#this is what happens when you make friendships by how much you entertain them cus no one wants you when you have issues to deal with

[ellsellmesoull]

Are we supposed to make friends in college or is this like a work acquaintances sort of situationship?

[trashcanfills]

So I just read your hanzo space hcs and I loved the part about hushed conversations between him and genji in Japanese and I'm sorry if this request doesn't make a lot of sense but could I ask for a reader who finds out hanzo likes them because they know Japanese and listen to the arguments between hanzo and genji? Thank you and I'm sorry if this is long or confusing.

Mam/sir no this is not confusing. I like that you elaborated on the scenario u wanted me to write cus boi it helps hehe.

This became a monster of a fic jesus so uhhh more content for you i guess pardon the wait. I might edit this later cus Im not sure if Im happy with it now but eh its been stuck in my inbox for so long with some other requests better release now.

Shimada Hanzo x Reader - Hidden Confessions

Hanzo would likely be crushing on you after spending quite some time with you as friends. It’s hard to tell though because he never really says how he feels out loud, like I doubt you even are aware he considers you as a friend unless you confident/observant as hell or sth happened that both of you had to clarify for the sake of your friendship.

But alright lets say that you both consider each other as friends and you both know that. Cus friends to lovers tropes are gucci hehehehehe.

Ok so you def have to be crushing on Hanzo at this point, which I dont blame you for btw like look at the man. There’s a reason for the loads of fanart around him.

Unfortunately as we all know with the fucking friends to lovers trope drama, you cant just admit you like Hanzo that way, cus what if he doesnt sees you that way and it ruins your friendship and makes everything btw u??? Uh yea better safe than sorry bitches. Just keep it down and appreciate that you get to hang out with the angsty ass archer anyway.

Except…some kinda weird things have been going on with Hanzo and Genji? You think you see Genji talking to Hanzo in hushed whispers abt something that, based on Hanzo’s flushed and irritated expression, Hanzo clearly doesnt want to talk abt. It HAS piqued you interest when it tends to occur more often whenever you see the Shimada bros tgt. Asking Hanzo about it however just has him to dismiss it and change the subject. Rip.

Later on those hushed conversations do end up occurring in front of you and other overwatch members, in Japanese, since not many people do really know the language and the conversation was prob meant to be abt sth private and secretive.

Except, you do know Japanese. You didn’t exactly inform Hanzo or Genji of it because it seemed really entertaining to have them have these supposedly private Japanese conversations OUT LOUD without realising there were people who understood what they were saying. I mean, if it was a really sensitive thing they should be speaking behind closed doors right? Like cmon lol.

Usually, whenever the Shimada brothers talk to each other in Japanese, they would exchange some form of wit or ridiculous reference to their past (like that time Genji tried to cajole Hanzo into joining the DDR contest during one of the weekly game night sessions, until Hanzo said he still has pictures of Genji’s 16th Birthday Party Incident in Japanese. Ngl you were a lil curious what the incident was, but its likely some form of embarrassing blackmail).

However THIS TIME, it was completely different. You were chilling with a few other overwatch members plus Hanzo and Genji in the recreation room. Cue your surprise when Genji decided to ask Hanzo in Japanese:

“Sooooo…have you confessed your feelings yet, brother?”

Im sorry HANZO?? HAS FEELINGS FOR SOMEONE????? Thank god they weren’t really focusing on you that much otherwise they would have noticed your body tense a little at that. You don’t know exactly how to feel about this because this can either spell sth great or very bad for you, but most likely bad because what are the chances…right?

Hanzo predictably flushes a little, scowling even harder. If you didn’t know any better you would probably have thought that the archer was pissed at Genji about something instead of being embarrassed (tho i mean when has hanzo never been annoyed at genji lol)

At Hanzo’s expression, Genji sighed out loud. “You do realise you can’t stew on your feelings forever-“

“I can if I want to and that is my decision to make, not yours.” Hanzo hissed back. Genji, unbothered by the interruption, continued:

“-and you have been pining for them for like almost a year.”

Hanzo scoffed. Genji kept going. “I mean they are literally just RIGHT THERE. You can ask them out on like a freaking date-“

“-and risk the potential embarrassment and fallout of our current platonic relationship?”

“Look, I doubt y/n would be the kind of person to-“ Sorry, hold the phone. Did Genji say YOUR NAME?? DOES HANZO ACTUALLY LIKE YOU BACK??? HOLY SHEET???? It was literally taking all of your concentration to not combust on the spot and give away the fact you could understand what they were saying in Japanese because HOLY FUCK HANZO RETURNS YOUR FEELINGS??

Ok ok calm down and listen back to the conversation because you were zoning out a bit from the revelation that Hanzo has a crush on you. Genji was still talking.

“-and you can’t be sure that they aren’t interested in you. Heck, from what I see, they seem very receptive to your boneheaded ass-“

“Being friendly and polite in a platonic relationship is no grounds for speculating romantic interest, you idiot. It’s only a common courtesy-“

“-dude do you NOT notice how much closer they are to you compared to anyone else here-“

“-and that means nothing, Genji. Cease this conversation.”

“Hanzo-“

“No. I do not wish to discuss this any further. Regardless of what you say, I severely doubt they would even like me that way.”

“Even then, just TRY. That is all I am asking of you, Hanzo. Because I want you to be happy for once-”

“You know, you guys could just asked me yourself right now if that’s what you are worried about.” You chimed in. “And speaking of which, I do actually like you too, Hanzo, and uhhh I would be totally open for a date anytime?”

Their reactions were priceless. The moment you spoke up in Japanese had the two Shimada brother halt their conversation to look at you in shock. Hanzo in particular had a myriad of expressions too entertaining to watch.

Hanzo practically went through an entire rollercoaster of emotions when you interrupted. Shock at you speaking Japanese, horror when he realised you spoke Japanese and understood it which meant you were able to listen through their conversation this entire time, until he processed the part on you liking him back which turned into a mix of joy, relief, embarrassment…yea rip Hanzo lol.

Genji meanwhile was trying so hard not to laugh because holy sheet your timing was excellent.

