#this is what i get for only joining this hellsite this year

[embers-of-the-oldest-lore]

@photomatt So I've noticed that you and the tumblr moderation team at large seem to view trans women as inherently sexual and in violation of the sites community guidelines by virtue of existing and before you start crawling through my side blogs and find That I do in fact have some content that is not tagged as well as it should be to remain in line with the strictest interpretation of the community guidelines on my sideblog, please know that I understand this and have come to terms with the fact that making this post will result in you taking advantage of this and removing my side blog and likely my primary blog as well.

However before you do this, I want to make sure that you have a full understanding of what you will be removing and in a grander sense what you have destroyed either through negligence or intentional malice by unfairly moderating Trans women on this website and allowing their harassers to thrive.

The girl in this picture was young and scared and trying so hard to be the man that she was supposed to be even though It meant pushing down a part of herself that was more real than anything she had ever actually lived before.

But then she found tumblr and was exposed to experiences like hers and people like her and was able to slowly become herself for the first time in her life. She had a joy and peace on this website that she would never be able to find in her real life.

It took time but eventually that joy and peace and freedom and exposure to so many other scared girls like her gave her the ability to finally admit she didn't have to or want to be the man that her family expected her to be. This is the last picture of her before she finally stopped giving up.

And it didn't happen all at once

There were problems, and stumbling blocks

But she had this site to come back to and find community and joy and she finally had herself

And now she's free and happy and full of so much joy.

She is so full of Love, and happiness, joy, and compassion for herself and the people around her

She lived and thrived and still finds so much joy in this community that saved her life.

I have found love, and kindness, and partners and friends on this hellsite. Most importantly I found a community. One that you would see destroyed. I know you don't actually care about any of this. You don't care about the unfair moderation on this site. You don't care about the trans women that are desperate for community. I don't think this is going to change your mind either. If I exist to you at all, it's only as a nuisance. You're just going to find some excuse to wipe my entire existence on this site that I have called home for twelve years away.

But i'm not really doing this for you.

I'm doing this because I hope that before you have the chance to wipe every trace of my exsistence from this website that some other girl that is just as scared as I was when I joined this community is able to see that there is hope, that things do in fact get better and that we can thrive and find family and a community. Part of me hopes desperately that Tumblr can continue to be a place for scared girls like I was and an even smaller part of me believes that this might find some place in your heart and take hold. But even if it doesn't, we will always find community. We will always find a place where we can become ourselves and find love and happiness and safety with people like us.

And to that scared girl

It gets better

I promise

: Your sister

[swholli]

Not that my weighing in on anything means anything, but here’s my two cents as a decade plus user:

Tumblr has a TERF problem and has had one for a while. The amount of content on this website that was built around the HP fandom in the early days I think is particularly why. JKR did her thing and there was already a built-in cushion of diehards who might not have even had a formed opinion likely became transphobic and transmisogynists in defense of their favorite series.

The truscum and TERF lesbians catapulted themselves to the center of this new bloc by using the usual prey upon tactics, only fortifying their following.

Like any space being leeched upon by the far right, Tumblr was never really a place to take a foothold before as it was largely viewed as the SJW site- better to attack (like 4chan did) than to join. But it’s different now. It’s the last beacon of non-algorithmic social media. Sure the hardcore Nazis mostly stayed on Twitter post-Musk but you have to think how many of the TERFs who identify as LGB (no T) would leave a worse hellsite for this one.

What I’m getting at is, if you’ve been paying attention to the Tumblr ecosystem for as long as I have, you notice the trends. This issue has been festering for awhile, to claim as a CEO for the site that it’s misinformation is to ignore countless user experiences, most of us who’ve been using this site since before the acquisition by said CEO and company.

We’ve had this issue for years now, we’ve been trying to tell you, and you’ve done next to nothing. This is unacceptable and the backlash you’re getting from this is hubris.

[alexanderwales]

I finally got to the part of the FF7 remake with Aerith, who was never my favorite. I've been trying to figure out what about her puts me off, and I'm coming up blank, but it's probably something also that put me off her when I was thirteen.

I was going to hypothesize that it was a weird sort of tradwife energy I get from her — that is, she's a character designed to appeal to men who want that — but then I went looking for some discourse (always a mistake) and people are saying that Tifa is the tradwife?

Do I not know what this word means? Am I forgetting major parts of FF7?

My understanding was that "tradwife" meant "traditional wife" and was like ... happy domesticity and staying home with the children to cook and clean while your spouse goes off to work, traditional gender role stuff, conservative clothes, stuff like that. Aeris wears a pink dress and sells flowers, while Tifa fulfills the classic male fantasy of "childhood friend who joined an ecoterrorist cell", which was what always appealed to me about her.

I think it's fine to want a domestic role, and I was a stay-at-home dad doing the childcare, cooking, etc. for many years, which is different in that it's non-traditional and no one was making me wear an ankle-length dress. That archetype of woman, to the extent it even existed twenty-five years ago, has never appealed to me though. It was my understanding that to the extent Aeris was supposed to be appealing, it was in that direction, particularly because her role in the party as a healer.

I think my mistake was following links that led to Twitter, which is easily the worst of the hellsites, but now I'm just confused about how people are using words and/or interpreting characters.

(I don't think she's in the part of the remake I'm playing, but my favorite of the girls at thirteen was Yuffie, because the only thing that beats ecoterrorism is an obnoxious ninja/thief. Sadly, I think I'll probably just find her annoying this go around, if or when she shows up.)

[beefrobeefcal]

Tah-tah 2023!

I can be a sentimental beef sometimes, but I will try to keep that to a minimum for brevity’s sake.

When I joined this community as the Beefro you know, I was struck by how quickly people were willing to interact and engage - randomly appearing in my inbox and dm’s. Some of the people I’ve met on here have become such dear friends to me over the past six months that I consider them just as important as the ones I have face-to-face interactions with. I’ve never been apart of an online community in this way before and I’m thankful.

I'm thankful for not only the people I've met, but for Pedro bringing us together. And for the absolutory depraved smut he has inspired us to expel and devour. Seriously. I have never felt so... so... full of yearning for a fictional character, enough so to propel me into writing an AU about him in a Boston.

All jokes aside, though, I am even more thankful for the hard work you have put into the pieces of fiction that deserve far more recognition that this hellsite can muster. I have have laughed, cried, screamed, wailed, felt joy and sorrow, felt fulfilled and empty from the fics I have read this year, and I cannot wait to see what you have for 2024.

I know that for many, 2023 threw lemons the size of blue whales at you and I’m thankful that you’re here and still sharing with us! I’m grateful for your vulnerability and to see that we are not alone in our hurt. I think this year, I’ve learned that ‘Misery loves company’ is not about finding others to fester with; it’s about getting through with the support of your mutual strugglers. I love this take. And I love you.

Another lesson I have learned is to not be competitive. I have a fantastic core community here in the Bistro and #beefro-is-blessed. But that doesn’t stop the little nagging voice that says ‘you’ll never have that many followers’ or ‘you’re too niche for your fics to get any more interactions’ when I see the engagement other writers get. I’m learning to be ignorant to that voice because I write for me. And for you (if you want it. If not, I love you anyway). And everyone in this community deserves to be celebrated for their contributions and achievements, no matter how big or small.

I know I’m not everyone’s cup of tea, but you’ve never been anything but kind. This reformed emo loner never knew this could be a thing and I don’t take this for granted. My resolution for 2024 is to be more present and supportive of the community that reminded me how much I love storytelling. And also, to go to space…

Oh look at me going on… brevity’s sake indeed.

Beefro👌🥩💜

PS: A gigantic, huge, beautiful, smudgy, wet kiss to each of you. And a special thanks to my repeat offenders: @theywhowriteandknowthings @neverwheremoonchild @thehalflifeofloveisforever @toxicanonymity @xdaddysprincessxx @noxturnalpascal @gasolinerainbowpuddles @sheepdogchick3 @wintrwinchestr @deathsholywaterr @clawdee @pedroshotwifey @gwendibleywrites @thehandalorian @vabeachazn @fullldash @harriedandharassed @nerdieforpedro @romana-after-dark @umnitsa @rebel-held @yahtiwakitakos @pop-sugar102 @sp00kymulderr @covetyou @yorksgirl @pr0ximamidnight @blackmetalamazon @chute-etoiles @josephquinnswhore @ghoulettesinspace @suzdin @silkniche @bonezone44 @fhatbhabie @emilyjustemily @famoushoneybee @maryrhodalouandted @missredherring @iamasaddie @lost-in-relative-dimensions @quinnnfabrgay ... and many, many more! (if i missed, you, send me a dm and I'll atone for my sins)

[all-risejd]

A New Judgment Chapter 3: Decisions and Meddling (Poly Judgment Day Fic)

Written by Scarletxraine who can’t seem to remember to post to this godforsaken hellsite so has me post here for your enjoyment!

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7.

Nessa is sitting at the nurse's station towards the end of her shift charting when she hears the receptionist on her walkie. "Nurse Klein, you have a personal call on line 1"

"Thank you" She answers, knowing to not piss off the front desk people. She sighs before she answers the phone, having a good idea who is on the other end. "Nurse Klein pediatrics unit, how can I help you?" There is silence for a moment on the other line before a familiar voice speaks.

"Mijita please hear me out." Comes Rey's voice and Nessa slams the receiver down and pinches the bridge of her nose.

"What's that about boss lady?" Her friend and fellow nurse Olivia asks, taking a seat next to her and begins charting herself.

"Dom's father" Comes her muffled reply as her face is now in her hands.

"We saw what happened last night, fuck him." The young nurse comments showing solidarity with her boss and friend.

Nessa lifts her head and looks at Olivia and cracks a small smile. "Thank you, Liv. He has created such a mess and now I don't know what to do." Nessa laments and leans back in her chair.

"Babes just block the lot of them!" Olivia suggests and shrugs her shoulders as she keeps typing away.

