#this is some *fantastic* meta from everyone above!!

[angstandhappiness]

Interesting

So Blitz's arc in Apology Tour is him learning to apologize, right? Like. Because he doesn't realize that he's harmed so many people in his life. RIGHT? He thinks he's absolutely justified in everything he does, right, and he hurts people with cruel indifference? And he deserves to fucking stew in it?

Well of course not.

And the takes that say so suck.

It's wild how many people forget that Blitz has hated himself for his entire adult life, and that this was established long before Apology Tour. Where were they during Truth Seekers? Ozzie's? Queen Bee? Oops?

Blitz knows he has a long history of hurting people. He knew it each time he did it. He's been told many times over again, and honestly, it hasn't made him stop yet . . . He lashes out and hurts people because he sees himself as irredeemably destructive and he's scared of true intimacy. It's not logical or right, but it's also not because he's oblivious or needs to learn that his behavior has consequences. He lives with the consequences every day.

I mean, a moment of careless distraction in his youth led to the death of his mother. Talk about consequences and guilt . . .

This is the guy who's soon going to say "I make everyone's lives worse."

So why were his apologies early in Apology Tour so disingenuous and surface level? Why did they deepen later in the episode? Well the guy has fucking walls up. Obviously.

Personal note: I relate to Blitz in . . . a lot of ways. One of them is holding this burning feeling somewhere in my gut that says I destroy things. Based on-- you know, trauma. You can't dwell on a feeling like that all the time and live. So you bury it. You do what you can to avoid putting more people in your line of fire. You put up barriers to keep things light and shallow.

He chooses apologies where he might have caused physical harm but didn't do any emotional damage. He tells Stolas he'll apologize to everyone but him, and he skips apologizing to Moxxie. Because he can't face that he's pushes people away who he genuinely cares about. Because he can't stand to see those people hurting because of him. Because he needs friendship and he needs love, but feels like he's ultimately a toxic presence in the lives of the people he gets close to.

So this is all to say that the arc of Apology Tour ISN'T Blitz realizing that he's wronged people or that there are consequences to his actions. It's a process of him having his walls bulldozed by seeing Stolas get hurt by him and learning that the walls HAVE TO GO because they're making him lose something that he can't stand to lose ("Harriet, I cannot be without you," to quote Stolas quoting a romcom).

But once the walls are gone it's going to hurt like. Well. Hell.

And this post is going to end like many of my others, with me trembling in anticipation of the utter mental anguish that this man's growing pains are about to bring.

[artbyblastweave]

As a person that knows a lot more about capeshit than me, what’s the meta-textual significance of the Superpowers in The Power Fantasy abstaining from establishing secret identities?

Principally it's to signal that the characters, while informed by the traditional superhero paradigm, exist largely outside of it.

Contemporary superhero fiction has a complicated relationship with the concept of The Secret Identity. When you come at the premise fresh without years of ossified genre convention, you get hit with the double whammy that a civilian identity is increasingly difficult to keep secret and that even if you buy into the idea of doing vigilante shit in secret to avoid going to jail, it's still going to take some extra work to get to the finish line of grown men calling themselves "Batman" or "Ant Man" and expecting to be taken seriously.

So, retellings will often go out of their way justify how these characters could develop these public identities semi-organically. "Superman" is usually not Clark Kent's idea in modern retellings- the media names him that, Lois names him that, and he runs with it. The Batman has the fantastic recurring gag that Bruce appears to actually self-identify as the comically overwrought "Vengeance," but the bat motif led to everyone just calling him Batman instead. The X-Men have advanced the idea, in a couple different forms, that "Mutant names" are a sub-cultural thing brushing up against a cult thing, a ceremonial way of setting yourself above and apart from baseline humanity. And you've got military callsigns, obviously. I think that's where "Ant-Man" and "Hawkeye" come from in the MCU.

In The Power Fantasy, none of the superpowers have a dual identity because they've all got extremely specific political (or artistic) projects that don't mesh well with that. To a degree I think this is playing in the same space as X-Men, where a lot of the cast have shifted over the years from being public ciphers to being public activists whose real names are on the news alongside their code names when they blow something up. But even if they don't have dual identities, the superpowers do have identities, personas, nicknames; there's a mix of deliberate image-building and outside-designation-by-society occurring. "Heavy" Harris is a thing an activist or cult leader who controls gravity could plausibly come to be called in the course of Moving and Shaking. Masumi is mentioned, in passing, to also go by the name of "Deconstructa," which reads like either a pretentious artist thing or a common-parlance nickname she picked up after the Kaiju thing. Eliza Hellbound is clearly not that woman's real name, but also, it is- and it's descriptive, and she's certainly powerful enough that that's what she gets to be called if she wants. "Jacky Magus" is really really really obviously not what's on that guys birth certificate, but it's also the only name he has that actually matters. Ettiene gets a whole monologue about the necessity of constructing himself as a figurehead that human governments can work with. He wears bright yellow, he gives interviews, and I will eat my hat if his actual last name is Lux. These people are similar to traditional superheroes in that they are constructing larger-than-life identities, they're playing a game, they're selling the world on specific narratives about themselves. But the truth that they're covering for is never that they've got some kind of secret civilian life waiting for them when they clock out. By choice or otherwise, all six of them are simply well past that.

[alchemicaldesignquery]

Overwatch Design: Hazard

It's been a while.

Now that the 6v6 test is slowly winding down (a month and a bit of solid testing and queue times is more than I expected to get in, honestly) and the Dev team is looking toward the next iterations (Moth Meta Classic and Min 1/Max 3, both of which are going to be less ideal versions of the format), I thought it prudent to go into another deep dive about the most recent hero release, and lemme just say-

This fuckin' guy.

