#this is something else though. she made a career out of this but chose not to apply her skills to me | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

heyidkyay · 9 months ago

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Twenty-One

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: This is a long one, it took me a while but hopefully the waits been worth it? EMOTIONS is all I'm going to say.

Warnings: Lots going on- talks of car crashes, alcohol abuse (both in the past) also some previous thoughts on trauma and different coping mechanisms

> Last update: look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

It takes a second for change to implement itself, though it can take a while longer for its realisation to truly hit.

…

I could hear him.

Bustling his way around my kitchen, singing quietly as he worked on the breakfast he’d promised the night before. Tins clattered, the kettle whistled, and the fridge door rattled closed, all whilst I padded my way towards him, pausing in the entryway to simply take in the sight I’d been gifted.

I grinned over at Teddy, who was currently tiptoeing on the wooden stool I had tucked away for whenever he felt inclined to help me cook, and then at Matty who seemed happy enough with making him giggle whenever he chose to lean in close to sing by his ear.

“Thinking this through… It's like, one,”

“..TWO!” Teddy laughed back when Matty pointed at him, beaming brightly at the sight of the man’s all too amused face.

“Yeah, ‘cause I'm in love with you-”

“I-I-I-I!”

It was something I’d never thought to even picture, let alone see, my son staring up at a man with such adoration and pride. The two of them simply belonging. The whole scene made me ache with a wanting for it to never stop, but even the best of things had to come to an end I supposed.

Matty turned, a smile painting on his features, only to pause when he caught sight of me, watching them from the doorway. He narrowed his eyes, then gave me a sly smile, before he placed the plate he’d been holding down on the counter and shuffled on closer, arms stretching out towards me as he continued to sing along to his own song. I mean, the ego on him.

“… I’m in love with you.”

It was hard going, attempting to dampen the grin that pulled at the corners of my mouth, especially when Matty wrapped his arms around my hips and started to sway us to and fro. He raised his brows up at me, fully expecting me to finish off the song for him, so I rolled my eyes and laughed the final line out, accompanied by a much louder Teddy, “I-I-I-I-I.”

Matty leaned in close to press a quick kiss to the corner of my mouth, his tangled hair tickling my cheek. He chuckled lowly to himself when I wrinkled my nose at the feeling and tried to escape from his hold, but did eventually let me go.

“What are you even making?” I asked the pair of them around a fond smile, crossing the kitchen to ruffle Teddy’s curls and open up the little window there. I sniffed lightly. “Did you end up burning something too?”

Matty rolled his eyes at that and shook his head with a tut, before he moved to pick up his plate once more, sliding past Teddy and I to grab at the toast which had just popped up. “No.”

“Liar.” I laughed with Teddy, picking him up and settling him on my hip whilst Matty turned his back on us to start buttering the bread. “What’s with the big breakfast then anyway? I thought you had to record today.” I asked him, praising Teddy quietly for the way he’d spooned some sugar and two teabags into a pair of matching mugs for us.

“Later on,” Matty answered me in a quiet murmur as I peered over his shoulder to nick a fresh piece of toast. “Oi!”

Grinning around the bite I’d just taken, I was pleasantly surprised to find that it wasn’t completely charred. “Better than the last batch.” I told him honestly and with a wry smirk.

Matty just shook his head at me, but even as he turned back to the task at hand I could see the tiny beginnings of the smile he wore. “Said I could cook.”

With a sarky hum, I could only reply, “Does toast even count as cooking?”

I was simply swatted away with a tea towel in hasty retort and Teddy squealed, wriggling to be let down.

“Okay, okay!” I relented with a laugh of my own before I slid on over to press a grateful kiss to the side of Matty’s neck. “It’s very good, merci mon amour.”

I pulled away with a grin when I felt him tense beneath me, gesturing to Teddy for him to go ahead and grab the milk for us from the fridge whilst I began to pour the hot water into the tea he’d started.

“What are you up to today then?” Matty asked after having cleared his throat, tossing the butter-covered knife into the sink before he looked over at us. He thanked Teddy proudly when the little monster hurried back from dumping the tea bags in the bin to point at the man’s given cup. “Lifesaver!”

Teddy giggled happily.

Matty’s question had me chewing on the inside of my cheek as I went about lifting Teddy into his usual seat at the kitchen table and laying a plate in front of him. I smoothed down his tousled hair and didn’t quite look in Matty’s direction when I finally said, “You know, the usual… Quick trip to the shops, phone mum, speak to Finn, maybe pop into the park. I hear they’ve put in this new little greenhouse by the pond, you know, just across the bridge?”

I’d thrown it in there, hoping that he might just brush over it. But then Matty didn’t offer me an answer of any kind, so with nothing else to occupy myself with I slowly peered over to where he still stood, propped up against the kitchen counter.

He was staring down at the bowl of fruit he’d prepped sometime earlier, almost as though the grapes had suddenly grown legs and the banana pieces had turned purple. I sighed quietly to myself and felt my shoulders drop an inch before crouching down to whisper in Teddy’s ear, “Go turn on the tele for me, yeah? We can eat on the sofa today.”

Teddy’s entire face lit up at the very prospect and was so eager in his haste to hurry into the living room that he almost toppled out of his chair. I chuckled in fond exasperation, helping him down and handing him his plate with a quiet caution before allowing him to run off.

It was then that I turned my attention back to the main issue at hand.

We hadn’t spoken much of Finn and what had happened back at the studio. I’d given Matty his space after it had all gone down, allowed him the time to mull it over and hopefully forget the words that had been said, but I knew that had mostly been wishful thinking on my part.

Still, I was kicking myself for it now. We’d been good. Things had really been looking up; at work and at home, with Teddy and Matty, and then with Matty and I. Stupidly, I had thought that this might just be something we could have simply plastered over and left to settle, because admitting to the fact that things weren’t alright between two of the most important people in my life just wasn’t something I was ready to face yet.

I’d been selfish in that regard though, it seemed. Because of course Matty had taken the brunt of it all and pretended to shrug it off like it was no skin off of his nose. Leaving me to realise all too late just how much this whole thing had affected him.

“Matty.” I called to him softly before I gently rested my hand on the crook of his arm, testing if I was welcome. When he didn’t immediately shy away from my touch, I slid in behind him so that I could press my forehead to the curve of his back, to where that little dip in between both of his shoulder blades resided.

Thoughtlessly, my fingers trailed over the hem of the jeans he’d thrown on that morning, toying with the two belt loops which sat at the very centre.

We stood there for a long moment in the quiet space of the kitchen, the food going cold but neither one of us really caring. It was only when I felt some of that tension finally ebb in his shoulders that I slowly wound my arms around his middle, smiling slightly when I felt his hands take hold of mine at his front.

“I hate this.” I admitted to him, voice so faint it was muffled by the fabric of his t-shirt. His fingers squeezed my own.

“I know.” He told me after a small pause and I felt him raise his head to gaze out of the small window sat opposite. “I know, Squeaks. Me too.”

I squeezed back.

“I’m sorry we haven’t spoken about it either. That I let it fester. I just wished, hoped even, that you might not linger too much on it, that things would- I don’t know, just end up working out. But I was stupid.”

Matty heaved a weighted breath and I let my eyes slip closed at the motion before he carefully turned in my grasp. He stopped to stare down at me, lifting a hand to tuck a strand of stray hair behind my ear, thumb brushing over a whitened scar I had yet to hide with makeup.

“Don’t. There’s no need.” He murmured to me, though his gaze was focused on the slow movement he’d just made. “Talk to him. He’s your mate, it’d be weird if you didn’t. But, I don’t know. Reckon I just might need some time. That alright?”

I was already nodding before he could even finish his sentence, more than okay with that. “‘Course it is. Though I don’t know much about talking with him, I’m betting on a screaming match. I’m still fuming with how it all went down.”

Matty gifted me a soft chuckle, and although it was hollow he had tried and that was what mattered most to me. It would take time to move past this, I could understand that. “Let him explain first, yeah?”

I frowned, brow pinching with it. “What do you mean? What’s he got to explain?”

He smiled, one of those soft dopey ones of his, the kind he often gave me whenever I’d said something silly or he was humoured by my confusion. “I get it, Mouse.” He sighed quietly, “I don't like how he went about it, it was cheap, shitty even, but he was just looking out for you, babe.”

My frown deepened and I didn't care to give his words much thought. “There’s looking out for me and then there's being a massive prick, Matty.”

With a huffed breath of a laugh, Matty trailed his thumb down my jaw to skirt over the bottom edge of my lip. His eyes finally met mine. “He went about it the wrong way, but he’s been good for you, baby. Looked after you and Teds for years, got you through some hard times, and so for that I give him a little leeway.”

My expression softened.

Matty’s fingers pinched my chin as he coaxed me back up to meet his gaze.

“Do that for me?” He asked, and who was I to say no to an ask like that?

Instead of answering him though, I simply leaned in and kissed him sweetly, cradling his jaw in my hands so that I could thumb over the tops of his cheeks. I wondered, momentarily, where I’d gotten so lucky.

–

A kid in the studio had both its perks and disadvantages, Matty had soon come to see.

Squeaks had been messaging Finn not long before he’d gone to set off, slowly pulling out some clean clothes from the ever growing pile he kept adding to each time he went round to her flat, whilst Teds completed his phonics, sat on the bed.

He’d kept calling out to Matty whenever he’d stumble onto the next, asking him to sound it out for him before trying to memorise it himself. Matty had enjoyed it- enjoyed all the time he spent with the little monster as a matter of fact- but helping him with the lessons he knew that Teddy would soon carry on further into his life… He didn’t know, it just settled something within him. Made him feel needed.

He hadn’t ever felt much of that.

Anyway, Squeaks had come into the bedroom just as he’d been tugging on a jumper, one she had said she’d liked the last time he’d worn it, and mentioned that she had to get ready to drop Teddy off round Adi’s so that she could head on over to meet Finn.

Matty had tried to keep his expression fairly neutral each time she mentioned the man. Because he hadn’t lied earlier when he’d asked for her to give her mate the benefit of the doubt. But it still irked him. The whole situation did, in truth. See because he knew that he was running on fucking borrowed time here with her. He’d never claimed to have been a lucky man either, so he knew that something was bound to happen sooner or later. He was merely praying that he’d be able to hold onto this small bubble of peace he’d found for himself for as long as he possibly could.

Teddy had appeared put out by the fact that he would have to head on over to Adi’s, who still lived with her elderly grandmother. All pouty and sweet looking, proper cute in actuality, and Matty had honestly gone and spoken before his mind had even had a chance to catch up with his massive mouth.

Mouse had been just as surprised by his offer to let Teds tag along with him down to the studio, spilling out claims that it would be fine with the guys (who’d yet to even meet the tyke) and that they weren’t actually working on anything too big that afternoon (just recording the ending of a session). And even though Matty hadn’t exactly asked the lot of them beforehand either, he figured it to be true enough.

And with the relief that had visibly fallen off of Squeaks at his reassurance, Matty hadn’t had it in himself to regret the offer. So with that, he’d set to helping her get Teddy ready for the day and then headed out the door.

Thing was though, the last time he’d ever gotten the tube with a little kid had been years before when his mum had visited with Lou. And back then she’d been the one to worry over his every move, not wanting to lose him in the crowd or have him swept under a carriage. Gruesome yeah, but it was a real fucking fear Matty realised.

This time around it had been his turn though, and God, did he feel sorry for all the shit he’d given his poor mum throughout the years. Was this why parents looked so tired all the fucking time?

Teddy was good enough though, curious sure, always asking questions and pointing at everything, but he listened, held onto his hand and didn’t ever wander off. He’d enjoyed counting the stops on the train too and didn’t think much of the few stares they’d gotten on the platform and again when they’d sat down.

By the time they’d made it to the studio, Matty had felt as though he’d just gone and ran a half marathon.

It was only when Teds had crowded into his trouser leg upon first walking through the entrance that he realised that this was just as new to Teddy as it was to him, and the fact that he was now being forced into an unknown setting probably didn’t make things much easier for the kid.

Still, he had managed to perk up on the small tour Matty had given him. Wanting to ease his nerves before they ventured much further, it had just been the two of them wandering the halls aimlessly and simply nodding or smiling at the very few people who passed them by.

It was only once Matty had figured it time to head into the room the band usually booked did Teddy quieten again.

“Where’ve you been? Only texted you like twenty times!” Matty heard George huff from around the short corner they were hidden behind after he’d called out to let them know that it was just him.

Matty paused by the door to cast a glance down at Teddy, but the kid was already looking at everything the walls had to offer; the big plaques with the even bigger names, the posters and many album covers that dotted the dark paint. It was only when Matty crouched down to level with him did Teddy glance back.

“You alright, monster?” He asked quietly, wanting to give Teds a second to wrap his head around things. Matty noted that he was back to chewing on his lip again, eyes wide and unsure, but Teddy gripped onto the hand Matty silently offered him.

After a moment, Teddy nodded at the question and Matty gave him a hopeful smile. “Good, ‘cause imma need you to kick this sorry lot into shape for me, alright? I mean, I know I’m good but they can’t just depend on me for everything, can they?”

He was gifted a quiet giggle, one which eased Matty’s mind a tad.

“Matt!”

Matty rolled his eyes at the shout of his name then shook his head mockingly at Teddy, who seemed to have jumped a bit at the beckon. “Told you, didn’t I?” He tutted playfully to the boy, rolling his eyes too for added effect, “Fall apart if I’m not here.”

Teddy was back to smiling now, “Like mum.”

Matty laughed at the comparison, certain that Squeaks would say that she had a much harder job with the show than he did here in the booth. But Matty wasn’t too inclined to disagree, she worked far too hard in truth.

“Exactly, mate.” He replied anyway, then nodded in the direction of the many voices that were bouncing their way towards them, watching as Teddy peered round him once more, “You think you’re gonna be okay?”

Teddy blinked and then looked over towards him, it was in moments like these which Matty saw just how much he resembled his mum, he reckoned it was those big eyes of theirs that held so much emotion.

“Yeah.” The boy finally breathed out and so Matty squeezed his hand just once in support, before lumbering back to his feet. He stole a quick breath for himself and then started leading them both further inside.

George was stationed where he always was, by the decks, surrounded by laptops and many a monitor. Ross was sprawled out on the beanbag they’d lugged in on day three, fiddling with the bass he held in hand. Hann, however, had chosen to sit nearest to the door and so he was the only one to glance upon at their nearing footsteps.

Matty watched on as a flash of surprise flickered across his mate’s face. Brows rose and a slow blink was seen before Adam finally smiled, looking every inch the father Matty knew him to be.

“Just who might you be then?” Hann greeted cheerfully whilst tucking his mobile back into his trouser pocket. He didn’t make a move to get up off the settee corner though, something which Matty felt immediately thankful for, it seemed neither of them wanted to crowd the kid just yet.

It was with that greeting though that Ross’s head finally shot up and George turned to face them in his big fancy chair. The pair of them flicked both alarmed and shock filled gazes to Matty, who did his very best to ignore their all too familiar mugs.

