#this is the most unserious-serious thing i have ever made

[korshrimpski]

[dresshistorynerd]

The Morrisian case against fast fashion

Today I discovered that H&M made a William Morris collection some years ago. The heath death of the universe can't come quickly enough. We can stop now. Satire is dead and we killed her.

It's not just the whole concept of H&M using William Morris' designs for their fast fashion which is insanity inducing, but also the critical response it garnered. Like sure, people did realize this is insane and there was a lot of think pieces about it at the time, but I read several of them and they all seem to still miss the point in spectacular way.

The basic premise of these think pieces go along the lines of: "Would William Morris spin in his grave with a speed of light because of the H&M collection of his designs? A difficult question indeed. William Morris was a complicated man. He wanted art to be affordable to everyone. Isn't H&M affordable? That kinda fits. Though probably he would have some concerns about H&M's practices."

On the surface - yes - but like in reality - fuck no. There's no nuance in this particular issue. He talked about many times what he though of the H&Ms of his time, the retailers selling poor quality industrially produced "fashionable" bullshit. We know exactly what he would have thought of H&M. Here's couple of quotes from his 1884 lecture "Art and Socialism", which makes it very clear.

"It would be an instructive day's work for any one of us who is strong enough to walk through two or three of the principal streets of London on a week-day, and take accurate note of everything in the shop windows which is embarrassing or superfluous to the daily life of a serious man. Nay, the most of these things no one, serious or unserious, wants at all; only a foolish habit makes even the lightest-minded of us suppose that he wants them, and to many people even of those who buy them they are obvious encumbrances to real work, thought and pleasure. But I beg you to think of the enormous mass of men who are occupied with this miserable trumpery, from the engineers who have had to make the machines for making them, down to the hapless clerks who sit day-long year after year in the horrible dens wherein the wholesale exchange of them is transacted, and the shopmen, who not daring to call their souls their own, retail them amidst numberless insults which they must not resent, to the idle public which doesn't want them but buys them to be bored by them and sick to death of them."

He is describing the birth of consumerism, which was taking form during his lifetime in the late Victorian Era, which fast fashion is the extreme logical conclusion of, and he fucking hated it. He specifically railed against endless consumerist products, which H&M is the perfect representation of. It was definitely not the art and beauty he believed everyone required and deserved. He makes the distinction often.

"Now if we are to have popular Art, or indeed Art of any kind, we must at once and for all be done with this luxury; it is the supplanter, the changeling of Art; so much so that by those who know of nothing better it has even been taken for Art, the divine solace of human labour, the romance of each day's hard practice of the difficult art of living."

"And here furthermore is at least a little sign whereby to distinguish between a rag of fashion and a work of Art: whereas the toys of fashion when the first gloss is worn off them do become obviously worthless even to the frivolous—a work of Art, be it ever so humble, is long lived; we never tire of it; as long as a scrap hangs together it is valuable and instructive to each new generation. All works of Art in short have the property of becoming venerable amidst decay: and reason good, for from the first there was a soul in them, the thought of man, which will be visible in them so long as the body exists in which they were implanted."

When he thought of popular Art he thought of the craftsmanship of the common people. The art people have made from useful everyday objects with skillful handicrafts. This is what he means by "divine solace of human labour". It's not reverence of Puritanical work ethic, on the contrary, it's the reverence of creation, of the earnest joy people feel when they get to express themselves through their creative pursuits. He certainly didn't believe in work for work's sake, work needed to be worthwhile and enjoyable. He summarized his own position on what labour should be thusly:

"It is right and necessary that all men should have work to do which shall be worth doing, and be of itself pleasant to do; and which should he done under such conditions as would make it neither over-wearisome nor over-anxious."

He urged his middle class audience to reject consumerism (the lecture was for a very much middle class atheist society):

"For I say again that in buying these things: 'Tis the lives of men you buy! Will you from mere folly and thoughtlessness make yourselves partakers of the guilt of those who compel their fellow men to labour uselessly?"

I think it's glaringly obvious H&M and fast fashion in general is what he would consider luxury. Rags of fashion that are just churned out and discarded without thought and produced by compelling people to labour uselessly. It's not popular art that's made by workers and craftsmen, who are able to express themselves through it. There's no agency for the abused workers in H&M's sweatshops, they are not expressing their joy of creation, they are simply labouring uselessly.

Morris didn't shame workers for buying affortable things even if they weren't Art with big A, because that's the problem he despised the whole economic system for, for taking away the popular Art from people, making it inaccessible, and selling back mass produced products with very little practical or aesthetic value. So I don't think he would have problem with people who can only afford fast fashion today. They are the victims of capitalism too, because Art has been taken away from them. But the idea that some of these think pieces had that perhaps the H&M's Morris collection can be good actually if you squint, that H&M has the capacity to bring the art and beauty Morris advocated for for the people, is level of stupidity that's hard to express in words.

Morris didn't believe anything made with exploited labour could be truly beautiful, truly art. In his 1879 lecture "The Art of the People" he put it like this:

"That thing which I understand by real art is the expression by man of his pleasure in labour."

The way I understand this, is that art is communication. Through it we communicate feelings, ideas and thoughts, that is it's purpose. So for that communication to work, for it to be imbued with message, the person making it needs to feel passion and love for it's creation. How can there be love and passion if the hands making the garment belong to a tired exploited worker who has no agency what so ever in their work and can only think about survival to the next day?

Beyond the fundamental exploitativeness of H&M and fast fashion, this collection would still get zero points on aesthetic values from Morris even with his own designs. Because the work itself was such an important part of art for Morris, good design was nothing without good craftsmanship. Good design in his mind was always relative and dependent on it's purpose.

"For everything made by man’s hands has a form, which must be either beautiful or ugly; beautiful if it is in accord with Nature, and helps her; ugly if it is discordant with Nature, and thwarts her; it cannot be indifferent." (The Lesser Arts, 1877)

Here when he says nature, he means the nature of the thing that is made - basically it's purpose and function - and the nature of the materials it's made from. Basically, the design must always be made to bring out the function of the art and the qualities of the material it's made from, not fight against them. This is because he believed handicrafts were uniquely suitable for expressing the love of creation, therefore superior labour, and to really bring out the qualities of the craftsmanship and enjoy the creative process, the design should be suitable for that craft. The other side, which was the joy of using and experiencing art, required the craft to be selected for the suitable purpose. Using poorly functioning furniture for example is not very enjoyable, nor is using clothing that's made from materials that are not suitable for the climactic conditions it's supposed to be used in.

H&M of course utterly fails in this. They use Morris' designs in fully unsuitable ways. They print patterns made for example for wall papers on poor quality fabrics with synthetics dyes they weren't made for. This line from one blog post I came across really got me: "Therefore, without cheapening the artistic value of Morris’ designs, H&M’s collection offers an unparalleled potential for accessibility to them." No. Fuck no. They do in fact cheapen Morris' designs in every single way possible. Literally this is atrocious.

Despite the popular depiction, Morris wasn't in fact against industrial machinery or industrial art even, or at least he wasn't once his views on art and politics matured. He did think technology was useful, but he thought the people should use industrial methods for the benefit of all, not be enslaved by the industrial machine.

"I have spoken of machinery being used freely for releasing people from the more mechanical and repulsive part of necessary labour; and I know that to some cultivated people, people of the artistic turn of mind, machinery is particularly distasteful, and they will be apt to say you will never get your surroundings pleasant so long as you are surrounded by machinery. I don't quite admit that; it is the allowing machines to be our masters and not our servants that so injures the beauty of life nowadays. In other words, it is the token of the terrible crime we have fallen into of using our control of the powers of Nature for the purpose of enslaving people, we care less meantime of how much happiness we rob their lives of." ("How we live and how we might live", 1887)

However, he thought that the designer should approach it the way they approached any craft, by designing for the strengths of the machine work.

"But if you have to design for machine-work, at least let your design show clearly what it is. Make it mechanical with a vengeance, at the same time as simple at possible. Don't try, for instance, to make a printed plate look like a hand-painted one: make it something which no one would try to do if he were painting by hand..." ("Art and the Beauty of the Earth", 1881)

He did use some machinery for fabric and wall paper printing, but he was very intentional about their use. Still his designs weren't made for the type of methods these modern H&M machinery uses and he did for example use natural dyes. Particularly insulting is that some of the H&M clothes are made from viscose, rayon made with viscose method. Viscose method is extremely toxic and is known to cause long term health consequences for the workers and the people in surrounding areas. This has been well proven knowledge for ages. William Morris' wall paper factory in the beginning used the typical method used at the time which involved arsenic, but once he learned this could pose risks for the workers, he changed the method. Many of the new synthetic dyes were toxic at the time, which is the major reason he so favoured natural dyes, known to not cause health issues for workers or pollute the environment.

The question many of these think pieces about the H&M Morris collection posed was, would Morris disapprove and should we care? The first part of that is very easy to answer. Yes. Of course Morris would disapprove. He is currently powering the whole of British Isles with purely the kinetic energy his grave-spinning produces. Should we care though? If you care about Morris' art, if you want to see more of that kind of art in this world, you should care. Morris' art is not about the superficial qualities. Copying his designs and aesthetics and styles, will only lead to hollow imitations, that are exactly what he described the rags of fashion to be; as the shininess of novelty wears off they will reveal themselves to be soulless, useless and utterly empty. This collection is just that. To see more of the kind of art that makes you feel like his art makes you feel, not just something that reminds you of that feeling, you should focus more on the way the art is made and less on the specific aesthetics. If his vision of labour and art was realised, all art produced of course wouldn't be loved by every person, but all of it would be loved by someone, even if that someone was just the maker. And that would be more worthwhile than every single rag of fast fashion.

I will stop William-Morris-posting now and return to my thesis.

The full texts I quoted here:

Art and Socialism The Art of the People The Lesser Arts How We Live and How We Might Live Art and the Beauty of the Earth

[machisneedle]

hii, I just saw that you have open requests ^^Can I ask for a lighter x reader who has the personality or is similar to Clorinde 🙏🙏🙏🙏 I beg you. I hope it goes well for you 🙏🙏🙏Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes because I lost my glasses.

Hellooo, ofc I can !! Also your spelling is perfectly fine <3

Lighter x s/o with a personality similar to clorindes ・₊✧₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎

✧ content: headcannon format , fluff , confessioning love , pre-relationship and current relationship.

Safe for minors to read !!

✧ I feel like his serious but also unserious mood would be a refresher for you , also helping you become more comfortable around him. For example , if you're dealing with something stressful , he'd be the type to try to keep you out of the house and even if it's just to hang out with Lucy or ceaser knowing your not alone makes him feel better.

✧ he'd definitely fall for you first. your strong and stoic front you put on is so intriguing to him because he's a serious person when he wants to be , but the fact he's NEVER seen you break that serious personality apart from a couple chuckles or when your trying to make Lucy feel better about something silly , it makes him want get closer to you. He also finds you badass as fuck but he'd never say it.

✧ when you finally realise you somehow like this man , you considered a complete and utter idiot. You're in complete denial , like how could I fall for HIM type thing.

✧ he is the one to confess 100% . He was confident , but he never thought you'd actually say yes to him. He was expecting you to stare at him like he was a creature from the hallow , so when you said yes he was actually taken aback by your word's , he totally hit you with a " yeah thats cool... cool " while he's internally screaming , before thinking about telling caesar and the others about it. He is a girl dad at heart ok.

