#this is why i get so offended when people refer to tumblr as an 'app'

[rose-riot-johnson]

Hey my Tumblr Peeps😃👍While this fanfic was originally going to be a Choso fanfic, however I decided to write a fanfic and have Rensuke Kunigami, instead (apologies ahead of time with character replacement for this fanfic, ahead of time 😅)... I really had a hard time figuring out what to do with the fanfic without cancelling it, so I just decided why not make changes with the fanfic and even add some stuff to it including genres⚽💡

*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅

🧡⚽Rensuke Has A Plan To Reassure You In A Different Way, If His Truthful, Words Don't Convince You This Time⚽🧡(Rensuke Kunigami x Female Reader)

Genres: Possible Angst, Possible Comfort, Smut (Warning +18: Praise Kink, Nipple Play, Nipple Licking, Nipple Sucking, Oral (Both recieving), Vaginal Penitration, Language, Brief fingering, Nudity, and Mentions of deep throating (and depending on the reader's imagination if there's deep throating)

Your life has been dreadful on and off. You were in your shell often and have been timid, especially on the social media (sites and/or apps) you go on and in your personal life with friends and family. You just felt obligated to prioritize everyone else's happiness over your own happiness and well-being.

One day, you met a man named Rensuke Kunigami in a night club. He sensed that you tend to keep most of your opinions to yourself just to avoid confrontation and to keep others happy and you even go far as not telling people that your offended about something just to keep them from being offended themselves, so he decided to exchange cellphone numbers with you, as he hopes to try to get you out of your shell. After a few cellphone calls, going on a few dates and you attending a couple of football matches (which some people refer as, soccer games) that he was in, the both of you then decided to have a relationship together.

Since you started your relationship with Rensuke, your life has changed and for the better. You have been saying your opinions more, you have been taking better care of your well-being, you have been focusing more on your happiness (than you used to), and you have been a happier person than you ever remember being. You just couldn't imagine your life without him.

There's just an issue or so with your relationship with Rensuke... He has been very sex starved (and ofcourse you are too), since atleast the last few games and neither of you knew when was the last time you had sex with him (which is frustrating for the both of you (more him)). If that's not enough, on top of that while your self-esteem was getting better, you still had some issues of your own, considering some negative stuff that happened with your past relationships, to the point where you felt like you're the most unlovable person ever, because of most of your past relationships ends with your exes dumping you and having you be the last to know. The worst part is no matter how much reassurance he gives you, you just felt he will always find a reason to leave you somehow.

One night after Rensuke took some time off from football (which some people refer as, soccer) to spend time with you inside the house he shares with you now. While he's decorating the bedroom the both of you share together to make tonight a special night for the both of you, you went inside the room and asked, "Rensuke, are you sure you love me? Why have you put up with me, as long as, you did? And what in the hell do you ever see in me?", as you're trying to hold your tears back. He tried to reassure you, as he answered, "Ofcourse I love you, (female reader name). With putting up with you... Out of my love for you and you're very easy to get along with... Plus, you're very sweet to me... And I see alot in you, my sweetie... It's just that, there's so much more that I see in you, than I could explain...". You replied, "I guess I just never know what to think... I know I'm ready for the relationship... It's just the abandonment issues I'm trying to get over is very hard not to let get to me... I still get in the back of my mind where you would find a reason to throw me away, like I'm a horrible monster, one day... I guess part of my problem is that, I tend to be self-loathing at times... I just was used to being abandoned, where there's always fear that I will always be unwanted...", before you went to hug him tightly, as he hugged you back. That was when he had an idea that might give you ultimate reassurance to prove to you that you're more lovable than you believe yourself to be when nothing else has been able to keep you convinced.

"Would you like to lay in the bed, beautiful? There's some stuff I would like to do with you, if you don't mind, babe...", Rensuke cooed, as he changed the subject. You then stopped hugging him, as you then took your clothes off and stripped yourself completely naked before going to the bed to lay down on. All Rensuke did was stripped himself, while leaving only his boxers on so far, as he's holding on to his tie that he was wearing. "Let me know, if I'm hurting you, sweetheart, because I rather not get rough on you, unless you tell me, until we get to the finale...", he cooed, as he walked to the bed before getting on top of you, as he the proceeded to tie your wrists together with his tie, he was holding.

After Rensuke had his tie, tied around both of you wrists, he teased, "Hmmm... What should I do first? Should I suck on your amazing tits, first? Or should I have some fun with your beautiful, clit?", as he lightly touched your clit, to get a light groan leaving your lips before he continued, "Decisions, decisions... What to do first?", before he grined down at your pussy knowing he was going to eat your pussy out first. While he was licking your pussy, he did madesure he licked at the bud of your pussy, knowing full well you would moan out his name and the fact that your bud is the most sensitive part of your pussy. A few minutes later he started sucking on your pussy, while licking your bud, only this time he was licking it non-stop. "Oh fuck, Rensuke... You know I'm sensitive there... Why did you have to go lick my bud...", you moaned, as your legs started twitching, you were about to release yourself inside his mouth, and your face started to turn red out of pleasure of him eating your clit out the way he did.

Once Rensuke stopped eating your clit out, he briefly used both fingers inside of your pussy hole, as he replied, "Knowing your bud is very sensitive is why I licked on it, sweetie... You deserve some extra pleasure... Aaaaawwwww... Look you face is blushing red for me... Did I pleasure your pussy that much? You have such an amazing pussy that I couldn't tell how pleasured you were, until now... Don't worry, my angel... We're just getting started...", before he took his fingers out of your pussy, then played with both of your sensitive nipples... He could tell you're overstimulated from him playing with your sensitive nipples, however he also notices you're holding your moans back. He then teased, "Why hold back, sexy... There's no need to... I'm taking care of you... I want to pleasure you... Besides... Your breasts are the only breasts I want to see... So if you're going to hold back, I might as well overstimulate your tits more...", before he licks both of your nipples, then proceeded to suck on your right nipple.

You really enjoyed the sensation of Rensuke sucking on your right nipple for a few minutes to the point where you couldn't hold back as you moaned, "You did amazing on sucking on my right nipple... Could you suck on the other nipple like you did with the right nipple, please...". He notices from the tone of your voice that you're no longer holding back your enjoyment of getting overstimulated, as stopped sucking on your right nipple, then he answered, "Ofcourse, my sweetie... Anything for you... Both of your tits are very sexy and I planned on sucking both tits anyways... Even if that isn't the plan, still... Anything for you, babe...", before sucking on your left nipple the same way, as he sucked on your right nipple. You were overstimulated from getting your left nipple sucked on, just as much as you did with your right nipple.

After Rensuke got done sucking on your left nipple, he said, "I have a question, (Female Reader Name)... Would it be alright, if I put my cock in your mouth? I will try to be gentle and there will be deep throating, but only if you want... Or if I do it accidentally...", before taking his boxers off, as he is now completely naked. "Ofcourse, Rensuke... I honestly wouldn't mind, your dick in my mouth, actually... I seriously have been waiting for a while to suck on your cock... And I'm perfectly fine, if your cock is deep in my throat...", you answered, trying to hide your smirk on your face. When he got the hint that you consented to sucking on his cock (even if he was on top of you) he put his cock inside of your mouth, as he tries to be gentle with riding your face.

Minutes went by, as Rensuke keeps thrusting his cock, as gently as he can, while he's noticing the expressions on your face, giving him the impression that he's doing a good job, even if it was his first time riding your face (with his cock in your mouth). He then groaned as he praised, "I see you really enjoyed my cock riding inside of your mouth, (female reader name)... It also seems like your mouth took my cock well... I guess you meant what you said about wanting my dick right inside your mouth... You look, so beautiful... With my dick in your mouth and also without my dick in your mouth, as well... My cock just felt good inside your mouth... You're doing amazing, my love...". (Up to reader's imagination, if there's deep throating in this fanfic)

Once Rensuke is done feeding you his cock, he moved back to your legs to kiss your thighs, before he moved both of your legs over his shoulders, inserting his cock inside of your tight pussy, as he begins to thrust himself inside of you, while holding you thighs. As Rensuke groans from the feeling of your tight pussy around his cock, he was still able to focus the expressions (and blushing) on you face and your whimpers leaving you lips, showing him that you're really getting your enjoyment from him thrusting his cock inside your overstimulated, tight hole. He smirked, as he moaned, "I see that getting your tight hole enjoys taking my cock in... I can tell you get overstimulated from what has to be your most favorite part of our sex time, my brave queen...", before moving your legd off his shoulders, then opening up your legs, as he continued, "But let's see, if I could could go deeper inside you...", while he continued thrusting deeper inside your pussy.

A few minutes went by, as Rensuke keeps thrusting his cock inside your already worn out pussy. You were, so cock drunk, where you the feeling of his cock inside of your pussy.... When your pussy was first tight around his cock and Rensuke spreading your legs to get his cock deeper inside of your hole. All you could do is whimper, "Oh fuck, Rensuke! Please keep fucking me! Don't stop please!", as your begs gave Rensuke the hint to keep fucking you, until he atleast cums inside of you, despite of your pussy has been worn out. He then had your legs wrapped around him, as he started to thrust inside of you harder and faster, while the both of your were locking lips together into an extremely heated kiss to reduce the loudness from his moans and your whimpers.

Once Rensuke emptied himself inside of you, while making sure his cum stays inside of your pussy hole, he unties his tie where you can move you hands freely again, so you can touch both sides of his facial cheeks. He then asked, as he whispered, "Did I give you enough reassurance about the fact I will never leave you, my cutie?", as he moved 1 of his hands on the same side of one of your facial cheeks. "Yes, Rensuke... I see your point... I think you reassured me enough... Now I know I won't have to worry about being left behind, as long as we're still together...", you replied in a whisper. He then replied back whispering, "That's good to hear... And (Female Reader Name)... I love you...". You then whispered once more, replying again, "I love your too, Rensuke Kunigami...", before the both of you kissed eachother's lips, then the both of you looked into eachother's eyes, until you and Rensuke fell peacefully asleep.

