#the stuff i smoked was too potent lmao

[there-will-be-a-way]

No sleep meds and quitting weed is a baaaad combination

[raccoonpoptart]

wanted to share this scenario idea bcs it's adorable ;; it's where the reader accidentally made a mistake in casting a spell, ehich resulted in them turning into an animal! i'm wondering how the characters would react to them huhu

YESSS THIS IS SO CUTE THANKYOU 🌸✨ this is so funny to think about honestly could you imagine suddenly turning into an animal? personally if i turned into a raccoon i would never want to be human again 🦝🦝🦝

☼

that’s not how that goes...

warnings: none! wholesome times tonight <3

some of the animal choices are obvious but others are...just for giggles 🐝 hope you like it! ✨

Earlier at the market y/n got some new ingredients to use in a spell, but had to substitute a few obscure things with more easily accesible items. With nothing but hope in their heart (that they wouldn’t absolutely ruin anything important), they made their way home.

It wasn’t until about halfway through the spell that y/n realized something was a bit...off. The smell just seemed a bit more potent, and the color was a little more unexpected than usual. Magic was strange like that, so they shrugged and threw the last ingredient in the bowl. Poof! Smoke went everywhere and y/n was covered in green dust.

Suddenly, everything grew so much bigger in the shop and y/n began to panic. Asra wouldn’t be home for a few hours! What were they supposed to do? Their heart raced as they walked to the nearest mirror. They realized that it wasn’t the shop that got bigger, it was them who got smaller. Uh oh...

alright gamers lets do this

Asra

when he came home he looked everywhere for you and when he saw the mess you made he started to panic a little

he had no idea what you were trying to do but the fact that you weren’t around was...really unsettling

“mc?? where are you? please come back...”

suddenly he felt something slip up his arm and squeeze...

“oh, hi, faust...did you s-”

what looked back at him wasn’t those red eyes he was used to but instead it was two big purple eyes

he was about to scream (because who wouldn’t freak out over a random snake) when he heard your voice in his head

i think i messed up the spell :(

he laughed softly and placed a soft kiss on your head and assured you if he couldn’t fix it, it would probably wear off anyway

spoiler alert it took almost a whole day for it to wear off but he enjoyed having you wrap around him whenever he went anywhere

faust thought it was the best thing ever, she would wrap around asra’s left arm and you would be on his right

Bite the goat!

(i was so tempted to do a fox but i thought it would be cute to sorta be like a chimes and flamel moment)

Nadia

when she was told that a lynx had been spotted sneaking around the palace she was a little worried

lynx are not common, so of course she wanted to see! but when the lynx ran up to her and started to rub against her and purr?? she was very confused

it wasn’t until she saw your eyes that she realized it was you! but didn’t really know how she knew...it was just her intuition she guessed

she just assumed something magical happened and hugged you

loved when you followed her around the palace because everyone was so afraid, or just had a puzzled look on their face

when you would meowl (or, yell for lack of a better word) she would smile and kiss your head then laugh if anyone around her got scared

would talk to you like normal even if you couldn’t properly answer, she just assumed any noise you’d make was a response

complimented your ears and thick coat then offered to brush your fur (she wanted to hear you purr again)

she enjoyed having you around all day and once you were back to normal she asked so many questions

Julian

another damn raven had taken a liking to him and he was ready to leave vesuvia again

he facepalmed as malak and this new bird had started messing with his hair and squawking

meanwhile you found it pretty funny how he accepted it so quickly and waited a while before having malak tell julian

you and malak had continued to bother julian for a few hours but once he got annoyed you had malak explain and julian just laughed and asked if malak had run into a window again

when you softly pecked his nose and rubbed against his face he blushed softly

“ah, well...at least it’s temporary. it is temporary, right? please tell me it won’t last forever!”

boi was a bit stressed because now he felt like he had to look after you but malak told him to *ahem* buzz off we’ll say cause he was having so much fun

found the looks he got a bit funny because of course having two ravens follow you everywhere would look strange (CAN I MAKE A NORSE MYTHOLOGY JOKE PLS.....TWO RAVENS = ODIN LMAO)

once the spell wore off he held you close and let out a sigh of relief,,, “darling, you make a beautiful bird but please don’t scare me like that again <3”

Muriel

ignore the part where it says the shop got bigger, for this it got smaller ok thanks <3

inanna had been gone a while so he went out to find her

instead found her outside playing with a......bear?

he closed his eyes and exhaled then turned to go back inside to avoid dealing with another unexplainable thing

but inanna dragged him over to the bear and he just stared as the bear stared back

woof! “inanna that makes no sense, it’s not mc”

then the bear hugged him and he blushed but didn’t pull away because why else would a bear have silver fur and pink eyes

you couldn’t exactly fit in his hut so he decided to just sit outside with you. he assumed that a spell went wrong because the same thing had happened to asra before

