#this is the real blues mobile
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eltristanexplicitcontent · 4 months ago
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Drifting a car with a tank engine!
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motionjames · 1 year ago
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guide for new gundam fans
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malikselfindulgence · 1 year ago
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Makoto x Dabi lore time!!!
Their ship name is Makoya because i originally only shipped them in an au where Dabi never became a villain because Makoto found him after getting burned and saved him with his friendship and i've become so attached to it that i don't wanna change it
Makoto still saves Dabi in the now canon one!!!Long story short they ran into eachother straight after the Bakugou kidnapping arc and it just kept happening because of their circumstances so they slowly became best frenemies to lovers
This includes Makoto befriending the rest of the Lov-Either platonic chaos bros with Jin or Makojinya depending on my mood,Toga's big sister friend and Team Mom,Shigaraki's platonic Player 2 and Atsuhiro's pseudo niece/nephew!!
Dabi reveals to him what E slur did and his plan and wants him to join in because they're in love now(but haven't confessed)due to how Makoto's treated him better than anyone else in his life and how much understanding,fun,tears and strength they find in eachother and Makoto says he'll consider it,not wanting to set a bad example for Momo or abandon her being the only thing holding him back
Cut to Hawks trying to kill Jin and Makoto saving him as his final decision to become Burn.Him and Dabi are basically like Ghostflower in Atsv after that-Best friends but something else too,dating but don't dare to make it official because they're not strong enough to loose eachother,so devoted the lines blur.Makoto calls Dabi latino boyfriend terms and acts like a traditional japanese wife(the non-misogynistic points ofc)and Dabi amps up the princess treatment towards Makoto even more than before,calls him his 'Kokoro'(My Heart)and is violently protective partially because Hawks came close to killing Makoto like he did Jin
Momo helps out the Lov because of Makoto but there's definitely hurt and anger going on on her side from his betrayal and it's complicated with them for a bit but apologies are made,reassurances are given and reconnection is established.Momo's vigilante name is 'Destruct'!!
Eldest brother 2 Eldest daughter communication
Blue 4 Blue,doggirl 4 catboy and pastel femme tomboy 4 goth butch tomgirl.Their Lego Monkie Kid ship name would be Trueblueloveshipping💙💙💙
Dabi gets into kidcore,video games and baking thanks to Makoto and Makoto gets into horror,Shakespeare and bizzare food combos thanks to Dabi
Oh also black4brown!!!Rei is half bangaleshi <3333
Makoya-coded couples:Ghostflower(ofc),Ichihime,all Bubbline variants,Jack x Sally,Warren x Layla and Zuko/Ty Lee
THE DEVELOPMENT OF THIS IS SOOO FUCKING COOL AND THOUGHT-OUT I CAN SEE THEM IN MY HEAD I NEED TO READ THIS !!!! Also Makoto polycule is the realest shit ever <33 been thinking of giving Rose a villain au so .... Makoto and Shion and Rose + the league r found family realness 2 me .... Makojinya I literally love you SO much you should all get to shoot hawks in the face . Together . I tend to hc Dabi as being a system as well so did4bpd4did ..... my beloveds ever :33 !!!
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byanyan · 1 year ago
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grey's accidentally byan energy thoughts: "wait can u get high smelling nail polish"
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angeltism · 1 year ago
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ykw an entire love language is just. associating things to ONE being. only them! that concept? yeah that is Exactly One Being I Know. specific shade of that color? oh my god that's my buddy. a character? literally my bestie right there oh my goodness !! ^__^
#➳ the fool speaks#i just saw a fyo.dor pfp like smth on my edit account and i was like OH MY GAWDD !! [DISC FRIEND] !!!!!#the being also specifically liked my mu.u graphics and discord friend is also har.uka and f/os mu.u so it's so fitting too#and no disc friend does nawt have tumblr but like. if zhi did. that would have been it. pfp liked post and ALL#if i see a pic of minoai? that's two beings i know! that's their ship! it's real bc i know mino AND ai and they both f/o eachother! l#accidental l added to the tag and i can't edit tags on mobile oops#but mnai is nawt an l!!! will would kill me if i said that. mnai 🔛🔝 !!#and uu get the idea#and ok i only rlly gave examples for characters but this DOES also apply 2 colors and concepts prommy#also words#if uu show me a very specific shade of blue THAT'S SORA (disc friend mentioned above) !!!!!!! it is fucking BLOO. bloo-er than me.#actually no zhi is blue and red. nawt together but like. the concept of them both together.#hmmm nyeow that I'm thinking abt it only associations for zhir are coming up rn. is this bc they've been spamming my dms today.#smh I have nothing against the gays but y'all annoying god bless /ref /silly#ykw mentioning vaguely some tumblr mutual stuff too! iykyk ehe#pik.min in general#arc.ana twil.ight especially the pink bitch named breakfast (/ref) but also in general bc i know nobun else who knows it too#hrmmm... what else..... i know more than beings than sora will and the two awesome tumblr moots i just mentioned#oh! castle.vania#ok uhhhhhhhh damn it who else who i still talk 2 or interact with Literally At All fuck#all the things I'm thinking of are for beings whom I do nawt talk 2 anymore and all the beings I'm thinking of i cannawt think of one thing#specific for them#but y'all get the idea
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bulkheadbignaturals · 3 months ago
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GOODRA ART POST GOODRA ART POST EVERYBODY REJOICE AND CHEER
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The brainrot has spread so much i am now making my own Transformers AU
Here's my designs for the main Autobot cast! (for now...... Also i can't design cars for SHIT)
#I ACCIDENTALLY EXITED OUT FROM THE REBLOG EDIT THING ON MOBILE WITHOUT SAVING AND IT DELETED ALL THE TAGS I HAD PUT DOEN PREVIOUSLY#FUCK!!!! PAIN AND MISERY ON PLANET CYBERTRON#I remember what tags I put in originally tho so yay#LOVING the yellow optics you gave Optimus Prime; super nice change of pace from the usual sky blues we usually get!#I like yellow-y golden eyes/optics on characters in general they’re so pretties#Oppy also looks hella intimidating as well too great heavens#smoke stack shoulder guards… hehehe truck#also loving his teensy helmet finials too!! they’re so shapes /pos#ABSOLUTELY GOING BONKERS OVER ARCEE’S DIGITIGRADE LEGS I AM OVER THE MOOOON ABT THEM#digitigrade legs on robots… highest peak of robot character design one can go for imo I love when ppl draw bots with em#she looks like she could beat ur ass too and I’m all here for it; Arcee deserves to slay both in looks AND in combat. as a treat#and BUMBLEBEEEEEEEE my beloved bug scout minibot#absolutely loving how you leaned into a more bug-like design for Bee here he looks so kind his eyes are so soft… hes sweetheart awh :(#he gets his horns AND his lil feelers too and I am ALL here for it; best of both worlds let’s BEE honest here#I am so (not) sorry for that pun btw I had a chance and you better BEElieve I took it#I JUST NOTICED HIS TINY BEE STINGER TAIL AWH….. he’s so cute I need to squish him in my hands RAHHHHH#JAZZ!!!!!!!! THERES MY FAVORITE SHMOOVIN’ GROOVIN FUNKY FORMER#I ADORE the sound equalizer bar displays on his limbs btw they fit him so well he deserves to look swag#THE HORN EARS AND DOORWINGS AND VISOR TOO AW HELL YEAH#loving the lil goatee and headphones you gave Jazz too he looks like such a fun guy to hang out with#AND FINALLY…. LAST BUT NEVER LEAST……… RATCHETTTTTTTTT 🚑‼️‼️🗣️🚑🚑‼️🗣️‼️🚑‼️🗣️‼️🚑‼️🗣️‼️#you captured his grumpy ex-veteran field medic grandpa energy SO WELL GOODRA I love himmmmmm#his clouded optic and his facial scars and chipped helmet chevron… oh honey who did this to you#THE AMBULANCE HOOD TUMMY. OHHHHH MY GODDDDDDDD /VPOS#LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE DRAW RATCHET WITH A BEER BELLY IT FITS HIM SO WELL MAN I am 100% for fat Ratchet with a beer belly#get that old ambulance some MEAT on his OLD GOD DANG BONES AND JOINTS ya hear me!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pos#ohhhhh Goodra my dear old friend I am so deeply and completely in love with ur TF designs here ough /gen#ABSOLUTE 100/10 DESIGNS HERE IM OVER THE MOON ABT THEM ALL ITS HARD TO PICK A SINGLE FAVORITE#man I love Transformers so much I wish cars were real
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Blue Ridge Parkway. These mountains are truly blue! Optical illusion or nature diversity! I think it’s both!
(North Carolina)
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sleepyhoon · 3 months ago
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THREE WEEKS & THREE DAYS - P.SH
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pairing. best friend's ex!sunghoon x reader
genre. best friend's ex au, halloween au, smut, angst (if you squint).
word count. 12.2k+
warnings. alcohol consumption, drug usage, partying, driving under the influence, toxic relationships, themes of divorce, brief mention of physical abuse, smut [car sex, use of handcuffs, oral, praise kink/dirty talk, creampie]
summary. a stressful night at a Halloween party has you seeking comfort from the last person you should be involved with — your best friend's ex.
a/n. HIGHLY HIGHLY inspired by season 2 episode 1 of euphoria! this is a work of pure fiction and is NOT a reflection of how i view the members. despite writing this story, i DO NOT condone the dangerous choices the characters in this fic make and DO NOT encourage others to do so! read at your own discretion.  also, very special thanks to @zreamy for beta-reading this for me!!
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When you were six, you spent Halloween night lying on a hospital bed dressed as Hannah Montana.
Everything happened so fast; one moment, you were trick-or-treating with your father and younger sister while scarfing down a Snickers bar for the first time (a king-sized one at that), and the next, your dad was rushing you to the hospital in a panic, tears in his eyes as he encouraged you to stay awake in the backseat.
By the time you’d arrived at the hospital, your body had gone completely limp, and your father struggled to carry both you and your younger sister into the hospital lobby. From what you can remember, it was like a scene from a movie: seeing your dad cry for the first time, being wheeled into an unfamiliar bright room on a mobile bed, all while dressed as your favorite popstar.
The scariest part of the night was shortly after arriving at the hospital and catching a glimpse of your reflection, not recognizing the person staring back at you. The blonde wig and blue eye contacts were to be expected, but the swollen face and half-lidded eyes were another. Had you been able to breathe (let alone talk), you likely would’ve given your sister a classic Halloween jumpscare.
Your mother had arrived only a few minutes after you did, yelling at your father loud enough to have the hospital staff threaten to kick her out. “You forgot she was allergic to peanuts?! Where was her fucking EpiPen?!”
Your dad sighed, running a hand across his face, “I forgot to pick it up. I’ve been busy with…you know.”
She scoffs, “You don’t think I’ve been busy too?! Especially now that we have to meet with the divorce lawyer once a week?!”
Your ears perk up at that, “Divorce?”
You hadn’t known much about the true meaning of divorce, except that it’s something your friend’s parents had gone through, and now he gets two of everything. Two birthdays, two Christmases, two lives. So simple yet so perfect, what child wouldn’t dream of that?
Your parents, who hadn’t even known you were awake, silence themselves immediately. Tears quickly form in your mother’s eyes as she realizes they’d been caught, trying their best to keep the news of their divorce as quiet as possible, waiting for the right moment to explain to you and your sister, Yuna, the real meaning of it, and how different your lives would be.
It dawns on them that there’s no point trying to keep this secret any longer. You were a smart kid, it was probably only a matter of time before you found out on your own, anyway. 
All in one night, you managed to survive a near-death experience, only to be followed by the news of your parents’ divorce. And somehow, at twenty-three years old, watching Lee Heeseung flirt with random girls at a Halloween party is much worse than everything you experienced that cursed night in 2007.
“Can you at least pretend that you’re having a good time?!” You can barely hear Minjeong over how loud the music is, her words fading in and out as you take a sip from your cup.
“I am having a good time, isn’t it obvious?” you reply, showing Minjeong your best fake smile.
Grinning, Minjeong shakes her head at you. “Not at all. Here, need a refill?”
Without waiting for your response, Minjeong hops off the kitchen counter and snatches the red solo cup in your hand. You don’t bother protesting, sighing as you rest your weight against the marble countertop, while she adds a mix of different ingredients to your cup.
When she’s not looking, you tilt your head in the direction of the living room, hoping to get a glance at Heeseung through the sea of drunken college students.
The only word that can be used to describe your relationship with Heeseung is ‘unfortunate’. You were together for six months, and spent most of the time fighting, making up, and having sex. It was a relentless, tiresome cycle you allowed yourself to succumb to just for the sake of not having to be alone.
Most of the arguments would start with you questioning Heeseung’s loyalty, growing suspicious upon seeing his username pop up in the likes section of random girls on social media. In hindsight, it seems like a silly thing to get upset over. The entire purpose of social media was to connect and interact with others anyway, but, why was it always girls? And why would these girls suddenly start watching your stories?
Breaking up with him was harder than you could’ve imagined, and you’re sure you wouldn’t have been able to do it without Minjeong by your side, encouraging you through the entire process. 
The aftermath was embarrassingly excruciating. For two weeks, you locked yourself in your bedroom and fell into a cycle of sleeping and crying, occasionally taking breaks to eat or use the restroom. At one point, your phone spent a full forty-eight hours without being turned on at all, causing your loved ones to panic upon not being able to get ahold of you.
Slowly but surely you managed to build yourself back up, finally starting to feel like your old self when Heeseung suggested the two of you get back together.
You were hesitant, of course, telling Heeseung you were willing to work things out if he can prove to you he’s changed and ready to be the loyal, doting boyfriend he should’ve been from the start.
So no, you’re not together. But you’re also not not together. It’s confusing.
A football player is blocking your view of Heeseung (dressed as a cowboy), you have to stand on your tip-toes to catch a glimpse of him talking to — wait, who is that?
“Patrick would not stand for this.” Minjeong interrupts your thoughts, poking fun at your costume choice of a female Patrick Bateman.
You shrug, pretending to act clueless. “I wasn’t doing anything.”
Minjeong rolls her eyes, shoving your cup back into your hand “Sure, you weren’t. Come on, cheers with me.”
“To what?” you ask, suspiciously eyeing the drink she’s just handed you. Minjeong isn’t that great of a cook, so you can imagine she’s not the best bartender either. In fact, it’d be best if she stayed far away from any sort of kitchen appliance.
She thinks for a moment then excitedly extends her cup out to you. “To getting over our shitty ex-boyfriends!”
Minjeong’s ex was Park Sunghoon, they dated on and off for a year and a half before calling it quits over the summer. You don’t remember the exact reason why they broke up, there were many different factors. It didn’t matter, they were bad for each other anyway and the relationship was entirely too toxic for either of their wellbeing. 
You don’t know much about Sunghoon aside from the things Minjeong felt comfortable enough to share with you and the fact that he is on the university’s hockey team with Heeseung. You’ve probably had a handful of conversations and interactions with Sunghoon in the entire time of knowing him, and are more than happy with things staying that way.
Holding your cup up high, you match Minjeong’s smile and tap your cup against hers. “To getting over our ex-boyfriends!”
The drink is disgusting. You quickly turn away so you don’t hurt your best friend’s feelings by gagging at the taste. She manages to down her entire cup while you make quick work of pouring a majority of yours down the sink behind you.
Minjeong stares down at her empty cup with wide eyes, licking the remains off her plump lips. “Holy shit, that was so good. Do you want more? I’m gonna make myself another cup.”
“I’m good for now, thanks,” you say, snatching your cup away when she reaches for it. Minjeong raises a brow at you, and you follow up with, “I should wait before having another drink.”
She nods understandingly, and you give yourself a mental pat on the back for coming up with that so quickly.
While she’s occupied with making another drink, your eyes trail back over towards Heeseung. The football player from earlier is gone, and now that your view is no longer obstructed, you watch in confusion as Heeseung now has this mystery girl by the waist, leaning his head down close to her lips as she whispers something in his ear.
This really is worse than Halloween 2007.
“Hey.” You tap Minjeong’s shoulder. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
She follows your line of sight, scowling when it lands on Heeseung. “YN, don’t make a big deal out of this. You guys technically aren’t even together.”