⚽🧡The End🧡⚽

Okay my Tumblr Peeps, I hope you enjoyed this Rensuke Kunigami smut fanfic I have written😁👍I just really wanted to write something for this particular fanfic, I figured why not write it the way I did...🤔😃👍I figured that this type of fanfic I have been working on would fun to write😃👍The fanfic took me a long time to complete, even tough I originally was going to write about Choso😅And again apologies for the character replacement😅

[yandere-sins]

hi there!! i've been following you for a while, and i've finally gotten the balls to open my own yandere blog. I was wondering if you had any tips, or anything that you would've wanted to know beforehand!! i hope you have a lovely day/evening, and that you stay safe!!

Hey!! That’s amazing, let me know your handle, I’d love to read your writings ^-^ It’s a big step but I am sure you’ll do great and I hope you have a lot of fun! Only recently someone asked me on my Arcana Blog what my advice to people with a new Tumblr blog was. You can find my answer here!

As for what I would have liked to know before I started one... hmmm... I guess there are three things I had to learn the hardest over the years:

Nobody cares about your rules. As harsh as it sounds, it’s better to know your own boundaries and just delete requests that go against them, instead of always referring to your rules and point towards them. I wouldn’t even bother with making any (though it can help if you want to make a point in any kind of arguing about why you did this and that), because maybe like 20% of the requesters are really going to be interested in them. Every time someone requests something against them, you will feel angry about it and upset because you will feel like your rules (aka feelings) mean nothing to those people. That’s just bad vibes you don’t need in your life. And if you’re not careful, and are really offended, you call out someone who will then start to argue and hate on you. That’s really not something you need. Take the requests as they come and form them into what you are comfortable with/what inspires you, or just delete them so you don’t have to constantly look at them.

Turn off notifications! I learned this much too late. It really ruined my nights and mental health that I’d constantly check notifications on my phone to see if my posts get seen and stuff. I highly recommend turning off notifications so you only see what’s happening when you log into the Tumblr app or website. It will also help a bit with not comparing notes with other artists and just overall does good for your mental health. Just remember that you also won’t be notified about private messages anymore this way, but if you check on the app regularly and in a healthy way, it won’t matter much.

Interact with others! Something that even I haven’t learned after so much time is how to get yourself into connection with others in your field. It can be amazing to make friends in your field of creativity for inspiration and thoughts-exchange. But also, it can help grow your blogs because you two can collaborate and followers will be able to find the other’s blog through those projects. There are only good aspects in any way, though of course, be reasonable when moving around in fandoms and try to not get into any discourse that isn’t yours just for the sake of being liked or anything. Fandoms can be really bad sometimes, so try to just find a few people you like to hang with and culture your relationships with them! That’s enough already ^^

Technically, I said these points in the post linked above already too but I just wanted to give them another go. All that I mentioned in the other post is of course important for growing as a blog, but those three tips here were something I really wish I had learned early so I wouldn’t have had to find out the hard time or end up struggling with them.

Also I want to mention that when you create a new Tumblr blog, you’ll probably get shadowbanned for the first two weeks or so, to verify you’re not spamming and a bot. I feel like it’s easier to go around the shadowban if you use a side blog, but if you don’t mind the low period for a while, you should make a new Tumblr so you can have your writing blog as its own blog. It’s better for interactions!

Anyhow, I wish you a lot of fun! I love my yandere blog very much and I feel very welcome and happy in the community, so I am sure you’ll do great too! ^^

Stay safe too!

[brewskimanuski]

Why is all social media political? I can’t scroll through a single app without seeing 90% of the content being political. Especially tumblr tbh. This hellsite used to be an escape from all the horrible shit happening in the world and now it’s just nothing but politics with a handful of actual shitposts, which usually end up relating to politics somehow. It’s like Facebook but worse cause at least on Facebook there are videos I can scroll through without having to see a bunch of crap inbetween. People can only handle SO MUCH before it just completely wears you down. I’m tired. I’m tired of seeing this everywhere I look. I literally cannot handle another political post about some shit that’s never going to change. The world is shit, it’s not going to shit, it’s already there. I know. We all know. But god fucking dammit can we have a fucking break please? It’s great that we can communicate what’s actually going on around the world, but it’s too much to HAVE to be worried about EVERYTHING ALL THE TIME. Because let’s be honest here, if you don’t voice an opinion about something, SOMEONE is going to get offended or mad or just pick and choose topics in a conversation that fit their narrative. I’m fucking sick of it. The endless petitions ( honestly have they ever actually worked? Like seriously have they? I have no idea. ) , the cancel culture, the toxic shit that comes from the LGBT community ( I’m bi, and poly, as cis woman and holy fuck the amount of shit I get for using the feminine pronouns is fucking disgusting. I get it, you’re tired of hetero shit being shoved down your throats, but Jesus fucking Christ not EVERYONE has to identify as a different gender or pronoun just because you do!), I’m especially tired of the US political crap. Wake up and smell the shit. They don’t ACTUALLY give a flying fuck about us. Period. You want change? Why elect someone who’s been in office for 47 years, who’s signed and came up with several bills that put black people in prison OVER PETTY SHIT who chose a VP who gave black men the maximum sentencing for weed, and then KEPT THEM IN JAIL FOR LITERAL SLAVE LABOR. Y’all are ducking playing yourselves to the max. THEY GAVE THEMSELVES A FUCKING PAY RAISE LAST YEAR OF 40K. THEY DONT GOVE A SHIT ABOUT US. You want change? Overthrow the government. Instate a new one. Or don’t. Whatever, it’s a free country, you do you. (For the record since I KNOW someone’s gonna say some shit, I don’t support Biden OR Trump. I don’t support ANY politician. No, not even Bernie.) I’m tired of being miserable in every fucking social media I log in to. I miss seeing the actual wholesome shit that is in no way tied to politics. I miss the stupid funny videos, the weird ass facts, the art, the comics, I miss the GOOD THINGS. I miss when tumblr especially was everyone’s escape from reality. I miss the “cringy “ shit, the superwholock fuckers who’d show up on every post. I miss the night vale references, I miss being able to LIKE things without having to defend them or argue about them (Steven Universe I’m looking at you. That community can be toxic as fuck, y’all bullied an artist to DEATH, WTF IS WRONG WITH YALL?!). I miss LAUGHING. I miss reading some long ass post that would have me literally gasping for air because I was laughing so hard. I don’t want to feel guilty, or disgusted, or ashamed, EVERY TIME I OPEN AN APP. Our stress levels are way past normal AS IT IS, we don’t need to keep adding to it. I know this past year was fucking horrible. It sucked ass. Believe me I fucking know. We all went through it. But we all went through it differently. Some people got to cut out a commute and work from home, still got a paycheck, and we’re generally unaffected. A lot lost their jobs, all income, family members and loved ones. I lost two damn good jobs, got kicked out by my alcoholic mother, and honestly if it weren’t for my uncle I would have killed myself. So is it too much to ask to just be able to fucking laugh again? Is it??

[bohemian-rhapsody-slash]

Thank you so much for writing and sharing this, friend! I love it and I’m so glad you like the concept 😊 your English is perfect too!

WARNING: dark dark verse, brief mentions of forced/abusive relationship

*****

Hi darling! So I'm a person who can't understand how Tumblr works so I tried to send you a small fic inspired by your posts via asks but it's really hard so I had to download the app and sign up and so on. I hope you would like this. I've never written a fictional text in English before.

Ps. I'm the "dash" anon and Russian dolls anon and many asks anon😆😆

***

DDV Second generation

When this student entered the room alongside others, David felt as if he had already seen him somewhere before. He examined the list of the class and his heart missed a beat. "May, Josh Harold", it said. David remembered his visit to Brian and Roger's house and the conversation which still caused him pain. He also remembered a boy who he met there - with a mop of brown curls and big baby blue eyes

During the class he observed the younger man - he must be about 20 or 21 now... and pretty damn smart to get the scolarship - David remembered this old crappy house of May family. It was unlikely that they could afford paying for their son's education.

Memories of what he'd heard in that house, of the photos he'd seen there, reminded him that he is an adult now. And he can try to help his mother. If he knew more about his earlier life, about his career in Queen, about his claim to Freddie that his father proclaimed "fake" and ruined forever... maybe David could find a loophole in law or something. This thought was terrifying because it was definitely gonna be difficult to destroy his parental family. But he would be happy to see his mother free of his rapist.

But David couldn't do any of this without Mays' help. So after the class he asked Josh to delay.

"Mr.Foster

"Don't you remember me, Josh?"

"Sorry... no"

"I visited your parents once. I'm... er... John Deacon's son".

For the first time in his life he referred to himself in such way. He thought that mentioning his father's name would alienate Josh. After all, it was his father who destroyed Brian and Roger's life and eventually their kids' life, too. They would live more wealthy and comfortable life if not for him.

Josh squinted and looked at him.

"I remember your visit, but unfortunately didn't recognize you face. My vision is rather poor, like my mother's, and I didn't have my glasses on. Sorry, Mr..."

"Please call me David" he interrupted. "I need to speak to you. If you have any spare time now, I would like to buy you a lunch and talk to you"

Josh seemed confused but agreed to his offer.

***

Several months later.

David and Josh were sitting next to each other on an old sofa in David's living room. They were looking at old Queen photos. Recently Brian had found an black and white film somewhere in their attic. Josh had two copies of each photo printed - one for his family and one for David.

