#this is why i’m terrified of friendships. it’s so scary bringing up things that make me uncomfortable

[crabussy]

yoooo guess who lost a close friend because I asked her not to make fun of my autistic brothers special interests behind his back and she instantly accused me of gaslighting (then accused me of blowing up at her when I calmly stated that made me upset and I wouldn’t gaslight because that would make me a bad person and a shitty friend) and said that I was “clearly angry at (her) and thinks (she’s) a terrible person” even though I!! explicitly stated!! multiple times!!!!! that I wasn’t angry with her and just wanted to discuss this so that she knows my boundaries and so that we’re on the same page!!! because she’s a good friend who I value dearly and I want her to understand how this made me feel so that we can move forward!!!!!!!!! ok!!

[filmbyjy]

ni-ki – bad boys

— bad boys main masterlist

pairing: nishimura riki x fem!reader

summary: everyone thought ni-ki's life was all rainbows and unicorns but it wasn't. he was constantly bullied by some boys and he had a pretty shit dad. what happens when you stepped in and came in to ni-ki's life?

warning: just ni-ki's family being pretty shitty (not in real life obviously), bullies being shit heads to riki :( mostly fluff but there is slight angst on one part. overall, it's a tamed fanfic.

no.of words: 4.3K words

taglist: @nyfwyeonjun @ncityy04 @cutiejseong @minkyeos @madebyreyy (@onyourecha) @yuakagi @hoonstrology @luvrjn @kawaiisharkcopjudge @missmadwoman @aerinaga @jiwlys @wtfhyuck @astrosmistisa @woniesbakery @purplepuppychild

NOTE: so idk what the shit is bisco's gender. previously i wrote him as a girl because ni-ki never mentioned it but now that he mentioned it, i changed it to a boy. then again, ni-ki still has zero idea if it's a girl or boy. i just went with what he officially stated, a boy.

dance prodigy, a happy child who was born in a pretty rich family. These were titles riki grew up with but he wasn’t happy. Yes, his family was rich but it wasn’t a close one. a soon to be broken family, one last crack and he could kiss his family tree goodbye. At the age of 10, riki was a very shy and quiet child. He was also very frail, skinny and many people thought he wasn’t fed right. He used to get bullied all the time and since he wasn’t great at fighting, he could only scream at them to go away.

Never worked once. Obviously, you’d notice riki. He was the only child who screamed out loud during recess. you never liked bullies so you decided to help him out.

“I’ll tell the teachers.” you say as you placed your tiny hands on your waist, giving a confident stance. The bullies laughed.

“That’s so scary. The teachers don’t scare us.” you rolled your eyes at their words and just grabbed their soccer ball.

“See this?” you point to their soccer ball before pressing on it hard and it deflates, “that will be your head if you don’t get out of here.” their eyes widened, they were cowered in fear. that would teach them to mess with you.

“run along now.” you smirked. They left the place and you turned to riki, he too was terrified. I mean who wouldn’t be if someone threatened to deflate their head like a soccer ball. “hey, don’t worry. I won’t hurt you.” you held out your hand and riki hesitantly takes it.

A start to blooming friendship between you and boy.

At age 13, both you and riki were sitting under the night sky, basking in the pretty sight. He turned to look at you, you were peacefully looking at the stars and the bright crescent moon. He felt his heart flutter, you certainly looked beautiful and it’s the fact that you were looking at the sky with such curiosity, melted riki.

“hey.” riki voices out. You hummed and turned to him. “Remember when we first met when we were 10?” you snort.

“Those bullies again? please, I genuinely think they’re still scared of me.” riki laughs.

“How did you even deflate the ball.”

“easy, sewing needles.” you smiled.

“But it’s hard to poke through.”

“with a lot of force, i’m sure anything is possible riki.” riki felt his heart rate increase. He shouldn’t, you were his best friend. Nothing more. He smiles at you.

About a week later, you were waiting for riki at the playground near his house. He was taking a little too long and so you decided to walk up to his house since you’ve been there once. Riki didn’t exactly allow you to visit his house a bunch and you wondered why. He usually made excuses that his parents were home and so he just didn’t want to make them mad by bringing friends over. You just accepted it and moved on from it but now you were standing outside his door.

You could hear crashing of things all over the place, glass breaking, screaming and yelling, mumbled voices that seem to slur some curse words out loud. It terrified you thinking about riki’s safety. Speaking of which, you stepped back and you realised the boy had walked out of the front door. He doesn’t notice your presence just yet and when he does, his eyes widen.

“(name)?”

“riki. Are you okay? What’s with that ruckus in your house.” you say.

“I’m fine. Didn’t i tell you to wait at the playground?”

“You were taking longer than expected, i was worried.”

“I told you to just wait. Is it too much to ask?” riki says as he rolls his eyes.

“Like i said riki, i was fucking concerned. If you don’t care about my concerns for you then fuck i’ll just i leave i guess.”

“Yeah, you should.” riki says. You turned back to him.

“wow, can’t believe you’re such a bitch.”

“can’t believe you’re my best friend.” riki says.

“wow, alright. I guess i’ll just leave forever. you and i are done.”

“you and i have always been done, kang (name).” riki says. you felt tears prick your eyes, you were sure your tears were about fall since your eyes were glossy.

“fuck you, nishimura riki.” you say for the last time before walking away.

Now the sweet numbers of 16. your birthday had passed earlier this week and you didn’t celebrate it with anyone. You used to spend it with riki but…you two were now practical strangers. Your grandparents did celebrate it but it wasn’t those grand parties, they simply cooked you food and wished you a happy birthday. It was perfect of course since you loved them.

“I’ll go now, bye grandma.” you gave her a peck on the cheek and left the house. It’s been 3 years walking to school alone without riki. You missed him but you knew that friendship was now destroyed. It was time you moved on from him.

Honestly, it sounded like you and riki were dating but obviously you weren’t. Feelings were definitely evident in that friendship but the both of you were too young and afraid to make a move. You were still young and you knew. You made it to school, you were sort of a popular girl. Many girls looked up to you because you were pretty and kind but you were humble.

“(name), here you go.” a boy hands you a rose. You shook your head.

“no, it’s okay. hand these over to someone who deserves it more, i don’t deserve you.” you say. The boy nods. You gave him a warm smile and left for your locker, which happens to be next to riki. You’ve never bumped into him once after that fight, though you secretly wished to.

“so my dear best friend. how are you holding up? still not over your dear riki yet?” sarah nudges your shoulder. you rolled your eyes. (oooo wonder who sarah will be and which member will be next after riki)

“you’ve been pestering me since last year, sarah. you know my answers to that.” you say. sarah sighs.

“I’m sorry, i’ll treat you to ice cream later since i reminded you of him again.”

“yeah, alright. It’s the very least you could do for me.” you say. You grabbed your textbook and pencil case before shoving your bag into the locker and closing it shut.

“Oh come on, my dear (name). I’m joking. You know it.” you playfully roll your eyes.

“Hmm, remind me why you’re my best friend.”

“Oh come on, (name).” sarah whines. you laughed.

“I’m kidding, let’s go.”

You must be wondering why you’ve never once bumped into riki in the hallways. Well, he avoids you. He knows you’re still mad at him and he’s afraid to even approach you.

“yo ni-ki, you can do better than this.” jake says.

“hyung, it’s not simple.” riki says as he aims the pistol over at the practice target.

“she’s your friend.”

“was my friend. I fucked up.”

“How bad could you fuck up a friendship. Besides, she should understand from your point of view that you have a shitty dad and shitty life.”

“That’s the thing! I didn’t tell her about my past life. The truth.” jake places the gun down.

“Why?” he asks curiously.

“I was afraid she’d be terrified of me. Make fun of me.”

“Now, ni-ki, who in their right minds would make fun of you for having an abusive and constant drunk dad?”

“I was afraid of giving her the wrong impression. she already helped me with some bullies when i was younger. I didn’t want her to keep protecting me!”

“And why? What’s wrong of her protecting you.”

“I’m not a child, i-i.” riki holds back himself, embarrassed about what he wants to say.

“You what ni-ki.” jake says.

“I want to be the one protecting her.”

Class ends, you were walking over to your locker again and there you saw riki. He was taller, his hair was black, was that an undercut? Either way, he definitely looked different. you stopped in your tracks. It seems like riki felt a gaze on him so he turns to look over. Both of your eyes met, it felt like the world stopped for the both of you. Your heart rate increases quickly by the second.

“(name), let’s go get some lunch. I’m hungry.” you turned to sarah.

“yeah, let’s go.” you glanced over at riki and he was still looking over at you.

“ni-ki? hello?? We are asking you if you want food. jay hyung and sunghoon hyung are going to sneak out of school to grab something from mcdonald’s.” sunoo says.

“huh?” riki turns to the older boy. sunoo sighs.

“It was her, wasn’t it?” sunoo asks. riki looks down. He feels a pat on his back.

“hey, riki. It’s okay, she’ll come around to you eventually.” jay says.

“yeah, you just have to be confident and apologise to her.” heeseung says.

“will she even forgive me.” riki says.

“A true friend would forgive you even if you’ve done something very wrong. Yes, they will feel betrayed but over time, they will learn to forgive you.” jake says.

“wise words from an asshole who is about to break an innocent girl’s heart.” heeseung smirks.

“Oh fuck off, hyung.” jake says.

“woah, can’t believe i finally got to see your ex best friend. he’s handsome.” sarah says.

“not another word from you about riki.” you warn her.

“Oh come on, is it because you have a crush on him?” you didn’t say anything. “shut up, you actually like him??”

“I’m not going to entertain you right now. Didn’t you say you were hungry?”

“hunger can wait. I need to know what you actually feel about riki.”

“sarah please, not right now.” you say.

“fine, but i’m going to continue to milk the info out of you non-stop.” sarah says.

School ends pretty quickly and so you and sarah went to the ice cream parlor since she did owe you ice cream. Just as you enter, you surprisingly feel something. A coincidence that you saw riki here.

“The universe really hates me today.” you mumbled. Sarah turns to look at your direction.

“Oh damn, 7 hot boys at one table.” sarah fans herself. You turned to look at her. “Oh sorry, 6 boys, riki is for you.”

“fuck off.” you slapped her shoulder. She giggles.

“alright i’ll go buy your damn ice cream and then we can go to your house.”

“Thank you sarah.” you smiled. you didn’t want to exactly stand here when riki was right there so you decided to wait outside. However…

“(name) wait.” a familiar voice says as he grabs onto your wrist, preventing you from moving.

“riki could you please let go.” you say, not wanting to turn around. You knew you’d break down if you saw right into his eyes.

“can we at least talk?”

“what is there to talk about. you were the one who wanted to end the friendship.”

“(name) please.” you looked back at riki. everyone’s eyes were on the both of you.

“This is looking a lot like they had a bad breakup.” jake whispers to the other boys. The other boys just agreed.

“fine, let’s go.” you dragged riki to somewhere else. At that time, you thought the alleyway was an okay place to possibly a safe place to have a convo. Clearly, you thought wrong.

“what is it?”

“(name) i-”

Someone comes around the corner holding a gun in his hand, your eyes widened. riki turns around and he hides you behind him. you notice his friends ganging up behind the guy before they knock him out with a whack to the head. you yelp and hide behind riki completely.

“hey, we have to run. I called the cops and you know we aren’t exactly the best people.” one of his friends say. riki turns to look back at you.

“I’m sorry. We’ll talk another time.” riki runs away with his friends. You were left there, shaken up. The cops arrived and so you had to tell them what happened, well you didn’t mention the fact the guy got knocked out by riki’s friends. they thanked you and so you left with sarah to your home.

“Are you okay? No bullets or injuries?” sarah worriedly inspects you.

“I’m fine. Just traumatised. It’s not everyday you get held at gunpoint.”

“Here.” she hands you your ice cream and you thanked her.

riki falls onto his bed. after that incident with his family 3 years back, he moved in with heeseung. riki didn’t want to live with his family, not when he couldn’t stand his dad’s behaviour.

“hey look, we’re sorry you couldn’t talk to your girl and clarify what happened.” jay says. riki glares at jay.

“hyung, we are just friends.”

“Used to be.” sunoo adds.

“wow thank you hyung, i totally didn’t know that me and her used to be friends.” riki sarcastically says.

“Alright there, mr.grumpy pants. We’ll make it up to you.” sunghoon says.

“And how?”

The sounds of your voice muffled by the tape across your lips. a potato sack over your head, you were trying to wiggle out of your tied hands. Riki’s jaw drops.

“hyung, i asked you how. NOT KIDNAP HER!”

“hey, this is the only thing we’re great at. We are the ‘bad guys’ after all.” sunghoon says.

“jungwon hyung, how could you let this slide? Aren’t you the leader.” riki whines.

“I did but hyung kept pulling the ‘im older’ card and i couldn’t do anything about it.” jungwon huffs.

“well, she’s here now. Talk to her. We’ll give you two some space.” heeseung says before pushing the other 5 boys out of the room. Riki huffs, this was going to be extra hard to please you.

The potato sack was pulled off your head and you first noticed riki.

“hMH mHM, mmMM MhMHh mHM.” you tried to say.

“sorry.” he carefully peels the duct tape off your lips.

“RIKI WHAT THE FUCK.” riki cringes at your yelling.

“sorry about this. this was my friend’s idea for making up for me. I just didn’t expect him to literally just kidnap you.”

“well, he did.”

“I’m really sorry for that. I’m also really sorry for what i did back then. I just was too stressed over my family, my dad.”

“why didn’t you tell me your family was like this.” you say.

“I just was too afraid you’d make fun of me and plus you’ve been protecting me for 3 years back then. I wanted to be the one who protected you for a change.” the words just roll of riki’s tongue so easily and he didn’t even realise he said it. you blushed, “hey. why are you blushing?” riki looks at you.

“N-nothing.” you mentally cursed yourself for letting your heart flutter and for letting riki see you blushing. “b-but i’m still mad at you!” you glared at riki.

“I know and i’m sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” riki says. You sighed. “So? Friends?” riki asks.

“It’s not going to be easy to win me back, idiot.” you say.

“Again, i know and i’ll do anything for you.” riki enthusiastically says. He was like an energetic little puppy. Except he’s 6 feet tall and perhaps he’s gotten a tad bit stronger.

“Anything huh.” he nods. “alright, then cut the ropes and sneak me back into my house. It’s fucking 1am and my grandparents will freak out if they find out i’m gone.”

“right!” riki grabs his pocket knife and sliced the rope open. you could finally feel your wrists. Right on queue, his friends walked in. jay slaps sunghoon’s back.

“Apologise.” jay tells sunghoon. sunghoon scratches the back of his head.

“umm, look. I’m sorry for kidnapping you, i didn’t think it through i guess.” jay smacks the back of sunghoon’s head. “ow, fine. I’m truly sorry. I didn’t think it through properly and should have listened to my other friends about it.”

“hyungs, i know you’re not the one who did it but you guys didn’t even try to stop him, so apologise to her too.” riki folds his arms.

“riki, it’s okay. just get me home.” you say.

“okay.” the both of you leave but not before riki throws a glare at the others. you made it over to the garage.

“so why aren’t any of them following us?”

“I’m driving.” he swings his keys and hands you a helmet. your eyes widen.

“riki, this is-”

“Illegal? well, unfortunately that’s how i live (name).” riki says. you hesitantly got on the bike. “hold on tight.” riki clicks on the remote for the garage door and drives off. You yelped, it was fast. Too fast for your liking but you felt the adrenaline rushing in. you hesitantly let riki go. The cold wind blowing your hair, you liked this, it was fun. However, all great things had to come to an end.

“We’re here.”

“You still remember my address.”

“sure, it’s been so long (name) but  i’m your best friend. why wouldn’t i know where you live?”

“I don’t know. I thought after all those years, you’d forget about me. Besides, you’ve turned into…whatever this is.” you say. riki chuckles.

“well, i quite like my new look. it’s something different.” he smiles.

“It certainly makes you look different, you don’t even look 16.”

“I’m turning 17 soon, what’s the bad thing?” he smirks. you rolled your eyes.

“You can leave, i’ll sneak back into my room through the bedroom window.” you say. you were about to leave when riki holds onto your wrist.

“are we okay now? i just miss you…and us.” riki says. you were blushing but thank god it was dark out.

“Like i said before.” you smirked, “you’re going to have to earn it.” you smiled and left after. Riki’s heart races, god he truly was in love with you.

The next week, you were opening up your locker when someone runs past you, making you topple over your books. you glared at the person who runs past you and just sighed. you picked up the books of the ground. last week wasn’t all that great, your sister was practically loosing it and you wanted to help her. You knew you had to blame your parents for it. you felt bad. she promised she would call that night but never did, now she isn’t around, she quite literally disappeared.

riki wasn’t even around too. you wondered why he just disappeared when he said he wanted to make things right between the both of you. You hoped what he said was true because you missed him too but judging by his disappearance, maybe it was a lie.

A hand stops in front to help grab the book from the ground. You looked up.

“riki?”

“Missed me.” he smiles. you playfully rolled your eyes.

“As if.” you say. he suddenly grabs you and drags you out of school.

“riki, what the fuck are you doing. we have school and my grandparents will kill me if i skip a day.”

“just follow me. I asked permission already.”

“you asked permission?? From my grandparents??” he nods, “THEY ALLOWED IT??”

“hey, i’m the nishimura riki. who would say no to me.”

“umm, me?”

“hmm, are you sure.” riki leans in. you backed up.

“Y-yes.”

“you’re blushing again. some people might think you like me or something.” he teases. This was your chance, you should tell him.

“riki i-”

“nishimura riki.” heeseung says.

“yes hyung?”

“we need to leave. now.”

“hyung, wait let me just talk to (name) first.”

“they already found out about our escape. it’s now or never, boss already said we have to go.”

“I can’t leave her hyung.”

“we’ll get her in a few months.”

“Hyung please.”

“I’m sorry riki.” heeseung grabs riki’s arm and drags him away. you were left there confused and well sort of heartbroken.

> riki: i’m so sorry, we’ll see each other again. I promise

You feared that the message was just a lie and you’d never see riki ever again.

> you: can i trust you?

you typed in.

> riki: (name), please. I’ll come after you. once we’re settled in, i promise i’ll come back.

> you: okay

2 years later, you were finally 18, you were walking around in the playground that you and riki used to play in at 10 years old. You remember playing catch with him and him becoming your knight and shining armour whilst protecting you, the princess of the castle. Those were times. It’s been 2 years since riki last contacted you. It truly was a lie. You sat on the swing set. A small dog coming up to you and sniffing you.

“aww little one.” you lifted the puppy off the ground. “Are you lost? Where is your owner?” it barks and you felt someone standing in front of you. You looked at the person. Him.

“riki…”

“I told you i’d be back for you.” he says.

“It’s been 2 years and you didn’t even bother to talk to me.”

“my old phone got crushed on the mission so…i lost all contacts.”

“oh.”

“seems like bisco has found you.” you looked at the puppy.

“so your name is bisco? you are so adorable.” you gave it a small kiss. riki’s heart soars, what an adorable sight to see.