“Relax, I’m just going to say hi.” You assure her, moving to head towards Heeseung when Minjeong stops you with a hand on your chest. “Think about this, please.”
You sigh, using your free hand to clutch hers and slowly bring it down from your chest. “I’ll be fine. Be back soon so we can dance, okay?”
Minjeong knows she won’t be able to stop you once your mind is made up, all she can do is sigh and wish you the best as you make a beeline for your ex. Maybe not the greatest idea on your part, but you’re too tipsy to think rationally.
Heeseung doesn’t notice you when you first approach, it takes the mystery girl awkwardly gesturing in your direction for him to finally look over at you, immediately dropping his hand from the girl’s waist. “YN!” He shouts, a little too excitedly, nervously scratching the back of his neck.
A few minutes later, you find yourself in an unfamiliar bedroom with Heeseung on step one of your toxic cycle — arguing.
“You’re overreacting,” Heeseung claims. “We were just talking.”
“About what, Heeseung? Why did you have to hold her by the fucking waist to talk to her?”
“Because! She was drunk! I was holding her up so she wouldn’t fall and hurt herself!”
“Who gives a shit if she falls? She’s not your fucking girlfriend.”
“Yeah, well, neither are you.” 
His words shouldn’t hurt as much as they do because he’s right; despite trying to work on things, you aren’t his girlfriend. You were the one who said you weren’t ready to get back together, not him. You shouldn’t be upset with him for talking to other girls.
And yet, here you are with tears in your eyes. 
You nod silently, avoiding his gaze as a lump forms in your throat. 
Heeseung must realize how much his words have affected you if the way he curses at himself, and shamefully runs a hand across his face is anything to go by. “Listen, I’m sor-”
“Don’t bother.” You stand from the bed, holding back a sob.“Everything about this was a mistake. You’ll never change.”
Heeseung reaches a hand out to grab your arm as you push past him. “YN, I didn’t mean it.”
“Yeah, Heeseung, you did mean it,” you say, pulling the bedroom door open.
There is no point in trying to reason with Heeseung. You know in a matter of time he’ll apologize, you’ll accept it like you always do, have make-up sex, then lecture him about how important it is that he changes before you can consider getting back together. Another endless cycle you’ve fallen into.
Stepping back into the party, you head in the opposite direction of where Minjeong would be, not wanting to run into her in your current state and bump right into someone dressed as Spiderman, causing the little remains of your drink to spill over and knock to the ground. You’re grateful that a crucial part of Patrick Bateman’s costume involved a plastic raincoat, or else your outfit would have suffered a dark blue stain.
“Oh my God, YN! I’m so sorry!” Spider-Man apologizes with a thick Australian accent.
“Jake?” You question, gesturing for him to take the mask off.
He follows your command, face bright red from embarrassment or alcohol. Probably both.
“Yeah, haha, hey. Really sorry about that, I can get you a new drink.” Jake turns in the direction of the kitchen before you stop him, placing a hand on his shoulder.
“It’s fine, Jake. Do you know where the bathroom is?”
Jake thinks for a moment, scratching at the small amount of stubble that’s graced his chin. He really does make a perfect Spider-Man, and if you weren’t so upset, you probably would’ve stayed and told him that.
“Upstairs, all the way down the hall. Wait! It’s occupied, people are doing coke in there, I think.”
Great.
You sigh. “Do you know if there’s another one I can use?”
“I’m pretty sure there’s one.” Jake turns, pointing to a door at the end of the hallway. “Right there. I saw a few people come in and out.”
Thanking Jake, you follow his direction and head to the door at the end of the hallway.
It’s a garage, not a bathroom. But, as long as you get a moment alone, you don’t really care where you are.
After shutting the door behind you, you sit on top of a washing machine and flinch at the cold metal sending chills down your thighs.
You shouldn’t have come out tonight, you don’t even care about Halloween to begin with. It’s an overrated holiday, you wish you would’ve convinced Minjeong to stay in with you and have a classic horror movie marathon while eating takeout and pausing to hand out (peanut-free) candy to trick-or-treaters.
Though, you’re sure you still would’ve spent the better half of the night obsessively tapping through Heeseung’s Instagram stories or trying to spot him in the background of someone else’s. It was a lose-lose situation no matter what, and you find yourself wondering if there’s an end to this unhealthy cycle.
Despite being so young when it happened, you’re sure your parents’ divorce obstructed your view of love and how a healthy adult relationship should work. Your father went on to have short-lived relationships with younger women who were using him for his money, while your mother remained single and chose to criticize her ex-husband’s current lifestyle choices. They couldn’t even co-parent in peace, always making petty comments to the other during drop-offs and pick-ups, finding any and every little thing to start arguing about.
One time in particular, after spending the weekend at your father’s house, your mother slapped him in a Dairy Queen parking lot upon realizing his new girlfriend had taken you and your sister to get your ears pierced. You didn’t actually see the slap happen, but it was loud enough to echo through the empty parking lot and hard enough to leave a red mark on his face.
The memory has tears forming in your eyes for the umpteenth time tonight, but before any of them have the chance to trickle down, the garage door swings open.
You turn, and Park Sunghoon (dressed as a police officer) is staring back at you with a confused look on his face. He opens and closes his mouth a few times before pointing in the direction of the party. “Uh, Jake said this was the bathroom.”
Shaking your head, you offer him a small smile. “No, the bathroom’s upstairs but it’s being used. If you really have to go, I’m pretty sure that door leads to the backyard.” You nod your head in the direction of the other door, and Sunghoon picks up on what you’re implying.
He thanks you before jogging over to the exit, setting his cup down on a metal dog crate before turning the knob and pushing open the door.
Sunghoon stands far enough out of frame that you only see a portion of his backside, and once the sound of him pissing on the grass hits your ears, you wonder why he didn’t bother to close the door in the first place.
Men.
He clears his throat awkwardly, “So, you s–”
You cut him off. “Let’s just wait until you’re done, please.”
Sunghoon nods, mumbling, “Right, right.”
He finishes up a few seconds later, zipping his pants back up and properly adjusting himself before returning to the garage, closing the door behind him and picking his drink back up in the process. “So, I’m guessing you’re…upset because of Heeseung?”
You let out a sad chuckle that sounds more like a sob. “Lucky guess. He’s just so fucking confusing, I can’t take it.”
“You’ll be alright,” Sunghoon responds, slipping his phone from his pants pocket and unlocking it. “Heeseung’s a douchebag.”
This catches you off guard, and you’re laughing before you even realize it. “Isn’t he your friend?”
Sunghoon shakes his head, narrowing his eyes at his phone as he scrolls. “Not really. We don’t talk much if it isn’t related to hockey or school.”
A beat of silence passes, then you ask, “When Heeseung and I were together, did he mention anything about cheating on me? Or talking to other girls?”
Sunghoon glances up at you for a split second, taking in how sad and hopeful you look before returning his gaze to the weather app he’d been using to distract himself.
He wasn’t sure if Heeseung went as far as physically cheating on you, but he was definitely talking to other girls behind your back; proudly showing the hockey team countless nudes and vulgar photos they would send him, some of them coming from your own friends. 
Sunghoon can’t tell you this, you’re upset enough as it is.
“I wouldn’t know, I always tuned him out whenever he talked.”
Though he’s not sure what answer you were hoping for, Sunghoon can tell you’re a little disappointed by his response. Truthfully, he didn’t feel like getting involved in anyone else’s drama. If you wanted clarity from Heeseung, you should’ve gone straight to the source.
“Sorry,” you apologize, feeling slightly embarrassed that you probably made things awkward, “have you seen Minjeong?”
Your attempt to change the subject seems to work, because Sunghoon scoffs loudly at your question and shoves his phone back in his pocket. “Have I seen the girl that just spent ten minutes yelling at me? Yeah, we may have crossed paths.” He says sarcastically, shaking his head before taking a sip of his drink.
“Yell at you? For what?”
“She fuckin’…I guess before we broke up she said I should dress up as a cop for Halloween and I must’ve said no, and now she’s saying I only dressed up like this,” he gestures towards himself, “to spite her. Fuckin’ insanity.”
“Well, did you?” You can’t help but ask, Minjeong would always go on for hours about how spiteful of a person Sunghoon was.
He shrugs, mindlessly tracing the rim of the red solo cup with his pointer finger, “Maybe, but this is all that was left in my size at the party store.”
You’re surprised Sunghoon makes you laugh as much as he does, and maybe that’s a bad thing since it’s making you enjoy talking to him. Though he technically isn’t your enemy, he’s definitely not a person you should enjoy having a conversation with. It’s not appropriate, he’s the ex boyfriend of your best friend; all your ties to him were cut the moment Minjeong broke up with him.
You should tell him to leave, that you’re really upset over Heeseung and prefer to be alone, but you don’t. Instead, you keep the conversation going, laughing every joke he makes and completely forgetting why you were upset to begin with.
Halfway through telling Sunghoon about the horrid drink Minjeong had prepared for you, your legs grow numb from having been sat on for so long. You untuck them from underneath your body, not thinking much of it as you continue on with the story, legs dangling against the cold washing machine.
Sunghoon takes notice, though, his eyes quickly darting down to the space between your legs and the white fabric that’s suddenly visible to him due to the short length of your skirt. You miss it the first time he does it, but the second and third time are hard to ignore, especially now that he doesn’t seem to mind being caught.
You really should cross your legs or call him out on his staring. Or maybe even get up and leave entirely.
To no one’s surprise you don’t do either of those things and opt to keep your panties visible enough for Sunghoon to see while you continue to talk his ear off about his ex-girlfriend. There’s something unspoken happening between the two of you, and it’s exciting yet confusing since this is the longest conversation you’ve had with him in the two years you’ve known each other. 
The strangest part of it all is that you’re just now realizing how attractive Sunghoon is, Sure, he’d always been a good looking guy, but you’d always seen him as Minjeong’s property and never paid much attention to his face out of respect for her.
But Minjeong no longer has a claim on him, and now you really notice the perfectly placed moles that graced the side of his nose and under his eye. He really was a sight to behold, you often find yourself stumbling over your words as you speak to him, becoming flustered over the intensity of the eye contact he’d been making with you.
“…my throat is still burning and it’s been, like, twenty minutes.” You say with a laugh, watching as Sunghoon finishes off his own drink.
He sets the empty cup down, licking the remaining alcohol on his lips before smacking them, “Yeah, I wouldn’t trust her in a kitchen. I’m not that good either, though. There was this one time I had to make brownies for our hockey team’s bake sale and they turned out awful. It’s like, half of them were watery and the other half were burnt. So weird.”
“That doesn’t even sound possible.”
“I’m serious! Hold on, I probably have a picture.” 
It takes Sunghoon approximately forty-five seconds of scrolling through his Snapchat memories to find a photo of those godforsaken brownies, and sure enough, they really are a watery, burnt mess. Not that you can even focus on the picture to begin with now that he’s sitting next to you on the washing machine, and you’re finally able to see him up close.
Sunghoon’s words go in one ear and out the other, because now you’re close enough to smell the cologne he’s dabbed on the back of his neck, and notice the metal handcuffs hooked in his belt loop, and it makes it hard to focus on anything else. Especially his uninteresting story about those stupid fucking brownies.
When Sunghoon locks his phone, you take it as a sign that he’s finished with his story and let out another laugh, “Not sure what I was expecting, but it wasn’t that.”
“I’m a man of many talents,” he jokes, slightly slurring his words. 
Maybe it’s the fact that his voice sounds deeper than usual, or that he’s staring right at you with half lidded eyes, or that he's started playing with the handcuffs on his waist, but Sunghoon looks dangerously attractive right now. 
You gulp, looking down at your lap, “Well, at least one of us had a nice drink.”
Sunghoon nods, running his fingernails along your plastic raincoat, “Wanna taste mine?” He asks, eyes darting down to your lips for a split second.
If there was ever a time to get up and leave, it should’ve been now. The rational part of your brain is telling you to push Sunghoon away and return to the party and forget this encounter with him ever happened. But you can’t move, and if you’re being honest, you don’t even want to.
You’re stuck in place, heart beating out of your chest as Sunghoon leans in closer to you. You feel dizzy in the best way possible, and a part of you feels sick for enjoying the moment as much as you do. 
His breath fans your cheek, and the faint scent of alcohol on it should’ve been enough to remind you that you shouldn’t be in this situation with him. Still, you don’t move.
Right before Sunghoon has the chance to kiss you, the door swings open and you jolt away from each other out of shock, clutching your chest as you watch Jake jog into the garage.
“You guys seen my vape?” he asks, a little out of breath.
“I…no, Jake. Why would it be in the garage?” Sunghoon asks, hopping down from the washing machine. He offers a hand to help you down and you ignore it, finally starting to come back to your senses.
“Dude, I don’t fucking know! It was just in my pocket and now it’s gone, it could be anywhere. Help me look!”
Spending your night in a garage helping Jake look for a strawberry-flavored vape doesn’t sound ideal in the slightest; now is the perfect time to leave.
Heading in the direction of the party, you pause when Sunghoon calls out your name, a slight shakiness to his voice. “Keep an eye out for me, yeah?”
Another beat of silence passes, then you nod and say, “Yeah.”
In your defense, there’s nothing to feel guilty over. All you did was have a conversation with Sunghoon, and keeping an eye out for him doesn’t necessarily mean anything else will happen, right?
You try not to think too much about it as you exit the garage, holding in a laugh when Sunghoon says something along the lines of, “You’re a grown ass man, Jake.”
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What Minjeong lacks in cooking, she makes up for in dancing.
While you wouldn’t consider yourself to be on her level of dancing, you’d say you’re good enough to keep up with her at a crowded party. If swaying to the music, holding hands, and grinding on each other counts as dancing, that is.
“You’re too stiff; loosen up, babe,” she comments, fingers interlocked with yours.
“Sorry,” you reply, slightly frustrated since you don’t feel like dancing in the first place. “What were you saying?”
“Oh, yeah!” Minjeong turns to face you, moving your arms to drape them around her shoulders. “Then he said I was being crazy, and that he only got the costume because it was all that was left in his size, as if I believe that.”
“Sorry that happened,” you say, and it comes out more sarcastic than you had intended it to. 
Minjeong takes notice of this, raising a brow at you before slipping her arms under your raincoat and pulling you closer to her. “You okay?”
The two of you are pressed so close up against each other that it almost feels romantic, and you’re sure if there was another drink in your system you’d probably lean in and kiss her. 
You nod. “Just thinking about Heeseung.”
Fake offended, Minjeong’s jaw drops. “You’re dancing with the hottest girl at this party, and all you can think about is your ex? I’m hurt, YN.”
Truth be told, her ex was the one you were thinking about, certainly not your own.
Not a whole lot of time has passed since you left Sunghoon in the garage, but you make sure to keep your promise of keeping an eye out for him upon returning to the party. You’re certain that on the outside you probably look panicked and frantic, eyes darting all over the place for any sign of Sunghoon.
“Well,” Minjeong starts, tugging on your tie. “Since you’re thinking about your ex, it’s only fair that I think of mine; and there he is.”
You stop yourself from excitedly shouting, “Where?!” and watch as Minjeong subtly nods towards the staircase.
Sure enough, Sunghoon is leaning against the banister, eyes zeroing in on you with his hands shoved in his pockets.
“He’s been watching me for, like, ten minutes. Probably wants to see if you and I will make out, fucking pervert,” she says, rolling her eyes.
Minjeong has it wrong, Sunghoon has been watching you for the past ten minutes. Ever since he finished helping Jake find that stupid vape, he’s had his sights set on you and you only.
That other part was probably true, though.
You swallow the lump in your throat and say, “Such a pervert.” It comes out a tad more robotic than you were going for, but you tried your best. 
Once Sunghoon is sure that Minjeong is distracted, he mouths, “Bathroom,” before immediately turning around and jogging up the steps.
Fuck, are you really about to do this? 
Your eyes dart from Minjeong to the staircase, and you can’t believe you’re even considering going upstairs to meet her ex. Everything about this predicament is sick and twisted and perfectly on brand for Halloween. 
But, somehow, it’s not sick enough to stop you.
“Hey, I think I’m gonna get some air; I’m feeling kinda dizzy,” you lie, hoping it’s believable enough.
