#this isn’t a joke this is a silly haha funny laugh this is real anxiety I am not pulling a funny aprils fools prank I am genuinely so fuckin

[cirrus-silly]

Having an honest to god freak out about my finger brushing up against the lid of a jar containing canned goods and now I’m freaking out about botulism because I don’t know if that can was properly canned or how long it’s been there but god I’m so freaked out I am on the verge of crying please god anyone help me I’m so fucking scared I don’t know what’s real and what isn’t I can’t tell if I’m okay o t I can’t shake these feelings I can’t I m so scared

[bangtan-sonyeonddaeng]

Part 5

Summary: Soulmates have different ways of being connected to one another. Sometimes it’s through being able to write on their arms and having it show up on their soulmates. For others it was having their first words spoken to one another permanently tattooed into their skin. You had a unique connection with yours, one that you really hadn’t ever heard of happening before. Whatever song was stuck in your soulmate’s head was also stuck in yours and the same was for them. When Yoongi realizes one of his songs is playing on repeat in your head, he immediately takes to writing songs to communicate with you in hopes it will finally bring you two together.

Genre: Fluff. Just pure tooth rotting, sweet fluff.

Whew this was a long one. 4.5k words

Part 1     Part 2      Part 3     Part 4     Part 6

As you stepped off the plane you couldn’t believe it. You were finally in Seoul, the same city as your soul mate. That alone felt indescribable. It was a happiness you had never known. The past day was hectic. Trying to book last minute plane tickets and a hotel room. You didn’t even know how long you were going to be staying here depending on how well things went with Yoongi. You booked your hotel for a week just to be safe, knowing you could cancel if you absolutely had to. You considered coming alone, but your friend was very insistent that they go with you. You were traveling to a foreign country to meet your soulmate. Your friend wouldn’t miss this for the world, but also wanted to be there as a support and help in any way they could.

You arrived to the hotel and unpacked your belongings and immediately flopped down onto the bed.

“Jet lag sucks.”

“Indeed it does. I feel like I could sleep for the next 10 years.” Within moments your friend was snoring and clutching the pillow tightly. You giggled quietly to yourself and pulled your phone out to see if Yoongi had posted anything else. There were no new songs, but there was a new post from him. It was a selfie of him and oh gosh he looked so adorable it made your heart flutter. The caption underneath the photo just said “I can’t wait to see you.”

A bunch of army had commented underneath that they couldn’t wait to see him too. Their tour was starting in a little over a month. You knew what the real meaning was behind the photo. And you quickly typed a reply.

“I can’t wait to see you too. It’s such a short time away.”

You set your phone down and were about to try and sleep for a little bit when a notification went off. ‘I’m not Min Yoongi’ had sent you another reply.

Isn’t it late where you are at now? What are you still doing awake?

You glance at the clock and see that it is only 8:00 pm. You have a long way to go until morning.

Actually I am in Seoul right now. So it’s only 8:00 in the evening. Besides, how do you know where I live? You stalking me?

Ah no! no! You just um… always seemed to reply early in the morning here. So I figured it was late wherever you were.

Yoongi face palms. Smooth save, Min.

Ah okay. Makes sense I guess.

So what are you doing in Seoul?

Hopefully meeting my soulmate.

Oh! That’s exciting! I hope everything goes well for you two.

Me too. I hope everything goes the way I am thinking it will but.. we’ll see.

Well if you were traveling all day aren’t you tired? Shouldn’t you be in bed?

Yes I should be but I can’t sleep. I’m too anxious.

I’m sure your soulmate feels the same. But they would want you to get your rest and take care of yourself.

You’re right. I’ll try my best.

What usually helps you sleep?

Um.. well this might sound silly but I fall asleep easily to Yoongi’s songs and videos of him just talking? His voice is so soothing.

Huh.. I see. You like his voice then?

Yes. Very much. It almost feels like.. coming home after a long trip. Just that comfort of knowing you are home.

Yoongi blushes at this and the sweet compliments.

Maybe he’ll surprise you and do a vlive or something.

Hah, I can only wish.

After that you don’t get a reply. You do however, get a notification on your phone that Yoongi is doing a Vlive. You laugh to yourself as you realize that there is no way that account wasn’t him at this point. You pull out your phone.

You know for someone who isn’t Min Yoongi you sure called that one right.

It’s just a voice live, you hear his phone go off and then hear him quietly chuckling into the mic. You don’t receive a reply but don’t anticipate you will at this point. Yoongi says something in Korean to start that you don’t quite catch what he says, but then he repeats himself in English.

“I heard from some of you that you like my voice and it’s calming to you. Since it’s nearing the end of the night I figured this would be a good way for you all to relax and unwind after a long day.” You smile to yourself and put your headphones in, quickly drifting off to sleep. You wake up a few hours later. When you glance at the clock you see it’s after midnight. You groan and sit up, looking over to the other bed to see your friend completely passed out still. You’ve always envied how deeply they seem to sleep.

As you sit there, the anxiety begins to come back. How nervous you are is finally starting to settle in. What if he doesn’t like you? What if you don’t get along? What if he was hoping his soulmate was someone famous? Are you good enough for him? Your leg starts shaking back and forth before you can’t sit still any longer. You crawl out of bed and slip your shoes on, quietly heading out the door as you don’t want to wake up your friend. You walk outside into the fresh air and find that it is helping you calm down to be able to just walk.

You don’t know where you are heading, but you have your phone with you and can easily find your way back to the hotel with the GPS. You put your headphones back in and just walk. You are listening to the playlist you had made of the few songs Yoongi had wrote for you and continue wandering and humming along. After you listen to all of the songs at least once you come across a bench with a man sitting on it. You don’t pay him any attention and walk on by, lost in your own world. You don’t make it very far before you feel a gentle tug on the bottom of your shirt. You turn around and see the man looking up at you. His bottom half of his face is covered and he’s wearing a beanie and heavy coat. Clearly he doesn’t want to be seen. You panic for a second thinking maybe he was going to mug you before he says something to you.

“What?”

“Ah, foreigner?” You nod.

“I said it’s dangerous to be outside alone this late.” He repeats in English. Your heart nearly drops to your stomach. You know that voice. You’d recognize it anywhere.

“Yoongi?” His eyes widen at that and now he seems to be the one panicked.

“Shit.. Are you a fan? Please don’t tell anyone you saw me and don’t freak out and scream. I go out late to avoid people for a reason-”

“Yoongi stop. It’s me!”

“Am I supposed to know you? Please don’t tell you’re a sasaeng. Wow this is just my luck.”

“It’s y/n!” Yoongi freezes and drops his hand to his side and he looks a little angry if the way he furrows his brows at you is any indication.

“Funny joke. Haha okay what do you want? An autograph?”

“No I’m serious Yoongi it’s me! We’ve been talking on Twitter back and forth! Ah wait no I’m sorry that wasn’t Min Yoongi I forgot.” You say with a smirk on your face.

“I… There’s no way. Let me see your phone.” You pull it out and unlock it, then hand it over to him. He opens up your Twitter and goes to your notifications and sure enough, there’s your conversations. “Oh my god.. Y/n it’s really you.” He hands your phone back and just stares at you in shock.

“Um.. So… what-“

“No, no! Absolutely not! I did not spend all night writing that song about us meeting for the first time for you to just bump into me on the street. I refuse.”

“Yoongi! You can’t fight fate-“

“Like hell I can’t. Watch me.” He stands up and grabs you, turning your shoulders around to face away from him and gives you a gentle push. “Now you march your cute little butt back to your hotel and we can try this again tomorrow.”

“Yoongi, oh my god.” You burst out laughing and your shoulders begin to shake with you how much you are laughing. You can hear him chuckling behind you before his hands move down and wrap around your waist, pulling you into a back hug.

“You have no idea how happy I am to finally have you here. I have never felt so many emotions in my heart at once but they are all good and they are all because of you.” You let your hands move down and your fingers play with his where they are resting on your waist. “But I really want to do this right. So please. Let’s pretend this first encounter never happened. And I’ll see you tomorrow at the river.. okay?” You smile and nod your head.

“Okay, Yoongi. I’ll see you tomorrow then. Can we meet earlier in the afternoon though instead of the evening. I-“

“Ah! Nope! My song says a crisp autumn EVENING. Not day. You’re just going to have to be patient now go on then!” He lets go of you and you let out a giggle but continue walking down the sidewalk. You don’t miss the footsteps trailing behind you on the way.

“What are you doing? I thought you said you didn’t want to meet until tomorrow? Now you’re following me back to my hotel? Scandalous. We haven’t even had our first date and you’re already-”

“Yah! Shush. I just want to make sure you make it back safely. I wasn’t kidding when I said it’s not safe at night time. Pretend I’m not here.”

“Okay.” You smile the whole way back. When you reach the hotel lobby and turn around he’s already gone. Your cheeks hurt from smiling so much as you walk back to your hotel room. You open the door quietly and shuffle back in, kicking your shoes off and collapsing into bed. Your friend is awake now.

“Where did you go?”

“Just for a walk. I couldn’t sleep.”

“Ah, too anxious to meet him for the first time?” You laugh to yourself.

“Yeah, I was. But the walk really helped me. I think I am really ready to see him now.”

“Good! Now get some rest! We have a big day ahead. Well you do anyways. I’ll just be hanging around here anxiously waiting for you to get back and tell me every single detail of your first meeting.”

“Sure thing. Goodnight.”

“Goodnight y/n. I’m sure Yoongi is going to love you. You have nothing to worry about.” You roll over onto your side and before long you are about to drift off to sleep when a noise from your phone brings you out of your drowsy daze. You see it’s a notification for twitter. Yoongi, sent you a message.

By the way, you’re absolutely the most beautiful person I have ever seen.

You smile and your cheeks heat up, feeling a warmth in your chest as you finally drift off to sleep.

You don’t wake up until late afternoon. The jet lag, coupled with the anxiety you felt last night before meeting Yoongi and being up late had allowed you to sleep for a long time. You probably would have still been asleep if your friend wouldn’t have woken you up to go eat lunch. You don’t tell them that you already met Yoongi, having promised to pretend like it never happened and you intended to keep your word. You spend the day exploring the city, even going to the Line Friends store and picking up a few items to spoil yourself a little bit. You walk around and eat until it’s now starting to get dark outside.

“We should probably head over to the park now. I’ll ride in the taxi with you there but then after I drop you off I’ll head back to the hotel.”

“Wait why don’t you just wait for me? What if something goes wrong and-“ Your friend flicks your forehead.

“Y/n don’t start that nonsense. You two are probably going to be out together all night. Just text me and check in. Let me know how everything is going, alright?” You nod and hug your friend tightly.

“Thank you for coming with me, and pushing me out of my comfort zone. And annoying Yoongi with your horrible songs. If it weren’t for you I probably wouldn’t have met him.”

“Hmmm, yes you would. Fate would have made sure of it, but I will take the praise anyway.” Just then a taxi pulls up and you both get in. But when you arrive at the park only you get out. You wave to your friend as the car pulls away. The butterflies in your stomach feel like they are going to fly out of your mouth at any moment. You walk along the riverside, admiring the views and listening to the sounds of the crickets. You notice up ahead all of the flowers and your pace quickens when you notice Yoongi standing in the middle of all of them. He spots you and immediately starts waving. But you ignore it and keep walking. He stops waving and tilts his head in confusion.

“Y/n!” He yells your name but you still continue walking along the path towards him. “Are you going to say hi to me or not?!”

“Huh? Sorry do I know you?”

“Are you serious right now?”

“We’ve never met before. How do you know my name?” You are trying so hard not to laugh when it finally clicks with Yoongi.

“Ah yes you’re right. My mistake. Are you here to meet with someone?”

“Yes. My soulmate told me to meet him among the cosmos.” You say with a smile. Yoongi is absolutely beaming as he reaches down and takes your hand in his.

“Well then that would be me. I’m Yoongi. But you must have already known that if you heard my songs for you.” He brings your hand up to his lips and gently kisses the back of it. The shock it sends through you almost brings you to your knees.

“I’m y/n. It’s nice to meet you soul mate.” Yoongi’s gummy smile widens further before he pulls you tightly into his arms. His hug is bone crushing, making it slightly hard for you to breathe but there is no way you would ask him to let go. Your arms are around his neck pulling him impossibly closer to you. He nuzzles his face into your shoulder and you feel your sweater dampen. You pull away in shock.

“Yoongi why are you crying?”

“Why are YOU crying?”

“I am not!” But you know you are. You can feel the tears streaming down your face and your voice cracks when you talk. “Okay I definitely am.” You both laugh and reach up to wipe each other’s tears away. You spend a few moments with your hands gently ghosting over each other’s faces, wanting to commit the way it feels to memory and make sure that the other was actually there.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here. I never thought we would ever find each other. When I learned that our connections were through the songs we had stuck in our heads, I just lost all hope of ever finding my soulmate.”

“To be honest for a while there I did too. It wasn’t until I first heard your music that I knew. I just felt it immediately that you were my soul mate.”

“I felt that too. When I read your comments on my songs it was like every cell in my body was calling out to you. I just… God I still can’t believe it.” He grabs you and pulls you into another hug. You both stand there for a while, just enjoying the feeling of each other’s warmth. Yoongi is the first to pull away but he doesn’t let go of your hand as he leads you on a short walk over to one of the benches overlooking the river. You sit next to each other in a comfortable silence.

“I’m not dreaming am I?” He wonders out loud. You reach over and pinch his side and he jumps away from you with a startled yell. “What was that?!”

“Proving to you that you aren’t dreaming.” He begins to laugh at that and the sound still makes your heart race. “But I know what you mean. It still doesn’t feel real.” Yoongi sits back down on the bench and laces your fingers together again, resting his head on your shoulder.

“Okay I gotta know. What kind of music do you really listen to?” You let out a snort at this.

“All different genres. Definitely not most of the ones that were stuck in your head though.”

“And that was your friend’s idea?”

