#this is the first time i draw a DR character. my graduation day

[samipekoe]

commissionnn

[marquisecubey]

I have a new dnd character and I’ve been drawing her so much for the past week uuuuuuhhhhhh anyway here’s sister Frenelle I named her after a type of light fixture

(Congratulations! You have clicked on the Read More and you have unlocked her long ass backstory. Enjoy this thing I sent to my dm, which I can only assume that she must have liked because she gave me a free legendary magic item lmfao. Don’t worry if you’re not up to snuff on Eberron specific lore, I catch you up on the important bits.)

The secret child of an elven nobleman and a human scholar, Frenelle Albright was born in the isolated island nation of Aerenal.

Aerenal was not a kind place to anyone who was not a full-blooded elf, and with very few flesh and blood friends to talk to, her mother's wide collection of books became her dearest companions. From an early age, the doctor saw great intelligence and curiosity in her daughter; the tomes she pulled from her mother’s shelves were leagues above her expected reading level, and by the age of eight, she could even hold entire conversations about complex historical topics.

Humans cannot wander freely across Aerenal with no reason, but it was a vital place when it came to Dr. Albright’s research. The goal of the books she was writing was to help the rest of the world gain a greater understanding of Aereni society, and to hopefully encourage them be less afraid of their open practice of necromancy. But sadly, while it was a fantastic place for a researcher, there were also very few opportunities for her bright young daughter to truly flourish and learn at her own pace. So one day, she had a difficult conversation with her daughter: For the next several years, she would stay on the island, while Frenelle would be moving across the sea to attend a boarding school in Fairhaven on her father’s coin.

Frenelle was terrified at first of being alone. She was already a terribly shy girl by nature, and the new city and climate were overwhelming. For the first month, she hardly spoke to anyone at all, not even to her teachers. However, over the next few months as she properly settled into Fairhaven, she was taken aback by how welcoming the new environment was, especially compared to the coldness of her hometown. People actually wanted to talk to her, and they remembered her name. She had peers that she could talk to about all of the math and magic and history that were bottled up for so long, and when she excelled at a topic, she was rewarded instead of scolded.

The most exciting thing about the academy was that she wasn't even the only half-elf there. Or rather, Khoravar as they called themselves, and as they called her too. The main group of khoravar who took her under their wing were a group of rambunctious kids from House Lyrandar, and it was here that she met her best friend, a boy named Leeko.

Leeko was outgoing, kind, and a bit of a hothead, but he was also passionate and smart in the same way she was. He loved all of the flying machines and massive airships that his family was building, and he talked intensely about how excited he was to pilot them one day, proudly showing off the Dragonmark of the Storm on his right hand. Despite them seeming like total opposites at a glance, the two couldn't have been closer. Every time they met up to try and study for classes, they'd end up talking for hours on end about everything from old magic to new technology. For the first time in her life, Frenelle wasn't alone.

Each year, she would return home to her mother for a couple of weeks, but as she continued to thrive in Fairview, she began to notice that the doctor was growing more isolated and depressed each year back on the island of the dead. Eventually, she was able to convince her mother to leave behind her studies, coming home with her daughter, never to return.

Frenelle quickly rose to become one of the top students in her class, graduating from her boarding school with honours and moving on to study divination magic and history at the University of Wynarn. By then, Leeko had left for the island of Stormhome to train as a pilot, but the two continued to write long, cascading letters to one another every single week.

Her unconventional background gave her a unique perspective when it came to her studies at Wynarn. This was all well and good, until it led to her constantly interrupting professors during lectures to question their biases. This was especially true when it came to the taboo field of necromancy, which she had grown up seeing as a very normal thing in her culture. Eventually, however, she quickly grew wise to the fact that if she wanted to succeed as an academic, she would need to suck up to her less worldly professors every now and again. After all, if she wanted to make her point of view known, she should attempt to hear them out as well.

While working on one of her Master's degrees, Frenelle's work ethic and passion managed to attract the attention of a temple of Aureon in Arcanix, where she was offered a position as a novice. She was hesitant to quit her studies at first, but at the urging of Leeko, who just had gotten a job as an air shuttle pilot at the floating towers, she dropped everything and accepted the massive opportunity.

In fact, the chance to see Leeko again may have been her biggest reason for moving to Arcanix, because it turns out, she had started to develop romantic feelings for him. And, as she would later come to find, he felt the exact same way. She would even learn that he had planned on marrying her, which was no small deal of course. After all, Leeko wasn’t simply just her best friend, he was an heir to House Lyrandar, the Half-Elven dynasty who controlled the rapidly growing industry of air travel across the civilized world, using the Dragonmark of the Storm that ran in their blood.

A proper, pure Dragonmark gives a person tremendous power. Most importantly to those in the twelve Dragonmarked houses, it is a predictable power. However, the same cannot be said of the unpredictable power that results when people from two different houses produce a child. Unpredictability is volatility, and volatility is danger. For the sake and the preservation of society, all marriages and sexual relations between those with different Dragonmarks are strictly prohibited.

Frenelle didn't actually notice her mark for the first few days. She had figured it was some benign skin condition, a small rash around her eye. When it didn't go away, she went to see one of the healers at the temple, who laughed when she said she had no idea what it was. When he realized she was being serious, he explained that she was a foundling, a Dragonmarked person with no previous ties to a house.

He explained that her Dragonmark of Detection was an incredible thing.

With the power of her newly manifested mark, Frenelle became an obvious standout among the rest of the clergy in ways she hadn't even thought were possible. She could look into people's thoughts, see entirely new creatures from beyond the material world. She could protect people from danger.

The royal family of Aundair was in search of a governess for their children, but not just any regular teacher would do. They needed a cleric, a person who could embody the very will of Aureon, the god of magic, knowledge, and the law itself. Their job wouldn't be just to teach, but to physically protect the future of the kingdom. And, who in the world could possibly be better for that than the gifted foundling who just landed on the steps of Arcanix?

Frenelle walked past the cockpit as she boarded the air shuttle. The pilot smiled as he called her name and waved with a childlike excitement. She lowered her head. Words that he’d never get to speak reverberated through her skull. She felt his heart sink like a rock through her own chest. He wanted to marry her.

Vows of celibacy aren't necessarily a requirement for becoming a cleric. However, many choose to take them on in an effort to avoid mortal matters clouding their judgment. It's not as though she had much of a choice in the matter. After all, when the queen who funded your schools and the god who bestowed you these powers give you a call to action, to uphold and protect the law, you listen.

So, as a cleric with a high stakes mission, Frenelle simply chose to take that mission very seriously. And you see, it's actually fine. She's fine. They're fine. It’s fine. He’s fine. They’re fine. They're all fine. She's fine. It’s fine.

[flowery-laser-blasts]

When , And how did you, Get into Kim , possible , which Top 6 episodes is your favorite.

And which is your Favorite Character is or least Favorite Character , which pairing is your Favorite and why do you like that , Pairing.?

When and how did I get into Kim Possible:

I love this show ever since the first time it got aired on TV

(2004 in my case, which is 2 years after the original release in the states).

I don't recall a lot of my childhood due to certain things, but I do remember spending my days watching Kim Possible (and other various cartoons) and drawing whenever I had little moments to myself. I struggled so much with drawing the lips hahaha, they always ended up looking like moustaches.

My top 6 favourite episodes:

1 - Emotion Sickness

2 - Dimension Twist/Rappin' Drakken/Sick Day

3 - Mad Dogs vs Aliens

4 -Stop Team Go!

5 - Graduation part 2

6 - A Sitch in Time: Future

Favourite character:

I always adored Shego ever since I remember first seeing her,

but Drakken snuck his way into my adult heart as well.

The struggle, the sadness, mr Blue has got me in a headlock.

Both of them are my favourites and one cannot be without the other. They're my 2 for 1 deal.

Mental comfort character = Dr. Drakken.

My ideal to overcome my insecurities = Shego.

Least favourite character:

Prince Wally and The Mathter: I hate royalty and I hate mathmatics.

Favourite pairing and why:

Drakgo, I love them because they're just amusing to watch.

It's like a stubborn, old married couple that feels to embarassed to admit that they like each other because "oh NO OUR IMAGE MATTERS" and one would hold it above the other's head.

They try to one up one another but together they're strongest (well, Shego's physically plenty strong by herself but that's a different story).

In show it has been proven plenty of times that they care deeply for each other, even if they don't want to admit it.

Other than that, I see a lot of banter and their dynamic in my own personal relationship and that's just funny to me.

[vvintercearig]

yo it's me (again (jay)) back at it again with no self control and my dumbass son doyun! below are the usual links and info and feel free to continue to smash that mf like button for some plotting

STATS - MEMORIES - PLOTS - PINTEREST - PLAYLIST

𝒊. 𝒑𝒓𝒆𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕 —

doyun popped up around ansong around 25 yrs ago (at least he lived thru the 90s lets gaur). he has no idea what's happening, he's just happy to be here.

he remembers a little about his life, but always drawn to music, beat street seemed like the easy answer when it came time to start working. for years, he was only working the register, stocking the shelves, before eventually working his way up the managerial ladder. he's owned beat street for around ~10 years now.

his first memory unlocked when he was attempting to tidy stuff up around his apartment and was just about to throw the band-aid away without realizing it's significance. it elicited feelings of aloneness and otherness, but also comfort and being loved and taken care of.

he can typically be found at beat street (obv, always working), mirage, the farmer's market, sweet bean, and illusion.

𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 —

doyun is a little bit paris hilton-esque. he absolutely acts stupider than he truly is (for the plot) and so he can gauge people and how they are before he decides to let them in. he is also a tactical oversharer, so while a lot of people might know a lot about doyun, it's hard to pin down his core values and personality. he is very flippant about most things outwardly even if he cares deeply. doyun!! is!! a!! fuckboy!! but not in like the toxic sense (he drinks his respect women juice tyvm) he will flirt with anyone willing and able but he is very clear about drawing the no-relationship boundary from the start. he won't lead you on. despite all his flaws, doyun is highly compassionate. it takes him a while to warm up to people fully, but once he does, you're in his circle for life. he is not shy about his affection either, platonic or otherwise. he's clingy, he's needy, he will annoy you, and you need a high tolerance for bullshit and stupidity, but doyun will fight your bullies and kiss your booboos. about the only thing doyun excels at is his encyclopedic knowledge of 80s and 90s music and ball sports. do not ask him to cook, do not ask him to fix something around your house, do not ask him the time of day, he absolutely will fuck it up. he isn't book smart (at all, like did not even graduate high school), but he is incredibly emotionally intelligent. doyun can walk into any room and almost with 100% accuracy read the vibes. tl;dr: he's a big-headed moron with a big fat bleeding heart. he doesn't know a lot and won't try to solve ur problems, but he will throw hands for u and make you laugh when you wanna cry.

𝒊𝒊𝒊. 𝒑𝒍𝒐𝒕 𝒃𝒖𝒏𝒏𝒊𝒆𝒔 —

to preface everything below, i'm v v big on chemistry first. i love plotting, but it doesn't necessarily work if our characters don't have chemistry to begin with. i tend to lead with quick and fast plotting to see what we can get our characters to do and then we can go into more detailed plotting after, but i'm always willing to discuss things regardless!!

regulars and employees at beat street!

people to teach him modern technology (with lots of patience pls he's stupid)

literally anything else honestly i'm down for a lot. he's really social and really easy to get along with.

[arbitrarygreay]

Great iyashikei requires loss. A lot of examples are self-obvious, by being post-apocalyptic (Girls Last Tour, Sora no Woto, Kemurikusa). The central character exclaiming "suteki~!" at everything manages to not be insufferable because the audience knows how much better these characters could have it. It brings peace/joy by putting the audience's first world living into perspective. Some of those "living in the countryside" type iyashikei (Flying Witch, Tamayura, Non non Biyori) is kind of doing a contrast with urban living, but I nonetheless have a harder time connecting to those shows, because they often feel more like papering over the cracks than having it as underlining subtext. From that angle (advertising rural living), a more energetic TikTok Shenanigans approach or a more nonfiction nitty-gritty approach catches my own interest better, whereas the iyashikei approach doesn't land. Another category would be supernatural beings: Natsume Yuujinchou, Konohana Kitan. Their stories involving spirits and such are full of mono no aware, keenly aware of the passage of time when juxtaposed against the inhuman. It's a horseshoe of the very long-lived and the very short-lived entities and phenomena, always mismatched against human time-scales. There's K-ON, which stands out from other CGDCT by dint of its lush KyoAni Yamada Naoko execution. The dedication to atmosphere in the day-to-day lends it the "keen awareness of the passage of time" as the previous paragraph, both in the audience and in the characters. Everyone knows that graduation is relentlessly incoming. The care paid to the liminal scenes (such as the opening to S1E13) emphasizes to the audience the careless adolescence they will never experience again quite in the same way (or never experienced in the first place). Tamayura tries too hard to have the characters verbally point these things out, which ruins the immersion. But the way to sidestep that slight unreality of the characters is to inject more of the unreal into the world. And thus, some of Tamayura's shortcomings work perfectly fine in Aria. Aria is a curious case, threatening to stubbornly counterexample my theory. Sure, some of its episodes do follow the third "tales of the supernatural" category, but much of the rest is just post-scarcity paradise living. So what allows Aria to retain its "greatest iyashikei" title? Where is the loss? Well, for one thing, I do actually find some of the most "suteki~!"-centered episodes to be a bit too fluffy, and rarely rewatch those. I've heard that the manga is stronger on that point (as is Konohana Kitan), because they can go harder on drawing the luscious settings, which therefore creates that "and you will never quite have this experience again" feeling you can get in real life from exploring a location at your own pace. So again, what makes Aria the greatest iyashkei? Simple, really. Aria's strongest episodes are when the characters actually go through with meaningful turning points in their lives, or when the characters are being openly nostalgic about the past stages of life behind them (which is reinforced by the generational structure of the cast). And finally, the whole premise of Neo-Venezia underlines everything with the fact that the author and everyone in that world are striving to re-create a lost time and place. tl;dr iyashikei that fails to land is probably because they tried to create peace via pure paradise. As with using salt and/or acid in cooking, you gotta have lack as a contrasting palate cleanser and taste enhancer, even if you're going for a qingdan style.

[marine-indie-gal]

So considering that I've introduced my Friend, @djinarocks to this Character from "Space Goofs" (whose actually one of the Central Antagonists according to its Video Game adaptation, "Stupid Invaders"), Lucien Bolok (or just only by his last name, "Bolok" cause he's only famous in "Stupid Invaders" that much unlike on how he was first introduced in the Show).

For those who might've forgotten about this Character, he first appeared in the Episode, "The Pro" where he was sent by some Mailman to hunt down some Garden Gnomes (which had been mistaken for of a Dog) and that the Space Goofs figure out a plan on how to get rid of Him from destroying their own Garden. Oh, and his Mentor is his Pet Fish (which is Silly, but hey, it's a Cartoon, so what do you expect?).

His Role in the Game however got expanded more when he was hired by Another Character in the Show from Another Episode (Dr. Saccharin from the Episode, "Zero Stuff") to capture the Aliens and bring them to the Doctor in order to have some more Money but unfortunately, being betrayed by Saccharin, he ends up ending the World through a Nuclear Bomb Rocket Ship in which the Space Goofs finally drive their way home.

In my Personal Headcanon, I see Season 1 and the Game being the Only Chronological order of the Franchise (even despite that the Game's Adult Humor is different compare to the Show's more "Family-Friendly" humor) while that Season 2 is an Alternate Universe of its Own where if Stereo was never part of the Main Gang. Even if I may grew up watching Season 2 in Childhood like I've mentioned before, I still now prefer Season 1 (even if 2 may have had some of its Good Episodes I still have doubts at looking back at my First Exposure to the Series. Granted, I don't HATE Season 2, but it's really not that bad to begin with considering that it was in the Same Era as Other Xilam Products like "Ratz" and "Tupu").

That being said, among the very First Visitors of Season 1, what really caught my attention towards both the Show and the Game was this Guy, considering on what he does on the Opposite of the Most Unwanted Guests (especially along with most of the Human Characters) feels so...Unhinged to Me. Like, OK, he may be from Another Obscure Foreign Cartoon but what really draws so much attachment to Him is how that Bolok (IMO) is seriously The Most Indifferent House Guest out of all of the Other Ex-Neighbors that the Goofs try to get rid of from their Entire Countryside of Earth. Like, he is so Mysterious (despite his Funny Moments) as he is literally a Bounty Hunter that won't stand anyone who tries to Manipulate Him in his own Way (which, honestly probably wouldn't be a Big Surprise from most Anti-Villains, but I think you get the point).

After seeing @gingaswag (Aka @gingacd)'s Space Goofs fanart on this Site, I had to took the perfect time before my Graduation started that Day as I drew a Slight Personal Interpretation of what Lucien would look like if he was an Extraterrestrial like the Main Alien Cast instead of drawing his Canonical Appearance if he wasn't born a Human. Because I've been on a major thinking of these whole "Role Swap" ideas between Two Certain Characters where if the Story was completely different in a way (which I happened to be a Massive Fan of "What Ifs"), is that What If the Space Goofs and the Humans reversed both their own Roles and Species like say where if the Goofs were the Humans lost on an Alien Planet and that they have to get themselves out of an Alien Planet but still use the SMTV to disguise themselves to blend within the Space Society just like in the Show?

