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rainhalydia · 5 years ago

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ASOIAF characters: Wenda the White Fawn, Septa Melore, Young Griff/Aegon, Jon Connington, Arthur Dayne, Ashara Dayne, Edric Dayne, Alannys Harlaw, Rodrick Harlaw, Gwynesse Harlaw, Harras Harlaw, Sharra Arryn, Floris the Fox

Thank you, nonny! This will be my last go at this game, but I’m hoping you stick around anyway

Wenda the White Fawn

We don’t know a lot about her, but she got one over Merrett Frey, so she’s good in my books!

Septa Lemore

She’s the least interesting of Griff’s entourage for me, but I still like her. She’s just less impressive, imho. Also, I’m not bothered at all about her real identity. None of the proposed theories I’ve seen convince me, but I’m happy if it is revealed or not.

Young Griff/Aegon

I think he can be the son of Elia and Rhaegar or not, it doesn’t matter so much for the overall narrative because the cerne of his emotional tragedy has to do with his relationship with Jon C, imho. I think he’s rather likeable if a little impulsive. They picked the worst moment, that is, the worst age he could be to invade Westeros.

Jon Connington

I like him a lot! One of the few father figures who doesn’t suck! He might do the unthinkable yet, but for now it’s very hard not to root for him. I think his love for R, while understandable, is frustrating, but that’s my own dislike of R showing. Jon, please! You can do so much better!

Arthur Dayne

What makes me dislike Arthur is that he gets this rep as the ultimate knight, but he actually is complicit in whatever R was doing. He kept Lyanna from her brother while she was dying and screaming for him (if we can take Ned’s dream literally here, but that’s the one part that strikes me as less fever-ish). How do you justify that to youself? And on top of that, it was ineffective: the guy you tried to stop was the only one who could - and did - protect the baby.

Ashara Dayne

She has the same problem as many other characters we hear about but never see on page. There’s not enough information to make me care personally for her, however tragic her story. What actually gave me some sympathy was her description from Barristan’s pov. It gave me a new understanding of how many annoying suitors she had to put up with.

Edric Dayne

He’s a cutie pie, but that’s it. I like him more for how much his interactions with Arya give us some awesome material. I’m not even talking about how jealous Gendry gets, I’m talking about "That's not so. He loved my lady mother.""I'm sure he did, my lady, but—""She was the only one he loved."

Alannys Harlaw

I LOVE HER SO MUCH! I love that she was Asha’s role model, I love that her hair went grey with suffering like Theon’s, I love that she’s going to outlive all her garbage in-laws and live out the rest of her long life with her remaining kids and grandkids. Which I want her to have lots of, btw. Let all the conspiracy theories be true!

Rodrick Harlaw

I feel deply for Rodrick as the only sane man in an island full of unwashed bigots. His desire to stay in and read while said bigots try to kill each other and foreigners is more than understandable, but I love that despite everything he goes to help Asha.

Gwynesse Harlaw

Another highly relatable Harlaw. I got the impression that, while she may go back to the issue of who should rule Ten Towers all the time, she doesn’t actually want it. It’s enough to rub this in and bug her little brother and to never have to marry again.

Harras Harlaw

The least impressive Harlaw, despite being a knight with a valyrian sword who slayed seven men in a row. He does not have the family brain, given that he was eager to exchange the lordship of Ten Towers for Greyshield. He championed Asha at the kingsmoot and that is the only thing he ever did right.

Sharra Arryn

She resisted conquest as much as she could, not an easy feat given the enemy had dragons. But she also knew when whe was defeated. That’s a trait more people should cultivate in Westeros. The saddest part is not the loss of independence, though, but the stuff with her sons :(

Floris the Fox

Her name is alliterative! That’s all my opinions on her!

#ask game #Anonymous

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testingcheats0n · 3 years ago

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Tyrion III

At this point I'm realizing that there are no fillers in this book. Every chapter has lore, or hints to some future event or other, when I read this for the first time I didn't appreciate that which led me to miss interactions and other important moments. It's a shame and I have already been spoiled, but I hope I can catch something theorists haven't for more than a decade 🥴

We begin.