“so, mc... do you think this is permanent?” you grunted in response and placed a paw on his head

it was a bit awkward but he laughed softly and placed a hand on your head (wholesome mountain man :( i would die for him...)

watching you catch fish was hilarious to him considering you couldn’t do it by yourself a few months ago, but made sure to keep an eye on you anyway

he liked that you were taller than him for a bit and felt safe when you would hug him, even if the sight of it would seem strange but was happy when you were back to normal (now he can kiss the top of your head and hold your hands properly)

Portia

walked into her cottage and stopped in her tracks

she was face to face a puma and her heart started racing, she was about to run until she saw pepi run up onto the bigger cat’s head and headbutt her

“pepi.....can you please explain who this is quickly” she was trying not to freak out in case the giant cat would attack her

in response pepi started to purr and rubbed against the cat and was surprised when the big cat started to purr too

she thought that maybe pepi had somehow made a new friend? and just was grateful that it didn’t eat her

you had to lead her back to the shop and show her the mess as well as the pile of your clothes on the ground for her to understand

“mc :3 does that mean you’re technically naked?~” she poked your side and laughed when you made a slightly annoyed noise

absolutely loved how everyone ran at the sight of her with a puma and walked with a bit more confidence “i feel like the main character in a story! strong, beautiful woman with her most trusted cats at her side!”

you wished you could laugh but you loved how adorable she was and also you were amazed at how even though you were walking, pepi stayed asleep on your back

after work the next day she found you asleep in her bed wearing some of her clothes and she smiled so big as she hugged you tight

Lucio

“can somebody please explain why the hell a damn PEACOCK IS IN MY ROOM???”

as he raised his voice, the bird puffed up its feathers and started to squawk which freaked him out but it just walked up to him and stared

he was so confused but was thankful the bird wasn’t attacking him so he tried talking to it

“uhhhh- hello there, aren’t you beautiful? are you an albino? your white feathers are gorgeous” you puffed up your chest at the compliments and expanded your tail feathers

he smiled and tried to pet your tail feathers “you aren’t so scary now, how’d you get in here?” he didn’t really think to ask anyone because the only person he could think of was asra and he didn’t want to talk to him

mercedes and melchior liked the bird so why shouldn’t he? he shrugged and just let you follow him around all day, talking to you like you were another one of his pets (which was annoying but you liked the compliments althought they were new, obviously you didn’t normally have feathers)

the spell wore off in the middle of the night he went from having two dogs and a bird in his bed to having two dogs....and YOU!! just when he thought being with you couldn’t have brought more surprises and weird stories

he gave you his shirt and laughed as you explained what happened ,, “well, it’s good it was temporary! if i never saw you as a human again i don’t know what i would do”

☼

that was so fun!! omg i love writing weird stuff like this 🍓 anyway, i hope you liked it! i’m thinking about writing a story where mc can turn into animals on the regular but we’ll see ✨✨ now i wish i could turn into an animal for a day lmao

[narutowtfareyoudoing]

Okay so it's totally understandable if you don't want to do this. Love your blog either way! ❤ but I'd love to see headcanons or scenarios about Kakashi, Itachi and whoever else you want smoking weed with the reader! I think it'd be hilarious!!! Again totally cool if it's a no if you don't smoke or are against it.. love you!

Glad to hear you love the blog!💚💚  LMAO I’M SO DOWN WITH THIS 😂💚 I’ve been around marijuana most of my life in different aspects so I’m excited to write this! 💚💚 I also assumed the reader was their S/O. ---

Kakashi Hatake:

Kakashi’s been smoking weed since he left the ANBU. After being in desperate need of an escape and generally needing to calm down. Now it’s a daily ritual.

Though he generally sleeps better now that he gets to crawl into bed with you he usually smokes before bed.

He’ll always share with you, he’s not possessive over his stash at all. Help yourself if he’s not around S/O.

Why is he so lax about it? He’s never had to pay for it. 

That’s right, years ago Kakashi helped out an elderly couple and turns out they ran a weed farm. As a show of their thankfulness anytime Kakashi comes around he gets a handsome baggy for free.

You went with him once and they think you’re lovely, they’re vert happy someone’s loving and taking care of their broody hero. You get a cute little baggy of your own for free too.

Having the nose of a trained Ninken means he knows the good stuff when he smells it.

So the stash you two share is some potent stuff. It’s that good stinky shit my dude.

Kakashi has got a large double percolator bong covered in dog stickers you’ve put onto it that he hides beside his dresser in case anyone decides to drop by unexpectedly. Guy came by once and Kakashi swears he was lectured about it for three days straight. 