Minjeong stops dancing immediately, a look of genuine concern on her face. “Here, I’ll come with you.”
“No, no. You keep having fun, I’ll be back soon. Make another drink for me, okay? I’m sure I’ll need it,” you assure her with a smile, taking her hands into yours.
“Fine, I’ll be here. But the only drink I’m making for you is a Ginger Ale.”
Thank God.
After giving Minjeong a kiss on the cheek (feeling guilty as ever), you slip past her and head towards the direction of the backyard. Once Minjeong is fully out of sight, you switch paths and sprint up the staircase, bumping into and angering a few people along the way. 
You keep your head down once you reach the second floor, speed walking to the end of the hallway and avoiding eye contact with everyone you walk by until you reach the bathroom.
The door is closed and locked, of course, and that’s when it dawns on you that this could be one big, elaborate prank from Sunghoon. You could open the door and be met with a camera in your face with Sunghoon recording, laughing maniacally before mentioning something about telling Minjeong everything and that he stayed loyal to her the entire time.
Unfortunately for you, even that possibility doesn’t scare you away from knocking on the door and saying, “It’s me, YN.”
The knob twists before the door is pushed open, barely enough room to slide in discreetly, but you manage anyway.
Using your body weight to press the door shut, Sunghoon reaches behind you to make sure it’s locked. “You really came.”
You hate that he sounds shocked, as if he had some faith that you wouldn’t risk your friendship with Minjeong for a few minutes with him, of all people. He’s not even your type.
“Don’t make a big deal out of this.”
Sunghoon scoffs as if you’ve said the most obvious thing in the world. “Trust me, I won’t.”
You don’t have time to overthink the meaning of his words because before you can even realize it, Sunghoon is pushing you further up against the door, and he’s kissing you, finally kissing you.
This kiss is everything but soft, and it knocks the wind out of you. Sunghoon’s hand cups your jaw, tilting your head sideways to allow himself further into your mouth. It’s wet and sloppy, you’re certain that dancing with Minjeong was far more romantic than this. You kiss back anyway, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and grabbing a fistful of his hair, shivers running down your spine when he groans into your mouth. Without breaking the kiss, Sunghoon reaches down to slip the raincoat off of you, pressing your body closer against him to ease it off. 
He pulls away slowly, his blown-out eyes focused on the string of saliva that connects your mouths to one another. “Fuck,” he groans at the sight, moving his mouth to kiss along your jaw.
You let out a moan when you feel his tongue slide against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck, tilting your head back against the door. Sunghoon takes notice of this, focusing his attention on that same spot, sucking on it hard enough to leave a mark before teasingly scraping his canines along the area.
Quickly, your fingers move to unbutton your shirt, suddenly feeling warm all over. You’re only halfway done when there’s a sudden banging on the other side of the door, startling you enough to halt your movements.
“Ignore it,” Sunghoon mutters against your neck. “They’ll go away.”
They don’t go away, they actually start to bang louder and harder once a few seconds pass.
Sunghoon lets out a frustrated sigh, lifting his head away from you, “Occupied!”
“Sunghoon?” You hear Minjeong’s voice on the other side of the door, causing you and Sunghoon both to freeze.
“M-Minjeong?” He stutters.
“I have to piss,” Minjeong whines, messing with the doorknob. “Hurry up!”
Sunghoon must sense your panic and the fact that you feel like bursting into loud sobs, because he places his hand over your mouth before mouthing for you to stay quiet.
Minjeong doesn’t let up on trying to open the door, and you’re sure that with just enough force, she could probably get it open.
“I’m using it! Can’t you just go outside?”
“I’m a fucking girl, Sunghoon. Just hurry up and finish.”
“Just…just hold on a second, Minnie.”
Minnie? Fuck is that about?
Sunghoon pulls you away from the door, keeping his voice and movements as low as possible. “You’re gonna have to hide in the bathtub, just lay down flat and wait for her to leave.”
“What?! What if she sees me?!” You whisper, silently praying Minjeong can’t hear you over the music.
“She won’t, okay? I’ll pull the shower curtain back. It’s the only option we have right now unless you want to jump out the window.”
You shake your head. “There has to be a better idea.”
On the other side of the door, Minjeong begins to grow impatient, anxiously tapping her foot against the floor. She’s had three full drinks and is on the verge of busting the bathroom door down if Sunghoon doesn’t open it soon. She focuses her gaze downward, raising a brow at a piece of plastic that’s been slightly pushed under the crack of the door. What is it? A shower curtain? It can’t be, why would the shower curtain be on the floor? It looks more like…
“Fuck! The cops!” A drunk voice yells before the entire house panics, sirens and flashing blue and red lights fill the house.
Inside the bathroom, Sunghoon had still been trying to convince you to lay down in the bathtub when even more panic sets in.
Minjeong bangs on the door one last time. “Sunghoon, the cops are here, you need to leave! Fuck, I gotta find YN!” She yells before taking off down the hall.
Police officers are raiding the house, and all Minjeong can focus on is finding you and making sure you're okay, while you were seconds away from hooking up with her ex. What a fucking nightmare.
“We gotta jump out the window,” Sunghoon says, hurrying over to the other side of the bathroom and forcing the window open.
“What?! Why?!”
“People are doing fucking illegal drugs at this party, YN, and now the fucking cops are here. My dad works for the city and if-” He pauses to grunt, struggling to get the window all the way open. “-news spreads that his son was at a house party that was full of people doing fucking cocaine his career will be fucking over. Fuck!”
This doesn’t explain why you have to jump out of the window with him, but you narrow it down to the possibility of Sunghoon just wanting to be around you for a little longer. And as pathetic as it sounds, you find yourself smiling at the possibility.
Sunghoon finally gets the window fully open, quickly hiking one leg over. “It’s not that far of a jump, we’ll be fine. I’ll go first then let you know when to jump.”
“You’ll catch me?” you ask, buttoning your shirt back up. Now that the raincoat is gone, you probably resemble a perverted schoolgirl costume.
Sunghoon sighs. “Yes, YN, I am going to catch you. Just be ready to run, my car’s down the street.”
He doesn’t give you any time to protest before hiking his other leg out the window and jumping down; you watch in horror as he lands face down. If it weren’t for your current predicament, you’re sure you would’ve gotten the ick.
It takes Sunghoon a few seconds to get back up, brushing himself off before standing, “Come on! Hurry!”
Despite your hesitancy, you follow Sunghoon’s action and hike a leg out of the window, staring down at him. “Are you sure about this?!”
“If you want me to catch you, you better jump now!”
Halloween fucking sucks.
You swear to yourself as you hike your other leg out of the window, saying a quick prayer as you brace yourself to jump.
Sunghoon doesn’t exactly catch you, but he does brace your fall, which is good enough for you. 
He groans in pain from the impact as you stand and dust yourself off, reaching a hand down to help him up. “Sorry!”
Sunghoon stands, feeling a tad bit dizzy and lightheaded. “Just follow me.”
It isn’t too late to turn around and find Minjeong and just leave with her. In fact, it’d be the morally correct thing to do in this situation. Not that you seem to care for morals.
You make a mental note to send Minjeong a text later as you run after Sunghoon.
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Sunghoon is not that great of a driver, but this doesn't surprise you.
He's still somewhat tipsy, occasionally swerving along the empty back roads.
What makes it worse is that Minjeong has been calling and texting you nonstop, your phone practically burning a hole in your pocket as you ignore her relentless attempts.
Sunghoon is trying his hardest to stay focused on the road, but your phone ringing every few minutes was really starting to irritate him. "Just fucking answer her," he says, shaking his head.
"And say what? That I'm with you?"
Sunghoon isn't too pleased with your sarcasm and rolls his eyes, "Obviously not, YN; just do something to make her stop panicking."
That's way easier said than done, especially considering that you can barely even think about Minjeong without wanting to burst into tears. The guilt has already started to set in, and it has you questioning yourself and your morals.
You can't talk to Minjeong; it's too risky, but you can call your sister and ask her to cover for you.
Slipping your phone from your pocket, you force your eyes to unfocus and ignore the string of missed calls and messages from Minjeong, dialing your sister's phone number with trembling hands.
As always, Yuna answers on the fourth ring, sighing loudly into the phone before greeting you with a monotonous, "Hello?"
"Hey, um, I need you to help me with something," you keep your voice low, not wanting Sunghoon to hear your conversation despite being right next to him.
Yuna sighs again, "With what, YN?"
"The party I was at got raided by the cops, and we all ran, so if Minjeong calls you, I need you to tell her I'm with you," you say, your eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets when Sunghoon makes a sudden sharp turn.
"Sorry," he mutters under his breath, gripping the steering wheel tighter.
You hate that even now, you find him cute.
"Well, where are you?" Yuna asks, snapping you back to reality.
"I… it's not important, just please do me this favor."
Your sister scoffs, "You expect me to lie for you, and you can't even tell me the full story?"
"The full story isn't important, Yuna."
"Clearly, it is if you're asking me to lie to your best friend."
"Just tell her," Sunghoon groans, sounding slightly annoyed, "but make sure she doesn't tell anyone else."
Yuna doesn't have many friends, and the few she does have wouldn't even care about your drama, so it's not like she'd have anyone to share your business with. You hesitate anyway because of the principle of the situation, how just ten minutes ago you were unbuttoning your shirt for your best friend's ex. Maybe you're starting to come back to your senses because replaying the scene in your head has you cringing from embarrassment.
You lean your head against the window and squeeze your eyes shut, "I'm with Sunghoon."
The line goes silent for a few seconds, and you're worried you may have lost service from driving in such a rural area until Yuna sighs for a third time, "The pretty ones are never that bright."
"I swear it isn't like that," you plead, "just, please, help me out."
"And what will I get out of this?"
Of course, she wants something, classic younger sibling bullshit.
"Well, what do you want?"
"I don't know…a normal older sister?"
"Yuna, I don't have time for this, will you help me or not?"
Bickering with Yuna was starting to give you a headache; you were seconds away from hanging up and coming up with a new plan entirely.
"After tonight, don't involve me in this anymore; I have my own shit to deal with."
You hold back a laugh at that as if Yuna does anything other than stay home and talk to the same two people. "I won't, I swear. I'll text you when I'm close to being home; let me know if Minjeong reaches out to you."
"Whatever, just get home safe and don't do anything else stupid," Yuna says through a yawn before immediately hanging up, not giving you the chance to say goodbye.
As much as you loved your sister, the two of you weren't exactly close. The divide started sometime during high school; your interests and friend groups never really aligned and only led you to stray further away from each other.
You being fairly well-known within your high school didn't help much, either. Countless random students would approach Yuna on the daily, asking if you were seeing anyone, begging her for your number, or even giving her small gifts and treats to pass along to you. 
What annoyed her the most was that they never called her by her name, in their eyes, she was always known as "YN's sister", and nothing more than that.
You're sure Yuna doesn't hate you because of it, but it certainly didn't make her very fond of you.
"What'd she say?" Sunghoon asks, interrupting your thoughts.
"She agreed to cover for me tonight," you respond, gazing out the window, "pretty sure she's pissed, though."
"She'll get over it," Sunghoon taps the navigation system on his dashboard, "type in your address."
Despite making you jump out of a bathroom window, Sunghoon technically doesn't owe you anything. He never claimed he'd bring you back to his place to finish what you started; you quite literally only jumped because he told you to, under the pretense that maybe — just maybe — he'd want to hook up with you. 
Clearly, that wasn't happening, at least not tonight. Having to jump out the window and then proceed to drive while tipsy must've knocked some sense into him, making him realize he'd been making way too many questionable choices all in one night. 
You let out a disappointed sigh, hesitantly reaching out to type your home address into the car's GPS. The system buffers for a few seconds as it calculates the quickest route to your home before displaying an estimated travel time of thirty-eight minutes.
"Forty fucking minutes?!" Sunghoon shouts, causing you to jump. 
He sighs, cursing under his breath before reaching forward and ending the navigation route. You sit up further in the seat, ready to ask Sunghoon what he's plotting before he starts typing "7/11".
You raise a brow at this, "Why're we going there?"
Sunghoon gestures towards the navigation system as if the answer is obvious, "Your house is forty minutes away, and I'm still kinda tipsy; I'm gonna need to pull over and get something other than alcohol in my system if I'm gonna be driving for that long." There's a slight slur to his words that had you weary about him driving, so pulling over to recharge isn't a bad idea.
After a few minutes of awkward silence, Sunghoon managed to safely drive the two of you to the nearest 7/11, opting to pay seventeen dollars to park in a parking garage down the street instead of the shop's personal lot.
"This neighborhood isn't that safe; I don't want anyone breaking into my car," he claims, taking up two spots as he parks in the most secluded corner possible.
The neighborhood is fairly safe; he was just being dramatic.
The walk down the street is quick and slightly awkward, with you and Sunghoon stumbling every few steps yet refusing to hold onto the other for stability.
The two of you go your separate ways upon entering the shop, Sunghoon headed straight towards the snack aisle while you make your way to the slurpee machines. The difference in your priorities was humorous, with him wanting to focus on building up energy and you wanting nothing more than a quick sugar fix.
Blue raspberry isn't necessarily your go-to flavor, but it's the only flavor on the Slurpee machine that's currently working, so you fill your plastic cup to the brim before absentmindedly reaching for a straw.
Sunghoon is still prancing around the store by the time you've finished making your drink, and despite not being that hungry, you decide to kill time by strolling through the snack aisles.
The Snickers bars and Reese's Cups look tempting as always, but you refrain, sighing as you look over the selection of peanut-contaminated candy.
"Don't even bother," Sunghoon says from behind you, causing you to gasp in shock. 
He pauses for a moment, staring at the array of snacks before grabbing a pack of Skittles and walking off.
The thought of Sunghoon being aware of your peanut allergy is as comforting as it is strange. You can't imagine this is something Minjeong randomly decided to tell him, and even if that is the case, why would he bother retaining that information? It's not like the two of you are friends.
Whatever, you're probably thinking about it too much.
After deciding on a package of powdered mini donuts and Haribo gummy bears, you proceed to the checkout counter and set your items down, looking over your shoulder at Sunghoon, who was selecting the last of his items.
The man behind the counter smiles at you, typing his employee ID number into the cash register, "How's your night going?"
"Horrible," you say, making the clerk laugh even though you weren't joking.
"Sorry to hear that," he responds, scanning your items, "your total came out to…$6.12. Oh, hello, officer."
Despite not having done anything wrong, you nearly panic before remembering Sunghoon's unfortunate costume choice.
He nods at the man, setting his own items down on the counter, "Add these too. You guys take Apple Pay?" He asks, unlocking his phone.
"Oh, you don't have to pay for mine," you say, a nervous tremble in your voice.
Sunghoon shrugs, "No big deal."
Except it is a big deal. Sunghoon behaving like a boyfriend gentleman by paying for your items only made you like him even more, which is the exact opposite of what you need right now.
You sigh, taking a literal and metaphorical step back as Sunghoon taps his phone on the card reader. 
"A cop and a schoolgirl, huh? These couple's costumes are starting to make less and less sense," the employee comments, eyes darting between you and Sunghoon. 
"We're not a couple," Sunghoon responds, a little too quickly for your liking, but whatever.
The employee apologizes, embarrassed about his implications as he bags your items and wishes the two of you a safe trip home.
On the way back to Sunghoon's car, it dawns on you that Minjeong has stopped trying to get ahold of you, which is slightly worrisome considering that she's a person who wouldn't give up that easily. 
Sunghoon climbs into the backseat this time, mumbling something about needing to rest and stretch out before driving you home. He sets the bag down on the center console, grabbing a few of his items before propping himself up against the door.
You do the same, retrieving your own items from the bag before slumping into your seat. 
When you finally unlock your phone, a new voice memo from Yuna is waiting for you. Hesitantly, you hold your phone against your ear and hit play.
Yuna lets out a loud sigh, "So, you and Minjeong must have some sort of, like,  telepathic connection because she called me as soon as I hung up on you. Anyways, I told her our cousin was also at the party and was able to, uh, give you a ride home once the cops came. Oh, and I told her your phone died and that you'd call her, um,  later or in the morning. I'm not sure if she believed it, but she calmed down.