“This is Teddy.” Matty acknowledged, crouching down once more so that Teds could lean further into his side whilst his wide eyes surveyed their way about the rest of the room. Matty wondered what it must’ve felt like for him, struggling to recall moments from his own childhood when his mum and dad had brought him along to their interviews to sit in the audience.

“Teddy love, these three doughnuts are my mates. You remember, the ones I’m in a band with?”

Matty let Teddy have a second, waiting quietly as the little boy dragged his gaze back towards him with parted lips, he blinked and then nodded, hands wringing the sleeve of Matty’s jumper.

Matty merely smiled, bringing the kid in closer to press a quick kiss to his head of hair. “Look, Teds. See that one there, with the funny face? That’s Hann.” He was delighted to hear Teddy’s soft laughter, however muted it was, even as Adam scolded him with an unimpressed glare. “Then in the corner there, that guy?” Teddy dipped his chin, eyes trained on the bearded bloke who was grinning away like a twat, “That’s Ross, he looks like a giant but cries when he’s hungry.”

“I do not!” Ross shot back scathingly, narrowed eyes pointed at Matty which only proved to fuel Teddy’s quiet chuckles.

“Yeah alright, MacDonald.” Matty ignored whatever else Ross attempted to say after that, rolling his eyes theatrically towards Teddy before he gestured over to where George was sitting in his chair, pushing those pretentious sunglasses he often wore up onto his shaved head. “And that one there, that’s G.”

Teddy leaned in close again to whisper in Matty’s ear, “Drums.”

Matty chuckled despite himself, loathing the fact that of course Teds would have remembered the drummer. Most did. “Yeah, mate. That’s him.”

George quirked a brow at the hushed conversation shared but said nothing on it, at least not then. Instead he just waved Teddy on over, “You want to come see? Got a ton of buttons you can press.” He added as though he was trying to entice the kid.

Matty dampened the mirthful grin that crawled up onto his face when it seemed to work though, even as Teddy tugged him along by their joint pair of hands.

By the time Matty finally got around to stepping into the booth to record a few verses a while later, Teddy felt comfortable enough to wait for him just outside the door with the three giant idiots he’d left him with.

–

A stalemate.

That was where we were currently sat.

Even with everything that had gone down, him starting this whole mess, I had been the one to go to him. To his loft where he worked most days when he wasn’t with clients, or visiting galleries.

Finn had welcomed me in with his usual hello through the intercom, buzzing me up into the building and then meeting me just past the front door. He’d been kitted up when I’d entered, still in his apron and covered in paint, the latter of which he was trying to wash off when I first spotted him.

He’d had the kettle already going and he smiled slightly after asking me how I’d been. I’d been truthful, said that I was doing good- all things considered.

There’d been an awkward pause at that, the two of us unsure on where we should then go with the encounter, but the kettle had whistled and on instinct I had turned to grab the mugs.

He had nodded gratefully, but then gestured me over to where his colourful sofa sat by the large open bay windows, joining me with two steaming brews not a minute later.

“How’s Teds?”

I licked at my lower lip at the question, peering into the still swirling mug. “Good, on Easter break soon enough.”

“What have they been working on then?” Finn asked next, because we both knew this was a safe topic, an easy starter.

“Phonics at the moment,” I replied with a small smile that couldn’t quite be helped, recalling the way Teddy had puttered around after Matty this morning calling out each sound he’d needed to learn. “He sounds them out after breakfast most days and then again at night.” We shared a brief smile, before I mentioned, “Matty’s been helping too.”

Finn hummed.

I pressed my lips together to keep from blurting out everything I wanted to say at the sound of it, attempting to stick to the plan I’d formed on my way over here. Letting Finn open up on his own, rather than come in all guns blazing.

“How is that going then?”

My brow pinched as I peered over at him from across the settee, “What, with Matty and I?”

Another hum, though this one was accompanied by a slight nod.

I was wary of how to answer Finn, especially after having learnt what the man truly thought about our whole relationship, but figured I should at least be honest.

“We’re happy.” I love him. “He’s good for me, I think.” It terrifies me. “He brings out a part of me that I haven’t seen much of since- I don’t know, maybe my first year of uni?” I let go of a breathy chuckle, picking at the wrinkled hem that sat at the knee of my jeans. “It’s been, really nice.”

When I chanced a glance back up, it was only to find Finn already looking back at me, his expression carefully set, almost as though he was trying to suss out any sort of lie in my answer. I waited a second and then he smiled. Nothing less than genuine, and I felt my whole body relax at the sight of it.

“I’m sorry for how I reacted.” Finn spoke softly, placing his cup down on a side table to slide on a tad bit closer. He rubbed at the back of his wrist before settling his hands in his lap, “I shouldn’t have gone about it the way I did, I just- You know I care so much, Mouse. And this is me in no way asking to be let off the hook or anything of the like, but, you have to remember I was there through it all.”

Frowning slightly at his words, I followed Finn’s prior motion, putting my own mug down so that I could pull a leg up under me, settling nearer.

He let go of an exhale, “I was there when you found out about Teddy, I was there before that and then after. I saw the line of broken hearts you left in your wake, chasing this thrill you sought so hard to find, and all of the games you wanted to play.”

He took my hand then and I just let him, thinking on his words, on how it must have seemed to someone else looking in from the outside. I knew I’d been a right mess after leaving home.

In truth, I’d been a mess since the night of the accident, when my whole world had been flipped on its head, turning me into this scarred little kid. Leaving me not only alone, but wanting to chase after everything I felt I’d missed out on because of it the second that I’d gotten the chance. Which had meant finding friends and casual sex, bar hopping and clubbing for days on end, looking for the next best thing to simply entice or excite me.

Finn had been there.

He’d been there through most of it, if not it all. He had watched me jump from guy to guy, get my stomach pumped at the local A&E, not just once but three times. He’d been the one I had turned to in my lowest moments, when I’d felt dirtied, when I’d just wanted to cry, or to merely laugh. He was there.

I could understand what Matty had meant now.

‘He looked after you and Teds for years, got you through some hard times, and so for that I give him a little leeway.’

“I can still picture your face, you know.” Finn murmured, stare fixed on the tight hold I now had on his hand. “That night you turned up at mine after finding out that you were pregnant. You looked a fucking state, soaking wet from the rain and wearing only your pjs.” We shared a light chuckle that echoed before drifting off. “It broke me, to see you like that.”

“I know.” I whispered in a rasp, emotions clinging to the back of my throat.

Finn only smiled sadly. “But it worked out. Enough that you seemed happy enough with what you had. And I know that Teddy will always be enough fro you, but you deserve so much. You deserve to live and to love, to have that family you’ve always dreamed of.” I went to protest but he just shook his head, “I know it’s what you want, Mouse. You don’t have to say anything for me to notice the looks you give other parents in the park, or the kids who meet their mums and dads in the school playground. I can see how much you want that, and not just for Teds. But for you too.”

I swallowed thickly, feeling all too seen suddenly.

Finn squeezed my hand, forcing me to meet his gaze once more. I hadn’t even realised I had shied away. “Does he do that? Does he give you that hope?”

The inside of my cheek had practically been bitten raw these last few days, but it didn’t stop me from chewing on it again as I looked over at Finn with a watery stare. “I think so.”

With a slow, albeit fond, tilt of his head, Finn hauled an arm over my shoulder to crowd me into his side. The two of us huddled in close on his artsy sofa that would look so out of place anywhere else.

I smiled at the thought.

“If he means that much to you, then I’ll make up for what I did. What I said.” Finn reassured me, his voice quiet in the large expanse of his loft. I hadn’t actually expected it to go this way. “But I do want to know. I want to make sure that he knows that he’s not just getting you out of this, that Teddy isn’t a deal breaker here. That he’s grown enough to understand the implications and repercussions of his life and whatever the fuck goes on with it. That he is clean-”

I opened my mouth, guard jumping right back up. But Finn just tucked my head under his chin, hand gripping at my shoulder enough to keep me there with him.

“Sobriety is hard. I understand that. When it finally comes to light that he actually is with you, that means Teddy too, and it’ll be a fucking mess. I want to make sure that he won’t fuck up and throw it all away the second shit gets hard.”

Inhaling, I could only nod. I knew what he meant, it was something I had thought about an awful lot. Too much in fact, I’d worried enough over it that I was still so wary over whether or not to broach the topic with Matty himself. But I hoped, for the first time in a long while.

And that had to be enough for now.

–

Finn’s had been an emotional affair, but not a place I’d lingered too long after our initial apology. We both still needed some time to process and to lick over our wounds.

I’d been more than thankful for it though, it had been a real weight off of my shoulders in truth, because knowing that there was a chance to move on past it without having to pick and choose, or divide my time, was something I hadn’t really held out hope for.

I was a pessimist at heart.

But that being said, I’d been quite optimistic about Teddy’s few hours spent with Matty- alone. Which should’ve been daunting in retrospect, insane even, and had probably once been, but Matty had quickly come to prove himself not only to me, but to Teddy too. So although I’d been cautious, I hadn’t necessarily been quick to stamp out the idea.

The last little excursion the pair had been on without me had gone down a treat, with Teddy having been tuckered out and fast asleep the second he’d gotten into bed, and Matty having bonded further with him somehow.

Then there had been the whole ‘I love you’ mess.

And God, if anyone would’ve told me that I’d have been the one to say it first I would have laughed in their face. Cackled loudly enough to be heard three streets over and on the very urge of wetting myself. But then exactly that had happened.

The words had been lingering in the corners of my mind for a few weeks before last night. Tittering, almost. Having started popping up around Christmas time, with the unannounced gift giving ceremony we’d shared and the incredible bond Matty seemed to have formed with my son. And had then settled in not long after that demo I’d received and the midnight visit where Matty had turned up at my doorstep in a downpour.

I hadn’t loved.

Not really.

I’d loved people, friends and family. Sure.

But someone to keep? Someone that I could call mine?

No, that had never really felt like much of an option for me. And Matty… he’d sort of come out of nowhere, hadn’t he? This mess of a man, but so very wonderful in his own way. He had really crept up on me, and looking back it almost felt as though it was bound to happen. Us, I meant. It felt strange to imagine it any differently.

Messages now

I’m here! Come get me, it’s freezing!!

It didn’t take long before his telltale pop of curls emerged from the main entrance to the same studio I had found him perched outside of during the aftermath of the big mishap with Finn. It almost felt like coming full circle with our decision to have me meet the pair of them here after just having talked with Finn.

Matty’s grin was infectious as we moved to meet one another in a quiet hello, his arms catching themselves around my middle whilst I buried my face into the curve of his shoulder.

He was warm, that was my first thought even as he pressed a chaste kiss to my head, enough so that I didn’t mind the fact that he kept me tucked up under his arm as he pulled away to lead us back inside the building.

“You get here okay?” Matty asked me once the door had rattled shut behind us, his voice travelling in the sparse lobby like area I’d yet to get acquainted with.

Humming, I answered his question with a nod, “Yeah, walked most of it, Finn had a client call out of the blue.”

Matty’s cheeks hollowed a tad but he hummed too before tilting his head over to the right, we started to walk that way. “It go alright then?”

I let go of a heavy breath, eyes surveying every inch of the studio as we wandered further inside, “As well as it could have, I ’spose. It’ll take time, I reckon, though he wants to make it up to you, too.”

Matty appeared to blink at that, the words seemed to have caught him by surprise, but he didn’t falter in his wandering, leading me down a narrow walkway.

“Are you up for that?” I pushed.

He wet his lower lip in thought, dipping his head at a maintenance worker who passed us by before looking back at me. “Told you, I’d give him a little leeway. But I wanna know more about what you spoke about first. If that’s alright with you.”

I was nodding away before he could even tack that last bit on, “Of course, I wouldn’t think not to, in truth.”

I was gifted a sweet smile and quick peck to the cheek before Matty paused, his hand catching on the handle to a heavy door. Soundlessly we slipped past it, Matty closing it slowly behind us to stop it from banging against its hinges and alerting the rest of the room’s occupants to our sudden arrival. Not that it would’ve been all that easy a task, what with the noise that consumed you the second you entered.

Matty smirked at the look that must’ve crossed my face at the sound before he held a finger to his lips, signalling me to keep quiet. I rolled my eyes but took the hand he held out towards me, the two of us creeping over to the corner that gave way to the real chaos that greeted us beyond.

First thing I took notice of was the loudmouth four year old who had seemingly taken charge of the band’s rehearsal, a sight which had me biting my lip to muffle my sudden hysteria.

George was seated by a stretched desk full of slides and buttons, elbows rested on the tops of his thighs whilst he listened animatedly to Teddy’s thoughts on whatever he had Ross and Hann tinkering about with.

The latter two were just holding onto their instruments, Ross stood with his bass and nodding along to what strings Teddy pointed at, whilst Hann was told to ‘look happier’. Something Matty had immediately snorted at, endlessly amused by Adam being told to liven up by a kid who’d only been out of nappies for a little over a year and a half.

The snort seemed to catch George’s attention though because his head shot over at the sound, which in turn forced the rest of the room to follow.

I heard Teddy’s gasp before he came bounding over, wearing a pair of sunglasses that probably cost more than my monthly rent.

“Alright, lovie?” I laughed, swiping up an excited Teddy before he could barrel straight into my legs. “You been having a good time?”

Teddy’s enthusiastic nod was enough to assure me of that but then Ross spoke up, “Should hope so, been hounding me to get this bassline right for ages, ain't you, mate?” He smiled at the giant grin he received in turn before nodding over towards me, “He’s got a proper good ear though. Should get him into it soon, especially if he likes it.”

Blinking, I could only look back down at Teddy, who was now informing Matty on everything he’d missed out on in the sparse moments he’d been gone in a tangent like ramble.

George sniffed as he made to walk on over to us which forced me to glance up again. Hann had started to take off his guitar strap whilst Ross went back to fiddling with his strings once more. Seeingly wanting to get whatever he was working on down before he had to leave for the day.

“He’s a good kid.” George commented to me, watching on as Teddy reached out to be taken by Matty, the man not even second guessing the motion of catching the boy under his arms and settling him on his hip. “And Ross ain’t wrong either. He seemed to really enjoy himself, had him messing about with the console for a bit and Matty even got him to play a couple chords on the guitar for us.” He chuckled lowly, a soft sort of smile breaking up his typically stoic features.

“Hope he wasn’t too much for you guys, Matty reckoned you’d all be alright with him tagging along but I didn’t even think to double check.” I mentioned, eyes caught on the way Teddy was now so enthralled by the story he was telling both Matty and Hann, arms stretched out wide as he exaggerated something or other.

George was shaking his head when I glanced back at him, “It was nice. Having him here, but seeing Matt with him too.” George’s mouth thinned when he lifted a hand to tug on his ear, “I didn’t think he could be like that. It’s strange, him letting someone else hog the limelight whilst he’s sat on the outskirts.”

We both shared a fond chuckle, because I could see what he meant but also, “He’s taken to Teddy better than I expected, really. It’s something I’m most thankful for, as well as the fact that Teddy seems to really like him too.”

My smile was warm, I could tell, and when George caught a glimpse of it I got to watch him almost mimic the gesture, as though he was thankful for it all too.

