#this is the most ive ever gone into detail on this man | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mbat · 8 months ago

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!! these were made using bases !! the bases will be linked below the cut!!

the cut is so the post isnt too long to scroll past, but also i will be talking about the au in it!!

decided to draw my own take on adult flurry heart, mostly so i could draw my own take on opaline in the au where opaline is like a nightmare moon of flurry heart. if youre wondering who the third pony is, its chrysalis' disguise for the au, named gentle heart.

flurry hearts base:

opalines bases (one for the body, the other was only for one of the wings):

gentle heart/chrysalis' base:

i had to use bases because ive been in such a weird art block lately, i just couldnt draw bodies right, but i was having this idea and i just had to get it out of me lol. i drew everything else just fine, idk why i couldnt draw bodies. shout out to elementbases on deviantart for having a lot of good mlp bases! and organized into categories no less!

btw for reference for adult flurry heart i mainly used images of her only adult appearance which was in some mobile game ?? i never played it but its real and its the only time we see her as an adult, though i dont think we get any details about her aside from how she looks. i just wanted to say that cause idk how many people know about it.

also yes her cutie mark is different between versions of her

so this is an au ive been tossing around for a while, especially since it started out as a half-theory i had about g5 before it truly did set in that they were just fucking up the entire thing (no hate to g5 or anyone who likes it but im personally just. disappointed), namely when they were like 'oh yeah opaline is just some alicorn that celestia and luna knew as kids and when they didnt want to play with her she held onto that for thousands of years and became evil over it'

also apparently the reason equestria is separated is because she just. idk whispered mean things in everyones ears? idk man i dont read the mlp comics, i plan to read g4s comics but not g5s. i didnt even know g5 had comics until i looked up why the pony kinds were separate.

anyway the idea was a theory because before all that we had no idea who opaline was, why there was some random alicorn, i mean, weve seen so few throughout g4! she was so mysterious for that, and i feel like the most popular idea was that she was flurry heart, since that was one of the few alicorns we knew of, and flurry is such a blank slate, especially since we dont technically ever see her adult form (with one exception)

i still personally think they shouldve gone that route but i know now that they wouldnt have, they probably wouldnt have wanted to give one of their previous characters, especially one like flurry, any bad traits or make her a villain, even though it would be such a cool idea. not to mention, they couldve redeemed her? idk man. worse villains have been redeemed lol

on to my au though. i wanted to keep it feeling like it couldve been canon but also stretching it just a little bit to make maybe more sense and also be more my creation, yknow?

we see at the end of g4 that chrysalis is trapped in stone alongside the other two villains she was working with, but we also know that these stone prisons can still be escaped, as we saw in discords introduction. my idea is that the stone is kept locked up, but unattended to, and she escapes, though her fellow villains dont. the specific details will be saved for if i go more in depth on all of this somewhere else lol

she develops a plan, that being to disguise herself as a normal pony, and to become staff at the crystal empire castle. that disguise is gentle heart, a name she literally made up because she was mocking the 'stupid' (from her perspective) names that ponies have, and she just kept it. while she works at the castle, she gets close to a young flurry heart.

she acts very extremely sickeningly nice and sweet in this disguise, but theres an uncanniness to it, a disingenuine undertone that is only noticeable when youre looking for it, really. flurry heart comes to love and trust her as a friend, and gentle heart isnt seen as suspicious to really anyone in the castle. people still think chrysalis is trapped in stone, after all.

her next step in the plan, however, is that when no one else is around, she shapeshifts herself into cadence or shining armor, and acts like a horrible parent to flurry heart. this creates a deep disconnect for flurry, as one moment her parents are the best ever, and the next they arent. if flurry tries to bring this up to them, they have no idea what shes talking about.

flurry begins to confide in gentle heart about this, and gentle heart begins to plant the idea in flurrys head that she should run away, and that gentle could run away with her. after a while of this, flurry finally decides to do this.

they run far, far away together, flurry being a child/young teenager, and they hide where no one else really goes, far from towns and pretty much any ponies. (this location hasnt been chosen yet but its not the mooost relevant? the basic point is that theyre hidden away) and they set up a home here.

soon in, gentle heart makes a decision. she shows her true form to flurry heart, a flurry heart who was never taught about how changelings used to be before their reformation, as her parents thought it was a conversation for when she was older. they didnt want her to feel paranoid, or scared. the changelings she knows are bright, and covered in generally round shapes. theyre not like the jagged and dark chrysalis.

gentle heart tells flurry that she was cursed. that her pony form is her true form, but she was cursed by the princesses to be in this form. being in her pony form drains her of energy, her changeling form recharges that energy. really, its just her excuse to not need to be in that pony form anymore. she tells flurry that she was cursed falsely, accused of a crime she did not commit. that she was made to work at the crystal castle so an eye could be kept on her. she asks to be called chrysalis, as being called gentle heart in this form feels wrong.

chrysalis right now is the only person in the world that flurry heart trusts, so she accepts this as truth.

as flurry heart grows up, chrysalis begins to plant ideas in her head that the other ponies are awful and horrible, just like her parents seemingly were. that flurry heart is better than all of them because shes not horrible, and on top of that, shes a natural alicorn. there hasnt been a natural born alicorn in thousands of years before her. flurry heart begins to believe all of this too. she doesnt have anyone or anything else to tell or show her otherwise.

these dark beliefs warp her appearance overtime, making her go from her parents daughter, into what we know as opaline, akin to princess luna turning into nightmare moon. she becomes annoyed with, averse to her cutesy name she was given by her family, and adopts the name opaline, both because of her crystal cutie mark, and because part of her still thinks of the crystal empire as her home, though now more like its hers to own someday.

speaking of, into her adulthood, opaline and chrysalis form a plan. a plan to take over equestria. the idea of being the ruler of all of pony kind was a natural conclusion that chrysalis wanted opaline to make, and so she did. their first step was to invade the crystal castle and take it over.

chrysalis tells her that cadence was never a fighter, so she shouldnt be an issue, but shining armor would be. if both chrysalis and opaline combined their power, they would easily overpower him and anyone else daring to fight them. the thing is... this works.

for a few reasons, actually. people were shocked at the return of chrysalis, and on top of that, despite her warped appearance, opaline was recognized as flurry heart. there isnt exactly many alicorns, and especially none that look similar to her. there was a fight put up, but not at full power. no one wanted to hurt the lost princess.

she takes over the empire, trapping any who oppose her, especially her parents. she doesnt even give them the option to talk to her. she plunges the empire back in dark days, not in the way that sombra did entirely, but still. shes strict on her subjects, and begins to make them like a military, planning to use them to invade canterlot. anyone who would dare come to attack the empire would be held off.

after she knows her subjects are loyal (terrified), and properly molded into an army, she storms canterlot, chrysalis by her side. its a hard fight, but they do it. they trap the other princesses, and they take over.

opalines first rule of business is to make the crystal empire the new capital, the new seat of power. for a while, this is the most drastic thing she does, otherwise going slow with her horrid ideas and changes.

the worse comes when shes already caused distrust and discomfort among ponykind, pitting ponies against eachother. she begins to decree that ponykind must be separated by type, designating towns to each, forcing ponies apart by law. she made sure it was enforced. she didnt need ponies coming together to rise against her, so she forced them apart. the damage is done.

this of course doesnt last forever. twilight is free and gathers the elements, and they take opaline by surprise, ending her reign. they empty the empire and trap her alone in her castle. thing is, she also trapped them in a limbo-like state, along with the other princesses (and her father), as they had also tried to join the fight. and a final blow to her, chrysalis got caught in crossfire, and was seemingly killed. no one intended it, but it happened. opaline is devastated.

and now, shes stuck. trapped alone in a castle in the middle of a city. she has the whole city alone to herself, and all she has now is the items left behind by her people, and mostly books. she only ever sees them as fiction or propaganda though, refusing to take them to heart and accept them as truth. alongside reading and re-reading the books around the city, she schemes of a way out. she is not very successful in this for a long time.

the closest she gets to getting out is when she opens the barrier just long enough to see, and kidnap, a young unicorn. a one misty brightdawn. she forces misty to be her only companion in a long time, and raises her like a daughter, but not lovingly.

some stuff continues on similar to canon, like misty befriending the mane 5 and leaving opaline behind, but i wont say more because i can keep some secrets for myself :] i do have an ending to her story planned though!

also pls ignore timeline and other canon contradictions pls pls pls pls pls lol

#my post #mlp #my little pony #flurry heart #opaline arcana #queen chrysalis #my art #in which i talk waaaaay too much LOL no one needs to read that i was just having a time ok <3 #flurry heart opaline au

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chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago

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hi! i’ve been reading your analysis/theory posts and i love them all! i had a question about your will being twelve theory, i definitely see how he could be, the only thing i don’t really get is how he would be at the lab and have a life outside the lab? like mike said the first day of kindergarten will was on the swings by himself and they’ve been best friends ever since, and joyce talked about the crayons for his eigth birthday and how his friends all got him star wars toys, so we know he was friends with at least mike and lucas (i think dustin came in the 4th grade so it’s possible he was also friends with will at this point) and possibly other kids when he was younger, so how would he be able to have this whole life outside the lab while also being a kid at the lab?