"Liv, I was offered a job, there is already a plan in place here to replace me if I agree and it is more than triple what I make in a year, and it is a three-year contract." Olivia spits out her water she just took a swig of as Nessa explains.

"As what? A nurse? You gonna wrestle or what?!" Olivia rapid fire questions before one of her call lights go off. She goes to take care of it. Nessa sighs in relief that doesn't last long as her walkie comes on again.

"Nessa, that call is back on line 1. Is something going on?"

"Ignore all calls from that number please. I'm sorry it's my ex's father trying to meddle." She explains rolling her eyes.

"That is perfectly fine, thank you for letting us know. By the way you have another call on line 2 now. It's a different number" The voice says. Nessa groans and answers the second line.

"Nurse Klein Pediatrics unit how can I help you?"

"Mi corazon" Dom's voice comes through.

"Dom, I'm at work. We aren't together anymore. Pet names aren't going to make it all better so please just stick to my name. What do you need and please make it quick I am dealing with sick kids." She is a little colder than she wants to be.

"I know about the contract. Paul told us it is a possibility, but it is ultimately up to you. I know this is the only way to contact you at work and I just want to say do what will make you happy. You have spent too long worrying about me and my happiness. You need to focus on yourself. If you decide to sign the contract and join us I will follow your lead. I'll refuse anything that will make you uncomfortable, my priority will be you." Nessa hears a sharp, "T oo much bro ," that she assumes is Damien in the background and rolls her eyes.

"Give me the phone Dom Dom" She hears Rhea command. "Listen, sweetheart, just do you and fuck the rest. Sorry for Dom Dom disturbing you at work. Get back to it doll." Rhea apologizes before hanging up the phone. Nessa looks at the receiver confused before slowly hanging it up.

"What in the world." She mutters to herself as Olivia comes back.

"What he called again?" Olivia sits back down.

"Yes, and Dom called too. He told me to do what makes me happy." She answers, and Olivia rolls her eyes.

"Aww that's sweet but too little too late. Now about that contract. Explain now." Olivia is practically bouncing in her chair.

"Uh, a double contract, medical team, and talent. Basically, an escort to the ring and getting involved and relationship stories. It may turn to wrestling so I would have to train. Right now I have my cousin looking at it."

"Are you going to do it?"

"Maybe, I don't know. There is a possibility I would have to pretend to be back together with him or even do a triangle." Nessa starts to chew on her thumbnail again.

"Could you handle that?" Olivia looks worried.

"On camera, yes, behind the scenes that would hurt almost too much," Nessa admits.

"Would you take him back if he asked?"

Nessa doesn't immediately answer, only the clacking of keyboards filling the silence. Nessa finally answers. "There are some complications if it came to that, he hurt me Liv but there is something there that I need to know, to understand. He would have to earn my trust before I even would consider it even with the complication." Olivia looks confused and like she was going to ask for clarification, but Nessa's walkie cuts her off.

"Nessa, you have yet another personal call on line 1." Nessa thanks them before answering the phone.

"Look, I'm at work and I would very much like to not be fired for taking personal calls on the clock!"

"Nessa, it's Abe. I am doing you a favor for free so I'd appreciate it if you would drop the attitude." Nessa looks chagrined and Olivia laughs.

"I'm sorry Abe, I've been getting calls from Dom and his dad for the last hour or so and got fed up." She apologizes

"It's alright, I know work calls are supposed to be an emergency, so since this is time sensitive, I wanted to tell you I'm done going over the contract and to call me when you get home. I am surprised how good of a contract it is for you." He responds, short sweet and to the point.

"Thanks Abe, I owe you one or 5," She thanks her cousin before hanging up. She looks to Olivia who gives her the spill look. "He said he is surprised how good it is for me and to call him as soon as I get home."

"And does that help your decision at all? When do you have to decide?" Olivia signs out of the computer.

"Not in the slightest." Nessa shrugs.

"Girl there is something you aren't telling me, spill!" Olivia turns her chair to face Nessa.

"I can't, it isn't my business to tell, maybe some other time ok it's time to do the hand off and I have an important call to make." Nessa avoids answering, earning a light glare from her friend. Once home Nessa changes out of her scrubs and calls her cousin. Once the niceties are out of the way he gets down to explaining.

"They don't give you creative control, however, you do get to veto certain aspects of stories. And it is your decision if you want to get physical and must be made in advance. You will be the medical assigned to The Judgement Day for the most part. The contract is more than fair and if they release you from it, they have to pay out the full three-year salary to you. Whoever was involved had your back when this was written. No matches whatsoever unless both parties agree, and this Paul approves and a medical team clears it. I see no loopholes, it is very geared towards you. "

"Well, that would be Rey. His plan, he wants me to get back with Dom and to manipulate him away from the group he is in now. It's his backwards way of apologizing. And a half-assed attempt to incentivize me to do it. What should I do?" She asks as she begins to prepare her dinner.

"You are the party wronged here; it is up to you to decide if he has done what was needed to be forgiven. Before all this you applied to work there and here is your chance even though you aren't with him anymore. Maybe you'll meet a nice boy to marry." He teases and Nessa Scoffs.

"Now you sound like our moms." She groans.

"Look Nes, I'm not telling you to do it but seriously consider it. You can go back to working in hospitals after." He advises and adds, "And as your favorite cousin I think it would be awesome. Speaking strictly as your cousin and not your lawyer I think you should".

"That's why you are my favorite cousin, you are honest." She praises

"And I give you legal advice for free, you owe me a batch of potato candy," he tells her serious about the potato candy.

"Thanks, Abe, I'll bring it next time I come over." She hangs up the phone and sets her bowl on her coffee table and grabs the remote to watch the second night of WrestleMania.

Nessa wakes up the next morning with a splitting headache that she attributes to the stress of the day before. She lays there in bed debating on whether or not she would go in to work. Her thoughts are interrupted by her phone ringing. She sees an unknown number and answers it hesitantly.

"Hello."

"Good morning, Miss Klein, It's Paul, HHH. I know it's early and I apologize, But I would like to have The Judgement Day do a promo to potentially set up for your debut if you decide to join us."

"It's your show sir you can do as you like, you don't have to ask me."

"Well, I do. If we are using your name and likeness with you not being contracted as of yet we need permission to protect against litigation. Also, Have you thought about the offer?" He asks and Nessa slowly gets out of bed and begins getting ready while answering,

"I have been thinking about it and no I don't have an answer yet sir. I still need more time to think on it still. However, I think I'll have my answer by tomorrow sir, yes go ahead and do the promos." She gets her shoes on. The phone call having made the decision for her so she can have some peace.

"That is no problem and thank you, Miss Klein. I do want to let you know if you do say yes we will need to immediately fly you out so you can get your health checks done and start training on how to take bumps if you are going to get physically involved. I'll talk to you again soon." He finishes the call and Nessa groans, grabbing her keys and heading to work. Having decided to give it a try even with her migraine. That way she doesn't have to answer her cell phone which she is sure will be ringing off the hook.

When she gets to the hospital, she makes sure to bring coffee to the front desk as a form of apology for the previous day and for the incessant calls that are sure to happen today. "Please unless it is an emergency take a message don't worry about passing the call along. My ex's father is being relentless, wanting us back together, and is meddling. His mom and sister will try to call too." She warns them and apologizes again before loading the elevator to go to her floor. She goes a few hours into her 12-hour shift before her walkie comes on from the front desk.

"Nurse Klein, Oscar has called 5 times and wants you to call back when you can, an Aalyah has called once and said please call asap it's important and you are needed in the Nurse Manager's office, someone is floating to your floor to cover your patients while you are there." As the front desk finishes speaking the elevator opens and another nurse comes in and up to the station. Nessa gives him the rundown before going to her boss's office.

About an hour later Nessa is back on her floor, her head hurting worse than before mumbling to herself. "it's not my fault the company got involved, I can't stop them from constantly calling self-righteous prick" Olivia hears her grumbles and shakes her head feeling bad for her friend.

"Sounds like your hands are getting tied. Evan always had an issue with women supervisors, and they just handed him the ammo he needed." She points out to Nessa who lays her head in her arms. The floater nurse is still dealing with her patients.

"I almost have no choice, Because of the meddling and calls I now have a target on my back. Even after I'll have to go work at a different hospital." She groans

"If you leave them and don't start dating any of those extremely attractive people that work for that company. I know you are Hella flexible." Olivia teases and Nessa flips her off her head still in her arms.

"Well even if I don't decide I think I need to go to another hospital I can't work with him anymore," Nessa thinks aloud.

"Oh please, we both know you are going to sign that contract. You want closure and it is good money. Plus who knows like I said I saw how you were with those two guys after Dom's fight. And the one that showed you out." Olivia continues to tease and Nessa's head jerks up.

"What that was shown too! And what was said!?" Nessa begins to spiral.

"Calm down, it was at a distance we couldn't hear anything, just saw you making eyes mutually with the tall one. I don't know his name. I don't normally follow the WWE but I'll have to start." Olivia tries to calm her friend who is rubbing her temples now.

"That is Damien, and he constantly flirts, every other word is a cutesy nickname. I did not make eyes at him!" Nessa denies, and Olivia gives her a look like " Sure " and just laughs. "Look since I have a floater covering me, I am going home early, I'll call you because apparently the decision has been made for me." Nessa gets up and hugs Olivia. "Once I give my answer I have to fly out and get testing done as well as start training immediately." She explains, saying goodbye without saying the words and gathering up her stuff.

"Go and call me as much as you can, I need the tea. Especially if you get with tall dark and broody!" Olivia calls out as Nessa boards the elevator and glares out as the doors close.

Once Nessa is in the car, she can't help but start crying, so she just sits there wallowing, overwhelmed because yet again a Mysterio has wrecked her life. She finally collects herself and wipes the tears off her cheeks and goes to start the car, ignoring her cell phone ringing. Nessa just lays on her couch under her weighted blanket trying to find some semblance of comfort, just staring at the tv. Eventually, she gets annoyed at the phone ringing and answers after looking at the caller id.