There is a lot to like about Hazard; predictable mobility (A Winston jump + fair Doomfist rocket punch) , limited kit application (Bone Spurs + Not-ridiculous Dmg Reduction), space making (all of the above) and with some quirky weaknesses (Wall climb's odd slow down at the tail end is perfect for sleeps/knifes/walling). Overall, a really strong foundation with few/fixable adjustment zones.

And then there's the God. Damn. Wall.

Look, I enjoy Tank. It's been my main since jump, back when I mistakenly thought Mei's Wall was as good as a barrier and kept blocking my team off from being killed and allowingtheenemytohealbehindmywallandcontesttheobjectiveforfree-

(I was a Reinhardt main and didn't know it yet)

So it stands to reason I'm going to be a bit more harsh about my Tank critiques in design. Albeit, the recent slew of Tank releases has also been a bit concerning across the board, but that's another discussion- especially given most of Hazard's kit is very solid with plenty of potential.

But I cannot stress enough how bad it is to provide a front line presence, who is going to be spending the majority of their time not glancing back at their teammates to see what they are doing?

A totem mechanic with collision.

There is a very very very good reason why Mei is not a Tank.

Because if you thought getting walled off from shooting the enemy was bad, having your sightline artificially blocked so you can't heal, help, move, or adjust due to the same is worse. Significantly more so when it's your own teammate (even if unintentionally 99% of the time) doing it.

Where you go, I can't follow

"Drop the Wall!"

Totems are mechanics that can be deployed to produce various effects in the game. Some examples:

Baptiste's Immortality Field

Illari's Pylon

Soldier's Biotic Field (technically)

Symmetra's Teleporter/Turrets

Barriers

Most of these function quite well, with some allowing for destruction, and thus, interactivity between heroes. Totems play an important role in design, allowing for the detachment of some of a Hero's kit potential, into a separate component; an avatar representative of some of their potency, at the cost of a more simplified (and counterable) interaction or-

Totems can be destroyed, blocked, avoided, or misplaced depending heavily on player interaction and input

But when a Totem possesses collision, the stakes increase to a rather significant degree; there is no longer room for error, as the totem's very existence represents both resistance and obstacle to everyone in the match.

This isn't to say Collision Totems can't be done well?

Mei's Ice Block, for instance, is a fairly balanced and well executed example. The context here is that Mei converts herself into the Totem, removing the potential for the rest of her kit in favour of achieving a more resilient state. That transformation comes at such a significant cost, that the scenarios in which it is useful are isolated, even niche. This gives the ability Texture in a way many other mechanics in the game can't hope to achieve.

And Mei's Ice Block can still severely hamper her own teammates.

Collision Totems need to be handled carefully and the why of it all comes down to a sticky topic where Player Input (or Skill if you want the gameplay translation) is concerned: Precision.

A player's ability to be precise is a huge measure of Player Input, allowing for fantastic gameplay moments, highlights, and unmistakable expressions anyone can recognize-

-but when mechanics like Collision Totems are highly dependent on precision to achieve even nominal success?

You've gone and created a situation in which even just learning the hero, is going to frustrate players. Learning is, by nature, imprecise and the road to minimizing how detrimental your gameplay is on your teammates is going to build an unnecessary level of frustration onto the hero.

There's a reason people referred to Mei as Satan in Overwatch 1.

Broad MMR is filled with people learning; not just the hero they are playing, but heroes they are playing against, and with as well. To climb in ranks, MMR, or just Player Input, you will make a lot of mistakes.

In a game like Overwatch, with a boatload of variance at every level, that learning could take (has taken for many of us) years.

Hazard's Wall represents, not just a Collision Totem, in the same sense as Mei's own Ice Wall, but a super-amped up version of it that multiplies the frustration for all.

I really hate that Mole Hill

It isn't as big as Mei Wall. It isn't as imposing as Mei Wall. It isn't as confusing as Mei Wall (multiple pillars each with their own health pools but no distinct visual effect to represent this before being damaged)-

-but hooooo boy howdy does it do a lot more than Mei Wall ever could!

Persistant knockback on contact

Burst Damage on contact

Anti Mobility on contact (no wall climb)

Omni-placement (not land-locked)

And that's in addition to the standard blockading effects of a Mei Wall. As a Totem, Jagged Wall provides far more impact when on the battlefield against enemies, to the point it can be considered as useful and engaging as a Torb turret, which is to say-

Jagged Wall's effects are broad enough in application that it must be considered in every teamfight at the same level of detriment as powerfully automated totems like Immortality Field and Turrets

Trying to operate outside of that paradigm, makes it very difficult to navigate a teamfight (especially from a Divey Tank with mobility to boot) given it can appear very suddenly to ruin plans, engagements, and retreats.

But that...was sort of the design goal. It's frustrating playing Tank and having an inanimate object counter large portions of your kit, but we've got experience with that. It's a familiar frustration at least.

It's when the Hazard is out ahead or mixing it up with the enemy (as one does when Tanking) and you are attempting any of the following as his teammate:

Healing (him or your fellow teammates diving with him)

Supporting (discords, immo fields, suzus, life grips, etc.)

Tanking (6v6 format makes duo with him a significant gamble)

Finishing off low enemies

Sniping

Trying to navigate narrow corridors or tight confines

Free movement/Mobility in a teamfight

That "appear very suddenly to ruin plans, engagements, and retreats" becomes an unacceptable level of frustration in the design.

A Collision Totem appears, decreeing that the engagement has now changed and/or ended, not because the Hazard was purposefully trying to end it, but because the Wall appeared and blocked off LoS for any number of the possibilities listed above.

