break a leg arm
summary: mark breaks his arm and a cast is all he needs as an excuse to get you to do everything for him
warnings: mature content insinuated, strong language
a/n: I literally went thru a heck load of his tweets to see what he was like through text lmfao also this is a remake! insp from sheep
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[1 Missed Call] broccoli johnny 8:56PM
[New Message] from broccoli johnny 9:00PM, hey
[broccoli johnny] 9:00PM, I know its kind of late but
[broccoli johnny] 9:01PM, mark’s in the ER right now, you busy?
[you] 9:05PM, wtf
[you] 9:05PM, where
[you] 9:05PM, why
[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, nothing serious dw
[broccoli johnny] 9:06PM, we’re in seoul national
[you] 9:07PM, okay im coming
[broccoli johnny] 9:07PM, mind coming over?
[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, oh
[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, lol cool cool
[broccoli johnny] 9:08PM, just text me when you get here :-)
[you] 9:34PM, I’m here where are you?
[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, hold on
[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, jae cant get his drink out of the vending machine
[broccoli johnny] 9:35PM, we’ll meet u in the lobby in a sec
[you] 9:36PM, jaehyun you are a grown man
[broccoli johnny] 9:36PM, jae said hes not going to share his drink with you now
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[New Message] from lioncub 11:45PM, Sorry for making you worry haha and thank you for coming over so fast
[lioncub] 11:45PM, You home ssfe yet?
[lioncub] 11:45PM, *Safe
[lioncub] 11:46PM, Damn this whole cast on my arm thing is really getting in the way haha
[you] 11:46PM, always<3 and yea I am :) you?
[lioncub] 11:46PM, Yeah, everyone’s in bed. Johnjae’s about to leave
[you] 11:46PM, nice
[you] 11:47PM, tell jaehyun that I hope he falls over
[lioncub] 11:48PM, Woah hahahaha
[lioncub] 11:48PM, Is this because he didn’t share his drink with you?
[you] 11:48PM, it was the last one left >:( and the traitor drank it all >:((
[lioncub] 11:50PM, Haha
[you] 11:50PM, >:(
[lioncub] 11:51PM, You’re so cute
[you] 11:51PM, wow you type so slow
[lioncub] 11:51PM, I brokr my ar, !!!
[you] 11:51PM, yikes
[lioncub] 11:52PM, Dude dp you want me to type fast or not?
[you] 11:52PM, you’ll make mistakes either way👀
[lioncub] 11:52PM, *Do
[lioncub] 11:53PM, Hahaha very funny lool
[lioncub] 11:54PM, Come on babr
[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Basbr
[lioncub] 11:54PM, *Babve
[lioncub] 11:54PM, Damn. *babe
[you] 11:54PM, just. don’t text me anymore .
[lioncub] 11:55PM, Wait what !!!!!
[lioncub] 11:55PM, But my cast wont br off for weeks!!
[lioncub] 11:56PM, Babe !
[lioncub] 11:56PM, D: !!
[you] 11:56PM, I meant that like..... ‘call me’ you dummy
[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oh
[lioncub] 11:57PM, Oops
[Incoming Call] lioncub 11:58PM
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[New Message] from marks arm 1:12PM, They left me at home :/
[marks arm] 1:12PM, All alone
[marks arm] 1:13PM, And I’m bored :/
[marks arm] 1:13PM, Bee
[marks arm] 1:13PM, Oh
[marks arm] 1:14PM, Are
[marks arm] 1:14PM, D
[marks arm] 1:14PM, b o r e d
[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe
[marks arm] 1:15PM, Babe?
[marks arm] 1:15PM, Ba b e
[Missed Video Call] marks arm 1:17PM
[you] 1:21PM, oh shit sory just came out yhe shower
[marks arm] 1:22PM, Oh lool sorry
[marks arm] 1:22PM, You going out somewhere?
[marks arm] 1:23PM, OH are you coming over? :0
[you] 1:23PM, huh? no
[you] 1:23PM, lmfao gotta go to the supermarket
[marks arm] 1:24PM, Is that code for my dorm?
[you] 1:24PM, uh
[you] 1:24PM, what
[marks arm] 1:25PM, Super-MARK-et
[marks arm] 1:25PM, 😏😏😏
[you] 1:25PM, …………
[marks arm] 1:26PM, Dude. You can’t tell me that wanst funny
[you] 1:26PM, ……………………
[marks arm] 1:26PM, Comn on man. That was pretty funny!!!
[marks arm] 1:27PM, *Wasn’t *Come
[marks arm] 1:27PM, 😏😏😏 ???
