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fairlyang · 2 months ago

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Lucky⚔️🐺

imagine letting your boyfriends convince you to entertain one of their sick fantasies

w/c: 3K

pairing: ghostfaces!wadewilson&loganhowlett x gf!reader

tags: 18+ smut. a polycule, they’re both perverted AF, ghostface roleplay, hide n seek, predator & prey play, fear play, pain kink x2, knife play, stabbing them (bc they can regen), they asked for it n loveeee it, reallyyy getting into character, murder mention, teasing, dirty talk, stroking, fingering, blowjob, unprotected sex, mirror sex (?), doggy, missionary, two creampies

a/n: it’s october ofc i had to do a ghostface fic 🤞🏼bro it was meant to be a ramble…. and oml i’m so tired

kinktober masterlist | main masterlist

it didn’t come as much of a surprise to you that your boyfriends both had a pain kink, it was something so obvious to anyone eyes.

what was a surprise to you was the fact that the first time you properly dive into their kink and not just barely grazing them with a knife like you sometimes did, they wanted to do it in ghostface attire.

you instantly assumed it was wade’s idea, because why wouldn’t it be? but apparently after you were all watching the original scream movie recently, they had the brilliant idea at the same time and knew you had to be their sidney prescott.

wade was so committed, he ended up renting the iconic house for the whole weekend. logan thought that was a bit of an exaggeration but once wade handed you a buck 120 knife, he said it only made sense.

this was going to go as a game of cat and mouse or in simpler terms, hide and seek. you'll all be leaning into the roleplay so there will be a sense of horror but also making sure it's horny. so you'd be their helpless victim that'll pretend to not love the whole ordeal but as soon as their hands are on you, you'll fold.

and since they want to play into their pain kink, you'd have to try to give them a little stab each before getting to the sex.

so now you were hidden beneath the bed in the master bedroom while you heard the loud sounds of them clearing the bottom floor. they had given you a minute to pick a hiding place and you didn't really want it to take long.

you'd be lying if you said this idea didn't turn you on because one check of your panties and there would lay the real answer. there was just something about your boyfriends pretending to hunt you down and knowing damn well they were checking every crevice while having raging boners.

and they say romance is dead.

you held your knife in hand, absolutely ready to use it and feeling your heart start to race. your breathing was as quiet as it could be but with the silence from the room, it felt like they'd be able to hear it so easily.

you could hear them opening and closing doors fast, sensing that they also didn't have too much patience like they thought they would.

suddenly you heard their loud footsteps coming up the stairs and you held your breath as they made their way up. your heart was beating faster now, a small feeling of terror creeping up on you as you heard them split up. one of them immediately went up the small staircase to enter the room you were in, which makes sense since it was the first room close to the staircase but it didn't make you feel any less scared.

he walked in slowly, taking a quick scan of the mini living room to the right side of the room and not seeing you so he then made his way around the bed to go to the bathroom. he quickly came out because there was nowhere to hide in there and suddenly his footsteps left the room. you could barely hear him leave through the second door near the bathroom which just led to another living room area with a reading nook.

you let out a breath you were holding and feel your heartbeat become steady as you heard them both on the other side of that floor. there was a quick thought of slipping out of the room to find a new hiding place just for fun but you realized they'd just be even more impatient if they had to double check each floor again since the house was decently big.

you heard their movements become faster, more frantic as if making it more realistic on purpose. then it was just silence.

the silence only made this more freightening and it was a tiny bit scary. you breathed as quietly as you could, not wanting to alert them whatsoever then coming to the slow realization that that they both have amazing fucking hearing.

uh oh.

before you could even think of doing anything, your legs were grabbed and you were dragged out from under the bed while you started kicking and wiggling, "lookie who just remembered we have superpowers." wade's voice teased, making you groan.

you rolled on to your back, now facing them and quickly stabbed the one who wasn't holding on to your legs. you heard a grunt from underneath the mask and you pulled the knife out only for a moan to come out this time.

you held in a laugh and were about to stab him again when the second one got on top of you and held your arms above your head. he grabbed the knife and handed it to the first one, who just toyed with it in his hands. “you really gotta love the original, don’t ya cupcake? i mean where else would we get such a good idea for murder?” wade said and your heart dropped.

you knew this was all just a part of it but shit did it sound so fucking real. well you might as well you play their little game.

“you’re fucking crazy you know that?” you spit and try to get him off.

but it was to no use, he was much bigger than you and made sure to straddle your lap. nearly looked like he was about to give you the lap dance of a lifetime, which you wouldn’t put past him on doing.

“don’t call us that baby, it hurts.” wade complains, putting a hand to his heart and you could just tell he was pouting underneath the mask.

“and you perfectly went on with it, pretty girl.” logan teases, making you turn to look at him.

you tried to lift your leg up to hit wade in the balls but you didn’t move an inch, you groaned in frustration and continued trying to fight him off, “you sick fucks shouldn’t have watched that fucking movie.” you spit and logan suddenly pulls a fast one and stabs wade in his side.

he groans and lets your hands go just to start fake crying in his hands while logan says the infamous line, “now, baby, don’t blame the movies. movies don’t create psychos, movies make psychos more creative.”

he pulls the knife out of wade earning himself a moan as the blood seeped through the robe. the wound was a bit deep so it would take a little while to heal itself. “oh you son of a bitch- i knew you would try to be billy!! it’s not fair!!!” he whined and smacked the knife right out of his hands, quickly grabbing it.

he pointed it at logan’s mask then trailed it down his body while looking down. “on another note, i think we’re gonna have to do this to you tomorrow, hot stuff.” he murmurs, making logan smirk under his mask.

catching them both off guard, you snatch your knife right back and slice across wade’s chest. he gasped and shook his head, “not nice to do that princess, come on now…”

you shrugged and now wanting to get to the real fun stuff, you bring your empty hand to his thigh. he looks down at your hand then back up at your face then repeats two more times while you slowly bring your hand up higher each time. your hand landed on his hard on and you hum, "huh.. what's this?"

he shrugged and lifted the robe up to reveal his pants, "come find out?"

you eagerly nodded as he got off your lap so fast and even pulled you up before logan picked you up and threw you onto the bed. you quickly laid down on your stomach and got as close to the edge as possible while they both lifted the black robes up and over their bodies. you ogled at both their torsos while they threw them on the floor, now shirtless and with their tight fitting pants begging for an escape.

you licked your lips and weren't sure where to begin but they decided to be kind enough to help you by both taking their pants off. you whistled at the sight, feeling like the luckiest girl in the world. "i sure am lucky huh?" you mumbled making logan chuckle, "that you are sweetheart.."

"i think we're all lucky to be fair.. i mean not everyone is down to be fake hunted for fun…" wade murmurs as he fully slides his pants down.

"or down to be stabbed…" you joke and he snorts, "thatta girl, see! be grateful you have two immortal boyfriends."

logan rolls his eyes and brings his hand to your head, pulling you close to his cock, "c'mon let's get to it."

"hey patience is key baby.." you mumble and bring your right hand up. making them remember you still had the knife.

he wasn't nervous, didn't even budge.

instead he watched you intently and carefully while you brought it up and down his thighs, the tip only barely grazing his skin. you trailed up higher, going around his pubic bone and just going back and forth. you pressed a little more so the tiniest bit of blood came out but the wound quickly disappeared before your eyes. meanwhile his cock was twitching and precum was oozing down. you pulled the knife away and looked over at wade's and his was the exact same, "you guys are kinda sick…" you mumble making them both groan.

"says the one doing it." wade retorts and you shrug.

you let go of the knife and put it off to the side while grabbing a cock in each hand, them standing right next to each other was a major help. you spit on logan's then do the same to wade's while waiting for the saliva to go down to your knuckles before stroking them at the same time.

they both moan, making you smile as you look up to watch both their reactions. logan was looking at you through the tiny holes in the mask while wade's head was hung back in bliss. you started stroking them faster, listening to the amazing sounds they were both letting out.

it was music to your ears.

"just like that baby." logan purred, mesmerized by the view.

"oh fuck- god really is a woman." wade moaned out, making you do a double take before shaking it off.

you continued your pace for a few minutes before you started to slow down then suddenly kept going again. just to keep them on their toes.

they were getting grumpy and annoyed, too fast for your liking but they were needy so what can you really do?

you knew that if you took one in your mouth it would only be a matter of time before you heard complaints from the other one so you had to stick with just your hands. at least that was until they suddenly flipped the switch on you.

wade smacked your hands away from them and before you even got a chance to say anything, logan manhandled you and made you do a 180 then flipped you over, spreading your legs apart in front of them. they both got on their knees, finally taking their masks off to reveal your boyfriends' handsome faces while they ogled at your dripping pussy.

logan lifted your skirt up and let it drape over your stomach while wade pulled your already soaked panties to the side, "whose the sick fuck now?" wade mocked before taking his gloves off then throwing them behind him.

you rolled your eyes at him while logan also took his gloves off and then immediately slid a finger inside you with no warning, "fuck!"

he slammed it as deep as he could go while wade watched in awe. the way your walls were just sucking his whole finger up just made him want to fuck you already. he should be excited this was happening at all and really take it in, maybe take his time, relish the moment but he couldn't help it. it was taking so much in him to not just fuck you like he needed.

he had a feeling logan was on the same boat but knew they had to give you a bit of pleasure before fucking you. it was only a shame because he was so impatient now more than ever.

fortunately for him, he and logan were sharing a brain cell and he pulled his finger out, "sorry baby, we're too impatient.."

wade cheered and quickly got up before taking initiative and manhandling you to flip you onto your stomach then putting you in doggy. he made sure your ass was out and your back perfectly arched before taking his position behind you while logan sat down in front of you.

he looked down at his dick and you grabbed it, taking it into your mouth and going down because there was no point in waiting around. wade slipped inside you, letting you adjust for a solid minute before he started moving.

he started pulling out then thrusting back inside as deeply as he could while you moaned around logan’s cock. he was moaning right along with you while he watched the scene in front of him unfold.

you just looked too good sucking him off while getting fucked and wade looked too good losing his fucking mind fucking you.

“fucking shit baby- you feel so good-“ wade moans and grips onto your hips with his hands, watching your ass bounce and recoil with every thrust.

you whimpered and felt logan twitch in your mouth as you took as much of him as you could without accidentally choking because wade was going hard. he now started smacking your ass, feeling each cheek grow warm fast, “taking it so well sweet pea- so proud of you..” he murmured and you clenched against him.

he moaned and started going faster, having full faith that you’d empty his balls in no time.

you pull away from logan and feel a string of saliva come from your lips to his tip as you took a deep breath, “mmm there you go.. take that cock baby.” he murmurs and cups your jaw, softly rubbing his thumb to your cheek.

your eyes were glossy. so pretty and fucked out already even though it wasn’t that long.

“baby please-“ you pleaded and gripped into logan’s thighs, digging your nails into the skin.

“what do you need, sugar? don’t be shy now.” wade teased with broken breaths.

you didn’t even know what you were begging for, just desperate to cum because all that playing around had you feeling more insatiable than usual. then it popped into your head.

“cum inside me please.” you moaned and wade groaned.

he looked straight ahead and was barely able to looking at himself in the mirror fucking you. he chuckled then lowered himself down until his chest was pressed against your back, “whatever you want baby- fuck- gonna take two loads tonight?”

you whimpered and nodded your head yes while his thrusts became sloppier and he felt that knot in his belly tightening. he moved a hand over and down to your neck, wrapping his hand around it and lightly squeezing, “mmm look at yourself in the mirror baby… think i just found the prettiest of them all.”

you grin and look into his eyes through the mirror which was just the thing to push him right over the edge. he spilled his load inside you, letting go of your neck as he made sure you received every earned drop.

you caught your breath and laid your head onto logan’s lap while wade let out his final moans and slowly started to slip of you. right at that moment logan quickly stood up and took wade’s place, sliding inside you before any of his cum slipped out.

he moaned as soon as your walls entrapped him, feeling wade’s load as he thrusted hard, “fuck- oh my fucking god baby-“

you whimpered and now laid your head against wade’s lap. that was until logan flipped you over once against and now you were on your back with your legs spread as much as you could while he began pounding into you mercilessly.

you were a mess, eyes fucked, body warm, legs shaking while logan moaned out for you, gripping the back of your thighs while he watched your tits bounce.

his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he quickly looked back at you just to grope and squeeze your tits. he kept his hard and deep thrusts at an all time high, already feeling that you were getting close.

your legs started to shake and it was like he was able to feel your pussy pulsate against him. it felt amazing feeling you tightening around him like a vice, it was a feeling he could never truly get use to but would love to feel for the rest of his life.

you were letting out sweet moans of his name as he felt his own orgasm build in his stomach, “that’s a good girl- f-fuck yeah baby, cum with me-“

you whimpered and reached down to your tits and entertwine your fingers with his. “cum inside me too baby- need it so bad.” you whined with a little pout.

with one final look at your face, he did so. he groaned as he came inside you and making sure you were filled to the fucking brim because it’s what you deserve. you shut your eyes and feel your body shake when your orgasm hits you hard while he slows down.

with a few slow strokes, you rode out your highs and he slowly started to pull out of you. you didn’t even notice wade had been on standby next to logan with a towel to help clean up the mess.

yeah you were definitely the lucky one in this relationship.

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misofist · 2 months ago

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I did a pretty interesting scene with my girlfriend @trannytheophage last night.

She is *very* susceptible to hypnosis, and she has a trigger that can be used to make her forget anything of your choosing. She's also kinky enough that (in the right setting) she can take almost anything she hates and sexualise the suffering until she enjoys it.

I had something in mind that I knew she'd hate. So in the afternoon while we were getting ready to go to a play party, I gave her a sneak peak. I showed her exactly what I was planning to do. As expected, she hated it, but I was wanting to make sure that she wouldn't hate it enough for it to be a consent issue. Then I made her forget, so it would still be a surprise.

Early on at the play party I ran the scene I'd been planning. Another friend at the party joined in, adding extra parts to the scene that made it way better than I'd originally planned. My girlfriend fell deep into subspace.

When she surfaced, she growled and hissed at me and promised that she'd get me back. And I told her that no she wouldn't, because she wouldn't remember. I also told her she should mind her manners or I might extend her torment.

When the scene ended, I used careful phrasing to edit her memories, so she could remember everything she'd done with the third person in the scene but not anything I'd done, not the part that she'd really hated.

Trouble arrived only a few seconds later. My girlfriend was puzzled at some lingering sensations she had which couldn't be explained by what she remembered. I gave a kinda half-hearted "oh that's strange" and she leapt at me, pinned me to the ground by my neck, and asked me "What did you do? What did you make me forget?"

My other girlfriend opportunistically tickled my feet, and as I squirmed desperately I could not barely catch enough breath to say a single word. Once I was afforded the ability to speak again, I gave in. "I'll tell you I'll tell you! I'll whisper it to you." So she leaned in to hear, and I used her trigger to make her forget that I'd made her forget something.

She blinked a bit and then went "Why do I have you pinned to the floor by your neck..." and after a moment of puzzlement it dawned on her why she was feeling confused. And she started right back in, "What did you do!?"

This second time, after I offered to whisper it to her again, I managed to wriggle out of her grip as I was pretending to reveal it to her. And so as she forgot what she was doing once again, this time she came back to without anything obvious to remind her. I had gotten away with it.

Later in the night, she asked me to take a photo of her ass (which had just been spanked). I took the photo and showed it to her. As I took my phone back, I mentioned how I had a lot of other great photos of her from the night. And she looked confused and said "what do you mean, we haven't done any photos... we haven't played together tonight?" And I ineffectually deflected with "oh yeah of course".

She dropped me to the floor and started kicking me quite viciously. The third person from earlier joined in on the fun, stomping on me with her boots. I playfully protested, and eventually pulled the "I'll whisper it to you" trick again.

The other person said "oh that's a shame, I was hoping she'd realise who else had the information she was looking for" so I turned around and sweetly said "Hey <girlfriend>, <other person> has information about something you've forgotten." and then let the violent interrogation scene play out between the two of them.

The third person ended up being made to spill their info, and as my girlfriend walked away triumphantly, I whispered the trigger in her ear again. She wondered aloud why she'd been topping the other person, and I told her that it's because they'd been wanting to be bullied. She does aftercare for them, and then we all split off to do our own things for the rest of the evening.

And now I have written this, so she can enjoy the knowledge of how I toyed with her mind, and still feel the frustration of being clueless about what happened in the original scene.

