#this is the noticing shit game so perhaps they should have assumed that players would indeed notice shit

[psqqa]

......they didn't think the whole air guitar thing through in terms of court view angles and handedness, did they?

[kuroopaisen]

tiny love || i

➵  as tooru’s younger sister, falling in love with iwaizumi hajime is easy. your feelings aren’t ignored, either.

warnings: f!reader

wc: 3.8k

m.list ↠ ch. 2

“Can’t you let me win once?” Tooru whined, turning to Iwaizumi with his best puppy dog eyes.

“Not a chance in hell.”

“Iwa-chan—”

“Call me that again and we bring this fight into the real world.”

“You’re so mean.”

“You should’ve thought of that before challenging me to a one-v-one.”

“You know, most people have fun while playing games.”

“There’s no space for fun here,” Iwaizumi grunted. “Only winning.”

“This isn’t the court!”

“Doesn’t matter.”

You watched the two of them battle it out on Smash. You knew well enough that challenging Iwaizumi to a battle on there was a death wish. But Tooru had an insatiable need to win all the time – even if he liked to act otherwise.

You knew that hunger would take him far. And you weren’t the only one. Everyone always knew that Tooru was going to leave an impact, no matter what he chose to do.

“Hey,” Iwaizumi called out to you, giving you a small smile. “Would you like to have a go?”

“Not against you,” you laughed, shaking your head. “I’m not mad.”

“Fight Oikawa then,” Iwaizumi smirked, nodding at him. “You’ll crush him easily.”

“Hey!” Tooru whined, waving his arms dramatically. Sometimes, you thought that Tooru should’ve pursued a career in the dramatic arts alongside volleyball. There was certainly some wasted potential there.

“You might do better if you didn’t scream every time I punched you,” Iwiazumi smirked. You could feel the fondness in his voice, even if it was buried under a layer or two of mock contempt.

“I can’t help it!” Tooru wailed. “It always takes me by surprise!”

“Alright,” you grinned, getting to your feet.

“I’ll lend you a hand,” Iwaizumi said, patting the space between him and Tooru on the couch.

“That’s not fair!” Tooru whined, pouting at the two of you. “There’s no way I’ll win if you work together.”

“Oh, definitely not.” Iwaizumi flashed him a wicked grin.

Tooru turned to you with pleading eyes. “Please don’t. I can’t handle this.”

Your brother knew exactly how to pull on your heartstrings – even though he was the older one.

“He’s bullshitting,” Iwaizumi cut in, quelling your guilt before it even had time to build.

“I’m not,” Tooru huffed. “I’m terrified.”

“That’s no excuse,” Iwaizumi shook his head, flicking through the menu.

Tooru watched him, hawk-like. “What are you doing?”

“I’m giving her Meta Knight.”

“That’s not fair!”

You grinned, patting your brother on the back. “I am new to this game. I’m going to need all the help I can get.”

Tooru glared at you for a long moment. It almost felt like you were having a proper fight.

“Don’t let him get to you,” Iwaizumi chuckled, handing the controller back to you. “He’s just a sore loser.”

You couldn’t have thought of a better way to describe your brother.

But you were just glad to make an attempt to reach across the gulf between you, that impassable abyss you felt you had no hopes of leaping across. For once, it felt like you belonged in your brother’s life. 

✧ ✧ ✧

“Shit,” you grumbled, patting your pockets.

“Don’t let Oikawa hear you speaking like that,” Hajime chuckled, looking at you from the corner of his eye.

The two of you were standing in line at the local boba shop, a frequent after-school haunt for the two of you. It’s usually a little busy, swallowed up by the after-school rush of students who either didn’t do their extracurriculars at school or simply didn’t care.

“What my brother doesn’t know can’t hurt him,” you mumbled half-heartedly, looking up at Hajime with your best puppy eyes. “I forgot my wallet.”

“Again?” He grinned. “I’m starting to think you’re doing it on purpose.”

“It’s not my fault Tooru won’t lend me any cash,” you shrugged. 

Not that long ago, your brother was responsible for financing your after-school snacks. 

But since entering high school, Tooru had discovered girls. And girls had discovered Tooru.

You hadn’t expected your brother to be so highly-sought after – seeing as he was such a brat – but you weren’t about to complain about it. If he wasn’t volunteering, he usually had a date on Tuesday afternoon, which left Hajime free to walk you home.

And he never failed to do so. Every single Tuesday, Hajime would wait for you at the school gates, ready to do his duty and escort you safely back to the Oikawa household.

Of course, these trips were rarely ever linear.

You suspected Iwaizumi abhorred studying. Sitting in one spot and reading page after page of academic jargon didn’t suit him. He never complained – and he reminded you time and time again that it’s important to stay on top of your studies – but he wasn’t above finding excuses to avoid it. 

The two of you always found ways to waste time, doing absolutely anything but studying or heading home.

His favourite of these little escapades seemed to be sitting and watching the mountains. There was always something wistful in his gaze, a sense of serenity that you’d never experienced yourself. He was only one year older than you, but he always seemed a little older than everyone around him – even if he loved monster movies. 

Regardless, you never cared much about what the two of you did. You were just willing to do whatever made him smile.

“Did you get a haircut?” He asked, shocking you out of your thoughts. He was walking over to the waiting area. You scurried after him, cheeks slightly flushed.

“No,” you shook your head. “Why?”

Hajime peered at you for a second, his brow furrowed. “It looks nice.”

You scoffed. “What, are you saying it doesn’t look nice normally?”

“No,” he sighed, rolling his eyes. “It just looks… different.” He paused, eyes flicking away from you. “But your normal hair looks nice too.”

You stood there like a marble statue, praying to every conceivable deity that your face wasn’t glowing.

He always said things like that. Things that felt like they were meant to be compliments, but so laden with awkwardness that you could never tell.

And he always got so flustered. Not that you were any better. No, in some ways, you were worse.

You just couldn’t stop yourself from hoping. You loved moments like these, stolen away with Hajime in a small pocket of your week. You weren’t even sure if Tooru knew about them; were they perhaps a secret you shared?

Of course, Tooru knew that Hajime walked you home, but not what time you got home.

You always wondered if he tried to make these little trips last longer. You certainly did.

But if he ever noticed you ambling, he never reprimanded you for it. He always slowed down to accommodate you, his arm occasionally brushing against yours. It was always enough to make your heart beat just a bit faster.

Today was no different.

“You know,” Hajime said, taking a sip of his boba. “Oikawa’s still upset that you didn’t pick up volleyball.”

You scoffed, rolling your eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Hajime smiled. “Something about how he can’t believe how his ‘precious little sister’ should’ve followed in his footsteps.”

“He just wants to brag,” you huffed, sipping up a pearl with vengeance. Hajime chuckled and your heart fluttered. You couldn’t help but be proud whenever you were the reason he laughed. 

“Is that why you don’t want to play?” He asked.  

You frowned. “Sort of?”

“You don’t sound certain.” 

“I don’t know…” You chewed on your lip, turning the question over in your mind. You knew that some people expected you to follow in your older brother’s footsteps. They assumed that his skill was due to overwhelming talent. For some, the natural assumption was that it must run in the family. 

You, of course, knew otherwise. If anything, the ignorance towards Tooru’s hard work was the most insulting thing about this particular assumption. 

 “I guess… I just…” You weren’t quite sure what you wanted to say. If you had any intention to ‘follow in your brother’s footsteps,’ it would be to emulate his passion and dedication. That’s what you wanted — not to be an incredible volleyball player in your own right.

“I want to find something I excel at, you know?” You admitted. “If I even try and get into volleyball, I feel like I’ll always just be Tooru’s younger sister. Like… it’d be hard to feel like I was getting opportunities on my own merits.”

That much was true. Just as much as you abhorred how people ignored Tooru’s hard work, you feared the thought that if you did follow him into volleyball, your own efforts would be ignored. Or, worse yet, played down. 

Besides, it would be hard not to get overshadowed by Tooru. Not when he shone so brightly. 

“If volleyball is what you want to do, you shouldn’t let that hold you back,” Hajime sighed. 

You shook your head. “I don’t think I want to play volleyball though.”

Hajime paused for a moment, lips pursed around his straw. The two of you had never really spoken about the future, about what either of you wanted to do with your lives. Tooru didn’t even need to say that he wanted to pursue volleyball; that much was a given. 

“Do you know what you want to do?” He asked. 

You bit the inside of your cheek. “I don’t know.”

Part of you felt silly for that. It had been so easy for Tooru — once he’d found his passion, he’d dug his heels in. Never once had he wavered, not even when he was at his most insecure. He knew what he wanted to do. He had a hunger for it. 

You could only wonder what that felt like. 

“And that’s okay.” Hajime’s voice was soft. Softer than it usually was. It’s like he knew what you were thinking, even though you hadn’t given voice to those deeper insecurities. 

“I just… I don’t know. I know that nobody else knows what they’re doing either but, like…” You almost regret starting this thought, but you’ve never had this opportunity before. It would be foolish to let it pass by. “Tooru’s always known. It’s kind of difficult to not feel like I should know what I want to do.”

Even your parents seemed to pay you less mind. You’d never really felt like you were less loved; but Tooru burned so brightly it was inevitable that you were cast in shadow. You’d worked tirelessly to root out any bitterness, but… 

“You’re allowed to be unsure,” Hajime said, interrupting your train of thought. “I know that’s redundant, but it’s true. You’ve got time.”

It was cliché. But there’s something about the way he said it that made you feel like you were floating. Maybe because it almost sounded like “It’ll be okay. I’ve got you.” 

A hand was suddenly ruffling your hair. You flinched, looking up at the boy standing next to you. 

He was smiling gently, a warmth in his eyes that made your heart beat a little faster. 

“You’ll find your strengths. I know you will.”

You held your breath for a moment, heat blossoming across your cheeks. Perhaps this boy would be the death of you. 

“Thanks, Hajime.” 

✧ ✧ ✧

There was never any damn food in your house. It was the curse that’d plagued you since you were young – many a late night expedition to your fridge turned up fruitless.

Tonight was no different.

It was past midnight, but you couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard you tried, you’d just laid there, staring at your ceiling while the hours crawled on.

So you’d scampered down stairs, phone in hand and hunger brewing in your stomach.

You squinted into the grim white light of your fridge, that familiar disappointment settling over you.

You hated nights like this. You couldn’t just lie in your bed for hours on end, thinking of nothing and everything. But you couldn’t even eat to escape your boredom.

You let the fridge door swing close with a muted thud, sighing heavily.

You turned around with a deep frown.

A figure stood in the corner of your kitchen.

A hand flew to your hand to contain your surprised yelp. ‘I have early morning training, you know,’ Tooru would say whenever you accidentally woke him up late at night – though you contended that he was just a very light sleeper, and it wasn’t your fault that the sound of the toilet flushing was enough to rouse him from his slumber.

But it wasn’t Tooru who was standing in the kitchen with you.

“Hajime,” you gasped, placing a solid hand on your chest. “Shit, don’t sneak up on me like that.”

He chuckled quietly, shaking his head. “Sorry.”

“You should be,” you mumbled, gripping your phone.

You felt stupid, but standing alone in your kitchen with Hajime was enough to make your heart race.

You glanced down at your phone quickly for a distraction. By what might be divine providence, Amaya’s name lit up the screen. You weren’t quite sure why she was rambling about the stars at 12:41 AM, but you weren’t going to judge her for it.

“What’s so interesting?” Hajime teased, his head suddenly hovering over your shoulder and much too close to your face.

You flinched, almost dropping your phone. “I—Uh—Amaya,” you managed to splutter out, quite grateful for just how dark your kitchen was.

“She’s the tall one, right?” Hajime asked, making no effort to move out of your space. You could usually deal with the fact that he was often around at your place late in the evenings – and honestly, trying to ensure that you were more presentable than usual was more exhausting than you’d given it credit for – but you weren’t used to him being this close.

Most of the time, you just stayed in your room while Tooru and Hajime spent time together. Wonderful as he was, Hajime was stressful to be around. It was hard enough keeping your feelings a secret from him. You didn’t want to think about what Tooru’s obnoxiously observant eyes would be able to notice.

“You alright?” He frowned, moving to stand directly in front of you.

You realised what was happening a moment too late, mortification digging its heels into your stomach. “Oh, uh… yeah. Yeah.”

Hajime flicked your forehead gently, chuckling.

You pouted at him, completely unsure of where to take the conversation. Usually, you could hold yourself together enough without embarrassing yourself too much. But at 12:45 at night? Impossible. Humiliation was inevitable. 

“What’re you doing up?” He asked, leaning against the kitchen counter.

“What are you doing up?” You shot back, somewhere between defensive and playful.

He grinned. God, he was aggravatingly handsome, even for a teenage boy.

“I can’t sleep,” he shrugged. “I thought I’d just watch a film or something until I got tired.”

“And then you decided to give me the fright of my life instead.”

“You could’ve been a burglar.”

“And if I was?”

“I would’ve thought of something.”

You took a moment to scan him up and down. “I feel safer already.” That was only half a joke. You were well-aware of just how buff he was. 

He chuckled, standing up to full height. “Anyway, I’m going to go and set up the TV. Feel free to join me.” He started walking off, pausing to look over his shoulder at you. “It’ll be more fun if you’re there.” 

Your heart stuttered in your chest. 

Well, how were you supposed to say no to something like that? 

✧ ✧ ✧

For someone who’d been so adamant that they couldn’t fall asleep, you were pretty quick to doze off once bundled up on the couch in the entertainment room.

Hajime had set up the original Godzilla quite efficiently, despite his technological ineptitude. He may have been bad with machines, but there was little that could separate him from his beloved monster movies. 

You’d settled yourself down on the couch, waiting patiently for Hajime to join you. You were already overthinking it. How close would you be to him? Would he be comfortable with you resting your head on his shoulder? Would it be weird for the two of you to share a blanket? 

He switched the light off and you flinched. 

“Here,” Hajime said, handing you one of the blankets as he sat himself down on the couch. He was just a hair’s breadth away from you, your shoulders barely touching. 

You always seemed to be one step away from overt affection; bodies pressed together close enough to be suspicious, furtive glances when you thought the other wasn’t looking, ‘secret’ afternoons spent revelling in each other’s company. 

God, this was so frustrating. And so adolescent. But even if you wanted to, you couldn’t work up the courage to actually say something. 

The fear of rejection was too strong. 

“You ready?” He asked, turning to look at you. 

“Hm?” 

“To start the movie.” 

“Oh.” Your brain was far too addled for this. “Yeah.” 

Hajime nodded, pressing the play button. The screen went black for just a moment before fuzzy black and white images flickered into motion. 

You tried your best to pay attention to the movie. You really, truly did. 

But you were finally getting tired. You were vaguely aware of the fact a couple ships were destroyed, and a big dinosaur-shaped monster, and something about the government. But you couldn’t keep up – not when Hajime was so close to you. 

Perhaps you should’ve gone to bed. But you didn’t want to stop spending time with him. 

But even that wasn’t enough to help you keep your eyes open. Against your sheer determination, your eyes kept fluttering closed. You were sure he’d tell you off for not just going to bed, but you still weren’t ready to leave just yet. 

But he was so warm pressed against you, the dim light of the room so soothing, the din of an old movie a quiet lull… 

“Hey.” 

A gentle voice came from above you. 

You opened your bleary eyes, only to immediately squint. Wait, what was going on? Where were you? 

“Wake up.” 

Oh, that was Hajime’s voice. Why was… That’s right. You were watching a movie with him. 

And now, you were....

Oh, shit. You were leaning on his shoulder. If you were a little more lucid, then maybe you would’ve repositioned yourself. 

But you were tired, and he was comfortable. And, he hadn’t pushed you off yet. 

“What time is it?” You mumbled, stifling a yawn. 

“It’s two.” 

“Oh.” You blushed. “Whoops.” 

Hajime chuckled. “I thought you said you couldn’t sleep.”

“Yeah,” you groaned. “But then I got sleepy.” 

“Then you should’ve gone to bed,” he chided. But there was a playful tone to his voice. 

You huffed, shifting yourself off his shoulder to get a better look at his face.

Even in the monochrome half-light of the TV, he was still obnoxiously handsome. Maybe not in the most classic of ways – there was something rougher about him, something unpolished, unrefined. But you’d always liked the honesty in his face; you felt it matched his personality perfectly. Some of your friends thought he looked kind of intimidating, but you’d always disagreed. To you, he looked kind. Maybe not in the most traditional sense, but in a way that was truly his. 

Oh man, you were drowsy. If you were more lucid, you’d have known better than to just sit and stare at his face. 

But he was staring right back, a certain tenderness in his eyes. You’d seen it before, on your walks home and in the quiet moments you shared. But he’s never been this open about it before. If you caught him, he usually looked away, cheeks turning a slight shade of pink. 

But tonight, he seemed to be fearless. 

You wondered – no, you hoped – that maybe, just maybe, your suspicions were correct. That he did indeed feel the same as you. 

A hand came up to cup your cheek. You leant into it instinctively, letting the weight of your head rest against his palm. 

Hajime smiled, stroking a gentle thumb over your cheek. His hands were a little rough, just as you’d expected, but they’re so gentle. 

You were about to go into cardiac arrest. You could feel it in every inch of your body. There’s no way he couldn’t hear your heartbeat – not when it was thrumming so loudly in your ears. 

“You’re so cute.” 

It took you a moment to process what he’d just said. 

Wait, he called you cute? While looking at you like that? There was no way you were making it out of this room alive– 

He leant in, pressing his lips against yours softly. You froze, every nerve in your body now on high alert. 

Iwaizumi Hajime? Kissing you? No way. No. Better yet, your first kiss? You had to be dreaming. There was no way this was happening. 

And yet the burning of your cheeks, the swelling of your heart, the feeling of his lips pressed against yours all said otherwise. This was happening. 

It was a little clumsy, a little stiff. But you didn’t care. What mattered was that it was happening. That your heart was hammering in your chest at an inhuman speed. That finally, finally, you could express this affection you had for him. 

You wanted to move, to touch him, to hold him close. But you were too dumbstruck to move, content to just stay like this for as long as he’d let you. 

He pulled away after a long moment, eyes half-lidded as he gazed at you. He was smiling widely – a rare, full-bodied smile. 

Oh. He was smiling like that because of you. Against all odds, your heart found a way to beat even faster. 

“We should go to bed,” he said, voice a few shades deeper than usual. 

The red of your cheeks deepened.

“Different beds,” he added quickly, clearing his throat. You’d thought that much was obvious, but you weren’t about to tell him that. God, you hate being seventeen. 

Somehow, you managed to get yourself out of that little room and up the stairs. He was right behind you, close enough to keep your mind muddled and your heart thrumming. There was no way you were going to be able to sleep. You’d be thinking about this all night. 

You said nothing to each other as you bid farewell, simply giving each other a small nod. You weren’t sure if it’s because he wanted to be polite, or if he was left just as speechless as you were. 

But as he walked away, he turned to give you one last smile for the night, letting it say everything he couldn’t. 

You took a deep breath as he walked away, the ghost of his kiss on your lips and your head whirling. 

You were excited for what the morning would bring.

a/n: !!!!! big thank you to ren, as always, for beta’ing this :( we’re in for a ride, fellas 

[kaistarus]

Crush At First Sight

Pairing: Nishinoya X Reader

Words: 2K

Summary: Attending the boy's volleyball finals was a no brainer-you'd take any opportunity to ditch school. You didn't think you'd find yourself getting so attached to one of the players...

Notes: I don't believe that someone could watch Noya play and not instantly fall in love, so I did him right

Masterlist

The only time you’d heard about the boy’s volleyball team was when someone called them ‘flightless crows’ in the hallway, which you assumed was a bad thing. However, when your friends mentioned they were skipping class to apparently watch them play in the Spring finals you were all for attending.

You’d take any opportunity to ditch school-even if it was to watch some guys lose a volleyball game.

The stadium was more filled than you were expecting. As you slid through the crowd to find three open seats you realized perhaps this was a bigger deal than you’d anticipated. Once seated, Michimiya passed everyone noise makers she’d picked up from some guys near the stadium’s entrance. You tested the bright orange cone-shaped objects by lightly tapping them together.

“So, they must have really improved this year, huh?” You said as your eyes wandered around the packed stands, apparently you weren’t the only ones skipping school today.

“They got a new coach,” Michimiya said, bouncing lightly from nerves and anticipation, “and a lot of talented first years.”

“Not hard on the eyes either,” Aihara nudged your shoulder and gestured towards the team congregated on the sidelines around their coaches. You nodded slowly as you scanned the group, lingering on the unfortunate boy who got stuck with the orange jersey.

At least he could pull it off.

The teams took the court, their anticipation radiating into the audience and extending even to you as you clutched your noise makers tightly. After the whistle was blown, and the first serve made, the game of Karasuno vs Shiratorizawa officially began.

A few minutes into the match you found your gaze latching onto the guy in the orange jersey. Shiratorizawa was terrifying, especially the big guy with his powerful spikes. You winced the first time you saw it because you couldn’t imagine receiving something like that without breaking your arms, but the libero guy was doing it like it was nothing. He had adapted to the playstyle and for every ball that made your stomach drop he would appear from seemingly nowhere and make a save.

There was something about the way he could go from intensely focused on the court to relaxed on the sidelines within moments that had you mesmerized, as well. You couldn’t help the weird fullness in your chest as he guzzled down water and smiled goofily to some of his teammates after their first set as if the pressure wasn’t weighing on him.

“What are you so focused on?” Michimiya asked while bopping you on the head with her cone.

“Nothing,” you said as the boys began to take the court again, preparing for the next serve. “Hey, what was number four’s name?”

Aihara’s brow quirked. “Nishinoya, why?”

“I’m just wondering...” You said, subconsciously smiling when he slid and barely saved the ball with one hand. “He’s just pretty good is all.”

“Daichi said he’s their ‘Guardian Deity’,” Michimiya wiggled her eyebrows at you.

“Boys are so dramatic.” Aihara scoffed.

You couldn’t argue that one.