I know that keeping the Original Concept would kinda be a bit 100% Boring and Cliche but I was thinking more of an "Aliens Conquer the Earth" type where if the Earth-Born Space Goofs were the Ones to stop Evil Aliens from taking over their World.

Anyway, for the drawing itself (since I used it on Paper rather than on MS Paint), I decided to make Bolok more "Death-like" as if he were to be the Galactic Personification of Death itself (since he is a Professional Bounty Hunter) with the Pink Skull Mask (that's supposed to be part of his Alien Skin) beneath his Mouth as I did added in some more Rough Scales as well as Horns and Fish Ears (as a callback to his Ex-Mentor) as I made him somewhat of a Skeleton/Fishman Alien.

The Main Inspiration behind this design probably drew a lot of the Fishman from "The Shape of Water" or a Wendigo but mostly Pedri Nanezgani from "Ava's Demon" (example of the Main Inspiration that I drew from; https://avas-demon.fandom.com/wiki/Pedri_Nanezgani) (since obviously, with an idea of Bolok as an Alien, I just can't unsee him in an AU where if he was Pedri and Nevy's Son).

It may have felt tricky to do considering that this is the Very First Time drawing a Character in an Extraterrestrial Species (even if I may be a huge sucker for the Whole "Swap" things kind of trope), but yeah.

I sorta do feel proud of this a bit, but I would like to know your own personal thoughts in the Comments or Reblogs to see if I did capture Bolok's Nature within his Alien form or not.

Lucien Bolok (c) Xilam

Alien Interpretation of Bolok (c) Me

[wrenreid]

Conflict of Interest

18+ content warning for this story. previous chapters are in masterlist:)

i’m so sorry i haven’t uploaded in forever!! also this chapter is basically just a filler:/

Chapter Sixteen: Worries and Flights

After successfully getting a heavy ass dummy over a wall, sprinting through an obstacle course, and muscle training, you lay down on the ground, breathing heavy. You were the third one to get the dummy over the wall, which is quite impressive if you do say so yourself. You pour your water bottle over your face, letting the cool liquid soothe your sweaty, red face.

Nina offers you a hand to help you up. Her brown skin is red now as well from the exercise. “Let’s go shower. I probably smell like sweaty shit.”

“Can shit sweat?” You ask as you take their hand and stand up.

“Even out of breath and tired, you must be sarcastic,” Nina rolls her eyes with a soft laugh.

“Wittiness is a character trait I hold to upmost value.”

“Ha ha.”

The two of you head up to the showers, washing the sweat and dirt from your hair and bodies.

Once you’re dressed in the blue FBI Academy and black slacks, you and Nina head to classes. It’s been a little hard for you to pay attention lately. The weight of keeping the secret of you and Spencer has been gnawing on your stomach since Nina almost caught you guys together. You’ve never kept such a big thing from the people you love before, but you keep reminding yourself that sex isn’t that big of a deal… but your thoughts are quickly shut down by the fact that having sex with your professor is indeed a big deal.

Worrying about graduating the Academy is also stressing you out. What happens if you don’t get into the Bureau and you’re left jobless? What happens if something occurs that keeps you from becoming an agent? It’s unlikely, you know, because of your grades and impressive actions with training, but it still is a worry of yours.

“Are you okay?” Nina whispers, leaning closer to you as Mr. Walton teaches.

“What? Yeah, yeah I’m good. Just tired from this morning.”

She nods and looks back to the front of the class.

Soon enough, it’s time to go to Dr. Reid’s classroom. You’ve extra careful about not stealing any glances across the room or staying too long after class since that day he had to hide in your closet. You can’t risk it.

You’re not even sure what Nina would do if she found out. Judge you? Tell someone? Probably not the latter, but people can slip up by accident.

All you know is, you’re ready for winter break to get here as quickly as possible. Two weeks can not pass by soon enough.

In two weeks you’ll be back with your dad and brothers for a little while, getting to step away from the chaos that is training, school, and the illicit affairs between you and Dr. Reid.

“Hey, are you alright?” Spencer asks, hand lightly touching your elbow after class.

“Yeah. I’m good,” you nod.

“You’re lying.”

“I’m not,” you chuckle a bit nervously. “I’m just tired.”

“I heard you did amazing this morning,” he flashes his sweet smile, and for a moment, all your anxieties are gone.

“I did pretty well, yeah,” you grin softly.

“It’s been a while since we’ve done anything together. Would you like to come over sometime this week?”

“I- um- if I can, sure.”

Spencer furrows his eyebrows a little at your statement. “Have I done something wrong?”

“No! No, of course not. I’m just stressed out.”

“Would you like to talk about it?”

You give him a slight shrug. “Finals are next week, I’m going back home for the break, and… and I’m just starting to worry that people will find out about what we’re doing.” You gesture a finger from yourself to him.

Spencer nods. “First of all, you’ll do great on the finals, just like you did the midterms. Secondly, I thought you said you were excited to go home?”

“I am. I am. Just sometimes things can get to be a bit much,” you say.

“I understand. And by the way, I’m still keeping my promise that I won’t tell anyone. No one is going to find out about ‘what we’re doing’.”

His words draw a nod from you. You let out a soft breath. “Sorry, you’re right. I’m just in my head about things.”

“Hey, no need to apologize. You can come to me with anything,” Spencer’s words are gentle, his soft brown eyes on you. His hand cups your cheek gently and he plants a kiss to your lips softly. The two of you barely do this, the gentle kissing. It’s intimate and not in a sexy way.

You smile softly and say, “I should get going.”

“I’ll see you soon,” he says, giving you a little awkward wave.

The two weeks move past you not too slow, but not as quickly as you would’ve liked them to. Spencer and you hang out twice before the last day of training and classes, having sex one of those times and the other you watched a movie and fell asleep on his shoulder from finals week exhaustion.

Nina is to be flying back home for the break as well. The two of you have dinner together the day before you leave to say bye and gossip a bit about your families.

Your bags are packed, and you’re ready to head to the airport. After arriving, then waiting two hours, your flight to California is finally announced to be boarded.

‘I’m on the plane now. Thank you for checking up on me,’ you reply to Spencer’s earlier message.

‘Text me when you land safely. Have fun at home.’

‘Will do and will try,’ you send to him before turning your phone on airplane mode and pressing play on your playlist. You watch the ground grow farther and farther away from you from the window as your music plays in your ear.

chapter seventeen

tags: @reidsmilf @reidslovely @awhoreforspencerreid @sexualityisajoke @nomajdetective @kenreadsfanfics @assemblemotherfuckers @calicocatty @reidscake @hotchandspencearedilfs @kodiakwhiskey @rory-cakes @kbakery @reidsprettygirl <3

[dinosaurtsukki]

BSD x university au hc’s | pt. 2

part 2 of the university au hc’s !! i am obviously a slut for chuuya and fyodor so don’t mind me. i hope you guys like this !!

check out pt. 1 here

***********************************************

Akutagawa Ryuunosuke:

i love akutagawa ryuunosuke my angst child but i’m just like ‘hmmmmmmm’ when it comes to what his course would probably be

after extensive research aka reading his character page on wiki i feel like maybe he’d be a history major because,,,, he likes antiques?

well his clothes do seem very dark academia-esque and i can see him liking something as cool as history

akutagawa’s probably into something like war history but he’s not weird about it he just finds it really cool how different strategies work or analyzing what exactly makes the winners win

he absolutely HATES the fact that he keeps having to read the Iliad for class

he’s also that classmate who INTENSIVELY DEFENDS achilles for being a bit of a little bitch (but he fully agrees that patroclus and achilles were gay af ok this was random moving on)

akutagawa has practically no social life. he doesn’t go to parties, he doesn’t talk to his roommate, he doesn’t even like to eat in the dining hall

BUT he absolutely loves being in debate team because WINNING

he’s such a nightmare to work with though but he just delivers so well when it’s time for him to speak. like, if he’s on a negative and it’s time to hash out rebuttals, just prepare to get MURDERED

other debaters: “esteemed scholars and adjudicators...”

akutagawa: “you, sir, have no idea how wrong you are.”

that is until dazai decided to randomly show up at a debate tournament all ‘la di da da’ like and completely crushed akutagawa along with his ego

from then on he started stalking dazai and just SOMEHOW managed to end up in his circle of friends

even though he’s antisocial in real life, akutagawa 100% runs a dark academia aesthetic blog on tumblr i’m right and i don’t accept criticism

it’s actually really good he has a ton of followers and even does requests for moodboards if someone asks nicely

atsushi was the one who actually found out about it but he’s nice so he didn’t tell akutagawa about it

kunikida probably follows that blog

Chuuya Nakahara:

if this part sounds like i’m just thirsting for chuuya then you’re absolutely right i love wine man

don’t get mad at me but i can ABSOLUTELY SEE HIM MAJORING IN FASHION DESIGN I MEAN LOOK AT HIM

he’s just always had such a good eye for fashion and he’s veryyy meticulous when it comes to snipping and putting together clothes

chuuya also carries a sketchbook full of designs and his drawings look amazing and he isn’t afraid to just show them off

that said he doesn’t dress like a tired uni student at all, like he just always looks so on-point and unbothered by his five million deadlines

dazai: chuuya, i said this was a CASUAL LUNCH

chuuya, dressed in what looks like silk pajamas: THIS IS CASUAL

tbh if he just wore a white t-shirt and jeans i would die maybe he’s actually saving us from this ordeal

he has so much talent though as a designer he’s probably had several internships with design companies all throughout his years at uni

i feel like chuuya’s also really active in extracurriculars and has been in leadership positions in some of them (he probably runs the student org for fashion design)

chuuya in a student band though oh my gosh i can’t breathe i can’t breathe him as a VOCALIST?? and wearing torn jeans and eyeliner and that same hat in concerts ican’t brEATHE

okay in all honesty he would thrive being in a band chuuya loves the attention and the creativity of being able to design their whole look and write songs

tbh i don’t know if he’d have a roommate chuuya’s probably the type who’d rather have one of those single rooms or just rent a flat for him to stay in even after graduation

because his social life is super vibrant, he does have a lot of friends and he does make an effort to get to know all of them individually 

but he’s more open around those who he’s been friends with for a really long time and as much as he’d like to say dazai isn’t one of them, he is

also chuuya is definitely the type to party hard during the weekends and has more than once crashed in someone’s house after drinking too much (dazai drew on his face on more than one occasion)

Oda Sakunosuke:

i love this man SO MUCH you guys have no idea i would literally die for him

100% this guy majors in creative writing because this is supported by FACTS and not just me wanting to be coursemates with him in this fictional world

super serious and diligent with his work especially since he’s passionate about writing. he loves to read in his spare time and is such a fan of classic novels about social realism or philosophy

oda spends 99% of his time in second-hand bookshops that the owner probably knows him by name at this point

he’s super old school when it comes to writing though, like he still keeps and writes in a notebook before typing it up on a laptop and no matter how many times dazai tells him its impractical, oda just keeps doing it

lmao whenever workshops come around he’s super nice with his critique. i bet a lot of his fellow classmates like sending their writing drafts to him

he draws smiley faces and always adds ‘nice work’ on people’s drafts omg i love odasaku

he’s such an old soul, he probably doesn’t do a whole lot of partying but he likes more quiet, private social events like drinking with close friends or just hanging out and talking at other people’s houses

he and dazai probably met when dazai decided to take an intro to creative writing class and wrote a long poem about double suicide on his first day that kind of put off everyone in the class from wanting to sit with him

odasaku was the only one who wasn’t exactly bothered but he did give dazai some comments to help him with his poetry and dazai instantly wanted to be his friend

in terms of extracurricular life, i can definitely see odasaku joining a writing organization and even the campus newspaper. he does find joy in interviewing students for newspaper articles

he’s also pretty into photography and uses a really old, second-hand camera that he bought at an antique store and fixed himself. at one point he won a prize in a contest

odasaku would be the best roommate. he’s super sensitive to when you have a bad day and will invite you to sit on his bed and hug his pillow and talk about your problems

scratch that, everyone talks to odasaku about their problems and now your room is like a therapist’s office

Edgar Allan Poe:

i swear this was the only gif i could find other than actual edgar allan poe

ANOTHER CREATIVE WRITING BUDDY AHHH I WOULD LOVE TO BE BESTIES WITH HIM AHHH

well actually i feel like since he’s super ambitious and already has a fixed idea on the stuff he likes to write, he’d probably double major in something like forensic science because he’d use it to write his mystery novels

omg that’s where he meets ranpo and now pretty much every main character poe writes is slightly based on on ranpo

it’s a problem. his professor brings it up more than once during his classes but it’s poe’s Thing now

he also has such an unending passion for gothic literature and he wears those white, long-sleeved blouses and waistcoats on a REGULAR BASIS

chuuya probably saw him once and was like ‘hmm, i could pull that off’

poe’s daily route is just going to the library and to class and then go home and that’s about it

he ended up working as a student assistant at the library because he’s just super familiar with the book collections and it’s a job that’s peaceful and quiet 

more than once though, he’d just be really in-deep with his writing to the point that he doesn’t even notice that the library has closed or that he hasn’t eaten the entire day

that’s alright though because ranpo always passes by the library at night to check on his friend and (reluctantly) give him some snacks

also since poe’s pretty much a recluse, he doesn’t go to any social event UNLESS it’s a halloween-themed one

he loves going all out with his costumes because he’s a Drama Queen like that but the problem is he keeps dressing up as gothic novel characters and nobody gets it

dazai, trying to guess his costume: umm,, Two-Face from Batman?

poe: IT’S DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE

there was this one time when poe took it upon himself to host the halloween party and it was EPIC

he basically designed it as a murder mystery night wherein everyone who came pretended to be guests at a house and then a murder happened

the only problem was that ranpo was conspiring with poe and it was pretty much unfair

except for the fact that ranpo was frustrated at how bad everyone was at deducing that he ended up solving the mystery for them

Fyodor Dostoevsky:

one of my favorite scenes of him in s3 was of fyodor playing the cello because god damn that is beautiful and therefore i am hc-ing him as a music major and you can’t tell me otherwise

fyodor is an absolute music genius and he was definitely scouted by the university’s music program and then he was granted a scholarship (because in this ideal university, the arts are valued)

he purposely decided to go to a university rather than a music conservatory because he’s also interested in learning a bunch of other things

aside from his music classes, he ventures into comparative literature and philosophy, even a bit of computer science at some point

people always assume that since he’s a music major he probably wouldn’t do well in other subjects but SURPRISE BITCH

anyway, fyodor’s a genius because god clearly has favorites

aside from attending class, he’s even part of an official orchestra and has even landed a few solos 

that said, he’s quite busy and very preoccupied in his own work to actually have a social life either

you’ll often find him rehearsing by himself in an empty classroom for hours and hours on end (someone pls bring him food he’s also the type to forget to eat or even drink water)

if you are able to catch him perform at an orchestra or just practice by himself, it’s quite a mesmerizing sight. his eyes are often closed so he could focus on the sound alone and his fingers move so elegantly along the neck of the cello

(sorry i just love people who play any form of stringed instrument)

fyodor also takes such good care of his cello. also he would probably kill you on the spot if you touched his bow

he has a fairly small group of friends and they like playing chess together (even though fyodor is better than all of them) and just talk about um,, idk philosophy and stuff (whatever it is smart people do idk i’m not one of them)

i have a feeling he actually follows akutagawa’s dark academia blog and loves his content, even to the point of requesting ‘cello player moodboards’

also because he’s a cello player he needs to take care of his fingers so he wears gloves a lot (idk why i find this hot)

***********************************************

taglist (check out my post for details on being part of my taglist): @waitforitillwritemywayout @tpwkatsumu @laure-chan

[dorminchu]

Insult to Injury: The Director's Cut — Chapter 01

Note: All right, it's been a hot minute since I uploaded anything substantial in regard to this fic. So I'm going to try something a bit risky! I've archived Insult to Injury as you all know it, with the exception of a few errant reblogs outside of my control. But that's neither here nor there; I am very excited to present to all of you all the definitive version of this fic — the Director's Cut, if you will. ;)

Fandom: James Bond Characters: Madeleine Swann, Lyutsifer Safin, various OC(s) Relationships: Madeleine & OC(s) Warnings: Strong language, intense scenes of violence, general cynicism. Rating: M Genre: Crime/Drama Summary: A troubled psychologist desperate to escape her past criminal ties finds herself drawn into a far more insidious schism. [Post-Skyfall]

[Ao3 | FFNet]

— ACT I —

“Everything which is done in the present, affects the future by consequence, and the past by redemption.” — Paulo Coelho

— Episode I: A THOUSAND DETAILS —

In the sterile comfort of her office, Dr Madeleine Swann stared blankly at her computer monitor. The notification that her application as a psychologist consultant with the Médecins Sans Frontières had been sent six days prior blurred with lack of focus. The location of the mission in question was Conakry, Guinea. Her contract duration would last from the start of May to the end of August; just shy of two months away from now. There was an additional caveat:

All non-ECOWAS foreigners are required to have a valid Guinean visa and a vaccination card in order to be granted entry. Yellow fever vaccination cards are verified upon entry into the country at Gbessia.

