#this is what happens when you flood my inbox!!
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I’m so sorry for what you went through and I do hope the person stealing stays off the internet and goes outside to learn why this is bad.
I’ve had my own work stolen, and it’s made me less comfortable uploading, it worries me there isn’t a more firm way to report theft of art and writing.
I wish you nothing but the best!!
Taking this as an opportunity to respond to the multiple messages I've gotten in my inbox, as well as this one.
Thank you, anon and all other users that sent me something whether it be alerts to happenings, consolations, or words of relief that this is over. I really do truly appreciate the effort so many people put into this when dealing with the situation. I am so relieved to say that it appears to be over, and we can finally move on. I hope y'all don't mind me answering each one through this one message. I just don't want to flood anyone's dashboard with my posts, considering the amount that I've done today.
Hopefully this will have been the last we see of plagiarizer Kristynaka1. As I'd like to continue on with our regular scheduled programming of yapping and silly posts.
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i miss my anons so i made a bunch of memes :D
#i miss you all COME BACK TO MEEEEE#i love that this is just my anons + ari#honorary anon#this is what happens when you flood my inbox!!
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Cherry.
Synopsis - The lines of friendship get a little blurry, one unassuming Friday night in December.
Pairing - Bestfriend!Steve Harrington x Female Reader
Warnings - smut. cursing. steve's got an ego, but for good reason.
Age Rating - 18+
Word Count - 2k
Author's Note - hi lovelies!! my first steve fic!! listen, I actually really didn't enjoy stranger things, but... I love this man. he's charming and he's a softie and he's such a good character to write. hope you enjoy this - it's got me all warm and fuzzy. please feel free to send me a christmas request if you fancy, I'm in the mood to write some seasonal fics. much love, always!! <3
as always, reblogs are the only way to circulate my fics!! please, if you enjoyed, consider reblogging this so it gets further reach. comments and feedback are always appreciated!! thanks, angels. <3
Part Two. Part Three. Part Four. Masterlist. Inbox. The Moodboard. Series Masterlist.
Three rocks ping off the panes of your bedroom window in quick succession.
You're applying your moisturiser in the mirror, winding down and almost ready for bed. Your reflection is illuminated by a faint glow from the fairy lights you've draped over the headboard for the festive season, warm and comforting. A soft, jazzy melody is drifting from the radio softly, a welcome noise to break up the silence.
Another rock hits your window.
You fly out of your seat and towards the source of the trouble, worried that he's going to throw one too hard one of these days.
"Steve," you hiss as you yank it open. "Cut it out. Just come through the door."
"Where's the fun in that?" he chuckles, eyes rife with mischief.
You roll your eyes but step back anyway, making room for him to climb the tree and dive through the window into your room.
"Hi, sugar."
"Hi, Steven."
He grins at you, bright and awake despite the late hour.
"Don't you have better plans on a Friday night, King Steve?"
"And miss out on seeing you in your little pink pyjamas? Absolutely not."
You shove at his chest, smacking him upside the head for good measure. He feigns pain and wraps his arms around your middle, picking you up off the ground and spinning you in circles. You shriek, and the sound makes him laugh.
"Okay, okay! I'm dizzy! Put me down!"
He obliges by throwing you unceremoniously onto your bed, smirking when you almost bounce off it.
"So," he begins, sitting down across from you. "How was it? Do you feel like a whole new woman?"
You scoff.
"What? That bad?"
"Yeah, that bad. We didn't even do it."
He quirks a brow in curiosity, tilting his head to look at you.
"I thought tonight was the big night?"
"Yeah, it was supposed to be. But he was kissing me, and it just didn't feel... right? He started grabbing at me and I realised that you can only lose your virginity once - and that definitely wasn't how I wanted to lose mine."
You shrug, trying to play indifference, but Steve can see the hurt in your eyes.
"You always deserved so much better than him."
"Thanks, Steve."
"Come on, Cherry. The guy is an asshole who happens to be attractive. His face is the only thing he's got going for him."
The mention of your childhood nickname has memories of fruit flavoured popsicles on summer days flooding back. Laughter by the pool, pushing Steve in and screeching when he dragged you with him, staying out in the sun until you were both exhausted. Cherry. You've always been Steve's Cherry, for as long as you can remember. You still wear the lip balm he bought you last year, fitting for your moniker.
"You didn't like him from the start. Actually, you've never liked any guy that has ever liked me."
"Because they're not good enough for you."
"Says who?"
"Says me."
"And you're the boss of me and my love life now?"
"I'm the person that knows you better than anyone in the entire world. I think I have a pretty good view on things."
You huff, but accept your defeat in knowing that he's right. No one knows you like him. Steve always does this. He pisses you off, but makes you love him a tiny bit more each time.
He grabs your foot from the bed, pressing his thumbs into your sole. You relax instantly, tired of half arguing with him.
"I give up."
"With what?"
"Dating. Fuck it."
He chuckles, rubbing soothing patterns into your ankle gently.
"You've barely even started."
"Ooo, sorry Mr Womaniser."
"Stop it," he chides, pinching your calf. "Maybe The One for you just isn't in Hawkins. This place has always been too small for us anyway."
"Yeah, maybe. It'll all change when we go to college, hopefully."
"Exactly. It'll be a whole different ball game. There'll be tonnes of hot guys begging for your attention."
"And you'll be fighting them off."
"Yes I will."
You laugh, poking him in the chest with your foot teasingly.
"And maybe the college guys will actually know what they're doing in bed."
"Hey, some of us do know!"
"Yeah yeah, Steve's good in bed. I've heard it all before."
"Don't be jealous, Cherry baby."
"Jealous isn't quite the word I'd use."
"No?"
He drops your foot and scoots closer, settling in between your parted legs.
"You're not even a little bit curious what all the rumours are about?"
"Steve," you laugh. "I think they're probably just exactly that. Rumours."
He inches in towards you, so his forehead is almost touching yours. Running his fingers up and down the outside of your thigh, he takes a deep breath in.
"You should let me show you just how much I know. We're not all clueless, Cherry. I'm confident I could make you feel good."
You exhale with a shudder.
"I'm not letting you take my virginity, Steve."
"I don't want to. There's a thousand ways I can make your legs shake without fucking you, baby."
You stare into his big doe eyes, admiring the way a single strand of hair has fallen across his forehead. You look for a shred of doubt, or amusement, but all you see is love. Admiration. Trust. Sincerity.
"Okay," you breathe, before your mind has truly processed what you're saying. "Show me what you got, Harrington."
He grins, slow and saccharine, like the cat who got the cream.
"Steve?" you whisper.
"Yeah?"
"This isn't going to fuck things up between us, is it?"
He smiles, big and bright.
"Never. Nothing is ever going to fuck things up between us. It's you and me forever, Cherry Pie."
You chuckle at the nickname, stroking his cheek with your thumb.
"Well, then what are you waiting for?"
He shakes his head and grabs your ankle, pulling you across the bed and into his body. Wrapping a hand around the back of your neck, he leans in, pressing his forehead to yours.
"If at any point this gets weird, or you don't like it... Just say the words, okay?"
"Okay," you breathe, inhaling the scent of mint from his tongue. "Promise."
"Can I kiss you?"
"You don't usually ask," you tease.
It's no secret that you and Steve have kissed a few times. Once after prom, once at a party here and there, once when you were cuddled in bed comforting him after a break up. But it's never led to anything more. Which is probably why this feels a little different.
"I know, but this is a little more... intense, than usual."
You try to ignore the way your heart swells at his consideration for you, and nod your head gently.
"Kiss me. Please."
Steve wastes no time, leaning in to press his lips to yours. He tastes like spearmint and soda, with a hint of the cherry lipbalm he steals from your nightstand. You instinctively shuffle closer to him, straddling his lap as his arms bracket themselves around you. It's like he can't decide where to put his hands - they're roaming up your back, squeezing your ass, kneading your thighs. He's antsy and impatient, eager to feel you.
"Lie back," he whispers against your mouth, tipping you onto the bed.
Your head hits your pillows and you crane your neck to watch him as he crawls down your body, eyes never leaving yours.
"Steve-"
"Stop thinking so hard, Cherry. I can practically hear your thoughts."
You huff but can't keep the smile off your face, willing your mind to stop racing.
"Let me quiet things down, hmm?"
Steve presses a gentle kiss to the inside of your knee, trailing up and up until he reaches your hip. He licks across your hipbone before nipping it with his teeth, smirking when you gasp.
Grasping the waistband of your pyjama shorts, he asks for permission with his eyes, no words needed. You nod and lift your hips, letting him slide them down your body.
You've never been so exposed, which is causing a sudden realisation that the two of you are crossing a line that can never be uncrossed. As if he can read your mind, Steve presses a kiss to the inside of your thigh, tender and full of love.
"Babe, if you want to stop..."
"I don't, I promise. I'm just nervous. I'm sorry."
"Don't apologise," he murmurs, resting his head on your thigh and looking up at you. "Never apologise. You're doing so good, Cherry. I love you."
You didn't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't I love you. You've both said it to each other a million times, but something about saying it in this exact moment makes it feel... weighted. You'll talk about it later. You'll make sure of it.
"I love you too. So much."
You're whispering, scared to ruin the peace you've created. Steve kisses your skin again gently, gazing at you like you've hung the stars just for him.
"Let me make you feel good, okay?"
When you nod, Steve nudges your core with his nose, arms wrapping around your thighs to keep you anchored in place.
"So pretty," he's mumbling. "Prettiest fuckin' girl I've ever seen."
He starts slow, easing you in carefully. Kitten licks and gentle nips, testing the waters. When you tangle a hand into his hair and tug, Steve gets the message.
"You want more, pretty baby?"
"Yes," you confirm, more breathless than intended. "Please."
He dives back in, this time with more intention. His nose keeps nudging your clit, the friction licking up your spine deliciously. It's like he can't get enough, eating you out like a man starved.
He groans into your heat, the vibrations making you whine. When he curls his tongue just right, you keen, the sounds leaving your mouth foreign to the both of you.
"Fuck, you sound so beautiful. You're perfect. God, you're perfect."
"Stevie," you pant. "So close."
"I got you. Atta girl, I got you. That's my girl, give it to me."
Maybe it's the my girl, or maybe it's the way he's slipped two fingers into you, but the coil snaps. Your back arches off the bed as white heat engulfs your body, vision going black for a moment. You can hear him talking you through it, loving and encouraging. Eventually, your grip on his hair loosens as you go lax, collapsing back against the comforter.
Steve grins at you as he licks his fingers clean, crawling up your body to kiss you. You groan when you taste yourself, arms wrapping around his shoulders to keep him close. Resting his head on your chest, you run your fingers through his hair, humming gently when he relaxes.
"You okay?"
"Never better," you laugh. "You're good with your mouth, Harrington. I'll give you that."
"Told you the rumours were true."
You shake your head and reach over, grabbing the glass of water from your nightstand and taking a sip. You offer it to Steve without a second thought, rolling your eyes when he downs the rest.
He plucks your cherry lipbalm from the drawer and applies it to himself, before leaning up to carefully do the same to you. He pecks your lips sweetly before returning it to its rightful place.
"You replace it, don't you?"
"Hmm?"
"The chapstick. I've had it for a whole year, and I've never even come close to reaching the end."
He blushes as he looks at you, suddenly bashful.
"It's special," he murmurs. "It's our thing, you know? And it smells good. I like knowing that I'm the only one who knows you taste like cherries."
You want to poke fun at him, say something to make him laugh. But you can't. He's rendered you speechless, for the second time in one night.
"I like knowing the reason you taste like spearmint is because I've been slipping pieces of gum into the pockets of your jeans for ten years."
"I knew it," he laughs, leaning up to kiss you firmly. "I can't tell you the last time I bought gum."
"You're welcome."
Steve shucks off his jeans and his shirt, climbing into your bed with just his boxers on. You slip your underwear up your legs before getting under the comforter with him, tangling your limbs with his.
The tunes from the radio still hum gently as the fairy lights flicker.
The room is unchanged.
The people in it are not.
read Part Two here. Part Three here. Part Four here.
@lillian-gallows @bookish-embroidery-witch @sweetdazequeen @fruityforcocoapuffs @steviespookie @livsters @diffrent-spokes @violet2022 @mrsjoequinn @valerievortex @chrrymunson
#steve harrington fic#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington smut#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader smut#steve harrington x reader fluff#steve harrington x bestfriend!reader#bestfriend!steve harrington#bestfriend!steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x bestfriend reader#stranger things x reader#stranger things smut#stranger things fluff
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seven minutes in hell (roman godfrey x reader)
WARNINGS: 18+, public sex(??), voyeurism, emotional extortion (Roman is such an ass omg), groping, foul language, smoking, angst, mentions of sex
summary: after you made out with Roman during a game of seven minutes in heaven, he insists that you owe him for not telling Letha about it-- how can someone so beautiful be so evil?
word count: 8,192 (yes I know lol)
PART 1, PART 2, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10
a/n: after having my inbox flooded w sweethearts asking for a part two, here you go!! I do advise new readers to read the first one before this, because idk how much sense this is going to make without it lol, but enjoy!!<33
Paranoia. That was the only word that could describe the week that followed the party where Roman and I had kissed.
I had spent every waking moment wondering when Roman would show up to cash in his debt or prick me with a goddamn needle. His words lingered in my mind, haunting me; "Fine, I'll be nice. But you owe me," The reminder of those words sent a shiver down my spine, and I couldn't help but wonder how I could've been so stupid as to rope myself into something like this.
Roman knew I liked him. In fact, he knew it very well. I couldn't even mask my feelings with hatred anymore, and everything about that made me want to throw myself off a cliff-- that would probably be more merciful than whatever it was that I had in store.
After we had made out during seven minutes of heaven, I had to tell my best friend, Letha, that nothing had happened. If she found out that I had made out with her cousin, I doubt she'd want to have me hanging around any longer. And quite frankly, Letha was my favourite person in the whole world, so it was detrimental that she stayed close. She was like a ray of sunshine peeking out through heaps of stormy skies; there was no way in hell I'd lose her without a fight.
Which is why I needed to keep Roman in check, along with my body un-pierced by any incoming needles.
The first time I saw him after the party, was a few days later in the cafeteria at school. I had stopped in my tracks, completely turning to stone as I watched him with his friends. It was almost as though I was afraid he'd see me if I moved, and to my shock, that's exactly what happened-- as I shifted my weight from one foot to another, harshly gripping my tray of food, his eyes landed on me with a quickness that immediately threw me into a state of panic. I bolted with speed I didn't know I had, not stopping until I reached the other end of the school, panting.
The second time had been at the library. I had been looking for a specific book that was quite old, meaning I had to do a lot of searching-- the librarian had been of no help, of course. As I scoured the shelves of endless books, crouching down to get a look at the lower sections, I suddenly felt a pair of eyes on me from above.
I looked up to find Roman's green eyes staring at me from the other aisle; his height made it ridiculously easy to lean over, having no visual obstruction of my side of the shelf. Something about the smirk playing across his lips made me freeze up-- it felt like I was prey, about to be eaten whole. I let out a squeak of horror as I grabbed the first book I saw, not letting him get a word in before I dashed towards the exit without a second thought.
The third time was the absolute worst; I had been walking down the stairs with Letha, on our way to our shared history class, as we suddenly encountered Roman on his way up. I felt my heart beat against the books I now pressed tightly against my chest, holding my breath as he neared us with a conniving look on his face-- I was quite sure I had lost all the blood in mine.
As Roman and Letha had a conversation about some sort of family dinner later, I did my best to make myself as small as possible; I wondered whether I should slip away into the crowd or just throw myself down the stairs.
I was quite sure that it was clear to Roman why I was avoiding him, and I was even more sure that it also was amusing to him. It was rather obvious, with the way he obnoxiously eyed me up with a growing grin. "You okay?" he asked, nudging me. "You look spooked."
Asshole. Just the slightest touch was enough to make me flinch, and my words came out in a breathy mumble; "I'm fine,"
Roman nodded, exchanging a look with Letha. He grew taller when he took a step up, inching closer as he leaned over to check which books I had pressed up against my chest. His long, slender fingers reached forward to tug at one of the books to get a better look, and I would've missed the note he slipped down along the front of my history book if I had blinked. As Roman pulled away, dragging his fingers through his hair as though nothing had happened, I held my books as tight to my chest as I possibly could to not let the note slide down to the floor.
My heart was beating harder than ever as Roman made his way past me, his familiar cologne lingering in my system as Letha and I made it to class five minutes early. As she left to use the bathroom, I could finally put away my things, inhaling a shaky breath as I checked the note;
meet me behind school in an hour, or I tell Letha everything
I couldn't help the groan that escaped me, ripping the piece of paper to shreds. This was not going to end well.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
Somehow, I had managed to pry myself away from Letha for long enough to make it in time for my meeting with Roman. I was tugging at the sleeves of my jumper, anxiously ripping at the fabric. Wondering whether I should've worn protective gear to shield myself from any needle-kinks he might impose on me, I trembled with fear-- I didn't want to see him.
Despite my wishes, Roman eventually came around the corner, a rather mischievous smirk spread across his soft, pink lips as he neared me. His hands were tucked into his pockets as he leaned against the wall next to me, his green eyes etching themselves into my skull. His usual cardigan was draped around his shoulders and over his white shirt, tied in the front, as he crossed his long legs in the classic Roman Godfrey stance. "I'm glad to see you came,"
"As if I had a choice," I mumbled, glancing at our surroundings, not wanting to be caught alone with him here. I had to do everything in my power not to look at the casual swoop of his hair, not wanting to think about how handsome he looked right now. "What do you want?"
Roman blinked twice, almost as though he had expected me to say something else. "Isn't it obvious?"
I was afraid my heart was pounding audibly in my chest. "No," My gaze darted down to my shoes, kicking away a nearby rock. "Can't we just forget any of it ever happened?"
"Well, that was sort of the draft of the original plan," Roman said, shrugging. "But you've clearly not been able to forget it, with the way you've been avoiding me for a week now... So it seems we have to resolve this, somehow."
Did this mean that I had only made things worse for myself? I wanted to hit my head against the wall and bleed out-- that would probably feel better than what I was feeling on the inside right now. "The actual kiss hasn't been on my mind much... Mostly just the needles,"
Roman let out a huff-- was it a laugh? "I'm not going to fucking poke you, could you calm down about that?"
"I can't be sure when it comes to you, Roman!--"
"So you haven't thought about it?" He cut me off, eyes sparkling with the need to know. "The kiss?"
If I'd had something to throw at him, I would've done so in a heartbeat. Why was he so keen on knowing that? "Not much,"
"Only at night?"
I couldn't even hold back my grimace, listening to him snickering like a proud toddler. "Definitely not," I grumbled, now kicking at another rock. "Why does it matter to you?"
Roman shrugged; "I don't think you understand how intriguing it was to find out you've liked me all this time," He watched as I continued to tug at the sleeve of my sweater, looking like a nervous wreck. The image before him made his grin widen. "You've been the biggest bitch ever, do you know that? I was dead sure you hated my guts until you begged me to fucking kiss you!"
"I didn't beg!" I exclaimed, protesting. "In your fucking dreams, Roman!"
He rolled his eyes, taking a step towards me. Feeling his presence inching closer, I stopped kicking the scattered rocks around me, looking up to meet his gaze.
Roman leaned down, matching himself on the level of my widening eyes. He studied me as I froze to my spot like an icicle, holding my breath to not get swept up in thoughts of how good he smelled and how soft his lips looked up close. "You're still running your mouth," he mumbled, and I felt his eyes fall on my lips as well. "I thought you might get a little nicer if I complied with your little kiss."
His way of thinking had me furrowing my brows, confused. Was that why he kissed me? A tiny piece of my heart broke, the hope I had buried deep in my gut dissolving. Why had I ever hoped that his reasons for kissing me the way he did had been different? "I'll be nice if you agree that I don't owe you anything anymore. It's been driving me nuts,"
With this, Roman broke out into a rather abrupt laugh; "Are you kidding? There's no way in hell I'd absolve you of that, anymore,"
The laugh felt so damning, I couldn't help but shudder. I was two seconds away from kicking him instead of the rocks. "What do you want, then?"
Roman straightened up, the look on his face giving away that he was debating what to choose. "It's probably not something as bad as you expected it to be," he said, nodding to himself as he no longer met my hard gaze. "I'd just like it if you told me why you like me."
What? I stared up at him in disbelief, lips parting in shock. Had I avoided him like the plague over a simple question? Sure, it wasn't the most comfortable one to answer, but my mind had already concluded that he would stick me with needles like a voodoo doll and leave me for dead on a road somewhere. "Uh... Could I ask why?"
"Nope,"
I nodded; "Okay...?" Clearing my throat, I pondered where to start. I hadn't actually thought about this question, and I had to scour my brain for the answer. "I don't know," I eventually mumbled. "I guess I just think you're handsome." Saying it out loud physically pained me, but I knew I had to get this over with.
Roman blinked twice, meeting my gaze with a rather empty look about him. "That's it?"
"I don't know? I think so," I shrugged, searching through my mind for more. "You're my type, I suppose. Tall, brown hair, green eyes... And unattainable. I guess that a part of me likes that you'll never like me back." Saying this out loud, however, was even worse. I hadn't thought about it like that up until this moment.
Roman seemed even more confused than I did. "So it was nothing that I did?"
Something told me he was searching for something more meaningful, but I had always known that my crush was superficial. "I don't think so..."
What followed would haunt me for days on end; Roman broke out into a rather maniacal laugh, running his hands through his hair in clear denial. "So it's just the same, then," he said in between hiccups of laughter. "It's not about me at all!"
I could only watch as he went into some sort of a mental storm, biting down on his lower lip to suppress the noise. "I don't think you quite understand how it is for no one to like you for you," Roman continued, now pacing back and forth as his trail of words sped up; "You've probably never had that problem, right? Guys probably like you because you're nice to them, I've seen that multiple times. Or that one guy that just hasn't left you alone since you sat together during assembly that one time-- what the fuck was his name?"
I held my breath; what on earth was I witnessing? "Roman, I think you're spiraling, let's just breathe--"
"Daniel, wasn't it?" Roman finally looked back at me, a cramped smile on display along his lips. "He definitely likes you for you, right? Not just because you're cute? That must be fucking nice."
I had never imagined that I would pity someone for only being liked for their looks. Somehow, I found myself wanting to comfort him, and I had to fight that instinct. "It would probably be easier for you to find something real if you weren't such a prick," I mumbled. "If you didn't tug people's hair, throw stuff at them, or stab them with needles?"
That seemed to be enough for Roman to take a step back from his weird state, his pacing coming to a halt. Something seemed to be dawning on him, a crushing realization that should've come about ten years ago, but instead of taking it like an adult, he retaliated; "Well, you're not exactly doing any better than me! You've liked me for God knows how long, and you've treated me like utter crap!"
"Because you did the same to me!" I said, feeling my voice raise with my emotions. "You've had no interest in me, along with all the bullshit you've pulled all year! Don't you think it would probably be easier for me to like you for who you are if you had been a pleasant person to be around?"
Groaning, Roman turned his back to me, ready to walk away. After taking a few steps, he turned on his heel, facing me once more. Fury was burning in his green, green eyes, fists balling up as he spoke; "This is not over. You tell anyone just a tiny fraction of this conversation, I'll tell Letha I fucked you raw,"
My jaw fell in complete and utter shock as he walked away, cursing myself to the heavens and beyond. How had I managed to make this an even bigger mess than it was before I came? As I went back to kicking rocks, trying to catch my breath, bits of the conversation suddenly came back to me; did he just say that I was cute? That he had seen me with Daniel during assembly, and that he had spotted me talking to my previous flings?
This only made everything furthermore confusing; it was obvious that he didn't like me, either. But what on earth was going on in that brain of his?
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
The next time I saw Roman was a few days later in the hallway during rush hour. I had spent several nights tossing and turning, trying to decrypt the conversation that continued to haunt me. The conclusion I arrived at, was that he might be lashing out with the needles and the childish behaviour because he didn't know how else to express interest.
But then again, that would mean that he was very interested in me. I was sure something was wrong with that conclusion, but I couldn't pinpoint any other possible theory at this moment. I also couldn't shake how upset he looked when he found out my crush was purely superficial; was his need to be seen for who he was so overpowering?
So when I finally flagged him down, Roman was in a rush, and this was rather unfortunate; my legs were much shorter than his, and I had to go into a jog to not lose sight of him. Eventually, I caught up to him, grabbing his wrist and tugging at the sleeve of his shirt to get his attention.
Roman seemed rather confused, glancing down at me with a wild look in his eyes which quickly died out when he saw who it was. "What are you doing?--"
"You smiled at me in class," I confessed, feeling my cheeks redden. "The sun was hitting your eyes in a way that made them extra green, and you smiled at me and handed me a pencil. That's when I knew I liked you." Slowly, I pried my fingers away from his wrist, letting out the breath I didn't know I had been holding. It felt like an enormous weight had lifted off my shoulders, like the anxiety that clung to me had been washed away in a calm stream of water in the mountains.
Why did I feel such strong a need to tell him my crush wasn't purely superficial? That it had stemmed from the simplest act of kindness? I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Did I pity him that much?
Roman's pupils expanded, and he stood as if glued to his spot. People kept passing us by, but it was as though all the surrounding sound died out. It was clear that his mind was racing, his brows drawing together in confusion-- or was it disgust? I couldn't be sure. Either way, my heart was thumping so hard in my chest that it hurt.
I cleared my throat; "Have... a nice day," Before he could answer or make fun of me, I turned on my heel and bolted down the hall, knowing my heart wouldn't be able to take it if he shut me down once more.
I couldn't take any more of this. Clutching my heart as I made it to my locker, I knew I had to get ready for class and that I didn't have time for the crushing feeling taking over my chest.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
A big part of me had hoped that our last interaction would be the end of it all. That I wouldn't have to owe Roman anything anymore, that he wouldn't be threatening to tell Letha that we kissed or fucked or whatever-- I should've known that was an unattainable reality.
