#this is the pain i was telling you yesterday lmao

[pokenoire]

Continuing my post from yesterday to break down why Serena was disrespected by Ash in this scene

Because of the image limit and because the image limit has been reached

1

Still breaking down the whole situation of this sentence being disrespectful to all the help Serena offered him on the journey.

She was the one who lifted you up and gave you advice to get out of your shit when you were bad at the gym.

THAT'S what she gets? DAMN

They call my girl submissive the whole anime and when she can't handle Ash disrespecting her and yelling at her

THEY GO CRAZY LMAO

You can't just throw that PHRASE out there and expect no one to get mad about it

No one can yell at Ash or react

No one can hit him or call him out

No one can get mad at him over some triviality.

No one can get mad at him if they're a female character

If it's a man, you can

I'll tell you what it is, midnight...

Parallels, this scene is totally a situation from the first gym where Ash found trying to improve from a loss and in an attempt Serena calls him back to his best and to try again after hards loses (remembering that BW was a sequence of XY here)

"It's so disappointing to lose

I'm trembling, but,

My clenched fist loosens

I wipe the sweat on my jeans, so let's shake hands!

Isn't the flow of time mysterious?

"Do you remember who won?"

Now look!

I can laugh as I talk with you

"I forgot!" said while playing dumb

Those are my rivals' - Rivals' OP (OS)

The show is always talking about thanking her for everything she does for her friends in that sense and not just for him. The show does nothing to fix the flaws in Ash's optimism, only to reinforce it (not new, by the way).

"I have to go, I have to do it

I can't lose, I can't stop, not until the end

I'm not alone, I'm not lonely, still a way to go

This exciting adventure isn't over" - Challenger

have to go, I have to do it

I can't lose, I can't stop, at any time

I want to help, I want to protect you during painful times

I can't turn around, I can't lie down

I can't get depressed, I can't give up, I believe

I won't rush, I won't get confused

I always aim for that distant dream..." Challenger

But he's being unreasonable here, and Ash's depression is no excuse for him to throw away all the help he got from her

He makes up with Greninja,he talks to Pikachu,but he doesn't apologize for saying that to her

She blamed herself and said "I said horrible things" but so did hesame in his angry state and the show doesn't address it.

Even if you are angry, you can't just hurt people's feelings.

He thanked but did not apologize.

She helped you remember your own self, as the words themselves describe, they may not be talking about Serena herself, but they may have been used as inspiration for these scenes in her character.

That's what the Snowbelle arc is about, it's about Satoshi and Serena themselves. People say Ash is out of character here when everything says otherwise in his own characterization.

SHE STILL DOESN'T DESERVE WHAT HE SAID

💖🫶

Thank you for reading this again, anyway. The show builds Ash's character like this from the beginning and Serena's character has supported him through everything in the same way.

She deserves more recognition than just being called "submissive" that's pure misogyny really.

[loserboyfriendrjl]

A dimly lit street. The street lights are flickering, barely giving a little bit of light. The sky is riddled with clouds, not a star in sight, and it feels, making skin crawl, that it's going to rain, washing their sins away.

War is ugly. It’s rotten and filled with betrayal and death. They knew it all too well, even though they had been involved for so little time. People came and went, and never reappeared. People betrayed them, daggers through their backs and screams dying in the back of their throats. People were murdered, found in dark alleyways, grieving families, bodiless funerals.

It had started raining, over the course of their thoughts.

Remus was standing in front of Sirius, bloodied up and bruised, but still alive. They both looked horrible, Sirius knew it, but did it really matter when they saw each other again? Did it really matter, when lovers reunited, whether they were what they used to be or empty shells of their thoughts, of their memories, of their love?

In Sirius' arms, Remus felt at home.

snippet from if i died in your arms, would you hold me?

[there-will-be-a-way]

No sleep meds and quitting weed is a baaaad combination

[kiirschtein-archive]

⋆ 「 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢’𝐬 (𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞) 𝐦𝐨𝐦. 」 ⋆

feat. — toji fushiguro x f!reader, kid!megumi

word count. — 1.4k

content. — sfw, non-sorcerer au, established relationship (marriage), mostly just fluffy domestic stuff, reader is addressed as ‘mom/mama/mommy,’ toji’s kind of a bad parent but he’s working on it, brief mention of toji smoking (cigarettes), overprotective!toji, very minor suggestive themes (from toji 🙄 he’s a walking cw/tw)

notes. — idk. this has been incessantly on my brain pretty much from the moment i  woke up today, even to the point where i was writing half of this at  the laundromat lmao. mother’s day yesterday had me feeling some type of way, so here have some fun headcanons from a strange eldest daughter!!!! (i might end up doing a set of these for gojo x reader too 🤔)

⋆ 「 — he’s not your biological son, but you’ve been around since you started seeing toji when megumi was still a baby. but now, a few years later, you might as well be his real mother. you certainly act like it and feel like it, so toji gladly initiates the conversation about official adoption. it just makes sense. you eventually explain the situation to megumi as best as you can simply so that he doesn't grow up thinking he was lied to or anything of the sort, but as far as he's concerned, you're his mom whether it's by blood or not.

⋆ 「 — and oh, megumi’s a mama’s boy. i imagine he’s just a little bit of a healthier kid vs. canon given the better family situation, but he’s still always a bit of a grumpy baby, appreciating his autonomy and trying to be as self-sufficient and mature as he can be. but he’ll most certainly run to you when he needs help, is truly hurt, or just needing a bit of comfort. you’ve always treated him so softly and kindly with understanding, so he honestly feels more comfortable coming to you most of the time instead of his dad.

⋆ 「 — he likes the way you organize the bookshelf in his room or fold and sort his clothes in special little ways. he gets upset any time toji tries to put a book back in the wrong place or can’t figure out where his damn socks are. gumi will scowl and say, “that’s not where it goes.” or go deadpan and be like, “mom always keeps the socks in the bottom drawer.” disappointed that his father can’t even remember. toji just grumbles and says, “your mama’s gonna ruin you.”

⋆ 「 — has called you 'mom' basically since he was old enough, but don't let him fool you. megumi will drop the big boy act and come out with 'mama' or 'mommy' when something's wrong or he's really excited. he'll come to you with quiet tears and sniffles, a little ashamed that he's crying, but present to you a scraped elbow, "mama... it hurts." you clean up the scrape and explain to him the little medical details in a somewhat understandable way to help him focus on something besides the pain, and you tell him that it'll be okay, and that it's alright to cry. or on the flip-side, you and toji take him to the zoo, little gumi on his dad's shoulders, and he gasps and points excitedly, "look, mommy! look at the big elephant!" and it feels incredible to see him be so spirited.

⋆ 「 — along the lines of the art from this post and the thought i had about it earlier, just imagine that you're at some event (maybe like a birthday party or something), and toji's been hauling megumi around. they're both so over it at this point and are like 'please get me out of this' so as soon as toji walks past the obnoxious inflatable bouncy house, he smirks and just YEETS that kid inside without a second thought. after regaining his breath, megumi just looks at his father with the most EVIL little scowl as other kids bounce around him with smiles. by the look on that child's face you could've swore that his father had just done him the ultimate betrayal.

so gumi slides out and hurriedly makes his way over to where you're sitting off to the side, quietly climbing into your lap for a little bit of solace. he wiggles in close to your chest and you tuck him under your chin with a ‘come here, sweetpea,’ rocking slowly and humming something soft because he always seems to like it when you do.

toji comes over and you look at him through narrowed eyes. "kids are supposed to like shit like that," he says.

"you know he likes when things are more quiet," you respond, and toji rolls his eyes at how you seemingly spoil your son.

"just thought it might be good for him to try and get along with the other brats." toji tries to cover up the fact that he tossed his kid for the sheer personal enjoyment of it.

you huff in disbelief. "oh, like you get along so well with everyone?"

he scoffs and moves in behind you, leaning down to place a kiss on your neck. "i get along with you," he says almost suggestively.

you just keep stroking megumi's hair and give the top of his head a gentle kiss. "yeah, well not today," you say, shooting a smug, resolute smile towards your husband, ultimately taking his son's side.

⋆ 「 — outside of his alone time, megumi would honestly much rather be with you instead of other children. toji thinks it's probably unhealthy and you're inclined to agree, but you also don't want to force megumi into situations that will just make him miserable. so, when appropriate, you don't mind at all pacing around with him in your arms or have him walk next to you (maybe holding your hand if he’s not in a ‘big boy’ mood), teaching him about the things you see in the woods, the park, or even the museum. when toji's not away working, he'll join too because it admittedly makes his heart feel soft to watch you two together. it always has, because you've been doing this with megumi since he was a baby. it never gets old. if it wasn't already so difficult trying to figure out how to do things right by his son, he'd want you to give him even more babies.

⋆ 「 — megumi likes doing things with his dad sometimes too, though. toji tries his best to do it right and watch both his mouth and his temper. you like seeing them getting along, even if it's just quietly watching tv or a movie (probably a cartoon where toji gets kind of into and will ask the occasional question like "why does that one stupid chick keep doing that?" and megumi just shrugs like, "i dunno. she is pretty dumb.") or playing ball outside because gumi's starting to show some athleticism. but you have to remind toji that he can't always be so rough or competitive with games because megumi is literally a child.

⋆ 「 — toji can also be way too overprotective of you two at times. you'll be out and about and he'll just be wearing such an intimidating expression as he walks behind you both, on the lookout for anyone who might want to cause trouble or take the wrong sort of glance at his wife. he'll even snap at people for walking too close or like cutting in line or something petty, and you have to tell him stop acting like an attack dog and looking like the grim reaper because dear god you're literally just having lunch at the park. even at his age, megumi's just eating his ice cream and looking at his dad with his little baby deadpan expression and thinking "this man really needs to take a chill pill." other times he can be more relaxed, however, obviously confident in his ability to protect you. it depends on his mood. but that still doesn’t stop him from being embarrassing and going off on people in public if something happens.

⋆ 「 — you also know all of gumi’s favorite meals and snacks. it’s yet another one of those things where, if his dad does it wrong, megumi expresses a disappointment beyond his years. toji will be making and packing his son’s school lunch just as instructed by the notes you gave him, but it’s by no means as neat and meticulous as when you do it. toji’s got a cigarette hanging out of his mouth with furrowed, concentrating brows, his free hand shakily reaching for a cup of fresh coffee, and megumi’s standing there with his little backpack, criticizing his father the entire time. “mom doesn’t do it like that,” he says.

“well mom ain’t here right now. and it doesn’t matter how the sandwich is cut, is still tastes the damn same.”

gumi doesn’t even physically react, still wearing the same neutral expression, just waiting for his dad to hurry up. “mom says you shouldn’t smoke. and she also says not to use bad words.”

toji scoffs and then smirks. “well mommy uses all sorts of bad words you don’t even know about when her and daddy have play time.”

megumi’s already almost late for school and can barely feel his feet from how tight his dad tied his shoelaces. he also asks you later about “play time,” and you want to absolutely murder your husband over it.

[junityy]

🕸 — stay.

pairing. spider-man!jake x fem!reader genre. fluff, slight angst, slightly suggestive?? wc. 2k warnings. for context, this is the #infamous scene in the amazing spiderman 1 when peter shows up hurt at gwens window!! and yes im including the lizard LMAO and jake is kinda down Bad note. THIS TURNED OUT SO LONG.... and also NOT how i wanted but erm well.. spiderman jake is truly all i can think about so i hope you enjoy!!!

You were just finishing up your chemistry homework when Jake leaned against your window frame outside, and lightly knocked against your window. By now, this had become a routine-like thing, so you didn't even flinch.

The first time he did that, though, you felt slightly creeped out before letting him in regardless - because, after all, you do live on the 21st floor. The second time he did that, you started getting used to it. After all, your boyfriend just so turned out to be Spider-man. It was just something you'd get used to sooner rather than later.

Turning around and telling him, “Come in.”, you could already feel your lips form into a smile like that of a little kid's. Jake does as you said and opens the window, slowly climbing inside while you quickly save your homework document in the meantime.

“So, big guy, what was saving New York like today?” you joke before turning around to look at him. Though, once you see Jake holding onto your armchair for stability, your smile fades as quickly as it appeared and you get up when your eyes scan his body - three major scratches across his chest, along with other small wounds across his face (though these are a given by now). But also- scratches? No, it looks more like someone tried to slice him up with.. you don't even know what. Knives? This big? You can only imagine how he got these.

“Different, for sure.” he replies in a joking manner (even though there is no smile), and you can hear just a tiny bit of the pain he must be in in his voice.

“Jake?” you end up whispering as you walk towards him, and he simply lets himself fall onto your armchair before you sit down beside him.

“Seems that reptiles aren't my biggest fans.” he jokes; now smiling as he lets his head fall back while trying to catch his breath. In the meantime, you can't help but scan his wounds up close and - it's safe to say, someone (or something) possibly did try to slice him up from the looks of it.

“Reptiles?” you repeat, the confusion in your voice being very easy to identify; something Jake had already seen coming though, so that is far from surprising.

Before speaking up to elaborate further, he lifts his head again to look at you up close, then explains; “Remember that thing on the bridge yesterday? The thing that was ‘bigger’ than a human.. Well, turns out it's actually some kind of giant, mutant lizard. And it's living in the sewers, apparently.”

“A what?” raising your eyebrows in shock immediately, you can't help but blink in utter confusion a few times - at least before your eyes find their way back to his chest, and some dots start to connect by themselves. Well, his wounds make a little sense now at least. Still, neither of you could deny that ‘giant mutant lizard’ doesn't sound absolutely insane - so naturally, it takes you a second to process and.. imagine what that fight must've looked like just now.

“You're..” you frown; making eye contact with your boyfriend again after breaking it shortly. Jake on the other hand can't seem to even think about taking his eyes off of you. As per usual. “You're telling me you're fighting.. giant lizards?” you simply add. You're also certain that no matter how you would've worded this, it would sound equally just as crazy.

But, well.. your boyfriend IS Spider-man after all. So really, nothing should probably surprise you anymore. If you had to guess, things would, most likely, only get crazier from here on.

“Yeah. Well, they suck.” Jake scoffs, followed by another smile on his face, but he quickly groans in pain right after; your eyes still fixated on his wounds. It’s not like he'll die of them, so you try telling yourself to stop being so dramatic, but still.. it's a sight you'd rather not get too used to.

You hate seeing him like this. Usually, you're pretty used to seeing him with small or at least smaller wounds by now, but this? This is.. low-key crazy. You keep telling yourself that he is literally Spider-man, and that there's.. kinda no way to avoid getting hurt, yet all you hope for is to see him in one piece every single time. And it seems that the longer he keeps doing what he's doing, the chances of seeing him at all keep getting slimmer. Which is something that truly keeps you up at night, easily causing goosebumps all over your body.

“Hey.” Jake quietly says, simply to bring you back to reality once he notices you're lost in thoughts, and the next thing you feel is his hand on your cheek, softly cupping it.

Once you're actually back, you properly reconnect the eye contact you so love with him again. “What is it?” he questions not too long after, barely whispering while trying to read your expression. You, on the other hand, just remain silent; swallowing, before taking a sharp breath.

“Take this off, I'll take care of it.” pretty much avoiding the question, you point to his suit instead (or at least the upper part of it) - since, every time Jake has come here, you took care of him and his injuries. And today was gonna be no different.

While he makes sure the city is okay, you need to make sure he's okay. And vice versa, Jake has to make sure you're okay, by coming back to you every time like promised. New York could be safe for all he wants - only seeing your face every time makes him feel truly safe and sound.

And so again, he does as you say; moving to sit on the floor while leaning against your bed, he watches you do your little magic in silence. Silence, awe, admiration - it's all the same when it comes to you, really. He doesn't even deserve you, Jake thinks to himself. Like he does everyday.

Your ‘little magic’ though, simply includes disinfecting his wounds first; a process the both of you have gotten used to by now.

Once he's rolled down his suit a little, you begin to carefully pat his chest with the tissue again and again, so careful as if he'd break if you made one wrong move. Which.. seems sort of funny. You're patching up the Spider-man after all.

Jake, in the meantime, can't seem to take his eyes off of you again, so he simply doesn't. Instead, he watches your every move like his life depends on it. The look in your eyes has changed. You've gone quiet. Like, awfully quiet.

“Y/N.” he tries again after just a moment - after you clearly avoided his question the first time. When you look up just the tiniest bit, you're immediately met with his eyes on you already in no time. Oh. His eyes. “What is it?” he repeats, hoping to get you to talk this time.

Looking at him, it takes you a few moments to even form a somewhat coherent thought. Sometimes you wish you could just stop time and stay like this. With him, here. Forever.

Sure, being Spider-man's girlfriend had its perks - like Jake taking you with him to swing around New York together. Surely.. an original experience! But it also meant praying he'd come home to you every time there was trouble in the city.

“I'm just scared for you, is all.” you sigh quietly, tilting your head a tiny bit. For just a moment, silence enters, and it feels like you're falling in love with him all over again. You're just glad he's here.

“You won't lose me.” Jake assures you in the softest tone possible and immediately brings his hand back to your cheek, only to bring your face closer to his. Close enough to place a kiss on your lips, a reassuring one. A kiss that, as you both know, says something words wish they could truly encapsulate. Breaking the kiss for a short, simple “I promise.”, he immediately reconnects your lips again like he'd suffocate if he didn't.

What starts as a lovely, reassuring kiss, quickly seems to turn into something much more intimate when you feel Jake rest his other hand on your waist only to pull you as close as possible; to feel your body right against his.

Spider-man might have impressive healing abilities that are above those of the average person, but Jake felt as if having you near him was already enough healing.

“I love you.” he breathes into the kiss, and quickly tries to catch his breath when you do the same for a second. Your faces still dangerously close, all you seem to be able to get out is a “I love you too.” that sounds very out of breath, like you were the one fighting a giant mutant lizard just before.

Bringing your hand up to rest on the side of his neck, Jake can't help but sigh when he backs off a tiny bit, only so he can get a good look at you. God, you're beautiful he thinks to himself. Basically looking at you the same way he did when he first told you he loved you, he automatically moves the few strands of hair out of your face; tucking them behind your ear, while his eyes simply shine with admiration. But mostly love.

“I just love you, Y/N.” your boyfriend repeats while shaking his head slightly, and sounding completely hopeless as if he just accepted that he is, indeed, hopelessly in love with you. Though, that was more or less the case anyway.. it still is, actually. Watching his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips, Jake speaks up again in a low voice, “You won't lose me.”. However this time, it's a promise rather than a reassurance.

Your eyes lighting up with pure love at his words and the look in his eyes, you can't seem to hide the way your lips are forming into another tiny smile - so you decide to just let them speak by placing them on his once again.

It's like your lips were perfectly made for each other, especially when Jake tilts his head a tiny bit more to deepen the kiss - his hand still on your neck, and if it were to go after him, he'd never remove it again. It's like you were perfectly made for each other.

“Jake.” you mumble into the kiss, yet keep it going because his lips feel a little too good moving against yours. Although you don't wanna let go, you (sadly) do end up breaking the kiss - which causes Jake to immediately look at you as you're gathering your thoughts one by one.

“I need to ask you a favour. It'll sound really selfish, though.” you begin quietly, only to receive a promising nod from his side, waiting for you to continue curiously while his eyes go back and forth between your eyes and lips again. Swallowing, you carefully ask, “You know I love that you're Spider-man, but can you just be Jake for tonight and stay?” Yeah, you were right about it sounding kinda selfish. Jesus.

But, like, it's true, and you couldn't really figure out a better way to word it. I mean, obviously you love that he's Spider-man - literally who wouldn't? But it's true that you love Jake Sim more. Even if just a tiny bit, which is why you want, - or need, actually - him with you tonight. Just Jake. Just the two of you.

