#this is very pre-relationship still

[coldshrugs]

in this state

characters: io laithe / estinien varlineau, alisaie leveilleur word count: 1400 rating: M; descriptions of injuries, language. note: very vague endwalker spoilers. io's friends wait by her side while she's unconscious.

She looks like shit, their Champion.

Battered and bruised, Io lays on a cot in front of where Estinien sits. Her bottom lip is torn, and shallow cuts weave across her bare shoulders and chest. Crusts of dark blood peek through the stitching, and her flesh swells around the wounds.

There is blood in her hair, in the wisps around her face, in the long strands that drape over the cot’s edge. Blood under her nails, too, grotesque in the stark fluorescent light of this room, against the crisp white sheet where someone has neatly folded her arms in feigned comfort.

Her breathing comes slow and shallow, aided by a machine the likes of which he has never seen. It whirs and some mechanism inside pumps, pulling air from the ship's interior and delivering it to her lungs via clear tubes entering her nose. Another contrivance beeps, counting each pulse. Estinien counts too. The starship Ragnarok offers little in the way of distraction, so he keeps track of each feeble breath and endures the pauses that stretch like infinity between the beeping.

They say she will wake soon. That it is only a matter of time. They say she will make a full recovery once her aether has time to replenish and she’s rested…

Not even the Fury herself could grant him enough patience for this.

Alisaie sits across from him, eyes ringed red, gripping the metal cot in place of Io’s swollen hand. She has been here longer than he has, staring down at Io, greeted only by her still face. Occasionally a tear falls between the beeps and whirs, sounding sharp against metal or solid against skin.

Does she realize he stayed behind when the others could no longer bear looking at Io in this state? Does she care that he watches them in silence?

He wishes she would go, just for a few moments. What he would say or do is a mystery–it is not in his nature to plan for something like this. Still, he needs the opportunity to be alone with Io. The girl, however, will not be moved.

“Wake up, damn you,” Alisaie whispers. She inches that much closer, hovering. Aching in a way Estinien feels, too, for her friend to show any sign of progress. “Wake up and tell me what happened to you.”

Estinien lets his head roll back, and it meets the wall with a soft thud. An engine thrums somewhere far off, vibrating softly through the cold metal. He closes his eyes and exhales. It is almost enough to distract him from the repetitive sounds, the nauseating light.

Almost.

“You’re still here.”

He opens an eye. Alisaie looks up at him with the threat of fresh tears. She sniffles.

“Aye.” He crosses his arms. For one brief moment, he considers asking her permission to stay, but he glances down at the still figure between them, and his heart lurches in his chest. No, he will remain at Io’s side until she wakes.

“You care for her, don’t you?” Alisaie asks.

Estinien scowls at the very specific emphasis in the question. He cares about a great many people, Alisaie not least among them. He cares for their causes and their well-being. But that is not what she is asking.

It hasn’t needed a name before now, this feeling. Most often, it is in his chest, unfurling softly each time Io smiles, or rests her head against his shoulder, or speaks kindness to a stranger, until he can feel nothing but her warmth. Other times it shoots up his spine, a radiant pride that strengthens his arm and steadies his aim. It is the knowledge he would follow her anywhere because there is no one he trusts more.

And now it lodges between his ribs, sharp and stinging.

He answers after a long moment.

“Aye.”

Alisaie’s eyes grow wide as if she didn’t expect his frankness. She wipes her tears and sits back. “You could’ve cleared your throat or something instead of letting me blubber all over her like a fool. It goes without saying that this better stay between us, or so help me–”

“I won’t say a thing,” he chuckles quietly. “But I’m not leaving.”

She nods and stands. “Fine. I’ll go see how the others fare. Perhaps there’s some coffee on this godsforsaken ship.” Her steps toward the door are hesitant, eyes sliding between Io on the cot and Estinien seated next to her. “If she wakes…”

“You’ll have returned before then.”

She forces a tight smile and leaves looking a fraction more hopeful.

With the room clear at last, Estinien’s focus returns to Io. Her ragged breathing, her lacerated skin.