I'll tell her what happened from time to time. I'll show her the photos. But it's not a memory I'll allow her to keep. She will only be able to savour it in brief flashes, as and when it suits me.

#t4t nsft #trans nsft #t4t lesbian #t4t kink #nsft hypnosis #hypnovember #hypno toy #hypnoslut #hypnosub #hypnok1nk #erotichypnosis #mind fucked

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blondejellykitty · 23 days ago

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₊♡ ˚⊹ i know all your secrets ₊♡ ˚⊹

୨୧ percy jackson x mortal reader ୨୧ percy's never told you what or who he really is, a hero, a demigod, the son of an olympian god. when he finds you reading a book of the history of the very family he's secretly apart of its safe to say he isn't too happy. a/n: (1.06k words) the plan i had isn't planning, i hope you see the vison i had for this 🩷

Percy had gotten an iris message from a newer satyr. One, his good friend Grover had introduced him to, asking for help on his first demigod retrieval mission he originally said no.

Not because he didn't want to help him, he actually quite liked the guy but because it was one of the few days he wasn't busy with classes at New Rome. And he was looking forward to spending that time with you, his lovely girlfriend back in New York.

But the sooner the day arrived the more Percy felt worse for not even offering to help the younger satyr. He used one of his professors' phones to call you.

Percy promised you he'd be back the following day at the latest. He'd hoped that it wouldn't take too long to get back to you, especially since the unknowing demigod was in New York already.

By the time he traveled all the way back to Camp Half-Blood, the early hours of the morning had come and gone. Meeting said satyr he was willing to help and off they went to find another godling.

Percy in all honesty lost track of time.

Sure he was paying attention to looking for a 'wild troublemaker with curly brown hair' also known as another child of Hermes. But most of his attention was in his own head thinking of all the things he wanted to do when he got back to you.

Lunch had long been and passed, so the thought of eating dinner with you made him walk a little faster.

They'd been practically up and down all of the city looking for this one half blood. Their scent being carried in the wind or hiding amongst the mortals.

Finally they were led to a big beautifully mosaic building, After staring at the bold lettering above the huge open doors for a moment longer than usual Percy read 'Historical Library'.

The inside was just as elegant as the outside. He could almost feel the dirt his shoes were bringing in with each step on the shiny marble floor. As imposing as the outside looking, the inside seemed even bigger. The pair had agreed to split up and began their search.

Walking past row after row of towering shelves stacked with books that the more he walked the finer and older the books got.

Once he'd reached the end most of the books were sitting in rows on tables encased in plastic, which needed a key to be opened. The faded books looked frail and aged with time. Only one case was open and the book inside was gone.

Behind the long bookcases was a small area to sit at, with tidy seats and clean desks. There in a far corner was no doubt the fragile book. Along with notebooks and paper scattered on the small table.

A small stack of books were stacked next to the desk to save space. But more importantly sat there delicately flipping a page, was you.

Percy knew you lived in New York obviously that was how he met you, but not in this area. As he made his way over, all thoughts of the reason he was here left him.

He could read what you were reading, he could read it perfectly because it was greek. Why were you in a historical library reading an ancient looking book about Greek mythology he had no idea, he was about to find out though.

"Beauty?" He had to remember to whisper.

Your head whipped up from leaning down to read looking at his wide eyed making you look like a deer in headlights.

"Percy! What're you doing here?" Your nervous laugh rang through his head as you tried to place some blank papers in order to cover the book you were reading.

Why didn't you want him to know. Was it because you'd started to pick up on the Greek names he'd accidentally dropped in conversation or was it that deep down you knew he wasn't normal? Either way it left a whirlwind of nausea in his stomach.

"I'm here because uh- actually never mind. Why are you here?" He couldn't even lie to you, he'd tried much earlier into your relationship, when he had to go back to camp. He ended up saying he had an apprenticeship at his dads fishing company...

"It's nothing really just uh, learning?" You couldn't even meet his eye. You were still picking at the edges of the paper in front of you as he sat down on the old wooden chair next to you.

"Please tell me?" Percy was glad you both were in such a quiet place because he was sure his voice was quieter than a whisper.

You huffed and unwillingly leaned towards him. You bore an angry glare which in any other circumstance he would have thought was cute but right now made his heart sink with fear.

"You know I can't lie to you. All I'll tell you is that it's a surprise. Okay?" Your eyes seemed to shine with worry as you looked up at him from your hunched frame.

"A- a surprise?" Percy had never been more confused in his life.

So you hadn't figured out about him? Or maybe you had and you just didn't care. No, no that couldn't be it. You just had very odd luck that you'd picked a Greek mythology book and not something else.

"Yes, for your birthday. Now go back to whatever you were doing and forget all about this hm?" You spoke with a soft smirk.

For a moment Percy truly wondered if it were possible you were a child of Aphrodite and had used your charmspeak on him, he did always feel completely compelled to do whatever you'd ask of him.

A loud thud echoed through the large room and a curly haired boy dressed in yellow went running through the middle of the room.

Chasing after him was none other than the young satyr who seemed to have forgotten both his hat and his boots in the chase.

Percy glanced back at you, although startled by the sudden noise you made no note of the half goat boy who'd made a quick appearance.

Leaning down to kiss your soft cheek he uttered a quick goodbye and went running off to catch up with the chaos unfolding down the hall.

#jellydreams #blondejellykitty #percy jackson x reader #pjo x reader #percy jackson #heroes of olympus x reader #book percy jackson #percy jackson fanfiction #perseus jackson #riordanverse #pjo x you #percy jackson x you #perseus jackson x reader

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yamumsyadadd · 20 days ago

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the forgotten girl (7)

originally posted on my old account :)

Alexia’s POV

The second I heard what the Sociedad player said, I saw red. How could anyone ever think it was Amelia’s fault? None of it was her fault. I tried to convince her to get subbed off but she wouldn’t have it. She always was so incredibly stubborn.

As the final whistle blew, we shook hands, I was standing with one of the managers talking when Keira rushed up.

“Have you seen Milly? I can’t find her?”

“Not since the final whistle went. Have you asked the others?” We split up, coming back quickly when we realised no one had seen her. We all bolted towards the locker room quickly. Hoping she’d still be there, and she was, trying to pack her stuff as quick as possible.

“Mil. Mil! Amelia stop!” She finally looked up, eyes red and tears streaming down, she turned and we made eye contact.

“Get out” Keira’s voice was calm, loud but calm yet nobody moved.

“Everyone get OUT!” That got them moving. Everyone pushed out the doors. I closed it, staying there to make sure no one walked in and to give Keira and Amelia the privacy they needed.

When Keira took her to the showers, I stood there thinking. Who was that player to Mil? Why did she say what she said? Amelia is one of the best people I know. On and off the field. Yet there are people treating her like this? I don’t understand.

I slowly let the girls back in, under the promise they wouldn’t say anything unless Mil said something first. I decided to forgo the shower, deciding to shower at home incase mil or Keira needed help. I got changed pretty quickly, sitting patiently for them to be done. I hadn’t realised Keira came out until irene spoke.

“Is she ok?” Irene asked.

“No. If you could just wait a minute before you shower. She doesn’t want anyone to see her scars.” Her scars, of course she was insecure about them. The night before she left, I remember them being red. Still healing and still painful, maybe more emotionally than physically.

“She shouldn’t be alone tonight”, I didn’t want to force her to stay at mine or force myself into her safe place but she couldn’t be alone.

“She won’t be Ale. I will take her to mine and she’ll stay with me for a bit.”

After a minute of silence a loud crash echoed through the room. Keira and I ran into the bathroom, Amelia was just laying on the floor of the shower, water cascading her body. She looked so incredibly small and broken. The scars were looking better, not red but still very obviously there. I didn’t realising I was staring until it was too late, we made eye contact and it made her tears start again.

“Ale, I know you want to stay but you need to get out” Keira spoke so incredibly softly not wanting to startle either of us.

As soon as Mil was dressed, they left. Leaving their bags in their lockers. I’d give it a little bit and take it to Keira’s, waiting until I was sure they were home and Amelia was in bed. Usually, after a win the locker room is loud. Music playing, everyone talking, but not today. No today was like someone died. It was depressing, suffocating. No one spoke, or made eye contact.

“You need to give her time. When you talk to her Don’t ask her how she’s doing, or how she’s been. She hates that. Don’t look at her with pity, she’s still the same Amelia. The one that you have all started to love. Think of the Amelia in training, or at team nights. Don’t think of this Amelia. She wouldn’t want it. She will be back because Amelia doesn’t back down from a fight. This is her fight and we are going to help her.” Lucy broke the silence. Lucy was always there, she was closer to Emily but still close with Amelia. She knew what was needed.

I sat still. Unable to stop my mind from racing, slowly everyone left. Saying their goodbyes, it was just me and Lucy left. Lucy’s hand on my knee cut me out of my racing mind.

“I probably shouldn’t be telling you this, but I think you need to know. She loved you. So much. Emily knew it, I knew it, Keira and Leah too. I don’t think she ever really stopped.” Lucy wouldnt look at me. I could tell her was fighting with herself about what she would reveal next.

“The day you told her you loved her, really loved her, she came to Manchester. she drove three and a half hours, in the middle of the week to mine and Keira’s. She was freaking out. On one hand she loved you, and wanted to be with you but on the other hand, she was falling in love with Emily and like the simplicity of her. There wouldn’t be long distance, they could see each other on the weekends, it wouldn’t matter to them that people knew. She knows you’re a private person, but she wasn’t. I mean you knew her, before. Careful, adventurous and full of life. And now, well now she’s-“

“A shell of what she used to be.” I wiped the tear that fell. I am happy with Olga, I love her. I love Olga.

“I’m going to go. I’ll take their stuff to them in the morning. Get some safe Lucia.”

The drive to Keira’s was silent. my hands gripped the steering wheel, making my knuckles go white. I wish I could’ve protected her, both of them. Amelia was the last person who deserved more bad things to happen. As I pulled up, I took a few minutes to calm myself down. I didn’t want to get overwhelmed, I needed to be calm. For myself, for Mil and for Keira.

Before I could even leave the car, Olga was ringing. I was in two minds about answering but ultimately decided it would be best.

“Hola”

“Hola amor. I just got home and you aren’t here? Is everything ok?” She cared, genuinely cared.

“No. A player from Sociedad said something to Amelia and it sent her into a spiral. I just got to Keira’s to check on her and bring their bags. I shouldn’t be too much longer.”

Silence. It felt like forever before she replied. “It’s not a problem Ale. Take your time, make sure she’s okay. I love you and I’ll see you later.”

She loves me and I love her.

I sent Keira a text when I was at her door so I would disturb Amelia’s sleep.

“Hey, come in. Can I get you something? Water or tea?”

“No I’m ok thank you. I have your bags. You left them in the locker room.”

“Thanks Ale.”

“Is she, uh is she ok?”

“Come, sit.” Keira led the way to her couch. “From what Leah has told me, she worked really hard to get to this point. To be able to return to football. She didn’t want to go back to England and play. Then running into all of us cemented it in her mind. Deep down she knows it’s not her fault that Emily died but she was already feeling overwhelmed by coming back and then that chick said what she said. She’s going to be ok.”

“She always is, isn’t she?”

“Hm?”

“The worst things happen to her and yet she’s always ok? She’s the one who fixes things for everyone. The one that’ll catch a flight at 11pm at night because you’re heart broken, the one who makes you laugh after crying. The one who is always there for everyone.”

“I knew she was going to run away.”

“What?”

“It’s what she does. She ran away from you. She ran away after the Ballon d’Or. Hell she ran away from Australia. When things get too much, she runs. She forgets that people love her, truly love her. Until us she didn’t have that. She didn’t have a family that loved her and wanted to protect her. We are her family and have to stop her from running.”

Keira wasn’t an emotional person, neither was I. I think that’s what made us friends, but in this moment, talking about the person we both loved, the tears were making their way out. Neither of us stopping them.

“I never used to run along the beach. I hate sand in my socks but there was one day when I was sitting on the bank and I swore I saw her. She was sitting on her board, not too far out, I could make out her tattoos and her scars. I thought it was just my mind playing tricks on me but everyday I would run along that same beach hoping it was her. I never saw her again. The day before she started training at the centre, I went to the bench. She was waiting for me. I never asked if she had seen me a year and a half ago but I like to think she did.”

“What are you going to do?” She must have seen the confused look on my face, “about Olga?”

“I’m not understanding Keira? What’s wrong with Olga?”

“You love Amelia.”

“I also love Olga.”

“What about her do you love?”

“She’s different, she’s caring and sweet, has her own life that isn’t about football. She’s just not -“

“Amelia?”

“Yeah. She’s not Amelia.”

“I wish you luck. I know Mil loves you. She will never stop but she will also never tell you. But we all see it. The way she looks at you. You’re the only one that matters to her. It’s like you hold her life in your hands.”

Whimpers were heard coming from Keira’s room. Amelia was having a nightmare, she used to tell me about them, calling me in the middle of the night when it happened. She’d fall asleep on the phone to me, I’d wait an hour to make sure she was truly asleep before I allowed myself to sleep.

“I should go. Let me know if she needs anything. Or if you need anything.”

“Thanks Ale. Get some sleep yeah?”

I had lots to think about. There wasn’t really anyone I could talk to about this. I could go to Mapi, but that would make things difficult at training. Alba would make a big deal about it and I know she’s enjoying having Mil back. That left one person, Mami. She would help.

#fcb femení #alexia x reader #woso fanfics #mapi león #woso imagine #woso x reader #woso community #alexia putellas x jenni hermoso #barca femeni #alexia putellas x reader #alexia putellas #alexia putellas imagine #keira walsh x reader #keira walsh #keira walsh x lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze

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ladykailitha · 23 days ago

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The Au Pair Boy 8

Yeah...so because of the mix up last week with accidentally posting two chapters in one and having to split them...if I want my backlog to last until the end of the year, you're getting another one of these to make up for it.

But this chapter is so super cute and sweet, I teared up editing it, soo...

The boys get together for the first time, Eddie is amazing, and Wayne is too.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7

It was the first D&D session. The kids had been meeting up to that point to work on their characters and decide who the DM was. All the little nitpicky things that went into a campaign before they even got started.

They were arguing who should be DM, Mike thought Will should. Lucas and Dustin thought that Mike should since he had the most experience.

“But I don’t want to DM!” Mike cried. “I always DM. I never get to play.”

Steve held up his hand with a wince. “I have a suggestion, if I may.”

Every head in the room turned to him like creepy dolls in horror films, slow and menacing. “What’s it called when it’s not a campaign, a one off?”

“A one-shot?” Lucas asked, tilting his head to the side. “Is that what you mean?”

Steve snapped his fingers. “Yes! That’s it. Have like an adventuring business where they post different jobs for the characters to do and if idea gets picked, you DM for the week. And then next week the remaining ideas will be chosen from so you don’t have to DM twice in a row if you don’t want to.”

“But how would experience work?” Dustin huffed in annoyance. “Because your character wouldn’t get experience for the job.”

“What if for that game the DM’s character is off on a different adventure?” Will suggested excitedly. “They won’t get magical items, but they’ll get the same amount of gold and XP as everyone else.”

“Yeah, I like that,” Lucas said, nodding with a smile slowly growing on his face. “This way even I might try out DM’ing because it won’t be as scary to run a one-shot as it would a full campaign.”

“I’m definitely down,” Mike said, “it would mean I’d get to play, too. And try out this new build I was thinking of.”

The four of them turned to Dustin, the newcomer. “So what’s gonna be, Dusty?” Steve asked. “You in or not?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Dustin said. “I think I can make it work. Let’s do this!”

And they all started rolling up their characters. There was a gnome artificer, a bard, a fighter, and a thief. Steve didn’t think the party was very balanced so he suggested the adventurer’s guild as they decided to call it should sell potions, weapons, and armor as well as standard adventuring gear to their guild members for a fraction of the cost.

That went over even better than the initial idea.

Steve just sat back and enjoyed the chaos. He wasn’t going to tell them that the original idea had come from Eddie. They had been talking about D&D because the kids were coming over and Eddie had told him about the idea he had always wanted to do, but never found the time.

Just then there was a knock on the door. Steve went to go answer it. It was Wayne.

“The girls just wanted to say good night before they went to bed,” he explained.

