#this is the reason why i can’t enjoy tiktok anime communities

[cry-ptidd]

i fucking hate tiktok communities

[wtheckzukasubs]

Sharing and gatekeeping in the fandom

This will be long and there’s a big chance it won’t reach those who I wish read it, but here it goes...

Though most should be aware, there have been an abusive use of subtitles in this fandom. Along with that, the fandom have been “outed” in platforms like Tiktok, where it gives over-exposition to our illegal subtitles and streamings.

Yes, making subtitles to a commercial show is illegal. Of course, streaming them is also illegal. However, we’re in a fandom that is hard to access (no subtitles in the releases, the need of specific VPNs or the high costs of using a proxy, shipping and paying for import tax—in my country the latter can be more expensive than the total I’ve paid for the product, when the product isn’t lost in the way). And we’re a fandom, we love our product, we want people to know it, and people won’t if they don’t understand it much less if they can’t have contact with them. That’s why we take these risks.

Why not just share with a friend, who we can trust not to leak us and get us sued/arrested? More than many, as someone who takes meds for anxiety and depression, I know it’s hard to become friends with people, say hello to me and I’ll take days to say hello back because I’ll be freaking about how much I should tell this stranger who wants to talk to me (and why would anyone? Did I do something wrong??). So, if it weren’t for these amazing people sharing there stuff with me, my knowledge of Takarazuka could have ended when I came back from Japan and could no longer have uninterested access to it. I wouldn’t pay my month’s salary on a video of a show I don’t even know I’ll like just to practice my Japanese, as it all started for me. That is why I know the importance of sharing beyond my real friends (there’s also that my non-zuka friends never became zuka friends lol).

However, and this becomes a cycle hard to break from, Takarazuka is a super small fandom. There may be people who will casually watch it, but those who are willing to put their time and/or money into supporting it as well as being involved in group activities only because they like the same thing, that is still a small number. We can have communities on Livejournal or servers on Discord with over 500 people, but how many are active? Even including all those who just forgot to leave the servers when they gave up on the fandom, 500 is still a small number for people all over the world supporting a company as large as Takarazuka.

My point is, we’re so so so small, anything we share is easily traced back. I have never said my name here, and you still know who I am, for example. It’s different from the anime comms who work in large teams, their subs are done in so many steps the translator would probably not recognize their own work. I’m one person. I know my word choices, I know where I tend to do things wrong.

This is not about getting credit or thanks (will never be about getting money). This is about being traceable to people who’d want to do me harm. I’m going first person, but I’m still lucky not to live in Japan (in this aspect only lol) and be the first to get the blow. Some of us, however, either live there or have ties there, which makes them sitting ducks for a lawsuit or at least a very traumatizing cease-and-desist order.

I’m keeping my subs available here. For now, I have weighed the risks for me, and I think it’s still worth it.

But if you are not sharing your stuff, things processed on your computer that could have your fingerprint on it (and probably do), you may not understand the we’re not keeping any gates but protecting our integrity. This doesn’t deny that gatekeeping exists in this fandom. It does in all fandoms. So do foreigners unaware they’re proliferating xenophobia against us foreigners enjoying Japanese media. It’s good to always ask ourselves why the hell we’re reinforcing this or that rule. Some had a reason at a point and lost importance along the way. Some were never meant to exist. Some are so selfish compared to the number of benefits nor following it would generate...

Notwithstanding that, don’t call it gatekeeping so lightly when it does endanger the individual, someone we can name and so could their lawyers.

I feel I had some more to say but I’ve forgotten. And it’s already too long.

Follow the rules of anyone sharing content with you. They’re probably the ones who personally went through the headache of making it happen, and each share to even a friend is increased liability. People sharing around are publicly exposing the very members of the fandom who make it possible to make it grow so we can have more people. The more we get, the more anonymous we become, the harder it is to point fingers. That’s how it’s becoming easier to access. But we’re still not there. We must continue to test limits to increase territory but doing it without risking others.

Lastly, thank you everyone who have alerted me, I’m not in the Tiktok generation and I never search for Takarazuka on Youtube, so I’d never know about it. And thank you all for keeping to the rules of this site.

(If anyone had the energy to read these ramblings and still want to leave their opinions, feel free.)

[kirbyspits]

A lot of Makorra shippers only moved on because they’re afraid of being called homophobic for not shipping korrasami. I LITERALLY saw someone on Instagram yesterday call a makorra shipper homophobic just for saying korrasami came out of nowhere. Also, Korrasami shippers LOVE to bring up the "popping bottles" backlash to make fun of makorra shippers. I left the tlok fandom in 2014 bc it was so toxic as a teenager, but now i’m 23. I’m no longer afraid of shipping something i always loved.

Ah, yes, I realized I didn’t address the fandom's toxicity in the last ask, but I’ve spoken about it before. I don't talk too much about the past because I was at the edge of the fandom back in 2014/2015. I was aware of fights, but the discussions I saw were moreso on bi-erasure. I saw one post saying it was wrong to ship Makorra. I remember being really confused about why Makorra was actually problematic, but I didn’t appreciate being told who I can ship the only dark-skinned woman protagonist on a major television network with. Why are you forcing me to ignore Mako and Korra’s relationship? Book 1 is practically about Mako and Korra, all other characters be damned. Me preferring the story of one pairing and a popular romance trope, second chances, is not wrong, and no one would know how I view the LGBT+ community based on who I ship in one show.

I ended up leaving the community because I was disappointed with season 4 in general. When Korra was released on Netflix, I figured it was time to rewatch the series again (plus, I’ve been binging all my favorite romance anime). So imagine my shock when I created a new Tumblr and Twitter account to rant and rave about TLOK, and I saw nothing but hate and name-calling in the Makorra tags. I saw people casually throwing around the word “homophobic,” and one person said people who don’t like Korrasami are just misogynistic. 

I just wanted pretty pictures, and people are out here psychoanalyzing shippers! So, I dug through some blogs and to feel more grounded with this fandom I didn’t recognize. After reading through their commentaries and experiences, I actually became more upset at Bryke than the teenagers/children who comment on Makorra posts saying how much better Korrasami is or accuse Makorra shippers of being homophobic. 

Yes, I truly believe these comments are mostly coming from people in their late teens and younger, at least in 2020. I can’t speak on 2014/2015, but since we were younger, the early 20s/late teens, I wonder if our age group was also the loudest. Don’t get me wrong, adults can be horrible people and can get really nasty. However, every time I look up the rudest commenters' profiles, they were teens. When one Korrasami shipper wrote “screw Makorra” on my AMV, I figured I’d have some fun trolling them until I clicked on their profile and saw a child. Needless to say, I ignored them and reflected on how parents are allowing their babies on TikTok while my parents freaked out at the idea of showing my picture on FB growing up. 

*I’m not still mad about that*

Also, while it doesn’t give anyone an excuse to make such a strong accusation, part of me, as a straight person, feels like I can’t get too upset because I also become very aware of my privilege. The space I’m in is a majority of young LGBT+ fans (at least on Twitter where I’ve seen the most toxicity). Some people see TLOK as their safe space and imply why should there be Makorra shippers when they have all these other cis/het shows they can engage with. It doesn’t work like that, of course. TLOK doesn’t only feature Bi characters. They’re POC/Indigenous, women, and Korra has dark skin. That’s a lot of marginalized communities. Makorra/TLOK is my comfort show, not because she’s with a man, but because of the reasons I just listed. Also shipping Korra with Mako doesn’t mean she’s no longer bi. She’d still be attracted to women.

Here’s who I am upset with tho, Bryke. Mostly Bryan. While Makorra shippers called out Korrasami shippers for cyberbullying, the focus seemed to be on Bryan for making it seem like there was something wrong with them for not finding Korrasami’s narrative satisfying. It was especially sad to read bloggers who identified as being part of the LGTB+ community saying Bryan’s hetero-lens dismissed their experience and then having to defend/proving themselves to anonymous messengers. 