"Yes Aalyah?" She sniffles, still crying on and off.

"I thought the plan was to get you two back together. You are my sister and I thought it might work and you'd be happy again. You haven't been yourself since he left. I didn't know they were going to try to manipulate him by using you. I was just so excited and wanted Dom to suffer for hurting you. I didn't think it through. I am so sorry. I should have spoken up for you and put my anger for him aside to protect you."

"In your eagerness to punish Dom you hurt me. I see you understand why that is bad and you feel true remorse for it. So, I appreciate that Aalyah, and I accept your apology. But understand I'll need time, it won't be as it was between us for a while."

"I understand Ness." She sighs in relief and continues, "Look he is an idiot for what he did to you. We thought he would marry you, Hell, he gave you the bracelet." She complains and Nessa sits up.

"Yeah well, I gave it back. I am honored to be a part of its history but it's not rightfully mine." She explains to Aalyah who is shocked into silence. "Pops is still meddling, he got them to give me a contract and buy out my current one at work and had it in place for me to say yes. I basically quit today because it put a target on me from my boss so I have no choice now." Nessa groans, glad to have someone on the inside to talk to again.

"I think I overheard something about that Saturday, but I wasn't sure that's why I didn't tell you. I think I might be part of that too. I'm sorry for the calls, Dad asked me to call you at work I'm sorry I didn't know." She apologizes again, beginning to see how desperate her parent are and are hurting someone innocent in the situation. "Look since you are apparently doing it, you can get back at Dom for what he did or even get back together with him," Aalyah continues and Nessa groans and throws her head back.

"Not this again, I just want him to be happy and for me to finally move on. He is happy with who he is with, and I support that. And I won't be trying to split them up." Nessa tells her sternly.

"Fine fine, maybe you can find someone else to make you happy. Maybe like-" Aalyah starts but Nessa cuts her off seeing where that is going.

"Aalyah no not you too. You sound like Abe and Olivia. There wasn't anything between us."

Aalyah starts laughing, "Sure, Nes nothing there besides sexual tension even though you just met. But I'll leave it be for now." She agrees.

"Also please tell your parents to stop calling me, if and when I am ready to talk I will. You wanted to make things right then back me up please." Nessa almost begs.

"Of course, sis, I have your back always. Just answer one question." Aalyah takes the silence as a go-ahead. "What are you going to wear? Either way, they won't be able to keep their eyes off you." Aalyah asks all sorts of giddy.

"Goodbye Aalyah I'll talk to you later." Nessa hangs up the phone tired of the teasing. She looks at the time and decides to tune into Raw.

She watches interested, as HHH comes out and thanks everyone behind the scenes even friends and family who support and he glances at the camera as says it. She listens as he continues his speech and is confused as he doesn't bring her up but introduces Roman Reigns. She rolls her eyes and just picks up her phone to read through her text messages. She sees many from Dominik and a few from the remaining judgment day members that she saved as they initially texted her, and she ignores them not having the energy to expend to have any of those conversations. There is only one she responds to.

"Hey, just want to make sure you are ok, I know we laid a lot on you Saturday." Rhea's message was to the point.

"Yes, I am ok, just dealing with the fallout from the mess Rey caused it isn't anything to do with what we discussed. Though I don't know how to answer you either." She responds, not paying any attention to Cody and Roman in the ring.

"Don't worry about it. When you are ready to discuss that we'll be here beautiful. Though I do have to say you have some good chemistry with us." She points out.

"That is just because you are all insanely attractive," Nessa texts back.

"And so are you, don't go putting yourself down again we won't allow that even as friends" Rhea orders making Nessa smile to herself.

"Yes Mami" Nessa responds jokingly but gets a shock back.

"Good girl." Is all it says, and Nessa lets out a squeak and her face flushes again and she is grateful she is home alone. She turns her attention to another text message that just came in.

"Chiqui, I hope you watch Raw tonight. Maybe it will sway your decision so we will see you again soon."

"At least he only messages me and doesn't blow up my phone." She mutters to herself and glances at the tv again to see Bad Bunny being interviewed and she rolls her eyes as Rey's music comes on after and makes his entrance into the ring before grabbing a mic.

"I want to take a moment to thank you the WWE universe because you have welcomed me with open arms. Thank you. I also want to apologize to someone who should be my daughter-in-law Nessa. I was wrong to bring her to WrestleMania and would like to apologize face to face later this week on Smackdown if you would Mijita." Nessa leans forward as he then thanks Bad Bunny before Austin Theory's music comes on and he comes out to the ring challenging Rey to a match. She clasps her hands together as a ref comes out and the match eventually starts.

She keeps a close eye on the match having a gut feeling Dominik is going to interfere and she isn't disappointed as he runs down the ram and jumps on the apron as Rey sets up a 619 and gets hit. He falls to the ground Damien not too far behind him helping him up. They stay there until Austin wins the match and Damien tells Dom to get in the ring and Damien winks at the camera before following Dominik in the ring as he beats on his dad who is just laying there.

Not long after he turns his attention to Bad Bunny and jumps out of the ring standing in front of him trading words Bunny claiming he did the right thing. Dominik turns to walk away, and Bunny runs his mouth again

"She's better off without you."

Dom turns around throwing a punch only for it to be blocked and Bunny punches him instead. He falls to the floor scooting back, Damien rushing to his side to check on him. Damien throws up his arms before yanking Bunny over the barricade and throwing him to the ground yelling at him, "You didn't need to get involved bro".

Bunny gets to his feet and shoves Damien back. Dom grabs Bunny and spins him around throwing another punch only for it to get blocked again and get another punch to the face. Damien, fed up by now throws his arms up again and drops Bunny and takes off his jacket. Damien then drags Bunny over to the announce table and slams him through it.

"You don't get to mention her, don't even think about her." he growls out and Dom pats his shoulder in thanks before jumping back in the ring and grabbing Rey and stomping on him for a bit. He then exits the ring and makes his way up the ramp next to Damien. They pause at the top of the ramp, Damien's arm around Dom's shoulders repeating,

"You shouldn't have gotten involved," And they watch as Rey and the medical team rush over to check on Bunny before the Tv goes to commercial. She gets up and paces for a while, knowing that was the opening for her to join, tapping her phone against her lips. She glances at the tv as she sees Rhea confront Bianca Belair.

She finally decides to hit dial and holds the phone up to her ear.

"Hello, Miss Klein." Comes the voice on the other end and Nessa takes a breath "I'll do it."

[cringefail-hermitry]

I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.

It's gonna be a long one

Like, *LONG* long

Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)

First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.

I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.

Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.

@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.

So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").

Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.

The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.

Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.

Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.

@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!

@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.

Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.

Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)

@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.

@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.

Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.

And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).

This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.

[whatislovevavy]

8. What Am I Supposed to Do Now?

Jake Seresin x OC (Caledonia Hughes)

WC: 2.8k

Masterlist  Previous Part   Next Part

Warnings: swearing, mentions of smut (18+),  mostly angst

AN: This one’s angsty y’all, not gonna lie. And a bit shorter than the others, but fear not, the next one will be longer :) Thank you @sebsxphia for the encouragement to write this story when it was in development, it means the world <3 Also a big thank you to @royallyprincesslilly for the design of the divider.

Please consider leaving a comment, a tip, or reblogging, leaving likes doesn't do anything on this hellsite. It helps with motivation when writing and the tips help since I’m between jobs at the moment :)

All of my writings will be added to my writing side blog @sophs-writing-nook 

These characters, except for Caledonia and Ella, are obviously not my own. This is an 18+ fanfic, so minors scoot pls. You are responsible for the media you consume. Do not copy, plagiarize, repost, or translate this fic without my explicit permission as it is my own creation. 

Jake pensively hit the backspace button on his phone's touch pad. 

He knew at the back of his mind that he should be telling you this in person.

The swing of the break room door broke him from his stare at his screen.

"Anyways, we're going on a date next Saturday to the aquarium in the city," Bradley said with a small lopsided smirk as he walked in with Natasha and Javy. 

"What's this I hear about Rooster finally getting a woman to go out with him?" 

Rooster flipped Jake off as he got his lunch from the fridge, making Natasha let out a small laugh, and Javy quirk his lip. 

"So what's her name, how'd you meet her?"

Bradley closed the fridge with a click, striding towards the table Jake was settled at. 

"Her name's Ella, she's a grad student at UC San Diego. Met her at that coffee place you recommended last week, got her number, and have been texting since." 

He flashed Jake a grin. 

Jake furrowed his brows, a soft hum leaving his lips. 

It couldn't have been your Ella, could it? UC San Diego was a big school, there was definitely more than one Ella there.

Soon Javy and Phoenix joined them at the table. 

"What?"

Rooster broke him from his deep in thought glance as he softly stirred the left over beef stew.

But at this point, he couldn’t stomach the previously delicious stew you made for him. It only served as a reminder of what he was about to do, and for what he didn’t have the courage to do. 

"Nothing, Caledonia has a friend in her grad program named Ella." 

Bradley’s lip quirked.

“Cali is biochem, right?”

Jake nodded. 

A soft hum left Bradley’s lips, “Yeah, that might be the same one. So, noticed you’ve been spending a lot of time with her lately, what's the deal?”

Jake felt his heart freeze.

He shrugged, nonchalantly, trying to exude that same Hangman confidence and bravado.

“Nothing too serious, just helped out with a few things Penny asked me to do for her.”

Natasha almost bent her fork in her hand as his words registered. 

Did he not know how much he meant to her?

Jake could feel her piercing stare, but chose to keep his attention on Bradshaw. 

Javy’s gaze was more marked with the subtle signs of pity as he worked his way through his wrap. 

Jake couldn’t decide which one felt worse. 

Rooster took a bite of his lunch, “ya know, I’ve been meaning to ask, why do you call her by her full name?”

Was it getting hot in here? He wouldn’t be surprised if the answer was yes, considering the time of year. 

If Javy hadn’t known him all these years, he would have missed the flash of panic behind the thick curtain of confidence that was slowly becoming a thin veil. 

