#this is why i only follow like 5 people
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Hey everything is getting so crazy and infuriating so I'm making a lot of posts about gentile antisemitism and I just wanted to say that to my like 5 or 6 gentile followers who actually reblog this stuff despite the inevitable backlash and ostracization that comes with being associated with Jews nowadays, I see it and I really really really REALLY appreciate it. Beyond what I can really articulate.
#Sorry this is dramatic but I'm emotional#Seeing literal honest to god porgroms getting justified in the mainstream narrative or just politely ignored#I think it's becoming clearer and clearer why there were so few righteous among nations during the Holocaust#And it's becoming clear who's actually willing to stick to their principles and stick their necks out about it when it means actually#Going against the social approval of one's peers#Sometimes I wonder why I still have so many followers after I shifted from a Fandom blog to 100% only talking about antisemitism#Bc I would have expected to lose most of my followers. Esp because it's not like anything I post or reblog gets almost any interaction#From my gentile followers. It's just jews and those 5 or 6 gentiles.#Yet I haven't lost thousands of followers. I've actually gained. And anything I reblog that's NOT about antisemitism gets like 30 notes imm#From random people who haven't interacted with anything else in a year. And I'm like.?? Why are you guys still here?#Don't you see that all I post about anymore is antisemitism? If you're not gonna care why not unfollow or block me?#I try to think maybe it's because some people want to hear about this and actually do see what's happening and the crazy antisemitism that'#Become normal. But they're scared of getting ostracized so they don't reblog but also dont unfollow. They never interact they just lurk#Maybe? I can hope. But either way. Those people if they exist when it comes down to it aren't willing to actually stick their necks out#So for the handful of gentiles that are. Yeah I definitely notice. Thank you.
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contemplating deleting my blog soon I might make a new blog but idk
#.bdo#i just need to work on some insecurity issues is all. been on a long self journey this year#can't shake the feeling that every time i say anything it's wrong somehow#and there is some reality to that. i have been wrong several times I've even been downright mean to people over misunderstandings#i just haven't been able to break out of the habit of feeling permanently embarrassed about every small mistake I've ever made#& old insecurities from my childhood are resurfacing#like when i was a kid/teen and no one would ever tell me when i was breaking social cues but they'd make fun of me behind my back#i have 3200 followers and most of my posts get 0 notes sometimes i get 1-5 so it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong#i end up deleting a lot of them...#almost every post of mine that's gone viral was just a screenshot or picture saved from somewhere else....#and the times that i have gotten attention over a post that stands up for people who aren't like me it makes me terrified#that i look like i'm trying to play a savior role or like i'm virtue signaling#i have a few good mutuals who i love so much and that's why I'm still here#it's also the only social media i use currently#but it does really hurt when i put a lot of thought into something like spending hours making a funny meme or a thoughtful post#just to find out that the only people who find them interesting is my extremely small circle on here if anyone at all#it's so dumb i shouldn't be feeling like this over fucking numbers....it's not even real#i find a little bit of (petty) solace in the fact that there are people on here who are loudly and repeatedly saying way more embarrassing#shit than I've ever said#but even then when i know someone is absolutely wrong it makes me feel nervous like what if im the next person to fuck up that bad#and i find out through public ridicule#well that actually kinda did happen on here once but not on that scale#last year i sent someone something i thought was funny and they sent back an 'ok'#and then immediately made a huge long post about how you shouldn't talk to strangers like you're already friends#called it parasocial behavior...got tens of thousands of notes and i knew it was about me...#i wholeheartedly agree some people go too far with parasocial behavior but i never fully understood what part of what i said/did was wrong#and i went back to feeling like the kid who never found out they were doing something wrong until they heard that they got made fun of#i don't even attempt to make new friends on my own on here anymore because i'm terrified of that happening again#almost all of the people I've become friends with on here came to me first and i love and appreciate them for that#but even then i feel too nervous to socialize that often bc i never find out/realize that i fuck up until later on
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not me lying wide awake at 5:30am on a sunday on my day off bc after almost a full year I finally FINALLY realized the implication of the end of remember them from the cyclops saga
