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#this is the blessing I didn't even know I needed
whatdudtheysay · 2 days
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Part 1.
Lemme cook....
Y'all I'm thinking of.... Royal army leader Toji whose life long goal was... You. Your kingdom.
He wanted it all. Ever since he met you when you first turned 18, he was infatuated. You were graceful, kind, beautiful, soft, generous....fuck.
But life wasn't fair. He was the head of the royal army, not some ditzy prince who'd meet you at a ball and fill your little head with compliments and promises of affection...only to take control over your kingdom as a husband should do.
And was the kingdoms only heir, that was what would happen. He even heard you crying to your lady's maid about it one night while he was heading to your father's study.
Poor little thing.
Toji wanted you. No...that was an understatement. He needed you. He needed you so bad It was painful. He'd treat you better than any of those annoying Princes. He would worship any breath you took....
But like he knew....life wasn't fair.
Little did Toji know....you had somewhat of a crush on him too.
On the day you turned 18 and had the most boring birthday party, most of it was spent sitting down on the third throne your parents had created for you. Or...paid for it to be created. They hated getting their hands dirty.
Comfortable but not too much. Pure gold they said. It was becoming boring. But you couldn't complain. You were blessed to be born as the princess. The only princess of your kingdom.
So, you sat straight, chin up with a soft smile as thousands of villagers and merchants came through, giving you different gifts, gold, jewellery... etcetera.
You wanted to use the excuse of needing the bathroom but just then, the trumpets sounded and in came the royal guards. Your eyes lightly widened when you saw him.
First lieutenant, Fushiguro Toji.
He was tall as shit and handsome as hell. 6ft and 2 inches of pure perfection....those forest green eyes, that scar that slashed against his lips...his muscular physique. He was more of a man then those princes your parents have been trying so hard to introduce you to.
He dropped to his knee to bow deeply to you, his men doing the same.
"it is my pleasure to finally meet you, your Highness." Toji greeted. "May I?"
You nodded slightly, stretching your hand out. Toji smirked in a way that had your heart skipping unhealthy beats as he moved closer, taking your gloved hand in his before pressing a gentle, almost tender kiss against your hand.
Your father noticed whatever was going on between you and cleared his throat, prompting Toji to gently let your hand down as if you were made of glass.
He gave one last bow before leaving .
Now that was a man you'd be fine with marrying....
.
That night, Toji was pulled aside by none other than the king himself.
"Lieutenant Fushiguro....I'd be grateful if you didn't openly ogle my daughter." Your father told him in a firm but calm way.
"ogle?" Toji raised a brow.
"Yes. Ogle. Besides I'll need your assistance. The Duke from the northern regions will be here this Sunday morning to meet my daughter. You'll guard them." Her father ordered.
Toji kept quiet. He knew what your dad was doing.
It was the royal and rich way of telling him to "mind his place."
But Toji stayed steely gazed and nodded.
"of course, your Highness." He spoke flatly.
Your father gave him one last lingering glance before walking off.
He sighed deeply and glanced at the way your father disappeared.
Sure, your father said he shouldn't ogle you...but he never said he couldn't talk to you. Plus, he'd be in the palace for a while...
What better than to acquaint himself?
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I wanna make this a series so y'all, lemme know 𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚
A/n - Y'all I'm so sorry about the taglist and all but I'm so disorganised. I'll get the people from the last taglist together and then try to get shit together<3
STILL TRYING TO WORK ON THE MASTER LIST.
Tags - @flamey-comet, @smolbeanzzz, @pandoraium, @hana-patata,
Thanks for support ↑ - if you wanna be added just ask <3
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hencheri · 1 day
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ok it's short but fuck do i need him bad pls god
18+. mdni.
pairing: mean!chenle x fem!reader
warning: dubcon.
.
chenle didn't think you would've been desperate enough to accept — or to beg him, rather. glistening eyes staring up at him, pleading look drawn on your face, hand pulling on his hoodie... he thinks he's never seen you so pitiful.
he tries to hide his grin, but it's difficult to stop the corner of his mouth from tugging upward, chest swelling up in pride like he's just won a prize.
you can't afford another bad grade, and so chenle is your last chance, even if it means your dignity will take a bad kick.
"i'll- i'll do it," you cry, "please, just help me. i can't fail," you say in a broken whine, lips trembling.
your hand wraps around his arm, refusing to let him go. his back is leaned against his car, the icy air of autumn hitting him in the face, brushing his hair away from his forehead.
chenle wants to laugh, but he holds back. if you're up to whoring yourself out for good grades, so be it. not everyone's blessed with great intelligence, and it's fine, he can't blame you for not being as smart as him.
he lets you in his car, going to the backseats and making you kneel between his spread legs. you know what to do, you're the one who begged to suck his cock after all, not him.
your lips glide over his length, throat constricting around it in a way that has him moaning out in pleasure. your eyes are still glossy, still looking at him like he's the only one that can save you.
he feels it how desperately you need his help, how badly you want that good grade, and chenle will sure be happy to give it to you.
