#this is what I have done to Neil josten | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

peaceoutofthepieces · 6 months ago

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57. or 59. + 67. for Kandreil again please!! 😭🙏

i am sorry this has taken approx. two years. i sincerely hope you still enjoy

57. “Listen to me!”

59. “Don’t yell at me.”

67. “It’s you, it’s always been you.”

Being alone—truly alone—for the first time in one's life would have thrown anyone.

This is what Kevin told himself as he left. This is what Kevin told himself as he sat on the plane. This is what Kevin told himself as he stood in a bare apartment, empty but for the boxes and bags surrounding him. This is what Kevin told himself as he went to bed without another body no more than a door away for the first time in his life.

His body, exhausted enough from the travel and the private practice Kevin had put it through (he didn't yet have keys to his new court), pulled him into sleep, but it could not keep him there for long. His mind would not rest the same way.

He would like to say the buzz of his phone woke him, but he'd been awake with the sun, staring at the ceiling—white, still white, but not the right shade—and it merely drew him out of a daze. The list of people who had his number, and who used it, had grown longer in the past year, and he did not waste time going over who might be trying to reach him at this hour. Not when the majority of his contacts were in a different time-zone, anyway. In the few seconds it took him to collect his phone, though, an entire cycle of emotions raced for his attention—panic, fear, annoyance, relief.

He could not name the feeling that overtook him at the sight of Neil's name.

Part of it was—not surprise, exactly, but an unexpectedness. Neil was known for his inability to contact, purely from the disinterest he took in his phone, despite Andrew's constant warnings. He'd used it, Kevin knew, to keep an eye on Jean in the beginning, and he used it to maintain contact with his uncle, which was somewhat concerning but not Kevin's place to comment on. Then, he'd used it to keep up with the graduated Foxes, but Kevin knew Neil was never the one to initiate contact even there.

Neil did not understand the concept of casual in any sense, but when it came to texting or calling, his bafflement reached yet new heights. Kevin understood, in a way, having grown up in the Nest. Living a life on the run made traceable contact more than uninteresting—it may well have been deadly. It made sense that still, Neil only felt the need to use it in emergencies.

Which probably should have made Kevin worried. But while fear was mixed into the unnamable emotion, it was not the primary sensation.

If it was really an emergency, Kevin justified, surely Neil would have called.

The message that awaited him was far from worrying, but he couldn't deny his confusion.

Neil: You left your navy shirt with the weird horse logo. Andrew's joking about burning it.

Kevin's first instinct was to roll his eyes; trust Neil to have no lick of knowledge about branding, despite Andrew's tireless work at recreating his wardrobe. His second reaction was to frown in mild concern.

He did not overthink it. He messaged back.

Kevin: Since when does Andrew joke?

A few minutes later, his phone pinged, but it wasn't Neil.

Andrew: I'm not joking.

Kevin's phone slipped, and he gripped it tighter in sweaty fingers. If Neil was terrible at using his phone, Andrew was a hypocrite. Kevin was fairly sure the only people Andrew ever messaged were Renee, Bee, and Neil himself. He had never once messaged Kevin.

Kevin supposed they'd never needed to, before.

His phone pinged again, then again.

Neil: All the time. It was easier to tell when he was high, now it just depends on how bored he sounds and how unlikely it is he means what he's saying.

Neil: Even Nicky realised it this time.

Neil: Apparently Andrew ‘has enough taste to know better’, whatever that means. I'm guessing the shirt is expensive?

Kevin blinked.

Kevin: Is everything alright?

There was no obvious explanation for the texts. Kevin would worry Neil was dancing around something, drawing him in to ask something of him or break some terrible news, but Neil was not the type. He always had been and always would be a liar, but he was also blunt. He did not sugarcoat. There would be no reason to message Kevin such nonsense if he had something more important to say.

He waited, but this reply took longer. He was debating finally getting out of bed when it arrived.

Neil: Yep. Everything alright with you?

Oh.

Was that what this was? Checking up on him?

Kevin: Yes.

He debated with himself, then gave in to the impulse.

Kevin: I'm not used to the quiet yet.

Neil: Makes sense.

Again, Kevin waited, but there was nothing more. Kevin could not think of another response—it didn't seem necessary, and he had already embarrassed himself enough. He expected, really, for that to be the end of it.

By the time he got out of the shower, there was another message.

Andrew: Respond to Neil if you're still alive.

Kevin checked, but Neil hadn't sent him anything else in the interim. He debated responding directly to Andrew—the two lonely incoming messages looked out of place and unfinished, when he stared at their text thread too long—but decided against it. Neil was the safer option of the two.

Kevin: The shirt is expensive. If you're going to do anything with it, you should wear it. It will cover your next trip to Eden's.

This was not, however, the safest response. It was stupid at best, but now there was no way of taking it back.

He hadn't expected the distance to fuck with his head this quickly. In the past two years, he had held himself tightly in check, and would never have let such a suggestive thing slip.

Neil wouldn't pick up on it, Kevin knew. At worst, Neil would be pissed off at Kevin managing his fashion choices from a distance. He would take it as derision, or dry teasing, knowing now Kevin was capable of such a thing, but not as an invitation. Not as a hopeful suggestion; not as Kevin being just short of begging.

No, Neil would never pick up on it.

But Andrew might.

Before Kevin could spiral under the implications of this, his phone buzzed again.

Neil: Won't be the same without you.

Oh, dear. Now Kevin could spiral for an entirely new reason.

~^~

Kevin expected, after, for the texting to become more of a habit.

He wasn't expecting Neil to show up at his door with Andrew in tow.

It was mid-term, and Kevin had thought they might take an extended trip to Columbia. But there was no reason to waste two full days of their break just to get to Kevin and back.

“What are you doing here?” Kevin asked, still frozen in the doorway of his apartment.

Neil made a face at him. “Nice to see you, too. I brought your shirt.”

Kevin stared at him. He was startled all over again by how blue Neil's eyes were, now that he'd gone so long without seeing them. Neil never tried to hide them anymore. They gazed up at Kevin, clear and unflinching and beautiful. Since Neil returned to the Foxes after Baltimore, he and Kevin had never been apart long enough to go through any remarkable change without each other. Part of Kevin suggested that even now, nothing was different, but a larger part of him was reacting as if he had never seen Neil before. Perhaps that scar was lighter, or his jaw was sharper, or his hair had grown. But Kevin couldn't pin down anything, couldn't explain why Neil seemed to him, in this moment, more beautiful than ever.

Was this what loneliness had done to him?

No, Kevin thought. This is what they've always done to you.

He hadn't yet looked at Andrew.

Kevin clenched his left hand to stop its trembling. “You've come all this way to give me a shirt?”

Andrew stepped up to Neil's shoulder. “We can leave.”

It was an unmistakable challenge. Kevin's mistake was in finally giving in and meeting Andrew's gaze.

Andrew's beauty was softer than Neil's. Quieter. Neil, certainly against his best wishes, could not be overlooked. He attracted attention like a knife or a gun, harsh and deadly and surprising. Andrew did not have the same unexpected quality; he was beautiful like the night, vast and reliable and consuming, and no less lethal.

Kevin's knees threatened to buckle. He covered it by stepping back and allowing Neil and Andrew in.

Neil immediately began giving himself a tour of the apartment. Andrew dropped their bags, then planted himself in the middle of the hallway and watched Kevin, who was still hovering by the door. He had never been so unsure of himself in their presence, but it had been over a month. Here, now, with Andrew in front of him, that time felt like both a blink and an eternity. Nothing had changed. Everything was different. He could not remember. He had spent so much time feeling the absence of them, he couldn't be sure if this was how he used to feel with them near. He wasn't sure how he'd survived this long if it had been.