And, by the way, I meant it when I said I don't want to be involved in whatever this is after tonight. So, for everyone's sake, if something serious is going on, do not tell me about it. Get home safe."
You're not entirely sure if you deserve a sister like Yuna, who'd go against her own morals just to cover for you, but you're grateful you have her.
you [11:54 pm] : *you liked a voice memo*
you [11:54 pm] : thanks so much
you [11:55 pm] : i promise i wont involve u anymore. if minnie calls again u can just ignore it and lmk please
yuna [11:56 pm] : oh and she told me to let you know that she's safe. tho im sure that's not your biggest concern :/
Harsh but true.
You set your phone on your lap and tear open your pack of donuts, wiping away the powdered sugar that falls onto your blouse. Much like the blue raspberry slurpee, mini powdered donuts weren't exactly your go-to snack, but your options were limited, and you weren't in the mood to roam around the store any longer.
Suddenly, Sunghoon groans from the backseat and sits up, "Phone died."
Leaning over the center console, he plugs his phone into the car charger right underneath his navigation system, resting it on the dashboard before returning to his seat. 
The car falls silent, and as much as you want to start a conversation, you're not sure where to begin. There's so much you want to ask, but you refrain, biting down on your tongue so hard you're surprised the taste of blood doesn't fill your mouth.
Sunghoon leans forward again, this time resting his cheek on the side of your seat, "What'd you get?" he asks, staring down at your lap.
You turn your head to look at him, holding up the half-eaten pack of donuts for him to see.
"Can I have one?" he asks, already holding his hand out before you could even say yes.
You hand him one regardless, watching the powder fall from the pastry as he pops it into his mouth.
Your curiosity gets the best of you, and you find yourself narrowing your eyes at him as you ask, "Sunghoon, can I ask you something?"
He nods, gesturing towards the remaining donuts in a way that tells you he wants more. You hand him the remaining three, nodding back when he mumbles "Thanks" under his breath.
"How did you know that I'm allergic to peanuts?"
Sunghoon pauses, brows furrowing in utter confusion as he looks up at you, "What do you mean?"
"Earlier in the store, I was looking at the peanut candy, and you told me not to bother. I'm assuming you must've known I'm allergic, right?" You ask, fully turning around in your seat to face him.
"Um…yeah. I know."
"Okay…how?"
"I mean, was it supposed to be a secret or something?"
"What? No, of course not. Allergies are probably the one thing that shouldn't be kept secret," you respond, "I'm just curious about how you know. I don't think I've ever told you, and I can't imagine Minjeong randomly deciding to tell you."
Sunghoon awkwardly scratches the back of his neck as he avoids looking at you. It takes the tips of his ears turning pink for you to realize that he's embarrassed, which only confuses you even further.
Sunghoon shrugs, staring down at the snack you've just given him, "Whenever all of us would hang out, and there was, like, food involved, I just noticed you'd pay so much attention to the ingredients of whatever it was you were eating. At first, I thought it was a calorie thing, but you never really asked about the calories, only the ingredients."
"But, how'd you know it was peanuts specifically?" you ask, feeling embarrassed about how curious you were over something as silly as a peanut allergy.
"Remember the hockey team bake sale? The one I made those terrible brownies for?" He asks, continuing when you nod, "You were there, and I remember how excited you were to try the cookies that Jake made, but right before you bought one, you asked him if there were peanuts in them. That's when I knew."
You can't remember the last time someone had paid this much attention to you, and it's dangerous, considering how easily impressed you are by the smallest things. Sunghoon was by no means a friend of yours; you hardly knew anything about each other and often kept your interactions rather short, so his being able to pick up on your peanut allergy just by watching you was … different. Maybe even nice.
You don't even realize you've been staring at him until he stops chewing and stares back, unblinking.
You look away, retrieving your Slurpee from the cup holder and taking a long sip as Sunghoon watches.
"Can I ask you something now?" he asks.
You don't respond, side-eyeing him as you continue to sip your drink.
Sunghoon smirks, amused by your sudden silence, "Why'd you meet me in the bathroom?"
You pull the straw away from your lips, voice barely above a whisper as you respond, "To see what you wanted."
He nods, taking the cup from your hands, "You knew what I wanted," he says, pausing to take a sip of your drink, "and you still came; why?"
When you don't respond, Sunghoon lets out a loud sigh and sets your cup back down in its holder, "It's okay, YN."
"It isn't."
"Maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I guess we'll never know, huh?"
This is a test of your morals, and Sunghoon knows this. Every decision you've made tonight has led you to this exact moment. There's still enough time to redeem yourself and make an excuse for your actions. You could easily lie and say that making out with Sunghoon was just a result of being tipsy and vulnerable. But now, with the two of you in his car, sobering up and coming back down to your senses, you won't be able to use those same excuses.
Realistically speaking, what are the chances of your ex's finding out? Heeseung probably wouldn't care, but Minjeong was an entirely different story.
In your defense, they've been officially broken up for three weeks and three days, so you wouldn't technically be hooking up with her boyfriend. Right?
Sunghoon must've sensed the gears turning in your head because, after a few seconds of staring at each other in silence, he leaned over the center console and pressed his lips against yours.
The kiss is softer this time, nothing like how it was in the bathroom as if he's trying to coax you in and convince you it's okay, that you're doing nothing wrong.
You find yourself slipping under his spell, eyes finally fluttering shut as he gently swipes his tongue across your bottom lip. The faint taste of alcohol is still on his tongue, but he does taste much sweeter now, like the blue raspberry slurpee he'd just had. A part of you wonders if he'd done that on purpose as if tasting better would make you enjoy kissing him like this.
He pulls away, scooting farther back into his seat, "C'mere, climb over."
You do as you're told, slipping off your shoes with Sunghoon guiding you right onto his lap as you climb into the backseat. You can't help but squirm on his lap, and he can still sense a slight hesitancy in your actions, the way you shiver when he touches you, how you initially pulled back when he tried to kiss you again.
"You're nervous," he comments, eye flickering across your face.
You shrug, holding onto his shoulders for support, "I can't help it."
Beneath you, Sunghoon reaches down to unclip the handcuffs from his belt loop, "You're making it hard to focus."
"The fuck am I supposed to do, then?!" You didn't mean to shout, but your patience was starting to run thin. You felt guilty enough as it is, and Sunghoon reminding you of how nervous you are certainly didn't make it any better.
Sunghoon rolls his eyes, undoing the handcuffs before grabbing your left hand. He tightens the cuff around your wrist, "Just trust me," he says simply. He sits up further in his seat, grabbing your cuffed wrist as he pulls down on the car's grab handle. He slips the empty cuff through the slot before gesturing for you to give him your free hand.
Fuck.
"Sunghoon…"
"Just trust me," he doesn't wait for a response, grabbing your wrist and bringing it up towards the empty cuff. It locks around your wrist with a click, causing him to smile in satisfaction. 
You're sure that with just the right amount of force, you could easily snap the handcuffs in half, but it's the thought that counts. With your arms and hands restricted towards the ceiling, all you can do is stare down at Sunghooon and await his next movement, his very calculated movement.
He presses his cold lips against your neck, simultaneously using his hands to slowly unbutton your blouse. The mark he'd left on your neck earlier was as prominent as ever, and it pleased him to know you were okay with him marking you up like this. He swipes his tongue against the sensitive spot, hardening in his pants when you squirm on top of him. 
His nails trace along the bare skin of your waist once he's finished unbuttoning your blouse, your bralette — that was a few sizes too small — fully on display for him. He's practically salivating at the site, his tongue sliding across his canines, completely in awe of your breasts spilling out of the flimsy, white material.
Sunghoon can't unclasp and slide off your bra, or else it'd be awkwardly hanging in the air, and trying to slip it through the handcuffs would take too much effort. Instead, he apologizes under his breath before his hands reach the front of your bra.
"Wait, Sunghoon—!"
Without warning, he stretches the fabric until it finally rips, seemingly pleased with himself if the cocky smirk is anything to go by. "Relax," he says, "I'll buy you a new one."
You don't have time to scold him because before you can even process what's happening, Sunghoon's tongue is swirling around your nipple. You swear at the sudden contact, arching your back and pressing your chest further into his face. It's almost embarrassing how such a simple act already had your head spinning.
His hands trail downward until they reach the hem of your skirt, slowly pushing it upwards until it's bunched around your waist. He traces the tip of his finger across your clothes cunt, pleased with how wet you've already gotten without having done much.
Your hips buck up into his hands on instinct, desperate for the friction, borderline craving it.
Sunghoon releases your perked bud in his mouth, looking up at you as he asks, "You want me to stop?"
"No, please don't." You beg.
"So this is okay then, right?"
If your wrists weren't handcuffed to the grab handle, you're sure you would've reached down and choked him for all the teasing. "Yes, Sunghoon, it's okay! Just hurry up and do something!"
Sunghoon shakes his head at you, mumbling, "So impatient." as he moves to lie flat on his back.
You stare down at him, confused, when he doesn't immediately start undoing his pants but instead positions his head right between your thighs.
It's funny, Minjeong claimed Sunghoon wasn't really into giving head and only gave it to her a handful of times during the course of their relationship, claiming he preferred to save it for special occasions.
But yet, here he is, willingly pushing your thighs further apart before pressing his lips against your clothed cunt.
The action sends shivers down your spine, and the handcuffs around your wrist suddenly feel tighter. He presses his tongue flat against you, groaning at the taste of your slick that's soaked through your panties. You grind down on him instinctively, your body trembling with anticipation as you squeeze your eyes shut.
"Fuck." You whisper, tugging at the handcuffs in frustration.
The sound of the metal clinking makes Sunghoon chuckle, pressing a final kiss against your damped underwear before mumbling, "Cute."
He makes quick work of sliding your underwear off your legs, tossing them to the 
front seat with a grunt as you wait for him to continue. Sunghoon settles himself between your thighs again, groaning in annoyance as you hover over him. "Stop fucking hovering," he demands, attempting to pull you down directly onto his face, "it's fine."
It's too intimate; you've never even sat on Heeseung's face before, and you're sure this isn't something he's done with Minjeong.
"But, I don't wanna cru- fuck!"
Sunghoon dismisses your worries, forcing you down onto his face and instantly wrapping his lips around your clit. You barely have any time to process that this is completely new territory for you, being this intimate with a man, sitting right on his face while he drags his tongue along your cunt; gathering your wetness and dragging it up towards your clit before wrapping his lips around it once more.
You let out an embarrassingly loud moan at that, leaning your head against the cold window as your face heats up. This only encourages Sunghoon even further, and his confidence grows, feeling bold enough to tease the tip of his tongue into your hole.
You jolt up at this, biting back a moan and wishing you could reach down and grab a fistful of his hair and properly ride his face. He licks another stripe up your folds, gripping your thighs and holding your body in place when you try to squirm away. 
"Stop trying to run from me," he groans into your pussy, the vibrations from his voice sending a shiver across your body. 
He presses his face further into your cunt, moaning at how much wetter you've gotten since he's started. For a man who apparently wasn't one to eat a girl out, he sure did seem desperate and eager to have you come on his face. In fact, it almost seemed as if he was doing it for his own pleasure rather than yours, which only turns you on even more.
After a few more slides of his tongue, you finally feel your orgasm approaching, your thighs tensing around Sunghoon's head.
"I know you're close," he whispers, placing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses on your inner thighs, "go ahead, use me. I know you want to."
He's practically begging at this point, big, wet eyes staring up at you in pure adoration as he sucks your clit back into his mouth. That's your breaking point, the knot in your stomach finally untying itself as your orgasm washes over you.
You let out a moan so loud that your throat hurts shortly afterward, your wrists going limp in the handcuffs as you ride out your high.
Sunghoon doesn't let up until you're practically shaking from overstimulation, your body naturally twitching and squirming away from his greedy mouth as he cleans you up. He pulls away finally, his mouth and chin completely coated with your slick as he leaves a trail of kisses on your bare thighs.
You can't help but stare down at him in awe; he looks completely dazed as if he's running off, nothing but pure desperation and lust for you. You.
"Sunghoon," you say, trying to get his attention, "I…do you keep condoms in here?"
He flutters his eyes open, shaking his head, "No, but 7/11's just down the street. I can go-"
You interrupt him with a shake of your head, "I don't wanna wait; we don't need one."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, I'm on the pill. Just, please, fuck me already."
It's music to his ears, really.
Sunghoon slides himself back up the seat, reaching up to release you from the handcuffs. You groan at this, having gotten used to them and quite frankly enjoyed the temporary feeling of restriction.
"You liked the cuffs?" Sunghoon questions, dropping your wrists from the grab bar.
"Yeah," you admit, "I liked it more than I thought I would."
He nods at this, and you realize now that one of the cuffs is still clasped around your wrist. Sunghoon also notices this and smirks as an idea forms in his head. "Turn around."
You comply with no further questions, groaning when he suddenly pushes your body down into the seat. He brings your arms behind your back, handcuffing you once more as he lets out a sigh of pleasure. "I knew you'd like it."
Sunghoon pushes your skirt back up, straddling himself around your things after pulling his pants and boxers far enough to allow his cock to spring free. He steadies himself with a hand on your shoulder, using the other to teasingly drag his fully-hardened cock across your slick folds.
Sunghoon shivers at this, cursing at the sight as he repeats his movements. He knows he won't last much longer; he was practically seconds away from coming in his boxers just from eating you out, so he really should quit with the teasing for his own sake.
Minjeong had never allowed him to fuck her without a condom, so this type of intimacy was new and overwhelmingly good.
He finally pushes himself into you, his tip alone causing you to bite down on the leather of his seat. You already felt so full, and he wasn't even halfway inside yet.
"Ah fuck," he groans, "you're so tight, you're so…fuck." He can barely even form a sentence, biting down on his bottom lip as he further inches himself inside of you.
You're not doing any better, feeling as if you're already seconds away from your second orgasm when he's hardly even done anything. It takes a minute before he's fully inside of you, pausing before he leans down and asks, "Can I move?"
"Please, I need you to."
Sunghoon nods at this, pressing a kiss against your ear before sitting himself back up. He angles your hips off the seat but presses your chest further into it, giving you (and himself) the perfect arch to comfortably slide in and out.
The first few thrusts are slow, as expected, but just enough to get you used to his size. Even this was all too much for Sunghoon; he was already dangerously close to his orgasm.
He didn't intend on speeding up his thrusts already, but he really can't help it. Everything about this feels too good. The way your walls perfectly wrap around him, and the way you're moaning and cursing for him to keep going are overwhelmingly good.
"Fuck." He moans, squeezing his eyes shut as he presses you down further into the backseat. He pulls his cock all the way out before pushing himself back in, which you seem to enjoy. He does it a few more times, mostly to humor himself since it's something he assumed you would've been annoyed by.
"Sunghoon," you pant, "I'm close."
"Already?" He asks, pushing your hips downwards until you're lying flat on your stomach.
He tries to come off as cocky and frustrated, but he really is grateful you're already so close to your orgasm, seeing that he felt like he could burst at any given second.
You nod, "Please, keep going."
He doesn't respond, opting to remain silent as you pull his cock out of you before ramming it back in at a pace much harder and faster than before. His thrusts are sloppy and borderline desperate, the sound of skin slapping and grunts filling the air shortly afterward.
The two of you could hardly keep your eyes open, too lost in the pleasure of your approaching orgasms.
Your's hits first, and Sunghoon's follows shortly after, practically filling you up to the brim with his cum. You've never felt so full and warm, heat spreading through your entire body as you slowly calm down and regulate hour breathing.
Sunghoon doesn't feel like moving, but he does anyway, slipping himself out of you with a wince, watching his cum drip out of you and onto the seat of the car. He curses at the sight, stopping himself from leaning forward and eating it out of you.
He undoes both of the handcuffs this time, helping you sit up as you avoid eye contact with each other. "Hold on," he says, re-adjusting his pants and boxers, "I should have a towel or something in the trunk."
Sunghoon steps out of the car, returning a minute later with a towel in hand. He leans down, prepared to clean you up, until you stop him, "It's okay, I got it."
He shakes his head, "I can do it for you."
"It's fine," you say, buttoning up your shirt, "I'd prefer to do it myself, actually."