Hey! I’m so glad you love reading them!! And also apologizes for taking so long to reply!

I don’t think, based on any fandom-wide consensus of the events on the show, as of now, that I'd be able to provide a definitive answer?

Like there has to be pieces missing, which have been left out for a reason, and those are the details that I think will be necessary to fully transcribe to this theory. Until then, there's too much missing for even me to believe it fully.

However, if twelvegate is real, or at least close to what’s going down, then even despite the entire audience missing it, I do think there are probably hints in the details connecting Will to Hawkins Lab, that were either missed or not pinpointed properly, which may or may not hold some answers.

I do have a of couple theories about where some pieces of the twelvegate puzzle might be hiding in earlier seasons. Although, I think beyond pointing them out and talking about them, it will only lead us to more questions!

TBH, most of this post will just be me trying to come up with some possibilities. While I don't fully believe all the observations I've came across are leading in every direction I speculate them to be, I do think the answers for the ending have to be in the show. There are only so many options to work with here... And so, whatever. I'm going for it.

To start things off, a wise man once said:

I always wondered if this could be a hint to the audience that the answers to some major questions are hidden in some sort of papers we've seen/heard of throughout the show? Newspapers, documents, drawings perhaps?

This then reminded me of the newspaper clipping(s) they showed at the end of s1 related to Will's disappearance:

Hawkins Lab Blocks Inquiry (left)

Coroner Arrested For Falsifying Autopsy (middle bottom)

More Heads Roll in Ongoing State Trooper Scandal (right)

The Boy Who Came Back To Life (middle)

The former missing child Will Byers has been found after a week of searching. He is presently in stable condition in Hawkins General Hospital. Byers' mother, Joyce Byers, alleges Will was the subject of a secret government program run by the Hawkins National Laboratory. The allegation comes amidst a massive investigation into the hidden organization and its elaborate experimentations in perusal of mind control. — The abuse detailed in the first report includes prolonged physical duress and psychological interrogation. This [gove]rnment sanctioned torture has [prov]oked outrage amongst the American . . . In a statement issued yesterday . . . Ives mentioned her "disgust" . . . the organization saying, "our own [Ame]rican people are being treated like . . . we should be directing our . . . to the real target, the Soviets, not . . . own daughters and sons." Under legal . . . Brenner has issued no comment on . . .

An article by that same title resurfaces in s2. However, it seems to have changed some of the details about what happened, in an update of sorts.

The Boy Who Came Back To Life (s2)

"In a recent statement, the state coroner's office has admitted to misidentifying the body recovered from the Sattler Quarry as twelve year old Will Byers. Will Byers had gone missing two days prior, inspiring the town of Hawkins to form a search party in the hopes of finding him. When a boy's body was recovered from Sattler Quarry, the case seemed solved. Six days later local police, lead by Chief Jim Hopper, found Byers alive in an abandoned cave a few miles outside of Hawkins."

Obviously, the update of this article had to do with the State coming in and covering things up.

I've read up on it, but all I can find from the ga's consensus back then, is there was some confusion over the fact that the article went from being about Will and his disappearance being connected to Hawkins lab and experimentation and mind control, only to switch in the next paragraph to Terry Ives report on Jane's abduction. A lot of people speculated that it was probably just a copy paste error, where like the Duffers were too lazy to put something relevant there, and so they slapped on a random paragraph and called it a day?

Now, to be real with you, even if the Duffers themselves said this was the case, that it was just an error on their part, I would not believe them...? Because rewatching that shot, you can tell it's important? Like what else is the point of it, if not to hint at something? And then why have it return in the following season (literally one episode later?), with an update, that clearly covers up most of the details, if there's no deeper reason behind it?

One thing from the s1 version that has me side eyeing is, 'our daughters and sons' (Willel s1 crumbs?).

I also find it interesting that they refer to the quarry as Sattler Quarry, twice? It doesn't seem that important on the surface, but from what I remember Sattler Quarry was really sort of sus in terms of what they were up to and the way they were talked about, in connection to Hawkins Lab and them scrambling to cover up Will's disappearance by planting a fake body there? Idk it just feels weird...

Which brings me to this next small detail I haven't heard anyone talk about before, but I have a feeling it could be part of this, or perhaps part of something that is still yet to be revealed.

The night they find Will's body, Karen and Ted are watching the news. We hear the reporter talking about Will's body being found at the quarry. Though the audio is loud enough to hear at the beginning, the newscast shifts to quiet background noice as Mike's parents begin talking.

White text is easy to hear/red text is a little difficult to hear:

"Byers' body was found in the water of this quarry by state police earlier this evening. He was discovered by state trooper David O'Bannon, just after dark. The state police are mounting an investigation to determine Byers' cause of death. But an initial inquiry... *few indistinct words* suggests that foul play was involved. Will Byers was a 7th grader at Hawkins Middle School. He was reported missing on Monday morning by his mother. Now, Byers isn't the first person to drown in Sattlers Quarry, if you'll recall, only 7 years ago--"

Now, I have tried and tried, but even still now, I cannot discern what was said after "But an initial inquiry...", because Ted interrupts and it muddles up his words with the reporter's, to the point where I can't discern it well enough. I think I hear the word media somewhere in there?

As far as I know, no one has talked about this, at least not enough for it to even be mentioned on the Stranger Things Wiki timeline.

I legit checked the timeline while making this post, hoping to find it, and hopefully anything else that might have occurred that year.

TW: byler

Okay. Cool. It appears, according to Wiki at least, nothing substantial happened in the year 1976, other than the fact that it was the year Mike and Will met on the swings in kindergarten. I assume that would've been in August/September of 1976? Then this drowning at Sattlers Quarry would've been on Nov. 7th, 1976, a few months later (and 7 years before Will's 'vanishing')?

I always thought it was interesting that they said kindergarten specifically. Like kindergarten? That's such a cliche in and of itself. But what if that was the point? To make it something we heard and then just went with, but in reality they're giving us a hint? (Will and Mike would've been five years old in 1976).

I do think that the mention of something happening, exactly 7 years prior, to the day...? Like that's really odd? Not only is it connected to Will because it's the day he went missing, but also... 'it was a seven'?

Though, I feel like if it had to do with Will specifically, they would have included that (which reminds me, if anyone can transcribe that indiscernible part of the newscast, LMK!)? Also if it was another child even, wouldn't they have mentioned that too? That seems like it would be an important detail?

But then the scene cuts off right there. Like the second the word 'ago' leaves the reporter's mouth, we're suddenly in Mike's basement (interesting...). And so, apparently they were willing to mention this anniversary like event, with the infamous number seven, only to cut it short without any further context for what actually happened 7 years prior?

I guess I would have to rewatch and pay attention to see if there are any other hints that could somehow relate to this occurrence that happened in 1976, but since like I said, no one's really talked about it (correct me if i'm wrong pls!), there isn't anywhere for me to really go from here in regards to that.

But it does make me wonder if this was one of the easter eggs David talked about being all the way back in s1, because like? I just really don't see a reason for it be there at all unless there was a reason?

Specifically in combination with Twelvegate it interests me because, Sattler Quarry was the place that Hawkins lab decided to put Will's fake body (why did they need to go all out in the first place in Will's case??).? Is it possible they were doing something there 7 years ago, related to the lab?

Like this does make me wonder about the whole Will created the upside down theory? I've read some crazy theories over the years about how a lot of what occurs with the supernatural happenings going on in Hawkins, aligns with Will and his emotions at times? For example, there's quite a few times Will sensed the mindflayer before/after something occurred, often related to Mike, and then we'd see Will touching his neck. But it wasn't always like that from what it seemed, and so I never really thought anything of it.

And then s4 happened, and this theory has sort of slowed down after it was 'confirmed' Henry got banished to the upside down by El after the massacre at Hawkins Lab, presumably encountering the mindflayer, before Will?