I was practically falling asleep at the end of a long day of school. Exhausted, I allowed myself to close my eyes as I leaned my head against my palm, elbow at my table, waiting for class to start. A worrying thought popped into my head as I realized that chemistry was the only class I shared with Roman, which meant that he would probably be showing any time soon.
With a yawn, I blinked several times, hoping to wake up as I sat back in my chair. I was about to do some stretches, but as I turned to my right, I let out a yelp, nearly falling off my seat.
And I would've fallen right down to the floor if Roman hadn't grabbed the edge of my chair, holding me back with one hand as though it was nothing. "Careful, there,"
That's exactly what he had said when we were in that damn closet playing seven minutes in heaven. I shivered, getting a severe case of deja vu as I looked back at him in disbelief. "When on earth did you show up?"
"Right around the time you nodded off," Roman's books were already on the table-- had I genuinely slept for a minute or two? How could I have missed this? He let go of my seat with a snicker, shaking his head; "You're quite the case, aren't you?"
I didn't like the sound of that. "What do you want? Why are you sitting here?"
"Could you relax?" Roman rolled his eyes, his mood worsening by the second. "Look around, Sherlock, there's nowhere else to sit."
It pained me to realize he was right. With a huff, I fought the urge to kick him under the table. As the teacher finally entered the classroom, excusing himself for being a few minutes late, I let out a sigh of relief; I hoped to avoid talking to Roman as much as possible from now on. After I had confessed to him and gotten nothing in return again, I was dead tired of seeing his gorgeous face-- it was physically painful, at this point.
As class started, I reached into my bag to find a pencil. A good minute passed by as I rummaged around, which eventually garnered Roman's attention; he immediately knew what I was looking for. He turned to me with a spare pencil which he had lying about on his table, holding it out in front of me.
Someone up there was definitely playing pranks on me-- I was sure of it now. With an embarrassed smile, I watched as the sun hit the green of his eyes, illuminating them further as I reached for the pencil. The tips of our fingers touched, just for a few seconds, but it felt like I had almost burned myself with how my nerves reacted to the nudge of his hand against mine.
Roman seemed to understand the irony of the situation, the corners of his mouth tugging upwards into a dizzying look of kindness.
There it was. The root of all my problems-- the simplest act of warmth along with the most beautiful smile I had ever seen. The bullshit that started it all.
I hummed to myself as I broke eye contact, crouching over my table to start taking notes, desperate to distract myself. Every fibre of my being felt like it was buzzing with electricity, unable to calm down.
It didn't take long before Roman shoved a small note onto my part of the table. I gave him a look before I opened it, sighing.
we need to talk. meet me by my car after school
Turning to Roman, I couldn't help but glare; this again? But his smirk melted me in more ways than one, and I knew that it could have consequences if I didn't go.
Fuck.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
I waited until there were almost no cars in the parking lot in front of the school, hiding away in the library in the meantime. I didn't exactly want to be seen talking to him. As I finally walked out past the front entrance, I held my breath as I spotted Roman leaning against his red jaguar, typing away on his phone. I wondered who he was texting-- was it Brooke from the cheerleading team? No, it couldn't be; unless she still wanted to be with him after he pricked her with the legendary needle.
It didn't take long for Roman to put away his phone, watching me as I neared him. Something about the way his hair lay in waves over his forehead made him look like even more of a heartbreaker than he already was. "Long time no see, hm?"
I didn't even want to fake being entertained by that-- we both knew that we'd seen each other in class less than twenty minutes ago. "What do you want?"
Roman rolled his eyes; "Can't you at least act like you like me? We both know you do,"
Something about being called out like that didn't sit right with me, but I swallowed my curses. I had to be on his good side, after all, so that he wouldn't turn around and tell Letha what had happened between us. "Did you want me to come skipping down the stairs and run to you?" I asked, getting a good look at him. "Or maybe a blowjob before I bake you a pie?"
A humoured smirk spread across his lips, giving in to a chuckle. "You could at least start by standing a little closer?" Roman put his hands up in the air as though he was surrendering; "Look ma, no needles!"
I huffed, complying. I took a few steps forward, watching the last car leave in my peripheral view. It was definitely not a good idea to be alone with him like this-- I should've known better.
This didn't seem to be enough for Roman, who proceeded to tap the spot next to him on the hood of his car.
I groaned; "Roman, come on--"
In a swift motion, he hooked his fingers inside my front pockets, dragging me forward as I yelped. Roman grabbed my hips, forcing me down on the car with a soft thud. With wide eyes, I turned to him, watching his hands disappear back into his pockets.
"You're infuriating," Roman mumbled under his breath, fishing out a pack of cigarettes from his right pocket. He held it out in front of me; "Want one?"
Honestly, I had only smoked once. It had resulted in me coughing up what felt like half a lung. "No, thanks,"
He shrugged, lighting up a cigarette as he hummed. This little dance around why he had told me to come made me further nervous, once again reaching for the sleeve of my sweater, tugging at the seams that had come loose. The smell of nicotine infiltrated my nose, and I turned to him just in time to watch him exhale a few rings of smoke, eyes transfixed on them as they evaporated into thin air.
Finally, Roman spoke up; "I'm calling for a truce,"
What? My eyes widened, scanning him for lies. "... What's the catch?"
Roman turned to me, a slight smile splayed across his lips. "You know me too well," he said, chuckling as a light breeze passed us. "I want us to play a game, and then all is forgotten."
"Oh no," I blurted out. "What kind of game, Roman? Can't you take pity on me just once?--"
I immediately shut up as I felt his arm wrap around me, holding out his cigarette in front of my mouth between his fingers. I wasn't about to start fighting him in an empty parking lot, so I parted my lips, accepting the cigarette despite knowing I would cough up everything I had eaten for lunch if I inhaled properly.
Roman's face was suddenly very close to mine; "Ever heard of this game... Wait, what was it called? Seven minutes in hell?"
For fuck's sake. I watched as he laughed, amused by his joke. Still, my eyes darted down to his bouncing leg, watching as he gave away a sliver of nervousness. I reached for the cigarette, getting it out of my mouth; "Sounds about right," Balancing it between my fingers, holding it out in front of his mouth just as he had done to me, Roman hummed as he wrapped his lips around the cigarette, taking a puff.
Before Roman could take it back into his hand, I pulled the cigarette away from him, putting it back into my mouth. Something about sharing the cigarette was making a familiar ache between my legs throb, which in turn made me cross my legs. I didn't inhale the smoke into my lungs, keeping it in my mouth before breathing it out, knowing it was hard to differentiate between that and the real thing. "Where would we play?" I eventually said, glancing at him.
Now that we were sitting like this, Roman's arm around me, I realized we hadn't been this close since that party where we had kissed. Something about his embrace was comforting, despite me knowing that he was doing it to take the piss out of me. However, my steadfast belief in his reasons became shaky as I met his eyes, watching how unusually big his pupils were as he looked down at me, a certain calmness about him. "My car?"
I couldn't help but giggle as I handed him the cigarette, our fingers meeting in the exchange. "I'm not making out with you in your car,"
"Why not?"
"Every single cheerleader slut at this school has been in the back of that thing,"
Roman shrugged; "Not everyone. Eleven out of fifteen,"
"Ew, you're not making it any better!--"
"Fine!" he huffed, giving me a squeeze with the arm he had around me. Roman put out his cigarette by throwing it to the ground, giving it a proper stomp before he turned to me, a mischievous smirk on display. "No one has been in the front, though."
It was hard to say no when he looked at me like this; how was it possible for someone so conniving to be so beautiful? I had to look away from Roman-- it was getting impossible to breathe. Tugging at my sleeves once more, I realized I had ripped out a new seam. "Look, I have to say I'm a little confused... You're not even into me, so I don't get why you'd want to kiss me again," I let go of my sweater, realizing I would probably manage to rip it all apart if I didn't calm down. "It really is a power thing for you, isn't it?"
Roman hummed, rubbing my arm in a soothing manner as he stared out at the parking lot with a rather hollow look in his eyes. "Yeah... That's definitely what it is,"
I didn't have time to wonder why he didn't sound so convinced. As I dared to look at him again, I watched him lost in thought, pondering something. I took that as my cue to get out of playing his game; "Making out would probably be fun and all, but don't you think it is more beneficial for you if we maybe got to... I don't know, know each other?"
Confused, Roman's gaze darted back to me. "Why?"
"You seemed to be a little upset that I didn't like you because of you, remember?" I gave him a playful nudge, drawing forth a smile. "Instead of imposing your weird dominance kink or whatever it is on me, wouldn't you want to prove that there's more to you?"
This seemed to strike a chord with Roman, who slowly started to nod in approval. "That... doesn't sound so bad,"
I damn right hoped so-- I let out a shaky breath, relieved to not become the twelfth girl to end up in Roman's car.
。゚•┈୨♡୧┈• 。゚
I couldn't believe that I had managed to fix myself up with a date with the Roman Godfrey. He was practically known for never going out on dates with anyone, but here I was, running around my room trying to find something nice to wear.
However, there was one tiny hoop I had to get through-- Letha was on speaker phone as I rummaged through my drawers, and my heart was racing as I tried to avoid her questions."I still don't get why you can't hang out today!" Letha whined, clearly upset with me. "I thought you were going to help me pick out some shoes down at the sale!"
I grimaced, feeling like the biggest prick on the planet. "I'm sorry, Letha, I'm just not feeling too good..." With a heavy heart, I could hear her sulk on the other end as I finally found the perfect bag.
"I've barely seen you this week... You've been so jumpy, I just feel like you're avoiding me. Did I do something?"
No, no! I was about to protest until I heard a sound coming from my driveway; I made my way to my window, glancing down at Roman's red car, watching as he parked. Clearing my throat, I rushed to my phone; "Letha, I'm so fucking nauseous, I think I need to throw up... I'm so sorry, could I call you back later?"
I heard her sigh; "Get better soon, okay?--"
As Roman started honking outside, clearly impatient, I had to leave the call without even saying goodbye. Groaning, I gathered my stuff, making my way down the stairs and outside with hurried steps. "Stop that!" I said, trying to steady my breathing as I approached the car. "My parents are inside!"
"So what?" Roman's cocky smirk was on display as always, tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. "Whatever dumb fuck told you I'm a patient man, is a dumb fuck." Roman got out of his car to open my door on the other side. It was nice to see that he had a gentleman bone in him-- it gave me hope that this date wouldn't crash and burn.
And weirdly enough, it actually went quite well. I had been worried that he'd take me out shooting or whatever it was that he did in his free time, but Roman settled for something simple-- we were currently sat in my favourite café in the city, having the most normal conversation we'd ever had.
"You're kidding me?" Roman said, putting down his coffee with a look of shock on his face. "You've never seen The Godfather?"
I couldn't help but huff-- this was a solid reminder that he still was a guy at the end of the day. "I haven't gotten to it, I guess,"
"Well, you have to!" He ran his fingers through his styled hair, shaking his head in disapproval. Roman was wearing a different shirt today that I hadn't seen before, and I was getting the feeling that he had actually dressed up a bit despite how casual this date was. "What else haven't you seen?"
"Uh, I don't know?--"
"What else haven't you done, is probably a better question," Roman was grinning from ear to ear now, eyes sparkling in anticipation. "First kiss?"
"David Parker, eighth grade," I put down my milkshake with a smirk, happy to be sizing him up. "You?"
Roman seemed beyond amused; "Amanda Reiley, sixth," He leaned forward, placing his elbows on the table, intrigued that I wasn't backing down from his intrusive questions. "First time?"
I had to suppress a cough, feeling as though I was choking on air. There was no way in hell I'd tell him I hadn't had sex yet. "... Some guy I met on vacation last year in Greece, don't remember his name,"
"Really, now?" Roman hummed, leaning back against his chair. "Not buying it. You squirm like a virgin every time I look at you."
My breath caught in my throat-- "Pardon?"
It seemed that my reaction only amused him, but he still spared me by brushing over it. "My first time was with Denise Campbell, ninth grade. Was really sweet, actually,"
I tried to shake off the fact that Roman had been right in his deductions. The story of his first time was unexpected, and he had been quite young-- concerningly young. "Roman Godfrey and sweet don't usually go together, in my book. Did you light candles or something?" I took a sip of my milkshake, watching him break out into a smile.
"Honestly? I think she lit one," he said, a soft chuckle following.
I had forgotten how beautiful his laugh was. Flustered, I put away my milkshake, tucking a strand of hair behind my ear as I met his gorgeous, green eyes. There was a calmness about him now, something I had trouble getting used to. It was a big contrast to the way he had looked at me while we played seven minutes in heaven, or the way he had been looking at me the whole week I had avoided him. The usual feeling of unease that crept up my system whenever he was around was long gone-- it was almost as though we were friends.
Nervous about my next question, I started picking at my nails; "So where did it go wrong?"
"Pardon?"
I didn't meet his gaze anymore. "When did it become casual to you?"
"Sex?"
"Sex,"
Roman hummed, taking a rather long sip of coffee. I wondered whether I had gone too far with the question, but he didn't seem fazed. "Didn't get too far with being sweet, I suppose,"
This was definitely a chapter in Roman's life that I hadn't expected to hear about-- who had broken his heart? And why was it comforting to know that he'd had that experience? Something about it made him more human. "That's sad," I mumbled, forcing myself to leave my nails alone. "Sweet usually gets you quite far."
Something about that seemed to intrigue him; he moved to the edge of his chair, closer. "Don't you girls usually like the bad guys? That seems to work well, in my experience,"
I shrugged; "It can be fun for a week or two. Any longer than that, and your heart starts to tire,"
"Ah," was all Roman said, tapping his fingers against the table in an impatient manner. "Would you want to get ice cream? It's on me."
This conversation was starting to give me whiplash. "I'm sold," I eventually answered, shooting him a smile. It was nice to know that he wanted to continue the date despite my intrusive questions-- I couldn't lie; I was rather enjoying myself. And my ego was getting the biggest inflation it'd had in a while, remembering he didn't usually go out on dates at all.
About half an hour later, we were now walking down the street with our ice cream, once again debating why I hadn't watched The Godfather-- boys really love that movie, don't they? I took the liberty of looking up at him as he explained the plot to me in excessive detail, watching his hands flail around in excitement as he spoke, eyes round and green, and the way a single strand of hair lay in front of his eyes, straying from his stylings.
The man I had hated this whole year suddenly became a person to me. A person with interests, quirks, and feelings-- weirdly enough. Roman didn't come off as a spoiled brat right now, and I could barely remember a time when I would run away from him and his needles. Like this, I could imagine sweet moments with Roman, possibly even holding his hand as we walked down this street, doing normal stuff together.
In another lifetime, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you.
However, I was quickly yanked out of my daydreams when I spotted a familiar figure leaving the shoe store across the street. With a panicked yelp, I grabbed Roman, dragging him down the nearest alleyway as I felt my blood run cold.
Roman looked beyond confused; "What are you?--"
"Letha!"
His mouth formed an 'o', watching me press myself up against the wall. "She doesn't know?"
I shook my head, letting out a shaky breath. This was definitely not what I needed right now. If she found out I was here with Roman and that I had lied to her, I was sure she'd have my head. Why couldn't I just melt into the wall and become immaterial?
With ease and calm, Roman grabbed my finished ice cream, putting it down on the ground along with his own before nearing me. "We'll wait it out,"
What? "Thought you were ready to rat me out?" I leaned forward, glancing past the corner of the alley, making sure Letha hadn't seen us.
"Well..." Roman put his hand on my shoulder, guiding my back to the wall once more. "I know she'd kill you, and you can't die before watching The Godfather."
Had I not been preoccupied with being quiet, I would've groaned right in his cocky face. The hand he had on my shoulder burned against my skin, and I was getting flashbacks to our time in the closet at the party where we had kissed. "I've repaid my debt to you now, anyway," I mumbled, warily glancing past the edge of the corner where we were standing, watching Letha from afar.
Roman's hand on my shoulder quickly made its way into my hair, fingers twisting themselves into the nape of my neck, forcing me to face him. I let my breath escape me as my lips parted, watching him with big, wide eyes; what was happening? It was at this moment that I realized how close he was standing, how he was practically pressed up against me.
There was something sinister about the look on Roman's face-- it suddenly dawned on me that he was still the same person, even though he had buried this side of him for a few hours. He would always thrive when seeing someone in an anxious state, feel joy at any visible conflict or misery, and it dawned on me how bad of a situation this was when his next words came out in a dangerous whisper; "I could just call her over here, do you know that?" Roman's grip on my hair tightened, almost enough to make me wince. "You've made quite a mess of yourself, sneaking behind her back. I could ruin you in a second."
"You won't, though," Fucker.
Intrigued, Roman's green eyes sparkled; "And why are you so sure of that?"
My chest was heaving against him, hating every second, every minute of this encounter. When had he turned into such a sadist? Was it after Denise Campbell in ninth grade? I wanted to make sure I asked him that next time. "Because this gets you high," I hissed. "This feeling that you get from watching me get scared? You're addicted. You're a fucking junkie."
I felt Roman breathe out against my lips, leaning closer, eyes burning into mine. I could see the flickering flames in them, and I knew that I had set them alight-- I was quite literally playing with fire at this point. "Well, this is who I am," he said through gritted teeth. "Do you get it now?"
"Get what?"
"Why no one likes me," Now, the fire died out, turning into an unintelligible emotion swimming in the green of his eyes. I didn't need to be a specialist to understand that he was baring his coping mechanism for me to see. "Why no one ever will. And why you will go back to hating me once we're done here."
It felt as though I had finally finished a puzzle with five thousand pieces. This was it. Had Roman made himself so unlovable to protect his feelings? Were all his stupid quirks just means to scare away girls so that they would stop liking him? I couldn't help but pity him-- beneath his harsh exterior, I could sense who he was beneath all of it. In a flash of emotions, I reached out to touch his face with a wary, gentle touch.
Roman's eyes widened, confused, as I moved away the strand of hair that strayed from the rest.
"I know you said this wouldn't be easy," I said, voice soft. "Whatever would ensue between us. And I spent a lot of time thinking about that, actually, and I think the answer is that you just make it hard for yourself." Sighing, I let my hands rest against his shoulders, watching his every move and reaction. It was obvious that he was caught off guard. "I pity you, Roman. But I thank you for making me realize how much guts one must have to feel... Why are you so scared?"
Roman just stared at me, his breathing coming out in shallow breaths through his nose. He stood as if frozen to his spot, and his hand left my hair, falling to his side as his eyes never left mine. "I'm not scared," he eventually said.
"You're terrified,"
"No,"
"There's no point denying, it's really fucking obvious--"
"No, it isn't!" Roman snarled, grabbing my hands, and prying them off of him. "Maybe I just don't like you in that way, have you ever considered that?"
I shrugged; "I have. But it still doesn't change the fact that I can read the fear on your face like an open fucking book,"
Groaning, Roman let out an exasperated sigh. He let go of my hands, the fury apparent in his unsteady breathing. It was obvious that he had never confronted his issues head-on, and that he didn't like the process one bit. "You need to watch your mouth,"
"Or what?" It was as though my fear had escaped me, staring him down with challenge burning its way through my veins. "You're going to tell Letha we fucked or whatever? Go ahead, see what I care! Just know that I will be telling the whole school that your dick is smaller than my pinky if you do."
Roman's eye twitched as he let out a guttural growl, body tensing up as he balled his fists, one of them returning to my hair. It was clear that I had angered him; he grabbed a fistful, yanking my head upward with a force that made me wince, pulling me flush against him. It was at this moment that I felt something press up against my stomach-- my eyes widened with the realization that he was hard. "Do you still like me?" he asked, his breath tickling the underside of my nose.
When I refused to answer, Roman took my silence as a yes. "You're going to hurt yourself if you continue to,"
"Wasn't it you who proclaimed me a masochist?" I answered, a smirk forming on my lips. Something told me that I had him cornered.
And I was right-- it was Roman's turn to go silent, staring into my eyes as multiple emotions flashed before him. Standing like this with him was almost comforting; I had finally deciphered him. I knew that he had practically built himself a fortress of hate and fired the canons at any signs of intrusions. He was so desperately human right now-- it was making me dizzy. Or was that just his harsh grip on my hair?
"Roman?"
A hum.
"You can kiss me now if you want to,"
The hand in my hair loosened its grip, and I watched as Roman inhaled a long breath, no longer conflicted.
And so our lips came together in the alley, a rather hungry kiss ensuing. My hands went up into Roman's hair, letting out soft gasps against him as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me closer to him with a burning need. I could taste the remnants of the chocolate flavoured ice-cream on his tongue, the sweetness mixing in with the roughness of our kiss. I wondered whether he could taste the vanilla on mine-- chocolate and vanilla were my favourite mix, anyway.
I knew there was a possibility of Letha spotting us if she walked our way, but it only made me more desperate for Roman. I had missed him dearly, the memories of our last kiss having haunted me through every hour of every day. There was no doubt in it now-- he wanted me too. It gave me such an immense rush, along with the satisfaction of feeling how hard he was against me, the throbbing of his cock continuing against my stomach as he pressed me further into the wall behind me. Something felt wrong about him being aroused after our fight, especially now that we were practically in public, but I knew I didn't want to push him away just yet.
I was completely breathless by the time Roman shifted, his thigh now pressing up against the apex of my own. Caught off guard, I whimpered as he grabbed my hips, moving my hips against him as the kiss deepened, growing further needy. I could feel it in my bones; not only did he want me, he needed me. This was just about the biggest high I had ever had. Roman Godfrey-- all mine in this moment.
The friction between my legs, feeling his cock continuously brush up against my stomach through our clothes, had me gripping his shoulder, disconnecting our kiss to catch my breath. My head rolled back against the wall behind me as I pondered how I had allowed this to happen, not used to pleasure caused by others.
Roman's fingers wrapped around my throat, holding me in place as we rocked against each other, lips hovering above one another before they came crashing together once more, unable to keep away. I let out a broken whimper, my hands flying back up into his hair, pulling him closer as pleasure coursed through my veins in a way I hadn't ever felt before. I couldn't quite put my finger on what this was, but I had never been this certain that I liked it.
I let out a broken moan as my head rolled back once more, which in turn had Roman connecting our lips, muffling any sounds. This was where I was reminded that we were in public, wondering if I had gone absolutely mad-- I blamed it all on him. His beautiful eyes, his strong arms, and his addicting, soft lips. As Roman continued to grind me up against his thigh, pulling away to watch my lips part and my body squirm in pleasure, I gazed up at the way the corners of his mouth turned up into his signature smirk. He knew exactly what he was doing-- messing with me like this, practically in public.
It took a lot of willpower for me to push him away, whimpering slightly at the loss of contact. "We-- We can't," I said, catching my breath.
Like this, I could see how disheveled Roman's hair was, how his lips looked swollen with kisses, and it made my stomach flip-- how was it possible for someone to be so beautiful, even when completely unraveled?
Roman shrugged, grinning from ear to ear. It was clear that he was scanning my look of arousal; "My car is right around the corner,"
"Okay...?"
Leaning forward, Roman captured my lips in a short kiss. "I can park it somewhere desolate," he said, nipping at my lower lip.
I couldn't help but shiver-- that sounded really fucking nice at the moment, but I knew I had to control myself. And I wasn't about to lose my virginity in a car? "Another time," I mumbled, struggling to catch my breath. Who would've known that arousal could cloud the mind like this?
Roman nodded, accepting my words as a promise. "I'll hold you to that,"
Oh no-- This again? Great.
Just great.
(a/n: here are the links to PART 1, PART 3, PART 4, PART 5, PART 6, PART 7, PART 8, PART 9, PART 10!<33 thank you for reading!!)
#roman godfrey#hemlock grove#roman godfrey x reader#x reader#bill skarsgård#fanfiction#oneshot#bill skarsgard#fanfic#smut#angst#toxic relationship#reader needs a good shaking fr#ugh roman why why why#finally getting to use my psychology skills to decrypt Roman hihi
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Writing Mad Characters
Okay this is a bit awkward because I had this question copypasted into Google Docs I use to draft my answers, and I realized I've lost the question in my inbox (which is being flooded).
So...I'm so sorry for whoever asked this question. Sorry for the delay because I was struggling with life in general for the past month and definitely SORRY for losing your question (-‸ლ)
Q: I'm writing a story where a major character is slowly spiraling into madness where small details kinda hint into the downfall right before the bigger details appear and then it the floodgates open. Is there anything I should avoid? Anything that I should keep in mind? Anything that I should research?
Things to Avoid
“Mad” or “Insane” is too general. Writing a cliched ‘crazy’ character who randomly talks to imaginary people and lashes out at strangers, you’ll offend a whole bunch of people who've gone through/have mental illnesses. Read up on existing mental conditions (schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, post-traumatic disorder and borderline personality disorder, etc.) to see what your character might have.
Words like “mad” “crazy” or “insane” aren’t enough when you’re describing their status. As mentioned, these words hardly mean much when it comes to providing a clear description.
Contradicting yourself. Throwing random unhinged symptoms here and there wouldn’t work. In fact, you must have a clear arc on which they’re traveling and ensure that your “hints” are all getting at something.
Making the character overly destructive or harmful to others (when nothing really justifies it)
Justifying damaging behavior with this “madness”. Mad or not, your character will still have motives and goals that drive them forward.
Making them look incompetent just the fact that they have a mental condition that makes them appear “mad” to others shouldn’t prevent them from achieving success. In fact, they may be even more cool-hearted and logical when it comes to their obsessions/goals.
Research Tips
Narrow down the mental conditions your character experiences. Even if it’s a fictional condition, try basing it on existing ones and building on top of them.
Take some time to study characters and/or real clinical cases that resemble the kind of madness you’re going for.