Tyrion eats crabs and pisses off Thorne who is a bitter old man that actively worsens the Night's Watch. All very on brand, but this time Tyrion is funny instead of vexing. Jeor might not be as good of a leader as I thought ngl.

The raven (and it is a raven confirmed, which means Bloodraven is possessing him and not the crow- it might be the way he spied on people when he was alive and Hand of the king) calls Jeor Mormont a fool. I think it's because he admitted he sent Ben after Royce moments before, and then more men after Ben. It would make sense, since Bloodraven would still care about the Watch (in a way) and has the experience as Lord Commander to back up his assessment. My personal theory is that the normal unpossessed crow repeats the last words of the last speaker, while the possed one by the three-eyed crow can pick whatever word to "speak" with the people around. Another possible theory is that a Child of the Forest is doing the possessing, and the third most "meh" one is that the sentience of the crow is actually the remains of some Child of the Forest since it's known that they leave remains of their essence within the animals.

Tyrion and Jeor speak, and the poor old man begs Tyrion for help. Tyrion, as always, is a condescending POS that laughs at Mormont internally and vocally. If I have to read "grumpkins and snarks" one more time, I swear I'll fly to the U.S.A and shit on Gyrm's porch.

We continue on with the lore. We're told that Tyrion has lived through 8 or 9 short winters, lasting up to 3 years, I haven't done the math but I've heard that Gyrm changed his mind later on since the timeline didn't fit. I thought it was a curious piece of information. Also Tyrion was born in the middle of a cold winter, which does sound ominous for him.

We know that most of the POV characters were born during the long summer, thus the frequent "summer child" meme. I wonder if the season a person was born in determines their character...

Also no one ever speaks of autumn- there are exactly 50 mentions in all the books and they almost always refer to food or weather and they almost always by Stark POV characters, shockingly. You can actually see a character's story arc and priorities with that. The first ever mention is by Ned, followed by a bunch from Bran, one or two by Sansa, then many by Arya and Jon, then Catelyn then Theon (more or less the same amount in the middle- as if by association)- some from Cressen and Stannis (because of the whole light vs darkness Melissandrei has going on), Cersei once to show how much she doesn't actually care and one mention by Jaime. I suppose it's symbolic- instead of worrying about the short autumn followed by a long winter the Lords and Ladies worry about petty wars and crowns. I bet there will be plenty dreams of spring in the future though.

Jeor mentions the fabled "long summers equal to long winters" which is... weird. It implies that the seasons are proportional to each other, if there are 3 years of summer there are 3 years of winter. We know that it varies cycle to cycle (which, in theory, could lead to a short summer and autumn and a long winter which could kill everyone) except for two specific cases.

The first case is the Long Winter. A long summer, a short autumn and a long winter.

The second case is the the only once mentioned Eternal Summer. A reward for good behavior, according to Tyrion. To me it sounds like a myth more than anything. Or what happens after the Long Night. I'm unsure

Next we have a juicy bit of information that actually leaves me baffled. Mormont dreamt of the Others.

Was that Bloodraven or the three-eyed crow? I honestly don't know. Iirc, Tree Man can only visit dreams via a tree avatar, but not cause them or manipulate them. The only way he might do that is supposing he is the three-eyed crow, but other than that... hm. Maybe the weirwoods give him that ability as well- but Papa Bear makes no mention of it, nor have we seen anything like it before (certainly from Bloodraven and not the crow, I mean)

Another clue is that the dream can be of the present, but also the future and the past. Uh...? We know that the weirwood can see future, present and past, while the crow seems focused on the present omnipotent view?

That leads to the next question. If the three-eyed crow only wants crippled little boys to prey on, why would he send a dream to Mormont? To warn, but from what we know, the bird doesn't care to save humanity. Even Bloodraven only watches and little else. Maybe, Mormont warged into a bear or something lmao, or maybe as an Old Gods believer he received a vision as a boon. We don't know and it's never mentioned again.