“You’re good for him.”

My breath caught a little at that, but I kept on smiling as I peered over at Teddy and Matty who were giggling between themselves whilst Hann, and now Ross, had seemingly taken to shaking their heads at the pair in indulging amusement.

“He’s good for me.”

…

The walk home from the studio had been spent hand in hand. The three of us just padding along the narrowing pavement, Matty more often than not trailing alongside the curb so that we could keep it up.

Teddy seemed to enjoy it though, even more so when Matty and I had started up a game with him, lifting him up off his feet so that he could swing back and forth in midair for a few brief moments.

By the time we’d made it home we were all just content to find something to eat and curl up in front of the tele, me listening to Teddy tell me all about his day with Matty whilst Matty pulled my feet into his lap.

He put Teddy to bed not long after, upon the boy’s sleepy request, and had returned about fifteen minutes later, having read a story and bundled Teddy up under his duvet covers. It had been then that I’d gotten to tell Matty more about the conversation I’d had with Finn, rehashing his words and even delving a little deeper into my past with him.

“How long have you known him again?” Matty asked me, thumb trailing back and forth over the jut of my knee whilst the tv played on low.

“Only since the first year of uni.”

Matty appeared quite surprised by that, he said so too. “Seems like longer.” I grinned tiredly at his musings, eyes squinting with it as I leant further into his side.

“It does a lot of the time, but sometimes it doesn't. Wasn’t lucky enough to have been gifted a group of bandits and made to start a band.” I teased, not unkindly, appreciating the way his hand travelled up to run his fingers through my hair. I peered up at him, “They’re all so lovely, you know.”

He answered me with an airy titter, the sound soft enough not to echo out of the living room and down the hall to where Teddy slept, “You’ve never been on tour with them, sweetheart.”

I laughed then too. “Maybe, but Teddy likes them. And I like them too.”

“I’m glad.” Matty whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of my head. When he pulled away, I moved to capture his hand in my own. “You have anyone like that?”

I shook my head minutely, not wanting him to disturb his position, “No, wasn’t in school long enough to make any lasting friendships and then I guess when you reach a certain age it always feels a little harder.”

A quiet swept over us then and I took the time to simply admire the few tattoos Matty's forearms held; the passport number, the box, the postcode on his inner elbow.

“Was that because of what happened?”

His voice was cautious, which was unusual for Matty and more than likely the cause which had me peering up at him, rather than his ask that had gone and broken our peaceful bout of silence.

My nose wrinkled, “What, with my scars?”

Matty gave a soft hum of assent, watching me from under a careful gaze, obviously anxious not to overstep or force my hand on the matter. I smiled at his care and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

“Yeah, it shook me a lot. I mean, I spent weeks in hospital and then after that, I was on strict bed rest whilst at home.” I explained to him, fingertips trailing over the faint grooves in his palm. “I was homeschooled for a long time too and when I did finally go back, well most of my class didn’t much care for me beyond the horror story they’d been told. It grew old quickly enough though, but even so it was hard to connect with people beyond the basic level.”

Matty’s thumb had begun to trail over the skin of my wrist, settling once or twice on my pulse point before going back to stroking again. “What did happen? I mean, only if you’re alright with saying anything about it, I know sometimes shit can still be hard.”

I breathed out an airy chuckle, turning my head to hide my enamoured smile in the wrinkle of his jumper. “I don’t mind. I don’t like mentioning it with strangers much, which is why it’s not really public knowledge unless you go digging. But it was a car accident.”

I felt Matty tense beneath me but his touch didn’t stray, only became that bit bolder, the hand in my hair coaxing me to glance up at him so that he could kiss me sweetly, nose nudging at the curve of my cheek before withdrawing. I hummed happily.

“My dad was with the local police. High up, but a drinker. Only started though after this one case, and then it spiralled. My mam worked night shifts sometimes at the hospital, which was a good way away from where we lived, so it would just be him and me until she got home.”

I took a breath, realising it had been quite sometime since I’d actually spoken about the crash, or even thought of it really. The scars were a constant reminder, yes, but the crash itself was something that had occurred almost two decades ago now, so I’d had time to sort of come to terms with it. As much as I could.

Not to say that it still didn’t wear at me, it had been a big event in my life, changed things in more ways than one. Because it had also been the spark which had sent my dad packing.

“It’d been raining that night, I remember ‘cause the water had been leaking in from under the backdoor. My dad had sworn up a fucking storm when he’d noticed it but could only really stick a couple towels down, claiming that he’d fix it on his next day off.”

A light chuckle escaped me at the vivid memory my mind made up, his tall figure, the odd phrasings he would use, but nothing of real substance. I couldn’t quite recall his face, or the depth of his voice, seeing as I hadn’t looked over old videos or photos we had since I’d visited mum back home.

“It had been a bad storm, had the tides reaching the cliff peaks if I remember rightly. Which meant that the hospital had started to flood, at least the north ward where mam had worked.” I continued, enjoying the delicate caress of Matty’s thumb as it trailed up my arm, “She’d been sent home after they’d managed to move most of the patients on the ground floor westward, but her car broke down about a mile out.”

I could hear the call even now, the sound of my dad’s heavy footsteps when he’d come to wrap me up in a coat, murmuring that we had to go and pick her up.

“The winds picked up, I guess. Dad didn’t have a car seat, that was what we used mam’s car for. So he just sat me in the front seat before setting off.”

Matty’s touch faltered slightly, probably having suspected where I was headed with this before it picked up once again. “The rain was relentless and we weren’t too far from the shore so it almost felt as though it was just thick sludge falling from the sky. It was hard to see past the first metre or so.”

I swallowed, noting how the light from the tv screen stretched out across the floor and flickered each time a scene changed.

“Our town wasn’t huge, but it was big enough to warrant a couple T-junctions and the odd roundabout. There was a fourway, just up past the old baptist church, a road mostly used for when you were coming off the main motorway or headed out towards the airport. Dad had been drinking, you could smell it on him some days, but at night it was always stronger. He blew through it, the traffic light teetering on amber before it finally turned red.”

Staring blankly out across the living room, I could almost picture it. The downpour which had clouded the windscreen, the old dash of my dad’s car, the familiar scent of his preferred brand of tobacco.

I licked at my lower lip, mouth suddenly dry. “A van had been crossing. On the passenger side.” I added quietly, appreciating the grip of Matty’s hand as I carried on, “All I really remember after that are headlights and the blare of a horn. Woke up a couple days later, having missed my seventh birthday and my dad nowhere to be seen.”

I huffed a small chuckle, reaching up to rub at my eyes before turning to face Matty. I wasn’t quite prepared for the wet gaze I’d been met with or the single tear that had seemingly escaped and come to a pause on the bridge of his upper lip.

I lifted a hand up to wipe it away, smiling when he kissed the pad of my thumb.

“You’re incredible, you know that.”

I’d been called many things, but I don’t think incredible was one of them.

I leaned in to kiss him, wanting nothing more than the feel of having him close, even if that meant tasting the salt of his tears or enduring that careful way he held my face. It was everything I had needed then.

–

After the little moment I had shared with Matty the previous night, I’d gone to bed feeling a little more drained that usual, but I’d put it down to the exhausting day I’d had and the fact that Matty’d had to head home so that he could do a skype interview early the next morning.

I’d almost been tempted to say that he could do it here in the flat, but with Teddy you could never tell when the kid would be coming or going, so it was safer for Matty to stick to his typical routine.

But I’d woken up all sniffly and foggy headed the next morning. The pounding at the base of my skull had forced me up out of bed in search of painkillers, as well as the fact that it had just gone ten, which meant that Teds was already up and mulling about.

I took a couple of nurofen I had tucked away in the medicine cupboard with a glass of water and figured I’d be better getting a move on with my day than heading back to bed. I knew that Matty would be popping round sooner or later too, so I attempted to sort through a load of washing that desperately needed to be done as well as tidy away the mess we’d created last night.

Teddy had helped himself to a banana from the fruit bowl at some point but was already asking for breakfast by the time I’d stuck the washing machine on- unaware of how close to crying I’d been after I’d gone and dropped a wad of detergent on the floor.

Even so, I’d set to start on a pot of porridge, knowing he would enjoy it with either some jam or spread, but I was surprised when I heard the front door rattle shut not long later, having not heard a knock nor Teddy answer it. I went to scold him, frowning at the fact that he thought he could just answer the door to anyone when Matty appeared with a few Tesco bags in hand.

“I knocked on the window, so he saw me before he let me in,” Matty was quick to rush out, grinning down at Teddy who had since spotted his breakfast and made a dive for it. “Figured I’d grab some stuff before stopping in, knew you mentioned feeling crap last night before I left so..”

He shrugged, moving over towards the kitchen before I could even think up a reply, a little bewildered by the fact that anyone would have the foresight, let alone the sincerity to do something like this for me.

“Matty.” I breathed out, so utterly warmed by the gesture as I followed after him, “You didn’t have to.”

Matty rolled his eyes at me, settling the bags down on the counter, “Shut up, you idiot. Just let me feel like an adult for once, yeah?”

I laughed, unable to help myself, even as he gestured for me to take a seat at the table, claiming I looked a little warm and confirming it when he pressed his hand to my rosy cheeks.

“Do you ever stop?” He questioned around an exasperated smile, settling some basic cold medicines down as well as a few sweet treats. “Washing machine’s already going, the kid’s been fed, floor seems to have been swept too. How’ve you not dropped?”

I rolled my eyes at his ever growing eccentrics, though was still wearing a rather pleased smile. It was nice, I deemed, having someone look after me for once.

“I can’t stop, babe, got things to do, a tiny person to look after!”

Matty just shook his head at that, obviously not too happy with my retort, “Guess we’re just gonna have a lazy day then, yeah? Got snacks, popcorn even. Reckon Teds will enjoy it. I can even take him out to the park for a bit, just to let him run off some of that energy.”

I blinked at the maddening man stood before me. Wondering what I’d done to deserve all of the things he'd done for me. And without having even been asked.

“Haven’t you got stuff to do?” I queried, content to simply watch him unpack the shopping he’d bought.

Matty shrugged a single shoulder, wrapping up a carrier bag and tucking it into the stash I kept hidden beneath the sink. “Nothing important.”

“The interview went alright then?”

He hummed, putting a couple tins of soup away in a cupboard just above his head. “Yeah, fine. Hann did it with me, other guy was in Paris or some other, I think. Definitely French though.” His phone sounded then, but it seemed he’d left it in the pocket of his jacket which he’d gone and thrown over the back of a chair upon walking in. “Look at that for me, would you?” He asked, peering down at a carton of something or other, probably pondering over whether or not it went in the fridge.

I was only a little surprised by his request, but did so anyway, trying to find the phone in one of his many deep pockets. “Definitely French?” I prompted, smirking smugly over at him before my fingers finally found the device. “You sound so certain, Healy. Almost as though you’ve been taking notes on the French dialect, or something like it.”

Chuckling to himself, Matty flashed me a big smile from over his shoulder before turning away with a wink. “The French are fit, baby.”

I laughed lightly with a halfhearted shake of my head, then peered down at his phone, “Password?”

“0709.” He told me, and so with a slight pinch in odd wonderment I typed it in.

“Why that?” I couldn’t help but ask, only glancing up again when I heard the shuffle of his feet. I raised a single eyebrow. “What, is it like the death of your guinea pig or something?”

Matty’s face pitched itself into a hearty grimace that made me cackle. “My guinea pig? Who the fuck owns a guinea pig?” He shook his head at me, deciding it wasn’t worth the effort and instead said, “It’s the date we met.”

My eyes widened considerably. “Actually?”

With a light huff, he turned back to putting things away, “Thing gets lost or nicked more times than not, so I’m always changing my passwords. Figured I’d remember that one.”

“Matty!” I all but awed, honestly feeling the love. “You can be such a sap sometimes, you know that. The day we met!”

I received a glare in retort but I simply laughed at him before turning to look down at the message he’d just received. My forehead furrowed.

“You said you had nothing going on today!” I was quick to accuse, eyes flashing up to meet his somewhat startled face, “George’s party is tonight!”

Matty’s mouth formed a little ‘o’ before he merely shrugged, “G will get over it if I can’t make it. You need me here more, and besides, his birthday isn't even for a couple more days. They’re only throwin’ it tonight so that most people can make it.”

I looked heavenwards, hoping that the second pause would give me a little bit of strength. Did it fuck. “Matty, you’re not staying here with us when George, your best mate might I add, is out celebrating his birthday! He’ll want you there.”

“Squeaks, you’re sick. He’ll underst-”

I shook my head, “No, you’re going. I’ve got a little cold, nothing that’s gonna kill me. What will kill me though is you not going to be with G on his special day.”

Matty narrowed his eyes a tad, “Don’t guilt trip me.”

My next bout of laughter couldn’t be helped. “I’m not!”

With a scoff, Matty turned to put the carton he’d held in the side door of the fridge, shaking his head as though I was the one being outlandish. “It’s fine, alright?” He said once he’d spun back around, “I’d much prefer being here anyway.”

My head dropped to the side as I looked up at him, “Babe, please go. It would honestly mean a lot to me, but even more so to George. You know, who’s birthday it is. Go on. Please?”

Matty sighed and ended up dropping himself into the opposing chair, I slid his phone on over to him. “What about you though, and Teddy?” He asked and it was sweet, how much he cared.

“We’ll be fine.” I assured him, reaching out to take his hand, “The party isn’t til later anyway, so how about we stick with your lazy day idea and then when you need to start heading out, I can just pop Teds in the bath and get him ready for bed.” When Matty still didn’t seem too keen on the idea, I squeezed his hand a tad and added, “You can even head back here after if you want.”

He perked up at that, but was still a little resistant to the whole idea of leaving.

“I promise we’ll be fine, love.”

And oh, did I wish that had been the truth.

114 notes · View notes

draftsandrecs · 2 months ago

Text

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Reader has a love hate relation ship with her superior but thinks nothing will come of it until one night at a Halloween party.

Word Count: 4,368

Warnings: 18+, smut, no condoms, dirty talk

One thing that always bothered you in your career is when people asked why you joined the military. Or what drew you to it. Some people answer because of college, career opportunity, or even because of the experience. But not you. You chose it because you didn’t know what you wanted to do with your life. You thought you had enough time in highschool to decide what you wanted to do with the rest of your life. But unfortunately senior year came and went and you still had no idea what you wanted to do. Of course you could’ve gone to community college or taken a leap year. To you though, that just felt like procrastination. You wanted to at least be doing something valuable with your time and energy. Instead of getting a minimum wage job or taking classes you didn’t care for. There wasn’t anything wrong with either of those things, but to you it wasn’t what you wanted. So when people asked why you joined, you would just answer “because I didn’t have anything else to do.” They either laugh or are taken aback by the dry answer. You didn’t care either way considering you’re now a year in, working on two degrees, have decent benefits, and pay is good for your field. And most importantly you found something you wanted to do with your life. But of course there are always downsides to good things. Your one downside? Steve motherfucking Rogers.