“Yes. They thought it would be funny to mess with you a little bit. At least show that I have a sense of humor so you at least had some idea of what kind of person I was.”

“Honestly I just thought you were a person with shitty taste in music.” You both laugh playfully at that.

“How did you get the idea? For the songs I mean?”

“Ah, Namjoon gave me the idea to talk to you through song writing. For the past.. hmm month or so? The guys have really been helping me try and think of ways to find my soulmate. I think they were tired of seeing me mope all the time. They all had found theirs so easily I was just.. stuck.” Your heart clenches, knowing that feeling all too well. You squeeze his hand as a comforting gesture.

“I know what you mean.” Yoongi returns your squeeze.

“But hey everything worked out okay in the end right? We’re finally here with each other. I want to know you better. I want to know everything. What you’re passionate about, what things you like and dislike. Where you’re from, about your family, what your childhood was like. What-“

“Whoa there. We have all night Yoongi there is no rush.”

“We um.. have more than a night though right? Like… I know we’re soulmates fated to be together and all that but you still have a choice. Do you want to keep seeing me?” Yoongi seems insecure and unsure of himself now as he plays with the rings on your fingers and refuses to meet your gaze.

“Of course I want to continue seeing you! Why would you think even for a moment I wouldn’t?” He sighs and tries to untangle his hands from yours but you just hold on tighter.

“Being in a relationship with an idol isn’t easy y/n… I don’t think you fully understand what all of this is going to entail. You’re never going to have a moment of privacy. Even when we go out together on dates someone is almost always going to figure out who I am.”

“Well no one has so far tonight right? I think you just need to wear a mask and hide who you are then it won’t be so bad. Especially if we go out at night or go to more secluded places. I know dating an idol isn’t going to be easy but I don’t care about that. I just want to be with you. I’ll take all the good and bad that comes with it.” Yoongi stops trying to hold himself back any longer. He moves his hand behind your head and tugs you in closer to him so he can finally connect his lips to yours.

The kiss is sweet, gentle but loving. It’s like he’s pouring the years of emotions he’s felt towards you into the kiss. There isn’t any sparks or crazy fireworks. Everything just goes quiet, and suddenly it’s like you two are the only ones in the world right now. Yoongi pulls away after a few short moments. Even for just a short kiss you both are a bit breathless.

“Wow. I didn’t know kissing your soulmate would feel like that.” He says in between breatths.

“Me either. That was… perfect.” Yoongi smirks.

“Perfect? Wow am I that good of a kisser?” You playfully smack his arm and he laughs. You two spend quite a while talking on that bench. Asking questions and getting to know each other better. The moon is hanging high in the sky and all the stars are shining on the two of you. The wind starts to pick up and you shiver. “Ah are you cold, sweetheart?” He takes his jacket off and drapes it around you, although you did feel your face heat up at the petname. You hope Yoongi doesn’t notice your blush and will just assume it’s because you’re cold. “We can go now if you want to.” You shake your head back and forth quickly.

“No! I mean.. I don’t want to leave you yet.” His expression softens at your confession.

“Well.. We can go back to my place? If you’re comfortable with that?” You wiggle your eyebrows suggestively at him and he moves away from you.  “Not like that!”

“I’m kidding, Yoongi! I’d love to go back with you. Even if we don’t talk at all. Even if we just sleep it doesn’t matter. I just want to be around you.”

“I’m glad you feel that way because I was thinking the same thing.” He stands off the bench and takes your hand to lead you over to the car that was waiting to take the two of you back to his house. You send your friend a quick update text, to let her know everything was okay and going well. They send you back a bunch of heart emojis and you slip the phone back in your pocket. On the way up to his door it doesn’t sneak past your notice that he hasn’t let go of your hand the entire time you two have been together.

“Do you like holding hands?” He blushes and looks away, busying himself with entering the code into the door so it unlocks.

“Um.. Yeah I do. Does it bother you?”

“Not at all. I love it actually.”

“Do you want any tea or anything to drink to help warm you up?”

“Mmm, no. I just need you.” With how much Yoongi has been smiling he’s beginning to wonder if his muscles are just going to be permanently stuck.

“Do you want to go lay down? Maybe watch a movie?”

“That sounds perfect.”

You are both laying down now, in his bed. You are actually laying with Yoongi, your soulmate. Your head resting on his chest while he was a tight grip around your waist. You are starting to fall asleep when you feel his grip suddenly tighten around you. You lift your head up to look at him.

“Everything okay?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah. Sorry did I squeeze you too hard?”

“No I just thought maybe something was wrong and you wanted my attention.” Yoongi shakes his head, but bites his lip as if he is thinking deeply about something.

“It’s not that I was upset or anything.. I just wanted to make sure that you were actually here. And that I’m not hallucinating, or just imagining all this. It still doesn’t feel real. I thought I had met my soulmate before. I was so sure but it turned out it was just someone using me for my fame.. And I was so desperate to just have that connection with someone that I ignored all the warning signs. And I know you aren’t like that. I know for 100% certain you’re my soulmate but…“

“But that nagging voice in the back of your head just keeps questioning things?” He nods in confirmation. You sit up and adjust yourself so you’re facing him. You take his face in your hands and make sure he is looking at you and can see the sincerity in your eyes. “I completely understand why you are worried. Believe me. But I would never do anything to hurt you. I would never use you like that. I promise that I am here, that I am real.” You grab his hand and place it on your heart. He closes his eyes and lets himself just feel. Your warmth, the gentle thrumming of your heart beat, the sounds of your breaths. It helps ground him.

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. If you ever have doubts or are worried about anything you can always come to me. I want to be there for you.” Yoongi smiles that gummy smile that is going to quickly make you fall head over heels in love with him in no time if he keeps directing it at you.

“Thank you y/n.” He pecks your lips and then pats his chest for you to lay back down. Pretty soon your breaths even out and you’ve fallen asleep. Yoongi holds you just a little bit closer, and places a kiss to the top of your head. “I already like you so much and it kind of scares me. But I am going to give you my whole heart, angel. I hope you’ll keep it safe.”

“Don’t worry I will.” Yoongi jumps.

“I thought you were asleep!”

“I was but I am not that heavy of a sleeper remember? I woke up when I heard you talking.” Yoongi blushes but snuggles closer to you.

“Do you want to meet the other members tomorrow?”

“I’d love to! Can I bring my friend too?”

“Of course. You all are going to be a part of the family now we might as well all meet one another.” You smile at that and nuzzle into his chest. You both fall asleep quicker than you ever have before, finally feeling the comfort and safety of being in each other’s arms.

Tag list: @anoesjkaax​​​  @just-call-me-trash-can​ @thestral-balerion​ @xcastielbabyangelface​ @rukinamukami​ @r-e-d-i-s-h​ @heartblackerthancoffee​ @rosita7703​   @jacjacwashere​   @purpletigertaetae​  @woodstockisjustlikealittlekid​  @supernatural-bangtanboys​ @loveyoongles​ @barbikatherine​ @atulipandarose​ @bookluver01​ @cioccocalderoni​ @lyoongx​

@its-yagirl-raelynn it’s not letting me tag you :c 

[ice-cream-nekogirl]

Out of My League (Midoriya Izuku X Reader X Bakugou Katsuki) PART 6

PART 6 to:  https://ice-cream-kitsunegirl.tumblr.com/post/189998729329/out-of-my-league-midoriya-izuku-x-reader-x

HERE IT IS YA’LL!! IT AIN’T OVER YET BUT I DID IT!! <3 

Taglist: @dailyojiromashirao​, @asja-the-hoarder​, @breezy-chan11414​, @captainw0lfy , @sunflowergem​, @lenkiryuu

Summary: You’re ready to dance with Izuku, but Bakugo isn’t going to allow it.  

‘Cause somehow I can’t believe That anything should happen... I know where I belong And nothing’s gonna happen Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah!

-’She’s So High’ Tal Bachman

SECONDS AGO…

“Aww… Izuku… haha well hey! Music’s gonna play, let’s get our groove on~!!” You exclaimed and shook your hips a little bit as Izuku perked up nervously, but excitedly too. All-Might taught him how to dance last-minute just yesterday so he had this!

“R-Right…!”

He exclaimed as you and he were oblivious to the way Bakugo was glaring at you when he saw you both going to the dance floor, and he didn’t hesitate to follow you both with a furious, determined glare.

If anyone was going to dance with you, it was going to be HIM.

Not Deku, HIM!

RIGHT NOW…

“Can you believe we’re actually here? I feel like I’m gonna hurl actually. Well… I don’t wanna do that on the dance-floor but we are HERE… like… this is my first dance…!” You giggled and nudged Izuku playfully with a bashful smile as he blushed even harder when you reminded him.

“I-I know…!” He exclaimed a bit louder than he intended but felt himself tremble once he saw that you and he were actually AT the dance and ON the dancefloor. And he was starting to freak out and think that he forgot how to dance…

However, you looked pretty nervous too and that kinda made him feel better? Sort of… at least you were just as nervous and uncertain as him. “I think we like… dance separately first? Literally never been to one of these before, and no one’s actually dancing at these things in the movies…” You questioned outloud since the music was starting, and this wasn’t a movie. In fact, you and Izuku saw some of your friends and other classmates, as well as other students getting on the dance-floor to either mingle or dance.

“I-I think so too…?” That’s the first time you heard Izuku sound so clueless, but you didn’t blame him. You had literally NO idea what you were doing, but you just felt excited.

And you giggled a bit when he was clearly sweating from all of this anxiety, “Okay… look Izuku, you’re not a dancer, and neither am I, but that’s okay. No one can say we can’t dance other than us, tonight I’m gonna say I CAN dance and I WILL dance.” You put your hand on his shoulder to try and make him feel better, and it worked a little bit.

Izuku seemed a bit surprised but also relieved when hearing your words of encouragement, it wouldn’t hurt to dance a bit right? He was a little shy about it but maybe it wouldn’t be bad with you there at his side, like you always were…

“Y-Yeah… okay, you’re right.” He said with a bit more determination despite the shakiness in his voice as you giggled, and perked up when you heard a song you knew very well by Fall Out Boy!

(youtube.com/watch?v=qVmnkZdbH2U)

She says she's no good with words, but I'm worse Barely stuttered out a joke of a romantic stuck to my tongue Weighed down with words too overdramatic Tonight it's it can't get much worse Versus no one should ever feel like~

“Fall Out Boy!” You chirped rather happily as you already started moving in your own awkward but endearing way when the music started, and it encouraged Izuku to start dancing in his own awkward and endearing way. He was so not a dancer…

Tonight he would be though! For you! If you could dance so could he!

I'm two quarters and a heart down And I don't want to forget how your voice sounds These words are all I have so I write them I need them just to get by

You saw Jimmy Jr dancing on Bob’s Burgers all the time, so you copied some of his moves even though you were sure they made you look like a dork, Izuku thought you looked like a dancing queen. He almost forgot that other people could see him dancing because he felt so much more at ease dancing with you.

And then he saw some other people snickering at you… No doubt some of the jerks who thought that video of you was funny. He made sure to glare at them so they wouldn’t ruin your night. No. Nothing was going to ruin your night, he wasn’t going to allow it.

So he danced along with you so you didn’t see those jerks daring to laugh at you on your night. Even if it meant waving his arms about awkwardly and moving his feet off the beat of the song.

Dance, dance We're falling apart to halftime Dance, dance And these are the lives you love to lead Dance, this is the way they'd love If they knew how misery loved me

Bakugo swore he wanted to laugh. You were never a good dancer, and it showed, especially when you were basically just making weird movements and mouthing the lyrics to the song. And yet that’s what made you who you were…?

He hated how fucking cute he thought it was, because you looked so fucking cute when you were being such an idiot, even in that dress you were fucking cute. And he fucking HATED how much Deku was smiling just dancing like an idiot with you. He was an even WORSE dancer. What the hell was that nerd doing? He looked so stupid...

Ha! He’ll show Deku a REAL dancer and take you away when this fucking song ends. Deku can’t seriously call that dancing, it was laughable and he couldn’t resist actually letting out a laugh when he outright copied you and had no rhythm whatsoever.

And he smirked when it seemed to catch the green-haired boy’s attention and he saw a look of mortification and fear on his expression. “I-It’s Kacchan…!” He whispered to you fearfully and you glanced his way to see Bakugo’s eyes widen slightly when you saw him. But then he scoffed and looked away like he wanted to ignore you.

“Forget about him Izuku…! Dance bro~!” Not wanting Bakugo to make him feel self-conscious you playfully bumped your hip against his as he jumped with a little yelp and blushed even harder. “Why don’t you show me a little bit of spine you’ve been saving for his mattress~?” You sang as you circled him a bit, giving him a little wink that made his heartbeat speed up.

He couldn’t stop now! He nodded to the rhythm so he could get back in it and tried to ignore how sexual the song sounded as you sang, “I only want sympathy in the form of you crawling into bed with me~.” With a smirk you stuck out your finger, moving it towards you in a hook to lure Izuku in closer which gave him a new rush he had never felt before despite all of the nerves running through his body. 

He closed in and forgot about the fact that he was being watched and smiled wide as you danced side by side with him, no longer paying attention to a mildly horrified Bakugo when he saw you giving Deku those looks and the fucking nerd actually reciprocated by going back to dance with you, moving his arms and hips in such a nerdy way it made him want to punch him in the face.

Dance, dance We're falling apart to halftime Dance, dance And these are the lives you love to lead Dance, this is the way they'd love If they knew how misery loved me

“Work it (L/N)!!” Kirishima happily cheered you on while he was dancing, surprised and amazed to see you actually dancing and being so confident about it. At first it made you nervous, but he was cheering you on! And you saw Yaoyorozu, Ashido, Sero and even Kaminari and Jirou smiling and encouraging you to keep dancing along with everyone else you were with.

