#this is the final yey
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lezarasss · 27 days ago
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The house that built I (G). part 2/2
You can read the first part here
Jost enjoys breakfast, especially when he is offered such a filling dish. Falafel seems like a light snack, but after five or six balls you already feel full.
- Sometimes, I am amazed that you don't eat meat - says Joost, finishing the last ball of his portion. They look at each other. With some incomprehension.
- What?
- I mean... I was very surprised when you said that you don't eat meat
- Well, I wouldn't say that. I can eat meat. But I would have to be either delirious or drunk as hell to chew it with difficulty and then eat it
- Is it somehow connected with you or...
- No. I just don't eat meat - Joost was not given the chance to finish and was happily interrupted, not letting him finish his assumptions.
They sit in silence again. Different sounds come from the open window: the noise of passers-by, the rustling of trees, the hum of passing cars - all this fills the room. They only occasionally exchanged glances, not knowing what they could talk about and whether it was worth doing at all. Enjoying each other's company, the taste of food and the silence that surrounded them.
- Listen - Aggu began his speech casually, after he finished his portion. His gaze was fixed directly on the interlocutor, who was sitting on the other side of the table opposite him - I saw how you drew something in that book
- And?
- I tried to see what you were doing, but I never succeeded
- Do you want to see?
- Yes, if possible - Joost was even a little flattered that August was interested in what he was doing in his sketchbook. After all, he could easily ignore it. More precisely, just glance out of the corner of his eye and forget, go about his business without even remembering about it during the day. But it seems that this very book has warmed up a genuine interest in him
After the morning meal, sitting on a mattress in the living room, Joost carefully hands August his sketchbook. Of course, he was not shy about sharing his work with anyone. After all, he was a media personality and demonstrating his own work was an integral part of the Dutchman's life and image. But drawings are more personal, so innocent and intimate, you are even afraid to show them to someone you value and trust. Diederich turns the pages with the same care. He carefully studies his drawings, paying special attention to each line and each image. The lines were clear, even and very thick in their thickness. He stops in the middle of the sketchbook. On the left side of the book spread, Aggu pays attention to the last drawing. It seems that it was it, the drawing that he saw in the morning. This house looked very unusual and had an abstract shape. Part of the building reminded him of the typical architecture of Dutch houses, which can often be seen when walking along the embankment in Amsterdam or other cities. Such houses have high roofs, bright facades and traditional decorative elements. Like this house. Another part of it was an extension of other houses and rooms. They did not fit together in any way. It was as if Joost was trying to fit all this into one overall picture. From the roof of the garage there is a small staircase that leads to another part of the house. On the right, he notices a mill. It is located on a fragile, as it seemed to him, platform. It carefully held a small mill. A place of quiet solitude, so much stands out against the background of all these structures and buildings. Above all this rises a multi-story building. Something reminiscent of an apartment building or a metropolis.
- That...what is this?
- This is a house - the Dutchman's answer was simple and laconic. For Joost, this is a masterpiece of surrealism. He put his efforts into this drawing. Into these lines. August is still trying to understand something in this drawing, to find meaning in it. Looking at it even more.
- Seriously, dude, this is not like anything I've seen before. It looks so weird, but at the same time so...
- What?
- It's immediately obvious that you did it. It's very...in your style
- Hah. I'm flattered that you paid attention to the style
- Well, it seems to me that everything has its own style and approach to many things. - Aggu is silent, looks at the drawing again, again turning to Klein sitting next to him:
- And did you draw this from your head or did you actually see such a house somewhere?
- This house is a part of me. I put into it what I saw, how I lived and live. Do you see the mill on the frame? I wanted to reflect a part of my culture in it. There are many windmills in Friesland, and I would like them to always be with me. And here, in this small room, I would like to see my nursery. So that a part of my childhood would always be with me. Imagine, after a hard day, you could just sit in it, lie on the bed and look at the ceiling, enjoying this atmosphere, remembering those years when you were innocent and happy, full of strength and energy, without thinking about problems. And this ... - Joost falls silent. He looks at the entrance to the house, remembering his childhood for a minute. About family, about home. All this brings back pleasant, such tender memories in him, but all this collapses against the cruel reality. Who he became and what he came to. How much he had to gain and lose at different moments in life. It can no longer be returned. It is only a memory, only fleeting moments that are imprinted in the head, like one small picture that you can’t look at in real life. Only imagine. And then, a lot is forgotten and mixed up. Which makes the soul heavy.
