#this is the first time i've took part in a zine! it was a great motivator

[citruscantus]

My piece for @dotzines prisMagic rainbow magical girls zine! There's some really good work to see in it, I had a great time doing this one! 💜💜

[lazywitchling]

Alright, here we go. My review for The Dabbler's Guide to Witchcraft by Fire Lyte

Final rating: ??/10 - it broke my numbers system.

TL;DR - I like the book. I'm angry at the author. It's great for new practitioners. If you're going to get it, please get it from the Spiral House Shop, get Alex Wrekk's two witchcraft zines to go with it, and go look at/reblog/contribute to the original Dabbler's Week project.

(Also I think this is the longest review I've written yet. I'm sorry.)

This book is very good. I'm mad about that. The author is an excellent writer. I'm mad about that. I want to dislike this book but I can't, and I'm mad about that.

So let's get into the breakdown of why.

First up, a housekeeping thing: "Fire Lyte" is a pen name that I don't believe the author uses anymore, so I will be referring to him as Don Martin, the name he is using on his current projects. I know he's on TikTok, formerly of Inciting a Riot podcast, now of Head on Fire podcast.

Second, some links relevant to the review-which-is-actually-just-a-rant:

The breakdown of things I found that were taken uncredited from Tumblr

I COULD be making this up and reading it in bad faith, but this bit about 'heteronormative marriage' has my alarm bells ringing

Why I hate the title of this book

The original Dabbler's Week project links

Anyway.

I picked this book up specifically because of the title. It's been 3 years since it was published, so it took me a while, but I remember looking at that title when it was first out and thinking "Hey... the timing of this... did this person just wholesale lift the 'Dabbler' idea from Tumblr?"

The answer is: Yes, probably!

(He also summarized the Malachite Dick post from February 2020, but he actually credited Tumblr along with relevant usernames, so that's good and also made me laugh.)

But... yeah. The fact that he's crediting Tumblr from something that specifically happened in February 2020, when the original Dabbler's Week was from late January 2020 and seems to have inspired his whole book? Don, would it have killed you to mention ANYTHING about that project and the people involved?

He's very big on talking about following trails of information, listening to podcasts, listening to the podcasts of people talked about on those podcasts, reading books talked about on those podcast, and so on. But if he doesn't start off by saying "Dabbler's Week was a project issued by asksecularwitch on Tumblr", then how is anyone supposed to follow THAT chain of information, hmm? If his whole advice on finding good witchcraft resources is to follow the chain of people who are sharing information from each other, but he makes no mention of where he got the whole idea for his book, then what?

Side rant: I'm real tired of how Tumblr information is simultaneously treated as too shitty to ever bother reading or mentioning, but good enough to screenshot, repost on other sites, recite word-for-word on tiktok, and apparently write a book about.

ANYWAY. I'm angry about it. I'm gonna be angry about it. Here, please look at these links to the shenanigans that began the original Dabbler's Week, because Don certainly won't tell you about this part.

Anyway.

Some bad things:

I mean, the plagiarism. I keep hesitating to use the word 'plagiarism', because to me that seems like wholesale lifting entire works and slapping your name on them, when all Don did was fail to credit a few Tumblr users he quoted. But then again, if I did that on a research paper in college, it would be called plagiarism, so.

This book is in fact not a great guide for 'dabblers'. The point of Dabbler's Week was that if someone didn't know if they wanted to commit to witchcraft but wanted to fuck around with casting some spells for a week to try it out, there were week-long guides on things someone could do to try that. This book is not for fucking around with magic, it's for people who are already sure that they want to make this a thing in their lives. It handles some heavier topics (e.g. vetting mentors and not getting sucked into a cult) that are very very important for someone who is BEGINNING, but may be too much for someone who just says one day "lol I think I'll cast a spell for fun". A far more accurate title would have been "The Beginner's Guide to Witchcraft", but then he'd lose that punchy and marketable and googleable term 'dabbler'. (Yes, I'm going to be petty about this.)

"Wow Jes, it sounds like you really hated this book."

NO I DIDN'T, AND I'M SO MAD ABOUT THAT!

Some good things:

The author has a writing style that I enjoyed very much. This is a personal preference, but I like when books are either written so that the author is fully invisible (Bree Landwalker's books do this wonderfully), or the author is fully visible, like they're sitting at the table having a conversation with you (Kelly-Ann Maddox's 'Rebel Witch' comes to mind, as does Alex Wrekk's 'Brainscan 33: DIY Witchery'). Don Martin is the table conversation kind. That makes this book very easy to read, while also getting information across in an easily-understood sort of way.

This book fills a very necessary gap in modern witching books. It talks about the online community of witches, and a lot of the pitfalls that have come along with the bonuses of having so much witchcraft available at our social-media connected fingertips.

He gets very in depth with things like cultural appropriation. That's something that you can find in a lot of modern witch books, but Don actually spends the time breaking the concept down and explaining WHY it's harmful, HOW it affects people, and quotes people from the affected minority groups. I have seen the appropriation topic come up in a lot of the witch books I've read, but Don is the one who has covered the topic the best, imo.

He spends time on topics that I myself would have been dismissive of. The example that comes to mind is the chapter 'Can I Make Sh*t Up?' My knee jerk reaction was "Yes, you can make your own spells, you don't need to get someone else's permission. Next question." But Don goes through the full breakdown of yes you can make up your own spells, yes you can make your own correspondences, but no that doesn't mean you can just throw a water soluble crystal in your water bottle because you think it's good for cleansing.

Actually on that topic, he covers a lot of the why not just the what. It's not just 'appropriation is bad', it's 'and here's why'. It's not just 'research your herbs', it's 'here's some examples of things that can and have gone wrong.'

SPELL CANVASES! There are 11 'spell canvases' in this book, and they're pretty much all just kids/teens science experiments (e.g. dissolving an egg shell in vinegar, lighting a tea bag on fire so it flies, and using food dye to color a white flower). He does not give intentions for these spells, but gives a spell technique and then some examples of how you could apply your own purpose/intention to it as needed. It's actually pretty smart, and now I wish there was more stuff like this.

He actually explains what UPG means. Man, 'UPG' is one of those things that I keep seeing as a 'I don't know what that means and I'm to afraid to ask' blog post. When someone pops into the witchy social media circles, we can throw the term 'UPG' around as if everyone knows what it means, and forget to actually explain that it's Unverified Personal Gnosis and what that means. Don's got us covered. Good on you, Don.

The one throwaway line about why you don't have to buy fancy witch things. Tucked away in chapter 12 is this almost nothing-sentence mentioning why you shouldn't be "going broke hoping to buy your way into 'effective' magic" (pg. 161). I have seen, reblogged, probably written posts about 'No you don't need the fancy tools! You can just use whatever! But you CAN buy them if you want, you just don't NEED them.' And we've all seen those around, right? But damn, if Don didn't just get to the heart of it. You can't buy your way into skill. YES, Don, THAT!! THANK YOU.

Alright. I'm running out of words. This isn't a review, it's a rant. Holy shit. Let me shut up with a TL;DR

Almost without doubt, Don liked Tumblr's idea enough to write a book about it, but failed to give credit. But he's an excellent writer and covers a lot of topics that are not often written about in printed books, and to get those blogosphere-ideas onto bookshelves is invaluable. This is a good book for beginners starting out in witchcraft, but not for dabblers who just want to screw around with some spells. Do the pros outweigh the cons? Is it ethical to buy a book when the author gets royalties but the bloggers he got the idea from do not? I don't know. I can't tell you that. You'll have to weigh all this against your own moral compass and decide for yourself. My recommendation is that if you're going to buy it, please buy it from the Spiral House Shop, because if Don Martin's going to get paid for this book, Alex Wrekk should too. Buy Alex's zines. Reblog Sec's posts. Links are up at the top.

