#this is the most random thing I've posted to be perfectly honest with you

[perplexedjokist]

jonathan crane has a stutter which is harder to manage with his natural accent, as a child he learned to copy other people's speech not only to mask his stutter but also where he's from.

however it used to be easier because he didn't talk much in the first place, nobody asked his opinion and he never found anything particularly interesting.

unfortunately for him the bat of gotham certainly likes to start conversation.

during their first few fights and returns to arkham jonathan didn't say much other than the occasional small fear ramble, purely because he didn't want to get hit just because he's distracted by trying to mask.

around the seventh time the bat had caught him, he for some reason was driving him to the asylum himself.

jonathan who was covered in bruises and incredibly tired didn't say anything for the first bit of the ride.

"you don't protest when I take you in, why is that?" what a stupid question. jonathan doesn't answer for some time, trying to see if he can stay quiet without issue.

the bat asked again in a slightly different tone and it really does annoy the poor scarecrow.

"shut up." he doesn't think before he speaks, stuttering over the 'sh' sound and repeating the t. there's an audible pause but he doesn't look to see the reaction of the batman, why embarrass himself more?

he's aware he accepts defeat easily, it doesn't matter how many times he has to lose if in the end he'll keep getting away. as long as the bat stays nonlethal.

they stop at a red light, the batman has a tendency to follow road rules despite technically going against the police, jonathan finds it a bit funny.

"I can help you, you know. you don't have to be a criminal, if it's money you need that's an easy fix. and ... if it's help you need, I know the wayne foundation offers free therapy if you sign an agreement."

jonathan again stays quiet, trying to figure out the bats motive.

he hasn't been unmasked like a majority of petty thugs, batman seems to have some sort of code against revealing the mentally ill without their permission. which jonathan finds interesting to an extent and annoying to another.

"I am not ill! I am fear I will be fear forevermore I do not need your help." he surprises himself a bit by not messing up as much as he thought he would with f sounds, unfortunately more with I.

batman seems to find that amusing because he snickers, and the light turns green.

the rest of the ride is quiet and the walk would be too but unfortunately when the bat helps him out of the batmobile he decides to spark small conversation yet again.

"you're glove is broken." he exclaimed while turning jonathan's hands over, one of his gloves split down the palm and towards his wrist.

most likely a scythe mishap, no actual injury.

the bat snickers again while jonathan looks over his own hands and he pouts. what is so funny?

batman shrugs to himself and pulls him by cuffs to the gate of the asylum. the scarecrow has learned a few things these past months, the batman is a strange creature. and he hates bats.

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

Hi, could i request Alastor x reader where one of them does something nice/gives something to the other not realizing that in their culture it's equivalent of courting/proposing? And since the other is in love with them, they don't mention the connotations and it takes someone else to point it out for them to realize? :)

Going to be honest, I wasn't sure how to write this one, since I'm white and to my knowledge Alastor's a Creole man from 1930s, so I wasn't sure what from either of those cultures could be mistaken for a proposal. After doing some research I'm going to tweak this ask a bit, simply because I am not entirely comfortable representing other cultures that I am not a part of and only have a few hours worth of google research knowledge of. I'm sorry if that's not what you wanted. If you or anyone has more specific traditions to use as examples, I'd be happy to try and expand on the idea.

(Or reinterpret this as like, flower language, gift giving symbolism by pagan standards, or crow language. Which not gonna liez my ADHD ass really wants to write a crow sinner giving them weird random stuff they find that they think the others would like.)

Anyway, I'm going to do things you'd do for each other that make you both wanna get married. Hope that's ok!

Alastor

It's not so much a single thing you do, but more like there is a single moment where he realizes he wants to marry you. And to be clear, his idea of marriage is going to be based off of what he grew up with and his own personal level of comfort with romance and intimacy (remember folks, aromantics have a spectrum as well and can get married and have perfectly happy, functional, healthy relationships and marriages).

It's probably not even a big grand gesture or anything. It's more likely something domestic and really sweet. Like it's post the finale fight with Adam, and he already knows he's getting attached because he let you help him get patched up. He lets you in his room, his space, and being touched by you is as easy and comfortable as it is with Rosie and Niffty, who have pretty much a free pass whenever.

Yet you're still always so respectful of his boundaries, of giving him subtle ways to avoid or redirect your touch if he's not feeling up to it. You never push, chosing to take what levels of affection he's willing to express but always letting him know you love him, and this last small thing is the thing that makes it click in his brain.

You bring him his coat, newly patched, cleaned of any trace of blood. The stitching is a little sloppy, crooked, and the fabric isn't lined up as well as it used to be, but you tried. He can see the effort and knows you spent hours holed up in your room after patching him up.

"I know it's not perfect, but it'll hold until you feel well enough to visit your tailor again." You say timidly, as if you expected rejection or critique. And while criticism wouldn't be unwarranted, he's just too emotional to say anything. His smile is gentle, a little wobbly, and he reaches out and brushes the coat aside to grab hold of you and pull you into a hug.

You're just so sweet and considerate, you understand him. He's not going to change, he doesn't want redemption, he thrives off the bloodshed and chaos of hell, but at the same time he's still just a man. And he wants you to be by his side for eternity, if he you want that too. He's never thought of marriage before but now...now he can't stop. He wants to have that with you. Domestic life, something to come home to.

He won't say anything right away, he wants his proposal to be perfect. He's going to have Rosie help him plan this every step of the way, but regardless, one day, you will be his partner.

As for what your moment with Alastor is, I think it entirely depends on what you value most in a partner. However, a general consensus I've seen in most of the fanfics and tumblr posts is the idea of Alastor showing us a softer side.

Not just showing us that he's more than a serial killer and cannibal with his own sense of morality. More than just feeling comfortable enough to let us initiate touch, hut genuinely letting us see past the Radio Demon persona.

Maybe it's by cooking for us and talking about how he learned the recipe from his Mama, which leads into him slowly opening up about her, how much he adored her. What she meant to him.

Maybe it's him and you at the bar in the hotel or in his room, sipping drinks, his jacket off, sleeves rolles up. Letting himself be casual and in a compromised state around you. Maybe he'll even take your hand and spin you across the dance floor like he used to with Mimzy. He doesn't even care if you're not that good, he can teach you, practice makes perfect, he just has fun with you.

Maybe it's a moment where he let's you touch him. Or seeks you out for help because he knows you won't say anything. Or if he humors you and flirts back when you tease him. Or let's say he has a tail and he doesn't snap your head off for accidentally touching it as you go by. Or he agrees to watch a movie with you or listen to a podcast despite how he feels about technology.

Maybe it's just a quiet night, sitting next to each other, each reading a book, his radio playing softly for background noise, and you look up to him to ask a question or say something and he's already watching you, a small, adoring smile on his face.

Take your pick of which one is the moment where your heart stops, your breath catches, and you realize that you wanna marry this man.

And then your delulu ass wakes up, lol.

Decide for yourself if you'd go through with a proposal or if you just accept how things are.

[nekropsii]

Hello, pardon and I don’t want to be a bother but I would like to ask for your take on something. And if you’re not down to answer this question, that’s completely fine, you seem to make large opinion posts on a noteworthy basis so I understand if you don’t have the energy or motivation to give an opinion right now.

