, I’ve tried teaching to myself. What I’ve learnt from certain people is that they’re better than myself. So I surround myself with real ones, and you feel the plastic melt.” — This one is for anyone that buys into conspiracy theories surrounding Zayn’s personal life. He surrounds himself with real people, real friendships, real connections. I have never bought into the bullshit that he has zero autonomy over his personal life. I love the use of plastic melting as a metaphor for ridding his life of fakeness.

“Feeling trapped. This industry is a cage.” — Zayn is obviously not the first person to say it. Many artists talk about how suffocating the industry is ( which he further comments on in the sung portion: “I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this, no, I don’t wanna be, I don’t wanna be, a part of this”). Fame is such a wild and unnatural concept and the exploitation and politics of the music industry only feed further into it. The industry being a cage makes me think of zoos and how celebrities are animals on display, when they should be free in the wild. I also really like the musical interlude following this part.

“Nobody’s speaking the truth, I’m offended by the State. Look at the state of the news, I’ve decided the argument, reciting my views.” — Zayn toes the line between keeping to himself and speaking out on important issues, sometimes not very well. I am his biggest cheerleader, but I’m not up his ass. There have been many occasions where he could’ve done better. But I cannot fault him for being offended by the State because same, Z, same. I love that he took this song as an opportunity to real speak out, no punches pulled.

“See I’ve been facing the racists from back when I were a kiddie. Born up in 93’. Living in Bradford City, they kicked me out of the school. Said they had a problem with me hitting the kids that would call me p***, still sit in the classroom, chilling. I’m angry now that I’m older cause I see they treat us different. Got me thinking I’m the problem ‘cause they never dealt with these issues.” — See what I meant about no punches pulled. He said that! He said it like that too. There is so much in this verse that I relate to, it hits a little too deep. I grew up as a brown in predominantly white communities where the colour of my skin was the reason I was outcasted. We know when that’s happening, clear as day. The lyric “got me thinking that I’m the problem cause they never dealt with these issues” says it all. I have many racial traumas that I’m dealing with as an adult because the adults around me when I was a child didn’t deal with racism in the classroom. They do treat us different!

“20 years later, I’m still in the same boat. Tryna treat me like my grandpa, say I came up off the boat. Came to tell you what I stand for. Man I think you’re shit, a joke. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? // Pushing my feelings down, you ain’t got it like them. ‘Boy your skin is so light.’ Ok motherfucker, take my name up on a flight. Try to convince immigration that your bloodline’s half white.” — Zayn talking his shit is my new favourite art form. How can I be civil when they got me by the throat? Something that I will always be enraged by is that POC are expected to de-escalate situations of racism. We have to push our feelings down, as Zayn says in the verse, because the institution is against us. All of the institutions are against us. The fact that he takes it a step farther to say that his name makes him a target for racism, even though he is half-white just nails his point home. Also, can we please quit the whole ‘Zayn is white-passing’ bullshit. He alludes to it again later in the song (“asian in my face, but still my race you can’t define”). Its not a compliment to erase someone identity in favour of white-washing them.

“My name ain’t on the list unless they label it ethnic.” — Oh, the amount of times we have heard that age old (v. racist) saying ‘{celebrity of colour} is the new [insert white celebrity here]’ as if POC aren’t allowed to succeed in their own right. It is wild to me that Zayn has to deal with this given his level of success.

“Start to understand why they think that I’m threatening. I move in certain ways, couldn’t slow me with ketamine.” — There is a subtle nod to racism (and Islamaphobia) in this line, because of course the brown man is a threat, but I like the way Z turns it around. I also like the rhyme scheme.

“Raised on the benefit for whose benefit? They’ll never learn shit, man, if the shoe fits.” — Okay I might be reaching here, but this is just my interpretation. We all know the benefit system in the UK sucks. Being raised on benefit implies a lack of money growing up, but the benefits aren’t really all that beneficial to the families that rely upon them.

“Dealing with the hurt, they should know cause they don’t deserve it, it hit deep cause I hit the nerve.” — Well, okay then, just call me out. It’s fine. I seriously feel like he’s talking to me directly with this line. I imagine a lot of us do. Its one of those lyrics that are a bit too honest but that why we love them.

“Cathartic, I’m an artist. Trying to put my heart in” // “Freedom fighter, Yellow Metal is my name.” — So do we have an alternate persona for Zayn now? Alright, I’m down. I think these two lines are tied together, because both are mentioned in the song title. (I think of the song as cathartic, by Yellow Metal, aka Zayn, or Yellow Metal as the name of the EP if this was officially released). The lyrics that accompany both title lyrics, along with the subject matter of the song as a whole, suggest that his heart is in standing up against injustices. I said it earlier, this is the most unvarnished version of Z that we have ever been exposed to. Almost like the complete picture to the puzzle pieces we’ve been putting together over the years.

“They’re tryna kill us with disease.” — Why did this line scream out ‘COVID-19 outbreaks in developing countries’ to me? Again, I might be reaching, but there is a disparity between how COVID is treated amongst minorities, along with many other diseases, and not to mention rich, primarily white countries hoarding vaccine supplies while places like India (and my beautiful Bangladesh and I’m sure Pakistan too) suffer needlessly.

“Started something sick and on my mind is what’s next. Just became a dad so now I’m taking all the cheques. Better know I’m staying and paying like it’s debt. Imma get it done, if it’s taking all my breath, sweat, and down I ain’t messing around ’til I’m the best.” — I think this lyric shows off Zayn’s sentimental side more than it does his ambitious side, because we know he’s in this for the long haul. Others may doubt that but his fans never have. But hearing him talk openly about being a father on a song is something else. It’s like Khai added this whole other layer of meaning and purpose to his life and it’s beautiful to watch. I’ve been here since the X-Factor auditions guys!! It makes me so emotional to witness him like this.

“Aint many of me around, p***, I’m just different. Certain stages to this level aint here because fame is to the devil, fuck a label, imma do this from the ghetto.” — God, we’ve been waiting for a fuck the label moment in this house, haven’t we? I won’t get into my theories on his label or his team, but none of us deny the fact that they should be doing more for him than they are. He has the potential to be the biggest thing with the right team and promo because he has a built-in fan base that would go the mile for him. Obviously, there’s also his aversion to promo to contend with and that’s his decision. Even without it, he could shatter every ceiling. Another thing I want to mention about this verse is the nod to the complete lack of South Asian representation in contemporary Western media.

“Don’t know what’s worse: the way that you live your life or the way that you write a verse.” — I’m just putting this in here because it made giggle. Also going to take this space to say how much I love his energy in this song. He knows he’s the shit, as he should!

“Can’t be louder … so free Gaza on my banner.” // “They’re hating on Palestine ways.” — I love that Zayn has always supported this movement, years ago, before being ‘woke’ was a thing. But now, he has a daughter that has Palestinian heritage and I’m sure that makes this hit that much deeper for him, personally. The apartheid in Palestine is heart-wrenching. It’s so strange to me to watch it happen, because I never thought I would witness something like this happening in 2021, yet here we are.

“Like vipers, I see the sly ones, the snake that’s called Biden, none of them abiding what they might put in writing. We should be used to it by now, say whatever for the vote and then just choose another route. Say they’d never kill another unless that brother’s skin is brown. I’m just telling you the facts, if you can’t take it, the truth naked, to bare bones and my thoughts lately, spitting politics.” — This verse is straight up savage and I am living for it! I find it hilarious that he called Biden a snake. This verse addresses the truth about politics, that even electing a left-wing leader doesn’t fix the system.

“I’m Tony Stark, still embarking on a dream” // “Gone green like Bruce Banner” // “He taught me like Ra’s Al Ghul. Felt like living in Gotham, the people were rotten.” — And to tie it all off, I wanted to take a goofy moment to mention all the superhero lyrics Z added in this song, really showing his personality because I’m such a nerd when it comes to this stuff and it makes me wish that we were friends so I could annoy him to death about it.

[strawbeebo]

~♡ Winter Warmth ♡~

Fandom: Jujutsu Kaisen

Pairing: Megumi Fushiguro x Reader

Warnings: None

Words: 2.1K

Genre: Fluff

“You didn’t bring a scarf. Or a hat. Or anything.”

Your current ‘mission’ partner’s characteristically irritated tone broke you out of your current daze as you shifted your eyes towards him as the two of you walked side by side, close enough that it was clear the two of you were at least friends, but not so close that things were…weird.

“Oh, no..” You hummed, a puff of steam escaping with your words and just as soon evaporating into the cold winter air. “To be honest I didn’t think it would be this cold. Oh- but it’s not that bad, no worries.”

He looked at you for a second before shrugging and facing forward once again, the previous silence between the two of you settling back in as your eyes drifted back to your right where rows and rows of shop windows twinkled with Christmas lights and other inviting decorations.

See, the so called ‘mission’ the two of you had been sent on wasn’t really a mission at all, it was more like an errand to satisfy everyone back at school’s ‘urgent’ need for a variety of coffees, hot chocolate’s, and tea lattes, which didn’t sound like much, however your oh so gracious sensei insisted you go to this very specific cafe that was about a half an hour walk away instead of the one that was barely a ten minute walk away. Fushiguro seemed particularly annoyed with that, but then again, when wasn’t he annoyed by one thing or another.

The only thing was that you assumed he was bothered because Gojō had made yet another needlessly difficult request of him, however while he was annoyed with Gojō , that wasn’t exactly the reason why. The reason he was particularly peeved was because his teacher said the two of you just haaad to go together. “It’s safer that way.” , he said “Treat it like a mission!”, he said.

Bullshit.

Gojō was testing him on something even he didn’t want to think about, let alone admit to. Fushiguro told him one thing, ONE THING about you, just an off handed comment on how much you had improved using your cursed technique in such a short amount of time, and that’s all it took for Gojō to give him that fucking look. At least, Fushiguro thought it was only one thing, but the more Gojō started making little comments about the two of them, about how he thinks they’d be sooo cute together, he realized that maybe he had been unconsciously talking about you more than he thought. That was true too, but he wasn’t one for much talk and the little that he did say wasn’t enough to tip Gojō or anyone else off about his apparent interest in you. As it turns out, the phrase ‘actions speak louder than words’ is true, and that’s especially so for someone as observant as Gojō is.