He shrugged, “I was always taught to treat women that give me booze with the utmost respect, hence the full name.”

Bradshaw nodded, letting his eyebrows raise, “But what about Penny? You call her Pen all the time.”

Natasha smirked slightly around her forkful of lunch. 

Jake swallowed, “Well, that’s different… I’ve known Penny for a lot longer than Caledonia.”

Rooster leaned back, furrowing his brow, and biting the inside of his cheek. 

“Ok, but why did you leave the Hard Deck with her last week?”

Jake took a deep breath, “She needed help with her car before she headed home. I was at the bartop paying my tab and Penny asked me to help her. What is this anyway? An interrogation? You gonna ask me about every woman I’ve talked to?”

Bradshaw smirked, “Just curious, Bagman, no need to get defensive,” he put his hands up in surrender, thoroughly enjoying seeing his former rival riled up. 

Javy bit back a smile. 

"Yeah, Bagman, don't need to get your panties in a bunch." 

Natasha smirked as Jake shot her daggers. 

"If I were wearing panties, they would be the most unbunched pair you'd ever seen." 

Jake grumbled, sending a glare to his teammates as they laughed and snorted. 

“Plus, it’s not that way with her. We’re just friends.”

Jake took a spoonful of stew, purposefully avoiding his colleagues unimpressed glances. 

“Right.”

Jake glared as Phoenix took a bite of her sandwich.

“Alright, I think that’s enough teasing. Can’t waste all our material in one day.”

Javy shot him a wink as Jake flipped him off, his remaining colleagues breaking into soft chuckles.

The topic was diverted to the back burner for the time being, to the point where Jake forgot about the text he planned to send. 

Conversation flowed from when the new recruits were coming in, to summer plans, and to different get togethers on weekends planned within their friend group. 

A small sense of panic ran through him as Phoenix suggested that Caledonia be invited to all of their summer plans. Including their Barbenheimer-themed pool and BBQ party in July.

He guaranteed Caledonia wouldn’t want to come if he was there after the message he was typing out was sent. 

Soon it was time to wrap up and head back out to the briefing room and get ready to fly in the latter portion of the day.

Jake took one last pensive glance at his phone.

This is better. For the both of us.

Jaw tensing, he pressed send. 

He cleaned up the rest of his lunch and left the breakroom in a silence coated by the soft buzzing of the overhead lights and the impending crack of broken hearts.

—

A sigh left your lips. 

How could you have been so stupid?

You should have read the label more clearly before measuring it out. 

Your mind swam with detrimental thoughts of the days failed experiment. 

The cells you spent the previous day growing were wasted when you accidentally put too strong of a solvent after the cells were centrifuged.

It also didn’t help that Ella was away presenting at a conference at the other side of the country.

Frankly, you just wanted to go home, take a nice shower, nestle into your sheets, and forget about the frustrating day you got out of. 

A sigh left your lips as you settled into the drivers seat of your car, feeling your frustration dissipate from your body, and be quickly filled with exhaustion.

You bit the inside of your lip as you waited for your phone to turn on and see any messages you missed. 

The thought of texting Jake to see if he wanted to come over crossed your mind. 

A small smile formed at the thought.

Message from well-fed raccoon :) not downloaded.

You opened the app, tapping on his contact icon. 

Your brows furrowed, heart plummeting to the deepest parts of your chest. 

We shouldn't do this arrangement anymore. I'm sorry. 

You couldn't help but read over the two sentences. Over and over again. Hoping, praying, that they would be something different.

A rattled sigh left your lips, letting your eyes clench shut, and head hit your seat. 

Tears pricked your eyes. A dribble quickly turning into a torrential downpour. 

Soon, your car was wracked with the repeated, frenzied collisions of your head against the upholstery of your driver's seat. 

You stopped with one final hit of your head against the faux leather portion of the head rest, feeling your scowl morph into a groan ridden scowl.

Why the fuck did this have to happen?

What was wrong with you? 

Not only did you have to worry about attracting someone, but now you had to worry about keeping them. 

Was it your weight? 

Your busy schedule? 

Did he find out about your depression? Anxiety?

You did your damndest to ensure that Jake knew nothing of that part of you. 

Your lip quivered as you broke into a sob marked by wails and sniffles, no different from that of a wounded animal. 

God, you couldn’t help but feel that this was coming. 

This arrangement; it was all too good to be true. 

You scoffed through your tears. 

You shouldn’t have been so stupid. 

He was called Hangman for a reason. 

Your virginity. Your very first experiences with sex.

Your eyes shut as you realized the gravitas of this risk, only sobbing harder.

What if he had only wanted you because you’d never been with anyone else?

This was absolutely devastating. 

The world was crashing down around you. You couldn’t breathe with how hard you had started crying, unable to help the feeling of violation that invaded your veins like a poison, turning your blood to a thick sludge, making your heart beat like an engine in overdrive to compensate. 

In your blurry eyed, emotionally compromised state, you only wanted to hear one voice.

Penny’s.

She’d understand.

You didn’t want to explain to your mom that you developed a ‘situationship’ with a deadly man and that it bit you in the ass. Hard. 

The familiar rumble of the engine filled your car. You swiped away at the continuously flowing tears and mustered enough energy and a sliver of mental clarity to get home safe. 

—

“Hey, Cali, how was-”

Penny’s word died on her lips.

The sunny San Diego weather backdropped your teary, red eyes and cheeks, curled lips, and tears streaming down your pretty face. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” she strode towards you, encasing you in a hug as you reached out to her, “what’s wrong?”

You sniffled, burying your face into her sweater-clad shoulder.

“Sweetheart, I can’t hear you.”

You lifted your head from her chest. 

“Jake doesn’t want me anymore.” 

Penny’s heart broke at the sight, gently pulling you back to her, wrapping you in her embrace as sobs wracked your body. 

Her heart continued to crack for you with each sob and gasp you let out, gently running her hand through your hair.

You tried not to think about how Jake would do the same thing when he kissed you. 

He used to bring you so much joy, but now you felt hypersensitive to even the thought of Hangman. 

Touching you. 

Speaking to you. 

Looking at you. 

How he cuddled with you when you slept over that one night.

How he made breakfast with you the next morning.

How he knew your favorite flavor of gelato from Francisco’s. 

How he bought you $300 worth of sex toys.

Was this all some kind of sick game to him? 

It made your breathing difficult and skin crawl. 

How could you have let someone in so close, and know every inch of your body?

“Shhh, Caledonia, it’s ok… let it out.”

Penny knew that Hangman had a reputation. Anyone who frequented the Hard Deck knew that.

But she saw the way he looked at Caledonia when she was busy preparing drinks. Or when she was fixing the juke box. Or wiping down tables. 

Penny’s hope for the relationship to succeed was overshadowed by the bubbling sense of anger in her belly. 

How could Hangman do such a thing to you? 

What was your situation with him exactly?

She continued to soothe you. 

“Cali, I’m so sorry… would you want me to call Ella to come over?”

You shook your head, “Ella’s at a conference, and I don’t want to make her worried,” the lump in your throat evident with each break from sniffling.

Penny’s eyebrows furrowed.

You didn’t tell your bestfriend, because you didn’t want to worry her?

Hangman was such an asshole for letting you go. 

To both himself, and you. 

“Ok, I’m going to call Halo and Phoenix and see if they can come over. Ok? Would that help?”

You nodded, lip quivering as another round of sobs made your body crumple against hers. 

“What am I," sniffle, "supposed to do now?” 

Your sob-ridened words made Penny’s heart ache as she watched the bright, beautiful, smart girl she knew be deduced to a sobbing mess.

If she could help it, Hangman wouldn’t be allowed to step foot into her bar without being overboarded. 

So she did the next best thing; holding you in her open doorway as you sobbed into her knitted top.

“It’s ok, sweetheart…shhh… it's going to be ok.”

That only made you cry harder.

—

Jake’s front door opened with a click, taking his shoes off with a soft thud, not bothering to arrange them on the floor with the rest.

He went through the motions of preparing dinner; the last remaining portion of the beef stew you made him.

His jaw tensed at the sight of the transparent hazel and oak bark brown stew staining the sides of the plastic container on the counter.

How was it so easy for something to go from warming the deepest darkest parts of his soul to being the equivalent of lead, coating his insides and making it hard to breathe?

Shouldn’t I be relieved?

Just as he suspected, the stew didn’t bring him the sense of comfort it did only a mere few days ago.

He sighed, languidly twisting and turning his spoon in the stew, moving the typically delectable sauteed mushrooms and tender beef around. 

Now they just made his stomach churn. 

Maybe it wasn’t ever the stew itself that was warm and comforting.

Maybe it was the fact that you were the one who made it.

You.

He continued to absentmindlessly stir, the familiar jingle of keys near the front door meeting his ears. 

“You’re home late.”

Jake’s seemingly dulled down tone made Javy furrow his eyebrows as he continued to undo his shoes. 

“Picked up something for Delilah.”

Jake only gave a small hum. 

“Everything alright?”

Jake took a deep exhale, avoiding his wingman’s gaze.

“Yeah,” he coughed,” yeah, I’m fine just tired.”

Javy stared as he trudged towards the stairs, his bowl of half finished left on the table.

His all too familiar air of confidence was elsewhere. 

As Javy heard Jake’s door shut, his phone buzzed. 

Phoenix: We need to talk. Can you meet at the Hard Deck tomorrow?

—

Jake couldn’t take his eyes off the ceiling as he laid on his bed. 

He should feel relieved. 

Relationships were never his strong suit, meaning he avoided them like the plague. 

He’d done it once, and never again. 

It was too…painful. Heart wrenching. Traumatizing. 

One-night stands were easier. Always easier. 

This arrangement was supposed to be just that. 

He’d help you out, teach you the ropes and then wish you luck on your future relationships. 

That was it. 

He was supposed to move on with his day without seeing things in his everyday life and not think about you. 

