#this is unrealistic because i would be with him on that date in the first place
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So I absolutely love all your thoughts and ideas about a fem Stan, but what about a fem Ford? I feel like that could also be a really fun dynamic. Stan trying to be the man and protecting fem!Ford from bullies, but is really just entirely wrapped around Fords fingers. And then! The jealousy could come into play in other ways! Like Stan starts dating someone and Ford is pissed about it so she leaves a lipstick mark on his collar or subtly sprays him with perfumes so that Stans partner thinks he was cheating and leaves him. And the obsessionnn. Imagine her stealing Stanâs shirts and sleeping in them just because they smell like him. Or staring at him while he sleeps and sketching him in her personal diary (though letâs be real, canon Ford did that too lol.) Anyways, I also like the idea of all of these pent up feeling finally coming out and her just riding Stan until he canât think straight and her being like âthatâs right, youâll never have it this good with anyone else.â Idk. Thoughts?
Hello new friend! Thank you for enjoying my thoughts and ideas about fem!Stan, and for now kickstarting a conversation about fem!Ford too! I have a lot of thoughts. So many, in fact, that before moving to the shippy part, I need to focus on Ford alone, first. What would differ, was he born a girl. Quite a lot. I��m gonna be blunt. All things Ford had been oppressed by, in canon, would hit ten times harder, if he was a girl. Take academic ambitions, for example: Iâm not saying that fem!Fordâs extraordinary intelligence wouldnât had earned her praise. I just doubt she would had been encouraged to pursue higher education, and convert her studies into a career. A jewish WOMAN into STEM? Back then? I donât think any of her teachers suggested she shoots for a prestigious university- why give her and her family unrealistic expectations? Ma and Pa would had been happy to have a smart, studious daughter, but Iâm sure the idea to invest into her studies would had been up to debate, if not shot down immediately: to spend that type of money, when her likely future job would be either high school science teacher, or museum curator- would had been a pointless waste, to someone like Filbrick Pines.
To be honest, I think teen fem!Ford would had rather been encouraged, by her parents, to attend professional classes instead, something like a typewriting course- in order to find a stable secretary job, for example, after high school. Can you imagine, someone with Fordâs potential, being told âWell honey, at least you can put those extra fingers to a practical use, if you learn to type very fastâ? Can you imagine how UTTERLY humiliated fem!Ford must had felt, all the time? Just like Ford, I think sheâd be perfectly aware what a genius she is, and how drastically sheâs been underestimated. And yet, sheâd have to take in consideration the evidence: it doesnât matter how great her mind is. They are right, thereâs no place that would want her. The only person that would root for her, ever the dreamer, would be Stanley. Heâd just take her hands, wipe her tears away, and promise, with naive, granitic certainty, that he will find a way to help her. His plans would range from completely unrealistic and cartoonish (âYa could invent a machine that turns me into a brainiac, and once Pa send me to that tech uni ya like, Iâll sneak you in the classes, and youâll take my place!â), to painfully sweet, albeit still unrealistic (âIf Pa doesnât want to support ya, Iâll take two or three jobs and pay for your studies and stuff myself!â). Stanley would look at his sister with bright eyes, and a huge optimistic grin, stating that sheâs the smartest gal that ever existed, so thereâs NO WAY she wonât become some posh scientist and prove everyone in Glass Shard Beach wrong. Every time Stanley would pull his stupid, naive, adoring Protector Knight acts, fem!Ford would feel so angry at herself for blushing, and for her heart-rate speeding up. Because itâs so intoxicating to be believed in, but she canât afford to fall for Stanleyâs overly-hopeful view of her condition, and she canât afford to fall for him either. And this brings me to yet another point I wanted to make: self-esteem, and societal expectations.
If canon Fordâs hands got him bullied, and classified as freak- for a girl, they would had also been a mark of ugliness and considered remarkably un-feminine. I bet F., as a little girl, suffered a lot for having more in common with the grotesque antagonistic creatures of her favorite books, rather than the princess. And Iâm sure EVERYONE around her didnât fail to make her notice too. In subtle ways, sometimes. Like her mom suggesting she gets ear-rings, for her birthday, rather than bracelets, because it would be best not to concentrate more attention on those, right? Even if teen fem!Ford would act aloof, as if she didnât care anymore, sheâd be so self conscious about her large palms and extra fingers- so unfeminine and gross- sheâd fantasize about chopping them off quite often. If Stanley hadnât happily held her hand throughout their childhood, and âmade funâ of how tiny her hands look in his large ones, as teenagers, maybe she would have, in a fit of self-hate. Thing is, fem!Ford would hold grudges and set secret standards in her head. Itâs not like she thinks sheâd never be able to get a boyfriend, despite her hands: she doesnât look horrible, sheâd be pretty, even, if she cared for her appearance like her moms begs her to do- but F. wouldnât be able to suppress the burning conviction that âNo other man but Stanley deserves meâ. Other men may want her despite her hands, but Stanley was there since the beginning, telling her her hands make her more special than any other girl, like she was magical, like she belong in the fairy tales book she used to read aloud to him. What a stab to the heart, then, that she canât have him. Not only because they are siblings, but because, just like you said, Stanley would date someone else. Carla, and some other stupid bitch that F. would need to get rid of, because they donât deserve Stanley like she does neither! I love all the strategies you listed, to âmark her territoryâ and push other girls away!! I love toxic, jealous girlies!! I donât condone Fordâs yanderism, but fem!Ford has my blessing. She can be a creep, as a treat. As for the part you mentioned, about fem!Ford snapping and riding Stan- YES I also agree, AND Iâd like to add to it. In this AU, Stanley isnât a misogynist in the classic sense: he doesnât consider his sister an inferior at all. But⌠he would not be immune to absorbing the Madonna-whore complex:Girls like Carla- he can fool around with, because they are that kind of girls. Promiscuous, slutty- bad girls. But his sister is different. Sheâs so virtuous, so smart- his pure, innocent little sister. Stanley would NEVER lay a finger on her. Yes, he may admit to himself he is in love with her, which is also horrible, but at least he would never, ever sexualize her. Cue Stanley playing dumb, or finding excuses to weasel away, whenever fem!Ford flirted with him, or even made clear advances- during the entire length of their teenage years. Until fem!Ford just. Decided she couldnât take it anymore, stripped naked, slipped into Stanâs bed, and grinded and kissed his neck until he caved, lmao. I have even more thoughts, but itâs getting late, here. I must cut the yapping short, for now. Please, feel free to come chat again, and throw more ideas of your own at me! Thank you for this one, MMMMWAH, baci baci!
#stancest#fem!Ford#please help me find a girl name for Ford as good as âConstanceâ is for Stanley
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listen i just don't think that leafpool should get heaven married with a guy from a very brief fling she had as a young adult (the consequences of which ruined her entire life) that treats her poorly in most of their interactions, would not defend her when their relationship came to light, and is shown to be a shitty husband and neglectful father in his relationship afterwards. but idk this is still going to happen when crowfeather dies anyways and the only potential conflict in this happening whatsoever is going to be feathertail being offhandedly mentioned to be petty and jealous about it or something. because warrior cats can't let a woman win and especially cannot let leafpool win
#the more time goes on the more i CANNOT get the leafcrow appeal in any way but a doomed one#even if they werent as bad for each other as i think theyd be why would she want to dedicate her afterlife to this guy#i remember when the 'will graystripe pick silverstream or millie in starclan' debates were going on people were (fairly) like#'ummm why would he choose the girl he high school dated for a couple months over his long term wife'#and i get that. even though silverstream is based and millie is cringe i do get that#but why doesnt the same logic ever apply to leafpool and crowfeather LOL#not saying crowfeather should be with feathertail or nightcloud either though obviously LOL#Listen. the only reason why crowfeather remains attractive to leafpool after their fling is because she hasn't known him enough#to get over that initial idealisation and fantasy that drew her to him in the first place#she wanted out of the clans and then it got cut short but she STILL wants out of the clans but now it's MORE unrealistic#she is projecting that desire onto him like crazy and that is the only reasoning i can think of for why she can even stand that guy
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(on first date)
Me, to myself: dont bring up csoĂłri sĂĄndor
Her: soâ
Me: mondjĂĄtok: mikor lĂĄttatok vendĂŠgĂźl esĹt utoljĂĄra? mikor fektettetek magatok mellĂŠ nagyhajĂş, dĂŠli szelet? csĹ-horkolĂĄsokat hallok az ĂĄgyatok felĹl, nagy Ăźregek visszhangjĂĄt ĂŠjrĹl ĂŠjre, soha egy nyĂĄrfa dorombolĂĄsĂĄt ĂĄlmotokban, soha egy madĂĄrkĂŠnt fĂślhussanĂł hĂĄztetĹ reccsenĂŠsĂŠt
#this is unrealistic because i would be with him on that date in the first place#csoĂłri sĂĄndor#zsĂłfi rambles
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After All This Time (kmg)
When you're asked to be on the wedding party of a long-lost friend, you get the chance to reconnect with former classmate Mingyu, but not without your old feelings and struggles resurfacing.
pairing: groomsman!mingyu x bridesmaid!reader
w.c: 18,7k
genre: friends to lovers, fluff, smut, minor angst, it's another self-indulgent 'running away from your high school past' story from me.
warnings: alcohol consumption, a lot of not standing up for oneself, kind of unrealistic wedding timeline (i've never been a bridesmaid so bare with me), mingyu has no flaws here because... im in love with him, this might be badly written I can't really tell anymore | smut: it's messy, and rough, face sitting, unprotected penetration (don't do this), multiple orgasms (f). lmk if im missing anything
still into you by paramore - i often listened to this song while writing this. i wasn't particularly inspired by it but the title did come from its lyrics, and i think it's pretty fitting
The unopened letter stares at you from across the table. Trying to ignore it by doing your housekeeping chores is pointless. Scrubbing your toilet, doing your laundry, making your bed, and even cooking your meal preps for the entire week, nothing managed to take your head away from that stupid letter, wondering what could possibly be.
You and Olivia havenât spoken properly since graduating high school many years ago. The last time you had a full-on conversation with her was when she told you she started seeing a new guy freshman year in college, someone who went to your same high school but never knew. Besides that, your only form of âcommunicationâ was liking each other's Instagram stories and the yearly happy birthday text. A letter from her addressed to you was the last thing you expected to see today, or ever.
Curiosity finally wins as you take it and inspect it up close. The pastel pink envelope with golden details feels sturdy in your hands, and the wax seal is stamped with two initials, O and T. The boyfriendâs name appears in your memory as the realization hits you. Olivia and Thomas.
This is a wedding invitation.
Opening the envelope just confirms your thoughts, but thereâs more to it than just a mere invitation. Just below some details such as dress code and the plus one, thereâs a part specifically addressed to you asking you to be one of Oliviaâs bridesmaids. Your stomach turns, anxiety, and excitement battling it out in each of your organs. For one, itâs really heartwarming that she thought of you as a friend still and wants you to be a part of such a special day as her wedding. On the other side, itâll be awkward to see everyone again after such a long time, because, weirdly enough, you never encountered anyone you knew ever again, even if you didnât move away and still frequented same places as before.
Except, maybe that anxiety is just because of one person, whoâs probably going to be more than involved in this wedding. Cassie, your other best friend.
Being a trio was never a problem. Actually, itâs probably the better friend group arrangement for you. The three of you got along immediately since the first day of middle school and never looked back. It was always fun and comfortable, you thought you had found your best friends for life. But something happened around the age when girls start noticing boys, when everyone starts going on dates, flirting, kissing, getting into relationships. Thatâs when you realized you and Cassie had the exact same type. It became almost like a routine: youâd notice a cute guy around school but didnât say anything, and the next thing you know, at the next party Cassie would also notice him and hook up with him. You were sure you were in your very own Truman Show.
Was it partially your fault for not saying anything? Maybe, but did it have to happen with literally every single guy you were ever attracted to? It reached a point where you would constantly doubt yourself, compare yourself to her, was she cooler? Prettier? Smarter? Funnier?
In the end, it wasnât her fault, and youâd never blame her for that, but for your own good and the wellness of your crumbling self-confidence, you had to get away from that situation. And you did. At least until now. But itâs been years, youâre not the same person you were back in high school, and hopefully, all of your self-doubting was also left in the past.
A sky-high, lavish building stands before you in all of its glory. You were no stranger to your old friendâs rich family, but her lifestyle always managed to take you by surprise.
Olivia wanted all the bridesmaids and groomsmen to meet and get comfortable with each other, so she and her fiancĂŠ arranged a little afternoon party at their apartment. Over the few texts you exchanged with Olivia, she failed to mention the other people on the wedding party. So during the elevator ride, you think of every possibility, who could be there that you know? With how many people from school has she kept in contact with? Will you know the groomâs friends?
The doorbell rings inside the busy apartment, and a few seconds later youâre welcomed by your old friend with a bright smile. You hug Olivia tightly, the weirdness of the situation fading away for a few seconds. Afterward, you greet everyone with a shy smile, recognizing some faces and encountering new ones. Some people are standing in groups of three or four, while others sit on the couch or a few scattered chairs, talking with each other comfortably.
âWhile we wait for the last people to arrive, I want to start telling you what I have planned.â
Olivia announces as you walk away slowly, and you find an empty wall by the hallway to rest against.
At least twenty minutes pass, in which Olivia doesnât take one breath, her happiness and excitement showing through her endless words. The wedding plan is not really out of the ordinary, but the scale of things, thatâs the impressive part. She has seven bridesmaids, including you, plus the maid of honor who hasnât arrived yet, and her fiancĂŠ has the same number of grooms, plus the best man. Each of you will pair up throughout the days coming up to the ceremony, and on the big day, each pair will have matching outfits and even a dance scheduled after the coupleâs first dance as a married couple. Her idea was essentially thought so no one would feel out of place and enjoy the ceremony, because it should be a happy day for everyone.
While she explains everything for the second time, you take your time to look around the big room full of people. Scanning every face, there isnât really a lot of girls you know, but the groomsmen, on the other hand, all of them went to your same high school. It seems Oliviaâs fiancĂŠ still hangs out with his same group of friends. One of them, in particular, sparks a little smile across your face.
Mingyu was the only other person you considered a real friend in school. As scary and anxiety inducing as it is to have classes without your small friend group, he made it more than bearable, enjoyable even. Becoming friends with the nerdy boy assigned as your lab partner is one of the things you remember fondly about those years of your life. He was like a breath of fresh air during all the turmoil. Would he remember you?
His eyes catch yours from across the room, and an instant smile forms across his lips. After all the years that passed, he still looks the same. Heâs much more mature and fully over puberty now, his broad bulky frame being one of the more standing out new things about him, but youâd recognize that confused expression and toothy smile with fangs peeking out anywhere. Your mood rapidly improves as he mouths a âhiâ and waves his hand lightly at you, not wanting to interrupt the bride to be. You repeat his greeting with a growing grin, but your small interaction is cut short.
âAnd Y/Nie,â your name catches your attention, and you turn to Olivia, âyou and Mingyu will be our last pair. Is that okay?â
The relief is immediate. It might be a little awkward, but at least youâll be with someone you know. You and Mingyu look at each other once again and then nod at her, but before she can continue with whatever she is saying, the entry door opens behind her.
âHi everyone!â The familiar voice makes your stomach drop, âIâm sorry Iâm late. My boss wouldnât let me go.â
âItâs fine. Itâs nothing the maid of honor hasnât heard before.â Olivia replies to her with a chuckle.
She looks the same too, only with longer hair and more mature features on her face. Her body language holds the same coolness, as sure of herself as she was when you were younger.
âOh my god! I havenât seen you in so long!â When she greets you, you straighten your posture, put on your best smile, and hug her back. âHow are you doing?â
âHey Cassie, good, good, just working my life away!â
You joke and try to ease up your emotions. Your few words manage to satisfy her as she nods with a smile, walks away, and pecks one of the groomsmen â her boyfriend? â on the lips before sitting by his side.
The schedule is easy for Olivia to finish explaining it, so in no time, food starts rolling in, and conversations pop up between everyone, either catching up or normal everyday chats. Cassie starts telling a story about something that happened earlier at her job, but you donât really understand it. You havenât talked to them in so long, you donât know what they do for a living, or where they work. You donât know them anymore, and youâre too afraid to ask.
To the side, a couple of people over, Mingyuâs talking with the rest of the grooms' friends comfortably. You want to talk to him, but what would you say? Itâs not like you were the closest of friends. You never hung out outside of the school, and your friend groups never actually interacted until now. Actually, you never told Olivia and Cassie about him. Maybe because you were afraid that if you introduced him to Cassie, heâd swoon over her like the rest of the guys you ever interacted with romantically.
An uneasy feeling creeps in on you as memories of your past fight to climb up on your memory. Feelings and thoughts you havenât felt in years come back up, almost reliving everything in a matter of milliseconds. You need to talk to someone, take your mind off of your overthinking. Because this is not the time nor the place to get so gloomy.
You get to talk with the rest of the bridesmaids, and the anxiousness of it all starts bubbling down, and youâre much more comfortable. A couple of them are close family friends with Olivia, also as rich as her, but still really nice girls, even if a little airheaded, and the rest are friends from college.
Time passes by easily, and soon enough, the sun is already set.
On the ride back home, your mind starts spiraling again. Do you even fit in with all those people? An invite to her wedding wouldâve been just fine, but a bridesmaid? You feel like a total stranger, someone from her past whoâs meddling around trying to sneak into a place she purposely left behind. At least you wonât have to see anyone ever again after the wedding is over.
It is said that changing your usual routine helps improving your mood, taking another path home, shopping at a new place, sitting down at a different park, trying a new coffee order, changing the little things to feel more energized and be more productive. You wouldnât know, because every task you complete as fast as possible to be back home quickly. So, after days of not being able to think about anything else but the upcoming wedding, itâs your only option left.
With the sky lit up with golden light, the grass and trees as green as ever, and a light breeze that prevents you from getting too hot, you walk around a park youâve never been to before, with your new âhot girl walkâ playlist as a soundtrack. The kids running around the playground are the only sounds that get through your ears besides the music, maybe a bark or two as well, and the sun against your skin soothes all your worries. Damn. Going on a walk does fix your mood.
A hand grabbing your arm softly startles you, and youâre about to punch the mystery person when you recognize his face.
âMingyu?â
His eyes are focused on your fist that was ready to hit him, and you lower it down, beginning to take out your airpods.
âSorry! You scared me!â You erupt in a nervous laughter.
âIâm sorry! I called your name but you didnât hear me.â He stands apologetic in front of you, looking down at his feet before daring to look back up. âHow are you doing? We didnât get to talk the other day.â
âYeah! Itâs good to see you! I didnât expect you to be there, it was a nice surprise.â Is it too weird to say that? Well, itâs already done.
He gets the tiniest bit shy at your words, his ears turning a light shade of pink before disappearing quickly.
You notice a bicycle by his side, a cute pink helmet with glittery heart stickers hanging by the handle. He mustâve been biking when he saw you and took it off before calling your name.
âI didnât know if you were still friends with Olivia, I didnât know if I was going to see you either.â
You fixate on the first part of his sentence, ignoring your bodyâs reaction to him implying he wanted to see you.
âOh, weâre not really that close anymore.â Thereâs a silence as you finish your words, as it wasnât the reply he was expecting. âLife, you know? We just grew apart.â
It was you who stopped making an effort to talk to her, but even if it was still for your own good, youâre a little ashamed to admit it to Mingyu.
âShe still asked you to be her bridesmaid. That must mean something.â Ever the positive guy, he tries to make you feel better after the sour comment.
âYeah, itâs really nice of her.â The sun shining so bright prevents you from looking up at him, but you smile, hoping he can see it.
The slow steps youâve been taking side by side turn awkward with silence. You wanted so badly to talk to him after the other day, but now that heâs here, in front of you, you canât think of anything.
âItâs good that you still hang out with the guys.â
You donât know what else to say, and the words spill out of your mouth. He doesnât seem to notice the awkward atmosphere, his body as comfortable as ever walking by your side.
âYeah, even though not as often as Iâd like.â A regretful smile forms across his lips. âOur schedules havenât been lining up, I met Olivia in person maybe a total of three times over the years.â
âWhat? Thereâs no way you didnât share any classes in school?â
He shakes his head, chuckling at your surprise.
âI think I only ever shared one class with her, but I didnât really care much about her crowd back then.â
âWow, thanks for that.â
He means all the popular guys your friends would hang out with, and you know it, but there was always something so fun in teasing him and seeing him get so pouty.
"You know I donât mean you.â
His shoulder pushes your body lightly to the side, and you chuckle together. Itâs hard to prevent the red from rushing to your cheeks. Maybe heâll mistake it for a faint sunburn.
âThatâs a cute helmet you got there.â Your eyes point to it as a way to distract him.
âOh, that?â He picks it up with what seems to be an embarrassed voice tone, but his actions quickly override it. He puts it on proudly and looks at you with his eyebrows raised, âmy sister gave it to me when I bought the bike, gets all the ladies.â
âI'm sure it does.â
Attention from women he for sure gets, but probably not because of that thing. His tall, muscular body is enhanced by the tight blue t-shirt he's wearing. You didnât get a proper look at him the other day, and now, standing next to him in broad daylight, you almost wish you could still live in the ignorance bliss of not knowing the exact height difference between you two.
âSo, what are you doing around here?â
His words make you realize youâve been staring for a few seconds, and you look ahead, hoping he didnât notice. He forgets to remove the helmet, making you chuckle quietly before answering.
âI just got off from work and thought it would be nice to take a different route home.â
âThatâs such a coincidence! I come here, like, almost every week to bike around.â
âWow, It really is.â
For how long have you been avoiding this specific park for no reason? Pushing away your chance of meeting the one and only person you wouldâve wanted to?
A ping from his phone alerts both of you, taking you out of your little bubble.
âSorry I-" His expression falls as he reads the new text, âI have to get going, but it was really nice seeing you!â
"Oh, sure! I didnât mean to hold you back.â It comes out quieter than youâd like. âGoodbye!â With a simple smile and a tiny wave at him, you turn around.
Right when he gets on his bicycle again, before he starts pedaling, he looks back at you, taking your first step in the opposite direction.
âWait!â When you turn around, heâs taking his phone out of his front pocket, âCan I get your number?â
The both of you blush at his words, and you look up at him cautiously.
âSo we can catch up and, you know, get comfortable with each other for the wedding.â
You had already forgotten about that. The reason you even met him again in the first place.
âSure!â
Your hand trembles slightly when you take his phone, and you mentally beat yourself up for it. Itâs just your number! It could mean nothing.
âIâll text you later so you can save mine.â
And with a wink, heâs off to whatever he was late to.
Great. Now youâre not only re-living your high-school anxieties but also your high-school crushes.
During the following days, you find yourself checking your phone more often than ever, always with the hope that youâll get a new message from Mingyu. Texting almost every day since the encounter at the park, the time when youâre both free to talk has become your favorite part of the day.
It started shyly, merely updating the other about your lives since finishing high school, your jobs, and hobbies. But as time passed, the never-ending conversation eased onto your daily routines. Youâd wake up and text Mingyu, update him as you arrive at work. Lunch, break, evening, clocking out, dinner. Every little free time you got, youâd text each other back and forth.
A text notification cheers you up constantly, thinking that it could possibly be him again. But itâs not always the case, like this time.
Itâs Olivia reminding you that, in exactly 29 minutes, you have the dance rehearsal with all the maids and grooms. Half an hour, and you live 1 hour away from the studio she rented. A little white lie never hurt anyone, so you tell her something came up and you'll be just a little late.
You love weddings, but if you had to choose one thing you donât like about them, it would definitely be the dancing. You canât dance for shit. Youâd tell your right leg to move forward, and your left leg would move backwards, like your body canât comprehend instructions when theyâre related to dancing. Usually, you stay in your seat, choosing not to embarrass yourself in front of all the guests, but this time, you canât get out of it. Poor Mingyu will leave the class with at least five bruises on his feet from you stepping on him.
The dance studio is part of a new, contemporary looking building on the exact geographic center of the city, a place you would always pass by but never thought youâll get to enter. Standing at the front desk, over half an hour late, you feel too out of place. Your clothes are probably wrong, your hair is completely disheveled, you donât remember on which floor is your class, and you donât even know the name of the dance teacher.
After a long discussion with the receptionist, she finally understands what youâre here for and lets you go up to the 13th floor.
The walk from the elevator to the studio feels longer than it actually is. Three to four footsteps become long, slow turtle-like steps. But not even the infinite time you spend taking four steps prepare you for your stomach to drop down to the basement at the sight of Mingyu dancing with Cassie as soon as you open the door.
His hands on her waist, her arms around his neck, dancing slowly in circles, laughing about something she just said, you can almost hear something inside you break. After all this time, nothing really changed.
âHey! Youâre finally here!â
Oliviaâs voice brings you back to earth.
âHi! Iâm really sorry I couldnât get here sooner.â The dance teacher gives you a look, and you lower down your voice, âSo how is this going?â
âWe had to put them together,â she points the dreaded pair, directing your eyes to them once again, âbecause neither you or Tyler were here when we started, but after the songâs over you can join him and Iâll practice with Cassie, okay?â
You nod with the best spirit you can manage to express.
âIs Tyler the guy she was with the other day?â
You donât forget to whisper so the class isnât interrupted by your chatter.
âHeâs the only one of Tom's friends whoâs not from school, donât worry, you didnât erase him from your memory.â
You stifle a laugh before it gets loud.
âGood, I was starting to feel bad about not recognizing him.â
In reality, his existence doesnât matter much to you either way, except for something. âAre him and Cassie a thing?â
âShe says itâs something casual but, and donât tell her about this, I paired them up together on purpose so they can finally realize that they like each other!â
Your lungs clear of air in an instant after hearing those words. Sheâs not available. She has a boyfriend, sort of. A boyfriend who you do not know nor have feelings for.
âYour secret's safe with me.â
âMingyu's nice and all, but if he messes with my plan and charms her, I will personally revoke his invitation to the wedding.â
You both chuckle just as the song finally ends, yours quieter than hers. Both of them see you with Olivia, but only Cassie comes forward to say hi.
âHey girls! Good to see you!â She gives you a little hug before directing to Olivia. âSo⌠Tyler isnât showing up, I assume.â
âHe told me a few minutes ago that something came up and canât come, sorry.â
Her hand flies to Cassie's shoulders to comfort her, but she doesnât seem bummed by the news.
âWell, then, I have something to ask you.â
Her presence suddenly becomes overwhelming as she grins at you with a proposition in mind, seemingly all thought out.
âAre you close with Mingyu? Olivia told me you were classmates.â
How did she know? Maybe you did tell her about him after all.
âHe used to be my lab partner. Why?â
âHow did you not crush on him back then? Heâs such a cutie.â
âI probably did, I donât remember.â Lie.
âCould you find out if he has a girlfriend, pleeease?â
A buzzing sound is all you hear for a few seconds, like your brain forgets how to function. Words donât come out, and youâre freezed in place as Cassie looks at you expectantly. To the side, Olivia looks just as puzzled by her request.
âW-why?â
âBecause, heâs really hot and, if I need a quick rebound because of that other fucker, I need to know Iâm not messing with a relationship.â
Silence is all you produce once again.
âI just need a tiny bit of info, and itâll be weird if I ask him directly, so could you please try?â
âSure⌠Iâll try, but Iâm not promising anything.â
Youâve never sounded less excited about something in your whole life. You love some gossip and some drama, but not if it involves a genuinely nice guy like Mingyu being used. Or maybe itâs just because itâs him.
âThank you, thank you, thank you.â
Cassie jumps excitedly and hugs you once again, just as the dance teacher calls for everyone to gather.
Mingyuâs hands slot carefully at the sides of your waist, guiding you swiftly and sparking goosebumps across your back. Your arms wrap awkwardly around his neck, making him crouch a bit so you can look properly at each other.
âWere you always this good? Or did you become a professional waltz dancer in the half hour I wasnât here?â
You remember him telling you the other day, during your endless text conversations, that he, like you, wasnât particularly excited about dancing.
âLetâs say, hypothetically, that I practiced before coming here, what would that say about me? Hypothetically.â
âIt would say that,â you drown out a cackle before you can continue, âyou take your duty as a groomsman very seriously, hypothetically.â
âGood, I wouldnât want you to think I was a dork, hypothetically.â
âYouâre too late, I already thought that.â
A pout forms on his mouth at your giggles, and he flashes the world's most menacing puppy eyes ever.
âI mean it in the best way possible!â
âIsnât it embarrassing?â
âItâs cute!â
His face shifts with skepticism, sending enough signals saying he didnât like your choice of words.
âItâs charming!â
The warmth his body emanates wraps around you fast. His expectant eyes looking down at you and the closeness of your bodies rises your temperature in record time, your cheeks pinking up furiously. You keep talking as the nervousness takes over you.
âAt least it worked! Youâre a really good dancer, Iâm sorry I keep missing the beats.â
âYouâre giving me too much credit. Youâre not that bad.â
âNow youâre just lying. My limbs are physically unable to coordinate more than three steps. Youâre guiding me through every single one!â
His hands tighten just the tiniest bit around your waist, like a confirmation for the both of you that theyâre still there.
The teacherâs voice echoes all around you until it finally punctures your bubble, and youâre able to hear the class youâre here for. The steps sheâs explaining for a second time make no sense in your head, too many turns and moves for you (and your body) to comprehend.
âI need all the pairs to practice the final steps again.â
Only her final words make sense on your mind, and when you look towards Mingyu, his hand left its place on your body and is extended at you, his eyes kind yet concentrated back on the dance. You nod, taking his hand with an electrifying rush going through your veins.
Mingyu guides you firmly but with care, moving along the beats of the waltz. With each step, your synchronization improves, and the moves flow along easily, your bodies understanding each other. You canât help but smile as you look him in the eyes, a familiar warm feeling bubbling up inside you.
âYou're doing a really good job.â
His eyes catch yours, a little wrinkle forming by each of their sides before he cracks a smile to match yours. Thereâs something in the way he looks like when paying attention to you, like a spell being casted on you, making you crave more.
âItâs because itâs comfortable with you.â
Your mouth betrays you and sends out the words without checking with your brain, but weirdly enough, you donât fear his reaction. Itâs just the truth.
âWeâre more in synch than you thought.â
You swear you see a glimpse of a smirk before he spins you in his arms.
As you turn and move together through the song, you think your excitement isn't solely because of the rehearsal going well. It could be simply a wish, but a spark of something is definitely lighting up. The way Mingyu holds you, attentive and confident, you can't help to think he feels it too.
âYou think we can be this good the day of the wedding?â
Thereâs more anticipation than curiosity in your voice, remembering youâll keep meeting until then, youâll keep seeing him.
Mingyu reaches closer until his warm breath fans your ear and his lips graze your cheek.
âWe could meet a few days before and practice, like I hypothetically did today.â
âYou think I need practice?â You tease to hide the blush creeping up your cheeks.
âMaybe itâs an excuse to see you again.â
A mix of shyness and giddiness overtakes you as you giggle at his proposition. But in the midst of your interaction, you skip a crucial move and begin to turn, stepping right on one of Mingyuâs feet and almost tripping over to the side. His hand secures you by the waist, the hem of your t-shirt raised just enough so his fingers brush your fiery bare skin.
âOk, maybe I do need the practice too.â
The teacher talks to you on the background, but itâs hard to concentrate on anything other than Mingyuâs touch lighting fires across your body, his worried eyes over your âalmostâ fall, and his smile when he realizes youâre laughing at your clumsiness.
The music starts over, and you only realize it because his hand is extended at you once again.
âLetâs give it another try.â
âSo, you didnât get to ask him?â
âIâm sorry, I forgot about it. I was so focused on learning the dance that it slipped my mind.â
Running into Cassie coming out of the subway was the last thing you expected (and wanted) right now. Trying on dresses is the one bridesmaid related thing you were least excited about. So many hours of putting clothes on and off, picking colors, showing the rest of the girls, giving your opinion on their dresses, and listening to their opinions on yours. It just sounds so exhausting. But your mental pep talk got interrupted when Cassie saw you walking up the stairs of the station heading to the bridal shop.
âItâs okay, donât worry about it.â
âHe didnât say anything that would imply he has one, if that helps.â
More than a helping hand to her, you're starting to hope heâs single too.
âThatâs good to know, thank you.â
âI donât really get why you wanted to know, though. I thought you had a boyfriend.â
âHeâs not... I mean, itâs not like, official. I wanted him to get jealous, but I'm over that now.â
âOh, so... you talked about it with him?"
âKind of... he just explained why he couldnât come to the rehearsal, and I just, couldnât get mad at him simply for that, right?â
âRight...â
You know virtually nothing about their ârelationshipâ, or about him for that matter, so itâs maybe for the best to stay out of their⌠thing.
âAnyway, about today, do you have something in mind for your dress?â
âNot really, I was just thinking of browsing through the store and seeing what they have.â
âWow, really? Youâre so chill about it. I have a pinterest board with all the styles and shapes I like. I even checked their online store to see what they have in stock beforehand.â
âThatâs⌠actually really smart.â
âNah, donât be nice. Did you at least think of a color? Olivia wants all of us to be different colors, but in pastel, obviously. I personally didnât really care about it, but I chose pink after some thought.â
âOh, actually, I didn't know that.â
âItâs okay, you can decide when we get there.â
âDid the rest of the girls choose already?â
âMaybe? I havenât had the chance to ask them.â
âI hope I donât get green then, I donât really like how it looks on me.â
âYouâll look amazing either way. Donât let a simple color wear you down!â
Small talk with Cassie turns out to be quite nice in the short walk you have up to the store. It's a pretty shallow conversation, but not at all stressful like you thought.
The place is really fancy looking, tall glass windows and blinding white interior. It makes you take a breath just by looking at the displayed dresses. Relieved that Olivia said multiple times that sheâll take care of everything and not to worry about the prices, you and Cassie walk inside.
You didnât expect every girl to be already there, and you especially didnât expect the groomsmen to be also all there. The girls browse through racks and racks of different shaped and colored dresses, and the men are sitting back, talking with one another, waiting for their bridesmaid to ask for their opinion.
Cassie goes straight to greet Mingyu with a hug. Even if he isnât the closest one to the door. Even if Tyler is there also. And you walk behind her, slowly, shy because of all the people aware of your arrival. You give Mingyu a shy smile as a greet, and he returns it warmly.
After the dance rehearsal all those days back, youâve been hesitant about contacting him again. Thereâs nothing wrong with him. Itâs quite the opposite, actually. Heâs caring, attentive, and kind towards you. You just donât want to fall in your black hole of a crush on him again. especially after Cassie made it clear to you that heâs caught her eye too. Sure, she just told you she made up with her boyfriend, but her actions are already contradicting her words.
Olivia sees you with Cassie and walks quickly towards you two with a smile on her face.
âHey girls! How do you like the store?! Isnât it huge?â
âItâs unbelievable! Iâm gonna need at least two hours to look through all the dresses!â
Cassie answers, staring at the lengthy room in awe. You can feel Mingyuâs eyes on you. Or maybe on Cassie. Regardless, youâre in his line of sight, and it gives you chills.
âWell, you have all the time in the world today. I reserved the whole store for the entire day for all of us, and the staff is also here to help us if needed, so donât worry about asking for help!â
âThatâs amazing!â You both exclaim at the same time.
âThank you!â Cassie doesnât look back and goes straight to the racks of pink dresses. Youâre about to go and walk around as well. Maybe try to find a color that suits you, but Olivia stops you before you can even take a step.
âWait! I got the list of the available colors left for you,â she hands you a sheet of paper with almost everything on it crossed out, âIâm sorry, I know there isnât much left.â
âOh donât worry, itâs fine. I shouldâve picked it earlier. Itâs not your fault.â
Itâs disappointing to see that only two items arenât crossed out. Light teal and pastel green. Green and teal arenât ugly colors by any means, but you always feel awkward when wearing them, so youâve learned to avoid them. The back of your throat itches to close as you think about looking ugly at the wedding, in front of so many people, in front of him.
âI saw some of the teal dresses earlier, and theyâre all super cute! Youâll look amazing!â
âOh, ok, Iâll go check them out. But, just in case, isnât there any way for me to change colors?â
âYou could ask someone to swap with you.â
Your mind instantly goes to Cassie. Earlier, she told you she didnât care which color she wore, maybe she wouldnât mind switching with you. You spot her easily on one corner, asking Mingyu about his opinion. She looks up at him with glittery eyes as one of her hands places itself on his arm. The sight turns your stomach upside down. You want to stop watching the scene as much as you want to break them apart.
Your legs make the decision for you and walk you to where theyâre standing. They donât notice you walking over to them until you speak up.
âHey, sorry to interrupt you guys, but Cassie, could I ask you something?â
Mingyuâs the first one to look up at you, his face lighting up as you interrupt whatever Cassie was saying to him. Sheâs slower, making sure to hang the dress back on the rack before turning to face you.
âWhat do you need?â
There's very little annoyance on her tone, but you donât miss the way her eyebrows arch and her eyes dart to Mingyu, signaling you that she wants some alone time.
âI wanted to ask if you, by any chance, were willing to switch colors with me?â
âWhat happened? Which ones are left?â
âBasically, just green.â
âOh, thatâs such a bummer.â
Thereâs a silence when she finishes talking. You wait for her to continue, blinking at her, but she just doesnât. Her sentence ended there.
âYeah, so, would you swap with me?â
âIâŚâ Her body language turns awkward as she thinks of an answer, side-eyeing Mingyu, whoâs also waiting for her, but with no context to what youâre asking her.
âI just, you said you didnât really care about the color, so I thought you wouldnât mind changing it.â
You huff, not helping the awkward atmosphere around the three of you. Your eyes connect with Mingyuâs, who's silently watching the interaction from the side. You hate that heâs seeing you in such a state, so... desperate for something thatâs not that big of a deal anyway. You need this interaction to be over.
âYouâre right, I did say that,â you can already see where this is going, âbut, I kinda already put my mind to it, and it took a lot of convincing to get Tyler to match with me. He already bought his suit, and I donât want to make him mad by changing everything so suddenly, Iâm sorry.â
âOhâŚâ
You can feel your stomach contracting, your throat threatening to close, your eyes getting ready to be filled with tears. This is so stupid. Itâs just a stupid color. It's a stupid dress youâll never wear again. Why is it affecting you so much?
âWait, Iâm sure Tyler wouldnât mind changing.â
Mingyuâs soft voice sounds closer to you, but you canât really see much with your eyes trained to the ground and vision blurry from tearing up.
âNo, itâs fine, letâs not bother him.â
Blinking away the tears is easy, but looking up and finding a concerned Mingyu makes you feel like jelly. Cassieâs long forgotten as you focus on him, his tall figure watching over you, his hand placed on your shoulder, squeezing lightly, silently comforting you.
âIâll go try and find something I like.â
âI can look with you if you want.â
âNo, itâs fine, you can go back to what you were doing.â
You walk away, leaving him standing there, still worried about your sudden reaction. Cassie is just behind him, waiting for the opportunity to get his attention back.
But you try not to think about him or her while browsing through the store. Trying your best to be positive, to not get dragged down by a simple color choice, or by a friend â if you can call her that â that couldnât help you.
Hours go by, and itâs easier when you focus on other things. You help the other girls decide on their dresses, reacting and applauding, helping them find new ones if they arenât satisfied. Itâs fun, contrary to what you previously thought, itâs like playing a dress up game, except every now and then, itâs Cassie who comes out on the make-shift runway, and the first opinion she asks for is always Mingyu's.
At one point, everyone has already decided, and youâre the only one left. All the girls you helped come together to try and find you the best possible dress, bringing a new one to you with hopeful smiles on their faces every few minutes.
You try them on, eager to find one and be done with it. But, even if they look gorgeous when on the hanger, they always got something that doesnât sit right with you when you put them on. And after trying dress after dress, you grow more discouraged.
Olivia notices how tired you are and tells you that you can come back another day, alone and less anxious, but then again, that would mean stretching the situation for longer than needed. You decide to try on one more dress, one that Olivia picked specifically for you, and if youâre not satisfied, youâll come back with her the next day.
The store lady helps you put the dress on, her sweet smile never fading, even if itâs the tenth dress she helped you put on already. The pastel green silk fabric glides smoothly over your skin, hugging you in the right places as the lady zips it up. Your backâs facing the mirror, too afraid to look in it again and find another disappointing result.
âSweetheart, I think this is the one.â
The kind womanâs voice startles you, but her honest smile makes you believe her words. You inhale deeply, calming yourself before turning around. But instead of looking at your reflection, you walk outside the changing room and onto the lobby.
Every pair of eyes is on you the moment you step out, your arms wrap around your torso in an effort to shield yourself, and you can feel your cheeks being painted a bright red color. A few gasps are heard, and when you look around, the girls who helped you are all covering their mouths, eyes wide as they watch you cautiously strolling forward.
At the back of the store, itâs like time stops for Mingyu. Whatever he was doing, forgotten at the sight of you. He was unaware of how much your appearance could affect him. His eyes are trained on you, allured by your figure, scanning you up and down like a piece of art worth studying.
Buzz erupts all around you, mumbles and praises about your dress and how you look in it, but itâs all background noise for you. Mingyuâs heavy stare finds yours, and his ears turn a faint shade of pink. The subtlest smirk begins to form on his lips, spreading the warm feeling on your tummy all across your body. He canât seem to drive his eyes away from you, and you donât want him to. Your arms relax under his gaze, disarming the protective shield around you and drop to hang by your sides.
But, in a matter of seconds, the girls swarm around you, blocking all 360 degrees around you. Their positive opinions flood your ears as they walk you back to the dressing room, trying to convince you to choose this dress. You canât look back, but youâre sure all the groomsmen left together.
Doesnât matter. Youâre definitely getting this one.
After spending the whole day shopping together, it marvels you how these girls still want to spend time together. When they noticed all the boys left, they planned an impromptu girls' night at Oliviaâs apartment.
Itâs amazing how they can spend hours and hours talking with each other, a few drinks here and there, never running out of topics, entertaining you when youâre too tired to talk.
Your phone vibrates in your pocket, and you sit back on your side of the couch to read the new text.
Mingyu: hey, how are you?
Mingyu: sorry i couldnât stay today, they dragged me to a boys night
Everything that happened a few hours ago flashes through your mind, waking a giddy smile on your face as you reply.
You: why are you sorry?
You: the girls wanted to do a âboys freeâ night, weâre at Oliviaâs rn
Mingyu: i didnt want to leave before making sure you were okay
Oh.
You: im better now
You: it was fun helping the other girls, took my mind off of it
You: but thank you, you didnt have to worry
Mingyu: good to know :)
Mingyu: next time ill drive you home
You: drive me home? Will i sit on the bike's handlebar?
Mingyu: i was thinking more like a piggyback ride
You: hmm... ill have to think about it
You tune back to the conversation before anyone notices you not paying attention, having no idea what turns the topic has taken in the time you werenât listening.