He saw all the little things that most people probably didn’t have a second thought about, but he had known Megumi for a long time now so to him, his actions were clear as day. The little touches on your shoulder to gently move you out of the way, the way he would tend to gravitate towards you whenever all of you first years were on missions together, how distracted he’d be if you had a bit of a hard time fighting off a curse. Gojō could go on and on about the tiny ways Megumi treated you better, with more care, than anyone else, but he chose not to pester him too aggressively. He knew if he did that, Megumi would shut him down just as aggressively and dig deeper into the denial about his feelings for you. So instead, Gojō pushed him in little ways, like teaming you two together for training practices and in this case, sending you out together to get drinks.

Megumi knew that of course, that Gojō was messing with him, but man was it hard to say no when your face lit up and you exclaimed that you could actually go for a hot chocolate. So now here you were, walking side by side in silence that was currently doing nothing but make him overthink. Should he say something? Would that be weird? Or were you off put by the fact that he wasn’t saying anything? All the while he had that usual grumpy look on his face that was really just one of concentration, but you didn’t take it to heart regardless. You had known him long enough now to know that even when he did look upset, he kind of just had a resting grumpy face and it didn’t necessarily mean anything. Still, you would admit that you were feeling a bit awkward.

You liked Fushiguro, maybe a tad bit more than what you admitted to your other friends, but while the two of you were friendly and worked just fine together, you had never really spent time alone with one another outside of school, and as you walked through the slightly crowded sidewalks you realized you didn’t really know how he felt about you. Sure you were associates and classmates, but did he see you in that way? Did he only tolerate you? Or maybe he was just indifferent, not thinking of you as much more or much less than someone he worked along side. Even though you didn’t have any answers to said questions, you couldn’t say you were nervous to be out with him. In fact it was kind of nice, even if you weren’t talking much, and you were okay with settling and just internally gushing about it to yourself. So you kept to yourself with a slight smile on your face, stopping for a second here or there when something in one of the shop windows caught your eye or to press your cold hands to your mouth and blow warm air onto them.

You had said you were fine, but the temperature seemed to keep dropping, and when you felt a small damp prickle of iciness on your nose you realized why. That one snowflake slowly turned to many as snow began to fall steadily from the sky, catching on your hair and jacket but melting as soon as it came in contact with your cheeks.

“Pfft, no wonder it’s gotten so cold. I seriously thought we weren’t going to get any snow until later on in the season, right?” You asked, turning to him with a laugh as you rubbed your arms as if that would do much to help through your coat.

“Guess not.”, he said with another shrug. “Doesn’t look like it’ll stick though, we should be fine.”

He peered out of the corner of his eye at you, watching as you shoved your hands into your pockets and gave him a nod before looking up as you walked to watch the snow fall in a childlike awe. Something ticked in him, another one of those little irritating itches that he would get whenever you would do something like that. Something so simple, yet he couldn’t bring himself to look away. That, and the irrational part of him that was currently screaming at him to do something stupid, an internal voice that was getting louder and louder with every fall of a snowflake and shiver of your shoulders until finally he just had to give in.

He let out an annoyed huff, not at you but at the fact that he felt so stupid and absurdly flustered as he unwrapped his scarf and took his gloves off, temporarily shoving them into one pocket as he stopped to lean over and wrap his scarf snuggly around your neck instead. You jumped a little in surprise as you tore your eyes from the sky and gave him a quizzical look, but before you could say anything a pair of gloves that were a little too big for you were shoved into your hands as well.

“Oh, thank you but I’m really-“

“It’s fine.” He cut you off, but not in a mean way. You noticed the hint of pink on his cheeks, but surely that was due to the cold, right? He sighed again in an attempt to make himself feel a little less tense as he continued on in a more relaxed tone. “Seriously, I was getting too warm anyways.”

Now you really couldn’t help but smile as you gave him a small nod before slipping on both gloves. They were too big just like you thought, but warm, and the fuzziness bristling in your stomach seemed to help warm you up as well. You absent mindedly tugged his scarf a little closer around you as the the two of you began to walk again, and your own cheeks began to heat up a bit as you inhaled his scent. Though you couldn’t really pinpoint what it was, it was like a little not-so-gentle reminder that he really did just give you his scarf and gloves to wear. You tried not to let it get to you, he was just being nice and he said he was too warm anyways, but you still had to bite your inner cheek to keep yourself from smiling too wildly and risk him thinking you’re a total creep.

“Thanks Megumi, I appreciate it.”

Oh god no.

He thought he had steeled himself but that caused him to stop in his tracks, only for a moment or two, before his body went into self preservation mode and moved on its own, but the way his heart skipped a beat in response to something as dumb as you calling him by his first name for the first time was everything but calm and collected. Still, as much as he tried to keep even an ounce of what he was really feeling from showing on his features, it only took that little halt in his step for you to realize what you just said.

“Oh, shit- I’m sorry. That’s probably kind of weird for me to call you.”

“It’s fine.” He repeated the same words he had said only a few minutes ago, only this time he didn’t sound nearly as confident. Whatever was going on in his chest was not, in fact, fine, but what was he supposed to say? ‘You treating me like I’m a close friend seriously fucks with my doubts of having a thing for you’? For heaven’s sake he could take out a literal murderous demon in the blink of an eye but god forbid he try to keep his normally cool composure in front of who he now had to admit was his crush.

“If it really isn’t fine you don’t have to act like it is.” You laughed out awkwardly, still having trouble trying to read his features.

He hated seeing that bit of doubt and worry in your eyes, enough so that he shoved what he was feeling down even if it was just long enough for him to give some reassurance that you referring to him so casually was actually more than just ‘fine’.

“I’m not ‘acting’. If it really bothered me I would say something about it. Trust me, I’ve gotten good at telling people off…” He grumbled, his mood slightly souring at the mere thought of what Gojō would do if he could see him now, with color tinting his cheeks and his brain scrambling for the right words to say which, judging by the short laugh you gave that was simply music to his ears, he had successfully done.

“True, true. Guess I’ll just have to stay on your good side then, yeah? Dunno if I could take it if you were actually mad at me.”

He scoffed and muttered in response as he trudged ahead of you.

“As if you would ever be on my bad side…”

“Hm?”

“I said ‘can we hurry up before it gets worse outside’. If we take much longer Gojō is going to start blowing up my phone.”

You laughed and then smiled in a way that you could only imagine looked incredibly goofy as you stared at his back while he continued walking ahead of you, maybe just a tiny bit giddy that he was ok with you being a little more personal and less formal with him. Surely that meant the two of you were friends, right? Or maybe he could think of you as something more some day…

“Are you coming with?”

“Yeah, yeah!” You exclaimed, shaking your head and leaving those thoughts for another time in order to allow yourself to enjoy this moment as it was, warmed in the face of the winter chill by a cozy set of winter clothes and a fuzzy feeling in your heart.

[classysassy9791]

Drinking is not a bad thing after a break up. In fact, it's a damn good coping mechanism for Kagome Higurashi, especially at the bar with other heartbroken patrons. A guy buys her a drink, and then two, and then things get a little out of hand.

Fandom: Inuyasha Genre: Romance/Humor Pairing: InuKag Rating: T

Originally written for INUKAG Week on tumblr circa 2016 Day 4: AU Part 1 Word Count: 2,400

Can also be found here

.

.

.

Breakups were never an easy thing. They were messy, full of tears and angry outbursts, and the awkward encounters afterward were definitely something to avoid. Really, it made her wonder why anyone would choose to stop being single.

Kagome Higurashi grasped the strap of her purse tighter as she stormed into the local pub. The music was loud as the bass pounded through the speakers, reverberating through her chest and drowning out the sad thoughts in her head.

Screw men and their idiocy. She really should stop dating all together, and maybe she would. After all, she had her own place, an amazing career, and her cat Buyo to come home to every night. Who needed the male population anyways?

She leaned on the bar, her obsidian hair lying over one shoulder of her black, sequined dress. She tilted her head to one side, pushing out her red lips just a little. The bartender was there to take her order in a flash, eyes dropping momentarily to her low-cut neckline.

“What can I get for you, beautiful?” he asked, flashing a wolfish grin.

“Margarita on the rocks with salt,” she answered with a sweet smile, nibbling on her lower lip seductively.

His eyes were the blue of water so deep that she was afraid to jump in, but she was still tempted to. “Coming right up,” he replied with a wink, before making his way to the other end of the bar.

Kagome watched him fetch her drink as she slid onto a stool. His black shirt was tight, revealing his chiseled chest and toned abs. His face was above average with those eyes and tanned skin. Perhaps she would come back for him later, after they closed, and invite him home. It was perfectly acceptable, wasn’t it?

As soon as the thought came to mind, she immediately rolled her eyes and dismissed it. Why would she even think such a thing? She was not about to be one of those heartbroken girls who found comfort in the arms of another man as he screwed her senseless. That wasn’t her style, and she certainly wasn’t going to stoop so low now.

“Here you are,” the bartender returned, handing her a cocktail glass filled to the brim with tequila and lime.

She appeared pleased as she sipped it gingerly, relishing in the cool sour taste against her lips. “You have a nice touch,” she commented wryly.

He leaned against the bar. “So I’ve been told,” he said, his eyes dipping to glance at her low cut top again. “What brings you in tonight?”

Kagome sighed. This is not what she wanted. She didn’t come to the bar to talk about her problems. She came to get drunk, maybe smack lips with a guy, and then leave feeling a little fuzzy. “Just needed a drink,” she asserted, taking another taste, attempting to show her disinterest.

Unfortunately, he didn’t get the hint.

“Is that all you needed?” he questioned, his voice low and seductive.

She frowned, not in the mood to deal with forward guys like him. Especially not so soon into her evening. She would definitely need a few more drinks in her before she even considered him. A range of words were perched on the tip of her tongue, hell bent on putting him in his place, but someone else beat her to it.

“Hey, flea bag,” a man said, stealing the stool beside her. “Get me a whiskey sour.”

The bartender narrowed his eyes and shot him an annoyed look. “Back again, Inutrasha?” he scowled.

“Do you want your tips tonight or not?” said man growled with furrowed brows.

Rolling his eyes, “fleabag” moved away to grab his order. Kagome smiled behind her glass as she took another sip. She glanced at the man beside her out of the corner of her eye. He was tall, with startling silver hair and luminous amber eyes. Definitely not like the men she was used to being with, and he clearly wasn’t someone to be looked over easily. His stand-out features made sure of that.

“Take a picture, it’ll last longer,” he grumbled.

Caught off guard, Kagome’s eyes widened as she placed her glass back down on the countertop. “Excuse me?”

“It’s rude to stare.”

Her lips pulled into a frown. “Well, aren’t you just a ball of sunshine.”

The bartender returned with his patron’s drink and slid it in front of him. “Inuyasha is the furthest thing from sunshine,” he announced with a chuckle.