Watching Kakashi take hits with his mask still on always makes you laugh, the way the smoke comes up from the inside of his mask should look really cool but it just makes you burst into a fit of giggles. Which is why he still does it sometimes. He thinks your laugh is cute and nothing makes him laugh more than your own laugh.

You two usually smoke in bed, the plan is always just to get a little stoned and get some good sleep. Oh, how you two rarely follow the plan.

You two can stay up for hours talking. Sometimes it strays into serious and philosophical topics and other times it’s a giggles fest of lame excuses he’ll use on his students later.

You two even have little smoking games. One of his favourite is where you two read Icha Icha and whoever finishes the page last has to take a hit, the more you lose the harder it gets to read. But as the room gets filled with more and more smoke it gets harder for the winner to keep focus too. Kakashi usually wins this game never the less though.

To spite what his reputation as a Shinobi is and how he can come across Kakashi is in fact a gigantic nerd and it comes out full force when you two are stoned. His comfort with you paired with the weed is enough to have him drop down any barriers and he tells you all this fan theories about the next Icha Icha books, how he came up with the names for his Ninken. Come on one of their names is Biscuit! 

Speaking of biscuits. Kakashi doesn’t have a huge sweet tooth but that man can pack it away. You two have definitely walked down to Ichiraku’s for a late night second dinner. You’ve run into Shikamaru and Asuma there too along with a number of other faces. There’s a good reason Ichiraku’s is open late, he knows his clientele. 

You two eventually make it to bed so late that it’s early. Both your heads light and bodies heavy as you cuddle up, conversation slowly turning into snores.

Itachi Uchiha:

Itachi’s been familiar with marijuana for medical use for quite some time.

It’s what’s most easily accessible on the road, not every Village has well trained Medical Nin but there’s always at least one person in every Village that sells pot. 

At first he only took medical marijuana oil that had a low THC to avoid effects of grogginess on missions.

But when you came into the picture with your gummies and potent oils things changed. 

He still rarely uses anything with THC on missions but when he’s off his missions he enjoys it more than he thought he would. 

Edibles are something he enjoys, he has a sweet tooth no matter what he says. You made edible Dango once and he adored it.

He can’t take any hits from bongs or blunts but with you he’s become very fond of shotguns and hotboxings. Shotguns usually end in a kiss and it gives him all the more reason to smile. The lightheadedness from the weed and your lips leaves him with what could be considered a dorky smile by Uchiha standards.

Then of course you introduced him to the world of THC body oils. Heaven you introduced him to Heaven.

When he comes back from missions physically sore you break out the oil and give him a massage. Itachi was a little hesitant at first, brushing you off politely but with some insistence from your end he agreed.

It’s not that he doesn’t enjoy the thought of you giving him a massage, it’s that he worries sometimes the relationship you two have is skewed too much in his favour. You often have to remind him you love him and you do this not because you feel like you have too but because you want too. Plus you often jokingly tease him by grabbing his butt and that’s your Heaven so it’s worth it.

His body is usually sick an uncooperative when it comes to physical forms of love with you but sometimes just the right combinations of medical grade oils and high THC can have his body feeling well enough to try. And if you’re receptive at all he doesn’t miss a chance to try.

Buzzing high on THC and blissful orgasmic relief is enough to knock you and Itachi into sleeping the next week away. 

He never would have thought being high would give him such a semblance of a normal life. Laying, cuddled up to the person he loved so dearly, body and mind relaxed, death far from his thoughts. It all gave him a moment of maybe what his life could have been and he relishes in it. 

When he’s stone he smiles more, breathy chuckles make their way our of him not many but more than you’d normally get. He already smile around you more but when he’d stoned it’s more constant. 

He chooses not to get philosophical when he’s high with you, all his philosophical’s have to do with death and he wants that as far as possible from the conversation when he’s trying to be present in the moment with you. It’s something you two have talked about, you already knew the reality that Itachi was going to die and it was going to be bloody...he didn’t need to remind you of it every second so instead he just lets himself enjoy the hazy moments he has with you.

Itachi’s nerves are shot from dangerous Jutsu he’s used over the years but being high feels to heighten his sensitivity and your little touches of affection are something he wishes he could bottle up and take with him on long missions. 

Kisame is aware of almost everything you are when it comes to Itachi and he’s got no problem with it and he’s gone so far as to remember the strains you told him help Itachi the most and will pick them up if he sees them. Kisame doesn’t see the appeal himself since he’s highly resilient. Seriously check it out fish aren’t susceptible to THC 

Some of Itachi’s best days are spent with you stoned out of your brilliant minds. 