âI think heâs definitely seeing someone.â
The girls divided into two groups with different conversations going on, but sitting in front of Cassie, you can only hear her side of the table. They might be talking about Tyler and their ârelationshipâ problems.
âI really donât think he is. He didnât use his plus one you know.â
A smile forms in your mouth when your phone vibrates in your hand once again.
Mingyu: can you believe the weddingâs so close already
You: times moving so fast
You: i cant believe its less than two weeks away
Mingyu: it feels like it was only yesterday that tom told me he was getting married
âBut today, he didnât seem at all interested, he was really out of it from the start.â
âMaybe seeing dresses all day is not his thing.â
âNo but like, I tried every move on him, and he didnât even bat an eye.â
Bits and pieces of the still going conversation manage to register on your mind, and you realize theyâre talking about Mingyu, unaware of your current chat with him.
You: is the boys only hang out getting boring? Its not very polite to be on the phone you know
Mingyu: theyre all playing games, havent looked my way in over 30 mins
Mingyu: besides i much rather talk with you
You: well i wont argue with that
Mingyu: you seem bored too
You: youâre definitely helping me get through the night
âMaybe heâs just not interested in you.â
Olivia teases Cassie, even though her comment is more than just a joke. But why is Cassie so adamant on wooing Mingyu if, according to Olivia, she really likes Tyler?
âIâll be the judge of that.â
Mingyu: you know what I just realized
Mingyu: I forgot the dance routine already
You: omg me too
You: we might have to meet to practice like you said
Mingyu: we can do it at my place
Mingyu: you up for it?
You: i should ask you that
You: your feet are going to suffer because of me
Mingyu: thatâs a risk im willing to take
Mingyu: but I gotta warn you, I take my practice very seriously
You: sure, you can carry me back to my apartment after we're done
Sitting on Mingyuâs couch, waiting for him to get back from the bathroom, youâre too tired to do anything else than looking around his living room. Itâs so him. The warm and neutral colors make everything feel cozy, with pictures of him and his family hanging on the walls â no ambiguously romantic photos with unfamiliar girls, and everything is so tidy, not one pillow out of place, even after practicing for over an hour. Out the window, you can see the sun starting to set, and the buildings across the street start lighting up. You recognize all of them.Â
All this time, heâs lived so close to you. His building barely a ten minute walk away from yours. You canât help but wonder, what wouldâve happened if you kept in touch, if you just walked two more minutes to the park he frequents, or sent him a follow request on Instagram the few times he popped up on your recommended. It comforts you that at least you have this chance to reconnect with him, to make things right.Â
But sounding confident over text is easy, and now, youâve only danced for the whole time youâve been here, barely even talked about anything else.Â
Itâs conflicting, the guilt of meeting with Mingyu behind everyoneâs back â even if itâs no oneâs business â, the excitement of seeing him alone after weeks of only wedding related stuff, and the actual need to practice the dance so you donât embarrass yourself, all colliding in your mind, making everything awkward for you.Â
Like ten thousand spectators, the windows of every apartment watch you through the glass, just sitting, waiting. Mingyu left only a couple of minutes ago, but after the many times you stepped on him, you wonder if heâs actually hurt.Â
âAre you okay? Tell me if I need to call a doctor for your feet!âÂ
You shout with your head looking towards the bathroom door. His chuckle travels all the way to your ears before he opens the door.Â
âIâm fine, I swear.âÂ
As he comes out, your body tingles with nervousness once again. He sits beside you on the couch, unknowingly making your head spin.Â
âYou sure? I donât think feet are supposed to withstand all of that.âÂ
âIâm okay, just tired, why donât we rest for a bit?âÂ
They way he sits, on his side, facing you, and his arm resting on the back of the couch, your eyes canât help but wander to where his arm muscles start showing. Every variation of the phrase âbutterflies in your stomach" could describe the way you feel as he watches you, paying so much attention that you mumble your next sentence.Â
âThis couch is way too comfortable. It makes me want to just stay here the rest of the day.âÂ
âLetâs do it! We can even have dinner here. If we order take out, we can tell them to leave it at the door.âÂ
âThat sounds nice, but one of us will have to go get it.âÂ
âWhen my roommate comes home, heâll bring it inside for us.âÂ
âOh my god, you have a roommate? When is he coming back? I donât want to be a bother.â You look towards the entry hallway, like heâs about to come in and kick you out.Â
You really donât want to leave, Mingyuâs company is already becoming one of your favorites, but you hadnât counted on being around another person, and in their home for that matter. You start to get up from where youâre sitting, worried about having overstayed your welcome, but Mingyuâs hand grabs yours softly and drags you back down.Â
âI invited you here. Itâs not like youâre trespassing.âÂ
âBut Iâve been here for hours, is it not too much?âÂ
âI guess I don't want you to leave.âÂ
His hand hasn't let go of yours, his skin against yours waking up your whole nervous system. You like how it feels when heâs looking at you, but you canât help feeling too observed under his gaze.Â
âShould we practice one more time?â You get up as your other hand takes Mingyuâs free one to try and get him off the couch too. He doesnât fight your push, but you still struggle to move him barely an inch.Â
âNow that I think about it, my feet do really hurt.âÂ
When he stands up, your hands dreadly separate as you go press play on the song you had paused earlier.Â
âYouâre a big and strong man, you can handle one more dance.âÂ
The music starts slowly, and when you turn around to go where Mingyuâs standing, heâs quick to put his hands around your waist and bring you to him.Â
Like that day in the dance class, your bodies are quickly coordinated. Youâve been over the same dance for over an hour now, so at this point, every step is engrained in your muscle memory forever.Â
âWhy donât you take the lead on this one?â He mightâve felt your sudden confidence in the moves, but fails to realize itâs only because youâre doing it with him.Â
âDo you have a death wish? The last time I tried to take the lead on a dance like this, it ended really badly.âÂ
âBut youâre doing good now! Iâm sure it couldnât have been that bad.âÂ
âDonât you remember the senior prom? When I made my date trip and he fell onto the chocolate fountain? He got completely covered in melted chocolate.â He shakes his head, making you more confused. âHe dislocated his shoulder. You really donât remember?Â
âI donât-â He chuckles at your story but stops his words when he realizes you donât get what he wants to say, âWe left early.âÂ
âOh⌠I guess you had a good time with your date.â Thinking about him with someone else puts a bad taste in your mouth.Â
âI didnât have a date, I went with the guys.â Somehow, thatâs less believable than you being a good dancer.Â
âI vaguely remember seeing you dance with a girl. Is my memory failing me?â You remember because you hated it.Â
âMaybe I did dance with someone, but I couldnât score a real date.âÂ
âYou canât be serious.âÂ
âI am! Why donât you believe me?Â
âBecause I knew at least ten girls who had a crush on you back then.âÂ
The dance is already forgotten. None of you make the effort to go over the moves. With your arms hanging around his neck and his hands holding on to your waist, youâre just going around in slow circles, eyes connected as your talk turns into something more.Â
âWell, I wasnât interested in them.âÂ
âBut still, you couldâve easily gotten a date.â You could let the subject go, and maybe you should, but you really want to make your point. âI wouldâve gone with you.âÂ
âDonât say things you donât mean.âÂ
âBut I mean it.âÂ
âYou wouldnât have gone with me.âÂ
âYou donât know that.âÂ
âYes I do!â His tone gets serious, and it just makes you more desperate to make him understand. He needs to know heâs wrong.Â
âNo, you donât! You would know if you had asked!âÂ
âI wanted to!Â
You stop in your tracks, looking straight into his eyes, seeing little hints of shock on his face as he realizes what he said. If your bodies were closer, youâre afraid he could feel that you stopped breathing for a second.Â
âWhy didnât you?âÂ
âBecause I knew at least ten guys who had crushes on you back then,â youâre about to shut him off, but he continues, âand you did end up going with one of them.âÂ
âSo, you did see me.âÂ
âYeah, didnât stay much after that."
None of you know what to say, as your minds work tirelessly to understand what this conversation means.Â
âYou really shouldâve asked me.â Thereâs so much more you want to say, but you simply canât.Â
âYou were kind of popular and, I donât know⌠It messed with my head.âÂ
âI didnât care about those stupid labels, and I thought you didnât either.âÂ
âI know you didnât, but I wasnât a confident kid back then, I couldnât just go up to the girl I liked and ask her out.âÂ
Your jaw reaches the floor after hearing those words. The girl he liked?Â
Speechless for a few seconds, you can only look at him, trying to figure out if he meant to say those words specifically. He seems to be proud of what he said, showing no sign of regret.Â
âSo, now that youâre all grown upâŚâ you dare to let your fingers caress the skin at the base of his neck, and his hands tighten around you at the touch.Â
âOne would think that, after so many years, things wouldâve changed but-âÂ
âI donât believe youâre not confident by now.âÂ
âThat did change, but apparently, other things didnât, even after growing up.âÂ
He tilts his head to the side cockily, his piercing gaze making you feel hot all over.Â
âMaybe some things arenât meant to change.â Like an adrenaline rush, itâs your turn to feel confident as one of your hands starts playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. âI'm starting to discover some things are not that different for me either.âÂ
âCould it be, perhaps, the same thing Iâm talking about?â His arms wrap around your waist, bringing you closer to him little by little.Â
âHmm, I donât know, youâre being very vague, I could be talking about still enjoying country music.â You joke so he doesnât notice your heart beating twice as hard as normal.Â
âI think you know what I mean.â His smirk is one new thing about him, not that youâve never seen it before, but the reason behind it makes it way more thrilling to see now.Â
âI want to hear you say it.âÂ
âYou really didnât know? I mean, back then, I always thought I made it obvious.â His chuckle sends shivers down your spine.Â
âI wish I did.â You canât help but think about how your life would be if you made a move on him all those years ago. âBut I never said anything either, I was shy too.âÂ
âGood thing we can make up for the time we lost.â
His droopy eyes send you down a spiral you have a hard time coming back from, all your insides becoming putty, feeling his want through his embrace, but thereâs still one more thing to get to.Â
âYou know⌠you say youâre so confident now and whatnot, but I still havenât heard you say it.â The look you give him is all he needsÂ
âFine, you win, I used to like you, and seeing you again made me realize I still kinda really do, Iâm always eager to get your attention and to spend time with you.â He pauses to take the quickest breath ever, all while youâre losing yours. âI know weâre not the same people as back then, but if you want to, we can get to know each other, again, more mature and less stupid. I have my regrets about how I handled my feelings in the past, but I wonât make the same mistakes again. And I will ask you on a date after the wedding, just a heads up.âÂ
âWow, I was fine with just an âI like youâ, but itâs nice to see youâre just as down bad for me as I am for you.â You confess with a joke because, how can you possibly answer that? Your brain is barely receiving enough oxygen as it is.Â
âAnd one last thing, I really, really, really, want to kiss you right now.âÂ
âThen why are you not doing it?âÂ
It takes a second for the words to register in his head. A second where you only look at each other, almost not believing whatâs happening. The air around you gets so thick, so hot, almost unbearably heavy. And just when your hands begin to push his head your way, his lips attack yours. Â
All the resurfacing feelings come to life, colliding like a thousand stars that have been running to meet for millions of years. His arms around you bring your body closer to his, forcing you on your tiptoes to follow his lead while his hair tangles between your fingers.Â
It's surprisingly slow, yet hungry and desperate, making the other feel everything through the connection of your lips. You move along with him naturally, and when he bites your lower lip as a request for access, you donât hesitate. His hands creep under your shirt just as his tongue dares to move past your lips, exploring your whole body to his liking.Â
Your chests flush together, leaving little to no space between your bodies, and you can do nothing but melt in his embrace. Your hands wander around his arms and back, touching and feeling every muscle they encounter on their way. When his hands travel down your lower back and reach your ass, you sigh on his lips and immediately feel his smirk against you.Â
A furious knock on the door makes you both jump and separate, leaving you looking at each other, breathless and with confused faces, until you hear a knock again, as strong as the first one. Thatâs when Mingyu decides to check his phone and sees it's his roommate, who had apparently forgotten his keys. Both a blessing and a curse.Â
âBro, what the hell? Iâve been calling you for about 15 minutes.â You hear the door opening, followed by a new, deep voice.Â
âI told you I had company.â Their voices echo through the hallway.Â
When they finally reach the living room where youâve been awkwardly trying to make yourself look presentable, the roommate's face morphs into something, a mix of surprise and realization. You rush to gather your stuff after muttering some variation of âhelloâ and 'goodbye' to him. Your heart still pumps twice as fast as normal, and you donât trust youâll be able to handle yourself if you stay for longer.Â
âIâll see you on the weekend?â Mingyu asks when youâve both reached the entry, his hand on the handle, hesitant to unlock the door.Â
You want to kiss him again so badly. His lips are parted, still swollen, calling to you to connect them with yours again.Â
âFind me when you crash the bachelorette party.â You make your best effort to sound confident and not at all dizzy because of him. Â
âYou know about that?âÂ
âThe bridesmaids know everything... Itâs only a surprise for Olivia.â You peck him goodbye, like a promise for more. And the feeling of his lips on yours lasts all night.
Itâs roughly around 1 am. when a high-pitched scream from Olivia announces to everyone at the bar that the bachelor party has officially arrived.Â
The effects from all the alcohol you consumed in the last 4 hours are just starting to fade, only a little buzz left. But that doesnât prevent you from seeing whatâs happening all the way across the room.Â
Mingyu standing with his hip resting on the barstool, listening to Cassie as she drunkenly asks him something. You want to stop looking, not wanting to let all your previous feelings resurface again, not after the recent development in your relationship with him. But just as soon as youâre about to turn your head the other way, Mingyu interrupts Cassieâs rumbling and tells her something, to which she doesnât respond, nods awkwardly, and just walks away, leaving him standing there.Â
Thatâs your signal to walk over to him.Â
âLooks like I found you first.âÂ
âDamn, I wanted to get you a drink first.âÂ
The music and the people drunkenly signing and shouting makes it hard for your voices to reach the other, and Mingyu takes the opportunity to take a step closer to you.Â
You stand against the bar as the room grows warmer and warmer the closer his body gets to yours. His height taunts you as he stands against the bar as well, forcing you to look up so you can see the smirk on his face. His fingers play with yours as the intensity of his stare increases. You donât care that youâre in public, that anyone from the wedding can see you two. Maybe you want them to.Â
âHowâs your night going?â His hair tickles the side of your face.Â
âIt was really fun, I might be growing fond of the girls." You donât remember much, just a vague memory of many different games you played to get drunk, and the feeling of being happy. âHow about yours? Donât tell me you went to a strip club or something like that.âÂ
âActually, we did a drunk escape room, didnât even know those existed until today.â
The closeness between you is getting more worrying by the second, mainly because if you hear his low chuckle next to your ear one more time, you might pass out.Â
âThat sounds horrible!â You chuckle away from his personal space, only to encounter his hungry eyes already looking at you.Â
âIt was fun, I wish you couldâve been there.â His honesty has a sultry tone to it that makes your lungs completely empty of air.Â
âIâm not sure we wouldâve made a good team.âÂ
âWhy? Youâre smart! Or at least you were back then.âÂ
âHey! I still am!âÂ
âI really have to get to know this new you.â
The pink and blue lights reflect on his face, giving him the most beautiful sparkles on his eyes, directed at you.Â
âItâs not that new, Iâm still very introverted, donât talk much when thereâs a lot of people around.âÂ
âI like that, youâre observant, good thing to be while in a escape room.âÂ
âWeâre still talking about that?âÂ
âMaybe, maybe not, I donât really care, I just wanted to spend time with you.âÂ
âAre you drunk?â You can only ask with a smile plastered on your face, but he shakes his head.Â
âYou kinda make me feel like Iâm a teenage boy again, I donât know how to explain it.âÂ
âI think I get it.â You place your hand on his chest, feeling the beating of his heart under it, even harder than the music blasting out of the speakers.Â
âYou know, back then, every time I had a free period, I would make my friends walk past whatever class you had, just to get to see you, at least for a second.â Out of everything heâs drunkenly confessing, this may be the one that surprises you the most because you really never realized he felt the same. He notices you freezing in place. âOnce they found out, I was relentlessly bullied by them.âÂ
âI sure hope it was worth it.â If the lighting was any better, he'd be able to see the cherry red covering your cheeks and ears.Â
âEvery second of it.â Everything around the two of you moves slower, like timeâs stopping only for the outside world, and the muffled background noises do nothing to pierce the bubble around you. âI really want to take you on a date, a real one.âÂ
âI would very much like that.âÂ
You can see the gears turning through Mingyuâs eyes, and you move your eyes down to his lips so he can take the hint. But nothing happens as someone else enters your little world.Â
Oliviaâs aware that somethingâs going on, her eyes switching back and forth between the two of you before she speaks.Â
âI need your help, Iâm sorry to interrupt, but Iâm getting worried about her.âÂ
âAbout who? What happened?â Mingyu stays behind you as you turn to Olivia, grabbing one of your hands, and his warmth gives you goosebumps.Â
âItâs Cassie, sheâs been sitting alone in the restroom for I donât know how long, she's way too drunk and I canât take care of her.â
You now realize sheâs slurring her words, meaning sheâs also too drunk and therefore canât take care of another drunk person, leaving you no choice but to go help Cassie. You look back at Mingyu, who encourages you to go, even if it takes a little too long for his hand to let go of yours.Â
The graffitied restroom provides you with a little more light than the rest of the place, and when you enter, you recognize Cassie sitting on the floor inside one of the stalls. Luckily thereâs no one guarding the bathrooms because if sheâs seen throwing up, it could potentially get you both kicked out.Â
You sit on the dirty floor beside her without saying a word, letting her know youâre here to help without giving her a headache. Her foreheadâs resting on top of her knees as she hugs her legs tightly. But after a minute or two of silence, you decide itâs best to check if sheâs at least awake.Â
âCassie? Are you okay?â Your hand on her shoulder makes her look up at you.Â
âI donât feel so good, I just want to sit down for a while.â She sounds tired, her husky voice giving away all the talking and singing sheâs been doing all night.Â
âDo you need anything? I can get you a cup of water.âÂ
âNo, please, just stay here a bit, I didnât want anyone to see me but I donât want to be alone.âÂ
âOk, Iâll stay, let me know if you need something, anything.âÂ
Time passes by, the music making it easier for you to not get bored. A few people enter the restroom from time to time, too drunk or too in a hurry to notice you both sitting down. Olivia passes by the door a few times, hovering, checking if everythingâs okay (and if youâre still in the same position as the previous time). You just smile and nod, letting her go back to her party time and time again. But at last, in one of her check-ins, she finally walks inside.Â
âHey, Mingyuâs looking for you!â Both you and Cassie look up at Olivia, but her eyes point at you. âWhat do I tell him?âÂ
You instinctively look to Cassie by your side, and her expression falls.Â
âDonât, donât go with him.â She finds the strength to plead to you, but she seems more worried than anything.Â
âWhy? Did he do something? Is that why youâre hiding here?â Olivia asks, and you realize she didnât leave after you didnât answer her.Â
âNo, no, I mean, yes Iâm hiding from him, but he didn't do anything, it was me, I embarrassed myself.âÂ
âWhy are you telling me not to go with him then?âÂ
âDo you like him?âÂ
âI-â Wow, blunt question out of the blue.Â
âYou can be honest, itâs fine.âÂ
âYeah, I do, I like him.â
Telling them, her, the truth feels kind of freeing. Finally admitting in front of them that you like someone, after not being able to for so many years, itâs like you can finally breathe.Â
âThen, for your own good, donât go with him, heâs seeing someone.âÂ
âWhat? How do you know?â That freedom lasts barely seconds before a new weight falls right on top of your lungs.Â
âHe told me, when the guys got here, he said that heâs been after a girl for years and they recently started going out.âÂ
âAre you sure? Did he use those words?âÂ
âIâm not saying it verbatim, I donât remember it exactly word for word, but thatâs what he meant.âÂ
Could he possibly be talking about you? How recent is ârecentlyâ supposed to mean? You havenât even started officially dating. Is confessing your feelings considered the start of dating? Is it supposed to be this confusing? Are you going to believe her? Not that Cassieâs a liar, but you donât know the context nor the exact words he used, and she doesnât know what happened between you and him either.Â
âShould I go tell him something?â Olivia's already standing up, your silence not helping the situation.Â
âJust-" You donât want to push him away, but itâs not the time to resolve this. The whole thing is too confusing to be making desperate decisions at this hour of the night, âTell him to go have fun with the guys, Iâm getting Cassie home.âÂ
The loudest alarm you couldâve ever set up wakes you up with a jump. Your head hurts like your inside out emotions are building houses inside your skull. But the memories still hit you as soon as your eyelids burst open. Some decisions were definitely made the night before. Wrong ones? Thatâs to be seen today.
And thanks to the gods and Oliviaâs always late waking family, youâre not supposed to be at the venue until 11 am. Only bad news, Itâs on a luxury complex outside the city. You have time for a real breakfast and a shower, but all the thinking and feeling will have to wait.
You unlock your phone to find the last text conversation open and the messages you barely remember sending stare at you through the dim screen.
Mingyu: you left so suddenly
Mingyu: everything ok?
You: yeah
You: had to take Cass to her place, she wasnât feeling well
Mingyu: thatâs too bad, hope she feels better
Mingyu: you just got home?
You: yep, about to go to bed
Mingyu: great, just checking before i head to sleep
Mingyu: sleep well, big day tomorrow
Admittedly, you were a little dry. Cassieâs words were still lingering on your mind, making you doubt everything. One side of your brain telling you that he was probably talking about you, he explained what he felt and what he wanted and sounded sure and truthful. But, the other part of your brain, the still self-conscious and self-doubting side, also makes valid points. The void years in between your relationship werenât mentioned in his confession, and you technically arenât dating. He hasnât even asked you out yet! Itâs too conflicting. But you know you have to face both of them today. After the ceremony.
The taxi ride to the venue is not only long but full of traffic. The sun shining bright directly to your face, the light humming of the driver to the songs of the radio and the occasional car horn on the distance, somehow make it bearable, with all the thoughts about the previous night, switching sides between the he said she said, itâs nice to have something constant while your minds goes on a rollercoaster.
A rollercoaster that doesnât stop even when you arrive. As soon as you step foot outside the car, Oliviaâs mom rushes you upstairs to where the make-up artists set up. Thereâs no time to admire the beautiful countryside venue. You walk past the door to where the ceremonyâs going to be held later, but rush up the stairs without even looking. The green dress already waiting for you at the door, an infinite echo of voices and even more people running around make the atmosphere feel dizzying.
Nothing slows down for even a second. Even when youâre sitting down having your make-up done, around you thereâs only people rushing to do everything, stressing about the little details, people running into the room to tell Olivia or her mom about decorations, the wedding planner coming in and out constantly, checking everythingâs in order. Itâs kind of beautiful how all this mess has the sole purpose of making today the best day for the couple. Even if it doesnât look like it, no one will remember the dress that wasnât properly ironed, or the string of hair that had too much hairspray on it, or the too slippery shoes that made it a chore to walk on the tiled floor.
So much chaos happens between the hair and make-up, and then with the photoshoots, you donât have time to talk to Mingyu. Your eyes would cross from time to time, but those milliseconds of him in a suit glaring at you from across the room are enough, and thereâs so much of that you can take before an internal chain reaction begins.
The walk downstairs, after all the make-up retouches and fixes to any rebellious stray hair that didnât want to stay in place, feels like the first calm and slow moment of the day. As the steps get closer and closer to the bottom floor, the red carpet muffling the clicking of your shoes, your insides feel fire-like when you see Mingyu waiting for you by the final step, an unknowing smile on his face. His eyes drill holes on your figure, scanning you up and down shamelessly.
âYou chose this one, I like it.â He whispers by your ear as you walk to the door, where every pair is already waiting. A little smile shows on your face, but it fades when your eyes encounter Cassieâs, watching the two of you with a frown so little you only notice because she immediately relaxes her face.
The music starts before you can say anything to Mingyu, and one by one, each of the bridesmaids start walking down the aisle, arms linked with the groomsmen, gracefully walking forward as the eyes of every guest fall on them. Your arm tangled with his is the first touch you share since many days ago, and even with all the conflict making your mind a blur, your heart speeds up at the feeling of his muscles.
Nothing seems slow anymore, and the ceremony almost goes by without noticing. There isnât one second where you donât feel Mingyuâs eyes on you, making it impossible to focus â or pretend to focus â on what the priest is saying.
The moment your brain reconnects with your ears, Thomas delivers the most beautiful vows youâve ever heard. You met the guy only once, never even spoken to him, but the way he speaks so fondly about Olivia makes your heart clutch in your chest, and your throat tries to fight it, but you end up bursting with tears. But youâre not the only one with a cascade of dramatic tears falling with seemingly no end. As the room fills with applause and even some whistles at the first kiss between the officially married couple, you see some people with tissues, quietly blowing their nose.
But the never-ending rush in time continues, everyone sprinting to sit at their tables for the reception. The last retouches of make-up get done quickly. The girls gossip to kill the time before the dance, because for them itâs moving so slowly, but in the blink of an eye, youâre going out the door once again, just as Cassie taps on your shoulder. You turn to her, expecting her to be angry, or at least to start speaking, but it looks like sheâs still figuring out what to say.
âThank you, for taking care of me last night, Iâm sure you wouldâve preferred to enjoy the party.â
âI wasnât going to leave you alone, itâs fine, you donât have to thank me. Are you feeling better?â
âYeah, I am! But actually, I wanted to apologize.â Your head spins, dizzy from the world suddenly stopping hearing her words. âI didnât know there was something going on between you two.â
âThereâs not- I mean, not much happened, I didnât want to cause a fuzz over it.â
âBut you shouldâve told me you liked him, at least! If I knew about it, I wouldnât have gone after him.â You see in her eyes nothing but honesty. âI know weâre not as close as before, but these are the things we need to tell each other. Itâs the girl code.â
âI donât really know why I didnât, I know I shouldâve, I didnât know how.â Youâve now started to go downstairs to the reception, already the time to dance in pairs.
âLook, itâs okay if youâre not comfortable telling me this, but did something happen? Was he talking about you last night?â
Youâve reached where everyone is waiting, and youâre too embarrassed to look up and possibly find Mingyu standing there, leg-melting and breathtaking.
âI thought about it but I donât know, maybe?â
Back at the reception, the music starts, signaling the newlyweds are about to begin their first dance, meaning in no time youâll have to step in and dance around them.
âIâm going to ask you three questions and you just have to answer yes or no. There's no need for explanation, okay?â
âOâŚKay?â
âSo, you two knew each other in school, did you like him?â You nod shyly, not looking in her eyes, embarrassed to be talking about this so openly, âDid he like you?â You nod again, âAnd did something happen recently that would indicate that he would like to date you in the near future?â
You give her a final nod and finally look up at her. She sighs, taking your hand and squeezing it to make you pay attention.
âThen he meant you dummy! Go, talk to him. Heâs been staring at you all day like a lost puppy.â
When you dare to look his way, where you just knew he was standing, heâs looking at you, a little smirk on his lips and subtly motioning he's ready to take your hand. You didnât notice it was already time, and everyone around you stands in their position.
The pairs start entering one by one, and your smile trembles, feeling the eyes of every guest on you. Your fingers barely graze his, but they feel raw, like you can feel every particle of his hand below yours. The electric fire emerging from where your skin connects with his runs through your veins in record time.
But as soon as the music starts and Mingyu turns you so youâre looking at him, everything is forgotten. The steps come easily, his eyes calm but observing, his hand on your waist guiding you as he did every time you practiced.
âYouâve been avoiding me.â He whispers, not wanting to disrupt the moment, but knowing itâs the only time youâll get alone.
âI swear I didnât mean to.â
You panic. There was so much to do and so few words you could come up with to say to him that maybe you unconsciously avoided him by locking yourself up in the make-up room.
âDid I do something wrong?â He doesnât sound hurt, but rather just plain curious, eager to work this out between you two.
âNo! it was just a misunderstanding,â he waits for you to continue, but the part of your brain that makes sense starts crumbling, making it impossible to form a coherent argument, âI- can I ask you something? It might sound stupid, Iâm warning you.â
âGo ahead.â He chuckles, his feet continuing to dance while you've already forgotten about it. One of your hands stays on his shoulder, while the other is being held by him, still in the air by your sides, reaching the height of your shoulders.
âYouâre not dating anyone, are you?â
He doesnât let the silence even come close to the two of you, chuckling quietly so youâre the only one who can hear it.
âIâm not, hard to believe I know, but Iâm painfully single.â
âGreat, I just wanted to make sure.â
âI remember telling you I want to take you on a date.â
âY-yeah, of course I remember that too."
The pit of your stomach lights up at the remainder of that afternoon in his home, your bodies as close as they are at this moment.
âThen what made you think that?â
âYou just, you said to Cassie last night that you started seeing someone recently and, I donât know, we didnât technically start dating, so I panicked.â Saying it out loud to him, it sounds ridiculous, but if he thinks that, he doesnât show it.
âOh that, yeah, I mightâve gotten ahead of myself, but hey, think of it as manifesting.â Heâs so charming that you donât care that heâs making no sense.
âNext time, donât tell a drunk girl whoâs flirting with you the wrong information. She might spread it around.â
The synchronized chuckle you let out makes you pay attention to the forgotten situation. Youâre dancing and havenât tripped once, like your muscles got a life of their own and remembered every single step. And you suddenly realize how close your body is to Mingyuâs. One hand down the small of your back, pressing just enough to hold you in his personal space, his face close enough that you could concentrate on his breathing and feel the light exhales on your face.
When the music ends, the applause makes you look around, and your cheeks feel warm immediately, noticing all the eyes on every one of you. But the attention is short-lived, as you and Mingyu walk quickly to your table so the couple can do the welcome toasts. You don't miss how he slides your chair closer to his before you sit down.
Sitting by your side, Mingyuâs body and yours are connected by an electric current, drawing you closer. His knee stays glued to yours, and the cut on the side of your dress allows your bare skin to brush against the fabric of his pants. A conversation takes place between everyone at the table, one of the guys telling a story about something funny that happened with Tom back in high-school, but itâs hard to pay any real attention when Mingyuâs fingers start tracing circles on your knee. Heâs not even doing to be a tease. It seems like itâs a habit of his, one that youâre just discovering. You donât stop your fingers from playing with his, and a subtle smirk forms on his lips at your action.
Itâs not like youâre doing anything too flashy or indecent, but you do your best to mask your reactions to his touches, to try and keep the people of the table unaware of the not so innocent things going on under the fancy tablecloth. He only notices your changes because heâs paying attention to you. The way your chest rises just a tad bit more when his hand goes a little over your knee, or how you drink from your cold glass of water when he presses on the skin of your inner thigh, but when heâs about to move his hand off of you, you put yours on his to keep it in place. You also notice things throughout the night, for example, that Mingyu isnât drinking a lot, restricting to one glass of champagne per serving. You do the same, wanting to remember this night in the future.
Mingyu stands up when the dancefloor opens again, turning down an offer to go to the bar for something stronger than sparkling wine. Instead, he reaches for your hand, silently inviting you to dance with him, to which you agree, with a smile and avoiding his eyes. Following behind him, he doesnât let go of your hand, even when youâve reached the spot he wanted. People join you on the dancefloor, drunkenly vibing to the dj set, surrounding you, and blocking you from anyone you know. Itâs feels almost private. Whatever song is playing on the speakers, it doesnât prevent you from following your own rhythm in your own world. Your arms wrap around Mingyuâs neck, and both of his hands hold your waist, mirroring the evening at his place.
âSo, tell me, what other embarrassing things did you do when you liked me?â
He throws his head back in embarrassment, sighing with a smile before daring to look at you again. His ears turn a light shade of pink, and you swear you can feel his heartbeat between your bodies.
âI really told you that, did I? I was hoping you wouldn't remember.â
âNope, I remember it very vividly actually.â
âLetâs leave the embarrassing stories for the future, I wasnât in my best condition last night.â
âYouâre making me too curious now, but how drunk did you get last night?â
âHonestly, I was just nervous about seeing you and about tonight.â He might be confessing another embarrassing thing, but behind his truthful tone, thereâs something you canât quite decipher.
âWhatâs there to be nervous about tonight?â
Your heels allow you to be in his line of sight, and your chests are too close. If you inhaled deeply, youâd be able to feel him on you. He takes advantage of your new height and forces your attention to go to his lips, smirking shamelessly as he thinks his next words.
âDid I tell you how pretty you look today?"
One hand comes close to your face, removes a strand of hair from blocking your view, and tucks it behind your ear.
âOh, shut up.â
You canât even think of a snarky response, your brain melting and showing just how much he affects you. Goosebumps spread all across your arms and back at the feel of his hand caressing your skin.
âI canât, itâs all Iâve thinking about all day, you, this dress, and you in this dress.â
You instinctively hide your face on the crook of his neck, his cologne invading your senses. Itâs hard to think of words when heâs looking at you like he wants to eat you whole.
âI got it because of you. Do you really like it?â
Not that you need any confirmation, since heâs told you twice already, but it wouldnât hurt to hear it from him one more time. Your reveal makes his smirking lips graze your ear, sending shivers down your spine, and his voice drops an octave to answer.
âI love the dress, but Iâll love it more once I get it off you.â
âI hate you.â
You barely manage to say, your chest rising but breathless at the same time. Your bodyâs automatic reaction is to push him away, and your hands go straight to his chest to try, but of course itâs pointless. His hands catch yours, not letting you leave his personal space. He taunts you by spinning you around, and once you do a full twirl, he grabs you by the waist again and brings your body to his.
âYou have no idea how hard it was for me that day when you stepped out, wearing this.â He gets closer to your ear with every word. You hate it and love it. For one, you can hide from his teasing eyes and blush in peace, but on the other hand, you are cheek to cheek with him, his breath fanning lightly on your side, and you can feel heâs still smirking. âYouâre lucky there were other people in the room.â
A breath catches in your throat, and you swallow hard. You thank all the gods there are out there for being surrounded by drunk people. Because to anyone on their senses, your reaction to Mingyu's words would be too obvious.
âI really hate you right now.â
Itâs getting harder and harder to ignore the heat growing at the pit of your stomach.
âYou donât.â
âI do.â
âI think itâs quite the opposite actually.â
How are you supposed to play hard to get when his hands hold you like he wants to keep you forever?
âYou think you know everything.â
You catch your voice about to tremble when his free hand starts going down the side of your arm, from your shoulder down until your hand, and interlocks his fingers with yours.
âIf you hate me then, I canât tell you the secret Iâve been keeping all night.â
âHave you been secretly writing an article about how to break someoneâs heart in 10 days?â
âI love that movie, but it has been well over 10 days, I couldnât make the deadline.â
âRom-com connoisseur, noted.â You jokingly nod, but not forgetting whatâs important. âNow tell me.â
âSo, you know how they told us there were rooms available for anyone that couldn't drive home?â You nod, too enthusiastically. âI may or may not have booked one for tonight, and if you want to, thereâs space for one more, we donât have to do anything if you donât want toâŚâ He keeps talking, something about you watching him do something, but you get lost in the way his lips move as he talks, so pink and fast and hypnotizing.
âIsnât it rude to just leave?â
The question leaves your mouth more to tease him than anything else. You want to be alone with him so badly, feel his body all over yours, his hands everywhere he can reach, ripping this godforsaken dress off you.
Before the last food serving rolls out and everyone scatters to go back to their seat, you sneak out of the reception, but the drunk bodies are not making it easy. Mingyu leads the way with you grabbing his hand and walking behind him. You donât know if you couldâve managed another teasing touching session under the table.
You take a left turn into the hallway just at the same time as one of Olivia's drunk uncles, a stranger to the both of you, whoâs half asleep using the wall to steady himself as he walks. The music echoes through the walls, and you can only look at each other, half about to burst out laughing and half needing to take the others clothes off, as you walk as nonchalantly as possible past the man trying his best to open his door.
Giggling like teenagers, you finally reach your room at the end of the hallway, but the second you enter, the atmosphere changes. Standing by the closed door, shoes off, panting, and frozen in place, you only look at each other. Your breaths regulate, and your smiles slowly fade off your expressions as the realization hits. Itâs real. Heâs here, and youâre here, in a room just for the two of you. His eyes are bound to your parted lips, but you wouldnât know, as yours are also unable to leave his.
Like magnets, brutally drawn to each other, your lips finally reconnect in a hungry, desperate kiss. After learning how sweet he tastes, how his lips glide over yours so easily, how he wraps his arms around you to keep you close to him, there was only so much time you could spend in abstinence.
No words needed, the want translating in the way your hands push him against you, his hands traveling across your back, touching and groping everywhere he can reach. After the long day testing your patience, neither of you can slow down.
His fang claws at your bottom lip, making you whimper against him. He drinks in any sound you make, his arms bringing your body impossibly closer to his, almost making you one. No one is in control, both of you just touching and grabbing anywhere you can, desperate for more.
Your mouths reluctantly separate as Mingyu starts leaving a trail of kisses down your neck and biting lightly on your sensitive skin, making you gasp. You can only thread your fingers on his hair, encouraging him to leave any marks he wishes to.
âIs this okay?â
His raspy voice travels to your ears, and you donât trust yourself to not make unholy noises if you open your mouth to answer. But just as youâre humming, he digs his teeth just above your clavicle, turning your hum into a moan.
He slowly slides the straps of your dress down your shoulders, his fingers teasing your skin on the way down. His hand travels across your chest, only the silky green fabric in between your fiery skin and his teasing fingers. They go over your pointy hard nipples, feeling everything on its way, but not letting it stay anywhere for more than a second.
âAre you going to take it off?â
Your breathlessness makes him chuckle, smug and cocky as ever.
âRushed?â
âVery. Youâre the one that put the thought in my head, now take care of it!â His hands sneak up your back, playing with the zipper of your dress.
âDonât act so innocent.â His tone goes straight to your core. The fabric around you loosens up as his hand runs down your spine, but he stops before it gets too loose to slip down. âYou think I didnât see the way you looked at me all day? Youâre not slick.â
He takes a step back to take off his suit jacket, absentmindedly throwing it to the side without breaking eye contact. But you don't let yourself get shy.
âWho said I was trying to hide it?â
Your hands run from his shoulders to his chest, unbuttoning his shirt one by one as his breathing speeds up. The warmth of his body envelops your hands, your fingers barely grazing the skin above his pants, and his muscles tense at your touch before you slip his shirt off.
âNow whoâs the one teasing?â
Pulling on the red tie around his neck, he swallows hard as you bring his head closer to yours, so close you unconsciously flutter your eyes closed. His bare chest rises against yours as you undo his tie slowly. You could tilt your chin up and break the tension once more, but something in you wants to keep teasing him.
A step back is all you need to have his lips chase you, and he opens his eyes, droopy and confused, to find you slipping your dress off. His stare turns surprised and hungry as you reveal yourself for him, but his body stays frozen in place.
âIâm supposed to do that.â
Itâs your time to chuckle now, taking a step forward again. His hands slot on your waist instinctively, traveling to your stomach, enjoying the feeling of your soft skin against his hands.
âYouâll get to do it next time.â The sentence is almost left unfinished, a breath getting caught in your throat when his hands dare go up your chest. But theyâre gone in a heartbeat, as they reach your face and tilt it so you can properly look at him.
âAre you sure you want to do this?â No teasing tone on his voice.
âIâm literally naked in front of you.â Your hands go back up to his neck, pushing his head slightly down, reaching a hypnotic closeness. âI want this, I want you Mingyu.â
Confirmation is all he needed to let loose, to let the want take over his body and soul. He connects your lips with force, and wastes no time. With his hands on your ass and his tongue working its way inside your mouth, he stumbles backwards until you both fall on the bed.
With you on top of Mingyu, your hands make their way across his chest, his golden skin glistening due to the sweat. You can feel his hard muscles tense under your touch, making him sigh on your mouth when you find his sensitive spots. His hands move to your hips and push you down on him, making you both moan un unison because of the first friction between your cores.
His growing hard grinds deliciously against you. Even with his pants still between you, you can feel how big he is, and the wet patch on your panties grows by the second. Your lips are still smashed together, a mess of saliva allowing your lips you glide faster and hungrier on his, your tongues becoming one, not wanting to separate ever again.
Your hands find their way down his abdomen, reaching where his pants hang on his hips. The absence of a belt makes it easier for you to unbutton them, and he takes the off expertly, all without ever taking his hands off you.
The second your hand sneaks under his underwear, he groans under you, disconnecting your mouths to take a look at you.
âIs it embarrassing to be already close?â His blood red lips are parted, breathing out his confession, and you almost moan, clenching around nothing because of the sight, or his confession, or maybe the whimper he fights when you wrap your hand around him.
âYouâre so big, fuck.â You sigh, and the side of his mouth quirks up, but slowly disappears as you start sliding your hand down, smearing the precum on his length.
âIâm not gonna hurt you.â
His eyes have a mix of concern and lust on them, and your body doesnât know how to react, your stomach flips, your hands tremble, and your underwear grows wetter.
âI know you wonât.â
You climb down on him, your eyesight reaching where his boxers begin to tent. His gaze follows you, like he canât believe the reality of whatâs happening. You take off the last piece of clothing left on his body, and his dick springs free, standing proud and angry red in front of your eyes. The throb on your throat makes you move forward, wrapping your lips around his leaking tip.
âWait. Donât.â You look up at him but heâs facing the ceiling, ears red and eyes closed. âI canât.â
âI havenât done anything.â You play innocent, and a smirk appears on your face when he finally looks at you, resting on his elbows.
âExactly, thatâs why I canât, I need to have a little bit of pride left.â
âWhat do you suggest we do?â You slowly climb up on him again, his hands moving to your hips like they got a life of their own. One hand on his chest and one hand on his jaw, you kiss him softly, and he melts at your touch.
A soft moan is heard, could be from him, could be from you, but your mind is too clouded to care when he rolls his hips against yours, following the pace of your lazy kiss. A rush of arousal takes over your body when he presses you harder against him, his length sliding perfectly with your core, your wetness making it easier to reach every point that makes you gasp.
âI want,â his lips stop working on yours, but his arms keep you from separating. You feel his every breath, every gasp at the friction, and his lips graze yours when he speaks, âI want to taste you.â
âFuck.â He might just be able to feel the new rush of wetness dampening your panties further and smearing around his hard below you. His hands push your hips up his body. He told you what he wants, and heâs showing you exactly how he wants it. âAre you sure? I donât want to crush your skull.â
âI wouldnât mind that, at least Iâd die happy.â
âWell, I canât argue with that if you want it.â
The chuckle he lets out reverberates from his chest up through your whole body. Thereâs not much you can do besides complying with his wants, especially with the way your bodyâs reacting to the sole idea of it and the way heâs moving you to where he wants.
His hands sneak under the strings of your underwear, and as you climb higher and higher, he removes them easily, leaving you bare on top of him.