You did it, you danced your heart out with more of a confident, proud smile. You dance moves were awkward and weird as hell, but they were yours as you didn’t see the look on Bakugo’s face when he saw you just… moving around like some kind of weirdo. The weirdo he fucking loved…

You saw him looking that time, but instead of feeling self-conscious you smirked and shook your rump right at him and he cringed with an annoyed shout as he blushed heavily, “W-What the hell are you doing idiot?! Don’t shake your ass at me!!”

Who did you think you were?!

“I’m dancing Katsuki!” You cheerfully exclaimed as you swung your hips, twirling and going back to a shocked but amused Izuku as he tried to hold back the giggle that wanted to leave him when he saw Bakugo look so flustered. He’d never seen THAT before…

“Oh you think that’s funny Deku?!” And an infuriated Bakugo immediately yelled when he saw that damn nerd daring to laugh just a little bit. “N-No! Of course not…!” Izuku however, got scared and shook his head, but you didn’t want these two to fight at all so you grabbed Izuku’s hand to pull him towards you.

“Ignore him~.” You sang breezily as you spun around and smiled at him, and he couldn’t help but smile back at you as he had no choice but to ignore the angry Bakugo to keep on dancing with you. Yeah, he would ignore Bakugo, this was your dance, and this was his dance. And it was fun! Izuku couldn’t stop himself from grinning at how you smiled at him and the two of you danced together in your own quirky ways. It was liberating and he’s never felt so... free...

However, this just made Bakugo even madder the more he saw you and Deku just dancing like idiots…

How could you ask such a loser like him out?

Dance, dance Dance, dance Dance, dance Dance, dance

Doing a silly little spin as the song came to a close you were panting. Heavily. Like, you were seriously panting as if your body finally told you that you were moving WAY too much and now you were already a little bit tired. “WHOO!” You threw your fist up though, that’s only the first dance of the night and everyone looked positively exhilarated!

Even Izuku looked genuinely happy, his cheeks were flushed and he was panting like you were, just not as badly. He felt… he felt amazing…

“We did it… we did it!” You practically jumped and grinned widely, which flustered Izuku but he couldn’t help but smile with you, “W-We danced…!” He couldn’t believe it, he actually danced with a girl! He danced with you! He never thought he’d ever dance with you! Let alone dance at all…

“I know!! Ahhhh…! Wow it’s… exhausting…” Your excitement kind of deflated once you remembered you were wearing heels and how tired you were, which made Izuku giggle a little bit. But man those high heels didn’t look like they were entirely comfortable.

“Want to… take a break and just... stand around for a little bit? W-We can dance whenever you want to.” He was such a gentleman, already he was letting you take a break since he saw that you looked a bit winded and you smiled shyly at how sweet he was. “Yeah! I could stand to sit down… and have some punch… I’ll see you shortly okay?”

You chirped a little bit with a blush on your cheeks as he smiled and blushed, “Okay, take your time!” Izuku gave you a little wave as he watched you go and get your punch, and it gave him some time to talk to a surprised and impressed Iida, Aoyama and Todoroki. “Midoriya! Those were some… interesting moves out there, if I may be honest, I never took you for the dancing type.”

Iida was honest, not hurtful, but Izuku took no offense because he was extremely accurate, “O-Oh thanks! I’m… really not but… (Y/N) wanted to and I… thought it would be fun to do it with her and… it was.” He replied rather bashfully, something that his three friends could agree on. You made it look fun…

“So that’s what dancing is?” Todoroki was an even less experienced dancer, but he nonetheless thought the way you did it looked… fun? Embarrassing but fun, “Um… I think so. (Y/N) says that there’s no such thing as a bad dancer…” His friend answered his question, which made Todoroki blush ever so slightly when he imagined himself moving in such a way…

It looked oddly freeing, but he wasn’t sure if he had that kind of courage to do that… but if someone as shy as Midoriya and someone as awkward as you could do it, then he could too?

“She’s right~! And she looks gorgeous no?” Aoyama was the first to praise you on how pretty you looked, and Izuku blushed quite madly at his question that he very much agreed on. “V-Very…” He mumbled rather shyly as he almost couldn’t even look at you when he saw you smiling and waving at your friends.

“Powerful too. She’s such a shy little thing… but her confidence is sparkling brighter than the stars tonight~.” Aoyama almost sounded like he was proud of you. He’d been observing you in class, not in a creepy way or anything, but you were close to Izuku, his closest friend so he noticed you too. You were awkward and had no confidence in yourself, something the blonde could relate to and understand.

It made him want to reach out to you and be your friend, and he did! He liked to think that you and he were good friends since you were friendly to him and he was always polite to you. And he was so happy to see you and Izuku so happy together, you both deserved it.

“You know… you’re right…” Izuku saw what Aoyama was saying, and he was right. You WERE confident, much more than you had been in the past years that he had known you and he was so happy. You deserved to be happy and comfortable in your skin like you were tonight.

And he smiled at you as you were at the punch table and there was Shinsou manning the table to pour the drinks.

“Hey it’s you!” You perked up the second you saw the tired-looking boy who seemed rather surprised to see you… looking like that…

He was silent for a few seconds when he remembered how you looked before you suddenly turned into… this… Shinsou thought you were cute the way you looked earlier but… this was a really, really nice look on you too…

“O-Oh.” Did he really just stutter? Idiot! “Yeah it’s me, and it’s you… dressed like Cinderella?” Shinsou patted himself on the back for regaining his composure so quickly, even smirking a bit as if to tease you a little bit.

You pouted a bit when he noted how different you looked all dressed up and dolled up, “Haha yeah, yeah… my pumpkin carriage is outside.” So you retorted with a snarky tone as he snickered, “I have a pumpkin carriage too, so I’m sure you saw it out there, you can’t miss it.” He remarked just as sarcastically as you laughed a little bit.

“No offense but I didn’t take you as the type who’d come to these things…?” You hoped that wasn’t rude, but Shinsou seemed like the kind of guy who was over all this stuff. Then again, so were you, but you had been secretly wanting it more than you thought so…

He didn’t seem offended though, “Oh I’m not… I’m just handing out the refreshments. Everyone else can dance but… I’m fine just being the drink guy.” Shinsou wasn’t one for dancing at all, he wasn’t shy to admit it because dancing was embarrassing and he wasn’t the type of guy to just get up and dance and embarrass himself like that. So, he was happy just behind this table and pouring you two drinks of punch as you thanked him.

“Let me guess, Kaminari also dragged you here?” However, you seemed to read him like a book since you were aware that he was good friends with Kaminari, “You got me.” Still, Shinsou smiled and raised his hands in defeat when you caught him. Kaminari DID drag him here, but Shinsou quickly took up the responsibility of handing out drinks and helping give away the snacks and plates so he didn’t have to actually dance or mingle much with anyone.

He didn’t really mind talking to you though, you kind of interested him. “Actually… I was kinda hoping I’d look a little more like Daenerys Targaryen.” You shrugged with a smile, and to your relief, Shinsou seemed to actually see it.

“Oh I see it now…” Guess he’s seen the show, given how he was kind of dressed down with smart black pants and a black shirt that said ‘I Drink and I Know Things’. HA! You loved it…

“Hee-hee, well thank you for this ‘wine’, and I will go back and dance once I feel feeling back in my feet.” You then thanked him once again for your punch as you waved at him, and he waved back with a little smile.

“Try not to burn the place down… Khaleesi.” Shinsou said an inside-joke since he’s actually seen the show and you grinned and gave him a thumbs-up and a nod. He called you Khaleesi!!

You nearly spun around happily, but you didn’t want to spill your punch or the punch you got for Izuku so you had to stay cool and not look like an idiot. Although there was a bit more of a spring to your step when you saw Izuku talking casually with Todoroki, Iida and Aoyama. Why and how did your friend make you feel so nervous? Oh right, because you actually really loved him, he was so sweet, but also really cute and actually really hot too. He had muscles now…

“Okay… I got this… I’m a Khaleesi…” You said to yourself confidently and quickly downed your entire cup of punch in three big gulps, still holding the other one for Izuku. Maybe you could surprise him…

“Hey idiot.” But you became the surprised one when you heard no one other than Bakugo’s voice over the music as you nearly jumped and spilled both the other full cup. “Damn you Katsuki! I’m holding punch!” You exclaimed, not angrily but slightly annoyed at least until you saw him actually… wearing a suit…

“Oh my God you’re wearing a suit…” Of course he wore no tie, but it was so weird seeing Bakugo up close in that suit, “Yeah?! Well you’re… wearing a dress!!” However, Bakugo had to yell at you, and apparently, he thought it was just as weird seeing you in a dress.

You weren’t offended though, dresses weren’t something you normally wore unless it was kind of dowdy, this definitely was the nicest thing you’ve probably worn in your entire life. “Well I DID choose the theme so… I think it’s obligatory I wear something that matches it.” You shrugged with a little smile as he scoffed. “Of course you chose this theme…” He knew what you liked, more than you thought he did so you were surprised.

Your grin grew as you shrugged your shoulders again, and you wanted to say something but you didn’t really know what to say. Katsuki wasn’t exactly the easiest guy to talk to, and plus it was still a little awkward for you too. On top of that, you needed to go give this punch to Izuku and you were going to but Bakugo wasn’t going to let you go so fast.

“Where are you going? Don’t you know it’s rude to just leave someone who’s talkin’ to ya?” He said somewhat roughly, and you gave him a look and a small smirk, “You’re one to talk about being rude.” You replied with 100 proof sass which irked him. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”

You snickered and tried not to laugh, sometimes Bakugo had no self-awareness. “Sorry… it’s just that I got punch to give and-.” Before you could finish your sentence, the cup in your hand suddenly disappeared as Bakugo just took it from you without even asking and gave it to the closest person near him, which was Kaminari.

“Thanks?” The confused electric blonde replied but Bakugo ignored him, and you just looked annoyed. “Hey!” Putting your hands on your hips you gave him a disapproving glare and dammit he couldn’t get enough of how you looked in that dress…

But you couldn’t really tell as you just sighed, this was just Bakugo being Bakugo and you were sure Shinsou would be nice enough to give you another cup, you just felt bad that Izuku’s punch was given to someone else. “Well look I’m gonna go-“

“Dance with me.”

He cut you off again as he outright asked you to dance with him, and you perked up a bit in shock. No way, you didn’t hear that right… you were certain you didn’t. “What?” So you asked again, but this irritated the already annoyed Bakugo as you swore you saw his cheeks flushing with vexation.

“I said dance with me Shitty Girl!” He raised his voice as he grew a little more flustered and you just grew even more shocked and confused. He was asking YOU to dance with him? Who was this?

The confused look on your face both infuriated him and kinda hurt him, mostly because he knew that the only reason you were so shocked is because he was always putting you down in the past. “Why… would you want to dance with me?” Your question hurt even more as your eyebrows furrowed, clearly you were skeptical and that stung even harder.

He growled as he made sure to mask his guilt with more anger and annoyance, “Who the hell cares why?! I just want to!” Bakugo didn’t want to shout at you, but he didn’t want to see you look at him all sad and confused anymore. He didn’t want to make you feel like that anymore.

Yet, you were still kind of confused because you could still remember what he said to you those years ago.

“I wouldn’t dance with you if you were the last girl on earth.”

The beat of your heart suddenly got louder in your ears, and you could feel it speeding up the more you looked at Bakugo with anxiety in your (E/C) eyes. “Um… uhhh…” You started to stutter again, dammit why did you have to start stuttering again of all times?! But to your surprise Bakugo remained almost patient even as you stuttered.

And yet still when you looked at him you could see that arrogant smirk he gave you when he called you gross and a dork. Oh no you were starting to sweat, even with your deodorant on you could feel it. You blinked your eyes and instead of that smug smile, Bakugo was still just looking right at you, almost concerned but mostly annoyed. He couldn’t believe it… he had you speechless, and not in a good way…

“Okay.”

You forced yourself though to say ‘yes’ to his demand, no. Bakugo was an asshole, he’s still an asshole but something about him changed a little bit. He wasn’t asking you just to embarrass you, he was honest to a fault so you believed that he did want to dance with you. You didn’t know why but he did, but it was flattering in an odd way. Besides, you couldn’t just avoid and ignore him forever, he was kind of your friend still. And part of you was still attracted to him, and you still cared about him despite everything.

“I’ll dance with you.” Still you tried to sound all cool, and you saw his arrogant smirk come back to him, but this time it wasn’t mocking you. “Good.” His smirk grew as he took your hand in his somewhat roughly, which sent blood rushing to your cheeks as he lead you to the dancefloor and you couldn’t help but smile.

“I’ll show you how to actually dance.” Bakugo never lost that arrogance, but this was him being weirdly nice to you as you found yourself on the dancefloor. With Bakugo. Katsuki Bakugo. Something you never really imagined. Well, you did imagine it once back in middle school before he crushed that, and yet you were here with him now.

You were going to dance with him.

(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg59q4puhmg)

Hey, hey, You, you! I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, You, you! I could be your girlfriend

Hey, hey, You, you! I know that you like me No way, no way! No, it’s not a secret Hey, hey, You, you! I want to be your girlfriend 

“Oh my God it’s Avril!” You suddenly jumped a little bit when you heard another blast from the past as you tried not to squeal, and you blushed when you heard Bakugo snicker. “God you’re such a fucking dork…” He said that with affection? No true meanness when he called you a dork…

Instead of feeling sad, you actually smiled brightly at him. It was a late dream come true, he liked you for you and finally accept your flaws.

“Don’t flail your arms around like some kind of car commercial thing. Just get into the rhythm.” He advised you as he started to move to the rhythm of the song, and gestured you to follow his moves which made your eyes widen at how fast he was going and what kind of moves he was showing you.

The things he did with his legs, and how fast he could move his body, definitely took quite sometime to follow as your moves were extremely awkward at first but he was surprisingly patient with you even he was smirking and outright laughing at some of your more awkward attempts.

You're so fine, I want you mine You're so delicious I think about you all the time You're so addictive Don't you know what I can do To make you feel all right. 