Wall takes the agency of your teammates and puts it as a secondary priority to a Tank who cannot afford to look around and take into account the dozens of ways in which his teammates might be trying to leverage their own mechanics, kits, and Roles, to achieve success.

A Hazard is more likely (and well within expectation) to Wall himself off from an enemy trying to kill him when he's low, than rely on the healing from his teammates. It just so happens to, inadvertently, interfere with many of the other possible plans his teammates might have had for engagement purposes.

And, to reiterate, this is less of a problem (but still one) the higher in 'Skill' or Rank one gets, but learning takes time and mistakes happen while you learn, which is a far far closer experience to the vast majority of the Overwatch Playerbase. The fact it's going to cost your teammates their own opportunities too is what makes it bad design.

So what can be done?

Honestly, removing the Wall entirely could yield some really positive results.

I know it's a unique mechanic for the Tank Role (even if not for the game itself), but the isolated potential wrapped up in that Totem could be repurposed towards large portions of his kit, expanding both his mobility, engagement potential, and Texture to make him an ideal Tank.

Without Wall, there's room to increase Violent Leap's versatility, both in the initial Leap as well as the Slash (both of which are separate activations). Increasing his ability to change directions or linger in the air between the two stages of the ability, could significantly refine his engagement potential, while allowing for a stronger knockback the longer he lingers between each stage (and maintaining the counter element of it) or activating Spike Guard briefly to absorb enemy CDs/Burst hits before the slash.

His Wall Climb as well, would benefit from a versatility and potency boost; losing the wall means losing the awkward use of climbing it to reach higher ground...which feels like a waste of the ability where other Tanks with similar mobility can achieve most high grounds just fine off a single CD.

Allowing him to perch on vertical surfaces, or gain further height at the cost of climbing slower, or even resetting the first stage of his Violent Leap at the apex of the climb would all be beneficial to his gameplay.

Give his Spike Guard knockback, for isolation and space-making potential. Heck, allow Spike Guard to add temporary increased Knockback for up to 2s if it damages an enemy.

Give his Ultimate a little extra root time.

Allow Bonespurs to persist on the field for upto 1-2s (this....might be too much for the engine to take, but the idea is still solid theory).

All of it is plausible and clarifies his uniqueness as a Tank-

-if you just. Get Rid. Of the Damned. Wall.

Overall, it's superfluous to the rest of his kit, with very little kit cohesion and can be removed without impacting the rest of his gameplay much at all. It's a bit of bloat that is very easily snipped off in favour of cleaner, adjustable changes that make his gameplay more unique.

And you also get rid of the overly frustrating elements that were never meant to go on a Tank to begin with.

[andtheylive]

for the meta meme: sam + the aftermath of the new york attacks (since canon will never let us see it :))) )

welcome to the REAL scream 7, written and directed by moi!

first off: i'm finishing out the trilogy that we were supposed to have. i will be talking about what happens in the aftermath of new york and what i think 7 should have been (based on leaks and rumors).

let us begin!

part one: the aftermath of nyc

for the first time since 2022, sam and tara split ways. sam has no intentions on staying in new york city; tara is right, there's not much holding her there. and with one of their previous assailants being on the nypd, sam doesn't have confidence in new york's finest to keep her safe ... especially since she killed the bastard.

it's not an immediate move; sam stays while both chad and mindy recover from their injuries, which i imagine would take some time. especially chad, because that poor kid was treated like a pin cushion in 6, holy hell. she also takes this time to allow tara her own space; sam is present, but considerably less overbearing. the following six months are spent observing tara and her life from an arm's length distance — close enough for tara to reach out if she needs something, but without sam breathing down her neck.

this is ... hard, for sam. incredibly hard. but she does spend this time getting closer to danny brackett, especially now that their relationship is public to the core four. sam is surprised, and initially cautious (bc trauma lmaoo!!!) when he tells her that he would be willing to leave new york with her.

learning to trust is difficult to sam, especially in regards to romantic dynamics ... again, thank you so much richie, you worm. after much internal debate and discussions with tara + other important figures in her life (because no one knows how to keep a SECRET amongst this group!!), sam agrees to this.

they escape the cold and seasonal changes of new york and return back to the west coast. i'm thinking socal (fitting with 3's motif of taking place in hollywood hehehe!) but not necessarily. they get an apartment and sam finds a new job that she doesn't love, but it pays the bills. she considers going back to school and contemplates what she should spend the rest of her life doing; it's only fitting, considering her life has almost ended twice.

then come the horrors!

part two: what 7 could (and/or should) have been!

starting with the rumors:

sam and tara splitting up (see above) comes directly from behind the mask's report of what scream 7 would have been. i diverge with where the movie would have gone exclusively because i don't want to alienate or exclude any tara writers, but: scream 7 would have killed off tara because of jenna's busy schedule filming other projects (i presume wednesday and beetlejuice beetlejuice). the core four would have taken a back seat, so it makes sense to have sam separated from her friends.

who is our killer? i am running with everyone else's speculation and saying christina carpenter would have made a fantastic ghostface for 7. consider the build up we've received over two movies, the foreshadowing in 6 that she has disowned sam after ONE ghostface attack. after a second one featuring her and tara? i would absolutely by her snapping and deciding to take sam out of the equation to keep tara safe for the rest of her life.

also WHAT A SUBVERSION OF 2 & 6 which feature a parent killing to avenge their slain child. 7 having a parent attempt to kill one child to defend and avenge the other??? christina punishing her daughter for being the child of a monster while becoming a monster herself, killing off the people that sam holds dear as she tries to build a new life?? oh ....... that is cinema. devastating cinema.

i will significantly diverge from the leaks in a major way, however: i will not write sam being a ghostface killer. the idea of writing a person experiencing psychosis as a killer .... mmm, i don't love it!

i can understand how narratively, it would be interesting to see sam try so desperately to defy her father's footsteps and fall into them anyway, but i ain't about that life! i'm not doing it to my girl! i don't have a problem with the films portraying sam killing to defend herself & the people she cares about, especially when they are the ones that cast the first rock. baring the mask and taking up her father's mantel however is not a satisfying end for sam imo.