Sergeant Rogers. Where do you start when describing him? Is it the fake personality he puts on or is it the pretentious demeanor he parades around. Either way you can’t stand that man no matter how long you’ve known him or worked with him. He’s always nice to everyone, smiles all around, joking non stop. But to you it’s the complete opposite. Its blunt comments, ridiculous requests when it comes to work, and a rude attitude. But that’s not the worst part. The problem is how no matter what he says or does, you still find him undeniably attractive. Perhaps there’s a bit of sadism in how much you enjoy the hateful relationship you give each other. Like cat and mouse but with spiteful words and crude comments. It’s like an adrenaline rush when you two are around each other. Heated words, sexual tension, and hatred. But of course you’d never give him the satisfaction of knowing what you actually think. For all he will ever know is how much you despise him and his stupid self.

The coffee maker whirs alive as it begins brewing a single cup in your favorite mug you keep at work. Natasha’s words are in the background describing the Halloween party you and her are throwing and what all you need to gather for it.

“Do you think it’s too much?” She asks as she pours creamer into her own mug. Referring to the matching costumes she picked out for the two of you. Strawberry shortcake characters, or as the website cited “berry babes.”

“No, I like it, it’s cute. But I am not wearing that hat.” You sit your mug down as you shake your head at the silly headwear. In your defense it looked like what the mom from the Berenstain’s Bears would wear.

“Fair enough, but you have to at least carry a basket for the pictures. We didn’t get any last year.” Natasha refers to the two of you last Halloween being plastered before midnight. You and her forgot your tolerance and went overboard.

“Yeah, yeah I know. It’s not my fault you make strong drinks.” You joke with a smile.

She holds her hands up in defense replying, “it helps when I can taste it so I know I’m getting my worth. What’s the point of drinking if you don't get drunk.”

She made a very good point that morning.

You’re in the middle of finishing up a small task when your phone buzzes. A notification from Natasha appears with the message:

Sgt. Rogers wants to see you

You reply with the eyeroll emoji already annoyed with having to see him. You don’t have the best record with how often you’re in trouble. More so how often he likes to say that you’re in trouble. It usually is never that serious but he enjoys threatening you with consequences as well as giving you bullshit tasks when he’s pushed. It’s usually because of your quick witted remarks and your attitude as well. Which you never noticed a problem with but you enjoy getting him upset when he starts it. This is annoying alone cause this probably could have been an email. He just loves to make your job harder than it needs to be.

She replies back with a laugh reaction knowing how he can be towards you. You figure it will either be a petty remark about something you did or about work that needs to be finished or redone. He loves to have you do work he could finish himself. Sometimes you wonder if you’re working for the army or just as his personal assistant with the way he acts. Not putting too much worry on yourself you head to his office hoping it won’t take long. He knows you don’t like doing stuff before lunch. And you’re due for lunch in less than 10. Right on par for Rogers.

Your knock is small when you reach the door hoping he doesn’t hear it. Maybe you could email him and say you tried to come by earlier. But of course nothing gets past him.

“Come in,” Rogers says as you brace yourself before entering.

“You wanted to see me.” Your tone is more a statement hoping to come across as ‘hurry up I have to get to lunch in 5 or else I’ll be hangry’. You only had a coffee for breakfast after all.

“I was hoping to discuss the schedule change you made.” He moves his mouse around assuming he’s checking your request form.

You sit down as you answer “oh yeah, I figured I have enough personal time that I could have off since it is a Friday.”

Truthfully you haven’t had time off in forever it felt like and rarely had to even use sick days. You figured getting off early for Friday would be good since you would be able to help set up for the party and have an early day.

“Yeah I don’t know about that. I figured we’ll need someone for a few things.” His reply makes your stomach drop.

No fucking way, I earned that time off is what you wanted to say but all you could muster was “excuse me?”

He smirks as he sees you getting annoyed. “I know you requested it but what can I do? I may need someone here and well, it’s your job.”

You lean forward in the chair sitting becoming frustrated, “I requested my day off over a month ago. I do not take time off nor do I ever not get my work done.I think I should be approved. Besides there is nothing on Friday that needs to be done that can’t be done Thursday or wait until Monday to be finished.”

He hums in disagreement, “you know another thing I should also bring up is that attitude problem of yours.”

He gets up from his position as he walks over to you as he continues, “I think your problem is that you have an issue with being obedient and abiding by the rules.”

You’re almost taken aback by his statement and without thinking say “I think your problem is that your power drunk and try to belittle me to make your job a little more interesting. If I can’t have leave approved, fine but don’t expect me to come in Friday because I think I’m coming down with something.” You almost want to fake a cough to add to the matter.

He leans over you, hands on either side of you trapping you in his presence. His voice is low and almost harsh “and that mouth of yours right there is what keeps you in trouble.”

There’s a hint of playfulness in your voice when you say “I know.” You push your chest out challenging him against his authority. Trying to get closer to him. Half of you wanting to piss him off and the other half wanting to be as close as possible. His eyes travel from yours to then to your body. There’s a thick tension that hangs in the air as you wait for his next move.

He leans his head down, lips brushed against your ear sending goosebumps down your spine, “don’t start what you can’t finish (Y/N)” his tone is stern and serious. It almost makes you want to see how far you can go with him.

Just as you plan your next move he speaks again “you’re dismissed.” Just like that he’s back to how he was before.

Your phone speaker blares music as you finish getting ready for the party. Just a few touches to your makeup and hair and you’ll be finished. Thursday has arrived for a night of drinking, dancing, and having fun with friends. Even though you’ve been looking forward to tonight, your mind has been occupied. You haven’t forgotten about the little episode with your sergeant. It’s really all you’ve thought about since it happened earlier this week. You couldn’t believe it actually happened. So close to fulfilling that fantasy of yours yet still on edge. Unfortunately though you didn’t see him much this week. Which made it worse since you couldn’t tell if he was serious about the interaction or just playing a joke to make you feel weak. Either way you’ve decided tonight to push any thought of what happened away.

Around 9pm is when the party started with a house full of people, drinks being handed out, and music becoming increasingly louder the more people drank. You made yourself a drink not too long ago and plan on nursing on it for a while. Not wanting to repeat last year's activities of course. You’re filling a punch bowl up with a cocktail mixture as Natatasha walks in very giddy.

“Don’t tell me you took shots without me. I thought we were taking it semi slow until later.” You say jokingly pouring some off brand cranberry pineapple juice into the large bowl.

“Please, I was there too. I do not want to be laid over a toilet bowl with an ice pack on my head again.” She says looking for a handle to put in the bowl.

“So if it’s not the alcohol talking then I assume you’re excited for a guy, Bucky I assume, am I getting warmer?” Anytime she likes a guy she always has the same grin and walk when she walks about him or on her mind.

“You’re hot. He said he was able to make it. He even said he’ll bring a few friends.” Her voice is excited as she speaks about him. You know what that means, matchmaker.

“You know my thing. I never want to get involved with guy friends in case anything goes south.” Nothing worse than double dating and there’s a falling out to make everything awkward.

“Oh you’re just upset because Rogers hasn’t bent you over yet.” You softly slap her arm as you gasp dramatically.

“Hey, that’s different. If that ever goes wrong I can always transfer. Or ya know, completely change my identity and name and never be seen again.” Half of that was true. That would be mortifying if his plan was just joking with no intentions of pursuing you like you do for him.

“I’m just saying. You two have been playing this cat and mouse game for a little bit. I think you should just go for it.” She transfers a few cups to the table organizing a few things.

“Maybe but I don’t know how I would even go about it. I don’t want him to laugh in my face or worse, pretend like it never happened.” She rolls her eyes at your exaggeration .

“Are you kidding me? For a year or so you two have been at each other. The suggestive remarks, the not so little glances, plus the promotions you’ve gotten even though we both know you haven’t been there long ago to receive. No offense.” You nod in agreement understanding where she’s coming from as she continues. “All I am saying is he must at least like you a little.”

You roll your eyes asking playfully, “you think so?”

“I may tell a joke but I’ll never tell a lie.” You hug each other thanking her as she pulls away to answer her phone.

She holds a finger up as she answers, “hey! Yeah just wherever you can find parking.” She trails off as she leaves the kitchen to help find parking for whoever is on the other line.

Two drinks in you’re already feeling a buzz making you feel fuzzy and warm. You and Wanda are in the middle of a conversation when Nat pulls your attention away.

“Can I steal her for a moment? I wanted you to meet Bucky.” You’ve been excited to meet him with how long they’ve been talking (a few months). It’s rare she dates seriously so he must be something.

She holds your arm making your way to the front entrance of your shared home. You find a brunette man putting his belongings in his coat before hanging it up.

“Nice.” You whisper to her as you check him out.

“I know right, who would’ve thought I would meet someone in a grocery store of all places.” He asked her out by using some lines about if she liked grapes or something. Corny but cute at least it wasn’t a dating app.

“Bucky this is Y/N, Y/N Bucky.” You shake his hand telling him you’re glad he could make it and to make himself at home.

“Thank you, I’ve heard a lot about you. Natasha really seems to look up to you.” He says in a genuine tone.

You pout your lip out at her, as she sticks her tongue out at you “aw that’s too sweet. I can say the same to you.”

Before any more conversation can be made the front door opens revealing none other than Steve Rogers. You feel like your buzz is making your heart race 2x as worse with how fast your heart is beating.

“Hope you don’t mind, I invited a friend. I figured since it’s a party the more the merrier right.” Bucky says as he introduces Steve. You know right now would be a good time to have already been hammered.

Nat finds you in the kitchen pouring shots.

“Please don’t be mad. I didn’t know he was friends with him.”

You stare at her, giving her another chance to change her answer.

“Okay I did but I thought it would be a good thing. You know relationships are different inside and outside of work.” She says trying to make light of the situation.

“I’m not mad. Maybe a little but more so nervous. I’ve never seen him outside of work let alone hung out with him. Should I try to conversate or should I just ignore him? I mean what if-?”

She cuts you off before you can finish your sentence “You say he ‘hates you’ but we both know that men are only mean to women when it comes down to two things. They either find them ugly or they want to fuck them. And you are nowhere near the first choice. I mean look at you, very few can pull off a bulky army uniform yet alone tonight. You look irresistible.”

“You know what, you’re right. I am hot” you say hyping yourself up as you continue “I’m not going to make any moves though. If he wants me, he can finish what he started.” You take a shot with Nat before making your way back to the party.

You, Wanda, and Natasha find yourselves making a circle with one another. Bodies moving with the beat of the music. With the alcohol running through your system and the party music in your ears you let yourself loose.

“Do you know that guy over there?” Wanda asks you as she directs your eyes to a few guys in the corner of the living room talking.

“Which one?” you turn around asking confused. Finding Steve staring at you then quickly looking away.

“Tall blonde one. He’s been looking over a lot at you.” You laugh a little at her answer.

“That’s my sergeant. The one I told you about.” You and the girls laugh as he looks over again making a confused face.

“Don’t look now but he’s coming over here.” Wanda begins to back up to give you a little space as he approaches.

“Oh don’t worry about him, he’s not going to do anything.” You say insinuating he’s a coward.

“Do you girls mind if I steal her away for a minute?” His tone is firm as he grabs your arm not caring of their answer.

��She’s all yours” Nat says as she and Wanda make kissing faces at you as he drags you away from them.

“Where’s your room?” You roll your eyes.

“No hello, or how are you? If you need the bathroom there’s one near the kitchen.” You say snapping at him.

“I’m not asking again.” You direct him near a hallway showing him.

“Why do you need it?” You ask as he opens your door, almost throwing the both of you in it.

“Hey you could at least take me out first.” Your joke doesn’t land as he grabs you closely. His face is so close to yours you can smell the gum and beer mixture on his breath.

“I’ll take you out after but first I want to show you I will do something. Especially about that bratty attitude of yours.” You're taken aback as you feel like this can’t be real until you hear his button pop and zipper become undone.

“No amount of extra work I give you or threats ever close that mouth of yours but I know what will.” He has a smug look on his face as he pushes his jeans down proudly showing his hard on.

“Down, now.” He commands as you instinctually get on your knees. Letting the plush carpet support you. You look up at him as he nods for you to continue going. He finds his hands in your hair as you slip your fingers into the waistband of his boxers and peel them down. His cock is almost intimidating with how thick it is.

He taps your lips with the tip as if he’s asking for an invitation to open. You of course obliged as he slowly pushes his cock into your mouth. Making sure not to go too fast or too rough. He mumbles something to himself as you close your eyes as you welcome the heaviness on your tongue.

“Oh fuck, that’s it. Good girl.” His voice is almost a whisper as he finds his hands guiding the back of your head.

Your mouth mainly focuses on the head finding precum already waiting for you. The saliva and precum make it easier for you to take him but not enough with how thick he is. You're thankful that he isn’t too rough with his pace as he pushes himself a little more into your mouth.

“Don’t worry. I know bunnies aren't able to take too much.” You use that to fuel your next move.

You breathe in as much as you can before swallowing all of him. You feel out of breath but the pain is nothing compared to how proud you feel pleasuring him. He doubles over a little as he rocks his hips. He grips your head harder as he pulls out halfway before quickly shoving himself back in. Your drool is dripping from your mouth as your eyes water, no doubt that your eye makeup is smearing. Your gags are like music to his ears. He doesn’t seem to care about you at this moment as he uses your mouth like a sex toy.

“Fuck you’re so good. I could fuck your mouth forever.” He says finally giving one last thrust as he pulls out leaving his cock shiny with spit and precum. You go to wipe your mouth with your hand but he stops you.

“Leave it. I want to see you ruined.” He pulls you back up to your feet, thankful that your knees aren’t hurting anymore.

He kisses you not caring about the wetness as he finds the hem of the dress going underneath it.

“I always wondered what kind of panties you wore.” He says in between the kisses. He finds a surprise as he realizes no panties are to be found. He smacks your ass making you gasp.

“No panties? Should've known a slut like you wouldn’t wear them.” He rubs his fingers over your wet slit letting them soak in your wetness before applying pressure to your clit.

“If you would’ve fucked me the other day you would’ve seen I mostly wear thongs.” Your voice is smaller as he rubs circular motions around your clit.

“Trust me if the office had been empty I would’ve fucked you so hard the only words you would’ve remembered were yes sir.” His fingers stretch your hole as you buckle underneath him.

“I haven’t even started yet. You're already getting stupid on my fingers bunny?” His tone is condescending as you can only nod watching him use you, exposing you in the most intimate way.

Without exchanging words he tosses you on the bed. He takes his shirt off before climbing on top of you.

“I’m going to say this once. I respect you, but what I’m about to do is going to show no mercy. Do you understand?” His eyes are locked with yours as you nod, responding “yes sir.”

With a verbal agreement he pushes the straps off your costume and helps pull the top off of you leaving you bare underneath him. He grabs the small of your neck kissing you while his other hand finds your breasts and pinches your nipples before slapping them harshly. You cuss as he smiles in between the kisses. You grind against him, making his thigh wet as his fingers find your hole again letting them in eagerly. You whine as his thick fingers lock around him.

“That feels so good.” You moan, laying your head on the pillow.

“Gotta make sure you can take me.” He says taking a nipple into his mouth and sucking on it. He bites it gently before pulling both his mouth away and his fingers.