“let’s go.” riki says as he holds your hand.

“to where?”

“where i wanted to show you 2 years ago.” your heart races. both you and riki walked over to the place and once you made it there, riki clicks on a few buttons. It reveals a pretty rundown place.

“Still has the decorations that were here 2 years ago.” a secret area that was decorated nicely, a little of the plants grew a little making it a slightly overgrown.

“You did this?” he nods. You looked over to the balloons.

‘Be mine’

“riki, it’s beautiful. Thank you.” he smiles.

“thank god i didn’t buy any food 2 years ago. It would have rotted in here and it would’ve smelled of a dead body.”

“you didn’t kill anyone down here did you?”

“hey, i may be working with the other boys but i don’t kill people. That is the 02z hyungs job.”

“Oh yeah, how are they?”

“In australia, jay hyung and his girlfriend have not shut up and i can’t get any rest at night, they should really invest in soundproof walls. jungwon hyung recently moved in about a year ago with his girlfriend. The other boys have been doing their own stuff, sunoo hyung is kinda annoyed that he can’t move over just yet though. He thinks his parents are overcontrolling. Overall, all of us are adapting to the lifestyle. jake hyung was so excited to teach us all about australia when we first moved in.”

“That’s great.”

“will you come to australia with me?” riki asks.

“riki, you know i can’t.”

“what if i get your grandparent’s permission?”

“riki, they are my grandparents. what if something bad happens to them? I don’t want them to be alone.” riki nods.

“what if i buy a house for them next door and we live with them?”

“We?”

“kang (name), i’m in love with you.” riki confesses.

“You love me?”

“since 11. I never thought at the age of 10 i’d be falling for you but clearly i was wrong. I love you and want to be with you forever.”

“riki..” you noticed a little rustling behind riki. “riki, i think someone is here.” you whispered. riki turns around, pushing you behind him. The rustling stops and the person pops out but turns out..

“bisco.” riki scolds him. The puppy whimpers. he goes to pick him up. “you scared your mom, you idiot.”

“m-mom??”

“Yeah, you’re bisco’s mom from now on.”

“I didn’t agree to be your girlfriend.”

“Even if you didn’t agree…i would’ve guessed it already.” he walks towards you. “you.” he holds your hands, “like me.” he pecks your forehead. you blushed.

“so what do you say? move in with me and your grandparents to australia?”

“yes.”

-

“AND OKAYAMATHUNDER WON THE RACE!!!” the crowd cheers for him. riki takes off his helmet and ruffles his hair, waving to everyone. the boys go over to pat his back. you went over to riki and he smiles.

“great job bub.” you say. riki kisses the tip of your nose.

“thank you, couldn’t have done it without you.” you playfully rolled your eyes.

“so how much did you win?” jake nudges riki’s shoulder.

[back at home]

“2 MILLION DOLLARS??? Holy shit.” jay says, looking over at the pile of cash on the ground of the mansion.

“Hey, jay. Maybe you should work harder. You were better than this before becoming a total simp for your wife.” heeseung jokes. Jay flips him off.

“yejun unnie, you feeling good?” you asked your older sister, noticing how she was swaying a little and not able to stand properly.

“yeah, just a little sick. nothing too bad.” yejun gags. Her eyes widened.

“Oh god, jay! What did you do to my sister!” you held yejun up.

“Oooooo hyung didn’t use protection.” jungwon says. jay blushes.

“w-we did.”

“Tell that to the possible baby in yejun’s tummy!” you say.

“Oh and the fact that both me and (name) can’t sleep at night.” riki says.

“alright! I’ll bring her to our room and settle this.” jay holds yejun’s hands and brings her over to their bedroom.

“GET HER A PREGNANCY TEST!” heeseung yells. Jay groans out loud and that leaves the rest of you laughing at him.

And that was the end of yours and riki’s story but remember sarah? your best friend? well, let’s dive deeper into her story, wonder which enhypen boy will she be paired with

[kissesandcream]

a smol sibling.,

w/ xiao, kaeya, & venti

— • request from anon : being the trio’s younger sibling! (separately)

xiao p1 || kaeya p1 || gn ! sibling ! reader || headcanon format || 1.5k words

; masterlist.,

; a / n - i’ve done xiao and kaeya before, but i had some more ideas so i’m making some more! links above if you’d like to read the others <3

xiao .,

• the other hcs i made for him where general, but here anon specified a younger sibling, so i’ll do that!

• he’s that sibling who’ll pretend ur the most annoying thing on the planet but would do anything for u so much as you ask

• “xiao when u come back could i have some glaze lilies” “get them yourself im the vigilant yaksha not a flower picker🙄” mhm then why did u literally wipe out qingce village’s flower population hm xiao 🤨

• teaches u how to fight!! but he’s not teaching he’s “helping you discover things yourself so you can be a functional person”

• it takes way too much effort to get this man to admit he loves you but you know it as much as he does so it’s okay <3

• cloud retainer has so much dirt on him it’s crazy. if you ever need some blackmail material head over to hers. also you can find some embarassing pictures she’s got a heckton

• verr goldet takes care of u a lot too, xiao’s a great brother and all but he lacks in this department called self care

• idk if you’re mortal or adeptus or half adeptus but if you need to eat and do basic body functions he does not got u covered

• mans would try to raise u on almond tofu until verr goldet bought out a food pyramid and explained about these things called nutrients 

• he also doesn’t understand how important sleep is so,,, “xiao i’m gonna stay up” “yeah sure whatever” passing out two days later “y/N WHAT’S WRONG-”

• yeah verr goldet and the innkeeper guy give him a guide to basic survival talk and all through it he’s glaring at you like why did you never tell me you needed human things to live >:( 

• now that he knows you need sleep, he makes u sleep at 8 pm every night like a grandpa!! good luck trying to get him to stop!!

• are these getting too guardian-like and less sibling-like??? 😭 but that’s the vibes he gives yk!! ur over protective adeptus parent-brother who has no clue how u work but wants to try to understand a little

• in the game u can tell how much more open he gets wit the traveller as friendship levels progress, and if you’ve maxed it out he’d basically do anything for you and would want you to trouble him than yourself

• and he’ll probably be closer with you than he’ll ever be with traveller since you’re siblings and whatnot, so it would make sense that he looks out for you more than your typical older brother yk

• plays the flute for you!! if he hears u humming a tune under your breath he’ll find it and learn it to play for u 

• he may not fully understand how relationships work but he’s trying his best for u <3

 kaeya .,

• my other kaeya hcs were in relation to you being close / living with diluc, but these will be more general and central towards kaeya!

• kaeya fits literally every older brother trope that exists. the brother who’s always got ur back? you got it. the brother who keeps secrets you don’t know about from you? heck yeah. the annoying brother who makes u do his chores for him? maybe a little too much.

• pls he (lovingly) shoves all of his small tasks onto u it’s infuriating but you can’t even say no bc then he gets all dramatic 

• “y/n 😩 you’re abandonning your dear brother like this 😩 how could you 😩 i didn’t know you were so cruel 😩” sir shut up <3

• since he’s a people person everyone knows u very well too, heck all the senior citizens probably voted u as second best in law after him or smth idk man 

• hanging out with best boy bennett!! he canonically sees kaeya as an older brother too so y’all def go on little adventures together <3

• ur one of the only people who have ever looked under his eyepatch, diluc and crepus being the only other two

• sometimes he forgets to take it off when he goes to bed and it leaves a bruise bc it’s pretty tight, so he let’s you change it for him 

• “i can do this myself, you know” well he can but you both know he likes it better when you’re there

• does not allow your closet to be anything less than exquisite, you’ve got a bunch of scarfs like his whether you like it for not

• makes u buy his wine from diluc for him bc every time he goes to the tavern diluc raises the price tenfold just for him

• he’s that sibling who will rile you up on purpose just for the fun of it. i have a cousin who used to do that when he was younger and it was annoying but he still adores me sm so i don’t mind <3

• besides even if he does get on ur nerves amber’s got ur back- you can rant to her about him for hours on end and she’ll add with her experiences with kaeya’s bullying

• what are siblings if not for sibling rivalry, yes he picks on u constantly but he also picks u up when you’re feeling low <3

venti .,

• oh my gods he would be sO FUN

• the two of you are the bane of diluc’s existence, venti loops u into his winery pilfering plans a lot 

• venti pulls the archon card if the two of you get caught by him idk what excuse you’ve got but it better be good 😭

• no way the god of wind and song’s sibling doesn’t love music- even if you’re tone deaf, or hard of hearing, music is about the pleasure it brings and he’ll bring it to you

• you guys go wind gliding a lot of the time too!! y’all don’t even need gliders you’ve got the power of anemo 😎

• he’s that cool brother who’s only rule is that you do whatever you want to do, life is too short for regrets so live in the moment and be spontaneous!

• even though he’s older he seems much younger than you at heart 😭 will wine if you don’t do something for him it’s hilarious

• you’ve got other things to do and he’s just “but hanging out!!!” and ur like “but work!!!” 

• it’s very hard to be productive with him around, he will distract u with something as mundane as an apple- it’s not his fault tho bb just has a poor attention span 😭 

• he’s very clingy, if you’re together he’ll link your elbows like everyone did in sixth grade, and in turn u can kick him in the kneecaps when he does stupid things

• he’s the ceo of stupid things so u get to kick him a lot, it’s a mutal symbiotic relationship we love to see it <33

• my brain is dead and i can’t english rn but. his vibes yk he’s so fun to be around, he gives out surprisingly killer advice too

• i have this man’s teapot lines plastered on my wall bc they help me deal with stuff, so if you’re ever down you can always, always, always go to him and he’ll have the exact things to say

• if it’s words, he has them, if it’s silence you need he’ll lend you his shoulder; but there was never an instance he doesn’t leave you better than before

• you haven’t seen his archon side a lot, since he doesn’t show it all that much, but it’s so far from venti it’s a little scary; but in a sort of admiring way yk

• you guys visit zhongli sometimes, and it’s a free real estate for blackmail material bc of how terrified venti is of him

• zhongli is like that long lost uncle who visits once a year, and you’re his favorite child so he gives you candy and picks on venti for not taking good enough care of you

• “i’m their sibling not their parent” “you’re older have some responsibility >:(”

• if you ever get drunk he will hear about it and will come all the way from liyue to i will have order venti’s head, regardless of whether he was the cause of you being drunk or not

• that about wraps it up! im sure i could think of more but my brain is sorta dead rn so this will have to suffice 😭 i can’t think of a closing statement sO i hope u enjoyed!! bye bye!! <3

[codenamesazanka]

I feel like I can’t stress enough how important Spinner is to the ‘My Villain Academia’ arc, and how badly I need BONES to give him the attention and care in portraying him that he deserves. BONES have been pretty faithful to the manga, they’ve followed the story and brought each scene on the page to the screen... Except for some reason not when it comes to the Villains. Maybe it’s because arguably the Villains wasn’t the focal point of the show and they weren’t what most viewers watched the show to see; fine, but that was the case in the beginning and no longer.

Shigaraki Tomura, his exploits, his character, his story *is* the manga: the Heroes and protag react mainly to him and his actions, his past and motivations is one of the main factors that caused the current central conflict, and resolving his character arc is what will probably bring the whole series - to its end or near end. Yeah, imo I argue that everything about him moves the plot along.

Unfortunately(?), I think Horikoshi-sensei realized/decided/planned this a bit too late in his pacing. He said himself during the Stain arc or so that at first, he wasn’t planning on doing villain profiles - he wanted the villains to be scary.

But for the time being, I have no intention of writing about [the villains]. I do the introductions because l personally like those sorts of behind-the-scenes things, and also because I want my readers to feel a connection to the characters. But with villains, I decided I can't have them too likable. They're supposed to be terrifying.

Often it’s what we don’t know/understand/predict/expect (and therefore can’t get a grasp on) that makes things scary/uncomfortable/dislikable. The Villains were strange, seemingly erratic and incomprehensible in their behavior and motivations, malicious without rhyme or reason. Even now, I think a lot of people still think they’re just ‘completely evil crazy psychopaths’.

Anyways, the quote from him is from Volume 7. A whole bunch of volumes later in Vol. 23, he decided nvm: “The story has evolved beyond that point, so I'm ready to start doing villain profiles.” As he said himself, the profiles are to help the readers connect with the characters, make them relatable and likable. That’s what My Villain Academia is all about in the meta sense - to demystify Shigaraki Tomura and his ragtag chaos friends, to give them depth, and to induce interest in their stories, if not sympathy. Hype them up for the rather major roles they play in this ‘final arc’ of the series.

Enter Spinner, the lizard ninja guy.

Besides his unusual looks, Spinner is really, truly nothing special. He’s got a weak quirk, he holds no title of being the strongest or smartest or whatever member of the League, he’s not related by blood or thematically to any major players in the main conflicts, and his ‘tragic’ backstory is completely mundane compared to his allies - he was bullied as a child, and so is fueled by resentment. In the events leading up to the start of the arc, Spinner is the most moral and understandable of the Villains - has a ‘good’ reason for his crimes (eradicate corrupted Heroes), has standards on who he’s willing to fight (questions attacking the police and anyone with a ‘true heroic spirit’), and wants a concrete game plan instead of aimless discord the rest of the League seems alright with.

Once the arc starts, we immediately learn the basics of his character - he’s got a heteromorph quirk that makes his appearance a humanoid gecko and it’s something he was born with that he can’t control, and yet he faces discrimination from literal KKK-type cultists who refuse to see him as human. This was more or less his life in his small, rural hometown, harsh enough that his heart had become ‘completely empty’. It’s simple, it’s relatable and an realistic analogy anyone who has faced prejudice and harassment and been hurt by it can understand.

All this is so Spinner ends up being the most normal and typical sympathetic of the League of Villains, which sets him up to be a sort of ‘gateway Villain’. It’s why he’s narrator. He doesn’t understand at all the crazy All For One shenanigans, he’s thinks Shigaraki is an incompetent weirdo, and he asks what we were all thinking: “Shigaraki Tomura, what the fuck are you doing.” Quite obviously, Spinner’s meant the audience surrogate and so he is. That being a core of the way the story of My Villain Academia is told means it needs be followed by the anime adaption.

This core sets up the rest of the arc - sets up how we will come to view Shigaraki Tomura and his backstory, alongside the rest of the League Villains, their relationships and dynamics with each other, and who they are at heart. Shigaraki’s telling of his distorted origins in Chapter 222 is horrifying as it is already; but it’s Spinner’s worried-facial-expressions reactions littered throughout the chapter that adds to it by telling us one major thing: Spinner’s an empathetic guy, because he immediately feels a kindred spirit with Shigaraki when the latter talks about the hollowness he feels. So begins the audience surrogate’s change of opinion and us readers going along with it, and also: that Shigaraki Tomura now has Spinner’s concern and attention - and is deserving of it.

Pardon the sudden heavily edited quote, but CS Lewis says,

Friendship arises...when two or more of the companions discover that they have in common...which, till that moment, each believed to be his own unique [burden]. The typical expression of opening Friendship would be something like, "What? You too? I thought I was the only one." ...And instantly they stand together in an immense solitude.

That’s almost word for word Spinner in that moment, suddenly realizing he’s no longer as alone as he thought. He’s no longer as alone, and this means perhaps neither should Shigaraki. Because established in that very chapter, too, is the hate in Shigaraki’s heart fueled by his grief and despair, the loss of his family, past, and faith in others, his misery of thinking he’ll never feel good again. Yet - there’s Spinner, willing to extend some empathy and care, the very antidote to all that Shigaraki had revealed. Because the desire for companionship (or at least the lessening of the pain of loneliness) is universal, even among villains - maybe especially among these villains - we probably love to see it. Want to see it.

On that basis - friendship borne out of empathy - Spinner puts his faith his leader, puts his trust and support, and the rest of the arc is us following the tension of whether he was right to do so. Whether Shigaraki would live up to what Spinner expects of him, whether Spinner will side with Shigaraki despite their earlier conflict. Whether they could become friends, or something like that. And once they do, the consequences of this as things spiral more and more out of control, beyond this arc - that Spinner would know Shigaraki well enough to do something crucial at the turn of a battle later, that Spinner would stick by Shigaraki’s side when he’s in danger, that Spinner is loyal enough to Shigaraki to help him as a friend should.

Through Spinner, we come to see Shigaraki, originally incomprehensible and terrifying, as someone beyond a Villain or a leader, but rather someone valued as a person, a friend, a fellow silly gamer nerd. He’s still scary, of course - just less so, with a seed of doubt of his doom that Spinner - and only Spinner, by virtue of his specific narrative and emotional role in this arc - planted in their characters and the story.

It’s because of Spinner that MVA works, by itself, and as a stepping stone towards the rest of the series. So he really needs to be everything he is, was, and more in the anime adaption please BONES oh my god please

[thefanficmonster]

Falling Faceless

@itsminniekat

Corpse Husband x Reader (female) 

Warnings: None

Genre: Fluff

Summary: Some crushes don’t need anything visual to exist. Appearance is irrelevant when you know the true beauty of a soul and mind. Or basically, Reader and Corpse could not care less what the other looks like.

Requested: No

Y/N and Corpse have been friends ever since they began playing Among Us together. They were the ultimate power duo when imposters together, and each other’s angel guardians when both were crewmates. They had a silent pact to not kill the other if they were imposter and the other wasn’t. They promised not to snitch on each other. They had built a pretty steady system of a friendship.

But, as the whole lobby assumed, that friendship would only last a ‘just friendship’ for so long. The sarcastic comments progressively grew more flirtatious. Corpse got a lot more comfortable playing with people in the meantime, but it was obvious that he was a bit more tense whenever Y/N wasn’t there, which rarely happened. On Y/N’s part, the change was also apparent. She used to have to be begged to play Among Us. She didn’t understand the hype of the game, seeing as how the concept was old and just remade and redesigned. Now, after meeting Corpse, she began being the first in the lobby, often initiating the game herself, almost forgetting to invite anyone but Corpse in the process.

The Peanut Gallery, aka the rest of the players just stood aside and listened to the romantic comedy unfold in front of them. They had a title for it too: “Falling Faceless”. The term was formed after a lot of discussion in a discord call which Y/N and Corpse were not invited to.

Explanation: Falling Faceless - Falling in love with someone whose face you’ve never seen, therefore they’re faceless to you.

That’s one of the things her and Corpse had in common. They were both faceless to their audience. Y/N was a gamer and also helped out Jaiden, James and Adam with their animations every now and then. She covered songs and made remixes of existing tunes - all things she never had to reveal her face for.

Corpse was attracted almost immediately - like a moth to light. The faceless rep, the cool song remixes, sweet and kind personality, intelligence, positivity...he could go on. He never denied his feelings in front of himself but he was prepared to deny it to his grave in front of anyone else.

Y/N was different. Her attraction grew gradually. From the tiny details he remembered about her and brought up, to the jokes that never failed to make her laugh, she was just so whipped by him without even noticing. When the realization began to creep in, she was low-key terrified. She actually avoided playing Among Us for two full days just because she thought it would make her emotions cool down.

While he was ready to embrace his feelings, she was doing everything she could to push them away.