✧ it might not be your cup of tea going out to his fights , but PLEASE do it at least once , this man will be yours for life if you do. Even if you sit there looking uninterested as normal because you finally gave into his begs, he'd be over the moon totally, not because you finally gave into going. He'd try to catch your attention by winking at you when you'd look his way , or if he was feeling extra like a little bitch he'd blow you a kiss being met by ur disappointed eye roll never got boring for him. When you find him afterwards dragging him home, he'd hit you with a " c'mon it wasn't that bad darlin " with that classic smirk on his face... let's just say he got a bonk on the head for that one.

✧ he sometimes found it hard to understand your emotions because of how closed off you could be. He would go to one of the girls about it and ask them what he should do , this man is a dumbass when it comes to love sometimes. He'd always be told to just go to you about it , so after a while , he gave in and went to you. It wasn't easy at first getting you to open up for him , but when you did , it made your relationship a lot better.

✧ at first, if anyone tried to hit on you, he'd be instantly at their throats, but there was one time he was grabbing something to drink while you sat and waited. He came back to a guy walking away uncomfortably looking like he was about to burst into tears , " What's up with him, huh ? " he chuckled , sliding you your drink. " he tried to hit on me, so I told him it straight. I wasn't interested. " You shrugged , " you don't say, " he replied. Ever since then , if someone hit on you he just let you give them that resting bitch face that made men run for the hills. Most men apart from him , personally found any face you pulled stunning .

✧ so , in summary you both have your Flaws mainly with communication , but you both try your best and that's all that matters <3

This is my first time writing lighter so sorry if he's abit out of character !! This request was really fun because I love clorinde

[krewekreep]

2.7K Words. tags: Committed Relationship AU, Date Night/Car Sex AU, (Ownership kink??? I don’t know wtf I’m talking about), Your man asks if he can get you tatted on him.

“Can I get your name tattooed?” You almost spit your drink out at the question. You turn to your boyfriend absolutely stunned. “A tattoo? O-Of what?” You couldn’t believe how casual he was as if he wasn’t essentially asking to be imprinted. He shrugged his shoulders saying, “I don’t know maybe your name? Maybe a symbol or honestly whatever you want to see on me.” You stared analytically at him. Was this his attempt at a prank or your sincere realization your man was crazy. “Are you serious? Where would you get it? What if people see it and ask about it? Oh my- boy youre wildin’ right now.” You had to laugh. This was the most outrageous he could’ve ever been but nothing really about his expression changed. If anything he seemed a bit disappointed at your reaction. You saw the slight fall of his eyes, oh no he’s deadass.

You sat back sincerely considering your man with your name on his body. What seemed the most appealing? His face? Absolutely not…his neck? Maybe but kinda ghetto. As if fixating on the perfect sketch you cleared several versions of it through your head: arms, back, legs, hands. You thought of the big words branded across men like Tupac or Cholos, and while absolutely hot…it didn’t suit him. You thought of how sexy tattoos were ones that peeked out—those conversations starters when you just can’t get the image of it without a full closer inspection. You thought of his ribs, his collar bone, his wrists…what seemed an awkward silence for him was a deep meditation that led you to consider it now with more excitement than consolation.

“Okay,” you returned to him with your considerations. “I thought about tattoos of all kinds all over you…it’s pretty hot.” He rolled his eyes at you. “No-no,” you went for his thigh grabbing it in reassurance. “I’m so serious right now.” It was hard in your very unserious, light hearted relationship to maintain a kind of sincerity that wouldn’t send the both of you laughing your heads off. You understood he really liked the idea of it and you didn’t mean to have shut him down. He heard you. Trying his best to not openly forgive you because his pout earned him a pleading and yearning partner. He liked when you made up to him. “Y/N,” his face fell. “It really hurt me.” A cold wind caught him and his face sunk so deep you thought he would wither away. “Baby, I’m serious. You would look so good but I had to think on what suited you.” His ears perked up a bit, raising a quizzical brow towards you but still sulking. You sat up in the car seat leaning over to grab his face and kiss him all over. Before whispering which spots had riled you up the most you kissed him deeply running a finger across his ear which sent a shiver through him.

“So I thought about the obvious: your face, your arms, your hands. I thought I liked something being on your ribs or your wrists. I still do BUT I decided top two goes to the collar bone or your fingers.” He had to scoff to himself. Of course you chose the most sensitive, possibly painful areas. You didn’t have tattoos yourself, not against them, but not up for the possible pain at all. He, on the other hand, was very tatted including a full sleeve. It was his thing so to speak so the idea of getting your name tatted seemed less and less crazy. “Hmmm, you like those places?” He watched your eyes linger on his neck and clavicle wishing to decorate him in hickies to show your earnestness. “Mmhmm.” You touched along his neck and collarbones earning a muffled groan. He twitched under your tickling fingers watching you dazed.

You unlocked your seat belt and leaned over grabbing him by the hair and pulling him into a sloppy, eager kiss. “You sure?” He always is the one to double, triple, quadruple check. “Yes baby,” you pull away to look him in the eyes. “I just immediately thought of those huge ass ones you see people get on social media.” You scoffed a bit thinking of images of blazing red skin with huge cursive names. You had no issue if it were family members or even friends, but lovers? Seemed a bit too close to branding and ownership, and you never knew of a lasting relationship with that going on.

Unbeknownst to you your bae’s absolute acceptance of being yours. He heard once of someone in the media proving his love to his new girl by tatting his dick…. He thought long and hard about it…honestly into it. And had you thrown that out there, even if a pure joke—He’d win by trolling you with your name inked large across his length. He’d fuck you into the mattress, dick hitting your cervix unknown to you until pillow talk time. How’d he’d thank both Y/Ns for the fabulous time tonight. How he knew you’d snap up and throw the blankets away quizzically investigating his cock. How he loved the idea of not telling you at all…seeing how long it took before you’d scream in astonishment lamenting his idiotic love struck ways. But he’ll settle for now.

He liked the idea of his fingers…closest thing he had comparable to his dick given their own girth and length. How two fingers were genuinely too much for you until you grew fully accustomed to his cock. How when he tried to enter a third once you winced looking back at him like the devil. “Don’t piss me off,” you spat closing your eyes with a lifted warning brow. “You know you be trying to do too much.” He was sympathetic but horny. And had the worst kind of fantasies pinning you in all sorts of positions, crumbling you up into a sex ball. You were so beautiful all the time. Now sitting in his car at the top of a parking garage, after an amazing night out where you both seemed to fall in love all over again. He really felt compelled to ask, damn near blurting the question out. “Would you get a tattoo of my name?” You didn’t have to think long this time. “Nope. Not your name.” His face fell, he couldn’t even hide it. You knew what you were doing leaning over to reach your hand in between his legs, cupping his balls and dick easily. “I’d get a symbol for you. Or like an animal. You know I like subtle things.” You rub his tip through his pants almost luring a whimper from him. He swallowed hard. “Tell me more.” “What? I don’t know there’s really so many things I associate with you or us…I weirdly want it to be perfect. I want it to mean I love you, I trust you, and thank you all at once. Not my fault I’m sentimental.” You tease yourself and him laughing softly. “I’m just…actually happy as fuck to know you’d consider it. You don’t have to, baby girl.” “Aht aht,” you tisk. “Already in motion, you know I was thinking about finally getting one too? So I’ll really think about it and I want your help okay??”

How could you look at him so innocently when your hands were making it hard to keep his eyes open. How could you so lovingly declare all this as he adjusts his waist to more firmly plant himself in your palm. How you squeeze him ever so slightly eliciting a full blown moan. You wanted him bad. The night out, the drinks, the conversation over ice cream, now sitting with your love as the night sky passed on. It was perfect. You leaned up in the seat on your knees, reaching over him to crank his seat back. It went down smoothly and he set both arms behind his head. Ready for you to handle him however you pleased.

You leapt over onto him sitting flush on his extremely hard, bulging length. You cooed at the sensation of pressure against your clit slowly grinding against him. He didn’t wanna control you this time but it was hard to not go to grab at you, to which you swatted his reaching hungry arms away. “Uh uh,” was all you had to say. You needed him inside you now. You lifted your hips, giving you space to undo and unzip his pants. You learned with him he doesn’t put on underwear all the time. And considering how his outfit squeezed him all over perfectly—You didn’t want your favorite guy all smothered and claustrophobic. He needed to breathe didn’t he?? His dick agreed hungrily leaping out his pants thwacking against his belly. You spit in your hand taking him in it with a sloppy dribble of saliva falling to his tip. He shivered throwing his head back. You pumped him swirling your thumb over his blazing leaking tip. He was nothing more than a mumbling, groaning, praising mess. “Fuck, you know what you doing, Y/N.” He can’t help himself. He knows you like to treat him like this, like your little bitch.

His chest was lifting and lowering so erratically. His abs tensing and sweat brimming all over his skin. He wanted to get inside you, fuck your hands. “Mmm, baby please.” He cooes. “Sit on me baby, I need to feel that.” You obeyed swiftly giving him a few more hard pumps making his head lift as his mouth was agape breathlessly. “I got you. You know I do.” You lifted up, your ass facing the windshield. You pulled your panties to the side with one hand, still keeping the other on his waiting cock. He watched you in awe, how fierce you were when you wanted him. How he loved how loud you were and couldn’t wait to hear his name ring his ears as your shameless calls for him filled the car.

You lifted his dick vertical to your pussy, squatting down meeting his hot wet tip to your soaking loving core. When he entered it felt like heaven. What little stress you had already gone, so it was nothing for you to bounce down on him roughly. Both of you yelping at the sensation of his cock hitting your cervix. “Hey, be gentle. Don’t hurt yourself.” He said cautiously. He didn’t care about himself but you? No, don’t hurt yourself or even discomfort yourself just to feel him.

He took extreme pride in treating you like a princess even declining trying degradation. You, a bit too persistant at a point causing him to snap: “You can like what you like but I’m not degrading you. That’s my last word about it. Find someone else if it’s that big of a deal.” He was frustrated and regretted the last sentence the minute he finished. How he couldn’t face you cause he knew tears had fallen. How you gasped at his rejection and meanness, storming out of his apartment. How the minute the door slammed he rushed to his phone calling you profusely. How he showed up to your place with tears of his own. How he kinda maybe went a little too crazy banging on your door like a madman demanding to talk to you. When then as you opened the door warning of a police call for disturbance he blew past you into your living room. How he kinda scream talked his way through admitting he was so in love with you, so literally stuck on you he couldn’t imagine himself talking down on you. It just wasn’t him.

How you just wanted him to calm down and that you understood. You really did. Reaching towards your bellowing boyfriend cooing him to cry it out in your bosom. How he ended up more upset than you just because he felt awful even snapping at you like that. How you rolled your eyes at yourself thinking while he might be domineering he was a big ole baby. How you told him you accepted his apology, leaning him away from you and hitting your knees to suck him off. How he broke through the tears saying he didn’t even deserve this but you shut him up with a swirl of your tongue.