Surprisingly, the May family had accepted his request and had given him copies of old photos, music records and documents. Some of them were from Freddie's heritage that he left to Brian and Roger in his will. But they thought that, as John's son, David had a right to look at all this.

Unfortunately, David still hadn't found any ways to rescue his mum from his miserable marriage to his father. But he still had hope.

Meanwhile, he just studied the brief history of a band called Queen and enjoyed spending time with Josh. The young man was kind, caring and accepting. David had never met such a non-typical Dom before. Listening to him and watching his attitude to other people, David has understood two things. First, that Josh is everything David's father wanted him NOT to be. He always used to say that such Doms are weak and pathetic, they can't fight to reach their success and they couldn't be loved by anyone. Josh told him that this is how his parents raised him. Gradually, David started to realise that he was wrong. The life of May family wasn't unhappy because of their poverty. Unability to buy luxurious things or to travel abroad didn't make them less kind to each other or love each other less. In fact, they had a lot of things that David and his brothers, born with a silver spoon in their mouths, lacked: like the attention of their father who never threatened to disown them, or family meals with table talks and jokes, or an example of happy marriage of their parents.

And what was the second thing David had realised?

He had realised that his father was wrong (again). Josh was lovable. And he knew it very well, because David was the person who fell in love with Josh.

"You know what my dad said to me yesterday?" whispered Josh. His curls almost touched David's face.

David looked at him inquiringly.

"He said that physically you are Ray Foster's son but, like, in your heart you are Freddie's son" answered Josh. He looked a bit confused and quickly added "I know that it may not sound as a compliment for you. But from my dad it's a real compliment..."

"It is", managed to whisper David. He felt tears in his eyes. He was happy and ashamed at the same time. He was ashamed for being his father's son and also for feeling this. He felt like he betrayed both his mother and father.

"Why are you crying?" he heard. "If I somehow..."

David shook his head. "I-I just hate it" he muttered. "This world. This life. Everything should be different. Good people shouldn't suffer like they do now. And people like me... just shouldn't be born"

He felt Josh hugging him.

"Yes, the world is cruel" softly said Josh. "It's ugly and injust. But we're born to bring some justice into it. I believe in it"

"But how?" asked David trying to stop crying.

"By loving other people. And fighting for what we love".

"Did your parents succeed in their fighting?" bitterly asked David and immediately thought that he might offend Josh by saying so. But he felt that Josh was smiling.

"A bit", he answered.

"Well, my mother lost his battle".

"Not completely", argued Josh. "He has you. A child who is able to ask questions. Who doesn't take this world for granted. Who is willing to change things. Who is capable of love"

David felt tears flowing down his cheeks. He hugged Josh and then kissed him without thinking. He immediately realized what he has done.

"Sorry sorry... I-I'm so sorry Josh... I shouldnt've... Sorry if I offended you"

"You can't offend me with this" said Josh "It's okay. Subs can kiss other subs, so why Doms are forbidden to kiss other Doms? It doesn't mean anything..." he paused and looked into David's eyes. "Unless you want it to mean something".

David didn't know what to say so he just kissed him again very shyly. Josh answered him and the kiss became more passionate.

They kissed for a while, their hands caressed each other's hair and backs but when David dared to slide his hand into Josh's pants, the younger man freezed for a second and whispered

"I think you should know... I've never had sex with another Dom... have you?"

David nodded. He felt sad again. "I-I had... lots of times. When I was at uni". He hid his face on Josh's shoulder. "I think I was kinda... traumatized by my mum's story and felt kinda... guilty or something. Wanted to feel what a sub feels. So I dated Doms and asked them to punish me... to hurt me... humiliate me. Because I always felt it's not enough for me".

Josh kissed his temple. "But it's not what a sub should feel, dear. A sub should feel loved. He should feel care and tenderness. He should feel safe. That's what I learned from my parents".

"I-I know" answered David. "It's just... I'm just broken. I repell you now, don't I? I'm a sick pervert".

He was sure Josh will stand up and leave him and never come back. But Josh kept hugging him.

"You're not sick or broken. You're just lost and misguided. I can be your guide".

[spiffysixxsense]

Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

24

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess. 

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend 

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently 

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette 

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up? 

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus 

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol. 

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US. 

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever. 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin 

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble. 

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol) 

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar. 

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in. 

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream 

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much 

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol) 

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them. 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family. 

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with 

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

4

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers 

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic 

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical. 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't 

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any 

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time. 

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really. 

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

[voracious-pumpkira-starr]

VORE COMMUNITY PSA

False information was spread about me with very little truth. While some is truth, others are either taken from untrustworthy sources or were said by people whom are enemies i made in the past to make me more hated. I dont know if all of you know the post im refering to, i wont link it here but it has been causing me a lot if stress

Now I’m not going to deny some parts of the post because they are factual. But other parts are false. I havent blackmailed people for roleplay, and I dont charge back payments. The charging back of commissioned artwork is only from the artists point of view. And even then its heavily exxagerated. What happened was I spent too much money on porn commissions using a family members credit card on my own paypal, i paid this family member to do this of course bit they didnt know what i was buying. After i spent over $1000 CAD they realized I was spending it on porn and called paypal to charge it back. Paypal charged it back. I tried and tried to get paypal to send the money back but they locked me out of the account and the family member refused to let me send the money to them. Since then I was only able to pay back one artist of many, its not just artists. Paypal took back all payments and I even lost some of my art programs such as Clip studio EX because of this. Ive also lost many mobile apps and more. This caused me a lot of stress and I wasn’t allowed to use a credit card for a long time. Now, You know who. A certain artist who made these claims. Yes I admit I tried to roleplay with them but I will be honest. This is a honest statement from my own mouth. There is many many people in the community who KNOW I’m sumlur and are of age who roleplay with me and I wont name them to keep them same from harassment. Im not innocent but neither are the people like YOU who spread this information. And I will send you this post privately. Yes it is not my place to be in the vore community but because I have it helped with my depression and I learned many things that made me better as a person. I know my mistakes and I understand even when 2021 comes I will be hated in the community or even not let back in at all. But all I’m going to say. Is that yes I was immature and regret a lot of my decisions. But i stopped ban evading and all that long ago. It is now 3 years since this ekas portal drama has started with me, I, because of outdated or false information spread by you and many others have been Doxxed and had my info leaked on 8chan by a user named cloud runner teeny on 12/24/2018. Its been over a year since i was doxxed and I have been struggiling with depression and at multiple times even was suicidal. I nearly killed myself on lean (purple drank). Im not asking for pity because we both know I did aome messed up shit but making a PSA about me and spreading things from your point of view is only half the story. Many people have harassed my social media because of this or even turned me into a laughing stock. So here, if it makes you happy Cham. I’ll make a statement right here right now publically for all to see. If i lose friends for this then whatever it is what it is. It took me a lot of guts and a long time to say this but the stress has gotten to much for me. for the sake of peace I’ll admit to everything Chammy was correct about me ane everything that was false along with some misconceptions about me: so firstly Chammy is right about my age. My birthday is 01/30/2003. I am nearly 17 years old. Chammy is also correct about me asking him for roleplay stuff. However many adults i know who know my age are fine roleplaying with me and I will make this very clear for all of tumblr and the world. Yes I know the underage law and why you think you would be at risk of becoming a sex offender. But hear me out, I’ve actually talked to online lawyers about this and there was never a statement in US Federal law about roleplaying with minors being wrong. The only thing that is bad is if your doing it with malicious intent or send real nudes. As for the age of consent, that is 16 and as far as I know you can legally have sex with anyone within 5 years apart from you as long as its not recorded at that age. So I would assume roleplay would be legal unless its recorded or screenshotted just the same. So yes although it might be risky there is almost a 100% gaurentee your not at risk unless you go bragging about it or the minors parents

Report you. And I don’t have parents, my birth parents abandoned me for a life of crime and my grandparents had custody over me since i was 2 years old. My grandparents know about my vore fetish and although they think its weird they are fine with it to some extent. I can assure you for a fact they won’t report you unless your asking me for literal nudes, which I’d never even give away. Secondly I wanted to bring up the fact I did NOT try to sneak into Cham’s server I was asking if somebody could vouch to let me in so at 18 my friend Andy (WHO KNOWS MY AGE) could vouch for me since he/you closed all invites because of people insulting male predators.

Nextly I want to say this, Chameleonette is not a bad person. They aren’t spreading lies about me on purpose they are only saying what they were told which was spread around by many people who hate me such as aljenserp, AlluringPredation, Reffles, Cloudrunnerteeny, and artists who think i charged back on purpose. Now I also want to bring up the accusations of blackmailing adults who roleplayed with me. This is false, the only adults i ever blackmailed where ones who knew my age and asked for nudes, or were ACTUAL MINORS pretending to be adults which i know for fact.

Now I will admit I exposed some of these friends as minors out of anger and lost friends for this. I regret this so i wont say which ones, But I blackmailed them about exposing their age for some fights in the past.