[you] 1:27PM, I’m not coming over just because you made a ‘good’ joke
[marks arm] 1:28PM, Hahahahaha! babe please!!
[marks arm] 1:28PM, I’m so fucking bored~
[marks arm] 1:28PM, I have thid dumbass cast on now and the boys wont be back till waaayy later
[marks arm] 1:29PM, *This
[marks arm] 1:30PM, It’s not like I can take the cast off. But you can keep me company!!
[marks arm] 1:30PM, Pretty please🥺
[you] 1:30PM, but I gotta go shop D:
[marks arm] 1:31PM, Oh right. yeah lol
[marks arm] 1:31PM, but you can come over after?😏
[you] 1:31PM, hmmmmmm
[marks arm] 1:32PM, No one’s home😏 and
[marks arm]1:32PM, and Iwanttohugyou
[marks arm] 1:33PM, Plus I promise I won’t hug you with my casr haha
[marks arm] 1:33PM, *Cast
[you] 1:33PM, cute
[marks arm] 1:34PM, Did.. Did you not just hear what I said?
[marks arm] 1:34PM, No one’s home !!!
[you] 1:35PM, fine :[
[you] 1:35PM, but after I shop :>
[marks arm] 1:36PM, Alright nice haha. After you shop. Got it !
[New Message] from marks arm 1:45PM, Can you get me snacks??
[marks arm] 1:49PM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!
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[you] 8:03PM, can’t believe I bought you snacks for that
[marks arm] 8:04PM, It was the cast!! I swear !!
[marks arm] 8:04PM, You weren’t the only one uncomfortable >:( I can’t hold myself up over you when my arm is broken lool
[you] 8:05PM, I’m taking your lap next time🙄
[marks arm] 8:05PM, Oh woah
[you] 8:06PM, ‘woah’ what?
[marks arm] 8:06PM, :0
[marks arm] 8:06PM, Woah nothing. Hahahaha
[you] 8:06PM, okay well,,, save your lap for me next time
[marks arm] 8:07PM, lol okay
[marks arm] 8:07PM, Next time.
[marks arm] 8:07PM, I like that
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[New Message] from marker 2:20AM, You awake?
[you] 2:21AM, no
[marker] 2:21AM, Oh okay nevermind then
[you] 2:22AM, …
[you] 2:22AM, uh mark
[marker] 2:23AM, Wait a minute
[you] 2:23AM, there we go😂😂
[marker] 2:23AM, ;/
[you] 2:23AM, LOL whats up? its 2am🤔dont you have to go studio in the morning🤔
[marker] 2:24AM, Yeah :/ but my arm hurts ;/
[you] 2:24AM, badly?
[marker] 2:25AM, Mhm :(
[marker] 2:25AM, I cant sleep :(( it hurts :/ like actually really hurts
[you] 2:25AM, lemme get back to you in 7 years after I get my doctors licence
[marker] 2:26AM, Hahahahahahaha
[marker] 2:26AM, Can you get back to me in 3secs as my bestfriend instead?
[you] 2:26AM, touché
[marker] 2:26AM, Haha
[marker] 2:27AM, Let me video call you?
[you] 2:27AM, doyoung is asleep though
[marker] 2:27AM, Yeaahh
[marker] 2:28AM, But I wantf to see you :(
[you] 2:28AM, you saw me today ?
[marker] 2:28AM, It wasnt enough :(
[you] 2:29AM, are you okay??
[marker] 2:29AM, Yeah! I am! I just
[marker] 2:29AM, idk
[marker] 2:29AM, Seeing you makesd me feel better
[you] 2:29AM, cute
[marker] 2:29AM, Shutup man
[marker] 2:30AM, Just let me call youuu
[you] 2:30AM, hm
[you] 2:31AM, fine
[you] 2:31AM, this is my way of making up for my lack of a doctors licence
[marker] 2:31AM, hahahahahahahaha
[marker] 2:31AM, I’m gonna wake up doyoung laughing like this
[you] 2:32AM, lmao pls dont blame me when he whoops your ass in the morning
[marker] 2:32AM, I wont :)
[Incoming Call] marks arm 2:33AM
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[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]
[doyoung]: Mark looks like a sardine that was left to dry out in the sun for 12 days
[marker]: Hey man
[marker]: Thats just mean
[fullsun]: not mean, just the truth💅🏼
[doyoung]: It’s because he was up all night talking to you know who👀
[mr peach]: exposed
[you]: mark you said doyoung was a heavy sleeper
[doyoung]: He lied.
