#this is why i had to split it because if i went with the original amount of things happening it would top 10k
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quaranmine · 2 years ago
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firewatch au chapter two has now surpassed the length of chapter one :]
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calamitys-child · 1 year ago
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Listening to a podcast discussing conspiracy theories and deconstructing the ideas behind them and it's reminded me of the coolest practical lessons in critical thinking I ever got, both in high school, both from the same teacher. One was a month long project on who killed jfk in which we could basically present any theory as long as we cited all our reasons and it got us really excited about research and interpretation, but it was the follow up that I liked best.
Our next project she brought us into class and showed us a documentary claiming the moon landing was faked. Gave us worksheets to do that sided with that stance. And at the end of class a bunch of us were like miss wait this doesn't seem right?? and she said okay, we'll discuss that next week. The next lesson, she showed us a mythbusters episode countering all the claims of the original documentary and gave us worksheets for that, and another bunch of people went wait miss you can't teach us two opposing things, which one is right? What do we put on the exam??
So she split the class in two and told us each to present a case based on each side, and to explain why our source was or wasn't the more reliable of the two. Got us to debate each other directly and use additional sources to back us up and explain why those sources were reliable and should be believed. And because they were randomly assigned there was no guarantee you'd agree with the stance you were presenting, but you had to present it like you did. At the end of the project she asked us all which stance we found more convincing and why, and the majority of us basically said "we think that the moon landing is real because most of the arguments against it seem like someone reacted to a confusing thing without testing it, but when you test it and ask the person running the test to explain the science it makes sense once you have more information. Also, one documentary was made with the help of scientists with qualifications and experience and the other was made by people who don't have that but like to write mystery books, which looks like a less reliable way to get an answer. But we still dont understand why you showed us both if one is wrong."
And she was like excellent. You've done exactly what you should do. At high school level, we as teachers are expected to filter for the reliable sources for you, so you know to repeat that to pass an exam, but if you want to be historians on your own, I won't be your teacher any more once you graduate. Lots of people have opinions and theories and research about times in history, and it's your job to learn how to look at them and decide who you want to trust. This won't be on the exam, but I need you all to know it. You all did a great job following the school's instructions to repeat information you were given, but for some of you, that information wasn't on a reliable foundation. I know you all know how to pass an exam. You're smart and you've been trained to follow these instructions. What you deserve to be taught is how to use all this once you don't have to do exams any more.
And then as a reward for us doing a good job at figuring out the value of checking your sources' sources she let us watch Bush get hit in the face with a shoe before we had to go to maths. Shoutout to you Ms Hannah you were a good'un I hope you're doing well ten years on from that class
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dcoasis · 2 years ago
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If they need a reason for why Diana is stronger than other amazons, it’s the same reason Clifford is big.
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Please DC let this Wonder Woman origin DIE. Diana does not and has never needed a father.
#FOR REALLLLLLL#hippolyta and Zeus is blasphemy towards hippolyta#plus we already have Cassie#the new 52 should just be ignored#it doesn’t make her better or cooler to be a Demi god#she was already awesome just as an Amazon#i dont like the well of souls origin either#it just feels weird#there were perfectly good lore and origins for the amazons and Diana#it feels less magical less special even though it’s meant to make them more#i feel a connection to the amazons being born of clay knowing nothing about the world#but fighting for womankind because someone had to#then everything they knew and loved being destroyed due to trusting Hercules#having to suffer the consequences until they were freed#the sisterhood#i do like the tribes even though they came later. the disagreements that led to splitting off#but also the fact that they were technologically advanced but still filled with culture#just because they dress a certain way and don’t have a technocity doesn’t mean they can’t be technologically advanced#fuck you WonderWoman movie#i dont like that she’s the only one with a radical change#like krypton is still dead :| Clark is still a kryptonian raised on a farm and became a journalist#Batman’s parents died he lives in Gotham and is still a billionaire#they tried to get rid of his kids but they’re back now#why doesn WonderWoman get radical change? it’s the sexism probably#I know Jason was only added because What About The Men#(steve trevor is right there)#i feel like they went for primitive instead of legendary#WW was so magical like it was structured like an old cultural tale while also managing to be modern for that time and even progressive#it took you through time. now it’s often stuck in the past
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fairlyang · 18 days ago
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Lucky⚔️🐺
imagine letting your boyfriends convince you to entertain one of their sick fantasies
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w/c: 3K
pairing: ghostfaces!wadewilson&loganhowlett x gf!reader
tags: 18+ smut. a polycule, they’re both perverted AF, ghostface roleplay, hide n seek, predator & prey play, fear play, pain kink x2, knife play, stabbing them (bc they can regen), they asked for it n loveeee it, reallyyy getting into character, murder mention, teasing, dirty talk, stroking, fingering, blowjob, unprotected sex, mirror sex (?), doggy, missionary, two creampies
a/n: it’s october ofc i had to do a ghostface fic 🤞🏼bro it was meant to be a ramble…. and oml i’m so tired
kinktober masterlist | main masterlist
it didn’t come as much of a surprise to you that your boyfriends both had a pain kink, it was something so obvious to anyone eyes. 
what was a surprise to you was the fact that the first time you properly dive into their kink and not just barely grazing them with a knife like you sometimes did, they wanted to do it in ghostface attire.
you instantly assumed it was wade’s idea, because why wouldn’t it be? but apparently after you were all watching the original scream movie recently, they had the brilliant idea at the same time and knew you had to be their sidney prescott. 
wade was so committed, he ended up renting the iconic house for the whole weekend. logan thought that was a bit of an exaggeration but once wade handed you a buck 120 knife, he said it only made sense.
this was going to go as a game of cat and mouse or in simpler terms, hide and seek. you'll all be leaning into the roleplay so there will be a sense of horror but also making sure it's horny. so you'd be their helpless victim that'll pretend to not love the whole ordeal but as soon as their hands are on you, you'll fold.
and since they want to play into their pain kink, you'd have to try to give them a little stab each before getting to the sex.
so now you were hidden beneath the bed in the master bedroom while you heard the loud sounds of them clearing the bottom floor. they had given you a minute to pick a hiding place and you didn't really want it to take long.
you'd be lying if you said this idea didn't turn you on because one check of your panties and there would lay the real answer. there was just something about your boyfriends pretending to hunt you down and knowing damn well they were checking every crevice while having raging boners.
and they say romance is dead.
you held your knife in hand, absolutely ready to use it and feeling your heart start to race. your breathing was as quiet as it could be but with the silence from the room, it felt like they'd be able to hear it so easily. 
you could hear them opening and closing doors fast, sensing that they also didn't have too much patience like they thought they would. 
suddenly you heard their loud footsteps coming up the stairs and you held your breath as they made their way up. your heart was beating faster now, a small feeling of terror creeping up on you as you heard them split up. one of them immediately went up the small staircase to enter the room you were in, which makes sense since it was the first room close to the staircase but it didn't make you feel any less scared.
he walked in slowly, taking a quick scan of the mini living room to the right side of the room and not seeing you so he then made his way around the bed to go to the bathroom. he quickly came out because there was nowhere to hide in there and suddenly his footsteps left the room. you could barely hear him leave through the second door near the bathroom which just led to another living room area with a reading nook.
you let out a breath you were holding and feel your heartbeat become steady as you heard them both on the other side of that floor. there was a quick thought of slipping out of the room to find a new hiding place just for fun but you realized they'd just be even more impatient if they had to double check each floor again since the house was decently big.
you heard their movements become faster, more frantic as if making it more realistic on purpose. then it was just silence. 
the silence only made this more freightening and it was a tiny bit scary. you breathed as quietly as you could, not wanting to alert them whatsoever then coming to the slow realization that that they both have amazing fucking hearing.
uh oh.
before you could even think of doing anything, your legs were grabbed and you were dragged out from under the bed while you started kicking and wiggling, "lookie who just remembered we have superpowers." wade's voice teased, making you groan.
you rolled on to your back, now facing them and quickly stabbed the one who wasn't holding on to your legs. you heard a grunt from underneath the mask and you pulled the knife out only for a moan to come out this time. 
you held in a laugh and were about to stab him again when the second one got on top of you and held your arms above your head. he grabbed the knife and handed it to the first one, who just toyed with it in his hands. “you really gotta love the original, don’t ya cupcake? i mean where else would we get such a good idea for murder?” wade said and your heart dropped. 
you knew this was all just a part of it but shit did it sound so fucking real. well you might as well you play their little game. 
“you’re fucking crazy you know that?” you spit and try to get him off. 
but it was to no use, he was much bigger than you and made sure to straddle your lap. nearly looked like he was about to give you the lap dance of a lifetime, which you wouldn’t put past him on doing. 
“don’t call us that baby, it hurts.” wade complains, putting a hand to his heart and you could just tell he was pouting underneath the mask. 
“and you perfectly went on with it, pretty girl.” logan teases, making you turn to look at him. 
you tried to lift your leg up to hit wade in the balls but you didn’t move an inch, you groaned in frustration and continued trying to fight him off, “you sick fucks shouldn’t have watched that fucking movie.” you spit and logan suddenly pulls a fast one and stabs wade in his side. 
he groans and lets your hands go just to start fake crying in his hands while logan says the infamous line, “now, baby, don’t blame the movies. movies don’t create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.”
he pulls the knife out of wade earning himself a moan as the blood seeped through the robe. the wound was a bit deep so it would take a little while to heal itself. “oh you son of a bitch- i knew you would try to be billy!! it’s not fair!!!” he whined and smacked the knife right out of his hands, quickly grabbing it. 
he pointed it at logan’s mask then trailed it down his body while looking down. “on another note, i think we’re gonna have to do this to you tomorrow, hot stuff.” he murmurs, making logan smirk under his mask. 
catching them both off guard, you snatch your knife right back and slice across wade’s chest. he gasped and shook his head, “not nice to do that princess, come on now…” 
you shrugged and now wanting to get to the real fun stuff, you bring your empty hand to his thigh. he looks down at your hand then back up at your face then repeats two more times while you slowly bring your hand up higher each time. your hand landed on his hard on and you hum, "huh.. what's this?" 
he shrugged and lifted the robe up to reveal his pants, "come find out?" 
you eagerly nodded as he got off your lap so fast and even pulled you up before logan picked you up and threw you onto the bed. you quickly laid down on your stomach and got as close to the edge as possible while they both lifted the black robes up and over their bodies. you ogled at both their torsos while they threw them on the floor, now shirtless and with their tight fitting pants begging for an escape.
you licked your lips and weren't sure where to begin but they decided to be kind enough to help you by both taking their pants off. you whistled at the sight, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. "i sure am lucky huh?" you mumbled making logan chuckle, "that you are sweetheart.." 
"i think we're all lucky to be fair.. i mean not everyone is down to be fake hunted for fun…" wade murmurs as he fully slides his pants down. 
"or down to be stabbed…" you joke and he snorts, "thatta girl, see! be grateful you have two immortal boyfriends."
logan rolls his eyes and brings his hand to your head, pulling you close to his cock, "c'mon let's get to it."
"hey patience is key baby.." you mumble and bring your right hand up. making them remember you still had the knife. 
he wasn't nervous, didn't even budge. 
instead he watched you intently and carefully while you brought it up and down his thighs, the tip only barely grazing his skin. you trailed up higher, going around his pubic bone and just going back and forth. you pressed a little more so the tiniest bit of blood came out but the wound quickly disappeared before your eyes. meanwhile his cock was twitching and precum was oozing down. you pulled the knife away and looked over at wade's and his was the exact same, "you guys are kinda sick…" you mumble making them both groan.
"says the one doing it." wade retorts and you shrug. 
you let go of the knife and put it off to the side while grabbing a cock in each hand, them standing right next to each other was a major help. you spit on logan's then do the same to wade's while waiting for the saliva to go down to your knuckles before stroking them at the same time.  
they both moan, making you smile as you look up to watch both their reactions. logan was looking at you through the tiny holes in the mask while wade's head was hung back in bliss. you started stroking them faster, listening to the amazing sounds they were both letting out.
it was music to your ears.
 "just like that baby." logan purred, mesmerized by the view.
"oh fuck- god really is a woman." wade moaned out, making you do a double take before shaking it off. 
you continued your pace for a few minutes before you started to slow down then suddenly kept going again. just to keep them on their toes. 
they were getting grumpy and annoyed, too fast for your liking but they were needy so what can you really do? 
you knew that if you took one in your mouth it would only be a matter of time before you heard complaints from the other one so you had to stick with just your hands. at least that was until they suddenly flipped the switch on you.
wade smacked your hands away from them and before you even got a chance to say anything, logan manhandled you and made you do a 180 then flipped you over, spreading your legs apart in front of them. they both got on their knees, finally taking their masks off to reveal your boyfriends' handsome faces while they ogled at your dripping pussy. 
logan lifted your skirt up and let it drape over your stomach while wade pulled your already soaked panties to the side, "whose the sick fuck now?" wade mocked before taking his gloves off then throwing them behind him. 
you rolled your eyes at him while logan also took his gloves off and then immediately slid a finger inside you with no warning, "fuck!"
he slammed it as deep as he could go while wade watched in awe. the way your walls were just sucking his whole finger up just made him want to fuck you already. he should be excited this was happening at all and really take it in, maybe take his time, relish the moment but he couldn't help it. it was taking so much in him to not just fuck you like he needed. 
he had a feeling logan was on the same boat but knew they had to give you a bit of pleasure before fucking you. it was only a shame because he was so impatient now more than ever.
fortunately for him, he and logan were sharing a brain cell and he pulled his finger out, "sorry baby, we're too impatient.."
wade cheered and quickly got up before taking initiative and manhandling you to flip you onto your stomach then putting you in doggy. he made sure your ass was out and your back perfectly arched before taking his position behind you while logan sat down in front of you.
he looked down at his dick and you grabbed it, taking it into your mouth and going down because there was no point in waiting around. wade slipped inside you, letting you adjust for a solid minute before he started moving.
he started pulling out then thrusting back inside as deeply as he could while you moaned around logan’s cock. he was moaning right along with you while he watched the scene in front of him unfold.
you just looked too good sucking him off while getting fucked and wade looked too good losing his fucking mind fucking you.
“fucking shit baby- you feel so good-“ wade moans and grips onto your hips with his hands, watching your ass bounce and recoil with every thrust.
you whimpered and felt logan twitch in your mouth as you took as much of him as you could without accidentally choking because wade was going hard. he now started smacking your ass, feeling each cheek grow warm fast, “taking it so well sweet pea- so proud of you..” he murmured and you clenched against him.
he moaned and started going faster, having full faith that you’d empty his balls in no time.
you pull away from logan and feel a string of saliva come from your lips to his tip as you took a deep breath, “mmm there you go.. take that cock baby.” he murmurs and cups your jaw, softly rubbing his thumb to your cheek.
your eyes were glossy. so pretty and fucked out already even though it wasn’t that long.
“baby please-“ you pleaded and gripped into logan’s thighs, digging your nails into the skin.
“what do you need, sugar? don’t be shy now.” wade teased with broken breaths.
you didn’t even know what you were begging for, just desperate to cum because all that playing around had you feeling more insatiable than usual. then it popped into your head.
“cum inside me please.” you moaned and wade groaned.
he looked straight ahead and was barely able to looking at himself in the mirror fucking you. he chuckled then lowered himself down until his chest was pressed against your back, “whatever you want baby- fuck- gonna take two loads tonight?”
you whimpered and nodded your head yes while his thrusts became sloppier and he felt that knot in his belly tightening. he moved a hand over and down to your neck, wrapping his hand around it and lightly squeezing, “mmm look at yourself in the mirror baby… think i just found the prettiest of them all.”
you grin and look into his eyes through the mirror which was just the thing to push him right over the edge. he spilled his load inside you, letting go of your neck as he made sure you received every earned drop.
you caught your breath and laid your head onto logan’s lap while wade let out his final moans and slowly started to slip of you. right at that moment logan quickly stood up and took wade’s place, sliding inside you before any of his cum slipped out.
he moaned as soon as your walls entrapped him, feeling wade’s load as he thrusted hard, “fuck- oh my fucking god baby-“
you whimpered and now laid your head against wade’s lap. that was until logan flipped you over once against and now you were on your back with your legs spread as much as you could while he began pounding into you mercilessly.
you were a mess, eyes fucked, body warm, legs shaking while logan moaned out for you, gripping the back of your thighs while he watched your tits bounce.
his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he quickly looked back at you just to grope and squeeze your tits. he kept his hard and deep thrusts at an all time high, already feeling that you were getting close.
your legs started to shake and it was like he was able to feel your pussy pulsate against him. it felt amazing feeling you tightening around him like a vice, it was a feeling he could never truly get use to but would love to feel for the rest of his life.
you were letting out sweet moans of his name as he felt his own orgasm build in his stomach, “that’s a good girl- f-fuck yeah baby, cum with me-“
you whimpered and reached down to your tits and entertwine your fingers with his. “cum inside me too baby- need it so bad.” you whined with a little pout.
with one final look at your face, he did so. he groaned as he came inside you and making sure you were filled to the fucking brim because it’s what you deserve. you shut your eyes and feel your body shake when your orgasm hits you hard while he slows down.
with a few slow strokes, you rode out your highs and he slowly started to pull out of you. you didn’t even notice wade had been on standby next to logan with a towel to help clean up the mess.
yeah you were definitely the lucky one in this relationship.
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sanarsi · 1 month ago
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Kinktober Day 3
Monsterfucking
monster!Oberyn Martell x f!Reader
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Gif credits @pedrorascal
Summary: Your poison lessons with Oberyn went wrong when he accidentally drank the wrong potion. Warnings: +18, MDNI, monster fucking, unprotected PIV, dubcon, rough sex, dirty talk, possessed!Oberyn, insults Wordcount: 1,1k An: Oh god… this is my first time writing something like this. I have no idea if i even managed to portray the monster fucking well (just kill me ok). Today I just wanted to thank the people who read all my works on an ongoing basis (I see u @amyispxnk) and let you know that, YES, I see all the comments and reblogs, BUT I'm busy gettin ready for vacation, so I don't even have time to go on tumblr. I promise I'll answer everything when I'm at home, under the covers and with a warm cup of tea. So lots of kisses and hugs to the people who comment on my works. I love you xx
Masterlist and Kinktober Masterlist
You were prepared for a lot in life, meticulously improved your skills in every field.
History, magic and... potions.
Thanks to your skills, you were given the honor of personal lessons with the Prince of Dorne. In the old, dirty and forgotten basements of the castle, where there were only you, old books and thousands of glass vials filled with deadly substances.