It wouldn’t happen overnight, but you were able to follow him even though you pouted everytime he laughed at you. Still, happiness and glee filled your beating heart when he did because he was being… actually kind of sweet as he actually smiled when you got it? He was smiling at you.

You were dancing with him, side to side and following the rhythm and beat of the song, bouncing and moving more fluidly and with more energy with a big smile on your face. You were dancing! And you were dancing good!

Good with him! You were dancing with Bakugo and you were starting to realize wow you were actually pretty good at this!

Don't pretend I think you know I'm damn precious And, hell yeah I'm the motherfuckin' princess I can tell you like me too And you know I'm right

Bakugo couldn’t hide his pride, he didn’t really enjoy dancing but he was good at it and knew how to do it really good. He’d be good at anything he tried even if he didn’t want to try it. And his pride swelled when he could see and hear his awed classmates when they saw him dancing with you, and you dancing good because of him.

“She's like so, whatever, You could do so much better~.” Although you wouldn’t ever stop singing or mouthing the lyrics to songs you loved even as you danced. Bakugo rolled his eyes when he saw you mouthing the words, but his smile-smirk didn’t leave his lips. “I think we should get together now. And that's what everyone's talkin' about~!”

His thoughts exactly. They might have belonged to a song, but this should show Deku that he was better than him, and that he would win you over.

Hey, hey, You, you! I don't like your girlfriend No way, no way! I think you need a new one Hey, hey, You, you! I could be your girlfriend

Izuku was almost distracted as he was talking to Iida, Todoroki and Aoyama, at least until Todoroki noticed that you were dancing with Bakugo. A lot better too for that matter, you seemed more in tune with the song. He felt like maybe he shouldn’t tell Izuku because… it felt kind of wrong and he was almost worried that it would make him sad to see his date dancing with his rival.

However, Uraraka was ready to approach Izuku so she can say ‘hi’ and see what her friends were talking about, but then like Todoroki, she saw you dancing with Bakugo and she gasped in horror… what was he doing?! Didn’t he know that you were here with Izuku?!

Oh she couldn’t let that happen, sure you asked Izuku but you were both her friends, and she wasn’t going to let you guys have your nights ruined because of Bakugo. “Deku!” She didn’t want to look angry though so she looked as cheerful as always as he perked up upon seeing his good friend.

“Uraraka! Hi there.” He greeted her with a sweet smile that made her cheeks warm and her smile turned shy. She wished she asked him out before, but it was too late and she was at least happy he was here with you. And that’s why she needed to make sure he had a good dance!

“Hi…” Damn, she wanted to tell him straight-up that Bakugo was dancing with you, but his smile looked so happy she couldn’t just bluntly tell him that now. “Midoriya… it looks like Bakugo is dancing with (Y/N).” Thankfully Aoyama had no problem being blunt as he pointed at you dancing with his rival…

Hey, hey, You, you! I know that you like me No way, no way! No, it’s not a secret Hey, hey, You, you! I want to be your girlfriend

Izuku didn’t mean to gasp so loud as his green eyes widened once he saw you dancing with Bakugo and smiling so brightly that he nearly teared up. That’s right… he always thought you had a crush on Bakugo. Any joy he had slowly started to drain when he saw his rival dancing beside you, smiling too…

He’s never seen him smile like that, and he’s never seen you smile like that…

His friends saw how shocked and hurt he looked, and they couldn’t help but frown when they could practically feel his sadness.

“You gotta go get her Deku! She was having fun with you too on the dancefloor! If not more!” Uraraka had to perk him up, so she spoke first, followed by a determined Aoyama, “She’s right! You came here with (Y/N), you will dance here with her.” His voice was soft, but his tone was encouraging.

“Exactly! Bakugo is playing a dirty game. I normally don’t condone such silly games, but a man trying to take away another man’s dancing partner is just despicable. I believe in you Midoriya.” Even Iida was trying to encourage Izuku to go and win you back because while the romantic aspects went over his head, he knew how much Izuku valued you as a dear friend and he knew that Bakugo liked to do things just to spite him sometimes.

“Go get her Midoriya. Don’t let Bakugo win, she asked you out didn’t she? Show her why.” Todoroki was surprisingly more aware of his feelings for you, and Izuku told them that you had asked him out. And frankly Todoroki could see why, Izuku was a nice guy and he was glad that you did. So… he needed to encourage his friend to go get you back.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? He's so stupid What the hell were you thinkin'?

Izuku tried not to tear up at how supportive his friends were being, and how much their words touched his heart. That’s right, you DID ask him out, and he knew Bakugo was just trying to take you away because NOW he decided to be nice to you? When he himself has been nice to you from the beginning? That was messed up…

Sure Izuku was glad that Bakugo was treating you better now because you deserved to be treated with respect, but Izuku knew from the beginning that his rival wasn’t even all that interested in you. Why the sudden change of heart he had no idea. 

He didn’t blame you for having a crush on Bakugo, after all he was amazing, but Izuku wasn’t going to let him win. After all, he could do better than him now.

He could treat you better AND dance with you better.

In a second you'll be wrapped around my finger Cause I can, 'cause I can do it better There's no other, so when's it gonna sink in? He's so stupid What the hell were you thinkin'?!

However, Bakugo nearly forgot that Deku existed as he danced with you and watched you throw your fist in the air and jumped in rhythm with the song and having the time of your life as he smirked at you the entire time and danced right beside you. Energetic yet powerful with his fluid, aggressive moves.

Although he did make sure to glare at others who dared to snicker at you because of the video, but you didn’t care at all about them anymore and he fucking loved it. Those assholes clearly didn’t know what a real woman was.

He was partially ashamed to say that he didn’t either but he was grown up and knew better now. And Bakugo’s also secretly always known that you liked you, he wasn’t oblivious. He was cruel to you so… that needed to change. Because… he’s come to realize that he’s always liked you too. It was one of the many reasons he was always extra mean to Deku.

After all, Bakugo was better than him, so he couldn’t help but wonder what were you thinking asking Deku out? That didn’t matter now at the moment though, you were dancing with HIM now and you were awesome. He was awesome. 

Hey, hey! You, you! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one 

“Hey!” Izuku had to raise his voice over the music which caught your attention as you perked up from where you were dancing and your (E/C) eyes widened with excitement while Bakugo’s pride and excitement was suddenly shot the second he was met with the nerd’s face…

“Izuku!”

“Deku?!”

You excitedly called his name but Bakugo was much less pleased to see him, “Mind if I dance with you both?” As much as Izuku wanted to kind of get Bakugo to back off, he didn’t want to get into some kind of fight because he wouldn’t do that in front of you.

“Sure!” And you happily nodded at the thought, although this just pissed off Bakugo, “No! Go dance with your friends or something and get lost you nerd!” He didn’t change that much, to Bakugo, Izuku was still a nerd. And on top of that, he saw what he was doing, well he wasn’t going to let him take you away.

Izuku was well aware that Bakugo wasn’t going to give you up so easily, but he wasn’t afraid of him right now. You were HIS date, he wasn’t possessive about it but Bakugo couldn’t do that. He couldn’t take you away when you asked HIM out first!

“But I was dancing with (Y/N). She asked me out after all.” He replied to him assertively and showed no traces of backing down which just further irritated Bakugo. This little nerd definitely had more spunk than he did back then.

“I did ask him out…” Then you couldn’t deny that, nor would you as you smiled at Izuku, although you were starting to get nervous that your guy-friends were going to get in some kind of kerfuffle. They always did…

Hey, hey You, you I could be your girlfriend

“Yeah? Well in case you missed it Deku, I’m the better dancer. Didn’t you see us? That’s how you dance you loser! Instead of this…” Bakugo had to drive the nail in by imitating Izuku’s… admittedly corny dancing by mocking the way he would move his arms and shake them in the air like he was trying to fight with someone and then moving his feet off the song’s rhythm.

“I mean what the hell is that?”

He asked him snidely as Izuku couldn’t help but blush over as he looked quite embarrassed to have his awkward moves mocked by his rival. “Hey… I dance like that too!” You couldn’t let Bakugo mock Izuku like that though. Teasing someone about being a bad dancer was one thing, being a jerk about it was another.

“The difference is (Y/N)… you’re better at dancing than I am.” Izuku had the grace to admit that with a bashful smile. Poor sweet boy was too modest for his own good. “There’s no such thing as good or bad dancing dude.” So you reassured him but Bakugo rolled his eyes. Why were you so nice to Deku?

“Ha! You’re too nice to this nerd (Y/N)… I’ll show you who’s the better dancer, you hear me?” Bakugo’s smirk KINDA unnerved you and you were wondering why was he making such a big deal out of this? “Why?”

“Why?! Well why did you ask Deku out?! Seriously?! Deku?!” There it was, he finally asked you outloud but it didn’t really please you as you put your hands on your hips.

No way, no way~

“How about? Because I’ve got my own damn agency and I can ask whoever the hell I want out to a dance?” You said it plain and simple and that little bit of sass and assertiveness just KINDA surprised him since he’s mostly seen your meek side but he saw your confidence at the mall so it still surprised him to see it directed at him.  

However he growled when the fucking nerd had the gall to cross his arms and nod in agreement with you, even though Bakugo REALLY couldn’t say anything against that. You DID have your own agency and COULD ask whoever you wanted out.

“C’mon (Y/N)… Deku can’t dance for shit! If you’re going to dance with someone, it should at least be with someone who CAN dance!” Still he wasn’t going to lose you so willingly, and then finally you picked up on it. He was JEALOUS…

Your eyes went SLIGHTLY wide at the thought and you ALMOST snickered. No way, this wasn’t happening, you looked over at Izuku who wasn’t yielding to Bakugo’s insults, “Actually I CAN Kacchan. Yes, I’m not the best, but it doesn’t mean I can’t, and I’m not going to be on the sidelines. I’m dancing with (Y/N).” He stood his ground and you found yourself in the middle, and smiling more than you should have.

“Okay, okay… you guys are getting outta hand here, you men… always competing over whose is bigger.” You snickered and laughed when the two boys blushed quite madly at your remark, “The only way I’m going to stay interested in this is if I get involved… let’s just dance together all right? Can we do that?” As flattered as you were, and happy, you didn’t want your friends to fight as you had to place peacekeeper until one of them gets stupid.

Hey, hey! You, you! I know that you like me

The two boys looked at you, Izuku looked concerned and mildly conflicted (because of Bakugo) but Bakugo just looked irritated. If there’s one thing they could agree on, it’s that neither of them wanted to just ruin this dance for you. So they reluctantly nodded.

“Of course (Y/N).”

“Fine…”

Izuku and Bakugo respectively mumbled as you smiled and twirled around happily, “All riiiight now it’s a dance~. C’mon boys~.” You beamed with the brightest smile they’ve ever seen on you as Izuku warmly blushed with a coy grin and Bakugo scoffed as heat dusted his cheeks. They could just dance with you, sure they could be civil…

No way, no way! No, it's not a secret Hey, hey! You, you! I want to be your girlfriend They couldn’t be civil. Pretty soon while you were having fun dancing with Izuku, you also switched over to Bakugo to dance with him too as everyone else started dancing in tune with the ridiculously catchy song and when it was Izuku’s turn to dance with you. He couldn’t take it anymore, he hated how the nerd was over the moon dancing like an idiot with you, shaking his arms as you performed the same moves with an equally big smile.

Once your backs were turned for just a moment, the ash-blonde smirked as once it was his turn, he roughly shoved the green-haired boy onto someone who was carrying punch.

You couldn’t hear Izuku gasp in shock as he stared down at his soiled suit that had sticky, red liquid spreading all over the white and seeping into his skin and getting him dirty. His suit, it was ruined...  

Ohhh Bakugo was going to pay…

Izuku wasn’t the type to get back at someone but his mom brought him this suit, and he wore this for you and YOUR night…

No way, no way~!

As you danced with Bakugo side by side and following his lead, you noticed the rest of the Bakusquad joining to follow in a group dance and it was so fucking fun. “You got this (Y/N)!” Ashido exclaimed happily as she bumped her hip with yours as you couldn’t help but scream with excitement.

“Thanks girl~!” You shouted a bit louder than normal because you were so happy that it rubbed off on the other energetic boys. “Way to dance (L/N)!”

“Kick Ass!!”

“Mother of Dragons in the house~!”

Kirishima, Kaminari and Sero were so sweet, you were glad that Bakugo was kind enough to let them dance with you, although he made sure to stay beside you while you both danced. And he moved a little closer, still moving his body as your smile didn’t fade but your cheeks started to darken at how close he got.

He definitely changed from the little asshole he used to be. Well, still WAS an asshole but he clearly had more respect for you now and seemed to really care about you as it showed when his eyes turned a bit gentler as his smirk turned into a softer smile.

Hey, Hey! You, You! I don't like your girlfriend! No way, no way! I think you need a new one!

Trembling as he stared at the damage done on his punch-stained shirt, Izuku took in a shaking breath, eyes widening with a new kind of fury when he saw the way Bakugo moved in so close to you. So much for agreeing to be civil. That was it, he’s let Bakugo get away with plenty of shit before but not this time!

“Deku!” He turned his head sharply when he heard no one other than Uraraka call out to him, and she was with Iida, Todoroki and Aoyama, each of them looking both sympathetic and kind of upset when they saw his shirt. No doubt because of Bakugo.

“We’ll help you.” Was all Todoroki had to say to his poor friend as he looked at the stain on his shirt, “Ruining a shirt on top of taking your dancing partner?! Of course we’ll help!” Iida was of course pissed when he saw that Izuku’s shirt was ruined at how Bakugo stole you from him.

“Oui! This cannot be ignored, come mon ami.” Aoyama sounded more determined than before as Izuku nodded with a somewhat angered look because they were right. “Right!” He exclaimed as he sped-walked over to you and Bakugo. This was it.

Hey, hey! You, you! I could be your girlfriend No way, no way!

