#this is.... the only thing that it's giving me fomo for tiktok

[thehoveringbrain]

Fictional Influencers Are Taking Over TikTok

[etherealsworldvision]

How Can You Form New Connections?

Before I begin the reading I’d like to take a moment to talk about Native Hope. They’re a non-profit organization that addresses the injustice done to Native communities in the U.S. and Canada. They share Native stories, provide educational resources, and assist Native communities. If you’d like to make a donation you can click; link.

🚨 P.S.A 🚨 : I do not give personal readings!

Pile 1

Your current energy towards making new connections

[ Messages: Honesty without compassion is cruelty and kindness without honesty is manipulation. Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth ]

Cards: Queen of Cups; 4 of Cups (Rx); the Magician. Queen of Spades; 7 of Clubs

You feel ready to form new connections but feel wary about people which might hold you back. For some of you; you may have dealt with someone who was mean to you during this connection. This feels like that old connection is recent but like a little long ago so I’d say within six months or so (I could be wrong though). However it seems like it’s not a huge concern any more but it does linger from time to time. I get the sense that the thought and your experience with them contributes to your fomo (fear of missing out). In general though, this feels like you freshly stepped or going into a more confident energy. Like you’re comfortable with meeting people as well as letting people meet you. You’re also approaching new connections slowly and with boundaries. I feel called to say this to someone: “boundaries are not about control, it’s about taking the action to keep ourselves healthy and safe”.

How can you make/new connections

[ Messages: Don’t waste a second of your time convincing other people your worth. You have been hidden for far too long; meet new people, discover new places, learn new things — it’s time to explore and expand your mind. May you honor all that you receive. May you let it be. ]

[ Additional Messages: Dylan’s Place by Hockey Dad, Hell and Back by Bakar, Art, Asking what you want and need in a connection]

Cards: Ten of Swords; Ten of Pentacles; Ace of Wands. 7 of Clubs; King of Spades. Gratitude; Forgive

Okay Pile 1, I get the sense there is an all or nothing trait. I have a feeling some of you are tired of that mentality only because a tiktok popped in mine. There’s this woman who said “I’m done being a ride or die because every time I ride, I’m bleh! Every time I ride it’s bleh, I ride I bleh, I’m tired of ‘dying’.” This mindset is also contributing to ‘I need to know’ about the outcomes. Which hinders you from forming new connections and it turns into quicksand. Your guides are saying “it’s time to trust yourself. Let yourself be free and experience this connection. Whatever you feel, feel and process it; let your emotions help you determine your action in order to tend to the needs of this connection.”

[ Disclaimer: if you are displaying serious mental health issues please seek professional help. ]

I get the sense you may watch ‘their intention’ which is not helping you. If anything it may cause you to be extra cautious. I feel like we get too caught up about other people’s intentions that we have a tendency to forget how we can contribute to our own sufferings. For a second I felt a bit of defensiveness which is okay. Let’s take a breath real quick and get a little comfy again. This isn’t to attack you at all.

It’s okay to be wary because it reminds us to set our boundaries. However if we let that wariness become our impossible, doorless wall then it will only make us more lonely.

Your guides are asking you to trust yourself and to be more open about the possibilities. They also want you to ask yourself ‘why do I want a new connection, is it a transactional or genuine connection?’ I also heard ‘take out: are they serving/benefiting me/them and replace it with: are they/am I being genuine? How do we/I feel about this?’. There’s also articles about transactional vs genuine connection. Remember connections involve two people.

Lastly, another big thing is the sky high expectations you put on yourself. You are not a skyscraper sweetie — you can only take so much you can handle, you’re literally just a human being. There’s also this tendency of being super hard on yourself (especially with a past connection). Your guides are asking you to accept and forgive yourself. To hold yourself with compassion. So that means no more bullying yourself! It’s easier said than done but those self deprecating jokes are hurting yourself. Instead your guides are asking you to explore why you have this high expectation, why do you feel the need to bully yourself when it comes to failure? Why haven't you pat yourself on the back for acknowledging and taking action to better a situation — for leaving?

It takes a strong person to leave an unhealthy connection. Congratulate yourself for taking the first step for putting yourself first. And don’t stop there. Congratulate yourself for taking the initiative for wanting better and more in your life. Congratulate yourself for the person you were, are, and will become. Give yourself the gratitude you give others.

To recap: forgive and congratulate yourself. All of nothing, needing to know the outcome is what’s hindering you from forming new connections.

Pile 2

Your current energy towards making new connections

[Messages: If I am worth everything later I am worth something now; for wheat is wheat even if people think it’s grass in the beginning. It did not kill me and it did not make me stronger, it simply and always will be scorching my heart. It takes time…this blooming, this coming back to your own self. May you express all that you are, may you feel deeply and treasured.

Additional Messages: 333, 22, clown, big d energy, warm tones especially yellows, comedic, beach, skeptical, Australia, (trail)blazers, sponsorship, business savvy, small talks, “More” by 5 seconds of summer, ‘If walls could talk’ by 5 SOS, Colognes, Perfume, trendy, mask, masc (presenting), talkative, flirty, charmer. ]

Cards : The Hermit (Rx); 2 of Cups; Sun. 9 of Diamonds; 10 of Clubs; 2 of Clubs. Wild (Rx), Bliss (Rx)

Your energy is hella funny and big. Like idk how to explain it — you have a celebrity interviewee vibe to you. It’s as if you are an important guest on a talk show. Like you’re ready to go out, have fun, do your thing. Do the next big things because if you’re going to go out why not go out with a bang, right? You might have Leo/Libra/Jupiter placements — especially Leo/Sagittarius mars. It feels like you have been hiding in plain sight. I don’t think you have trouble making new connections; it’s about having trouble forming sentimental connections and (up)keeping them. You may have a tendency to only have interesting small talks and that’s because you’re a damn good conversationalist. Yet there’s this need to have deep talks, it tickles the back of your mind but you quickly dismiss it — shove that box to the ocean but that wave brings it back. You may have a fear of intimacy and commitment issues which lead to internal isolation and loneliness. This might have been recently brought up or you probably stumbled on this reading and thought “well fuuuccckk now that you said it I can’t ignore it.” If you’re going to scroll, that’s fine. It’s a tough convo but when you’re ready to give it a read just know I’m super proud of you.

How can you make/new connections

[ Messages: May you settle gently, even as the wave breaks above. May you be exactly as you are. Keep your heart warm no matter how cold they have been to you. To be loved is to be changed; let yourself enjoy this process.

Additional Messages: Skipping vulnerable talks, speeding through connections, CBT Therapy, The Mountain is You by Brianna Wiest, Outer Banks, needing patience, speedy, overindulgence with instant gratification, wanting more out of connection, toxic, singing, 1010, making decisions you’re capable of, 2, gentle, cooperative, harmonious connections, stalling, ‘This Charming Man’ by The Smiths, Steve Lacy. ]

Cards: The Hanged Man (Rx); Ace of Swords (Rx); 10 of Swords (Rx). Jack of Spades; 10 of Hearts. Soothed; Enough.

Okay, so I think you view yourself as the waves on a beach. People love the beach waves and only the beach waves, so that’s the form you’re comfortable taking. Except you’re not just the waves but the entire ocean. You have depth but you’re so used to people enjoying the waves and even if they sail the seas, you’re okay if they just stay afloat. You’re so used to seeing beach viewers, surfers, and cruisers; the ones who are there for a fun time and to admire. They’re the people who you’re so used to seeing and have this belief that they are all you know. You forgot about the scuba divers, marine biologists, and submarines; the ones who are willing to go to the depths and understand who you are. I don’t know why I had to form it this way — but I think this visual may help you think, ‘hey there are more people out there’. You may think of yourself as the ocean or have a huge connection to it.

You have a habit of avoiding confrontation via shutting down, dissociating, downplaying it by using jokes, flat out ignoring them, or being defensive about it. To you, you believe “if I cannot see the problem then they can’t see me”. Meaning: if there is no problem there is no hurt.

There’s this stalling, avoidant habit you had ever since childhood or a very old relationship and I think it’s due to how people overly reacted or ignored you when it came to your needs. So now this habit follows you around out of protection. Your energy kind of reminds me of Trevor from Ghosts (US version) in terms of being a ‘chill’ person but secretly wanting something intimate and sentimental. You may even think intimacy only comes in the form of sex. You might have even thought “why isn’t this working?” That’s a start…but using sex as an act of intimacy is not enough.

