#this is three months worth of reading
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hm. im not very big on new years resolutions, they're too much pressure. but... perhaps i can handle new years Desires
this year i want to complete a lil comic, fan-based or otherwise. i'd like to also complete some sort of storyboard/animatic thing. i want to develop a coloring style that i can be proud of. i want to get to a point with my dragons where they can have a coherent story & world to live in. i want to think of so many fun, trivial facts about my characters. i want to post more about them. i want to write and post an original thing, be it 1k words or 10k. i want to finish the rough draft of a book i outlined. i want to be kinder to myself. i want to create more gift art for others. i want to put more effort & care & love into my art. i want to force myself into the world and figure out how to live. i want to make an irl friend. try a new craft - scrapbooking, maybe, or making an enamel pin. i want to finish that last commission and make a new sheet for more. i want to be freer with myself. i want to finish at least three fics. i want to go whale watching again. i want to improve my art, especially in the matter of drawing people. i want to bake something tasty and share it with the neighbors. i want to be content with existing. i want to have more good things in life to list on bad days. i want to build a birdhouse.
#i also... want to buy sort & jar more clay sprinkles#and unpack everything in my room#last place i lived in for three years had boxes from that move that i never opened#not this time... this time Everything will find a place...#maybe ill try poetry! maybe ill volunteer on a tallship again!#maybe ill change my hair! spice up my style! leash train my cat!#i want to improve my writing as well#and read more books! even if im just rereading!#No! i want to read priory of the orange tree!#absolutely unprompted#the last few years ive just... had very little hopes or desires#it was just one month after the next with the knowledge that id do nothing the next year too#not this year please. not this year....#i want to Try. i want to live. please? please#the beginning of this year is gonna be tough and my life's stability is being threatened#but! i will hold on hope with bloody teeth. im gonna make it this time. i want to change for the better#and i will. thats my only resolution. the others are maybes and what ifs#but i Am going to change. i want to be in the world and so i shall be. i want to be a person and so i will make it happen#clinging to that this year. im worth it! this time i really am worth it.
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anyone know that fic where zuko discovers he can bend people’s inner flames and just fuckin. drops some dudes dead. what is it i’m desperate
#i can’t even remember if it was zukka or a gen fic tbh ugh#this is the problem w reading three years worth of fics within a few months#it’s all a blur#i swear i would’ve bookmarked it but can’t find ??#zukka
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hey y'all! so if you've been reading the tags on my posts you know i've been writing a novel - and it's done (again)!! hurray!!! which means i'm now on the lookout for beta readers :D (again)
(if you've seen me make this post before, no you haven't)
A Dance With Death is a 83k word portal fantasy about demons, the afterlife, and what it means to be a victim of fate.
A blurb and a quick summary of what i'm hoping for is under the read more for anyone interested:
"Demons are generally expected to go undiscovered in the living world.
Azazel is not one to hit general expectations.
Mia, though, a weathered pizzeria worker and now accidental-demon-finder, has seen worse. A mutual agreement flourishes from her discovery – Mia doesn’t see Hell, and Azazel stays in the living world in return. It seems simple enough at first, but the tiny kitchens of the pizzeria prove an unfortunately intimate place if you don’t want to make friends with your demonic coworkers.
Then Mia introduces her boyfriend, Jake, and suddenly their blooming friendship feels a lot more dangerous. He’s six feet of jealousy and rage, and he doesn’t like how close Azazel’s secret has made them. They’re not sure how far he’s willing to go to keep them away from her.
After all, the Harbinger of Death is only willing to wait so long."
Since this is my second round of betas, this is more focused on the parts i've changed. general story flow is my main concern, as well as thoughts on the ending. i'm not too worried about a deadline on this since i'll be busy myself, but around a month or so would be nice if possible.
If you've read this far - thank you! If this is something that takes your interest, please leave a comment on this post or drop me a message and we can talk about it in a little more detail :)
#not writing#beta reader#beta request#hey yall im back at it againnnnnn#but hey the novels done!#and by done i mean its ready to be scrutinised and thrown through three months worth of edits again#if you think you'd like read a little bit of my personal work and point out every spelling mistake i've made (a lot) this is for you!!!#and now the novels “done” and about to be busy with readers i can focus on this account a bit more :D#in between the job hunting and the agent emailing at least
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“don’t know how long we stay there, just that we don’t leave until we’re ready, still flushed and a bit rumpled but with at least three months’ worth of lost kissing accounted for.”