As Bakugo stood by you so close, you began to feel a bit of a discomfort stirring within you. This didn’t feel right, and then you remembered you had to dance with Izuku too, you weren’t going to just ditch him. That’d be a really shitty thing to do.

However, you perked up when Bakugo suddenly let out a surprised shout as Todoroki ‘accidentally’ bumped into Bakugo, “Sorry.” The dual-haired boy said to the extra-irritated blonde, “What the hell Icyhot?! Watch where you’re going!!” He screamed angrily at his classmate as you snickered a bit, only to gasp when you saw Izuku move in closer to you.

“Hey (Y/N)!” He was smiling brightly at you even though all you saw was the stain on his shirt, “Izuku your shirt!” You cringed a bit at how bad it looked and how uncomfortable that must have been for your poor friend but he pretended like it was all okay.

“It’s okay! Don’t worry about it, I want to dance with you.” He rushed his words as he offered his hand to you as you looked VERY surprised by this as you felt yourself blushing but it was fair, you smiled widely and nodded and you squeaked a bit when you took his hand and let him lead you away rather quickly and rather far away from Bakugo...

Hey, hey! You, you! I know that you like me No way, no way! No, it's not a secret

“Just shut up already!” Bakugo continued to shout at Todoroki, who was trying to stall for Izuku until he successfully whisked you away a little bit further as the ash-blonde perked up when he saw you weren’t there. And his red eyes widened and he started to vibrate with rage when he realized that Izuku took you away.

On purpose! That little fucker did this on purpose!

He so did, Izuku almost felt bad for resorting to this kind of deception but after Bakugo ruined his shirt and tried to take you away because YOU asked HIM first, he couldn’t just let him push him around anymore. He wanted to have a good time with you and he was! 

The music and your smile was giving him motivation to dance how he wanted with you, and he showed off some better moves that he learned from All-Might as you burst into laughter. Not mocking you were just happy to see your shy friend cut loose and dance!

Hey, hey! You, you! I want to be your girlfriend No way, no way!

“Work it Zuku~!!” You loudly cheered him on as he waved his arms and his legs in a fairly impressive and fluid manner as he no longer felt so timid to do it. And his newfound confidence rubbed off on you as you bow-and-arrowed and did the Paul Rudd dance much to Izuku’s great amusement as he couldn’t stop himself from laughing in glee.

You truly were the cutest and most amazing girl he’s ever seen in his life and he was so happy as he twirled you around right as the song ended, “Hey hey~!” You cheered as you jumped and threw your fist in the air, and Izuku couldn’t help but do the same, pumping his fist triumphantly (just like Avril) and throwing it up in the air as you hugged his arm.

He had you now.

Meanwhile…

Bakugo growled viciously when he saw AND heard Izuku laughing and dancing with you when that was supposed to be HIM dancing with you! Damn nerd! And on top of that he saw the way stupid Iida, Uraraka and Aoyama were more or less keeping their eye on him.

“Bakugo as Class Rep I can’t-“ Iida attempted to stop him when Bakugo marched his way towards you and Izuku but the blonde rudely bumped shoulders with him. “Back off Four Eyes!” He shouted at his appalled classmate and it was just Aoyama and Uraraka.

“Don’t even think about it!” Uraraka stood her ground and Aoyama was backing her up as they both crossed their arms. “Leave them alone please.”

Annoyed and unwilling to deal with them, Bakugo let out a snarl as he raised his fist threateningly at the two which made them both flinch and reluctantly back off and their angry classmate passed right through them both.

This didn’t go unnoticed by other classmates as Tsuyu, Tokoyami, Ojiro and Jirou saw and looked on in disappointment as Shinsou shook his head at what was going on between you and those two idiots. Pretty soon both Bakugo AND Midoriya were going the ruin the whole night for you…

“That’s it…”

TO BE CONTINUED...

[ephemeral-afterlight]

Day 15: Scars

(I know you think you’re alone.)

Whumptober 2019 Day 15: Scars

Word Count: 2458

Relationships: Creativitwins (familial) NOT remrom don't tag as remrom or i'll steal your bones and use them to make Halloween decorations

Warnings: Self-harm (c/tting, it doesn't actually happen but it is referenced outright many times. there is mild/non-graphic description of it as well, and scars are referenced multiple times too), mention of self-hatred, mentions of emotional breakdowns, cursing, mild inappropriate language. Lmk if I forgot any!

A/N: i'm not too upset about this one! it's not my best, but it's certainly not my worst. can y'all tell i love writing creativitwins brother dynamic?

dedicated to @illogical-anxieties. love you, dumbass ♥

There’s something calming about running your fingers across the raised lines, about observing the streaks of light painted thin on your skin. It has an almost soothing effect, at least for Roman, and despite the irony of it, hyperfixating on those scars can help prevent him creating more. And creation, being such a prevalent aspect in his function as a side, is definitely not a force to be reckoned with. So he counteracts it the only way he knows how, runs his fingertips softly along the ridges on his forearms, and just breathes. Usually.

Except right now, as he sits here huddled in the corner of his room, it’s not working. It’s not doing what it should be, isn’t tempering his hyperventilation, isn’t nullifying the pain echoing in his heart. Roman doesn’t know what to do. He’s tried hydrating, splashing cold water on his face, holding an ice cube to his skin, and singing Disney songs to distract himself, but nothing is working. Everything feels tense right now, dangerous after his fourth breakdown this week, and he just… wants this all to end.

Roman doesn’t want to feel like this anymore. He doesn’t want to have the urge to dig into his skin, to take a blade to his shoulder until the apathy comes to drown his self-hatred. He doesn’t want to feed his addiction, to give up this easily, but… he yearns. He yearns so deeply for that cold, unforgiving brush on his fragile canvas, for the numbness that comes with it.

He’s in the bathroom rummaging through his drawers like a madman before he even realizes what he’s doing.

And maybe he should think this through more, try harder to resist, but it’s so tempting. He isn’t just helpless toward his relapse, he wants it, and for the first time in seven months, a silver edge comes within an inch of his marred skin. But of course, of course he forgot to lock the door, and his brother barges in the room without a single knock or warning beforehand. He’s jittery, and looks like he’s about to yell something, but then his whole demeanour shifts when he sees Roman bowed over his vanity sink with a razor in his grip. His sleeve is rolled up, and his scars are on full display, and Remus shoots forward to knock the blade out of Roman’s hand with an almost desperate snarl.

“You idiot, what are you doing?!” Remus hisses as he grabs his counterpart’s arm roughly, drags him out of the bathroom and shoves him onto the bed without a hint of gentle treatment to be found. Roman rubs harshly at his forearms and glares at his lap with dull, dark eyes, and slaps his brother’s hand away when he tries to pry his grip off of his damaged limb. “I’m supposed to be the violent one, what the hell do you think you’re accomplishing with this?”

“I’m trying to be better? This is the only way I can-- I can fucking think. I tried. I fucking tried everything I could, every grounding technique and distraction, and nothing’s working. I can’t… I can’t do this,” Roman spits back, anger dissolving easily into resignation. Remus takes a loud, deep breath, clenches his fists so tightly his knuckles go white, and sits there in an odd, silent suspension for some amount of seconds. Once he’s seemingly calmed down, his brother deflates and it’s like all of the stiffness trickles out of him in one fell swoop. It’s strange to watch, considering how easily both of them lose their tempers.

Remus just stares at him, flat gaze boring into Roman’s own, and it feels like there should be some exchange happening here. It’s almost as if Remus is searching for something, something that even Roman himself can’t see. After another long moment where they just observe each other, his brother clicks his tongue in a sudden movement that almost startles. He looks like he’s sizing Roman up, gathering intel with eyes that are bathed in the tempest, and then he’s speaking again. “You haven’t tried everything, I bet. I’ll show you.”

“Remus, you don’t have to do that. Just… let me be. If I wanted to, I could easily wave them away, so. It doesn’t even matter,” Roman mumbles, fingers flitting up to unconsciously trace the scars on his arm, and his counterpart just scoffs.

“Yeah, no shit, of course you can wave them away. But you haven’t, and you won’t, so just shut up and come on,” Remus replies, scalding and protective at the same time, and Roman doesn’t understand. They’re supposed to hate each other. They’re not supposed to hang out, not like… not like they did when they were younger. Their days of running around the Imagination waving plastic weapons at their combined villainous creations have been over for a long time, so why does he even care?

Roman doesn’t know, but he still stands and follows his brother anyway.

They go to the light sides’ common room first, the living room devoid of any presence other than the twins’ own. The others are up in the real world watching a movie with Thomas, if he remembers correctly, so they probably won’t be back until late. Remus gestures to the couch and waits for Roman to sit hesitantly before flopping down himself.

“Try screaming,” Remus tells him plainly, and Roman just gives him an incredulous look. What? What does that mean? Scream? Why? Apparently his brother can easily read the confusion on his face, because he just rolls his eyes and snatches up a throw pillow to place in Roman’s still hands. “Scream. Into the pillow. It helps, so just do it. Here, I’ll do it too, see?”

And Remus just stares at his own pillow resolutely, takes a huge breath, and then smashes his face into the fabric. The pillow doesn’t muffle the sound by very much, but it’s still at a similar volume to his speaking voice, and Roman wrinkles his nose in disgust. Is he joking? And-- no, of course he’s fucking not, he’s Remus. Well… he might as well do it. Roman figures if he’s gonna looks stupid anyway, it should probably be along with someone else, and his brother always looks stupid, so maybe his presence’ll mitigate it a bit.

So he screams. He lets loose a long yell into the stuffed cushion, shouts even louder when Remus laughs beside him and starts yelling into his own pillow again, and this whole situation is awful. They must look so dumb, two twins screaming intermittently into pillows as almost a response to one another, and Roman has to admit, it’s more funny than it is mortifying. Shocking, sure, but Remus somehow manages to make even the silliest things sound serious, so Roman doesn’t even know why he’s surprised in the slightest.

“So? Feel any better?” Remus asks cheerfully when they finally stop to breathe, both sitting back against the couch panting as they clutch their respective pillows to their chests. Roman groans and throws his head back, inhales slowly while he gives the ceiling a scathing glance, and Remus tilts his head in confusion not unlike how a dog would.

“I mean-- I don’t know, I guess? A little bit, but…” Roman trails off and Remus jumps to his feet. His pillow is thrown at the wall as harshly as possible, discarded viciously to smack against and shatter a picture frame. Roman starts with the noise, and then gives his counterpart a disapproving glare. Remus stares him down for a second, then hunches over and groans when he realizes Roman isn’t going to back down on this one, and he moves over to fix the damage with a wave of his hand as he rolls his eyes.

“Right, well. Still not good, huh? Let’s try something else. Follow!” Remus shouts far too loudly, a fairly unreachable sentiment when is comes from Roman himself, and the two of them leave the room.

They go outside next, trek around the house in the beating sun, and Roman sweats from both the heat and the mischievous look in his brother’s eye. The two stop in the backyard beside the porch, and Remus sizes up a blank stretch of brick wall as Roman just shakes the collar of his jacket in an attempt to air it out a little. Remus nods to himself after a couple moments of deliberation, and then summons what seem to be brightly coloured water balloons sloshing around in a blue plastic bucket.

“Water balloons? I don’t want to get wet right now, Remus,” Roman sighs, ignores the suggestive eyebrow wiggle he gets in return, and he crosses his arms when his counterpart grabs a balloon from off the top of the pile.

“Haha, no, dumbass! You’re so silly, of course they’re not water balloons-- they’re paint balloons!” And Roman has to leap forward and snatch the balloon away as Remus is winding up to launch it, berating his pouting brother as he replaces the paint balloons with actual water balloons. Roman doesn’t bother with words, just gives Remus a withering look when he huffs and waves his hand over the balloons again. “Fine. Compromise.”

“There better not be paint in those again, Remus, or I might literally strangle you. Ah-- before you say it, no, not in ‘the fun way’.”

And there isn’t. They’re water balloons, still, but they’re also filled with so many different colours of glitter, and Roman has to admit that the way the sun shines and refracts off of the little flecks coating the side of the building is pretty awesome. But… as pretty as it is, Roman can still feel that itch, that wanting, so they clean up (read: Roman cleans up while Remus tries to swallow a balloon whole. Wait, can Deceit do that?) and head back inside, having managed to stay decently dry.

So they try again. Remus takes him to his own room, drags out a huge canvas and easel from god knows where and swats the dust and cobwebs away from the slightly yellowed surface. It isn’t hard to guess what they’re doing, and Roman wonders if Remus only puts out shades of red acrylic for a reason. He has to admit, though, smearing the page with so many different hues to make an abstract mess of bright claret is surprisingly fun, though he’d never admit that to Remus.

They also attempt to make cupcakes, but that’s all more of Virgil’s thing than anyone else’s. Stress baking is a common occurrence, to the point where Virgil has actually gotten to be extremely skilled, and it does make for a humorous juxtaposition to the other two. Logan is great at cooking because it can not only be precise and measured, but also a creative outlet, and despite his insistence that he is Logic and Logic only, Roman knows that even Logan can create some really amazing, unique things if he tries. Patton, on the other hand… oh boy. Despite his position as a parental fixture within their group, he is awful at making nearly everything related to food. He’s too prone to experimentation and disregarding recipes and measurements outright, which is why baking is always a disaster, and he gets too scared around heat to really cook a proper meal. He does make some really good parfaits, though.

So although he has years under his belt of watching those three do their thing, of learning what to do from Virgil and Logan and what not to do from Patton, Roman isn’t exactly good at baking himself. He’s awesome at decorating, and he’s made some really cool cake artwork before, but the actual baking part is not something he usually ever has to deal with. And Remus… well, Remus is Remus. He purposely switches the salt and sugar in his food, so.

