#this is why I don't usually let myself start caring btw!

[scekrex]

TW(If you dont want to do it it's completely fine)

Can you do a adam x male reader where the reader is depressed because his life when he was living was shit and he thought it would be better but it still haunts him, and he starts to date adam and a few months into dating Adam saw reader SH and gets all sad but becomes more protective of reader and explains to reader how much he loves him and he bandages reader and they cuddle together(I love your writing BTW, you don't have to do this if you think it's shit)

I absolutely do not think it's shit, I hope I did it justice - as a person who suffers from depression myself this kinda is/was my view on the world. Really hope it's to your liking :3

Burning, I feel it too

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, hurt/angst, suicidal thoughts, self harm

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

With him around, heaven seemed brighter. With him around your past life felt less heavy, the burdens you carried were easier to lift and he seemed to bring a reason to all of existence.

But when Adam wasn’t around for a couple hours, the world turned dark again, like he was purposely taking all the bright colors and the joyful emotions with him when he left. The burdens turned insanely heavy again, unable for you to lift, let alone carry on your shoulders and every reason that caused you to take step after step was gone. Adam knew your life had been a dark pit of hopelessness and tiredness. There had been nothing that held you, what was holding you now? A single person and that person wasn’t even yourself how it should have been. It was Adam.

Heaven, the paradise of afterlife that everybody dreamed of, not you though. You just wanted to rest, not continue to suffer above earth in another world. You wanted peace and quiet, eternal rest. But that had been denied, not only by God, but also by Adam. The first man was worried about you and while others thought of it as cute, you felt like a burden to him by making him worry so much. He cared, that you were aware of, he let you not only hear you about it, no, he also showed you that he cared about you. And that caused the clouds that covered your view to lift temporarily. But once Adam left - even if it was just the room - the clouds came back, painting the worlds in black, white and gray again until he came back.

Extermination days were the worst, not only was your partner gone the entire day, no, he was also at risk of getting injured, maybe even killed. Who was there to promise you that Adam would make it out alive? And what would you do if Adam wouldn’t make it out? If Lute would come back alone, nothing but his halo in her hand that she would hand over to you as proof. Would it hurt? Would it hurt worse than the pain you inflict on yourself?

You flicked the lighter on and for a short moment you watched the flame dance in front of your eyes, then you moved the lighter close to your thigh until the flame licked on your skin, the burn that followed felt save, it felt like coming home after a long trip, it welcomed you with open arms and you were so used to it that you closed your eyes and enjoy the silence the pain brought. That was a thing you had missed so much, the silence in your mind that pain brought with it whenever you invited it to visit you. You had been so lost in the quietness that you hadn’t heard the door to the bedroom slamming open. Your eyes cracked open when the lighter was harshly ripped from your trembling fingers, the usually so calming voice of your boyfriend was now the reason for you to flinch away from his body, “What the fuck are you doing?” He sounded mad and you hated the way anger made his voice sound. Why was Adam back already? Was it already that late, had you lost track of time again? Did it even matter if he was back earlier?

Paralyzed you watched as he pulled you off the bed, you weren’t reacting to his words at all, not because you didn’t want to, but because you found yourself unable to. The brunette pushed you flush against his body, you felt the soft golden feathers that wrapped around your nude body to shield you and just like before, there was silence in your head - not because of any pain, but because of Adam. Adam, who had returned the colors to your world, Adam, who was drowning you with his body warmth. “I don’t want to fucking lose you,” he mumbled against your head as he buried his face in your hair. He spun the both of you around slowly, then he let himself fall backwards onto the soft mattress of your shared bed, pulling you with him. “You can’t fucking leave me too, I- for fucks sake Y/N, you can’t fucking-” he interrupted himself and it was only then that you felt the salty tears that were streaming down his cheeks. “I don’t fucking want you to-” he tried again but failed yet again, a sob fell from his lips and you couldn’t help but hate your self for making him feel that way. Adam deserved better, you had tried to explain that to him ever since the both of you had started dating. Yet the brunette had always disagreed. “Please,” he whispered and his voice sounded so unusually broken it tore you apart from the inside. You hated the way it voice was able to sound so unstable, so broken, so sad. You hated that you had caused Adam to feel that way within seconds. “I fucking love you, Y/N,” he mumbled, clearly out of words. You knew he wanted to scream and yell, that he wanted answers. And he knew screaming and yelling would only push you further away from him and that you’d give him answers once you were ready to. So he bit back all the questions he wanted to ask you, all the things he wanted to get off his chest and placed a soft kiss on your head instead. “I’m sorry for being such a mess,” you whispered quietly and maybe, secretly, you hoped it had been too quiet for him to hear. But it hadn’t been, “You’re not, babes, you’ll never fucking be.” But the both of you knew that wasn’t true, that he was lying. You were not only ruining your own mental health but also his. It was only a matter of time until Adam would either drop you or fall into the same hole you were already sitting in.

[shallowseeker]

You know what my favorite thing about Sam is? Even though he and Cas butt heads and don't exactly get along, Sam usually takes Cas's side. It's hilarious.

Sam would absolutely stab Cas in the back, and THEN turn around and take his side.

Kind of like [OMITTED]

8x22:

SAM: Dude, go easy on Cas, okay. He's one of the good guys. DEAN: Dude, if anybody else – I mean anybody – pulled that kind of crap, I would stab them in their neck on principle. Why should I give him a free pass? SAM: Because it's Cas.

7x01, fresh off stabbing him in the back BTW:

SAM: Dean, look, I know you think that Cas is gone -- DEAN: It's 'cause he is. SAM: He's not! He's in there somewhere, Dean. I know it. DEAN: No, you don't. SAM: No, I don't. But, look, I was pretty far gone sometimes myself...

///

SAM (praying): Hey, Castiel. Um... Maybe this is pointless. Look... I don't know if any part of you even cares, but, um, I still think you're one of us, deep down. I mean, way, way, way off the reservation, but... Look, we still have till dawn to stop this. Let us help. Please.

On the one hand, it's easier for Sam not to take Cas's betrayal so personally. He saw the betrayal coming, so he wasn't made a fool of. And also, he's not in love with Cas, so that helps him keep the emotional pain at something of a distance. There's not the same kinda tension.

On the other, Sam has a niggling core... a rebellious-coded "child" who remains vulnerable to authority figures for much of his run, (SEE: with how fanboy he was over the angels+ feeling kinda happy having a past-in-common with John Winchester).

Sam loves to see himself IN the father figure, and he loves to make excuses FOR the father figure. It's one of the most delicious things about Sam (and Lucifer, via his own words about "rebellion" in s13).

I think Sam has a tendency to take the father's and the husband's "side," really, even in that one episode with James Marsters 7x05 Shut Up, Dr. Phil.

Which makes me think about how Lucifer is rebellious in terms of behavior, but says he actually always wanted to belong and please his dad:

LUCIFER from 13x13: No. No I always wanted to fit in, please a father I couldn’t please. And now I’m gonna be a father. Probably screw it up like he did.

AND I can't remember of find the episode, but I know Lucifer starts speaking of God differently after he has a son on the way, suddenly cutting him a whole lot of slack. (I think he does this in Exodus, too?)

I love Sam and Lucifer's twin struggles. So crunchy!

[hanjisungfanboy]

Idk if this is too much, but can you do what skz thinks about pegging and how willing they’d be to do it? Most to least?

Of course! I don't think it's too much at all! Thank you for being my first request. <3 This actually made me think a lot and I had to switch the order around a little bit, but my brain loved the challenge! I really hope you enjoy it and it's what you wanted. If not, I can write another one based on your feedback.

This is for fun and should not be taken seriously or how they act in real life. (Mood board not mine btw!) Mature content below, MDNI please! <3

Content and content warnings - Pegging (obvi-), anal, smut, gn!reader(I got a little carried away and wrote a little for each member, and maybe a lot for Han), lots of subby members (I live for sub skz), praise, anal virgin Binnie, hands being restrained/tied, dom I.N, and experimenting. (Please let me know if I missed anything and I will add it!)