(Painted Devils, Margaret Owen)
(emojis courtesy of mothcharm! @mothcharmshop)
#‘with at least three months’ worth of lost kissing accounted for.’ aaaAHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭#im f i n e im definitely not thinking about how its been well over three months since I’ve seen my partners 😭#(emoji credit to mothcharm!)#little thieves#painted devils#margaret owen#no one cares sage#sage reads
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Christians: Nothing should be over the Lord! You should give your money to the church because it belongs to Him!
Me, deciding I love my cat more than Jesus:
#This is $66 worth of stuff btw#I got litter food odor remover toys and treats all for $66 dollars and it'll last months hopefully#I buy my cat's food and little in bulk that's why I prommy I'm not risking my livelihood for my cat#I bought 20lbs of food and like 50lbs of litter#I also bought his treats in bulk this time cause it's like 3 times as many treats for a few dollars less#wait no they were out of stock of the 50 so I got 40lbs#They also had a sale on toys so I got my cat new toys cause he rips thru his so quickly#so I buy him new ones when they're on sale#My roommate once bought him like a $7 bag of crinkle toys and he ripped into all of them within months#I sometimes buy him plush dog toys cause they're sturdier but he doesn't like them as much#he specifically likes ripping his toys apart#that or he respects Jewish tradition so much he refuses to rip up the Hanukkah dog toys I got him#since he's half Jewish on my found family's side#he only plays with the gelt piece but won't play with the dreidel or menorah plushies#I think cause it crinkles the most of the three. the other two are more squeaky and sturdy#n e ways I love u bulk sales my cat will be living in luxary no matter what#he will not know struggle a day in his life#thank u for reading my rambles about how much I love my cat he's a devious creature and my son#ex christian#religious trauma
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➵ Fic edit for Musée des Beaux Arts by @oneofthewednesdays
“About suffering they were never wrong, the old Masters: how well they understood its human position.” —W.H. Auden Six portraits of life and death in Ketterdam featuring the interwoven stories of Wylan Van Eck and Kaz Brekker.
My edit. Please do not repost without permission. Credit: "Trouble" by Ron Hicks, “Léonore 4” by Marta Bevacqua (edited), "Anguish" by August Friedrich Schenk (edited), Unsplash, Pixabay, several paintings named in chapter titles above.
#oneofthewednesdays#<3#six of crows#soc edit#soc fanfiction#wylan van eck#kaz brekker#wesper fic club#my edits#I promised this THREE MONTHS AGO but my life exploded#and I didn't have my laptop#so it's very late but!!!#ashlynn was extremely understanding and patient so I went all out with this edit and I'm pretty pleased with how it turned out <3#hopefully it was worth the wait!#go read the fic y'all!! <3
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I dont have any recent content because I've hit a major art block bump, but I do know I have a few people who just interact with my account because of jurrasic park, so I'm considering going back to my other sketch book and sharing all the doodles I did while listening to the audio book bc I know at least the four other people obsessed with these traumatized scientists will go crazy just like me.