[marker]: We werent that loud man
[nakamoto]: I could hear mark from my bedroom
[let’s winwin!]: *our bedroom
[let’s winwin!]: and no we couldn’t
[nakamoto]: I did👀
[broccolli johnny]: all yuta does is lie lmfao
[marker]: How??!!?
[marker]: Your bedroom is upstairs!!!
[junguwu]: ? I couldnt hear them ??? and I’m next door
[nakamoto]: if I was upstairs then explain to me how I heard y/n complaining about how mark farts too much🤔🤔🤔
[marker]: Oh my god
[broccoli johnny]: LMFAAAOO
[junguwu]: HAHAH HAHAHAHAH
[mr peach]: this again LOL
[you]: I still can’t believe they let you talk about marks farts in your tmi vids
[oldman]: 😂😂😂😂😂oh no
[fullsun]: the dried sardine has got some explaining to do👀
[marker]: Dude its not true!!! I swear !!!!!!
[you]: a little bit true
[doyoung]: ✋also a witness
[marker]: >:0
[marker]: Fucking betrayers!!!!!!!
[marker]: Johnny tell them its not true !!!
[broccoli johnny]: my hands are tied bro🤗
[marker]: whAT
[marker]: Jaehyun?!
[mr peach]: its not true.
[doyoung]: Way to sound believable🙄
[nakamoto]: word on the street y/n is tired of mark never saying sorry or excusing himself from farting🤧
[marker]: You guys are just big bullies man
[marker]: Sicheng man you’re the only one I have left😭
[let’s winwin!]: lol no
[fullsun]: yuta may be lying about hearing yall last night but👀
[fullsun]: the fart thing is true👀
[nakamoto]: i rest my case
[broccoli johnny]: one day mark is gonna fart and it’ll poison you all
[nakamoto]: I heard hes poisoned a couple of people already🧐
[marker]: DUDE
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[New Message] from mark LEE 10:11AM, Hey can I ask you something?
[you] 10:12AM, sure whats up?
[you] 10:12AM, you okay?
[mark LEE] 10:13AM, So um ;//
[mark LEE] 10:13AM, My farts dont annoy you do they?
[you] 10:14AM, LOL mARK
[mark LEE] 10:14AM, What ?! what!!!!
[mark LEE] 10:14AM, I’m serious!!!
[you] 10:15AM, its been like 3 days since that conversation
[mark LEE] 10:15AM, And I havent been able to fart in front of you since!!
[you] 10:15AM, LMAAOOO MARKKKK
[mark LEE] 10:16AM, Babe I’m deadass!!!
[you] 10:16AM, yuta was just joking stupid
[mark LEE] 10:17AM, :/
[mark LEE] 10:17AM, I know
[mark LEE] 10:17AM, But
[you] 10:18AM, but?
[mark LEE] 10:18AM, I fart
[mark LEE] 10:18AM, like
[mark LEE] 10:18AM, a lot
[you] 10:19AM, omg mark
[you] 10:19AM, it doesnt matter!! I think its cute
[mark LEE] 10:19AM, What?!
[you] 10:19AM, when you fart youre cute
[you] 10:20AM, when you sneeze youre cute
[you] 10:20AM, when you talk youre cute
[you] 10:20AM, even when you just breathe youre fucking cute
[you] 10:20AM, I dont care about your farts
[mark LEE] 10:21AM, You’re weird
[you] 10:21AM, ask the groupchat if you dont believe me
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[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]
[marker]: Anyways guys
[junguwu]: ya
[marker]: Am I cute?
[fullsun]: no
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[New Message] from cute idiot 9:37PM, Where are you?
[cute idiot] 9:37PM, Babe
[cute idiot] 9:37PM, The bath is gonna get cold man
[you] 9:40PM, we got a problem
[cute idiot] 9:40PM, What? No lighter? Not even matchsticks?
[you] 9:40PM, johnjae are here
[cute idiot] 9:41PM, !???!?!?!?!!!
[cute idiot] 9:41PM, whAT
[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Like in the dorm here?!?!??
[you] 9:41PM, yea you dummy
[cute idiot] 9:41PM, Shit whAT
[you] 9:42PM, wtf happened to ‘no one is coming home till late today’ !???!!
[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I
[cute idiot] 9:42PM, I DIDNT KNOW I SWEAR OMG
[cute idiot] 9:42PM, wHAT DID U SAY TO THEM
[you] 9:43PM, I look like a psycho mark
[cute idiot] 9:43PM, tHATS WHAT YOU SAID?