But I wanted to ask for your take on the ethics of enjoying Homestuck in the modern day. Many people such as myself and seemingly you as well enjoy Homestuck but are painfully aware of all the gross stuff in it. And as I see the comic pop up in more and more dni lists, with people claiming that enjoyers of Homestuck are supporting these things inherently, no matter the fact that most of us stand against Hussie and attempt to reclaim Homestuck as something to express joy and our identities in, it makes me wonder more and more the ethics of enjoying Homestuck. Since you seem to have thoughts on the matter, I was wondering if you’d like to share your take.

I once again want to stress though, absolutely no pressure to answer. I am not entitled to your time or hearing your opinion. You don’t know me, I don’t know you. I was just asking in case you wanted to speak about it.

Hi, Anon! This is a very interesting question, and you were right to assume I have thoughts on it. They might not be as long and complicated as some of my other essays, but they still exist, and I would quite like to share them. Thank you for the opportunity.

My opinion on The Ethics of Enjoying Homestuck is that I believe it's perfectly fine to do so. I also think it's perfectly fine to dislike, or hate, or not want to associate with it or any fans of it. This is a personal boundary set by and for the individual, and it's not my business to question, nor my place to cross it. However, I don't really agree with the way some people go about communicating or enforcing this boundary. I've seen some people put Homestuck and Harry Potter on the same level before. I've seen some say that enjoyment of either piece of fiction is, at least in part, comparable. I heavily disagree with this- and the fact that this is a point that comes up shows to me that there's quite a few people who don't actually fully understand why so many people are saying to stop supporting Harry Potter.

The conflation of the two things reads to me as if some believe that Harry Potter has been "cancelled for having a problematic creator"- and that's not wholly true. Yes, J.K. Rowling is, by definition, problematic, and she is the creator of the Harry Potter franchise, but people have drawn such a hard line against supporting the series not just because J.K. Rowling is Transphobic, but because she has honest to god legislative power. She is, as it stands, currently the backbone of the TERF movement, and is spending a lot of time and money to ensure that Transphobes dominate the government. Monetary support of Harry Potter pools into her funds, which adds to her ability to further Trans Genocide. Communal/Fandom support of Harry Potter increases her visibility as a public figure, which adds to her ability to further Trans Genocide. J.K. Rowling has made very clear statements saying that she takes any support of the Harry Potter franchise- any at all, including Queer/LGBT+ Friendly fan content- as support of her beliefs. Support of Harry Potter is a method of legitimizing and validating Transphobia, and is being used as a way to further Trans Genocide.

If J.K. Rowling was just an average Transphobe, the outcry would not be nearly as severe, and the line wouldn't be nearly as clear cut. It would just be disappointing, bring to mind the phrase "same shit as always", and many would make the personal choice to distance themselves from it. But that's not the reality we live in. We live in the reality where J.K. Rowling has sway on the government, and is getting real people hurt and killed.

Andrew Hussie, creator of Homestuck, however, is just some random asshole with no political power outside of his own vote. Yes, Homestuck is filled with plenty of unsavory elements- random out-of-place interjections of Hussie's own past bigotry included- but at the end of the day, Homestuck has no influence over government action. Hussie has no tangible political influence, and does not want to have tangible political influence. We don't even have evidence that Hussie still holds the same beliefs as he did during and prior to the creation of Homestuck. This is just some random indie comic, made by some random guy in 2009. J.K. Rowling is dangerously close to billionaire status, and using that power for evil.

It's fine to like something that's not very morally clean- or something made by a not very morally clean artist, during a not very morally clean point in time in a not very morally clean place in this world. It's okay. The fixation some have on this is OCD-inducing. The best that can be asked is that one recognizes the bigotry, and doesn't perpetuate them. That's all. You can read, watch, play, and enjoy just about anything, as long as you don't make the more unsavory elements out to be a good thing. Don't start acting like Racism is awesome, or Antisemitism is cool, or Transphobia is based, et cetera, and you'll be totally fine.

The ability to find value in something impure or unsavory is a valuable one. Some may not want to associate with that, or find the particular flaw in the work in question to be too uncomfortable to stomach, and that's fine, too. Not everyone can just sit through Era-Appropriate Casual Homophobia or Racism and come out feeling fine enough to keep going. I'd argue- hope, even- that most feel at least a bit bothered by such things. It's all about personal tolerance levels. No one's committing a moral crime by either enjoying it or not wanting to even look at it.

[wraith-caller]

rogier and d twins for ask thing :)

someone asking ME about the d twins and rogier?? as if haha like i talk about them sometimes or something?? ha hahahah

Rogier

favorite thing about them His emotional issues and how they result in this weird kind of duplicity. Yes he's a polite fella, but you're never going to get at much with him besides his academic interests.

least favorite thing about them That he can't die by my blade #sicko

favorite line gotta be the dreambrew line, specifically when offered to him post-blight. I feel like it encapsulates and summarizes him perfectly. Bitter and a bit proud, rejecting attempts at empathy and reading them as insulting instead, but then quickly realizing he's getting a little too 'real'. so he immediately covers it up and reverts back to being polite and gracious.

brOTP Him and Eleonora I think. Their stories just have too much in common for me to not want them to hang out and get shitfaced together.

OTP Rogier/his own demise (or maybe Rogier/Darian, who knows??)

nOTP I dunno if I have one. I don't like Rogier/Devin in romantic terms, but if its vicious hatefucking I'll take it.

random headcanon i'll die before i give up the HC that his family is utterly fucked up and the source of him developing his emotional detachment + his people pleasing ways + the cocktail of misery his set describes him having.

unpopular opinion he's absolutely manipulating the tarnished into helping him. it's often read as him being your genuine friend and growing to trust you, but i feel like everything we know about him would indicate otherwise. he's a good liar, holds others at arms' length, and never talks about himself, only his mission and research. his heaping praise on the PC is less about genuine feelings of kinship and more about him buttering us up to keep us helping him. this is not to say he secretly hates us or something. but he's also not the most emotionally healthy person, and i think it'd take a lot more digging before he'd ever make a deeper connection with someone, certainly more time than the tarnished spends with him. he's not just a 'you have to have this many xp points to unlock my tragic backstory' he's a 'you need those xp points to unlock anything from me that isnt a polite smile and a gracious compliment to keep everything running smoothly'.

song i associate with them

Tongues & Teeth by the Crane Wives Distrust by Aibhe Reddy Wolves of the Revolution by The Arcadian Wild Claude's Girl by Marika Hackman

favorite picture of them

im not here to deny any allegations made against me.

Darian

favorite thing about them That in a land full of liars, cheats, killers, and cutthroats, he's pretty honest and straightforward. When he asks something of us, he does it on our terms, and he doesn't press us.

least favorite thing about them his haters tbh I don't know. this isn't me denying his negative traits like his devotion to the GO blinding him, because I enjoy that about him. I like my favs character flaws, they'd be boring otherwise.

favorite line am i allowed to pick all of them?? his voice is hot. maybe this one where he says "You haven't gone to see Gurranq yet? No rush, you do as you please." It's nice being shown patience lol but also joke about Gurranq starving to death is so corny, and I love him for it.

brOTP Devin feels like the obvious choice, but I'd also like to suggest Juno Hoslow or Nepheli Loux. Juno and Darian feel like that, in spite of their vastly different backgrounds, they'd have something in common being the older brother. He and Nepheli, I've honestly got no canon reason for it other than I like them together. I think they have similar dispositions with their kind of serious and stoic natures, but also a desire for justice(though its debatable whether their senses of justice would mesh completely...depends on Nepheli's perspective on the dead).