“Take a picture,” Andrew drawled.

Kevin tore his gaze away, then resolutely directed it back, mustering some of his old confident irritation. “Excuse my surprise. I'd have thought you would have told me you were coming.”

Andrew shrugged. “Last minute decision.”

Kevin almost huffed. Even so, the hours it would have taken them to get here would have been plenty of time to notify him—even so, a text would have taken a few seconds before they'd even left.

“We were bored,” Neil said, returning from wherever he'd been nosying through. “And we were already in the car.”

That stung more than it should have—more than Kevin could allow himself to acknowledge. He parsed through that for a response and came up with, “With my shirt.”

Neil shrugged, now showing a vested interest in the hallway itself. “You told me to wear it.”

Kevin's stomach flipped. He swallowed, roughly, and turned away. “You can put your bags in the spare room.”

Andrew moved to do so wordlessly. Kevin knew he would use it as an excuse for doing his own poking around, but he didn't care. There was nothing material Kevin wanted or needed to hide from them.

“How've you been?” Neil asked. Kevin had forgotten the weight of his scrutiny. It didn't matter what Kevin answered—the way Neil was looking at him meant he'd already begun taking Kevin apart.

He couldn't help answering, “I'm fine.”

Neil's smile was wry, but less vicious than it had once been.

“You gonna show us your new court?” Neil asked, doing a slight bounce on his toes that made Kevin's heart tumble. This was alright, though. This was safe, familiar territory. Kevin's feelings became much less complicated when he could focus on exy.

Andrew rematerialised at Neil's side with a derisive sound. “I am having food first.” He looked expectantly at Kevin, and Kevin felt another shiver of inexplicable nerves, of something like failure or inadequacy.

He mended it quickly. “There's a cafe a few blocks over that does desserts.”

Andrew looked as close to pleased as Kevin had ever seen him; Neil looked all too knowing. Kevin stopped looking at either of them.

~^~

Even when darkness fell and they parted ways into separate rooms, Kevin’s awareness of their presence was a physical thing beside him, a buzzing in his ears that would not allow him to sleep. He strained to hear over it, in case there really were any audible signs of life in the apartment aside from his frantic heartbeat. Then he realised what he was doing and turned onto his side, pressing his face to his pillow in hopes of muffling everything else.

It didn’t work.

He dragged himself out of bed, hoping a wander to the bathroom and to the kitchen for a drink would settle him. But this was just another mistake.

A silhouette already occupied the kitchen. Kevin made out Neil's shape, his outline wreathed in moonlight where he stood in front of the window, his hands planted on the counter. There was no hope of turning tail and escaping; Neil heard him before he'd even fully entered the room and turned to glance at him.

Neil's eyes were midnight blue in the dark. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Kevin crept into the room. “Trouble sleeping?”

Neil shrugged.

Kevin did not require explanation, really. He knew what it was like, trying to make yourself comfortable in an unfamiliar environment. Maybe Neil had been used to it, once, or maybe that was unfair—maybe, once, he had struggled all the more. Kevin knew well that the imminent threat of death could keep anyone awake.

“Why did you really come?” Kevin asked. It was easier, in the darkness, over-tired, when he already felt raw and exposed and apart from reality.

The afterward was the nerve-wracking bit, and Neil did not make it easier. He turned to lean back against the counter and eyed Kevin quietly, his hands flexing where they gripped the granite. “Why do you think we came?”

Kevin bit down a scoff. He should have expected the non-answer, but that didn't make it less irritating. He gave a jerky shrug. “I suppose you still don't think I can take care of myself.”

“That's not true,” Neil denied, his brow furrowing. “I never thought that.”

“You're a known liar,” Kevin dismissed.

“Known to be bad at it.” The voice came from behind him, but Kevin didn't turn. His breath hitched as Andrew slipped past him and into the kitchen, ignoring them both as he filled himself a glass of water.

Neil nodded at him, as if that was all the explanation and evidence necessary. Then he eyed Kevin a little more thoughtfully. “Do you not want us here?”

“That's not it,” Kevin said, because he was not known for being a good liar, either.

“But there is something?”

Kevin fidgeted. “I just don't—I don't understand.”

Andrew clinked his glass down into the sink and turned to stare Kevin down. “What is there to understand?”

You, Kevin thought exasperatedly. Why you're here. Why you didn't tell me you were coming. Why you still allow me in your lives at all, when you must know by now how I feel. Us. This. Pick one.

“Don't you want to spend your break together?” Kevin landed on, with a little more bitterness than intended.

Neil and Andrew shared a look, and that, right there, was what Kevin meant. When he was in their presence, he couldn't deny their unity, that together they were a part of something that Kevin was not. He could remain in their orbit, clinging to their gravity, but they were a world of their own and in the end, he was just a blink in their universe.

Kevin had hoped that distance would allow him to find his own gravity, and he would not feel so untethered when he looked at them and remembered he was not theirs.

He should have known that a pull that strong could not be weakened by something as insignificant as space.

“It is not as if we don't see each other enough,” Andrew finally commented, dry and unconcerned.

Neil pulled a face at him. “We are spending the break together,” he pointed out. He turned back to Kevin with a shrug. “We just wanted to see you, too.”

Kevin waited for the punchline. For Andrew, at least, to refute wanting anything other than Neil, which he still denied even at its most obvious. But Andrew just stood quietly, and Neil kept looking at Kevin in a way that was not soft, was not really even friendly, but was all the more honest and disarming for it.

Kevin felt suddenly, inexplicably furious. “What a generous afterthought.”

Neil furrowed his brow. “Kevin—”

“I do not need your pity,” Kevin snapped. Neil, to his credit, didn't flinch. “I am not the answer to whatever poor attempt at self-improvement this is.”

Andrew glanced back and forth between them, looking as close to amused as he got as Neil rolled his eyes heavenward. “Jesus Christ, you're impossible. I don't know which one of your issues this meltdown is stemming from, but we only came to—”

Kevin turned and strode back into the hall before he could hear the rest.

Neil said something loudly in Russian which Kevin assumed was a swear before calling after him. “Do you always need to be such a drama queen? Kevin, come on. Kev, listen to me!” He caught up to Kevin and latched a hand around his wrist.

Kevin spun on him, jerking out of his grip. Neil retracted his hands, holding them up peaceably. “Don't yell at me.”

“Then listen to me,” Neil insisted. “What's wrong? You've been weird since we got here and now you're being pissy.”

Andrew followed them out. “Neil, don't tease him.”

“No, I need him to say it.” Neil didn't tear his gaze away from Kevin, resolute and equally pissed off in the face of Kevin's ire.

Kevin shifted. “Say what?”

“Kevin, why do you think I'm here?” When Kevin opened his mouth to respond, Neil held up a hand. “No, think about it for a second. Not just here in your apartment. Why do you think I ever came with you in the first place?”

“To play,” Kevin said easily, blankly. What did this have to do with anything? “It was the stupidest thing you have ever done.”

Andrew twitched, and Kevin wondered if he was about to disagree or simply amused again. They both knew Neil had done much stupider things, but that had been the causal point of them all.

Neil was undeterred. “Probably. So do you think if anyone other than Kevin Day had asked me, I would've done it?”

Kevin opened his mouth. Closed it again.

Neil inched closer. “What other reason could I possibly have had that would've made me think it was worth it?”

“I didn't think you were thinking at all,” Kevin couldn't help answering.

Neil made a sound of frustration, almost a growl, then crushed it into softness. “It's you, Kevin. Do you not get that? It's you, it's always been you.”