He had to shake Hanzo a bit to get him out of a daze, and gestured at him to ask you out. Hanzo gets his wits back after, glares at Genji because he’s such a lil shit. He then glanced at you briefly before looking away all flustered. “So uhhh…I’ll pick you for dinner at 7pm later?”

You gave him you biggest smile and agreed. That was the start of your beautiful romance with Hanzo, albeit with a mildly embarrassing start but hey, you guys got together since then. :3

BONUS: during the date

“I wasn’t aware that you knew Japanese.”

“You didn’t exactly ask me.”

“…Fair point but still.”

BONUS BONUS: immediately after Hanzo asks you out

“Holy fuck finally!”

“I-Cassidy WHAT?”

“Look. I had to sit through y/n telling me that they are crushing on Hanzo, and listen to them whine about how unfairly hot and cool Hanzo is. I couldn’t do anything about it because I had to keep it secret.”

“Mood.”

“Genji, why are you saying mood? I didn’t tell you about my crush on your brother-“

“I had to sit through Hanzo waxing poetry about you whenever he gets in this weird mood or when he gets drunk during our drinking sessions. It was funny at first but then got sad after a while when he kept making himself depressed over the idea you didn’t see him the same way.”

“You did NOT have to reveal that information-“

“You were the one who chose to confide in me, brother.”

“Hmph, then I suppose you won’t mind me showing y/n my collection of blackmail material of you, then.”

“Woah woah woah let’s not go THAT far-“

[urkpoppsychic]

SF9 reading ⭐️❤️💰personality & Love + career.

Note: This is just a reading, it is for entertaining purposes it might not be 100% accurate. Move on if you dont like the reading. Thank you and enjoy the reading 😉💝.

Young Bin

Personality:This person is playful and not that serious as you think he is. He cares about having fun at his workplace than being always so serious. To make other people feel good about working with him. He might be good at doing multitasking. He is a good public speaker, and a communicator. He might be a logical thinker and honest with his words. He is someone who doesn't have enough patients. He is fast when it comes to taking actions. He doesn't have time to wait around. He might be always active and busy. He is someone who will fall asleep easily. because of his busy day. He seems to be an optimistic guy. He might need to learn to say NO to others. Because he loves to help. 

Love life

Past: There could be a woman or lover who was hiding her true self or didn't follow her intuition to pursue the relationship. 

Present: He is the knight in shiny armor, he wants to pursue now or never and feel loyal to her. No one can stop him. He will move towards his lover passionately. 

Future: The woman who wasn't true to herself will rethink this connection. He might also rethink if this lover could be the one. 

outcome: He might see the clarity in the connection that he might be better of single and that when the time is right, there will be the person who will be his true self and be open for him to love. 

Inseong

Personality: He is someone who is very stable when it comes to his money. He knows how to save his money and is careful not to overspend it. He might not be very open towards strangers. He has his own friends and people who he can be his true self. He might have many talents. It is good in almost everything. He is good with manifesting. Making new connections might be a bit of a struggle for him. He is the person who is very charming and attractive and he might take advantage of his appearance to get attention.  to feel wanted and whole. He might be a bit in a player role. because he still needs to figure out how to make true connections. He might not know how to do it right. But he is learning. 

Love Life

Past: Juggling within 2 people.

Present: He is now working with 2 people with the same interest. He isn't even thinking about choosing between them. as if 2 girls are fighting over him and he is standing there and doesn't know how to solve this. 

Future: He will find another way to get out of this situation cus it is no longer serving him. A new passion with somebody else is coming on his way who will catch his interest. 

Outcome but this time he will be the one who needs the chase and take effort for the new woman. before he was a bit laid back and not doing anything for a relationship. But for this new person he will need to put more effort or else he might lose her. 

Jaeyoon

Personality: He is someone who is dependent on others, He might be an extravert ( That will mean he doesn't like to be alone, that he gain his energy from other people and to be with people. ) It will make him feel alive and whole again. He doesn't really know how to be on his own. He might struggle to handle things on his own. how to deal with his money and his self-care and career wise. He might be naive when it comes to his experiences with new connections and with love and friendships. He might be emotionally and mentally out of balance at this moment. He might be a bit rebellious or ignorant. because of how reality hits him. He has a strong will and desire to understand the new perspectives and let the old idealism go. He has still a long way to go. 

Love Life:

Past: There was an unexpected positive movement in the relationship, could be an offer, text message or a call or a date. 

Present: He is trusting in the relationship that he is in. He feels really balanced and whole with this situation. He might be in a romantic relationship. 

Future: He is choosing her as his longlasting partner. 

Outcome: He is a bit insecure or afraid about the future investment. more about his financial stability. He might have some codependency on his side. might deal with some fears or addictions that might be affecting his lovelife. or he is spending too much on his relationship on her feeling like addicted and possessive over her.  

Dawon

Personality: He is someone who is independent and he can take good care of himself. He is grateful towards the little things in life. He might sometimes hide his honest opinion or feelings about something or someone.  He might also sound a bit cocky.  He is assertive and wants to be the one in control and he would like to be the hero. He is strong-willed and is confident and has a high self-esteem and is brave. He might be a perfectionist and well organized person. He has his cold side and has high ideals.  He intelligent and willy and smart. 

Love Life: 

Past: He might have dealt with someone who he broke some rules with or  actions that might be rebellious. That is beyond the Korean standards. 

Present: He is at all-in control with his strength towards a relationship. He is the man in the relationship.

Future: He wants to be honest, and wants to bring more justice in the relationship. 

Outcome: Somehow he might be in a situation that he might feel trapped/stuck. of his own high ideals/ illusions. 

Zu Ho

Personality: This person is carefree and a big dreamer. He is always full of joy and unexpected surprises. He is overwhelmed by passion and emotions towards his sudden focus. have a willpower to keep going. He is someone who won't easily give up on things. He will fight until he breaks down. He might have always needed to be responsible and wants to take care of things but he might dwell and end up being over his limits . He is very giving and romantic. It might emotionally overwhelm him. He might take things too fast/quickly while he is someone who actually needs to do things slowly and step by step. When a change is too quick he might feel overwhelmed and out of balance. 