As the sets continued you found yourself growing increasingly attached to Nishinoya: heart dropping if he missed a ball, swelling with pride anytime he made a play, and you’d even find your cheeks warming whenever you caught sight of him smiling to himself or a teammate. It was becoming embarrassing, truthfully, considering you’d never even talked to him.

“Alright, at least pretend you’re not obsessively staring at him.” Aihara nudged you playfully as the fourth set wrapped up and the boys were switching sides on the court.

“I’m not.”

Michimiya giggled, bopping you on the nose. “You geek out every time he touches the ball. It’s not hard to notice.”

“You’re one to talk. As if you haven’t been fangirling over Daichi.” Aihara leaned back, sighing dramatically. “I’m trapped between a pair of lovesick fools.”

“I don’t even know the guy,” you felt your cheeks warming. “Even if I did he probably wouldn’t be interested in--”

“Have you ever met Nishinoya before?” Aihara interrupted you. “Like, at school or in any context? Heard about him or talked to him… anything?”

You shook your head and they both started laughing lightly before Michimiya put a hand on your shoulder. “Trust me, you’ll be fine.”

You tilted your head in confusion, but before you could form a retort the ref’s whistle signaled the start of the final set. Your grip on the noise makers were tight as both sides fought strongly, neither willing to lose a single point and give up their chance for nationals. It felt surreal when Karasuno pulled that final point. Everyone erupted into cheers as the three of you held onto each other, jumping and shouting, unable to contain your excitement while celebrating the boy’s well earned victory. Boys who were currently dogpiled in the center of the court while the third years had tears streaming down their faces in disbelief.

It was an honor to be a part of and you couldn’t have been prouder to have them representing your school. When they lined up in front of you and bowed to thank you all for your attendance you clutched your hands against your chests. They really earned the win.

You were pulled out of your randomly emotional train of thought by Aihara’s grip tugging you behind her as they shuffled out of the stands.

“Where are we going?” You asked when they left the gym opposite the stadium’s exit.

“We’re going to congratulate the guys!” Michimiya sent a smile over her shoulder and your heart accelerated to an unhealthy pace.

“I don’t know if I’m mentally prepared for that scenario,” you pointed toward the opposite end of the hall. “Maybe I should just meet you guys outside and-”

“Oh no you don’t,” Aihara began pushing you forward by your shoulders and you started to whine in protest. “You are strong and fearless and no boy shall knock you down.”

Michimiya giggled ahead of you where she remained completely useless in your time of need. You let Aihara guide you through groups of people finding their way toward the exit until you all spotted the boy’s team in their telling Karasuno volleyball club jackets.

You did a quick scan of everyone, but didn’t see the spiked hair you’d been observing for so long. You weren’t sure if it was relief or disappointment you felt.

“There he is,” Aihara gave you a squeeze, pointing near the far wall where Nishinoya was digging through his duffel bag on the ground, eyebrows furrowed and tongue stuck out adorably in concentration. Your heart started pounding at the sight of him so close. The bizarre realization that he was in fact a real person finally hit which made your palms sweaty.

“As it turns out. I have decided to denounce myself from boys and am going to live a life of celibacy.” You nodded confidently, trying to make a u-turn, but Aihara annoyingly spun you around.

“Shut up,” she rolled her eyes. “Just talk to him. I promise it will work out.” She patted your shoulder. “Trust me.”

You glared at her, mumbling insults under your breath as you slowly walked over to where Nishinoya continued to dig through his mess of a bag. You took a deep breath and decided your best move was to just deep dive straight into your doom. What could possibly go wrong?

“Uh, Nishinoya, right?”

He glanced at you briefly, looking you up and down before continuing to dig through his bag.“Yep, do need you help finding someone?” He triumphantly pulled out some IcyHot before pointing toward where the rest of his team lounged. “Most of the guys are over there.”

“I was actually hoping to talk to you.” You winced as you noticed the bruises that decorated his arms when he started to peel off his jacket.

“Why? Is something wrong? Do you have a message for me or something?”

“No… I just wanted to tell you how amazing I thought you were today.” You quickly glanced away in embarrassment when he finally looked up at you with wide-eyes. You dug your toe into the ground as you urged yourself to continue, “I was watching you and just thought you were really cool and--”

“Sorry,” he chuckled and put a hand up to stop you. “I was actually wearing the orange jersey. Number four.” He pointed to the others in the center of the hall again. “The guy you're looking for is probably over there.”

You blinked. “Nishinoya. Orange jersey. Number four. Libero. Guardian Deity or whatever.” Your embarrassment was dissolving into frustration. “Is that you?”

“Yeah?”

“Then I’m looking for you.”

He stared at his bag as his brain tried to process the situation you’d presented to him. Suddenly, his gaze whipped up at you. “Holy shit,” he pointed his finger at himself. “You’re talking to me.”

“Have been.”

He tensed and locked his eyes on the IcyHot he was currently trying to rub on his back. He quickly threw it near his bag and you felt another fond smile growing on your face. “I’m Nishinoya,” he said, extending his hand toward you before shoving it down to his side. “Wait, you know that. Shit, were you complimenting me? Did you just call me cool?”

“I did do that, yeah.”

His face turned a bright shade of red, “but you can’t do that it goes against all the rules.”

“What are you-”

“Look,” He pointed his finger between the two of you causing you to raise a brow. “I’m supposed to flirt with and compliment you, then you say something mean that hurts my feelings.” He smacked his shoes for finality. “It’s a strict formula.”

“What’s the formula for when I flirt with you then?” You asked, a sly smirk spreading across your lips. His shoulders went up to his ears and he stared at his hands longer than you felt necessary for such a simple question.

He looked up at you defeated. “I don’t know I’m bad at math.”

You covered your mouth to hold back the laugh trying to force its way out. He was just so cute though. “Well, so am I, but mutual flirting seems like a good solution. If you were an interested party that is.”

“I’m a very interested party…” He murmured under his breath while narrowing his eyes at you. “Did Tanaka put you up to this?”

“I don’t know who that is.”

He furrowed his brow in thought before pulling a flip phone out from his duffel and holding it out to you, “can I have your number?”

Your cheeks dusted pink as you created your contact under Nishinoya’s intense gaze. He hurriedly checked it’s existence when you returned the phone to him, staring at it skeptically while he cradled the phone in his hands.

“I promise it’s mine.” You reassured him and he embarrassingly snapped the phone closed.

“Okay,” he mumbled.

“(Y/N)!” Aihara yelled from where the rest of Karasuno’s team was grouped and not so subtly staring at you both. Your face slowly blossomed red and in your peripheral you saw Nishinoya flip off the ones waving at him. “We’re heading out. Are you done or do you need more time with your-”

“I’ll be right there.” You interrupted, glancing back to Nishinoya. “I’ll, uh, talk to you soon?”

He shot you a double thumbs up and you couldn’t stop from snorting at how adorable that was, especially when he started at them in shame. You waved a good-bye and narrowly dodged the small group already sprinting to Nishinoya while you weren’t even a few steps away.

Aihara wrapped an arm around your shoulder as your eyes lingered on boys rubbing Nishinoya’s head, bouncing around excitedly, or giving him suggestive looks. You felt your stomach rolling from embarrassment at all the attention he was receiving from such a small interaction.

“Ignore them. They’re just stupid boys.”

“I guess…”

“But one of them’s your stupid boy.” Michimiya said, poking you in the stomach. You swatted her hands away, and chewed your lip to keep down a smile when your phone vibrated. The ‘hello :)’ from an unknown number made your heart flutter.

Yeah, one of them was your stupid boy.

[babytortie]

unexpected

unexpected. ❘ stanley uris x reader.

a/n: this was requested by anon - love ur recent stanley fic! was wondering if you’re cool with doing a smut for him? (aged up of course!) if you’re comfortable, could you make the reader more dominant in bed/stanley being more submissive? perhaps and enemies to lovers, hate sex type. other than that, any plot line is just fine.

* hope this lives up to your expectations! tyty for requesting this one.

summary: in which stanley and reader argue worse than richie runs his trashmouth. after burning some pent-up tension one day, the two take a turn for the better and become more than just enemies.

warnings: s m u t. some fluff at end. <3

contains: enemies to lovers, degrading, hair tugging, harsh kisses w/ slight blood, mild orgasm denial, praises, rough and unprotected sex.

* all characters ( including reader ) of the loser's club are 18+ in this one-shot.

~ 3.4k words.

you twirled a strand of hair between your fingers, a magazine placed on your lap, and beverly's head rested on your shoulder, looking at the pages with you.

it was the summer and the group was all back home on break from college. the loser's wanted to hang out and all eight of you were at bill's house right now. on various couch cushions and seats in the living room. his parents were away for the night and the seven brought clothes to stay at his just in case it got a bit late.

"oh, do you think he's hotter? or him?" bev asked, leaning in closer to point at the page. it was some magazine about the hottest actors of the year, achievement wise. though some hot men that were in it was currently grabbing beverly's, well, and your attention too. you glanced down at the page, slightly comparing both actors and voiced, "definitely him."

the guys overheard this and rolled their eyes. they were taking turns playing on bill’s newest nintendo sixty-four. on the floor below you, sat the four a few feet away, this was because they wanted to be scooted closer to the television. even though it was perfectly fine to put their backs against the couch. typical males.

you worried for their eyesight, especially richie’s, since right now he and bill were battling on some game you didn’t know the name of while being too close to the screen. eddie was on a chair next to the couch and sat by you, wheezing as he watched how close of a tie it was between them. mike and stanley were sitting on the floor with them on either side, cheering on who they wanted to win.

this was while ben sat on the other side of bev and read some book that just came out earlier this week. a quarter of ben’s focus was on his hand. it was resting on beverly’s thigh and drawing small, mindless shapes in content. the two were newly dating after pinning on each other for forever.

"i think we should play would you rather!" mike turned his head and suggested after hearing your conversation with the red head. bill had just died on the game causing richie to jump up and cheer while blowing out the other three's ear drums.

ben closed his book and sat up straighter. he took a glimpse over at beverly to see what her decision was. eddie hesitantly agreed when you and bev nodded. “s-sure!” bill got up and pulled stan with him.

one weekend about four years ago when the denbrough’s were home and bill had the group of losers over, they noticed how you all squished on the seats in the living room. surprising bill with an extra couch a month after this, they were able to successfully squeeze it into the room and push it against the other wall.

the four others started to pile on the other couch a few feet away from the three of you and eddie who still sat on the single chair next to you. beverly pulled her head up and leaned over to whisper in your ear, “be nice to stanley please.”

knowing it wasn’t funny, looking at her anyway with a confused expression, you lied. "stanley who?" she immediately turned her neck back at you, probably receiving some whiplash and raised an eyebrow to challenge you.

"i'm serious y/n." beverly laughed dryly. you sighed and replied a short agreeable response. “alright bev, as long as he doesn’t start it, then i won’t do anything.” after, you zipped your lips and threw an imaginary lock in the direction behind eddie.

she smiled at you in thanks and then you two turned towards the room, noticing everyone was ready. “b-being as it w-was mike’s id-dea, he can g-go first.” bill announced while glancing around the room.

mike nodded and turned to the one who still wore coke-bottle glasses years later. “richie, would you rather never wear underwear again or never wear socks again?”

ben and bill stifled a laugh, already knowing what his response was going to be. eddie rolled his eyes as richie answered, “underwear since i go commando sometimes anyway.”

you put your finger in your mouth, pretending that you were about to throw up and mike shook his head at richie. you turned to your right and left, seeing eddie’s and beverly’s disgusted faces.

”okay, eddie spaghetti.” he paused. the seven of you looked at eds, who had already put his hand over his face in annoyance. you and beverly laughed when the shorter boy muttered, “here we go.” richie smirked and continued. “would you rather, accidently send a nude to your boss or your parents? and by parents i mean your mom and i.”

he rolled his eyes, “absolutely not richie. my mom would never get with you and i would die of embarrassment if it were sonia. she’d probably kidnap and lock me in my old room, never to be seen again. probably boss.”

eddie turned to you after the group cackled of laughter, especially richie at the response he was given. the two of you currently shared a science class together in college and the asthmatic based some of his question off of this. "alright y/n, would u rather hook up with one of football players or with mr. jackson down at the science lab?”

you placed the palm of your hand on your cheek, into a thinking position and replied. "well, i kind of answered that question at last weekend’s party?" beverly jumped up at this and gasped. "no way! with which one?"

"i don’t kiss and tell." you smirked. the others gagged at that. “ah okay, i see. that’s where you went when we couldn’t find you again.” ben commented. stanley had been a bit quiet during the conversation and decided to speak up. adding to this, while looking at you pointedly. "you kind of just did tell and admitted at the fact that you sucked off some guy.”

you weren’t usually the type to get flustered during conversations like this. instead owning it as if you weren’t bothered. this helped you avoid any teasing or any richie’s usual jokes. "at least i'm getting some!" muttering in stanley’s direction.

"i swear if you guys argue for one more minute, i'm going to shoot myself. go y/n. it’s your turn." mike spoke up in between you and stanley, trying to get the game rolling again.

you smiled, feeling a little eager at the next question. you looked at the curly haired sitting across the room from you. the others groaned knowing you were about to pick on him in some kind of way. "uris. for the rest of your sex life, would you rather be the top or bottom?”

he blinked in your direction, probably wanting to smack you for the inappropriate question. “depends, is it with anyone specific?” you looked down sheepishly, then back up. is this a trick question? i mean sometimes you did find stanley a little bit too attractive. “do you want it to be?” deciding to quip back with equal attitude, you asked.

the group looked between the two of you while waiting for a response from uris. the tension was so thick that it could be cut with a knife. letting out a scoff in return, he looked at you in the eyes and glared. speaking in a low tone, you almost didn’t hear him. "uh, i don’t know.”

"what do you mean? you don’t know?" richie snickered.

bill, beverly, ben, and mike started to get the picture together. eddie figured it out just a second before them, when you burst out giggling. before you could stop from helping yourself, you let out a harsh jab. “oh shit, that explains why you’re always so uptight! maybe you should unbutton some of that polo? might help so you aren’t choking on all that innocence."

that only made matters worse, the last pin in place to set him off. stanley angrily spewed some words under his breath. only catching your name, you figured it was most likely something badly about you. quickly getting up from his spot, his curls bounced up and down when he rushed upstairs to one of the bedrooms.

the others watched him disappear from the top step sadly and looked back at you with the look. you had the decency to look a bit guilty, an awkward grimace on your face. "uh, why are you all looking at me like that?"

eddie leaned over to elbow you and gave his puppy dog eyes in pleading. you sighed but started getting up anyway. you laced your hands together in front of your stomach, nerves a bit jittery at being in a room alone with him. "well, to state my case we were all having that kind of discussion! if he wasn't such a prude..." you trailed off.

ben got up, patting your shoulder. "we all know this but stanley is sensitive about these kinds of things. go apologize while we're on break now and we’ll get some drinks going."

you nodded and turned back around, starting towards the stairs and walked up slowly. richie decided this was a good time to be the loud trashmouth that he is and shouted. "it was nice knowing you, y/n!"

shaking your head, you reached the last step and rounded the corner. hearing a slap noise, you assumed tozier was probably getting hit on the back of his head. a moment later a "beep beep" came from mike and you let out a small laugh in relief that they had your back against the loud mouth.

strolling down the hallway, you spotted the second guest bedroom door closed and decided to knock on it. stan heard a faint knock and got up from the bed to open it, seeing y/n he groaned. "oh, it's just you."

you ignored his disappointed comment and bit your lip. looking up and down to observe his new look. he must have just changed. wearing a regular light blue t-shirt and grey sweats. you shook your head and looked up to see his grin, catching you in the act of checking him out.

rolling your eyes in response, like he usually did and walking around him, you closed the bedroom door shut after stepping inside. you grabbed a handful of stanley’s shirt and pushed him against the back of the door. more like he allowed you to do this but you were definitely in control of the situation.

you leaned in towards him and swiped the back of your thumb over his bottom lip to test his reaction. when he didn’t swat your hand away, you went on the tip of your toes and brushed his lips against yours.

stanley gasped into your mouth and deciding to use this as an opportunity, you placed the tip of your tongue on the bottom of his lip. right before you could actually do this, he apparently read your mind and left his mouth open purposely. you wanted to slap him.

nonetheless, he allowed you total access. surprising him on purpose, you shoved your tongue in his mouth. wishfully thinking about how you wanted to somehow choke him with it. he grabbed both sides of your shoulders and scooted you closer, clashing his teeth with yours. not wanting to let up the control he tried to grab, you grasped the back of his neck tightly and felt light-headed. sensing wetness pooling between your thighs from enjoying this too much, you cursed to yourself.

a small moan escaped out from your lips and as if it was his fault, you nipped his bottom lip. you tried to quickly get rid the thought of ever giving into stanley uris. he hissed sharply, tasting slight blood from the nick. uris mumbled. "bitch."

this angered you more. pulling away from his lips, you put on a fake smile. moving in a bit closer to mess with the collar of his shirt, you tugged on it roughly, your face still close with his. "ready to not be a virgin anymore, virgin?" you retorted.

he smirked, "as long as i'm not one anymore, i don't care who it's with. even someone like you." he emphasized in a nasty tone. you pulled the shirt up over his head and uttered out. "shut the hell up." stan hummed happily after his shirt was pulled up to see that you were glaring from his reply. the two of you heard loud steps down the hall by the stairs, so you placed a finger over his mouth.

after a moment later, you heard what you assumed was someone in the bathroom, closing door the shut. letting out a breath not realizing you were holding it, stanley took this as a distraction to slip your finger into his mouth. you gasped, eyes widening, "what the hell!"

pulling your hand back, you spoke and stared in his eyes to let him know just how serious you were. "here's how it's going to go if you want to get laid, uris. we're doing this my way. don't play around anymore and definitely don’t talk too much so i can picture literally anyone other than you."

stanley looked into your eyes, searching for any hints of a lie from your remark. when he saw your eyes looking clearly back into his, he sighed in defeat. not letting it show, he grinned nastily. ”fine by me, y/l/n.”

"now, bird-boy are you sure you can handle this?" you stated more than questioned, an eyebrow quirked up. you held onto the top of his sweats with an eyebrow quirked up. he clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth together so hard he hoped they wouldn't crack. "fuck you y/n."

“no, that’s what i’ll be doing to you.” disagreeing and putting your palm over him. “what do we have here?” you asked out loud, in general all snarky. he let out an annoyed noise when he felt you tease fingertips across his hard length. so, in retaliation, he grabbed your wrist and pushed the palm of your hand harder onto him.

you gasped at how big he was. you tried to cover the surprise, a ‘tsk, tsk’ falling from your lips. not letting go quickly enough stanley noticed this and smirked at you. frowning, you murmured. "ever heard of patience? such a bad boy."

uris let out a small, quiet groan from feeling your hands come off of him. which was something you caught and figured having teased him enough, you put your hands around the waistband of his pants. tugging them off along with his boxers. afterwards you pushed him down onto the bed and before he could do anything, you quickly made work of your shirt. pulling it over your head and unclipping your bra as well.

he put a hand through his curls, smoothing them out from the fall when he fell into the comforter. watching you, he could feel himself hardening painfully. he felt needy and done with the wait. pulling your wrist closer he pleaded. “come on, hurry. please y/n.”

”fine, you’ve waited long enough like a good little boy.” stanley flushed at your approving compliment and tried to hide it, looking down. you saw this when you moved to sit on top of him and smiled. grabbing his chin lightly, you tilted his head back up. while looking into his light brown eyes, you held his wrist and tugged his hand so it laid over on top your breast.

stanley’s breath hitched and you moved inwards toward his neck. your warm breath was touching his skin, feeling cheeks reddening more. uris felt, palmed, and squeezed a little as you sucked small hickeys on his neck. not to dark but enough to be just visible if one were close up.

kissing his cheek and tilting back up, he dropped his hand and you happened to see his cheeks and neck all red. the quick switch of his attitude still shocked you to the core. ”are you sorry for calling me a bad name, baby?” he ignored your comment like a brat and kissed the inside of your wrist. you melted a little in his touch before going back to the task at hand.

you slowly let out of his grasp to unbuckle the belt and unbutton your shorts. you shimmied out of them and wanting to hurry up, you just moved your panties to the side and out of the way. pumping him a few times, you started to align him to your center. before you moved down onto him, you placed your hand on his cheeks in a sweet gesture and silently asked for reassurance. he nodded and you slowly slid down into him, both of you letting out small moans. “feel so good.” you muttered.

stilled for a moment, you let yourself adjust to his length and him to the feel. your hips went back up and you moved in forward, kissing him again. it slowly turned into a sloppy make out when you slammed your hips back down again. his tongue shoved in your mouth when you gasped in pleasure. after you found a rhythm you babbled on and on about how stanley was doing so good for you.