I know it’s difficult to hear but intimacy can come in the form of sharing hobbies together, having deep talks, or being in a room just to enjoy each other’s presence. Intimacy comes in many forms. So that leads to the question: what is the value of intimacy and sentimentality to you? What do you find intimate and sentimental? What is your relationship toward intimacy and sentimentality?

I also think the issue is not just about running away from yourself/self-sabotaging, but also the people you surround yourself with. Are your friends/lovers there for only the good/celebratory times? Are your friends/lover only there for the sad/gloomy times? Are they enabling this side of you? You need to ask how they make you truly feel about yourself.

Deep down you know you’re capable of making better decisions — you just need a gentle push. Let this be it. Be a scuba diver and a marine biologist, get to befriend and understand the deepest part of you. Also let other marine biologists/scuba divers understand you. Sure it isn’t perfect; yeah the ocean can cause a tsunami and there are huge storming waves in the midst of the ocean but there are people willing to dive deep.

Let yourself open up and to be understood, it’ll help with the hurt you’re carrying. If you make your walls too high then the hurt will only pile up. Honestly intimacy doesn’t always have to apply with hurt — it’s just basking in each other’s company.

Okay so another thing I recommend is to read articles about Transactional vs Genuine, it’s a good start. I know it’s a process but opening up is a step by step process. Also, let yourself slow down in a connection, there’s no need to rush through it. Let yourself enjoy the person’s company. I’ll leave the reading here, if you made it this far just know that I’m proud of you.

Pile 3

Your current energy towards making new connections

[ Messages: May you dive deep into your passions; May you navigate with purpose. When we are at our lowest, that is when we are ready for change. The essence of community, it’s heart and soul, is the non-monetary exchange of value; things we do share because we care for others and for the good of the place.

Additional Messages: luck, opportunities, clover, 11, 1, 33, 3, 2, 123, calm, gem, hobbies, exposure. expressing your authenticity, hating loud noises, not a fan of loud music, outside limitations ]

Cards: Ace of Pentacles; Ace of Wands; 2 of Cups (Rx). 3 of Spades; 3 of Hearts. Love; Decide

Alrighty Pile 3! I think some of you are from pile 2 so if you are — welcome back lol. The first thing I do notice is: you may be finding new hobbies or rediscovering hobbies. Like there is an investment towards your hobbies and feeling this reconnection to yourself. Another thing you may be going through is making a decision within a connection. I don’t think it’s necessarily romantic but it can be. You may feel conflicted about ending or ‘saving’ it. Or you just feel out of the loop — like you’ve outgrown a connection. Now this doesn’t have to be romantic, a connection can be anything. I think this is my younger pile lol, like I’m getting mid-late teen vibes from some of you. If not, you're just very youthful in terms of energy. There’s also this nostalgia/reminisce of wanting to go back to your fun years. Like think about those posts about “remember 2016 summer?” Yeah…that’s basically it. Okay not to be rude: I feel like this pile is wondering how much they held their self expression back for the sake of having a connection and to feel loved/accepted. I just feel this heavy sense that you weren’t expressing your true self for friendship. I honestly don’t think you communicated these feelings to anyone else either. I think the way you have probably been cooping is by reconnecting with yourself, alone. Which leads you to wonder “how can I meet like minded people?”

How can you make new connections

[ Messages: May it be effortless, May you tend to the sufferings, Don’t waste a second of your time convincing people of your worth, It takes time this blooming, this coming back to your own self.

Additional messages: mellow, tired, sleepy, low noise, low voice, jumpy, not into ruckus, Kim Possible, trapped, sleepless nights, calculating, restlessness, listlessness]

Cards: 4 of Swords (Rx); The Tower (Rx); 8 of Pentacles (Rx). 7 of Clubs; 2 of Clubs. Ease; Compassion.

This is honestly pretty funny because I was so energetic prior to this reading but now I feel low energy. So I think pile 3 is just tired, maybe even drained. I also feel like wanting to take things slow, to process everything. So maybe this is your energy?

I want to start with this restlessness. So you may be thinking about how to gain new friendships/connections. I feel like you join a lot of activities — even ones you hope to like but you know it’s not for you but you just have this hope you’ll grow into it. Sometimes you may also be the wallflower/ghost at the corner in these events, even online.

I think you put so much pressure on yourself to fit in with the crowd. To the point you’re willing to throw yourself into random spaces in hopes of getting along. Which, in turn, eats at your energy. It’s like an introvert pretending to be an extravert. I don’t mean that in a bad way — I just have to be straightforward. You’re aware this isn’t for you but you still try to go along with it, for other people.

Like there’s nothing wrong with who you are — what your interests and hobbies are, what you do in your spare time, whatever the case. You are just a person living your life. You like what you like, that’s fine.

Honestly you really don’t need to do so much. Let the crowd come to you by freely expressing yourself. Your guides are saying to hold compassion for yourself and to be the one who has a say in your connections. There is no need for an elaborate plan, a friendship doesn’t need to start on that. It’s going to feel effortless, fun, exciting! Like one of those friendships where both are like “when were we friends?” And they have the best friendship that’s going strong.

Yes there is commitment and maintenance in connection, however, it shouldn’t be so calculating and draining. I feel that this group’s main thing that can help you out is to be yourself and to let yourself be seen. I know it sounds contradictory. What I mean is: you’re just being you and you happen to post it or someone walks by. They notice and boom you two are talking a lot about that interest. Also don’t forget about what you need in a connection. You have needs and requirements too so don’t be afraid of talking to someone about these things. That’s honestly all I’m getting.

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[belleame333]

how i overcame my phone addiction.

so for some background, i used to have a screen time of about 8 hours daily. i used my phone all day, every day, obsessively scrolling through tiktok and other social media apps. this did a significant number on my mental health and social life, and when i decided i wanted to work on myself i knew that this was the thing i needed to change first. so here's what i did to bring it down to less than one hour a day (some of the advice i took is from faye bate on youtube, go check out her video on the topic!)

turned off my app limit: this may seem counterproductive, but whenever i had my app limit on i would just press 5 more minutes until the next pop-up came and i would just press ignore and continue scrolling. i realized that it just didn't do anything.

deleted ALL games and social media: yes, even tumblr, and now i only have it on my laptop. i know many have FOMO (fear of missing out), and i did too, that is what keeps pulling us back to all these social media apps. no, it won't kill you if you do not see your friend's insta story or what your favorite tiktoker wore that day. trust me, it was hard to delete it all, especially since it gave me that feeling of being connected, but i just did it. that's what you need to remember in this whole journey: to just do it, even if you don't want to at first, you will not regret it. we see so much of other people's lives on social media that we forget about our own, that's why i cut my screen time so much, i wasn't focusing on myself and my own life.

put my phone far away/turn it off: whenever i leave a room i leave my phone in there, i put it up somewhere out of reach or i just turn it off completely, easy as that. also, when i go to school, i leave my phone at home sometimes so i don't go on it during class.

stopped listening to music: this was probably the hardest thing to do because i used to listen to music 24/7 but that fucked my brain up too since i just couldn't sit in silence without thinking about putting on music, and if i put on music, i also wanted to scroll through my phone. this also helped me to calm my mind a bit, because before i was constantly just singing in my head.

found other hobbies: i now do yoga, meditate, work out, read and solve puzzles; not long ago these were all things i didn't do because i was always on my phone. you don't even need a new hobby necessarily, you just need to do other stuff to get your mind off your phone, preferably something productive that's good for you.

did a dopamine detox: this is what i recommend most tbh. i found simonesquared’s videos on the topic to be the best and i followed what she did. i suggest you do your research into it but basically, it's not interacting with anything that gives us a dopamine kick (our phones, music, etc.) for a full day. i do this regularly now and it's been a great help with getting me away from my phone.

i truly hope someone found this helpful, love u xx

[sageistri]

Do you ever feel super disconnected from stan twitter? Jimin is a huge exception for me but even with him and even back when I was an army....I don't get the excessiveness there. People will praise their idols at length for things that seems so...normal. Yes its nice your faves a polite guy or it's great he's good at playing so many instruments or he's so good at running and jumping or whatever but I don't know if it's worth this tiktok edit or 200 characters praise tweet. Sometimes it feels like I'm talking to parents (I tutor kids part-time) and they're all convinced their kids are the most special geniuses on earth and that's cute in its way but crazy similar vibe in stan spaces when fans talk about the people they stan. I also think Jimin's my exception because he really does have some extraordinary traits so I can tolerate his praise when he's going above and beyond or like with BTS I can tolerate the "they paved the way" conversation because I do believe thats warranted even if I'm not emotionally attached to BTS anymore. That was something exceptional they did so that does merit exceptional praise.