Then we have one final bit of info. We are told that the weriwoods are slowly making their way under the caves of the Wall, as if trying to get past it. See, on one hand trees can't grow on ice so down is better, but on the other, could this be proof that the wall wasn't meant for them? They can make their way just fine, and the tunnels ought to be protected with the same magic (also btw, little mention of the three-eyed crow to the north beyond the wall. Hmmmm 🤔). On the other it might be proof that it was indeed for them, in part. The walls kept them from growing south intentionally, the caves are a loophole and the men were there in part to keep chopping them off. For furniture more than timber bc the wood doesn't rot, but there is no weirwood furniture mentioned in any of the castles and Mormont says the woods were cut down for timber. They either kinda forgot to use the weirwoods for that, or there weren't any this close to the wall (or they didn't even do that to begin with)

Anything else might melt my brain. So goodnight, for now.

#i wrote a whole paragraph about chopping trees #asoiaf commynity am i cool yet?#asoiaf chapter by chapter analysis #asoiaf reread #testing rereads asoiaf #tyrion iii #long post

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sxpiosexualx · 7 years ago

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Do you think varys will switch side when he finds out that sansa cares about people? Something denise never does.

Haha dear lord… I’m not sure if Varys would see any other potential queen and switch sides because of that, as much as I hope he would I think it’s wishful thinking and would be too much of a happy ending for everyone to jump ship and choose Sansa.

BUT that being said, it’s not beyond the realm of possibility. Varys may be a targ stan(lol) but Sansa has the right name too, and he knows she’s spent time in the south learning their courtesies. She wouldn’t be a foreigner, not really. I think what’s happened is he’s just never seen her as a candidate just like the majority of casual watchers. She’s the show’s best kept secret.

I do think that D*ny might do something that finally pushes Varys to abandon her cause which would most likely bring about his death(“if you ever betray me I’ll burn you alive”).

Anyway, apart from Varys… here’s a few other people I hope would rally to Sansa/The North’s side if it ever comes to it:

> Theon: because his loyalties should lie with the North instead of D*ny. If he could broker an alliance with the dragon queen I’m sure the Starks wouldn’t mind an alliance with the Iron Islands either, especially since Yara’s claimed they’ll stop their way of life(the r*ping and reaving etc). Also because D*ny hasn’t done shit to help Yara? Why? Because she has their ships and she doesn’t give a fuck that’s why. Theon and Sansa’s dynamic btw, is one I actually favour. They both went through some shit and Sansa(on the show at least) helped him shed out of Reek. Please let them reconnect.

> Jaime: because “Sansa Stark is my last chance at honour.” For now, I’m sure his main objective is to join the fight against the Night King so I don’t think his allegiance would be clear but if it ever came to it, perhaps after the fight if he doesn’t perish, it makes a whole lot more sense to pledge his loyalties to Sansa than it does to the mad king’s daughter. I’m certain he was having war flashbacks lol, and it sucks because he was so close to ending D*ny. SO close. Of course from a narrative point, you wouldn’t expect her to die so soon, she still played her role in the war of the dawn, but looking at it from Jaime’s perspective, he was just trying to save millions of lives.

> Tyrion: I’m a little more skeptical with him, because he clearly cares about D*ny but he has to come to his senses. He needs to realise she’s not who she once was. Who better to side with than someone he swore an oath to protect? *cough* Sansa.

> Sandor: I MEAN COME ON. If the hound makes it to Winterfell with everyone else and swears his allegiance to D*ny at any point without even considering Sansa as an option I’m really… like I’m REALLY going to throw a book at my TV/laptop/whatever the fuck I’ll be watching season 8 on. Sansa humanised Sandor, he may not be on my list of favs but I wont stand to watch him serve another impulsive brat.