Said man glowered at him. “Don’t get me started,” he warned, curling his hand around his whiskey sour. “I’m not in the mood today.”

“When are you ever in the mood?” he barbed, leaning his hands against the top of the bar.

Taking a large gulp of alcohol, Inuyasha slammed his glass down and abruptly stood. “You wanna take this outside, Kouga?”

“It’ll be my pleasure.” He shot him a sadistic grin.

Kagome glanced wide-eyed between them before grasping onto the silver-haired stranger’s arm. “Hold on,” she intervened, stepping between them. “Come on boys, its early. Can’t this wait until later?”

“Keh,” Inuyasha sneered, shrugging off her hand. “If you don’t want to get involved, go get drunk somewhere else, wench.”

All attraction Kagome had felt for the man moments earlier immediately vanished. She was not a stranger to name-calling, but she would be damned if she took it from some pretentious jerk she just met.

“Who the heck do you think you are?” she demanded, folding her arms over her chest.

Amber eyes glanced toward her with disinterest. “What’s your problem?”

Her blood boiled. “You can’t just come waltzing in here, start a fight, and treat a woman like crap. It’s men like you who disgust me.”

Inuyasha knitted his brows and turned toward her fully. “Listen, lady,” he began, clenching his hands into fists. “I’ve had a rough fucking day and I’m not in the mood to deal with your whiney bullshit. So if you don’t mind, go get drunk somewhere else, you floozy.”

That did it. Before Kagome even knew what had happened, her hand came up at an alarming speed and made contact with his cheek. His eyes turned wide as she stood there, her arm still raised, glowering at him with eyes full of absolute hate.

“Holy shit,” Kouga breathed, his piercing blue eyes glancing between the two. That had quickly gone from bad to worse.

Inuyasha brought a hand to his face, his cheek still resonating with heat from where she had smacked him. After getting over the initial shock, he glared at her. This chick had some nerve. Never in all his life had he met someone so infuriating!

“What the fuck—“

“Kouga!”

The bartender turned at the sound of his name to see a red-headed woman storming through the crowd. He visibly paled. This was bad. This was really freakin’ bad. If the manager saw a fight in the bar so soon into the evening, there was be hell to pay.

As the realization of what she had done sunk in, Kagome began to wither under Inuyasha’s intense gaze. Where in the world had that come from? She was not a violent person. She wouldn’t hurt a fly! And yet, she had smacked some stranger in a bar for simply having a dirty mouth. Oh. Oh no.

Heat crept up her neck and flushed her cheeks, but she was just as stubborn as she was kind. She bit the inside of her cheek to steel her nerves. “Look,” she began, hoping to ward off his impending fury. “I didn’t mean—“

“Quiet, you two!” Kouga hissed, leaning over the bar. “Sit down and look like you’re having a good time!”

Kagome had no time to object as Kouga forcefully pulled both her and Inuyasha back onto their stools. He pushed their glasses toward them eagerly, his eyes glancing fearfully between them and the crowd. Curiosity got the better of her embarrassment, and Kagome found herself searching the mass of people behind her.

“What is it, Kouga?” she dared to ask, momentarily forgetting the silver-haired idiot sitting beside her.

The bartender gulped, nervously cleaning a glass. “Ayame’s here,” he grumbled with wide eyes, as if that alone would mean anything to her.

Before she could ask any more questions, a fiery red-headed woman pushed between her and Inuyasha. “Kouga,” she said sternly, leaving no room to question her authority. “Didn’t I tell you to restock the bar inventory before nine o’clock?”

“I thought you told Hakkaku to do it?” he prodded.

Kagome could see he was racking his brain for a way out of this one. Apparently, he was afraid of Ayame’s temper, and she could see why.

The bar manager narrowed her green eyes at him. “Hakkaku isn’t working tonight,” she snapped. She leaned forward threateningly. “It better be stocked in thirty minutes. Otherwise, it’s your job.”

She turned on her heel and left as quickly as she had come, leaving a shaking bartender in her wake. Kagome turned hesitant eyes to Kouga. “Are you all right?” she asked.

He blushed and scowled. “Damn that Ayame,” he grumbled hotly. He set down the glass and began walking to the other end of the bar, mumbling, “I’ll be right back,” over his shoulder.

“That was a little harsh,” Kagome muttered, turning her attention back to her drink. Tonight was definitely bizarre to say the least. All she wanted to do was drink until she could forget what had happened earlier that day, but already she had run into a flirtatious bartender, an arrogant brute, and a hot headed manager.

“It’s his own fault,” Inuyasha piped up beside her.

Kagome startled, almost forgetting he was there. “Come again?”

He nonchalantly took a sip of his drink. “If he did what he was supposed to, Ayame wouldn’t be hounding him. But he’s lazy and would rather flirt with girls than do his job.”

“Isn’t that part of his job?” she pointed out. “I mean, girls tend to leave better tips for a man who gives them attention.”

He gave her a sideways glance. “Is that what you’re gonna do?”

Realizing the implications behind his words, warmth flushed her cheeks as she frowned. “No,” she denied. “I’m not that kind of girl.”

Inuyasha smirked. “That’s hard to believe.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she quipped, her blood beginning to boil.

“A single girl sitting alone at the bar on a Friday night?” He shrugged. “Doesn’t exactly scream purity.”

She glared daggers and clenched her hands tightly into fists. “I’ll have you know that I’m simply having a bad day and needed a drink,” she spat out through clenched teeth. “I plan on going home with a nice buzz. Alone.”

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that, darling.”

Kagome faltered from the nickname. Well, she supposed it was an upgrade from ‘wench’. “All right, jerk-face, what are you doing here?” she questioned hotly. “A man sitting alone at the bar on a Friday night? I don’t see any pure intentions there.”

“Didn’t say I had any,” he reminded.

She rolled her eyes. “Sheesh. Not even a saint could be patient with you.”

“You wouldn’t know, would you?”

That was it! That was the last straw! Forget her simple night out. Inuyasha had completely ruined it. She had been talked down to a fair share already today and she would be damned if she sat here another moment being spoken to like that.

“You’re a jerk,” she snapped. “There is absolutely no hiding that. Apparently a girl can’t even enjoy a drink around you! No wonder you’re here alone!”

Kagome suddenly stood, grabbed her purse, and threw a few dollars onto the granite top for her drink. She was ready to storm out of the bar, Inuyasha be damned, but a hand on her wrist stopped her.

“Woah, hold up,” he called.

“Let go of me!” she demanded, pulling on his grip insistently.

Intense amber eyes met her gaze, causing her heart to leap into her throat. “Sit down,” he insisted.

“No way!” she sassed back. “I couldn’t stand another minute in your presence.”

He exhaled deeply and slowly released her. “Look, I’m sorry,” he grumbled, averting his gaze. “I’m just in a bad mood. Didn’t mean to take it out on you.”

His words shocked her. So far, Inuyasha had been brash, rude, and inconsiderate. Taunts and barbs she expected. She did not foresee his eyes becoming soft and the sharp tone of his voice changing to a gentle manner. This was unanticipated.

She eyed him warily. “Everyone has bad days.”

“Keh,” he scoffed, turning his attention back to the bar. “At least let me buy you a drink.”

Kagome sighed and hesitantly returned to her stool. “I guess I can’t turn that down.”

He raised his hand to grab Kouga’s attention. As soon as he was within earshot, Inuyasha ordered a cranberry vodka.

“What?” Kagome asked with a raised brow.

Inuyasha’s eyes questioned her. “What’s the problem?”

She shook her head. “I don’t want some girlie drink,” she pointed out. “If I’m getting a free drink out of all of this, it’s going to be something I like.”

He frowned. “What the hell do you want then?”

“I’ll have what you’re having,” she replied, noticing his empty glass.

Smirking, as he was sure this woman was going to regret her decision, Inuyasha turned his attention back to Kouga. “Two shots of your finest whiskey,” he ordered.

“Make mine a double,” he heard Kagome speak up from beside him.

Inuyasha felt his jaw drop open slightly and he studied her. “A double?” he parroted, leaning his arm against the bar top.

“Yes, a double,” she confirmed with a nod.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Are you planning on hitting the floor tonight?”

Her eyes scrutinized him, fearless and full of a fiery spirit. She was not backing down. “I can handle my liquor,” she assured confidently.

Inuyasha’s eyes dipped to examine her body. She was a tiny little thing. Couldn’t have weighed more than one-twenty soaking wet. And she thought she could keep up with him? He smirked. This was going to be fun.

“Whatever you say, wench.”

She finished off her margarita and scowled. “My name is Kagome,” she addressed him. “So you can stop calling me that.”

“Sure thing,” he said, leaning toward her. “Wench.”

This was going to be very fun indeed.

[tickle-bugs]

I had two people ask for some advice on starting up/running a blog, so I thought I’d make a little post for anyone else looking for advice! There’s no one right way to run a blog and I am by no means an expert. This is just a compilation of some of the things I’ve learned :) 

Feel free to add advice to this!

- The first thing is something I cannot stress enough. Write for yourself first. You will be absolutely miserable if you’re only writing for attention. I’m not saying it’s easy, but it’s so incredibly important. If you don’t like a prompt, fandom, or scenario? You don’t have to write for it! A personal example: I’m a theatre kid and total musical nerd. I could probably write some compelling Dear Evan Hansen or Hamilton headcanons if I wanted to, but I don’t. That’s fine! I’m allowed to say I won’t write for it and deny prompts/requests for those fandoms. 

- Set boundaries. This is a very mixed community with all sorts of creators and participants with hands in different baskets. Don’t want minors to interact? Put minors DNI in your bio. SFW only? Put it in the bio. No RP? Bio. This goes for private conversations/askbox/other interactions as well. If someone comes into your askbox/dms and says something that makes you uncomfy, shut it down. 

- My advice is more geared towards writing than art or video, but I suppose you could apply this advice as well. Make what makes you happy! If you’re only in one fandom, feel free to stay there and make content for it. Multi-fandom? Excellent! Completely non-fandom? Epic! Make the content that you want to see and the content that makes you happy to create, especially if you’re in a more niche fandom/area. 

- Organization. ...I’ll admit this one is more of a personal pet peeve than something urgent, but it is something that people positively respond to. If you have some sort of consistency/organization to your blog, it’ll make it easier and more enjoyable for people to navigate. Make a fandom list/indicate your fandoms somehow (mostly for prompt purposes. people can’t read your mind, so it’s important to tell them what you will write for and what you won’t, however you want to do that)! 