He leans over her, a forearm on the cot, and lifts his other hand to her head. His thumb sweeps across her forehead in a delicate arc, careful to avoid the cut near her hairline. He soaks in the warmth of her skin under his hand, the softness of her hair. His fingertips trail down her face, tracing the ridge of her tattooed nose, the curve of her cheek. He burns all of it into his memory, in case–

In case.

“Come back, Io,” he says, too quiet to be heard over the machines. “Don't you want to laugh at me baring my heart to you? We are both in a state.”

And finally, finally, she moves.

Her head turns, settling into the cradle of his palm. Her mouth pulls into a pained grimace and she inhales sharply, a near-silent hiss. The machine counting her pulse speeds up. Estinien's heart beats in his throat, waiting for her eyes to open, but Io stills again.

Except for one word.

One name, scratching its way out of her parched throat.

“Zenos.”

His love, honed to a sharpened point, twists in his ribcage. He fights the urge to recoil lest he worsen her pain. Why, after all this time, after all they’ve been through and the bond he knows they share, is that name the first thing to break her silence?

Estinien hangs his head. “Not what I had in mind."

Perhaps he got ahead of himself, saw more between them than was actually there. Aymeric has, fondly, called him impulsive more than once over the years, and he is not blind to his own recklessness. Perhaps...

No. His instincts have always been strong. His feelings for Io, the signs she reciprocated them, have grown around them for the better part of a year. He is too deeply entangled to let one mention of that bastard make him second-guess what he knows to be true.

Io will have an explanation when she wakes. He is sure of it.

And he will give her time.

“Knock knock.”

He turns to the door, where Alisaie stands, a white ceramic cup in each hand. Her expression is soft as she enters, her eyes locked on the point where Estinien’s hand meets Io’s cheek. He moves away as delicately as he can and leans against the wall.

“Thought you could do with a warm drink. I forgot to ask how you take your coffee, so I just made what I like. Apologies if it's shit.” She presses the cup into his hands. “Did anything happen while I was away? Did she–”

Estinien is not a skilled liar, but Alisaie would worry more than she already does. And for Io, he can keep this secret. He shakes his head. “No. We’re still waiting.”

Maybe it's the coffee or the company, but Alisaie is in higher spirits as she returns to her vigil at Io's side. She sips her drink with a little smile, eying Estinien from behind her cup.

“What?” he asks.

“Oh, nothing...” She trails off with a smile and looks away. It is only a second or two before she turns back to him. “You will tell her how you feel, won't you?–” He groans– “She’d be absolutely thrilled, you imbecile. For reasons beyond my understanding, she thinks the world of you.”

She’s pleading now. Eager to be part of something happier than the sight between them. Even with the quiet rasp of Io’s last word ringing in his mind, Estinien cannot help but smile. Intrusive as it is, her brand of encouragement is endearing, and he can but hope she speaks the truth. 

“One day,” he says, and means it. When Io is well again, when things back home have settled, when the last traces of him have been dredged from her heart. “When the time is right.”

He takes a long drink of coffee, hums a noise of surprise at how similarly it matches his own tastes. Not bad.

Alisaie shoots him a conspiratorial smile. “I’ll hold you to that.”

[cecoeur]

How do you sleep at night? No one to hide behind Betrayed every alibi you had You had every chance to make amends instead you got drunk on bitterness And you still claim that you're innocent, it's sad

[rabbitcrimes]

When people are like Wei Wuxian was NOT suicidal it’s like. Ok sure. He just believed that his debt to the Jiangs should be paid with everything up to and including his life. And also that the moral and obvious thing to do in any situation is to put himself between anyone and harm's way. This is because he thinks he’s unkillable but he makes himself unkillable for the same reason he’ll die for a good enough reason: because it’s a way to have worth!

And then famously once everything goes to shit he does beg Lan Wangji to let him die as part of the moment where he is either destroyed by his own evil magic or lets his own evil magic tear him apart, a distinction I don't personally think matters very much at that point. Less explicitly textually, his mentally ill ass behavior after he gives up his core says to me that he wishes that he'd died honorably for Jiang Cheng when he had the chance and doesn't know what to do with himself since he hasn't.