Needless to say, their attempt is an absolute tragedy, but Roman honestly isn’t too mad about it. Sure, they’re both covered in flour, and Roman’s jacket is stained with vanilla extract from a particularly disastrous spill, and Remus has been continually making Roman cringe by crunching on the cakes that are burnt beyond recognition (cupcakes are not supposed to be crunchy, what the fuck) , but Roman’s actually having a lot of fun. Maybe the cupcakes didn’t turn out very well, but Roman hasn’t laughed this hard in a long time, so he’ll take small victories where he can get them.

And the twins don’t stop. They throw darts at headshot pictures of politicians taped to the wall, they have a pillow fight until Roman’s arms feel like jelly, and they go into the Imagination to ride some of the horses there (a white one with an elegant mane for Roman, and a decaying half-skeleton horse for Remus) until the sun is setting in the real world. They do so much, a surprising amount, and it feels just like when they were kids and they used to run around the house together yelling at the top of their lungs and giggling as they ran away from an exasperated Patton. Roman didn’t know how much he missed this until now, but it’s late, and unfortunately it has to come to an end.

“Remus, I’m tired, and nothing’s working… can I just go to sleep?” Roman sighs as they walk back into the main part of the mindscape again, scratching at the back of his neck as Remus whistles a cheery tune. He doesn’t understand how his twin can still be so energetic even after every exhausting activity they’ve participated in today, but it’s somewhat refreshing nonetheless.

“Nothing’s working? But you just went a whole day without cutting yourself! Seems like it worked to me!” Remus exclaims, eyes bright as he grins cheekily, and-- holy shit. He’s right. Roman didn’t cut today. He didn’t hurt himself, even though he was feeling that bad earlier. Even with the stress, and the tension, and the breakdown, he still managed to not give in. Because… because of Remus. Because of his little brother. That sneaky little shit, he knew what he was doing from the get-go. Maybe Roman is sorta proud. Okay, a lot proud.

“Anyway, I-- woah, don’t cry on me! Otherwise I might have to steal your tears and keep them in a jar to use as lube,” Remus snickers, and Roman doesn’t even care about his vulgarity as he brings his brother into a tight hug. He can tell that Remus is surprised, and a little stiff even as Roman squeezes his shoulders with gratitude. But then he’s relaxing a little, laughs more sincerely as he pats Roman’s back, and maybe Remus isn’t so bad after all.

[samatok-i]

sooooo this is my first request here so I spent 737484647 hours thinking on what would be a good start but I think I'll settle for something simple,, may I request first date headcannons for the boyes?

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAIT TUMBLR RLLY LET ME HAVE IT!!! blease accept these qwq (im breaking them up by division so the post wont be so cluttered :0)

💫 Allstars on a First Date Pt. 1💫

♡Buster Bros♡ :

Ichiro: 

-He wants to take you to the movies! He’s not picky at all about what you guys go to see because he’s the kinda guy to enjoy the experience no matter what kinda movie it was! He’d love to talk about it afterwards with you if the movie was trash or if it was really good! (when he saw Into the Spider-verse with his bros he raved about it for days) 

-(his fav spidey person is Peni cuz he’s a slut for mecha anime)

-If you wanted to pick the movie that’d be totally fine with him! (unless theres a new movie adaption of an anime he wants to see- he’d agree with your choice but you can see the Longing in his eyes as he walks past the poster and you just might hafta give in lmao)

-Definitely pays for your snacks and drinks even if you protest because he’s a huge sweetheart (need me a MANS)

-He’s no scrub either he goes for the large drink, the large popcorn. AND king size m&ms??? Do you even deserve him????? No baby I’ll hold the food tray you’ve done enough 😤

-He finds y’all good seats and takes the tray so you can get comfortable before doing so himself and immediately going to demolish the popcorn before the previews end because he’ll always be a rebel at heart

-During the movie he (subtly but not Really) shifts closer to you and occasionally leans over or puts his hand on your shoulder lightly to whisper a joke or a thought he has about the movie in your ear (stay calm Reader-chan)

-You sorta spend the rest of the movie whispering jokes and making witty comments and giggling to yourselves like adult children and Ichiro thinks your laugh when your trying not to laugh is cute

-If something funny happens during the movie he’ll laugh loudly, if something sad happens you’ll hear him sniffling into his jacket sleeve and if something scary happens he’d keep that to himself but the way the his voice wavers when he asks if you’re okay kind of gives him away (he will Jump at the opportunity to hold your hand if you ask)

-He asks to stay after the credits because he cannot miss any after credits scenes its not in his blood, that’s not the kinda man he is

-After the movie is officially over he beats you to throwing away the trash and putting the tray back

-Would also immediately fire off about what stuck out to him in the movie and what he thought it lacked and ask your thoughts about it with a glimmer in his eyes

-He set a curfew for himself that he told his brothers he’d be back by but you both have a few more hours to kill so he asks if you wanted to grab dinner somewhere

-The place he takes you too isn’t fancy or high class, it’s just a nice, warm family diner he takes Jiro and Saburo to sometimes- he promises you’ll like it! (the place is also very special to him yknow)

-”If you don’t like it you never hafta go out with me again!” he joked but when you told him in all seriousness that you wouldn’t do that to him, some sort of tension fell away from his demeanor and he laughed warmly (relieved even) and said how that was real sweet of you

-Ichiro makes good conversation over dinner- he treats you like that he would an old friend or someone close to him and makes sure you stay engaged in the conversation just as much as he is

-After dinner (he pays of course- he was quick to whip out his wallet) you both make your way outside of the restaurant and you notice how he starts to fidget by rubbing the back of his neck and shifting his weight from each leg

-He asks if you had a good time and when you tell him you did (you Better) he visibly lights up, all traces of nervousness leaving him and his smile is big and its adorable

-(If you tell him that he wouldn’t know what to do other than stutter out a shocked thank you as his cheeks color)

-He says maybe you guys could go out again sometime? If you want? It’s totally chill if you don’t tho.

-When you say yes you didn’t think his smile could get any brighter and you realize how nice it makes you feel. How fuzzy.

-”Okay cool! That’s awesome! I’ll talk to you later alright? Be careful on your way home!”

-When you respond he starts fidgeting again like he wants to say something else and when you’re about to ask him what was up he quickly pecks your cheek before you could even register how close he had gotten. If his face wasn’t red before it definitely is now

-”I’ll call you okay? G’night!” he waves as he’s leaving and his big smile never leaves his face

Jiro:

-It’s arcade time! That would definitely be his first choice on where to take you

-Ichiro insists Jiro bring you over before y’all leave and although Jiro would love for his Niichan to meet you he can’t say the same for that little rugrat he’s forced to share a home with

-Of course he brings you anyway because Ichiro really wanted to meet you and Jiro can’t just say no to his older brother like that (Ichiro made Saburo promise to behave and he did so while wrinkling his nose and shooting Jiro a look behind Ichiro’s back and Jiro shot him a smug look in kind- Ichiro caught that one though and flicked his ear)

-When you reach the front door of the Yamada residence the door swings open before you could even knock

-Ichiro greets you warmly and eagerly ushers you inside telling you how much he’s wanted to meet you because “Jiro talks about you a whole lot yknow!” (Jiro makes a strangled noise of betrayal and his face goes red)

-You get an excited introduction from Ichiro and a less excited more being polite out of obligation introduction from Saburo (who’s about to make a quip at how Jiro even got someone to go on a date with to which Ichiro pushes Jiro towards you and says how you both ought to be going- “Also don’t forget about curfew got it? Have fun!”)

-When y’all make it to the arcade and get your game cards (they’re still tokens in my Heart) Jiro asks what game you wanna hit first and then y’all just sorta take turns dragging each other around

-His personal favorite games are 1v1 fighting games, racing games and dancing games- he loves the competition they bring and if you challenge him it’ll totally pump him up “You’re gonna regret it when I kick your ass!” 

-You guys go around the arcade with a new fighting spirit and try to kick each other asses at almost every game. Basketball, air hockey, hell even wack-a-mole- theres no holding back on any of them

-After you guys’ 3 round long dance battle you announce that you need a Break and he agrees (his jock ass could go for a few more rounds but he don’t wanna leave you out)

-He buys you a drink of your choice because he was informed that that was the Manly thing to do (”gentlemanly” was the word used but technicalities, technicalities) and asked if you’re down to get some food 

-Y’all both go for pizza (unless dear Reader is lack toes of taller ants then he wouldn’t mind letting you pick)

-You guys just share a big platter because Jiro’s funds are limited but he’d still like to treat you

-You guys laugh more often than you chew and take silly videos of each other eating to post on social media until you both decide that it was time to make more rounds around the arcade

-When it’s time to exchange game points for prizes Jiro loses his impulse control (read: non-existent) and picks out a bunch of dumbass shit

-”Bro I’ve wanted a kazoo for so fuckin’ long it ain’t even funny”

-If you want something a little higher on the points list but don’t have enough for he’d put back some of his shit (goodbye Creeper plushie) and say y’all could try combining points

-When its about time to leave Jiro clumsily says that he could walk you home- if you want! It comes out rougher than he intended and he can feel his face heating up but he’s determined to hold eye contact with you until you give him an answer

-He walks home with you until you both reach the front door of your place (also like how he was informed) and says he had a real good time and that y’all should definitely go again…y’know if you want…or whatever…

-You tell him you do and his face is Priceless (shock turning into something more like joy until he schools his features to look less like an excited puppy)

-Now unsure of how to end the conversation without being awkward he settles for the Bro Clap on your shoulder (totally not awkwa r d) and promises to get at you later 

-”I’ll dm you later ok? See ya!” he turns leaving you with a cool wave over his shoulder but he has the biggest grin on his face

Saburo:

-Oh god Saburo’s first date

-It’s his first date

-”Baby’s first date haha” “Shut up, maggot”

-He’s so nervous please help him

-He doesn’t have a clue how he was able to invite you out for the weekend let alone get away with calling it a date

-He’d be stroking his big fat ego if he didn’t feel like he was going to collapse- but he’ll be fine he has to be

-After all it’s just the aquarium! He actually likes the aquarium unlike the idiotic suggestions The Lesser One gave him (he would never go to the mall by choice). But he found the specimens kept at the aquarium to be interesting.

-Also Ichiro said he’d “chaperone” as his support (which Saburo would have never asked his Ichinii to do so in any other situation but…it’s a date. This is not his area of expertise. No matter how much research he had done on what to do and what not to do his anxiety never went away.)

-The plan was to meet the Yamada brothers at the aquarium and sure enough you couldn’t miss the two freakishly tall boys (one waving with both hands and the other meekly raising one hand in greeting)

-Ichiro took the lead, introducing himself on the way in and thanking you for taking care of Saburo (Saburo’s cheeks may have tinged a light pink at that)

-After making your way in Ichiro said he’d get out of y’alls hair and to text him if you needed anything

-Then you were both alone

-Saburo squashes the feeling of unease settling in his stomach and whips out a map of the building, asking if there was an exhibit you’d like to see first and then set off when you’ve made your pick

-At the exhibit he finds himself wanting to tell you what he knows about this particular species but he doesn’t want to annoy you or seem like he’s bragging about his knowledge (thats what kids at school usually assume- and although he Is known to brag he also like to share facts for fun)

-He starts slowly, “You know these animals are actually very interesting..”

-When you turn away from the exhibit to look at him and prompt him to speak more he’s actually startled and stutters a bit before continuing 

-You tell him that what he said was interesting and these animals were cooler than you thought!

-Oh. Oh.

-Saburo’s face feels warm as he opens the map again

-You guys laugh at the otters, marvel at the jellyfish and pet the little stingrays (Saburo was honestly a little reluctant at first but you coax him into it easily and the smile he wears when he touched one is a sweet little thing)

-He was becoming more eager to share his random information with you and you were just as entertained to listen

-He also laughs with you if you point out something funny the animals are doing

-”Hehe T-Pose crab.” “T-Pose cr a b” (these r what kids b talkin about dont @ me)

-He found himself loosening up around you qwq

-You guys eventually reach the gift shop and Saburo’s immediately drawn to these little sting ray plushies (they remind him of Mantyke from pokemon hehe) and he really wants one but…should he? In front of you?

-You catch him staring at them and then get a crazy idea: you both get one

-His cheeks flush immediately and before he can protest with something stupid you pick one up and give it to him while taking one for yourself. 

-Saburo was so caught off guard that he almost forgot to offer to pay (its Gentlemanly, Jiro, not Manly you fucking imbecile-)

-(Regardless MC BB taught them well)

-After you both snap a pic of your matching pokemon plushies, Saburo texts Ichiro asking if he could take you guys to McDonalds and Ichiro is fucking on it bro

-You all leave to get some McNuggies and make fun of the new Lion King toys because that shit is nasty (i know Hypmic is set in the near future but have you considered: i do what i please)

-It’s sundown by the time you all finish eating so Ichiro insists they accompany you home

-When you all reach your place Ichiro fakes a phone call and leaves you kids to be anxious alone

-Saburo says he hopes you had a good time and that if you’re ever free on the weekend again maybe you could hang out? If you’d like to…. (Ichiro fist pumps from behind the corner)

-You tell him of course you would and his cheeks grow warm again and he stutters out an “O-Okay!” and that he’ll keep in touch and he smiles and you smile and its cute bro

-He leaves you with a “I’ll see you at school” and a small wave

-He tries to keep his face neutral when Ichiro asks him how it went (and that his Mantyke plush is cute) but he fails horribly, a slow smile creeping onto his features

♡

WOO finally finished these for a second time! i still had a lotta fun writing them though!! the rest of the divisions will be up shortly ;3c thanks for requesting!! 💖💗💕

[lululawrence]

lululawrence’s April 2019 Fic List

Click here for previous months’ fic lists

Guess who’s back, back again... I actually wrote that when I drafted this post a month ago and I’m keeping it cause it’s funny ahhaha So this month has been a ride, hasn’t it? I’ve read some amazing fic though, so I’m super excited to talk about it with you! I read quite a few from the Shake Off the Dust collection as well as fics from the beginning of round 2 of @onedirectionbigbang and other various things as I tried and failed to keep up with all the new fic coming out haha We are so blessed to have so much amazing fic. So, without further ado, here are the fics I read and loved this month!