Sunghoon finally gives in, handing you the towel before leaning over the center console and retrieving your panties from the passenger seat. He waits patiently for you to finish up, instructing you to just drop the towel on the floor as he hands you your underwear.
"Hey, have you…do you think you've sobered up yet?" He asks, watching as you slip your panties back on.
"Yeah, why?"
"Before I met you in the bathroom, I took a few bites of an edible, and I think it's starting to kick in. I think you should drive."
You sigh, mostly because this was not at all what you'd been hoping he'd say. "Drive where? To your place? Then where would I go?"
"I can pay for your Uber home."
"Sunghoon, it's past midnight, and I'm a girl; taking an Uber this late is too dangerous."
"Then drive back to your place; I'll sleep in the car and drive off in the morning."
You groan, "No, Minjeong might visit me in the morning. What'll she think when she sees your car in my driveway?"
"Dammit, YN, then just spend the night at my place. You can take my bed, and I'll sleep on the couch; just please drive us somewhere, for fuck's sake."
Bickering with Sunghoon somehow doesn't annoy you; in fact, it feels almost domestic. Going back and forth like a real couple.
"Fine." You say, climbing into the driver's seat.
Sunghoon's phone falls off the dashboard in the process, now charged at twenty-eight percent, and apparently, a missed text from Minjeong that was sent a few minutes ago.
The jealousy that fills your chest is downright abnormal; Minjeong is your best friend; there's no real reason for you to feel jealous of her in the first place. 
In fact, you shouldn't feel any sort of guilt at all; it's not like they're still together. They've been broken up for three weeks and three days. 
Three weeks. And Three days.
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airybcby · 6 months ago
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Call It What You Want To
(soft launching with the bllk boys)
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a / n — i love soft launches and blue lock…so why not combine them?
content — fluff, cutesie stuff, bllk characters x fem! reader, pretty much gn! but i did use ‘she’ so just to be safe, + your faves if you want!!
synopsis — soft launches with the boyfies <3
✿.。. “ nobody’s heard from me for months , ” .。.✿
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is NEVER on social media. has accounts of course, but never posts on them. usually the most they do is repost things about soccer on their stories. so when they post these pictures as their first post EVER? it’s inevitable that their fans are going to go insane.
they preferred posting these pictures, neither of your faces showing. you’d both decided to keep your relationship “private but not secret” , if someone were to find out it was you in these photos? so be it. they would never dream of hiding you from the world.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ RIN ITOSHI, barou shouei, sae itoshi, jinpachi ego
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they don't have many posts, but the ones they do have no less than a million likes each. their fans are adoring, so when they post a new photo, thousands of people get the notification and within seconds the post has 200k likes.
their fans are insane, and that's putting it lightly. they find your account within a minute all by looking at your phone case and finding your account.
the both of you wake up the next morning and find yourselves not only trending on twitter, but also with thousands of edits made of the two of you. AND A SHIP NAME??
so much for a soft launch.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ YUKIMIYA KENYU(im biased), shido ryusei, MICHAEL KAISER, hyoma chigiri
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a chronic poster. i mean literal photo dumps GALORE. they had many fans, obviously with them being a famous soccer player, but also because of how 'real' they were. they would constantly post stories in the bathroom and ranting- all that fun stuff.
their fans had no indication that they'd been in a relationship at all. which was strange because due to their openness, their fans began thinking they deserved to know every little thing about them.
they just wanted to keep you their little secret for a little bit, so they posted these very inconspicuous photos and had the internet up in a frenzy.
soccerluver44: WHO IS THIS??
urmomshouse: no way
and thousands of comments just like that flooded their inbox.
this was fun, they thought. maybe for a little while longer they'd keep you their little secret. the thought crossed their mind as they pressed the 'your story' button, posting a photo of them sitting on the sink with your arms wrapped around them.
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ MEGURU BACHIRA, isagi yoichi, EITA OTOYA, oliver aiku
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not a constant poster, but definitely has a social media presence. they mostly post about their upcoming games and where to get tickets and watch. they definitely don't post about their personal life, so when people log on and see a soft launch??
the world goes into a state of shock. the comments are limited, so no one besides people they follow back (most of which who already knew of the relationship) are allowed to comment.
they did this on purpose. they saw no point in having strangers question them when the caption said it all
" spoiling my girl <3 "
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ REO MIKAGE, tabito karasu, jyubei aryu, DON LORENZO
✿.。. “ i'm doing better than i ever was ” .。.✿
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took myself to the computer version to do this since there's a photo limit on the mobile version.
hope yall liked it though, i've never done anything like this before!!
likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated!!
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technoxenoholic · 2 years ago
Note
as people are rightly pointing out in the notes (although i'm not going to go reblog any of them bc i haven't got the spoons to do that on mobile browser here) YOU SHOULD NOT GIVE TRUE ANSWERS TO YOUR SECURITY QUESTIONS.
the bank isn't going to say "sorry, we know your mother's maiden name and it isn't that". they are NOT fact checking you. security questions are exclusively for the purpose of agreeing ahead of time on answers ONLY YOU WOULD GIVE.
i repeat: the answers to your security questions NEED NOT BE TRUE. in fact, they need not even be RELEVANT.
the only thing that matters is that you are the only person in the world who knows to answer "what was your mother's maiden name?" with "sir waffleton the fourth" or "the secret tunnel from avatar" or "bingus stromboni". they can keep guessing your mother's ACTUAL maiden name as long as they like; having the real-life correct answer should NEVER give them the security question correct answer.
think of it less like a quiz question and more like a secret code.
What was your favorite subject in school?
Anon,
I am assuming you are the same person who asked me this and the animal question, and I'm going to be honest, I'm not answering them. It sounds sus, and they are legit security questions that many companies use to protect various accounts and I'm not going to give that information out.
I wasn't even going to answer, but decided I should in case I have Tumblr mutuals who are receiving the same anon messages with the friendly reminder of "please be careful regarding the personal information you give out on the internet!"
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luveline · 2 months ago
Note
missing spencer x stripper reader these days
—Spencer visits the strip club unannounced. fem, 1.1k
Spencer can’t be clinical about it forever. You’re a sex worker. He doesn’t care, but he can’t ignore it when you look like that. 
You’re standing by the bar slouched backward, your abdomen bent forward, an unsexy position if you were to ask a patron, but weirdly endearing from where Spencer’s standing. Your heels are completely clear. He can see your toes, their painted nails, and the bandaid on the back of your foot where you twist. “Can I have another water, please?” you ask. 
The lingerie is blue. Spencer loves blue. Three pieces, a bra, underwear, and a suspender belt holding stockings the colour of your skin. He knows this is just work, that he’s not being a good friend thinking about how pretty you really look, but it’s not just pretty. His ears start burning the longer he sees it. You shift your weight from one foot to another and your thighs looks soft. 
You take your new glass of water and press yourself flush to the wall. Then you level your gaze and see Spencer watching you, expression jumping from happy to confused to knowing. 
“Hey, Spencer,” you call, hard to hear over the music pounding and the sound of men jeering at to the left near the big stage. “Are you here to see me, or is it a pleasure trip?” 
He clears his throat as discreetly as possible and makes his way to you. The heels make you taller, your legs longer, and the lingerie reveals simple things he doesn’t often think about, the shapes of your breasts, the curve of your sides, your hips leading down… Oh, god, he thinks, feeling sorrier than sorry. 
“You okay?” 
“I came to ask you that.” 
You frown, perturbed. “Why?” 
“You didn’t answer your phone. I just wanted to make sure everyone was still being nice to you.” 
Your frown softens but doesn’t fade. “It’s broken.”
See, he’d believe you, but you used to wear this Tiffany necklace with a soft bevelled heart around your neck until recently, when you told Spencer you lost it, and showed him your second tell. When you’re in pain, your hands tend to strain from you, pushed out and fingers curling. When you lie, you smile too soon, and your eyes catch on the freckles on his nose. 
He pulls open his messenger back and sorts through papers for the black and silver mobile. It’s his emergency phone; should something ever happen to the first, he still wants to be able to contact the outside world. “Here,” he says, offering it to you. 
You’re still. “I can’t take your phone.” 
“It’s a spare. A burner phone? I bought it for emergencies, and this could be one.” 
“Spencer, I can’t…” 
“Please, will you? I’ll get another one.” 
You need a phone. Maybe ten years ago you could get by without one, but you need a phone to arrange bills, talk to your landlord, your boss, your doctor, whatever. Being without one in an emergency could mean bad things. 
You take it, biting the inside of your cheek. 
“It’s not very fast,” he says. “There’s a prepaid sim in there for now, but I can get you a real one.” 
“I can do that. Thank you, Spencer. I’ll pay you back.” 
“I don’t want you to pay me back,” he says with a real smile. 
“I could pay you back… with a dance?” You lean across to tap his elbow. “I saw you looking at me, Spencer Reid. We can go somewhere private.” 
Suddenly, it’s like the air in the room is being sucked out, leaving him, and you, and your beautiful bare skin alone in a tight space. 
He raises the arm you’ve tapped to tap you back. “You’re beautiful,” he says, sure you can see the blood in his cheeks, “but I don’t need anything from you. I want you to have the phone because I know you walk home by yourself most nights, it’s not so you owe me. You don’t owe me anything.” 
He shouldn’t have added that last part. He’s worried you’ll be angry with him for saying something that might embarrass you, but you give him a softer smile. Real, and nothing like the playful fire you’d held when you were offering a dance. “You sure?” you ask quietly. 
“I thought we were friends?” 
“I think so too.” 
“Can I ask you something unrelated?” 
You squint with mock suspicion. “That depends.” 
“Are you cold?” 
You laugh, grabbing his arm as you do to steady yourself on your precarious footwear. “I’m surprised I haven’t got hypothermia,” you say, face tipping gently to your shoulder. “But I don’t think I’d make any money in a hoodie.” 
Spencer doesn’t see how that could be true. You're one of the prettiest girls he’s ever seen, if not the prettiest, and even if you were in a hoodie that would still leave your legs to make money. He’s sure they could. He’s also sure that he shouldn’t say that aloud, instead digging through his bag for the real thing he’d brought you. “Here,” he says, handing you a chocolate chip and strawberry protein bar, “for your rumbling stomach.” 
Those few nights you’d stayed with him, you’d been a little shy and more afraid, probably worried he’d hurt you while you were vulnerable, though he had no intention, but you’d start to let pieces of you through the cracks. You like dancing but not men. You like fresh fruit, the smell of a new car, and buying new clothes. Stripping isn’t, like, easy, you’d said once, sitting cross-legged on his couch with a bowl of soup and that awful shiner, It probably looks easy. People think that the hardest part is being pretty, but it’s not. 
What’s the hardest part? he’d asked, sympathetic and curious simultaneously. The hardest part statistically would be the high rates of femicide and assault. 
It makes you so hungry. It’s like constantly working out every night.
“That’s for me?” you ask. 
“So you can survive your workout.” 
“Spencer, I think you’re the most romantic guy I’ve ever met.” 
He presses the protein bar in the same hand as the phone, ducking his head just a bit, just to see you clearly. “That’s awful. I’m so sorry.” 
You seem to think this is the funniest thing he could’ve said, pressing your face briefly, heart-achingly to his shoulder, before pulling away to beam at him. “Don’t be sorry. You’re the best guy ever. And I had this investment banker come in a few days ago who gave me a hundred dollars to listen to him talk about his new kitten.” 
“I’m surprised I beat that.” 
You spread a hand over his heart. “I wouldn’t worry about competition, Dr. Reid.” 
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thewisecheerio · 6 months ago
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Elden Ring and Disability
Elden Ring is filled with disabled characters. What I love about the specific way that Elden Ring uses disability, though, is that there is almost always a lore-compliant accommodation provided to the disabled character. This world filled with magic doesn't erase disability, but rather finds magical and lore-compliant ways of accommodating it, much like Star Trek:
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Here is some of the disability representation within Elden Ring.
First Generation Albinaurics
First generation albinaurics are synthetic humanoids. Their legs do not function normally, so they are unable to locomote by walking. In the worst cases where no accommodations are provided, we see them crawling to move. But we get two really cool examples of ways to accommodate this disability:
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First, we have Latenna the Albinauric. Normally when you summon her as a spirit ash, she functions as a static archer due to the state of her legs. However, if you summon her near a wolf, she will climb onto the wolf and ride it around to avoid enemy attacks and even gains a new attack (freezing mist) with the help of her ride. This puts the onus on you, the player, to make sure that you summon her under accommodating circumstances if you want her to be able to move. And of course, you could also choose not to, accepting her disabled self as-is as a perfectly great battle companion.
You can see a video of the wolf companion in action here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=st6vGIpsHLs
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Second, we have Commander Gaius. Gaius is also a first generation albinauric with non-functional legs. But you'd almost never know without reading his lore or looking closely at his model, because is accommodated. He rides his Battle Tank Boar into your fight and has absolutely no problem wiping the floor with your sorry ass.
In both cases, a support animal functioning as a mobility aid allows the first generation albinaurics to locomote.
Malenia, Blade of Miquella
Malenia is missing some limbs due to the Scarlet Rot infection she was cursed with at birth rotting. She is also blind due to the sickness taking her sight. However, Malenia is still able to fight you (and win and win and win and win and...). There are two accommodations at play, the first of which is canon and the second of which is a canon-compliant fanon.
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The first is the prosthetics made by the Shaded Castle. Malenia's iconic blade is physically attached to her arm prosthetic, allowing her to wield it in battle regardless of the lack of (natural) limb.
Fun fact: this is based on a real, historical practice with armor where old armor was recycled into prosthetics! There was even a mercenary famed for using a prosthetic limb to hold his sword after an accident that damaged his arm. You can learn more here (timestamp 16:58): https://youtu.be/PJwNjOvn-Ow?t=1018
The second accommodation that allows Malenia to be battle-functional is the water in her battleground. Because she is blind, she can listen for the player character's movement in the water, responding in a Daredevil-esque way. This is probably helped by the fact that her blade instructor--the blind swordsman named in the Blue Dancer Charm--was also blind and likely taught her how to accommodate that disability.
Millicent
Like her mother Malenia, Millicent is also afflicted by the Scarlet Rot. We find her alone and largely non-functional in the Church of the Plague at the beginning of her questline, writhing in pain. We then bring her the Unalloyed Needle, which keeps the Scarlet Rot at bay, relieving pain and allowing her to travel once more. Toward the end of her questline, Millicent removes the needle, which brings the Rot back in full force and ends her life.
In this way, the Unalloyed Needle functions as a treatment regimen for a chronic illness. It does not cure her, but it keeps the illness in check well enough for her to function.
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The fact that Millicent chooses to remove the needle at the end of her quest is Important! Disabled people aren't under any obligation to "meet their potential" or continue treatment because it is convenient for others; if they wish to stop their treatment—even to accept palliative care—that is their right. Anything less disrespects their bodily autonomy and choice to make their own decisions. The fact that we get this representation in Millicent, who actively chooses against continuing her treatment after a certain point, is Good and Important.
And of course, we also provide Millicent with a prosthetic from the Shaded Castle, same as her mother. Once properly accommodated in this way, she can fight by your side as an NPC summon.
Messmer the Impaler
A lot of people speculate that Messmer is blind. This is because his left eye is (as far as we know) permanently shut, while his right eye appears to be a grace-filled synthetic seal rather than an eyeball. It's entirely possible that the grace seal does allow vision, but there are a couple of reasons to consider why it might not:
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1) When we first arrive, Messmer is sitting in the dark. You could interpret this as being a Sad, Broody, Wet Blanket (which he is), or you could interpret this as evidence that things like light and dark are of less consequence to him than to a sighted person. Or, you know, both. A Sad, Broody, Blind, Wet Blanket.
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2) Shortly after he lights candles--probably for your benefit--he sends one of his snakes into your face. He is able to tell from what the snake sees that you are Tarnished and comments on it. We can tell this means he can see what the snake sees, because he would have to figure this out from looking at your eyes and only the snake is close enough to do so.
This suggests that the snakes function as a remote viewing aid, providing a sight accommodation. And yes, again you could choose to interpret the snakes as existing in addition to a sighted right eye, but it is still interesting to consider what they mean if they are simply Support Noodles.