Again I’m aware that he’s operating under a pretty specific set of culturally informed norms as a cultivator and member of a sect but like. TO ME. Everything about how Wei Wuxian conducts himself indicates that he has a box in his mind at all times that says 'in case of emergency break glass' and what’s inside the box is his own death. All the sound of mind actions of a man who has a normal and not suicidal relationship to death.

[theluckiestlb]

as a self-identified adrienette girlie....kinda miss them, ngl.

[8cfc00]

Okay but linc is such a good character??? His development this season has been amazingly consistent and COMPELLING... PLUS, hes not only a good character on his own, but the way he adds to the other teens' arcs is. so good. i think thats why hes shipped with literally almost every other teen... its because his relationships with each of them is just so unique and interesting.

[foggyfanfic]

Themes vs Realism

Saw an old debate about how isolated the Encanto is and it got me thinking about my own headcanons.

I watched the movie, saw the windows and wine glasses and thought “Oh! They must have trade, glass requires a specific sort of sand and while glass blowers would be relatively common, the odds they had somebody who knows how to make glass frit are pretty low”. And I can back up that argument with research and facts, buying glass is getting more expensive because we’re running low on sand with the right chemical composition, glass frit production would be more likely to happen in towns near silica rich beaches, where as Alma’s hometown looked like it was in the middle of the forest. Nowadays, not every country in the world has the right sand, when I worked with glass blowers they imported their frit from I think a family in Sweden(?) that are like one of the last few people making frit. So glass is actually a very big deal! I digress. Basically, realistically, the fact that they have glass means that they must have some trade.

But that’s completely irrelevant to the movie, isn’t it?

The movie is all about healing from generational trauma, Encanto being completely isolated is better for the movie’s themes. It’s like how we all love the deleted scene where Bruno argues with Alma and says “I wish I was dead” but the writers cut that scene because it gives Bruno confronting Alma on Mirabel’s behalf an extra bit of punch if he was never willing to do so before. Realistically, a deeply unhappy, almost forty adult who is as blunt as Bruno would have had that argument with Alma; thematically, Mirabel’s mysterious Tío couldn’t muster up the courage/passion to confront the movie’s antagonist until he was doing it for love. Realistically, it is actually necessary for Pepa to control her emotions because she can create hurricanes and that sorta disaster could wipe out the village; thematically, Pepa needs to be allowed to let her feelings flow through her without anyone snapping at her about it. Realistically they must have trade; thematically, they must be completely isolated.

There isn’t really a good way for canon to bridge this gap as far as I can tell, in story telling themes usually take precedence over realism, especially in a fantasy setting. But for a lot of people (like me) the funnest thing to do when writing fanfic is throw in a dash of realism and see what comes out of it. Obviously, the way you want to reconcile this is absolutely up to you. I personally care more about the movie sticking to themes than I do it being realistic or conforming to my background knowledge, I’m fully expecting to have most of my head canons disproven when they release more material. That said, for the sake of fic, I think asking questions like “Where are they getting the raw materials to build that” is a great launching pad.

I don’t know how to word my conclusion. That year I spent working with glass blowers is going to butt heads with my suspension of disbelief for the rest of my life? Realism is great for fanfic but not so much in short stories like movies? My head canons will never be canon and it’s better that way?

[storfulsten]

Whitty And Bf Personality Swap? Lovely Art By The Way, Truly Inspiring. ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

hm I guess k, not feeling the most creative but here lol

idk lol

mostly based on this bc idk thought the vibes looked fitting in theory lmao:

[shalpilot]

well one of us is going to have to change

[dainesanddaffodils]

FFXIV WRITE 2024 DAY 30: TWO HEADS ARE BETTER THAN ONE

Estinien overhears a conversation in Dravania | HW | Rated G | 800 words

It’s a somber walk to the eyrie. None of the party are particularly talkative but since leaving Iceheart behind to grapple with what she had learned, what little conversation there would have been with her is noticeably and uncomfortably absent.

Estinien keeps to the back, scanning the skies lest Nidhogg take a more direct approach to halting their plans. Ahead of him, Cimorene walks with Alphinaud, giving him her silent presence as comfort. For not the first time, and certainly not the last, Estinien considers that he really is just a kid.