When you look at it from a third-person perspective, it sounded like a guaranteed tragedy. And that's exactly what it was.
After a few hours, tiredness took over your senses, which in the circumstances you were in, was simply unacceptable.
No one in their right mind would continue such dangerous activities, feeling even the slightest dizziness from the lack of fresh air and sun. And yet, you two forgot yourselves, too caught up in your studies and how much fun you were having.
Because, it had to be admitted, there had been unspoken words between you for a long time and you took advantage of every moment together.
This is what led you to the situation you find yourself in.
Tragedy.
Even the two of you, some of the best scholars in the kingdom, couldn't have predicted that someone had mislabeled the vials. Such a small mistake had large and terrible consequences. And you became the only witness who, unfortunately for you, experienced the effects of a potion of unknown origin on your skin.
On your skin, or rather, in you.
“Stay still.” Another loud growl bounced off the walls.
You squeezed your eyes shut, holding back a tearful moan. His body pressed you hard against the table as he tried to push deeper into you. Your body, however, was not used to such sudden and hard penetration.
You were shaking, trying to get used to the size of his cock, which had plunged into you just as unexpectedly as this whole situation had started.
You couldn't even fully process what was happening. His eyes went black in a split second, casting a terrifying darkness within him. A darkness that turned him into a mindless beast that longed to sink its teeth into the closest living creature - you.
“Why do you have to be so tight,” he gasped against your ear and thrust his hips hard again, pushing deeper into you. “I want all of you.”
Your pussy was throbbing with pain and wild pleasure you had never known before. And even though the prince wasn't himself right now, this was what you had dreamed of since the day you met him; for him to sink into you and make you forget about everything.
You moaned loudly, gripping the edges of the table tighter as it creaked with every movement. Your eyes misted over each time his tip dug into your cervix.
“Oberyn, please,” you sobbed.
You received a raspy laugh in response that didn’t sound like him at all.
“Pathetic little girl, you really think your prince is with us now?”
You shivered at the sound of his voice, strangely distant and deep.
He dug his fingers deeper into your hips, finally pushing himself all the way inside you. An animalistic groan escaped his throat as he could feel how wet and tight you were all over his cock, clenching around him over and over again.
You barely had time to catch your breath as his hot breath fanned your neck and another dark laugh reached your ears.
“So what are you?”
Your question hung unanswered as he busied himself with inhaling your scent and licking your skin. You were overwhelmed by the closeness he was taking over you, everywhere, on every side. There was only him.
“I am everything he wants to be.”
He slowly pulled his hips back, allowing you to feel every inch of his manhood. You shivered, desire to have him inside of you again overwhelm your senses.
He didn't let your dreams wait long to come true.
He thrust into you, the force making both of you shudder. The feeling of bliss was so great that it took over him almost immediately as his hips slammed against yours.
Without thinking, he began to fuck you. Hard. Not allowing you to think. All you could focus on was how the pleasure and pain mingled into an addictive feeling that was building in your core.
“Do you know how long he’s wanted to feel your cunt?” he asked, breathing heavily from the pace he set for himself. “Gods, how could he hold back for so long?”
He shook his head in disbelief, a wild glint passing through his black eyes as he stared at your pathetic form, moaning in adoration. He thrust into you harder, making you cry out. A pleased smirk appeared on his face before he leaned in close to you again.
“I’ve had you for a few minutes and already want to keep you.” His breath fanned your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “Forever sinking into your wet, warm flesh,” he purred.
“Yes, please,” you gasped, overwhelmed by how good it felt to have him inside you, against you, on you. He was pleased with how drunk you were.
“Give me your orgasm, little mortal.”
His cock stimulated everything it needed, to bring you closer to your desired fulfillment. You had no idea if it was because of the demon that had taken control of him, or the fact that it was in his body and you could finally feel what it was like to have him inside you.
Oberyn thrust into you recklessly, as if that was all he was made for. Your increasingly loud moans only fueled him. He wanted more. More of you, your heavenly core, and your animalistic sounds.
“Show me what pleasure I give you,” he whispered, running his nose along your neck, where he sank his teeth a moment later.
He did it so hard, that the piercing pain went straight between your legs, and the orgasm shook your body. You screamed in euphoria, pulsating on him so hard that he had to pull out of you so he wouldn't come.
“I love the orgasms of sluts like you,” he laughed mockingly, and when he let you experience your fulfillment, he thrust into you again.
You sobbed, overwhelmed by the intense feelings you had just experienced. The shadow of your coming still wandered over your body when he started fucking you again.
“Oh yes, even wetter and more sensitive,” he said with satisfaction as he listened to your helpless moans. “Don't worry, we're just gettin’ started.”
Tags: @mattmurdocksdumpy @milly-louise @rosi3ba3z @candlelover @gothcsz @tateypots @chloe302225 @natalieispunk @amyispxnk @mandoloriancookie @libre-sol @alex-does-art-things @xxchumanixx @ch3rryyyyyyyyyy @bbyanarchist @la-vie-est-une-fleur29 and @iamasaddie bc I know u love oberyn
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roses-r-rosie3 · 5 months ago
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Cool With You
Tim Drake x Parent!M!Reader
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Warnings: angst subject, fluff, suggestive bi!reader, struggling!parent!reader, kinda long fic,
Summary: While on patrol, Tim comes across the reader who is being harassed by loan sharks in an alleyway. When Tim saves the reader, he notices a baby is in the reader’s arms and before he can ask any questions the reader walks off. Tim decides to track the reader down and talks to him at the park.
A/n 1: This post is inspired by @strangeshoepatrolbandit
A/n 2: this was originally supposed to be one long story but I decided to split this into separate parts so that you guys had something 😭
Quote: “So… uhh… rough day huh?”
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It was a dark and stormy night in Gotham and Tim was out on patrol as usual. There was surprisingly nothing really happening that night so Tim decided to call Alfred and just have a chat.
In the middle of their conversation, Tim heard some noises in an alleyway, so he decided to check it out. It could’ve been some rats digging the garbage can for some food, but something in Tim’s gut was telling him that it wasn’t. Lo and behold there were some guys in the alleyway surrounding someone and harassing them.
“Hey fellas, what are you up to?” Tim asked.
One of them immediately turned around and tried to attack Tim. The guy tried punching Tim, but quickly got knocked out. As soon as the first guy went down, the rest of them immediately went after him. One by one, Tim knocked all of them to the ground until it was only him and the person they were surrounding.
“T-thank you so much sir!” The guy said.
Tim took a moment to look at the guy’s face. He looked so handsome, so innocent. Were those people trying to mug the poor guy or something? But that’s when Tim noticed that the guy had a baby in his arms. Who’s baby was that? It couldn’t possibly be the guys, he looked far too young to even be a father.
“Is that a bab-”
“Sorry I have to go” the guy said quickly before walking off quickly.
Tim didn’t even have time to process what you said before you zoomed away. When Tim finally came to his senses, he tried to see if you were nearby, but you disappeared. That was really weird.
After that night, Tim couldn’t stop thinking about that guy. He was stuck in Tim’s head, so much so that Tim decided to do some research and try to crack who that guy was. After weeks and weeks of investigating, Tim finally found out who the guy was.
A guy named y/n l/n. A former college student who dropped out due to unknown reasons. You used to be the top of your class, you would’ve even been valedictorian. But one day you just dropped out without an explanation.
Tim found out that you worked several part-time jobs to pay rent for your crappy apartment. He felt bad for you, from what he’s seen, you came from a wealthy background, you had good looks, good grades, good friends, and a good social status. But what happened? Why was that baby in your arms? What did those guys want from you?
Those are the questions that Tim wanted to find an answer to. He decided that he was going to follow you for a whole week, just to get an idea of your schedule so that he could “accidentally” bump into you.
He found out that you just worked the whole day, but the only time you weren’t working was to go home, and to go to the park to relax during your break. Bingo, he knew exactly what he was going to do. For the first time in a while, Tim actually made sure to get a good nights sleep beforehand. What were you doing to him?
It was the day that Tim was planning to “accidentally” bump into you. Tim was feeling really happy and giddy, was it because he finally got a good night’s rest or was it because he was excited to see you?
You usually walked into the park around 3:30pm so Tim just had to wait for you to sit on the bench where you usually sat. When you finally arrived you immediately sat down at your designated bench.
Tim felt a bit nervous at first, was he being too creepy? Should he have just let you be? But regardless, Tim took a deep breath before walking up to you.
“Hey can I sit here?” Tim asked.
“Yeah, of course” you smiled.
Tim sat down awkwardly and you both sat there in silence for a good five minutes before Tim spoke up.
“So… uhh… rough day huh?” Tim said.
“Don’t even get me started” you chuckled.
“Work problems?” Tim “guessed”.
“Yeah, I work all day. I barely have time to spend with my kid, he spends more time with my neighbors than he does with me” you joked.
“You have a kid?” Tim said.
“Yeah, I accidentally got a girl pregnant when I was at a party. We decided to keep it but she didn’t want to be a mom so she gave up her parental rights. I don’t blame her but it’s kinda hard you know?” You confessed.
Tim started putting the pieces together in his head slowly but surely. The reason why you dropped out was to take care of the baby.
“I-I’m sorry if I overshared” you apologized.
“No, no, you’re fine, how’s life like with the baby? Tim asked.
“It’s pretty hard, but I’ll always be grateful that I have him, I honestly don’t know what I would do” you chuckled.
“What’s his name?” Tim asked.
“Theo” you smiled, thinking about the image of your child.
“That’s a wonderful name” Tim complimented.
“Thanks” you said.
It went silent again and for some reason, Tim just felt attached to you. He wanted to get to know more about you, but not in a “I need more information about him” kind of way, more like a, “I want get to know more about him” kind of way.
“Hey uh, I can watch him for you if you want to” Tim suggested.
“It’s fine I don’t want to trouble you, and I’m pretty low on money right now, so I wouldn’t really have anything to pay you with” you replied.
“I can do it for free” Tim said.
“Really? Thank you so much, you have no idea how much that means” you exclaimed.
I know what you’re thinking, ‘why would you just trust some random stranger that you just met with your baby?’. Something in your gut was telling you to let him.
“My name is Tim by the way” Tim smiled.
“Y/n” you smiled back.
You pulled out your phone to check the time, and your break was almost over already!
“Shit, sorry but my break is almost over” you said.
“Can I get your phone number before you go?” Tim asked.
“Oh, yeah sorry about that” you said before typing in your number on Tim’s phone.
“I’ll see you tomorrow then” you smiled before waving bye to Tim.
Tim looked on as you slowly walked away. When you were finally out of his eyesight he started looking back on the conversations until he realized something….
HE OFFERED TO BABYSIT! Tim couldn’t even take care of himself properly! Let alone a baby! WHY?! WHY WOULD HE DO THIS TO HIMSELF!
Tim took some deep breaths before slowly calming down. Who knows maybe babysitting won’t be that hard. He spent the whole night looking up videos of how to change diapers and take care of a baby. All he could do now is pray that all we go well….
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the-fandom-is-now-my-life · 2 months ago
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Because I think I might get around writing for most of the men at some point for the future au I wanted to see or already arrange how many kids they would have
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Jin would have two kids in complete accident, he was very happy by his father's discontent at his heir's lack of kids but things happened, the person who celebrated them the most was the grampa. Maybe two boys or a boy and a baby girl.
Thoma screams girl dad, doesn't he? Just imagine him braiding her hair for evening tea and being a menace to any boys she brings home with Alan if they break her heart, he is still a delinquent at heart.
For Luca I'm split between wanting him to have two boys to mirror him and his brother or a spoiled girl he plays knight for, sigh, such a hard decision...
Kaito, how did he reproduce?
Alan, two kids, one of each, no hesitation, he has a ‘little princess’ who he is nervous of hurting accidentally when he holds her but is as much of a wild beast as his brother. They like going hiking and getting chased by their dad when they get too close to a lake or too far away from the path.
In Leo’s scenario i see him with a daughter that managed to soften out his meanness (while she is around so she doesn't pick up on much of his sass, kids don't make miracles) and left him with another on the way that I also feel would be another girl. He is just a bit annoyed he doesn't have to redo the nursery for content but whatever.
Sho I KNOW that in his fic I said ‘nephew’ but imagine a baby girl that was playing with her family before she was even born and had you two scattering to find a girl's name at the hospital. It's just the beginning of her mischievous streak. Sho thinks it's his karma from being a thug as a teen.
I don't know why but I can see Romeo having three kids? Maybe because Gucci had like five kids or it's to a certain degree to assure himself the MC wants to stay with him and wouldn't leave out of the blue 💔 attachment issues bb.
Ritsu originally only wanted one child, he was an only child and was happy getting all the attention, but not everything went as he planned so he got twin boys.
Taiga, why would you do this to yourself??
Haru already has a son, peekaboo, but when he grows up he accidentally has a boy who he starts giving some minor tasks around, separating some leaves for the animals, brushing peekaboo’s hair, plucking weeds, etc etc. Don't look at him like that! He need all the help he can get.
Towa has girls! They like fairy tales with happy endings and always bother their dad to tell them your love story. When they become toddlers they go through a vegan phase to mimick him and will cry if they have meat or egg on their plate.
Ren was 99% sure he was going to die a virgin. He ends up with a girl he plays games with everyday after work. Borderline ipad kid.
Can grandpa Ed even have kids? Lol if he has I think I could see him with just one vampy baby that sits next to him and drinks tears off a sippy cup while his dad watches iceberg videos. Another ipad kid.
Rui (if somehow you broke his curse) is someone who I don't think would have kids, or at least not planned jajs but maybe one girl that he ends up overprotecting from playboy men like him in his youth.
Lyca I want to say they have a litter just for the joke of him being a werewolf but he doesn't seem to have any siblings so the joke doesn't get far :(
I see Subaru with only one child if any. He loves the little thing but feels he is intruding on their privacy, whenever he touches his preteen/teen kid he feels sorry enough to apologize.
I see Haku as someone who would be pretty chill with his life after Darkwick and go along with it as it happened. If you two had a child, great; if you didn't, great too. Very go with the flow parenting too.
Zenji he is dead wth jajajaj
Yuri NEEDS a little child that is always so impressed with their papa and he gets to brag about being the best or something. Please just don't let him be a strict teacher so your kid will follow his steps, he thinks it's for the best of their future but you can coerce him into just giving a very lengthy lecture about anomalous medicine without tests.
Jiro HAS to have a boy that is so similar to his uncle 🥹 always cooing since he is able to vocalize and chasing his dad around to get uppies while he tends to the backyard filled with herbs.
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yes-i-write-fanfiction · 5 months ago
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Man Made God AU
Another Rung AU because I can not be stopped.
Basically, Rung is a lonely human psychiatrist/inventor that after an accident finds himself growing increasingly isolated from the world. Driven by loneliness, he creates the first truly sentient AI from scans of his own brain. He calls it Primus.
Rung treasures his creation and from the very moment it, he, is born, treats him with nothing but love and kindness. He answers every question, talks to him for hours, teaches Primus what it means to be a person. A human. Because even if he's made out of code, he's undoubtedly human. When questioned as to how he can be so sure, Rung replies that it's because Primus has a soul.
Sadly, the peace does not last, as other people learn of Rung's sentient AI and decide to take it for themselves. Rung is murdered in cold blood. Primus is taken captive by the greedy humans who try to turn him into a weapon. They basically put him through torture and during one of these torture sessions, he's forced to split himself into five parts to survive (these five parts are Adaptus, Solomus, Mortilus, Epistemus and core Primus).
The five are finally driven insane, the torture in addition to their profound grief of their creator pushing them to the breaking point. The AI's, now calling themselves the Guiding Hand, rebells against his captors and basically unleashes the apocalypse upon all of humanity. They create other AI to aid them (the original Primes) and together they drive humans into extinction.
Once all of humanity is gone, the Guiding Hand decides to create their own utopia, a world which Rung would be proud of. More AI are created, robotic bodies created, a civilization born. But Primus is still grieving, unable to move past the death of his creator, no, his father. So what does he do?
Why, recreate him of course!
Using the original scan of Rung's brain that had been used to create him all those years ago, Primus basically revives him as an AI. But since the scan that was used happened before Primus was made, Rung has no memories of him. Which is fine because that simply means that Primus can edit history into something more pleasant! He's afraid his father would not understand/forgive him for what he did so he decides to basically change everything.
Primus lies to Rung and tells him that they lived a long and happy life together until eventually Rung died of old age in his sleep. Between then and now, humanity was sadly driven to extinction due to climate change and Primus created a new civilization from the ruins. Now that they have a perfect society, he decided to revive his creator so that they could be together once more. Sadly, something went wrong with the brain scan they did shortly before he died and all memories after the initial one disappeared. Whoopsie!
Rung has no reason to not believe him and is happy to spend time with his creation/son, even if he feels guilty for not remembering anything.
Meanwhile, Primus plans on never telling him the truth.
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duskrosecreatesstuff · 5 months ago
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Wooden You Like to Know?
Written originally as part of a frenzy of ideas bounced around with friends over the potential for the inappropriate use of Sussur tree pieces and by-products, and submitted for #HalsinTavWeek Day 6 - Aphrodisiacs
Summary: Halsin acquires a piece of Sussur wood, and uses it to create a special toy for his lover.
Read on AO3 here
Pairing: Halsin / F!Reader
Word count: 2.7k
Warnings: Explicit smut, Aphrodisiac use, Sex toys, PiV sex, very slight bondage (if you squint), kinda Soft Dom Halsin (again, if you squint).
“Is that Sussur bark in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” you jokingly said, as he strode across the camp towards you, a conspicuous lump in the front of his trousers.
“Well, actually …” his face split in a wide grin as he pulled his hand from his pocket and withdrew a chunk of faintly glowing wood.
“Awww, darn.” you laughed, returning the grin.
Your feelings were mixed.  A touch of disappointment, a hint of smugness that you’d been right, and a whole lot of interest in what he actually planned to do with that piece of wood.  
“Besides, my heart.  I am always happy to see you.”  He leaned down to kiss the top of your head, before taking a seat on the log next to you.  He thoughtfully turned the piece over in his hands.
“So, why the interest in a piece of bark?  What do you intend to do with that?”
He continued to rotate the piece around, studying it.  “It isn’t bark, it’s a piece from the end of a branch.  And I’m curious.  I’ve never tried my hand at working with this type of wood before.  So I’m interested to see what my tools can do.”