[bakathief]

I'm a little shy! But I would like to express my amazement and admiration! A while ago I found your Shadow Chase art, I loved it and became a fan, you create very funny stories and your art is beautiful, but that's not the point, I started following you because of that, but then I realized that you have many others projects and You are also very busy with your personal life. My question is how is everything organized and planned to advance a project despite academic/work responsibilities? I've seen that you even have collaborations with others and I keep thinking "this person is great." As a final note, I just want to leave my good wishes and hope you have a nice week. <3

Gosh, so many compliments in one ask, I‘m still a little loss for words. Thank you so much for reading my work and looking into my other projects, collabs and art! I hope you‘ve been enjoying them. ❤�� 

I think there is no denying that I need to organize myself a little bit to make everything work. I think I‘ve always used drawing, especially drawing comics, as a way to breathe and when I started uni I promised myself I would continue drawing somehow. The first semester was hell, but I finished all the way. 💪 And I had the same mindset for working, so when I started this year I was very motivated to draw. Lol I think it also helped that I had several different projects to work on so when I wasn’t in the mood for black and white I would move to something colorful. Comics also offer the possibility to work on different parts. Do I want to work on the story, on the storyboards, on the actual drawings or just editing…? A lot of options. And this is something which I heard on a video on AI but artist and creative people in general don‘t create in other to have more content but to get something out of their head and feel the satisfaction of creating a certain idea and I felt that very much. And then there is the joy of collabs and while there were unfortunately more failed attempts at collabs I’m very glad for those which eventually resulted in great projects. ❤️ I might have to take actual breaks from drawing when I get back to my thesis. I finished all the work but need to write the discussion part and wow, how much I don‘t wanna work on that. 

Currently I use my time on commutes for drawings digitally or making storyboards. In the evening I finish private stuff and when time is left I work on traditional art. Shadow Chase is the only project where I try to have an overview on how many pages I have done and want to finish before the next upload. Other works can usually go up once finished. When I create something for fan projects like zines, bigbangs, etc. I usually just try to finish said project right away. I don‘t like procrastinating (except my thesis I guess) and rather have stuff than can be finished done right away and focus on my other projects again.  Shades of Tourmaline was definitely my biggest collab project yet and with the amount of art planned it took like 3 years to finish because that was something I couldn‘t get done right away. 😂 fortunately clef was very patient with me (and kept me distracted with new collabs, oops). 

The short answer would be I try to draw as much as possible because it is just a lot of fun with the additional bonus of entertaining a few people. ❤️ 

[vryfmi]

it's not too late for TALK SHOP TUESDAY!

when and how did you learn about Lockwood and co? and what aspect of the story or characters made you so inspired to make art of them?

is there any other piece of media that's inspired you as much as l&co?

my first encounter with L&Co were DoodlingRaka's illustrations! i saw them years ago and was persuaded to read it together with a certain galri. it took me some time to get to like it though (sorry lucy, i couldn't stand you for three books). obviously i was hooked up on the lore and worldbuilding and ghosts and ghost mechanics, the world was really fleshed out and i couldn't wait to get to know more (no wonder george was and still is my favourite, his curiosity was a great contrast to early books lucy). and characters oh how much i loved their friendship and dynamics between one another! the way l&co are written with so much care and how unapologetically teenager they are, seeing them change and grow throughout the series was so impactful, rereads are always fun because of it.

so that's how i ended up drawing the trio and others as much as i do. there's a lot of nuances to each one of them that makes it impossible for my brain to get tired of them, there's always something to explore or situation to put them in.

i haven't explored worldbuilding in my art (unless counting my writing and illustrations for ttg zine) yet. i've tried making illustrations for books when i was rereading 2,5 years ago but i dropped it after 3 or 4 scenes. i have a lot of takes on various things so hopefully i will get back to those at one point but for now it's sketches of my favourite kids and ungodly amount of aus.

i don't think any other media made me have such a visceral I-Need-To-Make-Art reaction as L&Co books. when i was a kid/teen i was really into How To Train Your Dragon (movies, tv series, books, video games. i was eating it all up) and these were my first drawings with conscious desire to put on paper the thing that was inspiring me. there was also The Owl House when it was still airing, it was the fandom that made me want to start sharing my art online. i had my blog for years but i never had a desire to be an Artist™ but fandoms have this effect, now you want to be a part of it and share your ideas with people in your phone

[mirjam-writes]

What about you? What writing are you happy about this year?? Is there anything you want to brag about?

Happy Yule, solstice, Christmas, Festivus, (belated) Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Doctor Who Day! And anything else you might celebrate, or happy Monday if you don’t!

Thank you so so much for asking 🧡🧡

This was quite a writing year for me. I wrote only four stories, but I'm quite proud of all of them. To Love Somebody was my first foray in rare pairs. An angsty backstory for Shadwell, and what made him the way he is. It has an hopeful ending, and I'm quite proud of the structure, and how much I managed to squeeze into the small word count. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is a short and wholesome outsider pov story I wrote for an event. I was surprised how much people liked it! It was also my first attempt on present tense, which continued in A Stable Relationship, one of my FTH stories for this year (the second one will probably be a bit late, and be completed in January). I had fun writing it, and it turned out to be a good one, and the only one of these oneshots that was Explicit. It was set in horse riding world.

The reason why I wrote only three oneshots, and why my second FTH piece is late, was of course my favourite story of all time: Be Still My Soul trilogy. A human AU story set in the sad moments of Finnish history.

Despite the class differences, landowner Azirafel Fjäll and sawmill worker Anton Crowley have been friends since childhood. The Great War rages over Europe and the Empire of Russia is in the firm grip of a revolution. The echoes of these fateful events carry over to the Grand Duchy of Finland, vaguely sauntering towards independence. Azirafel and Crowley find themselves on the opposite sides of a conflict that will eventually lead to a bitter civil war, tearing the country apart.

Is there a possibility for them to find their own side, or will this be the end of their budding love story?

I started writing the third part in January, and finished it just before S2 aired in July. It finished posting in October, and it's now complete and done, though I'm still commissioning art for it. This story took over my life for over two years, and it's my baby. I've had such a hard time to let go of it! It also has its own blog @be-still-my-soul-fanfic where I posted dozens of posts about historical and cultural facts. The story is written in a way you don't need to know anything of the Finnish history beforehand (my American betas made sure of that). It's a lovestory, not a history lesson, BUT if you want to learn more, there's a lot of extra info available 😅

I think it's the best story I've ever written (and probably ever will). Many readers have agreed, but it's angsty with very heavy themes until the happy ending, so it's not for everyone and I think posting it just when S2 aired cut some of the potential readers. The third part of the trilogy is now five kudos shy of 100 kudos, and I'm hoping it could get past that milestone before new years. 😂 So yeah, my own personal favourite gets the least interaction of them all. Oh well.

I'm gonna sound a bit self-absorbed, but I'm proud I finished it and it turned out even better than I hoped. My dream would be to print a physical copy or to record a podfic of that, but both might be a bit too much work.

For the next year I have two zine fics to finish, and I have applied to a third one. I have one event fic in the works as well, but the FTH story will be the one I'll concentrate until it's done. It's an oneshot human AU which somehow grew limbs and now it's 7.6k words and nowhere near done 😱 That's my holiday project.

Thank you for asking!! I was so delighted to get a chance to ramble myself 🧡 There's never enough chances for writers to gush about their own work because it always feels a bit self centered. That's why I like to wander around Tumblr and give people the perfect excuse to do that! Peek at the #writer's favourites tag if you want to see other fanfic writers sharing their favourites! And feel free to use the tag yourself if I forgot to ask someone (I was very much not organised when going through the blogs and I'm not good at matching blog names with writer names 😅)

I hope you'll have a magnificent new year 🧡

[fireolin]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks @decembercamiecherries for the tag! I loved your answers. You've written so much! My output is much smaller, but these questions look fun nonetheless :D

Putting this under a Read More because it's long.

How many works do you have on AO3?

9

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

278,482 (reckon I've written 3 times that but edited them out, plus than many again words in unpublished or draft fic)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Hunter x Hunter

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Kiss Me Better - reunion Killugon, Hunterverse Coming Home - reunion Killugon, Hunterverse The Wishing Hunt - current WIP, fantasy AU Fireworks on Whale Island - reunion Killugon Hunterverse Sea Torn Hearts - fantasy AU

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, I try to respond to comments! I really appreciate people dropping by on my fics and I want to thank them. Also over time it's been a great way to meet people in the fandom. I've made friendships that started with comments on each other's fics. It makes me feel like I'm part of a fandom community rather than just posting fic into the void.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

None of my fics have angsty endings. Despite having written horror and dark endings in my non-fandom writing, so far within fandom I've written with the goal of a happy-ever-after ending for my favourite ship. 'The Sea Torn Hearts' ending could be sadder in a sense, though Killua and Gon are happy, only because of what was necessary for Killua to achieve freedom.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

They all end happily :DDD Happiest? Maybe my first fic, 'Kiss Me Better', because that's the purest, shippiest fic I've written, with the sole purpose of putting my heart back together after the anime.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not hate, no. Someone got mad at me for killing off a character even though I'd said in the tags in advance that that character would die. Recently I read someone's bookmark in another language that said that fic was boring and old-fashioned. I had to wonder why they bothered bookmarking it.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yes, whatever kind I think will be most fun for the particular story. But I find it hard to write pwp, so the smut is usually part of longer work. I have one short smut fic that was published in a fandom zine that I should also put on Ao3, but I keep thinking I'd like to edit it again before I post. Then I think that'll take me away from my current fic where people are waiting on me to post chapters, so I work on that instead. I really should get around to posting the short one.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No! I haven't written any crossovers although there's one draft fic (my Edwardian one if anyone remembers me mentioning it) that had scenes inspired by 'Maurice' (the 1987 movie version) in it - that ended up nothing like those scenes.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not an entire fic. Sadly a fandom friend took some of my writing from both one of my fics and some rps we'd done together, and put that in their fics. I saw it to my shock. It was paragraphs and sentences of my writing translated into their work. I talked to them about it, and they took the work down and also deactivated their accounts.