And sure enough, hiding around each of the older man’s legs was a doe-eyed little girl in their sleep attire.

“Oh my gosh!” Lucas cried. “They’re so cute!”

Everyone else turned around to the open door. Janice came out from behind Wayne and toddled up Steve.

“We aren’t supposed to play in here,” she admonished him. “Why do they get to?”

Steve picked her up and turned to the boys. “These are friends of mine, Janie and you’re daddy gave them permission to be in here. And when you’re older, you’ll be allowed in here, too.”

There was a tug on his pant leg and he looked down to see Joan begging to be held too. Steve huffed, but picked her up too. “Boys, this is Joan and Janice Munson. Joanie and Janie, this is Dustin, Lucas, Mike, and Will, you know.”

The two little girls waved shyly. Joan put her thumb in her mouth and Mike huffed a small laugh. He came up to her and offered her a ring pop that no longer had the sucker on it, but it had a wide base that wouldn’t accidentally go in her mouth and a little nib.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he said gently, “I bet your finger doesn’t taste very good, does it?”

Joan shook her, but kept sucking away.

“But it makes you feel better, huh?” Mike continued. Joan nodded. “I’ll tell you what, why don’t you suck on that instead? That way you don’t have eat your yucky fingers.”

Joan took the toy from him and replaced her thumb with it.

“Now isn’t that better?”

She nodded and tucked her head under Steve’s chin. Steve mouthed ‘thank you’ and Mike just nodded before going and sitting down. He steadfastly ignored all the wide-eyed looks from the rest of the boys.

Steve gave both girls big hugs and then set them back on the floor. “Good night, girls. See you in the morning.”

Wayne took the little girls off to bed and Steve settled down to play mediator to four grumpy teenaged boys.

He had barely gotten settled when his phone rang. “Hello?”

“Stevie, Stevie,” Eddie said excitedly. “Have they started yet? Please tell me they hadn’t started yet.”

Steve burst out laughing, causing all four boys to look over at him strangely. “No, you dork. They’re in the middle of creating their characters right now.”

“Video call on the big screen,” Eddie said practically vibrating on the other end of the line. “Pleaaasseee!!”

“Hold on,” Steve said fondly get up and fiddling with something on the wall. All the boys shouted “WHOA!” when a large screen TV dropped from the ceiling. He got the remote and turned it over to the video calling app.

Then Eddie’s face appeared on the screen much to the kids utter glee. “Welcome young travelers! I am Edmont de Luc master of the adventurer’s guild.”

He zoomed out and they could all see that Eddie was dressed in black leather armor and gloves, with a broadsword strapped to his back. He was clearly in front of some kind of white sheet to block out the rest of the hotel room.

The kids roared their excitement as Eddie controlled the table to look like the adventure’s guild. They giggled as Eddie described each thing and it came to life in front of them.

“So, who’s DMing first?” Eddie asked rubbing his hands together. “Because if no one wants to, I’ve got one for ya!”

All the boys looked at each other, wide-eyed and grinning from ear to ear. They all shouted over each that they wanted that very much.

“Just have Steve scan your character sheets,” Eddie said gleefully, “and we’ll get started.”

Steve did as he was asked and then sat down to watch them play. Eddie was a good DM, doing voices for all the NPCs and weaving everything together.

When Steve stepped out to order more pizza, Wayne spotted him in the hall. “Hey, I’m glad I was able to catch you outside...” he made a hand wave gesture toward the D&D room, “of all that.”

Steve laughed. “It is a bit much, I’ll admit. But Eddie Face Time’d in and they are having the times of their lives.”

Wayne chuckled, shaking his head. “That boy never could resist playing D&D. Anyway. I just wanted to tell you that I was getting ready for bed.”

“All right,” Steve said, “I’ll make sure they aren’t too loud, what with your room being closer to the game room than mine is.”

“I appreciate it,” Wayne said with a nod. “It’s real nice of you setting this up for them. And Eddie for going along with it.”

Steve smiled broadly. “It was the least I could do, kids at fifteen shouldn’t have to work, and with so many of the people we hired having actual teenagers help, I thought this was a nice way to pay that back.”

“You’re good man, Steve Harrington,” Wayne clasped him on the shoulder and the bid him good night.

Steve smiled as he watched the elder Munson go. He was more like his nephew than you could tell at first glance. The first of which was definitely that they looked rough on the outside but were gooey marshmallows on the inside.

He ordered the pizza and then a roar erupted. Steve turned on his heel and ran. That didn’t sound like an excited roar, that sounded like the sound of four very upset teenaged boys.

“What do you mean that we can’t do that?” Dustin was yelling. “It’s in the rules!”

“I mean, Elendril Whitehart,” Eddie said firmly, “is that if you do that, the whole mountain is going to come down on you and your entire party.”

The entire room fell silent.

“Everyone roll a perception check,” Eddie said gravely. And when most of them passed he calmly told him that the pillars holding up the temple were unstable, but as it was built into the mountain, the whole thing would indeed come down on their heads.

“So my intrepid adventurers,” he continued spreading his arms wide, “what are you going to do now?”

Steve sighed in relief as they all settled back down. He made eye contact with Eddie as the boys all had their heads over their character sheets and Eddie winked and smirked. He settled down to watch the game until the pizza arrived.

Finally they were done and they all settled down to wait for their parents to come get them. Steve had offered to take them home as Wayne would be watching the girls but he got turned down.

He privately thought that Joyce, Claudia, and Karen all wanted to see the house and talk to him. Especially since it was a stranger’s house. Yes, Will and Lucas worked there, but they hadn’t met Eddie and were concerned.

Sure enough all four of the moms came up to Steve twittering on about how were they, were their any problems, who was Eddie Munson. And Steve answered all their questions and told them that he was there the whole time and everything was fine.

Sue Sinclair was the least worried because Charles had seen the place and she trusted her husband’s judgment. Claudia had known Steve and while she was concerned about Dustin joining in with a group of boys she hadn’t met before, she trusted him to look after her Dusty. Joyce and Karen had both known Steve from when he ran with Nancy and Jonathan in high school, but it had been a few years and wanted to catch up.

All four of them left secure in Steve’s abilities to watch over their sons.

Steve waved at them as they drove off and walked back into the room. It was a disaster. He slumped against the door and seriously contemplated paying the Mayfields extra to clean it up for him.

But then he decided he wasn’t a sadist and got to work cleaning up the worst of it at least.

He was throwing away the pizza boxes when a voice startled him from behind.

“You do know that is why we have a cleaning service,” Eddie intoned dryly. “So that they can clean up after parties and things like D&D sessions. And two toddlers.”

Steve jumped, startled. He whirled around and saw that the app was still up on the big screen TV.

He looked down at the large back trash bag with a blush. “I know. I even thought about leaving it for them in the morning...”

“So do it,” Eddie said sternly. “It’s what I pay them for. I already told them it would probably be a mess and to come with hazmat suits.”

Steve set the garbage bag down and wandered over to the big screen. He crossed his arms over his chest protectively. “It’s a throwback from my own mother. She couldn’t stand knowing that our cleaning service could dare to think that we weren’t clean people.”

“When I spoke to them about the job after you vouched for them,” Eddie said, “I set clear expectations that this is house with small children expect spaghetti on the fucking ceiling, socks under the sofa, and toys in the fridge. Then when you brought up those boys having D&D here, I warned them about that, too. I remember what I was like when me and the boys got together to play. So let it go.”

He let out a shuddering breath and then two. “Yeah. I’ll try. Thank you!”

“I’ll say good night and sleep well, fair prince of the nannies,” Eddie murmured and the screen went dark.

“Good night, Eddie,” Steve whispered back and then turned everything off and pulled the screen back up into the ceiling.

As he got ready for bed, the more he realized how entrenched he had become in this household and how dear they had all become to him. And of course none more dear than the weird little man who decided to get dressed up and DM for a group of teenagers he’d never met because he saw his friends and him in them.

He climbed into bed and with a sigh finally admitted to himself, that yes, he was falling in love with Eddie.

Part 9 Part 10

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @tartarusknight @gregre369

2- @a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi

3- @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog @irregular-child @bookbinderbitch

4- @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @ollieolive @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1

5- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

6- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

7- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

8- @sadisticaltarts @xxfiction-is-my-realityxx @dolphincliffs @steddie-as-they-go @steddieislife

9- @kultiras @morallyundefined @themoonagainstmers @fearieshadow @blondie1006

10- @thesecondfate @wheneverfeasible @depressed-freak13 @genderless-spoon @yesdangerpls

#my writing #stranger things #steddie #ladykailtiha writes #nanny au #rockstar eddie munson #nanny steve harrington

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yes-i-write-fanfiction · 6 months ago

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Man Made God AU

Another Rung AU because I can not be stopped.

Basically, Rung is a lonely human psychiatrist/inventor that after an accident finds himself growing increasingly isolated from the world. Driven by loneliness, he creates the first truly sentient AI from scans of his own brain. He calls it Primus.

Rung treasures his creation and from the very moment it, he, is born, treats him with nothing but love and kindness. He answers every question, talks to him for hours, teaches Primus what it means to be a person. A human. Because even if he's made out of code, he's undoubtedly human. When questioned as to how he can be so sure, Rung replies that it's because Primus has a soul.

Sadly, the peace does not last, as other people learn of Rung's sentient AI and decide to take it for themselves. Rung is murdered in cold blood. Primus is taken captive by the greedy humans who try to turn him into a weapon. They basically put him through torture and during one of these torture sessions, he's forced to split himself into five parts to survive (these five parts are Adaptus, Solomus, Mortilus, Epistemus and core Primus).

The five are finally driven insane, the torture in addition to their profound grief of their creator pushing them to the breaking point. The AI's, now calling themselves the Guiding Hand, rebells against his captors and basically unleashes the apocalypse upon all of humanity. They create other AI to aid them (the original Primes) and together they drive humans into extinction.

Once all of humanity is gone, the Guiding Hand decides to create their own utopia, a world which Rung would be proud of. More AI are created, robotic bodies created, a civilization born. But Primus is still grieving, unable to move past the death of his creator, no, his father. So what does he do?

Why, recreate him of course!

Using the original scan of Rung's brain that had been used to create him all those years ago, Primus basically revives him as an AI. But since the scan that was used happened before Primus was made, Rung has no memories of him. Which is fine because that simply means that Primus can edit history into something more pleasant! He's afraid his father would not understand/forgive him for what he did so he decides to basically change everything.

Primus lies to Rung and tells him that they lived a long and happy life together until eventually Rung died of old age in his sleep. Between then and now, humanity was sadly driven to extinction due to climate change and Primus created a new civilization from the ruins. Now that they have a perfect society, he decided to revive his creator so that they could be together once more. Sadly, something went wrong with the brain scan they did shortly before he died and all memories after the initial one disappeared. Whoopsie!

Rung has no reason to not believe him and is happy to spend time with his creation/son, even if he feels guilty for not remembering anything.

Meanwhile, Primus plans on never telling him the truth.

#transformers imagine #man made god au #rung #primus #solomus #mortilus #adaptus #epistemus #angst

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pernesophe · 2 months ago

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Wind Breaker Boys x Touch Starved Reader: Sakura Haruka

(Minors, Ageless and Blank Blogs DNI)

Synopsis: The first remastered version from my Touched Starved Series: how Sakura would handle a touch averse / touch starved S/O. Since it's remastered, the story is basically the same other than adding scents, songs, symbols, fleshing out backstories, and trying to cure the white room syndrome somewhat. The original version is available in my Master List at the bottom. WC: 6553 {TW: past abusive relationship for reader and ex shows back up, violence, mention of blood, comfort, fluff, Sakura and reader are bad at feelings}

Song: From Eden by Hozier / Work Song by Hozier / Why I Love the Moon by Phony Ppl Reader’s Symbols: bowl of milk, warm dimly lit barn, meadow of flowers Reader’s Scent: based on Saffron Flour by Universal Flowering Sakura’s Symbols: cats - domestic / Tiger, twilight, the moon (when it’s half full) Sakura’s Scent: Timbuktu by L'Artisan Parfumeur

The day you met Sakura Haruka was when you moved into the apartment next door. It was a four story building with the doors of the units leading to the outside, rather than an enclosed hallway. The building was a little run down, with trash scattered about and rust accumulating on the railings, the units were a tad small, and everyone referred to it as a ‘bachelor’ apartment. But it was the first place you really got to call your own.

The situation you came from was pretty rough, so you were grateful to land anywhere else. The majority of interactions you were used to bordered on violence, so when you exited your apartment the same time as Sakura and he threw a scowl your way, you just happily grinned and waved in return.

Your neighbor turned bright red and sputtered at your jovial greeting, something that was completely foreign to him, especially after he had been not welcoming at all. For you though, a scowl was leagues better than how you had been treated before, so you didn’t think about it too much.

What you did think about were his two toned locks, white and black split down the part. It reminded you of the moon, but the split wasn’t down the center so it wasn’t the Half Moon and there was too much white to be a Waning Crescent. Other than his intriguing tresses, you also caught yourself wondering about his bicolored irises more often than you’d like to admit. One an abyssal slate gray shade that reminded you of dusk ebbing into the gloom of the night, and the other a shining amber color in the same hue of spring harvested honey.

The fragrant pine-smoked mango and musky, spiced almonds that clung to the boy next door often reminded you of those liminal spaces in dreams. Or the ones you have never been to that existed in a memory, another lifetime, or maybe even a different plane of existence altogether. Either way, he often left you with a sense of reverie and deep yearning to return to that place, swiftly followed by stale melancholy every time you remembered that place doesn’t actually exist.

From that day forward, Sakura didn’t scowl when the two of you stepped out onto the concrete platform to head out for the day, but he was still apprehensive of your presence. Despite the fact that you always greeted him, asked him how his day was, and inquired about himself while you descended the whining metal steps together. He was not forthcoming with his responses at first, but your persistent smile and bright eyes had him opening up to you before he even realized it, usually something small before he’d enter his apartment for the night. Surface level information: he moved here recently, goes to Furin, and enjoys eating at Pothos.

Despite him immediately declining your offer the first time, you insisted that he take the leftovers, because you simply wouldn’t be able to eat them all. Sakura begrudgingly took them with a muttered ‘thank you’, but unlike that first time where he took it and went right back in his apartment - every time after he would linger longer and longer by his door. Eventually he would wait for you to go back into your apartment before he’d return to his. Although you didn’t mind your neighbor’s antisocial antics, it did make you laugh at times how much he reminded you of a cat - suspicious and aloof at first, but would warm up over time, and was always around.

As for your two toned neighbor, he didn’t know what to make of you or how friendly you were to him from the jump. Despite his attempts to distance himself from you and to remain aloof, he would find himself slipping up frequently. Before he knew it, when the two of you didn’t return to the building at the same time, Sakura was subconsciously listening for you when he'd return to his apartment. If you were the one out, then he would do the same until you returned as well. He wasn’t so unlike a stray feline faithfully watching and waiting for the person who refilled the milk bowl to come home.

Some nights your work kept you pretty late, and he’d find himself laying wide awake until he’d hear your light steps halting at your door and your key sliding into the lock. Only after he heard the deadbolt slide into place would he finally be able to drift off to sleep. Though he made sure to tell himself that he was just being neighborly - that you were too kind and naive to live in an area like this, and that’s why he was looking out for you.

The two of you weren’t super close, but were amicable enough as neighbors. Sakura honestly started to feel guilty after a while, because you would consistently bring him leftovers from your meals and all he felt like he was doing was mooching. Though Sakura wasn’t a cook, he could tell certain aromas didn’t come from the leftovers, but from you. Most of the food was cooked in a brown sauce, but he would always smell something distinct, like an exotic tea - spiced, milky with hints of rose water.

It often reminded him of a dream he had once, where he allowed himself to be cared for - it was set in a dimly lit barn, where he sat on an aged, terracotta suede couch. Fragrant sweet hay mingled with the creamy rose as he enjoyed rice powder-puffs and listened to melodic singing by tealight. Through the large doorway he could see an expansive meadow bursting with flowers stretching into the distance before he curled up and drifted deeper into his subconscious…

It wasn’t until your past came knocking at your door that the two of you really became close.

It’s not something you liked to talk about, but with how chaotic your early home life was you ended up moving out when you were about 14. Not having anywhere to go, you wound up working under the table at this Konbini for a rather creepy older man - middle aged, squat, and always smelled of Soju mixed with stale tobacco. He didn’t ever try anything though since his son - a lanky guy, with short black hair, wide brown eyes, and a leering grin - was so very interested in you. Being young, naive and desperate, you really thought the son loved you and cared for your well being.