Make a masterpost/link your fic tag! Use a fic tag of some kind. Give your fics summaries and leave a little bit of the fic above the ‘read more’ to intrigue folks (look at #my fics and my masterpost for basic examples of how I do this, if you need!). Use read mores. Please use read mores (if you can, idk if they’re on mobile. regardless no one wants to encounter a three thousand word block of text on their dash). (No seriously though, organize your blog, even if it’s super simple. literally just a ‘mine’ or ‘my fics’ or ‘[pseud] writes’ and a fandom tag. It’ll make it easier for people to find your stuff and support you)

- Practice general internetiquette. Please remember that the people in this community are real people with feelings, boundaries, and lives outside of the blog that they run. Be genuine and people will respond to you! Don’t manipulate people into likes/reblogs/attention. No one wants to be on the other end of that. Being in this community isn’t a transaction or a mosh pit, it’s an experience.  

- Be ever-so-liberal with the block button. Someone’s user makes you uncomfortable? They give you bad vibes? They’re a minor/older than you and you don’t want them interacting with your content? You don’t wanna see their blog for some reason? Block em. This goes for anons too. That’s what the button is for. Don’t feel guilty for using it. Use it. 

- How you write is 100% a personal choice and not really something that I can give advice on, but embrace your style! take prompts if you want, or don’t. Write oneshots, series, drabbles, or novels. Write romantic, or don’t. Etc. Change things up if you feel like it. Do what you want. Your blog, your style, your rules. 

- Numbers matter. Don’t let them define you. This is a bit of a harder one to explain, but I will try. I often say that I don’t care about numbers, and I really don’t, but that’s not to say that I don’t see them and they have zero effect on me. I absolutely notice and am bummed if a fic doesn’t get notes, or at least the notes that I was expecting. That is entirely normal and okay to experience. What isn’t okay, though, is creating for the sake of getting notes/numbers/attention (re: write for yourself first, internetiquette). If you find yourself relying on tumblr for gratification and a reward, I implore you to take a break. I’m not your therapist or your parent, I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but when you make things only for the sake of notes, people notice. Celebrate your milestones. Know that it’s okay to be bummed about low notes/celebrate getting plenty. Just make sure that you don’t depend on the numbers for your happiness, or you will be miserable.

- You’re (probably) doing this for free. You are providing people content: a service. Produce as much or as little as you’re comfy with, but always remember that. No one is entitled to what you make. If someone asks you for headcanons, sends a prompt when prompts are closed, etc, and you don’t feel like fulfilling it? You have no obligation to do that. Getting commissioned is another story entirely, but as long as you’re making free content, you have zero obligation to do anything for anyone and certainly no time constraints. It can take me months to finish prompts, and that’s okay. I do them when I do them and I fill them how I want to. If my prompts are closed, I deny new ones until I’m ready to accept them. Make yourself happy first.

- How you interact with others is up to you! It’s generally considered good practice to like/reblog your mutuals fics/art, but this is not necessarily a hard and fast rule. I veeeeeery rarely reblog fics for fandoms that I’m not in, even from my mutuals. What you can do to show your support (and you should try and show support somehow. No one is in competition. Everyone’s in your boat, whether they have no followers or 1k) is send an ask/reply to the post/leave tags to let the author know you liked it. Like the fic and don’t reblog it, if you don’t want to. Just make sure you show your mutuals (and others in general!) roughly the same support they show you, however you decide to do that. Treat others how you want to be treated, as cheesy as it sounds :)

- Don’t repost content that isn’t yours without express permission from the original creator, and credit them appropriately. If you see a cute piece of tickle art and the artist doesn’t want it reposted? Don’t repost it. Don’t post fics/videos/gifs that aren’t yours (obviously if it’s like a scene from a movie/a clip on youtube that’s different, but don’t take credit for things you didn’t make, including ideas). Can’t tell you how frustrating it is to have work stolen from you. Don’t be that person. ‘Credit to original artist’ and ‘credit unknown’ is total bullshit btw. Link/tag the creator in the original post and make it clear you don’t own the content. Best practice is to ask the original creator if they’re okay with reposting, work inspired by or connected to theirs, etc. This goes doubly for saving/downloading someone’s fics. 

- It is not illegal for a minor to have normal, nonsexual, healthy friendships with people older than them. There’s a weird attitude that minors have nothing of value to offer adults besides a relationship/sex, which is...not true? Minors are thinking, living human beings with feelings, thoughts, and opinions. You can talk to them like normal people, because they are. Just obviously don’t talk about/introduce sex or endanger them. Minors don’t bring up sex/activities you’re underage for with an adult. IDK this isn’t a seminar just...don’t be weird. Adults can offer great life experience, support systems, and the basic joys and needs of human connection. Minors can too. Mind your business unless someone’s actually in danger. The next point is a caveat, though: 

- If you’re a minor, don’t interact with NSFW blogs/blogs with ‘Minors DNI’, NSFW blogs don’t interact with minors, etc etc. Not your parent or whatever but this is pretty common sense and it’s for everyone’s safety, but especially the NSFW person. internettiquette!

- If you use your TK blog as a side blog (meaning you have another blog as your main blog, not two separate accounts) and don’t want your main exposed, that is up to you. I recommend not liking posts. Also, follow people that you trust. These actions route through your main blog and your main will show up in the notes. You can reblog from a sideblog. If you want to send an ask “as your tk blog”, send an anon and sign it somehow, like ‘hey :) // @/tickle-bugs’. It should tag you in the post so you get a notification when it’s answered!

- Find your people! As an anxious person this one has been hard for me, so I know it’s hard for a lot of people. Fandom is literally a community of shared interest. Peachy and I have an iron bond almost two years later and we met talking over shared interests. You can absolutely find your people here. If someone makes you happy, strike up a conversation! Send an ask! You never know what doors it might open or whose day you might improve :)

- If you were an anon/lurker on someone’s blog and they inspired you to write/submit/start your own, sign your messages!! the common form that I see is either an emoji or [noun/context of the ask]!anon (prodigal!anon (i miss u every day), butterfly!anon, etc.) Let us know how to find and support you!! Those messages produce good brain juice. 

- The big finale: Have fun. If you’re not having fun here, maybe you could tweak something to make things enjoyable. Running a blog is like driving a car. Keep your hands on the wheel, respectfully indicate your intentions (flashing lights optional), and be safe. Poebody’s nerfect, y’know. If you make a mistake, course correct. I’m by no means perfect. Your favs aren’t either. Just do your best and have a good time :)

@rosytickles and the anon in my inbox, I hope this helps! Thank you for asking me, I’m very honored that you value my opinon/experience/advice. I apologize if I come off as preachy or aggressive, I envisioned grabbing my younger self by the lapels and shaking me vigorously while I wrote this. Probably a bad idea. 

Anywho, hope it helps. Anyone with questions, additions, or comments, my askbox is open! Just be constructive, is all I ask. 

[feckin-zicons]

that's why i hate larries, i hate them with all my heart. besides being boring they are hypocrites 🙄

Hey nonnie, sorry its taken me so long to reply but if you’re following me you know I’ve been travelling lately and have been more scatterbrained than usual. Not that I’m ever not scatterbrained, but its been just a little crazier than usual!

Now I wouldn’t go as far to say I hate Larries. After all their delusions can be pretty funny sometimes!

Joking aside, I don’t hate Larries, I love Larries, I’m a Larry, so I really hesitate to tarry the whole group with the same brush. However I do strongly agree with you that there are those who are complete hypocrites. Nothing annoys more more than when Larries ™ treat the other boys, other celebrities, their friends and even family as one more side character to the Larry Show.

In particular when Larries ™ flood comment sections asking or in some cases, ordering people to confirm rumors/the couple being together. The absolute fucking disrespect. Not just because they’re flooding comment sections in videos streams, tweets, what have you, that sometimes have nothing to do with the couple in question, but because its presumptuous and rude as fuck to think they’re owed a coming out- just because they’re fans of the boys.

Stop it. Thats fucking ugly as hell.

While I have no doubt all the boys will one day be out (as referenced by their continued efforts in fighting the closet. I don’t get the sense the boys will just stop at being freed from their contractual obligations). It should and will be on their own terms. Provided they’re not forcibly outed some other way.

Coming out is a deeply personal experience and no one, no one ever, has the right to out someone else. I’ll never not be absolutely furious at the Larries ™ who posted about having ‘receipts’ that would out the boys. Which… tbh weren’t receipts at all but thats a whole other story. I’m also still angry at the reactions after Liams Attitude spread that wouldn’t have been as bad if not for the entitled fandom that peddled ridiculous claims beforehand about Liam confirming Larry to be real.

I mean… What the actual fuck. Setting aside the fandom experience of the time, and boy was it an experience. What right would Liam have confirming Louis and Harry’s relationship? I mean, get some perspective? It doesn’t help that a lot of fandom adults were the ones coming up with, and reblogging those theories and the younger fans ate it up. It would have made more sense for Louis and Harry to do it but idk maybe I’m still out of touch for thinking so. I mean, it felt like every other week someone was talking about Larry coming out. It was such a shit storm oh my god.

Biggest issue I still have with them is that the entitled behaviour hasn’t stopped. For some it seems like, Larry coming out is it for them. Like pack it up, goodbye, shows over, Louis and Harry are gay and in a relationship and everything is rainbows, we get to see cute pictures of them and everyone lives happily ever after.

Yeah, no. Coming out, for anyone, is just the beginning, can’t even begin to imagine what its like for them. They’re still going to need everyones support, and it irritates me that for some fans it seems so fucking conditional.

Time and time again, I’ve seen tweets, and posts, and videos, whatever, going on about Larry coming out and it reads like a fucking wattpad story. Not just that but its always on the assumption by the poster, on the off chance they consider the other 3/5ths of the band and Ziam being a possibility, that Larry will come out first?

What?

I’m sorry but, what?

Everything I’ve seen from the boys tells me they’re all in this together, they support each other and are working through the bullshit as a team. We have all seen the No Judgement music video yes? The merch, posts, double speak etc referencing each other, yes?

I mean, I suppose if you only look at Louis and Harry, like so many do, sure. Only Larry matters, everyone else is a side character in their life.

(Lemme just, scream for a second).

However, that kind of thinking leads them to the wrong conclusions. Like… assuming the SBB/RBB countdown was attributed to nothing, when it counted down to Liam finally being free of Sophia. In the years since, I’ve seen Larries ™ backtrack on claiming the bears had anything to do with the boys, that they weren’t behind it at all, or that they were just trolling the fandom.