It was a real shame bc they were a decent writer with great ideas of their own who I think just felt insecure about their own words. When they'd asked, I'd given them some basic editing tips that most writers know, nothing magic. But they seemed to think that took genius they didn't believe they had. They were wrong. I wish they'd just persevered. They were a better writer than they thought and their work was fun.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? No.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not a fic. I've worked in a group on some co-written chapter books for middle school readers, which were eventually published, but I decided that wasn't for me in the end. Co-writing fic would be very different, though.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

Killugon (didn't see that coming)

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

My Edwardian fic. The stupid part is that I wrote the draft right up to the climax, and had the rest planned. But then my chronic hand issues struck me down for the first time. I had to abandon it for a while. I could barely touch a keyboard without severe pain. After a long time and a lot of struggle I have my ability to type back, but in that period, I abandoned that fic. It's a shame because I really liked some of the ideas there. I'd love to rewrite it, but the draft is 95K already and I don't know how I'd find the time.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Based on comments, I think world-building. In a way, that's not surprising, because before I wrote fic, I was writing original science fiction and fantasy stories (just learning, only a few short stories published). So, I enjoy creating worlds and I deliberately aim to transport people as they read. My goal was to mesmerise my readers and I've worked on techniques to hopefully achieve that.

Other strengths… I don't know! Lol. Sometimes people say they enjoy the dialogue, sometimes they mention enjoying the characterisation. I guess it's all a matter of taste and opinion, but i'm always hoping to improve on everything.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I've always wanted to write something funny! I've tried to learn how to write comedy, but when I follow techniques for that, I feel like I often fail. So, when I do write something I think is funny, I lean into it, because I really want to learn how to do that better! With my current WIP, I've made a conscious effort to try to generate more humour. I'm hoping practice helps.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I'd try to find someone who spoke that language to write it for me (translate my effort) or to vet it. I've no objection to it in principle, if there's a good reason for including it.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Hunter x Hunter.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

Whatever one I'm currently working on is always my favourite. So that's 'The Wishing Hunt'. For me, because I'm publishing as I write, because it grew from votes, that fic is still taking me on the journey and can still surprise me, even though I'm doing the writing.

Tagging: DC has already tagged everyone I'd tag! But I'll tag those I know again plus an extra: @xyliane, @cyberflamingo, @fireolin, @autumnxsunflower, @murderkitten666, @radiohahas

[bubblesandgutz]

Every Record I Own - Day 779: Various artists Plot

The first record I ever played on was the first Botch 7", released in part by a straight edge guy named Wally Young who had just gotten out of the military. Wally had been stationed in Germany, and when he returned to the states he came back with a small distro of German hardcore records. The more traditional-sounding German hardcore stuff wasn't my thing (Nations On Fire seemed to be one of the bigger German hardcore bands of the time, and I couldn't manage to get into 'em). But Wally also had the Acme 7", and that record blew my mind. It was so savage---a bulldozer of Slayer-inspired leads and crushing riffs.

It was that new era of German hardcore that I found exciting. And perhaps the best document of that particular scene was this compilation LP released as a benefit for a German hardcore zine called Plot. I have no idea if the Plot zine ever really took off, and I'm not sure if their lone venture into releasing music was particularly successful (though Thou did make a t-shirt featuring the same woodblock print from this album cover), but as far as I'm concerned, this is one of the best hardcore compilations of the '90s.

It's got a few artists I've mentioned here in the past, like Acme, Dawnbreed, Luzifers Mob and Golgatha. It's also got Acme-affiliated grind band Systral, the violin-backed Cwill, arty hardcore staples Ambush (who would briefly feature Tom Rusnak of Rorschach / Kiss It Goodbye on bass), the Great American Steak Religion-affiliated metal-core outfit Mine, and a host of other interesting forward-thinking hardcore bands. The big curveball is the final track by Bohren. The name and song didn't mean much to me until the early 2000s, when they began releasing music under the name Bohren & Der Club of Gore. Though the Bohren track on this comp was a pretty mellow affair compared to the other songs, it still bore more of a resemblance to underground rock music than the dark, glacial-paced minimalist jazz they would become famous for. So if nothing else, this is a pretty interesting artifact of their modest beginnings.

Ultimately, the whole comp is a scorcher. Aside from Acme and Bohren, these bands may not have gone on to garner the kind of cult following many of their stateside peers attained, but that just means these bands are even more underground and mysterious, right?

[sweetdreamsjeff]

dara's story...

Okay, so I've been informed that you guys do want to hear my long "how i met jeff" story (stories), so here goes.

My friend Fatin (also a subscriber) and I decided to go to a Velocity Girl show at a place called Maxwell's in Hoboken, NJ (go there if you're ever in the area-great place! wanted to move in there for awhile). A band with the name Sunny Day Real Estate was opening up for them and I clearly remember Fatin and I standing outside of Maxwell's looking at the list (they posted the list of upcoming shows on the outside double doors) to see who was going to open up for VG now that we had the tix, and laughing at the name because it sounded so funny! Sunny Day Real Estate! Haha!

Well, we were excited for the show anyway (we were-or at least I was-obsessed with going to as many shows as possible and seeing any band that I'd barely heard of). I was doing a 'zine at the time with my writings and poetry which had my name and address on them. I brought a camera to the show so I could take pix for the next issue of my 'zine which I had decided to make less personal and more music related b/c no one wrote to me (well not no one as you will see). So I went into the show and was won over by the amazing SDRE! I didn't even want to see VG after that (well, actually I did b/c I was curious to see them live). I couldn't believe how the band just hypnotised me! I understood sex, drugs and rock & roll, or I had thought I did, but I had just been thinking of it in a Mick Jagger and Madonna wink wink type of sexuality. I was amazed by how this band had just so much sexuality to them that was not forced. It very much had to do with a love of music on theri part and a love of performance. They were definitely the type of band that I think get off from performing. So I took a lot of pictures, especially of the lead singer just because he was also quite amazing, he was right in front of me, and yes, because he was (and still is) gorgeous.

Well, they ended and VG came on (actually i sat next to Sarah Shannon on the stage for like 5 minutes and couldn't think of a single thing to say-still thinking of SDRE I think) and then they were done (not even half as amazing as SDRE-sorry). I talked to Jeremy a bunch afterwards b/c this girl named Lizzy started talking to me b/c she wanted to get copies of the pix I was taking and so I was talking to him "for her." Well after I talked to him, and Dan and Nate And William (Wm. is a flirt but really cute in person and very funny to watch while drumming-look at all the faces he makes) I went outside the concert hall (there's a restaurant there too) and started talking to some guy along with my friend when who should I spy not ten feet away but Juliana Hatfield. So I went over to talk to her. I wasn't like "wow!" b/c I had just met Evan D. recently at a signing (so cheesy I know, but hey I couldn't resist. He signed a picture I drew of him. We were the first to see him with buzzed hair. Real reason it was buzzzed? He and a friend got drunk and decided to buzz his hair-May 17 was the day of that signing, the day before he went to Cali for the MTV Beach thing)) and I actually disliked Juliana a lot at that point b/c she had recently been on the cover of Spin (long hair, white background) and she had said that she knew of no girls that could play guitar well and my feminism was offended. So I went up to her with the attitude of "oh well, another famous person to add to my collection." She was nice though and she took my 'zine and I asked her if she was here to see VG and she said "No, SDRE." Well, that was about it. Imagine my surprise when one day my mom hands me my mail and the return address says J. Hatfield. No, I'm not kidding. She asked me for copies of the pix of Jeremy which I sent to her and she wrote a lovely little note in reference to my 'zine. Suckered! I liked her now! (I also reread that article and she said "...except Bonnie Raitt, who was the female I had been thinking of, and the only female I could think of so my feminism wasn't offended anymore as much as shocked at the truthfulness of the statement). So I gladly sent her the not-so-great pix (forgot the flash at home-oops) and a letter. She did write back a thank you note. So when I found out she was having a show on June 2nd, 1995, at Roseland Ballroom (in NYC) I got tickets and so did Fatin. Last minute (and I really mean last minute), I called and asked for a back-stage ticket and she gave me one!! I guess it was a return favor. (I forgot to ask for one for Fatin but more on that later). I was ecstatic.