"i need you to put your fingers on my clit and rub." you said softly but still in a demanding tone. directing his hand exactly where you wanted it, you nodded when he looked at you again. his fingers moved quickly, drawing out an orgasm that you felt nearing.

lacing your fingers through his curly hair. stanley let out a loud moan as you tugged the locks. "now for the sake of you being able to cum, i'm going to ask again. are you sorry my baby boy?" he really didn't want to have to see the satisfactory in your face if he apologized. though, after a small moment went by, he realized that you weren't joking.

he let out a small, almost incoherent whine. pleading you with his big hazel eyes, "i-i'm sorry y/n. so sorry, c-can i cum please?" stanley would have never thought he'd be the submissive type but he found himself melting at your praises, quite easily. he liked letting you have some control and for once being able to sit back.

you smirked at him and let go. patting his cheek in almost a mocking way. "awe such a good boy but i think you can wait another minute." his eyes widened and you placed your hands back up onto his chest, steadying your balance before moving your hips back up and down repeatedly and harshly against his. he moaned when you kept going back down on his cock. feeling his pelvis right up against your very sensitive bundle of nerves, you squirmed.

stanley smirked, feeling you tighten around him. knowing you were close was a relief. constantly feeling so good on him made him hard and straining inside of you. tears prickling in the back of his eyes and wanting to cum so badly was difficult. uris felt not wanting to disobey you was more important as he patiently waited. pushing harder on your clit is what caused you to unravel, tightening completely around him. "oh fuck! s-such a good boy. cum with me now."

he came so hard, the hardest ever. which wasn't much to go off on, from the obvious conversation before. feeling euphoria, you rode through your high and his, milking every last drop of cum. you started to feel shaky. before your hips gave out, you placed one last kiss on his slightly darkening hickey.

after you fell on the bed next to him, he pulled you close. you turned your head in his embrace, eyes widening. you knew without a doubt they looked like they were probably about to fall out of the sockets. assuming even bigger eyes then richie's usual ones due to his glasses.

uris pursed his lips, kissing the top of your forehead before he could overthink it. “we need to talk. y/n/n." you tried to open your mouth, but closed it again. stanley used your nickname, he has never used it before. you were in disbelief, frozen, and unable to say a word. he rescued you and spoke up again. "you know i don't hate you, right?"

you swallowed feeling like a brick was falling from your shoulders and nodded. "i don't hate you either stan. this is not what i was expecting though to make up." you giggled causing him to chime in. the awkwardness was finally settled but you paused and asked nervously. "do you think we're worse than eddie and richie?"

he shook his head, not even needing to think on it and responded sweetly. "no, we're okay now and i have a feeling that richie will tease eddie even after we're all dead."

you laughed together once more, agreeing with stan’s opinion which would probably be a proven fact one day. "that's true. poor eddie!" snuggling closer into his back and finally, truly feeling at peace.

© babytortie on tumblr + wattpad.

[withteeths]

Maybe Steamrolling Games is Bad Actually

Videogames are unique in that they are inextricably tied to corporatism and have been since birth (this is an oversimplification but roll with it). This means that to an extent most companies even since the ’80s have never really cared about proper preservation or easy access to their titles. Nintendo carts were originally manufactured to have their battery die in 3 years so you would have to buy a new one (this failed, but it’s why you still see a lot of dead carts floating around). I think there's a nostalgia issue within the gaming fandom regarding "oh x was great back then" but a lot of the time, games manufacturers have been historically shitty and anti-consumer and it’s just that they now have the tools to execute it much more effectively. Regarding obtrusive DRM, that’s an issue PC games have had since their zenith, where if you lost your original copy of a manual or a small plastic key you could never play a game again because the codes were individualized for each copy and support would refuse to give you a new one. Even back in the arcades, there were particularly batshit examples like the CPS board, which I shit you not was built to explode a battery pack filled with corrosive acid if it detected you were attempting to repair or modify it. There’s a lot to say about the current state of games but what I would likely illustrate is that 2/3 major consoles are racing to decide who will be obsolete first. Games consoles are reaching a point where they are trying to emulate PCs with more restrictions and DRM. We're already seeing interest in steam spike again and it’s likely that eventually, we will see almost a crash for consoles where no one can justify the price for games they can play on a PC rig. The only solution I see there would be a merger between the two consoles which feels inevitable. 

That being said as interest in the PC space increases again so does attempts at entering the bubble. We have Epic, Origin, Microsoft, Indiegala, Itchio, and Steam all vying for attention, requiring accounts, and offering exclusives to justify the use of their storefront over others. Some people think this is a good thing because it's breaking up Steam's monopoly but it literally is not, if you ever really wanna hear me rant ask me about Leftist obsession with itch being some sort of ethical steam, which it is provably not. In the end, the real sort of saviour figures that work to preserve games are random ass people on the internet. I know people who automatically assume that at the end of the day, companies care about games preservation too, and they usually have a three-pronged argument that cites a) Steam’s ability to allow the redownloading of delisted games, b) retro companies periodically rereleasing titles for modern consoles in compilations, and c) companies doing limited reruns of a game that fans request. All three of these examples are basically an incredibly effective use of diversionary tactics, but most of the time when someone cites these I just assume it’s a misunderstanding and not outright malicious intent because a lot of the time companies will attempt to actively implant these ideas to build brand loyalty.

My main dissertation is usually that Steam is incredibly selective with what titles you can redownload, and most importantly, corporate benevolence is more-so a band-aid on a gaping wound! There’s no contingency for when Steam might migrate to a new service, go belly up, or become obsolete when a new OS is created. That means thousands, tens of thousands of dollars worth of games are just gone, permanently, along with fan mods, DLC, and content. It’s a terrifying thought that not many people bring up when discussing the problems with game storefronts that focus so much on providing a cloud and have DRM attached to every purchase. In a way, Steam preceded the trend of not allowing consumers to actually own the things they purchased, and they’ve avoided criticism by strategic use of silence and creating the illusion of a company being made by the consumers they’re attempting to serve. At the end of the day, Steam is a business, and if you ever lose access to your Steam account, or they decide to up and leave one day, you will not be able to play almost all of those games, even if you have them installed on a hard drive, because if you’re online, they connect with a server to ensure your steam account has the ability to play them. When it comes to other arguments like the limited rereleases or use of compilations to preserve arcade titles, I usually just beg people to look at community-driven options that have existed for years. The Scott Pilgrim game is a big source of contention, but I would point out that for years now, it was playable, for free, with all the DLC, on PCs. Preservationists didn’t wait for the gods of Universal and O’Malley to rerelease it for 30 bucks or save up to snatch the fucking ridiculous 200$ limited edition with shitty paper cut-outs, they straight up just did the work to make the game free and available. RCPS3 has (with a contemporary build) been able to run the game pretty flawlessly for years now, in fact, it was how I played through a majority of the game in high school on my shitty brick of a laptop. If you look further out than this one example then it gets even better, MAME and other emulation backends have been able to play obscure, unfinished, and homebrew titles with 100% accuracy, on almost any setup, for free, for decades! I found out about many of these options back in 2015 or so, certainly late to the curve, but I never really questioned as to why emulation, games preservation, and some key titles being available on PC remained some sort of arcane, unknown knowledge to most people interested in games. In the end, the answer was a highly effective propaganda campaign that combined with strategic use of DMCA takedowns has resulted in the concept of communal games-preservation and emulation becoming some sort of debate, where people will wholeheartedly side with corporations in some sort of quest for preserving things the “ethical and correct way,” which is code for preservation on the condition that it remains profitable for the IP owners.

 I think the best way to illustrate this would be with the community built around the preservation of an infamous PS4 title, PT. The story of its inevitable delisting from the storefront and the messy breakup between Kojima and Konami is well known, so I won’t regurgitate it, look it up at your own leisure. What is significant here is corporate reactions to attempts at preserving the game, which can basically be boiled down to Konami acting with borderline rabid fervour to prevent redownload, redistribution, or recreation of a seven-year-old demo, released for free download. Mentions of solutions to redownload the game have been taken down, fan-made recreations for PC, and archival servers that store a copy of the game for future preservation or emulation. Usually when this is brought up a debate occurs citing that technically speaking, Konami has a right to do this whenever they want, for whatever piece of media they believe infringes on their copyright. On one hand, yes this argument is factually correct considering the current state of copyright and ownership of media, but on the other hand, what compels someone to step into the ring for a multi-million dollar company with the primary argument being “well actually, people SHOULDN’T be able to play this specific video game until it benefits the shareholders”? In my opinion, it’s some sort of corporatized symbiosis where players believe that, if you cull the bad actors and play by the rules of the company, you may be able to eventually play the game a couple of years down the line. Sure, this has happened in the past with a few isolated cases, but it can’t be stressed enough that this is a genuinely dangerous and reductive position for people to take regarding games preservation.

 I have two colleagues, Mariken and Fotocopiadora, who released a short interactive title called Videopulp (playable here: https://fotocopiadora.itch.io/videopulp). It’s a dramatic reimagining of a real historical event, wherein a promotional event was held in 1994 at Lelystad to destroy bootleg carts by a figure in a Mario costume. This perhaps best encapsulates something I am pleading with younger generations to understand, as an archivist, art historian, and creator: corporations are not your friends, and they never will be. With the rise of online circles of leftism, this concept is starting to gain traction but is starting to be polluted with concepts of fandom and tribalism. This has lead to arguments that while *most* corporations are bad how could you say that about Nintendo? Or Valve? Mario is so innocent and characters like Wheatley are beloved by all! I feel some people don’t realize that they can enjoy a select title or character without enlisting in a corporate faction in the battle for “best company” or “best videogame”. It leads to a parasocial kinship with a nonexistent figure that was hand-crafted to ensure consumer loyalty to a certain brand. It’s depressing, terrifying, and should stand as a disquieting example of how the grip of capitalism on works of art has permanently distorted how we think and engage with media today. So, what’s the solution? As always I can never really provide something concrete that’ll act as a cure-all, only things that people in games need to work towards. Bring up conversations about games preservation, create archives for your own work, support archivists and boost their work whenever a new discovery is created, and try to promote optimism and solidarity in your hobbyist communities. I’ve noticed a lot of futility being intertwined with the future of AAA gaming, use of online storefronts, and the inability to own pieces of media anymore, and I feel this should be pushed back against, even in a minute way. Open-source programmes still exist that allow you to hold on to what you have purchased, offline and ad-free options exist for games launchers, e-readers, and media players. The future isn’t bright, but it is not a place without hope, and as long as people continue to enter communities with passion and ingenuity, I think we have a chance at stopping the events at Lelystad, 1994 from happening again. 

[sea-side-scribbles]

Fanfiction: Sympathy For A Downer

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22737214/chapters/73379652

Chapter 52

Arthur was overwhelmed with feelings when he went back to his hideout. His life as a Downer had been changing ever since he met Nick. And now, he wasn’t alone anymore. He met Nick everywhere. He wasn’t only in the tunnel, but also in every shop, in every house he broke in - yeah, he had to admit to himself that he was breaking into people’s houses, not very often, but it happened, because he couldn’t find everything he needed in the Garden District - but also on the street. Nick’s music was playing everywhere. He was certain he had heard the entire new record multiple times now. Also the Wellies sang his songs while strolling around. 

But most important was his own voice - it was as if Nick kept talking to him, comforting him.

On the one hand it made his lonely tours more pleasant, on the other hand, he had to take care that Nick didn’t distract him too much. There seemed to be a swarm of butterflies fluttering up whenever he heard just a single note. 

While taking a shower, he caught himself humming one of his songs to himself. “Smile Again“ was somehow fitting, as if Nick had secretly written the lyrics for him.

One moment, he found it absurd that he was standing in a scruffy shower, in an abandoned tunnel where some time ago some workers had most likely perished from a bad badge of Joy, warbling a song to himself, and feeling happier than ever before.

The next moment he told himself to stop wondering at things in a town like this. The only one he thought he should wonder at was Nick.

How could a fucked up place like this create someone like Nick? Someone as innocent and peaceful? Everyone thought he was crazy, but instead he was the most sensible Wellie he had ever met. 

Well, perhaps not that sensible, because he got involved with someone like Arthur.

Arthur was in fact surprised about himself, that he didn’t make a mess already. Nick seemed to bring out the best in him. With him by his side, he suddenly enjoyed everything in Wellington Wells, even the depressing Garden District. And he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Arthur was in fact taking a shower because he didn’t want to approach Nick being all dirty and smelling of Motilene. In the old days he had been so rushed and afraid, that he hadn’t spent too much time on cleaning before running to the next hatch. He didn’t like the shower too much. The water was only lukewarm, and full of Joy. 

Cleaned and properly dressed, he went to Nick’s suite, that he also kept clean. Only the surfaces of course, he wasn’t digging into Nick’s private stuff, but enough to keep this in it’s original state. The suite was the only pretty place in this tunnel and he didn’t like it when something so neat got dirty. And in a way, it was also his home. 

“Nick?“, he asked carefully, but unfortunately he didn’t get an answer. He assumed the rockstar was still busy. Then his gaze fell on a silver shimmer that came from his bed. That was new. Arthur stepped closer and found a letter that had his name on it. Curiously, he lifted it up. 

“Arthur, darling,

I brought you a little something.

I miss you too,

yours Nicky“

The message was written with a pink pen and circled with a heart. It looked incredibly kitschy, yet Arthur couldn’t stop staring at it. Then he eyed his gift and his heart missed a beat. 

Chocolates. 

No one had given him chocolates before. It was something you don’t buy for yourself, it was something romantic. Arthur carefully opened the box and marveled at the little pieces of chocolate that looked almost to neatly to be eaten. For a second he had to pause and fight the tears back that forced themselves on him. 

By the looks of it, he now had his own kitschy and romantic relationship, with flowers and chocolates, strolls in the park, dinners in expensive restaurants and wild nights, the way he only knew it from the penny dreadfuls that had sometimes found their way into his hands in lonely evenings. The way he thought it would never happen to him, until he believed he would hate it anyway. And there he was, almost crying. He wanted to thank Nick for everything he did, for everything he had already given to him. But he assumed that would look rather silly. 

Still, he thought about visiting the rockstar again. Mrs. Oliphant was pestering him anyway, telling him he should write another article soon. The “O“ Courant really had a crisis. Nothing happened, or at least nothing they could inform a decent Wellie about, so they had to exploit their old articles over and over, hoping that no one would notice. So Arthur could just as well come by with the excuse that he had more questions about the band’s new success. At last, that felt better than copying his old article. 

He didn’t dare to touch the chocolate yet. He put it back on the bed, saving it for the moment he would come back here with Nick and try it with him. He hummed another song while walking to his house.

The Bobby at the entrance remembered him. 

“Here, Constable, for your supply“, he said and handed him a sandwich. He didn’t want to knock him out after all. 

“That’s too kind of you, Mr. Hastings“, Hunt said cheerfully. “I’m afraid Mr. Lightbearer is away, handling business with Mr Memento. But the rest of the band is here, in case you want to ask them out.“

Arthur wasn’t too disappointed. He knew it was never easy. So he could at least do his job while waiting for Nick. Hunt let him enter.

“Virgil, is that you?“, someone asked and came round the corner.

“No, it’s just me, Arthur. From the “O“ Courant. Do you remember me?“

“Arthur“, said the man he recognized as the drummer. “Of course I remember you. Could it be that you’re not here for entirely selfless reasons?“

“Oh, well…“

Now also the two guitarists joined them.

“You’ve come just in time to play a  game with us“, they said.

“A game? Well, if you think…“

“Sure. First you help us, then we help you. Come on, it’s gonna be fun!“

“Don’t be a Downer, Arthur!“

”A Downer, me?“ Arthur laughed nervously. “How ridiculous.“

He looked into their faces, realizing that there was no way out. Games were almost sacred in Wellington Wells, you didn’t just refuse them if you didn’t want to raise suspicion. So he went along.

“So…what are we playing?“, he asked and then jumped backwards.

The lead guitarist had brought out an electric truncheon. Arthur prepared for a fight, but Chris calmed him down.

“Hey, don’t worry, it’s not a real weapon. It only tickles. It can be very useful though.“

He eyed the truncheon, almost lovingly.

“If you’re into that sort of thing…“ Arthur didn’t like where this was going. The last time he saw one of these was in the Reform Club.

„Come on, who doesn’t like Simon Says?“

Arthur laughed with relief. “Oh, I do. I love that game!“

“What did you think?“, Brad asked him grinning.

Arthur made an embarrassed noise.

“Nothing, I had no idea.“

He followed the band to the telly, that they turned on to watch Uncle Jack announce the game.

“Did he say we need an electric truncheon for this?“

They laughed.

“No, but we like to spice it up a little“, Matt explained. 

“If everybody is a winner, where’s the challenge?“, Brad added.

“Heads up, it’s starting“, Chris said.

Arthur did his best to act like he had a blast. Uncle Jack’s instructions were quite easy. He remembered it to be a bigger challenge to follow his orders, but he guessed that the Joy had made it harder to remember them. He kept thinking about Nick and the moment he would finally come home and find Arthur like that. But he wouldn’t mind, right? It was the town’s most favorite game after all, no matter that it looked silly.

Suddenly something hard and cold hit his hips and a spark of electricity ran through his body. It was enough to startle him.

“What are you doing?“, Matt asked him laughing. “Are you even listening?“

“I’m giving my best, I swear“, he replied, adjusting his hair with his hands. He feared it would stand on end. Promptly, another shock hit him.

“Wrong order, or do you have your feet on your head?“

“I wasn’t finished !“, Arthur protested.

Now moving was harder.

“Are you sure this is harmless?“

He didn’t get an answer. Instead he had to turn around in a circle, so that they wouldn’t zap him again. Uncle Jack was now more mean, aiming at tiring the players out. Anyway, Arthur felt ridiculous. He remembered it being more fun, but now he couldn’t imagine it being everyone’s favorite game. Victoria Byng for example. In fact, she had never appeared to the breaks when they had played Simon Says, and that would have been a show indeed. He imagined her slapping her own face. A very funny image that made him grin widely. His grin vanished when another shock came upon him, making him gasp in pain. The shivering was more persistent now, so was the tickling.

“Poor Arthur, looks like it’s not the best of your days“, Chris teased him, not noticing that Uncle Jack was giving another instruction. Sniffing his chance for revenge, Arthur grabbed the tickler and gave him a charge that made his hair stand on end too. With his long hair it looked even more funny.

“You have to pay attention!“, Arthur shouted. But the tickler was soon snatched out of his hands and used against him.

“He didn’t say Simon Says!“, Brad informed him. Arthur skillfully wriggled the fake weapon out of his hands and payed him back.

“I think he did!“

Because of his carelessness, the tickler could change his owner again, this time it was Matt.

“This isn’t about what you think“, he said laughing and hit Arthur’s leg. For a second it gave up and Arthur fell on the floor, dragging the bass player with him.

“Holy shit.“ Arthur crouched away fro the other man, still shivering. The tickler rolled away.

“Oh, no no no…“ He followed it to make sure he wouldn’t get another shock from it. It was enough for today. But Chris quickly stepped on it.

“Not so fast, Artie. You have to give others a chance too.“

“Not in this game“, Arthur decided and turned on the electricity. It ran along Chris’ leg and he jumped away, moaning. With his loot in his hands, he planned to climb on the coffee table to ask for a break, but a moment later he lay on the ground again. Nobody payed attention to Uncle Jack, everyone just tried to get the truncheon from Arthur. Arthur, who wasn’t quite all there anymore, dealt out shocks until Brad shortly but effectively twisted his arm. Then he himself got his share. The typical scent of electricity filled the room while they exhausted their own energies. Some time later they all lay on the floor, moaning and scratching their itching spots.

„And that’s Simon Says for today! I hope you had just as much fun as me - but what am I saying - of course you had fun! And you’re sure to turn on tomorrow, at the same time, for another episode of Simon Says with Uncle Jack, that’s me!“

“Fuck off“, Arthur thought. He heard that a door opened in the corridor. His flight instinct came back, but he was too exhausted to get up. He only moaned a little louder. Footsteps came closer.

“What happened in here?“, he heard Nick ask. “Must’ve been a drop-dead program“, the rockstar giggled over it. Then he found him

“Arthur!“ Nick knelt down next to him.

“What did you do to him?“, he asked the helpless band that couldn’t answer. When he tried to touch Arthur, a spark flashed over his fingers.

“Ouch!“

“Careful!“, Arthur heard another voice say. It had to me Morrie’s.

“I won“, Arthur suddenly muttered. It had occurred to him as important for a second. Nick stared at him, but there were no more words.

“Looks like Simon Says to me“, Morrie said while Nick watched him pick up the tickler. “Does that belong to your special inventory, Nicky?“

Nick felt the tickle at the mere thought.

“I forgot I still have that.“

Then he shoved his hands under Arthurs back and knees and lifted him up.

“I…better put him on the couch…he’s my guest after all…“, he explained to Morrie and put Arthur down on fluffy cushions.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?“

Arthur made an incomprehensible noise as an answer.

“How did they get him to play?“

Morrie took it calmly. “I’m sure he came here all by himself to stick his nose in our business again.“

Nick sighed. He believed to know better.

“You’re probably right“, he however said. 

Looking back to Morrie, he saw that he had lifted up Matt. Nick feared it would look suspicious if he gave Arthur to priority, so he helped Morrie to give the others a softer bed. Even though he thought they didn’t deserve it. He was sure they had planned to knock Arthur out so he couldn’t ask any questions. Teasing the journalist, as usual. He had to admit that most of them were a pain in the arse, but not Arthur. Nick would’ve loved to tuck him up, but that would’ve been even more suspicious. 

“I guess we can only wait for them to wake up“, he told Morrie.

“Or we go upstairs and enjoy our peace and quiet“, his lover whispered.

Nick understood that he couldn’t watch over Arthur now.

“He’s safe here“, Morrie added, forcing Nick to set himself in motion. He took the tickler.

“I better confiscate this, just in case they plan to play another round.“

Morrie eyed the weapon. “Looks like this is going to be an interesting night.“

“I’ll do whatever you say, Morrie“.

His lover gestured him to follow him, before he went upstairs. Their day had been wonderful so far and Morrie was in a very good mood. 

“But don’t over do it, like some people“, he added. His lover kissed him.

Arriving in Nick’s room, he said: “You worry about Arthur, don’t you?“

“Well…’worry’ is too big of a word, but they could’ve been more careful with him.“

“You like him“, Morrie said and Nick felt a shiver run down his spine.

“He’s okay for a reporter.“

He didn’t like Morrie’s look.

“What?“

“I don’t trust him“, his lover said thoughtfully. “He’s hiding something.“

“Oh, Morrie, everyone hides something. Us too.“

“Still…we shouldn’t allow him to come so close. It’s enough that he stays overnight.“

“Of course, Morrie. We have to wait until he can walk. Tomorrow, we answer his questions, so people remember us again, he goes home and all is well.“

“And then he’ll come back.“

“Sure…Any reporter would try to get at us sooner or later, there’s nothing we can do about it. And why not him? His article was smashing and the photos were stunning - especially yours. He must have a soft spot for you.“

Nick stroked Morrie’s half unbuttoned shirt.

“What’s that supposed to mean?“ Morrie gave a flattered grin.

“Well…it could be the reason why you don’t trust him.“

Morrie’s eyebrow twitched.

“What are you getting at?“

Their fingers played with each other.

“Perhaps that you don’t like to let people get close to you“, Nick said quietly.

