#this is why his wife left him

[parkermvp]

almost, almost…

[zer0point5ive]

gay people never flirt normally it’s always gotta be shit like this

[the-judicial-assistants-notebook]

Bonus [MASSIVE spoilers under the cut]:

[whotfelsewantedtobelynnyx]

Chat, I regret to inform you that I have added a new hyperfixation…so…

Agatha All Along Incorrect Quotes!

Alice: Hold the fuck up.

Also Alice, crawling into Lilia’s lap: It’s me. I’m the fuck up. Hold me.

Rio: I have an idea!

Jen: No murder.

Rio, sighing petulantly: I no longer have an idea.

Lilia: I have a bad feeling about this…

Agatha: What do you mean?

Alice: Don’t you ever get that little voice in the back of your head that tells you if something is going to get you in trouble?

Agatha: No.

Jen: That actually explains so much.

Lilia: As far back as I can remember, I’ve always had this little voice in my head telling me to “live it up today, because there’s not gonna be a lot of tomorrows”.

Agatha: You do realize there’s medication designed to get rid of those kinds of voices, right?

Teen: A bird flew in through my window and I’m trying to befriend it.

*later*

Agatha: Why don’t you quit bothering me and go talk to your bird friend?

Teen: Matthew and I are not speaking at the moment.

*the coven, huddling together behind a makeshift shelter to shield themselves from repeated gunshots*

Alice, hastily shoving the others behind her so she can return fire: Agatha, do you have any idea who would want to shoot you?!

Agatha, squashed between Jen and Rio: Many people want to shoot me. I take great pride in that!

Jen, glaring at the group as she hands over bail money:

Alice, tapping her shoulder: What about Teen?

Jen, glaring more: I’ve got to bail him out too? Where’s Agatha?

Teen: No one called her. We used Lilia’s phone call to call Alice and Rio’s to call you. Then Rio used my phone call to vote for American Idol.

Rio: :)

Jen: Rio isn’t answering her phone.

Agatha: Here, I’ll try.

Jen: Alice and I have tried six times each, what makes you think that-

Rio, picking up on the first ring: Hey, sweetheart.

Agatha: The ends always justify the means!

Jen: Do you know who said that?

Agatha: Was it Oprah or someone nice and great like that?

Jen: It was Machiavelli. A decidedly non-Oprah like person.

Jen: I bet you didn’t even finish the thing I asked you to get done!

Agatha: For your information, I most certainly did! Got it done last night!

Teen, whispering to Agatha: You didn’t get it done, did you?

Agatha, whispering back: I don’t even know what she’s talking about.

Lilia: I am at a loss for words!

Teen, glancing at the camera like his mom like he’s on The Office: Despite being lost for words, Lilia yelled at us for the next 45 minutes.

Agatha, carrying Señor Scratchy out of the room:

Señor Scratchy: *snuggles under her chin*

Agatha, kissing his head: You are being punished. Please stop being adorable. I love you.

Teen: I got a trampoline tent for summer sleepovers!

Jen, whispering to the other adult witches: …think of all the sex.

Alice: There are two types of people.

Rio: If you wanted to eat someone, you could put a fire under it and slowly roast them :)

Lilia: …three. Three types of people.

Jen, cautiously: I can’t believe I didn’t notice this before, but…Teen, you are a little crazy.

Teen: Aren’t we all a little crazy here, Jen?

Jen: No, I mean you’re aging-ballerina, child-chess-prodigy, professional magician kind of crazy.

Teen: It’s my mom’s fault. You know, we come from a Jewish family, but she used to tell me the reason Santa didn’t come was because my room was too dirty.

Rio: I’ve come looking for trouble. And if I can’t find trouble, I WILL create some.

Alice: Do you trust me?

Lilia, smiling proudly at her: Yes.

Alice, who has been completely panicking: Wait, what? Why?!

Agatha, awkwardly glancing around for help: Er…Alice, I’m gonna be honest, I don’t know what to say to people who are crying. So I’m just gonna hope that the tone of my voice makes you think I do, okay, sweetie?

Alice, sniffling: …thanks, Agatha.

Agatha, patting her on the back with a bit too much enthusiasm: No problem, kid.

Lilia: I told Agatha about it weeks ago!

Teen: She WHAT?