Oh yeah, opening for her was this guy named Jeff Buckley whose picture I had seen on the cover of this really thick magazine whose name I can't remember (not something that's a well-known magazine), and Fatin had told me about him so I was curious and excited to see him too. We got to the show and I stood on line (Fatin with me) for the backstage pass and who should happen to be just a few people behind me but Mr. Dando himself who I had a big crush on at that time (it was b/c Kathleen Hanna of Bikini Kill, the only other one to write me back about my 'zine after I met her after a Rock For Choice show and got backstage to ask her to speak to the newlly formed Gender Equities club at my school and gave her my 'zine too, sent me a 'zine that she was doing then -I think- about her love of Evan Dando and why and other things in her life that I won't mention). Fatin told me to go up to him but I couldn't and I didn't want to lose my place in line. Besides, if he was going to be backstage and I was too, we'd get to talk later.

So we went through the line and (the ticket guy was the same guy who had been at another show that I had free tix to but had forgotten my ID but had let me in anyway so this time I showed him my ID and said "see, I wasn't lying!") went inside, and I went to the platform stage for those with backstage passes and poor Fatin was on the side (I'm so sorry Fatin!) I watched Jeff's show and liked it but I wasn't totally paying attention to it b/c some women invited me to sit in a seat until their friends got back, and one of those friends was Janet Billig (she used to manage Nirvana, Hole, Evan, Smashing Pumpkins and signed them all-I think. She's now Vice-President of Atlantic Records at 29 and she's the one who Courtney Love said at one of her shows a couple of years ago, -paraphrasing here- "Don't fuck with Janet Billig cuz I'll have to fuck with you!" or something like that. There was an article about her in Spin I believe like 3 years ago - it was on my friend's wall), so I was really excited and nervous because this blond woman had come over and I had thought it was Janet so I kept switching my attention between her and Jeff (wasn't Janet by the way).

At the break between bands I went to the bathroom which was backstage (ran into Lewis Largent who used to host 120 Minutes before Matt Pinfield, who I had met at a previous show. Really really nice guy but very shy. He remembered me though!). Well, everyone went downstairs too, so that was weird and cool. I don't remeber this period to well but I do remember seeing Jules before she went on. After the bathroom I got on the corner of the side stage platform (can't really describe it sorry, but it was a very good spot to see the show) and danced through Jules entire set with my new friend Cristy (who looked a bit like Jules and was from Texas and her boyfriend who looked like Thurston Moore and worked at Reprise). After the set and before the encore I went back to the pit where Jules had just come off stage (was very easy then-they have since closed up that area :0( ) and watched her and Evan cutely give each other a big smooch (no tongue. by the way, Evan had a girlfriend who was tall and had brown hair and glasses and I think was his girlfriend. Sorry she wasn't the groupie type and not Mia Kirshner with whom Evan had just gone to her (MK's) opening for that movie she was in where she played a stripper who dressed in school girl outfits who this guy became obsessed with. haven't seen that girl -not MK- since) before Jules went back on for the encore.

After the show I wheedled the guard to let Fatin come backstage (right before that who should I knock into but PAUL MCCARTNEY!! and HIS WIFE! NO JOKE!!) even without a pass, and they let her. I was planning on taking her to meet him b/c I knew it would make her REALLY happy.

Well, we found Jeff looking passed out and sweating right by the stairs off the platform that go towards the backstage but not in the downstairs backstage part sitting on the floor drinking a water bottle and talking to some girl standing up. I said "Good show" he said "Thanks" and then I asked him if he knew where Jules was and he said probably downstairs. I said thanks and we left. Fatin couldn't say anything (I don't think) and at that moment I decided he was pretty cute and talented and I liked him too. Oy vey. Well, we went downstairs and looked for Jules and she told me about SDRE being on the Batman Soundtrack and I gave her my new 'zine issue and she said thanks and went back to talking to her friends. She is very shy and not too comfortable with people she doesn't know, but when she's with her friends she's really comfortable it seems and outgoing and fun. Well, Fatin and I floated around like lost (if you don't know anyone in the biz- and I do mean the business side of it, it can be really uncomfortable and boring) souls, although I talked to Tanya Donnelly (wearing a very cute and cool outfit I remember. Very nice WOMAN, 5 feet tall just like me). I then remember going over to wear Jeff was talking to some chicks with Fatin and we talked to him, standing not two feet from him. He was flirting completely. He gave me a water bottle (he was drinking one too and I asked him where he got it and he just handed me one. I had forgotten that Fatin and I had bought one earlier but oh well, I'll take a water bottle from Jeff anytime, even if I'm drowning), and I lit a cigarette (Newport). He said "Ooh, Menthol" and shared the cigarette with me!! A little later Evan Dando came by and wanted a cigarette and looked to Jeff who looked at and pointed to me and I gave Evan a cigarette and lit it for him off of mine! It was a miracle I seriously believe that I actually lit the cigarette and not something else! Hell, with Jeff and Evan standing around paying atttention to you, wouldn't you have missed? I didn't thank g-d!)

Well Evan left us and he said something really weird like "yeah, i pretended i just did coke" or something like that. don't quote me on that ok? (Evan has a really weird sense of humor. You know that sense of humor where you know you should say something in response but you just aren't on that wavelength yet and you just don't get where they are coming from -much like my sense of humor, which is a big part of the reason that Fatin and I became friends- well that's what Evan's sense of humor is like). The other two women who were hanging in our little circle I don't remember much except one who was tall, thin, black, and looked REALLY familiar, but I still don't know where from! No she wasn't a model (although Melissa auf der Maur was there too - and flirting a bit with Jeff or trying to be near him so no Courtney didn't lie that she had a crush on him - and I knew she looked really familiar but I couldn't figure it out where I knew her from so I thought she was a model till it dawned on me who it was). Well, this particular girl had a broken arm and I asked her how it happened and our Jeff quiped "Masturbating accident." Heehee. He's got a great sense of humor I think.

Well, guess what happened just after that? The clock struck 12:30am (Fatin and I both had Achievement tests to take the next morning!! argh! so we had to be out of there by 12:30) and my MOM came down!! No joke (unfortunately)!! You should have seen the look on Jeff's face when he saw her (and mine!) We had to leave and so I like turned and grabbed his arm with my hand behind my back and said (somewhat jokingly) "No! Don't make me go!" And so we left. I don't blush but I sure as hell was after that (well, it wasn't as bad as when my dad came looking for me after the Pearl Jam show-but that's a whole 'nother story!). Oh, my mom told me later that when she tried to get in (we had agreed to meet at the front doors but they were locked so my 'rents went around to the back doors where a shitload of kids were standing outside with guards and a security block thing, and the guards originally wouldn't let my mom in but then she said that she had a sixteen year old in there -whoa! I was 16!?!? forgot about that!- who had to take the SAT's tomorrow and he let her in - why?!?! - to the jealousy of all the kids outside! When she went downstairs, somebody looked at her and said "uh oh party's over" and my mom replied "do I look that much like a mom?" to which they then replied "uh huh!"). Then we went home and I've been unhappily ever after ever since. Until Lollapalooza.....