âYouâre so wet, shit.â Your pussy pulsates just above his face. You canât see his reaction, but you for sure can hear it, âI wouldâve done this sooner if I knew this was waiting for me.â
From your point of view, his whole face is covered, by you, on top of him, only his messy hair laying on the mattress can be seen. A view thatâs dizzying and hypnotic at the same time, and you canât think of any answer to give him. His breath on your wet core makes you shiver, but youâre afraid to sit down, afraid youâll hurt him.
Mingyu senses your hesitation and gives you no more time to doubt. His head rises until his tongue meets your folds, flattening on you, desperate to make you feel good. The sudden stimulation makes your legs tremble, and you would've fell on his face if it wasnât from his hands still holding your hips.
He starts making out with your cunt, moaning and groaning against it like this is also pleasurable for him. His tongue finds every place that makes you gasp, moan and whimper, and with every lap at your folds, a nasty wet sound accompanies it.
A shaky moan escapes out of you when he envelops your clit with his lips and sucks lightly, making you grab the headboard so you donât fall on him.
You mustâve fully sit on his mouth in your search for support, because he moans louder against your pussy, and you can feel everything. His lips and tongue working to drink every drop of arousal that leaves you, discovering every sensitive spot you didnât know about.
The tip of his nose bumps your clit just as his tongue finds its way inside your pulsing hole, and you instinctively move your hand down to pull at his hair. The action encourages him to go faster, harder, and when you grind on his face and he groans like heâs enjoying it, you let go.
Riding him, chasing your high, youâre using his tongue for your own pleasure. Your hand on his hair tightens, and you lose the little control you had of your throat. But the unfiltered sounds you make just push him harder. Every one of your senses is clouded. The wet sounds, the way he moans against you, his tongue already knowing where to go to make you squirm, everything culminates without warning.
You cum on his tongue faster than you have ever before. Your thighs tremble at either side of his head, and you realize youâre crushing him between them. But he doesn't let you get up. His tongue continues to work on you,
He cleans you up, drinking every last drop of arousal smeared on your skin. You spasm over him every time he ânot so accidentallyâ flicks your clit with the tip of his tongue, starting to get you overstimulated.
You use the strength you have left to push his head back, and take advantage of his surprise to plop down on his side, your back on the mattress and your pussy finally away of his eager mouth.
âAre you okay?â
From the corner of your eye, while you try to recover, you see Mingyu doing his best to clean the lower side of his face.
âYeah, fuck, that was a lot.â You manage to say in between breaths. âI need a second.â
âIf youâre too tired, we can st- fuck.â
You donât give time to overthink, quickly getting on top of him again, your swollen dripping cunt right on top of his still hard cock.
âSecond's over.â Only a little smirk is the warning he gets before youâre grinding on top of him again. All of your juices mix as you slowly ride back and forth, his length sliding between your wet folds deliciously. âIâm clean, and on the pill, are you?â
âOn the pill? Unfortunately not.â How he manages to make you laugh even on your horniest moments will forever remain a mystery. âBut Iâm clean, Iâve never had sex without a condom before.â
âMe neither. I guess this will be a new experience for the both of us.â The sole thought of it makes his dick twitch under you.
âAre you sure?â His hand cups the side of your face, and his eyes look at you with such care that you could melt in an instant.
âYes, I donât want to wait anymore. Weâve waited long enough.â That seems to relax him, his hands beginning to roam freely across your torso.
Sliding forward makes the veins of his cock drag along every sensitive spot and you both moan before his tip finally prods at your entrance. A loud hiss comes out of him as you align yourself with his length and push his tip in.
But before you can go any further, he wraps his arms around your waist and turns you around so your back is against the mattress. You gasp at the sudden change, and when he starts slowly sinking into you, filling every possible space inside you, you lose your breath.
His cock being covered by your fluids makes it easier, and when he finally bottoms out, so deep you feel him everywhere, you hear him trying to muffle a moan. Your gummy walls clamp around him, trying to get used to his size. The twitch of his length feels stronger while inside you, and you know heâs trying to resist the urge to pound into you.
âMove, please, I need you.â Your pathetic whimper triggers another smirk out of him, and as he moves down to give you a soft kiss, his eyes darken.
âWhatever my girl wants.â
The slow drag of his cock as he starts sliding it out almost make you delirious, but before his tip slips out, he snaps his full length right back in, making your body jolt upwards. You can't speak properly, a curse you canât even hear leaves your mouth before he repeats the action, again and again.
âSo deep, Mingyu, fuck.â The brutal pace he sets has him abusing every single sensitive spot inside you, even the ones you didnât know about, hitting relentlessly where it makes you scream, and youâre seeing stars.
âYou donât say my name often,â his voice is raspy and deep, almost mirroring the way his cock pistons inside of you, âI like how it sounds coming out of you."
Your palms are against the headboard and youâre sure the bed hitting against the wall can be heard from other rooms, but when one of his hands sneak between your bodies and starts circling your clit, you stop caring all along.
The grinding of your hips matches his rhythm, accentuating everything as he drives you closer and closer. With his face just above yours, you can only look him in the eyes and let him watch your face contort in pleasure feeling every vein of his cock dragging inside of you. With any other person, you would be self-conscious, but as he finds that spot inside you that makes you squirm, you forget the world around you and focus on grabbing his strong arms for support.
His teeth find your neck again, biting and kissing on your soft skin, pushing you closer and closer to the edge, and he doesnât stop drilling his hips into you. Somehow, you feel him deeper with every thrust, and the only thing you can do is claw your nails on his arms and back, encouraging him more and more.
âYouâre so tight, shit.â His hips stutter when you clench hearing his voice. âTell me youâre close, please, fuck, I donât now how long I got."
âYes! Yes, donât stop.â You tighten impossibly harder around him when you feel him pinch one of your nipples. Heâs literally everywhere, stimulating every spot to tip you over the edge.
Your arms and legs cage his body so close to yours that he has trouble keeping up with his pace, but that doesn't stop him from pounding hard. The sound of skin your skin hitting against his and his groans are like music to your ears.
It's when his thumb teases your clit again that you finally snap.
You tremble around him, moaning uncontrollably as he keeps pounding into you, prolonging your orgasm as he pleases and chasing his own. But heâs far gone too. Your sweet moans in his ear and your walls clenching around him so perfectly are enough to have him spilling inside you.
Sleepiness is about to get you when you feel him sliding out you and plopping by your side. Naturally, one of his arms slots under you as your head rests on the crook of his neck.
Thereâs silence while you both catch your breaths, his hand softly drawing circles on your back and yours on his chest. As reality sinks in, giddiness fills your entire body, and you canât contain the smile growing against his golden skin.
âDid you do any embarrassing things back then?â The sudden interrogation makes your cheeks turn red.
âIâm guessing thereâs no way out of this, right?â You avoid looking up at him to not make your shyness obvious, and you feel him shake his head as an answer. âFine⌠you know⌠your fangs?â
âMy fangs?!â Amusement and surprise mix on his voice.
âFuck this is so embarrassing.â Youâre caged between his arms but you manage to cover your face with your hands.
âYou liked my fangs?â
âI still do, but yeah, I would just draw little fangs everywhere, I guess no one ever noticed because they looked more like vampâ"
âWould you like to have dinner with me tomorrow?â He luckily interrupts your embarrassing rant with his pending question.
âAlready? You want to see me again that badly?â You feel the chuckle on his chest before you hear it, and at that moment, itâs the best sound youâve ever heard.
âI plan on taking you on dates at least three times a week. Youâre never getting rid of me now.â He embraces you in his arms, chests flushed together, and when you tilt your head up, heâs already looking at you, expectant for your answer. âSo, what do you say?â
âYes, I would love to have dinner with you tomorrow.â The smile he gives you might be the most blinding smile youâve ever seen. âBut just so you know, I do not have sex on first dates.â
thank you so much for readingâĽâĽ sorry this took so long to finish
#mingyu au#seventeen au#seventeen smut#mingyu smut#svt smut#kim mingyu au#svt au#kim mingyu smut#mingyu imagine#mingyu x reader
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pulse points | wen junhui
SYNOPSIS. Being the TA for your anatomy class has always been really rewarding, especially stemming in your passion for the medical field. But as itâs approaching the peak of the school semester and labs have gotten more intense, you arenât surprised to be dedicating your time to tutoring your strangely handsome, dorky, yet enigmatic classmate during after school hours â and reassuring him how to not be afraid of dissections. PAIRING. wen junhui x TA!reader (ft. performance unit as jun's roommates + mentions of wonwoo and jihoon) GENRE. fluff, classmates to lovers, humour WARNINGS/TAGS. unrealistic TA x student dynamics lmao, lots of medical sciency-anatomy talk, talks about dissections n cutting into things (they dissect a sheep brain), mentions of tools used for dissections, yn is wayyy too studious its a bit unhealthy perhaps, their love language is napping together n sharing food :(, alcohol and drinking (yn gets drunk đŁ), they flirt in the middle of a damn dissection AHHAHA WORD COUNT. 15.9k
notes: this is my fic for the "back to school" collab hosted by @camandemstudios! i hope u all enjoy <3 was lowkey hating this fic as i wrote it but... i think it turned out fine?!?! thank you to all my moots, specifically @bananabubble @slytherinshua @etherealyoungk and the collab discord server for either helping me w ideas n brainrot or reading over the fic!! love u all to the stars and back <3
Three dollars is not enough for Jun to buy himself lunch.Â
He could probably snag himself a stale, English muffin from the dining hall, but then heâd be walking around campus with a dry tongue until after his classes end. And unsurprisingly, he forgot his water bottle back in his apartment. Briefly, he considers texting Soonyoung or Minghao to perhaps drop by the apartment and grab his water bottle or even a quick snack thatâll last him, but the two of them were already knee deep enough of responsibilities of their own.Â
Fucking capitalism.Â
Heâs already out of breath speed walking all the way from across campus and through four different hallways. The large windows of the science building bring in the natural sunlight at the peak of the afternoon, allowing it to cascade across the polished floors and right to the ends of his feet with every step that he takes.Â
Jun purses his lips together tightly as he rounds one last corner before arriving in front of his current class: Anatomy. The quick glance at the time displayed on his phone shows that heâs around eight minutes late, which is way better than the fifteen minutes from last week. His shoulders slouch slightly with a bit of dread as he reaches for the doorknob and pulls it open.
Compared to the beginning of the year, thereâs more empty seats in the lecture hall now. Honestly, Jun is surprised he hasnât dropped out of the class yet, because his grade in all honesty isnât⌠the best, to put it simplyđheâs passing, somehow, but just barely.
But he simply canât afford to drop it and take on a new class like a snap of a finger, and he knows that if he bails now, heâll only be prolonging his graduation date, a situation neither his parents nor his bank account would be happy about. He wasnât even supposed to be in this class in the first place, but his horrible procrastination habits and the fact that the other classes he wanted filled up so quickly left him with no other choice.
Jun sits down in a seat near the back of the class, trying to blend in and hoping the professor wonât notice his tardiness. He swiftly pulls out his notebook and laptop and redirects his focus to the front of the classroom, where he sees Professor Lee already lecturing something about vascular anatomy and blood circulation, motioning towards the slideshow displayed on the screen.Â
ââŚthe brachiocephalic trunk branches off the aortic arch, which divides into the right subclavian artery and the right common carotid artery. These arteries supply blood to the arm and the brain, respectivelyâŚâ
The words seem to flow through his brain like water. Even when he jots them down in his notes for him to study later, he reads the words like hieroglyphics. Perhaps itâs the hunger getting to him or just the mounting stress, but the lecture feels like itâs slipping through his fingers.
By the time Professor Lee finishes with the lecture, he has five pages of notes that feel like a jumble of terms and diagrams.
However, just as he thought he might finally catch a break, the slideshow switches to the next slide.Â
âNow, letâs discuss the final major lab that will be crucial for your grades,â Professor Lee explains, a determined look on his face. âYour dissections that you will be finishing the year off with. Iâm letting you all know about these in advance so you would have plenty of time to prepare.â
Junâs stomach drops. Dissections. Of course, he knew it was coming, as it was quite literally listed in eye-catching bold letters in the syllabus at the beginning of the term. Yet the thought of cutting into anything and seeing its insides makes him almost squeamish.Â
âThis will account for a significant portion of your final grade. I canât stress enough how important it is to take this seriously. Remember that dissections arenât just about retaining names and locations in the body. Theyâre about seeing the relationships between different structures and understanding how they function together in real life.â
Every fibre of his being is aching for him to raise his hand and stupidly refute. He imagines what heâd sayđâIâm not good with blood,â or âIs there another activity I could do because Iâm absolutely scared shitless?âđbut the words stick in his throat. Instead, he slouches further in his seat, hoping to disappear. He weighs all of his options, but theyâre all equally unappealing: he canât drop the class, he canât afford to fail, and he certainly canât magically become proficient at dissections overnight.
âSince the class has an uneven amount of students and the limited amount of specimens we have, Iâve decided to pair you all up. Y/N, may you hand out the partner lists?â
Jun feels himself tense in his seat as his eyes scan the room and land on you. Not only are you the TA of the class, but your seemingly calm demeanour as you drift throughout the room handing each student paperwork makes you appear almost intimidating to his eyes.Â
When you finally reach him, he swears he catches a glimpse of a slight curl to your lips as you silently hand him the slip of paper that contains his partner assignment, before walking down to the next person.Â
At first, the paper essentially states the same information that was discussed earlier: the dissection assignment, guidelines, and a list of required materials. But then his gaze falls to the part that matters most: his partner's name.
Y/N L/N, it reads. Youâre his partner. Shit.
Your calm, composed attitude and role as the TA have already set a high bar for expectations in his mind. Youâre probably going to be hyperanalysing and dissecting every aspect of his class performance, knowing his poor little heart wouldnât be able to handle all that. You probably already have this tarnished reputation of him in your mind, with his frequent tardiness and the amount of times heâs dozed off in class.
Jun glances around the lecture hall, noticing other students exchanging whispers and glances at their own partner assignments. Some seem relieved, while others look as apprehensive as he feels. His stomach churns with the thought of having to work closely with you.
Professor Lee clears his throat and speaks, âNow that you all know your partners, I request that you all sit next to each other. These will be your seats starting from today and until the lab finishes. I also strongly encourage you all to exchange contact information with each other. Your collaboration together will be vital to your success in this lab.â
As the students shuffle around, Jun finds himself stuck in an uncomfortable limbo, watching as everyone pairs up and settles into their new seats, naturally exchanging contact information with one another. Then he shuffles for his backpack that was leaning against his chair in order to go find where you sit, but as heâs about to stand up, heâs met with you taking a seat right next to him.
Your eyes meet. A faint smile crosses your features. His backpack slips off his shoulders and falls to the floor with a dramatic thump.
âHi,â You greet him softly, before offering a hand to him. âGranola bar? Had an extra one.â
Jun just blinks, eyes flickering between your face and the hand you have extended out to him. Then he awkwardly clears his throat, tentatively reaching out to grab the granola bar from your grasp, and the warmth emitting from your hand seems to crawl up his neck.Â
âThanks,â he mutters sheepishly, shifting his gaze away to hide a small upturn to the corners of his lips.Â
The rest of class passes by in a blur, mainly with Professor Lee going over proper attire to wear and safety protocols for the dissection labs. And when the clock strikes dismissal time, students begin to filter out of the lecture hall, chatting amongst themselves as Jun struggles to stuff his laptop inside his backpack.Â
Youâre already gone to the front to talk to Professor Lee when Jun looks over. He watches as you hand in what looks like a stack of paper, only to be given another one right back, probably of assignments that the class has done lately. The air of professionalism that surrounds you is quite admirable, he would say.Â
You seem to exchange a few more words with Professor Lee before turning on your heel to leave the lecture hall, the stack of papers neatly held under your arm.
By the time Jun is already on his way to his next class, he pulls the granola bar that you had given him out from the pocket of his jeans, unwrapping it and taking a bite out of it, savouring the moment as it relieves his nerves and gnawing hunger.Â
Then by the time finishes his last class for the day, reality hits him the second he steps out of the building. Figuratively, and maybe even literally, at this point.Â
He forgot to get your number for this lab.
The click of your pen echoes throughout the vast lecture hall. Unintelligible mutters leave your lips as your eyes quickly scan over the papers in front of you with ease. Among the many tasks you have assigned as TA, grading assignments is one of them, and you find yourself marking and correcting each paper just as youâve done many times before.Â
There used to be rumours floating around that your grading style was particularly strict, even more so than Professor Lee. Though it was probably spread around with the intention to intimidate other students and establish your reputation as someone annoyingly meticulous, you hardly let it get to you.Â
The truth is, you were fair in your grading, but thorough. You didnât see the point in letting half-baked work slide, especially when you knew these assignments could determine someoneâs future. Medicine has been your passion for as long as you could remember, and that dedication extended into almost everything you did. Being the TA for the class was just one factor of it.Â
Itâs much, much quieter after school hours when most classes have finished for the day, and itâs natural to bask in the peacefulness that drifts throughout the barren room. You sort out the papers in front of you in a neat stack before taking a moment to stretch your arms up above your head, a soft sigh leaving you at the tension dissipating away from your limbs.Â
As you begin to shuffle through all the papers in front of youđseparating them into piles of graded assignments and unfinished ones that youâll save for later onđthereâs a quiet knock at the door that makes you pause in place. You turn your head towards the door, anticipating for someone to come in.Â
Then another knock.
You swear you see some sort of shadow in the door window. It appears then disappears, and you roll your eyes, thinking it was just someone who was lost or purposely going around knocking on each door (which has happened way more than one could expect).Â
The shadow appears again, and this time, you decide on heading to the door yourself. And as you twist the doorknob and pull the door open simultaneously, you find yourself coming face-to-face with Jun, who looks a bit sheepish as heâs caught mid-knock. His eyes widen upon seeing you right in front of him, and he brings his hand down to his side.Â
You blink up at him, not expecting for him to be here at this moment of the day.
âJunhui?âÂ
Itâs at this point of his life that Jun realises he really isnât used to people calling him by his proper first name. But the way you say it is differentđsoft and warm, like an unexpected compliment.
âUh, hi,â he greets a tad bit awkwardly, mentally slapping himself in the face. âI hope Iâm not interrupting anything?âÂ
âOh, no, youâre not. Donât worry,â You tell him reassuringly, catching the way his eyes seem to flicker everywhere but on you. âIs there anything I can help you with?âÂ
Jun fidgets slightly, his gaze bouncing between the floor and your face. He takes a deep breath, trying to steady his nerves. âActually, I... um, forgot to get your number earlier today. For⌠for the lab, I mean. Professor Lee said we should exchange information so I thought I would ask. Unless you donât want to, of course.â
You raise an eyebrow, a hint of a smile playing at your lips. âAh, I see. No problem. Iâm glad you came by to get it. Here, let me justđâ
You shove into your back pocket to retrieve your phone, only to feel that it wasnât there. Then you glance over to your desk, seeing it sitting next to your abundance of papers, before returning back to Jun.
You shove a hand into your back pocket to retrieve your phone, only to feel that it wasnât there. Then you glance over to your desk, seeing it sitting next to your abundance of papers, before returning back to Jun.
âHere, you can come in. Let me just get my phone real quick.â You step to the side and open the door wider for him.
Jun visibly hesitates in the doorway, before muttering a quiet thank you and stepping inside the lecture hall. Itâs certainly a sight to see the room so stripped of other students besides you and him, the sounds of his footsteps bouncing off the walls. He takes in the stacks of papers that you have spread across your desk, and he feels some nerves snake their way up his spine at the thought of you grading his work.
âWow, that looks like a lot,â he comments gingerly.Â
âYeah, itâs quite the pile, right?â You agree with a light chuckle as you grab your phone and unlock it. âAlways happens near the end of the sem.âÂ
Junâs eyes wash over you with a look of concern. âThat seems⌠stressful.â
You just shrug nonchalantly. âItâs nothing I canât handle. Besides, it keeps me busy.âÂ
âWell, you should get some good rest after this then,â he remarks coolly.Â
âWish I could, but I have some tutoring scheduled in about half an hour,â You say, tone warm but tinged with a hint of weariness as you glance at the time on your phone. âOne of the students in the intro biology class needs help with some of the basics before their midterm. So⌠rest will have to wait.â
From that, Jun shifts awkwardly, his fingers playing with the strap of his backpack. His brain races as he considers his options. Youâre clearly knowledgeable and dedicated, not to mention you seem approachable, but the thought of admitting how much heâs struggling makes his throat dry, plus the guilt of adding more to your busy plate.Â
âTutoring, huh?â Jun finally says, trying to sound casual. âIs that⌠something you do a lot?â
You nod, tapping away on your phone as you pull up your contact information. âYeah, actually. Itâs nice to help people out. Keeps me up with the material too. Usually Iâm free most days at any time after classes.â
Jun continues to gaze at you wonderingly until after you pick up your head to look at him, to which he faces away immediately. He scratches the back of his neck bashfully, before fixing his posture and clearing his throat.
âDo you⌠have room for one more student?â Then he feels the immediate regret afterwards. âItâs okay if not. I know that youâre busy and all thatđâ
âJunhui,â You interrupt gently, a calm smile on your face. âI have room. Donât worry about it.
He lets out a breath he didnât realise he was holding, the reassuring warmth on your face easing the knots in his stomach. âReally? You wouldnât mind?â
âIâd be more than happy to find a time that works for us both. Just let me know what you need, and weâll figure a time out. Weâre lab partners, after all,â You say gleefully. âSpeaking of which, you can put your number in here.â
You extend an arm with your phone in-hand. Jun takes the phone from your hand, his fingers brushing against yours for a brief moment, and types in his phone number and information. When he hands the phone back, he looks up to meet your eyes, trying to muster a more confident expression.
âThank you so much, really, IâŚâ His voice trails off for a moment, trying to regain his words. âIâll owe you one for this, truly.âÂ
âThereâs no need.â
Jun shakes his head. âSeriously, Iâll feel bad.â
You bite at your bottom lip in thought, an endearing look washing over your features as you consider his insistence. The pleading in his eyes is hard to ignore, and it makes your heart soften in your chest. You take a moment to think before offering a small, playful grin.
âAlright.â You cross your arms together. âWeâll see.âÂ
Perhaps⌠you arenât as intimidating as he thinks.
Jun is staring at a sheep brain.Â
Not a real oneđa picture of one, specifically. Itâs apparently very similar to the human brain, and the specimen heâs expected to dissect for the upcoming lab.Â
He stares at the image displayed on the large screen right before his eyes, feeling a strange mix of fascination and dread. The detailed structures and labels are overwhelming, each word swimming in and out of focus as he tries to absorb the information. It's not that he isn't interestedđon the contrary, there's a part of him that's genuinely curious about how it all works, and the other part of him is utterly disturbed.Â
Youâre sitting next to him again, just like everyone else is sitting next to their partners, taking notes and even drawing a very rushed outline of the brain on your paper.Â
âWe have to dissect thatâŚ?â Jun whispers under his breath, as if speaking any louder might bring the brain to life.Â
âYep,â You reply, glancing over at Jun. âItâs not as bad as it looks.â
Jun attempts to stifle a groan, eyes going between the image on the screen and down to his near-empty notes. He canât help but wonder how on earth heâs going to get through this without completely embarrassing himself.
Letting your eyes roam over Jun for a moment, the visible discomfort in the way he crosses his arms together and the furrow in his brow doesnât escape your notice. Casually, you scoot your chair towards him a little bit, along with your notebook so that itâs settled in the space between the two of you with the outline of the brain clearly visible on the page. Your shoulder almost brushes against his.Â
âHere,â You say softly, tapping your pen on the page. âIâve got the main structures labeled already. You can add them to your notes if you want. I can explain it to you in more detail when you come to tutoring tomorrow?â
Oh, thatâs right. Tomorrow is the day you both were free and decided it was the day where Jun could stop by after classes end to have his first tutoring session with you.Â
âYeah, uh, that would be great,â Jun responds quietly, peeking over at how neat and organised your notes appeared to be. âThank you.â
âNo problem.â You nod, before soundlessly shuffling inside your bag and extending it out to Jun. âGranola bar?âÂ
Jun glances at the granola bar being offered by you, its wrapper crinkling slightly as you hold it out to him. He smiles, a little lopsided but genuine, and takes the bar from you. The hesitation in his shoulders has deflated slightly than from the first time you proposed one to him.Â
Maybe this wonât be so bad after all.
âBro, are you going out on a date or what? Youâre stinking up a storm here.â Soonyoung lets out a few dramatic coughs at the sudden sharp scent of Minghaoâs perfume hitting his nose, followed by Chan behind him nearly gagging at the smell. Though obviously one would expect for the owner himself to be the one using it, he certainly didnât expect for the culprit to be none other than Jun.
Okay, yes, he may have accidentally sprayed a shit ton of Minghaoâs perfume on himself, which was a bit of an overkill. But he clearly wasnât thinking straight after waking up from a nap between deciding to take a really quick shower or stealing his roommateâs expensive perfume.Â
âYou think this is too much?â Jun asks unsurely.Â
Beside him, Chan rolls his eyes while clutching a bowl of ramen. âYou smell like youâre trying to cover up a crime scene. It might suffocate someone. Where are you even going anyway?â
Jun clears his throat. âTutoringđâ
âTutoring?!â Soonyoung exclaims in surprise. âFor which class?â
âAnatomyđâ
âHell no,â Soonyoung crinkles his nose at the mention of anatomy. âYou're telling me youâre getting all dolled up for a tutoring session on dissecting brains and guts? Are you trying to seduce the organs or something?âÂ
Jun groans at his roommateâs words, shaking his head. But before he can say anything in response, Chan seems to beat him to it.
âDonât you have this really strict TA in your class too? Iâve heard that they donât even offer partial credit or crack a smile during lectures. Like, theyâre just a machine, dude,â the youngest adds in.
Itâs quite literally insane to hear that kind of description about you leave Chanâs mouth when all of his interactions with you have been nothing but short and sweet, to put it simply. Though he wonât deny heâs heard all those rumours spread around about youđthat youâre strict, and perhaps a bit intimidating. Heâs had his fair share of moments where he felt overwhelmed by your grading and meticulous nature. Yet from what heâs seen of you so far, youâre passionate, friendly if anything, and your smile is⌠cute.Â
Jun only shrugs his shoulders. âYeah, theyâre in my class, but Iâm just trying to get my grade up before the year ends. I think I can handle them.âÂ
Soonyoung huffs a breath, stepping up to Jun and giving him some sort of comforting pat on the back, almost like he feels bad for him.Â
âWell, good luck, dude,â he reassures him, though it hardly eases Junâs nerves at all. âDonât get crucified in there.âÂ
As Jun wanders down the familiar hallway to the classroom, he finds his thoughts beginning to second-guess everything. What if he ultimately fails meeting your expectation at the end of the session? What if he struggles to fully grasp the material and ends up looking like an absolute fool in front of you by the time the real dissections roll around?Â
However, those thoughts are pushed away when the door to the classroom swings open before he has the opportunity to knock, with you standing on the other side. Your face seems to light up at the sight of him, and it makes Jun briefly think about what Soonyoung said earlier about you. Like⌠was he talking about the same person?
âHey, you made it,â You greet him, stepping aside so he could walk in. âLet me just finish organising some things and we can start.âÂ
Junâs eyelashes bat together in curiosity as he watches you rummage through some papers, before deciding it's worth sitting down to wait for you. He places himself down an empty desk, fishing out his notebook and laptop and whatever he may need, though he doesnât really know. By the time youâre making your way over to him, you set your stuff right next to his.Â
âOkay.â You let out a relieved breath, peering at him. âWhere do you want to start?âÂ
Oh, he hadnât really thought that far ahead yet.
âUh,â Jun stammers, fumbling for a moment, his mind suddenly drawing blanks. He quickly opens his notebook to the page where he had jotted down some half-baked notes during class and is staring back at him like a puzzle missing half its pieces. âMaybe⌠maybe we can start with what weâre going over in class right now? And just go down from there?â
âWe can do that,â You agree without hesitation, leaning in more so that you were able to see his notes. Jun draws himself slightly back. âSo, as you know, weâre going to have to be familiar with the parts and functions of the brain since itâs also part of the dissections. What I like to do is break it down into smaller sections and tackle each one individually. It might make the whole thing less overwhelming.â
Jun just nods, appreciating the way youâre making things more approachable.Â
You grab a blank sheet of paper and draw a quick, simple outline of the brain, labeling the major parts with clear, concise notes. âLetâs go over the basicsđthe cerebrum, cerebellum, and brainstem. These are the main regions we need to understand before diving into all the nitty-gritty details. Is that okay?â
He nods again, moving back slightly closer so he can see what youâre drawing.Â
âThe cerebrum is the largest part of the brain and is responsible for higher brain functions like thinking, reasoning, and sensory processing,â You continue, pointing to the relevant part of your drawing. âItâs divided into the left and right hemispheres, and each one controls the opposite side of the body.â
Jun watches as you explain, occasionally nodding to show heâs following along. Thereâs something calming about the way you speakđgentle, but confident, filled with poise. He tries to shake off the thought, reminding himself that heâs here to study, not to admire the way your eyes light up when you speak so passionately about a topic as ridiculous and complex as the damn brain.Â
Youâre so different from what people say. Thereâs no sign of the strict, no-nonsense TA everyone talks about.Â
â...and thatâs why the frontal lobe is so important for decision-making and problem-solving. I like comparing it to, letâs say, a CEO,â You explain. âItâs where a lot of our executive functions happen. Think of it as the brainâs âbossâ making the big decisions and planning.â
Jun blinks for a moment, snapping back to attention, quickly jotting down a note to make it seem like he was paying attention. He actually was, sort of. Somehow heâs lucky enough for you to not notice him being distracted (or you do, and heâs the one who didnât notice).Â
âFrontal lobe, right,â he mutters lowly, under his breath.
âThe cerebellum is our little assistant to the CEO. Itâs responsible for our movement, coordination, and balance,â You say, pointing to a spot on the sketch at the very back of the brain and above the brainstem. âThink of it as the brainâs quality control. It just makes sure that whatever movements we do are smooth and precise, soâŚâÂ
Nope. He still canât detect those rumours that paint you as some sort of cold, calculated, and harsh TA. He spots not a single one of those in your demeanour. Briefly, he wonders whether or not those rumours bother you, if theyâve ever bothered you or made you feel misunderstood. Swiftly, though, he brushes those thoughts awayđheâs more focused on you than the material at hand.Â
Itâs hard not to look at you, in all honesty.Â
âJunhui?â Your voice pulls him back to reality.
âHuh?â he responds, a little too quickly.
You tilt your head slightly, a small, knowing smile on your lips. âI asked if youâre ready to move on to the brainstem, or do you want to go over the cerebellum again?â
âOh, um⌠no, Iâm good,â he says, feeling his face heat up slightly. He hopes you donât notice how flustered he is. âLetâs move on.â
You nod, satisfied with his answer, and continue your explanation, turning your attention to the next section of the brain.Â
âThe brainstem,â You begin, pointing to an area at the bottom of the brain with the pencil. âis like the brain's relay station. It connects the brain to the spinal cord and controls many of the bodyâs automatic functions, like breathing, heart rate, and digestion. Without it, our bodies wouldn't be able to function properlyâŚâ
Jun observes as you draw a line down the sketch, clearly marking the brainstem. Heâs listening, or at least trying to, but his mind keeps drifting back to how comfortable this whole situation feels. He expected to be a nervous wreck, fumbling through explanations and possibly embarrassing himself in front of you. But instead, he finds himself oddly at ease, more focused on how youâre able to break down the complex information into something so much more digestible.
âStill with me?â You ask suddenly, looking up from your notes to meet his gaze.
âYeah, yeah, Iâm here,â Jun answers unsurely, sitting up a little straighter in his seat. He offers a small smile, hoping it masks his earlier distraction.
A flicker of amusement flashes in your eyes, and thereâs a warmth in your expression that puts Jun further at ease. âOkay, great. We can continue then.â
The rest of the session goes by surprisingly rather quickly. You guide Jun through the material, your explanations helping Jun absorb the information more effectively than the regular in-class lectures. It makes him think about how great you would be as a professor, or anything in the medical field. Everything just seems to flow out of you seamlessly as you discuss various brain functions and their relevance to anatomy and dissections.
As Jun is finishing up the last of some notes, you ask, âWould you mind if I write you a little sticky note? To tell you what to look over when youâre reviewing on your own?âÂ
Jun looks up, a bit surprised but grateful. âThat would be good, thank you.âÂ
You stand up to retrieve a sticky note from Professorâs Lee desk, before returning back to Jun and writing down:Â
Review over neuroanatomy and its functions! â˘á´â˘Â Â
Finally, you plaster the sticky note at the corner of the page in his notebook.Â
Thereâs a comfortable silence that follows as you both gather your belongings. It feels like a small victory for Junđhe not only survived the session but actually, in a way, enjoyed it.
As you both stand up, ready to leave, you glance over at him.
âBy the way, I donât think you need all that perfume on,â You say, a hint of laughter in your voice.
Junâs eyes widen, caught off-guard. Shit. âOh, uhđyeah, thatâŚâ
You chuckle softly, shaking your head. âItâs not that itâs bad, itâs just⌠a little overwhelming. Maybe tone it down next time?â
Junâs face flushes as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. âSorry, I uh⌠was rushing and just grabbed what I could find. I didnât mean to overdo it.â
âYouâre all good,â You reassure him, still smiling as you sling your bag over your shoulder. âJust a little heads-up. So, anyway, for the next sessionâŚâ
Next session? His jaw nearly drops to the floor at your casual mention of a next session.Â
â...I think Iâll try and set up a little lesson plan we can reference off of⌠probably review over the cardiovascular systemâŚâ
âYou⌠You donât have to do all that,â Jun interjects. âIt sounds like a lot of work.âÂ
You dismiss him off with a reassuring wave. âItâs no trouble. I think itâll help to have a structured plan for us to follow. Itâll make sure we cover everything orderly.âÂ
Jun zips his mouth shut and just nods in agreement, unable to hide the small smile tugging at the corners of his lips, biting it back when he hangs his head down to the ground. When he perks back up, he finds you over at Professor Leeâs desk, sorting through some papers before organising the stack and preparing to finally leave. He opens his mouth, but the words he wanted to say stick to his tongue.
âIâll see you later?â Jun calls out to you instead, his voice bouncing off the walls of the lecture hall.Â
You glance up at him in acknowledgment. âIâll see you later, Junhui.â
He takes a visible gulp.
âJun,â he suddenly says, saying it as if he were correcting you, which in a way, he is, but it comes out a bit awkwardly. âYou can call me just Jun, if youâd like.âÂ
A wave of surprise washes over your features, before ultimately fading into a pleasant smile.
âAlright, Just Jun,â You reply, tilting your head slightly. âIâll see you later.âÂ
One could probably say youâre a party pooper. Not necessarily intentionally, but instead of filling up your college experience with going to parties and social events, you find yourself buried within pages of textbooks. Your weekends arenât filled with the chaoticness of drinking and loosening up; rather, they consist of quiet study sessions in your room and creating new lecture material.
Youâre not avoiding funđat least, thatâs what you always tell yourselfđyouâre just focused on achieving your academic goals.
Itâs a routine carved ever since you were younger, your parents constantly instilling that education is the key to success, and youâve taken that message to heart. From an early age, you learned to prioritise your studies over everything else. As you grew older, you carried that mindset with you, where youâve become known among your peers as the diligent, dependable student and TA who always has their priorities straight.
Your schedule is precise, your assignments are always turned in on time, always prepared for every quiz and exam, and your grades reflect the countless hours youâve spent studying. Itâs a reputation youâre proud of, but it also comes with a certain level of pressuređpressure to maintain those high standards, to never let yourself slip.
You sit back in the seat, satisfied after crafting a proper lesson plan and organising your materials for your next tutoring session. When you glance over at your planner to see who was coming in today, the name that you spot isđ
Knock.Â
You glance up from your planner and over to the door. âCome in!â
It takes a few moments for the door to swing in, and the tall figure that steps through is unmistakableđlight brown hair slightly fluffed out, a half-opened black backpack hanging on his shoulders, and an oversized hoodie that appeared way more comfortable than it needed to be.
âJun?â You look at the time on your phone. âYouâre here early.âÂ
âOh, yeahâŚâ Jun runs a hand through his tousled hair. âI thought showing up early could give us some extra time, maybe. Unless⌠unless youâre still busy?âÂ
You shake your head. âDonât worry, youâre fine. Just give me a few minutes and then we can start?â
âYeah. Take all the time that you need.âÂ
Once again, itâs only the two of you in the lecture hall. He ponders if youâve tutored any students before him today, hovering near you as he watches you sort through some papers and adjust your notes. The room is quiet except for the faint rustle of papers and the soft hum of the air conditioning. Jun can sense his curiosity growing within him, making him fidget with the strap of his backpack.Â
âSo, uh⌠how long have you been a TA for Professor Lee?âÂ
You pick your head up from your papers, fingers resting at the edge of the desk.Â
âSince the beginning of the year,â You reply. âI got recommended to him by some previous professors, and I guess I couldnât say no to the opportunity.â
Jun nods slowly, thoughtfully. âDo you like it? Being a TA, I mean.â
You consider his question for a moment, feeling a bit reflective as you answer, âI do, actually. Itâs hard but rewarding, you know? I get to help students understand the material better, and I learn a lot in the process too. Itâs a good balance between teaching and learning, I would say.â
Jun takes in your words attentively, peeking his eyes toward you with an almost shy smile. Thereâs a quiet admiration in the way he looks at you that you donât notice, as if heâs trying to understand how you manage to keep everything together so well. Then a moment of silence fills the space between you two, not uncomfortable, maybe a bit awkward on his end, but more contemplative.
Jun shifts this abominable weight pressing down on him from one foot to the other. Heâs not used to being in situations like thisđalone with someone who seems so put together, so sure of themselves. Itâs both inspiring and a little intimidating. The silence seems to stretch, and you can see the gears turning in his head, like heâs on the verge of saying something but canât quite find the right words.
âI guess I wonder how you manage it all so well,â he remarks timidly. âYouâre always so organised and⌠on top of things. Iâm curious how you do it.â
You purse your lips together into a thin line and simply shrug your shoulders. âIâve always had high expectations for myself growing up and I guess itâs carried into everything I do now. Itâs become second nature, really.âÂ
As Jun takes in your words, that sense of admiration seems to soften into a bit of worry. Itâs amazing that you could handle so many responsibilities at once, but the more he thinks about it, the more it seems like a lot of stress and pressure to manage. He wonders if you ever feel overwhelmed or if it ever gets too much to handle at times.Â
You probably dođyouâre human, after allđand a twinge of concern snakes up his spine as he thinks about.
âAnyway, hm⌠I was thinking about going over the cardiovascular system for this session. What do you say?â You ask him.
Jun snaps out of his thoughts, walking briskly over towards the desk to take a seat. âOh, yeah. That sounds good.âÂ
The session is just similar to last time: you begin by outlining the cardiovascular system, breaking it down into different sections just as you did with the brain, and using relatable analogies with associating each part with their functions.
â...so the heart has four chambers: the left and right atria plus the left and right ventricles,â You explain, pointing down to the drawing you made with the tip of your pencil. âThe right side deals with deoxygenated blood, while the left side handles oxygenated blood. The heartâs valves make sure that blood flows in the correct direction. Think of it like⌠traffic signals.â
âTraffic signalsâŚâ Jun mutters to himself as he writes down notes. Knowing that this is all going on within his own body wraps around his mind uncomfortably.
As you continue explaining, thereâs that light again that Jun detects in your eyes, as well as the subtle lift to your lips that makes your voice just a step higher. His gaze also follows your hands that you unknowingly maneuver when you talk, the movements graceful and expressive, like youâre bringing the material to life.
âAre you familiar with where all your pulse points are?âÂ
Jun lifts a brow, thinking for a second, before taking a finger down to his wrist. âI think so. Thereâs one here⌠on the wristâŚâ
âThe radial artery.â
âRadial artery. Yeah.â Then he drags the tip of his finger up to his inner elbow. âThereâs also one here. The brachial artery, right?â
âYou got it.âÂ
He grins bashfully at that, though itâs quick to fade when he focuses again, pointing down to his leg. âThereâs also two here. Femoral and⌠pop⌠Popliteal?â
âYouâre right,â You confirm wholeheartedly, and Junâs heart flutters in small victory.Â
Jun then brings his hand back up, using two fingers to point to a spot on his neck.Â
âAnd, uh⌠The one here on the neck. ItâsâŚâ He continues pressing down into his skin to find where he can feel his pulse, but your eyes on him is causing him to feel a bit self-conscious. âUhâŚâ
âThe carotid artery. Right here.â
Before Jun has a chance to correct himself, youâre suddenly scooting closer to him in your chair, leaning in and extending an arm out towards him. The sudden contact of your fingers on the side of his neck makes his eyes widen and his breath to hitch.Â
Your fingers rest gently on the side of his neck, just below his jawline, and for a brief moment, the world outside of the lecture hall seems to disappear. The visible swallow of his Adamâs apple isnât hard to miss as he tries to focus on anything but the sensation of your hand on his neck.
Heat washes over his face, and he swears to himself that you could most definitely feel the way his pulse is running marathons under your touch. All of a sudden his tongue goes dry, his limbs go numb, and the way youâre so close to him makes it hard for him to properly think straight, let alone form any sort of coherent response.
Your eyes meet for a singular millisecond, too quick that Jun could have possibly been imagining it.
Pulling your hand away, you clear your throat soundly. âTry it.â
It takes Jun a moment to register you were talking to him, and he tentatively replaces the spot where your fingers were at with his own.
âRight here?â he asks.
âMhm.â Your gaze roams over his concentrated face. âApply a bit of pressure. Thatâs the carotid artery doing its work.âÂ
His pulse is certainly fast. The thought has him sinking into a pit of embarrassment.Â
But he only nods, keeping his voice steady as he says, âYeah, I feel it.â
âSo whenever you want to count your heart rate, this is one of the places you can check,â You instruct. âYou can just press down on that spot and count the number of beats you feel in 15 seconds. Then, multiply that number by four, and youâll have your heart rate in beats per minute.â
Jun attempts to listen to his heart rate, but the attentive look you have on your face as you watch him makes it really hard to properly count. So he chooses to let his hand fall back down. He wouldnât be able to calculate it with you here with him anyway.Â
When the two of you meet eyes for the nth time, thereâs a fleeting, almost electric moment of mutual awareness. None of you acknowledge it, yet it awkwardly lingers in the air. Warmth spreads across Junâs chest, coupled with a nervous energy that makes his heart beat soar just a little faster.
You break the tension with an airy chuckle. âAre you ready to move on?âÂ
Jun blinks a few times, shaking off whatever awkwardness swirling around him, and nods quickly. âYeah, Iâm ready.â
By the time he gets back to his apartment later that evening and begins to unpack his things from his backpack, a small piece of pink paper flutters down to the floor like a feather, landing by his foot. Itâs a sticky note, reading:
Good sesh today â˘á´â˘ Donât forget to review!