How now he had no choice but to give you the entire fucking world. How you unlocked a kink of being dominated for him. Sitting back with his head resting up, watching you use him to your delight. How his cock twitched inside you and his hips lifted in mindless splendor. The car nothing but an enclosed cacophony of praise, I love you’s, and the sloppy slick of your fluids as they kept you two sticky and connected. The weight of your ass on his pelvis as his hands guided you up and down. How your head was thrown back like an animal, calling out to him how only his cock could make you feel this way. How he demanded you say more, more about him and his dick and how useful he was to you.

“Ah, Ah, Ah,” you couldn’t even think straight. Your mind overwhelmed with the orgasm you actually didn’t want to reach yet. Truly how sweet his cock met the ridges of your pillowy heat. You really didn’t want to stop but when you gazed at him he was as gone as you. His eyes closed tight, so tight you almost told him relax. His arms extended, flexing every active vein as he held your ass while you began growing even wetter around him. “Ain’t no way,” his hips stall slightly. “You’re so fucking wet, it doesn’t even feel like I’m in you. Ah, you so fucking good to me baby girl.” You knew by his fighting vocals he was about to cum. His previous warning to take it easy was nothing but noise as you began throwing your pussy down against him. You wanted to cum how you wanted to cum. “Baby, no, I—“ a pathetic accepting mess he was. They better not complain in the morning, he thought. And let you bounce on him mercilessly slapping against him loudly with a bit of a sting. You wanted to feel it in your throat and you did. That rare (less rare with him now your partner) special confusing but absolutely mind numbing pleasure. You seized around him, chocking his cock as you came hard. Your entire body shook now exhausted as you could only just sit on him letting him finish. You bounced as his dick drove in you sloppier and sloppier. “Oh fuck,” his own body now quaking, ropes of semen making your belly warm as your pussy hugged him wanting all he had.

His body went limp and so did yours. You fell on his chest with little concern, nuzzling into his neck peppering him with kisses. “I told you…I told you to not to go so hard…” he scolded wiping his dripping face with his arm. “Mmhmm,” was your only response soon falling asleep with him still inside you. You bundled up so innocently considering the mad woman you had just been. Pleased, full, and ready to cuddle him proper back home.

He kisses you on the forehead, still catching his breath although it is increasingly becoming balanced. You were already about to knock out. “Baby?” He cooed. “Let me put you in the back seat okay? Just rest until we get home, okay?” How now you were his baby princess again. Whatever you wanted, whatever you needed you got. How you mumbled nothing coherent barely able to lift yourself off of him. A bit awkward since you literally couldn’t move but once he laid you down, making sure your legs were comfortable, he kissed you passionately. You couldn’t really kiss back but you did pucker your lips with what little strength you had. He smirked to himself fixing his thankful dick back in his pants and getting in the drivers seat. Keys in the ignition, your couples playlist auxed on low, and a big dumb smile on your lover’s face. “How could I ever disrespect you goofy?” The most he’d ever insult you laughing as he pulls out the parking garage heading on home.

Who: GOJO, CHOSO, Zoro, Nanami, EREN, BAKUGO, Human INUYASHA, Ichigo + whoever else is this love dumb.

[villainousauthor]

Part one

The Villain's brow pinches together as they overlook the data they've managed to acquire so far. Nothing made sense, they've run every test they could think of to try and discover what it was that gave the Hero their regenerative abilities, to no avail.

They almost feel bad about the poking and prodding they've had to do, one blood draw after another, tissue sampling, and more. At the very least, Hero has stopped fighting them as much these past few weeks, making their work easier.

Villain turns back to where Hero sits on the exam table, their eyes adverted, seemingly focused on some spot in the corner of the room. They gently, but firmly, grab Hero by the chin and turn their head upwards.

"Open up." The Villain's voice is quiet as they grab a new swab. "I'm going to need some more of your buccal cells."

Hero doesn't resist their hold, but speaks up in the same unserious tone they always maintain. "Use normal people words, say cheek." They always seem to have some teasing thing to say to Villain, though it mostly lacks any bite. Villain assumes this is Hero's way of maintaining some sense of control in this environment, and it's not like they mind the chatter regardless.

"If you think buccal is a complex word, I'm afraid you really aren't much more than a pretty face," Villain's tone isn't serious either, as their fingers press into Hero's jaw slightly more. "Now open up."

Hero obeys without any sass now, parting their lips so Villain can swab the inside of their mouth. Villain doesn't miss the way they lean into their touch, Hero relaxing into their hold. It's a stark contrast to how things were the first few weeks here when Villain could hardly approach Hero without getting bitten or hit. Most of the early testing from those days had to be done with Hero restrained.

Now, Hero leans into them constantly, as if they're craving another person's touch. They maintain eye contact as Villain presses close, the whole situation feeling oddly intimate. Hero's skin feels almost addictingly warm, even through the Villain's cold gloves.

Pulling away and placing the swab tip into an opened tube, Villain turns away from them, hoping to show not too much emotion on their face.

They know how touch-starved and desperate for human contact Hero is, and by God they would love to indulge them, but they want to maintain at least some sort of professionalism here, despite how deeply unethical this entire thing is. Or perhaps because of how deeply unethical it is. One less sin counted against them. To tell themselves at the very least, they're not taking advantage of Hero's loneliness while in their captivity.

They look to Hero again though as they set the test tube down, and find their will slowly chipping away, as Hero watches them with those lovely eyes that make Villain want to keep them forever.

Villain sighs, taking their gloves off and approaching them again. "You make it so difficult." Villain's cold hand comes to caress their jaw, as Hero looks at them, slightly confused by their words.

"What do you mean?" They ask as Villain's thumb goes to trace their bottom lip lightly.

"I don't know how I'm supposed to let you go when this is all said and done," Their hand wraps around to their neck, sliding through Hero's hair. "Even when I've gotten what I first stole you away for, I don't think I'll ever be quite done with you."

Villain leans forward, their lips just barely hovering above Hero's. There is no mistaking the burning fire in Villain's eyes. They seem to consider their next action for a moment before pulling away hesitantly, letting go.

They clear their throat, putting back up that wall of untouchable professionalism. "That's all for now. I'll come to collect you later for another blood draw."

[carmesi-butterfly]

twitter

nishimura riki + fem! reader. word count 1,5k. not idols au/school au. warnings stalking (?) this one-shot is probably the most unserious thing i've ever written. not proofread.

"i checked your twitter account," said riki, trying to maintain a serious face and failing miserably, a few giggles came out of his mouth while he attempted to act normal.

"eh? that's not possible, my account is private" you looked at him with confusion, trying to decipher his weird laugh.

your twitter account has been a recurrent topic since both became friends, first of all because; who doesn't have twitter? it was the diary of the new generations, most of the teenagers had a profile in there! of course, you were one of them, but the way that you treated your account like confidential information made the japanese boy pretty suspicious.

it was a private account with no more than 15 followers, most of them probably were internet friends because it wasn't a novelty that you were not social by any means, on the contrary, you could be considered a loner, because of that, the apparent "state secret" hiding in your profile made ni-ki more than curious about what you could be secreting.

"i don't want you to get mad at me" pleaded, following that he proceeded to show you an interesting account that you knew well.

a profile named 'riri', with one of those famous headers with silly quotes you can find on pinterest and as an icon an orange cat with the emoji ☝�� referring to the recent meme that became viral, to finalize the bio was decorated with the phrase 'proud hater'. you got a request from that account just a few weeks ago, it followed most of the people you followed so it wasn't any suspicious to you, besides that's how you made a few of your friends! Following or being followed by oomfs of your oomfs, that's how social media works.

"that's you?" your voice raised annoyed and nervous, "you used that account to stalk me?!" with anger, you got up from your seat on the school rooftop.

"i wanted to know why you're hiding things from me!" his tone matched yours, being not loud enough to be heard by the other students who navigated through the school.

"if i hide things from you there's a reason!" your mood escalated from there, not only did your anger grow bigger but an immense urge to cry hit you.

“i-i know… I’m sorry y/n, i thought it would be something stupid, not that you like me”

riki brings your biggest secret into the conversation without any filter, dropping it like a not-warned bomb that fell into you and unloaded the last level of emotions you were hiding on a facade of pure rage.

now everything made sense, his giggly laugh without a reason while looking at you, the weird things he said that seemed like an inner joke you could not understand, the weird “i know your secret” he released randomly in your conversations... you thought it was all a joke! it's nishimura riki that we’re talking about. He enjoys pranking and tends to do and say weird stuff, it could be a completely normal behavior for him, but no, this time it wasn't.

“why did you think doing this was a good idea?” you claimed, hiding your face between the palms of your hands while a few tears slid down your face.

“sunoo once said that he knows you like me, so heeseung gave me the idea of stalking your accounts for any signal but your accounts are private… so he helped me by making a stalking account, i know it was wrong. i'm sorry, please don't cry” he begged after confessing everything, trying to get near you therefore he could calm you at least a little bit.

“sunoo and heeseung know?!” you blurted, your eyes opened as if you were trying to imitate an owl’s gaze, and your hands transitioned from covering your face to holding it, any similarity with ‘the scream’ by edvard munch is just a coincidence.

“the whole group knows” announced, opening the hell gates with a simple phrase.

“riki are you kidding me?! i don't care that you know even if you violated my privacy, because i would've told you sooner or later, but your friends?! how humiliating, i’m never coming to school again” and the catharsis started, a big flow of verbal vomit came out of your mouth going from ‘they're probably making fun of me right now’ to ‘i’m gonna delete all my social media and never use my phone again’ all of this accompanied by fat tears.

the poor boy felt hopeless, watching you practically going insane in front of him without knowing what to do to help you, or more reasonably: how to amend his mistake. luckily for him, his guardian angels appeared in the scene to help him, hiding behind the door of the rooftop heeseung (the one responsible for this mess) and jungwon (a heart warmed soul who wanted to help his friend) were hiding, their faces full of horror admiring the scene that was unloading in front of them. what happens next is worthy of a comedic movie. His friends started a physical and exaggerated demonstration of how he should calm you, hugging each other and emphasizing comfort acts such as back patting and forehead kissing. ni-ki would've burst out laughing if it wasn't for you crying like a baby.

“please don't cry, i’m sorry, you can beat me all you want if it makes you feel better” proposed completely seriously, while slowly without trying to upset you more he got closer, searching to imitate the “comforting” hug he saw his friends do, let's not lie… it was a bit awkward, but he tried and that's okay.

gradually you ended up relinquishing the embrace, starting by clinging to him delicately and finishing by squeezing his torso the strongest you could.

“beating you is not enough, i need you to die” your voice came out weird because of the amount of strength you were applying to the “hug”, but despite that, your head relied on his chest.

“you will suffer a lot without me!” a small laugh flew out of his mouth, refreshing the conversation. “are you still mad at me?” the nishimura looked down, searching for your face and any kind of reaction from it.

“yes” your response was cut and short, it could've worried your crush if it wasn't for the water dripping off your nose because of all the crying.

“u-uhm, i have something to tell you, maybe this will help you feel better” his heart started to beat faster and you could feel it through the hug, he cleared his throat in a way of trying to shake the nerves out, “the reason i did all of this stupid plan was that… i had hopes that you talked about me there, uhm…” a small pause to take a big breath after the confession interrupted the moment, but he quickly picked up the conversation, “my friends encouraged me to confess, specially sunoo, you know that he has a sixth sense with gossip” joked.

