#this is very silly and i'm not sorry

[cephalog0d]

Batfic - "Bower Birds"

(For @dangerousdan-dan, because this is all your fault! <3)

Category: Gen Rating: General Audiences Characters/Relationships: Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Stephanie Brown, mentioned Dick Grayson Additional tags: Humor, Secret Identity Shenanigans, Batbros, Agent of Chaos Stephanie Brown Words: 1,000

Summary:

Really, the whole thing was Dick’s fault. In which Damian and Tim start competitively collecting Nightwing merch, Tim's friends wildly misread the situation once they notice, and Steph is making things worse on purpose. In unrelated news, Tim will be moving to Nepal to live as a goat.

Really, the whole thing was Dick’s fault.

It all started when he found a Nightwing themed hoodie and bought it for Damian as a joke, pointing out that they would match now. Damian had, obviously, scoffed and rolled his eyes, but he hadn’t gotten rid of it, and Tim had caught him wearing it more than once (usually when Dick was gone for an extended amount of time).

And then Steph had found a hilariously bad version with a staggeringly off-center chevron and bought it for Tim, which also got an eye roll, except it turned out it was actually really soft and comfortable, which meant Tim started wearing it.

And then Damian apparently started feeling territorial, and it wasn’t like Tim was all that great at not rising to the bait when it came to Damian, and things...escalated.

There were rules. They couldn’t just make things themselves, they had to be produced by other people and not by special request. They couldn’t have the same piece of merch, so once one of them bought something it was off the table. If they both happened to get the same thing at the same time they had to compete for it. (This was quickly amended to having a neutral third party flip a coin after an incident involving a broken window and some dead rose bushes.)

It was a ridiculous competition to have, but it was also sort of fun trying to find the most random, off-the-wall merchandise they could to impress each other.

It didn’t really occur to Tim, caught up in deep diving the internet and scouring random stores for handmade things to purchase, what it looked like on the outside.

(Cont. on AO3)

[egophiliac]

don't think I'm not still obsessing over 7-12

[technically-human]

More hex-comedy

[paintedcrows]

Thief

[buttercupshands]

Waited for Tumblr poll to end to post this!

This was interesting! I might do another one one day

[scribblelimbo]

I was NOT the first one to think of the Rodger / Jessica Rabbit comparisons but I can't stop thinking about them

ALT included in image

[14dayswithyou]

💖 Day 3.5 is now available! 💖

For the last couple of months, only Server Boosters had access to the 3.5 update... Buuuuut now it's available for everyone to play in the 14DWY Discord — and soon itch.io once I'm happy with the QA and state of the game — so please don't feel pressured to join unless you want to!!

The full devlog + even more screenshots are under the cut ^^

What's been added to the 3.5 version?

📺 Streamer Mode!

I've been told that it's difficult to stream and monetise age-restricted videos on YouTube and Twitch, so I added an option to remove the sexual content and strong language used in the demo.

Now y'all can invite Ren into your bed for cuddles without putting your streamer career on the line /silly /lh

This won't affect the 18+ rating or dark themes/elements of the game, however! Although Streamer Mode will prevent you from seeing any "gruesome" CGs in the future, most of the core elements of the game will still be tied to the choices and decisions you make. So you won't miss out on the overall experience by using streamer mode!!

⚙️ Custom Pronouns!

It only took me one entire year to get around to it, but you can finally choose your own preferred pronouns (or use a set of pronouns instead)... At the cost of being able to change them mid-game ^^;

Since the original pronoun screen wouldn't update until a new scene was displayed, I temporarily disabled the feature. But once I find a workaround, I'll bring it back!

💗 Choose how others perceive you!

You can now choose how the cast and narration perceive you! Originally, the narration was kept strictly gender-neutral (outside of pronouns and genitalia picked by the player), but this will soon change in future updates.

For more clarity: you don't get to choose the words specifically, but you can choose between masculine, feminine, and androgynous terms!

📋 Separate top and bottom genitalia!

You can now choose your tatas and pps separately! >:3

Alongside that, you can also choose your preferred body type!

I removed the "both" genitalia option because a few players still assumed it was an obscure version of "intersex". That wasn't my intention and I don't want to mislead anyone, so I took it out for now ^^;

I also didn't want to include a screenshot of the new genitalia choices in action (because it's NSFW), so y'all get the same character menu screen for the nth time instead lmao

📱 Relationship Screen Overhaul!

