#this is the first gif series that i have successfully started and completed in its whole with regular posts aaaaaa i'm so happy

[sherrymagic]

I love you. I love love love love you. From your moon.

June Wanwimol as LUNA in Episode 12 23.5 (2024)

[spectral-snippets-and-drabbles]

Beware the Blob Mafia

Where Danny is younger (12-ish) wants to be an entomologist (Insect Scientist) instead of an astronaut and develops a different core as a result...an Insect core!

Also, I kind of headcanon that Blobs are animal ghosts and Zone-born ghosts while Shades are intelligent Sapient ghosts who crossed over the the Infinite Realms.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~

• It all started when a blob got caught in the middle of a fight with one of his rouges. The little blob remembered Danny when he released it and a small bundles of them from his parents' traps. Intially, they saw the boy as an unusually powerful newborn predator, so they tended to stay away to avoid being eaten by him up until they realize he was purposely freeing several dozens of them from the bad human scientists with no sinister intent.

- They decide to form a symbiotic relationship with Danny by becoming a loyal swarm in the hopes of staying close to him as protection, as they are lowest on the food chain. The young Halfa has no idea they imprinted on him, he thinks they're just being extra friendly.

Blobidious (as Danny named him) and his group bring refined ambient ectoplasm and human food to their protector to keep both sides of the Halfa nourished. They unintentionally stole from random restaurants, stores, and homes for a little while until Danny catches wind of food going missing from people's houses and has to teach them to not do that. Though, the occasional Nasty Burger wouldn't hurt anyone...a small fee in the shape of a combo meal for keeping Amity Park safe, if you will.

- Thankfully, Sam and Tucker help by having food stuff stashed away in their rooms at their houses for the little battalion to grab for him when he's hungry, as his own home is to dangerous.

• As time passes, Danny's new ghost core slowly evolves to become a living hive/den for blob ghosts to live in where they rest after a day of successfully working on collecting nourishment for their protecter. With the area around his core becoming a small pocket dimension that serves as the main nesting area for them, adorned with a honeycomb pattern over its surface.

- Danny's human body has also evolved to hide the ecto signature of the swarm and himself as a defense mechanism, making the Fenton household defenses unable to detect their ecto signatures, much to his surprise and relief. When he transforms for the first time after his body successfully completes its metamorphosis, he appeared more insect-like in the beginning.

(Think like Devorah from MK series.)

Due to the nature of having a bestial core, he can transform into a large variety of Insect/Human forms and utilize their abilities via his Obsession with bugs. Danny's already insane strength and skill set being amplified by using the powers of the most unique insects on the planet.

• Danny's naturally produced ectoplasm from his body combined with the refined ambient ectoplasm collected by the swarm creates a ghost jelly. As he uses it to revitalize himself for the first time, the effects are almost instant, with wounds healing themselves rapidly and finding himself full of energy that lasts for days with no need for sleeping or eating. Due to the energy crash, he uses it sparingly, which causes an overflow resulting in a leaky core and him puke up the excess amounts.

Not wanting to have it happen again, he lets his swarm have the excess as reward for everything they've been doing for him, completely unaware of the hell he was gonna unleash on everyone with this offering to his little buddies.

~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~ ~•~

• They proceed to evolve rapidly and become much more powerful as a result of eating the jelly. They begin to specialize and diversify their roles to better aid their boss to help him succeed and survive in Amity's ghost-ridden madness. Their symbiosis has resulted in Danny learning a form telepathy only he and the Swarm can communicate with.

From the simple blob ghost, Collectors, Warriors, Hunters, Scouts, and Workers arise to fill new roles. What's more astounding thing is the fact that they aren't just stronger, but have a higher intellect and can think and behave with reason, picking up on Danny's thought process and following his lead.

- Collectors are tasked to seek out ambient ectoplasm and food for the Danny. They also evolved in a way to leech it from hostile ghosts and follow hunters/soldiers to aid in subjugation. They can even drain humans attackers of their stamina and emotions, stripping them of their will to fight and leaving them unable to act.

- Soldiers are responsible for accompanying Danny to fights and following his orders on the field. They are also tasked with protecting the civilians from other ghosts looking to cause harm and evacuate the nearby area. The townsfolk were intially terrified, seeing monstrous ghost bugs, but calmed down knowing that they were Phantom's " pets", ready to defend them all.

- Hunters specialized in stealth, ambush and hit-and-run tactics, purposely venturing out into Amity Park and seek out his rouges in packs and dragging them back after paralyzing the offenders to be souped with a few Collectors in tow to squeeze 'em dry.

- Scouts are the crew that watched over Danny when he sleeps or when he's unable to transform into Phantom at the time, patrolling Amity Park for ghostly activity. If they saw/sensed a nearby ghost, they would emite a pheromone to alert the horde.

- Workers kept their intial blob form and stay inside Danny to be on standby to strengthen his body via nurturing it and repair it from the inside, taking the non-combat role; focusing on healing his wounds and making his body much more durable and healthy by merely being the caretakers of their boss. Thanks to their continued efforts, it increases the space for small pocket dimension to carry things he would need and increase the capacity for the swarm's hive.

His body is at its peak and the definition of perfect health. Perfect sight, hearing, strength with a quick healing factor for a boy young as he!

• Danny was intially surprised when the Swarm first came out of their volition to fight and was worried for them. But after seeing them pull a Cujo and transforming into Insect monsters of various sizes to beat down the unsuspecting victim rouge (Box Ghost), he's relieved that they're safe and he's excited that he's no longer alone in the literal fights against ghosts and that his friends don't have to jeopardize themselves without proper backup.

• Meanwhile, Danny's rouges are having an awful time in the wake of his growing bond to his Swarm. They can't enter the living world without a literal army of blob ghosts waiting for them to pop out the portal.

- Skulker tried to hunt them down only resulting in him getting his suit torn to shreds by the Welp (Phantom/Danny) when one of his blobs got hurt by the hunter's stray shot.

- Ember tried to pull a Pied Piper and force them under her control, but it only resulted in her guitar getting badly damaged and her ectoplasm sucked out of her by the Collectors.

- Spectra and Bertrand developed a severe phobia of insects after they brought her scheme crashing down and nearly killed them both after she tried to manipulate Danny like in canon, reveling in his despair until it brought the full fury of the swarm to make the attempt to destroy her when she made him upset. The swarm would've succeeded if Danny didn't call them off and she hasn't returned from the Zone since.

- Technus kept having his machines melted by corrosive acid being spat at him and ripped apart with the insane bite force of the insects assaulting him.

- The only one who managed to get passed them was Cujo. The pup's obsession wasn't destructive in nature and took a liking to Phantom and his hundreds of friends, even going as far as to acknowledge Phantom and even listen to him, making him get a pass while the others were stuck in the Zone, totally not jealous.

• The ghost pup was able to be stopped by Danny and the Swarm before he could destroy Axion Labs, making Val see the infamous "Spectral Skitter" in a more positive light.

She was a little mad, but seeing Phantom laughing as he gave the ghost puppy his favorite toy gave her a somber reminder that they both, the puppy and the ghost boy, had died way too soon. Val would still become Red Huntress, but less out of revenge, but to find out more about Phantom, becoming the 4th person to know Danny's secret.

• Vlad is rather good in this au! The sting of Jack and Maddie's abandonment made him a recluse and he refused to try and find happiness out of fear of being abandoned again. Causing his once green ectoplasm to become a shade of violet, as it was his pent up love made manifest.

- But Vlad wouldn't let that stop him, nor would it hold him back in life! He came into his own in Wisconsin after starting a successful chain of brands revolving around dairy goods, using a small portion of the earned funding to research ghosts in his free time using actual methods of study and not the havoc he's heard regarding a certain set of ectobiologists. He honestly can't help but be worried about young Daniel and Jasmine. He can only imagine that whirlwind of a life the children must have, having his former friends as parents.

- After making enough progress, his therapist suggests Vlad getting back out there and try giving the socializing scene another shot, as the Halfa himself mentioned that he missed companionship during their last meeting. Being socially inept, he decides to transform and look around for potential associates while invisible. So lost in thought that he ended up in Illinois on accident when his ghost sense went off like a bomb.

- He jaw fell open when he couldn't believe what he was seeing. He saw giant ghost insectoids that were taking down several Ecto beasts being led by Skulker, who seemed to have tamed (intimidated) them to his side. Another group was taking the people far away from the fighting and standing guard over them. Despite his curiosity being peaked, Vlad couldn't help but groan loudly and facepalm. The tin can tried skinning the older halfa in the past, only for it to end with the said Halfa threatening to destroy the little nuisance's core if he kept it up. He hadn't had a problem since, but seeing the "Greatest Hunter" again made his eye twitch something fierce.

"When I get that welp's pelt I'll–"

"Prove to everyone that you're the greatest hunter ever and yada yada yada...Soup Time!"

Along with his defeated beasts, Skulker is absorbed into the Fenton Thermos and Phantom powers down back into his human form after hiding in a nearby alley...not even realizing that Vlad just saw him do that.

• Vlad immediately knows that this is Daniel Fenton, due to looking up the Fentonworks Website in the 'About Us' page and seeing the major similarities between the "two" boys". He also knows that Phantom is labeled as the "Ghost Menace"...who was constantly being hunted by Jack and Madeline, getting shot at like it's open season, causing needless destruction in their wake...like how they tried to hunt him a few years prior...

- Knowing Jack and Madeline, This makes poor Vlad's mood go from bad to infinitely worse because that meant that they had no idea that they've killed their own child (like him, oof) and have been hunting him since his first appearance in Amity. He immediately retreats back to his castle and has a severe panic attack.

• After calming down, Vlad will probably try to murder his old friends like in canon by inviting the family to his place, but it comes from a messed up sense of needing to protect Danny from his disastrous parents, seeing the younger as a victim of his parents recklessness. It takes a lot of convincing, but Danny is able to get him to stand down and explain that his parents aren't as dangerous as he says they are. Except Vlad had made very good counterarguments that made the younger Halfa question the doubts he had about his parents.

- It doesn't help that the original members of his swarm don't answer when he asks for a biased opinion in his favor. Surely his folks would still love him once he tells them what happened down in the lab...right? Danny makes the protocol "Friend or Foe" with Sam and Tucker and creates a guideline depending on which way the wind blows that fated day.

- Vlad gave him his number, a key, and a room for him to stay at the castle should he be inclined to take the offer should the worse come to pass. Telling the young badger that he had a place to retreat to in case things goes sideways and someone willing to train him as well.

• Jack and Maddie are up to their usual activities, but they meet more resistance by both the ghosts and people of Amity Park.

- The blob ghosts they usually catch to turn their ectoplasm to power their weapons or experiment on have made an alliance with Ghost Boy, Phantom, who made them far more powerful and elusive than they previously were. It doesn't help that their failed attempts to grab one usually end up with some form of property/vehicle damage while Phantom and his monsters scatter and vanish as soon as they arrive.

- People are genuinely looking to the literal ghost child (Phantom) for protection and has been keeping the streets of Amity Park safe from ghosts more than the proclaimed "Ghost Experts". He even began rehabilitating most of his old enemies at this point and helped them find non harmful methods for them to fulfill their obsessions at this point of the timeline. They couldn't defeat him or his army, so they yielded and gave his methods a chance with good degrees of success.

When a curious person (Jazz, the daughter of the town ghost experts) "asked" about a ghost's obsessions and why they fight, Danny goes into extreme detail (thank you, Clockwork and Pandora!) about why it is a ghost would do the things they do, debunking many ectobiologists theories and scientific discoveries made by the field of study.

• It felt like a slap in face and all their hard work was being undermined.

- This causes a screaming match between Maddie and Phantom. Both who are refusing to back down and causing a crowd to form.

"You're kind are danger to humans!"

"Have you seen how you nutjobs drive!? There's a reason nobody parks their cars on your street! You're a living road hazard!"

"You ghosts have been terrorizing the town!"

"Excuse me!? We've been PROTECTING it from your mistakes! Maybe if you actually studied ghosts instead of labeling us non sentient and cutting us up and making them live ammunition, you'd get better results!"

• It just keeps going until something in Danny starts snapping. He's already past sobbing and red in the face with panic and anger, the swarm is practically going feral as they sense the distress rolling off of him in waves, waiting for these humans to dare to make a move. Snarling, hissing and growling could be heard from hundreds of creatures slowly manifesting in the sky, floating with eyes glowing blood red.

People begin to start to worry out as they never seen Phantom's pets like this before...but then again...holding guns up to a kid who died recently and protects them from both the ghosts and the Fenton's daily madness isn't exactly a good image.

"You may have fooled everyone else, but you haven't fooled us, Phantom Menace! If we let our guard down, your kind will exploit us and we'll all be paying for it!"

And just like that...the final thread self control snaps and Phantom explodes. His scream of anger is amplified by his swarm and takes out most of the devices powered by ectoplasm.

Pay for it...PAY FOR IT!? WHAT DO YOU NOW ABOUT "PAYING FOR IT" WHEN ALL THIS WAS ALL YOUR FAULT!? ALL BECAUSE YOU MADE A LITERAL PORTAL TO HELL! YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH GHOSTS YOU HAVEN'T EVEN NOTICED WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME..."

The silence that came after was deafening and as the "good doctors" try to object, they themselves are stunned into silence as well when a ring forms around Phantom's waist and reveals who he actually is. Gasps and shouts of surprise are heard as a teary eyed boy stares down at his parents from a roof, glaring icy daggers with tired eyes.

"You were always in the lab, for days on end, as Jazz and I grew up. She put up with it and accepted the fact that work took priority, but I didn't! I hated that stupid portal and I went into the damn thing trying to make it work so you could pay attention to us again...but it turned on with me inside because a "genius" put the power button inside...which I hit on accident...making me die alone!

My grades dropped off a cliff because I had to step up and take responsibility for YOUR obsession with ghosts! I lost so much sleep because there were threats almost every other day trying to cause problems for Amity Park! Jazz was almost murdered and I almost had to kill the ghost to stop her from harming my sister! I had to literally beat my rogue's gallery into submission so they could behave and to protect them from ghost hunters so I could get to live a semi-normal life again! My so-called evil "parasites" have been helping me out keeping everyone who saw me as some weird freak safe since we teamed up and I won't let you slander them or myself anymore!"

It made the people of Amity feel sick to know the truth. The small kid who likes bugs who was supposed to barely start high school was the same friendly ghost who constantly charged into battle to keep everyone safe. His friends and enemies alike were under his protection out of the kindness of his heart when he could've easily used his powers for mischief, or worse, evil. As the realization began to sink in, people began to whisper and mutter to each other.

"An actual kid was defending us the whole time!?"

"Bug-a-Boo was really just a kid..."

"Danny Fenton is the Spectral Skitter!?"

"THEY KILLED THERE OWN KID!?"

That's what made people turn on the Fentons with the looks of disdain and anger. People were forming a protective ring around Danny as they continued to bombard his family with accusations and throwing insults. "Hey, Jazz is innocent in all of this, so leave her out of the hate mob! My sister barely found out and has been taking care of me better than our own parents well before I died...was there for me when things were at their worst fighting back the ghost..."

As the two Fenton siblings looked at each with soft, reassuring smiles, the tender moment was ruined when a blast went off, screams were heard and Danny stumbled back in shock at the sudden pain and blood blooming in his chest. It didn't punch through him fully, but cracked his ribs and now he was on the ground in pain. The shooters fate was sealed when a soldier's stinger punched through the attacker's leg with an ecto blast before the swarm and began fighting men in white suits, the attackers being overrun quickly and being mangled savagely before stopping at Danny's order before fainting.

In their desperate attempt to get Danny to safety, the swarm grabbed his unconscious body and hurriedly went through the Ghost Portal before blowing it up, preventing the Guys in White from doing more damage. There, they were greeted by Danny's greatest ally, Clockwork, and Yeti named Frostbite who wished to help their Boss. With reluctance and cries of sadness, they gave him to the beastman and hoped for the best.

[lineycantdance]

Jang Man Wol and Go Chung Myung as Eros and Psyche

In this meta, I will be illustrating how the storyline in the 2019 tvN K-drama Hotel Del Luna between its protagonist Jang Man Wol and second male lead Go Chung Myung follows the Aarne-Thompson-Uther folktale type 425: Search for the Lost Husband, while also containing elements of ATU-400: The Quest for the Lost Bride. In particular, I will be pointing out parallels to famous versions of these tales from Greek mythology: ATU-425: Eros and Psyche, and ATU-400: Orpheus and Eurydice. I am by no means an expert on this topic, so feel free to share where you disagree with me and point out any mistakes.

Before I go on, be advised: the following post will include mentions of violence, capital punishment, suicide, and all of the darker elements that were present in the historical subplot of Hotel Del Luna.

Part 1: Jang Man Wol and Go Chung Myung as Eros and Psyche

The myth of Eros and Psyche is said to be the prototypical version of the Beauty and the Beast story. Other tales classified under ATU-425 feature an Animal Bridegroom. After a taboo is broken, the animal husband flees from the bride, and she must complete a series of tasks or embark on a long journey to reunite with her lost husband.

A Mission Gone Awry:

The original version of Eros and Psyche comes from Apuleius’ Metamorphoses as a story within a story. The tale begins with the youngest and most beautiful daughter of a king and queen, Psyche, attracting so many admirers that people have started worshipping her instead of Aphrodite (Venus), the goddess of love. The jealous Aphrodite sends her son Eros (Cupid) to make Psyche fall in love with a hideous and wretched creature. However, rather than carrying out his mother’s bidding, Eros mistakenly pricks himself with his own arrow and consequently falls deeply in love with Psyche upon the sight of her sleeping form. In other words, the script gets flipped on Eros who is wounded by his own weapon.

[Cupid Finding Psyche by Edward Burne-Jones]

Man Wol and Chung Myung’s first meeting bears a few similarities. After Jang Man Wol’s gang of bandits attacks Princess Song Hwa’s caravan, royal guard captain Go Chung Myung chases her down, intent on capturing the gang leader. However, instead of successfully carrying out this mission, Chung Myung becomes mesmerized by Man Wol’s beauty. Man Wol knocks him unconscious while he is distracted and takes him hostage. He is both held captive and captivated by her. Princess Song Hwa, the one who sent Chung Myung, will be playing the part of the jealous Aphrodite in this story.

In both stories, our heroine poses a threat to a royal/divine mother figure who takes this as a personal affront. A young man under her authority is sent to condemn the heroine to a dark fate. The hero fails to carry out this mission and ends up falling in love with the heroine instead.

Man Wol appears as if asleep à la Sleeping Beauty.

She flips the script on this lovestruck fool.

 The Mythical Snake-Husband:

Eros, the god of desire, is feared even by Zeus, for a shot from his arrow fills his victims with uncontrollable infatuation often resulting in infidelity and adultery. He is sometimes described as a serpent who flies on black wings. It is meant to be understood that, in a way, Eros is exactly the kind of monster that Aphrodite wished Psyche to wed.

In other fairy tales classified under ATU-425, the bridegroom is a young man, often a prince, who has been transformed into a monster, animal, beast, etc. He may take the appearance of a bull, pig, bear, snail, etc., but most often he appears as a snake or a bird such as in the Mexican fairy tale El Pájaro Verde, or the Italian fairy tale The Enchanted Snake.

Most obviously, Chung Myung takes the form of an animal when his soul is eventually transformed into a firefly. But, unlike the heroes in Animal Bridegroom stories, Chung Myung begins his story as just a regular man, not a beast or monster. That being said, when his character is first introduced in the show (and to Man Wol), we see him as a fearsome warrior and formidable swordsman. As Man Wol’s captive, he flirts with her in an attempt to convince her to let him go. At first, it is unclear whether he is simply trying to pull a fast one on her, and for a moment it seems like he is going to leave her for dead when she gets caught in quicksand. His initial shiftiness as well as his lethal capabilities make him, metaphorically-speaking, akin to a snake.

The Beautiful Lonely Heroine:

Psyche, the youngest and most beautiful of three princesses, is plagued by solitude. She despises her own beauty for making her singularly lonely. Even though she is widely adored, no one wants to approach her. She resents her virginity as it represents her loneliness and longing for romantic companionship.

It’s worth mentioning that in other Lost Husband stories, the heroine is often depicted as a paragon of idealized femininity: young, beautiful, unquestioningly obedient to her father, kind, gentle, self-sacrificial beyond reason. Compare that to her older sisters who are portrayed as vapid, jealous, and vain, the latter primarily for “turning up their noses” and refusing to marry an animal bridegroom unlike their younger sister who is inexplicably totally cool with it. These polarized depictions of femininity, while regressive and devoid of nuance, are commonplace in fairy tales, and the lack of depth could even be considered a defining genre convention (see Max Lüthi's criteria for märchen in The European Folktale: Form and Nature, particularly "depthlessness").

Although the fierce thief Man Wol doesn’t fit this model of idealized feminine heroine, she does have some things in common with her fair-maiden counterparts. She, too, suffers from loneliness, and, as a transient bandit, she is emotionally isolated. Apart from her foster brother Yeon Woo, she doesn’t allow others to get close to her.

In the first flashback shown of her past, she says that she envies trees because they don’t have to wander around. She laments that “it must be nice to just put down roots and settle down.” 

Man Wol’s conversation with Yeon Woo in front of the great oak tree reveals that she longs for stability and a way to live past her youth, neither of which her nomadic life as a bandit can provide her. When Yeon Woo offers to build Man Wol a house out of the wood from the giant tree, she teasingly turns him down. Considering the great oak tree symbolizes Man Wol’s desire for longevity, that Yeon Woo specifically promises to cut it down demonstrates the impossibility of their situation. His words to Man Wol in this scene about transferring his extra years to her are poignantly prophetic:

Yeon Woo: We all grow old. You should think about putting down roots. I can’t let you live under a tarp when you’ve become an old lady.

Man Wol: I could be captured and killed at any moment. That’s my life. I don’t even expect to live until I’m old.

Yeon Woo: But you can. The fortune teller said that I’ll live a long life, just like this tree. I’m expected to live 100 years, so I’ll give you my extra years.

Man Wol: If you do that, you’ll die.

Yeon Woo: You’re right. It’s okay, though. I don’t mind dying for you, so you can have it all.

Not only does this scene foreshadow Yeon Woo’s heart-wrenching sacrifice on Man Wol’s behalf, but it also indicates that, under Man Wol’s current circumstances, a life must be “cut short,” be it the tree’s or Yeon Woo’s, in order to secure the longevity and stability she desires. 

Whereas Psyche expressly wishes to find love, especially after her two older sisters are both married and she cannot find a husband, Man Wol's desires do not necessarily require love to achieve. However, “settling down” and “putting down roots” are conventionally achieved via marriage.

Merging of the Wedding and Funeral Rites, A Leap of Faith:

After consulting the Oracle of Apollo who tells them their daughter is to marry a hideous monster, Psyche’s parents assume this is a sure death sentence. In funeral attire, Psyche is taken to the edge of a cliff to be carried by the west wind Zephyr to Eros’s palace. She bravely accepts her fated marriage, takes the plunge, and encounters her mythical bridegroom in an enchanted palace in the forest. In blurring the lines between the wedding and funeral rites, death and love are depicted as intertwined.

[Psyche’s Wedding by Edward Burne-Jones]

The most prominent moment when a wedding and funeral are merged in Man Wol’s backstory is during her deadly confrontation with Chung Myung in the royal bridal chamber. But more on that later. Sticking to this pair’s first meeting, a moment occurs that could be interpreted as her taking a leap of faith. Man Wol chooses to release her captive Chung Myung in hopes that he will save her from being swallowed by quicksand. In tossing him her sword so that he can cut himself free, she places her life in his hands. Chung Myung in turn, rather than escaping when he has the chance, saves his captor from the brink of death.

The Heroine Grows Affectionate toward her Nighttime Visitor:

Psyche is well provided for in Eros’s enchanted palace, but he only comes to visit her at night when it is dark and she can’t see him. Initially, Psyche is hesitant about the intimacy they share at night, but eventually she grows to enjoy those moments.

In other Animal Bridegroom stories, the groom takes off his animal skin/feathers in the heroine’s bedroom and reveals himself to be a handsome youth by night. The heroine grows fond of him and the private conversations they share together, but he must disappear with the rising sun.

Chung Myung meets Man Wol at the moonlit lake to share wine. At first, she is annoyed that he has disrupted her solitude, but he tells her that the view of the lake has gotten better since he arrived because she is no longer alone. Then, he says that in the future whenever she drinks there by herself, she will be waiting for him to show up like he did that night. These words prove true, as Man Wol evidently grows to crave Chung Myung’s company so much that she is willing to sneak into the Princess’s castle at the risk of her own life just to see him.

Due to the forbidden nature of their relationship, Man Wol and Chung Myung’s trysts must occur under the cover of darkness.

The Bride and Groom are Married in a Symbolic Union:

With their marriage consummated and a bond forming between them, Eros and Psyche are no longer married only in name. At this point, they are referred to as husband and wife, not just the bride and groom of a sham marriage.

While marital and botched proposal imagery are evoked at several points throughout Man Wol and Chung Myung’s love story (which I will discuss further down below), I would pinpoint the moment they become symbolically married as when they are seated together in front of the fire, and he signs her name with her finger on the surface of a rock. This is the scene in which their bond is cemented, quite literally, in stone, and their feelings for each other are made clear.

A Voice of Doubt Leads the Wife to Act Against Her Husband’s Wishes:

When Psyche’s sisters visit her in her luxurious palace, they sow doubt in her about the true form of her husband. They make her believe that her husband is truly dangerous and convince her to look upon Eros’s true form and kill him if he really is a monster.

In many Animal Bridegroom stories, the jealous sisters or an overprotective father may directly harm the husband, believing him to be devouring the bride at night. In other variants, the heroine asks about her husband’s origin, shares his secret identity with others, or looks upon his true form when he specifically forbade it. This constitutes breaking a taboo and/or a betrayal of the husband’s trust.

For Man Wol, the voice of doubt about her relationship with Chung Myung comes from inside herself rather than from an outside source. After Man Wol tells Chung Myung that she and her clan of bandits are leaving to join the rebellion, he offers to risk his life and run away with her. But she declines and breaks things off with him.

In this impersonal statement of rejection, Man Wol alludes to the external obstacles that stand in between this couple’s happiness: her clan joining the rebellion against the kingdom that Chung Myung serves, their difference in class and standing in the law, the imminent war that stands between their peoples, etc. Although these obstacles are great, they seem to be just excuses for what is really holding Man Wol back—the internal obstacles within herself.

Needing to have relied on herself alone for so many years, Man Wol is fiercely independent and unaccustomed to letting others in. Her doubts, perhaps self-doubts, and hesitancy in commitment are the real reasons for this “break-up,” not the meddling of pesky relatives as in other Animal Bridegroom tales. In fact, the character you would expect to play the role of an overprotective or jealous family member, Yeon Woo, is quite supportive of Man Wol’s relationship with Chung Myung, and even encourages her to follow her heart when he senses she might not come back from bidding Chung Myung a final farewell.