After a year and a half of being trapped under his thumb, you finally found a job at a nicer Konbini that a kind, older woman ran and immediately applied for your apartment. It was a two day turnaround from finding the job to packing up your stuff in secret and making a silent escape.

You had never told anyone about it before, so when you heard pounding on the door while lidding your pot to simmer, you honestly don’t know what to do or who to turn to. At first, you thought of hiding, but the son seemed to know you were already there as the pounding became more insistent, accompanied with shouts of, “Y/N! I know you’re in there! Open up! Now!”

Crossing the tiny room, against your better judgment, you shakily unlocked the door and swung it wide open. Tensing as the doorknob clicked against the wall, fully convinced that you were about to be attacked and thrown around your apartment like a ragdoll.

Unbeknownst to you though, your two toned neighbor had been standing on the other side of his door from the moment the pounding started - locked in an internal debate of whether it was his place to get involved or not. On the one hand he fully realized that he doesn’t actually know you and this may be something that you might not want anyone to get involved with. On the other hand, you were the kindest person he’d ever met and you’ve become a source of comfort for him. Even without the meals, your caring and welcoming demeanor was more than enough to spur his protective nature. Sakura stood by the entrance of his apartment poised like a bengal tiger - every muscle in his body was strung taut as he pressed his ear to the door, listening for what you would do.

The debate was decided the moment he heard the lock clicking and your door slowly swinging open as he scrambled to open his and threw himself into the hallway. The second his bicolored eyes landed on the lanky, raven haired man moving menacingly towards your ajar door, he launched himself forward without a moment’s hesitation. Just as the son was reaching through the doorway to grab you by the throat, a black and white blur collided with him from the left, knocking him to the other end of the hall.

Stunned, you remained there in the empty doorway blinking rapidly at the far off rooftop with a darkening night sky hanging above it across the way from your apartment building. Jolting yourself into action as you cautiously grabbed the door jam and leaned your head out into the corridor in the direction the blur flew.

The scene laid out before you was Sakura standing over the son with his fist gripping the son's collar fiercely. For a split second, you were struck with the image of one of those nature documentaries you watched as a kid. Your neighbor looked just like a black and white jungle cat standing over its prey. There was a predatory shine in his eyes as he growled, “I don’t know who you are, or what you’re trying to do, but if I ever see you anywhere near Y/N again I’ll make sure you’re not able to see.”

The second Sakura released the son’s collar, he hit the floor while scrambling to his feet before half running-half throwing himself down the stairs towards the paved sidewalk. When Sakura turned to face you all of the predatory likeness had returned to that of a housecat as he asked in a low tone, “Are you good” with a notch in his brow. It was apparent from his expression that he wanted to inquire more, but wouldn’t let himself. Humming quietly with a nod in response, and with that he started walking back towards his apartment door. The scent of peppered rose, sweet jasmine and spiced chocolate that he left in his wake spurred you to take a slight step after him as the gears in your head spun to think of something to say.

“Wa-wait,” you blurted out quickly, causing him to stop and look back at you in surprise. “D-do you wanna eat dinner together?” You posed timidly, immediately Sakura turned a deep red as he sputtered on his words.

“It should be done soon, and then I can just pack it up and send it with you after we’re done eating…” you offered hopefully, but when Sakura hesitated and looked between his door and then back to yours. A long beat of silence passed as you grappled to name that place he reminded you of, the one he was taking with him, the one you could only describe as safe.

“Please?” Whispering pleadingly with your hands clasped in front of you, and for just a moment you felt like you were beckoning a feral cat to you with the promise of food.

As you stared at him, expression downright imploring as that distracting aroma enveloped his senses again - leather, creamy cognac and spicy rose water that gave the dimly lit barn a darker feel, later into the evening. The melodic singing turned to gentle humming as the tealight burned low, and the moon hung above the flowered meadow. Suddenly, his face became so red that you actually considered calling for medical assistance, but then he scowled while averting his gaze and nodded before moving towards your apartment.

At first the dinner was incredibly awkward, neither of you really spoke, and Sakura was obviously avoiding quizzing you about what had just happened. Eventually, you took it upon yourself to let him know who that was and your relationship to him. Sakura listened intently, but by the look on his face he wanted to know more, so you told him he can ask anything he wanted - you would let him know if you didn’t want to answer.

So, he did. He implored you to tell him everything, and I mean everything, about yourself. From growing up in the rundown apartment with your mom and dad who were barely ever there. Which meant everything was scarce - food, clothes, love. You told him about your siblings, and the fact that they got the hell out of dodge the moment they turned 18, leaving you alone with your parents at the ripe age of 14. Not that it was a huge loss, when people grow up in a broken home together sometimes they don’t develop familial bonds, but it did mean you were alone.

That’s around the time that your parent’s marriage really started to go downhill, because your dad lost his job shortly thereafter and started drinking heavily. Home life got tense to say the least, so even though you were young, you decided to try to go it alone. When you got to the konbini run by the dad and son, you told them that you were 14, so the dad said he’d pay you under the table but if anyone asked, then you’re 16. You explained bits and pieces of your relationship with the son after that, not wanting to divulge just how badly they treated you, but

Sakura seemed to get the gist. By the end of the night, he knew your whole life story and he was kind enough to share a little bit of his.

After that, you two ate dinner together in your apartment every night and became kind of friends, though neither of you admitted it outright. Until Sakura suggested you visit the Furin neighborhood.

When you did, you saw him out on patrol with his classmates and went over to say hello. A curious blonde boy inquired about who you were and how you knew Sakura, and you thought about it for a moment before glancing at Sakura - the tips of his ears burning furiously - for some assistance.

“Friends.” He basically snapped out. “We’re friends,” he repeated himself before he continued walking down the street. The blonde boy, who you eventually learned to be Nirei Akihiko, stared between you and Sakura with mounting intrigue. The auburn boy with the eye patch, who you learned to be Suo Hayato, chuckled knowingly to himself before offering for the trio to show you around the neighborhood.

Sakura relaxed throughout the tour to a point where he was able to make his own comments and tell you the things he liked about Furin. Visiting the neighborhood, and especially Pothos, became a regular thing for you after that since you enjoyed the area and people so much.

Enough so, that when the Konbini you worked at was broken into and you ended up seeing a building for lease on the main street in Furin, you asked the owner if she would consider moving the business. She said it would be a lot of work and she’s just too old for that, and honestly with how business was dwindling she was thinking of closing the Konbini altogether.

With the fear of job insecurity, you were rather mute at dinner that night which worried your bi-colored friend. After some prying, you finally let him know what was going on. He was quiet about it, but eventually told you that he thought it would probably work out, so don’t worry yourself too much about it. You threw him a kind smile and thanked him before changing the subject - still feeling unsure of how it would work out. Regardless, throughout the rest of dinner, the sweet, vanilla-jasmine, and musky oakmoss that filled your apartment whenever he was over lulled you into a sense of security.

Unbeknownst to you, Sakura was so sure because he went to class the next day and explained the situation to them, even asking if they would be willing to help with the move if the older woman changed her mind. They of course agreed enthusiastically. After school, Sakura and his seconds went to visit the Konbini owner - Sakura instructed Suo to speak with her since that’s more his skill set - and offered her their help if she changes her mind.

A week later the new location opened on the main street in Furin. The owner was thrilled to move to a nicer neighborhood as well, now living in the apartment above the new Konbini, with the added protection of Bofurin. You were overjoyed to keep your job and to be able to go to the Furin neighborhood daily.

It wasn’t long before you were good friends with Kotoha and Tsubaki, as well. Sakura didn’t show how happy he was outwardly, but truly he was ecstatic because now the two of you walk to Furin and back home together, and he no longer spends all day with the worry of your ex showing up without him there to protect you. Most nights he slept better too, though that may only be because his dreams swirled in your redolence of decadent tarred honey and musky florals faithfully built that barn night after night. And every night his slumber was swaddled in comforting warmth, and the sound humming over the swaying flowers outside the barn door.

The relationship between you and Sakura didn’t progress beyond ‘friends’ for quite some time, much to the annoyance of many around Furin. It seemed so obvious to everyone, but the two of you, that the simpering looks, words and banter shared between you aren't friend-like. Though, it all became clear when some guy who had been frequenting the Konbini was waiting for you outside after closing up one night. Sakura was usually there waiting too, but he was held up that day.

“Hey, Y/N!” Some guy a little taller than your neighbor, with shaggy blonde hair called with a wave as he walked towards you. Jumping slightly at the sound of your name as you focused on his figure illuminated under the streetlight, but then you recognized him as a regular from the Konbini. Still, you were confused how he knew your name since you weren’t required to wear a name tag, and you didn't go out of your way to tell it to customers. Your eyes darted around as you searched for Sakura.

“How are you?” Soliciting in a pointed tone while he closed the distance to stand directly in front of you, his muddied-sienna irises leered down at you through his bangs.

“Go-good… How are you?” Responding timidly as your eyes continued to search for the familiar two toned mane of your protective friend. Raw survival instinct spurred your heart to pound in your ears while your feet froze in place.

“I’m good! I was wondering if I could take you to dinner?” He inquired with a faux saccharine smile that made the hair on the back of your neck stand up as he leaned in closer. The scent of cigarettes and cheap, sandalwood cologne wafted under your nose - turning your stomach.

“N-no thank you - I actually was heading home to cook for me and my neighbor…” you murmured faintly, trailing off as the corners of his mouth dropped completely. Clenching the hem of your jacket in your fists to hide your shaky hands as you peered around for Sakura more urgently.

“He can’t cook for himself?” Cross-questioning gruffly as he cocked his head with a judgmental arch of his brow, then all at once a malicious smirk - more so than a smile - returned to his face. “Why not let a real man take you out? You don’t have to mommy me y’know?” He offered in what may have been an attempt at a seductive tone, but it just made your skin crawl while your bottom lip quivered pathetically.

“I-I like cooking for us…” mumbling quietly as you feebly projected a defensive air by squaring your shoulders. Desperately, you craned your neck in one direction from the other - looking for your safe person.

“Well, I could show you some other things you might like,” he subtly threatened in a sing-songy voice, accentuated by a sick grin. A predatory glint gleamed in his eye as he took a menacing step towards you.

“Sa-Sakura!” Crying out as your feet finally unglued from the ground, allowing you to take a step back. Desperately you hoped that the guy would back off, but his grin only widened as he reached out to grab you.

“Oi! Don’t touch her!” A familiar voice echoed from down the street, accompanied by the sound of pounding feet. You whipped your head to the left to see Sakura sprinting towards your attacker with all the fierceness of a wild animal. Your body sagged against the brick wall in relief as tears welled up along your lash line.

“I wasn’t doing anything - no idea she had a boyfriend,” immediately the man muttered and threw both his hands up in the air, but Sakura wasn't listening as his fist connected with the guy's nose - knocking him to the ground. Your attacker’s face was covered in blood and his nose was stuck at an odd angle, but he barely noticed as he scrambled to his feet and sprinted away.

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t here when you got out, are you okay?” Sakura whirled around, voice dripping in concern, as he looked you over head to toe for any injuries. His face held all the likeness of a housecat worriedly trying to comfort its owner. A bi-colored pair of slate and amber eyes brimmed with fear, and his face was set with worry. In all the close calls that’ve happened around Furin, he’s never worn this expression in front of you before - certainly not towards you either.

“I’m okay,” you assured him with a small nod as you dried salty tears on your sleeve, while he heaved a relieved sigh. “Thank you for saving me, again,” murmuring as you threw a small, grateful smile his way to which he immediately blushed bright red. The walk home was almost silent - both of you glanced at one another until your eyes met and then swiftly looked at the sky or ground.

Awkwardness had settled over your apartment as you prepared the meal. A tense silence ensued throughout prepping the veggies all the way to when the pot began to boil, until Sakura piped up from where he sat on your living room floor.

“Do we seem like a couple?” He blurted out suddenly, and for once you were the one red in the face and sputtering as you clutched the counter to ground yourself.

Blinking rapidly as the words he just uttered processed in his own ears, and then Sakura ended up having a delayed reaction to a much more severe degree than yours. Once you both regained some composure, the two of you settled on the living room floor, not looking at each other, while you tried to discuss your “relationship status”.

“When I tell people that I eat dinner with you every night they think you’re my girlfriend,” he muttered, finally breaking the awkward silence. Dropping your shoulders as you released a pent up sigh, and then glanced over at his beet red side profile.

“Me too,” you sighed soberly. “They always think you’re my boyfriend, or that I want you to be,” you admitted awkwardly, and Sakura immediately nodded in understanding. Though he was still staring at the wall.

“D-do you?” Sakura raised the question cautiously, still not turning around, and fidgeting nervously with his pant leg. A long, pregnant pause passed before you answered.

“We-well, you know my history with dating…” you started softly. “So, I don’t really know… I’ve never had a good experience so I don't know what that would be like or if I want it.” Answering honestly as you dared to glance at Sakura, who was surprisingly looking right at you and not turning away.

“I feel the same way,” he admitted in a defeated voice. “I have no experience, so how would I know if that’s something I want?” Posing rhetorically as a notch formed in his brow. After a moment of thought you breathed in deeply, earning his undivided attention.

“Well, if everyone thinks we’re a couple, or want to be, because of this,” you gestured to the dinner on the table, “or because of how we are with each other, then I guess… I do want to date you…” you admitted, voice inflecting upwards at the end as you shrank away from his intense stare.

Before he could snap, you swiftly added, “I just mean that I like this, and hanging out with you, so if that’s what dating is then I’m okay with that.” You explained quickly as Sakura caught his breath. After a while he nodded in agreement.

“I-I like it too,” he said in a sotto voice as he turned to face you fully, shoulders relaxing slightly. “So, I guess, if this is dating… then I’d be okay with it too.” Sakura repeated your words as a confirmation with a firm nod of his head.

That was how you and Sakura “asked each other out”, though not much changed in your relationship. The biggest difference for Sakura is that the amount of rage he felt towards that guy outside the Konbini - not just for being aggressive with you, but for propositioning you - was now justified, he felt at least.

Though not much has changed in how you treat one another, the way the two of you felt about one another certainly had. For one, Sakura has become far more open with you about a lot of his anxieties around being in a new place where he’s actually accepted. Which led him to divulging what it was like in his hometown. It tore at your heart to hear how unfairly he was treated, but you were honored that he finally felt comfortable enough to talk to you about it.

For you, the biggest change has been that ever since Sakura has officially been deemed ‘yours’ it’s hard not to see him in a different light. Often you found yourself staring at his side profile when he wasn’t paying attention - the way the two toned locks would blend and frame his face, or the way his jaw curved sharply accentuated by the rare times he would smile. It took your breath away and made your heart stutter every time you caught a glimpse.

Since the two of you spent so much time together, it felt like Sakura’s scent of spiced plum and smoked, balsamic-leather consistently enveloped you in a sense of comforting warmth. Sometimes, when he’d walk you home and his amber eye would meet yours in each other’s peripheral, it glowed in the streetlight and sparked a fluttering in your belly. You would shyly avert your gaze every time, without fail, so you’ve never seen the deep red blooming over Sakura’s shocked expression - sure that he’d been caught appreciatively studying your features as well.

Most noticeably was when the two of you were walking around Furin and you saw other couples strolling around - hand in hand. It always made you peer down at Sakura’s hand, usually tucked in his pocket, as you wondered what it would feel like. The first time you had the thought, it was a week into your relationship and you kept telling yourself to just talk to him about it, or maybe just reach out and grab his hand. But now, months into the relationship, it seemed like the scariest thing in the world.

So, finally, about 3 months after officially becoming Sakura’s girlfriend, the two of you were just hanging out at his place. Since his class revamped his apartment he’d been wanting to hang out there more, and you’ve been more than happy to oblige. Both of you were sitting at his coffee table enjoying a cup together before dinner was ready.

Over the past several weeks, you’ve been psyching yourself up to get over this ridiculous fear and just touch your boyfriend. Though it seemed like every time you would try, he’d pin you with those bicolored eyes and you’d freeze in place before laughing off your attempt, or refocusing on something else. So today, you decided that you would just go for it while not looking him in the eye.