“I let you get close“, Morrie whispered back.

“For that I am deeply grateful“.

They kissed again, explored each other as if they met for the first time. They liked what they found.

“Just be careful, okay?“, Morrie asked after a while.

“Yeah“, Nick sighed, searching for his lips again.

“You can decide who your friends are.“

Nick impatiently bit his jawline. He was done thinking for now. Pulling his lover into a tight embrace, he hoped that he would grant him some tickles.

A dazzling night later Nick awoke, wrapped into a pleasant cloud of sleepiness. He lay on Morrie, who was reading a book.

“Well, my long sleeper, how do you do?“, Morrie quietly said and kissed his forehead.

“Are you awake for long?“, Nick asked, eyeing the book.

Morrie turned back. “I guess, a few pages…“

“Why didn’t you wake me up?“

“Because you need your beauty sleep, my darling. And also I found it very cozy in here.“

Nick chuckled a bit. “I wonder if our manager ran away. I didn’t hear anything from him yet.“

“I’m sure he’ll come back soon enough with a last-minute appointment.“

Nick yawned and stretched extensively. Then he stayed in bed anyway.

“Wake me up when he’s back“, he muttered from under the blanket.

“Oh, I will.“ Morrie put down the book to look at him. “And I’ll protect you in case that reporter dares to bother you again.“

A sudden realization flashed through Nick’s body.

“Oh…right…he’s still waiting for me“, he muttered, trying to sound annoyed.

“Perhaps not anymore. It’s late after all.“

Nick felt remorse. “How late?“

“Almost 10 o’ clock“, Morrie said, looking at his watch. 

Nick sat up.

“Are you getting up for him now?“, Morrie promptly asked.

“What if he’s still here?“, Nick replied. “The earlier I talk to him the earlier he’s gone.“

His lover had to agree to that. Nick left the room, adjusted his looks in the bathroom and went downstairs, following the sound of chattering. He found his band and Arthur sitting in front of the telly again, talking and looking alright.

“Good morning, lads“, Nick made himself noticeable. “Are you okay?“

“Nicky“, he was greeted happily. “You’re up so soon, what’s wrong? Is Kitty coming back?“

Another shiver ran down Nick’s spine. “Not that I remember…“

“You’re long awaited“.

Nick looked around, all alarmed until he noticed that they were pointing at Arthur.

“Oh, I guess I’m at your mercy now.“

“It won’t take long, if you haven’t got the time“, Arthur said.

“I have time“, Nick assured him. “Virgil isn’t here, right?“, he asked the band.

“No, I guess he has better things to do“.

“So there’s plenty of time“.

Nick led Arthur upstairs into the third floor, because he couldn’t invite him into his bedroom when Morrie was still there. He hoped that Arthur didn’t mind. They made themselves as comfortable as possible. At least they had a bar in that floor.

“Are you thirsty?“, Nick asked, pointing at it.

“Er, no, thank you.“

“Are you sure?“

“I don’t drink alcohol before noon…Not that I’m judging it or something…“ He stuttered, wishing he could kick his own shin.

“Okay“. Nick looked rather amused. Then he turned more serious. “Are you alright? I can help you if you’re hurt.“

He took his hands.

“Yeah…I’m okay…“ Arthur returned Nick’s squeeze.

“Listen, Nick, I only wanted to thank you. For your present. I was so happy to get a message from you after that lonely night…“

“Oh, Artie…“ Nick lifted his fingers up to his lips. “I don’t like to leave you alone. But I have to go back to my band now and then, or this won’t work.“

“I know. I see that you’re busy. This is a full house.“

“Yeah…but beautiful, isn’t it?“

“Yeah…it’s like a different world that I’m invading.“

“Arthur…you’re not invading, you’re welcome. There’s always someone to let you in.“

“Right, someone else who’s busy…“

“So what? You’re a reporter, you have to do your job. People have a right to read about me“, Nick joked to cheer him up. “Did they hurt you. Did they force you to play?“

Arthur shook his head. “No, they’re quite nice. I think they wanted to play anyway and I just came by. I’m surprised they didn’t kick me out. Anyway. When we could move again they downright swarmed around me to see if I was okay. Then they let me stay overnight even though it wasn’t curfew yet. And this morning they told me you normally sleep late and spent even more time with me. They answered my questions so I can give my boss something to read.“

Arthur couldn’t hide how much he wondered at that.

“See? They like you“, Nick said softly. “After all, what’s not to like about you?“

Arthur was flattered.

“I think Morrie Memento doesn’t like me.“

Nick gulped. “ Well…he…I think he feels that you are…different“, he beat around the bush. “I mean that you’re not taking Joy, maybe…“

Arthur tensed. “Shit….I should really go.“

“Oh Arthur, I’m so sorry…“

“It’s not your fault, it’s mine. I can’t stroll around like that and expect no one to notice…“, he said more bitterly than he had planned.

“I’ll come back soon“, Nick whispered. “You don’t have to put yourself in danger to see me.“

“I was so naive coming here…“

“Don’t beat yourself up, my dear. Nothing happened so far.“

Arthur nodded, looking like he was eager to leave.

“Hey, Arthur“, Nick held him back. “We still have some time. Morrie won’t watch us now and when I escort you to the door you’ll be fine. If you want your interview, you can get it.“

“You don’t have to…“ Arthur shyly pulled out his notepad.

“Nonsense“, Nick said cheerfully, putting his legs on the table. “I could talk about myself all day. What do you want to know?“

[chikkou]

I'd ask this on your Lisa sideblog but you don't have anon on and I'm shy lol, but do you have any headcanons relating to Lisa the First? Like Lisa's views on religion, her relationship with her mother, if any of the various worlds we see mean anything?

hoh man i didnt even know anon wasnt on LMAO... ill turn it on after i post this!

also fuck YEAH i do holy shit i fucking LOVE lisa the first!! i know its sort of the black sheep of the lisa series, since it is a completely different type of game and was clearly austins first game, but i fucking ADORE it dude. the music - which he made ENTIRELY IN THE FREE TRIAL OF FL STUDIO BY THE WAY - is FANTASTIC, the art direction is actually pretty fucking incredible for an rpgmaker game that uses a good deal of basic assets, and the gameplay.... ok yeah that part is a bit lacking but its a yume nikki-style game be nice it was his first time LMAO

ANYWAY back to ur question. first and foremost, i think this is not even a headcanon so much as straight up canon, but lisa DESPISES christianity. marty is christian, probably catholic given the golden crosses everywhere, and he is a fucking scumbag hypocrite. lisa likely associates all of christianity with this line of thinking, as there is one room in the bile area where the melted martys (although i suppose we can just call them joy mutants now LMAO) simply stand in a circle surrounding one big cross. the role of the melted martys is up for interpretation of course, as is everything, but after playing the painful and seeing them described as “mindless sheep,” i think this is how lisa viewed them. so they likely represent other people that, to lisa, are probably just as sick and disgusting as marty

lisas relationship with her mother... i go back and forth on this one a lot. i can never decide if i prefer the headcanon that lisas mom died in childbirth, and so lisa never met her, or if i prefer that lisas mom was around for a very short time and then either left or died. the fact that she says “i didnt want to leave” at the end of the first leads me to believe that she most likely died. in either case, the memory of her mother was clearly important to lisa, as she wears her pendant through the entire game and its explicitly noted as being a gift from her. in either case, i think that the death/absence of the mother is heavily implied to be the primary cause behind martys descent into alcoholism and lisas abuse, since the white room strongly implies that marty did at one time sincerely love and care for her as a father properly should 

as for the meaning of each of the rooms, i think most of them are fairly self explanatory, but some of them are a bit more vague, so ill break it down in terms of how i see it (and ill put them under the cut because its long as hell):

martys house - this is the most literal one. pretty self-explanatory. the dark, yet vibrant colors and the ear-bleedingly loud tv are pure sensory overload, something lisa probably deals with on a regular basis. when lisa goes outside and it turns into a sky of marty faces, i think this is the transition into the psychological part of the game

the lobby - this is honestly just pure yume nikki ripoff LMAO... but if i had to ascribe a symbolic meaning to it, i think its probably a quiet and safe area for lisa to retreat to in her mind when she needs it, but even that eventually gets sullied as tricky rick makes his way there, too (and tells her hes “just waiting” when she talks to him). the majority of gameplay is lisa searching for items with which to kill tricky rick, who always abuses and disparages her whenever she talks to him, telling her she’ll never forget. as for the reason why... well, take one look at him and its pretty clear whats going on there. (the name is also a reference to richard nixon, whose nickname was... well, you can figure it out!)

the town - the bar area is 100% my favorite from this world; lisa clearly hates alcohol and anyone who drinks it, associating them all with marty, and that music... all i can say is YUCK. the entire section also consists of lisa having to give up something in exchange for what she needs to move on, and usually getting the raw end of the deal out of it (she gives one marty a banana, he gives her a banana peel in return). she does all that while avoiding a marty following her outside who repeatedly tells her “you cant escape,” and upon reaching tricky rick (who is atop a narrow, columnar, PINK mountain), it becomes pretty clear whats happening to her. 

the sea room - fucking marty spiders man. im assuming they represent the sickly feeling of crawling skin she gets when she looks at him or is anywhere near him, but holy GOD they are annoying to deal with. she kills tricky rick with pills here - we dont know what kind of pills these are, but i interpret them as sleeping pills, and given the rumbling music and the rapid cycling marty background, i wonder if he forced her to take these. marty is everywhere here, but the only one she can speak to is seen chilling on a raft of some kind. marty likely spent much of his time recreationally, i.e. drinking, so it makes sense why this would be here

the rope room - theres no symbolism here this is just pure comedy (LMAO). if i HAD to assign some meaning to this area, it would be that lisa likely is so despondent at this point that putting in effort to do anything feels utterly pointless, much like climbing this long-ass rope was

the white room - as i mentioned earlier, i personally believe that this area depicts the previous relationship between marty and lisa (and also has one of my favorite songs in the game). he is shown doing traditional fatherly things - he is no longer wearing sunglasses and is wearing a suit, meaning he was likely employed, and is actually smiling. he also spends time with her in a completely platonic, familial way. when she interacts with him, there is a little heart over his head. after lisa walks through the golden statues (which will reappear later), the entire world becomes filled with bile, and martys appearance returns to that of the other martys, but with an extremely warped, grotesque face. the item she needs in this area to kill tricky rick is found between two golden crosses.

notice that all of the items she kills tricky rick with - a razor, pills, and now a plastic bag - are things that a child could plausibly get their hands on; none of them are explicitly weapons. i think this shows both her age and how often she must have considered using those things against him. 

the bile room - probably my favorite area in the game, and also features what i consider the quintessential lisa song. this area really drives home lisas disgust with marty and with christianity as a whole - it almost certainly has the highest concentration of crosses, and it is also quite literally covered in wall-to-wall bile, dirty water, and disgusting houses. a lot of the most graphic sights, like the melting martys and the pond martys (no idea what to call them LMAO) are here, so i think this is pretty much the lowest circle of hell for lisa. marty gives lisa a freshly cut finger in exchange for a napkin here; im not necessarily sure what that represents, but i think the napkin was used by marty to masturbate (as he says “i needed that” after he takes it), so perhaps the finger is martys?

lisa kills tricky rick here in a cave that is not-so-subtly shaped like a penis, and gets a vhs tape in which he pretty explicitly states what is going on in the game; he even pretends like he doesnt know who lisa is at first, which somehow makes it even more disgusting. the fact that vhs tapes play a role here sort of makes me wonder if marty really WAS filming some of what he was doing, and given that lisa the joyful confirms that brad was forced to somehow participate in lisas abuse, that is.... horrific to think about, honestly

the marty tape - this tape just has the player (as marty) walk up to lisa and suited marty, who are having a tea party with a plastic tea set. they both get hearts over their heads if you talk to them. i think this drives home that he and lisa did once have a normal relationship, and perhaps theres some part of marty who misses that? theres a LOT of ways you can interpret this; having the player become marty really calls a lot into question.

the mansion - the room leading here has a marty staring directly at the player who informs lisa that she needs a sword to progress. unsubtly, the sword must be placed into the crotch of a womans statue. the mansion inside is beautiful and ornate, and easily the most gorgeous area in the game - and it all leads to what appears to be a proto-joy mutant marty, sort of looking like jabba the hutt. i dont doubt that this is intentional, given that jabba the hutt is associated with slave leia, and its not at all a far leap to call lisa martys slave. the golden statues of women, as well as many golden crosses, are everywhere in this area. its actually quite a large space with a lot of thought put into it, so im really upset that i cant figure out more of what it represents LMAO

the final area - lisa seems to go back to her actual house, but upon leaving her room and entering whether the living room would be, the whole area changes. she encounters herself in a blood red room, but when she talks to the other lisa, she turns into marty. i think this represents a clear question - who is lisa without him? IS she anyone? or is she just a vessel for him to do with what he pleases? she encounters a naked marty telling her to give up shortly after, and flees from him, but is followed by voices repeatedly telling her that she must accept her fate. i think this clearly show the mental state of lisas last days. she was tormented, eternally. she truly felt there was no escape from marty. even the background becomes nothing but martys face, over and over again, as the end screen flashes.

at the end text, she finds a video tape, and in the tape sees someone who is ostensibly her mother from behind. she apologizes for not being there for her, but when that figure turns out, its martys face that she sees. the sky turns into marty. the music becomes corrupted and overrun with pretty fucked up laughter. she tries to run, but marty is already everywhere. theres nowhere for her to run. and then the game is over.

note that the video tape comes AFTER the games end screen, which stops not long after the appearance of the naked marty. so i personally believe that the “game over” represents her deciding to take her own life, rather than just give up and accept her fate. by running from him into the blackness, she got away from marty the only way she could have. it is sad and horrible, but that is honestly the best ending that she could have gotten in this game.

the first is definitely not as good as the painful in terms of gameplay, that much i can agree on, but i really think people miss out on a lot by not playing it. i think its really crucial to see lisas life from her own perspective before you can see it from brads - after all, brad may have known more than anyone else about what was going on, but he did not experience it like lisa did. for brad, lisa is a symbol of his own regrets and failures, but lisa was a PERSON (well, in-universe anyway LMAO). she suffered on her own, with pretty much no one to help her, and then she suffered so much that she couldnt take another second of it. 

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

this DLC has me FUCKED UP and i keep screaming

spoilers for Bounty of Blood under the cut, keep reading at ur own peril. Also some Guardian Takedown spoilers for anyone who hasn’t beat it yet

tl;dr: a comparison between something taken from BL2 and a thing taken from Bounty of Blood. more spoilery tl;dr below the cut.

also the siren thing is not spoilers so i’ll share it here for anyone curious, it’s just this: siren tattoos are blue but when lily absorbs eridium in 2, they turn pinkish/purple. just like how vaults do from bl1 to bl2. they’re white/blue in bl1, then purple-pink in bl2 (and tps), y’know, after Eridium begins erupting from the ground. just a neat little detail i noticed that im not entirely sure was intentional but im gonna believe it is.

tl;dr: Gythian Blood = Core and the Ruiner is of Eridian Origin even tho everyone in the DLC likes to say it was created with Jakobs’ bioengineering. disclaimer: idk if I’ve found every hidden ECHO so I may be missing a few things but I have done every side quest and took ample screenshots of all important dialogue in the DLC : )

“man i just sat here for like 15 minutes staring at my keyboard mentally comparing core and eridium like the dumb bitch i am. 

it's not like we can do an actual comparison because we have no idea what the natural fauna of gehenna was like before jakobs came and mutated everything with core unlike pandora where we know what skags and rakk and shit were like BEFORE the eridium crust erupted. 

altho!!! there's a neat comparison between joey ultraviolet and rose. like obviously he wasn't getting tattoos and was just doing lines of crushed up eridium but the point stands they both have glowy eyes and unique powers so i don't necessarily think this means rose is a siren just because she has magic powers especially when we know she got the whistling passed down to her from her grandmother. 

especially because we've never seen a siren interact with core before. altho that leaves the question we have seen core tattoos now what are eridium tattoos like? actually rose's tattoos were on her right arm obviously she isn't a siren as we know them right now (I saw a post on reddit where people thought rose was a siren) 

of course that brings up the point perhaps siren tattoos ARE eridium tattoos. but then we hear the general's log about how the devil riders were tattooing a man with core and blood so obviously they're not ‘naturally’ occurring unlike siren tattoos. so odds are they're probably not equivalents but something interesting i thought of while thinking about this is how well siren tattoos compare to the Vaults from borderlands 1 and borderlands 2″

anyway. this is all ive been thinking about. yes yes i know guardian takedown post but! >:( im still salty even tho this update has been lovely (outside of Blane not getting his correct damage scaling ‘till today......). so i’ll do that at my own damn pace. now let me elaborate so i can sleep at night lmao

Eridium

refinement produces slag, which weakens people and can mutate things

has mutating properties, mostly with imbuing elements into shit- possibly causes insanity

seems to be connected to another dimension, likely the one the Eridians are from

Core

has a secondary form of Infused Core

has mutating properties, mostly regarding a thing’s body and mind

apparently radioactive

there are some things i wanna note

1) People throughout the DLC say the Ruiner was created by the Jakobs corp (the company) thru bio-engineering but I’m 99% sure that’s not true. The paperwork seems to me like they found the egg somewhere on Gehenna and decided to roll and experiment with it like all corporations do when they find weird alien shit. so maybe they experimented with whatever was inside the egg, but I don’t think they actually created it entirely

“Excavated from [REDACTED] ... Local legends speaks of a [REDACTED]. This theory is not endorsed by our research personnel.

2) The Ruiner’s design reminds me a lot of the Warrior.

3) Core immediately reminded me of Gythian Blood from Guns Love and Tentacles and I don’t think that’s coincidence to have 2 back-to-back DLCs where the big bad is focused on green death juice. I think Gythian Blood and Core are of the same stuffs.

4) Therefore, I think the Ruiner is (mostly) of Eridian origin (if you haven’t already guessed). 

This gives us an amazing look into how the Eridians actually create their beasts!!! And I’m so happy they showed us this.

(side note, Interitus Regina (the long name for Ruiner) literally means Destruction Queen and I think that’s beautiful <3)

i mean the idea that they plunge them from orbit to create an explosion similar to a nuke is fucking horrifying (but holy shit I love it so much ahhh it’s so cool!!!!)

the one side line from Oletta about how the company couldn’t control the Ruiner deffo makes me double down on this theory. I’m not entirely sure how Rose’s grandma knew about the whistling (I don’t think I’ve found every echo log in that area YET), but I would bet it was part of the testing given how many fuckin’ tape players they have throughout the facility. The Warrior was controlled by verbal commands via Jack, so it’s possible that the Ruiner was intended to be controlled similarly, but Jakobs intervention (or something like the way Rose hatched it) fucked it up.

now we know the Warrior was created to protect the Vault of the Destroyer (hmm.) so what the heck was the Ruiner created for? Ruiner is a name given to it by Jakobs/the people of Gehenna so we can’t really assume, but then again the monster names are pretty apt in this series even tho they probably technically shouldn’t be. 

it was only an egg, so maybe it was another test of Core? A Vault Monster incubating until it was ready to protecc and attacc but was never hatched because the Eridians ‘sacrificed’ themselves before it could? (I’m still not convinced the Eridians are the good guys. Listen. LISTEN. The guardian takedown is something to think about, BUT it doesn’t disprove that theory and I’ll stand by it because I 100% trust the Overseer more than bitchpants mcgee over here who thinks he’s soooo special for no reason fuck you and your dumb ‘I did what the Watcher could not’ bull you haven’t done shit.) ok sorry im done he just angers me. stupid guardian man. your whip is stupid and you should feel bad. oh also I totally called us actually being Guardians thru Guardian Rank before the game came out aha yeah.

I definitely think Gythian was a test/use of Core from the Eridians. We see in Bounty of Blood that core seems to mutate more the physical (and occasionally mental) parts of people, like with the crew challenges u do for Juno with all the weird hybrid people and whatnot. Gythian had the whole ‘the heart still beats’ thing going on (which is definitely a physical mutation if i’ve ever seen one), plus the whole, you know, mind control and shit. Which is p similar to what the menta gnats can do when charged with Infused Core. And keep in mind in BLaT we see DAHL notes on what happens to test subjects when injected with Gythian Blood. They mutated physically and went insane.

What im saying is Sirens and Eridium and Elements are connected, so what does Core equal? body/mind sure but are there unique creatures for core (yes holy shit I’m not talking about h2o au for once and FINALLY they gave us a canon name for the green stuff!!!). If not, I’d love to see a Siren interact with Core to see what it does to them. seriously why hasn’t tannis interrupted us yet. horrible excuse for a science lover (kidding kidding, I love her). I’d also really love a fuller rundown on what the hell Rose’s powers were. Because the whistling thing seemed to just be her grandma’s thingie passed down to her from her mom

but the core stuff

her gun seems to be infused with it. So did her sword thing. I didn’t really get a good look at it i was too busy trying to see thru my blurry tears of LOVE for this DLC.

Strangely while her tattoos are (mostly) green I actually don’t know if they’re core infused bc look at this

n look back at hers. hers aren’t very lime.

anyway

her eyes

I’d love to know if the core gives her immediate future sight or just increased perception or reaction times. there’s a huge difference but she seemed to be able to shoot the gun outta the sheriff’s hand near immediately and it seems kinda implied its because of the core (or at least because her eyes are glowing green)

there’s a possibility she has some unique core powers/possibly implants because of her relations to the project in the first place, or as leader of the devil riders after looting the facility. it’s really hard to say without more info and like i said im not sure if i missed an ECHO or two or not regarding her backstory :( 

Her hair is also green which I just noticed. Maybe she has core powers bc her grandmother got suuuuuuuuper irradiated/influenced working on project horizons and it passed down thru her n Rose’s mom, to Rose. Tannis does have a line about Sirens having unique hair colors and, if Sirens are linked to Eridium, perhaps those linked to Core also have unique hair color. Could also explain why only Rose seems to have those whistling powers. That said we don’t really see anyone else trying that whistling thing out afaik and idk if it was, like, a special ability or a certain tone/ditty or w h a t. 

i know being vague with everything gives them more creative freedom to create amazing characters and scenarios, but dammit I want A N S W E R S.