Fans saw it as a betrayal. They saw it as the go-head for the rude Korrasami shippers to harass Makorra artists because they “didn’t watch the show correctly.” When the creator, the person you admire, also puts the blame on you, that kind of pain is on another level.

Korrasami shippers played a huge role in kicking Makorra shippers out of the fandom, but we can’t underestimate how much Bryan’s statement is a slap in the face. He used his characters and social justice as a shield for reasonable criticism. Just because we say a story is bad and Asami is grossly underwritten doesn’t mean that we’re against the idea of Korra and Asami being a couple. 

Of course, I’ve seen some very problematic statements from Makorra shippers. After all, homophobia is real. However, aside from the actual bigots, people have no issue with Korrasami. They just wanted a stronger connection between the girls. Many people seem to think Makorra shippers were looking for more romance, but we know we couldn't expect that. We can expect more screentime, musical cues, and more emotional support, which most people can see as platonic, but be romantic if you really want to. Mako’s interactions in book 4 can be seen as platonic, but all of us Makorra shippers saw it to be romantic.

Popping bottles! I completely missed that joke in 2014 and I discovered it this year. I agree it’s pretty annoying, but I become a troll and say I’m popping bottles for my Makorra moments. I don’t get any engagement, but I don’t seem to lose followers for it. Maybe popping bottles represents “straight-baiting?” I don’t get it why it’s so funny after all this time, but we’re Makorra shippers. We’re the joke 🙄

Anyways, to wrap up, lately, there seems to be a bit of a shift on Twitter. When I first created an account. I stayed in my little corner live-tweeting about TLOK and Makorra. I had to stop looking at the Makorra tag because it was so negative. Now, I’m seeing people admit they’re cute, and then saying they’re platonic soulmates. I’ll take it, although, as one commenter said, “that’s boring!” 

Someone led a Makorra Week back in October, and it was really nice! I have feeling people speaking up on the name-calling and reminding people that we’re talking about 2D characters helped. We just want to be left alone and enjoy the scenes we have in the show, art, and fanfiction. 

Keep shipping who you want! Don’t let any stranger shame you for your shipping preferences, especially in fiction! I’m so happy you feel more comfortable shipping these two dorks! You’re not alone! I’ve been a Makorra shipper since 2012, and while I find Korrasami cute (I love Korra, and I love Asami), Makorra is my OTP. I really like them, and I think they were meant for each other.

[ohshcscenerios]

with Christmas season approaching, what kind of 'Hallmark movie premise' would you see for Haruhi x the hosts??? bc everytime I see 'city lawyer woman and small town woodsman who teaches her about the magic of Christmas' I think Mori x Haruhi and like. Disney level animal sidekicks of Mori's raccoon and chick lol. Hope your halloween went well btw and ty for the video series!!! You have the prettiest brown eyes btw ^^

This is the cutest idea and I want a fan-fiction series of these hallmark stories 😭 Also thank you so much, I'm so glad you enjoyed the videos! I was very disheartened because they flopped on TikTok but I still had fun making them ☺️.

Haruhi x Takashi:

I can definitely see their story being a "city lawyer woman meets rugged yet shy woodsman". I can even see Takashi being a school teacher in this scenario. Maybe he still lives in the woods because he enjoys his privacy but from 7-3 he teaches history at the high school.

Now, I want to say their situation would be the classic "there are no hotel rooms available in this small town" and Haruhi so happens to meet Takashi at the only has station. He overhears her asking where she can stay the night and he knows she won't find a place at this time of night so he walks over and offers the small guest cabin on his property. He explains that's where his cousin stays when he comes to visit but she can stay there as long as she needs to.

Also, when Haruhi goes to the high school to talk to Takashi about the case she's working on his students ooh and awe at the hottie standing in the hallway and when he walks back inside they're all snickering that he has a secret girlfriend. He doesn't correct them, just tells them to turn to page 30 in their textbooks.

She offers to make them dinner as her way of thanking him for his generosity. They eat together almost every night. At first they talk about the case - or what Haruhi can disclose - and the town's history, but after a while they start talking about their lives, their families, their goals and dreams. Soon their light chatter isn't just friendly conversation anymore.

Takashi looks forward to seeing her after work and Haruhi finds a strange peace in living in the quiet wood. Then one night they're sitting outside under the stars with a cup of coffee and Takashi gathers the courage to ask if she has to leave when the case is done... or if she could stay with him.

Haruhi x Kyoya:

Hear me out; small town girl living in the big city to pursue her dream of becoming a lawyer meets cocky businessman who is visiting to scope out a coffee shop. He wants to buy it so he can turn it into an office for the Ootori Group so they'll have grounds in the city. It also so happens to be Haruhi's favorite coffee shop.

They meet by accident one morning but it's not the classic meet-cute scenario. Haruhi sits down with her cup by the window and Kyoya approaches her with a tablet in one hand and a tea in the other. He asks to sit with her since the place is packed and the only seat available is right in front of her. She says yes and for a while they sit in silence until Haruhi asks what he's working on. He states it's rude to pry on other's business. Haruhi says she can see him designing a building blueprint on his tablet and it looked cool. Kyoya adjusts his glasses and asks if the people here are always this nosey. Haruhi gets insulted. Kyoya doesn't care since the coffee shop will hopefully be gone by the end of the month and leaves.

They continue meeting each other nearly every day at the coffee shop. Their backhanded insults slowly turn into sarcastic flirting. Soon Kyoya and Haruhi are caught in the rain and he offers her a ride to her apartment. In the car he opens up about his life, confessing that his father is the one who is making him do this. If he can establish the Ootori Group in this city it'll help prove himself. Haruhi considers this and asks if that's really what he wants, if he really wants to take over the family business or if that's just another thing his father is making him do. Kyoya stays awake that night, unable to sleep because of that question.

The next day he texts his father and informs him the coffee shop isn't a good location for their office. His father is disappointed and makes a sly comment of asking one of his brothers to finish the task Kyoya couldn't do on his own.

That was what made Kyoya realize - he didn't want to work beneath this tyrant forever. He didn't want a life ruled by his father.

Kyoya returns to the coffee shop and sees Haruhi sitting in their usual spot. With a smile and a newfound goal, he approaches her with a tablet in one hand and a tea in the other.

Haruhi x Tamaki:

Why did I first think of Elf 🤣. In all seriousness, I think Tamaki would be the one hoping to fill Haruhi with Christmas cheer. I can see Haruhi working at a law firm but not as a lawyer, maybe as the receptionist, and she's all business. She has goals and she's intent on climbing the ladder to her own office. Tamaki is a new intern at the firm, hired during the Holidays since the Christmas season is usually the busiest time of year for the firm. Tamaki instantly takes a liking to Haruhi and stops by her desk every morning for a hello and a smile.

Soon he's bringing her a cup of coffee. Peppermint, mocha, salty caramel, whatever sweet seasonal flavors the area has to offer. He just wants to see her smile. One day she does.

Tamaki asks her out on a date which she declines but after five more attempts she says yes and meets him at a casual restaurant a few blocks from the firm.

Haruhi opens up and confesses Christmas is a hard time for her since losing her mother. Tamaki becomes solemn and says he can relate with her, that he too misses his mother during the holidays. Haruhi avoids the holidays while Tamaki embraces them - for the same reason.

With this new bondship they unknowingly become closer.

Tamaki still tries to get Haruhi into the Christmas mood but giving her small treats every morning and she complains he's going to make her fat but he only laughs it off.

Then the firm closes for the Christmas weekend and Haruhi is sitting in her apartment alone. No Christmas tree, no Christmas lights, not even a Santa mug... But she sees the pumpkin spiced muffin on her kitchen counter from that morning and decides...

She calls Tamaki and asks to spend Christmas with him.