Yamato:

Can you guess who was a bad influence and is to blame for this? I’ll give you two guesses but you’re only gonna need one. That’s right, say it with me: Kakashi.

What started as a way to appear cool and bond with his Senpai has over the years become a personal hobby.

Yamato is absolutely paranoid at times that someone will catch him smoking. It’s not illegal but it once was and sometimes he still gets worried he’ll get in trouble or worse get shamed for it.

So he only exclusively smokes at home by himself, with you or guiltily sometimes with Kakashi to spite the fact Kakashi teases the living Hell outta your poor boyfriend.

You do too a little. You can’t help it. You’d think he’s a teenager hiding it from his mom instead of a grown man who lives with you, his adult partner by the way he acts.

He locks all the doors, puts towels at the bottom of every single one, closes every window and latches them shut, he lights candles to stop the smell, he got so worried once he even used his wood Jutsu to seal the door and windows tight. Which caused the most incredibly intense hotbox of your life.

To spite the fact he’s been smoking much longer than you have you typically have to light up first to help him feel more comfortable about it. He still has a worry in the back of his head you’ll judge him for what he was raised with is a nasty habit.

But as he take a few deep breaths he calms down. One of the root reasons why he smokes is to calm himself down and to unravel the tight spiral he spins himself into.

He mainly smokes joints, they’re easy to hide and if he’s positive if he ever needed too he could convince someone they were just hand rolled cigarettes.

He’s a talker. Going over imaginary scenarios that get more and more ridiculous the higher he gets and he used to be able to talk himself into a panic but when you laugh at the insane lengths he goes too it calms him down and make him realize that he is being a little silly...but just a little.

You sometimes have to steer the conversation a little, telling funny stories of when you were in school and someone dared you to eat a roach claiming it would get you high. It didn’t. 

If you can get him going he’ll absolutely in be stitches as he laughs away. And it’s adorable to see Yamato cut loose like that.

Sometimes he’ll tell his famed ghost stories but instead of his Dead Eyed Ghoulish Stare having it’s usual chilling effect it makes you lose your mind and laugh. It should be terrifying with his pupils enlarged, red blood vessels brimming his big eyes as they stare at you but there’s just something so funny about it when you’re high. And eventually after he has a brief moment of bruised ego he laughs along with you.

About two shared joints in the best way to describe him is dopey. 

Dopey eyes, dopey grin, dopey compliments on how he’s so thankful for you and that you’re here with him, years ago he never would’ve imagined he’d get to come home to someone, especially someone as pretty and wonderful as you.

When he gets this dopey he just wants to be held, so much of his life has been starved of touch and it feels so wonderful with the way his nerves and buzzing. If you run your nails through his hair he’s an absolute goner.

He likes to wait for all the hotbox smoke to dissipate into nothingness before he dares to open a window or a door. So this usually means you two spend hours together like this. 

He greatly prefers smoking now that he can do it with you. He however to prefer or approve of your pranks like the time you snuck a joint into his flak jacket pocket. He freaked out desperately trying to hide it and you were in so much trouble when he got home.

~Admin Coral. 

Buy Me A Coffee?

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #302

“heaven ain’t close in a place like this”