Most to Least; Pegging

MOST

Han

Are you surprised? Cause I'm not- And maybe I'm biased. BUT I just have this feeling. So, I'd say he's very willing and it would even become a normal thing in the bedroom. He's super open to a lot of stuff, bro is just freaky like that.

His legs are spread eagerly, Jisung on his back as he stares at you lovingly, slowly slipping into subspace as he gets that dazed look in his eyes. He went into the bedroom reassuring you that he was gonna take charge tonight, even if it was your strap on in his hole. And while that did hold true for a while, it didn't last. For the first several minutes, he was on top, riding you like his life depended on it as he sucked hickeys onto your collarbones. He even restrained your hands from touching him, giving you a sweet yet lust filled smile. He was doing just fine keeping this up, even taunting you when your strap on hit a spot within him just right. His body shook and he whined, stopping momentarily which got a response out of you, "What happened, Ji? Too much?" He bit his lip at your teasing, your smirk setting his nerves on fire. "N-No, not at all! I'm just..pacing myself, that's it." He tries to go on further, bouncing up and down on the strap despite how much he struggled to keep upright. He wanted to prove to you he could finish one night being the dominant one but as time went on, he starts to slow down, body growing tired from how eagerly he was bouncing on top of you. You leaned towards his ear as he whimpered, "It's okay, you can let go tonight. Let me take care of you. I'll make it feel really good, Jisungie." Your words went straight to his dick. He locked eyes with you, finally giving in. "Yes- Please fuck me." You chuckled, flipping him over, which lead to where the two of you were now.

Changbin

Listen, I know those muscles don't lie but I feel like once he fully trusts his partner in a relationship, he lets go a little and wants to be pampered sometimes. He's never received anything anally, but he was always curious to how it felt. So, when he brought it up to you, you were shocked as he had always taken the dominant role in the bedroom. That was the default for you guys until now.

"Pegging? No, I've never pegged somebody before. Why do you ask, Binnie?" "No reason..But uh, when I fucked your ass for the first time, did it hurt?" "Well yeah, it hurt a little bit, that's kind of norma- Wait, are you saying you want me to peg you?" His cheeks went red, and he cleared his throat. He averted his eyes, pretending to look at something so very interesting on the floor. After a moment, he nodded. "Yeah..Yeah, I wanted to try it with you." "You could've just said so, Binnie." You chuckled at his rare timidness. He was usually very bold, but his shy attitude made you want to spoil him. "Is that a yes?" He mumbled, glancing into your eyes. "Absolutely, my dear Binnie."

I am so convinced that once you play with his ass, he falls apart. Shoving his head into the pillows and everything as you two are in doggy style. And it has to be doggy style cause dat ass- (I'll stop now)

Felix

I believe Felix is such a sweetheart and softie in the bedroom, leaning more towards being submissive. He loves to please you, wholly devoted to making sure you both enjoy any experience you two go through. This being said, when the topic of pegging came up, he was intrigued but not at all opposed to the idea. Usually, he always makes sure your pleasure comes first but good boys deserve to be spoiled so the first time you peg him, he'll be your pillow prince for the night. <3

His head is thrown back, blonde and luscious locks falling onto the bed below him. His hands were gripping onto your arms as you eased the strap into him. He's biting his lip, trying to conceal his noises. He didn't expect this to feel so good. "Come on, Lixie, let those sweet sounds out. Tonight is about you, Angel. My pretty and good Angel." He always melts at your praise, a sucker for your approval. His teeth release his bottom lip and he gives you the signal to start moving. As soon as you do, he's a moaning mess, moans growing higher in pitch as the night goes on. Long story short, that night was one of the best things he's ever experienced.

Minho

Okay, hear me out. I think he would be hesitant to the idea. It would take a few days to digest. After those few days, he thought, 'Why not? What could go wrong?' Hmm...What could go wrong? He could love it more than he thinks he should. Aaand, that's exactly what happened. He definitely likes it on the rough side after getting used to it.

Minho's hands grip onto the sheets for dear life as you railed into him from behind. He was trying to keep calm and pretend he didn't love this, but his hips betrayed him as he kept pushing back into you. He was scared he would get addicted to this feeling, but his thoughts started leaving him as he whined quietly. "Does it hurt, Min?" You were nervous about how he was holding up, considering how much he hesitated to do this. "M-More..." He mumbled, more to himself than you. "What'd you say?" You genuinely didn't catch what he said, and this only drove him to beg. "More! Please, Y/N-ie, give me more. Faster, please." He whined loudly, afraid to look back at you. He was scared you would be disgusted that he loved this. You smirked and leaned forward, causing the strap to go deeper as you grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at you. The tears in his eyes only fueled your desire to ruin him. "Alright, bunny. Let me devour you, tonight."

Seungmin

Hear me out(x2), I feel like he'd be super hesitant about it and wouldn't prefer it whenever you two have your intimate moments. BUT he decides he'll give it a try after he had a rough day and just wants to be taken care of for one day. It's a rare opportunity so of course you seize it! Long story short, he doesn't hate it, just doesn't prefer it unless he's feeling it. He prefers to take control more than give control so it's not often that he lets you peg him.

Seungmin was relaxing on your shared bed after a long day. He was stressed and just wanted to relax but you were horny. You plopped onto the bed right next to where he laid. He sighed; he could tell you wanted something. "Long day, Seung?" "Mhm..I know by how you're acting that you want to fuck but I'm not sure I have it in me tonight." You visibly pouted at this when he got an idea. "You know what? Grab that strap I know you've been holding onto. We can try what you've been wanting to try for a while." "Really?! Are you sure?" He laughed at your excitement. "Yeah, come on. Just go easy on me, today was a rough day." And with this, you scrambled for the strap-on and lube, eager to take care of him tonight.

Chris

Similar to Han, he's open to a lot of things and always tries everything once. He wouldn't be like, super excited to do it, but he wouldn't be dreading it either, y'know? He gives dom vibes, but I think he would be willing to be submissive. I heavily believe you would have to bring it up to him for him to try it, but he would be willing! I feel like it would be super soft and loving too! I feel like Chan would lean more towards the rough stuff, but he enjoys the romantic nights too.

Your hands were entwined with his while you fucked him, both of you locking eyes as you slowly thrusted into him. "How is it, Channie?" "Not as bad as I thought..But I definitely prefer fucking you." You both giggled as your bodies lovingly pressed against each other. Night like this were heavily cherished. It just proved how deeply you two trusted and loved each other. "Don't worry, I prefer you fucking me too. Though I do enjoy seeing how your body reacts to me." You whispered as you leaned closer. Your lips brushed against each other, and he chuckled softly before capturing your lips with his.

Jeongin

When you brought up pegging him, he thought you were joking at first. He laughed hysterically until he saw that you were serious. I am pretty convinced he would take much longer than Minho to digest and think about it. He loves being dominant in the bedroom, as he had never thought about being anything other than dominant. If he does end up letting you peg him, he wants to still be in charge.

Jeongin was on top, riding you as you sat upright. He had tied your hands behind your back with a ribbon, insisting that 'you can look but you can't touch', with a wink. He had one thigh on each side of you, trying not to put all of his weight on you as he bounced up and down on the strap. You absolutely loved the image of him riding you, but you wanted to touch him and mark his body up. "Innie..Please let me touch you." You whined, staring up into his eyes. He chuckled at your desperation. "You wanted to peg me, so right now you're going to enjoy the view. You'll get to touch later, I promise."

He didn't hate being pegged, but it's definitely not on his favorites list so maybe he'll entertain you once in a while.

Hyunjin

Spoiler alert, y'all tried it once and bro said never again. He didn't like the feeling and to be fair, pegging isn't for everyone. Even with all of the prep and lube, he just wasn't digging it.