“It doesn't sound selfish.” is the first thing he says in response, slightly shaking his head for further assurance. You're not only glad about it, but you feel your heartbeat increase rapidly when you see yet another smile form on his face, which (thank god), he doesn't even try to hide as it's getting too big. “Actually,” he lightly scoffs, biting on his lip as you watch him do so (it drives you nuts every time).

“I was hoping you'd say that, princess.” is the last thing he says before pulling you in for a kiss much, much more intimate than the ones before.

taglist @tyunni @geombyu @jaeyunverse @yjwfav @sieuneo @beombisou @neos127

[worldlxvlys]

ANNA. GIRL. I HAVE THE BEST IDEA EVER.

ok, so I was just listening to one of the girls by the Weeknd and I need the filthiest, most pantie soaking, mouth watering, sheet gripping smut about chris based off that song. only if you want though LMAO. also probably really unpopular opinion but chris is most DEFINITELY the dominant one during sex. anyway love you pretty girl!!

one of the girls

fwb! chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: smuttttt, semi-public sex, roughhhh sex, choking, slapping, spitting, degradation, dumbification, p in v, cream pie, unprotected sex, squirting, fingering, overstimulation, humiliation, recording, cursing

a/n: have your holy water on standby y’all

lock me up and throw away the key

he knows how to get the best of me

chris and i’s friendship was anything but normal. to some, it may even be perceived as toxic.

but me? i loved it.

i trusted him enough to do whatever he wanted to me, no matter how extreme.

tell nobody i control you

i broke you just to own you

they can’t tell that i love you

‘cause you’re loyal, baby

he was possessive, but it was hot. we weren’t actually together, but by the way he acted when other guys approached me, you would think we were.

he didn’t want to see me with anyone other than him, and i felt the exact same.

nobody else made me feel the way he did, anyway.

nobody else understood how to test my limits without going overboard.

i love when you’re submissive

love it when i break skin

you feel pain without flinching

i allow him to do whatever he wants to, and in return he he gives me a perfect mix of pleasure and pain.

he constantly pushes me to my limits, it’s almost gratifying to know that i can handle more than i think.

though my masochistic ways can be alarming to some, chris understands. he never judges or questions the things that bring me pleasure.

all it takes is a simple, “i need a distraction” and he has me pushed up against the door, his hand wrapped around my neck.

his fingers wrap around my throat, constricting my airway enough to stop my breathing.

he waits until i look like i’m about to pass out to loosen his grip.

we don’t gotta be in love, no

i don’t gotta be the one, no

i just wanna be one of your girls tonight

it doesn’t matter who he fucked yesterday, or who he’s seeing tomorrow. all that matters is right now.

and right now, we’re at a party, where he has me bent over a chair on the host’s back porch.

“you forget who the fuck you belong to? letting him undress you with his eyes like that?” he struck my ass with the palm of his hand over and over, making me cry out.

“how do you think he’d feel knowing that i’m fucking you on his porch?” he asked as he thrusted into me roughly, pushing my hips into the wooden chair harshly with every movement.

i moaned uncontrollably, gripping onto the chair for dear life as he pounded into me.

deciding to play with him, i looked back at him and spoke, “bet he could fuck me better than you ever will”

we both knew it wasn’t true, but chris stopped his movements immediately, making me whine out.

“think we should go find him? let him watch me fuck your brains out?” he asked as he pulled me to stand up.

“no, chris! please, just-” he cut me off by smacking my ass.

suddenly, he spotted a camera that was aimed at a short table in the middle of the porch.

“hmm, looks like he keeps his home secure, baby. you think he gets alerts when there’s movement on his porch?” chris raised his eyebrows at me, pushing me to the table that the camera was aimed at.

“he’s gonna watch this back and see you get fucked like the dirty little cockwhore you are" he rasped into my ear as he placed me onto the low table on my hands and knees.

he held my arms behind my back as he began to fuck me from behind again.

a cool breeze filled the air, making my nipples hard and sending a shiver down my spine.

he gripped my jaw harshly, turning my face to look at him, “open” he spoke.

when i opened my mouth, he gathered his saliva in his mouth before spitting into mine.

i immediately swallowed, making him slap my cheek lightly.

“now look at the camera” he said as he gripped my jaw, angling it so i was looking straight into the camera.

he pushed my body down, holding my shoulder down as his cock continued to stretch out my tight walls.

“you better make a fucking mess all over this table, make sure he knows how good i made you feel” his mouth found its way to my neck, biting at the skin roughly.

“f-fuck, chris” i moaned as his fingers brushed my hard nipples, before squeezing them firmly.

he suddenly grabbed my throat with his hand, pulling me closer to him.

my eyes rolled into the back of my head at the feeling of his hand squeezing around my throat.

he circled my clit with his free hand, and my head fell back onto his shoulder in response.

“such a fucking slut, you love being fucked out here in the open, huh?”

“good, good, so fucking good, holy shit” all i could do was chant those words, not being able to concentrate on chris’s words.

“look at you, going dumb for my cock” he spoke as he continued to fuck his hips into mine.

i mumbled a string of incoherent curses in response, grabbing his bicep as i felt my orgasm approaching.

“you gonna cum?” he asked as he felt me clench around him.

“yes, yes, yes, yes” i chanted as my eyes rolled back and i released on his cock.

“fuck, gonna fill this pretty pussy up” he groaned before he did exactly that, shooting his seed deep inside of my walls.

he pulled out, quickly replacing his dick with two fingers.

“chris!” i moaned in surprise as he fucked his fingers into me.

“wanna see you squirt all over this fucking table” he growled into my ear.

his fingers moved so quickly inside of me, i could barely keep up.

i reached down to move his hand, but he wasn’t having it.

he pushed me forward, pressing my face into the table.

“it feel good? you like being fingered out here where anyone could see?” he asked as he added another finger.

“yes, yes, oh my god” i cried out as i felt another orgasm coming.

“yeah? then fucking take it” he said.

“chris! i’m cumming!” i yelled as my body shook violently on the table.

“oh my god” i yelled as my juices shot out of me.

“i know you have more, ma. give it to me”

he continued to move his fingers inside of me, watching as the liquid continued to pour out of me, making me scream.

“fuck” i breathed out when his fingers stopped , allowing me to catch my breath.

chris helped me off of the table, helping me to fix my dress so i was covered again before fixing himself up.

he left for a second, coming back with paper towels to clean up our mess.

“hey, you good to get home by yourself? i got something to do” he said, looking down at his phone.

more like someone to do.

“yeah, go. have fun”

with that, he kissed my cheek and left.

we don’t gotta be in love, no

i don’t gotta be the one, no

i just wanna be one of your girls tonight

💋💋💋💋

masterlist

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[koqabear]

chulo

♫: Chulo Pt. 2, Bad Gyal

"Your hermit of a roommate finally decides that he’s had enough of your attitude. And of your constant assumptions that he’s never felt the touch of a woman. "

taehyun x fem!reader

Genre: pwp, roommates au, smut, enemies to lovers if you squint, ft. wingman jjun 

Word count 11.4K

warnings: barely edited and barely any plot mwah, use of drugs (weed) and alcohol; mentions of the mc getting drunk (not during any of the smut), jealousy

smut warnings: sub!mc, mean dom!tyun, strength kink !! bratty mc and brat tamer tyun, high sex, shotgunning, degradation, praise, pain kink, spanking, hair pulling, thigh riding, begging, pet names/name calling (slut, baby, princess, pretty/good girl, etc.) manhandling, brief choking, mentions of safeword (it’s not used though), brief marking, biting, oral, (f. rec), face sitting, tyun is a literal pussy fiend. fingering, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, tyun is thick and big yawnnn what else is new, dumbification maybe, slight humiliation (kink? maybe.),breast play, scratching, possessiveness, creampie (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

(lmk if i should add anything lmao)

Notes: just leaving this here to remind u guys that i am the least sane solomon on this app. i actually only wrote this for myself but congrats u all get to read it too. say thank youuu! 

Taehyun was, for lack of a better word, a total goody-two-shoes; always holed up in his room studying, the only times he ever left home being for work, school, or to go run an errand. He was also your beloved roommate. 

It was meant to be, really; jumping blindly at the offer your mutual friend Yeonjun offhandedly mentioned, commenting about how his friend was struggling to find someone in order to split rent— “his old roommate moved out, now he’s going broke trying to afford the place on his own.” 

And you, in all your bright-eyed and enthusiastic glory, didn’t hesitate to ask for details; one long interrogation later, and you found yourself getting interviewed by the man himself— how you were able to snatch the title of Taehyun’s new roommate is something you’re still unsure of. 

Because as far as you’re aware, the two of you couldn’t be any more different.

“You’re going out again?” you hear Taehyun call out from the kitchen, the said man able to hear you approaching from the hallway from the jingling of your jewelry— something he was always on your ass for, never failing to comment how you’re like a walking tambourine with that stupid quirk to his lips— the sound of his voice teeming with judgment only brought about a roll of your eyes, trudging over to the kitchen to send him a harsh glare; you made a point of placing your bangle clad wrists on your hips, the action bringing about another soft jingling. 

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, raising a brow expectantly; Taehyun seems unfazed by your sudden confrontation, not a single muscle twitching at your accusatory tone— his back remains turned to you, leaning on the kitchen counter leisurely while he scrolls on his phone— at the sound of your persistent hmm? He peeks over his shoulder to meet eyes with you. 

“You were out till three yesterday,” he says nonchalantly, only turning so he can properly look at you whilst keeping an eye on the stove, “Is partying all you do?”

You can tell he’s trying to provoke you— but you know better than to fall for it and get angry, already victim to his constant mocking and teasing to realize that he seems to enjoy getting a rise out of you— so you simply roll your eyes and scoff, crossing your arms over your chest before you’re turning on your heel and beelining back to the door. 

“You know damn well…” you mutter to yourself, sneering at the chuckles you’re able to pick up on, “It’s none of your business anyway!” 

“Yeah, it kinda is!” Taehyun retorts, but you’re too busy slipping on your shoes and your jacket to voice out a rebuttal— swinging your purse over your shoulder, you’re able to catch his final comment right as you’re slipping out the door; “I’m not making the hangover soup again!” 

“Fuck you and your soup!” 

You shut the door behind you before Taehyun can get a word out. 

   ☆☆☆

“How are you two still living together?” 

The natural light that streams in through the windows and the sound of Yeonjun’s raspy voice is enough to have you wincing with pain and ducking your head down; hot steam from your bowl soothes your skin and puffy eyes, your body still sore from the night before as you sink into the chair with a tired sigh. 

“Because as insufferable as she is, she still pays her share of the rent,” Taehyun mutters bitterly, setting down a second bowl of soup before your mutual friend, pulling out the chair across from your as he goes to sit with crossed arms, “aren’t you gonna eat? You were begging me for this earlier.” Your lips automatically go to form a scowl, but your hand still goes to reach for your spoon— because as much as you hated feeding into Taehyun’s big fat ego, you couldn’t deny that he makes some killer hangover soup; you could already feel the tension easing from your muscles from the first bite—- your eyes remained glued to the table, knowing better than to glance back up and catch the stupid triumphant look Taehyun never bothers to hide. 

“Fucking insufferable,” you mumble between bites, glancing at the way Yeonjun seems to catch onto your words, shoulder shaking with the soft laugh he huffs out. 

“Me?” Taehyun gawks, leaning forward as though to make sure he was hearing things right; neither of you respond, which only serves to make him more irked.

“As far as I’m aware, I’m the one that has to deal with you— always coming back late and drunk as hell—” Taehyun’s pointed glare jumps over to Yeonjun, who simply flinches and averts his gaze down to the table, “you said you’d be watching over her last night.”

“I’m not a baby,” you butt in, ignoring Taehyun’s look of disbelief, “I don’t need a babysitter.”

“And yet you’re always asking me to take care of you.” 

You shrug dismissively, the last bit of your energy spent as you find yourself no longer interested in arguing; staring down at your bowl, you found that you were so busy trying to ignore Taehyun’s piercing glare that you ended up scarfing down your soup in a haste— standing abruptly, you go to place your dishes in the dishwasher before you’re spinning around and sending Taehyun a bright, innocent smile. 

“It’s not my fault you always jump to come help me out,” you coo, wincing at the soreness of your body and the sharp ache in your head as you make your way over to him, cupping his face and squeezing his cheeks together, leaning in close to him even as he begins to fuss and swat at your hands angrily, “and you’re just soooo caring and sweet with me— it’s in your nature, don’t lie.” 

“It gets tiring listening to you complain around the house,” Taehyun sneers grabbing your wrists firmly and pulling your hands off his face swiftly— the sudden strength catches you off guard, hands falling dumbly at your sides as you can only stare at Taehyun as he continues, cold and aloof as always, “It’s the only way I can get you to shut up.”

“Sureee… sure,” you mumble offhandedly, clearly unimpressed by his excuse as you saunter off to the living room instead, making yourself comfortable on the couch before you’re yelling back to the kitchen one last time. 

“Jjunie,” you call, waiting for the muffled hmm? of the said man before you continue, “are we still down for the part next Saturday? Jake’s place?”

“Oh… uhhhm,” he pauses, and you’re sure Taehyun is probably sending him a deadly glare right now, “sure, if you want to.” 

“Of course I want to,” you grin, pulling out your phone to look up Jake’s instagram page, scrolling through his feed to get a refresher of what he looks like, the satisfaction of what you see seeping into your voice as you speak, “Partying’s all I do.”

You swear you hear a scoff; it only serves to make you anticipate the weekend a little more. 

   ☆☆☆

“You’re leaving like that?” 

Your body is jolting in surprise, the mascara wand in your hand clattering on your desk as you curse in shock— Taehyun stands in your now opened doorway, unable to sense his presence due to the focus you were putting in to make sure your makeup came out perfect— meeting his gaze through the mirror, you frown, nose scrunching in distaste at the way he clearly judges you; your hand reaches for your phone, turning down the music you were playing in order to actually hear him properly. 

“Don’t you know how to knock?” 

“I tried. I’ve been trying. For the past three minutes,” Taehyun says, ignoring your complaints as he makes his way into your room, coming up behind you as he scans your setup— he ignores the way you continue to glare at him harshly, eyes running slowly over the mess you’ve made before he’s leaning down and reaching across the vanity; you’re pressed back against the chair and left to watch as his arm obscures your vision, hoping he didn’t pick up on the way your eyes glued onto his muscles that bulged slightly as he reached for the charger plugged into the far outlet. 

“You never gave this back,” Taehyun sighs, and before you can refute that you were just about to, he gives you a pointed look with that raised brow of his. “It’s been three days.”

“My bad,” is all you can bring yourself to say, picking up your mascara wand again as you go back to applying your makeup carefully— but it’s hard to concentrate, especially with the way Taehyun continues to linger behind you, able to feel his warmth due to how close he is— and you glance over your shoulder, scanning him up and down before you’re turning back to your vanity, “is there something else I can help you with?” 

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“What, the whole why are you dressed like that thing? Are you seriously expecting an answer to that?” you ask, putting your mascara away as you move to your lips instead, “It’s nothing new, I don’t know why you’re so fixated on that right now.”

“Nothing new?” Taehyun repeats, and through the reflection of the mirror, you’re able to catch the way he frowns in disbelief and scans you once more. “You never dress like this for house parties.” 

“Hmm,” you hum softly, doing your final touch ups before you’re standing abruptly, spinning around to face Taehyun with a pout, “it’s the skirt right? It’s throwing the whole thing off.” 

Taehyun watches as you push past him and head straight to your closet; glancing over your shoulder and nodding at him to sit on your bed, turning back around before you can catch the way he hesitantly follows your command— and you’re turning back around with three more garments in your hand, each option smaller than the one before— the sight has his brows jumping briefly. 

“I was thinking this one at first— I think the darker denim is cuter though, like this one,” you press each skirt to your waist, peeking at yourself in your body length mirror before you switch to the next option; again, you’re pouting and shaking your head, throwing the first two options aside before you’re turning around to show Taehyun the last option proudly. 

“But actually, I think this one is the one— look at the pockets, they’re sooo cute,” you smile, flipping the garment over to show him— and indeed, they’re blinged out and sparkly, just like the rest of you; you hold it against your waist, checking yourself out in the mirror with satisfaction. 

“That— that barely covers you.”

“So?” you effortlessly reply, tilting your head and meeting Taehyun’s gaze through the mirror; dramatically, you gasp, mouth falling open and brows rising as you proceed to blatantly mock him, “Oh, is this too scandalous for you? Sorry, I forget you’re a bit more… reserved. It’s okay, you don’t have to stay in here if it makes you uncomfortable.”

You’re biting your tongue as you listen to Taehyun sputter behind you in confusion; through the corner of your eye, you’re able to watch as his brows knit together, leaning forward and tilting his head as he struggles to find a response. 

“Where the hell did you get that from?”

“Oh,” you trail off, tsking awkwardly and amping up your dramatics as you pause— Looking over your shoulder, you meet Taehyun’s prying gaze, returning it with a faux apologetic smile. “Y’knoww… Yeonjun told me. About you.”

If anything, that only serves to confuse Taehyun even more— and worry him, if the way he stares off into space, visibly deep in thought, serves as any indicator. 

“What did he tell you,” Taehyun mutters, the question more directed to himself as he racks his mind for possible answers— but you beat him to it, continuing your efforts to keep a poker face as you shrug innocently. 

“Just… about you. Relationships, experience…” and you’re turning your back to him, muttering the last part and taking in the way Taehyun leans forward even more to catch what slips out your mouth, “or, lack thereof.” 

“Excuse me?” 

“We were talking about our own stuff and you kinda just came up in the conversation randomly!” you say defensively, “It’s nothing to be ashamed of! It’s okay to shy away from… this lifestyle, or whatever you like to call it— there’s nothing wrong with being your little introverted self, tyunnie.” 

You’re provoking him— you’re setting up quite the bait, and it’s working, because Taehyun can only find himself able to gawk at you in disbelief, mouth parted slightly in wonder of it all— your cute nickname flies over his head in favor of processing the fact that you basically just called him a homebody. A virgin. 

Just when Taehyun thinks he’s found the words to respond to such an outlandish accusation, your phone dings with a notification— you’re all but bouncing over to it excitedly, hovering over the device and letting out a soft ah! In excitement— sending Taehyun a pleading smile, he’s already able to guess what you’ll ask of him. 

“Junie’s here! Can you please please please go answer the door for me? I need to change.” you watch Taehyun hesitate for a moment; he then nods reluctantly, getting up slowly before he trudges out of your room, your words still bouncing around the walls of his mind as you shut the door and yell out a cute thank you! As you do. 

Taehyun opens the front door to find an equally flashy Yeonjun on the other side— the sight of his over the top outfit is enough to catch Taehyun off guard and have all his thoughts tumbling out of his mouth without restraint. 

“Did you tell her I was a virgin?”

Yeonjun’s brows jump up in disbelief— he’s halting mid step through the doorway, sending Taehyun a confused look before he steps inside and closes the door behind him— looking at his friend for further explanation, Yeonjun is only met with Taehyun crossing his arms with an expectant look. 

“Dude. What the hell are you on about.”

“Why is ___ acting like I’m a total prude— saying you told her I was inexperienced,” Taehyun isn’t exactly sure why tonight’s comment was what set him off— you’ve been like this for as long as he could remember, always portraying Taehyun as someone pure, innocent, and stuck-up— he always thought you were joking, but as it turns out, that might not be the case. 

“Oh— she’s probably not being serious, don’t worry,” Yeonjun shrugs, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets, craning his neck to try and get a glance down the hallway, seeing if you’re finally ready— you’re nowhere to be seen, and Yeonjun sighs impatiently.

“Okay, but what did you say to her?” Taehyun presses on, eyes narrowing at the sight of Yeonjun pressing his lips together hesitantly, “Yeonjun.”