Love Life

Past: He is ready for a new beginning to dive in. He is open and ready to trust and fall towards the opportunity. 

Present: He is working on himself cus he wants to be fully ready for something he really wants. 

Future: He might sometimes act childish because of his insecurities in his career/financial situation. But he is still wanting to bring her an offer.  

Outcome: He might be not single anymore and be in a romantic relationship. 

Rowoon

Personality: This person is very friendly, intuitive, sensitive and artistic. He is someone who is very stable and financially stable and a great father figure. He might have some wisdom in him. He might be good with kids and love to have celebrations and hang out with friends and family. He also loves animals. He believes that somewhere he can find his one and only soulmate. He has good intentions towards others. but people might misinterpret that. He is a good person. 

Love Life:

Past: He might have been through some sleepless night but it comes to an end for him luckily. no more nightmares and worries for him. He might have dealt with a break up or rejections. 

Present: It was something that was meant to happen to help him grow as an individual. Luck is on his side, unexpected things will happen, maybe a new person or a friend will come towards his path.  

Future: He is now slowly investing in his future to build a long term goal. To build a stable foundation to be able count on himself. so that in the next relationship he has balance in himself and her. 

Outcome: He might be in transformation/ changing new ideas and old things that no longer serve him will be gone. Time for a new beginning. He will recover from the past. 

Taeyang

Personality: Independent, experienced and smart. He is realistic and lively. He is someone who makes decisions based on objectives. He stays out of toxic people. He will not tolerate any kind of misbehaviours in his environment. He is someone who looks serious but he is someone who sees humour in every situation. He is someone who is very helpful and is always ready to give advice. He is materialistic. He makes sure he got the nicest clothes on and the best accessories, He cares about his appearance. He loves to buy his close friends and family nice gifts. 

Love Life: 

Past: He is walking away from a connection or a situation. He might have dealt with someone who he knows for a long time. Like a friend or childhood friend. 

Present: He seems to be still stuck in the past and naive. Missing the nostalgic moments. 

Future: He will finally be in the energy to be on the right track to control his own destiny and his own choices in life. He has to remember that there are more opportunities for him and if he still is living in the past he might miss new opportunities. 

Outcome: He might still have struggles with seeing the truth. He might still have difficulties letting this idea go. Not really ready to see it. But he needs time to accept it. 

Hwi Young

Personality: He is strong minded and confident in his talents. He knows what he wants. He has a lot of excitement in his energy. He loves new challenges and new things and wants to try out. He might have dealt with a lot of pain in his life. He has a lot of wounds. Because he might have to deal with people who take advantage of his good and soft personality. Poor guy :(. But he grew strong cus of this. He knows how to defend himself now. He wants to create a better situation of experiences that he learned. Make the best out of it. He is balanced, harmonious and well-being. He is getting his life together. He might at the beginning be ignorant and different but he grew out of this old energy and transformed into a better version of himself. He might dealt with someone who used to be manipulative. 

Love Life:

Past: There is a feminime figure who he admires and sees her really high. 

Present: He has hopes and wishes about his love life and the person he requires. 

Future: He might feel insecure and might hesitate to move forward not knowing if she would reject him. 

Outcome: He might not move towards the person he likes. He is not feeling secure to pursue her and put it stagnant. 

Chani

Personality:

He is very calm and he shows within his appearances that he has it all. He is grateful and is easily satisfied or maybe a bit spoiled.  He is charming and attractive and he knows it. He might have a lot of female admires. He might be young at age but he would be very great as a leader. He knows how to make others feel special. He might be a bit flirtatious. He kinda loves the attention. He is also a very caring and good father figure and stable partner to be with. He might be a player because of curiosity. But when he found the one his loyal heart will be for the only one. 

Love life:

Past: He is running away from all of the attention and the admires. Run away with his price but didn't expect that this price would affect his heart. 

Present: He is thinking about investing in her and wants something long term. Planting the seeds. 

Future: He is still a bit immature and doesn't really know how to give the person the right enough material offers, He might also be unsure to continue this relationship. He is still used to his old habit (getting a lot of attention from his admirers).

Outcome: He might be in trouble for not understanding the consequences if he is not able to change his habit. He might lose her or feel guilty or regret. Trying to change for the better but isn't fully committed to change yet.  That will be his lesson that he can't have both. Life will teach him to break free when he finds the one. 

Career reading for the group SF9

PAST: They had to deal with a struggle to feel left out in the cloud by their own agency. Feeling a little helpless sometimes. 

PRESENT: There is a sudden disruption. An unexpected change. Maybe a fight or disagreements and things. Confrontation. A new opportunity is going to be on the planning. Preparing for an album.

FUTURE: Planning new ideas in the future. Orientations. Acitvities.

OUTCOME: Open and generous energy. moving and working. The team needs to learn how to bring balance and be equal.  because I see some problems within some members or with a manager or mentor.

[okietrish]

House Party

Yall, I dreamt about this a few nights ago a decided to write it down. Please enjoy! Let me know what you think and all that! I haven't posted a fic in forever, but feel free to request. FEEDBACK PLEASE! (Boost my ego)

Word count: 2,919

Warnings: none it’s flufffffffff

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The party was going well. The boys had gotten to LA around a week ago but wanted to settle in before they threw, “totally the best party ever,” as Sammy referred to it. They were staying with you, which they have done for the past few years since you’ve all known each other. Your home was their home while they were in town, it was an unspoken rule at this point. Admittingly everyone seems to be having a blast. The house is filled, people are laughing, dancing, and getting piss drunk. You were thoroughly entertained, to say the least. You filled up your drink for the eighth time that night, or at least that’s what the sharpie tallies on your arm that Jake forced you to put there were telling you. You black out ONE time, strip on top of a bar and Jake has to pick you up and carry you home leading you to stick your fingers up his nose in protest and SUDDENLY you have to keep track of your drinks on your arm for all the Kiszka boys to see. They just don’t know how to have a good time. You giggle to yourself.