OTP Darian/Rogier, no surprises, next

nOTP Hmm hard to say. I guess Darian/Fia is hard to picture, but it doesn't make me feel like I wouldn't read it lol

random headcanon I think that, even after being accepted by the Golden Order, he and Devin are still largely ostracized by other knights and hunters, and mostly still only have each other. He still deeply values the Order for taking them, because it's a far cry from having nothing at all, and now they at least have a purpose and a place.

unpopular opinion the fact that i like him at all is apparently an unpopular opinion lol But really I guess I just don't buy that he's a callous, heartless, empty-headed fascist. I was told the other day that the "whole point" of his character was his fanaticism, and I think this is a pretty big misreading of his story, because there is way more interesting stuff to be said about him and fia specifically than 'he's a fanatic'. That is a piece of who he is, but not the entire point.

song i associate with them Dorian by Agnes Obel Before I Sleep by Marika Hackman

favorite picture of them

probably this pic elden_things took of him.

Devin

favorite thing about them his absolutely unhinged and feral behavior that runs so counter to darian's calmer, stoic demeanor. it's another expression of dualities. they share the same soul, just across two bodies, so there is this weird thing where they are at once distinct entities, but also the same. and i think the contrast in their behavior serves to illustrate that.

least favorite thing about them that we get so very little about him, and nothing of him prior to darian's death. so it is hard to judge much of his character when all we know of him is in this freshly traumatized and disoriented state.

favorite line "Ah, hello. The rotten witch is dead." It just drives me bonkers how you can HEAR the crazed grin in his voice. Very well delivered line.

brOTP It's hard to see Devin befriending much of anyone but Darian, but again, this may be because of how we don't really know what he's like before Darian's death broke him.

OTP Not sure I have one for him.

nOTP Devin/Rogier or Fia/Devin. I think he'd blame the former for Darian's death. And the latter, well lol

random headcanon He resents himself and imagines he's a kind of burden on Darian. Being he is the 'younger', he may have an irrational notion that, had he not existed, and Darian had been born alone, there'd be no curse and Darian could've had a normal life.

unpopular opinion He's not a misogynist and I think it's absurd to make such a claim based off like one minute of character interaction, and fresh off the heels of his brother's murder, no less. I think people try to make it a moral imperative for you to dislike a character rather than it just being a personal preference. Just saying 'I don't like them bc they suck and I hate them' is less a powerful argument than 'he's clearly a misogynist so you should hate him or you're bad and excusing misogyny'. It's ridiculous.

song i associate with them The Friend by Meryem Aboulouafa

favorite picture of them

i liked this action shot i was able to get of him fighting one of the gargoyles.

[themsthenow]

DUDE DUDE DUDE I AM OBSESSED WITH THE STUFF YOU MADE OMFG. the wings and the claws im!!!! im feral rn. holy shit

do you have any advice on where to get started if someone were wanting to make something like that of their own? or just generally propmaking for cosplay stuff, god knows i need to find a way to make wings of Some Form to appease the hyperfixation lol

love this stuff it's so cool holy hell

Wow, hey thank you for the nice words :).

In terms of advice, I'd say just be prepared for random stuff to go wrong.

DOWN SCALE.

Unless you have the wide open space required to house an extra entity, I'd say down scale it and make the wing span smaller, because I literally cannot put these anywhere lol. Me and my friends were measuring them by an estimated version of Tessa's height, assuming she was an adult Australian (160cm) and not a dead child wearing robot. The original wing span ended up being almost three and a half Tessas. Down scaling is definitely recommended.

Then going on to material, I'm going to be honest, I don't really know what any good substitutes for what I've been using. The best thing I can think of would be like cutting up one of those big umbrellas you see in like outdoor seating areas because they are built to be sturdy and light enough to to transport places. The blade part of the wings were made out of cheapo yoga mats, they are not Eva foam(idk if Eva foam is more expensive, but cheapo worked for me), they are some kind of material similar to insulation sheets just slightly thicker, I have the cutting patterns on the blog (the mats are 140x50x1cm) . Springs are something similar to "helical extension springs"(they pull things together, like trampoline springs) the strength of these will vary depending on how and if you downscale the over all project.

The general wing mechanism had to be redone a little bit but the new design is just based off an umbrella. It's good to use when you fold it in that the sections form a square in between the joints as a reference because it makes it easier to translate to the wings when drilling holes. The grey moving bar is on the outside now👇

I'll be reall, this part👆 needs a bit of precision. The two holes at the bottom have to be the exact same distance and stuff as each other so the mechanism works. You could probably find a way to optimise the mechanism but I did not (this was just easier for me at least)

The way all the blade parts go up is kinda cheesing it if you want all individual parts to work perfectly without extra materials. I was tying a string together on the bars and it worked to space the wings as I wanted to.

All in all, I'm going to be making a big ol summary post detailing all the stuff whenever I'm done fully.

Until then, I hope this helps, good luck to you and don't be afraid to make mistakes :).

(it's only a mistake if you give up)

Prop making and cosplay in general are things I probably can't comment on because I have never done cosplay and most of the prop things, I make are made out of random trash I can find that would cost dumb money if you went out to buy it new.

These for example are gutter or house liner plastic that was left over from a building site (gloves were uber cheap) and they were tedious and smelly to cut out and melt over an open flame, but if you want to do this too wear a mask for saftey unless you don't care about your lungs (which you should)

The claws were a lot easier to make. Easy enough that I made two sets (I think I went through the process of making these already)

[ghostofbambifanfiction]

That was so beautifully written! I thought the line 'He wants to talk to his friends so desperately until conversation starts, then conversation exhausts him, and each kind word or piece of advice peels all of his raw wounds open and rubs them down with salt' so perfectly captured that feeling of feeling so sad, stuck and heartbroken that I think so many people can relate to (particularly as somebody who has struggled with depression for most of their life).

I can't wait to see their next interaction! Curious to know why James hasn't seemed to have acknowledged Lily's Frasier post, the fact he didn't mention it makes me very intrigued!

I was wondering what he meant when he said "he doesn't like Skylar all that much.", did he mean in a attraction sort of way or more generally? I really like the way you have written her as a character but have always felt that James has never been actually that invested in the friendship but let himself get carried along with it as he was too polite to say otherwise.

Thank you so very much you wonderful person! It's really nice to know that my perspective on heartbreak is relatable to others including yourself (although I am truly sorry for the reason why and wish you all of the love and healing that you deserve) as I was worried that I'd get "it's overdramatic" as feedback. I've only had my heart broken once before, but that was how I felt at the time, so I put it into words as best I could. It made me feel really good to read your words and I hope it makes you feel good to know how appreciated they are, and how validating it was to read them.

I have some answers for you! Re: the Frasier post, James didn't acknowledge it for the same reason that Lily didn't acknowledge his, because he couldn't satisfy himself 100% that it was meant for him. He also has a habit of being quite passive in general, a habit that the last act of this story (aka the act we're now in, now that it's "tomorrow") is going to see him working to change.