He was on his back as you inserted the strap-on into him. His eyebrows furrowed the deeper you got. You noticed this and stopped, "Does it hurt, Jinnie?" "No..Just doesn't feel right." "Do you want to keep trying?" "Yeah, just a little bit longer." You nodded at this and slid the rest in, making sure to check in on him as you two continued. "How is it?" He made a face, trying to enjoy the feeling. "I don't really like it." "Do you want to stop?" "Yeah, if you don't mind." "Not at all." You assured him, kissing his forehead before pulling out completely. "Sorry, I just don't really like how it feels." He mumbled, feeling bad since you had wanted to try it. "Don't be sorry, babe. We tried it and I'm more than happy about that. I'm not gonna make you do something you don't like. Do you want to do something else or call it a night?" "Thanks, Y/N." He said, smiling softly. "Let's do something else, I'm still horny. As long as you're down." You chuckled. "When are you not horny?"

LEAST

I hope this was good! If you enjoyed, consider sending in a request, I don't bite. <3 (Unless you want me to- jk) Anyway, here's my request post if you want to see what I will or won't write. Bye!

[yoomiwrites]

Sugar Rush³

Note: This will be the last part for today. I mean, all I'm doing is to upload em here, but I don't wanna spam lol. Btw. I always had a Fanart for each chapter back then, which I won't use now since I don't know the artist and wouldn't be able to give them their credit.

The night sky was a blanket of inky blackness, shrouded in clouds and thick fog. The stars, the moon, even the distant houses were swallowed by the gloom. I was utterly exhausted. The last few days had been a whirlwind—clashing with the admirals, and of course, facing Akainu’s ever-present doubts about me. My body felt heavy as I trudged through the hallways, moving slower than a walk, barely dragging myself forward to deliver the final report of the day to Kizaru.

I knocked softly on the thick, wooden door, and from inside, a quiet, familiar voice called out, "Hmn, come in."

Opening the door carefully, I stepped inside, bowing briefly as I prepared to speak. But my words caught in my throat the moment I looked up. The sight before me was... unexpected, to say the least.

Kizaru sat casually on the sofa, his eyes lifting from the book in his hands as a sly smile curled his lips. But it wasn’t just him. Aokiji was sprawled across his left thigh, sound asleep, and Akainu rested on his right shoulder, equally lost in dreams.

"Psssh, (L/N)-san~," Kizaru whispered, snapping me out of my half-frozen shock. He gently closed the book, placing a finger to his lips in a gesture for silence. With the same finger, he pointed toward his desk, signaling where I should leave the documents.

Nodding, I moved quietly across the room, stifling a yawn as I laid the papers down with care. My only thought was to get out of this bizarre situation as quickly as possible. However, Kizaru had other plans.

Before I could make my escape, he wrapped an arm around my waist and effortlessly pulled me onto his free leg. A surprised gasp escaped me, though I quickly bit it back as Akainu stirred with a low grumble. The last thing I wanted was to wake him.

"What are you doing, Admiral Kizaru-san?" I whispered, trying to wriggle free from his grip.

"Don’t resist, (L/N). You’re tired. Let’s sleep," he murmured softly, his voice almost a lullaby. He rested his head on my shoulder, peering at my now undoubtedly bright red face with a grin of pure amusement.

"I would like to sleep," I replied in a harsh whisper, "but in my own room. In my own bed."

"But why?" he asked, his tone teasing as ever. "Look at them, aren’t they cute~?"

I glanced hesitantly at Aokiji, whose hair was, as always, ridiculously tempting to touch. After a moment’s pause, I reached out and gently ran my fingers through his hair. It was as soft as it looked. He grumbled contentedly in his sleep, and I quickly withdrew my hand, unsure of how to react.

"See? So sweet, hn~" Kizaru’s voice was a soft hum, clearly relishing the situation. I couldn’t help but smile, realizing he was mocking my earlier words from the start of the week—when I had, quite foolishly, referred to the admirals as “sweet as sugar.” He hadn’t forgotten, of course.

My eyes wandered over to Akainu. His usual intensity was nowhere to be seen. He looked completely peaceful, and despite myself, I reached out and gave his nose a little poke with my finger. In any other moment, this would have been unthinkable, but here I was, sitting among sleeping titans.

It wasn’t long before the sheer absurdity of it all hit me again, and I turned my gaze to Kizaru, who, unlike the others, was still very much awake.

"What are you doing?" I asked, my voice barely more than a tired whisper. Despite my growing discomfort, it was hard not to admit that the warmth of his body against mine was becoming... oddly comforting.

He looked at me with that familiar lazy smile. "You’re part of our family now, (F/N). Go to sleep."

Three hours passed. Three long hours of sitting there, surrounded by these powerful men, all of them peacefully asleep while I remained wide awake, unable to relax. Sleepless and plotting my escape.

But as I shifted, a single thought crossed my mind, one I would’ve never imagined needing to think: Oh, Kizaru... next time, please let me go to the bathroom first.

[eddiestightywhities]

okay this is very long and mostly just for me to get some stuff of my chest and out of my head therefore anybody tagged pls don't feel as though you have to read it all (like obvs you know you don't have to but you also hopefully know what i mean lol):

so i've had some quite heavy stuff going on in meatspace recently, and then i went to see i saw the tv glow two nights ago which was beyond brilliant but fucked me up entirely on a personal level. then, just to be a bit (read: incredibly) stupid, i for some reason (read: bc i'm a masochist) decided to delve into reading waaaay too many of my first 'eddie losing his shit over christopher leaving/summer of sexuality queer crisis' fics, which i've not dared let myself do before now bc it's all very close to the bone for me i.e. my own queer (trans) crises—yes, plural, they keep coming—and stuff that's not a million miles away from the shit going on with my eldest son (bar kim lol). why tf my brain chose the worse time possible is just another one of life's mysteries (read: i'm just insane [see above]).

(btw my struggling hugely with issues of repression plus my son hating/not hating me aside, THIS FIC is the insanely brilliant piece of art that kicked off the binge. it's from the astonishingly talented @wildehacked and is one of two parts which are possibly the best buddie fics—or even just some of the best fics, period—that i've ever read. seriously, check the tags and if you're a buddie lover and it/they seem like your sort of thing you should 100% go save/read it/them!)

anyways, after all that i'm now just kind of spiralling a bit tbh aha. i'm not fine, not rn, but i will be fine at some point soon sort of thing. like, i'm okay and nobody needs to worry etc i'm just trying to do one if the countless things that i'm absolutely bloody terrible at which is reaching out. but not because i need anything from anybody it's more just for me to be able to say “i'm going through some stuff right now and i might or might not disappear for a while” because i don't usually manage anything at all like that when i'm in the trenches and instead just retreat into my shell and go radio silent—and the thing is, i know some very lovely people who have shown concern when i've done that in the past and i'm therefore trying to be better. friends old and new alike such as @shealynn88 @sharkfish @greyhavenisback @raisesomehale @doilooklikepeople @woodchoc-magnum @buddiebeginz i'll absolutely be getting back/chatting to you when i'm able to interact with a bit more—well, when i'm a bit more, i 'spose xp

also tagging lovelies @novemberhush for the usually well-loved procrastination tag game stuff and @inell and @kitteneddiediaz (and possibly @veronae-buddie and @daffi-990?) for the WIP games i've been kindly tagged in but not responded to. thank you and sorry! like, i know it's absolutely fine and nobody really cares about stuff like that, but i'm just very much feeling like i need to say these things right now. and more apologies if there have been tags i've missed from other lovely folks; not being round these parts for 48+hrs = horrendous notifs situation (you know how it is).