You know, despite all the proof otherwise, and some really, really good posts breaking down clues about what the boys were trying to tell us. The moment something might not actually be about Louis and Harry its like all their thinking shuts off. Its frustrating. Really fucking frustrating.

Seriously, fans of the other boys as individulas, not just Ziams, have been talking about the stunts too and how they fit together. Its why we tend to be right, because we’re considering the entire group. They’re still a group. They’re not free until all of them are free.

Just for that Nialls coming out first. Lmao. I’ll call it now. Lets go Niall, whens the baby coming. We all wanna know. Its been years.

Imagine, imagine! Acting like coming out is some race to be won. The fucking audacity.

Go outside and touch fucking grass you absoulte ninny.

I get it, you want to be vindicated, you want to be rewarded for putting your faith in two celebrities being together.

Newsflash you dandelionfluff, its not a race, Louis and Harry coming out isn’t a fucking prize. Thats not what supporting a relationship looks like.

Its worse when someone admits they don’t know much about Ziam or the possibility of Niall being LGBT+, and claim they’re open to it, but then immediately tweet or reblog or sub tweet or tag comment a post or answer an ask from another Larry ™ talking about how Larries ™ are the most marginalized and persecuted group.

???

In what fucking world?

IN WHAT FUCKING WORLD?

If we wanna play that game, boohoo, the media claims Louis and Harry aren’t friends anymore because of crazy shippers. Meanwhile Zayn publicly isn’t friend with anyone and “left” the band… despite the Ziam fandom calling the stunt about either Louis or Zayn “leaving” and getting it down to the exact week (the second article coming out a week before about the Ziam kiss pretty much cemented it for Zayn leaving. Which did a lot to fan the flames of the already rabid fanbase when Ziam got two articles confirming a Ziam kiss over the years and Larry got nada. Like that actually means anything).

Not to mention Larries ™ using the hetties and management tactics against the other parts of the fandom to silence them.

Who cares what the media says anyway!  TPTB, 1DHQ, The Sun, The Mirror, Simon and his minions and their unpaid interns have used the media to split the fandom apart and it worked.

Who the fuck cares if the media calls the 1D stans delusional, you know the truth! The truth it out there and you’ve seen it! The truth is coming! Who gives a damn about what some two bit “journo” who failed out of their creative writing course writes? They get worse by the year. If it wasn’t so pathetic and hilarious I might actually feel embarrassed for them. They can’t even come up with new stories and have just taken to copying old articles, but you’re upset with them??? Give it a rest. Honestly.

The sense of disconnect, entitlement and victimhood of some Larries ™ is absolutely ridiculous.

Oh my god they’re Karens. I’m not trying to be insulting, but thats exactly who they remind me of.

I’m not going to say its a surprise to me that so many in the Ziam fandom are POC, LGBT+, and Neurodivergent and any combination of those, but I am going to say I’ve read a lot of Larry fics that just have Het sex made gay. Those in the Ziam fandom just tend to look at facts in a different way than Larries do due to their life experiences. A interfaith, interracial, relationship where one or both partners fall under the Bi umbrella (not saying Louis or Harry can’t be or aren’t Bi+ but rumors, and the way the fandom markets them, puts them firmly in the gay category) looks very, very different than gay or straight relationship. Both looking from outside and being in one. There’s just different dynamics at play that aren’t often realized or understood by the gays and hets.

Its not a bad thing. All relationships are different. The issue is that theres a lot of biphobia/racism/religious prejudice etc that arises from people being unwilling to understand the inherent differences.

Taking myself for example, I’m bi, like, bi as hell, and I don’t understand how gays and hets only like one gender. I just don’t. Can’t wrap my head around it. If someone asks me to choose one gender over the others to prefer I can’t. Its so stressful. My brain goes into panic mode and it feels like I’m being torn apart. My sense of identity is shaken- its a shit feeling. I just can’t lie to myself like that. If other people feel the same well, its no wonder bi+ have such high rates of depression and suicide. Its not about choosing who to like, there is no choice, I just feel attraction to everyone. Aces, I get. Its similar to being the opposite of what I feel, or not feeling an attraction to someone I’m not interested in. Easy. Gays and hets? I’m completely lost on.

Completely, and I know I’m not the only one who feels that way. But that doesn’t mean I’m not willing to try and understand where they’re coming from. Its alien to me, personally, but I’m not going to shut down the fact, that theres a fuck ton of people who only like one gender or try and make up reasons as to why they’re actually bi+

I digress, none of the boys fall neatly into the gay stereotypes, its just that parts of the Larry fandom have boxed Louis and Harry into certain roles to fit preconceived notions (likely do to them initially fitting in better with the white, sassy, somewhat effeminate twink thats been plastered all over Hollywood as their “LGBT+ representation” for years. Gag), they can understand better, and only look for proof to back up their theories but don’t look at things objectively.

They really need to get out more and make some LGBT+ friends that aren’t on the internet and talk to some gay elders. They need educating that’s not the often sanitized and insulting Hollywood version, that’s all I’m saying.

They made Louis and Harry more palatable for themselves and its… really gross.

I don’t know, I don’t get it.

Some Larries ™ turned the boys into their fandom and fanfiction stereotypes when they’re so much more than that. The Sony leaks should have been enough to dissuade the fandom, and prove that the brand sold to the broader audience is just that- a brand, and yet… Niall only talks about food and golf and Ireland and is only allowed to be straight or ace. If he exists at all its just to be Capt Niall. Liams slow and dumb and depending on the day he’s either Capt Liam or a horrific abusive homophobe. Zayns just The Worst, a unstable drug addict, and the boys hate each other, and they should have kicked him out of the band sooner because he never wanted to be part of them anyway, etc.

It drives me absolutely around the bend some days. They’re real people who don’t owe anyone anything, especially not coming out.

Yes, I think they will. But they’re not obligated to. They can change their minds, I’ll support them regardless of an “official” coming out or not.

Look, a part of me gets it. They wanna be right, they wanna prove the haters wrong, they want to be able to say I called it all along! The vindication will be sweet.

But like, it takes a quick look at someone other than Louis and Harry to realize theres something hinky going on with Liam, Zayn and Niall. Please listen to their fans who have spent just as much time as you have looking into Louis and Harry compiling together evidence.

It might take a weekend to watch the ILYSM and pterodactyl bros videos and a few more hours looking into some Niall blogs, which isn’t much compared to the hours I know they’ve spent looking into Larry. At least then they’ll have enough information to form an opinion on things.

I wonder, for some, what would happen if Larry didn’t come out, or didn’t come out first, or one of the other boys was outed against their will. Because… I don’t know. It seems like some would rather just be proven right at this point.

I get it. We’re tired. Its been eleven long years. But this isn’t a television show were everything can come to a head with a s3 or s4 cliff hanger and fixed in the series finale. Its real life, and they started off as boys trusting industry veterans who never had their best interests at heart.

Iduno. I just want some Larries ™ to take a step out of the echo chamber, realize life isn’t The Larry Show & co. And especially. ESPECIALLY, that every instance were someone, friends, family, co-works, industry peeps etc support the boys they are SUPPORTING THE BOYS, NOT THE FANDOM. They are not “confirming Larry for the fans” they’re doing it to support the couple, not to cater to the fandom. Please stop confusing the two. There’s a huge fucking difference. Learn it.

[korra-the-red-lion]

So I wrote a post the other day about how annoyed I was at Black Lightning’s cancellation. So, some random guy on the internet tried to mansplain to me as to why I needed to get over it because the CW’s treatment isn’t as bad as I think it is. Thank you to @legends-of-shield for replying to that guy, I’ve since blocked him. And thank you to @i-prefer-the-fictional-world and @badwolf-timeandspace for adding excellent additions in response to him.

Now, I just wanted to highlight in this post some problems regarding the women, PoC, and Queer people who work for the CW. Anyone who sees this, please feel free to add on because I’m only going to talk about things I’m aware of, and don’t want to spread any misinformation.

First off, Candice Patton has been treated like SHIT by the CW for years. She has been attacked by ‘fans’ of the Flash because she plays a Black Iris West. She’s endured racist attacks, sexist attacks, and hateful remarks during her time there. Only when push came to shove to Grant Gustin finally say that he supported Candice. Iris had zero agency in a storyline that was about her death. She had no storylines outside of Barry since mid-way season 2, I believe. Then, when she seems to be getting a really awesome storyline in season 6, they throw her into the Mirrorverse where she basically stands around and talks to Eve. Iris gets sidelined way too often for someone who is the second protagonist of the Flash. Like for fuck’s sake, Arrow let their female characters do more. 

Danielle had to basically put her foot down when the producers and writers wanted her to have yet ANOTHER love interest in season 4. She was tired of Caitlin’s storylines being her falling in love with someone who either leaves or betrays them. They were going to pair her up with Ralph. Imagine being considered one of OG trio who are supposedly the smartest people in Central City yet your storylines are you falling in love...again and again.

Kara Danvers has lost agency in her own story multiple times. As a Supergirl fan, it is really hard to constantly watch her shoved to the side in favour of what? Mon-El’s character development? Winn coming back for a pointless two-parter? Then there is the lack of proper screen time for Nia Nal, and Alex in recent seasons. Alex’s adoption storyline who? Nia having ONE episode in all of season 5 in favour of Lex and William? The reason why Dansen isn’t as popular as it should be isn’t from lack of trying, it’s from the fact that time that could have been spent on them was spent of Willy and his backstory episode, or Lex and Lillian having evil conversations about how evil they are. (No hate on Jon, because he is amazing, but too much focus was on Lex). Oh, maybe Kelly should also be allowed to have a storyline, or is that too much to ask? 

China Anne McClain released a video yesterday, and it turns out that the CW DIDN’T BOTHER TO EVEN TELL THEM BLACK LIGHTNING WAS DONE AFTER THIS SEASON. They literally figured out the news the same time we did. That is awful.

Vanessa Morgan told the world that she was being paid less than all her white co-stars. Toni hasn’t had a legitimate storyline since season 2. I swear to God that her only lines in season 5 were “hey babe” “babe” and “Cheryl.” She went from badass Serpent Queen to Girlfriend of Cheryl. How disappointing.

Oh, and what about Cheryl? Her role was radically reduced the last couple of seasons as well. For what reason? Not super clear.

Then poor Veronica has her weird daddy fetish storyline that has legit been going on since season 2. PLEASE GIVE CAMILLA SOMETHING TO WORK WITH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.