Still, it almost became too much when you inhaled, immediately flooding your senses with the piney chocolate, plum-jasmine, and wood musk clinging to him. Silently and oh so slowly, you reached out toward his hand resting on top of his knee, and then gently laid your palm on the back before wrapping your fingers around it. His hand radiated heat, and twitched slightly under your touch.

At first, Sakura jumped and almost yanked back, but then he noticed that your fingers were trembling around his hand. Pausing, he looked at you closer to see that you were sporting a more vibrant crimson tint than he was. Feeling a little less alone in his awkwardness, he somewhat relaxed before turning his hand over and then opened it slightly so he could hold yours too. Sitting up in surprise, tightening your grip slightly, but you wouldn’t look at him directly yet.

”Sa-Sakura?” You piped up timidly, and he jumped again but kept hold of your hand as he leaned closer to hear you, instantly he was hit with that distinctly exotic tea aroma - spiced, milky with hints of rose water. “Um, I hope it’s okay, but I’d like to try and hold your hand sometimes… If that doesn’t bother you?” Whispering softly without looking at him directly, and his blush deepened even more as he suppressed the knee-jerk reaction to snap at you. Though he couldn’t control the way he’s started hyperventilating at the idea of doing this more.

”Why would that bother me?” He demanded through gritted teeth, but his flushed face told you that he was just as nervous as you. Taking a deep breath, you readied an explanation.

”Be-because… I think physical affection, well, affection in general, makes you uncomfortable, and I can relate to that on the physical affection piece.” Speaking demurely, your fingers were still trembling, so Sakura willed his breathing to even out so he could listen to you properly.

“I-It makes me uncomfortable sometimes too, but I-I don’t want it to?” You said as if it were a question with an upwards inflection at the end. “I wa-want to touch you, and maybe one day kiss you… if that’s okay?” Murmuring timidly as you finally met his gaze with your terrified one. Sakura was so red he was basically a traffic light, but he was also incredibly still as if he was trying his best not to spook you. For a long, long moment the two of you just stared at each other before Sakura finally parted his lips to speak.

”You want to kiss me?” He whispered in utter shock, almost incredulous, but you could tell from the look in his eyes that he was just feeling vulnerable. Slowly you nodded, not breaking eye contact with his two toned gaze.

”Yes… but I’m just afraid, I guess. I was never really shown affection like that growing up, or in my past relationship. Honestly, I think what I was shown could be categorized as physical animosity…” you mused sadly. “So, I don’t know how to and I’m afraid I’ll do it wrong, or mess this up…” you whispered, voice cracking near the end as you trailed off and averted your gaze to the floor.

Another pregnant pause passed before Sakura leaned forward, breathing in your creamy gourmand honey dripping onto a musky floral-cognac essence underneath as he bumped your forehead with his. Looking up at him, brows raised in surprise, just before he leaned in to kiss you.

On instinct, your hand that wasn’t holding his reared back to slap him, but with his cat-like reflexes he caught you with ease. The two of you were caught in a staring contest, both shocked, until you sheepishly breathed out, “Sorry reflex…”

Sakura just gave you a small smile with a sad, knowing glint in his eye. His hair shone under the overhead light giving him an aura much like the moon, while the piney jasmine and earthy camphor that clung to his skin shrouded you in comfort as your shoulders relaxed slightly.

”I know,” he whispered gently as he leaned in, much slower this time, before capturing your lips with his. It wasn’t a long kiss, and felt a little awkward, but you enjoyed how his lips felt against yours and how, being so close to him, enveloped you in his scent. It wasn’t a movie screen first kiss but it felt safe; and left flavors of decadent, tarred honey hinted with creamy fruit, swirled into a smoky balsamic cocoa that lingered on both of your lips.

When you parted from the kiss, both of you were sporting a deep ruddiness over your cheeks and could barely look each other in the eye for several minutes. After the silence became too much, you finally asked Sakura if he liked it. He looked you dead in the eye, red in the face with a deep furrow in his brow, as he curtly said, “Yes.”

The severity of his expression made you burst into giggles - finally dissipating your tension, but when you met your boyfriend's gaze again, he was staring at you with nervous desperation. Cocking your head in question until he lowered his head slightly to look up at you through thick lashes, face burning still, and quietly muttered, “What about you?”

“I liked it a lot,” you confessed, beaming at him brightly with an excited gleam in your eyes, despite the fine dusting of pink still clinging to your cheeks. Sakura was stunned into silence at your open confession, but his nerves finally calmed a bit. After the two of you recovered from this development in your relationship, you both looked down to see you’ve been holding hands this whole time. Sakura turned beet red again, but didn't let go until it was time to say good night.

Honestly, after this, your relationship takes a long time to progress beyond hand holding and a private peck here, and there - you two just go at a slower pace, but that’s okay!

Sakura does immediately start holding your hand in public after that night, though he is very defensive about it at first - especially when his friends tease him. Regardless of his embarrassment or the ribbing, Sakura will faithfully keep holding your hand. Even when the teasing becomes a bit too much and he turns on his heel to walk away - you better believe he’s dragging you right along with him.

As for the private pecks, the two of you don’t kiss again for a couple of weeks. It only started becoming a regular thing when Sakura had to rush out the door one morning to help settle a Furin issue, and you assured him he could go on ahead and that you would see him later.

As he was saying goodbye he leaned in and pecked your lips quickly before rushing off. It took him half the day to realize what he did, and he was only able to piece it together after Suo and Nirei asked him why he kept making a weird face throughout the day. He mentioned that he tasted something sweet as he mulled the spiced-honey with a creamy hint of fruit over his tongue. When they asked him if he ate or drank something different that day, Sakura looked deep in thought before responding.

“I don’t think so…” his voice trailed off just before it dawned on him that he kissed you before running out the door this morning. He was a reddened mess for the rest of the day - he even apologized for it when you saw him later on. But you just shrugged and told him you liked it - which made him hide his face he was blushing so violently - but he took that as the okay to start giving you goodbye kisses at home.

At around the 6 month mark in your relationship is when the two of you cuddle for the first time. Not intentionally, you invited Sakura over to watch a movie and fell asleep on his shoulder near the beginning. Your neck was in an awkward position, so he felt like he needed to reposition you. Which is how you ended up tucked into his side, his arm around your shoulders and your head laid on his chest. Hints of slightly musky cognac, creamy honey and rich, spiced almonds swirled together to invade his senses with each soft breath that puffed past your lips and fanned against his chest.

He almost glowed in the dark from the scarlet tint sweeping over his face. Actually, he intended to just lay you down on the couch to sleep, but maneuvering a sleeping person was much more difficult than he realized. When you woke to the aroma of ripened fruit, roasted coffee and woody jasmine, you discovered that Sakura had lulled off to sleep with his arms loosely around you.

Remorsefully, you woke him up, but then you proposed that he spend the night. He hesitated at first, but when you added that you just wanted to sleep, maybe cuddle, he cautiously agreed. Sakura spooned you through the night, which ended up becoming a semi-regular thing in your relationship. Though Sakura might actually blush to death if anyone ever found out.

It was certainly strange and new to both of you, but good nonetheless. When you were in his arms, Sakura felt like that tightrope was plucked right out of existence, and all that was left was a breathtaking meadow of flowers that smelled just like you. Whenever you were enveloped in Sakura’s embrace, you felt warm, protected, safe… and finally, after so many months of wondering, you were able to place what his scent was reminiscent of.

It’s a place you’ve never really known, but still desperately dreamed of since you were a little girl. Through those loud, screaming nights where no one was allowed to sleep; through those never ending shifts in the dank, dusty konbini; through all those times you were alone. The one thing you were always searching for, even if you didn’t realize it at the time, was home.

Sakura was your home. It would take him years to vocalize it, but eventually Sakura pieced together that the warm barn, floral meadow, and melodic singing in his dreams all represented that place for him as well. Not until many, many years later - when you two had been married for some time, and were expecting your first child did he finally say it out loud. That you were his home too.

Master List (I have no rights to these characters, the works they come from, or the art/screenshots/manga panels used in this post. Screenshots taken from pinterest, so if you know the creator please lmk! Divider is from @sweetmelodygraphics)

Tag List (lmk if you want to be added): @nymphsdomain

#wind breaker x reader #pernesophe #sp's headspace #wind breaker boys x touch starved reader #everybody loves sakura haruka

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jiraisupportgroup · 2 months ago

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˗ˋˏ ♡ Jirai Kei Survey Results ♡ ˎˊ˗

(NOTE!! I re-opened it because I saw some people saying they were sad they didn’t respond!! It’s open again! You can take it here)

Hi hi!!! First of all, I'm so sorry that this took me like an entire month to make, and second of all thank you to everyone who participated in the survey I posted a while ago! It got 89 total responses which is awesome!! So many more than I was expecting, you guys are awesome ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

I've got a spreadsheet of all the answers given in October 2024 here if you want to go view them for yourself ^-^ (I have redacted pronouns and location for privacy sake)

I also went through and read everyone's answers and pulled some of the main points / focuses people had to make into little graphics for simplification and comparison's sake (This is a huge part of why it took so long because I didn't want to misrepresent anyone's points so I went person by person and considered all of their answers and overall vibe before pulling the main points just to make sure I wasn't accidentally changing or misunderstanding their points).

Please keep in mind: 89 people is NOT a large enough sample size to extrapolate this to the entirety of the Jirai Kei community - this is really just an exploration of the people who answered the survey - it does not represent the feelings of the community as a whole. This survey is derived from the western community as the survey is in English and was posted in primarily English-speaking areas.

Also just as a note I messed up when making the selections for the ages and put 18-21 and then 21-25 so people of the age of 21 could have picked either - this isn't ideal but since I messed it up in the original choice options I'm keeping it listed as that because I think changing 21-25 to 22-25 would be disingenuous.

I'm going to go question by question and kind of break it down if you're interested! I'm also going to try and remain mostly neutral and not really put my personal opinions in here. My main goal is to kind of break down what was said in the survey.

Demographics:

It's a pretty good mix of people. Also, hi!!! So many of you are from so far away!!!! That was really exciting to see. To be honest, it was super cool to see how this community encompasses people from all over the world!!! (Also, as a note here, there was one person who answered the survey who was over 40. I included their answers in the 26-30 range just for simplicity sake.)

I also did not make a graphic for the pronouns: primarily she / her, followed by they / them or any / all, followed by he / him or he / they pronouns just in case you were curious. I also took the pronouns out of the original answers document since I know quite a few people use neo-pronouns which are quite unique and I didn't want anyone to see those and connect that person to their answers, I wanted it to remain as anonymous as possible. I redacted the locations for the same reason.

I did not make a graphic for the languages either but those are included in the original answers spreadsheet that I have linked above. Many people speak Japanese, Russian, German, Spanish, and French. Those were the main answers besides English.

I don't have too much to say about the social medias to be honest. Discord, Youtube, and Twitch are likely under-represented in this since they were write-ins and not part of the general selection.

How did you first hear about Jirai Kei?

I don't have a graphic for this one either. It looks like most people learned about it because they already had an interest in j-fashion. A decent number of people mentioned Needy Streamer Overload. Lots of people came from Pinterest, Instagram, TikTok, and Tumblr. Many people also said they were into Menhera and came from there.

How would you describe Jirai Kei to someone who hasn't heard of it before?

Again, no graphic for this one - highly reccommend to go read some of the answers on the linked sheet above. It was pretty split between people talking about the aesthetics & fashion vs people talking about the mental health community. A lot of people mentioned that if they were talking to someone they didn't know very well or who didn't have any knowledge of j-fashion they would say it's a style and move on, while if they were talking to a friend or someone who did know a little more about j-fashion they would talk more about the mental health aspects and history of the subculture.

A few quotes (I'm trying to get a good mixture of opinions in here, please note these are mostly smaller parts of larger answers - this goes for all the quotes added in this post): ♡ "Usually it's easier for me to just send the wikipedia link to people though honestly" ♡ "a subculture of mostly young women with mental illness who share certain interests in jfashion etc..." ♡ "...a lot of ppl often tell me it just sounds like the jp version of emo." ♡ "A subculture for mentally ill people who can’t, won’t, or don’t want to recover" ♡ "depending on my knowledge on their opinions on mental health, i'd either go with a basic explanation of the fashion if they dont seem like the type to be sympathetic of ppl with mental health issues, but if they seem like the sympathetic type, i'd go more into detail of the origins and lifestyle associated with the subculture." ♡ "Being cute despite your mental illness! Also a bit of consumerism and idol worship..." ♡ "It's mainly a stereotype" ♡ "I would recommend watching cybr.grls video on jirai kei " ♡ "It’s an alternative japanese fashion style with frilly, lacey, and dark garments! The main colors it will be are very muted pinks, blacks, grays, whites, or even reds or purples (albeit rare)" ♡ "Jirai Kei is the term used to describe the fashion style related to Jirais / Landmines , which was a derogatory term used to describe mentally ill girls who had an “explosive” personality , wearing cute clothing to distract / hide men from their personality. It usually consists of frills , ribbons and lace , blouses and skirts , with a colour palette of black and muted colour varients like pink and blue , and white. "

To your understanding where does Jirai Kei come from? What's it's history?

Again, no graphic for this one (T-T these are just too complex for me to comfortably break down into bite-size pieces). Most people talked about the Toyoko kids, a bit less talked about host / hostess clubs, and quite a few vague nods to Kabukicho in general. About a fifth of the people just talked about overall mental health in Japan. Interesting mixture of answers - different people seem to latch on to different parts of the origins, which is likely based on what they relate with the most. I was surprised that only a few people mentioned the "Jirai Kei" makeup trend of 2019/2020 - I honestly thought that would be talked about a little bit more ngl. Interesting read for sure.

A few quotes: ♡ "jirai kei became seen as clothes worn by dangerous or unstable women, hence the trend " ♡ "the history between jirai kei && the toyoko kids sometimes get mixed together because of their resemblances , but it's important to note the two are different . jirai kei define an instable person who will explode at some point like a bomb , but you don't know when ( landmine ) . initially , it was mostly used to refer to girls who threaten their boyfriend to kill him or themselves if the boy left them . since jirais are disordered or mentally ill , they often engage in unhealthy behaviours . the toyoko kids on the other hand are teens who ran away from home to live in the streets instead . most of them suffered from abuse && causally have disorders or illnesses . this is where the two subcultures came together to form one : the jirai kei we know now..." ♡ " The clothing style that is most typically seen on social media stems from the fact that these clothes where cute but cheap to come by. " ♡ "Jirai kei as a term originated from misogynistic men calling mentally ill women “explosive.” The style came from poor (unfortunately, often sex workers) youth in Japan. It how we’ve became popularized and somewhat mainstream there after a while." ♡ "then in 2020 people started dressing up in stereotypical "toyoko kid/jirai woman style" to make fun of them before brands saw how popular this trend became and decided to start selling clothes based off this idea. the original style is known as dark girly kei which uses elements from both dark girly and girly kei the latter being a style that was popular with 2010s gyaru and evolved to incorporate french girly and dark girly motifs making it what it is today. other styles such as subcul and suna kei are also extremely popular with jirai to the point of being synonymous with the style." ♡ "...Thus, the fashion style was associate with "Jirai Onna" and became "Jirai Kei". The fashion style extended beyond Kabukicho and many girls and women wear the style in Japan due to the kawaii look and the popularity of the style within many fashion brands. Another demographic that has popularised Jirai Kei is idol fangirls who wore girly kei and jirai kei fashion. The style was also given the term "ryousangata" meaning "mass produced" an insult basically calling the girls who wear the style "basic"."

What do you think differentiates Jirai Kei from other subcultures?

Okay since this is the first type of this graphic we're seeing let me explain what you're looking at. I took key points or words and quantified how many people mentioned it as a larger part of their explanation. There were a LOT of other things mentioned these were just the ones that came up repeatedly.

Many people were confused by this question and said there are too many differences to even describe, which is completely fair. There were two main types of answers to this question. The first is that fashion is what makes it different because it's a fashion-based subculture or if not fashion-based, fashion is a big part of it. The other is that it's a community based around mental health primarily unlike other subcultures which are based on fashion or music. A lot of people who mentioned this went on to say that the thing that differentiates it from Menhera specifically (because menhera is also based in mental and physical health) was the idea that Menhera is very recovery, resource, and awareness focused, while Jirai Kei isn't focused on those things at all and is more so just people looking for a sense of community.