“Y/N!” Interrupted from your daydream, you turned towards the funky hobbit running your way.

“Josh, darling, how is your evening? What are you doing?!” You smile wide at the goof standing in front of you. His tanned cheeks were flushed bright pink and he was decently out of breath.

“GREAT, have your seen..” He was cut off by his two brothers jumping onto him, pushing him to the ground. You look around at the people surrounding you, making sure that others were witnessing what you were, that this wasn’t some drunken state of your imagination. You happened to catch eyes with Danny who was laughing hysterically at the situation and just shrugged his shoulders towards you, miming a simple ‘I don’t know’ gesture before going back to his conversation.

Looking down at the pile of Kiszka limbs you cough loudly, “Um hi boys. Can I help you?”

They all scrambled to your feet and straighten themselves out, still not saying anything to you, but just mumbling to each other. It wasn’t until you made eye contact with Sammy that he cued you in.

“Oh sorry, we were racing!” He said nonchalantly.  You looked at them, confused.

“Racing?”

“Yeah!” Jake chimed in.

“I’m so confused, why?” You questioned while sipping your drink.

Josh laughed and explained, “Well we were playing a drinking game and we all tied and couldn’t decide who won. We would usually ask you, but none of us had seen you in a while, so I screamed ‘first one to Y/N wins.’ And here we are.” You looked at the other boys for confirmation and they just nodded their heads in agreement.

“You all are weird.” You laughed at them and continued to talk to them about random things. They were telling you about the tour and the chaos in it all. Their music got brought up and you gave your opinions and your best advice. Working in the music industry is what brought you to meet this chaotic crew 2 years ago. The conversation always came naturally between you all, it’s something you loved about them. 

As the music got louder, not that you thought that was even possible, it became a little too chaotic for the group’s casual conversation so you promptly excused yourself and walked away, making your way out back to get some peace and quiet for a moment. Suddenly feeling very overwhelmed by everyone.

It was quiet back here since there wasn’t any speakers, booze, or drugs no one else was out there. Perfectly juxtaposing the inside atmosphere. Walking over to your fire pit in the very back of the yard you quickly struck a flame and created the perfect aesthetic for you to calm down. With the fire going you laid down on the large wooden swing and just looked out into the trees, losing yourself in the moment, laying there alone for about 15 minutes.

“Y/n.” You turned your head to see Josh gesturing towards where your feet laid on the swing, asking permission to sit, you nodded and went to move your legs when he placed his hand on your shin.

“Don’t move mama, I got it.” He lifted your legs and sat beneath them, placing them onto his lap. He immediately fell into tune with your serenity. It was quiet for a few minutes while you both just appreciated your surroundings.

You naturally fell out of your trance eventually and flicked Josh’s arm, breaking the silence.

“Hey.” He turned to look at you with a small smile.

“Oh hey! Didn’t see your there.” You rolled your eyes at him, causing him to playfully smack your thigh as he looked back to the fire. You got caught up into your thoughts again as you let your curiosity get the best of you.

“Josh, why did you come out here?” You questioned. Studying his strong profile. His jaw was relaxed, his breathing pattern now calm, tranquil even, in comparison to earlier. His cheeks, however, were still dusted with pink, probably due to the shots he was convincing everyone to take early on. He then took a deep breath.

“I wanted to make sure you were alright.” He began stroking your leg with his hands, absentmindedly drawing shapes on your shin.

“I am.” You cut short, not liking to get into it too much.

“I know, I just like to make sure.” He finally looked at you, smiling purposefully big to get a laugh out of you, a trick that always worked.

He knew that if you wanted to talk about anything you would bring it up to him. That was what your friendship was, it was close and open-minded. You bounced your existential crises off of each other. He often came to you for lyrical advice, knowing your mind drifted to creative depths that most people didn’t have the luxury of venturing to.

“You are something else, Joshua.” You began and suddenly got the drunken urge to touch his face. You quickly sat up, still with your legs over his lap, and lightly booped his nose.

He looked at you and giggled.

“Do you have a thing for noses when you’re drunk or what?” He laughed, recalling the memory of your wild night out. You looked at him in shock.

“Woah, the judgment I’m feeling right now. I don’t like it. And I was defending myself that night, thank you very much!” You crossed your arms over your chest in protest. 

He was properly cackling now. “Defending yourself from Jake who saved you before you showed a crowded bar your tits!?” You leaned against his shoulder in defeat.

“Ehhh wouldn’t have been that bad, would have given them a good show. Give the crowd what they want and all that.” You giggled to yourself, Josh quickly joining in, but stopping after a moment.

“You intrigue me, darling.” He began rubbing one of his hands and down your spine, as you leaned back to look him in the eyes, you gave him a questioning look and he continued.

“I mean, I’ve known you for a while, we all have. Yet, I am still surprised by just about everything that comes out of your mouth.” He looked at you and smiled tightly. The toothless smile that pulls his dimples in deep, a smile that usually tells that he is holding something back.

“I am one for a stupid comment, that’s for sure” You replied back, looking out onto the fire again. He adjusted his seating, sitting a bit more straight-up before he continued.

“It’s more than that Y/N. The way you process things and develop your thoughts. It’s… It’s something I haven’t come across before. The boys and I talk about you all the time. We try to guess, sometimes, the reaction you’re going to have to stuff. None of us are ever right, you know.” He was rambling on as he kept moving his fingertips on your spine, goosebumps beginning to show across your body in reaction, it sends a chill down your spine. Josh notices and breaks his trance with the fire to look at you before continuing.

“I mean, two years and you’ve kept me on my toes. Whenever I get stuck with my writing, whether it be lyrics or whatever, you help me effortlessly. It’s as if you know my mind through and through and can direct my emotions into phrases. They are always so poetic too. You’re so poetic…” He trails off looking out into the trees once again. You don’t know what to say, so you just snuggle into his side, your head pressed neatly into his neck as his breaths become quicker than his before steady rhythm.