Not think, “Caledonia would love this”, or “ This would make her smile.”

You weren’t supposed to have an infectious smile, or a laugh that made him wish for glimpses of a future together, or be able to moan and whine so prettily that he would drown in if he could. 

Your lips weren’t supposed to be soft. Or sweet. Or pretty. 

Hell, you weren’t supposed to look as beautiful as you did in that velvet dress at Admiral Cain’s retirement ball. Or as you walked towards him in his booth at Fransisco’s. Or as you opened the door when he was supposed to teach you how to give a blowjob. Or as you stood before him in front of the mirror in the dressing room of Pleasures of the 3rd Kind.

Or when he first saw your body without the hindrance of clothes. 

But the state of dress, or undress, didn’t change how he saw you.

It was all you.

You. 

He could feel his heart beat faster and cheeks heat as reminisced on his moments with you. 

But those moments seemed to dwarf in comparison to his moments with you outside of your lessons together. 

Getting gelato together. 

Playing cards with Amelia. 

Making up a story to get a 15% discount on sex toys.

Slow dancing with you. 

Feeling your lips on his cheek.

Your soft, tender kisses.

Your warm, safe, secure hugs.

Your infectious, warm laugh that made his chest explode with warmth.

How you cared for him so effortlessly.

The fact you took time out of your busy schedule to care of him when he was sick. 

He hadn’t been taken care of like that since he left home. 

Those moments made him feel some sliver of deservance of your affections. Of your devoted, unconditional love.

He wasn’t supposed to feel this way.

He was supposed to be able to move on with his life, like with every one-night stand he’d been with before. 

Say goodbye to you after he ‘hit and split,” and never think about you again.

Or to never feel the need to think about you again. 

It should have been a relief, cutting off this arrangement with you.

But it wasn’t. 

And he’d have to live with that. 

The fact he was stupid enough, scared enough, and selfish enough to let you go.

To not tell you what he needed to tell you.

Jake could feel his ill placed relief morph into a deep rooted sadness in his empty chest.

Like a spoon scrapping the inside of a pomegranate until there was nothing but rind. 

A rattled sigh left his lips, feeling a lump in his throat begin to settle.

What am I supposed to do now?

Taglist: 

@marvel-hotchner @nemesis729 @a-lil-bit-nuts @justagirllivinginaghibliworld @mizzzpink @themusingofagothicsoul @mayhemmanaged @sebsxphia @potato-girl99981  @a-beaverhausen @withahappyrefrain @hangmans-wingman @callmemana @joalslibrary @peachiicherries @mrsjaderogers @entertainmentgal8@jkbindigo11 @princess76179 @clancycucumber230 @teacupsandtopgun

@chaoticassidy @superskittles @cherrycola27 @nancyxsorbet @h-ngm-ns @emma8895eb @djs8891 @novastories @urmom-999 @taytaylala12 @zombicupcake3 @catsficrecs @abaker74 @kmc1989 @hangmanshoney @caidi-paris @i-wanna-be-your-muse @shara-ne @memeorydotcom

[copias-girl]

Hey. I saw you deleted all the excitement/nonsense from the other day, wanted to check in on you. I realized that while I've been on this hellsite for 12 years and seen and experienced a great deal of my own anon drama, I forget how overwhelming & terrible it feels when it first happens to you.

I failed to notice that, in addition to being very new to this site, you're also only 18 (please note that this is not meant to sound condescending - tone is impossible to convey via text). I was a couple years older than that when I joined here, and I carried just as much excitement and energy into everything I posted and reblogged and quickly gained a reputation for myself. From what I've observed from your blog though, mine was decidedly...less fun & positive, so I got a LOT of anonymous messages telling me what they thought of me. I would spend a lot of time thinking about those anons and the terrible things they said to me, constructive or not, objective or not. It didn't matter how many support messages I got from friends or mutuals, or how much we mocked the anons or made light of the situation - I was angry, embarrassed, felt like nothing I did would fix it, and sometimes didn't want to log onto this site anymore, despite it being the only outlet I had to express myself in this way.

It is normal to focus on the small negative in spite of the overwhelming positive - healthy? No. But normal.

My point is: Please do not let this nonsense deter you from being you. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is totally fine. Not everyone is going to like how you post/reblog on your blog. Speaking solely for myself, I generally keep a more contained dashboard I can scroll through quickly at work, so I don't follow your blog, but I don't translate my personal feelings on how you blog into my personal opinion of you as an individual. Everyone blogs differently on this site, which is what keeps it interesting. I'm also not so chronically online to go out of my way to send you a 5-paragraph essay about consent or being hypersexual in a fandom for a gay Satanic band. Instead I'll send you a 8-paragraph essay trying to comfort you and to tell you not to despair, lmao.

I LOVE your enthusiasm about how you express yourself in your posts & reblogs, and it seems there's a shit ton of blogs around you that feel the same way & express themselves the exact same way. Don't lose that spark! Don't let them rain on your parade! [Insert another cliche phrase here]!

Take time if you need a break, but please understand you did nothing wrong. Everything said to you was someone's opinion they wanted to force on you to control how you behave because they themselves are terrified of the world around them and don't understand they cannot control others. Hopefully one day they'll realize how sheltered and, quite frankly, stupid they are. I did.

My advice: if you ever reopen anons and start getting those messages again, delete them and don't engage. Most of the time they're just looking for attention, to rile you up. Classic bullying tactics.

Or print out their messages and use them as firewood. Or toilet paper. Whatever works.

Lastly, you don't have to acknowledge this or publish this message if you don't want to. Genuinely, I just wanted to reach out and make sure you're okay and to attempt to longwindedly impart some advice from my own experiences over the decade.

You do you, dude. Fuck the haters.

Thank you so so much for this incredibly kind and comforting message ♥︎ I really appreciate it more than you could imagine, it even made me cry reading it. I feel like this message is a good closer for this situation, so I’m also going to use it as an opportunity to give a little PSA about how my blog will be operating from now on.

First of all, just thank you again. I’m honestly astonished because every single thing you mentioned is exactly how I feel. The hurt of it all despite getting so much support, the empty feeling of not wanting to go on tumblr anymore despite it being my only outlet. Tumblr was supposed to be my safe space, my escape, my home, and it really sucks because it honestly doesn’t feel like that anymore.

I think the thing that hurts the most is that literally no one reached out to me as a friend in the dms to tell me that I was bothering them. I’m not a mind reader, so if no one says anything then I assume I’m not bothering them. But I do pride myself on always being approachable, I’m ALWAYS open to people messaging me with their concerns.

It’s different when it’s some faceless anon who comes off as slightly passive aggressive. If someone would have just DMed me, I definitely would have put more thought into it and taken their suggestion. Since I haven’t been on tumblr long, I didn’t even know the difference between reblogging with a comment or reblogging with tags until literally just now during this whole situation.

I just feel like I’ve been serving spaghetti every night for dinner. 9 people say they absolutely LOVE it, but then I come to suddenly find out the 10th person doesn’t. But they never said anything all this time, so how was I supposed to know?

I’ve had two people block me who I thought were my friends. One who, during this situation, even said she’d always be there for me. Basically, she informed me that our mutual friend had been upset about my comments and apparently never said anything before this, so I reached out to that friend and apologized. She apparently got triggered by my apology, and they both blocked me. That hurt. A lot. And if I’m being honest I’ve been fighting so hard not to self harm during this time.

I feel like I’ve been treated like a malicious criminal over this, when in reality everyone should know damn well I’ve never done ANYTHING to deliberately make people feel bad.

And don’t worry, I definitely did not take the comment about my age to be condescending. In fact, I wish more people would have taken it into account. And the fact that I’ve only been on tumblr for 6 months, so I don’t really know much about it.

I have a life outside tumblr. I’m a student, and I’ve had to be a full-time caretaker to sick relatives who have now unfortunately passed away. I’m grieving. My father abandoned me and my mother, so I’ve had to take over doing all the things that he used to do.

I come on tumblr, I scream about everyone’s favourite satanic antipopes, I post some fics, and then I close the app and go about my life. I don’t research the history of tumblr and what’s deemed acceptable by certain groups of people. I’m a human. I’m a real teenage girl, with feelings. I’m able to be hurt, and triggered, and everything else. I know I’ve created a personality for myself on here, and I think people often forget that I’m a real girl.

I wish I could say I’m okay, but right now that spark definitely feels dampened into a sad little ember. Since this has happened, I’ve almost stopped eating entirely, and when I do eat, I immediately throw it right back up. My Mom took me out to eat and I threw up in public. This has honestly had my stomach in knots.

Today was the first day I actually didn’t feel nauseous. So hopefully time will heal this wound. I wouldn’t wish this on ANYONE, but I’m glad to see you got through it and made it out ok. I’m hoping for the same outcome for myself too.

Now for the PSA portion of this message (everyone please read):

Will I stop being unhinged? Hell no. But I will be moving any horny comments into the tags, as suggested by the people who had complaints. The absolute last thing I want to do is alienate people and make people uncomfortable. (I still have questions about reblogging with comments tho, for example, if I say something not horny should I still put that in the tags or is it ok to comment that?)

Secondly, my best friend suggested that I should just start taking my unhinged comments and making them into posts of their own, so I’ll probably do that too. I think I might tag them with some cheesy tag, probably a pun on nsfw (not sugar for work?) so that if you’d like to blacklist that tag, you can, and then your dash will be safe for scrolling at work or wherever. And you can just click ‘view post’ if you want to view it.

So, rest assured, the horny party will never stop! But since I’ll be putting my stuff in the tags, you probably won’t see it circulating as much as reblogged comments, so if you want to see me being unhinged, just come to my page and scroll through!

Also, I’ve gotten so many other supportive messages and I want to thank everyone for sending them in. I won’t be answering them, because I don’t want a lot of stuff about this situation on my blog. And this is going to be the last time I talk about this situation on my blog. But the supportive messages really do mean a lot to me, so thank you all ♥︎

I feel malaise, so I might still be absent for a little while, but I’ll try to get back in the saddle as soon as I can. I haven’t been in the best mindset to write, but I’m really going to try because posting fics and running this account genuinely make me happy.