A few quotes: ‪♡ "menhera is art and advocacy focused, jirai is community focused. menhera also is more recovery focused often, whereas jirai places no emphasis on that at all" ‪♡ "Dawg idk how to tell you this… there’s too many examples and they’re all so different" ♡ "For starters, its background story, the clothing doesn't look the same either.... Jirai culture is not really focused on getting better mentally, much on the contrary... being mentally ill is praised, spending an insane amount of money on clothes you don't exactly need is praised...." ‪♡ "I’ve seen jp jirais say that jirai kei is whatever a jirai girl chooses to wear, it can literally be anything. However, at the moment it visually is a combination of menhera and dark girly kei. Because it’s new though, it’s already having subsets form and change that." ♡ "i think jirai is unique in its rejection of the “just get better” culture a lot of places have. Most people think of inability or unwillingness to improve a moral failing. " ‪♡ "Jirai Kei has a distinct history and recognisable style" ♡ "menhera is about finding a community that wishes to accept you and want to encourage you to get better jirai kei is not about wanting to get better thats a very important distinction" ♡ " - idk how to explain??? It’s like asking what differenciates gyaru and goth lol" ♡ "the subcul is definitely viewed in an extremely negative way compared to other subculs, even menhera. I also think that other subculs like Emo, Anime, and Idol culture revolve a lot around the fashion aspect. While jirai is best known for the Dark Girly fashion, i think that jirai in itself, as mentioned before, is more about the lifestyle that we life, our mental health, and the struggles we go through either on purpose or not" ‪♡ "for many i'd say the fashion is what differenciates them. while they can overlap with common traits under the other subcultures, it's still quite different." ♡ "i do believe that the associated fashions (again, not just dark girly, but also tenshi kaiwai, subcul, etc.) are necessary to set a landmine apart from these cultures. the fashions is a huge part of the subculture and sets it apart from these other mental-health based subcultures. that is why i personally believe that a landmine must at least wear the associated fashions OCCASIONALLY to be considered part of the subculture."

What kind of Jirai Kei content do you engage with the most?

This one again, no graphic. Top answer was outfit / coord posts (82%), second most common was vent posts (67.4%), third was dark humour (58.2%)

Are you interested in the fashions associated with Jirai Kei? Which ones?

Again, not too much to say overall about this.

One thing to note is that some of these answers could technically be lumped in with other ones, like "all of them" could be counted towards Dark Girly Kei, Girly Kei, Tenshi Kaiwai, etc but I kept it separate. Same with "Jirai IS the fashion" which could be lumped into Dark Girly Kei but again I kept it separate unless they mentioned it in their answer.

The one that isn't like that is "No Interest" because if someone was of the mind that the fashion is called Jirai Kei and said they weren't interested in the other fashions they're in the "Jirai IS the fashion" count, while the people in the "No Interest" count were of the idea that the name of the fashion is not Jirai Kei and is rather Dark Girly Kei so they have their own count.

What role do you think the asssociated fashions play in Jirai Kei? Do you need to wear them to be considered "Jirai" or part of the community?

Again, this has been vastly simplified but I tried really hard not to misunderstand or misrepresent anyone's points. The categories names are a bit strange so let me explain what I mean by them:

‪♡ "No, it's a lifestyle" - This person believes that you do not have to wear the associated fashions to be part of the Jirai Kei community because it is first and foremost a subculture based around mental health and finding people who relate to you that you can talk to about these things. They also tend to believe "Jirai Kei" is the not proper name for the fashion, and that to be part of the Jirai Kei community you must be either mentally ill or at least open and understanding about mental illness. ‪♡ "No, it's both a lifestyle and a fashion" - This person believes that you do not have to wear the associated fashions to be part of the Jirai Kei community. They tend to believe that Jirai Kei is both a lifestyle and a fashion, and you can participate in either the overarching mental health community based around Jirai Kei or the fashion side of things and be accepted either way. This kind of answer tended to imply that both the people looking for a mental health-related safe space and people who just like the fashion are welcome. ‪♡ "Yes, it's both a lifestyle and a fashion" - This person believes you do have to wear the associated fashions to be part of the Jirai Kei community. They tend to believe that Jirai Kei is the proper title for both the mental health subculture and the overarching fashion and you have to participate in both to be considered part of the Jirai Kei community. ‪♡ "Yes, it's a fashion" - This person believes Jirai Kei is a fashion style, if you wear it, you are welcome in the Jirai Kei community.

A few quotes: ‪♡ "the fashion has almost taken over the community, and overshadows its origins." ‪♡ "I don‘t think the Fashion is the central aspect, but it brings people in. It’s historically speaking a part of Jirai Kei, but not the most inportant thing. You can be Jirai and not dress like it." ‪♡ "Yes to be considered Jirai one should wear the clothing of the subculture they are trying to claim. I don’t think you have to branch out into any jirai substyles though if it’s not your vibe." ‪♡ "No if you're a lifestyle jirai, yes if you're a fashion jirai. If you're a lifestyle jirai I think just wanting to be jirai is enough" ‪♡ "i definitely do think that people who dont wear the fashion can be considered jirai, as thats how the word originally got its meaning, though nowadays its definitely more recognized as a fashion style." ‪♡ "It's just a part of the stereotype because a lot of us happen to wear it not because we need to." ‪♡ "it’s such an enormous part of the subculture that leaving out the fashion aspect makes your “landmineness” indistinguishable from a thousand other subcultures." ‪♡ "i think the fashion gave way to helping people who are mentally unwell or don’t feel good find and outlet to feel better, wether it be makeup, or the clothes for me it makes me feel pretty and distracts from the fact i’m depressed. i think just wearing “jirai” as a fashion or style doesn’t necessarily mean you are unwell though, you can participate and be okay in the head lmao, and ofc be in the community. i think the problem lies within the title of jirai. " ‪♡ "i don't think you necessarily NEED to wear them to be jirai, but i think that an interest in them is pretty important because the fashion and aesthetics are closely intertwined with the subculture " ‪♡ "I actually think the biggest thing to a Jirai look is Jirai makeup. I think as long as you have that, then you are Jirai enough. " ‪♡ "While I don't think you have to wear the fashion to be jirai, the fashion does play a big part in the subculture and people need to acknowledge that. " ‪♡ "to an extent, yes you do, but it's more important just to have an interest in them. nobody needs to wear them 24/7 and if you can't afford clothes then it is what it is, but you can't really call yourself jirai if you have no interest in one of the main aspects of the subculture (the aesthetics)" ‪♡ "nah, as long as u wear alternative fashion and know ur shit and participate in the culture ur fine."

Can non-Japanese people be "Jirai"? Why or why not?

Most people said yes (which is kind of to be expected since this is in English and most of the people who answered are not Japanese so I will note this is biased), but a lot of people brought up different points.

Some of the "yes" pool are people who believe Jirai Kei is just a fashion and brought that up as their point. Some of the "yes" pool are people who are more into the mental health side of things and talked about how people in different countries still experience mental struggles and that's something everyone can relate to in their own way.

The "Yes but it's different" pool is mostly comprised of people talking about the mental health aspects of the community and mentioning that although foreigners can be part of the Jirai Kei community, it is important to understand that the things that many Japanese "Jirai"s go through are things that we will not experience due to the differences in our mental health care resources / infrastructure and the infrastructure of the Japanese sex-work industry. Essentially, we can go through really similar things but the overall cultures make it quite different.

Some Quotes: ‪♡ "yes, especially when a trend originally comes from sex work in which non-japanese people living in japan are overrepresented." ‪♡ "Yes, I’ve seen from the pov’s of Japanese landmines and they are open to it because we’re all supposed to be there for each other because nobody else is" ♡ ‪"Yeah, I think they can be, BUT they shouldn't go around acting like they are the template for what a landmine is, or demanding changes to the culture, just because they wear the fashion and/or are mentally ill. It's roots lie in Japan, so the "originals" are still Japanese Jirais" ‪♡ "of course they can ! never did the term refer to exclusively japanese people . even when the initial term " merged " with the toyoko kids , it didn't make it an exclusively japanese term . as long as you fit the " criterias " , you can be a jirai if you choose to label yourself as one ! ♡" ‪♡ "Nowadays I'd like to consider it a fashion style and fashion styles travel all around the world as long as u don't claim to be japanese cause you are wearing jirai you are good. You should also respect and learn the story of the style before u decide to wear it since it's more troubling than other styles." ‪♡ "Very unlikely. There are many factors that would eliminate most people to be "true Jirai kei" ie. experiencing homelessness as well as involved with sex work and host club addiction. Emily from the suburbs who lives with her family and has depression could not be Jirai kei but can partake in the cool fashion. Calling themselves Jirai would not be up to par with the real meaning of it." ‪♡ "Yes. The Japanese jirais don’t seem to disagree so I’m not sure why I would." ‪♡ "yes of course, its important to say that non japanese people often have different issues as japanese people but that doesnt make them less valid meaning they can still use the style as representation of their own issues" ‪♡ "yes and no. if you disregard the fashion and makeup or frame jirai kei as a "menhera" community when its not then you dont really deserve to call yourself a jirai onna. acknowledging that your generally live a better life because of your privilege of being outside of japan. though i can understand calling yourself a jirai onna if you suffer extremely similar problems to that of toyoko kids especially if you suffer from BPD." ‪♡ "Ofc it's clothes" ‪♡ "Yes, of course! Jirai kei is for anyone and I don't see a reason why people can't participate/ want to gatekeep it. I just think it's important to learn about the history and not be a jerk to those who participate in only the lifestyle or only the fashion part."

What does "Jirai Kei" mean to you personally? Why do you associate with the subculture?

I chose to make a word map for this to kind of point towards some of the most repeated words throughout the answers. A lot of these answers are very sad to read (just a heads up before you start going through them), but that is kind of to be expected. Most people mention mental illness and personal struggles with things like EDs, SH, alcoholism, other unhealthy coping mechanisms, or relationship issues. The thing that really stood out to me was that a majority of the people who are of the idea that "Jirai Kei" is the name of the fashion still brought up how the community feels comforting to them because they struggle with mental illnesses and relationship issues. Very few people just said "I like the clothes", most people also mentioned mental struggles in their answers.

I think that's an important thing to note. It really highlights the fact that you never know what someone is going through behind the screen. You only know what they choose to post, and many people choose to post cute outfit photos and things of that nature, but they still can be hurting behind all of that.

A few quotes: ‪♡ "it’s comforting to identify as one and feel like there’s a subculture out there of people who feel similarly to me. everyone connects with the label in different ways" "I like being able to relate with people and have somewhere to post my vents and get things off my chest without judgment" ‪♡ " i was paranoid for not being mentally ill enough for the community, i was absolutely terrified of making jirais mad at me and being rejected. to this day i am terrified of the day when they decide i did not suffer enough to be a jirai. but such a thought is twisted in and of itself, right?" ‪♡ " I love dressing up as fashion is a major coping mechanism for me and I feel delighted at being able to express myself through clothes: it is an art form. Dressing in the subculture's fashions has allowed me to express myself and come to terms with my experiences and who they made me today." ‪♡ "Funny enough my mom calls me a jirai girl (in a derogatory way since she has a typical older japanese person mindset) but i don't mind saying that i am one without shame. especially because i don't believe that my mental illness is something that should be stigmatized and judged. calling myself jirai feels liberating in a way..." ‪♡ "I feel like because I cannot wear the style (not enough money + sizing is difficult) I cannot call myself Jirai kei but I notice others who don’t wear the style call themselves Jirai, which is comforting. I’ve always struggled with mental health for most of my life and I’ve always loved Jfashion subcultures, so obviously I was drawn to Jirai." ‪♡ " i do think people who just wear dark girly kei should be careful when using the term jirai kei if they aren't in the subculture though. i see people say they're jirai and then mock the mentally ill people like?? you aren't jirai you WEAR jirai kei 💀💀 there is a difference!!" ‪♡ "i am also transgender - my girlhood is very important and nostalgic to me but it is also inseparable from dysphoria and sickness, and i think dark girly/jirai fashion helps me to express that." ‪♡ "I found I appreciated the relaxed attitude towards mental health struggles, nightlife activities and a visual indicator that someone might be a little “dangerous” or someone that likes to party." ‪♡ "when I first started, "I want to become cute!" was a big theme I was seeing. I can be cute even though I'm ugly and have bad mental health and it's ok. the style of the clothes is the biggest appeal." ‪♡ "I honeslty really only associate myself with the fashion aspect of it, since it’s something I really love. So instead of calling myself “Jirai”, I like to say I “dress in Jirai” instead." ‪♡ "To me, it's just the clothes. I don't call myself Jirai by itself because it's insulting"

What would you say the pre-requisites to being part of the Jirai Kei community are?

40% of people mentioned mental illness or struggles as a main part of the subculture. There were different approaches to the way that they mentioned it though. Some people were saying "you should be mentally ill since 'Jirai' is an insult used against mentally ill people and the explosive nature is part of the subculture" and others were saying "If you are mentally healthy you should stay away from Jirai Kei to protect yourself because you're going to see triggering things".

Many people said you don't have to be mentally ill to be part of the community, but you should understand that you are going to be interacting with people who are mentally ill and not bully people for venting. Some people said you have to be mentally ill and not wanting or willing to recover to be part of the community (although this was only 3% of people).

On the other hand, about 16% of people said that the only thing you need to do to be part of the community is wear the clothing.

People who mentioned both mental illness and clothing in their answers were divided into 4 different categories: ‪♡ "Mental illness" - they mention the fashion but state is it not a requirement for the community ‪♡ "Wear the fashion" - they may or may not mention mental illness, but do not think it is a requirement for the community ‪♡ "Wear the clothes AND be mentally ill" - they mention both and think both are required for the community ‪♡ "Wear the clothes OR be mentally ill" - they mention both and think you can either participate in the fashion side of things or the mental health side of things, but you don't have to participate in both.

Many people also mentioned doing the makeup as a big part of it. Some of the people who mentioned makeup as a requirement said that even if you don't wear the clothes as long as you do the makeup you're good.

A lot of people also said if you like the clothes or the community or whatever you're all good, so long as you don't bully anyone. Their general vibe was that anyone is welcome to hang out so long as they aren't mean to others. (Many people counted in the "don't be mean to 'fashion' onlys are also counted in the "don't be mean to 'lifestyle' onlys category as well. And as a note a lot of them didn't use those terms specifically I just used them to shorten "people who only wear the clothing" and "people who only participate in the mental health community" because those are looooooooong titles)

There isn't an overarching general consensus. It is very split and debated. (Which we all know). A lot of people were very passionate about their definitions though, which is to be expected. Mental health is a very touchy and personal topic for a lot of people, so people on both sides have really passionate emotions about it.

A few quotes: ‪♡ "i think people who are mentally healthy should stay away from the community; both so they don’t judge those whose thoughts they don’t understand but also for their own protection and comfort. the topics talked about in jirai spaces are triggering and disturbing. i don’t blame, nor judge jirais forthe abusive behavior neurotypicals could accuse them of — it is often not their fault and a mentally healthy person could easily harm a jirai as well. i think such interactions would end up with mutual suffering on each side." ‪♡ " to call yourself a jirai you need to wear the makeup, the clothes, and suffer from some sort of mental illness especially if your livelihood is often threatened by the fact you have these conditions. and its OKAY to not cal yourself a jirai its NOT A GOOD THING to want to be a jirai mentally ill people who call themselves jirai onna are mentally ill and just find comfort in some form by the title." ‪♡ ". i do feel like these are two separate communities with some overlap, especially with the recent western discourse. i don't like these terms as i feel they are a bit harsh but there is a difference between "fashion only jirai" and "lifestyle jirai". of course anyone can appreciate cool clothes but the landmine side of the community deserves a safe space to talk about their issues and relate to each ‪other without uneducated jirai kei wearers bashing them" ‪♡ "i wouldnt say you necessarily have to be struggling mentally to be considered jirai kei, but i dont personally like the way some fashion only jirais negatively talk about the more lifestyle jirais at times. i also however dont think lifestyle jirais should be actively trying to call people out for being a fashion only jirai. it could end up being quite harmful, as you never really know what people are going through." ‪♡ "You may have a mental illness such as BPD which directly links to the “Explosive Landmine” personality. Otherwise it’s fine to just call yourself a Fashion Landmine and only wear Jirai Kei without “being Jirai”." ‪♡ "It really depends on if someone likes the fashion only, identifies as a jirai (landmine person), or both. Someone who likes the fashion may just say they dress in jirai kei clothes. Also, just because someone identifies themselves as a stereotypical jirai and calls themselves just landmine doesn't always mean they wear the fashion either; although it's more common for someone to do both and straight-up call themselves jirai." ‪♡ "being mentally ill (and i mean... cmon a little more than just depression and anxiety because like all of gen z struggles with that((this isn't the mental illness olympics but this is meant to be a safe space for people struggling with more severe illnesses))) and owning like a few coords that isn't that one DML coord that everyone has and wearing the damn makeup" ‪♡ "I think just respecting the community. You don't have to be "mentally ill enough" to join but you do need to respect people no matter their problems and coping mechanisms." ‪♡ "Hot take but if you’re not a Jirai in Japan you’re not a true Jirai and I don’t mean the fashion I’m talking about life choices . You can wear the fashion without having to call yourself a landmine" ‪♡ "there's no requirement, anyone can wear the fashion. it's just clothes."