“Thank you,” you mutter out, sitting back up, placing your hands in your lap, fiddling with your fingers before you continue. “Josh you make it easy for me. You and Jake, Sam and Danny, you all just stumbled into my studio one day and everything changed, I believe you still had a rat tail at that point.” You laughed at the thought.

“Oh god,” he commented back smiling down at you, keeping eye contact as you went on, continuing to rub your back in comfort; he knew it was difficult for you to be this vulnerable. You had this way about you that let you navigate other people's minds easily, but when it came to your own you were often at a loss for words. He was always patient with you.

“Josh. You’re one of the kindest souls I’ve ever met. Growing up I was outcasted for the way I thought. I always felt so alone for thinking the way I do, for being so ‘poetic’ as you say. I felt deranged at points, I felt too odd to deserve a place in the world. Then you lot came along… Joshua Kiszka your crazy ass almost makes me feel normal.”

You were breathing heavily after your quick rant. Josh kept his eye contact with you, but something changed within it. It wasn’t familiar anymore, something more than that. It was intense. Chaotically taimed with fear. You both stared at each other for a few moments in silence before Josh spoke up, keeping eye contact.

“Y/N.” He said wearily quiet. His face fell into a look that could only be described as gentle.

“Josh.” You whispered back, afraid that if you spoke too loudly you would scare the moment away. You could see the flicker of the fire that was dwindling down in the reflection of his eyes, his kind eyes. The eyes that feel like the truth to the universe, coaxing you in, not allowing you to look away. His hand that was on your leg lifted to cup your cheek, his thumb immediately began moving back and forth as if this was the most natural moment in the world. You allowed your eyes to flutter closed as you leaned into the feeling.

“You’re beautiful, doll.” He spoke lowley with precision, sounding like he was in a haze, a haze that was caused by you. You opened your eyes to meet his once more, but he was looking at your lips that were pressed into a blissed out smile. Under his stare, you licked your lips causing him to flick his eyes back up to yours quickly, a slight second of shock shown on his features before he settled again.

Both of your breaths picked up again. You didn’t know what was coming over you. Whether it was the chaos of the night, the mixed drinks, or the serenity of it all that caused the blissed out feeling that was washing over your body. Whatever it was you didn’t care when you broke into the silence in a voice smaller than a whisper, so quiet you weren’t even sure you spoke at all, maybe this was all in your mind; those words echoed through the silence.

“I want to kiss you right now.” Your small-phrase carried the impact of a scream. Josh sighed to himself, screaming just as quietly as you did just before with his own confession.

“Oh thank god.”

He leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. You were both gentle with each other at first, equally holding back the long awaited passion that viced you. It wasn’t until Josh pulled back with a low grunt that all filters where lost. Cravings took over as he pulled you to straddle his lap. His hands gripped you in any attempt to get you closer, one falling to the back of your neck, the other to the small of your back. Your hands fell into his hair, keeping is lips close, never wanting them to leave yours again.

You both were kissing as if it were a conversation. Allowing all the pent up, unknown frustration of your passion escape through your lips, only to be reciprocated with perfect understanding and authenticity. How long it lasted went unbeknownst to both of you. Time faded in the most delicate way, but eventually, you pulled back, out of breath.

You looked down at Josh who still had his eyes closed, a smile slowly coming to his cheeks as he opens his eyes and laughs out at you.

“What?” he pushed your hair off your shoulders as you continue to take in the sight before you.

You shake your head softly, “I just want to look at you.” You reached up to his face began tracing his features with your fingers, following your fingertips with your eyes. 

“I love looking at you,” You confess. Josh takes your wrist in his hand and begins kissing your fingertips, one at a time.

“You’re exquisite.” He sighs as he begins to pull your body back into his so he can kiss you again. You fall into him easily, quickly becoming addicted to the feeling. You lips press into Josh’s once more before you hear the heavy pounding of feet racing towards you both. You don’t tune into it quickly untill you hear a bellowing voice.

“Y/N?!? Y/N are you out here?!” An out of breath Sammy comes to a halt right in front of the fire turning to look for you. Quickly making eye contact with you and smiling and looking back towards the house, only to quickly snap back to take in what he is actually looking at. You straddling Josh.

This caused Sam to stutter out, “Oh what.. Umm… uhhh…” Quickly interrupted by a pissed off, equally out of breath Jake running up to Sam unknowingly.

“Fuck you Samuel and your freaky lanky alien legs! You winning is just fucking cheating and I’m sick of it! Did you find Y/N?” He questions and turns to look at Sam’s line of sight and lets out a shocked gasp as you slowly sunk into Josh’s chest.

“Well, I’ll be damned… Josh finally made his move.” Jake smirked at his twin with a cocky stance, a face that held a lot of emotions, but primarily pride in his brother. Josh groaned at his brother, hiding his face in your neck while you giggled at the situation.

Sam came back to the conversation and huffed out a loud breath before saying, “About fucking time you both realized you were made for eachother! You are the same damn person, fucking weirdos. You both like nature and weird clothes and fucking odd music that no one else in the world listens to and you both, like, read eachother minds and shit,” he looks to Jake for confirmation.

Jake nods his head and continues, “It’s weird right? Like Josh could be in the middle of a sentence and Y/N just comes in and finishes it.” They were now talking to each other as if Josh and you weren’t even there at that point. Jake continued, completely turning his body to Sam.

“Dude no one ever knows what Josh is saying, I was born with the kid and I still feel like I have to carry around a fucking dictionary to fully comprehend the bullshit he spits out. But Y/N she just… She just knows!” Jake threw his hands up in disbelief.

“Okay that’s enough!” Josh barked out, obviously not as amused with the situation as you were. You were still giggling at it all.

Josh then abruptly stood up from the swing, wrapping your legs around his waist and walking past his two brothers who drunkenly looked at us with dopey smiles.

“Excuse us fuckers. Put out the fire would you?” Josh yelled as he walked both of you back towards the house. You nuzzle your face into his neck as you looked over his shoulder at Sam and Jake who were cracking up at their feisty brother.