[you] 9:43PM, nO
[you] 9:44PM, they caught me… in the kitchen…. going through the drawers
[you] 9:44PM, with just your tshirt on…
[you] 9:44PM, my hair is wet af mark
[cute idiot] 9:45PM, oh god
[you] 9:45PM, how was i supposed to explain myself ?!
[you] 9:45PM, tell them my hair is wet because I just climbed out of the bath i was sharing with their roommate ?!!?
[you] 9:45PM, tell them i needed something to light the candles beside the fucking bubble bath ?!??
[cute idiot] 9:45PM, Shit shit shit
[you] 9:46PM, and all because you couldnt get out of the tub without injuring your broken-arm ??!
[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my gof
[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Please tell me that is not what you said
[cute idiot] 9:46PM, Oh my god
[cute idiot] 9:46PM, This is so embarrassing
[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Dude
[cute idiot] 9:47PM, Why arnet you answering?!?!
[cute idiot] 9:47PM, What the fuc do I do
[you] 9:48PM, hold on theyre talking to me
[cute idiot] 9:48PM, I’m freakinghout
[you] 9:48PM, apparently theyre back early because they need to go prerecord nct nightnight
[you] 9:48PM, johnny needed to pick something up on the way
[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Oh god
[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Whdt do I do?!
[cute idiot] 9:48PM, Do I getr out!?
[you] 9:49PM, told them you were showering
[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit
[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Okay I’m turning on the shower
[cute idiot] 9:49PM, You know
[cute idiot] 9:49PM, For soubnd effects
[cute idiot] 9:49PM, Shit man shitr
[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wait
[cute idiot] 9:49PM, wb you?!
[cute idiot] 9:50PM, You didn’t dry yourself. Dude you didn’t even bring a towel
[cute idiot] 9:50PM, Hwo you gonna explain
[you] 9:51PM, told them your dumbass slipped
[you] 9:51PM, and I had to help you because of your arm
[you] 9:51PM, wait brb
[cute idiot] 9:51PM, Nooo dont brb me
[cute idiot] 9:52PM, I feel exposed now
[cute idiot] 9:52PM, Oh my god
[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the worst
[cute idiot] 9:52PM, This is the WORST
[cute idiot] 9:53PM, Babe?
[you] 9:57PM, okay theyre gone😪😪
[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Thank god
[cute idiot] 9:57PM, Did they believe you?
[you] 9:58PM, I fucking hope so
[you] 9:58PM, I’m coming back
[cute idiot] 9:58PM, Be quick ;/ I kinda made a mess
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[[foreign swaggers💯💯💯]]
[sexy boi ten]: just out of curiosity🧐
[sexy boi ten]: who here loves bubble baths?
[johns banana]: hmmmmmm idk man🤔 good question🤔
[jeffrey]: 😂😂😂
[kark]: Oh my god
[sexy boi ten]: I think one of us is a bubble bath enthusiast
[sexy boi ten]: but I just cant put my finger on it🧐
[kark]: Can’t believe you told ten
[johns banana]: told him what🤔🤔
[kark]: Don’t lie to me bro
[sexy boi ten]: i think youre the only one lying here
[kark]: 😨😨😨
[kark]: Jaehyun please help me
[jeffrey]: I heard there were candles
[kark]: 😧
[johns banana]: candles ?! 🤔 oh gasp🤧
[sexy boi ten]: so this is what you get up to when no ones around
[kark]: hahahaha noooo
[kark]: youre making it sound super weird man !!
[jeffrey]: lmfaaooo
[sexy boi ten]: this whole broken limb thing doesnt seem so bad now
[kark]: we didnt /do/ anything
[sexy boi ten]: why?😏 were you supposed have done something? 😏😏
[kark]: hahaha oh my god
[johns banana]: what are you tryna say mark🤗
[kark]: dude !!!!!!!
[kark]: youre all making this way weirder than it already is man
[jeffrey]: arent you the one making it weird?
[sexy boi ten]: johnny break my arm so i can get a bubble bath
[johns banana]: you dont have a girlfriend
[sexy boi ten]: i know
[sexy boi ten]: but i could have a boyfriend
[jeffrey]: you dont have a boyfriend either
[sexy boi ten]: then can you run me a bubble bath instead😘😘😘😘
[kark]: what
[johns banana]: depends… do I get to join
[kark]: wHAT
[johns banana]: I’ll be the mark to your y/n
[jeffrey]: this is going in my TMI
-
[New Message] from marks arm 4:15PM, They keep teasing me about the bath thing
[you] 4:15PM, so no more baths together?
[marks arm] 4:16PM, I didn’t say that........