However, in combination with twelvegate and everything, what if Henry getting banished there also had to do with Will? Because I mean technically speaking, if Will is Twelve, that would mean he was right there in the rainbow room with El that day, only like a few feet away...

What if they were doing wonder-twin shit? Will creation powers combining with El's destruction powers?

It's still unknown why Henry would target Will in the first place, like could it be because it was all Will's creation to begin with?

This also reminded me of the constant imagery of Twelve playing with the red tower in the rainbow room. We see this repeatedly, like a lot. We even see El hung up a drawing of said tower in her room at the lab... Twelve building that red tower reminds me of Flayed Billy's 'we've been building it!'...

TBH I had no idea what the red tower in s4 could possibly mean up to this point. But in the context of Will being Twelve with creation powers, it makes a whole lot more sense. (Is the upside down stuck on the day Will entered it, because the creator showed up and now it's just stuck on create mode? LOL... Wait, but actually???).

I think the only way it would work, is if Will was a unique case, which obviously he would have to be if he created the upside down? Though I'm not so sure I think that Hawkins Lab knows this? Or maybe they do?

TBH I think it's a lot more likely Will has been able to predict some things, for example, Owens keeps talking about how this has been a long time coming, they've been preparing for this. And that took me back to s2 when Will was at Hawkins Lab talking about a storm...? Could that have been Will sensing what was still to come? And was Owens taking notes? Because in the past he had been able to predict some things based on what he saw/how he captures what he sees in his drawings?

I mean Owens was literally rewatching Will's tapes. And there are moments with him that just feel like there's something deeper going on there that we're missing. Quite frankly a lot of the scenes with Will at Hawkins Lab are missing answers, so that in and of itself is, very weird to brush off.

Eery to say the least.

These scenes also remind me of the onlookers El was met with when she arrived at Nina:

I've said recently that Owens and Brenner give off good cop/bad cop vibes, and I still feel that way. However, what I think at this point is that Owens is more focused on the 'cause' aka the US military having the upper-hand against the Soviets aka what he could get out of this monetarily/reputation wise, as like a patriot/war criminal. This would also parallel quite nicely with Paul Reiser's character in Aliens, which is a movie that's heavily inspired ST since the beginning.

Yeah, Owens would rather not hurt people if he doesn't have to, especially if he's not even getting any results out of it. But even still, I think Owens would choose to exploit anyone if it meant getting the results that he is expected to be getting, in the position that he is in.

In contrast to Owens, what Brenner gets out of it appears to be some weird father/daughter bond, manifested from raising El in the lab, which was also manifested by Brenner's weird familial bond with Henry as well.

Notice how Owens refers to Brenner as Martin, like, twice...? He even refers to them as an us? These dudes are colleagues, they are equals. The only difference is Brenner has this weird familial lens guiding his actions, whereas Owens actions are all keeping the goals for their cause in mind. And what even is their cause exactly?

We basically get Owens revealing that Brenner convinced him this was the ONLY way they could do this. Which means there were arguably other options, though this was the plan they went with because Brenner insisted it would work, and now they're having to stick to it.

El was a unique case compared to all the other kids presumably, who were brought there at some point in their childhood. From what I recall, Kali (008) for example, was discovered in London, then abducted and brought to Hawkins lab at a young age, but not infancy. Even in her case, she managed to escape Hawkins Lab before the massacre. And so, it's not like every scenario has to look identical El's in order for it to work, though in Will's case, it would definitely need to be explained in a way that fits with what they've told us so far. Which I agree, would be hard to do.

My guess as of now, is that they came across Will's powers via him being able to predict things with his drawings (rainbowshipgate), and that might have inspired part of Hawkins Labs efforts in the year 79. That scene with Ten and Brenner drawing felt very much like this was their first time doing this, and so it must have been a recent disovery at the time?... Hawkins lab wasn't always like that, even when El was a kid growing up there, like SUPER young, it was a little bit different than the numbers 1-19, shaved head, nightgown 24/7 vibes. That version of Hawkins lab required them gradually getting to that point over the last decade, making discoveries as they went. As far as I could tell, they used to be kind of accepting of letting families in there back in the day, because they came off as more lenient in those times, before they cracked down and started being a lot more secretive, resorting to covering things up almost entirely.

Although I think it's likely they're unaware Will made the upside down itself (if he even did), they know something... There's something about this scene with Brenner and Owens in particular, that's just so downright suspicious, to the point where I don't understand why it's not talked about more.

This scene is from 4x07, right after Owens bitched Brenner out for not getting them any results. And so, what is being alluded to here, is that EVERYTHING we saw in 4x07, essentially what was presumably being presented to us as the real truth, after 6 episodes of us watching everything from El's confused POV, isn't even the whole truth???

Also, notice the tapes. Brenner takes the tape labeled with the day of the massacre, Sept 8th, 1979. However, the shot makes a point to show him almost hesitating. We see like 4 tapes from the month of August, and like 7 tapes already for the month of September, with no more tapes to follow after the 8th (obvs bc the massacre). Apparently it was a busy September. What I find weird is that there were two tapes for the day before the massacre, Sept. 7th, 1979.? There's nothing else I find too suspicious about this shot, besides that, and so I am curious about what this could possibly mean.

"How much time did you skip?"

Why not let the audience see what was skipped? It's almost like whatever they skipped over would be a major spoiler to us? And combined with everything else, I would not be surprised if whatever they didn't let us see had something to do with Twelve aka Will...

I understand your doubt with this theory, because I too struggle with figuring out how exactly it would overlap with our understanding of the story and the presumed timeline that's been presented to us thus far.

However, again, I think that there has to be small details in the story, which are essential to un-cracking this, even despite what the overarching narrative has been leading us to believe and assume up to this point. I also think it requires us being misinformed about some things, because otherwise it would be too easy to figure everything out. I mean look at us rn? They don't want people getting too close to the truth and so they need those barriers in the way stopping people from getting to close to the surprise. They literally depend on us assuming they are stupid to achieve all of this.

And even still, the Duffer's themselves have said that the final season will circle back to s1 to answer things that were never answered, along with David saying there's easter eggs from s1 that will make the ending wonderful, and Noah himself saying the show started with Will and will end with Will... And so, there's gotta be something here.

And honestly, upon some casual rewatching since coming across twelvegate, I've noticed a lot of details that connect Will to Hawkins Lab...

One in particular, is the fact that it's established within the first 5 minutes of the series, that Will lives near Hawkins Lab:

So there are arguably places for this theory to build off of, which already exist in the show...

One explanation in particular that I've seen a lot of fans use as a possibility to explain all of this, is Lonnie.

In s1 he showed up after Will's body was recovered, and he made a remark about how Sattler Quarry had no warning signs around it, and that they should be held accountable. Joyce grew suspicious of his behavior and went through his stuff, discovering that Lonnie only came to sue Sattler to receive a big sum of money.

And so within the context of the show, right off the bat, they are saying that not only did Lonnie make homophobic remarks about Will, treat Joyce like she was crazy, but he also apparently only came back after Will was dead, so that he could get a bunch of money out of it...?

There's been theories about this for years, but this could fit into Will, and now even Henry potentially, being brought to the lab, on the front that it would be treatment for conversion therapy.

The parallels between Will and Henry could be entirely related to the upside down/powers, but I just think the wording of those parallels between them, being tied mostly to Will's queer-coding, makes me very skeptical there's nothing more to it?

And like I said, Hawkins Lab was looking for any excuse to not only find kids with natural powers, but to also exploit anyone that posed as an opportunity to them.

Terry Ives for example, wasn't one of the numbered kids in Hawkins Lab, but she was still involved with others who literally volunteered there, and were put on experimental drugs (also another way Lonnie could have been involved with the Lab), which led to El being abducted with the guise that she died during a miscarriage.

People forget that mind control is Hawkins Labs' specialty. And that they used it for more than just studies and experimentation...

The lab did everything they could to cover up what's happened over the years, when it came to El and Terry especially from what we saw. And so, why wouldn't this apply to other kids?

I remember in s2 when Brenner got replaced, Owens said the everyone involved with the lab previously, was gone, with him insisting he was one of the good ones, practically begging Joyce (and Hopper) to trust him... And yet not even a few episodes later he was telling Jonathan and Nancy that he would stop at nothing to keep the truth from spreading... Nothing.

Which then brings us to the most complex of it all. Memories.

I think that it's possible that memory stealing could be a thing that spans multiple characters, and with an organization that specializes in mind control, with us literally seeing that play with Terry Ives in earlier seasons, and also with El's repressed memories in s4 (with the lab having tapes to bring back those memories), I'm gonna presume it's not out of the realm of possibility that there's more to all of this.