August captures this silence, this sadness that Klein captured in the moment of his reflections. In the moment of his memories.
- This is really impressive. I was very touched that you take your drawing so seriously. Each element has its own meaning.
- Maybe I just dream a lot.
- Is that bad?
- Isn't it? The more you dream, the more you forget about your real problems and affairs. It becomes more frightening when you live in your own imaginary world, trying to solve all the tasks and problems set before you in your head. Can you say... mentally living a second life?
- I think this is also not bad. But as you noted, the main thing is not to get carried away by this - the German, although he seems pessimistic and indifferent to some things, in fact tried to find something positive even in the bad or just relieve the tense atmosphere.
- Do you think so?
- Of course. How could you imagine your house? You could imagine how it would look in real life?
- Yes, but I'm not sure I could build one like that. It would be difficult and would involve a lot of expenses. Both financial and material
- Even if you succeeded?
- If it worked out... hm - Jost fell silent, distracted from the discussion. His gaze was directed downwards, straight at the floor. He was not interested in either the floor covering or its texture. Looking into the void, he plunged into thought, imagining a picture that appeared in his mind - I think I would be able to spend more time alone with myself. To arrange. So that home comfort would blow from everywhere.
- What about the other rooms?
- I think they will have their own aesthetic purpose. Just to be there. Although they would find a purpose too. I would invite you to my place
- Yeah? - Aggu is slightly surprised by such a statement from his interlocutor. Their conversation was so naive and childish. With serious faces and reasoning, they talked about what children usually talk about. Sometimes you want to be a child for a while, not think about problems and all these adult concerns. Just have meaningless discussions, enjoying each other's company.
- You bet! - exclaimed Jost - I can just imagine how we could run from one room to another, just go crazy, like the most-most naughty boys. Spend all day at the console. You can think of a lot of things to do. Or here: how about just lying on that platform with the mill all day? Enjoying the big structure nearby, sitting there and looking at the clouds or how other people's lives go. And at the same time, you don't notice how quickly our time is slipping away.
- Idleness isn't always bad
- It seems like everything is fine for you. Even the stupidest or most useless waste of time brings you pleasure - Klein is distracted from his thoughts, completely perplexed by such an answer. It seemed as if August was trying to agree with him out of politeness, or he was just a fool.
- And I never said that I like to spend time stupidly. Sometimes I just want to, as you say, come and sit in such a place. Just enjoy the moment. That I am, that I could just be in such a house, in a damn mill. Even in the company of someone. With you, for example. And so. We lie there, each thinking about his own and...
-Would you like to?
- Yes, probably. Even though I don't understand you sometimes. I don't understand your words, your thoughts, your state, but there is something that we could do together without interference or any other hassles. This is probably the best option - silence. This sudden moment of revelation with each other makes both guys think. Each about their own.
Jost again turns his attention to his drawing. It was with it that it all began. Since the very morning, after their conversation, Jost, as usual, draws this picture in his head. These thoughts make him feel better. It is so nice to think about how one could spend time in a house that does not exist, never existed and never will exist. But it does exist. It is in his head, on the right page of the book spread, it is in his soul and thoughts. A place where he could dream without stopping. Continuing to continue dreaming and enjoying this comfort with someone. To create, to think, to dream and just to live. It is useless to waste time. With someone who was not indifferent to his ideas.
- I think I'll work on it a little more and I'll be happy to show it to you again when I come here again. I promise. - said Jost. But, to tell the truth, he had no idea when they would be able to meet again in the near future.
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chatlote · 1 month ago
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To be smaller than your shadow.
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horrorwomen · 4 months ago
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Fatal Frame III: The Tormented (PlayStation 2, 2005)
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lunar-system · 7 months ago
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Edward Teach: The Star.
Adapted from the traditional Ride-Waite-Smith tarot, this version of the Star shows Ed kneeling down serenely by the spring of life, bare to the world, ready to heal after tumultuous events.
Stede as the Sun to follow, Izzy as the Moon can be found here.
Longer exploration of the card's symbolism under the cut.
***
The Star: Hope, openness, especially after a crisis. Renewal, healing, restoration.