Yeon Woo (joining Man Wol at the foot of the giant tree): Everyone’s ready. When should we leave?

Man Wol (gazing at the jug with her symbol tied to the tree): He was here. He’s probably there now. Let me go see him one last time.

Yeon Woo (catching Man Wol’s wrists to hold her back): Man Wol-ah. Will you come back?

Man Wol: Yes. Of course, I’ll be back.

Yeon Woo (dropping Man Wol’s wrists, he gives a sheepish smile): You don’t need to come back. I’ll be fine either way, so do as you wish.

Breaking the Taboo, a Betrayal of Trust:

Psyche listens to her sisters who tell her to approach her husband with a lamp to see his true identity and a dagger to kill him if he truly is a monster. When Psyche follows through with this plan and sees Eros’s true form exposed, this constitutes a betrayal of his trust. In other Animal Bridegroom stories, the wife does the one thing her husband specifically forbids her from doing which is often sharing his secret with a nosy family member. At this point, he assumes his animal/beast form and flees his bride.

[From Favorite Greek Myths illustrated by Troy Howell]

This may seem counterintuitive, as Chung Myung is the one who ends up outright betraying Man Wol, but when Man Wol allows her fears and doubts to take hold of her and forsakes her love, this can be considered “breaking the taboo.” Her rejection of Chung Myung and of her true feelings leads to a series of events that results in Chung Myung’s “beastly” form being revealed—that is, his capacity for betrayal, deception, and acting in his own self-interest at the expense of those around him—i.e. the metaphorical qualities of a snake. This might sound like a circular line of thinking (it is), but I am framing this sequence of events in this way for the purpose of reading the story as a Search for the Lost Husband tale rather than a Quest of the Lost Bride tale in which the roles are reversed. On that note…

Part 2: Search for the Lost Husband or Quest for the Lost Bride?

(a.k.a. an aside in which I ramble on)

In a Search for the Lost Husband story, a betrayal such as Chung Myung’s on the part of the mythical husband would constitute a role reversal, and thus would be incredibly rare. However, a husband’s betrayal is commonplace in Quest for the Lost Bride stories. So, you might be asking yourself, other than switching the gender roles, how are ATU-425: Search for the Lost Husband and ATU-400: Quest for the Lost Bride stories different? Well, the biggest difference is in the story’s conclusion. A Search for the Lost Husband story usually has a happy ending with the couple reuniting, while the husband’s Quest for his mythical wife is usually unsuccessful. There are a few reasons for this, which I will get into later, but for now, all you need to know is that, in general, a betrayal by the mythical husband usually results in tragedy whereas a betrayal by the mythical wife usually ends with her successfully recovering her lost husband.

Because the love story between Man Wol and Chung Myung is ill-fated, in my interpretation, it follows the tragic Quest for the Lost Bride route. It includes hallmarks of tragedy such as a permanent separation of the mythical couple (as seen by Man Wol turning her back on Chung Myung on the bridge to the afterlife) and the husband wallowing away in grief and despair for the remainder of his days (as seen by Chung Myung remaining as a firefly for 1300 years only to cross the bridge by himself). However, as I hope to demonstrate in this meta, Man Wol and Chung Myung’s story also contains enough elements distinct to Search for the Lost Husband stories that, in my opinion, it could have gone either way, either ending with permanent tragedy for the pair, or happily with a love that transcended death. The show-writers were probably well aware of this, as the show itself seems to toy with the idea of Koo Chan Sung, the first male lead, being the reincarnation of Go Chung Myung, but eventually this is revealed to be a misdirection.

In addition to containing many unmistakable elements of ATU-425, Man Wol and Chung Myung’s story already sees many elements reversed anyway. It is Chung Myung, the hero, who is associated with royalty/nobility, not the maiden Man Wol. She is the one who is an outlaw and is shown to be quite ruthless, fierce, and scary, like the villainous Eros.

A critical aspect of the Eros and Psyche myth is that both Eros and Psyche must undergo joint journeys toward individuation. As a result, their journeys can naturally be thought of as parallel if not interchangeable. In this way, having Man Wol and Chung Myung move back and forth between the positions of Eros and Psyche, or “lost spouse” and “searching spouse,” does not actually contradict the story structure of the Eros and Psyche myth. Furthermore, often a husband’s failed quest for his lost bride serves as a prelude to a switch to the feminine perspective in which the wife’s search for her lost husband is successful.

We know that for as long as Chung Myung had remained with Man Wol as a firefly, she, too, had spent all those years waiting for him to arrive at her hotel. Given that the pair was mutually waiting for the other for over 1300 years and with a curse of her own for Man Wol to overcome, when Man Wol finally says Chung Myung’s name and he reappears before her, it seemed like all the ingredients were there for a successful recovery of the lost animal husband and the mythical couple reuniting in love and joy. This is also the moment when the flower petals of the Moon Tree finally fall, indicating that Man Wol’s punishment has come to an end. Despite this, the show still sticks to the unhappy Quest for the Lost Bride trajectory for this pair.

Typically in a Quest for the Lost Bride tale, the husband's betrayal is due to his fear, arrogance, or lack of faith in/faithfulness to his wife. These attributes are then harshly punished by the story’s tragic end for him. Although perhaps fear factored into Chung Myung’s decision to betray Man Wol, and arguably heedlessness into him getting caught in the first place, his reasoning for the betrayal, rather than highlighting a fatal flaw in his character, paints him as a victim of circumstance more than anything else. He was backed into a corner by the princess and coerced into betraying Man Wol against his own wishes while making a bargain for her life to be spared. It would seem that this betrayal was not about saving his own neck (he told Yeon Woo he was planning on paying for his sins with his life afterward), but rather saving as many innocents as possible (his relatives in the castle and the Gaori villagers).

As punishment for his misdeeds, Chung Myung dies by Man Wol’s sword and remains as a firefly, unseen to her for 1300 years, both of which were fates he elected for himself. Yet, after he finally has the chance to explain his side of the story to Man Wol, and she is able to make peace with what happened and let go of her grudges, for some reason the narrative isn’t through punishing him. Man Wol abandons him on the bridge to the afterlife, and the pair is separated forever after. The remorseful Chung Myung’s ultimate fate is characterized by eternal punishment and heartache for offenses that were deliberately portrayed by the narrative in a sympathetic light. This eternal punishment, in my opinion, comes off as exceedingly harsh, especially in contrast to other characters like Man Wol and Princess Song Hwa who had the blood of many on their hands, yet were both given happy endings in which they were able to find love again.

Part 3: Chung Myung and Man Wol as Eros and Psyche (cont.)

As much as a part of me relishes in the tragedy and melodrama of the storyline the show gave us with Man Wol and Chung Myung, my biggest qualm about its ending is that it retroactively suggests that Man Wol’s decision to forsake her love with Chung Myung was the right one? She alluded to the worldly barriers that stood between them when she told Chung Myung they could never be together. She spoke those words out of cynicism and guardedness, and she was at her least authentic to herself and her true desires when she said them. And yet, the narrative ultimately proves them correct? After a millennium had swept away the conditions that had made their love precarious and impossible in the first place, Man Wol still ended up being right: their love was not meant to be; it was never meant to be. (╥_╥)

The Husband’s True Form is Revealed, the Wife’s Love for him Deepens:

Psyche approaches her sleeping husband armed with flame and steel, prepared to kill him. When she discovers that he is the beautiful god Eros, she accidentally pricks herself with one of his arrows and falls even more in love with him. In other Animal Bridegroom stories, the wounded husband flees, and the distraught wife loves him so much that she is willing to walk to the ends of the earth, often until holes have been worn into the soles of iron shoes, to find him.

For Man Wol, there are two scenes in which she approaches Chung Myung equipped to kill him. The first plays the wife’s-love-deepening trope straight whereas the second directly subverts it.

In the first, Man Wol is hiding in a shed as a runaway slave. When someone enters the shed, she jumps out from her hiding place and blindly attacks the intruder with her dagger, unaware that it is Chung Myung. It is only when he catches her wrist mid-swing that she stops and sees his true identity. Her eyes quiver in recognition. The framing of this sequence—the use of slow motion, the soft music, the pair’s heavy breathing and parted lips, the symmetry of their silhouettes—indicate that this moment is especially significant; we are watching the moment when they fall for each other.

Afterward, Chung Myung protects Man Wol by telling the soldiers who are looking for her to search elsewhere. This is followed up by a scene of Chung Myung bandaging Man Wol’s wound, clear visual language for the care and tenderness between them.

The second time Man Wol is prepared to kill Chung Myung is, of course, in the royal bridal chamber. There, she intends to destroy him, particularly the “monstrous” part of him that is loyal and wedded to the princess. She wields her sword (steel), then burns the palace to the ground (with flame).

At this point in the story, Chung Myung’s loyalties had already been put to the test after he found himself at a crossroads when confronted by Princess Song Hwa. Seeing Chung Myung’s “true colors” revealed, Man Wol, rather than growing in love, grows in deep hatred of him.

A Harsh Light Exposes What Lies in the Darkness, The Snake Recoils:

The light from Psyche’s lamp reveals her husband’s true form. She becomes so startled that, in addition to pricking herself with one of Eros’s arrows, she spills hot oil from her lamp onto him. The wounded Eros recoils and retreats to the protection of his mother, Aphrodite.

Psyche had, quite literally, been kept in the dark about the identity of her invisible husband. When she casts his true form into the light, this can be read allegorically as her leaving a childlike state of ignorance behind and gaining a sense of consciousness. This new knowledge and awareness, although initially leading to pain and heartache, is ultimately necessary for Psyche—who represents the human soul—to individuate and enter true adulthood. Eros represents Psyche’s Shadow, her repressed desires that she fears to claim. When Psyche wields the knife and lamp, she strips back her own illusions and refuses to continue living in the dark. Psyche’s pursuit of Eros—the Soul’s pursuit of Desire—elevates her from her mortal status. The product of this union is a daughter named “Joy.”

One notable parallel to Man Wol and Chung Myung’s story is that Chung Myung, under the threat of never seeing Man Wol again, leaves the signal to meet at the lake where he awaits her with what appears to be a token of betrothal.

He is exposed in the sense that he sets up this meeting in broad daylight for a change, as well as in that Princess Song Hwa arrives first to expose him as a colluder with the rebellion and a traitor to his country. Under duress, he retreats to the side of Princess Song Hwa who corresponds to Aphrodite.

However, I think the comparison becomes much more interesting if we think of Man Wol as the snake-like Eros and Chung Myung as the light-bearing Psyche. Chung Myung—the man who was transformed into a firefly and whose name (hanja: 清明; pinyin: qīngmíng) translates to “Pure and Bright”—is the light that reveals Man Wol’s true self. He draws out her capacity to be warm-hearted despite her cynicism. Man Wol (hanja: 满月) is the “Full Moon” whose glow is only a reflection of the light cast upon it (from the Sun. Yes, I’m invoking Yin and Yang here). Man Wol cannot hide her true self from Chung Myung because he sees through the front she puts up and the walls she has built around her. She shows discomfort with this vulnerability such as after Chung Myung surmises that she came to see him in the castle because she had missed him while drinking alone.

When Chung Myung offers to run away with Man Wol, his light shines too brightly, and she recoils from him. But we know she is acting against her true desires as seen by her tearful look as she watches him leave and by her impetuousness to see him one more time. The break-up scene between Man Wol and Chung Myung presents a moment in which Man Wol must confront the desires that she has been desperately trying to conceal from herself but outwardly manifest in the form of Chung Myung.

In forsaking her love, Man Wol acts in fear of her desires. On the other hand, this break-up can simultaneously be viewed as an act of Man Wol’s agency to make decisions about her own life. She is well within her rights to end this relationship as it had always been incredibly risky, even scandalous, for both involved. Chung Myung had been looking the other way and, at times, actively helping out a gang of criminals. Man Wol had been placing her trust in someone whose job it was to arrest and capture people like her. Her reasons for joining the rebellion—it’s better than living as a thief, getting caught, and dying young—see her taking steps toward achieving the stability and longevity that she wished for. It’s just that she couldn’t conceive of a way to achieve these things while keeping Chung Myung at her side (when arguably this may have been possible). I also think that Man Wol truly thought that putting her feelings aside and breaking things off between her and Chung Myung was the safest decision for the two of them. In a cruel twist of irony, however, this indirectly leads to the catastrophic series of events that occurred in the fallout of their relationship that the break-up was intended to prevent.

In my opinion, Man Wol’s character arc on the show, in addition to resolving her deep grudges and healing from her past, should have involved her learning not to run away from her desires and integrating her Shadow/animus.

The Wounded Husband Flees and is Confined, the Heroine is Tormented:

The injured Eros is looked after by his mother Aphrodite who confines him in her house for far longer than he wishes or is necessary for him to recover. As Psyche continues to seek her lost husband, the furious Aphrodite drags her by the hair and has her whipped and tortured by her lackeys Sadness and Sorrow.

In other versions of ATU-425, the fleeing husband becomes fatally ill or is about to be married off to another bride, often a monster or ogress who, like Aphrodite, holds him against his will. Symbolically, these two fates are the same as the prince’s illness is akin to being wedded to Death. Typically at this point, the heroine arrives just in time to cure her lost husband or rescue him from a loveless marriage.

After Man Wol’s rejection, Chung Myung returns, against his wishes, to the side of Princess Song Hwa. When Man Wol rides to the lake seeking him, she encounters Song Hwa instead who gleefully has her arrested while mocking her as the cause of her people’s demise. 

As a quick aside, Princess Song Hwa is wearing a completely different robe when she confronts Man Wol from the one she wore when confronting Chung Myung at the lake which could indicate that a significant amount of time passed between these two occurrences. They may have even taken place on different days, meaning Man Wol arrived much too late.

Chung Myung is forced to marry Song Hwa even though his heart still belongs to Man Wol. Our heroine Man Wol arrives on the night of the wedding to kill him rather than to rescue her mythical husband from his marriage to the Death-bride.

The Heroine Undergoes an Arduous Journey to Reunite with her Lost Husband:

In order to see Eros again, Psyche must complete four seemingly impossible tasks given to her by the angry Aphrodite (in other tales it’s usually three impossible tasks, but Aphrodite is extra mean and gives Psyche a fourth). Eros’s hand is present in the assistance she receives for each task—in the ants, river spirits, eagle, and tower that come to her aid. The completion of these tasks credits Psyche for her bravery and persistence, and therefore she is presented as worthy of her divine husband. The details in other ATU-425 stories vary widely but are largely unimportant. Typically, the heroine will have to travel a great distance, collect magical items, and accept supernatural aid in order to recover her lost husband.

After the deadly night of the royal wedding, both Man Wol and Chung Myung have long journeys ahead of them to atone in some way for the sins they committed in their lives. Man Wol becomes cursed as the owner of the Guest House of the Moon and receives assistance in the form of Koo Chan Sung who himself receives guidance at pivotal moments from Chung Myung’s ghostly insect form. 

This struck me as similar to how Eros is present in the small insects—ants—who help Psyche complete the first task of sorting out the grains. Chung Myung’s unwavering persistence in remaining at Man Wol’s side as a firefly is shown to have impressed Mago and even the Grim Reaper.

A “seemingly impossible” task needs to be accomplished for both Man Wol and Chung Myung’s curses to be lifted: the Moon Tree must bloom and wither flowers—meaning Man Wol’s heart must soften—for time to flow for her once again; for Chung Myung to regain his human form and appear before Man Wol she must utter his name, a feat rendered seemingly impossible due to Man Wol’s deep-seated resentment.

A Trip to a Realm only Accessible to the Dead, Another Way:

When Psyche is successful in completing three impossible tasks, Aphrodite makes one final attempt to get rid of her. Psyche must descend to the Underworld and bring back a piece of Queen Persephone’s beauty in a box to be delivered to Aphrodite. At first, Psyche believes that the only way to reach the Underworld is to die, so she prepares to fling herself from a tower. But Eros speaks to Psyche through the tower, instructing her on another way to enter the Underworld. He gives her highly specific instructions as well as coins for the boat ride across the river Styx. She must not deviate from these instructions lest she remain trapped in the Underworld forever.

Wanting absolution for all the lives she took, Man Wol journeys to the end of the road in search of the mythical Guest House of the Moon where the souls of the dead gather and are consoled. As the afterlife in this story leads to reincarnation and new life, it does not correspond to the Underworld; the Guest House of the Moon is more of an equivalent as it is a mythical, if temporary, abode for the souls of the dead. When Mago tells Man Wol that only the dead can go there, Man Wol draws her sword to her own neck, saying she is willing to take her own life just to get there.

Mago tells Man Wol that it is foolish to think she can compensate for her sins with her life this way. Man Wol becomes tied to the Moon Tree instead, caught between life and death and cursed to serve as the innkeeper of the Guest House.

Just like Man Wol, Chung Myung believes the only way he can pay for the debt of his wrongdoings is with his own life. It is the voice of Yeon Woo that stops Chung Myung from doing this and insists there is another way for him to pay for his sins—he must live on as a traitor to ensure that Man Wol survives.

Traps and Risks in the Underworld:

Several traps lie in Psyche’s way as she journeys to Hades, chiefly if she opens the casket containing Persephone’s beauty out of curiosity she will never return from the Underworld.

The biggest trap set for Man Wol is the possibility of her giving into her anger and resentment, becoming an evil, spiteful ghost and vanishing forever. This would mean she would never leave the Underworld of the Guest House or move onto the afterlife to be reborn.

Chung Myung, who is also stuck in this Underworld as Man Wol’s first guest, also faces a great risk there. Over the 1300 years, his soul has become weary and his light has faded. With little energy left, he may vanish before reaching the bridge to the afterlife.

Facing Temptation, Return from Death’s Clutches:

Psyche carefully follows all of Eros’s instructions and manages to escape the Underworld. Thinking she has succeeded, Psyche wishes to take some of Persephone’s beauty for herself to please her husband. But what’s in the box is the Sleep of Death, and she falls down lifeless. Eros, who has healed and can no longer bear Psyche’s absence, breaks free from his prison and wipes the sleep from her eyes.

[Psyche Opening the Golden Box by John William Waterhouse]

In other versions of ATU-425, the prince is on the brink of death or about to marry another woman when his wife finds and rescues him. To save the lost husband, the heroine must perform a task that only she can do, or use a blood sacrifice to cure his affliction. In this way, she is uniquely able to save him from a literal/spiritual/metaphorical death. 

Chung Myung’s marriage to a false bride is interrupted by Man Wol who infiltrates the castle intending to kill him. In some cases, such as with a snake-husband, a violent means is necessary to break the curse. With a snake, death or burning of the snake’s skin are typically the only ways for the snake-husband to be transformed back into his true self. Since Chung Myung has taken on the metaphorical qualities of a snake, it could be argued that only by dying and the subsequent burning of his body can he regain his humanity. Thus, Man Wol’s decisions to slay Song Hwa, the Death-bride, run Chung Myung through, and burn down the castle, while ruthless, are not, by themselves, mythically inconsistent with the ATU-425 folktale type.

1300 years later, Man Wol knows that her encounter with Chung Myung is inevitable, and she must face her temptation to give into her anger, destroy his soul, and vanish forever. However, after hearing his side of the story and learning of the promise he made to Yeon Woo, Man Wol’s anger dissipates. She is seemingly able to forgive Chung Myung, or at least let go of her resentments toward him.

The one final task that Man Wol is assigned by Mago is one that only she can accomplish: she must see Chung Myung off and accompany him on the bridge to the afterlife, thus saving him from vanishing forever i.e. spiritual death.

Recognition Motif:

After the heroine rescues her lost husband, typically there is a moment when the prince finally recognizes the heroine after their long separation and declares her his one true wife. The lost husband may not recognize the searching wife until she performs the one task that only she can do or until she shows the lost husband a gift she once received from him.

Apotheosis, Sacred Marriage, Happily Ever After:

A moment of recognition on Man Wol’s part occurs when Chung Myung’s ghost, while in possession of Chan Sung’s body, caresses Man Wol in a hauntingly familiar way. Later, she realizes that the firefly is Chung Myung who has been with her all along. She says his name, and he appears before her. A moment of recognition on the part of would-be prince Chung Myung happened much earlier in the bridal chamber when he said he wished to welcome Man Wol as a beautiful bride (his true bride).

Eros and Psyche have a proper wedding that is blessed and attended by all the deities. She eats ambrosia which makes her immortal so that the pair can be united for eternity as equals. Psyche, now a deity in her own right, gives birth to a daughter named Hedone or “Joy.”

Man Wol and Chung Myung walk down the bridge to the afterlife together, but stop midway. There, on the edge of eternity, Chung Myung offers Man Wol his hand in symbolic union one last time. He pleads with his eyes for her to join him and move on together, but she turns her back on him, departing from the mythic structure and leaving him to cross into oblivion by his lonesome. This is how their story ends.

Part 4: More Parallels and Discussion

The Husband is Rebuked by the Cruel One who Sent Him:

When Aphrodite learns that Eros fell in love with her enemy Psyche rather than dooming her to fall in love with a loathsome monster, she rebukes him as a failure. Aphrodite sees Psyche as a direct threat and is fearful of being usurped by her.

When Song Hwa finds out that Chung Myung has fallen in love with an enemy and has been in league with Man Wol’s gang of bandits instead of quashing them, she chastises him as a traitor to his country, then blackmails him into doing her bidding and rounding up the thieves. Song Hwa and her father view Man Wol and her thieves as an existential threat to their kingdom. Like Aphrodite, Song Hwa is afraid that she will be usurped by Man Wol in two ways: first, she is afraid of a resurgent Goguryeo overthrowing her kingdom; second, she views Man Wol as a romantic rival for Chung Myung’s affections.

The Beauty Repeatedly Rejects the Beast’s Marriage Proposals:

As there is strong overlap between Beauty and the Beast type stories and Animal Bridegroom stories, ATU-425 stories can be read in those terms. Just as how Eros was the one who was pricked by his own arrow at the sight of Psyche, the Beast is the one who falls in love with the Beauty first, whereas the Beauty only starts to fall in love with him as she sees past his veneer and looks into the man who is inside. The couple’s momentary bliss, however, cannot last, as the Beast is not ready to let go of his brutish exterior. When he clings to his literal or metaphorical beast-form, the Beauty must reject him. (Think Jane fleeing Rochester after his bigamy is discovered in Jane Eyre.) It is only after he makes some kind of self-sacrifice on her behalf, often involving a literal/metaphorical death and rebirth, that the Beauty finally professes her love to him. Often this declaration of love is all it takes to heal him from the brink of death.

Man Wol rejects Chung Myung’s “marriage proposals” on three separate occasions. First is when he offers to run away with her when she is about to leave to join the rebellion.

This botched proposal is prolonged; Man Wol initially rejects Chung Myung, but when he leaves the signal to meet at the lake, two details imply that, had she arrived on time, Man Wol may have changed her mind: 1) As mentioned previously, Yeon Woo seems to doubt that Man Wol will return from bidding Chung Myung a final adieu, and 2) while wallowing in self-loathing and speaking to a past version of herself, modern-day Man Wol says that she would have been happy to have received the metal brooch Chung Myung intended as a gift for her. Regardless of whether Man Wol would have changed her mind or not, Chung Myung’s attempts to risk his life and elope with Man Wol fail, and we see how things go horribly awry when the princess arrives at the lake to confront Chung Myung before Man Wol can reach him.

Man Wol rejects an overt insinuation of a marriage rite during her confrontation with Chung Myung in the chamber where the royal marriage was supposed to be consummated. He invokes the image of them as the true bridal couple by referring to Man Wol as “a beautiful bride” whom he missed and wished to caress. She is not receptive to this and reasserts her blade against his neck.

The last time Man Wol rejects Chung Myung’s hand in a metaphorical marriage is on the bridge to the afterlife.

The first of these botched proposals happens due to Man Wol’s hesitancy, fears, and doubts, as well as Song Hwa’s interference.

The second rejection in the bridal chamber is the most mythically consistent because Chung Myung is already wedded to a death threefold—1) Song Hwa as the Death-bride, 2) the imminent physical death promised to him by Man Wol, and 3) the spiritual death of living as a traitor to himself and his desires. Also, while Chung Myung’s undying love for Man Wol is on full display in this scene, at this point, he can be interpreted as still clinging to his snake-form since he continues to provide Man Wol with no explanation for his actions.

In choosing Chan Sung over Chung Myung, Man Wol only accomplishes one of these things. She turns her back on her painful past, closing that chapter in her life. But her choice does not lead to lasting joy, at least not in that lifetime, as shortly thereafter she must depart for the afterlife herself and leave Chan Sung behind. Furthermore, Man Wol’s love with Chan Sung makes no statements about an older versus newer way of doing things because Chan Sung is from Man Wol’s present. Chan Sung represents a fresh start for Man Wol unfettered by her personal past, but he does not necessarily represent a rejection of the precepts of the past more broadly.

As for the last, after 1300 years Chung Myung has finally gone through his transformation and is restored from a firefly back into a man. Man Wol rejects him on the bridge, not because he is still part-Beast, but because she has fallen in love with someone else—a departure from this story structure. This is the point at which the mythical couple, now more worthy of each other after their trials and tribulations, is typically joined in an alchemical union which gives birth to “joy” along with freedom from the pains of the past and the older generation’s way of doing things.

Compare this to a reunion with Chung Myung that would have transcended time, death, clan, class, war, ill-fate, heartache, misunderstanding, resentment, and all the other seemingly insurmountable obstacles, both manmade and metaphysical, that stood in the way of this couple’s happiness. A happy ending for this couple would signify that love is more powerful than any obstacle, that true love finds a way even when there seems to be none, and that a love that is forbidden in its time is only considered taboo due to the small-mindedness of people.

On the Bridal Chamber Scene:

I just wanted to elaborate more on how this scene merges the wedding and funeral rites. Man Wol attempts to kill Chung Myung here, but when she hesitates, he takes his fate into his own hands and sacrifices himself by running himself through. Apart from this literal self-sacrifice, Chung Myung also puts his own wants and needs aside in favor of Man Wol’s by saving Chan Sung on the tunnel to the afterlife and facilitating his reunion with Man Wol.

The final duel between Man Wol and Chung Myung takes place in the room where a marriage was supposed to be consummated. After killing Song Hwa, Man Wol disguises herself in Song Hwa’s bridal garments, clearly playing upon the idea of a false and true bride. Song Hwa’s bridal gown is rightfully hers, but in terms of her marriage to Chung Myung, she is only dressing the part. Meanwhile, Man Wol’s appearance in these bridal robes is false—it’s a ruse—but at heart she is Chung Myung’s true bride.

I find the decision to don the bridal attire on Man Wol’s part fascinating. Even if it wasn’t her intention, it’s as though she’s claiming her rightful place as Chung Myung’s intended bride. She even goes to the trouble of unveiling herself in the same way that Song Hwa did when she expected to be greeted by Chung Myung. 