Re: Skylar, if James is honest with himself, the best thing he can say about Skylar is that he doesn't dislike her. She's a very forceful person who thinks she knows what everyone wants and needs and she assumed, without seeking confirmation, that he enjoyed her company so much purely because she enjoyed his. I remember reading an interview with Daniel Radcliffe where he said he worried a bit about Rupert Grint because if some random person asked Rupert to go to their house, he'd probably just agree to it, and that's James exactly. James has been agreeable and polite and, again, passive! His passivity affected his relationship with his mum because when he tired of her controlling behaviour he vanished on her rather than confront her, and his passivity led to Skylar snatching a much bigger role in his life than he ever would have chosen. But thanks to her he's becoming aware of it now, which is ultimately going to be great for him. She taught him a very valuable lesson, but that still doesn't mean he'd be overly psyched to spend time with her in future. He doesn't find her particularly fun.

(Remember in my opening author's note where I said that this fic was going to be short, quick and fluffy? Clearly I was setting myself up for embarrassment because I cannot stop myself from overthinking these crazy kids and their motivations. Oops?)

[random-introverted-blog]

I suppose you want to hear about...

Me! Hi!

So first things first, what is this blog? Despite this name, it's actually Not a Shadowheart exclusive BG3 blog. The name is just a play on a joke I made with some friends that there is a DEEP lack of Dark Justiciar Shadowheart and Dark/Jealous/Possessive content for her. While I, of course, get and love our precious, wholesome Selunite baby, there's a lot of untapped potential for her Sharran Side. There's already a whole post I made on why I think you can definitely pull off a Yandere/Obsessive Shadowheart if you're interested. Can find that post Here, if you're interested.

This blog will be

Astarion and Shadowheart focused. BG3 blog maybe a random aside thought?

Not everything will be Yandere/Dark

I would like to be heralded as a Meme Queen, thank you

YES, I write fanfiction too, there's no escaping us.

I have SO many prompts/ideas/drabbles to share with you guys too

Maybe an opinion or such, like the Yandere Shadowheart post

Requests? Don't trust myself to do them in a timely manner. Suggestions of things to write? All for those, hmu girlies

I write a longfic on AO3 called I Want To Live. You can find me... Here!

I also now write a story called His Star - His Queen and that can be found... Here! Or if you prefer to continue reading on Tumblr I have a master page I call the Chapter Index and the link can be found... Here!

My Tumblr name is different from my AO3. I have yet to transplant my drabbles to my AO3 but if you want to stalk and stare at the relative void of my page, you can find me Here! My name there is A Random Introvert.

My inbox is open in case you guys aren't aware. There's really no limit on what you could send in that I won't reply to.

My Masterlist can be found here!

If I'm perfectly honest?

I'm actually a Spawn!Astarion simp more

ALRIGHT PUT DOWN THE PITCHFORKS I'M JUST BEING TRANSPARENT HERE.

But I've always had a weakness for dark romance, yandere content, obsessive/possessive/jealous content, and Ascended!Astarion has that in SPADES. So does Sharran!Shadowheart and DarkJusticiar!Shadowheart just saying.

Hence why the profile picture and banner feature Astarion and Shadowheart. This blog is for both of them, as I simp both.

Now not to come across condescending or anything, I know most people are aware what a yandere is. But just in case there are some newbies/uninitiated in this sacred, unholy character trope. Never want people to feel awkward or unwelcome or even ashamed they don't know something.

There are many other tropes that tend to be interwoven into a yandere. It's hardly ever their only trait. You can learn the rest by reading that, and your own research.

Look, I may be a Spawn!Astarion simp but I'm very staunch in my belief.

This is above all a No Judgement - No Shame blog

We can all enjoy ascended Astarion or Obsessive Shadowheart or whoever else you want to make a dark character. We can, because we can all acknowledge that no one in a healthy frame of mind would actually want to be with a Yandere in real life. But here, in text and words, we can enjoy it for what it is. A fantasy. I have a partner (hi babe) who is the complete antithesis of a yandere. I am actively writing a double Yandere electric boogaloo fic on AO3. Which they actively read and I talk about often. Doesn't change that I want a healthy relationship. And if I ever got a hint that they were recreating the scenes I was writing, I would ***SPOILERS*** drop faster than Shadowheart's parents when she kills them that's dark and I'm not sorry nor feel bad for it ***END SPOILERS**

That said; I welcome you to this little blog of mine and wish to be welcomed to this fandom if you would let me.

I think we're going to have a lot of fun together

[o-craven-canto]

A sentiment commonly seen on the subject of generative AI is, paraphrasing, "this image was not assembled by a conscious mind; therefore it is worthless, empty of any value as art or even entertainment, and it would be empty even if it were technically perfect, even..." (not sure of this part, I may be extrapolating a bit) "... if it were pixel-for-pixel indistinguishable from a piece made by a human artist. If I were intrigued by the appearance of such a piece, I would lose any interest the moment I found out it was made by a machine."

At first I thought this sentiment was absurd, and concluded that nobody can possibly feel this way, that it must be a dumb kneejerk response or an excuse to hate on AI renderings because it's trendy to do so. I no longer believe this. (Well, I do still have disagreements with several common sentiments about generative AI, none of which is relevant to this post.) Hearing this sentiment spelled out by a friend IRL made it click into place.

Turns out -- must be blindingly obvious for most, but was not for me -- that many people see art, at least when it's not a simple matter of space decoration, primarily as a social interaction, a form of communication; a message from the artist to the viewer.

Now, I am a biologist, a philosophical materialist, a completely unapologetic STEMlord, and to be honest probably not quite entirely socially well-adjusted. The vast majority of my aesthetic experiences, at least the ones I am most aware of and most deeply stricken by, involve nature and not artwork. If you ask me to name ten beautiful things at random, at least seven or eight will be natural objects and living organisms. If you ranked entities by how much aesthetic pleasure they give me, slime mold would rank much higher than the David. Animal anatomy, cells, fossils, mountains, planets, forests, oceans, parasites, ecosystems, phylogeny, embryos, asteroid impacts, the continental drift -- all my favorite things are things that no one made.

(My lifelong atheism is also probably relevant here. I've read that 18th century Deists were fond of interpreting Nature as a message from God, and treating natural science as inquiry into God's mind and personality. I have no such recourse.)

Sure, I do appreciate artistic representations of natural beauty as well, realistic, stylized, or schematic (love me a good diagram), and I respect the skill, imagination, and dedication that go into it. I even try it myself, sometimes, and I should hope that someone else appreciate it.

But, much like someone kneeling before a crucifix is supposed to be praying to the transcendent deity and not to the carved wood, I can't help but see these wonderful works and their talented authors as essentially a conduit, a channel, a referent to Something else. Even my first great aesthetic experience, the one so perfectly fitting my taste that I suspect it was my taste that molded around it, drew most of its beauty (for me) from something completely outside of human grasp.

If I think of my favorite visual artists I think mostly of inhuman things -- C. M. Kosemen's dwellers of other universes, John Martin's conflagrations of water and fire, M. C. Escher's tessellations and paradoxes -- where individual human characters have a minor role, if that (this is not necessarily the case for writing, for what that's worth), and all the undoubted skill and creativity that went into those works, is, for me, mostly a way to allow that inhumanity to show Itself.