Not saying that it's going to be memory stealing in the most generic way possible. Same with the whole time travel debacle. I don't think how we understand these concepts, based on what we've seen in other media, is going to apply exactly in every shape/form for ST. I think it's going to be a lot more complex and have to fit somehow into our understanding of things in this universe already. Do I think it will be easy? No. But the Duffers have surprised me before so I do think that they are capable of doing it again.

And even still, I only feel comfortable speculating about this, in the cases of the kids and the parents, aka Terry and El, Will (Jonathan?) and Joyce, Hopper and Sarah...

And that's about where my theory starts to get kind of stupid.

If you remember, there was a theory way back in s2, that El, Will and Sarah could have all possibly been connected to Hawkins lab. And it's because they all 3 had similar stuffed animals.

Hopper is also shown to be at Hawkins lab in his flashbacks around the time of his daughter's death in 78 (1 year before the massacre). We also get a parallel shot of this, with Sam Owens in s2 (s/out Sam Owens is evil truthers)

BONUS: Shot of El in s4, in this same staircase in the flashbacks of the lab massacre in 79.

Back in the day, there were theories Sarah's death could've been a cover up, and that perhaps she was targeted by the lab similar to other test subjects. It just so happened that for whatever reason, her case ended differently than the others? Or so we think...?

Now you might be wondering, what could have possibly connected Hopper to Hawkins Lab?

Vietnam.

This is another avenue I could totally see Hawkins Lab recruiting test subjects. I mean, it's not like it's one of the most well known tropes in comic books for a person whose encountered radiation to gain super powers or anything...

I also find it interesting that Hopper’s daughter died of cancer, after having an episode quite similar to Will's, which lead her to losing all her hair. And this happened at Hawkins lab (what we can presume based on the setting), a little bit before the labs whole weird shaved head, crayon drawing renovation..?.

Interesting...

In all honesty, Hopper himself has been keeping secrets. This is something that David Harbour has alluded to since s2, when there were boxes from Hoppers cabin shown, with the one El went through literally being labeled Hawkins Lab.

Not to mention, s4 finally explored and introduced to us how Vietnam affected him and his family, sort of building up this storyline, with flashbacks of Sarah, which we’ve been seeing for like season upon season now? They really like showing us these flashbacks with Sarah for some reason… and I can’t help but feel like that storyline isn’t over. So considering some of the evidence, it feels like there could be something going on there.

Not to mention, at the end of s1, we get this moment where Hopper goes in a government vehicle and what happened is only really alluded to. But why not let us see what they talked about?

It does beg to question, that if a lab managed to convince Hopper his daughter died of cancer... Anything is possible.

I also think Joyce being referred to as crazy/out of her mind by herself, Lonnie, Jonathan and like everyone in town in s1, does make me intrigued by the prospects of s2 sort of covering up whatever facts they gave to us back then, bc like.. idk. There's room there for something to have happened I guess. Like the fact that she even felt an urge to check to see what Lonnie was up to, and found out he was trying to get a bunch of money out of Will's death? Like, was history repeating?

I also love that you mentioned the crayons for Will's birthday, because I actually came across Twelvegate when I was reading about another theory, Rainbowshipgate.

If you haven't read it, RUN!

Basically what it boils down to is how the story about Will getting crayons on his eighth birthday, using those crayons to draw a rainbow spaceship, which Joyce then hung up at Melvald's, even going as far as to apparently show it to every person that came in, saying her son drew it... could have been a hint that connects Will to Hawkins Lab.

In fact, this is something several casual fans have observed and talked about on reddit since s2, comments about how ironic it was that Will drew a rainbow spaceship, when we all know there's another major significance to rainbows in the show, ie the rainbow room at Hawkins Lab...

So it's like, are these the easter eggs David was talking about, or??..

I shit you not, reading everything I could about rainbowshipgate, I got curious and decided to rewatch the Hawkins lab scenes from s4.

I was thinking like, hypothetically, if rainbowshipgate was on track in some way? Couldn't Will be a lab kid?

And so I literally went into rewatching those scenes, looking for a lab kid that could be Will-coded. And I was not disappointed. There Twelve was, giving off major Will Byers vibes, and that's when everything sort of clicked for me and I started posting about it.

Also, for those that don't know, there were theories back in the s3 era at least, where fans were already speculating that Will could be Twelve... Though those same theorists haven't returned to update their observations for s4 (meaning all their evidence predates s4 evidence).

However, what I now personally am leaning towards, is that they are connected.

Because if Will's birthday is March 22nd, then it's possible that anytime throughout that year, someone from Hawkins Lab could have stumbled into Melvald's, observed the drawing, and told other higher ups at the lab about it. Upon a little bit of digging, they discovered this kid lived right in their back fucking yard?? I would not be surprised what lengths they would go through to get that kid. Like come on man, that's too easy!

That's another thing, the Byers' home being like right next to Hawkins Lab is just weird in and of itself? So that could be an easy explanation for how Will attended the lab. It would have likely required it being a secret between Lonnie and maybe Jonathan who found out and had to stay quiet. It also could have played a role in their divorce? Who knows. I do think that they're consistent mention of Will's sexuality/queer-coding as the main topic to come up whenever they talk about Lonnie is really suspect. But that's just a theory for now.

Personally, despite all the evidence, because there is quite a lot, I'm still not entirely confident in regards to all this.

It does make me feel more intrigued by other theories though, like birthdaygate and will having powers. I am like 99% confident in those theories, and so there is this element of appeal in that I feel like stuff we've already speculated about in the fandom before, fits quite nicely into twelvegate.

What I'm honestly excited for is ST5 promotion to start rolling out. As early as production starts, we should start getting some crumbs, and it will only grow exponentially from there!

And that's when all us theorists will have more to work with. Because they'll definitely leave easter eggs and hidden messages within the major promotion they drop. And this time a lot of us will actually be paying attention!! Whatever they leave here and there could have the potential to prove/disapprove theories we've been compiling for months before all of this.

Thank you for the ask!! And sorry again for the delay!

#byler #stranger things #twelvegate #will byers #will byers has powers #will byers theory #stranger things theory #stranger things meta #stranger things 5 #st5 predictions #this is me just spitballing here more than anything...#AGAIN if anyone can manage to transcribe that part of the news report on the night of wills body being found PLEASE IM BEGGING HELP

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alfgifu · 7 days ago

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Fic analysis 38. Ain’t no sunshine (when he’s gone)

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/51790435/chapters/130935382

Word count: 45,636

Chapters: 11

First posted: 23rd November 2023

Last chapter up: 18th February 2024

Summary:

The Emperor of five worlds lay spread across his bed, above it, his hands gripping the ropes that supported his wrists, trying to keep his weight up – trying not to make a noise.

---

One night and one day, he reminded himself. That was all the time he needed to buy them. A night and a day needed to prepare Damara, and another night uninterrupted together to transfer the anchor of Schooled Magic, and then - the restoration of Astandalas. Glory. Triumph. Absolute power.

But to get there, he would have to imitate this man's perversions for a full twenty four hours.

How and why this came about

Ain’t no sunshine started with a single chapter shared by a friend in a discord chat. That chapter (chapter 6, Dethroned) presented such a vivid, dramatic, and glorious scenario that the group dissolved into discussions around the whys, hows and wherefores - and what would happen next.

Parts of the fic were written in the chat, much of it was plotted and discussed there, and then it was written out in more detail in various gdocs.

The story is set several years after the evil!household works that had already been shared, after several other incidents that had been discussed but not written up, or not yet published. I wrote the first couple of chapters and posted them in November because there was some daft thing going around about sharing extreme smut in time for Thanksgiving so that people would have to hide what they were reading at family dinners.

This was another true joint project that came together more slowly, with a bit of a break in the middle, and while big chunks of livefic were there from quite early on it wasn’t finished and all ready for posting for another couple of months.

This is easily the most deranged thing I’ve ever worked on and I love it dearly.

What worked and what didn’t

The first couple of chapters were my first attempt at full-on BDSM and I am still very pleased with how they worked out. Across the story as a whole there’s a farcical element to the plot, a full on drama queen element, and a vicious knife-edged humour that winds through the heart of it. There’s also grief, pain, trauma, and ultimately tragedy borne out of the strengths as well as the weaknesses of the characters. And a whole lot of fucking.

I’m pleased with how the different perspectives worked, honoured once more to have been able to work with such skilled authors, and glad that the undercurrent of horror that winds through all the evil!household stories came through so effectively.

It was a privilege to collaborate on and a delight to see through.