Even if on a conscious level, Man Wol only wore the bridal garb in order to catch Chung Myung off guard or to vindictively shove in his face what they could have been, her “disguise,” on some level, reveals her true aspect. Man Wol may, in a literal sense, be merely occupying Song Hwa’s place in the royal bedchamber, but in this same act, she is refusing to let Song Hwa supplant her at Chung Myung’s side. Ultimately, Man Wol’s effort to catch Chung Myung off guard backfires because he uses it to garner her sympathy and demonstrate that he still loves her.

Furthermore, after Chung Myung breathes his last, Man Wol is left feeling shocked, hollow, and empty. It might have been easy to miss, but she appears to mourn his death. She even sheds tears for him, and perhaps, for herself and what she’s become.

This isn’t the triumphant face of someone who just enacted her long-awaited revenge over an enemy; this isn’t even the face of relief over not having to kill someone she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to kill. This is the face of mourning.

I might be wrong about this, but the music that plays over their final exchange of words is reminscent of Lacrimosa from Mozart’s Requiem. This dirgeful piece of music is part of a funeral mass setting. Additionally, this piece of music is associated with the following sculpture by Antonio Canova.

[Psyche Revived by Cupid’s Kiss]

This famous sculpture depicts the moment when Eros revives Psyche from the Sleep of Death. 

Was the choice to evoke this particular piece of music composed for funerals and associated with the Eros and Psyche myth over the bridal room scene simply a coincidence? Honestly maybe, I might be reaching with this connection ahaha.

Beethoven’s famous Moonlight Sonata then starts playing as Chung Myung’s hand reaches to hold the back of Man Wol’s head. This song also notably has the somber character of a funeral march. These same notes are played during the opening sequence of the show as Man Wol travels with the coffin containing the trinkets of her deceased friends in search of the Guest House of the Moon, which is a kind of funeral procession.

Healing the Wounded Masculine:

The heroine’s ability to save her lost husband from a dark or deathly fate is a testament to her power and the strength of her love. This can be read as a literalization of the point in Murdock’s Heroine’s Journey at which the wounded masculine is healed then subsequently integrated with the feminine in a “sacred marriage” that transcends the masculine-feminine duality.

Man Wol already acts to heal Chung Myung by letting go of her resentments toward him and accompanying him on the bridge to the afterlife. She saves him from an eternal spiritual death in the form of vanishing, thus healing the outer wounded masculine (Chung Myung). Man Wol’s self-loathing could constitute her inner masculine that needs healing as well. It can be inferred from the scene in Episode 14 in which Man Wol talks to a past version of herself that she blamed herself for the death of her people and believed that she was foolish to have ever fallen in love with Chung Myung. The curse that she creates for Chan Sung when she suspects he is Chung Myung’s reincarnation takes the form of a shadow-version of herself.

This deep bitterness that Man Wol harbors for her past self is presumably destroyed along with the metal ornament when it is dissolved by her tears at the end of her long-awaited meeting with Chung Myung—note how this differs from the recognition motif in which the heroine shows her mythical husband a gift he had once given her, and then he recognizes her as his one true bride. In this way, the shadow-version of Man Wol, her wounded masculine, is resolved by coming to accept that Chung Myung truly loved her and wasn’t playing her for a fool the whole time. This point would have been spelled out further if Man Wol accepted and returned Chung Myung’s love—if both the outer and inner halves were integrated in a “marriage.”

A Refusal to Live in the Dark:

Psyche’s refusal to live in a state of childlike ignorance/dependence is what launches her out of a state of unconscious and onto her journey. Eros likewise spends much of the story under the thumb of his overbearing mother, and he, too, must undergo a journey toward individuation. Eros and Psyche’s stories complement each other, and they must overcome similar flaws in temperament.

Man Wol launches herself into consciousness by choosing to join the rebellion. No longer satisfied with a life doomed to be cut short, she rejects her life as a thief and takes steps to achieve longevity past her youth. For Chung Myung, refusing to continue living a lie means pursuing his love even unto death, defecting, and quitting serving a princess and despotic kingdom to which he holds no strong affinity. It means following his heart and returning to the land of his forefathers (recall that Chung Myung mentions that his family originally hails from Goguryeo and jokingly says that he and Man Wol could be kin—hence, his term of endearment for her is “nui” or sister).

Both must be courageous to extricate themselves from the false families they have built for themselves, even if it initially leads to pain. For these risks, they should be rewarded with a joyous reunion. Instead, their story ends in infinite separation which, in the language of a Search for the Lost Husband story, means that one of the two is still being punished.

Different Taboos Yield Different Endings:

Earlier, I alluded to the fact that ATU-425: Search for the Lost Husband tales more often end happily while their ATU-400: Quest for the Lost Bride counterparts usually end in tragedy. One explanation for this can be found in Barbara Fass Leavy’s observation that taboos imposed on mythical husbands and mythical wives are different. For this part, I’ll borrow the words of Tumblr user @allgirlsareprincesses from her post about The Death of Love and the Lonely Soul in TROS:

In her book on swan maiden tales, author Barbara Fass Leavy points out that the taboos imposed on mythical husbands are different than those imposed on mythical wives. Men, for example, are most often prohibited from abusing their fairy brides, while women are prohibited from looking upon their fairy husbands or knowing their true identity. Leavy states: “In general, taboos imposed on the wife in Cupid and Psyche tales are often intended to keep her in her place, to prevent her from achieving some autonomy by knowing who her husband is, seeing him, or being able to disclose his identity to others.”

As these taboos are reflective of a patriarchal context, the difference in these taboos suggests an inherent imbalance in the relationship between husband and wife. Men are instructed not to abuse their power, whereas women are advised not to challenge their husbands’ authority or demand a more equal relationship. However, what is subversive about these fairy tales is that, despite breaking these taboos and challenging male authority, the women in these stories ultimately defy death. They are able to recover their lost husbands and are even elevated to royal/divine status for their courage and tenacity, thus entering into more equal marriages with their husbands.

In Man Wol and Chung Myung’s relationship, there is a clear power imbalance. As a bandit, Man Wol is on the wrong side of the law, and as a lowly migrant, she lives on the margins of her kingdom in a constant state of instability and upheaval. Meanwhile, Chung Myung, while originally of a humble migrant background, rose through the ranks to captain an arm of the kingdom’s military. He is the one in a position of power, power which he initially wields to protect Man Wol but is soon twisted against him. And yes, while Man Wol herself is the leader of her clan, her authority’s legitimacy pales in comparison to Chung Myung’s when he is favored by the princess and aligned with the royal crown.

This power imbalance is leveled on the night of the royal wedding. Chung Myung’s power is stripped from him in death as he is transformed into a pitiful firefly. Man Wol, a woman on the run, is on her way to a kind of death that awaits her as the owner of the Guest House of the Moon. Frozen in time, Man Wol becomes ageless. Unlike the immortality that is granted to Psyche which unites her to Eros as equals, Man Wol’s immortality is an everlasting punishment. Still, as owner of the Guest House of the Moon, Man Wol gains some special abilities which are showcased throughout the course of the show. She is able to influence the fate of Chan Sung’s father who appears to her on the verge of death and is able to magically protect Chan Sung at several points.

When Man Wol finally says Chung Myung’s name, he briefly appears to her as he did in his life as man without armor. It is during this long-awaited encounter that the petals of the Moon Tree fall, indicating that Man Wol has regained her mortality and must serve as the owner of the Guest House no longer. Afterward, Chung Myung is transformed back into a firefly, and he is not strong enough to make it to the bridge to the afterlife on his own. He is at the mercy of Man Wol who, after letting go of her ill-will toward him, agrees to accompany him to the afterlife. On the bridge crossing the Samdo river, Chung Myung appears as a man once more. He reaches his hand out to Man Wol and offers her the option to move onto the afterlife together, united in death on equal footing at last.

Part 5: Chung Myung and Man Wol as Orpheus and Eurydice

I’ll try to keep this section brief since this post is already way too long as it is. As mentioned previously, when the gender roles in a Search for the Lost Husband story are reversed, the tale more often than not ends in tragedy. So, since the love story between Jang Man Wol and Go Chung Myung is a tragic one, it can fairly easily be read as a Quest for the Lost Bride-type story. The famous version of this story in Greek mythology is the tragedy of Orpheus and Eurydice. While it bears some similarities to the Eros and Psyche story, including a treacherous trip to the Underworld, Orpheus and Eurydice centers a masculine perspective as opposed to a feminine one. 

In the Greek myth, the union between Orpheus and Eurydice is doomed from the outset. Hymen, the god of marriage never blesses their wedding. In other Lost Bride tales, the powers that be may forbid the union (due to caste, clan, parent’s wishes, etc.) so the marriage must take place in secret.

After being bitten by a venomous snake, Eurydice dies and descends to the Underworld. In other Lost Bride stories, a separation between the husband and wife pair occurs when the wife dies during childbirth or after a betrayal on the part of the husband at which point the bride retreats back into her animal/swan form. With the bride lost or trapped in the Underworld, the husband must begin his quest.

The devastated Orpheus wallows and roams the earth, playing mournful songs on his lyre. Our hero descends to the Underworld and appeals to Hades and Persephone to return Eurydice to him. They agree but tell him that Eurydice must walk behind him on their way out of the Underworld. Orpheus is warned that he must not look back at her or else she will remain as a shade in Hades forever.

The hero swears he will obey whatever condition is put upon him, but he ultimately fails. Orpheus gives into the temptation and looks back to see if Eurydice has lost her footing. This “look back” is the equivalent of the breaking of the taboo from Lost Husband stories; it signifies a loss of faith or an inability to resist the lure of power or another lover.

Unlike the Search for the Lost Husband which rewards its heroine for her persistence with passionate love, the Quest for the Lost Bride contains harsh punishment for the failures of its hero. Orpheus loses Eurydice forever, and upon returning from the Underworld, he is torn to pieces by followers of Dionysus. His head floats down a river to the island of Lesbos to always sing sorrowful songs.

Another version of the Lost Bride story that I would like to highlight is from perhaps the most famous ballet of all time, Swan Lake. The ballet is about a princess named Odette who has been cursed by an evil sorcerer to remain a swan by day and a maid by night. The curse over Odette can only be broken if someone who has never loved before swears to love her forever. When the young Prince Siegfried, who has just come of age, stumbles upon the enchanted lake where Odette resides, the pair falls in love. Siegfried invites Odette to the ball his mother is holding the following evening in which he is supposed to select his bride.

At the royal ball, Von Rothbart, the evil sorcerer who cast the spell on Odette, arrives in disguise along with his daughter Odile who has been transformed to look like Odette. Thus, Prince Siegfried unknowingly pledges his troth to the villainous Odile rather than his true love Odette. Odette, who arrives just in time to witness this, retreats back to the titular swan lake, doomed to remain a swan forever on account of Siegfried’s betrayal.

Despite these Lost Bride/Swan Maiden stories ending in tragedy, variations exist that end on a happy note. In some versions of Orpheus and Eurydice, Orpheus descends to the Underworld for good and is reunited with Eurydice, to spend eternity together, hand-in-hand. Similarly, some versions of Swan Lake end with a double suicide that vanquishes evil, breaks Rothbart’s curse over the other swan-maidens, and results in an apotheosis for Odette and Siegfried who are eternally united in death.

Although different productions of Swan Lake contain vastly different endings, the original ends in tragedy. In versions with a tragic end, Prince Siegfried is killed in his final struggle with Rothbart, or Odette permanently becomes a swan while the grief-stricken Siegfried remains alone at the story’s conclusion.

The apotheosis from American Ballet Theatre’s 2005 TV version of Swan Lake.

So, how do these stories relate to Man Wol and Chung Myung’s? Well, first, it’s clear from even the very first minutes of Hotel del Luna that Man Wol’s love with Chung Myung is bound to end poorly because the show opens with Man Wol being doomed to keep the Guest House of the Moon as a punishment for killing numerous people. The mystery that unfolds throughout the course of the show is exactly what drove her to kill so many, and the answers we’re given about Man Wol’s past are all tied to Go Chung Myung.

The inciting event that takes the place of the wife’s tragic death or husband’s infidelity is Chung Myung’s betrayal of Man Wol. Like Prince Siegfried, Chung Myung fails to pledge his troth to his true love and instead pledges his loyalties to the false-bride Song Hwa.

It is after this betrayal that Man Wol returns to her ‘enchanted’ form, that is, in contrast to the true self that the ‘prince’ Chung Myung had drawn out of her, Man Wol resumes her inauthentic aspect as ruthless bandit. After slaying the false-bride along with countless others, Man Wol becomes trapped in the Underworld (the Guest House), and her treacherous lover joins her shortly thereafter.

Chung Myung’s persistence in remaining at Man Wol’s side as well as Man Wol’s refusal to budge after all those years appeal to Mago, the ruler of this Underworld, and cause her to create the conditions that bring Koo Chan Sung to the hotel. It is Chan Sung’s entrance into Man Wol’s life that leads to her confronting her past and her eventual reunion with Chung Myung.

However, the power imbalance that we saw in Search for the Lost Husband tales is not entirely absent in their Quest for the Lost Bride counterparts. When Lost Bride tales are retold from a particular masculine perspective, the happy ending often predicates upon the husband successfully subjugating his wife rather than a marriage of two lovers as equals.

When Man Wol reunites with Go Chung Myung, he appears to her in his humble attire without his armor and says few words, accepting her decision to let go of her resentments toward him while she insists that it's time for him "move on" to the afterlife. Man Wol forgives Chung Myung, but she doesn't welcome him back with open arms, and subsequently declines his invitation to move on together. Chung Myung takes a more passive role in these interactions, so I don't really get the vibe that a happy ending between him and Man Wol would have predicated on him subjugating or dominating Man Wol. Man Wol is able to let go of her grudge toward Chung Myung, but they were ultimately unable to rekindle their love.

Alright, it's high time to wrap this up. On a closing note, I would like to say this is just one lens through which this story can be analyzed. My analysis focused on the historical subplot of Hotel Del Luna which is only one of its many concurrent storylines. You can easily read the overarching love story between Man Wol and Chan Sung as a gender-swapped Beauty and The Beast story with Man Wol as the cold and conceited "Beast" who holds Chan Sung's father hostage in episode 1 only to spare his life in exchange for his son's servitude, the Moon Tree as an analogue to the magical rose, and the Hotel del Luna serving as the Beast's enchanted palace.

I hope you enjoyed this long-winded meta, and if you made it this far, thanks for reading <3

[cosmo-watches-movies]

Gallowglass (1993)

Triggerwarning: Suicide, Physical Abuse, Violence

Summary: Joe (Michael Sheen) was just released from a mental hospital but his foster parents wont take him back home. Desperate and having nowhere to go he attemps to commit suicide but is saved last minute by Sandor (Paul Rhys). Joe is now devoted to his saviour, who uses this to his advantage by further manipulating Joe up to the point where he aggrees to help kidnap a young woman.

Spoilers beyond this

Starting off with a punch in the gut (litterally)

Found this a bit uncomfortable to watch. Not necessarily because its bad, but because is portrays a very abusive relationship between Sandor and Joe. It’s proper fucked up, so that is kinda the point. Joe is almost obsessed with Sandor, constantly excusing his horrible behaviour and actions. You very much believe that Joe would do anything for him. It’s genuinely scary to watch.

Sandor saves Joe

After they successfully kidnap the young woman they where after it turns out Sandor isn’t after a ransom, but is in love with her and wants to free her from her (as he thinks) miserable life. She rejects him which he, after some drama, accepts. However Sandor ends up killing himself the same way Joe tried to earlier, by throwing himself in front of a train. And because he’s a total bastard he does it right in front of Joe. (poor guy can’t catch a break)

Throughout the series are short clips of Joe explaining the events in hindsight This shows a very different aspect of the character it’s almost jarring. But in a good way. You very much get the sense that this whole story scarred him even further, but he also seems more mature and reflected. In the end we see that he might be talking to a therapist (maybe even in a prison?) so I like to think that at some point in his life he manages to set himself free from that past trauma. “Tilly said Sandor was bananas, off the wall, after lunch…there seem to be a lot of words for mad. I told her never to say it. He wasn’t mad, he was just in pain…I know all about that, don’t I?” - fucking shivers down my spine The way he delivered that line, fucking genius. If you dont wanna watch the whole series, watch this one scene it’s so good. (it’s somewhat at the 44 minute mark of episode three)

The performances of the lead actors are way more convincing than I expected, it’s the most interesting part of the whole series imo. Joe starts off already broken and by the end he’s absolutely fucked up. He gets completely corrupted by his saviour to the point of kinda assuming his persona after Sandor died. Thats a pretty interesting dynamic and it left me feeling a bit icky afterwards.

I havent read the book but even with the great performances of the actors something about the story didnt quite capture me. Like the suspense was built up, but the payoff wasnt quite there. Maybe the stakes arent high enough? Idk something about the overall story couldve been pushed a bit more…

Anyway idk if this was Michaels very first time acting in front of a camera, but considering this was very early in his career he did an exeptionally good job. Michael has this way of completely disappearing in his characters its amazing to watch. And it blows my mind that he could do this so well already when he was just like 24 I think?

Joe calls the woman they intend to kidnap "the princess", after a story Sandor told him

His acting combined with Paul Rhys gives a very convincing dynamic. If it wasn’t for them this would’ve been an absolute bore.

Would I recommend watching this? Maybe, If you don’t have a problem going through a few unconfortable scenes and a overall mediocre story. If you absolutely want to see Michael play a very broken, fucked up young man, sure! There’s some good acting in it so at least it isnt boring. Just prepare for violence and some uncomfy stuff.

(Horrible Hair dye job, Sandor)

[tenaciouschronicler]

August 4 2024 2009

John is having a terrible time. WV is being insufferable in their insistance on cookies while the Narrator chastises WV, ultimately leading to a great image of John.

That is a boy who is so beyond done. Hes so done, the floor shakes from the sheer force of his abjuration.

WVs text also suddenly goes from all caps to more normal lowercase. Its revealed they finally undid the Caps Lock button in their effort to bully John into getting baked goods.

We get another series of removed pictures. Undoing the Caps seems to have opened a door over by the battery.

Inside are a plant, cans of BEANS and MUSTARD and a book titled HUMAN ETIQUETTE. Who put them there and why they were behind a caps lock button is unclear.

We jump back to Rose who is hard at work adding more information to her walkthrough. She brings up some questions which I will post here for everyone to contemplate.

On the four possible combinations of Kernel Prototyping:

What is the effect of an un-prototyped kernel on The Medium?

Or a doubly-prototyped kernel, for that matter?

On The Medium and Incipisphere:

Do all players world-wide make it to this dimension if they successfully complete their departure?

Or is a unique "blank" instance of the dimension created for each new player?

On the number of Orbs:

Does this mean we are "destined" to have a four player chain?

How could the game "know" such a thing?

Rose is really good at asking questions. The first two would have to be tested in-universe to gain an answer. The next two we can kinda answer. Sburb doesnt seem to be similar to an MMORPG, if it were John would technically have a session with the other three walkthrough creators but as weve seen Johns is the first Kernel for this instance. Theres also no indication that you can join together instances of the game outside of the current Client/Server pair. And for the last two... Roses guesses are as good as mine. Skaia, whoever they are, have to have some goal in mind for this. Perhaps the only correct way is with four players, but that information is nowhere to be found before starting the game. Rose herself states that the game has deviated from what little information she was able to gain some way beforehand. Everyone here seems to be going in blind for better or worse.

[the-creative-chronicles-of-king]

The Making of DIGITALES!

As the video editor of the films for our website, I'd be remiss if I said the process was effortless. The first few edits were a struggle. My mind felt like a blank page, trapped in the box of "what's popular." So I did what any sane person would do—I embraced my own weirdness. Before reaching our current website, we embarked on a journey filled with doubts and uncertainties.

It all started with a jumble of ideas... then we built a website!

From our early discussions, the biggest challenge was delivery: how to make this a story worthy of the digital realm? Days turned into weeks, and we finally started laying the groundwork. Sure, it wasn't groundbreaking, but it was a starting point. These simple edits became the foundation for our experimentation.

Initially, we created clips with a hopeful "maybe this is it," but as it turned out, there wasn't much experimental about them. As the course emphasized, I've always pushed myself to be innovative. Technology, like the sky, has limitless possibilities.

So, we decided to try something different: comics for Part 1, scrapbooks for Part 2, and video games for Part 3. While visually distinct, they were all connected by an analog storytelling style. Comics, scrapbooks, and video games were mediums where storytelling came first. We tried to modernize them, making them move in ways that is unusual.

For Part 1, our goal was to illuminate the daily experiences of people commuting, highlighting its current relevance and the challenges it faces. We aimed to provide viewers with a unique experience, opting for a series of photos that resembled a comic book. Our intention was to allow them to explore and comprehend the story independently, without the need for explicit narration.

For Part 2, we successfully cultivated an atmosphere reminiscent of flipping through a scrapbook, where the scrapbook itself animatedly unfolds before the viewers. Our aim was to narrate the story of a queer person in a manner that felt like unraveling a cherished part of their life.

For Part 3, the most exhilarating endeavor was our decision to fully animate everything, symbolizing a reflection of the current situation we are all navigating. In a reality where inflation has led our lives far from the promises made by the president, we opted for animation rather than real photos. This choice aimed to immerse viewers in the idea that our existence feels akin to a video game, with one person in control of our lives and determining our paths.

Concerning the interface of our website, the journey was also quite extensive. We initially envisioned a vibrant and colorful website, but fortunately, we transitioned to a design that mirrors a legitimate streaming platform familiar to users.

For distribution, I reached out to friends outside our UP, asking for their thoughts on the website. Their feedback was overwhelmingly positive. Many appreciated this alternative way of accessing films and videos, compared to the usual in-your-face placement on Facebook or Instagram. We created a website that looked like a real streaming platform, allowing users to explore and feel immersed in the experience. Our "free, ad-free" bootleg Netflix approach proved to be a hit, evidenced by delighted comments like:

To our surprise, our friends even helped us spread the word by sharing our website on their Instagram and Facebook stories. I also designed some ads to look like legitimate Instagram story promotions, further boosting engagement.

Woah! That was a whirlwind of chaos, and a journey I'm incredibly grateful for. In the first few months of this class, I was completely clueless about our direction. However, the word "experiment" became our guiding light, leading us to where we are now—with a fully developed website. If you had asked me a few months ago, I wouldn't have understood how I got here.

One crucial lesson that resonated with me is the idea that even in the smallest details, there lies a story. Even in well-established narratives, there are untold stories waiting to be explored. This insight proved immensely valuable as we navigated this journey.

[hotcoffeetransformation]

Jason swore loudly and had to resist the urge to throw his controller down, pissed that he kept dying cause of the game's stupid glitches (Also known as own mistakes). Still, he regained his composure, and smiled before saying

"Alright chat, we're gonna finish up this one and then we're gonna move on to another game. There should be a poll on top for what we do next"

Jason was a moderately successfully game streamer, averaging about 200 to 300 viewers a night, entirely based on his wit and skill. He knew for sure that they weren't coming for his looks, given his weedy, thin frame, overly pimpled face and large, nerdy glasses. Still, it was enough for him, and he was happy with the progress that he'd made.

As Jason got himself set up for the next game, he heard a shocking sound from above him. The victory theme from one of his favorite JRPGs was blaring through the speakers, and he came up, staring at the screen in shock. He knew what that sound meant. That meant someone had tipped him one thousand dollars, completely out of nowhere.

He looked in shock at the notification on the stream, seeing that it was from someone named JockBro69, with the simple message "Can't wait to get to know you better, cutie~"

Jason was completely stunned. Not only had someone actually redeemed the donation goal that he set as a joke (That being that whoever was stupid enough to tip 1000 dollars got to have a 15 minute private chat with him), it was also someone that he'd never seen in his chat before.

Thoroughly weirded out, but knowing that he had to honor his commitment, he sent the guy a quick private message.

"Dude, I don't know how to thank you enough! Guess I'll see ya pretty soon!"

With that, he sent the man his private zoom link, and said goodbye to the chat, who were still going wild over this turn of events, before pausing,the stream and hopping over to discord for the call.

Not two seconds after his stream stopped, he got a requested video call on discord from the guy, and he opened it up, giving a second for the video to load, but when it did, he was completely dumbfounded again. He was expecting the mysterious donator to be some fat, sweaty silicon valley nerd with too much and money on his hands, but instead what met him was possibly the hottest man he's ever seen, standing up and looking down at his webcam with a friendly expression.

"Fuck, bro! Its so good to finally fucking meet you, I've been such a big fan for a long time, and this is a really big deal for me~

The man had a deep, rumbling, pleasant voice, that shot straight down Jacob's spine and left him feeling strangely... inadequate. Like the fact that his voice wasn't as smooth or melodic as this guy's was his fault, and he should be ashamed of that fact. Still, this guy was pretty pleasant to look at, Jason had to admit. He wasn't gay, definitely not, but he could acknowledge when another guy simply looked good.

Jason scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, not entirely sure of what he should do or say. Still, this guy spent 1000 dollars on this meeting, so he had to try anyway.

"So, umm.... I see your username is jockbro69... What's your actual name thought? I don't think I've ever seen you in chat before..."

The other man actually laughed at this, before looking confused and saying

"What are you talking about bro? Its me, Ethan! I'm in your chat all the time! Man, I guess what they say about playing games so much is true, huh?"

At this statement, Jason actually went pale with shock. THIS was Ethan? This was the guy who's username used to be runningLink? Who was an active fan of the zelda series, constantly begged Jason to play them, and bemoaned the fact that no would date him? It just didn't seem right...

Still, Jason, ever the semi professional, continued on, pretending that he wasn't shocked at the news.

"Well, thanks for supporting me so much! Seriously, this means a lot to me... Ummm... so I guess tell me some of your favorite things about the channel then!"

The man laughed again, the sound coming out in a slow, dumb chuckle, before saying

"What's my favorite thing? Do I even have to say, bro? Its the amazing piece of eye candy I'm looking at right now. You're super hot, bro~"

At this, Jason was shocked, but he chuckled awkwardly while blushing, and said

"Really? I don't think I've ever heard a single person say that before. I guess I consider myself slightly below average..."

The guy looked confused at that, before pressing on

"Really, bro? You look super hot to me, you got those bright, blinding blue eyes that you can just get lost in~"

At this point, Jason knew the man was just messing with him. His eyes have always, and will always be a dark, muddy brown, hidden behind his massive frames. Jason was about to respond, when Ethan continued

"Yeah, and you got that super stylish haircut too, really makes you look super masculine~"

Now Jason was REALLY confused. The guy was right, he did always get complements on his eyes, the bright, shocking blue visible and striking even through his huge glasses. But his hair was always a long, unkempt greasy mess.

"Ethan, are you sure you're okay, you're not just seeing things? Cause I don't know what you're talking about"

Ethan ignored the comment, just continuing to press on

"And you've got that hot, manly face, with your strong jaw and amazing profile"

Jason was confused again. Sure, his stylish haircut did help him look much better, but his face had always been pretty androgynous, with hints of baby fat still present in his cheeks. Again, before he could interrupt, Ethan continued,

"And you've got that smooth smooth skin, that hot stubble, that sexy smirk of yours. You're the full package bro~"

Jason laughed at this. Ethan was clearly being way too complementary. Sure his face had a great shape to it, with strong cheekbones and a square jaw, but his skin was still acne marked as hell, his smile was crooked and awkward, and he'd never been able to grow any facial hair, no matter how much he tried.

