#this is three months worth of reading
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anyone know that fic where zuko discovers he can bend people’s inner flames and just fuckin. drops some dudes dead. what is it i’m desperate
#i can’t even remember if it was zukka or a gen fic tbh ugh#this is the problem w reading three years worth of fics within a few months#it’s all a blur#i swear i would’ve bookmarked it but can’t find ??#zukka
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hey y'all! so if you've been reading the tags on my posts you know i've been writing a novel - and it's done (again)!! hurray!!! which means i'm now on the lookout for beta readers :D (again)
(if you've seen me make this post before, no you haven't)
A Dance With Death is a 83k word portal fantasy about demons, the afterlife, and what it means to be a victim of fate.
A blurb and a quick summary of what i'm hoping for is under the read more for anyone interested:
"Demons are generally expected to go undiscovered in the living world.
Azazel is not one to hit general expectations.
Mia, though, a weathered pizzeria worker and now accidental-demon-finder, has seen worse. A mutual agreement flourishes from her discovery – Mia doesn’t see Hell, and Azazel stays in the living world in return. It seems simple enough at first, but the tiny kitchens of the pizzeria prove an unfortunately intimate place if you don’t want to make friends with your demonic coworkers.
Then Mia introduces her boyfriend, Jake, and suddenly their blooming friendship feels a lot more dangerous. He’s six feet of jealousy and rage, and he doesn’t like how close Azazel’s secret has made them. They’re not sure how far he’s willing to go to keep them away from her.
After all, the Harbinger of Death is only willing to wait so long."
Since this is my second round of betas, this is more focused on the parts i've changed. general story flow is my main concern, as well as thoughts on the ending. i'm not too worried about a deadline on this since i'll be busy myself, but around a month or so would be nice if possible.
If you've read this far - thank you! If this is something that takes your interest, please leave a comment on this post or drop me a message and we can talk about it in a little more detail :)
#not writing#beta reader#beta request#hey yall im back at it againnnnnn#but hey the novels done!#and by done i mean its ready to be scrutinised and thrown through three months worth of edits again#if you think you'd like read a little bit of my personal work and point out every spelling mistake i've made (a lot) this is for you!!!#and now the novels “done” and about to be busy with readers i can focus on this account a bit more :D#in between the job hunting and the agent emailing at least
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“don’t know how long we stay there, just that we don’t leave until we’re ready, still flushed and a bit rumpled but with at least three months’ worth of lost kissing accounted for.”
(Painted Devils, Margaret Owen)
(emojis courtesy of mothcharm! @mothcharmshop)
#‘with at least three months’ worth of lost kissing accounted for.’ aaaAHHHHH 🥺🥺🥺😭😭😭#im f i n e im definitely not thinking about how its been well over three months since I’ve seen my partners 😭#(emoji credit to mothcharm!)#little thieves#painted devils#margaret owen#no one cares sage#sage reads
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Christians: Nothing should be over the Lord! You should give your money to the church because it belongs to Him!
Me, deciding I love my cat more than Jesus:
#This is $66 worth of stuff btw#I got litter food odor remover toys and treats all for $66 dollars and it'll last months hopefully#I buy my cat's food and little in bulk that's why I prommy I'm not risking my livelihood for my cat#I bought 20lbs of food and like 50lbs of litter#I also bought his treats in bulk this time cause it's like 3 times as many treats for a few dollars less#wait no they were out of stock of the 50 so I got 40lbs#They also had a sale on toys so I got my cat new toys cause he rips thru his so quickly#so I buy him new ones when they're on sale#My roommate once bought him like a $7 bag of crinkle toys and he ripped into all of them within months#I sometimes buy him plush dog toys cause they're sturdier but he doesn't like them as much#he specifically likes ripping his toys apart#that or he respects Jewish tradition so much he refuses to rip up the Hanukkah dog toys I got him#since he's half Jewish on my found family's side#he only plays with the gelt piece but won't play with the dreidel or menorah plushies#I think cause it crinkles the most of the three. the other two are more squeaky and sturdy#n e ways I love u bulk sales my cat will be living in luxary no matter what#he will not know struggle a day in his life#thank u for reading my rambles about how much I love my cat he's a devious creature and my son#ex christian#religious trauma
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I dont have any recent content because I've hit a major art block bump, but I do know I have a few people who just interact with my account because of jurrasic park, so I'm considering going back to my other sketch book and sharing all the doodles I did while listening to the audio book bc I know at least the four other people obsessed with these traumatized scientists will go crazy just like me.
#a dumb and stinky glasses production#vaugley tagging it bc its not really related#more like an open question on if its worth it to try and get anything intelligable from that two months of inspiration#dinot3#because anyone reading this thinking “hm glasses whos the four people??” well YOU for starters#but also the three other dungeon crawlers searching for the chaotic bisexual dinosaurs survivor polycule
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Is it too silly to title this latest izzy bingo fic after a song from the Used
bc maybe it is but if it is then i have to think up a new title and
Hm. Do not want to
#text post#like it's a lil overly angsty but it genuinely kinda fits so like#like 'the taste of ink' as a title for a fic abt izzy like#feeling he's missing out on a source of fun and intimacy with ed bc he can't read or write well#so instead he's messenger for lil sexy notes between ed and jack and trying to be fine with it#even tho ed is v much like but we could try! you could learn!#izzy's just too hesitant and unsure it'll be worth the effort (aka if he can learn enough to write what he really wants to Ed) to do it#fuck it I may as well I'm a millennial goth/emo kid grown up i'm allowed like#one used or mcr song as fic title every three months or something right fldkasjfas
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#this is a scream into the void don't read unless you want to#i'm so done and i just want next week to arrive already#i don't know anything about what's happening next week#i haven't been told anything other than get there for the morning#i haven't seen anyone apart from my family really for weeks#all my friends have been busy and my best friend came over just to do induction work#we didn't talk at all#i'm lonely and i miss my friends#it's been three weeks since i last spent any quality time with any of them and i'm used to seeing them every day#to top it all off i have to be in the same room as my ex on monday and the last time i saw them through the window of a coffee shop#it still felt like i was being punched in the stomach and it's been 5 months#i don't know what i'm doing next and i don't know anything and everything was so clearly laid out in my head for what i was doing before#and i don't even know what subjects i'm doing because i still haven't fully decided#the only thing i know is that i'm doing a comparison of birdhouse on the side which will be nice#i just want to know what i'm up against and what's going to happen next#what my general direction is because i have no fucking clue at this point#my head's been a mess since the week before results day and while i'm miles better i'm still not right#i want to know if all of it is going to be worth it#if what comes next is going to be worth all the effort i put into it and i'm going to enjoy it and so many other things#i'm so sorry for clogging your dash with this i just don't have anywhere to put this other than a diary and i don't have one on me right now#vetty talks#delete later#screaming into the void
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lol researching how to grow pot rn and wowzers this is intense.