> Jon: I’m really going to scream SO LOUD if it EVER came to choosing D*ny or Sansa and my son does so much as CONSIDER siding with that lizard I will literally scream bloody murder to his characterisation because fuck no will Jon fucking Snow ever in a million years choose someone like D*enerys over his own fucking family, fuck you D&D. And it’s got nothing to do with Jonsa either like fuck ships for now, erase it and it still makes no fucking sense for Jon to want to side with his “““LoVeR”” stfu it’s so ugly. Not only is he a Stark, he swore to protect her. That much is tru. There is no way in hell he’s about to turn his back on her, but if he somehow does, I hope him and D*ny both perish. Because that’s not Jon Snow.

> also Gendry, actually?: I hope he and Arya become a thing or at least get to meet again, and it makes better sense for him to side with the Starks than with that foreign invader. There’s already a Stark/Baratheon connection anyway.

It’s a bit weird isn’t it, how the story has made a point to connect so many characters back to Sansa. It’s almost as if… she has… a bigger purpose :)

Thanks for the ask! lmao.

#pro sansa #sansa stark #anti daenerys #anti targaryen restoration #we only know one tru queen #and it's not the lizard lady #jon x sansa #jonsa #sansan #sandor x sansa #sanrion #sansa x tyrion #gendrya #gendry x arya #jaime x sansa #theonsa #theon x sansa

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boystownbirdie · 7 years ago

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LMWTV4U: GOT S7E3

Welcome back! In case you’re new, this is LET ME WATCH TV 4 U (?), the blog where I watch tv so you don’t have to! If you missed it, I wrote a special mid-week post this past week which broke down the main characters called: new phone who dis? Check it out here.

Also reminder that I have a new feature called “Why does this scene even matter?” (WDTSEM) for those seemingly useless scenes which may or may not actually be important later.

Tonight’s episode featured the FIRST EVER meeting of Bae and Khaleesi, so let’s get into it!

************************SPOILER ALERT************************************

We start off on Dragonstone….

...which is the island where Khaleesi and co have posted up. Bae rows up with no-knuckles in a tiny rowboat and meets his old pal Tyrion on the sand. T is like remember when we met in season 1 and I peed off the edge of the wall that you were guarding lol jk lol jk? And Bae is like yep you were so wasted, bro. They also meet Khaleesi’s hottie translator with the good hair who’s like welcome, please hand over all of your weapons. And Bae’s like BUT I THOUGHT I HAD TSA- PRE CHECK! And T’s like naw, we’ve really had to tighten up our policies here. Some horse-dudes also take their little rowboat away.

As Bae and No-Knuckles (NK) are walking up to meet Khaleesi, her dragons do a quick perimeter sweep and really freak out poor little bae (see gif above). Watching all of this unfold from a creepy high-up-spying-spot is the Red Witch Lady who brought Bae back from the dead but then got kicked out and also Sleevey. The Red Witch is like I did my part, I brought Khaleesi and Bae together. And Sleevey’s like… don’t you want to see their first meeting? I think it might be like the Hamilton-Burr meeting in the musical Hamilton? And she’s like nope I got kicked out for burning a kid alive so not really welcome around him or NK. And he’s like ya you better get to steppin’ back East. And she’s like NO YOU better get to steppin’ back east.

WDTSEM? Truly no idea. I guess we’re supposed to be reminded that Sleevey hates religion because a religious zealot cut off his who-ha and ho-ho’s and therefore they do NOT get along?

Now, if you’ll recall Khaleesi is a pretty kewl lady. She campaigned on an anti-slavery platform back in the East and brought together a bunch of different groups of people all while keeping dat hair and dem outfits on point. And Bae is also a pretty kewl dude. He supports refugees and fights for the underserved and also looks fly as hell doing it. I know what you’re thinking, ARE THEY BOTH SINGLE? THEY SHOULD BONE? Well, unbeknownst to both of them, they’re actually related; she’s his aunt. But considering this episode featured a sex scene between a man and a woman who happen to be TWINS, I feel like aunt-nephew is not too weird for GoT-land. Back to the point, this is the first time Bae and Khaleesi are ever meeting and due to their similarities on paper, you’d think they’d get along. But turns out they do not.