“I just said that it’s… rare to ever see you get interested in anyone,” Yeonjun pouts, but Taehyun can tell that’s not the full truth— Yeonjun caves in after a moment, gulping softly and lowering his voice to nothing but a murmur, “and that she should stop flirting with you, cause you wouldn’t even know how to handle all that.”

“You what?!”

“Yeonjunnie, what do you think?” your voice is sweet and lilted as you finally come out of your room, interrupting Taehyun’s heated outburst with your jingling jewelry— the two men are turning over to you, Taehyun too busy taking in your appearance to notice Yeonjun sighing in relief at your well-timed interruption. 

“So?” you ask, doing a cute spin that has Taehyun’s eyes widening and his hands clenching— yeah, that skirt was practically a belt, your pretty skin lotioned up and shining under the lights, the spin only allowing him to get a perfect whiff of your addicting scent, “Y’think I can get Jake’s attention with this?”

The name has Taehyun frowning before he can even process it— behind him, Yeonjun whistles at your dolled-up self, doing a once over as he proceeds to hype you up. 

“Are you kidding? I’m gonna have to fend you off from everyone in that place,” he says, reaching out for your hand and grinning at the way you giggle and take it, your fingers interlacing naturally, “he’s gonna be all over you.” 

“Jake? You can’t actually be attracted to that douchebag,” Taehyun frowns, watching the way your expression immediately drops at his comment.

“I am, actually. It’s nothing serious, just a hook up at most,” you roll your eyes, voice turning undeniably bitter as you bend down to slip on your shoes, the sight of your panties peeking out from the skirt, tucked neatly between your thighs not lost on Taehyun, “Plus, I heard he really knows how to treat a woman.”

Taehyun’s gaze snaps up to meet Yeonjun’s; his glare is lethal enough to kill, and the recipient can only shrug sheepishly in return. 

“Sleep well Taehyun,” you remark, clearly poking fun at the fact that Taehyun usually sleeps much earlier than you, never failing to call him a grandpa for it, (which is ridiculous, considering that you barely sleep.) “You don’t have to worry about me— probably won’t be home tonight.”

You’re closing the door and dragging Yeonjun with you before Taehyun can respond, probably off to pregame outside while you wait for your uber; he’s left staring at the spot you just stood at, jaw clenched and eyes narrowed in anger— a minute goes by, and something decidedly shifts within Taehyun. 

He’s gotta do something about this image you have of him. He should probably fix that attitude of yours too, while he’s at it. 

   ☆☆☆

“Where the hell is he?” it’s something you seem to have asked for the umpteenth time tonight, leaning against the wall and pouting at your friend while you stand in line for the bathroom— you’ve been at the party for a solid hour now, and you still have yet to see Jake around. And to think, he was the one who invited you to his place in the first place. How rude. 

“I told you not to give him a chance!” Yeonjun yells, leaning in closer so you can actually hear him through the booming music and the crowds of people singing along to whatever’s blasting from the living room, “this party fucking sucks, too.”

You can only exaggerate your pout further with a petulant humph. Your body slouches and you can already feel your heart getting heavy with disappointment, unable to refute the way your best friend proceeds to mutter something about Jake probably being too busy sucking off another girl’s face in a random room of the house. 

“You never gave in to his advances— you said he was a man-whore,” Yeonjun continues to recall, wincing at the sight of two random girls rushing past him and to the front of the line, carrying their clearly shit-faced friend and screaming about how she’s going to throw up all over— the two of you cringe, exchanging a glance and mutually agreeing that you two can hold it a little more; you slowly trudge your way back to where everyone else is. “What changed? Why’d you give in?” 

You scoff, lips upturned with distaste as you send your friend a glare— the wound still as fresh as ever, voice dripping with venom as you lean close to Yeonjun’s ear so he can actually hear you. 

“Junnie, you know why!” you whine, smacking his shoulder and ignoring the way he childishly yelps, “I’ve officially decided to move on— I can’t stand flirting with a brick wall anymore, I need to… need to…” 

You’re trailing off, gaze wandering off to a foreign point, Yeonjun’s brows furrowing before he begins to follow your line of sight— and just like you, Yeonjun remains speechless, the unexpected sight leaving your jaws gaping. 

“This can’t be real.” 

But it is. The way Taehyun is currently leaning casually against the wall, drink in hand and coy smile on his face as he talks to some random girl, is very real. You can recognize that man anywhere— even in this crowded room of dancing and jumping bodies, your eyes still remain glued to him. 

But, the more you look at him, the more you realize something— he looks… different. It’s subtle, but it’s still there; the mischievous glint in his eyes, his relaxed posture and the hair that falls into his eyes, he has a confident, sly air to him you’ve never seen before— the girl leans up on her tippy-toes to whisper something in his ear, a hand on his shoulder to get stabilized, and the two laugh; your mind is too preoccupied with the way her hand lingers, the way Taehyun tilts his head in amusement, to realize the frown that has pulled your face together. 

Taehyun brings the can of beer in his hand to his lips— he turns his head, and his eyes find yours effortlessly. 

“He actually came,” Yeonjun awes beside you, and that’s enough to have your head whipping toward him, trying to ignore the way your face burns at the sudden eye contact, still able to feel his eyes linger on you for a moment after. 

“What are you talking about? Did you give him the address?” you say, your voice whiny as you speak, surprised to find that you’re not exactly sure how to feel at his sudden appearance— torn between the sudden interest he piqued within you and the disappointment that festeres in your stomach, knowing that now that Taehyun is here, you won’t think twice to give anyone else any attention. 

“Hmm? No, he was invited,” Yeonjun says, glancing back to where Taehyun is, looking back to find your confused expression, “him and Jake go way back.”

You’re kidding. 

“Nope. Those two were fucking menaces,” Yeonjun laughs— it seems as though the words must’ve slipped out of your mouth, the shock painted on your face more amusing to your friend than anything, “they used to host the craziest parties— now that I think about it though, that was probably all Taehyun’s work.”

“Wait… don’t tell me that…” you glance over to where Taehyun remains, then glance back at Yeonjun, reading his expression carefully and gasping, “was Jake Taehyun’s old roommate?”

Yeonjun nods, as though the news wasn’t earth-shattering to you. 

“After a while, I guess Taehyun just didn’t feel like keeping up with the fast life… I don’t blame him though.” Yeonjun shrugs, his eyes beginning to drift behind you, drawing you to turn around at the sound of the crowd on the dance floor cheering and yelling obnoxiously— and sure enough, Jake can be seen in the middle of a circle, flashlights of phone cameras recording lighting him up clear as day— you wince at the sight of a random girl dancing up on him, the sight leaving you to shudder and wonder why you were even gonna give him the time of day.

Ah, right.

“I can’t believe I was about to rebound on him with an old friend,” you breathe out, bristling at the sound of Yeonjun’s laughter, whipping your head around to send him a harsh glare, “and you were going to let me!” 

Yeonjun raises his hands up defensively. 

“Hey, I was just being a good friend,” he says, but with the way he smiles mischievously, you don’t buy it a bit. “I support women’s wrongs, or whatever.” 

“You prick,” you mutter miserably, gaze inevitably wandering back to where Taehyun remains; frowning at them now being visibly closer, Taehyun’s hand resting leisurely on the girl’s waist as they talk. 

And again, his eyes flicker back to meet yours.

“You know, he’s only here for you,” Yeonjun murmurs in your ear, watching your interactions like a spectacle, “he doesn’t care about that girl— probably just trying to get you jealous.”

“Stop lying,” you say, but your voice is weak and your brain is susceptible to his words; you tell him to shut up, but the way you perk up with interest is saying otherwise. 

“If I’m lying, then why is he giving you fuck me eyes?” 

As if on queue, Taehyun glances back again— his gaze is dark and inviting, scanning you slowly before he turns back to the unknown girl— and his eyes soften; they’re less intense, aloof, clearly uninterested. The final piece of your resolve crumbles to pieces.

“I think I’m about to do something stupid,” you say sheepishly, eyes still glued on the man across the room; beside you, Yeonjun chuckles.

“Do it,” he says, giving your back an encouraging push, sending you stumbling forward, “I support it.”

You don’t bother looking back at your friend for one last word of reassurance— your feet have begun to take you before you could even stop and think. 

You’re pushing through bodies; it’s crowded and hot and sweaty, cringing and jumping at the feeling of hands brushing against your bare skin— whether it be intentional or not, you try not to dwell on it, honed in on your goal instead.

It takes a moment for you to finally find yourself on the other side of the crowd— but you’ve lost Taehyun, eyes darting back to where he was just a second ago, frowning and scanning the area for the familiar man— he’s nowhere to be found. 

You’ve begun to wander around— exploring the layout carefully, eventually abandoning the living room and making your way into the kitchen instead— and like before, you’re unable to find Taehyun, growing increasingly frustrated the longer it takes to find him; it isn’t until you’re making your way to the back porch that you finally spot a familiar, broad frame leaning against the railing. 

“Taehyun,” you call out, the said man not flinching at the sound of his name; his back remains turned to you, but he listens to the sound of your nearing footsteps and your jingling jewelry, the scent of your perfume following soon after; you’re standing behind him, hands undoubtedly on your hips and a pout on your face as you speak. “What are you doing here?” 

He huffs out a soft chuckle— his relaxed, slouched posture only serves to annoy you, going to stand next to him so you can get a good look at his face— you try to hide the shock that’s blooming on your face, but then again, you’ve never been good at hiding your emotions. 

Taehyun cracks a small, lopsided smile; your eyes are wide and you seem like a deer caught in headlights, watching with fascination as Taehyun continues his attempts to light up the joint caught in his lips— your mouth is falling open to say something, but you’re closing it immediately after; this proceeds to repeat for a few seconds more, only able to find your words once you’ve watched Taehyun take a relaxed, languid hit. 

“You… you smoke?” you ask softly, unsure of what else to say as you stand staring at Taehyun dumbly— he raises a brow in amusement, pulling the joint away from his lips and turning to blow the smoke out into the night— it’s a slow, deep sigh, and you’re left in awe as you watch the smoke fall from his parted lips and disappear into the air; his eyes fall back on you, and you gulp. 

“Yeah?” he says casually, turning so that he’s leaning his side against the railing, tilting his head and drinking up your every reaction eagerly. “What about it?” 

Now that you’re before him, you’re finally able to get a proper look at Taehyun— a good look, unable to stop your eyes from wandering; he’s wearing that usual baggy tee and cargo pants combo that he’s so fond of, but even so, everything just feels so different; his undercut is styled cleanly, his nimble fingers glint with the aid of silver rings, a chain hanging from his neck to match— his tan skin glows under the single light placed on the porch and fuck, has he always smelled this good?

“Nothing, it’s just—” you stop yourself, biting your lip and thinking carefully over what to say; Taehyun quirks up a brow curiously, bringing his hand back up to his lips, taking another slow drag from the joint, watching the end light up before he pulls away— and you huff, hands gesturing hopelessly as you find yourself unable to properly articulate your thoughts, not when he’s staring at you so intensely, “Where did all… this, come from?”

Taehyun doesn’t answer; he simply stares at you with amused eyes. So, you continue.

“You’re always judging me for going to parties, now you’re here? And—” you stammer, pointing at the joint between his fingers in confusion, “I’ve always asked if you wanted to smoke together, and you always said no.” 

Gently, your voice trails off— and suddenly, any confidence you had when you initially approached Taehyun is wilting, your gaze averting as you begin to recount his behavior, his words, everything.

“Do you hate me or something?” 

Your words are accusatory and petulant; the question is meant to be lighthearted, but Taehyun can tell there is some genuineness to it. 

It’s silent; you’re tense. Your gaze remains glued to some distant irrelevant point, finding yourself too nervous to look up at Taehyun’s reaction to your sudden outburst— but nothing happens. Seconds feel like hours, and after what feels like eternity, a hand is gently reaching to tilt your chin up; your gaze meets Taehyun’s, and he smiles— his other hand slowly comes up your face, the joint centimeters away from your lips. 

“Wanna hit?”

His evasion to your question is not lost on you. Bitterly, you chuckle, reaching up to take the joint from him— but he’s pulling it away from you before you can grab it, tutting softly and placing it back at your lips; you reach for it again, but this time, Taehyun grabs your wrist to stop you. He taps the joint against your lips and raises his brows expectantly— what he’s asking of you finally clicks in your mind; your lips part, and he holds the joint for you as you inhale. 

Taehyun watches you with dark, intent eyes— as though analyzing every move you make, from the way you lean your head forward to the way your eyes flicker up nervously to look up at him— your face is oddly innocent and shy, feeling a lot smaller under the man’s gaze as you finally pull away; you’re exhaling slowly, your mouth slightly bitter from the taste as your swallow nervously. 

“So? Are you just gonna ignore all my questions?” you ask softly, suddenly feeling a lot weaker as you lean on the railing, crossing your arms and watching Taehyun bring the joint back to his lips— the edges of his mouth quirk up at the sticky feeling of your lip gloss that lingers on it. 

“Well… first of all… I’ve been like this, you just met me during the time I decided to back off and change my ways,” Taehyun jokes, the joint still caught between his lips as he speaks, hanging precariously, “and second of all, I definitely don’t hate you.” 

“You don’t?” you ask hopefully, doe eyes lighting up and your hand subconsciously reaching out to ask for the joint; he chuckles and hands it to you, shaking his head and watching you take a long hit with a raised brow.

“No. You’re just annoying,” he mutters, watching the way you bristle with annoyance, “what? It’s true. You drive me crazy, always forcing me to take care of your reckless ass.”

“Seriously? I literally don’t do anything to you— you’re the one who always decides to get involved,” you sneer, your snarky attitude finally back as you glare at an unfazed Taehyun; your eyes run over his appearance once more, unable to control your childish mouth as you continue, “even now— you come here out of nowhere and suddenly you’re all badass.”

“Are you trying to prove me wrong? You gonna go find some girl to bring back to the apartment?” you pout at him, taking one last hit from the joint and smiling wickedly, “I wouldn’t mind if you did, there won’t be anyone else home anyway— I have the same plans as you tonight, remember?” 

Your back is suddenly pressed against the railing; Taehyun is close, he’s pressing against you, caging you in and looking down at you with a gaze that makes you feel small— your skin warms and your eyes widen, unsure of what else to do but stand there and take the way he smiles meanly at you.

“Yeah? Where is Jake, anyway?” he asks, taking the joint from your hands and placing it between his own lips, hand steadying himself against the railing as the other suddenly lands on your bare thigh, just below your ass; you jolt at the feeling, his eyes flickering down at your outfit, at the tiny pieces that barely leave any room to the imagination; his skin is warm but his rings are cool against you, fingertips barely digging into the flesh, “or wait— is it not your turn yet?” 

Your body flushes with an unexpected heat; his voice is downright degrading, his eyes filled with pity, telling you things that his mouth doesn’t have to— look at you, all dressed up for a man who hasn’t even looked your way tonight. 

He looks at you as though you were nothing short of pathetic; it makes your knees feel weak and your stomach flip with an unexpected need. 

“Jake isn’t worth my time,” you confess, watching as Taehyun raises his brows as though to say oh really? “I can easily find someone better than him.”

“You could,” he muses, voice mocking and coy, taking another small hit before he speaks, “but who?”

“I— I’m sure there are plenty of other guys here right now,” you breath out, heart thundering in your chest; Taehyun’s face is close, so close, your bodies slowly beginning to get firmly pressed together— your brain is starting to feel foggy, your limbs suddenly much heavier and tingly; your eyes feel heavy and you’re beginning to list off names absentmindedly, all of men who you spotted in the party, all with a reputation as equally notorious as Jake’s. 

“Heesung’s in there… and Sunghoon… and…” Taehyun is giving a big nod to every name you list; he’s patronizing you, staring at you with deceivingly big puppy eyes as he hums a soft mmhmm, and who else? His eyes never leaving yours as you both try to pretend that you don’t notice his lips inching closer to yours, the way every exhale of smoke from him goes directly into your parted lips, your voice breathy and weak as you hold back a whimper that threatens to slip through, “And… fuck, and Beomgyu’s in there too… he wanted to come to the party together, y’know. Said we should go to his place after.”

“Hmm, you’ve got quite a few options lined up,” Taehyun hums, his voice sweet and light to your ears, a shuddered sigh leaving you as his hand squeezes your skin teasingly, caressing it softly and wandering up and down, up and down; he tilts his head, low lidded eyes glued to your lips as he murmurs the last part so softly you almost missed it, “but would any of them be able to fuck you right?”

Your mind reels; your chest is heaving with shallow breaths, the two of you stuck in a state of limbo as you feel yourself get lost in the feeling of him, unaware of the way your eyes have begun to gloss over, your hand reaching out to steady yourself on his bicep— your fingers wrap around the thick muscle, and his hand slides up your leg, bold and strong as he squeezes your ass— a soft whine slips out. 

“Well?” he asks again, unable to hold back a lethargic, fond smile at the way your other hand reaches up for the joint that’s still between his lips, putting it between your own, pretty glossed lips begging to be devoured— after a second, you shake your head softly, turning your head to the side and sighing slowly; with your eyes averted, you finally decide to bite the bullet. 

“No,” you say softly, “don’t want any of them anyway.”

“Then who do you want?” he asks oh so softly, leaning in to place a soft kiss at your jaw; goosebumps erupt all over your skin, and you shudder at the way he hums softly in question, persisting after seeing you get hesitant to respond— after what feels like forever, you turn to look at him; his low lidded eyes, his plump lips— and your nails dig into his bicep subconsciously. 

“You.”

There’s no chance for you to take back your words; Taehyun’s lips are rough and desperate against yours, all teeth and tongue as he groans at the feeling of your sticky gloss transferring onto him, your soft whines only aiding him to press himself more against you, to really cage you in and keep you right where he wants you. He’s biting your lip teasingly, sneaking his tongue in and toying with you, feeling him smile lazily against your mouth, wandering hand continuing to caress your skin, fingertips venturing under the hem of your tight denim skirt. 

After a while, it becomes too much— your body feels hot, your hand is gripping onto him tightly, as though he could escape if you let him go— your lungs burn and you’re barely able to keep up with him anymore, but Taehyun doesn’t seem to mind; you’re whining and crying softly at the way he continues to squeeze your ass teasingly, jolting at the way he suddenly slaps it— your fingers jump up to tangle themselves into his roots, tugging roughly at them in hopes of getting him to part from you; he seems to understand what you want, but he continues to ravish you for a few seconds more before he finally pulls away. 

In Taehyun’s eyes, this is the best you’ve looked all night; out of breath and flushed, pressed between the railing and his body, his cock already half-hard as he wills himself to not rut against your soft exposed skin like an animal— his hand leaves the railing to grab onto your waist, the other reaching for the joint that is still in your weak hold— he inspects the half-smoked, almost extinguished item before he looks back at you; a small, mischievous grin spreads on his lips, and he slips a thigh between your legs. 

“Taehyun…!” you gasp, bouncing up as Taehyun presses the firm muscle against your poor dripping pussy; your panties stick to your cunt and quickly create a wet patch on Taehyun’s jeans, and he can already feel the warmth of you through the denim— your thighs close around his own shakily, your free hand grabbing onto his shoulder for support; the glassy, wide eyed look you give him  is almost enough to make Taehyun lose it and fuck you then and there. 

“Hmm? What’s up,” Taehyun asks apathetically, fishing in his pocket for his lighter, letting go of your waist to relight the joint with a dark, concentrated gaze; his thigh continues to move against you, flexing and bouncing against your cunt, and all you can do is cry softly and plead for him to stop teasing— his lips quirk up into a mean smile, and his eyes flicker back up to your hazy, fucked out face, tucking the lighter back in his pocket and tilting his head curiously at you. 