She threw herself into work, surprising her animators by finishing her animation parts far before the deadlines. Dropping a few covers a week and playing Among Us as little as she could without drawing any suspicion.

One day, in the middle of editing the footage of her playthrough of the game Neversong, her phone started blowing up with notifications. She had a strict ‘no texting while working’ rule, so she ignored it, turning the device on its screen and pushing it further than an arm’s reach away in case she got tempted.

She was doing a fairly good job blocking out the hurricane of notifications when her ringtone sliced through the bubble of focus she had built around herself. She straightened and reached for her phone, promising herself she wouldn’t take longer than necessary. 

That promise was thrown out the window the second she read the called ID. Corpse, written down as Lil Corpsy in her contacts, was calling.

“Have you watched the video yet?” he asked without even greeting her

Baffled, it took her about three seconds to reply, “What video?”

“So you haven’t.” He sighed, “My face reveal. Go watch it.”

The line went dead before she could even completely comprehend what he had said. Work all but forgotten, her finger tips hovered above the screen, hesitant about tapping the YouTube icon.

This isn’t right, Y/N. She told herself.

“Hey?” He picked up her call-back before the first ring was even over.   

“I still haven’t watched the video. But that can wait.“ She fussed, now up from her chair, pacing around her office. “I’m calling to tell you the most terrifying thing that has happened to me. I made a friend. He’s great. The most amazing human being ever. We make a great team. I love him. It took me a while to realize that I love love him. And it’s scary, cause it feels like I’m walking on thin ice of losing him if he finds out. Well, now he’s letting me on to what he looks like, I might as well let him on what my mess of a brain looks like. And now that I’ve done that, I also wanna mention that I’ve changed my mind. I’m not gonna watch the video. It will change nothing but his view count. I will still like him the same. So why bother watching him talk to a camera when I can listen to him talking to me, right?“ She breathed heavily and shakily, sinking to the floor despite having her chair to sit in. She was distressed and felt like the equivalent of a deflated balloon. But compared to the feeling of a balloon ready to explode, she was feeling great. “That was probably too fast to understand, but I’m not repeating it.”

The chuckle that reached her made her even more flustered, “There is no video, Y/N. I just needed you to go to my channel. But, I too have changed my mind.”

He hung up a second time, leaving her with mixed emotions. The uncertainty of weather she was just rejected or her feelings were being humored was killing her, bringing her to a brink of tearing up. Just as the first tear slid down her cheek, her phone rang. However, this time, the ringtone was different. It was a Facetime. From him.

Without realizing that this wasn’t going to be only his face reveal, but hers too, she picked up.

Suddenly, they were no longer falling faceless. They were just falling. Falling in each other’s eyes. Falling in love. Not all over again, but deeper. Deeper into the emotions that left them with no sleep. The emotions they both dealt so differently with.

“You were wrong, this will change something.” He spoke, “The girl in my dreams, the one I’ve been in love with since day one, is now not only a voice in my head. She’s real.”

“You’re real, too.” She chuckled, looking at the face she never thought she’d see. “This is real, isn’t it?”

“It’s always been real, Y/N. We just now have faces.” He laughed.

For the first time she not only heard, but saw the laugh, finding it as adorable as day one. 

[alicanta77]

NCT Dream Reaction: Dating Yuta’s younger sister

Mark:

right

it’s no secret that yuta loves mark

like LOVES mark

butttttttt

he is also very protective of you

i mean, you are his baby sister

so mark is absolutely terrified to tell yuta

literally waits for as long as he can until you force him to come clean

as soon as he finds out yuta just goes as intimidating as possible

and literally stars mark down with a death glare

eventually you calm him down although mark is now scared for his life

“i’m gonna be killed in my sleep”

so mark immediately tries to show yuta just how much he loves you

and once yuta sees that, mark begins to relax around him again

these two aren’t gonna sit down and talk about it, rather have a mutual agreement to keep their friendship and your relationship separate

yuta literally brings you everywhere with 127 and if fans ask, you just came to see your brother

but in reality he lets you spend the whole time with mark

honestly, considering how busy mark is, yuta doing this is probably the reason that the two of you made it through some rough patches

mark feels a bit awkward talking about your relationship with yuta but is still eternally grateful that yuta helps you two so much

realises that yuta cares about you both and will do literally anything for you to be happy

Renjun:

doesn’t want you to know how nervous he is for it

is definitely one to tell him earlier rather than later

but waits until it’s serious like he doesn’t tell him after the first date

yuta was coming to see you and you both agreed to tell him when he did

but the poor boy chickened out and literally hid under your kitchen table

so yuta was pretty confused as to why you had a crouching renjun

but it broke the ice quickly and forced you to tell him what was going on

after finding out yuta was just silent

like didn’t say a word for a while and you were getting nervous and slightly worried too

eventually you you just ask him if he’s doing okay

“yuta, you alright?”

*deep sigh* “...yes...”

“you sure about that?”

“...yes... i mean it could be worse”

renjun is only a little offended by that

it takes yuta a minute but after he watches the two of you together he sees just how perfect and happy you are

and realises that if renjun makes you happy, then yuta is happy with that

and will do anything to make sure that you keep that smile on your face

Jeno:

ok

he deadass gets away with it for a surprisingly long time

like you two were GOOD at hiding it

the dream members knew but it took mark accidentally letting it slip and hyuck not being there to cover up his mistake for yuta to find out

immediately makes his way over to the dream dorm even tho it was like 11pm

and bursts through the door to find you there with jeno

sits the two of you down and demands an explanation

so you explain everything to him and he literally just nods as goes “ok”

yuta probably could not care less that you were dating jeno

you were both completely surprised by that

he was just upset that you didn’t tell him

he knows you were nervous cause he’s protective over the people he loves

but he cares about you and wants to know what’s going on in your life

falls in love with your relationship pretty quickly

just really enjoys seeing you so happy around jeno

probably requests to do some schedule with dream so that he can bring you with him

just organises so many ways for you to see jeno or brings jeno to the 127 dorms etc.

basically, you realise that you should have told him much earlier cause he literally does all he can to help the two of you

Hyuck:

yeah yuta figures it out wayyyyy before hyuck wanted to tell him

hyuck was trying to get on his good side by doing impromptu nice things

so yuta was obviously suspicious, i mean this is donghyuck

but when hyuck didn’t tease him after a mistake that he knew something was up

it only clicked the next time yuta brought you up in conversation

hyuck perking up at the mention of your name and smiling gave it away

initially yuta wanted to kill him until he realised that this could be fun

he knew hyuck and knew that he loves deep and wouldn’t hurt you

but you’re still his lil sister and hyuck’s gotta go through initiation

says he doesn’t want you dating and watches as hyuck just tenses

then mentions that you’re visiting and watches as hyuck starts to sweat

then says “I’m sure you’re happy to see your gf again hyuck right?”

and watches as the poor boy just malfunctions

clears the rest of 127 out to talk to him

they come to an understanding and hyuck gets yuta’s blessing

but forget to tell you this so you get one hell of a surprise when you arrive

yuta uses the fact that you’re his sister to let you see hyuck all the time

the two of them definitely gang up on you good luck

but at the end of the day they both love you so much and would do anything for you

Jaemin:

ahhhhh the na brothers

is probably the only one to actually sit down with yuta and talk about your relationship with him

like explains how much he loves you and that it would mean a lot to him if yuta approved of the two of you

gives a long and emotional speech about his love for you

yuta teared up slightly but they both agreed it was the wind

and by the end of the day, you had his blessing

also probably did this before even asking you out

yuta is so protective over your relationship

refuses to let anyone talk bad about the two of you

has definitely got in trouble with SM for sneaking you in to the dorms or sneaking jaemin out

but he does NOT CARE

he will literally do anything for you so suck it SM

yuta probably defends the two of you a lot more than you know

like casually starts to slip into vlives how idols should be allowed to date

or other things like that

he is always looking out for the two of you

so you basically have a guardian angel looking over your relationship

Chenle:

yeah he wants to keep it to himself

but he gets excited that he’s dating someone as amazing as you and it reaches yuta pretty quickly

yuta has pretty mixed reactions to this news

like goes from shocked to confused to angry to happy to dread to protectiveness to a terrifying mixture of them all

appears in your place as soon as he hears

literally just appears, you turn around and he’s suddenly there

“WHAT IS GOING ON?!!?!?!” *literally shaking and almost shouting*

“oh... hi bro...whats up?” *you speaking in tiny*

brings chenle to you immediately and you two explain

“we’re dating...”

“WHY?”

“cause he makes me happy...”

“oh... okay then...” *calming down slightly*

you both take this time to assure him that you really like each other and you don’t want this relationship to end

when he hears that you thought he might force it to end he goes full protective again

and makes sure you know that he will never do that

instead he literally becomes so protective over your relationship

literally SM once tried to call you in to talk about it and yuta went NUTS

he’s so damn protective and would do anything to keep you both safe

Jisung:

FEAR

like literally nothing more

just FEAR

he thought debuting or facing saesangs was scary

but that was NOTHING compared to the fear he is feeling

hyuck was also not helping him at all

he probably knew how nervous sung was and kept telling stories about how protective yuta was and how he was constantly threatening to kill anyone who touched his baby sister

sung is literally almost shaking poor chick

jaemin literally slapped hyuck on the head to get him to stop

when it comes to telling him

yuta literally takes one look at the terrified boy and probably thinks teasing would be mean

but he does it anyway

not for long tho cause sung is in a state and a half

so yuta quickly gives his permission

as loving as yuta can be he’s also a little too invested in your love life

so you both keep your relationship as PRIVATE as you can

so yuta finds everything out from hyuck who snitches on you

yuta just cares a lot about you and wants you to be happy

once he’s satisfied that jisung makes you happy, he backs off and only appears to fight off management for you two

[chained-to-the-mirror]

Time to ramble a bit! I am still battling my pirate induced insomnia... and yesterday my nurse suggested to me that I should try to write out my thoughts more. So, I’m putting this under a cut so as to not subject you all to unwanted musings 😆 A lot of it is about - yep, you guessed it - Ed.

I am so obsessed with how Ed wants to please people. He wants to be whatever the other person wants him to be - and it backfires constantly because he has multiple people he is interacting with. He has Stede, Stede’s crew, Izzy, Calico Jack... they all want a different Ed! I think in We Gull Way Back, it sort of becomes the most apparent that he can’t juggle it all. He tries, but the expectations are so different from each other. And of course there is the problem of “who am I really” that he hasn’t solved yet. God, I can’t wait for him to finally learn about himself... And it will be so interesting to see Edward. 

But anyway, pleasing people and giving them what they want. Oh boy do I relate! It’s so painful to watch. And another difficult thing is that up to a point, he is rewarded for his behaviour. He is well loved - I was just talking with a friend about this. He is the dreaded Blackbeard, but really, everyone he interacts with loves him? How is that scary? He has such charisma, though of course he can be terrifying too if he so chooses. 

In a way, I’m not surprised that he hasn’t really tried to get to know himself until now. Why would he? It’s a messy business, and there’s a big chance that he won’t like himself in the end. And what’s worse - OTHERS may not like him. He fears this, especially when it comes to Stede. And of course the worst happens, and Stede leaves him. He has no way of knowing what the real reason is... Now I’m thinking of that post that shows Ed as someone who gives up instantly as soon as there’s a setback. It’s so true, and so relatable. I want to hug him and gently encourage him forward! He needs real friends, who would carefully push him forward in those moments. Stede was sort of like that, and Lucius is definitely like that. (I see such potential for their friendship, because Lucius is ALIVE and I won’t hear anything different.) As things are now, he has no one. 

This is a true ramble. I’m just writing out loud, I guess.

I watched We Gull Way Back last night and it really is the hardest episode for me, in many ways. (Even harder than Wherever You Go... which is saying a lot!) Part of it is Jack’s bully behavior, which does trigger me a bit, but also the discomfort of both Ed and Stede. I relate to them both in different ways, so it’s sort of double pain. Damn this show, making me feel feelings! I have not really accessed my bullying memories very much in a long time now, but this is bringing it back to the surface (among other things...) No wonder I’m sleeping so poorly. It’s sort of an abuse trauma, I guess? Not the same as what Ed has, but still a trauma. I guess adapting to your company and being a people pleaser is second nature to people with a history of abuse. I haven’t really thought about that until now, not when it comes to myself. I was bullied for years and years, not just on occasion but pretty much constantly. I guess it leaves a mark, even though it was never really physical. 

I should talk about this with my nurse next week. I have not talked about these things in years. Maybe it’s time to do that now - maybe enough time has passed and I’m able to distance myself from it? I don’t know.

This got long! I wonder if anyone read up to this point 😅 Thank you if you did. I feel a bit like Ed after his song in Wherever You Go... laid bare in a way. But this is Tumblr - it’s all about yelling into the void here 😆 So I think I’m safe.

[taeyongdoyoung]

summary: you have a crush on college student renjun so you make use of your best lamest flirting attempts and surprisingly they work?!

pairing: renjun x gn!reader

genre: college!au, romance, pure fluff

warnings: very lame jokes, mentions of a cruel prank in the past (someone asking out renjun as a joke, pls never do that to people!), lots of awkwardness & sweetness, a bit of swearing, reader has an obsession with renjun’s pretty hands

word count: 4.7k

It had been a while since you had a crush so strong you even had a hard time focusing in class. Usually, you were a very good student, diligently taking notes and participating when the professor asked questions. But that was until you saw Renjun for the first time. 

It was like something possessed you and suddenly you couldn't think about anything else but his pretty, gentle face, his angelic voice and his lovely hands always drawing something in his notebook. It certainly didn't help much that you were seated right next to him during your shared lectures. It most certainly didn't help that you forgot all your vocabulary when you were in his immediate vicinity. Usually, your teachers and friends described you as well-spoken and eloquent, always knowing the right thing to say. 

But that was, of course, until Renjun. All words disappeared from your poor brain whenever he was around. And it's not like you didn't want to talk to him, get to know him better. But you physically couldn't bring yourself to form a coherent sentence. You kept telling yourself it was just a silly crush and it would pass in time. But the more time passed, the stronger you felt the need to do something about your feelings. Naturally, you couldn't speak, but there was still something you could do. Something you probably did best. Write.

So one day, after what felt like an eternity of yearning, you finally gathered the courage to act on your emotions. Taking a small sheet of paper out of your notebook, you wrote a little something. It was probably super lame but apparently, even your writing skills were affected by your crush on him. As soon as your "masterpiece" was done, you slid it towards Renjun before you could chicken out and change your mind about this whole thing. The note had the following text:

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your drawings are almost As pretty as you. P.S. Key word: almost ;)

The second he spotted the little note which was folded in a hurry, he opened it curiously. Once he read its insides, you could hear him snort under his breath. Was it that bad? You couldn't help but worry. Then, he took his own pen and started writing something under it. That was a good sign, right? You were feeling hopeful. Once he was done, he slid the paper towards you. You opened it in a rush. His response was:

Hey! Are you bullying my art?!?

You looked at him in confusion. How could he have possibly misunderstood? However, he was too focused on multitasking (drawing most of the time and occasionally taking notes based on the lecture) to spot your reaction. You decided you had no choice but to be as explicit as possible and wrote another note:

Nooo, I meant to compliment both you and your art, sorry if it came off wrong and lame :(

When he received it, you could swear you saw him smiling a little, which made your heart melt. How was he so beautiful? Soon enough, his reply came:

That's alright, I'm just teasing...Also, it worked.

You couldn't believe it. It worked? You'd successfully grabbed his attention by using this first-grade flirting method in college? You were suddenly feeling brave and kept writing. It was too late to turn back time.

I just think you're really pretty and cool especially when you draw but I was too hesitant to talk to you directly...

When he read your most recent note, he even gave you a look of disbelief, which you couldn't interpret until you saw his response:

Cool? Wow, that's a first...And it's ok, I don't bite.

You chuckled quietly and suddenly noticed that class was ending soon. You couldn't wait until tomorrow so you hurriedly wrote the content of your next note:

What do I have to do to get your number?

Renjun shook his head in amusement and this time, his reply came quicker than before:

*number enclosed* Here, that wasn't so hard, was it?

You could hear the lecturer saying his words of conclusion and you hurried to respond via another note, because you couldn't trust your voice to actually speak to Renjun. Not yet, at least. So, you wrote:

Thank you!!! Here is mine: *number enclosed*

And just as he received your final note, the students around you started gathering their things. You simply looked at Renjun and you still couldn't believe he'd actually replied to your silly flirting and even gave you his number! You waved him goodbye like a lovesick fool and practically ran outside of the lecture hall. Stage fright whomst? Try having a crush on the prettiest boy in the world.

After you went back home, you debated calling Renjun. Eventually, you talked yourself out of it. What if you said something stupid and embarrassing? With texting, you could at least have more time to think things through before sending them. Actually speaking to him seemed too terrifying a task to accomplish. So, you texted him excitedly and your heart did a back-flip when he replied. Was it strange that you already missed him, even though it had only been a couple of hours since you last saw him? Naturally, you couldn't tell him that, it would probably freak him out. So, you settled for texting (for the time being).

Renjun: Why did you run away after class?

You: I was too nervous to speak to you, I'm sorry!!!

Renjun: That's strange, I see you talking to your friends all the time...Am I so scary?!?

You: Nooo, you're not scary, I'm just being an idiot 😔

Renjun: Top of the class does not equal idiot but I'll let it slide this time

You: Thank you for your generosity!

Renjun: What are you up to?

You: Probably gonna work on that assignment for next week

You: Sorry, I'm so boring 😔

Renjun: First of all, you don't have to apologize so much, you did nothing wrong

Renjun: Second of all, saaame. We can brainstorm together if you want?

You: Sorry, I'll stop. Oops, I did it again. Pretend you didn't see it.

You: Also omg, yes pls, that would be great!

And that is how your friendship with Renjun started. Texting on your phones and exchanging notes during class lasted a week until you finally decided to ask him out. Again, via text, because you were feeling too shy to speak to him. The only other contact you'd had was waving at each other. And it's not like he spoke to you, either. There were two explanations for that: 1) he chose to respect your decision or 2) he was possibly just as shy as you were. Whatever the reason, you thought this could not go on forever so you managed to find the bravery to propose a date.

You: Do you wanna go out with me? 👉🥺👈 

Renjun: Sure, where do you wanna go?

You: Oh, wow, I didn't think I'd get this far lol

You: Where do YOU wanna go?

Renjun: Hmm, there's this new art gallery I've been meaning to visit...if that's okay with you

You: Anything is good with me as long as I get to see your pretty face

Renjun: What

You: I said you're pretty

Renjun: Shut up, oh my God...

You: Do you want me to stop?

Renjun: Say that again

You: You're pretty

Renjun: 😳😳😳

Renjun: I can't wait to see you again

You: Same here

Once you got to the front of the art gallery, it struck you how strange it was that you would speak to Renjun for the first time ever. You mentally braced yourself as you awaited his arrival anxiously. Your nails were digging into the inside of your hands and you were terrified you'd pierce holes through your own skin. You told yourself this was silly, you had no reason to be so nervous. Renjun was a total sweetheart and he obviously liked talking...well, writing to you. You needn't worry that much, you kept repeating in your mind. You were too busy hyping yourself up to notice him approaching behind you. Too busy to be prepared for what came next.