Kevin's breath caught, and it was ridiculous, because Neil didn't even mean it like that. He had never meant it like that. Kevin had understood, upon finding out who Neil was and the connection between them, that Neil's joining him had always been something more, but it had never been that. It was something like how Kevin hung onto Jean, even now—that memory of the brightest part of a dark place and the desperate desire to cling to it. He'd made the comparison before, and it almost made him laugh, how accurate it was, except Kevin knew now how Jean had felt and how it had hurt and that it didn't any longer.

This—them—could never be so clean cut. Neil was a gun or a knife and Andrew was the night and so it would always hurt, like a wound reopened again and again, as surely as the sun would always set.

Kevin's response was scathing. “I'm sure I've exceeded all your expectations.”

Neil laughed, sharp and sure. “Oh, you're so much worse.”

“Enough.” Andrew put himself between them, slipping into Kevin's space as easily as if he had never left. His gaze was a trap that Kevin fell into without a second thought. “Tell us you don't want us here.”

“What?”

“Tell us to go,” Andrew said easily, “and we'll go.”

Kevin fumbled. “I didn't—that wasn't—”

“Or tell us to stay. But it has to be one or the other. A non-answer is as good as a no.” Andrew shrugged. “The choice is yours.”

“Don't pretend it's that simple,” Kevin snapped. He felt tense and agitated, unsure of which way to run. It all came down to deals with Andrew, to definites, but they were never as straightforward as he made them seem. Kevin had witnessed it, with Aaron and Neil and himself—how easily one gave to make way for another, how a yes was only a yes until it was no.

Kevin would tell them to stay, and at the end of the week, what would happen? They would have to go, and instead of being Andrew-and-Neil and Kevin, they would return to their planet of two, and he would still be alone.

“You suck at this,” Neil said bluntly, and Kevin blanched for a moment before realising he was talking to Andrew.

The look Andrew sent back at him would have meant death, to anyone else. When Neil was the recipient, it was almost affectionate. “Because it is clearly your area of expertise.”

“Alright, genius. The fact even I can tell you're confusing him just makes my point.”

“He isn't confused.” Andrew cut his gaze back to Kevin. “He's a coward.”

Kevin fumed. “What makes you think—”

His breath cut off as Andrew took another step into his space, until he was forced to tilt his head down just to look at him. “Why,” Andrew asked softly, “are you still waiting to be punished for wanting something?”

And just like that, everything shifted.

“You know.”

Andrew raised a brow. Neil rolled his eyes. “I was able to figure it out on my own, Kev. Are you saying you didn't?”

Wordlessly, Kevin shook his head.

“You are even more dense than I gave you credit for,” Andrew said.

“Can you—” Kevin cleared his throat “—can you spell it out for me?”

Andrew let a breath out through his nose.

Neil nudged up behind Andrew's shoulder. “Yes or no, Kevin?”

Kevin blinked and tried to hold in the immediate yes that wanted to escape. “To what?” he managed, though it didn't matter. He could play defense all he liked, but it wasn't where his talents lay. In the end, he would take the shot.

He wouldn't be able to resist giving them anything they asked for.

Neil nodded to Andrew and said, “Kiss him.”

Kevin did not take time to think anything trivial or snarky like him? Not you? because he was not stupid enough to miss such an open net from one of the few people in the world able to shut him out. Thoughtless and breathless, but with the surety and precision that came from thinking a move over again and again, he said, “Yes.”

And then Andrew was kissing him.

Andrew was kissing him.

Kevin had been kissed plenty, and it apparently did not make a difference when it was another man; kissing was kissing, and his body knew how to do it. His head was last to process, unable to make it past the fact that Andrew was kissing him, but by then they'd already reached a rhythm and he was fairly sure he'd made an absolutely embarrassing noise, and Andrew's hand was in his hair. Incredulous, irrepressible laughter bubbled in Kevin's chest.

Andrew's teeth dug into his bottom lip. “What's funny?”

Kevin laughed a little more. “When I imagined this, I failed to focus on how short you are.”

Andrew's look spoke death. To Kevin, it felt almost affectionate.

“I'm sure there's ways around that,” Neil said dryly. When Kevin managed to look at him, he noted with not a small amount of satisfaction that Neil must have only managed that tone with a dedicated amount of control. In the dim light of the hallway, his pupils had blown, and he seemed unsure of whether to look at Andrew or Kevin.

The impossible part, Kevin realised, had already passed—his lips were tingling with the remnants of Andrew's kiss. The game had changed, and no move from here on was too risky to take.

He raised his brows, letting the corner of his mouth curl upwards. “Are you offering to test that theory?”

Neil had never been one to back down from a challenge.

#kandreil #aftg #tfc #kevin day #neil josten #andrew minyard #prompts #can you tell i always give up at the end #i genuinely have no excuse for having never done these prompts #even now they are being chosen through random number generator #this is what i mean when i say it will take me a while to get to smth #but it will be done

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owl-does-art · 5 months ago

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All For The Game Reread Thoughts! (Part 3)

My exams are finally over lol so I can get back to my rereads! My Thoughts™ for The King's Men are as follows:

- Neil "I asked" Josten 🙏🙏🙏

- Andrew calling Neil a raccoon 😭 "Exy is the shiny object of your sad little life"

- Ok it literally explains why Neil pretends he's a year older in Millport (so he didn't have to get parental consent for anything)

- I DIDN'T REMEMBER THE COUNTDOWN STARTED ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!!

- Andrew revving the Maserati for Matt has my entire heart 😭

- I remembered Neil had lived in 22 different cities but I didn't realise it was across sixteen countries! I thought it was like,,, six or something

- The switch to Nathaniel gets me every time

- Ok in book one it said he had black hair when he first joined the foxes and now it's saying he had brown hair,,, I've always pictured him w brown hair when he joined so it's a win for me lol

- Neil: *is having a panic attack*

Andrew: "Stop it" 😭

- Neil can speak around nine languages! (not fluently tho)

- In my copy of this book there are two chapter fourteens and two chapter fifteens lmao 😭

- Neil not knowing anything abt chess when Kevin comes back w his tattoo is too funny to me asdfghjkl

- Neil getting rid of Proust >>>

- The way I COMPLETELY FORGOT that Neil played backliner against Riko omgggg

- I also completely forgot that Neil was there to watch as Ichirou killed Riko

- "This was everything he wanted, everything he needed, and Neil was never letting go" AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH I love this book series so muchhhh

- "I'm fine" count: 12

Meaning the total count across all three books is twenty nine times!

#aftg #all for the game #tkm #the kings men #aftg reread #neil “I'm fine” josten #neil “I asked” josten #what a king 🙏#this book series has genuinely shaped who I am as a person and taught me so many things about boundaries consent and sexuality #(ace gang rise up)#it has stuck with me and been there for me and I just have so many thoughts about it that I could never hope to articulate fully #but I'm finally done with my (third) reread!#next up is the sunshine court!

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tommonikercomics · 5 months ago

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Apologies for a brief absence! This weather is kicking my ass. While I'm working on some requests, have a cursed AFTG doodle that came about by me rewatching The Cat Returns & seeing a lacrosse stick. "The Fox Returns" is almost as cursed as the Timkon Hercules AU I daren't release to the public 😤

#aftg #neil josten #the cat returns #studio ghibli #what have i done #my art

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kazoo-the-demjin · 2 years ago

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is it just me or is the thought of Kevin being the assistant coach to the foxes is just kinda unbelievable? Like just imagine dude doing nothing but holding a clipboard in his hand and basically doing all of Wymack's work for him- which is shouting and screaming his head off (and Wymack can't help but laugh in his head how that was almost him and how Kevin has a long long way to get accustomed to the foxes' shit lmao). Imagine Kevin Day accepting that his short Exy life had come to an end as a player and would continue as a Coach for however long he could bear with watching the game from the sideline, never picking up a racquet to show all them fuckers thinking they're anywhere close to being strikers while being an insult to his mother's game. Just. Imagine that Kevin Day for a while and tell me it's easy.