Ranni and Melina
There is a syndrome in our world called Locked-In Syndrome, in which paralysis prevents the entire body from moving with (usually) the sole exception of the eyes. As a consequence, the disabled person is unable to affect the physical world without help due to an inability to physically interact with the world around them.
Ranni and Melina have a similar situation going on, but with different ways of dealing with it. They are both disembodied spirits, having lost their physical bodies.
Ranni chooses to deal with the problem by incarnating herself into a doll's body at least twice: once as the doll's body we spend most of her quest interacting with, and later as a tiny actual-doll-sized doll that the player can interact with. Essentially, she has given herself a prosthetic that allows her to interact with the physical world once more.
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Meanwhile, Melina goes a different route. Rather than incarnate physically, Melina requests that the player character help her reach her goal--the foot of the Erdtree, and then the Forge. In this case, we provide the physical support necessary for Melina to interact with the world, much as support workers do for those unable to care for themselves.
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Goldmask
Goldmask never speaks to us in words. Rather, he communicates largely via physical movements. Brother Corhyn, a pupil of Goldmask, refers to his master's communication as "the movement of his finger". When Goldmask stops his movements, Corhyn reacts with distress, "I'm a little shaken since the master ceased his movements." He then proceeds to translate what the movements meant up to that point for us.
The fact that Corhyn is distressed at the master's lack of further communication after his movements cease suggests that this is his *only* mode of communication with him.
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This is entirely a canon-compliant headcanon, but I like to believe that this means Goldmask uses sign language that Corhyn is learning to interpret in order to communicate with him. Additionally, the fact that we cannot necessarily interpret it ourselves and must rely on Corhyn to translate means that Corhyn is also acting as a support worker by being Goldmask's translator.
And yes, I think this is largely to poke fun at the Gesture system in the game, but it's also fun disability representation!
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This list isn't exhaustive. There are yet other characters that either are disabled or could be easily argued to be so, like Roderika (grief and/or PTSD, given a space to heal and process), Rennala (depression and/or grief, NOT accommodated AFAICT), and Hyetta (blind, accommodated with...uh..."treatments"). But the fact that this post is already over 1400 words and has yet to touch upon all of the disability representation in the game just shows you how much there is.
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approximateknowledge · 1 year ago
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so over the past couple months ive been solidly finding more and more evidence that kirito is in fact a trans girl, but yesterday i learned i was limiting myself in my search for evidence
because so far ive been looking at the light novels, the anime, and the mainline pc games
but not *the fucking mobile games*
which um... *what the fuck?!*
stuff like this:
or the fact these are all just official art for a real game from 2016
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like *what*
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^pet the girlthing
like im sorry there's a limit to how blatant you can go before it's just canon
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narcjsistx · 2 months ago
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𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐒𝐄𝐒 | OS
shidou ryusei x fem reader ; words: 6.7k (6723)
plot: if there's something you love it's the relationship you have with charles, the little player of PxG. one thing you hate is shidou ryusei, the stupidest boy in the entire universe. the positive negative thing is that charles literally considers you and shidou his parents
extra: spoiler from U-20 and NEL arcs, read at your own risk!! jk, but don't read if you don't want big spoilers, and don't complain to me
𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ; take a look, trust me!
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——— FIRST
"Could you be more precise in your throw? The ball goes where it's supposed to go, but you know that a mistake of even a millimeter can make it end up with the opponent. I want you to be precise" you say sitting comfortably on your bench, legs crossed, pen in hand and a notebook resting on your knees "How exactly? Do I have to go like, wah wah and then booosh?" the boy says, sprinting across the field, moving in a way that only he understands perfectly, but that you're now more or less starting to understand "Exactly. I want more mobility from you"
Charles nods "Okay, ma mère!" he says laughing, then goes back to his training. You roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed, but you can't suppress the little smile that appears on your lips: he's been using this nickname for months now, at first it was weird, but now it almost feels strange if he calls you by your name, your real name. It's just that little by little you've become fond of the idea of playing an almost maternal role for Charles, who is actually only a few years younger than you
"Yoo! Where's my favorite boy?" says someone you recognize by their usual shrill tone of voice
Oh, and here's Charles' father figure
What a shitty choice
"Shidou!" the boy shouts running towards the blond, who ruffles his hair as soon as they get close "Usual boring training?" he asks, and you watch them from afar annoyed. You know that Shidou asks this because he knows that you are almost always the one training the ftench genius, except for the rare times Loki does it. Shidou knows you're here, otherwise he wouldn't have looked at you and smiled that usual smile he does because he knows it annoys you
"I wouldn't say boring. I improved a few things with my coach" he says, and you like how Charles defends you in front of that parasite "Improved with Y/n? Then she blinded you too with those same old training sessions..." he says, even seeming sorry for the boy "Training is stupid, all you need is practice on the field" Shidou says starting to run towards the ball, which has remained further away from them. Charles chases him, and between them begins a 1vs1 that leaves you space to hate Shidou in your thoughts
You hate how sure of himself he is, how he always wants to prove himself better than you in front of Charles and everyone in general. You simply hate Ryusei Shidou, but you have to live with the idea that the little blond only listens to you and him in the whole Blue Lock, if not sometimes even Julian Loki. The last match of the Neo Genesis League was about to start, and in a few days PxG would face Bastard Munchen, who you knew were in a bit of a critical situation due to their players. Being on par with Anri in terms of organisation, it was up to you and her to manage the training sessions that Ego administered to the players, and as a result you knew practically everything that was going on in the teams, although you had to remain impartial due to your more present commitment to the french team. You were originally supposed to end up as Chigiri's assistant coach at Manshine City, but at the last minute you asked to coach Charles, and the role was given to you straight away. Charles was not in the Blue Lock training system, he came from a french city whose name you only sometimes remembered. He would not stay here in Japan, at the end of the NEL he would leave like all the other foreign players. Your heart ached a little thinking about it, but you wanted to make him strong first and then think about the separation
When you had the recording videos of the foreign players in hand, he had immediately caught your attention. After a few training sessions together he had already started to trust you: Charles was a child, but you had 9 younger brothers at home who had always given you problems, so managing him was like walking on already studied ground
You weren't sure how Charles had come to hear only you and the other two boys, but you didn't care so much actually. The ball lands a few meters from where you're sitting, and Shidou immediately arrives and picks it up, running back into the middle of the field, but not before staring at you for a few seconds. Here comes the parasite
Shidou had been in the Blue Lock since the beginning of the project, or at least, something like that. During the match against U-20 he had played alongside Sae Itoshi, thus appearing as an enemy. But there was much more underneath
At the beginning of the project, you and Shidou were actually friends, if that's what you could call the relationship. You were the practical part of Ego and Anri, the only one who watched the games on the bench and not through a screen like them. You liked your role, as you liked exchanging a few words with the players. In the end, you had become a bit of a friend to everyone, the only girl in a myriad of boys who only had soccer and food on their minds. And when you say friend to everyone, Ryusei also falls into this category
You joked, you rooted for him, and he rooted for you when you were called up by Ego after some little mistake you made. It happened that he would spend hours and hours on the field just to talk to you while he kicked the ball; if he had some free time after training, he would ask you to get some pink dye and redo the color in his hair. It was a strange relationship, damn strange, but beautiful in your opinion. At least that was before he was muzzled into silence, tied up in a room for Rin Itoshi's safety. You knew he was deadly, but on the one hand you thought, and still think, Ego's behavior was a little excessive. And so Shidou had been "bought" by the prodigy, moved to the U-20 team and brought back to the Blue Lock only at the start of the Neo Genesis League. And from that moment, everything had changed
The first few days after his return you tried to talk to him, thinking that everything was the same as before, but he seemed to be the same but far from you. And so, gradually, you started to hate him and he started to love your annoyed face because of him. And here you are again, trying to ignore the part where you were deeply disappointed when you heard he was leaving for another team. But you preferred that to be ignored, at least by you and the entire world
“ATTENTION!” Charles shouts, and before you know it, the ball lands in your face, knocking you off the bench. You lay there confused for a few seconds, before you see the boy in your field of vision, followed by the blond who doesn't even try to hide his laughter "Maybe the throw was a little crooked, Shidou" says the french kid, looking up at the other "If that's the result, the throw was perfect!" he says laughing. You stay on the floor, this time sitting up while you rub your aching head while listening to the bullshit Shudou says
"Oh no, ma mère, are you going to die?" Charles says smiling at you, and even though you're still in pain you can't help but laugh a little at his comment "I don't think so, Charles. I'd rather someone else die" you say looking up, and immediately the little one starts laughing, but it's not the same for Ryusei, who looks down at you "I guess you're the funny one in your family" he says with a raised eyebrow "Oh trust me, I am. I don't think I can say the same about you. Months after you've been here, you still suck at making people laugh" you say, and the child's laughter becomes louder as Shidou unexpectedly offers you a hand to stand up. You were confused "Huh?" you mutter "I may not be funny, but I'm still a gentleman" he says, and from the tone of his voice it sounds damn sure. You stare at his hand for a while, before deciding that sooner or later you'll have to get up off the ground if you don't want to stay here forever. You're about to grab his hand when he removes it, putting both of them in the pockets of his track pants as he starts walking towards the exit of the infield "I'm kidding. Not that I care about manners so suddenly"
"Oh, fuck you bastard!" you say, getting up from the ground by yourself, while he has already made his way to the exit. You hear him laugh at your comment, as he raises his hand, still with his back to you, waving it "See you, family!" he says in a friendly tone, and this only makes your blood boil even more in your veins
"Mère and Dad are arguing" Charles says, looking at you amused with the usual sharp tooth sticking out of his mouth. You turn to him with a huff, picking up your notebook on the floor before going back to sit on the bench "Let's continue"
——— SECOND
"You should seriously stop eating this crap" you tell the boy, whose mouth is completely full of the pink substance "It's not my problem if you don't like it" he says, continuing to gorge on inordinate amounts of the dessert. The cafeteria is almost completely empty, except for a few other boys from PxG who are sitting in silence eating. Charles always eats sweets before going to sleep, and for a few days now he's been obsessed with a strawberry jelly of who knows what off brand. You take a sip of your tea, ignoring the kid who continues to dirty his tray. It's almost 10pm and you're tired too, today has been a particularly tiring day due to your commitments: between various training sessions and Ego who asked you at least ten times to clean the team's locker room, you've had little time to rest. And you were so damn sleepy, but you knew Charles would keep you awake even past the time he was, technically, supposed to go to his dorm to rest
As the minutes pass, the cafeteria empties. Now there are only you and the boy left, who is on his third helping of his dessert
"I think that's enough" you say taking the container from his hands, throwing it in the bin at the side of your table. You see Charles's face go white, as if you had just told him he can't play soccer "What did you just do?!" he says in shock, moving to put a hand in the bin, probably to get the rest of the portion. You look at him disgusted, taking it from his shirt to lift it up "Take that thing back and I swear tomorrow I'll ask Loki to let you train with him for a whole week"
"You really wouldn't do that. You love me too much, right ma mère?"
"I have to educate you like a mother too, don't I?"
"LEAVE ME ALONE" the kid says kicking, and you let him go because of your tiredness. You watch him tiredly as he runs towards the exit of the cafeteria, rubbing your eyes from tiredness "Charles, come back here-" you say walking towards his direction, but are surprised when you hear someone fall. You walk towards the corridor, where you see Charles on the ground and, in front of him, Shidou on the ground too
With a hint of surprise you notice how, unlike always, Shidou's hair is down instead of straight up. Blonde and pink locks fall over his face, and looking further down you notice that he, like Charles, is not wearing his usual uniform, replaced instead by a gray tank top and blue pajama pants, provided by the Blue Lock. You can't say he's not a good looking, but that's not exactly the context in which you would say that
"Ooouch" the boy says, rubbing his head, probably in pain "Oh! Shidou?" he continues, noticing the boy "I was just looking for you" the boy says, then looks up at you, smiling cheekily "You always have your mommy with you, huh?"
You glare at him, bending down to Charles' height "You okay?" you ask, and he nods "I'd be better off with the pudding still in my hands" he says, and you snort in his face, making him laugh. Shidou looks at you confused, tilting his head "What do you mean?" he asks curiously, and as much as you don't want to explain, Charles is the one who immediately takes care of answering him "She threw a whole pudding in the trash!" he says offended, and you pull his ear "It wasn't a whole pudding, there were barely two spoonfuls left to finish it! And besides, it's not good for you to eat it" you say as if to scold him, and this time too the french kid laughs. Shidou watches you, getting back on your feet and then offering a hand to Charles to get back on his feet. He offers his hand to you too, but you avoid being teased this time too and get up on your own
"You mean the pink shit Ego always puts next to the cutlery?" the boy asks, putting his hands in his pockets. Charles nods frantically "That. You've tried it too, right? It's damn good, in France we don't have-" he says, but Shidou cuts him off "That sucks" he says in a disgusted tone, making you raise your face because you wouldn't have expected a sign of collaboration
"See? If Shidou tells you that too, you should really let that shit go" you say, nodding, ruffling the boy's hair "If you say so..." he says, now defeated. You laugh internally at seeing him so saddened by something like that, but you notice how Ryusei is also holding back a laugh
Your eyes meet for a few seconds, and soon neither of you can help but laugh. Charles looks at you in confusion as you laugh, but then suddenly a genius seems to pass through his mind, "You guys are getting along great!" he says emotionally, probably because of seeing you almost always insult each other. You immediately stop laughing, tugging on his ear again “Don’t talk nonsense. Now go to sleep!” you say, and he grumbles a bit before heading off to his dorm
You and Shidou remain in the empty hallway. You look down, while he has no qualms about staring at you brazenly: typical of him, he has never felt ashamed of anything, and you don't think he'll ever start. You stare at the floor for a bit too long, to the point of looking up "You were looking for Charles earlier, weren't you?" you ask crossing your arms. He seems to think about it "Yeah. But I don't think I need it anymore" he says, but the way he says it makes you curious "What did you need?" you ask, and he puts a hand on the back of his neck "I usually ask Karasu to help me dry my hair, but he went to practice. I wanted to ask Charles but he went to sleep, from what I understand" he says
Why are you thinking what you're thinking. What the fuck is going on with you to even think about asking him?. You should seriously visit a specialist, because it is impossible that just seeing him like this has given you all this courage, so much so that it overshadows the hatred you feel for him
"What if I helped you?"
——— THIRD
You shake your hand through the boy's hair, trying to see where it's still wet. The pink strands seem more faded now that they're in front of you, and you wonder when the last time he got his signature pink color was. You don't even know how you ended up in this situation, even though you explicitly asked to help him
Maybe you missed the feeling of being close to him, but admitting it would be like a defeat for yourself. So, inside, you say that it was just a kind act in a moment of kindness. And then, Shidou is surely going through a moment of simple kindness too: according to your reasoning, he should hate you too. This is just a moment of pause between the two of you, and when you're done, everything will be the same as before: just people who can't stand each other, linked by Charles exclusively as divorced parents
"Aren't you tired?" he asks, after a long time of being silent; tired? You could literally lie down on the floor right now and fall asleep immediately "No. I'm not" you say, because admitting it would be like handing him the fact that you have a limit on a silver platter. He chuckles to himself, but you don't bother asking yourself why: after all, he's Shidou, he does a lot of things for no reason behind it. The sound of the hair dryer echoes in the boy's room for a while longer, until you feel his hair finally dry. You indulge a little in touching it, because it is definitely softer than you ever imagined. Shidou gets up from the chair, walks towards the mirror and you watch him as he touches his hair, perhaps to check it. Next to his bed you notice a hair gel lotion, probably used for the usual hairstyle. "The pink streaks have faded a bit" you say, looking at him from a distance. This time it's you who speaks, and he turns to look at you for a few seconds, then looks at himself in the mirror again "I know"
You don't know why, but asking him seems like you've opened a conversation that you have to conclude. It's strange, because you have this impression with him since he was moved to the opposing team
"Aren't you going to get your hair colored again? Aren't you going to ask Anri for the dye?" you ask, getting closer, but you immediately stop, still keeping a little distance "I haven't gotten my hair colored in a while, maybe since before the game against Blue Lock"
Your heart skips a beat. If it's like he says, he hasn't had his hair dyed since you stopped doing it. It had become a habit of yours, after all
"I see" you stammer, suddenly feeling cramped in the large room "I think I'll go to my room" you say, and you scurry toward the exit door. Your cheeks are itchy with redness, and damn, why did you suddenly have this fucking reaction? He probably didn't do it again because he's busy with NEL games, you should consider yourself less important in other people's lives.