“Use protection big man!” Jake yelled out to us, leaving Sam in stitches, collapsing onto the swing.

Josh tapped your butt slightly, getting your attention, “Y/N, flip them off for me would ya?”

You did just that, causing the two boys to blow you kisses in return, sending you into another fit of giggles.

“Thanks babe,” Josh replied as he set you down to open the sliding glass door.

“Babe huh?” You looked up at him, smiling at the cute moment before continuing, “I quite like that.”

Josh smiled down at you, pulling you into another passionate kiss causing whistling to come from the drunk and giddy Kiszka brothers by the fire pit.

Josh broke away from your kiss to flip them off, then promptly throwing you over his shoulder and carrying you inside.

“Joshua put me down!” You yelled through your laughter. He quickly patted your thigh and hiked you up even further onto his shoulder.

“Never again love, you’re mine now.”

[unproduciblesmackdown]

posts about things with absolutely no introduction but it's because i was reminded of the topic the other day

this one's for those of us in the lifelong isolation no friends society, i know sometimes there's other people out there!! anyways i've been thinking about how like, personally, obviously, b/c idk how other ppl do it b/c we aren't friends with each other lol, its just a fuckin wild thing to deal with in part cuz its one of those answers to which there's not necessarily any Right Way to handle things or Answer or Solution or anything. isolation p much = more isolation and plus not having friends makes ppl less likely to socialize with you so that's rough; anyways yknow, the point is just oops you can't Choose to like, obtain a friend. u can try to get ppl interested but you can't control it beyond that, so, yknow

anyways what am i getting to? yeah so i've never had close friends in that i was never able to share personally honest things anyways for the longest time for a couple reasons, and also, people just didn't like me. the double whammy of "oh no its abuse" and "oh no you're lowkey socially ostracized by your peers from preschool on without end" is like, good luck to little me getting friends! i had sort-of friends in like a couple ppl who'd hang out with me regularly and on occasion we'd go to each others houses or smthing but it wasnt able to be like, the normal fun event it should. oh well. middle school was a little better and a little worse but i didnt keep up w ppl cuz i went to a different school later and its that situation where you're friends-ish Because you're at the same school right...smh...didnt thrive in college magically, but one essential thing was i was away from home more often than not so, that was real important ultimately. but anyways in the end i had like a handful of college friends-ish (accepted by other friends groups lol) and theres a couple of them i still talk to now and again

so like, yknow, friends, mostly friendly acquaintances, my siblings i'd classify as friendly acquaintances, i'm very glad about all of them really. just unfortunately i've only just started to have friendships that are like a decade old and the "longtime close" friendship is nonexistent b/c college is just four years and then you go other places, and i'm not at the heart of friend groups and not "good" at communication in other ways so its hard to keep in touch in ways. smh!!

funnily enough i'm also not good at internet stuff though it's been absolutely essential, god knows. that's why i'm able to talk to anyone rn!! but i can't do group chats and i only like approaching things "one on one" aka i don't like feeling like im in the midst of a group even outside group chats. if you get what i'm saying. like even back being in the small early mh fandom of like, three dozen ppl, in retrospect i didnt like having to be in the entire Group yknow. lemme just be over here. which is what i do now.

anyways for additional reasonsl, communicating has been trickier these past few years and for the most part its been kind of a situation where i wasn't necessarily going to get to talk to someone every day, though usually it'd maybe only be like, a gap of a day or two. and anyways, the thing is that, over the past ten years especially its started to be Distressing like wanting friends, not as much having them, and also having it be more obvious that there was some kind of deficiency keeping me from having (and having had) friends like other people did. not fun! but what i'm getting around to here, whats been wild, is just this like, decade-ish (or two decade-ish if you want) Personal Effort to just figure out how the fuck to stop having to feel like shit about it all the time right? then you're lonely AND stressed and probably self loathing also

so like yeah, the thing is that the other day something was going on about like, yknow, the idea of the longtime close friend with a steadfast presence in your life, and that's just always like, lfjdglmao what!!! sounds nice. i had a friend for a week in second grade and im not sure we ever spoke and then the teacher made us sit on opposite sides of the classroom and it was too embarrassing to be friends anymore. that's kinda close but lol for real......it's not only the lack of friends to tackle but also like, i don't assume to have friends in the future. it's something that like, i would obviously theoretically want, and be happy if it happened, but i can't say i hope for it, because that implies too much being expectant or whatever. and it's weird!! its a weird time just kind of presuming friendlessness until otherwise occurs. and it's not great, i'm definitely still unhappy about all this shit. its just that i've also like, been able to shave off how distressing the issue mightve been in earlier years yknow

like it sounds all depressing to say like, i've just had to be less emotionally invested in the whole thing, but it's kind of true. not by ignoring it or ignoring the feelings so much as like...just acknowledging that this is how it is and there's only so much i can do but not hating myself about it is a start. and yeah it's like "oh, feeling less, depressing" but also frankly when i decided also that its less horrible to be friendless than to feel stuck w crap ppl / ppl who you aren't too important to / etc, i figured that i'd also rather be friendless and just enjoy being myself than try to make myself easier to talk to. i'm not like intimidating or anything, i just can't hold a conversation. but i'm not very interested anymore in trying to convince ppl to like me, yknow, i'm out here, and if i'm ever going to have friends i'd like them to be people to like me For Who I Am, wipe tear. what i'm just saying is "a weird dumbass" b/c its just vague social weirdness that ppl don't necessarily like, loathe, but probably they'd rather talk to someone else. i'm not great at socializing stuff, like i said, hence social rejection since age 4

oh and i meant to say!! i've been able to turn up my emotions by turning down my investment in the idea of Needing To Always Be Trying To Make Friends b/c, as anyone might know, all i like to do is talk at great length about whatever weird, niche shit i'm into at any given point. and that's pretty much it. i'm not pretending to be deep by not really knowing how to do small talk. lmao you guys know what i'm talking about. and obviously not everybody is into Getting Enthusiastic or super focused on whatever weird thing at any point, and i'm not Into getting my passion all fired up and being brushed off or anything, so we can all avoid each other, and i get to continue entertaining myself