Now, what happened to Green Arrow and the Canaries? The show has been stuck in limbo hell for 10 months now. This is really disappointing when you know that there were a lot of people, even people who maybe didn’t like Dinah, Laurel 2, or Mia, were excited to see it happen. Instead, you slap us in the face with Superman & Lois. THEN IT TURNS OUT THAT S&L HAS HAD A LOT OF SHIT GOING ON BEHIND THE SCENES BEFORE IT EVEN HAS AIRED UGH.

Firing a black, female writer because they dared to make a point of picking out the very large flaws in your show? Sounds about right. Quietly letting Andrew Kreisberg even though multiple women complained about him being a sexual predator? Hmm super not okay. The only reason why they made a statement about Hartley Sawyer was because so many people complained. And let’s not forget the countless times they have allowed toxic people in the fandoms to get away with this kind of bullshit behaviour. 

I’m going to stop here for now. These are just a few examples of how the female, PoC, and Queer people have been treated on and off screen. Like I said above, please add on if you know anything. I’m tired of being told to shut up and be happy with what we’ve got, because what we’ve gotten so far is scraps. Thanks if you read this far.

[subjecta5newtella]

thoughts on newtmas :) go on :) i’m listening :)

sami rly said ok time for violence. this is going to be so long sorry everyone.

if we’re talking newtmas itself as a ship in itself, outside of any other influence (and specifically in the movie version, which is generally what people are talking about), I think it’s a good ship. I would have to be the most unobservant motherfucker alive to not see what people see in it, and I am not, in fact, the most unobservant motherfucker alive. it’s a good dynamic with good chemistry and realistically I think if I’d started with the movies rather than the books, I would’ve gone all in for it.

however. I personally am incapable about talking about it in isolation.

I realize from that segue it sounds like I’m about to lead into some grand moral point, but mostly I just liked how dramatic it sounded. anyway. I feel like I need to start with a disclaimer that the easiest, simplest part of this is that you tend to get attached to your first ships in a fandom, as well as your initial feelings about the characters. obviously you can change your mind about any of those things, but it does stick with you. if we’re going to be kind and skip my internalized homophobia era (please be kind), I shipped thominho and nalby because that’s what was big at the time. I also just... did not like book thomas very much, so I wasn’t about to ship him with my favorite character.

(complete and utter tangent: it’s interesting to me that people read the books now and overwhelmingly see newtmas. I recognize that every time I start a sentence with “it’s interesting that” it automatically sounds shady, but i genuinely just love Analyzing. anyway some of it’s definitely people seeing the movie first or having fandom content as a first exposure even in passing, all of which are valid ways to engage, but I do kind of find it fascinating when people talk about book!newtmas as some massive presence because then... theoretically we all should’ve seen it pre-movies? the ship existed, usually among people who hardcore multishipped, but it wasn’t anything like it is today. not at all to say that reading it like that is invalid, it’s just interesting to me the way some people talk about that interpretation, rather than the interpretation itself)

anyway. with that all out of the way, i do have some actual issues with newtmas, although it really doesn’t have anything to do with the characters or the ship itself. these are things that surround the ship and affect my feelings about it, meaning that I never bought in despite, like I said, Seeing It. my main issue with it is how much the roles of other characters have been reduced to create the ship in its current form. I’ve talked at far too much length about the way minho was adapted and honestly will probably talk about it more, because that’s the big one to me (that post can be found here, for those who don’t keep up with every rant I’ve ever gone on for some reason). I will not go so far as to say that’s required reading to fully understand this post, but I would recommend it since I don’t want to just repeat myself. so much of newtmas being the major ship feels like it’s predicated on minho not being there and not having anywhere near as strong a relationship with thomas and newt as he did in the books, and that will never sit right with me.

newt’s relationship with alby is his other most significant dynamic outside thomas and minho, and i feel like it might be surprising to hear me say this, but i get why that one was reduced for the movie. there’s only so much time in the film, so you want to focus on the characters who are going to make it past the first one. I do have a problem here, but it has more to do with dashner and with some fandom bullshit. with dashner, i think the crank palace is the worst of it (I could’ve just stopped that sentence at “I think the crank palace is the worst” but whatever). since all my rants lead back to each other, I’ll link the relevant one here, but the general gist is that my biggest problem was that newt does not seem to have any more of a post-swipe past than thomas does despite theoretically having two more years of memories. given that fact, I don’t know about you, but I would kind of expect alby to be more of a presence in his consciousness. that’s true of pretty much any of the original gladers, but newt and alby are clearly very close in the first book, and again, alby saved his fucking life. he’s literally mentioned once. dashner prioritized the newt/thomas dynamic so much that newt seemingly had no meaningful relationships with anyone else. tcp isn’t immune to treating minho badly either; like I said in that post, it sounds like newt read the wikipedia page on minho. is any of this the fault of the ship itself? does this change anything that came before it? no, but the whole thing feels massively disingenuous, and also kind of disrespectful to people who actually, like, gave a shit about the other characters. also, the way he’s retconning makes me real nervous.

the other part, like I mentioned, is the fandom more than any of the actual content. I’m aware that part of this is just a statistics game and also that’s it’s not representative of all newtmas shippers, but most of the alby bashing I’ve seen comes from newtmas people. it’s... baffling to me, honestly. what’s the point in putting down a ship being kept alive by me and like 3 other people? what do you gain by misrepresenting a character to the point of maliciousness when you could easily just not engage with them? again, I know it’s not everyone and it doesn’t have anything to do with the ship, but I’d be lying if I said things like this don’t color my perception. if someone goes out of their way to put down a ship I like, I’m not really gonna want to associate myself with their ship. I’m gonna cling to my own harder out of spite, actually.

also.... okay. so I peaced out to go do other shit between earlyish 2015 and mid 2019. and it was very weird to temporarily leave the fandom while the two main (in my recollection at least, which could be biased by who i was friends with) mlm ships each included one of the explicitly non-white characters, and come back to find it almost entirely dominated by white boy/white boy... like. I don’t wanna make a statement as simple as “the fandom is racist” because a) it’s not my place to say that, b) if we want to go into that, there are other examples of fandom racism where it’s Blatant and there really is no excuse, whereas this is a bit more complicated imo because c) like. that’s the dynamic the movies gave us. the movies focused very heavily on the newt and thomas dynamic, so of course that’s what the fandom is going to focus on. there’s a lot to say there, but that’s a different issue. it does.... still contribute to the bad taste in my mouth, though, and also contributes to me feeling like I need to keep those ships alive. it’s not about who has the Most Progressive Ship, I just feel weird about the particular shift I’ve seen here.

on a note that sounds less like I’m leveling accusations, New Relationships just aren’t my vibe. you look at my ao3 and it’s like. friends of many years to lovers. established relationship. friends to lovers to exes and back again. just from a dynamics perspective, there are other ships that are more interesting for me to explore. there. this is a lighter reason.

idk overall I don’t wanna sound like I’m on some Moral Crusade here, even though i know some of my points made it sound like that. this is really just me putting all of my thoughts that I can currently round up in one place in order to... idk, explain myself? and like it’s stupid that i feel the need to explain myself, but I know it’s weird not to ship it at this point, and I know if I did I would have so much more content to choose from and a much wider audience for my own content. there’s just baggage there thats entirely separate from the ship itself, having seen the shift and knowing what had to change in order to center newtmas. I’m not trying to sound like I’m better than anyone; I just think maybe I have a different perspective on things having been here for long enough to qualify it as a new mental illness, and that’s ultimately why I feel the way I do.

[fandom-necromancer]

You and me against the world

This was prompted by an amazing anon! The universe didn’t want this story written, but I summoned my inner Gavin and said phck the universe. I hope you enjoy! The lost version is better stylistically, but I still like it!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warning: Graphic depiction of violence, Hank is OOC for the sake of having an antagonist) [Part2]

It should have been easy: Sit in a room, drink some water, look important, answer some questions and get back to work. Had Gavin known how it ended, he would have never agreed to do this stupid live interview about human-android relations after the revolution.

‘Hello! This is Joss Douglas from Channel 16, reporting live from the DPD’s fifth precinct where the very first android joined the police force. We have the unique possibility to interview not one but two human-android work partners. Let’s greet Lieutenant Anderson and Connor, who had worked here even before deviation, as well as Nines and Detective Reed!’ Gavin tried to keep up a neutral but nor intimidating face and hoped Hank to lead the talk. Their dislike was mutual, but at least they had managed to stay professional so far. He nodded his greeting after Connor and Hank answered with a polite hello. ‘Okay, then let’s jump in right away!’ The reporter announced flashing a well-trained smile that should calm as well as impress. ‘I guess the question most people out there would love to ask is how it is to work as a deviant with the police. During the revolution it isn’t too wrong to assume you had been opposing forces.’ The reporter looked towards Nines with it, but the android redirected it: ‘I believe Connor can say more to that. I’ve been activated after the revolution as a deviant from the start. I can only say that my human co-workers have been generally accepting and nice. We do face problems sometimes when we have cases involving deviants that suffer from trauma caused by previous actions. Though we hope to become better and change that.’ The reporter nodded and turned towards Connor. ‘Then let’s ask you then! How did your life pre-deviation influence you? Were you treated differently afterwards?’

Gavin listened to Connor being polite and diplomatic only with half an ear, instead focussing on how they all avoided calling names. No one said something about being a machine or robot. Well, he guessed it was better that way, although he still didn’t believe in seeing them as all human. He knew Nines very intimately by now and he had noticed himself how forgetting they were steel and plastic had caused unnecessary harm. But he came to the wise conclusion it was probably best not to say that on public television. Next the reporter asked Hank and him how it was working during the revolution and both answered mostly by telling the truth: That they had investigated the cases like any other, but were very glad not to be involved in trying to suppress the revolution. It would have felt wrong. That likely was the only topic he and Hank would ever agree on.

‘Without doubt there are a lot of challenges deviants as well as humans out there face figuring out this still new situation. Have you faced any yourselves?’ Connor was eager to answer, clearly the more enthusiastic to help androids make use of their rights, being part of the revolution himself: ‘There have been some challenges in the beginning, but after a few months, things started to change really quickly.’ The reporter seemed just as eager to jump on it. This clearly had been what he had wanted to talk about all along. ‘Oh, would you mind elaborate on that a bit? I believe quite a few androids face some kind of problems these days. I think it is time to face them together!’ Gavin had relaxed quite a bit from the initial nervousness. It seemed Connor and Hank were comfortable leading this whole thing, while him and Nines stayed in the backseat and answer with additions and different perspectives. At least until Hank spoke up, joking: ‘I believe, Gavin here could tell you a lot about that.’