You walk down the empty hallway towards your room, when you hear Shidou pop out of his door again "Hey" he says, and you stop without turning around "What?" you ask "Do you like more my hair down or up?" he asks
"Down" you say
"I get it. See you, mother of the child"
Damn, he hadn't lost a bit of that side he knew made your knees weak. Fuck you, Shidou Ryusei
——— FOURTH
The folder in your hands is probably begging for mercy because of how tightly you're gripping it. NEL games always excite you, but watching the two current strongest teams clash is almost legendary. PxG has finally found a worthy opponent, who is giving them quite a few problems despite having some complete geniuses in their team: Rin Itoshi, Charles, Karasu Tabito... and, as much as I hated to admit it, Shidou himself was one of the strongest
"Are you sure the current formation is okay? Having Itoshi Rin so far forward could be a disadvantage for the defense" you say without taking your eyes off the game. Loki shakes his head, sitting next to you "The further back that boy is, the better. He must become a monster" he says confidently, and you can only accept his words and stay silent. The typical passages between Charles and Shidou begin, and from afar you can't help but admire them: even though they met for the first time months ago, they had a really efficient chemical reaction, something that not even other players have managed to have with the other external players
From a distance, they really do seem to have a relationship that goes beyond trust. Maybe not quite father and son, but more like older brother and younger brother. But by now, the idea of Shidou being Charles' father figure is so ingrained in your mind that the boy himself admits it from time to time. On the one hand, however, you are happy that the person who chose the blond is Ryusei. He is wild, loud, and outspoken. Charles is the same, and he needed someone who could understand him besides you, who however played more of a role in calming him down when he was at his best. If you and Shidou weren't in such a strange relationship, maybe you could have all spent more time together with Charles
The ball goes up in the air, Raichi Jingo of Bastard Munchen jumps to catch it. Shidou does the same, ending up bumping forehead to forehead with the other player. They both fall to the ground, and you immediately understand what is about to happen. Damn, him and his temper
"Don't even try" you say, walking briskly into the field. Shidou with an annoyed face has just gotten up from the ground, and from the way he moves you understand that he wants to grab Raichi by the collar and probably punch him. He notices you when you get closer, moving his hands away from where they were about to go, at the boy's neck "Huh?" he asks perplexed, as if he doesn't know
You don't even know why you're doing it, but when you heard the referee's whistle you relived a scene you've already seen. The last time something like this happened Shidou ended up playing against Blue Lock, and your relationship was ruined. It's like watching a movie on loop, but this time you want to change it
"If you punch him you'll get a red card, and you'll be lock off. Think about it, because I don't think you want to be" you say with a serious face, but with a hint of masked pity "You know too that you are at risk here, please don't make the same mistake from months ago" you say, and he seems seriously in difficulty in front of your words
"Why do you do this?" he asks, and you can't help but feel a little awkward. You don't want to tell him you're doing it because it would hurt to see him go away from you again, because you would still have to pretend to hate him even though you know you don't, and that it's just a way of putting it into practice because of his behavior since he came back, which has made you feel bad
"Because the team needs you. You have to stay here" you say, masking your words. Shidou sighs, looks at you, Raichi, then back at you; he walks away, returning to his starting position. You breathe a sigh of relief, and as you walk back to the bench you hear the whistle that signals the continuation of the match
You walk for a nanosecond next to Charles, who doesn't even look at you; but his words reach straight to your ears
"Evidently only ma mère can handle that demon"
——— FIFTH
The boy's calm breathing makes you smile almost spontaneously: seeing Charles so calm is strange, but satisfying. The little thread of drool that stains the pillow makes the scene even more tender than it already is, and your heart hurts a little to think that these are the last hours you spend with him. Because yes, tomorrow Charles will leave
The match ended with the teams drawing, which made both teams the two strongest in the NEL, which officially, has ended. From tomorrow the Blue Lock boys will have 6 weeks off and the foreign players will return home, to their countries so far away. Charles will return to France, to his home, with his real mother and his real father
From tomorrow, you will no longer have the usual annoying blond who calls you for everything, who always seeks your attention, who loves to be chased by you, who only listens to you, or almost. From tomorrow, the corridors of the french section will no longer have the laughter of the members and the smell of their bodies. From tomorrow, one of the most important chapters of your life will close
"Look, you can go to your room if you're sleepy. I don't think you can talk to Charles anymore even if you wanted to" says Shidou, sitting on the bed next to the blond boy "Don't worry" you say
Sitting on the boy's bed, you gently caress his head. After the game he specifically asked to spend the evening with both you and Shidou, and unable to refuse, you ended up in his dorm to spend the last hours with him. You had dinner together with some street food that you had brought from outside, making the boy happy
There is an awkward silence between you, while Charles snores lightly. Today's scene is still between you, which seems like yet another thing you have to conclude between you but which remains suspended in the air, like everything
Between you, everything started but never ended. You had started a relationship that never reached a decisive point because of his move to the U-20 team. You had started to have too much confidence between you, compared to everyone else. You had started, or rather, you had started, to believe that maybe with Ryusei it wasn't just friendship. But none of this was concluded, without a definitive answer
“Fuck” you say, your thoughts feeling a little too heavy for a moment like this, which should be focused solely on the fact that Charles won’t be here soon. You almost casually run your hand over your cheeks, finding them wet. Why? What?
"What the fuck is going on?" Shidou asks from the other bed, looking at your tears that haven't gone unnoticed. You look up, then look down almost immediately. You remain silent, even though you can still feel the tears silently falling
“I asked you what the fuck is going on” the boy asks again, getting up from the bed to sit on the floor next to Charles’ bed, his face inches from your knees. You don’t dare say anything, continuing to text the boy’s head as if you weren’t crying. It's just that everything that revolves around your relationship now seems to weigh more than it has in the past few months
“You say that like you care" you say proudly, sniffling as you glance over Charles’ sleeping face. “What’s wrong with you?” he huffs, resting his cheek against your knee “Don’t you think I should say it? Oh no, you rightly don’t give a shit. I don’t think you’ve ever actually cared, so I don’t see why you should start now all of a sudden” you roll your eyes, and for the first time you find yourself seriously explaining to him what’s been on your mind since this whole situation began
"I seriously don't know what's wrong with you, since I left you've become a different person" Shidou says sighing, and just hearing him speak makes you want to bang his head against the wall until he bleeds: how stupid must he be to not have understood that you're like this because of him?. Where is the Shidou who was always explosive with you but with a touch more affection than the others? What happened to the one you thought you seriously had a crush on?
Where did go the Shidou Ryusei you knew?
"Shit, I really don't know why I'm reacting like this. It's something I'm used to now and maybe thinking that tomorrow Charles will leave I've become more sensitive..." you say laughing sarcastically, even though you still have tears on your cheeks. The blond doesn't answer, continuing to remain a few inches from your leg while the only noise is the light snoring of the boy. "Can I ask you something?" the boy suddenly says, and you look at him a little perplexed. You nod. After all, they will be the same things you have already heard, the same ones he repeats to you so as not to make the strange situation between the two of you seem so obvious
"Can you talk to me honestly for a minute? Really, I need to know what's going on in your mind. I have my own thoughts, but I don't know yours" he says in one breath "because, let's be clear, we both know we don't talk to each other like we used to" he says, resting his mind on your knee, closing the distance that had been separating you for a few minutes now. You swallow a lump of saliva that is more bitter than usual, sighing and not knowing if you really want to talk
But you have to try. It's a 50-50 job, after all
"It's just... damn, I don't even know how to explain it to you in normal terms, because I don't even know how to explain it to myself. I just know that at some point you took another path and I continued on mine, but evidently you lack that path, because you've changed... changed too much, you're not the one I knew, or at least to me. You're still Shidou Ryusei to everyone in the Blue Lock, but to me? Why do we seem like two strangers, if you never treated me like a stranger before the match with the U-20?"
And finally, a part of your heart seems to have the ability to talk to the person directly concerned about everything that has been going through your mind for months. You speak, and each word seems to come out lighter than the last. Shidou looks at you, not daring to interrupt. He looks straight into your eyes, his pinks clashing with yours; it’s a gesture you’ve done a million times before, but why does it seem more human now? Maybe because you’re talking about something important again after months of silence?
"I think it was a situation mainly generated by the rivalry, well it's obvious, you remain a Blue Lock staffer and at the time I was a striker of an enemy team" says Shidou, his calm tone betrayed by a hint of uncertainty "It was natural to do what I did when I came back. On the field it's different, they can't judge me for my personality, but with you I don't kick a ball, and that's the problem" he admits, his gaze now focused on Charles "A problem?" you ask, widening your eyes, a little perplexed by his words "It's a problem. I don't care if that fanatic Rin Itoshi calls me 'bastard' during a game, or if Karasu doesn't pass me the ball in an assist, we're on the field. There's not always a field under my feet, especially when I'm talking to you who are like a bomb that's about to explode, because of me" he continue the conversation, and you start to connect some pieces of the puzzle that is slowly being put before your eyes
Maybe the situation is really deeper than you expected from someone like him. Maybe there really is something that was done by him just for a sensible reason, but just maybe
"What are you trying to tell me?" you say directly, and you see him laugh, almost sarcastically "Oh no, I won't say that out loud. Forget it" he says. "Ryusei, please" you say, practically begging him, and his resolve seems to waver "Shit, what am I supposed to tell you, what do I care what you think of me? That I seriously had a problem with how you were going to judge me after I came back from the match? Do you understand now?"
You would like to ask him to repeat the words, saying that you didn't understand them well, but you would be lying. His words, clear and strong, have arrived so directly in your ears that you suspect he is lying, because he is absolutely not the type to say things like that. Shidou Ryusei basically admitted that he cared about your judgment? He, who has nothing in the world to care about but himself?. "Oh" you just say, not finding the right words to say what you think, because it's too much even for you who are used to having discussions like that. Shidou looks at you, and noticing your embarrassment he lets out a light laugh "Oh? Oh, okay. Continue to pretend that I haven't practically exposed the most intimate part of myself to you" he says tilting his head, resting his cheek on your thigh
"No! It's just- shit, it's more complex than I could have imagined" you say, running a hand through your hair, trying to calm yourself. You hear a light chuckle coming from the boy's direction "I'll pretend to understand. I just need to know that you hate me a little less now, or at least I hope so" he says confidently, and this time it's you who interrupts him "It's not that I hate you, I don't think I ever have actually. It's just that being pushed into a corner hurt more than it should have" you admit, feeling a little embarrassed to tell him so freely. This time he is the one who is left speechless, even though he tries to maintain the usual facade of calm. You look at each other, maybe for minutes; it seems as if, slowly, everything is having a logical thread that was missing for both of you to understand the situation completely
"Honestly, I don't want to give Charles divorced parents" Shidou says, and you laugh lightly at his joke, mentally thanking him for at least trying to make the situation lighter. "I don't think he ever had them. All parents fight" you say, returning your gaze to Charles, in the dream world; out of the corner of your eye you notice how Shidou is looking at him too, and by doing so you really do seem like a family. "Yeah. All parents fight" he repeats, and the silence that is created between you this time is decidedly less tense
"They fight because they love each other" Shidou adds, and you're a little taken aback by his statement, even though it sounds so damn innocent. But like this, in the situation you're in, he doesn't exactly play an innocent role. You sigh, moving your hand through his hair, caressing it a little uncertainly "Yeah. Because they love each other. In a way only of friendship, at least in our case" add a little hasty, while still feeling your heart beating in a way that is decidedly not just about friendship. What is this boy doing to you?
"No. Because they love each other, stop"
——— SIXTH
The already soaked handkerchief remains tightly held in your hands, yet you do everything you can not to cry in front of the boy, who for his part is completely calm if not just a little sorry "Don't do that, come on! Don't do that, ma mère" says Charles pulling your already wet cheeks "Stop it. Let me be the childish one between us for once" you say pulling him to you, trapping him in a hug while he continues to laugh. The bus is slowly filling up with all the french members, who will be returning to France in a few hours. You hug Charles, so tightly that it probably takes his breath away. You've grown so fond of him, and thinking that he won't be here this afternoon makes your heart ache. He's really become like your baby, in one way or another
"You don't have to go away and pretend you never met me, okay? You have my number and call me whenever you want, even if it's just to explain what you did in training or to tell me stupid things" you say putting your hands on his shoulders, faces facing each other. You see him nod, smiling "I get it. But you will pay the phone fee for calls overseas" he says, and you roll your eyes pretending to be annoyed, then hug him again. He has to leave, you know that I'm actually already late, but you're waiting. You wait, because you know that Shidou also wants to say goodbye to him. But where the fuck is he?
You look around, and only after a few seconds you feel someone touch your shoulder. You jump, but you see the blond at your side, one arm around your shoulders and one on the kid's shoulders, holding you close "Were you thinking of leaving without saying goodbye to your family?" he says sarcastically, and they both burst out laughing while you look at them smiling, wiping away a tear
"But really, Charles. No matter what, you have me, Shidou, you have us. You're still our little pain in the ass, but we love you" you tell the boy, and you see him smile genuinely for the first time. He nods, scratching his chubby cheek "I know, ma mère. I have a home in France as well as here in Japan, with you two. Don't tell me things I already know" he says, making you laugh. You all look at each other, and the weight of detachment seems to be a little lighter knowing that he knows he always has the two of you. You look at Charles, who suddenly turns towards Shidou "You promised me something. Do it" he says, and you look at them confused "Huh?" you say, but Shidou ignores you and looks at Charles "You'll be the first to know, don't worry about that, kiddo"
Julian Loki calls Charles. You hug for the last time, this time all together, and you say goodbye to him as he gets on the bus, trying to hold back the tears that start to fall spontaneously when the bus finally leaves. He's gone. Charles is gone
With your face even more full of tears you use the handkerchief, but it no longer has any effect. You notice later that Shidou's arm is still around your shoulders, as you walk back into the Blue Lock facility. But it's a nice feeling, with this sadness. You walk until you reach the corridor that separates the street of your room from that of the boys' dormitories, who will also leave the facility this afternoon to finally have some free time. You only now realize that you won't see Shidou for a while, just now that you have clarified
You stop, but you don't let go
“So...” he begins, keeping the hype high “Do you have anything to do on your weeks off?”
"No. I'm free practically every day"
"I think you have every day busy from now, until you get back here. Busy with me"
——— SEVENTH
— Charles, your mother is officially back with me. I'll tell you more when you get back here, but just know that I kept my promise to tell her how I feel about her. We miss you, kiddo — 18:09
delivered, not yet read
— I have to say that she kisses well too — 18:09
delivered, not yet read
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deathbyday · 3 months ago
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-'⁠🫧*⁠.⁠✧ MOUTHWASHING ✧.⁠*⁠🫧'⁠ -
P5
“How could we end up here…?”
Daisuke x implied F!Reader
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Written By: DeathByDay
(Also written on Mobile)
2 MONTHS AFTER THE CRASH
(continued)
You stared in shock at the sight in front of you. Jimmy had opened one of the shipping boxes, hoping for something useful. You were all disappointed after he flipped the flaps to reveal mouthwash.
“It’s.. this is..” Jimmy muttered softly, at a loss for words. “Mouthwash?” Anya finished for him, her voice squeaky, sounding like she was about to cry. “Is this the only thing in here?” You whispered through the tense air, let down by what the boxes contained.
“Un-fucking-believable.” Swansea murmured, ignoring your question. You couldn’t blame him though. You probably would’ve ignored yourself as well, due to the shock. “There’s gotta be an ocean of the stuff in here! This room looks freaking endless!” Daisuke exclaimed, waving his arms around.
“This is what they’d have six people hauling for over a year?” Jimmy asked. Daisuke and Swansea looked up towards him while you and Anya continued staring down at the liquid. “All of this.. for mouthwash?!” He shouted, getting frustrated.