He positions himself between your legs. Grabbing the base of his cock he slips it between your lips letting it become wet. His tip rubs your clit after each pass making it swollen. He repeats it a few times before lining himself up with your wet hole. He rests one hand on your bent knee while the other guides his shaft. You feel yourself fall apart as he slowly enters. The words ‘oh my god’ fall from your mouth as he stretches you and fills you up.

You both watch his cock sink into you. He spreads your lower half to help himself go deeper until he’s left with nothing. He begins moving as your g-spot is already beginning to be bullied. You grab onto his forearms to stabilize yourself from his brutal thrusts.

“You feel like absolute heaven.” He says leaning down to kiss your ear then nipping it.

“Your cock- you feel so good.” You stutter through your words.

“You’re the tightest little bunny I’ve ever gotten the pleasure to use.” His words send a shock through you making you dizzy.

He leans back up giving you one last kiss as he sits back up. His muscular thighs lay under your behalf creating a deepend position. Your wide position makes it easier to pound into you. You use one of your hands to rub your clit as he hate fucks you into the mattress. You can feel how wet you are by the slickness of your ass and his thighs. The sounds of your moans and wetness fill the room competing with the loud music throughout the party.

“Your little cunt can’t get enough of me. Sucking my cock so eagerly.” He says slapping the inside of your thigh. You whine at his vulgar words.

“Mm I never want to use my fingers again, only your cock,” referring to the countless times you masturbated to him.

“Yeah, you can have my cock whenever you want bunny.” His thrusts begin to become slower as he gets closer to an orgasm.

You speed up with your fingers as he angles his hips to pound your g-spot. Your body aching wanting to come around his cock. He grabs your legs, pressing your knees into you as he fucks himself into you. Using your wet tight hole as nothing but an object. You grab one of your breasts to toy with as he whines frustrated. The pleasure running through him as he stares down at your body. Regretful he spent nights with his hand when it could’ve been you.

“You were made for me.” He says in between thrusts as you come around cock milking the cum out of him filling you up.

You and him lay in silence for a while. The only sounds being the music and the buzzing fan in the background.

“I approve you.” He says after a while.

“Of what?” You say turning towards him.

“Of your day off. I’m not done with you yet and by the time I will finish I don’t think either of us will step foot in work tomorrow.” He laughs as you roll your eyes, throwing a pillow at him. He knew you weren’t coming in anyway. You were also probably not getting that photo with Natasha either.

#draftsandrecs #smut #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x y/n #chris evans fanfiction #marvel smut

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majaloveschris · 3 months ago

Note

I think we sometimes forget that that's Hollywood and our normal lives. People can say no, but that could be career-ending. I'm not saying that was the situation there, but maybe it's not that easy to say no, over there. ///

This still would be a choice.

Walk away from Hollywood for a while or …….do what we’re all witnessing now. Obviously not easy, but still a choice. 🤷🏻‍♀️

Morals and integrity vs money and whatever else.

Many people have left Hollywood and came back and if we’re believing Chris, he has money to fall back on for some time. He has connections, etc. He’s not some new actor trying to get established, like c’mon no more excuses. The same guy who knew Jenny was married yet still pursued her. 🙄

I don’t think Chris is the spawn of Satan, but dude has done a few things that have made me question his moral judgement. He’s still associated with that stylist and each time people have an excuse.

We might not know details, but we know enough to all agree this wasn’t a smart move, yet a multi millionaire and his professional team couldn’t see that this would be disastrous?! Does that even make sense.

I think there’s more here and it could have always been pr or real with pr or Chris better start explaining shit if he wants his fandom and popularity back.

The notion he was coerced into participating in a Hollywood PR stunt against his will is indeed more forgiving than, he purposely chose this girl.

I doubt walking away from Hollywood for like a year could've helped, and he obviously won't leave everything behind after being in the industry for 20+ years and after he's built up a career. Leaving for a year or two isn't easy as an established actor as well. It's not like any of them are irreparable. Most people don't want to get out of the cycle, especially if he, for example, had issues getting roles he'd wanted.

I don't agree with this; I never did and never will. I do think they thought they would do something about this PR mess, and then they realized it was a huge mistake. If they would've chosen a better person, maybe I wouldn't even have a problem with the fact he agreed to do a PR relationship.

I'm not saying he is broke or that he couldn't survive a year without any projects, but he still has bills to pay; he still had several houses at that point, which he needed to maintain.

I still don't get, though, why he keeps working with Ilaria. It's definitely morally questionable, and there is no excuse for that. There are so many other stylists out there; it's not like Ilaria does such a wonderful job.

I think the biggest problem was that they didn't properly check her; it's like she was this last-minute choice or someone was too lazy to do their jobs. If they'd chosen a different person, this whole thing could've been a much bigger success, with him getting whatever they wanted and him not losing this many followers. I still stand by the fact that if they knew what kind of people they are, they would've chosen someone else, because not a single person, in the right state of mind, could've thought this would be accaptable.

I'm actually interested if they will try to leak something or anything like that. I think they should try it.

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #chris and alba relationship #cevans-love

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delusional-dinosaurr · 2 years ago

Text

Sleepless Nights (Alessia Russo x Reader)

It’s been 6 months since your first call up for the lionesses. Today was one the big camp weeks with the team at St Georges. You’ve gotten to know the girls fairly well, but playing at Barcelona made it more difficult to see the girls frequently, although you did get to see Lucy and Keira every day so that was a bonus. You were close with Leah and Georgia from room sharing in the past, but still to the rest of the team you were a fairly reserved and quiet person. You weren’t a massive talker, you mainly let your playing skill do the talking, but you were working on it.

“Alright ladies! Room arrangements are written up on the board here!” Sarina points at the board and gives it a little tap. You walk up to the whiteboard and see you’re sharing with Leah and that Georgia is sharing with Alessia, much to Ella’s dismay which you heard through a groan. “Remember, the facility is open 24 hours so you are welcome to use training areas or communal areas to relax in as I know a few of you may be jet lagged” Sarina smiles looking over at you. You’ve always struggled to sleep at camps, which is probably why she’s put you with Leah as she’s randomly awake at 3am most of the time. “Heeeeeey Roomie!” Leah nudges your shoulder whilst smirking at you, making you chuckle in response. You and Leah go up to your shared room and unpack ready for the few weeks ahead. Luckily Sarina chose for this camp to be during a break of the leagues meaning none of you had to shoot off for matches. You all go down for your dinner and chat amongst the tables. You are sat at a table with Leah and a few others come to join you. “So Y/N, reckon you’ll be able to sleep this time?” Lucy nudges you as she sits down, she’s familiar with your sleeping habits since being at Barcelona with her. “Pfffft, I doubt it” You wave her off whilst chuckling. Keira gives you a concerned look and rubs your back soothingly. This was something Keira did before big Barcelona matches to help you fall asleep, since then you two have been very close. Ever since meeting Keira she’s acted like a big sister figure for you, and she has made sure to look after you every step of the way. Later on that night everyone heads up to bed, but the classic Y/N sleepless night kicks in. You somehow manage to sleep for 3 hours before waking up. Pleased with the fact you even managed to sleep at all, you roll over and take your phone off charge to check the time. You groan when you read the time that covers your phone lock-screen photo of you, Alexia and Mapi. 02:24am “Ugh fuck it” You mumble as you quietly leave your room and head downstairs, after not being able to get back to sleep. You fumble around in the communal living room to find something to keep yourself entertained until everyone else wakes up. You dig through one of the cupboards and strike gold. “Ah ha!” You cheer as you find a slightly beaten up guitar in the corner on its stand. You spend a short while tuning it before strumming your heart out. Many years ago you used to go to a college that was for people who were musically talented and you originally dreamed of being a big singer and touring. You had to make the decision between football and a career in music, so you went for football. You continue playing a bunch of songs and quietly singing until you hear gentle footsteps coming towards you. You continue playing but slowly turn in the direction of the noise. “Lessi, what are you doing up?” You ask her, noticing the dark circles under her eyes. “I couldn’t sleep and knew that you or Leah would be awake down here” She smiles tiredly. She’s wrapped up in a blanket whilst wearing shorts and a Manchester united alternate green shirt. Even though she looks drained, her eyes are still as stunning as ever. Wait what? You shake your head to get yourself out of your head. “Feel free to sit with me, I can stop playing if--” You start speaking but she interrupts. “No no! I like it, keep going!” She sits next to you as you carry on playing a song. After a few minutes and some nice warm coffee, Alessia starts singing along with you to random songs that you’ve been playing for her. 04:10am “You should probably try and get some sleep Alessia” You nudge her gently as she shakes her head at you. “Nah, I like spending time with you” She says and blushes after realising what it sounded like “I mean, you’re really nice to hang out with. You’re normally quite quiet so it’s nice to see a different side of you” “Well I also like spending time with you too, you are nice to be around” You shyly reply whilst gently strumming the guitar still. “Okay now tell me, how are you so good at singing and playing the guitar?” She asks leaning closer to you with her head on your shoulder, intrigued to hear your answer. “Uh, I used to play a lot as a kid and then I sort of when to an arts school and college, but yeah that’s it really” You shrug at her, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Y/N that’s so cool! I never knew that!” She says excitedly. The night, well, morning carries on with the two of you singing away and you trying to teach her how to play the guitar. What you didn’t spot is your two best mates Leah and Georgia, walking in and spotting you up against Alessia’s back teaching her how to play the guitar. They gave each other a knowing look and left before either of you could notice. Camp continued and over the next few days neither you or Alessia could sleep, so you’d meet downstairs and hang out all night. Whether it was playing guitar (or teaching her), or playing pool, air hockey or even watching movies together, you really really enjoyed spending time with her. Even though it was a short amount of time since truly getting to know her, you wouldn’t choose anyone else to spend this part of your day with. You decided it was time to settle on the sofa with her and not run around like children. You picked Star Wars as your film of choice today as you loved watching it when you were younger. It got to the infamous duel between Anakin and Obi-Wan so you decided to stand up on the sofa with a pool cue in your hand pointing down at Alessia. “It’s over Anakin. I have the high ground!” You yell at her in time with the film, she giggles and grabs a pool cue. “You underestimate my power!” She quotes back at you making your heart skip a beat, you both pretend to duel with the pool cues and make the sound effects too. What you didn’t know was again, someone was watching the two of you playing about together. Ella Toone. She grins watching her best friend and new friend slowly become best friends, or maybe even more? Either way she knew the two of you needed a bit of help and a push in the right direction.

━━━━━ Later on that same week you’re downstairs again with Alessia, she’s fallen asleep on you whilst you were watching a movie together. Little did you know there was a small group meeting going on in your room, consisting of Leah, Georgia and Ella. "Okay we have to do something about those two, they're clearly in love" Georgia states. "I mean, I've known Y/N for years and I've never seen her like this with anyone, she's definitely got a soft spot for Lessi. We just need to come up with a plan" Leah ponders. "Well it's media day tomorrow, I'm sure being quizzed might help?" Ella suggests.

━━━━━

"Alright! Today is media day, you'll be randomly partnered up and shift around to different stations throughout the day. You may swap partners throughout but that is at my discretion!" Sarina says to the team. You see the group arrangements and it's you and Beth Mead together for the first hour of interviews and activities, followed by the remainder of the day being with Alessia. You instantly feel your stomach fluttering at a gentle touch on you arm. "Looks like we still get to spend the day together" You look at her and those beautiful blue eyes shine at you. You can’t help but feel yourself getting lost in them, the way the light catches them and causes them to glisten. You quickly smile at her and head off to meet your first interview partner. "Meado" You nod, greeting her on the sofa at the first media station. "Y/N/N" She nods back chuckling. The first hour goes fairly quick you get the odd question thrown at you here and there from interviewers as well as some funny games which you managed to win 4 out of 5 against Beth. Sarina yells for partners to change if that is what your schedule stated so you find yourself sauntering over to Alessia. When you eventually find her you poke her in the sides from behind to make her jump. "AHHHH!" She jumps and defensively turns around, she smacks your stomach in retaliation, only making you laugh harder. "Y/N you dick!" She whines at you with her head hanging sadly. "Aw, we cant have a sad Lessi can we?" You coo as you wrap your arm around her shoulders and pull her in for a quick hug. After a few interviews you find yourself at the next station with none other than Keira and Lucy with Rachel Daly being the host. You’re sat on a sofa with Alessia, Rachel is sat in the middle on a chair, with Lucy and Keira on another sofa to the side of her. You shuffle around to get comfortable and you end up against Alessia’s side. After your late night bonding she knew that you got very nervous and uncomfortable in interviews, so she knew she had to do her best to keep you calm. Even this small bit of contact already put your mind at ease and you let out a relieved sigh in response, which Alessia smiles at. "Okay I promise this is super fun. It's something I made myself for a quiz to see which couple knows each-other best!" Rachel cheers. "Oh Y/N and Alessia aren't a couple" Keira says quietly, making sure you aren't panicking about it, your eyes were still wide from assumption of your non-existent relationship with Alessia. "Well they might as well be! Or at least for this game" Lucy chuckles. The game goes ahead and it's questions based off our partners and it's neck and neck until Rachel gives us a tiebreaker question. "Okay, team Russo-Y/LN. The final question for you two. If you get this right, you win best duo of the team! The question is for Alessia, it’s a difficult one! What team did Y/N face for her first goal at a professional club?" Rachel asks, Lucy laughs and celebrates early knowing the question is almost impossible to answer, especially with you and Alessia only really bonding in this last week. "Oh god that's a difficult one! I'm pretty sure she scored a hat-trick as well, yes! It was against Villarreal I think?" She says somewhat confidently. Lucy’s face drops in realisation that Alessia got it right. "THAT IS CORRECT CONGRATULATIONS!" Rachel starts celebrating and the couple in front of you are gobsmacked that Alessia got the answer, same with you of course. "LESS WE DID IT" You grab her and lift her over your shoulder and start cheering loudly in celebration. She squeals for you to put her down.

━━━━━ After a long successful media day a bunch of you gather in the communal room and are playing games amongst yourselves. "Who's up for some truth or truth?" Georgia yells. "Why no dares?" Millie asks confused. "Because last time we did dares, Mary managed to break a sofa, Rachel got told off for being too loud, Millie woke up the coaching staff by singing in the hallways, and Sarina lectured us for it" Lucy points out laughing at Mary who you can hear protesting. You all gather around for 'truth or truth' which is clockwise and the person directly across from you asks the question. You've already learnt a lot about your teammates and finally it's your turn to be asked a question by Georgia who smirks when she realises it's her turn.

"So Y/N. Is there an active dating life? Or am I going to need to set you up on a date?" Georgia leans forward.

"No dating life here! Just seem to have no luck with women. I need all the help I can get" You jokingly sigh. You look over at Alessia who offers a small smile. Eventually people start getting tired with a few heading up to bed, but still a fair few of you chilling downstairs. This leads Georgia and Leah over to you as you are sat on your own as Alessia had already gone up to bed. "Psst, Y/N/N" Leah says elbowing you. "Ow, what?" You look at her, unimpressed. "I'm setting you up on a blind date. You can't say no because I know you trust me to set you up with someone nice, so please go out and get yourself out there!" She pleads with you. You agree to a blind date, purely because it'll make Leah happy. Worst case scenario it's only one night.