[thequiver]

Part 2

A continuation of the above meta is under the cut!

So as we left off in the last section of the meta- Crystal was so happy and excited to be free of her husband who....as we saw was NOT doing well. We next see Pietro in West Coast Avengers (1985) # Annual 1, where he's gone off the deep end but at least he's sticking up for himself? And let's just say....that Crystal's cheating, his constant exclusion from the group, and Wanda's insistence that Pietro establishing boundaries with his cheating wife is hurting her somehow have.....done a number on him. But let's see how bad exactly things have gotten.

West Coast Avengers (1985) # Annual 1

Yeah, Pietro is mad enough and hurt enough that he's turned on everyone he's ever loved and cared about. He's now blaming the Avengers for Crystal cheating on him because if they hadn't left him during the Sentinel attack back in Avengers (1963) #104 he never would have met Crystal in the first place. And Wanda's betrayal of prioritizing Crystal over himself is especially taking a toll here (keep in mind too that Crystal and Wanda barely know each other due to Pietro and Wanda's periods of estrangement during his relationship with Crystal, as seen in the issues discussed in Part 1).

We also see that he's very much soured from his past romanticism. He's very much sworn off love, and has especially sworn off sex because "flesh is a runner's enemy." He's not doing well folks. He's not doing well.

West Coast Avengers (1985) # Annual 1

Pietro's scheme of destroying everyone is thwarted by Vision showing him his nephews for the first time. In a truly touching scene were he tells Pietro, "You claim you hate everyone on two worlds- your wife, your sister, your former team- but can you truly hate these two innocents, whose father and mother you will have to murder to establish your claim? Tommy and Billy need their uncle, Pietro- just as your own child needs her father! Whatever we adults have done to you-" ...so Vision might be the only person who's actually like acknowledging that perhaps in fact, the adults around Pietro have contributed to the myriad of issues in the young man's life.

But it's worth noting that while Pietro has a temper and we know he has a temper. We have NEVER seen him lash out like this. And we have never seen him turn his back on those he loves and has sworn loyalty to like this even when angry with them. The worst he's done is stop talking to them. Something is off with Pietro here, and it's more than just being angry that his wife is manipulative serial cheater who belongs to a racist monarchical institution that up until recently practiced slavery.

In Fantastic Four (1961) #304, Pietro kidnaps Johnny Storm's wife, Alicia (who y'all probably better know as Ben Grimm's wife) and takes her to the Bronx in yet another astonishingly racist Englehart story in order to punish Johnny Storm for not fighting harder to keep Crystal and thus allowing him to date Crystal. Pietro then vents to Alicia about what's ailing him- which is y'know the whole "My wife cheated on me because I was trying to prove myself to her and her family as being someone worthy of them- and this is also Johnny's fault...somehow."

Fantastic Four (1961) #304

Throughout this saga, Englehart determines that Pietro's hurt and pain and anger at the situation is "maniacal ego." And Englehart's entire narrative is designed around Crystal somehow being innocent and a victim in her decisions. Ben Grimm even says that he remembers Crystal as an innocent, despite being fully aware that Crystal's relationship with Pietro was started by her cheating on his friend Johnny Storm.

Fantastic Four (1961) #305

Fantastic Four (1961) #305

We can see here, that contrary to what some Crystal fans might insinuate, that up until this issue Pietro has never turned against her. But he turns against her here, because despite her actions being the cause of his upset, and the dissolution of their marriage, she is trying to speak to him self-righteously about the sanctity of marriage, and despite having been in a multi-year relationship with Johnny Storm, who she cheated on, she claims to have been an "innocent" when she started dating Pietro. Crystal has functionally taken Pietro's priority of the sanctity of marriage and his very real role as an innocent at the beginning of their relationship as she was the only one of the two of them with any experience, and claimed that his reality is hers.

And then when talking to Johnny and Alicia, Crystal avoids any responsibility at all for the situation playing out, and knows that she can get away with it, because the Fantastic Four are essentially going out of their way to ignore the fact that Crystal did anything by claiming that it is in fact Pietro's fault that his wife made a decision independent of him. Crystal literally says the year has been rough because she was sick (because she overdosed on anti-pollution poison in order to cheat on her husband) and because Pietro is attacking her friends (this one is actually his decision but we haven't seen Crystal to know how much she actually cares about it given how infrequently she talks to the Avengers at all).

And then the Fantastic Four invite Crystal to join their team. Ben, who has just been made leader of the FF in #304, and whose first plan of action is to make Reed and Sue pay more attention to their child- asks Crystal to join the team, knowing she lives on the moon and has a child. Make it make sense. Crystal accepts, and despite her earlier protests that Pietro's actions on the moon were causing him to spend too much time away from Luna- seemingly has no issues with herself being on a different planet from her daughter all the time.

In #306, Crystal is reunited with Luna and we learn that the Inhumans have granted Crystal and Luna permission to live on Earth and have sent along an Inhuman nanny whose powers allow her to recreate the environment of the moon to protect Luna from the Earth's pollution. Interestingly, we see in this issue, that not everyone seems to be as forgiving and convinced of Crystal's innocence. Her sister, Medusa, describes her as a "trial."