Thank you for taking the time to read, and I hope to see you all again very soon

Love always,

Sugar <3

[shadow-pixelle]

I think one of the things I love the most about Dracula Daily is the sense of community. We've got people who've never read the book before. We've got people who've read it hundreds of times. We've got people who only know the story through media and pop culture and memes. And we're all here, spread across these various hellsites, making jokes about our Good Friend Jonathan Harker and his inability to handle paprika, and the way everyone's in a completely different genre of book for a lot of the early story, and it's just so nice. There's all the memes and the references and so much beautiful art, and it feels a lot like getting right back to the roots of what fandom is. It's a bunch of nerds sitting together in their nerd pool and talking about what they love. I missed a lot of it last year, joining late and not being on Tumblr and generally being too tired to interact. And I'm so glad to be able to get in on the ground floor of this one and enjoy everything.

[alligatorjesie]

Hey that's alright you can block me as much as you like but it wont change anything man. You said some shit things so I'm going to say some shit things to you.

You know what that's fine we can just repost that whole comment so people can see what a shitass you are @blessyouhawkeye

Hey real quick you do realize that reylo is just a really vanilla ass enemies-to-lovers ship if you have a problem with it well good luck man this shit is literally everywhere in media.

Almost like it's a popular trope. Have you never watched a rom com? Woof. I got some news for you brosph.

but you know what since we're on the tangent of 'weird people' in fandoms let's talk about that for a moment.

You wanna know what's weird? There's a lot of finnreys in the reblogs acting positively feral about their ship not being canon

(which idk I watched TRoS that was pretty open ended if your still mad about reylo by the end of that movie that shits on you)

and upset they don't have book deals like the reylos but IDK man maybe the reason finnreys ain't got book deals is because they spend all their time online bitching about how their ship got shafted instead of writing that fucking fanfiction.

You know when the reylos got shafted with the shit show that was EP9 instead of spending the next 3 years complaining they just trucked along in their own fucking sandbox completing their own fucking projects for their own fucking friends.

Fuck Disney we'll make our own reylo with blackjack and hookers and sex scenes.

You mean to tell us you've had more problems with reylos who were just excited to see the story concepts they predicted from The Force Awakens coming true in The Last Jedi and making positive content to reflect that joy compared to the actual nazis on YouTube who flood the platforms with 3 hour long hate videos over how Bree Larson is somehow personally responsible for their dicks falling off?

You remember that one time ethan van sciver said he wanted to kill Chinese people? He's a really popular star wars/comic book YouTuber and he's way more problematic than anyone I've ever met in the reylo fandom.

And guess what he also hates reylo what a shock!

You wanna talk about some unhinged weird behavior allow me to direct you at a rabid finnrey who has told me graphically to kill myself at least 5 times now for the sin of enjoying the wrong part of star wars according to them.

That shits fucking unhinged

Here's some of those death threats these are 100% real by the way:

Obviously Death Threat Warning some of these are quite gnarly.

This user still has an active account.

I've reported them several times but I sometimes feel like the only thing that will get you banned on this hellsite is being trans I swear to fucking god.

This user has spent over 7 years shit posting hate directly into the reylo fandom's tag instead of doing literally anything else to make their own fandom more enjoyable for themselves.

That's weird shit.

What has been hellish is being in this fandom for over 9 years and dealing with the amount of uncalled for vitriol at this very fucking plain flavor baby's first enemies-to-lovers ship.

I only started keeping track of the death threats back in September 2022

It's not even been a full 2 years and I'm nearing 1000.

This is the header for my Tumblr. This is a real number by the way I have every death threat I've gotten since starting this documented on my computer.

It's actually 955 because thepettycunt here just sent me a new death threat so now I gotta update the banner.

fun!

One day I'll make a master post.

Today is not that day.

But let's be very honest here the real number of death threats I've personally gotten are well into multiple thousands across multiple platforms over 9 years.

Just for enjoying reylo.

And I'm a furry and have been since the 90s. I'm use to being told to kill myself from strangers on the internet so color me confused when I join this really basic bitch of a fandom ship only to find the hate towards it somehow fucking worse.

That's some fucking weird unhinged shit.

I know you made this shit post just to be a shit poster so don't take this too personally I'm sure at this point you already think I'm unhinged and rightfully so

maybe I am

but after the 100th death threat I just stopped giving a fuck so you'll just have to forgive me but it's real buck ass wild to be called 'weird' when I've never sent death threats to people over fictional ships and none of my reylo friends have done that shit either but I am almost 99% sure if you look though the history of any single person who reblogged this post bitching about reylo you'll find they have a history of doing that shit.

You can pick any one. Odds are they have anti reylo posts going years back and at worst some of them have straight up told people in this fandom to kill themselves.

I can look through YOUR history OP and see You're a huge pile of shit towards reylos!

Go on pick one out at random and have a go. It's a fun horrible way to spend a afternoon.

And before anyone brings it up because people who hate reylo always do;

'what about that one time reylos harassed John Boye-'

a group of women telling John Boyega the things he's saying are sexist towards his female coworker who had already been harassed off social media a few years prior and asking him to do better isn't the harassment you think it is.

You can find that 'reaction' video John made to the reylos on google and watch it yourself. No one is being racist but they are all asking him to stop making sex jokes on his female coworkers behalf and expressing disappointment in him. In fact he even had to reused quite a few of the quotes because I think about halfway through making the video he realized he just didn't have that much material and the things people were saying were pretty fucking mild.

And I'm not sorry. Asking a adult man to hold himself accountable for the shit he says is not on the same level as the far fucking worse shit the over arching star wars fandom has done well before reylo was even a twinkle in anyone's eye

Lastly one more thing and I'm done I swear and I'm going to apologize in advance because I'm gonna sound really spicy and I guess I kinda am but not in a mean way more in a really fucking confused way

but what the fuck do you mean jenny nicholsons reylo videos are unhinged?

They're the fucking same as the rest of her videos.

Is there something less unhinged about a nearly 4 hour long video about a failed fantasy RPG theme park over a 1 hour long video about how star wars episode 9 was absolute dogshit?

Jenny makes cringe videos about cringe shit. That's her brand.

She's voiced her enjoyment of reylo very early on... I think back in The Force Awakens days? So why are you surprised she would talk about the subject at length in detail? She bought a stuffed porg larger than herself and documented collecting it on video for her channel.

Yeah man she probably likes reylo.

Most people who like TLJ do.

What... what the fuck do you mean her reylo videos specific are unhinged?

I'm sorry but if known racist and sexist YouTuber doomcock can spend 6 hours complaining about TLJ because Rey don't make his dick hard like Luke Skywalker does and he's going to make his refusal to reflect on that issue our fucking problem I don't think Jenny is unhinged for complaining about the inarguably bad movie that was the rise of skywalker for less time than the movie's total runtime.

I'm not even mad I'm just really confused by your statement.

[solomons-poison]

Ooooh hey honey bunny!

I'm so proud of you for your followers!

As celebration: I'd like to request hcs about first dates for Obey Me! With Beel, Satan, and Barbatos. 💕

First Dates with Beel, Satan, and Barbatos

A/N: Hehe thank you darling 😘 It more so celebrating a year since I've joined the writing community?? I don't know how accurate my follower count is anymore after 10 years on this hellsite, and I've only just recently gained a lot of great mutuals (yourself included <3), so thought this milestone might be easier lol. Anyway I'm so sorry this took ages to get to ;;

Featuring: GN reader || Beel x reader, Satan x reader, Barbatos x reader

Warnings: None; this is concepts if the boys set up the date, rather than the reader

══════════════════

Beel

It's not obvious unless you know what to look for or until the moment he asks, but Beel is the most nervous one about your first date together. He knows his interests can often give him tunnel vision, and he accidentally ignores or neglects you. So he wants to make sure that when he goes on this date with you, that you have his full attention and affection.

He's extremely sweet when he asks you out, the most adorable blush on his face, and he's absolutely overjoyed when you accept. If you talk to Belphie, he'll tell you all about how Beel kept bringing up both his worries and date ideas, asking if he thought you would like this or that, until Belphie was ready to lose his patience. All of his brothers are supportive, though, Beel just wants to make you happy and they're all just proud of their little brother trying to court you.

He's honestly happy to go anywhere with you for a date, but his suggestions are mostly food-oriented. He might end up going to Belphie, Barbatos, or Asmo for good ideas, something that would appeal to both of you, and so one suggestion might be around a café date. He just loves the idea of trying all sorts of new foods with you, something to create memories with together. It really excites him to introduce you to a food that he likes, especially, and it fills him with so much joy if you like it too. And the kiss he gives you at the end is nervous but heartfelt. It might also taste a bit like your last meal, but it just makes you two giggle.

When he looks back on your relationship together and his time with you, he wants to remember these fun experiences. The next time he passes by that restaurant or that café, or just smells a food that he had eaten with you during this outing, he'll be filled with thoughts of you, and it always brings a smile to his face.

Satan

A first date with Satan is the very definition of romantic. He works tirelessly to create the perfect date plan for you two, making all the arrangements to ensure everything goes exactly as planned and there are no problems.

Some of the ideas he considers are, of course, involving books, perhaps going to a café and reading together over coffee or just straight up visiting the library. Or he might want to bring you to the new cat café in town and introduce you to everyone, instead. If you're not quite as book-oriented, though, he's still happy to arrange something else, such as taking a walk through the park and telling you about the flowers and their meanings (that he definitely didn't spend weeks researching prior to the date...).

He'll start with going to your room to get you for your date, acting as your escort and maybe offering his arm or holding hands (especially if it's within Lucifer's sights). He'll be opening the door for you, pulling out your seat, maybe feeding you a bite of his or your food with the sweetest smile on his face.