Khaleesi is basically like #bowdownbitches and Bae is like naw dawg. They go back and forth for awhile, with Khaleesi explaining how/why she should overtake Queen Pixie Cut (QPC) and Bae basically agreeing but saying his real concern is the giant army of ice zombies. And she’s like lol wut? Ice zombies? Nice try, dude. Next thing you know, Sleevey rolls up and is like ruh-roh! Remember last episode when our pals Previously-Traumatized Theon (PTT), his sis Yara aka the Kween of the Iron Islands, and the Sand Queen lady sailed off to Southern shore to be mobilize our forces down South? Well PTT and Yara’s uncle, Uncle-Crazy-Pants (UCP) attacked them, burned most of their ships, and took Yara and the Sand-Queen lady hostage.

Next, we get a shot of PTT washing up and getting pulled into a boat where he reports that his sis was taken hostage and no, sorry, he wasn’t able to get her back. His peeps are like ugh what’s your deal, bro? But poor bb PTT has been through a lot so give him a break, ok?!?

WDTSEM? Well the Sand Queen and Yara were supposed to bring together all of Yara’s fleet of ships (which was approx. a buttload) and then head to Sand Queen’s home (Dorne) and bring together that whole army and then march up to King’s Landing, where QPC is sittin’ on dat throne. Now that they’re captured and their ships are burnt, this is a huge loss to Khaleesi.

Speaking of Uncle-Crazy-Pants, let’s check in on him in King’s Landing…

UCP is marching down the streets of King’s Landing doing a pretty good impression of Aladdin during the “Make Way for Prince Ali” scene. The difference here is that he is dragging along his niece, Yara, as well as the Sand Queen (SQ) lady and one her Sand Snake daughters. He struts up to QPC on his horse and “delivers” her the gift of SQ and her daughter. Now if you’ll recall, one of QPC’s kids, her daughter Myrcella, got kissed on the lips with poison by SQ a few seasons ago and proceeded to die on a lovely boat trip in which her dad/uncle (Jaime) confessed that he was her real dad. So needless to say, QPC and Jaime are NOT FANs of this lady.

UCP is like here, QPC, I brought you these prisoners, can we get married and/or bone now? And QPC is like yep, sure can! But first let’s beat Khaleesi in this giant, ongoing war. She tells him he’s in charge of her naval forces and that her bro is in charge of the Lannister army. And since UCP is cuckoo, he’s like hey Jaime, can you give me sex tips for when I do it with your sister (honestly, fair question) and obvi Jaime is like NOT KEWL BRO but he has to pretend to like this guy so he bites his tongue.

Then QPC makes a big deal of locking up SQ and her daughter and then kissing the daughter on the lips with poison to be like #reciprocity I guess? And she’s like SQ will have to watch her daughter die and then also hang out in this cave forever. I guess all this torture is really a turn-on because next thing we know, she’s making out with her brother and giving him a blowie right there.

The next morning, they’re all post-coital and he’s like I should...go? And she’s like naw, I’m the kween we can do whatever! And her maid sees them in their nudididity and is like eww?

Then QPC takes a meeting with an important banker who’s like…bitch...you broke. And she’s like gimme a minute, I got dis.

We stop back by Dragonstone to catch Bae bein’ Bae…

By which I mean he’s brooding by a cliff. And Tyrion is like damn I was trying to brood but you look hawter doing it, which is v. true really. They chat about what went wrong back at that meeting between Khaleesi and Bae. Tyrion tells Bae to take a chill pill and think about how crazy he sounds talkin’ bout ice zombies and whatnot. He also tells Bae about all the good things Khaleesi has done and how she’s actually a pretty cool lady. Then he goes and does the same with Khaleesi, basically. He’s like Bae’s a cool guy and all he wants from you are these rocks that you have under your castle that you’re NOT EVEN USING so just let him do that. And she’s like ok fine.

So then we get to Bae-Khaleesi-meeting 2.0 where it’s just the 2 of them, standing on this cliff chatting kween-to-king. She agrees to let him mine the “dragonglass” (rocks that kill ice zombies) under her castle and he kind of agrees to support her in her campaign against QPC? Well mostly he agrees that QPC is no good and Khaleesi would be a better kween. Then Bae’s like… does this mean you believe me re: ice zombies? And Khaleesi is like… no comment.