Anyway this is basically why I'm not bothered by machine-made pictures.

[justatalkingface]

The 'Great' MHA Read Along Gaiden, 1(?): Why in the hell I'm even doing this.

It occurs to me that people reading these posts may be wondering why in the fuck I'm doing this. Goood question! (and a perfectly understandable one at that.) And, rather than cluttering up a more 'normal' Read Along post with this, I decided to make this post, set up in a way you could only find it if you want to find it; I'm not going to force this grandstanding monologue on some poor, random sap.

So, again, why?

Well, in part? Some kind of sick curiosity, really, the same kind of curiosity that leads people to do all sorts of weird things; can I do this? What would it be like to do this? What will this become, if I do it to the very end? I wonder that, and so at least part of me wants to find out, simple as that. There's also some more honest curiosity, mixed with nostalgia, to re-read the earlier chapters again. But beyond that?

Well...

When I first started reading MHA, I fell in love: all these things I liked in a story, but it was different, new and interesting. The plot was promising, the characters were charismatic and felt real, a new and exotic take on a super powered world... I became a loyal reader from that first chapter.

Oh, the flaws were always there, of course, but some of them are problems that are there in retrospect, some of them I was just too blinded by the story to see... and some I saw, but I loved the story so much that I kept going anyways. Besides, if you stop reading something just because it has some flaws, you'll never read anything.

Still, I hoped and waited for it to improve. And I waited. And I waited. And I waited.

And I waited.

But not only did it not get better, it got worse instead, those flaws festering in the plot like infected wounds that had been left to rot. Izuku endlessly being ground in the dirt for no real reason, Bakugou being praised for treating people like shit, All Might being turned into a useless moron, Shoto's story being eaten alive by Endeavour's whitewashing, the inconsistent and often idiotic choices of villain characterization, All For One being turned into a joke... Nighteye.

And the more the story disappointed me, the more aware I became of its flaws, until we reached The War Arc, which, much like MHA itself, raised my hopes before dashing them into the ground. It was then I knew that things would never improve, and that things could only get worse from here; that arc left so many things so destroyed that there was no way for Hori to salvage them, even if he tried.

*Spoilers: he didn't!*

Still, by that point, I'd read what will probably turn out to be most of the story, and I was kind of commited; if I stopped here, it the curiosity would irk me, like an itch I couldn't scratch, until I found out, and giving up on MHA felt like giving up on all the parts I did like, all the interesting world building and characters that had ever been a part of this.

Plus, in all honesty, one chapter a week (which I've gotten far less regular about checking) isn't that big a burden, so I kept reading.

Still, as I kept going, and started looking for people who shared my opinions, and as I found fanfiction staying more and more with the troublesome portrayals canon gave us, rather than exploring what could have been, part of me was wondering: was all this there from the start? Was this ever as good as I thought it was? Or did it just get that bad over time?

And, well. I still want to know. Those questions still irk me. And, once this was brought up, the idea of it wouldn't leave me alone.

So, *shrug*, I'm finding out.

[itsmissing]

Hi, you said we were allowed to ask random questions, so I wanted to get your take on this if it is ok. I have followed you for years at this point, and your creations are incredible! They inspire me so. I recall some time ago posting a.... reskin? Revamp? Of one of your DnD characters? I know most of your characters are not dnd nor should people use them in their own games, but if I am reading this correctly it means you yourself play or have at least played TTRPGs in the past. So, since you are welcoming questions, I thought it fair to ask an insanely creative person like you.

So I am in many DnD games right now, and most of them are very RP heavy. I find I can articulate myself well digitally when I can edit what I'm saying to make myself look thoughtful and knowledgeable. But when I RP verbally in the moment - particularly characters that have different thought patterns than I do- I flounder and words become difficult.

Suffice to say- how do you approach RP from a creator's stand point? Creating many different characters and making them unique from yourself but still compelling and competent? What is your thought process to RP?

If you do not feel comfortable answering this ask and that is perfectly fine- I realize this is coming out of left field but you did say you were bored and wanted asks, so I thought this line of questions was fair game. Regardless, I do wish to share how insanely creative and incredible I find your works. If you do not mind more questions in the future, I would love to ask a bit more of your inspirations and thought processes towards how you approach art, but instead I'll settle on my odd ask and hope I am not egregiously overstepping.

thanks for the question! bit of a long answer so i'll put it under a Read More.

i've actually played a couple of campaigns of dnd and blades in the dark (tho they were all over discord calls, and none of them ever concluded naturally), and i totally understand where you're coming from! tho i'll be honest, i haven't played ttrpgs in general in a good long while. i definitely had frustrations in my first ever couple of sessions of dnd (using a character i lovingly designed from scratch), and i think a lot of those pain points stemmed from me trying to force a narrative journey i already had in my head, pre-planned, that i imagined during the design phase for that character. but at the end of the day, dnd is improv, and if you're not used to that, your character's going to end up a little different than how you imagined, and that's ok! a session is always going to be a collaborative roleplaying space, where the party's stories as a group and as individuals are crafted gradually, over time, and some of the ideas you had for your character at the start-- their backstory, their personality, the way they talk and think-- are going to be constantly workshopped into something different, naturally, over the course of a campaign as you get more comfortable. i also find it's a lot easier to rp when you stop trying to inhabit The Exact Character That You Made With Love, and instead try to rp with their essence in mind instead. the most important thing for me when roleplaying is to understand the basics of my character-- whether they're nice or mean, outspoken or reserved, polite or straightforward, etc-- more than anything else. more practical, actionable advice is that it helps to ask yourself questions in your off time and try to answer them as best as you can, out loud and in-character. interview yourself as your character! what's their favorite fruit?

thanks for the question, and also the kind words about my art! i had typed a lot more than this out but i felt like it was mostly incoherent rambling. this might still qualify as that, actually. hope this helps in any way!

[technicalknockout]

I wanted to reply to some of the stuff from my ask, but didn't know whether to reblog it or send it as an ask, I thought it might be easier this way?

silly straws page - i read in 'dipper and mabel's guide to mystery and nonstop fun' that bill likes silly straws and thought it was a silly random tidbit, imagine how surprised i was when i realized there was LORE behind it.. im still figuring out some codes bc i dont wanna look them up and im having so much fun !!

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

stanford trying to keep me from reading the book page - "you cant hear the disappointed sigh im making rn, but i assure you it's devastating" i mean he failed to stop me from reading the entire thing in one sitting but i was just very happy to see ford's cursive again. It was really funny seeing him trying to guess what the reader would be convinced by (i saw the moth picture and thought 'whats that called, a goth moth?' I laughed out loud when it turned out that was actually its name)

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

urban legends page - as a long time fan of creepypasta the references in this page absolutely delighted me. Also the art is so realistically horrifying, whoever drew these i love you

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

the one true intelligence test - idk this page just made me laugh a lot

So freaking stupid i loved it so much. I think my favourite was the "divide this number in half" bit.

Entire anti-cipher society part - i love how instead of telling the story in just plain text, they made us follow the story with newspapers and journal pages. What was that called. I swear there was a name for that kind of storytelling if anyone knows pls pls tell me

That whole bit was so interesting. It was a really fun way of telling the story!

every page with ford and fiddleford - BEAUTIFUL. SUBLIME. BEST THING TO EVER EXIST IN THE WORLD. I HECKING LOVE FRIENDS BEING WHOLESOME TOGETHER AND I LOVE IT MORE WHEN THEYRE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM MY FAVORITE SHOW. THEY MAD SNOWMEN OF EACH OTHER THATS SO CUTE

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy.

Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg.

And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

"but my aim is getting better" - do i need to explain this one

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

whatever this page is called;

I hated reading this (i loved reading this). i kinda got spoiled before i bought the book with an analysis post, had to literally put my phone down and think about what id just read. i think this page really puts bill and ford's relationship into perspective. ford's a person and bill's a multidimensional semi-god creature, bill will do and say anything in his power to get ford to do what he wants. this relationship cannot even begin to resemble normal. and also the forgetting your own name part horrified me, thats some good horror right there.. love it when books make me have a visceral reaction to tiny words on paper

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

call transcript from the police - OH the LORE and CHARACTER ANALYSIS FOOD RIGHT HERE. i could talk for hours about how bill straight up sucks at relationships and he's SO unwilling to admit he was upset about falling out with ford that he's lying to himself MULTIPLE TIMES OVER AND OVER and how a lack of genuine connection with people is eating him up - but if i talked about all that this post would spiral into insanity real quick. Also drunk bill talking into the phone was very very sad and very very on character and i could hear hirsch's bill voice inside my head it was really good aghjgnkhhh

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

stan's page - I ALMOST CRIED AND I KNOW THATS KIND OF A WEIRD REACTION BUT I SAW THE STAN PAGE IN THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM OKAY AND IT WAS MAKING ME VERY UNWELL I WAS EXTREMELY RELIEVED TO JUST HEAR THIS MAN SO HAPPY AGAIN STANLEY PINES I LOVE YOU YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

AH GOD YOU REPLIED TO EVERYTHING ????? THAMK YOU

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

>:( he knows us too well he knows we'd give anything for more info about shermie...

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

Ive been stuck on the numbers one, im gonna give it one more try today but i think it's gonna take a brain bigger than mine jfbsjdkskfs im STEAMING aleeeeex why are you making this so hard for me/silly

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

does that imply ford tried to show bill his moth collection at some point ????? imagine jdbshfjsnf

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

I WHEEZED WHILE READING THIS ID NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??? but like. it's definitely on character i fully believe it happened. i mean this man backflips out of windows why not hnskdkdshd thanks for putting that image in my head

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

YEE!!!!! I think they were allowed to take more creative liberty than in the actual show, being a book and all, and i think thats really cool.

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

WELCOME TO THE FIDDLEFORD FANCLUB MY FRIEND. ive been a fan of him since the legend of the gobblewonker tbh.. i tend to latch onto very random silly side characters that fill the specifically shaped holes in my brain. Loved him more when i found out he had lore, love him even more after reading the book. Yay fiddleford 🎊

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy. / Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg. / And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

i swear these two are absolutely adorable and that is an objective fact i will not take criticism. the page where ford was rummaging thru fiddleford's desk and found the glove prototypes broke me.

and also yeah the college photo ! i mean like. augh. how do i put this. theyre so friends. ford believed fiddleford was right even tho they barely knew each other and worked together and came up with an entire theory. idk it's so wholesome. AND FRILLIAM !!!!! FIDDLEFORD GOT FORD A LITTLE GUY AND FORD NAMED HIM FRILLIAM AND I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY SPRAY HAND SANITIZER IN BILL'S EYE FOR RUINING THIS. these two are dear to my heart im so so frickin glad they made up and are somewhat keeping in touch now..

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

I KNOW THE PAIN SO SO WELL NO ONE AROUND ME EVEN KNOWS THIS BOOK EXISTS. ILL CHEER WITH YOU WHO CARES IF WE'RE NOT ON THE SAME CONTINENT. FORD MY GUY SLAYYYYYY🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊👏👏🎊🎉🎉👏👏👏

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

exactly.. bill is a Scary Silly Guy™��� thank you tbob for reminding us. it was very on character and we appreciate it a lot. but like did you HAVE to make ford suffer for it :'(

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

Guy had it comin for him tbh. rest in therapieces bill ciphor reincarnate as a vole (also YOU WANT TO HEAR MY RAMBLES🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺???? dont mind me if i raid your asks sometime. or discord dms. whichever you prefer !)

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

JASIDNFJSNFKSS PRETTY ACCURATE ID SAY. Stanford pines you are absolutely awesome take my money

[azsazz]

Have you ever talked about your process for writing? Like how you start a story/outline it? And things you do to get in the headspace to put those ideas into an actual cohesive story? I’ve always wanted to sit down and write and have so many ideas but my adhd seems to make it impossible to do anything with them 🙃😅

hmmm I might've talked a little bit about it if you search through the #azsazz writing tips filter on my blog but i can answer this here as well!

to be honest...it depends. when i first started this blog, don't really do anything to plan, i was just deeply fixated on the books and i wrote and posts 3 times a week consistently for a long time...and then lives changes, you move, get a new job, and there isn't as much time anymore.

for my one-shots, i really don't have a process, and i know this is the most unhelpful thing ever. i just think of it as i go, let the words flow, don't think about it too much. or, if i don't have the full idea, i write the parts that i can come up with ideas for and go back and fill in the blanks/connect the pieces later.

midnight muse (the fanfic version) didn't exactly have a plan either it really was one of those fixation moments as well which was why some people didn't like how things went within the story, but now i've revised and updated it and it's becoming something that i love again and i can't wait to share it.

but, for the second book and future books i plan on writing, i am planning them out. i was recommended to read this book called romancing the beat. it's essentially a "guide/formula" or how to write a romance novel. it has helped me a lot with figuring out plot lines and you obviously don't have to follow the thing perfectly but it's helped me get good bases for my stories so far. I'd recommend that for long fics/stories...

i'm always thinking of random ideas and one-liners and stuff and most of the time they don't even get used, but i write them all in a note on my phone as soon as they come to mind! then i can use them later, stew on them, or delete them if they aren't working.

sometimes, i don't want to write at all and i feel lazy. sometimes i force myself into writing a few sentences and if i get into i get into it and if i don't, i stop, go read or watch something or chill. i don't force myself to do it because i know if i do that i will lose my love/interest in it.

i would maybe just start with making a list. then, go back and categorize it somehow. by character, by if you think you can actually make them connect somehow to form a story, etc. maybe that might help!!

thank you for sending this question, i hope my answer helps you at least a little bit!! 💙💙

[miraiq]

KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.

repost, do not reblog this

NAME: Prince/Jehr/PJ. PJ is just a combo of the two alias' first letters. Jehr was my original when I first started out using aliases ever, which was created for me by my best friend at the time. I slowly tried to make a new alias for other muses I wanted to write without having them be associated with me-- for some reason? Wanted to hide or start fresh or something I guess? Same friend also made me take a HomeStuck quiz to get my... uh... vibe? I don't recall what it was, but the answer was Prince of the Light and I used that as my personal url for years, so I actually took the newer alias from that.