You can now change your own status for more immersion, and long-term Server Boosters will eventually be able to submit and use their own icon within the game as well!

Stalking finding your friends has now become easier by using "Buddy Maps"; a new app that allows you to see the location of all the cast members!

I want to offer players more incentive to check the relationship screen since they tend to miss the status updates, so hopefully this might help ;v;

It also says it "updates every few hours" so folks don't go overboard and check every 5 seconds to see where Ren is gdsghf (also keep in mind that he's a hacker lol)

🖤 Additional Scenes Update!

Day 2 received a brand new CG!!!!! Originally, I planned on only adding a few CGs sporadically throughout the game, but it didn't feel right to leave Day 2 so... empty... so I added a brand new CG to (hopefully) make things feel more balanced and natural!

If you decline Teo's offer on Day 3, Leon will now call and try to convince you to reconsider. However, players are still allowed to decline, and if they do, they'll reach a dead end.

After listening to feedback on itch, I changed some of the dialogue during Days 1-3 to make it seem more consistent! They're only small changes though, so it's honestly not worth looking for sdgjssga

🎶 Updated BGM and SFX!

I wanted to try out a different style of music to see if it fits the vibe of 14DWY more! The BGM features more acoustics to suit the "beachy" theme of Corland Bay, though I made a conscious effort to include piano elements as well to stay true to the original!!

I figured it'd be better to give players a live example before I make a poll (to see if they prefer the change or not) and publish it to Itch.

Some new SFX have also been added, though it's very minimal and honestly not that noticeable.

How to download and play the update?

(warning: clicking on the following links will open Discord!!) To download the Day 3.5 update, simply join the 14DWY Discord server, verify your age, and visit the "14dwy-updates" channel!

Alternatively, you can also wait until the update is publicly released on Itch to play it as well!! (It normally gets released shortly after a round of QA testing/getting feedback from the server, though I may release it earlier if I feel like it hehe ^^)

Enjoy!!

[wildflowercryptid]

i'm about to pass out at my desk, but have this stupid ass doodle i did before i go sleep.

[remyfire]

[pythonmoth]

cw: post-traumatic stress disorder. brief mentions of war. brief mentions of severed limb (by a bomb). simon is a veteran. simon has a prosthetic leg. one talking snake.

this is inspired by His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman.

Simon Ghost Riley x f!Reader.

First | Next

Never Gonna Be Alone.

The battlefield was never calm, always aggressive, but times had been hard and that year they had less soldiers than ever before. Simon made the mistake of getting too close, desperate to cover more ground.

In an instant, he flew into the sky with a big booming sound, pain blooming in his leg. When he fell to the ground he couldn't hear or feel anything for a few minutes, the air gone from his lungs.

Somewhere beside him, he could hear Riley whimpering and whining in pain, even if it was hard to tell with the guns going off. Mostly, he heard him in his mind, and his heart. He blindly reached out, patting the ground until he found him, dragging himself next to Riley, holding onto him. He could smell the blood on his fluff but he held tight, their bond trembling with the intensity of their agony.

Gunshots, bombs, and screams made his head spin, daemons disappearing into golden dust left and right, soldiers falling dead to the ground. At some point, somebody grabbed him and dragged him back, and Simon finally realized what was wrong with him.

He wailed in pain, not letting go of Riley, keeping him right against his chest. Whenever his hands faltered, nearly passing out from shock, Riley would bite onto his uniform, keeping them close.

Another bomb going off next to his head made Simon wake up with a choked gasp, making Riley flinch awake as well. His sleepy eyes immediately alert as he stared at Simon, his fluffy ears straight up. Riley's eyes were questioning.

"Sorry, buddy. Nightmare" he said, rubbing his face hard. He reached out, purposely ignoring Riley's grunts and the rolling of his eyes, and pulled him closer, holding onto him, pressing his face into his daemon's fluff.

Riley's body curled around his head and rested his wet nose against Simon's neck, breathing steadily. That night, as many others, they gave each other comfort, and fell asleep again.

The next morning, Simon was greeted with great news.

"Two healthy babygirls" his brother told him, gripping onto Simon's shoulder, beaming so brightly that it was impossible not to smile back.

"I'm happy for you both. How's the missus?" he asked, handing Tommy a mug of coffee.

"Tired as fuck. She told me how she was gonna kill me, explicitly, if I got her pregnant again" Tommy chuckled, his face filled with love, the mug forgotten in his hand. His brother was glowing. "I just came back to take a shower while she sleeps, and then I'm off".