#maybe net year if i grow a fourth plant i'll take after my childhood neighbor and just throw it in a pot and leave it alone for four months#apparently the plant was massive and had an insane amount of buds with literally no upkeep#but nah#reading up on how a single plant can provide 1/2lbs worth of weed and im like YO#and here i am gonna do 3 plants.#i prolly will make some edibles honestly especially with the shake (stems leaves etc)#cause you know i aint about wasting anything#but no seriously it's so intense the amount of fertilizer you need to keep track of#i worked under the table at a dispensery when i was 14 and it was HARD FUCKING WORK and i was only pouring the fertilized water into the#pots and cleaning out the buckets and lifting the soil and transplanting when it was time for a repot#but that was also indoor plants and im doing outdoor which is way easier#i wont have to adjust the lights or the temperature or the fan.#but yeah like i said i wasnt even working out the fertilizer back then or the space requirements i was just doing whati was told#now i have to figure all this shit out on my own lol#but no i figure if i fit it into a cage that my plug is able to grow 6 massive plants in... i should be able to have 3 absolute hugh mongus#plants by fall. im gonna let them get as tall as they possibly can#i found out they can get over 10 ft tall earlier and it made me full on chuckle at the idea of my 5'0 self being towered over by a plant#x2 my height.... (not only one plant--but three.) and then SMOKING that shit#they say one plant lasts around 8 months of smoking.#besties those three plants are gonna last me 8 months of smoking LOLLLLLL#i could even make money from this honestly#i dont really like edibles but i know the people around here go fucking wild for them#catch me outsideeeee
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for my most neglected audience i fed more posts into the pokespe sideblog's queue
#:)#sorry this is taking so long there's just a lot of posts to move (200 blog pages worth!) and i have so much going on at all times#my medium term goal is to find a way to restructure my three ongoing projects to fit them around the phd stuff when that starts this autumn#the umineko liveblog should take care of itself once i'm caught back up and have finished the 1-10 writeup#i have been spending this week doing secret behind the scenes activities to make ficposting more sustainable#and i think i have a pokespe plan once i continue reading new volumes after the queue is done#but that's something i'll have to discuss with people closer to the time#anyway pokespe posts are running till the end of the month. now to get back to this secret fic thing
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#Warning: I talk about nausea and vomitting and weight loss medication in these tags so. Be careful.#The worst part of taking a weight loss medication is the unbearable feeling that you’re about to throw up#And knowing that you very well might throw up even despite anti-nausea medication and pepto bismal#The first time I took this medication a month ago (it’s a weekly injection but I wait 2 weeks between shots because of this)#I got so unbearably sick. I threw up on three separate occasions on consecutive days and it was the worst#My dad also took the medication and had a terrible reaction too#What’s strange is that the last time I took my shot 2 weeks ago I was fine#Legit no nausea or vomitting whatsoever#Today… definitely not.#I think it may have to do with how much I eat#The first time I took the shot I overate to try and counter the nausea#(It may seem counter intuitive but on lower doses of this medication being hungry would also make me nauseous so I would eat more to try#and counter the nausea. But clearly that was not the right decision oof)#Last time though I didn’t eat that much from the get go and was fine.#Legit I was eating less than 1000 calories a day. Which in and of itself is honestly bad…#This time I ate a lot more like the first time and now I’m nauseous again#I think I may have to stop this medication outright… it’s helping me lose weight yeah. But at what cost?#(Also I know that being overweight isn’t a terrible thing and all. But I personally don’t feel comfortable physically at a higher weight#but struggle a lot to lose weight because of pain and lethargy. So the weight loss medication sucks but I find the side effects worth it..#for the most part that is. The nausea and vomitting is a bit much for me though…)#Anyway sorry for the rambling tags#I’m using this as a way to distract myself from the nausea while the anti-nausea medication hopefully kicks in#Luckily it is helping and I’m starting to feel a bit less nauseous…#Knock on wood of course#Ugh never mind.#I got up from#the bathroom and my stomach started roiling again#Time to sit quietly in the living room and sip water with a cool fan on me to try and settle my stomach again…#Of course this woke me up too so it’s like… 6 am and I’m the only one in my household awake#Anyway sorry again for the ramble. Thanks for reading if you got this far. .-.
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Not only did I clean up my room, but I also finished the Defenders, freeing me up to watch more stuff if I want to!
#understand that i had been living out of boxes & packing cubes for two months#we moved in november and i wasn't here for a good bit of december#i figured since we're meant to move back within three months it wasn't worth it unpacking much?#but it sucks living in a room that's all cramped and not fully yours#the clothes being in the dresser really help#as well as putting my huge ass suitcase in the cupboard#tidied up my desk tidied up my bedside shelf i am doing things!#tomorrow i get to vacuum <3#and i'm having daredevil feelings#and i want to draaaawwww#so very very bad. i want to draw so much. but what? there's so many things to draw!#also there's stuff i want to translate. i have NOT forgotten about that james bond fic#it's getting translated into french. it's happening. i've done like two chapters#literally no one is going to read this i'm just doing it for my portfolio for the masters#like. to get into a translation master. they ask for stuff you've translated before#so it's going to be. uh. hp fic. the aforementioned james bond thing. and mathieu hidalf lol#wow i have a ramble tag now
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Writing a fic when you're uninspired:
*writes half a sentence* *checks tumblr; no updates* *checks discord; all servers; no updates* *goes back to doc* *re-reads last three sentences* *removes last half sentence written* Hmm I want some tea ... *makes tea* *checks tumblr again; one new post* *checks discord; all servers; no updates* *checks four latest opened tabs* *remembers an old fandom you haven't thought of in years; goes to AO3 to see if there are any good fics for it* *opens three new fic tabs* *remembers that you're supposed to be writing* *writes a sentence* I'm kinda hungry ... *checks cupboards and fridge for snacks* *remembers that it's ten pm and you shouldn't snack at this hour* *remembers that you made tea; it is now cold* *drinks cold tea* *re-reads last three sentences* *checks tumblr; no updates* *checks discord; all servers; no updates* *in desperation, checks twitter; it is a cesspool of evil so you check tumblr again; one update* *reblog* Hmm, I have too many tabs open ... *opens a random tab; it is a 70K fic with 1K worth of tags that you last visited three months ago* *reads fic* Four hours later: ... I should go to bed. *closes doc* Total words written: 44
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SET ME ALIGHT AGAIN.
Cregan Stark x female!Targaryen!Reader (Part 2 here)
"It was on request of your younger brother's small council that Lord Cregan Stark agreed to take you to the North with him to prevent you from succumbing to grief like your aunt did. And now it's at his hands that the haze in your eyes is replaced by an emotion you haven't felt in so long, an emotion he’s giving back to you. And you let it flood you."
WARNINGS: SEXUAL CONTENT—MDNI; p in v, oral (fem receiving), angst (?), breeding kink, size kink, size difference, romantic fucking in front of the fireplace, afab reader, post dance of the dragons
WORDS: 4.8 K
NOTES: I dedicate this to @sylasthegrim. You're not only one of the few people I really grew fond of in the short time we truly got to know each other, but since both our minds basically came down to the same idea, this is for you! Thanks for beta reading this. 💕
❗️𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐲 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭!
You’ve been in Winterfell for a moon’s turn by now, and have quickly noticed that the ancestral castle possesses a beauty and calmness the Red Keep can be jealous of. But even that isn’t enough to make you feel at home – as if you could ever call a place your home again. Not after you’ve witnessed almost everyone in your family, no matter whether you liked them or not, perish at the hands of each other.
It was on request of your younger brother, now dubbed King Aegon the third, or rather of his small council that Lord Cregan Stark agreed to take you to the North with him to prevent you from succumbing to grief like your aunt did. And while you’re grateful for the chance to flee the one place that has caused you more hurt than good, riding in a carriage up to the far North like a commoner wasn’t exactly pleasant.
But how else should you have gotten there when your precious mount died along its kind as the common people stormed the Dragonpit?
For the past month, you’ve very rarely seen the sun – or anyone else than your maids.
Your days are spent in your chambers, not leaving the safety of the Guest House as you often try to find the sleep you can’t seem to get at night. And during the night, when the Hour of the Owl strikes and no light other than that of the moon reaches Winterfell, one often finds you wandering the quiet halls of the castle. Sometimes one even spots you outside in the Godswood, regardless of the low temperatures that make the three pools fed by an underground hot spring look even more inviting.
But warmth and comfort are never what you’re after.
You feel incredibly daring tonight, sitting beneath the ancient weirwood tree on one of its roots. Although there is a thick fur coat draped around your frame, the thin nightgown beneath does not allow you to be kept as warm as one usually desires, your bare feet hidden inside of the coat not a big help either.
Tiptoeing barefoot through the snow was the hardest part, but it was worth it as it gave you exactly what your body longs for.
You’re far too absorbed by the reflection of the moon dancing on the pool of black water beneath the tree, and the peaceful allure of the snow-covered night that you don’t notice you’re not alone anymore.
“Princess?” a husky voice rings out from the shadows, one you’d even recognize in a room full of loud and drunken men.
Almost as if he doesn’t want to startle you, the tall frame of the Lord of Winterfell approaches you without any sudden moves, becoming more visible with the moonlight shining down on him. “What are you doing out here this late?”
Only when he’s stopping not far away from you do you avert your eyes from him to the water again. “I could ask you the same, Lord Stark,” you reply softly.
A chuckle rumbles in his chest at your remark, and you can’t help the tint of heat hearing it brings to your cheeks. “Indeed you could,” he says. “I have not slept well, and the night has a peaceful allure. But you should not be out in the open without any guards, especially not this late at night.”