"How about tomorrow night, and the bowling alley just outside of the camp at 7! I reckon you guys will really hit it off. Oh! Casual clothing too, nothing too serious right?" Leah says and skips off excitedly. "What's got you all huffy?" Ella sits next to you. "I agreed to a stupid blind date so that Leah would get off my back about my non-existent dating life" You sigh and slump into the sofa. "Y/N I'm sure you'll have a great time. It's Leah setting you up after all, you're in safe hands I reckon" She says confidently to you. She's right. Leah would never do you wrong, you were most definitely in safe hands. You still couldn’t shake that feeling of whether this was going to be a mistake due to your developing feelings for the blonde striker you’ve spent most nights hanging out with.

━━━━━

You walk into the bowling alley and find it's bustling with people. You take in your surroundings, the odd coloured patterns on the carpet, the noise of the puck hitting the barriers in air hockey, and the cheering of people on the alleys which is accompanied with the clattering of pins. You realise that you’ve definitely zoned out for a minute and walk up to the counter at the entrance of the bowling alley. Leah meets you at the counter and gives you a hug.

“Looking good Y/N! I’m not sure whether you or your date look better, I’ll let you be the one to decide” Leah smirks at you.

The staff member at the counter lets you know what lane you are on and Leah walks you over to a booth. The booth is slightly obscured by the corner of the wall so you can't see the blind date yet. "Alessia?!" "Y/N?" You both yell at the same time.

“And with that, I’ll leave you both to it! Curfew is 12 tonight so don’t have too much fun” Leah winks and smacks your shoulders. She jogs over to Ella and Georgia over on the other side of the alley who are also on a night out bowling. "I mean, I'm not complaining. Leah said you looked stunning and my god, she wasn't wrong" You say whilst sitting on the other side of the booth whilst Alessia is blushing at your compliment.

“I’m also not complaining, I was dreading this date. I was sat debating whether or not to even come as I would rather spend the evening with you” Alessia smiles at you, she reaches over to grab your hand “Now come on, I’ve gotta show you who’s boss” she tugs you over to the bowling lane that you two are playing on. Rather than sitting down when it’s not your turn, you stand with Alessia as she bowls and cheer her on from next to her.

“Did you see that!” Alessia cheers at her strike.

“Of course I did! Maybe you will beat me like you said!” You laugh, grabbing a ball ready for your turn. The game carries on and you’re both flirting with each-other like crazy as you’ve both got comfortable with your date.

“How about we make this interesting?” You smirk at her, she gives you a questioning look. “If you win, I’ll pay for the next date if you want another one. If I win, you pay for the next date.” You suggest.

“Oh it’s on Y/LN, hope you’re ready to pay for the next date!” She smirks at you watching you bowl. “But how about we make it even more interesting” She smiles cheekily at you “How about if I get a strike on my turn, I get a kiss”.

You instantly blush at the suggestion but compose yourself “And if you don’t get a strike?” you take a sip of your drink as you’re waiting for the pins to reset for Alessia’s final turn.

“I’ll do anything you want, within reason” She smiles deviously, you instantly start to cough on your drink at her answer.

“Alessia!” You smack her arm to which she laughs even more at.

“Not like that! Well maybe within reason right? Anyway I will get a strike so I look forward to my kiss” She says confidently preparing herself to bowl. She bowls and gets a strike and does a celebratory dance which makes your heart melt at the sight of. You wrap up the game which Alessia won overall by 2 points and head back to St George’s Park.

No one is in the communal room so you instantly flop down on the sofa and Alessia giggles and joins you by your side and cuddles into you.

“I still can’t believe I went on a date with you, remind me to thank Leah” You say with Alessia agreeing to thank Ella too.

After a few hours of talking Alessia seems to be getting sleepy so you walk her up to her room which is just across from your room.

“Tonight was amazing Y/N, I really do like you and I’m so happy you feel the same way” Alessia says nervously looking down at her hands. You grab her hands and intertwine them with yours.

“No need to go all shy on me now Lessi, you’ve spent all night flirting with me and making bets” You chuckle “Speaking of, I believe I still owe you a kiss”.

Alessia looks back up at you and rests her hands on the sides of your neck whilst you rest yours on her waist, you can feel your heart trying to escape through your chest at the feeling of you both being so close to each-other.

“Mhm, you do. What a coincidence it’s at the end of the date” She smirks at you, causing you to lean in and press a gentle kiss on her lips. You feel her grip on you tighten slightly as you both start getting more comfortable with the kiss, it quickly gets a little more heated until you pull away when air becomes an issue.

“Probably should save that for date number two right? I look forward to a holiday in Barcelona to come and see you play” Alessia says whilst getting ready to go into her room.

“Yeah about that, we may have an issue” You say nervously, Alessia turning around to look at you. “I can’t take you to watch me play in Barcelona as I wont be playing there any more, as I’m being transferred to Arsenal this week. Please try and forgive me for not choosing Manchester” You joke.

“Arsenal?! You mean I get to betray Tooney and go to your matches when we aren’t playing?” Alessia fake gasps in shock. “Wait when we play each-other in a few weeks, Reckon we can trade shirts at the end of the match?”

“For you, anything. Plus I’ll most likely be marking you so that’ll be fun” You hug her “Right, you need to go to bed as you look super tired and we can’t keep talking in a hallway”

“Night Y/N” She says as she pulls you in for another bruising kiss “Sleep well!” she winks as she goes into her room. You sigh peacefully as you watch her, once she’s gone you go in your own room to find Leah standing in the doorway waiting for you.

“Looks like you had a good night” She chuckles as you both get comfy in your beds, you tell Leah all about your night and keep thanking her for pushing you two to go on a date.

“Oh and I’m transferring to Arsenal” You say casually, watching Leah spring out bed and jump on you.

“Oh my god she’s a gunner!” She cheers “She’s a gunner that has to play against her new girlfriend!” She jumps back to her own bed and tells you all about each Arsenal player and the team in general until you both get tired. You finally sleep for a whole night without interruptions, thanks to Alessia.

━━━━━

It's been a while! You know I can't resist making more Lessi content!

#alessia russo #alessia russo x reader #alessia russo imagine #woso one shot #woso x reader #woso imagine

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ilguna · 1 year ago

Text

☼ utterly irresistible pt2 (Finnick Odair) ☼

summary; Finnick tries to help you after the fog, and you don't take that lightly.

warnings; swearing, gore, death, death mention.

wc; 3.2k

part one

–

The warmth of the arena has you stuck in a purgatory hell between being drowsy but far too hot to fall asleep comfortably.

You started off in the hut that Finnick made with Mags out of the jungle’s leaves. They weaved them to make mats, and then put the mats together. It was nice to be sheltered, partially hidden, and knowing that you were surrounded by other people that would jump at the first sign of danger to protect not only themselves, but you too.

You couldn’t sleep, though.

You kept yawning and rolling over, going back and forth between your sides. As a last resort, you tried laying flat on your back, and even on your stomach for a good period of time. The more time ticked on, it got too hot to stay inside of the hut because of the four bodies that occupied it. So, you chose to leave to hopefully get a better feeling on the outside.

It’s not much better out here. At the very least, you’re not sweating two times more than you were before.

The lightning storm is far louder out here, though. It was more muffled through the thick mats. If the thunder wasn’t so unpredictable, you think you’d be able to fall asleep to the storm. You couldn’t, though, not with the ground shaking with every hard strike.

You’ve decided to sit with Katniss on the rock that overlooks the small clearing, with your backs to the forcefield. If there’s one thing that you learned today, it’s that it’s vital to pay attention to what's going on ahead of you. Peeta swung his machete straight into the forcefield earlier, and had to be resurrected by Finnick.

It was the scariest minute of your life, because Peeta’s life was literally in the hands of Finnick. And if he failed, then that could cost the entire alliance, and the plan that everyone’s worked hard to come to terms with. Thankfully, he could save Peeta. You’re not the only one that noticed he wasn’t at his full self after, which means there’s a possibility that there was some damage done.

You yawn again, head rolling back as you close your eyes. If you were anywhere else, you think that you’d be able to fall asleep in this position, in this peaceful state of mind. It’s got to be the arena that’s fucking with you. You can’t think of any other reason why you can’t sleep.

You don’t feel worried about being safe, you don’t think.

Although, it very well could be subconscious. The thought of the careers still being alive resonates in the back of your mind. Cashmere’s got to be out here somewhere, hunting around in the jungle for you with her brother, and the Two tributes. It’d be better for her to find you first, rather than the other way around. She’d have the upper hand, and be able to decide on how she wants to attack and control the situation.

It’s what you would do. It’s what you should be doing right now. You should be trying to find where they’re located and if they’re injured from the bloodbath. They’ve matured further, and they’ve had more time to train for this type of terrain. That doesn’t mean that one of the other tributes couldn’t have gotten them in a vital spot before they died.

You sit up from the rock, getting to your feet.

“What is it?” Katniss whispers.

You shake your head, “Nothing.”

IF you can’t sleep, you need to be awake and moving instead. You’re going to be exhausted later either way, pretending to rest is going to do more harm than good. It’s like a bad night’s sleep, sometimes just staying up is better all around. If you tire yourself out, the next time you go to lay down, you have a better chance at sleeping.

You play with one of the throwing stars as you walk around camp, weaving in between trees. Katniss is on alert for the first few minutes, possibly thinking you’re lying and you’ve heard something. When she realizes that you’re just patrolling, she sits back, continuing to survey the trees.

You’d tell her to sleep, but she’s not going to agree.

Whether she knows it or not, she’s in safer hands with you, than she is necessarily with Finnick. The two of you have the same ultimate goal to keep her and Peeta alive until they can rescue you out of the arena, of course. However, where as you wiped out the career pack in the matter of a couple days, he worked with them until they saw his danger.

The difference is that he gives his opponent a taste of what they’re going to be in for, and you don’t have time for playing games.

You can admit that you do admire Finnick in other areas. He’s a loyal ally and a very quick problem solver. You don’t think you’ve seen anyone on their feet ready for action faster than he can be. That’s why you agreed to be in an alliance with him. Not because you want him to flirt with you, but because you can trust him with your life.

You spend the next hour pacing the trees, keeping an eye on Katniss and the hut. The lightning storm stops abruptly, and is followed by the gentle patter of rain nearby, giving you hope that it’ll travel in this direction sometime soon. If there’s enough of it, maybe it’ll lead you to a river or a pond in the morning.

It’s not too long before you find Katniss asleep against the rock, bow and arrow in her hand. You knew it was going to be a matter of time. When there’s an experienced set of eyes watching, it’s hard not to let your guard down, even if it’s just got a little bit.

You think that it would be a perfect time to go down to the water and try to find any strays, when a cannon interrupts your train of thought.

You stop moving, waiting for more to follow. This is an odd time for someone to be dying.

The silence begins to eat away at you from the inside out, you can feel the anxiousness bubbling in your stomach. Was it the careers that came across someone? If so, did they opt for killing them in their sleep or were they not able to defend themselves because they were surrounded?

You turn your head to check on Katniss, and find that she’s wide awake and just as freaked out as you are. You can feel the goosebumps cross your arms, rain ceasing in the distance.

This isn’t right.

You follow Katniss’ line of sight, which has shifted to a milky white fog, slowly coming in your direction from where the sound of rain had been coming from. It’s a long and unbreaking line, crawling across the ground like waves on the sea. There’s a pattern amidst it. It’s hard to miss, when you’re not looking for it.

“Hey,” You bein, backing away from the fog, “Katniss—”

A sweet odor, one that you’ve smelt in a Capitol candy shop, hits you as the fog grows closer. You wince at the intense smell, a headache beginning to form.

Katniss is on her feet in an instant. “Run!” She screams.

You jerk away from the fog a little too late. An intense burning sensation takes over the tip of your fingers first, eating all the way up until the middle of your forearm. A thousand tiny needles jabbing into your skin at the same time.

You let out a hiss, gripping your arm.

“Run!” She screams again.

Finnick appears out of the hut, hair strewn in every direction, trident in his hand, prepared for a fight. It takes him less than a second to figure out what’s going on, pulling a sleepy Mags onto his back and running in the other direction. Peeta doesn’t move as quickly, a sign that the forefield has affected him more than he’s let on. You struggle to pull him to his feet with Katniss.

You follow after Finnick, struggling to keep up with the pace that he’s setting. With Mags on his back, it’s got to be slowing him down some, but he must’ve been ready for moments like this, because he’s hardly breaking a sweat. Much less, hesitating about where to put his feet.

While he’s leading, he’s pointing out every root and low branch on the way down, anticipating that you’re not paying attention to the ground. What he doesn’t know is that you’ve run through much worse underbrush in District Eleven. It’s only a few minutes before you’ve passed him, and show no sign of slowing down.

For you, it’s always been harder going downhill instead of up. You’re prone to falling downhill while running. All it takes is one misstep, and you can be sent flying down. From there, the only thing that’s stopping you is a tree or a rock that gets in the way. If you’re going uphill, you have more of an opportunity to save yourself.

You suppose this is all common sense. You just need something to rationalize while running from death.

You stop to catch your breath, heavily panting as the stars begin to eat away at your vision from the lightheadedness. You lean on a tree for support, and find that Finnick and Mags are not too far behind you, but Katniss and Peeta are playing with fire with how close they are to the fog. Every step they take, the fog takes two times the distance.

When you glance around you, you see that the fog is closing in from all sides, except for the bottom. One small path that’ll be impossible for you all to get through unscathed.

You watch in horror as Peeta’s leg catches in a snarl of vines. The two of them get dragged to the ground, Katniss is in his face asking questions, trying to get him to cooperate. She jerks back, eyes wide.

Finnick stops nearby, looking back to see what you’re looking at. Katniss suddenly yanks at Peeta to get him to his feet, causing him to stumble. Her arms have begun to twitch at her sides, and she’s freaked out because of it.

“I’ll have to carry him.” Finnick tells you, letting Mags down. “You can take her, can’t you?”

“Yes.” You push him to get him moving. “Go.”

“Good girl.” He breathes, leaving you there to gape after him.

It takes Mags tugging at your wetsuit for you to remember to crouch down. She wraps her arms around your shoulders the same way she does with Finnick. You get to your feet with no problem, because Mags really is as light as she looks. You wheel yourself around to check on them.

Finnick has taken the burden of Peeta entirely by pulling him across his shoulders. Katniss is coming in your direction, and she’s not wasting any more time.

“To the water, (Y/n)!” Finnick huffs, you give him a sturdy nod before you begin to go back down the hill, leading the way.

You take a very specific diagonal path that’ll lead you straight to the beach if there’s no more problems. You do your best to keep from steering them straight into the fog, but its uniformity has turned sporadic in the way that it moves. The Gamemakers would like nothing more than to take a life right now, which means they’ll cheat at their own game to do it.