“you're telling me that… you did all of this because you like me?” you asked dumbfounded, the question got him more embarrassed than he already was, why did it make him sound so stupid?

he nodded, ignoring your attempt at visual contact while trying to hold back his smile. “then, do you feel better now?”

“no” denied, “but i know what can make me feel better” and after saying that, a naughty smile appeared on your face.

“what? i will buy you a lot of food from the cafeteria if that's what you want-”

his phrase got interrupted by you, who continued speaking, “do you remember… when i found that folder on your phone that had a ton of pictures of you trying to fake your muscles? how would you feel if i told your friends about it?” ni-ki’s smile disappeared instantly, now his face reflected nothing more than true terror.

in a matter of seconds, your bodies separated and you started running to the rooftop door. riki knew what you were trying to do, getting into the school, searching for his friends, and revealing his shameful secret! this can't be, but after being a bad friend things were not on his side, he tried following you the fast as he could but forgot a small detail, his friends hiding behind the gate. as soon as you got to the exit the spot where the two boys were hiding got exposed and both seemed nervous about that, but you couldn't care less.

“hi, guys! it's so nice to see you, i have something amazing to tell you!” your acting, so giggly and happy relaxed jungwon and heeseung who were scared of being scolded for spying. “did you know that riki-”

at that exact moment, the japanese covered his ears, not wanting to hear all the things you might be saying to his comrades who surely were going to make fun of him until the day he died. well, at least he can make fun of them because he got a girlfriend (even if you aren't his girlfriend yet) and they don't!

[drawingoddessy]

Hyper-analysis of Lightbulb season 2 episode 12

Part 2

And cue escapism.

She sees this and most likely got reminded of the game back home.

She literally recoils.

But then she shakes it off because in this reality she doesn’t have to worry about that. She’s willing to stay here forever. The lyric “I’m finally feeling free” insinuates that this is the first time she feels not trapped in her role.. Maybe doing this challenge 2 seasons in a row, with growing tension and emotions makes Lightbulb feel trapped within her persona of “the silly one”.

More escapism!

This entire song just talks about how Lightbulb is finally happy with the reality she made. It was her escape from the stressful life of competing. Here she no longer is the only one thats impulsive and unserious. Unlike how in the reality she's in where she is surround so many different personalities, where she clashes with her friends and fails to connect with others due to her "oddness"

But here she won't ever fail at a relationship, not if they are all like her.

After the song we cut to Lightbulb talking to the Inanimate Insanity Infinity. We see Lightbulb attempting to confide in them.

This is first time (to my knowledge) that we rlly see Lightbulb vent to others. She probably never wanted to vent to the others because she didn’t want to show her more sad side. Maybe she doesn’t think they can cheer her up? But these people are just like her, so maybe they’ll know how to?

Until they start spewing nonsense to her.. mirroring how Lightbulb usually attempts to help. This shows her directly how her methods are percieved by others.

Yk how I said they’re just like lightbulb? Well.. they do miss one thing.

Testtube can also symbolize Lightbulbs own logic and emotional side (and vice versa, the arc’s parallel).

Eliminating the logical, emotional ones can possibly symbolize exactly what Lightbulb does to her own negative emotions. She purges them only allowing the silly ones to stay and be present.

They get snapped to Elimination, the thing Lightbulb hates.

As much as she wishes to stay in this ideal world. She sees Testtube in danger and she goes to put a stop. This is when Lightbulb tries to gently and lightheartedly stop them because that’s what she’s used to. This can also be her actually trying to be serious but struggles to do so.

This is the best place to talk about what I mean when the contestants miss one thing..

They miss Lightbulbs negative human feelings. The ones Lightbulb doesn’t want to have. But remaining 2 dimensional and unemotional make the contestants off and inhuman. Did she really want to be like that? So positive all the time to the point shes inhuman? This is how she is seen by the other contestants, overly happy, unserious.

She then realizes.. sometimes goofiness needs a balance and gets serious (in her own way). She tries to be serious-

-But they keep laughing.

LOOK AT THAT FACE- anyways I feel like another problem Lightbulb has is the fear of not being taken seriously due to her abnormal nature. And this is apparent in this one frame. The face shows as if she was proven right. They won’t take her seriously.

Testtube begins to get angry at lightbulb for her nonsense just like Paintbrush.

She begins to feel a negative emotion and instantly redirects it to something funny, because she probably now thinks that Testtube won’t take her seriously like everyone in here. That and

Another instance of people thinking she’s just nonsensical idiot that stumbles into solutions.

Ok so a bit to unpack. So it’s shown that Testtube struggles socially but we see that she’s better at emotional connection (shown in future episodes more of and later in this episode) Meanwhile Lightbulb tends to be social but struggle with emotionality. Lightbulb tries hard to understand and comfort others when in need but tends to not be good at it.. She does try. And contrary to Testubes belief, she fails, a lot. Evident in her relationship with Paintbrush. People find her insufferable, and she knows it. Another reason to escape to this future.

Onto the solution! This entire solution is a projection of how lightbulb began to see herself with paintbrush.

Paintbrush was the one that tried the hardest and “took care” of competition for the team (like how they say salt does to anger pepper)

Lightbulb sat back and goofed off.

Paintbrush was the evident leader of the group even though Lightbulb was the designated leader.

And in lightbulbs point of view that’s what she thinks others viewed her as, a parasite that latches on.

Previous part ———Next Part

[squigglypatties]

Reader is three to four years older than satoru gojo, he always had a crush on her since childhood, he'd always say how he liked her but the reader would just pat his head considering him as a kid only to see him after few years all grown up..

pls dont be mad at me if its bad kjasdjdfjks ANYWAY here u go!! (I have 2 scenarios and ill post the other one later) w.c: 891 c.c: 5,074

You always had a soft spot for little Satoru. As children, Satoru would follow you around, his bright blue eyes sparkling with admiration. Despite the age gap, his bold declarations of love were a source of endless amusement.

"I love you," Satoru would exclaim, standing tall with a fierce determination.

You would laugh and ruffle his white hair. "Oh really? How about you impress me first?"

Satoru's admiration was unyielding. Every chance he got, he would try to impress you with his developing abilities, his mischievous grin ever-present. You found it endearing, often teasing him about his persistent declarations.

"One day, you'll see," Satoru would say, his eyes twinkling with conviction. "I'll grow up, and you'll fall in love with me."

You would chuckle and pat his head. "Sure thing, Satoru. I'll be waiting."

There are a lot moments where he would just admire you.

But life's currents took you away from Tokyo. You pursued your studies and career, diving headfirst into the challenges and opportunities that came their way. The bustling new city was a whirlwind of experiences, and slowly, the memories of the little boy who used to follow them around began to fade.

Meanwhile, Satoru trained rigorously, honing his skills and becoming one of the most powerful sorcerers of his generation. His natural talent and determination made him stand out, and he quickly rose through the ranks. Despite his growing strength and the responsibilities that came with it, he never forgot about you.

Years later, you returned to Tokyo, now an established professional. The city had changed, but it still felt like home. One day, while walking through Shibuya, they felt a familiar presence. Turning around, they saw a tall man with striking white hair and a blindfold over his eyes.

"Y/N?" the man called out, his voice deep and confident.

You turned and stared at him, trying to place the voice. "Do I know you?"

He chuckled, removing his blindfold to reveal those unforgettable blue eyes. "It's me, Satoru."

Your eyes widened in shock. The little boy they once knew had grown into a handsome and imposing man. "Satoru? You’ve changed so much!"

He smiled, a mix of amusement and affection in his gaze. "And you haven’t changed at all. Still as beautiful as ever."

After that, you and Satoru decided to catch up over coffee. Satoru playfully teased you about the old days, reminding you of how you used to pat his head and call him a kid.

"You were so sure of yourself back then," You said, laughing. "I never thought you’d grow up so fast. I almost didn't recognize you."

"And I’ve never stopped thinking about you," he replied, his tone serious. "I told you I’d prove it when I grew up." You felt a warmth spread through your chest. You had dismissed his childhood affections, but now, seeing him as a grown man, you realized your own feelings might have changed.

"Satoru, you were just a kid," You said softly. "I never took your words seriously."

He reached across the table, taking your hand in his. "But I was serious, Y/N. I’ve always been serious about you."

You chuckle, taking your hand back from his touch "Oh, Satoru.."

"There you go again.." He sighs from disbelief

"Huh? What do you mean?" You raise an eyebrow from confusion

"Always putting my feelings aside and not taking it seriously," He chuckles "Seriously, if you keep doing that, I might think that you're just heartless" He feigns hurt, putting a hand on his chest

"Always so unserious, Satoru." You chuckle

He chuckles, also from his silliness "But seriously, let me show you how true I am of my word."

As you spent more time together, you found themselves drawn to Satoru's charisma and confidence. His playful nature, combined with his deep understanding of the world, captivated them. You began to see him not just as the little boy from their past, but as a man who had grown in both strength and heart.

One evening, as you and him walked through a quiet park, Satoru stopped and turned to face Y/N. "I’ve waited a long time for this moment," he said, his voice steady. "Y/N, I’ve loved you since we were kids. Back then, you saw me as just a child, but I’ve never stopped caring for you. I want to be with you, not as the boy you used to know, but as the man I’ve become."

You looked into his earnest eyes, feeling their heart race. You had seen him grow from a child to a powerful sorcerer, and now, you saw him as a man who had captured their heart. "I never thought I'd say this, but I think I love you too, Satoru," you admitted, a smile forming on their lips.

You decided to give the relationship a chance, navigating your new dynamics with excitement and a hint of nostalgia. The playful banter and deep conversations only strengthened your bond, leading you and him to a future filled with endless possibilities.

As you both walked hand in hand, Satoru looked at Y/N with a grin. "Told you I'd prove it when I grew up." you laughed, squeezing his hand. "Yes, you did, Satoru. Yes, you did." The passage of time had changed many things, but one constant remained—Satoru's unwavering love for you.

Another version!

[antispopausandstuff]

what's bothered me for a long time is that stans praise SPOP for supposedly being a subversion of the self-sacrificing hero trope, when it's not the first, or last, piece of media to do so.

technically, the "i killed Gwen Stacy" trope ( it's a real trope, i'm not just pulling this out of my ass ) can be considered a subversion of the selfless hero, as, most of the time, the hero eventually has to come to terms with the fact they can't save everyone.

it's the first time for queer media, maybe ( though, even then, i kinda doubt it, since queer media's lived far longer than SPOP ever has ), but it's not the first to ever do so.

and this isn't to criticize the trope. it's actually one of my favorites to consume and write, as i usually relate heavily to the characters that represent this trope, and can be used as a metaphor for so many things, including the tragedy of martyrdom in marginalized communities.

but not only is SPOP not the first to do this, they didn't even subvert it in a way that's satisfactory or healthy.

for one, Adora was already on the path of healing when she stepped away from the Horde, the nest of her Atlas complex. however sloppily written it was, she was on her way from recovering, discovering her true self, realizing she's not responsible for everything, and learning to rely on others rather than using herself as the weapon the Horde envisioned her as.

and, though she didn't know it at the time, stepping away from Catra was good for her, too. healthier.

s3 was the strongest Adora's character was, because she stopped blaming herself for Catra's actions, and was done with someone she once called her best friend, her family, constantly trying to hurt her and deny who she was to control her.

there's multiple points in the story where Adora is in the midst of being controlled, whether through manipulation or magic, and it should've been written as huge steps for her character every time she was broken out of it and stood up against her abusers.

we could've really gotten into her psyche, how traumatized she really is, and how difficult her actions that aren't just habit, but a distinct part of her person, are to break. burnout, health issues as a result of stress, lack of sleep, and never knowing peace. we get crumbs of these, but the show is so focused on Catra and making the series as unseriously serious as a possible, that Adora hardly gets the time of day, even when it's at the peak of importance.

she could've been so incredibly realistic, wanting more than anything to have a choice, but being uncomfortable the moment she has it, because then that could mean disappointing or betraying everyone. exhausting herself so much that she's entirely broken down. a self-destructive cycle created by the people she loved so much that she was willing to die for them when she was just a child.