What color are your eyes? Grayish blue. What's your favorite type of milk? If we're talking the basics, ig 1% is fine. What would you change about your appearance if you could? Oh, hunny, you got time for an essay? What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I need to fucking finish decorating it... It's not finished by no fault but my own laziness. Are you rich or poor? We're definitely pretty poor. Are you double jointed? I don't think so. What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? I once had a large infected cyst that had to be drained by applying pressure to it, and I swear to Christ I don't know how I didn't faint. They gave me morphine and multiple numbing shots, but none of that did SHIT. I'm not even embarrassed by the fact I was shrieking and sobbing and swearing because I'm pretty fucking sure any sane person would've cried out many times. I'm convinced they either didn't numb me enough for someone of my size back then, or I should've just gone under for it. I have no words for how painful it really was. Do you like shots? Uh, given that nobody LIKES getting a shot with a needle, I'm going to assume you mean like, taking shots of alcohol, in which case I've never tried, but I can almost absolutely guarantee you I'd hate them. I hate the taste of alcohol (hence why I only drink sweet and weak stuff), sooooo, I've got my doubts I'd enjoy something so potent. Are you afraid of spiders? Yes and no? Small ones don't tend to get to me, and I LOVE tarantulas. Big spiders are absolutely fascinating and I love *watching* them, but if I was surprised by a sudden spider, I'm going to probably cry out and jump/scramble away. But on a real note, respect your spiders, whether they scare you or not. They are so important to the ecosystem. See one in the house, take it outside if you can. Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? To some earrings, yes. I have to wear ones that don't have silver in them. Do you like to read? Yeah, but not nearly as much as I did as a kid. I'm even slacking on WoF lately... Do you know what your purpose in life is? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* BITCH I WISH I KNEW What's something you would like to improve at? Not being a socially anxious catastrophe. Do you believe you have great potential? Everybody does. You just have to use it. What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld? Probably the mountains when driving to Tennessee. Or New York? I really can't recall either so clearly as to have a favorite. Are you flexible? Noooot anymore. Back in my WiiFit days, I was a gotdamn snake. List a song lyric that you like. Oh Jesus, don't make me think. Uhhhhh there's so many. Flipping through artists in my head with lyrics I tend to love, there's Otep with: "hey, hey, NRA, how many kids did you kill today?". Simple, but spine-chilling to me. Huh, time to listen to it actually, lol. That song murders me with the goosebumps. Do you meditate? No; I can't. You can't tell me to "free my mind," man. It's way too hectic at all times up there. What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I'd love to go back to Chicago one night when I actually learn how to do nighttime urban photography. What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? I always answer "South Africa" to questions like this, so for variety's sake, I'll say the Bahamas. But a conspiratory bitch is afraid of the Bermuda Triangle, so... lmao. What's your favorite type of tree? I like big, impressive weeping willows. How many times have you seriously injured yourself? Only two occasions I can think of immediately. Maybe there's more, but idk. Did you attend Sunday School as a child? Yeah, even though I hated it. What is the longest your hair has ever been? Maybe a little passed the small of my back? What about the shortest? (not including being a toddler or baby): How it is now and has been for a couple years: shaved short on the left side, and it transitions to a length near my chin as you go to the right. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? No. Are/were you in the school band, and if so, what instrument did you play? I did, and I played the flute. I'd choose the saxophone if I could go back. Who does the grocery shopping in your household? Well, it's just Mom and me, so her. If you were to donate to charity today, what would you donate to? One that focuses on ovarian cancer for Mom. What is your favorite card game and when was the last time you played it? Even though I was never great at it or knew every single rule, "Magic: The Gathering" is honestly really fun, and I loved looking at the card art. I haven't played it since I was with Jason, so at least five-six years. Would you consider yourself to be good at spelling and grammar? Yeah, but I've somehow gotten worse with time???? I question the spelling and tenses of words I write a lot. What is your favourite seasonal candy? (only available at certain times): Probably like, chocolate rabbits. NOT hollow. Way to break my heart. Or gingerbread cookies. What was the last chocolate bar you ate? I think a Hershey's? It was a while ago. Who was the last person you talked to on Skype/video chat? I was in a Zoom session with multiple people for my partial hospitalization program. Have you ever dreamt about sleeping with someone other than your partner? If so, did that make you feel embarrassed? I've never had a dream like this while in a relationship. The last time you had butterflies in your stomach, what was the reason? I have no idea. Has anyone told you that they miss you recently? No. Has anyone ever asked you out or told you that they liked you, and you rejected them? Can you explain why you didn’t like, or didn’t feel attracted to that person? There was this one guy in the 4th grade who asked me if I would go out with him so much it almost became like a joke. I just... didn't like him like that. Then there's Juan; I'd just been warned that he had a bad rep by a very reliable adult, and the idea of dating him was kinda... intimidating anyway. Plus he was a smoker, which was and still is a no-no for me. What part in a movie would you love to play? The clinically insane villain or something because I feel with my history, I could channel that very well IF I actually wanted to act in the first place. What piece of furniture have you replaced the most? The couch. What’s the best part of your favorite movie? When Simba walks up Pride Rock in the rain and roars and all the lionesses join in. Chilling. What do you think is the most over-rated candy ever? Candy corn is repulsive. What was the highlight of your day? My mom was raving to one of my therapists in the PHP about my art and how badly she wants me to just get everything out there. I was smiling really big but looking down with how shy but also flattered it made me. Do you know anyone who is anorexic? I don't think so. Who has hurt you the most this year? Ha, myself. What's the last insult someone said to you? Hm. How much did your car cost? N/A What is the last picture you received on your phone of? Uhhh Mom mighta sent me a meme or Sara showed me a drawing someone made of Suriza, I think. Have you ever let someone go because you thought they deserved better? No, though I've felt that way before. Is there anybody you're really disappointed in right now? I'm still not over the fact Dad was a druggie before me and my sisters, apparently. It's