on the writing front, i don't know if it's both completely dumb and ridiculous to start this by saying, “hmm, i'm unsure if it's related or not?” but as well as everything else i'm simultaneously having one one those Everything I Have Ever Written Am Writing Or Could Write Is Utter Fucking Dogshit sort of moments (like, i know i'm not a great writer—which is not derogatory and just fact and 100% absolutely fine—but i'm usually at peace with the strange little oneshots i puke out, y'know?) which is yet another reason for me to disappear off here for the time being as i sadly have one of those unhealthy irrational relationships with fandom that's like I Don't Deserve To Be Here If I'm Not Being Useful—which i know is dumb af and i would absolutely try to coax anyone else out of if it were them saying it and not me, but alas poor yorick. thing is, i used to be incredibly prolific in making fanart, for loads of different fandoms, and that too has dwindled considerably over the last year or more (god, is it that long?) therefore it's just a double whammy currently with the writing now also taking a hit. and i know, i know, whomp whomp poor me etc etc i just—i fear whenever i disappear, i won't ever be able to make it back... bleugh horrid lol

obviously i can't seem to be normal about anything ever so i'm sorry if this is a weird way to respond to nothing happening that nobody asked about (there is no 'if'; it absolutely is weird but i'm afraid it is what it is) and i truly don't need anything from anybody, i just think me posting this and saying how i'm feeling will probably be doing me a bit of good. honestly, pls feel free to ignore, this is just cathartic for me. but i guess, at the same time, as well as those things, me being on the spectrum means i'm not skilled at keeping friendships going, which makes me very sad, so this is maybe me voicing those fears in an attempt to combat them becoming a reality? i think? it's just that i've already drifted away from too many lovely people here due to the affects of these things and i'm therefore just—i think i'm just really trying in my own odd little way.

anyways i'm gonna go rewatch some sense8 and sob out my own weight in tears and snot and just keep on keeping on with existential crisis #4793 for the time being until something shifts in me and then i'll be back at some point? yeah, i think that sounds about right.

love you guys big much (one of my son's isms from when he was little) <3

ps just realised i wrote this on my buddie blog and really can't be arsed copying and pasting it over to my main @all-or-nothing-baby... so anybody who was wondering, yeah it's me yer boi cassidy xp also if you read this far you're insane and i love you even more for it <3

[ohboycharlie]

THE ELEVATOR ଓ｡˚.CL16 (part3)

part1 and part2 pairing: charles leclerc x fem!reader summary: cupid takes the form of an elevator

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

"Oh hello there nice to see you again." I was trying so hard to resist the smile on my face when he said that because I was going to make him swallow back his words.

"Oh hi, I honestly did not know anyone else would be up at this ungodly hour so excuse my appearance." Yea, I TOTALLY did not know he was going to be awake. 23rd floor. "No no, no worries that's fine. Your apartment, your comfort right?" "Hahaha true that." 22nd floor. "Anyways what is your name btw if you don't mind me asking?" Yea sure as if I minded. "Not to be critical but I just met you twice and you already know what floor I live on so I don't want to endanger myself by telling you my name" 21st floor. "Ah, I see you are a true woman" TF. "Excuse me? Was that supposed to be a good thing?"

He knew he fucked up. "Oh god, I did not want it to come out that way it's just that you are careful like every woman and as you should but I am a nice person. No wait even the bad ones say that uh I am Charles btw." "I know. I see your face everywhere" 20th floor. BAM! The elevator rumbled and started making noises and then we stopped.

But before I could scream, Charles did the job for me. "oh merde ça se passe putain! oh god uhm ho paura di questa situazione esatta!" This bitch was stealing MY show. "Uhm okay first of all calm down ig? and second of all I understood nothing from what you said" He looked at me as if I just slapped him. "You don't understand the two languages spoken here?" He was speaking while hyperventilating but I still took offense. Before I could say anything he spoke up. "I said I'm scared of this exact situation. This has been my nightmare since I don't know how long."

This bitch did not just say that. I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE NOT HIM. "If you knew about this nightmare, why would you take a flat this up? That makes no sense and also breath and have water here." He gulped down the entire bottle rather ungracefully. "I did not have a choice. Every other flat was taken." I did not know what to make of it so I looked up to the camera and just shook my hand near my neck as if to tell Maya the show was over. Fortunately, Charles was busy screaming for help. The elevator started in a few minutes and I could see he was more than eager to get off.

"I apologise for what you had to see, I am usually never like this" I had to say something to make things less awkward so I blurted out the first thing that came to my mind. "You drive fast cars for a living which has a very high chance of crashing yet you are like this just because the elevator got stuck?" 19th floor. "Hey, Tom Holland played Spider-Man yet he is terrified of spiders." He made a good point so I just nodded along. It was insanely silent for the next three floors and I had never wished for the ground to open up and swallow me more.

"So...where do you work?" "Uhm here and there." The way his eyebrows rose was a clear question itself yet he decided to voice it out. "Why aren't you telling me the exact place?" 15th floor. "Dude, I did not tell you my name, what makes you think I would tell you where I work? Give me one good reason not to be cautious of you." I knew I made a good point when he hesitated to answer. "Uhm maybe because everyone knows me and if anything were to happen to you, my reputation would be, what's the word for gâté in English? uh, I don't know my reputation would go bad so why would I risk it?" 14th floor. "Exactly. Everyone knows you and loves you. They would never question you. So leave it. Let's just be elevator buddies." "But isn't this friendship a bit one-sided? I know nothing about you yet you know everything about me."

What a conceited little bitch. "Charles Leclerc is your name and you drive for Ferrari in a Formula 1 car. That is all I know about you. I honestly do not have the time to keep up with F1 gossip and does that mean whatever the media puts, is true about you?" 13th floor. "That is still more than what I know about you!" "Well then remember me as the mystery elevator girl." I shrugged. "Sure okay." It was again silent until the 8th floor when my phone rang. I didn't know the signal reached inside. It was Maya and I knew it must have been important for she would never call me in that situation. "Hello?" "Dude the guy, he recognised Charles and is not threatening to call the police." "WHAT THE FUCK. HOW" "I don't know, I told him I paid a hefty amount and that he should just shut up but you know what he said? He said prenez votre argent, I am going." "Girl you know I do not understand French" 7th floor.

"He said he doesn't want the money." "Stop him somehow I don't know. Maya, we can be in real trouble please." "I'll see what I can do" I cut the call knowing Charles heard every second of it. His face was filled with concern as I turned around. "Is everything alright?" How could I tell him he was going to be the reason I would be in jail. "Yea yea, everything is fine just a work-related issue. Nothing serious." I could see he knew I was lying but he didn't press the issue further.

Finally, the elevator opened and we parted ways with a bye. I immediately turned around and went up to my house again so that the guy could not run away. As soon as I reached I knew I couldn't alert the person that someone was coming so I had to open the door with my keys but the thing was, I could not find my keys. As I was struggling to open the door for a good 5 minutes, I heard the elevator opening. Oh god no no no no don't be him please please but I knew my prayers were for nothing when I heard his scream. "YOU!?"

[sakumira-agashi]

ok so i knoe i commented about this awhile ago but i need you to understand the amout of SHOCK i accidentially put myself through with Francis

so when i read anything, i have a sort of 'default' look for characters in my head until they get described, usually based on assumptions and basic character info, and usually i see the chefs in fics depicted as either 'grizzled dad like callous-handed chef whos been doing this for 27 years' and 'little baybe just-fresh-out-of-culinary-school is sweating all the time cuz of vincents pure aura'

so when i started reading bwb for the first time and Francis was introduced as experienced, i went with the first one. here we go. i imagined him as 1: older & grizzled 2: with stuble 3: with DARK LONG HAIR (with my second read through i am realizing that he was litterally described as blond idk how i came to this conclusion) and 4:, SOMEHOW, short.

im talking LOOKING UP TO VINCENT short.

SO YOU CAN IMAGINE HOW *GOBSMACKED*- nay -FLABBERGASTED I WAS TO SEE

THIS

WHEN THE VISUALS CAME UP IN THE STORY AND I SAW THOSE LUSUS GOLDEN LOCKS AND HIS STRAIGHT POSTURE AND THAT FREACKINGFDJ FACE LIKE SIR YOU ARE A CHEF NOT A WAITER WHY ARE YOU SERVING SO MUCH OH MY GOD LIKE DAYM HOLY MOTEHER OF LOOSE FLOWY CURLS WHAT THE ACTUAL WHERE DID THIS SOFT SKINNED SLY FLIRTY DOM OF A MAN COME FROM

i was flabbergobsted to say the least

(btw dont get it twisted i love him i wanna run my fingers through his hair its probably softer then silk like wth)

You have no idea how much this made my day LMAOOOOOO, that was such a hilarious read, I was laughing the whole time XD

But no I totally get the thing where you materialize the characters in your head based on the given info, and tbh two of my characters are based on the dynamics you described (Denis as the grumpy experienced chef and Pierre as the lil babey who just graduated culinary school, except he hasn't graduated yet but end up doing so after the end of the story lol), so I can't say I'm not guilty of having those types of characters.