Approval for the visa necessitated a seventy-two-hour window of clearance. And it would be at least four weeks until she heard back from the Human Resources Office—up to six if she were unlucky. She sat erect and the movement alone was enough to incite a sharp stab of pain into the back of her head. Through the window the sun cast a reddish glare, obfuscating the monitor and warming the nape of her neck. She shoved her face into the heels of her palms while the pressure in her skull abated to a dull throbbing.

Usually she made a habit of drawing the blinds. There were already enough odd complaints about her office being too cold and sterile passed along by the secretary. It had been a stressful enough week that Madeleine saw no reason to keep the shutters closed, so her clients might have something else to focus on besides four polished wooden walls and the analog clock.

What came off to most outsiders as a cool and direct manner of conduct was simply pragmatism. She had a laptop computer used primarily for sending emails. She recorded the bulk of her notes on patients by-hand and revised by means of portable recorder. She kept no photographs in her home nor office. The casual anecdotes she provided to her colleagues were ostensibly as droll as her taste in décor; though her efforts to blend in had largely gone unappreciated.

There wasn’t anything else immediate to review for tonight. She wished a curt good-night to the secretary before donning her coat and exiting into the crisp evening air.

⁂

It was only a fifteen-minute walk from the clinic to the flat. Above her head the clouds hung grey and pregnant with snow. By the time she had ascended the staircase and opened the door to her apartment her fingers prickled. Numbness seeped into her skin. She’d never much cared for the colder seasons.

“You’re back early,” said Arnaud—a fellow Sociology major from her college days. After graduating from Oxford, Madeleine had taken his offer to return to Paris and transfer over to the 8tharrondissement with the understanding that they would be rooming together. Her colleagues back then often referred to them as friends-with-benefits as Madeleine had showed little interest in dating before. After three years of cohabitation, her co-workers at the office wondered how she and Arnaud remained so cordial while balancing their careers and relationship.

“Yes.” Madeleine hung up her coat, noting that he had not yet changed out of his own. “I submitted my request with the MSF a week ago. If I am accepted I’ll be working as a psychologist consultant. In that case, I’ll be out of the country until August at least.”

“Well, you’ve never landed a position that didn’t suit you.” Madeleine smiled politely. “Can I get you anything?”

“No, thanks.” She looked away from him towards the window. “You could open the blinds. It's very bright in here with the lights on.”

“There’s hardly much to look at when the sun is in your eyes. Isn’t that what you say?”

For the most part, Arnaud was easy to live with. Neither of them required financial support and he was of equitable social standing. Her relentless volunteer work did not always lend much time to get to know his inner mind. “It’s late. Are you going out again?”

“No, I got back first. And it’s fortunate. You looked awfully cold when you came in.”

“I can hardly control the weather. And you needn’t worry, I always carry a key on me.”

“Madeleine, we live together. It wouldn’t be right to avoid you. But you know, if I were going out to an unscrupulous club it would make for a pretty good story.”

“Hm.”

“And knowing you,” Arnaud continued, “you probably won’t be going out drinking. The sunrise disturbs you in the mornings, and you woke up before I did, at seven. I assume you’ve been busy all day. In just a few weeks you’ll be working that much harder. You ought to get some rest while you can.”

“So,” a little cooler, “you’ll be another mission?”

“Most likely.”

“All these countries must seem the same after a while.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t expect you to understand. When was the last time you volunteered out of the country? 2011?”

Arnaud laughed. “Jesus, this isn’t a competition.”

“But it’ll give you something to talk about to your friends while I am away.”

Arnaud said nothing. Madeleine frowned. She went into the other room and began to change. He could not approach her in the same casual manner as his peers, nor dissect her outright. His life was one of prestige as well as privilege, and Madeleine could not foster any underlying resentment towards him for acting in his nature. The silence held, strained. Then Arnaud said:

“It’s always been important to you. That’s what should matter.”

⁂

In two weeks’ time she got a response from the HRO; the initial interview was scheduled shortly thereafter. By the middle of April she was making preparations to depart. Thanks to Arnaud’s tactic of avoidance she had little reason to tell him the details. No one would know where she was headed unless they broke inside her laptop and hunted through her mail. The situation in Guinea had kicked into mainstream awareness back in February for a week or so before gradually sinking back into obscurity.

Reports from several news outlets cited the emergence of an outbreak primarily affecting South Africa. Originating inland, a mysterious illness that revealed itself first with fever and spells of vomiting, then gradually ate away at the flesh of those afflicted and bore their bones and muscle, vulnerable to further rot. More emboldened journalists had taken to calling it the Red Death on account of this. Neither a cure nor a place or origin had been discovered.

The situation had not improved in the last two months so much as stabilised. Madeleine had been assured several times over email and electronic conference that those working in the field had already taken precautions, and she’d be instructed further on what to do upon her arrival. She was issued a few pamphlets and strongly advised to vaccinate before boarding the flight. Which she had done, but it was very kind of them to remind her.

In spite of Arnaud’s apparent disinterest, his last words to her before she departed had been: “Last year it was four missions. I'd never seen you so tired. I wish I knew what you’re trying to prove.”

After managing to get some sleep on the plane she touched down Conakry International Airport around mid-morning and contacted the Project Coordinator; a shorter man in his mid-forties with a photogenic smile and toupee. He clasped her hand in both of his clammy ones and said: “Very glad you've made it, Doctor. We need you on-site in twenty minutes. Make sure you are ready.” Her luggage was dropped off on the second floor of the Grand Hotel de L’independence, where she and the other MSF members would be rooming. The staff were polite enough, though their attention was fixed on the Project Coordinator.

Her room was spare and a little dingy, and the only means of fresh air came from opening the window and polluting the room with outside noise, but it was at least reasonably clean. A fine sheen of sweat was building on her skin. No reason to delay the inevitable.

Upon reaching Donka Hospital she met up with the rest of the team, most notably the Medical Coordinator, and the Psychosocial Unit. It soon became apparent that there were still not enough medical doctors to handle the influx of infected. An isolation ward had been established before the MSF’s involvement, but they were reportedly at full capacity; the workers in there were clad in full-body personal protective equipment. Another section of the grounds had been set aside and fenced off; rows of tents all lined up, reminding Madeleine distantly of a prisoner’s accommodations. No matter where you went the stench of rot always seemed to hang pervasively in the air.

She was paired off with another psychologist by the name of John Herrmann; American, around her age. He was of a friendlier disposition than she was used to, introducing her semi-formally to the rest of the group before adding:

“So, one thing you should know now, we’ve been having problems with the electricity on site as well as the hotel. There’s no running water either.”

“This isn’t my first mission with MSF. And I lived out in the countryside when I was small. I know how to look after myself.”

Herrmann smiled. “That’s fair.” He scratched his neck. “The mosquitoes are worse. Bug nets won’t help worth a damn. Make sure you close your windows at night, I had to learn that the hard way.”

“I see.” The humidity combined with the smell off-road were already becoming intolerable. But she did not want to appear so snobbish or weak in front of someone she would be monitoring for the next three months. “I won’t go any easier on you just because you are unaccustomed to the environment.”

 “See ,that’s the kind of attitude we need around here!” He clapped a hand on her back; Madeleine regarded him levelly until he relented. “Good to have you on the team.”

The other members on the Psychosocial Unit were as amicable with Madeleine as the situation permitted. None of them got on her nerves as much as Herrmann. His enthusiasm was never to the point of seeming false or obsequious, but he remained just enough of a go-getter to piss her off. After a week of monitoring them she came away with the impression that Herrmann was genuine. He had been consistently genial with the clientele and hospital staff alike, no matter the severity of their condition. She saw no reason to socialise with him outright. The most he ever noted about her mood was: “You’re pretty reticent for a psychologist consultant.”

“I’m here to do my job. That’s all.”

Herrmann shrugged. “I can respect that. We all deal with the situation in our own ways.” He paused. “I can see why the Project Coordinator wanted you. You’re handling this situation a lot better than I would have.”

“Thank you.”

“The workload must be insane compared to what you’re normally used to. I know it took me time to adjust—" he stopped as Madeleine threw him a look of confusion “—what is it?”

“Back home, I am usually referred to as what one would call a workaholic. Or didn’t anyone tell you?”

“Oh, hey, I didn’t mean to imply—”

“No offence taken.”

The higher temperature was not so bad as the humidity that slapped her in the face whenever stepping outside—according to the forecasts, it was only going to get worse within the coming months. There was no manner of ventilation or air-conditioning in the hotel so often times she had to draw the curtains and keep her hair back. She resigned herself by reminding herself that it was better than sleeping in a tent.

There wasn’t much time to be hung-up on much else besides her assignment. The members of the Psychosocial Unit all looked good on paper, but they betrayed their inexperience through a shared level of idealism towards the mission that Madeleine deemed ill-fated. She did not blame them. Young, perhaps fresh out of school, looking to make a difference in the world without truly anticipating the gravity of the situation. Their time spent observing the crises of the rest of the world through the lens of journalism and outside empathy could not compare with the experience of actually sitting down and listening to the stuff their patients talked of with prosaic seriousness.

It often sounded outrageous when Madeleine played back the recordings, taking down notes in the quiet, stuffy hotel room. Mortality was an expected outcome, and the implication of negligence by their government a common topic of discussion among patients. Most conversations were conducted in French or else by way of an interpreter, though the antagonism in the voices of these patients needed no translation.

There was a growing disparity between the narrative put into circulation by the news and what was happening in the field. According to several members of the MSF and the staff at Donka, the media blew the problem out of proportion. The people whose condition had kicked off the “Red Death” story had been subjected to long-term exposure. Most of the patients that came through were not in that same condition, but it created an illusion of immediacy that incited concern in the public eye and a need for donations. Government officials wanted to cover up the severity of the situation as not to detract from any potential business opportunities; until the MSF got involved, they were only employing the most rudimentary of safety procedures.

This latter revelation had shaken up the Psychosocial Unit considerably; Dr Herrmann had lost his patience with the Medical Coordinator. To this end, he’d apologised profusely to Madeleine afterwards though she would hear none of it. Whatever he felt about the situation was not necessarily invalid, but out of consideration for their patients, he would not bring it up again.

Herrmann never held it against her. So Madeleine busied herself in her own work. Whatever quiet camaraderie forged between the other MSF members was not her business. When pressed for advice, she would talk calmly, carefully with the rest of the team about what would be optimal but never overreach. In the sweltering nights and throughout the early morning, Madeleine would pore over her notes, listening to the passing automobiles and indistinct conversation carried over by civilians.

⁂

June crawled by. Currently the MSF were in the process of dealing with a new influx of internally displaced persons (IDPs) from the surrounding prefectures and villages, all of whom had to be tested and separated from those not stricken with disease. Thanks to the cooperation with the local civilians and tireless efforts on part of the medical staff and Medical Unit, there had been a forty-five-percent decrease in fatalities compared to the start of the year.

The atmosphere within the hospital was not improving. The topic of insurgence was the new favourite with patients. Allegedly there had been several attacks on neighbouring villages; a consequence of the lack of tangible progress coupled with deep-seated mistrust of government officials. Now the Force Sécurité/Protection, or FSP, had been brought on in collaboration with an additional Protective Services Detail (PSD) by the name of Kerberos, to ensure the hospital and surrounding property remained untouched.

Their Project Coordinator called them all in for the sake of reviewing protocol in the event of an attack. Outright criticism of the government’s method in handling the situation was discouraged. Madeleine was savvy enough to keep herself abreast of any controversy. For the rest of the Psychosocial Unit, she presumed they were either too naïve or willing to look the other way.

The only exception to this was the Vaccines Medical Advisor, Francis Kessler; a stoic older man with thinning hair and glasses. He and Madeleine had cooperated a handful of times beforehand, at the discreet behest of the Medical Coordinator. Madeleine had found nothing wrong with his conduct. A diligent worker, he acknowledged her judgement fairly but did not overextend his gratitude. Outside of his work he was straight-laced and reserved and wouldn’t be seen socialising with any of the younger MSF who all talked about him as though he were some out-of-touch stick-in-the-mud. As the situation in the hospital became more dire he would stay behind on-site, late into the evening. Whenever they had a break, he would disappear on calls. Once he came back late by only a few minutes and apologised to Madeleine.

“I was supposed to be sent home last month, but with the situation being what it is, I decided to stay on until things are resolved.” He did not sit down, his attention turned towards the path back to the infected ward. “It’s madness. We’ve already waited until things are too severe to think of bringing in a proper security detail—who the hell does the Project Coordinator think we’re fooling?” Madeleine ignored him. “Dr Swann. The Medical Coordinator tells me you’ve been involved in volunteer work for a while.”

“Five years, as of March.”

“Perhaps they would be more willing to listen to someone with your expertise.”

“I’m flattered. But it’s fortunate that I was not selected for my personal opinion.”

Kessler chuckled. “You’ll go far.”

Madeleine had no interest in pursuing this topic any further. “Who were you speaking to?” He froze up, didn’t answer immediately. “My apologies. I shouldn’t have been so blunt. But you leave often enough on calls, and it appears to be taking a toll on you.”

Comprehension dawned on his face, his shoulders relaxed. “Just my wife. This past month has been no easier on her. But I find that it can help somewhat, just talking to someone outside of this element.” Madeleine nodded stoically. “I’ve never seen you contact anyone outside of your unit.” Madeleine did not anticipate the conversation to take such a turn, nor did she wish to divulge much about herself. But she could not deflect as she could in the clinic back home, and Kessler seemed forthright enough to warrant a harmless response.

“I’m living with a friend. We graduated from college together.”

“And you keep in touch while you are abroad?”

“He tends to lead his own life while I am away.”

“That’s a great deal to ask of someone.” Madeleine inclined her head in his direction. This was not a man that emoted often; now the thin mouth was set, and the eyes behind the glasses disillusioned. “Few women your age would devote themselves to a thankless vocation as this. Not everyone is going to want to stick around until you decide you want to settle down.”

Madeleine’s smile did not touch her eyes. She hadn’t even mentioned the nature of her relationship to Arnaud. “We have an understanding, that’s all. Besides, I don’t bother him about his social life.”

Kessler shook his head. In a few minutes they were back to work as usual. By the end of the day, Madeleine resolved to let him dig his own social grave without further interference.

By the time July rolled around Madeleine found her mind snagging easily on technicalities. She became less tolerant of the Psychological Unit’s personal hang-ups with the lack of resources and lack of any obvious moral closure. Smell of rot and disinfectant permeated into her clothing and hair until she had begun to associate the smell itself with a total lack of progress.

She left the window to her hotel room cracked most nights, afraid to open it completely. Alone with her own mind and the recorder. The conversations now circled back readily to death and terrorism. An overwhelming fear of retaliation from looming insurrection.

Madeleine stopped the recording. She checked the time and cursed under her breath. Just past one in the morning. In six hours she would return to Donka Hospital and repeat the process. A month and a half from now she would be on a flight back to Paris. Her mind wouldn't settle on either direction.

Outside her window she heard the distant voice of Francis Kessler. He was conversing in German, from a few storeys down, but as Madeleine came over to the window she understood him clearly:

“…I’ve been saying it for weeks, and they dismiss me every time. These wounds are the result of prolonged exposure from chemicals. We’ve seen evidence of IDPs coming through, exhibiting the same symptoms as the PMCs we treated back in February. How we can expect to make any progress if the Project Coordinator refuses to bring this up? We’re putting God-knows how many lives at risk waiting for a vaccine that we don’t know if we need—and even so, it won’t be ready for another week. There’s not enough time to justify keeping silent….”

Madeleine closed the window carefully. She’d never been one to intrude on family matters.

⁂

When Madeleine exited her room the next morning, she found the Project Coordinator waiting for her in the hallway, along with the head of security from Kerberos and a couple Donka Hospital staff Madeleine knew by sight but not intimately.

The vaccines had arrived earlier than anticipated, around three or four in the morning. Several members of the Medical Unit had stayed on-site in order to determine if all had been accounted for and subsequently realised it was rigged. Thanks to the intervention of Kerberos the losses were minimal. Several doctors had suffered chemical exposure and were currently isolated from the rest of the IDPs to receive immediate medical attention. Others, such as Drs Kessler and Herrmann, had been less fortunate.

Now there was additional pressure from the hospital doctors and Logistics Team to begin moving the high-risk patients to a safer area. The fear that this story would circulate and any chance of obtaining vaccines would be discouraged could not be ruled out. So they would not be reporting this as a chemical attack, but as a failed interception of an attack by local terrorists, stopped by the FSPs.

“Dr Swann.” The head of security, Lucifer Safin, gave Madeleine pause. His accent would presume a Czech or Russian background but his complexion and eye colour invited room for ambiguity. The MSF on staff commonly referred to him by surname; perhaps Lucifer was simply an alias. What set him apart was his face. Gruesomely scarred from his right temple to the base of his left jaw, though the structure of his eyes and nose remained intact. In spite of the weather, Madeleine had never seen him without gloves. “I understand that you were one of the last to speak with Dr Kessler?”