- Anxiety Disorders: excessive fear and dread (ex. phobias) - Mood Disorders: persistent swings in mood or persistent feelings that interfere with daily life (ex. Depression, bipolar) - Psychotic Disorders: disordered thinking (ex. schizophrenia) - Eating Disorders: extreme emotional attitudes toward food (ex. Bulimia, anorexia) - Impulse Disorders: unable to resist urges (ex. Kleptomania, pyromania, gambling) - Personality Disorders: extreme inflexible personality traits (ex. Anti-social disorder, OCPD) - Past Traumatic Stress: persistent, frightening memories leading to emotional numbness
Does your character have empathy?
A sociopathic kind of madness is different.
General Writing Tips for Spiraling into Madness
Establish a Baseline
A lot of factors (stress, family history, innate personality, trauma, etc.) can contribute to madness, but it is not going to happen in a week. Define the existing mental and physical conditions your character has, and start from there.
If you’re aiming for suicidal tendencies at the end, you want to start with symptoms of depression (a condition that may lead to suicide) - growing apathetic, erratic sleeping patterns, irritability, etc.
This is also the stage where you want to plant some triggers that’ll go off later.
Trigger Events
A perfectly sound character suddenly spiraling down the madness route due to a single accident or traumatizing event isn’t convincing.
A madness “snap” denies the reader the experience of watching the character’s journey into madness and how they feel about it.
Internal Conflict (antagonist in himself)
You must remember that madness is incurable. If someone could “cure” themselves by eating healthy, exercising and taking a few pills, it wouldn’t be much of a madness, would it? This means that the worst antagonist is going to be the character themselves, or the part of them that’s been taken away.
Show how they are frustrated with themselves, scared of themselves, angry at their “alternative self”. The experience of not knowing yourself is a whole journey of its own.
Physical Manifestations/Quirks
If your character has a routine, show how they break down.
They might develop habits that they otherwise would never allow themselves to have, perhaps as an effort to “keep this madness out”
Deteriorating Relationships
Depict how the character’s madness impacts his closed/loved ones. In the earlier stages, those close to him might be faster to notice and accept the signs of madness, even if the character denies it him/herself.
The first signs of madness might show when the character is trying to deal with difficult relationships - like losing patience and being unable to pick up subtle social clues.
Choosing Obsessions Over Primal Urges
For these characters, obsession can take over a person’s normal urge to eat, sleep or even live. This can lead to, more or less, suicide.
Example: In Black Swan, Nina’s obsession with becoming the perfect ballerina drive her to insanity, to the point where she doesn't mind dying on stage for the show.
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emotional bullshit
ੈ✩‧₊˚ bakugo x reader
✧.*
LABELS: the sad, the happy, the mad. life. small little drabble abt bakuuu
him waking up with tears in his eyes. you wondered what he dreamt about.
you knew about what happened in his highschool years. you didn’t know the gratitude at which it truly effected him though.
he didn’t like talking about the “emotional bullshit” he would say.
shutting down and walking away when you tried to help him.
you would get into screaming fights with him, yelling at how
“you don’t need to be a hero for me katsuki!”
he would shrug you off. holding his head high, and pushing his feelings down deep.
it wasn’t until you two got married when he was okay with crying infront of everyone. smiling and laughing, tears streaming down his face as you two walked back down the aisle as offical partners.
the day he got to call you his wife was the day he opened his emotional flood gates. the once one angry and aggressive boy, was now a passionate and reserved man. yes he still had a temper, there was no changing that.
any time anyone bumped into you in public he would speak up without hesitation, “watch yourself fuck head.” he would mutter out before you dragged him away.
but then on the other side, was the man you married. the one that sat with you on the floor of your bathroom, as you puked when you were sick. patting your back and holding your hair.
the one that you would often bathe skin to skin with. all your insecurities on show for him.
the man that jumped from excitement seeing the positive on your pregnancy test. screaming about how he was gonna be a dad.
oh how you loved him.
·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·
-idk just thinking about himmm, PLEASEEE DO SOME ASKS IN MY INBOX I WILL LITERALLY WRITE ANYTHINGGF
if you liked this… read this!!!
#katsuki bakugo mha#bakugo fluff#bnha bakugo katsuki#bakugo katuski#mha bakugou#katsuki bakugo x reader#bakugou x reader#bnha bakugou#bakudeku#bakugou katsuki#bakugo x deku#bakugou x you#bakugou x y/n#mha fanfiction#mha headcanons#mha smut#mha kirishima#mha fanart#mha#mha x reader#mha x you#anime#haikyu x reader#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#manga#haikyu fluff#haikyu manga#haikyuu smau#daichi sawamura x reader
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You wake up the TWST boys at 3am bc your hungry
A/N: Lmao, I haven't posted in mad long. I really miss posting for you guys!! While my inbox if flooded nothing rlly inspired me(no offense). I;ve been busy w/school and writing(smth non-twst & non-fanfic related) so I really didn’t have the time or motivation to write. Anyway I’m probs annoying w/ the rambling so lemme get to what y’all voted on.
Parings: NRC boys x reader(romantic/ no Ortho)
Is wide awake and ready to get smth to eat w/ you. Was either already up or was sleeping and js happened to be super energized when you woke him. You guys are going to the nearest corner store/deli/gas station or fast food place.
Kalim Al Asim, Lilia Vanrouge, Floyd Leech(good mood), Rook Hunt, Malleus Draconia, Jade Leech
Lectures you. He loves you - he really does - but it is 3am!! He and you need your full 8 hours of rest, so no you guys are not going out to get food. Now just maybe, maybe, you can convince them to go with you but you better be hella persuasive!! Gl my darling
Vil Schoenheit, Riddle Rosehearts, Sebek Zigvolt, Jamil Viper
Is Disoriented. You have randomly woken him up at 3am and he is so sleepy(it’s kinda attractive), his voice raspy eyes droopy. He’s doing his best to stay awake the entire time. But he does go to get food w/ you!! He may be half asleep but it’s kinda good bc he is clingy and adorable.
Ruggie Bucchi, Cater Diamond, Deuce Spade, Jack Howl, Epel Felmier, Trey Clover, Azul Ashengrotto, Silver
Says No. He is tired and doesn’t want to get up and leave his comfy bed to get food when the sun isn’t even awake. Urges you to go back to sleep with him BUT if your persistent enough he will begrudgingly go with you, he will have an attitude abt it tho!
Leona Kingscholar, Ace Trappola, Floyd Leech(bad mood), Jamil Viper
Was Already awake, but refuses to leave his room. He improves and you guys js order in.
Idia Shourd
A/N: now that I am back to writing on here pls drop by my inbox, it’s always open to suggestions, as I’ve said I miss writing. I will try to post within the next week or two so lmk wht you wanna see in my content, Have a great day mls!!
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TWST Masterlist
Grand Masterlist
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland x reader#twst x reader#fluff#riddle rosehearts x reader#cater diamond x reader#leona kingscholar x reader#trey clover x reader#ace trappola x reader#deuce spade x reader#ruggie bucchi x reader#jack howl x reader#azul ashengrotto x reader#jade leech x reader#floyd leech x reader#kalim al asim x reader#jamil viper x reader#vil schoenheit x reader#rook hunt x reader#epel felmier x reader#idia shroud x reader#malleus draconia x reader#lilia vanrouge x reader#silver x reader#sebek zigvolt x reader
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CHAPTER ONE: BUY-IN
pairings: paige x oc
contains: pining, angst
word count: 2,575
a/n: okay, one chapter in. let me know what you guys think, my inbox is open. also let me know what you might like to see, the outline isn't set in stone. school has started so it might be a bit before the next chapter, but it's coming. enjoy!
My palms sweat as I dial the familiar number, one I’d memorized by heart. It’d been far too long since I’d called her, and I don’t really have a reason, so the bullshit ‘I’ve been busy’ excuse will just have to do.
=======================
JUNE 2023
“Hello?”
I clear my throat in an attempt to swallow the lump that magically appeared. “H-Hey, Azzi, uh-it’s CJ.”
“Who?” My heart dropped to my shoes as my brain scrambled to pick up the pieces of one word.
“I-uh..”
Azzi chuckles. “I’m just messing with you. What’d you need?” I let out a breath as I rub my head.
“Oh my god, I actually hate you, holy shit.” I laugh.
“Apparently, since it’s been, what, like three months since we’ve talked.” I could practically hear the eye roll.
It’s really not fair for me to ignore Azzi because, really, she hadn’t done anything but be my best friend.
Our best friend.
And maybe that our was the problem. Maybe that combination, the unity of the word, and everything behind it was a mistake. Maybe, letting her etch herself into the scrolls of my heart, so much so that the ink bled together. Maybe the missed cue of when mine became hers, and hers became ours, was poor oversight.
Maybe letting Azzi become collateral damage was where me and her went wrong.
I laugh it off, ignoring the pang it sends to my chest.
“Yeah, well, I have to mentally prepare myself to lose brain cells. Can’t let it fuck up my game.” I respond, earning a laugh from the brown-haired girl. There’s nothing like the nostalgia a sound can bring you. The memories and feelings, all hidden behind a single noise.
After she gathers herself, she sighs. “So what’s up?”
And suddenly, I remember why I’d called.
“Yeah, uh, there’s something I kinda wanted to talk to you about, before you hear it somewhere else..” I say, picking at my earlobe nervously.
“Ooookay… Is everything okay..?” her voice relaying softer through the phone.
I nod. “Yeah, it’s nothing bad. Or, at least, I don’t think..” I fall silent for a moment. This couldn’t be as bad as I’m making it seem, right? Right?
“Either way, I’d just rather talk about it in person.”
Azzi hums. “Yeah, yeah, that’s fine. Where do you want to meet?” I consider my options. I’m only in Minnesota to visit my family for about a week, and it’d take another day to get to Virginia… I would be back in time to move into my dorm. It’s inconvenient but doable.
“I could drive up to you in like a week, I’ll just meet you at your house.” I mutter thoughtfully.
“Wait, are you in Texas or Minnesota?”
“I’m about an hour out from Minny.” I answer, slightly confused.
“Oh, I’m here with Paige and the boys. We’re actually headed to the fair soon. You could meet up with us if you wanted.”
“Shit…uh, I didn’t think about them...” I mumble.
That’s a lie. Truthfully, every time I think of home, memories of the blonde flood my mind instantly. But then I’m reminded of what she’d done. How she ripped herself out of my chest like velcro, instead of carefully detangling herself, ridding herself off all strings attached. All for someone else.
For someone who used to be mine.
“Hello..? You still there?”
I shake my head to clear my thoughts. “Yeah, yeah, sorry. Uh, th-yeah, that’s fine.” I sigh, quickly trying to recover.
Azzi sighs through the phone. “Look, I still don’t know what happened between you two, so if you don’t want to come-” she amends.
“No! No, okay, sorry. I- just gotta change my clothes…” I say, biting my lip as I lie through my teeth. “I’ll just meet you guys there?”
I could practically hear Azzi smile. “That sounds good, just call me when you get there.”
After we say our goodbyes, I hang up. I groan as I throw my head back.
I’m always up to a challenge, but the thought of going and having to function around her, after all she’s said and done; after she’s ruined us before there even was an us, that might be more difficult than I’d thought.
It’s not like I have a choice, though. I’m gonna have to learn how to be around her every day, especially when the season starts.
_________
“Drew, bro, if you spray me with that shit one more time, I swear to god, I will beat your ass.” I glared at him as he hid behind Jose, who put his hands up in surrender. I should not have bought him that water gun.
I rolled my eyes as I turned back to Azzi, who kept looking around, then back at her phone, repeating the process. I kicked her in her shin. “Ow! Paige, what the fuck?” Azzi complains, rubbing her leg. “Who are you looking for?” I say, glancing around.
She looks back down at her phone. “Nobody. Just people watching.” I scoff. “Bullshit, are we being spied on, or what?” She shakes her head, looking up around once more. “Okay, bro, what’s going on? Who’s ass do I have to beat?”
Azzi rolls her eyes at me. “You couldn’t beat Ohio, let alone anyone else.”
I sit back in shock, putting my hand on my heart as I feign offense. “Okay, their defense was so unexpected. You can’t even put that on me.” She shrugged, looking back at her phone and standing up. “Where-”
“Bathroom.” she mutters. I watch as she practically sprints away. If only she did that shit in practice. I shake my head.
I open my phone and begin mindlessly scrolling through instagram, ignoring the thousands of times I’ve been tagged in pictures that I’d taken with fans today. Suddenly, I freeze.
It’s a post by the official UConn women’s basketball team. It’s a picture of CJ in her Texas jersey, the number 43 on the front. Her hair is in her signature bun, hair slicked back carefully, as she drives towards the basket. The caption reads “Welcome CJ West!”
What the fuck?
I’m in such a state of shock that when Azzi comes back, I don’t notice the figure next to her. I glance up at her, then back at my phone. “Yo, Azzi, have you seen this?” I look up at her again, and this time, I let my eyes flick to the person next to her.
CJ.
Forgetting what I’d just seen, my jaw drops as I take her in. She’s just as beautiful, if not more, as she was the last time I’d seen her. She’s wearing a basic casual outfit; a plain white crop top, paired with blue jeans, and gold jewelry that always makes her hazel eyes seem brighter. Or maybe that’s just how they look naturally.
“Oh, shit.” I whisper, clearly in awe. She rolls her eyes.
Fuck.
“Hello to you, too, Paige.” Double fuck.
That fucking voice.
I clear my throat, trying to recover. “Hey, CJ.” I breathe. The lighthearted air is swallowed by suffocating tension as I make eye contact with a stranger.
“Oooookay…” Azzi says, clearing her throat. “This is about as awkward as I’d thought it’s be…” she mutters. CJ looks at her. “I told you.”
I look between them. “What’s going on?”
Azzi looked at CJ expectantly, gesturing to her to speak. CJ rolled her eyes and huffed. “I-uh, I have news.” CJ glanced between Azzi and I. She cleared her throat as she picked at her earlobe, a habit she’d picked up when she was younger. I’d always hold her hand to stop her, and I want to do that more than anything right now. I think I’ve lost that right, though.
“I’m transferring to UConn.”
My eyes flick to Azzi’s who’s jaw drops. “Really? How-Why?”
CJ shrugs, trying feign carelessness. “Better environment, Texas heat ain’ my thing.” To the normal eye, CJ’s behavior could be seen as normal. But to me? I see the way her eyelids flutter, the hesitation behind her pretty lips, and the way her eyebrows raise just slightly. She’s a good liar.
Just not good enough.
I don’t say anything, though, not when she gets dragged away by Drew and Jose, not when Drew practically begs her to stay and hang out with us, and certainly not when she’s sat in front of me on the ride Jon chooses. I don’t say anything when the boys get swept away, and it’s just the three of us, like it always used to be.
It’s only when Azzi goes to the bathroom, leaving us alone for the first time in years that I say anything. “Try not to kill each other, please.” She orders as she scurries to the restroom.
It’s silent for a moment, and I can almost see the relief on her face when she thinks I’ll hold my tongue.
Unfortunately, I’m nobody’s peace.
“How long are you here for?” I ask, stuffing my hands into my black cargo pants. She looks up at me. “Uh-just for the week, gotta move outta my dorm, and it’s a long drive, so.”
I raise my eyebrows. “You driving on your own?”
CJ nods. “Yeah, I’ll just sleep in my car or something.” I shake my head. “No fucking way, bro, you serious? That’s like a twenty hour drive.”
She crosses her arms. “So? That’s how I got here.”
“Yeah, well, you’re not goin’ on your own.” I say. Truthfully, I knew she’d be fine on her own, but something about her driving back to Texas, just to go back to Connecticut, doesn’t sit well with me. I’m only concerned for her safety. Or at least that’s what I decide to tell myself.
She scoffs. “What, you’re gonna come with me?”
“I could, if that’s what you want.”
“That’s the last thing I want.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“It’s not. Didn’t even wanna see you today.”
I turned to her. “Seriously, dude?” She looks at me. “Yes, seriously.”
I roll my eyes. I know I hurt her. I know I fucked up. But that was three years ago. We were kids. I was eighteen. I can legally drink now. It’s been three years. How can someone be upset for that long? “You gotta get over it one day.” I say before thinking about it.
I regret it when I see a flash of hurt on her face. “Get over it? That’s easy for you to say, Paige.” she spits out harshly.
Ouch.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” I say, even though I know exactly what she meant. “Exactly what it sounds like. You get over shit quickly.” She shrugs. Her nonchalant tone pisses me off more than the words. I take a step towards her. “I didn’t ‘get over�� anything. There was nothing to ‘get over’. You were just jealous-”
“Jealous?” She interrupts incredulously. “Paige, you stuck your tongue down her throat!”
“And that pissed you off. Hence, jealousy.” I shrug.
“You were my best friend! It’s not fucking jealousy, it’s betrayal!” She practically yells, taking a step closer, our toes almost touching.
“I didn’t betray anybody! I was drunk! She was drunk! And I apologized afterward!” I say, trying to ignore the way her scent invades my senses.
She laughs dryly, taking a step back. “Right, you’re right. Yeah, an apology fixes it all.” I blink. “Really?”
CJ stares at me. “You’re a fucking idiot.” she says, and the only emotion I can pick up is anger. “I know.” I whisper.
Just then Azzi comes out of the bathroom, looking between us. “Everything okay?”
“Yep.” We say at the same time, and Azzi raises her eyebrows. “Aaaalrighty then… Can we find the boys, I’m ready to go.”
I nod and begin to walk behind Azzi, but I don’t miss the way CJ looks at me. I’m no expert, but if I know one thing, it’s the gaze of someone who’s been heartbroken.
I know because I’ve seen it. I’ve seen it every time I’ve looked in the mirror for the past three years.
__________
“There’s no way you’re driving to Texas by yourself.” Azzi gapes from the corner seat of the booth. Jose convinced Paige to drive us to some random diner. She’s so easy.
I roll my eyes as I take a sip of my sprite. “Bro, you sound like Paige.” I grumble.
“The fact that I’m agreeing with her should tell you how fucking stupid you sound.” she said. I look at her in shock as Paige throws her head back, cackling.
Fuck.
That stupid fucking laugh paired with that stupid fucking smile makes it so fucking hard to be mad at her. Maybe I should let it go. It has been three years…
No.
Instead of entertaining the thoughts, I opt for kicking her shin instead. “What do you think that says about you, dumbass.” She immediately shuts up, and I roll my eyes as Jon almost spits out his Dr. Pepper.
“I’ll have you know I was AP player of the year.” She defends, eyebrows furrowed. I raise my eyebrows unimpressed. “Still holding onto that, huh?”
Azzi laughs, and Paige shoots her a look. “Can we get back on task, please?” That seems to direct all the attention back to me. “Driving to Texas? All on your own?” Paige says.
“Yes. Did y’all forget how I got here? I didn’t fucking speedwalk.”
“Yeah, but you’re gonna go to Texas, spend, what, two full days staying up late and packing up three years of your life, and then driving the… twenty-nine, thirty, hour trip to Connecticut?” Azzi reasons.
I blink. “Well, when you put it like that..” I mutter.
Paige rolls her eyes. “Dude, just let us come with you. We can drive you there, so your car isn’t sitting in the middle of nowhere-”
“Isn’t your car in Storrs?”
“And we can switch drivers. Stay at a hotel halfway there, and then drive the rest of the way the day after.” She finishes, ignoring my comment. Before I can answer, the waiter comes with our food.
As he sets the plates down, I look at Paige, just taking her in. She’s wearing a plain black hoodie, with some red, white, and blue shorts on. It’s not much, but she could be wearing a trashbag and still be the hottest motherfucker around. It’s almost disgusting how effortlessly gorgeous she is.
I wouldn’t mind having someone to help me get to Connecticut. It’s a long drive, and it should be an easy yes. The truth is, when she looks like that, and acts like this, and talks the way she does… I don’t know how I’m going to get through the season, let alone a road trip.
I watch her lips as she says a thank you to the waiter, quickly averting my eyes when she looks at me. When the waiter leaves, I look back up and roll my eyes at her poor attempt to hide her smirk. As much as I wanted to wipe the smirk off her face, driving alone to Texas sounded dreadful. Plus, Paige has an okay music taste. Might not be that bad.
“Fine. You guys can come with me to Texas.”
Azzi smiles, clearly satisfied. Paige grins like a madman, clapping her hands. “This is going to be fun.”
I roll my eyes for the upteenth time tonight.
What the fuck did I just get myself into?
=======================
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Hi can you write an Anthony x wife reader wedding night
Every Breath You Take (Anthony Bridgerton x Fem! Reader)
Author's note: Hello, hun. Of course I can. So I wasn't to sure how to write this one but I have figured it out. Now I have so many things in my drafts from my inbox for recent requests and I wanted to act on it immediately so everything is jumbled in my drafts.
Summary: It's really happening believe it or not. You are finally married to Anthony Bridgerton, the Viscount. But no one had prepared you for the martial act. So Anthony guides you through it.
Warning(s):NSFW, 18+, oral, straight sex, first times, experienced husband, praise, pet names, more to be added
The MAIN Masterlist
The Bridgerton Masterlist
The room was silent, save for the occasional crackle of the fireplace and the faint rustling of fabric as you stood at the edge of the bed, your hands trembling slightly. You were his now, Anthony Bridgerton’s wife. The reality of it was settling in, weighty yet thrilling, but no one had prepared you for this moment—the wedding night.
Anthony stood across from you, already loosening his cravat, his dark eyes never leaving yours. Despite the growing tension in the air, his expression was calm, warm. You felt a sense of security just from his gaze.
"Are you nervous, my love?" His voice was soft, deeper than usual, filled with tenderness as he stepped closer, his large hands cradling your face.
You nodded, the butterflies in your stomach fluttering wildly. “A little…” you confessed, feeling your cheeks heat up at the admission.
His thumb brushed your bottom lip, his touch gentle, reassuring. “I would never rush you into something you’re not ready for,” he said, his voice steady, though there was a hunger in his eyes that made your breath hitch. "We will take this at your pace."
His words were like a balm to your frayed nerves. You trusted him with everything, and now, as your husband, you knew he would guide you through this with the same care he had shown in everything else.
Slowly, Anthony stepped back, allowing you a moment to breathe, to gather your courage. The intimacy of the situation was overwhelming, yet the anticipation of what was to come kept your pulse racing. His gaze remained on you as he began to undress with practiced ease, each movement deliberate, his confidence in contrast to the shy eagerness you felt bubbling up within.
When his shirt fell away, revealing the hard planes of his chest, you swallowed hard, your eyes drawn to every inch of his toned form. He smiled then, as if sensing your growing desire.
"Come here," he whispered, his voice deeper now, a hint of command threading through it.
You stepped toward him, your breath shaky. Anthony's hands gently guided yours to the buttons of your gown. He watched your reaction carefully as your fingers fumbled with the fabric, heat flooding your face as you grew more aware of how vulnerable you were becoming under his gaze.
"Take your time," he murmured, leaning down to brush his lips against your forehead. "There is no rush tonight."
His hands joined yours, skillfully helping you out of the layers of your wedding dress, the intimacy growing with each passing second. The material pooled at your feet, leaving you in nothing but your underclothes. Your heart pounded against your ribs, the closeness of him igniting a warmth in you that you'd never experienced before.
Anthony’s hands slid down to your waist, his lips grazing your temple. "You're perfect," he whispered, his breath hot against your skin. The way he spoke to you, the soft praise, made your body tingle.
His lips found yours in a slow, sensual kiss that deepened with every passing moment. You felt his fingers trace the outline of your jaw, down your neck, and along the delicate curve of your shoulder. You gasped softly into the kiss, overwhelmed by the sensation of his touch. Every part of you was being carefully, reverently explored, his experienced hands guiding your inexperienced body with tender precision.
"Relax, my love," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the sensitive spot just below your ear, sending shivers down your spine. "Let me take care of you."
You melted into him, your anxieties slowly ebbing away as his hands roamed, caressing and praising you in ways that made your heart race. He continued to reassure you with every touch, every whispered word, until you felt comfortable in his arms, trusting him fully to lead you through the night’s intimate act.
Anthony’s lips traveled slowly along your collarbone, his touch igniting a fire beneath your skin. You couldn’t help but let out a soft sigh, your hands gripping the fabric of his trousers as you steadied yourself against the mounting desire swirling in your belly. He paused, drawing back slightly to look into your eyes, his gaze filled with a quiet intensity that made your breath catch.
“Is this alright?” His voice was barely above a whisper, rough with desire yet tinged with concern. You nodded, biting your lip nervously, but there was no mistaking the excitement brewing inside you.
“Good,” he murmured, and then his lips were on yours again, firmer this time, with a kind of passion that sent shivers down your spine. His hands found the laces of your undergarments, and he worked with such practiced ease that it made your pulse quicken.
He pulled back for a moment, his eyes scanning over you, now bare before him. His gaze was heavy, filled with admiration. “You are… breathtaking,” he said, the praise rolling off his tongue in a way that made you feel warm all over. His fingertips traced down your arms, gentle and loving, as if he were memorizing every curve of your body.
Before you could say anything, he cupped your face again, kissing you deeply, slowly. His tongue brushed against yours, coaxing soft whimpers from your lips. You felt heat pooling low in your belly, unfamiliar but intoxicating. His body was pressed against yours now, the heat from his skin setting your senses alight.
“Let me know if anything feels uncomfortable,” he murmured, his forehead resting against yours. You could feel the strong, steady beat of his heart, grounding you in the moment.
With every move, Anthony took his time, ensuring you felt safe, adored. He guided you to the bed, his hands never leaving your body, as if afraid to lose contact with you for even a second. You lay back, your heart racing as he hovered over you, his lips finding yours again before trailing down to your throat, his breath warm against your skin.