This fic also saw the debut of a couple of immortal characters - the unscrupulous Lady Magus Vedia, with her dossier, and the despicable minor noble Chad (Tchadinius IV).

What I learned from writing it

This collaboration was more complicated than others had been. It’s a chunky fic and a weird one, and it was a busy time for several of the authors. It brought home to me how much of a commitment a big fic can be.

It also showed how much you can do by just leaning into the weird and throwing in every element that every author loves. I don’t know if it should work, but - at least for me - it very much does. It’s a joy to re-read.

It has, as I write this, 35 kudos and is 6th from the bottom of my fics when ranked by kudos. And it has 2,074 hits and is 6th from the top when ranked by hits. It has found, one might say, a readership.

(A good part of that kudos/hits discrepancy can probably be chalked up to all the kinky tags, tbh.)

#fic analysis #my fic #hands of the emperor #nine worlds #cliopher mdang #artorin damara #evil!household

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wholemleko · 10 months ago

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updates ig???

(reposted from my deviantart)

so i guess this is like. my plans for the future or at least where i feel like im at when it comes to comics and such.

tl;dr - bird of death is my main project now and everything else is in uncertain limbo

details under the cut:

first thing is just, the state of my projects. bird of death, which im posting now, has completely taken over my brain and its something i enjoy working on much more because its part of a bigger project that im working on with a group of 6 other people and ultimately i think art is a social thing for me. at this point ive also got a 115+ page buffer which ive never even come close to before, so i feel very much at ease about being able to put it out into the world without the months long hiatuses ive gone on with my other comics. plus, it has elements in it that are largely influenced by ideas from my previous projects which i guess leads me to my next point...

which is that im growing burnt out of my older comics. i had for a long time. i occasionally experience moments where i really love my old stories again and give myself the impression that im ready to get back into them, but then it always ends up being temporary and fizzling out again just a week or so later. like venturing. i spent years working on it and theres so much left of the story for me to tell, things that i am still excited to show. but at the same time, its a story i started when i was 16 and i guess this happens to a lot of creators, but my writing style is so different now and when i look back at it i cringe. theres also the factor that felix is almost like an undercooked version of my protagonist in bird of death (for reasons that have only vaguely been revealed). so when i think about writing his story it just feels like. he's the same guy but more poorly put together by a younger me.

this same thing goes for another comic project that ive never shared publicly but which ive been working on for just as long as ive been working on venturing. its actually the story im using for my final project for my degree lmao. the characters in it that im most invested in feel like early drafts for characters from bird of death... the catharsis of writing them has moved to this new story. my old projects just feel like early drafts of this new one but wearing different clothes. they are all born of the same train of thought.

then theres the matter of my fancomics. children of decay is so early on and undercooked that i barely have anything to say about it except that i still love the idea of having a warriors comic, but man i am just not invested in it the way i am with bird of death. (also the fact their titles are so similar... feels silly lol).

my moomin fancomics are a whole other matter... im not the writer for them, and theres still a ton of content that i wanted to cover. im still only in the first chapter of blackthorn tree, and i wanted to adapt 4 more fics afterwards. they are stories that i love, and which continue to be very dear to me, but the inspiration that gave me is, again, now being channeled into my newest project. i guess that makes sense, given that my protagonist was originally made to be a moomin oc. ive also felt increasingly disconnected from the moomin fandom, not because i like the series itself any less, but the fandom landscape is just very different from what it was. another factor is that i did actually have the rest of chapter 1 almost finished, but i lost all those files when my old ipad got fried and this really bummed me out, just a further discouragement.

putting all these things on the backburner feels bad. i dont like saying that i dont know when or even if i will come back to certain projects. i know lots of people enjoyed what i was making, especially venturing and the moomin comics. but i just cant find it in myself to commit to them again now that this new project has pretty much overtaken me, and i dont know if that commitment will ever come back. this isnt to say that i am putting an end to any of them or that im quitting them. just that they are not the thing i am committed to, and i am putting them into uncertain limbo. it feels smarter to concentrate my energy on a project i am much more devoted to now, which is very developed, and which i am making alongside other people who are also very devoted to the greater project.

if u got this far thanks for reading, and thanks to all those who've supported me over the years in my creative endeavors

#mlekoposting

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catgirlforeskin · 2 years ago

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I feel like you saying that transfems somehow experience this godly level of oppression that trans men won't ever understand is really ignorant and childish in the face of the very real experiences we have? Like.

I didn't end up in online sex work where I was taken advantage of and praised specifically for being transmasc for u to say that. People specifically used me and my trans body as a way to alleviate their guilt for sexually abusing a 14 year old because I wasn't a girl (but not a boy because that makes me too human, acknowledging what i actually am, that I'm anything more than a goddamn fuckdoll.) They fetishized me for being a subhuman tranny and they convinced me that it was totally kinky and cute to call me transphobic slurs during e-sex and blackmail me into telling them my deadname. I've sat through degrading comments from family members asking about my reproductive system with the invasiveness of a doctor and Ive been harrassed by every member of my family about the "irreversible damage" and I've watched the biggest fucking public figures talk about me like I'm a baby and tear away my transition opportunities one by one.

I'm fat and disabled and I'm in constant fucking pain but doctors haven't taken me seriously, and it was even less so when I came out. I have not gone through this fucking hell for you to be a whiny shitass. You are a goddamned adult, act like one.

I like your blog, I think you're funny and I'm sure we'd get along great irl but this is not the shit and you need to cut it out. You need to realize that hurting your trans brothers like this gets you nowhere. Trans people need each other.

I need you to realize how triggering it is for a trans man to read your blog and see the stuff you say about us. it is dehumanizing and gross and you're contributing to transphobia, whether or not you like it.

I enjoy how all your jabs on me are done in the most paternalistic way possible, was your transition goal “shitty dad”?

Not really sure what sparked this, feel like I haven’t talked about transphobia at all in a while on here, and when I have never once said trans men don’t experience transphobia, I’m genuinely sorry those things happened to you, though it’s also weird for you to drop all that in my inbox. I’d rather not strangers tell me in intimate detail everything bad they’ve ever experienced, including sexual violence, for the sake of an argument, y’know?

Is this because I’ve spoken out about transmisandry and its variants not being terms people should use, and those posts are circulating again or somethin? I’m more confused than anything

#asks

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poryphoria · 1 year ago

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RANDOM QUESTION OUT OF THA BLUE BUT!!! I've been thinking about what various madcom characters' fursonas would be bc i do that with all my hyperfixations and im v curious what animals youd assign them,, (especially crackpo n phoobert bc ur takes on both of them are delightful !!

OHH!!! I REMEMBER U SENDING ME A REQ ABT THIS AND I NEVER GOT TO IT BUT I REALLY REALLY WANTED TO SO IM ABSOLUTELY AT LEAST GONNA GIVE YOU AN ESSAY ABOUT IT

see the thing about this question i LOVE is that you can answer it two ways: "what the characters would say their fursona is" and "what God and everyone else knows their fursona is". "jerma you'd be a rat" vs "lion wolf hybrid king of the junjle". you get me?

we'll start with what they'd make up as fursonas- i think phobos would try to be as realistic as possible n choose a deathstalker scorpion, nd make VERY clear to specify that he has remarkably small claws (so you know how potent his venom is!!!) [scorpion venom is relative to the claw size- smaller claws = more potent venom, as they have less need to hold down their prey!]. tbf he'd probably literally just base it off one of his owned scorpions- no fancy bits n baubles attached, although he would also design UV markings [scorpions, along with many other animals glow under UV light!] for himself so the design isn't necessarily bland or lacking.

crackpot would be the complete opposite, however- he'd be too indecisive with which bird species he likes best that he'd just give up n make an every-hybrid of some manner (tho it WOULD look most similar to a vulture, i think!). he'd literally make a sparklebird. rainbow feathers, scene getup, FUCK YOU let him have fun for once in his miserable life!!! realistically unlike phobos, who cannot ever take the stick out of his ass for 2 seconds to indulge in a little whimsy, i think crackpot probably had a fursona at some point (he just kinda stopped having time to think about it after The Occurrences. you get it!)

now. as for what god and everyone else would assign them....... actually a little tougher. bc a scorpion still feels right for phobos, symbolically- the ole fable about the scorpion and the frog, y'know? DAMMIT, PHOBOS. YOU WIN THIS TIME! but maybe he'd be a species with weaker venom. Just cause. (i could be really extra mean and say pseudoscorpion but cmon man.)

crackpot on the other hand.... ive gone into such meticulous detail about the kinds of bird he could be, but the funniest part is i don't think God would let him be a bird at all. birds are something he takes great comfort in, something he wants to be-- but he's a pretender, he's always worn a mask his whole life, always wished he could be somebody else. he'd be something that exhibits batesian mimicry [batesian mimicry is when one harmless species mimics another, more threatening species]-- i think he'd be a hoverfly, a type of fly that mimics bees! alternatively he could be a salamander but i don't have cool symbolism reasons for that i just think it's right.