Simon smiled, shaking his head. He liked Beth so much he swore he would kick Tommy if he ever fucked it up.

"You don't have to leave. You know this" a voice grunted from Tommy's shoulder.

Simon looked at the little chinchilla, smiling at her. "I know, Lili. Still, I can't have my nieces living with all my brats in the backyard".

"Don't you dare calling them brats. They're more likeable than you are" Tommy said, rolling his eyes.

Riley's tail was sweeping against the floor next to Simon, amused by his brother's comment.

"Shut up. I'll be less than an hour from here, so you won't even notice Riley and I left" Simon sighed.

Riley made a little noise of annoyance when Lili jumped from Tommy's shoulder, head first into his side.

"Oi, stop bullying Riley" Simon warned her, playful. Riley's tail started swaying faster as the chinchilla went to chase it.

When Tommy told him they were expecting, Simon started looking for a new house nearby. Just forty minutes from there, in a small town, Simon found a house big enough for his pond, and close enough to visit his family as often as they wished. He bought it without much thought.

The pond was finished by the time Beth's tummy was as big as his brother's head.

It was ready to move in to.

"Are you sure?" Tommy question him again.

"Positive. Besides, the missus will need her space, and so will you".

"You are not a burden, Simon" Lili scolded him gently, nibbling on Riley's tail, which had gone still. "You are family".

"What she said" Tommy nodded, staring intently at Simon.

Riley growled lowly, affection heavy in their bond. Playfully, Riley chomped on Lili's little head, making her squeak in contentment. They went off, chasing each other and playing next to the pond.

"When are you moving, then? At least let me help you with the gars" his brother insisted. Simon rolled his eyes.

"Bloody hell, you're so annoying. Fine, have it your way".

A few weeks later, Simon said goodbye to the happy family, promising to come back when they had the time. "If you want a day off, I'll come and take care of the babies" Simon offered. Beth was so happy for his offer that she nearly cried.

Tommy smiled.

And then Simon and Riley were off.

The town was small but it was perfect for his retirement. Riley was still jumpy sometimes, so the quiet atmosphere would really help them.

Over the next few days, Simon slowly eased his alligator gars into the pond, the bass, the turtles, the catfish, even the carp that had survived their sharp teeth, now part of the family.

Riley would sleep under the sun for hours, would sometimes jump over the pond just to annoy the fish, and eat his fill pressed to Simon's leg on the floor.

Ever since Simon lost his leg, making Riley lose his as well, his daemon never spoke a word again. Traumatized into silence because of the shock.

It wasn't uncommon for people in the military. Some daemons never spoke again, some went blind, and some, if small enough, never let others see them if they could help it.

They could communicate easily, as their bond was untouched, but it was never words. It was a feeling, a tug in Simon's heart. And it was enough.

During the first month they moved in, his neighbors tried to come and welcome him, but most only stared at his face, then at his daemon, and would quickly scram.

Simon could tell Riley found it insulting. It was only a prosthetic leg, and a few cuts on their faces from the battlefield. They weren't criminals, they were retired soldiers.

Not a bit of respect, or kindness, in their faces.

Only pity and fear.

"I know, buddy. Come on, let's feed the brats" he said, flicking Riley's fluffy ear.

Riley was the first to notice.

Simon was feeding the bass, when Riley sent a tug through their bond. He got up and walked over.

"What's wrong?"

Riley growled to the pond, his head pointing to the turtle.

"What's wrong with Lemon?" he asked, confused. Riley sent worry through their bond.

Simon started counting them, and he finally understood.

"Oh, that little dickhead. She must be somewhere" he snarled, worried, and also incredibly upset.

If the turtle was hurt because he made a mistake with the pond, he would never forgive himself.

He looked everywhere in the backyard, even threw his GoPro camera into the pond to check if she was hiding between the rocks, but he found nothing.

Just as he was thinking of sucking it up and asking his neighbors, somebody knocked on his door. Riley walked over first, waiting to be seen first as soon as Simon opened the wooden door.

Simon's lips parted slightly as a young woman smiled up at him. She was pretty, dark circles under her eyes and curly eyelashes.

Riley's head tilted to the side.

"Hello. Is this one yours?" she asked. Simon looked down, staring at the green turtle in her hands.

"Fuck! I couldn't find you anywhere. I was so worried, dammit" he told the turtle, gently taking it from her hands.