We all love Kevin to death ik but i don't think we're really appreciating and understanding the kind of decisions this man has taken and the amount of willpower this person possesses.

#IT'S NOT FUCKING EASY I'LL BE SOBBING CRYING THROWING UP #i mean. it does has scope. beautiful; painful; painful scope #(me using semi-colons as commas bYE)#but it's so fucking painful. i almost canNOT imagine Kevin Day being an assistant coach at 20 #the peak of his would-be career #this man is so strong #so so so strong #i'll be forever proud of him #fuck all who try to portray kevin as a timid spineless boy #he's done what probably NO ONE would EVER #COULD EVER do #we can't ignore kevin's trauma and try to glorify neil's and andrew's at the same time #it's so much easier to write this shit in the tags instead of the post what #so much of my matter is in my tags #anyways #i have no clue when i became a kevin apologist #kevin day #neil josten #andrew minyard #david wymack #the foxes #all for the game #aftg #tfc #tay shit #tay.aftg #exy

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avymiir · 2 years ago

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neil josten should have pulled an ellie williams and gone completely ham on his father with his dad’s cleaver it’s what he deserves

#avymiir reads aftg #all for the game #neil josten #him walking out of his fathers house in a daze+covered in blood until he washes off in a gas station bathroom #OR #him washing off his fathers blood in the same sink he had washed his cuts+burns off of in #something he had done out of a desperate hope for the future #that he fought for and now had within reach #i also love the thought of him making his way back to the foxes still covered in his fathers blood but lbr that isn’t super realistic #him going missing for a few days/weeks afterwards tho trying to figure out if he CAN go back to the foxes #while all the foxes know is from what kevin told them that his dad took him and he is prob dead and they hear nothing so assume the worst #maybe see that nathan died from the news but there’s no word of neil so all they can assume is that he didn’t survive #until he finally makes his way back to them and then they get a heartbreaking+ecstatic reunion #there’s just so many possibilities and it started from a desire to have neil go ham in his dad lol

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dvrcos · 10 months ago

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Andrew Minyard mic’d up if aftg took place today and the Foxes did social media promo

Andrew absolutely refuses to be mic’d up for a long time

When he finally agrees to do it it’s during a game against the Jackals

Everyone is sure it’ll be a bust and they won’t get much of Andrew actually talking

But to everyone’s surprise, Andrew turns his inner monologue outwards and doesn’t shut up

He commentates the game from his perspective

‘And there’s the son of Exy Kevin Day running the ball up- and oh yeah no he’s down for the count’ *huffs a laugh through his nose*

‘The other fuckers have the ball now, if my brother dearest let’s them get it to my goal I’ll kill him’

And when the opposing teams striker trips Aaron up and gets past to Andrews goal he shuts them out of course

‘He’s dead. Find a new backliner coach’

When he gets bored of the game and the backliners are keeping the ball away from his goal he starts to sing

He does a full rendition of “Life is a Highway” because Neil and him watched Cars on the bus ride to the game

And he gets into it

He makes the guitar noises with his mouth and everything

He even sings it in the best low, country voice he can do

He interrupts himself in the middle of the song suddenly, feeling the need to give his full synopsis and review of Cars

‘If I was the stupid fucking car and I fell out of my sentient truck/trailers ass I would keep driving in the same fucking direction. Simple’

‘Josten would do the same thing as Lightning McQueen. He would fuck up an entire town, he’s already done it once actually, when he came here.’

‘Stupid junkie, I hate him’ he adds but there’s a fondness in his voice

‘How do the cars reproduce? Are there humans in this universe that build cars and then make them sentient? Do the cars bang?’

Halfway through his rant one of the strikers gets past Matt and Aaron and he doesn’t even stop talking when he smacks the ball halfway across the court

When the other teams strikers start breaking through the backliners more frequently Andrew doesn’t even seem to care

He just swats every attempted goal away, squawking a quite ‘mine’ like the seagulls from Finding Nemo after hitting each one

Mine *smacks* mine *swats* mine *swish*

He keeps his goal almost completely shut down the entire game, spare a few times when the other team can get the ball past him because he’s not paying attention

‘I wonder what coach is buying us for dinner after this. I hope it's good since we’re’ *his goal lights up red* ‘Oops, anyhow it better be good, I’m working my ass off out here,’

‘What if we all started moving in slow motion. Josten and Day would look stupid running up the court like that,’ *a ball flies past his helmet* ‘If we were in slowmo I would’ve stopped that’

He plays the entire game (Renee's out with an injury) and he shuffles through doing all this the entire game

He sings verses of whatever song pops into his head

He reviews the movies he’s watched recently

He commentates the game in his dry manner, listing off every stat he knows about the other team and then explains why they still suck

He makes fun of his Foxes and the other team

He talks about his random hypotheticals

All while keeping the goal almost perfectly defended against the other teams strikers

When the game ends and the Foxes are loaded back up on the bus they listen back to the recording of Andrews mic

And they’re shocked that he doesn’t stop talking once the entire game

They listen to his entire recording on the ride back to campus

All of the Foxes are laughing the entire time

Even Neil is smiling (even though he’s used to this version of Andrew that is weird and likes to ramble)

When they post his mic’d up highlights to their social media it goes viral

It’s their most viewed and liked mic’d up video

Their fans are begging for more of Andrew mic’d up but he refuses to do it again

He got the enjoyment out of doing it once and doesn’t feel a need to do it again

The foxes do start to pay a little more attention to what Andrew’s saying while in goal (and all the time)

Aaron Mic’d up

#andrew is weird he just doesn’t show it to many people often #the rest of the foxes absolutely adore and love seeing this side of him #andrew minyard #aftg #all for the game #aaron minyard #neil josten #kevin day #the foxes #mic’d up foxes

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juicegremlin · 8 months ago

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Literally sobbing my eyes out because Jean wanted Neil to stay at The Nest so. Bad. Someone barrels into his life—the "what could have been" of Jean Moreau if his mother had saved him instead of sold him—and tells Jean that he doesn't deserve to be treated this way. Jean-Yves "Starving Dog" Moreau doesn't deserve to starve, doesn't deserve to spend his whole life chasing safety and approval. For the first time in a long time, Jean has someone to protect and be protected by—a partner who won't throw him under the bus the first chance he gets. Someone to hold his fucking hand.

And then Neil leaves. Neil leaves, and Jean shatters into even more pieces than before. His partner—the one and only bright spot in Evermore's relentless sea of bad—has gone back to the Foxes, a group of people that would never treat someone the way Jean has been treated. Jean has been abandoned, yet again, by the only person capable of being there for him. Kevin got out. Neil got out. They find homes and lives and families while Jean is forced to stay and let Riko beat him into the ground, day after day after day. What makes Jean so different? So unworthy? Why can't fate hand him the same cards?

He watches Neil flourish from behind black walls, watches Kevin grow and heal and thinks why not me? And he's glad they are safe, but Jean can't help it—he wants them back. Wants someone to bear witness to his pain, even if it means putting them in danger. And is that so awful to crave? A partner in punishment? Someone to promise him hope when all he can see is black?

Kengo dies, and what little bit of hope Jean had allowed himself to cling to dies with him.