Fantastic Four (1961) #306

In this issue as well, we also see some pretty.....casual discussion about how what they're doing to Pietro is making him worse.

Fantastic Four (1961) #306

And the vast majority of the room is focusing on the fact that Quicksilver is "loony tunes" as Johnny Storm puts it. But one man, Ben Grimm (who just a few issues ago described Pietro as a "Fruitcake" and was asserting Crystal's innocence), seems to have developed some understanding of maybe why Pietro is like this.

Fantastic Four (1961) #306

The next time we see mention of Crystal, Pietro, and Luna is in X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2, where we get insight into Crystal's parenting the how the Inhumans are viewing her actions.

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

We learn that Crystal has essentially just....left her daughter, leaving Luna to considered a "royal ward" to be raised by family rather than her mother, and that she traveled without a way back to the moon to rejoin her daughter. We are once again getting assertions that Pietro is selfish and "arrogant" which has some merit when it comes to his pride in his powers and when it comes to the fact that y'know he didn't cheat on his wife or try to convince someone else to just deal with a betrayal like that. But as we've seen previously, Pietro's interactions with the Inhumans have focused on proving himself worthy of being one of them and of trying to be useful to his adopted people and of prioritizing them as his family.

Within X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2, Pietro sees Luna again, presumably for the first time and it causes him physical pain. But never fear, Franklin Richards (who dreamed about this exact situation) is on the case.

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

And Scott Summers, Cyclops of the X-Terminators (his team at this point in time), is making good points about how Pietro's behavior is baffling. Everyone is confused by these extreme out of character reactions. And Triton points out that Crystal was lured back to the FF by "the siren-call of an old lover."

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

We've also seen in this issue that it's not just Pietro acting odd, but Lockjaw as well. And it's in this issue that we discover that there is a reason that Pietro's behavior has been so out of character. And wouldn't you know it, it's because he's being mind controlled by Maximus, an Inhuman. We've seen Maximus before, several times, in fact he was the villain in Pietro and Crystal's very first appearance together, and we've seen over the years that Maximus is an Inhuman problem that they refuse to solve- he is the brother of their king and Black Bolt seems unwilling to do anything meaningful to stop this persistent thorn in their side.

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

Even though Medusa among the Inhumans is willing to acknowledge that Crystal really did start this, in front of Pietro, she asserts that he abandoned his child after Crystal left to join the FF, which is just not what happened. Crystal cheated on Pietro, he left, and then Crystal left her baby. Crystal joining the FF happened after Pietro had already left.

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

Maximus fully admits to mind controlling Pietro, Crystal*, and Lockjaw. I've put an asterisk next to Crystal because Maximus talks more about Crystal later.

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

Pietro starts to break out of his mind control when Jean commands Medusa to go up against Black Bolt, his own sensibilities so tuned against spouses causing each other pain that it makes him cry and snaps him out of his mind control.

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

And as SOON as he's back to his sense all of his attention is on Luna.

X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2

We then carry on with Crystal and the FF and see her regaling Johnny and Alicia with tales of romantic exploits.

Fantastic Four (1961) #309

And in this issue we see Crystal saying that the marriage fell apart because she wanted a life of action and he wanted to have his own hobby. Alicia tries to be diplomatic and point out the the incompatibility likely stemmed from the fact that to her knowledge, Crystal fell for Pietro while rebounding from her relationship with Johnny and then Crystal points out that in fact she left Johnny, and rather casually refers to her habit of cheating on people with a blithe "we all make mistakes." Johnny immediately calls for a time out after this and then he and Crystal have to go fight an enemy. During the fight Crystal references another one of Johnny's exes, and then following the fight, Johnny compares he and Crystal to Ben and Sharon, who are skirting around a relationship.

In the next issue, Alicia takes a very gentle approach to pointing out that Johnny is her husband and calls Crystal boring while bringing the two of them food. Johnny resolutely makes it clear that he'd choose his wife every time, and Crystal looks deeply upset and then pulls out a business card for Norm, the real estate agent (remember him?).

Fantastic Four (1961) #310

Norm has potentially developed a backbone and we LOVE that for him. He gives Crystal the call-out that she's so rightfully needed.

Fantastic Four (1961) #311

In Fantastic Four (1961) #312, Crystal says that she tries to avoid all X-people because of Pietro. Johnny rightfully points out that Pietro is not representative of all mutants, and it's worth noting that the only mutants Crystal has really met are Pietro and Wanda......who are not even involved in the mutant parade that the FF are looking to watch.

Crystal is continuing to position her joining the Fantastic Four as a way to leave Pietro, when Pietro left before she ever joined the team and as almost every character who's talked about him as said, he wasn't on the moon.

Fantastic Four (1961) #313

Fantastic Four (1961) #317 has Johnny give Crystal a pretty stern talking to in regard to some lingering desires between them. "I just can't get comfortable around you! We were together for so long!...one of the reasons Ben chose you was to get at me--and he succeeded! It's just too heavy having the first girl I ever loved around while I'm spending so much time away from 'Licia." He goes on to say that Crystal is still the most beautiful woman he's ever met but that he won't go back on the commitment he made to his wife even if he's still attracted to her. Johnny is basically telling Crystal that he's not going to do what she did. And good for him.