Hazy by @nikogda / nikogda This fic was written for me because I was anxious one day and they saw a post referring to it and they wrote this as a soothing fic for me and lemme tell ya, IT WORKED. It was so soft and... well... hazy. haha I loved it. A great fic to come back to on a rough day, for sure!

Keep Your Hands Up, So I Can See by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse / GMTYUniverse This fic was such a great HP AU! It was enemies to lovers with a touch of misunderstanding and frustrations and just all the good things with cameos by some of our favorite characters from the original series! I loved it very much a lot. It threw me into the world and made me smile quite a bit.

it's in his kiss by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface This is where Maggie took what she wrote through requests on ask and posted them to ao3 for the kiss meme and lemme tell ya! There’s some ships she wrote that I never felt a desire for, and she wrote them so perfectly that I almost started shipping them hahahaa Each chapter is it’s own little world and it pulled me in so entirely that they felt like full fics! How does she do that in such few words? I dunno. But they’re all glorious. Every last one. Defo a great read when things are hard too, i’d read a chapter when I had a moment and it made my busy, stressful days so much better.

Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 I think this one was written for the short fic fest, and I loved it so so much! She describes Harry’s movements as “giraffing about” or something like that and I will never stop laughing about that. Add to it that Harry in the fic legit thought Louis was a mannequin and I just DIE. It’s amazing. Such a silly, fun fic!

Soju (소주) by @gettingaphdinmomo / gettingaphdinlarry This is a Shiall fic that just drew me in. It has such a visual and atmospheric pull to it, like all of her fics do, and it makes you almost feel as if you’re somehow there. I dunno how she does it, but her magic is worked for sure with this fic and I had to just sit there, and process when it ended. A fun, short fic to easily get lost in.

Just Go With It by @rainbowsandlovehl / rainbowslovehl (Larrymateforlife) This fic!!!! Meet Cute heaven! It was light and fluffy and awkward and silly and I loved it so much and for real this Brett character was TOO MUCH. hahahahaha With the added fun of the little jokes like talk of organic guacamole etc and I loved it so much. It was the smile I needed.

All I Want Is To Fall With You by @2tiedships2 / 2tiedships2 Mel keeps posting fics that are so fun! How does she do it? This time the crew takes on a ski trip and Louis has to deal with stupid alphas staying in the same cabin without knowing about it beforehand and of course nothing goes to plan! That’s half the fun, though, right? Besides. The alphas aren’t that bad. haha

Do You Wanna Ride by @phd-mama / phdmama She wrote this fic for @justalittlelouislove and I screamed reading it the whole time. I took so long reading it because I kept stopping to scream and share how uncomfortable I was over the obvious awkwardness and sexual tension and it was just SO SO SO GOOD. The embarrassment just gahhhhhhh I loved it.

Strawberries & Cigarettes by @dimpled-halo / dimpled_halo A year later I FINALLY read this and I loved it as much as I knew I would. I wanted pain, and it gave it to me! It gave me pain and healing and a gorgeous story. It was such a great read, I’m so so happy I finally had the time to dedicate to it because it was just. So much of everything I love.

Let It Down by @red--special / red_special This fic has also been on my to read list for ages and I am also so so happy I got to read it finally! It was such a great fic and so much fun and so sexy and funny and awkward and I wanted to bask in it a little longer. It was so so good. hahahaha I keep thinking about the tattoo and I can’t stop giggling. Just do yourself a favor and read this fic. haha

Like A Siren In The Night by @crazyupsetter / whoknows This is an a/b/o fic that I could not get enough of or read fast enough. It’s historical, though that doesn’t play a major role, and the playing with the world building was SO MUCH FUN to read. The way their relationship developed as well was just DELICIOUS. I loved every second of it.

please forgive me if my lips quake by @disgruntledkittenface / disgruntledkittenface Girl direction! With a cat! I was heart eyes the entire fic and once again, such feeling was evoked in it that I wanted to just sit and enjoy it for awhile longer. Sigh. What pure enjoyment! I loved it.

I was the King (tonight let it go) by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren I... Okay listen. lollll I didn’t write this obviously, but it felt like such a self indulgent read I almost wished I had? If that makes sense? It was everything I love. I LOVE the emotional side and thought behind BDSM. Like, that’s most of what makes it so so so interesting and fascinating for me to read, and Sada gave that to us with this fic in DROVES as well as the fighting against natural inclinations etc etc etc. It was just a fab fic and I loved so so so much of it.

Failure to Launch by @all-these-larrythings / Rearviewdreamer Michelle has a way of taking things I don’t know about and making me love them so so so much. This film was one that many I knew loved and I felt mainly meh about it, but I knew if Michelle wrote it I would love it, and I WAS RIGHT. She took all the things I was not fond of in the original and twisted them so it still referenced the original source, but made it so much better. I loved it so so so much because it was so very much like the original film, but also very much her own. 

Come Home to Me by @pocketsunshineharry / ishiplouis I wanted pain, and pain was what I got. I cried and I kept waiting and waiting for things to come together again and they finally did! But WOW the pain leading up to that! It was amazing how much was harnessed in it. I will say, please beware the tags. Some heavy topics are handled in the fic - including some depression/anxiety etc - so please be safe with that. A great read, though! 

fondre ton absence by @scrunchyharry / scrunchyharry OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG I just. I’m a sucker for WWI and WWII period anything. It’s one of my favorite periods in history for the social, political, militaristic, just EVERYTHING historically. I find it fascinating and I adore it. I was both excited and wary how this would go then, knowing how much I love it. Well. I cried the entire way through and was in awe of how the time period and everything was handled. It’s an amnesia friends to lovers wartime period-typical homophobia acknowledging fic which basically means it is my dream fic. I cannot rave about it enough, much less the incredible art that was done by @whenthebodiesspeak!!! It was STUNNING and yeah. Just. Amazing. A masterpiece.

An Unbalanced Force by @kingsofeverything / FullOnLarrie MAROLD HAROLD with art by @goodmorningtoyouuniverse! I cried a few times during this one and it was such a realistic and beautiful and comprehensive view of a relationship, of adulthood, of trying to find love again after, just... all of it. It is a study of flawed individuals trying to make do and learning where their lines are and it is gorgeous. I loved it so so so much and I keep randomly thinking about it. A great fic and worth the wait and teasing she gave us over the months! hahahaha

That's What I'm Here For by @taggiecb / taggiecb ANOTHER DREAM FIC, ANOTHER FIC THAT MADE ME CRY! I cannot rave enough about how this big bang has kicked off, like, I just truly cannot. @noellehenry did a gorgeous moodboard for it as well, and I just. Demisexual farmer Louis who has been on his own for so long he just. Hardly knows how to be social anymore and Harry has to come and teach him and I’m about to give away spoilers so I’ll stop but this fic is so close to my heart, okay? I love love love love love it.

To Carry Onward by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry THIS LITTLE FIC!!! I keep yelling, I know. Sorry not sorry. But for real it’s 500 words and just...so full of love and longing and mystery and hope and I cannot. I love Emmu’s words and worlds and this is no exception.

A Spell and A Spark by @dinosaursmate / dinosaursmate It’s out in the world! This fic was everything I needed when I read it. I was having a really rough time, and I would get to the end of those days and get to read this fic and it soothed me, cheered me, and took me away to another world. It was so much fun and just pure joy to read. And then the art that @londonfoginacup made for it! It was such a great combo of writing and art. Another wonderful fic for big bang!

{insert acclaimed artist} was never even in love anyway by underthesunlight This is the first of several fics I read from the Shake Off the Dust collection and it was such a fun read. It was domestic and silly and soft and it made me smile.

Primtemps by @londonfoginacup / LadyLondonderry She’s just so good, isn’t she? I finished this fic and almost immediately went back to the beginning because I wanted to read it again. It’s so soft and you could almost SMELL what she was describing. It was a perfect read of a perfect day and it made me long for the days in the past that I’d had like it. Glorious.

Taking Care of You (Is My Favorite Thing) by @allthelarrylovex / cherrylarry Niam! Not usually my pairing of choice, but I loved it so much. I also very much identified with the shitty allergies aspect of it as I am dealing with that myself at the moment, so it just had me sitting there nodding like IT REALLY DOES SUCK BABES I GET IT hahaha

You Keep Me Warm by @crinkle-eyed-boo / crinkle-eyed-boo (KimmieRocks) I’ve not read Own the Scars yet, but I still read this despite it being a time stamp, and I’m so glad I did. I loved it and it made me smile. It also made me want to read the original, so I can’t wait until I have a chance to!

Love's Gentle Spring by @laynefaire / Layne Faire (HisDarlin) This is also a continuation! It’s a fun addition to her spring drabbles from last year, which are not necessary to read in order to enjoy this, though it does add to the fun hahaha I loved that little series so much and was very very glad she made this addition!

Housewives of Our Lives by @homosociallyyours / homosociallyyours I’ve never watched any of the housewives shows, but that didn’t matter. As usual Megan wrote a fic that had me wanting to be their friend and hang out with them as they did these ridiculous things because it sounded like such fun. I loved it as well.

A Larry Limerick by @kingsofeverything / FullOnLarrie I know this was mostly silly and to be funny, but I enjoyed it so I’m including it here hahaha

sun, here it comes by @louandhazaf / YesIsAWorld and It's been a long, cold, lonely winter by @kingsofeverything / FullOnLarrie I’m putting both of them here, because if you haven’t read them yet you should. They are two sides of the same story, and I fully recommend you read them in the order I listed them too haha I did and it was wonderful and delightful and basically all things good. SO much fun.

just me, him, and the moon by HazHas4Nips This was cuuuuuuute! I don’t even know what more to say, I just keep sitting here and smiling thinking about it. So I guess if you want a fic that makes you smile, this is a great little one. 

Spring Break by @allwaswell16 / allwaswell16 This fic came out of a partially true story and it was so much fun to finally be able to read what Anitra did with it haha I was giggling and loving it so so much the entire way. As usual. Can’t go wrong.

What's Mine is Yours by @uhohmorshedios / yeah_alright This fic is listed as a Narry fic, and it is, but it’s Narry friendship which made me giggle so so so much! hahaha It was so funny and the way Harry was described and Niall’s just...almost annoyance? I can’t even explain. It’s so much fun. 

Latching Onto You by @reminiscingintherain / reminiscingintherain This fic is pure fluff. Fluff and silliness and all things sweet and good. I was trying to find the best way to describe it and the first thing that came to mind was it was a bowl of sweet dessert and I finally realized it’s a parfait. It’s got layers, but all of it is sweet and soft and yummy. hahaha SO if that sounds like something amazing in a fic, then you defo wanna give this a read! 

Face Your Fears by @sadaveniren / SadaVeniren I’ll be honest, I finished this one around 2 am after a very long day and had to wake up too early again this morning, so I still haven’t fully computed this fic lollll Just know the pain is real, it is glorious, the journey the characters all take and the way Harry and Louis’ relationship grows is so incredible, I just... this fic is everything I’ve wanted in an a/b/o since I started reading a/b/o almost five years ago haha 

And that’s my very long fic list from this month! I hope you enjoy them as much as I did if you give them a try. And please remember to leave nice comments and kudos for the authors who work so hard to gift us with these stories! Happy reading :D

[adambombvilivus]

Confession: I once broke into a friend’s house with malicious intent

 and it involved jelly sandwiches

Okay, so first off, I want to keep things vague and anonymous, since I don’t want this former friend to be connected in any way. Now, it’s been a good few years and more since this happened, but I’m still very paranoid and nervous and, as I hope you’ll understand from reading, traumatized from it. It was a pretty strange saga of events on my end so I would appreciate you read all the way through before judging me please.

To give the best background, I’ll start from the beginning of knowing this guy. We met in middle school, sixth grade I believe; we weren’t friends for about a year but we shared common friends and often sat together so we just got along in time, of course. This guy, this kid, seemed pretty normal in every way, for a middle schooler. Well, “normal” among my friends and I, but we were misfits who just gathered at our own spot since we didn’t really belong to a group identity. At least that’s how I saw it, but I don’t know what the rest of them thought. We got along pretty well, finding out we shared common taste in games and music and shows we liked, and he was one of those friends, I thought, you could always trust to be real with when needed. We weren’t best friends but he was cool when it mattered.

Okay so here’s what you’ll find weird, probably: every single day, without fail, I kid you not, all anyone ever saw this dude eat was jelly sandwiches(not even peanut butter & jelly, just jelly. I always assumed it was strawberry jelly, but I never asked). All he ever said about the sandwiches is that he really loved jelly and it was homemade. I would’ve thought that someone in the faculty or something would’ve stepped in, since I knew teachers knew about it and thought it was a bit strange and unhealthy too, but he claimed he didn’t mind it at all and he seemed in good health all the time, minus regular illnesses. Not that I mind jelly sandwiches, but personally, I can’t eat something every day for more than a couple weeks in a row without getting fully sick of it for a long time, but hey, everyone is different. Oh, and I nearly forgot to put it in here, but  he had mentioned the red room all the way back then, just a couple of times. Once or twice he brought it up in conversations where we were talking about making houses in The Sims games, and he said something about this “red room” in his house that he really liked. He never described the red room, because apparently it was one of those things that was ‘embarrassing to talk about at school’, but he said it was cool and I’d probably like it if I ever saw it.

I’ve never been good with locations and addresses, so it took me until midway through high school to find out from some random situation that he had been living only a few blocks away the whole time! Both of us had lived our whole lives to that point in these homes, so that was funny to me. Since we enjoyed a lot of the same games and I had never really hung out with anyone outside of school before, I thought it would be cool to just walk over to his house and hang out for a few hours and play stuff. He seemed fully down for it and after I told my mom where he lived, she was fine with me going (I was just only 16 and it was late in the year, so it was getting dark early). Getting to his house was easy since we would just go a certain way from school that I had never walked, but it was in the neighborhood and I knew the area. That first time hanging out at his home was awkward for me but nice; we talked more than I had anticipated, about a lot of things around growing up with divorced parents and annoying older siblings and all, while he showed me some of his collections. We played games on his GameCube which I had never tried before, and his mom offered to feed me dinner, but I politely refused since we were going to have steak at home haha.