His manner wasn’t explicitly taciturn, more akin to the disconcerting silence one might experience while looking into a body of still-water—met only with your reflection.

“Yes,” said Madeleine, “but that was nearly five days ago.”

“You were instructed to monitor him during that period by the Medical Coordinator?”

 “That’s correct.”

Safin glanced at the Project Coordinator. “I’ll speak with her alone.”

“Of course.”

Safin nodded. They walked down the length of the hall back to her room. His gait was purposeful and direct. He had a rifle strapped to his side. Madeleine tried to avoid concentrating on it. Her attention went to the window. She'd forgotten to lock it.

“Dr Swann.” The early morning light put his disfigurement into a new, unsettling clarity. Too intricate to be leprosy or a typical burn wound, it was more as if his very face were made of porcelain and had suffered a nasty blow, then glued together again. “What was the extent of your relationship to Dr Kessler?”

“I did not work with him often. We talked once or twice but that was all. I have my own responsibilities with the Psychosocial Unit. From what I could tell, he never made an effort to befriend anyone.”

“But you were asked to monitor Dr Kessler.”

“I was requested to do so on behalf of the Medical Coordinator. There were concerns that Dr Kessler was somehow unqualified to continue his work. In observing him, I had no reason to suspect he was unfit for the position psychologically.” Safin said nothing. “The only issue I could see worth disqualifying him for, was that Kessler and the Project Coordinator had very differing views on protocol.”

“He spoke to you about his views?”

“He expressed to me once, in confidence, that he did not understand the Project Coordinator’s hesitance to bring in a security detail.” Safin’s attention on her became sharper. “He also told me he’d elected to continue volunteering here past his contract duration, just to ensure the operation was successful. That was my only conversation with him outside of a work-related context. You would be better off asking the other doctors about this.”

“We have video surveillance in place on the Grand Hotel de L’independence. At around one in the morning, Dr Kessler exited the building and contacted an unknown party by mobile phone. Then, a minute later, you were at your window.”

“Oh, yes. I have been forgetting to close it. With so many longer days, it can be difficult to remember these things.”

“Your room was the only one to show signs of activity at that hour.”

“I was reviewing my notes from that day’s session. I heard a voice from outside, though not clearly. It was distracting me from my work, so I got up and closed the window.”

“Do you commonly review your notes in the early hours of the morning with an unlocked window?”

“I just wanted some quiet. I leave the windows open because otherwise I seem to find myself trapped with the smell of rotting flesh as well as humidity.”

Safin’s expression became easier to read, but not in a positive sense. This was not a man you wanted to be on opposing sides with. Madeleine kept any apprehension away from her face and her voice tightly controlled.

“Look. Without information about Dr Kessler’s lifestyle outside of the MSF, I cannot give you an answer in good faith. I was assigned to survey him. He showed no signs of dereliction in his work, and to my knowledge kept his personal views separate from his work. Whatever he said to me during outside hours was assumed to be in confidence. Many people say things to one another in what they believe to be confidence that they would not admit to otherwise. If I had reason to suspect he was unfit to work, I would have contacted the Medical Advisor immediately.”

Safin held her gaze. She did not dare avert her face. Then he said: “Thank you for your cooperation. The Project Coordinator is waiting for you downstairs.”

The rest of the day she spent in a different wing of the hospital. The Psychosocial Unit was cut down from four members to three. Another inconsequential day of thankless work that never seemed quite good enough. That night Madeleine laid back on her bed and watched the shadows on the ceiling stretch over peeling paint until daybreak.

When she’d arrived at the airport she could stave off her doubts with shallow, private reassurances. As long as you are here, you are just Dr Swann the psychologist consultant. Your father is many miles away and he won’t contact you again. No one else will come looking for you in a place like this.

With a guy like Safin around she was undoubtedly safer than she would have been with the FSPs alone.

Safer, but no longer invisible.

⁂

July brought hotter weather and brittle peace—the vaccines had finally arrived. The wing of the hospital that had suffered the terrorist attack was still closed and they had lost several more staff members wounded in the initial attack. Madeleine and the remaining MSF were encouraged by the Project Coordinator to take earlier shifts. Progress remained steady but there was no clear resolution in sight. The stench of rot imprinted into Madeleine’s senses to the point where she no longer consciously registered her own nausea. Discontent among the staff continued to bubble under the surface on account of the closed wing and bad press.

It couldn't last forever.

A week away from August. Just another humid morning at six AM. Madeleine rose and prepared herself mentally for the day ahead. Stress kept her mind working late into the night, but her position with the Psychosocial Unit barred her from working overtime in the hospital. She was overwhelmed with keeping up the pace, not yet to the point of exhaustion.

There was an inordinate of activity on the road outside as she got dressed and left the room. She put it out of her mind.

Outside the hotel she met up with the Medical Coordinator and a few members of the Logistics Unit. They spent about ten minutes standing idle in the humid air, too weary to speak. The streets were usually empty this time of day.

An unremarkable black Jeep pulled up. The Medical Coordinator opened the door and was about to step into the car when it happened. The Medical Coordinator’s head burst over the interior of the vehicle and Madeleine. The body slumped like a doll to the dirt. Madeleine wanted to scream but could not. She turned and found herself facing down the barrel of a rifle.

Around a dozen men with guns, sans insignia, circled them. The man who had fired addressed her harshly in French: “Where are the rest of the MSF? Why are they not at the hospital?”

“I don’t understand.” Madeleine could see another group of men approaching from the rear. A massacre, onset.

“We’ve been waiting for months for a solution, and you have been injecting us with a useless vaccine.” He aimed right at her sternum. “Your doctors gave them all false hope for months. Now the MSF have abandoned you.”

“You have been protecting them!” the insurgent roared, levelling his weapon. “All this time! You knew why they were here, and you allowed them to experiment on our families like dogs!”

The man at his left turned and fired. The insurgent fell dead. “That’s enough.” One of the men from Kerberos in plainclothes. A dozen more in military gear materialised as if from nowhere. “There is no need for additional bloodshed,” said the plainclothes. “Release them now or you will be shot.”

All around her at once, gunfire. Madeleine didn't wait to see who had fired first. She prostrated herself, hands clasped over her neck, breath clogged in her throat.

All sound ceased. Her head continued to ring. Her eyes were open but she did not process the colour staining her skin, on her clothes, the smell of it. She hadn’t been shot. Her heart hammered against her ribcage.

Heavy footsteps approaching. She closed her eyes awaiting the kiss of metal at her temple.

“Dr Swann.” Madeleine shrunk away instinctively from the gloved hand upon her forearm. “It’s all right. I’m not going to hurt you.”

Another soldier pulled her upright. Sight of blood on dry earth briefly mixed up with blood spattered across wooden floorboards. Madeleine went limp. Ushered into the backseat of an unmarked Jeep, she could not stop trembling. Shoulder-to-shoulder with another man she recognised as head of Logistics, Peter Miller. The door slammed shut, jolting her back into her own body. Sound of the ignition set her into trembling. Miller’s naked hand materialised on her shoulder. His voice overtaken by the roaring in her ears. Madeleine bowed her head into her hands like a child, whispering: “Ne me tuez pas. Je n’ai rien fait. Je ne sais rien.”

[zalrb]

OKAY. SINCE ANONS SEEM TO BE INTERESTED. HERE IS MY DAWSON’S CREEK 1X01 REVIEW.

@jayciethings​ IF YOU ARE INTERESTED.

1. I think the opening scene does a good job in establishing the central struggle of the season and it does it in 3 minutes: 1) things need to change and Joey wants them to 2) Dawson doesn’t see why anything has to change and doesn’t see what Joey is trying to say 3) burgeoning sexuality 4) Joey-Dawson friendship.

2. I also think the Joey-Dawson friendship is also established really well and it’s actually a time where dialogue and action work in tandem. They give a brief history/overview of their friendship: “you’ve been sleeping over since you were 7″ “i’ve seen you pick your nose, scratch your butt” while also showing them watch tv, playfight and ultimately end up sleeping in the same bed, like they did when they were 7.

3. I actually don’t find the dialogue as annoying right now.

4. I will forever be angry that they didn’t pay to have the original music with their scenes because Dawson’s Creek is not Dawson’s Creek without “I Don’t Wanna Wait”.

5. “He did it again, he grabbed my ass.” “Like you even have one.” Joshua’s delivery is perfect because it’s resigned and un-offended.

6. “I’m Jen.” “Oh right, the granddaughter from New York.” That actually isn’t clunky. It’s a good way to do exposition.

7. “You look different.” “Puberty.” LOL Joey Whitter sass.

8. Honestly, at least so far, Joey’s behaviour makes sense for a 15 year old girl who is in love with her best friend who doesn’t see her as a sexual being and then has to watch him salivate over The New Girl. No, that isn’t Jen’s fault but sometimes people on this site act like teenagers or adults for that matter don’t have messy and not-so-great emotions/reactions to things. Unless, apparently, they’re men who are rapists and serial killers, then the understanding is boundless.

9. It’s actually refreshing to hear “Mr. Leery” “Mrs. Leery” since teens in shows now just call adults by their first names, which I would NEVER do. I still can’t do that. If I had to address initiumseries’ dad it would be Mr...

10. I also think it’s funny that this dialogue is being made fun of but this kind of cadence and irony is the kind of thing shows go for now -- Riverdale tries to emulate this and I would argue Euphoria tries to do an edgier version of this. Like Nellie insulting Pacey, that kind of tone is what they’re trying to go for with Cheryl.

11. I’ll admit this is more fun than I thought it would be so far.

12.  I LOVE WHAT’S EDGY FOR THE NINETIES. SHE IS IN A SUNDRESS. SETTLE DOWN.

13. “I have it on pretty good authority that mothers have excellent sex.” LOL Pacey, dick move.

14. Renting The Graduate, how on the nose.

15. THEIR CLOTHES ARE SO 90s.

16. The soundtrack pisses me off so much.

17. Oh Dawson. I knew so many self-important, I’m-so-deep-I-like-these-kinds-of-movies or -this-kind-of-music boys in high school. Like I find it so typical that he thinks his obsession with Spielberg would interest Jen.

18. Dawson taking Jen to his studio is like Klaus taking Caroline to sees his drawings.

19. Oh man, I remember being a kid and watching these teen shows with my cousin and seeing how Capeside High School was with everyone on a quad and throwing footballs and being like HIGH SCHOOL IS GOING TO BE LIKE THAT and my cousin just being like

20. I like how Dawson’s Creek is the whitest show and they still managed to have more Black extras than Gilmore Girls.

21. Dawson and Jen actually have a nice chemistry. But everyone is coming on super strong with Jen and she’s just kind of like, this seems normal.

22. The film teacher is a dick for no reason. I’ve had my fair share of dickish teachers but this is excessive right off the bat.

23. Lol poor Jen, she really is trying with Joey.

24. I like how a status of Joey’s class is the fact that her sister is engaged to a Black man *eye roll*

25. I don’t know of any school where teachers ate in the cafeteria with the students. In my school there were teachers who supervised the cafeteria but that’s it. Wow, I spent like no time in my high school cafeteria.

26. “I’m having a climax issue”

27.  Tamara, Ms. Jacobs, you should be in jail.

28. I like how this school LOOKS like a school.

29. Ugh, a trans jokes. Ugh, there was so much of that in the 90s.

30. “Nothing has to change. We can talk about anything.” Honestly, from a screenwriting point of view, this is a solid pilot. I remember in a screenwriting class I took, we studied The Social Network and every 10 pages someone calls Zuckerberg either an asshole or a jerk or something in that vein as a way to reiterate a key part of the theme of the movie and while I don’t have the pilot script in front of me, DC does reiterate the theme of the season frequently without it being repetitive.

31. The dialogue isn’t as hyperbolic as I remember tbh. And I’m going to say it again, shows are aiming for this, even the one episode I saw of the Winx Saga, when they try to flirt about mansplaining, when she’s fighting with her mom about how she’s not a feminist, they’re trying for this. But DC manages to make it more natural and it’s because the Core 4 have a charm. Even if you hate Dawson.

32. Who is Dawson’s dad. Is he in something else?

33. No, I just think he looks like Dr. Cox.

34. Dawson’s rant about sex not being important is hilarious. Yes, Dawson, you’re just pursuing Jen out of intellectual and philosophical desire.

35. I like how Joey is supposed to be a tomboy just because she’s the only girl/woman in Capeside who doesn’t wear a sundress.

36. Poor Jen.

37. Joey is super dramatic, I get that, but I kind of love it because I’m going RELAX but the way I would to a teenager. Like CALM. DOWN. Also “all I do is understand” is something that we needed to see more of before that argument.

38. Dawson, you never ask anyone else any questions about themselves, lol.

39. “How can you say you were just renting a movie??” Pacey is such a fifteen year old and I do wish the show would just ... let him be one? And what I mean by that is Pacey is supposed to be the friend with the edge, the fact that he “pursues” Ms Jacobs is supposed to attest to that fact, it’s framed as taboo and yet they’re presented as being on equal footing, even the way her date moves to grab him out of his seat when the fact of the matter is, he’s a kid, and if the show didn’t actually make the Tamara/Pacey relationship a storyline and made it about another way teenagers have certain idealized perceptions of relationships or apply kid knowledge to adult situations which still makes them kids, it would’ve been interesting too.

40. Dawson is literally dressed in different shades of beige. If that doesn’t say everything you need to know about his character --- which is intentional. But like jfc man.

41. I love that they can’t say “masturbate” so she has to say “walk your dog” I LOVE THE NINETIES.

42. And you know what, after that question was asked, the sheer heartbreak on Joey’s face and the sadness in Dawson’s eyes is done really well.

43. LMAO SO ANGSTY. No one does angst like the 90s.

44.  And legitimately, the ending of this pilot is great screenwriting because a change is noted, the beginning of the episode, Joey does end up staying the night, the end of the episode she leaves because they both realize it’s true that things are changing and yet Dawson answers her question about what time of day he masturbates and to who because they’re still Dawson and Joey. And that’s the way a pilot should be written.

OK. I’ve done it.

[hazza-bear-care]

Stay Safe (1/3)

A/N: I FINALLY STARTED WATCHING CRIMINAL MINDS!!! Granted I am still on season 1, I feel a little more comfortable writing about the BAU crew. Dr. Reid is definitely my favorite so far, but there’s always room for improvement lol. Anyway, enjoy. PS my timeframe is all over the place. I described Spencer’s looks from the later seasons, but kept the season 1 characters because they’re the only ones I know right now lol. Sorry for the confusion, but I hope you guys enjoy it anyway!

Pairings: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (oc)

Warnings: THREE CHAPTERS WORTH OF SMUT!!!! This one is light (fingering mostly, kinda public, dirty talk from Dr. Spencer Reid himself)

~~~~~~

Nova Calderon is a child psychotherapist born and raised in Baltimore, Maryland. After graduating from Towson University with her bachelor’s in criminal psychology and receiving her master’s from John’s Hopkins, she finally felt ready to start a job with the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit. 

Shouldering her black leather satchel, File-O-Fax clutched tightly the grip of her left elbow, a blistering cup of coffee in her right hand, she nudged her way through swarms of people. Silently praying that she wasn’t late, Nova took a seat on the Metro and decided to flip through her portfolio: three years interning under the best of the best in the Pentagon, a permanent position following not long after. But, the Pentagon couldn’t sustain her for too long: by the time she finished a pile of reports, fifteen more showed up on her desk. She longed to do more than just basic homeland security. Nova always knew she wanted to work in the government, but she didn’t spend all that money and energy in school to be someone’s assistant. After those three years and six months, Nova had the opportunity to join the BAU after her boss had put in a good word with Jason Gideon about her work ethic as well as her interactions with the children that often passed through the halls whenever a higher-up decided to bring one in for fun or even school field trips. 

The train screeched to a halt and she assumed, quite correctly, that the current stop was hers. Jumping up from her seat and startling the creep sitting next to her and almost breaking his nose with her shoulder, she scrambled off the train and scurried through the streets of Quantico. Finally locating the right building, she entered and was immediately intimidated by the hustle and bustle happening around her. 

“Hi. I’m Nova Calderon. I have a meeting with a Jason Gideon?”

“Agent Gideon is out for today, but his associate Aaron Hotchner will be conducting your interview.” After listening to the instructions the receptionist gave her on how to find Aaron Hotchner, Nova straightened herself up and mentally prepared herself for how this interview would go. She walked through the double glass doors with a deep breath, and the people in the room went quiet. 

“Well, hello. How can I help you?” An attractive black man said from his desk, his jaw on the floor. 

“Um, I don’t think I’m in the right place. I’m looking for an Aaron Hotchner?”

“You’re in the right place, sweet cheeks. I’ll show you to his office.” The same man responded, his flirting skills leaving something to be desired.

“I was told to wait for a Jennifer Jareau?” Nova replied, trying very hard not to roll her eyes at the man attempting to approach her. 

“That’s me. I will show you to Agent Hotchner’s office. Follow me, please.” A cute blonde instructed, leading Nova up a ramp and to an office with a closed door. Jareau held a finger up, signaling for Nova to wait until the coast was clear. The brief pause allowed Nova to glance around at who she hoped would be her new coworkers: A dark haired woman who looked like she couldn’t be bothered with Nova, the same man that flirted with her just a few seconds ago, his nose now buried in a manila envelope as a way to hide his staring, another blonde girl who had a big smile on her face and shot Nova a thumbs up for luck, and a skinny man with curly hair and a little scruff not bothering to hide his wandering eyes. His gaze was almost scrutinizing, scraping up and down Nova’s body repeatedly. Their eyes met and immediately the two both felt a fire erupt on their cheeks as Hotchner’s door opened and Nova got roped in. 