"Hiii," Renjun greeted you with a surprise back hug.

"Oh dear," you jumped in shock as you turned around.

"Did I scare you, angel?"

Shit. Already with the pet names? How were you supposed to survive?

"No, it's fine," you waved him off, trying to play it cool. "Isn't it weird this is the first time we're actually speaking to each other?"

"Um...kinda," Renjun scratched the back of his head. "But I like it, it's what makes this so special."

"Wow, you sure do have a way with words," you chuckled.

"Shall we go inside?" he suggested.

"Yes, please."

As you looked around the art gallery, you kept pointing excitedly at the paintings, while Renjun was quietly evaluating them and telling you interesting stories about the artists. You couldn't help but be amazed by how attractive he was as he exhibited his knowledge. And of course, you couldn't help but wonder at how he was so much more beautiful than all the art you've ever seen. Naturally, you wouldn't tell him that. First of all, because it was too lame to speak aloud. Second of all, because your voice would undoubtedly betray you and crack or something even more embarrassing. As time passed, you were surprised at how easy it was to talk to him, despite your previous concerns. Renjun was very polite and soft-mannered and he made you feel comfortable, while the two of you looked at the paintings and discussed them. Once you'd seen everything, you were starting to feel a bit bummed out that your lovely date was coming to an end. When you were outside the art gallery, you impulsively asked:

"Can I walk you home?"

"I mean...sure. On one condition."

"Anything."

"I get to walk you home next time."

"There'll be a next time?" you whispered hopefully.

"I hope I don't sound presumptuous if I share my observation we both had a wonderful time."

"That's perfectly alright. Your observation is correct," you admitted.

"I live just around the corner, though. You really don't have to-"

"But I want to."

"So do I," Renjun said and the two of you began walking towards his home.

"I was wondering about something...You already know I didn't speak to you because I was feeling shy, but why didn't you? I have two theories, but I'm curious which one is more on point."

"Do tell and I'll try my best to enlighten you," he joked.

"Okay, so theory number one is you were being respectful of my wish not to talk yet. Theory number two is that you're just as shy as I am."

Renjun laughed and you could swear this was the sweetest sound in the entire universe.

"Am I so transparent? Honestly, it's a little bit of both. But there's another part you didn't guess. But it's too embarrassing."

"Come on, tell meee! It can't be more embarrassing than my lame attempts to flirt with you."

Renjun smiled gently.

"Well, to be honest, I couldn't believe you thought I was cool and pretty...I even feared this was some sort of prank. It wouldn't be the first time someone decided to mess with me like that."

"Renjun, are you serious? I don't understand why anyone would...Scratch that, whoever messed with you didn't deserve even a fraction of your attention. I meant every word I said. I really like you...and your paintings. And I'm sorry I couldn't say it aloud earlier. You genuinely deserve to hear nice things more."

"Thank you. I appreciate it," he blinked cutely. "But enough about me. I never told you...how beautiful you are. How kind and smart."

"I know," you waved him off teasingly. "But coming from you, this means a lot."

Renjun shook his head, amused by your words.

"We should go somewhere you like next time. Maybe a bookshop?" he suggested.

"Am I so transparent?" you repeated his words. "But sure, yeah. That sounds nice."

"Well, this is me," he said, pointing towards his home.

"Already? Aw, time sure flies by when you're having fun."

"I'll see you tomorrow in class, right?"

"Of course," you promised and before you could talk yourself out of it, gave him a quick but heartfelt hug. "Bye, Renjun."

"Bye, angel."

After your first date with Renjun, things were going quite smoothly. You finally got over your nervousness when it came to talking to him and the two of you would occasionally whisper things to each other during class. The first time he held your hand under the desk your cheeks filled with colour. Despite your embarrassment, you held his hand right back and granted him with a grateful smile. After that, holding hands in class (whenever you weren't busy taking notes) became like second nature to you two. It just felt so sweet and comfortable to be close to him. You couldn't wait till the next weekend for your second date. Even though you were just going to a bookshop and had nothing that special planned out, you enjoyed being around him so much that you were more than excited for spending time with him one-on-one. No professors or other students to distract you.

When the day finally arrived, you were surprised to find out your anxious self had made a comeback. Even though you were around him everyday and had grown accustomed to holding a conversation, it had been an entire week since your first date when it was just the two of you and you couldn't help but get cold feet as you were waiting in front of the bookshop. This time Renjun didn't surprise you from behind, you could see him approaching from a distance. Mentally bracing yourself for his inevitable arrival, you knew you'd be an awkward mess no matter how hard you tried.

"Hey, angel," he greeted you with the usual hug.

"It's nice to see you again, Renjun," you replied dumbly, briefly melting into his arms.

"You saw me yesterday, remember?" he teased you.

"Um, yeah, but still," you chuckled.

"Is everything okay? You don't seem like yourself," Renjun immediately noticed the change in your behaviour.

"Why wouldn't it be? Everything's peachy," you lied, but he didn't seem to believe you.

"Be honest with me, please," Renjun asked. You suddenly remembered what he'd confided in you during your first date. It was no wonder he had a hard time trusting you after someone in his past had had the nerve to pull such a cruel prank on a soul as sweet as his. You felt guilty for lying rightaway and began explaining yourself.

"I'm sorry, I'm just nervous. I don't want to fuck anything up. Like I just did by lying and swearing. Fuck. I did it again, didn't I? I'll shut up now," you were rambling anxiously.

"Relax, Y/N, I totally get it. I was just worried maybe you didn't want to be here...with me."

"What? Nonsense. There's nowhere else I'd rather be. No one else I'd rather be with."

"Well, the feeling's mutual so there's no need for concern. Let's look at those books, yeah?"

"Yeah, sounds good, Renjun."

As the two of you went inside and started exploring the hundreds of shelves together, you felt yourself relaxing a little. Being surrounded by so many familiar titles, so many gorgeous covers was comforting. And as you kept showing Renjun some of your favourite books and telling him about your most beloved characters, he realized you were back to your usual self in no time. Attentively listening and occasionally sharing his opinions on certain authors, you didn't notice how quickly time passed by and how much you had enjoyed yourself and each other's company. Once you had looked through the bookshop in its entirety, you felt like it was too early to put an end to your date, but you didn't want to come off as too clingy or something. So, you simply looked at Renjun, expecting him to say what he wanted to do next.

"I promised you I'll walk you home this time, didn't I?" he smoothly said.

"I believe you did," you giggled. It was so sweet of him to remember such a detail.

"I'm a man of my word so lead the way," Renjun replied, offering you his arm.

"It will be my pleasure," you eagerly took his arm and the two of you began walking. You were deliberately moving at a slow place, simply because you didn't want this to end and felt like prolonging the time around him.

"Your hands are so pretty," you blurted out at one point.

"You like my hands, huh?" Renjun smirked.

"Did I say that out loud?" you were undoubtedly blushing really hard.

"I'm afraid so."

You felt completely mortified as you covered your face with your own hands.

"Hey, hey, it's fine. You can tell me anything. Chances are I'll take it as a compliment."

"Really?" you sneaked a peak. "You don't think I'm weird?"

"Maybe a little bit, but it's one of the things I like about you."

"One?" you blinked curiously.

"You're really fun to be around and you've been nothing but sweet to me. And of course, you're stunning, but that goes without saying."

"Without saying? I don't mind hearing it, though."

"I'll have that in mind," Renjun smiled gently.

"Renjun?"

"Yes?"

"Can you hold my hand?" you almost begged.

"I don't know, can I?" he tormented you with a joke.

"Will you hold my hand?" you corrected yourself.

"All you had to do was ask," Renjun acquiesced and intertwined your fingers.

Walking hand in hand, you eventually reached your place. As you two stared at one another, you refusing to go inside, him refusing to go, both of you refusing to let go of the other's hand, you thought to yourself how badly you wanted to kiss him. You had no idea if it was too early for that but you knew that the longer you tried to postpone it, the more you'd crave him. And you were an impatient person. So you quickly kissed him without thinking much. It was a bit awkward and rushed but at least, you had finally done as you wanted. Renjun looked taken aback and blinked at you a couple of times.

"I'm sorry," you apologized again. "I just..."

He silenced you softly with another kiss, this time more slowly and putting your mind and heart at ease. You lost yourself in the feeling of his plush lips against yours, finally letting go of his hand so that you could wrap yours around his neck. Hesitant at first but growing bolder by the second, you could sense Renjun's tongue testing the waters. You slightly parted your lips, letting him in. As the kiss intensified, you could feel him becoming more eager to touch you, his arms wrapped around your lower back. When you were seconds away from losing your breath, you finally broke the kiss. Opening your eyes to look at him, you couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief. He'd kissed you back.

"I thought I told you to stop apologizing so much. Especially, when you haven't done anything wrong," Renjun scolded you politely.

You opened your mouth to argue, but when you realized your immediate response would have been another 'I'm sorry', you closed it. A second later, you came up with a different reply.

"I guess you'll have to discipline me, then," you huffed in a challenge.

"Dumbass," Renjun flicked your forehead.

"Hey!" you complained with a pout. "That hurts."

"What do you want me to do? Kiss it better?" Renjun gave an unamused look.

"That doesn't sound like such a bad idea," you mumbled, not expecting him to actually...kiss your forehead. But he did. And damn your knees for threatening to give out.

"Feel better yet?"

You nodded enthusiastically.

"Get inside already," Renjun tickled your sides, nudging you in the direction of your door.

"You want to get rid of me so badly?"

"No, but we can stand here forever if you don't," he rolled his eyes.

"Do you want me to invite you in?"

"Don't tempt me and go," he was impossible to sway.

"Okay, okay," you relented. "See you tomorrow, Renjun!"

For your third date Renjun suggested something different. While your first and second date had all taken place in public locations, this time he offered going to his place. And maybe the shock on your face was too obvious, because Renjun was quick to keep talking and almost take it back.

"We don't have to if you don't want to! We can just watch something at the cinema or whatever. Forget I mentioned it if you're uncomfortable."

You quickly shook your head.

"No, no, I do want to come over! I was just...not expecting it."

"Yeah? You sure?"

"A hundred per cent," you nodded excitedly.

"Sorry to break it to you, but I'm at two hundred per cent," Renjun teased.

"It's not a competition," you reminded him.

"It's not if I'm winning," he kept playing around.

You rolled your eyes.

"So what are we watching?" you asked.

"You can't go wrong with Harry Potter, am I right?"

"You are so right," you squealed. "Which house are you in?"

"Don't get me started. Sometimes I get Ravenclaw, sometimes Slytherin, it's a mess."

"That's pretty cool, though," you were practically staring at him with heart eyes at this point.

"You're a Hufflepuff, aren't you?"

"Am I so transparent?" you complained, this line becoming something of a running gag between the two of you.

"Cute," he mumbled under his breath and you blushed, not managing to maintain eye contact.

When the time arrived for you to go to Renjun's place, you were more excited rather than nervous. He was so easy to talk to and you were genuinely making so many wonderful memories that you had made it your mission to not waste any second worrying needlessly.

"I have arrived," you announced the obvious as you stood at his door.

"I can see that," Renjun chuckled. "Come on in."

"I wasn't sure if I should bring something so I bought some pizza on the way. It's still hot, so I hope you're hungry," you said as you followed him inside like a puppy.

"Oh, that's very thoughtful. And I always have enough space left for pizza."

You grinned and the minute you put the box on the table and your arms were free, you wrapped them around Renjun in a hug.

"You're so warm," you murmured against his skin.

He kissed the top of your head swiftly. Soon after, the two of you were too busy re-watching Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, eating pizza and holding hands to talk much. Once the movie was over, you realized how badly you didn't want to go home and how cozy leaning your head on Renjun's shoulder felt. And how much you liked him and couldn't stop thinking about his hands, his smile and his overall existence.

"Do you want to go home already?" Renjun asked the dreaded question.

"I mean, not really, but I don't wanna impose myself on you," you whispered.

"Don't be so formal," Renjun replied. "Just stay a little longer."

"Yayyy!" you were quite overjoyed and kissed his cheek. "What do you want to do?"

"Hm, I don't know. I could give you a tour around the place."

"Sure, that sounds fun," you immediately agreed.

"Don't get your hopes up, it's just a regular college guy's apartment."

"I'm sure I'll be amazed by every little detail."

"Even my socks?"

"Especially your socks," you joked.

As he showed you around his apartment, you couldn't help but be amazed by how Renjun-like everything was. From the snug kitchen to his art supplies scattered around. Every corner made the atmosphere feel extremely homey. Until you saw something that you hadn't expected, something that hadn't come up in conversation before. A stunning grand piano. You looked at the instrument and then at Renjun and finally, back at the piano.

"Do you play?"

"No, I just keep things like that as an accessory," he responded sarcastically. "Of course, I play."

"Can you...no, wait," you stopped yourself before making a similar mistake to the one you made a while ago. "Will you play something for me?"

"Right now?"

"If it's not too much trouble," you gave him the very best pleading look you were capable of.

Renjun sighed reluctantly and sat down on the bench in front of the piano.

"Don't just stand there awkwardly, sit next to me," he urged you courteously. 

You followed his advice and took the free spot. However, nothing could have possibly prepared you for witnessing Renjun's skills up-close. Watching him play was like magic. You were simply in awe and couldn't help but stare at his pretty fingers hitting the keys in just the right ways. When he was finished performing the piece, you were too frozen to do anything. Couldn't even manage to clap, even though he deserved it so much. But you were too transfixed by his playing and those damn hands of his you couldn't possibly move.

"Earth to Y/N?" Renjun went as far as snapping his fingers right in front of your face.

"Huh?" you let out.

"Did I enchant you or what?"

"I think you did," you chuckled. "Just...wow. You're insanely good."

He looked away bashfully.

"Thanks. It just takes practice."

"Nah, I've heard people play before but what you have is different. So pure and genuine. Like a blessing. And I'm not just saying that because I think I'm falling in love with you. I really mean every word."

"Care to repeat that?"

"I really mean..." you started, still not registering what exactly you'd said. How far you'd gone. What you couldn't take back.

"Before that," Renjun reminded you gently. "You know. The part about falling in love with me."

"Shit. I was thinking out loud again, wasn't I?" you asked dumbly. "It's too early for that, I know. I'm really sorry. Let's just pretend I said nothing and forget about it, yeah?"

In your panic, you jumped up from the bench and were about to escape like a coward but Renjun grabbed your hand before you could take another step.

"I think I'm falling in love with you, too," he said.

"W-what?" you stammered.

"And I don't care about whether it's too early or not. And I'm not going to pretend I didn't hear it. So the question is...what are you going to do about that?"

"Me? What...am I supposed to do?"

"What you want to do," Renjun clarified.

"Um...I want to keep falling in love with you, Renjun. And holding your pretty hands. Spending time with you. Listening to your angelic voice. What I want...is for you to be my boyfriend."

"I thought I already was."

"You were?"

"We went on a couple of dates...we kissed...Haven't I made it obvious enough?"

"Oh, right," you chuckled. "Sorry."

"Say that word one more time, I dare you," Renjun slowly ran a finger down your lips.

"S-sorry?" you had to test his patience. Before you could argue, he kissed you fiercely, wrapping his palms around your cheeks. You were drowning beneath his touch, which was ridiculous, considering he was also setting your lips on fire. You figured if saying sorry too much was going to end up like this, you would be a fool not to take advantage of it.

"Pretty angel," Renjun whispered against your mouth. "My pretty angel."

You were practically melting and the only thing holding you together were Renjun's arms.

"For fear of sounding lame, I'm inclined to say your pretty angel's almost as pretty as you. Key word: almost," you giggled, recalling your earliest attempts at flirting with him.

"Lies," Renjun shook his head.

"Hey, it worked the first time!" you pouted.

"It only worked because you're the pretty one," Renjun ruffled your hair playfully.

"Oh my God, shut up," you covered your face to hide how red it was.

"Never."

The End

[fruitydiaz-archived]

97 — “It’s not that easy.” for @eddie-diass

from this prompt list

Eddie thinks this should be easy. He’s spent the last three years of his life not thinking about Buck romantically.

Not that he really succeeded in stopping the thoughts all together, but he did succeed in distracting himself from them, from diving into them and figuring out what they meant. That should be the easy part — finding a distraction. He’s always been good at that.

He wishes he didn’t have to, is the thing. He got out of the hospital and started healing his busted shoulder and realized that life was short and he could die at any second and broke up with Ana and turned around to find his best friend locking lips with Taylor Kelly. Literally, he showed up to work on his first day back to find Buck leaning against his car with Taylor pressed against him like this was an 80s romcom and they were a bunch of lovesick high schoolers.

It stung. It made him bitter and jealous and angry — like he was a lovesick high schooler.

“You’re mad that I didn’t tell you about Taylor,” Buck had said later, when he approached him in the locker room. Eddie rolled his eyes and kept his head in his locker, refusing to look at Buck.

“No, I knew there was something going on. She was at my damn welcome home party, Buck. You’re not subtle.” Buck grimaced.

“You had enough going on, Eds. It just didn’t seem that important to bring up.”

Eddie spun around and stared at him, a little dumbfounded.

“You didn’t think your new relationship with your girlfriend was that important?”

Buck froze. He stared blankly at Eddie before his gaze shifted away and his shoulders dropped a little. Eddie watched him run a hand through his hair, step into the locker room and slide onto one of the benches.

“Wrong choice of words, maybe,” Definitely. “I just didn’t want to bother you with it. You were my priority, you know? Helping you feel better. Still are.”

Eddie’s thought about that line an infinite number of times since it left Buck’s lips.

You were my priority, you know? Helping you feel better. Still are.

Eddie doesn’t know how to tell Buck that that’s weird. That the fact that Eddie, who had a girlfriend at the time, was Buck’s priority, when he also had a girlfriend at the time (and still does, as Eddie’s brain keeps helpfully reminding him), is fucking weird. And it’s probably not fair of him to even try since he just came to the realization himself that the way that they’ve been acting for the last three years is weird as fuck and not the way two best friends who want to stay best friends and only best friends act.

It just hurts that he came to the realization too late.

One day, when Eddie’s stewing up in the loft, trying hard not to be bitter over the fact that he and Buck were about to throw down in a battle of ping pong when Taylor stopped by and swooped him up and out to her car for a chat, and failing — Hen settles down next to him.

He glances at her and she shoots him a sympathetic smile, offering to share the bag of chips she’s snacking on. He shakes his head but thanks her anyway.

“Must be really bad,” Hen says, focusing on her bag of chips. “To turn down your favorite chips.”

“How do you know they’re my favorite?” Eddie raises an eyebrow. He checks the bag again and — she’s right. They are his favorite, from his childhood. He never eats them around the station because he likes to save them for special occasions, ones that make him feel like he’s young and naive again.

He has a bag stored at the back of his pantry at home right now. But he’s pretty sure Hen’s never seen him eat them.