“I’ll be gentle,” he promised, his voice thick with desire, but you could hear the restraint in it, the control he maintained despite the longing in his eyes.
His hands slid down, caressing your thighs with featherlight touches that left you trembling beneath him. The anticipation built slowly, the tension between you both growing with every moment. He kissed along your stomach, down your hips, his touch making you gasp softly.
You had never felt anything like this before—the mix of vulnerability, excitement, and overwhelming pleasure that was starting to bloom within you.
Anthony’s gaze flickered back to your face, his thumb brushing over your bottom lip as he positioned himself between your legs. “If at any point you need me to stop…” he started, but you cut him off with a shaky breath, your body aching for him in ways you could barely describe.
“I trust you,” you whispered, your voice unsteady but certain.
His smile was tender, and without another word, he kissed you again, the intensity of it sparking a fresh wave of heat through your veins. His hands moved lower, exploring every inch of you with care, his touch experienced but never rushing.
As he finally began to guide you through the unfamiliar act, his movements were slow, deliberate, and you felt nothing but the warmth of his body, the safety of his embrace. The initial sensation was foreign, but Anthony's soothing words calmed the nerves that threatened to bubble up.
“Just breathe, love,” he whispered against your ear, his lips brushing over the shell of it. His hands were everywhere, steadying you, comforting you, his praises a soft murmur against your skin. “You’re doing so well…”
The slow burn of pleasure began to unfurl within you, growing with every motion, every whisper of praise from his lips. He never rushed, never pushed, allowing you to adjust, to enjoy the sensation of being with him, of becoming one in the most intimate way.
His own breath hitched as he moved, clearly affected by the closeness, by you. His hands gripped your hips firmly but gently, his forehead resting against yours, and for a moment, it was as if the world had narrowed down to just the two of you—your shared breath, your racing hearts, and the feeling of him inside you, guiding you through every step.
When your body finally surrendered to the waves of pleasure, Anthony followed close behind, his body tensing as he whispered your name like a prayer. You felt him shudder against you, his own release following yours, the weight of his body pressing down on you in the most comforting way.
For a few moments, the room was silent, the only sound your heavy breathing and the crackle of the fire. Anthony shifted, rolling onto his side and pulling you into his arms, his lips pressing lazy kisses against your temple as you curled into him, your body still trembling from the intensity of it all.
“You were perfect,” he whispered, brushing a strand of hair away from your face. His fingers traced slow patterns along your back, soothing you as your breathing began to steady.
You smiled sleepily against his chest, your heart still racing from everything that had just transpired. “Thank you,” you murmured softly, your voice barely audible in the quiet of the room.
Anthony kissed the top of your head, his arms tightening around you protectively. “I’ll take care of you, always,” he promised, his voice filled with nothing but love and devotion.
And in that moment, as you drifted off to sleep in his embrace, you knew it to be true.
The morning light peeked through the curtains, casting a soft golden glow across the room. You stirred slightly, still cocooned in Anthony’s arms, your body wrapped in the warmth of his embrace. For a moment, you weren’t sure if last night had been a dream, a blissful haze of whispered words and tender touches, but the steady rhythm of his breathing, the solid feel of him beside you, reassured you it was all real.
Your eyes fluttered open, and the first thing you noticed was how peaceful he looked, his usually sharp features softened in sleep. It was rare to see Anthony this relaxed, and the sight of him like this made your heart swell. For a brief moment, you simply watched him, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the way his dark hair fell across his forehead. He was beautiful, and the realization hit you like a soft wave—he was yours now.
Suddenly, as if sensing you were awake, Anthony stirred. His arms tightened around you protectively, pulling you closer into his warmth. His eyes opened slowly, meeting yours with a soft smile that sent a warm flutter through your chest.
“Good morning,” he murmured, his voice still husky from sleep. He leaned down to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there as if savoring the quiet intimacy of the moment.
“Good morning,” you replied, your voice barely above a whisper, your heart still racing from the memories of last night. The blush crept up your cheeks as you shifted slightly under the sheets, feeling the soreness in your body—a reminder of the passion you had shared.
Anthony must have noticed your slight discomfort because his expression softened further, his hand reaching up to cup your cheek. “How are you feeling?” he asked quietly, his thumb brushing your skin in gentle circles.
You smiled, your heart warming at the concern in his eyes. “A little sore,” you admitted with a shy laugh, “but…I’m okay.”
He chuckled softly, his hand moving to stroke your hair, the tenderness in his touch making you feel completely safe. “I’ll draw you a bath,” he said, already beginning to shift, his fingers tracing down your arm as he prepared to get up. “You should rest.”
Before he could move away, you caught his hand, holding him there for a moment longer. “Stay,” you whispered, your voice filled with more confidence than before. “Please?”
Anthony paused, his dark eyes locking onto yours with a mix of surprise and adoration. He settled back into bed, pulling you close again, his lips brushing against your forehead. “As you wish,” he murmured, holding you tighter.
The quiet comfort of the morning wrapped around you both like a warm blanket. For a while, you simply lay there, your head resting on his chest, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Every now and then, Anthony’s hand would drift lazily over your back, his touch soothing, grounding. There was no rush, no urgency—just the two of you, wrapped in the aftermath of your shared intimacy.
Eventually, though, Anthony shifted slightly, his lips pressing against the crown of your head. “I want you to know,” he began, his voice low and sincere, “that last night wasn’t just about the wedding. It was about us. You mean more to me than just a duty or obligation.”
You looked up at him, your heart swelling at the honesty in his voice. His expression was earnest, his gaze steady as he continued, “I’m in this, fully. For us. For you.” His hand found yours, intertwining your fingers together. “I need you to know that.”
The vulnerability in his words made your chest tighten with emotion. You squeezed his hand gently, your own heart swelling with gratitude and love. “I know, Anthony,” you whispered, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “I feel the same.”
He smiled against your lips, the tension in his body easing as if your words had relieved some burden he’d been carrying. “Good,” he whispered, brushing his nose against yours in a playful, tender gesture. “Because I plan to spoil you endlessly, my Viscountess.”
You laughed softly at his words, feeling the lightness of the moment wrap around you both. “Is that so?” you teased, leaning back slightly to meet his gaze.
“Oh, absolutely,” he replied with a grin, his fingers tracing down your arm in lazy patterns. “Starting with breakfast in bed, baths drawn just for you, and all the attention you could ever want. I’ll make sure you never lift a finger again.”
You smiled at his playful tone, though deep down, you knew there was truth in his words. Anthony would take care of you, not just as a husband fulfilling his vows, but as someone who truly adored you. The way he looked at you, the way he spoke to you, made it clear—his love for you was genuine, and he would do anything to make you happy.
As the morning sun continued to filter through the curtains, you lay there with him, wrapped in the warmth of his embrace. And though the world outside was waiting, you knew that here, in this moment, nothing else mattered but the two of you.
Later, Anthony reluctantly left the bed to draw your bath as promised. The water was warm and soothing as you sank into it, your body easing into the relaxation you hadn’t realized you needed. Anthony, ever the attentive husband, stayed close by, occasionally checking on you, his touch lingering on your shoulders as he massaged away the soreness from the night before.
As you soaked in the tub, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, thinking about how far you had come. Last night had been a milestone in your relationship with Anthony, but it was just the beginning. You knew there would be challenges ahead, but with him by your side, you were ready to face anything.
When you finally stepped out of the bath, wrapped in a soft towel, Anthony was waiting for you, his eyes lighting up the moment he saw you. He crossed the room in a few long strides, his hands reaching for you once again, his touch gentle yet possessive.
“You are a vision,” he murmured, his lips brushing against your temple as he pulled you close. “I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.”
You laughed softly, feeling a familiar warmth spread through your chest. “I could say the same.”
Anthony smiled, his hands resting on your waist as he leaned in to kiss you. “Then let’s never stop.”
Anthony’s lips ghosted over your forehead once again, his presence grounding you as he held you close. “We don’t have to rush into anything today,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “Let’s take this time for us.”
The idea of staying in bed all day with Anthony was tempting. You had never felt so at ease, cocooned in the safety of his arms, but you both knew the responsibilities waiting outside those bedroom walls. Being married to the Viscount meant facing the social expectations, the family duties, the world that never stopped turning.
You sighed softly, your head resting on his bare chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. “As much as I’d love to stay here forever, we both know that’s impossible,” you said, your voice filled with the bittersweet reality of your new life together.
Anthony chuckled, his fingers running lazily through your hair. “True. But I can indulge in my selfishness a little longer, can’t I?” His tone was playful, but the way he looked at you was filled with longing, as though he was memorizing every detail of this moment.
You smiled, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “I suppose you can,” you teased softly, your fingers tracing light patterns along his arm. “But we really should get up soon. Your family will be expecting us.”
The mention of his family stirred something in Anthony, his eyes flickering with a brief shadow before he masked it with a soft smile. “Yes,” he said quietly, his tone shifting to something more serious. “My family.”
You could feel the weight of his thoughts, the unspoken burdens that came with being the head of the Bridgerton household. Anthony carried so much on his shoulders, more than anyone realized. And now, as his wife, those responsibilities were something you would share with him.
“Anthony,” you began softly, lifting a hand to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing over the slight stubble on his jaw. “You don’t have to bear everything alone anymore. I’m here now. We’ll face it together.”
For a moment, he was silent, his gaze searching yours as though trying to find reassurance in your words. And then, with a deep breath, he nodded, his hand reaching up to cover yours. “I know,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just…I’ve spent so long thinking I had to do everything myself. It’s hard to let go of that.”
Your heart ached at the vulnerability in his words, but you understood. Anthony had always been the protector, the one who made sure everyone was taken care of. But who took care of him?
“I won’t let you do it alone,” you promised, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. “We’re in this together. Always.”
Anthony’s grip on you tightened slightly, his lips brushing over yours in a tender, lingering kiss that spoke volumes of his gratitude. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet of the morning.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion.
“You deserve more than you realize,” you replied firmly, your fingers threading through his hair. “And I’m going to prove it to you every single day.”
The sincerity in your voice seemed to strike something deep within him, and for the first time, you saw the walls around Anthony’s heart begin to crumble. The guarded, stoic man who had always put others first was slowly allowing himself to let you in, to trust you with the pieces of himself he kept hidden from the world.
“God, I love you,” he whispered, his lips finding yours again, this time with more urgency, as though he needed to express everything he couldn’t put into words.
The kiss deepened, filled with the kind of passion that left you breathless, your fingers clutching at his shoulders as he pulled you closer. There was no rush, no desperation—just the two of you, tangled together in a moment of pure connection.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads pressed together as you smiled at each other. Anthony’s hand cradled the back of your head, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he whispered, “You’re everything to me.”
You were about to reply when a knock on the door interrupted the intimate moment. Both of you froze, your hearts racing as you exchanged a quick glance. The outside world had come knocking, quite literally, reminding you that you couldn’t hide away forever.
Anthony sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before sitting up, running a hand through his tousled hair. “I suppose that’s our cue,” he muttered, his tone tinged with reluctant resignation.
You smiled softly, watching as he moved to the edge of the bed. “It was nice while it lasted.”
Anthony turned back to you, his expression softening as he reached out to take your hand. “It doesn’t have to end,” he said quietly, pulling you closer. “We’ll have more moments like this. I promise.”
With that, he kissed your hand and stood up, reaching for his robe before heading to the door. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for whatever awaited outside, knowing that your life with Anthony would be a balance of intimate moments and societal obligations.
As Anthony opened the door, you could hear the familiar voice of one of the household staff, informing him that breakfast was ready and that his mother was asking for the both of you. Anthony thanked them and closed the door, turning back to you with an apologetic smile.
“Well, it seems we’re expected,” he said with a sigh, but there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
You chuckled, slipping out of bed and reaching for your own robe. “Then let’s not keep them waiting.”
Anthony crossed the room in two strides, wrapping his arms around you from behind and pulling you against his chest. “We’ll have our time,” he murmured in your ear, his lips brushing against your neck.
Your heart fluttered at the feel of him, your smile widening as you leaned into his embrace. “I know,” you whispered, your fingers resting over his.
Together, you left the sanctuary of your room, ready to face the world as Viscount and Viscountess Bridgerton. Whatever challenges lay ahead, you knew that with Anthony by your side, you could face anything. The love you shared was a foundation stronger than any title or duty, and you would carry that with you as you stepped into your new life together.
Anthony’s lips ghosted over your forehead once again, his presence grounding you as he held you close. “We don’t have to rush into anything today,” he murmured, his breath warm against your skin. “Let’s take this time for us.”
The idea of staying in bed all day with Anthony was tempting. You had never felt so at ease, cocooned in the safety of his arms, but you both knew the responsibilities waiting outside those bedroom walls. Being married to the Viscount meant facing the social expectations, the family duties, the world that never stopped turning.
You sighed softly, your head resting on his bare chest, listening to the rhythmic beat of his heart. “As much as I’d love to stay here forever, we both know that’s impossible,” you said, your voice filled with the bittersweet reality of your new life together.
Anthony chuckled, his fingers running lazily through your hair. “True. But I can indulge in my selfishness a little longer, can’t I?” His tone was playful, but the way he looked at you was filled with longing, as though he was memorizing every detail of this moment.
You smiled, tilting your head up to meet his gaze. “I suppose you can,” you teased softly, your fingers tracing light patterns along his arm. “But we really should get up soon. Your family will be expecting us.”
The mention of his family stirred something in Anthony, his eyes flickering with a brief shadow before he masked it with a soft smile. “Yes,” he said quietly, his tone shifting to something more serious. “My family.”
You could feel the weight of his thoughts, the unspoken burdens that came with being the head of the Bridgerton household. Anthony carried so much on his shoulders, more than anyone realized. And now, as his wife, those responsibilities were something you would share with him.
“Anthony,” you began softly, lifting a hand to cup his cheek, your thumb brushing over the slight stubble on his jaw. “You don’t have to bear everything alone anymore. I’m here now. We’ll face it together.”
For a moment, he was silent, his gaze searching yours as though trying to find reassurance in your words. And then, with a deep breath, he nodded, his hand reaching up to cover yours. “I know,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “I just…I’ve spent so long thinking I had to do everything myself. It’s hard to let go of that.”
Your heart ached at the vulnerability in his words, but you understood. Anthony had always been the protector, the one who made sure everyone was taken care of. But who took care of him?
“I won’t let you do it alone,” you promised, leaning in to press a soft kiss to his lips. “We’re in this together. Always.”
Anthony’s grip on you tightened slightly, his lips brushing over yours in a tender, lingering kiss that spoke volumes of his gratitude. When he pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet of the morning.
“I don’t deserve you,” he whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion.
“You deserve more than you realize,” you replied firmly, your fingers threading through his hair. “And I’m going to prove it to you every single day.”
The sincerity in your voice seemed to strike something deep within him, and for the first time, you saw the walls around Anthony’s heart begin to crumble. The guarded, stoic man who had always put others first was slowly allowing himself to let you in, to trust you with the pieces of himself he kept hidden from the world.
“God, I love you,” he whispered, his lips finding yours again, this time with more urgency, as though he needed to express everything he couldn’t put into words.
The kiss deepened, filled with the kind of passion that left you breathless, your fingers clutching at his shoulders as he pulled you closer. There was no rush, no desperation—just the two of you, tangled together in a moment of pure connection.
When you finally broke apart, both of you were breathless, your foreheads pressed together as you smiled at each other. Anthony’s hand cradled the back of your head, his thumb brushing over your cheek as he whispered, “You’re everything to me.”
You were about to reply when a knock on the door interrupted the intimate moment. Both of you froze, your hearts racing as you exchanged a quick glance. The outside world had come knocking, quite literally, reminding you that you couldn’t hide away forever.
Anthony sighed, pressing a quick kiss to your forehead before sitting up, running a hand through his tousled hair. “I suppose that’s our cue,” he muttered, his tone tinged with reluctant resignation.
You smiled softly, watching as he moved to the edge of the bed. “It was nice while it lasted.”
Anthony turned back to you, his expression softening as he reached out to take your hand. “It doesn’t have to end,” he said quietly, pulling you closer. “We’ll have more moments like this. I promise.”
With that, he kissed your hand and stood up, reaching for his robe before heading to the door. You took a deep breath, preparing yourself for whatever awaited outside, knowing that your life with Anthony would be a balance of intimate moments and societal obligations.
As Anthony opened the door, you could hear the familiar voice of one of the household staff, informing him that breakfast was ready and that his mother was asking for the both of you. Anthony thanked them and closed the door, turning back to you with an apologetic smile.
“Well, it seems we’re expected,” he said with a sigh, but there was a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
You chuckled, slipping out of bed and reaching for your own robe. “Then let’s not keep them waiting.”
Anthony crossed the room in two strides, wrapping his arms around you from behind and pulling you against his chest. “We’ll have our time,” he murmured in your ear, his lips brushing against your neck.
Your heart fluttered at the feel of him, your smile widening as you leaned into his embrace. “I know,” you whispered, your fingers resting over his.
Together, you left the sanctuary of your room, ready to face the world as Viscount and Viscountess Bridgerton. Whatever challenges lay ahead, you knew that with Anthony by your side, you could face anything. The love you shared was a foundation stronger than any title or duty, and you would carry that with you as you stepped into your new life together.
The grand hallways of Bridgerton House stretched out before you as you and Anthony descended the stairs, arm in arm. Despite the intimacy of the morning, there was an undeniable shift now that you were entering the public eye. The world outside of your shared space awaited—one filled with expectations, family obligations, and societal pressures.
You cast a sideways glance at Anthony, noting the subtle tension in his jawline, the way his grip on your hand tightened slightly as you neared the main dining room. It was a reminder that, despite the intimacy you shared, he was still the Viscount, and his duty to his family and society weighed heavily on him.
As you both entered the dining room, you were greeted by the familiar sight of Lady Violet Bridgerton seated at the head of the table, her ever-poised demeanor firmly in place. Next to her sat Benedict, his usual mischievous smirk greeting you both as he raised an eyebrow at your arrival. Colin, already mid-conversation with Eloise, paused long enough to give Anthony a teasing look, while Daphne’s warm smile greeted you.
“Good morning, Viscountess,” Benedict quipped as he took a long sip of his tea, eyes dancing with amusement. “I trust the wedding night was… eventful?”
Anthony shot his brother a sharp look, but it was hard to miss the affectionate undertone behind his frustration. “Not that it’s any of your business, Benedict,” he replied dryly, pulling out a chair for you before taking his seat beside you. “But I’ll remind you to mind your tongue.”
“Come now, Anthony,” Colin interjected, his grin widening. “We’re all family here, aren’t we?”
Lady Violet cleared her throat, sending a pointed look at her sons. “Enough, boys. Let’s not turn this breakfast into a competition of teasing your brother.”
Her firm but gentle tone had its intended effect, and the Bridgerton brothers backed off with only a few chuckles between them. You couldn’t help but smile at the light-hearted banter, appreciating how deeply this family cared for one another despite their differences.
“I must say,” Daphne began, her gaze shifting toward you. “It’s wonderful to have you officially in the family. You’ve always been a part of it in our hearts, but now it’s official.”
Your heart warmed at her words, and you smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Daphne. I couldn’t ask for a better family to marry into.”
Violet’s eyes softened as she regarded the two of you, her hand reaching across the table to gently touch yours. “I couldn’t be prouder of you both. You’ve come so far, and I know you’ll be an excellent Viscountess.”
You felt Anthony’s gaze on you, and when you turned to him, you found his eyes filled with affection, though there was something else there—a quiet reverence. His thumb brushed over your hand in a subtle gesture of support, a silent acknowledgment of how much you both had grown together.
“Thank you, Lady Violet,” you replied softly, your voice carrying the weight of your gratitude.
Violet smiled kindly at you, but before anyone could say more, a maid entered the room and quietly informed Anthony that he was needed in his study for an urgent matter.
Anthony sighed, glancing at you with a look that conveyed his reluctance. “Duty calls,” he said, his voice tinged with resignation.
You nodded in understanding, squeezing his hand briefly. “Go ahead. I’ll be here when you’re done.”
He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead before rising from his seat and excusing himself from the table. The warmth of his lips lingered on your skin even after he had gone.
As Anthony disappeared into the hallway, the lively conversation resumed around the table. You tried to engage in small talk with Daphne and Eloise, but your thoughts kept drifting to Anthony and whatever business was pulling him away from you. The weight of being the Viscountess was already starting to settle on your shoulders, and you realized that there would be many moments like this—moments where Anthony’s responsibilities would take precedence over your personal time together.
Still, you knew that this was part of the life you had chosen, and you were determined to be the support Anthony needed, just as he had promised to be yours. Even if it meant occasionally sacrificing your own desires.
A soft sigh escaped your lips as you turned your attention back to the table, pushing aside the thoughts of Anthony’s absence. You had a family here now, and with them came love, support, and endless conversations to distract you from the more pressing concerns.
But deep down, you couldn’t shake the feeling that things were only going to become more complicated from here.
Later that evening, as the sun began to set and the house quieted down, you found yourself wandering through the estate, your footsteps echoing softly against the polished floors. You had been hoping to spend more time with Anthony throughout the day, but he had been locked in meetings, dealing with matters concerning the Bridgerton estate and his responsibilities as Viscount.
It wasn’t until you reached the study, the soft glow of candlelight spilling out from beneath the door, that you paused. You hesitated for a moment before gently knocking, hoping you weren’t interrupting.
“Come in,” came Anthony’s familiar voice from within.
You slowly opened the door and stepped inside, finding Anthony seated at his desk, a pile of papers spread out before him. He looked up when you entered, a tired smile tugging at the corners of his lips.
“Am I disturbing you?” you asked softly, closing the door behind you.
Anthony shook his head, leaning back in his chair. “Never. I was just finishing up.”
You made your way toward him, taking a seat on the edge of the desk. “You’ve been in here all day.”
“I know,” he sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. “There’s just… so much to manage.”
Reaching out, you placed your hand on his, your fingers curling around his in a gesture of comfort. “You don’t have to do it all at once, you know.”
Anthony looked up at you, his expression softening. “I know. But I don’t want to burden you with all of this.”
“You’re not burdening me,” you replied firmly, squeezing his hand. “We’re a team, Anthony. You don’t have to face any of this alone.”
For a moment, he was silent, his gaze locked with yours. And then, with a soft sigh, he stood from his chair, pulling you into his arms. “What did I do to deserve you?” he murmured against your hair.
You smiled, resting your head against his chest. “You’re a good man, Anthony Bridgerton. And I love you.”
Anthony’s arms tightened around you, his lips pressing a tender kiss to your forehead. “I love you too.”
As you stood there in his embrace, the weight of the day slowly melted away. In this quiet moment, it was just the two of you, and that was all that mattered.
#bridgerton#fanfic#x reader#reader insert#female reader#x female reader#fem reader#x you#x you smut#smut#x y/n smut#Anthony Bridgerton x you#Anthony Bridgerton x y/n#Anthony Bridgerton x reader#Anthony Bridgerton x female reader#Anthony Bridgerton x fem reader#anthony x reader#anthony bridgerton
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𝑲𝒊𝒔𝒔𝒂𝒃𝒍𝒆
Summary: While they're on opposite ends of the social spectrum, Y/N and Harry have been the closest of friends for years. But could it be that an all-night working session for a science project helps them break out of the friendzone?
Genre: Friends to Lovers | Nerd!Harry x Badgirl!Y/N
Warnings: SMUT | Self-Deprication | This is coming-of-age story. There's no mention of their age but both characters are in their last year of high school (just a heads up in case someone doesn't want to read because of that)
Wordcount: 10k
A/N: ok y'all, so i have made a mistake.
i was like 99% sure there was a request in my inbox asking for a blurb where harry was nerdy? i found it interesting so i started working on it... only to realize halfway into things that that was not in fact what was written in the request 😅
i figured i might as well post it anyways since i wrote it but yeah... i'm sorry, anon! i (now) know you wanted subby!harry, but all i have to give you is nerd!harry (don't worry, i made him a lil subby just for you 🤫)
also, before y'all flood my inbox with asks about the non finished fics (rightfully so) i hear you and i'm very, very sorry for the lack of updates. i had to take a break because i kept feeling like the texts i could come up with weren't good enough for the stories i wanted to tell. i still partly feel that way, but i'm hoping the lack of real harry content will inspire me to write more in the near future. thank you for reading my dumb little stories, i love you 💖
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Harry was never too fond of grocery shopping.
He really didn’t like the whole “put things inside the cart, remove things from the cart at the cashier, bag them, put them back into the cart, get them in the car, take them out of the car, bring them inside and put them away” process.
It was extremely inconvenient to him.
It was also very time-consuming, though Harry believed this particular belief of his was directly influenced by having to grocery shop with his grandparents every other day.
Naturally, they were slower than he was, so he'd just drag his feet behind them, push the cart and wait for them to ask him to grab something from the shelves that their aging pains no longer allowed them to reach.
That part was fine, what bore him the most was how easily they got sidetracked by trinkets that weren’t on the shopping list. Oh! And how they always managed to locate a random old person they knew from God knows where who engaged them in talks that appeared to stretch for hours.
Harry would try and make up reasons not to go with them sometimes, but he always felt a little guilty about it afterwards. After all, it was a very small favor for him to help his grandparents with their groceries, considering they had been the ones to provide him with a loving home after his parents failed to do so.
People always seemed to feel sorry for him when they found out he'd grown up without his “real parents” around, but he'd never had reasons to complain, really. Unlike his parents, Joe and Martha had always treated him nicely and made him feel genuinely loved.
They were a little overprotective at times, but like Y/N always said, that was probably because they watched too much TV.
Speaking of Y/N, Harry didn't hate grocery shopping with her so much. He even kind of enjoyed it as long as the space wasn't too crowded. That day it wasn’t, which he was extremely thankful for because it reduced the chances of them bumping into any familiar faces who might ask about his grandparents, or if the girl he was with was his girlfriend.