#that song has one of the most powerful ending crescendo sequences ive heard in maybe all of musical theater#so it. always felt incomplete after ALL that buildup during the I AM THE INFAMOOOUS#only to just drop to SILENCE. no music. no fanfare. just ODYSSEUS!#he doesnt even really sing it he just sort of... shouts it#and then its followed by the faintest sound of ocean waves#its poseidon. listening. THATS why athena said DONT#poseidon heard that declaration and came back to get him later#😬#i just looked up the lyrics for ruthlessness too and poseidon basically spells it out 😂#ive only listened to that song once or twice tho and i guess i wasnt too focused on the words#anyway i relistened to the songs on friday and theyve been rotating in my mind like a 7/11 hotdog#the whole cyclops saga especially is just.... so so good#they truly dont make music about bashing peoples heads in like they used to#the first 3 songs of the saga especially... oof#how they blend one into the other back to back and end up making like a 10 minute narration of events#the whole thing is so bone chilling#it gets my heartrate up lol#PLUS the theme of pain and vengeance bring more pain#EVERY time polyphemus says 'what gives you a right to deal a pain so deep'#and when odysseus says 'what good would killing do when mercy is a skill more of the world could learn to use'#rocking back and forth sobbing crying#remember them the next time that you DARE choose not to spare! remember them... remember us... remember me!#cant wait for everyone to turn their back on this musical in 5 yrs#like they did with hamilto.n#hamilto.n never stopped being good actually#yall are just embarrassed about being weird fanatics over people who rly existed
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#saw a reply to a post that was like#websites only have apps to get more ad revenue out of you#and like. what i had to say about this wasn't the point of the original post so I'm making my own#but Reddit's mobile site used to be perfectly good and engaging#now it's changed layouts and stuff and it looks like the app. which we despise and hate and find unintuitive and user-unfriendly#which means what in practice? we're not using the app we hate it. we're just not on Reddit if we're not on the computer (old Reddit beloved#but it's not losing them ad revenue because we use an ad blocker so they probably don't give a shit either way#:/#saltposting#actually ETA I think a lot of things we hate about the Internet under late stage capitalism is. why does everything have to change layouts#all the time#for no good reason#like if it works there's no need to fix it#but nooo endless growth blah blah blah maximise user engagement blah blah blah money etc#how about retain the users you already have by remaining what they liked about you in the first place. ever think about stability?#there is a reason why we have autoupdates turned off on our phone and there's like 5 apps that are FORBIDDEN to update#Tumblr because we don't like the overhauls to the notes section (the ones where they're coloured differently based on read/unread#instead of on people you follow/don't follow)#Discord because the new layout looks like absolute shit and having DMs separate from servers would be hell for our processing#and ability to respond to both#our red filter app because it's gonna stop filtering wallpaper to comply with Android regulations and that's a no from us#are the main three but I think there might be others I'm not thinking of#anyway. yeah#I wish for predictable apps that don't suddenly throw new layouts at you every time you've finally gotten used to the last change#I don't wanna be kept on my toes real life does enough of that. I want to have a stable anything in my life is this too much to ask for
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#i regret ever joining the silmarillion fandom....#it has become nothing but a source of pain and frustration to me#it is a place for people who only like certain characters but not others#and i am so so SO freakin' tired of all the horrible takes on feanor especially in regards to his family situation#amongst other horrible takes on him of which there are plenty#now i understand why so many of the people i used to follow 5-6 years ago have deactivated their accounts and left the fandom#at some point you just give up for the sake of your own mental health#i will reblog the posts i have liked so far and after that i am done with it#DONE for good#i will never stop loving feanor for he will forever remain one my favourite literary characters#i will just stop dealing with other people's insufferable edgy hot takes#i will find other things to enjoy and be happy#personal
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Not some people in the quotes coming at Tobin for re-inc prices + being jobless lmao. Honestly I knew their were going to be tweets about re-inc as soon as I saw her tweet. She didn’t really read the room on that one even if what’s she’s saying is true tbh.
Do people really not understand the difference between Tobin making luxury items and streaming services highjacking accessibility?
Last time i checked there are more clothes to buy in the world than those that RE make. It's a choice to buy those products and if you think they are too expensive there are cheaper alternatives. There is no cheaper alternative to a streaming service because they have claimed the exclusive rights.
With the bidding wars going on you need subscriptions to all the different streaming platforms even if you only follow one team or country. Let alone if you want to follow a sport as a whole and not just a team. If i want to watch women's football over here i need to pay at least 25 euro's a month for ESPN and Ziggo and then i probably still need multiple other subscriptions for international matches from countries other than the Dutch.
Not to mention that i also watch F1 which adds another 16 euro's a month to my total.
She's is right and she did read the room, people need to stop comparing things that aren't comparable.