âThereâs no way Iâm touching a brain.â
âJun, you have to! Youâll be wearing gloves anywayđâ
âI cannot cut into a brain. That is gross,â Jun rebukes defensively, face scrunching up with stubborn refusal.Â
âJun, dissections are really important for anatomy,â You clarify calmly. âItâs part of the learning process.â
âYeah, I⌠I know,â he mumbles defeatedly, almost shameful to admit. âIâm not that good with, uh⌠dead things. Like, couldnât we look at diagrams or pictures instead? Theyâre less⌠squishy.âÂ
You smile amusedly at that, finding his squeamishness a bit endearing. But you straighten your posture and plaster on a reassuring look to your face.Â
âI understand that itâs not for everyone,â You respond, a comforting tone to your voice. âBut getting hands-on experience is really valuable. Itâs one thing to see it in a book, but actually being able to identify the structures in real life makes a big difference in how you understand the material.â
Jun still looks apprehensive, but your words bring a sparkle of determination to his eyes. The idea of cutting into something that used to be alive still makes his stomach turn and the hairs on the back of his neck stick up, but he knows that youâre right. When are you not right?
âIt just feels illegal,â Jun admits uneasily, a shudder running through him at the thought. âI donât know if I can handle it.â
âThatâs what Iâm here for, remember?â You lightly nudge him in the arm with your elbow, attempting to lighten the mood. âWeâre partners, after all.â
âYeah, butâŚâ Thereâs some hesitation, his gaze dropping down to his shoes. He lowers his voice as he speaks, âI want to show you that Iâm capable of doing somethingâŚâ
âThen weâll start off slow, make you become familiar with everything,â You reason gently. âI know youâre not the only one who feels queasy by it, but youâll have to face it. Facing your fears can help in conquering them, you know.âÂ
The corners of Junâs lips tug up at that, mainly from the fact that youâre able to reassure him this effortlessly. He canât tell if itâs exactly your words that eases up his nerves or if itâs simply your presence here with him right now thawing away the ice of his fears. Whatever it is, all he can really say is he likes knowing that you genuinely care.
And he likes knowing that youâre right next to him too.
âIf I freak out,â he starts. âYouâll promise to help me out?â
Your lips draw into a thin line, a certain playfulness softening the features of your face.Â
âNo promises, butđâ
âHey!â
âStudy what we discussed today and then Iâll consider it.â Thereâs still a twinge of tease to your words, but the edges are roughened with a touch of sincerity.Â
Jun just grins. How could anyone ever make up ridiculous rumours about you?
âGood game, man. Same time again next Saturday?â
Jun huffs out a winded breath, dabbing at the sweat that clings to his forehead with the edge of his shirt before taking a long chug out of the water bottle that Wonwoo tosses over to him.Â
âYeah. Iâll see you then,â he replies exhaustedly, taking another tip of water, feeling his muscles aching from the game.Â
As his friends leave the basketball court, he starts to retrieve his own belongings, slinging his backpack and hoodie over his shoulder and starting his walk towards the bus stop so he could go back home. The sun has completely set at this point, the night sky now blanketing the city in a cool, comfortable darkness. The breeze that floats through the air relieves some of the tension in his body, cooling his skin after the intense game. Jun walks slowly, taking his time on the way to the bus stop, simply savouring the peacefulness of the evening.
He considers getting food for himselfđthereâs a small convenience store that he spots at the corner of his eye, and his stomach rumbles at the thought.Â
He changes direction and heads toward the store, the faint jingling of the door chime greeting him as he steps inside. The store is a cozy, cluttered space with a mix of snacks, drinks, and other essentials. He decides on grabbing a cold drink and some instant ramen that he can heat up when he gets home. And after purchasing, he heads back outside and continues his way to the bus stop.
Tapping his bus card on the scanner, Jun makes his way toward the back of the bus and settles into a seat closest to the window, the seat right next to him vacant. The bus was mostly empty, but everyone else was spread out in their own seats either dozing off, listening to music, or staring out the window. Itâs quite nice, he must say.
The sounds of him crumpling his bag fills the still air of the bus as he waits for the bus to move, but the hissing of the doors opening perks his attention up.Â
Out of all things, he certainly never expected to see the sight of you breathlessly climbing onto the bus, muttering apologies towards the bus driver as you scramble for your bus card in your wallet. Your backpack is about to slip off your shoulder, cheeks flushed from assuming all the running you did to get here, and a mask of tiredness that you wear on your face that isnât hard to notice. Were you at campus? Itâs almost ten at night.Â
And out of all things, he didnât expect for you to come over to him among the many empty seats in the bus.Â
âHey,â You greet him breathlessly, glancing down at the empty seat next to him. âAre you fine with me sitting here?âÂ
Jun blinks, before speedily adjusting himself, forcing his body more into the seat so you would have all the room that you wanted. He gives you a nod.Â
Smiling faintly, you sit down right next to him, shoulder brushing against his. You settle your backpack on your lap and lean back a bit, finally allowing yourself to relax. The bus lurches, beginning to move forward. Jun lets his eyes wash over you.
âDid⌠you just come from campus?â he asks.Â
You laugh awkwardly at that. âYeah, I⌠I was studying.â
âYou study this late at night on campus?â
âI do.â Itâs a bit funny admitting that, you donât know why. âSorta lost track of time, I guess.âÂ
Jun keeps a fixed look on you, as if there was some anomaly within your words, but he knows youâre telling the truth. He just canât believe that anyone would stay on campus so late, plus you look way too tired, like you could pass out any second. Some worry flows down his body.Â
âThat sounds⌠exhausting,â he says, concern edging his voice. âAre you sure youâre okay?âÂ
You glance at him, eyes softening slightly. Thereâs something about him asking that tugs at your heart. âIâm fine. Itâs not unusual for me to be up late studying. Iâm used to it.â
Jun feels his fingers twitch around the bag in his grasp. âI see.â
You let your head fall slightly. âThank you though.â
He faces you curiously. âFor what?â
âJustâŚâ For being here? For asking if Iâm okay? âI donât know. Thank you.â
He doesnât know why youâre thanking him; if anything he should be the one thanking you.
âOh.â A small smile appears on his lips. âYouâre welcome.â
He feels weird. Not in a bad senseđfar from that, actually. Itâs basically his first time ever interacting with you that isnât on school grounds, and in a way right now, he isnât the student and youâre not the TA. Heâs simply Jun, and you are⌠well, you. Youâre just two people sharing a late bus ride, and Jun is oddly grateful for the chance to see this side of youđtired, a little vulnerable, but still yourself nonetheless.
The bus rumbles lightly. Silence swirling the air around the two of you. Jun glances at your profile, noticing how your eyes flutter shut for a brief second before snapping open again. His fingers twitch again, wanting to do something moređmaybe offer you his jacket, or ask if you need anythingđbut he holds himself back.
The thought of pushing himself to exhaustion like that feels foreign. But he knows you well enoughđor at least, heâs seen you enoughđto know youâre driven, always working hard, sometimes too hard. He doesnât know how to tell you that itâs okay to slow down.
âY/N?â he calls out quietly.
You face him with a cute, sleepy look. âHm?â
âYouâre falling asleep.â
You giggle lazily at that, the sound unguarded and relaxed. âSorry.âÂ
âItâs okay,â he says softly. âYou can close your eyes. Whenâs your stop?â
Gazing at the window for a few moments, you take note of the familiar surroundings that the bus passes by. âIt should be the next one.âÂ
Before you can settle back into the seat, Jun quickly adds, suddenly feeling brave, âYou can⌠lean on my shoulder if you want.â
You hesitate for a moment, then give him a drowsy, grateful smile. âI think Iâd like that.â
With a sigh, you allow your head to rest against his shoulder, and Jun could only imagine how uncomfortable his own shoulder might be compared to a pillow, but he doesnât mind, and neither do you as wellđat least he thinks you donât.
Your eyes are closed when Jun leans down to sneak a glance at your face, your features softened with exhaustion. Thereâs the faintest sight of a smile to your lips, and it makes his own curve up slightly too. His heart stirs in his chest, all while attempting to fully compose himself so you wouldnât be disturbed.Â
As his eyes drift back outside, he leans his own head on the window, watching the cityscape pass by. Thereâs fatigue crawling up his body too, but he forces himself to stay awake so that he knows when your stop is approaching. He casts glimpses down to you to make sure youâre still comfortable, but every time he looks at you, his heart seems to do a little jump, a little flutter in his chest.Â
Jun knows he shouldnât hope for anything more than this moment, knows he shouldnât let himself fall into dreams of what-ifs, but he canât help it. Admitting to himself that he likes you is bizarre, almost too bold for him to fully accept. Yet here you are, leaning against him, breathing softly in your dazed state as if itâs the most natural thing in the world.Â
And maybe, just maybe, he thinks, it could be.
You could tell there was something off about Jun today, and it seems to bother you a little more than you expect.Â
He just didnât seem to be⌠paying attention. You would explain something to him, and heâd reply with a small hum of acknowledgment before drifting off into a bit of a daydreaming state. Perhaps his mind was clouded and it wasnât your place to ask, or maybe he was just tired. Regardless, you knew that it wouldnât get either of you progress through this tutoring session, especially when youâre trying to instruct him about what to expect for the dissections.
âJun?â You snap your finger in front of his face, and he immediately perks up. âYou got all that down?â
âHuh? Oh, yeah. Sorry, the probeâŚâ He trails off, looking a bit lost. âUh, can you repeat it?â
âThe probe is used to explore and identify different anatomical structures,â You explain slowly. âBut remember to be careful with it. Tissues are very delicate, so one wrong move could cause damage.âÂ
You watch quietly as he writes down the notes, his head resting on his as if heâs struggling to keep his eyes open.
âI saw you fall asleep today in class.â
Jun looks back up at you, eyes widening as if what he had done was some sort of crime. He suddenly appears more awake than ever.
âCrap, I⌠Iâm sorry,â he mutters in apology, face flushing with embarrassment. âI knew you were lecturing since Professor Lee wasnât here today, but I just⌠I donât know. I couldnât keep my eyes open that well. Iâm really sorry.â
He could only assume the worstđthat youâre mad at him for falling asleep, when in reality he had stayed up late the night before to review over the material the two of you have covered so far during your sessions. But when your face softens into a look of understanding, he seems to relax. Just slightly.Â
âJun, itâs fine, really. I just wanted to make sure youâre okay,â You reassure him gently. âTrust me, youâre not in trouble and Iâm not mad.â
He swallows down the lump in your throat. âAre you sure?â
âPositive.â
âLike really sure?â
âOne thousand percent.â
âIâm not convinced.â A sly grin spreads across Junâs face. What a dork.
âUnfunny,â You huff, before taking a seat right next to him and flipping through the pages in your lesson plan.Â
Once again, Jun props an elbow on the table and leans his head on his hand, a playful smirk lingering on his face as he watches you. You feel his eyes on you.Â
âIt sort of gave me a little glimpse into your life, you know.âÂ
You glance up, intrigued. âYeah? And what did you take from that?â
âThat⌠I really cannot and will never be on your level of studying,â Jun admits sheepishly. He seems to crawl into himself a bit more as he continues hesitantly, âand, uh, made me admire you a little bit more too.â
You freeze at that, pausing mid-flipping through a page in your planner as his words float through the air. Admire⌠you? It wasnât something you ever anticipated hearing from himđever anticipated to see him this forwardđespecially not today when he seemed so out of it.
You clear your throat softly, trying to act nonchalant. âYou admire me?â
Jun chuckles softly, the sound a little awkward as he tries to ease the tension. âWell, who wouldnât?â
Heâs probably digging himself into a bit of a hole right now, perhaps overstepping a small boundary of what was supposed to be just a casual tutoring session. But really, despite these sessions honestly really helping with understanding the material, heâs mainly here because⌠well⌠he gets to spend time with you.Â
âSorry, I-I mean⌠I made this weird, didnât I?â Jun swiftly corrects himself, face flushing deeper with each word that leaves him. âI guess I just want to thank you for pushing me to do better. Iâve always⌠kind of admired that about you for a while now.â
Even you momentarily forget what you wanted to discuss with him for the session, a surge of warmth shooting through your body. The only sounds you could hear right now are the branches outside hitting the window from the wind and the ticking of the clock on the wall. The room was quiet, filled with an awkward, yet comfortable tension that neither of you seemed to know how to break.
âIâm glad to hear that,â You tell him. âIt means a lot that you feel that way.âÂ
Relief and apprehension hugs around Jun, as if unsure whether he should say anything more or go back to tutoring. But he thinks heâs already said enoughđat this point his tired brain nearly made him confess his feelings, and that would be utterly stupid of him.Â
âBut you should really learn how to rest,â he suddenly says firmly.
You laugh that off way too easily. âYou know that I canâtđâ
âI know, but⌠come on, just rest for a little bit,â Jun insists. âAt least for a few minutes.â
âYouâre seriously telling me to rest while Iâm here to tutor you?â You lift a brow, almost teasingly.
The way he only nods and gazes at you with pleading eyes almost resembling a cat stretching out for attention makes it almost impossible to resist. And you would hate to admit that yeah, maybe you do push yourself way too much, that all the strenuous effort you put into studying is now starting to take a noticeable toll on you. At the moment, rest does sound really nice.
âMy friends and I are planning a hangout this weekend at my place, if youâd like to join us. You⌠You donât have to if you donât want to, or if youâre not into that kind of stuff,â Jun informs you sheepishly. âItâs not a lot of us too, but if you ever want to just⌠unwind, you know, you could stop by. We arenât doing anything too wild, just a chill get-together. Theyâre all cool, I swear.â
You consider his offer. Again, you were never much of a party person nor ever gave a crap about that sort of stuff, but the thought of taking a break from your routine is a bit... enticing, to say the least.
âIâll think about it. Thank you,â You say with a grateful smile, finally giving in. âGive me a few minutes to tidy up?â
Jun watches for a few moments as you quickly organise through your notes and gather up the loose papers that have accumulated on the table, standing up and heading to the front of the lecture hall to put away the rest of the materials that you wonât need for the session.Â
As he waits for you to finish, Jun sets aside his own stuff, folds his arms and places them on the table, slowly guiding his head to rest on top. He closes his eyes, taking advantage of the opportunity to rest as much as his body craves.
By the time you get back, you catch a glimpse of Junâs relaxed form in his seat, and your heart does a little flip in your chest. The corners of your lips tug up unknowingly into a soft smile as you settle into the seat cautiously next to him, feeling a wave of exhaustion hitting you all at once.
Itâs rare that you let yourself go these days, but with Jun here, it seems easier to let your guard down, even for just a few minutes.Â
Without much thought you let your head rest gently on your own arms, finding yourself staring at the front lecture hall, before ultimately, moving your head so that you were facing Jun. Youâve never seen him this close before, drawn into his features for a moment or twođover his closed eyes and the small moles that pepper his cheek and one particular spot above his lips, which were curled up slightly. Contentment warms you like a blanket as you let your eyes drift to a close.
Unbeknownst to you, Jun slowly peeks his eyes open, being met with the sight of you resting so peacefully and comfortably beside him. A sense of calm takes over the vast lecture hall as he simply watches you, even feeling brave enough to lightly brush a strand of hair away from your face with his finger, before quickly pulling back when he catches your nose scrunching a little in your sleep. His heart swells even more.
He decides on settling back into his own arms, taking one last glance at you before drifting back into light sleep.Â
âYouâre way too smiley to be going to a tutoring session,â Chan points out as he catches Jun about to leave. âIsnât it like your third time alone this week? Last week you went twiceâŚâ
Jun snorts annoyedly at that. âYeah, and?â
âWeâre just saying youâre way too happy to be going to tutoring, man,â Soonyoung continues on, an edge of suspicion to his words. âDid you find out the meaning of life? Figure out why our bodies cause us to shit and piss or why the earth goes around the sun?â
âIâd be happy to answer that question if youâre curious,â Jun states wryly.Â
Soonyoung scrunches his face and shakes his head. âPlease donât.âÂ
His roommate only observes as Jun stuffs his feet into his Converse, which looked to be at the end of its life. Minghao comes out moments later, toothbrush in his mouth with bits of foam to the corners of his lips. Along with Soonyoung and Chan, the three of them watch as Jun finishes lacing up his shoes, his good mood unwavering.
âI think I have an answer to that question,â Minghao says, voice somewhat muffled.
Soonyoung faces the younger boy. âThe piss or the earth one?â
âHe has a crush,â Minghao states flatly, a subtle smirk creeping onto his face despite the toothbrush still dangling from his lips.
âA crush?â Soonyoungâs eyes widen as he exchanges a glance with Chan, the two of them looking like they were about to combust any second. âA crush on that scary TA?â
âTheyâre not scary!â Jun protests, face reddening hearing his own loud voice, secretly hoping to make some sort of quick escape before his friends could pry any further into his dry love life, but he knows he wonât be able to get them off his ass. âSo what if I have a crush on them?â
Soonyoungâs jaw drops to the floor at that, before bursting into laughter. ââSo whatâ? Youâre totally into them!â He starts bouncing on his toes, a grin stretching across his face. âYouâre in loooove with the scary TA! This is gold.â
Jun could seriously strangle all of his roommates right now. He runs a hand through his hair and glances at the door, regretting opening his mouth. Was he seriously that obvious? âYou guys are blowing this way out of proportion.âÂ
âBro, youâre blushing so hard right now,â Chan chimes in with a mischievous glint in his eyes. âDonât even try to deny it.â
Minghao chuckles, finally pulling the toothbrush out of his mouth. âItâs obvious. You donât study like that for just anyone.â
Junâs face turns an even deeper shade of red. âIđokay, fine! Maybe I like them a little bit, but itâs not a big deal! Iâm just trying to do well in class. Now, can I leave?âÂ
It takes one last torturous minute of teasing before Jun shoots his roommates with annoyed looks and heads out of the apartment.
Normally at nine oâclock, you would most likely be in the campus library studying until your eyes go dry, or in your own place with textbooks sprawled over your bed. But this time, you find yourself right in front of the address Jun sent youđhis address, specifically.
Youâd spent the past few days thinking about his invitation, and despite some initial hesitation, you may be looking forward to this little break from your routine. Because according to Jun from a text he sent you the night before along with the address: itâs what you deserve.
Your heart still does a little jump when you think about it still.
[09:08 | y/n] Hey Jun! Iâm here by the way
Your phone vibrates right away.
[09:09 | just jun] WHAT omg
[09:09 | just jun] sorry iâm coming out right now!!!
Thereâs a figure that emerges from a door, waving to you from above. You give out a small wave as you start to make yourself comfortable on the front steps of the building. Jun hurries down the stairs, looking both relieved and a bit flustered as he reaches you.
âHey, IâŚâ His eyes roam over you from head-to-toe. âI didnât think youâd actually show up.âÂ
You offer a tentative smile. âWell, I figured, you know? Thought it would be nice to stop by for a little bit. Plus you live closer than I thought.â
Junâs face brightens, the relief in his own grin oozing its way into your heart, and he gestures for you to follow him back to his place.
Just as he promised, the gathering was quite small. Jun introduces you to his roommatesđMinghao, Soonyoung, and Chan are their names (Soonyoung and Chan look oddly more excited to see you, for some reason)đand two others in his year. You recognise Wonwoo, who is a TA from the English department, and the other is Jihoon, whose name had been tossed around quite frequently during your time in university.
Overall, the vibes have been quite laid-back, and the apartment has been warm and inviting so far.
âDo you want something to drink?â Jun asks as he leads you towards the kitchen, where some food and snacks were sprawled across the counter. âThereâs water, soda, and um⌠some alcohol too.â
Your eyes roam over the assortment on the counter, gaze lingering on the bottles of alcohol. For some reason the idea of relaxing and letting loose feels particularly appealing tonight, and you can hardly remember the last time you had a proper drink of⌠anything.Â
âIâll take some alcohol,â You answer, suddenly feeling a bit adventurous; it even surprises Jun.Â
Jun pulls one of the bottles and pours you a generous amount before handing it to you, the tips of his fingers brushing against yours as you find yourself settling down in a seat near Wonwoo and Jihoon.Â
Soonyoung and Chan come into view a few minutes later, and theyâre still looking at you as if youâve come in with a second head.
âYouâre not scary,â Chan claims randomly, scanning you up and down with his eyes closely.
You lift a brow and look behind you, thinking he was talking to someone, before turning back to him.Â
âMe?â You point to yourself. âScary?âÂ
Soonyoung takes a sip of his own drink before saying, âYeah, dude, I mean⌠There used to be a lot of rumours spread about you being like, mean and stuff, you know? Iâm talking about people saying you were super strict, always serious, and that if anyone messed up in class, youâd roast them alive.â
You almost want to laugh at that. Sure, youâve heard plenty of those rumours before and never really let it get to you, or had the time to straight up dismiss them, but you didnât think people were still clinging onto those thoughts nowadays.Â
âDid you expect me to show up with devil horns and a pitchfork?" You joke, finally allowing yourself to laugh, shaking your cup in amusement. âWow, I didnât realise I was so terrifying. Maybe I should start living up to it now.â
Soonyoung lets out a hearty laugh, almost choking on his drink. âPlease, no! Weâre all just barely surviving as it is.â
âNah, youâre good as you are. If anything Iâm glad to see that the stuff people have said arenât true,â Chan adds in.
An exaggerated gasp leaves Soonyoung. âOh my, God, wait! Does this mean weâre friends now?â His excitement is so over-the-top that you canât help but laugh too.Â
âI donât know. Maybe,â You tease with a faint smirk, shrugging. âIf you behave.â
âIâll take that as a yes,â Soonyoung declares, grinning ear to ear as Chan gives him an enthusiastic high five. His face is already turning the slightest bit of red from the alcohol. âJun, youâre in good hands!â
In the kitchen, you catch Jun gazing over his shoulder and towards his friends. And when his eyes land on you, he shoots you a brief smile before quickly taking his eyes away, but the tips of his ears being red doesnât go unnoticed when he turns away.
As the night continues, you find yourself letting loose, more than youâve ever done recently. You find yourself easily getting along with the lively atmosphere of Jun and all of his friends. You donât really know how many drinks youâve taken at this point in time, how many refills youâve been offered, but the buzz you feel is pleasant and warm, your inhibitions slowly but surely melting away. Laughter tumbles out of you as if it was the most natural thing in the world, almost to the point you feel your chest physically ache.
Occasionally, from the side, Jun quietly watches you. He can feel his own mood lifting with every smile that finds its way on your face. Itâs almost as if heâs looking at a completely different personđsomeone entirely the opposite from the studious TA heâs been used to this entire time.
But the second he sees you stumble slightly when you come out from a bathroom break, a pang of worry hits him.
âYou okay?â he asks you when you nearly run into him, making him circle his arms around you out of habit in case you might fall. However, youâre somehow so close to him that he can feel the warmth of you through his clothes. Your cheeks are flushed, and youâre grinning lazily up at him, the effects of the alcohol clearly taking their toll.
âOh, doing lovely, umâŚâ You assure him, voice wobbly as you clear your throat. âThe alcohol was awesome. I havenât⌠I havenât drank like this in such a long time. It feels sooooo nice.âÂ
You nearly stumble into him again as you attempt to move past him, and heâs quick as the Flash to grab you by the shoulders, his hands squeezing tightly around your forearm.Â
âI think you should sit down, Y/N.âÂ
âBu-But I donât want to!âÂ
A playful pout spreads across your face as he carefully leads you back to the quiet kitchen, away from whatever version of charades the others have put on in the middle of the living room.
âYouâve drank too much,â Jun points out worriedly. âDo you want me to take you home? I can walkđâ
âWhat are you? My⌠my boss or something? Iâm supposed to be the one in control here! Iâm⌠Iâm the one making the decisions, not you!â You protest, a weak, half-hearted attempt at establishing your authority as you knead the fabric of his shirt into your fists.Â
Did you have to be so cute when youâre drunk? Though Jun is fast to shake those thoughts away and focus more on making sure youâre okay, having to bite the bottom of his lip to conceal an incoming, endearing grin at your silly antics.Â
âCome on, let me get you some water and then Iâll take you home, okay?â Jun offers, and you give him a tight-lipped smile.Â
âBut I am home,â You slur lowly, circling a finger in front of his face, close enough you may jab him in the eye. âIâm home here⌠with youâŚâ
Jun seriously doesnât know how he would be able to dismiss those words that left your mouth, even in your inebriated state. It doesnât help that youâre also looking up at him with half-lidded eyes and a dreamy smile, like the world is spinning and yet heâs the only one keeping you steady.Â
âLetâs go. Iâm taking you home,â Jun says as he snatches up a bottle of water and slowly coaxes you towards the door, not before announcing to his friends as well, who all seem too drunk to even care anyway.
The second the cool air meets your skin and the cold water flows down your throat, you seem a little more lucid, but not entirely. You still clung an arm around Junâs own arm, which was hanging loosely and awkwardly to the side, your steps a bit uneven as you walk down the street together.
Jun holds his breath every time your body knocks into his side, afraid you might lose balance, but you somehow manage to stay uprightđbarely. The warmth of your arm wrapped around his doesnât go unnoticed.
âHey, Y/Nđâ
âShhhhh,â You suddenly hiss, making Jun shut his mouth. âYouâre too loud.â
Jun hangs his head down in slight guilt. âSorry.â
âHmm, isokay,â You mutter, tightening a grip on his and nearly causing Jun himself to stumble. âYou know, youâre always so⌠nice. Itâs kinda weird.âÂ
Jun tilts his head, somewhat confused by your drunken logic. He glances at you, catching the way your cheeks are shaded with a rosy hue and the warmness to your hazy eyes.Â
âWeird?â he repeats curiously.
âYeahâŚâ You draw out the word clumsily, shifting your eyes towards him, gaze lingering on him a little longer than usual. âItâs like youâre not real sometimes.â
âYouâre holding onto me.â Jun shakes his arm, and you still carry a tight grip on his arm, fingers digging lightly into the material of his sleeve. âI think Iâm very real.â
âI know,â You mumble, scrunching your nose endearingly, as if you still don't believe him. âBut you barely know me.âÂ
Thereâs a few moments of contemplation that passes by between the two of you. Your steps have somehow managed to sync with each other, the streetlights above casting down a soft glow on the pavement below, and the quiet night feels oddly⌠intimate.Â
âMaybe.â Jun shrugs, voice low and soft. âBut I like what I know so far.âÂ
Now itâs your turn to grow silent, a wave of realisation cutting through your inebriated thoughts. Your grip goes from loose to tight on Junâs arm, your chest and heart feeling heavier than it did moments ago, and it certainly was not because of the alcohol.
Your mind is practically aching with all these thoughts, aching with the urge to do something about it, and the way Junâs side profile is illuminated under the streetlight doesnât help the situation at all.
âItâs funny, because I⌠I would see you come into class. AndâŚâ You let out a giggle. âI donât know. My first thought was always that you were cute. Hmm, maybe dreamy too? Yeah, dreamy⌠Thatâs a silly word.âÂ
Before Jun can say anything to that, the words seem to tumble out of you.Â
â...Iâd see you fall asleep in the back of the class, or come late to lecture, and Iâd think you were cute seeing you so panicked⌠And when you asked me to tutor you, I was so happy. Itâs justđI-I donât know.â A brief pause, before you continue, âIs this what liking someone is?âÂ
Jun doesnât notice how much his steps have faltered, his voice and own words getting caught somewhere between his throat and his heart. Thereâs a mix of panic, disbelief, and excitement flowing through him, almost too much he canât quite process going from emotion to the other. However, how the hell does he respond when the person heâs been developing feelings for says something like that so openly?
âShit, Iâve⌠Iâve made this weird, havenât I?â You give yourself a light facepalm, before carding a hand through your hair. A yawn starts to leave you. âIâm just all over the place right now, Iâm sorryâŚâ
Jun wants to say something, needs to say something, but he stumbles over his words. âI⌠Y/N, Iđâ
Before he can finish his sentence, you trip slightly, and he instinctively pulls you closer, catching you with both hands. A wholehearted round of laughter tumbles out of you, resting your head on his shoulder for a brief moment, and for a split second, everything feels still. His heart races faster than ever.
He lets you take the lead on the way back to your apartment complex, feeling as if he had been walking on eggshells the entire time. The buzz of the alcohol running its laps through you has seemed to soften, and if anything, youâre more than ready to sink into your bed for the night. Although thereâs comfortable quietness in the air now, Jun canât stop replaying all the words youâve said to him tonight alone.
Before he can fully process everything, you come to an abrupt stop just outside your building, turning to look at him.
You stare at him for a moment, eyes roaming over his face as if youâre trying to commit everything to memory. Then, without thinking, you step up to him and press a kiss to his cheek. Itâs quick, fleeting, the gesture so unexpected it sends a rush of heat flooding up his neck and straight to the tips of his ears. Heâs practically on fire, at this point.Â
When you pull back, thereâs a bashful smile playing at your lips. âGoodnight, Jun.â
You donât think you can ever look at Jun in the eyes without wanting to sink into the ground, because each time he comes into view, it reminds you of the absolute idiot you put on show for him last weekend. Itâs harder to pay attention when your hands seem to touch every given opportunity. You just have to make it through one last tutoring session before the big dissections later that week.
âSo, um, weâll use the forceps to clamp and separate through the tissues,â Jun explains, pointing towards the dissection guide displayed on the table, still feeling a tad bit queasy at the thought of it, even if the dissection pan was empty. âThen the scalpel will be used to cut on the incision lines we marked.â
âThatâs right. You got it,â You say with a small smile, briefly casting a glance towards him, watching the way he adjusts the goggles on his face.Â
The two of you decided on running through the dissection for practice, focusing instead on the procedural steps and techniques. Itâs been smooth-sailing so farđJun looks more confident and comfortable as he walks through each stepđand youâre positive that the actual lab will go well.
On the other hand, you both canât deny the awkwardness thickening through the room, drifting within the crevices of even the most subtle interactions.Â
âAlright, so once weâve done that, weâll⌠uh, weâllâŚâ Junâs voice trails off as he fumbles slightly with the scalpel, trying to decide between placing it on the tray or handing it to you, his gloved fingers brushing against yours again as you grab it from him.
âSorry,â You both blurt out at the same time, voices mixing into one.
As you both share an embarrassed laugh, a few moments of silence follows. It seems to dissipate the tension in the air. Some of it, at least.
Jun clears his throat. âY/N, Iđâ
âItâs fine,â You assure calmly. âLetâs just keep going.âÂ
âI⌠Okay.â His shoulders slump in a pit of defeat as he fixes his attention back down towards the task at hand. âCan you, uh⌠pass me the probe?â
You nod and hand it over to him, trying to attentively listen as he explains the function of the tool and how it would be used for the lab, adding any feedback along the way. Youâre surprised at how easily you fall back into a comfortable rhythm, as if the moments from earlier had ceased to exist, as if that night and your stupidity didnât happen, but only you both know about the unacknowledged elephant in the room.
The rest of the practice goes by without any more mishaps. The next thing you know, youâre pulling off your gloves and taking off your safety goggles as Jun sets the dissection tray away. By the time he returns, heâs surprised to see you already grabbing your belongings like youâre ready to leave.
Jun swallows down the nervous lump lodged in his throat. âY/N, wait.â
You pause in the middle of stuffing some notebooks inside your backpack, already feeling the apprehension snaking up your spine as you face him.
âCan⌠Can we talk?â Jun asks hesitantly.
A sigh leaves you. âLook, that was really dumb of me, I get it. I shouldnât have⌠kissed you on the cheek like that and said all those weird things. It was impulsive and I was drunk. Iâm sorry, I shouldâve known my limits, or maybe just have not come at allđâ
âI was really happy that you came,â Jun interrupts, a voice almost too loud in the quiet, empty lab room. He rubs his gloved hands together nervously. âAnd, um, the kiss... I liked it. It was, well⌠kind of nice.â
You really canât tell if his words are making you feel any better or worse, if the hesitation on his side makes you want to sink more into the ground or feel a bit of hope. Regardless, itâs hard to ignore the warmth growing in your face as your fingers tighten around the strap of your backpack.Â
âI guess what Iâm trying to say is that I like you too, and I wanted to finally tell you that before you left my place. But then things got a little messy and it was a bit overwhelming, so I wanted to take you home because you looked like you were about tođâ
âJun, justâŚâ You chime in ruefully, clearly not wanting to relive your stupidity. âGo back a little. You like me too?â
Jun takes in a deep, slow breath.
âYes,â he says firmly. âHoly shit. I canât believe I said that.âÂ
The laughs that leave you two sound more freeing in a way, more effortless, like the thick, heavy fog that settled around the room has been lifted, and for the first time in days, everything is more clearer.Â
The carefree grin that Jun catches to your features nearly forces him to step up towards you, but he holds back. Instead, he thinks the sight of you looking so naturally happy is something he could cherish for a very, very long time.
âSo, uhâŚâ he starts, shooting a sheepish glance down at his shoes before meeting your gaze once more. âWeâre okay?â
You only nod.
âWeâre okay,â You confirm softly. âMaybe more than that.âÂ
As you finish getting ready to leave, you turn back to Jun, who nearly drops the dissection pan in his hands.Â
âI have a meeting to go to right now,â You tell him. âBut afterwards, I could⌠text you?âÂ
His face brightens expectantly, attempting to keep the excitement coursing through him at bay. âYeah, yeah, of course. Um⌠have a good meeting.âÂ
Heâs cute. And silly. And weird. But you wouldnât have it any other way.Â
Before you finally leave the lab room, you take a leap of faith and turn back around, heading straight towards Jun. Heâs in the middle of taking off his goggles when you find yourself standing back in front of him, and a mischievous grin etches across your face. Jun takes a few steps back, his ass nearly stumbling into the table behind him.
âOne more thing.â You reach up and to gently tug the goggles off his face, and the contact of your fingers to his hair has Jun bracing himself for doomsday. Your breath fans against his skin for a moment, and when you pull away, youâre holding up the goggles towards him. âYou were wearing these upside down the entire time.â
Jun chokes on air, and you let out a giggle.
Shit.
Jun cannot focus right now.
The goggles feel uncomfortable on his face, the gloves make his skin feel clammy, the uncomfortable, pungent smell of formaldehyde fills the lab room and his nostrils. Not to mention that thereâs a goddamn sheep brain sitting on the metal pan in front of him.Â
Perhaps he can call it quits nowđtake the zero for the lab and run for the hills, drop out of university, become a nomad in the countryside and never have to touch any sort of assignment again. In his mind right before the dissection starts, it really doesnât seem like a bad idea. Not a bad idea at allâŚ
âJun?â
He snaps his eyes back at you. Youâre wearing your own pair of gloves and goggles, positioning the dissection tools on the table, eyebrows raised in worry.Â
âAre you good? Weâre about to start,â You tell him. âYou look a little pale.â
He blinks a few times, trying to compose and mentally ready himself, acting like he hasnât just spent the last few minutes imagining an escape plan abandoning all forms of education. âYeah, I⌠Iâm good.â
âYou good to start?â You ask, and the concern he senses in your voice makes his heart soften. âOr do you want me to take over first?âÂ
Thereâs that offer again, the one he knows he should probably accept for the sake of his sanity, but thereâs also a part of him that doesnât want to back out now. Not when heâs finally managed to clear the air between the two of you, when things are more comfortable than theyâve been in weeks.Â
Jun exhales, shaking the tenseness out of his body. This is it. Glancing around the room, he notices that other students have already started their dissections with ease. He looks down at the sheep brain again, feeling that queasiness rising, but just your presence right next to him seems to settle down his nerves way more than it should.
He steels himself, trying to cling to that feeling instead of the growing discomfort in his stomach. He can do this. Itâs just a brain. A sheep brain, he reminds himself, as if that makes it any better.
Letting out one last breath for good measure, he reaches for the scalpel.Â
âIâm good,â he says, more to himself than to you. âLetâs do this.âÂ
His hand quivers as he leans in towards the sheep brain, its colour slightly pinkish and grey. His nose crinkles the closer he gets to it, and the second he lightly grazes the scalpel along the surface of the brain, he canât help but wince. At his side, he feels your shoulder make contact with his, and helps ground him a little more.Â
Narrowing his eyes, he focuses on making a precise incision straight down the middle of the brainđthe medial longitudinal fissure, he recallsđhis hand trembling slightly as he draws the scalpel down. The smell of formaldehyde grows stronger as he slices through the tissue, and the somewhat gelatinous texture that the brain has is incredibly off-putting.Â
When he finally finishes, you help part the brain in half, and Junâs eyes widen in awe at how visible the structures are.Â
âYou did pretty well.â You send an encouraging smile Junâs way, taking the probe in your hand and motioning towards the exposed structures. âSee? Look at that. You can see all the parts clearly.â
Jun takes a leap of faith and points to a particular part. âThatâs⌠the thalamus there, right? And the hypothalamus is right below it.âÂ
You nod proudly. âYou got it. And this section right here?â
âThe⌠pons? And then, uh⌠Oh! The medulla oblongata. Then the spinal cord starts beneath it.â
âYep. Here?â
âThe cerebellum!âÂ
Your own heart seems to swell with every step up his confidence goes, whatever discomfort he was initially feeling begins to be melted away under the warmth of your praise. You bring your eyes up from the brain, letting it roam over his side profile, taking in the way the goggles make his hair stick out in odd angles, the curve of his jaw as he tilts his head slightly, brows furrowed in concentration.
As Jun pinpoints another structure on the brain, he faces toward you for confirmation, only to be met with your eyes already on him. He opens his mouth to say something, before slowly shutting it, and for a split second, he forgets about the question he was about to ask, the lab, everything else.
âDid I get it right?â Jun questions, feeling the confidence flowing through him falter under your thoughtful expression. âThis is the sulcus? And the gyrusâŚâ
You lower your attention back down to the sheep brain, realising he was pointing to a spot with the probe.Â
âHm, justâŚâ You start, leaning in a bit closer to examine where heâs pointing to. With a sly smirk, you reach over to grasp his wrist lightly, slowly guiding his hand more accurately with the probe. Your warmth slips teasingly under his skin. âThe sulcus is the little groove right here, and the gyrus is the ridge surrounding it. See it?â
Jun swears youâre doing this on purpose, and whatever it is, itâs working.
âGot it,â he mumbles, hoping you wonât be able to see the flush to his cheeks under the goggles. His eyes flicker between the brain and your face, noting the playful glint in your pupils that certainly isnât from the fluorescent lighting of the lab room. âI see it now. Thanks.â
You let go of his wrist, still wearing that mischievous look at your lips, though it fades into something more genuine now. âYouâre doing good, you know.â
Relief hits him from your words. He does feel way more comfortable, the entire lab becoming less daunting all because you were simply right here next to him. His mind momentarily flashes back to all what youâve done for himđfrom the tutoring, to the way youâve been nothing but supportive and patient with him, before it all circles back to the mutual fondness blooming its way within the crevices of your hearts together.
He likes you, and you like him back. Jun still has no idea how this came to be, because he used to think he had no such chance with you. Yet now, he has the freedom to think about where he wants to take you on your first date.
The rest of the dissection goes by with ease. Slowly but surely, other students begin to clean up their workspace and submit their lab reports to Professor Lee, their tasks winding down as the lab session comes to a close. The lab starts to empty out as the minutes tick by, and it isnât long until thereâs just a few more students leftđyou and Jun included.
âHere, Iâll finish up here,â You tell him, taking the brain into your hands without hesitation and placing it into a sealed bag for disposal later on. Then you take the dissection tools into your hands and walk off towards the sink to wash them, leaving Jun hanging in a bit of a daze.Â
âI⌠What can I do then?â he asks, wanting to contribute still.
You turn back to him, humming in contemplation.Â
âLetâs see⌠Disinfect the table, take off your gloves and goggles, and thenâŚâ Your lips quirk up again. âJust stand there and look cute. Iâll handle the rest.âÂ
The tips of his ears flush with heat as you casually sidle away from him and towards the sink. Jun shakes away the flutters in his stomach, though the corners of his lips tugs upwards as he works on cleaning up the table.Â
Jun is already waiting by the door with his backpack on his shoulders as you finish up some tasks with Professor Lee. Once you get the signal that youâre free to leave, Jun feels the excitement pool down to his feet, a sense of accomplishment knowing that he was able to get through the one lab he dreaded most, and finished the class with a passing grade.
As you both exit the building, Jun pauses in his place, watching you continue to walk a bit without him.
âI owe you a date, you know,â he calls out to you with determination, though a pinch of nervousness still lingers.
You turn back to him curiously, and the way the sun catches on your face makes you appear more radiant above anything else. âA date, you say?âÂ
âYeah, IâŚâ He scratches the back of his neck sheepishly. âBefore all of this, I told you I would owe you something for helping me, and wellâŚâ He lets his shoulder relax. âI want to take you on a date.âÂ
Jun watches the way a bunch of emotions seem to morph among your face. Even with knowing how you feel for him, he still braces himself for a different kind of response.Â
Biting at the bottom of your lip, you step back up to him, and before he could fully process whatâs happening, you answer him with a quick, affectionate kiss to his cheek. Right at the corner of his lips, to be specific. Then you reach down and grip his wrist, tugging him gently towards you.
âYouâre on,â You challenge, a playful sparkle to your eyes. âLetâs get going.â
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also you wanna know another great reason Tommy is great for Buck??? Because heâs not a fan. Every single one of Buckâs previous girlfriend kinda idolized him for a reason or another. Ali and Taylor were victims he rescued. Natalia was a huge fan of him dying. Abby saw him on the news first.
Being your partnerâs fan is actually a good thing, except for the fact that Buck always equates love=usefulness and the fact that his girlfriends were fans made him feel like he had some standards to maintain. There was extra pressure in the relationships because they had expectations and he desperately wanted to meet their expectations. So the relationship always started with Buck trying to impress them but he never knew when to stop.
but with Tommy thereâs no pressure whatsoever. Tommy obviously likes him but he likes him because Buck shouted that their motto (as people who save lives for a living) should be âwho cares!â. He likes him after Buck accidentally maimed his best friend in a dumb basketball game. He likes him after Buck made a fool out of himself during their date and then invited him to his sister wedding and an 80-themed bachelor party and he likes him after he pouted because Tommy wasnât wearing a costume.
and Tommy doesnât make fun of him in the same way his family does but he still jokes about how ridiculous he is (âmhmmm so not like thatâ and âthey had Henleys in the 80sâ) and Buck needs someone like that, someone who will lift him up when heâs down (âEvan, I think youâre adorableâ and âyou already know Iâm interestedâ and âitâs not like I could ever replace you. Chris would have something to sayâ) but will also ground him when Buck gets a big head and starts having unrealistic expectations about himself.
so Tommy likes Buck because heâs Buck. Even better, he likes Buck because heâs Evan.
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â loveâs thesis.
pairing: alhaitham x gn!reader
premise: the most logical thing to do when you find out your pretend lover is actually your soulmate? conduct a research and fall in love in the process.
â warnings: inaccurate/unrealistic depictions of college, modern au.