PRONOUNS: He/Him

PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION: Discord is the fastest way to get responses from me, simply because the app is always logged in on my phone and pc, while tumblr is only logged in to my personal tumblr via my phone. Any mutuals that would like to add me on Discord: princem0n

NAME OF MUSE(s): For my sanity, google doc for full list. Otherwise, main/actively in use muses: Severa/Selena(FE), Caelus(HSR), Serval(HSR), Kyo(Fruits Basket)

BEST EXPERIENCE: To be perfectly honest shit-posting/memes are always a welcome relief and the best way to destress. I recall previously that myself and group of fellow hooligans would constantly make photoshop edits of stupid things that would go around on the dash. Example(s) of something(s) I made during that time:

But I also really enjoyed being able to deep dive into characters relations and how they worked against or with each other. Especially when it came to characters who didn't have their entire story brought to the forefront, like most videogame characters. You don't get to see the behind the scenes stuff with them, most the time, so it's fun to see how they could have gone about or reacted to different situations/after the fact/how it affected them.

RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS: Lack of communication. Sometimes I forget things, so I'll typically come ask for an answer or reconfirming that I didn't miss something or misinterpret anything. If there is an issue, I am begging, please just approach me. I often will do this if I have a problem, all I ask is the same in return. I can't stand constantly being left on read, especially when trying to discuss stuff plot related. We can't be on the same page if we don't have conversations going BOTH WAYS.

Other than that I'm pretty relaxed. I, as a slow writer, won't hound people practically ever for responses. We're adults, life happens, things come up, muses hide or aren't as strong as others. As long as you aren't actively ignoring me/our threads, there's no problem. If I don't see you posting at all then I know you just need a breather and that is A-OKAY. This is a hobby for fun. Why be fussy and cause problems due to impatience? I guess that is another pet peeve- impatience- lmao.

MUSE PREFERENCES: Bottoms. I notice myself writing of lot of "tsundere" types? Or redheads. I just love them. Misunderstood but fight against the world because they don't want anyone to know that they're broken.

PLOTS OR MEMES: Both. Both is good. Everything in balance. I used to meme a lot, and I've definitely toned it down. But I don't know, sometimes getting too serious or having too many think-hard-about threads can be tiring, and lil shitposting is a good breather to be able to let you get back on with it.

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: Both are nice. I tend to overwrite, simply because my style will typically go into my muse's thought process(es), or if the thread is still being established, I try to set the scene or give background information. But, short replies are nice. Gives you a small thing to work on and take a rest between lengthier threads. That's also why I like random inbox prompts. Not all of them have to go anywhere- just gives you a space to do something else aside from your drafts.

BEST TIME TO WRITE: I am absolutely not a morning person. Night owl to the max. You will see me up still at 3am more often than not. I typically wake up around 10am-1pm, so I'm usually writing right around dinner.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): In some aspects, sure. Not entirely like one-for-one with any muse, but there's always at least a piece of myself in each muses. Helps write them better, in my opinion. Only exceptions typically being any "self-insert" like characters. (ie. Robin/Avatar from Fire Emblem: Awakening). Most of those characters still have a base personality to them though, so unless you completely customize them, they're still pretty "how do YOU respond" choices change how they are.

Tagged by: Stealing dis from Rath Tagging: Yo who wants to let me know their lore?

[tuulikannel]

May I ask🏅, 🧠, and 💭, please?

🏅 What is something you recently felt proud of in regard to your writing (finished a fic, actually planned for once, etc).

“actually planned for once...” *dying of laughter* ^^;;

Yeah, so. Not that. >_> If I’m perfectly honest, there’s very little I’ve been proud of in... how long? Dunno. Haven’t finished anything, haven’t planned anything... have barely written anything. Next chapter of Caught Between (last updated in May) has practically no words, next chapter of Gifts (last updated in March) perhaps a handful. I did start a new wip and wrote ~2500 words in a day which was nice I guess, but now it’s stuck too.

Sorry, this is a glum answer for an ask that should be all positive, but seriously, I’m in a slump rn. ^^;;

🧠 What’s an idea you have that you can’t quite call a WIP yet?

Hmm... I don’t know if I’ve got many of these. I think I’ve started writing most of my ideas...

Well, there is the Mary Poppins fusion XD In which Karma & Shuu are siblings and Aguri (playing the role of Mary) becomes their new nanny.

I don’t know if I’ll ever write this thing, but it amuses me quite a bit. I guess it would follow the plot of Mary Poppins pretty closely... I only have some random scenes in my mind. Like, heh, there’s the scene where Mary’s friend Bert takes the kids with him for his chimney sweep job (and she’s not happy about that)... well, here (human) Korosensei has Bert’s role, and Aguri for sure isn’t happy that the kids would get anywhere near his line of work. ^^;;

(This whole thing is just weird, I admit ^^)

(And then of course I've this one idea for original work (a fantasy book, or two) that I've had for like past 20 years and that I most likely never write. >_>)

💭 What is a headcanon you have about your own work?

Headcanons. Uh. Those things I’ve a plenty (not) ^^; (Umm, disclaimer, I'm not 100% sure what this "about your ow work" means, so I'm just picking something that is a headcanon to me and is something that might or might not be overly visible in my fics)

So. Let's see... That contrary to the popular belief. Gakuhou loves his son. ^^ That all he’s doing, he’s doing out of love. It’s all messed up ofc. But the main goal is to make Gakushuu as strong as he can be, so that he won’t end up like Ikeda. (Moreover, I’d claim it’s semi-canon. :p The Graduation Album mentions that Gakuhou’s hidden side is that he won’t shut up if he starts talking about his son, and it hints at him being “oya-baka”, literally, idiot parent, i.e. overly-fond parent XD)

Oh. And I feel like him going so nuts over Ikeda’s death just makes no sense. They hadn’t been in any touch for 3 years, for heaven’s sake! All that “he loves Ikeda more than his son…” I don’t swallow it. But this makes me suspect he wasn’t such a balanced person to begin with. And... this might be another hc of mine... I blame his parents. They did name him “summit of learning” anyway >_>

But yeah. These are literally the only headcanons I can think of at the moment. XD (I've never understood how headcanons work. I keep on seeing those posts where people are asked to come up with headcanons about X, and then they just. do. Like. what.)

[lgbtlunaverse]

Ok I have such visceral feelings about Xiyao and rarely see the specific aspect explored that I want in depictions of them but. I haven't been able to articulate why that is or what I'm looking for till now and it was bugging me. and your tags on the JGY kinnie post articulated it perfectly so. Thank

Well!! Ksdjdjskan I'm glad that my history of lying to my family, friends, and therapist has contributed to both our media analysis capabilities!! (Well when i say it like that it sounds stupid but I MEAN it)

I'm gonna use this ask as an excuse to go into a bit more detail on exactly that subject, cause I have been thinking about this a lot. I notice that anytime people go into the elements of xiyao that aren't exactly healthy, most of the focus is placed on lan xichen as the wronged party (and yeah he's the one being lied to! It makes sense) but in a strange sort of twisted parrallel to jgy and qin su's relationship, xichen is probably the one having an overall better time in the xiyao relationship right up until the reveal at the end!

To qin su, she had a loving if not physically passionate marriage with a son who died tragically young but was still wonderful and loved. Xichen had a sworn brotherhood where jgy and he could lean on each other and be honest with each other even when they couldn't be with anyone else, and despite any trouble with nie mingjue they mourned him together, carried each other through his death, and take care of his little brother in his memory.