TLDR;

if we're talking "jerma you'd be a rat" phobos could be a scorpion or pseudoscorpion and crackpot would either be a hoverfly or salamander, if we're talking "lion wolf hybrid king of the junjle" phobos would be an ostensibly cooler scorpion & crackpot would be some kinda sparklebird.

TY FOR GIVING ME AN EXCUSE TO WRITE AN ESSAY!!!! i love prompts like this so so much plsplspls don't hesitate to send me three hundred asks of this nature I LOVE FEELING LIKE A GREEK PHILOSOPHER

#it said something #pory turgles #pory writes an essay in response to an ask...AGAIN!

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snow-and-saltea · 1 year ago

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i dont know how to word this well but hopefully my point gets across. as ive gone through lots of manga/hwa/huas for the past few years, there's been a lot less hate for fat female characters, and when the author portrays negative traits in them, the comments are always up in arms to defend said character or point out that it was unnecessary and was adding onto a distasteful image of associating fat people = evil in media. that's good!

but i've realised that there's not as much defense or uproar when it's a fat male character? you know the one. they'll be drawn comically fat with tiny features to show that even the author thinks this character is a waste of time to put effort into giving them a design full of character details and an actual Story. they might even be bald in some cases to drive home the "lecherous old man preying on the helpless" image. they'll be bumbling, incompetent, the most inarticulate bastard in the story, and the author wants you to KNOW it. look at this guy. he's obviously meant to be hated. look how pathetic he is and how he pales in comparison with our hero, who is charming, pure snow-white in morality, Has Never Done Anything Wrong Ever.

the trouble is, unlike female fat characters that are often used as a sort of cynical, pessimistic evil whose entire identity is to prove that "sometimes you're ugly both inside and out", that isn't the case for fat male characters. in a way, fat female characters have a "way out", so to speak, because there IS a probable cause that's snowballed the problem until its become a mountain; particularly, the cord that binds how they're expected to perform in society (gender roles, sexism, internalised misogyny) and how they feel they aren't able to escape scrutiny anyways for being ugly, even if they're good. so why not go all the way? what's the use in being halfheartedly acknowledged for who you try to be, when you could be the worst version of yourself, and at least THEN they'll finally look at you proper? so a lot of fat female characters who turn evil are often in this line of thought, i think. despite how much they're trying to break free from the preconceived notions of what people want them to be, it still clashes with their innate desire to be seen, accepted, and loved by other people. so the answer to "redeem" them? simple. accept them. that's enough to write a satisfactory redemption arc to turn them "good" again.

but fat male characters... i've noticed that they're written with crimes much heavier and much more serious than their female counterparts. their appearance is never purely for the sake of psychological friction (stirring the pot, instigating distrust) in the story. we see them drawn with disgusting lustful expressions to show that they haven't moved past primitive desires (they're worse than children—they're children with an adult's ability to get what they want), touching people inappropriately, their minds always turning to the worst possible scenario, their dialogue always written with an undercurrent of narcissism, like the river of his own life was completely empty save for his own self-admiration. is that really all there is to them? how did they manage to get this far in life without ever experiencing or being convinced — or tried to be convinced — to change? has he, in all his years of living, never experienced a shred of empathy for others? has he never felt touched by the connection of another human being?

and then at the end of the story i know it was useless to ask these questions — he only existed as a plot device, as an antagonist for the final climax and resolution, the dragon to be slayed.

but he's not a dragon. he's a human, and despite his current problematic views on life or people, i'd like to try and imagine what it's like to "redeem" him.

but almost always, there IS no way. the author has cut off every possible escape route for him. he was always evil. he can't be helped. he can't change. he was always going to do this, so there's no point in imagining a world where he didn't.

but like. why? why do fat female characters get to be redeemed with the power of Love and Friendship but not him? why is it not enough for him to be bad, he must also be dangerous beyond recourse?

i don't really know the answer to this question, since i'm AFAB and i don't have insight on the matter beyond my own speculations. but the only thing i know is that it leaves a bitter taste in my mouth when i see him being toppled over as the final Evil, and everyone cheering in the comments with "i've always found him sus" "finally you disgusting pig" "i hope he never shows up ever again"

i have to say, i don't like the idea, especially in fiction, that people are irredeemable and unworthy of compassion. of course this isn't a plea to forgive them or to get them out of fictional jail or whatever, but i'd at least like to entertain the thought that i want to know the entirety of a person's character before writing them off, and you can do that in stories. i can't do that in real life. i would kill myself trying. sometimes people just hurt you and you have to accept that they hurt you to give yourself express permission to protect yourself.

but in fiction... are you really telling me that a world with dragons can exist but not the possibility of change for a character whose fate was set in stone the moment their shape was carved into existence?

#yuu rambles #idk idk idk. ive had a lot of thoughts about this for a while #btw anyone who interacts w this dont fuckin come at me with the all men are evil garbage #its prolly only gonna be seen by friends who follow me but just in case i wanna put it out there #i dont believe all men are evil though i do think theyre raised and incentivized to nurture traits that are #convenient for being evil effectively. but its taught not inborn meaning anyone can decide to change what they dont like #about themselves. its called accidents of birth bc we dont have a say in how we're born in what appearance in what environment #but as you grow up you do owe yourself the opportunity to be someone you're proud of #and to be honourable both in character and action #anyways. ANYWAYS!!!!!!!#idk man im just rambling. also there might be processing some Shit in here tehepero #u know how it be!!!!#i fuckin FORGOR to trigger tag this im sorry!!!#tw fatphobia

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juggalogojackerbox · 1 year ago

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Why have you chosen to design onycraft in the way he is, i mean, iv never seen anybody draw anything the way this man is shaped

Oh sweet, first ask on this blog! And a really good one too if I do say so myself Anon

Anyway this is actually uh... harder for me to answer than I thought it would be, Onycraft's design has changed a lot over the years- with some changes being more drastic than others (He is at least 11 years old after all) so its hard to explain "like a normal person" why he. looks like that

He started off relatively "normal" then just, a million different cumulative changes that showed up as I wanted them to (consciously or not) that progressively made him uglier and uglier as time has gone on (i say this in the most loving way I swear)

Sometimes It was just little things that happened over time or things I thought would look nice (like me adding more markings and stuff) or it's related to me directly (giving him a cartoonishly exaggerated version of my body shape or the fact that i own the exact same jacket irl that he wears, etc) or just me progressively making his anatomy worse or overly specific because its fun to me (the fact he has exactly 22 teeth, his hands reaching down to his knees, the whole conjoined twin thing etc) or hell even some details I only render in specific styles when i feel like it (the details in his ear, little buds of hair on him here and there, etc etc) or anything else about him that I didn't know how to include here, I could keep going for a long while probably but thats a tangent for a different post and different time, point im trying to make is hes a big ol mess of all sorts of sources of little design quirks and silly things that I cant always really point to one specific source for where it all comes from

I hold a lot of love for "unorthodox" character designs and i hold a lot of love for Onycraft and so naturally the two combining is like a car bomb of autism going off, also because I think his design is very fun and I love it so much and I like adding things to him haphazardly but with love and earnest regardless like a little kid working on a third grade art project

(I apologize for this being so long by the way, it's 100% to be expected from me talking about Ony at all ever but im still sorry LOL)

#not sludge art #oc onycraft shandrus #<-(since i mean- this is a post about him)#(i also apologize if this isnt exactly the most coherent it is past midnight in my timezone and im also not entirely lucid at the moment)

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digirainebow · 1 year ago

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The only problem with timezones is I want to talk to the cool people but I get so tired and start talking absolute nonsense (like I'm doing rn) but anyways who's your favourite oxenfree character?