But most of these idols are way too average or just above average for their fans to be acting like they've discovered the next Beatles or something. The way some stans go on about ending fairies or dyed hair or some basic dance moves is too much. Reminds me of kths talking about V being the master of expressions and consequently the best dancer for them. I don't know - just feels so stupid. Most recently the praise lathered on idols like JK and Lisa - they're definitely not bad but there's such a huge disconnect from the way they're praised versus their actual music or performances. I guarantee you give their stans a blind test - as in make them listen to their music or watch their performances masking their appearance or vocals and they would agree that most of their stuff is very meh. Or the yeonjun dance choreo that was on my tl - it's fine but nothing about it stood out to me to justify how stans were gagging over it. Oh another parallel to this is also like how ships operate - wowowow my faves made eye contact and a micro expression at each other #truelove #married. Making mountains out of molehills

I guess this is the byproduct of hyperfixation whether it's related to stanning an individual, a group or a couple but very annoying nonetheless

I understand this. There's sometimes I see certain praise tweets and I don't get it but I just accept That maybe these people are seeing something I'm not. And sometimes that could be the case.

Most times, these praises are exaggerated, but I also think it is possible that if you look into those idols without bias, you might understand what it is that their stans are hyping up.

And about feeling disconnected from stantwt. I have been for years, and Honestly I'm not sure what I'm still doing on this side of social media as a whole. There are sometimes I see some funny tweets especially, some of the posts from the iwtv community and I'm reminded of why I used to like stantwt but that feeling doesn't last at all. I haven't fully left because of jimin only. As long as I still stan him and as long as I am still connected to bts in some way, I will always have this fomo and that means I'll keep coming back.

[blorbocedes]

i saw some brocedes slideshow on tiktok and someone in the comments said “friends should never sleep together” 😭😭😭

the only thing that gives me fomo about not having tiktok is all the fancams I'm missing out on. vine used to be my shit back in the day

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hi!! Just want to share a hard time i've gone through this last month and I think only another the 1975 fan can understand (maybe).

I have to explain that I'm really really into music since as a little child, been through my emo fase and all hahaha. So I'm always that friend that people see as kind of a reference about music, you know? And the thing I like the most is going to shows. It always seemed to me the most wonderful experiece. I have severe FOMO when I can't go to a show of some artist I like.

I had to give this context cause I became a 1975 fan after the whole TS thing on tiktok. It felt very weird that I didnt listen to them before, because they are the kind of artist I tend to like.

The fact that I didn't know them before this made me feel so bad, like I was some kind of fraud? How could I miss this?? And so I found out they had come to my country several times, actuallly they came here this year!! And it gets worse! They played at Lollapalooza in my country several times and on days I was there and I didn't know them, so I didn't watch their show.

It made me so, so sad and anxious, I had to talk tô my psychiayrist about this hahaha I know It sounds soo silly but the FOMO is so real to me. Plus I was on vacation, so I didn't have much to do and my days were basicly listening to them, watching interviews and being here on Tumblr talking to you and another fan accounts.

My husband is the only one I can talk to about this but since he isn't into music he doesn't understand me haha. And I am ashamed to talk to my friends about it and they say something like "you just heard about this band, how can you feel like this?".

Sorry about the long text, I just wanted to get this out of my chest and I wonder If anyone been through something similar, so I don't feel like a crazy 12yo even though I'm 30yo hahaha.

no no no I can TOOOTTTAAALLLYYY understand. and as bad as you feel, its completely normal. But i have 3 things( maybe 4, idk, lets see where i go with this) to tell you:

When I first found the band my first reaction was THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD. immediately followed by "im so sad I missed two album drops with this band. all that time i felt weird and out of place and like i had no way of expressing myself, this shit has been under my nose all along and i missed it???" I was so upset. Cuz, like you, I love music. And im not afraid of mixing it up either. Like I listen to Hank Williams, Bob Dylan, Beyonce, The Beatles, Miley Cyrus, Talking Heads, AM, 1975, you name it. and im pretty snobby about it. like its "my thing" that keeps me sane. AND my academic specialties being philosophy and literature, its basically the crossover of my dreams, this band.

When I first got into them, I kept asking around to see if any of my friends had already been fans. Nope. Then I remembered Matty's "we're the biggest band that you've never heard of." which is sooo true. they have such a strong following, but it's mostly fans. no casual listeners who sort of know them and know his but couldn't name the drummer or couldn't name an album. you know what I mean? they're a very specific case.

MATTY TIMOTHY HEALY. THEEEE MATTY HEALY! who's knowledge of music rivals my own didn't know The Mountain Goats existed until Feb. 2023. that SHOCKED ME TO MY VERY CORE. They're very much up his alley too like how come????? these things happen! the 1975 are your mountain goats. and thats okay!

Rob Sheffield (terrific music journalist who writes for rolling stone) once said "the music will find you when the time is right" like sometimes if you force yourself to sit down and really listen to Leonard Cohen, you might just be like "meh. i dont see the appeal. not for me," But one random day, years later, after you've gone through some experiences or expanded your musical palette or whatever, you might encounter him again, totally accidentally, and it'll allllll make sense. It'll find you when you need it. The 1975 found you at the right time. And now you have them in your life. if you'd been forced to listen to them years ago maybe you would've been like "nope. not for me," and then kept that impression of them so that any time you encountered them you'd have brush it off like "ooh yeah. tried them. not that great. no thanks." so its better that you waited.

WELCOME TO THE FANDOM. SOO SOOOO GLAD YOU'RE HERE. AT LEAST SOMETHING GOOD CAME OUT OF THE WHOLE TS THING!

[fxirybun]

too damn true!!! i also feel like with ur last point that ppl dont seem to remember as easily compared to previous times? for instance whenever theres a "new" tiktok trend i look at it and realise its not actually "new" just something that the newer generations seem to think they created or made it new again.

its like kids or teens nowadays are so focused on their online life that they forget things have been done before in a less than new way so to see aesthetics that have been around long before thenselves come back as an aesthetic more than a lifestyle baffles me. particularly with y2k, not only do the 00s feel too long ago ngl we had so much good stuff but its like if you search it on youtube all ppl say is how trashy it was just because they didnt live in the era of it or they put an importance of aesthetics without realising they really wouldnt cope without the internet but its more so they prefer how something looks from that era, than anything else, i dont think anyones whos chronically online (myself included) would realistically want to have zero internet in current times it really gives fomo honestly its so bad.

if u arent doing what everyone else is doing its so bad making us feel further behind bc time aint slowing down for nobody. we 30 somethings had a lot too but i feel that gen z just dont realise the difference in society between then and now and it seems vastly different i cant explain it? thats why i feel like we were in some sort of time alteration device in or around 2019 cause nothings felt normal since then and even ppls behaviours and just the way they "think" has been altered so much and it always has to accomodate to whatever is going on both online and irl, the fact we have to try to mentally separate the online version from our physical selves is bonkers. thats whag i mean its totally different and idk if its a good kind of different or bad. im even seeing this crop up with new generation kpop groups and my faves ultimately they still are very much chronically online even if they are on a break. its actually hard to keep up with this stuff going on all the time hbu?

that reminded me of the whole baggy jeans & flared jeans trend and how my mom told me that these jeans used to put a chokehold on them back in the 90s lol. we be following the 3 Rs rules 😆 : reduce , reuse , recycle.

well.. if the shoes fit , fits them 🤷‍♀️ and the majority of teens are usually in their experimenting phase wherein they get to try new things that they're curious about. been there , done that ◔_◔ an example would be my little brother who's in his mid-teen years. he's experimenting with some clothes and would mix n match them cuz it's "trendy". i find his fashion questionable because of the layered tops and pants he's wearing 😭 like bro it's freakin hot outside and you're going to wear that ?? tho i'm not gonna stop him , letting him explore and find his niche (˘̩̩̩ε˘̩ƪ)

you know the whole "emo phase" back in the early 2000s and how people would throw shade on it ? well surprise surprise cuz tara yummy , johnnie guilbert , and jake webster are trending , and how their goth / emo fashion is making its way on trends.

gen z's are individuals who aren't afraid to express their opinions and are pretty much self-aware as to what's going on in this world. i find it admirable because their voices are being used to change the current societal expectations of what the govt or any politician had established.

i do feel that the whole pandemic was a major catalyst for all of us and how everything seems to be happening too fast. but i kid you not with this one cuz some of the millennials and gen x peeps i know irl has been noticing how we gen z's have no presence in mind and that we have short attention spans 😭

well , they're right with that one cuz i noticed it from my blockmates , the younger students , and my skibidi toilet siblings. and you shouldn't feel bad about not being able to catch up cuz i'm on the same page as you lmao ( T_T)＼(^-^ ) i had no idea what a "fanum tax" meant not until my little brother who's a gen alpha told me its meaning 💀 there's a new wave of slangs too and how i was left in confucius at first but i got a hold on it over time.