â author's note: i write one long fic for alhaitham and suddenly that old project i have for him back in april is suddenly back. | ~5.9k words.
to say that alhaitham was royally fucked would be an understatement. he was behind three lectures, had a major paper heâs yet to touch, and now, with the sudden appearance of his soulmate mark, he wasnât sure what to tackle first.
alhaitham let out a long exasperated sigh, hand coming to drag down his already tired face as he irritatedly tapped on his table. the white screen of his laptop blinded him as the clock ticked, a constant reminder that he was losing time if he didnât type out at least a sentence to his professorâor to you. a low grumble left his lips when he closed his device and left his room to get another cup of coffee. mind swimming with how he was going to approach you, or if he was even going to say the implications of having your name written on his forearm.
when he reached the living space of his apartment, there you were, in the same position and predicament as him. you looked up from your books and gave him a weary and crooked smile. eyes sunken and hair a mess but all alhaitham could see was how the lamp light on the coffee table illuminated your features. the pounding of his heart was back and all he could offer you was nod before going to the kitchen. this was stupid, he reminded himself. how could the person heâs been fake dating for sheer convenience be his actual soulmate. you, who dreams of fairytales and happily ever after, his soulmate? alhaitham scoffed in disbelief as he waited for the coffee machine to finish his drink.
his mind was torn; alhaithamâs rationality screaming at him to just be honest and tell you now but the more curious side of him wanted to test out this soulmate thing. from the corner of his eye, he sees you stretch your arms over your head and let out a tired sigh. books and papers and devices scattered on his floor as you push your hair out of your face. up until a few hours ago, you were nothing more than a footnote in his life, but now as his eyes took another glimpse over the inking of your name, alhaitham begins to wonder if offering to be your fake boyfriend was also part of fateâs plans.
just then, when the coffee machine finished his drink, an idea popped into his mind. something that would quench his curiosity over the idea of soulmates and finish this thesis heâs yet to even start on. and it would only take 4 steps.
--
STEP 1: THE PROPOSAL
this was abnormal behavior for alhaitham. he has never felt so nervous and antsy in his life until now. alhaitham never felt his palms sweat when the panelists grilled him during his presentations or when he nearly fucked up a speech because he had 2 hours of sleep prior. he concluded that it must be the left over adrenaline from stealing kavehâs concealer to hide your name on his forearm.
he wasnât ashamed to have you as his soulmate, it was quite opposite now that he thinks about it. you were a proud scholar like him. the only difference was you were in vahamuna and him in harvatat. but that didnât deter you from engaging in academic banter and debates with him. alhaitham just felt a bit unsure how to approach the topic of soulmates with you, especially when he was the first one to lay down the boundary that everything is purely for convenience and that no feelings should be involved.
âiâm very confused,â your voice cuts through his inner dilemma as you skim over his proposal paper. âis it really okay for me to assist you in this research? wouldnât faruzan or maybe someone in harvatat be of more help?â
âmy topic delves into relationships. seeing as though you are my lover,â alhaitham pauses and he didnât fail to pick up on the blood rushing to your cheeks when he called you his lover. âyouâre my best option.â
there was an amused glint in your eyes when you shook your head. you slowly packed your things and handed his proposal back to him. âthis is giving me major deja vu.â the grin on your lips and playful tone also took him to memory lane when he first proposed to this fake date situation.
âiâm assuming this is a yes?â he raised a curious brow at you. the two of you falling into each otherâs pace as you left the library.
âitâs a yes.âÂ
STEP 1: COMPLETED.
--
STEP 2: RESEARCH AND ON FIELD EXPERIMENTS.
once his paper was given the green light, he offered to start when you reached his apartment. having nothing to do, until your groupmates replied to you at least, you entered his space and sat yourself on the floor. opening your laptop while alhaitham went to the kitchen to get you something to drink and munch on, you canât help but feel so at home. alhaitham notices this every time so he makes a mental note of your behavior for later use.
hours passed and after many coffee drinks, wingstop takeouts, 10 minute power naps, an unintended pillow fight, and blasting random songs to keep you both awake and sanity intact, you and alhaitham decided on a few experiments to conduct on his research.
STEP 2: COMPLETED.
--
STEP 2.1: EMOTIONAL SYNCHRONY UNDER EMOTIONAL EXPERIENCES.
âalhaitham, where did you get thatâŚ?â
the gray haired man looked up from his tablet and nodded towards your direction. his eyes glancing over to the heart monitors that were now present in his living room. âthe local hospital.â
âyou really are full of surprises,â you let out an amused chuckle. dropping your stuff beside the coffee table and sitting next to him, he hands you the many wires of the heart monitor. âhow did you even get these to your apartment.â
he got up from his seat and crouched to the level of his tv, not answering your question. sorting through the many movie discs he had rented out for the both of you to watch and test the level of emotional synchrony. âwhat would you like to watch first?â
alhaitham had never whipped his head back faster in his life when he caught you raising your shirt. showing off your midriff as you attach the wires to your chest. he felt his temperature rise as you answered a simple anything to his question. this was ridiculous, his mind echoed, heâs seen you in a bathing suit when you and his friends went to the beach. alhaitham didnât understand why he felt so flustered. shoving a random cd into the cd player and taking the remote, he sat back down on the couch. he just prayed that you donât question the sudden flush on his cheeks.
one horror movie, three romcoms, one tragedy, and one thriller later, you both decided to take a break.
âany progress so far?â you ask with a tilt of your head.Â
he hummed in response. âremarkable to say the least.â
alhaitham hands over the tablet to you while he detaches himself from the heart monitor. he made his way to the kitchen and took out two cups from his cupboard. âthe study we found last time stated that close companions tend to copy the otherâs emotional response under emotional stress.â
âand?â you take the cup he offered gingerly and took a sip. it was coffee, made just how you like it. âhow did we do?â
he took a sip of his own and took the tablet back.
âalmost perfectly in sync. fascinating isnât it?â
he tried his best to not show any signs of whatever he was feeling. as remarkable this was, it was a bit scary. and alhaitham didnât know what to make out of it. he knows that not all soulmates end up together, in fact, a study that was conducted five years ago proved that only a small margin of soulmates live long enough to meet their other half. and an even smaller margin of soulmates actually worked out. it was only the first experiment, the first trial, but alhaitham could feel the arms of inevitability and uncertainty wrap around his ribs and start breaking each bone one by one.Â
just by this one experiment alone, when he offered you a tissue to wipe your tears or when you leaned on him for support because of your laughter, alhaitham felt the inevitable pull towards you.Â
STEP 2.1: COMPLETED.
--
STEP 2.2: COMMUNICATION AND INTIMACY EXPERIMENT.
it was a busy day at lambadâs cafe. the establishment was housing many students who were all running on little to no sleep and coffee pumping in their veins. project month was proving to be hell on earth for the students. final research defenses and projects were usually held in this time and sometimes the following week would be their finals. itâs a brutal battle against time and insanity, those who donât have proper time management are almost guaranteed to repeat the year if they receive a single mark thatâs below the passing grade.
âgeez, busy as always.â you said, scrolling through your phone.Â
âiâd be more surprised if no one was busy,â he replied. âkaveh is practically living in his lecture hall.â
you let out a laugh as you put down your phone on the table, face down, as you take a bite off of your snack. âokay, my turn to ask a question.â
âshoot.â
this was todayâs experiment. communication and intimacy by using the famous â36 questions to fall in loveâ as your starting point. in every relationship, not just soulmates, communication needs to be present or else itâll fall apart sooner or later. conversation letâs people see parts of another they tend to hide. alhaitham wanted to scratch this experiment from the process, but after the last one, he wanted to try if there were any unpredicted outcomes.
many studies have already been conducted on this, alhaitham shouldnât have a problem finding a supporting article for his thesis. but after just a few questions, he began to think of this experiment as an excuse to get to know you more. heâs not sure if itâs the soulmate thing playing at his mind to get to know you but he suddenly had the urge to absorb every information about you like a sponge. a painful want to know you inside and out; a need to be able to completely explain you to someone else.
âquestion 27: if you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.â
alhaitham mulled over the question before giving his answer.
âmy indifference and wanting to keep most things private does not equate to me not caring about them.â he let his tongue roll over his lips, suddenly feeling parched with the way you were staring at him. âi have high walls, but that doesnât mean theyâre there to ward everyone off. iâm very particular with who i let in, so if they truly want to be my friend, iâd advise them to try until i welcome them in.â
a smile tugged at your lips and alhaitham felt he could finally breathe. âyour turn.â
âquestion 33: if you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? why havenât you told them yet?â
you let out a hum and leaned back in your seat. ânever telling the people i care about that i love them.â
âwhy havenât you told them yet?â he asks, crossing both his arms over the table and slightly leaning forward.Â
âi donât knowâŚâ you say honestly. a foggy look in your eyes as you stare at the ceiling. âmaybe iâm scared it won't sound genuine enough.â
alhaitham wanted to argue that everyone you care about knew that you love them dearly. he was one of those people after all. whatever label you have now was certainly fake, but the vulnerability and care you had for each other wasnât, and he would die on that hill.Â
âwell you shouldnât,â his voice cut through the quiet atmosphere. he hoped that it didnât sound too harsh. âif they cared about you, they would know whether you're being genuine or not.â
if someone told alhaithamâs younger self that the walls heâd built up would crumble in just 36 questions, he wouldnât have believed it. he still finds it hard to believe when you both exit the cafe and go your separate ways. but all he can do is accept it. through those questions, he learned more about youâyour dreams, values, cherished memories, and vulnerabilities you shared with him first.
ahaitham concluded that this experiment was worth keeping. he felt more connected to you than ever.
STEP 2.2: COMPLETED.
--
STEP 2.3: RESEARCH SYMPOSIUM.
admittedly, this wasnât in the original list of experiments you and alhaitham had planned but decided to go along with it. the akademiya regularly held a research symposium and had one or two students present preliminary research to batches of students. this year, he was asked to do it and he dragged you to be his partner because who else would he ask. certainly not kaveh.
âdo your best! iâll be backstage if you need anything.â he simply nods at your support and walks to the stage. before beginning, he takes one last glance at you. he didnât know what urged him to do it, but after seeing you flash him a thumbs up and an encouraging grin, he let a small smile loose before looking towards the batch of students that wonât give a single shit about what heâs saying.
roughly 45 minutes later, alhaitham stepped down the podium and bowed. applause echoed throughout the hall as he made his way backstage to find you. the next batch would be listening to you after all. he stopped in his tracks when he saw you happily chatting with a student he didn't recognize.Â
âyouâre presentation is next, do your best!â he excitedly said. alhaitham narrowed his eyes when the unfamiliar boy rubbed the back of his nape, a flushed tint reaching his cheeks. âmaybe after the dayâs over we can go get some coffee?â
how strange it was. ever since your name appeared on his forearm heâd started feeling so many new emotions that he normally wouldnât imagine feeling. it was an ugly feeling, he concluded. alhaitham didnât like how relieved he felt when you declined the boyâs invitation and when you caught sight of him, he felt his heart beat rapidly in his ears when you skipped over to him. he already knew why he felt a sudden surge of pride take over him when you drag him further back stage to review your presentation, completely ignoring the other boy.Â
it was for research, so why did his arm wrap loosely around your waist like second nature?
STEP 2.3: COMPLETED.
--
STEP 2.4: CREATIVE AND ARTISTIC COLLABORATION.
you were the one who coined this idea after a quick chat with kaveh. for once, the blonde man had an insightful opinion and offered to schedule you and alhaitham to a quick session of painting on your next day offs. now here were the three of you, inside a painting studio with other students in the art department of the akademiya, seated in front of a white canvas and a tray of colors.
from the corner of his eyes, alhaitham took notice of how you and kaveh animatedly chatted. the same ugly feeling he felt that day backstage came back in full throttle. clicking his tongue, he shifted his focus back on the instructorâs voice and followed his instructions. every once in a while, he would take a peek at you and feel something bloom inside his chest when caught a glimpse of that determined look on your face. by the time he looked back at his canvas, he felt the wind inside his lungs be stolen away when he realized he used your colors to paint.Â
different shades and strokes of your favorite colors invaded his senses. his own mind playing tricks on him because he couldâve sworn you were peering over his shoulders, hands wrapped around his waist and your chin comfortably set on one of his shoulders. alhaitham felt the ghosts of your warmth and couldnât help but crave it.
he snapped out of his daydreams when the instructorâs assistant approached him. she was the same age as you and with just one look, alhaitham concluded that she was interested in him. it took all of his will power to not roll his eyes when she complimented his work and not subtly ask for his number. thankfully, she was called back to the instructorâs side. he felt a shiver run down his spine when the girl looked over her shoulders and winked at him. he was most definitely not coming back here ever again.
when the class finished, alhaitham had successfully painted 3 canvases, all with your favorite colors and things that reminded him of you. a successful experiment if he does say so himself.Â
meeting up with kaveh near the exit they both engaged in small chatter. the blonde architect complaining about how heâs burning through his concealer faster than he expected because of the lack of sleep. alhaitham made sure to just hum and nod here and there to not give himself away that he was the reason why kavehâs makeup was running out.Â
âi swear! this school wants its students six feet under before they graduate.â
he tunes out the complaints of his senior and mindlessly scrolls through his phone. tapping his foot impatiently when the assistant from earlier started making her way over to him. scoffing in annoyance he was about to drag kaveh out the door and wait for you outside but an arm tangled with his and started tugging him.
âgood job today!â you grin at alhaitham with both your arms interlaced with the other.Â
taking a peek over his shoulder, alhaitham caught sight of the assistant girl scoffing and rolling her eyes. he shifted his focus back on you, eyes meeting anyone and anything but his. an amused smirk was present on his face when he felt your hand tighten its hold around his bicep.Â
âjealous?â he teases.
you roll your eyes and grip his arm tighter. âmaybe.â
STEP 2.4: COMPLETE.
--
STEP 2.5: COOKING.
the constant ticking of the clock and the tic tac of keyboards was all alhaitham could hear. it was almost midnight and the two of you had decided to pull another all nighter together. at this point, the two of you had been working on his thesis for almost a month now, and alhaitham is still yet to come to a conclusion.
he definitely feels something for you. but there was an uncertain part of him that wonders if his feelings are truly genuine or if the idea of being soulmates was hindering his unbiased thinking. you look up from your laptop when you hear him stop typing and softly ask him if heâs alright. alhaitham wanted to answer no, he was not in the slightest bit alright. but he neednât open his mouth to reply because you already stood up and invited him to the kitchen.
âletâs cook something to eat. weâve been ordering too much takeout lately.â there was a sheepish grin on your lips as you opened his fridge and took out some ingredients. âwhat do you say?â
alhaitham didnât really have a choice when youâre already started preparing. and even if he wanted to, he wouldnât be able to say no. when it came to you, he always found it hard to decline your invitations and advances. so now here he was, helping you cook buttered noodles at 11:57 p.m. with your playlist softly playing in the background.
heâs read a study about how cooking tends to deepen relationships between people. alhaitham wonders if this will also happen with what you and him have now. he didnât really have think too much of it because once he hears you hiss from accidentally touching the pot with boiling water, heâs already by your side. a gentle hand guiding yours under the faucet running with cold water as he lectures you about being careful. you only laugh and say heâs worrying too much. patting him on the arm, a silent message to release your hand, alhaitham lets you continue your duty of cooking the pasta as he grates the cheese and prepares plates.
something about this fragile moment has alhaithamâs mind swimming with possibilities for the future. all he could think about is how nice it would to come home to you after a long day of work (he already does this, he just wonât admit it). crashing into your arms without care as he prattles about his day, his head on your chest while your hand gently strokes over his hair. listening intently to whatever he had to say because you loved listening to his voice.
âhaitham can you help me drain the water?â before you could even turn around to face him, he's already behind you. his larger hands held your smaller ones and helped you guide the pot to the sink. alhaitham doesnât miss the burning of your ears and heâs overcome with the urge to tease.
âwhy so quiet?â he asks with a playful lilt to his voice. âare you that tired?â
he hears you scoff and grumble. that fuzzy feeling swimming inside his chest again as you duck under his arms and sit yourself on his dining table. he raises a brow at you but you only raise the hand that touched the boiling pot.Â
âmy hand is hurting again?â
âare you serious?â
âdeadly serious.â
alhaitham knew you were horsing around but he only chuckled with a shake of his head. in the end, by the time it reached 12:12, the two of you were eating happily. no small talk or conversation was present but neither of you minded. all you cared about was being in his presence and alhaitham would give it to you even if you hadnât asked for it. he looks up from his plate when he hears you chuckle and sees you tiredly swirling the food on your fork.Â
âweâre not getting any sleep tonight arenât we?â there was something dreamy about the way you looked right now. evidently tired, hair a mess and flying in any and every direction, and your eyes were droopy. you looked so at home -at peace- and alhaitham wonders if itâs because you two were spending time together.
âyou ask that as if itâs the first time weâve done this.â you laugh at his reply and look at him. a certain emotion in them that he can only recognize as fondness.
alhaitham concludes from this unscripted experiment that he wouldnât mind cooking with you every night.
STEP 2.5: COMPLETED.
--
STEP 2.6: VULNERABILITY AND TRUST.
today marked the last week and final experiment of alhaithamâs thesis. the both of you decided to leave the âscariestâ experiment for last so you wouldnât feel too uncomfortable. after all, being blindfolded and led to some unknown place wasnât something normal couples would do on a daily basis. yet here you were, trusting him completely with your safety as he holds your hand leading you somewhere.
âyou doing okay there, haitham?â
this was dangerous. alhaitham shouldnât be walking backwards. but he couldnât snuff out his desire of seeing you under the setting sun. he could bump into something and fall, compromising this experiment, but just this once, alhaitham let himself cheat. disobey his own rules. heâs already broken multiple ones so whatâs one more?
âi should be asking you that,â he pauses when he hears you chuckle. âiâm not the one blindfolded here.â
âaww donât worry haitham. i trust you wonât kill me.â
âyou donât know that.â
âdo you even know how to hide a body?â alhaitham was about to reply when you cut him off. ânevermind you probably do.â
alhaitham didnât bother to stifle a laugh at your sudden confession. and you laugh with him. when his back bumps into a metal pole, he takes it as a sign to finally turn around and walk the correct way. it hasnât been a minute yet heâs already missing the sight of your smiling face.
âtell me a secret, haitham.â
âwhy?â
âthis is a vulnerability and trust experiment. tell me something you havenât told anyone.â
he takes a minute to reply. after much contemplation, alhaitham thinks itâs time to tell you.
âiâm scared of my soulmate.â
âwhy are you scared?â your voice turned quiet. it sounded more like an inaudible murmur.
âyou already know iâm not one for relationships,â he hears you hum. âbut recently their name appeared on my forearm. it was unexpected, in fact, i didnât even think it was possible.â
âwhy would you think that?â you sound almost hurt. alhaitham didnât like it.
âsoulmates are too unreliable. youâve certainly seen the multiple studies on them right? most soulmates donât even get the chance to meet their other half.â
âand yet here we are,â he chuckled and intertwined your fingers. âdoing a study on soulmates and testing the potential emotional synergy they might have.â
âi have a strict framework for my life. i built it with facts and logic. soulmates simply donât fit into that framework. the idea of someone having such a profound impact on my life, someone i didnât chooseâ it feels like iâm losing a battle against fate.â
âyou canât fight fate, haitham.â
âand who said i was fighting it?â
alhaitham sighs, running a hand through his hair. âiâm scared that theyâll grow tired of this logical thinking of mine. what if they no longer want to understand me? what if we mix like oil and water?â
âyouâll never know unless you try,â you squeeze his hand in reassurance. âsometimes, you need a little unpredictability in your life. so what if they donât understand you immediately, most soulmates donât even get together when they first meet. relationships take time and effort.â
alhaitham turns to look at you again, studying your expression. thereâs softness in his eyes, he can just tell. âwhat about you? what are you afraid of?â
you stop walking entirely but not once did your hand slip away from his. âiâve been afraid of soulmates too. what if my soulmate isnât a good person? what would happen to my dreams of getting married and that happily ever after?â
alhaitham feels his heart beating inside his ears when you tug off the blindfold. when you meet his eyes with such a lovesick expression, he feels weak in the knees and throat drying up faster than the sands in the desert.
âbut what if your soulmate is better than you imagined?â there was a smirk on his lips when he takes a step forward. âwhat if heâs standing right in front of you as we speak, telling you that heâs willing to give the happily ever after youâve always wanted? all you needed to do was wait a bit longer.â
you let out a laugh and tug him closer. chest to chest, hand still holding each other. âdo you think so?â
âi know so.â
âwill he finally tell me what heâs planning with these experiments?â you lean forward and alhaitham feels his heart lurch forward.Â
he presses your foreheads together. closing his eyes to stop himself from laughing at the sight of you on your toes to reach him. âi canât say. itâs hard to put into words.â
you pout and hit him on the chest. âand why not?â
âiâve never felt such deep affection for someone until you.â
STEP 2.6: COMPLETED.
--
STEP 3: WRITING.
it took a shit ton of self control to stay away from you after his confession. he locked himself in his apartment, leaving you and kaveh to sleepover at tighnariâs since he wouldnât the door for anyone (this is a lie, he always opens the door for you when you bring him food).
now heâs around 75% done with his paper, and itâs taking longer than expected. his idea of locking his phone in the closet on do not disturb was going well.Â
the days continued to drag on and alhaitham scowled at himself for feeling so much yearning for a person heâs going to see tonight or in the following week. he missed the sound of your laughter and comforting presence as you both chased deadlines. but he was determined to finish this thesis tonight or tomorrow afternoon if he accidentally fell asleep.Â
as he expected, there was a knock on his front door. he frowned at how quickly he stood up. with a sigh, he went to the door and leaned on one of the walls with both his hands crossed over his chest.Â
âhaitham, i know youâre in there!â you shout, voice muffled by the door. âyou canât keep hiding there forever! thatâs kavehâs job.â
alhaitham let out a snort as his hand hovered over the doorknob. âiâm working.â
âthen work with me. i bought us takeout,â you said, tone teasing. âand iâm not leaving until you open the door.â
with a sigh he relented. knowing deep down that you were deadly serious and he didnât want to be the cause for a potential cold. when he unlocked the door there you were, your tote bag hanging on your shoulder while your arms held plastic bags of food. the mere sight of you has his mood brightening but he tried his best to keep it neutral.
âitâs late.â he said, trying to sound stern but failing miserably when you wrap a single arm on his waist.
âand yet here i am,â you didnât even wait for him to tell you to come in. youâre already dropping your things on his couch and sitting down on the floor. âyouâre place is a mess.â
he rolls his eyes and sat next to you. âthank you, iâm trying to copy kavehâs workspace.â
a laugh rippled through the space as you handed him his portion. âdonât be mean to him! heâs trying his best.â
you let alhaitham take a few bites before you leaned your head on his shoulder. eyes soft when you smile at him. âi missed you.â
âi missed you too,â he admits, wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you impossibly closer. âbut i need to finish the paper.â
âoh fuck you!â
you scowl at him and let out an annoyed huff as you take a bite of your own food. you donât get to savor it when a firm hand takes hold of your chin and pulls your face to alhaithamâs. your lips meet briefly before heâs nestling back on his seat. a cheeky grin on his face when you feel your cheeks burning.
âforgive me?â
STEP 3: (KINDA) COMPLETED.
--
STEP 4: CONCLUSION.
alhaitham let out a sigh of relief as he left the presentation room, loosening his too-tight tie. the sun was high, indicating that it was around afternoon now. the defense took longer than expected due to the panelistsâ questions, and the knowing looks of headmaster nahida and rukkhadevata. he shivered when he recalled how he barely escaped miss nahidaâs clutches.
he speedwalked down the corridors of the akademiya, keeping a firm grip of the extra copy of his thesis. those countless hours spent trying to perfect it was finally over and it proved to be worth all the effort. he had no doubts in his mind that he got a good mark. but now, he had one final thing he needed to do.
a warm breeze greeted him when he stepped outside. he closed his eyes for a moment, letting the warm afternoon sun ease his nerves already knowing where to go next. he needed to find you.
and find you he did. the moment he opened lambadâs cafe doors, his eyes by habit, searched for you in your usual seat by the window. half of your face hidden by your laptop screen and a coffee cup in your hand. the sight brought a smile to his lips, and for a moment, he didnât move and let the scene in front of him be printed into his mind.
taking a deep breath, he walked over to you. âmind if i join you?â
you looked up, not surprised but still happy to see him. âhow did it go?â
âwell,â he said, sitting down across from you. âa lot more intense than i thought, but i did alright.â
âalright seems like an understatement,â you say in amusement, closing your laptop as your eyes flicked over to the papers he held.
alhaitham was struck with the feeling of deja vu. this scene in front of him mirrored the time where he first proposed the idea of partnering up for his thesis. now, here you both were, sitting across from each other with his finished thesis.
you raised a knowing brow at him. âwhatâs this?â
âthe final version of my thesis,â he said, trying to keep his voice steady. âi wanted you to have look.â
âiâm honored.â you say with a big smile.
he nodded and took a deep breath. âthereâs something iâve been meaning to tell you.â
you hum to signal him to continue as you flip through the papers and skim over his hard work.
âduring my presentation, i talked a lot about the impact of relationships. how it affects someoneâs behavior, both consciously and subconsciously. i talked about you.â
you suddenly look up, eyes wide. âwhat did you say?â
âthat emotional synergy doesnât only apply to soulmates. itâs for everyone. even before your name appeared on my forearm, you and i already shared a connection that felt deeper than most soulmates had. from pretend to the profound truth; youâre my soulmate.â
you blinked at him, trying to process everything heâs said. âyou really talked me?â
alhaitham nods, a small smile on his lips when he leans over and flips you to where his experiments come into play. âi did. i talked about our relationship, even when it started as pretend and for convenience, had impacted my life significantly. how i always seem more relaxed and focused when youâre by my side. i couldnât imagine my life without having you in it the more time we spent together.â
he paused, taking another deep breath. âwhen i first saw your name on my forearm, i couldnât believe it. it complicated things severely. but the truth is, youâve always been my soulmate, even before the mark appeared.â
you take his hand in your and intertwine your fingers. and alhaitham couldnât help but feel his heart quicken when he sees his name written on your wrist. âyou scared me for a while, you know?â
he leaned forward, cupping your face in his free hand. âyou donât have to feel scared anymore. itâs real, even without the marks, itâs always been real. i want to spend the rest of my life with you.â
you let out a shaky breath and smile. âi love you.â
âi love you too,â he murmured, thumbs brushing against your tears to wipe away the stray tears that fell. âmore than words can express. i have never known anything else but loving you.â
STEP 4: COMPLETED.
--
BONUS:
Š vxnuslogy 2024. do not plagiarize, repost, or translate any of my works without my knowledge or consent in other platforms or websites.
#âstellaronhvnters.#ăť nouveau livre ËËË#genshin impact x reader#genshin x reader#genshin impact imagines#genshin impact headcanons#genshin imagines#genshin impact x you#genshin impact alhaitham#alhaitham headcanons#alhaitham x you#alhaitham x reader#alhaitham imagines#( đĄ ) â royal flush of stories .á
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facing it together | CL16
charles leclerc x female!reader
warnings: emotional angst, pregnancy, accident, mention of loss, blood, hospitals, mention of loosing a baby
note: i took some inspiration for this from an episode of one tree hill (my favourite show) when haley gets into the accident while pregnant in season four / also i don't know much about medical procedures so im sorry for any inaccuracy and/or sounding unrealistic
word count: 3.7k
masterlist | taglist
You and Charles hadnât been dating long but you were already head over heels for each other, knowing you wanted to spend the rest of your lives with each other.
Your relationship however had recently been thrown a curve ball in the shape of a positive pregnancy test. At first you were both stunned and at a loss of words but once the shock wore off, you were able to have a proper conversation on what you wanted to do and you both agreed you wanted this.Â
There were some obstacles as Charles lived in Monaco when he wasnât going across the world with his career and you lived in London where you had your job and your friends.
That was the first obstacle which didnât take long to resolve, you wanted to be with Charles and if that meant moving to Monaco you were all in.Â
The next obstacle was moving. Moving was a difficult task for anyone let alone a pregnant woman whose boyfriend could only be of help during small breaks at a time.Â
Which was why you both had decided to hold off on the moving process until it was the summer break for Charles and he could fly to London to help you fully and so until then you decided to stay in London.
You wouldâve loved to been able to go and see Charles during some of the races but your first trimester was nothing but a nightmare.Â
Your morning sickness was basically all day, your body ached and most of the time all you wanted to do was sleep. Charles understood completely and would reassure you that you were housing your unborn child, he prioritized that above everything else. Â
Another obstacle was the media. You and Charles hadnât been dating long, less than a year and now you were having a baby. You were afraid of what people would say which was why you held off telling anyone especially the fans at least until you were situated in Monaco with Charles and then you could figure it out from there.Â
Once you hit your second trimester, you started feeling better which brought both you and Charles relief. You had also been able to join him at Silverstone seeing as it was where you lived. You thanked London for being rainy because it allowed you to wear a hoodie to cover the bump you had started developing.Â
It had been a decent race given the weather. Charles managed to get P4, he wouldâve loved to have been on the podium for you but you reassured him you were proud of him regardless of where he placed, plus you reminded him with no podium celebrations gave them more time together which uplifted his mood.Â
Luckily there was a bit of a break between Silverstone and the Hungary Grand Prix which meant Charles could not only spend time with you but could also help you start to pack up your apartment.
He had stayed as long as he could in between the races but unfortunately the time came when he had to go. You sadly smiled at him as you stood by your doorÂ
âItâs only a few weeks baby and then weâll be able to start being a familyâ you reminded him as he put his hand on your small but noticeable bump.
It was still a little early for Charles to feel your baby but you could sometimes feel little flutters, regardless he still enjoyed having his hands on your bump.Â
He nodded at your words âI know I knowâ he said as he closed his eyes temporarily before opening them again and leaning down to give you a kiss before going on his knees to talk to your bump
âHi baby of mine, its your Daddyâ he started as you smiled looking down at him âI have to leave you and mommy again but I promise you soon weâll all be together and then before we know it youâll be with us in our armsâ he said âI cant wait to meet you, I love youâ he said giving your bump a small kiss before getting up.Â
You shared another kiss and then he grabbed his bag, leaving. You sighed, you couldnât wait till you were back in his arms and could officially start this chapter of your life together.Â
The events that followed however was by far the biggest obstacle you, Charles and your unborn baby would have to face.Â
-
You had been packing in between watching your boyfriendâs qualifying on Saturday and then ready to watch the race on Sunday especially given there was only an hour time difference.
Sunday rolled around and you realized you didnât have anymore packing foam. You groaned of course right as the race was about to start so you quickly shot Charles a text, knowing he wouldnât see it until after.Â
'Y/N: Good luck baby! Me and Baby are rooting for you! â¤ď¸Â '
You sent it and then got up, putting your coat on, slipping your boots on and being sure to grab your purse that had your wallet in it. You left your apartment, locking up and started your way to the hardware store.Â
You were a careful person when you crossed streets and always made sure to double check for any cars coming especially since the pregnancy, you couldnât risk anything. If only today had been like others.Â
It all happened so fast, you started stepping on the road to cross to the other side when a car came zooming and before you or the driver could react, the car had hit you pretty badly, knocking you out almost immediately.
The driver instantly pulled his phone out calling 911 before checking on you. You were bleeding from your head and your white coat had blood stains mixed with road dirt.Â
The paramedics arrived as fast as they could and took care of you. The police had also arrived and had escorted the driver away to deal with him once he was all cleared.
You however were in pretty rough shape and once the paramedics realized you were pregnant too, they knew they had to move faster to hopefully be able to save you and your baby.Â
-
Charlesâ POV
That race had been so exhilarating. I had managed to get P2. Immediately I jumped into the teams arms once the car was parked and I was out of it.
As I got congratulated from everyone I smiled, thanking them and then made my way to the cooldown room. I spoke casually with Max and Fernando who were the other drivers on the podium.Â
Eventually came time for the podium ceremony. I smiled at everyone down below and after the national anthem came time for the champagne showers. Once that was all done, I had some time to go back to my drivers room to freshen up a bit before some media interviews.Â
I reached for my phone once I entered the room and a frown appeared on my face. There was only one text from you and it had been from before the race.
That was unusual seeing as you would usually spam text Charles and after his P2, you wouldâve already sent congratulations with an excessive amount of emojis.Â
Suddenly I felt uneasy, not sure if I should give you a call to check in. Before I could pull up your contact to give you a quick call an unknown number was calling me. The area code was from the UK, the only person I knew from there who wouldâve been calling was you.Â
I answered immediately âHelloâ I said waiting for a response but instead was met with something that sounded alot like sniffles from crying âHelloâ I said again a bit louderÂ
âOh sorry, is this Charles? Y/Nâs boyfriendâ an unknown voice askedÂ
âYes. Who is this? Is she okay?â I asked, the uneasy feeling never leaving meÂ
âThis is Janice Im a friend and a co worker of hers, she gave me your number after she found out about the baby incase anything happenedâ she started saying
âI donât know how to tell you this but she was in a pretty bad accident, sheâs in surgery right nowâ she finished telling me.
Suddenly I felt dizzy and off balance. I sat on the couch in my drivers room and took in her words âaccidentâ and âsurgeryâ.Â
âCharles, are you still there?â I heard Janice ask even though I was struggling to find my words. Then suddenly it hit me and I realized what was happening.Â
âYes Iâm here. Iâm getting on a flight as soon as I can. Please text me the detailsâ I told her before hanging up.Â
The next few moments passed as a blur as I quickly dressed into proper clothes, not even caring where I through my race suit, someone could come in here after and tidy up. I grabbed my backpack and flew out the door. I needed to find Fred and then leave.Â
I saw Fred luckily right when I rushed down the steps standing with CarlosÂ
âOoi mate where are you going in such a rushâ Carlos asked seeing how frazzled I mustâve looked
âMy girlfriend she was in a bad accident, I need to get to the UKâ I rushed outÂ
âWait what happened to Y/Nâ he asked
âIm not sure I just know sheâs in surgery and I need to be there for them when she wakes upâ I explained then remembered no one knew about the pregnancy
âWhat do you mean them?â Fred askedÂ
I sighed, the longer I stayed here the more stressed I became âSheâs pregnant. We were keeping it a secret until we were ready to tell people other than familyâ I said as Carlos and Fred both shared the same expression of shock and happiness but then remembered what had happened to Y/N.Â
âGo, itâs fine, weâll come up with a reason why you had to leaveâ Fred said matter a factly âGo to the airstrip. Iâm gonna call ahead for a private jet, youâll get there quickerâ he said before stepping away, pulling his phone out to make the arrangements.Â
I shared a look with Carlos before he nodded at me and I was out the doors. The lives of the two most important people in my life hung in the balance and I couldnât get to them any quicker if I tried.Â
-
After a flight that I swore took a lifetime, I finally arrived at the hospital Janice had texted me the address of. I rushed in to the front deskÂ
âHi my girlfriend Y/N Y/L/N was brought in, she was in an accidentâ I told the nurse slightly out of breathÂ
âHold on let me checkâ she said typing away in her computer before bringing your file up âIt looks like sheâs in recovery. Youâll have to wait in the waiting room and the doctor will be with you in a moment to fill you inâ she explainedÂ
âSheâs pregnant, is there anything on the baby?â I asked my heart aching at the thought of possibly losing the baby. âIm sorry sir, thereâs nothing on the baby yetâ she said sympathetically. I nodded and went to sit down.Â
I hated hospitals. After loosing my father and Jules, they just made me feel very uneasy. I found it hard to sit still, every time I sat down my leg bounced to the point I had to get up and pace instead.
I just needed them both to be okay. I didnât want to imagine what life would be like without either of them.Â
âFamily for Y/N Y/L/Nâ I head a doctor ask, I quickly walked over âThats me, Iâm her boyfriend and the father of her babyâ I told him. I tried to gage the look in his eyes but he was hard to read which didnât help my uneasiness.Â
âYour girlfriend was hit pretty hard, she has a couple broken ribsâ he started explaining âShe also hit her head which caused some bleeding in the brain but luckily we were able to stop the bleeding, unfortunately because of that though sheâs currently in a coma. We have hope sheâll wake up, itâs just hard to tell when thatâll beâ he finished as I took in all of his words.Â
âAnd the baby?â I asked hearing my voice crackÂ
âAt this point itâs hard to tell, Im sorryâ the surgeon said âI can give you her room number though and you can go sit by her bed. Hopefully sheâll be awake soon and we can get an ultrasound done for the babyâ he told me as I nodded afraid to speak.Â
Once I had her room number I took the elevator up and walked in when I reached the door. She was laying so peacefully, it almost looked like she was sleeping minus the monitors around her and the bandage wrapped around her head. I wanted to break down but I knew I needed to be strong for her and our child.Â
I carefully sat down in the chair next to her bed, reaching for her hand, holding it gently and placing a delicate kiss on her bruised knuckles.Â
âOh mon amourâ I whispered âI need you to wake up, not just for me but for our childâ I said still whispering slightly even if no one was around âYouâre my whole world, I cant lose you, either of youâ I said placing a hand on her bump.
-
There was no movement or any change for the first few hours, I was starting to lose hope so I went to the one place I thought might be able to help.
I quietly walked into the prayer room, taking a seat in one of the back isles. I wasnât an overly religious person which was why I wasnât here for God but rather someone else.Â
âJules, if you can hear me I need you to do me a favourâ I started closing my eyes âPlease please pull some strings and do what you can up there to help her and our baby, I cant lose them tooâ I said as I felt a tear fall from my eye
âAs much as I know youâd take care of them up there, I donât want thatâ I continued opening my eyes and wiping the tears that started to fall âJust please, you and Papa, I need you two to help us out down hereâ I finished before getting up and walking back to her hospital room.Â
-
Y/Nâs POVÂ
Everything hurt. I felt this weight on me but I couldnât figure out if it was really there or if my body just felt heavy. I used every bit of strength I had to try and open my eyes which wasnât easy, especially with this weight on me.
Eventually the light started to shine through and after a couple blinks my eyes focused on a white ceiling. I couldnât move my head too much but I was able to take a glance around me, I was in a hospital.
I thought back to the last thing I remembered and suddenly it all came rushing back, where I was going, starting to cross the street, the impact of the car, then after that it goes dark.Â
I noticed a head on my lap, confused at first but then soon realized it belonged to my boyfriend. He mustâve been sleeping. More of the day came back to me; texting him before the race, not being able to watch it.
My throat was extremely raw but between my slight movement and struggling to take a few breaths I was able to muster out his name which got his attention immediately.Â
âOh my love youre awakeâ he said, I saw tears forming in his eyes âWait here drink some water, the doctor said it might hurt to talk at firstâ he said as he leaned over grabbing a cup from the bedside table, helping me drink the water. It helped with the raw feeling.Â
âThank youâ I said softly âWhat happened?â I asked even though I remembered some of what had actually happened.
âYou were in an accident. Someone hit you with their car, the paramedics said your head was bleeding when they arrived on scene and it caused a bleed in your brain but the surgeons were able to stop itâ he started explaining what happened after it went dark.
âYou also have a couple broken ribs but theyâll heal with timeâ he finished stroking my face
âI was so scared when I got the call. I donât think Iâve ever moved so fast to get out of the paddock beforeâ he told me softly. I could tell he was barely holding it together.Â
âIm okay. Im hereâ I reassured him taking his hand squeezing it so he knew this was real, he nodded.Â
âWhat about the baby? Is the baby okay?â I asked suddenly as I glanced at my bumpÂ
âThey havenât been able to do an ultrasound without you awake but they arenât sure, they said we should be prepared for the worstâ he told me sadly. I sighed, there was no way this could be happening. Before we could say anything more to each other, my surgeon came inÂ
âOh Miss Y/L/N, itâs lovely to see you awakeâ he smiled at me, I did my best to smile back, he had saved my life after all.
âIm assuming your boyfriend told you everything I passed along to him so I wont bore you with the details againâ he continued âI will say your broken ribs should take about 6 weeks to heal and youâll have to come back for weekly checkups for your head until we can be sure it hasnât started bleeding againâ he went through his doctor notes.Â
I nodded along with him âAnd one last thing, Iâve called the on call obstetrcian to come and do an ultrasound to see the status of your baby. She should be here any minute and once sheâs done, depending on what she finds we may have to take follow up steps but we wont go down that road now. Iâll send a nurse in after the ultrasounds done to check on your vitals and then we can talk about dischargeâ he finished. I thanked him before he left.Â
âMon amour are you okay? Thats a lot to take inâ Charles asked gently holding my hand
âYeah yeah Iâm okay, I just donât know what weâll do if we lost the babyâ I shared with him using my other hand to rest on my bumpÂ
âWeâll figure it out togetherâ he told me leaning over and leaving a kiss on my forehead.Â
-
After a few minutes passed, another doctor came in
âHi Iâm Doctor Smithâ she introduced herself as she wheeled in an ultrasound machine with her âLets see whatâs going on with your little oneâ she said trying to be optimistic although everyone knew the results may not be good.Â
I carefully lifted my gown up to reveal my stomach where she squeezed the ultrasound gel on then used the wand to move it around, turning the machine on.
Charles held my hand, not sure if he realized how tightly he was holding it but it didnât matter I was squeezing his hand just as tightly.Â
The room was silent while Dr. Smith continued to move the wand around starting to get a bit nervous until suddenly the silence was filled with a heartbeat.
At first we didnât know if we had heard it correctly but then she moved the wand slightly over and the heartbeat became louder and clearer. I let out a breath I didn't even realize I was holding in and felt the tears falling.Â
When I turned to Charles he was also crying. I did my best to pull him closely to hug him, he wrapped his arm around me kissing my head. âTheyâre okay. Theyâre okayâ he said as I nodded against him.Â
âYou have a very strong and healthy little boy here, I donât see anything to be concerned aboutâ Dr. Smith told usÂ
We pulled away from each other and looked at her âDid you say boy?â I asked. She suddenly became aware of what she had said
âOh im sorry did you not want to know?â she asked, I shook my head,
âNo no itâs okay, we just hadnât gotten around to finding out yetâ I explained as happy tears continued to fall.
She smiled at me âIâll give you a moment and then Iâll be back with your surgeonâ she told us as she used a cloth to wipe the gel off my stomach and then left the room, leaving the ultrasound machine in the corner.Â
âCharles weâre having a boyâ I said to him seeing he was in shock âAre you okay?â I asked worried since he hadnt said anythingÂ
âOh yeah iâm okay mon amour, Iâm just taking everything in, I was so worried we had lost himâ he told meÂ
âCome hereâ I said carefully moving over remembering about the broken ribs âNo mon amour you shouldnât moveâ he quickly saidÂ
âCharles please come sit with meâ I asked him, he saw the look in my eyes and knew there was no point in arguing so he carefully got up and sat next to me on the bed, being mindful of my broken ribs and the wires.Â
I looked at him âWeâre all okay, me you and our little boyâ I reassured him placing his hand on my bump, he nodded.Â
âI love you so muchâ he told me kissing my head again
âWe love you just as muchâ I said back to him closing my eyes and enjoying being in his arms, knowing our baby was okay and eventually Iâd be okay too.Â
"Oh wait how did the race go?" I asked suddenly remembering, opening my eyes and looking at him
He chuckled slightly "I got P2" he told me a small smile appearing on his face. I gave him a similar smile back and kissed his cheek carefully
"Another thing to be happy about, congrats baby" I told him putting my head back on his shoulder as he entertained our hands together and kissed the top of my head.