To be fair to you, Francis's appearance wasn't set in stone at first. Yes he's always been blond but I felt I didn't start going into more details with them so it's completely understandable you didn't see it, as they all started off as placeholders who are just there to gossip about Vince and Rody lmao, and also cuz I don't wanna write "chef 1", "chef 2"... every time they're mentioned.

He didn't even LOOK like that in his first version, the only difference between him and other characters is that he's blond and has long hair, I only started to flesh out his appearance more to match his "hot charming guy who's always so collected for some odd reasons" shtick of his lol

Regardless, I'm really happy to see that people enjoy seeing him! (a bit too much sometimes, yes if you know what I mean, I'm looking at you freaks (talking as a fellow freak myself)). I myself also like how he looks now :D Amongst all the characters I've ever made, he's one of my fav

He serves cunt looks cuz that used to be his full-time job lol He was a full-time model and would've continued doing so if baking wasn't his passion, but he still loves taking care of his looks, especially his hair

Also he'd let you stroke his hair if you ask nicely :3 And per Pierre's words, yes, it's confirmed Francis's hair is softer than silk

(Oh also side note, hope the bookbinding stuff is going well! :D)

[saysike-skedoodles]

Art Summary 2024

[BTW- if you're an account that does NSFW/ Fetish content, I kindly ask for you to not interact with my work. Please don't take this the wrong way, I respect your interests, but I'm uncomfortable with that content and wish to not engage with it :]  ]

---

AND WE ARE BACK ONCE AGAIN FOR THIS YEAR'S ART SUMMARY!!! I also went with a little theme this time around too! What theme? A DAMN ALBUM. MORE SPECIFICALLY AMERICAN IDIOT. I swear my Green Day interest is at a normal level. To be fair though I never went with themes for my summaries so why not go with something that's one of my FAVOURITE albums and said album also turned 20. That and I also saw it in full live with Dookie this year too so IT MAKES SENSE THIS ALBUM IS FURTHER CEMENTED AS ONE OF MY FAVOURITES (Nimrod still has my heart though.)

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ANYWAYS- this year has been nothing short of a ROLLERCOASTER of events. One major thing that you can all see in this summary is the artstyle change. It's not that subtle (in my eyes at least) and it has really taken another step in looking like a 2010s Cartoon Network show. I know I say this a lot but I mean it this time around when I say that I'm REALLY happy with how my art looks now. It's starting to really shape itself into what I want it to be- if I told 2021 me who just started drawing on their tablet what their art would look like now they'd go insane. This year has really been the time I pushed myself in terms of art and just- EVERYTHING. It landed me in a local convention selling my own work too! THAT'S INSANE!! REALLY AND TRULY THAT IS INSANE. I never thought I would get to that point and being able to sell my work and meet people that were interested in my stuff- EVERYONE WAS SO SO SOOOO NICE TOO. AAAAAA. I'm still not over that if you couldn't tell.

---

I also said the same last year but I gotta say it again that MANNN my friends both online and irl are SO SO AWESOME. I'm forever grateful to have you guys as my friends and to think I know this many people now is kinda crazy. I'm still really happy either way- you guys helped me through some tough times. Not to get overly personal but this year did have 2 major downs. Losing 2 of my oldest pets that were with me when I was very very young were major obstacles to get over- it's why August doesn't have much going for it. But I got through it in the end and even though as I type this am starting to tear up more and more, what I will say is that I know they're safe now. I'm not religious in any way (I mean look at what I draw), but I like to think that my pets are someplace safe. Even if it's by a nice fireplace snoozing. I love my pets what can I say-

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Where was I going with this? OH YEAH- let's move on from the sad stuff for a bit- I don't usually care about numbers and such but.. HOWDIDIHIT200WATCHERS??????WHAT??????? I'M STILL SHJJFSLJFFDLK BECAUSE OF THAT. HOW??????? Can you tell I'm surprised- This is trailing off into rambling territory. I'm gonna stop now and make the most of the last day of 2024. I'll probably go play minecraft, listen to music and watch vids about roblox ARGs. SEE YOU ALL NEXT YEARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

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[all content I post is automatically 13+ if not stated in the title or the content itself]

[rom-kal]

stargaze

author's note/rambles: this is meant to be read in andreas' pov btw! anyways this is the first thing i've wrote something like this so i hope it doesnt sound bad.. idk though lmao i dont really write as much as i used to so this should be a fresh (re)start

warnings: brief mentions of drugs

it's been a long time. a long time since i've felt whole.

nothing feels the same anymore. it never has to begin with. i'm in prison again and sandra died without me knowing a single thing about it. i've always been so lost, but now it's like i hit a dead end on everything. there's nothing much left for me other than to wait. wait until it's all over. wait until i get out of my cell, do some new shit, the usual. but it'll never be the same.

for the first time in a long time, i regret thinking so much i couldn't even keep up with them. i'm losing the will to live every day. and yet there's something in my head that won't leave me. i keep thinking about the night i looked up to the stars with her, my sandra....

[1996, summer]

"..well fuck. these strings can only last for a while. i'll just try to rearrange the drums until i get my guitar fixed. i haven't had much time to do my shit anyways. got schoolwork to catch up on, i have to submit a reaction paper on that documentary about that heroin addict. dad's telling me to change the wording on one of the questions there, but i don't want to lie about being a drug-less sick fuck. and i was told my friends were stargazing tonight. apparently the stars have been shining brighter than usual for some reason. whatever. i don't have the time for this. i can't waste time on worthless shit. i've already used up too much of it on... okay, maybe i do have time, but only for now. i don't need to work with people to make albums or something. but maybe..

hm? i think i just heard sandra call me to join her with our friends. this better be quick. i'm finally outside and ready to enjoy the view, i guess. i'm glad i have people like her though. it's comforting that i'm not the only one who's sick in this small town. ...everything feels nicer here, actually. the trees always strike me with a sense of longing for the old times, back when dark ruled the rule. looking back, the church near my house against the night sky could as well be an album cover. and it already is! i'm glad i could enjoy this at least. i was already kinda out of ideas in the first place... sandra's already there and waiting for me. she noticed i was enjoying myself with the view a lot so she just let me do whatever.

so now i'm with my gang, finally. it's getting a bit dark outside because of how late we are, but the lights from above are so bright and gentle... wait. why do i feel so giddy about some white dots on a void? why am i here, lying on the grass, and doing nothing but stare to the star with others? why do i actually want to enjoy something like this? my guitar's broken and i got school shit to do, but i don't care as long as i can spend time with myself. like i've said, i don't need someone else to do what i love, learned my lesson after that fuckup with my friends' band.

but is it okay if i want to stay like this? i also don't want to be like anyone else, i fucking hate the thought of being a poser. love is a nigh-alien feeling to anyone fully immersed in the scene. i was lost beneath my thoughts, thinking and thinking about everything going on around me. i forgot i was meant to be a son of pure darkness and hatred. i got so lost, so lost thinking about all of this that i forgot about everything else, until i felt sandra's hands tapping on my shoulder.

"is everything okay, andi?"

..."

i can't remember the rest.

i never realized how much being with someone made me feel so... warm? i'm not sure, it's been too long. i felt more than happy to be with her, under the summer sky at night, gazing at the sparkling stars above us. i guess drugs make me happy, they always had for me, but this one felt so long-lasting and warm...and... i don't know anymore. i'm not sure this is the sort of life i want. i mean, what the fuck do i even have to do when i'm out of this dingy prison? just make music by myself and hope it works out?

i've liked being alone for as long as i remember, and yet being with others in a place like that made me happier then before back then.. i wonder what i should do about this. i should get back into thinking about my future again. i can't stay being lonely for too long, but i can't go back to that point. i haven't seen them in a long time anyway. there's no way i can do that again, let alone like this. there's nothing more for me than to either get out and make ugly music or rot in this hell called prison.

i'll keep doing this shit for as long as i can. but i'm not sure if i can do it alone all the time. whatever, i'll forget about it all tomorrow, so what's the point? i'll just go back to bed, it's late in the night. i won't care about it soon and i won't ever feen whole since then.

i'm not sure if i ever felt whole in the first place.