“The sugar content probably offsets any potential as a disinfectant.” Anya said, looking at the back of the bottle. “Disinfectant? What are you.. let me see that!” Swansea snatched the item out of her hand, taking a look at it himself.
He stayed silent for a moment, taking his time to read it. “14% Ethanol!” He laughed, causing Daisuke to turn to him and chuckle awkwardly. “I suppose we’ll smell good at least?” He tilted his head in confusion, not understanding why the older male was grinning.
“That’s right, kiddo! You can bet your ass on that.” The older man nodded, a smirk replacing his usual frown. “W-What are you doing?!” Anya worriedly asked, hands shaking. “Stop that!” She demanded.
Swansea took the cap off the bottle before drinking the mouthwash, causing you to softly gasp. “Whew! Ohh.. shut up. I’m just an old codger taking care of his dental hygiene.” He excused. You press your lips together, brows creasing.
“You hear that? That’s the sound of 15 years of sobriety popping like a cyst. A glorious, magnificent, red hot cyst!” Swansea shouted before cheering for Captain Curly, pumping the mouthwash into the air.
“Doesn’t that burn your throat?” You asked him, eyes squinting. He chuckled before nodding slowly, already feeling the kick of the blue liquid. “Guess anyone could get seriously blasted off of this stuff.” Daisuke muttered, staring at Swansea.
“Yeah, and kill you in the process.” Jimmy added. You kept your hand on your forearm, feeling nothing but concern for the drunken man by you. You looked towards Jimmy, your face filled with curiosity.
“Could it really kill someone? Just from drinking mouthwash?” Your brows furrowed. Jimmy nodded. “Yeah, it could.” He confirmed.
“This can’t be real.. I-.. there’s no way.” Anya held her face in the palm of her hands, voice muffled by them. “Now we can go out in style!” Swansea joked before turning his head towards the boy beside you.
“Daisuke..” He sang. “Come here! Anyone ever teach you how to drink like a man?” He asked, raising the mouthwash from his hand, handing it towards the young brunette.
You couldn’t help but watch, knowing that if you tried to do anything, you’d just be labeled as a “loser” or a “party pooper” by Swansea. So, you stayed silent, not trying anything to ruin their small bonding time.
————
6 DAYS BEFORE THE CRASH
You, Swansea, Jimmy, Daisuke and Anya stood in front of the main lounge door, waiting for the captain to arrive and be surprised. You all had on party hats, yours being yellow with red spots around it.
A smile was plastered on your face, excited to do your first surprise-birthday. Swansea had informed you that every year, they do these surprises for one person per trip. You were quickly on board, happy to help set everything up.
Suddenly, the automatic door opened, revealing the blonde. The five of you started clapping as he stepped through the door. “Surprise!” Jimmy chuckled as everyone calmed down.
“Suuurpriiusee!” Daisuke shouted, a dorky grin running along his mouth. “Look at your face!” He exclaimed, throwing his arms in the air, almost smacking you in the face. “Gotcha!” Anya chuckled, crossing her arms over her chest.
“Did we get you?” You asked, tilting your head as you held your hands behind your back. Curly’s face already answered your question. “Cheers.” Swansea mutters behind you, his hands on his hips.
“Wow..” Curly murmured. “What’s the.. uh.. occasion?” He asked, his facial expression still slightly shocked. “We only get one communal birthday party per trip, right? So we can have it whenever.” Anya explained, a small smile glazing her lips.
“Only one person can really be surprise birthday’ed per trip. We did Swansea last hall, remember?” Jimmy reminded, causing Daisuke to turn towards him, his mouth open in disbelief.
“No way. I can’t believe I missed that!” He pouted as Jimmy ignored him. “You were next on the list. So, congratulations.” He continued.
“Hate to say it though, your duties have to extend to even your own birthday party.” He hesitated, chuckling. On the fridge, there’s a recipe notebook for food and beverages. Sadly enough, the cake in the book has a code to make it. And the only one who has the code scanner is the captain.
“You’re the only one with clearance to make the cake.” Anya disappointingly said, her voice soft before raising again. “The recipe is there by the machine. Hop to it, captain!” She smiled.
Curly chuckled lowly before stepping to the side and walking towards the fridge. Grabbing the code scanner, he flipped to the page the code was on before scanning it.
2341
He quickly memorized it and stepped over to the food dispenser, sweetener in hand. He set it in the machine, pushing the buttons. After a few quick seconds, it was done. He grabbed it from the dispenser before rushing to finish it, placing it in the machine and making the cake.
After only a short while, he was done. The five of you quickly sat down, ready to eat. Curly grabbed the cake and walked to the table, setting it down in the middle of you all. He then sat on the end of the table, Jimmy across from him.
“You gotta make a speech.” Daisuke started, getting hyper once again. “Speech, speech, speech!” He chanted, pumping his fists into the air. You chuckled at his actions, your mouth watering at the sight of the cake in front of you. “Go on!” Anya encouraged. Curly hesitated for a moment, causing Jimmy to interfere.
“Hey.. what’s wrong?” He asked, his brows furrowing. Curly sighed before explaining that Pony Express finally shut down, and that this would be the crews final mission together. You glanced at him, brows creasing as you felt your heartbeat get faster.
“We’ll still be paid, right? They can’t just.. send us into space and expect us not to get a paycheck, can they?” You muttered, feeing your leg bounce with anxiety.
Curly turned his head towards you, confidently nodding. “Of course. We will receive the paycheck for this delivery. I don’t know anymore than that.” He stated.
“Pony Express finally kicking the bucket, huh?” Swansea mumbled. “What a joke. And we’re the punchline.” Anya felt tears in her eyes and didn’t try to keep them in. She placed her hand to her mouth, voice muffled. “I don’t have any savings. The can’t do this.. there’s no way!” She sniffled.
“Pony Express was one of the last manned crew freighter companies. The writings been on the wall for a long time.” Swansea explained before Jimmy started getting upset, surprising nobody. “When did they tell you?” He demanded, his voice low.
“Earlier this week. I was instructed to wait until we’re closer to the haul destination, but I can’t keep something like this from you all.” Curly didn’t hesitate to reply, remaining calm as he spoke. You couldn’t say the same for Jimmy, though.
“So I guess you got what you wanted. Without the guilt.” He whispered, almost growling. “Jim.. if I had known-..” The captain gets cut off as the brunette continued. You watched carefully between the two men, not wanting it to escalate.
Suddenly, Jimmy went around the table, exposing everyone’s struggles. “Anya never got into medical school because she’s, well, let’s be real.” He trailed off before turning to Swansea. “And how many employment years Swansea got left in him?” He asked.
“Y/N’s only in this because they need the money for a new place to stay, so they’re screwed.” You glanced down at your empty plate, feeling tears prick out of the corner of your eyes. “Daisuke will be fine, mommy and daddy have him covered, so there’s that at least.”
Jimmy then stared at Curly, his eyes filled with hatred. “But you.. headed for bigger and better, right?” He asked. “I’m just.. I’m just working on my life being a place I don’t have to fucking escape!” He shouted, losing his patience. “That’s what I was trying to tell you, nothing m-..” Jimmy cut him off by slamming his hands down on the table.
“We’re the ones you’re trying to escape!” He yelled back, motioning to the five of you. “Leave the dirt behind now that your boots are clean.” You bit back a sob, not wanting them to yell anymore. You swallowed before breathing out through your mouth, your breath shaking with fear.
Daisuke seemed to have noticed because he took his eyes off of the two men arguing and glanced at you, eyes filled with worry. He placed his hand on your head before guiding you to lay down on his shoulder. The two of you stayed silent, letting them fight it out. “Let’s have some fucking cake, hm?” Jimmy muttered, leaning back into his chair and crossing his arms.
“Props to the twilight cruise of the Tulpar. Props to our captain and his new prospects.” He sarcastically said, sounding like he was about to lash out once again. Curly silently grabbed the knife and cut the first slice.
————
2 MONTHS AFTER THE CRASH
You laid beside Daisuke in your own medical sleeping bag, holding his hand. Your makeshift beds were placed next to each other, leaving no space between the two of you. Jimmy was next to you two as well, his sleeping bag not too far away.
It made you a little uneasy knowing that he’d be sleeping next to you, but it calmed you down when Daisuke offered to put his bed next to yours.
Your eyes were closed, but you weren’t asleep like he was. You heard Jimmy grumble and stand up before walking out of the lounge area. You shuffled a little and opened your eyes, scooting closer to Daisuke. You kept his hand in yours as you stared at his features.
You yawn, a strange croaking sound coming from your mouth. You chuckle silently to yourself, making sure to keep quiet for your boyfriend lying beside you. You made a risky decision to touch him, trailing your fingers against his cheek.
You felt as if you’ve fallen in love all over again. His peaceful face still filled with energy, his brunette hair as dark as caramel. You didn’t understand how he could ever pick someone like you to be his partner.
Suddenly, he stirred in his sleep, causing you to softly gasp. You take your hand away in fear of him awakening. As you did so, he frowned. He shifted closer to you, his eyes still shut as he wrapped his arms around your torso, his face smushed into your neck, breathing in your scent.
You gently embraced him, your lips to his forehead. Your lips kiss his temple before settling down. You felt your eyelids become heavy, feeling at peace. You didn’t fight it, making you fall asleep tangled in his arms, his in yours.
Just before you fell into a deep slumber, you heard the lounge door open once again. You felt eyes on the back of your head, and you couldn’t help but glance behind you. There stood Jimmy, a grim expression written on his face.
You didn’t say anything and lowered your head onto the thin pillow once again, supporting Daisuke’s head by resting your hand on his hair. You finally reached the edge of slumber, your body going limp as soft snores come from your mouth.
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authors note
suddenly feeling the urge to just kill off reader for angst.. yeahh I won’t though😭😭 I couldn’t do that to yall <33 (maybe someday.. but not now 🫶🏻)
anyways, I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter!! part 6 will be up soon<3
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undeadcourier · 9 months ago
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Ghouls are, put simply, humans suffering from advanced, prolonged radiation sickness and whose bodies have mutated such that gamma radiation extends their lifespan past natural limits.
The process of ghoulification is outlined in canon sources, but I wanted to make a guide that goes into more detail on the effects of radiation sickness in various cases, since the level and type of exposure significantly affects the outcome.
This is the first in what will be a series of posts exploring both real-life cases of radiation sickness and the sci-fi concept of ghoulification in some depth. Graphic descriptions of the physical deterioration of the body are included for informative purposes; reader discretion is advised.
For this first case study, I examine the effects on the human body of exposure to high levels of radiation in a short period of time, with a focus on the real case of Hisashi Ouchi.
On September 30, 1999, a lack of appropriate safety measures and the proper materials resulted in an accident that caused three workers at the nuclear power plant in Tōkai-mura, Japan, to suffer from severe radiation poisoning while purifying reactor fuel.
Point of Criticality
An uncontrolled fission reaction was produced when technicians poured nearly seven times the legal limit of uranium oxide into an improper vessel containing nitric acid. The men reported seeing a bright blue flash—indicative of Cherenkov radiation—when the mixture reached critical mass, flooding the room with radiation. The workers evacuated to the decontamination room, but already, the two who had been handling the reactive solution were overcome with intense pain from radiation burns, severe nausea, and difficulty breathing. Hisashi Ouchi, who suffered the highest level of exposure, also experienced rapid difficulties with mobility and coherence. Upon reaching the decontamination room, he vomited and fell unconscious.
~1 Hour Post-Exposure
Ouchi regained consciousness in the hospital about 70 minutes after the criticality accident, where doctors confirmed that he had been exposed to high doses of gamma, neutron, and other radiation.
The maximum allowable annual dose of radiation for nuclear technicians in Japan was 50 millisieverts. Exposure to more than 7 sieverts is considered fatal. Yutaka Yokokawa, the supervisor, had received 3 sieverts. The technicians who had been handling the uranium, Masato Shinohara and Hisashi Ouchi, received 10 sieverts and 17 sieverts, respectively.
~1 Day+ Post-Exposure
During the first few days in the ICU, Ouchi appeared to be in remarkably good condition, given the circumstances: the skin of his face and right hand was slightly red, as if by a sunburn, and swollen. His eyes were bloodshot, and he reported pain under his ear and right hand, which had received the most direct exposure, but he could speak normally, and he joked with the doctors and nurses attending to him.
6 Days Post-Exposure
Tests revealed that the high energy radiation that Ouchi had been exposed to had obliterated the chromosomes in his bone marrow. They were unrecognizable—some severed, some fused, all out of order. This damage meant that his body was unable to create new blood cells. The red blood cells that transport oxygen could not be replaced, and Ouchi's white blood cell count was near zero, leaving him extremely vulnerable to infection.
~1 Week+ Post-Exposure
Intensive treatments, including numerous skin grafts, blood and bone marrow transfusions, and revolutionary stem cell transplants were conducted in an attempt to stabilize Ouchi, but ultimately without lasting success.
The skin grafts couldn't hold; when medical tape was peeled from his skin, his skin came with it, and the marks left behind couldn't heal. Blisters like those of a burn appeared on his right hand.
Ouchi reported frequently that he was thirsty.
~10 Days Post-Exposure
By this point, Ouchi's oxygen levels were so low that even speaking required tremendous effort. Ouchi was placed on supplemental oxygen and required sedatives to be able to sleep.
2 Weeks+ Post-Exposure
Ouchi was no longer able to eat and required an IV. By day sixteen, most of the skin on the front side of his body had fallen off.
His low platelet count and lack of healthy skin meant that his blood and bodily fluids leaked through his damaged pores, resulting in unstable blood pressure.
Donor stem cells that were meant to allow his body to create new tissue were also destroyed by the radiation present in his body.
~1 Month Post-Exposure
On the 27th day following the accident, Ouchi suffered from intense diarrhea. The mucus layer of his large intestine had vanished, exposing the red submucosal layer beneath. His body could no longer disgest or absorb anything he ingested; even water was excreted as diarrhea.
The skin of Ouchi's right hand was almost entirely gone, leaving the surface of his hand raw and dark red. Blisters spread across his right arm and abdomen, then over his entire body. Gauze was required to replace his skin, and his fingers had to be individually wrapped to prevent them from sticking together. Without skin to keep him warm, Ouchi required an electrothermic device to maintain his body temperature while his bandages were changed—a daily procedure that took hours. Every time the gauze was removed, more of Ouchi's remaining skin went with it. His eyelids could not shut, and his eyes bled. His nails fell off.
Ouchi's right arm was necrotizing, leading to an increasing amount of myoglobin—a protein in muscle tissue—flowing in Ouchi's blood. Untreated, this could result in renal failure as the kidneys could not process the amount of myoglobin present.
Ouchi's body could not regenerate the platelets that form scabs, meaning the risk of hemorrhage was extreme.
By day 50, more than two liters of fluid seeped from Ouchi's damaged skin each day. The amount of fluid prevented skin grafts from adhering. Furthermore, he began to suffer from blood in his stool, and permeated blood seeped between his inflamed small and large intestines.
2 Months+ Post-Exposure
On the 59th day after the accident, Ouchi suffered the first of many heart attacks. His kidneys and liver were also failing. He no longer showed reactions to stimuli.
By day 63, Ouchi's macrophages—the immune cells that normally attack and consume bacteria and viruses—were attacking his own healthy blood cells.
After 67 days, Ouchi suffered internal hemorrhage. He bled from his mouth and intestines.
Ouchi would continue to suffer from heart attacks, as many as three in one hour. Each time, he was revived, but he suffered increasing brain damage, until multiple organ failure ended his life after 83 days in the hospital.
Ouchi's colleague Masato Shinohara underwent numerous successful skin grafts and a stem cell transfusion as well as radical cancer treatment, but he, too, died of multiple organ failure after seven months. Their supervisor, Yutaka Yokokawa, was treated for minor radiation sickness and was released from the hospital within three months of the accident.
This detailed chronology was referenced from the book A Slow Death: 83 Days of Radiation Sickness by Iwanami Shoten, translated by Maho Harada. My post, of course, focuses on Ouchi's physical condition in his final months, but it’s important to remember him not just as a victim or a patient. He was a loving husband and father whose sense of humor and resilience left an impression on everyone he came into contact with. The book is available in its entirety here and provides a moving, nuanced account of the incident and the efforts to save Ouchi's life.
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