so that's a way i've been able to turn my feelings up actually lol.....dunno how to segue into it so i won't but it's also just like, not saying that i Truly Don't Care about not having friends, or that it doesn't hurt that i've had this relative friendless past and the futures looking bleak, b/c it does!! it's still distressing. but like, its turned down. the whole general issue can be a very Bitter one for sure!!!! and it has been in the past sometimes and like.....it's still there basically, i've just been able to turn down the volume a lot on a bunch of these shit feelings like "that's upsetting" or "i'm bitter about that" and just kind of calmly let it simmer back down b/c i'm sort more familiarish with what sets it off and more familiar with Dealing With It Always overall

no idea if i've made the point i was setting out for there. dealing with the No Friends Isolation Life society life is not fun but we're out here, sometimes. it continues to be not fun. "oh well," is an often relevant sentiment. c'est la vie. c'est ce que c'est? i think. and i think it's nice that after years and years of just like, struggling to figure this shit out myself, and probably feeling like shit most of the time, i've at least managed to go "shh" at some Bad Feelings. definitely still there. but this time it doesn't heap extra shittiness on top b/c of having to deal with the intensity of it and feel bad about that too etc etc. it's all weird! getting more familiar with dealing with some shit which is just, the way that it is in part because of bad luck and of course i'm jealous of everybody who does have friends. but oh well. b/c c'est la vie. im also glad for everybody who has friends, obv. it's all complicated!! which is just part of why this post exists. it has no real point, i'm just kinda going like, weird, huh? and kind of good, and kind of a bummer. oh well

also im aware this is a suddenly long, technically depressing post at like circa midnight for a lot of people, but basically this is just me in normal mood. sometimes it's depressing posts time out of nowhere, but i'm not especially depressed!! nighttime is just more of my Peak Hours. night owl 4 life. thanks

oh and ps. another thing i would think about (with more distress in the past, and like, no distress now) is that its also funny cuz, one thing i’ve generally had to do is be aware that it’s a bigger deal for you (me) to get a new Friend than it is for them to be getting you as a friend, b/c math says so. and so i’ve had to push myself to not be overly hopeful or invested in order to be both fair to them and myself. and nowadays that’s just kind of how i view the no-friends-ness of it all, like. i’m not mad that i’m not for some reason way closer to anybody i know. why would i be. and i don’t expect anybody to think like “oh my god we have to be Good Friends” because like. not in a self deprecating way but like, why would any random person want that. and i dont expect to be better friends with ppl im just casual friends with, which is great, cus like Friendly Acquaintances and other lite friendships are fantastic and im very grateful. but i am aware there’s plenty of reasons making it difficult to just like, pick up a Close Buddy and i’m not like “oh i demand one from somewhere, from some reason.” so what i am trying to say is that keeping my expectations honestly realistic is an effort to be fair to both other ppl and myself and i think it works. no friends!! we out here!!!!

[vjdarkworld]

The Witcher 3 Review (NO SPOILERS)

Score: Recommended, for people that enjoy Storytelling

Best:

Storytelling

Adult content

Difficult Choices

Embodiment of Polish folklore

Quests

Good:

VisualsOnce you have a lot of good tools to use, gameplay is funExploration and Open World

Observations:

Lots of tools but all singular use, instead of few tools with dynamic usage.

Bad:

“Slavic jank”

Requires playing of Witcher 1&2 OR read the books

Performance

Best:

Storytelling

This not only includes how the stories unfold, but as well the characters and world they inhabit.

One word to describe it would be believability. Of course, it’s fantasy but the way standard fantasy things would be handled is done well due to the characters.

A plot is a series of character interactions, so ultimately a story is only as good as the characters it has. Truly what sells the world is how the characters interpret it, and they all have differing viewpoints. Some take the Dark Fantasy world seriously, others find it a chance for a Fun Adventure, and most attempt to drink their sorrows away. But my personal favorite interacts in the series is between Geralt and his friends.

This is where it becomes real for me, relationships. Throughout Geralt’s adventures he meets many people. He doesn’t get along with most, but there are some he actually befriends. And even though nearly all his friends are eccentric which contrast the stoic white wolf, he still has long and ongoing friendships with em. As the director of the game said, “friends are the backbone of your life” (he was talking about life not the witcher but oddly enough it connects to the witcher for me) and that is exemplified by Geralt.

All in all, the relationships between the characters make the storytelling real.

Adult content

While other games have sex in it, The Witcher series has been able to portray sex for what it is…. Sex. Bioware has the lovely dovey sex after you Romance them, but in the Witcher it’s different and more Realistic. Adults have sex for various reasons and it’s not always romantic. Most of the time it’s just for the act itself, having a single fling cus sex is Fun.

Since witchers shoot blanks they have the stereotype of being promiscuous. It’s up to the player (no pun intended) if they will let Geralt succumb to Hook Up Culture, or actually stay in a dedicated monogamous relationship.

Something like this just isn’t address in any other mainstream RPG.

Other serious topics are brought up as well related to sexual violence and racism. They are all handled well due to one simple theme present with each situation. That is the fact that you can’t be neutral, you have to pick a side.

 Difficult Choices

It’s funny cus the white wolf almost embodies the “grey area” of neutrality that generally serious RPG fans walk the line of. That the player will be understanding for all Characters and trying to figure out a solution. But most situations aren’t like this realistically. Theoretically sure you can be critical of Both Sides, but in practice you HAVE to pick a side. Or maybe you don’t pick a side and “stay neutral” which can be the worst option cus you could be letting bad stuff happen that you could of prevented. This is why when choices pop up for Geralt, it’s pretty serious. Especially cus the effects of them happen way later in the game before you realized what you did wrong.

These choices impact the fates of certain characters, among other things. Choose wisely, or you may not be happy with what you did.

 Embodiment of Polish folklore

I’m no expert in Polish culture, or of ye’ old slavic and pagan mythology, but the entire game reeks of something being different. It just doesn’t seem like your typical Tolkien fantasy. There’s a unique twist that is clearly the result of the entire game being developed in Poland, thus polish culture shining bright within it.