Jin guangyao, meanwhile, has to keep up the act at all times. Somewhere in between getting taken in by his father and killing nie mingjue xichen stops being the one who will stand by his side no matter what and becomes... another person he has to act in front of. This doesn't actually change the fact that Xichen is his favourite person. That the act he is putting on for Xichen is likely the person he sincerely wants to be and strives to be as close to as he can. Jgy has put on masks all his life but this is the one he wishes was his actual face.

(Side tangent: Jgy genuinely wants to be good and help people. I believe this fully. Yes he wants to keep himself alive at all costs and will do horrible things to ensure his own safety but that doesn't mean he likes doing them or that he thinks they're justified. "Not having any better options" and "doing the right thing" are, in fact, not the same. I think jgy sincerely wishes he hadn't done any of his worst crimes and feels guilty, even while fully believing he had to do them.)

Side tangent over. You can lie to someone and love them. Sometimes the fact that you love them makes it harder to be honest. Because their opinion of you matters so much, them hating you or looking down on you is worse than anyone else doing so. Can you really handle dissapointing this person? Can you? There are a lot of people Jin guangyao lies to out of pure self preservation. I think Lan Xichen is one of the only ones where his primary motive for lying isn't just the physical consequences of what would happen if he gets found out, but also the emotional ones.

Cw for discussion of suicide this next paragraph.

So. I've been struggling with suicidal feelings basically since i was a young teenager and every single serious attempt or consideration, ever, has been in relation to a lie i've been telling (usually to my family) and it getting increasingly harder to keep quiet and increasingly more harmful to drag out. It feels so horrible that I have, on multiple occasions, considered killing myself to get out of it.

Now, jgy is a lot more dedicated to staying alive than I am. But that doesn't mean the actual feeling of it is any different to him, it's just that he doesn't see dying as a solution to problems like I do sometimes. I can say with experience. That loving someone and being around them pretending to be the person you actually wish you were but know you can't be is fucking torture. At any random moment a voice in the back of your head can and will pop up and remind you that this is fake. They wouldn't love you like this if they knew. And the longer you keep it a secret the worse their reaction will be. You'll manage to forget and let yourself be happy around them because they make you happy and the moment you remember you will feel guilt for that happiness. You're not just bad for lying, you are worse for daring to enjoy this person loving you on false pretenses.

And the fact that for jgy all this is just a repeat of shit everyone else has been saying about him for no good reason for literally his entire life? That he doesn't deserve to be here, that the people around him are too good for him. Oh. No. Yeah. Like I said in those tags. Nightmare scenario. (And then to be killed by this person for a thing you didn't actually do? Because you have fallen so low in their eyes that everything is fair game now? Fuck. Fuck. Xiyao make me want to go chew on glass.)

[supernovaa-remnant]

humans are really really complicated. so are interpersonal relationships. they're really messy, too.

and, I know this. of course I know this. and it's such a fun topic to explore in literature and fiction. to write and read about. the little nuances and sharp edges to people and their connections.

but, it's really really messy in real life. it's something I love to explore in narratives (I love to explore many things in narratives, to be honest), but when it comes to reality, I find myself more.. confounded.

there's a purpose to messy relationships in fiction. there's a purpose to everything in a story, and that gives it a sense of order. in reality, though, it just.. happens. it's just a fact of life.

people are unique individuals who have their own sets of morals and beliefs and will, inevitably, have their own moments of hypocrisy. and this will mean that they will never perfectly wholly agree with every aspect of another's beliefs, I think. sometimes it's simpler—little disagreements of food or other preferences. sometimes it's bigger.

and people clash. and people all have their own reality. their own perceptions of the world. their own perceptions of each other. and everyone has their own wants and needs and desires and ideas of how the future should be how they want their future to be. and that clashes. sometimes it clashes with people they love.

what do you do? what if it's something big? do you use an act of hypocrisy and go against your own morals? do you drop the friend all together? do you try to find middle ground? and your answer to these questions would change depending on the circumstance. which friend? what was the disagreement? which morals are brought into question? what if they don't agree to the middle ground?

I've softblocked people for putting neg posts abt my interests on my fyp on instagram. but I wasn't that close to them. I used to be, but years upon years stretch in between. so much can change. another person put that same kind of neg on my fyp. she's a new connection. less close, but still tangible in my real life. she lives in the same building as me. I scroll past the posts she's liked and do nothing about it.

I have friends who dislike people I like. if they were practically strangers who followed me on instagram, maybe I'd softblock them, too. but they're not. I love them. I've loved them for years. I will continue to love them. some random youtuber I've never met won't change that.

and they also respect my interest. respect my view point. their reasons for dislike aren't that harsh, anyway. but even if they were, I love them. I'd stay friends. it's normal to have disagreements like that. it's easy. it's part of being human.

if you had a friend who continually cheated on their partners, what would you do? that's far more extreme than a difference in opinion about some person neither of you know. cheating is a serious thing. it's a hurtful thing. what do you do? do you bite your tongue? do you warn their future partners of their tendencies? do you cut them out of your life?

that seems specific. it's not something applied to me. it's something I'm.. observing, you could say. I used to know her well. as really young children. again as middle schoolers. we grew apart in our high school years and went to separate universities.

she wished me happy birthday on instagram.

my sister has gotten closer to her again. it baffles me, a bit, how easily my sister talks about this once-mutual friend cheating on her most recent boyfriend. maybe I'm not involved enough to understand. maybe I don't quite grasp humanity to understand. why not bring it up? why not talk about it? why not do something about it? especially if it goes against your own morals so clearly.

people are confusing. confounding. muddled and messy and imperfect. and I think sometimes I get too stuck in viewing things as a narrative. narratives are easy, you see. they're easy to craft easy to understand. they exist adjacent to reality, and that's a space I find myself inhabiting quite a lot.

my close friends are good people. they wouldn't cheat. they wouldn't kill. one has stolen from a big corporation once (tentatively on accident?) but, to be fair, it was very funny and led to an inside joke between the entire group.

we have differences of opinion on the death penalty, I think. prison, too. those are pretty big moral standings. and, yet, there's still an air of separation. what will us talking through it in the late hours of the night in our friend's media room really impact? going back and forth with all sorts of deep philosophical and moral debates is just something we do.

but what if they hurt someone? well, everyone hurts someone. everyone hurts people. it's inevitable. it's part of being human. we're all just accidentally stepping on toes and apologizing and doing our best to navigate it all.

what if they hurt someone on purpose? they wouldn't. I know them. they wouldn't.

but that's not the point. the point is to question how far can my own morality can stretch for the people I love. it's messy. it's confusing. maybe it's hypocritical.

humans are messy. and we like to place clean cut blame when we get hurt. but we also hurt others. and sometimes it's viscous and the anger is a defense from the pain.

we played a game. truth or dare. is there anyone you'd stop being friends with if it wouldn't cause drama within a friend group? no. sometimes they feel like they don't want to be friends with someone at that moment, but not permanently. it's interesting. it's fascinating. it's something I want to reach out to grab, to examine.

I'm not sure I fully understand it. I think I do. some days. sometimes. maybe I've felt it myself.

humans are really really messy. we hurt and get hurt and we're all just trying to make it through this okay and with connections. it's easy to exist in a vacuum. it's more complicated when other people come into play. but it's so so important, I think. it's just part of being human.