Oh no, please, did the old phck really have to deal that blow? The reporter seemed just as confused, having read the natural feeling of their personalities. Connor was quick for an attempt at damage control: ‘Hank, I don’t think-‘ But the reporter had caught himself and apparently taken it for a genuine cue. ‘Oh, that would be lovely, Detective Reed.’ Gavin sighed, remembering they were on TV. He thought how to put this best without looking like the man Hank wanted him to frame as. ‘Well… you see… Me and Connor didn’t get along at first. When he was still a ma- Before he deviated, I saw him as one of these “robot-overlords” that were sent to replace us.’ He did think to quickly add air quotes to that. ‘I did things that… weren’t exactly nice, but I have since-‘ ‘You tried to kill him. Multiple times’, Hank interrupted.

Gavin gaped at him. So that’s what they were playing? He knew Hank didn’t like him and that he wanted to drive a wedge between him and Nines, who he saw as almost a son. Damn overprotective bastard, it wasn’t as if he had changed since then and- ‘You did?’, the reporter asked too shocked to remember doing his job. Gavin’s brain worked overtime trying to find a way out of this one, but when he had opened his mouth, Hank had already began. ‘Before the revolution he viewed them as simple machines that weren’t alive. As if deviancy was nothing but a bug. Roughing up an android suspect wasn’t out of the question.’ Nines sat up straighter, before Gavin could do something dumb on life TV. ‘May I add that Detective Reed never did and never would do such a thing and that the statement was meant as a joke at that time?’ Apparently the reporter realised his interview had been derailed and wanted to regain power over it, but Hank had other ideas: ‘Yeah, but he threatened him with a gun – I think twice - hit him and called him names.’ ‘Is this true?’

Gavin had managed to stay calm until now. But this was enough. What did the idiot think he was doing? So he did what he could do best: explode. ‘Yes. Yes, it is true. I was an asshole, am still, but me and Connor came to terms. We talked about it. I regret it. I have even fallen in love with one of these plastic pricks! And I talked about my ways with Nines and we are still together. Maybe you don’t understand it Hank, but it is like it is! So phck you and your stupid schemes! This interview is over!’

With that he marched out of the room and called himself a taxi home.

~

Of course, the live broadcast had been a disaster that had become famous for all the wrong reasons. At least the protesters outside had subsided a week later and Fowler had had his back by letting him off the hook with a disciplinary and Hank on patrol duty for his shitty behaviour. Didn’t mean life was back to normal. His favourite bar had thrown him out, as the android bartender had politely explained they didn’t serve robophobic fuckers like him there. Not that anyone in Detroit thought of him highly. Cases had become difficult as witnesses refused to speak with him or even became violent upon seeing him. It was surprising Nines still had his back. The tall android had stepped in front of him every single time, catching fists directed his way and explaining in his most intimidating voice that personal opinions would not advance the investigation. By now Gavin was happy to get the gruesome cases. The cases that involved dead bodies en masse without any ties to the living world.

But hell, this was not what he had wanted. Not at all. He was a detective, goddamnit! And he had changed, he had put real effort in too! And now all of that had been torn down by Hank phcking Anderson. Phcking hell… He stared at the screen without any ambition, tracing the specks of blood, overlying Nines’ analysis and the forensics’ data. It was likely a suicide after an overdose that had destroyed the woman’s ability to think clearly, but Gavin would be damned if he wouldn’t be thorough. Only that by now he was craving a cigarette. He had to relax, get his mind off of this whole shit-show. Maybe he needed a vacation. Maybe he should ask for a transfer. But for now, a cigarette would do.

So, he decided to call it quits for today. He would take some of his overtime for this. He grabbed his jacket and waved his hand half-heartedly at Nines. ‘See ya tomorrow, tin-can.’ Then he headed outside, a stick already on his lips fumbling to get the lighter on in the strong autumn wind. It had gotten cold far too early in the year. He finally ignited the cigarette and put his hands in his pockets, walking down the street. He had sat in a chair far too long already and decided to get home by foot for once. At least until he decided otherwise.  He took a few shortcuts through back alleys, trying to escape the sharp winds of the main streets, puffing out clouds of smoke and breath. He wasn’t really thinking about anything, letting his feet carry him on. Maybe that was how he couldn’t see the fist coming for his face and then his stomach.

He doubled over and saw the cigarette falling to the ground weirdly clear. All air seemed to have left his lungs as he knelt on the cold floor holding his middle. ‘This is the man, right?’ ‘Yeah. What a piece of shit!’ ‘Oh, this will be fun.’ Gavin groaned. How could he ever have thought androids and humans were different? Everyone was just full of the same bullshit. ‘Get up!’ Someone grabbed him by the back of his jacket and hoisted him up to his feet. Gavin stood face to face with an android, two more behind him. A woman and one that apparently chosen not to present their skin. Not that Gavin cared, the three were here to beat him up, that was all he needed to know. Phck, Fowler would hate the hospital costs. This still counted as an accident on the journey from work, right? God, he hoped it was. He didn’t have a beautiful face to begin with, but he really didn’t want another go at how phcked up do you want to look versus how much are you willing to pay.

At least these ridiculous thoughts left him as the android that had picked him up pushed him against a wall and pinned him while the skinless one threw the next punch to his jawline. Gavin felt tears prickling at the corner of his eyes and blinked them free, just to get the next strike to his sternum again and when he gasped for air, someone kicked his legs from underneath him. Unable to react fast enough, Gavin flopped to the ground, remembering his lessons to roll in his head to his chest and keep it there. The least thing he wanted was to get hit in the head and fall unconscious while the androids had their fun. There were better ways to die.

He rolled to his side as a boot connected with his shoulder and burrowed his head in his arms for protection. Maybe if he could get a good kick at one of them, he could roll over and escape. Maybe he could make it to the main street where people could help him. Not that he expected them to, but he couldn’t fight three androids on his own. But unfortunately, his foot didn’t hit a leg but a hand, as the woman grabbed and lifted his leg, turned him around and kicked where it hurt most. Gavin couldn’t suppress a whine as the pain paralyzed him. He once again rolled up into a ball and tried to protect his vulnerable areas. Maybe he should have fallen unconscious, he thought as boots and punches made his whole body light up in pain. Somewhere along the way one of his teeth got knocked loose and he tasted blood in his mouth. As he opened his eyes the next time the world was a blurry mess. Maybe they would stop soon. Maybe someone had called the police. But no, the only thing he saw was a fourth silhouette joining the three. Well, that was just his luck, wasn’t it? Who cared how much you changed? All that mattered was how the world saw you and in his case the world had made up its mind a long time ago. He pressed his eyes closed and braced for more.

But nothing came. Until there were hands on him. ‘No’, he begged. ‘Please, don’t.’ But the hands continued mapping his body and Gavin noticed they were gentle. They didn’t hurt, didn’t press down on them but simply examined him. He dared to relax a little and uncurl, but the tiny movement made everything ache. Apparently, Gavin had groaned, because the stranger spoke up: ‘Shh, it’s fine, Gavin. I’m here. You are safe.’ ‘Tin-can?’, Gavin slurred and made the effort to look up. It really was Nines and he threw him a soft smile. ‘Yes. You left early and you forgot your keys. Wanted to bring them to you, but you already left by foot, so I followed. I’m sorry I wasn’t here faster.’ ‘You are here now’, Gavin sighed and God, was he tired. ‘Hey, stay with me now. You don’t get to seep just yet, wait until you’re home and showered.’ Nines turned him around gently and finally nodded. ‘Aright. You are beaten up pretty badly, but it’s nothing serious. Minor wounds, but a lot of them. I’ll get you home, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. You will feel better in no time.’

Gavin smiled and lifted his hand to lay on his cheek and Nines took it to hold there. ‘Why do you still stick around?’, the human asked. ‘After what happened I’m basically target practise. You’d have it easier without me.’ ‘I don’t want that’, Nines said, wrapping Gavin in his jacket. ‘Come on, if the whole world says I’m an asshole there has to be some truth to it.’ ‘I don’t care what the world has to say about you’, Nines said and snaked an arm under his back. ‘I love you’, he said with vehemence. ‘I know you. The real you. And that’s everything that matters to me.’

With that, Nines picked him up and pulled him to his chest, carrying the beaten human towards the street, where a cab was already waiting. ‘I’d say it’s you and me against the world’, he whispered as he sat him down on the backseat. But Gavin had already fallen asleep.

[>next part]

[katiecomma]

Tell me the fandom deets on Macgyver, pretty please?

the first character i ever fell in love with: Jack Dalton - 100% - From the moment I first met him I was like: sassy ex Delta Force who loves everyone too much? MINE!

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: Unpopular answer: Mac honestly. I love Mac. I love him a lot. I understand that he’s been through some shit. But some of his motivations in the last few seasons (fair warning: I’m not totally caught up on the show - this is one of the main reasons why I stopped watching) haven’t made a lot of sense to me. And the stuff with Nasha really made me mad... And I think if they would have given us the voice overs in S3 we would have been able to see more of his motivation and gotten into his head why he was doing/saying some of the things he was doing it would have helped. And from what I’ve seen... I don’t like who he is in a relationship with Desi (I don’t hate MacDesi, but I hate what they’ve done with it in the show from what I’ve seen)... so I just... I don’t know I feel like he’s not the same character from S1-2... and that’s my Mac honestly.