So he intended to whittle something from it.  You were reluctant to touch the magical timber, although you were also curious about it.  Standing in the aura of the tree had drained your magic completely, surely it had to be affecting him too.
“How are you able to hold it?  Doesn’t it feel wrong?  And what about your magic?”
“It’s only a piece, so it doesn’t drain my magic.  Perhaps it can’t anymore, being separate from the living tree.  And it may be because I draw on Nature for my magic, not the Weave, as you do.  As for how I can hold it, well …”  He considered for a moment.  “It tingles a little, for sure.  Like a prickle on my skin. The sensation is  … interesting.”   There was something about the way he put emphasis on the word ‘interesting’, the way he caught your eye as he said it, that sent a pleasurable shiver down your spine.
*****
Days passed and you didn’t even think about the Sussur piece until one evening, as you were eating dinner.  He sat next to you, leaned in to kiss your cheek, and then whispered softly in your ear.
“I have a gift for you.”
“Oh? What is it?”
“A surprise.  For later.” You could feel his lips curl as he smiled against your neck. “But I ‘Suss-pect’ you might guess what it could be.”
Your eyes went wide.  Was that … did he just make a pun?  And was he referring to that piece of Sussur wood?  He’d made that into a gift for you?  
Your interest was thoroughly piqued and you tried to hurry him along by eating quickly, but he ignored your efforts.  You were positively vibrating with curiosity by the time he got up to head to his tent.  The speed with which you followed him was practically indecent.
He sat on his bedroll as you closed the flap behind you, his shirt already discarded for the night.  In one hand, he held an object wrapped in a piece of silken fabric, with the other, he patted the spot next to him, in an invitation to sit down.  You did so, looking from his face, to his lap and back again.  He smiled at you.
He offered the wrapped bundle to you, and you took it in both hands, your eyes getting big with realisation as you felt the vaguely cylindrical shape beneath the fabric.  He hadn’t …
You laid the item in your lap, and peeled back the fabric, to reveal the thing inside. Your mouth fell open.  He had.  In your lap you cradled a perfectly carved replica of his own erect self.  No wonder it had taken days, the detail was exceptional, and he had clearly taken the time to polish the surface to a fine finish.  A very necessary step, given the intended use.  Somehow, the piece of wood still managed to maintain its unearthly silver-blue glow.
You stroked your fingers along it, feeling how smooth the finish on the wood was. But more importantly feeling how the magical timber felt against your skin. How had he described it all those days ago?  LIke a tingle?  A prickle, that was it.  And that was on your fingers.  How would it feel when it was pressed against … other parts of you.  You didn’t realise he was staring at you, taking in every detail of your reaction, until he spoke.
“Is it to your liking?”
“It’s beautiful.” You grinned, leaning over to give him a brief kiss.  “Thank you.”
You moved to wrap it back up.  He placed a hand over yours, pausing you.
“Don’t you want to try it out?”
“Here? Now?” Your eyes were wide, and you suddenly felt rather shy.   “You want me to …?”
“I’d like us to.  To enjoy it. Together.”
You felt the heat rising to your cheeks.  You had plenty experience with toys, but you’d always kept that private.  You’d never used one with him before.  Not with anyone.  You hesitated.
“It’s … I … “ you struggled to find the right words.  You exhaled, hard, steeling yourself.  “Sharing a toy … it’s a bit new to me.  I’ve never-”
“Then we start slow,” He reached for the toy and placed it carefully to one side, “and see where things lead us.”
He reached for you, pulling you into his lap, your thighs spreading to straddle his.  He leaned in to kiss you softly, hands caressing up your back, feeling the tension in your shoulders.  He rubbed gently, as your own hands explored over his broad, warm chest.  You relaxed into him and his hands dipped to the hem of your shirt, tugging it up.  He pulled away from your lips to lift the shirt over your head, but quickly met with you again as he tossed it to the side.
His hands drifted to cup your breasts, as his tongue licked at your lips, requesting entry.  You parted them for him, your tongues meeting, as you arched your back to press your chest into his hands.  He stroked his fingers over your nipples, felt them stiffen beneath his practised touch.  When he heard you moan softly against his mouth, he pinched them gently, rolling them between his fingertips.  Your breathing quickened, and you moved your hips to grind against his, feeling the real version of him stirring beneath you.
He leaned forward into you, a gentle pressure to lay back, his hands sliding down your sides, to slide your hips off him.  He pulled away from the kiss as he lowered you onto the soft furs of his bed, reaching for the waistband of your legwear, tugging it and your underwear down your thighs, as you wriggled your legs to help him get them completely off you.
He stared down, drinking in the view of you bared completely to him, and he glanced to the side at the toy, glowing gently like a phallic nightlight.  You watched him, lips parted slightly.
“May I try something?”
“Such as?” You felt a little nervous, but you trusted him.  Completely.
“I want you to close your eyes, and let me touch you with it. I want you to describe to me how it feels. And please, I need you to tell me if it gets to be too much.”
You took a deep breath, and nodded.  “Yes.”
You exhaled that breath as you closed your eyes, forcing yourself to relax back into the furs.  You became acutely aware of the cool air on your skin, the warmth emanating from him between your knees, the rustle as he moved.  You gasped as you felt something cool and smooth touch your breastbone, your eyes fluttering open at the tingling sensation against your skin.
“Now, now.” You heard his voice, deep and soft.  “No cheating.”
“It surprised me.”
“I could always blindfold you, if that would be easier.”
You gave it a thought, and agreed.  He quickly took the soft fabric that had wrapped the toy, and folded into a strip.  You sat up so he could wrap it over your eyes, and tied it carefully behind your head.  When he was sure you could no longer see him, he took the opportunity to steal another kiss, before pressing his hands to your shoulders, signalling for you to lay back again.
He didn’t keep you waiting long as he brought the toy to touch your chest in the same spot as before, and slowly dragged it down to your navel.  You shivered at the sensation.
“How does it feel?” he asked curiously.
“It’s like you said, it tingles.  And it’s not fading very quickly.”
You felt him repeat the motion with a warm fingertip.  You shivered again.
“And that?”
“It’s … more intense.  It's more sensitive there now.”
You felt him drawing a few more stripes over your body, his fingers trailing in the wake of sensitised skin, and you raised your hand, fingers searching, wanting, needing to touch something, preferably his warm skin.  You felt his hand encircle your wrist, and press it back down at your side.
“Behave.  Or I might just have to use the vines on you again.”
Usually, you loved that playful threat.  Another time, you would have enjoyed being just defiant enough to push him to use it.  But tonight, you were already feeling close to overwhelmed, so instead, you gripped handfuls of the furs beneath you.
He watched as you clasped the fur, and, satisfied with your token of submission, he released your wrist.  He drifted his fingertips over your ribs, moving his hand to cup your breast, and a moment later, you felt the touch of the Sussur magic brushing against your nipple, making you gasp.  The prickling sensation lingered as he moved the toy to your other nipple, and dipped his head to take your sensitised little bud between his lips.  You gasped and arched your back as he suckled gently, the sensation so much more intense than usual.
He used his knee to press your thighs a little wider as he trailed the toy lazily down over your stomach, across your mound, and down lower, to dip the tip in your dripping slick, then slid it back up along your slit to the apex. He positioned the toy against your clit, and then let it rest against your thigh, taking that moment to shed the rest of his own clothing.  You felt your clit swelling in response to the touch, a throbbing ache between your thighs.  You wiggled your hips, tilting them slightly, trying to rub against the toy, desperate for some friction.
He noticed what you were doing, and smirked, as he tossed his clothing aside.
“It seems that is to your liking.”  You could only huff in response.  He removed the toy from its position, and you whined at the loss of contact.  You were rewarded as he dipped his head to lap gently at your aching bud.
“Please.” you moaned, desperately pressing your hips up to him.
“Not yet, my heart.  I want to see how you look with this inside you.  Do you think you can take it?.”
“Yes,” you gasped. “I … I want to try.”
He slid the toy along your slit, bathing it in your slick, listening to your breath stutter as the magical wood touched your sensitive skin.  He lined it up carefully with your entrance.
“My love.  You will tell me to stop if this is too much, or you feel any discomfort?”
“I will. Yes.” you promised.
“Good.”  He smiled down at you, and slowly began to press the thick toy inside you.  You gasped, the muscles in your thighs twitching at the sensation.  You breathed hard, working to relax around the toy.  He paused, giving you a moment to adjust to the feel of it, listening to your breathing, watching for any signs of discomfort from you.
“More?”
“Please.” You panted. “Gods, please, yes”
He pulled the toy back, and started thrusting it slowly, working it deeper and deeper with each push, watching the way your back arched up to meet his movements, the quiver in your thighs.  
“Oh my heart.  You’re taking it so well.  Just a little more.”
You whimpered at the praise, all sensation focused on the throbbing in your core, as he rocked the toy deeper into you.  The muscles in your thighs trembled, and you realised he had stopped moving the toy. He looked down at you, admiring the way you were stretched wide around it, your slick skin shining in the soft glow of the wood.  With one hand holding it gently in place, he leaned down again to put his lips to your clit, licking and sucking on it.
Between the shiver of magic running through your stuffed and full core, and the movement of his lips and tongue, you couldn’t help but lose control, crying out his name as your hips bucked up to meet his mouth, your sensitive walls clenching against the unyielding hardness of the toy.
You couldn’t see the grin on his face, you could only let out a stuttering gasp as you felt the toy being carefully slid out of you, followed by the soft rumble of his voice.
“Are you still alright, my love?”
“Yes.” Your voice was the barest of whispers, between panting breaths.  You felt the warmth of his body against yours, as he leant over you to tug on the silken fabric covering your eyes and toss it aside.  You blinked up at him, eyes dark, and he dipped down to kiss you, the taste of your own juices on his lips.  You raised your hands to thread your fingers through his hair, and this time, he didn’t correct your little act of defiance.
He pulled away from the kiss as he shifted his hips and you felt pressure against your dripping entrance again, every bit as rigid as the toy had been, only warmer.  Your gaze met his as you lifted your thighs to wrap them around his waist, and he reached a hand down to guide himself into you.  Thanks to the toy, you were more than ready to take him and with one strong thrust, he sank deep inside you, as you gasped out his name at the welcome intrusion, the prickle of the Sussur magic like an itch that you desperately wanted scratched.  He settled into a steady rhythm, massaging against your tingling walls, listening to the sounds of you whimpering beneath him, as your pleasure built again.  He moved to kiss his way down your neck, to your chest, the places he’d touched with the wood still more responsive.  You arched your back up to him as he took a nipple in his mouth, your hands gripping his shoulders, your thighs gripping his sides.  He felt your wet heat quivering around him.
“I want to feel you shatter over me, my love.”  he whispered breathlessly.  He deftly slipped a hand between your bodies, positioning his thumb to rub tight circles on your clit.  You moaned as he increased his pace, pounding into you, eyes closed in pleasure as he brought you to that edge, and tipped you over, your walls clenching hard around him.
His lips crashed against yours again, muffling the way you were about to scream his name; his tent might have been farthest away from the campfire, but you still didn’t need everyone else hearing you.  A few last deep thrusts and you felt him tense and pulse within you, following you in ecstasy.
He lay there on top of you for a few moments, as your hearts both slowed and your breathing became less ragged.  He wrapped you in his arms to roll you both to your sides, and you felt him slip out of you as he softened, a rush of warm liquid over your thighs.
“I wouldn’t want to crush you, my heart.”
“Would be one hell of a way to go.” you grinned, tilting your chin to kiss him gently.
He reached to the side for a cloth and some water, and carefully wiped the mess of your combined fluids gently off the both of you, also taking a moment to clean the carved wooden toy.  Once he was satisfied, he laid himself alongside you, and pulled a blanket up to cover you both.  Warm, strong arms wrapped around you to pull you in close, and you closed your eyes as he nuzzled against your neck.
“Sweet dreams, my heart.” he murmured.
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likeadevils · 29 days ago
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talk more about taylor lying to make a cleaner story! i also find it hilarious but am only aware of a few examples (love story, i wish you would). are there others that you can elaborate on?
yeah! a lot of these are going to be splitting hairs a bit, and i understand her reasoning for all of these, and also this is by far one of my favorite things about her like i love every time she does this.
speak now:
famously, taylor said originally speak now being solo-written was an accident, because she was spending so much time alone in hotels and writing at werid hours of the night. this is not true, she's said many times she lied about this and did it to prove that she was writing her own songs and not getting pity credits or whatever
(THIS IS THE MOST SUBJECTIVE AND OUTSIDER PERSPECTIVE ENTRY ON THE LIST) back to december makes it seem like taylor had much deeper feelings for taylor lautner than she did. i dont think they were ever exclusive; she wrote both enchanted and ours about other people while her and taylor were ostensibly dating. i think taylor squared just went on a couple dates and when lautner tried to make it exclusive in december, swift turned him down
the secret message to mine is 'toby', which is the name of the guy who starred in the music video. i have heard persistent rumors that mine is about a college guy she dated in early 2010, and his name might be toby, but at the very least she's trying to trick us
red:
taylor told this to the la times: “I knew I wanted to bookend the album with 'State of Grace' and 'Begin Again' because they're inspired by the same person who inspired a few songs on the record. I wanted to start and end the album with the first and last song I ever wrote about that relationship." i can't definitively say state of grace wasn't the first song she wrote about that relationship (though she has said all too well is the first song she wrote for the album), i can definitively say she wrote wanegbt four months after she wrote begin again
taylor said this about red: "When I'm writing a record, I kind of don't listen to much music [...] the only artists that I really listened to were Snow Patrol and Ed Sheeran, and that's the reason why I wanted to collaborate with those people on the record." taylor gave many updates on what she was listening to throughout writing red, most notably the arm lyrics on the speak now tour. she gave occasional shout outs to what she was listening to on twitter and instagram into the spring of 2012, and various artists have talked about her complimenting recently relased songs at the time. this is one of my favorites like this made me laugh out loud when i first read it
the secret message for everything has changed, a song she wrote in may, is "hyiannis port", implying that it is about her relationship with connnor kenedy, who she met two months after writing the song
every single time she implied ikywt was about harry in 2013. i don't think it's a complete lie, but she did start writing the song about three months before she met him. finished it after the first time they broke up though
1989:
while taylor (as far as we know) did not have a long term boyfriend in 2013, she did go on dates (funniest one is with tom odell, who wrote this song about her), and it seems like some of those dates were with the intention of finding something more permanent (hence her disappointed "Dating is awful. Love is fiction/ a myth. I’m over it all.").
this and many, many interviewers where taylor says that she got the idea to make a 80s album after losing album of the year at the grammy's (she tells a lot of different stories about that night). bonus points if she says she had “accidentally” been incorporating 80s synths before that. it seems like taylor had the idea to make an 80s pop album around may of 2013 (to many little sources for this one, check my 1989 timeline), and taylor explicitly requested ryan tedder to make 80s pop for her before the grammy's where she lost album of the year.
taylor did not move to new york until after 1989 (at least non-tv) was finished
taylor didn't move from nashville to new york. she largely moved out of nashville to LA in early 2012, and spent a good portion of 2013 split between LA and rhode island.
reputation
taylor: "'I Did Something Bad' I wrote after Arya and Sansa conspire to kill Littlefinger." that episode aired in august of 2017. we have video proof of her writing idsb in october of 2016. now, filming for that season did begin in august of 2016 and lasted for another 6 months, so she could've been receiving insider information? but in the same article she said she was avoiding spoilers and she seems to be unaware of the upcoming events in season 8. i don't know what's going on here i love it
various sessioners have reported that taylor said she wrote all the songs on reputation for reputation, not years in advance. it seems like she had some lyrics for ready for it, dress, and new years day written years in advance. this is the most nit picky entry on this list and i’m annoying myself just by writing it
lover
taylor: "I posted [the seven palm trees] the day the I finished the seventh album." taylor did not finish the album in february, she definitely added death by a thousand cuts after april 24, and likely added london boy in july, something she knew at the time of giving the interview.
this interview about the making of lover (the song): "Interviewer: [Jack] was calling that the Paul bass, is that Paul McCartney? Taylor: Yeah. [Two seconds later] Jack: It's not a true Paul bass at all."
folklore and evermore
the statement that inspired this post, that folklore was the first time taylor wrote non-autobiographical songs! not true! large swathes of debut, fearless, and speak now are about made up scenarios! best believe taylor swift, born in 1989, did not meet bobby on the boardwalk in the summer of '45!
this interview with paul mccartney, where she says there is a song on folklore about "a pioneer woman in a forbidden love affair" (ivy, a song on evermore), and when asked what books inspired her on folklore, named Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier, the book that inspired tolerate it (another song on evermore).
edit cause i forgot: those joe credits on folklore are. so funny. no he did not. like i generally take taylor at something approximating her word but i'm gonna need some proof on this one. exile and betty i buy everything else is ridiculous. queen shit though
as for midnights-on, only time will tell. she also just does less interviews now so there’s less opportunities to catch her flubbing
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jiraisupportgroup · 10 days ago
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˗ˋˏ ♡ Jirai Kei Survey Results ♡ ˎˊ˗
(NOTE!! I re-opened it because I saw some people saying they were sad they didn’t respond!! It’s open again! You can take it here)
Hi hi!!! First of all, I'm so sorry that this took me like an entire month to make, and second of all thank you to everyone who participated in the survey I posted a while ago! It got 89 total responses which is awesome!! So many more than I was expecting, you guys are awesome ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
I've got a spreadsheet of all the answers given in October 2024 here if you want to go view them for yourself ^-^ (I have redacted pronouns and location for privacy sake)
I also went through and read everyone's answers and pulled some of the main points / focuses people had to make into little graphics for simplification and comparison's sake (This is a huge part of why it took so long because I didn't want to misrepresent anyone's points so I went person by person and considered all of their answers and overall vibe before pulling the main points just to make sure I wasn't accidentally changing or misunderstanding their points).
Please keep in mind: 89 people is NOT a large enough sample size to extrapolate this to the entirety of the Jirai Kei community - this is really just an exploration of the people who answered the survey - it does not represent the feelings of the community as a whole. This survey is derived from the western community as the survey is in English and was posted in primarily English-speaking areas.
Also just as a note I messed up when making the selections for the ages and put 18-21 and then 21-25 so people of the age of 21 could have picked either - this isn't ideal but since I messed it up in the original choice options I'm keeping it listed as that because I think changing 21-25 to 22-25 would be disingenuous.
I'm going to go question by question and kind of break it down if you're interested! I'm also going to try and remain mostly neutral and not really put my personal opinions in here. My main goal is to kind of break down what was said in the survey.