~~~~~~

Three days later was Nova’s first official day. Agent Hotchner was incredibly impressed with Nova’s portfolio and resume. While working with children wasn’t something the BAU did regularly, it was still a good choice to have a child psychotherapist on the team. Just because the typical profiles include men in their 20′s and higher, doesn’t mean a child still can’t be involved. 

“Morning, Nova. Are you ready for your first day?” Elle asked from her desk, legs propped up on the flat surface as the team awaited further instruction. 

“I’m nervous, but yes, I’m ready.” Nova had gone through a sort of orientation, meaning she already had a gun strapped to her waist, which she wasn’t comfortable with just yet. Nova didn’t like guns, but in her line of work it was hard to do anything without a gun. She took a seat at her desk, which happened to be across from Spencer’s, and attempted to get comfortable. 

“You’re not used to your gun yet,” Spencer noticed as Nova shifted uncomfortably in her seat. 

“Wow, Reid, you are some profiler. I, uh, don’t like guns. Never have.” Nova remarked back.

“You don’t like guns? How the hell did you last so long at the Pentagon?” Derek asked.

“I was a secretary. I was never required to carry one. I did have one issued to me, but it was never loaded. The ability to fire a gun wasn’t a requirement for desk jobs.” The slight hint of annoyance in Nova’s voice was only caught by Spencer, but he didn’t say anything about it. Nova rubbed her eyes and tried to stifle a yawn. 

“Long night?” Elle asked.

“I couldn’t sleep because I was so excited. Ugh I sound like I’m 12 years old and waiting to go on my first field trip.” Everyone around her chuckled, but Nova didn’t notice that Spencer was no longer sitting across from her. A cup of coffee appeared on her desk along with a bottle of sugar and some creamer cups. 

“I didn’t know how you take it.” Spencer muttered as he sipped his own coffee and sat on his desk, rather than in his chair. 

“Wow. Um, thanks, Dr. Reid.” Nova whispered as she reached for the coffee and the supplies Spencer had gotten for her. 

“You can call me Spencer.”

“How come she and JJ get to call you by your first name, but we have to call you Reid?” Derek muttered, crossing his arms, almost like he was pouting. 

“Let me ask you something, Morgan: Are you a pretty girl?” Spencer asked, a serious look covering his face. Nova blushed and tried to discreetly cover her face. 

“No, Reid, I’m not. But are you saying that Elle isn’t pretty? Or Garcia?”

“No. They’re pretty. But they prefer to call me ‘Reid’. Right, Elle?” Elle nodded. 

“Thanks for calling me pretty, Reid.” Spencer shot Elle a small smile and nodded, further proving his point to Derek. 