SPOP is not the first to subvert this, but it might've been one of the first to really nail on how completely and utterly damaging it is to constantly give everything you have to everyone around you.

i remember, at one point of my life, where i considered ending my life because i felt absolutely worthless in school. i related to Adora so much, because i could see myself in her, only putting value in myself to what i could provide, to what i could achieve, to what i could do to make everyone happy or proud.

which is why, even if there's weeks or months i'm not actively pursuing it, i'm still invested on rewriting her story. because i, honestly, feel betrayed.

Adora wasn't subverted. she was submitted. her psyche wasn't in the process of recovery, it was returning to square one, because Catra's desires were more important than hers, while the show painted it as a big choice she made.

her story didn't end in sacrifice, so everything's good, right? no.

even if she did make the choice, even if Catra wasn't a terrible person, that's not how it works.

one scene i really like in TLOK is the talk between Korra and Asami at the end of the series. they're acknowledging Korra's trauma, even if it's not directly said, and Asami doesn't blame her for being gone for so long. because healing isn't linear. she's just happy Korra is here.

Catra doesn't think like this, at all. she's still stuck on a promise she had broken years ago, and still insistent on blaming Adora, even in her confession of love.

people say she was ready to die, but she obviously wasn't. she's not happy that Adora is alive, she's happy that she had importance.

far above being a hero, Adora is a victim. and her "happy ending" isn't nearly as happy as people make it out to be.

so, if // when i have more people telling me to move on, i won't. they don't understand how much she means to me. maybe i'll never get to the point of completely rewriting her story, but i don't want to let it go. not yet, anyway. and maybe not for a long time.

she matters to me.

[zeroducks-2]

Sometimes I think about Thawne admitting he has done some heinous stuff to Barry that Barry doesn't even know and I'm like ok did you fuck him? Did you stick your dick in this poor sod at some point and Barry doesn't even realize it cause Thawne's faster than him and his fast healing is making him think his body ache feels good? Thawne was saying shit about turning back time to adopt Barry and groom him like he got my head running shamelessly saying his kink to his crush's face like that hmmm

Okay I KNOW this ask is not serious but I have the chance to talk about my beautiful little meow meow and I will take it, so I will split my answer in two, the unserious answer and the serious answer.

The unserious answer is that I love it about Eobard that he's so open about what he likes. He went (paraphrased) "Hey did you know I was in love with your uncle :D" at Wally one time, and then proceeded to beat the shit out of him. He used to write in his diary about how alone he was and how just thinking about Barry made him feel better. Gayass nerd dweeb he had a crush on Barry since he was a damn child. We could just go on and assume he did stick his dick in there (maybe when Barry hadn't still been hit by lightning), because at this point I wouldn't be surprised (I do believe he used to touch and hold Barry at superspeed back then but that's just me we don't really have canon confirmation of this YET! YET!!! ahem.)

The serious answer is that he's just playing. Eobard is good at saying things that will rile people up, but it doesn't always work on Barry (because Barry knows him), and so he will say a bunch of shit in the attempt to get a reaction. When he says that he did unspekable things that make killing Nora pale in comparison, when he says that he's going to kill Iris (or any other "flashfamily" member), when he says that he'll go back in time and do this and that, adopt Barry (I really fucking loved that one btw), whatever, he's just provoking. He's trying to make Barry mad basically.

I'm saying this because he does not do any of what he says even if he could, at any given time. He can move through time easily, and he does it constantly. He says himself in Finish Line that this is not his first rodeo in this timeline, and we have the confirmation that during the events of Lightning Strikes Twice there are two Eobards around.

Look at this:

This is the beginning of Lightning Strikes Twice. As you can see Eobard is there spying on people, but the thing is that we also know FOR SURE that he is currently locked up in a cell, looking like this:

(the person speaking is August btw)

So yeah, he's in two places at the same time, running around and watching things unfold, and also tied up to that freaky bondage contraption from which Barry will break him out lol.

Also it's worth noting that he's so fast he runs laps around Wally and can go entirely unseen by him, and Wally calls himself the fastest man who ever lived. His powers make it so he can come in and out of the timestream and run through it without any kind of external aid - he does it while being "trapped" in Paradox' dimension, and is precise enough when he interacts with the timestream to not cause any kind of ripple effect (like again when he saved Chris in Flash Age).

If he wanted to hurt Barry like he says he does, he could. If he actually wanted to do any of the shit he brags about he'd just do it without threatening Barry about it. He's just playing, trying to get a reaction out of his crush, and sometimes it works! Sometimes Barry actually gets worked up. But in fairness, most of the time Barry's reaction is 😒🙄 because all of what I just said, Barry knows too lol.

(indeed Barry is also very scared that Eobard might actually hurt the people he loves, because he knows that Eo could and is aware of how easily he would do it. Not many people can defend from a speedster especially if they don't know he's coming. And no one can defend against this yellow menace of a banana man altering the timeline however the fuck he prefers. Luckily for everyone involved, he's not interested in altering the timeline any more than he already did, at least for now)

[unmanageable-day]

Time with you

inspo : Kyuhyun - Time with you

pairing: best friend!Scoups x female reader

genre: angsty almost friends to lovers, unrequited love aka friendzoned :(

word count: 2k-ish

warning(s): drinking alcohol (and maybe none other than that)

a/n: not really grammatically checked. i’m just emptying my drafts lmao this has been in my draft for a very long time. would greatly appreciate your feedback and thoughts! :-) also, the gif credit to the rightful owner (@ scoupsy)

It was another night when you and your best friend, Choi Seungcheol drank your lives away while going through the so-called quarter-life crisis. You with the story of ‘almost’ for the nth time. Almost getting promotion in your job, almost dating with guy A, almost being match-made with guy B, almost picking up a fight with a coworker (which means almost losing your job), and the most recent ‘almost’ was you almost getting back together with an ex who you didn’t like that much. Seungcheol and his much higher alcohol tolerance had drank more bottles than you. He just broke up after five years of relationship, and he couldn’t even cry his eyes out. Not to mention, he just lost a sponsorship for his new project. Isn’t it a perfect night for these best friends to abuse their livers?

“I say let’s just get married if by 30 years old we don’t have a significant other,” he said, his eyes were looking anywhere but you.

You chuckled. “You’re drunk, honey.” He didn’t sound serious or sincere to you, at least now after he sipped three shots in a row.

Both of you were turning 26. Old enough to get married, some people would say. You never gave it a deep thought, especially since most of your friends hadn’t gotten married either. They were either too enjoying their lives, too busy with their jobs, not wanting to be in a committed relationship yet, or they just want to go solo. Let’s be honest, having that one person to spend with for the rest of your life doesn’t always mean a happily ever after ending. On the other hand, you know being married and raising a small family with children is one of Choi Seungcheol’s dreams. You would absolutely be happy for him if it came true any sooner.

He chuckled while pouring beer and soju mix. “I know, but I think I’m sober enough to discuss this thing. What do you say?”

“Even if I agree and say yes right now, you will probably not remember anything tomorrow.”

“Hey, I said I’m sober enough,“ he scoffed as he raised his glass. “Y/N let me tell you, I might look unserious like this, but you have no idea I have tons of husband material.”

“Well, okay I guess, if you want to be my husband that much..” you shrugged, still laughing lightly at the nonsense you two were having that night. And finally Seungcheol knocked himself out that you had to call Jeonghan and Mingyu to pick him up.

The next day, Seungcheol insisted he did remember almost everything he said last night. You still didn’t think of it seriously, so you just responded with a quick ‘yeah’, ‘right’, and ‘okay’. Meanwhile he wanted to have proper documentation about your “agreement”. As you thought it was ridiculous, you just gave him a pinky swear and you excused yourself to go to a company dinner.

---

27th birthday

There was nothing special. Both you and your dear friend were single, and in fact, enjoyed going solo. Your circle of friends tried again to make you go to blind dates. You did, just for a little appreciation to your friends, although you knew it’s just not going to happen. Same thing with Seungcheol’s friend who always offered him to introduce some juniors from their college or school. This time, Seungcheol always refused. Not ready to build rapport and start a new relationship would be his number one excuse, which would always be understood by others.

28th birthday

Your friends started to cheer that you and Seungcheol should end your friendship and begin a real romantic relationship because you two were always seen together.

“Are you nuts?” You chuckled and pretended to give a disgusted expression to him.

“Don’t come to me when it’s apocalypse and I’m the only man left,” he hissed.

29th birthday --- Seungcheol’s POV

Lately I had been feeling anxious and I can’t comprehend what was wrong. But isn’t it normal for people to be anxious when they’re about to end their 20s? Or is it just me who had been denial about this real, like real, adulting phase?

Without realizing it, I often found myself imagining what the future would be like if it is with you; what would it be like to spend the rest of my life with you. I remember the times we walked together. Well, many times. But when did you become such a precious person to me?

The picture of us being together for a lifetime was getting clearer. Somehow I became so sure about it. That’s when I know, I want to live as your significant other. I want to live with you who never stop nagging but I won’t complain. Even when you’re a worse picky-eater than me, more suck at doing house chores and cooking, disorganized, and sometimes talk in your sleep, but I think I can live with that.

I had never so anxious and thrilled at the same time on my birthday in the past 3 years. I didn’t know why I had to wait until it was our 30th birthday.

A few days to 30th birthday

Seungcheol had been walking around back and forth in his studio for minutes. Once in a while, he looked at the calendar and a ring with flower diamond accent sitting on a personalized leather ring box he put on his desk. He just turned 30 last month and Jeonghan, without being asked, held a birthday party for him. This month you would be turning 30 and he already marked it in his calendar with a lot of drawing.

It was counting days until your birthday. As far as he could remember, not even once you or anybody else had said a word about you seeing someone. He was certain of it. This is it.

He quickly went through a list of restaurants to make a reservation on that Friday night. Let’s not go overboard, he thought to himself as he passed some fine dining restaurants from the list. His final choice was a new sushi restaurant. Okay, it’s not anything fancy, he reassured himself. He didn’t want to make it obvious although he couldn’t hide his excitement and his racing heart.

Just as the sun had set, Seungcheol dialed your number. Unusually, you picked up in less than five seconds.

“Y/n, hi! I’ve got something to tell you!”

“Me too!”

“Great! Let’s meet up?”

After hanging up the phone call, with his dreamy eyes, Seungcheol stared at the ring he chose carefully. Right, I’m gonna do it today! In front of a big mirror, he spent a good amount of time just to pick an outfit that he usually wears.

He arrived first at the restaurant and took his time to practice breathing slowly. As soon as he received your text that you were coming soon, he became restless. The lines he had been practicing in his head now started to blur. Please don't ruin it, he begged to himself.