All THAT said man I’m so glad magic is real in the borderlands universe. oh, sorry, “magic”. It’s magic. Science it, tannis, I dare you. either way, I win. Either it’s magic and H2O AU is canon, or it’s science and I finally get my goddamn answers. Hey gearbox can you make a book just explaining all the science and eridian stuff. please. I’d love you forever. please. pleaheheheheaaasseee it’s all i’ve ever wanted.

oh also can i just say, suuuper disappointed we didn’t learn anything about anshin. Really wish non-fan favorite corporations would get the spotlight/lore for once. Like, I like Jakobs as much as the next guy, and I get WHY they did it (can’t have a corporation looking too good!!!) but they now have 3 DLCs (Jakobs Cove, GLaT, and Bounty of Blood) and also a hefty chunk of the main game. Like... we all know Jakobs fuckin sucks, look at what they did on Pandora. I really just want info on a medical corporation 😭 I have to do everything my damn s e l f. but SERIOUSLY IMAGINE the possibilities that could come from a medical corp getting its hands on eridian tech. like, yeah obviously the weapons corps are gonna use it for weaponry and stuff BUT WOULDN’T THE MEDICAL CORPS MUTATING PEOPLE MAKE MORE SENSE??? ldfhgldfshg I have to do everything my damn self...

anyway all that aside, this is definitely by favorite borderlands dlc by a LONG shot. Nothing comes close. Ahhh the lore, the nuclear aspect, the a e s t h e t i c (seriously, have I mentioned how much I adore Trigun???), the art, the music, the cryoslinger, the fact I can bust out going beeEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAans like Ray Chase at any time and it will MAKE SENSE. I love all of it.

oh, also, Rose is totally not dead. C’mon, they couldn’t find her body. She pulled a Lilith. “Are you sure she didn’t just suffer a wound that LOOKS fatal, only for her to come back in a blockbuster sequel...?” is a line from mr Jones himself (the movie guy)

I just hope when she comes back she gets to meet Captain Scarlett. I’d love to watch their interactions plus pirates and or ninjas. That’s 2 DLC villains now that have vanished without a trace. And I like Captain Scarlett way more than Rose (seriously I spent the entire beginning of the DLC complaining about how her voice bothered me- I was so happy she was a villain, I was hoping that was the case).

oh yeah, reminder, the people of vestige were living next to highly radioactive egg for likely years. i feel really bad for them :(

also!!!

this made me smile

[unpopularly-opinionated]

My friend shared with me this reddit thread where someone outlined a list of features they claim are “missing” from CP2077, and because I’m me and like to rant, I wanted to go through it and agree/disagree based on what I think should or shouldn’t be in the game.

So probably spoilers below, at least for gameplay.

- Walk toggle for keyboard.

Agree.

- Key re-mapping for certain elements.

Agree. The game has some rebinding functions, but not enough to be honest.

- Accessibility features missing (ie: text scaling for menus).

Agree.

- In-game benchmark feature.

Personally, I think this is somewhat extraneous and I wouldn’t knock a game for not having it since most games don’t, but sure if they add it I wouldn’t complain.

- Dash should be a separate key and not a double press of walking key.

HARD agree. It’s beyond me that they thought it was okay to have that as-is, honestly. It makes moving around while sneaking a huge pain because you accidentally dodge which puts you into a standing position which can reveal you easily. At the absolute least, they should disable dodging when crouched, but ideally allow it to be rebound to something else.

- Crouch and skip dialogue should not share the same key.

Again, HARD agree. It’s possible to rebind the key (I certainly did) but something I noticed is that, while the dialogue no longer skips when I press crouch, it doesn’t seem to register the crouch button at all while in dialogue, meaning you can’t uncrouch if in dialogue.

- The minimap is too zoomed in to be helpful in many cases.

I only noticed this as an issue while driving, personally. You’ll be going 90mph down the freeway and not know that your turn is coming up until you’re already 90 miles beyond it. Outside of that, I’m not sure why you’d need the minimap zoomed out but hey if it fixes it while driving, I’m for it. Agree.

- Missing a toggle aim feature.

Quality of life, sure. I won’t use it, but agree.

- Ability to respec attributes (Note: Existing item respecs perks only)

Personally, I disagree with this. I think respeccing perks is fine because some of the perks are kinda lame so I can understand wanting to undo that, but I feel like respeccing attributes would sort of negate the purpose of developing a character a certain way. It makes multiple playthroughs more valid, forcing you to develop your different characters different ways. Sooo disagree.

- Ability to disable objective marker.

Agree. Mild nuisance to be sure, but still a nuisance never the less.

- Ability to lower ADS sensitivity.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Add proper ultrawide (21:9, 32:9) support.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Add loot by area or/and autoloot feature.

Eh... I don’t know. I think there should be a “scrap item” button when looting added but I’m unsure about a loot all or autoloot feature. It’s a change that I personally think falls under “optimizing the play out of the game”. Disagree.

- Add “stash all” feature.

And then some. Inventory management is atrocious in this game, it’s actually unreal how they thought it was okay to ship it like that. You can only manage one item at a time, and the UI needs to completely reload each time you do. It’s obscene. Hard agree.

- Add transparency option for HUD elements.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Add way to remove mods from unequipped weapons.

This was actually sort of news to me. I’ve just been scrapping weapons I unequip with the mods still attached, assuming the mods were just going back to my inventory. Evidently that’s not been the case, but I haven’t actually noticed it as an issue because mods are so frequently found. A bit arguable, to be sure, but I don’t see why guns couldn’t return their mods automatically when dismantled. So agree, I guess.

- Add toggle mouse acceleration.

Quality of life, sure. Agree.

- Driving markers and onscreen trajectory (alternative GPS).

I don’t actually know what this means. Does this mean have the line leading to your objective be in-world as opposed to the minimap? I can maybe see that being a thing, I guess. If that’s the case, agree.

- Body slider customization (height, weight, muscle mass).

Eh...I’m ambivalent on this one. It seems extraneous in that it’s unnecessary and just something someone wants rather than something the game strongly needs, but at the same time, with as much marketing that went into how customizable your character is in this game, it’s sort of depressing how poor the character customization really is. Because of that, part of me wants to agree with this, on the grounds that the game was sort of sold to us this way. So I’ll say I tentatively agree.

- Very few options for some of the character creation features (hair colour, tattoos, skin complexion, scars, etc).

See above.

- Animations for eating and drinking (excluding scripted ones).

The problem with adding animations to consumables is that not only would you need one for each type of consumable but that the animation would then need to completely play out each time, which can give players burnout. Going to have to disagree with this one.

- Unable to remove underwear outside of inventory.

I assume this means giving the player the ability to run around stark naked as opposed to in your underwear, and weirdly enough I have to agree. Much like the character customization, a significant amount of attention was paid to the fact that this game has nudity, and yet nothing is done with it. Even in the areas where you’d expect nudity to play a part (I.e. having sex, showering, etc.) it doesn’t, so it begs the question why even implement it?

- Vehicle customization.

This is going to maybe sound odd given my next answer but I kind of agree with this one to an extent. You can buy a fair amount of vehicles in the game, but you can’t customize any of them. At the very least, changing it’s colour and/or design I think is warranted.

- Apartment customization.

This I disagree with, again, to an extent. This isn’t Fallout 4 or the Sims, I don’t think there needs to be a fleshed-out feature to decorate your apartment. I do however think that some changes to it would be nice, even if they’re just preset changes. Like maybe the layout of misc. objects in your apartment changes as time goes on. Shit moves around, I don’t know. Or maybe you can pay for preset additions, like buying a lamp or poster or something that always goes in the same spot, but lets you feel like you live there I guess. Ultimately though, this is completely extra and unnecessary. Disagree.

- Cosmetic slots or transmog feature.

Hard agree. Again, customization of your character was made out to be a big deal, so let us wear the clothes we want to wear. The number of times I’ve had to run out in a skirt that says “Bitch” on it and a bra as a man simply because they’re my best clothes is unreal.

- Very few actual merchant stores in quantity and variety.

Quantity, I somewhat agree. The map could do with a few more of each type of merchant, although the map does sometimes already feel cluttered so perhaps not. Variety however, I disagree. I think there’s plenty variety in terms of merchants, I’m not sure what else you’d need. There’s merchants for guns, clothes, hacks, cyberware, resources, and consumables. What else is there.

- No garages or parking lots.

I assume this is related to owning multiple vehicles which I don’t yet so I’m not sure I understand where this argument is coming from. There is a parking garage at your apartment, so I don’t see why that couldn’t be a garage you can use, but ultimately I can’t weigh in on this without more information.

- Crowds have low level of reactivity and awareness to the game world.

This one bugs me because it’s like how much reactivity do non-interactable NPCs need? They run away from cars and violence. They say “oh shit” lines when you’re driving into them or shooting near them or they see a body, etc. What more do you need? Gonna have to disagree.

- Very few interactive NPCs outside of missions with meaningful dialogue.

See above and literally every open world game ever.

- Very few options to meaningfully construct a personality to V. You get to choose mission endings, but not an actual persona.

I disagree, I think you can pretty comfortably pick a persona for V. I mean it’s not the most advanced system in the world, no, but every game is going to limit your options. You can choose to be an asshole, a scumbag, a nice guy, honest, a liar, competent, incompetent, etc. It all depends on your attributes and what dialogue options you pick really.

- Lack of non-action oriented stories and quests about meaningful themes of cyberpunk dystopia.

This one I sort of agree with, but then again I’m a huge philosophy nerd so I generally can’t get enough philosophy in my games. I want every game to be as deep as Bioshock. I still have a long way to go in CP2077, so perhaps the quests get better, but many of them I’ve not found super interesting. Some have been memorable, sure, but very few, and of those not many are memorable for fitting the Cyberpunk theme explicitly.

- Player cannot smoke.

This one is just funny to me because, yeah in an RPG it’s not ideal to railroad the player, but because of the way the story goes, V doesn’t smoke. All so they can have a few funny lines of dialogue in the story, but w/e I’m okay without smoking.

- Weapon mods and skill trees largely irrelevant outside of marginal and mostly numerical improvements to combat.

I kind of agree with this. To be honest, I don’t even look at any of the stats outside of DPS and I get along just fine. I am playing on normal, so perhaps at a higher difficult these things matter more, but I can’t imagine how much more. So sure, I agree.

- Lack of emergent gameplay events in the game world (ie: dynamic and random triggers).

This falls under “how much is enough”, similar to the bit about the NPC interactions. From what I’ve seen so far, the only in-world ‘events’ that transpire are shootouts between cops and gangs that aren’t marked on your map as predetermined events. Could there be more? Sure, I guess. Does there need to be more? Eh, not really.

- Unable to alter character’s appearance (barbershop, tattoo parlors, plastic surgeon).

Agree. One mission I did, one of the rewards I received was a tattoo which made me think I was going to frequently unlock new customization aspects like that, but it ended up being a piece of cyberware for some odd reason. I think it would be neat if you didn’t have every bit of customization unlocked from the start and could change your appearance as you go unlocking more things.

- Lack of character reflection outside of the few mirrors available. This furthers the disconnection between the player and the character.

This was something I was thinking about genuinely, when standing in front of a mirror. A mirror has to be ‘activated’ in order to start showing your reflection, which I thought was odd, but I assumed it was because of performance issues which makes sense. At one point, even though my PC can’t run the game at ultra graphics, I switched over to it to see if mirrors would reflect all the time but they do not. I don’t however think we need to see our character all the time but more would certainly be better.

- No ownership of items (you can rob NPCs under their nose).

Yeeeeah, this bit I find kinda odd to be honest, especially because the UI for looting items is red which is commonly the colour used to denote “this item is owned and picking it up constitutes as theft”. Part of me thinks that the reason items don’t have ownership though is because of how clunky the stealth system is. There’s no way of knowing if an NPC can ‘see’ you or not. I feel like this is also why when you break a glass bottle or something, it doesn’t alert enemies because that would be so broken in this game because things explode all the time for no reason at all, you’d never be able to steal period. So I feel like no item ownership is because the developers know their game wouldn’t be fun with it.

- No prison or lasting crime system.

The lack of a prison is sort of explained (very briefly) in-game. The prisons are just way too overcrowded, and the police are basically a paramilitary organization who shoot on sight anyways, so there’s really no need for prisons. That said, committing a crime doesn’t have lasting consequences but again I think this is because the game knows that it’s too clunky to punish players for that. Driving is so wonky in this game, imagine if running over an NPC punished you beyond the small threat of police intervention? It would be unbearable.

- Wanted system is largely underdeveloped, with cops spawning out of nowhere and disappearing shortly after.

Yeah it is a little scuffed how cops just appear, that I will agree with.

- Cybernetics lack variety in meaningful choices that alter gameplay (except for limb weapons). Deus Ex has far more impactful mods that actually change the way you approach combat.

While I do sort of agree with there being a lack of variety, I feel the comparison to Deus Ex is a bit unfair. Deus Ex used cybernetics as it’s skill tree/progression system. When you leveled up in Deus Ex, you installed new cybernetics. That’s not the case in CP2077 though. I do however believe that outside of the legs, arms, and hands, not much really changes. I’m not sure what else they could do, but more would certainly be nice.

- The lifepaths are frustratingly brief and have little impact other than dialogue choices. V is essentially the same character regardless of path.

I can’t speak much to this because I haven’t even finished my first playthrough yet, but I will admit that there doesn’t seem to be a whole lot that comes from your lifepath. I’m playing as a Street Kid, and as someone who supposedly grew up on the streets, running with gangs, getting to know everyone, etc., it seems like there should be a bit more maybe. Like maybe Street Kids start with more gang rep because everyone knows who you are because you grew up together. The game tries to explain this away with “you went away for two years and have just recently come back” but right off the bat you meet one of the fixers who you knew and worked for before you left as if you were old friends, and two measly years is not enough for everyone to just forget who you are.

The traffic AI is lackluster and there are too few cars driving around for a large metropolis.

Disagree. There are plenty of cars for a reasonable driving experience. I don’t know if this guy was expecting bumper-to-bumper LA traffic or what, but there are plenty of cars to make the world feel alive and full while not being obnoxious and make driving impossible.

- Trains were obviously cut, even though the whole infrastructure is visible.

I genuinely don’t even know what this is referring to so I won’t comment on it.

- The world interaction is quite minimal. Among items that should be interactive: chairs, benches, toilets, stools, sinks, gym equipment, light fixtures, restaurant menus, smartphones, taxi, trash bins and dumpsters, most merchant stalls, microwaves, dancing floors, gaming tables, arcards.

This is a lot but some of it I agree with. You should be able to sit down on a lot more chairs, but at the same time I kinda understand why you can’t. The world is littered with places to sit, so much so that “Press F to Sit” would be on your screen 99% of the time. Taxis I was actually extremely disappointed were not in the game. The game literally sets up from the beginning that being a passenger in a car is a thing which gives you the impression that it’s a thing that can happen often, and that you’re able to either sit through the car ride or skip it altogether. I thought for sure that fast travel was going to constitute you hailing  cab and it taking you to wherever you’ve marked on your map, with the option to sit through the ride or skip it at-will. It’s actually a huge disappointment that that’s not the case (I even had my friend who is playing as a Corpo test whether Delamaine was specific to Corpos-only but alas, it didn’t work).

- You cannot preview wardrobe and weapon purchases.

I’ve not actually bought any guns or clothes so I can’t comment on this.

- There is no reliable cover system.

This one is odd because there is a cover system, but it’s only a weird hint of one. If you’re crouched by a low wall and you aim your weapon, you will peak around the wall, but it’s very finicky and poor. I think the game could do without one altogether, but the fact that there’s a hint at one already implies it’s intended, so it needs reworking.

- Loot system is overdone, invasive and distracting. You are constantly showered with redundant and marginally better items and have no attachment whatsoever with your fashion and weapon choices. (Dear god, I hate this one).

Hard agree. This seems like somewhat of a repeat to an earlier one about not being able to really customize your character out of necessity to wear whatever is best. Loot is prevalent, but hardly ever relevant.

- Enemies are too spongy and level design forces frontal assault way too often.

This one is interesting because I almost agreed with it until I played the game a bit more. In fact, I might’ve made a post about this before, I can’t recall, where I said that it didn’t feel like stealth was always an option. In many cases, I stand by that statement. The stealth gameplay specifically isn’t always an option, which is frustrating. If you’re like me, and you’re using stealth with quickhacking, then it becomes way more relevant. Being able to breach into a camera network and kill everyone with quickhacks is amazing. However, the game seems to somewhat punish this style of gameplay for some odd reason. I will go through and systematically kill everyone via cameras from outside the building, but the moment I step into the building, more enemies will show up out of nowhere. It’s not just that they’re hiding in areas outside of the cameras view, no they literally spawn into existence the moment you go inside. It’s really jarring, odd, and kind of unfortunate. Oh and as for sponginess...eh, yes and no sometimes. Weirdly my quickhacks sometimes one-shot enemies, and other times it takes like 8 quickhacks to kill one enemy. It’s seemingly random, or a bug, or something. I’m not sure.

- Robotics and drone control largely absent (outside of scripted missions).

Hard agree. I was genuinely shocked to find out I couldn’t control turrets when they started popping up more frequently. Drones I can let pass because they’re mobile and therefor a bit more complex to code properly I guess, but turrets are child’s play to code. They’re literally the same as cameras but with guns. It’s really odd that you aren’t even given a perk that’ll let you control them.

[vmheadquarters]

We’re still playing our game of written hot potato! Dozens of your favorite authors are taking turns to tell a Veronica Mars mystery story. Each writer crafts their chapter and then “tosses” the story to the next person to continue the tale. No one knows what will happen, so expect the unexpected!

Follow the “vmhq presents” and “murder we wrote” tags for all the installments, or read the story as it develops on AO3. --Chapter Eighteen of MURDER, WE WROTE is written by @happilyshanghaied And stayed tuned next week for Ch.19 from @elliebear75​ -tag, you’re it!

—————————————————————————————————— CHAPTER EIGHTEEN by @happilyshanghaied​ 

Veronica hobbled over to the desk Mac was set up at and peered over her friend’s shoulder at the computer screen. “What am I looking at? I don’t see anything?”

“There.” Mac’s finger hovered over the bottom of the frame. A broadcast of the back door security camera rolled, time stamped 02:37AM. The picture remained static for a few seconds, but then the door flew open and Mac, bundled in a winter coat with her collar up, rushed out of the door, dropping it shut behind her. “This is right after I saw Leo’s body being taken.” With one swift keystroke she froze the playback.

“Taken? I thought you said you noticed he was missing?” Veronica turned to look at Mac so quickly she almost threw herself off balance.

“I—yeah. I mean, I couldn’t tell who it was, there was just a large shadow dragging another large shadow across the ice.”

“You actually saw somebody dragging him off? Why didn’t you say something earlier?” She demanded, unable to stop the sharpness from leaching into her tone.

“Oh I don’t know, perhaps it was the bludgeoning I received?” Mac sighed and pointed to the gash on her forehead. “I haven’t exactly been quick on the draw, Veronica.”

“Yeah, no shit. You told me earlier that you got attacked by an adult-toddler Lilly Kane. Must’ve been one helluva knock to the old noggin.” Veronica knew her anxiety was making her short with Mac and the guilt niggled at her. She waved a hand in the air between them as if fanning the tense exchange away like an unpleasant smell. “I’m sorry. Seriously. I think the...well, everything is starting to get to me.”

“Right there with you,” Logan piped in, a gentle brush of a hand across the small of her back reminding her that she didn’t have to shoulder this stress alone.

Veronica pressed back into his open palm and grounded herself, then turned her attention to Wallace. “Okay, so you both saw a large shadow dragging another large shadow across the ice, and that’s when you decided to follow them?”

“No, that’s when Mac decided to follow them, but I couldn’t just watch her get herself Purged by that big guy and do nothing.” Wallace pressed a hand over his heart. “My mom raised a gentleman.”

Veronica grinned at him. “And you call me a marshmallow.”

“I’m gangsta.” Wallace pointed the end of a half eaten licorice stick at Veronica. “Gangsta.”

“Okay, Tupac.” Her smile grew bigger.

Logan pursed his lips in thought. “If you ran after her, how come you ended up in two totally different places?”

“Do I look like Robinson Crusoe to you?” Wallace pulled two more licorice twists from his bag of Red Vines and wordlessly handed one to Veronica. “This island is big AF, and you can barely see two feet in front of you out there. Leo has to weigh about 170, and with the amount of drag a corpse that size would produce across an uneven snow bank, it’s not short work for anybody, regardless of their size. I just assumed the body snatcher pulled him across the ice, so I headed toward the docks.”

“But not you.” Veronica’s attention returned to Mac and she gestured to the video.

“Just watch.” Mac started the video again, and roughly 90 seconds into it, the back door opened again, and a person—undeniably, a man—rushed quickly through the frame.

“Can you go back and freeze on him?” Veronica’s heartbeat started to rabbit in her chest. This was the closest thing to an actual lead they’d gotten so far, but she knew a positive ID in the dark was probably going to be a stretch.

“I could, but it would be pointless.” Mac slowly scrolled the recording back and paused on the male figure; his face was downturned and angled away from the camera. “I’ve gone over it ten times. It’s almost like he knew where the cameras were.”

“Maybe he did.” Logan hooked his chin over Veronica’s shoulder and leaned in closer to get a better look. “My dad always had a knack for avoiding the security cameras at Casa Echolls whenever he went on one of his little amourettes in the middle of the night. The way he purposely turned his head as he walked directly toward the camera, that guy moves like somebody who knows their way around.”

“I didn’t notice any staff other than Jen and myself,” Mac reported. “A catering team was supposed to show up, but they got waylaid by the storm.”

Veronica’s fingers worried the strap on her bag as she tried to make sense of all the new information. “Okay, so besides the two of you and the missing boat captain, there was nobody else outside?”