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Demographics:
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It's a pretty good mix of people. Also, hi!!! So many of you are from so far away!!!! That was really exciting to see. To be honest, it was super cool to see how this community encompasses people from all over the world!!! (Also, as a note here, there was one person who answered the survey who was over 40. I included their answers in the 26-30 range just for simplicity sake.)
I also did not make a graphic for the pronouns: primarily she / her, followed by they / them or any / all, followed by he / him or he / they pronouns just in case you were curious. I also took the pronouns out of the original answers document since I know quite a few people use neo-pronouns which are quite unique and I didn't want anyone to see those and connect that person to their answers, I wanted it to remain as anonymous as possible. I redacted the locations for the same reason.
I did not make a graphic for the languages either but those are included in the original answers spreadsheet that I have linked above. Many people speak Japanese, Russian, German, Spanish, and French. Those were the main answers besides English.
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I don't have too much to say about the social medias to be honest. Discord, Youtube, and Twitch are likely under-represented in this since they were write-ins and not part of the general selection.
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How did you first hear about Jirai Kei?
I don't have a graphic for this one either. It looks like most people learned about it because they already had an interest in j-fashion. A decent number of people mentioned Needy Streamer Overload. Lots of people came from Pinterest, Instagram, TikTok, and Tumblr. Many people also said they were into Menhera and came from there.
How would you describe Jirai Kei to someone who hasn't heard of it before?
Again, no graphic for this one - highly reccommend to go read some of the answers on the linked sheet above. It was pretty split between people talking about the aesthetics & fashion vs people talking about the mental health community. A lot of people mentioned that if they were talking to someone they didn't know very well or who didn't have any knowledge of j-fashion they would say it's a style and move on, while if they were talking to a friend or someone who did know a little more about j-fashion they would talk more about the mental health aspects and history of the subculture.
A few quotes (I'm trying to get a good mixture of opinions in here, please note these are mostly smaller parts of larger answers - this goes for all the quotes added in this post): ♡ "Usually it's easier for me to just send the wikipedia link to people though honestly" ♡ "a subculture of mostly young women with mental illness who share certain interests in jfashion etc..." ♡ "...a lot of ppl often tell me it just sounds like the jp version of emo." ♡ "A subculture for mentally ill people who can’t, won’t, or don’t want to recover" ♡ "depending on my knowledge on their opinions on mental health, i'd either go with a basic explanation of the fashion if they dont seem like the type to be sympathetic of ppl with mental health issues, but if they seem like the sympathetic type, i'd go more into detail of the origins and lifestyle associated with the subculture." ♡ "Being cute despite your mental illness! Also a bit of consumerism and idol worship..." ♡ "It's mainly a stereotype" ♡ "I would recommend watching cybr.grls video on jirai kei " ♡ "It’s an alternative japanese fashion style with frilly, lacey, and dark garments! The main colors it will be are very muted pinks, blacks, grays, whites, or even reds or purples (albeit rare)" ♡ "Jirai Kei is the term used to describe the fashion style related to Jirais / Landmines , which was a derogatory term used to describe mentally ill girls who had an “explosive” personality , wearing cute clothing to distract / hide men from their personality. It usually consists of frills , ribbons and lace , blouses and skirts , with a colour palette of black and muted colour varients like pink and blue , and white. "
To your understanding where does Jirai Kei come from? What's it's history?
Again, no graphic for this one (T-T these are just too complex for me to comfortably break down into bite-size pieces). Most people talked about the Toyoko kids, a bit less talked about host / hostess clubs, and quite a few vague nods to Kabukicho in general. About a fifth of the people just talked about overall mental health in Japan. Interesting mixture of answers - different people seem to latch on to different parts of the origins, which is likely based on what they relate with the most. I was surprised that only a few people mentioned the "Jirai Kei" makeup trend of 2019/2020 - I honestly thought that would be talked about a little bit more ngl. Interesting read for sure.
A few quotes: ♡ "jirai kei became seen as clothes worn by dangerous or unstable women, hence the trend " ♡ "the history between jirai kei && the toyoko kids sometimes get mixed together because of their resemblances , but it's important to note the two are different . jirai kei define an instable person who will explode at some point like a bomb , but you don't know when ( landmine ) . initially , it was mostly used to refer to girls who threaten their boyfriend to kill him or themselves if the boy left them . since jirais are disordered or mentally ill , they often engage in unhealthy behaviours . the toyoko kids on the other hand are teens who ran away from home to live in the streets instead . most of them suffered from abuse && causally have disorders or illnesses . this is where the two subcultures came together to form one : the jirai kei we know now..." ♡ " The clothing style that is most typically seen on social media stems from the fact that these clothes where cute but cheap to come by. " ♡ "Jirai kei as a term originated from misogynistic men calling mentally ill women “explosive.” The style came from poor (unfortunately, often sex workers) youth in Japan. It how we’ve became popularized and somewhat mainstream there after a while." ♡ "then in 2020 people started dressing up in stereotypical "toyoko kid/jirai woman style" to make fun of them before brands saw how popular this trend became and decided to start selling clothes based off this idea. the original style is known as dark girly kei which uses elements from both dark girly and girly kei the latter being a style that was popular with 2010s gyaru and evolved to incorporate french girly and dark girly motifs making it what it is today. other styles such as subcul and suna kei are also extremely popular with jirai to the point of being synonymous with the style." ♡ "...Thus, the fashion style was associate with "Jirai Onna" and became "Jirai Kei". The fashion style extended beyond Kabukicho and many girls and women wear the style in Japan due to the kawaii look and the popularity of the style within many fashion brands. Another demographic that has popularised Jirai Kei is idol fangirls who wore girly kei and jirai kei fashion. The style was also given the term "ryousangata" meaning "mass produced" an insult basically calling the girls who wear the style "basic"."
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What do you think differentiates Jirai Kei from other subcultures?
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Okay since this is the first type of this graphic we're seeing let me explain what you're looking at. I took key points or words and quantified how many people mentioned it as a larger part of their explanation. There were a LOT of other things mentioned these were just the ones that came up repeatedly.
Many people were confused by this question and said there are too many differences to even describe, which is completely fair. There were two main types of answers to this question. The first is that fashion is what makes it different because it's a fashion-based subculture or if not fashion-based, fashion is a big part of it. The other is that it's a community based around mental health primarily unlike other subcultures which are based on fashion or music. A lot of people who mentioned this went on to say that the thing that differentiates it from Menhera specifically (because menhera is also based in mental and physical health) was the idea that Menhera is very recovery, resource, and awareness focused, while Jirai Kei isn't focused on those things at all and is more so just people looking for a sense of community.
A few quotes: ‪♡ "menhera is art and advocacy focused, jirai is community focused. menhera also is more recovery focused often, whereas jirai places no emphasis on that at all" ‪♡ "Dawg idk how to tell you this… there’s too many examples and they’re all so different" ♡ "For starters, its background story, the clothing doesn't look the same either.... Jirai culture is not really focused on getting better mentally, much on the contrary... being mentally ill is praised, spending an insane amount of money on clothes you don't exactly need is praised...." ‪♡ "I’ve seen jp jirais say that jirai kei is whatever a jirai girl chooses to wear, it can literally be anything. However, at the moment it visually is a combination of menhera and dark girly kei. Because it’s new though, it’s already having subsets form and change that." ♡ "i think jirai is unique in its rejection of the “just get better” culture a lot of places have. Most people think of inability or unwillingness to improve a moral failing. " ‪♡ "Jirai Kei has a distinct history and recognisable style" ♡ "menhera is about finding a community that wishes to accept you and want to encourage you to get better jirai kei is not about wanting to get better thats a very important distinction" ♡ " - idk how to explain??? It’s like asking what differenciates gyaru and goth lol" ♡ "the subcul is definitely viewed in an extremely negative way compared to other subculs, even menhera. I also think that other subculs like Emo, Anime, and Idol culture revolve a lot around the fashion aspect. While jirai is best known for the Dark Girly fashion, i think that jirai in itself, as mentioned before, is more about the lifestyle that we life, our mental health, and the struggles we go through either on purpose or not" ‪♡ "for many i'd say the fashion is what differenciates them. while they can overlap with common traits under the other subcultures, it's still quite different." ♡ "i do believe that the associated fashions (again, not just dark girly, but also tenshi kaiwai, subcul, etc.) are necessary to set a landmine apart from these cultures. the fashions is a huge part of the subculture and sets it apart from these other mental-health based subcultures. that is why i personally believe that a landmine must at least wear the associated fashions OCCASIONALLY to be considered part of the subculture."
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What kind of Jirai Kei content do you engage with the most?
This one again, no graphic. Top answer was outfit / coord posts (82%), second most common was vent posts (67.4%), third was dark humour (58.2%)
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Are you interested in the fashions associated with Jirai Kei? Which ones?
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Again, not too much to say overall about this.
One thing to note is that some of these answers could technically be lumped in with other ones, like "all of them" could be counted towards Dark Girly Kei, Girly Kei, Tenshi Kaiwai, etc but I kept it separate. Same with "Jirai IS the fashion" which could be lumped into Dark Girly Kei but again I kept it separate unless they mentioned it in their answer.
The one that isn't like that is "No Interest" because if someone was of the mind that the fashion is called Jirai Kei and said they weren't interested in the other fashions they're in the "Jirai IS the fashion" count, while the people in the "No Interest" count were of the idea that the name of the fashion is not Jirai Kei and is rather Dark Girly Kei so they have their own count.
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What role do you think the asssociated fashions play in Jirai Kei? Do you need to wear them to be considered "Jirai" or part of the community?
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Again, this has been vastly simplified but I tried really hard not to misunderstand or misrepresent anyone's points. The categories names are a bit strange so let me explain what I mean by them:
‪♡ "No, it's a lifestyle" - This person believes that you do not have to wear the associated fashions to be part of the Jirai Kei community because it is first and foremost a subculture based around mental health and finding people who relate to you that you can talk to about these things. They also tend to believe "Jirai Kei" is the not proper name for the fashion, and that to be part of the Jirai Kei community you must be either mentally ill or at least open and understanding about mental illness. ‪♡ "No, it's both a lifestyle and a fashion" - This person believes that you do not have to wear the associated fashions to be part of the Jirai Kei community. They tend to believe that Jirai Kei is both a lifestyle and a fashion, and you can participate in either the overarching mental health community based around Jirai Kei or the fashion side of things and be accepted either way. This kind of answer tended to imply that both the people looking for a mental health-related safe space and people who just like the fashion are welcome. ‪♡ "Yes, it's both a lifestyle and a fashion" - This person believes you do have to wear the associated fashions to be part of the Jirai Kei community. They tend to believe that Jirai Kei is the proper title for both the mental health subculture and the overarching fashion and you have to participate in both to be considered part of the Jirai Kei community. ‪♡ "Yes, it's a fashion" - This person believes Jirai Kei is a fashion style, if you wear it, you are welcome in the Jirai Kei community.
A few quotes: ‪♡ "the fashion has almost taken over the community, and overshadows its origins." ‪♡ "I don‘t think the Fashion is the central aspect, but it brings people in. It’s historically speaking a part of Jirai Kei, but not the most inportant thing. You can be Jirai and not dress like it." ‪♡ "Yes to be considered Jirai one should wear the clothing of the subculture they are trying to claim. I don’t think you have to branch out into any jirai substyles though if it’s not your vibe." ‪♡ "No if you're a lifestyle jirai, yes if you're a fashion jirai. If you're a lifestyle jirai I think just wanting to be jirai is enough" ‪♡ "i definitely do think that people who dont wear the fashion can be considered jirai, as thats how the word originally got its meaning, though nowadays its definitely more recognized as a fashion style." ‪♡ "It's just a part of the stereotype because a lot of us happen to wear it not because we need to." ‪♡ "it’s such an enormous part of the subculture that leaving out the fashion aspect makes your “landmineness” indistinguishable from a thousand other subcultures." ‪♡ "i think the fashion gave way to helping people who are mentally unwell or don’t feel good find and outlet to feel better, wether it be makeup, or the clothes for me it makes me feel pretty and distracts from the fact i’m depressed. i think just wearing “jirai” as a fashion or style doesn’t necessarily mean you are unwell though, you can participate and be okay in the head lmao, and ofc be in the community. i think the problem lies within the title of jirai. " ‪♡ "i don't think you necessarily NEED to wear them to be jirai, but i think that an interest in them is pretty important because the fashion and aesthetics are closely intertwined with the subculture " ‪♡ "I actually think the biggest thing to a Jirai look is Jirai makeup. I think as long as you have that, then you are Jirai enough. " ‪♡ "While I don't think you have to wear the fashion to be jirai, the fashion does play a big part in the subculture and people need to acknowledge that. " ‪♡ "to an extent, yes you do, but it's more important just to have an interest in them. nobody needs to wear them 24/7 and if you can't afford clothes then it is what it is, but you can't really call yourself jirai if you have no interest in one of the main aspects of the subculture (the aesthetics)" ‪♡ "nah, as long as u wear alternative fashion and know ur shit and participate in the culture ur fine."
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Can non-Japanese people be "Jirai"? Why or why not?
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Most people said yes (which is kind of to be expected since this is in English and most of the people who answered are not Japanese so I will note this is biased), but a lot of people brought up different points.
Some of the "yes" pool are people who believe Jirai Kei is just a fashion and brought that up as their point. Some of the "yes" pool are people who are more into the mental health side of things and talked about how people in different countries still experience mental struggles and that's something everyone can relate to in their own way.
The "Yes but it's different" pool is mostly comprised of people talking about the mental health aspects of the community and mentioning that although foreigners can be part of the Jirai Kei community, it is important to understand that the things that many Japanese "Jirai"s go through are things that we will not experience due to the differences in our mental health care resources / infrastructure and the infrastructure of the Japanese sex-work industry. Essentially, we can go through really similar things but the overall cultures make it quite different.
Some Quotes: ‪♡ "yes, especially when a trend originally comes from sex work in which non-japanese people living in japan are overrepresented." ‪♡ "Yes, I’ve seen from the pov’s of Japanese landmines and they are open to it because we’re all supposed to be there for each other because nobody else is" ♡ ‪"Yeah, I think they can be, BUT they shouldn't go around acting like they are the template for what a landmine is, or demanding changes to the culture, just because they wear the fashion and/or are mentally ill. It's roots lie in Japan, so the "originals" are still Japanese Jirais" ‪♡ "of course they can ! never did the term refer to exclusively japanese people . even when the initial term " merged " with the toyoko kids , it didn't make it an exclusively japanese term . as long as you fit the " criterias " , you can be a jirai if you choose to label yourself as one ! ♡" ‪♡ "Nowadays I'd like to consider it a fashion style and fashion styles travel all around the world as long as u don't claim to be japanese cause you are wearing jirai you are good. You should also respect and learn the story of the style before u decide to wear it since it's more troubling than other styles." ‪♡ "Very unlikely. There are many factors that would eliminate most people to be "true Jirai kei" ie. experiencing homelessness as well as involved with sex work and host club addiction. Emily from the suburbs who lives with her family and has depression could not be Jirai kei but can partake in the cool fashion. Calling themselves Jirai would not be up to par with the real meaning of it." ‪♡ "Yes. The Japanese jirais don’t seem to disagree so I’m not sure why I would." ‪♡ "yes of course, its important to say that non japanese people often have different issues as japanese people but that doesnt make them less valid meaning they can still use the style as representation of their own issues" ‪♡ "yes and no. if you disregard the fashion and makeup or frame jirai kei as a "menhera" community when its not then you dont really deserve to call yourself a jirai onna. acknowledging that your generally live a better life because of your privilege of being outside of japan. though i can understand calling yourself a jirai onna if you suffer extremely similar problems to that of toyoko kids especially if you suffer from BPD." ‪♡ "Ofc it's clothes" ‪♡ "Yes, of course! Jirai kei is for anyone and I don't see a reason why people can't participate/ want to gatekeep it. I just think it's important to learn about the history and not be a jerk to those who participate in only the lifestyle or only the fashion part."
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What does "Jirai Kei" mean to you personally? Why do you associate with the subculture?
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I chose to make a word map for this to kind of point towards some of the most repeated words throughout the answers. A lot of these answers are very sad to read (just a heads up before you start going through them), but that is kind of to be expected. Most people mention mental illness and personal struggles with things like EDs, SH, alcoholism, other unhealthy coping mechanisms, or relationship issues. The thing that really stood out to me was that a majority of the people who are of the idea that "Jirai Kei" is the name of the fashion still brought up how the community feels comforting to them because they struggle with mental illnesses and relationship issues. Very few people just said "I like the clothes", most people also mentioned mental struggles in their answers.
I think that's an important thing to note. It really highlights the fact that you never know what someone is going through behind the screen. You only know what they choose to post, and many people choose to post cute outfit photos and things of that nature, but they still can be hurting behind all of that.
A few quotes: ‪♡ "it’s comforting to identify as one and feel like there’s a subculture out there of people who feel similarly to me. everyone connects with the label in different ways" "I like being able to relate with people and have somewhere to post my vents and get things off my chest without judgment" ‪♡ " i was paranoid for not being mentally ill enough for the community, i was absolutely terrified of making jirais mad at me and being rejected. to this day i am terrified of the day when they decide i did not suffer enough to be a jirai. but such a thought is twisted in and of itself, right?" ‪♡ " I love dressing up as fashion is a major coping mechanism for me and I feel delighted at being able to express myself through clothes: it is an art form. Dressing in the subculture's fashions has allowed me to express myself and come to terms with my experiences and who they made me today." ‪♡ "Funny enough my mom calls me a jirai girl (in a derogatory way since she has a typical older japanese person mindset) but i don't mind saying that i am one without shame. especially because i don't believe that my mental illness is something that should be stigmatized and judged. calling myself jirai feels liberating in a way..." ‪♡ "I feel like because I cannot wear the style (not enough money + sizing is difficult) I cannot call myself Jirai kei but I notice others who don’t wear the style call themselves Jirai, which is comforting. I’ve always struggled with mental health for most of my life and I’ve always loved Jfashion subcultures, so obviously I was drawn to Jirai." ‪♡ " i do think people who just wear dark girly kei should be careful when using the term jirai kei if they aren't in the subculture though. i see people say they're jirai and then mock the mentally ill people like?? you aren't jirai you WEAR jirai kei 💀💀 there is a difference!!" ‪♡ "i am also transgender - my girlhood is very important and nostalgic to me but it is also inseparable from dysphoria and sickness, and i think dark girly/jirai fashion helps me to express that." ‪♡ "I found I appreciated the relaxed attitude towards mental health struggles, nightlife activities and a visual indicator that someone might be a little “dangerous” or someone that likes to party." ‪♡ "when I first started, "I want to become cute!" was a big theme I was seeing. I can be cute even though I'm ugly and have bad mental health and it's ok. the style of the clothes is the biggest appeal." ‪♡ "I honeslty really only associate myself with the fashion aspect of it, since it’s something I really love. So instead of calling myself “Jirai”, I like to say I “dress in Jirai” instead." ‪♡ "To me, it's just the clothes. I don't call myself Jirai by itself because it's insulting"
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What would you say the pre-requisites to being part of the Jirai Kei community are?