But that's Part 2 of the "How I Met Jeff Story" which I'm going to have to write another time because I've been happily procrastinating for way too long now. The last of the name-dropping of that night is that I think Eric Erlandson was there too but not with Drew and only for a short time if he was.

write me if you have any comments, questions, etc.

love to everybody, dara

[flyingwargle]

mid-year reflection

now that we're more than halfway through the year, just wanted to make a small post about how things have been and will go for the rest of the year (since tumblr is a blog site-ish and i can write blog-ish posts haha)

burnout is real, let me tell you. after the genshin content creator program died back in february, i, along with many other creators, stopped creating regularly. the monthly rewards were a great incentive and the amount received was generous (it was more than one 10-pull, and that's all i can say). i also got tired of genshin but still play regularly out of habit, but when it comes to writing new content or posting a new fic every month, i haven't been able to keep up.

another factor that comes into play is zine participation. i was accepted into seven different zines in the first half of the year and writing for all of them took a lot of time and energy. i decided to retire from zines because i'd rather work on my own writing. all of the zines are at varying stages of creation, preorders, or production, and so far, only one (ad oblivione) has reached me physically.

something else is also my participation in my writing program. it's broadened my perspectives and allowed me to play with different genres and forms that would not be popular in fanfiction, and i'd rather devote more time toward my dream of publication than write fanfic. this is why i've posted more drabbles lately - small, bite-sized ideas that are quick to write. since we have the summer off, i hope to finish off 1 or 2 drafts sitting in my files to post, but it won't be until after the program is finished, along with my zine deadlines, that i can focus on my own writing again.

finally, it's my declining interest in pairings, xiaobedo especially. there was petty drama in the community, which led me to block a bunch of people and mute others. i still love their aesthetic and truly appreciate their parallels (i bought matching prints of them at a convention recently!) but when it comes to writing new content, i don't feel the spark anymore. the ao3 tag was also filled with explicit fics at a time so i stopped checking it regularly. i have an idea for them that i plan to be my last piece of xiaobedo content. it was going to be a fic with art, as part of the rarepair big bang, but my artist partner dropped out and i followed suit. i'll keep the outline, just in case.

come september, i'm starting my librarian program. it's a two-year intensive program so i'll be back to part-time work and full-time school. i'm not sure how much time i'll have to write, but i hope i'll be able to do so during my commutes, mostly drabbles. i'm excited to learn more about lyney, lynette, and freminet and continue writing wanderer and scarameow. i also hope to write more star rail in the future, too. maybe some pokemon, since i was accepted into two pokemon zines.

overall, i've been pulled in many different directions when it comes to my writing and ideas, which often leads me to do write nothing. i haven't had a proper writing break since 2020 after finishing my novel, where i forced myself to not write and do something else (i.e. watch anime and play octopath during the pandemic). maybe i'll do that once my program is over. we'll have to see what the rest of the year will bring <3

[rockinlibrarian]

ao3 wrapped [writers edition]

This was an Ask Game Thingie from a couple weeks ago, but it's a yearly round-up thing, and Back In My Day on LiveJournal we used to pass around surveys like this and answer EVERY QUESTION, whether or not anybody Asked you any, and Year-End ones were great for, you know, wrapping up the year, and ultimately led me to writing full Year-End Wrap-up Posts that span a ton of different categories-- this year's coming later this week! So I've gone and filled out this whole thing because it's MY year-end wrap up and I can do it my way and have it on my blog like so!

How many words have you written this year? The word count on AO3 for 2022 says 51,282, but I assume this includes ALL the words of “Exploration of the Astral Plane” still even though only 3 of the seven chapters were actually published this year, and most of those were also WRITTEN last year. Likewise, I’ve WRITTEN a whole lot of words this year that have not been published yet (and will they ever be, one wonders?) So, grain of salt it.

2. How many works did you publish this year? Seven total listed works. That includes three new chapters of one work I originally published last year (see previous question) and three chapters of a work I haven’t completed yet (see next question). Five self-contained works (a couple of which have two chapters, but at least I published both this year. Wait, that’s a lie: “Chapter 2” of “Everything I Know About Writing the Loudermilk Twins” is actually the essay I put in the “Memory Work” Zine a few years back). Anyway, there are seven individual titles listed under 2022 on AO3.

3. What work are you most proud of (regardless of kudos/hits)? “A Captain With Seven Children”— because first off the concept is brilliant and kept getting more brilliant as I wrote, but can one really take credit for concepts, specifically considering I just happened to dream this one? But I took this seemingly-crack concept seriously, and that’s what led to bringing the inherent brilliance of it out. Secondly, it’s both so much fun and a nifty challenge to take the script of one of my favorite movies and see how it can be adapted to fit characters of a completely different time and culture and— only slightly different situation? One would think it’s a REALLY completely different situation, but the fact that it’s not SO far off after all is part of what makes it so much fun.

4. What work of yours has the most hits? “Not Just Stupid Kids,” which is ironic because I originally posted it anonymously. It would also have the most kudos if you discount what I believe is a weird glitch on somebody’s bookmark of “Chapter 19.5: Hidden. Safe. Somewhere,” which, don’t get me wrong, is a perfectly nice little fic, but it’s a throwaway interstitial thing for Legion which has a teeny fandom anyway, and there’s NO WAY it could get that many kudos naturally when there are so many better Legion fics to choose from. Apparently if you’re not signed in, you can kudo as a guest as many times as you want? And there’s one guest I believe has been through all my Legion fics multiple times this year, and kudoed them every time. But perhaps every time they open the link to “Chapter 19.5” it automatically kudos it again. This is the only sensible explanation.

5. What work of yours got more feedback than you expected? CLEARLY “Not Just Stupid Kids,” considering, like I said, I first posted it ANONYMOUSLY. Normally I post a ton of links on social media when I post something on AO3, “Hey everybody, come READ WHAT I WROTE!” but since I was embarrassed by that one (it’s a non-canon ship! I don’t DO those!) I didn’t. And somehow THAT one took off completely. I pondered, is it because it’s a ship? People follow specific ships? But the non-anonymous sequel has gotten a fraction of the reaction. Which can only lead me to conclude one thing: MAYBE IT’S ME PEOPLE DON’T LIKE.

6. Favorite title you used: Hmmm. I’m kind of torn: I liked coming up with a Community-formatted title, but I couldn’t decide between “Introduction to Eternal Crossover” and “Introduction to Infernal Crossover” so I combined the two, but I actually like either of the two separately better than the combination I went with in the end. So it’s more like my favorite potential title. I’m also strangely fond of “High on a Roof Stood a Lonely Seven,” which is the next chapter of “A Captain With Seven Children,” but is, barring miracles, not going to be actually posted until 2023.

7. If you use song lyrics, which artist’s songs did you pull from the most? Speaking of which, that would be Rodgers and Hammerstein. And that only because I’m specifically parodying “Sound of Music” lyrics. I hadn’t noticed that so many people name their stories and chapters after song lyrics until after I made this decision, and now I’m like, Come ON, at least MINE is a DIRECT reference to the story I’m writing.

8. Pairing you wrote the most for this year? Fiktor, ie Five and Viktor Hargreeves, ie the ONLY pairing I wrote this year, with a grand total of TWO. Non-canonical and should be completely ridiculous, so basically both fics are me trying to work out WHY the heck I love the concept of them together so much.

9. Favorite pairing you wrote for this year? Well that goes without saying, then, doesn’t it?

10. What work was the quickest to write? If Scrivener history is to believed, I created the file for “Not Just Stupid Kids” —called “Unrelated Fiktor”— on July 31, and according to AO3, I published the first part (which I thought would be the whole thing) on August 1, so apparently I really WAS just trying to get it out of my system. I ended up adding “chapter” 2 on August 8, which ties it at 8 days with “Intro to Eternal/Infernal Crossover.”

11. What work took you the longest to write? “Exploration of the Astral Plane,” which according to my Scrivener history I started writing on 3/29/2020, and finally finished in September this year. Granted, it’s also seven chapters long, but I also apparently started writing the last chapter on 3/15/2021. That last chapter was close to finished for a very long time. It was just the penultimate chapter that was taking so long.

12. How many WIP’s do you have in your docs for next year? Well, I count six unfinished stand-alones in Scrivener, and a couple more in Word (those are the OLD ones), and two multi-chapters that have already started being posted but just need to be finished. But whether they’ll specifically happen NEXT YEAR? We’ll see.

13. What’s your longest work of the year? Technically “Exploration of the Astral Plane” at 13,008 words, but not all those words were published this year. Only 5,417 words were, and about a third of those were written last year. So “A Captain With Seven Children” steals with 11,371 words published so far, and that’s only halfway done.

14. What’s your shortest work of the year? “Introduction to Infernal and Eternal Crossover” at 1,263, which edges out “Chapter 19.5” by 7 words.

15. What WIP are you taking into next year with you? Is this a different question from #12?

16. What’s your most common “Additional Tags” tag? “Backstory”— this is true both for this year and total. Some people write fanfiction to imagine characters’ futures— I tend to write it to figure out their pasts. Go figure.

17. Your favorite character to write this year? I was going to say Oliver Bird out of force of habit and then I realized I haven’t actually written much for Oliver this year, considering he was unconscious for most of it.* My real answer when I think of it is probably Hypnos God of Sleep, but I haven’t actually finished that fic yet, even though it was supposed to be a quickie (it’s almost done! But LIFE happened). As for characters that aren’t basically OCs (yes I didn’t invent Hypnos, but I did invent his personality for my story), writing the Hargreeveses as children is always fun. Peeling back the later influences on their personalities to the roots of who they are, including things that hint at future developments— and also they’re funny. *I just re-read Chapter 6 of “Exploration,” which is the one chapter I wrote ENTIRELY this year, and Oliver actually spends a good portion of that awake and active and delightful, for probably about as many lines as Hypnos, so maybe he counts after all.