I went home and had my dinner and said I had a nice time, and that was all, nothing strange that time. When I got into bed that night I kicked myself for forgetting to ask about the red room he had mentioned years ago! I only had that little bit more to make me want to hang out again and it could be another fun thing to do or talk about, so I figured I’d bring it up the next day. He seemed pleasantly surprised that I remembered it after the years and wanted to show me next week if I came over again. Jump to that next visit, walking to his house and all, mostly the same until we had a quiet moment, and the thought came back for me to ask about the red room. He perked up and said something like’ “ooooh..right! Yeah right down here”. Same door as any of the other rooms in his house, nothing strange from in the hall; I was nervous but excited, the way you would be at anything small and silly but with years of mild curiosity behind it.

Okay, pause for a second to imagine the weirdest thing, realistically, you’d expect to see from something called “The Red Room”. I’m expecting you’ll probably imagine, like I had, that his mom just had a room where the walls were red and everything was colored red and it was some kind of hobby or something, maybe with neat art inside or whatnot.

I promise you, this...was not that.

Seriously, what my friend did was open the door, lightly push it all the way open, and walk back to his room and shut his door back closed, all without a word, but I only ever thought about that fact in following years. What I did notice first, however, was naturally, the red, but I’ll give you extra context:

First: the room was totally empty. When I say totally, I mean totally. Not so much as a small piece of forgotten trash on the carpet. It looked like the barest room of a freshly built house.

Second, the room was just a square, just a box. No closet door or sliding door, just the four equal walls.

Third, maybe the strangest of these three: Never before had I seen a room in a home with neither windows nor power outlets, or a room light on the ceiling, I don’t think.

When I say this room was just four bare walls and carpet, that is not an overstatement in any way whatsoever. I just want you to know how serious I am about everything I say here, and it’s important you really take that in before you continue reading.

Now, for what I noticed first. This room, whose doorway I was only standing in, must’ve been called the red room because of the red lighting inside. I say lighting instead of light, because I feel that more accurately conveys that there were no actual lights in this room. It wasn’t red like from a lamp, not like a glow, but similar to the way a sunset can make the outdoors look completely orange. A subtle but sure red, that lit the room like  2 o’clock sun, but there was no window, and even if there was a window, this was during the winter where it gets dark by 6 pm. If you know me, you know I am a coward and so obviously, this is uncharacteristic of me to do, but I’m guessing that I was simply in shock from anxiety to walk away. I walked into the room and I heard this sort of strange buzzing. Putting my ear against the wall, I still heard the buzzing, not much louder, but also vague machinery noises. I’d think with all of the How It’s Made I used to watch, I’d have an idea of what I heard, but nah.

Now that I had a moment to let myself absorb the oddity of this place, I turned around, walked out of the door, closed the door in the most gentlest way, walked down the hall, downstairs, and out of the front door. Like my friend, I said nothing. I was too stunned to walk home fast, I think; I mean, I was traumatized from this. Maybe it’s silly, but I’m a coward. I can’t remember much else from that night since my mind couldn’t focus on anything else. I don’t think I told my mom about it. I don’t think I slept that night or was even able to sleep. Maybe it wasn’t scary but sometimes you just have an experience that just gives you a whiplash being what you are ready to process. I hope you understand.

Just so it’s out there, I’ll go into the boring bits that I’m sure you can infer. Of course I never spoke about it. It’s not like I saw a murder. A story of a weird blank room is one thing, but I can’t tell someone that a room was illuminated by some paranormal red lighting. Yeah, I’m serious and able to open up now, but some teenager isn’t going to feel secure with being as honest-to-god as they can be and being doubted and made to feel crazy. I was already quiet, called weird, not very socially secure my whole life, maybe you can relate. As for that friend and I, well I can’t remember exactly the way we were the next day, but I think it was something along the lines of him saying he hoped I had fun and acting totally normal as before. I didn’t mention the room. I didn’t mention the room at all to anyone since this. I never went back to hang out with him again and he never asked, to my relief every day. We stayed friends through school like normal, although I had the added gift of a little well of anxiety every time he approached our group, sitting down with us eating his jelly sandwiches and joking around about stupid shit that I hate myself for laughing at and saying back then. I think other people noticed me being a little more nervous and distraught than I had been before, but nobody, even at home, ever asked what was on my mind. Most days I had only one thing to tell them regardless.

That is just how it was for a couple of years until graduation. On the last day of school he randomly told me that he hoped we could stay in contact or hang out again sometime, and I just let out a “Heh, yeah that’d be cool yeah.”, but we haven’t spoken or seen each other again after that day. Maybe the odd text counts as communication, but it never held my interest. One time out of nowhere, he texted me a jar of jelly emoji, which I never responded to; only today did I check and noticed there is no jar of jelly emoji on my phone. Neither of us had moved for a few years, so the though of that house being so close to mine that whole time never stopped making me feel uneasy, especially when we would drive near or down his street, and my mom felt like asking about him every damn time for some reason, nearly giving me a panic attack each time. Maybe if I had went to therapy or opened up about it I could’ve started an adult life after graduation, but IMO, trauma never helps anyone grow into a stronger person. Others may be stronger than me in the first place to handle these things, but I’ve never felt that concept.

To jump back into the story though, it was about a year and a few moths after graduating high school. That night still haunted me and, I don’t know, it was just a strange week in my head. I had mustered up this idea to go back but I can’t imagine why. One day after driving down his street, I noticed that the cars at his house were gone from the driveway, and my mom mentioned to me that they had been for a while and they must’ve been on vacation, since nothing suggested that they moved out (their garage was always full of clutter and they never had parked the cars in there). The next day it just came out of my mouth to say that he texted me asking to hang out at his house and catch up from the years, since they just came home from vacation and he said that I would probably like to see some souvenirs he brought home. It was a good enough lie for the time.

I knew I would be breaking in, so I sneakily grabbed a hammer before I left the house just as it would be getting dark. I don’t know why I did any of this. I was haunted, traumatized, I didn’t feel like I could talk, and I sought peace and resolution so badly. I didn’t know where their family really was, but I figured, to hell with it, if the cops show up while I’m there, I’ll tell them to check out that room or I’d plead insanity or something; I spent the past four years or so being very depressed and fixated on this surreal memory, I didn’t really give a shit.

The walk to his house was a blur from being lost in my head, but I got there anyway. I put my hoodie up as cover, but that was about it. I know I wasn’t being discreet, but again, I didn’t really care. I only barely tried the front door, and of course it was locked, so I used my hammer on their window in the front of the house. I’ve always been weak, so it took me a few swings, and being louder than I should have, to get a break, but I did it. Maybe I was too numb to feel how sore my arms were. I cleared the spiky shards around the window and turned on my phone flashlight before climbing and stumbling into the house.

Being in the kitchen, it just clicked to me to think about his jelly sandwiches. Even by that point, that’s all I ever saw him eat. When I had looked back before, I never even saw anyone else in his family eat, but I was only there twice briefly so that never stood out to me. It was almost out of frustration or anger or spite that I wanted to find a jar of his jelly and smash it with the hammer or something, just as payback for the trauma I had been living with.

I opened their fridge to look for that fuckin stuff and I found it.

Yeah I found too much of it. I found a whole entire damn refrigerator full of red jelly. That is it. Same as the room upstairs was truly empty, this refrigerator was full of nothing but red jelly. I wasn’t horrified, I was disgusted. I took a jar out and set it on the counter. Homemade fuckin jelly. The cabinets? All jelly too. Every nook and cranny for where food should’ve been had homemade red jelly. I bet I didn’t even have to tell you that. Heck, did I see any bread for making sandwiches? No, not even a loaf of white bread. Maybe they took it with them to use while away. I think I can remember laughing that they still had standard junk and cutlery drawers, and beneath their sink had everything you’d expect as well. Like a cat, I just slid that jar of jelly off of the counter and watched it shatter. It just spilled out a little liquid, but mostly still gooped up like normal jelly. I was/am so angry that things weren’t weirder than that. Was I an ass for breaking in and being angry over a family that loves their jelly. They had a whiteboard in their kitchen for reminders and such(I saw it mentioned a vacation countdown), and I erased it fully before I took a marker, and I wrote, with much anger and shakiness in my hands, ‘Too much fuckin jelly. Eat something else besides fucking jelly! Fuck you, fuck your family, fuck your jelly, fuck your window, fuck this house, and fuck your fucking boring red room!’.

I dropped the marker on the counter and let out the breath I was holding in and breathed again. I stood there for just as long as I could while the anxiety crept in and I started to shake. Sometime during that standing I heard the creaking of floorboards from upstairs. I grabbed my phone before I even grabbed my thoughts, and thus it was another blur. As I made my way just a very short distance from the kitchen to the front door, I could clearly hear footsteps down the stairs. I do remember trying my best to be quick but also as silent as possible as I left through the door and leaving it wide open. I didn’t speed up my pace nor look back. I just walked home, quite similar to that last time, no more settled or at peace. I think that’s why I have to share the story now, because clearly breaking and entering didn’t help. I didn’t even have the guts to see that room again, and I’m sorry if you wanted to know if there was anything more to it. I got home and didn’t say much of note about what I was up to, or how I explained not being gone for much time, but nothing ever became of it. I never heard of a break-in report or anything. Moving away has been the biggest relief from that place I have ever had, and the only. The only evidence I have of any of this is just what I saw with my own eyes and have as memories. Sometimes you go through things that you just have to accept and live with because you’re a lonely person and are more used to facing loneliness than the pain of distrust and different looks. I just couldn’t stand the silent guilt anymore. I have been living with this experience, but it was hitting a point to where I didn’t want to live at all. I’ll certainly never be able to see a jar of strawberry jelly again without vomiting.

[cocofeather]

I have a friend who’s suffering from PTSD and OCD. She‘s gone through a ton of rough shit throughout her life, and often calls herself broken.

She recently texted me about some of the stuff going on in her life, and I’ve decided to share my reply in case someone else needs to hear it. I’m not sure if I’m any good at motivational speeches, but I hope I can manage to help someone out.

"I think whoever controls this cursed universe decided that you were too perfect, so they went and added a bunch of flaws. Okay no, I’m joking.

But I don’t think you’re broken. I think you’re an amazing, confident, hilarious, creative person who can always make my day 100% better. I hate that you have to suffer through all that, it really isn’t fair, but you still manage to keep going!

I’ve recently been forcing myself to take better care of myself, love myself more and be more positive, because life's too fucking short to live in misery. And it’s working?

All I need to get over is anxiety and self doubt, and I know your issues go a lot deeper then that. Mind if I give you some tips anyway? Ha you’re sleeping so you can’t say no.

First of all, you should stop calling yourself broken. I’ve done a shit ton of research that proves that when you tell yourself you’re broken, a mess, worthless etc. it takes a big fat toll on your mental health. If you believe you’re broken then that’s how you’re going to see yourself. Hhhh sorry I’m not very good at explaining things. See, how you think and how you treat yourself really does affect you? I feel like that’s obvious. Okay hold on, let me use an example from last year.

I had a reminder on my phone last year that said “clean your room you idiot.” It was always the first thing I saw when I turned on my phone. I thought it was kinda funny, and when people read it they’d laugh because yeah, I’m calling myself out for not cleaning my room enough, it’s silly. But, not once did that reminder give me the motivation to clean my room. When I went home and saw the mess, I would just remember the responsibility. “I really need to clean it,,, but like, that’s a lot of effort. Don’t feel like it. Whatever, it’s not like it matters.” All the while this reminder is in the veryyy back of my mind calling me an idiot for not doing it. Even when I would actually clean my room, I would leave the reminder up. At that point, I didn’t have it up because I needed to remember to clean my room. It didn’t even help me do that, anyway. I had it up because I’m desperate for attention, and when people saw it and laughed, it made me happy. You might think I’m overthinking things, but here’s the catch. After I put the reminder up, I started cleaning my room less and less and less. Some psychological thing. When people would come over and see my mess of a room, they’d be like “wow this is filthy” and I’d be like “ack I know haha but I’m too lazy to clean it.” What happened was when people would laugh at the fact that I was making fun of myself for not cleaning my room, it made me feel like I was making someone happy by being a mess, and so then I played into the stereotype and stopped cleaning my room as often, all the while it’s making me feel less organized, unresponsible and most importantly, like an idiot. There you have it. My real world proof of how one word can effect your life.

Since then, I’ve taken that reminder down and replaced it with a reminder that pops up every month saying “Give your room a tidy ♥.” Since I’m not away from home atm I don’t know if it’ll work, but I also put another reminder up in the beginning of summer saying “Drink more water ♥," and since then, whenever I see it, I go grab a cup of water because I know my health matters. When people see those reminders they’ll probably be like “why are there heart emojis??” “Because it’s a small reminder to take care of and love myself.” Those reminders aren’t going to make anyone laugh, but they’re going to help me, and if that isn’t the point, I don’t know what is.

Okay that’s enough about me and my reminders. I hope you picked up my point in all that XD

If you’re constantly calling yourself broken, you’re going to believe you're broken, and if you believe you’re broken then that’s what you’re going to be.

Words are everything. They’re all we really have. I’ve found that by simply thinking more positively, your life can take a huge turn for the better.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk."

There’s a little more after that, but it’s a bit personal, so I’m going to skip to the end

"I’m going to finish my ted talk off by saying I really meant everything I said earlier, I think you’re amazing. Things will get better. The stuff you have to deal with isn’t fair, but you don’t have to abide by it's rules. You can get better! I believe in you ;)"