There may have been some obstacles thrown our way and more to come but together we could face anything.
-
thanks for reading, i hope you liked it. i wanted to write something other than pure fluff so i hope this does well. let me know your thoughts and feel free to add yourself to my taglist for my future works <3
taglist: @namgification @itsyagirlmeee @asparklysoul @bwormie @meadhbhcavanagh @talksoprettyjjx @ari-nicole
#ssprayberrythings x formula one#f1#f1 x reader#charles leclerc#x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#cl16#cl16 x reader#f1 imagine#imagines#cl16 x you#forza ferrari#cl16 one shot#cl16 imagine
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I would like to order a Vodka Cranberry neat please, with a salt rim and add a lime if thatâs allowed please đđđŤśđź
if thatâs allowed? honey we all know by now i will ride the angst train until the wheels fall offđŤĄ
[ âwhy do you even care?â âbecause i doâ + smut/angst + az ]
-> BLURB BAR <-
âWill youâwill you just stop for a second and listen to me?â
âThatâs all I ever do, Az.â The words wobble, a combination of anger and sadness ruining its stability. Tears stream down your face, staining the silk of your dress and smearing makeup that took you entirely too long to perfect. âListen to you and all your bullshit promises that you never fucking keep.â
His stealth is frustrating but not more than the pure self-hatred that brews when you canât fight the desire to glance over your shoulder; foolishly allowing your chest to bloom with heat when you realize he was following you.
It wasnât supposed to be like this anymore.
He promised to stay away.
Too dangerous, he said. Worried for your safety, he insisted.
Refused to be responsible for the guilt that would ensue if something horrid ever happened to you; a truth he canât confess but youâre well versed in reading between the lines.
âI know, Iâm sorryâjust please hear me out. Put me out of my fucking misery because I canât keep watching you go out with males who donât even deserve to share your air.â
If you werenât so hurt, maybe your mind wouldâve latched onto the last part of his sentence rather than the first. âPut you out of your misery?â The harsh click of your heels on cobblestone halts so abruptly it makes Azriel bump into you a little. Bare arms brush against the sturdy material of his leathers as they cross over your chest, goosebumps staved off by the steady warmth he radiates and you pretend thatâs why you donât create more distance. âWhy do you even care?â
Youâre not sure to really even want the answer.
Certain, it wonât be good enough.
After everything Azriel had put you through, this never ending game of tug of war. Giving you an inch only for him to rear back and snatch a mile. Your expectations are unrealistic; a soldier hanging up his sword just for you.
âBecause, I do.â
And yet, you still amuse the possibility.
Dusting off your hands and re-familiarizing yourself with the burn of rope in your grasp before taking a sharp, experimental tug.
Bodies gravitate closer like magnets, attempting to resist until the pull becomes too much.
Your heart hammers in your chest, silence filling the air for one, two, three whole seconds before the collision happens. Your lips against his own; a frenzy of a kiss where you canât really tell if your hands are running through his hair or tracing down the strong line of his neck and shoulders just to feel him or just to remember.
All hard lines and harsh breaths as tongues grow reacquainted. The pathetic little whimper he lets out when nails scratch along the back of his neck, a bite that toes the line of too much. âShouldnât matter to you who I date.â
It only makes him hold you tighter, tugging your hips in closer. âI know it shouldn't.â His words muffle against your mouth, too stubborn or too selfish to pull away for even a secondânot when he's finally gotten you close. âBut, it still does." Shadows stretch forward, cloaking you in darkness; shielding you from the hopeless male you'd left back at the restaurant, as if they feared he'd come stumbling out in search of you.
They make it clear that you're already taken; trapped even, by a male too greedy to allow even a drop of you be spilled. Azriel's tongue trails down the length of your neck, nose nuzzling in the inviting scent of your body oils. Memorizing parts of you heâd thought long forgotten.
A mole here. Scars there. Soft pudge that warms him down to the marrow when pressed against his hardness. âYou canât just keep following me around.â
Following was a light way of putting itâstalking was more right.
His figure looming in your blind spots, lingering around corners and watching like a hawk thatâs locked onto its prey. Your routine is committed to memory from the moment your fire tokes in the morning to the bakery you stop by in the middle of the week for a slice of fresh key lime pie. A reward for refraining from replying to his letters or pointedly ignoring the stunning floral display that arrives on your porch every week like clockwork. âCanât stop even if I wanted to. Not when I know youâre out with someone who canât even make you laugh.â
âAt least they donât make me cry.â Damn you for leaning in closer, basking in that familiar brood and the masculine musk that sends all five senses into a fritz. A defeated sigh escapes you when you melt to mush under his palms; too vulnerable to lie. âItâs easier with them.â
âEasyâs overrated.â Heâs kneading at the swell of your hips until bravery grows or restraint snaps and heâs pawing at handfuls of your ass. Guiding you back until you can feel rough brick catching on strands of your hair. âBoring tooâbet he wouldnât have been able to make you cum. Even if he actually tried.â
Takes everything in you not to bite back. Especially because Azrielâs sort of right but admitting that out loud is more humiliating than your body just giving it away. By now, he has to feel the frantic pulse of your jugular under his tongue. âMaybe I should go back and find out.â
If his warning growl doesnât send shivers down your spine, the nip of his teeth on such sensitive flesh does. âI dare you to try.â
A challenge that comes with stipulations.
Skillful hands work their way under your dress, teasing at soft thighs until his knuckles are bumping against laceâit locks you in place. Azriel lets out a mean chuckle when you hike one leg up on his hip, spreading yourself wide; presenting yourself instead of running away like you should.
It just feels so good.
Lower lips are spread wide, dripping with slick as two thick fingers glide through with ease. Azriel knows his way around, just barely dipping into a greedy hole before retreating only to tap at an achy bundle of nerves so he can see the desperate jolt of your hips. âNo,â He speaks more so for himself than you, too occupied with prying you open and feeling your arousal pool in his palm. âYou wouldnât do that. Probably havenât had a cock in this cunt since that last time I filled itâfeels just as tight as I left it.â
If the nights chill wasnât nipping at bared skin, you know your blush wouldâve burned all the way down your chest. âTrust me, itâs not for lack of trying.â
You shouldnât have said that. Probably wouldnât have if Azrielâs thumb wasnât working perfectly against your clit, calloused fingers rubbing against slick inner walls, abusing nooks and crannyâs that leave your knees buckling. âDonât you know that you canât give away a pussy that doesnât belong to you?â Salacious sounds squelch between your thighs, head thrown back and eyes rolling in your skull as Az takes and takes; unlocking the doors to your sex and greeting it with a warm welcome. âNot if I still own it.â
#acotar x reader#acotar x you#acotar#a court of thorns and roses#azriel#acotar azriel#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel acotar#blurb bar#azriel fic#azriel spymaster#azriel angst#azriel smut#acotar smut#acotar fics
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Content warning: Sukunaxreader smut, penetration, multiple positions, dominant Sukuna! , unprotected sex (Wrap it up!), pet names, Sexual theme, Adult theme, talking her through it, although it is sometimes not mentioned <READER IS BLACK FEMALE CODED>, BUT ALL ARE WELCOME TO ENJOY! â¤ď¸
Authur's Noteâ 18 and Under, GET TA STEPPIN! I know for sure this will be broken into parts, however I'm not sure how many parts will be to this. I just decided to get back into writing little dabbles here and there so I'm honestly just testing the waters with this. Slightly proofread (English is my first language, but even the baddest of Bitches still make mistakes! ÂŻ\_(ă)_/ÂŻ) ) I do hope you guys enjoy! đ¤
Synopsis: Youâve decided that you would begin your fitness journey. Accompanying your best friend, todayâs the day where youâll being taking working out and going to the gym seriously (well kind of). Lacking motivation and ready to go back home to lounge around to watch some TV and pig out, that all changes when suddenly you meet this drop dead gorgeous as hell man. Will he be the inspiration you need to continue your new lifestyle?
Part 1 found here ââ GYM RAT: PART 1
w.cÂť 2.1 K
It was Tuesday night, and you found yourself pacing back and forth in your apartment bedroom, forgetting that you had Jade on Facetime to help you pick an workout outfit to wear to the gym with Sukuna tomorrow.Â
âGirl I donât know why youâre stressing over an outfit, yaâll going to the gym not Ruthâs Chris.â Jade rolled her eyes at you jokingly. She thought it was cute how you were trying to make sure you were prepared for your gym date with Sukuna, but she also knew how bad you can overthink things, causing you to freak-out and panic.Â
âI know, I know but I still want to look like Iâve been to the gym before.â You stated back desperately. You know it sounds silly, but you wanted to make a good impression, even if it was just a workout session.Â
âHonestly Y/n, I swear you set unrealistic goals. You could show up in a trash bag and that man would still be into you.â Jade tried convincing you but to no avail. You were dead set on having the perfect workout attire to flaunt in for Sukuna.Â
âWell what about this, oh no wait what about this one?â You had two different sets in both of your hands, shoving one after the other in-front of the screen for Jade to critique.Â
Realizing that nothing she was saying was going to help the situation she caved in and took a good look at both outfits. The first was a high-waisted leggings and sport bra set in a rich, deep brown color and the other was an all into one, low cut design with a low scoop back and cross-body straps in all black. Remembering how Sukuna was looking at you as if he was going to devour you, she figured the later would surely set him over the edge.Â
âLetâs go with the all black, give my man something to work with.â Jade cackled out while wiggling her eyebrows up and down at you. You laughed nervously because you knew she was going to pick that one. To be honest, you wasnât sure why you grabbed that one in the first place when you set out to go to your local department store shopping for gym attire. When you seen it you knew it was something that was going to turn heads and demand attention, more importantly Sukunaâs attention, prompting you to hurry up and toss it inside your shopping cart before deciding against it. But now you wish you did change your mind. You knew you could pull it off, but you couldnât help but wonder if you would be coming off too strong, or desperate, by wearing it.Â
âYou asked for my opinion and I gave it to you. Youâre going to look amazing in it Y/n. Youâll definitely get worked out- uh I mean get a good work out in it.â Jade said quickly before you caught her statement. Noticing you were still too wrapped up in choosing between the two outfits, she blew out a breathe of relief at you not catching what she said. That most definitely wouldâve sent you in a frenzy and make you not want to go to the gym at all.Â
âI know, but are you sure? Like really, really sure.â You asked again. You knew you were too much inside of your head about the matter, but you needed reassurance. Looking back up to Jade you caught the look she was giving you and knew she was about to give you a piece of her mind when all of a sudden you squealed in shock from the incoming call flashing on your screen.Â
âY/n what the hell is wrong with you?â Jade asked bewildered. She watched as you hurried and ran to your vanity looking over your appearance before rushing back to her wide eyed.Â
âItâs him, heâs Face timing me!â You stated, looking back at Jade in shock. It took her a moment to figure out who it was you were talking about before she smiled devilishly and wiggled her eyebrows once more.Â
âWell what are you doing still on the phone with me? Answer him! Oh and show him your choices for tomorrow and see what he thinks.â She proclaimed. Before you could argue, she hung up the call leaving you to fend for yourself.Â
Shaking your head and exhaling out a deep breath, you answered Sukunaâs face time call with a small smile.Â
âHeyyy you.â You answered shyly. You mentally slapped yourself for how you answered the call.Â
âWhat am I, 12?â You thought to yourself.Â
Sukunaâs deep laugh pulled you out of your head, making you look at him and his surroundings. He was obviously at the gym, you heard the clanking of weights and the gymâs music in the background. He was staring back at you, looking like sex himself. His hair pushed back with sweat, making you just now notice how it was dyed pink, and a hue of pink across his cheeks signaling that he must have just wrapped up his workout session.Â
âWhatâs up ma?â His raspy, deep voice sounded off into your phoneâs speaker. The sound stirring up a feeling deep inside your stomach, making you want to record his voice to be played over and over.Â
âUh nothing much, I was just on the phone with Jade. You know, nothing too crazy.â You replied with a small smile. You kept your gaze transfixed on Sukuna, taking in his handsome features.Â
âGod this man is so fine.âÂ
âMh, what was that mama?â He asked while he placed his phone down. He was now in the guyâs locker room, checking himself out in the mirror.Â
âShitâ, you whispered to yourself, âNothing, I didnât say anything.â You answered, half stuck on the fact he heard you and also the new nickname heâd given you. Your brain was short fusing at the sight of him now peeling off his sweat drench compression shirt, revealing his abs to you once again. Your mouth watered at the sight while you unconsciously clenched your thighs together. If he pulled the stunt in-front of you tomorrow there was no way in hell you were going to make it through the workouts.Â
âOh yeah, what yaâll were talking about?â Sukuna asked, trying to hold in his smirk. He most definitely heard your remarks and he knew exactly what he was doing by taking off his shirt, soaking up your reaction. He felt he dick come to life by the sight of you clenching your thighs together. How he wished he was over your place right now, seating comfortably in between them.Â
âWell.. she was uh-she was helping me pick a outfit for tomorrow.â You answered quietly. Youâre not sure why you gave out the information, thinking he might think youâre crazy for discussing something as ridiculous as that.Â
âOh yeah? Let me see what you came up with.â He replied while shuffling through his gym bag.Â
Caught off-guard by his response, you were certain he would have just questioned why you would go to great lengths as that. You watched him for a little bit as he looked around in his gym back, thinking he mustâve have been joking until he turns around to look at you with his brows shot up in curiosity.Â
âWell ma, you âgon show me what you got?â He asked with a chuckle. He found you cute with your shy girl expression. He turned back to his bag, finally finding his towel so he could prepare for his shower.Â
You blew out a breath you didnât even realizing you were holding and thought the hell with it, he was going to see you in it regardless, whatâs the harm of you showing it to him now?
âWell okay, if you insist.â You said while holding up the gym set Jade picked out. You waited anxiously until Sukuna turned back around to gauge for his reaction.Â
âIâm sure itâll be fine mam-â Sukuna stopped, sucking in a breathe. He took in the black set you had selected and fought with himself to keep in the low growl threatening to come out. Taking it in, he found it hard to keep out the thoughts of how your body would look in it. The way the front would hug your tits, or the way your sweat would be cascading down into the dips of your back, or how the way it would mold around your plump ass. He closed his eyes, trying to stop himself while he was ahead, but it didnât stop the rush of blood going to his dick, making his gym shorts uncomfortably tight.Â
âSo- what do you think?â You asked timidly, you were still too wrapped up in overthinking your outfit choice you didnât catch the internal battle Sukuna was having with himself over it.Â
Trying to be nonchalant about it, he shook his head slightly while offering a small smile.Â
âI think itâs good Y/n, whatever youâre comfortable in, thatâs all that matters.â He said in a low tone. You looked at him curiously, wondering why the sudden formal change. Not trying to let it get to you, you offered a small smile back at his input.Â
âOkay, if you say so.â You replied back. There was a beat of silence between you to before you let out a giggle at how intense he was staring at you.Â
âSo you called just for me to look at you flex?â You asked, lightening the mood again. He blinked wide eyed before chuckling.
âNah ma, just making sure you donât flake on me tomorrow is all.â You sighed in relief at him going back to his nickname for you, helping quiet your nerves a little bit.Â
You smiled at him while shaking your head no.Â
âNah, Iâm locked in. I wouldnât bail on you.â You respond back. That causes him to smirk before replying back.Â
âGood, wouldnât want a good outfit like that to go to waste.â He joked back, causing you to put your head down shyly.Â
âHa, nah we wouldnât want that.â You giggled out. You looked up, catching him watching you with the same smirk etched on his face.Â
âWhat?â You asked, having him watch you the way he was, was doing something to you.Â
âNothing ma, Ima see you tomorrow, alright?â He stated while throwing his towel over his shoulder.Â
Shaking your head yes, you both said your goodbyes before hanging up the phone. Placing your outfit back across your vanity, you plopped on-top of your bed still smiling like a fool at your phone.Â
Sukuanaâs POV
He groaned lowly as he placed his hands around his dick, slowly stroking it up and down. He tried desperately to get the thought of you out of his head as he took his shower, but nothing he did was working. Every time he tried to think of something else, his thoughts always came back to you.Â
Drawing in a breath, he threw his head back as the water from the shower head caressed his skin and helped lubricate his motions as he picked up pace. Flashes of you entered his mind. Seeing how you would look in the gym outfit you flashed in-front him not to long ago or the way he imaged how you plush, thick lips would feel wrapped around his dick, or how well your pussy would mold around his dick as he thrusted relentlessly into your velvety walls. His thoughts ran wild with all the things he would do to you and with a flick of his wrist over his swollen tip it was all that it took to send him over the edge.Â
âY/n.â He moaned out, forgetting his surroundings but ultimately not caring if anyone heard. He continued with his lights strokes, watching as ropes of cum shot down the shower drain.Â
âShit.â He cursed under his breath as he tried to regulate his breathing back to normal. He could only hope he doesnât act this way around you tomorrow or he wasnât sure how things would end.Â
Before he could stop himself, thoughts of you came rushing at him again and he silently cursed at himself as he felt his dick harden again. Knowing it wouldnât go away on itâs own, he began to slowly stroke himself again to ease the relief.Â
You were going to be the death of him.Â
Š 2024 Amyrahrose. Please do not translate, copy, plagiarize, or repost (sharing links is fine đ¤) without my permission. You will only find my entries/content on tumblr!
#jjk smut#jjk x reader#fanfic#jjk x black reader#anime fanfic#sukuna smut#sukuna x reader#jjk x reader smut#jjk x poc!reader#jjk x you#sukuna x black reader#sukuna#anime smut#amyrahrosestories
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Long Distance (LN4)
Summary: Long distance relationships are hard, especially when they both have very time consuming careers
Warnings; Angst (a whole lot), no happy ending in this part (will happen in pt 2)
Request: hi!! requesting a lando norris x female uni!reader if possible reader being a medical student or a one of the engineers on the paddock đ§đťââď¸
Lando wasnât known for being the smartest on the grid. He, like many other drivers, had only a few years of school to his name. But that still hadnât stopped him from being able to somehow âwooâ a woman quite the opposite.Â
His girlfriend was currently in her last year of medical school. While he was unbelievably proud of how far she had come, the difficulties of long distance have gotten to both of them, and there wasnât much hope once she graduated and was off to a medical training program. With her studying for finals and Lando being off to a new country every two weeks for Grand Prixs, their relationship has been rocky to say the least.
Constant lack of communication and missing each other's calls had led them to have tons of unspoken dialogue. Each unanswered call created the smallest bit of resentment that just continued to grow and grow.Â
No more sweet âgoodmorningâ or âgoodnightâ texts, no more wishing her well before a big test, no more sending âgood luck baby!â before qualifying. Just a few âhow are you doing?â and other bland messages youâd send to a coworker, not your significant other.Â
After weeks of little communication, they had finally scheduled a âzoom dateâ. Not particularly the most romantic date they had been on, but it's the best they could do with their schedules. Lando called in late at night for him while his girlfriend had a lunch break in between labs. Time zones be damned.
Lando was 25 minutes late leaving only 35 minutes to actually talk to one another.
Her wifi was spotty so it kept freezing.
Finally, with only 5 minutes left, Lando decided to make a joke that there is no reason for her to continue going to labs, as he would be happy to be her âsugar daddyâ. This was not very well received by his girlfriend, who responded with a quick âfuck youâ and hung up early.
Lando was joking, a bit. He loved his girlfriend and saw a future with her, he just couldnât stand long distance and any job in the medical field was bound to take up most of your time. He wanted her, but he also wanted someone who could be by his side on race day. That just wasnât something that was possibly currently.Â
He supported her. He loved to brag about how smart she was and how she was so dedicated to helping people. But that came with setbacks.
After a quick message from Lando (âI was kidding darling. You know how proud I am of you. Lighten up a little, yeah?â), which she ignored, she was off to her labs in a worse mood than before. Things couldnât go on like this.Â
He hadnât heard from her in three days. His âhow are you, love?â and âMiss you lots. Hope your class is going better than my neck training :(â went unanswered. She knew she was being petty, but maybe a relationship was just too hard for her life currently.Â
After three long and stressful days of silence, she called him. With no message asking what she needed to speak about, Lando feared he already knew.
âWe canât keep doing thisâ She said after they quickly exchanged a âhi, how are you?â âI'm good, how are you?â.Â
âBaby, I told you it was just a-â
âI know that Lando! It's just that this isnât the first time you have mentioned me quitting my career to be your housewife or whatever unrealistic idea you have stuck in your head.â
âI donât need you to be a housewife! I donât want that for you. I just try to let you know that you donât need to worry about your future as much because I will always be there to help you.â
âBut I want a career! I want to work hard so I can have a good future. You need to get it into your head that your career isnât the only important one.â
âI donât think that! Me wanting to let you know that I support you no matter what isn't diminishing your career plans! It would be nice if you started to show a little more support. I am so sick and tired of all our conversations revolving around you and how your day was. If classes are rough, or you are stressed, you donât respond to me. I never know where I land with you. But god forbid I try to mention how hard my day was. I am just as sick of it.â
She didnât know how to respond. It seems that all the times she has been more focused on how she was feeling she completely forgot to check on how he was doing. Before she can even muster out an apology, Lando jumps back in.
âMaybe you are right. I donât think I can do this either. Not anymore.â He feels his stomach dropping as he says the words, not fully meaning them.
There is a long silence, moments where she wants to apologize, to try and reconcile. In that moment all of the good memories of their relationship come flashing back to her, as if her mind is begging her to do something. But she doesnât.Â
âThen I guess this is it.â She finally says.Â
âI guess so.â
Part 2 out now!
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Cod Characters General Dating Headcanons (part one)
+ Random and Some bits of Chubby Fem S/O Headcanons with mentions of different nationality S/O
+ What type of BF/GF they would be
Including John Price, Simon "Ghost" Riley, John "Soap" MacTavish, Kyle "Gaz" Garrick, Alejandro Vargas, Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3
Fem terms and pronouns like she/her are used for the reader
ęĽ HOPE YOU ENJOY! ęĽ
My rules for requests and characters I can write for
Please comment if you want to be added to the taglist, the next part or cod content alone.
Taglist: @marshmallowinamess
A/n: Hi lovelies! Lia here, I'm back after a nerve-wracking week of school. This is a bit short but I hope you enjoy it otherwise. God I fucking hate school. I wrote all of this in a cold room, a heat pad on me (because period cramps) and at 3am so any mistakes will be edited out as soon as I'm aware of it.
This is divided into a multiple part thing (I think 2-3?) because God knows I can't fit them all in one post because of the limited amount of gifs and photos. I'll add more to these in the future, some are longer than others because I can't think. Also because I can't write them all at once, that's a lot to write okay đ
Disclaimers/warnings: Typical Cod things, OOC characters???, Unrealistic, Some suggestive themes and language, I'm so sorry but English is not my first language so please don't come after me. Most of the content I've seen are on TikTok and Tumblr I don't actually play the game but I love the characters so much, same with any other content I have for other video games.
Tiny sidenote: the reader in this has been describe to be shorter than the characters and has been mentioned to have a soft body rather than the muscular type.
John Price
ęĽ (OH MY GOD LOOK AT HIS SMILEEE) (He's such a quokka)
ęĽ Price who literally is such a father figure, doesn't matter whether the relationship between you two is romantic or platonic. He often takes the dominant caring role.
ęĽ Doesn't smoke around you, doesn't matter if you insist he doesn't. He still won't and definitely will criticize you if you try or do smoke because he doesn't want you do end up like him.
ęĽ If there's a bit of an age gap between you, I'd say he's hesitant. Definitely afraid of what the rest of the task force thinks (He can't help it, they're basically his boys)
ęĽ John Price who wants to settle down with you, maybe have kids if you want but just a white picket fence life with you without the chaos that is war and his job.
ęĽ He only ever let's you have his hat, only when he gives it to you though. Most of the time it would be while you're out, he'd put it on your head from his. (Cowboy hat rule? I heard that in more respectful terms rather than sexual, it respectfully means that you are theirs)
ęĽ John Price who rests his chin at the top of your head no matter how much he needs to crouch down whenever hugging you from behind. Love doing it whenever you're busy doing something too. (Props for the effort because you cannot tell me he doesn't have back, neck and knee pains)
ęĽ Is constantly worried if you share the same line of work, like at first it was nothing but a tiny crush and slowly he finds himself caring about your well-being more and more over time.
ęĽ Can't help but think he's an acts of service type of guy, reaching up for things you need or better yet lifting you up so you can reach them and loves opening things for you like bottles or anything canned. (Girlies who get their nails done or wear press ons know this struggle ( I'm a press on girly)
ęĽ The kind of man who would turn on some oldies music and slow dance with you in the living room, your footsteps and breathing being the only other sounds as you smile at each other, foreheads against the other's.
Simon "Ghost" Riley
ęĽ Ghost who is such Doberman/Black cat boyfriend. Like have you seen this man? He's so tall and intimidating, one distasteful look from him and if it was physically possible that person would drop dead.
ęĽ Ghost whose a chubby chaser through and through, he just looks for something different from what he's used to.
ęĽ Is definitely a tits kinda guy, doesn't matter how big or how small they are. He'll definitely play with them in some way during doing the you know what.
ęĽ Feels like you can take him and his size better because of your plush body. Has a size kink and likes seeing it bulge a bit when he's inside you.
ęĽ You're just so soft and warm, he wants something away from what he usually feels doing his job. Not really that touchy but he gets quite clingy within closed doors.
ęĽ Likes to squeeze your thighs, his grip on them would not falter. Doesn't matter whether it's in a sexual or domestic way.
ęĽ Thinks you deserve better than what he can offer and needs constant reassurance, never says it out loud but you pick up on what he feels. (please be patient with him)
ęĽ More often than not, he thinks you're quite fragile. Even if you can protect yourself, one of his ways of showing you he loves you is through protecting you. Hence the Doberman boyfriend scenario.
ęĽ Doesn't like PDA but knows when it's necessary, him placing his arm around your shoulder is enough to keep perverts in their places. If that rando is really that bold then they'll most likely end up with a few broken bones depending on how pissed Simon is.
ęĽ If you work alongside him, he'd constantly worry about your well-being but at the same time is conflicted because he's confident that he can protect you.
ęĽ Only you and the TF141 can call him Simon, he still feels uneasy when he gets called that but when it's you saying it, it doesn't sound as daunting to him. Still dislikes in in certain tones of voice because his name reminds him of his past.
ęĽ You've seen his face, it took a long time but after that he trusted you enough to show him. The fact that you didn't find his face revolting and even kissed his scars while cupping his face was enough for him to want to marry you.
ęĽ Isn't fully insecure about his face but has his moments. (You know like the voice line where soap asks him to take off his mask and asked him if he was ugly and Ghost said "Negative")
ęĽ Takes a little while to get him to open up and little things like letting you hold him takes him a bit of time to get used to because it makes him feel vulnerable.
ęĽ God forbid something were to happen to you and he couldn't do anything to stop it, Simon would lose his fucking mind.
John "Soap" MacTavish
ęĽ Soap is a Golden Retriever boyfriend through and through. He's energetic, loyal and really affectionate.
ęĽ He's a lighthearted flirt at first because he doesn't wanna scare you off but damn does he gradually get bolder over time.
ęĽ Very hands on, touchy, and could be clingy at times unless you don't consent him, secretly always finding new ways to touch you.
ęĽ A sucker for cheek kisses, lips are his favorite but he can't help but break out a wide grin whenever you kiss his cheek. Can't help but feel kinda manly whenever you do.
ęĽ Adores making you laugh, no matter how stupid your sense of humor is he will absolutely say that joke if it gets a laugh out of you. Would be concerned if you had a dark sense of humor but will eventually get used to it. To describe it, hearing you laugh makes his heart feel full like in a content domestic way.
ęĽ Also, see the gif? You cannot tell me that he doesn't look at you that way because he absolutely would.
ęĽ Loves your weight against his body to the pint he's begging you to lay on him. You, him in the bed while he's shirtless with grey sweatpants on and you in your night clothes sharing each other's warmth with your head on his broad chest.
ęĽ Shows you silly and cute pet videos, especially the cat ones:
"[Name], look at this one!"
"Soap, we're not adopting a pet. Not right now at least"
ęĽ He was upset and gave you puppy eyes the whole time because the only time he had pet was when he was child, it was a hamster which was killed because it got sucked into the vacuum by his older sister.
ęĽ You're the only one allowed to tough his hair, he's very proud of his mohawk and will let you style it. Won't wear it out if you did something silly to it though.
ęĽ Soap who loves showing you off to everyone, loves light PDA but doesn't wanna potential put a target on your back.
ęĽ He definitely is the guy you want to take home to your family and friends (or found family <3), he's funny and easy to get along with. Very flirty with you but he'll straighten out because he's terrified on making a bad impression.
Kyle "Gaz" Garrick
ęĽ (HE'S SO FREAKING UNDERRATED WITHIN THIS FANDOM)
ęĽ He gives Labrador boyfriend vibes, you can't help but want to take care of him.
ęĽ Gaz who literally had to do a double take when he first saw you, he turned to Soap with that "Are you seeing what I'm seeing?" look in a good way.
ęĽ Gaz who literally had to ask you out multiple times before you said yes thinking he's only doing it for a bet or a cruel joke.
ęĽ Constant reassurance from him because he doesn't want you to feel insecure about your looks because to him you are literally an angel.
ęĽ Loves to chill with you, cuddling and just relaxing. Maybe scrolling on TikTok occasionally and show you the funny ones he chuckled at.
ęĽ He has a sixth sense whenever you crave something, say you want chocolate or drink of some sort then he'd definitely being home whatever it is you we're craving without having to ask you.
ęĽ Kyle who has your Starbucks order memorized because he likes being the one to order things for you. Will playfully argue with you on who'll pay this time. (Don't even try anymore, he always wins anyway)
ęĽ Puts his hat on your head mostly when you're out, has done it the first time because it was hot out and the sun was in your eyes. He's picked it up from Price and once you smiled at him through the shade of his cap, he has not stopped doing it.
ęĽ Definitely a words of affirmation and acts of service kind of guy when it comes to love languages. Sometimes whenever he'd give you two thumbs up and a cheeky smile, you can't help but laugh a little.
ęĽ He's very thoughtful, so much so that he prides himself in knowing you better than anyone. Everytime you two go out to eat, when he gets something and know that you'll want to taste it (he knows damn well whether you'll like it or not when he tastes it) he'll bring it upon himself to order you one before you even say you want some.
ęĽ Soft snores when he sleeps, it's cute but you know damn well he's tired. Also I think he's very cuddly, like he just likes reminding himself that he's not alone and that his bed is warm because you're in it. Therefore at minimum always has an arm around you in bed.
ęĽ Dances in the rain with you and loves it when you pull him gently on his arm while your hands are intertwined. Takes note of how the the raindrops sometimes fall on your lashes while you look up at him smiling.
ęĽ Kyle Garrick who wants nothing more in the world to see you happy and smiling. His "this is the woman I'm going to marry" moment was when you baked his favorite cake for his birthday despite it being so hard, you nailed it perfectly. (Whether it's out of luck or skill is up to you)
Alejandro Vargas
ęĽ (idk how to write for this angry Mexican man but I'll try my best, love him and his megamind hairline though <3)
ęĽ Alejandro is definitely a flirt, a very bold on at that. He's quite forward when it comes to liking someone so yeah.
ęĽ He lives for it when you boss him around. That being said, he isn't picky about body type or any of the sort.
ęĽ Will teach you Spanish if you don't know any, definitely prioritizes the curse words and laughs whenever you jokingly call him pendejo.
ęĽ Wouldn't mind you teaching him your own culture and mother tongue. Bonus points if it's similar to his.
ęĽ Has Spanish nicknames for you because I imagine his own culture is important to him.
ęĽ Would hate it if you had the same line of work but will never take it out on you, it's just that it's so dangerous given the people he's involved with. (It's definitely Valeria)
ęĽ Speaking of El Sinombre, I don't think they had anything romantic going on. It's mainly platonic and the "betrayal" sucked on Alejandro's side. They definitely had some rivalry and the tension was through the roof. (Mainly because I headcanon Valeria as Lesbian)
ęĽ Can be so romantic when he tries, you can't tell me this mf ain't a smooth talker because he definitely is. Can be very blunt like in a forward way with his affection too.
ęĽ Likes kissing your wrist and feeling your pulse against his lips because it reminds him you're alive. (The amount of angst this scenario carries would be something I'm up for to write)
ęĽ Is sent on a fit of rage when something happens to you, say you got kidnapped then this man would tears off the walls of every building if he had to.
Rodolfo "Rudy" Parra
ęĽ (ANOTHER UNDERATED CHARACTER)
ęĽ Another Golden Retriever boyfriend. This man is just loving and dotting, very husband material.
ęĽ Loves chubby women, has a soft spot for them and just likes holding them.
ęĽ He's definitely used to the insecurity that comes with the body, also doesn't get why such beauty standards are even in place. Has and would fuck the insecure out of you again if he had to. (It's in a very gentle and loving manner)
ęĽ If you hold him in your arms, he'd be absolutely living for it. He already has had a long day and being honest he hasn't had many lovers that went far so having you care in this way about him would have him wrapped around your finger.
ęĽ Worships the ground you walk on. That's it.
ęĽ Would take everything to heart whenever you teach him or mention something within your culture if you aren't of Spanish origins like he is. He just loves you so much that it makes him happy knowing more about you.
ęĽ Would adore slow dancing with you, brings him back to reality where he realizes that he has you and that you're there.
ęĽ Terrified that one day you'll end up leaving him so reassurance would be much appreciated by him.
ęĽ Definitely a sucker for receiving forehead kisses, as for giving he likes to kiss the back of your hand.
ęĽ If ever danger presents itself to you too closely, he would have a heart attack like full on crying but not in public though.
#cod x reader#task force 141 x reader#ghost x reader#soap x reader#gaz x reader#price x reader#los vaqueros x reader#alejandro vargas x reader#rudy parra x reader#cod headcanons#cod x female reader#Aethelwyne Lia writes
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now you know â sam winchester
cw : gn!awkward!reader, hurt/comfort, fluff, canon typical violence and monsters, near drowning experience, poor editing as usual, 6.8K words. part two of makes you wonder.
summary : you become more entangled in "agent" sam's case when you come across the monster he seeks. pronunciation guide (using scottish gaelic) : each-uishge â yahk-oosh-ga. [ disclaimer, i found this on the internet! iâm not scottish nor do i speak scottish gaelic, so correct me if i'm wrong ! ]
MOVED BLOGS TO @sammyluvr !! no longer active on this blog! all fics can be found there!
the bar isnât your go-to spot after work, mostly because that means you have to talk to people for some reason or another, but youâre feeling good tonight. good, and also still questioning your entire worldview so you figure itâs a good time as any to get a drink.
youâre halfway through your drink, eyes downcast and tracking the details of the tableâs wood, when a hand on the back of the chair across from you snags your attention. you look up, slightly startled by the sudden appearance of a stranger. the first thing you notice is how beautiful he is. his rich, lightly curled dark brown hair and finely sculpted features are the kind of handsome that resemble a classic greco-roman kind of beauty.
his unrealistically good looks and charming scottish accent as he asks, âwould you mind if i sit here?â almost disarm you completely before you remember that means youâll have to talk to him. plus, you have a date to schedule with your mysterious agent sam.
âwell, iâm headed home soon, so i guess thatâs alright,â you say, trying to immediately display your disinterest without flat out rejecting him. when he slides into the chair with a smile that teeters between sleezy and charming, you wish youâd just said no.
âmaybe i can change your mind,â he drawls, and you have to hold back from physically cringing. you now desperately want him to go, but donât know how to get him to politely after having made the mistake letting him sit. âlet me buy you another drink,â he offers.
you shake your head. âno, thatâsâ thatâs not really very necessary. this is enough for me,â you refuse, motioning to your half-empty glass.
âoh, come darlinâ! a free drink might not be necessary, but it surelyâs a nicety, donât ya think?â he raises a thick, neatly groomed eyebrow at you, making an unfortunately successful attempt at a handsome, flirty look.Â
for once, you hope that your smile looks just as pained and awkward as it feels. âitâs a kind offer, i just, you know, donât want another drink, so⌠thatâs okay.â
he lifts his hands a little to signal surrender. âyour loss then, love.â as he searches for some other flirty quip that might persuade you better, he runs a frustrated hand through his hair, and if you werenât paying close attention in that exact moment, you wouldâve completely missed the sprinkle of sand that falls from his hair and into his lap at the movement. you inhale sharply, suddenly afraid.
you try to sound casual when you pull a classic, âyou know, i should really get going. i have an early morning tomorrow.â gathering your stuff up into your arms, you stand and try to convince yourself that youâre seeing things and that even if there was sand in his hair, it was just a coincidence. âhave a nice night!â
then, as you spare him one last glance, he tilts his head when he bids you a flirtatious goodbye. âhope to see you here again,â he grins and a few more grains of sand fall to his shoulder, itâs light color stark against the dark fabric of his button up shirt. you try to stay unreadable, but your gaze follows the sand as it falls and his eyes follow yours to his shoulder. he brushes the dirt off and a dangerous look crosses his face. quite frankly, the look terrifies you, so you donât waste a second to spin on your heel and rush out of the building towards your parked car.
the moment your back is turned, youâre digging around your bag until you find samâs business card. with shaky hands and hurried feet, you punch the phone number into your phone and hold it to your ear, silently begging for him to pick up as you exit the building and the cool air of the night hits you.
âhello?â comes the newly familiar voice of sam through the phone speaker.
âsam! hi, itâs me, from the museum. you know, earlier today,â you think your voice may have come out a little panicked.
âyeah, yeah, of course,â he answers, voice please at first, then turning more serious, âgood to hear from you, is everything alright? itâs sort of late.â he seems to have picked up on the scared edge to your voice.Â
âi, um, god, iâm about to sound a little bit insane, but iâm just gonna say it. are you a real fbi agent? if yes, thatâs great and iâm probably just really paranoid and making things up, if not, can i say something sort of crazy because i think that you might actually believe me? you know, if youâre, uhâ not actually an fbi agent who thinks that totally normal reasons can explain those deaths youâre investigating?â you ramble, stumbling awkwardly through your words and feeling like a complete fool. thereâs a moment of silence where you curse the fact that you had to park so far away, because you just want to be safely tucked into your car and headed home. the thought that sam thinks youâre totally off your rocker crosses your mind.
but samâs sigh on the other line sounds almost relieved, and he answers. âiâm notâ not an fbi agent. and trust me, whatever you could say that you might think is crazy, is probably nothing compared to some of the shit iâve seen, so you can say whatever it is. i promise i wonât think youâre crazy.â
âokay,â you say breathlessly as your vague suspicions are confirmed. then you let it just tumble from your lips. âi think that the each-uisge is real and that i just met it andââ you cut yourself off when you hear something behind you. youâve been so focused on sam that you havenât been paying enough attention to anything else, and when you whip your head around, you see the man from the bar following you from a bit of a distance. you draw in a sharp breath of fear.
âshit,â sam curses, âwhere? you gotta get away from it, meet me at theâ,â he instructs quickly.
you cut him off, real panic entering your voice as you pick up your speed, almost at a run. âfuck, sam, heâs coming for me, i thinkâ iâ i donât know. but he had sand in his hair and he saw me looking at it and heâs following me and iâm almost to my car,â you ramble, glancing over your shoulder. the man is closer than before, heâs clearly picked up his own pace as well. âbut heâs getting closer and i donât have any iron or silver or anything and iââ
âhey, hey, listen to me. run as fast as you can to your car. youâre gonna be okay.â samâs calm and level headedness are helpful, and immediately, you begin to sprint. but with a glance backwards, you see the thing gaining on you with unnatural speed. âdrive anywhere and iâll track your phone, iâm already on my way to come get you, okay? youâre gonna be fine.âÂ
you donât realize youâre crying until you choke on your tears when you try to speak. âsam iâ i donât think i can make it, heâs too fast. the lake isnât far from here, just head there, iââ you scream when an unnaturally strong hand clamps around your wrist.
you hear sam shout your name as youâre whirled around to face the creepy man from the bar. you try to pull away, but his skin is like adhesive, literally. you can feel your skin sticking to his like thereâs super glue leaking from his pores.
âsam, please,â you sob out before the phone is ripped out of your hand and tossed aside. the man, or creature, or whatever bares his teeth in your face.
âitâs too late, sweetheart. all that hunterâs gonna find of you is your liver in the water. but you already know that, donât you? hmm? howâd you know what i am?â he snarls, tugging you closer to him and smirking.
you donât answer, just growl in frustration and struggle helplessly against him. âlet me go!â you demand through tears.