18. The character that gave you the most trouble writing this year? Huh. I guess I avoid writing characters that I can’t hear clearly in the first place. I can’t think of anyone whose voice I couldn’t get right or anything, if I can be as bold to claim that. Approaching the question from a different angle, Viktor Hargreeves. Dang his self-esteem issues. They were simultaneously “yes I relate very much to this feeling of Complete Nobody-ness, therefore it’s all too easy to write” and “UGH would you STOP already and just believe what Five and/or Maria depending on the fic is trying to TELL you?!” And as it turned out, the moment of this that bothered me the most was the same moment my beta reader Frimfram* called out, too, which just goes to show, if your characters are annoying you, they’re probably also annoying the reader. Oh, and he also has the added challenge of not realizing he was trans until he was 29 and a half, which makes the fact that I write a lot of childhood stuff an odd balancing act of pronouns. *(OH WAIT, she's on Tumblr, as @amperdash! Hi, @amperdash!)

19. What’s one pairing you want to explore next year? Look. I didn’t INTEND to explore any pairings THIS year. I’m not a shipper! And yet, hopefully I DO finally post more of or even finish “Tesseract,” which has a lot of lovely deep married-folk discussions happening between Alex and Kate, if not overtly romantic— no, some of it IS pretty romantic, especially for Demis like me who are all about deep partnership being romantic. Hey, maybe I’ll even finish the Wash/Zoe fic I started ten years ago or something. Who knows. Oh, it’s also possible for these “pairing” questions to refer to non-ship relationships, or “&”s on AO3, but I always forget to note those, anyway. Ironic, isn’t it? I’d probably have better answers if I looked at it that way. Relatedly, do you think I should go back through my fics and add the “&” tags that apply to each? They might get more attention that way.

20. Which work of yours have you reread the most? That’s a good question, and I think it’s more confusing because I reread so much WHILE I’m writing, so I’m not sure how much I reread snippets of in process and how much I read as a completed whole. Maybe “A Captain with Seven Children,” because it is fun and also I'm still writing it, too.

21. How many kudos in total did you get this year? Now, if you click 2022 on the Stats page it says 303, but I was curious, so I added up all the kudos on the seven fics I supposedly published this year, and whaddya know, 303. But the majority of the 30 kudos on “Exploration of the Astral Plane” were actually received LAST year, when the fic was first posted; and it also isn’t counting the many kudos I keep getting on “The Invitation: an Epilogue” (still holding out as my most popular fic ever) and the less-often but still coming steady “The Puppy-fly Effect” and a few other random ones on other older fics, like the guest who frequently binges the complete Loudermilk Chronicles and rekudos every one (the “Placeholder” has even gotten two kudos!); and for that matter, how can you really count the absurd extra kudos on “Chapter 19.5,” anyway? There are 80 guest kudos there and I’m certain that’s only about 5 actual individual guests. I could go back through my email notifications and add up the kudos I ACTUALLY got this year (including the random 80 guest kudos on Chapter 19.5) but that’s a bit excessive.

22. Which work has the most comments? “Not Just Stupid Kids,” clearly the most popular work published this year. Most of the comments are like “Aw, don’t let the haters who say you shouldn’t ship adoptive brothers with complicated age-issues and much mental illness force you into anonymity and shame!” and I’m like, “No, seriously, it’s not THAT part that embarrasses me, it’s the fact that they’re NON-CANONICAL and exactly the sort of pairing I would be all ‘WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE GOOD FRIENDS?!’ about any other time! Because I am freakish this way!”

23. Did you do any collaborative works this year? No, though it was lovely beta-exchanging with @amperdash. We’d get to cheer for each other! (You can read hers here: "Seong-min Ha has Superpowers"!)

24. Did you write any gifts this year? Not unless you count our Christmas card letter.

25. Did you receive any gifts this year? Not unless you count other people’s Christmas card letters.

26. What’s your most common category? Um, Gen? Like you had to ask?

27. What do you listen to while writing? I have an “Instrumental” playlist. I posted about that before.

28. Favorite work you wrote this year? I guess “A Captain with Seven Children,” but there’s a special place in my heart for “Everything I Know About Writing the Loudermilk Twins,” because they’re forever my babies.

29. Favorite line/passage you wrote this year? I think I keep coming back to this one the most, and it’s a perfect example of why writing “A Captain with Seven Children” delights me so much. To set the mood, here is the exchange as it appears in “The Sound of Music”: Maria has just arrived at the Von Trapps’ and is pretending to dance in the ballroom when Captain Von Trapp takes her by surprise saying, “In the future, you’ll kindly remember there are certain rooms in this house which are not to be disturbed.” She nervously stutters out, “Yes, captain, sir.” Then he says, “Why do you stare at me that way?” “You don't look at all like a sea captain, sir,” she says. He bites back, “I'm afraid you don't look very much like a governess.”

Now, this functions as a meet-cute— they’re taken aback by each other, she was being whimsical (which he surely needs in his life), and she’s embarrassed, and she’s staring at him because my gosh is he handsome and she was not prepared for that. But in my story this moment is absolutely not a meet-cute, but it is a first meeting that proceeds in almost the same way. Maria, being Maria, is still going to get impatient waiting and go poking around in the house; and Reggie is very much against his office being disturbed. But she’s not going to be struck dumb by how handsome he is— she’s going to be really distracted by how anachronistic he looks— old-fashioned even for her original timeline, and that was already 60 years earlier! So anyway here’s the scene:

“In the future, you’ll kindly remember there are certain rooms in this Academy which are not to be disturbed.” Maria jumped and succeeded in just barely not knocking the contraption over. “Yes, sir, Mr. Hargreeves, sir.” She gaped at the tall, thin man in the doorway. He looked like a Victorian shipping baron, with a monocle in one eye and a graying auburn goatee, a natty three-piece suit and cane. He squinted back at her. “Sir Reginald, if you please. Why do you stare at me that way?” “Well, you don’t look at all like I imagined the adoptive father of seven children, er, in the late 1990s, would look, sir.” “And how many of us have you been previously acquainted with?” “Well…none, actually.” “So I trust you will refrain from making further assumptions.” So the scene starts out almost exactly the same, in the office instead of a ballroom, but when Maria explains why she’s staring, Reggie is just GOING to react with a bit of snooty logic. And the weird thing is, I can totally hear Christopher Plummer saying it, too. I actually had to look BACK at the Sound of Music script because I wasn’t sure, anymore, which parts I wrote and which parts were from the movie. It just FITS so freaking well.

30. Biggest surprise while writing this year? BESIDES the popularity of “Not Just Stupid Kids”? WHILE writing, hmm. How many lines you can swap between Sir Reginald Hargreeves and Captain Von Trapp without being able to tell the difference!

[wuntrum]

I love your art & your style! I’m also an artist & I want to be a full time artist one day, but I'm not sure how that may look, so.. Do you do art full time? If so how does it look for you personally?

sorry if this is an intrusive question, I just want to learn more :) Thank you! have a good day!!!!

hi!! i feel like this is gonna be a long answer so i'm gonna put this under a read more haha

so being an artist full time looks different from one artist to another---there's so many different ways artists can support themselves, some methods i don't even know about! keep that in mind, as the stuff that i'm doing right now isn't the Only way to do art full time :)

right now i'm doing art full time-i'm in a weird sort of spot where i either need to just Commit and really pursue art full time, or get a job...but that latter has proven difficult with my mental health, so either i'm gonna stay full time, or get a part time job once i see a psychiatrist LOL. i'm in a very fortunate spot where my rent is cheap (for the city i live in) and my parents are able to hypothetically help me with that if i were to ever need it, so that's certainly a factor in how i went from graduating -> freelancing. (i did also work a full time job back in july/august, and that money has helped me with doing art full time too).

my main income is through commissions---i've been doing album covers mostly, but i think for the future i want to explore getting an agent and representation so i can start doing bigger jobs like book covers and that sort of thing. i don't loooooove doing commissions to be honest---i love my clients, especially the ones who i've worked with over and over again, they mean the world to me---but in terms of actual fulfillment through art, i don't feel super fulfilled doing that. so long term, i'd ideally like to not take on as much commission work, or at least only do the stuff that i'm really excited about, y'know?