Haruhi x Hikaru:

Ok hear me out; Haruhi is a lawyer with her own office on the top floor and Hikaru is the computer tech who is charged with teaching her how to use the new technology the firm just adopted. He has to teach her how to use the new tablets, presentation screens, and mobile devices. Haruhi wishes they would have left things as they are but she has no choice. Time to adapt.

With all the time they spend together they begin talking - then they talk over coffee - then they talk over dinner. At first Haruhi tells herself she's just making a new friend, that her busy work schedule doesn't allow for romance, that they can't be more than friends. She's been putting off relationships for so long so she could focus on her work. Surely Hikaru would understand.

He doesn't. Within a month's time his work there is done. He's installed all the new technology into her office, taught her how to use it, and left the manuals on her desk - along with a note explaining his feelings.

Haruhi realizes she loves him just as he's walking out of building and for the first time since working at the firm Haruhi is seen running down the stairs.

Haruhi x Kaoru:

Obviously Kaoru has to be a fashion designer. I'd say Haruhi is a small town girl going to a community college when Kaoru stumbles into town. She's going to get her associates there before moving onto a big-name college in the city for the rest of her law degree. Kaoru is just supposed to be passing through on his way to a convention.

He gets caught in a blizzard and ends up at Haruhi's front door. Thankfully she's able to live on her own in a one bedroom apartment so Kaoru takes the couch for the night. It all happens so fast they don't even have an introduction until morning.

Over coffee Kaoru introduces himself as a rising fashion designer and how he's supposed to be at a convention by the next day for fresh and upcoming trends. Haruhi sadly tells him it'll take a week for the plowers to reach her street. He's stuck there.

Kaoru, bored out of his mind, goes through Haruhi's closet and tosses her bland clothing on the bed. He promises to renovate her wardrobe when he gets the chance to which Haruhi refuses. She doesn't need to look like a rich snob. Kaoru reminds her law school will demand a sense of fashion, even if it's just business suits. Name brands have a voice in the world in the law.

During their time together Haruhi and Kaoru realize they get along very well. During the week stuck inside they sit by the floor heater with their instant hot chocolates and joke that it beats a roaring fire.

Soon the blizzard stops and the roads are plowed within 9 days time. Kaoru already missed the convention and he's very disappointed but he's still hesitant to leave. He asks Haruhi when she'll obtain her associates degree. She says by spring. Kaoru smiles and tells her to live with him when she goes to college in the city. He had a spacious three bedroom apartment on the skirt of the city - with a walk in closet.

Haruhi x Mitsukuni:

Forgive me but I can't think of a scenario where Mitsukuni isn't an elf in disguise 🤣. It's the perfect job for him; he'd be surrounded by sweets and toys all day. Maybe he has to act as Haruhi's Christmas guardian. He has to help her fall in love with Christmas again.

They don't fall in love... I can just see them becoming good friends. Maybe Mitsukuni gives her a snow globe of the North Pole and says that's where he'll be if she ever needs him again.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. How has covid affected you? It took me a long time to feel comfortable enough going anywhere. Prior to a few months ago I only left the house for doctor appointments. I was honestly worried about how long I would feel that way and if and when I’d be ready. I still feel anxious when going out, though; like I’m still very conscious of the risk of COVID and try to be really diligent about it. I don’t go out a lot either, but it’s been nice going to the movies again or grocery shopping with my mom and not just doctor appointments.

2. What is a comfort show of yours ? Gilmore Girls.

3. Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in? I’m very open in these surveys, but in person I’m more closed off.

4. Favourite fast food joint? Jack in the Box for their chicken tenders.

5. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? Yes. I just don’t know what that reason is.

7. Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions? Yeah, there’s definitely a lot of that.

8. What were you doing 10 years ago? I was 22 and attending community college. I was in better health and actually had friends.

9. Do you call out Karen’s when they’re harassing a cashier? No.

10. Animal crossing , yay or nay? I was obsessed like all of 2020, but then it fizzled out for me this year. I haven’t played since the beginning of the year.

11. Why do you like to do surveys? A space for me to vent and ramble when I want to and gives me something to do. I really just enjoy doing them even though the repetitiveness gets annoying.

12. Did you ever have a MySpace ? Yes. 

13. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? No, I wouldn’t say that. I mean, maybe for some people but not inherently. 

14. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no , would you create one? If yes what’s your content? I have one, but I don’t upload videos myself I just have it to subscribe to others, make playlists, be able to comment, etc.

15. Are you a math person? Nooo. Math and I have always been enemies.

16. What’s the worse thing someone has said to you? I don’t know. I honestly feel like I’ve said the worst things to myself.

17. Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad? I’ve stayed friends with some people for that reason. :X

18. Would you ever date someone online? I don’t see that happening.

19. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? I have been ghosted and I’ve ghosted. :/

20. When do you think things will be normal again? Things will remain different going forward, we have a new normal now.

21. Do you watch anime? No.

22. Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2020 is over ? Welp, we’re nearing the end of 2021 now so it’s a bit too late for that. 

23. How old did/do you turn this year ? I turned 32.

24. Do you like tiktok? That was another thing I was obsessed with all last year that fizzled out for me this year.

25. Do you ever miss vine? Eh, I moved on and then got into TikTok for awhile like I said, which I think is better.

26. How are you doing, seriously? Not well.

27. Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t? Yes.

28. Do you make jokes to cope with your problems? I do have self-deprecating humor and joke about some of my circumstances in a bleak way. 

29. Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend? Yes. :X

30. Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar? Not that I’m aware of.

31. Long or short surveys? Long.

32. If ur in school , are you doing it on zoom or in class? I’m done with school. 

33. Would you ever have a pet rat? Nooo.

34. Favourite memory with your best friend? I have countless favorite memories.

35. Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube? ASMR, vlogs, some lifestyle, some drama, Disney related videos, videos about abandoned places, etc.

36. Are you allergic to anything serious? No.

37. Dream job? I don’t have one.

38. Do you think dreams mean anything? Some, yes.

39. Fav clothing brand? The brands from Hot Topic and Boxlunch.

40. Do you miss anyone? Yes. 

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #452

“what i’ve felt, what i’ve known, never shined doing what i’ve shown  /  never free, never me, so i dub thee unforgiven”