But I will also admit again I did some stupid shit in the past and I understand the hate I have but its been causing me lots of stress and Harassment on social media. Look cham, if you actually take the time to read this I’m sorry for everything ive done to you and the vore community but I want to say that the adults arent entirely innocent either. I caused these problems by lying about my age, joining ekas, ban evading, manipulating people, and buying art when I shouldnt have. All of it has come back to bite me in the ass. Combined with the stress from real life I couldn’t take things anymore and essentially ruined my life. As of now I dropped out of highschool because the stress was too much and couldn’t work anymore. Now I’m educationless and most likely won’t get a job. For those who are curious in one year and 29 days is when I will be 18. And if any of my friends whom dont know my age read this I want to say I’m sorry for lying. I strongly have issues and am really clingy to people I like so I end up lying to make friends. And i know many people are going to block me for this so in turn I will end up more stressed but its the most mature thing i could think to do. I would love it if nobody blocked me and we just talked like friends and save the vore stuff for when I’m 18, which I do with many of my friends already. As stated before the whole reason i joined ekas in the first place was to join a community i felt like i fit in with after getting depression from losing a friend i really cared about named anatoily

Many times in the past i used anatoily as an excuse for my actions but thats not what im doing. Anatoily if you see this i want to know im sorry for using your name as an excuse for my wrong actions. I originally joined Ekas for that purpose and used that as an excuse, on there i made many friends some of which i have even today. At one point i planned on leaving ekas but then I found somebody who reminded me of anatoily. I had an obsession with them and it led me to well ruin that friendship. Around this time i was exposed underage by Reffles on a minecraft server who had a incorectly dated birth date from a Enjin server about me claiming i was 14 when i was 15 which now i am 16 turning 17 and that link would display 15 turning 16. To explain this I want to say when I made this enjin account I mistyped the age and never bothered fixing it because I rarely used Enjin. I just used it to apply for minecraft admin positions.

I regret many of the things ive done and cant stress this enough that I’m sorry but in all honesty this is the true story of what happened with me and the vore community

In 2017 I joined ekas because my mind didn’t care about the consequences I was upset about anatoily, which isnt an excuse for my actions. I lied about my age and all was fine i was getting away with it. I met the person who reminded me of anatoily in February of 2018 whom helped me grow as an artist. I started working as a artist practicing for when I’m 18. When reffles found me out i was upset and was banned from ekas and the discord Work to Feed. I was upset for many reasons, one even being that i just got the first person ever to commission me and even today was never able to do the art or send it to them making me feel like a thief

So a lot of ban evading and ruined friendships later some problems happened with me and a friend named Aljenserp who like me was a minor. I was watching one of Silent_E’s streams and got banned because Tyrion13 recognized me. I betrayed Aljenserp like an asshole saying he was underage (i dont think he is underage anymore but he was at the time this happened) because he was a staff nobody believed me and i was banned from the stream and lost all trust aljenserp had in me. He became my enemy. Now after this a lot of people started hating me more and more, there was some drama on 8chan about me which i posted on being some idiot as i was younger and didnt know what i was doing.

This caused many people to not even feel any pity for me thinking i was stupid and deserved what i got. This was shortly before the problem happened with paypal. After that i was hated immensely more and many people startee saying some stupid rumors about me

One really dumb one was from the ekas user ExplosiveWaifu who has a Dragon OC named Lydia. Goes by DragonWaifu on discord. In one instance i was talking to Lydia about how one of my friends was a Maoist communist and his beliefs and how i support him because he is my friend. She believed because he had communist beliefs and i supported him that i was a terrorist and ceased all Communication with me for this. Another false rumor about me was spreaded by a friend of Explosivewaifu who i cant name as they are always changing their name. she is a trans woman, me and her used to talk a lot and whenever she got drunk she would well... be really irl lewd with me so i started calling her a pedophille (which is where the blackmail stuff ties in partially though i didnt blackmail her it was somebody else)

Many times this friend while sober would claim that i act to mature and that I couldnt be a minor, thus a rumor spread around that inwas a adult pretending to be a minor to get kicked out of the community for purposfully causing drama to make people think im a believable minor so i could easily prey on minors like a pedophille... honestly this is a really dumb rumor and dunno why it was believed by anybody at all

Next I want to talk about the ID theft accusations. Mettra Tonic gave me a health band from the hospital which in July of 2018 i tried to use as a ID to get me unbanned and it failed, this led to trust issues with Mettra who also spread false information about me which is mostly well known for the accusations of blackmail against her friends who were minors. There was another ID issue with a man named worthylightning and Kobayashi whom I tried to. Let them both help me get unbanned because friendship. It didnt work and i felt bad.

Lastly the only true case of ID theft is the one with reffles. Reffles gave somebody her ID who gave me the ID and I cropped out the age part of her ID and tried to use it. I since regret this action but i wouldnt concider the age part alone to be ID theft.

There was also accusations that I steal artwork which i dont own which is false. All artwork of Pumpkira is owned by me, either drawn by me, won in a raffle, requested, or given to me as a gift.

Moving on later in the year CloudRunnerTeeny doxxed me and made a group on discord called the Sumlur eradication squad where he blackmailed me and threatened to leak my info (which he did on christmas onto 8chan before it was taken down for breaking ToS) me and my friend tried to mislead him do he wouldnt Dox me and dox a fake person but this failed, made things worse infact. After that me and teeny came to a truce to leave eachother alone if i stay away from him and his friends. A promise I Semi-kept to today.

I already explained the whole issue with the art charged back, false rumors, and blackmail.

But I want to say this. Please stop sending information that is outdated or just speculation about me. Hear both sides of the story.

And yes when I turn 18 in 2021 I know I’ll still be hated and I have come to terms and accept that is my punishment for my mistakes. But please stop sending drama my way as I am very tempted to just delete all my social media at this point. Its gotten really stressful and I just cant...

Also Chammy again you aren’t a bad person i dont blame you for my hate as Its deserved. Although some of your claims were wrong or from your point of view, others were true and It is good you made a statement about me. But please tell people not to harass me and just block me. I’m going to make this post Private for a while before making it public. I want you to read this before it goes public on my Tumblr.

Lastly I heard you were feeling sick and hope you get better.

From artist to artist I have been improving my art and stories which like you one thing i hope for when im 18 is to be a successful artist or writer. Im already planning a large scale SFW webcomic as many people know. Though I feel like it is going to have a negative impact because Pumpkira is the protagonist and i gaurentee at least one person from the vore community would expost past me to everyone who reads future me’s work

Anyways thats all.

Update 2020: now 17

Update: 2021 now 18 as of January 30th 2021

[wickednerdery]

Title: A Dance with Death Author: @wickednerdery Fandom: The Night Manager Pairing/character: Jonathan Pine/Female Assassin Rating: Teen Summary: “You have five questions.” Notes: Death is not her name nor is she meant to be Death literally. The masterlist is here. This one only took me forever, right? Well, better late than never, I suppose. Bless whoever still actually reads this, LOL!! It picks up a few weeks, maybe a month, after the last and is, surprisingly, pretty tame really...there’s a bit of mature discussions happening, but otherwise not much honestly..consistency dictates a “Read More” though.

“Why here?” Pine asks, eyes warily scanning the café for answers as much as threats. He expected her to trick him into a murder, his own or another’s. He expected her to simply not show, have it all be a laugh at his expense, but as ever Death delivers him what he least expects: herself.

Sitting at a small table with cup of coffee and two biscuits; ruby lips lift, curl, but teeth remain politely hidden. “I like it here.” Simple, straightforward, and utterly confusing to Jonathan. “Isn’t that what people do? Share things they like with one another?” The smile leaves. “Sit.”

If he didn’t know any better, he’d think her offended. But she doesn’t get offended. She doesn’t get hurt beyond the physical. She doesn’t care enough to. ...He sits. “Why do you like it?”

“Fond memories.”

“Meaning?”

She smiles softly, goes to sip. “When I first started, I used to come here after each success.” The sip is taken, cup set down. “I’ve always been successful.”

Pine reads between the lines. “But you don’t come here anymore.”

“It’s not as safe.”

“You’re known.”

Death’s only reply is a smile as she takes a biscuit, pushes the other in his direction. “Don’t worry, it’s not poisoned.” Seeing his hesitation alone makes her giggle. “I need you very much alive and conscious for what I have planned next.”

“Which is?”

“Eat the fucking cookie, Pine.”

His smile is in remembering Angela’s similar order years ago; his obedience is same as before, an attempt to placate. “What have you planned?”

She rests back, sipping coffee. “You have five questions.” Smiles. “I’ll be honest.” Smirks. “Don’t get too smart.”

Impulse to ask for clarification is swallowed in case she declares it one of five; he runs through his options. “Tell me about the scar on your stomach.”

“That’s not a question.”

“How did you get it?”

“Another girl thought I was pregnant by her boyfriend so she tried to gut me.” 


“How old were you?”

“16...maybe 15...” It’s so hard to remember anymore.

“Were you?”

“Not by him.” The reply oozes dark amusement, but Pine only senses a strange sense of loss.

“You have children?”

“No.” The sharp tone causes Jonathan to stop a moment, then he opens his mouth again and she cuts him off. “You have one more question.”

He knows better than to argue. “Why me?”

Death smiles wide in her usual, tauntingly playful, way. “Roeper.”

Pine stares displeasure at the subpar answer, but doesn’t ask her to clarify.

She throws him a proverbial bone. “When I heard his little empire fell I thought, surely, it would be at the hands of those Jason Bourne or James Bond types. You know, the typical George Smiley super spy, chessmaster, with all the latest gadgets.” The giggle’s short, she leans towards him. “Then I hear it’s some hotel manager with little more than a few apps on a spare mobile phone. I was impressed...intrigued.”

“This is all some sort of...courting to you?” Tone vacillates between confusion and irritation.

“I’m sorry, the Q and A portion of this meeting is over.” She slips from the booth, looks down so softly it unnerves. “It’s my turn.”

He feels like prey, swallows hard.

“Get up.”

He does, stays perfectly still as she takes his hand.

“Dance with me.”

“I...” he’s pulled from tables, hands placed where she wants them on her body. “This isn’t a place for dancing.”

“It is if you dance.”

There’s no music, Death sways to the song in her head. She hums it softly, leads Jonathan into it through her body, and soon they move as one. This close, without the mess of sweat and blood and sex, he realizes she smells more like gunpowder and chocolate. He’s never considered the mix, yet breathes it in like an intoxicant.

Her hand slides to his hip, then around, up to cling as if trying to attach to him. Not a predator, but a parasite. Trying to become a person by feeding off his humanity. When he moves their hands to his heart she feels the fast, steady, pace with a faint smile. His heart betrays his steady hands and sure footing.