That’s another thing he detested about running into people his grandparents were friends with - they loved to pester him with indiscreet questions about his love life that made him go red-faced. It was even worse when he happened to be with Y/N during those times; fortunately, she was always a bit clueless about it. Harry guessed that the reason for that was that she was so comfortable with their friendship that she wasn't even aware of what was going on… even if she thought it a little odd that he kept introducing her as his neighbor even though they weren't neighbors anymore.
Despite the fact that they no longer lived next door to each other, Y/N was still a frequent visitor at Harry’s house. Ever since his family relocated to a different area of the city, it had become custom for her to spend the night whenever the two had group projects to do.
Their journey was always the same. As they got off the bus from school, they would head to the supermarket to stock up on frozen pizzas and late-night goodies to help them through the long hours they’d be spending working on their computers.
That day was no different. They'd just grabbed their pizzas, and were now wandering around the drinks aisle looking at the options.
“Do you think your grandma would notice if we hid one of these in your backpack?” Asked the ex-neighbor, Y/N. The smile on her face got him figuring she was up to no good… even before he noticed the bottle of whatever alcoholic beverage she was holding.
The idea startled him a little more than he'd like to admit. “Don’t start! And put it back before anyone sees you.”
The way his body jumped made Y/N laugh as she set the bottle back on its shelf. “Relax, okay? I was only messing with you... I knew you'd be too chicken to do it. But just so you know, they don't even ask for an ID most times.”
He replied to her with a headshake. “You're not as cool as you think just because you get drunk with your friends every once in a while.” She didn’t seem too pleased by his remark, but Harry figured that by now she ought to know he didn't mean most of what he said when he was annoyed. “You can get an iced tea… or a pepsi… or that weird-flavored soda you like.”
“Fine.”
Harry noticed that even after he allowed her to pick her favorite drink, Y/N still didn't seem particularly happy with him. She trailed behind him in silence while he pushed the cart around and didn't even appear to care when they walked past the shelf where her usual go-to snack was.
“Did you know that statistically, people who start drinking in their teens have a 5 times higher likelihood of becoming alcoholics than those who only start later?” Harry knew it probably wasn't the best conversation topic to get her to talk to him, but it was the only thing that came to his mind in the moment.
“Did you know that stating facts like that makes you look 1000 times more of a nerd than you already are?”
Harry snorted at her retort. “You didn't seem to mind me being a nerd when you asked me to work on the paper with you.”
“I do every paper with you, why should this be any different?”
He smirked at that. It was true. He and Y/N had attended every academic year together since they first met in elementary school, and they had managed to enroll in almost all of the same classes each time. They were currently in their senior year of high school, and their friendship was still pretty solid despite their different personalities and social interests.
Y/N was in the midst of a rebellious phase. In the beginning it all had been quite harmless, with her obsession with dyeing the ends of her hair crazy colors and pairing fishnets with knee socks. That somehow led her into starting to hang out with people Harry considered to be a little unnerving.
He wasn't sure what exactly made him annoyed about them... Maybe it was because he was a little resentful over having to “compete” for Y/N's attention and feared he would one day completely lose her to them, given that they were undoubtedly the cooler part of the equation. Perhaps part of it was also because those people reminded him of the kind who used to bully him for being a dork when he was younger. Thankfully, he wasn't being bullied as much anymore, but he still didn't have many friends.
He also barely interacted with girls, as one might expect. There were times he had crushes, but he was always afraid to talk to them, so things never really went anywhere. Thus, Y/N was really Harry's only female friend.
He confesses sometimes he was surprised she still wanted to hang out with him as much as she did. When she became popular, Harry naturally assumed she would ditch him for social status reasons, but that never happened, which was a big relief to him since he liked having her around.
They were both geeky, so they watched a lot of movies and played video games together... but when it came to other things, they were a little different. Y/N had a much better sense of style, was much more social, and enjoyed doing dumb things like smoking weed and getting drunk behind her parents’ backs.
Harry had never really understood the appeal of it. In fact, his lack of interest in participating in that stuff sometimes worried him a bit, but again... it wasn’t like he wasn’t curious.
There were a few times when he thought it would be cool if he could hang out with Y/N and her friends, go out drinking, dance, and maybe, just maybe, if he was very very lucky, even get to kiss someone on the mouth.
But then he always ended up reasoning that people like him weren't welcome at parties and that if he ever dared to step foot into one he'd probably end up being the butt of everyone’s jokes.
Even knowing so, he couldn't help fantasizing about it… especially the last part. Yes, Harry definitely thought about intimacy a lot more than he'd ever be willing to admit… and he also pondered a lot about how being practically invisible to girls sucked… and about how much he wished one would give him a chance.
He was aware of his issues, however. He knew he wasn’t exactly the hottest guy around. His haircut and clothing were out of style, mostly because he lacked the confidence to mess with his looks and follow the trends the way other people did. He’d buy new t-shirts sometimes; the only thing was that they almost always had gaming-related designs which obviously didn't do his style much good.
But it wasn’t all bad. Harry knew he had nice eyes… he just couldn't get the girls to come close enough to notice them. He figured the way he stared at the floor when he walked, along with the thick glasses he had been wearing since childhood had also taken part in preventing people from noticing how green his eyes were.
He thought Y/N had nice eyes as well, and he liked the way she accentuated them with make-up… even when her eyeliner turned out a little uneven or got smudgy because she forgot she had it on and rubbed her eyes with her fingers.
She'd been doing that a lot in the last hour they'd been working on their paper, which was making Harry feel a little bad.
Normally, by that time in the evening Y/N would already be working on her part, but as they'd started later than usual, she wasn't. Also, being the control freak he was, Harry always wanted to be the one in charge of the research portion of any papers they worked on. Leaving the final task of writing and flourishing to Y/N.
So the poor girl had been sitting next to him for hours, watching him go through articles on his laptop.
Harry could tell by the increased frequency of her yawns that her battery was running low, so he wasn't the least bit surprised when he heard her hesitantly ask, “Are you planning on staying up much longer? Aren’t you getting tired?”
“Um… not really. I found this really cool essay and want to make sure we gather all of their data.” He was so preoccupied with copying and pasting that he didn't even look away from the screen as he replied to the question. “It's a shame we don’t have any hot springs nearby... wouldn't it be cool if we could collect samples of these microbes and study them in the school lab?”
“Are you for real?” She looked at him like he was crazy as she let her back slide halfway down the bedframe. “Do you really find these stupid water microbes that interesting?”
“Not all of them, it’s just that I’d never considered that there could be some growing and thriving in actual boiling water… since, you know, that’s what’s supposed to kill them.” Due to the silence that followed, Harry realized that despite Y/N's efforts to keep him company, she was moments away from falling asleep. “Should I go get the air mattress to make your bed?”
“I can't sleep. I haven't done my part yet.”
“It's fine; we still have the entire day tomorrow to finish.”
“Don't bother with me if you’re focused on the paper. I just need to close my eyes for a bit, but I won’t fall asleep.” She promised, but Harry knew better than to believe her. “Do you mind if use your covers? Your room’s a bit chilly.”
“No, not at all.” He didn't mind it, in fact, he even found it a little exciting. Not in a pervy way, but it felt good to know that a good looking girl would be using his bed and leaving her girly scent on it. Harry tried not to dwell on those kinds of thoughts over Y/N too much, but of course he thought she was hot. He wasn’t that blind.
He hadn't always felt that way. For a long while Harry just thought of her as his best friend, but she'd grown into her curves in the last couple of years and he would be lying if he said his eyes and mind didn't occasionally wander. He felt a little bad about it, but it wasn't like he was ever going to do anything other than fantasize, so he supposed it was alright… as long as she didn’t catch on.
Truth be told, he’d always liked Y/N’s personality, but as of recently her looks and the way she dressed had also made her the type of girl he was attracted to on the outside. Yes, it was always the girls who wore alternative clothing and scowled a lot that caught his eye.
He was aware that his preference sounded extremely stereotypical coming from a shy loser like him, but it wasn’t like he could help what he was keen on.
“Is the entire chapter on Volcanic Islands really necessary?” She asked, leaning further into him so she could see the laptop screen despite being laid down.
“I'm not sure if it's necessary, but I thought we should at least mention these two islands since they keep coming up.” He could feel her sigh of defeat on his arm. “It’s already halfway done. I've already gotten all the info about Iceland… now all that's left is this tiny archipelago in Portugal.” With that, he rushed to type the final location on the Google search bar but was taken aback by Y/N's chuckling. “What are you laughing at?”
“Do you not know how to delete your browsing history?” She asked him, still laughing.
Harry's brows furrowed slightly, but he smiled along. “Huh, why? Seriously random that.”
“Random, really? I may only be half awake, but I can still see.”
“See what?”
“See Pornhub come up on your suggestions when you started typing Portugal.” Harry's face dropped instantly. Then, with a harsh slam, he shut his laptop lid. He could feel his entire body tensing up as a burning wave swept across his face, hotter than he'd ever felt before. “Harry, relax!” Y/N remarked when she saw him like that. She seemed rather worried about it as she clung to his arm and shook it. “Hey, look at me, this isn’t a bad thing. You don't have to-”
Before she could say anything else, Harry covered his face with his sheets and muttered, “Yes it is. It’s embarrassing.” Honestly, even that felt like a tame word to describe how he was feeling. This was, hands down, one of the most awkward circumstances he’d ever been in. He wasn't prepared to deal with it, so he chose to remain hidden and avoid further conversation.
He knew he'd have to come out at some point, but he couldn’t bear the thought of facing Y/N knowing that she knew he watched porn and wanked. It was making him feel all kinds of yucky, which was why he was a bit shocked by what happened right after.
Y/N ventured under the sheets after him, and eventually nestled into his side. The warmth felt nice, but being so close to her was weird. He liked it, but it also made him feel worse at the same time, given that she'd been the catalyst for his breakdown in the first place and all that. Plus, he still couldn't wrap his head around why she wanted to touch him when he felt so icky.
Despite the fact that they were right next to each other, it took a while for one of them to venture breaking the silence. By the time Harry tried, he had a dry mouth, so he had to swallow first. “I know it’s not your fault, but I'd honestly rather you hadn't said anything because knowing you saw is making me feel like shit.”
His faltering whispers seemed to stun Y/N a little, as if she'd already accepted that they wouldn't be talking for the rest of the night. “There's no need for you to feel that way… especially with me.” She returned his hushed words. “I wouldn't have said anything if I knew you'd get like this. I was just joking.”
“I know, but it still bothers me.” Harry was a little surprised by how at ease he felt speaking in quiet whispers while hiding under his covers. For some reason, talking to Y/N in this setting wasn’t as mortifying as he'd anticipated. “And just to be clear, I have no idea how that ended up in my suggestions. I always use incognito mode for that stuff.”
He couldn't see her, but he could feel her shrug. “You must have forgotten to open a new tab. It has happened to me before.”
“Oh. So. You watch it too?”
“Doesn't everybody, at least once in a while?”
“I don’t know… I suppose they must, yeah.” They both fell quiet for a bit, but not for longer than a few breaths as Harry felt the urge to clarify something. “I don't want you to think I'm a perv, though. I don't watch it all that often… not the kind of stuff that you’re probably thinking I watch, anyway.”
“What do you think I think you watch?”
“I don’t know, like… cringy, scripted porn… you know, the usual “oh no, I’m stuck!” stuff that shows up on the main page.”
“Um… I’ll be honest, you’ve always came across as more of a Hentai guy to me. And before you say anything, this isn't just me calling you a weeaboo. I've watched my share too and overall, I think it's much better than that other stuff you were talking about.”
“Yeah, fine... I'll admit that I like Hentai, but it’s not all I watch.” Harry wasn't sure why he felt so keen on sharing all of a sudden, but weirdly, he was kind of enjoying their conversation. He found the topic interesting, and he'd never had the chance to discuss it with anybody in person before so… it was fun. And, on top of that, Y/N was disclosing a bit too and he liked that he was getting to know this part of her as well. “Do you know what audio porn is?” She hummed and nodded yes. “Cool, so, there’s this category called ‘guided masturbation’ that’s basically just girls talking and like... telling you what to do. There’s no visual content really, but it has a very real feel to it that I like... almost as if you're on the phone with someone.”
“That's interesting, actually. I always thought that audio porn mostly for women, since, you know... everyone says men are visual creatures.” She shifted her weight slightly, turning towards him. “But you still find naked girls hot, right? the sight of them?”
“Well, of course. I’d be worried if that wasn’t the case.” Her question struck Harry a little, but he liked that she was acting curious and asking him things. “Honestly, I think the reason why I don't watch more regular porn is because I can't picture myself living out the fantasies. I don’t know, it’s weird to explain.”
“You can’t picture yourself in a sexy plumber costume ready to unclog a hot milf’s pipes?”
Harry snorted. “You're joking, but that's pretty much what it is.”
She hummed as she drew closer to him on the bed. This time her, placing her head into the crook of his arm. Her mouth was closer to Harry's ear in this position, although he wasn't aware of this until he heard, and felt, her whisper again. “Is that why you like to hear girls telling you what to do? because you're a bit unexperienced?”
Harry wasn't usually one to cuss, but shit. Hearing her whisper that somewhat snarky question so close to his ear struck a chord with him. It was freaking hot and kind of reminded him a bit of the audios he liked. Obviously, it wasn't as explicit, but it was better in many ways. A huge downside to the experience, however, was that it was extremely difficult to concentrate afterward. In fact, in the midst of his thoughts, Harry almost forgot to reply. “Um… I guess? I’m sorry, I kind of forgot what the question was.”
“No, it’s all good. I’m sure you must be getting tired.” With that, Y/N crawled out from under the covers. As she did so, her hand stumbled onto Harry’s toppled over laptop. “Oh, I didn’t even notice this was here. We should probably turn it off, right? Assuming you don't want to keep working after this.”
Harry also came out from hiding and sat up in a position similar to hers, with his legs partially covered by the covers. As his eyes re-acclimated to the brightness of the room, he massaged them a little. “Sure. I’ll just need a moment to, uh… make sure the file got saved properly, if that’s okay.”
Taking advantage of his temporary blindness, Y/N snatched his pillow from his side of the bed. She tucked it under herself and slid back under the sheets. “I've got a comfy bed right here so… feel free to take as much time as you need.”
He smiled at her antics as he readjusted the laptop over his legs and opened it. Turns out the file had been autosaved, but Harry still saved it once more before switching off his computer and setting it over his desk. “Yeah, that's fine. I don’t mind giving you my bed for the night and sleeping on the air mattress for a change.”
“Or you could spare yourself and sleep right there instead of worrying about which one of us will be sleeping on the floor.”
Her offer caused his eyebrows to rise, but he wasn't sure if that was a good thing to do. He liked the idea of it but was a little concerned about accidentally doing something embarrassing in the middle of the night. What if he made a toot? Or worse, had a wet dream? He hadn't had any recently, but one never knew when it might start happening again. In any case, he'd probably wake up with a stupid morning wood as usual, which was something that he could typically make go away before he got up when Y/N was around… but if she was going to sleep next to him, wasn’t there a chance she could tell? That prospect made him terrified. “Um… I'm not sure that I'm a good sleep partner; grandma says I used to move a lot in my sleep when I was small.”
“Oh. I don’t mind. I just don't feel like sleeping by myself tonight for some reason.” Y/N shrugged, leaving him unsure of what to say next. It was already difficult to say no when it wasn’t what he wanted to say, but it became nearly impossible when he looked at her and met her begging eyes.
Well then, if she was being so casual about it, he figured it must not be that common for people to do humiliating things in their sleep, contrary to what he had previously been led to believe by his insecurities. The other factor that was pushing him to say yes was that having to get up to grab the air mattress from the attic and make Y/N a bed sounded a little too demanding for how lazy he was feeling. His bed wasn't even tiny either, so they'd have plenty of room to spread out without troubling one another throughout the night. “Ok, alright. But don't grumble tomorrow about having trouble falling asleep because of me. This was entirely your idea.”
“I don’t grumble.” He made sure to let her see his eyeroll before turning off the lights and getting into bed with a second pillow for himself. No one said anything for a bit, they were just adjusting their positions in search for the most comfortable one. Harry was still wide-awake, but he believed it wouldn't be long until Y/N fell asleep. She was already close to when they were working on the paper, so it shouldn't take long at all.
She proved him wrong, though, when she blurted out something after minutes of being quiet. “I have another question for you...”
“Oh. What’s that?”
Harry saw a shadow that he believed to be her head poking up from the pillow, propped on what should be her arm. Her voice sounded quite chirpy too, which meant he’d probably underestimated how awake and willing to chat his friend actually was. “Have you ever… like, kissed anyone?”
“That’s so random.” It was during times like these that Harry wished he could travel back in time. If he could go back and pretend to be asleep two seconds ago when Y/N asked if she could ask him a question, he wouldn’t even hesitate. Heck, he'd even pretend to snore if it meant not having to respond but alas, since Harry didn’t have any time travel abilities, that wasn’t an option. She knew he was awake and was anxiously awaiting his response. “You're quite random sometimes, Y/N...”
Her voice was hushed, yet a little taunting. “That’s not an answer.”
Harry sighed, realizing she wasn't going to let him off the hook until he participated in the discussion she wanted to have. “Alright, then… define kissing... does something like a peck qualify?”
“No, Harry. I'm talking about actual kissing. Tongue and all.”
“Oh um. I knew that, obviously.”
“And did you do it or not?”
“Yeah I, uh. I've kissed...” His words stumbled slightly. They didn't come out as cool or confident as he’d hoped, but he did try to make his statement sound plausible. “But it wasn’t with a lot of tongue... just like, a little bit.”
Y/N let out a snort at his unconvincing answer. “You’re a shit liar, but fine. I used to lie about it too when people asked me.” Rather than defending himself, Harry didn't say anything, which told his friend all she needed to know. “Is it something you think about, though? would you like to do it?”
“Well, yeah… of course I’d like to. Even some of the guys I hang out with have done it... and you’ve seen them.” Harry felt a bit mean making that remark about his friends' looks. Obviously, he wanted them to have someone who liked them, but that didn’t change the fact that none of them had much going in terms of physical appeal. “I'm not saying this to make you feel sorry for me. I know I’m the problem and that the reason why I haven’t kissed yet is because I’m not a kissable person. My only hope is that things will change once we start college. I don't know if I ever told you before, but I've been thinking about switching to contacts. I was also thinking it could be nice to exercise a bit just so clothes would fit me better. What do you think? It should help, right?”
Even in total darkness, Harry could tell that Y/N's eyebrows were deeply furrowed by her tone of voice. “Who was it that told you you weren't kissable?”
“Nobody needed to tell me. I see myself every time I look in the mirror. I dress like my grandpa and have a bit of a hunch like him too.”
“I think you're mistaking being unattractive for wearing clothes that aren’t particularly flattering. It's very different.” Harry knew she couldn't see it, but he was kissing his teeth at what she’d said. “If the reason why you want to make those changes is to feel better about yourself, then you have my full support… I do, however, have a feeling that’s not all it is, so I hope you realize that you don’t have to bend over backwards to be likable or kissable, or anything else. You already are all of those things exactly as you are.”
“I appreciate you sugarcoating things to make me feel better but if what you are saying were true, and I was fine the way I am, I wouldn't have this much trouble finding someone who saw that in me.” He sighed, a little annoyed by her efforts. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but it’s hard for me to believe you’ll ever understand what it feels like to be me. You’re like... the coolest, most kissable girl ever.”
There was a slight click, and suddenly the room got soaked in an orange light that caused Harry to squint despite his familiarity with it. His bedside table lamp was on, and Y/N was staring at him in awe. “You think I’m kissable?”
Crap. Had he really blurted it out that way? He couldn't recall the precise words he had used, but it seemed unlikely that Y/N was asking him that for no reason. She looked very taken aback by what she’d heard, and Harry, who still hadn't a clue how he’d managed to put his foot in it yet again, felt his face turn red and his tongue stutter once more. “Not in a weird way! Maybe I phrased it in a way that made it seem like I was being weird, but it was just a form of expression. Not that what I said isn’t true, but I would never say it like that. Even if I wanted to kiss you, which has never crossed my mind, really.”
“Hm.” Y/N’s gaze was drawn to her hands as he finished. Harry observed that she was picking at her nail polish, which was rather unusual for her unless she was nervous. “Is it really that ridiculous? I mean, if you wanted to, I wouldn't mind...”
His forehead wrinkled. “Why? Because you feel sorry for me?”
“No Harry, because I'd like to.”
“Me? You’d like to kiss me? Why?”
Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know.” Her tone was a little hesitant, but she carried on. “Aff, okay… screw it. I might as well tell you since we’re talking about it. So, I, uh. I have a bit of a thing for you. I’ve had it for a while, but it was never serious… since well, I never really felt like there was a real possibility that it could be reciprocated. That’s why I didn’t tell you sooner, that and because I wasn't sure how things would turn out if you rejected me so… I figured it would be best not to say anything.” She shrugged once more, as a small smile formed on her lips. “You’ve also never mentioned having any crushes or being into anyone, so I thought maybe you weren't interested in that type of stuff much.”
“Yeah, right.” Harry rolled over in bed, facing away from her. It wasn’t unusual of Y/N to play practical jokes on him from time to time, but this one did not go over well with him. It seriously screwed with his self-esteem and since it was her, he could have easily been tricked into admitting something he'd end up regretting. “I know you’re taking the piss and I don't think it's funny, like, at all.”
“Why would I be taking the piss? Do you really think I'd joke about something like this? And look at me when I'm speaking to you!” She pulled on his shoulder, compelling him to lie onto his back so she could at least see his face.
Harry complied with her, but not without a groan. “I'm serious Y/N. If you’re trolling, this is your one chance to say so ‘cause If I find out later that you were doing this to see me make a fool of myself or to get me flustered, I'm going to get really, really angry at you.”
“I may play a lot of dumb jokes, but I don't play with people's feelings like that… let alone my friends' feelings. I'm dead serious, Harry. It's really not that hard to see it if you think a little.” She huffed, upset that he wasn’t taking her seriously. She'd guessed he’d act a little wary at first but hadn't expected him to think she was pulling a prank on him. How could he have missed that she had a thing for him anyway, with how touchy she was when they were alone together? With her acting so eager to be his first kiss? She'd been shit at hiding it for years. It was so clear. “Do you remember when we were kids... my parents took us to a fancy playground by a lake and... there was a girl there who had a Nintendo but wouldn't let me play with it, she would only let you, so I snatched it away?”
"Yeah, I remember.” As he replied, Harry was unable to stop himself from letting out small laugh at the memory. “And then you threw it in the water because you'd heard from someone that Nintendo’s were waterproof. Your parents got so mad, and she wouldn't stop crying. It was awful.”
“Yeah, that. Except, I never really thought that they were waterproof. I did it because she was nasty... and it made me upset that you’d left me to play on the slide alone.” Y/N admitted, also laughing and shaking her head a bit at her childish antics. “I didn't know back then what being jealous was, but I think about that day sometimes... it makes me feel embarrassed obviously, but it also makes me realize that I've always been really possessive of you. I think if you'd turn out to have many girlfriends I would have realized much sooner that my feelings for you weren't just friendly ones.”
“Wow. Was that really what that was?” Harry was stupefied and Y/N couldn't not giggle at his open mouthed reaction. “I’m sorry, it’s just… this whole thing is really confusing. My head is spinning a bit and... being completely honest, part of me still thinks that you’re joking but at the same time, you seem serious enough so I’m gonna choose to believe you. Even if I have no idea why you'd like me that way, other than maybe ‘cause I'm tall.
“The hair too. Don't forget your fluffy hair.” She added playfully. “No but, even though I like those things, they aren’t the reason why I like you. I just do. There’s no logical explanation for it.”
“Yeah, um. That makes sense. I mean, not really but I think I understand that feeling you were describing and… I can kind of relate to it too since I've kind of had a small crush too since last year… or well, I've realized last year... back when you were dating that Joshua guy. It made me jealous. I’ve always thought it was silly though, so I tried not to think about it too much.” Harry acknowledged, albeit doing it with more trepidation and delay than Y/N had. “I've had other crushes too, but they were on girls I never talked to so... they didn’t last too long.”
“Wait so… you’ve had a crush too? since that long?”
“I- uh.. I have. Yeah.”
“You must be really good at hiding your feelings then, because I never noticed anything that suggested that, much less that you were jealous. Trust me, if I had any inkling I would’ve had this conversation with you last year instead of doing what I did. I didn’t even like Joshua much… I just wanted to have someone.” She pursed her lips in a mournful smile before reaching out for Harry's hand. It wasn’t the first time that their hands had brushed, but this time something in Harry's chest was sparked by her touch, making him feel both ecstatic and stiff at the same time. “It's nice that you've had other crushes, though. I think I'd be more upset if I found out you'd been caught up on me all this time and I'd just been completely unaware of it. With that said, I don't want you thinking about other girls now. Only me.”
“Yeah, okay. Just you. I like how that sounds a lot.” Harry had no idea what had possessed him, but he felt compelled to bring her hand to his mouth and kiss it. His gesture made her giggle, but he got somewhat self-conscious afterwards. “Was that lame? Probably, right?”
“No, it was cute. I liked it.” She reciprocated by lifting his hand to her mouth and placing a kiss over his knuckles. “Is there anywhere else you’d like me to kiss?”
With a tentative smile, he gave her a direct glance before nodding. Y/N scooted a bit closer to him but as they got closer, Harry's body tightened a little. He couldn't take his eyes off her lips, yet the sight of the rosy, fluffy cushions was giving him pause. “I’m sorry if I’m not… uh… if I don’t know how to...”
She gave his cheek a comforting caress. “That’s fine, but are you okay? You’re shaking a bit.”