Are you a part of the LGBTQ+ community? I am. Do you have Tiktok? Are you addicted? I don't. Do you enjoy being outside? IF it's cool outside, yes. Do you like being around kids? No, not really. Have you ever gotten Covid-19? No. What's your ethnicity? Caucasian. If you were president, what's the first change you would make? I'd probably put in place free healthcare first. What is an animal that you'd like to have as a pet but it's not allowed? If an animal shouldn't be a pet, there's a reason. So none. What was your favorite meal as as kid? Has it changed now? It was spaghetti. I still love it, but it's not my favorite now. Which doctor is your least favorite? Primary, eye, dentist, gynecologist, etc. Potential TMI answer follows. So, the VERY easy answer is gynecologist. Like, I've never even BEEN to one because I'm too scared. Not because I think they'll find anything wrong, but because I'm just very self-conscious about stuff like that and I do fucking not want some random stranger laying a goddamn finger on me like that. My doctor is really pushing me to go by now though as a safety precaution, but I just really, really don't want to. Do you feel that you'd be any good at solving a murder? No. I'm so clueless. You own a dragon, but it doesn't breathe fire; what comes out instead? Water, I guess? That could be beneficial in a lot of ways. Have you ever been sprayed by a giant rain puddle when a car passed by? No. Do you remember the last movie you saw while on a date? Yeah, IT with Girt. What color is your iPod? Hot pink. Do you think baby clothes are adorable? Ha ha yeah, I just tend to like miniature things in general, and babies are just... miniature humans lmao. Whose house did you last sleep over at? Sara's. If you could adopt 3 unique pets, what would you get? A plains hognose morph (probably a lavender, or snow?), a Brazilian black tarantula, andddd... an African fat-tailed gecko morph. What grade are you in, if you’re still in school? I'm not in school. Do you get a lot of tourists in the area where you live? Hell no, there's not shit here. Do you enjoy watching vlogs? Only occasionally by certain people I like. What was the last new video game you were excited about? It really sucks I don't have the appropriate console to play it myself, but I was SUPER stoked for Resident Evil 8: Village to be released and literally watched like four different playthroughs at the same time, ha ha. Have you ever talked about your period with a guy? Were they okay with it, or grossed out? In a three-and-a-half years intimate relationship, it obviously came up before. He didn't care, because he wasn't 12. Have you ever been to small church/bible group/study? Forced to or wanted to? I was forced to go to Sunday school, as well as church. Have you ever been to an Asian (any type) market? If so, what is the closest one to you? I've never seen one here, even. How would you feel if your significant other had tattoos? That'd be a bonus to how physically attracted I was to them, probably, lol. I just love tattoos. Where was the last place on your body that you felt physical pain? My uterus is screaming. :') What are you listening to right now? I am fucking unhealthily obsessed with Violet Orlandi & Skar's cover of "The Unforgiven" by Metallica lkasdjkflawjerwr like I will not stop listening to it lol. Last person you texted? My mom. Have you ever gone out of your way to make someone happy? Yes. Is there a certain person that makes you feel safe? My mom. Have you ever used a chainsaw? Nooo, and I don't want to. Do you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa? crihmuh Ever been so stunned, no words came out? Oh yes. Ever written that you were going to end your life? I have. I was fucking stupid and made a suicide note on Facebook. I genuinely wanted everyone on there to know what they meant to me, so like it seriously wasn't for attention, which I still worry people think that. Ever put fake bugs around your house to scare someone? Not to scare people, no. I have two faux tarantulas in my room as decor, though. Is there a reason you have the name you do? Not particularly. My parents just liked it, ig. Choose: the best song by Green Day? Aw, that's way too hard! I love Green Day. I guess if I absolutely had to pick, maybe "21 Guns." It's just a truly beautiful song. Have you ever tried to “save”, or “fix” someone, before? No. I don't believe that works and only damages you. Were ethics discovered or invented? That's a good question. I really can't say I know. Do you put effort into getting tan during the summer? Nah. Are you a fairly self-motivated person? NO. I need external motivation pretty badly. Be honest, does the person you like actually deserve you? Or are they actually not worthy of your affections? I don't deserve him. List 5 things that have been on your mind most recently. 1.) wtf I feel about Girt and wtf to do about it; 2.) my weight; 3.) what job I'm going to search for once I make progress at the gym; 4.) whether or not to quit photography and focus my efforts elsewhere; and 5.), as always, Jason. What is better, history or science? Science is way more interesting. Do you flinch at the sight of blood? No. Do you enjoy swimming? Yeah. When you swear, is it usually in general or directed at someone? In general. I don't generally swear at people. Are any of your friends hoping to be famous one day? Yeah; I've got a couple of musician friends. Who would you kiss right now if you could kiss anyone? GO AWAY Ever slapped a guy in the face? No. I don't hit people. Do you think you’re a good friend? I sure try to be. Have you ever thrown your cell phone in anger? When? I have on only one occasion when I Jason and I were texting and he pissed me off. I don't remember what we were even talking about now. My phone was fine btw, ha ha, I didn't like, chuck it. What color of hair do you find the sexiest on the opposite gender? Out of the natural hair colors, black. But I really like hair that's dyed exotic colors on like... anyone. Have you slept over at a member of the opposite sex’s house in their bed? Yeah. When you lost your virginity, were you sober? Yeah. Have you ever given your phone number to somebody you met online? Quite a few people, actually. Most of my friendships are online. On average, how much does gas cost where you live? When I was out today, it was $2.99. Why are you happy? Who said I was? I'm not happy. What is in your pocket? Nothing. What was the worst feeling you last felt? Severe indecision. Worthlessness. Yesterday had some grim periods. What would you name your future son? I always answer with the first name, "Damien," so let's see about a middle name... uhhhh... maybe Damien James? I'm not really sure about a middle name, but that sounds nice. What are you waiting for? Girt to message me back. He barely touches Facebook, so I can't blame him, but I wanna plan a day for him to visit and we can hang and I can decide what the fuck it is I feel towards him. What takes your breath away? Big waterfalls, to name a major one. What fact of life would you rather not know about? That the world doesn't give a fuck about you. It sounds super pessimistic, I know, but it doesn't. There is no sentience to it, no will to keep you safe and happy, it just... exists, and we're thrown onto it to figure it out. Unfair things happen. That's life. ... Damn, this answer was dark lol. What’re a few things that automatically make you go, “Awww?” Meerkat pups doing so much as blinking, guys being really cute with kids, seeing elderly couples holding hands and just generally being precious, proposals (especially gay ones just because of how hard that was fought for), seeing literally any picture in existence of Mark and Amy together, veterans coming home and their dogs freaking out... Man, a lot of things. This question brightened my mood to think about. :') Are you easily scared by horror movies? Nah. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go? Illinois to visit Sara. :') I really wanna hang. Do you know anyone with the same birthday as you? No, but a former best friend had her bday a day before mine. Are you wearing a ring? I always wear two. Do you hate to hug people? No, I love hugs. How many rooms does your house consist of? Seven. If you could be on any TV show, which would it be and why? Can I be a Pokemon trainer, pls???? What would you want to be famous for? Most ideally, a great wildlife photographer. The kind photography students would see and be inspired by. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? No, I sleep with a real animal, ha ha. What is your favorite brand of hairspray? I don’t have one. What is in your backyard? Not very much... I'm barely ever even out there, so I barely know. There's one shed, a small tree, and uh... idk. Who is/was your favorite teacher? I have a few. Mrs. Whitley, Mr. Proctor, Coach Collie, and Miss Tobey are some. What’s your favorite non-sexual thing to do with a girl/boy? Play video games together. Do you cheer for the bad guy? Ha, I have a tendency to do that... Would you rather start a new career or a new relationship? Career. I want one so very badly. Something on the human body that grossest you out the most: So even though I am sexually attracted to any gender, nevertheless, genitalia gross me the fuck out. Either kind. Penises especially though like what the fuck- Do you think it’s easier to raise a boy a girl? Why? From most parents, I've heard boys are much easier because girls (supposedly) tend to have more of an attitude. What is your favorite strawberry flavored food? Strawberry is generally my favorite flavor for like, everything, so this is just about impossible. Maybe uhhh slushies? What is the oldest video game system you’ve played? An Atari.

[hyocherie]

Jikook: T w o W o r l d s (ジクック: 2つの世界)

Next: Previous: 

P r o l o u g e

1.

"Oi, Jimin!"

Jimin looked behind him, his dark ginger-tinted locks stirring in the wind. His eyes were sparkling hazelnut and his nine-tailed tinted auburn. The young fox faced the one who called him, a small smile curling up his lips.

"My darling twin. What's wrong?"

"I'm hungry," Taehyung whined, pouting and putting his hand in his stomach. "Where's mom?"

"I don't know, I've been looking for her everywhere..." He whispered, staring at the crystal waterfalls. The sudden calmness of it makes Jimin lose his worries and relax, that's the power of this waterfall.  Its name is the Oshinkoshin Waterfall or in Japanese, Oshinkoshin-no-taki [オシンコシンの滝].

"It's funny on how we share this waterfall with other human beings," Taehyung glanced at the waterfall, his eyes sparkling from its crystalline beauty. "It's quite unfortunate that we don't get to communicate with them or anything."

"The waterfall?"

"Humans, stupid!"

"We're not allowed...remember what happened to the late princess?"

"Yeah...she fell in love with a human being. I want to too..."

"You want to die? We saw the late princess being killed in front of our eyes. We were children back then!"

"But It makes me wonder," Taehyung murmured, bending down and staring at the small lilac flower. "Why aren't we allowed?"