Some people joke that the Witcher series is Poland’s main export, but atleast for entertainment it seems quite true. It seems like a major group effort from creative minds of Poland, banding together to present their folklore to world. Major props and respect to the CD PROJEKT RED team!

 Quests

Quests are designed like episodic content. For side quests and hunter contracts, they all tell a good standalone story from start to finish of the quest. Sometimes quests interconnect too, reference each other, presenting how much the world is connected. It makes doing the quests quite addicting cus you want to see what’s going to happen next in the quest, and then when you finish it you want another good story so you start another one. It’s almost like bingewatching a tv show. Having good stories for the quests makes even the most mundane tasks more appealing too. Trying to tell a story… WHAT A CONCEPT!

 Good:

Visuals

They are pretty nice looking if you got the Specs for it. Sometimes regular real lofe animals like cats and dogs look weird but overall its good. Landscapes pretty, monsters spooky, humans all raggedy. The aesthetic sells the world quite nicely.

 Once you have a lot of good tools to use, combat is fun

When starting out the game, you have limited options for combat. But through the course of the game, gaining abilities, new gear, etc etc, gives Geralt more tools to play around with. This is when the game opens up and you can mess around a bit. The white wolf can get pretty OP too if you play your cards right. To which if you think the game is too easy, you can always play on higher difficulties.

 Observations:

Lots of tools but all singular use, instead of few tools with dynamic usage.

Due to how alchemy and signs work, signs, oils, potions and decoctions generally have only a Specific situation use. Some are more versatile, but most times you will be looking up the Bestiary to figure out what tools to use.

On one hand this kinda makes the combat seem flat, cus of the limited options you can do, BUT thematically it makes sense why. It makes sense why it’s like this for a hunter of monsters, there’s a lot of monsters and they all have different weaknesses so it makes sense as to why the design is like this.

On top of that, it’s kind of deceptive cus you CAN experiment but only when you have a LOT of the tools and you know what all their purposes are. It’s a barrier, but you can get over it.

But still, in the end the gameplay still isn’t as dynamic as other combat systems which is a shame in my opinion.

 Exploration and Open World

Points of interest are labeled on the map. You get good loot and fight monsters at these points most of the time. It doesn’t truly make the game world feel Alive necessarily, it just seems more like extra stuff to do. I appreciate the effort of given the player stuff to do if they completed quests and are bored, and you get neat goodies from going these places but it’s really just There.

 Bad:

“Slavic jank”

There’s a bit of a joke about games made in slavic related areas. They are often associated with janky games, but games with so much dedication behind them that even though they are janky it’s so unique that it’s fun. Something like S.T.A.L.K.E.R. for example. This phenomena is due to how the gamers in these territories are completely out of the typical western Triple A bubble. And generally dedicate their time to old CRPGs, which causes them to grow a fondness for more Detailed and Dense design instead of Simple and Elegant. This isn’t a bad thing, and this type of thing can be seen in The Witcher series, where it’s both Triple A BUT has that old school CRPG style to it.

All that is good in my opinion…. But I have to be honest and say that the gameplay can be too janky at times. Movement in general feels weird with its velocity and acceleration. Roach controls awkwardly and doesn’t feel like a horse, more like you’re on something sliding around. When you run into other animals or enemies on Roach you just push them away and not run them over.

Also, for some reason the controls completely change when in combat mode and you can’t control at all when combat mode happens. This causes awkwardness where you are not moving the same way as before, as in… an enemy triggers you to go into combat mode but they are too far away for you to hurt so you are stuck moving around weird. It’s just an odd system, which I prefer to have a full range of movement and attacks, not being arbitrarily pushed into combat mode.

Also, the inventory is a bit confusing to navigate especially if you are trying to find a specific item hidden in the Other tab.

The whole character upgrade screen too is not clear cus there’s clearly abilities that are better than others WHEN you actually know their potential, but unless you’re looking up guides and the wiki you won’t really know which are the good ones to actually invest in.

All these little things that kind of ruin the “game feel” make people not want to play it past a couple hours cus they think the game is “janky” anddd the game is actually kinda janky. I have to admit it, can’t lie. There’s other open world games that have better movement overall, and I wish that this game did.

 Requires playing of Witcher 1&2 OR read the books

Now you may wonder, what’s so bad about that? Well, I was being critical about this games jankiness, but really it’s not in the slightest as janky as Witcher 1. Witcher 2 isn’t as much janky, but Witcher 3 improved on a lot of Witcher 2’s problems so Witcher 3 is in fact the least janky.

Now it would be a hard sell to say “you need to go through 50+ hours of the previous installments to play this?” BUT if the other installments were as polished as this than it wouldn’t be as much of a problem… But it’s like I can’t tell someone “Oh you have to play through these janky games to play this game, don’t worry it’s worth it bro” cus that’s disrespecting their intelligence AND worst of all their time. Not everyone has time to look play through decent games to get to an Amazing game just so they can understand the story… which is sad.

Cus don’t get me wrong, I adore Witcher 1 more than most, but I can’t lie and say it’s worth “slogging” through the awkward gameplay to see the amazing story unfold down the road.

Why? Even if it’s a unique OK… there are better games to play that are more than just OK.

And to the book point, you shouldn’t need to read a book series before playing a videogame, the entertainment should be as singular as possible. The witcher videogames too have a different storyline than the books anyways, so it’s a moot point of them being in the same continuity and being “required”… even though they technically can help if you didn’t play the other games. Still not fair though, so nah, just nah.

 Performance

You need to make sure you have a midrange build atleast so you can run the game. But man do the frames drop in cities. Back on my old-midrange build I could play at around 50-60fps outside of Novigrad… but IN Novigrad I had 10-20fps due to NPCs and who knows what else. Also just some areas would lag on that build regardless if something was at low or medium. Very finnicky. I think by now with all the patches and optimization it’s probably better buuut I can’t say the game is well optimized. It’s serviceable with a good build… but ya get kinda screwed if you don’t and that’s a shame.