ââfraid thatâs not an option, lass.â he smirks, then heâs yanking you behind him, pressing you into his back and in horror, you realize that his shape is changing right against you until youâre stuck to the back of a tall, dark horse, high above the ground. you let out a strangled scream and desperately struggle to get off. but, just as the folklore tells it, his sleek coat is impossibly sticky, as the lake must be close enough for him to smell its waters.
the horse leaps into a gallop, and another yelp is pulled from your lips from the speed he takes off at. panic rips through you and you grip the hair of the horseâs mane to keep your upper body from being yanked backwards. in a small moment of clear thinking, you keep your other hand from touching the horse. indeed, even his mane is adhesive, and youâre now stuck with just a single free hand.Â
the streets and buildings are a complete blur to you with the combination of such speed and the tears in your eyes. all you can tell is when the town fades into the forest, and youâre being torn at by harsh, unforgiving tree branches. at this point, you know that begging or screaming is useless. so, you let tears be ripped from your eyes and pulled into the air by the wind rippling past you, and silently beg to whatever entity may be listening that sam gets to you on time.
suddenly, youâve torn past the trees and straight into the shallow waters of the lake, and your hope fades. in seconds, your feet dip into the cold shock of water, and you think of how you never imagined your life would end this way. mostly because you didnât think that shape-shifting killer horse-men were real, but here you are.
as your helplessness increases, you remember the silver necklace around your neck. itâs small, mostly likely inconsequential, but you still yank it off of your neck and press it against the neck of the large animal. it rears up, whinnying in pain, and you wouldâve fallen and likely cracked your head open if you werenât stuck to the creatureâs back.
the silver clearly burns, but itâs too small to keep the large creature from completing its mission. itâs hungry.Â
as your knees dip under the cold water, you hear the rumble of an old engine, then glance back just in time to see a tall, broad silhouette against the carâs bright headlights, running towards you as your waist, then chest are pulled under.Â
itâs sam, and he yells your name as he splashes into the dark water. you choke out his name, then gulp in a full breath as the water reaches your chin, then swallows you up whole. itâs coldest against your head, suffocating and heavy and horrifying.
you donât stop struggling when youâre submerged, hoping maybe the adhesive wears up under water. of course, youâre not so lucky, but your struggle seems to slow down the horse as it dives deeper into the water. thereâs a long, torturous moment that passes where youâre positive that sam will be too late; your lungs already burn and you donât think itâll take too long for you to be drowned and eaten by something that probably shouldnât exist.
but, your hopelessness is interrupted when the dulled light of his flashlight hits you, just as it begins to flicker and fail from being under water. then, his long arm is reaching out, grabbing hold of the horses mane to tug himself closer. the horse attempts to kick him away, but sam is able to sink a long dagger blade into the horseâs neck. a shudder passes through the monster, then it stills, and your immediately begin to float away from it. itâs magical properties fail as it dies, dark blood oozing out into the water.Â
in a haze, you notice the water tainted with blood is warmer. itâs darkness and the way it seeps through the water reminds you of the ink of a squid. in a split second, samâs strong arm wraps around your waist as his flashlight dies and the darkness in your vision isnât just from the loss of light, but the loss of consciousness too.Â
you do your best to cling to your awareness and samâs broad shoulders, but you go limp in his arms just a few heavy moments before he breaks the surface, gasping and struggling a bit from holding both you and the dagger.
dean is right there to help sam, knee deep in the water. he quickly takes a hold of you and carries you to the edge of the water where he lays you down on your back. sam drops to his knees right beside you, and immediately, his hands are cupping your face, one hand slapping your cheek gently to see if youâll wake up on your own before he starts cpr.
deanâs about to shove sam out of the way to do it himself, given that heâs far less exhausted, when your eyes fly open and you cough violently, your lungs doing their best to expel the unwelcome water from your lungs.Â
even soaked in cold water, samâs hands are still steady as he turns you to your side and pats your back to be sure that you donât choke. you canât really make out what heâs saying, but his voice is comforting as you gasp and sputter, your hands grasping at his for something solid to take hold of.Â
âitâs okay, itâs okay. youâre safe now, i got you.â sam reassures, voice soft and steady. he pulls you up and into his chest as your coughing becomes less laden with lake water and more so with tears. it crosses your mind that you hate to be seen so uncomposed and vulnerable, choking a little on your own sobs, shaking from cold and residual fear, and sort of unable to speak after your whole entire view of the world has been grabbed hold of by some other force and tilted to a whole new angle. but you let sam hold you anyways; his broad frame, large set of hands, and hushed voice are so grounding that you wouldnât dare move away.
youâre vaguely aware of someone else shrugging a warm, dry jacket over your shoulders, and sam is quick to readjust and pull it tight around you. and with that, your head tucked into his neck and your arms wrapped around his middle, you finally begin to calm down. your breathing evens to match the pace of his hand rubbing up and down your back and you shudder against him one last time before you shift to put a palm on the ground and take responsibility for some of your own body weight. youâre still leaning against him, because youâre not sure you could hold yourself up on your own, but you want it to be known that youâre regaining your composure.
the first words that you mean to say to sam are thank you, but the moment you open your mouth, you catch sight of something glinting in the moonlight just a foot or two away. so instead of the gratitude you mean to express, the words, âis that my dirk?â tumble out of your mouth before you can stop them. sam winces guiltily underneath you and in an instant, youâre stumbling to correct yourself.
âoh god, thatâs not what i meant to say, iâm so sorry. that is so horribly ungrateful of me,â your voice shakes from the chattering of your teeth as you look at him with total regret. âi was trying to say âthank youâ and i got distracted and i said that instead, but i didnât mean it that way, i was just⌠confused.â you donât even catch the way that sam smiles at you, all soft and endeared.Â
and in reality, you are worried about the state of your priceless knife. you truly mean that youâre sorry for saying that instead of thank you first, but you still scramble away from sam in order to get the knife in your own hands.
the blade has mostly been washed up by the waters of the lake, but thereâs residue of a dark, sticky substance that makes you cringe. but, with a sigh of relief, you realize that thereâs no further damage to the artifact and carefully clean it with the still dripping wet fabric of your shirt.
behind you, someoneâs laughing and itâs not sam. you finally fully register the presence of another person. you look up to see another man, pretty like sam, but with an amused smirk on his features.
âsorry,â you mumble sheepishly. âthank you, both of you. for, you know, saving my sorry ass.â
âof course,â comes samâs sincere voice, âiâm just glad we got here in time. iâm sorry this happened. and for stealing your dirk.â you look over at him with an embarrassed, shaky smile. he points to the other man with his chin and you return your gaze to him. âthatâs my brother, dean.â dean holds up his hand in a sort of greeting and you nod back.
âletâs get you two dried off,â dean says, voice still a little amused. âwhere can we drop you?â he asks kindly, stepping towards you and holding out a hand to help you up. you take his hand, still dripping the dagger in your other, and he hoists you up. as youâre still finding your footing, you feel sam by your side, then his big hand on the small of your back keeping you steady.
âthanks,â you murmur to the both of them. sam smiles at you, and dean lets your hand go, knowing that sam will be plenty pleased and anxious to be the one to lead you to the car. he managed to annoy sam into admitting that he asked you out on a date within minutes after he got back to the motel from the museum. sam had been trying not to be too smiley. he absolutely had been all smiley.
now, samâs not smiling. heâs worried and completely guilt-ridden because heâs managed to see the sweet, awkward, and at ease you, and then a version of you thatâs limp in his arms. as he ushers your shaking form into the back of the impala, he wonders if he should call it off. tell you he canât make it to a date, that thereâs a new case and he has to leave right away. not call you back. itâs nowhere near his fault that the each-uisge got to you, and yet, he knows that proximity to him means danger. thatâs the last thing that he wants for you, even if he thinks he might want you.
and yet, you shiver and gingerly clutch onto your 16th century scottish dirk in the back seat of his brotherâs car and when he glances back at you, you have the audacity to send him an adorable, lopsided little smile. youâve just found out that monsters are real and nearly drowned at oneâs hands and you have the audacity to smile at him? smile at him like youâre just fine when youâre so cold he can see you shivering through the rearview mirror and he feels like itâs his fault? and you look like you feel awkward, like you think smiling at him is the most normal thing you can think to do, and it makes him like you very much.
youâre irresistible, and heâd really like to be able to resist you, for your own sake.
âso,â when you start to speak, your voice trembles a little, just because of the way your teeth chatter. samâs cold too, but it seems to be affecting you more. âhot, homicidal horse-man shapeshifters from scottish folklore are real,â you state, sounding an odd mix of afraid, confused, and very curious. you lean forward and lean against the seats in front of you. âis there⌠more?â
sam turns his head to look at you, his face full of regret. âyeah,â he says, sighing. âpretty much anything supernatural you can think of. from werewolves, vampires, and ghosts to djinn, each-uisge.â
âoh,â you ponder, âthatâs⌠insane,â you settle on. sam nods in agreement.
dean lets out a huff of laughter. âyou got that right. sounds like youâre handling it pretty okay, though,â he commends you.
you shrug, then admit, âiâm actually⌠trying not to be excited right now because i almost just died from that shit, but⌠itâsâ sort of, kind of, just a little bit cool to me. to know that itâs all real, not that thereâs dangerous creatures out there killing people. very not cool,â you nod at your own words awkwardly, trying to be honest about how you feel without sounding insensitive. âand you two⌠what? go around and save people from them?â you ask, tilting your head to the side curiously.
âyep,â dean chimes, âweâre hunters. we find monsters and gank âem for a living. not that it pays.â
âhuh. hunters⌠that must⌠suck,â you conclude, then try to backtrack, ânotâ not that iâm saying itâs not important orâ or that your lives suck, orâ or⌠yeah.â
âno, no, itâs okay,â sam assures you, âit kind of does suck. a lot, sometimes, but we⌠we help people, and itâs worth it.â he wants you to think it sucks. he wants you to hate it and he wants you to think itâs too dangerous and awful that you donât even want to be associated with him. and at the same time, he wants you to think that he helps, that he thinks itâs worth it because he canât lie about that either. and he already knows, from the way youâre taking things, you wonât think of it as any reason not to be at least alright with him. god, samâs got no idea what the hell to think, or what the hell to want.
âyeah,â you nod, âyeah, thatâsâ thatâs good of you two.â you sort of wondered before if all this might change how you feel about going on a date with sam. when you think about it now, it doesnât. it doesnât change a thing. you still think heâs delightful. âso⌠where are you two staying? the bed and breakfast?â
âuh, no, weâre staying in the motel just outta town,â sam answers.
âin that shithole?â you raise your eyebrows skeptically. âgosh, i hear thereâs never any hot water.â
âdamn straight,â confirms dean with a humorless chuckle. âbut weâve had worse. at least this the water gets lukewarm.â sam shoots dean a look that neither of you catch, and the next words that you say are the reason for it.
âwell, you two should come shower in my apartment, then,â you donât seem to realize thatâs a little bit suggestive, but neither could care less. itâs clearly just a kind offer. âitâs always hot and the water pressure is pretty much perfect. and sam, if youâre anywhere near as cold as i am, you definitely need a hot shower.â
âno, no, we shouldnât,â sam refutes, voice kind and regretful in a way he hadnât meant to show. âwe donât want to intrude after all the shit from tonight.â
you swallow, wondering if you can convince him to stay without admitting that youâre still scared. but you figure that might be the only way. after saving your life he seems to feel guilty, and you canât understand why. âyou wouldnât be intruding, i promise. you⌠you really need a hot shower.â
âiâll be alright,â he assures you, adding, âiâve had much worse,â for good measure. he needs you to know that itâs dangerous to know him.
you sigh and sit back, leaning into the leather seat. âwould you⌠would you mind, you know, staying with me a little longer?â you let a little bit of vulnerability seep into your voice; you donât want to say the words iâm still scared, but you do want to give sam a reason to stay that heâll actually take.
he glances back at you, and itâs too dark to see the look on his face; still guilty, but soft, warm, and understanding.
âno, no, i wouldnât mind,â he says, voice extra gentle. you let out a relieved breath, glad that he understood your message. the rest of the car ride is quiet aside from your instructions guiding dean to your apartment. he pulls to the side of the road in front of your building. sam gets out first, opening your door for you and hovering his big palm over your head as you step out of the small car. you thank him quietly with a soft smile. he heads to the trunk to grab a spare change of dry clothes and you pull the big brown leather jacket off of your shoulders. you assume it to be deanâs, so you open the passengerâs side door and hand it to him.
âthank you, dean. you, um, if you want, youâre welcome to take a hot shower here, too,â you offer, noting the way he doesnât actually park the car or step out himself.Â
âthatâs alright, sweetheart,â he grins, âiâll leave you and sammy alone.â his tone is definitely suggestive, and he winks at you. you sputter for a second, then clear your throat awkwardly.
âi, um, sure! sounds good,â you squeak out, quickly retreating from the car and shutting the door. itâs very quiet, but you think you hear dean laughing a little. you try not to look completely embarrassed when sam approaches you.
âdean say heâs not coming?â he asks.Â
you shake your head. âuh, n-no he said heâs fine.â
sam raises his eyebrows, but doesnât say anything about the way you seem much more flustered than you were just moments ago. heâs sure than dean made some inappropriate comment, and heâll apologize for it later.Â
âhe say heâd wait here?â he asks instead. the last thing he wants is for dean to have inadvertently invited sam over for the night.
âum, no, i-i figured that heâd- that youâdâŚâ you swallow thickly, unsure how to proceed. then dean shifts the car into drive and begins to pull back into the street.
âdean, wait!â sam calls after him, certainly loud enough to hear. sam is ignored, and the gorgeous black car just rumbles down the street. âgod, iâm sorry about him. iâll call him to pick me up.â he looks at you apologetically but you shake your head.
âno, no, itâs okay! i sort of thought that you⌠you know, might⌠stay over? only if youâre okay with that, i- itâs okay if you want him to pick you obviously, but⌠my couch is free and comfortable. probably better than the shitty motel mattresses.â you look at him, eyes both kind and unsure, and he finally remembers that youâre still shivering, even more without deanâs jacket pulled over your shoulders.
âi⌠if youâre sure. letâs just get inside for now,â he urges, hovering his hand over your shoulder blade as you both turn and walk into the building. you lead the way to your apartment, quiet and soft in your movements. somehow, sam is softer.
inside, he insists that you donât worry about him, that you head right into the shower because youâre still shivering and itâs got him really quite worried. but you resist, first grabbing him a dry towel and a big fluffy blanket to warm himself up with while he waits in the living room. you tell him where the mugs and the tea can be found, and that the kettle should boil filtered water only.Â
âyou should make yourself a hot cup of tea,â you say, and tell him that the decaffeinated green genmaicha is your favorite for this time of night if heâd like to make one for you too. sure that heâd feel unuseful just sitting on the couch, you give him something to do.
when you step into the shower, you expect to be soothed. you expect your shoulders to relax and your limbs to stop shuddering and your teeth to quit chattering. itâs true that the bone deep chill begins to fade, and you stop fearing hypothermia. but you are not near soothed or relaxed. itâs not horrible because of the heat, the light, and the familiar surroundings. but the water on your skin is not as welcome as youâd wished. itâs not cold enough or suffocating enough to pull you back down into the lake with the sticky flesh-eating horse, but itâs not pleasant at all.Â
you wash up quickly, then step out, dry off, and get dressed even quicker. you cover yourself in the sort of clothing fit for the middle of winter when youâve been snowed in. fleece pajama pants, a cotton, crew neck long-sleeved shirt, and a sweatshirt to top it all off with. you donât forget thick socks or the fuzzy blanket from your bed.
you find sam in your living room, a cup of tea on the coffee table and another in his hands as he stands with the green towel you gave him before wrapped over his shoulders.
âwhy arenât you sitting?â you ask, perturbed by the idea that heâs been standing this whole time.
âi⌠didnât want to get your furniture wet,â he explains, almost sheepishly. you shake your head at him, half amused by the lengths he goes to be gentlemanly.Â
âthatâs sweet, but unnecessary. i wouldnât have minded,â you say softly. âanyway, the showerâs all yours. take as long as you like.â
he sets his mug down and gathers up his change of clothes before heading towards the bathroom.
âand thereâs a fresh towel on the counter! donât use that green one,â you call after him lightly, wanting to be sure he wonât reuse the already damp one.
âokay,â he calls back, and heâs turned away so you donât see the soft smile on his lips. you settle into one end of your couch, curled up with the blanket wrapped tight around your body for warmth and comfort. no matter how much you wish you werenât, youâre still shaken from everything, especially after the feeling of water on your skin again. you reach for the mug on the table, itâs ceramic material warm on your hands, but no longer too hot to hold. itâs a soothing feeling, along with the hot, earthy tea that slides down your throat and into your stomach when you take a long drag of the drink.
all you do is sit there, drinking tea and wondering when sam will be done. you told him to take as long he wanted, but the sight of him is comforting, and you hope heâs done soon.
he looks refreshed and relaxed when he emerges from the bathroom. he sits in the chair across from you with a grateful smile.
âthank you,â he says, voice quite lovely and sincere, âitâs been a while since iâve had such a nice shower.â to you, he wasnât gone too long, but for him, it was special and an absolute privilege to have a hot shower last that long. and your bathroom isnât that nice by any stretch, but it certainly beats anything he can find in a motel. itâs homier, warmer, and familiar only because it suits you. honestly, he had trouble getting the courage to turn off the shower head; it was just too pleasant. but he didnât want to wrack up your water bill, so he gave himself an extra minute before stepping out and getting redressed.
and now youâre telling him about how easy of a favor it was, and that heâs welcome to that sort of thing anytime. heâs so unsure of how to proceed, so conflicted, that youâre the one to bring it up.Â
âso⌠are you still, yâknow, um, interested? in going out to lunch, that is,â you ask hopefully, clumsily.
oh god. he doesnât think he has the strength to say no, to disappoint you, to ruin this chance with you. but itâs dangerous for you and thatâs the last thing he wants. yet, heâs not sure he could ever bear the face you might make if he makes some lame excuse to blow you off. and it would all be a total lie. he is interested, maybe more than just that. he goddamn wants it.Â
âi am. of course i am.â heâs more relieved than scared when he says that, so he feels like it must be right. and he hates the idea that youâd even doubt his interest in you. if anyone has the right to be second guessing a date, itâs you. heâs honestly a little surprised youâd still want this. surprised, and beyond flattered. âi⌠donât know how long iâll be in town, but iâll of course be here tomorrow, if thatâs okay with you.â
you grin widely. âyeah, yeah thatâs perfect.â your expression shifts and you look at him carefully. âand⌠after that? i donât mean to jump ahead or anything and i⌠i know youâll be⌠traveling, but it sort of seems like sometimes, you know, maybe, i could possibly⌠help you out? if you ever need information on weapons and lore and that sort of thing⌠you could, y'know, call me? i⌠iâd love to help, at the very least.â hopeful and clumsy. that seems to be the theme of the night for your words.Â
samâs gaze, no, his whole form softens. he loves the way you talk and he finds it sort of crazy that heâs met you only this afternoon. for a moment he thinks heâs surprised by your offer to help, but when he considers it for a moment, heâs really not. it fits you; your warmth, kindness, passion, and intelligence. heâs still scared about involving you with him at all, even more scared about involving you in hunting directly, even if you just help with information.Â
yet somehow, your offer eases him. itâs a thought youâve had all on your own, something you say youâd actually like to be able to do. he supposes he should just be honest with you.
 âiâll call you. not just for help,â he begins, nodding to assure you that he wants that, and more. heâs so torn. torn between caving and just diving into this chance that he has or walking away and most likely saving you a whole lot of grief. and yet, it absolutely wouldnât be fair to not give you a choice, so thatâs exactly what heâll do. âbut⌠you⌠are you sure about this?â he asks with a heavy sigh, eyes careful and sincere as he examines your expression, your curled up form indicating you might still be feeling shaken.
âitâs not pleasant. people die,â he says, frank, but still gentle in tone. âdean and i, we could die. and you being involved⌠it makes things dangerous for you. even if youâre not out there, physically in the fight, it⌠itâs dangerous to be associated with us. with me. i donât want that for you, but i⌠i would like to get to know you better, i know that much. and i know that itâs your choice, not mine. if helping is what you really want to do⌠iâm sure that you could save lives. we⌠could use your help. just⌠you can back out at any time. you can back out right now, if thatâs what you want.â
heâs grateful that you really take a long moment to consider what he says. your eyes roam over his face, taking in the details of his expression, his sincerity, all of the changes in tone that you can pick up on. you think about it, you really do.
âletâs get to know each other,â you decide, voice soft. as you go on, you sound both unsure, like youâre still finding your footing, and determined, like youâre sure youâll be steady eventually. âiâd really like that⌠as for the rest⌠for the monsters and all that, i⌠iâd still like to help. or at least try. if⌠if itâs too much, or feels dangerous, then i can⌠i can figure out what to do then. but if i could help save lives? i⌠i canât just ignore that. i donât want to ignore that. i do really appreciate that you're, you know, worried about my safety, itâ itâs very sweet, i justâ i know that i want this.â you say the last bit definitively, like youâve been building up to it, convincing yourself of it and now you really believe it.Â
samâs relieved. he shouldnât be, but he is. he wanted that answer, no matter his worries. he nods simply, giving you a soft smile. âokay. thank you.â
you smile back, thinking itâs sweet that he thanks you for offering your help, and maybe for something else too.
âmy, uh, my lunch break is only half an hour,â you state, shifting the conversation just a little bit. âand iâ i get if youâre tired, but we could⌠start now. you know, the getting to know each other part,â you offer, voice a little quiet and unsure again. youâre a bit clumsy and awkward when it comes to⌠well, most everything, but especially this sort of thing. youâre not even sure exactly what this is supposed to be. flirting? dating? or maybe itâs just as simple as that; getting to know each other. samâs not perfect at this either, but he can certainly step into the more confident role for you. he wants you to feel at ease.
âyeah,â he says softly. âiâm not too tired. i donât want to keep you up late, though. tonight was⌠tiring, iâm sure, and you have work in the morning.â
goodness, heâs so caring and considerate that it almost hurts. you fight back a yawn, trying not to prove his point as you think about waking to your alarm clock tomorrow morning. you donât want to go to bed yet, and you donât want to miss out on whatever time you have to talk with him.
âwell⌠maybe i can call off. even just for the morning. iâve got plenty of paid time off saved up,â you suggest, glad for this idea. youâre positive that you deserve to miss a little bit of work after what you just went through.
if you were offering just for him, sam would shake his head, insist that you donât have to. but he considers that not having to worry about work in the morning and being able to sleep in would likely be very good for you.Â
âif thatâs what you want, it makes sense,â he says, smiling softly.
âokay,â you smile back, âiâll email my boss, itâll only take a minute. sheâll see it in the morning.â your computerâs in your room, so you leave sam to his own devices for just a moment. in the hallway on the way back, you speak up so he can hear you as you approach. âwould you like to watch a movie? you might be right that iâm a little too tired to stay up talking, but i⌠donât quite want to go to bed.â your voice quiets once youâre back in the small living room. frankly, the idea of being alone in your room, of laying down with nothing to do but think or sleep, frightens you.
his face softens like he can read your fear. âthat sounds perfect to me.â you relax at his constant sweetness and subtle encouragements.Â
âperfect,â you smile. âyouâll⌠have to get up so i can move that chair out of the way. you can sit on the couch, though.â he stands and moves the chair away from the tv for you, then sits on the other end of the couch. you snuggle into your own corner after picking a dvd. turns out that sam has seen and loves your favorite movie.Â
turns out that heâs also a little too respectful and careful to get very close to you as you watch, but he doesnât mind when you grow sleepy and stretch your legs a little more over the cushions. you donât ask; youâre a little embarrassed, so he tells you itâs alright if you rest your feet against his thigh. and he doesnât know where to put his hand after that, so you tell him that he can rest it on your calf. he does, and just that is infinitely comforting.
and turns out that, halfway through the movie, when you fall into a soft, quiet sleep, the only thing that samâs worried about anymore is if he should let you just sleep there or carry you to your own bed. he doesnât care if he has to sleep curled up in the corner of the couch or that chair or on the goddamn floor; he just doesnât want to wake you.
#sam winchester x reader#sam x reader#sam winchester x gn!reader#sam winchester x you#sam winchester#supernatural hurt/comfort#sam winchester fanfiction#sam winchester fluff#sam winchester headcanon#supernatural angst#sam winchester fic#sam winchester angst#supernatural fanfiction#sam winchester hurt/comfort#sam winchester oneshot#spn fanfiction#supernatural oneshot#sam winchester imagine#supernatural sam winchester#spn sam winchester#supernatural#supernatural requests#supernatural fluff#sam winchester supernatural#supernatural x reader#spn fanfic
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hit me with your best shot
romance writer regulus & hitman james - 4.4k, referenced sexual content + deeply unserious but hopefully fun!
for @arsonfaerie <3 happy birthday, maggie!
Regulus Black loves romance. He loves reading it and he loves writing it and he would probably love experiencing it too. Unfortunately, that last one hasn't happened yet, but for now he's happy just imagining.
He likes the escape romance books provide. To retreat, even for a few hours, somewhere warm and safe. To provide that for other people.
Except, some people don't seem to appreciate his approach. He scrolls through Goodreads reviews with mounting horror and a sinking feeling. Dorcas, his literary agent, always tells him to pay it no mind, but Regulus can't help it. He minds a great deal.
He taps on a one-star review. Most reviews rate the book quite high, but the low ratings still sting.
"Stop that," Barty says, waving a fry in front of Regulus' face to get his attention.
"Stop what," Regulus replies flatly, eyes trained on the words unrealistic and unimaginative. A reviewer by the name of magswrite claims that "Regulus Black wouldn't know romance if it hit him in the face. And at this point, I think it should hit him in the face for the great disservice he does to the genre at large."
There's more, but before Regulus has the chance to read it and weep, Barty snatches his phone out of his hands. "Enough," he says, leaving no room for argument.
"Give it back." Regulus swipes for his phone but Barty manages to hold it out of reach, dropping it next to him on the red vinyl booth.
"Not until you get a fucking grip."
"They say I don't know a thing about romance," Regulus whines petulantly. He slumps in his seat and snatches a fry from Barty's plate, munching on it with a pout. "Just because I'm not the most experienced, doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about."
He grabs another fry, somewhat aggressive dipping it in the mayonnaise. He bites it in half and hovers the fry over the sauce again. "Can I double dip?" he asks.
Barty shoots him a dry look. "Regulus, I've licked your asshole. Yes, you can double dip in the fucking mayonnaise."
"So crass," Regulus sighs as he covers the rest of the fry in mayonnaise.
Regulus has never dated, but he's not completely inexperienced. Barty was happy to be his first and second and third and, well, they kind of lost count at some point. But they decided early on it wouldn't be more. Couldn't be more.
That's fine with Regulus. He's never been particularly interested in dating. That's not to say he's not interested in a relationship, but it's just that the prerequisite steps to get into one never quite worked out for him.
People don't like Regulus. He's too uptight, too closed off, and too hard to read. Never mind the fact that he writes books for a living.
Regulus is somewhat of a fortress. Except, there are no walls to be scaled or broken down. The only way to get inside, to get to know Regulus, is to be patient enough to be handed a key.
Only a few people have one of those keys. Barty, for one. Dorcas, his literary agent and friend, has another. His brother had one, but he left. Took the key with him. Regulus went to great lengths to change the locks.
"Hey." Barty nudges his foot under the table. He studies Regulus for a moment, always a little too observant for his own good. As if reading his mind, he says, "Maybe it's worth another try. Just put yourself out there, you'd be surprised what you'll find."
LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO TAKE ME OUT
>> jfp_: Hey, I saw youâre looking for someone to take you out?
>> jfp_: Iâm James, by the way.
>> rab_: Hi James! Yes! I just think it would be good for meâŚ
>> jfp_: How do you want to go?
>>rab_: Do you mean where?
>>jfp_: Sure, that too.
>>rab_: I think dinner seems like a good place to start.
>>rab_: But if we want to be a little adventurous, Iâve always wanted to go skydivingâŚ
>> jfp_: I can work with that. Friday, 7PM?
>>rab_: Itâs a date!
He'd called Barty in a panic because what does one wear to a first date?
Sure, Regulus has written plenty of dates but he's never thought about what his characters are wearing. Which features they want to accentuate or hide. Which colors match their eyes and which ones wash them out.
Hess on his third outfit of the day and poses awkwardly in front of Barty, who simply shakes his head and sends him back to his closet to change.
"And where did you say you found this guy?" Barty asks as he sucks noisily on a lollipop.
"I didn't say.â Regulusâ voice is muffled as he rummages through his closet. He has an emerald green silk button-down, but he's worried that might be a bit much for a first date. He pops his head out to tell Barty, âCraigslist."
Barty's head whips towards Regulus so fast he worries he pulled something in his neck. "I'm sorry, what?" Barty manages, voice strained.
"I put up an ad on Craigslist."
"Why on God's green earth would you look for a date on Craigslist?"
"Why are you saying it like that?"
"Because it's Craigslist! Oh my God.â Barty squeezes his eyes shut like he's suddenly plagued with torturous visions. âHe's probably a pervert. Or a serial killer."
"Well, what else was I supposed to do?"
"Use a dating app! Ask your friends to set you up! Go to a Barnes & Noble and look confused in the History section! Ask the barista out! Literally anything but putting up an ad on Craigslist!"
Regulus genuinely doesn't know how none of these things occurred to him. He's a romance writer, he can write a meet-cute in his sleep.
He's aware of the existence of dating apps, he's aware of the fact that his barista always doodles a little heart next to his name when he orders a drink to go, and he's probably not even above looking confused in a bookstore in the hopes that someone will approach him.
But still, knowing things in theory and doing them in practice are wildly different. It's the main reason he's even going on a date in the first place.
"How was I supposed to know?" He cries out, head in his hands.
"Common sense!â
Regulus whirls toward Barty, pointing an accusatory finger in his face. "Don't talk to me about common sense, Mr. Public Indecency Charges!"
"Those are actually more common than you'd think."
"Barty! What do I do?"
Barty heaves a deep, long-suffering sigh and pushes himself out of Regulus' desk chair. He takes a few steps towards Regulus, who thinks he might get an encouraging speech, something touching and inspiring and world changing.
But it's Barty, so he says, "Bring pepperspray," as he flops down on Regulus' bed. Regulus wrinkles his nose.
"Get off my bed. You're in your outside clothes."
"Why does that matter? It's not like you minded when Rosie and I fucked on your bed."
"You did what?â Regulus asks, incredulous. âWhen? Why? Is this some sort of psycho-sexual thing?"
"No, of course not,â Barty says like it's obvious, which it isn't. âIt was just for Rosie's back. The couch was giving him trouble."
Every sentence out of Barty's mouth is worse than the last. Regulus pinches the bridge of his nose.
"You and Evan fucked on the couch? Wait, more importantly, did you wash the sheets after?"
"Of course not, it'd be weird to do laundry at someone else's place."
And maybe calling Barty for help wasn't such a bad idea after all. This date no longer feels like the worst thing that could possibly happen to him.
Really, how bad could it be?
Regulus is chronically early. He'll show up anywhere with several minutes to spare, usually the first person to arrive. So when he spots James Potter across the room as soon as he enters the restaurant, a pleasant little thrill runs through him.
He makes his way to the table, tucked away in the corner, a little secluded and offering the illusion of privacy in the bustling restaurant.
âYou must be Regulus,â the man says when Regulus stops in front of his table. Their table. His voice is pleasant. Low and smooth.
"You're... handsome," Regulus says. Not at all the first thing one should say to a perfect stranger on a date, but well, James is handsome.
He has the messiest head of hair Regulus has ever seen, but it doesn't make him look disheveled. Instead, he looks charming and inviting.
His glasses would make anyone else look severe, but on James, they just draw attention to his beautiful eyes. Dark and deep.
When he stands to greet Regulus, Regulus notices that heâs wearing a black turtleneck tucked in smart black trousers and shiny black loafers.
"Why do you sound surprised?" He asks, head tilted to the side as he sizes Regulus up. He fidgets under James' gaze, hoping that nervous sweats won't show through the green silk shirt he's wearing.
"My friend thought you'd be a pervert. Or a serial killer,â Regulus offers with a shrug. The comment makes the corner of James' mouth quirk up in a not-quite-smile.
James has a nice mouth, Regulus decides. In the back of his mind, he runs through descriptions he might use in his books. Like he's on the verge of telling a joke, already enjoying the laughter he'll incite. Like he's got a secret tucked away and is just about to confide you in.
"Oh, I'd never be a serial killer,â James jokes as he pulls out Regulus' chair for him. âI'm a hitman."
It startles a laugh out of Regulus. He covers his mouth with his hand, as if to keep the sound from escaping but it spills out anyway. James smiles a milimeter wider at the sound, and it feels like a personal victory to Regulus.
He drops down into his chair and glances at James when he moves to sit again. At the way his trousers tighten around his thighs with the movement.
"Mh, a much more honorable profession,â he replies, eyes shifting back up to James' face.
James winks at him. "My thoughts exactly.â
âI wanted to say thank you,â Regulus starts. He shifts in his seat, suddenly nervous. âI know it was rather⌠unconventional to post an ad like that on Craigslist. I honestly don't know what I was thinking, I just kind of panicked.â
James waves his hand, as if physically batting the comment away.
âDonât even worry about it. Stranger things have happened. I've actually never taken anyone out like this before.â
The statement makes something flutter in Regulus' stomach. For a moment he thinks it's hunger, but then he realizes it's the ripple of butterfly wings.
âOh?â He asks, trying for casual. He's not sure he succeeds.
âYeah, it's usually not as fancy. Less pomp, you know?â
âWell, I feel honored.â And he does. A flush crawls up his throat and settles on his cheeks. He hopes James can't see it in the low light of the restaurant, but Regulus suspects that James is a very observant person.
They order and chat and drink and Regulus, to his own surprise, is having a great time. James makes him laugh and asks questions, but also doesn't push.
When the food arrives, Regulus takes a quick second to send a text in the group chat he has with his friends.
>> reg: So far, so good! Very handsome and NOT a serial killerđ
He sees that a few of them read the message right away and the three dots that pop up indicate that someone is typing, but he tucks his phone away again before he can see who or what, attention on James again.
He smiles as he looks at the food, but the white powder sprinkled on top makes him frown.
He glances at James, who looks at him expectantly, as if eager to see Regulus take that first bite. He must really love the food here, Regulus thinks.
With another quick smile at James, he turns in his seat so he can flag down a waiter. âHi, I'm so sorry but this seems to have⌠parmesan on it? I'm lactose intolerantâŚâ
âOh, I see! Terribly sorry about that, sir. I'll get you a new one right away.â
âWhew,â he tells James, âcrisis averted.â
James hums, but he seems a little confused.
âI'm lactose intolerant,â Regulus clarifies. âIt's very not-sexy so I won't go into detail, but nothing good happens when I eat cheese and such.â
âAh,â James says.
âPlease eat!â Regulus says with a gesture towards James' own plate. âI wouldn't want your food to get cold.â
âNonsense, I'll wait.â And the simple gesture makes butterfly wings flutter even quicker. He takes a sip of wine in an attempt to drown them.
The rest of the meal passes smoothly, no more food-related incidents. Regulus keeps a a watchful eye on all the food he eats, not wanting to have to cut the date short because of a stomach emergency.
James insists on dessert, so they split a lemon sherbet between them, one of the few lactose-free options on the menu. James seems vaguely disappointed that they don't get the tiramisu, but the sherbet is so good, Regulus doubts James minds for long.
âI have a surprise,â James says once they've paid.
Regulus wasn't sure what the proper first-date-bill-etiquette was, but before he could worry about it, James had slipped the waiter his card and took care of it.
The butterflies returned with a vengeance.
âOh?â Regulus asks, interested piqued. âDo tell.â
James' laugh is warm and easy. âWell it wouldn't be much of a surprise then, would it?â The flickering lamp on the parking lot casts James in a warm yellow glow, accentuating his nose and his jaw. He looks like an angel in disguise.
James drives them to the city center, he'd even opened the car door for Regulus. He thought that was just a romance trope, not an actual thing people did. He's pleased to be proven wrong.
He watches the city lights flash by as they get closer to their destination. Their destination that is still a mystery to Regulus, by the way. He recognizes some places they pass but James' doesn't slow. Not until they're at the big, blocky building that has an arcade, a cinema, a laser tag arena, and an adventure park, whatever that is.
âCouldn't take you skydiving at 10 p.m.,â James starts as he helps Regulus out of the car, âbut I figured ziplining might also do the trick.â
Regulus gasps, touched.
Apparently, you can zipline off the roof of this particular building and land on the next one where they have a beautiful rooftop bar.
The two of them pay for the harness and the gear, listen carefully to the instructions provided by the slightly bored attendant. Her blonde hair is choppily cut, the edges dyed pink as if she did it over her own bathroom sink.
James and Regulus take turns helping the other suit up. James' hands are warm and big, holding onto Regulus' waist to stabilize him as he steps into the harness. James fiddles with the back clasps for a second before declaring that Regulus is all set.
Regulus then does the same for James, securing the clasps and making sure all the straps are pulled taut and tight. And maybe he steals a look or two at James' ass, but the harness does wonderful things for him and Regulus is a simple man.
They talk easily as they wait for their turn, the to girls in front of them jittery and nervous. It occurs to Regulus that he should probably also feel jittery and nervous right now, but James makes him feel so at ease.
He's about to tell James as much when the attendant calls out, âWAIT!â
The urgency in her voice startles Regulus away from the ledge. She hurries over, tugging on her lip piercing in a worried fashion as she unclips Regulus' harness. âOh my God,â she breathes. âThe wire is fraying!â
âWhat does that mean?â Regulus asks, eyebrows pinching together in concern.
âThat means this thing could've ended really badly, holy shit. I'm so glad I caught it. I'm sorry sir, I have no idea how this harness made it through our inspection. I assure you that we prioritize out clienteleâs safety above all else. If you want to cancel your reservation for tonight, I absolutely understand. You'll get a refund of courseââ
âOh, well, I don't think that'll be necessary! Maybe we can still do the zipline. That is, if you still want to?â He turns to face James, directing his question at him.
James has his arms crossed in front of his chest, an impressive frown on his face as he looks at the faulty harness.
Regulus steps in closer to him, lowering his voice. âHey, it's not your fault. She caught it in time and I'm completely fine. I'd still really like to do this, but if you're uncomfortableâŚâ
James snaps out of his annoyance when Regulus touches his hand to James' chest. âNo, let's do it,â he says, that easy smile returning. As long as James is with him, Regulus thinks he's as safe as can be.
The zipline is exhilarating. A thrill shoots through Regulus as he flies through the night sky, city lights blurring around him in a neon dream. James is flying next to him, arms stretched wide.
Regulus copies him and for a brief moments their fingertips touch, sending a fresh thrill down Regulusâ spine.
They land on the rooftop bar windswept and energized, a restless hum under his skin. He understands thrill-seekers now. That rush of adrenaline is unlike anything he's felt before. Although he wonders if the feeling is caused by the zipline or by James.
And he understand, now, what that reviewer meant about Regulus not knowing romance. He never knew it could feel like this. So thrilling and exhilarating yet comfortable and safe. James awakens in him emotions he didn't think he had and he is suddenly grateful to Goodreads reviewer magswrite for forcing him out of his books and into the real world.
He giggles helplessly into James' shoulder, the turtleneck soft under his cheek and the scent of fresh laundry filling his nostrils.
âThat wasâŚâ but he doesn't finish his sentence, simply gazes up at James. He leans in, just the slightest bit, breath coming a little quicker. His eyes flutter shut and he hears the way Jamesâ breath stutters.
Before their lips can connect, James jerks away. âSorry!â He says loudly, not quite a yell but a near thing.
Regulus tries to ignore the sting. It's not weird to not kiss on the first date, he reasons. Maybe James needs more time.
Regulus takes a step back, removing himself from James' personal space. He tries to muster a reassuring smile, but it feels watery and thin, like he could burst into tears at any moment.
It's fine, he tells himself. Don't be a baby.
He feels a little unsteady now that he has removed himself from James' orbit and he mutters an excuse about needing to use the bathroom.
He calls Barty, who picks up on the second ring. âWhat?â He asks, breathless.
âBarty? Why are you out of breath?â
âBusy,â is all he says in return.
âYeah, sorry, I⌠My date is going well but I tried to kiss him and heââ
A loud moan cuts him off mid-sentence.
âAre you having sex right now?â Regulus cries out. He ignores the pointed cough coming from one of the stalls.
Barty grunts in affirmation.
âOh my God!â Regulus closes his eyes and is met with the mental image of Barty and Evan. He immediately opens them again. âWhy did you pick up?â
âCase of emergency.â
Regulus canât even find it in himself to feel touched at the sentiment. While it is kind of sweet, it is also deeply unhelpful right now. âI swear to all that is holy, if you are in my bedâŚâ
âDon't be ridiculous,â Barty pants as if a few hours ago he didn't admit to having done that exact thing.
Regulus doesn't bother with a response. He simply hangs up the phone and shoves it into his pocket with perhaps a bit more gusto than strictly necessary.
He glances at himself in the mirror, taking a quick second to fix his hair. The windswept and messy look works for James, but Regulus feels like it makes him look more boyish and disorganized than charming and ruffled.
He makes his way back to James, who has managed to secure them a table on the edge of the crowd. Itâs nice, being a little secluded from the rest. This way they can talk properly, something that Regulus usually dreads about dates but actually really liked when it comes to James.
âYou strike me as an Old Fashioned guy,â James says when Regulus is in earshot. He gestures at the drink on the table. He's holding a drink of his own, a Martini.
âVery James Bond of you,â he remarks. James lifts his glass in salute. âAnd you're not wrong, I am an Old Fashioned guy." Regulus shifts his weight from one foot to the other, a sudden spike of nerves in his gut. "But I think I've had enough excitement for tonight⌠I should probably stick with water.â
On the one hand, Regulus really does think heâs had enough excitement for the time being, a faint buzz under his skin still from the zipline and from the almost-kiss. On the other hand, he doesnât want to risk crossing the line between pleasantly tipsy and embarrassingly tipsy. He doesnât think he can bear making a fool of himself in front of James. Again.
His lips tingle with the phantom feeling of Jamesâ on them.
Regulus winces at the open disappointment on James' face. It kind of feels like a capital crime to upset James, his eyes wide and earnest behind his glasses.
âI'm sorryââ Regulus starts, but James interrupts him with a bright, âDon't be!â
Relief courses through Regulusâ veins, reassured by Jamesâ smile. With a warm hand at the small of his back, they make their way towards the bar, where Regulus orders some water. The bartender looks a little confused to see James back again so soon, but hands Regulus his water before hurrying off to the other side to the bar and serve the people there.
They linger at the bar, not in any rush to get back to their table, to separate. Regulus leans in close so he can talk to James without having to shout over the music thatâs playing.
âHave you been here before?â He asks. He tries not to inhale Jamesâ laundry-clean scent, worried itâll completely shatter his inhibitions. He feels more drunk off of Jamesâ presence than he could from any drink.
James tilts his head to speak directly into Regulusâ ear. Regulus shivers when Jamesâ lips brush against his skin. âNo, this was a first. I donât like going places with familiar people. It makes this whole thing more complicated.â
âThatâs fair,â Regulus acquiesces. He canât imagine being on a date and running into people he knows. He figures it worsens the inherent awkwardness of a first date.
He's glad he didn't have to share James with anyone else just yet, happy to remain in their bubble a while longer.
They pass time at the bar, venturing back to their table eventually to enjoy the view. It really is rather beautiful, but Regulus finds that his eyes wander to James more often than not. To the way his hair falls over his forehead and the way his muscles strain in his shirt and the way his Adamâs apple shifts when he takes a sip of his Martini.
No amount of water can drown the butterflies that flutter wildly in his stomach.
James offers to drive Regulus home. The car ride is nice, spent talking idly as music spills from the radio. When they arrive at Regulusâ apartment building, James hesitates.
âI'm sorry tonight was a bit of a bust,â he says eventually.
Regulus isnât sure what James means. Yeah, maybe the cheese on his pasta was a bit of a bummer and the fact that he nearly went on the zipline with a faulty harness and then there was also the double rejection of James not wanting a kiss and Regulus not wanting a drink, but if he overlooks all those things, the date was⌠Pretty perfect.
And Regulus thinks itâs a good sign that he enjoyed himself as much as he did despite the minor issues they ran into. Heâs quick to reassure James, turning in his seat so he can face him.
âNot at all! I had such a good time, James.â He leans over so he can touch his hand to Jamesâ, as if to physically convey his sincerity. âI promise.â
James clenches his jaw, a tension in his shoulders that Regulus desperately wants to work away. His hand shifts to fully grab Jamesâ. He intertwines their fingers.