I am going to die here, Jean realizes, bleeding out onto the dormitory floor. I am finally going to die here.

When he spots Renee, he thinks he has died. Who else would come for him but an angel without wings?

But no, this is real. Jean is alive, and this is real—after years of battering, it is finally his turn to be saved, and it's all because of the Neil Josten. Jean may have been left, but he was not abandoned. He was in the back of Neil's mind the entire time. Jean watches from behind the Foxes' safety net as Neil takes Riko's resolve and dismantles it with unforgiving hands, as Neil helps return Kevin to his former glory. Watches as Neil drags Riko's life to a screeching halt. Neil cuts a deal for Jean with the Moriyamas—gives him a place outside of Evermore for the first time since Marseille—and Jean can barely breathe under the weight of himself. It's real, but it doesn't feel like it.

And then Kevin—that beautiful, unattainable piece of bitch—sends Jean to the Trojans, repayment for helping Kevin escape all those months ago. Neil takes care of the last piece of Jean's painful past, repayment for Jean's life-saving support at Evermore. And perhaps there is no real way to settle the score between the three of them, but they're free. They're safe. They're alive, and they never could have done it without each other. Maybe that's enough for now.

#tsc spoilers #tsc #the sunshine court #jean moreau #jeremy knox #nora sakavic #all for the game #aftg #the foxhole court #jerejean #neil josten #nathaniel wesninski #kevin day

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codename-adler · 8 days ago

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*when Robin joins the Foxes*

Kevin-Jean-&-Jeremy: so. interesting choice of goalie.

Neil: you shut your whore mouths. she is the easiest child i’ve ever had. you guys were abominable. you gave me grey hairs. do you know how much you need to stress for dyed hair to turn grey? a shitload, that’s what.

Kevin-Jean-&-Jeremy: i ’m sure there were other… circumstances that perhaps stressed you out a bit?

Neil: no no. it was you problem children.

this just dropped: @blondeandfivefeeteven and i have determined who the best mother figure in aftg is and have come to the conclusion that it is neil josten

#i don’t know where wymack fits on the scale but probably under ‘peepaw’#it’s popcorn time in my brain u guys what have u done #mommy neil #robin cross #neil josten #kevin day #jean moreau #jeremy knox #aftg

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joejhang · 1 month ago

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fanon neil vs canon neil

god i am so FUCKING done with the aftg fandom mischaracterising neil i'm literally writing fucking ESSAYS about it and pacing circles muttering about it under my breath it's driving me up the goddamn wall so i am going to word vomit brain dump yap about all of it in an incoherent tumblr text post. spoilers ahead continue at ur own risk

i've said it before and i'll say it again I HATE FANON NEIL. istg this fandom LOVES to mischaracterise neil and ykw i think i know why. they take the smallest most unnoticeable parts of his personality and then exaggerate them to disproportionate and unrealistic levels in order for him to fit their idea of a conventional, stereotypical and desirable main character. they smooth out his jagged edges and prick at his "insecurities" to make him more likeable, more acceptable and more conventional of a narrator/main character and in doing so erase so fucking much of his personality and draw as a character that he loses just about all of the flavour that made me love him in canon. and also especially within the andreil dynamic this fucking fandom just loves to tweak neil's character until he's basically unrecognisable just so they can cram andreil into some preconceived socially acceptable clichéd ship dynamic. because andrew is perceived as the typical mysterious, moody and grumpy love interest therefore neil just has to be the sunshiney smiley blushing cute softboy in exchange. yeah because all gay ships have to be grumpy-sunshine and black cat-golden retriever dynamic. i raise you: andreil's dynamic doesn't work because of their differences it works because of their similarities. if u think about it andrew and neil are honestly very similar people in the way they think and process emotions and events and that's what allows them to connect and understand each other. andreil would not work if neil was super sunshiney and a blushy soft mess and andrew was the stoic, never smiling, unemotional stone of a guy the fandom loves to make them. just accept they do not fit into the conventional boxes laid out by booktok for what gay ships look like. i fucking digress.

neil is also just insanely mischaracterised on his own. people love making him very jittery and insanely oblivious and easily flustered with a generous serving of self-esteem issues. i hate to break it to you guys: neil josten is not insecure. i don't think there's a single instant in the series where neil is actually insecure about anything. as a narrator, person and character, neil is very realistic, pragmatic and logical. ruthlessly so. i'd say on this, neil is even more cerebral and unemotional than andrew is. neil is very straightforward and realistic abt himself in his narration and i'd honestly say his opinion and views about himself are one of the only things in the story that isn't affected by his narrator bias. if neil is anything, it's self-aware. i'm now going to present all my fucking evidence.

neil doesn't have a sexuality crisis. literally in the entire series never once does he even question his fucking sexuality. it's implied he's already figured out he's aspec/demisexual from the moment nicky questions him about his sexuality. neil says "i don't swing" and follows up in his narration: it wasn't quite the truth, but it was close enough. and later when he starts his relationship with andrew he doesn't ever question the nature of his feelings towards andrew or even anyone else and is pretty clear about it when andrew breaches the topic: "kissing you doesn't make me look at them any differently" so yeah neil is pretty certain and aware of his sexuality.

neil isn't insecure about his appearance. i feel like this is gonna require a bit of work to explain but hear me out. it is mentioned several times that neil has a complicated relationship with his appearance because he looks so much like his father/abuser. this is obviously understandable; you wouldn't want to look into the mirror and see the man who gave u all ur scars. that being said, neil doesn't have a lot of strong emotions regarding his appearance. most of his feelings of panic tied to when r*ko dyed back his hair is because of how it would be a lot easier for his father to discover him now that he has his original colouring back. i'm also pretty sure neil knows that he's cute. like it's never explicitly stated but i've reread aftg maybe fifty times and trust me i can read between the lines. neil explicitly says that he has a "love-hate relationship with his reflection out of necessity" and while the "hate" part of that statement is obvious: he doesn't like that he resembles his father, i've sort of just accepted that the "love" part of it is that he knows he's kinda fine. it's not brought up by him at all bc neil as a person is not one to linger on people's appearances almost at all. i think the only people to get a decent amount of lines dedicated to their appearance in the narration are allison and andrew. but yeah i genuinely don't think neil thinks he's ugly or unattractive and he's probably definitely been told how cute he is by others enough that he doesn't harbour any delusions about how he looks. regarding his scars, he never expresses any insecurity towards them and how they look, he just doesn't like them on display understandably bc of how acutely they point to his past and childhood that he's trying to hide.

neil is actually very very confident in his own and other people's abilties. this is esp regarding exy. he knows he's good at the game. like he knows. the most distinct example i can think of for this point is when kevin tells neil that he was at castle evermore to try out for the perfect court when they were younger. neil doesn't even doubt for a fucking second that he would've made it onto the perfect court. never does. he skips over the second-guessing and doubt part and just straight up starts daydreaming about the future he could've had playing with kevin and r*ko. like that really got me bc it's easy to assume neil would be super unassuming and have low self-esteem but no like neil doesn't doubt for a fucking second that he deserves to be perfect court. it's just that he doesn't believe in r*ko's delusions enough to play along with it by the time he gets the tattoo. he's also insanely confident about the foxes and their abilities and also kevin by the end of the series. at the beginning he takes a pretty realistic vantage point and says that with the way things are, the foxes will never beat the ravens. but even with that pov he still has the gall to challenge r*ko on LIVE TV and i doubt he's lying when he declares so boldly to everyone that if the foxes were united they'd be an unstoppable force (and guess what he was fucking RIGHT). and by the end, when the foxes are united, he has no more room left for doubt at all. some guy tells neil to kick the ravens' asses and neil just replies with zero hesitation "that's the plan". like he's so fucking on board with it. and he never once doubts that kevin is the best striker in the game. like literally never. at first he considers r*ko and kevin on par with each other (possibly, it's never stated outright) but by the end he literally has no doubts when he says "kevin is the best striker" like goddamn the amount of confidence neil has is so underrated.