“Hey. You sound very excited on the phone. Did something good happen?” Trying to manage his cool, he welcomed you and poured a glass of water.

Smiling ear to ear, you nodded vigorously. Seungcheol softly smiled looking at you.

Without words, you lifted your hand, exposing the back of your hand, all your fingers lightly wriggling. For a second, Seungcheol didn’t notice what you were trying to say. Until he remembered that you didn’t like to wear accessories and jewelry with too much accents standing out, including a diamond or even gemstone with bright colors. Yet a silver ring with a cat’s eye gemstone now was stuck prettily around your left ring finger.

Seungcheol forced an innocent smile at you. He shook his head a few times, pretending not to understand anything. Deep down inside, he wished it was not what he was thinking. He wished it was just another piece of jewelry you bought for yourself.

“I’m getting married! Jisoo proposed to me last night!” you squealed as quietly as possible.

“Jisoo.. which Jisoo?” he asked weakly after clearing his throat several times.

“It’s Hong Jisoo! You didn't forget him already, did you?” Your eyes widened and blinked twice. “It’s Jeonghan’s friend. He even came to your birthday party. You even hung out together, the three of you.”

He groggily faked a laugh. “Oh, we did?” He stole a glance at you who were staring lovingly at the new ring. “... am I too late?” he whispered to himself, his hand clenching the suede box hidden in his pocket.

“Hm? What is it that’s too late?” you asked, completely oblivious.

A fake cough slipped out of his mouth. He wore his famous sulky expression. “No, I mean... isn’t it too late that you just told me now? You should have called me last night.” Seungcheol knew sulking was one of his famous traits. And this time, it helped so much to hide his true feelings.

“Wait. But… how did you… since when did you and he…” Seungcheol found himself unable to finish his sentence. It’s not like he really wanted to know or anything. He was too dumbfounded to figure out that after all this time, it was only him who had been thinking about the future of you both. Apparently it was just a one-sided excitement that only he felt.

“Sorry,” you muttered slowly. “You must have thought that this doesn’t make any sense.” You tried to read his expression. Seeing him gulping his water, you did the same before telling your story.

You carefully told him that it started last year, specifically on the new years’ eve when Jeonghan held a party in his house. Seungcheol was there too. What he didn’t know was that you and Jisoo spent some time together after losing a game, which led to going to a convenience mart just to buy candies because Jeonghan suddenly wanted it. You found him very easy going despite his serious and quiet look. Not to mention when he lost it in games with Jeonghan, he became somebody else–and you liked it. He didn’t seem pretentious. He was even never trying hard to look good despite he had that gentleman image. It was interesting to see such different personalities in one person.

You didn’t want to think about him seriously as a romantic relationship was not your priority that time. Jisoo probably thought alike, since he never really made a bold move. Yet you two would always find time, or rather time (and Jeonghan) was in favor of getting you together. Nonetheless, both of you still never declared anything. It started like a situationship, you would say.

Until one day, he wanted to make sure that you both shared the same feelings. Since then, Jisoo and you started to discuss your plan for the future. But again, your relationship hadn’t gone public.

“We didn’t tell anyone until we were sure of ourselves and our plans,” you concluded. “I’m really sorry, Seungcheol. I never meant to keep a secret from you, especially when it comes to something big like this.”

Another forced smile was curved on Seungcheol’s lips. “It’s okay. I understand,” he said, trying as hard as he could so his voice wasn’t trembling. “I’m happy for you, Y/n.”

You wore a big smile and looked relieved. “Thank you. Sincerely, Seungcheol, thank you.”

He flashed a smile before pretending to be busy looking at the menu. “Since today is a happy day, we should celebrate it,” he cheered.

“You’re right. It’s on me.”

In the end, he let you choose all the dishes from appetizer until desserts. It was difficult for him to stay focused. The ring in his pocket felt as heavy as his heart, but he knew he shouldn’t show it to you. He didn’t want to ruin the precious friendship you’d had for only God knows. He didn’t want to be remembered as someone petty who couldn’t support his best friend’s choice. He didn’t want you to hate him, and possibly leave him if he started to act out crazy.

[kakerutori]

Can we talk about Mileven for a minute. Another reason I don't buy their romantic relationship is the fact that most of their one on ones as a romantic couple (S3) are comedic and not very serious. Where are the deep conversations and when are we ever shown how much they understand each other... post (S2). It's almost like once they started dating they became a joke? Yes they have a few sweet moments but it's also scripted to be laughable. (S4) never showed them having a honest deep convo resolving issues and growing romantically. It could happen in (S5) but at this point I don't see the emotional romantic draw.

And then there is Byler to compare it to, where most of their one on ones are much much more serious, deep, heartfelt, with actual evidence of understanding and talks involving their feelings (which Mike seems to not have an issue with unlike his plot in S4 with El). This, mind you, happens to some degree in every season with Will. If Mike just sees Will as his best friend, why is he so serious about Will especially alone together. Even best friends are more casual then this.

Also a side note. The (S3) Mileven straight stereotype of the 'lazy, lying, clueless boy' dating the 'girl who is playing hard to get to teach her boyfriend a lesson' troupe is icky and makes me want El to find her power solo and Mike to remember that the old Mike (who has a special will voice) is a much better person and boyfriend. Thoughts?

Damn! Well said, dear anon!! I couldn’t agree more.

To anyone who says anything along the lines of ‘oh, Mleven can’t be broken up, they’ve been building up this whole time!’ Or ‘here’s the slow burn everyone wanted,’ or ‘Mike and El have grown so much even after fighting,’ I really don’t understand how any of that is founded. I totally agree and I feel like their relationship has been rather unserious. Even in the most serious love-centered topics of support (s1), connection (s2), breakups (s3), and expression (s4), it’s really interesting to me how their relationship has consistently lacked depth.

Despite dealing with some of the most important aspects of strong relationships, they aren’t close enough to showing, providing, or proving to have one. Mike supports El in season 1 as she does him, protecting and aiding each other with their strengths. But… so does everyone in that season to each other? The only difference is that Mike sheltered El which is very sweet, but not inherently romantic.

Then there’s season 2, which I must confess - I think that their reunion scene at the end of the season remains one of the sweetest moments on the show. Ever. It’s raw and emotional, and this was the closest thing we got to something romantic. But what shoots it down is the fact that their emotion was due to forced separation and Mike’s very real complex grief which gets completely glossed over in the show. So, I don’t know. It’s tricky. So are they romantic yet? They get virtually no time together. It’s a no for me.

And oh yeah, season 3 was the peak of unserious-ness. I also don’t enjoy that trope of ‘the boy chasing the girl who just doesn’t get it yet and she snubs him until the very end’ kind of energy. I swear that that stuff is littered in family-friendly movies usually as comedic relief, and Mike and El just barely made that trope more serious at the very least. Their breakup is dramatized and humorous, and the way that it’s mended still makes me chuckle. Mike offers her M&Ms, compliments her looks, they smile at each other, and suddenly they’re all good again? Yeah, that’s not very clear romance to me. All season long, they keep resisting each other. Mike lashes out to everyone and declares that he loves El but can’t say it to her face, and El has Max’s words tattooed on her heart that she keeps asserting that she deserves trust. The two just don’t quite reach each other that season. The second that I heard Hopper say that they’ve only been kissing all Summer long without complaining about them talking, I knew that I was not going to be invested in their relationship this season.

And so season 4 was truly the nail in the coffin, the final turning point. They’re not only shallow in making up, they’re shallow in being together. El isn’t honest with Mike about her time in Lenora, how she’s spent it, the people she’s met, the fun she’s truly having. Mike snaps about Will being disinterested, so it’s pretty clear that he was dishonest about his true feelings that day, too. And the most telling part is that he’s not mad at El. He’s mad at Will.

I think that what the writers have done is craft something so deeply intricate and hidden with Mike and Will to the point of confusion in much of the audience today. Will has always been a buffer of affection for Mike. In season 1 he’s the one they’re searching for. In season 2, he’s the one that Mike protects. In season 3, he’s the true breakup that Mike fights for. In season 4, he’s the listening ear and bleeding heart that Mike relies on. Their love only gets stronger and stronger whereas Mike and El are simply loving under the guise of physical closeness. I seriously think that that’s all that they have for each other.

That hug sequence at the end of season 4 really shocked me, because when I saw Mike and El hugging (not to mention that shot with Will right between them) I thought that it was sweet, but then suddenly Will and El are hugging, the siblings who are absolutely platonic, and it felt more emotional than Mike and El’s embrace. So not only are Mike and El visually equated to a platonic relationship, but their bond doesn’t even hold the same weight as the sibling-hood of Will and El.

It’s just wild to me that people don’t see it. I think that Byler is made abundantly clear for us to root for. The crazy together scene did it for me the first time I saw it. It was and still is one of my favorite scenes ever because it’s the total package. Closeness? Check. Honesty? Check. Hurt/comfort? Check. Matching, nerdy Halloween outfits? Check. The lack of anyone or anything else to distract them? Check. The crazy together scene is a marker of their relationship, and it never, ever dies.

Even though they fight, where are they years later? They’ve gone through supernatural and personal troubles together, and they’re still by each other’s side. “Friends. Best friends.” The same at heart. They promise to support each other, they reconnect, they come back from every breakup, and they readily express things on their minds and hearts. They’re there for each other and tell each other things that no other boys in the party have told each other.

Mike and El try to understand each other, they do, and sometimes it’s just trying that’s enough, but on a truly intimate level, that’s bullshit. Mike and Will have everything that they need and want for each other, and there’s no going through hoops to get it besides internalized homophobia. Which I very well think can be reasonably addressed next season.

So yep. Byler is endgame.

[chimielie]

i had the time of my life / fighting dragons with you

summary: Iwaizumi Hajime x f!Reader. No one in history has even come close to touching a night fury. Iwaizumi should be lauding himself as the greatest warrior of all time; well past Oikawa as the greatest of your generation, even. And instead he’s trying to turn it into a cat.

word count: 1.7k

cw: incredibly minor blood, unserious death threats, one minor mention of parental death. overuse of italics and “brat” as a nickname.

a/n: how to train your dragon au, iwaizumi is not really similar to hiccup but he LOVES big lizard!!! anyway i’ve been on a bus since 6:45 am with intermittent sightseeing stops and my phone was also dead for five hours so i have no idea how or when i wrote this <3 love you

“i think,” iwaizumi starts, “i’ve made a discovery.”

“what?” you look up from the whetstone you’re sharpening your sword against, passing the blade through your hands again and again with the practiced ease of years of study. “don’t tell me you’ve pissed over the ale or something stupid.”

his fine nose wrinkles.

“i don’t do things like that,” he says your name, irritated. the mocking lift to your lips drops and your eyebrows soften. he nearly never uses your given name. instead, it’s been lady or bug or brat since you were youths.

lady, most often, used always around your family and anyone who wasn’t a friend. it was your default title, said with iwaizumi’s plain sincerity and never the mocking twist that some of the other village boys used.

bug, generally when he wanted to goad you into breaking the rules. it had begun when you were still children and he had been the largest of you all: oikawa, matsukawa, hanamaki. things hadn’t stayed that way, but the nickname remained and never failed to incense you until you were slinging your weapon over your back and striding ahead of them all.

brat, used without any pattern identifiable to you. it was often accompanied by an exasperated but affectionate puff of breath and an accommodation to a demand, but not always. sometimes he would lean to the side as you entered the dining hall and mutter something like “you have a tear in the back of your skirt,” and before you ever found your tongue in the red rage that descended upon you that he hadn’t said anything sooner, follow with “lucky for you, brat, no one’ll notice when they’re blind with your beauty.”

the last one almost always nonplussed you so much you had no answer but to kick him in the back of the knee, and it never pissed him off as much as it should.

so you know whatever he wants to talk about is serious.