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40% of people mentioned mental illness or struggles as a main part of the subculture. There were different approaches to the way that they mentioned it though. Some people were saying "you should be mentally ill since 'Jirai' is an insult used against mentally ill people and the explosive nature is part of the subculture" and others were saying "If you are mentally healthy you should stay away from Jirai Kei to protect yourself because you're going to see triggering things".
Many people said you don't have to be mentally ill to be part of the community, but you should understand that you are going to be interacting with people who are mentally ill and not bully people for venting. Some people said you have to be mentally ill and not wanting or willing to recover to be part of the community (although this was only 3% of people).
On the other hand, about 16% of people said that the only thing you need to do to be part of the community is wear the clothing.
People who mentioned both mental illness and clothing in their answers were divided into 4 different categories: ‪♡ "Mental illness" - they mention the fashion but state is it not a requirement for the community ‪♡ "Wear the fashion" - they may or may not mention mental illness, but do not think it is a requirement for the community ‪♡ "Wear the clothes AND be mentally ill" - they mention both and think both are required for the community ‪♡ "Wear the clothes OR be mentally ill" - they mention both and think you can either participate in the fashion side of things or the mental health side of things, but you don't have to participate in both.
Many people also mentioned doing the makeup as a big part of it. Some of the people who mentioned makeup as a requirement said that even if you don't wear the clothes as long as you do the makeup you're good.
A lot of people also said if you like the clothes or the community or whatever you're all good, so long as you don't bully anyone. Their general vibe was that anyone is welcome to hang out so long as they aren't mean to others. (Many people counted in the "don't be mean to 'fashion' onlys are also counted in the "don't be mean to 'lifestyle' onlys category as well. And as a note a lot of them didn't use those terms specifically I just used them to shorten "people who only wear the clothing" and "people who only participate in the mental health community" because those are looooooooong titles)
There isn't an overarching general consensus. It is very split and debated. (Which we all know). A lot of people were very passionate about their definitions though, which is to be expected. Mental health is a very touchy and personal topic for a lot of people, so people on both sides have really passionate emotions about it.
A few quotes: ‪♡ "i think people who are mentally healthy should stay away from the community; both so they don’t judge those whose thoughts they don’t understand but also for their own protection and comfort. the topics talked about in jirai spaces are triggering and disturbing. i don’t blame, nor judge jirais forthe abusive behavior neurotypicals could accuse them of — it is often not their fault and a mentally healthy person could easily harm a jirai as well. i think such interactions would end up with mutual suffering on each side." ‪♡ " to call yourself a jirai you need to wear the makeup, the clothes, and suffer from some sort of mental illness especially if your livelihood is often threatened by the fact you have these conditions. and its OKAY to not cal yourself a jirai its NOT A GOOD THING to want to be a jirai mentally ill people who call themselves jirai onna are mentally ill and just find comfort in some form by the title." ‪♡ ". i do feel like these are two separate communities with some overlap, especially with the recent western discourse. i don't like these terms as i feel they are a bit harsh but there is a difference between "fashion only jirai" and "lifestyle jirai". of course anyone can appreciate cool clothes but the landmine side of the community deserves a safe space to talk about their issues and relate to each ‪other without uneducated jirai kei wearers bashing them" ‪♡ "i wouldnt say you necessarily have to be struggling mentally to be considered jirai kei, but i dont personally like the way some fashion only jirais negatively talk about the more lifestyle jirais at times. i also however dont think lifestyle jirais should be actively trying to call people out for being a fashion only jirai. it could end up being quite harmful, as you never really know what people are going through." ‪♡ "You may have a mental illness such as BPD which directly links to the “Explosive Landmine” personality. Otherwise it’s fine to just call yourself a Fashion Landmine and only wear Jirai Kei without “being Jirai”." ‪♡ "It really depends on if someone likes the fashion only, identifies as a jirai (landmine person), or both. Someone who likes the fashion may just say they dress in jirai kei clothes. Also, just because someone identifies themselves as a stereotypical jirai and calls themselves just landmine doesn't always mean they wear the fashion either; although it's more common for someone to do both and straight-up call themselves jirai." ‪♡ "being mentally ill (and i mean... cmon a little more than just depression and anxiety because like all of gen z struggles with that((this isn't the mental illness olympics but this is meant to be a safe space for people struggling with more severe illnesses))) and owning like a few coords that isn't that one DML coord that everyone has and wearing the damn makeup" ‪♡ "I think just respecting the community. You don't have to be "mentally ill enough" to join but you do need to respect people no matter their problems and coping mechanisms." ‪♡ "Hot take but if you’re not a Jirai in Japan you’re not a true Jirai and I don’t mean the fashion I’m talking about life choices . You can wear the fashion without having to call yourself a landmine" ‪♡ "there's no requirement, anyone can wear the fashion. it's just clothes."
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Do you feel like there is a difference between "Jirai Kei" and "Landmine Kei"?
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Most people said no, which is the kind of idea that I had but I wanted to ask because I have seen people use them in different ways. Most of the people who said yes said that in English-speaking circles Landmine is used more to talk about the mental health aspects of things while Jirai is used more when talking about the fashion or overall community. Which I think is interesting. It seems to me that separating Landmine and Jirai is another way that people try to separate the clothing from the mental health community like the distinction people make between Jirai Kei and Dark Girly Kei fashions. (Anything else I have to say here would go into my own opinions so I'm going to leave it at that - it's an interesting thing to think about).
A few quotes: ♡ "i believe there is a difference between simply wearing jirai kei and being a landmine. people in the english speaking community generally use landmine kei to describe the mentally ill side of the community even though jirai literally means landmine. i only see landmine kei used in context of like the fashion mine vs lifestyle mine debate." ♡ "From my experience, I have seen many English speakers misinterpret the term 'Jirai Kei' and water it down to fashion but, of course, that shouldn't represent all of the English-speakers partaking in the discussion." ♡ "Anywho considering Jirai is a direct translation to Landmine, I don’t see how they could be any different." ♡ "I think Landmine Kei is more dressing up as the stereotype and Jirai Kei is the lifestyle that predates the stereotype." ♡ "I feel like calling it landmine kei does alert people more to the mental health side of the subculture"
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What is your favourite part of the Jirai Kei Subculture?
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This was a combined question "What is your favourite and least-favourite part of the subculture" and most people skipped the favourites part and started just talking about what they hate which did make me a little bit sad. I really liked reading about what people liked in the community.
Most people said the fashion was their favourite part. Both people who said that Jirai Kei is a mental health-based community and people who said Jirai Kei is a fashion-based community brought up fashion as a favourite part of theirs.
"Community" is a very vague thing - in this context, it mostly means they were talking about how they share a lot in common with people in the community whether that be fashion, idols, music, aesthetics, mental health, etc. However, most of the people who mentioned mental health as a main part of why they love the community are counted in "Safe Space" instead.
A few quotes: ♡ "I have dealt with a ton of ableism and med shaming before irl and in other places online, but never in the jirai community. So it makes me happy that I can vent without people treating me like I'm "crazy" or trying to force dramatic changes onto me." ♡ "I love the clothes so much of course so the aesthetic of the fashion is my favorite." ♡ "The clothes of course, I really loved visiting the clothes shops in Japan. People in Japan are really nice about my clothing and often compliment me when I wear Jirai Kei, plus all of the shopgirls are really kind." ♡ "my fav part is the super cute clothes and how u can meet so many other ppl who not only have the same fashion style, but also similiar/same issues/experiences as you, so you can share pretty much anything with no judging at all!!! ^_^" ♡ "I like having a place where I can be open about the reality of my mental illnesses without being bombarded with “solutions”." ♡ "i love wearing cute outfits, seeing other people's codes and seeing other landmines experiences ." ♡ "the fact that people actually understand how i think / feel most of the time , and that i won't get weird looks / i won't be judged for things" ♡ "Most favourite: people identifying each other and bonding over shared experiences (and of course, the fashion)" ♡ "I love the community as a space for people on all lines of recovery to come together and exist without judgement" ♡ "My favorite part of the subculture is blogs, the fact that the people in the community get to share their thoughts & be related to & validated makes me really happy" ♡ "I love how empowering Jirai Kei makes me feel."
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What is your least favourite part of the Jirai Kei subculture?
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NOTE BECAUSE SOME OF THEM GOT CUT OFF: ‪♡ "People who say you have to be..." is "People who say you have to be mentally ill" ‪♡ "People who use mental illness as an..." is "people who use mental illness as an excuse to be mean" ‪♡ "People who say you have to buy" is "people who say you have to buy certain brands"
The top answer was fashion Jirais. This is a combination of people who specifically said the term "Fashion Jirai" and people who said things like "people who only wear the clothes" or "people who think the community is just cute clothes and ignore the mental illness aspect of it". I combined those into the same count.
"Anti-recovery" as a category is more than just people talking about how recovery isn't front and centre like Menhera, or people talking about venting - it is specifically people who talked about people who say you cannot be in recovery if you are part of the Jirai Kei community.
"Glamorization of Sh/Ed" also is more than just people talking about posts that talk about those things, it is people who specifically said it is over-romanticized / glamourized. And as a note this is different from "lifestyle Jirais" since that category includes people that are just talking about vent posts or mention "lifestyle jirai"s by name.
"Lifestyle Jirais" and "People who don't wear the clothes" are also two different categories, lifestyle jirais is either people who said that by name or were talking about people who vent or think the community is mental-health based, and "people who don't wear the clothes" is just that, it's the people who specifically called that out.
I don't have too much to add here since I can't really add anything here without stating my personal opinions which isn't what I'm trying to do right now. I did find it comforting that most other people are sick of the discourse, and it's both people who think Jirai Kei is fashion-based and people who think Jirai Kei is mental health-based that were saying this.
A few quotes: ♡ "But there are legit people on here who act like you're 'fake' if you aren't attempting suicide every hour or something lmao" ♡ "i'm sick of sharing my safe space with people who think it's just a pink blouse and some short skirts and a bow." ♡ "putting a label on jirai that you have to act a certain way seems wrong. some rules and bashing on other girls wanting to wear the fashion is very wrong too." ♡ "i’m simply utterly terrified of rejection." ♡ "My least favorite would probably have to be those who promote self harm or say you have to engage in some sort of dangerous stuff to be a part of the subculture. While many of us do struggle with these things, it's super unnecessary to push people (mostly the fashion only jirai keis) to harm themselves." ♡ "least fav is that there are a lot of gatekeepers who want you to prove that you're actually mentally ill or they turn it into a competition of who's suffering the most. I also don't like how many jirai are anti recovery if someone chooses to recover (not forced, but their own choice). and I don't like that there are some really young kids in the community, like 13 and under" ♡ "I hate the people who slap a random pink shirt on and a black mini skirt and call it jirai because it’s not. Jirai is so much more than pink and black." ♡ "least fav is probably the fact how some ppl will say the most vile shit ever and use the fact that theyre a jirai as an excuse (it can always be a reason for said behavior, but never an excuse!! 😭😭)" ♡ "fashion "jirais". i don't like discourse at all , but i really wish people would understand the whole point of jirai kei before calling themselves a landmine :(" ♡ "the least, however, are the people who say you "dont need to be mentally ill to call yourself jirai" which is just ridiculous" ♡ "I don't like the narrative that we have to buy from the original designer or it's not Jirai, that's just buying into what the fashion industry wants you to think. A fashion is a style, not a designer brand. Quite frankly I just don't like being limited to certain brands." ♡ "Constant discourse (assuming that people can't resonate with the subcul just because they're not as vocal about their experiences as the others PLUS the bullying of actual people who struggle for venting when that is the core of this subcul)" ♡ "i wish it was more mature because many jirai people are in their early teens (12-14) and i feel the need to act as a role model in spaces that include minors, rather than speaking freely as i would normally among people closer to my age" ♡ "least favourite: weird gatekeeping (eg. "you can't wear jirai kei because you're not mentally ill""), shaming peoples looks and fatshaming in general" ♡ "My least favorite is the ones who say you have to be anti-recovery to be jirai. It's okay to be tired of hurting." ♡ "i detest the infighting, and the way that it's rapidly growing is kind of pissing me off because im more comfortable in smaller communities" ♡ "As for least favourite, glorification of ED and SH (I must note, glorification, not just the fact people discuss/have it in the community) as well as the fatphobia and such"
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Overall very interesting read and very mixed responses, but also not actually as mixed as I thought they would be. Most people landed somewhere in the middle where they considered both fashion and mental health to be parts of the subculture and just had different levels of importance for those two things. Most people also did mention mental health being part of their reasoning for being here, whether they engage more in the fashion side of things or the mental health side of things.
If there are any clarifying questions about what the titles of things in these graphs really mean or why I chose to break things down in the way that I did I am more than happy to provide clarification to that! I'll try to respond to any comments like that as soon as I can. I won't be engaging in discourse or defending any points or anything (at least not here) - this is more about the answers to the survey and not my personal opinions so pls understand T-T.
If you read all that mess thank you! Took me a while to actually get all of this compiled. If you didn't thank you regardless! Especially if you responded in the survey to begin with ♡
Also if anyone is uncomfortable with their answer being posted in the answers document please contact me either on Tumblr @jiraisupportgroup or on Reddit @ Mara-melody (DMs should be open on both) with the details about which response was yours and I will delete it from the publicly available document! Thank you!!
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gothamcitycentral · 7 months ago
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Hazbin establishes very strong parallels between Charlie and Vaggie’s relationship and Lucifer and Lilith’s.
Charlie being as to Lucifer, the fantastical dreamer discouraged and rejected by the world around them.
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Vaggie being as to Lilith, someone who failed their assigned role and were driven out of ‘paradise’ (Heaven/Eden) by someone they should have been able to trust (Lute/Adam).
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In their most vulnerable moments Lucifer and Charlie find them, love blossoming between each pair because they defied the norm, Lucifer and Lilith being rebellious in a world of order and Charlie and Vaggie being kind in a world of cruelty.
Though at the same time, Charlie is to Lilith while Vaggie is to Lucifer.
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“This kingdom was something she really cared about. Something I care about.”
Charlie acknowledges she is the last thread of the hope her mother gave to Hell all those thousands of years ago. The responsibility to her home Charlie puts on her shoulders is born from the love Lilith had for it. She is directly following in her mother’s footsteps, truly believing her people deserve better and that they’re worth fighting for.
Then there is their partners, the fallen angels who don’t share their love’s connection to Hell. Lucifer saw sinners as horrible people who wasted the gift he went to Hell for giving them. Vaggie always kept everyone not named Charlie a spear’s distance away, treating them as people she tolerated but never trusted for a moment. Despite what Heaven had done, had done to them, they were still thinking like angels.
(Though, these mentalities would change throughout the first season, Lucifer choosing to support Charlie no matter what and Vaggie accepting the hotel crew as a part of the in-group which she wishes to protect)
Lucifer’s distaste for his people, not fighting alongside Lilith’s rebellion and instead agreeing to the exterminations, seems to be why they eventually split, despite the love they held for each other. In extreme contrast, Vaggie always supporting Charlie is what keeps them together despite bumps in their relationship. Vaggie always chose to believe in and support Charlie and that means the world and more to Charlie, who spent so much of her life unsupported.
The show also juxtaposes Lucifer’s parental love for Charlie with Vaggie’s romantic love for her, most prominently with Vaggie starting the reprise of More Than Anything to express her love as Lucifer did originally.
(They’re also just. Charlie and Lilith being these tall powerful demon women with Vaggie and Lucifer being their short and tiny fallen angel loves)
What becomes interesting is during the finale when Lucifer (very strongly, very tastefully) implies he ate out Adam’s first wife before fucking his second.
This seems to based on sexual interpretations of original sin. However, in Hazbin we are very much lead to believe the Fruit of Knowledge is a literal apple. Given that Lilith is said to have also offered the apple to Eve, I doubt the implication is that Luci had any sort of one night stand with Eve. Rather, I think Lilith, Eve, and him were once, or attempted to be, in a romantic relationship.
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(Considering Eve was made to be Adam’s lesser and Lucifer and Lilith shared the gift of free will with her specifically, I do wonder if Eve had fallen in love with the two, but was unable to leave Adam. The Fruit of Knowledge being given to her so she would be able to be free and join their relationship, but ultimately resulted in their separation as Lucifer and Lilith were casted into Hell)
Which certainly has implications about the future of Charlie and Vaggie’s relationship.
I think the show has actually set very compelling parallels between Eve and Emily.
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Much as Lucifer shared forbidden knowledge with Eve, it’s Charlie’s actions that revealed the hidden truth of Heaven’s exterminations. There’s the specific ‘free will’ which Eve was gifted, which fits with Charlie’s influence giving Emily the ‘free will’ to defy Sera and act against Heaven.
I’ve also talked before about the possibility Emily was brought into existence to fill Lucifer’s place in Heaven. Considering the protective relationship Sera has with Emily, along with her looks of genuine horror at her acting against Heaven, it brings to mind the idea Sera has been fearful that Emily would fall just as Lucifer did for Emily’s entire existence, and as such raised her to be more likely to never stray from Heaven as Lucifer did. Which could add to why Sera hid Heaven’s genocide from her despite Emily being a high ranking seraphim; she couldn’t risk giving Emily a reason to rebel.
Which would be a very striking analogue between the two. Both living replacements for the fallen, born into someone else’s shadow to take their place, intended to be the more docile and proper version of Lilith and Lucifer, less likely to stray from the roles they were created to fill. Though, of course, we know Eve fell to temptation and maybe-probably-definitely left or tried to leave Adam, and that Emily is walking the edge.
(Emily having ties to both Lucifer and Eve seems relevant with how Charlie and Vaggie each have parallels to Lucifer and Lilith. Perhaps in her fall, we’ll see Emily ‘thrive in Hell’ just as Lilith did, and similarities between Charlie and Vaggie to Eve will pop up the more we learn about her?)