neil is a very unemotional narrator. it actually gets me all the time how logical and ruthlessly pragmatic neil's narration and inner monologue is. some of the only strong emotions portrayed in neil's narration are anger, irritation and occasionally grief, which is only ever triggered by major trauma-inducing events (e.g. dr*ke). almost all of his inner monologue is analytical and observing others and dissecting either other people or the situation he's in. and almost all of his decisions and actions are made based on impulse and instinct. neil is a very instinctive person. this is outright stated in the way he plays exy; in theory, he can't give u a lot, but in the heat of the moment he's at his best. this applies to practically all facets of neil's life. he never plans his moves or what he's gonna say (except like that one time when he planned out what half-truth he was gonna tell andrew post-columbia). he's super quick and on the ball and literally does whatever the fuck he wants at any given moment. he's also insanely good at compartmentalising. like it's difficult to explain but while his priorities are obv hilariously skewed, they're also very clear in his mind. things he considers unimportant he simply just doesn't think about. what others look like and what they think of him don't factor into his internal monologue or his thoughts at all he literally just files them away in the back of his mind until they do end up becoming useful or important to him. he barely comments on andrew's appearance at all until andrew becomes someone worth staring at and admiring for him. the only reason he describes allison and renee in the detail that he does is because it's important in understanding how and why he reacts to them the way he does. this man was literally about to lose his goddamn mind at the fall banquet but he specifically reserved his mental breakdown for after the banquet so he could spend his time roasting the fuck out of r*ko. bro fully locked in and was like "clock riko now break down later" and i respect it.

neil doesn't actually have a martyr complex. it's funny because almost all of aftg is him being the absolute fucking opposite of a martyr. he wilfully sticks around the foxes knowing he's putting himself and them in danger. he doesn't "sacrifice" himself until he's absolutely forced to by his father's people. by then, he's already told himself he can't and won't run and he's smart enough to know he'll never get away anyway. and going to evermore wasn't about self-sacrifice or martyrdom it was about protecting andrew and those two are pretty fucking different. he knew he was coming back from evermore and he knew that he wouldn't die there, despite all the shit he went through, so i don't think that can be counted as "self-sacrifice". he was doing what he had to do to protect andrew, the same as andrew would've done for neil or aaron or kevin or anyone else he'd sworn to protect. the kidnapping in baltimore was the culmination of neil's character arc, which isn't really about learning to be selfless and self-sacrificing, it's about learning to stand his ground and stop running. those things r crucially different: neil not running in baltimore wasn't about selflessness, it was about courage. yes, part of it was obviously inspired by the foxes and motivated by not wanting them to be hurt but i truly believe it ultimately was about neil learning to stand his own ground and make his own home and have it be something he's willing to die for. call it whatever u want honestly i just don't think neil is as much of a martyr/sacrificial lamb as the fandom makes him out to be.

#zoe yaps #god there's a limit to how much i can write #we live in an economy #what the fuck #i'm so mad bro i have so much more to say #whatever y'all have to deal with this for now #take it or leave it this is the real neil josten i know him personally #save me canon neil save me #i hate fanon neil sm oh my days #STOP mischaracterising him for the love of god #aftg #all for the game #neil josten #andrew minyard #andreil

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andriel-islife · 26 days ago

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Welcome to my TedTalk of my favorite aftg recurring event: people reacting to Neil’s languages.

First the monsters reacting to Neil’s French

“He wished he could take some satisfaction in the shell-shocked looks the language and his furious tone earned…It was an age before anyone responded. Nicky was too busy gaping at Neil to say anything, and Aaron was staring at Kevin as he waited for a translation. Andrew’s surprise gave way to what a fool might mistake for delight and he leaned forward on the desk. “Wow another one of Neil’s many talents. How many can one man have?””

This scene is funny because unproblematic and ordinary Neil Josten just busts into their dorm room with no explanation and starts speaking in angry French. (And Andrew’s “you’re interesting to me” without actually saying so.)

Andrew and Wymack discovering Neil’s German. (Only Andrew reacts but it’s important to remember Wymack heard the German as well(for later))

“That wiped the irritation off Andrew’s face. It was forever before Andrew answered in German. “That’s unexpected. Did no one tell you I hate surprises?”…”how many languages do you speak, runaway?””

We love seeing through Andrews medication to his true feelings(surprise). And then this being followed by a civil conversation of Neil’s true past and Andrew’s reactions. Is this really the love hate(mostly hate)TFC andriel dynamic we loved for half a book.

The upperclassmen+Wymack finding out about Neil’s French (only Wymack's response but, again, important to know the upper classmen hear his French.)

He didn’t realize what he’d done wrong until he felt Wymack’s piercing stare. Andrew’s lot new Neil spoke French…But Wymack, like Andrew, had also heard Neil speak fluent German. Neil ground his teeth and refused to return Wymack’s look.”

Wymack hadn’t reacted to the German because of the situation but he probably also didn’t feel the need to respond to yet another one of his kids having a second language. But apparently bilingual is where he draws the line for languages. Neil “multilingual” Josten had Wymack questioning who he really was and why his second and third languages happened to be those already present in his team.

Upperclassmen, Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin finding out about Neil’s German (thanks to Andrew being Andrew)

““Oh shit,” Nicky said, switching languages in a heartbeat. “Since when do you speak German? Andrew, you knew about this? Why didn’t you tell us?”…Aaron looked at Neil. “When were you going to tell us?”…Down the hall the upperclassmen stared at them in disbelief. Matt was the first to get his tongue back, but the best he came up with was, “I thought you spoke French. That was French this morning right?…”

Aaron being the king of not caring about things concerning Neil.

Last but not least(if I remember correctly) Jean reacting to Neil’s French.

“Jean wasn’t expecting him to understand them and shot Neil a startled look.”

This startling Jean was funny. How can one be anymore scared when sitting next to Riko Moriyama. And Neil letting his attitude get the best of him in not only English but also French. He was on a roll and he wasn’t going to let a language switch stop him.

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aftgtandn · 16 days ago

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We're at a real risk of sounding like a broken record at this point but you guys are AMAZING!

We still can't believe how much support you all have shown the fest. From reblogs and retweets, to comments and joining in all the fun games, it's truly been a blast.

We really, really can't thank you enough! Our hearts are so full to see T&N fest be so fun for the second year in a row — and it's all your doing! Every fic, every piece of art, every work adopted, every meme, every comment left, every full bingo card, every rec. IT WAS ALL YOU.

To our creators in particular: we owe you THE WORLD. Thank you for being brilliant. Please make sure to tag us in all your claim posts so we can reblog them!

WITHOUT FURTHER ADO... here's the full list of works AND THEIR INCREDIBLY TALENTED CREATORS:

Are you Real? by Whyreme Rated Mature | 6052 words Andrew comes back from Easthaven but Neil isn't at Palmetto, where he promised he would be. If you ever wondered what it would be like if Andrew was present for the immediate aftermath of Christmas at the Nest, this one is for you.

[art] don't flinch. by ghostheroes Rated Gen | Art There's not that much space from the cheek to the eye. In the art piece we have for you today, Lola aims the lighter barely an inch higher.

echoes by doodleishere Rated Teen | 100 words What if Kevin didn't leave the next alone? In this flash fic, Jean gets out too when Riko's anger finally snaps.