Harry laughed, feeling rather frustrated with himself. “Yeah, um… sorry about that. I'm just really nervous.”
“It can wait if you're not ready.” Y/N made a point of assuring him, even though she had a feeling that waiting wasn't what Harry wanted. He was just nervous, which was totally normal for someone who was about to get their first kiss. The most she could do was try to make him a bit calmer. “Is there anything specific that you're worried about?”
“No, I’m ready. It's just a bit overwhelming. This is all so alien to me… it’s a lot for my nervous system to handle.” Y/N couldn’t not frown a bit at how adorable he was as she listened. “I- I'm also a little in over my head, thinking I probably won’t be as good as the boys you've kissed before.”
“You don't have to worry about that, really. Trying stuff until you figure out what makes the other person melt is the most fun part.” She assured, before giving his hand another kiss. “We’ll learn that from one another, okay?”
Harry nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
Upon his approval, Y/N pulled herself closer and higher, until her face was barely above his. They both smiled as she rubbed her nose against his... once, twice, and then it happened. She dropped her head just enough for their lips to touch.
Her tenderness and Harry's stomach-bursting butterflies were in stark contrast, making for a bizarre, yet fascinating combination of sensations.
They weren't quite in time with one another's lips but their kiss was free flowing. And it felt flawless, akin to a Vivaldi concerto or a Michelangelo masterpiece. There was something alarming about it too, however. Suddenly, Harry could feel the relatively insignificant seed of love that Y/N had planted in his heart blossom into a giant sequoia tree. And he couldn't, for the life of him, fathom the possibility of having shared a moment as nice with anyone else.
He was truly loving whatever love spell she was casting on his body with her kissing, which is why he couldn't help but let out a low whimper when he felt their lips unglue from her pulling away. “Why did you- why did you stop?”
“Your glasses are getting in the way.” She explained as she carefully started pulling them off his face. “Here, much better.” As soon as she was done placing his glasses over the nightstand, she raised her leg and straddled him. Well, sort of. It was more of an embrace; except she was laying on top of him. “This is okay, right? Not too much pressure?”
“Mh-mm. Better. Thank you.” Harry's face was flushed, and he couldn't stop smiling as he stared at her. She was so pretty, and her body over his felt so cozy. It was still hard to believe he had kissed her, but the tingle on his lips confirmed it was real, despite how uncanny it all felt. “I like this a lot, being this close to you.”
“Me too.” She ran her fingertips across his blushing skin. “You're so cute like this. I should’ve kissed you way sooner. You seem to like it too, don't you?”
“Mh-mm. I really do.” Harry desperately wanted more kisses from her, but he was still a little too unsure of himself to initiate. Besides, he’d really liked when she took initiative earlier and led the way so that’s what he wanted to happen again. “I’d like to do it some more, if that’s okay...”
Y/N smiled at his request, but wasted no time before she leaned in to taste his lips again.
It was mostly just smooches that they were trading, but that didn’t keep her from taking a nibble here and there. Harry was very responsive to her nibbles, which she appreciated. She’d never been with a boy who got whimpery and breathy just from making out before, but she found it to be incredibly encouraging and arousing.
What made it extra hot was knowing he wasn't doing it on purpose because he knew girls liked stuff like that. It was just how his body was reacting to her. She was also well aware that her kisses had gotten him bricked up instantaneously. His warm stiffness was palpable between her thighs, despite being covered by his pajama bottoms.
If it had been any of the boys she’d kissed before, the erection would have freaked her out a bit, but as it was Harry she thought it was cute that he was so excited. He wasn't the only one feeling this way though. The damp panties she had on served as a casual reminder that she was getting quite excited as well.
Despite her wants, Y/N had been doing a great job of controlling herself… only that task became much more challenging when Harry started getting more comfortable, more intuitive, and by default, touchier. At some point in the course of their kissing, he’d started sliding his hands up her back and, on occasion, giving her hips a squeeze. He'd noticed she was pleased by this, so he worked up the nerve to lower his hands to her bum and squeeze her there too.
“Not feeling so shy anymore, are you?” Y/N playfully teased, to which Harry responded by smiling and hiding his face by pulling her in for a hug. It hadn't been her intention to rub up on him, but he’d drew her in so close that their bellies were flush together, so when she shifted next he felt it on his crotch… and moaned, all deep and throaty. They stared at each other, until Y/N turned her mouth to Harry's ear and asked, “Do you want this? want me to do it again?”
His nodding was quick. “Just don't go too fast, ‘cause uh... might feel too good.”
“Okay, got it.” She said, then held onto the pillow under Harry’s head, nails digging into fabric as she began to move slowly on top of him. Rolling her hips to press down on the bulge in his pants. The pressure on her clit was both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, it was a relief to finally have a way to sooth some of the built-up tension, but on the other, it made her yearn for more friction.
She could feel his heavy, strained breathing against her skin. “Mm, it's too much, feels… too good. Ah-” He moaned again, once her fingers gripped at the roots of his hair.
“Shh, quiet.” Y/N covered his mouth and smiled. “I love your moans, but we have to keep it quiet.” She said, before removing her hand from his mouth and putting her lips in its place.
“I know, sorry.” Harry replied once she broke their kiss. “If I get loud again, you can repeat that hand thing if you want… it was hot.”
“Hmm, was it?” She returned her hand to his lips, but this time she allowed two fingers to go inside and prod into his mouth, that he was keeping slightly ajar for her. “That’s good, Harry. You're a natural at this, I think.” She had been straddling him with her body leaning over his, but she sat upright for a moment to appreciate how adorable he looked with her fingers in his mouth from farther away. As soon as he saw her eyes fixed on him, his lips encircled her fingers, and his tongue began to softly wriggle between them. “Mh-m... that's it. Just like that.”
As she started moving her hips again, Harry's hands shot to her waist, to hold her as she rutted against him. This gave her more balance, so she ramped up the pace, rubbing harder and faster to create the desired friction for her. The change caught up with Harry quickly, who began groan restlessly into her fingers in response. She pulled them off to let him speak. “S-slow... please go slower. If you don't, I'll-”
“Make a mess. I know. Give me your hands.” As per Y/N’s request, Harry slid his hands away from her waist and held them up between their bodies. Y/N took them, entwined their fingers together and then without warning, allowed her weight to fall forward, successfully pinning him to the bed. “I know you want to, but you're ashamed about doing it in your underwear. So, I was thinking… if I keep you like this and force it out of you, maybe you won't feel so bad about wanting it anymore. What do you say?”
“I just don't want to get you dirty, that's all. I thought I could keep it under control a little better, but I can't. It feels so much better than my hand.” Harry acknowledged, smiling shyly. “That sounds hot, though… the idea of you forcing it.”
“I know but don't worry about getting me dirty. I brought extra pjs.” She gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hands. “So…you want to do it, then? Since you think it’s hot…”
A delaying groan rumbled in his throat before his lips parted into a broad smile, the kind of smile you make when you’re on the verge of breaking into laugher. “I’m going be so embarrassed about this tomorrow, but yeah. I want to.”
Y/N shook her head at him, grinning. “Don't. I've always wanted to do this. It's a bit of a fantasy of mine, I guess.” She didn’t give him a chance to react to her confession, as she started rutting against his cock again. This time she wasn’t being gentle or avoiding any harsh friction. Her movements were quicker and jerkier than they had been before, and she tightened her hold on his hands as well. She had a hunch Harry liked the feeling of being held down and used, so that's what she was doing.
He was shivering beneath her, taking fast breaths through his mouth as he looked her in the eyes. The poor baby couldn’t stay quiet for the life of him, either. His whimpers and groans were unrelenting, so she was bound to muffle him once more.
His now-free hand joined hers over his mouth, but it didn’t linger there for long since he took hold of her wrist and started guiding it downward. “My neck,” He pleaded lowly, his voice trembling. “…want your hand on my neck.”
She gave him a devilish smirk before grabbing his throat. She only needed to hold him still; there was no need to squeeze or do anything else. “And I want your cum,” she told him, hoping that slipping in a few dirty words in combination with her movements would make him snap. “…want to get all wet from it.”
Harry’s legs jerked beneath her. “Close,” He warned, a little startled. “So, so close…” The fact that she could not only hear him but also feel his words on his throat as he spoke was incredibly arousing. “Please…” He pled sweetly, what triggered a sudden desire in Y/N's chest to be closer. She released her hold on his throat and hugged him tight as she drove her hips into his, rutting violently to make him orgasm.
It worked.
Between her thighs, Y/N could feel his warm juices seeping through the material of their pajamas. So she kept rutting, wanting to make sure she had extracted every last drop of them.
Harry returned her tight hug all the way through his climax, and he didn’t let go after either. They remained in that position for a while, holding each other close regardless of the slightly unpleasant wetness that was binding them together. “We should probably change right?” Y/N asked after a beat, despite her lack of want to wrest away from him.
“M-hm. I’m all gross and sticky.” Harry laughed. “I’m gonna need another shower in the morning, but for now, I think I'll just wipe it off and put on new boxers. I mean if you don't mind that I don't wear pants to bed…”
“No, I don't mind. I'm gonna take mine off too.”
“Oh. That's a great idea. Sounds perfect to me.” Harry playfully quipped, before he got out of bed and started opening drawers. “Also, um… I don't know how to ask without being weird, but could you close your eyes for a moment? so I can take care of myself real quick?” Y/N said yes and turned away to give him privacy while he cleaned himself and changed. She was a tiny bit surprised that he hadn't wanted to use the restroom for that, but she figured that since it was closer to his grandparents' bedroom at the end of the corridor, he probably didn't want to risk going and waking them up. “Okay… you can look now.”
When Y/N looked at him next, the first thing she noticed was that he had on a pair of tight, black boxers. The next thing she noticed was that Harry was looking at her legs, since, as he’d probably seen when he turned, she had also stripped off her pants in the interim, leaving just her grey panties on. “What?” He smiled in response to her curious gaze.
She wouldn’t bring it up, but she could see he had grown a little hard in his boxers just from seeing her sprawled in bed with no pants on. “Nothing, you’re cute.”
Harry snorted at that. “Thanks, but you're much cuter.” He wandered across the room to where the supermarket bags were. “Are you thirsty? Do you want water or a snack? ”
“Hmm, just water if that’s okay.”
Harry handed her the water bottle and sat down on the bed next to her while she drank from it. “You didn’t cum…” he pointed out after a moment of pause.
“Oh um… yeah. I didn’t. It’s okay though.” Y/N laughed, shrugged, and took another sip of her water.
“Hmm.” Harry hummed, before scooting a little closer to her. “It must be a bit of an unpleasant feeling, no? and hard to sleep like that.”
“It is a little until it goes away but nothing that I can't handle.”
“Hm.” He hummed again, before Y/N cocked her head to kiss his lips. She’d only meant to give him a peck, but Harry changed her plans when he leaned in to kiss her deeper. He seemed really eager to continue kissing and well, she wasn't about to say no to him. Especially when he went so far as to nibble on her lip, which he hadn’t done before. He was also getting handsy with her, and she loved it. He was touching her more and focusing on the spots he'd learned she liked.
“That,” She blurted, as she paused to catch her breath. “That feels really nice.”
“M-hm.” He murmured against her lips as he kissed her again. His hand continued to grab at her as they kissed, to the point where Y/N couldn’t take it anymore. She hadn’t meant to but ended up moving her knees apart out of desperation. Being so blatant almost made her feel ashamed, but she didn't because she felt Harry's palm wrap over her crotch. In response to his touch, she moaned into his mouth, and he moaned back, surprised at how her moisture had soaked through her panties. “Teach me.” He asked, softly. “I want to learn. I- um, want to make you go to sleep happy.”
“That’s so nice, Harry, really. I, um-” She smiled while wiping the tears forming in her eyes. “I’m already happy.” She didn’t know what was making her so overwhelmed with joy all of sudden. She’d always known Harry was boyfriend material, but it was still nice to see how much he gave thought to her needs and happiness. And she was happy. So, so happy to finally have him like this, all to herself. “Do you want me to show you how to touch?”
“Yes please. To make you feel good.”
“Okay.” She placed her hand on top of his. “Here,” she explained once she’d guided his fingers to the spot of her panties right above her clit. “Circular motions with your fingers feel really nice, so does pressure. You don't have to focus on just that spot though… the nicest feeling is when you rub there but also all over.” She glanced at him, then bit her lip and asked, “Wanna try?”
“Yeah, alright.” Harry responded, adjusting his position slightly so that Y/N could get more comfortable. They decided to have her sit between his legs, facing away from him since that would make it easier for her to lead him. Once they’d both settled, Harry began to touch her in the way she had showed him, moving his hand broadly enough to reach a little bit everywhere in between her legs. “Am I doing it right?”
“Mm-hmm, you're doing really good.” Y/N was still holding his hand while he touched her, and she was fascinated by the size difference between their hands. “Your hands are really big, which... makes it feel extra good.”
“Really? That’s nice. I'm definitely grateful for that.” He said while looking down as well. “Should I put more pressure, or is it okay as it is?”
“It’s fine but I wouldn’t mind a little more...” She could tell he was afraid of hurting her, and that’s why he was being so careful and gentle in his touching. She wasn’t planning on rushing him or constantly give him directions though, so instead she simply relaxed against his chest and let him probe at his own pace. Because, after all, even though he was playing safe, she was still thoroughly enjoying herself.
It took Harry a few minutes to figure out how much pressure and speed he should be using, but eventually he pressed and swirled his fingers around her sensitive nub in a way that felt just right. When Y/N’s breath faltered he glanced at her worriedly, what made her chuckle. “No, don't worry. You didn't hurt me. Keep going like that.”
Harry smiled at that. He’d had a feeling he was starting to get the hang of it due to the way Y/N’s breathing had become more erratic and she'd begun to quiver against him on occasion but hearing it from her mouth that he was doing a good job was much, much better. He was really looking forward to making her cum. She looked so good like this, flushed and a little out of breath. She'd been staring at his face a lot from over her shoulder in the last couple of minutes, biting her lip and letting out little gasps of pleasure to let him know he was making her feel good.
“Like that. Don’t stop.” Those quiet, whispered words snapped him out of his reverie. He knew what they meant, even before she told him, “I’m really, really close.”
He'd learnt from a meme he saw once that when girls said that, boys weren't meant to speed up or change what they were doing in the slightest. So he merely focused on adding a bit more pressure, since that was something he knew she liked, and trying to keep his hand's tempo.
Despite how hot he found it, Harry wasn't very comfortable with dirty talk, but seeing her like this and recalling the perfect, filthy words she'd said to him just before making him cum, he felt compelled to give it a shot. “I can feel how wet your panties are, it’s so hot.” He whispered into her hair. “I can smell it too and it makes me want to eat you so bad. I've never done it before, but I can't stop thinking about doing it to you.” Rather than trying to sound hot, he was simply stating facts about how she was making him feel, and somehow it was working. “I wanna make you cum like this first though. From rubbing it this way, like you taught me to.”
Harry's words, paired with the precise movements of his fingertips around her pussy got Y/N right at the edge. She trembled, clutched his wrist, and strained to keep her legs open.
“Please, please, please...” She started begging out loud right before the warm pleasure bubble on her belly popped, so Harry did the same thing she’d done to him and muffled her by putting his free hand over her mouth.
He hadn't anticipated being able to feel when a girl orgasmed, but he was. He could feel the strong pulse under his fingers as soon as Y/N started to cum, and it was one of the hottest things he’d ever experienced. He could also feel the damp spot on her panties becoming even wetter as he rubbed her through it and God, the smell… it was making his mouth water.
If she didn’t look so exhausted, Harry would have begged her to let him take off her panties and lick her clean, but those puffy, glossy eyes didn't permit his mind to stray any further. If there was one thing Harry understood about Y/N, it was how she looked just before falling asleep, and that was exactly how she was getting.
So he helped her into bed and laid down beside her, but his heart wouldn't let him fall asleep before he asked, “You’re staying for the entire weekend, right?” and his ears picked up a faint “M-hm” in return.
This was going to be the best weekend ever.
**
#harry styles smut#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles fic#harry styles writing#harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles x yn#harry styles one shot#harry styles fanfic#nerd!harry#sub!harry#harry styles x you#purplekiwis#kissable
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Remember | Finnick Odair x Reader
THG Masterlist / Taglist / Inbox
Summary: The capitol has taken you from him, but he won't let them keep you. You can find pt. 2 here!
Content Warnings/Tags: Violence, bullet wounds, major character injury, blood, needles, angst, fluff, no use of y/n
Word Count: 4.0k
Requested by Anon: omg I love your writing and I have an unhealthy addiction to reading angst so could you please write something about the reader being with peeta and Johanna when they where taken by the capital and her being with finnick and recovering while she’s in district 13? 🫶🫶
A/N: The way I smiled when I saw this request I swear. This one has been in the works for a little while and I thought it fit perfectly. It is angst you ask for and it is angst you shall get. I'm considering writing a part two but I'm not sure how to yet. My bad habit of not proofreading happened again and with this one especially it was way too long so if I made any major errors pls do let me know.
The Capitol.
You are currently in the Capitol.
At least that’s where you think you are. You remember being in the arena, you remember running towards the general direction you last saw Finnick, remembering the marks you had gone by in case you had to take a different route. You remember seeing Finnick's face through the plantation, you’d be able to recall those features anywhere. You remember something hitting you from behind and falling to the ground, too caught up in catching up with him to check your surroundings. You remember crying out in pain, hoping he’d hear you. But the next thing you remember is the vision of him slowly going out of focus and losing consciousness not long after.
At least that's what you think happened.
At least you can still remember, that’s worth something right? You remember your past, and you remember the reaping that led to the arena. The flood of relief that went over you as you finally found your way back to him. You don’t know what happened to Finnick, he was there too after all, but you had needed to split up early. Maybe he had been caught off guard too. Maybe he escaped. Maybe they never even found him. Maybe with him being the idiot he could be, he was probably already on his way here, looking for you. Just like you would have done for him, and he would have called you an idiot then too.
You would get out of here one way or another, that much you knew, but you needed to remember more, you needed to remember the last look on his face, you hadn't had much time to take it in, but you remembered the furrow of his eyebrows, the same expression he always had when he was trying to concentrate, you needed to remember that.
You knew that once you did get out of here, Finnick would be furious, telling you that you had been reckless, that you shouldn't have let your guard down, shortly after telling you how worried he had been. And it would feel like coming home.
Your mind becomes hazier, and it is harder to remember. You feel your head throbbing, and you move your hand towards it until you feel it can move no further. You open your eyes slowly, trying to adjust to the bright light that covers the room. You can't see much, can't move your head much.
You remember the rendezvous point you had talked about. You remember the quick “don't get yourself in trouble” and the kiss he gave you right before you parted ways.
You remember the layers of plants and trees you moved through, seeing some of them cut down, letting you know someone else had been there
But you know there is more, more that you missed. The stomped-out ashes that you ran past, you know you should have paid closer attention. But you can’t remember
You need to remember what happened. How you got here. Who got you here. If you really are in the capitol. But your mind doesn't want to cooperate anymore. The room is getting darker and darker, even though the lamp above your head is still dutifully buzzing
You wake up, you still remember where you are, or at least where you think you are. You still remember yesterday, was it yesterday? Why couldn't they just hang a clock in here?
You look up, and you see a device set up, not too far from where you're lying down. You try to get a better look but the light above your head is too blinding to see anything else in the room. You don’t fully understand it until a man walks into the room with a video camera in his hand and an expression on his face that seems just a tad too happy.
The camera starts blinking a red light, signalling you that it has started recording. The man has a sort of laser that he presses into your lower stomach, it doesn't breach your skin but it hurts like it does. It takes all your energy not to show him the satisfaction of it.
“Come on now darling, work with me a little.” He says after a while, changing the setting on the laser. The last bit of your energy is gone, and you can't keep the screaming from escaping any longer. It echoes off the white walls around you and when you hear yourself, you barely even recognize it. He seems satisfied with the result and finally puts the laser down. You look down but don't see any burn marks or indication of what has just happened.
He comes closer and you can see he is holding a sort of crowbar, but you're not sure why. You remember how you always left one outside your window in the districts, in case the wind had shut it and you needed to sneak back in. You remember Finnick finding out, giving you a serious, disappointed look, but not telling you to stop.
Before you can think of anything else, the bar hits you with full force, right above the spot he was previously focused on. You didn't expect it, and it knocks the little breath you had left out of your lungs. He hits again, not in the same spot, but close, he is very clearly aiming for your ribs. The switching between high-tech and old-school weapons has you puzzled, but you can't deny the result either of them has.
After a while, he stops, and with the added difficulty and pain that now comes with breathing, you are more than certain he just bruised a few of your ribs.
He walks back, taking the camera in his hands. He aims it at your face and you close your eyes to try and collect yourself as much as your current state allows. Your hair is a tangled mess and you are rather certain there is blood smushed over your face from the cuts you got in the arena.
“Smile for the camera sweetheart.” He asks, even though it sounds more like an order than a request. You open your eyes to look at him. He is so close, and you want to drive your thumbs so far into his eye sockets you can feel the front lobe of his brain, if he even has one. But you can't do anything, no matter how much you want to fight, you are powerless here. You close your eyes again, trying to block everything out and remember.
You remember District Four, the way the light summer breeze would always carry the smell of the beach to your house, no matter how hard you had it, it always livened you up. You remember the first time Finnick tried to teach you how to surf, being so gentle with you no matter how many times you fell off it, always there to catch you again. You remember your last birthday, well, the day after, but you couldn't even complain about that. He had picked you up from your place and brought you to one of the lakes with him. He told you the story of one of his birthdays when he was younger, along with all the embarrassing details, but of course, it only endeared him further to you. You told him about the presents you got and all the people who came to wish you a happy birthday. You told him everything you could remember. You remember last seeing his face, maybe it was the last time you will have ever seen it. No. No, you remember it, but you’ll see it again, you have to.
“I’ll make sure your loverboy gets to see this, wherever he is, wouldn't want him to miss out on the fun.”
Finn. Finnick. You remember Finnick. You remember when you returned from your first games. The black eye and broken arm you came home with. You remember how he lost it when they didn't immediately treat you for it. He would now either throw a fit over it for everyone to see or be so stoic in his thoughts even Johanna would get a little concerned.
You see the man standing up, walking to the table, and picking up something new. A syringe, it's a syringe. He walks over and pushes it into your upper arm, and before you know it, your vision turns black again.
You remember waking up to gunshots, and you panic. But after a few seconds, you figure out they’re not near you. There is, however, someone in the room with you, it's the same man again. He looks a little panicked, but you can’t figure out why just yet. The gunshots are becoming louder, and closer, and he seems more startled now. His arms drop to his sides from what he was doing and his eyes widen. Screams are echoing and you can hear footsteps.
You remember that pattern of paddling feet, and you recognize the second pair of steps too, but you can't remember much else.
The man gets closer to you, placing his hand over your mouth, pulling out a gun with his free hand and telling you to stay quiet. You never understood why people say that, it means he has something to lose, and you want to scream out, but your voice doesn't remember how to.
It's even closer now, right outside the door, and you can hear talking. You remember his voice. How he always asked you so sweetly how your day had been, the way he whispered sweet nothings in your ear as you fell asleep.
You hear the door jiggle, and it makes you want to scream out for him, but your sore throat won't let you. For a moment you think that is it, you had your chance, and you let it go by. He’ll move along the hallway to the other doors and leave you here. But then you hear another gunshot, and they must have shot the lock, because right after you hear someone running into the door with an echoing thump as it breaks open.
The man next to you had his gun pointed at the door, and he changes it to point at you instead.
You were right, by the gods you had never been so thankful to have been right. Finnick walks in, and you can see the colour drain from his face as he does so.
The man standing next to you is starting to get nervous, you can see the sweat starting to drip down his face. He must realize he has been matched, because there are more people by Finnicks side. But the man still has his gun pointed at you, and this isn't over just yet.
You can't keep your eyes open anymore, and when you close them, you remember. You remember your first kiss with Finnick, how nervous he had been at the time. He had been shaking a little and told you he was embarrassed by how much you got to him, but it only endeared him further to you. He yells at the man to let go of the gun, he sounds nervous again.
But he doesn't let go, he decides to shoot.
You hear the bullet leaving the gun, and for a single moment, you think it's over. The last thing you’ll ever see is Finnick, but he’s not himself. He’s upset, and even though you know he’s not upset with you, it still tugs at you. Except when you feel the bullet piercing through your skin, that's exactly what you realise. You can still feel it. He didn't shoot you right in the heart, he didn't shoot towards your head, he shot you in the abdomen. You’re not sure why, not sure why he didn't kill you, but you will never know, because not even a second passes as you hear a second gunshot, and he falls to the floor.
You can't seem to remember how to open your eyes, but you can hear Finnick rushing over and right as he reaches you, you fall. You fall into his arms and the memory of it gives you hope. Something comes in contact with your stomach, and the agony of it makes you want to scream out. You can feel him lifting you, and the shift of your body makes the bullet move, making you want to scream again. And if you remembered how to, you would have.
You know he’s talking to someone, but it sounds more like buzzing to you. You can only make out certain parts of the conversation, something about needing to leave, something about infections, and something about an aircraft.
You can hear him talking again, and this time it’s directed at you. There’s a strain in his voice, and it sounds like he’s crying. It makes you want to comfort him, but you don’t remember how to.
“Please darling, just open your eyes."
But you’re afraid, youre afraid that if you open them, everything will turn out to be nothing but a dream, and he won’t be here anymore. But even if this is a dream, you need to see him. Even if it will turn into a haunted memory, you need to see his eyes looking back at you. It takes you some effort, but you open your eyes, looking at him. You can see tears flooding his face, you can see his lips moving, silent pleas coming from them for you to stay awake. He’s telling you how good of a job you’re doing, he's telling you to hold on. He promises that he won’t let anything bad happen to you ever again and that he won’t let go of you anymore.