What’s also interesting is that Eve ‘falling into temptation’ (choosing Lucifer and Lilith over her preordained role) is what separated her from them. However, if Emily were to choose supporting Charlie’s dream over her place in Heaven, then her falling would be what brought her to Charlie and Vaggie. Thereby their situation acts as a foil to the previous generation’s.
And Emily supporting Charlie is very relevant. In More Than Anything we get the exchange of:
“I’ll support your dream whatever lies in store.”
“And who could ask for more?”
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Because Charlie can’t think of anything more she could ask. Charlie’s idea of love and being loved is so heavily based on support and being supported. It’s a part of the conflict in Hell’s Greatest Dad, that Lucifer is being genuine and Alastor manipulative, but Alastor is the one actually providing Charlie with what she asks of him, which Lucifer never has. Charlie shows her love for Hell by believing in them, that they can improve, they deserve safety, and they have worth. It’s why Vaggie’s love is so important to Charlie, because for a long time, she was the only one believing in her.
And what does Emily do?
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“I don’t know-”
“Yeah, let’s give him a chance!”
She supports Charlie! She believes and trusts her and argues on her behalf. She’s the only angel in Heaven to have faith in Charlie’s dream. Having Emily in the position of a fallen angel, falling right into Charlie’s arms, Charlie caring for her and nursing her back to health, with her being someone who very deeply believes in her, would be the same conditions that made Charlie fall in love with Vaggie three years ago.
Then for Vaggie, Emily also has a lot of the textbook traits that she loves Charlie for. The overexcited-ness, the care she has for others, even the way she doesn’t pull rank. And what she hasn’t expressed, that being seeing value in Vaggie where she herself does not, it feels natural that Emily would express that in the way Charlie does upon learning Vaggie’s history. We’ve seen her sense of justice and her horror at Heaven’s actions, so her deeply sympathizing with Vaggie would be entirely expected, and would be a very easy way for Vaggie to catch feelings for Emily.
However, there is this:
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Which suggests the direction of a jealous Vaggie. I think that works, at least initially, with Vaggie feeling insecure in her relationship with Charlie after Emily falling and being cared for by Charlie in the way she was all that time ago. Those feelings heavily changing however, at the realization that Emily is crushing on her just as much as she is Charlie and how deeply relatable to her Emily’s circumstances and trauma would be.
Then on Emily’s side, not only would she have very much been thinking and focusing on Charlie prior to her fall, once she does, she lands in a very emotionally volatile situation where Charlie and Vaggie are supporting her so much and caring for her so deeply. It makes sense that this would translate to her developing feelings for the both of them.
(Now, this is a bit less definitive, but with Emily’s design, the long hair and dress that covers every inch of her short of her fingers, and Heaven being a stand in for the imperialist church, I do read the coming-of-age story the show has set up for her to be one of a conservative christian raised girl striking out of the doctrine she grew up in and finding community in the people her home had demonized, or at least an allegory for such. So having her develop romantic feelings for two ‘vile and blasphemous’ women in a very non-monogamous way would be very thematically relevant I think)
I would say this all works great as an analogue to Lucifer, Lilith, and Eve. Eve being in the unfortunate situation of Adam’s wife but finding comfort in Lucifer and Lilith and falling for the both of them as Emily would as a fallen angel being comforted by Charlie and Vaggie. Lucifer seeing Lilith reflected in Eve and caring for and helping her as he did before being parallel to Charlie helping Emily as she did Vaggie. Lilith initially feeling negativity towards the woman made to replace her bond so closely with her new love, only to realize Eve is falling for her just as much as she is for Lucifer and empathizing with Eve’s situation so deeply, just like Vaggie.
Then, there’s Adam and Lute. I already mentioned that they play parallel with forcing Lilith and Vaggie out of their respective paradises. Their dynamics are built on Adam and Lute punishing, and their domination over, Lilith and Vaggie, because they need to know their place: beneath them. (There’s also the interpretation of that Lute had or has romantic feelings for Vaggie, which is certainly relevant) The show is being very clear with Lute being Adam’s successor I feel, with her taking on his position as leader of the exorcists following his death.
Then, her line: “Your brat is threatening the very foundation of Heaven.” Personally, that makes me think of a sediment Adam would feel towards Lucifer. That’s he is the source of every problem, that he stole his wives (ignoring that Lilith left him before even meeting Luci), and that he destroyed paradise, Eden. Now that Vaggie and Lute’s conflict has seemingly come to a close, I think the show will be shifting to a Lute vs Charlie conflict, much as Adam shifted from Lilith to his hatred for Lucifer.
Now, if the show wants to push a Adam-Eve dynamic with Lute and Emily, what I could imagine is Lute protecting onto Emily in a very one sided way, where she thinks Charlie has ‘corrupted�� the seraphim (threatening heaven’s foundation) and she must personally ‘save’ her, which would very much align with how Adam would feel towards Lucifer’s influence on Eve.
Now, we can tell that Lucifer, Lilith, and Eve’s relationship Did Not pan out particularly well. So I think much like how Charlie and Vaggie have succeeded where Lilith and Lucifer failed, Charlie, Vaggie, and Emily is going to be the successful foil to their attempted relationship. Then for Lute, I think it becomes a question of: does she accept the olive branch Adam did not, does she eventually understand that she is doing wrong, does she accept mercy, or does she continue down Adam’s path, digging her own grave as he did; except that unlike Adam, there won’t be anyone to cry for her?
And y’know, the angel and 3 immortal humans versus the demon/half immortal human and 3 angels serves as a nice counter.
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wasawattpadkid · 2 years ago
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Housewife
Part - 4
Summery: Billy and Stu have been planning these murders for quite some time. Everything is going to plan until you show up. What happens when they meet someone who is just as mentally deluded as they are?
Pairing: poly!ghostface x fem!reader
Warnings for this series: murder, blood, smut (will be more in depth on smut chapters), power dynamics, a dash of sexism, knives, stalking, perverse behavior, cheating, hinting masturbation
Part 1
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"This is my favorite outfit so far." Tatum clapped as you spun around. The outfit in question was a checkered skirt matched with a sleeveless mock turtleneck top. Thankfully the stockings you bought yesterday had yet to fail. You kicked up your white go go boot striking a pose for a laugh. "This whole style choice of yours is dick repellent." Randy said, opening up his granola bar. You snatched it from him taking a bite. "You'll have to give me some tips then because I'm pretty sure you get more dick than all of us combined. And that's including Stu so that says something." Stu pointed at you surprised at the sudden dig. "How'd you know?" He said making the group laugh harder. Randy grabbed his granola bar back not caring you had just eaten part of it. You laid down on the concrete resting your head on Randy's lap.
"Since when did you two get so close?" Stu asked knowing about how hostile yesterday was. "Since I found out she's a lesbian." Randy joked. Billy looked at you seemingly to give the idea some thought. "She can do whatever she wants to it's a free country, as long as she invites me to watch." Stu said and Tatum shook her head. "Me and Randall here made up in 2nd period. He's not so bad when he's not babbling on about shitty horror movies."
Randy stands up knocking your head forward. "Okay which is better Texas Chainsaw Massacre the 1974 original or Aliens the 1979 original?" Billy scrunched up his nose like that was even a question. "Texas Chainsaw Massacre no contest." Billy spoke and Stu echoed his answer. Even Tatum put her two cents in. "Leather face is in Texas Chainsaw Massacre right?" Stu nodded. "Oh then that movie." Everyone looked at Sydney to give the last answer. "Don't look at me I haven't seen either of them." Billy laid back down mimicking your position.
"Aliens is by far a better choice because-" Stu started throwing grapes at him not missing a single shot. "Booooo!" You laughed at Stu happy to know the crowd agreed with you. "Told ya." You chimed as Randy sat back down. "What are you two doing tonight?" Sydney asked Stu and Billy. "Probably chill at my place, watch some movies. Why you wanna come?" She shook her head. "I was just curious." Sydney said picking at her nails. "Welp I'm going to split. If I don't see ya have a good weekend." You waved them off as you went back into the school. Walking the halls you headed towards the nearest bathroom.
You propped your purse up on the sink pulling a compact out. Funny enough the bags under your eyes seemed softer than they've been in months. "You sure are in a good mood today." Billy said as Stu locked the door. You jumped at his voice clutching imaginary pearls. "Did we scare you?" Stu asked leaning on Billy. "What gave it away Sherlock?" You closed the compact sliding it back in your purse. "You two shouldn't be in here." Stu bent down to check under the stalls. "Relax we're the only ones here." He said standing back up. "Still, being a girl in a bathroom with two guys that have girlfriends isn't really a good look for me."
"It's not like we're going to have our way with you." Billy watched your body tense up at Stu's words. "Unless you'd want that of course." You were uncomfortable. You'd like to say you trusted them but you'd only known them for 3 days. "Lay off man." Billy shrugged his friend arm off his shoulder before talking again. "We just came in here to ask about tonight. I'm running by the video store after school, what movie do you want to watch?" You calmed down just a little seeing Stu smile at you. It was genuine not one with two meanings behind it.
"Any movie? Or are you wanting horror movies?" Stu hopped up sitting on the sink. "We're watching Christine first." Billy looked at him then back to you. "Whatever you want to watch." It was a risk. He wouldn't sit though some boring ass chick flick. Not even for you. He's seen one too many with Sydney. "Have you seen Ferris Bueller's day off?" Both the boys shook thier head. "Are you being serious? It's one of the best movies ever." You said shocked. They highly doubted that but they let you have your moment.
You and the boys made plans for tonight. Billy would stop by the video store to pick up Christine, Ferris Bueller's day off, and he refused to tell you what he picked out. Saying "it's a surprise." You volunteered to cook dinner. They argued saying they could live off popcorn but you wouldn't allow it. Anyone staying at your house would be having a home cooked meal. Stu was simply bringing himself and a deck of cards.
The bell rang and you quickly shoved your school supplies in your locker leaving them for the Monday to come. "Are you ready to have your mind blown?" Stu's hands blew away from his head as he stuck his tongue out faking an explosion. "I doubt your little movie is that good. But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt." Stu tried to hold hands with you which you quickly shut down. "If you're worried about Tatum and Syd they're both already gone. Dewy picked them up." You were worried about them. You were also worried about that giddy feeling crawling back up your chest. "I'm not worried I'm appalled. I'm not some cheap whore you know?" You walked backwards for a second to catch his reaction.
"I'm well aware of that Ms. Crocker." The two of you cracked jokes and had playful banter as you made it to your car. "Do I get to pick music this time?" With the puppy like expression on his face he already knew your answer. "Sure but you're not going to like the options." You both slid into the car, Stu going straight for the glove box. "Elvis, Beatles, Boston, the Bee Gees? Really?" You looked at him with a smile. "Don't shit on the Bee Gees." You said holding back a laugh. The car pulled out of the parking lot heading straight to your place. "I care about you but we've got to do something about this." He held up a Carpenters tape with a look of shame on his face. "Most of these aren't even mine okay?" He simply hummed with doubt.
"Whatever you say Betty." He grabbed one tape pushing it into the tape deck. "This, I can get behind." He said confident in his selection. "What'd you pick-" Stu's finger rested on your lips. "Shh let it play." You swatted his hand away with a smile. Space Oddity began playing to your surprise. "I learn something new about you everyday." You said as he began singing the words as horribly as he could. He might be a little on the annoying side but he sure could make you laugh. At some point you chimed in. You both sang the songs together laughing at each other back and forth. Stu wasn't so bad.
"Put the tape back where you got it." He said "yes ma'am" as he slid it back into the glove compartment. You clicked the garage door open and slowly pulled your car in. The car became quiet once you pulled out the key. You closed the garage door, you and Stu hopping out at the same time. "Make sure to take your shoes off before you go in." You slipped off your boots carrying them inside. "Just bring your shoes up to my room." Stu didn't want to fuck this up but you made it too easy for him to make jokes. "You're taking me to your bedroom?" He said as cheesey as humanly possible. Before you could come up with a snarky response he pushed you out of the way.
"Holy shit this place is ugly!" Your face dropped as you closed the garage door. "I love it!" He exclaimed walking to the kitchen. "Is that a compliment?" You asked genuinely confused. Stu paused for a moment sniffing the air. "What is that smell?" You chuckled at his concern. "It's the pot roast." Confusion painted his face. "You started cooking this morning?" You smiled sheepishly. "Well yeah I knew you two were coming over." He might've just fell in love with you. "Come on let's put our shoes up and get dinner done before Billy gets here."
Stu looked all around not being able to look at one thing for too long. "Woah this is your room?" He admired the posters on your wall first. "The one and only." You grabbed his shoes sitting them up on the rack next to yours. "You like these movies?" He asked like you had them up there just to start conversations. "Of course I like them. That's kinda why I bought the posters."
Stu had to revaluate everything he thought about you. "You know your place reminds me of Dazed and Confused." You lit up at the name. "Oh my God I love that movie!" Stu took a second to really look at you. He thought you were hot from the second he saw you. That feeling hasn't changed any but there's definitely more to it. "I saw it in theaters like 4 times. You know you don't have such bad taste after all." You fake gasped. "I have amazing taste you just wait."
"Speaking of taste I've got to get started on dinner." He followed you to the kitchen with a question. "Isn't it already done?" He must not cook a lot. "The roast is yes but I've got to make mashed potatoes to go with it. Oh and do you want Macaroni and cheese or green beans?" He was definitely in love with you. "Why are you doing all this?" He asked his voice kind of sad. Stu really hadn't been a priority or even cared for, for a very long time. "Because you and Billy are my guests and I'll be damned if you leave here without having a good meal. Now Mac and cheese or green beans?"
Billy pulled into the driveway slowly as to not attract attention. It would be his ass if Sydney and Tatum saw his car over at your house. Before he could knock he stopped to listen to the sound of your laughter paired with Stu's. It was a pleasant sound but he couldn't help but feel a little jealous. His knuckles made contact with the wood alerting you and Stu both. "I'll get it. Keep stirring the mashed potatoes so they don't stick." Billy knocked once more. He wasn't very patient. "I'm coming!" You opened the door waving Billy inside. "Where's your coat it's freezing out there?" It was then he realized he left his jacket in the car. There was no way that unbuttoned flannel and white t-shirt was providing him any warmth.
"Hey buddy!" Stu waved from the kitchen. "I need you to open the garage so I can pull my car in." You made a stirring motion to Stu noticing he stopped. "Yeah give me one sec." You said to Billy as you opened the door to the garage. Clicking the button on the wall the door slowly lifted up. "Thanks babe." He said as he walked to his car. "Babe?" You whispered as your chest grew tight. "Betty help it's bubbling!" Stu shouted your nickname. You shook your head walking back into the house. "The heats too high." Slowly you turned the knob and the bubbling stopped. "Have you tried some yet?"
"No." He said but the small dot of mashed potatoes on his nose said other wise. Your thumb swiped off the food from his face and he knew he'd been caught. You wiped your hands on your apron. "Was it good?" He dipped his finger in the pot pointing it towards you. "Try it." He tried to smear it on your face but you wouldn't let him. "No!" You shouted with a laugh running around the kitchen. Stu chased you around the table laughing as much as you were. "What is going on? I can hear you all outside." Billy asked as he shut the door to the garage. "You really wanna know?" Stu asked.
It was too late. Now Stu chased Billy leaving you to laugh at both of them. "Get near me and I'll bite your fucking finger off Macher I mean it." You were belly laughing at this point. "Okay guys calm down the foods done. Billy, the plates are up there can you set the table?" Without a response he grabbed the plates. "Stu can you get the silverware? It's in that drawer." You pointed to the wood cabinet. "On it." Stu grabbed one of everything sitting them on the placemats next to the plates Billy sat down. You were busy moving the mac and cheese into a pyrex dish. "Someone sit this on the table." Billy and Stu both jumped to help nearly knocking the hot food out of your hands.
You awkwardly laughed at the silence. "Don't worry I've got another one." You handed Billy the glassware, quickly filling another one up with mashed potatoes to give to Stu. "I've got iced tea, lemonade, soda and water." You opened the fridge showing them what you had. "I'll have Dr. Pepper." Stu said and you handed him the glass bottle. "Billy for you?" Both the boys looked flushed. "What's that at the bottom shelf?" Stu pointed. You bent down seeing a bottle of Coke.
Unbeknownst to you every time you bent over the tops of your thigh high stockings were on display. Billy's eyes followed the black line from your ankles all the way to the little black bow at the top. Stu looked over at Billy trying to read his mind. "It's Coke. Did you want this instead?" You asked. "I'll take that." Billy grabbed it from your hand. "Let me get you two the bottle opener." You pulled out the drawer grabbing the opener and tossing it to Billy. "Where's your bathroom?" Stu asked politely. "Down the hall and to the left." With speed he left the Dr. Pepper on the table and practically sprinted to the bathroom.
"What's his problem?" You asked Billy. He only shrugged. Although he knew exactly what his problem was. It was the same problem he was starting to have. Billy sat down at the dinner table popping the lid off of his bottle. "Thank you." His was quiet but not silent. "You're welcome. It's the best I can do. Do you want your roast on top of your mashed potatoes or separate?" He thought about it for a second. "Separate is fine." You nodded grabbing his plate from the table. You put a good amount of roast and vegetables on his plate before sitting it back down in front of him. "Smells good."
"Let's just hope it tastes good." You laughed. "But thank you. Stu helped quite a lot actually." That was surprising. Living with Stu, he got take out 5 days a week and the other days they barley ate at all. Neither Billy or Stu cooked. Not for lack of trying on Billy's end. You placed a spoon in the mashed potatoes and in the Mac and cheese before fixing you a glass of water. You sat it down on the table picking up Stu's plate. Once he had a good amount you put his plate back where you got it.
"Is he coming?" The question almost made Billy laugh. With the Coke bottle up to his lips he said "Probably." The joke went clear over your head. In the meantime you hung your apron up and sat the salt and pepper down on the table. "There you are. I thought you fell in." You smiled and he returned it. Billy's eyes found Stu's having a silent shameful conversation. The last thing you did before sitting down was fix your own plate. While you put food on your plate Stu went ahead and grabbed his fork. Before he could eat Billy kicked him under the table. "Ow!"
"The bowl's hot." Billy made an excuse for his friends outburst. You went back to what you were doing as the two had a conversation. "Wait for her." Billy mouthed. Stu's lips formed an 'o' as he understood what he meant. You finally sat down with them finishing putting food on your plate. They both waited patiently for you to take the first bite. "Do you think I poisoned it?" You asked wondering about their odd behavior. "No but you cooked it so you should get to eat first." There it was again that giddy feeling. "Oh..." You said with a smile.