“What do you want, baby?” he asks softly, bringing the joint to his lips and taking a long, slow hit, his eyes never leaving yours as he does. 

“Please… please stop teasing,” you whine, and judging by the way Taehyun raises a brow at that, it’s not enough; his thigh has stopped moving, so you resort to grinding pitifully against it, eyes shining with a desperation that intrigues him, “not enough… need more.”

He huffs; his hand comes up to grab your jaw, fingers digging into your cheeks and forcing you to open— you follow his command without a second thought, the last thing you see as your eyes flutter shut being Taehyun leaning in, his own mouth an inch away from yours as he exhales the smoke directly into your mouth. 

“Oh yeah? Want it?” he murmurs, feeling you nod in his hold, “tell me then. Tell me how you want it.”

“I— I…” words seem to have escaped you; it’s hard to find the confidence to tell him what you want, the world around you a blurry and lethargic mess, your senses heightened to only feel Taehyun, his skin on yours, his rings that dig into your cheek, his warm thigh that you grind against— peeking through your low lidded eyes, you watch him shake his head disappointedly, taking another hit and proceeding to blow out the smoke into your awaiting mouth once more. 

“C’mon baby, use your words. I know you can,” he insists patiently, clicking his tongue and scolding you as you proceed to blank out once more; his fingertips dig into your cheeks roughly, blunt nails threatening to leave indents as he forces you to look at him. 

“Want it rough? Want it hard?” he spits out, listening to your whiny mmhmm, mmhmm! with narrowed eyes, and he laughs— it’s mean and condescending, just like his next words, “fucking slut, ‘course you do.”

He’s capturing your lips in another harsh kiss before you can protest; the joint in his hand is snuffed out on the fence and tucked away, his hands falling onto your hips as he begins to press you firmly against him, guiding your pace entirely and forcing you to ride his thigh; you whine and you moan against his lips, fingers tugging at his hair as you grind your soaked cunt against his jeans— when Taehyun pulls away, your lips chase his without a second thought, hands tightening your hold against him in fear that he’ll leave.

“You want it?” he asks once more, bouncing his thigh against your messy cunt, grinning at the way you yelp, “Tell me baby, go on, say it; tell me you want it.” 

He won’t let you go quite easily this time. Sharp, intense eyes prying the words out of you, brows furrowing together at the weak, quiet attempts that come from you, fingers leaving a bruising grip on you as he silently commands for more.

“Taehyun, c’mon…” you pout, an embarrassed heat rising up your face, not used to seeing this side of him— you didn’t even know it existed, to be fair, “I want it, please, stop being a tease.”

Taehyun has you regretting your words in the blink of an eye; hand pressing the small of your back, forcing you to arch and proceeding to land a harsh smack on your ass that has you gasping, the skin stinging from the feeling of the rough metal of his rings landing on it— but his hand doesn’t fail to caress the place soothingly, a total contrast to the ruthless glare he gives you.

“A tease?” he sneers, landing another, gentler smack, as though the words are enough to get him angry all over again.

“You mean like when you were showing off this cute little skirt to me? Hmmm? Bending down and showing me your panties? Or when you were talking about getting fucked by my friends?” he can feel you tremble against his hold, your mouth opening to retaliate— but you’re not quick enough, Taehyun’s smart mouth running faster than yours, “Or how ‘bout when you force me to watch you run off to parties and bring a man over to your room, just to have me take care of you in the mornings? Is that what you mean by a tease?” 

You shake your head, scrambling to come up with a response; Taehyun seems to have gotten quite fed up with you, because his hand is coming up to wrap around your neck, adding a subtle pressure that leaves you light headed and mushy.

“What, can’t talk now? What happened to that mouthy girl I had here earlier?” Taehyun says, his voice mean and dripping with venom, “tell me you want it, or I’ll leave you here— you said you had some other toys to fuck with inside, right? I’m sure they could help give you what you want.”

“No, no, please, I want it, need it,” you cry, attempting to chase any pleasure and grind your cunt against him; you’re quickly stopped by his firm, bruising hand, “Taehyun, Taehyun, please, please fuck me, I want you, please?”

“I don’t know,” he mutters lowly, eyes glued to the way your hips buck and cant, trying desperately to break free from his hold that prevents you from moving, “think you deserve it?”

“Yes,” you immediately sigh, body restless and hot and overwhelmingly needy, feeling as though you’ve gotten tunnel vision for the man before you; your hand slips from his shoulder and down his chest, finding the hardened bulge that has been pressing against your body with ease— his jaw clenches, and his face remains stoic— but that doesn’t mean you don’t notice the way his lips part or his hips press against your palm reassuringly, “yes– give it to me, want it, only wanted you from the start.”

“Fuck,” he breathes out, heavy eyes locked onto the way you look up at him so prettily, your hand palming and rubbing at his clothed cock only serving to cloud his thoughts further, “C’mon.” 

He’s stealing one last slow, messy kiss from you before he pulls away; fingers intertwined with yours, stepping back and proceeding to tug you along— you stumble at the sudden action, your airy self giggling softly at the way you tumble into Taehyun’s broad back; he sends you a fond smile, squeezing your hand reassuringly before he’s opening the door to the house and leading you back inside. 

It feels as though the whole environment of the party has changed; the neon lights, blasting music and humid air is a little more welcomed than it was before, unable to contain the dopey smile that grows on your face as you allow Taehyun to lead you wherever; you trust him. 

“Wherever” leads you to a bedroom upstairs— Taehyun is slamming the door shut and grabbing your waist, spinning you around and pinning you against the wall before you can even react; his face is inches from yours as he mutters a safeword for the two of you, waiting for you to nod and repeat it back before his lips are back on yours— but this time, he seems to want to take his time with you; plump, swollen lips beginning to trail along your jaw, wandering until he’s peppering kisses along your neck, teasing mouth nipping and sucking at your jaw until you’re holding onto his shoulders and begging for more. 

Slowly, he begins to walk the two of you backwards; lips never leaving yours, hands caressing your skin and toying with the hem of your shirt as he sits down on the bed, making you stand between his legs— pulling away, you put your hands on Taehyun’s firm shoulders, sighing shakily at the way he looks at you; as though he were holding back from devouring you entirely, a fondness that makes you weak in the knees undeniably there in his pupils. 

“Fuck, pretty girl, pretty body,” he breathes, leaning forward to pepper kisses wherever he can— pushing your shirt up to expose your chest, burying his head in your tits and placing open mouthed kisses, biting teasingly at the flesh, chuckling at the feeling of you jolting and jutting your chest out, your body much more reactive and sensitive— and he trails down slowly, down the valley of your breasts, down your stomach, lingering there for a bit as he kisses and sucks marks into the vast canvas; his hands trail up and down your sides, pulling you in every time you try to squirm away. 

“What, you getting shy on me now?” he tuts, nipping at your side and listening to the squeal that escapes you— his hands tighten and he’s forcing you forward, leaning back until he’s laying down and you’re straddling him precariously; your knees dig into the mattress and you’re trying your best to remain stable, but Taehyun doesn’t seem to be satisfied yet— you frown in confusion at the feeling of him trying to tug your hips up more, resisting the motion with a tilt of your head; Taehyun pouts. 

“Don’t be like that,” he groans, hands shifting from your hips to the back of your thighs, one cupping your ass and the other falling just below— and you yelp, Taehyun’s muscles flexing as he moves you up forcefully, much too strong for you to retaliate; you’re tumbling down, face burning and planting into the mattress as Taehyun shifts below you— your dripping cunt hovering just above his face, skirt riding up and bunching at your hips, any whines of protests falling on deaf ears as he begins to press soft kisses on your inner thighs. 

“T–Taehyun, wait, you don’t—” you stutter through moans, fingers gripping onto the sheets below you as you feel him beginning to trail up, your body revealing just how much you don’t mean your words, “you don’t have to— mmh–!”

His hands are coming up to your middle, pulling and signaling for you to sit up; you do, partly from your own efforts but mostly from his, easily moving you as though you were nothing but a doll— and your cunt is hovering over his face, hungry eyes flickering up to meet yours— he sees the hesitation on your face, the way you’re beginning to ramble once more, and he scoffs; the smack that lands on the back of your thigh is enough to get you to stop mid sentence. 

“Just shut up and let me taste you,” he says sternly; his fingers dig into your hips and he’s tugging you down, sneering at the way you continue to hesitate, only allowing yourself to hover over him— he bites at your inner thigh in retaliation, the sensitive feeling bringing out a cry from you, hips bucking and thighs squeezing around his head for a second, “C’mon baby, sit on my face— I can take it, you know I can.”

The hesitant hum you let out is enough for him; he rolls his eyes, and with a strength you forgot he possessed, he forces you to plant your cunt directly onto him. 

It feels like a switch has flipped within him. Fuck, you think, your lips parted in a silent scream, a hand scrambling to tangle itself in his hair, fuck! 

He hasn’t even bothered to move your panties to the side; he’s eating you out through them, tongue pushing into your hole and lips kissing and sucking at your clit like a man starved, groaning and praising you with a muffled voice; his fingers dig into your ass, making sure to keep you planted firmly on his face as he eats you out.

You think you’re losing your fucking mind. 

Just when you thought it was too much, that your body felt like it was buzzing with electricity, filled with a euphoria and pleasure that had you mewling and crying desperately, Taehyun’s nimble fingers finally push the ruined cloth that covers your pussy to the side— and oh, oh, your eyes are rolling back and your mouth is stuck open, Taehyun’s hot tongue lapping and fucking into your hole and his nose pressing firmly into your clit— he’s panting and sighing against your cunt, slurping up any arousal that leaks from your poor hole— his head shakes from side to side, humming into your pussy, and the last bit of resolve within you shatters. 

“Taehyun— oh my god, Taehyun—!” you cry, hips grinding down into him, thighs closing around his head; you can feel him fucking smiling lazily into your pussy, rough hand slapping your ass and guiding your movements against him, as though to silently reassure you and ask for more. “Please— oh god, oh— fuckfuckfuck, m’close, I’m close, hnng—!” 

Your words are nothing but fuel to the man beneath you— his tongue is flattening against your hole, licking up and flicking at your clit before he begins to suck on it; two fingers prod at your clenching entrance, proceeding to push in without warning, curling expertly and finding your sweet spot with ease; your body shivers and you wail, muscles growing weak as you fall forward once more— burying your head in your arms as you cry about how close you are, the new position only allowing Taehyun to move your hips firmly against him, rocking you back into him; his fingers pull out of your cunt in favor of shoving his tongue back in instead, following every buck and twitch of your hips with ease— his nails dig into your skin as he holds you still, eliciting a dull feeling of pain, and everything falls apart. 

Too much, too much! you think— maybe you say it out loud, your mouth open and gasping as you grip onto the bed sheets, feeling as Taehyun continues his same, intense ministrations; letting you ride out your orgasm but not stopping, even after you’ve begun to sniffle and cry about how sensitive you feel— after a while, Taehyun finally gives in, pulling away from your cunt to lick you clean, pressing firm, sloppy kisses against your hole and puffy clit, smiling at the way you twitch with each one. 

You feel as though your bones have all melted; you can’t move, face burrowed into the mattress and chest heaving as you try to catch your breath— beneath you, Taehyun moves, slipping out from under you and hovering behind, hungry eyes taking in the sight before him eagerly; ass up and back arched, glistening hole on display as you continue to shudder and breathe shakily— you hear the sound of clothes rustling behind you, followed by the feeling of the bed dipping— Taehyun’s hand rubs at your ass fondly, and you jump at the sudden sensation, eyes screwing shut and a quiet whine leaving you.  

“You’re so fucking hot,” Taehyun sighs, biting at his lip and stroking your skin, up your back and to your shoulders, leaning over and kissing gently at the nape of your neck as he whispers, “think you can take more?” 

“Yes– yeah, please,” you beg quietly, unable to feel an ounce of shame from how immediate your response is; you can feel his cock rubbing against your ass, the stickiness of his tip that ruts against you subtly— you look over your shoulder with a hazy eyes and a soft, blissful smile, meeting Taehyun’s equally fucked out gaze as you push your hips back, “wanna feel you inside— I’m on the pill.” 

The sharp breath of air Taehyun sucks in isn’t lost on you— his cock jumps from the way you grind against him, no longer able to keep up that cold and uninterested facade he’s kept up since the moment you two met up for the first time— he wants you, bad. And to his delight, you seem to feel the same. 

“Jesus, you drive me so fucking crazy,” Taehyun breathes, the soft giggle you let out not helping him remain calm; he sits back, a hand grabbing at your waist and the other wrapping around his length— he’s squeezing the base, pumping at it slowly, the gruff sighs and moans you hear behind you enough to have you clenching around nothing— just when you think you’ll have to beg again, you feel his thick tip begin to prod at your entrance. 

You think you could cum from the feeling of him stretching you out alone— a broken moan leaves you at the feeling of him entering inside you, so thick and big that you think he might just break you; your head drops back into the mattress and your hips are pulled back against Taehyun’s, soft cries leaving you at the feeling of him bottomed out inside you. 

“P-perfect, so… damn perfect,” Taehyun rasps out, head falling back and eyes squeezing shut at the feeling of you clenching around him— you’re so tight and sensitive, walls fluttering around him and sucking him in, tempting him to lose control and pound you straight into the mattress; he has to take a deep breath and concentrate on not cumming then and there, because the way you’re beginning to whine for more like a cockhungry bitch is really getting to him, “shit– stop— ugh– stop squeezing me like that princess, won’t fucking last long if you do.”

You can only whine in protest at that; it’s so hard to remain still, your hazy mind already fucked out beyond belief from your first orgasm— but even so, you still want more, you crave it, you need it; you make sure that Taehyun is aware of it, too, whiny and breathy as you cry and cry for him to fuck you. 

“Tyun, come on,” you pout, impatiently moving your hips back, in search of any stimulation you can get, “please, wanna get fucked already, want it hard, don’t tell me that was all talk earlier.”

If there’s one thing you’ve figured out about Taehyun, it’s that he hates when you try to act up on him— because as he tightens his fingers into your plush skin and slowly begins to pull his hips out, you realize quickly that he’s most definitely not all talk. 

“Ah—!” 

Your body is being driven forward with each thrust— Taehyun is fucking you hard, muttering angry words that you can’t even pick up over the sound of your own moans; his cock is thick and his hips are angled so his head bumps against your sensitive spot with each thrust, harsh pace not allowing you any reprieve as you simply fall limp, unable to move your hips back in tandem with his pace; if anything, Taehyun is doing it for you, rough hands bringing you back against him like it’s nothing. 

“Fucking slut— got such a dirty mouth, should make sure you to fuck you good so you can’t talk back to me,” he growls, feeling you clench like a vice around him, even more when he stops thrusting in favor of pulling you back like a doll for him to use, “Oh, you’d like that huh? Like it when I use you like a toy? Stupid pussy’s nothing more than a fucking cumdump for me— yeah, c’mon, move your hips, thaat’s it, just like that.” 

His mouth continues to spew filth, a stark contrast to how Taehyun usually is— he’s always been quieter during sex, but the sight of you trembling and struggling to take his cock is enough for his mouth to run faster than his mind— that, and the aid of his high that seems to have gotten rid of any self-control he usually exhibits. 

Your movements have become sluggish and weak— you’re getting tired, he can tell, so with one last slap to your ass that has you yelping, he finally decides to take control again. 

“God, can’t even fuck me for more than a few minutes? Where’d that cocky girl from before go, hmm?” He asks, voice patronizing as he begins his harsh thrusts— only pulling out halfway before he’s sinking in all the way, hips slapping against your ass creating a lewd sound; your cunt only tightens and gushes around him, hiccupped moans leaving you as he picks up his pace, watching as your arms give out beneath you and your face gets planted into the mattress; he huffs out a laugh, and reaches out to grab a fistful of your hair— yanking your head back, you yelp, left to his mercy as he begins to pound into your ruthlessly. 

“Taehyun, wait– slow down…!” you cry, scratching at the bed sheets and feeling tears prick at your eyes— and he does, for a second, waiting for you to say something else, for the safeword you both agreed on— but you don’t, and the laugh he lets out after catching on is enough to have your face burning with humiliation— and his pace picks back up— no, he’s meaner than before, degrading you below his breath and pulling at your hair, pulling you back against him, a hand sneaking down to place sloppy circles at your clit— you’re keening and clenching like a vice around him, a sharp hiss leaving him at the feeling. 

“Mmmh, too… too much,” you manage to say softly, immediately given another harsh tug at your hair in response, your eyes watering at the feeling. 

“Too much?” Taehyun repeats, and you can practically hear the pout on his lips from the patronizing tone, “thought you wanted it hard? Don’t tell me it was all talk.”

He’s spitting your exact words back at you, watching with amusement as you try weakly to prove him wrong. 

“That’s right. You’ll take it like a good girl should,” he grunts, slowing his pace down and punctuating his words with rough, deep thrusts, “Fucking. Take it. All.” 

You’re close, he can feel it, he can hear it— and the thought of watching your pretty face screw up into pleasure and bliss is enough to send Taehyun’s mind reeling, not hesitating to pull out and let go of your body— his lips quirk up with satisfaction at the way you’re immediately falling limp, fucked out face peeking behind in confusion, about to complain about why he stopped when he begins to move you. 

It feels dizzying, the way he’s able to manipulate you and force you into any position he likes; you’re sure Taehyun can read it all over your face, because he smiles meanly at you, patting your cheek fondly before he begins to busy himself with your clothes. 

“Don’t think I never noticed you staring, pretty,” he grins, tugging your skirt and panties down swiftly, eying the soiled underwear before he throws it off to the side, landing directly on his discarded pile of clothes— and he sends you another sleazy smile that has you bringing your knees up and closing your legs shyly— it’s all futile though, because he’s immediately kneeling before you and spreading your thighs open with his warm, large hands, holding onto the underside of your knees as he scoots closer to you, “always getting so touchy with me, grabbing onto my arms and thighs— dumb little thing, bet you thought you were getting away with it each time, hmm?”

“Shut up,” you whine, resisting the urge to cover your face and hide away— but you really can’t, especially with the way his thick cock ruts against your pussy, tip sliding up and down your slit as he teases you by putting it in, only to pull back out again, “Taehyun…”

“C’mon, grab onto me,” he muses, slipping the tip in once more before he begins to slide in slowly, watching your mouth fall open and your eyes grow glassy, “wanna watch you cum on my cock.”

This new position practically has you seeing stars— Taehyun hovers over you and watches intently, chain hanging over your face as he presses your thighs against your body, fucking you straight into the mattress; you tremble and you gasp, a fire festering in your stomach as you beg for more— “m-more, please, faster, harder, s-shit—!”

Taehyun listens to your every request intently— his stamina is impressive and ruthless, and his cock is reaching and hitting places you never knew were there— your back arches and your hands scramble to grab onto something to stabilize yourself, inevitably falling onto Taehyun’s body in the end; one on his shoulder, the other on his bicep that flexes from the effort of keeping your squirming body still. 

“So… fucking… pretty,” Taehyun groans, watching your chest heave and your eyes blink away tears, leaning down to suck and bite at your breast, frowning at the bra that still covers them— throwing a leg over his shoulder, Taehyun pulls your bra up roughly, hips continuing to pound against yours as he latches his mouth onto your pretty nipples— you gasp, nails digging into his skin as you begin to cry to him, good, s-so good, fuck! 

“Shit, I’m close,” he says after a moment, pulling off your breasts with a lewd pop! That has your eyes rolling back; he moves up to press a sloppy kiss to your lips, murmuring your name sweetly and waiting for you to respond. “I’m close baby, so– so fucking close– where— hah, where do you want it?”

“Inside,” you immediately mewl, hearing him groan unabashedly in response, “Please, pleasepleaseplease, inside, inside—! Fill me, want your cum, wanna be full—!”