Agatha: What??? Lilia says insane shit all the time, how was I supposed to know this one was true?!

Lilia: Bank accounts are a sham created by the shadow government!

Agatha: SEE?!

BONUS:

Wanda, watching from the afterlife: so…when exactly do kids grow out of that whole emo, rebellious stage?

Lorna, shrugging: I don’t know. Alice is still in it.

[littlelightfish]

I would like to remind people that Chilchuck hasn't seen his wife in 4 years.

So he maybe wasn't there to see his daughters become adults, but he was there for the majority of their childhood.

When he left, Mayjack and Flertom were 12, and Puckpatty was 10. They reach adulthood at 14, so maybe yes, he was absent when they were still kids, but that doesn't mean he didn't maintained contact with them afterwards as far as I know. The thing he uses around his neck was a gift from Flertom, and he was using it when he met Laios's party.

[purpledogdobark]

Disco Inferno.

[rin-sith]

Let me release some character headcanons into the wild real quick, specifically about Odysseus and his family. And by headcanons I mean my canon-compliant (as far as I'm aware) interpretation of their characters and arcs.

Penelope: A quiet, gentle, book-smart girl underestimated by everyone and considered "plain" especially next to Helen. Odysseus was the one who saw her for the interesting amazing person she was, hence why she fell in love with him.

She's logical, introverted, a bit of a nerd, and a little shy; she prefers to remain in the background instead of the spotlight. When Odysseus is away for 20 years and she deals with the suitors Penelope grows to be more resolute and bold, having to step into a leadership role even if she doesn't prefer to do so. She can kick ass if she has to (both verbally and physically) but doesn't enjoy doing it herself (setting her apart from the usual Spartan.) Even over the years, she remains introverted, preferring her books and her son's company over politics, battles, and annoying strangers.

She admires Odysseus for his bold leadership, his talent for improvising and handling crowds and attention, his cunning, and his battle prowess, the fact that he has and would never diminish or humiliate himself to impress or please anyone (even her), as well as his undying loyalty. Moreover, his bold, adventurous energy has always made each day an adventure and without him, her life feels really empty and dull. She's always been the steady, level-headed one in the relationship who doesn't shy away from telling him when he might be making a mistake and grounding and supporting him when he needs it.

Odysseus: A bold, somewhat reckless, confident boy who grew into a decisive, cunning king. Penelope was the one who saw his good heart underneath his carefree and somewhat condescending demeanor, acknowledging him for the well-intentioned person he really is hence why he fell in love with her.

He's got the smartest mouth in all of Greece and can talk his way in or out of *almost* anything. He's more street-smart than book-smart, able to improvise, lead, and think on his feet. He's unafraid to speak up and talk back (even to the gods), which has gotten him in trouble countless times (not that he'd ever stop.) During his 20-year-long ordeal, he naturally became more ruthless, less over-confident, and more willing to do what was necessary to reach his goal, but he never actually lost either his good heart or his true values, only covered them up because he thought he had to. Before and after he was a natural leader and diplomat, a cunning and strong warrior, and someone who isn't afraid to be in the spotlight and take responsibility when he has to. If anything, he tends to blame himself too much. Although after his return his trauma and bad experiences leave him more hesitant and insecure in his leadership than he's ever been; it takes a while and a lot of support for him to grow back into it and stop seeing himself as the monster and the one who is to blame for the deaths of his entire crew.

In Penelope, he admires her intelligence, her steadiness, her undying loyalty, and the fact that she will always ground him, call him out, and support him in often the same breath. He's always been the decisive one in the relationship with better people skills, but without her reassurance that he's doing the right thing, he is only half as confident in any decision made. He finds strength and assurance in knowing that she would follow him to the ends of the earth, but also keep him from straying onto the wrong path without hesitation.

Telemachus: While inheriting his father's bold, fearless attitude, he has also his mother's gentleness and dislike for politics. Growing up seeing how dejected and miserable she was because of his father's absence, he has developed a positive, sunshine attitude, also to brighten her life a little.

He's both naive and not at the same time; being bullied by the suitors for so long, he knows human depravity very well, but being stuck in Ithaca, he doesn't understand the sacrifice and pain that comes with being a hero. He's somewhat of an ambivert—book-smart like his mother but also fearless like his father. Mostly he's just a kind, good person who wants to bring light to the people in his life that he cares about and will always choose to greet the world with open arms when possible.