You remember how he cried when you were reaped for the 75th games, and how you had told him everything would be okay, how you had comforted him, but you don't have the energy to comfort him this time. You remember hearing his sobbing, his shaking voice when you close your eyes again, not being able to keep them open any longer, even if you wanted to.
You wake up again, and for a moment you think it had indeed all been a dream, that you were right back where you had started, But then you remember the bullet in your stomach. You look down and see a bandage over it, even though it’s already soaked in blood. They must have taken it out.
You try and concentrate, and you can hear Finnick talking to someone. “Just tell me, I know it’s bad but I need to know.” “Finnick, it won’t make a difference.” The person he’s talking to sounds desperate, and you remember how stubborn he could be when it came to you.
But you don’t remember more, because your head starts to feel light again and you give in to the feeling.
When you wake up again, you manage to open your eyes, and you can see someone sitting in a chair next to the bed you're in. He’s slumped over, his face half pressed into the mattress and half into your stomach, both of his hands are holding onto one of yours. It hurts a little, but you don't mind, because it reminds you, even when you look away, that he is still there. You remember the way he always softly snores, and the way he wiggles his nose when your hair falls over it.
You think you're connected to a monitor, because something is beeping in the same rhythm you can feel your heart beating, and it gives you a headache. So you close your eyes again, and once again, you give in to the feeling of sleep that looms over you.
Since you had been brought to District 13, he has barely left your side. He keeps putting cold washcloths on your forehead to try and break your fever. It won't help, and he knows it, but no one has the heart to stop him.
You haven't shown a single sign of life since they had found you. It was unsettling, the silence that filled the room, none of your usual laughter and banter there to replace it.
It’s only when Finnick's head shoots up that the others notice it as well. The steady beeping that has been imposing the silence in this room for weeks picking up its pace. The beating continues to go faster and faster, your body shaking up from the bed in almost the same rhythm. But right before anyone can do anything about it, it stops. It all seems to stop, you stop moving, and the monitor stops beating.
He starts giving you chest compressions, and someone rushes into the room holding a small bottle, they fill a syringe with the clear liquid and inject it into your arm. Within a few seconds, your heart starts beating again. But it’s only after a minute of the monitor showing him a steady heartrate that he stops his actions.
It’s dark in the room when Finnick wakes up, and if it wasn't for the soft light and the beeping of the monitor, he would've thought he was dreaming, but it seems the reality won’t let him escape. He struggles not to fall back asleep, and every few minutes he does, but every time he wakes up startled again, scared that you’ll be gone if he doesn't open his eyes every once in a while. It was easy to see the toll it had taken on him. His posture was slouched, his face less well-groomed than usual. But no one could blame him, because they could see the way he looked at you, as if you were the sun and your dimmed light turned his world dark.
He knows the chance you can hear him is small, but he feels the urge to talk to you nonetheless.
“I don't think I can hold this in any longer. I remember some studies that have shown people in comas do hear what's going on around them, but maybe it’s for the best that you don’t, because you would never say yes.”
He continues but he feels his voice choke up, and he runs a hand through your hair to calm himself down, his other hand still holding onto yours.
“We talked about it once, I still remember every single word you said. You came at me with all your logical reasons for why it would be a bad idea. But what you never understood is that when it comes to you, I'm not able to think rationally, because my love for you will overpower anything else.” He chuckles softly as he recalls the memory he’s about to tell you next.
“I remember when I opened up to you for the first time. I had always held things to myself, but you were so calm as I talked to you. I thought for sure I had screwed it up somehow then. Everyone always tells me now how happy you make me, and they're right. Ever since you came into my life there has not been a single moment when the thought of you did not bring me joy, even when we fought my memories of you could still somehow bring a smile to my face.
I remember when they showed me the video, they hadn't wanted me to see it, but you know how stubborn I can be when it comes to you. I saw you, I saw the way in which they were hurting you. And I started yelling, ironically enough in that moment, you were the only one that could have calmed me down. I remember yelling at them, fighting with them not to wait any longer, that they couldn't let you wait any longer, they had to have me sedating until they came to a conclusion."
He reaches into the pocket of his trousers, taking a small ring. It was his mother's ring, he had found it a while back and had carried it with him ever since. He had thought of moments to give it to you, but every time there was one, every time he was about to ask you, something had happened, something had interrupted him. But there was no one interrupting him this time. “I have thought about asking you this every time I see you, and I can't hold it in any longer. So when you wake up, not if you wake up, because I know you will. I know you will wake up because you have to. So when you wake up, will you marry me.” A little part of him had thought you'd wake up, that you’d answer him. Even if you said no, it would still be better than what's happening right now, because he didn't care if you'd say no, if you’d say you weren't ready, because nothing could be worse than the silence that followed him. And so he slid the ring onto your finger delicately, as if you were to disappear if he wasn't careful. He put the ring on your hand because he knew that even if it wasn't today, and it wasn't tomorrow, someday you would marry him, and he wouldn't let you slip away.
At first, he thought he was imagining it, sleep deprivation and desperation playing a trick on his mind. But then he saw it again, in the beams of morning light he could see your hand moving, as if it was trying to grasp onto something, trying to pull you back into this world. It woke him up in an instant. But it was all followed so fast, the way your eyes slowly opened, squinting at the light. Before you had even awoken for a second, he moved from where he had been right beside you in order to hug you. And he was about to get lost in the thought of your moving lips, tears falling down his eyes, about to get lost in a kiss full of built-up pain and desperation when he noticed, something was wrong. Your eyebrows were knitted together and the corners of your mouth turned down just a little. He looked at your expression, your body language, something was wrong. You looked vulnerable, you looked like you wanted to protect yourself from someone.
It was only when he looked into your eyes that he truly understood something was very wrong.
Your eyes looked as if you were in pain, but it wasn't a look of any physical pain, it looked as if something was endangering you, but he couldn't understand what it was. He slowly moved so as not to startle you and asked you “Darling, what’s wrong” And at first you didn’t respond, but when he kept looking at you, expecting him to answer you, you started to speak. “Am I supposed to remember you?”
He immediately flinched back at the statement, his shoulder sunk and his eyes dimmed. Someone told him it wasn't uncommon for brain injuries to cause short-term memory loss after a coma.
So slowly, and surely, he made it work. But it was crumbling him down every time you didn't remember the unconscious acts of affection, so foreign to you now. A quick touch on your arm as he walked towards you made you flinch slightly as if his hand had been on fire. The subtle smiles he gave you when entering a room were now met with you looking down. The way that even though you were physically here, you really weren't.
He promised himself, he vowed to himself that he would make you remember. That no matter how long it took, he would wait for you. He would wait for you to remember, make you remember. Because he had very quickly learned that he couldn’t live without you anymore.
Part 2: Trying to Forget
#finnick odair x reader#finnick odair x y/n#finnick odair x you#finnick odair angst#finnick odair fluff#finnick odair fic#finnick odair fanfic#angst#fluff#fanfic#fanfiction#fic#finnick#finnick odair#finnick x you#finnick x y/n#finnick fanfic#hunger games finnick#the hunger games finnick#thg finnick#finnick x reader#finnick imagine#finnick odair fanfiction#the hunger games fanfiction#thg series#hunger games fic#the hunger games fluff#the hunger games angst#the hunger games#hunger games
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JEALOUSY, JEALOUSY - ( c.s )
REQUESTED HERE**
summary- you and chris have been broken up for a few weeks when you run into each other at a party. emotions run high, and you’re both overwhelmed by jealousy as you navigate being newly single.
warnings- smut, angst with no resolution! don’t come looking for a happy ending
ex!chris x fem!reader
a/n: this one hurt but i’m hoping it fulfills your requests!! enjoy xoxoxo and as always my inbox is open for whatever
what people don’t tell you about breaking up with your boyfriend is that every single outing afterwards has the potential to turn sour within a second. unfortunately, tonight is proving to be one of those times.
your friends decided to drag you to a pool party in the hills, thrown by a rather charming trust fund baby who happens to be a mutual acquaintance of the group. you hadn’t left your apartment in a questionable amount of time, so an intervention was necessary.
at first everything was fine; drinks were flowing, guys were hitting on you, and the pain was temporarily numbed. the least you could do was pretend to enjoy your newfound freedom for an hour or so.
but then you spot him; he’s standing by the decorated bar, drink in one hand and a pretty girl on his other arm. he looks as good as ever, long hair tousled to perfection, dressed in a simple black muscle tee and patterned trunks.
both your heart and your feet stop dead in their tracks. it’s been a few weeks since you called it quits, and you’d been able to avoid seeing him until this very moment. every kiss, every happy memory, and every argument—especially your very last—comes flooding right back.
watching him interact with another girl only makes it ten times more hurtful. you’re about to turn and run when his eyes meet yours, and he looks just as shocked as you feel.
it’s clear neither of you were expecting the other to be here, and you’re not quite sure what the protocol is for this situation. all you’re currently thinking is that you want to walk over there and rip that stupid bitch off of him, and you’re pretty sure he can tell.
one of his eyebrows raises, almost on instinct. he can see that you’re jealous, and you can see that he knows this fact. you’re embarrassed for a moment until you realize he’s taunting you, hand sliding down to the mystery girl’s ass as they talk amongst their circle.
then true anger rears its ugly head, a painful kind of anger like your nerves have been set on fire. who the fuck does he think he is, playing stupid games with you?
he should know that all he’ll win is stupid prizes. he’s just as greedy as you are, and seeing you with anyone else would piss him right off.
and it would also absolutely serve him right.
you straighten up, looking around for the cute boy—josh, if you remember correctly—who had approached you earlier to compliment your bikini. your eyes narrow in on him, sat by the edge of the pool with some of his buddies. the perfect target.
you’re not sure if it’s the alcohol or the wound in your heart inspiring you, but it doesn’t matter.
you don’t look back at chris. instead, you beeline toward the water, not hesitating to interrupt their chat as you tap on his shoulder. josh looks up with a huff, seemingly a bit annoyed until he realizes who it is.
his face softens immediately, squinting up at you like you’re suddenly the only thing he’s interested in. “oh, hey there.”
you smile, trying to be as enchanting as possible as you offer him your hand. “hello again. wanna dance?”
his friends are barely able to contain their excitement, and he nods eagerly in response to your question. his large palm slips into yours and you help him up, tugging him closer to the horde of people already swaying to the music.
you can physically feel chris’s eyes following the two of you through the crowd, which inflates your ego massively. you have no idea where your friends are, but right now you’re so riled up that you’re only focused on payback.
you turn your back to josh, allowing him to loosely hold your hips against his own. you move together well, and as nice as it is, all you can think about it chris. you dare to look over, and as expected, he’s glaring at you with the fire of a thousand suns.
you don’t want to smirk, but you feel one take over your face anyways. all he’s seeing is red; it doesn’t matter that you’re broken up, you shouldn’t be dancing with anyone like that unless it’s him.
he wasn’t the one that initiated that talk anyways. you had, because the strain of him being at such a busy point in his life was just too much. he didn’t fight it; he saw how unhappy you were because he was so focused on his next career moves, that facetimes had turned to texts and that your schedules never seemed to line up anymore.
you’re just as ambitious, zeroed in on your last year of school and working hard to finance that dream. it used to be easier, but then a lot more outside stress began tearing you apart.
that doesn’t mean you’re not the right person for him. chris already knows that you are, it’s just clearly not the right time. and it breaks his heart, but he can’t give you what you deserve right now.
this guy is no prince charming, though, and it’s pissing him off.
your head tilts as josh’s mouth ghosts over your neck, your lips parting slightly, and that’s when chris feels himself explode. the girl that was hanging around him doesn’t matter. in fact, he doesn’t excuse himself at all; he just sets his drink down on the bar and turns back to you.
he moves quickly, shifting by a few other people so that he can break this shit up. you pull away from josh before he even reaches you, but when he does his hand grips your wrist harshly.
“hey, man, what the—”
“she doesn’t want you.” chris calls over his shoulder as he pulls you away, and you know that everybody is watching.
you give josh an apologetic glance, because you do feel kind of bad, but chris is also yanking you along with such a force that you’re actually tripping over your feet. you try to catch up, but you look silly fumbling along behind him.
“slow the fuck down, jesus.” you try to tug him back, but he keeps his pace the same.
“no.” he says it in a harsh tone, though he slides his hand down to hold yours.
it surprises you a bit, but you don’t read into it too much. he’s still obviously pissed, dragging you past various crowds until you finally reach the house. there’s far less people inside, but neither of you are really paying attention to them.
“where are we going?” you ask as he leads you up the stairs, though you’re not doing much to resist.
“to talk.” he replies bluntly, as if it’s that simple.
you scoff, mainly to yourself, which is cut off when you reach the second floor and chris jerks you into a bathroom. he finally lets go of you, using one hand to slam the light switch on and the other to close and lock the door.
you’re backed up against the counter when he shifts around again, breathing heavily as he stands over you. you haven’t been this close together in quite some time, and it’s making your heart race out of control.
his dark eyes observe you for a second before he finally speaks. “you know i don’t like being teased, sweetheart. so who was that guy?”
you roll your eyes. “i don’t owe you an explanation. in case you forgot, we’re not together anymore.”
chris puts his palms down on the counter, boxing you in so that his face is only a few inches from yours. his cologne smells so familiar and so enticing, and you can’t help but gravitate a little closer even though you’re infuriated.
“doesn’t change the fact that i don’t want to see some fucking loser with his hands all over you.” he grumbles, and you can practically feel the steam coming out of your ears.
how much more hypocritical can he get?
you jab a finger into his chest harshly. “you think i wanted to see you playing grab-ass with a random girl? because news flash chris—i didn’t. you don't have the right to be all pissy just because i reacted to you being a dick.”
one of his hands goes to grip your throat impulsively, squeezing just enough to let you know that you’re frustrating him. you hate that it makes you throb, being so completely under his control.
you’ve never seen him this angry before, but in some odd way it makes you feel valid in regards to your own emotions.
“you better watch your goddamn mouth, or i’m gonna have to put it to good use.” chris spits bitterly, tilting your head slightly so that you’re forced to look in his eyes.
“oh, just shut the fuck up.” you sigh, leaning the rest of the way so that your lips crash together.
you’re not sure why you did it, but being so close without any real contact was driving you even crazier than his sanctimoniousness. and it feels incredible, his mouth devouring yours like it’s the first time.
your tongues slide together as if you’re the only thing he wants to taste ever again. and it’s true; he’s obsessed with savoring every inch of you, especially now that he’s not sure when the opportunity will present itself again.
you bite down on his lip, not caring enough to be gentle because you’re still annoyed. he groans as you let go, already hard as he slides his hands down to grip your ass so that he can hold you against him.
“you were mad that it wasn’t you, huh? that i wasn’t touching you in the middle of the party?” he says against your jaw as he leaves open-mouthed kisses along it.
it feels like he’s burning every place he touches. you can’t stand the fire, how fucking cocky he sounds, and yet you can’t get enough.
“yeah and you wished it was me in your arms instead, sweetheart.” you mock him breathlessly, tangling you fingers in his roots because you know he likes it.
you feel him clamp down on your neck lightly and you moan, rocking your hips against his in response. chris smirks, sucking the skin into his mouth a bit so it’ll bruise. the possessive part of him needs to leave a mark.
you've been driving him crazy in that little fucking bikini, covered only by a short white skirt. it’s so thin that it doesn’t hide anything anyways, so he yanks it up your hips desperately.
chris doesn’t want to wait anymore. all he’s done is think about this moment for the past three weeks, all he’s done is miss you.
“of course i did, you fucking know that. so are you gonna be good for me, or are we gonna do it the hard way?” he asks, even though it’s more like a growl.
his hand slips underneath your bathing suit bottoms, trailing downward slowly until his fingers ghost over you slick center. your breathing hitches as your nails slide to rake at his back, rutting upwards to try and feel more friction.
“fuck me like you mean it and we won’t have a problem.” you try to keep your voice steady, but he starts to apply more pressure to your clit, slowly circling it in a way that makes you slur your words toward the end.
“don’t have to tell me twice.”
you shouldn’t be this wet for him already, but you are. you feel him start to tease your entrance, his other palm kneading one of your breasts roughly. you whimper as he fully slides two fingers inside your warm cunt, recapturing your mouth with his own to quiet you down.
the music continues to thump from the floor below, and you’re pretty sure no one can hear you, though you both know you need to be quick.
the pressure is perfect, and you missed the way he feels all over you. he’s squeezing your hard nipples through your bikini top, thumb ghosting over your lower sensitive bud as he works you with his hand.
“more, chris, hurry up.” you beg with your forehead pressed against his, trying to tug at his board shorts even though you’re becoming weak in the knees as he curls his fingers.
he retracts them right then, and even though you immediately miss the tension you can’t wait for what’s to come. chris turns his focus towards shoving his trunks out of the way so that his erection can bounce free, and your hand instinctively goes to stroke him.
he cuts you off before you can, grabbing your wrist and spinning you around so quickly that you have to steady yourself by pressing your palms flat on the counter. he forces you to bend a bit more, ensuring that your ass pokes out as he caresses the curve of your hips.
“you’ve always been quite the brat.” chris shakes his head once, slapping his hand down against the side of your flesh playfully.
you let out a small whine, backing up further so that your wet core comes in contact with his shaft. he curses, wrapping a hand in your hair as the other grips your side.
“see? so impatient.” he chides before swiftly lining up with your entrance and ramming his cock inside you without warning.
you both moan, long and loud as he stretches you out. chris swears to god that you’re made for him, that nobody else will ever make him feel this euphoric. your back arches as he sets a fast pace, dragging your hips back so that your skin slaps together.
“fuck, you feel so—mmmn.” you groan as he trails his hand down the center of your stomach, roaming towards your puffy clit again.
you feel yourself shudder slightly, completely overwhelmed by the incredible amount of stimulation. you’re forced to stare at your reflection as chris holds your weak head up, your eyes tearing up a bit.
“tell me i’m the fucking best, baby.” he leans down to purr in your ear, snapping his hips so that he hits the perfect spot deep inside.
“you’re the fucking best.” you tell him truthfully, leaning into the momentum so that he bottoms out inside of you during every stroke.
chris admires all of it; the way your ass bounces when you come in contact with the top of his thighs, the feeling of your hair in his palm, the lewd expression of your face in the mirror.
he can feel your walls squeezing around him, and he chokes on another moan as he drills into you. you’re both nearly ready to explode, and the added pressure of his hand between your legs helps build the wave.
“m’close—shittt, keep going.” you demand in between your heavy pants.
“taking my dick so well, princess. wanna see you cum all over me.” chris pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to stave off the familiar feeling of his orgasm closing in on him.
his strokes grow sloppier, though he tries his best to keep his pace as you praise him through your teeth. the band in the pit of your stomach is about to break, and it’s so hard to stay standing as you begin to tremble harder.
“oh my god, chris—!” you cry out, muscles tense and eyes screwed shut as you ride out the high.
“fuck yes.” he chants back.
his dick twitches, and he’s unable to hold it back any longer as you finish together. chris slows to a stop and you both shake slightly against each other, which allows him a moment to enjoy being inside of you before pulling out.
you don’t even have a second to think about what comes next before he reaches for the toilet paper to help clean you up. its habit now; he’s always loved caring for you, but he feels even more compelled now that you’re not together.
“i’ve got it.” you mumble quietly, still trying to find a way to speak up.
“let me help—” chris continues on regardless.
suddenly everything is too much, and you know you’re becoming overstimulated in an entirely different way. it feels so familiar, so domestic, and it rips through you like a bullet.
“no! i mean, just…just stop.” you snap, pushing him away so that you can do it yourself.
he puts his hands up, clearly confused by the sudden change in the atmosphere. you can’t blame him, considering you’d gotten just as caught up in the moment as he had.
“what’s wrong?” chris asks, though he’s scared to hear the answer.
“nothing,” you lie, twisting your bottoms back into place so that you can pull your skirt up, “but we shouldn’t have done that.”
he scoffs as he also gets re-dressed. “you didn’t seem to think that five minutes ago when you initiated it.”
you know you hurt him by saying it, but it hurts you even more because it’s the truth. you feel like an idiot for leaning into the temptation; it’s only going to make it all more complicated.
your eyes cloud with moisture as you look at him, and he eases the attitude instantly. the energy has once again shifted, and chris can visibly see the dismay written on your face.
“it was stupid because it doesn’t change anything. this still won’t work and we both know it, and it fucking sucks so much because shit like that only makes it harder to get over you.” your voice breaks pathetically, and you brush the first fallen tear from your cheek.
he takes a step forward, hands stretching out to hold either side of your head. it’s an uncontrollable reaction to seeing you cry.
and he knows it’s egocentric, but the last thing in the world he wants is for you to move on. chris can’t guarantee that you won’t if you’re not together, and he would never interfere if you found happiness elsewhere.
that doesn’t mean he can stand the thought of you finding it with anyone besides him though.
“so don’t get over me. be with me.”
a small sob passes by your lips, which are still raw from earlier. your hand quivers as you place it against his chest gently, forcing some space between you.
his arms drop back to his side in defeat, because he can tell that the physical contact is doing the exact opposite of helping.
“don’t say that. you know it’s not fair, to either of us. we’d just go around in circles, and i won’t let that happen. i won’t ruin all of the good by driving us into the ground.”
chris stills upon hearing this. he’s scared to move, scared to even breathe, because it means the moment will continue and he’ll inevitably watch you walk away.
“please, i’ll do anything. we can move in together, or plan extra trips just the two of us. i’ll…i’ll make the time, just don’t leave.” he pleads, forcibly holding himself back from reaching out for you again.
chris knows it won’t fix anything even as he says it. you’d be coming home to an empty apartment, and finding time to schedule a vacation would be nearly impossible. they’re some of the same things you’ve already talked about, it won’t stop you now.
you suck in a breath, trying to compose yourself to the best of your ability. it doesn’t really help, and you can’t meet his eye as you choke out the final sentence.
“i love you, but i have to go.”
chris feels his mouth open, but the words don’t come out. you turn on your heel without missing another beat, fumbling with the lock a bit before tearing the door open.
you finally hear his response as you go, faintly over your shoulder: it’s quiet confirmation that he loves you too.
@fawnchives @l9vesick @55sturn @luverboychris @teapartyprincess4two @pinksturniolo @mattinside @stonermattsgf @impureals @chrisactualwife @fikefries @riasturns @sofieeeeex @sturnzsun @sturniolossss @coquettecowg1rl @sturnedits
#sturniolo triplets#chris sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#fanfic#chris sturniolo x reader#chris sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo angst#chris sturniolo fanfic#chris sturniolo x you#angst with a sad ending
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Making Up For Lost Time
[Steve Rogers x Female!Reader]
Synopsis: After the loss against Thanos, you and Steve realize the value of time {GIF Credits: @captslock}.
WC: 753
Category: Slight Angst, Lime/Spice
I’ve been busy catching up on my inbox, so take this very short blurb about cherishing special moments (+ nomad Steve 🤭)
『••✎••』
Steve was on you in a second. He pushed you against the wall with such force you had no doubt it would leave bruises. His mouth found yours, and he kissed you as if his life depended on it. And technically, it did.
A month ago, Thanos had succeeded in obtaining the infinity stones. Now, the entire world was divided in half, and everyone was scrambling to find their missing half. You and Steve were no exception.
When Steve showed up at your small apartment, he didn’t wait for you to let him in. He just started banging on the door, screaming your name, desperate for you to be okay.
When you didn’t respond because you were still at the store getting groceries, he broke the door down and stormed in, fearing the worst. His consciousness was slightly tamed by the fact there wasn’t any dust around, but it didn't completely stop him from freaking out as you were still nowhere to be found.
It wasn't until he was about to tear the whole house apart that you walked in the door. You were confused and startled when you came upon your broken door and a frantic Steve running through the house, searching for you.
Your heart was beating rapidly in your chest, and it only started to slow down when Steve caught sight of you and rushed to your side. He threw your groceries on the floor and pulled you into his arms. He didn't speak a word, no matter how much you begged and pleaded with him to explain what was happening. He just held you in his strong arms and relaxed as he felt your heart beating against his chest.
Now, you both were clinging to each other, afraid the other half would suddenly disintegrate. You were straddling his hips as he pinned you against the wall. His hands were all over your body, and his mouth was sucking and biting at the sensitive skin of your neck.
The loss made you realize how much time you wasted not being with him. Every moment you’ve spent was figuring out how to keep the Avengers together. Every night you could have spent tangled in each other's limbs, you spent going over old battle plans and making new ones. Every morning you could have spent waking up next to each other, you spent training for a fight you never thought would come.
Every second you wasted not telling him how much he meant to you, every second you could have spent showing him, you wanted back because the harsh reality of it all was you didn’t know how much time you had left.
So you took what little time you had left and put everything you felt for him into a single kiss. The way his mouth felt against yours made you feel alive. You couldn’t stop your hands from running over his body, trying to memorize the curves and the muscles and every line that made up the man before you. The scars that littered his body were like brail under your fingertips, and the memories of the fights that caused them flooded your brain.
Your breathing grew heavy and ragged as his hands slipped under your shirt, his nails scratching lightly against your skin. When his fingers ran along the band of your bra, you let out a sigh. Your head fell back, hitting the wall, and as you looked up at the ceiling, you couldn’t get the appreciation that the two of you were here and whole out of your head.
Others weren’t so lucky, and that fact ate at your heart. But you didn't want to think about that right now. You wanted to focus on Steve. You wanted to focus on the way his hands felt as they traveled over your body or the way his mouth felt as it moved back up to your lips, his tongue pushing against yours.
And so, as Steve took you there against the wall, his lips making you see stars and his hands touching you everywhere, you both silently vowed never to waste a single moment again.
Call it selfish; call it whatever you want, but you were grateful that the universe showed you how important he was and that it gave you a chance to make it right because had it not, he could’ve been the pile of ash, and you would have had to live the rest of your life regretting every single moment you missed with him.