“Not unless Mistress X is lurking around here somewhere.” Mac mimed looking over her shoulder.

“Right. We have just two suspects then—two men—based on their size and shape, and one of them may or may not be the boat captain. One guy was already outside, probably hunkering down in a nearby location until we all went to bed,” Veronica surmised, her stomach giving way to an uneasy feeling as a realization took hold. “And that means—it means the other man—”

“Was already inside the house. With us.” Logan exhaled a warm exhale against the side of her neck and a shiver ran through her.

“Well, fuck.” Mac picked up a nearby bag of ice and pressed it to her head with a wince. “If I didn’t already have a raging migraine…”

Veronica trusted Mac with her life, and she knew there was nothing her friend was holding back, so this left one other person who had possible insider knowledge of the murder and the players behind it. “What do you know about Jen, Mac?”

Mac shrugged, groaning as the ice shifted in the bag. “I know her social security, her grades, her blood type, credit card debt, past employment history, every address she’s lived at over the last ten years…”

Veronica huffed out a bemused laugh. “Anything you couldn’t have lifted off LexisNexis?”

Mac‘s brow furrowed in concentration. “She‘s... kind of a cat person?”

“You’ve lived with her for six months, and the only thing you’ve learned about her is that she’s kind of a cat person?”

“You know I don’t do—” She made a hand gesture that Veronica absolutely didn’t not recognize. “Not like those plebs out there. Jen seems nice, got me a security job working a few of these live-action Clue gigs, but we’re not, like, having pillow fights or scrapbooking together on weekends.”

Logan started at Mac, blankly. “Is that what you think normal women do together?”

“I hang out with her,” Mac said, pointing at Veronica. “Of course, I don’t know what normal women do together.”

Logan’s mouth fell open, but Veronica elbowed him lightly in the ribs before he could say something snarky.

“Okay.�� Veronica reached out and touched Mac’s shoulder. “Is it possible that the blonde who hit you, the one you thought was adult-toddler Lilly Kane—”

“You are never going to let me live that down, huh?” Mac’s lips curled into a sardonic smile.

“I am not.” Veronica's grin echoed Mac’s, and she only just managed to hold back her laughter. “Is it possible that adult-toddler Lilly Kane could have actually been Jen? I mean, they’re both blonde...but only one of them has an adult shape.” She mimed heavy bosoms, then looked sadly down at her own meager chest.

Mac sighed loudly and nodded. “It’s possible, yes. I mean, I only caught a glimpse of her and had just gotten my head bashed in.”

“Great.” Veronica clapped her hands together once, punctuating the exchange. “I need you to go find Jen and do a ‘me’ with her. Can you handle that?”

“I assume that means charming her, or conning her into spilling all her secrets?” Mac looked visibly uncomfortable. “I’m not sure my brand of delightfully awkward is going to yield much success.”

“Hmm, if only I knew somebody extremely charismatic who could help you?”  Veronica’s eyes slid toward Wallace, who had just finished swallowing his last bite of licorice.

***

Once Mac and Wallace were gone, Logan slid into Mac’s vacant chair with the grace of a cat, pulling Veronica onto his lap in one swift move. She pressed her face into the side of his neck and allowed herself a moment to get lost in his scent.

So much had happened, yet she’d barely had a moment to think about how this would work, what their old, new relationship would look like. Was he really going to transfer to be closer to her? How would he fit into her life at Stanford? And did it matter? They’d both given getting over each other the old college try. It hadn’t worked in high school, nor at Hearst, and she was woman enough to admit that this thing between them might just always be a part of her. Even when Logan wasn’t in her life, he was always present in her mind, teasing at the edges of her awareness like a phantom limb.

He snaked a hand up the back of her shirt and rested it between her shoulder blades, anchoring her to his chest. “How are you holding up?”

“Physically or mentally?” she asked, leaning over to press a kiss just behind his ear. “Not that the answer isn’t the same for both.”

His hand moved gently up and down her spine. “Dealer’s choice.”

She pulled back a little bit to look him in the eyes. “I feel like a shit magnet.”

His lips quirked, the way they always did when he found something she said amusing. “You are a shit magnet, as am I. I don’t know if it’s us or this town, but I’m beginning to think we should probably spend all our time together. Maybe only half of the Very Bad Things would happen to us if we were always in the same place?”

“That’s an interesting proposition.” She fingered the soft hair at the nape of his neck and wet her lips. “How would that work exactly? Would you sneak into my dorm room at night?” She inched her face closer to his. “Or would I go to you?”

His eyes dropped to her lips. “We could change to online schooling, telecommute from our bedroom.”

Her hand slid up his neck to cup the side of his face. “I don’t know, I feel like we might not get much work done with that arrangement, and I’d like to graduate one day.”

Logan broke into a laugh and closed the distance between them, kissing her deeply before dragging his lips down the side of her neck. She gasped as he reached a sensitive spot and threaded her fingers through his hair, tugging with a breathy sigh as he repeated the move.

He hummed against her skin. “God, the noises you make...if we weren’t living through an actual horror film right now…”

Deflated by the reminder, Veronica protectively cradled his head against her collarbone. “Somebody under this roof is a killer.”

He nodded, a silent response.

She thought of all the other men staying at the house: Luke, Dick, Casey, Cole, Norris and Duncan. They all had skeletons, to be sure, there was hardly anybody from Neptune who didn’t—herself included—and they all had the financial means to pull something like this off, but something wasn’t sitting with her right.

The level of focus on her was quite a coincidence.

And coincidences were nothing but the contrived intersection of planning, opportunity, and luck.

“Logan,” she started, unsure how to bring this up. “Those character sheets we got were freakishly accurate, no?”

His head pricked up at the question. “Too accurate.”

“I mean, I suppose if somebody wanted to, they could’ve figured out a lot of those details or hired somebody like Leo to dig around, but why would they?”

Logan’s eyes brightened as he immediately picked up her line of thought. “Cole never cared much about us and he still doesn’t, so I doubt it’s him. You actually helped Luke get out of a jam, even if it wasn’t in the way he wanted. I can’t see why he’d suddenly want to torment you several years later.”

“Dick is a dick,” she added, “but I know he’d never do anything to harm you, and by extension, me, so I feel like we can rule him out.”

“What’s the connection with Casey? You guys seemed awfully chummy for a bit during junior year,” he said, coyly.

“Oh, you noticed?”

“I always noticed.” He shot her a meaningful look.

She found a loose thread on Logan's shirt and toyed with the end of it. “I think he might’ve had a little thing for me in high school after I did that job at the Mooncalf Collective.”

Logan exhaled roughly in mock exasperation. “Casey, Norris, Leo, Duncan...I’m starting to feel a bit like one of your choir boys.”

“No.” She planted a kiss on his warm brow. “You’re leading man material.”

“Is that so?” That seemed to placate Logan, who dropped right back into sleuthing mode. “So, what do we think of Norris?”

“He’s a cop,” she said, as if this were reason enough to exonerate him.

Apparently, Logan didn’t think so by the way he balked. “So was Vinnie Van Lowe. And Don Lamb.”

“So was my dad,” she retorted.

“So was Leo...who sold me sex tapes of my dad and a minor.” His expression was incredulous.

“Okay.” Veronica held her palms up, acquiescing. She was now more convinced than ever that her dad might be the only honest man left in town. “Being a cop in Neptune, or...well, anywhere, I guess, doesn’t mean you can’t be dirty, but I don’t think Norris is a bad guy. He stood up for me when I was being bullied.” Logan looked away, cowed by the reminder of his past, but she turned his chin back toward her. “He’s just a sweet guy with some niche Japanese interests.”

“Throwing stars and katanas,” he reminded her.

“Did Leo look like he was murdered with a katana? Did Madison?”

“Okay. Fine. I trust your instincts,” Logan said, and a shadow crossed his features as he avoided her gaze. “But that leaves just one person, then.”

Veronica nodded, realizing where this was going and feeling just as skittish about it as he looked. “I know we’ve both kind of been avoiding speaking to him, but he hasn’t even said why he’s back. Or how. Surely, he didn’t risk jail time just to play Mr. Boddy at a shitty high school reunion party.”

Logan nervously shifted under her. “You didn’t ask him why he was here?”

“You’ve been with me the whole time. I know my communication skills aren’t great, but I feel like that’s something I would’ve mentioned to you.”

Logan looked as though he wanted to ask something but paused, the unspoken question hanging precariously in the air like a bubble moments away from rupture.

“Say it.” Her voice was calm and measured, but her insides were rolling with fear.

“Do you think Duncan could be a murderer?”

“Do you?” she shot back, unsure why she felt so defensive and angry about the idea.

Duncan was in her rearview mirror, and she was happy about it. The complicated feelings she had about him veered from affection to anger, but through it all, she couldn’t help but feel loyalty. It somehow felt like she was betraying Lilly for even thinking this might be true.

And what did this say about her abilities as a PI? Aaron, Beaver, Woody, Mercer—all malevolent people capable of unspeakable crimes, and she didn’t pick up on any of them until it was too late.

Logan shrugged, helplessly. “Before the two of you broke up the first time, I would’ve said there was no way...but the way he attacked Jake that one night after you split, how angry he was about not being with you? He was never the same after Lilly’s murder. He was like a brother to me, but I don’t know.” He shook his head, distraught at the suggestion. “I don’t know, Veronica.”

“Well,” she took a deep breath and pressed her lips against Logan’s for fortitude. “I think it’s time we found out, don’t you?”

***

When you were here before, couldn’t look you in the eye. You’re just like an angel, your skin makes me cry...

The faint strains of “Creep”, by Radiohead, eerily carried down the hallway, no doubt the ironic song choice one of Dick’s brilliant ideas.

Logan’s arm was wrapped around Veronica’s waist, carefully supporting half her weight as she limped toward the main room. She caught a glimpse of Wallace out of the corner of her eye, speaking with Jen by the wrought iron-framed picture window at the back. His hip was cocked as he leaned in and said something that made her chuckle, the friendly scene a stark contrast against the frigid and desolate landscape looming behind them.

Veronica wondered how easy it would be to hide amidst the snowbanks. With everything so white, any shock of color would likely stand out, even through the overwhelming snow. As big as this mansion was, from a distance, it was also just a shock of color—a garish slash of humanity bisecting the wilderness—incongruous and wrong.

Something was incongruous and wrong inside the mansion, too, but Veronica was too close to it all to get a good view.

Her eyes canvassed the room, skipping over the people who had tormented her in high school as she searched for Duncan. Even without the murder, this party would have been a nightmare.

Duncan was sitting by himself on a loveseat, gazing serenely at the view while nursing a hot drink.

What the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong here…

Veronica’s arm tightened around Logan’s back, and she angled her chin to speak with him privately. “He’s there, on the loveseat.”

Logan’s eyes narrowed in Duncan’s direction as he pulled her into a hug and lowered his lips to the shell of her ear. “How are we doing this?”

She didn’t answer right away, knowing he wasn’t going to like her suggestion, but her silence spoke volumes.

“No way.” His chest rose and fell, and his arms tensed around her. “It’s not that I don’t think you can handle this, but you’re injured.”

“I’m just going to talk to him, no sneaky spy business.” She knew the promise sounded as hollow as it was.

“What if he’s a killer, Veronica? What then?”

She pulled back and looked him in the eyes, whispering, “You know he’s more likely to talk if it’s just me asking questions, and you’re right here. If something crazy happens, you’ll just spring into action hero mode like you always do and save the day.”

“I don’t like it,” he said, weakly, with a frown, but she could tell he knew her well enough to understand that arguing against this was futile.

“I know you don’t.” She brushed an index finger across his downturned lips. “I promise I won’t do anything intentionally stupid. And hey, this is Duncan. Do we really think he’s some kind of villainous mastermind? He couldn’t even remember all his lines for the middle-school play.”

His eyes softened as he brushed a stray hair away from her face, letting his fingers linger on her jawline. “You know, it’s really inconvenient for me to love and hate exactly the same things about you.”

“I know.” She turned and kissed the side of his hand before gingerly taking a few steps back. “But, you love them just a little bit more.”

Before she could lose her nerve, she turned and limped over to where Duncan was seated. “Buy a girl a drink?”

“Veronica!” Duncan lit up at her presence, and he scooted over to make room for her. “I heard you’d injured your ankle. I hope it doesn’t hurt much.”

“You know, they say it’s exactly the same walking on sand and snow, but they would be wrong. There are no stray branches hiding on the beach.” She lowered herself slowly onto the seat, sighing as the weight eased off her ankle. “What are you doing over here alone?”

He sighed and peered into his half empty mug of hot chocolate. “This is a really weird weekend. It’s definitely not what I was expecting when I got on the plane to come home.”

Amazed she didn’t even have to work around to it, Veronica took the bait. “What were you expecting when you got on the plane?”

His expression was pensive for a moment, before he shook his head. “I don’t know. I mean, I’m aware a lot of time has passed, but I wanted to see you.”

“Oh?” She wasn’t sure she liked where this was headed.

“You risked everything to help me, and then I just—” His hands tightened around the mug. “I just left. I barely got to say a proper goodbye, didn’t even get to thank you.”

Veronica knew it was ridiculous to get sucked in by this act when so many signs pointed toward him possibly being a killer, but his stupid blue eyes looked so earnest and sad, and it was hard not to believe him. She’d always had too much of a soft spot for him.

“I knew.” She leaned over and squeezed Duncan’s hand. “I’m just happy we were able to get little Lilly away from Meg’s horrible parents.”

“Yeah.” He nodded and squeezed her hand back. “She’s doing really well.”

“I’m so glad. Speaking of,” she inched closer to him, “how did you manage to get past immigration with that arrest warrant they put out?”

“Oh.” He appeared genuinely befuddled for a moment, but then smiled brightly. “Mom took care of that.”

“I thought your mom was against you raising Lilly?”

He shrugged his shoulders, looking so much like the uncomplicated teen she once knew. “You know how she is when it comes to me.”

Veronica remembered how Celeste had covered up a murder she thought Duncan was responsible for, how she had sent Veronica’s dad to retrieve him in Cuba when he ran away, and how virulently she had tried to protect Duncan’s inheritance from Veronica’s potential paternity claim.

Was there anything Celeste wouldn’t do for her favorite child?

“I know.” Veronica smiled tightly.

They sat in companionable silence for a minute, still holding hands, watching the soft snow flutter outside the window.

But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo...

“Veronica...” Duncan turned toward her, a besotted look in his eyes that she knew very well. “Do you—do you love him? Logan?”

She looked down at their joined hands and quickly released Duncan’s, a sinking feeling taking hold of her stomach, then slowly raised her gaze to meet his. “Did you come back home for me?”

“What would you say if I said yes?” he asked, eyes hopeful.

She shook her head, both shocked and not. “I would say that at one time, I loved you very much, but I’m not that girl anymore.”

“Yes, you are,” he spat out, body slightly recoiling with the movement. “How can you be a different person? It hasn’t been much longer than two years. Who changes that much in such a short time?”

She steeled her nerves and turned to face him fully. “I haven’t changed. I don’t think I was ever the girl you thought I was. I’m not even sure you would have liked the real me back then.”

“So, you were—what?” he shot back, face beginning to flare with heat. “Just faking it with me?”

“No.” She grabbed his hand again, which instantly calmed him down. “I didn’t even know myself back then, Duncan. Lilly did, though, she always understood me.”

“Does he know the real you?” Duncan looked at a point over her shoulder, and she turned to find Logan watching the two of them with a stoic expression.

“Yes,” she said, as Logan’s eyes connected with hers. “He’s a little bit broken, just like me.”

Duncan seemed offended by the suggestion. “You’re not broken, Ronnie.”

“Broken isn’t bad, Duncan. Have you ever heard of the Japanese art of kintsugi?” Off his head shake, she continued, “They take broken pieces of expensive, intricate pottery and put them back together again, filling the cracks with gold and silver, making the new pieces stronger, even more interesting and beautiful than they were before.”

“And that’s you? Broken pottery?” he asked, in a mocking tone.

She shook her head. “Repurposed. Better. Stronger. You liked the perfect porcelain.”

“No.” His hand tightened around hers almost painfully, as he leaned closer and whispered hoarsely, “I’m broken, too. Just like you. I came back for you, the real you.”

Veronica was sick with guilt. She hadn’t asked for any of this, but she couldn’t help but feel bad, anyway. The last time he had seen her, she was still in love with him, and that image of her was clearly frozen in amber in his mind. “Duncan, I’m so sorry, but I lov—”

A loud, metallic crash against the other side of the wall was punctuated by a man’s haunting groan.

[dewitty1]

Heart Of Silver/Heart Of Gold

lettersbyelise @lettersbyelise

Chapters: 25/25 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Minerva McGonagall, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Pansy Parkinson, Blaise Zabini, Gregory Goyle, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Andromeda Black Tonks, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, Dean Thomas, Seamus Finnigan, Jeff the Niffler, Other Characters Additional Tags: Demon Draco Malfoy, Human Harry Potter, POV Draco Malfoy, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Unresolved Sexual Tension, First Time, Angst, Enthusiastic Consent, Bathroom Sex, Mutual Masturbation, First Time Blow Jobs, Non-Penetrative Sex, Intercrural Sex, (kinda), Christmas Miracles, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Advent Calendar, Complete

Summary:

Draco Malfoy, a young demon specialising in school bullying, has lived hundreds of uneventful lives. Until his world is turned upside down by his newest assignment a few days before Christmas: to get rid of 8th year classmate Harry Potter, Defeater of Dark Lords and thorn in the side of all things evil. Trouble is, Draco’s world has been upside down for a while… ever since he started having very human feelings for a certain bespectacled Gryffindor.

Excerpt:

Harry’s cheeks were pink, the blinking fairy lights randomly highlighting his hair with pink, blue, yellow and green. His grin had turned slightly embarrassed, as it always did when he was the centre of attention for too long. Draco used to think it was false modesty. Right now, he wasn’t so sure. Now that he was starting to see Harry for who he really was... it felt like a Bludger to the face, every time, realising how utterly, how deeply good Harry was.

Draco wondered how a demon like him didn’t burst into flames just by being in Harry’s vicinity.

The first players made room for new ones, Granger, Weasley, Finnigan and Blaise this time. Draco felt someone sit next to him on a free cushion, a friendly shoulder brushing his.

“Fun game,” Harry said, very close to Draco’s ear. “You should play.”

“Not sure I’d be good at Muggle games,” Draco admitted. Harry’s face tightened. Draco, realising his mistake, backpedaled quickly. “I mean... not because they’re Muggle, obviously. I have nothing against... that.” Harry watched him silently, as if taunting him to say it, so he did. “I have nothing against it anymore. You know that... Don’t you?”

“I think I do,” Harry murmured, eyes pulled back to the loud players again. “Still think you should play, you know? You’re so... serious. So grave, all the time. You should loosen up a little.”

“I am serious because I want to be serious, Potter,” Draco muttered. He didn’t know why he was telling him this. With the surrounding noise, he was certain only Harry would hear him. “I’ve been a little shit for far too long. I’m making amends now. At least, i’m trying to.”

Harry nodded, still watching the game. “I believe you.” He canted his head to glance at Draco. There was a crooked little smile on his lips that Draco did not care for. “And if you don’t know how to relax, perhaps I should give you a hand.”

Draco froze, unable to look away from Harry, his little smile, the impish glint in his beautiful green eyes.

“I—” he said. He was humiliatingly interrupted by his own throat, contracting to swallow a gulp of air. Harry laughed.

“Hold that thought,” he said. He stood to his feet, fairy lights dangling from around his neck. He ran to his dormitory room.

Harry came back as a fourth round of Hungry Hungry Hippos was finishing, Longbottom as the winner this time. He shyly yet proudly punched the air in victory. Pansy clapped and whistled loudly.

“Oi, Harry, what ye got in there?” Finnigan greeted Harry. Harry opened his fist to show everyone its contents: a small, flat packet and a transparent plastic pouch containing what looked like dried, crushed Gillyweed. He grinned mischievously.

The Muggleborns and half-bloods in the group burst into laughter. Thomas clapped Harry on the back while Granger crossed her arms with a disapproving huff. “What? What is it?” Weasley kept asking, still sitting on the floor, pulling at the hem of her robe. “It’s Harry pretending to be cool but really being a stupid, predictable teenager,” Granger scoffed. Her admonition had the opposite of the desired effect on her boyfriend. Weasley stood to have a better look at the pouch.

“McGonagall let you in with this?” Thomas enthused. “There really is such thing as a ‘Boy Who Lived’ privilege!”

“Shove it, Thomas, or you won’t have any,” Harry laughed. “What McGonagall doesn’t know can’t get me in trouble.” He looked around. His eyes fell on Draco who was still seating where Harry had left him, too bewildered by the scene to move. “Wanna try?”

Someone moved the board games aside. Slowly, the students arranged themselves in a loose, lounging circle on the floor. Hannah Abbott brought something that looked like a large silver box riddled with buttons, opened a round compartment on top and placed a small silver disk in it before closing it with a click. Strange music started playing—definitely Muggle—and Draco tried to pay attention when he noticed Harry nodding approvingly at Abbott. The song was upbeat yet melancholy, hopeful yet happy. The singer was asking her lover to kiss her repeatedly beneath the twilight. Pretty lyrics, Draco thought. As he looked over to Harry, he thought they were quite fitting.

The lights dimmed. Harry, still wrapped in fairy lights, shone as enticingly as a Christmas present. Wouldn’t he look just perfect, surrounded by multi coloured lights, naked in Draco’s bed—

Oh, sweet Lucifer. That was new.

Draco had never allowed his mind to go there before.

And now that it had been, he couldn’t think of anything else.

Harry naked. In his bed.

He watched Harry bend over and lick a stripe along rolled-up cigarette paper, and his mouth watered.

Around the circle, a few students looked utterly at ease, as though what they were about to do was normal and not completely foreign. A few others, like Granger, appeared to be battling to keep the disapproval from their faces. The majority, though, just followed the proceedings curiously. Harry lit the tip of the cigarette with a muttered ‘Incendio’ and took the first puff, closing his eyes briefly before passing it to Thomas on his right.