Fantastic Four (1961) #317

While Crystal is off getting messy with the Fantastic Four, Englehart seems to have forgotten or ignored the events of X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2, that show that Pietro broke free from his mind control and resumed his gentler nature. When we see him next in West Coast Avengers (1985) #34-36, he's still acting as he did while controlled by Maximus. This Pietro wants to achieve Magneto's dream of becoming the king of evil mutants. It's another one of those wildly out of character moves that leaves anyone who's read Pietro's earlier appearances scratching their heads. (Gee, I wonder what's changed since Englehart started writing Pietro this way, oh right, he was confirmed as Romani, interesting).

In an interesting turn of events, Vision (as inconsistent in his views on Pietro as ever), declares that the difference between Pietro and Wanda is that Wanda is capable of love and Pietro is not. Earlier when discussing Pietro, Vision had fully admitted that the issue at hand was in fact that Pietro did love Crystal.

Crystal is seen next in Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 21, where she discusses her parenting with Luna's nanny. And let's just say that Crystal sure is willing to allow for herself what she declared neglectful by Pietro.

Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 21

Shortly after this uh....touching? interaction between mother and daughter, Crystal is summoned back to Attilan by her sister Medusa and the rest of the Inhuman royal family because Pietro has decided to forgive her and is willing to take her back following the breaking of his mind control by Maximus. In delivering this message, Medusa says that Pietro claims that he was mind controlled by Maximus but she was literally physically present and awake when Maximus admitted to doing exactly that in X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2, so like... as per usual, the Inhumans are being as least generous to Pietro as possible.

Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 21

It's worth noting here that Pietro is not at all present for summoning Crystal back to the moon. It is entirely the Inhuman royal family that is responsible for forcing her back to Attilan, but where is he you might ask? Why he's on Attilan, defending the Terrigan mists from invaders despite having lost his superspeed because he still wants to be a force for good in his adopted home and for the people he is striving to find acceptance among.

Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 21

During this issue, Pietro wholly and fully forgives Crystal, wanting to make things work for his family and desperate to see his daughter again. He regains his speed, gives Crystal her space, doesn't fight her when she says she doesn't trust him. And is so happy to have his daughter back. We have a scene of him walking through Attilan while holding Luna where he tells her, "so glad you're with Daddy, princess."

Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 21

Crystal doesn't want Luna anywhere near her father, and absolutely glowers when Pietro holds Luna and tells his daughter that he loves her.

Throughout this all Pietro is entirely pleasant and civil to Crystal while she is as we can see not the same towards him, she even has to be threatened into pretending to be somewhat okay with her own decision to stay on Attilan. Despite Pietro's never having even been tempted to cheat on Crystal, she feels the need to tell him, "But do not forget, if it had been you who'd had an affair, you'd have been barred from this society forever!" Yeah Crystal...because he's the one who's been having issues staying faithful to his partner.....

Now Pietro absolutely 100% does make a blunder here, but it's not about his relationship with Crystal. While Crystal is requesting alone time, he makes a phone call to get revenge on the "pretender to the Latverian throne, that child, Kristoff." But that doesn't really have anything to do with his relationship.

I am out of images for this part, so I will stop here at their reconciliation and come back with a part 3!

Reading List, Part 2:

West Coast Avengers (1985) # Annual 1 Fantastic Four (1961) #304-306 X-Factor (1986) # Annual 2 West Coast Avengers (1985) #34-36 Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 21

So Let's Talk about Pietro and Crystal...

In this meta I am going through Pietro Maximoff's relationship with Crystalia Amaquelin. This meta is not just going to focus on their interactions with one another but also on the ways that they talk about one another and on the culture/societal structure of the Inhumans and Crystal's privilege which are both major factors in this relationship. This reading list is going to have to be in parts just due to how much there is to talk about in these issues and I want to be able to share images freely! The only edits to any panels have been to arrange them in such a way that they easily fit in a tumblr post and to condense panels from the same comic into one image. The content of any panels has been unchanged, and all panels within the same image are displayed in they order they are found within the original printed comic.

Meta below the cut! This one's a doozy.

Pietro and Crystal's first meeting and then subsequent early courtship happens entirely off page between the events of The Avengers (1963) #104 and The Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132. Within The Fantastic Four (1961) #131 we get like little flashbacks in a handful of pages telling us that this has happened and giving us vignettes into how, but it doesn't really provide us with any particular details- which means that going into Fantastic Four (1961) #131, we know about as much as Johnny Storm (The Human Torch), Crystal's boyfriend.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #131

Which is to say that we know that he's come back from a mission only to discover that his girlfriend has been getting cozy with another guy. To Johnny's credit here, he's first mad at Crystal and not at Pietro who as far as we the reader can tell, had no idea that Crystal was dating the Human Torch. Pietro however.....despite clearly realizing that he's the side-piece is still defending Crystal and it's only after his defense of Crystal's decision to be a messy cheater that Johnny decides the two men have beef.

Within #131 we learn that Crystal found Pietro following some intense injuries sustained in a battle with a Sentinel (during a period of comics in which the Maximoff twins keep miraculously losing access to their mutant abilities at the drop of a hat for plot reasons?) and had nursed him back to health and during the days she spends at his bedside helping him recover, in which Crystal apparently decides he's the one while he's unconscious as the other Inhumans (particularly Medusa) around her begin to call her out on her reasons for wanting to stay by Pietro's bedside.

Crystal and Johnny have a conversation where she begs him for more time, and he reminds her (not unfairly) that she's had years of their relationship to think it over and that "if you don't love me- and only me- by now, it's time for me to read the handwriting on the wall." I'm not saying Pietro didn't see the red flags, I'm just saying he might be colorblind.