[sanderssideswriting]

hello I am back with an analysis, it is currently 6:57 so there will be no spoilers, instead I’d like to discus why I think that the new video is the fanale and how Thomas was ale to drum up hype for the video in a really great way specifically for the fandom.

I was talking about this to a friend and why I’m certain that it’s the finale, no matter what the video is I will be posting this because fuck you I can and because I want to go into marketing so this is pretty cool for me.

so first is obviously the youtooz, people are saying it’ll just be an ad for the sanders sides youtooze plushies.

Now why won’t it be, that’s pretty simple, sure just an ad is bound to get a lot of views and sell a lot of plushies especially because of FOMO

but if it’s at the end or probably the beginning of the finale that’s even better, everyone has been waiting for the finale, everyone will watch the finale, of all his videos sanders sides has the most views the last one (not asides svs) has 2.2 million views currently with recent videos all getting a few undred thousand but not passing a million views

the picture on twitter of editing software

the sanders sides fandom is build on speculation and theories, who the orange sides is, Janus’s name, Virgil’s name. People make all sorts of theories and look into every little detail so posting editing stuff, people are going to assume that it’s a sanders sides video

having it premiere instead of just posting it and not giving it a title and having it be a black screen

this is great, no one knows what it’s going to be, but with the other things it’s easy to assume the hype has been building and a premiere, people can speculate with others while they wait, hyping each other up for whatever it’ll be

and now the video it out and I’ve finished it so time to talk about THAT, and why I’m personally disapointed under the cut, if you don’t want to read it that’s fine, these are my thoughts and you don’t need to like or agree with them

I’m disapointed, I’m disapointed as shit, mostly because of the above, how much hype was done especially with the premiere.

yes the sanders sides videos are hard, they’re getting longer and require more editing over time but it has been two years since svs. The fandom revives when there’s new content before leaving.

I got on tiktok a lot in 2020 there where so many cosplayers, all the ones from then are basically gone and I now follow only one acc who still makes tss content, I followed others but they all stopped making that content. 

the fandom is dead, and without new content it’ll stay dead, I don’t think this little revival will last very long.

I am sick of waiting, I have waited for two years for a proper sanders sides video, not asides.

Flirting with social anxiety had 1.9 million views as of now.

working through intrusive thoughts has 819k views.

all of sanders sides has millions of views.

I don’t really know where I’m going with this other then that the fandom is slowly dying for good and I’m tired, I’m tired of waiting for a finale that feels like it’ll never come.

the waiting was fine, I didn’t mind when I knew there’d be more but now it feels like there won’t be and if there it it won’t be for a very long time.

if you don’t like this just move on, block me, I don’t care, I am venting out my frustrations at this, it’s partly my fault for hyping myself up so much and I know burn out is a thing, but if Thomas is burned out I also wish he’d just tell us that so we at least know there’s a reason for the wait

[sierrabinondo]

2021

LMAO I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS SITE IS STILL ACTIVE

going into this year, i had way too many expectations. in january i said to myself that by the end of the year i would be partnered and full time on twitch (lmao) and that the WSA full length would have been done and out (lol. lmao). i pep talked myself saying, “hey, you’re not going to get a lot of sleep this year. and you’re going to be reeeeal tired. cause you gotta go back to work. you literally have to.” 

it was difficult at times, but i basically just sacrificed having more free time and/or a social life. a pandemic is still raging, so it’s not like it mattered that much. i still had *some* free time. the biggest sacrifice was time at the gym; i really did not get to go at all and had to work out at home, if at all. i also had to slowly stop accepting commissions which crushed me. i realized i could not deliver work in a timely manner and had to give that up, whereas last year they were all i did. weeeee haha

the winter was pretty quiet. i still felt like i was constantly busy due to streaming. our day-to-day excitement was binging haikyuu and cooking hellofresh meals. the most adventurous thing i did was drive to connecticut to record a feature at silver bullet studio. that was pretty nerve-wracking cause i had to nail it that one session; that studio was a 3 hour drive away. it was great to see my friends from huo again and work with chris teti. it snowed so much, so it was incredible watching my arctic dog play and sleep in the snow. on stream i was working on beating mario sunshine and 3d world with friends. i picked up a more consistent twitch and tiktok schedule, because i desperately wanted streaming to be my job instead of wherever i landed this year. as i got busier, all my quarantine plants slowly died one by one. that’s something that really saddens me every time i think about it. i filled my house with plants, a longtime goal, and they all started to wither away the busier i got. i did finally get to decorate the house in other ways though, like making the loft area cozier; something i had been wanting to do. the one thing i will say, is that when i started to work much harder on my gaming content, i saw some change. 

a couple of the most poignant things that happened to me in the winter were being hosted by a top smash player and getting a chance to get to know him, and being recognized by my favorite band lower definition. i did a podcast where i spoke in length about their discography and they not only heard it but listened to it multiple times. like, it equally blew their minds that someone would go out of their way to talk about them. that is unbelievable to me, because they are lower definition, but they said it was incredibly validating for them. the guitarist wrote a long IG post and tagged me and i bawled my eyes out on stream.

as it got warmer out, we set out to do more things for ourselves. jeremiah built me a goddamn garden box!!!! so i still got to garden this year. i went with all starters (except for the kale i grew from seeds). it was wonderful having fresh vegetables and herbs again. my basil plant grew so huge. we started to see friends more; one by one i was having friends at the house to meet brawly and eat hot pot when i wasn’t busy with streaming. jer and i also finally started going out on hikes, dinners (CONVEYOR BELT SUSHI) and dog meetups since we were vaxxed and felt safe. even saw some friends we hadn’t seen in forever. when things started to open back up and friends were getting together, i still had to miss so much due to streaming. i was still hellbent on not breaking my consistent schedule. i look back and i think it was still worth it. even when only 5 people showed up to watch, i’m glad i put the work in. i get really bad fomo but i was trying so hard to lay the foundation for what i hoped would allow me to eventually be in control of my schedule and thus have more freedom. i look back and that part of the year was still so good. all of the warmer months were honestly wonderful. the perfect balance of spending time streaming and seeing friends. i miss it very much. 

one thing i finally did was I WENT BLONDE. i have been dreaming of doing this since 2018. however, i never had the extra money for it. i had some funds saved from unemployment so once i started getting income again i booked an appointment. lo and behold, we got it in one fucking session, and my hair didn’t fall off. for years folks have told me to not go blonde or that it wouldn’t look good on me and they were all wrong lmao. it’s weird how changing one facet of your appearance is technically not that big of a deal but holy shit i feel like a new person. it’s great. if you are also brown please also go blonde!!! let us be the blonde brothers!!!

it was a tough year for my band as we chugged along on album writing. we did wrap most of it by the end of the year but it took many sessions and lots of alcohol lmao. we finally released murder mountain, which was years in the making. the video hit road bumps and wrapped filming in february. when we were set to drop it in may, we prayyyed to god it would be a turning point for us. we wanted so badly to finally accomplish the streaming numbers our peers have, but we fell short. however, when you put that aside, we absolutely demolished all of our prior release records and dozens of new folks did find us. we also FINALLY dropped a hot sauce which was an absolute dream come true. that shit sold out in 24 hours. unbelievable. we played a string of shows with pulses. in the fall and i’m so glad that was how we came back to live music. i would not have wanted it any other way. it was our first time seeing them in person since the previous tour, too. that weekend was a dream. i had never played so many great gigs in a row. i couldn’t believe it. i was actually happy after playing a set. a lot of folks know i nitpick at my performances but i legit had nothing. it sucks we couldn’t gig more this year, but the time off to write was nice. it turns out, however, that we need more. eek lmao

we wanted so badly to have a huge 2021 and drop the record. we wanted to line things up so that when 2022 came around our lives would be changed. but life happens. living is expensive. and that’s basically the root of our problem. that’s literally it. i am in awe of how quickly other bands can turn releases around, or tour actively. that was why we waited so long to do a record and now the record is proving to be as arduous as we feared it would. we’re inching closer to the finish line but we sadly prob won’t have it done in time for our plans in the spring. so, even if we finish recording, there are so many pieces of the puzzle that must be paid for and we are fucking broke. most of us are renting homes and don’t get paid much. though i know that it will be worth the wait. we are so thrilled about this material. the hardest part is always pushing yourself to achieve what you conceive as impossible. we are so close.