Rachel Pollack writes: "This is the calm after a great change, whether it comes after a drastic planetary shift or a personal upheaval. There are still difficult times ahead, but the Star tells us to trust."
In the card Ed is depicted with a short, growing beard. Multiple personal upheavals and great changes have already happened, and he is settling into a new reality. Who is he when he is stripped from titles, uniforms and roles? In the space of the Star, he has enough trust to try and find out.
Pollack continues: "In Star, we find our inner strength and belief. The Star teaches us to accept whatever it is, to drop all our shields, to believe. The water poured out signifies healing, emotional and physical."
Ed as the Star is learning to shine his own light after witnessing Stede shine as the Sun. Trust and belief don't come easy, but as the Star he can be vulnerable enough to try again. The water flows from an infinite source, letting the emotions come and go.
Even though the Star opens up towards a bright future, Ed carries his history with him. His tattoos, pictures from other tarot cards, tell about his past:
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Chest: Three of Swords, the infamous card of heartbreak. "Trust no one."
Left side thigh: the face of the Devil from the Devil card. One of the largest tattoos he has, projecting his self-image. "I'm the devil."
Right side thigh: Lobster from the Moon card, a beast that lurks under the surface, in the unconscious. "I'm the Kraken."
Right side: wolf from the Moon card. In my depiction of the Moon, Izzy stands for the wolf. Here the loyal wolf is cast to the side, left howling after the broken heart.
Belly: Ram from the throne of the Emperor, a symbol of masculine power. The placement on the lower belly suggest a trans reading of the character.
Chest, around the heart: birds from Ace of Cups, suggesting new beginnings even for a broken heart.
With his past carved to his skin, Ed is kneeling at the edge of land. One of his feet is planted firmly on the ground while the other graces the water. In Tarot, earth is often connected to the material, such as the body, and the conscious mind. Water is the element of emotions and the subconscious. At the edge of the water, Ed is in balance, grounded both in his body and in his emotions, the conscious and the subconscious. The water he pours rejuvenates them both.
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TL;DR: After great personal upheavals, Ed as the Star is ready to heal and trust. He carries his past with him, but is ready to shine his own light and have faith in himself and for the future. He is vulnerable and at peace, and he is connected both to the ground and the water, nourishing them both with the water he pours.
***
Sources
Image source: Pamela Colman Smith, 1909, republished as Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany
Text source: Rachel Pollack, A Journey of 78 Steps, 2011, as cited in the booklet for instruction and guidance of Tarot of A. E. Waite, 2016, AGM-Urania, Germany
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pharawee · 6 months ago
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"Today love triumphed prejudice ... after fighting for more than 20 years, today we can say that this country has marriage equality." [source]
—WANDEE GOODDAY THE SERIES · วันดีวิทยา · Episode 8
Bonus:
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sualne · 8 months ago
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cross guild playing uno, vamp au edition.
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hoshinasblade · 6 months ago
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second best |2| hoshina soshiro
PART 1 | PART 2 | BONUS: PART THREE
pairing: hoshina soshiro x f!reader genre: slight angst, comfort, childhood friends to lovers, a bit of that miscommunication trope snippet: hoshina soshiro always ranks second at everything in his life. god forbid he falls behind in the bid for your heart too. word count: 2.5K trigger warnings: author's note: hello, reposting the part 2 because of hiccups from saturday when i posted it first (tumblr blocked my blog lol). likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated but please do not copy or steal my works. in celebration of this blog reaching 100 followers recently, i have written a bonus part 3 which will be posted within this week. my taglist form is here, and feel free to let me know your thoughts by sending me an ask through here. using my degree correctly by writing hoshina fanfics yes
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you aren't sure when things changed between you and hoshina soshiro.
when you were young, you would have understood that he didn't have the attention span to deal with you. he wasn't exactly shy, but you wouldn't call him friendly too - unlike you, who has taken it upon herself to be friends with all the children in the small neighbourhood. unfortunately for you, only the hoshina brothers are at the same age as you are, and at that time you thought that was a sign that fate was giving - you ought to be close to them.
you won't deny that you were fonder of the hoshina brothers than anyone when you started school. if you are being honest, you like them more than any of your expensive dolls or toys. being an only child, you thought it was only natural to want someone to be with - to want someone to share things with.