almost like... hurtful in some weird way? Idk exactly why, it's just something I know I feel. What do you hear right now? I have Motionless In White's cover of "Somebody Told Me" playing in another tab. Do you do anything to help the environment? I do what I can as someone who isn't financially independent and reliant on another person for transportation. I won't litter for anything (and this includes shit like letting balloons go in the air, fucking stop), I'm trying to use my metal straw always in place of plastic, and to use less plastic bags, I try to spread out the times I clean Roman's litterbox to a few days; not to the point it's disgusting or uncomfortable for him, of course, though. Three days without is pretty much max. When's the last time you did something you knew was wrong? Ha, a little while ago... I was trying to avoid eating the two last biscuits Mom made for dinner 'cuz I really gotta lay off the carbs, but Mom "joked" that "it's your birthday, you get to do whatever you want," so I kinda just said fuck it lmao. Do you think that you have a pretty smile? No, because my eyes squint badly, and I also hate my teeth. When's the last time you cried over a guy? A few days ago a little bit, actually. I was reminiscing too much and recalling some of the warmest memories. Are you scared to lose the person you fell the hardest for? I already did. Oh well. Is there someone you wouldn't mind kissing right now? Yep. Do you have any friends that actually model? No. Do you care about the last person you kissed? A fucking lot. Do they care about you? Yes. Is there someone you wish you were with right now? Yes, just because of past birthday memories. I keep hoping a "happy birthday Britt" pops up in my FB messenger, and I hate myself for it. Have you ever imagined how it would feel kissing a certain someone? I legitimately just huffed in humor, guess, lmao. What are the bad things you've heard people say about you? That I'm a martyr, going nowhere, lazy, not trying hard enough, y'know, all that good stuff. Do you flirt a lot? Definitely not. What phrase or saying do you use the most? Probably "oof" lol. What mood are you in right now? I'm doing pretty all right. Kinda dreading Miss Tobey coming over, mean as it is, but I just... don't wanna deal with her and her judgments on my birthday. But I'm looking forward to seeing my sisters, and therapy went very well. Have you ever kissed someone that was high? No. Do you have a good relationship with your mother? Yep. How many exes do you have? I only consider two exes "serious," as I've only been in two deep and long-term relationships, but if we're counting everyone who's had the label of "boyfriend" or "girlfriend," there's six. Do you want to be single or with someone? Ugh, I don't know. It's probably better I don't 'til I figure my shit out, but I really do miss the companionship a lot. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? Because I love her and I was leaving her at the airport. Does your mom think you’re a virgin? She doesn't know for the same reason I don't, really. I think she leans towards I am, but idk. Is there someone that wants you to give them a second chance? I don't know. What size bra do you wear? Uhhh I genuinely don't buy bras enough to know this exactly. C-something. Does the person you last kissed still like you? I don't know if she still like-likes me. Are your parents still together? Noooo. Was your first time good or bad? I dated an Italian, if u kno what I mean. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Which friend-turned-enemy do you miss the most? Colleen, sometimes. Have you ever used an epi pen, and it worked? I have not. What is on your top priority list for today? Make this fuckin' day for me. I'm trying to not let the depression sink in and make me feel worthless on today of all days. So I'm trying to stay in a positive headspace. Do you own any sand art in a jar? Omg, those are so cool! But no. Does the sun come in your window in the morning or at night? Not really; there's houses in the way. What was the last piece of art you created? A drawing of a meerkat with its mouth open angrily, done with colored pencils, against a black background. It's on my second dA. What time of day do you take medications? I have prescription meds for when I wake up and at bedtime. What's your newest hobby you've started? A new hobby? Huh... What are some things you wanted to do that your parents didn't let you do? They wouldn't let us stay home alone until a certain age, we had a timer on the TV at bedtime to shut off after a while, we weren't exposed to certain music or shows, no cursing... stuff like that. What YouTube channels do you recommend? This is a BAD question to ask me, 'cuz I could just about recommend channels for just about any niche. I watch soooooo many. What is your favorite day of the week? Tuesday, because it's reset day in WoW, haha. Meaning, I get to do my stupid mount farming raids again for the week. Blackhand, gimme your FUCKING clefthoof already. Ballet or cheerleading? Ballet is beautiful. What are your favorite sports to watch? Only dancing, really. Were you ever in the marching band? No. Which holiday has the best decorations, in your opinion? My contrasting aesthetics make this hard, haha. I love Christmas with all the beautiful light displays people can make, but let's not sleep on Halloween, y'all. I loooove Halloween decor, like c'mon, that's where I get shit for my room year-round, lmao. What do you want to be known for? It'd actually be kinda cool if I built up some sort of rep in the vulture culture community with my photography of roadkill. For how few shots I actually have on there and minimal interaction, my Instagram for it is doing quite well, if you consider those factors. They've gotten some pretty decent attention on dA, too. I would love for people to know why I do it though, of course: awareness and respect for the animal's life. How often do you wear make-up? Almost never nowadays. Think of the person you are jealous of...what are you jealous of them for? She's actually making a career out of her photography. Do you have art that you made in high school? Oh, plenty. Do you have trauma in your past? *clears throat* take a fuckin seat Favorite type of frosting? Chocolate. Have you ever tried cake decorating? No. One of my sisters is actually one, though! She's great at it. What clubs are you a part of? None. What was your favorite book that you had to read for school? The Outsiders. 6th grade, to be exact. Do you like to read classics, or do you usually read new arrivals? I don't prefer one over the other, honestly. Were you a big partier in college? No, I never partied. Is your college one you would recommend? My most recent one, fuck yes. They're amazing and care so deeply for their students. Would you go camping in the woods alone? Yikes, no. Would you name your kids after anyone? If I had a son and I had my way with the name, he would be named after the Most Selfless Man in the World, Damien from WKM. :'''''( Do you have any supernatural gifts? No. Are there any good churches in your town? You're asking someone who has a bad relationship with religion. Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? It really depends on the season and venue my spouse and I pick. Do you think you would be a good salesperson? HEEEEEEEEEEEELL NAW fam. I ain't pressuring people to buy shit.