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[New Message] from bunny doyoung 6:47PM, Change of plans
[bunny doyoung] 6:47PM, He’s already on the way to yours
[you] 6:48PM, what?!
[you] 6:48PM, I was about to leave
[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Sorry I couldnt stop him
[bunny doyoung] 6:49PM, Said there’s too many of us in the dorm at the moment lmao
[bunny doyoung] 6:50PM, He’s such a kid
[you] 6:50PM, ffs mark
[you] 6:51PM, thanks do
[bunny doyoung] 6:51PM, Of course
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[you] 6:53PM, mark wth
[you] 6:53PM, doyoung said youre coming here
[marks eggs] 6:55PM, Sorry baby
[marks eggs] 6:55PM, It’s way too hectic back there
[you] 6:56PM, you know I dont mind
[marks eggs] 6:56PM, I do this time
[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I want alone time with you
[you] 6:57PM, but I made food for the boys
[marks eggs] 6:57PM, I’ll eat it all :)
[you] 6:58PM, marrrrrkk
[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Too late I’m outside
[marks eggs] 6:58PM, Open up
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[New Message] ty track 1:00AM, He’s not coming back tonight is he?
[you] 1:01AM, defo not
[you] 1:01AM, hes asleep on my lap atm
[ty track] 1:02AM, Sigh
[ty track] 1:02AM, Fine, make sure he wakes up early
[ty track] 1:03AM, He has to be back by 7am, we have a shoot in the morning
[you] 1:03AM, okay sure thing
[ty track] 1:03AM, Get some rest too
[you] 1:04AM, thanks tae you too💚
[ty track] 1:04AM, Goodnight💚
[you] 1:05AM, night :)
-
[[dreamies but not rlly]]
[pudu]: what time did you say you were going to come over again?
[you]: before 10 why?
[pudu]: because marks trying to break up renjun and jaemin from wrestling
[pudu]: with one arm
[jenojam]: is that what all that yelling is?
[you]: hyuck
[you]: why are you texting me when you can help him out
[pudu]: y/n thats a dumb question and you know it
[dolphinle]: such a dumb question
[you]: why arent any of you doing anything????????
[pudu]: why dont you just come over sooner ^^
[you]: hyuck I cant I’m running errands atm
[dolphinle]: see y/n is running errands hyung
[you]: thanks chenle
[pudu]: shutup chenle
[you]: wheres jisung
[jisung park]: staying out of the mess
[you]: good.
[you]: one less dreamie to worry about
[jisung park]: youre welcome
[pudu]: okay they stopped play fighting :/
[jenojam]: because mark says his arm hurts
[you]: you guys are the worst
[pudu]: *best
[moomin]: you guys are snitches
[dolphinle]: and snitches get stitches
[jaemin<3]: renjun broke my neck
[moomin]: did not
[moomin]: your stupid neck happened to fall into my hands
[pudu]: LMAOO
[jaemin<3]: :0 can u believe this
[you]: is mark okay?
[jenojam]: no
[mark sucks]: Yes
[mark sucks]: hahahaha just carry on with your errands and come at 10 I have this unser contrl
[mark sucks]: *Under
[mark sucks]: *Control
[pudu]: HAHA what lies
[jisung park]: hyung doesnt have anything under control
[jaemin<3]: youre not going to ask if I’m okay? :(
[moomin]: jaemin ur still breathing right?
[moomin]: yea thats what I thought
[dolphinle]: ye thats what he thought
[jaemin<3]: I didnt even say anything yet!!
[pudu]: LMFAAOO
[you]: jeno help
[jenojam]: je-no thank you
-
[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]
[tytrack]: well then who was it?
[nakamoto]: I think johnny was the last one to use the vacuum
[marker]: Babe can you pick up a box on the way ;/ we ranm out lastr night
[nakamoto]: .................
[fullsun]: well okay. this was fun. g2g. forever. ✌️✌️✌️
[doyoung]: Only mark would do this.
[nakamoto]: 🤡🤡🤡🤡
[doyoung]: Seriously only mark.
[marker]: Shit!!!
[marker]: Fucvbk man
[you]: wrong chat you fat loser
-
[canada mark] 7:00PM, Shit baby I’m so soryr
[you] 7:00PM, you’re the biggest dummy😂😂😂
-
[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]
[junguwu]: a box of what?
[tytrack]: what the fuck mark
[junguwu]: oh
[marker]: Dude I didn’t mean to!!!