And when the end of the date is drawing near, he'll nervously gift you something that means a lot to him, maybe a copy or his copy of his favorite book, or perhaps a piece of jewelry that complements your features. And the kiss at the end is nervous but sweet, soft and passionate and lingering because he doesn't want to leave yet but knows he has to go. Lucifer will never admit it to him, but he's really proud of what a gentleman Satan is with you.

Barbatos

As always, Barbatos is ten steps ahead of you. Even if you insist on setting up the date yourself, he's just too intuitive and good at figuring you out that he can mostly guess what would please you.

Similar to Satan, he's very romantic in his gestures. He might even act as your own personal butler instead of Diavolo's, using acts of service as his means of courting you. He may invite you for a tea date, creating a unique blend of tea solely for you to enjoy. And of course, he's baking something exquisite to go with it. If you're not into sweets, no worries, he can definitely make something savory for you to enjoy.

And after the tea is finished and you've tired of sitting, he'll take you on a nice evening walk around the gardens at the palace, show you rare flowers that you can't find anywhere else and telling you about their history. He'll even show you his secret hiding spot in the back of the grounds, somewhere he likes to have to himself when he needs some quiet. It's the trust that he has in you that really makes his love for you obvious.

And the kiss that he gives you at the end as he says goodnight is as sweet as the sweetest cake he could ever bake for you. Despite how restrained he seems, his eyes show his desire for you quite clearly, and it's enough to leave tingles throughout your body. He does well in leaving a very good first impression, and you can be sure there will be many more dates to come.

[iam-siriuslysher-lokid]

We did it!

Letter for RRR and the fandom, from a non-Indian fan

March 13 2023

RRR has made history this day. We have never expected this would happen. But everybody was dreaming about it ever since its release. The RRR fandom, especially here on this hellsite, we call Tumblr, was consisting of only a small number of lovely people. Perhaps, less than 10 or 20 people. Sharing rrr gifs, essays, theories, fanfics, fanarts, quotes and just everything about how we adore RRR and its art so much.

I was also inactive in Tumblr before I got to see RRR. It was a calm Sunday back in May 2022. The film was featured on my dad's netflix as he always like action films and the film was on that category. My dad also loved Indian films and he is the sole reason that I get to see Indian films when I was a kid. He was watching RRR and I sat with him and I got to see already the middle of the film, which was Ram's cry for help to Akhtar and Akhtar confessing he is Bheem. Yes, I was confused by what was going on but I kept watching because I was already hooked by emotions in their eyes and their intense body languages. My dad was already explaining to me how the plot has gone far, by small bits, so I was getting the gist of the plot at that point. After the film, my mom and I were crying because we were so moved by it, emotionally. Especially, the scene from Bheem's torture. It was excruciating to watch. My dad is already rewinding his favorite parts of the film while I was there enjoying the outro song.

"I have never seen anything like this."

I am a cinephile. But my exception always are action films. Because for me it lacks sympathy and real emotions. All I see in those films are choreography and stunts. However, my mind has changed because of RRR. I have never expected I will cry upon watching it. After 2 days, I already made friends from Twitter about the film. About a week, my inactive Tumblr account since 2013 has been revived to once again find fellow fans and cry and talk and scream about the beauty of ths film. I was in the early times of the RRR fandom here and I've met so many amazing people. Lovely, kind and humbling people. RRR fandom, is by far, the most wholesome fandom I've ever been in my entire fangirl years.

RRR deserves all the recognition it's getting. I've been telling about it to my friends, to my coworkers, to fellow film enthusiasts to check this film. And now here we are, in the last season of awards for RRR to join. And we did it!

I am Asian and although, I may not be Indian, but I have never been so proud of a film winning each award events. My heart is full and happy. I am so glad the world has got to see this film and allowing the Indian cinema on the global stage. The talent the people that made RRR have, has undoubtedly shook the world on its feet. To director, SS Rajamouli, to the ultimately talented and devoted actors who we love, Jr NTR and Ram Charan, to MM Keeravani and Chandrabose for such wonderful music that I never knew exists and to each people that worked so hard for the film.

RRR walked so that Indian talent will shine through to the rest of the world.

I may never know if Rajamouli sir, Tarak anna or Charan anna will read this but you are the best thing that has happened to me in 2022 and you are still making me smile and RRR has saved me.

RRR has saved me.

[code-heiress]

hi its time for my Yearly Foray Into Fandom Stuff and being Sad About How Its Changed Over the Last Decade

its been abt a decade since i like. joined fandom spaces for the first time, since I discovered that fanfiction was just a Thing that was Written. 10 years since reading my first Zelda x Samus shoujo ai yuri fic with lemon (that i was, admittedly, too young to read). since my first link x dark link yaoi fic that helped me figure out my sexuality. 10 years since reading fanfiction on the opera browser on my nintendo wii.

in that time ive only read for a handful of fandoms- zelda, RWBY (my main one, activity-wise), Fire Emblem (my main one, spending-wise), Homestuck (sadly), and general nintendo stuff. Ive only really been ACTIVE in like, two of those, so I guess I can only really speak for these few fandoms.

obviously over the past 10 years we've seen a massive push from corporations to enter the fandom space and milk it dry of all funds available. Which is super cringe and has been the driving force behind part of why ive burned out on fandom stuff. companies figuring out that autistic teenagers have money to spend on Blorbo from Their Show has been atrocious and predatory, especially with the rise of limited time merch runs.

we've also seen an increase in people monetizing their fanworks- ko-fi, patreon, commission work, ect, which is a weird thing. artists/writers/creators absolutely can and should be able to make money off of doing what they love but i feel like the increase in monetisation of the hobbies is a side effect of hustle culture and capitalism, which can force burnout (if i dont do x commissions a week i cant pay rent, added stress, ect).

I was there when RWBY was one of the biggest fandoms on this hellsite. I was there when people were writing fics when WE DIDNT HAVE THE NAMES OF THE CHARACTERS. when blake being a faunus was a secret. Its weird being a fandom elder when im merely and freshly 25. Its also the fandom im the most aware of the changes in. Not even talking about the death of RT, but seeing how the fandom has like. Splintered. A big part of that i feel is the shipping discourse, but its also like. idk its wack

i think the melatonin is hitting me so this is getting posted as is and im just gonn edit it wgen im coherenr

[asktheisle]

Before We Go...

Now, just because you didn't get an ask in doesn't mean I'm not gonna address the rest of you jgdh

It's been a wild year for me, so much has happened and I did so many new things with more on the horizon. It feels weird that it's only been a year, but it already HAS been a year.

I wanna thank everyone who looks at this silly little blog. From watching me run around trying to run an event for the first time, yelling with me during Quetzal's backstory arc, joining the sunrise for the blog anniversary, to cheering on Draco just this past month. I know it's a long time mantra to not equate success with online engagement, but at the same time I simply can't ignore the fact that every like or comment on an update this year meant the entire WORLD to me. This blog and the story surrounding it has been a lifeline for me whenever things got tough, and I'm so thankful to be a part of this community.

It makes me so genuinely happy to know so many people from all walks of life through this hellsite, even if we don't talk much or interact at all. Seeing everyone here, or in servers, or the handful that I hold close to my heart that I get to talk to frequently, it really makes things worth it. I don't talk a lot, but I love popping in and seeing what everyone is doing and how things are going. If you don't think I'm talking about you as you read this, you're WROOONG. I'm rooting for each and every single one of you in all that you do and all that you'll come across.

I can't wait to see what this year brings for everyone, I can only hope it only has a fair number of challenges and the good outweighs the bad.

So with that said...

[all-risejd]

A New Judgment Chapter 2: Two Offers and a Smack (Poly Judgment Day Fic)

Written by Scarletxraine who can’t seem to remember to post to this godforsaken hellsite so has me post here for your enjoyment!

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7.

The men of the Judgement Day share a confused look. "Well, that makes things more interesting." Damien comments once Triple H and Nessa were gone.

"Dom, did you know she was going to be here?" Finn asks, stepping over to Dominik and helping him off the exam bed. Dominik doesn't answer, just looks down at his hand that is clasping the bracelet.

"Dom are you ok man?" Damien asks, starting to worry about his young partner. "Hey what's going on in your head..." He messes with Dominik's hair.

"I gave her this on our anniversary last year. It was tantamount to a proposal how much it meant that I gave it to her." "What do you mean? You broke off an engagement to join us?" Finn asks confused and ready to slap the young man upside the head.

"Not exactly. My grandmother wanted me to give it to the woman I wanted to marry, it wasn't a proposal but more of an intent to propose," He explains "Ow! What the fuck man!" His hand goes to his head that Finn just slapped.

"She seems damn near perfect why would you leave her? You know you could have just joined us as a teammate and not romantic partner, or you both could have joined as our partners?" Damien chides.

"My dad got in my head talking about how mom suffered, and I remembered him never being there for major moments but bringing me in for shock factor when it suited him. I was never around, and I didn't want her to suffer like that and have to see a story of me and someone else. I ended it to protect her, she deserves better than what I can give. Plus, I don't know if she would be ok with that. She gets jealous and territorial." Dominik shrugs.

"Let me get this right," Finn starts and takes a breath, "The girl you apparently wanted to marry and still apparently want to, who is in healthcare like your mum and understands and supports you unconditionally... You break up with her to protect her feelings and in the process break her heart and she still loves and supports you." Finn slaps him upside the head again. "You are a fucking idiot you know that Dom, you fucked up big time."

"Yeah, and I want to fix it at least be friends with her. I want her in my life as selfish as that sounds..." Dominik looks at his partners like a kicked puppy.

"Well, we were texting Mami and agreed that if she wants to join our relationship, she can, we just have to negotiate. If that is something you want of course it has to be a unanimous decision. Or you can get with her again and we all just remain friends too." Damien offers knowing what Dominik's answer will be.

"I don't want to leave you guys either, I don't know." Dom almost whines.

"Well going off her response when we told her she seems receptive enough to maybe broach the subject if you make things right with her." Finn analyzes the conversation from earlier as they head to their locker room.