You drag your index finger through the snow at your side, drawing a mindless pattern in the dark as you do not pay any mind to his words. “And why is that, Lord Stark?” you ask, a certain snarkiness to your tone. “There is nothing worse that could happen to me than what I have already endured.”
Cregan sighs, and even in the dim light you can make out that he’s scratching his stubble covered chin. “And yet, should something else happen to you, I would not like myself for neglecting you and not protecting you just as I have sworn to the king,” he explains. “Besides, there is a cold chill in the air that I can not believe you are not feeling right now.”
“Perhaps that is the answer you’ve been looking for, my lord,” you mumble. “Perhaps I came here to feel something.”
The Wolf of the North doesn’t immediately answer you. Instead, there lingers a pause between you. But it’s not uncomfortable or feels as though it doesn't pass, no, you find yourself to actually enjoy his company.
His next words, however, even surprise you as you didn’t think he was capable of it. “Feeling the cold of the snow has its way to make one feel alive, that much is true,” he agrees, and then looks up to the dark sky. “You wish to feel something else than the pain of the absence of the people you’ve lost in this war, I understand… I think.”
His words make the feeling of emptiness, the hollowing ache of loss just worse, while at the same time, he seems to know the feeling of craving pain when you’re just so used to it.
“This cold bite, the chill that lingers on the skin — no one should want to feel it, Princess. It makes even my bones shake, do you know that? Surely you must be shivering, and we should be getting you inside. I should be getting you inside.”
You know he‘s right. While his words are blunt in nature, they are very much that of truth. You shouldn’t be out here, nor should you want to be out here. There‘s nothing to enjoy about this cold chill and the snow, not when you‘re as sparsely dressed as you are. You‘re not yet used to the chill of Winterfell, of the North.
Cregan offers you his hand, but you‘re still hesitant to take it. Albeit you reach out, your significantly smaller hand hovers over his, not yet grabbing it. “You‘re not exactly wearing proper attire to be out in this wretched cold for very long,“ he remarks. “Let me help you get up, your feet must be in agony by now.“
“And what if I don‘t want to?“
“Then I will still get you up.“ There is a tinge of amusement in his voice now, seeing this little bit of rebelliousness from you, your strength of mind. Even if he doesn’t exactly approve of it. “I shall simply pick you up myself, throw you over my shoulder, and carry you inside to your chambers, even though I‘d get you quite angry and don‘t imagine you want me to do just that.“
You don’t believe he actually has the gumption to do something like that at first, although you know he’s able to muster a decent amount of strength that would easily allow him to lift you up. But then, you wonder if he would truly do it if challenged. “Try that, if you dare, my lord.”
He lets out a snort of amusement, enjoying the teasing that slowly shapes between you two. It still is a challenge, and as a man of his station, he could never let words like this go unspoken. “Oh, I dare, Princess.”
Putting forth his arm, he wraps his fingers around your wrist and easily pulls you forwards onto your feet without applying too much pressure. You’re certainly caught off guard by his actual willingness to lift you up, and a squeal escapes your lips before you’re tossed on his strong shoulder as if you are some silly, helpless girl.
Cregan carries you through the Godswood and towards the Guest House, though you don’t resist too much as you’re hanging there over his shoulder – a part of you is grateful you don’t have to walk through the snow with your bare feet once more.
“Lord Stark, put me down at once!” you demand with a little twinge of laughter in your voice. You feel so light, much lighter than you imagine he’s used to lifting up, almost as if it’s taken all of the pressure off your shoulders.
But when there doesn’t come an answer from him, you grow slightly frustrated. “What if anyone sees, you madman!” you remark, embarrassment warming your cheeks.
“Madman? That’s rich coming from the woman who was willing to freeze to death in the snow,” he says jokingly, approaching the large doors. “Who do you think could see us at this hour, princess? The rats? And what if they do? What if someone sees me carrying the poor princess, who had the gall to get out of her bed after midnight and wander the Godswood while in her nightgown?” Although there is amusement in his voice, you also notice the faintest hint of flirtation laced within. “Will they judge me for carrying her, or would they judge her for her imprudent midnight excursion?”
You stay silent thrown over his shoulder, not sure how to reply. You thought you had a good comeback, but it seems Cregan is one step ahead of you. The flirtatious teasing you’ve heard catches you off guard, not expecting to hear it from him at all. It makes your cheeks flush with even more embarrassment when you notice that he’s actually right. But you don’t want to admit the truth in what he’s said.
“You mock me, but you shall see there would be much scandal if someone were to see this,” you retort, trying to keep calm as you’re now a little bit flustered by these sudden developments. “Besides,” you say, trying to remain unbothered and nonchalant, “who says I won’t tell a tale of you being the imprudent one?”
“Ah, you little rascal,” Cregan replies with a chuckle, giving your thigh a tight squeeze. “I see you’d find a way to turn the tides and have it end up with me being the bad guy, taking my chances on a vulnerable woman in the guise of protecting her.”
You’re clearly enjoying the teasing a tad too much, enjoying these quick and witty back-to-backs with him, taking your mind off of your grief. Drawing in a deep breath, you hold onto Cregan’s thick coat. “What would you have been protecting me from, Lord Stark?” you ask with feigned innocence. “Were the trees too menacing that you just had to sweep me off my feet to carry me away from their clutches?”
“No, I am afraid it was not the trees that had me worried, Princess,” Cregan replies as he brings you further into the Guest House, easily opening the door to the sleeping quarters with one hand. “The cold was the greater menace, and it had you in its grasp.”
Your words die in your throat when he puts you down on your bed, the soft furs very welcomed beneath your cold feet. You look up at him with wide eyes and a heaving chest as he towers over your significantly smaller frame, and you wait for him to make the next move.
There’s a moment of silence between you, obviously he’s considering his next words.
And boy do they disappoint you. “I shall make sure a fire is lit for you to warm yourself, princess,” he says, turning around to approach the hearth on the other side of the room.
Cregan crouches down to build and start a small fire in the hearth that should last the night, not wanting you to stay too cold. But you wouldn’t be a thoroughbred dragon if it didn’t mean for you to take any risks. And so you get onto your cold feet, the coat still draped around your shoulders sliding down to the ground.
Feeling a bit too exposed too quickly, you grab one of the thick fur blankets laying on your bed instead and wrap it around your frame, before you tiptoe towards the large wolf kneeling in front of the fireplace.
“I have something different in mind,” you speak softly. Cregan, startled by your words and your sudden approach, turns around and faces you as he rises to his feet. You reach and bury your hands in the collar of his coat, the blanket falling to the ground in the process, and when you use your grip to pull him close, you find that he does not shy away in the least – if anything, he follows the tug to connect your lips in a heated kiss.
He brings his large hands to your waist with ease, and presses his body against yours. The wolf feels like he’s drowning in you, in your lips, your warmth, your presence and scent. Wanting to lose himself in the moment, in you, his hands wander lower to your hips.
“I did not expect you to do this tonight,” he breathes against your lips, breaking the silence.
“And I did not expect some things from you tonight either,” you reply, breathlessly, voice breaking with every breath you take. “Is that a bad thing?”
His voice is low and smooth as he speaks, shaking his head. “Quite the contrary.” There is a flirtatious smile on his lips, and a playfulness you haven’t seen before in his gray eyes. It’s as if that small spark between you has quickly evolved into an inferno that now burns bright in the both of you.
It’s a fierce and burning kiss when your lips connect once more, fueled by the fires coursing through your veins. You release a soft whimper with his large paws trailing over your sides, feeling the fabric of your nightgown.
“If we continue this, I won’t be able to stop myself,” he rasps.
You tilt your head back to look at him, a cheeky grin on your lips. “Perhaps I do not want you to.”
Cregan’s eyebrows raise at your reply, and you feel his hands tighten around your waist once more. He can’t help but feel a jolt of arousal run down his back, which prompts him to release a low chuckle. “Well, if you wish for it that much…” he whispers in response, before pulling you back toward him, kissing you passionately.
A breathless chuckle slips past your lips as you pull back from him, licking your kiss swollen lips. “But there are a few things we need to get you out of first,” you tease, tugging at the thick, furry coat that’s draped over his broad shoulders.