[insertdisc5]

homestuck epilogues stuff

thoughts about the homestuck epilogues, as in, spoilers and theories and things ive noticed by reading it over twice and talking with friend @kravicle while they were reading

this is just a list of theories me and krav came up with ok. also stuff u might not pick up in only one read? we’re just spitballing here 

MEAT AND CANDY TEREZI ARE PROBABLY ONE AND THE SAME

> just didnt see proof they weren't the same lmao, we only get john+terezi's messages from both timelines and she could have gotten messages from both meat!john and candy!john

>time is fucked on her end also so (shrugs)

>(terezi meeting meat!john) "something else is different about him. different, somehow, from how she thought he’d be when she imagined they’d next meet. under all the gore, he smells... too fresh."

>TEREZI: HMMM

TEREZI: YOU SM3LL OLD3R

TEREZI: BUT NOT 4S OLD 4S 1 THOUGHT YOUD B3

JOHN: what does that mean?

TEREZI: DONT WORRY 4BOUT 1T

>"In multiple realities, all [John] wanted for her was this. To be home safe, with all their friends. And now that she’s here, she’s lost."

> (meeting Meat!roxy) "Terezi’s head is filled with stories about a different version of Roxy—the polar opposite of the one standing in front of her."

DIRK’S PLAN PART 1 (free will)

>maybe plans to get Actual Free Will thru ultimate godhood??? also explains why he feels okay with removing free will from his friends- for him, this isnt real free will anyway?

>(dirk talking about kanaya) "What WAS she thinking? What are any of us thinking, really? Who’s doing the thinking, and who’s having the thoughts?

The more you study the question, the more it seems all concrete forms of accountability go up in smoke. Her original thoughts were never that important, and the significance of the idea that she was the one authoring them was always a bit overrated. My mission is to someday clear this all up for everyone. Remove the ambiguity, suck the mud out of the water. It’ll be a lot better that way, trust me."

>to old callie, dirk's plan "[john’s] ultimate sacrifice was made to put the missing keystone in place and avert the supreme dissipation of all that shall be considered to hold truth, relevance, and essentiality."

>although narrator callie thinks this world has some sort of actual free will. says "[john should kiss terezi etc]. it’s wrong to contradict one’s true thoughts and feelings. irrational. unbecoming of an existence governed by free will."

>his plan to give everyone/ultimate gods “free will” will end up destroying canon????

DIRK’S PLAN PART 2 (complacency of the learned, ultimate self)

>complacency of the learned, 12 people attaining ultimate knowledge (=ultimate self), and turning "either insane or evil"

> (candy ending, rose’s POV) "The thoughts in her powerful brain race. What will they name the planet? How long will it take for the ship to arrive? Once the new race has established an advanced enough civilization thousands of years from now, who will the lucky kids be? The ones who get the chance to play what will arguably be the most important session in the history of Sburb?" 

>finding more people to attain ultimate godhood???

>dirk asks terezi to come with him and rose at the end of meat, along with john's body (implied that she did accept-callie!jade points and dave thinks she points both to dirk+rose and john+terezi, callie doesnt prove him otherwise)

>dirk wants 12 ultimate gods for each aspect????

>"If your perception expands beyond the meat sack of your body, then are you really an individual anymore? Why shouldn’t we become gods? Why shouldn’t we become one God."

- (callie speaking) "[John] is simply being barred from ignoring his true thoughts. even without the aid of a juju, he is fortunate enough to be blessed with the only true form of divinity. to be released from the prison of nonsensical inhibitions which so often psychologically hobble the more primitive forms of life."