"I really have no idea what you're talking about Ethan. Sure I've got some good features, but the overall package isn't much to write home about~"

Ethan smirked again, his eyes lighting up with humor, as if he knew something I didn't.

"Nah, bro, you're underselling yourself. Plus, you've got that body~"

"What about my body? I think its pretty average, though I guess I'm a bit on the skinny side..."

Jason looked down at himself, trying to contemplate what Ethan meant. Sure, he'd been blessed with an attractive, manly face, but it didn't change the fact that his body was still below average at best.

"Again, bro! Putting yourself down. You really think those massive logs you have for arms are below average?"

Jason looked down at his skinny arms, and said

"More like logs than twigs man, seriously."

"And what about your legs? You've spent so long working on em, you've got thighs and glutes to kill for~"

Jason laughed again

"I dunno man! Most people say the exact opposite. They say I spend too much time on arms and not enough on my torso and legs. What can I say though? I love having big, beefy arms."

"Of course you do, bro? Who wouldn't? Especially when right in between em, you got your big, pillowy chest, your sexy abs, and your super toned back~"

Jason was seriously starting to wonder if Ethan was on something. Anyone could clearly see from first glance that Jason's body was badly proportioned, his arms and legs being massive from months to years of work, while he neglected his back, pecs and ab muscles. Still, he thought he looked pretty alright honestly.

"And I especially love how you're not only super sexy, you know it and flaunt it~ I don't think I've ever seen you once wear a shirt. The most you'll wear is a necklace, and even then, not like that covers anything, bro~ Only makes you look sexier"

Now here Jason had to disagree. He knew that he had cultivated and developed an amazing body over his years of going to the gym, but that was all for his own personal satisfaction. He never flaunted it unnecessarily, especially not during a stream.

"And I love the fact that you're such a fucking bro, bro. Every other word out of your mouth is bro and dude, you can't go even five minutes without flexing and thinking of fucking, or going to the gym, or hanging out with your other hot bros. We all know that your brain is basically only good for working out and looking hot. No smart's up there. And you've got your deep, sexy voice, too. Makes it even hotter that you're a gay bro, just like me"

Jason HAD to laugh at that. What the guy was saying was just so ridiculous.

"What the hell are you talking about? Look, I know that I like to show off my sexy body a lot, but that doesn't mean I'm some kind of dumb jock. And I'm definitely straight, dude. Don't know why you'd think I'm gay"

Ethan pressed on, completely unabashed by Jason's last comments.

"But you know the best fucking part, bro? Its that power of yours. The fact that any weak ass nerd who looks at you and your huge fucking muscles grows into a hot, dumb bro like us within seconds~"

Jason was busy flexing, staring at his own bicep in awe, as if he was shocked by him impressive he was. He looked up at Ethan blearily, saying

"Sorry, bro, what'd you say? I guess I got a bit fucking distracted. Huhuhu. But who could blame me~"

"Nah, it was nothing bro. You don't need to worry about it. Now should head back to the stream?"

Jason gasped in excitement, having forgotten entirely about the fact that there was a whole stream audience full of lame ass nerds, just ready for him to make as sexy as he and Ethan were.

"You got it bro~ This is gonna be so fucking hot~"

Jason left the call, going back to the stream and restarting, glad to see that a full 300 people were still watching, even through the extended break. The second he turned his camera on, he could see that people were confused for some reason, saying a stranger broke into his house. How stupid could these people be? How did they not recognize him? Still, not like it would matter for long...

"Hey bros! How're we all fucking doing? Welcomes to today's stream..."

He trailed off, looking blankly at the camera, before saying

"You know what? Fuck video games! Who needs them when you can do this~"

And as his pecs bounced and bounced hypnotically, the chat slowly transitioned from messages like "What the fuck is happening?" or "Who is this dumb jock?" to "Fuck, bro! Your pecs look so fucking hot today!" and "Huhuhu, I love making my pecs bounce like Jace's~"

And so the stream continued, Jace showing everyone all the amazing things his body could do, while anyone that was watching, whether they wanted to or not, began to copy him exactly. And as the stream went on, the viewer count rose, and rose, and rose...

[sunfish-studies]

Flight Down

✄・・・ Crisp Leaves [Aoba Johsai Manager Series]

➜ Pairing: Aoba Johsai x Manager! Reader

➜ Warning: attempt murder (???). Jealous, borderline crazy fangirls. Hospital. Injury. Blood. Slurs

➜ Notes: Manager in this story will be portrayed as a girl. She will be tall, around 170.5 cm.

↷ SUMMARY ↶

More than a time, things went out of control–not only because of us, but others could be held responsible for it too.

You couldn’t always keep everything under your command–that is life and you understand that aspect very well. The perfect scenario planned in your head will always be interrupted by something–nothing is called ‘run smoothly’ all the time in this world.

That’s why you always tried to prepare–still with that, sometimes things went out of your control league. No, it’s not because of you–factors from the third party successfully caught you off-guard, however you tried to settle everything down as best as you could.

Except this.

“Quit being the manager. How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“And how many times do I need to let you know that it won’t happen.”

Intimidation of Oikawa’s fangirls–they never did it in the light of the day because they had it done via underground and dirty ways. One of them was cornering you.

“You disgust me.” She gritted her teeth. “Really that thirsty for attention, huh, whore?”

You held your head high. “I should be the one saying that.”

“Why you-!”

“Wait, Mako-!”

The next thing you knew, your feet didn’t touch the ground anymore–everything flashed, but at the same time fell into slow motion in your head. Your head went blank before it was immediately dragged back to reality by excoriating pain hammered onto your body.

Opening your eyes–you didn’t even know when you closed them–the world was blurry, the first thing in your line of sight were stairs. All you heard was intense ringing in your eardrums, failing to comprehend anything went through your hearings.

“What did you do!? This isn’t the part of the plan!”

“You’re a murderer! I can’t believe this!”

“I-It was an accident!”

“I don’t want to be involve!”

“S-someone call an ambulance!!“

Everything hurts.

                                                        ✎ . . . .

Oikawa goofed around most of the time, however there are times he discarded that personality and turned into someone who could be mistaken as someone else or another person possessing him.

You weren’t back from filling the water bottles for quite some time and the team started to get dehydrated. So, as a captain, he went to fetch you–already arranging a set of teasing complete with its plan B if somehow all of them failed.

He was ready to teased the heck out of you, he was ready to annoyed you with the most recent useless gossip he managed to hear during class, he was ready to be smacked on the back because you’re so done with his antics.

But, he was never ready to see you lying on the ground at the bottom of the stairs motionless–small splatters of red visible beside your head.

He swore he lost several beats of his heart from the view. And everything went blur for him–running in extremely fast pace his brain failed to comprehend fully to every detail.

He remembered screaming so loud the team could hear him from the gym.

He remembered rushing towards you, harshly fell onto his knees–trying his best to pick you up into his arms from the floor gently even though his hands trembling greatly.

He remembered the sticky and wet sensation on his palm once he placed a hand on your head–when he pulled back, thick crimson color decorated.

Iwaizumi was the one who answered to his desperate screaming for help–borderline of panic and hysteric. Once he arrived, he could hear blood roaring in his ears and his mind blanking for a few seconds. The precious few seconds he could use to call an ambulance or screaming for the coach instead of being frozen on the spot–eyes widening in horror.

Hanamaki joined the screaming parade almost automatically–panic drenched him instantly when his eyes found your battered form in Oikawa’s arms. The captain had tears running down his cheeks and he swore he felt the same. But he welcomed the panic, because it grounded him to reality and went to his captain–asking questions. Is it for his sanity or Oikawa’s he didn’t know.

Matsukawa had to lean onto the wall–somehow, his legs lost their strength to keep him standing. He even had to punch the wall as hard as he could–no, it wasn’t because he’s angry, it’s because he needed the pain to assure himself that this was indeed reality. Even if he knew it was real, his mind was still trying to deny the truth.

If Matsukawa leaned onto the wall, then Yahaba slumped to the ground once he witnessed the horrifying scene. He couldn’t move an inch–as if his body was chained to the ground. He couldn’t even tell if he was breathing or not–his mind went white without anything present. Trembling heavily on the ground, he could hear his ears ringing–blocking Hanamaki and Oikawa’s screams.

Watari instantly put a hand upon his mouth–if he didn’t, his lunch would be out of his stomach from the intense paranoia and panic crashing onto him. With shaking hands, he snatched his phone from his pocket–pressing the emergency call button in order to seek for medical help.

Kyotani was no better than Iwaizumi or Matsukawa. The boy was rooted to the ground, eyes widening. He knew he need to do something, anything to get this sort immediately. The sooner you got help, the better it will be. However, no matter how he screamed to his own mind, his body wouldn’t move an inch.

Kindaichi was instantly by your side. His body and mind didn’t synchronize–he couldn’t hear what he said, all he felt was his lips moving however all he heard was the beating of his heart trying to wrench its way out of his chest. His mind supplied him with endless questions–how on earth did this happen? Who did it? Why?

Kunimi almost retched on the spot–seeing thick red line running from your head to your chin was enough to nearly forced itself to be emptied. His breath went out of control–his mind was consumed in panic, his brain was numbed by shock, his body felt as if there were mountains holding it down.

Coach Irihata barked at the medical team to immediately take you to the hospital–not minding anything about practice at the moment. Coach Mizoguchi tried his best to ground the other boys, giving his shoulder to lean on.

Thankfully, after hospital and several detailed vital check-ups, you didn’t appear to receive heavy concussion. Still, you had to suffer a mild one because the height wasn’t something you would laugh about. The doctor listed everything–bruises, light sprain on your left leg, gratefully none of broken bones, absence from school for at least a week.

The team never failed to give you a visit almost every day after practice–the coaches even went with them for the sake of seeing you. They brought along sweets and small gifts to wish you well (and you never thought Kyotani would give you a bouquet of fresh irises, he’s really thoughtful).

While they put up a façade as if nothing happened, truthfully they flipped the school upside down. The Coach Irihata reported the incident to the principal, demanding a throughout search for the culprit. At first they deemed it was some sort of accident, however if you were to fall from the stairs from tripping you would at least protected your head and conscious–thus calling someone for help via phone or else.

Fortunately, someone heard some girls talking about the incident the other day–something in line about ‘what should they do?’, ‘what if Otohaku reported them?’. The team didn’t want to question you, seeing how you trembled slightly after Coach Mizoguchi asked gently of what’s truly happening.

They immediately reported it to the volleyball team, although promising to keep their name anonymous because they didn’t want to be involve.

If the three girls went unscratched from the volleyball team’s confrontation physically, it would leave a huge scar mentally. Well, would it be a prank if tall boys suddenly barged into your classroom to slap a hand upon your desk? Their looks were nothing less than menacing.

At the end, the culprits blubbered out an apology–even as far as kneeling on the ground from Oikawa’s glowering stare. He felt a sickening satisfaction from the view–though he hoped he could make her pay more for hurting you out of ugly jealousy.

[wlwmarvelenthusiast]

Turn Your Luck

Summary: After a day filled with bad luck and a series of unfortunate events, Natasha manages to turn your day around

Pairing: Reader x Natasha Romanoff

Warnings: None

Words: 6,167

When you woke up in the morning and smacked your big toe off your bed frame, you didn't even think twice of it. It sent a jolt all throughout your foot, but after a few swear words, you were already feeling a little better. You didn't bother making the bed you'd just stood up out of. All your life you'd reasoned that it wouldn't be 24 hours before you just messed it up again. You grabbed a towel and moved into the bathroom. The hot shower made you forget all about the sore toe you'd been sporting only a moment earlier.

You were feeling great when you stepped out of the shower. The warm water had always instilled comfort into your very bones even this early in the morning. You wiped some of the condensation off the mirror to brush your teeth. The tube of toothpaste was completely empty, and the drawer where you usually kept the new ones was also barren. You rolled your eyes at your own irresponsibility, before brushing your teeth without any toothpaste and then using some mouthwash to try and compensate for it. You stepped out of the bathroom.

You got dressed in your favourite white shirt and black pants before making your way into the kitchen. You tossed your phone onto the counter as you passed it on the way to the small kitchen table. You were after the fruit bowl, which was already needing a refill. There were still a few apples left, though, and you were expecting to have one for breakfast. You were mistaken. You pulled the empire apple out of the blue bowl to find the bottom had grown immensely soft and was clearly not in any condition to be eaten. You were disappointed but tossed it into the compost bin and moved on.

Humming a soft tune as you moved, you popped a pod into the single-serve coffee maker and pressed start. You were moving toward the fridge in no time when a strange noise caught your attention. You whirled to face the coffee maker. Instead of the steady stream of coffee you usually got, it was spraying the hot liquid like it was a shaken pop can. You jumped behind the small island, using it as a shield. Thankfully, you'd managed to keep your white shirt safe from the wrath of the coffee. When it stopped, you finally dared step back into the kitchen. The dark liquid was dripping down every nearby surface. You huffed, running some paper towel across the biggest surfaces quickly.

You gave up on the coffee. It seemed you weren't going to get it anyway. You glared at the machine as if it had intentionally smitten you. Instead, you reached into the fridge instead and poured a glass of orange juice for yourself. You sipped it before setting it back onto the countertop. When your phone buzzed and indicated an incoming message, you reached for it. Your elbow hit your glass and it fell onto its side. The orange liquid spilled off the counter and into your white shirt. You gave the mess the middle finger, tossing a dishtowel on it to soak it up, with the intention of actually cleaning it after work. You already had to clean the coffee up anyway.

Any attempt at breakfast was abandoned. After the three kitchen incidents combined, you were convinced you'd be better off heading to some drive-thru on the way to work. Now in a new blue shirt, you grabbed your bag and headed out your front door. You unlocked your car, slid into the driver's seat, and hit the ignition. The car sputtered for a few seconds, before refusing to start. You tried again, and then again, before groaning, taking out your frustration on the steering wheel in front of you. You stood up and stepped back out of the vehicle, slamming the door behind you with much more force than necessary.

Then, it was off to the bus stop. You headed down the sidewalk to the nearest one, pulling out your phone as you walked so you could check your app to find out when the next bus was coming. When you saw big red letters informing you that the bus was halted until further notice, though, you had to refrain from throwing your phone hard into the concrete. You supposed you should have had a little sympathy for those in the accident that had halted your bus, but you couldn't find it in yourself right then. Your morning was not going well.

It was a good thing you hadn't smashed your phone against the sidewalk. It was the only thing you could use to get you to work now. You switched apps and ordered an Uber to come to pick you up. When the driver arrived, you climbed into the back seat and gave him the address of your place of work. He nodded and pressed his foot down on the gas. Your eyes had been glued on your phone, but your gaze flickered at the driver's movement. He was adjusting the mirror and you were absolutely sure he'd angled it to face you a little better. You could have puked when you realized the creep was checking you out. You didn't say anything, at this point just wanting to get to work and be done with it.

You practically sprinted into the building when you arrived. Security didn't seem to mind your rush, having seen your face every day for over three years anyway. You hopped up the stairs two at a time, faster than the elevator would have been able to carry you anyway. When you reached the meeting room door you took a few seconds to catch your breath, not wanting to seem too flustered in your professional environment. When you finally pushed the door open, everyone was rising to their feet. Their eyes all darted up to glance at you. You smiled sheepishly.

"You're late."

"I know, I'm sorry." That was honest. You might have been frustrated, but you hadn't wanted to inconvenience any of your coworkers as well. "I've really had a rough morning."

Your boss nodded. "We've all had those days. I'll send you an email and give you a summary."

You thanked him and left the meeting room with everyone else. You trudged into your office, throwing your bag to the floor, and refraining from slamming the door behind you. You collapsed into your office chair and closed your eyes for a brief moment. But you didn't have time for that. The paperwork on your desk needed your attention. You gave it. The hours you spent on all the files, emails, and documents were the smoothest thing that had happened all day, even if it was mind-numbingly boring and felt absolutely endless. It might have been smooth sailing, but it didn't brighten your spirits at all.

When your phone rang, you reached out blindly until you felt your hand come in contact with it. You shuffled it until it was upright in your hand. You were so completely absorbed in the document that was displayed on your computer screen that you didn't even bother to look at your phone as you fumbled to slide the answer bar. Only when the incessant ringing had finally ceased did you know you'd successfully answered the call. You hesitated before you slowly raised the phone to your ear, eyes still scanning the lines in front of you.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hun."

Immediately you regretted not checking the caller ID before answering the phone. You could have kicked yourself. In fact, the move was so ridiculously and incredibly stupid that you could have beaten yourself to a pulp. The voice on the other end of the line was familiar, completely unwelcome, and not a surprise after having the day that you were having. You turned away from the screen, resting your elbow on the desk and massaging the migraine that was beginning to form in your forehead. You sighed heavily, sure she heard it.

"Hi," you stated. "What?"

"Hun-"

"Please stop calling me that, I already asked you."

You had asked her that. Multiple times. You'd broken up months ago after she'd broken your heart. Catching her in bed with someone else had left you shattered and unsure if you could trust anyone. You'd been okay for a couple months now after some comfort and reassurance from your best friend, who you were having dinner with tonight. You glanced at the time. Your attention was unfortunately brought back to the girl on the phone, though, when she sighed your name as if she were the one who was hurt. She had no right to be hurt.

"I just-"

"I'm working," you finally said bluntly. "Is it urgent?"

"No. No, I'm sorry. I... I can call you tomorrow."

You wanted to snap and tell her not to bother, but you didn't. You just nodded despite her not being able to see it, said goodbye, and hung up. Once more you were faced with the urge to smash the stupid phone. Once more you fought it, instead shoving it into a drawer so you could ignore it and work on the mountains of paperwork you had to get through before your six o'clock reservations. You got back to it. Soon enough, the information was able to push your ex far from your mind. You didn't want to think about her anyway.

It felt like it had been eons since you'd arrived at work, and yet, according to the clock in the corner of your screen, you still had over an hour until your reservation. You might have slammed your head down onto the desk in front of you had two things not stopped you. The first was the migraine that was still throbbing in your head, and the second was the ringing of your office phone. Even though you knew she couldn't call you on here, you checked the caller ID before you picked up this time. It was the front desk.

"Hey, Tamara. What's up?

"There's someone here for you. She said you're going to miss your reservations."

"Reservations? It's only 4:45."

Tamara hesitated. "Daylight savings. It's 5:45."

You had entirely forgotten about that and even if you hadn't, you would have expected the computer would auto-update something like that. But you had forgotten, and the computer hadn't jumped forward, and now you were going to be late, and you still hadn't turned in the file that you'd promised to turn in today. You groaned in frustration, but transferred the file to a flash drive, shoved it into your bag, and left your office. Clearly, everyone else had remembered the time change, as the office was empty.

You cursed all of your coworkers in your head. You made for the elevator. When you stepped on and hit the button to bring you down to the lobby, you actually crossed your fingers. With your luck, all of the cables on the elevator would snap and you'd plummet all the way to the parking garage and die in a fiery explosion. Thankfully, your little gesture of luck seemed to work, for the doors slid open safe and sound in the lobby. As you stepped out, though, your bag hit the door, and the company ID snapped off and slipped in that tiny little crack between the elevator and the floor and out of sight. You cursed loudly.

You didn't dare shine your flashlight down the crack to try and see how far it'd gone; either your phone would have gone down after it out the doors would have slammed shut on either side of your skull. Neither of those things were a chance you were willing to take. You abandoned your ID and continued to the front desk, letting Tamara know what had happened. She nodded in understanding before pointing out your best friend, who had come to collect you after you'd let her know this morning that you'd taken an Uber to work. You approached her and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey," she said brightly.

"Hey, Nat."

Natasha Romanoff was the best thing to happen to you all day. She was your very best friend. Too, maybe you wanted her to be a little more. She was the most beautiful woman you'd ever laid eyes on, the red waves on her head only accentuating her emerald green irises, which sparkled when she smiled at you. That was only her physical beauty. Though she was, to most everyone that knew her, a tough, scary Avenger, you knew it was a façade. Natasha was the kindest, most generous, selfless, and caring person you'd ever had the pleasure of knowing.

"Tamara tells me you forgot about daylight saving time started last night."

"Shut up," you grumbled.

"Irritable because you lost an hour of sleep?"

"Nat," you said, already feeling bad for snapping at her. You rubbed your head. "I'm not having the greatest of days."

That was how your friendship with Nat was. You both understood that not every day was a good day. She tried to convince you not to compare, but you especially understood that. Natasha had been through hell on Earth when she was a child and you wished with every fibre of your heart that you could bear some of that for her. But you couldn't, and you were sure that if you could have, she wouldn't let you. So instead, you understood the bad days, and in turn, she did too. When you stated that today was one of those days, she turned to you with concern sparkling in those beautiful eyes.

"You okay?" She asked.

Your heart fluttered when her hand took yours.

It was a friendly gesture, of course, but you couldn't help but wish it otherwise. You wanted to hold her hand and have it not be just as a friend. You wanted to be able to intertwine your fingers with hers and squeeze her hand tight and feel that constant touch against her. You didn't want it to be friendly, you wanted it to be more. You wanted it to be so much more. You wanted to call her yours and for her to call you hers. But she was just a friend, and it was far better than nothing.

You hadn't always believed that someone could fall in love without some sort of a romantic relationship leading up to it. Now you realized it didn't need to be romantic. You and Natasha were close. You were closer than you'd ever been with anyone before. Because of that relationship, you knew you loved her. You were head over heels in love with her at this point, and you'd realized that a little while ago when you caught yourself fondly admiring her as she drummed her fingers against the table, deep in thought. It was a habit that had once had the ability to drive you up the wall.

"Hello?" She tried again. Her hand squeezed yours.

Your stomach flipped. "Yeah. I'm alright. Just waiting for my bad luck to run out."

"What happened?"

"What didn't happen?" You scoffed. "My fruit is all spoiled, my coffee maker broke, I spilled orange juice on my favourite white shirt, my car won't start, my bus wasn't running this morning, my Uber driver was a creep, I missed my meeting, I almost missed our reservations, I lost my ID badge and... she-who-must-not-be-named called."

Natasha's eyes darkened, her hand gripped yours tighter, and her gaze moved to meet yours. You took a chance and swiped your thumb over the back of her hand to try and get her to ease the tension out of her muscles. It seemed to work, as she relaxed a little. Her shoulders moved back down, the crease in her eyebrow lessened, she loosened her grip on your hand and exhaled carefully. She nodded in thanks, green eyes once against soft and gentle as she searched your eyes. You knew she was looking for any hint of you being upset. You weren't, though. You were with her.

Natasha hated your ex-girlfriend about a hundred times more than you did. She'd begged you to let her sneak over to her house at night and slash her tires and egg her house. You'd given that a firm no, not wanting Nat to get in any sort of trouble. It was Natasha's idea to never speak her name again, and to burn a bunch of photos and clothes that were left behind at your house. She'd gone so far as to have the bench you'd once carved your names into removed from the park and replaced with a brand new one... on Tony's Starks card, of course.

"What did she want?"

"Dunno. I told her I was busy," you actually laughed a little for the first time that day. "It wasn't exactly a lie. I was swamped today."

"Hey, if Fury is overworking you, I'll kick his ass."

Imagining Natasha kicking Nicholas Fury's ass was utterly amusing. You had no doubt she could, but Fury was a force. She'd kick his ass and the next day half of S.H.I.E.L.D. would be at her doorstep to retaliate. But he was a good boss. It wasn't his fault you'd procrastinated your own work for days. That was on you, and you knew it. So, you shook your head no, he wasn't overworking you. She seemed satisfied by that, but the topic of your ex wasn't dropped yet.

"Next time she calls you can direct her straight to me."

"Tasha, you won't answer."

"Damn right I won't."

You laughed again. It brought a smile to her face too.

With that, you continued on down the street without another word of she-who-must-not-be-named. You had almost reached the restaurant where Natasha had left the reservations when you stepped on something that most definitely was not concrete. If Natasha hadn't had your hand, your leg sliding out from underneath you would have left you on your ass. She held tight to your hand, her other arm catching you around the waist. You had to force yourself from blushing red as a tomato.

You glanced down at what you'd stepped in and could have punched someone. The white paint that was being used on the storefront had spilled onto the sidewalk and of course, you'd stepped in it in your new, black shoes. You scraped the bottom of it off on the sidewalk, grumbling all the while. Natasha had let go of your hand when you'd tugged it away from her to wipe the excess paint on the side of your shoe onto the post of the 'no parking' sign next to you. It was still ruined, but at least you'd gotten enough off that you wouldn't stain the restaurant's floor.

"You weren't kidding with the bad luck, huh?"

You shook your head no. You motioned onward, though. She got the hint, and you closed the distance between you and the restaurant. You shifted your bag on your shoulder as you stepped in, hoping they wouldn't notice the wet paint you were tracking onto their floors. If you managed in and out without them seeing, you'd be alright. It was New York City. You were sure people had walked in with worse things on the underside of their shoes.

You watched Natasha closely as she gave her name for the reservation. You hated how the host eyed her even more than you hated how your Uber driver had eyed you this morning. You didn't want anyone to eye her like that. You wanted to be the only one allowed to look at her like that. You knew you weren't, though. You ripped your gaze away from where it had been travelling along her jawline just in time for the host to arrive and lead you to your table. You sat across from her, keeping your eyes down and you collected your thoughts.

"What are you having?"

When you looked up, her eyes were trained on you. Her eyes were your absolute favourite part of her. They always shone so brightly, and so clearly expressed whatever she was feeling. They sparkled like they could see into your very soul and were so deep you could get lost in them for hours. Even the colour was perfect. They were that amazing shade of green that had very quickly become your favourite colour. You often found you'd been staring into them for a little longer than what might be considered normal. Now was one of those times. You looked back down at the menu.

"I'm not sure. Definitely a drink," you hummed. "Though I might get poisoned."

She rolled her eyes. "I don't think your luck is so bad that your assassin will choose to poison you today."

No, because she would protect you from anything. She always had. You might have been a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent and perfectly capable of protecting yourself, but she was always stepping in front of you to defend you. You couldn't say you minded. You liked having her at your back. Some people had a physical location where they felt safe. You didn't. Natasha Romanoff was your safe place. When you were with her, you felt like nothing in the world could touch you. She wouldn't let anything hurt you, and you wouldn't let anything hurt her.

Soon enough the waitress was stepping up to your table and taking your order. You gave yours first, opting for a simple fettuccine alfredo. Natasha gave hers, unaware of the way you watched her lips moving as she talked. When the waitress left and she looked back to you, your eyes were cast toward the window, watching a young couple pass by, huddled close together in the cool March evening. When she called for your attention and you gave it immediately, looking over to her. She sipped her wine as you did.

"You said your car wouldn't start?" She said.

"Yeah. It keeps sputtering on and on."