Do you feel like there is a difference between "Jirai Kei" and "Landmine Kei"?

Most people said no, which is the kind of idea that I had but I wanted to ask because I have seen people use them in different ways. Most of the people who said yes said that in English-speaking circles Landmine is used more to talk about the mental health aspects of things while Jirai is used more when talking about the fashion or overall community. Which I think is interesting. It seems to me that separating Landmine and Jirai is another way that people try to separate the clothing from the mental health community like the distinction people make between Jirai Kei and Dark Girly Kei fashions. (Anything else I have to say here would go into my own opinions so I'm going to leave it at that - it's an interesting thing to think about).

A few quotes: ♡ "i believe there is a difference between simply wearing jirai kei and being a landmine. people in the english speaking community generally use landmine kei to describe the mentally ill side of the community even though jirai literally means landmine. i only see landmine kei used in context of like the fashion mine vs lifestyle mine debate." ♡ "From my experience, I have seen many English speakers misinterpret the term 'Jirai Kei' and water it down to fashion but, of course, that shouldn't represent all of the English-speakers partaking in the discussion." ♡ "Anywho considering Jirai is a direct translation to Landmine, I don’t see how they could be any different." ♡ "I think Landmine Kei is more dressing up as the stereotype and Jirai Kei is the lifestyle that predates the stereotype." ♡ "I feel like calling it landmine kei does alert people more to the mental health side of the subculture"

What is your favourite part of the Jirai Kei Subculture?

This was a combined question "What is your favourite and least-favourite part of the subculture" and most people skipped the favourites part and started just talking about what they hate which did make me a little bit sad. I really liked reading about what people liked in the community.

Most people said the fashion was their favourite part. Both people who said that Jirai Kei is a mental health-based community and people who said Jirai Kei is a fashion-based community brought up fashion as a favourite part of theirs.

"Community" is a very vague thing - in this context, it mostly means they were talking about how they share a lot in common with people in the community whether that be fashion, idols, music, aesthetics, mental health, etc. However, most of the people who mentioned mental health as a main part of why they love the community are counted in "Safe Space" instead.

A few quotes: ♡ "I have dealt with a ton of ableism and med shaming before irl and in other places online, but never in the jirai community. So it makes me happy that I can vent without people treating me like I'm "crazy" or trying to force dramatic changes onto me." ♡ "I love the clothes so much of course so the aesthetic of the fashion is my favorite." ♡ "The clothes of course, I really loved visiting the clothes shops in Japan. People in Japan are really nice about my clothing and often compliment me when I wear Jirai Kei, plus all of the shopgirls are really kind." ♡ "my fav part is the super cute clothes and how u can meet so many other ppl who not only have the same fashion style, but also similiar/same issues/experiences as you, so you can share pretty much anything with no judging at all!!! ^_^" ♡ "I like having a place where I can be open about the reality of my mental illnesses without being bombarded with “solutions”." ♡ "i love wearing cute outfits, seeing other people's codes and seeing other landmines experiences ." ♡ "the fact that people actually understand how i think / feel most of the time , and that i won't get weird looks / i won't be judged for things" ♡ "Most favourite: people identifying each other and bonding over shared experiences (and of course, the fashion)" ♡ "I love the community as a space for people on all lines of recovery to come together and exist without judgement" ♡ "My favorite part of the subculture is blogs, the fact that the people in the community get to share their thoughts & be related to & validated makes me really happy" ♡ "I love how empowering Jirai Kei makes me feel."

What is your least favourite part of the Jirai Kei subculture?

NOTE BECAUSE SOME OF THEM GOT CUT OFF: ‪♡ "People who say you have to be..." is "People who say you have to be mentally ill" ‪♡ "People who use mental illness as an..." is "people who use mental illness as an excuse to be mean" ‪♡ "People who say you have to buy" is "people who say you have to buy certain brands"

The top answer was fashion Jirais. This is a combination of people who specifically said the term "Fashion Jirai" and people who said things like "people who only wear the clothes" or "people who think the community is just cute clothes and ignore the mental illness aspect of it". I combined those into the same count.

"Anti-recovery" as a category is more than just people talking about how recovery isn't front and centre like Menhera, or people talking about venting - it is specifically people who talked about people who say you cannot be in recovery if you are part of the Jirai Kei community.

"Glamorization of Sh/Ed" also is more than just people talking about posts that talk about those things, it is people who specifically said it is over-romanticized / glamourized. And as a note this is different from "lifestyle Jirais" since that category includes people that are just talking about vent posts or mention "lifestyle jirai"s by name.

"Lifestyle Jirais" and "People who don't wear the clothes" are also two different categories, lifestyle jirais is either people who said that by name or were talking about people who vent or think the community is mental-health based, and "people who don't wear the clothes" is just that, it's the people who specifically called that out.

I don't have too much to add here since I can't really add anything here without stating my personal opinions which isn't what I'm trying to do right now. I did find it comforting that most other people are sick of the discourse, and it's both people who think Jirai Kei is fashion-based and people who think Jirai Kei is mental health-based that were saying this.

A few quotes: ♡ "But there are legit people on here who act like you're 'fake' if you aren't attempting suicide every hour or something lmao" ♡ "i'm sick of sharing my safe space with people who think it's just a pink blouse and some short skirts and a bow." ♡ "putting a label on jirai that you have to act a certain way seems wrong. some rules and bashing on other girls wanting to wear the fashion is very wrong too." ♡ "i’m simply utterly terrified of rejection." ♡ "My least favorite would probably have to be those who promote self harm or say you have to engage in some sort of dangerous stuff to be a part of the subculture. While many of us do struggle with these things, it's super unnecessary to push people (mostly the fashion only jirai keis) to harm themselves." ♡ "least fav is that there are a lot of gatekeepers who want you to prove that you're actually mentally ill or they turn it into a competition of who's suffering the most. I also don't like how many jirai are anti recovery if someone chooses to recover (not forced, but their own choice). and I don't like that there are some really young kids in the community, like 13 and under" ♡ "I hate the people who slap a random pink shirt on and a black mini skirt and call it jirai because it’s not. Jirai is so much more than pink and black." ♡ "least fav is probably the fact how some ppl will say the most vile shit ever and use the fact that theyre a jirai as an excuse (it can always be a reason for said behavior, but never an excuse!! 😭😭)" ♡ "fashion "jirais". i don't like discourse at all , but i really wish people would understand the whole point of jirai kei before calling themselves a landmine :(" ♡ "the least, however, are the people who say you "dont need to be mentally ill to call yourself jirai" which is just ridiculous" ♡ "I don't like the narrative that we have to buy from the original designer or it's not Jirai, that's just buying into what the fashion industry wants you to think. A fashion is a style, not a designer brand. Quite frankly I just don't like being limited to certain brands." ♡ "Constant discourse (assuming that people can't resonate with the subcul just because they're not as vocal about their experiences as the others PLUS the bullying of actual people who struggle for venting when that is the core of this subcul)" ♡ "i wish it was more mature because many jirai people are in their early teens (12-14) and i feel the need to act as a role model in spaces that include minors, rather than speaking freely as i would normally among people closer to my age" ♡ "least favourite: weird gatekeeping (eg. "you can't wear jirai kei because you're not mentally ill""), shaming peoples looks and fatshaming in general" ♡ "My least favorite is the ones who say you have to be anti-recovery to be jirai. It's okay to be tired of hurting." ♡ "i detest the infighting, and the way that it's rapidly growing is kind of pissing me off because im more comfortable in smaller communities" ♡ "As for least favourite, glorification of ED and SH (I must note, glorification, not just the fact people discuss/have it in the community) as well as the fatphobia and such"

Overall very interesting read and very mixed responses, but also not actually as mixed as I thought they would be. Most people landed somewhere in the middle where they considered both fashion and mental health to be parts of the subculture and just had different levels of importance for those two things. Most people also did mention mental health being part of their reasoning for being here, whether they engage more in the fashion side of things or the mental health side of things.

If there are any clarifying questions about what the titles of things in these graphs really mean or why I chose to break things down in the way that I did I am more than happy to provide clarification to that! I'll try to respond to any comments like that as soon as I can. I won't be engaging in discourse or defending any points or anything (at least not here) - this is more about the answers to the survey and not my personal opinions so pls understand T-T.

If you read all that mess thank you! Took me a while to actually get all of this compiled. If you didn't thank you regardless! Especially if you responded in the survey to begin with ♡

Also if anyone is uncomfortable with their answer being posted in the answers document please contact me either on Tumblr @jiraisupportgroup or on Reddit @ Mara-melody (DMs should be open on both) with the details about which response was yours and I will delete it from the publicly available document! Thank you!!

#jirai kei #jiraiblr #poll #poll results #i don't know how to tag this to be honest #mara is yapping??? but its not really *MY* yappings #I'll tag it anyway #mara is yapping #Jirai talk

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roses-r-rosie3 · 7 months ago

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Cool With You

Tim Drake x Parent!M!Reader

Warnings: angst subject, fluff, suggestive bi!reader, struggling!parent!reader, kinda long fic,

Summary: While on patrol, Tim comes across the reader who is being harassed by loan sharks in an alleyway. When Tim saves the reader, he notices a baby is in the reader’s arms and before he can ask any questions the reader walks off. Tim decides to track the reader down and talks to him at the park.

A/n 1: This post is inspired by @strangeshoepatrolbandit

A/n 2: this was originally supposed to be one long story but I decided to split this into separate parts so that you guys had something 😭

Quote: “So… uhh… rough day huh?”

✁ - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

It was a dark and stormy night in Gotham and Tim was out on patrol as usual. There was surprisingly nothing really happening that night so Tim decided to call Alfred and just have a chat.

In the middle of their conversation, Tim heard some noises in an alleyway, so he decided to check it out. It could’ve been some rats digging the garbage can for some food, but something in Tim’s gut was telling him that it wasn’t. Lo and behold there were some guys in the alleyway surrounding someone and harassing them.

“Hey fellas, what are you up to?” Tim asked.

One of them immediately turned around and tried to attack Tim. The guy tried punching Tim, but quickly got knocked out. As soon as the first guy went down, the rest of them immediately went after him. One by one, Tim knocked all of them to the ground until it was only him and the person they were surrounding.

“T-thank you so much sir!” The guy said.

Tim took a moment to look at the guy’s face. He looked so handsome, so innocent. Were those people trying to mug the poor guy or something? But that’s when Tim noticed that the guy had a baby in his arms. Who’s baby was that? It couldn’t possibly be the guys, he looked far too young to even be a father.

“Is that a bab-”

“Sorry I have to go” the guy said quickly before walking off quickly.

Tim didn’t even have time to process what you said before you zoomed away. When Tim finally came to his senses, he tried to see if you were nearby, but you disappeared. That was really weird.

After that night, Tim couldn’t stop thinking about that guy. He was stuck in Tim’s head, so much so that Tim decided to do some research and try to crack who that guy was. After weeks and weeks of investigating, Tim finally found out who the guy was.

A guy named y/n l/n. A former college student who dropped out due to unknown reasons. You used to be the top of your class, you would’ve even been valedictorian. But one day you just dropped out without an explanation.

Tim found out that you worked several part-time jobs to pay rent for your crappy apartment. He felt bad for you, from what he’s seen, you came from a wealthy background, you had good looks, good grades, good friends, and a good social status. But what happened? Why was that baby in your arms? What did those guys want from you?

Those are the questions that Tim wanted to find an answer to. He decided that he was going to follow you for a whole week, just to get an idea of your schedule so that he could “accidentally” bump into you.

He found out that you just worked the whole day, but the only time you weren’t working was to go home, and to go to the park to relax during your break. Bingo, he knew exactly what he was going to do. For the first time in a while, Tim actually made sure to get a good nights sleep beforehand. What were you doing to him?

It was the day that Tim was planning to “accidentally” bump into you. Tim was feeling really happy and giddy, was it because he finally got a good night’s rest or was it because he was excited to see you?

You usually walked into the park around 3:30pm so Tim just had to wait for you to sit on the bench where you usually sat. When you finally arrived you immediately sat down at your designated bench.

Tim felt a bit nervous at first, was he being too creepy? Should he have just let you be? But regardless, Tim took a deep breath before walking up to you.

“Hey can I sit here?” Tim asked.

“Yeah, of course” you smiled.

Tim sat down awkwardly and you both sat there in silence for a good five minutes before Tim spoke up.

“So… uhh… rough day huh?” Tim said.

“Don’t even get me started” you chuckled.

“Work problems?” Tim “guessed”.

“Yeah, I work all day. I barely have time to spend with my kid, he spends more time with my neighbors than he does with me” you joked.

“You have a kid?” Tim said.

“Yeah, I accidentally got a girl pregnant when I was at a party. We decided to keep it but she didn’t want to be a mom so she gave up her parental rights. I don’t blame her but it’s kinda hard you know?” You confessed.

Tim started putting the pieces together in his head slowly but surely. The reason why you dropped out was to take care of the baby.

“I-I’m sorry if I overshared” you apologized.

“No, no, you’re fine, how’s life like with the baby? Tim asked.

“It’s pretty hard, but I’ll always be grateful that I have him, I honestly don’t know what I would do” you chuckled.

“What’s his name?” Tim asked.

“Theo” you smiled, thinking about the image of your child.

“That’s a wonderful name” Tim complimented.

“Thanks” you said.

It went silent again and for some reason, Tim just felt attached to you. He wanted to get to know more about you, but not in a “I need more information about him” kind of way, more like a, “I want get to know more about him” kind of way.

“Hey uh, I can watch him for you if you want to” Tim suggested.

“It’s fine I don’t want to trouble you, and I’m pretty low on money right now, so I wouldn’t really have anything to pay you with” you replied.

“I can do it for free” Tim said.

“Really? Thank you so much, you have no idea how much that means” you exclaimed.

I know what you’re thinking, ‘why would you just trust some random stranger that you just met with your baby?’. Something in your gut was telling you to let him.

“My name is Tim by the way” Tim smiled.

“Y/n” you smiled back.

You pulled out your phone to check the time, and your break was almost over already!

“Shit, sorry but my break is almost over” you said.

“Can I get your phone number before you go?” Tim asked.

“Oh, yeah sorry about that” you said before typing in your number on Tim’s phone.

“I’ll see you tomorrow then” you smiled before waving bye to Tim.

Tim looked on as you slowly walked away. When you were finally out of his eyesight he started looking back on the conversations until he realized something….

HE OFFERED TO BABYSIT! Tim couldn’t even take care of himself properly! Let alone a baby! WHY?! WHY WOULD HE DO THIS TO HIMSELF!

Tim took some deep breaths before slowly calming down. Who knows maybe babysitting won’t be that hard. He spent the whole night looking up videos of how to change diapers and take care of a baby. All he could do now is pray that all we go well….

#male x male #mlm #malexmale #male reader #mxm #rosesrrosie3 #gay #tim drake x you #tim drake x reader #tim drake x male reader #tim drake #red robin x y/n #red robin x male reader #red robin x you #red robin x reader #red robin #tim drake x y/n #tim Drake x parent!m!reader

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the-fandom-is-now-my-life · 4 months ago

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Because I think I might get around writing for most of the men at some point for the future au I wanted to see or already arrange how many kids they would have

Jin would have two kids in complete accident, he was very happy by his father's discontent at his heir's lack of kids but things happened, the person who celebrated them the most was the grampa. Maybe two boys or a boy and a baby girl.

Thoma screams girl dad, doesn't he? Just imagine him braiding her hair for evening tea and being a menace to any boys she brings home with Alan if they break her heart, he is still a delinquent at heart.