>callie is probably an ultimate god, terezi should be?? with rem8mb8r?

DIRK’S NARRATOR STUFF

>dirk probably doesnt know hes in a story/that he has an audience (us) "How can I respect a fucking pronoun when nobody can even hear me?”

>does dirk control people by using you-ness? using 2nd person to control, 3rd person to narrate?

>”JADE: and where there is an identity, there can also be an agenda.”

CANDY TIMELINE STUFF

>part of the black hole, a utopia, place removed from reality/canon in some way??? WEIRDO DREAM BUBBLE????

>cut off from canon in some way- dirk and rose cant get to ultimate godhood anymore, john cant use retcon powers

>candy!john mentions multiple times he doesnt think of him and his friends as "real"

>sky in candy!timeline described as more vibrant (VS pre-sburb being described as muted)

>candy!karkat talking to sollux and probably being foreshadowing without knowing: “KARKAT: I THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO LITERALLY DIDN’T EXIST ANYMORE! KARKAT: OR AT THE VERY LEAST WERE TRAPPED IN A DEAD UNIVERSE PERPETUALLY COLLAPSING INTO ITS OWN ASSHOLE.”

>CALLIOPE: we’re all going to be very, very happy. I trUly believe that. ^u^ 

>ROSE: Oh Kanaya, you’re right.

ROSE: We are going to be so astonishingly happy!

>ROXY: omg

ROXY: were gonna be SO freakin happy!

>Dirk in Meat: "Cherubs are fuckin’ weird, I’ll totally concede. Still not sure what makes them tick. What they idealize, what they really want. It all comes across to me as a little cloying. Perfection to them is a sweetness beyond comprehension. Sugar so potent it’s poison to us. To our bodies, to our souls. Like the place she was operating from was a realm of self-construction. A bubble of pure, phantasmal confection."

>end of meat!callie can see into candy!timeline ROXY: they stay home all day with the blinds drawn paintin some weird ass shit on the walls

TEREZI: WH4T?

ROXY: its not as bad as it sounds i promise

ROXY: some of it is like

ROXY: weird and violent??

ROXY: like lotsa nasty purple blood and um

ROXY: nudity????

TEREZI: >:?

ROXY: yeah yikes

ROXY: but MOST of it is cute stuff like... various combos of all of us being happy and gettin married and shit

>obama’s here. god i need a minute

>dirk told gamzee something??? 

“DAVE: wheres dirk

GAMZEE: tHeRe’S nO nEeD tO wOrRy AbOuT hIm. :o)

GAMZEE: YoU’rE gOnNa GeT wHaT’s BeSt FoR yOu. He ToLd Me ThAt, AnD i’M gOnNa MaKe SuRe HiS wIsH mAkEs LiKe A mOtHeRfUcKiNg MiRaClE aNd GeTs TrUe.

[...]

GAMZEE: YoU dOn’T gOt AnY nEeD tO gO aNd CoNcErN yOuRsElF wItH hIs MoRtAl FlEsH bOdY oUt HeRe In ThIs CaNdYcAnE wHiRlPoOl BeYoNd ThE iNfInItE bLaCk WiNk Of ThE wIcKeD sInGuLaRiTy, My NiNjA.

GAMZEE: a SaCk Of MeAt AnD bOnEs In OnE lIfE oR tHe NeXt Is OnLy A mEaNs To ThE fInAl ToTaLiTy ThAt WiLl DaMn AnD rAiSe Us AlL iN bRiLlIaNt ApOtHeOsIs.

GAMZEE: In ThE oNe TrUe LiFe We AlL fLoW fRoM tHe OnE tRuE pEn,

GAMZEE: aNd EvErY hEaD rOlLs DoWn ThE pAtH tO tHe OnE tRuE hAnD.”

> dirk before killing himself:  “ It is the very last moment of narratively consequential action that will happen in this whole, barren world. “

OTHER STUFF

> dirk teaching men about "combat, philosophy, life, love." (jake, dave, obama, not said explicitly but also probably gamzee????) what is UP with that

>gamzee also wanting to teach kid tavros about combat philosophy life love, “to behave the way a mentor does”

>re: john “Your complete lack of remarkability, specific motivation, drive, opinion on where to direct your own fate—these deficiencies are exactly what made you so useful, so susceptible to being endowed with the you-ness I’ve borrowed to satisfy my purposes.”

>at the end of meat, callie in jade's body in candy timeline kills lord english and gets big powers or whatever. cherub stuff

>terezi gets a text at the end of Meat, we dont know from whom (candy!(vriska)?)

>john left letters for everyone in Meat but no one’s found them yet?

>snapchats were probably before the split 

>this whole post makes both me and krav sound like we’re been talking about this for 24 hours straight (we did)