"fuck," he sighs, head rolling back on his shoulders, hitting the headrest behind. he gazes down at your mouth, at your lips wrapped around his cock, moving up and down hastily.
you tuck your hair behind your ears, eyebrows frowned, making yourself seem oh so miserable. you want to be pitied so bad, but you're just another girl who thinks she's worth something when the only thing she's good at is being a slutty hole to fuck.
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nonushu · 16 hours
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jealousy's a disease - choe hansol
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genre: fluff, bestfriends to ???...🥺😊 | wc: 840 | non-idol!vernon x reader a/n: ok fineeeeee i'll stop writing for vernon now haha...
you hate him for this. you hate the way he sits there so beautifully, so blissfully, making you gawk at him—does he even know? does he know how his skin glows in the sun, or how gracefully his lashes flutter? does he even know how-
"what?"
vernon's voice cuts you out of your trance, his body facing you on the other side of the couch. his headphones rest around his neck as he stares at you in concern.
you raise your eyebrows, confused. "what?"
"i dunno, you were just... looking at me weird," he says, narrowing his eyes.
"was i?" you say softly, putting your book down, "well, sorry, didn't mean to weird you out."
he blinks, those eyelashes fluttering, again. "nah, it's cool,"
you nod, feeling something subtle building as you pretend to read, flipping to a random page. but vernon catches the shift in your expression.
"you okay, though?"
you perk up at him, meeting his suspicious gaze. "why would i not be okay?"
"'cause you're being kinda weird," he tuts, removing headphones to place them on the table. "did i do something?"
you sigh, mirroring his movements, placing your book down next to his headphones. "i don't know, vernon. did you?"
"well, no..." he mumbles, clearly muddled, "did you do something?"
"what? no," you scoff, feeling a little flustered. "no one did anything."
a pause falls over the room as the two of you stare at each other, the tension almost palpable. vernon shifts awkwardly before speaking again. “do you… not want me to stay anymore? i can leave if-”
“no!” you blurt out, your body instinctively inching closer to him on the couch. “why would you think that?”
“i don’t know!” he says, raising his hands defensively. “i just thought you were staring at me because you were getting sick of me or something.”
your heart skips a beat at his words, the sudden rush of panic rising. because the last thing you want is for him to leave.
"i wasn't," you quickly say.
he tilts his head. "okay... then what's wrong? you're acting..."
you open your mouth to respond but nothing comes out. how do you even explain it? how do you tell him how he makes you spiral from just being... him?
you cautiously reach your hand to face, finger lingering over his eye. you can see how his brown orbs widen at your sudden closeness as you softly touch his lashes. "has anyone ever told you that you have lashes to die for?"
vernon's breath hitches, his eyes fluttering. his lips part at the comfort of your touch. "uh," he mumbles, blinking rapidly when you pull your hand away. a faint blush creeps his neck, and he lets out a nervous chuckle. "n-no? that was kinda random."
you smile even though your heart races. "well, consider yourself blessed by the gods. i'm a little jealous..."
"of my eyelashes?" he asks, deadpanned.
"yeah..." you say quietly, "i don't know what you did in your past life to be so treasured."
he scoffs, “yeah, okay," he says, shaking his head with a playful smile. "i’m not sure i’ve ever been called ‘treasured’ before.”
you lean back against the couch, trying to steady your breath, and vernon watches you with a growing curiosity.
“is that what’s been bothering you?” he teases, his smile widening. “my lashes are just too nice?”
you glance at him, a bit annoyed by how easily he brushes it off. “maybe,” you murmur, though you both know it’s more than that.