"I'll drive you home and take a look at it tonight. I know a thing or two about cars."

It was a good thing she did, because you knew absolutely nothing about what was going on under the hood of the car. All you could think was that maybe the battery had died on you, but that wasn't possible. If you'd left the lights on, you would have been able to see it through the window in your bedroom the night previous, and you hadn't. There was no other reason the battery could have been drained. You'd driven the car yesterday from your house to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s New York location. You might not have known what the hell was wrong, but Natasha would figure it out in seconds. The thought of her bent over to study the underside of the hood made you shiver.

The image was pushed from your mind when the waitress returned with your food. She placed your pasta down in front of you and you thanked her politely. She set Natasha's down as well. The redhead smiled widely and after double-checking that everything was alright, the server left the two of you to your dinner. Natasha glanced up at you, a very amused smile playing on her lips. You knew exactly what it was about, too. You'd gotten the wrong order and said absolutely nothing of it. Honestly, you didn't really care. At this point in the day, you just wanted to eat.

"You could've said something," Natasha teased.

"It's nothing. I'm hungry and this is just as good."

"We can still say something."

"It's fine," you assured.

"Let's stop and buy you a couple hundred good luck charms on the way back to your place."

You laughed aloud.

Dinner was good, despite having gotten the wrong order. You suspected that was due to Natasha's presence. The two of you had been exchanging stores of the craziest missions you'd ever gone on. Of course, she was winning. She was an Avenger. Your missions as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent were anything but boring, but they didn't compare to the alien invasion last year that Natasha had been at the heart of. You'd been helping from the edges of the city, evacuating civilians and the like, but you suspected she'd killed hundred more of the Chitauri than you did: one.

Before long you'd both finished, and the empty plates were cleared away. The server returned to you with the bill. You made sure your card was out before Natasha could even think about trying to pay. They collected your card, and you gave Natasha a very smug little smirk. She only rolled her eyes and thanked you softly. You thought all was said and done when the server returned. You prepared to leave but she shook her head, signalling you to stop what you were doing. She reached out, handing you your card back. You took it.

"I'm afraid the transaction isn't going through."

It seemed that your bad luck had struck again. You were fully confident that there was enough money in your account. There had been last night when you'd checked it, anyway. Either you'd had the misfortune of your card deciding to kick the bucket while you tried to buy dinner for Natasha, or even worse, someone had gotten into your bank account and cleared it out. That thought made your heart drop into your stomach as you reached for your phone, hardly noticing Natasha pulling out her own credit card this time.

You prayed for one tiny bit of luck today. Your prayers went unanswered. You logged into your online banking to find that someone had managed to get your credit card number and had been online shopping all day. Your card had long hit its limit and you were already dreading the phone call you were about to have with the bank. You huffed as you set your phone down roughly on the tabletop. Natasha glanced over at you as the server took her card this time. She raised an eyebrow. You were sure smoke was billowing from your ears.

"Luck isn't turning yet?"

You didn't answer that. "Thanks for dinner, Natasha."

She laughed. When the server returned her card and wished you both a good evening, she took your hand and dragged you back out the doors onto the noisy streets of New York. She was leading you back to S.H.I.E.L.D., where you knew she must have left her bike. When you got there, she scanned her ID and brought you both down into the parking garage. She brought you right to the motorbike and lifted the helmet off from where it was hanging on the handlebars. She reached out and set it on your head, doing it up underneath your chin. Her fingers brushed your skin as she worked at the straps.

"Normally I would never condone riding without a helmet, but I only have one. This head," she said, rapping her knuckles twice against the helmet on your head. "Is much more important than mine."

"Is not," you laughed. "There's hundreds of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents, but there's only six Avengers."

"And there's only one you," she insisted. "The helmet stays on that pretty little head of yours, and that's final."

That compliment seemed to awaken the butterflies in your stomach. They were still present when you both climbed onto the bike. They fluttered even more when Natasha told you to put your arms around her and hold tight. You could have stayed like this forever if she'd asked you to. You almost wanted her to ask you to, because you loved the ways your arms fit perfectly around her waist. Facing forward, she wasn't able to see the smile that was growing on your lips. Maybe all that bad luck was to make up for this.

Reluctantly, you took your arms off from around her when she pulled into your driveway. She put the kickstand down and took the helmet once you'd pulled it off and handed it back to her. You straightened out your hair a little bit in the reflection of your car window. Wordlessly, Natasha had moved to the hood of your car and tapped on the red paint to get your attention. You unlocked the car and popped the hood for her. She unhooked the latch and lifted it up, studying the inside carefully. That scene you'd been picturing earlier was coming true before your eyes.

"Start the car for me?"

You nodded. You dropped your bag on the doorstep, digging through the pockets until your hand had closed around your car keys. You withdrew them by tugging on the dinosaur keychain that Natasha had once given you after winning it at the arcade, where you'd spent hours at all the different games. You slid into the front seat, turning on the car when Natasha gave you the thumbs up. The car sputtered loudly. Then it made a sound you might have mistaken for a gunshot. The backfire nearly made you jump out of your seat. You quickly got out.

"You alright, Nat?"

"I'm good," she nodded. She moved away from the car. "It's probably just your spark plugs. When's the last time you had them replaced?"

You raised an eyebrow. "Hell if I know. I drop it off for a tune-up and expect them to tune it up."

Natasha laughed. "I'll grab some tomorrow and replace them for you."

You nodded. You watched as she reached up and grabbed the hood of the car, closing it again. She rubbed her hands against her pants. You clicked a button on your car keys, locking the doors. The lights flashed to indicate that it was indeed secured. You fiddled with the keys in your hand to get the house key out, opening your mouth to invite Natasha in as well, but found you couldn't find the golden key. You growled at nothing and dug through every pocket in your bag to see if it had fallen off in there, but there was no trace of it.

"My house key is missing."

Natasha actually laughed at this. "Did you walk under a ladder this morning? Spill the salt? Break a mirror?"

You glared at her. "Can you help me get in through a window?"

She nodded. You both moved around to one of the windows that you'd left open last night, after telling her you weren't sure you had locked it when you shut it this morning. Indeed, she found that once you'd removed the screen, she was able to slide the window open. You linked your fingers together to make a spot for Natasha to use for leverage. You boosted her through the open window and then moved back to the front door just as you heard the deadbolt slide out of place.

"My hero," you grinned as she opened the door. "I owe you a drink. Come on."

"I still have to drive home."

"Stay the night," you offered. "If you don't, I could very well just get murdered tonight."

Natasha laughed. "Well, I'd better stay and make sure you're okay, then."

You smacked her gently. She knew her way around your small bungalow well, having visited what could have easily been a million times. She made herself at home on the couch, tossing her leather jacket beside her. You moved into the kitchen, only paying half a glance at the towels you'd thrown over the two spilled beverages. You poured the both of you a drink and then brought them into the living room, kicking back on the couch beside her. You grabbed the remote, clicking the TV on. The screen lit up the room. Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed the beautiful face beside you that had been illuminated. You turned back to the screen.

"I can put Netflix on," you said, pressing a button. "What do you want to watch?"

"Can I test your luck?"

"What?" You responded, turning your full attention to her.

She didn't offer an explanation. You felt her hand touch your thigh. Your breath hitched and the remote almost fell to the floor. You managed to set it down on the table as your cheeks began to burn red. She left her hand there for a few seconds before it slid away, letting you take a moment to remember how to breathe. Her hand moved away and wrapped around her glass. You knew how obvious you were being when you watched her touch the rim to her lips and the slight movements in her neck as she swallowed the alcohol. You needed a drink too, but you were frozen.

"I just mean... I could either turn your luck around or just maintain the bad luck."

You still didn't know what she meant. She was setting her glass down on the coffee table. Her eyes searched yours and you were once again tossed into the sea of green that you were so obsessed with. When she leaned forward and connected your lips, though, you lost sight of emerald green. Her eyes had shut and only a second later, yours had fluttered shut as well. You put a hand on the back of her neck to hold her closer and moved your lips with hers. You wondered briefly if you were dreaming. You didn't have long with your thoughts. Your mind was so overcome with whatever was happening right now.

Natasha pulled back. Her hand had, at some point, moved back onto your thigh, and was resting there gently. Your hand moved to cover it. She flipped hers over so that her fingers could intertwine with yours and for the first time, it didn't feel like it was just in a friendly manner. It felt so much more than that, just liked you'd wanted it to. Your eyes moved from there up to her face. She had been studying you intently. You'd never seen Natasha Romanoff look nervous. Not until that very moment. You chuckled a little, nervousness in your chest as well, and let your eyes fall.

"You definitely turned it," was all you said.

"Yeah?"

"By a long shot. I mean, I think this amount of good luck was enough to actually balance out the bad luck."

You didn't know Natasha could giggle, but she did. The sound made a smile immediately spread over your face. You reached out and took her hands in your own. You leaned forward and kissed her again, infatuated with the feeling of her soft lips pressed against yours so rough and yet somehow so soft. One of your hands pulled out of hers so it could thread through the red waves on her head. You'd wanted to do that for so long. She only pulled back when you'd both lost your breath. Your forehead rested against hers and you could smell the whiskey on her breath.

"Do you know how long I've wanted that?" You breathed.

"I'd guessed it, but I thought it was just my imagination because I wanted the same thing."

You laughed. She put her hands on your shoulders, pushing your back down against the couch and then putting her knees on either side of your waist. Her lips were on yours again, a little hotter this time. You didn't complain. You just let her lean down over you and kiss you and run her hand down your side. You only raised a hand to her chest and pushed her away when you once more felt the need for oxygen burning inside your chest. She didn't move far, face inches from yours, studying you this time from above. You blushed under her gaze.

"I... I've felt really strongly about you for a while," you said, hand moving so you could trace your fingertips across her cheek. "You know what I mean?"

"Are you trying to tell me you love me without saying you love me?" She asked, the teasing back in her voice again. "Because you're not going to scare me off. You can say it if you want."

"I love you, Natasha."

"I love you, too."

You couldn't help but laugh. It wasn't funny in any way, but maybe it was the relief trying to find a way out of your body. The sound seemed to make Natasha's eyes, sparkle. Your heart softened and the laughter fell from your lips and you didn't move a muscle. Her face was so beautiful looking down at you like it was. You felt so right having her touch you like this and touching her the way you were. Her hands were holding her torso up above yours and yours were touching her face so gently. It wasn't like a friend touched a friend anymore.

"Thanks for turning my luck."

"Are you kidding me? I'm the lucky one."

"I think we're both really fucking lucky, Natasha. Thank you."

[derekmorganscrocs]

Last Summer: Ace x Reader (OneShot)

Here’s an adorable Ace gif for you because I love him.

Word Count: 2, 064

Summary: You and Ace are best friends but it turns into something more.

Quick Note: This is the first thing I’ve written that I’ve fully finished and am posting so I’m like freakin our right now. Also this isn’t my usual style but I’m super happy with how it turned out and I hope you (anyone who reads this) likes it! I’m considering a series but I also have several other things in the works, so it might not be soon. Anyways, let’s get this show on the road!

Ace and Y/n. Best friends since they could walk. Inseparable through elementary, middle, and high school. Where do we start?

To be honest, there’s not a lot to explain. You and Ace kind of just... were. It made sense. Best friends, always had the other’s back. You both work at the Claw, you’re both a little burnt out and worn down, but still clever and funny. Everything always made sense.

You always joke, laugh, and do stupid shit together. You’ve bailed him out of trouble more times than you can count. He’s done the same for you. He’s your favourite person, you’re his.

And you’ve been in love with each other forever. Except neither one of you can tell that the other loves you back. So we’re at a roadblock.

You got weird when Ace dated Laura back in the day.

Ace got weird when you dated James, the biker dude in high school.

You got weird when Ace started crushing on Bess.

Ace got weird when you mentioned that Ryan Hudson was hot in a douchebag kind of way.

Summer was different though. Had you known it’d be your last summer before you spotted Dead Lucy, saw Tiffany Hudson’s ghost, were introduced to the spirit world, and started doing seances and rituals every other day, you may have appreciated it more. But oh well, right?

Not right. The start of summer was when you started realizing you couldn’t go on the way you were, but that you also couldn’t live without Ace. So how do you confess? You don’t.

A couple weeks go by before you start to notice the way Ace looks at you, how he always stands just a little closer than anyone else does. How he puts himself between you and the guys that ogle you as the two of you walk to the pier. The way his jaw clenches when someone cute hits on you. His hand always right beside yours, and you wonder if he gets the urge to grab your hand like you do his.

And by the end of June, you’re this weird something. Not just friends, you’ve both seen the way the other stares. But it’s unspoken. You don’t know if you can bring yourself to tell him. He doesn’t know if he can bear the risk of losing you.

Don’t get it twisted, despite the buried feelings you and Ace are the best pair of best friends anyone in Horseshoe Bay has ever seen. Constantly laughing and cracking jokes, seeing who can get more tips in a day. Ace is always the one you turn to, you’re the one Ace turns to. For pretty much anything.

When July rolls around, you both get more time off. The fourth comes quickly, and you make plans to watch the fireworks from the roof of the claw. Upon climbing up at sunset, you decide to just hang out for a few hours until it’s actually time for the fireworks. You talk and joke, and you and Ace carve your initials into one of the shingles. Laying against the shingles, he only carves an A, and you ask if you’ll ever find out what his last name is.

“Maybe when you take it.”

Those are the five words that change everything. He looks up from his knife, startled at his own words. You’re frozen in place as the sky finally reaches its full darkness. And the first boom grabs your attention. You look over in the direction of the beach, and see red sparkles in the sky. Turning back, Ace is sitting up now, both of you still shell-shocked at his joke. Was it a joke?

His knife is long gone, tucked safely in his pocket, and he grabs your face and kisses you. You kiss him back, obviously. He kisses you passionately, slowly but strongly, and fireworks erupt. Both metaphorically and literally. You both end up laying side by side on the roof, kissing and watching the fireworks. It��s the best night ever.

But it’s never made official. There’s still no blurted out confessions, and it never happens again. His eyes still dart to your lips when you speak to him, you still imagine his arms around your waist, and you both still stare longingly at the other whenever their back is turned.

Until August rolls around, a month filled with storms and fog. And death. Ryan Hudson and his goons pull up for dinner. You and Ace serve them when all the others bail, make jokes about insufferable rich people and stare at each other’s mouths, both trying to not get caught as you wish you could just have what you want.

Then the lights go out. Screaming outside from Nancy, and Tiffany Hudson is dead. You and Ace are pretty much free to go, alibis confirmed. The next day Nancy comes to you with evidence that Tiffany Hudson was killed by Lucy Sable. Dead Lucy. Oh god.

The case unfolds and you’re wrapped up in a supernatural mystery. All the while trying to figure out your very natural mystery. What the hell is going on between you and Ace? It’s normal but not, and you don’t want to lose him, but you can feel the drift starting. It’s so uncertain. For once in your life, nothing makes sense.

You cover well though. Burying your feelings is a lot easier than it should be, and you and Ace still joke and pull stupid shit all the time. George and Bess are tired of being caught in the crossfire of your pranks, Nancy would be, but the only time she’s actually noticed anything is when you shot her with a nerf gun because Ace dodged. Nick, the guy from the garage, makes his way into your crew, and takes immense amusement from you and Ace. It’s fine. Great, even.

Then in September, after Tiffany Hudson’s funeral, you go to the Claw to talk to Ace. But he’s beyond talking. He’s got his tongue in Laura Tandy’s throat. And you knew she was back in town, hell, that’s what pushed you to finally talk to Ace. Only you’re too late. You’ve wasted the summer, your summer, being afraid of losing him. Just to lose him anyways.

So you spend a miserable month pretending you’re fine and fake gagging every time him and Laura have their backs turned on you. You bitch to Bess, who’s all too keen on the drama. Nancy’s so wrapped up in the paranormal and her own love life that she’s barely bothered to notice that you’re drowning. George on the other hand... she’s supportive. Well as supportive as George can be. Mostly threatening Laura and saying she’ll fire Ace if you want her to. But you can’t do that. He may only be a dishwasher at the Claw, but he loves it. He loves being part of the team.

And then you walk in on Laura asking Ace to go to Paris with her. You nearly lose it, but manage to keep it together, hiding around the corner with a hand clamped over your mouth as tears threaten to finally spill free. When they’re out of sight, you call Bess, then George, then Nancy, all to no avail. And so you’re hyperventilating and alone, sitting on the front porch of the Claw when Nick swoops in to save you.

Of course it was Nick. The only one who doesn’t know about the whole mess with Ace. So he makes you explain and watches in horror as you refuse to let tears fall and successfully convince yourself to just not be sad. Over the next few days he turns into a brotherly figure, managing to help you realize that feelings are okay to have.

So the garage is your new hangout, and you don’t realize that Ace is actually missing you. Because the only one he wants to ask about going to France was you. Nick sends you back to work on the fourth day, you don’t want to go but he forces you. He says ‘mixing shitty Caesars is the best remedy for any amount of pain.’ It’s the first time he’d seen you laugh in a while. Actually, the first time you’d laughed in a while.

The first person you see when you walk in the diner, of course, was Ace. Sitting at the bar, staring into the wall’s soul. You manage a quiet ‘hey’, and when he turns to see you looking mostly back to normal, he nearly tackles you into a hug. He manages to restrain himself though, not sure what to do. You two never fight. Is this even a fight? How do you make up from a not-fight-fight? Instead he asks you to sit with him. You do, reluctantly, but only because he insists and you can never say no to him.

“Say the word and I’ll stay. Say you want me here and I won’t go.”

And there he goes, changing everything again. You freeze, just like on the Fourth of July, and stare at him in shock. This time though, he isn’t surprised, it’s just you who’s shell-shocked. It takes you a while to understand that he is actually saying what he’s saying, and you kind of just stare at him for a minute. Then you make your decision.

“I can’t tell you what to do. You need to make this call on your own.”

And then, you mix Caesars. And more Caesars, and more Caesars. The restaurant could be supplied for a week if it weren’t a festival day. You would’ve kept going, but what’s left in the bottom of the vodka bottle looked pretty delicious, so you down it instead. Still mostly sober, but tipsy enough to manage a smile, you patted George on the back and said goodbye before heading to the garage.

Nick makes you crash on his couch in the loft, and after a power nap and a glass of water you’re back to completely sober. Good as new. The only thing that’s missing is... your phone. You left it at the Claw earlier. Which means you have to go back. And probably see Ace again.

So back you go. You get the phone without running into anyone, but pause at the sound of voices in the dining area. Frozen in the kitchen, you watch as Ace tells Laura he’s staying. That he has a ‘purpose here. And a person.’ She tells him to miss her, which gives you mixed vibes, and leaves.

“Ace?”

“Jesus! Oh, Y/n! You’re-you’re here. Oh that’s great, you saw that. How much did you hear?”

“That you have a purpose here. And a person.”

A smile finally appears on your lips, and he reciprocates. You walk into the dining room, toward Ace. He watches your every move intently, as if he’s entranced with you. He is, because he hasn’t seen you smile since Laura came to town. And even though he’s been playing it happy, he’s been miserable. He loves Laura, he really does, but it’s more of the ‘maybe in another world’ kind of relationship.

You and Ace. That’s the ‘perfectly perfect, made for each other, soulmates, in any world’ type of relationship. Best friends to something more, with ups and down. Real. Not some whisk you off to Paris and live in a movie. Horseshoe Bay’s ugly, scary, haunted, real life.

Sitting on a barstool, back to the kitchen, you lean against the bar and look at Ace. You think about what to say. There’s so many things you could do. That you want to do.

Slap him.

Kiss him.

Throw him off the roof.

Hug him until he has to peel you off of him.

Throw a bottle at his head.

Jump into his arms, wrap your legs around his waist and stay there forever.

Stick Lucy on him to suck out his soul.

Kiss him until you run out of air.

Maybe you’ll say something instead. There’s lots of things you could say, but you’re not sure how many of them are true.

Did he really betray you by seeing Laura?

Are you grateful for this because you met Nick and gained a brother?

What would’ve happened if Laura never showed?

Are we still us?

Instead, you decide to go with something you know is the truth.

“I’m your person.”

And he smiles like he’s won the lottery.

Tags: @vexfulfun

[after-avenging-hours]

Out of Time [1]: Steve x Reader

Series Masterlist

Summary:  After Steve gets injected with a mysterious substance during a mission gone wrong, you come to find out that the only thing that can save his life is a pure sample of Dr. Erskine’s Super Soldier Serum. Unwilling to let the love of your life die without a fighting chance, you travel through the quantum realm back to 1943. Equipped with little more than your knowledge of past events, you have to figure out just how exactly you’re going to get your hands on that serum. Not only that, but with the infinity stones no longer protecting the reality you’ve come from, there is now a chance that your presence in the past can change the future you’ll return to. Can you succeed without messing things up? And if things go wrong, can you fix it before it’s too late? Or will you run out of time…

Word Count: 5565

Warnings: Canon typical violence, time travel, injury of major characters

You don’t know how it went so wrong. You’d been on a mission with the team. A few former SHIELD scientists that were suspected to have been working under the influence of Hydra had been spotted in the same vicinity, raising several red flags. After a few days of recon, you’d managed to track down the location of their lab. When the team had busted the door in, ready to take them down, they’d already been expecting you.

The place was full of hired mercenaries and ex-members of the SHIELD Strike team. They’d put up quite a fight. Sam, Clint, and Wanda held down the ground floor while you and Steve had made your way to the upper level. Two agents held you off in close combat while six others took on Steve at the same time. Even six to one, they were having a hard time restraining the Super Soldier, but they managed to keep him pinned just long enough to allow one of the scientists to inject him in the neck with some type of black substance.

“No!” you scream, turning absolutely feral. Throwing caution to the wind, you mercilessly take on the two agents fighting you and they soon end up on the floor.

As Steve falls to his knees, the six other agents grab the scientists and leave out the back door. You rush forward and drop down, skidding across the floor to catch Steve by the shoulders before he can faceplant into the floor.

“Steve!” you call desperately. “Steve, look at me!” Your hands grip his face, trying to guide his eyes to yours, but they’ve turned hazy and unfocused. Perspiration has begun to collect on his brow and the veins at the injection site on his neck have started to turn black.

You lift a hand to activate the commlink in your ear. “Requesting immediate evac. The Captain is down. I repeat, Captain America is down.”

The rest of the team rendezvous to your location and it takes all of you to get Steve out of there and onto the Quinjet. You grab a tablet and bring up the life sign readings programmed into his suit. You watch with dread as his heartbeat wildly fluctuates between too high and too low, while his body temperature continually climbs.

As soon as the jet has landed back at the Avengers base, he’s carted off to the infirmary, where Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho are already waiting for him. You pace up and down the hallway, unable to rest or step away for even a moment to change out of your uniform. Your stomach is tied up in knots and you can’t get the image out of your head on how his face just went completely blank as soon as they had injected him.

You halt your movements and look up when the door opens and Bruce steps out. Seeing Bruce’s face on the Hulk’s massive body was still a little unsettling, but you have started to grow used to it.

“How is he? Is he okay?” you rush out.

Bruce’s poker face is terrible as he pulls off his glasses and fails to meet your gaze. “He’s stable for now… but no, he’s not okay.”

You cup a hand to your mouth and release a pained whimper. “What-” your voice breaks and you have to clear your throat before you can try again. “Do you know what they injected him with?”

“From what we can tell, it seems to be some sort of anti-serum venom. It was made to specifically target the Super Soldier serum enhancement in Steve’s cells.”

You feel the dread sink like a weight in your stomach. “What can we do to stop it?”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out. Wanda grabbed the syringe from the Hydra lab, so we have a small sample of the anti-serum for analysis. But without a pure sample of Steve’s Super Soldier serum, it could take months to synthesize a cure. And he doesn’t have that long.”

The lump in your throat grows and it becomes difficult to swallow. “How long does he have?” you almost don’t want to ask.

You see the answer in his eyes. “This anti-serum… it’s aggressive-”

“Bruce,” you cut him off, urgency in your gaze. “How long?”

“A few days… maybe a week.”

Your whole body blanches and you stumble a few steps until your back hits the wall. The thought alone was inconceivable. Steve… Your Steve… Gone in less than a week? Haven’t you both been through enough? You shake your head fervently, straightening your spine and pushing off the wall. “No,” you deny, allowing your anger and frustration to bolster your strength.

“Hey…” Bruce attempts to reach out to you.

“No!” you coil back. “No, I won’t let that happen.”

“We will do everything we can, but without the original serum-”

“Then I’ll get it for you,” you state with finality to your tone, a plan already forming in your mind.

Bruce looks at you, perplexed. “How?”

Instead of responding, you turn on your heel and march down the hallway. Pulling out your phone, you bring up your contacts and dial the number you need. You’re talking as soon as the line picks up. “Hey Scott, remember that favor you owe me?”

--

It takes a full day of preparation before things are ready. You grow even more anxious with every minute that passes. Every single tick of the clock is one less second Steve has to live.

Seeing him in the infirmary had nearly broken you. Dr. Banner and Dr. Cho were keeping him sedated to help slow the spread of the anti-serum, but the damage was already beginning to take its toll. It was working its way through his body like a poison, starting in the bloodstream, but if left untreated, his organs would begin to fail systematically. Normally, Steve’s Super Soldier serum would help defend his body from something like this, allowing him to metabolize it out before it could do any harm. But, somehow those Hydra scientists found a way to target the original serum first, to weaken his body’s defenses and let the venom take over. It must have taken them years of research to develop something like this and you only had days to reverse it.

You had never seen the Super Soldier look so weak and sickly. He had lost all color, his skin pale and beginning to verge into an ashen grey. He looked thinner like he had been bedridden for weeks, not just a day. His cheeks were gaunt and dark bags had appeared beneath his eyes. When you reached out to touch his hand, it was deathly cold and your heart had skipped a beat. You didn’t understand how this could be happening so fast to the strongest man you had ever known.

You’d pushed the hair off his forehead; no longer a shiny blonde, but more of a dull straw color; and pressed your lips to his skin. “You’ve come to my rescue so many times, Steve. It’s time for me to return the favor. Please, hold on, just a little longer, until I get back.” You then place a gentle kiss to his lips, a single tear dropping from your eye and landing on his cheek. You wipe at the wet trail with your thumb before you step back and release a shaking breath. “I will make it back,” you promise both to him and to yourself.

--

“Are you sure you don’t want me to come?” Bucky asks, helping you in to your quantum suit.

It’s good that most of his memories were back. He was your best source of information for getting the correct dates, times, and places so you could successfully accomplish your task. Not only that, but you had needed a quick and dirty rundown on etiquette, behavior, and style for the time period. It felt like you had enough bobby pins and hair spray to keep your hair as still as a plastic doll. Not to mention the signature red painting your lips.

“You can’t,” Bruce speaks up from where he stands behind the console for the platform. “The infinity stones were the only thing holding our reality together when we time traveled the last time. Those stones no longer exist in this reality. Since she isn’t coming back with them either, there may be repercussions from this. She should go alone because she doesn’t already exist in that timeline.”