“Yeah, I think Nova enjoyed it too. She’s as red as a stop sign.” Derek laughed as he teased the newest member of the BAU team. Nova covered her face even more by slamming her face down on her desk and wrapping her arms around her head. She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the light teasing, but she knew she could never look at Spencer with a straight face again. Nova felt someone rub her back in comfort, but she didn’t care to find out who it was. Then to everyone’s rescue, JJ walks in with a case. 

~~~~~

The case went smoothly, and Nova couldn’t have been more exhilarated. She had rescued three children from a serial sex offender who got off by murdering the people he raped. The gruesome pictures and the events leading to find the missing children exhausted Nova, yet she couldn’t fall asleep on the jet flying from Colorado to D.C. 

“Great work, Nova. I honestly didn’t think you’d be able to keep up with us.” Hotch commented, a slight smile gracing his lips. The older man adjusted himself in his seat as he quickly prepared to catch a few winks on the flight home.  

“Yeah, Nova. You did an amazing job,” JJ gushed, making herself comfortable. She was asleep in five minutes, leaving Spencer and Nova the only two awake.  Stifling a yawn yet again, Nova tried to make herself comfortable on the stiff plane seats without drawing too much attention to herself, but evidently failed as she had caught the gaze of a certain doctor. Spencer snapped his fingers, effectively getting Nova’s attention. Quirking his fingers, he gestured for her to join him in his seat. Nova blushed, scooting across the aisle and standing awkwardly in front of Spencer. With a smirk, the doctor hooked his arms around Nova’s waist and pulled her into his lap, securing a blanket around them. 

“What are you doing, Spencer?” Nova whispered, making herself comfortable on Spencer’s lap. 

“Shh. You don’t want everyone to wake up, do you?” Spencer whispered back, a slight smirk on his face as a response to Nova’s confused look. 

“Spencer, what are you--” Nova froze in her place as she felt Spencer’s hand creep up between her legs and find it’s home just a few inches away from her core. With wide eyes, she quickly looked around the jet, silently praying that everyone truly was asleep. 

“Don’t worry. As long as you’re quiet, no one will know what’s happening. Are you gonna be quiet for me, little girl?” Nova’s breath hitched in the back of her throat, the dirty words coming from the usually shy doctor quickly dampening her panties. Not trusting her voice, Nova nodded, not confident enough to make even a little bit of eye contact with the man holding her firmly on his lap. Spencer chuckled and placed a few sparse kisses around Nova’s face, avoiding her lips entirely. She let out a small whine when Spencer avoided her mouth for the fifth time, a rumbling in the man’s chest. Finally giving in, Spencer lightly placed his mouth on Nova’s, breath’s mingling just enough to make the girl wiggle on his lap. 

“Sit still,” Spencer growled, his erection becoming more prominent every time Nova moved. 

“Then kiss me, Reid.” Without further prompting, Spencer slammed his lips to Nova’s, tongues immediately dancing together. While still fully immersed in the kiss, Spencer took the opportunity to once again slide his hand up until his long fingers met the area Nova needed them most. A gasp radiated from her mouth into Spencer’s as she silently thanked whichever deity she believed in that her pantyhose stopped just before her knees, allowing the doctor to simply push her panties to the side and run his fingers along her slit.

“You’re so wet, little girl. Is all this for me?” Spencer whispered, the teasing tone in his voice thick with desire. Once again trying to keep quiet, Nova nodded and brought her lips back to Spencer’s. He chose to roll her clit between two fingers for just a few tantalizingly long seconds, his mouth snuffing out the sounds of her soft moans. In a flash of surprise, Spencer jammed two fingers inside Nova’s wet heat, the pair groaning simultaneously into their kiss. They quickly pulled apart as Nova choked out a breath, gluing her lips shut to prevent any noises from coming out. 

“Fuck, Spence. Go faster, please.” Burying her face in Spencer’s neck, he did as she asked, quickly speeding up his fingers and marveling at the squelching sounds her pussy was making around his fingers. He curled his fingers up and Nova gasped, melting into Spencer’s grasp as his fingers brushed against the soft spot that was buried so deep inside her tight heat. Nova clamped her hand over her mouth, smothering her moans, the sounds ever increasing in volume involuntarily. The hand that wasn’t buried in her pussy came up to her her mouth and smacked on top of hers, preventing more moans from slipping between her fingers. Spencer went impossibly faster, the sounds becoming more lewd the harder he buried his fingers in Nova. Her legs started shaking and her walls were clenching around Spencer’s fingers, signaling that she was close to the edge. 

“You’re close, aren’t you baby?” Spencer whispered in her ear, slamming his fingers ever deeper in Nova’s pussy, the girl trying very hard not to scream or thrash in his grasp. “Yeah, I can feel that your close. Come on, baby. I know you can do it. Go ahead, make a mess for me, Nova.” With that, she squeezed her eyes shut, dropping her jaw in a silent scream, both her hand and Spencer’s still covering her mouth as a precaution. Her legs shook furiously as Spencer kept moving his hand, helping her through her high and removing his hand from under the blanket, putting his fingers in his mouth. Nova watched with hooded eyes as her new coworker of a week sucked her climax off his long fingers. When he was finished, he planted his lips on Nova’s again in a heated kiss. Spencer pulled away and kissed the girl’s forehead, pressing his hand to her head and leading it to his shoulder, a silent prompt to sleep. 

“Spencer?” Nova whispered, still trying not to draw too much attention to the pair. 

“Hmm?” She could feel his throat vibrate as he hummed in response.

“What was that for? What does this mean?” Spencer smirked at her questions, his mind running equally as fast.

“I’ll tell you some other time, love. Just go to sleep.” Nova nodded and closed her eyes, mind running with images of a happy future with Spencer. She was asleep in 5 minutes, similarly to JJ. 

“Hey, lover boy. I’m glad you’re making a move and all, but how about making absolutely sure everyone is asleep before you finger a girl so good she’s practically screaming, okay?”

“Shut up and go to sleep, Morgan.” Spencer muttered angrily, blushing as Morgan ruffled his hair, chuckling. 

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Out of curiosity, do Callie and chris ever run into each other/ confront each other after

CW: Referenced head-banging and resulting injury, brief ableism references, gaslighting, vaguely referenced institutional pet whump

(for context, see This Isn’t Hypothetical For Chris, “Can You Come Get Me?”, No Words, and Drop)

“Um. Hey.”

Chris, in the midst of a careful, incredibly precise drawing of a tiny Easter Island moai while studying for the Non-Western Art History test, looks up, only to freeze, his fingers tensing around his pencil until he presses so hard the lead snaps off, rolling down the notebook.

His hair is pulled back, caught at his nape with a clip Mari let him borrow, but he wishes all at once that it weren’t, so he could shake it over his face, hide behind it. That it wasn’t blue but some color no one saw in a crowd, so she wouldn’t have seen him and known it was him.

He hesitates too long, and she shifts, moving herself into his field of vision again. “Chris, are you-... are you busy?”

“Hey, um, hi... hi, Callie,” Chris mumbles, looking back down again, clicking the end of the mechanical pencil to get more lead, enjoying the sound and the very slight press of the eraser against his thumb. “I’m just, just studying. What, um, what do, do, do-do you... what do you want?”

She seems to take it as an invitation, which it isn’t. When she pulls out the chair across the table, the legs scrape along the floor impossibly loudly, but only Chris seems bothered by it. The sound makes his teeth itch, a feeling he can’t possibly describe in any other way. When he moves the chair, he picks it up, carefully placing it back down, avoiding the sound that shudders through him and digs into the tiniest bones. 

Everyone else just scrapes. 

She tucks some of her own bouncy, wavy brown hair behind one ear. It’s chilly today, it was so foggy this morning Chris could barely see from one side of the bridge to the other when he crossed over the highway to the other side of campus to get some coffee to help him cram before the test. Callie is wearing a heavy cable-knit sweater that drapes just so off one shoulder, showing the silken strap there, and skintight dark jeans. She looks really pretty, but Chris mostly thinks everyone looks pretty. 

Even Dylan in the morning looks pretty, with his hair all messed up. Even though Chris is still kind of mad at him and probably always will be. 

Chris is in his usual thick black compression shirt, helping him hold off the weight of the lights, keeping the prickle of the Student Center from digging too deeply into his skin. Over that, a t-shirt from the Lion King musical that Mari brought back from her last trip home - (”I have like five, now, Chris, I’ve seen it in like six different places you can have this one, if you want? It’s from when I saw it in Chicago.” And of course he did, he is starting a small collection of shirts he had gotten from nearly everyone he knows), and one of Jake’s heavy sweater-coats, borrowed - but really stolen - from the house last weekend. Jake pretends not to know. Chris brings them back eventually.

Between Chris and Kauri, it’s a miracle Jake ever has anything warm to wear at all.

“So, I just-... I wanted to, um. I haven’t seen you around-... oh, did you get hurt?” She cocks her head to the side, and Chris looks away from her, spinning the pencil in his fingers, his foot tapping on the ground now, nervous energy bubbling inside him. 

There’s a bandage, still, on his forehead. He wishes he could say it was from the day in class, but it’s not. It’s from a few days ago, after meeting with the grad student to sign stuff to drop the class. It’s from coming home with all his hurt and fear a spinning top that he could only calm by breaking its rhythm, and he’s, it’s regression, but it’s okay, sometimes you go back and you get back up and go forward again, Dr. Berger says it’s okay sometimes to backslide as long as you know you have people to help you get up-

“I’m fine,” He says, flat and smooth words, barely his own voice at all. “Hit my head on, on, on a cabinet.”

Technically true.

She nods, folding her hands in her lap, watching him with those sort of big sad eyes people get sometimes, when they’re working up to something and want you to know they’re not the bad guy. Her drink has a cloth sleeve on it with tiny little bow ties. He wonders if she made it herself.

She clears her throat. “Okay, um. Good to hear it. So... I just... I heard you dropped.”

“Yep.” Chris keeps his eyes down now, on his pencil. The gentle weight of his feather necklace reminds him that he has other options, too. For now, though, he spins his pencil on top of his open notebook, the drawing of the moai. “Who told you that, um, that-... that I, I dropped?”

“I mean, when you weren’t in class for a couple weeks-... you know at first I thought you just, like, you know... the teacher told you not to come by, but then you kept not coming, and...” She kind of throws her hands up. Hers are painted a cheerful blue-toned red. Chris’s are black, but they’re heavily chipped. He’s been picking at them again. “I asked Esh, finally, and he said-”

“Eshiram.”

“What?” She blinks, confused. 

“Not Esh. His, his, his name’s Eshiram.”

“No, I know, I just-... whatever. Look, so, I get that you’re probably still pretty mad, and... I’ve kind of been trying to hunt you down to say I’m sorry.”

Chris, caught off guard, pauses in spinning his pencil and turns to look at her again. “What?”

“About... I would never, ever have wanted you to feel you had to drop the class, Chris, I swear.” She leans forward, all earnest sincerity, and there’s a look of guilt on her that makes him think she means it. It wasn’t her idea, after all - if she’s even fucking talking to him, she doesn’t know what he is, she didn’t catch it like the grad student did.

After the drawn out moment, his foot starts to tap on the floor again. “It’s, um, it’s, it’s, it’s okay,” He says, wishing he had his own drink, something to hold in his hands and sip. The nerves start to wind up inside him, and he drops one hand down where she can’t see it, starts to tap on the side of his thigh.

“No, it’s not.” Callie sighs, shaking her head. Her hair moves with the motion and he catches a hint of her shampoo, it smells like fruit and honey. “It’s not, Chris. Look, I just-... I took everything you said super personally, and that wasn’t okay. I get that you, you know, you weren’t really talking about me.”

Chris turns to look at her, blinking wide green eyes, thinking, Yes, I was.

He opens his mouth to maybe tell her, but the pause goes on too long and she’s already talking again before he can. “There’s all these reports about abuse, and everything, I swear more than ever, and it just-... puts me on edge, you know? So I heard you saying-... well, you know. You don’t know that things are better at our house. All you know is what you’ve, you know, seen on the news.”

Chris takes in a breath and holds it, tapping hard against the seam of his jeans. He isn’t going to get angry. Getting angry made him have to drop and lose points off his GPA, getting angry gets him noticed by too many people all at once, angry feels heavy and hurting, angry draws attention, attention mean eyes and hands and-

Let the breath out. Exhale. He has to purposefully remind himself to do it.

“I, I, I know more than, um, than that,” He manages to say, but his voice is small. He’s no good at being angry, when it’s not in the moment, when there’s nothing to draw him out of himself. “I don’t, don’t just... build sets all day, Callie, I’m, I’m, I know other, um, other things.”

“Yeah, I know, I know. Like, I’m surprised you’re not, like, a math major or something, like in that movie-”

Chris sits back and snorts out bitter laughter. “You, you, you mean, um, The Gift?”

“Yeah! Vincent Shield did such a good job, they said he did a bunch of like, work to really get into character which is so cool since he was only, like, sixteen when he did that one with that, you know, the other guy he did movies with all the time-”

“Owen-... Owen Grant.”

“Yeah! I wonder what happened to him. Anyway-”

“Do you, do... do, do, do you think-... Callie, I suck at, um, at math.” Chris can’t help himself. He starts to laugh at the absurdity, and Callie looks like he’s hit her across the face, wide-eyed, shocked. “This is, um, this, this is, this-... this is a really, really-... really bad apology.”

“Yeah, I know.” Callie kind of laughs along with him, then, but there’s something fake and brittle to her laughter. “But I swear, I just came to say I’m sorry. It was just a misunderstanding, I really didn’t mean for you to have to drop. I swear, Chris, I don’t, like, hate you or think anything bad about you-”

You called me a fucking spastic.

“-or anything like that. I just... can you forgive me for losing my temper? I’m sorry, it’s just, when my family is attacked by people who don’t even know us, I get super defensive, and-... and I should have realized you weren’t really attacking us, just, you know, the system.”

Chris stares down at his shoes. He thinks, you are the system, it doesn’t exist without people like you who buy us, but he doesn’t say anything.

She seems to take this as agreement.

It isn’t.

“So, yeah. I’m just... I’m really sorry, Chris. Will this throw your whole, you know, graduation and everything off, or do you think you’ll still be good?”

Does she even really care? Chris swallows and raises his head, to look at her again, fixing his eyes just slightly to the left of her face, where it won’t be obvious he isn’t focused on her. An old trick, one he used to do to stay safe in training, maybe... maybe before that.

Even though he can’t remember a before that anymore.

Because of people who buy people like him.

“I’ll, um, I’ll be good,” He says, and the words taste like dust and feel like gravel on his tongue. “I worked out a, a, a-a plan with, with my, um advisor. So I’ll... I’ll be-”

so good for you

“Fine.”

“Great.” She relaxes, all smiles again, and reaches over putting her hand over his left arm, gripping a little. Chris feels the weight of it like the clap of restraints forcing him down on a table and stiffens, looking right at her the way he’s supposed to.

Years go by, but the training isn’t gone. Not all the way.

“Listen,” She says, voice low. “I really am sorry. But you just-... can’t go around thinking everybody who does something you don’t like is bad, you know?”

His heart races in his throat, he can barely swallow around it. “Yes,” He says, softly. She doesn’t hear the first stirrings of panic. But he feels them. “I... know.”

Good boy.

“I’ll see you around, Chris, okay? I’m glad we talked about this.” She pats his arm, like a handler almost, and then pushes herself to her feet. The chair scrapes back and Chris’s teeth grind together as the sound ricochets around inside him. The dim warm lights overhead lay heavily over the fabric he wears to protect himself from touch like that.

It’s not enough.

He can still feel the hand on his arm as she walks away, heads out the double-doors and is gone.

Chris’s hand slides to the feather and he pushes the silicone plastic between his teeth, letting his tongue press up against the carved vanes, sinking into the familiar sensation, letting it wrap around him, calm his pulse, help him rebuild the thin wall he needs between himself and the world.

He stares blankly off into space, chewing the feather, unnoticed by the few other people in the Student Center this early in the morning. 

She probably feels so much better.

Like so many other people in his life, she made herself feel better by making Chris feel so much worse.

After a while, still chewing on the feather, he picks his pencil back up and starts to draw another moai.

He’s probably going to fail this test.

---

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @slaintetowhump , @astrobly, @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @oops-its-whump @moose-teeth , @cubeswhump , @cupcakes-and-pain @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary

[lovemesomesurveys]

Do you have a dog? I do.  Are you single or taken? Very much single. How many pillows do you sleep with? I only use 1-2, but I have 4 on my bed. I had more, but it got to be too much lol. What do you think is the worst food? Seafood is pretty gross. Does it snow where you live? No. :(

Can you play an instrument? Nope. Is a zebra black with white stripes or white with black stripes? White with black stripes. What shoes are you wearing? I’m not wearing any currently. Are you wearing socks? Yes. Did you graduate? Yeah, I graduated with my BA back in 2015.

How many siblings do you have? I have two brothers. Are your nails painted? Nope. Have you ever been married? Noo. Did you go to prom? I did. Do you have you nose pierced? No. What is your favorite soda? Coke, Dr. Pepper, Pepsi, and the cherry versions of all 3. Can you rollerskate? Nope. Have you ever broken a bone? Yes. Shorts or Jeans? Lounge shorts around the house. Dresses or skirts? Dresses. Makeup or no makeup? No makeup. What is your favorite condiment? Ranch. Do you like cheese? I love cheese. Apple or Android? Apple. Do you have a twitch account? Nope. What about instagram? Yes. Tiktok? Yes. I don’t make them, though. Snapchat? Yeah. How old are you turning this year? I turned 32 last month. What month were you born in? Well, it’s August and I said I turned 32 last month so take a guess.  Do you like summer? Noooooooo. Hoodies or Tank tops? Hoodies. Would you shave your head for $1,000? No.

What time is it now? 10:11AM. Do you like to draw? No. I don’t have any artistic abilities. What is your favorite tv show at the moment? I have several. Do you have a nickname? Just Steph and Sis. Video games or board games? Board games. How do you like your pizza? I like pan crust and extra sauce and cheese. The toppings depend on where I get the pizza from, but my ideal pizza has crumbled meatballs, garlic, spinach, and pesto. Cilantro and green onions are good, too. Beer or wine? Neither. Are you scared of tarantulas? Uh, HELL YEAH. Have you ever been hunting? No. What about fishing? Once. Not my thing. Do you like going camping? No. What is the last fast food place you ate at? I didn’t eat there, but the last fast food place I had was Jack in the Box. During covid, do you wear a mask or no mask? I definitely wear a mask. What color is the shirt youre wearing? I’m wearing a black, blue, and gray tie-dye t-shirt dress. Netflix or Hulu? Netflix. Parrots or Owls? Uhh, owls. Do you have children? Nooo. What is your favorite movie genre? I like various genres. Do you like 90s music? Yesss. 80s music? Yes. Do you have a playstation 4? It’s my brother’s, but I use it sometimes. Have you ever played Fortnite? Nope. What is your best friends name? Yolanda. Love or lust? Love. What is in your pockets? I don’t have any pockets. I never use ‘em anyway. Do you prefer texting or calling? Texting. What time do you like to go to bed? I don’t particularly like to, but my sleep schedule is so out of whack, especially over the past year, that I’m up until the early morning hours. Do you like anime? No. Who was the last person you visited/saw? My aunt. Do you have tattoos? Nope. Pie or Cake? Cake. Do you like to bake/cook? No. Do you like sports? Nope. Have you ever been on a boat? I have. Name a state that starts with M. Michigan. Pick two words that ryhme with the word Blue. Glue and flu. Have you ever played Kingdom Hearts? I played a little back when the first one came out. Have you seen the movie The Breakfast Club? Yeah, many times. If so, who is your favorite character? I don’t have one. What day is it today? Friday. On a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you like mayonaise? 10. I love mayo, I always get extra on something that comes with it.

What is your favorite ice cream flavor? Strawberry, mint chocolate chip, cookies and cream, cake batter. Can you type fast? Yes. What year is it? 2021. Have you ever built a snowman? No. What did you have for dinner? I haven’t had dinner, yet, it’s only 10:30AM. I’m barely about to have breakfast. Do you like spaghetti? Yes, especially with meatballs. Mail or email? Email. Do you like to read? I love to read. Have you read any Stephen King books? No. Do you like skittles? Nah. What about starburst? Eh, I liked the pink ones as a kid. I couldn’t even tell you the last time I had Starburst. Fast food or home cooked meals? Both. DC or Marvel? I like both, but Marvel is my favorite. Did you vacuum today? No.

[dragonrajafanfiction]

Prompt: “A bold move to show your face here in the shadows of night.” With any of the DR characters :3 (or maybe Caesar and Johann :3)

The Day of Liberty was always high stakes. Caesar Gattuso looked forward to it every year. It was his day to reassert his greatness by defeating his one and only serious rival, Chu Zihang by demolishing his club, Lionheart.

For years, Caesar’s Student Union had won the favor of the other student societies on the campus with the promise of luxury, prestige, and funding as well as an established position after graduation. It seemed to be an easy choice. Lionheart’s leader was reclusive, soft spoken and solitary. He wasn’t entirely concerned with making a name for himself other than adhering to his own personal set of ethics. When comparing the two, Student Union seemed to be an easy choice.

As few as they were, however, those who chose Lionheart were usually the ones who had met Chu Zihang personally. Even Caesar had to admit that the man was unconsciously charismatic. Once someone joined Lionheart, they wouldn’t so much as look at a Student Union application.

 It didn’t matter to him that it was the original club that was founded by Cassell. As far as he was concerned, if it wasn’t strong enough to stand, it didn’t deserve to exist at all.

With that in mind, this year, he sent a message by one of his club members to the Lionheart club. It was an open letter challenge. This time, he would bet the entirety of his club on his win. The losing club would be forced to disband.

The message shook the ranks of Lionheart. Caesar, who had always been charitable to rivals, had finally decided to crush Lionheart once and for all.