“Buck put in a special request with Bobby to get them stocked up. He said they’re your favorite. Something about a childhood treat.”

Eddie doesn’t remember telling Buck that. He’s sure he must have, in passing at some point, probably during his recovery, but he didn’t know Buck had latched onto it like that.

He doesn’t know what to say to that, so he keeps his mouth shut. It’s been 10 minutes since Buck left with Taylor. Eddie’s getting antsy. He can’t help it when he glances in the direction of the garage again.

“You should tell him, you know.”

Eddie stares at her, raising his eyebrows again. He can play stupid.

“Hm?” Hen stares back at him.

“Buck. About how you feel.”

Eddie feels the blood drain from his face. He looks away from Hen quickly, dropping his eyes to his lap.

“Yeah? About what?”

“Oh, geez, Eddie, come on. Don’t make me spell it out for you.” He doesn’t say anything. Hen softens her voice. “Listen, I know the way that you’re feeling is scary, I know it’s probably new to you. But you and Buck have a relationship like no one I’ve ever seen — and I’m including all the married couples I know.”

Eddie shifts in his seat and keeps his eyes averted.

“Seeing him with Taylor is cutting you up inside, Eddie. Every time you see her I’m afraid to cross through your line of sight because I’m not trying to get caught in the crossfire of those little eye darts of yours.”

“So what?” Eddie cuts her off. He’s never liked people throwing his feelings back at him, not when they’re already uncomfortable enough to face on his own. He looks up at her and sets his jaw. “I appreciate your concern, Hen, okay? But I’m not going to tell Buck that I don’t like his girlfriend just because...just because…”

“Because you’re in love with him, Eddie.”

Eddie stills. He feels his brain shut off and the panic spike in his chest, feels the fight or flight response kicking in instantly. He struggles to breathe.

“I’m not…”

He is.

“Eddie. It’s okay. I’m not telling anyone. I’m just...telling you what I see.”

They sit in silence for a moment. Eddie lets her words settle over him, squares his shoulders and confronts the fact that this is reality. He can’t hide from his feelings.

“I can’t lose him, Hen,” Eddie says after a moment, his voice so quiet that she barely hears him.

“Watching him with Taylor isn’t losing him?” Hen counters. “Look, I get that you’re scared that you’ll tell him how you feel and then it’ll ruin your friendship forever — but it doesn’t have to.”

“It’ll change things.”

“Maybe not the way you think,” Hen shifts so she’s looking Eddie straight in the eye. “The way you look at him when you think he’s not looking? That’s the same way he’s looking at you when your back is turned. Trust me. I’ve been watching it for years.

“Eddie, you both went through something traumatic together. You got shot and Buck watched you bleed out. You both thought you were gonna lose each other. In a way, your relationship became stronger after that. But you also realized how important he is to you. And he realized the same thing. Why do you think he rushed into his relationship with Taylor?”

“Because he’s wanted her for years?” Hen gives him a look.

“Because she’s safer. If Buck loses her, it’ll hurt like hell but he’ll move on. If anything were to happen and he lost you...we both know what would happen.”

“So why would I tell him?”

“Because you both love each other. I like Taylor and I’m glad she and Buck are happy together. But they’re not gonna last, Eddie. That boy would die for you. No one is ever going to mean as much to him as you and Christopher do, we all know that.”

“...It’s not that easy,” Eddie says quietly. He looks over as Buck skips back into the garage, shining and grinning big, like he always does after he sees Taylor. Eddie’s heart settles in the pit of his stomach like a rock.

“Be right up there to kick your ass at ping pong, Diaz, don’t think I forgot!” Buck calls, before he takes off to the locker room. Eddie swallows.

“The things that are worth it are rarely easy,” Hen says to him, setting her hand down on one of his and squeezing gently. “He loves you too, Eddie. Trust me.”

And with that she’s gone and Eddie struggles to pull himself back together before Buck comes back up the stairs.

He’s not gonna tell Buck how he feels. He’ll probably have to, eventually, and it terrifies him to think that that might be soon, since apparently everyone around them can clearly see the thing that they keep dancing around.

But he can’t do it while Buck is dating Taylor. If Hen thinks they’re not going to last long, then he can wait until then.

Buck’s happy with her, and Eddie thinks he should be allowed to have someone that makes him feel happy.

Even if it’s not him.

[magireco]

Would love to hear more thoughts on how these girls have understandable teenage motivations (A+ tag analysis by the way)

1. Thank you!!!!!!

2. ALRIGHT IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS (shuffles my papers). i’ve gone off about homura’s motivations in depth before but i think it was only in dms/groupchats? anyways i’ll go in order with All the girls bc i think about this all the time as a teenager who grew up mentally ill and had their perceptions skewed because of it, and also i don’t think it’s talked about nearly enough for the others, at least on my blog... so, buckle up!!! this is REALLY LONG!!!! 

3. i tried writing like, an individual thing for every member of the quintet all together in this one ask, but i ended up talking a little too much about homura and now i’m going to split up all the different analysis stuff for each character into the reblogs and work on it every so often! you’re free to kinda skim of course because i really did write a whole novel but here we go!! read under the cut. :3 this is literally essay length btw. i did NOT expect it to get this long but if you want to read it all i’d recommend it but i don’t expect most people to

First: Homura Akemi

okay so i’m going to kind of summarize everything but from the perspective of empathizing with her so if you don’t want to reread a whole recap you can skip to the ending few paragraphs

Summary

first of all, in episode 10, homura’s past is explained for the viewer. she was a shy, unsure girl who had been bedridden for a long time. she was clearly unsocialized, not to mention she went to a catholic school and those can be brutal, esp in japan... that’s all we know about her in that episode, but it’s revealed in one of the drama cds that she was bullied as a child(& further at mitakihara middle), her parents never were mentioned ever (i assume them to either be dead or neglectful, considering she lives alone and unchecked), and in magia record, homura says to natsuki that she’s never had friends before, she hasn’t been on vacation before until the beachside bonds event, hasn’t ever celebrated valentine’s day, has never celebrated new years, etc... 

clearly, she’s missed out on a lot not only because of her sickness and hospitalization, but because of her isolation as a child at school. judging by her demeanor and the way she reacts when madoka comes up to her without being asked to, something like that had never happened to her before. it’s clear to me that madoka was many of homura’s “first’s”, her first friend, the first person who reached out to her, the first person to compliment her name honestly(validating her, disproving her dislike of her name), the first person to regard her so kindly rather than judging her based off of her appearance and demeanor (like other students had apparently done, this is also shown when the other students at mitakihara middle make fun of her for being tired after only being able to run one lap). AND, madoka (and mami, but homura knew madoka better at that time) saved her life, even though homura was so willing to die, just in that moment... i’d assume it made homura feel like someone believed in her even when she was at her worst. it’s really clear by the glimmer in her eyes that these are nice people that made her feel happy and welcome... and then walpurgisnacht came. she didn’t know much about magical girls and just believed in madoka and mami to be able to defeat the witch because she saw them as strong and saw the witch as defeatable, despite its size. and then mami died, right in front of her and madoka... 

this kinda seems headcanon-y when i phrase it this way but it’s practically proven in her actions but i really think homura is scared to be abandoned, especially by someone who was as overtly kind and nonjudgemental to her as madoka... it’s in the way she cries her name and says “don’t go” before madoka runs away to fight walpurgisnacht. OH ALSO, i need to address this one thing really quick because people like to assume that homura didn’t care about mami from the beginning and only liked madoka. it’s not that she wasn’t sad when mami died, she was clearly terrified and didn’t want the same to happen to madoka, also mami LITERALLY WASN’T IN HER CLASS OR HER GRADE so i assume she spent most of her time with madoka considering they were in the same grade and class and probably shared most of their periods with each other... but also, once again, mami is older than both of them and homura probably saw her as more of a mentor/teacher that she needed to impress rather than madoka who was more on her level, i guess?

anyways, moving on... homura had to see madoka die (& experience the crushing guilt she felt for “letting madoka go” even though there was nothing she could’ve done) and literally says “i’d rather you had lived than saved someone like me” ... her self worth is below zero. she makes her wish to be strong enough to protect madoka(because she sees madoka, her first friend, who saved her life which she felt had no worth, as so strong and noble) which causes her to go back in time, etc. etc., you know the deal. okay before i move on to talk a little more abt the timelines and the personality change i’m going to address why it’s reasonable that she’d be attached to madoka.

i mentioned before that homura said herself that she had never had a friend before. just like, put yourself into her shoes for a second. this girl has no idea how to make friends; it was never taught to her. it’s literally rational that she’d get attached to her first ever friendship. it’s not “normal” the way she views madoka, but how could it be? this is her first time having a friend, she’s afraid of being abandoned by her, but she’s had to see her die over and over again anyway. she doesn’t want to lose madoka. even if she doesn’t go about it in the right way, there’s no way she would’ve actually known how to Do relationships. no one taught her. i think that needs to be empathized with more...

i kinda feel like i need to summarize all this just bc if i word it right it kinda reminds you & puts into perspective just how terrible and scary all of this was.

anyway Again, i would skip straight to the end of timeline 3 (where a New Flavor of trauma is given to homura) but i need to first address timeline 2 for a second. it was homura’s first time repeating the timeline, she trained with madoka and mami again, she was still hopeful despite what happened, etc. kinda just bonding further with madoka Again... and then it’s at the end of this timeline that she watches madoka turn into a witch, just in front of her very eyes... and realizes the true fate of magical girls. when she resets the timeline again, it’s up to her to start anew and break the truth to the group when she sees them again. when she tries telling the truth, sayaka immediately shoves this aside, claiming homura was just trying to split everyone up. it’s clear that that hurts homura. (also the little shinies in her eyes were wavering which is anime-code for sad) her feelings were immediately disregarded by sayaka and she couldn’t defend herself, but madoka did for her, and mami tried to diffuse the situation. 

after they all find out homura was right when sayaka turns into a witch, mami kills kyoko and ties up homura in her ribbons and aims a gun at her, and this, rightfully, ignited a fear within homura... madoka is forced to kill mami in order to save homura, leaving only the two of them to fight together. then, when walpurgisnacht comes that time, The Promise is made... madoka tells homura to go back in time and save her from becoming a witch (because she doesn’t want to curse the world that way, she still sees beauty in it) and homura agrees, saying she’ll never stop until she saves madoka, and then... homura has to mercy kill madoka before she becomes a witch. she cries loudly and shoots madoka’s soul gem... it’s literally so heartwrenching and (usually) brings the viewer to tears, or puts something into perspective for them...

then we assume the personality change happens in the timeline right after. this personality change causes a lot of discourse because sometimes it’s seen as kind of irrational, but personally, i think even moemura had at least SOME resent for the world around her considering what she’d been through. it’s madoka’s repeated deaths that finally push her over that edge. i could get further into the coolmura arc but that’d take a WHILE, so i’ll just kind of explain something briefly though -- why homura ended up becoming even MORE focused on madoka. and i’m also going to debunk the claim that homura doesn’t care about her other friends as fast as i can before moving on.

also, ONE LAST side tangent, for those that think homura really did do a 360 degree personality turn are wrong. it’s shown explicitly in homulilly’s labyrinth that there’s this... “core” homura, a shadowy purple silhouette with braids. every time the series depicts homura’s internal self, it’s always glasses+braids, symbolizing her “child” self, who she truly is. she never stopped being that person. she doesn’t want to kill. ...but i can get into that in a rebellion analysis later! this is also shown in wraith arc bc the person inside her soul gem has glasses+braids. anyway let’s get to the next part i’m going to rant about

Homura’s Love for Madoka, but Otherwise Apathy

homura has seen many different, yet all similar, versions of her friends. the first claim i’m going to talk about which i saw brought up quite a few times before is in regards to homura and mami. first of all, homura absolutely still cares for mami, and not just in the “i only care about your life if it affects madoka’s” way. one part that always gets me is when mami ties her up in the series timeline after homura frantically warns her that this witch isn’t normal, to which mami IMMEDIATELY brushes this off, without even giving homura a chance. then, when mami’s ribbons fade away, homura looks horrified and just goes “oh no...” and it’s kind of obvious to me that it was in response to mami’s death rather than madoka’s reaction. this is arguably up for debate i guess because i’ve seen different takes on that reaction and it’s ambiguous, i guess? but i’m about to get into something extremely similar and that’s the sayaka situation, where madoka throws sayaka’s soul gem onto a moving car. homura gasps and immediately pauses time and disappears, running in literal open traffic and climbing on top of a moving car to retrieve sayaka’s soul gem. one could argue that this is ALSO only just because homura wants to save madoka (and kyoko) the fear, but don’t you think her expression would be different? if homura truly didn’t care for sayaka’s wellbeing, wouldn’t she be making an expression more similar to like, “oh, this shit again...” instead of the frantic one she was making in the scene? this kind of thing Also happens when kyoko asks homura to leave while kyoko’s about to sacrifice herself in oktavia’s labyrinth, and homura looks up sadly at kyoko and then back down at madoka, and once she knew kyoko was dead, she just quietly said “kyoko...” to herself. she usually refers to them as [last name, first name], but she dropped that during that moment... it otherwise sounds like a bare minimum thing to do, but keep in mind the timeline we’re shown in the series is implied to be like, the 110th timeline, i think? like, this is the last timeline, she’s worn down, but she still does have empathy -- or at least sympathy -- for the others. she still loves them. 

homura promised to be madoka’s protector, she dedicated her life to her, and also she doesn’t have a choice not to dedicate her life to her anymore, even though that’s not fair to her... homura is in a really hopeless situation and madoka is her hope, and madoka is the one that judges her the least out of the quintet (like saying “i’m sure homura is good” to herself) upon first impression. also okay i mentioned this already in my last post (which you saw) but i’m going to bring it up one more time, homura is not mentally 26!!!!!! she is still 14 mentally!! in order to be 26, you have to have experienced 26 years of new life experience. maybe you acquire that through school, maybe you aquire that through friends, whatever it takes. but homura just repeated the same month over and over, and it’s not like her body (canonically) ages ever. she just kind of gets transported back into her body in the hospital again considering she’s back wearing her braids and pajamas... so, yeah. no mental development there. i also mentioned this here but i’m gonna say it again, that just makes it even harder for her to actually age correctly... it stunts her to 14. imagine being 14 for 10-11 years...

In Defense Of My Own Claims

btw before you think i’m just going full-on radical homura apologist, i’m not explaining all of this to be like “homura made ALL THE RIGHT DECISIONS because her trauma gave her an excuse!!” because like, Obviously, she did a lot of bad things, she killed people, did a lot of callous things, a lot of thoughtless things, a lot of things that make her seem emotionless, etc. but i just have trouble blaming her considering how things ended up, and it’s not like she enjoys killing people. she’s not sadistic... she ends up becoming short with all the others not only because of her (extremely) weakened trust in them, but also because the amount of times she repeated the timeline. i’d imagine it makes her feel like the others can’t truly die because she can just go back and see them again. (this is also why wraith arc/post-tv series must’ve been hard for her because she can no longer turn back time, things are permanent now, deaths are forever) she’s become so worn down that she’ll do anything to escape the loops... also considering she has no choice but to continue? although it shouldn’t be, it’s technically her job as a magical girl to defeat all witches and walpurgisnacht counts. it kills magical girls and tears up the whole city and she’s usually the only magical girl left... her choices, when defeated, are either to give up and die or to go back and try again, and she made a promise to her first ever friend to do just the latter... i just don’t understand how this isn’t easier for people to comprehend, that all of this trauma and stress and responsibility on top of an already traumatized 14 year old does not mix well. ever. she had to figure out all of this by herself.

TL;DR:

homura was a previously traumatized, unsocialized 14 year old with (very)low self esteem & self worth whose first friend (and first love, really, let’s be honest) died in front of her in horrific ways and she watched as she (and the other friends she came to make) drifted slowly apart from her in her endless and futile attempt in saving her from what proved to be an inescapable fate. also she’s 14 and also she’s (canonically) mentally ill and a lesbian. not a monster, not evil, not “psycho”. and that’s that!

[httpsaiki]

Hiyaaa! I saw your blog and its amazing!🤧 If its not a bother may i request a saiki x fem!reader where saiki admires her and eventually falls in love with her because she's 'normal'. Its up to you if they end up together or not! Thank you!

Hello! Thank you so so much <3! And it is not a bother at all, this was a really cute idea, I hope I could do it justice! I hope you like it! 

----

Just Average

Reader is female! 

WC: 832

Italics are (usually) Saiki “speaking” telepathically.

Normalicy is something that Saiki has always admired. 

—————————————————–

Saiki never intended to let it get this bad. Sure, maybe you’re just average, and sure, maybe he admires that, but it was nothing more. He considered his small, vague feelings a simple admiration of how normal your life is. It would never go any further. Besides, he hardly even knows you. He sits behind you in class and had seen you around sometimes, but you’d never really spoken. He wasn’t even sure why he paid attention to you. You seemed perfectly average, and while that’s something Saiki never got the chance to experience in his own day-to-day life, it was nothing really worth his attention. But, despite your normalcy, something always stuck out to him.

Saiki was never sure what. He sure would like to find out.

He watched as you sat during break, eating your lunch. Maybe he should talk to you? It wouldn’t hurt, and he’d be able to find out what stood out about you so much. There were many things he considered, from the fact you don’t attract much attention to your polite and calm demeanor. It would be best to actually talk to you, though. Saiki didn’t want to come off as creepy, you know, standing there watching a girl eat her lunch and all. 

So he walked up, hoping none of his idiot friends would come to disrupt this rare chance he was getting. Usually, you wouldn’t be in a position where it’s not easy for him to just walk up and talk to you. Whether it be your friends in his way, or it being poor timing for him to start a conversation. 

Lucky for Saiki, you looked up and greeted him with a smile. He was confused at how excited you were to have him sit with you, but accepted it despite that. You made small talk, which he was thankful for because oddly enough he did not think that far ahead at all. You chatted between the two of you until lunchtime was over. Admittedly, Saiki had a lovely time. During that small time, his life felt normal. 

This cycle continued for a few weeks, progressively developing into what you were both confident to call a proper friendship. You made time at least twice a week to have lunch together away from your usual groups. Sometimes, Saiki even joined in with your group, opting to have lunch away from his band of weirdos. Well, that was his excuse, he really just wanted to talk to you some more (not that he’d ever tell you that).

It evolved further, to meeting outside of school to get coffee jelly, or you visiting to play trashy video games with him and even watching obscure animes together. It was always nice spending time doing whatever, you made things interesting That was the scary part, though. Saiki was enjoying it, and his previously vague and little admiration was becoming a whole lot more. He’d never imagined himself feeling anything intensely towards anyone, but he was starting to have such strong emotions towards you that he couldn’t stand it anymore. It was a tad insufferable, if he was honest, as he really hadn’t ever dealt with anything like it. 

Saiki felt he had two rather drastic options, ask you out or ignore you completely. Even just thinking about the latter made his heart hurt ever so slightly, so he supposed he’d give the first a shot. He was still terrified at the thought. The funny thing was, he can read your mind, and yet had no idea how you’d react to possibly being something more with him. Besides that, he had no desire to admit his feelings to himself. Saiki wanted to approach it with his generic not-caring attitude, but he couldn’t bring himself to do so. He cared, a little too much if anything. 