“You’re good at this.” It’s a hot breath against her cheek.

“Dancing?”

“Pretending.”

Right, so a rather short piece, but that’s all they had to say about this encounter, haha! Given what they’re saying about the next one, the following piece may be longer. Somehow - while they still wanna shag the hell outta each other - they’ve moved beyond strictly sex into...whatever the hell this is gonna be, haha! On the plus, expected events can be fun and throw gasoline on the creative fire!! :D  (George Smiley is another John le Carré spy character - I don’t know myself if Death’s referring to him as if he were real or a character.) Thanks to whoever was patient and still interested enough to read this, LOL!!

(Gif found from Google!)

Tagging Who Might Care/Asked to be tagged in ALL the Tom fics: @sleepless-nights-with-your-king @chibiyanai, @my-world-of-imagines @lokilvrr @rizzo87 @tarithenurse @creedslove​ @wadeyouwitch @annievvv7 @cassadius @lady-crowned-with-stars @moonfaery @wintertink @holykryptonitekitten @musiclovertjeever @ultrarebelheart @lukeevansandjdmobession …If I forgot anyone, I’m sorry, I really need to make a tags masterlist or something, lol! (Strike-throughs are those Tumblr wouldn’t allow proper tagging of.)

[zealtostudy]

There is a ton of advice out there related to studying. As a student who spends more time reading these study tips/advice than actually studying I have found out some very common advice that is very popular and doesn’t work for me. 

In this post, I will talk about the advice that doesn’t work for me and also the reasons why. 

Note: Do not be offended by what I talk about in this post. I am just sharing my opinion on some of the popular study advice. And if I mention something that works for you, great but please do not spread hate or anything of that sort. Also, do keep in mind that I am hating on people who do this.

1. Sit in the front of the class

So many swear by this advice right? How it helps them to focus better in class and is also a reason behind their good grades. Not for me. Sitting in front of my class seems to have the opposite impact on me. I am focusing but not on what the teacher is saying (oh no) but that the whole class is sitting behind me and if I move just a little they will hate me. (Yeah that is my anxiety)

This sounds so silly, right? But what can I say... Instead, I prefer to sit in the middle benches. Or if possible on the last benches but I can’t because of my height. 

Anyways, moving on. 

2. Taking pretty notes 

A lot of visual learners like to do this and recommend it. But as a more of a visual learner, I disagree with this. Whenever I have tried taking pretty notes I always end up remembering little of what I wrote down. Because my mind is more focused on changing pens, writing neatly and making overall aesthetic notes instead of focusing on what I am studying. 

On the other hand, when I am writing down with one pen with no extra efforts into my understandable handwriting I am able to remember most of the things I write down.   

3. Sleeping 

Now I know that sleep is very important for all of us and to function properly every day. But whenever I will search through exam tips (especially for one day before the exam) I always find sleeping is always mentioned there. Now don’t get me wrong I think that one night before the exam you should rest your mind properly. But sometimes (or I guess a lot of times) I leave some (lol, some)  things to study before the night of the exam. And if I go with the advice of sleeping one day before the exam I will be blank. 

What is the point of resting an empty mind anyways? 

Side note: I am not promoting ‘no sleep��� culture here. I am just talking about a scenario that I myself have faced many times. And I do know that sleeping is important for your health. 

4. Taking notes of everything you read

I see a lot of people do this or I guess I am the only who doesn’t? 

Personally, for me, I don’t like taking notes for everything I read. Especially for Biology class. I only study from my textbook. I find the textbook and a reference book along with that is quite helpful. 

Ok maybe the truth is that my exams are in February I have like 20+ chapters to study for and there is a lot of studying I have to do. If I made detailed notes (that are helpful) of every chapter I might not be able to complete them in time and procrastinate more so I will just annotate my book properly and read from it. 

What am I doing with my life again? 

5. Using a timer 

Ah, there was a time when it was useful for me actually. But now in Year 11 a lot of things have changed for me. And using a timer to study doesn’t work for me anymore. I used to be a big fan of Forest app and many such timer apps but now they are just lying on my phone somewhere in a folder titled ‘productivity’. 

Using a timer actually sometimes panics me while studying. I will be like has it been 1 hour already? Is it working properly? Omg, I only studied a paragraph in this 1 hour? 

So yeah...

6. Asking question to the teacher in class

I sometimes think that I am the only one who seems to be struggling from this actually. Scrolling through Tumblr I will find a lot of posts saying ask teachers questions, ask them to explain concepts that you don’t understand. 

I would rather not, thank you. Now let me tell you the reason why- Anxiety. I would not like to explain it further. Thank you. 

Moving on. 

7. Stop Procrastinating 

Yes, honey, I know that I am procrastinating right now and that is why I am scrolling through study tips on Tumblr. Stop letting me know what I already know. 

Ok being real for a second some posts that have ‘stop procrastinating’ kinda you sometimes irk me. I don’t know why. 

8. Believe in Yourself 

Now, this is a great thing to do but I think this is overrated. How can you believe in yourself on the day of the exam when the night before even on pulling an all-nighter you ended up looking at memes instead of studying. 

As of now, these are some of the only study tips I wanted to rant about. Also, there are so many tips besides them that are so helpful. I am not trying to spread any kind of hate by dissing these tips I am just stating my opinion. 

Thanks for reading! (through my boring rants)

[polyamorouspixie]

The term “poly” is bad why not just use polyam

Funny, I was just going to make a blog post about this actually! I literally came to sit down and write it and found this message.

Now, I do think it’s very important to be aware of the way you use language and the impact it has. For example, I try to make my blog trans friendly, including non-binary (and if I do mess up because I’ve had three decades in this binary-obsessed culture and sometimes I don’t notice, feel free to pull me up on it), not equating gender with genitals, and not referring to two genders, opposite gender,or anything along those lines, because it’s important. I’ve made an effort to use the word “bananas” more in place of ableist words because actually it’s kind of gross to be ableist, you know?

And sometimes you find out a thing is racist and even though you thought it was harmless, you should stop saying it. 

But it isn’t good to just accept everything you’re told without investigation. For example, there have been cases where well meaning non-Muslims have said things like “please can you not put a dog in that advert, dogs are offensive to Muslims”, and then a whole load of Muslims have been put in a position of having to say that they’re not offended by the existence of dogs, they just may not want to touch them, and could people stop making out that Muslims are super sensitive and need to be specially catered to all the time, because the racists love that and it isn’t true, and then there’s a load of newspaper articles about how Muslims are stopping white people doing ANYTHING now and it just increases racism and it’s all lies.

I did a little investigation and I think that a similar thing may be happening here with well-meaning white people. I assume, and correct me if I’m wrong, anon, but the issue is that poly can also be used as shorthand for Polynesian, and that by using it as short for polyamorous then you are somehow preventing Polynesian people from... this is where I’m unsure and please, again, do give me more information on this, am I stopping Polynesian people from celebrating their culture online? And connecting with other Polynesians? (I once was told by another Tumblr user I was preventing Polynesians from having a safe space, so I’m going to work from that)

Working off this assumption I did a Google search using only the term “poly”. Google offers as additional questions that people have asked when just searching “poly” has failed them, and some of those relate to “poly relationships” (and others maths), but for the actual results: the first result is a basic description; it’s Greek for “many”. The second result references Polynesians. Then, we have polymers, poly- as a prefix again, polygon, polytechnic, an app for making 3D models, a Chinese business group, a pretend currency called Polymath, a Cornish arts charity, a site that sells prom dresses; some of these things multiple times. Finally on page 5 is a single reference to polyamory. 

My point being that certainly polyamorous people do not have a monopoly (ha!) on the prefix poly. It has a great number of meanings, most of which pre-date polyamory, and are far more widely used. And yet I’ve still managed to connect with other polyamorous people online, by using the full term “polyamorous”. I rarely find myself talking to someone about my relationship and find that whoops! They’re talking about plastics!

If you Google “Polynesian”, you get roughly 201,000,000 results. The first few pages are definitely about Polynesian people, places, and culture. I can only assume the rest is too. Polyamory doesn’t seem to be mentioned.

An additional factor is that Polynesians, although I’m sure many speak English (for example in Hawaii English and Pidgin are very common), many speak as first languages Samoan, or Maori, or about thirty more different languages. Samoan is one of the most common ones, and their word for Polynesian is “Polenisia”. Searching for this word brings up many pages that are about Polynesia in some way, though I don’t read Samoan so I could not tell you exactly what. The Rock doesn’t refer to his heritage as Polynesian, he refers to it as Samoan; I can only assume that is common, and there lies many more words which Polynesian people can use to find safe spaces online, not to mention a lack of specialness for the word poly.

Although Samoan uses the clearly influenced word Polenisia, the Maori people of New Zealand (who are also Polynesian) use the word Kiwa. It seems to me that as many of the search results for Polynesian are travel agents, that both Polenisia and Kiwa would be more useful terms; not to mention the many other native languages. 

The English word for Polynesia was first coined in 1756. The prefix poly- I can’t find such a precise date for, but one assumes dates back to before 500 BC when the ancient Greeks developed their language, and has been used since then in medicine, science, and any time someone wants to feel important by referencing Ancient Greece--such as in Polynesia itself which means ”many islands”. Poly as shorthand for many (ha!) other words pre-dates the word Polynesian by thousands of years. It’s a common useful word, it was long used by a tremendous number of people before it was ever applied to a group of islands in the Pacific Ocean. Trying to bring its usage to only one of those uses seems like an unwinnable task. 