#ask#tobin heath#re-inc#do people not want people who make more money than they do stand up to say prices are getting ridiculous?#good luck fighting that battle on your own with your 5 followers dude#People wonder why i am dodgy link fc and this is the reason#i outright refuse to pay for streaming services like this because i know the money ends up in the wrong pockets#the only streaming platform i have ever paid for was the WNBA league pass because it was reasonable and player driven
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Are the bots advancing??? Why do they have profile pictures?? Why do they have quirky phrases in their bio?? Why do they POST?! They gotta be fake because why did I just get a random surge in followers?? Why did I get no notifications when they started following me?? WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE. HOW DO I KNOW YOU'RE REAL?
#I THINK I HAVE BLOCKED OVER 200 ACCOUNTS AT THIS POINT#tumblr bullshit#tumblr bots#some of them have cartoon/ video game/ anime character profile pics#but they just seem fake??#like some only follow like 5 people and one of them is me like??#that just doesn't make sense to me???#why would someone follow me but not like any of my posts?#I do wonder if I blocked a real person by accident
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sometimes i’ll randomly remember someone from primary school and go and see what they’re up to and today’s guy is now working as a child & adolescent psychologist with explicit mention of working with trans kids
#obviously people do the things they want but i also want to say. my influence………#like at my year 12 formal there were some guys from primary school there as some of the girls’ dates and they came and said hi and congrats#i realise not everyone has been here following my entire life story for the last decade#but i came out in the last week of school and then we had the hsc (end of school exams) and then we had formal so that’s the timeline#i don’t think this guy was there but everyone from primary school knows about me#anyway. good for him. i still feel kinda bad about not going to a dance thing in year 5 where we were supposed to be partners#(i was thinking about that because i was remembering times teachers have got mad at me)#(like jeez sorry for not going to every single event outside of school hours)#(anyway that’s why i looked him up. sweet kid. kinda awkward and unpopular. also probably had a crush on me)#primary school was a weird time for me socially because i was heavily bullied#but also very much ‘friends with everyone’. i could get along with anyone basically. which is still true#plus i was smart so the boys either hated me because they didn’t like it when girls were smarter than them—#OR i was one of the only girls they got along with. a few had crushes on me and they came from BOTH categories. yeesh#this is the biggest tangent of my life sorry. glad this guy is doing cool things. i only knew him until we were 12 but it suits him i think#personal
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Thinking about how the official White Fang uniform is red, white, and black, but Yang is the one to help Blake end racism 🙃🙃🙃
#rwde#first i wanna know who actually makes these clothes. are they tailored for every fang or mass produced?#where are yall getting the resources? why do yall even need a uniform? wouldn't a logo bandana or smth suffice?#id love a pair of white fang socks ngl#but anyway gr8 to see that the color show is following up on its color symbolisms and foreshadowings#love that yang literally never gives a shit abt the plight of the faunus even when shes iN lOvE w one#and that she only knows adams name from a news reel but acts like she knows all his dirty laundry the one time they actually talk#and she doesnt even say smth like 'fuck you for taking my arm what the shit was that abt??'#like id personally like to know why some random jackass decided that i should lose 10 lbs in 10 seconds but whatever#you do you Yang#but straight up i dont think ruby even knows abt adams existence#blake mentions him by name at mt glenn but ruby was on watch and not part of the conversation#only yang saw the news abt adam being at beacon#and only blake sun and yang ever fight the guy#RUBY CANONICALLY DOES NOT KNOW ABOUT ADAM TAURUS#man it sure would be a bummer if in an au adam and ruby had met in mistral and hit it off and ruby accidentally helped deradicalize adam#and neither of them know exactly how closely entwined their mutual people are so when the others find out all hell breaks loose#god i wish i could work on ohar but my trilogy has already expanded into 5 installments#plus the essay im currently dying over#guys i need an intervention send help lol
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I have been. Struggling w tumblr lately and i am trying to work out Why bc this hobby means 2 much for me to let it fizzle out
#i have muse. i love these characters and i want to write them.#i talk ab them and scenarios all the time. what is the issue#i mean the issue is the actually writing part motivation is low#but i also think its just like. idk i feel like the rpc as a whole has changed and become. less of a community?#like finding new people to write with is so difficult bc no one talks to anyone new anymore#and starting to talk to new people feels so much harder than it used to and getting engagement is impossible#like i have a group of 5-10 people who r constantly showing up constantly trying and i love that i love you#but thats. thats such a small fraction of my mutuals. like whats the. why arent my mutuals willing to interact w me#like is this a me thing. is this happening to everyone or is it specifically something i need to work on#its so much worse on my other blogs its a vicious cycle of not writing bc theres no one to write w but no one new coming bc u dont write#its just. wheres the community gone#like i have over 300 followers. why do only 5 people want to talk to me