along side that i have some other "passive" income (i put passive in quotes because there's obviously still work that goes into setting them up lol), mainly my inprnt shop and instagram reels. inprnt has been a HUGE lifesaver because i don't have to ship any of the prints myself, and the profit margin's a lot bigger than other print-on-demand services like redbubble (it's not perfect; you have to wait a month for transactions to clear, and there's a certain threshold you have to make before you can withdraw the money...and it takes like a full week for it to actually show up in your paypal but i digress). getting people to buy the prints is the hardest part, but if you can do that, it's great! (it took me years to get my first pay out on inprnt, but now i can do it 1-2 times a month) if you have a certain amount of followers on instagram you can get their reels bonus, where basically if you make reels they pay you for how many views it gets; it used to be Awesome but now its just okay, the amount of money vs amount of views ratio has gotten a lot worse (used to be able to make $180 for ~40k views, last month i got paid $115 for 140k).

something i used to do and plan on doing again is creating an online shop! people make merch of all types; i've personally dabbled in zines and prints, i'd love to make more stickers and apparel. now this definitely has some things you need to consider: there's a lot of cost involved in actual manufacturing, getting the stuff you need to ship orders, buying shipping labels, etc. etc....i would recommend starting small, like just selling stickers + shipping them with normal USPS stamps, to get used to the workflow of owning your own shop. but, its definitely something to consider! if you like designing for physical products and want to actually Make things and see people WIth those things, it can be a viable avenue to explore! (i definitely plan on exploring it more, to say the least).

there's also subscription services like patreon and ko-fi, which allow you to set up a membership so that people can pay you directly and support what you're doing. if you can get people to join, i think this is great! the main issue is the actual getting people to join part...and to be honest, that's something i've struggled with myself. i thiiiink i'm gonna switch from the ko-fi i have now to a patreon, just because people seem to recognize the name more. i'm also gonna assess what i'm actually offering people, i really wanna do a postcard of the month? or maybe a zine club sort of thing? i'd recommend looking at other artists' patreons and see what they're providing, to get an idea of what that can look like. ideally, i would love to just be able to support myself through patreon and make all the silly little stuff i want to...we'll see if i can make that happen!

there's also selling originals, if you work traditionally as opposed to digitally. again, this is something i wanna get more into in the future. there's challenges to this as well, just like anything, but if you prefer to make art with physical materials, then selling that original artwork can be a great revenue stream!

in terms of social media you can also explore being a youtuber or a streamer...those have a lot of moving parts, and you really need to commit in order to see success in those fields, but if you like producing/editing videos or like the performance/live community aspect of streaming, that's something to look into as well! those people make most of their money through sponsorships / things like patreon, but having that additional revenue stream of adsense or twitch subs can't hurt!

another thing to keep in mind is that this sort of stuff can vary a lot from month to month! i won't be seeing the actual pay out until november (or maybe december? honestly don't know LOL) but i'm part of the shortbox comics fair this month, so that's another source of revenue that i didn't/don't have access to beyond october! the amount of, for example, support you get for a new launched product, or how well a piece performs (which then leads to people buying prints of it), or how many people reach out to you for freelance work changes a lot from one month to the next. my biggest piece of advice if you want to pursue art full time is to have as many different sources of income as possible! that way, you can account for the inherent instability of freelancing, instead of not being able to pay your bills because no one's buying your stickers right now.

i hope this helps!!! and i hope all the financial talk wasn't too dread-inducing 😭 i'd definitely recommend asking other artists too and getting their feedback; like i said at the start, "full time artist" looks different from one artist to the next <3

[leecherish]

1, 2, 3, 6, 9, 10, 12 15, 17, 20 from the deep writer asks <3

1. what's the fic youre most proud of?

hmm, right now? might be "the price of growth", it went through a lot of iterations, and i'm really satisfied with the end result! the entire fugo zine was such a nice and pleasant experience, i think i gained a lot from it <3

2. what's a fic that took you to an emotional/dark/hard place?

"a brand new doomsday" is a fairly old fic by now, but it was a very mentally exhausting process to write that one. i needed to dissect my own relationship with grief pretty thoroughly, which is why it remains probably my rawest fic (even though i'm not that proud of it anymore). more recently probably "if not in this life then maybe in the next", although i would rather phrase it as me writing it as a result of being in a dark place emotionally. same with "the eyes deceive". there's a lot of unspoken parts of myself in those ones haha.

3. what fic are you emotionally attached to?

oh, all of them! but if i had to pick just one, it would probably be "the eyes deceive". like i just mentioned, i wrote that after the hardest winter of my life, and it can be seen on a lot of its aspects. ofc it's still a fanfiction, not a vent post, but let's just say bruno's "i want to escape from this body... or at least make it my own" came from. a Place

6. what's the hardest part of the writing process for you?

editing hell. i've become pretty proficient at banging out loose first, second and third drafts, but the process of making it consistent and flow well is always a lot of painful and hard work >_< i need to somehow improve myself when it comes to this, because right now, the aspect of having to edit anything over 10k just feels... literally impossible haha.

9. what's your writing process like?

that’s a difficult question to answer. it really depends on various things, such as my mental state, how much time i have, etc... but if i had to simplify and generalize it as much as possible:

get the idea for a fic

write a loose draft of what i want it to contain, maybe some scene fragments or pieces of dialogue that appeared in my head

sleep on it, sit down to refine it, continously adding new details. minimizing the research at this stage, as well as looking for the perfect synonyms. that can come at the editing phase

connect the standalone scenes one way or another. finish draft,

enter editing hell. put on a three-hour piano/post-rock/lofi hip-hop/whatever helps me focus in that moment. suffer. take breaks.

once finished, bask in the euphoria then sleep on it.

proofread it one last time then if i decide to post it, forward it to my beta and then post it to ao3. experience the greatest high of life.

idk if this is useful for anyone sgdshdg if you have any specific questions about my writing process then idk. shoot

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

oh, it’s a great outlet for various things! it helps me to express things i struggled expressing, gives me a place to put the emotions that are difficult to deal with. in other words, it’s cathartic, even if i don’t end up posting it. and most of all, it’s connecting with people. knowing that people read my fics and get something out of it, be that a smile or perhaps even a tear, it’s unimaginable and insanely flattering, not to mention getting comments or fanart! it really made me feel like i left some sort of mark on the fandom and in this world, as sappy as it sounds.

12. What’s your perfect environment to create/write?

hmm i can write basically anywhere tbh. but i do really like having a hot drink nearby at all times!

15. How do you think your writing as improved over time?

hard to say! but i think my unsage of the language improves with every piece i write. i think i particularly improved a lot when it comes to descriptive text and metaphors, i used to be shy with those. and i think i’m better with pacing lately too, although that part is always difficult to estimate!

17. What’s the best engagement/interaction/feedback you’ve received from someone who’s read your work?

WHEW how could i mention just one. receiving fanart blows my mind every time, it’s like, you mean the words i wrote, projected an image into your head??? AND you drew it?? it’s bonkers!! same with people writing comments, i don’t get a lot of them (i doubt any writer my scale does), but i save all of them and occasionally reread them when i need a little pick-me-up <3 but the most memorable interactions i possibly had is when one time i would mention a fic of mine on twitter, and people would go “YOU WROTE THAT??”. it really made me feel like i have reached the people i wanted to reach, and that is such a precious feeling!

20. What’s the greatest gift you’ve gotten from your writing?

believe it or not, i can actually feel my writing abilities paying off whenever i’m writing assignments for school LOL. i just do the same thing as i would do with a fic, first i bang out the draft, and then continously refine it... i’m grateful for all the experience i accumulated thanks to writing, it really helps me out in these cases! but most of all, like i mentioned before, it’s the connection that i establish with it, with my friends and everyone who reads my fics. it’s a teeny-tiny community of its own! posting my fics online and having people read them makes me feel heard and understood, and most of all, accepted. sappy again i know, but i wasn’t always given these things during some of my life stages! but it was good to learn that those never last, and ultimately, all of us deserve to make their voice heard etc. cheese cheese cheese

[mydaroga]

Share 10 facts about yourself and then pass this on to your 10 favorite mutuals!

I can't resist talking about myself, but I have no idea what, if anything, anyone might find interesting about me. Factually. So I'll try to stick to stuff that's of potential interest to fandom folk? I guess?

I've been in fandom a long time, and remember early message boards on Prodigy and the era when you went online so you could join zine mailing lists.

My first fandoms were Sherlock Holmes and Phantom of the Opera.