i am a connoisseur of talking nonsense so dont you worry. and oooo this is the most enigmatic question of all time for me. it shifts from moment to moment. i have tried many times to declare a favorite and it never really feels right because i love and think about them all about the same. i usually say clarissa is my favorite because she is the one i connected with first. i loved her from the moment i met her on my very first playthrough, and she has continued to be something i return to in low moments because she is symbolic of something very valuable to me when it comes to dealing with anger. but as i said in The Oxenfree Playthrough Video™, jonas is realistically more my favorite because gets the most reaction out of me. he's a blorbo, a scrunkly, whatever. evokes a lot of those feral stick figure memes with the blood. he is just suuuuch a little guy to me and so funny and so sweet and just like me for real. also more of the dealing with anger thing. that's a big plus for me always but in this moment? right now? i kinda wanna say? its ren? i do say quite often that i actually think about him maybe more than any of the other characters, i just usually dont vocalize it because i am often worried im embellishing and taking liberties with his intended character. and the thoughts can get very complicated for personal reasons that i wont get into and because it took a long time to get to this place with him as a character compared to the others. he was my least favorite by far when i first played. but i just cannot help myself but infer from his dialogue now that ive played like 80 times and picked all the options that there is just so much more to him than could ever have fit into the game. ren is cup fucking overflowing like there is so much of his emotional issues bursting out of the seams through the whole game and i am just so endeared to him and his thoughts and motivations. he is also just a little guy to me who is funny of course, but he isnt a little guy in the comfy, brotherly, jonas way. he is a poor little wet cat of a man to me with the most adhd a person can have. i want to know about his past and his future almost more than anyone else because, and it is wild, for how much ren talks and overshares, we really don't know a lot about his life before the island. we know like, ALL of the details, but none of the core. he "needs to be needed" and has a therapist and needed a baby sitter until he was 14 and we will just...never know the core of why! how much did michael's death hurt him? we know how it affected alex, and clarissa, and even jonas by proxy! but even if he wasn't friends with michael, he still grew up with him. and knowing how close he was to alex...y'know? and we just never really...find out a lot there. and somehow that absence of knowledge speaks more to me about his character than any direct info ever would? he cannot help but be kind of a damaged little dude who spews his needs and fears at the drop of a hat, but i don't think he likes being that way. he wants and likes to be jokey and deflective and just have a good fucking time. and i both feel bad for him because of that and understand completely? even if he himself has not gone through something traumatic, everyone around him has. so why wouldn't he just want to make a space where they can all just have fun? sorry he just makes me insane. anyway. yeah, ren right now. i think. clarissa or jonas usually. probably alex tomorrow. i will shut up now because i should, not because i don't have more to say. i will always have more to say about these characters. man

#im publishing this one sorry if its out of context followers but #hey here are the fav character thoughts i could not vocalize for the life of me in that damn video sdfsdfdfgjhhjfd #digi discusses #ive been feeling very paragraphs lately huh! :)#oxenfree spoilers #a few weeks ago was a BIG nona week. when i posted her whole firestarter monologue? yeah

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batteredwarriorstillstanding · 1 year ago

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Yo, I don't know what to do, either. But, cue the broken record, I haven't (really) seen you since 2005, I believe. Can I accomplish that, at least? Anyway, I happened upon a question you posed that wondered if certain people are destined, at birth, to give far more love than they receive...After quickly identifying myself as a likely example of this assumed group, I realized that I can actually answer this question....and, there's good news and bad. Yes, my approach to love and relationships creates a pattern whereby, yes, not only will I fall we short of most humans statistics in the field of "time spent in a relationship(s), during which, after establishing and continuously improving upon, some kind of positive connection, neurotransmitters light the mind and spirit causing the participants of these to resemble someone connected to a Peruvian Flake IV. Sure, they'll experience intermittent heartache when these connections prove themselves either false, insufficient, or become outdated...but starting the process anew is infinitely easier for most than myself. NOT. ONLY. THAT. Your second assumption, that we give away a great deal of "unrequited love" is not only correct, but insufficient. I actually have gone through life since middle school never being willing (or able) to seriously date more than 2 people known by me...very often, the number is 1. Because, to use your verbiage, I operate by "vibe." I am affected very little by what I observe in others' actions...and even less by their conversational verbiage and subject matter. I can't list a "criteria" of preferred traits because I have, at one time or another, been taken by nearly the entire gamut...in short, it doesn't seem to make a difference. My invisible switch, if you will, is either flipped, or it's not. This may sound insane, but truthfully, how often, after getting to know a man well, has his actual character at all resembled the full body costume he sported during the first few months of your relationship? How much help did asking all sorts of questions and learning his daily routine end up providing? Anyway, yes, I have spent much time longing and precious little actually getting where I wanted with the "responders" lol....strangely enough, while the intuitive process did a decent job predicting who I could love. Love and compatability are two very different things. I had plenty of love free sex during my youth, but eventually dismissed it as something, more often than not, nowhere near worth the trouble....certain people and situations are exceptions, of course. I know you are skeptical of this tale (would introducing you to people who heard me tell it in 2002 make a difference?) Anyway, I'll skip the details, but the aforementioned "switch" was not simply flipped but blown to pieces in a violent explosion by you. Need I mention..this is not a conscious choice on my part (the method described) While I definitely, again, would very much appreciate and be forever grateful for the chance to see and speak to you....I don't think that, unless you had a similar reaction to me as I did to you, or developed feelings in spite of absence, it likely will not ever be something you would be willing to attempt to make work (I go all out) But, that was always, obviously, an acknowledged possibility....you do not need to be afraid of me, no matter what your feelings are or aren't. There are a million blanks that I could fill in if you ever become interested in hearing me do so....but, to clarify, when I, for example, refuse to date you in the midst of a poly nest....there is acreason for this that is not entirely selfish. Love you. May the next fuckin' thing I read of your's be a Starbucks address?

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xx-neon · 1 year ago

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july 4th

hi again.

i was planning on writing more. the whole point of this was to get my feelings out everyday to cope but its been awhile.

again, if youre not me reading this. good luck.

so my ex broke up with me right? so much happened that i didnt know about. im tired of talking about it really since its been such a hot topic (my ex and i work together too and share a lot of the same friends) thats the cherry on top lol.

he has a new girlfriend. they started dating the day he left.

ouch.

another ouch?

im her manager at work

looking at it now. this is all one giant hilarious cluster fuck LOL.

im not going to go into details of the messy stuff since its a dead horse at this point.

do i seem happier?

i actually tried killing myself.

not because of him though. hes a loser with nothing going for him so that would be a waste. i did it because of all the emotions after what happened. i didnt have enough time to find somewhere to live. i couldnt bring my cat with me if i moved with my parents far away. i felt like the whole world was against me and i didnt do anything to deserve it. and it wasnt going to get better. i talked about being in a hole and trying to climb out in my last post. this hole extended 1000 ft in the ground and there was no sign of light. i had no sign of light in me. i didnt eat for a week. i drank everyday. i couldnt sleep. why me? what did i do wrong? is this my karma for being me?

so i really did it.

obviously it didnt work lol. im still here. i spent 6 days in the hospital. one in the ER and 5 in the BHU. i was diagnosed with an eating disorder, major depressive disorder and psychosis. i got help for my drinking too. whoo

this sounds cringy. but i feel reborn. i didnt mention in my last post but i have BPD (boarderline personality disorder). ive been diagnosed for about 10 years. most of those spent unmedicated and out of therapy so i was really rawdogging life LOL. if you know anything about BPD its probably the worst thing to deal with. thankfully im self aware so i havent ruined my life but fuck man everyone else ruins it for me.

im in extensive therapy. im on like what... 4 medications?? and i just feel like life is great. ewwww so cringe LOL. but seriously. it is. i dont think ive ever felt so normal in my life. my anxiety is gone. paranoia is gone. my head feels so light now im not bogged down. idk its just so nice. i smile at work now. i smile when i see my friends that i never knew i had. i just know how great life can be.

but then theres this.

schadenfreude

its a german word for basically feeling happy off of someone elses misery.

thats how i feel towards my ex

i know i know its fucked up. but what he did to me isnt?

i never said i was a good person LOL.

i love i just LOVE hearing about how miserable he looks and how happy i look. i revel in it. i cherish in it. i frolic in a field of flowers in it LOL.

okay. we get it. but seriously. i knew karma would come. thats why i learned to stay silent. yes i did lash out and have a mental breakdown wouldnt we all? but he lost friends over this. people think hes fucked up. that in itself makes me feel better. ya know schadenfreude. i do wish he could be a better person but i dont wish him the best. him feeling like this is good. he’ll learn from it. he’ll learn he cant always get away with being an asshole. karma will continue to come his way and she wont hold back.

ill try to write more now that im happy.