“Okay baby, okay,” he says sweetly, kissing at your neck and wandering up to your ear, “gonna fill you up good, just like you want.”

“Oh, are you close too?” he asks, and you nod furiously, watching as he goes back to hover over you, watching every change in your expression intently, “I can feel it, pretty cunt’s squeezing me so good– c’mon, cum for me baby, wanna see it, wanna watch your pretty face, will you let me? Yeah, only for me to see— gonna cum, fuck, make you mine, you’re mine only, okay?”

His words are enough to send you over the edge; you let out a long whine and scratch at his skin, crying out his name desperately as your nails rake down his back, down his arm; he hisses at the feeling, the pain enough to set him off and join you right after; his hips stutter and his face screws up from the pleasure, brows knitting together and teeth gritting together as he lets out soft moans— but his eyes never leave yours, deft fingers circling your clit as he lets you ride out your orgasm— your legs tremble under his hold, eyes rolling back and face smoothing out from the pure euphoria you feel.

“Yours… just yours,” you sigh out, feeling his hips finally still, thick cum beginning to leak out from you, falling onto the sheets and ruining them completely; you pant and try to regain composure, but it’s really, really hard— you feel like you’re on cloud nine, words tumbling past your lips before you can second guess them, “y’have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to hear that.”

“Really?” he asks; the panic you feel in your chest is short-lived, because as soon as you see the soft look in Taehyun’s eyes, you melt. 

“Yeah…” you say softly, suddenly a lot more shy under his gaze, “this was like. Attempt number one hundred of me trying to get over you. Or make you jealous.”

“Hmm… well, you don’t have to do that anymore. I’m all yours,” he mumbles, swooping in to steal a slow kiss from you; you can’t control the giddy laugh that leaves you at that, lazy hands tangling into his hair to keep him close. 

“Good,” you murmur against his lips, “I was running out of guys to use against you.”

His hand squeezes at your hip in warning— you smile coyly. 

“Joking, of course.” 

Nipping at your lip, Taehyun sends you a half-hearted glare. 

“You better be.” 

You give him a giddy nod; after tonight, it wasn’t like anyone would be able to compare to him, anyway. Shifting underneath him, you wince at the feeling of your sweaty body rubbing against the sheets— Taehyun is able to read your face before you can get anything out.

“Wanna go home?” he asks softly. 

“Please,” you say, giving him a shy smile that has his heart flipping pathetically, “will you carry me?” 

He laughs, placing a chaste kiss on your lips and sneaking his arms under your figure. 

“Always.” 

[strawbeelemonade]

ROMANTIC IMAGINE: Miguel O'hara visits you when you call in sick

i know how to write things other then headcannons i swear. theyre just so EASY. you can request actual fics lmao. promise! This was intended as romantic btw, but you can interperate this however you want!

WARNING: descripion of wounds/blood, description of burns, overprotectiveness,

Miguel lands on your balcony with a heavy thump, his landing was a little awkward from trying to swing with only one hand, but he managed well enough. The Tupperware in his hand looked a little worse for wear, though.

Almost every fibre of him wanted to turn around and forget about this, but he knew he couldn’t bring himself to, he needed to know you were ok.

You had called off sick from work yesterday, and you didn't show up today either. In all the time you were working at Alchemex you’ve never done that before. The secretary had told him you sounded like you were in a lot of pain over the phone, so it was obvious you were unwell in some way or another. He’s been worried ever since.

This felt stupid. Over dramatic, even. But he’d gone to his brother for advice, and this is what he had given him: Their moms classic Pozole recipe, The same recipe him and his brother ate while growing up. Obviously Miguel protested, adamantly. he hadn’t cooked for anyone in a very long time. He wasn’t even sure if he’d still be able to… His brothers response?

“Do you want my help or not?”

So Miguel scrounged around the kitchen for what he needed. He squinted to read his mothers old chicken scratch from all those years ago. He put in the work, as uncomfortable as he felt, And He packaged it and come all the way here.

And now he didn’t know how to go forward.

He had never felt more out of his element in his life. As he Stood outside your window with the soup in his freakish claws he realised he didn’t know where to go from there. He hadn’t thought further than this point. What would he say when he gave it to you? What would he even do after that?

He had to awkwardly shimmy through the window with the Tupperware in one hand, almost stepping on a cable stretching across the floor. “Fuck—“

the hinges creaking offensively as he pushed down your open window and he cursed, shutting it as delicately as possible. When he heard your voice ring out from behind him he tensed.

“Uh, Hey Miguel!” You call from the bathroom. He breathed out the puff of air he was holding in. No turning back now.

“…Hey,” he called, not knowing where to begin. “…I brought you a little something.”

He makes his way to where he heard your voice coming from, and pauses briefly by your kitchen counter. He looks down at the soup in his hands.

…He could just leave it here, that would be less humiliating for everyone, wouldn’t it? He knew you were ok, now. He heard your voice, so you were alive. He did what he came here to do. He could turn around right now and escape while you were still in the bathroom.

But something stops him. A little smell wafted by his nose briefly. It was brief. It was faint. But it was there and it made him pause.

So he sits the soup on the counter quietly, but he doesn’t turn around. He walks further down the hall and takes a deep breathe. The smell is clearer now. Miguel gets a bad feeling.

He picks up the pace and pulls off his mask to get a better whiff, and suddenly he’s hit with the all too familiar stifling stench of blood.

No.

NO!

“Y/n!” He runs up to your bathroom door and starts rattling the handle, but the door is locked. He pauses when he hears your voice on the other side, clearer and more effective at preventing him from tearing the door off its hinges—.

“D-Don’t come in!” You yell. “I’m... ngh- I’m a bit busy in here!”

“Y/n, what do I smell?!” He doesn’t need you to tell him, He already knows the answer. It’s pungency rings clear from his side of the door. The tanginess was so prominent that even someone with normal senses could pick up on it.

“N-nothing!” You stutter. You always stutter when you’re nervous. And when you're lying.

“Are you bleeding? Where’s it coming from? Open up!” He starts banging on the door again, his fist unintentionally rattling the frame.

“You don’t smell anything- stop that!” You snapped, annoyance ringing clear. But there was a certain strain to your voice, a painful whine that made his heart drop. “I-I’m just, uh- changing! will you give me a minute? Please, Miguel.”

“Don’t lie to me! What’s wrong, can you not get to the door?” He starts backing up to gauge the frame of the door and… Yeah, he could kick that in, easily.

sensing what he was getting ready to do, you spring up from your spot hunched over on the side of the bath tub and amble to the bathroom door. “No no no!” You lean against the door, heaving. “Don’t do anything drastic, I’m right here!”

He paused and waited for you to open it, but your hesitation makes him start losing his patience. “Y/n-“

“I’m ok, Miguel. S-seriously. I just took a little tumble on the way home.” You swallow back a painful grunt as you lean on the door frame for more support. “Look…” you started. “Now’s really not a good time—“

“Y/n.”

You shut your mouth. ‘Oh, shit.’

the tone of his voice hid a warning. Miguel knew what you were going to suggest even before you said it, and he refused to let you finish. The fact that you were bleeding as much as you were for him to smell you across the house, And you were trying to hide it from him? It must be bad, there was no doubt about that. His brain began racing for answers, for explanations, for names. He didn’t know where you were hurt, god what if it was somewhere vital? Who did this to you and where? Why were you trying to hide it? Did they threaten you? Something must of happened. there was no way he would leave you here, No. There was no getting rid of him now.

“Open this door.” He says one final time. And you can tell it’s the final time from the tone of his words. His voice quaked with fury at even the mere insinuation that he’d ever leave you when you were wounded. That you were even wounded In the first place.

“Now.”

...

There’s a beat of silence where neither of you say anything. And for a second he thinks he’s going to have to break the door open inwards just to avoid plowing over you to get it open. But then he hears you apprehensively turn the lock and he almost breaks the handle from how fast he rips it open.

You stumble a bit, reeling at his strength. and then youre taking a tumble from being thrown off balance, but before you can even yelp out a cry he swoops in to catch you in his arms before your body can even comes close to hitting the floor. “Lo si—! Sorry! Y/N, I’m so sorry.”

from being so close he could tell immedietely that you were running warm, did you really have a fever too? He perches you on to the toilet seat and you wince at the ache washing through your body. God, your back was killing you... and Miguel's hands were all over you. you tried pulling your arms out of his grip, but he wasn't budging. he scoured your front for bruises, cuts, anything.

"what happened, where does it hurt, Y/N, please." he lifted your arms, checking your sides. nothing there... You couldn't bring yourself to answer, all the jostling around was making you go really dizzy... so much so that his words seemed to bounce off your ears. you squint at him. were there two of him before?

"Oi, mami/papi. focus for me. tell me where your hurt." he pats your cheek, snapping you a little out of your stupor. you blinked. his faced was pulled taught with worry, lines creased his skin in places that looked almost painful. and his eyes...

"Miguel... hhhave... your eyessschanged?" you weren't sure if it was the delirium from the pain finally setting in, or if your bathroom light just highlighted the underlying hues, but his tired brown eyes had shifted to a shade of... dare you say red.

they flicked back to your face, they had this wild look in them, like he was angry. but his voice wobbled like he was scared. "tell me where the pain is."

"... M' back.." you mumbled. he tugs on your shoulder to twist you around, making you whine. he apologizes quietly, before turning back to the red stains that were crawling up the back of your shirt.

you both descended into a tense silence. Miguel looked cramped, hovering over you in your tiny bathroom. he had to draw in his arms to not knock into your shower. not the most ideal place to play nurse... but he would manage. Miguel unshealthes his talons and cuts open the fabric like its warm butter. all you feel is a cold draft hit your back, and you shudder.

when he gets a good look at the state of your back his heart drops, what he finds isn't what he was expecting. your lower back is marred with an explosion like mass of burned skin. the center of the wound is deeper and more bloody then the rest, like something fast, blunt and burning hot struck you there.

God.

"Y/N, what the hell happened?" he glances at your bathroom bin and spots your old, scorched shirt lying inside. so you really were changing... that explained why the shirt you were wearing didn't have a massive gaping hole in it.

"Lyla. whats the aetiology for this." she flickers into view next to him, screening your back, and she winces.

"the lascerations have been caused by 1st and 2nd degree burns, the wound has become infected and needs to be treated immediately. the depth of the wound is telling me that the collision was hard and fast, likely a projectile."

"they were shot?."

"most likely. not by any normal weapon though, obviously." she confirmed, "it... doesn't look like the infection has interfered with the spinal collum." she optimistically added.

"will it scar?" he tilted his head towards her, but didn't take his eyes off the wound.

the Ai assistant didn't respond, calculating the most nerve settling response to his question. her silence told him everything he needed to know. "yeah, don't answer that." a snarl was building in his throat, fighting its way to the top.

he spots the first aid bag and its contents sprawled across your counter. most of it was over the counter painkillers, light ointments and bandaids. nothing in there that would help you.

"ok." he drags his hand down his face looking around the room. "Hijo de puta-!" his fist banged against the wall in a burst of anger, the pathetic thin walls rattled underneath the force. "Y/N, what the hell were you thinking?!"

you were stuck in this apartment by yourself, barely able to move or, jesus, even think. the fact that he could have never come… No, that he had come but couldve left here without knowing you were going through this on your own... the thought made him sick. why did you let it get this bad? what had happened?

you don't answer his question, your breathing has started to grow heavier, fevered. the sheen of sweat on the back of your neck had grown thicker as well. miguel reaches out to hold you steady. his mind racing. you can't stay here.

he knows he has to make a call. literally. he lifts his watch to his face.

"Jess, get someone on the medical team to prepare for my arrival." he picks you up carefully and fights to keep his voice from rising, he wasn't thinking clearly. all he could think about was getting you somewhere safe.

it wasn't common for miguel to ask for medical assistance, even at times when he probably should. he didn't like calling for help, he prefered to do things on his own, even to his own detriment. the idea that something could shake miguel up like this, making him ask for assistance, was new. Jessica could hear the tension in his throat as clear as day.

"whats your condition." she responded, concern shining through in her voice.

"no, no. i'm fine." he answered. "i've got an injured with me, they've been shot and need first aid immedietely. its a second degree burn that been left for over 24 hours, its infected."

"...done." she answers. "are they a new recruit?"

"they're a friend."

Pozole: a traditional soup or stew that is made from hominy with meat, you can put in things like shredded lettuce/cabbage, chilli peppers, onions, garlic, radishes, avocado, salsa or limes. (this sounds scrummy ngl i'm so hungry bro)

"Lo siento": i'm sorry (this is when he goes "Lo si-" but cuts himself off)

"Oi, mami": hey, Mama (i learned that mami or mamita can be used in a lot of different ways. native spanish speakers can use it to adress parentel figures, friends that give motherly energy, or it can even be used as a funny nickname for kids. i've seen a lot of people use it sexually in fics, but apparently thats not always the case!)

aetiology: kind of like a diagnosis, but different. its the cause of a desease or condition. idk if it's applicable to wounds, though.

"Hijo de puta-!": son of a bitch-!

I put these here so if anyone has any corrections i could make to the terms I’ve used to be more accurate then I can change them accordingly. I used online translators and articles… if anyone has any good websites for translating languages let me know! i'd be really interested.

[onceuponastory]

go to bed - bucky barnes x reader

Plot: Bucky Barnes is a pain in Y/N's ass...until she gets sick. Pairing: Hinted Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader Warnings: Reader being sick and exhausted, and Bucky being annoying. But as always, if I miss any triggers, please let me know! Notes: This is short (just under 550 words), and complete self gratification because I woke up yesterday full of the cold and I feel pretty crappy. So I need Bucky Barnes in my life rn, lmao.

Not beta'd, so any mistakes are my own.

Bucky sits on his phone in the Avengers kitchen, mindlessly scrolling through social media. The room is quiet, just how he likes it. That is, however, until Y/N shuffles into the room, a blanket wrapped around her shivering form. She groans as she walks, every part of her body aching. The sooner this damn cold goes away, the better. 

“Woah, you look like shit.” Bucky says, looking up at her from his phone, his blue eyes narrowing. Y/N rolls her eyes. This is the last thing she needs right now - Bucky’s annoying ass making her feel worse. She doesn't know what she did to make Bucky tease her so much, but she definitely isn’t sticking around to find out, or listen to his teasing.

“Gee, thanks.”

“No.” Bucky places his phone in his pocket, walking over to her. He studies her, her croaky voice, her runny nose, the clear lack of sleep, and her pyjamas and slippers. “I mean it. You really look like shit. Are you sick?” “No, I just decided to dress like a-a-achoo!” Y/N sneezes, answering Bucky’s question right away.

“Go to bed.” He orders.

“You’re not the boss of me.” Y/N murmurs. She pours herself a glass of water, sipping it in the hopes it alleviates the pain in her throat. “I have stuff to do, anyway.”

“I’m not asking you. You look exhausted, you need sleep.” He replies, and before Y/N argues back again, she notices a look of genuine concern in his eyes. For once, he’s not being a tough guy… he actually cares about her. And despite how much of a pain in her ass Bucky Barnes is… Y/N is glad to have someone looking out for her right now. “Come on.” Bucky prompts, wrapping an arm around her and leading her towards her bedroom. Whether it’s to protect her or simply hold her aching body up, she isn’t sure. But she does know that being so close to Bucky and feeling the warmth radiating off his body is making her feel a lot better already. “Go back to bed. I’ll tell you what you miss in the meetings.”

“Probably won't be much. Just Tony showing off.” She jokes, and Bucky laughs, a sound which makes her stomach flutter, and her legs turn into jelly. And this time, she’s sure it’s not because she’s sick. It’s because Bucky caring for her, and her being important to him feels…wonderful.

Bucky leads her to her room, helping her into bed and wrapping a blanket around her. “Do you need some more water? Tea? I’ll be right outside if you need me.” He offers, and Y/N chuckles, shaking her head.

“No, I think I’m okay.” She yawns. “I might try to get some sleep.” Bucky smiles, nodding. He turns, heading back to her door. “Bucky, wait.”

“Yeah?”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” She asks. “I thought you didn’t like me.” Bucky chuckles, shaking his head. 

“Of course I like you.” He whispers, sitting on the edge of her bed. “I’m just an asshole.”

“You are.” She murmurs, her exhaustion catching up to her. Bucky chuckles, looking down at her as she starts to drift off. Once she's asleep, Bucky gazes down at her, smiling softly.

“I like you a lot, actually.” He whispers. “More than you’ll ever know.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Please follow @onceuponastory-library and turn on notifications to be notified when I next post!

[stanfordswifey]

"I'll be here for you, my love"

Ford Pines x reader

You've been in the hospital for 5 years straight, your cancer developing and spreading. The tumor you had ignored had now developed and evolved, spreading to your organs, causing your stage 1 liver tumor to evolve into stage 4 metastasis.

Just yesterday the doctor walked into your room quietly, it was unusual. She had some news to break to you. "I'm afraid you only have a couple more days left. I've told you this before but its any time now, i'm sorry." You smiled at her, noticing the tear falling down her cheek and frown mentally, keeping a fake strong facade. "It's not your fault. I'm glad you tried your.best and never gavs up on me." Your hand curls into a ball under the sheet, doing your best to sray strong. The doctor left soon after, leaving you alone in the room with only your thoughts, your brain wandered 'will i tell ford?' 'Will he be okay?' 'I hope he's going to be fine without me'

You stared mindlessly at the ceiling, thoughts and memories rolling around in your mind like a film for a movie, you curse at the solidarity of your life, eventually falling asleep. You felt pathetic, worthless even, knowing that your husband too busy to even worry about you.

(You eventually fall asleep and wake up the next day)

It was another dreary day at the hospital, the sight of white boring walls and minimalistic decor making you lose your sanity by the minute, not having anything to suppress the agonizing pain you felt in your body.

-ford's pov-

"It has been a while since I last visited them at the hospital"

He murmurs, to no one but himself.

You've been gone for so long, off he visited you time to time, but ultimately focusing on the portal more and more to distract himself from worrying about you too much.

As he was working on his portal, his phone suddenly rang, causing him to jump at the sudden sound, rolling his eyes as he pushes himself away from the table (yk those chairs w wheels he basically just rolled over to the phone LMAO).

He accepts the call, ruffling his hair in frustration.

"Ford Pines here, who is this?"

"Ah, sorry, I'm doctor may here, what is your relationship to (reader)?"

He hums, fidgeting with a machine part with his fingers

"I'm their fiancé, what's wrong?"

The doctor clears her throat on the other line,

"I'm sorry to tell you, their tumor has started to spread to numerous other organs, I fear they don't have much time left.."

Ford feels his stomach drop, his hand loosening.

".."

"I suggest you get them out of the hospital and just spend time together, I'm afraid there isn't much we can do now. It's best to spend time while they're still here"

"..I see, thank you doctor."

The call ended, he immediately drops his phone and covers his face with his hands, tears falling down. They really couldn't do anything now. He didn't know what to do.

That night he spent his time sobbing, thinking of ways to help you, looking for a cure, a remedy, anything to help you, he failed miserably.

After a couple hours of thinking it over and breaking down he decided to pick you up from the hospital and spend time together, if you couldn't be there for the entirety of his life, atleast he'd be there for yours.

A/N

Hi hi!! This was shitty! I havent written anything for a while T~T please do send me some ideas/requests or if I did anything wrong plz do comment it down, also English isn't my first language so It's not perfect, this will be like 2 or 3 parts? I dont know yet but I will update :33 thank you again for reading <33

[submissivekillers]

kinktober day 4 - sensory deprivation (john kramer)

yall i wrote most of this so fast lmao?? literally banged out like 800 words in an hour yesterday n would've finished early if i didn't have to work a double (hell.) the spirit of old man fucking compelled me. also i think im into sensory deprivation now lowkey. mild tw for jigsaw-typical torture/violence but only in the first like 2 paragraphs

You had thought that you were intimately familiar with every kind of torture.