[broccoli johnny]: this is why he left the dorm so quick lmfao
[marker]: Baby I’m so so so sorry I’ll make it up for you tonight
[junguwu]: :0
-
[you] 7:05PM, wRONG CHAT AGAIN STUPID
[canada mark] 7:05PM, FCUK
-
[[theres too many ppl in this gc. mark pls exit😘]]
[nakamoto]: jc mark🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡
[fullsun]: can we push the gc name into full gear now?
[fullsun]: it’s no longer a joke.
[marker]: IM IN SO MANY GROUPCHATS ITS HARD OKAY
-
[you] 7:07PM, you’re lucky you have a broken arm or else
[canada mark] 7:08PM, Dude I’m so sorry. Like really.
[canada mark] 7:08PM, I was rushing in case you left the store already ;/ sorry :(
[canada mark] 7:08PM, I’ll do whatever you want ! promise.
[you] 7:09PM, you can barely do anything with that broken arm stupid
[you] 7:09PM, its okay😂
[canada mark] 7:09PM, Really?
[you] 7:10PM, lets just say you owe me one
‘you changed [canada mark] to [stupid mark]’
[stupid mark] 7:11PM, Yeah okay. I deserve that one.
-
[New Message] from stupid mark 7:24AM, Can I call you?
[stupid mark] 7:24AM, I seriously hate texting ;/
[you] 7:25AM, is it because of the wrong groupchat thing or your cast?
[stupid mark] 7:25AM, ......both lol
[you] 7:25AM, okay but I’m in bed bby its so early
[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Perfect!! then you don’t have to move !
[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Just close your eyes and talk to me :^)
[you] 7:26AM, you can talk to everyone else whos awake :^)
[stupid mark] 7:25AM, Everyones getting their hair done and stuff
[stupid mark] 7:26AM, And I’m handicapped let me call you.
[you] 7:26AM, wooooow ‘handicapped’ you can’t text me
[Incoming Video Call] stupid mark 7:26PM
[stupid mark] 7:2APM, Pick up!! please!!
-
[New Message] from sore loser 11:20PM, :((((
[you] 11:21PM, mark?
[you] 11:21PM, whats wrong?
[sore loser] 11:22PM, Do you want to come with me to the doctors get my cast off tomorrow?
[you] 11:22PM, huh????
[you] 11:22PM, I mean yeah sure but
[you] 11:22PM, whats with the sad face?
[sore loser] 11:23PM, No! I’m happy! but sad ;/
[sore loser] 11:23PM, I get to be on stage again but ;( I can’t play damsel in distress anymore haha
[sore loser] 11:23PM, If I call you over, you’ll still come right?
[you] 11:24PM, depends.........
[sore loser] 11:24PM, See!!
[you] 11:24PM, I’m just kidding lmao
[sore loser] 11:24PM, Oh
[sore loser] 11:24PM, So... You’ll still shampoo my hair sometimes? ;/ or like sit on my lap,,and stuff ;/// ??
[you] 11:25PM, you know I’ll do all those things regardless whether your arm is broken or not
[sore loser] 11:25PM, You’re the best
[you] 11:25PM, plus you still owe me one :^)
[sore loser] 11:25PM, Oh yeah! I do !!
‘you changed [sore loser] to [<3]’
[<3] 11:26PM, Hahaha cute
[<3] 11:26PM, Okay :))))
[<3] 11:26PM, I’ll give you what I owe you tomorrow after we go doctors ;) <3
[you] 11:27PM, perfect
[<3] 11:27PM, Yeah, perfect :))
-
[New Message] from <3 9:34AM, Yeah, oops. Not so perfect..... omg I’m sorry
[you] 9:34AM, yeah your arm is like jelly its weird
[<3] 9:34AM, Hahahahaha
[<3] 9:34AM, In three weeks then?
[New Message] from <3 9:36AM, You can’t just leave me on read !!!!!!!!!
[You are Video Calling <3 ...] 9:36AM
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For an IronStrange prompt: Steve is making Tony feel like crap(cause mcu Steve dosent care about feelings) and Tony' s day is just getting worse and worse until strange makes him feel better. [Insert lenny face]
this is gonna be a two-parter!!! also I took some liberties w/ the prompt, I hope you don’t mind!!! next part is the fuckin’ and a wrap up of the divorce lmao
Other Words For “Splitting Up” Part 1
Tony Stark was hard at work in his lab, bobbing his head to Def Leppard as he worked on his suit’s thrusters, tweaking a few things here and there. It was a typical day for him, so far - wake up, have breakfast (coffee), read the paper, check stocks, head downstairs and get to work for God knew how many hours. He was just getting ready for the next step, lunch (coffee) when his music suddenly went quiet, and the doors slid open.