Bite the hand by Ateiluj Rated Mature | 4515 words We all have asked the question: what was going through Andrew's mind during The Choking Incident? A question we might have not asked, however, is: what would happen if no one stopped him? Well, this fic answers both of those!

duck duck goose by glittersinnin Rated Gen | 2329 words When Andrew goes through Neil's duffel, Neil holds his tongue. It will take some patience for him to get adequate revenge. Patience... and some experience handling the local water foul.

Let Down by maydaykevin Rated Gen | 4132 words How would it affect Kevin and Andrew's deal if Kevin hit Andrew back when Andrew chokes him? How is their relationship impacted by this unexpected bout of violence between them? Find out in this fic!

If You're Throwing Me to the Lions by orionauriga Rated Teen | 3763 words It's not easy when your boyfriend comes with a whole lot of baggage, especially twin-brother-who-hates-you shaped baggage. It's not easy but it's worth it, for Aaron, and Katelyn knows how to stand her ground.

If I was easy to kill you would have done it already by lazarusthefirst Rated Mature | 9196 words They were always meant to be partners, now it's Jean's job to make sure Neil behaves. Neil isn't great at being a partner, but he knows partners don't leave each other behind. In this fic, Neil doesn't come back to Palmetto alone.

Butterfly Effect! Read More on Page 12 by animediac Rated Gen | 5194 words How much can the death of one character affect the narrative? Through newspaper and blog articles, emails and social media posts, that's exactly what this fic explores. How many lives can the butterfly effect of one unfortunate 'accident' change?

Nathaniel by nyaar0n Rated Gen | Art Neil Josten is a Fox, but what if he never got the chance to be? Nathaniel Wesninski is a Raven through and through, and in this art piece, he snatches the spotlight both on the court and with his partner.

Now it's Time to Live (and Turn to Dust) by Witheredcarnelians Rated Mature | 4573 words Renee makes it just in time to save Jean ... or does she? This fic explores the crushing guilt of leaving behind a loved one, and being unable to save them in the end.

caught up in you by rooftopkisses Rated Mature | 5463 words "What are you hoping for, coordinates?" Neil doesn't lock the door, and Nicky walks in on Neil and Andrew kissing. Nicky can be trusted — mostly because he fears Andrew's knife — but Andrew's tendency toward quiet implosion is a different story.

but i've walked this far by rwnjun Rated Teen | 14556 words When the countdown ends, Neil gets taken. His dad is dead, but manages to make substantial damage before he gets shot. Now Nathaniel gets to be Neil Josten, but who is Neil Josten if he can't play Exy?

i've been feeling smaller by neiljokesten (vykio) Rated Teen | 2433 words Over worrying and wound-tending, Aaron and Neil get caught on a never-ending loop of the pot calling the kettle black over sacrificing themselves to protect a loved one

a familiar face by Shinobimoon Rated Gen | 4184 words How would things have gone if Kevin had recognized Neil right away? Would Neil have run, or still signed with the Foxes? Read more in this fic!

Better Luck Next Time by AllAngstNoComfort Rated Mature | 7812 words What if Riko had gone for Aaron instead of Seth, that night? In this fic, we learn exactly that and how that affects the Foxes.

the most unkindest cut of all by deadangelo Rated Mature | 2550 words Riko Moriyama has been many things to Kevin Day: a friend, a brother, a partner, a monster. The die has been cast. Riko is going to die. This time around, Ichirou has a spectator seat saved for Kevin.

we want the young blood by undermoonwalker Rated Teen | Art What if Elodie was sold to the Ravens? What if Jean had a predetermined partner through all that darkness? This art looks at the possibilities of the Moreau Ravens!

you'll be alright (no one can hurt you now) by wesawbears Rated Teen | 1757 words Jeremy Knox can't figure out their newest recruit. But having some secrets of his own means that he can tell when something isn't right, and if there's one thing about the Trojans is that they protect their own.

as soft as feathers by delossanctuary Rated Mature | 4714 words What's a T&N fest without a devastating Abby fic? This year, ponder on this: what if Neil's finger slipped when he needed an airport pickup?

TKO by justadreamfox Rated Mature | 4733 words Remember that busboy Neil paid to knock him out? In today's T&N fic, Neil doesn't get left on the floor of the club afterwards. Not everyone is out to get him.

i know that i did you wrong (but will you trust me when i say that i'll make it up to you somehow) by evenfallwriter Rated Mature | 7076 words Neil gets something different for his 19th birthday: his father's death.

depraved heart by decaflondonfog Rated Mature | 7000 words There is a horrible scene at the Hemmick house. There is a dead man on the ground. There is Andrew, laughing. And then there is Kevin, standing with a bloody knife in hand and something far more potent than fear clawing at his rib cage.

kintsugi by gus_47 Rated Explicit | 4728 words Riko's violence knows no bounds; what if he didn't stop at Kevin's hand? This fic follows Jean as he weathers and grieves the aftermath of the Raven's ugliest secret.

The Mallard's Lullaby by Random2002 Rated Mature | 6313 words The Moreau family are good at business; why sell one child to an Exy empire when you can sell two? Good thing Elodie's got a stuffed duck, a pieced together first aid kit, and her brother. What more do you need?

Light in a prism by sassy_pen_sassy Rated Teen | 1030 words There's a life outside of the walls of the EAU Raven's nest; Jean learns what that's like with Renee by his side in this sweet fic.

not dead (yet) by ashestoashes7 Rated Mature | 13593 words When Andrew is released from Easthaven, only three of his charges are there to pick him up. He always knew Neil was a pipedream. If Andrew cared more, Neil could become a nightmare.

Digits by twolipsliterature Rated Teen | 2700 words A cheerleader and a Exy player on the run from his hitman father walk into a bar. This time, Neil gives Marissa his number instead of being an asshole for once.

shots fired by liaisun Rated Mature | Art Neil threw out the guns when his mother died, but today we take a look at how things might have gone if he hadn't.

Timing by HereBeChickens Rated Teen | 1116 words Kevin scores. Neil falls to his knees. ""You've always known what it's like to be second."" Riko swings. Andrew still gets there in time. But this is where we diverge.

presumably dead arm by kevjean Rated Mature | 15518 words What if someone else had found Kevin first after Riko broke his hand? What if that someone was special in a way that was never allowed before? In this fic, Kevin finds a slightly different way out of the Nest, and discovers something on the way.

and this is just my luck by starwarned Rated Teen | 2107 words Kevin Day is a star. He won't let a gay crisis get in his way. At least, that's the plan -- it becomes difficult for Kevin to maintain that dissonance after he overhears Andrew offering to blow Neil.

n'oublie pas de vivre by FireHeartAW Rated Teen | 5028 words What is left of Jean Moreau without Exy? Can he find a new place for himself without the Ravens even if his injuries prevent him from ever playing again? And what does he need to make that happen?

i am not scared of death, i've got dreams again by liliacskiess Rated Explicit | 5566 words Eden's back alleyway is not the place to be on a Friday night; Nicky learns that the hard way in today's fic which asks 'What if Andrew didn't arrive in time to fight Nicky's attackers'?

Back to the Old House by TearsOfATrickster Rated Teen | 6664 words Neil's not the only one willing to protect Andrew when he's at Easthaven. What if Kevin went back to EAU for Christmas?

Only Human by aquared46 Rated Mature | 2677 words “Shouldn’t I feel different? Powerful?” Neil survives his father, but the encounter leaves him with nightmares that seem like they should be good dreams. Andrew is there to listen as Neil tries to process.

Baltimore Basement by ConventionalExy Rated Mature | Art The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. In this art, Neil is taken to Baltimore by his father's people, but he knows his way around a cleaver.