as the summer months went on, the band and the stream were both growing surely but slowly. i hit 1,000 followers on twitch as i watched a lot of folks start to come back to the stream week after week. i cannot emphasize how much streaming has enriched my life and made days i normally dread (mondays lol) ones i look forward to. this year i played games that i said for many years i wasn’t good enough for like mario sunshine and breath of the wild. it’s so uplifting to have folks you can get together with on weeknights and bullshit about life, while sharing the common experience of playing the same video games. it’s so weird. i am not an outgoing person, i’m horrible at small talk, and i usually assume the worst out of folks. but streaming is entirely different for me. i am so grateful to have mostly positive experiences with it.

we started to come up on the end of the year and i realized i was not going to achieve the major goals i wanted to set for myself. i don’t have a consistent subscriber base and the album kept having set backs. at this point i had no choice but to let it all go and just choose to enjoy life. i was able to have a small get together for my birthday which was incredibly fun. i did a hot sauce stream and managed to survive, but i will say i’ll probably need to get even hotter sauces for next time so that i can really do it justice. i finally got to celebrate a holiday with my family, in person. i recorded my feature on the upcoming poeta record, probably the earliest session i’ve ever had lmao, but i got it done! thanks to our friends in the ones you forgot, ourselves and poeta were able to return to house of independents and play an incredible gig. we’re very confident it was the biggest crowd we’ve played to. i’m so mad because we were so prepared but we (mostly me) still made some mistakes. however, it was still a success because we still made a good impression on folks and SO MANY FRIENDS CAME. like kevin and caleb drove up from virginia. it was an amazing weekend. we also had the WSA christmas party for the first time since 2019 and it was only 3 friends’ absences short of being perfect. my family got sick on christmas but it was still a good one. 

there are many insane plans for 2022. a lot involving music, and for stream, i gotta figure out some more creative stuff. but it’s going to be another busy year. if it’s like this past year, i’ll be able to handle it. though this wasn’t the year i wanted in terms of accomplishments, it was the year i needed. i needed to remember how important it is to experience life and be present for every positive moment. it makes me sad when each really wonderful day ends because i know i’ll never et to experience it exactly the same again. at this point, i am unfortunately still fearful about my future. i’m... phew. in the last year of my 20s. so i can’t really write what i’m thinking or i’m going to piss and cry and throw up. but while i will put a positive mindset first and foremost for 2022 i need a miracle to happen lmao. of course, i will accept how the year ends with grace, and be grateful. but i’ve been having mad anxiety re: when we’re finally going to start a family, when we’re going to have the money to move onto important milestones in our life... i don’t know that these can coexist financially with the band and streaming. and i am very, very scared. not gonna lie tho, if student debt was cancelled and cost of living went down, that would change everything. that would eliminate my anxiety. i don’t have much faith in the government/society tho lmao. so i am putting these thoughts out here in the open now and subsequently putting them away and never speaking of them til maybe next year. the most important thing is that i owe it to myself to not give up until i really can’t keep going, and that’s gonna be the plan for now i guess. 

so i try to document my life with the hopes that no matter what happens i have so much to look back on and be glad for, knowing that it was better i experienced it all than to have not tried. this reads really morbid, but i promise it’s a good thing. as gut-wrenching as it is to accept that time moves quickly without warning, i have to realize how many incredible memories i’ve created and that my life is simply going to take a different shape as i grow older. it’s funny though because i mentally feel the youngest i have ever felt in my life. i feel like my life is only getting cooler. so i would like for it to not all come to a screeching halt. pls. 

TLDR:

- got more serious with streaming and it’s slowly paying off

- first full year as dog owners

- watched so much anime (but that should be implied lmao)

- bought a new pc, jer bought me a new gaming chair, insane

- hot pot nights though that shit fogs up the whole house

- my band dropped our best single

- we dropped a HOT SAUCE. a longtime dream

- the new pokemon snap game. that is all. 

- played amazing gigs with wonderful friends

- jeremiah built me a garden box, grew hella crops

- played games i thought were too difficult for me to play

- CONVEYOR BELT SUSHI.

- met amazing people while streaming

- the two emote commissions i got to do, lmao

- had many wonderful hangs IN PERSON with FRIENDS because VACCINES

- took brawly to doggy meetups

- lots of fun writing sessions with my bandmates. many involving alcohol

- recorded guest vocals for many a friends

- recognized by my favorite band for doing a podcast about them

- finally having birthdays and holidays with family and friends in person

- PEDALBOARD DAY

- finishing song lyrics for the record, a few of which i banged out in one day

- lots of fun gaming nights with friends

- jeremiah’s love and support

[lindsaywesker]

Good morning! I hope you slept well and feel rested? Currently sitting at my desk, in my study, attired only in my blue towelling robe, enjoying my first cuppa of the day. Happy Throwback Thursday! A day for great memories (wink!)

Following on from words about social media yesterday, I had an interesting conversation with a young lady. She said she felt so overwhelmed by all the information coming at her, she deleted TikTok and Snapchat from her phone. No need to do that. Just stick your mobile phone in a drawer and leave it there. In fact, I want you to stick in your underwear drawer! Just underneath that saucy G-string you bought but never found a reason to wear! I want you to put your phone in there and go do something else. When I’m watching ‘This Is Us’, do you think I worry about my mobile phone? Give me an absorbing TV show or film and I won’t give my mobile phone a second thought! Most people won’t do that, though, because they have FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Missing out on what? If that person wants to shag you at 6.00 p.m. on Wednesday, trust me, they’ll still want to shag you at 6.00 p.m. on Thursday! So, the problem isn’t really social media, the problem is FOMO! I have no fear about missing out! In fact, you can miss me out if you’re going to play me another house mix of an old soul song! There’s no point in you looking down your nose at drug addicts, drunkards or compulsive gamblers because most of us are slaves to our mobile phones; total junkies! Do it! I dare ya! Put your phone in a drawer and walk away!

I went to Sainsbury’s on Sunday and picked up a few things for the week. £50, I thought, £60 at the most. When I got to check out, it was £75. No surprise then that the inflation rate has jumped to 4.2%, more than twice the Bank Of England’s 2% target. These great financial minds have no control of the economy! If you voted for them, enjoy your grocery bill! A three-year-old with an abacus could do a better job! And, if you voted for Brexit, enjoy your empty shelves!

The coming weeks will be fun! I’ve been booked to play at very cool events: Saturday, November 27: Soullife – The Crown, Shirley with Craig Williams, Joe Carter & Soulcadelic; Tuesday, December 28: Mi-Soul Christmas Party, E1, Unit 2, 110 Pennington Street, London E1W 2BB; New Year’s Eve: The White Lion, Streatham High Road. Not forgetting Ibiza Soul Week and the NSPCC Soul Night in Bournemouth next year! Hopefully, I’ll see you at one of them?

My aim is to get to 100 reviews for ‘Whatever Makes Them Dance’ (91 so far) and 40 reviews of ‘Keep It Fun’ by the end of the year, so I’d be very grateful if you’d read and review at least one of them. (Both available via Amazon.) I thank you.

Have a throbbing and thrusting Thursday (with hopefully a few thrills through your thoroughfare?) I love you all.

[an-abstract]

Albums of the Year

Day Three

Today we will be listening to LOVETAP! by Smallpools

I would like to start by thanking my lovely friend Jo for recommending this ablum to me! 

Personally I have never conscienously listened to anything by Smallpools but my Spotify says otherwise, so I can only conclude that this was on some playlist that I found on tiktok. I would like to add that this is perfectly valid because this feels like it should be the soundtrack to a mid ‘10s YA novel and I am saying this with my whole chest. When I picture an ablum that could be used to go with some sort of John Green Teenage Rebellion Novel, this is the album that comes to mind. This is the only correct answer and I will not be taking any citisism at this point. 