“i know,” you say, lifting your sword and inspecting it. “what have you done, then?”

“i have to show you,” he says, and your brows nearly shoot into your hairline. it’s not something he’s made, then; something bulky, sturdy iwaizumi can’t carry home to you.

his face is carefully neutral, but his eyes betray him. something lively and hopeful is dancing in the depths of his green eyes, something you rarely see in his chronically serious face.

you pick up your two-hander, sliding it into its just-oiled scabbard.

“take me to it, sir,” you say, and his face splits into a beaming smile you’re not sure you can recall seeing in years.

“this isn’t a discovery,” you say blandly as he pushes aside branches so you can duck under them without tangling leaves in your hair. “this is what we called the secret garden as children, hajime. don’t tell me you’re so old you’re losing your memories already?”

“you’re not funny,” iwaizumi says with a chuckle, and pride glows in your chest. “it’s not the glade, brat, it’s—”

“a fucking night fury?” you shriek, scrambling back as soon as you pass through the branches, hitting iwaizumi’s firm chest as an obstacle. “whatever you wanted to show me has been eaten and burned by now, i hope you know! or the other way around!”

you reach for your sword, but he pulls it out of its sheath before you can.

“have you lost your damn mind?” you shout, watching him put himself between you and the most fearsome creature you can imagine and holding the sword towards you. like you’re going to hurt it.

“hey, hey,” he says, tossing your weapon to the side, and the thing snuggles into him, growling. no, not growling—purring. “don’t worry, she’s not gonna hurt you.”

you dive for your sword and come up kneeling, watching your oldest friend, one of the greatest warriors of your generation, scratching the head of a fucking night fury; the same dragon, or its kin, that killed his father five years ago.

“no worries that it’ll, i don’t know, maim and kill me,” you say. “or yourself, for that matter. for the love of life, hajime, what are you trying to do, tame it?

“i’m not trying to tame him,” iwaizumi says, looking up at you with stupid, glimmering, hopeful eyes. “he’s—i injured him, a few months ago.”

no one in history has even come close to touching a night fury. iwaizumi should be lauding himself as the greatest warrior of all time; well past oikawa as the greatest of your generation, even. and instead he’s trying to turn it into a cat.

“why didn’t you finish the job?” you say warily, lowering your guard ever so slightly. it’s a beautiful creature, you have to admit, with black scales that seem to absorb the light and green eyes remarkably like the shade of—

“we—i don’t know,” iwaizumi’s tone turns reverent, affectionate. “we came to an understanding.”

“an understanding,” you echo, cocking your head and sizing up the fury. its build is lithe, more suited to its nighttime bursts of violence than some of the dragons you’ve slain in your day. you circle the two of them, giving a wide berth as the dragon swivels its head to look at you, and there it is.

mattsun’s handiwork if you’ve ever seen it, a beautiful leather-and-metal fin fitted to the dragon’s tail, replacing where iwaizumi’s blade had torn it. you wonder if he’d known. if you were the last of your cohort to know.

“it’s a beautiful piece,” you murmur, reaching out to touch it almost inexorably. it stiffens, hissing at you, and you flinch back.

“go on,” hajime says softly. the dragon looks at you with those alarmingly familiar eyes, sizing you up just as you had it. against all your better judgment, you drop your sword, kicking it to the side. it steps toward you, gaze flicking back and forth between you, the weapon, and iwaizumi. you don’t move, barely breathing as it bumps its head into your side just as it had iwaizumi.

you’re not braced for it, buckling a little under the force of the headbutt, but after a few more moments of caution, you dare to lift a hand and pat it on the head, once.

“hello, scourge of the skies,” you say softly to it. “please don’t burn, eat, or kill me.”

“i won’t let him hurt you,” iwaizumi’s voice is low and raspy, blending with the rush of wind through the grass. “‘sides, he’s well fed, huh?” he gives the dragon an affectionate pat on the rump.

“i don’t even want to know what you’ve been stealing to feed a night fury.”

“not stealing,” iwaizumi says, but he doesn’t elaborate, to your relief. “do you want to see something else?”

“if it’s another dragon…” you warn fruitlessly.

“not another dragon,” he says reassuringly, and instead produces a mass of leather tangled in itself so you can’t determine what exactly it is. the dragon seems to recognize it, though, and bows its—his—head to help iwaizumi through the process of getting it on.

“oh, hajime,” you say with dawning horror. “you’re not going to try and ride it, are you? if you die in such a stupid way, i’m going to be incredibly pissed off.”

“i’m not going to die, bug,” iwaizumi promises, tightening a final strap on the saddle. “and neither are you.”

“what the fuck does that mean?” you say, and he’s already lifting you up, one arm supporting your back and the other your knees like it’s not already humiliating enough, he has to put you in some kind of princess carry to finish you off entirely. “hajime. hajime! you can’t do this—”

your words are cut off by a scream and a second attempt of the day to crawl back into the strong cage of iwaizumi’s arms. the dragon’s wings beat beneath you, a steady rhythm not unlike the gallop of a horse, but you still dig your legs in tightly and squeeze your eyes shut.

eventually, you must reach some kind of acceptable elevation as the dragon’s flight evens out, transitioning from actively beating against the wind to riding it. you open one eye tentatively, your breath stolen from you as the sea of your people stretches out into the horizon.

“are you alright?” iwaizumi inquires in your ear, and you settle a little more comfortably against him.

“i’m going to kill you if i survive this,” you say. he chuckles low in your ear and tugs the reins sharply, steering the dragon in a wide arc.

“you sound practically relaxed.” the ocean’s waves are visible even from this height, and the white line of the crash against the cliffs almost reminds you of bridal lace. “relaxed enough to stop digging your claws into my arms?”

you hadn’t even been aware that you were gripping onto him so tightly. when you withdraw, little pink half-moons are left, some bubbling with red droplets.

“i’d be sorry,” you say, “but you kidnapped me with a dragon, so i think we’re only even now.”

abruptly, iwaizumi’s knee moves, nudging the belly of the dragon, and all three of you plummet, dropping in a neat line toward the blue, blue sea. your stomach drops beautifully as a strong pull of the reins brings you back up, just barely skimming the water’s surface, and there’s spray on your face and sun in your eyes and iwaizumi’s laugh, wild and carefree, carrying you away on the wind.

“thanks for sharing this with me,” he says when you both have your breath again. his night fury coasts on the breeze, the sun low on the horizon, turning the light golden and the sea shining like precious metal in every direction. “even if you were a brat about it.”

you think, maybe, everything makes sense now; a realization as sharp and sudden as freefall feels. you lean back into his chest and raise your hands in the air. a language without words; a name that means beloved.

the sun drops below your eye’s limits, and the beat of the night fury’s wings is steady beneath the two of you.

[scre-a-ming-cupcakes]

John Dies At The End book review and ranting

Personal Rating: 8/10

Ranking in the book series: Top 1

I like horror. I like comedy. I like weirdness and batshit insanity. And I like some seriousness in small bites between. If there is a book that perfectly captures those things in one, it's gotta be this one.

The tone:

The horror is graphic and tense, comedy can go from cheap frat boy humor to punchlines you wouldn't expect if you had billions of years to think about them. I wanna know what the author was on when he wrote the book and I want some of it. Meanwhile the horror is genuinely scary and doesn't really get soothed by the comedic bits. If anything, the horror gets more interesting and unique with the comedy.

Still, there are moments where the serious gets pushed to 100% and it truly leaves the room 5°C colder. (The time Dave gets possessed by a shadow person and the time Dave loses 30 Minutes and wakes up with a gun in his hand and a missing person case. Those are the ones that stood out to me)

Pacing:

Out of all of the books, this one might genuinely be the most badly written. It is very episodic in the beginning (due to the fact that it started out as a web series) and it doesn't have that strong of a red string throughout it all. And it really bullshits its way through the acts with explanations that had no rules, no setup, and no logic behind it. Normally, I would roll my eyes, but with this story, it doesn't turn into a negative aspect but a positive one. The universe in this franchise is weird and has no rules and no logic. It's a mind fuck of a time line and the mix of the *very* unreliable narrator doesn't make it any less illogical. So yeah, this book gets away with a lot of bullshit simply because its funny.

Monsters:

The monsters in all of the series are weird and strange, but I really like the ones in this book. Korrok is an interesting entity that I would love to see more of. Still not sure if Korrok is connected to everything happening in the later books or if the rest of them, the spiders, the millibutt, Xarcrax, if they are their own thing. The shadow people are genuinely terrifying, especially their ability to make you cease to exist in the present and the past.

The characters:

The characters are not qualified to save the world, but still happen to be the chosen ones to do so. You see it in many stories. This is a rare occasion where you, as a reader, truly agree that they aren't made for the job. They don't get magically better at everything within 2 weeks. They are idiots, they are assholes, they are out of shape, they are unserious and unprofessional. But all of that in a realistic, and not over the top way. You can always relate with at least one of the people, or know someone in your life who is just like them.

The plot twists: (spoilers, I guess)

-Todd. I would consider Todd to be a plot twist. It's quite sick to find out halfway through the book that there was one more member of the monster hunter group, and we never got to know them. If the powers of the shadow people were confusing until then, Todd's existence (or rather, non-existence) explains it and shows how terrifying that concept is. And it is teased slightly in ways that you don't recognize unless you read it again. And even then, you miss some of it. (For example: In the interrogation, the officer says that 4 kids are missing, but only lists 3 names. In general, there is an inconsistency with how many people are listed and how many are alive at that point)

-The tool shed. 10/10 plot twist, in my opinion. It's spine chilling. It's brutal and a perfect lead up. I don't know about y'all, but to me, the tool shed reveal was a total surprise. Never ever EVER would I have expected that. It's perfect in a way that it keeps misleading you. At first, you are 100% convinced that the body in Dave's shed is Amy. You don't even question who it might be. You just know it's Amy. Well, fuck you, dumbass, Amy is alive and well. For the rest of the book, it keeps you guessing who it might be. It's gotta be Jennifer! Nope, Jennifer is revealed to be alive a chapter later. Marconi? Marconi is still alive, a few chapters later. You get different ideas and different wrong leads, and during the whole Shit Narnia bit you might even stop thinking about it at all because the guys have different problems now. Ending the book with the finale reveal of the body in the tool shed satisfying and comes full circle. The reveal that the corpse in Dave's toolshed is none other than Dave, himself, is nothing close to disappointing. Our protagonist and narrator has been a monster, himself, for the whole later half of the book, and it's brilliant!!! And once again, it's been teased at from the start.

Little aspects and bits I like:

- The book is called John Dies at the End. John dies in the beginning. His ghost transfers to Dave's phone, a hot dog, a dog, and back into his stolen corpse. He doesn't die at the actual end of the book. If you wanna convince someone to read the series, explain them that. (I know book 4 gives at explanation as to why the series is called that way but I still find it funny.)