the brothers would have their endless training sessions every day, and though you did not know how to swing a sword then, you insisted to your parents - and theirs - that you must join them. sometimes you would be sitting on the floor just watching them, and frequently you would be the one keeping count of the score between soshiro and soichiro when they spar.
soshiro has never won a single match against his brother when they were kids.
but you didn't mind. you still preferred him over soichiro.
in fifth grade, you bought him the biggest cake your meagre savings could buy. it wasn't much really, but you won't forget how wide his eyes went when you lighted the candles and sang him the happy birthday song albeit out of tune. the next year, you gifted him a small keychain - a teddy bear in a purple kimono. you never saw him use it.
it wasn't until years after that you worked out what your feelings for him were. the girls from your class would make small talk and ask if you have a boyfriend now and then. you would say no all the time. at sixteen, you felt like you didn't need to be in a relationship - because you have soshiro, you said to yourself - and that was when it hit you.
every time soshiro would talk to you after that, you would peek in your little compact mirror, worried he had miraculously discovered your secret, afraid that maybe your face had given it away. he caught you doing that once, and he accused you of attempting to be pretty for him.
"is it me ye're trying to be cute for?" he volunteered to carry your bag on your way home but you declined. you didn't want to start assuming things; you knew he was just being nice.
"ya wish," you deflected effectively.
"well, whoever it is for, they're in for some trouble", he commented, and you chose not to read too much in his words. you realized how the walk to your house always seemed to be shorter when you were with soshiro.
when you turned eighteen, you asked your mom what it meant to be in love. she was the last person you had wanted to ask - your parents had broken their perfect marriage not long ago, your father choosing to abandon your mother and you. soshiro taught you the basics of kendo during those hard months. "i'll even let ya beat me", he said to you.
"it's when you care for them so much that you will go as far as to let them go because you wanted them to be happy," your mother answered.
soshiro did not have the decency to say goodbye when he left himeji. you wanted to celebrate with him, and it wasn't like you weren't familiar with his plans to move after graduation. you used to stay up late with him, and inevitably the conversation would steer to his dream of getting out of your town. he would say that it's to expand his horizons - for his growth - but you like to give yourself some credit because you know him too well to simply believe that. you can tell that he needs a place to stretch his wings and be the best - somewhere he can be better than his brother.
and maybe you are really your mother's daughter - you let hoshina soshiro go because you thought it would make him happy.
"vice-captain, platoon leader said ye're needed at operations." you saluted and walked inside his office. "get yer ass in there, were the exact words actually," you added, intending it to be a joke.
soshiro didn't even look up from the file he had been staring at since you came in. he's been like this for days after you were sworn in the defense force. you would bump into him in the hallways of the training building or sit at the same table with him for lunch, and he wouldn't speak to you at all. if you didn't know better, you would think that finally, after all these years, he is now aware of your feelings. but that would be impossible, because not only the other recruits would not dare to rat you out, but also because soshiro would not be acting this way if he knew.
"v-vice captain?" you repeated.
soshiro hummed. "i heard ya the first time, officer," he said, his glance on you so cold you felt it from where you stood. it wiped off the smile you were wearing that morning.
"ya can go," he said once more after he noticed you didn't move. "or d'ya need anything else from me?"
"no, vice-captain." you were almost out of the door when you remembered something else. "one more thing, hoshina-san," you faced him again, the way you said his last name soft against your own lips. "soichiro-kun will be visiting again tomorrow so we can go to himeji together -"
"do ya belong to the sixth division?" soshiro cut you off. "i didn't know ya transferred."
"i - i'm not -" you were still trying to look for the appropriate response when he interrupted you again.
"then why are ya spending so much time with him? d'ya wanna move to his jurisdiction?" soshiro is standing now, whatever he was reading earlier long forgotten.
it was difficult to reconcile this distant man in front of you with the boy you used to chase after during your childhood days. the one who would bring you an extra boxed lunch because you told him before that his bento tastes so much better than yours. the boy you fell in love with. you had both grown up, and taken different paths at a time, yes, but you did not expect to struggle so badly to find common ground with him. "im sorry, vice-captain, i'll be off now." it felt like a huge chasm had opened in the middle of the room that determined to keep the two of you worlds apart. you turned to leave, and you heard him mutter something.