When Alphinaud does break the silence the words are clearly for the Warrior of Light alone and so he makes no move to close the distance between them - but that doesn’t mean he can’t hear.

“-feels like the Braves again,” the boy is saying, his voice the smallest Estinien has ever heard it. None of his usual airs of confidence and maturity.

There is a beat of silence. “Oh, Alphinaud. No, this isn’t like that.”

“Isn’t it? I- I was naive again. Assumed I knew best for everyone again. And I was wrong. Again.” Cimorene makes a noise like she’s about to speak and he waves her off. “And now I must again have you clean up my mess.”

“Alphinaud,” Cimorene says again, her tone just a little harder. Estinien has noted it’s the closest she gets to yelling and Alphinaud reacts accordingly, ducking his head and falling silent.

“We all agreed to this, all right?” She continues. “It may have been your idea but that does not make it your failure. Remember, the goal was to halt the Dravanian attack before it began; we are still doing that, even if it is not the way we wanted.”

“By continuing the cycle of violence?”

Cimorene shakes her head. “Ishgard needs to change; they will need to know what their forefathers began and that their history has been built on a lie. And that will take time - the kind of time they won’t have if they have Nidhogg forever tormenting them. Hraesvelgr made it very clear that he doesn’t want Ishgard to repent, he wants them to suffer, eternally. Naught else will stop him or this war, paradoxical as it may seem.”

Estinien nearly stops walking. It’s the most he has ever heard her speak at once, he thinks, and what’s more… it is the exact argument he would have given had he been speaking to the young lord, almost word for word. It’s not the first time he’s felt as though she knows his mind, but often that mutual understanding has been as silent as she is. It is something else to hear her speak it aloud.

The boy nods. “I know, I know. I just… I had such hope…”

“I did, too. Don’t misunderstand, I’m not happy that this is how we must end this and-” She lowers her voice. “I don’t think he is either.”

Now he does freeze - part in surprise and part in order to get out of the hearing distance the Warrior of Light clearly doesn’t think he is in. Still, he doesn’t want them separating from him while they’re in a hostile environment. He shakes himself and takes a couple long strides to bring back at least the original distance between them.

He misses what Alphinaud has said, but he is still clearly the subject as Cimorene responds, “- was a surprise. I’m glad he was with us and… I am glad we will be facing Nidhogg together.”

The edge from her voice is gone again, leaving it soft and sweet and warm - even when she is speaking of facing a Great Wyrm. She’s a very fascinating contradiction.

“You do work well, I’ve seen,” Alphinaud observes, sounding also a little more like himself. Estinien is grateful for anything that makes him less dejected - even if that is… him, apparently. “I wonder if… never mind.”

Cimorene makes a questing noise but Alphinaud doesn’t say more, instead looking over his shoulder at Estinien and raises his voice. “Ah, you are still with us; you were so quiet I thought we might have lost you.”

He huffs. “Funny. Someone has to keep an eye on the sky. We are far from safe out here.”

Cimorene, having followed Alphinaud’s backward glance, says nothing at first, regarding him with a small smile. In that look alone he knows she knows that he has listened to the entire conversation. She places a hand over mouth to smooth it back down and turns away again.

“He’s right - we should pick up the pace.”

Without another word she takes her own advice, continuing briskly on their path. Alphinaud makes a startled noise and quickly lengthens his strides to catch up.

Estinien hesitates a second longer, then shakes his head and follows.

[destructive-delight]

microdosing on friendship by hanging out in chat on streams with less than 15 viewers

[chuchayucca]

Tbh I'm surprised nobody else has brought up the idea of Richard being abused too

It feels like a lot of potential for it and an explanation (aside from their status) as to why Roy never got help for it either -- Richard thought it was normal.

Now this is just making me imagine a scene where Carmen remarks that Roy will "grow out of it" (it being his behavior) like Richard did in front of the other Hatz and Ross and Robert just share a Look

Anddd now I'm wondering how much Carmen knows

TW for discussions of fictional CSA/SA and mentions of alcoholism

Me too, I thought it would be an obvious assumption but I guess not.