Within this issue we also get a taste of the Inhuman practice of slavery, wherein they place "Alpha Primitives" beneath them and we get to see the beginnings of an uprising (yay!), the uprising is presented as a bad thing and we're supposed to sympathize with the slavers (boo!). Johnny is portrayed here as being pro-slavery while Pietro is significantly more sensitive to the whole reality of their being enslaved. This being said, Pietro is still upset that the Alpha Primitives have taken Crystal captive and plans to save her, calling her "the girl I love." Johnny pretty rightfully points out that it's been only a few weeks of Crystal and Pietro knowing one another and Pietro....well...by this point we know he rushes into things. Pietro and Johnny run accidentally headfirst into each other during the revolt and Crystal is only concerned about Pietro's wellbeing and almost makes a threat against Johnny, even though it was Pietro who ran into the Human Torch.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #132 ends with Crystal basically going "this massive enemy that we've been fighting is powered by our own inherent guilt over being greedy enslaving racists (a guilt which has not been shown on page at ALL)." Somehow calling this out and actually triggering guilt does not at all further power their enemy but instead leaves him as an immobile statue and a reminder of how fucking racist they are- and then the Alpha Primitives are sent back down into the caves they live in without any form of reparations: "While the Alphas, free men now, return to their nighted catacombs...their own world...dark, but theirs no less for that. One day, they'll come again into the light and take a proffered brother's hand. One day...but not today." It should be noted, that the Inhumans do absolutely NOTHING to "proffer a brother's hand" in this issue, they just walk away from the Alphas and the Alphas go into their dark caves. In fact, the only Inhuman who seems to have had any kind of fondness for the Alphas is known shit-stirrer, Maximus who is kept in a perpetual open-air prison because none of them trust him. And Maximus was the one who built the machine that's supposedly powering Omega (the big enemy) but it's implied up until Crystal's speech that it is actual physical acts of violence against the Alphas that powers Omega.

Pietro ends this first big Crystal saga, brooding and moping because Johnny Storm has friends and he doesn't (he does...sorta, they're just not with him right now) , and Crystal breaks up with Johnny. And Johnny...does a complete 180 from #131 and is like "oh yeah actually I'm not at all upset that you cheated on me and I was hoping you'd break up with me and actually I have a date with my ex girlfriend tonight." Johnny does cry when he sees Crystal with Pietro, but that's really all we get for the end of their relationship. And for whatever reason the narrative seems to wrap itself around Crystal to make her look good.

Literally one issue later in The Avengers (1963) #110- this happens:

The Avengers (1963) #110

Within this issue Steve Englehart makes the BOLD move to position Pietro as some domineering patriarch when for literally every other appearance he's had with Wanda he has never ONCE positioned himself as "the head of our family." Pietro has up until this point been firm that he and Wanda are equals and just a few issues prior had issued the statement that he would never again even jokingly refer to her as "little sister."

Then in The Avengers (1963) #127, Pietro fails to invite the Avengers to his wedding with Crystal because he's fighting with Wanda and is deemed an "arrogant, posturing fool" by the Inhumans, we're told that Gorgon has "endured a great deal from Quicksilver...for many months." There's only one problem with that, in the blink and you'll miss it Pietro appearances that happen between The Avengers (1963) #110 and the current issue- (Marvel Team-Up (1972) #11 and The Incredible Hulk (1968) #175) We have seen Pietro be nothing but helpful to the Inhumans. And we have seen his help and expertise ignored when it comes to enemies he has fought previously. We have no indications whatsoever that Pietro has been anything but loving and focused on Crystal. It should also be noted that when Gorgon finds out that Pietro didn't invite the Avengers he starts nearly destroying Avengers Tower.

At the wedding, we learn that CRYSTAL HAS INVITED HER EX-BOYFRIEND, JOHNNY STORM, TO HER AND PIETRO'S WEDDING. Johnny is very much a mature adult about things and tells Crystal that if she's happy, he's happy for her. Which is great and lovely and another tick on the box for why I'm a Johnny Storm fan BUT-

The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B

Crystal is about to get married and is now suddenly confused about if she's happy or not? That little vague anxiety is never resolved in this wedding arc and in Fantastic Four (1961) #150B, Pietro and Crystal are married. But even the comic is aware that readers might not be thinking this is a happy ending and have an entire panel dedicated to trying to convince you this is happy.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B

Regardless, these early Pietro/Crystal appearances offer us even more insight into the bigotry on New Attilan. At the beginning of The Avengers (1963) #127, we're told that Black Bolt (who cannot speak) has issued a number of reforms meant to create equality between ALL Inhumans. But upon our first looks at the Alphas, the former slaves of the Inhumans, we see that they're talking of genocide. The genocide mention isn't really resolved here either.

We find out in Fantastic Four (1961) #158 that Pietro marrying Crystal was not enough for him to gain acceptance among his wife's people but that he had to be made an Inhuman by special decree. And yet- Pietro is chained and is willing to die for the Inhumans. "I am an Inhuman since the day of my marriage. From that day until forever, I will live or die- an Inhuman!" This is a sharp contrast to Pietro's issues with the concept of mutant identity that have previously been expressed in: Avengers (1963) #16, Uncanny X-Men (1963) #27, Avengers (1963) #45-49, and Uncanny X-Men (1963) #43A-45A. It's safe to assume that part of Pietro's undying and unearned loyalty to the Inhumans is based around his rushed relationship with Crystal.