He then looked at his twin brother, who was still looking for at the waterfall.

"No one knows."

Jimin then sighed, sitting down beside Taehyung, who was holding the flower with amusement in his hands.

"Do you also know the reason why?"

"Why we're not allowed?"

"No..," Jimin then stared at the sky.

"You know, you stare at a lot of things."

"It's a habit."

"Okay.., "Taehyung then went back into playing with the small flower.

"Answer my question.."

"You haven't even answered mine!"

"What's yours?" Jimin then looked at his brother.

"Umm, is it about the relationship with human beings?"

"No, not that..."

"Then what?"

"Why are we called wicked foxes? Evil in any way possible..."

"Where did you get that information? I didn't know that..."

"I was hiding there," He pointed the small bush right beside the large enchanted tree. "Then I heard human beings talking about us."

"What'd they say?"

"They said that there's a myth that Kitsunes like us live here and steal the lives of humans who trespass our enchanted waterfall. Or curse them. One even said that we can shapeshift as humans like them then act like them to steal and curse them."

"We can really shapeshift...right?"

"Yes, we can turn into humans like them or other animals, but now it's forbidden because of what happened with the late princess."

"Aww...too bad."

"I know."

The silence then fell on them, only the water splashing is allowed to speak. The wind rustled the leaves, making other dead leaves come with it. The sky was clear cerulean, with cotton-like clouds walking in the sky. The sun shone through the clouds, shining sweet light to the land. Jimin then lied on the grass and closed his eyes, the sunlight reflecting on his snow-white skin. His nine tails became a pillow to his head and a small scarf protecting his from the cold of early autumn. His favourite season is coming, and he is very excited about it.

"Oh, by the way," Taehyung queried, covering Jimin's face from the sun. "Why were you looking for Mother?"

"Oh? She left the house hours ago. She should be back by this hour, she said..."

"WHAT?!" Taehyung exclaimed in Jimin's face. He shoved his twin away.

"Don't scream at me..."

"Sorry, my darling twin."

"..."

"..."

A sudden silence fell on them again.

Then, something from out of the bush ran towards them. It's Nayeon, a fellow Kitsune friend of theirs. Nayeon is the same age as them, but she became the older sister of the two.

"Nayeon?" Jimin interrogated. "What's wrong?"

"Your mom..." she struggled to release the words from her mouth as she was panting. She held on Jimin's sleeve. "Your mom..."

"What happened to our mom?" Taehyung helped Nayeon up.

"R-run.."

"What?"

"RUN NOW! THE GUARDS ARE LOOKING FOR YOU TWO! GO!"

"Nayeo-"

"Leave me! Get all your things and go!"

Nayeon pushed Taehyung and Jimin away, she collapsing to the ground because of exhaustion.

She looked at the two confused brothers.

"Now! They'll kill you!"

"I need to save mo-"

"If you go," Nayeon cut Jimin from speaking. "You'll die. NOW GO!"

Taehyung and Jimin ran as fast as they can, leaving Nayeon alone.

2.

Taehyung and Jimin packed their things and left the house immediately. They shapeshift in their fox form because that's the only thing they're allowed to shapeshift into. They ran across the forest, not leaving any trace of their smell and footprints.

"Now, where are we going, my darling twin?" Taehyung asked whilst running beside his brother.

"there's a forest in Tokyo. Grandmama lives there with Jihyo. We'll go there."

"Jihyo?"

"You forgot her? She's the one Grandmama adopted years ago."

"Oh, right. Yeah..."

And the twins run towards Tokyo to their Grandmama. that will surely give them safety.

3.

"Where are the twins?" the Imperial chief asked the subordinate while holding a dead woman in this hands.

"I don't know sir-"

"FIND THEM NOW!" The Imperial Chief Enraged with anger. "I WANT TO KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND WHERE THEY'RE GOING! BRING THEM TO ME ALIVE!"

He then threw the dead body in the waterfall, tinting half of the water with blood.

"Yes, sir," the subordinate then bowed down, ordered his men and went out to find the twins.

"I'll find you soon," the chief whispered. "Your life will pay for your sins."

The prologue is done! I didn't actually expect this myself to go into this type of situation...😅😅😅 silly me. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this prologue and it gave you more interest in reading this series of mine. I got to rate this mature for how I think the story will turn out with a lot of killing and violence, I guess...😅😅😅

But just a little reminder, I may not post that more often, both the Two Worlds and Hanahaki Series because there are upcoming tests that I have to study and 2 more projects left to finish. I'm also going to change my glasses in the meantime and I can't see with my glasses so this might take a while. But, I hope you put this story in your list for updates. I'll be also posting it on the stream if I can. I'll also be posting this on Quotev, and I also hope you check that out.

But anyway, thank you for staying tuned! I'll be looking forward to telling the story of Kitsune Jimin and Human Jungkook with you!

You can follow me on:

Twitter: Moon_ARMY007

Wattpad and Quotev: Moon_cupoftea

Weverse: Moon_tea (BTS) Sun_c (TXT)

Pinterest: ムーン

Instagram: moon_army007

Tiktok: sanaoil_ooo

Bye!

I also felt like this prologue would need to be continued. But no, I won't. It'll be revealed mostly in the story. And yes, crossovers.  

[eldritchsurveys]

995.

by skiasurveys

1. How has covid affected you? >> Not immensely, all told. I was already pretty much a homebody, and though I do miss eating/drinking out, I can really do without it. Wearing masks took a bit to get used to, but so does anything. I’m fine with it now -- in fact, I think it would feel incredibly weird to go out without one in the future. I don’t personally know anyone who’s caught it and I haven’t either (as far as I’m aware), so I haven’t been directly affected by the actual virus (knock on wood, of course).

2. What is a comfort show of yours? >> The X-Files, Shameless, Person of Interest, Key & Peele, The Good Place. There are probably more, but those are the ones I thought of immediately. Oh! Also Stargate (SG-1 and Atlantis). 3. Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in? >> I’m open about the things that have happened to me and how they’ve affected me, but I’m very reserved about being emotionally vulnerable with people. You can do the former without doing the latter at all, you see. 4. Favourite fast food joint? >> I don’t have one. 5. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? >> I have yet to form an actual opinion about this.

6. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? >> I started trying some trauma work strategies, like Inner Child work and stuff. Also, I started and stuck with FFXIVWrite2020 until the end! That was amazing for me, I’ve never succeeded at anything like that before. 7. Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions? >> Well, a lot of them are -- I mean, I’ve taken, what, tens of thousands of surveys over time? Eventually you notice the common threads. But there are some common questions that have changeable answers, which is okay. 8. What were you doing 10 years ago? >> I’m not sure. 9. Do you call out Karen’s when they’re harassing a cashier? >> I don’t call out people for harassing cashiers. I rarely even encounter that when I’m out shopping. I think if I saw that happening, I’d be more into trying to be kind and sympathetic to the cashier rather than starting a confrontation with an already-confrontational person, which just adds more stress to everyone involved. 10. Animal crossing , yay or nay? >> Meh. I like some aspects of it, and I might play a little of it now that the Halloween/fall stuff is out, but I don’t enjoy the constant chore-y aspect of Animal Crossing games. It’s also not very stimulating and I don’t feel like I’m progressing in any sort of way, there’s no story... all the things I usually like in video games are absent. Just not my kind of game, all told, but I do think it’s cute to look at. 11. Why do you like to do surveys? >> I just do. I don’t put too much thought into it, it’s just something I enjoy and find stimulating. 12. Did you ever have a MySpace ? >> Yeah, I did. 13. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? >> Not inherently. 14. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no , would you create one? If yes what’s your content? >> No. I have no interest in creating one. I like to consume others’ creations just fine. 15. Are you a math person? >> As in, a person who finds maths engaging and is fluent in its various languages? Not particularly. I do find mathematics interesting, but a bit inaccessible and definitely difficult to parse. 16. What’s the worse thing someone has said to you? >> *shrug* 17. Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad? >> No, that seems like an odd thing to do, to me. 18. Would you ever date someone online? >> I met Sparrow on this exact website. 19. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? >> Yeah. No, I don’t believe ghosting is defensible behaviour at all, and I hate that so many people think it is. I’m already distrustful of people, the knowledge that so many people will gleefully ghost instead of being communicative about their needs or desires (even if that need or desire is to break contact) is just fuel on the fire. 20. When do you think things will be normal again? >> As in, when will things return to a non-pandemic state? I don’t know. I’m not interested in speculating about it, either. I just want to focus on what I’m doing here and now to keep myself and the people around me safe. 21. Do you watch anime? >> I do. 22. Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2020 is over? >> I don’t have any. I made one goal this year and actually completed it, so that’s some crazy progress on my end, lol. 23. How old did/do you turn this year? >> I turned 33. 24. Do you like tiktok? >> I’m not crazy about it. I downloaded it out of spite because of the whole impending-ban thing, but I don’t really use it often, just to look at stuff Sparrow sends me, really. I prefer long-form content, after all. 25. Do you ever miss vine? >> I never used Vine in the first place. Most of my exposure to vines came when Vine shut down and people made and shared all those compilation videos. 26. How are you doing, seriously? >> I’m doing pretty well, believe it or not. I mean, I certainly don’t believe it, lol. But I’m trying to trust Can Calah’s assessment -- that I’ve come much farther than I can imagine, and that nearly every day I do or think something that I wouldn’t have been capable of five, ten years ago. 27. Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t? >> No. 28. Do you make jokes to cope with your problems? >> I make jokes to add levity to my problems, because it helps me not spiral. If I take things too seriously, they become too big and heavy to carry. I need to remember the lightness of things, and how absurd life really is. 29. Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend? >> I don’t think so. 30. Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar? >> Probably. 31. Long or short surveys? >> Medium to long. 32. If ur in school , are you doing it on zoom or in class? >> --- 33. Would you ever have a pet rat? >> I love rats, and I love when other people who love rats have them, but I don’t think I would keep one as a pet myself. 34. Favourite memory with your best friend? >> --- 35. Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube? >> Music videos, film analyses, video game lore breakdowns, let’s plays, etc. 36. Are you allergic to anything serious? >> No. 37. Dream job? >> --- 38. Do you think dreams mean anything? >> I think some of mine mean something to my waking life, and some of them don’t. It’s a case-by-case basis for me. 39. Fav clothing brand? >> --- 40. Do you miss anyone? >> No.

[poisonpeche]

Thank you so much for the tag, Sage! 🖤

💞Why/how did you start writing fics on tumblr?💞

To even be considered remotely legitimate enough to be included as a writer now of all things has me feeling many things…especially alongside so many talented fic writers I’ve gotten know and support in every way I can for the past couple of months I started my tumblr.

I recently turned 30 in December, and I had a revelation to get in touch with all of the things I wasn’t allowed to enjoy growing up, but always desperately wanted to allow myself to be apart of in some way. That change on my 30th birthday began a long road to discover those interests. One that was huge for me was anime. Looking back on it now, I don’t know why I found it to be such a daunting leap in media because I had always enjoyed the art style from afar. For many years I wanted to be an animator, but for personal reasons I lost my way for a long time. AOT & JJK were my first animes, and I fell in love. The explosive energy married with beautiful hand drawn 2D animation, regrettably a dying art form in the States, had me instantly hooked. I had to have more.

From there, I wanted to keep that promise to myself to explore my new interests that childhood me would’ve fucking adored, so I made a TikTok & found so many fan fics, another taboo territory for me growing up. The first story I ever read was “Paychecks with a Side of Intimacy” on Ao3 by @leyyvi & I devoured it. It may sound silly, but I owe that story and the lovely author so much gratitude because the experience of being up all night immersed in another world really ignited my passion for creating again. I hadn’t drawn in months, and that story alone pushed me to draw my first ever fan art. It’s only been a few months since then, but allowing myself the space to build a community of creators and enjoy their work has become so commonplace now and brings me so much genuine fondness and acceptance.

Since then, I’ve been making art nearly every week, and I can’t thank all of these artists enough that pushed me so unceremoniously and unknowingly out of my funk. You have my undying love.

As a writer, for some reason it feels bigger to tell a story from beginning to end, and I’m taking it slow and learning new things with each piece I put out into the world. Even though I consider myself more of an illustrator (nothing brings me more joy than to illustrate other writers’ fics), I wrote my first drabble to accompany an illustration only a few days ago. I’m still trying to find my voice and enjoy the process moreover anything else. In any case, I’m excited to keep making art and writing for myself and anyone that will have me.

Tagging: @lacheri @curiositykilled-the-kitty @alexackrman @sweetforlevi @levi-my-beloved and anyone else that would like to share their story! 🖤

Trying to make a tag game, soooo:

💞 Why/How did you start writing fics on tumblr? 💞

I was a burnt out and didn't know where to head next after four years on wattpad, figured I'd be reader on tumblr

And now I write fics here 😌

Tagging: @yesamu @rowsn @blondeboyfriend @ack3rlady @ghost-party @darkcloakedinfinitevoid @levi-supreme @stigandr-the-cat @sinnerofthewalls @mrskenmakozume @titan-fodder @killerbananas

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. How has covid affected you? It just made me even more of a hermit crab than I already was, which I acknowledge is absolutely nothing at all compared to what so many people around the world experienced. It’s heartbreaking to say the least to see the tremendous effect it had. 

2. What is a comfort show of yours ? Shows I grew up with and have seen many times. The other day I couldn’t sleep at all and I decided to put on The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh, which used to come on the Disney Channel early in the morning when I was a kid and it was just really comforting and helped me relax enough to fall asleep. 

3. Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in? I’m quite open on here that’s for sure. I’m not nearly as open in person as I am in these surveys. 

4. Favourite fast food joint? I don’t have a particular favorite, really, it just depends what I’m in the mood for.

5. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? Yes.

6. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? Nothing. This year has been awful so far due to some health setbacks. 

7. Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions? Oh, most definitely. I guess I have to expect that considering how many I take and how long I’ve been doing these things. Still, it does get annoying when the same questions come up a lot back to back. So often I’ll take a survey and then do another after and end coming across the same questions. 

8. What were you doing 10 years ago? Ten years ago I was 21. Wow. I was attending community college, I had friends and a social life, I was actually doing something... sigh. Soooo much has changed.

9. Do you call out Karen’s when they’re harassing a cashier? No.

10. Animal crossing , yay or nay? Yay. I was addicted like all of last year and then for some reason I stopped playing a few months ago. I should start up again. 

11. Why do you like to do surveys? I just genuinely enjoy doing them. Besides giving me something to do, these are like my diary entries as well. I’m able to vent and ramble, which is often needed. I also like the interesting and random questions to think about and answer. I just like ‘em, man. 

12. Did you ever have a MySpace ? Yep. I was super into Myspace back in it’s heyday.

13. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? I wouldn’t say they’re toxic, but I don’t know how well they work out. You definitely have to make sure you’ve very, very clear on what all the break entails and that you’re both on the same page. 

14. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no , would you create one? If yes what’s your content? I have a YouTube account so I can subscribe to accounts and whatnot, but I myself don’t make videos. I have no interest at all in that.

15. Are you a math person? Noooo. Math and I have always been enemies. 

16. What’s the worse thing someone has said to you? Hm. I feel like the worst things have been said by me to myself. :/

17. Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad? Kind of. :/

18. Would you ever date someone online? Nahh.

19. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? I sure have and unfortunately I’ve done it as well. :/

20. When do you think things will be normal again? I don’t know...

21. Do you watch anime? No.

22. Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2020 is over ? Welp, that passed. 