Caesar penned his final challenge to Lionheart, and it was accepted immediately. Caesar  understood that this enemy would fight to the bitter end. And he preferred it that way. 

At Amber Hall, spotlights shown high into the night sky and music blared from a DJ booth. Student Union members gathered in gowns and their best tuxedos, champagne flowed freely. Caesar stood among it all, Nono yawning on his arm and looking bored.

“President! Sir!” A drunk and swaying member of the cartography guild staggered up to him. “I just want to congratulate you on your win! This is historic! You’ll be the only club on campus.”

Caesar grinned and threw a steadying arm around him. “Thank you for being a supporter. Without you I couldn’t have gotten this far.”

The man blushed. “I can’t really accept that sir. All I do is make maps…”

“And those maps were key in plotting our strategy these past three years. Don’t sell yourself short.” Caesar’s eyes twinkled like sapphires. “You deserve congratulations. And so does everyone else here!”

A few people in earshot raised their glasses to the ceiling. “To Caesar! To the Gattusos! To Student Union!” They shouted.

Caesar lightly shoved the cartography leader back into the crowd with a low chuckled. 

Nono filled her lungs and sighed. “Well, you finally did it. Are you happy?”

“Not really,” he murmured. “To be honest… I thought it was going to be a lot harder. At least, I have only one more year after this. It’s a shame it will be the most boring year of my life. Cassell College was to be this great institution but…” He looked around before his eyes fell on her. “Other than you? There’s too much room for improvement.”

“My last challenge will be assimilating Lionheart into the Student Union.”

Nono chuckled. “Good luck  with that.”

She tilted her head up to look  at him. “You know how loyal Lionheart members are to Chu Zihang. They would sooner leave the College entirely than leave him.”

Caesar sipped from his glass, staring out over the crowd.

“Are you going to attempt to recruit him?” He didn’t laugh with her. “Caesar?”

Caesar continued to look out over the crowd, his eyes far away, gazing out the window towards the Lionheart headquarters. Inside his heart, he had given Chu Zihang one last chance and he wanted him to take it, more than he cared to admit.

Within the Lionheart Hall, Susie and Lancelot leaned over their inventory of supplies and ammunition. “We have more than enough Frigga bullets for everyone. They’ll be stacked five high at our gate.”

Lancelot took the phone from his ear. “Moreland isn’t responding. My guess is he’s going to surrender to Student Union. Not that I blame him. I wonder if Caesar’s even going to bother leaving Amber Hall. He’s got enough people to swarm this place. All we can do is try to hold them off as long as possible. They outnumber us ten to one.”

Lancelot joined Susie at the table. “Lionheart had a good run. I for one am going to take down as many as I can.”

Footsteps were heard approaching the central room and both turned to look. Chu Zihang was like a shadow in the doorway, his amber eyes like lamps in the dark. “Is everything ready?”

“Yes sir.” Lancelot stepped to one side to let Zihang examine the plans. 

The man’s eyes lowered, taking in everything in a glance. “We’re staying here?”

“We’d fall in a hail of bullets out there. We ran every scenario. They’ll have us surrounded, flanked, cut off from each other. There’s just too many of them.” Lancelot replied.

“We’ll win by staying here?”

Lancelot and Susie exchanged glances. Lancelot gently continued, “Sir… with all due respect, winning… isn’t exactly in the cards.”

“Then your goal is to extend the life of Lionheart for a few more hours.”

Lancelot sighed, clenched his teeth and slammed his fist against the table. “I feel so bad that it's come to this. I understand why you took Caesar’s bet but… Why did he have to make it? I love this club! I don’t want to give it up. I hate thinking that we’re going to lose before we even fight but what else am I supposed to think?”

“That’s a yes then…” Chu Zihang watched as his loyal second in command nodded slowly. He placed one hand on his shoulder and squeezed it in a tight grip. “This is a fine plan Lancelot. You did your best.”

Lancelot’s throat closed and his eyes teared up. He just shook his head, unable to speak.

“That’s why I regret to tell you that I will not be accepting it. We can’t win this way.”

Lancelot gave a short laugh and Zihang returned his smile. “Longevity has never been a goal of mine.”

“I understand that I have almost no chance of winning. If anyone doesn’t wish to join me in this fight, they’re free to stay behind. However, whoever wants to join me. Have them meet with me in the entry hall in 20 minutes. Susie… let everyone know.”

Chu Zihang walked towards the entry, leaving Lancelot and Susie staring wide eyed at each other.

20 minutes later, every Lionheart member had shown up at the entry with even the previously AWOL Moreland making it.

“I’ll need twenty five of you to cross the plaza at ten minutes to the stroke of midnight and take a  position near the Hall of Valor. Stay there and wait for my instructions. Susie, you take one half of the remainder, Lancelot take the other half and position yourselves on either side of Amber Hall.”

“The Day of Liberty begins on the stroke of midnight. As soon as the last bell tolls…” Zihang spoke quietly and so the crowd surrounding him were completely hushed, hanging on his every last word. 

Zihang opened the map that Lancelot and Susie had been working with.

“Don’t they have scouts everywhere?”

“Presumably.” Chu Zihang replied. “The twenty five will be enough to draw their attention. Make sure they are wearing their uniforms. Hm…” he thought a moment. 

“Taunt them?” Another piped up.

“Don’t be too obvious.”

A gentle chuckle rumbled through the group as they realized what Chu Zihang might be up to.

“Susie, Lancelot, you two leave out the back entrance, go in opposite directions, take the long route around campus. Don’t let yourselves be seen. Gather on opposite sides of the building. Lancelot, you enter first take out everyone you can, set up positions facing out. Susie, stay outside and keep a group with you to keep others from getting in.”

“And you sir?” Susie asked.

“Don’t worry about me.” He turned to her. “No matter what, when you see me lower my sword, open fire with everything you have.”

-------

As the clock ticked closer to midnight, it began to rain. The outdoor pavilion emptied into the building and people were now milling about on the dance floor. Caesar’s mood dipped lower and lower. Caesar was a warrior. There was nothing quite as good as the fiery battlefield to him, and nothing quite as boring and anticlimactic as a siege.

All night, there had been little movement out of the Lionheart club. 

He sat at the head of a banquet table, swirling his wine but not drinking it. Nono was silent at his side, valiantly trying and failing to keep him from noticing that she was nodding off.

Then someone shouted. “Hey! Something’s happening at Lionheart!”

A series of windows had a great view of the campus, including the rival club. The Student Union members crowded them, eager to get a look at what their rivals could be getting up to.

“There’s so few of them?”

“Are they giving up?”

They moved aside as Caesar Gattuso approached the window with his wine. It had started to rain steadily but the Lionheart members were identifiable even at this distance. They were all dressed in tactical gear in Lionheart uniforms. 

.His phone rang. 

“They’re headed to the church.” Came the voice over the receiver.

“We have enough positions there, they’re not a threat. Keep me posted on their movements.”

A loud commotion erupted near the entrance of the banquet hall.

“Hey! What are you doing here? You’re not allowed in here!”

Caesar turned. His phalanx of body guards had surrounded a familiar figure dressed in a dark trench coat, a sword sheathed at his side. Caesar’s heart raced when their eyes locked. He felt an overwhelming thrill, his mood lifting from the depths and soaring high!

“A bold move to show your face here in the shadows of night. Did you come here to give up before the fight’s even started?” He bellowed, standing up.

The other Student Union members were confused at Caesar’s enthusiastic greeting and fell silent. In the lull of noise, Chu Zihang got right to the point. “No. I’ve come here to say that I won’t make you disband your club even though that is in the terms of our agreement..”

Disbelief and shock at those words silenced the entire hall. But in another moment, the banquet hall erupted into roars of uncontrollable mocking laughter. Some could barely stand up, leaning over and banging on tables, tears coming to their eyes. Even the bodyguards squinted and smirked, wondering if the Lionheart Leader had lost his mind in his defeat. Meanwhile, Chu Zihang never took his eyes off his rival.

Nono looked up at Caesar, covered one mouth with her hand and backed away a bit, crossing her arms.

It took a few moments as people glanced over at Gattuso and realized he wasn’t laughing. A cold, icy stillness had come over him as he stared down his rival. His eyes snapped with such a fearsome anger that the minute he glanced at someone, their mouth shut and the color drained from their face and ladies stepped quietly behind their men.

Out of any other person, those words would seem like a joke. 

But Chu Zihang didn’t joke. 

Once his club mates were subdued, Caesar opened his arms in a magnanimous gesture of welcome. “There’s still a few more minutes before the fight begins. Until then, Chu Zihang, you’re free to drink at my table.”

A strange, wild light flared in Caesar’s eyes. Some wondered if he was drunk by the way he approached Chu Zihang openly while the others started to reach for their weapons. Some wondered if the wine given Chu Zihang would be poisoned. 

All eyes were on Chu Zihang as he made his way to the table and on the small group of students setting up under the church tower.

The clock struck twelve. The sound of the bells, the rain and the wind whipping through the campus, masked the approach of Lionheart from the east and west entrances of Amber Hall.

Chu Zihang and Caesar Gattuso watched the wine fill up the wine glass between them, neither willing to take their eyes off the other. At the final toll of the bells, Caesar drew his weapons in an instant, but Chu Zihang was quicker, drawing his blade in an arc of light and slashing the bottle in half, sending the wine spraying into his face.

The other guests drew their weapons to defend their leader just as the Lionheart Club burst into the banquet hall from two sides.

Crowded and barely able to maneuver, more Student Union members were cut down by friendly fire than by Lionheart members. Not all of the Student Union had bothered to even arm themselves and were taken out without a fight. From outside the hall, there was nothing but the sound of the screams and gunfire, something out of the assassination of a royal family. It was mayhem.

A slaughter.

Outside of Amber Hall, the attack was so sudden that the waiting outside scout groups wondered if the party had just intensified. Instructed to keep their eyes on the Lionheart members at the church, they stayed watching, not even bothering to call in. Assured of victory, most of the Student Union had gone to the party. Those stuck watching the outside were a much smaller group.

Finally, word got out that Lionheart had struck at the headquarters of Student Union and the scattered club members poured out to the fight.

But their hesitancy had lost valuable time. By then Lionheart was already entrenched in Amber Hall. Lancelot sent his group to the windows. The rushed and disorganized approach to the building was met by a wall of fearsome gunfire. 

The twenty five members waiting next to the church, rallied and attacked the bedraggled group from behind, scattering them.

But the Student Union wasn’t done. 

Nono rushed away, followed by a trail of bullet holes in the century old plaster. She dove and rolled behind a bus table, grabbed a fallen member’s gun and fired from behind it, felling three Lionheart in three shots, before being forced to duck behind cover again. 

Pinned, she looked around and then looked up. The large banquet Chandlier shined like a sun above her. She shook her head as she imagined the look on Manstein’s face before aiming her gun at the supporting golden chains.

She fired once and it rocked, twice and it jerked lower.

One the third try, her gun clicked empty. Hissing curses she tossed it aside. A serving platter would serve nicely as a shield. She grabbed it from the bus table and dashed out of cover, the Frigga bullets leaving a trail of crimson liquid running down it. 

She dashed up the stairs towards the mezzanine.

From her vantage point, she could see Caesar and Chu Zihang locked in combat. A few Lionheart members were aiming at them, but it was impossible to get a clean shot. They were a blur of motion. Caesar pressed the offensive, cutting his blade at his nimble opponent’s neck with a power that stopped her short.

The Day of Liberty was not meant to be a lethal contest.

Zihang’s eyes kept their practiced detachment. He was not counter attacking, content to dodge and occasionally parry. He leaped behind a table to evade a thrust, knocking it over with a powerful kick, the crash of thousands of dollars worth of food seemed to wake him up. He paused, and realized he was surrounded, a dozen guns pointed straight at him.

Nono took her chance, and took a flying leap off the mezzanine and grasped the massive chandelier. Her weight was the last straw needed to send the metal structure, weighing hundreds of pounds, down onto the Lionheart members. In a second of descent it smashed into the ground sending crystal shards in all directions. Lionheart scrambled to get out of the way.

The banquet hall went dark and in the confusion, she dove on them like a lioness, knocking the Lionheart members out of the fight with a vengeance. Caesar and Zihang circled each other, taking a moment to regain their stamina.

“You don’t disappoint. I’m going to really miss this.” Caesar murmured.

Zihang was unmoved. “This was only possible thanks to your carelessness.”

Caesar snorted. “Even at my most careless, you barely stand a chance. For the past three years, you couldn’t eke out a single win. I wanted to give you every chance. I would have been disappointed if you didn’t take it.”

“It’s clear that Lionheart doesn’t deserve to exist. Any last words, Chu Zihang?” He asked, leveling his Desert Eagles at him.

Chu Zihang lowered his sword.

The glass next him shattered. Susie’s wing of fighters were still outside, fresh and ready, waiting for that one signal. Caesar hadn’t counted on the outside force on the opposite side of the building that were waiting just for him.

With that, taken off guard, panicked and with the complete loss of their leadership the Student Union forces evaporated. The weakened forces were like carrion for the galvanized Lionheart members who fell on their scattered ranks with the same mercilessness that they’d been dealt over the years.

And yet no one touched Nono, who wearily walked over to Caesar’s prone body and tipped him face up with the toe of her heeled shoe.

Then she looked at Chu Zihang. He was staggered, leaning against the wall, the red blood-like marks of Frigga bullets dotting his clothing. His breathing was labored. 

Despite the powerful drugs coursing through his system, he was upright, eyes open, fighting the unconsciousness by raising his dragonblood purity through blood rage. Even then, he was visibly shaking.

He looked at her, one hand still on his sword despite everything. 

“Don’t make me shoot you again, Nono.” Susie’s voice came from outside. “There’s enough of us to take you out easily.”

Nono casually tossed her pistol aside and laughed. “Far be it from me to get between my boyfriend and his one true love.”

[manga-and-stuff]

Interview with Makoto Yukimura, the Mangaka behind Vinland Saga

REALQ: What kind of child were you? Yukimura: I was a laid back kid, who took a very, very long time to come to a decision. I'd be late to dinner because I was thinking about something or other. Once, while I was alternately touching the right and left eyes of a snail, I became aware that night had fallen. I wondered why my group of friends were always in such a hurry. I would focus on something and lose the ability to tell if time was passing quickly or slowly.

REALQ: When did you first encounter manga? Yukimura: I was five-years-old and the manga was Akira Toriyama's Dr. Slump. I remember thinking the cover art was cool. When I was little, I used to think that the cover art and the story inside were drawn by different people. [Laughs]    But I watched the Dr. Slump anime before I read the manga. Later, someone told me that there was a manga that the anime was based on and I found the weekly magazine where it was serialized. In the beginning, I was dubious. I didn't see why there needed to be both a manga and an anime. Like, why do the same thing twice? How-ever, after I saw them both it made sense because each had its own idiosyncracies. REALQ: Did your parents say anything to you about reading manga? Yukimura: No, they never said anything. They came from a generation who said reading manga made you an idiot, but they didn't say any-thing. They didn't say anything when I told them at 16 that I wanted to draw manga, either.

REALQ: Was there anything that your parents, siblings, or people around you would say to you often?

Yukimura: There certainly must have been various things, but I don't remember because I was probably concentrating on something else at the time and didn't hear them. However, one thing I do remember is being told to watch out for cars. Like, at the very least, try not to die. [Laughs] Nevertheless, I really did get into a traffic accident. Once, on my way to the park to play with my friends, I ran out into the street and got hit on the side by a sedan. I rolled over the top of the car—the hood, wind-shield, top, rear window, then the trunk. Strangely, I wasn't seriously injured and played in the park afterwards. Actually, there was also another incident.    My sister and I were riding together in a car. It was just the two of us and as we were going down a hill, a car suddenly appeared and we hit its side. I was sitting in the backseat and was launched forward like a catapult. My sister was so surprised she called out, "Mako, you're flying!" Strangely, I wasn't injured that time either, and we decided not to tell our mother. [Laughs] REALQ: Did your way of thinking change after the accident? Yukimura: I think that if it did change, I wasn't conscious of it. Despite being a near-death experience, it was a miracle I wasn't injured. My mother getting angry at me afterward was more frightening. [Laughs] In terms of my "way of thinking," I'm a little different. Like something in me is lacking. It's often the case that for some reason I don't fully comprehend a conversation even if I'm really trying to concentrate on what the other person is saying. What's the reason? If I'm honest about it, it's because I'll start thinking about something else, even if it's just for a moment. REALQ: Did you also have trouble paying attention during class at school? Yukimura: Yeah. Especially classes that didn't interest me. I continued to have this problem in high school, where I'd often be sitting in class and before I realized it, the bell would ring. However, my notebook would have stuff drawn in it...manga. REALQ: Didn't teachers or friends say anything? 

Yukimura: In high school, I didn't have much of a social life, so nobody said anything. I went to reasonably academic schools [REALQ Editor's note: Yukimura graduated from Chuo University and Suginami High School] and my peers studied quite hard. The feeling that I was so different from most of the people around me had a big effect on me. I didn't fit in. I lived in my own world.

REALQ: Did student life give you anxiety? Yukimura: Anxiety was the only thing I really felt. In a way, isn't school a microcosm for society? Despite it being a microcosm, there's this feeling of being left behind. That made me really anxious and sad. But as a result of suffering in this way, I realized that society existed out-side of this microcosm—a kind of society that I had never experienced inside the microcosm of school.

REALQ :What lead you to have this epiphany? Yukimura: It occurred to me out of the blue one day when I was feeling totally devastated. I was 16. One autumn day after school I thought to myself, "I'll finish high school because if I don't, it will make my parents sad. But participating in a society reflected in this kind of microcosm will be impossible." It was just like that moment when a cup is filled to the brim with water and suddenly the surface tension breaks and it overflows.  However, thinking this made me feel better. Until that point, the "ruler" for determining success since the first year of high school had been getting good grades, getting into a good college, and then finding a job with a good company. This ruler contained within it a system of values for how one should live their life. When I decided that this was not the ruler I wanted to use to measure my own life, things became a lot easier for me. I used to get burnt out worrying so much about getting decent enough grades that would allow me to get into university. Like, "please let me just graduate!" Realizing that there was another way to live was a lifesaver. 

Of course, I think it made my parents nervous. In that era, there was still a deeply rooted notion that one's academic background was im-portant and working for a good company made you a good person. Back then, this was like saying, "Your child is the type of kid who won't find their way in the world." It was like throwing away the most important ruler and replacing it with a new ruler that was a little bent and covered with indecipherable markings. [Laughs]    REALQ: Was there anyone from your high school days who had an influence on you? Yukimura: A teacher who taught classical literature. He was apparently a teacher with quite bizarre interpretations of the material. More than anything else, what left the greatest impression on me was when he used class time to talk about how wonderful Michael Ende was [REALQ Editor's note: a German writer of children's fiction]. He introduced me to The Never Ending Story. Once I knew about Michael Ende, he became an influence on me. It was the first book I knew of in which someone wrote a book because he had a sense of obligation and a goal in relation to society and the world. I thought that someone who wrote a book because he felt that it was something he had to do was a rather beautiful thing to wish for. REALQ: Next up... Yukimura discusses the connection between himself and Thorfinn Karlsefni, the protagonist of his Vinland Saga. Is there anything that makes you hesitate when you draw your manuscripts? 

Yukimura: For characters, it's probably the hands. Hands take time to do well. The strength of a character's grip on a sword, for example. Male and female hands are hard to differentiate, too. Hands are the most expressive part of a character, after the face. 

I've heard that you can tell a person's personality from their hands, so I always look at them. [Laughs]    You can fake a facial expression, but your hands will show how hard you work or how hard you don't. If you show the character's life in their hands, you'll get a good result. REALQ: When did you start paying attention to how you drew hands? Yukimura: Since I was young. But I still find it difficult now. When I look at the work of other manga artists, sometimes the faces are well drawn, but the hands are not. To put it bluntly, if I were to choose among artists, I would choose them by how they draw their hands. REALQ: Is there anyone whose work you reference? Yukimura: I'm especially influenced by artists with high amounts of realism. When it comes to hands, it's gotta be Katsuhiro Otomo. 

It's not just his hands, though. It's everything. [Laughs] 

Also, the young, up-and-coming artists are all quite good. Their hands are pretty, but you can see the structure clearly as well. REALQ: Any thoughts on these hands? [While looking at Sigurd's hands in the manuscript] Yukimura: Yes. These hands are drawn fairly well. In Sigurd's case, de-spite the muscularity, his hands are not rough. That's because he has his underlings do the tough work. In Thorfinn's case, he has many small cuts, and there is more cracked and peeling skin.