“Are you this eager to have your hands over all of me?” he replies with a flirtatious smirk, but still unclips the coat and lets it fall to the ground. He doesn’t mind you seeming quite intent to get him out of his armor, allowing you to fumble with the clasps and buckles, and eventually helps you remove the heavy bits until he’s left wearing nothing but his breeches. But even those are quickly unlaced by you, left to be a puddle around his feet.
“My my, do you not feel a little too hot still, Lord Stark?” you tease, letting your fingers wander over his exposed stomach. You can’t help but feel warmth creeping onto your cheeks as you see him in such little clothing, so exposed. He’s a muscular man, tall and large, and the sight of his bare skin with the dark of hair on his chest and a trail of it running below his undergarments is a welcoming one.
Through the linen you see that he’s already hard and begging, waiting for you to take things further. Truly a shame you seem to relish in the teasing.
Goosebumps prickle on his skin in the wake of your finger, making you smile. You drag your finger along the waistband of his undergarments, hooking it beneath to tug on it. He knows what you desire, and he’s not ashamed to give you just that. “I do not see you so eager to remove your own clothes, Princess,” he teases, undoing the laces in the front for his undergarments to join his breeches. “It is hardly fair you want to see all of me, yet I am not allowed to do the same.”
You take in a sharp breath at the sight of his hard cock, standing to full attention. It has you licking your lips. Batting your eyelashes at him, you’re quick to pull your nightgown over your head, a smirk on your lips. A flimsy piece of linen conceals what lies between your legs, but it’s still enough for him to all but devour your almost bare frame.
“There,” you whisper, “now we are on equal grounds.”
Cregan takes a moment to look over you, licking his lips at the sight of your breasts fully exposed mto him. He knows you’re no maiden who’s completely untouched, you wouldn’t be as confident if you were, but it doesn’t stop him from appreciating the sight in front of him.
“Equal grounds, truly?” he asks you, taking a step toward you. One arm snakes around your waist, pulling you against him, as his other hand fists the linen of your smallclothes. “I think you still have an advantage over me, Princess. Because I have yet to see what lies beneath your undergarments.”
Your palms rest flatly against his chest, and you press a chaste kiss to his skin. “I will not stop you, Lord Stark,” you whisper, looking up at him with wide, innocent eyes.
“Then let’s make these ‘equal grounds’ a little bit more equal, hm?” Cregan whispers as well. He sinks to his knees with his mouth trailing a path down your body, licking and kissing over your skin until he reaches your navel. His large hands trail over your sides and thighs on his way down, the movement and sight making your breath hitch in your throat.
A shudder ripples through your body as he tugs your smallclothes down your legs, and while you watch him with your hands buried in his dark curls, his eyes are all but focused on what’s between your legs.
He drapes one of your legs over his broad shoulder, his dark blown eyes darting up to meet yours, and before you can make any teasing remark, his mouth is on you. A gasp catches in your throat. “Cregan, please,” you whimper, forgetting all courtesies the moment his tongue drags through your slit. There’s no softness, no gentleness in the way he all but devours your cunt, the previous teasing having made his patience run thin.
Your head tips back in pleasure as his tongue alternates between sliding into you and swirling around your pearl, noticing both options have you grind your hips against his face. The tip of his nose rubs so perfectly against your pearl when his mouth pays attention to your entrance, and Cregan’s fingers dig into your flesh with your body tensing up already, keeping you steady.
The Wolf of the North growls against your cunt as if he’s truly turned into one, devouring you with all he’s got, the sheer pleasure brought by his tongue and lips taking over you.
As you look down at him again, you find him already staring up at you, watching you carefully as you slowly but surely unravel on his tongue. It’s intense, but you’re captivated enough not to break eye contact.
“Gods, yes, I–” you whimper, and fall apart all over his tongue with a shudder. If it wasn’t for Cregan’s paws on your body, you would have lost balance by now, especially with the way he seemed to work his tongue in and out of you faster just in rhythm to his nose rubbing your pearl.
He pulls away from you slowly as your peak subsides, and with his beard and lips glistening with the remnants of your arousal, how could you not pounce on him right then and there?
He supports his body with one arm placed on the ground and stretches his legs as you push yourself against him, wrapping your arms around his strong neck. The taste of yourself on his tongue makes you moan against his lips before you deepen the kiss.
Cregan’s hard cock is nestled between your bodies, and you can’t resist wrapping your hand around it, stroking him once, twice, before you shift your hips and slowly sink down on him.
Muscular arms completely wrap around your waist, making you very well aware of the size difference between the two of you. You’re significantly smaller than him, and relish in the feeling of being safe and protected with him around. You two haven’t been too close upon your arrival in the North, but it seems that there has been a hidden attraction lingering for quite some time.
You know your hips would sooner or later become sore from pumping him with your core, hence you stick to rocking your hips back and forth with his cock stuffed deep inside you. It’s intimate and slow, but with the coarse hairs around the base of his cock dragging over your pearl with each swivel of your hips, you’re still racing for completion.
While he mouths along your jaw and the curve of your throat, one of his hands comes up to cup your breast. Rolling the perky bud between his index finger and thumb, the slight sting works wonders to amplify the pleasure coursing through your veins.
“By the Seven,” you whimper, grinding your hips against him with more determination.
There comes a sharp hiss in return from him, barely audible between the open mouthed kisses he presses to your collar bones. You’re clawing at his shoulders and neck by now, scratching it despite the sensuality of your movements, and it feels as though you’re even drawing blood. But he doesn’t care about that – he rather enjoys having a woman that doesn’t hold back.
Trailing his lips up to your throat, he nudges your chin with his nose, prompting you to tip your head back. “It’s not them you need to pray to right now, Princess,” Cregan rasps, a clear strain to his voice. “But perhaps I should take that as a compliment, hm?”
His words cause you to chuckle, and you’re grateful that he’s quickly distracted by kissing your throat again, because otherwise he might have noticed the heat his words bring to your cheeks. “If that is…” you trail off panting, burying your hand in his curls to tug his head back, forcing him to look up at you. The sight of his dark blown eyes hungrily gazing at you sends a shiver down your spine. You feel desired. “If that is a compliment, then I shall have to say it much more often.”
You’re not sure if it’s the fact you state wanting to compliment him more often, or if he’s just not used to having an appreciative lover in general, but your words seem to flip a switch inside of him. You quickly find yourself lowered on the fur blankets, warming your back while the flames heat up your skin and Cregan your blood.
Nestled between your legs, he’s growing more determined now, the sensual rocking of your hips clearly not enough for him, but you don’t mind it. As much as you enjoy being in control, setting the tone, you also revel in following the lead.
He’s propped up on one elbow, supporting himself as he thrusts into you, rolling his hips that make his cock drag so expertly against the sweet spot inside of you.
With one hand, you hold onto his broad shoulder, digging your nails into his skin, while the other gropes at his chest, teasing his bud just like he’s done with yours before. The feeling of his coarse hairs beneath your fingers feels somewhat strange at first, for Aemond hasn’t had as much chest hair as Cregan does, but it’s also comforting.
The familiar coil in the pit of your belly tightens slowly with his hips snapping into yours over and over again, split open by his hard cock.
“Will you fill me up, my lord?” you moan breathily, arching your back with your breasts pressing against his sturdy frame.
Cregan releases a choked groan at the question, and for a moment you can feel his hips stutter. You briefly wonder if you’ve pushed your luck too far, especially with him not replying immediately, until his raspy voice cuts through the heavy pants and moans.
“Only if you let me take you to wife, Princess.”
You inevitably clench down around him as a small, hiccuped gasp catches in your throat, resulting in Cregan drawing in a sharp breath. The haze in your eyes is replaced by an emotion you haven't felt in so long, an emotion he’s now giving back to you. And you let it flood you.
Your hand comes from his chest to his biceps, holding onto it as you gather your thoughts. His hips haven’t slowed down one bit, and he’s truly expecting you to answer as if he wasn’t repeatedly impaling you on his cock right now.
Staring up at him with wide eyes, your voice isn’t any louder than a whisper. “It would be foolish of me to turn this offer down,” you reply.