[fuwaprince]

hey. are you okay friend?

No, I'm not and c'est la vie! Sometimes you're okay and sometimes you're not. Thanks for checking in sweet friend 🫂 I hope you're having a beautiful day! 💕

Yesterday I helped Mr. Leonard deep clean his home that we're still trying to save and this morning I unfortunately headed back to the hag house I reside in! He was so nice. Sent me home with half his cookies and told me to share with the people who were kind enough to give me a ride. I didn't even mean to stay over last night but I was just so tired after cleaning... I slept for a whole 10 hours! Kind of a miracle for me. I must've been comfortable

Soon as I got back to the hag house and started to microwave my usual (a single jumbo corn dog), I was rudely interrupted and told by the biggest bitch here that I am no longer a part of the household even though I am living here for the next 30 days still???? They can deny the reality (that I have been part of this house since the day I moved in) and believe in whatever delusion they so badly want to- fine!!! But the sucky part is that they say I can no longer help myself to the food my fucking rent covers because of that decision... Wackadoodle :/ Funny how the carpet slides around. They're literally fattened up by greed. They're willing to starve me down to nothing if it means I'll die faster than I can move out. Whatever it takes to drive me away I guess since the other terror tactics just didn't work! She was giving me attitude and rude comments. Other housemate blasted trans hate (happy pride btw). Got defensive af over their food in their kitchen :/ whatever

Good news is that I reapplied for food stamps after a friend motivated me to. I'm fucking praying that this time my fucked up mother doesn't sabotage it by denying me my fucking mail again like she did last time which resulted in me starving/withering all summer of last year! I should've had it this whole time... Hopefully it gets processed soon. Phone interview will take place once the weekend is over... I hope there's a way to expedite it.

If I had my own PO box then I wouldn't have to depend on my mom actually giving me my mail... I don't have a key and don't live there with her anymore but this mailing address won't work. The people here tamper with my belongings out of hate. Why? Who knows. I try not to think about the whole "what if I was a pure white lesbian instead of a brown trans traitor? Would they respect me then?" rabbit hole. I don't care. Even if I was respectable to them, I wouldn't be their friend based on how they'd treat others. Anyways, yeah. Coming back home sucks. People are mean. My heart rly hurts and keeps acting up. Stings and feels like I'm going to pass out from time to time. It's hurting more than usual and bothering me as I type this

My on and off boyfriend also texted me saying he got hit by a car a few hours ago (he's okay, apparently.... Although I question since he refused to go to a hospital). Stresses my poor heart out to hear that tbh. But yeah. Maybe I'll go on a night walk or something. I hate this house that I'm in. If Mr. Leonard lived any closer I would just walk back there and beg him to let me in. I would feel better if I was out of here and around compassionate people. I'm gonna be okay

[mrs-monaghan]

He is indeed hyung of relationship lmao. Let's see some examples ?

1. JM : like JK decided I'm the maknae of the group

Why JK decided he is hyung while JM is the youngest ? When he is even so conservative about not dropping honorific with his rest hyungs.

2. JK : JM be thankful you are younger than me 😏😏😏

Or else ? What he gonna do 😭 as if you are not literally acting like his husband already

3. Also JK : Still I sometimes remind myself he's hyung

This was 🤡🤡🤡 You need a reminder JM is elder than you and your hyung and someone you should obey according to hierarchy??? Isn't it like second nature to Koreans? But you need a reminder for that ?

4. JM : grow like that and protect me (9918188 times over these years)

Which hyung is asking his 2 yr younger one to protect him ? In rest groups and pairs we see 'Hyung/Unnie projecting their maknae' while it's opposite for Jimin and Jungkook lol

5. Now how outsiders (native koreans) see them :

* "Elder one, who was tall and so handsome was taking care of younger one, who was so pretty and petite. He was blowing him his hot soup, rolling his meat and even feeding him"

* "JK is younger than Jimin but it's actually JK who takes care of Jimin more. And I feel like Jimin is getting all cute when he's with Jk"

🙂🙂

I have already spoken about this moment here on this post but I'm gonna bring it back because I feel like no one appreciates it enough.

Hyung JK in action. Bon voyage season 4 episode 6.

Btw this was a satellite Jimin moment. He was on the other side then went to sit between JK and Suga. Anyway. Members are done eating and are just hanging by the fire. They then start discussing where they will sleep. Jimin says while looking at JK:

The night before he slept in the RV. So this night he wanted to sleep in the tent. Get the experience. So he turns to JK and says that 👆🏽 JK replies:

But then Jimin is like; babe, I don't think you understand, I will be in that tent with Suga

But JK super unbothered and very casual is like; go ahead, its cool. Sounds good

Like I mentioned before, JK doesn't have an issue with all Yoonmin moments. And he had no problem with the sleeping in the tent together.

What gets me about this though is how Jimin is clearly asking for permission here. Because he knows how JK feels about Suga. If that wasn't the case he wouldn't have specified he would be sleeping in the tent with Suga. But he did not want to upset bae and so he wanted to make sure JK was okay with it before he did anything.

The power JK holds y'all. Yeah, Jimin is in charge always but there are moments where JK pulls his hyung card and I'm sorry but that is just so 🔥 to me. The power the Jungkonda JK holds.

However, something else happens later that made me go ❓❓❓❓❓❓

When Hopekook go to bed Jimin comes inside the RV and hovers.

Like dude just stands there doing nothing. Like go watch and see, he stands there for a while doing nothing as Jhope and JK settle in.

I didn't understand why he did this. Like it could be a million things. This season Jimin really takes care of JK, pays more attention to him than usual because JK had been through alot. So it could be he was ensuring JK was settled before he left? Could it be he wasn't convinced JK was okay with the tent situation? Or, option 3 given to me by a friend, could it be that he was making sure JK was indeed sleeping with Jhope and not V who likes to cuddle people in his sleep? (We all know what happened in BV Malta when Taekook were cuddling and Jhope found them and couldn't wait to tell Jimin) Or option 4 was he there to make sure Jhope too doesn't cuddle JK in his sleep? I mean this is how Hopekook slept after all

They could have been avoiding the sun though. But still... I was sus 🧐🧐🧐

Anyway, Jungkook oppa FTW 🙌🏽 thanks anon!

[overmore]

Not to bring twt discourse here (but i have to because i like to yap and don't like the character limit the other site has, so this place is perfect for that) but the whole 'idv fics suck' argument is really funny for multiple reasons.

There are quite a lot of people who write well. It's just that people who write well write for ships that you don't really like or just write themes that are not for everyone and can be uncomfortable. They often also write for rare pairs, something that you can't really find if you only look at the most popular ships.

New writers are a thing too. Writing is a skill, it takes time. You can't expect someone who just wrote their first fic to write like someone who's been writing for a decade. And even that person who's been writing for a decade had to start somewhere. Taking me as an example, I've been writing since I was 2012, fanfiction specifically since 2013. It took me until 2020 when my writing got to a point where I don't cringe at it when I look back at it now. Writing for bsd was a turning point in my writing journey, and I appreciate it so much. I will look at certain choices I made and wonder why did I do that, but overall, it's a pleasant experience. But it took 8 years to get to that point, not 8 days or weeks or months. Years. Everyone's journey is different when it comes to fostering a craft, but it is usually on the longer side for most people.

Another thing I noticed when looking at the og tweet and replies/quotes is people being upset that fanon is a thing. Lol. Lmao even. Sticking to cannon with a game like idv isn't the most optimal in most cases since we don't even have much to go with in the first place. Headcanons are a natural thing, sometimes they're ooc and sometimes they're not. No one truly cares if they're having fun with what they write (which is what being part of the fandom is all about btw. having fun with what you create). Unless you are commissioning something, you don't get to be upset over how someone else portrays a character or ship.