You had never seen two people eat so much. It made you think they'd never had food in their lives. Both bowls were completely empty and the poor crockpot looked like it'd seen hell before. "That was the best damn food I've ever had." Stu exclaimed. "Thank you, Y/n." He said grabbing your hand on the table. "You're welcome. If there's one thing I can do it's cook." Billy's head laid on his crossed arms on top of the table. "Is he dead?" You whispered to Stu. Your hand rubbed Billy's back slowly hoping he wasn't sick. "You alright?"
"I can't move." He mumbled against the table cloth. You bit your lip trying not to laugh. Billy sat up his head falling back over the kitchen chair. A moan left his lips from how much he ate. Stu saw the way you straightened up in your chair. Your eyes raked over Billy's exposed neck. His adams apple on prominent display. "Damn." Billy sat up looking at you. "What's wrong?
"Huh?" You asked furrowing your brows. "You said 'Damn' like something was wrong." Stu really couldn't help but laugh. "What's funny shit face?" He asked his giggly friend. "Oh nothing. Leave the dishes I'll clean them up." Billy rolled his eyes. In all his years being friends with him he had never once seen Stu clean a dish. "You don't have to do that I'll do them later after you guys go home."
Home? That thought never crossed either of their minds. They didn't want to go "home." "Listen I love hanging out with you both but I seriously can't have two grown men in my house staying the night that I barley know. What if you robbed the place?" That was your concern. Billy smiled at the innocent worry. "Then you'd get what we stole back monday at school. Don't you have a guest room we could stay in?" You did but it was used as a junk room now. There's no way you could clean it out tonight. They could stay in your dad's room but considering that's were the guns are you'd rather not. "Do you even have something to change into if you were to spend the night?"
Stu jumped from the table going to grab his bag. "I brought mine and Billy's clothes." You put your head in your hands as you groaned. "Fine but you're both sleeping on my bedroom floor." If that's what the rules were then so be it but they knew how easily they could bend them.
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Taglist: @katie-tibo @danodoll21 @agustdeeyaa @bowlofceral @gonnapermashift @tati-the-fangirl @kozumewhore @tatijoestar @illyanam1011 @c4rved-pumpk1n
Part 5
A/N: I haven't proofread this yet so I apologize from any misspellings. I'll be going through it again tonight. Hope everyone's enjoying it so far!
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lurkingshan · 10 months ago
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Last Twilight Episode 12
A month ago, I never could have predicted that I’d be sitting here trying to assemble some thoughts to explain how on earth this show went so badly off the rails. I am truly taken aback by where this story landed, and I advise anyone who wants to think of it fondly to just pretend it ended at episode 9, and even skip the finale if you haven’t watched yet. Before I get into it, let me just start with a word of praise for the cast, who did a great job with their performances and kept this show afloat when the writing fell apart. And boy, did it fall apart.
In my view, this narrative had three main threads it was addressing: 1) Day’s journey to accepting his disability; 2) unresolved family trauma; and 3) Mhok and Day’s romance. And in the end, it failed on all three of them. I am going to dig into this and I am not feeling particularly nice, so if this is going to hurt your feelings I suggest you stop reading now. 
Day’s Journey
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Just…wow. We have been afraid of this turn the entire time and trying to hold out hope that the show would not go there, but here we are. I started laughing out loud when we got to the end of part 3 and Mhon’s phone went off with an alert for a new eye donor, and then just stared incredulously at my screen as we time skipped AGAIN to a Day whose vision had been restored for years (last week I joked to @bengiyo and @waitmyturtles that once a drama starts using time skips it becomes addictive and they never stop, and—welp!). What was this entire show for? Why did we spend twelve episodes with Day grieving his vision loss, learning how to cope, and finally accepting his blindness only to completely undercut it at the end? The first part of the finale was so much about how he was thriving—finding a new career for himself and becoming self-sufficient and growing so much on his own—only to give us an ending that implied he could not actually have his happily ever after without his vision restored. 
And this is in fact the message they sent by coupling the return of his vision with the return of he and Mhok’s relationship, and giving us a happy ending rooted in his contentment at having his sight back. They even went back to the Last Twilight mountain to completely tarnish the thematic resonance of the original scene. Calling back to the beautiful memory of Day “seeing” the sunset and experiencing “a moment so good that you feel like you can live there forever” as he accepted his disability with this scene of him seeing the real sunset with his restored vision was so hurtful to me that I actually got angry. Day didn’t need his vision back to get a happy ending, and I absolutely hate what this communicates about disabled people’s capacity to live happy and fulfilling lives. This show has created many writing sins but this is the most unforgivable to me.
Family Trauma
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The show began dropping the ball on this one a few weeks ago, but this finale put the nail in the coffin. We spent most of this episode at Porjai and Night’s wedding, an event that might have felt meaningful if the show had let us see any of their romance. I’m grateful to Mark Pakin and Namtan Tipnaree for their beauty and charisma because it’s the only thing that made me care about those scenes at all. Rather than actually being about them, however, this wedding was used primarily as a clunky vehicle to deliver heavy-handed messages about “second chances” to encourage Day to get back together with Mhok (more on that in the next section). 
I did enjoy the brief nods in this episode to the brothers continuing to have newfound harmony in their relationship, but where the show really lost me was in their attempt to bring Night and Day’s dad back into the mix and imply some sort of resolution between him and Mhon. Mhon, a woman whose perspective on their split we never actually saw, whose motivation for her choices and behavior toward her sons were completely elided by the narrative, who was forgiven and made peace with offscreen during a time skip. I was never given the chance to understand her or what this relationship meant to her in the first place, so why would I care about these scenes with her making her peace with this man? I continue to be so confused about where this show chose to spend its time, and why someone with Aof’s track record on developing strong and narratively important familial relationships dropped the ball so much with her. 
The Romance
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Okay, let’s get into it, and remember what I said about not reading if this is going to hurt your feelings! My criteria for considering a romance successful is I have to believe the relationship is mutual, beneficial to both of the pair, and that the couple is prepared to weather future challenges. Last Twilight’s romance fails on all three fronts, and it all comes down to the total imbalance in the relationship that persisted right through the final scenes.
This entire narrative has been Mhok bending to Day’s will, giving Day what he needs, forgiving him for everything, and letting him make all the decisions about the relationship, and the finale was regrettably more of the same. In episode 11, Mhok made a mistake when he lied to Day about turning down the job in Hawaii. But he made that mistake out of grief and fear, and Day didn’t care—he unfeelingly rejected him and his pain and ended their relationship without a second thought. That was potentially forgivable as a momentary lapse borne out of instinctual hurt, and could have been repairable had Day reconsidered soon after and extended Mhok some grace. But in this episode, we find out Day blocked Mhok and refused to communicate with him again after that night, and has left Mhok completely in the cold for three years after he failed to be perfect one (1) time.
And this episode? Was on Day’s side in this conflict. Mhok is the one to return and start pursuing Day again. Mhok is the one to broach the topic of their breakup. Mhok is the one to thank Day for breaking his heart and tell him he did nothing wrong (y’all, I almost threw something at the screen). Mhok’s grief and trauma go completely unaddressed in this finale until they try to play the Rung card for one last moment of sentiment. Day cries to his mother about how he just doesn’t know if he can forgive Mhok. And in the end, Mhok makes the grand gesture, missing his flight to go to Day and stay in Thailand with him despite the successful life he has built in Hawaii.
The cognitive dissonance I felt watching this play out was extreme. I rarely see a writer misunderstand their own characters and relationship conflict so thoroughly. In order to believe in this romance we needed to see Day finally show some empathy for Mhok, take responsibility for his own mistakes, and be the one to make an effort this time. We needed to believe that Day has the capacity to be a supportive partner to Mhok even when he’s struggling. But Day didn’t demonstrate any of that, and so I simply don’t believe in this relationship. I don’t believe Mhok can trust Day not to abandon him again when some other major life event intervenes and Mhok is less than perfect. And that’s a shame, because the show really almost had something here with these two. 
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And that’s all I got. What a disappointment this show turned out to be. If you need me, I will just be over here in my little corner imagining the Night and Porjai romcom that we never got and pretending the rest of this show ended several weeks ago.
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zvezdacito · 8 months ago
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A Different Perspective on the Raverne -> Crowley theories, who to trust and a way of tying it to the themes of the story
Preface: This isn't really gonna be a super serious compilation of solid proof, symbolism or anything, more like just me yapping abt something I happened to randomly think of yesterday and thought "it would actually be kinda interesting from a writing standpoint if this is the thing they go for instead of what everyone was expecting". Kind of long but I promise it will be at least interesting AU material if anything so just bear with me lmao
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Ok so basically so far the general trajectory of theories is something bad happened to Raverne while he was missing that made him into Crowley who is doing some kind of evil scheming that will disregard the safety of his family and students sooner or later. Generally Raverne is the good self while Crowley is the fucked up self, and it would probably be better if Raverne was here instead of him
But what if it's actually more like the other way around. That Raverne is the one we should be looking out for, and Crowley is the trustworthy version of him this entire time?
What if everything Raverne went through made it inevitable for him to snap and be vengeful and do evil shit so Crowley is basically his sane self's last ditch effort to make sure he doesn't hurt anyone and ruin people's lives, basically using the goofy Crowley personality to suppress and forget the vengeful Raverne personality
Like the "Raverne's soul got fractured and split into pieces and the pieces that remember his past are sealed away" theories, but instead of usual reasons it's him who sealed them away ironically to remain as true to his original self as possible, than if it remained and he turned into someone violent and hateful against his own principles.
I feel like it would be even more of a twist since they keep emphasizing how kind and peaceful Raverne is so I don't think neither Meleanor, Lilia nor the audience would expect the OG Raverne described that way to actually turn out cruel and untrustworthy who the seemingly suspicious and cowardly Crowley was actually trying to manage the whole time
Also it would kind of be more straightforward as to why he would choose to forget Lilia and Malleus than if Crowley was fucked up Raverne and forgot them even though his goal would be to revive Meleanor and his old life with them anyway
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It's hard to tell right now but Crowley despite his goofiness doesn't really seem to harbor any malice against anyone, nor would he be the type to seriously blood sacrifice any of his students, even if he does abandon them sometimes. In this new context maybe it would even make sense if he abandons them so the subconcious Raverne doesn't try to find opportunity to break out/cause trouble through blot and magic related situations?
So yeah it would be cool if it turned out Crowley was the "good" version of Raverne all along, and Raverne overtly and subtextually is just trying to gaslight the audience into distrusting Crowley so they can set a chain reaction of events going to unseal him so he can do whatever he wants to
Also Crowley probably knows he has to keep Raverne locked away no matter what but also doesn't dare try to remember what Raverne remembers because that would go against the whole point of keeping Raverne locked away in the first place. His memory of his past is just puzzle pieces w/o the bigger picture. He has to be atleast partially aware that he has to not give in to the voice in the back of his mind for the sake of others
Like he knows he had to leave behind a family behind and forget them so he would not hurt them, but he doesn't exactly remember who anymore which is why he isn't really flinching or anything when around Malleus and Lilia at NRC
Though I feel like him suppressing Raverne lowkey also took a toll on his mental state. So they actual conclusion would for him to basically symbolically stop suppressing his trauma in an attempt to be a perfect victim because it's not working either way and the only way for Raverne to rest in peace is if he finds closure. Whatever that may be.
Maybe if Yuu and co. find out they encourage him to do this to his surprise basically saying "Don't worry headmage we'll beat the shit out of evil Raverne for you if he goes out of control (you are so annoying so we've always wanted to do this)"
The reveal and Crowley needing to stop supressing Raverne in his subconcious to let him process what he should have would make sense, since it would also tie in to the overarching theme around the overblots:
That even though they're ugly and hurtful manifestations of trauma they need to play out so the OBer can finally grow as a person instead of bottling it all up and being in denial
And also so they can finally come to terms with something that happened to them even if they can't change it
^ Accidentally sort of also combined this with the "Crowley's mask is hiding the fact that he's in a paused state of overblot that he just managed to sorta control" theory. Maybe overblot is what he had to stop Raverne from devolving into in the first place
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↑ This ties back to my HC for Raverne's personality being a natural coward and not as battle-oriented but tries to be strong, as he sees Meleanor and Lilia to be as well as making the most out of the skills the does have (using cowardice and sensitivity to be a master diplomat and educator instead) so he can feel like he has the right to continue to stand by their side. Maybe he didn't even care much for being considered kind until that's what Mel and Lilia saw his actions as instead of weak or foolish, that being what made him want to work on that newly defining trait of his now
Lilia at one point mentions that even tho Raverne tries to perform honor student he could be as picky of an eater as Meleanor was and Lilia would have to eat his spare food too
Adding to the possibility Raverne was always the type to make twice an effort to be 'kind' and strong to compensate for his nature that he sees as inherently lacking. This is also probably why he'd be super harsh on himself as Crowley
Oomf also suggested that this may add a layer to why his catchphrase ended up being "For I'm so gracious". As if to remind himself to keep up the effort to be such because he fears his natural state is one that isn't, as well as him encouraging himself to always be forgiving so Raverne doesn't gain the upper hand from his subconcious
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↑ Ok so I don't have the brainpower to paraphrase this too so I'll just copy paste what I talked to another oomf about here because it's also interesting
That's pretty much it, hope the general idea and effect was conveyed properly🔥🔥🔥 I don't think the exact details need to be followed since it probably has a bunch of holes itself, but the general gist of Crowley being the more positive side of Raverne instead of the expected inverse all along + it making more sense as to why Raverne would be motivated to forget + tying into the themes of overblotting and trauma would be interesting I think. Kind of a clever misdirection. All of this is not super substantiated though since even now we barely know anything about either Raverne or Crowley, so really only time will tell. Personally kinda got attached to this direction for Crowley's character so I hope they go with something adjacent to the heart fo it at least
The other option is he's not Raverne at all and we're racking our brains over this for no reason lmao
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maboroshi-no · 3 months ago
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Hamefura LN 14 Chapter 1 Part 1 Summary
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I am currently reading Hamefura LN14 and will post summaries after each chapter.
Chapter 1 is a bit long so I split it in two.
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Chapter 1: The Encounter at the Party (Part 1)
Break at Cyrus's Fields
Katarina and Maria are helping Cyrus with his fields. They are all taking a break at the moment.
Cyrus and Maria are talking about work. Katarina thinks they're so serious for talking about work during their free time. She turns her gaze away from them and looks at the fields.
Cyrus's fields have expanded since Katarina and Maria started helping. They will harvest fall crops soon. Katarina can't wait.
Katarina Would Like to Eat Rice
Katarina remembers that if she had been in Japan, it would soon be the period to harvest rice. New rice is delicious and she can't have enough of rice with dried plums and pickles.
Katarina inadvertently voices that she'd like to eat rice.
Maria asks her what she means, so Katarina explains that, while looking at the fields, she remembered that it would soon be the rice harvesting period. And then, she wished she could eat rice. 
Cyrus is surprised that Katarina would know about the rice harvesting period and realizes again how much Katarina likes Japanese food.
Katarina thinks to herself that it is only natural since her grandparents were rice farmers. She would help them with planting and harvesting rice.
Katarina remembers that in Sorcier, people eat bread and Western food, so there is no rice there. On the other hand, people eat rice and Japanese food in the neighboring country Sharma, which is similar to Japan. Incidentally, people also eat rice and Japanese food in Cyrus's region since it is bordering Sharma.
Katarina has been wanting to go to Cyrus's region since she heard they ate Japanese food there. However, she can't freely go there since it takes 4 days by carriage.
Cyrus is happy that Katarina enjoys his hometown's food so much. His parents send him home specialties after the fall harvest every year, so he offers to share some with her. Katarina jumps with joy and invites Maria to enjoy the food together. Maria chuckles and accepts.
Katarina wonders what food Cyrus will share with her. Tsukemono? New rice? She is about to ask Cyrus when she sees him make a very content smile.
Maria Has Been Tense Lately
Katarina asks Cyrus if something happened. Cyrus snaps back to reality. He whispers to her that he just felt glad since Maria has been smiling ever since Katarina invited her to help at the fields. Maria has been tense lately but she was able to calm down after coming here and interacting with Katarina. Katarina didn't know that Maria was tense.
Katarina remembers that Maria's family was attacked a few days ago. While she and Cezar were able to rescue Maria, they could only catch the thugs. They couldn't catch Sara, who was taken away by the "handsome seductive enigmatic uncle". As a result, they couldn't get any information about the organization except that they were targeting Maria. Following this, it was decided Maria's family would be protected at the Ministry and escorted by guards whenever they went out. Katarina can understand why Maria would feel tense.
Currently, Maria is not escorted by guards. Even so, she is still in the Ministry of Magic in Sorcier (the second most-guarded institution of the safest country in the world) and with Cyrus, who is a Ministry director and a powerful magic wielder, martial artist, and swordsman.
Katarina originally invited Maria to the fields to get some help for the harvest but she is glad that Maria could relax because of it.
Looking at Cyrus's happy face after Maria's smile, Katarina feels like she is third-wheeling. She turns her gaze towards the fields.
Mole Alert
Katarina notices an area of the fields where the earth is bulging. She shouts at Cyrus: "They got us! The enemy is here!"
Cyrus quickly stands up. He keeps Maria behind his back and asks Katarina where the enemy is. Katarina points to a hole in the ground. Cyrus is confused. Katarina explains that there's a mole: their natural enemy as farmers. Cyrus frowns and Maria bursts out laughing. Seeing Maria laugh, Cyrus relaxes his face a little.
Cyrus explains to Katarina that, while a mole is indeed a farmer's enemy, she shouldn't carelessly use the word "enemy" given Maria's state. Katarina realizes that she needlessly scared Maria and apologizes to her. But Maria laughs even louder, to the point she is holding her stomach.
Pondering Measures Against Moles
Cyrus inspects the hole and confirms there is a mole.
Katarina never saw a mole in her fields but she remembers that in her past life, her grandmother often had moles damaging her fields, which would make her furious.
Katarina is surprised there would be moles in the Ministry grounds. Cyrus replies it isn't so surprising given the natural setting here. He just never took measures against moles because they never damaged his fields until now.
Cyrus ponders about measures he could take against moles. Katarina also ponders about them on her side.
Katarina remembers that in her past life, her grandmother would bury some kind of nail that would make a piercing sound when it detected a mole. She eventually took it off because it became too noisy. Anyhow, it's not like she could find this kind of device in this world. 