“I’ll be okay, Bucky,” you give him a tentative smile, unsure if you’re telling the truth.

Based on the look in his eyes, you know he’s reading you easily. He gives your arm a squeeze in reassurance. “Stay out of trouble. The punk will kill me if anything happens to you.”

You nod and begin to step away, heading for the platform. You shift on your feet, mentally psyching yourself up for the journey. You release a long breath before signaling to Bruce that you’re ready. You meet Bucky’s gaze one last time. “Be right back,” you tell him before your helmet pops into place and you’re flying through the quantum realm.

--

You land in 1943 without much fuss, quickly dissolving out of your quantum suit before anyone catches you in the empty alleyway. You fix any flyaway hairs and straighten your outfit and then walk out onto the main street. It’s a bit of a trip, seeing all the old-fashioned cars driving past and the dated outfits and hairstyles that everyone wears. The movies and pictures that you’ve grown up seeing don’t quite do it justice. However, it does remind you of the sketches Steve sometimes shared with you whenever he was feeling nostalgic.

You give yourself a second to marvel at everything, but the thought of Steve helps to sharpen your focus and bring yourself back on track. You step onto the sidewalk, behind a group of young school children with their mothers in tow. Walking passed a newspaper stand; you take a quick glance at the paper to make sure you’ve landed at the correct time. Monday, June 7th, 1943.

Breathing a breath of relief, you move to the edge of the sidewalk and hail a taxi. Soft, jazzy notes fill the air of the car from the radio, helping to ease the tension in your shoulders. The song is also familiar to you, because of Steve. You give the driver the address to your destination and soon find yourself pulling up in front of Brooklyn Antiques. You pay for the taxi with a set of vintage coins you’d been able to acquire before leaving your time. You shuffle out of the taxi and head into the shop.

The bell above the door dings and you enter the space. An older woman in a soft pink sweater steps out from the backroom to greet you. “Did you hear the ball game last night?”

Your mind races as you try to recall the answer to the code that Bucky had told you about. They would change them daily and randomly rotate through a long list of them. “Yes, but I only wish I had some Cracker Jacks,” you respond.

She nods once before moving behind the cashier desk and presses the secret button beneath. You try to steady your pounding heart as you walk to the back room and stand in front of the bookshelves. After a moment, the shelves begin to move to reveal a set of hidden doors. You roll your shoulders back and walk with confidence into the hidden laboratory.

The energy in this place buzzes like a beehive. The tan military uniform you wear allows you to blend with everyone else. People give you a casual side glance before turning back to what they had previously been doing. As you walk down the hallway toward the main room, the sound of raised voices grabs your attention.

“You’ve had more than enough test runs! Stark’s machine works. Your formula is ready for development. All that’s left is the man.”

Looking to your left, you see that it’s Colonel Phillips and Dr. Erskine that are arguing inside the observation room. Dr. Erskine shakes his head, with an exasperated look on his face. “But it can’t be just any man, it has to be the right man!”

“We’ve been at this for months! Week after week, we run training exercises on a new group at Camp Lehigh, and you’ve denied every single one! Do you realize how much money this has cost us? We have to pay the scouts that send men our way. Gotta pay the buses that bring ‘em to the camp. Lodging, food, uniforms, supplies. Enough is enough. You have one week to find your man for the next round of recruitments. If you can’t find him. Then you’ll have to pick from the rest of the selection. We cannot afford to wait any longer.”

With the final word, Colonel Phillips turns and walks out of the observation room. You make sure to step back and out of his way, ducking your head slightly, so as not to draw attention to yourself. You look back up when you hear Dr. Erskine give a long drawn out sigh. He has removed his glasses and rubs at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger.

You find yourself moving forward and into the room. “Is everything all right, Doctor?” you question with a gentle voice.

He moves his glasses back into place and meets your gaze. “Not quite.” He admits, his accent a little thicker with stress in his voice. “Unless you have an idea on where we might be able to find someone actually worthy of this project.”

Your lips part as you try to come up with a response to that. “Well… Um. I’m sure the World Expo will bring all sorts of new faces in.” You cringe inwardly a little, thinking that may have been too obvious. Bruce’s words of warning echo in your ears. Get in, get out, don’t change the timeline.

Erskine’s eyes light up at that prospect. “The World Exposition? Of course. That is a wonderful idea. Stark mentioned that there was a recruitment center there. Come, let’s go take a look.”

He begins to head for the doorway and gestures for you to step through first. You hesitate. “You want me to come with you?”

He smiles kindly. “Well, it was your idea, was it not?”

So much for 'get in and get out'. Although, this could be a good thing. After all, Erskine was your ticket to the serum. Another second passes, and then you begin to move out of the observation room. You look down at the machine in the main room, knowing that one day soon, it will be used to create a Super Soldier. Erskine follows you out before taking the lead and moving toward the exit. He pulls off his lab coat and stops at a coat rack off to the side. He swaps the lab coat for a beige trench coat and his fedora.

The MP sitting at the desk right next to the secret entrance hits the button to allow you both to exit. Erskine leads you out of the antique shop and over to one of the vehicles parked nearby. The driver is already sitting in the front seat. Erskine opens the back door and gestures once more for you to enter first. You give him your thanks as you sink into the leather seat, then push over to the other side to make room for him to follow you.

Dr. Erskine gives his instructions to the driver to take you to the Expo.

You relax your posture into the cushioned seat and watch 1943 New York pass by the window.

“So, you are new,” Dr. Erskine states casually, also looking out through the window on his side of the car.

Your shoulders stiffen and your heart stops. “I…” you begin to protest before changing tactics. You laugh nervously and glance over at him. “Is it that obvious?”

He continues to look out his window as he responds. “In all the months we have been working on this project, no one has ever asked me how I am doing.” He turns away from the window then and meets your gaze.

Your own gaze softens with sincerity. “That sounds lonely.”

He tilts his head and lifts his shoulders in a slight shrug. “This is the bed that I have made. Great things can happen if my serum is used properly, but many terrible things have already come to pass.”

You know that he is talking about Red Skull. “We will find the man you need, Doctor,” you assure him.

He looks at you curiously. “How is it you sound so sure of that?”

You swallow and try not to look like a deer caught in a headlight. “I have faith,” you manage to get out.

He cracks a small smile. “Faith,” he repeats, before he releases a low chuckle. “I’m afraid as a scientist, I may need a little more than that.”

You find yourself smiling back. “Then perhaps I can try to muster enough faith for the both of us.”

“That would be appreciated,” he responds right as the car pulls to a stop. He steps out of the vehicle first before turning and reaching to take your hand to help you to your feet.

“Oh wow…” you marvel as you take in the sights of the Expo before you.

The giant metal sculpture of the globe looms over everything, casting its shadow over the crowds as people hurry passed in excited groups, eager to see the exhibits. A monorail train curls around the globe and zooms past in a rush of metallic sound.

“You have not yet seen the Exposition?” Dr. Erskine asks curiously.

You find it difficult to pull your eyes away from the sights. “I haven’t had the time,” you speak honestly.

“I heard that several of the soldiers were planning to take the other women to Stark’s show this weekend. I’m sure you could join them.” He speaks casually as he begins to head for the recruitment station.

“Those men don’t interest me.” You follow behind, looking around as you do.

Dr. Erskine grins to himself. “Fair enough.”

The two of you continue on your way. Before you can make it inside the building, though, a voice calls out “Dr. Erskine!”

A man in an expensive-looking suit walks up to you both. He has dark hair, a thin mustache, and a dashing smile. A smile with confidence that you recognize.

“Mr. Stark,” the Doctor greets, shaking his hand.

“What brings you all the way out here? I thought you never left your lab, save for heading out to Camp Lehigh. And who is this?” Howard’s eyes trace down the length of your body, an appreciation settling into his features.

You raise a brow, barely able to contain your amusement between this Stark and the one you’ve known. “She’s not interested,” you reply bluntly.

Erskine laughs while Stark’s lips part in momentary shock. With a shake of his head, he shrugs off the rejection and his lips return to a charming grin. “Where are you and Phillips finding these girls? First Agent Carter, now this one?”

“You were commissioned for the head on your shoulders, Mr. Stark. The females working on this project should be of no concern to you.” The somewhat harsh blow of Erskine’s words is softened by the smile of amusement on his face.

Howard doesn’t take it to heart, laughing as well. “I understand. Well, can I at least show you both around?”

“We are actually here to observe the recruitment station. The Colonel has given us a week to find our man. We were hoping the selection here might provide something new.”

“Ah,” Howard remarks. “Well then, I won’t keep you. Feel free to stop by the Modern Marvel’s Pavilion. Perhaps we can all grab lunch.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark,” Erskine neither confirms nor denies the invitation and ushers you into the recruitment center.

“He’s certainly a handful,” you comment, no longer able to hold your amusement.

Erskine releases a long sigh. “Sometimes it is a wonder that he can get anything accomplished. His mind is brilliant, but he can be easily distracted. Though, I am starting to wonder… if not even the great Howard Stark can hold your interest, I am fascinated to find out the man that will.”

You can’t help but laugh at that. “Maybe you will meet him one day.”

Dr. Erskine speaks with the head physician of the recruitment office, establishing a protocol for directing prospective enlisters his way for additional questioning. He then gives you instructions on the qualities he is looking for, so you can also help to keep an eye out with him.

You spend the day interviewing enlisters. You pretend to be invested, but know that none of them are going to be the correct one. Steve isn’t supposed to show up to this recruitment center until this weekend after Stark’s big show. You had planned to drop into the timeline several days before his recruitment, in case you needed the extra time to get your hands on a sample of serum. Your first day wasn’t quite going as expected, but it could be worse.

Erskine comes to collect you at the end of the day to see how your interviews have been going. When he offers for you to join him for dinner, you readily agree, only then realizing how hungry you are. The two of you walk away from the crowds of the Expo and back into the city.

You find a small family-owned diner to grab a quick bite to eat. Getting seated at a booth near the windows, you watch the people pass by while you wait for your food to come.

“My apologies for taking so long to ask, but I have come to realize that I do not know your name,” Dr. Erskine pulls your attention back to him.

“Oh,” you start. Realizing that you also had never introduced yourself. “Well, my friends call me Vic.”

“Friends?” he repeats with a raised brow.

You realize your mistake a little too late. As the head scientist of the SSR, he was technically considered your superior. It’s been so long since you’ve worked with a superior that wasn’t your friend. Also, with one that you weren’t sleeping with…

You clear your throat and try again. “What I mean is that I haven’t really gone by my given name in a long time. It almost feels foreign whenever I do hear it.”

Erskine looks at you curiously. “And this Vic name was given to you by your friends?”

“Yes,” you confirm, before growing a little shy. “It’s actually short for Lady Victory,” you explain, your face heating in embarrassment. You’ve never actually had to be the one explaining it to anyone.

“Lady Victory?” he repeats, both brows now raised in intrigue. “And how did you manage to earn that name?”

“Well,” you laugh lightly. “It started after a few successful rounds of poker.” That makes Erskine laugh as well. “But, once I started working in the field, the name stuck. I became a lucky charm of sorts. Everyone would say that there was no way we could fail as long as Lady Victory was on our side. And that held true, at least until…” Your voice falls away and your eyes grow hollow. At least until the last mission.

“You have been to the war front?”

You pull yourself out of your dark thoughts and focus back on the doctor. “No. Not this war, at least. But I have seen war. Up close. It’s never easy.”

Erskine nods in agreement. He sits quietly for a moment, considering your words. “Have you considered submitting yourself as a candidate for Project Rebirth?”

You had reached for your glass of water and taken a sip when he asked his question. You choke upon swallowing the drink. So much for not screwing up the timeline. You’re pretty sure this conversation was never supposed to happen. You set your glass back down and attempt to cough the water out from where it’s trying to reach your lungs.

“I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you. But I must admit, you do have several of the qualities I am looking for in a candidate.”

After you’ve managed to catch your breath, you try to figure out the best way out of this. “The offer is generous, but that’s not my destiny.”

“What happened to faith?” Dr. Erskine smiles cryptically.

“I have faith that we will find the right person. But I know that isn’t me.” You release a breath of relief when the waitress arrives with the food. “Besides, can you imagine the Colonel’s reaction if you were to tell him you had picked a woman for the project?”

Erskine shrugs his shoulder. “He has been making his threats for months, but he knows that I will not make the serum until we have a candidate that I approve of.”

You can actually hear the record scratch sound effect going off in your mind. “Wait, I thought the Colonel said your formula was ready.”

“The formula, yes. I have all the ingredients ready. But the serum itself must be used within hours of preparation or the components will begin to degrade. It is a side effect from some of the ingredients used, but also works as a failsafe, should anyone think that they could steal it.”

You try to keep your face neutral, but internally your heart is sinking. This means that you coming early was a wasted effort and your only shot at getting a sample of the serum would be the day they turn Steve into a Super Soldier. And not only that but if you did manage to get your hands on a sample, it could degrade before being of any use to Dr. Banner.

In an effort to keep the despair off your face, you steer the conversation away and start to dig into the food that you no longer feel hungry for. Dr. Erskine turns out to be fairly good company and enjoys regaling you with tales of his home in Germany. It helps to keep him talking, so you can mentally plan just how you’re going to make it through these next few weeks, stuck in 1943.

Erskine offers to cover the cost of dinner, which you agree to, but only if he will let you pay for the next meal. He seems caught off guard by your proposal but then agrees with a quiet chuckle. As you prepare to leave, he places his fedora back onto his head and folds his coat over his arm. He then holds the door open as you exit the diner.

You both walk down the sidewalk in the direction toward the expo, occasionally needing to move behind one another to make room for people heading in the other direction. A flash of movement catches your attention from across the street. You narrow your gaze at the two men walking in the same direction as you and Erskine. They are both wearing fairly nondescript outfits in dark, neutral tones. Also wearing fedoras that they use to shadow their eyes. You notice one has a camera in his hands.

You quicken your steps to match up with the doctor, then wrap your arm through his. He looks down at you slightly startled, but you don’t pay him any mind. “Darling, that dress is lovely. Why don’t we take a look inside?” You point toward the display of a boutique and quickly usher him into the shop.

“Miss Vic, we really should be heading back to the recruitment center,” Dr. Erskine begins to protest.

You hush him and pull him deeper into the shop. “We were being followed. I noticed those two men loitering outside the bar across the street when we were at the diner. They stayed the whole time and didn’t begin to move until we did.”

“Are you certain?” he questions, looking back, but you’ve already pulled him too far into the shop.

“I am. One of them pulled out a camera and was trying to take pictures of you.”

“Hello, how can I help you?” the shop attendant takes that moment to make herself known.

You put a sweet smile into your face. “Oh, I’m sorry. Do you have a back door? It seems we’ve gotten a little turned around and we’re actually supposed to be on the next street over.”

The woman looks at you curiously, “Oh, we do, but it leads to a back alley, not the main street.”

“That’s all right. I’m sure we’ll find our way. Thank you!” Before she can come up with a response, you’re pulling Erskine after you and out the back. You check to make sure the coast is clear, before dragging him out. You run as fast as you can in your heels down the back alley toward the next street. You stop just short of the alley opening and press your back into the brick wall. Peaking around the corner, you find that the men aren’t anywhere to be seen.

You step out with Erskine and quickly hail a taxi. Not conforming to societal rules, you yank open the back door and shove him into the seat. “Don’t head directly for the expo. Drive aimlessly first, check for any tails. If you don’t see any, stop and switch to a new taxi before heading back.”

“What are you going to do?” he questions, still thrown off by what’s happening.

“I’m going to make sure they won’t follow you.”

You quickly shut the door to the cab and bang on the top to send it off. You then duck back into the alley. You’re almost to the back entrance of the boutique when the two men come stumbling out.

“You boys lost?” you question with an innocent tone to your voice. The two take one look at you before looking around for your charge. “I’m afraid it’s just the three of us.”

“We ain’t got no beef with you, Toots,” one of the men states in a heavy Brooklyn accent.

Your innocent façade drops instantly. Darting forward, you grab the man by the lapel of his coat. You use his surprise against him to swing his whole body around and slam his back into the brick wall. Your movement knocks the wind out of him and you quickly pin your forearm to the base of his neck to keep him from being able to regain his breath. “Who you callin’ Toots?” you question with a deadly tone in your voice.

“Geez, lady!” The man chokes out, raising his hands in surrender.

“Back up, if you don’t want to get hurt!”

You look over your shoulder to find the other one has a pistol aimed at you. Rolling your eyes, you release the first one and step back, your own hands now up in surrender. In a flash, you whip your arm out, grasping the gun and kick your foot out, straight into his knee. His leg buckles from beneath him and he loosens his hold on the gun as he falls.

You take the weapon into your own hands, holding it over him, while he kneels at your feet. “I think you’ll find that it’s actually you who should be worried about getting hurt, Toots,” you tell him, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

You catch the movement of the man’s eyes and turn back toward his partner, just a moment too late. The sound of a gun firing echoes down the alley moments before pain explodes in your side.

You cry out, barely managing to keep your grip on your own gun as you stumble into the brick wall.

“You shot her?!” the one kneeling bellows.

“She had a gun to your head!” The other argues.

“Red Skull’s gonna kill us if he finds out we were caught!”

“Not if we finish her off,” the one that shot you once begins to turn.

Your hand shakes as you try to raise your gun back up to defend yourself.

“Hey! Get away from her!” A new voice enters the fray.

The two men look to see someone else running into the alley. They are coming from your back and you fear if you attempt to look at who it is, you might pass out from the pain.

“Let’s get out of here,” the one that shot you tucks his gun away and helps pull the other to their feet. They take off before the newcomer can reach them.

“Miss, are you alright?”

This gunshot wound must be affecting you more than you thought because you could swear their voice sounds like-

Gentle hands grasp your shoulders as you stumble. You lift your head to meet a worried gaze. Soft blue eyes, framed by thick lashes, and two furrowed brows. It’s a look you’re all too familiar with and it always makes your heart clench.

Seeing it this time also makes your head swoon and your stomach flip. “Steve?” you barely manage to get out before your legs collapse.

Part 2

[nuadox]

James Webb Telescope: a scientist explains what its first, amazing images show – and how it will change astronomy

- By Martin Barstow , University of Leicester , The Conversation -

After decades of development and many trials and frustrations along the way, the James Webb Telescope has finally started to deliver what it came for. 

On July 12, Nasa released the first science observations made by the suite of instruments carried on board the mission, marking what we eagerly anticipate will be the beginning of a new era in astronomy.

After the nail-biting launch on Christmas Day, a series of critical deployments followed to open up the telescope and its sun-shade. If any of these operations had failed, James Webb would have been an unusable disaster. But the programme was perfectly executed, a process that ran more smoothly and successfully than anyone of us had dared hope, let alone expect.

This is not just a testament to the skill of the engineers, technicians and scientists in the project. It also highlights the tremendous importance of the testing programme carried out on Earth to verify the procedures and which occasionally revealed problems that needed to be fixed before launch. While this sometimes resulted in schedule slippages and cost increases, it has ultimately produced a perfect telescope.

During July, the telescope moved from its checkout and testing phase to operation, as the amazing observatory it has long been planned to be. Those of us who have been involved in the journey and will work on the data, can hardly wait.

Crisp images

The new “early release observations”, selected by an international committee of representatives from Nasa, Esa (European Space Agency), CSA (Canadian Space Agency), and the Space Telescope Science Institute, are part of a programme designed to highlight the wide range of science the telescope will carry out.

It is very exciting to see the new images – I was not prepared for the level of crispness and fine detail that can be seen. It’s a joy to finally have such high-quality data.

Unveiled by US president Joe Biden, the stunning image of SMACS 0723, a cluster of thousands of galaxies, was released on July 11. The massive foreground galaxy groups magnify and distort the light of objects behind them, helping us to peer back in time at very faint objects.

The image shows the galaxy cluster as it appeared 4.6 billion years ago. But more distant galaxies in the image (the ones which appear stretched) are about 13 billion years old – and we already have more data on them than we have on any other ancient galaxy.

Images such as this will help us understand how the first stars and galaxies formed. Some of these may be among the most distant objects known, from the beginning of the universe. The picture is a composite “colour” image made from observations made at different wavelengths. It was taken by the telescope’s Near-Infrared Camera (NIRCam).

SMACS 0723. NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

James Webb has also caught a glimpse of Stephan’s Quintet, a group of five galaxies that are merging some 290 million light-years away in the constellation Pegasus. The image also suggests there’s a supermassive black hole at the centre, and shows stars being born. The data will tell us more about how galaxies evolve and the rate at which supermassive black holes grow.

Stephen’s quintet. NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

The next picture shows the Carina Nebula, seen in the image below, which is one of the largest and brightest nebulas (clouds of dust and gas in which stars are born). James Webb can probe deep inside dust in the infrared light, to reveal the inside of the stellar nursery – which we’ve never seen before – to discover more about how stars are born.

The Carina Nebula is located approximately 7,600 light-years away in the southern constellation Carina. The image shows hundreds of completely new stars (every dot of light is a star), and jets and bubbles created by them. We can also see details that we cannot yet explain.

A star forming region in the Milky Way. NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

The next, spectacular image is of the Southern Ring or “Eight-Burst” nebula, a planetary nebula, which is an expanding cloud of gas, surrounding a dying star, or in this case two dying stars orbiting each other. It is nearly half a light-year in diameter and is located approximately 2,000 light years away from Earth.

The foamy orange shell in the image is molecular hydrogen (a gas which forms when two hydrogen atoms bond together), whereas the blue centre is an electrically charged gas. In the right-hand image, you can see the two dying stars in the centre, giving us an opportunity to study stellar death in unprecedented detail.

Southern Ring Nebula. NASA, ESA, CSA, and STScI

The new data is the result of months of painstaking measurement and testing to make the James Webb ready for use as a scientific tool following deployment. The first steps were to focus and align the images of each of the mirror segments. Each of the telescope’s scientific instruments - NIRCam, The Near InfraRed Spectrograph (NIRSpec) and Mid-Infrared Instrument (MIRI) – were also switched on and tested.

All these instruments, which look at deep space in different wavelengths, had to be cooled down, along with the telescope, otherwise they would radiate background heat which would interfere with the sensitive observations of astronomical objects. The last to be turned on was MIRI, which operates at the lowest temperature, just seven degrees above absolute zero, which took several months to achieve.

The size of a telescope – its aperture – is the key thing that decides the ultimate quality of the images and the detail that can be observed. Bigger is better. Large telescopes with apertures up to ten metres in diameter have been constructed on the ground.

However, the interfering effects of the atmosphere, which disturb the light reaching the telescope, make it hard to achieve the ultimate resolution. Also, on Earth, background light from the night sky limits the telescope sensitivity, the faintest objects we can see.

With its six-metre aperture, James Webb is the largest telescope ever launched into space and from its vantage point a million miles from Earth, free from the Earth’s atmosphere, it is expected to deliver the best, most detailed views of the universe we have ever seen. There is no doubt that it will revolutionise our understanding of the cosmos, just as its predecessor, the Hubble Space Telescope, once did.

Martin Barstow, Professor of Astrophysics and Space Science, University of Leicester

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

--

Header image: Galaxy generic image. Credit: Phil Siarri.

Read Also

James Webb Space Telescope: An astronomer on the team explains how to send a giant telescope to space – and why

[mc-critical]

One of my most favourite confrontations between Mahidevran and Hürrem in the series is the one after Mahidevran sent Olga to Süleiman in episode 61. It's both fun, yet filled with meaningful character dialogue, managing to successfully deliver a thematic message that eventually finds its retroactive way, despite of it all seeming like a yet another smackdown fest by Hürrem at first.

The scene begins with their typical confrontational energy, the rivalry chemistry immediately paves its way forward. Hürrem is ready to face her for what she did and Mahidevran, while not being interested at first, goes with her flow regardless, setting the mood for what follows.

Hürrem: You've sent a concubine to his majesty.

Mahidevran: I'm replacing Valide. Pleasing his majesty is one of my duties.

Hürrem: Let God not give you other worries. Do you want to cover the lack of your femininity this way?

Mahidevran seems very engrained in her role as the head of the harem and connects it with her own desire to take revenge for her wounded pride and for all the pain they caused her. The first excuse she finds for sending Olga to SS refered to the rules and tradition that give her that right, but we know by context that there's something else going on, this was both a move driven by her vendetta and a provoked move - she decided to do this after Hü told her she's the one ruling the privy chamber and perhaps Mahidevran accepted it as a challenge to her power, because, honestly, I doubt she would've attempted such a thing if she weren't provoked like this. Hürrem, on the other hand, gives her own "interpretation" as to why Mahidevran took action. To be blunt, it sits wrong with me right from the start, because it demonstrates a huge amount of internalized mysoginy on full display and it's sad, in a way, that this is what the system encourages at the moment - you're nothing if you sleep alone in your bed, if you don't have the sultan's back. There's a glimmer of possibility Hürrem said it only to render Mahidevran vulnerable and one could understand where she comes from, since she has experienced quite a lot of similar offenses from that same person. And when a confrontation of the like occurs, her first instinct is to think of a comeback, to pull rank and highlight why she's better than her like she does in all their encounters in this batch of episodes. That hardly excuses or whitewashes this statement, though, because for a person who has been shown to fight the system and call out prejudice (even though it was mostly only she was subjected to it or it was about something that concerned her specifically), seeing that she had absorbed some of it and applies it without a second thought leaves a sour taste for me.

Mahidevran: Worry about your own problems, Hürrem. Did you really think his majesty couldn't be with other women?

Hürrem: This is impossible.

Two major beliefs of Mahidevran and Hürrem's characters come on the surface: they drive the dialogue and help the rest of the scene unfold the way it did. Mahidevran brushes off Hürrem's last statement and brings back tradition to the forefront, which begins to highlight a belief of hers that she shared with Valide, that there is a constant cycle in the harem that no one, not even Hürrem, is capable to entirely break. To Hürrem it's impossible for SS to ever have other women at this point, it's something unthinkable for her already. She feels she has fully broken that cycle.

This scene, unlike the confrontation in episode 58, has well done retroactive irony while serving the context of the episode it's in in a plausible enough way that doesn't seem showed in just for the sake of it. The context of the episode puts Hürrem in the right by showing Olga returning from SS's chambers almost immediately after Hürrem says: "This is impossible." and it's the place where this plot-line transitions to another one, leaving the rest of the confrontation to hang in the balance for a while. Maybe SS had truly given up taking other women ever since the wedding, as shown by this and SS refusing another concubine sent by Valide in the wedding episode.

However, we know that this stops being the case later on and whether it's through the decision to bring in yet another drama tool, yet another annoying stretched narrative opposition in the face of the concubine arcs, it's a fact and we could say that this scene ends up being a good enough framework to set us up for it, intentionally or not.

Mahidevran: Then why is there a concubine in his chamber?

Hürrem: What concubine? Maybe that one?