I've played Sherlock Holmes on stage. Twice!

As implied above, I'm also an actor and I produce theater locally and acting is a great joy to me.

I've had lots of cool jobs like working at a science museum, salmon hatchery, and performing laser shows, because I have never had any common (fiscal) sense or interest in making money.

I've traveled the entire Erie Canal by boat. Actually I took a boat from Michigan to Washington, DC.

I thought the Beatles were highly overrated and kinda boring until last year. Or maybe really this year. Mostly because of the way I heard people talking about them all through my youth. But I have always loved music, been in bands, etc.

I've lived in every corner of the US and briefly outside it, and road tripped extensively but not as much as I'd like. I think there are three states I've not visited: Nebraska, Iowa, and North Dakota.

I believe in giving people the benefit of the doubt and genuinely think most people are doing their best, but I'm stupid hard on myself and extremely susceptible to self-doubt and second-guessing.

Part of me still wishes I'd gone on to (actual) grad school and become a film history professor.

[frogsandfries]

I have a great idea!!

I got my Stitch Fiddle sub back up a couple days ago; I've been focusing on getting the pages of the zine compiled. But I was just about done, and my lineworks were organized in a folder on my phone, so it was time to get some more lineworks uploaded to Stitch Fiddle today.

Which reminded me.............

In the premium, you can change whether your pattern has lines, and there's another setting where you can take the symbols off and just have colors.

Which got me wondering..... what if........I took the lines and symbols off........?

I'm so glad you asked! This:

This is what happens! Pixel art!!

Which personally, I thought would make a pretty cool table of contents: You could view the art consecutively, see the story, and at the same time, see the patterns.

Oh wait......I deleted the first two patterns, so I can't just download them as pixel art.........I have to rewrite them 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

I think the idea of there only being twelve frames per volume might be kind of...... excessive? Given the length this story will be if I see it through, which I passionately intend. Or, I guess even if it's something like fifty or a hundred frames or patterns per volume...... that's still a lot of pages in the end. I'm wondering, I meant this to be more like a zine, but I wonder if twelve patterns is enough. Six pages for the table of contents, twenty-four pages of patterns, not really sure where or how I want to put the color keys. If I make the key its own page, it throws off the patterns being a spread every time. I could make the keys part of the table of contents, or I could make the key a spread with some writing. Or I guess I could cover each frame with the pixel art and the key on a page. I'll figure it out. I think I'm leaning toward adding some of the original writing or some kind of summary of what's going on in each frame, to maybe help people move through the visual narrative. Eventually, I would like to have room in there for cross-stitch that I've finished, but I don't have twelve frames stitched yet. I know it doesn't really make a difference if I release it now or later, but I'd rather release it now with dummy art and revamp it later than to wait. I guess also blank pages can't hurt, a little bit of breathing room, a landing page, a space where one pattern ends and another begins......

Eh, I'll figure it out.

Over time, as I have the material, I'd really like to offer just the finished cross-stitch on its own, of course.

I really meant to be stitching frame seven by this evening lol ha ha joke's on me. Now I'm this close to releasing the first zine of patterns with a cute table of contents except I don't have the first two frames and now I have to make them all over.

I would also make a different picture frame for the pixel art, at least for this volume. I'd like a different frame for the patterns and the pixel art, for each volume. I think having even a clearly doodled frame kind of grounds the patterns on the page, rather than them just feeling stuck on the page.

I'll get it all put together here. I was thinking I'd also like to end the calender year with me having a hundred linearts, but I'm not sure if that's pushing it. I just think how I started this project last year, and I still have less than ten patterns stitched, I only have like sixty lineworks, and only about twenty patterns in over twelve months--about eighteen, actually. Even though I've been doing other things, I want to also be further on this project. So going into the new year, I want to have a good jumping off point. It'd be like Olympics level awesome to churn out fifty games next year, but I'll try to be realistic.

[mirukimary-artarchive]

"Mary's 2021 Summary of Art" - Published: Dec 31, 2021

(Warning: This is going to be a wall of text.)

January in January i was asked by a friend "Hey, i wanna learn how to make Live2D models. Wanna join?" At first i thought i couldn't do it, but in the end decided "Why not?". That's the mindset i wanted to carry through the year. Pictured is the result. I've been asked to try and complete said model, so next January will be fun! This month i also took part in a FFXIV tag on twitter, where we made fake screenshots for a dating sim. That's where i decided i wanted to try and work on a visual novel, at least once. It has always been one of my dreams after all!

February ...And so i jumped on the lemmasoft forums to look for work. Found a person making a cute little self-love tale for the Valentines Jam and figured it was a good idea to give it a try. It was so much fun. Took the challenge as far as i could, and i'm still really proud of being part of this! Still not sure if game art is for me, but felt great to finally give my dream a try. If you take anything from this text wall, let it be "Wanna do something new with your art? Try it out!"

March I think it's around this time we started playing our TTRPG game (Asera)? Ok i forget when we started, but this was the month i sat down and designed my little thief (Layla) and my boyfriend's fighter (Daimyorus). Also made designs for Layla's family. It was a rather busy month (character design is time consuming!), but nothing really 'wow' to show off for it.

April This month i drew some memes for Asera, and sketched a bunch of illustration ideas... That are still sitting there, unfinished. You see, this same month i got accepted into my first zine ever, as a merch artist! Trying new things continued to pay off~ I got stickers done from sketch to flat colors around this time.

May Finished the sticker sheet for the zine (pictured), then proceeded to take...around a week on the phone wallpapers. I restarted it so many times before... When the idea finally clicked i stayed up till 4am drawing >>;;; I was terrified I'd miss the deadline, and had an apology letter on the back of my mind the whole time LOL Thankfully, it worked out and they were delivered in time. Sadly had to skip Mermay because i was busy with miscellaneous projects (only drew 1 mermaid for it, which I wanna redraw someday). Started making little chibi faces for my OCs so i could have a catalog... Which is an idea I wanna revisit later. Having a good reference of everyone would be really nice! (...even if i never do anything with them lol)

June Asera bug bit me again, and i spent a while making chibis for our characters. Also made chibis for NPCs. Designed more NPCs. Designed some of our weapons. For work, got commissioned by a VTuber to draw them and their pet (pictured). Technically finished on July3, but worked on it most in this month so eh LOL

July I made an off-hand comment about working on commissions a month or two before, then on July my friend approached me like "Hey, so you said you're doing comms... Can I get one too?" I had! So much fun! This is also the first time i recorded my drawing process (i do have plans on making a youtube channel eventually). It made me realize i... Take a bit too long. This one was 36hs. That's a bit much LOL But hey, i'm proud of it and both friend&his girlfriend like it, so 100% worth!

August Another busy month, drew some twitch screens for a friend, updated an old drawing (xmas chibis), filled some ff14 memes, experimented with a more sketchy style so i can have a faster type of drawing (...why didn't i post it?) Pictured is the bday gift i made for my boyfriend. Still haven't posted it here, but it's on my stash somewhere >>; It's filled with love!! Maybe that's why I'm still proud of it.

September Made the final twitch screen (pictured), and designed more outfits for Asera (fashion design is indeed my passion). Cleaned up twitter and started working on a TOS so i can maybe open commissions soon... Speaking of commissions, this is when i drew the Dauntless illustration. Nature BGs are my favorite thing ever!

October A very busy month. Worked on commissions (all 6 of the characters O_O) + bunny boy for the EW countdown. The original sketch for the commissions was.....interesting....idk how that got approved LOL But the final result is something I'm very proud of! For the rest, drew more sketches and outfit designs for Asera, plus a chibi sketch to commemorate EW's release (bf's wol and mine ON THE MOON)... Having no idea it would be delayed very soon LOL

November Got into a bit of an art block, which was broken by... Asera characters as Animal Crossing villagers!! Why are drawing memes/challenges the best thing ever?? After that, i managed to start working on a commission my sister asked. Drew all of her students and their favorite toys. They're all so friggin adorable ;_; Was stressful, yes, but also a great experience. Also i think this was my first time drawing real people? Well, my first time doing that for a commission at least!

December Sadly another art-block month. Made yet another Asera sketch (bc i don't have enough of these!), and twitch badges/emotes for ADigitalKing (pictured, also sorry for the hideous watermark, but they paid for it ok TT). Currently working on twitch emotes for my friend, but struggling to have them on a quality level i'm comfortable releasing.

---

Phew, what a year! My journey for a year where i have finished art to post on every month continues, but i'm proud of how much closer i got this time. Also got to try so many new things too! Overall, a good year.

Onwards to 2022!