An impish smirk dances along Cregan’s features. “Is that meant to be a yes?”
“Y-Yes, it is, “ you whimper beneath him, arching your back once more.
The warmth of his body, his weight and scent cloud your every being, and his thrusts are determined and harsh enough to render you speechless, your mind and body completely claimed by him.
His hand snakes between your bodies, aiming for your sensitive pearl. Though the coarse hair around his cock has granted you at least a bit of friction, it’s not enough to bring you to your peak. His thumb circles over the little bud, fully coated with your arousal, and the thread in your belly is close to snapping.
“Then I just might,” he grunts in return.
Your body jerks at the sudden touch, but his muscular frame between your legs is enough to keep you pinned to the ground. “I need you… Cregan,” you whimper, bringing a hand behind his head to pull him down for a heated kiss. Your lips hardly part to release whimpers and moans, swallowing each other’s sounds of pleasure without any shame. “Let me give you a spare.”
It appears that your words give him a new-found vigor that leaves you gasping, the pace of his hips increasing. As you start to roll your hips against his thumb, you not only create some friction that feeds your pleasure but his as well. It’s not long after that your peak washes over you with a soft gasp, walls clenching around him like a vice.
With your small frame trembling between his strong arms, Cregan releases a strained grunt, his own peak being milked out of him by your cunt fluttering around his cock. He keeps on dragging his thumb over your sensitive pearl, prolonging your peak and the pleasure that comes with it.
You stare up at him with wide eyes as you’re milking him for every drop, because there’s something so vulnerable in this wolf of a man, towering over you with his skin glistening with sweat, so desperate to fill you with his seed and breed you.
The last jolts of his peak force him to languidly rut his hips into yours, desperately chasing the feeling of bliss that courses through your veins. His chest heaves with every heavy breath he takes, and the dark curls are damp and fall into his face.
Only as Cregan is certain there’s not one drop of his seed left inside of him does he slowly stop his ministrations, and the hand that has toyed with your bud seizes your hips, stilling them.
His erratic breaths fans over your sweaty skin with his lips pressing to your temple. The feeling of being whole with him doesn’t leave you, not when his weight pins you down and keeps you grounded, easing your tumbled mind.
“I shall welcome the arrival of any child you bear me,” Cregan says, inevitably breaking the silence.
A smile spreads across your lips as you wrap your legs around his hips, and your arms around his neck. “Be careful what you wish for. My children will certainly be just as stubborn as me.”
His heart is practically pounding against his ribs, and he can feel himself on the verge of being lost by your touch alone again. You make him go wild and feral, your bold and flirtatious nature bringing out another side to him that’s completely unexpected. And yet it feels so right.
The teasing banter brings a smile to his lips and a light to his gray eyes, your wit and humor shining through. “Let them be stubborn, then,” he chuckles, leaning in to press a kiss to your forehead. “They only need to be half as feisty as you, and I shall be the happiest man in Winterfell.”
#cregan stark smut#cregan x y/n#cregan smut#cregan x you#cregan x reader#cregan stark#cregan fanfiction#hotd cregan#cregan stark imagine#cregan stark fanfiction#cregan stark x reader#cregan stark x you#cregan stark x y/n#hotd#house of the dragon#house of the dragon fanfiction#house of the dragon fanfic#house of the dragon smut#house of the dragon fic#hotd imagine#hotd x y/n#hotd x reader#hotd x you#hotd fic#hotd fanfic#hotd smut#cregan stark x female reader#targaryen reader#house stark#house targaryen
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I'm almost done with my transition paperwork. it's been nearly a year since i started. we live in an evil bureaucratic hellscape
#I've had to do some stuff thrice because apparently people either can't program or use computers properly#the actual birth certificate and id took a couple of months#everything else took forever#the bank fucked up my name on my debit card twice#they made up a whole new middle name and put it on everything#i had to complain like 5 times about that one cause it kept showing up anywhere#my uni made me wait three months to figure out how to comply with the nonbinary ids on their degrees and then harassed me for two weeks#about a picture#my name's still showing up wrong in parts of the system they use at work#because some people can't read i guess#i gotta send an email about that actually#i even had to update my name at the supermarket which i hadn't even added to the list when i started#i was just grocery shopping one day and realized the cashier was calling me by the wrong name#i think all that's left now are the utilities#and waiting for everything else to be done#like my degree needs to be signed by the usual 6838282 people now#but i can see the finish line#it was all worth it btw i love seeing my name on everything#i even had to turn in my old degree at my uni it felt like a sendoff#I'll see if i can save up and invite my friends over to celebrate#alex txt
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through the years
pairing: lando norris x fewtrell!reader
summary: a few glimpses into lando's journey of being in love with his best friend's sister. (5.9k) see request here!
a/n: r is three years older than max and lando. this has been a work in progress for months and was truly so so fun to write <3
sixteen
Lando’s tucking his helmet back into its protective case when he hears someone say your name.
He straightens up like he’s been electrocuted, nearly hitting his head on the shelf above him at how fast he looks up. If he had ears like a dog, they’d be perked.
His eyes land on you chatting with someone he doesn’t recognize, and his heart skips a beat in his chest.
See, Lando has a massive crush on you, probably since before he knew what a crush was. All he knows is that you’re a few years older, his best friend’s sister, and the most perfect person he’s ever known. He’s pretty sure he’d fallen in love with you the moment he met you at one of Max’s and his races.
But at only sixteen (nearly seventeen) years old, did he even know what love felt like?
Not really, but if Lando was being completely honest, he imagines it was the same feeling he got whenever he climbed into a kart—thrilling, exciting, a little bit of fear that he might puke.
He hasn’t seen you in a while though. You’ve been off at university for a year now, somewhere far off, but Max had said something (read: complained) about you being home for summer break.
Lando thinks he might be more happy about it than your own brother is.
“Hey!” Lando calls, raising a hand in greeting. You lift your sunglasses at the sound of another voice, squinting in the bright sunlight to see who’s shouting at you now. When your eyes land on him, you smile, waving back. Lando grins, one that only grows bigger as you start to make your way over to him.
“Looked good out there today, Lan. You’re getting pretty quick on the straights,” You say on approach.
He’s had a little bit of a growth spurt this past year, so he’s no longer craning his neck to look at you, but you’ve still got quite a bit of height on him as you reach out to ruffle his hair playfully.
“Thanks! Have you, erm, have you been here the whole time?” Lando’s voice cracks at the end of his sentence, mortifying him, but luckily you don’t seem to notice. You’re too occupied looking around the track for something, or someone.
“Nah, I just got here, like twenty minutes ago? Mum told me to give Max a lift home.” You shrug. Lando fights the urge to let out a relieved sigh. Thank god you weren’t here to see him nearly spin out into the gravel on the last corner. That would’ve been embarrassing. “Have you seen him, by the way? I need to wring his neck.”
A surprised honk of laughter splutters from Lando’s mouth. “What did he do now?”
“Little shit broke one of mum’s good dinner plates and blamed it on me! S’why I’m here playing chauffeur,” You sigh, shaking your head. “Grounded during summer holidays, can you believe it? I’m basically Max’s personal shuttle, so it looks like you’re going to be seeing quite a bit of me for a while. Nightmare, innit?”
“Not really. It’d be nice to see you around more again.”
“You’re sweet, Lan. The punishment might be worth it to see your cute face all the time.” You wink at him, pinching his cheek gently.
He knows you don’t mean it in the way he wants you to mean it. You still see him as just your little brother’s best friend, still a kid. But he’s older now, more mature. His voice is starting to drop, and he’s going places in his racing career by this point. He wonders if you know he’s joining McLaren’s Young Driver Programme next year. He wonders if you’d be impressed by it.
“Hang on. I’ve got to take this, it’s my mum. Probably demanding I stop off at the shops on the way home,” You sigh, holding up your buzzing phone. “Do me a favor, be a darling and go find my idiot brother, would you?” You answered the call before he could nod, walking a ways away to talk to your mum.
Lando remains rooted in place, watching you pace back and forth.
“What’re you looking at?” Max pops up next to him out of the blue, bumping his shoulder rather roughly. It doesn’t phase him though, because he’s used to Max’s antics at this point.
Instead, he sighs. “D’you think she’d ever like me?”