It was a knowledge you picked up quickly in the company of Jigsaw and his apprentices – they had refined it to something of an artform, in your opinion. Through careful study, you had determined exactly the amount of force necessary to snap the bones in an arm cleanly; you had calculated just how much blood a person could lose while still being able to drag themselves out of harm's way. With trial and error, you had learned how to discern the sound of screaming caused by third-degree burns from that of the agonized cries brought on by the loss of a finger, a hand, an entire limb. All these torments and more, you had learned by heart. 

And yet you think that this may be the worst of all. 

It's the unpredictability, you think; the fabric over your eyes is heavy enough that even the harsh industrial fluorescents in John's workspace can't penetrate it, and the silicone plugs in your ears block out even your own voice. You suppose that's a good thing, maybe – after he's brought you to the edge just to let you down thrice now, you're sure you must sound absolutely pathetic. Your chest heaves with staggered, gasping breaths, your lips stinging with the imprints of your teeth.   

It would be easier if he'd restrained your hands. He'd instructed you not to touch yourself, or him, and you hadn't – but your will is fraying with every passing second. You're so sensitive it hurts, threatening to tumble over the line from pleasurable to painful, even the circulating fans making you twitch and clench when the faint breeze finds its way between your thighs. Your fingernails dig into the seams of the chair beneath you so hard that you feel them pop. 

Bad enough that's he's worked you up and then abandoned you, but that's not the worst; no, it's the little touches in between that really break you down. John seems to have an uncanny ability to tell exactly when you've started to calm yourself down. Every time your breathing starts to slow and your trembling subsides, his hands are on you. Delicate touches, really no more than grazing over your skin – the ghost of his knuckles along your spine: fingertips tracing the arch of your cheekbone, teasing the plush of your bottom lip before flitting away: a gentle squeeze to the meat of your thigh. It's pathetic, how each tender brush of his hands makes your nerves spark. 

As if summoned by your thoughts, the pads of his fingers skim the curve of your shoulder, roughened from the long hours of planning and building. You suck in a stuttering breath, even that light touch sending a spasm of want through you. You think please, please, please and only belatedly realize your lips are moving. 

A pang of loss echoes in your chest when he pulls away, but before you can react his fingertips alight on your cheek instead, his thumb caressing the line of your jaw. You shudder with the effort of not pressing yourself desperately into his hand, letting him control the weight of his touch. It aches, tears threatening to dampen the fabric of your blindfold before you squeeze your eyes tightly shut. 

You feel the sigh of his breath on your skin, the knowledge of his proximity twisting beneath your ribs. When his other hand finds the line of your throat, cupping over your racing pulse, your lips part around some ragged, tremulous sound, your body singing at his touch. 

He guides you to lie against him, your temple tucked into the hollow of his throat, and the tears run freely down your cheeks. You’re breathless before he even deigns to slide a hand between your thighs, your spine arching taut at the first deliberate press of his fingers. Unthinking, you fist your hands tightly in the fabric of his sweater, praying he won't stop when you realize your transgression. 

Blessedly, mercifully, he doesn't. 

It takes embarrassingly little to bring you to orgasm; you don't think you've been in his arms longer than a minute or two before you spasm in his lap, spilling into his hand, nonsensical babbling that only John can hear streaming from your swollen lips. You're still shaking when he gently tugs the plugs from your ears, the influx of sound almost overwhelming. He keeps you blindfolded for a minute longer, guiding your hand to his chest so you can feel the slow, steady rise and fall of his breaths.

When you're able to match his rhythm he unties the cloth, cupping your face in his hand as you blink against the sudden light. Your skin feels sticky, trails of salt drying on your cheeks that he tenderly swipes away. His gaze is warm when you can focus on his face, the crow’s feet at the corners of his eyes crinkled with the curve of his thin lips. “You did very well, dear,” he says, pressing a kiss to the corner of your mouth. You think there must be no sound sweeter than the low rasp of his voice. “I'm proud of you.”

You beam.  

Later – after he’s washed the sweat and slick from your skin in a warm bath, curled against him in your pajamas with a water bottle and a steaming cup of tea – he asks, “Do you understand now why I say you need to learn patience?” 

You laugh, a radiant sound that starts deep in your chest. “I might need a few more lessons.”

[mishsymishy]

Digital circus/Reader

Angst¡¡ Part1-

-

( first ,If there is any language error please tell me, English is not my first language lmao , and I never write angst gonna be honest)

You can take it as platonic or romantic, although it is more romantic

Warnings!!!: A LOT OF ANGUST! , insecurity, bothering others, suicidal thoughts, self-blame, insanity, self-hatred.

You end up abstracted.

—

Ragatha¡

—She will definitely feel like it's her fault, Even if you became distracted by something else unrelated to her or your relationship with her, she will feel that she is guilty and will have a hard time thinking otherwise

—She won't reach the point of also falling into the madness (I hope), After knowing that you are the black thing with eyes, she will try to act as if everything is fine so as not to get more nervous, (failing in the attempt)

—Ponmi really cared about her, I mean, she lost her loved one ,her even saw her in the hallways talking to herself, many times stopping in your room with your photo crossed out.

—Little by little she will improve, although not completely, she will always have a void in her heart or mind, now feeling guilty of anyone who also abstracts

—She misses you too much, she misses her morning talks with you, she misses your voice and your touch.Her didn't sleep digitally because I was thinking about you, And she will spend days thinking about you again

-

Ponmi!

—She already has traumas, losing you would be like a double punch in the stomach. She will never be the same again, even if others try to help her, she is convinced that without you there is no point in even smiling. He feels guilty for not having been with you at that moment, she feels that she failed you at the worst moment.

—When they gave her the news, she already expected it, she didn't see you all day even if you told her yesterday that you were going to meet her to play some strange thing or try to remember things from back

— she wants to cry, but nothing comes out of her eyes ,Her pupils simply dilate every time she thinks about being with you again, you were her support .The reason she hadn't gone crazy yet

— She goes literally crazy, isolates herself from everyone and starts trying to find a way out sooner or even tries to convince herself again that everything is a dream no matter how real it all was, she laughs to herself and starts not even paying attention even Ragatha and no one

—

Jax!

-Firts think it's a joke, that they want to get revenge on him for the jokes using you.Don't believe anyone even if they are panicked or gleeful about abstraction.I mean, you were fine..right? He saw you very well the last time he see you, it doesn't even make sense.

—He stands still when he sees everyone gathered..and you missing, watching as Caine takes the abstraction to the basement, saying your name in a really dramatic sigh.

He don't believe it ,he doesn't want to believe it.

—Feel bad for Ganglee, because now he is going to bother twice as much and with more pain , even taking her mask and breaking it into pieces in front of her face.

He's twice as serious and doesn't even smile that shit-eating smile anymore, not even when someone falls or starts to descend into madness. Just making practical jokes to annoy and get revenge for everything with everyone.

—If someone else abstracts themselves, he will feel proud but also painful, as if it were revenge for taking you away from him (Even if it is not the fault of others, he will think that others are to blame, especially Caine)

—He will secretly cry for your loss, wishing you were there to ask for your forgiveness and he alsowould secretly tell Caine that if he finds a way to fix the abstracted ones, you have to be the first one, And fuck the rest. he doesn't care anymore

—He carries his depressed and angry feelings towards other people, without caring about the consequences, he no longer even cares if he becomes an abstraction, or rather he doesn't even see the bad thing about that

-

Gangle!

—

-God, not even the happy mask can fix it, She will cry and sob every night , every hour, every moment. It's really fucked, because Jax will remind you of you at any second ,And it's not unintentionally.

_- Oh yeah.. s/o can fix it ..oh sorry_- Jax says, watching the mask hide in its ribbons as she runs away from him , crying quietly

—She will hide in her bands or cover her eyes every time someone tries to support her, she will feel bad for not being with you and leave you alone in the basement, although she doesn't know what's going on there , she knows that you probably don't want to be there and you're trapped there with people that you don't want. ( like her )

Thinking about that, she quickly panics, sobbing your name while tightly grabbing her happy mask and accidentally breaking it by crying ,and accidentally putting pressure on her mask. She cries more and runs to her room, again not even wanting to go on missions with the others to distract herself, don't want to see anyone any more. Even if it makes her abstract. She could make company there. They are totally not going to notice her disappearing.. she is no one on the team, no one cares about her like you did.

—

I need to study so I split this in two

Byebye people , don't cry and be happy , yay.

[spicymambaae]

Y'all, I’m going through it…

So yesterday, I went to my capoeira class, right? I’m out there busting Tekken moves, legs in the air and all that shit until I slipped, and my ass landed in the splits...and HEL-fucking-VETE my pussey FELT that fall! By the evening she was kinda numb but I figured pft it's gonna pass.

So this morning my gf and I woke up in the mood for a little morning fuck, alright, but shit still felt like ain't right... and when I tell you she's just closed? Like SEALED SHUT??? The pain? Fucking excruciating!

So I went to see my doc, and yeah, you guessed it—I busted my fucking cooch 🙂

Now I have to go through physical therapy…

Well... and lots of masturbation to recover lmao guess that’s the only upside 😭

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 1 thoughts

bouncing. bouncing up and down. off of the walls. this episode was SO good. thank you. everyone say thank you, chris carter. thank you for fainting scully, tomato lover scully, doctor scully, crying mulder, plotting mulder, breaking and entering mulder, and for skinner in general.

but back to who i was before yesterday... allow us to return to past juni.

it’s been 800 years… (and by that i mean a week and 2 days have passed since i last watched an episode)

we left off in a pretty… precarious position. so i’m interested to see where things go from here. and hopefully they will be less stressful.

but i’m so happy to be back! i swear once i finish this show i’ll have to quit my job. there will be nothing to get me through LMAO.

it sounds like mulder is going to do some breaking and entering… again, fork spotted in kitchen

how the HELL did he fake his own death… this is giving sherlock!!

god, hearing her voice trembling again as she talks about identifying his body… i did not need to relive this pain!!

so we go back to him crying and watching alien stuff on his couch the night before her big meeting

“an act of faith began with an ineloquent certainty that my journey promised the chance not just of understanding, but of recovery” <- oh… so he admits to the whole thing being about healing…

and he says that he hoped finding the truth would reunite him with his sister, which i KNOW he was thinking all along, but hearing him SAY IT is still devastating; the way he never actually said it aloud before was very impactful, and so is his decision to break that vow of silence

“a belief which i now know to be false and uninformed in the extreme” <- NOOO please do not give up my king… i do not entirely believe this kritshcgau fool

he’s sobbing. he's so pretty when he sobs even if it is sad.

“my folly revealed by facts which illuminate both my arrogance and self-deception” <- oh no… i wanted him to Realize he was being Like That... but not in this way…

so he picks up the gun, saying it would be easier to end this journey if the pain had just been his own… and oh my god......

but then the phone rings… and it’s kritshcgau? he’s trying to explain that he might have been followed after leaving his apartment, but mulder does not give a FUCK LMAO

he wants to know who this man is and if they really gave scully cancer because of him. understandable.

he’s looking around for bugs in his room as he is warned of what’s going on…. and he finds one on the ceiling!! and not the insect kind, the camera kind!!!

mulder finds someone upstairs watching him on camera and burning stuff, but then this mystery guy picks up his shotgun and shoots mulder??? maybe?? it’s hard to tell??? strategic cutoff??

(i assume it’s shotgun guy from before, but frankly i don’t remember what his face looked like, so. listen! a lot can happen in a week and two days)

ah, it feels so nice to be watching the intro again. nature is healing… and by nature i mean me.

scully gets home at midnight, checking her voicemail… she starts to get undressed for bed

“keep going, FBI woman” <- WHAT THE FUCK. 

IT’S MULDER??? she’s soooo GAGGED LMAOOO THE LOOK ON HER FACE???? i’m howling 

MULDER BABY YOU CANNOT JUST SAY THAT WHEN YOU BREAK INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE. BAD BOY (sprays with water) (sprays with water) (sprays with-

“mulder? what are you doing? why are you sitting in my bedroom in the dark?” <- a VERY reasonable question!!!!

he says there’s a dead guy in his apartment. she’s had ENOUGH of his shenanigans, and he clarifies that he is NOT joking

he had been under surveillance for at least 2 months!!!!! that is freaky omggg… god only knows what they saw him doing

he says that he can’t talk to anyone at the bureau because this whole hoax leads back to the FBI!!!

HOLD ON PAUSE. WHY THE FUCK DOES SCULLY HAVE A POSTER OF DIFFERENT TOMATOES ON HER APARTMENT WALL. HOLD ON I’M FUCKING CRYING. STOP. THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY. oh my gooood. 

she saw a poster of tomatoes and said you know what? this would look FANTASTIC in my apartment. 

god, scully, you truly are the best character of all time. i had no idea you felt so strongly about the humble tomato. 

i cannot complain about anything else that happens in this episode, i’m out of breath from laughing. oh my god. this is gonna get me through so much. tomorrow i’m gonna go to work and a customer is gonna yell at me and i’m just gonna smile thinking about scully’s tomato poster.

i don’t even really remember what was happening. 

okay, right, so the guy whose apartment was above mulder’s, he was destroying records of himself calling the FBI. so who in the FBI was he calling?? and must it be the one who is behind all of this??

“i will not allow this treason to prosper- not if they’ve done this to you” he says <- OKAYYYY!!! protective man is in his protective mode 🔥 you truly do LOVE to see it. it’s almost as good as scully in doctor more but let’s be honest, nothing can ever beat that.

ohhh, he says they can lie back to them!!!! sneaky sneaky man... your fox-like nature is showing

so it was HIS IDEA to have her come and make the ID on his "body" even though it was false!!??

so she was ACTING in that meeting??? WAS SCULLY A THEATRE KID?? because she sold that for real!!!!

he’s going on about how he’s asking her to lie so they can find out who this enemy from within is….

scully runs into skinner after identifying the body, who asks if it’s true that mulder is really dead, and she lies, saying yes. he wants to know if she’s okay, and she pulls the “i don’t know what to say” card, which is entirely understandable.

he asks how she made the ID if he died from a shot to the head, so she says she saw him earlier that morning and he was wearing the same clothes. and there’s a look skinner has into the distance as he tries to determine how and why they would have seen each other before 6:30 am. like you could see the gears turning in his head as if he was saying omg, so they WERE together this whole time. it’s comical, in a way. 

which also leads me to wonder, well i’m no expert in these things, but if you know someone long enough, wouldn’t you recognize them even sans face? by body alone? 

he says he’s very sorry. and when she tries to leave he very sternly calls out “agent scully >:| section chief blah blah blah thinks you’re hiding stuff” (paraphrased obviously)

skinner looks SOOO suspicious of whatever she's plotting lmaooo. and he is right to be!

meanwhile, a very alive mulder is going to the department of defense to scout some advanced research using the dead guy’s ID!! ooooo high stakes, high stakes!!!! he's narrating that if they’re busted, they’re done for good!!

now scully is in the office with the section chief. and he’s talking about someone from the DOD giving her classified information. 

they ask her for information and she’s clearly hiding stuff…. but she identifies kritshcgau!!! omg i didn't think she was going to!!

uh oh… kritshcgau sees mulder in the DOD!! “hey! how’d you get in here?” “through the front door” <- lmao he can never be serious!!

kritshcgau tells mulder to come with him… is this a trap??? 

he’s gagged because that card gives mulder LEVEL FOUR CLEARANCE which i take is a BIG DEAL

yes, it is, because it would give him access to EVERYTHING!! even the thing he wants most of all… the cure for scully’s cancer!! you can see the tears forming in his eyes at the thought… oh man. ohhh mulder…

cancer man has burst into mulder’s apartment… now what are you doing here, you freak???

OHHHH he finds a photo of mulder and samantha on his desk when they were kids... ohhhh... my heart 😭😭😭😭😭

(there’s also some art on the wall of mulder's apartment that i can’t make the details out on. one piece seems to be some sort of pastoral scene with a sheep in it? and the other seems to be abstract. does anyone know what they are? i mean, it’s no tomato poster. but still)

CSM is actually crying seeing this photo and the blood he presumes to be mulder's on the carpet, and i don’t know if he feels genuine sadness or is just heartbroken his decades long alien colonization plan has been thwarted. honestly i do think he’s sad about mulder. he seemed to be in love with both mr. and mrs. mulder tbh, and that can do things to a guy. 

he finds the secret ceiling camera...

scully is in mulder’s office now, calling someone. she pulls out the phone number shotgun guy had been calling!! holly answers it and says she is so sorry to hear about what happened to mulder…. but scully has no time to talk about these things

who is this holly? how does she know scully? are they friends? i need the backstory.

scully… you are so beautiful…. holding this paper and calling holly on the phone, telling her when the calls were placed so she can track down who shotgun man called a million times…..

OH GOD!!! IT’S SKINNER’S EXTENSION!!!

scully looks devastated by this… but just as she begins to process it all, the scientist calls her back about the ice!! she has so much on her mind, please do not make her come look at some damn ice 😭

now, i do not believe that skinner is really behind all this. if he is involved at all, it is because he made that deal with CSM to try and save her... and maybe he was tricked, but he did NOT do it willingly!

kritshcgau and mulder are talking about level four, which apparently a place and not just a classification, and is home to medical facilities!! and vast quantities of DNA storage!! from every person who has ever given blood or tissue since ww2!!! 

damn that’s crazy. how tf would you even store all that?? it’s gotta be a warehouse.

he’s saying this is the hoax into which mulder was drawn…. the US fanned the flames of UFO stories to draw attention away from the whole “mutually assured destruction” thing, which, well, not sure how well that worked out 

OPPENHEIMER MENTIONED‼️him and that damn hat…

(actually still haven’t seen that movie btw. sorry i guess. idk. i’m busy)

KHRUSHCHEV APPEARS ‼️i love to see a familiar face from my textbooks in my TV programs. it's like a crossover event.

kritshcgau says the business of america isn’t business at all, it’s war. well yeah. that is true. and the cold war was an excuse to keep spending military money with no war. which i guess that sort of maybe tracks??

writing off korea and vietnam as just countries squaring off “a few times” is kinda crazy, but his point is: no one used the big bomb.

mulder asks what we are all thinking: what does this have to do with UFOs?

well, let kritshcgau tell you, son. after roswell, the more the government denied about UFOs, the more the public believed them, which was great timing for a country developing supersonic flight

oooo, he claims they almost got caught in korea, as they were accused of using germ warfare. but it’s nothing like what they have now, like what was used for the gulf war, developed in this very building! (said with a very dramatic flourish)

this is a lot of world building at a breakneck pace, and i don’t even know if i’m supposed to believe any of it. maybe some secret top percentage of the government thinks this is true, and the tiny syndicate knows it actually isn’t. that’s my best guess.

the abductions actually did happen, he clarifies, but not by aliens. hmm. a top secret project. well without aliens what's the point?

kritshcgau says it’s about DNA control. but for what purpose???

mulder asks, why make a whole fake alien body for all this then? and kritshcgau says because scully wouldn’t have been alive to disprove the alien body if their timing had been correct!!! so he would have believed it, then they could discredit him!

kritshcgau also says his son coming back sick from the gulf war is his retribution for going along with all of this, and he's thinking there’s a cure for him somewhere in there. well i think the whole gulf war disease and advanced cancer are very different. but maybe they both have secret cures?

off mulder goes, into level 4, taking one last look at kritshcgau, who is immediately apprehended by the DOD for questioning!!!! i feel that this will be the last we see of him.

cutscene to someone racing a horse?? is it bestie well groomed man?? and his many horses??

no!! it’s the department chair guy meeting with CSM!!! CSM is pissed that he didn’t know someone was watching mulder, but the chairman denies it.

he is even MORE pissed about being cut out of this project; “i CREATED mulder” <- okay so that is not putting out the “CSM is actually his father” allegations

chair guy says that mulder is dead

OHHH BUT CSM SAYS “i’ve never underestimated mulder. i still don’t” <- DAMN!!! that’s absolutely wild… i guess it’s important to know your opponent, and how willing they would be to fake their death, and if they could pull it off or not

(CSM angrily leaves)

back to scully at the ice core guy’s lab. and again, oh my god, she’s beautiful. no no no i don’t want to hear about fetal bovine serum. what the hell does that even mean. go back to her beautiful face.

he put the junk from the ice core in the serum... the cells were dividing… into somatic development?? the beginning of a life form. she looks shocked by this, but again. idk what that means!

bleugh, the ice core sample creature... it looks ugly…….

mulder’s snooping about the level 4 area, but the DOD people are behind him, and none of the doors have opened!!! he says that if they find the cure, it will mean for sure that he has believed in a lie from the start. well, i don’t think that’s true necessarily. i mean, the abduction thing could be from an alien-government collaboration, or aliens could still be out there, just not involved with this one thing, you know?

he picks a lock (okay!! crazy skyrim reference) and finds himself in a very dark room. and i am attracted to him. don't worry about it. anyway, whatever he sees seems to shock him???

cut to a TON of CGI aliens on cots LMAO WHAT???? just laying out n about 😭 it had to smell so bad in there… i imagine aliens smell very bad

now this alien closest to him has been lovingly crafted with practical effects, which is much better. so we can see his slime. that is not the part that is better, the slime visibility; its just that practical effects look more visually convincing in such a case

scully is narrating that she had no way to reach him and talk about their discovery of an unidentified life form. which is what happens when you fake your death and go in the secret medical facility of doom.

why is he TOUCHING the nasty alien body???? EUGH!!!!!!

scully is pondering if this thing she found in the serum could be the proof of an alien or the proof of a hoax… a lot of big questions for her to handle here 

he sees some flashing lights deep in the secret corridor, and follows it…. a whole lot of strobe light action going on in here. that stuff doesn't even bother me and i was like damn, that was a lot. i imagine it was much worse for the people who already have issues with bright lights.

she says that maybe this thing in the ice core sample is biologically connected to her cancer?? 

how does this connect to all of those half-alien, half-human people they found back in arizona??!!

beautiful man is looking through the window… 

OH MY GOD HE SEES A BUNCH OF WOMEN BEING SCANNED????? WITH BRIGHT FLASHING LIGHTS?? oh man.... WHAT IS GOING ON???? what are they DOING??

what did they call it before?? inducing mega ovulation?? yikes.