After a few days of preparations and planning, Saiki felt more ready. He’d been keeping a close eye on your thoughts, just to make sure he wasn't about to make a fool out of himself. He was all in the clear.

And in true Saiki fashion, he was as blunt as possible. 

“Y/N. Let’s go out.”

“Well hello to you too, Saiki. Where do you want to go?”

Was that really not clear enough? 

“I mean, will you go out with me?”

He could see the exact moment the realization as to what he meant dawned on you. 

“I-I mean, yeah, of course, I would. I’m kind of boring though, you sure?”

He smiled at you. If only you knew.

“Yes. I’m sure.”

So, he sat down next to you, as he usually did. You had lunch together as normal, nothing had really changed, but you both felt different. It was a good feeling, being connected in a new way like this. Sure, maybe you’re just average, but it is sure that Saiki deeply admires that about you, among so many other things.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Family member anon here. Reader and they uncle tricky is awesome ^_^ and hope looking others for having a relatives for them.

Zardy is friend with his farmer neighbor that brought his grandkid for the summer and reader loved to help they grandpa farm and making new friend with zardy. When summer is over the reader gonna miss they grandpa and zardy, many years later zardy took his friend corn farm and taking caring it. It’s Halloween day and the reader dress up as a scarecrow just like they friend zardy, encounter boyfriend and girlfriend walking to a corn farm. The reader got new friends but zardy came to tell boyfriend to go away, boyfriend didn’t leave and the music began while the reader trying stop zardy but zardy doesn’t recognize reader them. When the song is over the reader rushed to hug zardy to tell that reader is zardy friend grandkid

Zardy’s human friend's grandkid (Reader) returns to the maze many years later dressed as a scarecrow, only to meet BF and GF who end up challenging Zardy to a singing match.

...........

Summer at Zardy's Maze was always fun for you, especially after learning that the scarecrow himself, Zardy, was able to come to life at night. He kept your grandpa company, helping him chase out any trespassers and keep the crops watered.

Unfortunately, this summer would most likely be the last one you'd spend at the maze, since you're moving onto college and may not be able to care for the farm anymore.

Your grandpa reassured you that he and Zardy will take care of things...although the scarecrow was less than pleased to learn of your departure.

But he bore no ill-will towards you, hugging you goodbye as you left the farm for the final time.

Years would pass and soon his longtime friend would also leave. Not only the farm, but the world.

And that was the day Zardy truly felt alone.

Things haven't been easy since, especially with his grudge against trespassers who dared "disrespect" the maze. Other creatures of the night would come to aid him in his eternal quest to preserve what remains of the giant flowers that towered over the cornstalks.

Of course, he knew not all humans were bad. But most were.

Anyone who set foot inside the maze will not come out alive.

...........

"Man..this is itchy, but I hope it's worth it.." You scratched your arm, feeling the fleece material of your costume as you checked yourself in the mirror.

Then you smiled and saw how scary you actually looked. You were a scarecrow, after all, similar to your old friend Zardy but not quite like him.

You've never forgotten about him, often missing the fun times you two had while working on the farm.

Since it was Halloween and you actually had time to do whatever you want, why not make this year extra special and revisit him?

Once you grabbed your witch-like hat and belongings, you were on your way to the maze. A friend dropped you off at its entrance, wondering why you wanted to spend Halloween all alone here. But they didn't question it and simply drove off after you waved goodbye.

"Beep!"

You blinked, confused about whether that was your friend's car. Though..it didn't sound like a horn at all.

It was more like-

"Oh! Hi, scarecrow!"

Grinning, you decided to put on a spooky act and turn around to face the people who greeted you: a blue-haired guy and a lady in a red dress, both who looked around your age.

"Welcome, friends~ What brings you to my cornfield on this frightful night?"

"Uh," the girl began. "We just wanted to take a walk through the-"

"I suggest you leave..lest you forfeit your right to live."

You recognized the voice and immediately dropped the act, spinning around upon seeing Zardy standing there. He looked more aged, his body tattered, and he was gripping a garden hoe like it was a scythe. The glow from his eye sockets was more orange as he gazed at you three.

"Good job catchin' these trespassers, friend."

"H-Huh? Zardy, I-" You began.

"You should know these humans ain't welcomed here." He interrupted coldly. "They only wanna disrupt the peace with their damn noise cannons...and destroy what ain't theirs. Don't tell me you're gonna defend 'em after what they did to us."

'Humans aren't welcomed..?' You were shocked to hear those words. 'What happened to this place? What happened to..my friend?'

Zardy's gaze flickered back to Blue Guy, noting the microphone in his hand. "Ah, you sing? I'd say I'm quite the musician myself. Let this be just a secret between us four, alright? Don't go tellin' Pumpkin Jack anything." He warned with a snicker. "If ya want a show..I'll give ya a show."

Although you knew absolutely nothing of this "Pumpkin Jack" he was talking about, you knew Zardy was determined to chase out these innocent people. So you reluctantly stepped back and watched as he and Blue Guy had a sing-off.

'I don't remember grandpa ever teaching him about music..'

Red Dress Girl, who you soon learned was "Cherry", told you about her boyfriend--Blue Guy who's name is "Keith". She was surprised when you said you weren't actually a scarecrow, just someone in a costume who was close friends with Zardy.

Though as you tried to explain, the song became more intense, and you noticed Zardy was practically screaming at Keith with haunting undertones in his vocals. Miraculously the latter remained fearless, keeping up with the rhythm until the very end.

Once the music ended, Zardy was infuriated at losing. Then he spun his tool around, raising the bladed part and scowling at Keith, who now became terrified as he beeped out of fear.

But before anyone could get hurt, you finally intervened, running over to hug your old friend tightly. "Zardy, stop!! Don't hurt them!!"

"..huh..?" The straw of hay fell from his mouth as he glanced down at you, recognizing your voice. "You couldn't be....no. Of course not. They've forgotten about me...or perhaps they're gone, too."

"My costume is that convincing?" Stepping back, you removed your mask so that he could see it was truly you, smiling up at him. "That surprises even me, but I never forgot about you."

"[Y/n].." His eyes widened with astonishment.

You've grown so much since the last time he saw you..

He just didn't know what to say. "I...I didn't-"

"It's okay, I forgive you for what you said about humans. I know a lot of us suck, but there's good ones out there." You chuckled, glad that he finally realized it was you.

Dropping his weapon, Zardy brought you into a tight hug, his hands trembling. "I've missed you so much, old buddy. It's been..far too long, and I've just been..so lonely and angry and..."

"I'm sorry I haven't come back sooner," you returned the embrace. "But I'm not leaving you again."

Keith and Cherry could only look on at the touching scene, smiling as they saw that this scarecrow wasn't so scary and mean after all. Sure, they were confused on your friendship with him, but they knew better than to interrupt.

So they quietly left the maze, hoping you'll enjoy the rest of your Halloween with your old friend.

[get-lost-in-fanfiction]

if you still do requests for ben-centric stuff, could you do reader/oc time travels and meets baby ben in the 70s? or something similar >//> thank you! -❄️

Second Meeting - Oneshot

Paring: Ben Linus x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

There’s something to be said about how quickly three years can go by. You can still remember how bad your headache was during the flashes. You still remember clinging tightly to Ben’s shirt before he descended into the Orchid. You didn’t know what was going to happen or if you were ever going to see him again. But the last 3 years have been a blur, full of everything DHARMA Initiative, and yet he still hasn’t left your mind.

You miss Ben terribly. Despite the many date offers by the Initiative members, you never allowed yourself to go on any of them. Juliet had tried to encourage you to go on some, even set them up for you. She knew it was pointless, and that even after three years you still held strong feelings for her old leader.

When Jack, Kate, and Hurley showed up you felt a shred of hope. You went with James to meet them, heart full of joy. It all sank when Kate never mentioned Ben at all, and you were too afraid to ask if he had come along. You were even more shocked to learn Locke had died, and were desperate to know how. You didn’t want to push it though, and your heart and brain was so full of shock you could barely get a sentence out.

You rode in silence with James back to the Barracks. You both had a silence agreement to not ask each other how you felt. That was how your friendship worked, and that’s how it always worked. From day one to now, it’s a silence agreement that neither of you two are okay but you won’t press for information.

You two are back at James and Juliet's house, rummaging through his wardrobe, grabbing shirts from hangers quickly. Juliet enters and you don’t hear her until she speaks.

“Hey,” She says and you look up while James keeps looking.

“You seen my baggy sweatshirt, the one with the bulldog on it?” He asks, still frantically pulling clothes together. You just stand there, looking at the shirt in your hands.

“It's in the laundry. James... what's going on?” Juliet asks, and James finally turns around. He gives a pained look to you, and you know exactly why.

“They're back,” You half whisper, and Juliet looks between the both of you in disbelief.

“I'm sorry. Who's back?” She asks.

“Jack, Hurley, Kate,” James replies, and Juliet has so many emotions on her face it’s hard for you to decode them all.

You tune out the conversation. Juliet’s expression did something to you. It shoved some sharp in between the cracks that were already there and threatened to shatter you. You were shaken from your thoughts as James drops the bag of clothes and sits on the bed beside Juliet. You realize you’ve been standing still for a while now and drop down beside him.

James sighs, “I don’t understand it any more than you do. But they're here, and I gotta find a way to bring 'em in before somebody else finds 'em and they screw up everything we got here.”

That's when it hits you, “There's a sub coming in this afternoon,” you say with your voice raised slightly and a sliver of hope comes back.

The next hours are a blur of trying to get Jack, Kate, and Hurley into the Initiative without raising any red flags. You think it seems to go smoothly enough, but nothing is ever simple. Especially not when Jack, Kate, and James are back involved with one another again. You watch Juliet very carefully throughout the day, and her expressions. You realize as you watch, that life as you know it has come to an end. God, planes do so much emotional damage.

When you get word there’s someone out in the jungle, some part of you screams that it’s Ben. They’ve taken him as a Hostile, which is not good. Your mind is already spinning with ideas on how to get him out. But then James gets word on his walkie that it’s Sayid, and your heart deflates. You’re not upset that Sayid is here, you just desperately wished it was Ben. So you volunteer to ride out with James to the Flame to see what’s going on.

Just as you expected, James turns you down. He says you need to keep an eye on Jack, Kate, and Hurley and he says he’ll take care of Sayid. You find yourself nodding, feeling numb. There was no one else with Sayid. You can almost feel hope draining out of your body and onto the grass beneath your feet.

You stand next to Phil in silence through the whole Orientation and picture taking. Everything seems like a blur and you’re not really present in your own head. Stuck in 1977 without the man you love.

“Okay,” Phil says and he claps his hands, shaking your from your thoughts, “Right on. So you guys have the rest of the day to get acquainted with your security protocol handbooks waitin' in your new digs. Now some of it may seem a little scary, but I promise you all, we are perfectly safe here, okay? So make yourselves at home. Come on. We got hamburgers. We got punch.”

Phil’s walkie goes off and you hear James’s voice through the other end “You there, Phil? We're coming in with a 14-J.”

“Roger that, Mr. LaFleur,” Phil’s replies and turns to you. He nods and you nod back, preparing to see your friend again

A DHARMA van stops and Phil speaks up again, “Okay, if I could get everyone to hold back, please, we have a minor security situation.”

James, Jin and Radzinsky step out with Sayid. You watch them all, and you and Sayid make eye contact. You’re surprised to see his eyes widen slightly at the sight of you. You don’t nod or make any acknowledgement that you know him, Phil is too close.

“Move,” Radzinsky says and you can’t help but flinch as they march him away.

“I guess we found Sayid,” You can hear Hurley say and you privately think that this is going to end up being a horrible shit show.

You follow the group despite Phil’s protests as you tag along while they march Sayid down the stairs of the security office and into a prison cell.

“All right, you can hang out here until we can figure out what the hell to do with you,” James says to Sayid and you have to remind yourself his tone is just for appearances sake. You don’t understand why you’re so sensitive

“What are we gonna do with him?” Phil asks James, giving you a sidelong glance. You and Phil have never gotten along. He didn’t like a woman working on the security team, but James insisted.

James sighs deeply before answering, “Bring the man some damn food. We're not savages.” James turns and locks the cell and gives Sayid a glance before walking away.

You want to stay and talk to Sayid. You want to ask him about Ben. Is he still on the mainland in 2007? Is he alive? Did he come with them on the plane? You’re torn and want to stand up for yourself, but Phil tells you to “come along” with a firm grip on your elbow and to have to comply. You give Sayid a tortured look behind Phil’s back and Sayid responds with a sad look and a bowed head.

You win by getting Phil to allow you to watch the security cameras. He sits at his desk, pretending to do work, but you know he's watching you. You sit in one of the chairs facing the screens and just start at Sayid feeling forlorn.

You hear the door open but don't bother to look up. You've been sulking this whole time feeling sorry for yourself. Your ears perk up when you hear a young boy’s voice

“Hey, Phil,” the boy says and you turn around, “I'm just gonna go in there and deliver him a sandwich.”

“All right”, Phil replies, nodding at you to keep an eye out. Your eyes widen as you watch the boy. He looks at you and your eyes lock.

Your heart explodes in familiarity at his eyes and you're in disbelief. The boy turns and walks away, obviously oblivious to what just happened with you. You scramble to your feet despite Phil’s protests and tag along with the boy.

You two enter the cell room. Sayid looks between you and the boy. The boy doesn’t seem to notice

“Hello. I brought you a sandwich,” the boy says and holds a bag through the bars, “I didn't put mustard on it, but if you'd like some, I could get some.”

“This will be fine. Thank you,” Sayid replies. The paper bag crinkles and your throat is dry. The boy looks up at you and you smile apprehensively at him. It’s meant to be reassuring but you don’t think it comes off that way.

“Are you a Hostile?” The boy whispers, looking at you with a terrified expression. You’re unable to say anything.

“Do you think I am?” Sayid shoots back, flicking his eyes over to you every few seconds.

“What's your name?” The boy replies, and it’s a game of questions. You squat down next to the boy, ready to pull him away if Sayid gives away too much information.

“Sayid. What's yours?”

“I'm Ben.”

Suddenly your ears are ringing. You almost fall over but catch yourself on the wall. Sayid is looking at you funny, seemingly shocked as well but more shocked at your reaction.

“It's nice to meet you, Ben,” Sayid replies with his eyes on you.

It’s Ben. It’s young Ben. You had no idea he was with the Initiative. Was he the one who started the Purge? ‘Oh my god’ you think. Young Ben leaves, giving you a weird look. He doesn’t recognize you, but how could he? Time is so fucked up, and you’re not even sure if this is the same Ben that you fell in love with. Will they grow up to be the same?

You press your back up against the nearest wall and slide down onto the floor. Your heart is pounding a bruise into your ribcage and you're lightheaded. Sayid looks at you, seemingly nervous to speak. You wouldn’t know what to say to him anyway. You're feeling way too many things at once to even be able to think about anything but oxygen to your deprived lungs.

Eventually, Phil comes storming in, pulling your shocked form off the floor, and sending you home. It's dark and chilly outside. All the lights of the houses are out except for James and Juliet’s. You don't go see them, you have to go home and process this whole day.

You make it home, barely flicking on a lamp before collapsing into bed in your jumpsuit. You manage to kick off your shoes and shimmy under your bed blankets. Maybe you don't have your Ben back, but at least you have a Ben.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged for oneshots!

[sfb123]

Sapere Aude - Part 11

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.

Word Count: 2,909

A/N: First of all, I have a couple of new readers (hi, thank you, I love you) if this is your first Sapere Aude, stop here, go back, and start from the beginning. This series has a lot of bombs and surprises, so none of this is going to make sense, and it’s going to make it less exciting if you aren’t reading from the beginning. 

Sorry, another long wait for a chapter. I got stuck, and distracted, and like a million other things. The Choices Insider email last week kind of lit a fire under me. When I started writing this (in December) the plan was to have it finished before the last book came out, so I have like a month to get through this. I’m going full out on getting this completed now, I will be working on nothing but this until it is done, and am hoping to finish it in time for the next book to come out so that PB has plenty of time to steal my ideas. 

This chapter took a while for me to work through, but @jessiembruno was amazing and helped me every step of the way, and got like a million rambling text messages from me once the idea dam finally broke. And then pre-reading and leaving me some amazing love notes, and super helpful suggestions. She also kept encouraging me, and pushing me to work on it when my mind would wander into new ideas, or thoughts on some other random WIP that I started throwing together. I love you, and I am so grateful for this friendship that goes way beyond any of this. By the way, you are an AMAZING writer, and I will continue to shout it from the mountain tops as long as I live. 

As always with this series, I need to thank @txemrn for pre-reading. I was having SUCH a miserable day and feeling so shitty about myself (for non-fandom reasons), and your reactions to this chapter made me laugh out loud for the first time in what felt like forever. I appreciate you so much my dear friend. 

And of course, thank you @twinkleallnight for my beautiful series moodboard. 

Tags: Listed below, you know the drill. 

Liam exited the bedroom and walked toward the sitting area. He paused at the end of the hallway to observe his wife and his daughter sitting on the couch. Riley had her blouse in hand, sewing on the button Olivia sent her for her undercover mission. She was showing Eleanor how to sew, talking her through every stitch. The princess was watching and listening intently, taking in every word her mother said. 

He leaned his right shoulder against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest as he admired his family. He didn’t understand how it was possible to fall even more in love every time he looked at them. All he wanted in this world was their happiness and safety, and now here he was, sending his wife straight to the enemy. 

“Hi Daddy!” The angelic voice of his daughter pulled him from his thoughts. 

“Hi Princess. Are you being a good helper for mommy?” He lifted Eleanor off the couch and sat in her seat, placing her on his lap. 

“Best helper a girl could ask for.” Riley held her hand out, palm up, and Eleanor gave her a high five. 

Liam enjoyed the company of his family for a few more moments, before placing a kiss on his daughter’s cheek. “Alright Eleanor, why don’t you go play in your room for a little while? Mommy and daddy have to talk about grown up things.”

“Yes, daddy. Will you come play after?” 

“Of course, I believe I am owed a tea party.” He gave her a hug before setting her down and watching her run to her room. When she was gone, he turned his attention back to Riley. “How are you feeling, love?”

Riley cut the lingering thread from the button and placed her blouse on the table in front of them before responding. “I mean, obviously I’m nervous, but I’m optimistic that I’ll come back with something we can use. How are you feeling?”

He sighed and pulled her close to him, kissing the top of her head as it landed on his chest. “Riley, I love how much you worry about me, but let me worry about you right now. Let me be your support system. Tell me truly, how are you feeling?”

“I’m...I’m terrified.” She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, tears beginning to pool in her own. “I’m trying so hard to be strong, to put on a brave face, but this is fucking terrifying. We don’t know how deep it goes, we know some of the people that are involved, but how do we know that that’s everyone?”