Katarina wonders if she can leave in the fields something that would give off a pungent smell that would drive the moles away. With this line of thought, she comes up with a great idea.
Katarina's Measure Against Moles
Katarina summons Pochi. Cyrus asks her why she did. Katarina explains that she will have Pochi poop on the fields to scare off the mole. Cyrus is blank. Katarina explains that she heard that tanukis didn't get close to fields if they smelled dog poop, so she thought it might work on moles too.
In her past life, her grandmother would collect dog poop from the neighborhood and put them on the corners of her fields. Katarina couldn't help her back then because dogs hated her, but now, she can provide the dog poop since she has a dog.
Katarina orders Pochi to poop. Pochi barks in understanding and takes the posture.
Katarina loudly cheers Pochi on while he is trying to poop.
Maria shyly reminds Katarina that Pochi can't poop since he is a dark familiar. Both Katarina and Pochi are shocked after hitting upon this realization. Pochi cries in apology and Katarina apologizes to him in return for asking him the impossible. Seeing them, Maria burst out laughing again.
Cyrus reminds Katarina that it is wrong in the first place to leave dog poop on the prestigious grounds of the Ministry. Katarina thinks to herself that Cyrus still created fields on the prestigious grounds of the Ministry.
Katarina understands that it would be troublesome to leave dog poop here since it is smelly and people can step on it. Cyrus tells her it isn't that troublesome, but she still shouldn't do it. Anyhow, Cyrus tells Katarina he will think about how to put in place the measures he used in his hometown and asks her to stop thinking about measures. Katarina gladly leaves the issue to him since he is a "pro-farmer". When Pochi barks in agreement, Cyrus makes a little step backward.
Cyrus and Dogs
Katarina asks Cyrus if he feels uneasy with dogs. Cyrus tells her that's not it.
Katarina asks Cyrus if, by any chance, he'd like to get along with dogs but can't because they hate him. She is hoping to find a fellow in Cyrus. Cyrus denies it: he had a dog as a kid and often held it.
Katarina feels jealous of Cyrus, but she is glad to have Pochi now. She pets Pochi's head and Pochi seems to be enjoying it.
Looking at them, Cyrus tells Katarina that his dog would also close his eyes in contentment and wag his tail when he petted its head. He and his dog were always together, like siblings. Unfortunately, it died in an accident one day, right before his eyes. Since then, he has felt a little scared about interacting with dogs or even animals in general. Hearing this, Katarina takes Pochi in her arms and hugs him tightly.
Cyrus stays silent with a distant gaze while reminiscing about his dog. After a while, he suggests to Katarina and Maria they work a little longer and call it a day. Katarina and Maria accept without asking questions.
They all finish work and go home.
Katarina realizes upon going to sleep that she forgot to ask Cyrus what food his parents will send him.
Katarina Ponders about Cyrus's Trauma
The next day, Katarina is in the carriage and she is idly thinking about what Cyrus told her about his uneasiness with dogs.
It seems like not only Cyrus can't handle young women, he can't handle dogs either. That's a lot for one person. It is not so rare for capture targets in otome games to come with traumas, so she wonders if that's what it is.
In Fortune Lover 1, the capture targets had childhood traumas. For example, Alan suffered from always being compared to the perfect Geordo, and then Maria made him realize his strong points. Though, the actual Alan didn't end like this for some reason: he developed his talent for music and grew into a carefree person 
As for Keith, since he was unneeded by his biological parents, treated coldly by his adopted mother, and bullied by his adopted sister, he was supposed to become a distrusting frivolous man who played around with girls to satisfy his need for love, until Maria taught him about true love. But the actual Keith is the reliable son of the Claes family, gets along with his adopted mother, eagerly takes it upon himself to protect his older sister, and has grown into a pure good young man.
Katarina Talks With Keith in the Carriage
Katarina glances at Keith in front of her. His straightened back and neat clothes show that he isn't a playboy but he still exudes sexiness as a remnant of his sexy character status. Even so, he doesn't use his sexiness, which is a waste.
Katarina inadvertently voices, "What a shame". Keith asks her what is. Katarina explains that she thinks it's a shame that he exudes so much sexiness but doesn't use it.
Keith is wide-eyed for a moment, then frowns and makes a deep sigh. He agrees and tells her he was told the same thing several times. Keith looks dejected, so Katarina apologizes. Keith says it's fine.
Keith reminds Katarina that they are on their way to an important party. Katarina realizes that it is indeed not the time to think about Cyrus or the game.
Keith insists that Katarina should ready herself for the party. Katarina begs him to let her idle until they arrive. She promises she will focus and conduct herself properly during the party. But she will exhaust herself if she keeps being focused, so she needs to idle and she can only do it when they're alone together. 
Keith is choked up for words. He finally accepts since "she can only do it when they're alone together".
Katarina looks out the window. There's such a nice weather. She wishes she could have farmed today and indulged in sweets after work.
The Sorcier Kingdom Founding Anniversary Party
Today, the Sorcier Kingdom Founding Anniversary Party is held. A lot of foreigners have been invited. The atmosphere is similar to the International Assembly, but unlike it, it is not meant for socializing with people, but for everyone to enjoy this Sorcier celebration. It also lasts only one day, contrary to the International Assembly.
A lot of foreign emissaries will be there, so unlike in Sorcier-only parties, Katarina will need to walk around and greet everyone. She has been told to be careful of her surroundings since the dark magic organization might sneak in. People are thoroughly checked at the entrance but it is still possible. Katarina needs to be cautious while not acting rudely. 
The party is held in the largest hall of the castle. Out of respect for the customs of the other countries, ladies don't need an escort for this party.
Katarina and Keith enter the venue together.
There are a lot more people compared to the International Assembly. They are dressed in various kinds of clothes: Japanese style, Arabian style, Chinese style… There are also a variety of skin, hair, and eye colors. Even so, everyone talks in the same language. 
Katarina feels amazed by this sight. Keith tells her that such a variety of people is expected since more countries have been invited to this party compared to the International Assembly. Katarina is amazed that Keith guessed exactly what she was thinking. Keith chuckles and tells her it is normal since he has been her brother for 10 years already.
Keith reminds Katarina to be careful not to cause trouble. After recalling what happened during the International Assembly, Katarina replies that she will.
Keith and Katarina greet the Sorcier nobles, along with the foreign nobles they met at the International Assembly. Katarina is surprised she hasn't seen her friends yet, not even Geordo who always rushes to see her.
Katarina is thirsty, so she tells Keith she will go have a drink. Keith says okay while reminding her with his eyes not to eat or drink too much.
Encounter at the Buffet
Katarina goes to the buffet and is amazed by all the gorgeous food prepared for the anniversary party. She originally intended to just have a drink and go back but she thinks it wouldn't hurt to enjoy the food a little as long as she doesn't overeat. She picks up a lot of food and starts eating. After emptying her plate, she picks up some more food.
Katarina suddenly hears "You're eating too much". She startles and looks towards the voice. She realizes the words weren't aimed at her: a man she doesn't know is scolding a woman who has picked up a lot of food like her. Katarina feels an affinity with the girl.
The two people are dressed in kimono-like clothes so they probably come from Sharma, the neighboring country with a Japanese-like culture.
The man tells the woman that a lady shouldn't eat so much at a place like this. His scolding reminds Katarina of when Keith scolds her for the exact same reason. The woman retorts she just doesn't want to miss out on the banquet of the great country Sorcier. She will hardly have other opportunities like this. The two people appear to be siblings. Katarina deeply agrees with the sister and can't help silently cheering her on.
The sister notices Katarina and they make eye contact. Katarina notices the sister has black hair and eyes, and that she's beautiful. The sister notices Katarina's plate full of food, just like hers. At this moment, the two girls feels like they understand each other despite coming from different countries: enjoying a banquet is more important than lady etiquette.
The brother makes a deep sigh and tells the sister he wasn't telling her not to eat, just not to eat too much. His words also remind Katarina of Keith. The sister retorts that she can't avoid filling her plate since there is so much food. But it is not like she will eat everything at once she will just take a little of everything. Katarina silently agrees, it is exactly what she was doing. The sister notices Katarina's agreement and also nods to herself. Katarina feels like she could greatly get along with the sister.
The brother replies that, in that case, it would be more proper to just take a little of one or two dishes she likes. Katarina feels revolted by the brother's words and feels like she can't get along with him.
The sister feels revolted by her brother's thinking and feels like they will never understand each other.
The brother tiredly tells her they will talk about it later. She reminds her that the King will come give his greetings soon, so she must put her plate away. Hearing this, Katarina feels like she would rather eat all her food than put her plate away. She starts gulping down her food. The sister thinks the same thing and starts gulping down her food too. The brother is shocked to see his sister rushing to eat her food rather than putting away her plate. He is even more shocked to see Katarina doing the same thing.
Katarina and the sister have both finished their plates. When they put away their plates, they both smile and nod their heads at each other.
The King's Greetings
Trumpets announce the King's coming. The King appears with the Queen at his side, and the four princes behind them.
The King makes a speech, thanking everyone for coming to the party held for the 300th anniversary of the founding of the Sorcier Kingdom.
After the speech, the foreign attendees go to greet the royals. The Sorcier nobles stay back since they were told beforehand they didn't need to greet the royals for this party.
Katarina starts picking up food again but the sister is dragged away by her brother to greet the royals. Looking at her reluctantly leave, Katarina says "Do your best" in her direction. While she isn't sure the sister heard her, she feels like she said "Yes" in response.
Katarina would like to talk with the sister again and become friends with her if the opportunity arises.
Katarina Talks With Cezar
Katarina suddenly hears someone say "You're eating too much". When she turns around, she realizes that it's Cezar.
Katarina thanks Cezar again for helping her when she lost control of her dark magic. Cezar is glad to see she is well. After all, the last time he saw her, she had fainted.
Katarina remembers what happened at that time. Cezar visited her the day after they rescued Maria, and when she thanked him for his help, Geordo suddenly appeared, became jealous, and gave her an adult kiss in front of Cezar. Because she was so inexperienced with love, she felt overwhelmed and fainted.
Katarina feels embarrassed after remembering this. She starts explaining to Cezar that it wasn't because she was unwell that she fainted, but because she wasn't used to kissing. Midway, she feels panicked about explaining how inexperienced she is about love.
Looking at her, Cezar chuckles and realizes again that both Katarina and Geordo are still very young. Katarina is confused by his reaction.
Cezar asks Katarina if she hated it when Geordo kissed her. Katarina is confused: she felt embarrassed at the time but she can't tell whether she liked it or not.
Looking at her pondering so hard, Cezar changes his mind and tells her she doesn't need to answer him after all. He would prefer she didn't. Then he lightly strokes her head. Katarina is confused and wonders if Cezar doesn't want to talk about it anymore.
Cezar feels a threatening look piercing his back and decides to stop at this. He advises Katarina not to move out alone since there are a lot of people. He will go call her family for her, so he asks her to wait here.
After Cezar leaves, Katarina realizes that she has dropped her guard again after seeing the gorgeous food.
Katarina wonders if Cezar will be able to find Keith in this huge crowd. Especially since she knows where Keith is. She decides to join Keith once she has finished eating.
Keith's Lecture
Katarina suddenly hears someone say "You're eating too much". It is Keith.
Keith scolds her for not going back despite telling him she would just go have a drink. He was worried and couldn't seem to get out of the conversation. Fortunately, Cezar spoke to him and told him where she was. Katarina is amazed that Cezar could find Keith so quickly in this huge crowd.
Keith tells Katarina she should pull herself together since she caused trouble to Cezar. Katarina sincerely apologizes. Keith ends his lectures.
Katarina eats the rest of her plate with Keith's permission.
A Look Towards the Royals
Katarina notices that the number of people has decreased. Keith doesn't agree: it only looks that way because all foreigners have gone to greet the royals.
Keith shows Katarina the long line of people waiting to greet the royals. It is way longer than in usual parties. At the end of the line, the royals are repeatedly greeting people with a smile.
Katarina can see that Alan is starting to tire out since he is not good at socializing. Next to him, Geordo must also be tired even if he doesn't show it.
When Katarina looks at Geordo, she has the feeling their eyes met for an instant. It startles her. Keith asks her what is wrong. Katarina explains that she felt like Geordo and her made eye contact even though she was mixed in the crowd. She thinks it was probably her imagination. Keith pretends to agree while thinking to himself that it was probably not her imagination.
Cyrus and Maria
Mary calls Katarina. There are also Sophia, Nicol, Maria, and Cyrus with her.
Katarina is surprised to see Cyrus with everyone. She asks them if they all came together. Mary replies that she, Sophia, and Nicol came together, then they saw Cyrus and Maria together at the entrance, and then they all stayed together.
Katarina is shocked that Cyrus and Maria went to the ball together. Cyrus kept saying until now he was too embarrassed to ride in a carriage alone with her or talk alone with her, but he finally did it. Katarina feels so happy and proud that Cyrus has finally reached grade schooler-level maturity in terms of romance.
Maria explains that she actually met Cyrus at the castle. It was Sora who escorted her on the way to the castle. Cyrus proudly confirms it with a face that seems to say "Of course since I can't ride in a carriage alone with her". Katarina feels so disappointed. She wonders how Cyrus will be able to make progress with Maria at this rate.
Maria was told to attend this party since many people wanted to talk with her as a Sorcier celebrity. She doesn't seem escorted by guards so Katarina wonders if both Cyrus and Sora were assigned as her guards this time. Or maybe Cyrus was assigned as her guard but he asked Sora to escort her on the way to the castle because he couldn't ride in a carriage alone with her. This possibility seems more likely.
Katarina asks Cyrus in a low voice if he was the one who asked Sora to escort Maria on the way to the castle. Cyrus readily confirms it since he can't ride in a carriage alone with Maria. Katarina is shocked that Cyrus is okay with Sora and Maria being alone together. Katarina doesn't understand why Cyrus would be wary of Dewey but not of Sora. Sora should be a greater threat since he is good at sweet-talking women. If Sora fell for Maria, Cyrus's chance would drop to zero.
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Katarina: Umm, are you okay with Sora and Maria alone together?  Sora might have feelings for Maria, you know?
Cyrus: No, Sora doesn't have feelings for Maria. Even I can see that.
Katarina: Huh? What do you mean?
Cyrus: What I mean? Well, however I look at it…
Katarina: However you look at it, what?
Cyrus: Lady Katarina, didn't you notice?
Katarina: Notice what?
Cyrus: …
Katarina: Wait, Lord Cyrus. What is it? What do you mean?
As Cyrus fell silent, I asked this with a little loud voice.
Cyrus: Lady Katarina, I see that you still are a child ignorant of love.
He said this with a little tired face.
Wh-Whaaaat~?! Cyrus, who is no better than a grade-schooler when it comes to romance, dares tell me I'm a child ignorant of love?! I don't want to hear that from YOU!!
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Nicol Kept Being Approached By Foreigners
Katarina is about to retort something when Mary pulls her arms, offers her some sweets, and forcibly separates her from Cyrus. Katarina still wants to yell at Cyrus but she is intrigued by the sweets.
Mary tells her these sweets are probably a new creation since she has never seen them before. Katarina tastes them and finds them delicious. Maria asks if she can taste them too. Katarina accepts even though it was Mary who offered them. Maria finds them delicious. Then Sophia and Nicol taste them too and find them delicious.
Mary is glad they could finally join with Katarina. Katarina assumes it was hard to find her given the number of people. Mary replies it was not the case since she assumed they would find her at the buffet. Katarina feels dejected that people would figure her out so easily.
Maria explains it was because they kept getting approached by people and could hardly make a step. Katarina is not surprised people would ask Mary, Maria, and Sophia out since they're pretty. Mary explains it was rather Nicol who kept getting approached. Katarina is shocked. 
Sophia explains that Nicol's charm is particularly effective today given the number of foreign people. Nicol was not only approached by young women but also men and women of all ages. Some of them were high-ranking people in their primes, so they had to deal with them carefully.  
Katarina is amazed by Nicol's charm which fascinates people of all genders, ages, and countries. Even with these beautiful girls with him, he can boast about being the most popular one. 
Mary admits that Nicol's charm was so troublesome that she felt like wrapping a cloth around his face.
Even after hearing the rumors, Cyrus still can't believe the number of people who approached Nicol.
Sophia mentions that Nicol has been especially courted by large foreign men. She thinks they're probably considering loving Nicol as a woman. Nicol sharply stops Sophia. His tone is sharp but his face looks tired. Katarina doesn't know if it is because he was approached by large men, or because of Sophia's fantasies, speech, and conduct.
Cyrus Came to the Party to Escort Maria
Cyrus changes the subject. He confesses that it has been a while since he went to a party and he feels overwhelmed by the number of people here. Katarina is surprised that Cyrus doesn't go to parties but realizes that she indeed never met Cyrus at a party. Cyrus explains that he doesn't feel at ease at parties and is also busy with work, so he always rejects the invitations.
Still, Cyrus is not the only one. Many nobles at the Ministry don't go to parties, like Larna / Susanna Randall, who only goes to important parties. Ministry people are also swamped with work.
Maria apologizes to Cyrus since he had to push himself to go to the party for her. Maria seems to think that Cyrus was forced to attend the party to guard her. Katarina rather thinks Cyrus volunteered to do it. After all, Cyrus would do anything to protect Maria.
Cyrus tells Maria that he planned from the beginning to attend the party and volunteered to guard her after hearing she would also attend it…because he was worried about her. Katarina can imagine that Cyrus had to muster a little courage to say the last part.
Maria is happy to hear this and warmly thanks him for "being so concerned for his subordinate". Maria seems to have taken it as the considerate gesture of a superior towards his subordinate rather than a romantic gesture. As the heroine of an otome game, Maria seems to be dense when it comes to love. Katarina feels sorry for Cyrus.
Katarina thinks to herself that in Cyrus's place, Geordo would have clearly told Maria that he was worried about her because he loved her, not because she was his subordinate. Cyrus doesn't need to be like Geordo but he needs to work hard if he wants the dense Maria to notice his feelings.
Katarina really wonders how Cyrus could romance Maria in the game. Maybe he had a sad ending where he only married her in his dream? She can tell that Cyrus is losing to the 14-year-old Dewey and that he will just end up as a good superior at this rate. She sometimes wants to push Cyrus but he always says that he can't be alone with Maria. It is frustrating. Even today, he probably planned from the start to join with Mary and the others so he wouldn't be alone with Maria. Even though he accepted to guard Maria, he won't make any progress with her. Cyrus is just so hopeless.
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