He leaned on his left to murmur to Draco, “You don’t have to try it if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t even know what it is, Potter,” Draco whispered back.

Harry suppressed a giggle. “It’s a marijuana cigarette.”

Draco had never heard the term before, but he wasn’t stupid. He could read the context. As a demon, he had a knack for sensing illegal shenanigans when he saw them. He felt a little frisson of excitement mixed with circumspection at the thought.

“Drugs?” he asked, trying to sound casual.

“Kind of.”

“What’s kind of a drug? It either is, or it isn’t.”

“You’re right,” Harry rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed. Around the circle, their classmates were passing the joint around with lazy smiles. “I just meant it’s light and recreational. It helps with... relaxing, or sleeping. Among other things.”

Harry’s face was thoughtful. No innuendo of any kind here. Draco reflected on all the reasons why Harry would need help relaxing or sleeping. So he said, “I want to try.”

Harry glanced at him. “Yeah?”

“Yes.” Draco clasped his hands in his lap, looking at them instead of at Harry.

“You never tried it before?”

“No,” admitted Draco.

“Oh. Of course. Yeah.”

“Why would you say ‘of course’?”

“No reason!” Harry lifted his hands. “It’s just that—you’re so... upper-class and all. I assumed—” He glanced at Draco and saw something in his expression that made him stop in his tracks. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. It’s okay if you’ve never done it before, or if you don’t want to do it now.”

Draco wanted to be offended—Harry seemed to think what he’d just said was insulting although Draco couldn’t fathom why—but he chose to move away from that particular attitude. After all, in the past, it had done him no good when it came to Harry.

“Will you show me?” He asked.

In the dim shine of the fairy lights, Harry’s face lit up.

“Of course.” He took the cigarette when it came back his way. He looked Draco in the eyes. Draco stood very still, his hands trembling, his whole body buzzing with the nearness of Harry. “I’m going to make it easier for you,” Harry explained. “I’m going to take a pull, and I’m going to exhale in your mouth.”

Draco felt his eyes go wide as saucers. “Beg your pardon?”

Harry looked as though he wanted to laugh, but not at Draco’s expense. “It’s... softer that way. You will still get a high, only slower. Nicer. For your first time,” he added, and Draco blushed.

Around them, a hush had fallen, as though their classmates had noticed the joint hanging from between Harry’s thumb and forefinger, his body fully angled towards Draco’s, Draco still as a bird caught in the line of vision of a snake.

Someone hooted, “Show the posh boy how to live, Harry!” and several people giggled. Harry paid them no mind. He just smiled at Draco.

He brought the cigarette to his lips.

He took a pull, his cheeks hollowing, his eyelids drooping slightly. His green eyes shone in the fairy lights, their gaze trained on Draco, insistent, unwavering.

Draco saw him lift his hand as if in slow motion, Harry’s strong, blunt fingers making contact with his jaw, the calloused tips sliding along his cheek, into his hair, fisting lightly, bringing his face closer. Harry’s eyes crinkled at the corners, and Draco angled his head, opened his mouth, and let Harry blow a cloud of grass-scented smoke into his mouth, the hint of his soft lips and his hot breath a thousand times more heady than the drug.

Around them, Draco was aware of people cheering and wolf-whistling.

With a smile just this side of smug, his eyes never leaving Draco’s, Harry pulled away, his fingers caressing Draco’s cheek as he retreated.

Draco swallowed.

With it came the smoke, and he burst into a coughing fit.

Everybody laughed. Draco was still coughing, but he didn’t care. Less than a foot away, Harry sat prettier than the Christmas tree, his gaze soft and facetious. He smiled at Draco before taking another puff of the cigarette for himself.

What a sweet irony, Draco thought, smiling at him, mind and body loose.

He was the demon, and Harry was the tempter.

[randomguywithwords]

Thanks For The Assist Chapter 1 (Itsuka X Neito)

26/5/20 Update: Posted on AO3 with the proper edits (I hope I got them all). https://archiveofourown.org/works/24384310/chapters/58814230 . Enjoy!

––––––

The stage meant something to Neito Monoma. It was a platform for performance, for showmanship, for bedazzling and leaving your audience awestruck. But it was also a place to wear a mask, or several. The character on the stage is not the same as the actor leaving it, no matter how dedicated they are to the role. 

And as a famous playwright said, “All the world’s a stage, and the men and women merely players.” 

As he walked to the test ground, he surveyed the crowd. A large ensemble cast present, all doing their own thing. Some were concentrating in silence, some looked as though they were about to breakdown (stage fright, he smirked), and others were engaged in excited conversation.

He wondered how many of those faces were masks. Perhaps the nervous-looking ones were simply trying to let their competitors’ guards down so they could upstage them in the midst of the exam. The ones chatting – he saw their masks just fine. It could not have been more plainer. All of them were thinking the same thing, Will I beat you?

Exams were like that. A cutthroat competition, and he played along. He wouldn’t be able to do anything first but watch the rest use their quirks. 

His lips widened into a grin as he overheard a conversation behind him. Some side character talking about his quirk. “I can launch any object I pick up at high velocity! This test’s gonna be easy dude!” 

Spinning around with invigorated interest, he gave a light slap on the guy’s back and smiled. “Dude, that’s an awesome quirk! You just gotta throw it?”

The student looked startled at first, but quickly put on his cordial mask. “Yeah!” 

“Wow, I’d wish you good luck, but I don’t think you’d need it!” Monoma stroked that student’s ego, eliciting a prideful look from him. Neito could practically see the plot device’s chest inflate twice as large. 

Then, as he bent down to pick up a couple of stones, he heard the buzzing of the horn. Then it was a race, as the crowd of students poured through the gates like the bulls at Pamplona, leaving Monoma behind with the slower lot.

He’d have to work out if he got in. 

Dashing into an alleyway, away from the rabble, he grinned as he encountered a 3-pointer. Feeling his stolen quirk activating, his fingertips ignited with a warm feeling as the stone in his hands grew warmer with kinetic energy. With a yell, he threw his pebble straight at the robot point-blank.

And watched in a mix of horror and embarrassment as the pebble sailed just past its head, disappearing into the sky. 

He had to throw another one to take it down in a shower of sparks. 

“My accuracy needs work too, apparently.” He sighed as he moved on. He had around 4 minutes left on that quirk, and with luck, he could net a decent amount of points before he had to take someone else’s. 

The next few minutes he spent chucking random objects at whatever robots he could find, whether they were stones or pieces of metal from the robot corpses. 

As he sniped one from 20 metres away in a stroke of luck, the person who had been attacking that robot turned back to glare at him with venom. He shrugged it off. Part of the game, pal. 

He heard that person shout, “Don’t steal my points, asshole!” but he was already moving on to the next. 

Not very hero-like, buddy, he quipped, but didn’t say it. Then he growled in annoyance as he realised his time was running out. 10 seconds, tops.

With a last throw, the quirk ran out of time. Damn, I need another person –

And a Deus Ex Machina appeared in the form of a figure slamming a robot on the ground beside him – a figure with abnormally large hands and long orange hair tied into a ponytail. Ah, thanks. 

“Sorry about this.” Neito felt awkward touching a girl, but in the heat of battle, he hoped she wouldn’t mind. He tapped her left hand (it wasn’t hard), and dashed off before she could reply. 

Enlarging both his hands, he raked aside an oncoming 1-pointer and slammed another into the ground like a pancake. 

Damn, this is weird to control. It’s not that much heavier, but swinging it gives too much momentum. 

Could he shrink his hands down? He didn’t dare try it, for fear he couldn’t enlarge them again. 

“Watch out!” He turned to see a 2-pointer barrelling towards him get punched into a building by that girl, spraying dust eveywhere.

“Thanks,” Monoma said, Point-stealer. I would’ve gotten it anyway. Gritting his teeth, he charged into another onslaught of robots. He wouldn’t lose to that side character. He was going to pass this test. 

He spent the remaining time wielding his hands as weaponry before switching to another quirk, some fireball quirk. And then one that threw porcupine quills. 

By the end of the exam marked by the horn, he collapsed onto the ground in exhaustion. His arms were sore, his hands were even worse, having to adapt (which was partially unsuccessful, he might add) to the quirks he’d taken. His hands were singed slightly from wielding fire, bruised from punching robots and bleeding slightly from where the quills were shot out. Not to mention the first quirk he had taken that made his arms ache. 

Gratefully, he took the candy that some of the robot helpers were offering – they claimed it would help with their injuries. He watched some of the other students eat it first before munching down on his. Could be some sedative or poison. 

He sighed, chuckling to himself at his overdramatisation, but it faded as he spotted a glare from the corner of his eye. 

It was that person that he took the two points from. Pretending he hadn’t noticed, he closed his eyes and leaned against the wall to rest. 

After waiting for a minute or two, the loudspeaker blasted Present Mic’s voice, telling them that they could leave the exam venue. 

Getting to his feet, Monoma shuffled out alongside the many other tired ones, stifling a yawn. He prayed he did enough. He had lost count of his points midway through. 

He was nearing the train station, trailing through a parkway when he saw a couple of familiar faces in a reflection off a dustbin. Shit, it’s those guys.

They were following him. His eyes flickered to the sides. No one, huh? That’s convenient for them. I just gotta make it to the station. 

But those behind him knew it too. The footsteps sprang into a sprint as a hand latched onto him and dragged him to a stop. 

“What?” Neito scowled as he faced Fireball and Guy-Who-He-Took-Points-From, and a couple more. 

“We were talking, apparently you took our quirks and stole some of out points. We wanna settle the score.” 

“How barbaric.” Neito said with a bored tone, incensing them into expressions of rage. I touched that guy, what’s his quirk? I don’t recognise him. 

He noticed that a few of them were wearing the same uniform. Presumably they were Fireball’s goons. Classic. 

“Get him.” Fireball’s orders sent the two goons to grab Neito’s arms. 

Fuck, should I just use whatever quirk he has? 

“Hey!” A feminine voice rang out, drawing the attention of all of them to it behind them. Monoma’s eyes widened in realisation as he placed her as that girl with big hands. “Get off him!” 

“Get out of here, girl. This doesn’t concern you.” GWHTPF (Monoma abbreviated it) gave a dismissive wave. 

“I already took a picture of you lot. I’ll send it to U.A if you guys don’t leave him alone now.” She held her phone up to signify her threat. 

The colour drained from their faces as they quickly backed off. “Alright, alright,” Fireball said, chuckling with laced worry. “Just delete that picture, and we’ll call it even.” 

The girl did a couple of taps and showed a blank photo library to them. “Done, now get out.” 

They might not keep up their end of the deal, Monoma thought. Jerks like them never do. 

But to his bewilderment, they actually stalked off with constricted fury in the opposite direction (all this walking just to beat me up? Neito scoffed internally), leaving just the girl and him, who helped him up. 

“Thanks,” Monoma said truthfully. “I assume you have a score to settle with me as well?”

The girl frowned. “No? Why would I?”

“Those guys were pissed I stole points and their quirks during the exam.” 

“I see, so that’s your quirk? You take other people’s quirks?” She pocketed her phone. Before he could respond, she followed up, “Are you heading to the station too?”

“Yeah.” The two continued down the path. “To both questions, but I don’t take them. I just borrow them for a short while.”

“I see.” She pouted. “I thought I met someone with a similar quirk to mine. I’m slightly disappointed.”

Neito chuckled. “Sorry to disappoint. My name’s Neito Monoma, by the way.”

“Itsuka Kendo.” She gave a smile, and Neito was confused to see that it wasn’t a mask. Was she always this friendly to strangers? 

“So you took some of their points?” Itsuka’s question sounded more like an interrogation. 

“Well, y’know, it’s part of the exam.” He shrugged. “I’m desperate.”

“Fair enough, I suppose,” She said. Neito studied her expression. She looked like she had something to say, but didn’t. 

“Your quirk was the hardest to get used to, though. I have no clue how you do it,” Neito said, changing the subject. 

Itsuka rubbed her head bashfully. “Yeah, it took me a while to learn how to use it well. Hope you enjoyed the trial run.”

“Does that mean there’s a subscription?” Neito joked. 

“Well, if we both pass the exam and become classmates, it could be,” Itsuka replied with a cheeky smile, just as they reached the station. 

“Fingers crossed. Good luck then. I hope you pass.” Neito said. “I’m, uh, going this way.” He jerked a finger behind him. 

“Ah, ok then, I’m going on the opposite line. Good luck to you too, Monoma!” Itsuka gave a last wave as her train arrived. Then she boarded it, leaving Monoma on his side of the platform, and with the realisation that he meant what he had said. 

Fingers crossed. 

––––––

Ĭ am way too tired to edit this, so I apologise for any grammar or spelling errors. It’s 2am and I’m gonna go sleep. But I wrote this to get rid of my writer’s block, and honestly I really like this and it might become a full story. I’ll do some more planning and see how this turns out. 

Really like this ship, originally I was hoping for some Monoma X Kodai (but I just really like Kodai’s character). Maybe ItsuYui? Dunno. I’ve never tried writing an FxF full story. I’m nervous writing from a female perspective, since, you know, I’m a guy. So, idk. 

Hope you guys liked this piece. I’d appreciate it if you had any feedback.

[ddaengyoonmin]

Chapter 3

Pairing: Jungkook x reader, Taehyung x reader, eventual Ot7 x reader in later chapters

Genre: fluff (not really in this chapter), angst, uhh maybe smut eventually??

Theme: Based kinda on sword art online a lot of similar ideas and themes kinda combining the idea of them trapped in the game, but the world is closer to ALFheim online

Word count : 1.9k

Warnings: Swearing?..I swear a lot it can’t be contained. Mentions of death, Panic attacks,

a/n : I realize in this chapter I’m taking a lot from the plot of SAO, I feel like I have to explain it more than I’d like to, most people probably already know what happens in SAO ( I did try to make some changes) but for the sake of people that may not know, and the characters and their personal feelings and reactions to what happens I’m gonna go into detail about it all.  I swear I’m gonna deviate a bit in later chapters and make it my own.  I just gotta set the scene for all of this and it’s taking longer than I wanted lmao, its my first fic okay, of course I got in over my head lmaooo

next -> Chapter 4

 ------------------------------------

“I’ll show you the way” he said with a grin.  But something seemed off about that grin, there was worry hidden behind it.  You didn't like this at all..

Kookie had taken your hand and led you to the town square that the emergency notice had instructed everyone meet at. It was a quiet walk that took about 30 long, worrisome minutes.  Neither of you exchanging many words besides an “It’ll be okay” from Kookie a few times when he’d glance at your nervous face.

When you arrived there were thousands of others filing in.  The golden colored stone courtyard in the middle of the town was more than big enough to space everyone, yet you found your anxiety growing bigger and bigger as more people flooded through the walkways leading into the town.

     You had been fine when it was just you and Kookie, you’d started to think maybe you really did like being around people.  This crowd was not to your liking though, it only heightened all the panic you were already starting to feel.

Maybe it was that fear, or maybe it was the fear that you had no idea why you couldn't log out of this game, but something pushed you to grab Kookie’s arm and hold it tight.

He didn’t seem to mind, he didn’t look at you though. His eyes scanning the crowd of other worried faces, turning his head to try and listen in to others’ conversations”

“I tried to contact support but there's no button for it!” A large fairy with wolf ears and gray wings complained

“I’m sure my mom will just turn the thing off soon and i’ll snap out of it! Dammit! they told me not to be on past 8”  a small red winged fairy whined.

“This is so stupid, you’d think with all the money I spent on this they’d have fixed this all by now” someone Kookie couldn’t quite see sounded out from behind you both.

Kookie sighed and puts a hand over one of your hands that gripped his arm.  Finally looking at you he tried to assure another “It’ll be okay” and that one was the most insincere sounding one yet.

His own fear starting to break the calm and relaxed composure he was trying to maintain for your sake. You wished you could maintain your own calm and relaxed facade. You’ve had to be brave before for many things and you’d always handled it pretty well.  

But this, felt different.  The whole aura here was off in a way that made you feel slightly sick to your stomach and if it weren’t for the fact that this is where you’d met your new friend Kookie, the first friend you’ve had in years...you feel that you would wish you’d never even opened the box for this damn game.

A loud noise resembling a gong interrupted your train of thought.  Causing gasps and many jumps and various noises from the crowd of thousands.

A bolt of lightning slowly shot through the now somewhat darkened ,red sky and the crowd shifted its attention to that direction.

A dark smoke started to creep from all over and assemble into a figure in the spot where everyone was focused.  The figure had to be about 100 feet tall, hovering in the sky above the square.  It was only a silhouette, but you could distinctly make out that it had the head of a wolf and the body of a human, with a long flowing cloak that sat on its shoulders, extending far past its feet.

Your grip on Kookie’s arm tightened even more at the appearance of this mysterious floating wolf in the sky.

“Good evening” Its voice boomed out “I am Fenrir, head game maker.  And ruler in this world,” it paused only briefly, “I suppose you are all wondering why the log out button seems to have disappeared from your menu screen.  I can assure you it is not a glitch, it is completely intentional”

A series of shocked noises rumbled over the crowd as they all took in the information that was just stated.  You looked over at Kookie with wide eyes.  He was focused intensely on the floating figure, brow furrowed and anger clear on his face.

“To explain further, this is how I designed the game.  None of you can log out and if anyone from the real world attempts to remove or disconnect your headsets the high density microwave transceivers that have made this world feel like a reality” another erie pause, “Will fry your brain stem and end your reality here and in real life.  You will die.”

The crowd erupts into even louder discussions and irritated banter with one another.  You hear someone not to far from where you and Kookie stand yell out “Yeah fucking right man, I call bullshit freaky floating wolf man”

As if he heard that cry, or maybe it was the cries of many similar outbursts that had followed that he had heard, he spoke again, “If you don’t believe me, I’d like to inform you that though I put out a warning on public broadcast, some player’s families also doubted my message and tried to remove their loved one’s headsets.  I’d like to inform you all that this new game I’ve created contained 12,000 players when I removed your option to leave, now it only contains 11,856.  144 players have been eliminated from the game...and from real life”

As he spoke that last sentence he waved a hand and the horrific proof appeared all over the sky.  On at least 10 different screens floating in the sky were news broadcasts from all over the world.  Stating exactly what he had said. Images and videos of families sobbing, and of people being interviewed in front of the office of the game creators of the full dive technology. Headlines reading:

“144 Dead in tragic gaming incident, 11,856 players still trapped in the game”

“Families grieve the loss of loved ones in horrific gaming incident, head game maker and CEO of new full dive technology missing”

“Faerie Realm traps 12,000 players in a deadly game”

You tore your eyes away, tears formed and your body started to shake.  Your hands slipped from Kookie’s arm and traveled to your face holding your cheeks in horror.  

Kookie was frozen staring at the screens, perhaps searching to see if he knew anyone who had died?

The screens disappeared and the dark figure spoke loudly again.  You tried to focus your attention back on him but the ringing that had started in your ears made it difficult.  You missed the majority of what he said, but managed to collect yourself only slightly enough to make out the last part.

“To put it more simply, you will now feel pain.  And if you die here in the game, you die in real life, good luck to you all” Then the smokey figure evaporated.

You fell to your knees, hands on the stone floor of the courtyard, unable to contain your panic anymore.   Tears fell in intense streams down your face as your body shook in a way it never had before.  While struggling to catch your breath, two arms wrapped around you and pulled you up, Kookie held you tightly and close to his chest.  “Shh..sh”  he whispered while stroking your hair.  In any other situation this intimate moment would feel totally inappropriate considering you'd only just met this man today.  But you welcomed his touch as it really did seem to calm you down from the sheer panic you felt.

He took you by the shoulders and brought you where you could see his face.  He was trying to mask it, and he definitely had been doing a decent job at it, but he was just as terrified as you were.

“We need to find my roommate” he said in a soft voice suddenly, “my...friend...my best friend...he should be here too...we came in together but decided to do our own thing...he's gotta be...no one would’ve been in our house to take off his headset so...he's gotta be...here…” His cracking voice let on to the panic he was feeling.

Your heart broke for him, you could tell his thoughts were racing faster than he could sanely handle, as he wondered if his friend could be among the already dead.

“Of course” you nod “go find him”

“I don’t think it’s best for me leave you alone, lets stick together okay?” he said, not really giving you an option as he grabbed your hand and franticly started dragging you through the crowd, looking over every face he passed by.

He came to a dead stop and yelled in pure overwhelming relief “TAEHYUNG!”

A seemingly tall, attractive man about your age with mint green hair, and shimmering emerald wings sticking out from his back was sat on a bench about 10 feet away, eyes glazed over and un-moving with his hands in his lap.

Kookie rushed over to the man and kneeled down to his level, “Hey man, holy shit, I was so worried,” The green haired man, Taehyung, you assumed, snapped out of his trance with a small shake of his head and stared at Kookie.  “Jungkook...what...what the fuck is happening?” his face forming into an expression of terror.  

Kookie, well...actually Jungkook as you’d just learned, embraced Taehyung in a quick hug and pulled him up off the bench.

“We gotta make some kind of a game plan dude, the game maker said the only way out of here alive was to beat the game, so shits probably about to get pretty crazy.  When you complete a quest, boss challenge, or defeat a animal that’s on the list of required tasks to clear each level it disappears for good, and once all of them on each floor are taken out you can move on to the next level.  100 levels may take a long time to beat.  Our best chance is to move quick.  It’s going to be tough with people going around trying to snag all the best and easy loot and experience points once they realize that getting as strong as possible, as quick as possible, is the best strategy to stay alive” he rambled,

Taehyung nodded at Jungkook’s words but Jungkook could tell he didn’t fully understand what was being implied.

“I think we need to leave. Now. The longer we just stay camped out here wondering what’s going on like everyone else is right now, the less of a chance we have to be the ones to get the best chance of survival”  

It clicks for Taehyung, his voice wavers

“Kook...Wouldn’t that...be kind of a dick move? Snagging up all of the best stuff before anyone else can get to it? If that’s the best way to survive shouldn’t we let everyone know?”