“Who?”
Lando nods his head in your direction, looking rather wistful. Max follows his friend’s line of sight until his gaze lands on you, on the phone, looking less than pleased.
“Are you fucking with me? Please tell me you’re fucking with me,” He asks, wrinkling his nose at Lando. Even though you’re three years older than him, Max was wildly overprotective over you. Lando shakes his head. He is most definitely serious. “Mate, that’s my sister.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“That’s disgusting.”
Lando scoffs, giving Max a shove. “You’re disgusting.”
“So you’re telling me that every time you’ve asked me where she’s been, what she’s been up to, it’s ‘cause you fancy her?”
“Maybe. Yeah. I think she’s amazing.”
“I’m gonna throw up. I’m actually going to throw up, oh my god.”
“Don’t be dramatic.” Lando rolls his eyes, picking up his things.
“You’re hot for my sister, how am I being dramatic? I think I’m being quite calm about this.”
“It’s nothing, really. She probably won't ever see me as anything but a little kid.”
“Oh, you never know. You’re getting bigger, mate. Stacking on the height, packing on the muscle.” He fakes two punches to Lando’s torso, grunting overdramatically when Lando pushes him away with another roll of his eyes. “Soon enough you won’t be able to keep the ladies off you, ya stud.”
“Thanks? You do know we’re still talking about your sister, right?”
“Oh. Right. Yeah, still gross.”
“Oi, Max. Let’s go or mum’ll have my head if we don’t get home by dinner,” You grumble, reappearing behind Max and shoving him upside the head. Your gaze softens when it turns on Lando. “Bye, Lan. See you soon.”
Lando manages to get out a goodbye without his voice cracking again, thank god. He wants to go in for a hug, because part of him thinks it might lift your spirits, but knows Max would never let him hear the end of it. So he just settles for a slightly awkward wave before you turn on your heel and head for the car.
Max rolls his eyes. Then he smiles deviously, pointing at your retreating figure with one hand and Lando with the other, before smashing them both together, all while making overexaggerated kissy noises. He seems to have forgotten his previous disgust quite easily.
“Fuck off!” Lando hisses, flipping off his friend.
“I’ll leave you behind, Maximillian!” You warn, not even turning around to threaten your brother. Max rolls his eyes again, but doesn't hesitate in hurrying after you so you won't leave him stranded at the track.
Lando manages to catch your eye once as you’re pulling out of the car park and he waves again, trying but probably failing to stifle the goofy grin spreading across his face at the wave you gave him back.
God, he’s so down bad for you.
That year, however, the months went on, Lando found himself noticing that you came home less and less often, and not even for school breaks the following year. Max wouldn’t talk about it, but it was obvious it was somewhat of a sore subject, so Lando never pushed.
He’d always wondered what happened, but soon enough, his life became far too hectic to sit around thinking about all the what if’s and the why not’s. All he could do was hope you were doing okay.
-------
twenty
It’s hard to believe Max is turning twenty-one.
So will Lando, later in the year, but for now he remains a very youthful looking twenty years old.
Max invites a handful of people to a quiet dinner, nothing too flashy, nothing too fancy. Just a nice dinner with close friends and good food. His birthday sits right between race weeks, so Lando is fortunate enough to be able to carve out an evening for his best friend.
Now he’s sitting at the end of a long table, sipping a lemon sparkling water as the first few of their friends start to trickle in. He’d arrived unfashionably early under the guise of offering to help Max iron out last minute details, set up, things like that.
In reality, the reason why he’d turned up so early was you.
Lando doesn’t know if Max invited you, and if he did, he doesn’t know if you’d actually come. But on the off chance that you do choose to make an appearance, Lando wants to be the first one to see you.
Naturally, he spots you the second you walk in, and he’s instantly transported back to when he was an awkward teenager, pathetically pining over his best friend’s sister with absolutely no shot.
Hell, he’s still pining over you. He thought whatever feelings he had for you would’ve faded over the years, but one look at you and everything comes rushing back.
He thought he’d prepared himself for this, for seeing you again, but one thing that rises above all the other thoughts flooding his brain is that he’s not over you. Not by a long shot.
He watches you make your way over to your brother and hug him. You lean in close to say something into his ear, and suddenly you’re both looking directly at him.
Lando startles, nearly spilling his drink, but he manages to compose himself quickly. That swoopy feeling he used to get whenever you made your way over to him is back in full swing again. He scrambles to his feet.
“Hey, Lan!” You greet him keenly, wrapping him in a warm hug. Your perfume washes over him as you do, and he fights the urge to sigh happily. You still wear the same one you always did. He remembers because he’d more or less conditioned himself to associate the nice scent with you. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”
Lando chuckles breathlessly, praying you’re not able to feel how fast his heart is beating through his shirt. “Too long.”
You pull away, holding him at arms’ length, studying him with bright eyes. “You’re taller than me now.”
“I’d hope so. M’not sixteen anymore.”
“No, you’re not. You look good though, ” You say. You look like you mean it truthfully.
“How’ve you been?”
“Been better, but I’m…getting by, all things considered.” You shrug, sliding into the chair next to him.
Both of you swing sideways to face each other at the same time, knees knocking into each other as you do. You share an apologetic smile. Your hand blankets his where it rests on the table, squeezing a few times as your eyes light up with excitement.
You aren’t aware of just how much that one little move affects Lando.
“But what about you, McLaren’s newest Formula One driver? That’s so amazing. Seriously. I’m proud of you.”
He’s heard the compliment loads during his rookie year, but hearing it come from you makes his cheeks flush pink. He can feel the comfort of your words spreading from his face into his chest, tendrils of warmth wrapping around his rib cage. You’re proud of him, and it feels like he’s just won the world championship.
“Thank you,” He squeaks.
“I always knew you’d do great things.”
“You’ve been keeping up with my career?”
“‘Course I have,” You say warmly, nodding like it’s obvious. “It’s not everyday you can say you’ve known one of the up and coming talents of Formula 1 since you were kids.”
“We’ve come a long way since then, haven’t we?”
“You, yeah. Me…well, let’s just say I’m still trying to figure things out.”
“You’re doing the best you can, aren’t you? Shouldn’t that be all that matters?”
“I suppose you’re right. Thank you, Lan. I needed to hear that.”
Silence stretches between the two of you, and Lando feels the need to break it.
“Y’know, I didn't know if you’d come. Since…y’know, whatever’s been going on all this time.” He doesn’t mean to prod, doesn’t mean it as anything other than him drawing a huge blank about why you haven’t been around.
Your expression still grows somber, brows creasing ever so slightly. “Max hasn’t told you anything?”
“Seemed like a sore subject, so I never pushed.”
“You must have a lot of questions then.” You murmur, tracing an idle finger over the pristine white table cloth. “About why I’ve been basically nonexistent for years.”
“I don't need to know. You’re here now, that's all that matters.”
“Y’know, you’ve always been so thoughtful, Lando. When we were all kids and Max was being…well, Max, you were always looking out for me, even though you didn’t have to.”
“I cared about you. Still do.”
It’s true. Lando cares about you in more ways than one, in more ways than just your little brother’s best friend should, but it isn’t something that he can help. You’ve still got him wrapped around your finger without even knowing it.
“So sweet.” You smile, squeezing his hand appreciatively, and Lando feels like he’s just been shown a new purpose. He wants to be the one to make you smile like this all the time, something he’s known in his heart for years. “So, tell me more about you. What’s it like in the big leagues?”
You wind up spending all night glued to each other’s side, filling one another in on what’s been going on in your lives since the last time you saw each other. Granted, it’s a bit more of him doing most of the talking with you on the listening end, but he gets the sense you’d rather have it that way.
He’ll gladly talk for hours if it meant you looking at him with the pride in your eyes you’ve had the whole night.
Eventually, the party rolls to an end, as all good nights unfortunately do. Lando wants to stay here, stay with you, but he can’t. He’s got an early morning and a day full of training tomorrow, so he’ll settle for walking you to your car after you’ve both said goodbye to Max.
You’ve got your arm looped through his as you make your way out of the restaurant with the rest of the dinner guests.