#a dumb and stinky glasses production#vaugley tagging it bc its not really related#more like an open question on if its worth it to try and get anything intelligable from that two months of inspiration#dinot3#because anyone reading this thinking “hm glasses whos the four people??” well YOU for starters#but also the three other dungeon crawlers searching for the chaotic bisexual dinosaurs survivor polycule
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san lang
#tgcf#hua cheng#san lang#my doodles#quick sanity scribble#in between kanji practice#and three end-of-semester essays#and three months’ worth of catch-up reading#and ‘phd_proposal.pages’#which is currently a paragraph of joke text#this is fine#🙃#not mdzs
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Is it too silly to title this latest izzy bingo fic after a song from the Used
bc maybe it is but if it is then i have to think up a new title and
Hm. Do not want to
#text post#like it's a lil overly angsty but it genuinely kinda fits so like#like 'the taste of ink' as a title for a fic abt izzy like#feeling he's missing out on a source of fun and intimacy with ed bc he can't read or write well#so instead he's messenger for lil sexy notes between ed and jack and trying to be fine with it#even tho ed is v much like but we could try! you could learn!#izzy's just too hesitant and unsure it'll be worth the effort (aka if he can learn enough to write what he really wants to Ed) to do it#fuck it I may as well I'm a millennial goth/emo kid grown up i'm allowed like#one used or mcr song as fic title every three months or something right fldkasjfas
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watched half bad: the bastard son & the devil himself and it was soooo good. googled it only to find out that it’s been cancelled 🙂
#it only came out on oct 28th#they wasted absolutely NO time cancelling it#the main three were in like a poly relationship#the main guy (presumably) bi#fucked up fantasy show about warring witches#and it’s been cancelled after little more than a month#i’m actually mad#lemme go read the book ig#byler#tagging byler because i feel like a good few of y’all would like the show#even though there’s only one season it’s worth it honestly#hbtbsatdm#tbsatdh
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#this is a scream into the void don't read unless you want to#i'm so done and i just want next week to arrive already#i don't know anything about what's happening next week#i haven't been told anything other than get there for the morning#i haven't seen anyone apart from my family really for weeks#all my friends have been busy and my best friend came over just to do induction work#we didn't talk at all#i'm lonely and i miss my friends#it's been three weeks since i last spent any quality time with any of them and i'm used to seeing them every day#to top it all off i have to be in the same room as my ex on monday and the last time i saw them through the window of a coffee shop#it still felt like i was being punched in the stomach and it's been 5 months#i don't know what i'm doing next and i don't know anything and everything was so clearly laid out in my head for what i was doing before#and i don't even know what subjects i'm doing because i still haven't fully decided#the only thing i know is that i'm doing a comparison of birdhouse on the side which will be nice#i just want to know what i'm up against and what's going to happen next#what my general direction is because i have no fucking clue at this point#my head's been a mess since the week before results day and while i'm miles better i'm still not right#i want to know if all of it is going to be worth it#if what comes next is going to be worth all the effort i put into it and i'm going to enjoy it and so many other things#i'm so sorry for clogging your dash with this i just don't have anywhere to put this other than a diary and i don't have one on me right now#vetty talks#delete later#screaming into the void
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lol researching how to grow pot rn and wowzers this is intense.
#maybe net year if i grow a fourth plant i'll take after my childhood neighbor and just throw it in a pot and leave it alone for four months#apparently the plant was massive and had an insane amount of buds with literally no upkeep#but nah#reading up on how a single plant can provide 1/2lbs worth of weed and im like YO#and here i am gonna do 3 plants.#i prolly will make some edibles honestly especially with the shake (stems leaves etc)#cause you know i aint about wasting anything#but no seriously it's so intense the amount of fertilizer you need to keep track of#i worked under the table at a dispensery when i was 14 and it was HARD FUCKING WORK and i was only pouring the fertilized water into the#pots and cleaning out the buckets and lifting the soil and transplanting when it was time for a repot#but that was also indoor plants and im doing outdoor which is way easier#i wont have to adjust the lights or the temperature or the fan.#but yeah like i said i wasnt even working out the fertilizer back then or the space requirements i was just doing whati was told#now i have to figure all this shit out on my own lol#but no i figure if i fit it into a cage that my plug is able to grow 6 massive plants in... i should be able to have 3 absolute hugh mongus#plants by fall. im gonna let them get as tall as they possibly can#i found out they can get over 10 ft tall earlier and it made me full on chuckle at the idea of my 5'0 self being towered over by a plant#x2 my height.... (not only one plant--but three.) and then SMOKING that shit#they say one plant lasts around 8 months of smoking.#besties those three plants are gonna last me 8 months of smoking LOLLLLLL#i could even make money from this honestly#i dont really like edibles but i know the people around here go fucking wild for them#catch me outsideeeee
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for my most neglected audience i fed more posts into the pokespe sideblog's queue
#:)#sorry this is taking so long there's just a lot of posts to move (200 blog pages worth!) and i have so much going on at all times#my medium term goal is to find a way to restructure my three ongoing projects to fit them around the phd stuff when that starts this autumn#the umineko liveblog should take care of itself once i'm caught back up and have finished the 1-10 writeup#i have been spending this week doing secret behind the scenes activities to make ficposting more sustainable#and i think i have a pokespe plan once i continue reading new volumes after the queue is done#but that's something i'll have to discuss with people closer to the time#anyway pokespe posts are running till the end of the month. now to get back to this secret fic thing
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How’s that one-shot coming along? :)
hahahahahaha
well....
it's going great actually! it's just...not a one shot anymore. it kind of got away from me a little. and now it's a multi chapter. not a long one, just 3-5 chapters, but uhhh yeah. it fully ran away from me. i have like 50k of this thing written and it's still going.