Jungkook shook his head sternly, “No. I only care about us making it out of here at this point.” he nodded his head towards you and then to Taehyung.

Did he really just say he didn’t care if anyone else died?

You studied Jungkook for a second, his mannerisms were changed from the charming, friendly, smiling man who showed you around the forest earlier today, he was stiffer and more rigid in his stance.  You couldn’t even see panic on his face anymore, instead there was a strong look of determination.  

You weren’t sure if you liked this Jungkook you were seeing now, but you couldn’t fully blame him for the drastic switch, people can change when they are thrown into survival mode, and this...was now life and death.

[prorevenge]

I literally made my nemesis/bully repeat his Sr. year over. - LONG, but worth it!

I grew up in a solid working class town without a lot of wealth in it. The very few wealthy people worked in a bigger city 25 or so miles down the road, and mostly sent there kids to private schools in that town. However, we certainly mingled and played with the kids during the summers, etc.. Football is king in my part of the country. Our high school programs play in front of thousands, it is table talk year around, and youth football starts as early as 6 years old. We played in backyards, schools, ALL the time.

I always had a football in my hand and was generally a highly regarded player in my neighborhood. However, there was one kid who dominated us. His name is Mike M. the IV. Yes, he was the the "Fourth" He was one of the rich kids and he was seriously 6" taller, faster, and stronger, than the 8th grade boys while he was still in 6th grade. He went to the private school, so outside of neighborhood football, I only competed against him in track & field in the spring. But we saw him all the time and he was a piece of shit bully to all the kids. The "4th" was always talking down to the rest of us "poor pieces of shit", throwing our stuff into the creek near the field we played in. Anytime we had success against him he claim some piece of cheating, beat one of us up, or piss and moan and walk away. During the regional and state championships in middle school track, he beat me both years in the 100 and 200 meter runs. We finished 1st and 2nd at every meet.

Once we moved to high school, football ramped up big time. Now we were prepping to play HS ball for our school and our town. We all assumed Mike was going to continue to play at the private school he had attended. Much to our dismay, there was Mike in full pads on our first day of football practice our freshman year. It was then that I found out why Mike was so much bigger/better for his grade level. Mike was pretty old for being a freshman. He had an October birthday while mine November. Not much older you say, except the cutoff for starting kindergarten was Sept. 30. We had both missed that cutoff when we were little, except my parents enrolled me anyway. My birthday was Nov. of '84 while Mike's was Oct. of '83.....so I thought. We also found out Mike had failed 3rd grade at his private school and had to repeat. His birthday was actually in '82. He was 25 months older than me and we are competing at the same grade level. No wonder he was so much bigger. That slightly worked against him because the catholic athletic league had rules about age limits in their high school sports, so Mikey had to go play with us poor kids at the public school in high school

Freshman year, Mike makes the varsity as a backup QB and I am relegated to Junior Varsity. His ego really stepped up then. He was a freshman playing varsity in a town where football is king. In addition, he got his Drivers License and a new Camaro. Also, he was the only rich kid at our school. I envied, yet hated him so much. He was always reminding us of our place in the social world and constanly making quips about having to walk, ride bikes, go to Goodwill, etc..

The next summer Mike spent at various football and speed camps. Us poor kids just played ball. Sophmore year comes and Mike is the starting QB, but I am his best wide receiver. Mike truly was a great passer, but his athletic superiority over the rest of us is diminishing as we start to mature. We both get All State honors, finished the season 13-2 while losing in the state semi-finals. Mike is starting to get noticed as a potential college QB. His head gets bigger. Junior year comes and Mike tries to become a team leader, but his arrogance and constant belittling wears everyone down. I am now a solid 6' 3" and looking Mike eye to eye, and faster. We both get All- State honors again, but we finish 7-4 with an early exit in the playoffs. Mike is furious about the horrible players he is surrounded by. I am also starting to get some recruiting letters.

Spring of that school year, our long time football coach becomes ill and chooses to retire. The school district brings in a new coach with an entirely different offense. No more drop back passing, but rather a primitive form of what we see today in American college football. A mobile QB with lots of options. Prior to the summer, the team met with our new coach and he laid this out to us with some suggestion on how we can utilize the summer to prepare for our Senior season. Mike was super pissed about this all because it didn't suit his style of play. His family tried to sue the catholic athletic league from his former private school about their policies so he could play there, but that didn't work out. His family then tried to move to another city to play in their school, but they had missed a deadline. He was stuck. He spent the summer traveling to various football camps around the region to raise his collegiate status. These camps are essentially a college tryout in front of college coaches. I spent the summer with a plan to finally fucking beat Mike and become the QB. I had talked this over with our coach and he told me the best QB will play in the fall. I worked in the same field of our youth the entire summer with various other players practicing the playbook we had been given. Mike was trying to improve his footwork, while the rest of us were learning the playbook.

Summer ends and we begin fall practice. This was the first time I had seen Mike all summer, and he shit a brick when the coach told us to separate into groups and I walked into the QB group. I was now the bigger, stronger, and faster one. I had been practicing all summer, and I was had done so with our teammates. Given his status as a 2 time all-stater at QB, he was granted the starting role, but it was obvious who was better on the field. I easily played the role of wide receiver, but maintained the backup QB role. I was not happy about it, but it changed after we lost our first game. Mike didn't comprehend the playbook so well, was horrible at his option reads, and generally sucked. Our second game started with Mike getting crushed by a sack and fumbling that lead to a touchdown for the other team. He was not injured at all, but the head coach insisted he sit out a series to recover. I took over as QB and NEVER gave it up. I was pretty iffy passing those first few games, but the game started to become easier for me. We rolled off 14 straight wins until losing in the state finals. I was All State at QB, and Mike was a benchwarmer. All of his recruiting dried up.

I accepted full scholarship to the university down the road and got to play in front of crowds of 100,000. I had moved back to wide receiver and had a pretty solid career there. I was no where near NFL talent, but got to travel to bowl games and was generally the hometown hero as the poor boy who went to the big school and played on ESPN. Many of my friends from college played on Sundays (read NFL) and pretty sure one of those will be wearing a yellow jacket as an inductee to the Hall of Fame. I think most of these things would have happened had I not wanted to beat Mike at QB, but Mike's life would surely be different.

While not playing dried up his major Division I offers, he still had plenty of interest from smaller colleges. This did not sit well with him. He decided to replay his Sr. year at a private school several states away. His family sent him to a private boarding school in Pennsylvania which had no age limitation rules, where I understand he was absolutely miserable. Here, he was the poor kid, and almost 20 years old at that.....in high school. From there, he went on to play Junior College football, and ended up walking on to the directional school in that same state. He never played there, and returned to our hometown to take over his daddies car dealership.

I stayed in the same town as my university as a financial planner for a mentor I had met in college. His grandson had competed against me throughout our younger years, he had followed my entire athletic journey, and he was very proud of the local boy. He was a big name in the community and had taken me under his wing when I first stepped onto campus. John stepped away from the business a few years back and left me with his entire life's work on the condition I have a position for his grandkids/great grandkids should they choose that line of work and have a college degree.

I am not entirely sure what happened to Mike? He sold the dealership, but his house had gone into foreclosure. He was married with kids, but they moved. I hope he was humbled enough to no longer be a piece of shit, but perhaps I'll never know. You'll always be a piece of shit to me.

(source) (story by ProbstCO)

[1358456]

Review Response, July 28 - Aug 3, 2019

Not a lot happened, but hey. Another week.

Destiny #015

1) Hold the fuck up. Wait wait, just for a minute. There was a lot of shit that just happened and I'm precessing it. But lemme get this one thing straight. Sapphire is NOT dead. Obviously Peter would want her alive for Kyogre, but before that little but of info. I was CONVINCED that she was dead. I mean, I was just sitting there in shock and like telling myself "Yep, this is the point where I cry." but I didn't. And she's not dead. So I am assuming that the actual deaths in this fic are going to very... well I dunno how to say it. But it's going to be sad. But still on the topic of Sapphire, I am so happy she managed to (somewhat) get over her fear of salamence! This is a huge step for her! And it's really symbolic in the way that she was the one who defended Ruby from that claw, and just hmm so happy for her. Well, my happiness is taken with a bucket of salt as to how badly injured she is, but i'm happy nonetheless.

Oh! And something I forgot to mention in my last review was about the gym leaders, if the dexholders are going to win against Peter. They'll need the help of the gym leaders. And isn't it just funny that right as I was going to say that Sabrina saved them. Oooof if she hadn't saved them, then Blue would have been completely right. There would be mope than just a couple (if not many) deaths at that battle. They fought bravely, but dam are they underprepared.

Speaking of Blue, I found it sweet, but irritating for sure, that Blue was worried over Silver and (to some extent) Red. These were the things I was thinking before. What did they do to you? And here she was betraying them. And although she should have thought of the other dexholders and told them to flee, at least she told those two. I understand her reasoning-I need not to repeat it as Blue has said it multiple times, not to mention the whole controlling watchamacallit-but grrr. These were younguns that had no part in this battle and you didn't even wish them good luck. Well, she sort of did at the end. With the whole wishing for Sabrina to rescue them. Which I actually found interesting that she recognized as Sabrina's doing. It's no brainer, but stilll... interesting.

And the highly anticipated moment for me has arrived. The confrontation between Blue and Green! It was marred by the fact that I had to stop halfway through for something, but the moment was great for me nonetheless. And I thought you put up a great point during this! With Green saying why Blue was going to such lengths for revenge, I thought was a great way of explaining things to the reader. That may or not have been your intention I'm not sure, but I still thought that was nice. Because sometimes authors find lazy ways to justify a character's actions-or lack thereof-and it leaves the reader confused. Or if not confused, it sort of ruins the story for them as they realize that if it were not for that single action, half the drama in the story would not have occurred. But it was nice to see her response to it, and have her realize sort of what she was doing, and that she didn't really mean for it, but that she was just hurt. Perhaps there was no need tho as it was obvious that she was just hurt from the start. Well, I just wasted an entire paragraph on that, but I'll keep it here anyways as it's something that happens quite often in stories. And that pisses me off.

Oof, now tbh. i have nothing more to say on your writing. I've already touched on it a lot on my past reviews, and i feel I have not much more to say about it. I mean it's so hard to find good writing about pokemon, on , and you're one of the few I know. Anyways, thank you again.

Yep. Sapphire is NOT dead! Dex Holder blood has been shed, but no one died yet! And yes, Sapphire stands up to Salamence, which is a development that ORAS lacked (among many, many things), and also unlike ORAS, the claw actually hit her instead of pretending like it did for about a minute.

It’s the kind of underlying theme in Destiny. A casual player can never be prepared against someone who utilizes the full game mechanics. And every single Dex Holder is a casual. And so... they are not prepared. And yes, Gym Leaders can help, but... not by THAT much in terms of direct force.

Blue being hostile to the juniors is... well, another misunderstanding that could be cleared if she just got to talk to Red or Green. She was isolated from them for so long, and then finds out that Mega Evolution existed during the whole Mega Hunter event, and also finds out that there were far more junior Dex Holders after the Hoenn cast, and that said juniors were fighting alongside the others. It’s not much of a leap that the first thing she’ll think is “I have a lot more juniors and no one ever told me”. Ouch, huh?

Poor Blue, huh? She’s just so... hurt, with no one to really rely on. And... well, I do try to explain in-story why everything is happening. If I forget, I try to have it explained in the next chapter or something. ... And I better keep doing that, then!

Hehe. Thank you!

2) Lmao I'm so sorry, I don't edit reviews and going back and looking at all the typing mistakes is yikes.

Haha. I noticed. But it’s fine. As long as a sentence isn’t so riddled with typos that it just leaves me scratching my head, it’s fine.

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Destiny #016

1) Well. Shit. I always suspected that fighting Peter upfront would do them no good. It's obvious. I've said it before there's no way. But that brings me to the huge thing that's happening in Kalos. I have no fucking idea what this one's gonna be. Nada. Pretty much anything about Peter you write so well the the reader cannot guess jack shit about his past, and what he's going to do. Much less his MOTIVE. Basically get the legendaries blah blah we've seen it a million times before, but for WHAT. This time's it's different. It's not some stupid ass reason that the writers put in as a shitty reason, this time it's obviously more sinister and he might actually accomplish it before the dexholders can stop him. That's what I imagine, that he actually does whatever he's going to do, and it's all chaos for a bit. But then the dexholders pull their shit together and manage to ruin that. Now this is one of my less convincing theories, because as I said. I have no idea what's gonna happen. But the way this is going, thats how I feel it will be.

Also like, I am so excited for the part where Blue and Green make up. I'm sure it'll happen. That's inevitable. I'm just not sure how, and I'm a sucker for oldrival so that'll be a treat,,,, (tho I know they're not a pairing in this fic, just let a girl dream)

One last thing before I end this, I just keep thinking that, I'm not even halfway through and so much has already happened. What the fuck is gonna happen next. Obviously a lot and it worriesssss meeeee. These are the things that keep me up at night, that's a lot of time for injuries and death and whatnot. (Obviously I'm exaggerating my sleep is unharmed by this fic lmao). But that's also a lot of time for plot and explanations. Oh boi am I excited for the explanations. Like actually, I wanna know why.

Anyways, thank you as always.

I try to write stuff like this partly as if this was an RTS game. SA did this, Destiny did it, and Legacy does and will do it. The story is mostly focused on the Dex Holders, with occasional tidbits from the bad guys. So the story is told from the Dex Holder perspective, so if they don’t know something, the readers won’t either. Mostly. It’s like the fog of war in RTS. You don’t know what the opponent is doing, and vice-versa. ... Or so you’d hope, anyways. You don’t know what’s going on in Kalos? That’s because the Dex Holders don’t. As the Dex Holders uncover “the plot”, so do the readers!

I* won’t burst your bubble, so don’t worry. I will make it grow bigger instead. They DO get to reconcile** soon***.

Indeed it’s a LOT of time for injuries and/or death and/or fates worse than death. And I try to avoid having a death occur “too soon” unless it’s absolutely necessary for the rest of the plot. So... there is still time~!

I look forward to seeing more reviews from you! You’re starting to get into the “good stuff”! ... I think.

[less-than-hash]

Standards Transmission

I’m going to talk a little about bugs. Specifically about how we classify bugs, and the bugs we developers ship our games with.

I’m also going to talk a bit about how I think we, as developers, can mislead players and reviewers about the state of our game prior to launch.

I’m also going to try to convince you not to pre-order games.

Thoughts below the cut.

Games - especially the big, expensive ones - have grown significantly in complexity over the last two decades. If they’re not online, they’re open world. Sometimes they’re both. Fortunately, the proliferation of the internet combined with the tools provided by digital distribution platforms have made fixing issues post-launch significantly easier than back in the pre-PS3 days. 

Developers should be able to relax, knowing that not every little issue that ships with a game is part of that game forevermore. 

Relax a little, anyway.

Meanwhile, during my time in test it seemed that the console certification standards for games also relaxed significantly between the last generation and this. I suspect this, too, a reaction to the reality that games are easier to patch post-launch.

But if the developers relax their standards and console makers relax their standards, what incentive do the developers have to maintain any standards at all?

We've seen a number of utterly broken launches in recent years. SimCity's infamous release was over five years ago now. Fallout 76's was a few months ago. These games were rightly raked over their coals for their usability issues. But they're also outliers.

I'm more concerned about games like Skyrim, which largely gets a pass on its bugginess as the natural outcome of its scope and complexity, or, to bring it home, Deadfire, which shipped with no small number of bugs. Both games received largely positive critical response.

And here's the thing: when we send games out to reviewers, it's often with a statement along the lines of "this is not the shipping game; There Will be Bugs; we are working to address them."

But that's basically a lie.

By the time we send out a review copy, the build's essentially locked down. We're not changing anything unless the behavior being addressed is so reprehensible as to justify the risk of potentially destabilizing the game right before launch. You hit a lot of crashes or an incomplete critical path quest bug, there's a reasonable chance we'll be trying to address that.

Anything short of that? No chance in hell.

And there’s a lot of bugs short of completely game-breaking that can make playing a game an unpleasant or wildly unfair experience. 

When testers submit bugs, they (or a lead, or a producer - this varies wildly between studios) assign said bug a Severity. Studios also have very different standards from one another in how they assign said Severity, but it’ll generally look something like this:

A1 - Crash The game experiences a critical failure and the program ends. May take your computer or console with it. 

This can also include things like infinite loading screens, though those can also occur without the game technically crashing.

A2 - Absolute Critical Path Progression Break An issue prevents play from continuing along the primary critical path of the game. This can be an issue with content (level design or art, a system, or a quest or narrative failure) or programming, and may manifest as things like:

Not being able to connect to a necessary server

Not being able to enter play

Not being able to turn in or complete a quest

Not being able to transition into a new scene

Not being able to load a save file

Falling out of the world

Regardless of exactly what happens, the player is going to have to restart the game or reload a previous save in order to progress through the game’s primary experience.

A3 - Progression Break As above, but the player can work around it and continue play, or it impacts a sidequest or some otherwise non-critical content.

B1 - Major Breakage Some system doesn’t function in some significant way. It’s going to be highly visible and will impact most players. Perhaps health packs don’t actually heal, for example. Perhaps the UI falls apart if interacted with in a particular order. Perhaps subtitles don’t function in languages with non-Latin alphabets.

Perhaps the color green displays as yellow. Always.

At many studios, this’ll be classified as an A bug. I personally consider bugs like this unacceptable for ship.

B2 - Breakage Something specific isn’t functioning like it’s supposed to. It could be something wide-ranging like a system (arrows inflicting fire damage instead of physical for example) or art asset (empty barrels don’t have textures on the inside, and thus appear “invisible” from within). Or it could be something specific, like a winch that’s supposed to lower a dumbwaiter simply not working or a piece of art being upside down.

At this level, a bugged aspect of the game is clearly not functioning correctly to any player who understands how it should function, AND that failure of function negatively impacts play, BUT the game experience isn’t entirely destroyed.

C - Issue Nothing’s perfect. We tend to forgive a lot of little problems in the things we experience - when we notice them at all. C bugs might include minor narrative or art inconsistencies, minor framerate drops during a specific encounter, or a strange animation when switching between one weapon type and another. 

There can be a few other types of bugs that I’m not going to get into here, such as suggestions, subjective bugs, and the like. 

Along with Severity, Bugs tend to be measured along a few other axes called Priority, Reproducibility, and Likelihood. The first represents the import given an issue in comparison to other issues of the same type, the second the probability the issue will occur if the player performs the action that causes it, and the third the chance that any given player will perform the action that causes the issue. Generally, Priority is assigned based on the combination of the bug’s Severity, Reproducibility, and Likelihood. (Which is why a crash might not get fixed - it’s so rare an occurrence that it’s difficult to reproduce and investigate.) 

Here’s the thing: the closer that we get to shipping a game, the higher a bug needs to be up that Severity chart to land on a developer’s plate, much less actually get addressed. There comes a point in every project I’ve ever worked on, for example, where remaining C bugs cease to be something we intend to address (for ship). There’s simply not time to make everything entirely perfect, no matter how much we’d like to.

Here’s the other thing: Since any given change to the game has the potential to cause new issues, we developers have to weigh the importance of fixing an issue against the possibility of introducing a new one. Attempting to fix a B bug can result in a far more severe issue.

For example, if a conversation that includes a player dialog option seems to ignore that option, it may be because the alternative didn’t actually get made. Simply cutting that node could break the conversation and, by extension, the quest. Sometimes it’s possible that the entire conversation can be cut without breaking anything, and sometimes that happens. Other times we decide that it’s best to just leave the bug in there. A player experiencing the issue is better than possible alternatives.

A line I really loved in BioShock: Infinite that played between Booker and Liz on the boardwalk simply stopped firing shortly before release. It had been written, recorded by the voice actors, and implemented. It had functioned just fine up until it entirely stopped playing. Chances are, the fix would have been easy. But we didn’t know what the problem was, time was tight, and we determined that avoiding introducing new issues was far better than trying to rescue a line that players would never know they missed.

So the production realities of bugfixing combined with the timing of reviews means that once a developer has sent review copies out, or, for that matter, once they’ve launched an open beta, they’re very close to release. At that point, anything short of an A Severity bug will almost certainly not be addressed for launch. 

But that doesn’t stop us from telling reviewers (or Beta players) that “hey, we’re still polishing the game and fixing bugs.”

That misleading statement influences reviews. When I see bugs mentioned in reviews, which isn’t particularly often, it's generally with the caveat that "I was playing on an early build, and the developer has assured me that it will be fixing bugs towards launch."

Sure, many of these bugs will get resolved over the update cycle of a title. But they won't all be. And they definitely won't be at launch.

Because the current calculus is "how not-busted a product can we ship without it hurting our bottom line?"

I think that the industry could stand to have its bottom line hurt on occasion.

We need reviewers to call us out on our bugs. We need players to hold off on buying products - especially products from studios with a reputation for releasing buggy titles - until after they've hit market and been fairly evaluated. If a company is releasing software that's buggy as shit, don't financially support them.

I’ve almost started thinking of major bugs I encounter in games as insults. A publisher or producer determined that this bugged product was good enough for the likes of Alex.

And to be absolutely clear: this is not the fault of QA. QA, assuming they're not woefully understaffed (its own issue), will almost certainly have found, reproduced, and reported the defect you encountered. They're as frustrated that you experienced it as you are. Possibly more.

Nor does fault generally lie with the developer(s) who actually caused the bug. They would likely be all-too-happy (assuming they haven't been worked to the breaking point) to fix the thing that they broke. They got into this gig because they want to make fun, exciting experiences, and nothing's less fun than broken-ass shit.

The fault lies with the money people.

The managers and the publishers. The people who don’t care whether you deserve better because you've accepted everything they've served up so far. The same people who would rather have you spending money on loot crates than experiencing narrative content. Who would rather have you be someone else’s content (and them yours) than actually pay to make content for their players. 

And the same people who would rather fire hundreds of developers rather than take a cut in their own pay.

When you've decided that games have become unacceptably broken, they're the ones you have to convince.

You won’t do so by purchasing their games before anyone’s had a chance to play and evaluate them.

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