You go to take a step down the hill, ready for the hard impact from Mags’ extra weight, but you miss the fact that there’s a rock, which turns your ankle. You let out a cry as you slip to the ground, managing to catch Mags before she takes a hard impact. She gets off you, waiting while you inspect the damage as quickly as you can afford to. No bone sticking out of your skin means that you’ll survive.

Katniss passes you, continuing down the hill. As you’re getting to your feet, trying to put weight on the ankle, you’re met with shooting pains. You motion for Mags to get back on you, gritting your teeth.

“What happened?” Finnick asks, stopping by you. He’s eyeing over your body, trying to figure out what went wrong.

“Go, don’t worry about me.” You tell him, “Keep going, you have more weight than I do.”

Finnick reluctantly listens, going at the same pace he did before he stopped. The pain is unbearable, tears spring into your eyes immediately. You want to drop Mags off and beg her to make it down to the beach on her own, but you know that’s not possible. You hold your breath, continuing down the slope, barely going the same speed as you were before.

The fog has caught up to you, this time wrapping its tendrils around your ankles and yanking, trying to make you fall forward. The pain works its way up to your knees, almost buckling twice. You’re reminded that if you’re feeling this pain, then there’s no telling what Mags is getting from it. And she’s not going to voice her complaints.

You push harder.

“(Y/n)?” Finnick calls.

“I’m coming!” You shout back, struggling to get your feet to cooperate.

It’s something with the fog, it’s taking over your muscles and making them move in weird bursts. It’s what happened with Katniss, and now you’re getting it in your arms and legs, too.

You refuse to die this way. The sweat is pouring off your face in waves so bad that it’s blinding you, and you alternate between eyes to see. You can feel your hair sticking to your skin, and no matter how many times you try to flick it out of your face, it never moves. With every step you take, more damage is done to your ankle.

Mags has become a deadweight on your back, leaning her entire body onto you like she’s the shell of an insect. For a moment, you’re terrified that you’ve killed her, but through the nauseating and distracting smell of the fog, a singular thought tells you that a cannon would’ve gone off if that were the case. There’s still hope.

You let out a sob through your teeth when your foot hits loose dirt, making you slide a few inches, stumbling to catch your footing.

Finnick collapses with Peeta only a matter of feet ahead of you, and he doesn’t move a muscle to get up. Katniss barrels right through them, foot getting caught on an arm, sending her sprawling in the dirt.

The fog takes one more bite at you before letting you leave. Your knees buckle, a searing pain seizing your ankle as you hit the ground. Mags falls too, but you’re not worried about her. You can’t breathe, you can’t feel your arms and legs.

You settle your head against the ground, terrified that the fog has paralyzed you, until your eyelids become too heavy to keep open, despite the pain that’s ripping you apart inside. You’re probably dying instead, and at this point, you think you welcome it.

You can hear Finnick let out a goran, and then his hand grabs onto your calf, pain spirals up into your thigh, “(Y/n)?”

Katniss croaks out a long noise, and then says: “It’s stopped.”

You don’t have the energy to look, or respond. All you can do through the haze is hope that she’s talking about the fog.

There’s silence that follows, the sound of your ragged breathing is what fills your ears. There’s a brief rustling, where you must fall asleep during, because the next thing you know, you’re being jerked upright, and the pain in your body is resurfacing. It’s blinding.

You let out a cry, eyes open as you go to beat away whatever it is that’s moving you from the bliss.

It’s Finnick, he narrowly dodges your hand, watching you intensely for any other reaction.

“Let go of me.” You try to push him off.

He’s got one arm beneath your knees, and the other wrapped around your back, clearly wanting to pick you up. Except, you know this will be worse than the fog itself. You can’t let this happen.

His bronze hair is flat on his head, dripping water off the ends. His skin is red, like he’s rubbing it raw, but he doesn’t seem to be in any pain. “I’m going to help you.”

“I’m fine.”

“The water will pull the poison from your skin. It hurts at first, but you’ll feel better after, I promise.”

You shake your head, “I can go myself.”

“You couldn’t even drag yourself to the beach, (Y/n). Even Mags managed to get there.” He begins to lift you up, carefully this time to minimize the pain.

His efforts don’t make that much of a difference. You can’t hold back the tears when they appear, holding your breath as he walks you out of the jungle and onto the beach.

“Hold on, (Y/n).” He murmurs, your head rolls to the side.

Peeta and Mags are sitting together in the water, rubbing their skin. You’re not sure where Katniss is, maybe somewhere in the jungle?

“We’ll work through it slowly.” Finnick tells you, lowering you onto the sand, “We can’t stop once we’ve started.”

You let out a sob, struggling to get air. A second later, you sharply inhale to avoid screaming, hand grabbing Finnick’s shoulder tightly. The water has lapped over your ankles, up to your knees. The twisted ankle is bad enough, the water and the fog’s poison makes it so much worse.

“Breathe.” Finnick says.

Ink splotches steal your vision, needles turning to open flame, as if they’ve poured gasoline over your body and lit the match. You’re going to die if you continue through this, but you can’t move.

Finnick pulls you upward to sit, trying to force you to stay awake.

“Come on, (Y/n). You’re doing good, we’re almost done with your legs.” He looks up, “Katniss, will you help me?”

“Yeah.”

Katniss unbuckles the purple belt, tossing it away from the three of you. Finnick leans you forward, unzipping the back of your suit. You don’t register this at first, too focused on the weird angle your foot is sitting at. It isn’t until you can feel his hands trying to pull you out, do you realize what he’s doing.

You elbow Finnick to get him off, and when that doesn’t work, you shove him away with a stiff arm, glaring.

“We have to take the suit off.”

“Go.” You tell him, turning away.

“(Y/n), you really—”

“Finnick, I know you’re doing this just to fuck with me.” You snap, “So I’ll have Katniss help me, and you can just go be with Mags.”

Finnick lets out a sigh, getting to his feet and throwing his hands up.

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itsnotablogsblog · 1 month ago

Text

POPPY AND NOAH A NEW DUO? RUMORS ON DATING? Is this PR or Simply Mediocre?

FANS GETTING HEATED?

POPPY WANTS FAME AND NOTHING ELSE?

Hi, hello. If you are looking at this post, I am solely going to journal this through your social network.

Let me first introduce myself.

I am an anon. But you can call me Maria.

Here on this tumblr is tea spilt over thousands of tweets on twitter.

More so to Poppy and Noah.

Now let’s get the story straight. Poppy. Oh yes that word that echoes through one persons ear, right to the next. But how did she manage to become one of the controversial people that now has a million streams globally?

That’s a question we’re going to answer today.

It seems like a lot of people are heated. More heated than anything else that Bad Omens themselves have been experiencing in this delusional roller coaster of drama for the past few decades.

But why Poppy?

Moriah or Poppy as her nickname developed fame over YouTube. Spilling fame doing nothing but making videos of herself, involving quite a lot of YouTubers along the way.

Though her career was launching, a lot of people seemed to not like her due to various reasons.

Now that she’s with Bad Omens and frontman Noah Sebastian, it seems that she has started a whirlwind of chaos and drama.

But why?

Let’s start with the most popular and most listened song VIOLENCE AGAINST NATURE.

Since it’s mainstream people have been listening to it, and taking their own opinions on it. But it seems the farther it was to promote Poppy’s new album it seems like it was a way to get poppy in the spotlight.

Take it as alleged because we will never know about it.

But back to poppy 😃.

Some say she’s a mediocre artist just searching for attention. Which I agree with the most.

But with Bad Omens that’s something completely different. Front man and lead singer Noah Sebastian chose to write a song and have Poppy play the lead verse and chorus of this song.

But why?

Easy. Ever since their OST DEBUT for their comic book series came out, they chose to and yes chose several and various artists to collaborate with. This included We Are Fury, Erra, HEALTH, and many more.

But something about Poppy stood out than most. Her vibrational voice that just kept people guessing for more. Yet, the outcomes and situations now have escalated more into chaos than anything else.

Now that she drove back to the social media and social platform of fame once again, it seems like she’s leaning more on Bad Omens than her own personal album.

Why?

To promote her albums, so she can get the spotlight she always wanted. Although I highly hate this. To say.

But why Noah Sebastian?

Does she have something that she likes about him? Or is it just to get Noah’s fame and attention? More so to get it away from Bad Omens. Causing a whirlwind of controversy.

As for many of us we know Bad Omens didn’t get the easy fame most people would expect right away. Not until their third album “THE DEATH OF PEACE OF MIND.”

Came out.

Millions of streams and over 165 streams on Spotify, with a golden record now on hold. It seems to me their 10 year contract with Sumerian Records that somehow Sumerian made them more attracted to the public audience in less than a week.

Now with Poppy being involved and involving herself with Bad Omens seems to be causing a lot more problems.

To the extent where Bad Omens might be blocking fans due to the extent of hating on Poppy more than anything in this world.

So is it really a PR Stunt?

To me it definitely seems and looks like it.

But why are fans heated over such a popular figure and now public figure? Noah Sebastian?

It’s an easy answer. Because people are taking it way too far and personal that it seems as if they only want Noah’s face on every cover except for Poppy.

Either way this has caused rumors on them dating whether or not this is true, Poppy made and asked her way towards the metal scene.

This wasn’t due to dating Noah Sebastian.

She wants the same thing as Noah. To be famous. So where do these fans have against it?

Easy.

She’s just not built for it.

It’s driving people insane, to where they’re just sick of seeing Poppy’s face all over the place. Whether or not it’s with Noah, or herself alone.

Noah’s New Potential and “New Partner”

Now this leads to people even saying that they’re excluding the rest of the band. Including Nick Folio, Nicholas Ruffilo, and Jolly or Joakim Karlsson.

In which RockSound included a magazine with just Poppy and Noah on the front cover.

Now that’s a whirlwind of fucking chaos. From various people stating that the band is breaking up, to Poppy and Noah dating.

Listen. I’m just here to spill the tea here. Noah and Poppy aren’t dating. She wants clout and attention.

She doesn’t even know what she’s doing. Which is oddly ironic considering this mediocre woman finds and slithers her way to fortune.

But anyways.

What do you guys think?

Personally, I think it’s just complete nonsense and waste of time.

I mean my only question is why would Noah Sebastian himself actually want to work with Poppy???

Is she something special?

#bad omens #poppy and Noah #rock sound #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #spill the tea #drama #rumors #noah sebastian davis #nick folio #jolly karlsson #nicholas ruffilo

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khaire-traveler · 6 months ago

Note

whenever i see Aphrodite in visions she is associated with fire. i don’t remember her having any specific association with it, but she always appears to me with some form of fire: (Magma, Flames, Warm glowing light.) this isn’t a very pressing or serious ask, just something i’m curious if you have thoughts on or not

Khaire, Nonny!

It's certainly not unusual for deities to present themselves atypically. I've heard of Apollo presenting himself to others with aspects of darkness, Dionysus presenting himself as extremely serious and stern, and Aphrodite presenting herself using a different appearance each time. Know that it's entirely normal for deities to change things up between worshippers; it's very common. c:

Regarding the fire association specifically, I also can't recall a specific historical connection, but I will say it strongly reminds me of Aphrodite's war aspect, as well as her connection to passion. Maybe these are aspects of hers that she'd like you to explore. There could be some kind of lesson she wants to teach you regarding passion (for life, for a career, for a significant other, etc.), assertiveness, inner strength, or ambition. It makes me think of the message "Fight for it because you deserve it," as in don't give up on something you're passionate about because you're worth the end result - your happiness is worth the end result. I obviously have no idea if this is what she's actually trying to convey; it's just the first thing I thought of. XD

I can definitely see making connections to her and fire, though, be it of your own accord or through visions she's given you. Although her origins tend to involve the ocean, I feel that love - in all its forms - has an element of fire to it. The secure warmth of hug shared, the roaring flames of a passionate kiss, the toasty comfort of good self-care - all of these things and more are all expressions of love. This is a perspective of Aphrodite that I'm honestly surprised isn't talked about more; I'm very glad you brought it up from your own experience, and it's extremely awesome that she brought it to your attention.

I wonder why she specifically chose to present herself in such a way. 🤔 I'd say it's uncommon enough for it to stick out. I actually don't think I've ever heard of someone describing an experience with Aphrodite relating to fire, but I'm sure it's happened before. I'd be shocked if no one else has either made their own connections like this or seen her present similarly. Maybe someone reading this can chime in with their own experiences! Regardless, I encourage you to look more into this. You could try divination, or whatever communication methods you use, to ask her if there's a specific reason that she presents herself this way. I'd be curious to know her answer if you're ever comfortable sharing it!

I will say that sometimes when a deity presents themselves in a form that is remarkably different than usual, it's because they have come with a specific purpose relating to the change. I had a friend (remaining anonymous) who is trans and struggled with comparing himself to "manlier" men. Apollo purposely presented to him with a more feminine appearance, usually looking extremely AFAB, to help him slowly move past his limiting expectations of himself. Essentially, "I'm still a man, right? So why wouldn't you be?" A very touching and beautiful story that makes a great example of how deities will sometimes use atypical presentations for a specific purpose. If she has a purpose for this, I hope you're able to figure it out soon!

Thank you for sharing your interesting vision! I definitely think this is a really cool and special experience to have with Aphrodite. I hope she brings plenty of warmth and comfort in your life. Take care. c: 🩷

#anon asks #answered asks #aphrodite deity #aphrodite worship

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jillsandwhichs · 2 months ago

Text

Valenfield Oneshots/AUs Collection, Chapter 15, Proposal

Masterlist

Pairing: Jill Valentine & Chris Redfield

Summary: Chris proposes to Jill

Status of their relationship in this one shot: Dating/Engaged

WC: 3.5k

Type: SFW

A/n: Hi! Hope you all enjoy. Please check out my masterlist, there's a lot of stuff there. You can get to know me, you can see the rules of my blog and then you can see all of my fanfictions. You'll be able to find the previous chapters to this fic and upcoming ones. You'll also be able to find my Wattpad & AO3. Comments, reblogs & likes are appreciated. Thank you

A lot has recently been on Chris's mind. Overall, his life and the choices he has made along the way. Everyday, he over contemplates what he's done. Whether or not it was worth it. Or whether or not he'd regret it in the future. Of course, there are some decisions he's decided to make that later on he'd wish he didn't commit. But he can't go back in time, therefore there's no reason to dwell on said commitments.

Although something he doesn't regret, is the path he's taken in life. The overall status of it. What career he chose, what style he chose, what appearance he's chose and best of all, the romantic life he has chosen. He's had his fair share of girlfriends, there's absolutely no denying that. But absolutely none of them have compared to his current, Jill.

That woman is his one & only. Day and night, what's on his mind? Her. It's always her. She manages to make him feel ways no one else ever has. She brings the best out in him. With her, he could go from being livid to gleeful. She's his safe space, his comfort zone, his home away from home. He loves everything about her. And one of quite a few choices he's made, one he doesn't regret is meeting her & falling for her.

In all honesty, without her, Chris doesn't know where he'd be currently. Would he be apart of the BSAA? Would he have met someone else? Would he be this happy? Those are the questions he finds himself asking often. Without her, he doesn't think he'd be happy nor content in his life. She brings joy into it that no one else ever does. She's the only woman he needs in his life. He wants her, only her, forever.