Other things (that aren't just an idv fandom thing, it's something present in general fandom culture) that are also worth mentioning are just the lack of engagement, not wanting to interact with ongoing projects, G and T rated fics not getting much engagement unless it's from an established writer and just being plain mean and entitled with no gratitude. Let's also add complaints about not many platonic and f/f fics while we're at it too. There is a lot that can be unpacked here, but I don't wanna go there now, I think we've had this conversation too many times by now and no one wants to do anything about it.

Writers are an underappreciated part of the fandom, even in bigger ones. It's just harder to see it, or at least not as noticeable, but in a fandom like idv that doesn't have that much of an active fanbase at the moment, it very much is. If all you can do is complain about the lack of something, maybe you shouldn't be surprised that when you make a post complaining about it, that is full of people also complaining that people write things not palatable to them, calling certain types of fics 'slop', complaining over major archive warnings that you can FILTER OUT, freaking complaining about 'too much nsfw', you shouldn't be surprised when people don't want to write for the fandom :) Some of the writers I loved to read left around the time I started writing for it or even before. There are maybe a few that are still here and writing. I've also heard how things were before 2020 when people were actively harassing others for liking hunter/survivor ships. This fandom is not nice to writers at all.

The main reason I still write other than the fact that I love the characters and don't see myself leaving the fandom anytime soon, is because I also haven't experienced harassment much (which is wild considering what I do like to write). The main reason for this is my need to block people for even the slightest wording being off to me (a habit I pulled from my previous fandom that was also anti-infested at the time that I was in it). If I already wasn't like that, maybe my experience would've been different and I wouldn't be here as long as I have been.

And more often than not, people who complain about this aren't people who are creatives. They, in fact, never talk about fics they do like or anything that they like for that matter. If only a fraction of the energy spent on that was directed at fics they enjoy and the writers they like, maybe we wouldn't be having this problem, or it would at least be minimal. There are so many things that could be done to make the fic space nicer, but it requires effort. If all you can do in fandom is be a Shen Yuan  kinnie, maybe reconsider if being in the fandom is even something you should be doing or at least reconsider your approach to it.

[queenrei]

Let me start by saying, this is a Libra STAN account 🗣...I've always identified as a Scorpio (Tropical) sun, but ever since I finding out i'm actually a Libra (Sidereal) sun, I've been diving deep into learning more about Libra energy. I've always had a little interest in it, being that I was born on Scorpio-Libra cusp.

Scorpios may have a bad rep for their darkness, vengefulness, and secretive nature, but it turns out that Libras have it even worse 🙃 From the term "lying ass libra" to being labeled as shallow, fake, and two-faced, Libra's reputation is not great. Honestly, I get it and understand. I've definitely been guilty of all the stereotypes, and I've been actively working on correcting them as I grow/evolve. But I can't help but get frustrated by people's narrow-minded views (and that goes for all pop-astrology btw) to think that all people of one sign all behave the same way is nonsense...The sun is in it's detriment in the sign and as a Libra sun, throughout my life, I've felt a constant struggle between my true self and the expectations of surroundings. It's not about being fake or two-faced, but rather, I've come to realize that I possess a chameleon-like ability to adapt to any environment. I actually really appreciate this trait as it has allowed me to explore various experiences and meet new people due to my open-mindedness.

When it comes to being shallow or a people pleaser, it's actually deeper than it seems. Personally, I consider myself an empath, cliché as it may sound. Putting myself in someone else's shoes is my natural instinct. So even if someone annoys or upsets me, I can put on a nice face and keep the peace. Why? Well, first of all, I don't like upsetting people. But it's also a peace thing for me. Trust me, it's not just about being shallow or wanting to please others. It's about empathy and finding harmony. It's exhausting argue and go back-and-forths with people Sometimes, it's just easier to handle things with kindness. I know it's not the best approach, and it is one of my toxic traits. Not caring about people's opinion is a challenge, but I'm improving over time. I admire those who speak up for themselves, even if it leads to conflict. I'll get there. However, I also value my peace, so I'll always choose my battles wisely. One thing I've stopped doing is talking shit behind people's back after playing nice. It's not something I'm proud of.

Another point to make, and it might upset some people, but whatever. We have this reputation for playing both sides of the fence, which makes people think we're disloyal and fake. But the truth is, we can see things from all sides and look past the surface. Sometimes people will vent to me, but they get annoyed when I try to understand the other person's perspective or point out their own misconceptions. Then, will try justifying their delusions or getting mad at me for not taking their side. I'm done with it now. As adults, it's crucial to empathize with others before shaming/invalidating them. I'm all about playing devil's advocate, especially if it helps someone confront a harsh truth they need to hear. I used to bite my tongue, but now I couldn't care less. Especially when it comes to people close to me, honesty is key. No need to sugar coat things just to make yourself feel better. And I hope they'd do the same for me. That's what keeping the balance is really all about, in my opinion.

Ok my last & final thought is Libras are definitely not as shallow as some people think. I mean, seriously, have you ever actually tried to have a deep conversation with a one? When it comes to delving into the depths of our minds, it requires a certain level of comfort and trust. And trust me, my mind is always spinning, and it can get pretty damn dark. I thrive on deep conversations and can go for hours about a topic. I have a few people that I go there with, and even then I usually wait for that opening or invitation to go deep, and then it's off to the ocean floor we go. It's all about the vibe I get from the person. So, don't underestimate Libras, because there's more depth than you think.

Wow, i wasnt expecting to go in like that for my first post lol. This was in no way a sympathy call for Libras, but its been on my mind and i felt the need to let it out. I love all astrology takes so feel free to express your feelings/thoughts.

[anima-temporis]

apparently, im an intp

it's crazy how typology works.

yesterday late night i was watching umibe no étranger/stranger by shore with my best friend and she was like “dude, you're so Shun and I'm so Mio” so (since I can't live without pdb) we checked their typologies and Shun's typed intp 6w5. then after that i was like "bro, do you think im really an entp” and she was like “i don't know man, you're the one who knows all that typology stuff here” then we went on my absolutely trustworthy favorite typology websites and started like calculating my "cognitive function points" (which i then made into percentage so it was clearer) and what the freak. I've always doubted how my Ne function represented me because of my autism i tend to have very few interests and hobbies and they're usually in the same category (fiction it is) so y'know I don't really have “many different hobbies and interests”, I don't move much BUT on the other hand I always need to be doing something unless I'll be bored and boredom is a hellhole of a sensation so idk if that counts as "tending to be active", im also an extremely careful individual who absolutely hates new things and im not very impulsive so new experiences (be it planned or not) aren't really my thing, i like my comfort zone. anyways, my Ne score was 6 on 9 so 66% and the straw that broke the camel's back were both my besties saying im not exactly the most sociable person they know?? I GENUINELY THOUGH I WAS MORE EXTROVERTED THAN INTROVERTED BUT I GUESS THEY HAVE A POINT and just because i like people, im generally talkative and i like their presence (and seek it) it doesn't make me an extrovert not even a bit. ANYWAY, i got a 100% Ti function score (i think it was like 7/7) which i honestly expected but i never really thought it to be my priority but my friends made me notice just how much I don't have empathy (that pure feeling kind of empathy and not just the cognitively understand how a person COULD be feeling kind of empathy) and put logic and fact over feelings in any reasonment and that's why most of those moral things people do (like not dating the person their friend likes like that person is their property or something idk it doesn't really make sense to me but they say it's just right like that, anyway this is just an example) don't really make sense to me, how im slow at changing my opinions, how curious i am (about stuff im interested in but yeah, same thing). now letting alone my capacity to correctly applying logic in my head cause my brain apparently can't stand mental images (also graphics, counting (basic math too)) and messes them up and confuses me every time, writing down helps applying it better and by that i can do a full reasonment that makes sense. ALSO (im sorry this is long you probably don't even care) intp's functions stack is Ti-Ne-Si-Fe in which i can find myself more easily than a Fe-Si (tert, inf) stack, since Fe is the empathy lord function which I don't really use.

anyway, typology makes you insane i mistyped myself like 4 times in my studying journey (probably lifetime long)

btw shun is like one of my biggest kins ever,,,

[beanghostprincess]

when did you start watching the anime (also how/why)

and how many episodes do you watch per day to go that fast??? (im asking because im genuinely impressed)

It's a funny story, I think-

Basically, I was hanging out months ago (like, the start of this year?? End of last year?? I think??) with my brother and his friend at his friend's house and they were like "Oh! What if we watch One Piece? The first episode, cmon, Robin!" and I was like: "Fuck, no. Shit's too long. Not watching all that. I'm sure it's cool and you two love it but I'm sooo not getting into this". But then they wouldn't stop insisting and the show started playing out of nowhere and, like, I just wanted to eat my salad so I guess I just didn't care if they made me watch a few episodes. The salad was really good, btw.