âStill⌠I'll do better next time.â James cuts him a glance. âIf you'll let me, that is.â
And Regulus has no choice but to kiss him for it. He doesnât try to kiss him on the lips, heâs more than happy to let James indicate when heâs ready for that, if at all. Instead, he leans in slowly, giving James ample time to move away. He doesnât. Regulus places a gentle kiss on Jamesâ cheek. When he pulls away, he sees a faint dusting of pink there. A rosy blush.
He exits the car as gracefully as possible, which is a tall order considering the fact that James drives a Jeep, but the promise of next time carries him all the way to his front door as though on a cloud.
Regulus opens his front door with a flush on his cheeks and toes off his shoes with a swarm of butterflies in his stomach. He boots up his laptop, the blank document staring back at him.
He thinks of James, with his messy hair and his warm smile and his big hands.
He takes a deep breath. And he starts typing: Dominic Coin loves romance. He loves reading it and he loves writing it and he would probably love experiencing it too. Unfortunately, that last one hasn't happened yet, but for now he's happy just imagining. That is untilâŚ
#this is supposed to be silly!!#as for all the barty content.... i was going through something ok#everyone say happy birthday maggie!!!#i hope you like it <33#it's been so tough keeping this to myself for a month but i wanted it to be a surprise#regulus black#james potter#jegulus#jegulus au#jegulus fic#mil's writing
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My Friend's Toyota I
đś here she is! Based on the song of the same name, by Asiris đ I wanted to write this before spring arrived. It's just a few parts (I'm thinking 4 right now) only because the first part got so long đ¤
~8k words
Warnings: college!Harry but otherwise none really. Just wanted to write a cute romantic story. Maybe the tiniest bit of angst (but maybe not in this part just yet). This part is a little ramble-y but I promise it'll come together quick.
But this... angel he had bumped into...
She was going to star in all his fantasies now.
Canât believe Septemberâs already over / Looked for stars and I found a supernova / praying to God that I can hold her close / âCause I know sheâs worried âbout the snow / She said âDarling, should I bring a coat?â
Harry thought he was more excited to go to university than anyone had ever been. âFor drinking right?â his friends from school asked with a laugh. They chatted about it all the time during the summer before they all left their hometown in favor of the new chapter of their lives. Harry liked drinking, sure. It was fun but he enjoyed hanging out with his friends more. At least when they were in university they wouldnât be drinking illegally anymore.
But Harry was a bit of a hopeless romantic.
He believed university was the surefire way to meet the love of his life. The person who would knock him off his feet, make his heart grow three sizes too big for his chest, and simply just... feel like he was right where he was supposed to be.
The first semester of university came and went.
Harry didnât meet the love of his life.
He had Mitch. His roommate and one of his best friends from home. But Mitch was in love with their friend Sarah and unfortunately, he didnât feel the same way about Mitch as Sarah felt about him. But that was okay. He still had lots of time to find the person that would make his stomach flutter.
But spring semester came and went too.
Harry tried to find her. He went on dates with several women he met in classes and at parties. He heard the whispers and rumors about him. It made him a little sad that some of the women he went out with never corrected the rumors. His longest relationships were no more than a month, but Harry couldnât help it that he didnât feel the spark he was looking for and ended things before they really got going.
It was supposed to be all-encompassing. Make him breathless. Knock him to his knees. Maybe he was being ridiculous. At the age of almost twenty he was being unrealistic to want something like that. He was young. There was plenty of time for love.
But was it so bad that he wanted it now?
His dorm room with Mitch was a suite and they each had their own rooms. They decorated the main room with the help of Sarah to make it homey (and also stopped them before they used empty vodka bottles as dĂŠcor). Their dorm was one of the âpartyâ dorms, but they rarely hosted. Harry and Mitch wanted their place to be a safe place. It rarely saw more than ten peopleâand that was only when he and Mitch were pre-gaming with other friends to go to a party off campus. Sometimes Harry brought his friends back if they had too much to drink. It made him feel better knowing they were in a safe place. Sarah even brought back a girl that was too drunk to make any good decisions of her own accord. Harry minded over her with worry because the poor thing was all but sobbing as she threw up most of the night and whined about how sad she was.
Harry actually dated her for about a month afterâsome kind of savior complex that he should have known doomed their relationship from the start.
So, he kept waiting to find the love of his life. But he couldnât help but feel discouraged as he complained to his mum and Gemma over the summer that he didnât find her that first year.
âHoney bunny, itâs too early to think like that,â Anne smirked. âYouâre so young.â
He shrugged. âI guess. Mâjusâ... Mitch has Sarah,â he reminded them.
âI know, but...â Gemma smiled sadly at him. âYouâre not Mitch. Itâll happen when itâs supposed to happen.â
Well Harry didnât meet her the following year either. Twenty came and went. He continued hearing rumors about his body count. The only ones ready to defend him ever was Mitch and Sarah but he simply didnât care. The girls he met at parties, bars, in class, they all continued to flirt with him and when Harry felt the hope of a spark, he chose to pursue itânot because of the rumors, not because he felt like he had to in order to find the love of his life, simply because he was young and enjoying his life.
But September of his third year.
Oh.
*
Harry was appalled that as a third-year student, any of his major professors deigned to have an eight-AM class. It felt like death as he walked with the throng of people headed to the correct buildings when the sun was barely high in the sky. His eyes felt droopy, and he was certain he yawned the entire walk from dorm room to classroom.
His backpack was slung over his shoulders. He shouldnât have gone out last night. He wasnât hungover, but he was just so tired. The chance of meeting the love of his life could have been at that party. That wasnât an opportunity he was willing to miss.
âI told you,â Mitch muttered to him liking eight-AMs more than the average college student. Get it out of the way. He stuck his foot out causing Mitch to stumble a bit and he smirked with a low chuckle. âIdiot,â Mitch grumbled.
Harry didnât know what he wanted to do with his degree yet. Another component of divine intervention he was hoping would appear in front of him. Love and career. He hoped the universe would help him figure both out sooner rather than later.
Mitch veered off to his own building and Harry counted down the minutes until he could trek back to his dorm room. Harry was yawningâagainâand shook his head trying to perk himself up as he made it to the building where his classroom resided on his schedule.
Harry chose a seat in the back of the room. Put his head on the desk and tried not to think about how his bed might be his real soulmate.
*
Harry was much more awake now that his professor had re-sparked his interest in microeconomics. All his classes were econ-based this year and he was honestly super excited to look at different facets of his major and maybe that was divine intervention. He had four required economic electives: sports, law, history, and statistics. Additionally, he would be taking a math class that was a pre-requisite to the class he needed for next semester. He tried not to think about it too much.
With a pep in his step, he no longer felt like going back to his dorm and sleeping as he told Mitch he would be doing instead of joining him for breakfast. He wanted to go to his next class or the bookstore. He wanted to geek out over the intro lecture he just heard to someone that would care and wouldnât brush off his nerdiness. What he really wanted was someone to kiss at the end of the day and tell him all about their classes and ask what he wanted to do for dinnerâwhether it was dining hall food or a date in town.
âHi Harry,â someone called as he fantasized about his little dream life. He didnât even see who it was, so he turned to catch a glimpse.
âHiââ he started to call politely. If it was someone he knew, he didnât want to be rude. As he turned, he must have shifted into the path of someone elseâs walk to class. He bumped into someone with about half of his body. He knocked her phone out of her hand. Also made her stumble off the sidewalk a bit. âOh, sorry, love,â he said bending for her phone before she could. The water bottle she had tucked in her bag also fell to the ground. âAre you alright?â He was hopeful he didnât hurt her, but who knows, she could have tweaked her ankle on the edge of the walk and Harry would have felt horrendous for the whole rest of the day.
âOh, Iâm sorry,â her voice was a bit rushed. âI just transferred here this semester, and Iâm all turned around and Iâm going to be lateââ
Harry glanced up at her having gathered her belongings from the dewy grass and finally caught her gaze. She stopped speaking when Harry looked at her. He swore his heart stopped. They were off the sidewalk, now. People were walking quickly to and from their classes. Harry could feel the gaze of people who knew him as he walked by. Trying to figure out who the girl was he was talking to.
Harry knew he hadnât found the love of his life yet due to lack of connection. They liked Harry well enough, and he honestly was fortunate to have had a few girlfriends who were kind, intelligent, and pretty. Those he had dated the past two years simply didnât scratch that itch for the fantasy he had: asking about his day, telling him about hers, and what did they want to do for dinner.
But this... angel he had bumped into...
She was going to star in all his fantasies now.
They hadnât spoken in thirty seconds while Harry dreamed of happily ever after with her. Finally, he cleared his throat. âWhere are yâheaded?â He asked quietly.
She shook her head rapidly and pulled her phone from his hands. Harry tried to memorize everything about this moment. The concentrated expression on her face while she scanned her phone screen. âUmm... Livingston 210,â she sighed. âAm I going the complete wrong way?â She asked nervously. âGod this is so embarrassing. I spent all day yesterday walking around trying to map out my paths and I had to park in a different lot, and I am the worst with maps and directions,â she rambled.
âNo, no,â Harry shook his head. âSâthis way. Let me walk you,â he offered. âYouâre fine,â he promised glancing at his own watch. âYouâll... youâll be early,â he reassured her.
She blew out a relieved breath. âReally? Donât you have a class to get to?â She asked. âI donât want to put you outââ
He shook his head quickly. âNo, not... not at all, love,â he murmured. âMâhappy tâdo it. Got a break before mânext class.â
Her face took on this gorgeous smile that Harry wasnât sure he would ever be able to forget. The relief was palpable. It seemed almost excessive, like he was a doctor and told her that she wasnât ill and not that her class was only about a three-minute walk. But Harry adored that smile. The way her eyes lit up along with the curve of her lips. âThank you, so so much. Iâm so nervous and know absolutely no oneâexcept my roommate. But she doesnât have class until noon. Plus, my transfer credits went in late last week so the schedule I had planned is all different than the one I made in June. I really almost considered just leaving and transferring backââ
He chuckled at her little ramble. He liked it a lot. Way more than he probably should have for having met her only ninety seconds prior. He wondered if she always did that. The need to find out was nearly unbearable. How could he prolong the conversation? How could he get her number in the next two minutes it took her to walk to her class? âCâmon,â he tilted his head toward the direction he had come from.
Was he being ridiculous? Maybe.
But this was what he wanted. The way his heart stopped. He couldnât ignore that. Was he holding his breath? Was she feeling the same warm tension that was covering his entire body with the need to look at her? This was it. She hadto be it. The love of his life. The first day of third year. His heart felt... whole.
âOh good, this is familiar,â she sighed with relief. Chuckling, Harry held the building door open for her to pass through. âDo you like candy?â She asked as she entered.
Blinking curiously, Harry wondered if she had some conversation in her head that he wasnât privy to that resulted in such a question. âMâsorry?â
âCandy?â
âUh, yeah. Of course,â he smiled at her curiously.
âOkay, Iâll get you candy as a thank you for walking me, then,â she promised with an assured nod of her head.
Harry was floored by her kindness to a stranger. It made him feel so overwhelmed that he ignored how ridiculous it all seemed for him to act like this. So that meant she wanted to see him again. He chuckled. âYâdonât have tâdo that, love. Sânot out of mâway,â he reminded her.
âI know... but you donât know me, and you look important.â
âLook important?â He repeated dumbly and gestured to the stairwell for her to ascend. He followed beside her hoping he didnât look as creepy as he felt feeling so overwhelmed with how he already felt about her.
âI donât know, everyone was staring at you while we walked over,â she shrugged.
He smirked. But he was surprised he missed that. Usually, he noticed when people called out to him. âEveryone?â
She nodded. âI think a few people even did a double take,â she explained. âSo, you must be important.â
He rolled his eyes with another little laugh from his lips. âUh...I donât think mâimportant,â he admitted. They stood a few feet away from the door labeled 210. âSâreally no trouble. I jusâ left mâeight AM from here,â he promised. âWas jusâ going tâget breakfast. Mâhappy tâhelp.â
âWell, thank you. I really appreciate it. I promise Iâll get you candy,â she said glancing at her watch and then the classroom door. âI like to get a good seat for the lecture. Iâll... see you around...?â She waited for him to fill in the missing information.
âHarry,â he said wiping his hand on his leg before holding it out for her to take. The first time he would touch who he was certain was the love of his life.
âHarry,â she repeated, placing her hand in his while introducing herself as well. âIâll see you around.â
His heart was aching with something that had to be a cross between infatuation and undeniable love. Her hand felt so nice in his and it was just a handshake. Imagining their fingers twined together made him ache with want. âWait,â he said right as her hand touched the doorknob. âWhereâs yânext class?â He asked. She pulled her phone from her pocket and opened her schedule. âUh... Sawyer,â she said reading off her phone. Harryâs heart leapt. â312.â
He felt tingles all through his body. From fingertip to his stomach, to the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. âYeah?â He asked rhetorically. The question was more for the universe; itâs way of telling Harry she was here. âIâll walk you,â he promised. âWeâre in the same class.â
She turned her face briefly from himâmaybe an effort to hide the blush that was covering her cheeks and making Harry fall even harder for her. âYeah?â She wondered.
He nodded. âIâll meet yâat the front of the building when class gets out, yeah?â
She smiled. âOkay, thanks, Harry,â she sighed with relief heading through the doorway. âEnjoy your break,â she called over her shoulder.
Harry floated back down the steps. Honestly, he wanted to wait outside her classroom, but he just met her, and he wantedâno neededâthis to work. Wanted it to work more than anything. The smile plastered on his face had his cheeks hurting but he couldnât stop. He nearly sprinted to the closest dining hall where he told Mitch he would meet him for breakfast.
âSorry, mâlate. I jusâ met the woman mâgoing tâmarry,â his voice was all airy, falling into a seat beside Mitch with a dreamy look on his face.
âWhoa,â Mitch chuckled. âYou look sick.â
âI feel sick,â he laid down onto a second chair. Backpack still on. He looked like an idiot, but he couldnât help it. He was in love.
âGlad you met her, Harry. Finally, right? Can you act like an adult?â Mitch muttered cutting up the waffle he had on his plate. Sitting up he smiled at his friend.
âWe have class together next.â
âIsnât that your math class?â He wondered. He thought about the schedule Harry was insistent about putting on the fridge so they could find each other if needed while at home. For emergencies. But Mitch didnât understand why the schedule needed to be on the fridge if Harry made him commit it to memory anyway.
âYeah, so?â
âYou hate math.â
âNo one likes math,â he grumbled.
âMaybe she does. Maybe sheâs not your soulmate.â
âShut up,â he dropped his bag in his seat and headed to get food. Upon returning with his tray, about three other people said hello to him. One girl stopped him asking if he was coming to her party this weekend and one of the guys that he knew from his pickup soccer games asked if he was available tomorrow night for a game at the rec field. âIf she likes math then... jusâ mean she completes me. Still mâsoulmate,â he shrugged.
âYou got an answer for everything,â Mitch laughed.
*
Harry found her sitting on the barrier wall to the mini garden outside the building. One of her legs stretched along the length of the cement ledge and the other dangled off the side. With the need to get her to class on time, Harry didnât have time to ogle her at all. But now, as he approached her, he noted she was wearing a pair of jeans and a pair of trainers. Obviously, her worry about being late to class must have meant she considered sprinting if it got late enough. Her T-shirt was this light orange-pink color. Like she was modeling a sunset. She had a book propped on her thigh and she leaned over reading, like she was simultaneously doing yoga while reading.
âHey,â he called. Her head perked up and she smiled, putting a bookmark in between the pages and swinging her leg over to say hi.
âHi!â She chirped excitedly. âI was afraid I missed you when I ran back inside.â
Back inside? He frowned. âDid yâclass end early?â
âYeah... almost a half hour ago,â she shrugged hopping off the ledge. âSyllabus and all. Doesnât happen that often to meâIâm majoring in accounting and finance, so all my classes just jump right into the lectures and lessons. But this is a sociology class that my other school didnât offer but I have to take here to graduate,â she explained with an eyeroll. âThey were insistent.â
âMâsorry yâhad to wait,â he frowned.
âDonât be sorry,â she smiled. âI got to read a bit andâoh!â She twisted her backpack around her body and into the zip pocket. She retrieved whatever item she was looking for and held it out for him to take. âFor walking me,â her voice was so sweet.
Harry felt his jaw fall open just a bit as she placed the Twix bar in his hand. âTwix is my favorite, but I got Starbursts too if thatâs more your vibe. Reeseâs if you like peanut butter. I wanted a variety just in case and it wonât go to waste regardlessââ
âTwix is mâfavorite, too,â he said turning the bar over in his hands. He looked up at her as if she really was placed right in his path. Fate. Out of nowhere. Like a star exploding out in the universe and dropping this angel in its spot.
She smiled. âExcellent,â she said. âWhereâs Sawyer, then?â She asked while zipping her bag again and heading toward the walkway when he walked her to the building earlier. âI want a good seat,â she reminded him. Since she got him his favorite candy barâand simply because she existed and was without a doubt going to be his favorite, periodâhe wanted to make sure she got the seat she wanted.
He wanted to make sure she got whatever she wanted.
*
Was it normal to want to hold someoneâs hand like this? Harryâs immediate thought was no. It wasnât normal. Wanting to hold hands with someone the way he was craving to hold her hand had to be the most abnormal thing in existence. Every Tuesday and Thursday for the next three weeks, he waited outside Livingston, watching her descend the front staircase to the main floor. They chatted the entire ten-minute walk to Sawyer where they shared a math class. She insisted on sitting closer to the front than Harry would ever consider but he was immediately enamored with how sweet she was and there was no way he could let someone else sit beside her.
Tuesdays and Thursdays were slowly becoming his favorite days of the week. They were his weekend even with a packed schedule on the two days. Talking to her was everything he had been longing for the last two years of school.
On Sunday, he slept until almost ten-thirty. He was lying in bed while scrolling through his array of social media and other correspondences. He heard the shower running, so either Sarah or Mitch must have been well after a night of drinking.
Three weeks. After three weeks of pining and walking her to and from class, he got an email on a Sunday.
The subject line read: Be-Twix you and me Iâm glad weâre friends. He threw himself out of his bed and paced the main room trying to figure out if it was Mitch or Sarah in the shower. He knocked. âSarah!â
âSorry, Harry. Sheâs sleeping,â Mitch called.
He opened the door anyway. âShe emailed me.â
âHow 2002 of her,â he snorted.
âYouâre useless,â Harry grumbled closing the door shut. He truly considered barging into Mitchâs room and waking Sarah for a girlâs opinion but after doing the very same and seeing way more than he was supposed to of his two friends, he opted for figuring it out himself. He vaguely wondered if there was a way to open an email faster. He must have read it a thousand times and it was only four sentences long.
Hi Harry!
I was wondering if you would want to study for our exam together? I like having someone to study with, but if thatâs not your vibe I understand :) Let me know either way! This is my number if you would prefer texting.
Harry thought there were no prettier ten numbers than the ones that formed her phone number. He was immediately ready to text her but luckily had the wherewithal of checking the time stamp of the email to see if he was looking desperate but struggling to care. Fortunately, the email was from a little after seven-thirty.
He could have chatted with her for three hours longer if he hadnât slept so late.
Hi, itâs Harry đ
Hi! Glad my email didnât scare you off. My roommate said that my Twix pun was horrendous.
Itâs adorable. Thank you for emailing. Iâd love to study. I work until five... I can meet you somewhere?
Do you like coffee?
I love coffee đ
Do you think it will be cold around five? Iâm still getting used to the weather around here. I want to bring a coat.
Harry made a mental note to pack an extra sweatshirt in case she got too cold. Canât hurt to bring one. You never know what the weather will do around here.
*
Forty minutes a week.
Forty blissful, perfect minutes in the month of September had been spent chatting with the stranger that bumped into her on the first day of the fall semester. The sun was warm despite the breeze chilling her skin. It wasnât nearly enough time but she somehow managed to fall incredibly hard for him anyway.
It was a bit ridiculous.
Her roommateâand only friendâwas also a transfer student. However, Allie was much more outgoing than she was. That wasnât to say she didnât have fun; it was just different than how Allie enjoyed herself. Allie made friends everywhere she went. Their off-campus but university-owned apartment was always in flux of visitors from her classes, her club tennis team, or just someone she met while eating lunch in the dining hall between classes.
Allie was a good judge of character though, so she never worried about someone of bad rapport traipsing through their place. Also, Allie was always sure to keep everyone away from her room, of course.
But Allie had no problem flopping on her bed around ten in the morning and nosily glancing over her shoulder. She had left her email open anxiously waiting for a reply from the most handsome guy she had ever had the pleasure of meeting. âBe-Twix?! Sweetie, thatâs atrocious,â she rolled her eyes. She groaned in response.
âI... I donât know,â her face felt hot with shame. She really liked Harry. âIt seemed like a good idea at the time... maybe thatâs why heâs not answering me,â she frowned.
âMaybe he just sleeps like a normal college student and doesnât wake up at the ass-crack of dawn,â she said knowingly patting her knee reassuringly.
âHave you seen the leaves?â She whispered almost in awe. âI went for a walk to get a bagel andââ
âIâve seen them,â Allie smiled with a shake of her head at her silly friend. The adoration she had for little things was admirable, sweet, and just... if Harry Styles broke her heart, she would break his face. âI lived here my whole life, remember?â
But she didnât live here her whole life. So, she was in aweâher first true fall since she was a toddler that she didnât even remember. There were pictures of her jumping into a pile of leaves with her mom that her dad had just painstakingly raked. The south didnât have pretty leaves like this in the fall. Palm leaves didnât change color other than wilting brown when it was too hot. She intended to spend every minute looking at the beautiful hues of orange, red, and yellow so as not to miss the pretty season she hadnât gotten to enjoy for most of her life.
After another agonizing thirty minutes of waiting for him to respond (and breathing with sweet relief that he did want to see her later) she told Harry that she was worried about it being cold later in the evening. She had grown up closer to the Tropic of Cancer which was now roughly 15 degrees south of her current latitude. She hated the heat; it made her skin feel dirty and oily with sweat all summer long. Her hair was too thick, her skin naturally too warm. Just thinking about her thighs sticking to her leather car seat in July was horrific.
But her parents had grown up and met here on this pretty autumn-picturesque campus. Somewhere not quite freezing (at least not yet, so she had been told) but not quite suffocating with heat like home. They left here when she was two to situate themselves in Hellâs sauna room. After taking the general requirement classes at a state school, she wanted to transfer up north to the university where her parents fell in love. Call her a hopeless romantic, but if she hadnât found the love of her life amongst the bathing suit, half-clad guys on the beach during the last two spring breaks, then he probably wasnât in the south. Instead, she hoped she might find him around the ski slopes.
She hadnât anticipated finding Harry before her first class started.
Forty minutes.
That was how much time Harry generously gave her outside their shared class combined on Tuesday and Thursday each week.
She wanted more. Greedy with want and didnât know how to do it without tying it to school. Part of her worried because what if he just pitied her and now didnât know how to get away from her? They had class together; he couldnât be rude. Even if he didnât like her the way she was already falling for him, it was very obvious that Harry was a good person.
âJust be careful,â Allie warned lightly. âHarry has a bit of a reputation I hear.â
She frowned and shrugged. She knew what Allie meant. People around her werenât exactly subtle and while she listened to music in the dining hall while she ate, or studied in the library, or even just read her book. Those around her whispered. They had seen the pair of them walking to class. Apparently, Harry never looked like that before. The whispers included Harry having plenty of girlfriends. Sometimes two or even three at a time. That just seemed ridiculous, and she felt so sad others talked about him behind his back. There were even quiet bets about how long she would last in the list of Stylesâ conquests.
So, she understood that Allie was just trying to look out for her. âWell... I like him. He doesnât have a reputation around me,â she shrugged. Allie frowned for a moment. She was so sweet.
âJust be careful with your heart,â Allie looked at her with a bit of worry in her eye. But her smile was encouraging. âItâs too good for university guys.â
She had only known Allie about three months longer than she had known Harry. They both moved in at the start of the summer, working off campus and getting to know one another as well as the area (not that it helped her directionally illiterate mind). Allie was lovely and all the things she wanted in a college-best-friend that she never really got from commuting to the local college when she lived down south. âI think you would like him.â
âI can like him and still want someone better for you,â she shrugged leaning in the doorway. She didnât want to taint the image of perfect Harry. But the stories she heard werenât easy to ignore. She had seen him at parties since her best friend met him on her way to her sociology class. It was hard to miss him. It was like he was the star of every party.
He drank with his friends and girls obsessed over him. To her friendâs nearly naĂŻve point of view, however, Allie hadnât seen Harry flirt back. He was helpful and kind to those that drank too much; guiding them outside and gently pulling a girlâs hair back for when she threw up in the shrubs. It was endearing in a lot of ways. But she would still kill him if the rumors of a string of girls was true. If her new best friend was just another notch in his belt, Harry was dead. âYou are so sweet to believe in the good in everyone. I just donât want you to be heartbroken if he isnât as lovely as you think.â
She smirked looking at the emojis and rapid influx of messages Harry was sending her trying to coordinate timing and picking her up, so she didnât have to walk. âI wonât,â she promised. But she didnât say that she thought he was better.
*
Harry was fifteen minutes late. He blamed the table he was waiting on before he left. They were overbearing and wanted their meal compedâthat much was obvious. Looking for the smallest hiccups to rebuke him. Harry begged his manager to seat them in another section. Having waited on them before, but no dice. His heart was in his throat wishing he had time to go home and change but he couldnât. If he was a moment later, he was sure he was ruining everything.
Unaware of Harryâs worry, she waited patiently on the bench outside the apartment building the university had taken as more dorm suites. She continued reading her book trying not to think about how maybe Harry had better things to do than study for a math class on a Sunday. Especially after work. But he had texted her he was running late, and he was on his way.
She was glad she decided on a coat, it wasnât freezing, but her thick skin ill-suited for hot weather was already thawing and feeling the chill of the early October weather. She spent an embarrassingly long time sorting through her athleisure wear trying to decide. Something suitable for studying at a coffee shop that wasnât overstated but not quite sweatpants.
Right when she thought about calling Harry, he appeared in front of the bench. Parking and getting out of his car quickly and hurrying to the passenger side. âI am so sorry,â he said hurriedly dragging a hand through his curls. She admired the motion; enjoying how mussing them didnât matter much and they fell right back into place. She cleared her throat and shook herself out of her own staring at him.
âFor what?â
âMâso late, love. Sârude. Mâsorry,â he repeated.
âOh...itâs...itâs really okay. I was already out hereââ
âSâcold,â he frowned eyeing her sweatshirt and the coat at her side.
âIâm okay!â She promised. âIs everything alright?â She asked and stepped toward him putting her hand on his forearm. He thought he might explode at the feeling of her skin on his. It was more intimate than their handshake, and she got the feeling she wanted to twine their fingers together again.
Harry seemed to breathe with a sigh of relief, and he looked at her with this stunned expression. She couldnât figure out why. âYeah,â he nodded. âJusâ felt bad being late.â
âOh,â she blinked. âThatâs okay. I wasnât in a rush or anythingââ
âNo, love,â he shook his head. âMâsorry because I wanted tâsee you so bad,â he sighed. He ran his hand through his hair again making her heart take off at a speed that had to be unsafe for her health. Almost immediately she felt light-headed. He wanted to see her. He just told her that. There was no hiding it. She could feel that emotion thick in his voice.
âOh,â she repeated, completely stunned and confused. âReally?â She asked in complete shock.
âYes, very, very much,â he sighed dreamily.
Her cheeks warmed hotly under his gaze. The pair of them stood there. Staring at one another as if they were statues destined to look at one another for all eternity, frozen in time to capture a moment like theirs. The October air was rapidly cooling, but she couldnât feel anything but heat. Like she had stepped out of the airport terminal back in the south except this heat was not suffocating. It was so welcoming.
For a few moments they just stood there, her hand touching his forearm, gazing at one another. Part of her thought it would be nice to be a statue on the street. At least if Harry was beside her. Eventually, he shook his head ever so slightly and smirked. âSo...coffee?â
She cleared her throat, smiling brightly. âPlease.â
*
Just one week later, she was chatting with a friend from her sociology class. The moment he saw Harry, he knew Harry was there waiting for her, just as he had been since they met a month earlier. Harry recognized him from attending many parties that his frat hosted at one of the houses someone had off campus. His eyes seemed a bit surprised to see Harry waiting at the bottom of the steps, doing a double take at him waiting for the girl he was walking with down the steps.
âHey Harry,â the guy said quietly.
âHi!â She chirped gleefully. Her excited smile felt like too much on her face, but she had no way of knowing. She also didnât notice the turmoil the guy felt seeing the competition between himself and Harry. (If she did know, she would flat out tell him there was no competitionâother than school, Allie, and work, her mind was all about Harry.)
âHi,â he said politely with a smile and turned toward the person he actually cared about talking to. âYâready for math, love?â He asked gently.
âAlways,â she started for the main door. âSee you around!â she called sweetly over her shoulder.
*
On Saturday, Allie asked if she wanted to go to a party with her. She was more than happy to stay in and read her book. But she teased her. âHarry might be there,â she winked knowingly.
As much as she didnât pay any attention to the rumors about Harry, it was hard to fully ignore them the way she wanted to. It wasnât that she distrusted Harry. No, if anything, she believed in him more than anyone else. But it did sound like Harry had a different party persona. She was not a party person. Honestly, she wanted him to have fun they way he wanted to. Going to a party just because he was there...
âThatâs alright, I thinkââ
âOh, come on!â She smiled sweetly. âIâll help you get all dolled up and weâll just have a couple drinks, and we can leave if you hate it. But if Harry is as smitten as you say he is, I bet he wonât let you leave,â she giggled.
Her face warmed at her friendâs assumption and she tried to picture a scenario in which someone as attractive as Harry would worry about little ole her like that. âIsnât it cold out?â
âSo wear another sweater!â Allie rolled her eyes.
âThatâs not very college party of me.â
âWell, I would suggest an alcohol blanket, but I feel like getting you drunk before you even see Harry would be bad.â
She rolled her eyes. âYouâll make me look pretty?â She asked quietly at her friend in the doorway.
âPrettier,â Allie nodded assuredly.
âAlright,â she sighed. âLetâs go to a party.â
*
Allieâs arm was looped through hers. It was freezing out. But honestly it felt nice. She was just a bit shivery. âI thought you said I could wear another sweater.â
âSweetie, hiding your assets at a party would be criminal.â
She rolled her eyes with a smirk. They entered the door, dodging the guy standing at the door to keep people in and out very quickly. âHey Allie,â he said.
She waved in response and headed right inside. She thought maybe it was a good thing Allie told her to skip the sweater. The heat inside the house was nearly as warm and humid as the airport terminal. The air was thick with the sour smell of alcohol, weed, and sweat. âI donât know how people want to hook up with anybody around here. I canât think of very many places that are less of an aphrodisiac.â
Allie smirked and pushed the pair of them through a throng of bodies toward the kitchen. She grabbed two red cups from the sleeve of them off the counter and asked the makeshift bartenderâsurely some poor freshmen pledgeâto pour them drinks. Her gut felt a little off about the gesture. âI donât know, Al,â she whispered softly.
âIâve had them here before,â Allie promised reassuringly. She still wasnât thrilled with the idea as she took the cup from her friend.
âHey Allie!â Someone called. Allie turned, looking over her shoulder as she called back over the pounding music. Meanwhile she looked at the liquid sloshing along with the ice. She thought maybe she should have taken her chances with the jungle juiceâno one would be stupid enough to touch that, even if it would end with her throwing it all back up at the end of the night.
The pair of them circled around the house, briefly stopping to watch the end of a rousing game of beer pong. The winning person slammed his beer back, dripping along the sides of his mouth triumphantly which made her smile. Allie rolled her eyes and tugged her out back. A bon fire was in the middle of the yard. Another sober freshman pledge, undoubtedly in charge of standing guard. The music was still loud but way less aggressive outside. There were other large groups of people outside as well chattering and drinking away. Allie worked quick; left her alone by the fireâwhich she was grateful for since it was warm. When Allie returned, she was already sipping her second drink, holding a third, and dropping her empty cup in the trash bin right near the house. Oof, her head was going to kill tomorrow.
âHarryâs here,â Allie whispered to her as she got close to her again. There was a twinge in her knees, like she might fall at the mere thought of him. It took all her self-restraint to not whip around to catch a glimpse of him. She wasnât playing hard to get, but this was very much not her scene. She didnât want to intrude on whatever fun he was having. âYou should go say hi,â Allie nudged her.
She smirked, wanting to take a sip of her drink but still feeling hesitant so she just put the cup to her lips, like she was pretending to sip it. âUh...maybe later. I donât want to interrupt,â she responded directly in Allieâs ear. The good news was she managed to peek over her shoulder to see him standing a little ways away from the fire. It was too dark to make out any specific features or defining muscles but just the way he stood was hot. She felt insane for thinking such a thing, but it was impossible not to. He was so cute. He had one hand in his front pocket, a drink in the other hand, and just a plaid flannel layered over another plaid flannel. His eyes and smile were lost in the dark, but she could picture it. The light evergreen color that was simply her new favorite color along with the pinkest most adorable lips curling across his face and making dimples in his cheeks that would make the Grand Canyon jealous of their depth.
âI think he would probably die if you interrupted,â she snickered.
Briefly, she entertained the idea. She could ask how Harry was doing on his homework, but that wasnât the best party talk in the world (even if she did want to know). But she was still a little nervous, especially outside class, their walk, and even their study not-quite date to chat with him about anything. A party was more than likely his element. She could see why. Girls were surrounding him ogling very much the same things that she probably ogled on her way to math class. He was easy to talk to, sweet, and of course very handsome.
She shook her head. âDo they have sâmores?â She asked suddenly.
Allie spit her drink back into her cup and laughed. âJesus Christ,â Allie rolled her eyes. âNo; college-students donât have sâmores at a party.â
She frowned. âI feel like this party would be a lot better if it did,â she grumbled.
Allie wrapped her arm over her shoulder. âDonât ever change, please,â she kissed her cheek. She laughed lightly.
âIf we had a party with a fire, I promise there would be sâmores,â she was very decisive. âIt seems sinful to not have them.â
âHey, love.â
She felt her whole body stiffen and somehow soften at the same time. They both turned to his voice and now she could see in the firelight, that the red colors of his flannel contrasted so sharply with his eyes. The green seemed to amplifyâeven in the dark. âHi, Harry,â she smiled sweetly.
âDidnât know yâwould be here.â
âYeah...uh... this is my best friend and roommate Allie,â she gestured to the girl beside her. âShe invited me,â she explained.
âHi, Harry,â Allie held her hand out. âHeard lots about you. And seen you around a lot,â she said knowingly.
âHi, Allie,â he said sweetly shaking her hand politely. âThanks for bringing her,â he grinned winking at her flirtatiously. âCan I steal her from you?â he asked. âIf sâalright with you,â he turned back to her, looking into her eyes so deeply she swore he was reading her mind. Not that there were any other thoughts than Harry, Harry, Harry.
âListen Harry,â Allie said squaring her shoulders.
âOh my God, Al,â she shoved her back a bit. âDonât.â
Harry took a step away and looked back at Allie nervously. âThis is my best friend,â Allie said with the third drink doing most of the talking.
âAllie!â She hissed.
âI love her so much,â tipsy-Allie was very loving and adoring. A bit flighty too. If she didnât have a rush of alcohol spinning her blood quickly through her, she might have been a little less aggressive.
âI see,â Harry smiled. âI will take really good care of her Allie. I promise. Yâhave nothing tâworry âbout,â he shoved a hand back in his pocket. He looked at her shyly, knowing that Harry was also talking directly to her and not just her tipsy best friend. âI should have asked though,â he said with a smile. âDâyou...want tâhang out a bit?â He asked.
She smiled and nodded. âYes, please.â
âHow polite,â Allie snickered. Her smile faded rapidly as she glared back at Harry. If she wasnât so focused on him, she might have missed the way he gulped nervously. âDonât break her heart, Harry,â she pointed accusingly at him.
âAllie, enough!â She pressed a hand over her face.
âDonât leave without me, either. Iâll be with my friends,â she said and flitted away as if there was nothing abnormal about her behavior.
âIâm so sorry about her,â she whispered still with a hand over her face. Harry chuckled and shook his head.
âNo, sâokay. Sâgood she cares âbout you so much,â he nodded. âI agree completely,â he assured her. âMâreally glad tâsee you. I was so surprised and distracted...I wasnât thinking clearly. I should have asked first tâsteal yâaway...â he glanced at her full cup. âDonât like your drink?â He asked.
âUm...no, well. Kind of. Iâm a little wary of accepting it from someone I donât know.â
Harry didnât try to talk her out of how she felt which made her heart flutter more. âSâa good point...dâyou want tâwalk to the bar down the road?â He asked.
âIâd have to leave Allie,â she smirked. âNot sure I want to put that on someone else.â
âHold on,â he said and rushed off to the house. It was only a couple minutes, if that. But he reappeared with a can in his hand. âI pulled it out of the fridge when the kid was turned,â he smirked.
She giggled. âMy hero,â she laughed and sipped it without fear.
âSo... dâyou want tâgo...find some place quieter tâtalk?â
She glanced at the house. âIs there somewhere to talk?â She asked.
âYeah... mâfriend Niall and his friends are hosting. Heâs got a keypad lock on his door, and I know the code tâhis bedroom.â
âYou always try to get girls into your friendâs room?â She asked quirking an eyebrow at him while sipping her drink. He chuckled and shook his head.
âNo, sânothing like that, love. Jusâ want some privacy.â
âWell, thatâs fine by me, even by the fire, itâs chilly out here.â
âYouâre cold? Here,â he pulled off the top flannel and draped it on her shoulders then put a hand on her lower back to guide her back toward the house. She could feel the stares of others on them as they meandered back. âSânot even winter yet. Sâgonna be tough on your southern blood,â he smiled.
She smiled. âMy parents are from here. I think thereâs some northerner in me yet. Just got to get it out of hibernation.â
Harry chuckled. âYouâll still need a coat, love,â he promised.
If Harry was going to offer his own clothing to her, she wasnât sure sheâd want to bring her own coat at all.
--
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JUST READ THE COD GANG REACTING TO READER FALING AN ORGASM SO WHAT IF READER ADMITS THEY NEVER HAD ONE BEFORE?????? LIKE- NEW RELATIONSHIP??????? SORRY FOR CAPS IM ECSTATIC RN BC UR WORK IS SO GOODđŤśđŤśđŤśđŤśđ¤đ¤đ¤đ¤đ¤đ¤đ¤đ¤
COD characters finding out that Reader's past lover(s) have never given them an Orgasm.
Am I exactly sure what Anon is asking? No, But I will persist.
I'm choosing to write this with the interpretation of Reader never having an orgasm even though they've had sex with others. (The other way I read it was that Reader just flat out never had an orgasm before, and I think that's extremely unrealistic. So we're going with that one) ALSO because of the prompt You and the guys have yet to bump uglies!
Ghost:
â˘Simon is a little confused "Like...None of them?"
â˘He takes it very seriously
â˘He asks you to elaborate a little more. He just wants to know if the other guys sucked (or just didn't in this case) or if you two needed to do something specific in order to please you.
â˘He understands if you need some kind of accommodations and will ask you what he needs to do
â˘You and Simon have a long discussion over what you want your first time with him to be like. He makes sure you both have a clear understanding of what's to come (ha).
Soap:
â˘First thing he says is âWould you like to?â
â˘He thinks it's a little funny but really sad too
â˘âDarling, you're too pretty to let subpar men just use you.â
â˘He immediately wants to show you how it's done and what you've been robbed off
â˘He asks if he can take you for a âgood ol' mustache rideâ
Price:
â˘âYoung men are dumb.â He says and takes a drag from his cigar
â˘âBut I guess it's nice to know I have no competition.â He smiles
â˘He does talk to you about your needs and what he needs to do to meet them properly
â˘He takes you out on a nice dinner date, goes on a nice walk with you, and end up with his hands wrapped around your waist taking you home
Alejandro:
â˘Can not stop laughing
â˘As soon as you tell him he erupts into a fit of giggles. He takes him a full 3 minutes before he calms down enough to hug you and pat you back.
â˘âYou poor thing.â he chuckles and kisses your cheek. âI'll make sure to make up for all their failures, Mi querida.â
â˘Heâll ask you what they were doing down there the whole time. Which leads to even more laughter when you tell him.
â˘âBut I think I should buy you a nice dinner first.â he winks
Roach:
â˘Stunned
â˘Absolutely floored
â˘âLike never?â He signs. You can see the horror in his eyes
â˘Heâs got his head in hands, contemplating life. He's so concerned for you. He has to take a moment of silence to comprehend the level of incompetence the men in your life must have had.
â˘When he finally sits up he looks you directly in the eyes and signs âThank God I'm good with my hands.â
Gaz:
â˘Slowly turns his head to look at you with his brows furrowed and confusion
â˘Is too shock to speak
â˘He gets up to pour himself some Scotch
â˘âHow many times have you had to fake an orgasm?â â8â he proceeds to down the entire drink and pour himself another
â˘This time he hands it to you âYou need this more than me.â
Rudy:
â˘He gets up and takes a lap around the house
â˘When he gets back he pulls you into a hug
â˘âYou deserve so much better, Mi Tesoro.â
â˘Kisses your jaw and runs his hands down your back. âI can give you so much better.â He tells you in-between kisses
â˘He offers you himself until your properly satisfied, for however long that takes
KĂśnig:
â˘âWhy do you like incompetent men?â
â˘He means it in a genuine way, But he accidentally reads you to filth.
â˘âWhy spend your time and affection on someone who cannot please you?â he asks. âI didn't want to seem shallow.â You replied. âShallow? Liebste, No.â
â˘He practically scolds you for allowing such men into your life. It's actually the most you've ever heard him speak. Which really tells you how upset he is.
â˘âYou're Lucky I'm here. I will not let such things happen ever again.â
â˘And fuuuck, he means it
Mace:
â˘âOther men are filthy animals.â he tells you like it was a normal thing to say
â˘He gets in close to you and rests his arms on your hips. âDonât get me wrong, I'm a man whore.â He laughs lightly and kisses you âBut you knew that.â
â˘He asks you for all the funny details and thinks it would make a decent bonding experience.
â˘He tells you about his less than great sex stories and failures
â˘âRest assured sweetheart, I'm a pro at making people scream.â
Thanks for reading <3
(I realize now that I wrote them all in different mindsets of this prompt... Good luck with that, I guess)
#cod mw2#x reader#reader#mw2#cod#fluff#kĂśnig#fanfic#mace cod#simon ghost riley#john soap mactavish#john price#alejandro vargas#rudy parra#colonel kĂśnig#gary roach sanderson#kyle gaz garrick#ghost x reader#soap x reader#kĂśnig x reader#mace x reader
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