#steve rogers#steve rogers x reader#steve rogers x female!reader#steve rogers x yn#x reader#reader#fanfic#fanfiction#captain america x female!reader#captain america x reader#captain america x yn#captain america#chris evans x reader#chris evans#marvelfic#marvel x reader#marvel fanfic#mcu steve rogers#mcu#infinity war#nomad steve rogers#marvel mcu#mcu fanfiction#marvel cinematic universe#marvel#marvel fandom#bucky barnes x reader#avengers x reader#the avengers x reader#andy barber x reader
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Decadent Desires Ch 4
Emily Prentiss x reader warnings: language, alcohol, sexually charged conversations and situations, minor kinks slightly explored. Happy (early) Birthday @d33pd3sire-blog !! I hope you have a wonderful day!🩵🩵 (thank you for the kofi)
Emily was blessed with gorgeous weather when she woke up the following Friday, the sun cascading though the sky, flooding the city with the perfect warmth that would last through until the evening. She was pleasantly surprised that she was feeling considerably less nervous about tonight than she had been about your original meeting. Not that she had any better idea what she was doing or about to get herself into, but that she knew you were going to be a much better match. On top of finding you physically attractive she also enjoyed spending the evening with you, the conversation had flowed smoothly, you were smart, quick witted and there was an underlying hint of sexuality that you’d kept just beneath the first layer, ready to reveal once the discussion had finally shifted in that direction. And that was one she was more than eager to explore.
She made sure to arrive at the Conrad with more than enough time to spare, checking in and dropping off whatever she didn’t need in the suite before heading back down to the Summit. The rooftop lounge had an extensive cocktail menu, delectable food offerings and incredible views of downtown D.C. and The Capitol. She grabbed a table and ordered a glass of wine while she waited, looking through all the options on their menu.
The sound of your infectious laugh was what pulled her attention upwards a few minutes later, looking up to find you chatting with the hostess, gesturing in the direction of her table. You had a simple yet gorgeous plum cocktail dress on, the top dipping down to show more cleavage than the last time she’d seen you, the bodice nicely fitted while the skirt flared out. Your hair was loose, curled nicely and your makeup darker, more seductive as you gave her a little wave with a grin before walking over to the table.
“Hope I wasn’t keeping you.” You smiled.
“No, not at all.” She stood from the table, giving you the opportunity to take in her full outfit, form fitting dress pants and a gorgeous red blouse that showed off the curve of her chest perfectly. Her hand landed on your elbow as the two of you leant in, kissing cheeks before you slid into the other chair.
“How was the week?” You asked, picking up the cocktail menu to look through.
“Surprisingly good.” Emily replied, nearly confusing herself at the realization, “got a few of our snags figured out and the pile of papers in my inbox is finally smaller than the outbox.”
“Sounds like you need an assistant.” You teased from across the table, and she huffed a laugh.
“Unfortunately, I don’t think the bureau would like it too much if my signature was forged on everything.”
“Well at least you managed to catch a break.” You offered and she nodded.
By the time the server came by the two of you had managed to shake off any early jitters, slipping into an easy rhythm of conversation. You got a glass of sangria and Emily ordered the cheese and charcuterie plates, tempura shrimp, and scallops to share.
“So, I know you’ve been all over,” you started, taking a sip of your drink, “why choose D.C. to settle?”
“It’s a long story.” She chuckled, “but there were people I wanted to be close to, a few things to keep an eye on here. Just so happened to be close to Quantico.”
“Were you always interested in some form of law enforcement?”
“It was more about helping people, learning how to fully understand the whole psychology of it, why they do what they do. I was always interested in more than just chasing down the bad guys.”
“I’m curious then… why return to the BAU from Interpol?” You asked and Emily’s head titled.
“You know about Interpol?”
“You’re not the only one who knows how to run a background check.” You chuckled, “you may be the fed, but I still like to vet who I spend my personal time with, especially behind closed doors.”
“You’re smart.” She smiled, “I like that.”
“So?” You raised a brow, “what made Washington so much more appealing than London?”
“I missed it. That team had been my family for years and I wanted to come back to them. I knew there was a potential offer hiding in the wings that wouldn’t demote me in a sense and I wanted to help out an old friend. He only trusted me with the job, and I didn’t want the team to fall into jurisdiction of someone who wouldn’t do it justice or only wanted to disband them.”
“How’d you like Unit Chief compared to now?”
“Honestly I think I prefer it.” She laughed, “though I wouldn’t dream of stepping back down into it for the same reasons I took it in the first place.”
“Last thing you want is Bailey directly in charge of your team.” You grinned and she rolled her eyes.
“He’s got his claws deep enough in already.” She groaned.
“Too many politics involved with Section Chief I assume?” You raised a brow and she nodded, a look of near melancholy in her eyes as she switched her gaze to look out on the horizon. “You miss being out in the field, don’t you?”
“Paperwork is menial. And tedious. And so much of it seems entirely fucking pointless. When we were all mainly working from home still, it at least kept me occupied, tied to the job, like I still had a purpose. But now we’re back in the office, my team gets to run off into the face of danger and I’m stuck with the pencil pushers attending meetings that are entirely redundant. The only time I end up opening my mouth is to remind them the BAU is an integral part of the bureau, and they shouldn’t shut it down.”
“Sounds like it’s definitely about time you have yourself some fun.” You rested your chin on the back of your hand, a smirk on your lips and Emily chuckled. When she looked up at you, you could see her eyes darkening just the slightest.
“I suppose it is.”
You were interrupted before things could move further, plates of food now scattered across the table that you were both picking through, loading up your own side plates to get a little bit of everything.
“You mentioned UCONN last time.” Emily started, taking a sip of her refilled wine, “are you from Connecticut or did you just go to school there?”
“Born and raised, figured I may as well take advantage of a rent free college experience while I could.”
“Did you know Heather back then or was it just sheer coincidence?”
“Our parents ran in the same circles.” You replied with a huff, taking a bite of food and you noticed the very brief change of expression on Emily’s face before she managed to conceal it and you laughed. “Before you ask, no I’m not drowning in wealth. The Dunbar’s come from very old money and they’ve always been smart about it, they know how to invest, how to make money into even more money. I’ve never been able to understand it.”
“I assume your parents didn’t either?” She asked and you practically snorted.
“Not in the least. They liked to pretend they knew wealth, shove their way into all the fancy places and while the façade was enough to win over most people, it all came from an inheritance my mother got. Could have been worth something if my father wasn’t blowing it all away on fast cars while mother spent all of her days at the casino chain smoking, binge drinking and consistently losing.” You sighed, taking a large sip of wine, “I’m lucky there was enough left for my college education.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” You shrugged, “the discrepancies between our bank accounts doesn’t mean the Dunbar’s were better parents or anything.”
“Oh, I’ve heard.” Emily chuckled.
“What about you? Good relationship with your parents?”
“It’s… complicated.”
“So, no?” You laughed, pulling one from her.
“Mother travels a lot for work, she isn’t based here. We tried to kinda work through things when I was younger but between our careers it just never happened, and I’m fine with that. Spares me the lecture about still not being married or giving her grand kids.”
You let out a louder laugh, “why does it seem that that’s any mom’s only concern with their kid’s lives? There’s more than one way to succeed and be happy and in my opinion that’s all that really matters.”
“Exactly.” Emily smiled across at you, “there’s so much more to be concerned about.”
“Mmm!” You suddenly changed gears as you took your first bite of a scallop, “these are incredible.”
“You haven’t had them?” She raised a brow, “I assumed you’ve been here before.”
“Yeah, Conrad’s a pretty high choice of stay for any visiting politician but I’ve only ever had time for drinks. Try them.” You urged, breaking off another piece on your fork and holding it up to her, your other hand cupped underneath it so it wouldn’t drip on the table. She barely hesitated, lips wrapping around the fork as you gently pulled it out of her mouth, not even blinking before scooping up the last bite into your own mouth on the same utensil.
“Oh my god.” She mumbled over the food, “you weren’t kidding.”
“You’ll learn to trust my suggestions sooner or later, I’m sure of it.” You grinned at her across the table.
“I have no doubt, you wouldn’t guide me astray, now would you?”
“Wouldn’t dream of it.” You smirked across the table at her, and Emily felt a tingle shoot through her body.
A few minutes later the server came by to clear the dinner plates and offer a dessert menu that you turned down, feigning to the server that you’d had enough, and Emily asked for the cheque.
“Not a sweets fan?” She asked, polishing off her wine and you chuckled over the rim of your glass.
“I prefer to get my sugar a different way.”
“So you are interested in moving this upstairs?”
“Well, I sure hope so. I was bargaining on more than just dinner tonight.” Your lips turned upwards in a sly smile that Emily returned, slipping her credit card back into her wallet.
She guided you up to the ninth floor, letting you into the suite first. A small entry way opened up on the left into a large studio space, a breakfast bar splitting up the counter where the microwave and fridge were and the sitting area. A circular table with two chairs, a small sectional that faced the television and a thin divider that hid the bedroom space, the bathroom connected to that.
“Help yourself.” Emily gestured toward the bottle of wine on the breakfast bar, and you wasted no time in pulling down two glasses from a cupboard to fill up. Sliding one across the counter to her you settled in on a stool, unsurprised when she returned with a file folder in hand. “To be completely honest, I’m not even really sure how to do this part.” She let out a slightly awkward laugh and you hummed.
“Don’t overcomplicate it. Think of it as a business transaction with a little bit of negotiation.”
“I guess that’s actually a good place to start.” She took a sip of wine, “I think the first step should be letting you know that this is exactly that, a business transaction. It’s casual, and I don’t want you to think of it as an exclusive relationship. I’m busy, we’re both busy, if you happen to see someone else that’s more than okay as long as everything is done safely.”
“Understood.” You slipped a sheet of paper from your purse, sliding it across to her before resting your chin on the back of your hand. “I figured you’d want a clean bill of health.”
“Thank you.” She tucked it into the back of the folder, “I guess money would be the next step?”
“I’ll save you the headache.” You snagged the agreement from her, eyes scanning the page until you found the blank lines to be filled in about allowance and picked up a pen. “I’m also giving you one hell of a deal, considering I don’t need to do this for money my rates are extremely low.”
“Noted.” She laughed.
“Considering our schedules I’m going to veto the allowance and say we just do a price per date, there’s likely weeks we’re not going to see each other, and I want things to be fair. One hundred for casual dinner and drinks or something of the equal amount of time that’s simply companionship.” You began to scraw notes out on the agreement, “two hundred for a date night and sex. Three for anything longer than a standard date and if you drag me to any of those horrendous FBI galas, I’m tacking on another hundred.”
She barked out a laugh, “more than understandable.”
“I expect you to pick up the tabs most nights, but if there ever is a day that I plan or invite you out onto, don’t feel obligated. Then treats and gifts are obviously welcomed and encouraged but that is up to your discretion, think of them as rewards.”
“And you’re sure about those rates?”
“Considering the costs hotel rooms like this will run you? Absolutely.” You laughed softly.
“Do you have preferences when it comes to gifts?” She asked and you scrunched your nose.
“Not particularly? Gift cards and cash obviously work, I could use a few new pairs of shoes, a dress or two, jewelry’s always nice, standard date type gifts. Could definitely use some new lingerie sets, and I mean…” you glanced over to her, that sly smile back on your cheeks, “new toys are always fun.”
“I do not disagree with you there.” She grinned back, “so let’s talk sex.”
“I am curious, is this about you needing to get off, relieve some of that stress and relax for once, or will you be the one fucking me into next week.”
“Christ.” Emily muttered, the tingling in her body moving lower, surveying you with a gleam in her eye. “I was thinking a mutual benefit but to be blunt I’m the one wearing the strap more often than not and I have no qualms with fucking you into next month.”
It was your turn to feel the fire prickling under your skin, heading south as you tried not to shift too obviously in your chair, “a confident woman with a cock? I love it.”
“You won’t be disappointed.” She assured you and you huffed a small laugh.
“I’m sure I won’t.” You took another sip of wine, “so let’s talk kinks. I’ll tell you right now the hard off the table ones are piss play, scat play, major pet play, age play, I’m not really into anything involving food in the bedroom and please nothing involving feet.”
“You can count yourself safe from all of that.” Emily laughed, pulling a warm smile from you, “I personally don’t like being restrained or blindfolded, but I have no issues tying you up.”
“As long as you’re not using work issued cuffs.” You noted.
“Do I dare ask?” She raised a brow in your direction.
“I dated a local cop in college, those things hurt.”
“Oh, I know.” She laughed back, “I’m partial to silk ties, it’s nice to keep things pretty.”
“Agreed.” You smiled at her before glancing back down at the agreement, flipping through the pages and she watched as your brow furrowed.
“What?”
“There’s nothing in here about how to address you.” You looked back up at her.
“I thought we went over that last week.” She laughed, “just Emily is fine.”
“No ma’am?” You asked and she was very quick to shut you down.
“God, please no.”
“Most women like the title mistress, or mommy.”
“Oh…” Emily’s nose scrunched, “I guess I hadn’t thought about that….”
“I mean some do go with daddy if you’re more inclined.”
“Is that like, an all the time thing? Or just in the bedroom?”
“Could be either. I’ve heard of relationships where it’s constant and I do find that over the top but every once in a while in bed, it’s kinda hot. I mean after all, one really just wants to be a good girl for mommy.”
Emily paused, letting your words sink in for a moment as she tried to figure out how she felt about the whole thing, especially considering she was about to be your sugar mommy. “Let’s… bookmark it for later.” She looked up at you, catching a small nod but it was the wicked smirk on your face that caught her attention first, “what?”
“Nothing.” You shook your head, “I’m just not that surprised you might be intrigued. I heard you had quite the fun time entertaining Benjamin Reeves last month.”
“Oh god…” Muttering, she dropped her head, running her hand over her face and you let out a playful laugh.
“Walls really do talk.” You teased, flipping through the rest of the file, “speaking of…there’s no NDA in here?”
“I didn’t think it was necessary.” She shrugged, “there’s a piece near the end saying anything involving my work that comes up in conversation isn’t to be publicly aired anywhere but that’s all I really need.”
“Well,” finding the piece you scrawled your signature under it, “you don’t have to worry about me running to the press. Your secrets are safe with me.” You flipped the papers back in order and closed the file, sliding it back across the counter to Emily before scooping up your wine glass to walk around the counter. “Now… I do believe we’re done with the boring part…”
You approached her where she sat on the stool, your wine glass coming to rest on the counter only an inch from her own as her body turned toward you. Her hand found your waist, nudging you closer to her so you could slot yourself between her legs while she leant forward, her free hand brushing your hair back from your face. You could feel her breath hot on your skin, lips parting ever so slightly as you leant in, eyes flicking from her own down to her mouth, the distance about to be closed when there was a sudden, very loud, and repetitive buzzing on the counter.
Emily groaned, her eyes falling shut as her head fell back and you let out an annoyed huff.
“I swear to god if that’s fucking Heather I’m resigning.” You reached towards your phone at the same moment she did.
“Nope, it’s me.” She opened the screen, groaning again as she read the text messages, “and I have got to go.”
“Political crap or serial killer?”
“Serial killer.” She stood from the stool, her hand squeezing your wrist while she leaned, kissing your cheek quickly.
“Go save the world.” You raised your wine glass in a salute to her as she grabbed her bag from the couch.
“Please, finish the wine, feel free to stay.”
“I’ll take the bottle home.” You replied.
“I’m sorry.”
“No need.” You assured her with a soft smile, “next time.”
“Oh. Guaranteed.” She nodded, “get home safe. I’ll text you when we’re back.”
“I look forward to it.”
With another apologetic smile she was gone from the suite, leaving you to dump the remnants of her wine glass into yours, wandering up to the window to take in the city views as you finished it.
_______________
@mickey-gomez @momlifebehard @daddy-heather-dunbar @maybe-a-humanbean @rustyzebra @leftoverenvy @kades95 @dextur @supercriminalbean @emilyprentisssluvr @lex13cm @zizzlekwum @emobabeyy @riveramorylunar @scorpsik @onmykneesformarvel @inlovewithemilyprentiss @regalmilfs4me @ara-a-bird @five-bi-five-mind @inlovewithmiddleagewomen @hotchs-bitch @ollysmulti @kmc1989 @irishavengersassemble @hopedoesntknow @venromanova @waitaminuteashh @noahrex @imlike-so-gaydude @wittygutsy @cx-emerald-cx @momily @nilaues @borinxnovak @soverign @v3nusxsky @blackbird-brewster @mccdreamys-writes @l4yne @obsessedwjill @supercorpstan97 @asolitaryrose3 @honeyycatt @trauma-factory @lisqueen @mrs-prentiss @whitewinewithice
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ok hi hello i have a little bit of a switch up ask for u 👉👈 could u mayhaps do a lil oscar thing that's just stupid cute angst where the reader is having some self esteem issues and oscar notices bc he's staying with lando in monaco after the race and them + some friends are planning on going out to what happens to be readers favorite club or bar but reader isn't feeling it. oscar immediately cancels and stays at landos n just. comfort fluffy bullshit please i beg <3
also pls flood my inbox with thots/requests bc i will be flying home from seoul tomorrow and i need shit to do on the plane pls and thank u
Made it a bit smutty at the end bc that’s what I do, yanno?
Warnings: bit of angst, lil bit of fluff, smut at the end, friends to lovers type shenanigans.
You were excited at first, going out to your favorite club, with your favourite boys, in your favourite city.
You and Oscar were staying at Lando’s flat in Monaco, excitedly getting ready to go out when everything started to go wrong, bit by bit.
Your hair wasn’t laying how you liked it and it frustrated the hell out of you. It had been fine all week and now suddenly, on the night you knew there would probably be cameras around, it was being a bitch.
Then there was the outfit. Oscar had picked it out for you, and it was truly gorgeous, but you weren’t convinced you would do it justice, especially if your damn hair was going to be a catastrophe, along with your skin that had suddenly decided to become oily as fuck.
Then there was the sight of your body as you passed the mirror. It wasn’t ugly by any stretch of the imagination, but you had eaten a big meal earlier so you felt a bit bloated, your mind exaggerating the barely-there bulge that Oscar insisted nobody (including him) would notice. But you weren’t a skinny, hairless, bronze goddess of a model, like most of the women they frequented, and you knew the media would pick you to pieces if you didn’t look perfect for the cameras.
So you started to spiral, and locked yourself in the bathroom.
You had no idea how much time passed until Oscar inevitably came knocking.
“I can’t go out Oscar!” You called out in a shaky voice.
Worried, he tried to open the door and found it locked so he knocked on the door harder.
“What’s wrong, sweetheart?”
“It’s too much for me, Osc. Everything is shit! My hair is shit, my body sucks, everyone’s gonna laugh at me because I don’t fit in with you lot” Your voice cracked as tears started clouding your vision.
Oscar started panicking slightly and he tried the door again, with no luck.
“Please open the door, I'm sure everything's fine! I don’t kno-“ he was interrupted by Lando coming around the corner.
“Mate, they’re waiting for us at the club. How long you gonna be?”
“Uhhm…” Oscar said, unhelpfully.
“I’m not going Lando!” You called through the door.
Lando lifted an eyebrow at Oscar in confusion.
“You go, we’ll catch up.”
Lando nodded and sauntered off, leaving Oscar on his own in dead silence. After a while you asked, “Is he gone?” as you got up from where you’d been sitting on the floor and approached the door to listen out for any movement.
“Yeah, please open the door now, it’s just me” Oscar said softly.
You did so and he gasped at the sight of you.
“Sweatheart, you look amazing!” He took your face in his hands, thumbs wiping away the tears “Your eyes are a bit puffy, sure, but your hair looks fine! And that bangin’ bod of yours in that? I knew it would look stunning on you!” He wrapped his arms around you and you giggled wetly into his neck.
“You’re just saying that.”
“I’m really not. You look like a wet dream come true!”
“Awww, Osc. Don’t go sappy on me.”
He laughed as the hug ended, a bit too early for your liking, and you just stood there smiling at each other like idiots.
You broke the tension with a sigh and picked your phone up to check the time.
“I don’t want to go out Osc, I’m really not feeling it tonight.”
“No problem, I’ll stay in with you”
“You don’t have to-”
“But I want to”
“Osc, you got p2, you need to go out and cele-“
He didn’t let you finish as he kissed you gently to shut you up, and when you got over your initial shock, you deepened the kiss, his hand came up to cup the back of your head and the other slid around your waist, pulling you closer as the kiss got more passionate.
You separated, eventually needing air, and panted into each other’s mouths.
“That’s better than a p2, baby. I’ve waited a long time to do that.”
“I love you, Osc”
He grinned and squeezed you tightly as he kissed your forehead “God, I love you too sweetheart.”
You were both sat on the sofa, drinking a glass of probably very expensive wine you found in Lando’s pantry, still in your fancy clothes (although fancy for Oscar meant a white shirt and black jeans), chatting about how the two of you had been dancing around each other for years.
Oscar put his empty glass down on the table. “You know, just because we’re staying in doesn’t mean we can’t have some fun” His hand wandered up your arm, to your neck, tucking your hair behind your ear.
“Oh yeah? What did you have in mind then?” You asked
“Dunno” His expression remained neutral, but his voice betrayed his amusement. “We could take our clothes off and see how we go from there?”
You giggled, putting your own glass down and shuffling closer to him “Sounds like a plan.”
You all but ripped each other’s clothes off in your haste to get naked. He gently prised your legs apart as he sucked two of his fingers into his mouth, getting them wet before testing the waters and sinking one inside you.
You both groaned, you because he could reach deeper than you ever could on your own, him because you were so hot and wet and tight.
It didn’t take long to get to three fingers, stretching you out before he withdrew completely and lined himself up, rubbing his cock through your folds a few times to get it nice and wet.
When he slid into you, it felt like coming home after a long day, like this is where he belonged. He stayed like that for a minute, hips still and head in the crook of your neck, as he tried to concentrate on not coming immediately.
When he was ready, he leaned up to kiss you and mumbled “I love you, so much” against your lips, before pulling out a bit and then giving an experimental thrust, which drove you both wild. He was so thick, his cock stretching you in the most delicious way, that you whined at every movement, and his hips quickly picked up speed.
You could only cling on to him as the pleasure was almost too much, your orgasm building too fast, making you tighten around his cock as he drove it deeper and deeper into you.
You tried to convey something to him, but the only thing that came out was a pathetic whimper.
He got the message anyway, a hand slinking down to rub messy circles into your clit, sending you hurtling over the edge as your vision blacked out.
“That’s it, sweetheart. Come on my cock, fuck-” and with that he reached his own end, pumping you full of him, as he gently ground his hips into yours, bringing you down slowly, the two of you in complete bliss.
Let’s just say, after that day, Lando had to replace his now stained sofa, and he never let you both stay at his place again.
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Hello! Could you write an platonic yandere father Aizawa in which her daughter is being bullied? Like one day she arrives home crying and maybe with some bruises (only if you feel comftable with it) and ask him to get transfered to another school and when he ask her why, she admits that a group of guys had been messing with her. So then he helps her with the whole situation.
Thankss
Heyyy no problem, I hope I captured what you wanted here, and I hope to see you in my inbox again soon!
TW: Yandere shit, fem reader as always, BE CAREFUL. my writing is pretty shit though but still there's murder here!
The heat of the Japanese afternoon sun was nothing in comparison to the fury in Aizawa's heart.
For when your daughter, your daughter, comes home broken and bruised, asking to never go back to school, crying out globs of tears, cheeks puffy and stinging.
The only logical solution running through your mind should be Death.
But alas, leaving a crying child with injuries in exchange for beating 8 year olds to death is frowned upon in many cultures and so,
and so,
He'll patch you up, care laced through his touch as he placed little pink bandages on your knees, letting you cry your little heart out on his shoulder as he does.
on the other side, thoughts of homicide, true homicide, the blood stain across the pavement as he tears apart their skin inch by inch, are tempting.
very tempting.
but he needs to be patient, he needs details on which little boy had the audacity not only to make his perfect sweetness of a child cry those ugly tears of agony but dare blemish her perfect skin.
how dare they.
"Kitten?"
oh don't look up at him with those pinkish eyes weary from crying, nor don't tighten your grip on his pajamas and let your lip quiver, you're breaking his heart!
"D-dad?"
Darling no! don't speak like that, don't let your once cheery voice become raspy with pain as you speak.
don't speak like that.
through a breaking heart and the fury of a bull he'll say.
"tell me, what happened?"
don't tell him, don't tell him, don't tell him the truth for their homes won't be safe tonight, don't tell him about the boy who forced you to kiss him, when you retaliated he gripped your wrist a tad bit too hard, his friends pushed you around too much, screamed in your face a little too loud.
don't tell your murderous father that some boys dared to hurt you and make you cry.
don't tell him, please.
"Kitten? tell daddy what happened?"
oh.
blood is going to be shed tonight.
you needn't worry about it though, he'll let you pick out your favorite snacks and he'll watch your favorite cartoon with you, he'll let you cuddle up in freshly heated blankets and sleep with a couple night lights on.
he'll dry your tears, dear, don't worry about it.
but in the dead of night, when you've long gone to sleep.
screams flood the empty roads.
his hands meet bloody horrors once again.
you needn't worry though.
he'll keep you safe.
#bnha x reader#bnha#bnha headcannons#bnha fluff#bnha x child reader#platonic yandere#child reader#mha aizawa#shouta aizawa#yandere aizawa#aizawa shouta#aizawa#eraserhead#shota aizawa#aizawa sensei#yandere aizawa x reader#aizawa x reader#aizawa x y/n#aizawa x you#shouta aizawa x reader#yandere aizawa shouta#bnha shouta aizawa#bnha aizawa#bnha reader insert#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#mha
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