I know that some people reading this aren’t going to be fully convinced; they think it should belong to Polynesian people. Here’s the thing: I’m not taking the word Polynesian from anyone. Certainly I wouldn’t want to re-use Polynesian to mean anything else. If it became known that the word Polynesian was problematic; I would, on the rare occasion I used it, use the preferred word as chosen by Pacific Islanders. I do sometimes wonder if, because it is a colonial word, if they would prefer something else, but it’s not for me to tell those people that their own description of themselves is problematic! The word “poly” isn’t sacred or special to Polynesian people, though it is less syllables (hence why it gets used as shorthand for so many things). It isn’t an offensive term--for example if people started using “eskimo” to mean something else, I’d be quite cross, as many of the people it’s used to refer to find it an offensive term. You start using slurs, you start throwing about sacred or important terms from other cultures--I’m going to tell you to stop it. Those are oppressive things to do.  Neither Poly nor Polynesian fall under these categories. Using colonial terms can be considered oppression, too, but it’s up to the group themselves to decide how they feel about that, and though I have looked I’ve yet to find any issue with Polynesians being referred to as such. 

I’m sure I’ll get some backlash from this, but I hope most people reading it have learned a little about Polynesian culture! M’s brother lives in New Zealand and has a lot of experience with Maori culture (did you know Maoris want everyone, Maori or not, to learn Maori in New Zealand schools? Did you know white politicians commonly use Maori words in speeches?), which I’ve found very interesting to hear about, and V lived in Hawaii as a child, and A studied there as an adult, and I’ve learned a little from them too (did you know Hawaiians LOVE Lilo and Stitch because it’s set there? They also taught me a little Pidgin which sadly I’ve mostly forgotten). Moari and Hawaiian are VERY different cultures, but both worth learning about. If anyone has any resources for learning about Polynesian cultures, please let me know, and I will happily share them on my blog!

If you want to send me any articles about how using the word “poly” is in fact oppression, that’s absolutely fine, all I ask is that the article is written by or at the bare minimum quotes at least one Polynesian. 

If you’re going to send me asks asking why can’t I use polyam or polya just in case 1) let’s go back to the “please stop encouraging racists to write articles about how non-whites are So Sensitive and we can’t do anything at all without offending them” particularly when those people of colour have not asked you to do anything of the sort 2) poly is established within the polyamorous community as a shorthand 3) polyam and polya are a horrible mouthful and awkward to type and 4) I don’t want to get into a “who is the most progressive” pissing contest that doesn’t benefit oppressed people in the slightest, and I don’t want to be mean, but some of you are doing that and going around being rude to people for no reason as well.

And because this is quite long let’s have a TLDR: 

“Poly” is neither offensive nor sacred or special to the people of Polynesia and that means it is not oppression to use it for other contexts. The word Polynesian remains exclusive to those people, as do the words such as Maori, Hawaiian, Samoan and Tahitan which refer to the cultures within the umbrella term Polynesian.

[financenfreelance]

Freelance Jobs You Can Easily Do on Your Phone 💜

What skills can you use to make a legit income freelancing on your phone?  Well listen up, dear reader, because I have the tea on making money on mobile devices. Let’s start this article on Freelance Jobs you can do on your phone!

Are you a freelance beginner wondering if you can work as a freelancer with JUST a smartphone?

I can’t even blame you for being curious.

Freelancers are self-employed, independent bad asses.

I know when I started, I was looking for every and any way to get started. And compared to the 9-5 struggle, freelancing is a dream.

Make money with your smartphone

There are so many advantages to freelancing, such as:

Flexible work hours. Forget waking up at 8am.  Wake up at 1pm, have a mountain dew, and get cracking at your own time.

Say yes or no to whomever you please. Are you tired of dealing with Susan’s continual BS but can’t get away? There are no Susan’s to deal with in freelance work, because you choose who you work with.

Control how much you get paid. You can charge people for trying to rush you. Increase your prices if the work is tougher. You are in total control.

You provide a service to others based on their skills. They don’t have to deal with bosses when it comes to their projects.

Freelancing is also fantastic for side hustlers who want to earn a part time income.

It can be done from anywhere, so those who work from home or dream to work in Starbucks can do so if they please.

But let’s get back to the point. You’re probably wondering:

Can I work as freelancer from a smartphone?

The short answer: yep.

Your phone is basically full-fledged computer.  With built-in tools like internet access, text processing, and access to millions of free and paid apps, there is no reason that you can’t do freelance work from your phone. That’s right. Make money with your smartphone.

Let’s not forget that you also the ability to easily communicate with clients.  You have 24/7 access to clients through phone call, video, text, or email. Disadvantages of Freelancing on Your Smartphone

But it would be just plain irresponsible for me to not let you know the disadvantages ahead of time so that you’re prepared.

Some disadvantages include:

Your phone screen is quite tiny compared to a laptop or desktop monitor. This can be a huge pain. That is especially the case or jobs that require more screen space or having multiple programs and windows open.

Your phone also simply doesn’t have the same processing power as a desktop or laptop.

Some software is a lot harder to work in on the mobile app version

Mobile can glitch and overheat a lot easier than traditional computers

The battery life of smartphones is not as good as laptop computers, and sometimes having to stop to charge will be a huge disadvantage in time crunch situations

Still, with that being said, I would not try to discourage someone who is trying to become a freelancer and doesn’t have the resources yet to purchase a computer. For more info on getting yourself together, check out How to Stay Organized as a Freelance Beginner

If you have a phone, you have enough to get started. And if you’re a freelance beginner, be sure to check out The Ultimate Freelance Guide for Beginners for info on how to get started with freelancing.

What freelance jobs can you do on your phone?

It’s easier now than ever to just simply work from your phone, depending on the type of services you wish to offer.

Social Media Manager

Virtual Assistant

Photographer / Videographer

Writer / Proofreader

Customer Support Rep

Secondary Researcher

Editor

1.  Social Media Manager

This seems like a natural place to start. One of the best freelance jobs to handle solely on your phone is a social media manager.

As a social media manager, you would be responsible for helping your client manage their online presence.  This would include posting, managing pages, improve content and engagement, and the like.  You would also be interacting with customers and members.

Don’t forget, your client’s main objective will probably be to grow their following and increase their reach.

Ultimately, if you have excellent communication skills, and know about trends, hashtags, and follows this could be great for you!

Apps you might use for this job

Facebook

Twitter

Instagram

Snapchat

YouTube

Pinterest

Tumblr

Discord

Google Sheets, Slides and Docs

Management platforms like Tailwind, Planoly, Buffer, and Hootsuite

2. Virtual Assistant

So, what does a virtual assistant do?

In short, they pretty much do what regular assistants do. As one, you are going to be perform a variety of tasks that a client will need done, like making appointments or calls, sending emails, and creating reports.

You’ll be providing administrative services to your clients.

If you are good at following instructions and can also think on your feet, this can be a great job for you! If you have past customer service experience, it’ll be even better!

Because of unique specialties, tasks, and niches, this could be one of the highest paying jobs you can do freelancing if you work it out properly.

Apps you might use for this job

Google Sheets, Slides and Docs

Microsoft Office

Quip

Microsoft To Do

Calendars

Plus, anything niche related for your clients.

3. Photography and Videography

This choice will require you to get creative. Literally.

But with how amazing the camera specs are on phones these days; it is increasingly easy to create beautiful photos and videos from your phone.

Capture photos for your clients of needed people, places, and things. Those who are very detail-oriented and have a keen eye would be great for this freelancing profession.

Important: Make sure you are used to and okay with critique of your artwork.

If you have a decent lighting method, knowledge of and an eye for composition, and a will, you can definitely make legit money creating freelance photography for clients.

Apps you might use for this job

Camera App on your phone

Adobe Lightroom CC

Instagram

Dropbox

VSCO

Snapseed

Mextures

TouchRetouch

Afterlight 2

4. Writer or Proofreader

Freelance writing has exploded over the years and for good reason.  People are reading tweets, articles, books, ads, and everything under the sun.  Everything the light touches was written by somebody… so why not you?

So, if you enjoy writing, the demand is exceptional, and the time is now.  Overall, this can be perfect for you if you’re willing to put in the work.

There are also so many specialties to go into!

Article Writer

Content writer

Copywriting

eBook Ghostwriter

Editor

Niche writer

Proofreader

Social Media writer

….and so many more!

Apps you might use for this job

Google Docs

Microsoft Office

Grammarly

Dropbox

Evernote

Trello

Gmail

5. Customer Service

Freelancer Describes Customer Support jobs perfectly on their site:

“Customer Support refers to the services offered to customers before or after they buy products or services. Customer Support can refer to contacting the support centers of a business by phone, fax, email or live chat system. Then the customer support agents help the customer with a technical problem or general query by pointing him or her to the appropriate help pages or resources. “

Overall, to be a good candidate, you should be good at typing, research, and communication with others.  Also, you will need a lot of patience to be successful, as this job can get stressful. With all of this being said, it can still be a great way to make money with your smartphone.

Apps you might use for this job

Phone App Software

Gmail

Outlook

Microsoft Office

Grammarly

6. Secondary Researcher

Some companies cannot put in the time to do their own research.  That is where you come in.

As a secondary researcher, you can perform market research, competitor research, review statistics, or analyze trends.

So, this choice would be great for someone who is very organized, analytical minded, and curious. If you love to read and are you competent at putting together reports of your findings, then a secondary researcher job may be for you!

Apps you might use for this job

Google Docs

Microsoft Office

Instapaper

Grammarly

Dropbox

Evernote

Trello

Gmail

Recommended Article: Freelancing Tips For Beginners: What I Learned My First Year

7. Editor / Proofreader

Do typos, grammatical errors, and subject-verb disagreements bother you to no end?

If so… I’m surprised that you’ve made it this far in my article and I’m so sorry for mistakes that may have offended you.

But still, as I’ve said above, written content is on the rise.  And nothing is perfect on the first, second, and in my case, third written draft.