American Love - Very upbeat. Now I have never been to Warped Tour, but I do imagine this would be performed at least once. Now I don’t know if it is just my speakers or if it is the sound, but for some reason I am having a hard time understanding the words. I had to pull up the lyrics to this song just to understand what was being said. That might just be me but the singer lacks in the diction department. 

Killer Whales - In the best way possible this sounds like a one direction song that would be played in a futuristic dystopia, but only before we discover who the villain is and what the protagonist plans on doing about the villain. Also while I feel as though the killer whales are being used as a metaphor for the song writers feelings about themselves, we love an activist in this house. I also feel like the chorus was either look long or used too often as this song felt like it took absolutely forever to get done. 

Dreaming - This is the song that my Spotify claims that I have listened to and it all makes sense now. This song fits the teen between ‘14-’16 in 2015 vibes and I feel like the Smallpools fans that fit this category were very happy at the time of its release. This could easily have fit in with a 1 Direction/5SOS vibe.

Karaoke - A very different vibe, especially after Dreaming. I feel like I got whiplash with the speed of that vibe change. This is giving me very much Pick Me; We Need to Get Out of This Deadbeat Town vibes and it is for that reason I think this is my least favorite song on the album. There is just something about it that I don’t like about it. I think it might be that this feels like it should be a party song and it just isn’t.

Street Fight - So I was a young teen in 2015 and I am only now entering adulthood now, so I do not have much recollection of that time in my life. But if I had to guess this song sounds like it was ahead of its time. This feels like a 2017/18 song that would have hit towards the end of the summer just as people are making montoges of their summer time adventures to show their friends. Which is unfortunate because its a pretty alright song.

Mason Jar - Automatically I am turned off of this song, purely for the name of the song. I live in the south and I just don't like the mason jar aesthetic. Like I get it, but I don’t like it. I think this is a great song, but the title is just not it for me, especially because mason jars are mentioned once and never brought up again. I do however like the song writers ability to tell a story and the general plot that runs through the song which is enough to redeme it for me. Also it is so long, I thought it was over but I was only halfway through 

Over & Over - The only thing I have to say about this song is that the vibes for the song brought my dog into the room and that's is all.

Lovetap! - We love the name of the album also being a song title. I just say that the line “your blood is still so blind 20/20 don't come free to everybody” did not age well. Do I understand that it is about eyesight? Yes. But is that still something that resonated with my soul? Yes. I do really like the chorus of this song its catchy and is nice to listen to. 

What’s That a Picture Of? -  This is a total lets run away into the night song. It is fast paced with a nice bass line and some prominent drums. It also ovbious with the lyrics describing an encounter between two potential lovers meeting for the first time but one of them holding back on their true desires.

Dyin’ to Live - A FOMO pick me song. But also nostalgia and moving on from a toxic friendship. Its the way that I can almost too heavily relate to this song that is currently hurting me. This also gives me church camp that is also trying to appeal to non religious kids that are forced to go and I just can’t do that.

Admission to Your Party - The first few seconds of this song lead me down a Smallpools rabbit hole to check that whomever was singing was from America because all I am getting is European accent. This songs lyrics have me wondering if we like the person this is being directed at or not, because we want into the party but we also have a lot of words to say about what the party thrower is doing at that party.

9 to 5 - No. No. Absolutly not. I don’t like it. There is too much happening. This has a country and carrabian sound to it. It does not work. There is a good reason it is the shortest song. This is so heavily a skip and it by far my least favorite song of the year. Sorry Smallpools.

No Story Time - Lots of big words in the beginning of this song. Really packing a punch in the beginning to draw the listeners in. There is not much to say about this song other than I feel like some of the listeners might require a dictionary for listening to this song. Which is wildly juxtaposed with nearly the rest of the song.

(Submarine) - The song length to word ration is wild man. There are 15 words in the 3:17 minute song, which is awesome if you're into this. I, however am getting flashback to that part at the end of a souther baptist church service were you want to leave but the pastor has invited people to ‘accept to word’ and the band is trying to drag out this song to because so many people came up. I understand this in to universal but ifykyk.

[strangersontheelevator]

Reflections Upon Two Weeks of Quitting Social Media

I decided to quit social media for this entire summer after I realized that I truly needed a break from other human beings. I also have very ambitious career goals this summer, and I wanted to make sure that mindlessly scrolling through TikTok or experiencing FOMO from vacation pictures did not needlessly distract me from working during the next few months. Here is what I’ve learned so far!

Pros

1. I really, really don’t care about what other people are doing.

The funny thing is, when I went on TikTok or Instagram, I did care. In fact, when a girl I had never even spoken to posted a funny picture of her on spring break, I even texted my friends about it being jealous. Looking back, this was absurd. I literally had no clue who this girl was, and yet I found myself genuinely caring about what she was up to. I think this is one of the toxic effects of social media, and definitely is double-sided. These apps make you care about what other people are up to, and in turn people are forced to care about what you are up to, which gives you the validation that we all crave, and yet leaves us feeling jealous and not enough when we compare ourselves to others. However, even though it’s only been two weeks, I’ve realized that I have not even thought about that girl who posts a lot. She does not occupy any headspace since I deleted Instagram, which should have been the case given that I do not interact with her at all. Taking this break has made me realize that my mind is freed from thinking about these strangers or even acquaintances online. It’s really nice.

2. I’m finding more time to devote to my hobbies.

I finished a book, which definitely would not have happened if I were still on TikTok. That app is literally the biggest black hole in terms of time. It’s so easy to open up an app like that whenever you have a minute to spare, and you end up losing any sense of time. TikTok essentially acts like a drug--I find myself forgetting when I started to use the app, and also craving to open the app a lot of the time. Without an easy way to account for my extra time, I’ve been forced to listen to more music, read more, spend more time journalling and picking up hobbies like this (writing!), and it’s really benefitted me. I feel as though I am finally devoting my energy to things that I definitely would not have before. This is most likely because I’m doing things that are more fulfilling during these breaks. Additionally, although I don’t really count watching TV as a fulfilling hobby, I’ve definitely had more time to do so, and it’s made me really happy. Even though TV is not an intellectual task, it’s still really nice to be able to catch up on shows that I never would have if I were still scrolling through my feed or watching silly TikToks.

3. I’m finding it so much easier to focus.

I never realized how much I opened my phone until I deleted all social media apps from my phone. I find myself constantly opening my phone and swiping to where Instagram used to be, and then closing it when I remember that it’s no longer on my phone. This is especially apparent when I’m studying for long periods of time. I know that if I still had TikTok, opening it for a “second” would definitely turn into at least 20 minutes, and my productivity streak would most likely have been broken. I’m studying a lot more as a result of not having access to these platforms.

Cons

1. Going back is just as hard.

About three days ago, I logged back into Instagram for just about 10 minutes, and ended up actually almost having an anxiety attack as a result. Which seems so ridiculous. But I saw accounts of people that I wanted to avoid, and opened up DM’s where my friends were talking about something triggering to me without them realizing, and yeah. It was this weird moment of sensory overload, which definitely would not have occurred if I were constantly using the app. I saw way too many pictures at once of people that I literally forgot about, and saw accounts of people that I wanted to avoid. All in all, it was horrible. I ended up deactivating my account as an attempt to prevent myself from logging back in. Perhaps I just was not in the right place to revisit Instagram, but still, quitting social media means that you will definitely need time to readjust to going back to it.

2. I feel incredibly disconnected and lonely.

It’s been really hard, especially because I don’t really have any close friends around me this summer, to feel companionship. Although social media is definitely a facade of connection, it still feels as though you have a lot of people that interact with you, and you also are interacting with a lot of different people’s lives. Knowing what pretty much no one is doing this summer also definitely takes a toll on me. I feel very alone, and it’s hard to remember who my friends are when they’re not physically close to me. Although I’m obviously texting a slew of my friends from college and home, they’re not there all the time. In social media apps, there is constantly someone to watch and talk to, and I miss that a lot sometimes. Even if it is strangers that I don’t care about, it’s still rewarding to stay updated and in the loop about their lives. I’m basically just interacting with my parents in real life, and I feel lonely at times. I wonder if this would not be the case if I were on social media.