“This one’s me.” You jut your chin at the car coming up. If Lando isn’t mistaken, you almost sound kind of sad, but maybe he’s just looking too much into things because he doesn't want to leave. You leave his side, putting a little bit of distance between the two of you. “Thank you for keeping me company all night, Lando. It was really nice to see you again.”
“Likewise. I’ve…” He trails off into an airy chuckle, shoulders creeping towards his shoulders instinctively. For a moment, he wonders if he should even say anything. “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you too,” You say softly, giving him a small smile. Lando feels his chest tighten at the sincerity in your tone. Then you step forward and wrap your arms around his neck in a hug and suddenly he’s just about ready to melt as his arms slide around you to return the embrace.
He isn’t expecting your lips against his cheek, or the way they linger a little longer than to be expected before you step away again. Heat blooms where you kiss him, zipping through his veins like the thrill of pushing the highest speed down the home straight towards the checkered flag.
“Don’t forget about me when you get to be a big hot shot in the racing world,” You say, only slightly teasing.
“Don’t think I could.”
He watches you get into your car and drive away, hands in his pockets, wishing he was brave enough to tell you how he feels about you. Some other time, maybe. One day he’ll muster up the confidence to say something.
-------
twenty four
No matter how many times Lando comes home to race at Silverstone, the feeling never goes away.
A mix of joy, pride, the unmistakable vice-like grip of anxiety. Lando is excited, no doubt, but all he wants to do is make his home crowd proud. His family is here, his friends are here. Everyone is counting on him to do something amazing.
He’s got a hundred things to do before he has to head down to the garage to gear up, a methodical mental checklist to get through in not a lot of time.
Buzzing with nervous energy, he paces the top level of the motorhome, amping himself up while also trying to calm himself down. He’s barely managed to eat anything all day, as evident by the basically untouched chicken wrap sitting on the table next to him.
Sure, he’s raced at Silverstone before, but this is the first year he actually has a shot at winning the whole thing. The car has proved to be a speed demon, and he’s been killing it this season, but neither of those help his nerves.
It makes his stomach twist more than anything. It’s one thing to not win because he doesn't have the facilities to do it, it's entirely worse to know he can win and still let everyone down.
“Well, if it isn’t little Lando Norris.”
He freezes at the unexpected voice. Your voice.
His mind flashes back to the last time he saw you, at Max’s birthday party. How you talked all night, and kissed him on the cheek before you parted ways.
It’s been three years since then, and you’ve stayed in close touch with each other, but you haven’t seen each other in person since that night. It isn’t either of your faults—life got in the way and neither of yours lined up. Nonetheless, he’s grown closer to you these past few years than he ever has, which definitely doesn’t help the massive crush he still has on you.
Part of him thinks he really needs to move on—he’s been in love with you for so many years he doesn’t even remember the exact number, but his feelings remain the same. Any relationship he’s tried to have, just to see if he could ever love someone else, has never lasted.
Lando thinks he might be stuck on you his whole life, if the entirety of his teenage years and first few of his young adult years have been any indication.
He’s very prone to wanting things he can’t have, it seems.
Lando gives his head a shake because it couldn’t be you. You couldn’t be here, because last he heard from Max, you were somewhere out of the country on a work trip and wouldn’t be able to make it to Silverstone for the race. It’s a bummer for sure, but Lando knows you would've come if you could. Max told him you sounded downright upset about it on your check in call earlier in the week to break the news.
He turns slowly, hesitantly. Hopefully. His fingers tighten on the water bottle he’s got clutched in his hands.
There you are, looking back at him like something straight out of his dreams.
You’re older now, as he is too, but there’s something different about you. About how you hold yourself. Like you've finally settled into the person you were meant to be. It isn’t something he could’ve clocked in on through texts and grainy video calls, but he sees it now, clear as day.
“Hi.”
“You’re here,” He breathes, disbelieving. He isn’t able to stop himself from rushing forward, bringing you into a very tight, very excited hug that lifts you off your feet.
You let out a surprised noise at his enthusiasm, barely managing to hook an arm over around his shoulders so you wouldn’t go flailing as he spins you around.
He puts you down soon after, still beaming as he takes you in. “How are you here? I thought—Max said you were on a work trip!”
“I asked him to keep it a secret,” You chuckle, spreading a palm across his chest to steady yourself. “Wanted to surprise you for your home race. Hope that’s okay?”
“More than okay! It’s so good to see you again,” He insists, folding you into another, albeit much quicker hug. He holds you at arm's length right after. “You look really good.”
“I feel good,” You say sincerely. “Think I’m finally getting the hang of this whole life thing.”
“That’s amazing. I’m proud of you for pushing through, sticking it out,” Lando murmurs, just as genuine. There’s nothing better than seeing you finally find a good place, happy with where you are and what you’re doing. It’s all he’s ever wanted for you.
“Thank you. But oh my god, look at you!” You exclaim, taking his face in your hands. You pinch his cheeks the same way you used to do, but the way you’re looking at him feels much different than before.
There’s something that isn’t quite the same, like something about what you think of him has changed. The thought burrows its way deeper into his brain when one hand slides down to his chest for a few beats.
“You’ve grown up quite a bit again, haven’t you?”
He laughs, a little high pitched and a little breathless. “Yeah well, you know what they say about second puberty.”
“Still got the same cute laugh though.” You smile at him brightly, and it's like the sun has just poked its way through the dreary British fog for the first time in ages. His heart does an involuntary tap dance against his ribcage. “Right, well, I’ll leave you to it then. Sorry if I, like, disturbed your pre-race rituals or anything, I just wanted to pop in and say hi before things get crazy.”
“No, no, I’m glad you did. I think I needed to see a familiar face. Between you and me, I’m kinda freaking out.”
“Oh, Lan,” You sigh, squeezing his hand. “You’re gonna do great.”
“Hope so.”
“You will,” You insist firmly. “Don’t think about the people, don’t think about the crowd. Just trust your gut, and drive like hell.”
Lando didn’t know it before, but your words are exactly the thing he needs right now. He sighs deeply, letting his shoulders relax just the slightest bit.
“Anyways, I better go. Max is probably wondering where I’ve wandered off to.”
He clears his throat, giving his head a little shake. “Yeah, I should—I probably need to get going as well.”
“Good luck, be safe, all that. I’ll be the loudest one cheering you on.”
Lando hears himself call out your name when you’re a few steps away from the door. You turn back to him, and he knows this is the moment. He’s about to do something he’s never had the balls to do before, never in the nine years he’s been in love with you. Only today, right here, he’s never felt more sure of himself.
He’s trusting his gut.
“Would you wanna grab a drink tonight? Dinner too, if you’re up for it?”
“Yeah, ‘course! I’ll text my brother, see if he’s free.”
“No,” He blurts. You arch a surprised brow at his sudden outburst. “Sorry, I just—I meant like, maybe just the two of us.”
You’re quiet for a few moments, and it feels like the longest couple seconds of his life. But then you nod, breaking into a big grin. “I’d really like that.”
Lando doesn’t want to get his hopes up in fear of possibly jinxing it, but it feels like maybe, just maybe, he might have a chance with you. After all these years, he’s no longer just a little kid to you, no longer just your little brother’s best friend.
The thought of that pumps him up better than a race in front of his home crowd ever could.
-------
twenty five
He’s done it.
Lando's just won in Abu Dhabi, gotten his fourth win of his career—his fourth win of the season. McLaren has just won the constructor’s championship for the first time in twenty six years, and Lando’s been an instrumental part in making it happen.
The moment he steps out onto the front of the car, hears the crowd cheering for him, he can barely even believe it. It doesn’t feel real at all.
He wants to find you. He knows you’re here somewhere, probably with his family in the garage. He also knows he doesn’t have the time to find you, not until after he’s taken care of his post race duties.
Lando doesn't see you until he returns to the pit lane in front of the McLaren garage.
The whole team is gathered there, chattering excitedly amongst themselves. He can feel the energy buzzing through the atmosphere, the pure excitement and joy of a long awaited championship not only for everyone here, but the whole team of papaya back at the factory too.
This is their time as much as it is his, if not even more. They’re the reason he’s able to live this dream every single day, and for that, he’ll never be able to say enough thank yous.
Instead, he’ll work even harder next season, keep pushing and honing his craft until he’s able to truly show his gratitude towards them.