We head North to Winterfell, where Bae’s sis Sansa was left in charge

And boy is she doing a good job! Which is kind of surprising, only because we’ve never seen her utilize these skills before. She’s walking around telling people to start storing their barley for winter and telling the metal-workers to line their breastplates with leather and generally being a BOSS. Littlefinger, AS ALWAYS, is creeping around behind her doing nothing helpful. He stops to give her some advice about imagining every possible scenario at all times which is like, sure, a good idea in theory but who has time for that?!?

Suddenly her little bro, Bran, who she was told was maybe dead, shows up in Winterfell. She’s like OMG YASS KWEEN YOU’RE ALIVE! And Bran is just sitting there (to be fair he is paraplegic so he couldn’t get up) staring straight ahead and is acting all robotic. I guess it’s because he’s been through some trauma but at this point so has almost every character on GoT and they still manage to register human emotion.

They proceed to have a heart-2-heart by the old-family-magic-face-tree and she’s like so...what’s been going on in the last 6 seasons? And he’s like I am the three-eyed-raven now I can see the past and the present and all scenarios at all times (hmm interesting that this is exactly what littlefinger just advised her to do...) And she’s like cool….so….do you want to be in charge now since you are the oldest living official Stark male and gender roles are apparently still a BFD up North? And he’s like can’t… I have to prophesize. Btw where’s Bae? We know as savvy viewers that he’s looking for Bae because he needs to tell him about the paternity results.

And then he vividly describes the night she was married off to her psychopath-ex-husband who then proceeded to rape her. He keeps talking about it, too, which I guess is to prove that he can see the past but also NOT trauma-informed and not a welcome conversation. It’s weird.

We stop by Old Town which is more and more like Hogwarts every day…

Mostly because Jim Broadbent is there and because people are getting miraculously cured from turning-to-stone-diseases. Sam, Bae’s bestie, is still interning at the “maester” academy, learning to be a doctor/librarian and you’ll recall that last week he did some under-the-radar experimental surgery to treat Stoney, who happens to be one of Khaleesi’s besties. Now get this, STONEY IS CURED! The artist-formerly-known-as-Stoney is like thanks, Sam, I gotta get back to Khaleesi! And Sam’s boss is like I know you did that amateur surgery and you’re in big trouble but also good job I’m proud of you.

Our last scene is really a montage of scenes so let’s get into it…

I have to admit that even I, GoT-viewing-expert (lol), was confused and overwhelmed by this last scene. So I’ll try to break it down as clearly as I can, but bear with me. We start with Tyrion laying out the current battle plan. Since Khaleesi is pretty ticked that their ships (well technically Yara’s ships but under her direction) were all destroyed by UCP, she mentions finding UCP’s ships and burning them up. How? Well duh, she got dem dragons! It’s strange because I’m pretty sure she’s talking about riding them and commanding them while at the helm, but she never really says this clearly. And Tyrion is like no that’s too dangerous, someone else should do it. Does he mean himself? MAYBE? TBD...

But for now, let’s get into the current battle zones:

Greyworm (fresh off his recent sex scene from last week) and the rest of the “unsullied” army, were sent by Khaleesi and Tyrion to overtake T’s family home, Casterly Rock. There’s this whole montage that Tyrion helpfully narrates about how if the unsullied were to attack Casterly Rock by just popping up on the fortress, they’d be crushed since it was built so well. BUT since Tyrion used to sneak in his sex ladies and booze and other “unsavory” things through the sewer system, he knows it very well. So he instructs Greyworm and a small group to come in through the back and engage in sneak-attack-warfare. They successfully take Casterly Rock, but they’re like...that’s funny...there were supposed to be a lot more people here? And they look out to the sea where it looks like UCP’s ships are burning up all of the ships they rode in on. Which is a real bummer.