"if ya wanted to keep going on dates with my brother, ya shouldn't have gone here."
there is only one thing sharper than his katana and it is hoshina soshiro's mouth.
pain swirled inside you, threatening to spill over. when you couldn’t keep the turmoil in any longer, you snapped.
"what is yer problem?!" your pitch reached a high octave that soshiro was shocked at the outburst. "did i do anything? cause yer being mean, soshiro," you pressed on, stepping closer to him. it didn't escape him how you dropped the title off his name, and the honorifics, too. he was about to respond, but you didn't give him the chance. "look, i know yer not on good terms with soichiro-kun, but he’s my friend."
"like i needed to be reminded." sarcasm coated his retort. "ya know what? ya can marry the guy and i won't even care. do whatever ya want", he said, dismissing you in a harsher tone
your forehead scrunched and your eyebrows met in confusion. "what are ya talkin' about? no one is getting married -"
soshiro's laugh was bitter. you recoiled at the offensive sound. "i'm not the one going around telling everyone she's in love with soichiro-kun.”
there was a loud ringing in your ears; you couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and you were suddenly afraid that this conversation is unfolding into something else entirely. “i never said that,” you protested. “i never told anyone i was in love with him. i don’t know where you’re getting this from.”
soshiro’s expression remained stoic and unreadable. “i heard you say it at the izakaya”, he murmured.
breath was knocked out of your lungs and panic started to rise within you. “i never told anyone i was in love with him”, you repeated. you tried to rewind every second of what happened in the party thrown for the new officers nearly a month ago. everyone was drinking and having a good time after the sworn-in ceremony. commander ashiro and the vice-captain had to leave ahead. your fellow newbies grilling you on your history with hoshina soshiro.
“save it.” hurt was evident in soshiro’s voice; his eyes glimpsed at you briefly, and you saw an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher flicker. soshiro’s expressionless mask faltered for a moment, revealing a glimpse of vulnerability. although you don’t have a clue how he would have heard it when he went with commander ashiro that night, the desire to straighten things out overtook you.
for a split second, the burden of the truth hangs heavily on your tongue. you gave in to the desperation.
“i never told anyone i was in love with him”, you reiterated, hoping he would understand this time. “because it’s you i’m in love with.”
there were multiple occasions in the past where you almost admitted what he meant to you; you had pictured a thousand scenarios in your head where you declared your love, but all of them did not include the part where soshiro would respond.
you thought confessing would ease the ache in your heart, but it was the opposite. "i didn't know how to tell ya, and that's my fault. but how could i? ya didn't even bother to say goodbye to me when ya left home." it was taking everything of you to hold your tears back, and ignoring the obvious tremble in your voice, you continued. "did ya know i taught myself how to pray after ya were gone? i thought it was the only thing i could do for ya."
"i didn't know", was all soshiro could say. he looks in distress, still grappling with your bold confession.
a loud knock on the door broke the tension. “vice-captain, they made me fetch you,” okonogi said from the hall.
“well, now ya do.” you turned away just when soshiro strode towards your direction, running after you. you were faster than him, and despite the possibility that you would be seen coming from the vice-captain’s office crying, you twisted the doorknob and ran.
it is still hot when you sit down on a bench at the rooftop of the third division's training building.  you welcomed the cool breeze, however, and you noted that at this altitude, everything from far away looks considerably smaller.
you missed two important briefings this afternoon already, and your team is most certainly searching frantically for you everywhere. you are definitely going to be scolded by your superior. yet you couldn’t bring yourself to discard the little comfort being alone had given to you, especially after such an emotional confrontation. you sighed, exhaustion slowly crawling all over you. lost in your thoughts, you did not notice the soft footsteps approaching until a familiar voice tore through the silence. the cold breeze blew, making you shiver a bit.
“hey,” soshiro called out. you freaked out, immediately looking for a space to hide at. “i already saw ya,” he let you know.
he held out a keychain in front of your face, a tiny bear in a faded purple kimono with the string attached to its head dangling from his forefinger. you recognized it instantly - you got it for him when he turned 12 years old. he sat beside you, not concerning himself with asking for your permission.