“Hey, what did I say about - “
He fell silent as a stack of papers fell to the nearby work table with a heavy, thick thud. A thud of finality, Tony reflected, as he looked up at none other than Steve Rogers standing before him, hands on his muscle-y, muscle-y hips.
“Uh, hey, Steve. Did you - ?”
“Just read the papers, Tony.”
Tony paused, blinking rapidly for a moment before nodding. “Uh, yeah. Okay.” He set his wrench aside, wiping his hands clean of grease before picking up the top paper off the stack. His eyes immediately snapped back to Steve, his jaw dropping.
“You’re - serving me?”
“Let’s just face facts, Tony. We haven’t been together in a long time. Hell, we haven’t slept in the same bed in years.”
“Uh, yeah, and whose fault is - “
“Stop,” Steve said at once, raising a hand. “This is why I - brought a lawyer into it. Because I’m sick of having these arguments with you.”
Tony scoffed, standing, fuming slightly as he still had to look up at Steve. “Yknow, you wanted to get married in the first place.”
“And now I wanna get divorced,” Steve answered tiredly. “Alright? Just - read the papers, Tony. Please.”
Tony deflated slightly, looking over at the stack on his desk. “I… um. Yeah. I will. Just - leave. Okay? Just get out.”
Steve hesitated for just a moment, looking as if he wanted to say something else. With those damn - puppy dog eyes of his. Tony shook his head firmly, turning away.
“I’m serious, Rogers. Bye.”
He closed his eyes as he heard the doors slide shut, pressing his fists firmly against his forehead. He aimed a kick at his tool box, sending wrenches and screwdrivers flying every which way all over his workshop.
“Fuck!”
He’d known he and Steve were over. He’d known it for a long time. But lawyers meant meetings, and meetings meant going places together, and doing that when they hadn’t been seen publicly together in so long meant press. Press meant stories, stories meant attention, and attention meant Tony being the villain. He could see the headlines already.
Stark Tosses Out All-American Hero!
Marriage Bed Gone Icier than Cap?
Star-Spangled Couple Calls it Quits! Stark’s Riches to Blame?
“Fuck,” he muttered again, folding his arms over his chest with a long sigh. He saw Dum-E and U starting to move towards the tools, and he snapped his fingers to get their attention.
“No, no. Stop. I’ll clean it up, you two - you two take a break. Okay? We’ve all earned a break.”
He bit his lip as he turned back to the papers. “Time for some light reading,“ he mumbled, hefting the stack and heading upstairs, leaving his workshop a dismantled mess.
They’d tried to be discreet.
With the whole - Infinity War thing getting in the way, they’d had to postpone their divorce proceedings for a bit. Tony saved the world - maybe the headlines wouldn’t be so harsh - and Steve helped, providing ground support and a somewhat-trusted ally and go-between for the Wakandans.
They’d tried to be discreet.
Everyone picked up on it. Bruce and Thor, freshly returned, immediately noticed Tony’s wedding band missing, once they’d all joined back together after the mess on Titan. Peter had it figured out minute one, smart kid. Tony wasn’t sure he’d be able to forget the looks of pity on everyone’s faces.
And all of that Thanos shit, on top of getting divorced?
When Happy pulled up to their “secret meeting place” and Tony could already see cameras flashing, he nearly punched his window out. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he muttered, peering out to try to see who was there.
“Captain Rogers must be here already,” Happy groused, equally as displeased.
“Fuck this,” Tony sighed, shoving himself out of the car. He ignored the questions hurled at him by the press, heading inside and meeting up with his lawyer in the lobby of the building.
“I was told there wouldn’t be press coverage? That this was just a - strategy meeting?”
“I’m sorry, Mr. Stark, it would appear - “
“Forget it,” Tony said, waving his hand. “Just - show me where the big guy is.”
————————————
“…and he’s suing me for alimony. Steve fuckin’ Rogers wants my money. What lifestyle did I get him used to? 2018 instead of 1942?”
Bruce offered a tight smile, not sure what to say. “I - dunno, Tones,” he tried, ducking behind the screen he was currently engrossed with. “Maybe he’s just - trying to rile you up.”
“He wants money for his fuckin’ Soviet boy toy is what it is,” Tony growled, swearing as he accidentally caught his finger in a tiny piece of machinery. “No, yknow what? Fuck these blasters. They’re fine the way they are. Fuck me, Brucey, I… What am I gonna do?“
Bruce poked his head back up, shrugging. “I… You’re gonna get through it, Tony. You’re - Tony Stark. You’ve been through worse than a divorce.”