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#people will cheer about how others should set boundaries and uphold them for their own well-being#until those boundaries prevent them from getting what they want from you#I have to constantly beg people not to use this OC blog as an aesthetic resource blog for their own OC blogs#It's a roleplay blog - which means it is effectively a scrapbook for *my* OC - and a place for people who want to interact with me/my OC#it is NOT a place for complete strangers who have no interest in the OC to come and shop for their OC's aesthetic#but people get SO MAD when you tell them you have this one and only boundary that is 'please don't use me like an object'#is it so much to ask that people who follow an RP blog actually interact with that OC?#why else would you follow an OC's blog if you aren't interested in interacting with them as a character?#anyways it's always a bummer to come across an OC blog I like that has blocked me because I insisted they not use my blog as a resource#just go follow the same resource blogs your favs do if you really don't want to interact with their OC - but you really like their aestheti#if you want to share aes. posts from someone...maybe try sharing their original creations as well so it doesn't feel like you're using them#and it feels like you're actually supporting them AND you like their aesthetic - that's all I've ever asked of people and they get SO mad#when asked to consider that there is a human being behind the screen who doesn't want to be treated like a resource...#- but as a creative/writer who is seeking contacts to do improvisational creative writing with others#the amount of strangers coming to my blog lately not to interact or share my work - but just take the 1-2 aesthetic posts I share is vexing#to all who do share: I love you and I see you and I appreciate you#and I've seriously considered just doing a random gift/giveaway from a pool of people that only consists of you guys#just to give back to the maybe 5 ppl who actually interact with me & others and support them by sharing their original work
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kill yourself faggot
Our relationship is rough right now, but in a few episodes we will be married.
#Pretty sure I know who sent this considering... everything#If you manage to see this even after I blocked you heres a list of reasons why I blocked you- since you want to know so bad#1.) Your views on sex work are regressive- I don't like how you demeaned that line of work simply because a of model was mean to you#2.) I am not comfortable with the way you talk about trans people- you are casually mysgonistic and transphobic when talking about them#You being trans does not give you a pass for this imho#3.) For all the posturing you do about the ZeXal skirts you and your friends are weird about under age characters + the post about#Edo being “apparently legal” was just gross to me. Your friend being weird about Yuri is how I originally found and blocked you.#4.) I don't like how you called someone a bitch just because they blocked you- you said you gave their art “nothing but support”#Before they blocked you. People do not owe you kindness or time or patience just because you liked their art.#You are not entitled to friendship or courtesy or anything at all just because you rebloged someones art.#5.) You hate Yu/ bel so much you call them a “child predator” I REALLY don't think you'd like following me considering they're my angel#When I have time again I want to dedicate more of my posts to Judai/Yu/ bel/Jun content and you'd fucking hate your life seeing that#So I blocked you before that became an issue.#I had you blocked for a while but when the VRAINS discourse happened I unblocked you so I could easily see what was up#Unfortunately I forgot to reblock you and I only remembered about your whole existence after you interacted with me#Usually I say shit like “Not everyone is going to like you and you just have to accept that as okay”#But in your case- there's a reason so many people have you blocked.#It's not because you have a “problematic fave” like you claim- it's because you have rancid fucking vibes#I'd rather people not interact with or acknowledge this post btw- I'm going to ignore anything further because idgaf about it all#I just wanted to annoy mr deranged by yu/beling all over their ask lol
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whenever i think/talk abt a "you" it's at least 5 different people usually
#ive been thinking about how you separated the star of david into triangles and taught me about the equilibrium about as above so below#are we in equilibrium? ive been thinking about the star of david and the rest in peace beneath it#fuck the fascists and fuck how they took you and fuck how theyll take everyone. am i good at analysis?#it turns out weve all been lying a lot. it turns out the person weve all lied the most to was ourselves.#ive been thinking about your 5 journals and a whole week of crying just to realise our sin. you felt like a nucleus inside a fuzz of#electrons and i felt like the fuzz of electrons. we caught a ribbon and followed it past the point of discomfort#this is how you breathe so that you dont die and this is how you breathe so that you do. on your own terms.#i am going to be a good architect. i am going to be a good engineer. i am going to be a good neuroscientist. i am going to be good.#i reserve the label for being a let-go-of-labels person. i am going to be the one who lets go of identifiers#and make it my identity. how do you achieve constant bliss? separate the nucleus and the fuzz.#suffering from the impact of the self and the self-image، you told me about the bliss of separation.#okay. let them hate the cloud. youre inside of it all. i am nothing. this is not a label for the self. mereology is a lovely thing.#baby you are ripping through all these spiderwebs just to live. this is part of the normal developmental process. i am surrounded by people#who throw sums of millions out of their mouths like any other lovely word. i cant stand the thought of your loss#except only in theory. ive been thinking about the bird with the broken wing in florence and how we stood around it until#two friends picked it up and took it home in hopes of nursing him back to flight. ive been thinking about how we are designed to care#for each other. tomorrow you will have your dreams crushed. the day after you will keep going. we are sharing#in the wonders of being perceiving beings. isnt that enough? why do you need to perceive the monstrosity of your own soul? is it#because i love you? is it because you love yourself? you love yourself enough to allow yourself to feel the terrible corners of you.#you can finally stand on your own. you can only stumble forward until you walk for the first time.