"We can help, you are not in this alone." Damien offers and Dominik smiles and nods in agreement.

"Right so here is what we will do..." Finn starts.

Nessa and Triple H only walk for a few minutes until they reach his office. He holds the door open for her and holds out a chair for her before he goes and sits behind his desk. A thick stack of papers conspicuously sitting in front of him. "Without realizing it you cut some excellent promos. You made people conflicted about the match and got people on your side." He explains and shows her tweets of people supporting her and the hashtag #justicefornessa trending.

"To be honest I didn't even want to come but Mr. Gutierrez insisted, begged even and to be honest I am hurt about why he did it." Nessa eyes the stack of papers.

"To be honest with you I knew he was bringing you and he worked some things out. He wants to help his son and you. Even with the betrayal he still loves him. He didn't mean to hurt you or really manipulate him." He looks at her sympathetic. "Rey wants to help Dominik, in both his personal life and his career and he asked me to give you a job. It was brought to my attention that you applied to be part of our medical not long after Dominik joined the company. I would like to extend a formal offer. It would be a dual contract. Less than normal talent but more than traditional medical and probably more than you make now." He smiles proud that they came up with this plan.

Nessa looks confused but not surprised, "What do you mean sir?"

"You are a nurse, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, a charge nurse on the Peds Unit."

"Well, we want you to be part of our medical team of doctors and nurses that travel alongside the talent and shows both taped and un-taped. And to be a talent, part of the story and potentially getting physically involved with a potential of matches in the future if both parties agree." He explains and she is intrigued.

"I can't just up and leave my job, I'm under contract and don't want to risk the children's lives." She explains.

"We can buy out your contract, we contacted the facility where you work to put a plan in place only if you agree so there is coverage on short notice." He doesn't even look sheepish.

"So, you and Rey planned this? Why?" She levels a soft glare at him.

"Rey thinks you both can get closure or back together if you had a chance to talk and wants to make sure both of you are happy and taken care of as I said, even though Dom has a grudge against his dad at the moment. Made the story that much easier since it is true." He gives a sheepish smile.

"I can't make any promises, but I'll look over the contract and have my lawyer do the same. When would you like an answer by?" Is her response as she holds out her hands for the stack of papers.

"We would like an answer by Wednesday so we can bring you on at Smackdown and get you some training, which you will continue with your team and an assigned trainer, and safety tests if you are ok getting physical." He answers leaning back in his chair.

"You also have some control over what direction your story goes with them, we are thinking a triangle between you Dom, and Rhea or a "relationship" between you and Damien going by how you two reacted to each other after the match." He adds on.

"What about their true dynamic?" She asks trying.

"We are unsure about unveiling that to the public, they barely accept LGBTQ people and subtext, we don't know how they would handle that." He shrugs, at least honest.

"It would be an interesting thing to explore and explains their dynamic better." She offers and thinking more to herself.

"That is true and something we might explore if the opportunity presents itself. I do hope you decide to join us, Miss Klein." He stands up offering his hand to shake again.

"Thank you for the offer, sir, and please call me Nessa." She gets up and shakes his hand.

"Then call me Paul," He answers, adding, "I look forward to your answer either way Wednesday." He gestures to the door his assistant standing there.

"Rhea wanted to see me, could I go talk to her before I leave?" She stops at the door and asks.

"Yeah, Heather, please show her where Rhea is." He orders, and Heather nods and leads the way. Once there she knocks on the pole before pulling the curtain aside revealing Rhea stretching. She sees Nessa enter and walks over, placing her arm around Nessa's shoulders.

"Finally, I was beginning to think you left mini-me."

"I was going to. Just because I am happy, he has you doesn't mean I want to see it." She shrugs out of Rhea's arm not wanting to be caught in a compromising position in case anyone comes in.

"What's that you got there luv?" Rhea gestures to the stack of papers in Nessa's hand. Nessa looks down and hugs it to her chest.

"Oh, uh nothing to worry about. You wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes doll, come sit let's talk before the boys join us and I have to go to my match." Rhea gestures to the couch. "I wanted to make sure to tell you Dominik never cheated on you. He started as just a wrestling partner. He didn't join our romantic dynamic until weeks after he left you. We even gave him the option of bringing you in on the dynamic if you consented. I don't want you to think he cheated on you." Rhea explains and puts a comforting hand on Nessa's thigh, an intimate gesture she doesn't shake off.

"I don't think that, I figured it was something like that. I don't hold it against you as long as he is happy and safe, I'm happy for him." Nessa places her hand on Rheas and squeezes it before continuing.

"That just means he doesn't want to be with me, that I wasn't enough, which hurts more and makes me wonder what is wrong with me." Nessa word-vomits, and Rhea looks dismayed and places her hand on Nessa's cheek gently directing her to meet her gaze.

"Hey no, stop that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. From what I've seen and heard from Dom you are an angel. I'm sure there was a reason in his idiot mind, you know how men are never thinking through their decisions until after. Did he even ask you about the dynamic before leaving you?" Rhea consoles, rubbing Nessa's back. Nessa shakes her head no, trying to keep from crying.

"I don't know why I'm spilling all this to you, and now I've been offered a job to add to the drama and join the medical team and I don't know what to do..." Nessa sniffles.

"Well sweetheart you preach about wanting Dom Dom to be happy, but what about you? You need to do what makes you happy too. Now it looks like you need a hug." Rhea advises and stands up holding her arms out for a hug. Nessa gets up and hugs her finding a strong sense of comfort in Rhea's arms her eyes closed.

She processes the conversation, and her eyes fly open and steps back from Rhea. "Wait you said something about me joining your relationship?!"

Rhea looks sheepish and nervous and glances at the ground. "Well yeah, if that is something you would like we are open to the idea." She answers.

Nessa stands shocked, unsure how to answer when the boys fling open the curtain and walk in, stopping in their tracks when they see Nessa.

"Hey Mamita, you are still here?" Damien exclaims throwing his arm over her shoulder which shocks her out of her thoughts.

"Uh yeah, Rhea wanted to talk to me."

"Oh yeah when we're alone you can call me Demi," Rhea smiles kindly trying to not make it weirder.

"I'm Luis if you didn't know." Damien gives her a half hug before plopping on the couch.

"You can still call me Finn." Finn chimes in and Dominik is having a staring contest with the ground. Finn and Damien share a look and smile seeing the stack of papers in Nessa's hand.

"Demi, thank you for your honesty and being so kind, I really appreciate it. I value honesty a lot." Nessa smiles a real smile at her and goes over and gives her one more hug to show she doesn't feel weird about the conversation. "It is a lot to process, maybe we'll talk later. Get my number from Dominik if he still remembers it." Nessa adds, throwing a dig at Dom who won't meet her eyes and mumbles sorry under his breath. Finn snickers and nudges the young man.

"Can we all get your number mariposa?" Damien asks winking at Nessa who can't control the blush that creeps up her face as she nods her head. Rhea tries to hide her smile and ends up smirking.

Nessa clears her throat. "Uh could someone show me the way out, I have to work tomorrow morning and want to go to bed. I've had enough excitement for tonight." She asks, and Dominik looks up for the first time.

"Yeah, reinita I'll show you." He steps towards her, but Damien stops him after seeing Nessa's expression.

"You just had a rough match, you need to rest. I'll show mamita out." Damien offers holding out his elbow and Nessa takes it mouthing thanks.

"Hey, I hope we see you again soon!" Finn waves goodbye and Nessa smiles back at him as she walks out of the room with Damien who makes conversation.

"So mamita, I need to ask how do you feel about what you learned today. Are you ok? He pats her hand that is still resting on her elbow.

"Honestly yes, I myself am more flexible with my sexuality, I am proudly pansexual and have no issue with the thought of polyamory. It is more so the fact I am jealous by nature and don't know how I myself could handle it so I am not sure it is for me." She answers honestly but doesn't add on what she was thinking that she is open to try.

"I'm glad you are handling this well, you say you are jealous by nature, but I see no jealousy or being territorial from you regarding Dom."

"Because it has been months and I have begun to accept that he doesn't want to be with me, and as I have said multiple times, I just want him happy I just wish I could be the one to do it." She smiles sadly as they reach the exit door for talent.

"Hey, you made him happy it wasn't your fault he did what he did. I think he freaked out and made a mistake and doesn't know how to fix it. Hopefully, I see you around mamita." He opens the door for her, and she rolls her eyes because she knows what he has been calling her all night.

"That's not my name!" She calls out smiling as she walks out the door, the contract clutched tightly in her hands.

[sea-dukes-assistant]

I, too, have constructed a fort of pillows and blankets (and bae, of course).

My very gay not girlfriend and I have decided to take our bullshit and move it somewhere else. This hellsite is getting increasingly more atrocious to use, and I personally am over trying to sort of re-invent this, unsuccessfully, as I try to move on from the trauma of the way I've been treated in this fandom for *checks notes* running a blog about a royal guy. It's inhibiting expression and not fun anymore. I am 37 years old and on my 2nd life. I am tired of holding back because I don't want to further be harassed, psychoanalyzed, insulted, told to end my existence in various ways, berated, scolded/treated like a little boy, talked to like I'm too fucking stupid to understand anything *cackles in above average IQ*, and generally disrespected for no fucking reason.

Also I'm getting more and more anti-Meghan followers who are not only lacking critical thinking skills, but are also hella conservative and anti-alphabet which, considering I fall into that category somewhere now, gives me Concern™. Sea Duke is for everyone, just like hockey and beer (unless you have Celiac Disease, then don't do that, I will drink it for you), even the horse piss Anheuser-Busch has branded Bud Light.

This will not be abandoned; I've put too much work into it to do that. Content will be even more sparse though.

If you would like to join me/us in this endeavor, I can send you invite codes for free dollars and zero cents; pls to message me. I'm not posting the link to my account because I don't want the crazy following it and killing what brain cells I have left. I told y'all I'd stay until this was no longer fun. Well, that time has come. This is no longer a happy place for me, especially since his death.