“the first few days were the hardest”, he began, and you listened. “i was too used to seeing ya every day, but when we were apart, i convinced myself i would forget how ya look like. i didn’t.” he offered the keychain to you and you took it - the bear’s fur worn out and old to your touch. “i hold that thing whenever i start to miss ya.”
shock was etched on your face and your gaze darted to him. “is it too late now to say that i love ya?” he whispered, his face mirroring the sincerity of his tone. sunlight bathed the rooftop as soshiro’s words hung in the air, leaving you breathless and stunned. you gasped. “maybe i should have told ya sooner. but i have been in love with ya for a while now.”
you leaned into his shoulder, and you quietly cried.
“i don’t think i have been anybody’s first choice in anything, so it didn’t enter my mind that ya would probably feel the same.” his hand found yours and you relished on the warmth.
“your brother advised that i tell ya, ya know?” you said between sniffles.
he chuckled. “he didn’t do an excellent job at that, did he now?”
silence ensued; his thumb tracing patterns on the back of your hand, your head on his shoulder still - your breathing still a mess from everything that has been said. “i’m sorry i hurt ya. let me spend my whole life making it up to ya,” he proposed. the promise made your heart skip a beat.
for the first time in a long time, you gave him a smile - the one you have reserved just for him, the one you made sure to convey everything you wanted to tell him. there are a lot of other things you feel the need to ask him, but this will suffice for now. this is more than you ever had in your whole life.
“i can’t believe we wasted so much time dancing around our feelings. that one time i wanted to hit one of our classmates because he was being pushy with ya, d’ya remember that?” he reminisced. “anyone can have everything in the world, and the only time i would crack is if it is ya being taken away from me.”
all your dreams pale in comparison to your reality now.
out of the blue, you heard soshiro giggle. “does this mean ya were telling the newbies that night that it was me ye’re into?” he stared at you, and you can’t help but see him as the little boy you grew up with. this is the man i love, you said to yourself. you squeezed his hand.
you didn’t respond. all you know is the color of your cheeks surely rivals the pink of the skies as the both of you watch the sun sets.
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yueebby · 4 days ago
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hi does anyonw still remember emperor!gojo and syth
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encion-posting · 9 months ago
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Kinito get's transported to the backrooms trying to get to the real world
this is so sad guys.
im going to cry.
also, some MS paint stuff based off my Kinitopet short story thingie
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idiot-mushroom · 7 months ago
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casey got stabbed :((
vol.1 arc masterpost
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muskat505 · 2 months ago
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barack-fa · 6 months ago
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Sketch dump🤤
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rakiah · 2 years ago
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Akanda & Akedya Siam
▪️Bio
They grew up in a wealthy family in Scalding Sands, their mother is a famous opera singer and their father a Spelldrive pro player, striker for the Burning Sands team.
Both parents are beastpeople, mama is an Abyssinian cat and papa is a tiger.
They’re always together. Never have been separated.
Love their mama a lot and so does she.
Incredibly good swimmers thanks to their dad, unlike their mama who can’t bear it.
▪️Facts
Doing mischief since birth because only their parents can identify which is which.
Their UM appeared when they were 5, consequently they were assigned a special teacher to teach them how to manage their magical power.
Each of them has his own voice but they learnt to speak the same voice at a very young age.
They like shiny things because their mama used to wear a lot of golden bracelets. When they were kittens, she left some of her jewels in their basket to help them sleep when she was performing.
They bite/chew a lot so beware. Can't always say if they do because they like you or they want to annoy you.
▪️School life
Wished to be in Scarabia but ended up in Pomefiore. They fully accepted their fate after seeing Vil.
End up a lot in Scarabia nonetheless for napping under the home-like sun.
Like to hangout with the freshmen (not a shared feeling for most of them) but usually go by themselves.
They’re pretty good students but their attention span is really low. They constantly need new interactions to not lose their focus.
They don’t like reading. Utterly. But someone reading for them can make them deeply attentive and quiet.
▪️Relationships
Vil — Admiration, their new shiny mama
Kalim — Friend (bonus homeland pal)
Jamil — Dislike very much, too sneaky
Silver — Nap friend, he’s like a magnet if Silver sleeps they have to sleep on him too
Floyd — Meal Enemy to Partner in Crime
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horrorwomen · 4 months ago
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Backgrounds ripped from Clock Tower: The First Fear (PlayStation, 1997)
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hellertears · 2 years ago
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in my toxic man era :p
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xxyamaxx · 6 months ago
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Can’t let the fandom know I ship this wannabe CarDon
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