BLEUGH. i paused here as scully was getting blood drawn. i am woozy. how do they fake that for filming??

she needs a southern blot, btw. if that means anything to you. to compare that culture to her own DNA.

belaughhh. she needs the match before 7. he says we can’t do that.

“it’s got to happen. everything in my life depends on it” <- YOU TELL HIM!!!

he has no idea wtf that means but is taken aback by her seriousness

NOW WHY IS SKINNER WATCHING THIS????

OHHH SHE GOES OUT AND CONFRONTS HIM!! “is this more dirty work you’re doing for the DOD??” <- OHHHHH she is NOT HOLDING BACK

he says he has the tests from the body they found in mulder’s apartment on his desk; he knows it isn't him!!! and as she compounds the lies, she compounds the consequences!!!!

OHHHHH THAT WHOLE SCENE WAS SOOOOO JUICY I’M GONNA TEAR OUT MY HAAAAAIR

“all lies lead to the truth, isn’t that right?”

“and what about your lie, agent scully? what does it lead to?”

“the truth- about the men behind what happened to me, about my abduction and the tests, about being exposed to something against my will, about being put on a table and having something implanted in me and then having my memory stolen, only to have it returned along with a disease that i was given.” (ohh she was getting more and more furious as she said this and it was SO good)

“is that your justification? if that what you’re going to tell the joint panel tonight?”

“are you afraid of that?” <- OHHH her mocking and accusatory tone… i need it bottled

“well, considering the dead man in mulder’s apartment was murdered in cold blood and you willfully misidentified him, yes, i am afraid. but i’m only afraid for you” (<- and i do believe him, that he is scared to watch her proceed in this way, almost recklessly, even though it's calculated)

“you’re going to use that against me, aren’t you? you’re going to use me as i’ve been used all along- to preserve the lies”

“where is agent mulder?”

(she walks away)

WOOO baby, that scene was ACTING!! the tight closeups on their face was crazy, and it def could have backfired had they not been so freaking talented. every microexpression spoke a thousand words. i feel energized just watching it!!

jumping up and down. jumping up and down. we are sooooo back.

ohhh she goes into the lab herself to do the testing… in her lab coat… and her goggles… spinning the blood around… i’m faint…

meanwhile, mulder's walking through some weird pipes?? 

AUGH, there’s something IN HER BLOOD WATER, and she says it could be a connection between the conspirators and the cancer in her blood…. well to me it looks like a worm

he finds a new secret door and enters with a hand in his pocket, looking around... tension!!!

she’s ready to blow open this whole conspiracy!! ooooo you'd better stand back and watch it happen!

(they’re narrating all of this because this is a tv show and that is how an audiovisual media works, but i find it funny to imagine them speaking into a voice recorder as they describe their highly illegal activities)

he reaches the end of the mystery space and finds a ton of filing cabinets??? so he’s going to the scully file. he finds hers!!! it is a paper with a bunch of letters on it. which clears up nothing

and he pulls one out for kritschgau’s son as well!!! but it looks like his is blank???

someone from the DOD calls CSM to say that “scott” (mulder with the dead guy's ID card) made his way into the pentagon!! so he’s off to go find him. stay away from him, freak...

scully is rolling some sort of paper after soaking the mixture of stuff from her blood. you’re confused, i’m confused, i’m fascinated as to how this was explained for filming purposes, but here we are

“if my work with agent mulder has tested the foundation of my beliefs, science has been and continues to be my guiding light” <3

“now i’m again relying on its familiar and systematic methods to arrive at a truth- a fact that might explain the fate that has befallen me”

i love that she sees science as familiar and systematic; she really seems to be someone that values those aspects of stability, of knowing what can and cannot be true, and as the world grows more and more complex as they unravel the conspiracies, she turns to what she knows she can rely on. it reminds me in a way about how she values the comfort of a home, of the known, of what can be experienced and understood. she seems to thrive on that sort of knowledge, and i relate to it. something steady to keep her afloat, you know? it also speaks to her rigidity in following the rules. there is order and structure that maintains things, and that can be a great comfort, or a terrible hindrance if it is used for evil. but she, deep down, believes that there still is fundamental good. the rules, the science, the facts, the comfort of them all. it’s a terribly scary world; her biggest fear is what others are capable of. of course there is comfort in the known and the material. i like that a lot.

she hopes to match the virus from the mystery organism to the stuff in her cells, which would mean that her cancer has a cause, even if a cure is unknown! and maybe then they could find a cure to the virus thingy...? is this wishful thinking??

“if science serves me to these ends, it is not lost on me that the tool which i’ve come to depend on absolutely cannot save or protect me, but only bring into focus the darkness that lies ahead” <- hey. hey ouch. pain.

i refuse to consider such a possibility. there are too many more seasons ahead.

back to mulder in the labyrinth, looking for stuff that matches the numbers on her card. ough… why does his hair look so good…

anyway, he finds some sort of liquid

OH scully has done it!!! she’s mixed her DNA with the viral DNA from the cell!! oh, the ice core doctor guy is SHOCKED to learn that she has stuff in her that was also in the CANADIAN ALIEN MOUNTAINS!!

she explains that she believes she was exposed to this material that gave her an illness… and when he asks what kind, all she says is that it cannot be cured. damn. that was very dark.

so mulder finds this little vial of stuff with the specific numbers on it?? in a tiny tiny little bottle?

is it shots shots shots shots time??

he’s leaving from the pentagon, and in a voice over monologue, points out that he is as dependent upon her as she is upon him for the cure!!! as now she must convince the committee of her story!!!

she goes into the meeting room, bracing herself…. and she begins where we began in the last episode!!!! and now we know WHY she is reporting on the illegitimacy of his work!! ah, it is sweet relief to know there was no backstabbing between them

mulder is trying to sneak out… but his card swipe isn’t working…. and the military guys enter!!! 

can he play it cool?? can he beat them in a fight??? well, it FINALLY works, and one thing he can do is run!! and he manages to!!!!

GASP! CSM sees mulder leave, and says to let him go!! he seems almost relieved to see mulder alive and with this mystery liquid

and scully’s doing her oscar-winning performance about identifying a body. an absolute serve.

but skinner comes in just as she says this…. 

her eyes are filled with tears as she pulls out the evidence… (which is just two lines on paper, but you KNOW she is going to explain it)

and she notes that the whole thing was “planned and executed by someone in this room”, seeming to blame it all on skinner… oh my god…

OH MY GOD SHE’S STARTING HER PRESENTATION AND HER NOSE STARTS TO BLEED???

SHE FAINTS?????? and SKINNER CATCHES HER????

she looks at him and says “you…..” before passing back out <- WHAT DID SHE WANT TO SAY TO HIM??!??!?!?!?!

mulder is with the lone gunmen analyzing the mystery liquid…. and it’s water??

hold on, i had to rewatch her fainting and skinner catching her… how he starts to hold her face but stops himself… the way she says “you” so quietly… and then she loses consciousness again… oh my god… to be caught by the person she thinks is killing her… 

and skinner… i don’t believe for a minute that he is behind this. how hurt he must be at her accusations, his terror in watching her march ahead recklessly and lie to these people who would kill her in a heartbeat, and actively ARE killing her, and he was the one that made the deal with the devil to try and get this to stop happening, but what if he’s only advanced the work of the devil and got nothing out of it for himself…? and she doesn't even trust him!!!!

i rewatched that scene 4 times. and it was amazing during each of them.

and mulder… with his water… mystery water in vials… what can it do?? is it really just water?? why tf would the government hide vials of water with incredibly specific numbering deep in the pentagon. i don't buy it.

oh man, we are SOOOOOO back!!!!! i am bouncing off the walls. i cannot WAIT to learn what happens next. the angst here was EXQUISITE.

i’m such a sucker for angst involving mulder/scully and skinner. it’s going to get me EVERY time. over and over and over again. it just punches me in the gut. and all the other stuff punches me in the gut too, but this one has a certain je ne sais quoi factor about it; is it the mentor/mentee relationship of it all?? the way they care about each other but don’t know how to express it?? how they go from being willing to die and to kill for each other and then suddenly that trust is entirely removed, back and forth, back and forth? oh, it’s like CATNIP to me.

scully fainting and him catching is already going to be on my list of favorite moments, i know it, i know myself too well.

AUGHHHHHAUAGGHHHHRAUGGHHHHHAUGHHHHHH i LOVE THIS SHOW see it can be SO GOOD WHEN IT WANTS TO BE!!!!!!!!!

the trickery!! the plotting!! the deception!! the mysteries within mysteries!!! i still think the aliens are real though!! what are they doing with those women?? giving then alien DNA so they can steal their eggs to make alien babies?? what is that oil stuff in mulder?? and where does krycek fit into this??? and again, those half alien things in arizona?? don’t tell me!! don’t tell me because i am excited to learn!!!

YEAHHHHH!!!

[writingreadinglurkingandsmirking]

But I Shine So Bright - Rafe Cameron x Reader

Dear Reader Duology: Part 1, Part 2

Summary: You wake up hungover from the previous night’s party, and are struck with the realization of the conversation you’d had with Rafe prior. You decide that, yes, you should actually have that conversation with him sober like he’d suggested. So, that’s what you two do. Word Count: 5.1k+ TWs/CWs: Adult/profane language, she/her pronouns used for reader, brief descriptions of a hangover, OOC Rafe in that he's only a little crazy and is actually willing to admit he was wrong, unrealistically fast relationship re-establishment, Rafe still wants to kill that guy lol, bad example of a healthy relationship but hi this is Rafe be so for real here, Rafe obviously has pretty privilege Note: Yeah so I just decided to do the part 2 lmao so here she is. And now it has me thinking Thoughts about doing more Dear Reader inspired fics for OBX babes...like a Dear Reader duology collection sounds like a fun little project hehehe

Waking up was more painful than you’d anticipated. When you’d gone out, you never intended to get that drunk. Decidedly, you’d drank more than you had in a long while. A stupid choice all around, but especially stupid considering you didn’t have the built-in protection of…him anymore. Your girlfriends had dutifully tried to slow you down, but you didn’t listen to them.

Fuck’s sake, even his friends had tried to stop you. To be fair, they’d been more successful. Yes, the first memory you woke up to was Topper and Kelce, your ex-boyfriend’s best friends, stopping you from doing a fucking keg stand. And that was just something special considering you knew damn well that you’d been wearing a skirt with nothing underneath. So clearly your night had been just full of good choices.

“God,” you groaned, rolling over on your side. Your eyes landed on a water bottle on the side of your bed. You blinked once, twice, a third time, and then lurched up into a sitting position. “Shit.” While the sudden movement made you nauseous for a moment, you managed to resist the urge to vomit. You scrambled for your phone. It was noon already. Fuck. You saw that a group chat with your friends had blown up and you had a slew of other texts.

Where the hell did you go?

Why did Topper come tell us that fucking RAFE took you home??

Hello?? Girl what the hell are you thinking?

You better call us and tell us that you’re safe.

Dude you better not fucking sleep with him I swear to God I am SO serious.

Be like Dua Lipa and remember the new rules bitch.

Be safe I swear to GOD bestie I’ll fuck you up if you get hurt.

If you fuck him you better not let him hit raw.

BYE don’t let him hit AT ALL.

“Shit,” you hissed.

You’d thought you’d had a dream that Rafe had been the one taking care of you. A pleasant dream minus the blubbering you’d been doing. But no. It turns out you actually had been blubbering on him. On the ex who left you for no reason and with no discernible guilt outwardly shown. This just had to be a joke. It had to be. The pit in your stomach wasn’t from the aggressive hangover, it was literally just the dread that had an iron grip on you. Looking down at your phone again, you saw a text from Kelce of all fucking people too.

Lmao I know you’re gonna be hurting this morning but let me or Top know if Rafe did anything stupid yesterday and we’ll beat the shit out of him fr.

You couldn’t help but let out a high-pitched, borderline hysterical laugh at the very idea. You run a hand down your face, grateful that Rafe had forced you to take the makeup off the night before. You felt sick and awful and still somehow better than you had before. It was pathetic somehow, on some level, that spending even an hour with Rafe had the ability to make you feel so much better and so much worse all at once. So, with trembling hands, you made a move to answer.

First, to your friends.

Not yall acting like you don’t have my location. I got home safe. Nothing happened fuck off.

You then immediately silenced the group chat so you wouldn’t have to deal with it. You looked at Kelce’s and cringed, letting your fingers move.

Yeah definitely got a hellish hungover. Thanks for keeping me from doing a keg stand like a dumbass last night btw? Idk what the fuck that was about. And nah, Rafe didn’t do anything. Even if he did you wouldn’t win that fight, Kelce, be so fr lol.

The response from him came quickly.

Ah, she lives. Well, you didn’t choke on your vomit so that’s good. And hurtful, I could definitely beat him.

You rolled your eyes.

Yeah, maybe if he were tied to a chair bro. But fr, thank you for helping me out. Thank Top too for me btw.

The response took longer this time. And was punctuated by an immediate follow-up.

Course. I’ll let him know. You’re still our friend. We weren’t gonna let you get that messed up.

You should talk to your boy though. Let him know you’re good. Pretty sure he’s worried about you.

You bit your lip. Instead of replying, you instead closed that text thread and looked back to the rest of your messages. But, you were thrown for a loop when you saw Rafe’s name appearing at the top, texting you just now. You weren’t proud of it, but you had to throw yourself from your bed and empty your stomach. You blamed the hangover, but you also knew that the anxiety of facing him after the night before was nerve-wracking enough to be the culprit alone.

Once you finally cleaned yourself up, you felt a bit more human again. Only then did you return to your phone. You stared at it for a few minutes before even daring to pick it up. Then, you stared at your background - still a picture of you and Rafe, one where his smile was so big from a laugh that it crinkled the corners of his eyes and you had buried your face in his neck while also laughing. You hated that you hadn’t changed it yet, but every single time you tried to, you couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You put the phone down again.

Sighing, you reached over and grabbed the water bottle he had left you. Then you noticed he’d also left out some meds for you to take. Not letting yourself think about it or the way it turned your stomach, you took the pills and drank the water completely before letting yourself even think about your phone again. At least that was the lie you spun yourself, ignoring the way that the stupid piece of technology wove through every thought and every damn breath you took.

In an effort to pretend like that wasn’t true, you walked down to your kitchen and got a Liquid I.V. knowing damn well that Rafe would be telling you to if he were here. And, yeah, even now, the little things he did to show he cared still stuck to your bones. You hated it. Or, at least you hated that he wasn’t actually here. Some days it was hard to tell which was true and which was the lie. You wanted him, you didn’t, you wanted him, you didn’t. You definitely did—that was the truth and you knew it.

Steeling yourself, you eventually went back upstairs and picked your phone back up. Clicking Rafe’s name, you were fully prepared to ignore whatever the message was like you knew you should if you were going to get over him. But somehow, you could feel the familiar love and affection punching you in the gut.

Take the pills I left. Drink some liquid iv or whatever if you have it. Don’t forget to eat.

You inhaled shakily, thinking if you should even respond or not, worrying at your lip and tapping your fingers anxiously against your knee. But, as you did, another text came through from him.

Lmk if you need anything.

Short, sweet, and to the point.

You, your brain supplied unhelpfully. I just fucking need you.

You thought about the night before. About the words he said. About the stark honesty in his voice that you hadn’t heard in months from him. You thought about the simple promise he made. He said that you could talk about it when you were sober if you still wanted to. Did you want to? Yes. So, before you could talk yourself out of it, you clicked his contact to call him and brought the phone to your ear.

“You okay?” were the words that Rafe greeted you with. Not hello. Just concern.

“I…yeah. I’m fine,” you said when your brain finally caught up with you again. “I…thanks for getting me home. You know, and everything else too,” You paused for a moment, finishing with, “You really didn’t have to do all that.”

“Of course I did,” Rafe said, sounding surprisingly serious. “I’d never leave you like that. Ever.”

“I’m sorry I was such a mess,” you said, reflexively apologizing. “And sorry I was like…pawing at you like some animal.”

Rafe let out a dry sort of chuckle that betrayed he was at least slightly amused by some of your antics the night prior. It made your heart flutter, which just felt utterly ridiculous. He made a noncommittal noise. “I just wanted to make sure you, you know, were good.”

“No. Seriously, I can’t imagine how much worse that would’ve gotten without you there. So really, uh, thanks. I was…not thinking last night obviously,” you said. There was a pregnant pause over the phone and you realized how that sounded. “I mean I, like, really don’t drink that much!” You were rushing to clarify, anxious to make sure that Rafe knew you didn’t mean your conversation with him. “I seriously don’t even know how much I drank. I’m lucky I didn’t, like, die in my sleep.”

“I’ve seen you worse,” he said flatly. “You’d have been fine.”

“That’s when I had you, though,” you pointed out before you could stop yourself. You heard Rafe inhale sharply, saying your name but you cut him off. “Did you mean what you said?”

Rafe paused. “What?” he asked cautiously.

“That we can actually talk,” you clarified.

“Are you not too hungover for this?” Rafe asked, sounding tired already.

“No,” you said bluntly. “I want to talk to you.” You huffed out a sigh. “Rafe, I need to talk to you.”