Still, you can earn legit coin if you have a critical eye and skills in proofreading. All of this being said, this can be a great freelance job you can do on your phone.

Apps you might use for this job

Google Docs

Microsoft Office

Instapaper

Grammarly

Dropbox

Evernote

Trello

Gmail

Read my story on why I started freelancing and how I went from broke to $1000 a week.

More Posts on Freelance Success

Freelance Skills You Can Learn in a Week

Freelancing Tips For Beginners: What I Learned My First Year

How to Set Goals for Your Freelancing Business

How to Stand Out as A New Freelancer

6 Tough Lessons Learned From Freelancing For 6 Years

Advice For Freelance Beginners

How To Start Freelancing for Beginners (2021)

How to Start Freelancing While Working Full Time (2021 Guide)

Best Paying Freelance Jobs to Start Now (2021)

Freelance Jobs You Can Easily Do on Your Phone

How to Stay Organized as a Freelance Beginner

Mistakes You’re Making on Your Freelance Portfolio

Quick Guide to Setting Freelance Goals in 2021

The Ultimate Freelance Guide for Beginners

[p-redux]

PART 1 and Preface--THE BARBIE WARS

Disclaimer: This is part 1 of an 11 part series entitled “The Barbie Wars,” a term used to describe the few weeks at the end of 2014 when actresses Amy Shiels and Cody Kennedy engaged in a cyber catfight over Sam Heughan. This is meant to be lighthearted and all in jest. No disrespect to any parties is meant. If you think this may offend you, stop reading now, and please go find a sense of humor. :-) . The reason I’m doing this series is because MANY people have messaged me asking me to do it, so I finally acquiesced. Some people who were around in 2014 wanted to reminisce, and others who weren’t around then wanted to see what really happened. Since Tumblr only allows 10 pictures per post, and I had a TON of screencaps, I’ve had to break it down into 11 parts. So, get in your pink Barbie mobiles, buckle up, and let’s take a ride down memory lane!

PREFACE: SAM and AMY

Background info: Sam and Amy met in 2002-2003 when they starred together in a film called “Young Alexander.” They were 22 and 23 at the time. I know there’s some confusion as to  1. Amy’s age, and 2. when the film was actually shot. This is because there is a bio that incorrectly states that Amy was born in 1991. That’s wrong, she was born in 1981. And “Young Alexander” was actually filmed in 2003, but was not released until almost a decade later. That’s why another costar, Paul Telfer, jokingly refers to the movie as “Young Alexander The Unreleasable.”👇

After Amy got bashed for her relationship with Sam by unhappy Outlander fans, she did a Tweet delete sweep, and deleted ALL of her old Tweets (there’s an app that does that), but I have some screencaps saved. Below are some examples showing that after Sam and Amy finished filming “Young Alexander,”Sam and Amy remained friends, and it seems more than friends.👇

Below are more Tweets showing Sam and Amy’s FWB-Friends With Benefits flirty banter👇

As you can see from the examples above☝ Sam and Amy  continued a flirty relationship from 2003 to 2013, when Sam got his big break playing Jamie Fraser in Outlander.

We’re off to a slow start because of Tumblr pic posting restrictions, but up next in Part 2, I’ll show how Amy was excited to go with Sam to the Outlander Season 1 premiere, which took place in NYC at the end of July 2014. Don’t worry, The Barbie Wars will commence soon enough, and then nothing will be slow. Part 2 coming right up! Buckle up, bitches!

Part 1 of 11

[nesthemonster]

MANGOES (1/2)

PAIR: LIN x READER

AN: Hiii beautiful peeps! how are you? So, this is something I’ve been thinking about for a while but, as I’m not as half as talented as the people here plus being English my second language, I’ve always been pretty scared to write this. However in the last few days it became almost painful thinking about this story and not putting it on (digital) paper. So here it is the first part. Leave a feedback, if you want. Of any kind.

Before leaving you with the story, I’d like to thank the people I talk to here on tumblr and other social media: YOU ROCK GUYS! (and sorry if sometimes I bother you too much or get overexcited) (you know who you are)

WARNINGS: few curses (sorry), mention of period (I don’t think it’s too harmful but someone could be grossed out)

WORDS: 3072 (I’M SO SORRY)

here you are ‘Mangoes’ *plays trumpet*

You suddenly realized you were bouncing your legs and the ‘click-click’ of the heels could be heard in the whole airport.

You didn’t know why you were anxious.

Well, you knew.

But you hadn’t yet realized you were THAT anxious.

You rubbed your hands on your face.

You weren’t ready to face whatever was waiting for you behind that gate.

You hadn’t seen him in a week and, although you were over the moon when he told you he was going to bring Luz as his date to the Oscars, for both emotional and logistic reasons, you were regretting your choice: you needed to be with him.

To support him.

“Or to have his support?” You told yourself with a low voice.

The news caught you off-guard: you never said it out loud, but you were sure he was going to win.

To make everything worse? Paul, Benji and Justin were the nicest guys ever and you really enjoyed their work, but the love of your life was… The love of your life.

You weren’t worried about all that Egot, pegot, pigeon, how-you-wanna-call-it stuff. You were worried about all the preassure he received, you were worried about the future interviews, you were worried about the side effects of this loss on the creative process of the man you loved.

Deep in your mind you knew you were over-reacting but let’s face it: he had quite a ego and things like this could trigger in his mind trails of not-so-optimistic thoughts. You simply didn’t want him to build a fortress around his persona.

You’ve talked to him on phone in the past few days and even faced-time him: he seemed sad and upset, but it was something barely percepible. He said: ‘I have never thought I had a chance of winning. I was just thrilled to be there and to introduce Auli'i.’ On the other side of the emotions spectrum, Luis was furious and more than once he was stopped from publishing not so nice comments on twitter. Luz called you the evening after the ceremony and said she caught her mother sniffling on the balcony of the hotel room.

You knew what was happening: they were sad because they imagined he was sad, he was keeping all the emotions trapped in his chest to not worry them. He was usual to act like that until he reached the breaking point, which consisted in writing a heart-wrenching song or a fight between the two of you over 'why the arabic coffee blend wasn’t as good as the brazilian’ or similar silly things.

But this time it felt different.

It was different.

This time you’ll have to be the 'glue’ to keep him together, a thing that he did for you during the hormones or job-related freaking out moments.

But were you ready?

You didn’t know. You didn’t know how to get ready. You didn’t know anything except that his flight has just landed, as the board suggested.

You checked the time on your phone just to be blocked be the sight of your lockscreen. It was one of your favorite photos: he was napping on the bed, surrounded by 'his girls’: the twins only few months old at his sides and your dog at his feet. You came back from the kitchen with two bottles of warm milk just to find that heart-melting view. You snapped the pic quickly before waking them up.

'Lin, wake up.’ You tried to call him.

He had developed this strange habit during your honeymoon (which happened almost a year ago): as he was hot, he slept wrapped around your body with his head on your chest. You couldn’t complain as it was January, in Iceland.  But NY in September was surely hotter.

'Lin, sweetheart, you have to wake up.’ You repeated raising your voice a little.

'Don’t call me sweetheart.’ He mumbled in your skin.

'Ah ah, you are awake.’ You said poking at his head.

'Why did I marry such a smart woman that makes me appear so stupid?-he placed a kiss on your skin before turning his face towards you with a loving gaze- Oh, now I remember.’ He smiled.

'Don’t even try to compliment my beauty in order to stay in bed.’

'But it’s Sunday. And I’m on a very soft and warm spot I’d like not to leave.’ He smirked winking in your direction.

'Are you implying I’ve gained weight?!’ You tried to fake rage.

'Just in the right spots.’ He said.

'WHAT?!’ Now you were a little offended. You pushed him away and tried to leave the bed.

'Ehii. Don’t be mad at me! You are the one that explained me why women gain weight during period.-he stopped you on the side of the bed- And as I was saying, only- he kissed a spot on your shoulder-in- another kiss- the-kiss- right- kiss- places.’

'That doesn’t change my feelings.’ You replied sitting on the bed, checking the phone while he put his chin on your shoulder. 'Moreover I’m not on my period.’

'Yes, you are.’ He said.

'No, I’m not. Trust me, it’s difficult to not notice if you are bleeding.’ You snapped back.

You felt him streaching to reach his phone on the conforter.

'Yes, your period should have started 5 days ago.’ He said checking something on the screen.

'Please, tell me you don’t have a period app.’ You said trying to hide your laugh.

'If your wife turns into a angry and hungry, fire- spitting.. - you turned to watch him with revengeful eyes and he noticed- but super smart and beautiful dragon, you’d have done the same.’ He smiled.

'Well, your app is wrong… Not in the calculation (you mentally checked if 28 days has passed). But I’m not on my period right now. Although it’s very strange: I’m a Swiss clock!’ You said a little worried.

'Y/N, you have done crazy shifts at work this past week!’

'Yes, you could be right. It has to be the stress.’ You said putting your socks on.

'Absolutely! And you know which is the best remedy?’ He dragged you back on a lying position.

'Lin-Manuel Miranda, don’t even try. You have planned this brunch with our parents- you said getting up and heading towards the bathroom- So, you and that cute little ass of yours have to leave the bed. Or we’ll be late.’

'Hey! My butt is cute but it ain’t “little”!’ He replied lying on the side and pointing towards it.

You laughed and before entering the bathroom, you stood in front of the mirror.

'Did I really put on so much?’ You said with a defeated look.

'Man, I shouldn’t have never said it! - he facepalmed himself- or at least I should have put it in a better way. What I meant, you know, … It’s… Like… God, that’s embarassing…’

You turned to face him. 'Lin, I married you. And trust me, your 'emarassing-things-i’ve-done’ list is well know to me. Spit it.’