Exactly, I’ve seen the fandom explore Carmen and Roy’s relationship regarding his CSA but never with Richard. I think it’s ashamed because there’s a lot you can write for the relationship, even outside of their CSA.

Omg that’s a good scene idea. The Hatzgang are realized there is a deeper issue, and Roy has to unfortunately unpack that generational trauma. I can see how learning his dad is a possible CSA victim, like him, starts pushing Roy to tell his parents but also discourages him because basically Richard unknowingly knew Roy was SA but never recognized it because he doesn’t know he was SA too. I also believe Richard normalized his brother’s actions too. It’s truly devastating how Richard indirectly contributed to the normalization of Roy’s abuse but he doesn’t know it’s SA. He believes those fun “games” him and his brother played were normal family bonding activities and is happy to hear his son is getting along with his brother, a brother he admired when growing up.

These headcanons might change as the series continues and the deeper I get into research.

I headcanon Carmen doesn’t know anything but has suspected something was off a few times. She never thought anything of Richard’s behavior at first because he alway been this way. When they became adults, she started questioning as Richard still had issues with intimacy at that point in their relationship and his alcoholism was at its worst. (Short ver: Richard started drinking at a young age to cope with trauma of his SA and the Uncle encouraged this, buying him alcohol for various reasons. Modern day, Richard is a functional alcoholic but has gotten better with his drinking)

As of the moment, Roy’s parents are unaware of Roy’s CSA. The day the Uncle died, Roy did get in trouble but for separate reasons. Carmen and Richard were mad at Roy for hanging out with “plebeians” and sending them to one of his uncle’s private properties. Roy doesn’t feel comfortable telling them yet because they’re snobby, judgmental people, so he assumes they won’t react well.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

The issue of power is so interesting (or something) to see because yes, from an economic perspective Taylor undoubtedly has more sway -- she's one of the most famous people on the planet, she's a billionaire, her every move is followed, etc. So I can almost sort of understand the concern, in another scenario, where some people may expect that she could crush her detractors (For instance, I'm thinking about how Harvey W. silenced his victims as a Hollywood mogul, or how corporate titans silence whistleblowers which I feel are analogies some people may turn to. Or maybe we've all just watched too much of the Roys on Succession.)

I said this in the tags of a post the other day I think, but I think some of the discourse is kind of conflating power with platform. And yes, Taylor undoubtedly has a bigger platform, again by virtue of her fame and position in the media/industry. But part of that is that she's visible in these areas, and her presumed subjects aren't, of their own choice. If any of these subjects ever chose to spoke out, or make art based on their experiences, or pursue opportunities in the media/public eye, they would absolutely be given a platform for it. (Going way back, think of how JM used the media to give his side of the story through his music and his interviews after their split. And I'd argue he was probably way more public/direct about it than she ever was.)

If any of these people decided they wanted their side of the story out there, it would be and it would absolutely be turned into a story. (And arguably that may already be starting but that's a whole other thing.) And this is just my opinion, but given that the subjects of these topics are often privileged white men, I'd argue that their sides tend to carry (more) weight regardless of their economic status in relation to her. If JM or JG or JA or HS wrote a book or a song or a script about their experiences, even only insinuating about her, it'd be the conversation. And not to be a cupcake about it, but the media seems to always want to find something to knock her down a peg about (which, sure, journalism's job is to hold people accountable, but that's not what always happens here and we know it), so they would absolutely give this the time of day, if they chose to put anything out there.

The thing is, I do see in a superficial way that there is there is a clear difference in their socioeconomic/celebrity status, and perhaps that's perceived as a power imbalance, but that's implying that she's dictating a whole host of entities out of her control, and I just don't think she holds the sway of those that some feel she does. Don't get me wrong, she's absurdly wealthy and has influence, but so do so many other people around her, including those who don't support her. (That's the wrong word for it, but I just mean, people who aren't in her circle/sympathetic to her.) And as I've posted about so so so many times before, THESE OTHER PEOPLE (men) ARE WEALTHY AND IN THE PUBLIC EYE TOO. They are all in careers that entail celebrity and involve their own influence in the media. These are not shrinking violets in private civil life who are like, grocery store checkout clerks. They're actors and musicians and media personalities who play the same game. And even the "poorest" of these subjects for the most part are millionaires who are far, far wealthier than any of us will ever be in our lifetimes. They may choose to stay off of social media or the press when it suits them, but they could absolutely make art or give interviews about their experiences and they would command their own kind of influence. (I'd also argue that they would be given a platform thanks to Taylor's platform, but that's another thing.)