“You’re right, there are a lot of unknowns, and that’s scary.” He cupped her face in his hands, wiping a falling tear with his thumb. “But I truly believe that we are going to end this. That you are going to end this. Don’t forget, you are the Champion of The Realm.”

“Yeah, but I’m sleeping with the guy who makes those decisions, he may have been a little biased.” She shrugged, half joking. 

Liam removed his hands, his expression becoming more serious. “Riley, that’s not funny. You have earned every single thing you have received since you arrived in this country, our country. I don’t ever want you to believe that my feelings for you overrule my judgement when it comes to your abilities. You are the strongest person I have ever met. If anyone can do this, it’s you.”

“IF anyone can do this. What if nobody can?”

“Then we will face the fallout together. Like we always do, like we always will. We are the King and Queen of Cordonia, Liam and Riley Rys. We are a force to be reckoned with.” He raised an eyebrow as he parroted back her reassuring words from a few nights before. 

She smirked at him. “Hey, no fair, you can’t use my own words to prove your point like that.” 

“Yes I can, old negotiation tactic.” He winked at her and stood from the couch reaching for her hand. “Come on, we still have the whole day ahead of us. Let’s go have a tea party with our daughter, then I’m taking my girls out for dinner.”

****

Two days later, Riley was sitting in the back of an SUV heading toward the Fierro Estate. She was doing her best to quell her nerves, but she couldn’t help her hands from fidgeting in her lap. 

“You seem on edge, ma’am. Is everything ok?” The sound of Mara’s voice cut through the silence, startling Riley. 

“Oh...yeah, I’m fine Mara. I’m just not really sure what to expect from this meeting. Last time I went to one of these events, I found out my mother in law wasn’t actually dead. I don’t know if I could handle another surprise like that.”

Mara chuckled at her concern. “Don’t worry your majesty, this is a simple strategy meeting followed by a dinner. You have met all of the members, so there will be no surprise guests this time around.”

Riley nodded and turned her head, watching the scenery pass by as they continued to their destination. Her mind was racing thinking about what this meeting would have in store. She practiced taking pictures with the pen, and activating the recorder she had sewn into her shirt. As they got closer to the estate, she felt her heart rate speed up, and the knot in her stomach tighten.

When they arrived, Riley was ushered into the grand room, which had been set up with a large table. The other members were standing around in small groups chatting until it was time for the meeting to begin. Riley fidgeted with the pen, twirling it in her fingers before lifting it to her face and tapping it against her chin and clicking it several times. She hoped it came off as a nervous habit, providing cover for the fact that she was actually taking pictures around the room. 

She gasped and nearly jumped out of her skin at the feeling of a hand gently being placed on her shoulder. She whipped around to see Eleanor smiling softly at her. “Riley dear, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

“Oh, Eleanor. Hello.” Riley held her hand to her chest, trying to get her heart rate back to normal. “It’s ok, I’m just a little nervous. Not really sure what to expect from this meeting.”

“Don’t worry, I promise it’s just regular business, nothing earth shattering. Come on, it’s time to get this started, and you’re sitting next to me.” Eleanor wrapped her arm around Riley and led her to the table. The other guests took this as their cue to follow, as the meeting was about to get underway. As Riley sat, she adjusted her skirt and blouse, using the opportunity to activate the microphone embedded in her button. 

As the chapter president, Eleanor kicked off the meeting by greeting their newest member, Queen Riley, and explaining that she was there to help push their initiatives though with the King. Riley clenched her fist ever so slightly, a trick she used when she was trying to keep her expression neutral. They continued on, reviewing the minutes of the last meeting, it all seemed to be pretty mundane, things that wouldn't even necessarily cross hers or Liam’s desk. 

Then they opened up the floor to new business, and Neville stood to address the room. “I would like to revisit the Auvernal alliance.”

Riley was able to maintain her stoic expression, but her body tensed at the mention of Auvernal. She and Liam had made it perfectly clear that there would be no alliance. “I don’t believe there is anything to revisit there.” She chimed in. “King Liam and I determined that the alliance would not be beneficial for Cordonia.”

“Actually, I believe you determined the alliance would not be beneficial to you and your husband.” Neville rebutted, crossing his arms over his chest. “You didn’t want to marry off your daughter, you didn’t bother thinking of what the alliance could bring to our country.”

“Are you questioning the decisions of your monarchs? I urge you to remember your station, Lord Neville.” Riley raised an eyebrow and stood a bit taller. 

Neville scoffed at her threat. “And I urge you to remember that you may have slept your way to the top in Cordonia, but the Via Imperii is bigger than the monarchy, and in this society, I outrank you.”

“Well, if being the Queen doesn’t matter in this room, then there is nothing stopping me from coming over there and beating your a...”

“Ok ok ok, let’s all calm down here.” Eleanor grabbed Riley’s arm, stopping her from charging at Neville. “Let’s all sit down and have a rational conversation, weighing out the pros and cons of an alliance.” Riley and Neville both sat down and exchanged narrow glances. “Now Neville, since you have brought this proposal to the group, you will go first. Please explain to us your thought process on revisiting the alliance.”

Neville nodded and smirked at Riley. “It is clear that combining the financial security of Cordonia with the military strength of Auvernal would make us an unstoppable force. Besides, we need the extra protection given our country’s recent history.” He glared at Riley once again.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Riley huffed. 

“Look at the instability we have faced in recent years. Our crown prince abdicated, his successor, our current king, broke off a perfectly suitable engagement to marry a foreign commoner who was marred in scandal.”

“He released a statement that cleared that whole thing up. The scandal is irrelevant.” She could feel her cheeks heating up.

“Do you really think people stopped talking about it? You can’t really believe that it won’t be a part of your legacy as our Queen.” 

Riley slouched down in her seat. She knew she should remain composed, but bringing up the Tariq scandal hit a nerve that she didn’t know still existed. One of her biggest concerns in continuing her relationship with Liam, and accepting his proposal, was that his success as King would be overshadowed by the scandal she had faced. She had thought that after all these years, it would have been forgotten, but Neville bringing it up just brought everything back up and made her realize it would be something that was attached to her name forever. 

“Besides the personal problems our royal family has faced, there have been multiple attempts to overthrow them just within our own country. Sons of Earth, Duke Godfrey, Barthelemy Beaumont, just to name a few. Other countries are seeing this, and it won’t be long before they try to come for us as well.” Neville continued. 

“While I don’t agree with his delivery, Lord Neville does make some valid points.” Emmeline interjected, the rest of the room began murmuring in agreement. Riley couldn’t hide her shocked expression as she felt tears start to build up in her eyes. She blinked them away, she was not going to give them the satisfaction of seeing their queen cry. 

Eleanor took back control of the room before turning to Riley. “Riley, would you like to counter? You and Liam worked directly with Auvernal during the marriage alliance talks, you clearly have some insight that we may not be privy to.”

Riley took a deep breath to get her emotions under control before standing to address the room. “Aside from the fact that Bradshaw and Isabella are deplorable people with hell spawn children, the main reason that we decided an alliance was not in the best interest of Cordonia, was because it was clear that their interest was not an alliance, but a hostile takeover of our country.”

“Perhaps we would prosper under their rule. I haven’t heard of any coup attempts in Auvernal, it seems to me like they’re doing something right.” Neville spoke up. 

“So that’s it then? You all think Bradshaw and Isabella would do a better job as your king and queen, so I’m just supposed to convince Liam to relinquish the throne?” Riley threw her hands up in frustration and stepped away from the table. 

“Your majesty, we’re not making the final decision right here, right now, we just want to remain open to the idea and explore some options.” Emmeline tried to talk Riley down. “Perhaps you and King Liam could take a meeting with them, a friendly lunch maybe, just to open the lines of communication.”

“This is ridiculous. I can’t believe you all expect me to agree with this!” Riley was now pacing the room, overcome with a nervous energy.

Eleanor stood and lifted a hand to quiet the room. “Alright, that’s enough. I think we’ve gotten as far as we’re going to get with this conversation tonight. Dinner is being set out in the dining hall. I suggest we adjourn for the day. Let’s all compose ourselves and think about all sides of this conversation. We will pick up the conversation at the next meeting.”

As the members started filing out of the room, Eleanor approached Riley and gently placed her hand on her arm to keep her still. “Are you alright Riley?” 

Riley shrugged Eleanor’s hand off of her, anger clear on her face. “Of course I’m not alright. I basically just had a room full of my subjects telling me that my husband and I are doing a shitty job, and they think those monsters are better suited to look out for their best interests. Of course I’m not fucking alright!” Riley moves in closer, lowering her voice but not losing any of the anger in her tone. “I thought you were here doing this to protect Liam. Do you really think that this is protecting him? Handing his kingdom over to Auvernal?!”

“Riley, I always have Liam’s best interests at heart, I promise you that. Why don’t you head home, take a couple of days to relax and take everything in. I will set up a meeting for you and I later this week to talk about everything and work out a game plan.”

“Fine, I can’t stay here anymore anyway. And I definitely don’t have an appetite for dinner.” Riley walked out of the room, looking for Mara so that they could get back to the palace. She stepped into the dining area and saw Mara standing in the far corner talking to Neville. She clenched her jaw and took a deep breath before approaching the pair. “Mara, we will not be staying for dinner. We are returning to the palace immediately. I want to be home to put my daughter to bed.” She wasn’t going to give Neville the satisfaction of knowing she was leaving because of what he started. 

“Of course, your majesty.” Mara nodded and exited with Riley. 

The ride home was silent. In all the years that Mara had worked for Riley, she had never seen her this upset. She wasn’t entirely sure how to handle it, or what would be considered overstepping her duties, so she decided to stay quiet and let Riley speak, if she wanted to. She didn’t. 

They arrived at the palace and walked together to the royal quarters. As Riley placed her hand on the doorknob to enter, Mara cleared her throat to get her attention. “Your majesty, I know this was a difficult evening for you, but I do feel I need to remind you that discretion is key in the Via Imperii. His majesty cannot know what happened tonight. You will need to lock those feelings away for the time being.”

Riley pressed her lips into a thin line and nodded. She knew she was going to fall into Liam's arms and cry the second she saw him, and then she would tell him everything, but she couldn’t let Mara know that. “Liam and I will be staying in for the rest of the night. You are dismissed for the evening.” Riley walked into her quarters and shut the door before Mara had a chance to respond. 

As soon as she closed the door, she leaned back against it and dropped her head into her hands. Liam came walking into the room, the smile that appeared on his face when he heard the front door open quickly faded as he took in the sight of his wife sobbing at the front door. “Riley?” She looked up at him, tears streaming down her face as she tried to catch her breath. He rushed over to her and pulled her close, she buried her head in his chest as he stroked her hair and kissed the top of her head trying unsuccessfully to soothe her. “Shhhh, it’s alright love, I’m right here, I’ve got you. Tell me what happened.”

Riley could barely speak, but she slowly tried to explain everything that had happened that night. Liam walked her to the couch as she spoke, she needed to sit, anything to help her relax and calm down. He stared at her in disbelief as he listened to his wife tearfully recap her evening. 

On the other side of the door, Mara pulled her phone out of her jacket pocket, selecting one of the contacts and bringing the phone to her ear. “My lord, you were right. We will need to put your plan in motion.”

Permatag:

@anjanettexcordonia @athena-penrose @bbrandy2002 @chemist-ana​ @choicesficwriterscreations​ @choiceskatie​ @cordonia-gothqueen​ @cordoniaqueensworld​ @emkay512​ @gabesmommie1130​ @gkittylove99​ @hopelessromanticmonie​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ @jessiembruno​ @kat-tia801​ @khoicesbyk​ @kingliam2019​ @lucy-268​ @marshmallowsaremyfavorite​ @mile9213​ @mom2000aggie​ @pixie88​ @queenrileyrose​ @secretaryunpaid​ @sweatyrysconnoisseur​ @tessa-liam​ @theroyalheirshadowhunter​ @twinkleallnight​ @txemrn​

Sapere Aude:

@burnsoslow @busywoman @gardeningourmet @ofpixelsandscribbles

Liam x Riley:

@jared2612

Liam:

@amandablink @yourmajesty09

[rose7420]

Close Encounters

Hey!! For a story request, can you do one where Thor corners a tiny teen on the kitchen counter and Loki comes in because he hears Thor talking to someone? Once Loki sees that Thor is scaring a tiny mortal, his soft, protective side comes out and he pushes Thor away from the tiny and scoops them up, saying things to calm her down. Then Thor is kinda like “Well why do you get to hold her?” Thor goes to try and grab the tiny off of Loki, but Loki isn’t having it and starts fighting with Thor, all while the teen is clinging onto Loki’s shirt because she knows that Loki is protecting her. Loki just ends up teleporting to his room and apologizes to the teen for Thor’s actions and Loki can’t even get the teen to let go of her shirt cause she’s that scared😂🥺

This was a request from the talented @laurenandloki ! Hope you like it!

Y/N had super bad anxiety. Being a borrower she never had the proper amount of socialization and she always felt like an outsider when she would quietly observe humans from a distance. They never knew she was there, but it was nice to be in the company of another living creature. One that didn’t view her as food. She had only gotten caught spying once in her life, by none other than the God of Mischief himself. That was about a month ago and he had terrified her out of her wits when they first met, yet, she discovered he was a gentle person who cared immensely for others. However, she was still a borrower and he a human so there could be no sense of a friendship for them. And so she had retreated to live away on her own in the walls of the tower.

In the current moment she stood behind a container that held sugar, she would know since she had “borrowed” from it quite a few times. But today, she came needing other items that were a bit harder to retrieve. Magnets. It sounded bizarre, but they came in handy for scaling tall objects susceptible to the magnetic pull. Magnets were hard to get because they were stuck on the fridge(which was very tall), were half as big as her body, and extremely hard to pull off the fridge. She carried a coil of rope and a harness she had made herself and roped it around her body. Latching the hook attached to the end of the rope to the top of the fridge she, scaled down the side searching for a magnet that wouldn’t be missed. That was the thing about humans. When they lost something they blamed it on their own consciousness, not the doing of a two-inch tall chick who lived in the walls. She found the right one finally and made her way down to it. So focused in fact, that she didn’t even notice the vibrations of the gargantuan god of Thunder making his way to the fridge for his next snack of the day.

“What in the nine-realms are you little one?” A huge voice booms out, ringing Y/N’s ears and stilling her movements. She knows who it belongs to already, Thor. The god has a huge personality that matches his unwavering optimism. He is also very touchy as she has observed, which is why she is not at all prepared for what comes next. She forgets all about the magnet and tries to find a grip to haul herself up the fridge with.

“It’s not safe for you all the way up there, why it must be like a building up there.” Immediately, pressure is at her waist and enormous fingers lift her off the cool surface of the fridge. His powerful movements snap her rope, losing her only way of a safe escape.

His unshaven, but kind face fills her entire line of vision. The fingers still hold her waist and his eyes search her form intently. There are too many sensations around her and her mind is overwhelmed.

Breathing becomes difficult, her sight becomes a dark tunnel and lightheadedness is all she can feel. Thor is too busy filling his curiosity to notice the panic-attack she is currently having.

“Are you ill tiny one?” Thor questions but Y/N has not the mind to answer his question. Also believing that the answer is pretty obvious.

“Brother, what do you have there?” Thor swings around, facing the owner of the voice. The motion makes Y/N even sicker to her stomach. She however does recognize the person’s voice. Loki.

Suddenly she feels even dizzier, looking up she sees she is being passed around like a toy as Loki now has her in his grasp. She lays down on the surface of his palm relishing the feeling of having some sort of control over her body. Breathing becomes easier, not as if she is inhaling through a straw and her vision is no longer blurred as she can see clearly. She glances around at her surroundings and sees she is held up to a black, soft, and cotton wall. Loki’s chest. His breaths shift her up and down, yet, the movement is comforting. She finds herself fisting his shirt with her small hands trying to burrow her body further into his chest. A loud yell causes her to jump out of her skin and cling to Loki even tighter.

“Give her here brother, I am in no mood for your tricks!” Thor exclaims loudly, hurting Y/N’s ears.

“You were frightening her Thor. Just look at her.” The comforting darkness she was kept in for a brief amount of time vanished as Loki removes his other shielding hand to reveal her to Thor. Thor bends to her level looking her directly in the eyes. Anxiety spikes in her veins again sending an uncomfortable jolt of panic in her stomach and a tightness in her chest. She whimpers audibly and turns her face to Loki’s chest once again. Why must everything be so scary? She thinks to herself.

A soothing motion upon her back takes her out of her panicking thoughts. Her face leaves Loki’s shirt and sees that he is rubbing her back with a single finger. And that she had been transported to Loki’s bedroom.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Loki couldn't stand seeing this small being panicking anymore. He remembered seeing the small one earlier before and letting her be, but today when she had been so vulnerable in front of his oaf for a brother, he couldn’t just stand by and watch. It was obvious that the small one was terror-struck by the presence of larger beings as himself. So he had teleported to his room to calm her down. Her entire body clung to his shirt like a lifeline and he had tried to pry her off his chest but she held strong, not willing to leave him just yet. He stopped trying to force her off him, afraid her tiny arms would break at his immense strength. Instead, he rubbed her back in soothing circles with the tip of his finger. He awed at the size difference. His entire finger dwarfed her body, it took not even a slight bend of his finger to caress her back. He shuddered at the fragility of this tiny being.

Not to mention she had put her trust in him to protect her from Thor. Even though he knew Thor was probably the only person on this earth that you would never need protection from because of his kind, generous heart. Sometimes his brother came off too strong to those he showed an intense interest with. And to this small girl, he would imagine the interaction between Thor and her would be very intense from her perspective.

Once the girl realized she was in no danger she slowly released herself from his person. He slowly raised her to his eye-level taking in the rare sight of an actual borrower. Loki had read about them in informational books on Asgard, there were not many factual books here on Earth, but they had plenty of fictional ones. From what he read, borrowers were on average around the height of three to four inches. But this girl seemed to be barely clearing two and a half. She was exceptionally small and this caused him to be even more cautious as he bore her in a palm.

She perched on her hands and knees, staring at him with big, round (Y/E/C) eyes. He had to practically bring her right on top of his nose to see her properly. He felt her anxiety rising under his close inspection and he lowered her down to his bedside table, kneeling to see her better. Awkwardness lingered at first but Loki broke the silence.

“Your exceptionally small, little one. What shall I call you?”

He watched her face scrunch up in anger, not responding to his question.

“Hmmm, let’s see… I can call you little one, of course, Thumbelina, Bite-Size, or-”

“Okay! Stop, just stop, call me Y/N.”She said with her arms crossed over her chest trying to be intimidating but failing.

“Y/N, what a delightful name. Are you alright now? I apologize for my brother’s actions.” Loki said being serious now.

Y/N nodded her head, “Y-yeah I’m okay now. I have really b-bad anxiety.” She admitted.

Loki smiled reassuringly, “I promise you to have nothing to fear from me or my brother.”

“Would you like me to assist you back to your quarters Y/N?”

“A-actually could I hang out with you for a little bit. I-I don’t really have many friends and I find your company...tolerable.” Y/N said with a bit of hesitation.