This, to me, is a demonstration of how the tables can turn in the harem at literally any moment. Meryem Uzerli's little amazing, subtle facial expression says it all. When Mahidevran asks the question, we see for a very split second that Hürrem's wondering how to refute her until the concubine appears in the heat of the argument due to sheer luck. Like, if she had already returned to her rooms before the scene occurred, it would've gone much differently! This isn't all that important here, but I love how Meryem showed a slight probability for Hürrem to lose the argument, which contrasts with all her confident remarks before and after this moment. It's just very neat stuff.

Hürrem: Many girls were introduced to his majesty. Among them, there was even a princess. Where are they now? Look around you. You will not see anyone but me.

Speaking of confident remarks, there comes another one of Hürrem's that no matter how many concubines came, they all went and now there is no one other than her. This line further sets a consistent trend of ambiguity, because she's right in the context of the episode and it encapsulates the resolution of these particular plot-lines of Hürrem and Süleiman in the season and we can get behind her words overall both in the arc and in rewatch, in spite of the retroactive irony, but she's wrong in that it's the end of her harem fights, very far from it, as season 3 and season 4 prove. She hasn't completely won yet, even though she sets the impression that she has.

What I also find interesting in this scene is the back and forth throwing of past - present - future between the two sides. They make a perfect showcase of what these characters represent, their states, their losses, their desires, their hopes, dreams and philosophies. Here, in example, Hürrem makes a reference to a part of her obstacles in the past, acknowledging that they were there regardless, but then she immediately goes back to the present with "Where are they now?". Nowhere in the scene she considered the possibilities of the future, the sheer probability that it all may change one day (as it happened, in many ways, through Firuze), focusing on the currently undeniable truth the present day presents.

That same throwing back and forth continues, but with another note which instantly places the two women against each other again:

Mahidevran: I was also loved once, Hürrem. Mustafa is the fruit of that love. Ask Gülfem Hatun if you want. She will tell you how much she suffered because of me.

Hürrem: You always tell this story.

Unlike Hürrem, who only references the past, Mahidevran laments it and takes pride in it, it being the highlight of her once beautiful life. But we know what went down afterwards, adding in the possibility that maybe, it would all be temporary and what one may have now, may change, because Mahidevran was also in Hürrem's position once. Hürrem however, calls out her fixation on the past, in a similar fashion to how she has done it before (E59: "Are you being proud of your past now? Let me remind you: You're still a slave."), what she had doesn't matter, it's the now that is important to Hürrem, which is a solid thematic note to her character arc.

Though, we have this line of dialogue in response:

We here notice that no matter how long it took for them to do it, Mahidevran and Hürrem actually had parallel arcs, in terms of letting go of the past. This line makes for such a striking revelation of Mahidevran's emotional state from her perspective that only continued what episode 46 hinted at and episode 55 directly started. (E55: "I ripped out the love I had of your father of my heart, I threw it into the sea! He doesn't matter to me anymore. Now you are the only one in my heart.") It's rather surprising that she says these words now - Mahidevran's rule of the harem is arguably her at her worst, doing what she does out of the last ounces of her wanting payback for the sad, bitter years. It's precisely what she lost that motivated her, that was a sure part of the reason she sent Olga to SS and yet, we have that honest confession, that grasp of acceptance. Mahidevran's battle with SS was lost very early on and it took her very slow and gradual development for her to accept it and by E61, she was doing the last steps to do so. She tries hard to convince Hürrem that no matter how hard she tries, there is a cycle in this harem that cannot be changed, Mahidevran has come to terms with it, so Hürrem has to do the same. In a way, she was probably trying to say that they both have been fighting a losing battle and she expresses a small amount of sympathy over it, too - she knows what it's like and it's hard, but it's like some unwritten law that it's not worth it in the end and that everyone gets affected by it, without exception. That's how she begins to look upon her present and show a hint of the future.

Out of the particular context, this line could be a very nice stronger endorsement of the franchise's themes, because, truly, no one ever got a good, triumphant, heroic ending. And it was like a cycle: everyone had to face the feelings of sorrow, grief and loss, everyone had to suffer in this time period, everyone dies. Gülfem called Hürrem's life a fairy tale in E134, but that "fairy tale" came to an end after her death. And if we leave that aside, there is hardly a breather episode even for the biggest of victories, no matter how many victories you've won, they would always "have their end", the narrative would always condemn them one way or another.

Mahidevran: One day a woman will appear and would destroy your indestructible love!

The future is finally put on the front with the scene overall and with Mahidevran herself. It's a continuation of her belief that Hürrem would be "detroned", regardless of all. Thing is, she also doesn't consider her own future, only the one of her rival's. She believes in her own victory that is opposed in the present, but would surely come in the future, a belief she holds until the end of the series. Even though I doubt the writers planned Firuze's existence right back then per say, this line sounds like such foreshadowing to her in retrospect, which makes Mahidevran both right and wrong with this quote. Firuze caused an actual continuous rift between Hürrem and Süleiman, making her doubt his love in ways she hadn't before. Nazenin comes into the picture, as well. But no one truly succeeds to properly destroy the love between Süleiman and Hürrem and they managed to prevail, despite of all the narrative opposition. She still stayed the most dear woman to SS's heart, no matter what. There is a slight possibility of Mahidevran judging the situation one hundred percent to herself here, claiming rather that the appearance of another woman would make Hürrem fall out of love with SS and destroy that, instead, just like it was with her, but since Mahidevran called the same line back during the Firuze episodes, I think she was referring to the rift Firuze would cause and how would Hü fall deeper and deeper.

Hürrem: Mahidevran, don't think of me as your equal.

This line is very telling in that Hürrem considers herself different than everyone else. It has always been a part of her character, perhaps a running reminder of her unprecedented elevation in the system she's telling us about through words. And most of the interpretations I've encountered of this line are exactly this: it is epic, badass, it is delivered in such a shading sassy way that could only be respected or applauded. However, it is just as possible for this infamous one-liner to be presented as the culmination of not only her persistent insistence to assert herself as different and special, but her continuous unwillingness to be compared to anyone else in the harem. And usually she's compared to guess who? Mahidevran. She doesn't want to even think of the possibility to be compared with her by this point (starting from E40 where after she was freed, she said: "Now I'm not equal to you." right to Mahidevran's face and continuing forward into S03 with: "I told you not to compare me to others, to Mahidevran never!" -it was something like that), but at first, which is now probably buried deep within, she feared becoming like Mahidevran. She repeated "I'm not Mahidevran!" when she was out of favor like with the Russian concubines, Mahidevran's words that she would make the same mistakes she did echoed in her head during the Isabella arc in episode 31 and earlier had a nightmare of Süleiman giving the emerald ring to Mahidevran instead of Hürrem in a completely parallel scene. (there's also the other nightmare where Mahidevran was taunting Hürrem to tell her about Leo.) Hürrem dreaded all of those things happening and tried her very best to avoid the very thoughts of it. Now, in a season nearly full of victories in her part, she had gained the belief that whatever happens, she'll always stand above the others. She wants to give off the vibe that no one would ever stop her. She has broken so many traditions and the narrative is currently rooted at her favor, all well and good, right? This line could be a mask, in a way, hiding the fear of being rejected just like the others (that doesn't completely disappear, seeing her suicide attempt in E72; also E106's menopause plot.) and striving to leave it behind her, now reaching its peak by putting not only Mahidevran, but the rest of the women into the picture, without a second of realization of the implications it causes, because well, who else was given such special attention by the Sultan? Who else was freed, who else had such a marriage, who else got out of death's door so many times, who else overcame everything, who else had a chance to "rain as fire" over all her enemies? Even though the quote applies on a much grander scale in execution, in later seasons and the way it got called back to in MCK, I feel, in this particular context, it refers to the harem and Süleiman specifically - his majesty doesn't need any other women, there is no such woman that could take away what Hürrem has and even if they stand together, they wouldn't stand a chance, because Hürrem is that massive and powerful.

The retroactive irony hits hard and here: she's right in the events of this particular episode, but the subsequent events definetly tell a different story. Hürrem's influence and power is acknowledged, especially in her last episodes, but that she's the only one capable of having such power is not necessarily true, given the existence of the SOW, some members of which reached more highs than she did, due to the evolving extent of power they could exercise in the system.

Mahidevran: Your arrogance will end you, Hürrem! One day when you're suffering in pain, I'll remind you this!

Hürrem: Mahidevran, you're not here anymore. You'll be leaving soon!

Mahidevran: You're not powerful enough for that!

The focus on the present and future is back with this quick, but substantial exchange. Mahidevran seems to count completely on what will happen in the future in the first line, while Hürrem accounts for both the present and the future, seemingly in accordance, and Mahidevran brings the confrontation back to the present, for what Hürrem talks about is currently unattainable. These lines look like a brief summary of what was established before about the beliefs of both characters: they both desire the end of one another - for Mahidevran it would happen eventually, because Hürrem would end herself in her eyes and Mahidevran would live for this moment and even witness it (and while she didn't witness it exactly, she lived and outlived them all, because there would be no death for her until they get what they deserve, a belief that carries on the strongest in season 4); for Hürrem it has already happened, but it would keep going, fueling her will to get rid of all her enemies and being in conjunction with the ongoing plot arc itself, for her attacking her enemies in all fronts in ways she hadn't before. The last line of Mahidevran's stops the dialogue between both of them for good (followed by Hürrem's smug grin), resting back on her current position, that is also how her whole set of dialogue began in the first place. Even though there was a hint of realization that she has been fighting a losing battle a while before, the part of hers that would prefer not going to the sanjack than give up now, is directly reflected on. It sets more of a parallel between how both of them are, because Mahidevran told Hürrem that arrogance would end her a few seconds ago, but now she's the one that demonstrates this same arrogance herself, starting to underestimate her own opponents yet again, simply because she rules the harem. Claiming that Hürrem doesn't have the power to send her to the sanjack by force, is true, actually, because Ibrahim interfered at the last moment, but this way Mahidevran seems to brush off Hürrem's victories completely, somehow convincing herself that she's forgotten how far has Hürrem gone and just like her rival, thinking of herself as unstoppable. (that goes on the season finale, too, where she says: "If you're powerful enough, face me by yourself!".) This attitude more or less cemented her downfall in this arc, as it would cement major flaws of Hürrem's in the future.

And then they're stopped by... Süleiman himself and I love that, because they have to stop because he comes, they have to stop because he's watching them and give him the necessary respect. Symbolically, it could be a showcase of him being the decider of everyone's fates and them having to accept his will at the end of the day.

And after he leaves, of course, Hürrem and Mahidevran prepare to carry on with their bickering, as they usually do. While that's the end of the whole confrontation, their expressions tell us it's not over yet.

It's particularly interesting, even as a confrontational scene alone: it's longer than many of the confrontational scenes between them, it speaks more volumes about the opposing sides than any other of the kind has dreamed to. While I love Mahidevran and Hürrem's chemistry, I wish there were more scenes like this one, more nuanced interactions than vitriol and constant, almost formulaic smackdowns. Because, to me, this whole confrontation, while simple at hindsight, raised the bar to what could we have had. The rivalry of the two ladies is fascinating on a thematic level and not exploring its depth further, would be a myriad of wasted opportunities.

This scene did right all you could think of: composition, soundtrack, attention to detail, chemistry, dialogue and opposing two sides on a respectful, unbiased, while narratively provoked, way. I adore the way it aged: as I said, it created a perfect blend between context of the episode/plot arc and retroactive irony and the mix of cause and effect of soapy intrigues, character exploration through lines and all the coming thematic stuff, while being filled with dynamic and fun energy. And it's absolutely sublime for it.

[maozijun]

Mao Zijun Xing Fan Interview

Removing the “adonis of period-costume dramas” label, and returning to a Republican era drama

Before Killer and Healer (or KillHeal hence), Mao Zijun had not filmed a republican drama in a long time. For almost the past five years, the audience’s impression of him has been his costume dramas, such as Qin Wuyan from The Legend of Chusen, An Qinxu from The Glory of Tang Dynasty, Yin Yiren from The Legend of Haolan, and so on and so forth. Because most of his dramas are costume dramas, as it happens, offers that come to him are the costume dramas.

Thus, when an offer for KillHeal, a TV drama about “drug crackdown” set in Republican China, appeared before Mao Zijun, he accepted it without a second thought. “At the time, I felt that I didn’t want to keep shooting costume dramas.”

If “costume drama” is a tag the audience associates with Mao Zijun’s role and acting, we can also claim that “zen,” “placid,” and “easy-going” are impressions he leaves on most people. Other than for the purpose of promoting the broadcasts of his new dramas, he seldom appears in public. If he “wasn’t at home, [he’d] be hanging out, or watching movies.” To the public, it’s as if he’s been “spirited away.” As a regular whose name ranks on the “skilled actor without due fame” chart, regardless how many times he’s been asked about the matter, his response has always been “I really haven’t paid it much attention.” His response may seem like a pleasantry, but he means it from the bottom of his heart.

Mao Zijun knows that ever since he became an actor, his career has been successful for the most part without any major setbacks, and he’s met many great people along the way. From his first TV drama Beauty's Rival in Palace when he cooperated with Lin Xinru, he stumbled into the entertainment industry and was swept along despite his inexperience and unworldliness. Including Director Yu Zheng who was willing to give him the male lead roles for The Legend of Haolan and The Matriarch. “So I thought I’ve had good luck. I’ve met people who appreciated me and were willing to give me opportunities. I’m very grateful.”

Mao Zijun’s “zen” attitude, however, doesn’t extend to everything he does. When there’s a role he really wants, his “wolf-like ambition” is brought out. When it comes choosing projects, he doesn’t compromise either. “I think everyone has the desire to strive for things they don't have; regardless of where you are in life, you wish to become better, you wish that you can climb higher. It’s a never-ending climb.”

Regardless of whether he’s gained fame and popularity, or remains a fine wine waiting to be discovered, “becoming better” is a creed he lives by and acts upon.

- 01 - Shooting KillHeal was an effortless process

What made Mao Zijun “return” to KillHeal after a long separation from republican dramas was its story and Jiang Yuelou’s personality. Jiang Yuelou is a morally grey character: a police officer and Chief of the Inspection Department. He's made law enforcement and drug crackdown his lifelong war, and it’s an undertaking he’s willing to sacrifice his life for. Although a patient with manic depression (known as bipolar disorder in modern clinical terms)--which results in his irritable, violent, and stubborn personality and tendency to be a lone wolf--he’s upright at his core, and there’s a gentle side to him deep down.

When Mao Zijun saw the script, he knew that this character had a lot of potential and creative room to work with. Precisely because of the great amount of creative room, on top of Jiang Yuelou’s vivid and distinct personality, filming for KillHeal was a relatively easy-going process for Mao Zijun despite the character’s lifelong angst and suffering. The character was rich and human per se, “so there was no need to brood over some things,” and it could be rather realistically portrayed. By the same token, the more one could ease himself into character, the better the final results.

Many actors determine the difficulty of portraying a character by criterion of the character’s degree of complexity, or their own compatibility with the character. In this respect, Mao Zijun is somewhat different: his criterion is whether the character can spontaneously come to life in the mind’s eye. “When you’ve read the entire script and discover that the character is very vivid and lifelike--his motives, intentions, behaviour and course of actions, all of which constitutes his rich psychological wiring--you will be able to portray him with relative ease, and not based on whether he’s similar to you. “Compatibility is only one aspect.”

Even if you were to act a character completely different from yourself, “you can imagine yourself in his shoes--what he would say or do” because he’s such a vivid character. “You can effectively get into character.”

In crafting Jiang Yuelou, Mao Zijun largely relies on following the script, his character changing with the progression of the plot; as a result, Jiang Yuelou’s uncontrollable violence, uncompromising ways, and other destructive habits doesn’t extend beyond the character and affect the actor himself. Unlike other actors whose characters took a mental and physical toll on them, Mao Zijun isn’t a purely immersive actor.

“Filming for a movie may require more personal feelings and emotions, but for a TV series, I think it’s half-and-half. Except for particular emotional scenes, that is.” In KillHeal, for example, the emotion expressed through Jiang Yuelou’s eyes when he’s solving cases, or reaction to receiving news, are all achieved through acting techniques. But for scenes where he’s facing the death of his subordinates, his mother, his adoptive father, his brother, and other loved ones, his reactions and expressions of pain must be nuanced and highly faceted. Even for crying scenes, he must cry in widely differing ways. For these scenes, Mao Zijun must lend his own emotional faculties to the character.

However, he does not believe tears are the only way to express his character’s emotions. When his younger and less inexperienced co-star, Ian Yi, consults him about his worries of being unable to shed tears, Mao Zijun tells him, “Why must you shed tears? Tears do not mean everything. The more dramatic and emotionally heavy a scene is, the more you must relax yourself.”

Filming to Mao Zijun is in fact a creative process where he imagines the character, then completes him. Hence, for every character he has acted, Mao Zijun would forget about the character. In his next drama, he would similarly imagine the character, understand his character, and the cycle continues.

So far, he believes there has yet to be a character that requires a lot from him mentally and psychologically, or even one that took him a long time getting out of. But, he hopes he will encounter such a character; a character that can let him experience more, feel more, and empathize with more.

KillHeal was a project Mao Zijun worked on two years ago. Two years ago, he did everything he could to bring Jiang Yuelou into fruition. Looking back now, there are details that could be further refined or supplemented, but the current KillHeal is still to his satisfaction, from his performance and methods of expression, to the overall product that is his character. “As to whether it has met my expectations… Because the broadcast of KillHeal had been held off for so long, I was worried about if the drama would go out of date when it finally came out. But there haven't been such problems so there’s nothing else I’m unsatisfied with.”

- 02 - I’ve become increasingly sentimental

While Mao Zijun may not be a purely immersive actor, he is not a wholly rationalistic one either. It’s in his analysis of his characters and response after completing a character that is rational. This rationality is present in his logic, or his healing process after getting out of character, but not acting itself.

Rationality is perhaps a result of Mao Zijun’s own experiences and personality. He had no formal training in acting. He had good grades in high school, perhaps due to parental pressure and his own belief that good grades made life somewhat easier. After graduating from high school, Mao Zijun successfully got into Zhejiang University of Finance and Economics and majored in Auditing.

“Why had I chosen auditing? At that time, I thought auditing had good prospects. It wasn’t a complicated job either--I took math and the sciences in high school, so auditing isn’t hard.” After getting into university, his parents weren’t as strict as they were in high school, so he had the opportunity to “set himself free” and explore new options. Just like that, he started taking jobs for advertisements, and then acting.

“Beauty's Rival in Palace was especially looking for people to fill in roles at the time. Liu Che was an important character despite not having a lot of scenes, and they thought my appearance fit the role.” Mao Zijun laughed lightly, “Also because of my looks that I started acting.”

The profession of acting provided him with many new experiences, because every character was new and unlike the mechanical motions he had to go through everyday. “This is also the reason why I will persist on this path.”

As someone who changed career paths from the sciences to acting, Mao Zijun has never second-guessed his decisions. He thought of himself as lucky, and his path a smooth one. Many of his friends around him have changed their career paths because of setbacks or other reasons, but he hasn’t. His parents have given him understanding and support. “My parents would express their worries, but they would not try and make a decision for me. Every big decision I've made is my own choice.”

Mao Zijun is a Capricorn: steadiness and rationality are a big part of it. But because he’s been an actor for so long, he’s in fact becoming more and more sentimental. When he first started out in the industry, he would care about others’ views and opinions about him. But with time, they gradually ceased to bother him. This is one of the very few things that have changed about him since his debut.

As an actor with no formal training, but has still received praise and acknowledgement for his acting skills, he does not attribute it to natural talent. Instead, he attributes it to his own capacity for self-excavation. “I think as an actor, you are mining yourself (your talents and skills). For example, if you meet other good actors, good characters, you will be driven to tap into your natural talents. For many actors, rather saying they don’t have talent, they simply haven’t been given the chance to discover their potential.”

In Mao Zijun’s opinion, every actor has talent, it is only a matter of chance and whether they can encounter a great character.

- 03 - Try and lose the “let it be” attitude

Mao Zijun has been in the industry for more than ten years. Ten years’ time is enough to change the state of the entertainment industry and the actors in it. As a post-85 liner interacting with post-90s and -95s actors, he’s picked up a hobby of collecting tarot cards, and has been playing video games like Super Mario and Contra that came with the gaming console gifted to him by his fans.

Newcomers in the industry would abide to the instructions of senior artists and the director. If they met difficulties or discomfort in the process of the shoot, they could only learn to deal with it themselves. But the market has changed, with new genres, subject matters, and the actors, too, are young. These young actors can willfully express themselves and vent, unlike the older generation of actors who learned to put up with things.

These changes cannot be predicted. Just like how it happened in a few years’ time, when an actor may no longer have a large audience base like before--an audience who sits in front of the TV just to catch the airtime of a TV series. Mao Zijun, too, is no longer the unworldly and inexperienced newcomer he was.

If he had to draw a demarcation, he says it’s the year 2016. “Before 2016, although I was an actor by profession and had thought I took my job seriously, looking back now, I’d just been in a status quo of “passing time.” Life had been smooth for Mao Zijun: high school, university, getting a job. He hasn’t met any real obstacles. The efforts and hard work he thought he had been putting into his work were tantamount to what he could easily accomplish in his best and most favourable circumstances.

He strongly agrees with the view that actors need to experience pain and setbacks. But he thinks that’s only a part of it. An actor can experience some things, but he is not able to experience everything. To him, some experiences can be gained through reading novels. “The stories, including the thoughts and behaviours of characters, are enriching and detailed. If you’re not able to personally experience some things, you can experience them via other methods.”

Mao Zijun is a very carefree person. He takes on drama offers when he feels like it, and rejects it when he doesn’t. He’s content with hiding himself away from the public eye to take time off for himself. But now, even he doubts whether the “let himself be” attitude is appropriate. “I noticed that there was a gap, like the period of time after The Legend of Haolan finished airing to the airing of KillHeal now. During these two years, you had no other dramas on-air. Your fans want to see your new projects and content, but you couldn’t give them anything, yet they would still give you a lot of support. It would make you question, shouldn’t I be filming more projects for them?”

After questioning himself, Mao Zijun started taking on more projects. Even during the pandemic, he filmed a movie (no news yet), acted as a cameo in The Journey of Flower as the character Sha Qianmo, and filmed for The Matriarch. “Since my fans want to see me so badly, I’ll just have to act in more projects, I thought.”

In The Matriarch, he plays the role of Wei Liang’gong, a very kind, “moonlight” (unattainable) character--a character with all the wonderful traits and virtues of a person--much like the male version of Empress Fuca Rongyin from Story of Yanxi Palace (2018). “This costume drama depicts a very realistic portrayal of life during the period. Acting in this drama was more of a process of experiencing and feeling, using an everyday-life way of performing was quite nice.”

Mao Zijun doesn’t really care whether he’s famous or popular. Even to this day, other actors from the casts he’s worked with would offer him new projects. Speaking from this point, he thinks he’s lucky enough as it is. To him, a TV drama actor, a bit of fame and a lot of fame doesn’t hold much of a difference. In the long term, “fame” is only a matter of degree. “Unless you win an award--a prestigious film award, whether it be movies or TV films--how much fame is but a matter of quality.” What he must do now, and spare no effort, is to give himself more opportunities.

In retrospect, Mao Zijun has gotten the roles he wanted, and there’s really no regrets. What he desires perhaps lies in the future. Fortunately, there’s just enough time.

Writer: 77

WeChat ID: LJLX2013

Original Post

[dragonofdarknesschaos]

Shadow Young: The Ultimate Heylin Warrior

So I was rereading some old theories about Shadow, and I realized that I completely overlooked such a blatant coincidence!

The Yin-Yang Paradigm | Parallels between the Goddess Jiu Tian Xuan Nu and Shadow

The Yin-Yang Paradigm can take a backseat. It's an interesting read, but the only part we need is the line from the Xiaolin Chronicles Special Edition Preface.

In ancient China,the great Xiaolin Master Dashi unlocked the secrets to supreme martial arts powers.  He became a Xiaolin Dragon–a force of light–defender of good.

Where there is yang, there must be yin.  The evil witch Wuya stole Dashi’s secrets and molded herself into the embodiment of darkness–the Heylin Dragon.

Why is assigning Wuya, the original Heylin Dragon Warrior, as an embodiment of yin energy important? Because the Chinese Goddess, Jiu Tian Xuan Nu, is also known as "The Ultimate Yin." Shadow shares almost all her aspects with this deity. This means that Shadow was (or is?) destined to become The Ultimate Heylin Warrior.

What does that even mean? [Spoilers under the cut]

Dashi was the first Xiaolin Dragon Warrior. Wuya stole his techniques and molded herself into a Heylin Dragon. At the end of XC it is stated that Chase ascends to the level of a Heylin Dragon, quite literally.

While Wuya doesn't possess the same literal transformation that Chase has associated with the title of "Dragon," it still bears mentioning that both achieved this level of skill.

How Xiaolin Dragon Warriors--warriors of light--differ from Heylin Dragon Warriors--warriors of darkness--is that Xiaolin Warriors ascend to the level of Dragon when they successfully ride and pair with an actual dragon.

Chase was never able to do this, and he despised his fellow Monks (and brother) for moving on without him. In addition, as part of being a Xiaolin Dragon Warrior, one must give up part of their unique abilities and channel them into a mystical item for future generations of Xiaolin Warriors to use--these are the Shen Gong Wu. Chase had worked so hard for what little power he had, that he didn't think it was right for him to suddenly give it up for the sake of posterity.

While not much is known about Wuya, we do know that she craved power. Before Dashi defeated her in the first Xiaolin Showdown, she might have been well on her way to taking power from the whole world. It's purposefully left ambiguous and we are never truly meant to know. What is certain is that Wuya definitely could have done all, or possibly more, than Chase did in this Heylin Dragon Form.

So how does all this yin and yang relate back to Shadow?

As stated in the title of this post, I believe Shadow was destined to become the Ultimate Yin. In this context of "Xiao-yang" and "Hey-yin," this means that Shadow is slated to become the Ultimate Heylin Warrior. But Jiu Tian Xuan Nu is very much a positive, good, and balancing force in the pantheon. How can an ultimate evil be that too?

Throughout XC Shadow is shown checking and attempting to balance Chase's evil acts. The strongest example of the imbalance within Chase & his brand of Evil and how Shadow reacts to that imbalance can be seen in "Chase Lays an Egg." Not only does Shadow roll her eyes at Chase's gluttony early on, insisting that there are better (and more Evil) things to do, but she also shows extreme disgust over Chase's affection for the Egg. After the Egg is stolen, Chase prompts Shadow to go into the Xiaolin Temple and get back his Egg. Shadow refuses, and Chase darts off to get it himself. Shadow cooks up her own plan to destroy the Egg and revert Chase back to his usual, Evil self. Shadow's whole motivations towards Chase after episode 8, "Out of Ping Pong's Mind," can mostly be summed up as her trying to get him to be the most Evil version of himself. Over time she gets annoyed that he doesn't change and that eventually motivates her in part to leave ("Shadow's Role and Abuse" 2017).