I don't want to dismiss the influence of her wealth and stature in the entertainment industry, and I feel like that's kind of where the perceived "imbalance" comes from, but to be frank, I feel like if any of these other subjects spoke out, the media would be so quick to raise their stature in the press for the sake of clicks/controversy/what have you. Critics claim that Taylor can crush any story or person who goes against her, but I think given the breadth of stories out there about her at any given time (the NYT op ed, the jet stuff, the DM stuff, etc.) I don't think that's true; I think the publicity/clicks outlets get for covering stuff, even if salacious, outweighs any concerns over upsetting her or burning bridges. (Not saying that may have not happened, but... I think it would be more obvious if it were a regular occurrence these days.) If anything, 2016 through rep kinda proves that she doesn't have the "control" of the media that some claim she does.

But most importantly, THE ALBUM ISN'T OUT YET. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT THE LYRICS ARE. Taylor gets accused of writing diss tracks, but she rarely does, and I don't think she's written an outright callout song since her Fearless/Speak Now days when she was a teenager/very young adult. Just about everything since Red on has been about her own feelings, experiences, etc. and not a literal "you did x and y and z and you're stupid and i hate you" song. She's not calling people out by name, and truly only chronically online fans are going to deduce who songs are about; five years from now, people discovering the music will just know they're bops (or depressingly sad breakup songs, as the case may be).

I don't know where I'm going with this, i'm talking in circles, it's just interesting how things are being interpreted or assumed so far. I fully acknowledge I'm a cupcake so I'm generally not going to jump to the worst conclusion about Taylor, but there's also curious sociological/gender stuff happening in these conversations. I absolutely think that if the roles were reversed and her exes were billionaire household names and she was an indie artist, nobody would ever talk about power dynamics. I think it's all moot because like so many people have said, I don't think the album is going to be what some think it's going to be, and I think it's going to be way more introspective/vulnerable/dark than what they assume a breakup album is going to be, though obviously I don't know anymore than they do. It's just funny because you never hear about this with other people. (Like, was there a big fuss when Kelly Clarkson wrote a breakup album about her ex-husband? I know she's not as wealthy as Taylor and her ex was probably wealthier than Taylor's exes, but she's someone with sway in the industry and is on TV everyday, but everyone kind of said "lol her ex was a jackass wow she writes sad banger ballads" and moved on.)

Anyway I don't want to start shit or anything, but I'm just giving my two cents about my observations of the whole media landscape stuff.

[funeralfire]

I've legitimately been thinking a lot about trans women lately and like the women I know in my life and how complex and human and real they are. Specifically because I understand the world is not kind to trans women and likes to generalize them horribly.

I know a woman who's an artist and spending her time dreaming about stars. I know another woman who's a terrible friend and manipulative as hell. I know one who's shy and sweet and so intelligent. Trans women can be so many things 💖

I really care deeply about trans women and I hope in my friend groups I'm a good ally to them and know to stand up vocally for them. Trans women deserve so much and they're given not enough. Everyone can do something to stop transphobia by speaking up when they hear it. Don't let your friends make transphobic jokes. Don't let your dad regurgitate trump's words. Protect the trans women in your life and everywhere else, they need to be loved and respected. Mwah! 🥰

[zerozeroren]

~ Hands up baby hands up baby your heart gimme gimme your heart gimme gimme ~

2020 vs 2021 vs 2023

[lyricalchrysanthemum]

pokemashe sinnoh trio relationship chart ft two joke ones

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

Hate it when people say aoc when they mean pre-calamity. Like sir no they are the same yes but they are also very different! Even before Terrako's intervention things were different!