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#vent#I think the reason I've been so hesitant to share my art or be satisfied with it is because#no one really likes it#I mean I get likes and the occasional comment but the only reblogs I ever get are from myself and one other person#And I get that I'm creating for myself and it's rude to ask people to reblog but#do you know how demotivating it is to see a reblog get more notes than your art?#to see fan works made in under an hour get more attention than stories you've spent months crafting?#God I know I'm fucking evil for wanting just a little attention but I'm just tired#I haven't even posted art of my newest characters because I know nobody would give a shit#I've been stalling on posting a story for a year because I just can't find the motivation because no one would care#I see artists I follow and look up to post their personal stories and get so many notes and asks about it#enough to make their own ask blogs and comics and get fan art#but when I post my own stories I get like 5 notes at max#I'm just so sick of it#Why should I bother showing my art to anyone if no one gives a shit#It'd be better if I just deleted my fucking art blogs because I'm the only one who cares about them at this point#I just want validation that what I'm making isn't complete shit but I'll never get that because no one reblogs anyone that begs#I only have like 3 people to confide in#meanwhile my sister has entire fandoms supporting her projects#I don't know man I don't want to dwell on it but I just can't bring myself to create anymore#my motivation is gone#I shouldn't care this much I know
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Man....I should get back into fish keeping...
I still have a (sorta) pair of Betta persephone...but I need more....motivation? Enthusiasm? Both? To do much more.
#I love fish but I had a very unfortunate experience working at a LFS that kinda killed my vibe for the most part#I also sometimes think that I'm better at theory than practice bc I love helping people learn and get set up#But I kinda fall flat a bit when it comes to my personal tanks???#Anyways I had a pair of B persephone and they spawned twice but only one baby survived (still not 100% sure as to the reason tbh)#The original female died (I think bc the male was being a dick and wouldn't leave her alone)#But the one surviving baby is a female so??? Anyways they're in separate tanks rn#I miss working with fish and helping people with fish ngl#Maybe someday when I'm in a better situation I can pick the hobby up again#I love nanos but I also love a few monsters#Snakeheads my beloved even though I can't have you#I also really like bichirs#Do oscars count as monsters I can't remember either way I love them too#Anyways if anyone who follows me has fishy questions feel free to send me asks about it#I love helping people with fish it's why I stayed working at petco for like 5 years despite management constantly treating me like shit lmao#Fish#Drunken fish ramblings#Be glad I put most of this in the tags
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@dandelionsheep
so tired of this bullshittery
#didnt expect to find another dsaf fan in the notes but when were at it yeah.#literally one of the reasons for why i only talk dsaf with my 3 dsaf-knowing irl friends and like. 2 handpicked online people#i dont trust anyone else in this place. for other reasons but this one too#its made worse by the fact that there are like...max 5 canonically stated or implied features for each character yet most people cant even#follow those few pointers. like. come on man. there are like 3 characteristics on average per character. 3.#its not hard. yet everyone seems to bend over backwards to deviate from the source as much as possible#yes i do have a weird superiority complex about this. like booo your designs are ironed and polished like the sleekest product; your#depictions are declawed and defanged and you arent rotating a rotisserie chicken at all youre rotating a fucking tofu#like. im not saying that everyone in the fandom does this but...a LOTS of people do#btw if you're seeing this reblog twice it's because I'm stupid and deleted the previous one because i played 4d chess with myself#and decided that i was stupid as all hell for assuming dsaf even though fnaf will also goes by dave for a portion of time#after which i convinced myself that the chances of prev being a regular fnaf fan who just so happens to sometimes call will dave#are much higher than the chances of them being a dsaf fan who is used to calling dsaf will dave#because idk.
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