You heard him let out a sigh of his own. “Yeah,” he said. “I know.”

“I want to do it in person,” you said, willing to push your luck here. “I don’t want to do this on the phone. I want to see your face so I know if you’re lying to me.”

Rafe gave a similar sort of dry chuckle to before. “Have never lied to you, Princess, but sure. Fine. Today?” he asked shortly.

“Yes,” you agreed. “Today. I think waiting two months was long enough.” Rafe didn’t rise to the bait, which you were partially glad for and partially disappointed by. “How about we meet at the country club at like…six?”

“You want to do this in front of people?” Rafe asked, surprised.

“No. We’ll go down to the beach. Just easier to meet there,” you said vaguely.

The reality was the country club gave you a way to chicken out last minute that the beach didn’t. At the country club, you could hide in a bathroom. On the beach, unless you were planning on drowning yourself or burying yourself in the sand you were stuck with him.

“Okay, Gorgeous,” he said lazily, the nickname slipping easily from his tongue. “Do you want me to pick you up or…”

“I’m good,” you denied. “I’ll get there.”

“See you later then,” he said.

“Okay. See you,” you said, hurriedly hanging up before you said something stupid like I love you or just tell me now why you left me.

You spent the next few hours panicking about what you’d just done, torn between hating yourself for making that choice and being relieved that it was finally happening. You gave all of your friends in your group chat a short version of your plan. You were met with a mixture of approval and disapproval from everyone—mostly born of a desire to make sure that you were alright. They offered to come and do recon so you’d have an easy out, but you denied the need. Then, they offered to come and slash his truck tires, which you declined just like you had the first hundred times they’d offered over the past two months. After that, they settled and just insisted that you text them an update later to let them know what was going on. It was easy enough to agree to.

You make your way to the country club a little bit before six and were shocked to see Rafe already waiting there. He was sitting at the bar, knee bouncing with anxiety, tapping at an empty glass in front of him. His eyes met yours, and just for a moment, you froze in place. Slowly, you drifted over to his side and were pleasantly surprised to see that he appeared entirely sober.

“Hey,” he greeted when you found words hard to formulate.

“Hi, Rafe,” you replied after a few breaths.

He looked you up and down, an undercurrent of amusement passing through his eyes. “I’d ask if you want a drink but I have a feeling that you’d rather swallow a bucket of sand right now,” he said.

You nodded, grimacing. “Pretty much,” you confirmed. You glanced towards the door. “Wanna…go?”

God, how could this be so fucking awkward? you asked yourself. This was the man you fell in love with and knew like the back of your hand and still somehow this was wildly uncomfortable like you didn’t know each other at all.

Rafe nodded slowly, rising to his feet. He gestured for you to go first, eyes habitually roaming around the room. They landed on the guy who had been touching you the night before at the party, gross hand on your leg as if he had any form of claim to you. Rafe felt his blood boiling for a moment and had to resist the urge to go and pummel the guy’s face in. It was hard for him, at least until the guy looked over, noticing Rafe. Immediately, the creep paled to a near-ghostly white shade. Satisfied by the obvious fear, Rafe offered the guy a condescending smile, with a harsh edge to it, teeth set. He put his hand on the small of your back as you walked, guiding you forward and opening the door for you as he went. As he passed through, his eyes did not separate from the guy’s until you had exited. The message was clear, even though you hadn’t even noticed the interaction at all.

She is Rafe Cameron’s, she is not available.

As you started to walk down to the beach, almost immediately, Rafe began to feel guilty for thinking that. He’d already done enough to hurt you in his eyes. But, then again, he couldn’t deny the part of him that desperately did want a second chance to reach that famous happy end. The kind that he knew only you could give him. The kind that only came with you beside him. No, he couldn’t ignore that part of him. It made up most of him. And he knew that it made up most of you too. And that was the part that made him loathe himself all the more.

On and on down the beach the pair of you walked, alternating between a few feet and barely a few inches between you. The silence continued on until you realized you didn’t even know how to approach this conversation. You sighed, stopping in your trek, evidently having decided you were far enough from other people to have this conversation now. 

“I don’t know how to even start this,” you admitted quietly. “I miss you. I meant that. I meant everything I said last night except that I hate you. I don’t. I wish I could, sometimes. But I don’t. I love you. And…and last night you said that you loved me too, still.”

“I do,” he said, shrugging, then setting his jaw to shut himself up.

“Then why are we doing this? When we love each other and we both want to be together? Why?” you asked, the words simple but desperate.

“You’re better off without me,” Rafe said, staring at the horizon, refusing to look at you.

“I’m not,” you denied. “And you’re not better without me either. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that either.” He’d been spending an egregious amount of his time high or wasted since your break up and it was impossible not to notice. Rafe glanced down at you and then back out over the water. The sky above you was morphing from its crystalline blue to the golden hues that promised night was coming soon. “I think we’re past lying to ourselves about that, don’t you? Or at least we should be.”

“I know that I’m not. But you are,” he reiterated. “I’m…an absolute fuck up. And I am only going to drag you down. That is all that I will ever be good for. You may not get that now. But you will.” He sighed and looked over at you. “I’m trying to do the right thing here, Princess.”

“Well look at that, wrong as usual,” you muttered, shaking your head. “You’re not any of that! You’re not a fuck up. You’re not going to drag me down. You are…” You gesticulated wildly, trying to have your brain magically summon the words to describe how you felt. You settled for shaking your head and gesturing around you. “You’re like a…like a fucking beacon or something.”

Rafe snorted. “Fuck me, if you think I’m some sort of guiding light you’ve lost it, Princess,” he said sharply. “I’m literally the opposite of that. I don’t…I don’t help people. I just hurt them.” He gestured towards you. “Look at my family. Look at my friends. Dragged them all down. And…I mean, just look at you. How could you think that I’m anything good anymore?” He shook his head. “No, just…no. I’m not.”

You groaned. “Stop talking about yourself like you’re some hideous monster that has to hide in the dark,” you insisted, voice growing louder. “You’re not. You’re just a man! That’s it! A fucking stupid man, who I love more than anything…who I hate to see tearing himself apart like he does. An absolutely idiotic man who I miss so much it hurts to wake up in the morning.” You deflated, shoulders slumping, and this time you were the one looking out over the water while Rafe stared intently at you. “I’m not better off without you.” From the corner of your eye, you saw Rafe’s hand run over the bottom half of his face while he shook his head. You saw him bring his hand towards his lips and your head whipped over to look at him. “Don’t bite your damn nails, when was the last time you washed your hands? You’ve touched doors and railings! This is a public beach!”

It was like a bubble of tension cracked at that and Rafe laughed. Honest to God laughed. Laughed like you hadn’t heard in months from him. Laughed in a way that made your heart flutter and your lips turn up. The laugh kept going like he couldn’t stop it, and before you knew it you were chuckling yourself, which morphed into a hysterical laugh. You swatted at his arm in the midst of your laugh, but he caught your hand and held it. After a few moments longer, you both stared at each other, calming down. His easy smile and the crinkle of his eyes disappeared, replaced by a frown and concern.

“You…you should really find another guiding light if that’s what you’re looking for. A real beacon. Someone you can count on,” he said.

“Rafe,” you said seriously, taking a step closer to him. “Look at me.” He sighed but met your eyes. You squeezed your still-joined hands and he looked down as if he’d forgotten you were even touching. “You kept me from making myself look like an idiot last night. You got me home when I actively was trying to make it difficult. You held me until I fell asleep. You owed me nothing and you did that. I didn’t even have to ask you to, fuck I didn’t even want you to be there, but you knew what was good for me. And you left out water and pills and then texted me in the morning.” You let out a short, weak laugh. “I don’t think that I can count on someone else more than you.” He looked at you as if to say your name without having to actually speak it and you rolled your eyes. “Tell me something. How often do you get second chances in life?”

Rafe looked away, tongue running over his cheek, and then he looked back. “More than I deserve,” he said shortly.

Again, you rolled your eyes. “Stop being a self-sacrificial bitch for a second,” you said. He looked at you, scandalized and you had to resist the urge to laugh, soldiering on with your point. “Tell me, without the shit, how often you get second chances in life for something that you really want?” 

“I don’t,” Rafe said after a moment.

“And yet here I am. And I know that you still want to be together. And I am trying to give us a second chance. Why are you trying to refuse it?” you demanded.

“Because you actually are a fucking beacon of light,” he snapped, hand flexing like he was about to squeeze yours but stopped himself. “And I don’t want to…to fucking ruin that. I would never forgive myself if I ruined you. If I…made that fucking light go out? No, I’d never forgive myself. And I don’t want to risk you like that. Ever. And considering I’m this fucking black hole of bullshit…that is definitely risking it.”

His words resonated as if they were a tuning fork that struck and vibrated at the exact frequency of your very soul. He sighed and let go of your hand. In your shock, you let him. He moved away a few steps and paced back and forth. This time, when he brought his nails to his lips, you didn’t speak for a moment. You saw the glint of tears in his eyes and you didn’t know if they were from frustration or from sadness—both most likely.

Your brain caught up with you after a few moments of just staring at him. You walked forward and took his hand away from his mouth, moving your hands to rest behind his neck, forcing him to stop moving. Reflexively, his hands landed on your hips, holding you rather firmly to ground himself. You played with the ends of his hair, waiting for him to measure his breath once more and meet your eyes with his own.

“You’re not a black hole, idiot,” you said fondly. “You are not an irredeemable monster. You’re just scared.”

Rafe’s jaw clenched and he looked away, then back again. “I’m not fucking scared. But if I were, Princess? It’d be for good reason,” he said. “I have a lot to lose if I keep fucking up.”

“Everyone does,” you pointed out. You moved one hand to cup his cheek. “For now, if you think that I’m some mythical fucking beacon of light, then let me do it for both of us…be it.” He shook his head, blinking away tears he didn’t want to fall. “Rafe…I can handle you being stupid. I can handle your fuck ups. I have this long. What I can’t handle is losing you.” He was silent and you shrugged. “Look at me and tell me that if I walked away right now and started dating someone else you’d be okay with that.”

His eyes snapped back to you, visibly disturbed and angry. “Fuck no,” he admitted, practically spitting the words out.

“Exactly,” you said softly. His hands moved slowly to wrap around your waist more, no longer just resting on your waist. “I know that there are things we have to work on. Believe me. But we make sense. We work together. Let’s try again, Rafe.” You took a deep, shaky breath. “If you tell me you don’t love me. If you don’t want this…I’ll walk away. I won’t bring this up…won’t bother you again.”

“No,” Rafe said immediately, more firmly than even the last time. “I do love you, of course I fucking do. And yes I want you.” His voice almost immediately became choked up. “I want us. I just…”

“Are the words you’re looking for ‘am scared?’” you suggested.

“No,” he denied, using what was obviously his new favorite word once more. “Not scared. Just…hesitant to risk hurting you.”

You gave him a flat look. “Rafe, is loving me worth the risk of me hurting you?” you asked.

“Yes,” he said. “I don’t care if you hurt me.”

“So then why can I not feel the same way about you?” you demanded. “It’s worth the risk. So let’s take it.”

“You’re more important than me,” he murmured, leaning your foreheads together, initiating the touch he obviously desperately craved.

The noise that escaped you was somewhere between a scoff and a snort. “That’s the dumbest thing you have ever said to me,” you declared. “And you told me that for two years you didn’t believe that dinosaurs were real.”

Rafe laughed, weak but true and a sweet sound to your ears. As he did so, he pulled back just enough that your eyes were able to meet. “I was a child,” he defended, a tiny smile on his lips.

“You were twelve,” you corrected. “You started high school not believing that dinosaurs existed. You had to take an earth science class to realize that fossils were real.”

Turning his head, Rafe moved one of his hands to your face, holding your cheek, just like you were doing to him. “Can I kiss you to stop you from making fun of me again?” he asked softly, eyes darting down to your lips and then back up. “Or is it too soon to tell you to shut up without being an ass?”

You smirked. “Don’t worry. I know you’re an ass,” you said, leaning forward.

He met you halfway, your lips brushing together. The kiss was soft at first, sweet and featherlight as if trying to ascertain if it was really happening. That didn’t last for very long though. Quickly, Rafe’s grip on you tightened and he pulled you closer and deepened the kiss. You happily let him take the lead, letting your hands travel to the back of his neck again, longing to just sink into his embrace. When you broke apart, you both were breathing unevenly, looking at each other with vulnerable gazes.

“I missed you,” you said, voice strangely shy considering who you were talking to and how well you knew him—not to mention the fact that his tongue had been practically down your throat moments earlier.

“I love you,” Rafe said. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead that lingered, then tipped your chin up to meet his gaze, his other hand keeping you pressed firmly to his body. “You gonna be my girl again, Gorgeous?”

Even though you rolled your eyes, your smile gave you away. “I never really stopped, did I?” you posed.

He hummed, half-frown on his face, and shrugged. “Dunno,” he admitted.

“I didn’t,” you said, wanting to wipe away the insecurity from him in one assurance even though you knew you couldn’t. “I never stopped. And, for the record, I love you too. Even though you’re a jackass.” You paused. “And a little bit on the stupid side.”

Rafe’s lips cracked back into a smile that grew into something far more relaxed. “Well that’s good to know,” he murmured. 

“You just have pretty privilege is all,” you murmured quietly, voice serious despite the words being joking. You looked at him as though you feared he might disappear. 

He stroked your cheek, wiping away a stray tear you hadn’t realized fell, and then reluctantly pulled away from you, forcing his hands into his pockets to keep from touching you. “We have a lot to talk about.”

“We do,” you confirmed. You offered him your hand. “Wanna go get something to eat and actually, you know, do that?”

Immediately, his hand was out of his pocket, and his fingers were laced with yours. “Yeah, Princess, I do,” he agreed. “Let’s go before it gets dark.”

“How could it get dark when I shine so bright as our beacon?” you asked, teasing, grabbing his arm with your free hand and squeezing it in a half-hug.

“Jesus Christ you’re lucky that you’re so damn easy to love,” Rafe said laughing. He pulled you closer, letting go of your hand in favor of throwing his arm over your shoulder. He pressed a kiss to your temple, lips lingering, his voice going serious this time. “I love you.”

“I know you do,” you assured him. “I love you too.” He nodded, still not moving away yet. “Come on, Cameron. Let’s get a move on here. You’ll be thrilled to know that I didn’t listen to you and drink or eat much of anything today, so I am desperately in need of water or something.”

Rafe groaned. “Of course you didn’t,” he said dryly. “Come on, can’t let my girl stay dehydrated or hungry.”

With that, he started pulling you back up the beach towards the country club. And, in the back of your mind, even with the lingering uncertainty and unsaid words, you felt better than you had in what felt like an eternity. You stared at Rafe’s face—your Rafe, your stupid, sweet, annoying, perfect boyfriend—as the golden hour’s light hit him. The angelic glow that it cast on his infuriatingly perfect face was always breathtaking. But, something about him at this moment, after being so vulnerable and honest, struck you differently. You took your phone out and snapped a picture of him before he could notice or refuse and smiled down at it, ignoring the delayed groan when Rafe realized you’d already captured it.

“Come on, Gorgeous,” he complained.

“Sorry, I just had to capture the day Rafe Cameron admitted he was wrong. It’s a historical event,” you said, grinning, sending the picture to your friend before turning the phone off wanting to focus only on him.

He rolled his eyes at the jab, but you were pleased to see the way that his lips twitched up in an amused smile. The sight lightened your heart and made your lips stretch into a wider version of your own smile you’d already been sporting. And in the slowly fading light of day, there were only two things that you were certain of.

Rafe didn’t give himself nearly enough credit.

You weren’t going to make the same mistake as him.

Taglist: @joselyn001 @caughtinthetides @proactivetypaperson @abbybarnesstuff @hotch-meeeeeuppppp @fangirlfree @antagonize-me-motherfucker

[generalpalacefishgoop]

Bad reveals to Pomme about Ron

[TRANSCRIPT]

2029629791

Ghostie :"What happened to Ron?"

Bad :"Um...poor Ron. We need to visit him. He's been alone."

Pomme :"Who?"

Bad :"Oh um, yeah Pomme, did I tell you about the federation worker that I kidnapped?-"

Pomme :"?????"

Bad :"-while you guys were kidnapped? Oh yeah, so uh basically I kidnapped a federation worker. Locked him in the basement in our house in a little dungeon and um.. fed him nice meals of chicken."

Pomme :"WHY THO"

Bad :"Oh yeah I was trying to get information, like I thought the Federation had kidnapped you. This was before it turned out that they hadn't kidnapped you....but I didn't know that was the case. So, in my defense......anyway...um point is, kidnapped him, held him in our house for a little bit.."

Pomme :"Nah fair enough"

Bad :"Yeah, that's what I'm saying, that's what I'm saying...then um basically....yeah...eventually...he kinda became family...and I let him go...well...that's not true, I didn't let him go, I still couldn't risk him like telling the Fed about what was going on...so uh....-"

Pomme :"Okay wdym family now 0_0"

Bad :"Yeah no he's kinda family now, but he's in a house somewhere. I put him in a little farm. That's not like a saying, like "put him on the farm" and meaning like I killed them, that's not what I mean, I put him on an actual tiny farm that's very cute, I built it. Um...and then lo and behold, got you guys back, showed him to Dapper, and uh yeah, they became "friends"-ish, I think. Eh yeah fun, its a fun little romp, but he's kinda been alone there for a while."

Pomme :"Can we really trust him? D:"

Bad :"Well...Pomme...that's kinda why...he's still...anyway that's kinda why...he is still...-"

Pomme :"mhm?"

Bad :"-on the farm, cuz can I really trust him, I mean I'm pretty sure I can...I don't think he would betray us, but the problem is Pomme, he gets kidnapped...by the Fed again...reveals like info...-

Pomme :"yeaaaaaaah"

Bad :"-about the location...about the fact that I kidnapped him...anyway it just creates this giant pain in the butt. That's just not worth it. So-"

Pomme :"kinda got yourself in annn interesting situation it's the least we can say"

Bad :"Yeah, he's gotta stay kidnapped for a liiiiitle bit longer. But I think he likes it, on one hand, I think he kinda likes being kidnapped um...nah that's not true he doesn't like it at all, um yeah its the least we can say. Exactly, its like "Hey buddy, as soon as we take down the Federation or they agree not to punish and/or kill me...well...try to kill me..for any wrongdoing, then we're golden!

Pomme :"lmao can they kill you?"

Bad :"uh...I mean it hasn't happened yet, Pomme...knock on wood...um but theoretically, Pomme, they could lock me up, which would kiiind of suck. Yeah, getting locked up is kind of on my "no" list of things I'd rather not have happen."

Pomme :"Nahhh we would free you"

Bad :"Yeah no that would- I hope you would free me. I know you and Dapper like to watch a lot of TV and so it might seem fun to keep your father locked away but-"

Pomme :"I'll go to war against them if needed"

Bad :"Aww, thank you, Pomme. I appreciate that. Hopefully, that doesn't come to pass...but at least I know I can count on you and Dapper. Just make sure you guys are taking care of yourselves."

"You know the worse part is, Pomme, even if, today I had been there, or even if, I had the NINHO 2.0 the egg basket egg carton set up today er yesterday, it still wouldn't have saved Empanada. That's the horrible thing, cuz I would've had to get them all set up today. Urgh that's suuuucks. Urrrrrggh."

Pomme :"I mean. I meannnnn. U know me"

"It'll still prevent future accidents"

Bad :"Everything's gonna be ok."

Pomme :"I meannnnn I'll go to war to save any of the people I love you already know that"

Bad :"No I know Pomme, I know... (continues building and stops) Urrggghh I'm so done, all the death, all the pain, all the suffering."

Pomme :"I'm so upset :D They will pay :D"