When his father returns, he becomes the new light in his life as well, helping him to open his heart again after what he's been through and giving him new hope in the way that Polites used to. He admires his mother's intelligence and dedication, and her endurance and ability to step out of her comfort zone and confront bad people when she has to. In his father, he admires his leadership, his loyalty, his endurance, his battle prowess, and ruthlessness—his ability to do what he has to do. Telemachus sees his own inability to be so ruthless as a shortcoming, even though Odysseus is more than happy that his son is not like him in this regard and tries to shield him from anything that may change this.

[rustedleopard]

I feel like if Chujin was still alive during the events of Undertale Yellow, his and Clover's relationship would be incredibly rocky. Pacifist!Clover could bring him around to tolerating them (after all, they have that sort of effect on everyone), but it would be more in a "this human is the only 'good' human" manner than a "maybe I should reevaluate my opinions on humans overall because you can't judge an entire group based off (very biased) stories and one bad experience." Even then, that opinion would be subject to change should Clover ever get frustrated or behave "too aggressively" or act in any manner that isn't perfectly docile. If Clover ends up attacking a monster then it's "humans are just as horrible as they were in the war stories, I should've known better" regardless of the circumstances that could've pushed Clover to fight. Suffocating expectations and endless demands for patience when he wouldn't ask the same of a fellow monster.

And heaven forbid he ever meet Clover on a No Mercy Run...

[bolly--quinn]

The craziest part of the episode to me is the ice cream table exchange about Beth tbh like Morty truthfully believes that Rick would say

“This may as well be our real daughter because she’s just as real as you.”

and

“Put it this way. You’re all basically NPCs. Only Morty and I are real, so your side quests don’t matter. The main quest is us.” (referring to he and Diane exclusively)

And when Diane, rightfully, combats him for his thinking with

“You’re disgusting. You’re talking about our baby girl like she’s theoretical?”

Beth throws in “Welcome to the family.”

Which might be one of the most heartbreaking lines in the whole thing to me because Morty has observed Rick enough to believe that this line of thinking is entirely in character for not only Rick but for the rest of the family too. Like Morty truly believes that Rick doesn’t care about them in anyway and that when faced with this, even Beth would just respond with the belief that this is the norm, at least from Rick anyway. So much so, that he uses an outside character in Diane to call out how insane it is.

Morty believes that Rick only cares about Diane and literally everyone else doesn’t matter and that’s just so sad to me, especially when we have seen otherwise but he can’t be faulted for thinking that when Rick carries that facade with him almost always, and especially to Morty directly.

[hyohaehyuk]

juliana_rychlikova: thanksgiving with vampire fam ❤️ (2023)

source: pixielayer and jandythinker (Note: Juliana Rychlikova have her IG account private so i dont know how the fandom got this photo. maybe she privated the account after the fandom found the photos/videos yesterday)

It seems they celebrated Thanksgiving at Jacob’s house in Prague

Photos via Jacob Anderson IG

Screenshots: funtheysaid, lesbratprince and pixielayer

[coochiequeens]

Every woman should have a friend like Grace at their party.

Do Chris and his mommy and daddy really think that any woman he manages to date won't eventually find out about how he treated his ex and then his mistress?

I hope she invites Grace to every party she holds in the future. And that she dumps Natasha.

[moeblob]

OC !

[thret-rhett]

Adam, Eve, and Lilith. they’re my ocs now more lore in tags

[rocker-socks]

On one hand the Slade design is REALLY funny because it’s such a total subversion of his intended design and is pissing off his diehard fans that thinks he’s the shit but on the other hand it completely fucks with the timeline and removes his absent father dilf swag that makes his character so interesting in the first place

[livethrushit]

that last scene in the qaf finale was painful. we get a voiceover of michael talking about how some things should never change and the show decided that very much included brian. we then get him dancing in babylon to beat us over the head with the idea that nothing has changed at its core. but everything has in that moment. everything had changed for seasons. with everyone dancing "the way it should be" brian was the only one who didn't fit in that scene, yet there he was smack in the middle of it all

this wasn't growth, it wasn't poetic, it was a poorly written ending

[yunmeng-jiang]

workin on my first scum villain fic!!