3. It’s still just as easy to procrastinate.

I’m not a saint. I’m still procrastinating, hell, even by writing this right now. I still spend a lot of time on YouTube, which is the only social media I’m allowing myself to use. I also just find myself stuck on the internet researching weird things. Yesterday I was researching the philosophy of love and ended up watching a slam poem, then reading the entirety of a really long Reddit thread. Watching TV also definitely is still just as much of a hinge on my productivity, but I have to accept that I am not perfect. With access to the internet, there is an infinite amount of possibility. Quitting social media does not limit the possibility at all--in fact, it probably widens the things that I do on the internet as a result, because I’m not completely enslaved to the same three websites.

Overall, I intend to continue with my respite from social networking apps. I’m feeling the positives and the negatives quite strongly, which I did not expect. I thought it would be one or the other. However, this is an exciting journey in my life, and by the end of the summer I’m going to decide whether or not this will be a permanent change in my life. Thanks for reading, even though no one is. I love having a platform to write about all of this. - C 

[outfitandtrend]

[ad_1] Some people think Australia deserves an all business class airline. But until our population grows significantly, it’s probably not a viable ambition.As the travel industry rebounds, Australians are finally getting back into the swing of travel again (despite some people being a bit rusty). As part of that, all sorts of things are heating up. Project Sunrise is back on. People are remembering how annoying long haul flights are. Business class fanatics are even remembering how how the pointy end isn’t always everything it’s cracked up to be… RELATED: Why Flying First Class Is More Stressful Than Flying Business Class Speaking of business class, though it has its flaws, we still would take that over economy any day. And – environmental concerns aside – we can’t help but look at Europe with a severe case of jealousy right now. Why? The following video, recently thrust in front of our faces on TikTok, gave us a serious case of FOMO. In fact it had us (briefly) thinking: Australia really ought to have an all business class airline of its own. Watch TikTok user @robineblickman show off her all business class flight from Paris to NYCThe video, posted by traveller @robineblickman, gives viewers a look at what it’s like to fly business class on La Compagnie – an all business class airline – from Paris to New York. Robine shows off how her journey “started with some champagne and before we knew it we were up in the air.” “Then the first course was some sushi which was super good and I had some curry with fish afterwards,” she gushed. She then watched a movie, went to sleep, had some “amazing dessert” and then was “bored.” So far so normal. “Before we knew it we arrived at New York.” You get the gist. RELATED: First Time In Business Class: How My First Trip Ruined Me For Life Unfortunately, despite our strongest wishes, it’s unlikely we’ll see an all business class airline in Australia any time soon. Image Credit: World Airline NewsOne upstart airline – OzJet – tried to create an all business class airline, between Melbourne and Sydney, back in 2005, but only survived 14 weeks before the owner, millionaire Paul Stoddary, gave up and said: “There just isn’t a market [for it].” He also said that Australia hadn’t been able to support three strong domestic carriers for a while, calling the situation: “A reality that goes back to the old Ansett.” Until Australia reaches the population size of Europe (or something closer to it), it seems the best we can wish for is more business class seats you can upgrade to with points. Read Next [ad_2] Source link

[umichenginabroad]

Midterms, Birthdays, New Flatmates, and Recharging

Prepping for Midterms

I’ve been in Madrid for exactly one month. Honestly, I just noticed that this second and it might be slightly freaking me out. We have finally begun to settle into the groove of things. I even have my first two midterms for my Electric Circuits Class and Thermodynamics next week (yay!, super stoked about that one).

Birthdays!

We’ve celebrated several birthdays over the past week and a half which has been both a blast and an exhausting endeavor. (A sprint?, A marathon?, no this was a whole Iron Man.) It seemed that everyone really great birthdays though which makes my heart fill with warm, bubbly feelings.

New Flatmates!

Most of my new flat mates have moved in this week and they are awesome. We had this super cute family dinner on Sunday where everyone made something. There were brownies, empanadas, pasta, charcuterie boards, spinach dip, pizzas, and much more. It felt so wholesome getting to know everyone and just being able to actually spend quality time with them.

Taking Time to Recharge :)

I did want to address a couple of things when going abroad. Things can be extremely overwhelming. I live in a flat with 10 other people. I would 100 percent consider myself an extrovert but going an entire month with essentially no alone time takes a toll on you. I wanted to suggest some tips for how I have been personally recharging which has really helped me enjoy the moments that I spend with people more.

Tips:

1. FOMO sucks, but you need alone time

It can be so easy to forget how to say ‘No’ to others when you’ve just moved abroad and you want to try all of these new things. People are constantly going out and doing things and you obviously don’t want to miss out. I am a huge supporter of saying ‘Yes’ to as much as possible so you can push yourself out of your comfort zone. However, if you do not give yourself time to recharge, you quite literally cannot be at your best self to grow outside of those comfort zones. So watch some Netflix instead of going out, or read a book instead of going to watch a movie that you honestly are not that interested in, etc.

2. Take yourself on a self-date (No actually, this is the best thing ever)

I am not just referring to the alone time before where you lay in bed and watch Tiktoks or Netflix, but go out and take yourself to lunch, or a movie, or even just a park. I have gained so much confidence by doing this, and it has given me a great outlet for recharging my social battery. I am currently writing this from El Parque Retiro and it is honestly the most energized I have felt in several days. Also, it gives you a lot of time to really explore the city around you.

3. Sleep

I know. You are in a foreign country. You think you’re invincible. It’s go-go-go all of the time. Stop. Go to bed.

I only have three because honestly, I am still trying to figure out this whole balance thing.

Here’s a photo from a self-date I took myself on today.

Hasta luego! <3

Paulina

Industrial and Operations Engineering

IPE Universidad Pontificia Comillas, Madrid

[thelistbancroft]

Digital Minimalism

What does it mean to be addicted to social media? What does it mean to disconnect from it all? That’s what I’m figuring out by reading Cal Newport’s Digital Minimalism. Personally, I would love to live a life where my phone doesn’t control me, where Twitter doesn’t ruin my day, being bombarded by comments like “ratio or youngboy is better,” where I won’t have to depend on my likes from Instagram for confidence in my social life. Digital Minimalism provides the best information and data to apply to your own life: such as drawing on real-life experiences, conducting simple experiments for digital minimalism, and simply providing the psychological facts that come with separating yourself from unnecessary technology. As a teenager who uses social media a lot, I turned to Digital Minimalism in search of answers, and instead I found something better: facts. I could go on and on about how staring at a screen could fry your brain and ruin your life, but only you can make the change in your life with technology. Newport makes the journey himself to understand the benefits of digital minimalism, and then uses his findings to inspire the reader to make change. 

The teenagers of this generation use social media more than they need too, digital minimalism is for you if any of the following pictures describe you:

Yes, I know these may describe you (don’t lie), and that is totally okay. It’s not your fault that you can’t stop looking at your TikTok and Instagram feed, blame the social media companies themselves. Digital Minimalism talks about how major social media corporations make their apps user-friendly and super easy to use just for you to get hooked. For example, the simple ability to scroll on an app. Is simply swiping your finger up satisfying to view your “For You” page? Features of social media manage to harness your brian’s dopamine, which is the part of our brain which determines what is worth doing again. So if you were to post something that gets a lot of approval, our brain continues to want that approval because it brings us a sensation of confidence. The question of whether we can be ‘addicted’ to our phones in the same way that we can be addicted to substances such as alcohol and drugs is controversial. But there’s no denying that the dopamine system is involved in both. Every time we check our social media feeds and find something novel or exciting waiting for us (in other words, every time we check social media), our brains release dopamine, which tells our brains that checking social media is worth doing again. And when you add in notifications and alerts, it isn’t long before our brains begin to release dopamine just in anticipation of checking our phones. 

Our phones and apps also take advantage of our inherent social impulses and anxieties, including our fear of missing out (FOMO) and the impression that we need to reciprocate when we feel someone has done something for us. Take, for example, those ticks on Facebook, WhatsApp and other platforms that indicate when your friend has read your message. Your friend knows you’ve seen those ticks, so there’s now a social pressure for them to respond. You might even get emails telling you that you have unread messages and notifications, piling on the pressure to log in, lest you miss out on some news or leave someone hanging. And then there are those little dots that indicate when someone is in the process of replying to your message. What’s the likelihood you’re going to put down your phone before you’ve seen their response? Mind you, all this information can be attained by reading Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport.