The Graveyard Shift by KweenDay Rated Mature | 7100 words What if Andrew noticed there was something wrong in the locker room? What if Andrew stayed at Neil’s side? What if Andrew was brought to Baltimore too? In this fic we find out exactly what goes down behind the walls of the Wesninski manor.

the ongoing effects of growing a backbone by favbitchcharlie Rated Teen | 10641 words What if instead of giving Neil the plane ticket to EAU, Kevin tore it up? What if Neil let a bit of Nathaniel slip through? In this fic, Kevin and Neil go to break Andrew out of Easthaven in their own non-Coach-approved way.

The Prince and The Pauper by CherriPips Rated Mature | 8695 words After Riko broke his hand, Kevin went running to Wymack, but what if he saw Andrew first? In this fic, we find exactly how that interaction goes down.

Tear away at the Mask by Moondal Rated Teen | 2779 words What if more than one Fox had crossed paths with Neil in his past life? And what if this one particular Fox immediately recognized him, too? This is a fic about Natalie Shields, Nathaniel Wesninski, and about reinventing yourself.

scavenger's hunt by kiwiaok Rated Mature | 10341 words In a world where Lola survives her gunshot wounds in Baltimore, Neil has to face her once more during her trial, and things come to light that he would rather had stayed hidden.

Neil Josten Is Not Fine by the_greater_grief Rated Teen | 3362 words "In Neil’s dreams, Aaron never shows up to save the day." Neil's nightmares have become a problem even he can't ignore. When his sleeplessness begins to mess with his performance on the court, he gives in. Maybe Dobson isn't so bad, after all.

damage control by seasy33 Rated Mature | 11656 words When Andrew witnesses Nicky kissing Neil, his confidence in his plan to break Neil wavers. What can he stomach in his mission to keep his family safe? And what will it actually take to learn Neil's secrets?

patient violence by Mercey Rated Mature | 6981 words An orderly catches Dr. Proust and Andrew ends up escaping Easthaven early. Where to next? Well, Neil’s in the Nest and Andrew’s looking into a jailbreak. In this fic we find out what happens when Andrew goes to get Neil out of the Nest.

Deadliest Piece by LynxDoesArt Rated Explicit | Art When Neil realizes that something is wrong at the Hemmick's house, he rushes upstairs to find Andrew with the rest of the monsters close behind. What if Kevin got a hand on Neil's racquet before Aaron?

it lives in the throat by timeloops (kunimi) Rated Teen | 14440 words Switching places with your twin is fun, until… technically, Aaron Minyard dies in a car crash with his mother. But the dead body isn’t Aaron and now he must deal with the fallout of it all.

With all the love and appreciation in the world,

Your T&N'24 mods and helpers 💚

#aftg #all for the game #tfc #aftgthenandnever24 #aftgthenandnever #[mod post]#fest masterlist

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adamsrcnan · 8 months ago

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OKAY OKAY here we goooo an annoyingly long-ish post about all my thoughts on The Sunshine Court

Spoilers Spoilers Spoilersss you've been warned

First things first it is so interesting to see Nora writing from not one but TWO new people's perspective. Jean's perspective is just devastating being inside his head is heartbreaking the constant fear and panic and how much of his energy is used on just pushing down every memory of what was done to him. His coping mechanisms are terrifying and i truly do hope by the end of book 2 he has a healthier way of dealing with it bc baby boy stop hurting yourself :( Every sentence was so painful to read. But also his resilience the entire time to get through it no matter what, god i fucking love him!!! He is a fighter.

Jeremy's perspective is sooooo refreshing. He is such a little sweetheart i could cry. The fact that he sends hand written letters and he's so caring and genuine but he can also be so stern. When he dropped that "i asked you a question" to Lucas fkehdjdfjdh OK SIR. I'M SAT. His relationship with the family butler is so endearing as well i need more background on that for sure! My only one criticism is that he didn't have enough pov chapters and i'm hoping we'll learn more in the second book of course because there's still so much about him and his (dysfunctional? toxic?) family dynamic that we don't know yet but also i'm greedy and i wanna know EVEYTHING about him !!!

Kevin and Jean are so just tragic it actually breaks my fucking heart like "you didn't have to slit my throat on the way out" JEAN??? and "promise me you won't try again. I can't lose you." KEVIN??? And the fact that Jean to this day is still keeping that promise. Also Jean's obvious but secret long term crush on Kevin the way it's subtly dropped every time Jean has to stamp down on his desire's and "temptations" GOD PLEASE I CAN'T STAND IT

SPEAKING OF!!! BISEXUAL JEAN ??? BI JEAN??? BI JEANNNN !!!!

Neil and Jean oh my God like where do i even start?? The guilt Jean feels at what happened to Neil in the Nest and him finally calling him by his name after Riko's death and telling him his game was good. And Neil seriously needs to give himself more credit for how much of a caring person he is because the way he indirectly told Jean that he thinks he is worth saving and didn't even hesitate before asking Stuart to send someone after That Guy after what Jean told him. Neil Josten the man that you are!!!

Jean's little sister Elodie what a beautiful name. Them being so close and him reading to her. The way he found out about her death jolted me differently. It was so awful and i'm so sorry Jean didn't get to see her grow up and meet her again.

Renee and Jean oh my god. Jean thinking she's beautiful (bitch me toooo) And the whole right person wrong time ugh i can't stand it. Him wearing her necklace all the time, enough that Jeremy always notices it. And unabashedly stealing her picture from the foxes lounge. Like he did not give a fuck. He said this one is mine. One good reason to stay alive being rainbows i'm gonna FKSJSKDHDH. Theirs would be such a soft love.

Speaking of soft loves Laila and Cat are EVERYTHINGGGG. God they are so cute with their little domestic life and their rich gay boy son who crashes on their couch with his cardboard cut out dog. That whole friendship dynamic is beautiful. Their fierce protectiveness and care over Jean as well and the patience they have with him even after the little kitchen incident. When Cat took Jean out for a drive on her motorcycle god that was such a heart warming moment and Jean helping them cook as well and becoming the girls' little sous chef it's so cute so endearing !!!

FINALLY FINALLY THE JEREJEAN DYNAMIC

PLEASE I'M GONNA SCREAM

Jeremy being the one who told Jean that Riko was dead i don't even know what to begin with THAT like hhhhhhh. The way they're both stupidly attracted to each other but won't/can't do anything about it. THE WHOLE "say yes Jeremy" SCENE WTF WAS THATTT I WAS GOING INSANEEEE. Both of them having to stop mid sentence when they catch the other looking FINE as hell. Jean being so obvious that even Lucas picks up on the way he looks at Jeremy. Jeremy being there to ground Jean in a Moment and helping him come down from it. Grabbing his face and telling him he's okay. Moving into the room with him to make him feel more comfortable !! The way Jean grabs Jeremy's chin (boiiiii). Jeremy constantly reminding Jean that he is NOT A RAVEN ANYMORE no matter how many times he has to say it. Jeremy saying he'll wait as long as it takes until Jean speaks to him. JEREMY GIVING HIM A HUG AND JEAN CLUTCHING DESPERATELY TO HIS SHIRT FUUCUFHDHSJHSSUHDH and then the "will you help me?" And the "Anything you need" AND THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE A CERAMICS CLASS TOGETHER?!?!?!!!! i can't i can't i can't i caaan'ttt

There's so much more to say but i'm gonna leave it at this for now because i need to go re-read it again and take my time with it this time round but i really could not have asked for anything better Nora truly outdid herself here !!! I'm forever grateful she blessed us with this after so long.

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