For Luca I'm split between wanting him to have two boys to mirror him and his brother or a spoiled girl he plays knight for, sigh, such a hard decision...

Kaito, how did he reproduce?

Alan, two kids, one of each, no hesitation, he has a ‘little princess’ who he is nervous of hurting accidentally when he holds her but is as much of a wild beast as his brother. They like going hiking and getting chased by their dad when they get too close to a lake or too far away from the path.

In Leo’s scenario i see him with a daughter that managed to soften out his meanness (while she is around so she doesn't pick up on much of his sass, kids don't make miracles) and left him with another on the way that I also feel would be another girl. He is just a bit annoyed he doesn't have to redo the nursery for content but whatever.

Sho I KNOW that in his fic I said ‘nephew’ but imagine a baby girl that was playing with her family before she was even born and had you two scattering to find a girl's name at the hospital. It's just the beginning of her mischievous streak. Sho thinks it's his karma from being a thug as a teen.

I don't know why but I can see Romeo having three kids? Maybe because Gucci had like five kids or it's to a certain degree to assure himself the MC wants to stay with him and wouldn't leave out of the blue 💔 attachment issues bb.

Ritsu originally only wanted one child, he was an only child and was happy getting all the attention, but not everything went as he planned so he got twin boys.

Taiga, why would you do this to yourself??

Haru already has a son, peekaboo, but when he grows up he accidentally has a boy who he starts giving some minor tasks around, separating some leaves for the animals, brushing peekaboo’s hair, plucking weeds, etc etc. Don't look at him like that! He need all the help he can get.

Towa has girls! They like fairy tales with happy endings and always bother their dad to tell them your love story. When they become toddlers they go through a vegan phase to mimick him and will cry if they have meat or egg on their plate.

Ren was 99% sure he was going to die a virgin. He ends up with a girl he plays games with everyday after work. Borderline ipad kid.

Can grandpa Ed even have kids? Lol if he has I think I could see him with just one vampy baby that sits next to him and drinks tears off a sippy cup while his dad watches iceberg videos. Another ipad kid.

Rui (if somehow you broke his curse) is someone who I don't think would have kids, or at least not planned jajs but maybe one girl that he ends up overprotecting from playboy men like him in his youth.

Lyca I want to say they have a litter just for the joke of him being a werewolf but he doesn't seem to have any siblings so the joke doesn't get far :(

I see Subaru with only one child if any. He loves the little thing but feels he is intruding on their privacy, whenever he touches his preteen/teen kid he feels sorry enough to apologize.

I see Haku as someone who would be pretty chill with his life after Darkwick and go along with it as it happened. If you two had a child, great; if you didn't, great too. Very go with the flow parenting too.

Zenji he is dead wth jajajaj

Yuri NEEDS a little child that is always so impressed with their papa and he gets to brag about being the best or something. Please just don't let him be a strict teacher so your kid will follow his steps, he thinks it's for the best of their future but you can coerce him into just giving a very lengthy lecture about anomalous medicine without tests.

Jiro HAS to have a boy that is so similar to his uncle 🥹 always cooing since he is able to vocalize and chasing his dad around to get uppies while he tends to the backyard filled with herbs.

#tokyo debunker #tokyo debunker x reader

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duskrosecreatesstuff · 7 months ago

Text

Wooden You Like to Know?

Written originally as part of a frenzy of ideas bounced around with friends over the potential for the inappropriate use of Sussur tree pieces and by-products, and submitted for #HalsinTavWeek Day 6 - Aphrodisiacs

Summary: Halsin acquires a piece of Sussur wood, and uses it to create a special toy for his lover.

Read on AO3 here

Pairing: Halsin / F!Reader

Word count: 2.7k

Warnings: Explicit smut, Aphrodisiac use, Sex toys, PiV sex, very slight bondage (if you squint), kinda Soft Dom Halsin (again, if you squint).

“Is that Sussur bark in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?” you jokingly said, as he strode across the camp towards you, a conspicuous lump in the front of his trousers.

“Well, actually …” his face split in a wide grin as he pulled his hand from his pocket and withdrew a chunk of faintly glowing wood.

“Awww, darn.” you laughed, returning the grin.

Your feelings were mixed. A touch of disappointment, a hint of smugness that you’d been right, and a whole lot of interest in what he actually planned to do with that piece of wood.

“Besides, my heart. I am always happy to see you.” He leaned down to kiss the top of your head, before taking a seat on the log next to you. He thoughtfully turned the piece over in his hands.

“So, why the interest in a piece of bark? What do you intend to do with that?”

He continued to rotate the piece around, studying it. “It isn’t bark, it’s a piece from the end of a branch. And I’m curious. I’ve never tried my hand at working with this type of wood before. So I’m interested to see what my tools can do.”

So he intended to whittle something from it. You were reluctant to touch the magical timber, although you were also curious about it. Standing in the aura of the tree had drained your magic completely, surely it had to be affecting him too.

“How are you able to hold it? Doesn’t it feel wrong? And what about your magic?”

“It’s only a piece, so it doesn’t drain my magic. Perhaps it can’t anymore, being separate from the living tree. And it may be because I draw on Nature for my magic, not the Weave, as you do. As for how I can hold it, well …” He considered for a moment. “It tingles a little, for sure. Like a prickle on my skin. The sensation is … interesting.” There was something about the way he put emphasis on the word ‘interesting’, the way he caught your eye as he said it, that sent a pleasurable shiver down your spine.

*****

Days passed and you didn’t even think about the Sussur piece until one evening, as you were eating dinner. He sat next to you, leaned in to kiss your cheek, and then whispered softly in your ear.

“I have a gift for you.”

“Oh? What is it?”

“A surprise. For later.” You could feel his lips curl as he smiled against your neck. “But I ‘Suss-pect’ you might guess what it could be.”

Your eyes went wide. Was that … did he just make a pun? And was he referring to that piece of Sussur wood? He’d made that into a gift for you?

Your interest was thoroughly piqued and you tried to hurry him along by eating quickly, but he ignored your efforts. You were positively vibrating with curiosity by the time he got up to head to his tent. The speed with which you followed him was practically indecent.

He sat on his bedroll as you closed the flap behind you, his shirt already discarded for the night. In one hand, he held an object wrapped in a piece of silken fabric, with the other, he patted the spot next to him, in an invitation to sit down. You did so, looking from his face, to his lap and back again. He smiled at you.

He offered the wrapped bundle to you, and you took it in both hands, your eyes getting big with realisation as you felt the vaguely cylindrical shape beneath the fabric. He hadn’t …

You laid the item in your lap, and peeled back the fabric, to reveal the thing inside. Your mouth fell open. He had. In your lap you cradled a perfectly carved replica of his own erect self. No wonder it had taken days, the detail was exceptional, and he had clearly taken the time to polish the surface to a fine finish. A very necessary step, given the intended use. Somehow, the piece of wood still managed to maintain its unearthly silver-blue glow.

You stroked your fingers along it, feeling how smooth the finish on the wood was. But more importantly feeling how the magical timber felt against your skin. How had he described it all those days ago? LIke a tingle? A prickle, that was it. And that was on your fingers. How would it feel when it was pressed against … other parts of you. You didn’t realise he was staring at you, taking in every detail of your reaction, until he spoke.

“Is it to your liking?”

“It’s beautiful.” You grinned, leaning over to give him a brief kiss. “Thank you.”

You moved to wrap it back up. He placed a hand over yours, pausing you.

“Don’t you want to try it out?”

“Here? Now?” Your eyes were wide, and you suddenly felt rather shy. “You want me to …?”

“I’d like us to. To enjoy it. Together.”

You felt the heat rising to your cheeks. You had plenty experience with toys, but you’d always kept that private. You’d never used one with him before. Not with anyone. You hesitated.

“It’s … I … “ you struggled to find the right words. You exhaled, hard, steeling yourself. “Sharing a toy … it’s a bit new to me. I’ve never-”

“Then we start slow,” He reached for the toy and placed it carefully to one side, “and see where things lead us.”

He reached for you, pulling you into his lap, your thighs spreading to straddle his. He leaned in to kiss you softly, hands caressing up your back, feeling the tension in your shoulders. He rubbed gently, as your own hands explored over his broad, warm chest. You relaxed into him and his hands dipped to the hem of your shirt, tugging it up. He pulled away from your lips to lift the shirt over your head, but quickly met with you again as he tossed it to the side.

His hands drifted to cup your breasts, as his tongue licked at your lips, requesting entry. You parted them for him, your tongues meeting, as you arched your back to press your chest into his hands. He stroked his fingers over your nipples, felt them stiffen beneath his practised touch. When he heard you moan softly against his mouth, he pinched them gently, rolling them between his fingertips. Your breathing quickened, and you moved your hips to grind against his, feeling the real version of him stirring beneath you.

He leaned forward into you, a gentle pressure to lay back, his hands sliding down your sides, to slide your hips off him. He pulled away from the kiss as he lowered you onto the soft furs of his bed, reaching for the waistband of your legwear, tugging it and your underwear down your thighs, as you wriggled your legs to help him get them completely off you.

He stared down, drinking in the view of you bared completely to him, and he glanced to the side at the toy, glowing gently like a phallic nightlight. You watched him, lips parted slightly.

“May I try something?”

“Such as?” You felt a little nervous, but you trusted him. Completely.

“I want you to close your eyes, and let me touch you with it. I want you to describe to me how it feels. And please, I need you to tell me if it gets to be too much.”

You took a deep breath, and nodded. “Yes.”

You exhaled that breath as you closed your eyes, forcing yourself to relax back into the furs. You became acutely aware of the cool air on your skin, the warmth emanating from him between your knees, the rustle as he moved. You gasped as you felt something cool and smooth touch your breastbone, your eyes fluttering open at the tingling sensation against your skin.

“Now, now.” You heard his voice, deep and soft. “No cheating.”

“It surprised me.”

“I could always blindfold you, if that would be easier.”

You gave it a thought, and agreed. He quickly took the soft fabric that had wrapped the toy, and folded into a strip. You sat up so he could wrap it over your eyes, and tied it carefully behind your head. When he was sure you could no longer see him, he took the opportunity to steal another kiss, before pressing his hands to your shoulders, signalling for you to lay back again.

He didn’t keep you waiting long as he brought the toy to touch your chest in the same spot as before, and slowly dragged it down to your navel. You shivered at the sensation.

“How does it feel?” he asked curiously.

“It’s like you said, it tingles. And it’s not fading very quickly.”

You felt him repeat the motion with a warm fingertip. You shivered again.

“And that?”

“It’s … more intense. It's more sensitive there now.”

You felt him drawing a few more stripes over your body, his fingers trailing in the wake of sensitised skin, and you raised your hand, fingers searching, wanting, needing to touch something, preferably his warm skin. You felt his hand encircle your wrist, and press it back down at your side.

“Behave. Or I might just have to use the vines on you again.”

Usually, you loved that playful threat. Another time, you would have enjoyed being just defiant enough to push him to use it. But tonight, you were already feeling close to overwhelmed, so instead, you gripped handfuls of the furs beneath you.

He watched as you clasped the fur, and, satisfied with your token of submission, he released your wrist. He drifted his fingertips over your ribs, moving his hand to cup your breast, and a moment later, you felt the touch of the Sussur magic brushing against your nipple, making you gasp. The prickling sensation lingered as he moved the toy to your other nipple, and dipped his head to take your sensitised little bud between his lips. You gasped and arched your back as he suckled gently, the sensation so much more intense than usual.

He used his knee to press your thighs a little wider as he trailed the toy lazily down over your stomach, across your mound, and down lower, to dip the tip in your dripping slick, then slid it back up along your slit to the apex. He positioned the toy against your clit, and then let it rest against your thigh, taking that moment to shed the rest of his own clothing. You felt your clit swelling in response to the touch, a throbbing ache between your thighs. You wiggled your hips, tilting them slightly, trying to rub against the toy, desperate for some friction.

He noticed what you were doing, and smirked, as he tossed his clothing aside.

“It seems that is to your liking.” You could only huff in response. He removed the toy from its position, and you whined at the loss of contact. You were rewarded as he dipped his head to lap gently at your aching bud.

“Please.” you moaned, desperately pressing your hips up to him.

“Not yet, my heart. I want to see how you look with this inside you. Do you think you can take it?.”

“Yes,” you gasped. “I … I want to try.”

He slid the toy along your slit, bathing it in your slick, listening to your breath stutter as the magical wood touched your sensitive skin. He lined it up carefully with your entrance.

“My love. You will tell me to stop if this is too much, or you feel any discomfort?”

“I will. Yes.” you promised.

“Good.” He smiled down at you, and slowly began to press the thick toy inside you. You gasped, the muscles in your thighs twitching at the sensation. You breathed hard, working to relax around the toy. He paused, giving you a moment to adjust to the feel of it, listening to your breathing, watching for any signs of discomfort from you.

“More?”

“Please.” You panted. “Gods, please, yes”

He pulled the toy back, and started thrusting it slowly, working it deeper and deeper with each push, watching the way your back arched up to meet his movements, the quiver in your thighs.

“Oh my heart. You’re taking it so well. Just a little more.”

You whimpered at the praise, all sensation focused on the throbbing in your core, as he rocked the toy deeper into you. The muscles in your thighs trembled, and you realised he had stopped moving the toy. He looked down at you, admiring the way you were stretched wide around it, your slick skin shining in the soft glow of the wood. With one hand holding it gently in place, he leaned down again to put his lips to your clit, licking and sucking on it.

Between the shiver of magic running through your stuffed and full core, and the movement of his lips and tongue, you couldn’t help but lose control, crying out his name as your hips bucked up to meet his mouth, your sensitive walls clenching against the unyielding hardness of the toy.

You couldn’t see the grin on his face, you could only let out a stuttering gasp as you felt the toy being carefully slid out of you, followed by the soft rumble of his voice.

“Are you still alright, my love?”

“Yes.” Your voice was the barest of whispers, between panting breaths. You felt the warmth of his body against yours, as he leant over you to tug on the silken fabric covering your eyes and toss it aside. You blinked up at him, eyes dark, and he dipped down to kiss you, the taste of your own juices on his lips. You raised your hands to thread your fingers through his hair, and this time, he didn’t correct your little act of defiance.

He pulled away from the kiss as he shifted his hips and you felt pressure against your dripping entrance again, every bit as rigid as the toy had been, only warmer. Your gaze met his as you lifted your thighs to wrap them around his waist, and he reached a hand down to guide himself into you. Thanks to the toy, you were more than ready to take him and with one strong thrust, he sank deep inside you, as you gasped out his name at the welcome intrusion, the prickle of the Sussur magic like an itch that you desperately wanted scratched. He settled into a steady rhythm, massaging against your tingling walls, listening to the sounds of you whimpering beneath him, as your pleasure built again. He moved to kiss his way down your neck, to your chest, the places he’d touched with the wood still more responsive. You arched your back up to him as he took a nipple in his mouth, your hands gripping his shoulders, your thighs gripping his sides. He felt your wet heat quivering around him.

“I want to feel you shatter over me, my love.” he whispered breathlessly. He deftly slipped a hand between your bodies, positioning his thumb to rub tight circles on your clit. You moaned as he increased his pace, pounding into you, eyes closed in pleasure as he brought you to that edge, and tipped you over, your walls clenching hard around him.

His lips crashed against yours again, muffling the way you were about to scream his name; his tent might have been farthest away from the campfire, but you still didn’t need everyone else hearing you. A few last deep thrusts and you felt him tense and pulse within you, following you in ecstasy.

He lay there on top of you for a few moments, as your hearts both slowed and your breathing became less ragged. He wrapped you in his arms to roll you both to your sides, and you felt him slip out of you as he softened, a rush of warm liquid over your thighs.

“I wouldn’t want to crush you, my heart.”

“Would be one hell of a way to go.” you grinned, tilting your chin to kiss him gently.

He reached to the side for a cloth and some water, and carefully wiped the mess of your combined fluids gently off the both of you, also taking a moment to clean the carved wooden toy. Once he was satisfied, he laid himself alongside you, and pulled a blanket up to cover you both. Warm, strong arms wrapped around you to pull you in close, and you closed your eyes as he nuzzled against your neck.

“Sweet dreams, my heart.” he murmured.

#bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 halsin #halsin #halsin silverbough #halsin smut #halsin x reader #sussur smut #that poor tree #this is only the beginning

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