While Simon placed the turtle back in the pond, Riley observed the girl standing at the door. She was blinking, surprised. Her eyes turned to him.

"Are you his daemon?" she asked, her tone gentle. Riley nodded once, his ears straight up.

"Nice to meet you" she told him, smiling at him. "I think I'll... close the door" she chuckled, gripping the door's handle.

Riley stood up from where he was sitting, catching her attention, and that's when Simon came back. The girl let go of the door handle.

"I'm so sorry. I was so worried I forgot to even say hello before I stormed away" Simon said, rubbing the back of his head. "I— thank you for bringing her".

The girl smiled and waved away his apology, her eyes flickering down for one quick moment. "That's fine. I was just saying hi to—"

"What happened to your leg?" a little voice hissed from inside the girl's hoodie. The tone was incredibly curious, not a bit judgy. Simon's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. Even Riley growled lowly in amusement.

The girl turned bright and gently smacked her chest, making the daemon hiss in annoyance, and took a step back. "I'm so sorry, please ignore her. I'm so glad your turtle is back and— yeah, hm. Bye. Yeah. Goodbye".

Simon and Riley shared a look, before turning back to the girl, who was hissing at her daemon, tugging on the hoodie.

"Viper! That wasn't nice! What if you made him feel sad? You can't just ask that!" she scream-whispered, not looking back at them even once. "Ugh, you're helpless!"

Simon couldn't help but smile as he closed the door. He turned to look at Riley.

Riley's tail was swaying across the floor, lazy and... content, he realized. There was endearment in their bond.

Simon raised his eyebrow. When their eyes met, Riley growled softly, his tail swaying faster.

What? he seemed to say.

"Come on, buddy. We still gotta feed the rest" Simon mumbled, his eyes twinkling.

well!! this happened.

Riley is an Alaskan Malamute and Viper is, you guessed it, a Mexican Black Kingsnake. i just think she's neat.

daemon. long story short, daemons are a representation of their inner-self. that's the "real" shape of their soul. because of Simon's past, Riley became a big dog to protect them, if that makes sense. they all have a mind of their own, but they're one w their person.

why a snake? snakes are cool, but I might pull a reason out of my sleeve at some point. i won't include a picture, but the mexican black kingsnake is beautiful. I was thinking of a rattlesnake too, but I liked this one better.

taglist: @kittygonap @rayrayyio

[egophiliac]

looking at next month's schedule and between the end of 7-12 and the wishing lantern event it's like

February is officially RIDDLE MONTH, brace yourselves to be absolutely blasted into ashes everybody

[solarmorrigan]

Written for Day 3 of @steddie-week

Prompt: Mutual Pining | Rated: E | Additional Tags: Modern AU, Masturbation, Sexual Fantasy, Hypothetical Top!Eddie/Bottom!Steve

-

Need more trope reversal with gay!Steve and still-thinks-he's-straight!Eddie obliviously pining after each other

Like, Eddie isn't into guys, but it's fine that Steve is. It's cool! Eddie is super supportive! He even helps vet Steve's dates. And whatever anyone (coughRobincough) says, he is not overly invested in Steve's love life. Sure, he might judge potential partners a little harshly, but it's for one of his best friends! Steve is great, and he deserves the best; it's not Eddie's fault so many guys fail to live up to standards.

Meanwhile, Steve is quietly dying, because he's been into Eddie since forever, but Eddie is straight, and he has to sit there and listen to Eddie extol his virtues and talk about how he deserves someone great while not being romantically interested in him whatsoever. But Steve also never claimed he isn't pathetic, so he'll take what he can get; maybe dating a guy who Eddie deems worthy will be almost as good as getting to be with Eddie himself?

Anyway, that train wreck is happening, and it all sort of comes to a head one night when Steve comes home to their shared apartment from yet another date, visibly frustrated and a bit disappointed, and Eddie isn't one to say I Told You So (much), but he had told Steve so. He'd said he hadn't liked the look of the guy's profile picture; Eddie has a sense about these things.

But still, he asks, "Bad date?"

Steve shrugs. "It wasn't- terrible."

"Oh, high praise."

"Well, it wasn't!" Steve gives a little laugh. "I mean, he was... nice."

"He bored you, didn't he?" Eddie can't help himself. "I told you he would be boring, who uses a picture of themselves in a suit for their profile on a dating app?"