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: I actually think I still love all of my ships from this show... there’s no ship that I don’t like anymore... Huh. But I don’t tend to give up on ships... I don’t know if I’ve ever changed my opinion drastically on a ship in a fandom like that ever.

my ultimate favourite character™: Jack Dalton again... I love him too much. He’s got the greatest lines... he’s charming and witty and loves all of his little found family so much it hurts.

prettiest character: I honestly have to say I think this is a tie between Riley and Mac. I have a bigger crush on Riley... but GAH they’re both so pretty. Like... ridiculously pretty.

my most hated character: James. He’s the worst. I even wrote an entire fic on the premise of Jack getting to punch him in the face. There was some other plot... but I honestly engineered the whole plot and everything around Jack getting to punch James in the face at the end. Worth it.

my OTP: MacDalton - I’m on this ship until it hits an iceberg and sinks. I love them so much. You go kaboom, I go kaboom?! Epic ship material. Coming back for another FUCKING TOUR IN AFGHANISTAN FOR MAC?! Epic ship material.

my NOTP: MacDesi (SORRY! This is not invalidating this ship for ANYONE ELSE - this is a personal opinion and I support you shipping them 100%) - again, fair warning that I’m not caught up on the series... but from everything I’ve seen... Desi is a very abusive SO. I think they had potential, but I really don’t like what they’ve done with it on the show. As for shipping outside of canon... I personally never saw the romantic connection based on their interactions before they got together. Very-Desi centric... the pink dress scene drove me crazy because I didn’t like the idea of Desi trying to win Mac over by doing something like that. Up to that point Desi struck me as the kind of woman to be herself and just wait for a man to make a move on her, or to just be bold and make a move on him. But strutting around in a revealing little dress and playing mating games - I was sad they took her character to that place... so I never really shipped them.

favourite episode: Mac + Jack (S2E12) - as a MacDalton shipped I love this for obvious reasons... but there’s just so much in this episode... I loved seeing Jack and Mac in the army... the way they first met and totally hated each other at first... fantastic. This episode also has my favourite line of all time... when Mac’s trying to defuse the bomb under the hummer... and Jack’s bothering him... Mac: Well, you know what, there is a quicker way to do this. Jack: Really? Mac: Yeah, it involves a loud boom and a bunch of shrapnel in your body. Close second place: Skull + Electromagnet (S2E5) - Harper Hayes is so awesome and badass. I love her a lot.

saddest death: Jill Morgan. I loved her so much. I remember sitting down to watch the S3 premiere and saying: As long as they don’t kill Jill, they really can’t let me down...

favourite season: 2 - I loved Cage. I loved all the dynamics. My favourite episodes are in this season. It’s solid from start to finish. I love this whole season.

least favourite season: I will say 3... because I didn’t watch enough of S4 to name it. But S3 really let me down. I hated the way things just faded away with Nasha. I wish they’d had a better end to that. I hated that we lost the voice overs, especially because some of the stuff Mac was doing and saying was obviously because he was messed up over what happened with Jill and Murdoc and all that, and if we’d had voice overs we could have understood what he was feeling. The same way we did in S1 when all the stuff with Nikki was going on. Jack left. Gross. And he left Mac behind with just that handshake. Before Jack left I hated the way he was treated - they made him into the comedic relief buffoon... and there were several episodes where Mac was making Jack the butt of jokes. Desi showed up and it was pretty obvious when she came on the scene that they were introducing her as a new love interest for Mac. I have 0 tolerance for female characters being introduced solely as a love interest - cause: gross. I hated the Riley/Billy breakup. I hated that they killed Jill.  I hated that Charlie died the way he did, and then that night when they got together for beers Mac was smiling and hitting on Desi And let’s not forget that DESI got a phone call from Jack when Charlie died... but Mac didn’t. WHY?! You really think Jack would find out that Charlie died the way he did and not immediately call his boy!? Bullshit Sorry for the rant... but there were a lot of things in this season I didn’t care for.

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: I guess Desi... though I wouldn’t say everyone else loves her. I just... there was so much potential with Desi as a character. Strong asian-American woman who’s the badass strong arm of their team... and they made her a love interest and made her kind of an abusive SO... and I just didn’t care for that. I think her and Mac as characters were both treated badly as a result. In conclusion: I really wanted to like her... I even have a huge crush on her... but I still just... don’t.

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: I guess Murdoc?... Cause I love Murdoc a lot. And I was sad that they ruined the dynamic between him and Mac when he killed Jill. Killing Jill made it so their dynamic can never be the same. Mac didn’t like Murdoc before, but now he hates him on a personal level and will never forgive him.

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Riley - she deserved for Ellwood to stick around. She deserved for Jack to stick around. She deserved for Billy to STICK AROUND. And she deserves to have Mac treat her his found sister and not try to get into her pants the way he seems to every other woman he’s EVER around. (AGAIN: I am not in any way saying MacRiley isn’t a valid ship. I can see the potential - ship to your heart’s content). All this talk of love triangles upsets me... I think they’ve waited too long to pull the trigger on MacRiley... because they’ve always very much had sibling vibes to me.

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: I had originally written that I didn’t have one, but I TOTALLY DO!!! Jack/Harper Hayes!!! I have this series of fics where she’s basically his Murdoc and is totally stalking him and stuff... and I just... everything I’ve written around their sexual tension is very non-con... but I love them a lot and I DON’T KNOW WHY.

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: Mac/Jill - I kinda love them. I love the idea of them being nerds together. I think they would be adorable. Jill is into the spy life but not a field agent so there wouldn’t be as much stress for Mac about losing his girl to the life... etc... So I love them. I think they could have been happy together. And seeing Mac have a happy little home with someone he can still talk about spy stuff with I think would have been great. And yet as much as I love them I just still sit back and dream about it, but I haven’t written much for them. Thank you for the ASK!!! I love doing these!

[bigskydreaming]

Something to keep in mind with a lot of fandom or fic critical stuff is like.....causation and correlation are two distinct things, and they’re not always both present in like, the reason someone might have an issue with a thing.

What I mean by that is, sometimes there are fanon or fic trends that people take issue with BECAUSE of a certain root problem. They dislike this end result in fic, because it is derived from this specific cause, and that cause and effect are the issue in their mind. 

BUT sometimes there are fanon or fic trends that people take issue with because the problem isn’t like....due to a specific cause and effect, rather, the problem is a thing always going hand in hand with something else that IS a problem in someone’s eyes.

For instance, its no secret I think abuse apologism, intentionally or not, is a big problem in Batfam fandom. This is why I have a huge issue with fics who make direct reference to story events from canon that include clear and unequivocable abuse, like NTT #55 or NW #30....in the sense that they utilize the FALLOUT from these scenes, they pick up the story thread of what Dick did in the aftermath of these scenes, those actions and choices that were his direct REACTION to the ACTIONS of others........BUT many of these fics fail to acknowledge those actual inciting actions themselves, because they don’t want to portray Bruce as abusive or acknowledge that depiction. 

However, by removing the inciting action, but keeping the ensuing reactions, they PIVOT the conflict from being born of Bruce’s actions and that Dick was reacting to.....to now have Dick in the driver’s seat of that conflict, with what were originally his reactions to harm done to him now taken out of context and repurposed as its OWN kind of inciting conflict, that other characters then react to as though he’s the problem.

This issue is one of causation. Its a textbook example of abuse apologism where the abuser is by default protected via their defenders removing them from the context of the abuse entirely, and pivoting the focus to be JUST on the abused, making their reactions entirely divorced from the REASONS they’re acting that way. The problem lies entirely in writing Dick as the aggressor in these situations, with the direct CAUSE being not wanting to write him as the one justifiably aggrieved.

Now compare and contrast this with something like Dick being a jerk to Jason when he was Robin, or similar situations where a time when Dick was the injured party in one respect like, coincides with a time where Dick is heavily hyped up as being the offering insult or injury to someone who has nothing to do with whatever happened to him.

The issue I have here is one of correlation. Its not a simple cause and effect thing in play here, but there is still connection between say, a heavy focus on what a jerk Dick is (without much basis for that ever happening) and at the same time, a deliberately light focus on Bruce’s role in Dick and Bruce’s dynamic at the time and what very much did happen in events directly referenced, and which are then in turn referenced as being a big part of Dick’s mood without ever letting this truly come into focus.

See, the issue here is still purely between Dick and Bruce, but there’s a correlative effect in what’s going on between Dick and Jason......as the more people are focused on what Dick is or isn’t doing in his dynamic with Jason, and THAT being the focal issue....the less people are thinking about or invested in what’s going on between Dick and Bruce, even when there’s nominal acknowledgment that that’s the real root of the problem overall.

Of course, then sometimes correlation BECOMES causation. Because the more a trend builds and builds, without acknowledgment or discussion of related issues, the more the unacknowledged connection causes problems in and of itself, and it all loops back in on itself and feeds a never-ending cycle of cause and effect and correlation and avoidance that literally can only ever be broken by just.....critical thinking and direct analysis.

You might think I was building to a point here, but hahaha jk, not really. Tbh this is mostly just me trying to break down a fandom phenomenon into bite-size pieces to present for consideration, because the only real point here is like.....this shit is complicated. It SHOULD be complicated, as anything that pertains to not just liking certain characters and interacting with them, but also interacting with their STORIES and the real life problems they’re mirroring and the resulting behaviors that stem from them, like....should be. 

The problem with treating story-telling (as either a reader or a writer) as escapism, is that story-telling doesn’t exist TO be a form of escapism. Its often utilized as such, or aimed to be used as such, but story-telling is at its heart just......a means of talking about the human condition. Life. How we interact with it.

And thus, even though some stories very much DO work to provide escapism from life and its problems.....some stories very much will NEVER work as such, because you can’t escape from life’s problems by way of....stories that are meant to be examinations of life’s problems. 

(Something that’s particularly an issue with discussions of fiction vs reality. You hear a lot about how fiction isn’t reality, or how fiction does affect reality, but something we really need to talk about more is how some peoples’ fiction IS some other peoples’ reality. Like it may not be the equivalent of writing someone else’s personal memoir, but there needs to be more serious acknowledgment that when writing something that is abstract for you, personally, as in outside your realm of personal experiences because it pertains to aspects of identity or marginalization or lived experiences that aren’t a direct reflection of your own......these topics are not REMOTELY abstract for someone whose very real identity or lived experiences or oppression IS directly reflected in what you’re treating as simple fiction born of your imagination and nothing more. And thus how you interact with what you’re writing and reading and treating as nothing more than fictional, someone else is interacting with as something that’s a lot more real than that, feels a lot more real than that, that’s more personal than abstract). 

But anyway like, escapism isn’t a one-size fits all kinda deal, and CAN’T be. Because the things people want to escape from, the lives that they’re escaping from, and what they need to escape from it vs what will never allow them to escape from it because it will actually just be more examination and awareness of the reasons for their own want for escapism in the first place....none of these things are one size fits all, and that’s why fandom and fanfic are never ever ever going to be a one-stop shop for escapist fantasy the way too many people in fandoms try and treat them as.

And at a certain point you either gotta like, get on board with the fact that life is complicated and there IS no easy breakdown or solution to or discussion about extremely complicated topics like this, and that’s just the way it is so level up already and start treating it as such.....

Or you can do the other thing, which is double down on digging your heels in and pretending there is a simple, shallow, superficial way of dealing with or acknowledging super complicated shit, with that usually just being.....avoiding treating it as such.

Which is the part that tends to lead to perpetuation of cycles of bullshit and feeding directly back into a feedback loop of acknowledging fallout of issues without ever acknowledging the instigation of issues and whoops look at that, a pointed point crept up on me after all, myyyyyyy baaaaaaaaaad.