"or," vernon’s smile falters, and his eyes narrow slightly like he’s starting to piece things together. "you're just jealous of my charms.”
you blink, caught off guard by his bluntness. “what? no, I didn’t say-”
“y'know, y/n, jealousy’s a disease,” he interrupts, grinning again, though there’s something softer in his gaze now, like he’s not entirely joking anymore. “do you need me to take you to the hospital? or should I call someone?”
you roll your eyes, feeling flustered. “don’t be stupid. i’m not actually jealous.”
but vernon doesn’t let it go, leaning closer, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “oh, but you kinda are, though. and I don’t think it’s just about my lashes.”
you can feel your face heating up under his stare, and your pulse quickens. “i don’t know what you’re talking about,” you mutter, crossing your arms.
he’s closer now, his tone gentler. “i think you do.”
your heart pounds in your chest, the playful banter suddenly taking a turn you didn’t expect. you meet his gaze, and the teasing light in his eyes fades, replaced by something else.
and in that moment, you realize: you’re not just jealous of his lashes, his effortless charm, or how everyone seems to adore him. scratch that, you're not even jealous! (maybe just a smidge).
maybe its the fact that he might not feel the same way you do.
but as vernon’s hand brushes against yours, his fingers lingering just a little longer than necessary, you wonder if maybe—just maybe—he does.
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respectthepetty · 1 month
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I'm so glad y'all voted for me to watch Love in the Air, so I can become a hypocrite and fully root for Nagumo Shoma to fuck up a car and lie about it all so he can meet a boy.
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That's what this BL boy deserves.
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And that's what *I*deserve!
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kuromi-hoemie · 3 months
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it's so messed up you can't just pick a specific niche of magic to study in, and pursue it so deeply you cross the boundary into forbidden knowledge that corrupts, breaks and transforms you forever in mind, body and soul.
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silveredsound · 6 months
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How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.
I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)
On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)
Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.
I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.
Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.
I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.
But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.
But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.
And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.
But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)
I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.
But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.
The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.
And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.
God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱
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keeps-ache · 1 year
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i have my glasses now!! here are some things:
saw my mother clearly and almost cried
saw the parking lot and the sky and a tree and forgot to breath for a second
was so enamored with the Sky i tripped over a curb
the stars. oh my god the stars
#just me hi#HELLO#GOD BLESS THIS BEAUTIFUL PLANET WE ARE SO WONDERFULLY HERE#FORGOT TO MENTION THE MOON. SHE WAS STUNNING SHE WAS RED AND ORANGE AND YELLOW AND SHE WAS PERFECT#YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW ENCHANTING A GROCERY STORE REALLY IS UNTIL..!!!#and i HATE the grocery store man!!!#/my mother was wondering how it looked to me before the glasses and i drew a quick thing to show her hfsvh#it suddenly hit me the utter power of a vision and any intent i'm. i'm going to be making art forever aren't i#//but the SKY let me tell you about the SKY#it was wispy with white and that shade of blue we know so well was so much more shocking i can't!! describe!!!#AND THE SUNSETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT#THE SUNSET. YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND#it WAS. it was grey and blue and SUCH a vivid hot-pink it's seared into the backs of my eyes like a vision of something sacred#/TRY and tell me everything wasn't made deliberately. like everything wasn't woven with love and the intention of wild beauty. i'll bite yo#//MY MOTHER. SHE IS SO LOVELY#she looks so much older and she makes my throat hurt and i'll think about how she looked in that costco forever Lol#/my FACE HOLY LANDS#i didn't expect to look so textured!!! i need to look at myself more i felt so many things looking into that little mirror!!!!#/my DAD my SIBLINGS my HANDS our CAR i'm going to live forever in a world that is so much more rough and utterly bewitching#//today was beautiful and i could go on waxing forever but!! now i have energy to run off and thoughts to think so!!#toodles !! :DD
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hothotpot · 1 year
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ah yes, pointing out that words have meaning and things aren't just what you say they are bc you say so is "manipulative." I am BEGGING people to get some basic critical thinking skills.
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tzufcallsmeshomps · 9 months
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my neighbors lost their son and even though it's not my personal immediate loss i hurt all over because it hit so close to home again
he was friends with my brother and his sister is a childhood friend of mine we'd meet in shul and we'd all have shabbat studies with our dads
i didn't recognize his picture at first because he grew up so much and I hadn't been in touch with them in so long i don't know how or whether to reach out because our circles barely touch now but
he was out there protecting us with so many others of our families and that makes him family too- as well as the other three who fell that day
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maraeffect · 11 months
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finally got my stupid piece of shit mediport replaced today !!!! the doctor who did the replacement was like, " oh, no wonder it sucks. they did [list of like 4 things] SEVERELY wrong". so fuck Orlando Health!!!! let's pray that this new one Actually Functions bc i was so sick of having to literally perform gymnastics to get the old one to MAYBE give blood 🙄🙄🙄
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an asagao academy animatic? in MY 2022?
all jokes aside, although this game has aged... incredibly poorly, it's still one of my favourite -- if not my favourite -- games of all time, and so much of my life would be different had i not stumbled across it.