Meanwhile, the rest of the Lannister army (all the people who were missing when Greyworm and co. attacked) led by Jaime, is shown marching on “Highgarden” which is where Grandma Tyrell (Gma) lives, apparently completely alone. Remember that Gma’s son and grandkids all got burned up in that church-explosion by QPC last season and then she decided to back Khaleesi? She also told Khaleesi not to trust Tyrion and to “be a dragon.” Gma is looking out at this whole army of Lannister dudes and is like well...IDGAF at this point, really. Important to note that Sam’s Dad (who is a major dick) and Sam’s bro (who’s actual name is Dickon) as well as Tyrion’s old pal Bronn are on the front lines with Jaime, even though last week Sam’s dad was like I could NEVER betray Gma Tyrell.

WDTSEM? Remember when QPC said she’d pay back all of her debts to the banker? Well Highgarden is famously wealthy and has lots of important exports (like grains, for example). So with Jaime and QPC in possession of all of that, as well the coffers of Casterly Rock which he says he cleared out, they can now pay them back, theoretically. Also, Highgarden is down South so now QPC and co have a stronghold down there.

Jaime meets Gma in her study for some light refreshments and death threats. Gma is like well… shoulda seen this coming. Also, did you know your sister/lover is the worst human ever? Like seriously a sociopath? And Jaime is like, oh you think she’s so bad? Well how about this? She is going to let you die from poison rather than torture- isn’t that sweet?!? And gma is like ugh whatever give me the poison, put it in my wine plz. She drinks it in one gulp and then she’s like oh, BTW, I know that Joffrey (the evil little prince dude who was poisoned and killed at his wedding to Gma’s granddaughter, Queen Makeunder) is your son cuz of incest and also, I’m the one who poisoned him. And Jaime is like maybe mad or maybe not? Maybe just surprised? Gma is like tell QPC that it was me who killed Joffrey, k? Ps I hate QPC ok bai, time to die.

WDTSEM? For so long QPC’s only redeeming quality (as told by all of the other characters) was her love for her children. After all 3 had died, she took over the throne and started in on this crazy reign of terror. Now she has SQ captive and is torturing her for killing her daughter and with this admission, she’s also killed the person responsible for one of her son’s deaths. Will ticking off those responsible for killing her main motivation in life help her find closure or make her more of a monster? I’d guess the latter.

Now let’s break it down:

Biggest surprise this ep: The attack on Highgarden! I did not see that coming and also did not fully understand at first. The way the scene was shot, it seemed like gma was in on this invasion, but obviously she was not, as she was later killed by said invaders.

Biggest letdown: Bran was so lackluster and un-enthuz’ed about finally seeing his sister and his hometown again. It’s like we get that you have magic powers now but could you show some effort here?

Important fashion moments: Bae’s meeting-the-kween-but-I-also-have-armor-on look was pretty fly and even though she is THE WORST, I was feeling the red-witch-lady’s linen-y red scarf/cape

Who died this ep? The Sand Queen’s daughter (the last of the “Sand Snakes”), a bunch of unsullied soldiers out at sea, and Olenna Tyrell (aka gma Tyrell) RIP.

Check in this time next week for more LMWTV4U and thanks for reading. Tell your friends!

Correction: I’ve recently discovered that I’ve been spelling Jaime Lannister’s name wrong for my entire blog-writing career. My apologies.

Also, you might IDGAF this but just to lay it out there, I purposefully avoid all other recaps/reviews/think-pieces about the latest episode in the time between watching the ep and writing this recap. Sometimes I will hop on to the GoT wiki page to find out a character’s name or check a fact but mostly it’s just my own notes that I reference.

WHY AM I EVEN SAYING THIS? I often will read other recaps/reviews after writing and posting this one and I’m like OMG WE HAD THE SAME REACTION/ SAID THE SAME THING about a scene or a character. So I guess I just wanted to say that any similarities between this recap and any other recap are unintentional and coincidental.

I know what you’re thinking: PROVE IT. Well, much like Bae trying to prove the ice zombies are real, I can’t prove it, I can only state the facts and hope that my time-worn face and honest peepers will be enough :)

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