So early on, Shadow already has an ideal of the Evil Chase should be living up to, but isn't. This is likely why Wuya and Shadow quickly and easily bonded--both possess extremely powerful yin energy. It's strange that returning Wuya to a solidly form is all Shadow's idea, but then Shadow seems surprised when her vision leads her back to Wuya an episode later ("Back in the Flesh Again," "Call of the Dragon Spirit"). I think it's only natural that Wuya would want to eliminate Shadow from the competition to be the strongest Heylin force. Wuya might not know that this is even coming, however.

The only real reason Wuya gives to eliminate Shadow at the end of the series is that Wuya saw Shadow as a tool to lead her to Princess Kaila, who Wuya believes was involved with her wrongful imprisonment by Dashi inside the spring inside the puzzle box for over 1500 years. Wuya doesn't need Shadow any more, since Kaila is right in front of her, so Shadow does something a little out of character. She turns around on Wuya and is last shown running for her life with Princess Kaila. It's implied that the two are at least traveling together, but it's unknown if Shadow is protecting Kaila or not. Since Shadow feels a connection to Kaila, I would argue that she is protecting the princess ("Fly the Dragon!").

So if Shadow is supposed to become this Ultimate Heylin force, why is she, presumably, going to be trained by Princess Kaila--a force of good--on how to use her powers? Shadow, Kaila, and Loniani-Nui--a dragon lady shapeshifter, Dragon Partner to Chase's older brother, and Chase's Monkhood crush--all have a yin-yang symbol somewhere on their body. Nui's is on her throat chakra, Kaila's is near her heart chakra, and Shadow's is on her third eye chakra. You can read more about the significance of these placements here.

All you really need to know about the significance of these placements is that the highest chakra--and thus enlightenment--is at the top of the head. Shadow, having her yin-yang on her third eye is the one closest to reaching that enlightenment of these three women. Xiaolin is based on Shaolin Buddhism, the main goal of the religion is to attain enlightenment. Since Dragon Warriors are able to fuse and link with their dragon partners, they definitely get very close to entering the state of nirvana. Or since it's a nonsensical kid's show, it might be better described as "an empowered, altered state of being one with the world and its' knowledge." There's not enough to go on at this point unfortunately.

To back up Shadow being secretly super powerful, @p-r-imeday had an exchange with series creator, Christy Hui, on instagram where Hui casually revealed that she just likes characters with really "big hair." Which explains a lot of the design choices in XC. The Heylin characters with the longest hair are Shadow, then Wuya, and then Chase. Chase even gets slightly longer hair when he goes super size and absorbs all the chi he possibly can. Wuya's hair is still slightly longer due to the tight curl at the end.

So Shadow already has some construct of what Evil is supposed to be in her mind, and she is willing to reinforce that ideal. Wuya, the only other major embodiment of yin, sees Shadow as a threat, albeit by association with Wuya's real target. And Shadow is the closest to enlightenment because of the placement of her yin-yang being so close to the crown chakra, in addition to her having the longest hair in canon, which makes her the most powerful being.

Shadow's role as the Ultimate Heylin Warrior would be to enforce a strict view of Evil onto the Heylin side. While XC did greatly limit the number of visibly active villains, the series as a whole is well known for having a plethora of antagonists who operated in evil areas, but relatively outside the Xiaolin-Heylin conflict. Shadow would essentially be out there saying, "Hey, if you're going to use that Wu you gotta fight the Xiaolin Order. Or Else." She would also be required to show up to fight Evils that don't fit her strict interpretation of what "Evil" is, thus aiding the side of good.

I describe it best here, in that the best way to paint the world grey is to start with pure white and pure black, and constantly have them mixing with each other. Because at the end of the day, the world Dashi has created through his actions is one in which very few dots of black are allowed to exist, while the Xiaolin Order stands blinding in its' light.

Without Shadow forcing people who want to use Wu to enter the fray, XC leaves us with Jack, Wuya, and... Tiny Sim? Sim isn't interested in Wu at all, and Jack was only in it due to Wuya (Salvadore serves Wuya, so I'm not mentioning him in this list). The Xiaolin Order has five Monks being trained to become Dragon Warriors. It's grossly imbalanced. Shadow is needed to correct that balance. And thus, a proper, balanced world order would be achieved.

TL;DR:

Shadow is the most powerful being in all of XC because she has really long hair.

[writer-k-pop]

Misunderstood - Part 4

아이구, 뺨에 뭐가 묻었구나. Oh, you’ve got something on your cheek.

Description: Taking everyday slow and steady is how your relationship with Soonyoung, the CEO of Starlight Entertainment, has been progressing. Life is still throwing its curveballs but you and Soonyoung stand up to them together. Though it’s been pretty smooth sailing, there are still a couple questions that need to be answered. [Someone requested a part 4 of this series and I’ve been pondering it for a while. I finally wrote it though it’s longer than I expected-oops. Enjoy!]  Warnings: Swearing Genre: Angst, Fluff, CEO!Soonyoung/Hoshi x Fem!Reader Word Count: 5.1k

Seventeen Masterlist | Masterlists

Soonyoung didn't understand what it was about you. Ever since the first day, he tried to do everything to avoid you in the assumption that you would be gone just as he was getting used to the idea of having someone around. But ever since the first day, no matter the battle Soonyoung was having with himself, the moment he saw you, the side that favored being close to you always won.

The first day you showed up to work, he didn't even know Ms. Lee had hired someone new. When he first saw you with Ms. Lee, Soonyoung began to worry that you were taking over her role and that she'd be leaving the company. When he learned that you were his secretary, he launched into the plan he used to push the others away so he wouldn't be the one hurt.

But you answered his first question with stories that a regular person would want to hear and he was shocked that you answered with that and not the expected stories from the entertainment industry like the others had.

That was the first crack you made in his 'I will live alone' resolve. The second happened on the same day: when his second wife came barging into his office, ranting about their divorce.

The other times she'd come by, causing a scene, his secretary would just sit there in silence and he was always the one to break it. That he hated the most. So when you spoke first, he was surprised, to say the least.

Then 6 months later, when his first wife showed up out of the blue, Soonyoung wanted to be buried millions of feet underneath the company building. He was embarrassed and a little angry that you had to be in the middle of it.

Soonyoung fought with himself that night. You had agreed to go home right away but only if he promised to leave before midnight. No one had ever made him promise something like that and a large chunk of the wall he'd put up crashed into a large cloud of dust inside his chest. With that promise, he knew you cared at least a little. And because of that care, he kept that promise. Though you never found that out.

In bed, Soonyoung tossed and turned debating whether or not to fire you or keep you. After all, it was HIS first wife who had attacked you in front of HIS office in HIS company building. Keeping you around when he thought you were for sure scared out of your wits would be wrong. Right?

Yet even with all that, you had started learning too much about him. Two wives with two tales and hundreds of news articles putting nasty labels on him. He had a feeling you would leave soon and he needed to protect himself from that hurt. Because if you left now, when you had outlasted all the others, he didn't know if he'd ever recover from that pain.

He hated to admit it, but he'd come to really enjoy your presence and your company. Soonyoung was cracking and he feared that the most. That he would completely open up to you and you would scowl and turn away.

But you made him promise to go home and sleep. You had cared enough to make sure he didn't stay at the company too late. You cared. That had to count for something.

Soonyoung continued this battle in the morning and on his way to the company. As his car pulled up to the front doors, he had decided that it would just be best if he let you go and he could save both of you from the inevitable, no matter how good the future possibilities looked. Because every time he got his hopes up, hell would raise from its grave and knock him back down.  

But then he saw you. Standing in line at the cafe. And just like that, all his plans to let you go disappeared. He found himself walking over, frantically trying to figure out a way to apologize for what happened the night before. That plan ended up with him paying for your coffee and saying a few apologies before you caught on and forgave him.

This was new. Soonyoung never got the chance to apologize to the others so he didn't know if he was doing it right and he certainly didn't expect you to forgive him as easily as you did. He wanted to dive into it more with you but reality reminded him that he had others to watch over.

But that didn't stop his wall from crashing down bit by bit every day. Until a couple months later when he cautiously took the first step in allowing you in.

And after that, you and Soonyoung took each day slowly. You were all ready to read every story he had tucked behind his exterior shell but he was hesitant to show you everything all at once. Always afraid he'd show too much.

There were times when you would lie awake at night and ask yourself if he was someone you could really handle. But you always woke up with the resolve that you could and you would. Throughout the days, the articles would still come out and you would do your best to ignore them but damn was it hard. Every time an article would come out, you wondered if there was anyway for you to prove all the labels wrong. But you always came up empty.

A few months after you had begun to date, Soonyoung believed you shouldn't be working as his secretary anymore and moved you to work alongside Ms. Lee in HR. Though on occasion, you acted as Soonyoung's double and attended certain meetings and schedules in his place.

When he first mentioned the role to you, you felt a good deal of pride that he could trust you with this. And Soonyoung also felt some pride. Some for himself that he'd let you come this close to him. And some for you for being you and getting this close to him.

It was during one of those schedules that you ran into a way to dispute all the labels the media had been plastering over Soonyoung's image. Though you didn't know it at the time.

You were asked to attend a rehearsal for Basics's newest comeback. Soonyoung gave you a list of things to watch out for as this concept was kind of a tricky one. You took the list and made your way down to the large practice room where they were.

Opening the door, you're greeted by the group's 5 male members, Mark, Jino, Chan, Gavin, and Tae, who all had large smiles on their faces. News about your relationship with the CEO was successfully kept a secret... for a few weeks. Someone had leaked the gossip into the company but Soonyoung was quick to keep it contained to the company staff and not the public.

"Ms. (y/l/n), over here." Their manager gestured to one of the four open seats. The other three were meant for the operations director, the choreography director, and another director who's titled you could never remember.

As you took your seat, the other three directors all showed up together. You watched as the Basics members warmed up and then read over Soonyoung's 'Watch For' list. Soon the rehearsal began and the group launched into an impressive routine for an upbeat song. Once the title song was completed, they moved onto the B-side that would also be performed along side. A slower song but this one you enjoyed a lot.

Even as you listened to the lyrics, you felt a strong connection to the song and wondered why. It wasn't specific in any way, just talking about a feeling but also fighting it at the same time, yet you felt like you've heard this story before.

After the rehearsal, the other three directors gave their comments and critiques, quickly wrote down their notes, then took off with quick goodbyes.

You on the other hand, took a little longer as you were still not the most skilled at this evaluations thing. Plus Soonyoung always liked it when you added your own opinions.

"Can I ask a question?" You called out to the group and they instantly gave you their attention.

"Yes, go ahead." The leader, Mark, nodded.

"Who wrote your B-Side track?" You asked, unable to keep your curiosity at bay.

"Ah, it was a gift to us from the CEO. He said he wrote and composed it and wanted to gift it to us." Mark answered and you pause, processing the information.

You knew Soonyoung had dabbled in the lyrics area but you had no idea that he was also composing. Now the connection to the song was made clear. It was Soonyoung's story. The one you've been living.

"Speaking of Mr. Kwon." Gavin shyly spoke up.

"Yes?" You encouraged him to keep going while the members shared nervous glances.

"We know his birthday is coming up in a couple days." He continued, "And we wanted to surprise him with something small. He's been a great help to us and we want to thank him for the song. And we were wondering if you would help us." Gavin quickly finished with a shy smile.

You smiled, loving the idea that Soonyoung would get a surprise for his birthday. "What ideas do you have?" You asked and the members' eyes all widen.

They nervously laugh before Mark explained.

"We didn't think that you would actually say yes, so we didn't really think about anything." He admitted and you chuckled.

"That's alright." You told them, motioning them to come closer and moving to sit on the floor so you were all on the same level. It was something you learned from watching Soonyoung interact with the artists and trainees. Being on the same level made it more comfortable for them to speak freely and that was the main goal of company conversations.

Once they were seated, you began brainstorming ideas.

"So, we'll probably have to get him down here. Going up there makes too many possibilities for mistakes." You began and the members nodded their heads in agreement. "So how do we get him down here?"

"You could ask him to fill in for an evaluation? Say you don't feel good?" Tae asked.

You shook your head, "If I said I don't feel good, Mr. Kwon would drop everything and come care for me." You told them with an 'unfortunately' face.

"Well, what would make him come running quickly?" Chan wondered, deep in thought.

You took a few seconds before an idea popped into your head, "Soon-Mr. Kwon," You corrected yourself, "Would come running if one of you were hurt or not okay. You know how much he cares for you all."

They nodded.

"So how do we do it? Should one of us fake an injury?" Jino questioned, leaning forward in excitement.

"I think we should stay away from injuries but could you guys make it seem like you all had a fight and decided to ditch a member?" You inquired with them.

"What do you mean?" Mark asked.

"Mmm, and you can say no, but I was thinking we could say that four of you were disagreeing with one member and left the one member alone in the practice room." You explained while the members listened intently, soaking in the details. "I could say I was just checking up on the groups in the practice room when I saw the lone member and 'found out' what happened and call Mr. Kwon, explaining the situation. That would get him running down here quick."

"Where would the rest of us be?" Gavin asked.

"In another room waiting with a cake or something." You told them, "Then when Mr. Kwon is talking to the one member, I'll turn off the lights and you can come with the cake."

You watched the smiles grow on their faces and knew that was the plan.

"Who's gonna be the one member?" Chan asked, "They have to be really good at acting."

"Gavin's pretty good at it." Mark suggested.

"I guess I am." Gavin shrugged, content with the idea. "I'm down, I'll do it."

You nodded allowing them to continue their story planning.

"Wait, I feel like if it's just the five of us, it'll be kind of lame." Jino worried. "Could we invite the other groups and trainees? Have like a huge party?"

You licked your lips, wondering if the plan was getting too out of control.

"Some groups might not be able to make it. They have their own schedules and stuff." Mark offered, excited about inviting others.

"Well..." You trailed off and the members were sure you were going to say no. "We'll need to find a room with multiple entrances/off rooms so you don't all come out of one doorway." You finished with a smile and the members laughed giddily.

"Can you guys handle the cake and gathering trainees by yourselves?" It was now your turn to worry.

They nodded. "We kind of already started gathering the others." Mark said, scratching the back of his head.

"And we were thinking for the cake, cause there's gonna be so many of us, that each group would buy a large cake to share." Jino informed you and you narrowed your eyes suspiciously at them.

"How many groups do you have confirmed already?" You questioned.

"... All of them." Jino answered looking away from your gaze.

You dropped your mouth open, "You guys." You can't help but chuckle, "Where are we going to find a big enough space to fit all of you? We're not a small company."

"We were thinking the gym, you know the one where Mr. Kwon hosts his big dancing sessions every year?" Tae said. "And it has a bunch of different entrances too. It could work, right?"

You thought back to the space and counted all the entrances and rooms where people could hide: a good 15. "Yeah that could work. Then we just won't turn off the lights. We'll have to figure out a different signal."

They all nodded then your phone began to ring with a call from none other than Mr. Kwon himself.

"Hello?" You answered.

"Where are you?" Soonyoung asked, a sense of urgency in his voice. "We have that dinner thing in like five minutes."

You whipped your head towards the clock and gasped when you saw the time. "Oh, crap. I'm on my way." You told him before hanging up the phone.

Soonyoung had wanted to ask you again where you were but you hung up before he got the chance.

Chuckling to himself, he leaned back in his chair clasping his hands behind his head, "(y/n), what were you up to?" He muttered to himself.

Quickly rising from your seat, you gathered your belongings and wished the Basics members goodbye.

"I'll come back tomorrow." You told them before rushing out the door to your next appointment that you foolishly forgot about.

Three days later, you stood in front of 5 idol groups and twice as many trainees and all their managers. A shiver ran down your spine in sheer nervousness of having to talk to THIS many people.

"So much for 'small' party." You thought to yourself.

You had told Soonyoung that you needed to check on a few new staffs in the practice rooms and that you would be a while. He didn't question it and let you go.

"And this was your idea?" Ms. Lee stepped next to you. You had recruited her to help with the mass of humans and she readily accepted.

"Partially, yeah." You smiled sheepishly at her.

Ms. Lee chuckled, "You and your big ideas." Then she clapped her hands, grabbing the attention of everyone in the room.

"Alright! You know the drill. Stay hidden until you hear the song play." Ms. Lee instructed.

Everyone in the room nodded.

"Get into your spots and I'll call Mr. Kwon once everyone is ready." You announced to them and they all immediately started shuffling to their assigned rooms.

The members of Basics make their way towards me with Gavin looking quite downcast.

"What's wrong, Gavin?" You asked, worried about him.

"He's fine, he's just getting in the mood." Tae smiled, reassuring you. Though you still felt a little unsure but that was wiped away when Gavin looked up at gave you a quick smile.

We were given thumbs up from each of the rooms and you called Soonyoung.

"What's up?" Soonyoung answered.

You took in a deep breath and did your best to sound extremely concerned. "Soonyoung. We have an issue."

"What's wrong?" Soonyoung asked, his tone dropping immediately.

"I was going around and four members of Basics stormed out of a practice room." You do your best to waver your voice, "When I went to check, Gavin was sitting alone."

"Did you ask him what happened?" Soonyoung questioned you.

"He said the group had been arguing and they just ditched him. He said they said they didn't want to be a group anymore." You breathe out, stressfully, "What do we do?"

The Basics members gave you thumbs ups before making their way into their assigned room with their assigned trainees. Ms. Lee patted your shoulder in support before following the Basics members.

"Where are you?" Soonyoung asked, rising from his chair and making his way to the door. "Is Gavin still with you?"

"He's with me." You informed him, "We're in the big gym."

"Don't leave. I'm coming." He said and you could hear the elevator ding. "Just don't let him leave." Soonyoung reminded you before hanging up.

You put away your phone and nodded to Gavin who took his spot on the floor, bent over his knees in sadness.

A few minutes later, the gym doors banged open and you walked over to Soonyoung as he entered.

"How is he?" Soonyoung asked, grabbing your upper arms.

"Not talking much, I can't get much out of him." You lied, looking sad, as per the plan.

Soonyoung squeezed your arms and kissed your cheek, "Okay, stay here, and I'll go talk to him."

You nodded and he made his way over to Gavin. Keeping your eyes on the pair, you inched your way over to the sound system which was conveniently placed near the doors. Unlocking the already hooked up iPad, you waited two more seconds before hitting the play button on some remixed version of 'Happy Birthday.'

As soon as the first note blasted through the speakers, everybody flooded out in a chorus of happy birthday. Even Gavin popped his head up, smiling wide and singing along.

Soonyoung, on the other hand, nearly had a heart attack when the music started. He placed a hand over his heart and fell back onto his bottom. His eyes darting to every person coming out of nearly every door.

You watched from your station with a smile, and a little worried cause Soonyoung got scared. But when he looked over at you with his eyes sparkling with delight, you knew he was just fine.

Some of the managers helped him onto his feet just as the leaders reached him. They each lit the single candle on their cake, you wouldn't let them put more on for safety reasons, and waited for the song to end and for Soonyoung to blow out the candles.

The song ended and you made your way over to him as he laughed with his whole chest. Then he blew out the candles, making the whole group cheer.

"Happy birthday." You said, side hugging Soonyoung as some trainees brought out tables to place the cakes on.

"And here I thought you weren't going to give me any presents." Soonyoung smiled at you.

You smirked, "This wasn't my present to you. You'll just to wait for that one." You whispered into his ear.

But before he could think about it, you clapped your hands.

"Let's eat some cake!" You started at the end cake and began cutting the large cake into pieces.

Ms. Lee began at the other end and the artists and trainees lined up to get their piece of cake. You glanced over at Soonyoung standing a few feet away, still in awe. Partly because of the surprise, but mainly because of what you had whispered to him. 

"Mr. Kwon, a little help?" You called out to him, breaking him from his thoughts.

"Coming." He replied and quickly got to work, plating the pieces of cake and handing them out.

Soonyoung handed the first piece out but the trainee shook their head and hands.

"You should have the first piece, Mr. Kwon. It's your birthday." They said but Soonyoung shook his head.

"I will eat when all of you have gotten a piece." He placed the plate in their hands, "Seeing you guys happy makes me happy." He told them and they graciously took the plate.

You and Soonyoung continued to cut and hand out cake pieces until everyone had a serving. Then as a little extra fun, you brought Soonyoung a piece for him.

"You really pulled this off for me?" Soonyoung wondered, wrapping an arm around your waist.

"Oh, this wasn't completely my idea." You told him, "Basics came up with the original idea. Make sure to thank them later."

Soonyoung nodded and looked out happily at the artists and trainees interacting happily with each other and cake with their managers' watchful eye over them. You took this opportunity and planted the piece of cake on Soonyoung's cheek.

"OHHHH!" A few voices yelled having seen what you had done. The conversations in the room were replaced with laughter and stifled laughter as they realized what you had done.

"Oh, you've got a little something on your cheek." You stepped away from Soonyoung who had now been surprised from the second time that day. A smile played on your lips and he glanced up at you with challenge in his eyes.

Soonyoung cooly wiped the mess off of his face with a napkin. "Ms. (y/l/n), you better run." He said with a raised eyebrow and you took the signal to run away.

As you ran around the edge of the room, some artists attempted to hold Soonyoung back while others came to your rescue, creating a barrier between you two.

Laughing uncontrollably, Soonyoung attempted to escape from the bear hug he was currently receiving but to no avail. His own artists and trainees had turned against him for his own girlfriend and he couldn't believe it.

Your own laughter filled your ears and you rested your arms around the shoulders of the nearest trainees. The echoes of laughter bounced off every wall and created a melody of pure bliss. It was a moment you never wanted to end.

After a few minutes, Soonyoung raised his hands in surrender. The crowd around him dispersed and they all share wide smiles. Soonyoung looked up at you and he memorized every feature of your smiling face including the amount of joy that swam in your eyes. It was the moment he knew he could stop fearing being left alone. Cause now, he knew you were here to stay.

You also saw his face and knew you were in for good. You never wanted the life that filled his eyes or the glow he had when he was smiling that hard to ever leave. And you were going to make sure it stayed.

What neither of you knew was that the entire surprise had been recorded. Basics had somehow devised a plan to show the world that their CEO was the complete opposite of what they made him out to be. You figured out later that they had got it passed by labeling it as a behind the scenes of their new comeback.

So when the video came out, it shocked not only you and Soonyoung, but the whole world. Though they were kind enough to edit out the extremely couple-y things. You made sure to thank them for that.

After that, all it took was the other groups to share their stories with Soonyoung and a few anonymous staff members' testimonies and the public swayed away from Soonyoung's previous image.

Something that Soonyoung thought would take too much money and time to correct and that you thought would take many many months to do seemingly was done within a couple weeks. Either way, you were just happy that you were able to apart of it and Soonyoung was just happy to finally have you at his side comfortably.

"You're thinking about something." Soonyoung noticed your pursed lips and distant gaze one night as you two sat on the couch.

You broke out of your thoughts and shook your head. "No, no. Just zoning out."

Soonyoung now shook his head, "No you weren't. If you were truly zoning out, your lips wouldn't have been pursed. So you were thinking. What were you thinking about?" He pressed.

You took in a breath, having been caught, "Nothing important." You gave a small smile but Soonyoung just wasn't having it.

He raised an eyebrow at you, "Spit it out." He said and poked your side, making you jump slightly.

"Fine, fine." You stopped his hands before he could start a tickle attack, "I'm just still curious."

"Curious about what?" Soonyoung leaned back but you kept his hand in yours.

"The same question I've wondered about since day 1." You respond and watch as Soonyoung tried to recall the one question out of the thousands you ask on a daily basis.

He looked back at you with a blank look and you chuckled.

"Why you never corrected the articles." You reminded him.

"I thought I answered this one." Soonyoung looked confused recalling that fateful dinner.

"You did. But it was a half-assed answer." You told him, "Or it was, in my opinion."

"You really won't let this go until you know, will you?" Soonyoung asked, a nervous smile on his lips.

You shook your head proudly, "No. I think I deserve the real answer now."

Soonyoung sighed and nodded, "I guess you do. Since we've made it this far."

"So?" You leaned closer to him and he pulled you to lay on his chest. You could hear his heartbeat pick up speed, giving away his nervousness like a EDM beat drop.

"Why didn't I correct the articles." Soonyoung repeated the question. "Mmm, probably because that way no one would want to get close to me and then I wouldn't be broken and hurt when they left. All the relationships I had been in have ended with the other party agreeing with articles and using them against me in every divorce I had to settle." His said with a sullen tone.

You fought the urge to look up at his face and his arm tightened ever so slightly around you.

Soonyoung paused, debating whether or not it was a good idea to even answer your question. But your mere presence under his arm urged him to keep explaining.

"I never had to do anything and no one expected anything of me." He continued, "I could appear in front of cameras tired and the tabloids would just say it was my coldness and angriness. I never had to explain anything. It was better that way. Cause then I could focus on my artists and my trainees. And no one would question me. It was just easier to be misunderstood."

You felt his head turn downwards and you turned your head to see him looking down at you.

"But then you showed up." Soonyoung smiled sweetly at you, "You showed up and made me want to be understood. Even though every fiber in my body fought against it every single day, you still showed up every day and chipped away at me. Like a stubborn nagging thought that just won't go away."

You smiled up at him and giggled. "I can be stubborn, can't I?"

He nodded, "But I'm so much worse."

You shrugged.

Soonyoung glanced away and for a split second, doubt flashed across his eyes.

"I've actually been meaning to ask you." He cleared his throat, "Have you made your own conclusions?"

You sat up straighter, "I think I can say that I've made them. Yeah." You answered honestly.

Soonyoung dropped his arm from you and rested both hands in his lap. "And you're not going to leave are you?" He quietly asked, he himself still scared that he would hear the answer that would send his world crashing down.

Taking a breath, you calmed yourself down, reminding yourself that this was the area that you knew Soonyoung has always been anxious and worried about. People leaving. But you weren't about to do that.

"Soonyoung." You said, grabbing both of his hands, "Now that your public image is being changed, all those other women are going to feel so dumb and will be beating themselves up for not trying harder to understand you. But they won't ever get a second chance. Cause I'm not giving you up." You told him, enunciating every word so he fully understood.

Soonyoung's head lifted to meet yours and he almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. The glass windows weren't shattering, the cabinets weren't exploding into shreds, and you were still sitting in front of him. Finally, he was still on top of the world.

He didn't have to say anything because the smile that grew on his face told you everything he wanted to say.

"I'm not leaving." You repeated, more determined to make it stick.

Without warning, Soonyoung rested both hands on your cheeks and pulled you in for a hard kiss. The kind of kiss that said 'I love you,' 'thank you,' and 'you're mine' all at once. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him in tighter but he pushed back, laying you down on the couch.

Pulling away for air, Soonyoung rested his forehead on yours. Staring into his eyes, you couldn't see a single trace of doubt anywhere. Not even in the dark corners.

As he stared into yours, he saw a life, a future, with you, the one person who actually understood every part of him.

"Say it again." Soonyoung whispered, dropping down to hover his lips just above yours.

You smiled as his lips tickled yours, "I'm not leaving."