so take this labor of love, from me to you, and from me to asagao academy, whether you're an old fan still following the tags, a new fan who dropped in remarkably late, or a current fan with way too much free time like myself :-)
as a side-note i haven't slept in a full 36 hours so i gotta go get to that. heart emoji. please watch this i spent like six days on it <3
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arsonway · 11 months
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Trust Issues
just my favorite red mage cosplaying black mage :>
#you know what makes me a little sad?#every time someone tells me i'm not a black mage main because “i always play red mage”#just because i didn't do the savage tier on black mage doesn't mean it's not my main#let me do black mage things in “filthy casual” content i like - ya know?#if they only do savage with me and and that's literally all the gameplay they witness me playing... like there's other content?#i immediately stopped progging after i got my glam lmao#i was not the biggest fan of the ascension weapons#i didn't even bother finishing p12s#so i guess i was done with the savage tier super early#all msq +first-time alliance+normal raid runs are on black mage for the chaotic suboptimal experience#but i won't grief my party by suddenly playing black mage in savage without practice#i won't prog savage on black mage when a ping spike will drop my enochian or cancel my despair cast#yes red mage hits like a wet noodle#yes people are overly reliant on res#yes red mage is so-called “easy”#but i'd rather prog faster and clear early over getting blamed for “slowing down prog” on black mage#may hydaelyn ever bless that path of party finder because we sure need it... jfc#i especially won't play black mage with people who i know will maliciously rescue me out of ley lines and intentionally drop aoes on me#leaning so far into that black mage meme for idk? giggles i guess? and wipes? like do you not want to clear?#the same people who say i'm not a black mage main will grief me during black mage play too#so idk maybe they haven't realized that they're part of the issue
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xcziel · 11 months
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i am not kidding BLESS those jeans
if someone is somehow reading my blog and sharing last night's critique of the baggy pants vs choreo precision issue i would just like to say you are doing the work of the gods thank you SO much
#jeon jungkook#there is nothing i embrace more than an all-black wardrobe and the lines on this times square look are just *chef's kiss*#bless the piercings bless the tattoos bless the black palette is all i can say#i know it's too cold on an outdoor stage rn to do the bare arms but fck if that didn't make the choreo pop even harder#i wanna get a still from that one instant with his right arm gesturing right before The Shoulder Move#bc it's insanely hot - just the line of his extended tattoed arm and his shoulder like#it CANNOT be overstated how expressive his gestures are and how the sleeveless look really highlighted that#have i watched the mv a disgusting amount of times? i have indeed#i'm sorry it's just EVERYTHING i have been asking for from a pop song for so long#the BASS the live instruments THE BRASS SECTION .... the *BASS*#if you have followed me for more than two seconds you've probably run into me expounding on my 'horn theory' of good pop music lol#i.e. if you want a really good power hit pop song you need a goddamn brass section#evidence: the 70s and 80s. ... even beyonce knows this#but also funk/disco bass trumps everything else and i would kill to have an extended remix done by AN ACTUAL BAND#the current remixes don't add anything for me - i want an actual bass player going to town a la the disco extended plays of yore#maybe in the concert version ... kinda hoping jk takes inspo from yoongi's concert setup#i feel like that might have been part of the impetus behind recording with actual musicians#i can't believe that's so unusual these days - it's sad that i watched a reaction clip and the person was like#what sample is that?? what is that from??#and i'm like yelling at the screen it's an actual band that's how it's *supposed* to be#also can i say i love how he (and all the maknae line now that i think of it) makes it so clear when he's singing and when it's#the backing track - like no lip syncing/pretending just sticking to the bts standards for live performance vs like music show#thinking on it part of it may be that like the rap line *can't* really coast over a backing track so then vocal line doesn't either#(i say maknae line only in reference to this last year's recent live performances bc there've been multiple from each of them)#and he's outside and it's cold - that is HARD on the vocal chords#most of your diva singers - not that jk is a diva but he does have the range of one - like mariah or ariana would never#do that to their voices - i think he's just used to being the indestructable bunny#he better have people babying him tonight and giving him hot soup and tea with honey and vitamin c and idk ginseng#having the humidifier going and getting as much rest as possible to keep healthy
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skyteglad · 1 year
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the latest aita is making me sad. the teeth one. because like... when i was a kid, i was told to have braces! and that i'd need an eventual surgery! and because i didn't want to, my parents didn't make me.
that surgery would've changed my life. i'm not fucking kidding. i'm pretty sure 75% of my physical disabilities stem from not getting that surgery. and by the time i was able to bring up trying to have corrective work again, i was two years from losing my insurance, and my parents procrastinated. now it seems like a pipe dream it'll ever happen.
i get being resentful of your parents forcing you to do things you don't want to do, but god damn, if mine had actually really pushed me into getting braces, my life would be so much different and so much better.