#november was a wild month!#i haven't written like that in years#it felt great#but now i've got a monster on my hands and it's way longer than intended it to be#i just hope it's worth the wait for the three people who will read it lol#asks#anon#becky writes fic (or attempts to anyway)
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#Warning: I talk about nausea and vomitting and weight loss medication in these tags so. Be careful.#The worst part of taking a weight loss medication is the unbearable feeling that you’re about to throw up#And knowing that you very well might throw up even despite anti-nausea medication and pepto bismal#The first time I took this medication a month ago (it’s a weekly injection but I wait 2 weeks between shots because of this)#I got so unbearably sick. I threw up on three separate occasions on consecutive days and it was the worst#My dad also took the medication and had a terrible reaction too#What’s strange is that the last time I took my shot 2 weeks ago I was fine#Legit no nausea or vomitting whatsoever#Today… definitely not.#I think it may have to do with how much I eat#The first time I took the shot I overate to try and counter the nausea#(It may seem counter intuitive but on lower doses of this medication being hungry would also make me nauseous so I would eat more to try#and counter the nausea. But clearly that was not the right decision oof)#Last time though I didn’t eat that much from the get go and was fine.#Legit I was eating less than 1000 calories a day. Which in and of itself is honestly bad…#This time I ate a lot more like the first time and now I’m nauseous again#I think I may have to stop this medication outright… it’s helping me lose weight yeah. But at what cost?#(Also I know that being overweight isn’t a terrible thing and all. But I personally don’t feel comfortable physically at a higher weight#but struggle a lot to lose weight because of pain and lethargy. So the weight loss medication sucks but I find the side effects worth it..#for the most part that is. The nausea and vomitting is a bit much for me though…)#Anyway sorry for the rambling tags#I’m using this as a way to distract myself from the nausea while the anti-nausea medication hopefully kicks in#Luckily it is helping and I’m starting to feel a bit less nauseous…#Knock on wood of course#Ugh never mind.#I got up from#the bathroom and my stomach started roiling again#Time to sit quietly in the living room and sip water with a cool fan on me to try and settle my stomach again…#Of course this woke me up too so it’s like… 6 am and I’m the only one in my household awake#Anyway sorry again for the ramble. Thanks for reading if you got this far. .-.
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#i think something broke/changed in me a few months ago#there was this person i used to role play with and they're an amazing writer their stories made me feel things no other story made me feel#and i wanted to learn from them because they're one of the bests for me but then things changed and i couldn't start learning#and... the not so nice part of it was that they'd always talk about their writing negatively no matter how much i supported and praised the#and after a while i started feeling like it doesn't even worth for me to try and write because...#if the person whose writing i love and count as like the god of ‘show not tell’ hates their own writing then it's doesn't even worth trying#because i'll never be as good as they are#i write for myself and for the people who send me propmpts so it's not like i want my stories to be good for everybody#but if someone who's native in English and writes beautifully hates their own writing then how could i who's not native and has like less#than half of their vocabulary and skills be good enough?#before that i didn't have any problems i was okay with my writing because i was happy i could write in English at all#but since then i wrote like three stories or so in months#i try not to compare myself but... this just happened by itself because i loved their writing and they didn't and... yeah. i wish in writin#sense i could go back in the past#all i wanted from writing was to make me happy. i just wanted to enjoy it.#write stories about things i love. make others who love the same thing happy#but since i've read their stories i can't look at mine the same way as i could before#now they're shit because i can't use the same words i can't discribe things the same way and i don't feel those things when reading my#newer stories that i felt when reading theirs#this... this killed everything. and it's really sad.#but i really hope they like their writing a bit more since then ❤#my useless posts
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