- Your dead best friend calling you via a Motherfucking HOT DOG

-Amyyyyyy I love Amyyyyy

- The monsters from the underworld having the humor of a 14 year old fortnight gamer is peak horror

- Always love me some well written unreliable narrator

-"Would you like to donate some blood to CHAIRity?" *throws chair at monster*

-The city of [Undisclosed] is a unique kind of shithole to have a story take place in. It really gives the story a lot more vibes.

-The whole Las Vegas bit is just peak!

----

Other reviews:

TBIFOS | WTHDIJR | ITBEYITWU

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 28

Author’s note: Before you read this chapter, you need a bit of context, because most of you probably aren't from Spain 😅 On this chapter Pedri goes to a Spanish talk show called "La Resistencia", and it is like the most unserious talk show ever. Keep that in mind all the time. There is a main host (Broncano), and then two other who just add random comments from time to time. At the end of the interviews they always ask their guests two questions: how much money do they have on their bank account, and how often have they had sex during the last month, and that's what happens here 😁

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

🚨 Please read the author's note before reading this chapter or you may not understand what is going on 😅

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

Just finished my interview in La resistencia

How did it go?

It was fun 

But I'm sorry

🤨 Sorry about what? 

You know about the questions, right?

Yes…

I'm not allowed to say anything about the money, but the other one…

NO What the fuck did you say?

Well…

PEDRO, WHAT DID YOU SAY

Maybe that I'm not single. Among other things 🙈

Other things? What things?

You have to watch it

I'm fucking murdering you That's what I'm doing 

You won't, you love me 🤍

Yeah 🙄

🥰🥰

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Ok, now you know what I have to ask you."

"The questions…" Pedri says.

"The questions. So, let's start with the easy one. How much money do you have on your bank account?" Broncano asks him.

"That's the easy one?" Pedri chuckles.

"C'mon, don't try to distract me. How much?"

"I'm not allowed to tell you, I'm sorry."

"Bullshit."

"I can't" Pedri insists. "The club has a new clause that doesn't allow us to tell you how much money we earn. It's called the Broncano clause."

"Sure" he snorts.

"I'm not joking."

"He is not joking. Look at how serious he looks" one of the other hosts says.

"Ok, ok. No money talk. But now you have to give me a good answer."

"I'll try" Pedri laughs.

"How many times have you had sex in the past month?"

"I can't give you an exact number."

"C'mon, Pedri" Broncano says. "You have to give me something."

"Is quite often a valid answer?"

"I need you to be more specific. Like, have you had sex today?"

"This morning before coming to Madrid" Pedri says.

"That is specific" one of the other hosts laughs.

"And yesterday?" Broncano asks.

"Yesterday too."

"And the day before?"

"Every day this week. Happy now?" Pedri chuckles.

"Oh, that's… Quite often, yes. Do you have a partner?"

"I have a girlfriend, yes."

"The gasp! Did you hear the gasp from the crowd?" the other host laughs again.

"Wait, people didn't know?" Broncano asks.

"You just got the exclusive" Pedri says.

"Oh God. We've got an exclusive! Can we get one of those exclusive things on the screen? I think we need it. Pedri has a girlfriend! Can I ask you questions about her?"

"You can, but I may not answer them" he laughs.

"Ok, that's fair. But can we get anything else? Is it recent?"

"We've been together for like 3 years and I'm the happiest I've ever been."

"Aww, cute" the other host says. 

"Is she here?" Broncano asks.

"She's in Barcelona, probably planning how to murder me for saying all this" Pedri laughs. "I'm sure my brother has already texted her about it."

"Is your brother here?"

"Yeah, there in the crowd."

"Where is Pedri's brother? Someone give him a microphone! Oh, there he is. Hello."

"Hi" Fer says.

"Have you texted Pedri's girlfriend and told her about this?"

"I'm not brave enough" he laughs. 

"Does she have a character?"

"You have no idea" Pedri says. "But she actually is a softie."

"I think you are not fucking when you go back home" Broncano says, making everyone laugh. 

"Not the first time that happens, tho" Fer smirks.

"Oh, oh, oh. That sounds interesting. Tell us more" one of the other hosts says.

"She supports Real Madrid, so you can imagine."

"Wait, what? A Barça star is dating a Real Madrid supporter?" Broncano says, his eyes wide.

"Love works in mysterious ways" Pedri shrugs.

"Has she made you sleep on the sofa when you've won against them?"

"We don't live together yet, we haven't had to go through that."

"But she hasn't invited you to her place after the game, has she?"

"She hasn't, no" Pedri laughs.

"Has she ever angry fucked you after a defeat?" one of the other hosts asks him.

"If I answer that you won't be seeing me again."

"That's a yes. See you at your funeral, Pedri" Broncano says, making everyone laugh. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Oh my God, Val. He's broken the internet!"

"Hello to you too, Marina. Please come in."

"Sorry" she says. "But Val, this is huge!"

"Yeah, I guess" I say, closing my apartment's door and sitting down on the sofa.

"Are you still mad at him?"

"Slightly pissed."

"Is he grounded with no sex this weekend?"

"Marina!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" she laughs. "But it's funny that you do that to him."

"I don't ground him, he isn't a child."

"That's not what you used to say…" she smirks.

"Whatever. Tell me what is going on online."

"Oh, yes! Pedri basically broke the fandom and people are going nuts and full on FBI."

"And that isn't good."

"It isn't, no."

"Have they found anything?" I ask.

"No, nothing. But do you remember when I told you that some fans believed his goal celebration was for a girl?"

"I do, yes."

"Well, they've put two and two together and realized that the dates match, so now they know the celebration is for you."

"Oh, that's ok. I don't mind."

"Yeah… but there is more."

"More?" I say.

"They also know that your name starts with a V, so they are going crazy checking all the people he follows on Instagram looking for girls whose names start with a V."

"But they won't find me there, he doesn't follow me with his official account."

"Exactly. So now they are looking for people who follow his private account, asking them to check."

"What? That is crazy!"

"Yeah…" 

"Marina, what is it? What has happened?"

"Well…" she says, playing with her phone.

"Marina, tell me. You are making me nervous."

"There is a girl on Tiktok who says she had something with him and that they follow each other on his private account. She says she knows who you are and is teasing people about it."

"What?" I say, getting up from the sofa. "That is so fucked up!"

"She said she will be posting a video with proofs."

"Proofs? Proofs of what?"

"I don't know" Marina shrugs. "But Val, does Pedri follow you with that account?"

"He… fuck" I say, sitting down again. "He stopped using it after we met and created a new one, but he started following me with that one."

"So she could have found you…"

"She could have… Oh my God, Marina. What are we going to do?"

"Call him? Ask him to unfollow you or delete that account so she can't lurk anymore?"

"But he is in training."

"And her next video is going up in… 20 minutes" Marina says, checking her phone.

"Oh… my God. This can't be happening!" I say, covering my face with my hands.

"Fer!"

"What?"

"Fer!" she repeats. "He used to deny rumours about Pedri's relationships in the past, so he may know about this girl, if what she says is true or not!"

"That's… ok. But what if it is true? He doesn't have Pedri's instagram password to delete the account."

"But maybe he can reach the girl and threaten her with suing her if she says something?"

"Is that possible?"

"I don't know" Marina shrugs. "But he could try. Call him, we need his help."

"Ok" I sigh. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

I'm so sorry, Val 🥺🥺🥺

It's ok

No, it isn't

We almost got exposed and it's all my fault

You didn't know you had slept with a crazy girl

We never went that far

Then now we know why she was so bitter 😂

Aren't you mad?

I mean… the fact that now the whole world knows that I exist, and also some intimate details about our relationship, isn't ideal  But I'm not mad, no.  At least not anymore  Though what that girl did scared the hell out of me, Pedri

I know, and I'm sorry 🥺

I shouldn't have said anything on tv, but I got so excited… 

I just wanted to share with the world how happy I am with you 😔

Awww, Pepi 🥺

I love you, Val 🤍

And I love you too 🤍

Does this mean that I'm not sex grounded anymore? 😇

Not you too with that 🙄

What? 🤨

Nothing, forget about it But I'm not changing my mind about it. You'll have to wait until next week and only if you win against Atleti

We will, I promise 😊

You better 

Everything good, then?

Everything good.  But delete that damn Instagram account before another crazy ex tries to do something 

Yes, ma'am 🫡 

Good That's my boy 😊🤍

Your favourite one just like you are my favourite girl 🤍

Cheesy

But the truth 😊

[bakiuwu]

Imagine saying someone posting screenshots to prove themselves innocent cause someone made a fucking alt to spread a fucjing child grooming rumor stupid ass internet beef, are yall slow do yall know how serious that shit, do you know how fucked up it is to be minding your business and for someone to hate you to make up a fucked rumor??? This literally fucking harassment I'm defending myself and showing how actually fucked people in this fuckinf fandom is, also to make a post about something then to throw fucking shade are fucking unserious

Then, on top of all this bullshit to have someone admit that they did it...and a person who I haven't a gave a fuck and even forgot abiut FUCKING YANDERE MOMO ARE YOU SHITING ME, YOU LITERALLY HAVE ME BLOCKED AND YOUR STARTIGN SHIT??? being on apart of this stupid ass scheme l.....WHY cause you don't like me over some baki shit??? YOUR 23 HAVING A DAMN 15 YEAR OLD DOING YOUR SHIT, ARE YOU SURE YOUR NOT THE DAMN GROOMER WERID PICE OF SHIT Why are you close with a damn 15 year older who happens to be a fucking proshipper who has drawn cp before you fucking bitch, it's already bad you write rape fanfics BUT THIS no wonder you were able to make uo such a rumor, you self-progecting cunt

ALSO FOR YOU SAINT FUCK ASS PUPPY TO PLAY THIS OFF LIKE ITS A JOKE??? HATE YOU??? I DONT EVEN KNOW YOU I AXTUALLY FEEL SORRY FOR YOU, YOUR A KID CLEARY SURROUND BY WERID ASS ADULTS, I DONT KNOW ANY OF YOU PEOPLE??? AND YOUR DAMN LIE YOU HAVE HARRSED ME AND MY FRIEND BEFORE YALL CAN NOT BE SERIOUS

Then too pussy to even say anything to me cause WHAT YOUR SCARED OF ME OR SOMETHING??? WTF YOUR A SPINELESS PIECE OF ACTUALLY SHIT, then to act like your changing a new leaf cause you decide to tell WHEN YOU BEEN DOING THIS FOR SOME TIME APPARENTLY, ARE YOU THAT BOTHER BY ME.....what happen to people having a fucking life, your so mad at someone that get a proshipper 15 year old to help your GROWN ASS to make up a fucking child grooming rumor.....that is the most Pathetic loser shit I have ever witnessed, then for this to be played off like this not serious......this fandom is really fucked up,

I don't even do anything all I do is post dumbass shit.....this actually funny....I have no words....so agian if you actually think any of this is silly internet beef.....there's something wrong with you, I feel like people think shit on the internet isn't serious like you can say and do whatever they pls and think nobody should call them out for theyre dangerous behavior this is very serious shit like this can ruin someone's fucking life....this is the last thing I have to say....this so disgusting