REALQ: Are there any scenes in Vinland Saga strongly influenced by your own experience? Yukimura: When Thorfinn is on his knees, apologizing. [Laughs] The part where he says, "Please. I won't ask you to forgive me, but allow me to live a bit longer." I've been drawing manga for 20 years. There's always a shadow of guilt that hangs over me. I'm sorry for being so selfish. So, I feel I have to, at the very least, draw something that readers will love... I'm nothing without that. Thorfinn is a young viking from medieval Europe. Since his teens, he's pillaged, fought in wars, and done many other terrible things. His feelings change as he grows, and he starts to feel guilt for his past actions. The ghosts of those he killed appears in his dreams, and he is ravaged by nightmares.    I am only here today because of the care of those around me. I am truly thankful. If anything about Thorfinn comes from my experiences, it has to be this. In his current state, the protagonist has no right to convict anyone else. No matter what kind of scoundrel he meets, Thorfinn always feels that he has done something worse in the past. I think it's good this way.

REALQ: Did you know from the beginning that Thorfinn would become the way he did? Yukimura: Yeah. The story began with the premise that the protagonist is fated to have done many terrible things. He goes from being the oppressor to being the oppressed, and in doing so, he learns many things and becomes an adult. He then departs, saying, "I will go to a new land beyond the sea and build a peaceful country." That is an escape from the values that dominated European society. They do not feel that it is bad to wage war and plunder other countries. And, although their opponents are human beings, they believe they have the right to make the weak into slaves and kill them if they need be. In the society of that time, such things were seen as good things. Thorfinn experiences—and hates—both. But he is powerless to change the system... So he decides to leave. There will be terrible bloodshed if he decides to change the world. So he leaves it to Canute. Because Canute has the power and the shorter path. "I am different," he says. "I will live in a different way." When I put it into words, it seems like a lot of what I think is reflected in my work. [Laughs]

REALQ: From your childhood experiences and your writing process, I get the feeling you are a perfectionist who doesn't com-promise when it comes to goals or ideals. Do the people around you feel the same way? 

Yukimura: I think I am a perfectionist. In the past, my seniors and teachers would say, "If 100 points is amazing work and 0 points is nothing, it's easy to get to 80 points. However, each point beyond that is incredibly difficult. Past 90, it's so rough that you'll start spitting blood. And nobody gets to 100." I don't know if, by absolute standards, my work is at 80 points. But, for my own standards, I care a lot about each of those 1 or 2 points beyond 80. I care so much that others see the changes I make and say, "He pushed back the deadline for this? What's changed?" [Laughs] I've even rewritten an entire manuscript before. REALQ: Is it really rough when you have to throw out a whole manuscript? Yukimura: It's sad that to know the work won't produce results, but the worst possible thing for me is to feel regret afterwards. If I can choose to suffer for a brief moment as I draw, then I'll do it. The regrets afterward stay around much longer... REALQ: Are you happy about the reactions of your overseas readers? Yukimura: Yeah. It's encouraging to know they like my work. Especially when I heard some of them were reading Vinland Saga side-by-side with a dictionary. I forgot which language they were translating from and into, though. [Laughs]

REALQ: Let me change the subject: Advice from adults to children... Do you think it's important to emphasize the importance of having dreams? Should we tell kids to have dreams and tell them their dreams will come true? Yukimura: I used to think dreams were just desires. However, I was a good-for-nothing back then, so I think I was being resentful. [Laughs] At the very least, I don't think doing whatever you want to do is a beautiful thing. That's just you doing what you want to do. The truly beautiful things are helping others, volunteering, things like that... Finding a home for a stray dog, or doing things that no other person wants to do—that's beautiful.    This includes me, but to do what you want to do is simply selfishness. I received my role in society, but I couldn't carry it out. I wasn't a modest enough person for that. I said such things because I thought I would do what I wanted to do no matter what other people said to me. It's the same for everyone, I think. Those who do what they want and succeed are simply the ones who ended up with a place in society. It's a miracle. After all, what some people want is to carry out meaningless terrorism... But it's the same thing. Both are "dreams." REALQ: If you could give an hour of advice to your younger self, what would you say? Yukimura: I'd say, reflexively, to be 3 times as careful of oncoming traffic. [Laughs] More seriously, I'd say, "You're worried that you're inferior to others. But don't worry." I'd tell myself that there isn't only one ruler to mea-sure yourself by. "Humans come in all sorts," I'd say. "There's not a single number line that we all stand on." Text by Shuta Miura

[skinks]

mr wentworth yes i help my son with his goofy voices yes i am a dilf tozier has the salt n pepper hair of god (oscar isaac) and the sexy librarian glasses to match

god I had never even considered that... the range of this...

Went starts going gray at 32 when Richie is 5 and it’s all the church women’s group can talk about... indirectly, of course. Oh, but he’s so young. Oh, he’ll be balding next. Oh I don’t know, doesn’t he look... distinguished? Mrs Nash from just down their street sees him doing rock-paper-scissors with his son Richard in the grocery store to determine whether or not Richard is allowed ice cream, and Dr Tozier is laughing because he’s winning, and he’s winning because Richard doesn’t know his father can see his little hidden hand reflected in the freezer cabinet, tucked behind his back. Richard’s laughing too, even though he’s losing, and bleats, “Again! Dad again,” eyes shining big as planets with coke-bottle rings.

“Don’t you know what best two out of three means? That was four draws ago.”

“No! No, I’ll win!” The boy shakes his head so hard his whole body rocks from side to side, then clings up at Dr Tozier’s middle with sticky hands. His very... trim middle. Helen’s own Rory, God love him, he enjoys a sudsy six-pack too much these days to keep a middle like that. “Two outta three! Three ice creams please Dad please please Dad please watch I can count to a hundred—”

“Well, we’re not playing hide-and-go-seek right now, Rich. And I beat you, didnt I?”

“Yeah!”

“Right. So why don’t you go get Dad six apples instead, alright? If you can do a hundred, six’ll be pie.” Dr Tozier claps his big hands gentle to the boy’s round cheeks, until they goldfish.

“Easy as,” they chant together. Helen props herself up with the handles of her own cart, the can of little hotdogs going slack in her hand.

“Six apples, then come right back. You got that, doc? You pick the color.”

Richard nods like he’s trying to detach his own head. Dr Tozier puts one hand just briefly on Richard’s dark mophead hair, like he’s giving the boy a blessing for his apple adventure. His hand is really quite broad, thinks Helen, popped out square at the thumb-joint. Matches that jawline of his, something whispers darkly in her stomach. Then the boy’s off, tearing down the aisle on a squeaking chariot of scuffed-gray sneakers and babbling what sounds like a Bugs Bunny impression, repeated on a loop. What’s up doc what’s up doc what’s up doc, fading around the corner to the fruit. Peculiar. Helen once saw the Tozier boy eat a worm at the park while pushing her youngest on the swings, after another solemn-eyed little boy with a faceful of freckles had carefully presented it to him in the sand box. Most peculiar.

Dr Tozier watches him go, then turns back to the freezer cabinet, and sticks two cartons of ice cream into his shopping cart—the very sugary kind. And the man is a dentist!

Helen puts her hand on her chest to calm the trilling schoolgirl rush of her heart, and then stops herself at the sight of her own wedding ring. Get a hold of yourself, Mrs Nash! For Pete’s sake! She trundles her cart over for some chit-chat. Afternoon, Doctor, she says, lovely weather. A perfect neighbourly opener. It is lovely; bright and warm and clear and golden, like honey outside. She’s quietly smug about her new blowout. Dr Tozier is wearing a crisp shirt with buttons like neat soldiers and short sleeves, exposing lean forearms. Yes, a lovely day. Helen swallows.

“Yes, good for the lawn,” replies Dr Tozier.

“We missed Margaret at book club this week,” Helen hedges.

“Oh, that’s right,” says Dr Tozier, and the fine lines at the corners of his eyes when he grins are even more distracting without the facemask he’s usually wearing, when Helen drops in for her check-ups. He pushes his spectacles up the strong slope of his nose. They’re wiry like him, steely gray to match his eyes. “She meant for me to tell you, or Diana. Maggie’s been in Skowhegan for the week at her mother’s. My mother-in-law is a woman of... nervous disposition, shall we say. Maggie didn’t think she’d cope with two Tozier men at once, now that Richie’s started losing his teeth.”

“Ohhh,” Helen coos. That must explain the ice cream. She puts her hand near to Dr Tozier’s arm, then away, then near, then away again for good. A neighbourly distance. Margaret is a lovely, lucky woman, even if she does wear flared pants. Hippie to yuppie pipeline’s alive ‘n’ flowin’, Rory always grunts whenever the Toziers come up in conversation. Helen imagines a picket fence between their bodies, and calms. “My Wendy was the same, I’m sure you remember.”

“Yes,” says Dr Tozier mildly. “You brought her in six times as I recall it, Mrs Nash.”

Mrs Nash. Honestly, like she’s his schoolteacher. It’s a little rude. Admittedly he does look quite, quite young with his faintly curling weekend-hair, if not for the new gray blazing a trail back from his temples like virgin snow. Helen is undeterred, even if something quivers inside at the thought of the word virgin in conversation with Dr Tozier. Music tinkles tinny through the ceiling speakers, and it puts Helen in mind of potted plants, or elevators. This is a lovely chat. “Well, you hate to see them suffer, don’t you? I’m sure Richard’s the same, lots of tears—”

“No, actually, Richie keeps on finding things to hit himself in the face with and knock out more teeth,” Dr Tozier interjects. He raises his eyebrows and speaks hushed, as if this is a secret for Helen’s ears alone. The thought makes her dizzy. “It’s my fault, I made the mistake of giving him a quarter for the first one. That’s why he’s not invited to Grandma’s. Lot of antiques.”

“Oh,” says Helen, taken aback. She has three girls; little boy behavior is as yet mystifying. “Well.”

“I’m joking, Helen,” Dr Tozier says cheerfully.

“Oh. I—I see. What a relief.”

He opens a freezer chest to examine a bag of frozen peas. “Maggie’s mom is deaf as white cat, she’d never notice.”

Helen tries to wipe her clammy hands on her dress without being obvious. Her face is hot, but she hopes her cardigan conceals the effect that the chill of the freezer aisle is having under her bra. She also hopes that it doesn’t.

He really does have such a slender, pleasant face, always with an air of casual, amused expectancy hanging around him. Haloing him, like that bright yellow light above the chair in his practice, blocked out when he leans over and slips his fingers inside. Helen supposes that’s what graduating medical school must do to a man, what marrying and fathering young and having one’s own practice by the end of such a turbulent decade as the nineteen-seventies must elicit. The ability to put people at ease, to—to say open wide and know the people of Derry trust him enough to comply. To open themselves. Helen’s breathing catches. Dr Tozier idly checks his sensible watch, still smiling the unhurried smile of a man who very rarely does his own grocery shopping anymore. Everyone knows you pick up the ice-cream last.

Helen gathers herself. This is the longest conversation she has entertained with Dr Tozier without children or the squeaking of latex gloves between them, and she’s gripped by the terribly silly need to be interesting. “Speaking of white cats, I couldn’t help noticing your hair, Wentworth—”

“DADDY!”

Dr Tozier blanches, whipping around to scan the end of the aisle. He is a long line of tense instinct tuned to thrum into action at one specific frequency, knuckles white on the cart handle. His cart bumps into Helen’s. It is thrilling.

“Fuck,” Dr Tozier mutters, and that’s thrilling too, he swore, oh, the boy’s probably fine Wentworth, don’t go, why don’t we just stay right here with the frozen goods and—

Then Richard comes barrelling back down the aisle like a colt on new legs covered in old Band-aids, with his arms full. The fluorescent strip-lights gleam white on Dr Tozier’s broad shoulders and he sags, like snow dropping from a branch, with relief.

“Hey, lunkhead,” he says, sounding shaky, but Richard is only five and would never know it. He’s babbling again. Seems to Helen like the boy’s as a hydrant overflowing on a hot day; entertaining and welcomed at first, until it becomes a nuisance when you begin to understand it won’t shut off, and have to call the firemen.

“Nyyeeeeeah,” Richard greets his father, tousled and bug-eyed with clear adoration, breathing hard from his Supermarket Sweep. Then he makes the carrot-noise. Looks like Bugs, Helen thinks of the boy’s new adult front teeth, the beaverish jut of them exacerbated by his missing canines on either side. Then she feels abruptly un-neighbourlike for being jealous of a child for his father’s attention, good grief.

Dr Tozier regards his son for a long moment. Then says, “What’s up, doc?” in a spot-on Mel Blanc whine. Richard giggles so hard his too-big glasses start slipping. “How many apples is that?”

“Gotta apples and I was gonna put ‘em in a bag but I forgot and Dad, Daddy look, s’a dinosaur on the box for my dinner when Mommy’s at Grandma’s—”

Dr Tozier sighs, putting one hand on his hip and dragging the other over his clean-shaven mouth, watching Richard drop his armfuls everywhere, scattering the linoleum. He has two apples, four boxes of brightly colored cereal, a handful of pencils topped with cartoon-character erasers, and a kiwi fruit. For a moment, Helen sees the shining enamel of Dr Tozier’s everything-will-work-out-with-another-cup-of-coffee amusement slip, wear away to worry underneath.

“Rich,” he says, interrupting Richard’s blabbermouth, firm and patient. Helen’s thighs burn suddenly under her skirts at the tone of his voice, and she looks down, rearranging her own groceries. She should leave them to get on. She could offer to help. Margaret’s out of town, poor things, they probably haven’t eaten a cooked meal all week!

“Richie,” Dr Tozier says again. “Listen and pay attention when Mom or me ask you to do something, remember? How many apples did I ask you to get?”

Richard has to crane his neck to meet his father’s eyes. Dr Tozier is one of the tallest fathers in the Derry Elementary catchment zone, Helen has checked. “Six!”

“And how many’ve you got, Elmer Fudd?”

“Um.” Richard’s pale little face creases in thought, then brightens. When he speaks again his voice is strange, accented. “Twooo.”

“Some apple hunter you are, huh.”

“Sorry, Daddy.”

“That’s fine.” Dr Tozier stoops to gather Richard’s detritus, and Helen knows she has something to contribute, watching the boy stick one of the pencils up his nose.

“You know, apples are very good for you,” she says. Richard turns to her, slack-jawed, as if seeing her for the first time. “You should listen to your Daddy, Richard, an apple a day keeps the doctor away.”

Richard stares for another few seconds. Then he bites down on his boogery pencil so that it threads through the gaps in his teeth, and hollers, “MY FRIEND BILL SAID THAT’S A PILE OF BULLSHIT.”

“No shouting indoors, Rich,” says Dr Tozier, still gathering. Helen rocks a step backwards, clinging to her cart like a life-preserver.

“Bill and my’s friend Eddie eats a thousand apples and sees the doctor all the time though Dad, and Miss Spiegel said if we eat apples we don’t have to see the doctors but Eddie eats them and—Bill said—”

“Pile of bullshit, yeah, I liked it. Bill’s an eloquent guy,” says Dr Tozier. This is the second time Helen has ever heard him curse in as many minutes. It comes out easy and amused as everything else does in his pleasant tenor. His legs and his jaw are so lean and angular that Helen can see the suggestion, the shadow of the shape of his perfect, swearing teeth through his cheek as he grins helplessly at his son, the fruit of his loins and someone else’s loins who isn’t Helen, and all of a sudden she feels a slick pulse of wet heat, up between her thighs.

She squeaks. Flutters her hand to her face without knowing why, perhaps to catch the noise before Dr Tozier notices, just another quivering Derry leaf tossed along by his breezy manner. He looks up anyway, with a frown.

“Everything alright, Helen?”

“Just—fine, yes,” she manages. Dr Tozier is still down on one knee, kindly face level with her skirts. She can see right down under his starched collar from this angle, a slivering glimpse of smooth, dark hair. No undershirt. Helen has lain naked against Rory’s nakedness before without feeling this alive, in every part of her body. She feels like a heart, beating.

“Oh, hang on.” Dr Tozier says, eyes widening, and turns Richard by the shoulders to face her. One pencil for each nostril, now. “Apologize to Mrs Nash for cussing, Richie.”

“Sorry!” Richard shouts, sounding less like he’s apologizing and more like he’s just deemed Helen it during a game of tag.

Helen is still floating in a dazed state of mild panic. Like a prey-mouse, bewitched into slack compliance by her own body’s snaking desires. “That’s alright, dear.”

F-word, Dr Tozier had said. Maybe cussing could be quite neighbourly when applied in the right context, thinks Helen.

“You mentioned my hair, earlier,” says Dr Tozier, straightening back up with a knowing sort of arch to his eyebrow as he smiles genially at Helen. He tilts his head down at Richard. “There’s the reason. Every last one, sprinkled onto my head at the tender age of thirty-two by the great salt-and-pepper shaker of fatherhood. Especially this week, with Maggie on sabbatical. Had to bring you to work with me, didn’t I, buckaroo?”

Richard bites and swings and tugs on his father’s long arm, a tearaway kitten with a much obliging scratching post. Dr Tozier hardly seems to notice. “Yeah! Daddy’s got fishes at work!”

Dr Tozier grimaces slightly at Helen, but also as if he’s seeing right through her to some past unnamable horror. “I liked those fish. Calmed down the nervy patients.” He sighs again.

Helen wonders briefly whether or not the residents of Dr Tozier’s waiting-room fish tank suffered the same fate as that worm in the park, and decides she’d rather not know.

“Well, you needn’t worry about it,” she says, gamely. She watches her hand reach towards Dr Tozier’s silver-black brindle, then snatches it back from his bland expression to brush the tips of her own feathered-out hair. “The gray, I mean.”

Dr Tozier blinks.

“It’s very—that is to say, you look, it makes you look, I mean, I think it’s—”

Dr Tozier’s left eyebrow joins his right, raised up high.

A tidy little jet of hysteria shoots up from Helen’s knotting stomach to spin like a top in her chest. She hears herself stutter out the word, “Dashing,” and immediately wishes to flee the store, leaving her cart abandoned like so much collateral damage.

But Dr Tozier only barks a laugh, a short, smooth hah like everything else he says. Entirely unperturbed. “Well, thank you.”

Too unperturbed. Helen is struck by a sudden bolt of terror, at the thought of the things Dr Tozier must surely hear every day, when people are lulled by the hypnotically intimate environment of a dentist’s chair and a touch of the laughing gas. Oh, this is terrible. Her face is on fire.

“But they—they make products for men now,” she says, and why, oh why can’t she stop talking? “Hair dyes, I mean, if it really does bother you? I’ve seen them in Keene’s.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary,” says Dr Tozier, looking down at Richard then with a soft edge, at his bouncing noise and scabbed knees and gently curling hair like a black spaniel’s. Like his father’s. “I find I’m rather grateful for it, truth be told.”

“Plus,” he continues, as if Helen wasn’t already melting harder than the Tozier’s ice-cream, as if Johnny Kitchener the shop-boy isn’t going to have to come along with a mop and bucket to clean up on aisle seven, “Maggie’d kill me if I got rid of it.”

Then Dr Tozier winks.

Oh Lord, oh Lord, Helen’s whole ribcage is so tight she can’t squeeze out a reply, because who could blame dear, pretty, annoyingly friendly, lucky, lucky, lucky Margaret for that when Dr Wentworth Tozier DMD is so—

So f—

So fffffff—

So fiddlesticksing handsome!

“Well, we’d best not keep you, Helen. This one is in dire need of a bath before his mother sees him, and hands me a divorce on the spot,” Dr Tozier says, when another few moments have passed and all Helen can do is try to desperately smooth the creases from her breathing. He’s humming mild interest at something Richard is saying, knelt back down to the linoleum to tie the boy’s loose-worm laces presumably before he gives himself any more skinned knees, and they’re leaving. Dr Tozier is leaving, and Helen hasn’t done anything but act like a ninny this entire time. She doesn’t want him to think her a ninny, a simpleton. She wants him to leave this bright, liminal church of bold colors and jazzy waiting-room music and return to his lemon-yellow two-storey house thinking my, what a lovely chat I had with Helen Nash.

She wants to linger, as he lingers. Like an amiable spirit hanging over the women’s group at church, waiting to be summoned at a moment’s eager notice. I bumped into Dr Tozier at Palmer’s on Saturday, she’ll say to the other jealous ladies, with triumph, and we had such a nice talk. He called me Helen.

“And when—when does Margaret get home?” she blurts. A very secret part of Helen wants Dr Tozier to leave this conversation with Helen and his wife both, entwined by association in his mind. She tries very hard not to think about the Toziers divorcing, because that is un-neighbourly, and feels least neighbourly of all when a dopey, dreamy look crosses Dr Tozier’s face like a brief sunbeam at her question.

“Ah. Tonight. Not too late, hopefully.” He jerks one of his knuckley thumbs at his shopping cart, licking the other to wipe something unidentifiable from Richard’s grubby face. “That’s why we’re here, stocking up for her miraculous return. Like a couple of noble emperor penguins in Antarctica, eh Rich?”

“Penguins like from Batman! Ka-pow.”

Helen takes a peek into their cart, curiosity getting the better of her now that permission is granted. Dr Tozier might not know it, but looking into another person’s cart is bad grocery etiquette, especially in a town like Derry, where gossip grows like a fungus in every sweaty and close little huddle of people. Not that Helen would know about that. Anyway, there isn’t much to gossip about besides the unfortunately liquefied ice-cream, the severe lack of crunchy vegetables characteristic of a young man in 1981 trying to provide for a tooth-shedding son, and—

A little cardboard box. Tossed unashamedly between the Wonderbread and a magazine about sports. Prophylactics. Rubbers.

36-pack. XL

Helen knows her jaw is hanging open and strains to close it, the back of her neck and her shoulders feeling hot and tight and shuddery. She kneads a fist into her skirts. Crosses her legs at the ankles as demurely as she knows how, because the very last thing she needs is for frank, sensible Dr Tozier to see right through her with that easy doctor-patient-confidentiality smile, and know she’s soaking through her underwear at the sight of his Saturday grocery run, and all it implies.

Dr Tozier is laughing, nudging Richard in the direction of the register, or perhaps the apples. “Ka-pow is right. I’ll make sure to use that on Mom, thanks. Say hello to Rory for us, Helen. Have a nice day,” he says from over his shoulder, startling her. Holds up one long hand in a wave with a grin, and is gone, shadowing the boy’s haphazard attempts to push the cart despite not being able to see where he’s going.

Helen stands amongst the humming freezers, trembling. “You too,” she rasps, but Dr Tozier has rounded the corner, and is evidently going to have a nice day and a much nicer night, regardless of whether Helen wishes it for him or not.

All the bright little branded characters are watching her from their shelves, a silent jury. Helen Nash opens a freezer cabinet with a weak arm, and stands there for a while, staring at a leg of ham and thinking cooling, neighbourly thoughts.