23. How old did/do you turn this year ? I’ll be 32. D:

24. Do you like tiktok? I was hooked for a good while and then fell off. It’s been a couple months now since the last time I’ve been on there. 

25. Do you ever miss vine? We have TikTok now. But there were a lot of good Vines that still get mentioned and people remember. That was a whole different time. 

26. How are you doing, seriously? In the words of MCR, “I’m not o-fucking-kay.” It’s been rough.

27. Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t? Kind of.

28. Do you make jokes to cope with your problems? Self-deprecating jokes are definitely something I do. 

29. Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend? Yes. :X I feel like I’ve definitely been on the other side of that as well, though. I always felt like I was closer to someone and they didn’t feel the same way. 

30. Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar? Not to my knowledge.

31. Long or short surveys? Long.

32. If ur in school , are you doing it on zoom or in class? --

33. Would you ever have a pet rat? Gah, no.

34. Favourite memory with your best friend? There’s way too many. 

35. Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube? ASMR, vlogs, Disney related videos (history of Disney and its parks, history and information about the movies and TV shows past and present, theories, fun facts, etc), abandoned buildings, lifestyle videos, some drama videos...

36. Are you allergic to anything serious? No, thankfully. 

37. Dream job? I don’t have one. :/

38. Do you think dreams mean anything? Sometimes.

39. Fav clothing brand? I don’t have a favorite brand, really. 

40. Do you miss anyone? My loved ones who have passed away.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. How has covid affected you? Fortunately, so far neither myself nor anyone close to me has had it. My parents have been able to keep their jobs. My brother was out of work briefly when his job closed, but thankfully he was able to get another job a few months later with the same company. I’m able to stay home with the exception of my once a month doctor appointment, so I’ve been able to quarantine. I am very thankful we haven’t been affected terribly. However, it certainly has caused a lot of stress and anxiety to say the least. It makes scared. And sad. Everyday I’m afraid to read the news. I worry a lot about my family who like I said has been working this whole time during this, so they’re out there around other people all the time. I worry about people not taking the necessary precautions and not taking it seriously. I know people are tired of it so they’re started loosening up. I’m afraid there’s no end in sight to this anytime soon. :/ It’s also made me even more of a homebody than I already was since like I said I only ever leave the house once a month for a doctor appointment. Which, by the way, makes me very anxious. I’ve been in this house for most of this year, afraid to go anywhere or do anything. I don’t when I’ll feel safe to do anything.  2. What is a comfort show of yours ? Probably shows like The Golden Girls, Roseanne, The Gilmore Girls, Full House, Boy Meets World...stuff that makes me feel nostalgic.  3. Are you open about your past or do you not let anyone in? I’m pretty open in these surveys that’s for sure. I’m more closed off in person. 4. Favourite fast food joint? It changes. Lately, I’ve been into chicken tenders, fries, and cheesecake from Carl’s Jr. 5. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? Yes.

6. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? Nothing. 7. Do u ever feel like surveys are usually the same questions? Too many of the same basic questions like about your relationship status and exes and who you last kissed.  8. What were you doing 10 years ago? Wow, I was 21 years old. I was attending community college. I had friends and a social life. I wasn’t without some of my health issues, but it wasn’t like it is now that’s for sure. 9. Do you call out Karen’s when they’re harassing a cashier? No. 10. Animal crossing , yay or nay? Yay. I love New Horizons. It’s the only Animal Crossing game I’ve played, but I’ve been enjoying it since I started playing back in like April. 11. Why do you like to do surveys? They’re like my diary entries. I’m able to express how I’m feeling and vent and ramble when needed. There’s questions that prompt and allow me to get stuff off my chest. They give me something to do, something to distract myself with, stuff to think about. And like diaries, I’m able to look back and see how things have changed and what was going on at different times.  12. Did you ever have a MySpace ? Yep. I was super into Myspace back in the day. It’s crazy how one day everyone seemed to just leave and migrate over to Facebook and that ended up becoming the popular thing and Myspace and was seen as lame.  13. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? I wouldn’t say they’re toxic.  14. Do you have a YouTube channel? If no , would you create one? If yes what’s your content? I have an account, but that’s so I can subscribe, favorite, add videos to be watched later, and comment if I feel the need to do so. I’m not a YouTube creator. 15. Are you a math person? Nooo. 16. What’s the worse thing someone has said to you? Hm. 17. Have you ever befriended someone because you felt bad? No. 18. Would you ever date someone online? No. 19. Have you been ghosted before? Would you ghost someone? Yes, I have. And I’ve ghosted. :/ 20. When do you think things will be normal again? I don’t know. :/ I mean, I don’t think things will ever be exactly how they were pre-covid. Things are and will be different, we’ll have a new normal going forward. I just pray for the day we have it under control and better managed and it’s not this major threat and looming fear over us. That we’ll be able to go out and not have a high chance of catching something potentially life threatening or deadly. We’ll always be mindful of it and I think we should keep our precautions in place as our new normal, but things will be safer and not as strict. 21. Do you watch anime? No. 22. Biggest goal you wanna reach before 2020 is over ? Just get through it. 23. How old did/do you turn this year ? I turned 31. 24. Do you like tiktok? Yeah. I end up spending a lot of time on there.  25. Do you ever miss vine? I went on Vine and there are the classic funny vines that people still remember, but I’m honestly into TikTok a lot more. I spend more time on there and there’s people I follow who I’ve really taken an interest in and keep up with. There’s the funny side of TikTok and people tend to just think of the dance trends on there, but honestly there’s a really wholesome side to it that I really enjoy as well. 26. How are you doing, seriously? ”Do you have the time to listen to me whine about nothing and everything all at once? I am one of those melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.” 27. Is there someone you want to talk to but you know you can’t? Not at the moment. 28. Do you make jokes to cope with your problems? Yeah.  29. Have you ever had someone call you their best friend but you didn’t even consider them a close friend? Yes.  30. Have you ever dealt with a pathological liar? No, I don’t think so. 31. Long or short surveys? Long. 32. If ur in school , are you doing it on zoom or in class? I’m glad I’m done with school and don’t have to do the zoom thing.  33. Would you ever have a pet rat? Noooooo. 34. Favourite memory with your best friend? I have countless favorite memories. 35. Favourite type of content to watch on YouTube? ASMR, vloggers, lifestyle. 36. Are you allergic to anything serious? Nothing serious, no. I am allergic to tangerines, but it’s not life threatening. 37. Dream job? I don’t have one. :/

38. Do you think dreams mean anything? Sometimes. 39. Fav clothing brand? Is Hot Topic and Boxlunch a brand cause I get majority of my graphic tees from them. Oh, I also love Adidas. 40. Do you miss anyone? My loved ones who have passed away.

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. List 5 things you want to do before the year ends. I’d love to just be able to go to the beach and relax, but that won’t happen. That was the only place I could feel relaxed. Beaches have reopened, but the hours are limited and you can’t just sit/lay there like you used to be able to. You can only walk around. And anyway, the fact we’re still very much in the thick of this whole thing I don’t feel safe or comfortable going places yet or being around people. I wouldn’t feel relaxed at all. 

2. What color are your pants? I’m wearing black leggings.

3. Favorite motivational quote. Meh.

4. When was the last time you drank coffee? I’m drinking a Starbucks Doubleshot energy drink, which as the can says is a “energy coffee beverage.”

5. What was the last thing you ate?   Ramen.

6. Favorite animal. Giraffes! <<< Aww, saaaame. And doggos. (:

7. Favorite song. I couldn’t just choose one favorite.

8. Last movie you watched? I’m completely blanking at the moment in regards to the last movie, but I’ve binged a lot of a couple shows on Netflix recently. 

9. Any turn ons? Nice smelling cologne. 

10. Any turn offs? Cockiness and arrogance.

11. List 4 big words off of the top of your head. Claustrophobia, arachnophobia, agoraphobia, tryphophobia.  

12. What are some meaningful movies?   Hmm.

13. 2 most important people in your life right now? God and my family. Yep, I’m grouping my family cause I couldn’t just choose 2.