Now you can’t just drop your phone and social media like the bad habit it is. But what you can do to start off digital minimalism is simply reflect on what social media gives you, and if there are any other ways to get those things. For instance, if you use Twitter for news, try to cut back on that and find another source of news. Reflect then on how to put your internal findings to action. Remember, anyone can claim they’re not addicted to social media, but what can you do to prove it? Reading Digital Minimalism is a great way to start your journey on being free from technology!

[writingrants]

Don’t Let Social Media Control You

Gen Z, the generation that I am a part of, is known as the first generation to grow up with social media. Gen z is the lab rats of social media platforms. In reality, no one knows how it is going to change the way we function as humans in society in the long run. There are tons of articles filled with opinions on how children growing up with technology should be parented. Mental health is becoming an increasing concern for Gen Z with reported increase in depression and anxiety.  The research conducted about social media and mental health is done by the generation that didn't grow up with it. Therefore, the information is biased toward their own childhood experiences. This leaves researchers giving terrible parenting advice that is destroying relationships between parents and children causing further mental health problems.

Technology has risen and with it, mental health problems. Not just technology, but social media platforms are an addiction. It is the world's biggest most addictive drug, so addictive you couldn’t live your life without it. Social Media isn’t going anywhere, technology is never going to take a step back. The people that suggest that as a solution, are just the ones that don’t know how to send a text message. Instead of trying to stop what already happened, we need to figure out how to stop these negative effects from taking place. This includes real research that doesn’t just tell us it's bad but gives us realistic solutions. An article on the McLean Hospital website talks about a study on the effects of social media on undergraduates. The experiment took 143 people and put them in two groups. One group had limited social media time and the other continued usual use. “The limited group showed significant reductions in loneliness and depression during those three weeks over the group that continued using social media. Both groups showed significant decreases in anxiety and fear of missing out compared to where they were at the study’s beginning”(McLean).  The author uses a confident tone about the experiment results and then at the end of the paragraph she says ‘But all of the people in the experiments had less anxiety’. Even though she thought she had proved the people that didn’t use social media had less anxiety she contradicted the whole thing at the end. It is extremely annoying because people will read that and don’t even notice that part and that's why it's written that way. On a hospital website one would expect more, but this really just goes to prove how little evidence there is about the effects of social media. How are we supposed to trust research of the effects of social media? Something like this is on a hospital website. A source that someone would turn too, or expect to be reliable. Articles like this are the reason that people don’t know what to do about their mental health problems. They tell us social media is bad, it causes mental health problems so stop using it. That is one of the many problems this generation is struggling with. The older generation blames everything on phones and social media and says just to stop using it. What they don’t realize is that we really can’t stop.

There are articles everywhere about how social media is actually hurting us socially and we are actually less connected but for Gen Z that's not true. It is how we connect and how we know how to connect. The research that is out there is all guesses based off of past generations data relation to now. You can google search anything and get a million results on one topic. There is so much information out there, how can you know what information is real? “There’s always been 'biased news' or propaganda, but what’s different now is that the internet is part of the equation and we can't trust the evidence of our own eyes. A website may look professional, but does that company really exist and have the images been Photoshopped?”(Nicky Cox). Parents of these Gen Z kids don’t know what information to trust and how to handle it. Every Time I get a buzz on my phone I have to check it. It's like an automatic response in my engraved muscle memory that just happens. This addiction is fueled by the fear of missing out or FOMO. In the time I may not be on snapchat, my friends that are on snapchat planned something without me. Now I don’t know that everyone is dressing cute at lunch in an hour and I won’t have time to get ready cause I didn’t check my phone in time. Believe it or not, this is a major looming anxiety that affects not only teens but everyone with technology. At all ages people are addicted to their phones. Everywhere you go people's heads are bent over a screen and saying its all Gen Z is completely biased. Why are people getting upset at their children for being on their phones at the table when they are doing the same exact thing.

When your mom takes away their kids  phone to ‘make sure they aren't not doing anything bad’ what is she really doing? Texting is a form of a private conversation, so what now parents need to know every conversation their kid has? Sure parents want to protect them from online predators, but by spying on them they are just damaging trust and overstepping boundaries. A kid that has a healthy trusting relationship with their parent is going to be able to tell their parent if someone is attacking them online. “I see parents who are just plain old spying on their kids. Parents should begin by trusting their children. To not even give your kid the benefit of the doubt is incredibly damaging to the relationship”(Rachel Ehmke). A kid that gets their phone taken away randomly is never going to come to their parents cause if they do, their phone gets taken away and they get punished. If your parents don’t trust you, then why would you trust them? Then they go to school and everyones talking about that funny video or crazy post and they are sitting there mad. Oh, your friends are hanging out tonight? Well guess what no one told you cause it was in the group chat you didn’t have access to. Even if someone tells you in person and you go then what now? You are sitting there while everyone sends TikToks to each other and posting on Instagram. Then it's time to go home but you don't know if your mom’s ever coming and you're sitting on the curb alone. What's stopping anyone from kidnapping you then? So now you are being punished because your parents didn’t educate you on online safety or you sent a message to your friend they didn’t like. Come on parents do better.

The research conducted about social media and mental health is done by the generation that didn't grow up with it. Therefore, the information is biased toward their own childhood experiences leaving researchers giving terrible parenting advice. This is destroying relationships between parents and children causing further mental health problems. Technology is here to stay and advance rapidly. In today's time without technology, no one would be able to get an education. Kids would have to go to school and end up killing their teacher in the process. Parents need to do better and stop neglecting to actually be good parents. A child's mental health is also a part of a parent's job so stop contributing to it.  

Annotated Bibliography

Ehmke, Rachel. “How Using Social Media Affects Teenagers.” Child Mind Institute, 16 June 2020, childmind.org/article/how-using-social-media-affects-teenagers/. Rachel Ehmke, the author of this article, is the managing editor at the child mind institute. She explains how social media affects teens and describes how overall social culture is different as a teenager then it has been for past generations. She addresses parent concerns about online imposters and isn’t afraid of calling parents for unjust parenting. The article talks about how parents are failing to educate their children about online safety. This article also includes common sense solutions that are often overlooked by parents.

“'Like' It or Not, Social Media's Affecting Your Mental Health.” How Does Social Media Affect Your Mental Health | McLean Hospital, 26 Feb. 2020, www.mcleanhospital.org/news/it-or-not-social-medias-affecting-your-mental-health.      McLean Hospital, talks about how social media impacts the teen brain. This article is intended to educate parents about how technology affects the development of their children. With the knowledge that this is on a hospital website instantly you become more trusting of the information. However the sources factual evidence is not backed up by any real proof that its real. It often throws out random names when talking about facts like the reader knows who they are talking about. This makes the reader think what they are reading is true but in reality it is just something they are making up. This article is very biased and gives out terrible parent advice.

Kamenetz, Anya. “Parents, Sometimes You're The Problem When It Comes To Tech Use.” NPR, NPR, 21 July 2019, www.npr.org/2019/07/21/742168987/parents-sometimes-youre-the-problem-when-it-comes-to-tech-use.  Anya Kamenetz talks about how parents are hypocrites. They want to keep their kids from technology when they are even more addicted themselves. They also talk about how parents are unsure of what to do or how to parent with all the information and opinions online. Most importantly she says “Don’t use technology to stalk your children”. This is one of the main points in my argument and is important to stress this statement.  

Duncan, Apryl. “9 Ways Social Media Has Affected the Way We Parent.” Verywell Family, 5 Aug. 2020, www.verywellfamily.com/social-media-changed-way-we-parent-4098583. This article by Apryl Duncan is about how parents are really the ones at fault. Oftentimes children's problems are blamed on being on the phone and aren’t taken seriously. Apryl talks about parents posting everything their child does on social media from the first day they are born. Parents are oversharing and creating a huge digital footprint for their child before they can even consent to it. This ruins self esteem making their kid always having to have a picture perfect moment to post online. They make their children fame hungry by comparing them to others online whose posts are getting more likes.

Darby Saxbe. “The Social Media Disconnect.” Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, 26 Feb. 2018, www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/home-base/201802/the-social-media-disconnect. This article is by Annemarie Kelleghan, a graduate student in the USC Psychology Department's Clinical Science program. This article contains factual evidence using credible sources. Annemarie talks about how the statistics of how social media is making us less connected. It also talks about the long term effects of health caused by social media. The article also provides real solutions that you can apply to your life today.