#riot.txt#personal#vent#sorry i'm just. really emotional and maybe a lil triggered#bc SO MUCH of my physical and mental health problems can be stemmed to my jaw#and my teeth.#bc i didn't get that surgery i can't swallow easily. i can't take medication i severely need. my back and neck are bent in ways i can't und#due to lack of breathing. i can't sit up straight bc i can't breathe and that's caused so much damage to me!#if they'd have pushed me into caring for my teeth and my body it would've saved me SO much heartache and pain. i'll have no way of knowing#how different life would be#but i know for a FACT i wouldn't have certain issues i have now... i'd be on mental health medication i wouldn't have chronic pain i'd be#able to function in society without feeling like a burden who'll never be able to get on social security#idk im jst... PLEASE iff you have the chance to have orthopedic work done - DO IT.#if your PARENTS are going to be footing the bill and have good insurance i PROMISE thats a fucking blessing#bc i can't work anymore and the surgery i need that might fix a lot of my life is in the tens of thousands without insurance that i cant bu#anyways sorry to ramble n trauma dump but its my blog and if ANYONE sees this and it helps them or convinces them to get work done while#they can then. idk. feels worth it to be vulnerable :'3#EDIT: also like... if they'd forced me sure i'd be resentful#but ykw i am rn? even more resentful for the intense medical neglect that stemmed from 'well he doesn't want to so lets not make him'#most kids don't want to go to the doctor. maybe if they'd taken me regularily to a fucking doctor i'd have more answers for what's wrong wm#like... god i'd have hated braces then bc ofc i would i was a kid#but i hate even more now knowing just how fucking NEGLECTED i was as a kid bc they let me make my own choices by going the hands off approa#iunno. anyways. nah on that aita. you're allowed to be upset and resent him for it but GOD he is not an asshole for caring about you#'your body your choice' does not apply here at all. i'm so sorry to tell u this. fdkgfdhgkjdgd#EDIT 2: didn't even MENTION the fact i have dehibilitating chronic migraines and headache that i suspect are directly tied to my poor denta#health!! LIKE. AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK FOR THE ENTIRE DAY#SOMETIMES (OFTEN) MUTLIPLE TIMES A WEEK.#i only JST NOW got access to medicatio to help w it and i CAN'T. SWALLOW. THE MEDICATION THAT PREVENTS THE MIGRAINE FROM GETTING WORSE#I CAN ONLY SWALLOW THE DAILY MED... BC ITS _SO FUCKING TINY_.#aahghghfgdfhgdfjd -puts face in hands-
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andromedaexists · 1 year
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i'm facepalming rn i forgot that cults are like an actual thing and not just a trope in books omg
i've been dedicating too much of my brain to writing holy shit
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astrxealis · 2 years
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sometimes i think gbf is not that “wtf” then remember there was a mcdonalds collab aside from the one for red bull. and . bubs :)) and. recently they made a tsuchinoko snake hot af
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#⋯ ꒰ა gbf ໒꒱ *·˚#good gods i didn't know that the enemy for gw this time around is technically. the tsuchinoko snake#I SKIPPED THE INTRO AT FIRST BCS I THOUGHT IT WAS THE SAME AS ALWAYS BUT APPARENTLY NOT. this is really cool tho#bless h-word people on twt for helping me realize that the pretty enemy was a snake :)#glowing snake#THE GUY THE#THE GREEDY MAN JUST GOT BLASTED this feels like an xiv reference! /j#nozuchi ... wow#tbh i like how gbf does stuff like this like uhh shiva! compared to ff shiva it's closer to its actual origin. which is really cool#THE FUCKING SSHEEE IS KILLING ME what is with this game#and the APRIL FOOLS STUFF !!! even the people on the gbf wiki do hilarious things#haha hildibrand gbf and haurchefant :)) and haurchefant's skill names!!!!!! :)))))#and others like childe from the hit game genblue impantasy or however one would mix genshin and granblue and impact and fantasy together#i'm currently doing gw for gbf and posting on tumblr when i need to sleep soon bcs i wake at 5 for school and it is now 10 pm#and i also am going to apply for committees for our upcoming fair and the forms end in an hour (hashtag multitasker)#also i have xiv open but i have not. played. and also i was doing proseka autoplay just a bit ago#actually bless i think i'm good w gw now! crew rankings good and safe and so are individual rankings ^___^#man i should play during class to not waste ap /hj#good night in advance i rambled a lot here. not really. but YEAH#i'm exhausted wooooo (won't go to sleep yet)
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