But for now, he’ll celebrate. After a long, grueling (but fulfilling) season, he’s earned that.
He breaks into a jog towards the huddle, breaking into a face-splitting grin as he jumps into the team celebrations happily. Person after person clap him on the back on his way to his place beside the giant papaya sign, even after the team photo is taken and he gets doused by champagne from all sides.
Lando feels like a million bucks. This feeling has been a long time coming, a long time needed. If he could bottle it up and save it forever, he would.
There’s only one thing that could make this moment even better.
He turns to the crowd behind the barriers, searching, searching, searching for his loved ones until—
There you are, standing with his family just as he’d thought you’d be, cheering so hard he thinks you might even be crying.
Man, are you a sight for sore eyes. You’ve both been busy the past few weeks, him with this triple header and you with your job. You’d barely made it to this race, but he’s happy you’re here. Even happier you were here to see him win.
He makes his way towards you all, doling out hugs to everyone, not able to wipe the smile from his face as he chats with each of them.
His parents, his sister, and finally…you.
You’re beaming just as big as he is when he stops in front of you, flinging your arms around his neck in the tightest hug. He lets out a sigh of content, lifting you off your feet a bit in a hug just as tight, burying his face into the crook of your neck as he does so.
“Hi, baby,” He breathes, running his hands down from your shoulders to your forearms as soon as he puts you down again. “What’d you think?”
“What do I think?” You exclaim, taking his face in your hands. “I think you did amazing! I think I’ve cried, like, four times already since the race ended, honestly.”
He laughs, wrapping his fingers around your wrists. “I made you cry?”
“Yeah, you made me cry, you muppet! I’m so fucking proud of you,” You tell him, sounding nothing but truly sincere. There’s tears in your eyes again, happy tears for him, and he feels a surge of adoration bloom in his chest. “Congratulations, Lan. You’re destined for so much greatness, I know it.”
He’s sweaty, sticky, and doused in champagne, but he still feels on top of the world at the joy in your eyes.
“I love you,” He blurts. He couldn’t have stopped the words spilling from his mouth even if he tried.
Maybe it’s the adrenaline, maybe it’s knowing there’s no better time than the present, but it’s out there now. The past five months you’ve been dating have been absolutely mint, but Lando doesn’t think he could’ve gone another moment without telling you.
You let out a watery sort of chuckle, sliding a hand into the hair at the nape of his neck and bringing him in for a kiss.
You’ve kissed before—a lot, actually—but this one feels different. Better. The giant secret that he’s been holding in from you for years and years is finally out, and it’s like a weight lifted off his chest.
“I love you too, Lan,” You murmur, words pressed against his lips like they're something reserved only for him. “God, I love you.”
There goes his heart right then, the last piece of his heart that he’d saved for the day he wasn’t sure would ever come. The last piece of his heart that belonged to him now belongs to you, and in this moment, you’ve got all of it.
All of Lando’s heart is now yours.
Lando didn’t think this day could get any better, but now there’s this. The woman of his dreams, the one he’s been in love with since you were both kids, finally loves him back.
He’s not sure what heaven is like, but Lando imagines it might be something like this.
Here, under the Abu Dhabi sky, he’s gotten the championship, he’s finally gotten his girl. To him, there’s nothing better than it.
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#requested!#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4#ln4 x reader#lando norris x fewtrell!reader#lando norris fic#lando norris x fem!reader#ln4 x fewtrell!reader#lando norris fluff#ln4 x fem!reader
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hey uh so I haven't seen anyone talking about this here yet, but
the amazon river, like the biggest river in the fucking world, in the middle of the amazon fucking rainforest, is currently going through its worst drought since the records began 121 years ago
picture from Folha PE
there's a lot going on but I haven't seen much international buzz around this like there was when the forest was on fire (maybe because it's harder to shift the narrative to blame brazil exclusively as if the rest of the world didn't have fault in this) so I wanted to bring this to tumblr's attention
I don't know too many details as I live in the other side of the country and we are suffering from the exact opposite (at least three cyclones this year, honestly have stopped counting - it's unusual for us to get hit by even one - floods, landslides, we have a death toll, people are losing everything to the water), but like, I as a brazilian have literally never seen pictures of the river like this before. every single city in the amazonas state is in a state of emergency as of november 1st.
pictures by Adriano Liziero (ig: geopanoramas)
we are used to seeing images of rio negro and solimões, the two main amazon river affluents, in all their grandiose and beauty and seeing these pictures is really fucking chilling. some of our news outlets are saying the solimões has turned to a sand desert... can you imagine this watery sight turning into a desert in the span of a year?
while down south we are seeing amounts of rain and hailstorms the likes of which our infrastructure is simply not built to deal with, up north people who have built everything around the river are at a loss of what to do.
the houses there that are built to float are just on the ground, people who depend on fishing for a living have to walk kilometers to find any fish that are still alive at all, the biodiversity there is at risk, and on an economic level it's hard to grasp how people from the northern states are getting by at all - the main means of transport for ANYTHING in that region is via the river water. this will impact the region for months to come. it doesnt make a lot of sense to build a lot of roads bc it's just better to use the waterway system, everything is built around or floats on the river after all. and like, the water level is so incomprehensibly low the boats are just STUCK. people are having a hard time getting from one place to another - keep in mind the widest parts of the river are over 10 km apart!!
this shit is really serious and i am trying not to think about it because we have a different kind of problem to worry about down south but it's really terrifying when I stop to think about it. you already know the climate crisis is real and the effects are beyond preventable now (we're past global warming, get used to calling it "global boiling"). we'll be switching strategies to damage control from now on and like, this is what it's come to.
I don't like to be alarmist but it's hard not to be alarmed. I'm sorry that I can't end this post with very clear intructions on how people overseas can help, there really isn't much to do except hope the water level rises soon, maybe pray if you believe in something. in that regard we just have to keep pressing for change at a global level; local conditions only would not, COULD NOT be causing this - the amazon river is a CONTINENTAL body of water, it spans across multiple countries. so my advice is spread the word, let your representatives know that you're worried and you want change towards sustainability, degrowth and reduced carbon emissions, support your local NGOs, maybe join a cause, I don't know? I recommend reading on ecological and feminist economics though
however, I know you can help the affected riverine families by donating to organizations dedicated to helping the region. keep in mind a single US dollar, pound or euro is worth over 5x more in our currency so anything you donate at all will certainly help those affected.
FAS - Sustainable Amazon Fundation
Idesam - Sustainable Developent and Preservation Institute of Amazonas
Greenpeace Brasil - I know Greenpeace isn't the best but they're one of the few options I can think of that have a bridge to the international world and they are helping directly
There are a lot of other smaller/local NGOs but I'm not sure how you could donate to them from overseas, I'll leave some of them here anyway:
Projeto Gari
Caritás Brasileira
If you know any other organizations please link them, I'll be sure to reblog though my reach isn't a lot
thank you so much for reading this to the end, don't feel obligated to share but please do if you can! even if you just read up to here it means a lot to me that someone out there knows
also as an afterthought, I wanted to expand on why I think this hasn't made big news yet: because unlike the case of the 2020 forest fires, other countries have to hold themselves accountable when looking at this situation. while in 2020 it was easier to pretend the fires were all our fault and people were talking about taking the amazon away from us like they wouldn't do much worse. global superpowers have no more forests to speak of so I guess they've been eyeing what latin america still has. so like this bit of the post is just to say if you're thinking of saying anything of the sort, maybe think of what your own country has done to contribute to this instead of blaming brazil exclusively and saying the amazon should be protected by force or whatever
#solarpunk#sustainability#environmentalism#climate change#climate crisis#global warming#amazon rainforest#amazon river#geography#brazil#degrowth#punk#global boiling#ecopunk#anti capitalism#climate action#climate activism#the world does not die on my watch#i saw someone use that tag and uh i like it we should make it a thing#long post#:/ sorry i know no one likes lengthy bad news posts on their dashes but i've been thinking about this quite a bit#and i don't really know what to do to help bc i don't have money to donate and i am 10 thousand km away#i think i could be doing more to help but i am already trying my best#again dont feel obligated to share or read this but it would be nice and i would love you forever#have removed lbv from the post
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