#maybe im just tired of being the one happily bearing all the inconveniences
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Are we supposed to make friends in college or is this like a work acquaintances sort of situationship?
#my friend group were talking about how having me near was like a sparkle#but then I remembered they never checked in on me or talk to me other than when I approach them or#make me a part of their conversations unless I smile and joke around or look for me unless they need me#or they need someone to fill a spot#this is what happens when you make friendships by how much you entertain them cus no one wants you when you have issues to deal with#I am remembering when id try hard to catch up with them even using an uncomfortable timetable so we could do things together#like going to canteen together or other places and how id cancel my own plans to be there for them#but they'd show up if its an emergency for me. so I cant complain. its just that id put in too much effort. and then be disappointed because#the others wouldn't do the same.#in the end I idealized friendship like in the movies but no one else wants something like that..#wouldn't it be nice to have a ride or die#are we still friends if you dont wait for me to have lunch together when we've done it always#maybe im just tired of being the one happily bearing all the inconveniences
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