Anyway: I watched the first two episodes and I kind of?? Fell in love?? With everything about it??? Luffy was so charming and early OP is amazingly beautiful in all the ways. I kind of miss the energy, honestly, sometimes. But I loved it. I laughed. And I was like "Oh, okay. This is good. I'm probably not watching the rest because there are a lot of episodes but, like, cool show, guys!"

Spoiler: I did watch the rest.

But I didn't watch more until February. I was on my period and when I'm on my period I get really, really sick and I feel like shit in general. And I wanted to watch something to distract myself from that torture. So I asked my brother where he watched the show in Catalan (here in Spain/Catalonia it's also dubbed in Catalan and let me tell you, it's one of the best dubs I've seen. It's SO good) and I started watching it for real then.

The thing is, I was really, really slow watching the show because I was studying at the time and I could only watch at night sometimes and in between classes or whenever the teacher wasn't in class (or, you know, I just did it without the teachers noticing. The hyperfixation was growing). Besides, I started talking to my brother's friend more and more and more (now he's kind of like my best friend??? What the fuck lmao) and I literally told him every fucking thing that happened so, yeah, I wasn't quick watching the anime at the time. I would've probably caught up by now if it wasn't because I didn't have much time to watch it then.

Then I started Arabasta, and ever since, me and my friend have been watching the show together on Discord (I started watching it in Japanese and subbed, then). We watch the show every single night (except when we're busy, but it doesn't happen often) and we usually watch, like, 6-10 episodes every day. That's the average amount, but we've pulled all-nighters before when we've watched like 20 episodes during the night (we watched Marineford like that and we kind of did that too with WCI).

I think I don't go THAT fast tbh I could watch more every day if it wasn't because I watch the show with him only because it's sort of an 'us' thing. Now I'm on episode 1015, so I guess I'll catch up with the anime soon! Then I'll catch up with the manga and then I'll cry because I'll have to wait for episodes/chapters every week. What a torture.

TL;DR: I started watching in February, because my friend and my brother told me to and I fell in love with the show, and I watch 6-10 episodes every day unless I'm busy or I pull an all-nighter.

Fun fact: I watched the Baratie arc exactly on Sanji's birthday this year. I think he was truly meant to be my favorite character.

Oh, and the only reason I wasn't online commenting on my experience watching it before is because I physically stopped myself from looking for content because I didn't want to get spoiled. When I got to post-time skip, I created this side blog!! So, if you want a lil bit of a timeline: Started watching in February, got to post-timeskip in September when I created this blog (so 516 episodes in kind of half a year) and now I'm on episode 1015 (so 499 episodes in three months). I think it's pretty obvious that I'm not studying anymore and I'm just working 20 hours a week, huh.

[noctiilio]

hi! why do you like LLS and Gengetsu so much? ^^

Okay so! I've already answered the question about the character of gengetsu in this tumblr post and this youtube video which yeah go check them out if you want to discover her and learn more about her personality, lore, behind the scenes design choices etc!

But if i were to answer this post, without paraphrasing anything ive said about her ? I'll have to talk about myself and the person i am, not her, to answer you properly.

We're about to get sad real fast this is an extremely vulnerable moment for me but everything about what makes gengetsu special to me IS vulnerable (which is why i never talked about it before but nows the time methinks)

1 - I'm also very reclusive and a bit of a dreamer

Dreams always are fascinating to me. Ever since i was small i'd get so caught up in my imagination i'd forget about the world around me. To extreme extents, may i add. Tripping over myself or running into poles may seem like exaggeration but it's not, i legitimately got sent to the nurse's multiple times because of it. My parents would get called to the teacher's office every year without fail because "nocti isn't there in class. Her mind isn't there at all, we're concerned about how well she'll perform". I did perform good, for some magical reason! But i was barely there. My mind is also very active at night. i tend to remember most of my dreams, which are all memorable in some kind of way. I always get excited to find out what i'll get to see when i'm going to sleep. I consider this some kind of entertainment! Sometimes I'll get dreamless nights, yes, and i wake up disappointed and just hope for better programming the next time i sleep. And the secluded dream world aspect, the whole "this is my place just for me" thing she has with Mugetsu also overlaps with what makes Flandre special to me, by the way. I'm also a little bit of a shut in and i like to bury myself into a pile of stuffed animals that take three quarters of the space on my bed, i have fairy lights, i like to be comfy. it's my little safe bubble. If you've seen my plush unboxing videos, like the custom gengetsu and the clownpiece i have, you'll know what my safe haven looks like! It's nice to put myself on my bed with my cat, burrowed under blankets and stuffed animals, and let my mind peacefully wander wherever it wants to. But yeah! This makes her being a dream denizen and the close knit purpose of her dream world really cool to me!

2- I have a similar personality.

I'm a little naive, believe it or not! It's probably another reason why i don't open up like this very often. You could tell me most things and i'd probably take them at face value. I'm just a little clueless. I'm curious, I'm cheerful, a little chaotic sometimes, well, if you follow me and my content you probably are aware of all that. I'm quick to protect the ones i care about. I'm usually the one who takes care of bad eggs in my friend circles. I'm not very confrontational, but when it comes to it, i'm somehow good at it…? But did you know at the same time i'm a HUGE crybaby? … I should not tell you this. WHY am i telling you this. ever since i was small i was always prone to the Weeeeeehhhhhh it's not faiiiiiir weeeeeh. It's not a bratty "things arent going my way" kind of WEEEH it's always been a "i am being wronged and i don't have the inner cool to express it" kind of WEEEH. But it WAS excessive. All it'd take was for my childhood friend (love you bestie btw) to get tiger face paint on and tell me she was gonna eat me for me to think it was real and start wailing. You know who else breaks into a frustration tantrum when you defeat her after lotus land story? You know, the stage where she hasn't done a single thing wrong to warrant reimu and marisa's intervention? YEAH.

3 - I, too, am an older sister.

This is probably the most central aspect that draws me to her, positive sisterhood is my favorite trope because it calls back to how I once was. I am the first born of my family, and i have four younger siblings, my uncles had children of their own which amounts to four little cousins. Counting me, thats nine children. I was between the ages of 3 and 13 when they were all born. I was always quick to get attached to them, I'd always show them cool older kid stuffs like showing my megabloks dragons collection to my infant brother who could not even sit yet. I gave it my all. And that applied outside of my family too i was everyones government assigned big sister as soon as i became verbal. We have vhs footage of 5 year old me at my mom's lord of the rings stage play (2003) cheering up a crying kid from my group because she had stage fright. I ripped that digitally for preservation so maybe one day i'll show you some bits of that it was neat.

Sadly it didnt last long and ive lost contact with two siblings and three cousins, because of adults taking sides in major arguments for good. I'll never see them again. I guess if you really wanna psychanalyze me there, little Gengetsu here resonates with my memories of before bonds began to shatter, you know?

The family kinship she has with Mugetsu is everything I wished I could've strived for but due to reasons outside of my control it never came to be, so that's why she's so special. She reminds me of the little nocti who still had her heart full.

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Thanks for reading! I hope you, too, have a character that's just as special to you. Tell me in the tags who's the character that resonates with you! Oh! And if you're a fan of the twins too, let's be friends, yeah?