14. What are 3 things you want to do before the month ends? Let’s be real- I won’t be doing anything.

15. When was the last time you read a good book? I’m almost done with one called, “Never Walk Alone” by Willow Rose.

16. How long do you study for usually, if you study? I spend about 20 minutes to an hour when doing my Bible studies. 

17. Do you have any nicknames? Just Steph and Sis.

18. Favorite kind of perfume? (fruity, alluring, etc.) I like certain fruity and sweet ones, ones with patchouli, and beachy and autumnal scents from B&BW.

19. Do you have any international friends / friends who live out of state? Those of us in this survey community live all over. 

20. What is something unique that you do every single day? Probably that I have a bowl of ramen of every night.

21. If there was a movie based on your life, what would it be called? A series of unfortunate events <– Pretty damn accurate. Lmao. <<< Lol, I’ve made that joke before, too. I also find it quite fitting for my life.

22. When was the last time you bought a gift for someone? Last month.

23. Are you a shopaholic? I was. My online shopping got out of hand the last few years, too. However, I’ve actually been pretty good this year so far. 

24. What are some songs that always make you feel better? Upbeat and catchy songs help in the moment. Sad, emo, relatable songs can help as well, though. Sometimes just shouting along to “I’m Not Okay” saying, “I’M NOT OKAY, I’M NOT O-FUCKING-KAY!” or something can feel good. ha. Need some good angst.

25. List 3 activities that you can only enjoy by yourself. Surveys, reading, and listening to ASMR.

26. If you could live in any biome (and survive) which biome would you live in? I don’t think I’d last long in any biome.

27. How do you like being roused in the morning? Uh, I don’t.

28. How was your day? What did you do? It’s only about 330 in the morning, but so far it’s been fine. I’ve had my bowl of ramen, scrolled some through Tumblr, watched YouTube videos, and now I’m doing surveys and listening to ASMR.

29. What did your last text message say? I sent my brother a TikTok video that reminded me of our doggo.

30. Do you respond to texts quickly? It depends.

31. Who was the last person you called? My mom.

32. List 5 things that are on your wish list. I don’t knowwww.

33. If you were famous, what do you think you would be famous for? I wouldn’t be famous. I’m not that special or talented. <<< Same. I don’t want to be famous anyway.

34. Winter or summer? Winter, HANDS DOWN.

35. What is a quality that all people should have? Empathy would be great.

36. If you could have a large collection of one item, what would that item be? I already have a large collection of giraffe stuffed animals, books, key chains, and graphic tees. I don’t have room for more.

37. What have you been thinking about lately? My mind is always a jumbled mess with a lot of stuff that is always on my mind from my health, family, and just life in general. But this year has and continues to give me a lot to think about as well.

38. What is the secret to a happy life? Ha, you’re asking the wrong person.

39. What are some phrases you say often? I know I have my many “Stephanieisms”, but I always seem to blank when asked this question.

40. Favorite food? Ramen, scrambled eggs with shredded cheese, spinach, and green onion, Wingstop garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings, spaghetti and meatballs, pasta salads, pesto pasta, deli sandwiches, and baked potatoes.

41. List 3 wishes. I feel like you’ve asked me this in different ways a few times now.

42. What are some of your greatest fears? Losing my loved ones, death, never getting better/getting worse, never doing anything with my life and just wasting away...stuff like that.

43. What is the last thing you downloaded onto your computer? Some stuff for the last Bible study I did.

44. Most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen (in real life)? Beautiful beaches and mountainous areas. I went on a gondola last year that took us up over 9,000ft and the views were breathtaking. 

45. Spicy food:Like or dislike? I used to be obSESSED with spicy food, but I haven’t been able to eat it for a few years now due to some health reasons. It sucks. :/

46. Scary movies:Like or dislike? I love ‘em. I used to be a big baby, but I did a complete switch a few years ago.

47. Do you like to travel? Yes.

48. Any regrets? I have a lot of those.

49. Do you like rain? I love the rain.

50. What do you spend most of your money on? It used to be food or clothes, but this year I haven’t been doing a lot of shopping. 

51. Would you rather visit the past or the future? Past.

52. Favorite clothing store? Hot Topic and BoxLunch.

53. What is the best advice you can give to those who are feeling down? I’m always feeling down, so I’m not the one to ask about that either.

54. How often do you think about your future? Does it scare you? The future terrifies me. My mind is more wrapped up in current and past stuff.

55. What angers you the most? Injustice and corruption.  

56. When was the last time you got majorly angry? In my personal life, it’s been awhile since I’ve been angry. I get irritated and frustrated very easily, though.

57. When was the last time you got really sad? Sadness is one of my personality traits.

58. Are you good at lying? I used to be when it came to lying and downplaying about myself like with how I’m doing and really feeling, but my emotions took control. I still downplay and leave things out, but it’s obvious I’m not doing well. 

59. What foreign language would you like to learn? I’d like to be fluent in Spanish. I’ve been wanting to brush up and start practicing again. 

60. How many languages can you speak and what are they? I’m only fluent in English, but I can speak some Spanish.

61. How often do you go to parties? If you don’t, what do you do instead? I stay at home.

62. What books do you plan to read this year? I’ve read several this year and I plan to read several more. 

63. Do you have breakfast every morning? Nope. Very rarely these days since I sleep until like 3PM everyday. Sometimes I’ll have breakfast foods for a late lunch or dinner, though.

64. Tell us a secret. Nah.

65. How many concerts have you been to? Seven.

66. Last hug? My doggo. I haven’t hugged a person in months.

67. Who knows you better than anyone else? You guys, probably. ha.

68. Baths or showers? Showers.

69. Do you think you’re ambitious? I haven’t been for a long time... 

70. What song is stuck in your head? None at the moment.

71. Countries you’ve visited? Mexico. Besides my own, of course.

72. What do you most value in your friends? Understanding and low maintenance. 73. What helps you to sleep better? Listening to/watching ASMR can help. 

74. What is the most money you have ever held in your hand? 1k.

75. What makes you nervous? A lot of things. 76. What is the best advice you’ve ever been given? Hmm.

77. Is it easier to forgive or forget? I always forgive but never forget. <<<

78. First mobile phone? A gray Motorola flip phone.

79. Strangest dream? I have a lot of those.

80. Best dream? Hmm. 

81. Who is the smartest person you know? My younger brother.

82. Who is the prettiest person on tumblr? All of you.

83. Do you miss anyone right now? Loved ones who have passed away.

84. Who do you love? Why? I love my family. They’re my everything.

85. Do you like sharing? Sharing what?

86. What was the last picture you took with your phone? Probably of my doggo.

87. Is there a reason behind everything that happens? I believe so.

88. Favorite genre of music? I like variety. 89. If you had one word to describe yourself, what would it be? Mess.

90. Describe your life in 5 words. Nahhh.

91. Describe the world in 4 words. Nahhh.

92. Craziest thing you’ve ever done? I’m boring.

93. First three songs in your favorite playlist? I’m not checking right now.

94. Are you more creative or logical? Logical. I wish I was creative.

95. Would you rather lie or hurt someone with the truth? I mean, it kind of depends. If it’s something serious and they need to know, then I’d have to tell them even though it would be hard and could hurt them. 

96. What are you most proud of? I don’t feel proud of myself for anything.

97. What personality trait do you admire in other people? Those who are driven.

98. When you imagine yourself as really, really relaxed and happy, what are you doing? I’m at the beach, just staring out into the ocean while listening to the waves crash in and out and feeling the cool ocean air on my face, breathing it in.

99. How do you usually start a conversation? I usually don’t, ha. But I suppose with a “hey” or something of the sort.

100. What is the best news you could hear right now? That it was all just a horrible dream. <<< Oh man. If only.