"He wasn't boring, he was just- nice," Steve hedges. "A little too nice."

Eddie raises his brows. "Like... suspiciously nice?"

"No, not- we just weren't compatible," Steve says, still frustratingly vague.

Eddie is silent, staring at Steve, willing him to go on.

"In bed," Steve finally elaborates with a sigh. "The sex sucked, man."

"Ah." Eddie nods sagely. And then, because - okay, not because he's overly invested in Steve's love life, thank you very much, but because he's a good friend, right? And a good ally. And - yes, fine, he's also a little curious, sue him, but because of all of that, he asks, "You don't like 'em nice?"

Steve snorts. "I'm not saying I like people to be mean, it's just - I mean, it's kinda hot, you know? Having a guy who can push me around a little - take over so I don't have to think. Like, people just kind of assume I want to be in charge, that I'm gonna take over and-" Steve shakes his head, "I dunno, that's just not really what I'm into."

Eddie nods; this is definitely important information that he needs to have, obviously, if he's going to help Steve find The Perfect Guy. And he can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to give Steve exactly what he wants - he would be so pretty, pressed into the mattress, clutching at the sheets, scrambling for purchase, for a way to channel the pleasure as he gets fucked. Who wouldn't want that?

Like, objectively. Objectively, Steve is an attractive guy, anyone can see that, so objectively he'd probably look hot while getting railed within an inch of his life. That's just science. Surely any guy who also likes guys would be into that.

Eddie realizes he's maybe been silent for too long. "So you're a pillow princess, huh?" he teases, trying to will away the image he's got in his head of Steve begging for some guy's cock, faster, harder-

"Fuck off." Steve gives Eddie a shove, but he's laughing a little. "I am not. I'm definitely not opposed to doing some work to get what I want."

The Steve in Eddie's head that for some reason won't go away shifts from arching his back while on his hands and knees to sitting in some probably undeserving guy's lap, riding him like a fucking pro, head thrown back in ecstasy, and Eddie very much needs to go now, needs to go address the completely unavoidable boner that's come up because they're talking about sex. That's just what happens sometimes. Unavoidably. Totally normal.

"Well, I'll keep that in mind. While we're hunting for your dream guy, I mean," Eddie says quickly, levering himself up off the couch and making for his bedroom as quickly as he can without being suspicious. "Sorry the date was a dud. We'll find your man, though, Stevie, despair not!"

He barely catches a glimpse of the odd look Steve is shooting him before he shuts his bedroom door. He can't think too much on it, because his brain is busy with other things - things like initiating the most confusing jerk-off session of Eddie's life.

But they were just talking about Steve and his preferences in bed, alright? It doesn't have to mean anything that Eddie's suddenly imagining it's his lap that Steve could be bouncing in, whining and crying out as Eddie thrusts up into him, hitting him just right. It doesn't have to mean anything that he imagines putting Steve on his back, imagines Steve's legs wrapped around his waist, imagines holding Steve's hips so hard he leaves finger-shaped bruises, imagines fucking Steve until he's sobbing and still begging for more, because Eddie understands what Steve needs, Eddie can give him what he wants--

It doesn't have to mean anything that Eddie comes harder into the slick clutch of his fist, imagining it's Steve's tight ass, than he has in ages.

It doesn't have to mean anything, but Eddie gets the feeling that maybe it does.

And shit, he may have to do some self reflection.

(Meanwhile, if Steve retires to his own room to have some private time with his favorite toy, fucking himself like he wishes Eddie would, shoving his own fingers in his mouth to keep from calling out his name, that's his business. And if he didn't admit to Eddie that the biggest reason the date had sucked had simply been because the date wasn't him, well - that's Steve's business, too.)

[elinordash]

SHERLOCK HOLMES FACES DEATH (1943)

+ bonus:

[palskippah]

Hii small drawing of my favorite failguy

Reference under the cut and also another drawing of what probably happens after the small drawing in the corner sjdf

Btw translation of the small drawing in the corner:

Ambrosius: A lil kiss yes or no Ballister: No

[dukeofthomas]

"Jason just needs to see things from his family's perspective and understand how much they love him (despite them never actually communicating or showing him through their actions)" is out. "The batfamily putting a single bit of effort into understanding Jason and reconciling with him on his own terms" is in.

[fisheito]

before mirage of scales: I NEED YAKUYA EVENT

after mirage of scales: ah. um. i . i don't need yakuya event so much, anymo.re... hah..a...