Loki laughed at her remark, “Just tolerable huh? Well, I must tell you that I find your company rather tolerable too Thumbelina.” He retorted with a smirk.

Y/N blushed and grinned, he offered a helpful palm to boost her to his shoulder.

“What should we do?” Loki asked.

“I don’t know, what do you have in mind?” Y/N asked, taking a comfortable seat where the dip in his collarbone lay.

Her little body tickled his neck and Loki laughed once again responding with, “I have a perfect idea,” with mischief coating his voice.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N watched with fascination as Loki illusioned a snake out of thin air. Snakes did terrify her as a borrower, but way up on Loki’s shoulder she had no fear of the serpent on the ground. Loki’s shoulder was pretty comfortable, she clung to his neck and could feel every movement that he made, and his voice thundered through her when he spoke even in a whisper. They were waiting for someone to walk and spot the snake. Finally, a passerby came, one she recognized to be Peter. As he walked he immediately spotted the snake and screamed loudly running away. Loki almost doubled over in laughter as did Y/N. He cupped her in his hands, holding her safely in his embrace. Y/N couldn't stop smiling for another reason. She had finally found a friend.

[winterwolf0916]

𝗙𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗶𝗮𝗿

Jason Todd x Tamaran! Reader

Requested by anon: Hiya! I love your blog so much, and I just was wondering, if you're taking requests right now, could I request some Jason Todd x a Tamaranean reader? Like maybe she stowed away to earth when Kory made a trip to Tamaran and she's really cute and sweet and enthusiastic and fun and she had no family back home so Kory's like yeah alright you can be my sidekick and she has to get used to life on earth and meets Jason as Robin and they become friends to lovers to oh no he fuckin dead to lovers again?

Warning: Fluff, Angst, Language, Mentions of Death, Slow Burn & oh! did I mention fluff?

A/n: My heart... Also, I pray and hope you enjoy this one, love. This took me a while to finish but I got it done and I got carried away it. I wont lie, my writing isn’t the best but I hope this is something you what wanted or close to it.

Word Count: 3K 

Kori loves your company

You were like the little sister she never had

A better sister than Blackfire of course 

When she brought you to earth you were so amazed at everything

It looks so lively and green.

Flying around and feeling the cool waters from the ocean, the beautiful smell of the flowers and pines from the trees, and the shiny reflection on the buildings.

As Kori was going to take a visit to the cave to see Dick for a mission, she brought you along for an introduction.

He looked scary once you were brought inside.

“Kori! So nice to see you again. Oh, who’s this?” Dick glanced at your direction as you hid behind her like a scared kitten. 

“Ah, this is Y/n L/n. A Tamaranean like me.”

“Hello y/n. I’m Nightwing.” You were mostly afraid of the masks because you haven’t seen anyone like him with that sort. 

Dick noticed your fear then he took it off, causing you to relax a little, and shook your hand. “It’s so nice to have you on Earth.” You only nodded your head with a small smile. But there was a large slam of a door and stomping onto the stairs.

“Son of a bitch! Son a crusty no good bitch!” 

“Jason. We have guests.” This… ‘Jason’ took a glance at their direction before giving a frown. Once again, you hid your figure behind Kori’s, scared onto the boy

Dick apologized to the two of you and went off to lecture his younger brother. 

Kori only sighed and notified you that this was normal of him before Dick came back.

“Don’t worry about him, he’s just having another rough day with our dad. Jason please come greet them!” He rounded a corner with his mask on and his suit with an imprinted R. 

“Robin. Pleased to meet you.” He sounded so irritated that he wanted this introduction to be over with.

Still in uneasiness with the mask, Dick quickly nudged his younger brother urging him to take it off.

Jason didn’t. 

He just walked past you guys and left the cave on his motorbike.

Oh how much ass whopping he’s gonna get from Dick.

The second encounter happened at the Titans tower.

You finally learned how to control your powers and perform such combat ability that you never knew you could do.

Dick and Kori were like parents in the Tower.

You really loved the Titans

Raven may be dark but you both have such a strong friendship due to your trauma back in Tamaran and hers with her father

You suffered from a torturous experiment that left you with very similar yet slightly different powers than Kori. 

Also you both love books

Garth always makes you laugh. 

When training he turns into a gorilla to lift a good 3000 pounds while you could lift a good 70 tons making him go EEK!

He would make very disappointing puns but it always amuses you while everyone cringes at the dinner table.

Cyborg is like an older brother to you. 

You would sometimes help him with the mechanics and lift heavy parts around while he rants about his day and he would also cheer for you when you’re sparring

They were the closest friends while the rest of the members adore you and your sweet personality

But when Jason came along with Dick for a small mission for a few weeks, you immediately locked yourself in your room.

The Titans were concerned 

You were so marvelous and bubbly to all guests. Even to the infamous Batman!

Did the small bastard do something to make you like this?

Planning murder

But Dick and Kori knew why

After a lecture with the boy, Jason came by your dorm at night, still in uniform, knocking on your door, you didn’t open up, only listened from the inside

“I’m sorry.” It wasn’t sincere really. “I know we started off on the wrong foot, um…” his hand went through his hair in frustration that he needed to do this. “Since we're working together, we’re going to need to become trusting of one another….I’ll...see you tomorrow I guess.” That was awkward of him.

As footsteps faded down the hallway, you started to give a small smile.

You start to warm up to him.

But when he starts doing the little things, the two of you grew a bond. 

By little things, I mean correcting your moves when sparring, telling you stories of his previous missions, listening to you, exposing embarrassing stories about Dick, bringing you your favorite meals in a large amount because you’re a big eater, and lots of others.

When you first saw him without his mask, you were floating above him, pulling his face closer to yours while admiring the beautiful color of his eyes. 

“Your eyes are the most gorgeous color I’ve seen here on Earth.” 

Oh how your face fell when he had to leave. 

Don’t get me started with Jason, he began to be more hostile when sparring with others

There was a time when he took out his feelings on a sand bag while Garth and Cyborg were questioning what that bag ever did to him.

Of course the ‘parents’ took notice of this and Dick would purposely bring you to the cave or Jason to the tower.

The two of you have such a friendship that you would sometimes prank one another yet enjoy each other's silence.

Carnivals or nights out in the city were always a blast.

Whenever the two of you would see each other, you would fly to him in a swift manner that he would sometimes stumble back to regain balance from the impact. 

Soon, a single touch from him exchanging a book to you, caused you to feel such an electric current.

His smile and laughter made your heart paced faster than the speed of light

His cocky attitude and sweet side made your nine stomachs filled with butterflies.

You panicked and told Kori about it while she was sitting on her couch smiling as you explained.

“You like him y/n.” “Well of course! He’s my friend isn’t he?” “Oh dear, you’ll need to sit down for this.”

Wait, there is a different emotion called attraction?

AND IT DOESN’T STOP?

The more time you’ve spent with Jason, the more your ‘attraction’ feels stronger.

You would sometimes daydream the two of you blossoming into a relationship like Dick and Kori.

“Did you hear that Kori and Dick broke up again?” Raven stated before taking a sip of her tea. “What is this, ‘breaking up’ ?” you asked with curiosity yet wonder about this new term

When Raven sighed and gave details about it, you were 100x more terrified about the idea of a relationship

What if you and Jason will experience the same if you both ever become a couple?

You tried to distract the feeling of disheartenment with your enthusiasm

But of course, the feeling always returns

Your legs were pressed to your chest as you gaze at the ocean and it’s crystal shimmers of the moonlight, still in thought about your feelings. Jason found you on the rooftop of the tower since he figured something was wrong for the past week

As he questioned it, you asked, “Jason have you ever liked a girl that is a friend?” His foot on the edge of the building nearly slipped once you asked.

“I mean...yeah, there are times when I really liked her.” 

“Do you still have feelings for one?”

“Very.” 

“Really!? Who?” You were excited but felt such pain in your heart.

This boy choked onto her request. But he spoke, spoke about this ‘mystery’ girl. How adorable she is and brightening everyone’s day when it has been horrid, including his own. How he admires her caring behavior whenever someone was hurt. He really likes her and would like to take her out one day. 

“Her name is Y/n.” 

“What a wonderful name she has.”

“You do know I was talking about you, right?” 

“Yes yes, she does have- wait what?” 

Dreamy sigh

Ah yes

Young love

Kori wasn’t all surprised as she and Dick saw the two of you were walking in the streets of the city, hand in hand. She was delighted.

Dick was thrilled to see the two together yet gave Jason, the talk, if he ever does something stupid to you

The Titans congratulated the two and some exchanged money with one another after losing a bet

After a couple of months, Jason had to leave for a classified mission that’ll last a couple of weeks. 

As he said his goodbyes, you gave a kiss to his cheek before rushing back inside and leaving him smiling to himself.

It was lonely for the past couple of weeks but the worst part was when it turned to a few months.

Dick headed to Gotham four weeks after Jason left.

You were frightened about your boyfriend’s well being

As Dick returns to the tower, he doesn’t look the same.

You thought he was acting in such a behavior to surprise you that Jason is back.

“Y/n...we need to talk.”

 “Ok?” Kori gave a concerned glance at Dick’s direction, clearly unsure of how you’ll take the announcements. “What? Why are you both so silent? Please tell me.” You have had such a glowing smile, ready to hear it. The prank.

“Look, I know you and Jason are in a relationship but I have some...news.” 

“I’m listening.” Your foot tapped in excitement while Dick grew uneasy.

“Four...four weeks ago, we located Jason in an abandoned warehouse. He was held captive there for God knows how long by the Joker. And, as Bruce headed to rescue him…” you wanted to laugh at how far Dick was taking this. 

Except, he wasn’t pretending

“...He was too late. The warehouse exploded and my... Jason...passed away. I’m so sorry Y/n.” He added. You clapped your hands and giggled

“Amazing job! Brava! What an incredible and creative prank Dick. Very impressive. Now where is he so I can finally owe him a real kiss.”

The adults were silent. You took their silence as part of the prank and rushed to the bottom of the tower to find him.

But he wasn’t there. 

“Ok I checked the 50 floors below us but don’t worry, I bet he’s on the roof. He’s always there.” You returned to the room where Kori and Dick sat you in.

“This isn’t made up.” Raven and a few others entered the room, you could see it in their eyes they weren’t faking but you still denied it. “He passed away y/n.”

“No he didn't...He isn’t...Jason! You can come out now! Jason?” You flew to the roof. 

As you searched and it was empty that was when your stomach dropped. 

“Jason!” You flew around the area. The more you searched, the heavier your heart became. As you landed on the roof and heard the doors open, you glided to Dick. “Where is he?”

“I’m sorry.”

“No…no no... this is a game, right? When I check the floors again he’ll be there, right?... Dick?” He pulled your hand and placed something on your palm.

“He’s gone Y/n. I’m so...so sorry.” Glancing to the object placed on your palm, your entire being froze at the sight. 

From what you’re told, the R emblem is one of the only parts that are the easiest to clean and the least damaged on Jason’s suit after all of his missions.

What Dick gave you was the exact emblem but it was badly dented, burnt marks covered the R, scratch marks on the front and back while most of the edges are chipped.

Your legs gave weight as you fell to the floor, holding his badge close to your chest, and screamed your lungs out. Your vocals were so powerful that they made half of the windows on the Tower shatter. Tears made their way down from your cheeks to the floor as your eyes turned in a y/f/c glow. 

You flew off, for time alone to grieve it all. When Kori found you, you broke down even harder in her arms

You weren’t going to turn to revenge.

Even though you saw it in Dick and a few others, you couldn’t.

Kori taught you revenge isn’t the answer along with the new Robin or better known as Tim drake

You weren’t happy Jason was replaced but continued with your bright personality.

But during the nights, you felt so empty and numb. 

Why 

Out of all people, why did Jason leave you

Your family and friends died due to the violence of the leaders that experimented on you.

But now the person you loved most?

More pain was placed on your shoulders.

You grieved and mourned whenever you’re alone or with Kori. 

Two months later, you decided to explore the world on your own. 

Saving Earth, countries, and other planets from danger. 

Yet discovering the beauty onto nearly every destination

This continued for four years before you were called to Gotham for a meeting.

You greeted the Titans, other heroes you’ve met during your travels, and the bat family before the meeting starts

When it was over, you felt someone’s eyes on you.

As you located the orbs burning on your figure, you found a man with extreme built, a red helmet covering his entire head, a scarlet colored bat emblem imprinted on his black suit, and a coffee leather jacket.

You were confused as to why his eyes were wide and his body leaned forward as if he had found gold.

“Kori, why is he staring over here? Do I have something in my hair?” As your beloved best friend glanced at the man you were referring to, she let out a pearly smile.

“I think he likes you.” She snickered as you rolled your eyes. 

In the past, some of your friends tried to set you up with many men. Key word: tried. It’s not that you didn’t want to, it just didn’t feel right. You did try to fall for them but it just doesn’t last. 

“Very funny.”

“I’m not joking. He’s looking at you like, in slang terms, a ‘snack’.” You chuckled at her before returning your gaze to the mystery man. But the color of his helmet was not present to your sight, instead, the sight of an exit door closing.

You saw him once again during a mission on a tropical island.

Someone was making hybrids based on DNA from different heroes around the world.

So here you were… 

Approaching the scene as the infamous Red Hood was getting choked by a 9 foot tall creature before you scared it off with a blast of your powers.

“Need a hand, big boy?” You reached out your arm, waiting for him to take it. He was hesitant.

“...Sure.” He took it and you couldn’t help but feel slightly surprised of how tall he was

As you found Kori and gave her a hug, you joined the team till the mission finished.

You really loved being in the group. 

But mostly enjoyed the company of Red Hood.

There was something about him that made you smile warmly as he progressed with his idiotic plan

Kori and Roy offered for you to be an Outlaw and you gladly accepted

But the third member wasn’t all too happy about it.

The four of you all reserved an Overwater Bungalow resort on the island

A week later, you heard arguing from Kori’s home while you and Roy brought food.

“I don’t understand you, why won’t you tell her already?” Her voice muffled by the walls of the hut.

“She’s not ready.” His voice in the room as well

“Y/n has been far too ready to know who you really are.” You haven’t heard Kori this angry in ages and what did they mean about you knowing?

“You don’t understand.”

“Oh I understand plenty,” You and the red head’s eyes widen at her sass. “How long can you keep this act up? This, I want to hide this because I want to protect her, act? Your brother used that on me a few times, hmph, always knows when to make a woman angry.”

Brother? But the only brother you know she dated was-

“Don’t compare me to Dick, Kori.”

Oh...Shit…

Roy put two and two together and oh shit! He remembered his best friend mentioning a girl before his sudden death. Roy glanced at you as your eyes were wide and glossy at the truth. He kicked the door open causing the two heads to turn while you were hidden outside of the hut with your head down.

How could you not notice it before… Red Hood not revealing himself under the helmet when he was in legit trunks, constantly putting distance between the two of you, displeased when you joined the outlaws, and the worried glances between him and Kori!

“Got the food!” As Roy set the meals down and you entered the room, the air was so intense you could cut it with a knife.

“I’m not that hungry so I’m going to my room.” Kori glared at the helmet man, causing him to release a sigh.

“Do you-”

“Perfect! Now take these,” Roy gave a bag of two take outs to him and led the unresolved pair outside. “Have a good night.” He shut the door closed leaving you and the vigilante in silence.

“I can take the bag.”

“You sure?” 

“Yes.”

It was so awkward the walk back to your huts.

He tries to make the situation lighter but it was no use.

All of that pain you felt years ago, returned and after realizing who he is...It felt so much worse.

“Hey y/n, do you want to know the story of my first kiss?” What is he trying to do now?

“That's pretty sweet! Random but sweet! Go on.” He paused in place under a shadow of a hut as a thick cloud covered the sun. His hand traveled to the back of his helmet and a sudden click was heard before steam escaped from the open cracks of his mask. It was dark and you couldn’t see his full features.

“It was a normal day, I was carrying some groceries with my butler but got lost in the crowd due to my sleep deprivation. And the craziest thing happened when I was struggling to find him, a cute y/h/c girl with bright y/e/c eyes came up to me and spoke a language I’ve never heard in my life. So I tried to understand her words but I was so clueless before she pulled my face and gave me a smooch.” Your stomach did a flip as you realized why the story was so familiar to you. “She apologized when she was done but spoke english. As she left me there completely bamboozled… I wondered, ‘I don’t know what the hell that was about but will I see her again?’ then my butler found me.”

It's a memory. Your memory and his. You dropped the bag.

“Jason.” As the darkness unsheathed and the sun’s light was visible, he took a couple of steps towards you and gosh… You didn’t realize how much you missed him when your eyes began to sting, shoulders dropped, and your bottom lip shaking.

You took flight and bolted in his arms. 

“It’s you… it's really...you asshole.” you shoved him lightly while Jason expected the worst. “Asshole. Asshole. Asshole!” Every curse is a light punch on his chest. 

“Easy...Easy!” He held your two hands by the wrists. “When did you learn how to curse?!”

“When you were dead!” Your eyes were covered by your signature y/f/c glow and tears streamed down your face.

“Calm down.”

“Calm down? I may be an alien and I may be nice, but I have feelings too. Feelings when we shared that first kiss, held hands, waiting for you to come back...hearing that awful news about you…” Your arms dropped and your head lowered. “And I’m feeling angry at you right now for not saying anything!” 

In all honesty, he really wanted to tell you. But he didn’t know how you would take it. He's not the exactly the same when he was a teenager and he’s been through so much as Red Hood that he doesn’t want the bad guys to target you and your superhuman abilities. But his feelings for you didn’t shrink a single centimeter. It grew. Grew that he was so close to return to you and kiss you like there is no tomorrow. 

“Didn’t...Haven’t you felt the same of how I felt for you, Jason? Did you hate me that much to leave me and start a new life? To get away from me?” You questioned as the glow in your eyes dimmed down to your y/c/e orbs but your water works didn’t stop. You were still shaking, thinking of how Jason never loved you. How he made you feel pain for years. 

He made you feel like a human. Being an alien on Earth was quite lonely. But Kori was there with you through it all. But when Jason, a human, made you feel like you’re a human… You didn’t care about the negativity as much, you focused onto the positives. You discovered things about yourself from a different perspective. You learned how to love.

A warm embrace and the sun falling behind the horizon made your entire being warmer than the heat of the light beams. Your fingers trailed under his jacket to feel his body heat.

“Not even close.” He pulled a little before resting his forehead on yours. “It was the opposite and more. I just didn’t want you to see me in my dark life. I died and came back from the dead, every minute feeling empty. But once I learned more about myself, I wanted to change for the better. But I made so many rough decisions, that I couldn’t come back to you yet until I fixed them. I didn’t want you to love a mistake.”

“Shhh.” You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, running your fingers through his hair. “You’re never a mistake, only a good man who tried his best. The only thing that matters now, is that you’re here.” His teal orbs flickered to yours, your heart skipping a beat by the sight of your favorite colored eyes once again.

The sun was engulfed, the light dimmed till the sky was navy, and the stars were sprinkled all around the two silhouettes under the moon. The lock of your lips to his were the answer to your reunion.