Chris, as of tonight, plans to propose to Jill. His palms have been sweating & his nerves have been shaky all damn night. He doesn't even understand why. His heart tells him she'll say yes but his brain is in attempts to convince him otherwise. He won't fumble though. He can't wait to see the perfect look on her face when he gets on that one knee. He sat up all night last week preparing a speech for it. He prays it is enough.

His arms were resting on the ledge of the balcony as he gazed off over the water. The moon was directly facing above it, causing it's shine to reflect off of the water, it was like a scene out of a movie. Chris & Jill went on a getaway together for the week. It all worked out, Jill has no suspicion since she's the one who planned the trip. They're currently in Barcelona, which Jill has wanted to visit since she was a young girl.

They even had enough money to book a nice hotel, they have a hot tub in it & everything! Although, Chris was the one morely excited about that...

"Handsome, you ready to go?" Jill asked from behind Chris, they split up for a few moments so she could use the bathroom. Chris pushed his arms off of the ledge and turned out, placing his arms behind him on the ledge. "Yeah baby." Chris replied, sighing deeply. Jill's face scrunched as if she was confused. She crossed her arms slowly as she took her time stepping over to him. She was wearing jean shorts and a cute white beachy style shirt, it wasn't her usual attire but it fit her.

"You doing okay?" Jill questioned him, placing her hands on his hips and staring up at him lovingly. "Of course, my love, I just think I'm getting dazed from that food." He snickered, placing his hands on her lower back, softly stroking it with his thumbs. "Trust me, me too honey, it was very good. Better than what we get back in the states." Jill laughed, smiling up at him. "Ready to go now?" "Yeah, let's go peach." Chris nodded, leaning down and kissing her forehead before moving away and grabbing onto her hand, the two interlocking their fingers together.

Chris asked to take her down to the beach, of course, she obliged. He told her the reason was is that he wanted to see if the water was warm enough for a swim, but duh, that is not true. He's dreamt of proposing to her at a beach of some sort. One is Barcelona seemed fitting. There's a sentimental aspect to it. The two would always go swimming together, even before they dated. Back in Raccoon City, there was a extensive beach just outside Arklay County, they'd often go together on heated summer days & just swim. They'd have the time of their lives.

And so even after they began dating, they still went to the beach quite commonly. Chris remembers a time he threw her in the water & she got all fussy. It was hilarious. Those were some good times. He thinks about them often. He & Jill just have something with going to lakes, oceans, reservoirs, etc.. together. Maybe that's their thing?

As they held hands, Jill & Chris walked down the pavemented cross walk, seeing all the sailboats & speedboats aligned at the dock. There were also small apartments nearby too, it would be quite the dream to live near a beach, at least for Jill. Although, she does enjoy living out in the countryside as her & Chris do currently. "I doubt the water is gonna be warm enough for a dip, you know that, right babe?" Jill chuckled, looking down as they walked. "Eh, possibly, guess we'll have to see baby." Chris hummed to her.

"Thank you for coming on this trip with me." Jill expressed. It's not that he didn't think he would. She thought he'd love to. But she also knows he loves to work and with going to Barcelona, he'd have to give that up for a weekend. "Oh sweetie, it was my pleasure. Anytime with you is a great time." Chris exclaimed, squeezing her hand lovingly. "It's just that... I just understand you love working, I know you do, I never wanna take that from you. I felt sort of guilty, y'know?" Jill stopped in her tracks, crossing her arms swiftly.

Chris gave her a somber expression. She really has no clue in the world, does she? It'll be perfect when he pops the question. "Baby." Chris whispered and he took a step towards her. He clasped his hands onto her cheeks, caressing them with ease, making her timidness fade away into oblivion. "You, you matter more to me than working does. Spending time with you is my favorite thing to do, Jill. Don't you ever think I'd choose work over you, okay?" "Mhm." Jill shook her head reassuringly, moving her hands up to hold onto his wrists.

"Good, smart girl." Chris gave her a gentle look before drawing himself closer to her, pressing his lips to hers. Jill breathed in deeply, relaxing in his touch. He knew just how to get her to calm down. Jill adored the fact Chris is always there for her. Jill never had someone she could rely on to be there for her ; then she met Chris, and oh boy did that change. He always knows what to say, what to do & how to act. He's her stress reliever.

Letting go of his wrists, Jill wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down even closer to her. Jill wanted him pressed against her, she wanted to feel all of him. "Chris..." Jill whispered between kisses. "I love you so much." "I love you too, my love." Chris responded, giving her such refined affection. Jill felt surges of love flowing through her. She is so in love with him. Jill was never a super affectionate person, but that's somewhat changing.

It was even darker now, the stars finally sparkling in the mid blue sky as the moon overlooked the large city. Everyone's lights were turned off in their home. It was as if it was just them. Them in their own little world. It was peaceful. Chris & Jill are in the more quieter side of the city but even so, they made the most of it. It was a special day so far but Jill didn't even know how much more great it was going to get. Oh the night she had awaiting for her was more than special.

Leisurely pulling away, Chris gazed into Jill's warm-hearted eyes, getting lost in them. She was so beautiful. "I will always love you." Chris whispered, moving his hand back to hers & holding it. "As will I." Jill smiled, walking alongside him once again. "Tomorrow, I'd like for us to do some shopping, maybe bring back home some gifts for people." "Fine by me, got anyone in mind?" "Well, Parker, Claire, Rebecca... If I'm feeling generous, Jessica." Jill rolled her eyes & giggled. Chris scoffed jokingly, nudging her. "Definitely stuff for the first three."

Light breezes began to pick up, they were clearly getting closer to the beach. Chris began to feel more anxious now. He was actually about to propose to the love of his life. The brittleness was becoming hard to handle but he's vowing to push through it. He needs to make her his wife and he her husband. It'll be the best thing ever if she does say yes. He just hopes that she does.

"We're getting closer... It's so pretty here at night!" Jill spoke, her tone radiant. "Just like you." Chris teased, patting her butt playfully, causing Jill to cutely roll her eyes. "You're not so bad yourself." She winked, allowing him to hold her hand again. "You're adorable." Chris chortled, watching people bike on past them. As stated, some parts of the city are more lively at night. "My feet are killing me though." Jill sighed, looking down at them. "Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Chris questioned. Before Jill could even get a word out, Chris snatched her off her feet, carrying her bridal style. Quite fitting.

"Baby!" Jill squealed out, hitting his shoulder playfully. She tossed her head back as she tittered, her smile was so bright. It was so real. Chris couldn't recall the last time she was like this. Their life is so riddled with horrific terrors that await them at every corner. It's hard to see the genuine sides of her or even himself. Even if he wasn't showing it off as much, he was happy. Really fucking happy.

"Your smile is so fucking refreshing to see." Chris let out, his entire soul & heart going into the sentence. Jill's face dropped. Not that she was upset or mad by what he said, it's just that she herself realized what she did too. Jill leaned in to him and kissed him a few times, just a couple pecks. "You're the reason I feel this way, I love you." "As do I beautiful." Chris smirked, kissing her cheek, still carrying her as if she weighed absolutely nothing.

Jill nestled her head into the crook of his neck as Chris continued to convoy to the beach. She was comfortable & safe in his arms. He'd do absolutely anything to protect her. She is his baby, his love, his woman, he'd die for her. Jill's never once felt unsafe around him and vice versa. "I'm tired." Jill yawned with a cackle. "Oh baby, I know, let's just walk along the beach for some time, okay sweetheart?" "Okay baby." Jill heaved out, resting in his arms.

The pavement led down to a wooden bridge that would the lead to the sandy beach. "Here we go." Chris mumbled out, walking along with bridge. "The sea breeze is so nice." "Agreed hun." Chris said happily. "Do you want me to put you down on the sand?" Chris asked her, getting closer & closer to the thick, soft sand. "Just hold me a bit longer, please sweetie?" "Always Jill." Chris tittered, squeezing her thigh with the hand that was wrapped around it.

As his feet hit the sand, the grains went between his toes. It felt good. "You sure you don't wanna be put down? Sand feels great." "You just don't wanna hold me." Jill spoke sternly, rolling her eyes. "I wanna hold you close to me all the time, so shush." Chris snickered, kissing her cheek, walking along the sand pathway.

The moment was so close. Chris was so excited yet so nervous. The moment he drops to that one knee, there is no going back. He's going to make sure his proposal is as meaningful as possible. All he wants is to see her face while he does it. She's going to look beautiful... Well, if she says yes, that is. Jill gazed at Chris as her head laid on his shoulder. She was just simply admiring him & his beauty. As he was ambling down, he caught on to the fact she was studying his face.

"What're you looking at?" Chris laughed, taking a look at her too. "You're a pretty man, like not just handsome but pretty." Jill explained. Chris had a puzzled look on his face before just nodding. He didn't really know what it meant but he appreciated the praise. "Thank you? Is that a good thing?" "Of course it is, Chris." Jill snickered.

Continuing to wander along the shoreline, light waves washed up on the shore. Slips of water reached up to his feet, it wasn't even that cold, rather warm. Then again, this entire time, the air has been warming up. "Water isn't all too bad." "It isn't? You still going to take a dip?" Jill questioned him. "Eh, I don't know. I do like how it is right now." "Okay honey... By the way, you can put me down now." Jill whispered, letting go of his shoulders and allowing her body to fall from his grasp.

"My feet don't hurt as bad anymore, thank you, love." Jill thanked him, kissing his cheek. She was a tad bit shorter than him, so she had to stand on her tippy toes. "Good." Chris cackled, trotting right beside her. As they walked, the water washed up on Jill's feet, causing her to shriek. "Oh, it does feel nice." Jill jogged into the water till it was just below her knees. Her jean shorts were a bit above her lower thighs.

Chris stared at Jill as she was having the time of her life. She was giggling so preciously as the water kept crashing at her. Her shorts & shirt were getting wet, not horribly, mostly speckles, but she didn't even mind, it was fun. Fun was rare for her, for them. Chris just stood there, his arms at his side. His throat went dry as he watched her. He shakily stepped closer to where she was, but not close enough to have the waves hit him. This was it.

She was turned around, stepping around in the water & gazing up at the moon. It was like she was in a trance. In his pocket, that's where the ring was. The ring had costed him a little over 2000$. It had sliver flowers engraved along the rim of it with multiple small diamonds mounted into it. It was definitely her style. And it was extremely expensive. He wasn't going to go cheap on her.

Clearing his throat, snagging the ring from his pocket, Chris kneeled down on one knee, checking the box to double check whether or not the ring was in it, luckily it was. He took a few small breaths, calming himself down & making sure he wasn't going to back out. Not because he didn't want to marry her but because his anxiety was killing him right now. But he's going to push right through it, as he should.

She still hadn't noticed yet as she was to giddy with the water. She wasn't acting like a child playing in the waves but rather a woman experiencing joy after so long. He hopes she'll feel even more joy after what he's about to do. "Baby..." Chris spoke out, his voice shaky. She didn't budge, she obviously didn't hear him. "Jill." Chris spoke out again, this time louder.

"What babe?" Jill asked as she turned around. As she did, she stopped, just standing there. She was completely stunned. Was this really happening? Was Chris really proposing? Her heart began to beat faster than ever, her body felt warm all of the sudden and her throat felt like it was going to burst. Chris was there, looking so handsome. The ring even glistened beneath the sky, the moment came together ever so perfectly.

"Jill..." Chris began, clearing his throat. His hands were still shaking. "The moment I saw you enter that office back in '96, I found you to be so beautiful. Not only was it your looks that drew me in, but your soul too. You're so pure. You're different from everybody else. You're one of a kind. Never did I see the day that I'd be asking this. Never once did I ever imagine that we'd even make it this far." He paused, gazing up at her with pure joy & contentment.

Her hands were over her mouth as he went on. "But Jill, I love you. I love you more than anything. I think about you day and night. You riddle my mind. I love you. I'm asking you, I ask you to be my wife. It would make me the happiest man on the planet..." Chris stopped, he wasn't fully done but here it was, her answer to the important ask.

Her nerves settled but not completely. She still felt like her throat was about to jump out of her mouth. She was so fucking happy. Of course, she had an idea that he'd propose sooner or later, but she most definitely didn't expect it now. She had him completely & utterly fooled. "Jesus... Oh my Gosh!" Jill shouted out, running her fingers through her hair, trying to calm herself down. "So? Will you? Will you make me the happiest man on Earth and be my wife, Jill?" Chris asked softly, his eyes watering. He wasn't emotional, rather stoic, but this just meant everything to him. "Yes, yes, I'll marry you." Jill nodded profusely, jumping into his arms with glee.

Chris's face eased as he heard her answer. All of that nervousness disappeared as if it were never there. He held her tightly, not ever wanting to let her go. This was a moment for the books. Jill ran her fingers through his hair as she kissed him repeatedly, all over his face before she then pressed her forehead against his. "I'd marry you a thousand times over again." Jill whispered, kissing his lips passionately.

"Mmm." Chris groaned out, kissing her back. This kiss felt more special than usual. It was full of real & unconditional happiness. Of course they are happy together, but this moment brought more delight to their lives than they've had in some time. "Here." Chris laughed out, taking her left hand and slipping her new, beautiful ring onto her finger, admiring the way it looked on her.

"It's gorgeous baby, thank you." Jill spoke with honesty, analyzing the ring with elation. "I'm glad you love it." Chris complied, stroking her shoulder swiftly. "I fucking love you." Chris uttered out, kissing her shoulder a couple times, then her cheek. "I love you so much." Jill mumbled back, placing her hands onto his fibrow chest as she smashed her lips with his, opening her mouth & allowing him to french her. Their tongues danced together in a prance.

Chris's hands roamed along her backside, pulling her waist into him, feeling her slim body against his. "You're now my fiancé." Chris chuckled, hugging her sweetly. "We need to start planning ASAP." Jill giggled, a adorable snort releasing from her as she did so. "How does Mrs. Redfield sound?" "Hmm... Jill Redfield... I like it, it's got a ring to it." Jill beamed up at him, booping his nose.

"What if you take my last name? Chris Valentine, ay?" Jill joked. "Mmm, no, you're taking mine gorgeous." Chris leered, kissing her again. "You don't even know how tense I've been tonight." Chris let out a relieved sigh. "Oh honey, I could tell, I just didn't know why... I'm glad it was just this... Did you think I'd say no?" Jill asked. "No, well yes, but no, but on the off chance-" Jill cut him off, "Never in an infinite amount of years would I have said no to being your forever wife." Jill said with tranquil. "Good baby." Chris whispered back.

"I can't wait to tell everyone once we're back in the states." "I know sweetheart, me neither." Chris soughed, rubbing her back. "Although, I am still tired, shall we head back to the hotel?" "Surely, my love." Chris agreed, taking her left hand in his, kissing it, before strolling off of the beach with her.

The amount of love the two of them felt for each other right now was indescribable. Little do they know, they'll go on to be married forever.

#resident evil #jill valentine #chris redfield #valenfield #valenfield fanfiction #cute #adorable #tumblr fyp

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