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sallytwo · 11 months ago

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okay here are my full annotations. ive put so much thought into this playlist so it will be long but it means a lot to me. music. lyrics. songs. THE MORAL OF THIS IS THAT I KNOW A LOT OF LYRICALLY RELEVANT SONGS ABOUT PLANE CRASHES.

the first segment (old college try-sister cities) is seasons 1-4. like i said this meticulously organized.

old college try is first because bro. the warning signs have all been bright and garish far too great in number to ignore...

dinosaur act is about the daughter of a pilot who becomes a pilot because of tradition even though the love for it is long gone. until there's an unnamed tragedy and she stops flying.

peter the wild boy has been on this playlist for THREE YEARS -> because. well. literally peter what makes you sad and how in the world did you let it get this bad.

for charles bronson the resigned hopefulness and naivety of this song has always reminded me of early seasons wes. "lie about my age right down to my last day on this earth."

"if my father took his life for the national plan i dont care im not about to stick my grave with an apron and bucket of plans" springfield. ok.

SCHOOLIN' specifically the acoustic version makes me so sad. "broke his shoulder on the library steps sitting round there in the dark just doing nothing or whatever / what do you mean you saw the stars?" reminds me of where no one has gone before. AND. "right above my head a miracle the sun erupt forever / i barely even raised my eyes" is veryyy evolution . mfw the sun

ES he's so dovewing coded. "im frightened more than usual lately / do not translate into one of the boys" . also i learned recently this song is about being nonbinary. no comment.

im skipping forward a few the next are good i just dont have as many detailed commentary on them

romans 10:9 is where we shift to the late season 3 early season 4 issues disorder. "everything looks burned up im too scared to look around / don't feel like going on but come on make a joyful sound"

SCARED. STRAIGHT. is very s4. "its unappealing in someone so young / plantive you're feeling so washed up and you mean it when you say you're done" SHE DIDN'T WANT YOU TO LEAVE MAD!!!!!

sidenote. i know there is veryyyy little wes in s3 and 4 but what little we do get is so depressing and means a lot to me. like you're seeing the seeds of this thing that shows up in journeys end! like being promoted and then seeing the message from his dead dad. final mission. ohhh my miserable thing.

get to heaven is about someone watching the horrific death of a stranger and then going about their day like normal until it catches up with them. just like the horror in the everyday. man :(

SWIM. BY THE GLANDS. IS ONE OF THE MOST WESLEY SONGS EVER. LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!

sleep with a baseball bat. "sienna says you're getting used / but somethings broken in your head and you cant run away when you need to / hey space cadet are you still floating around that rock that you spent so much of your life trying to get away from!!!!!!!!!"

wouldn't mama be proud. is bad. "the question is wouldnt mama be proud / there's a silver lining in the corporate cloud / and that pretty post that you've taken as an NCO" this songgg.

you may be noticing a theme here. volta... got bombs that are falling on my mind... getting used to the noise and light. yearh

missed the boat is a song about distracting yourself from the terrible tragedies and horror of life by going heyyyyyy we dont need to think about that :) everr :)

benediction "put a small x where i lost my way." yeah

SISTER CITIESSSS TIME. ive said before i think that after all the terrible things that happen in early seasons getting away from that and going to the academy and having normal friends was good for wes. and then. wellll. anyway you guys already know my friend sister cities but specifically "this fiend has no family / so he will outlive you and me." is such. a traveler line :/

birthday. this one used to be way later on the playlist. "you drive to san francisco on the morning of your birthday / and things are getting better in the worst of ways." hey also do you ever think about the fact that wes probably never lived on an actual. planet. in a normal town. until the academy. cuz i certainly do

the crows of emmerich.. ohhhhh. well.

we're not explaining archive im done explaining archive. if you've read this far you get the secret knowledge that in april 2021 i made a wesley pmv to this song.

blackest sky. we're firmly in nova squadron territory here. the entire song fits fantastically but specifically "my youth was stolen from underneath my nose / bodies were broken under all those clothes".

PENSACOLA. I ALWAYS FORGET HOW WELL THIS SONG FITS. another nova squadron song i would go listen to this one in full.

florencia tropicana. plane crash song baby.

void "i just want honesty i dont need much of anything else / tell me what you want me to be and i wont be anything less / its easier for me embracing my conformity and in all honesty there's nothing really underneath. ohohoho.

MY KZ UR BF. is about an explosion tearing through an apartment and killing the narrators boyfriend. "think our secrets out / i try to explain, but then munitions rain and we're the epicenter" "are you guys together honey? oh but now i can't find his torso / i guess we're separated." I DONT WANNA KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!

sin traingle. there is so much to this song i could explain every lyric in detail. got to work on my face then im crawling back to my grave and im certain that im gonna die this time no doubt is left inside my mind tonight... two faced bitches never lie therefore i never lie.

awe/arc. look at this shit bro. first fucking duty. "shock and awe baby just takes all of my time" is such a nick line its insane. oh ive really done it now...

adlai stevenson. 1952 THE HEART WAS NOT YOUR MASTER, THE ACCIDENT YOU THREW WOULD CARRY THROUGH YOUR LAUGHTER. EVIDENCE, EVIDENCE, IVE HEARD OF IT. AND WHAT IS THE ANSWER!!!

counting down the hours "innocence it dont come easy, in a sense it never will / accidents mean no ones guilty, ignorance means someones killed" firmly in the trial area here.

okay when all of you talk about wesley being a nepo baby you're just saying that as a mean gotcha. I UNDERSTAND IT. i think its an interesting part of his character and should be explored bitch! anyway little nixon is my wesley nepo baby statement. "least favorite son / tarnished the family name though the name itself was suspect. "

CONTINUING ON THE NEPO BABY THING. GOLDEN EAGLE BABY. i could quote every line from this song here because it is so central to my understanding of wesley as a character.

the wheel is turning now is about seeing charismatic leaders as gods and is specifically about nick. he was like their coach their surrogate father and their best friend all in one! anyway "he laid his hands upon me / he took ahold of my life." i could talk about the insanely fucked up and interesting nick / wesley dynamic for 10000 hours but this song sums it up pretty well.

this is where we get into the post first duty stuff. and let me tell you there is a single book in all of beta canon that has any mention of wesley after first duty and that book is insanely depressing. its right after jaxa died and wesley says to his roommate something like "she understood better than the rest of us that that was the only way to get out." which like. hey wes. whats that about. BASICALLY this is all to say that post first duty wesley is mostly headcanon on my part because we dont get to see him in the show but i understand him so i get liberty here.

young and happyyyy. another one where i could paste all the lyrics here because it fits so well. "someone we love hitched a ride to minneapolis it aged him too soon / someone i never told you id turn my back on, now i think she hates me / to be a child again and easily forgiven." young and happy man.

plane crash blues "this plane is going down anything to make you feel better / at least this time when it goes down in flames no one can say that you're to blame. this part is also wesley coded innn repressing and ignoring all your issues. my normal girl

maybe ill wait. we're moving away from the academy stuff now. "do you suspect they never loved you just themself reflected off you"

we're away from the intensity and anger of first duty now it's more just. general apathy and depression area. JUNK BOND TRADER!!! "now im a policeman directing traffic, keeping everything flowing everything static / im the hitchhiker you'll recognize passing on your way to some everlasting" ARE YOU SEEING THIS.

shelved is about someone reminiscing about when they used to be famous and loved but now they're a washout and the world has forgotten about them. because they've refused to change with the times. "the rides over, i know / but im not ready to go."

this is now like the definitive journeys end section. hey

i will light you on fire this song fits so welll. "if i lack point or purpose on the surface / its only cuz i was trying to fit in / and some years are uneventful, inconsequential / AND SOME YEARS I DONT SHOW UP AT ALL!!!" OKAY!

american garbage is THE journeys end song. its about someone who's angry and hurtful but cant understand why they're like this.

YOUR CAT. BY SLAUGHTER BEACH DOG. HAS BEEN MY #1 WESLEY SONG FOR YEARS. AND IM NOT KIDDING.

ARE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT. HEY MAN I WENT TO COLLEGE TOO!!

dreams fall hard. sigh. here's the thing my gay wesley agenda is just a funny headcanon its like. i know this repressed little freak has catholic guilt in the 24th century. i know this. "last night i dreamed i had to tell my parents about us and when i woke up i was crying / mother shook my by my shoulders said you're ruining your life / im sorry that your bright young boy is dying."

done bleeding. okay so ive gone back and forth on the final song for awhile. it used to be way more depressing but i think done bleeding works well for the end of journeys end. "things were even worse here than they sounded" "grim faced pilots back from the bombing run / when i get done"

if you've read this far i love you. if you have any comments questions concerns. i would love FEEDBACK. anway im very sorry to say that i have an entire other playlist for post canon traveler wesley.

spent 3 hours reordering and editing my wesley playlist my songssssss. music. i wish this was like 8tracks where you could add an annotation to each song cuz brother. i get it.

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