'Let’s say that your “side A” has … How can i … “Improved”.. Yes, that’s the word!’ He was stummering and blushing. He was simply the cutest.

'Whut?’ You giggled.

'In the last ten days, some outfits you wore were like.. Seriously mind blowing..’ He continued moving his hands as to show an explosion.

And you could recall few times he complimented you more than usual before leaving the house in the morning.

'But I haven’t forgiven you yet.- you said picking your clothes and heading towards the bathroom. Ah, I’ll need this room for a quite long time. Maybe it’s better if you use the other one.’ You said winking and closing the door.

'Damn, I knew this going going to happen.’ You heard him shouting.

What you both didn’t know was that you were having the same thoughts.

'What if she’s preg-..’

'What if I’m pregnan- No, Y/N, don’t even think about it. It’s just stress. Don’t think about it.’ You mumble to yourself while shampooing.

You were in your undies, washed, moisturized staring at your dress: a wonderful, pencil-skirt, teal and blue dress. It was one of your favorite as it was knee-lenght but it fitted you perfectly in all your right places.

It was the moment of truth: it was your reference to see if anything changed in your body.

You wore it and started pulling the zip up: 'side b’ area went smooth, no visible changes in you belly area either.

You breathed with relief.

'Ah! I was right!’ You said with pride.

You couldn’t be more wrong.

The 'improvement’ Lin pointed out was real and you had to remove your bra to close the zip all the way up.

'Damn it, he was right.’ You said putting your hands on your hips and noticing how your 'side A’ as he called it was quite prominent from the v-shaped cut.

You checked the time on your phone: 'LIN, WE’RE ALMOST LATE!’ You screamed rushing outside the bathroom.

'I’m ready in the kitchen waiting for you. Do you want some coffee?’ He shouted.

'Lin, we’re going to a brunch. Breakfast and lunch. Which means plenty of coffee.’ You answered back while putting on shoes, a blazer and taking your earrings.

'But I need my coffee.’ He insisted.

'You’ll have a ulcer soon if you keep ingesting all this caffeine.’ You get to the kitchen while putting on the jewels.

You found him staring back at you with his mouth open and his mug mid-air.

'What?’ You said putting your head down and shaking your hair to give them volume.

He was still silent.

'Lin? - you looked back at him- should I go change?’ You pointed at your dress.

'WAIT. NO. This is exactly what I meant earlier.. You’re just so.. I’m trying to figured out how you you possible ended up marring me..’ He said at the speed of light.

You were blushing as a 16 years old high schooler. 'I’m fluttered- you said kissing his cheek and putting his mug down, but I don’t think it would make a good excuse with the parents. Chop chop. Let’s go.’ You headed towards the door swining your hips more than usual.

'Is this some sort of punishment for what I said earlier?’

'Dang it. You really are a MacArthur genius.’ You winked teasing him.

The brunch went well until you all decided to have some fruit.

'I’ll take the mango salad.’ You said reading the menù.

'Mango? Y/N, you hate mango!’ Your mother said looking at you.

'I remember the time me and Luis’s sister were pregnant at the same time and we ate mangoes all the times. In fact, there’s a legend according to which if you’re pregnant with a Miranda, you’ll even dream mangoes.’ Luz said and all started laughing.

You and Lin, instead, widened your eyes and looked at each other remembering your unshared thoughts of few hours before.

You could almost see the huge, red-written sign spelling 'SHIT’ on each other faces.

Soon the other four people noticed your silence.

'Lin-Manuel, is everything alright?’ Asked Luis while the others were all smilig at you.

You were on the point of throwing up.

'Yes, papa. I think that Y/N wants mango just because I made her try the mango flavoured tea you brought us from London. Honey, maybe it’s better if you stick with strawberries. You know, fresh mango is a stronger flavour. You have plenty of time to exercise before starting eating it non stop for 9 months.’ He took your hand and gave it a little squeeze.

You got what he was doing as you haven’t drink any tea recently.

'You’re right.’ You almost whispered before excusing yourself and going to the restroom.

You could still hear Lin engaging a conversation with the two women about fruits and pastries to move their attention from what has just happened.

You went to the bathroom and put your wrists under the cold water in attempt to calm you down.

You didn’t want to think about this right now. You want to do it at home. With Lin.

Then you went to the bathroom and you found out your period came.

But you weren’t as relieved as you thought. Yes, you were sad. A little bubbly Lin wasn’t a bad thing at all. But apparently destiny had different plans for you.

Before going out you sent a text  Lin: 'False allarm. Red wave just arrived.’

You went back to the table and you found him still talking about the secrets for a flaky pie.

'Lin, your phone buzzed. You should check it.’ You said sitting down.

'Don’t worry, I’ll see it later.’ He answered.

'It could be something important’ you squeezed his thigh staring him in the eyes.

He got the message and took the phone. You could feel his smile fading. He took your hand and place a kiss on it.

The brunch continued and the six of you went for a stroll then each couple went a difference direction.

As you were walking home you passed in front of the supermarket and, as he could read your mind, he said: 'You still want that mango, am I right?' 

You nodded and added 'We also run out of painkillers and I’ll need them these days.’

'I’ll go to the pharmacy and you the store. Meet me in 10 at the ice cream isle.’ He said kissing you.

So you did. When you met next to the refrigerators, he was happier than when you left him minutes before.

'Since when pharmacy makes you happy?’ You asked while picking your favorite type of ice cream.

'Since they started selling… LOLLIPOPS!’ He jumped showing two candies and giving you one.

'You’re such a kid.’ You laughed.

He coughed showing the wedding band.

'Let’s go pay this fruit and ice creams.’

As you went home, you undressed to get ready to chill on the couch as each Sunday.

He was still in the bedroom when you called him 'Lin, do you want to watch a movie?’ You fell on the couch.

'Not yet.’ He shouted.

'Yet? Do we have to do something?’ You asked.

'Did your flood continued since this morning?’ He asked poking his head from the door.

'I’m sorry, what?’ You asked at the unusual question.

'Did your bleeding continued since this morning?’ He asked again with his hands wrapped around his torso.

'This is gross. But not so much.- you answered skeptically- Do you mind telling me why you’re asking me this? I’m ok with sharing, less details maybe.’

'Could you check again?’

'Lin!’

'Please Y/N. I promise I’ll explain if you do.’

'You’re acting weird but ok.’ You headed to the bathroom with him waiting outside.

It actually seemed like your period stopped so you went out and told him.'For your information, my period is not active right now. Now, my explanation.’

'Sit down and I’ll do it.-he showed you a spot on the bed- This is something I remembered from when Luz was pregnant and I went with her to the gyno- he saw the shocked and disgusted expression on your face- I STOPPED IN THE WAITING ROOM. Today, words keep failing me. However, there’s this thing called 'implantation bleed’ that resembles period but it’s the egg.. Implanting… It was more scientific in my mind.’ He chuckled.

'Lin, I don’t think..’ You said looking down.

'The mangoes, Y/N.’ He said with his eyes sparkling.

'I love your mother, you know this. But as a woman in a world were science exsist, I can’t trust “mangoes stories”.’ You said placing a hand on his cheek.

'Let’s just try. I’ve bought the test.’

That’s why he was so happy. You didn’t know what to do: this morning you realized you wanted to have babies as soon as possible. At the same time you didn’t want to be delusional. You were going to say no but you saw his expecting and hopeful eyes. You couldn’t let him down. Maybe he could have been right.

'Ok- he jumped up hugged you- but I’ll pee and then leave them in the bathroom. We’ll watch a movie and later we’ll check. Got it?’ You said.

'Yes, ma'am.’ He went to his wardrobe and took 3 boxes.

'Lin, three?’

'Just to be sure.’ He smiled.

'You’re a pain in the ass, Manuel.’

'I love you too.’

You both smiled at the inside joke.

You went to the bathroom, did what you have to do and then the both of you went to the living room with popcorns, your chopped fruit and the infamous tea.

Lin wrapped his arms around your legs, that were resting on his own, while your head was on his chest.

After ten minutes your heartbeat was almost normal, you started enjoying the story and started laughing at the improbable adventures of the characters.

15 minutes from the end, Lin stand up to go to the bathroom as he drank almost a litre of tea and you were so caught in the story, you didn’t even realize was going to happen.

You just heard him shouting.

You jumped from the couch and went to the bathroom expecting to see blood/ body parts missing from him.

'LIN! What the hell happened?’ You shouted as an answer.

You found your full grown husband on the floor with his hands on his face saying something you couldn’t understand.

You knelt next to him: 'Lin, what happened?’ You tried to remove the hands just to find his face red and covered in tears.

'Mangoes. Y/N. MANGOES.’ He said smiling even more.

You connected the dots and standed up to have a confirmation: the three test had 2 lines on it.

'MANGOES!’ You screamed crying before reaching the same spot Lin was.

After almost an hour of laugh, tears, kisses and 'mangoes’ you stood up.

You decided to not tell the news to anyone until the ultrasounds.

A month later you organized a little dinner at your house for your parents.

They found not one, but two little mangoes in their plates.

You could feel your heart in your throat. Your tongue was dry. Those memories put you even more on the edge of tears so you decided to stand up and walk a little bit just to see a huge billboard about Maldives.

“Oh, man.” You whispered with a defeated voice while the memories started to flood in your mind.

 IF YOU REACHED THIS POINT, YOU’RE A HERO  AND I LOVE YOU. THANKS FOR SPENDING A LITTLE BIT OF YOUR TIME READING THIS.

brcha’-\���

[rohirric-hunter]

Are we ever gonna talk about how corporations that make apps (Facebook and Twitter and Snapchat and so on and so forth) are intentionally setting out to make people less digitally literate so that people become more reliant on them and their apps and end up paying them to do things they could easily do for themselves?