Tony smiled a bit, getting up to stretch. “I’m gonna make a smoothie, and you just earned yourself one. Want one?”
“Sure. The - strawberry one you do. S’really good.”
Tony let his smile grow a bit more, heading over to the little bullet blender he kept in the workshop now.
“So,” Bruce started once the noise had died down and the requisite smoothies had been distributed, “what about that doctor?”
“Hm?”
“Strange. Stephen.”
“Oh. Oh, him,” Tony said, setting his cup aside. “I mean, well, yknow. We - hooked up. Once or twice.”
“Yeah?”
Tony nodded. “Uh huh.”
“And what’s he like, then?” Bruce asked.
“Are you a middle school girl?”
Bruce shrugged. “It’s taking your mind off of Divorcee in Chief.”
Tony sighed, fiddling with his smoothie straw. “He’s… really smart. Like, wickedly smart. And he’s funny! He makes me laugh every time I’m with him, like when we get coffee or whatever. And he’s a monster in bed. Present company excluded.”
“Har, har.”
“I dunno if this is TMI, but - Bruce, I nearly wept. That is how insanely good the sex was. It’s like he was in my head, but I wasn’t - afraid, yknow? He just paid attention to everything I wanted.”
“It’s a little TMI.”
Tony snorted, giving Bruce a look. “I had to hear about it from Thor the first time you guys slept together. I’ve earned this.”
Bruce flushed. “Sorry about that. Again.”
“Hey, yknow what? It’s all good. We’re just a couple of friends, shootin’ the shit.” He turned back to his blasters, poking at the metal a bit before sighing. “I just… I’m trying not to get too involved in anything, yknow? Until me and Steve are done, and - for a while after that. So I don’t fuck anything up.”
“Hey,” Bruce said, reaching out to pat Tony’s arm. “I get it. And I’m here. For - when you need to talk. Unless it’s about wizard sex, then I’ll have to pass…”
“Alright, Banner. I get it,” Tony laughed, getting back to work. “Thanks, pal.”
“Always, Tones.”
————————————
It all went downhill from there.
Meeting after meeting after meeting. And every time, Tony seemed to get there last, and the press was waiting to pounce. He refused to give Steve any kind of money - after the little stunt in Siberia? He was lucky that Tony hadn’t filed, that Tony had wanted to avoid publicity. And to what end did he owe Steve money? Sure, he’d had Stark Tower back then, sure, but he hadn’t spoiled Steve. By any stretch of the imagination.
And that’s why Steve was dragging this out. Tony just knew that it had to be the reason.
And it was starting to work. Tony was getting tired of fighting, and tired of being hounded by paparazzi and cameras everywhere he went.
He was having trouble sleeping, and he kept reading over the documents again and again, trying to figure out what the hell he was going to do. He was currently locked up in his workshop again, bent over his workbench with his fingers tangled tightly in his hair, his eyes scanning over sentences he’d read a thousand times already. How much longer could this go on for?
“Tony?”
He jumped up, scattering the papers over the floor. He turned quickly, sagging with relief when he saw who it was.
“Stephen. Thank God for you.”
He marched over to the sorcerer, planting his face in the middle of the other man’s chest. Stephen’s warm hands came to rest gently on the back of Tony’s neck, kneading at the muscles there.
“You’re so tense,” Stephen murmured.
“It’s my soon-to-be-ex husband,” Tony explained, nuzzling against Stephen’s robes. “Mm, you smell so good… Like a spice market…"
“Was in Nepal this morning,” Stephen said, smiling a bit. “Everything okay?”
“No,” Tony answered bluntly. “I get voicemails from Steve every twenty fucking seconds asking if I confirmed for the next meeting or not. He’s got this huge sum of money he wants hanging over my head, and - on top of all of that - he’s out parading around with that - monster, and no one seems to be risking their journalistic integrity to print the truth! At least I’m keeping us somewhat quiet.”
Stephen let Tony vent, settling down on a nearby work stool. He nodded as he listened, watching Tony pace back and forth, pushing down thoughts of how cute he was. So little.
“Sorry,” Tony sighed, noticing Stephen listening. “I just… I’m really strung out over this. Yknow?”
“Need a bit of… Stress relief?”
Tony stopped talking mid-sentence, turning to face Stephen. His pupils dilated almost instantly, and he was on the sorcerer in a second. “Please. God, please.”
“My place,” Stephen urged. “Quieter. Further away from the cameras.”
“Take me away, magic man.”
Stephen smiled, opening a portal and pushing Tony through, immediately pinning him to his bed.
“Oh, I intend to, Mr. Stark.”
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