I've mentioned above that I don't think Pietro didn't see the red flags, but that he might be colorblind and I'm going to go a little further into that here. Pietro falls in love with Crystal because she is kind to him and nurses him back to health and he's obviously very attracted to her. Crystal falls in love with Pietro while he is unconscious and dependent on her. Even though Pietro is aware that he's essentially Crystal's side-piece in this whole relationship kerfuffle from Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132, he's emboldened by the fact that Crystal chose him. Pietro struggles with self-worth issues (we can see these manifested as well in those mutant identity issues listed above) despite his bluster and pride, and we can see some of that desire and craving to be picked, to be worthy, to be loved, come through in The Amazing Spider-Man (1963) #71. But we've also seen so far, how Pietro's loyalty and love for these people who "picked him" by virtue of their princess "falling in love" with him, is largely one-sided as the Inhumans do NOT share his sentiments.

Case in point for Pietro's feelings and attachment to Cyrstal.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #159

Pietro interacts with the Avengers again in Avengers (1963) #137 where he's informed of Wanda's marriage to Vision and is asked to return to the Avengers and leave Crystal because of that marriage. It doesn't go as planned for the Avengers and Pietro refuses. He's putting Crystal above his old friends and family, and we're seeing that he's been interacting more with Crystal's friends and family than his own since they've gotten together.

With the advent of Inhumans (1975) Pietro starts to vocally realize that maybe... just maybe...the Inhumans don't like him very much. And Crystal tries to convince him otherwise.

Inhumans (1975) #3

A few issues pass, Pietro and Crystal are held for ransom, Pietro barely talks at all, Black Bolt screams and destroys the Great Refuge- and then randomly and all of a sudden, Crystal and Pietro are placed as regents of New Attilan? But even with this regency, it's clear that the Inhumans don't like Pietro. Crystal thinks that Pietro is "beyond reason" for questioning Black Bolt and the way that the Inhumans interpret his silence as royal edict. When Pietro makes solid points about how Black Bolt doesn't talk so he can't say anything.

Inhumans (1975) #7

And then in Inhumans (1975) #12, Crystal asks Pietro why he doesn't trust their new leader, and he speaks of the man's lust for power and Crystal goes "well even if his motives suck, he's making progress." She doesn't really take the time to even think through Pietro's point of view, instead meeting him with a "hope you're wrong." Spoiler alert- Pietro was not wrong as we discover in The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12. And even in that issue, where Crystal is telling the FF about how Pietro was right and how valiantly he fought to ensure the safety of the Inhumans against one who only wanted power- she refers to him as "not a true Inhuman," and in the same breath refers to herself as "I, his loyal wife." And in this same issue Pietro even says, echoing Crystal's earlier wording (which he wasn't even around to hear), "I may not be a true Inhuman, but these people are now my family and no one gets away with killing them." He's continuing to position the Inhumans and particularly the Inhuman royal family as his family, while they continue to keep a distance between them, with his wife referring to him as not a true Inhuman, and others making it clear that he is merely tolerated due to his marriage to Crystal.

Crystal isn't completely without merit here though, her words definitely shine light on one part of her thoughts on her husband, but she also shows extreme care for him and prioritizes finding him over the rest of her family when he's captured in The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12. This does however fall into her growing pattern of caring for Pietro more when he's dependent on her than when he's able to make his own choices.

And then, at the end of The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12, we see Crystal grab Johnny Storm's face, look like she's about to kiss him (while giving him "fuck me" eyes), and tell him that she's never going to stop loving him. Pietro sees them, and Johnny is clearly uncomfortable with Crystal's actions (as he has been this entire issue), and he and Pietro make "peace" despite neither of them being the issue here when Pietro basically tells him that he's okay because he's a friend of Crystal's and hopefully a friend of his too.

The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12

With the dawn of Korvac Saga, we get further confirmation that Pietro is deeply, deeply committed to Crystal. We start The Avengers (1963) #170 with Pietro gazing over New Attilan in a way that's recognized as sad, and then the following exchange happens:

The Avengers (1963) #170

Crystal makes a really great observation about how Pietro's marriage to her has tied him down and changed his life dramatically since his days as an Avenger, but Pietro refutes her concerns saying that what matters to him is that he has her, that he can support her in her place among her people, and is about to say that he'd never leave her when he's teleported elsewhere by agents unknown (at this point in the story at least ;)). This is literally the healthiest their relationship has been to date.

At some point after the Korvac Saga, Pietro rejoins the Avengers, sort of- he's an Avenger again for like a single issue, the whole rejoining thing happens off page, and then come Avengers (1963) #181, he's been kicked off the team and then passes out. In reality we find out that Pietro's soul has been stolen by Django Maximoff who has imprisoned his and Wanda's souls in wooden puppets of themselves. Pietro and Wanda go on a soul-searching journey with Django to discover the truth about their childhoods, learn more about their parentage and then return to Attilan.

It's on Attilan in The Avengers (1963) #188, that Pietro finds out he is going to be a father.

The Avengers (1963) #188

Following the pregnancy announcement, in Marvel Two-in-One (1974) #71, is the first time we see an Inhuman who isn't Crystal be spontaneously kind/nice to Pietro when Gorgon and Karnak invite Pietro to play a game with them. Crystal is also heavily pregnant in this comic so it's safe to assume that some time has passed and that as the pregnancy has continued the Inhumans have warmed some to Pietro's presence among them. With the importance we've seen them place on blood ties and Inhuman genetics in particular, this makes a lot of sense as Pietro is now not just married-in to the family, but is the father of the new member of the royal family.

The next time we see Pietro and Crystal is during Fantastic Four (1961) #239-240, where Pietro has become the sole defender of Attilan in a time of war when all of the Inhumans have come down with a mystery illness. During this time, Pietro continues to be extremely devoted to Crystal and deeply concerned about her health and the safety of their unborn child.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #239

During this great conflict when it seems to be resolved in Fantastic Four (1961) #240, we get another glimpse into the racism in Attilan. The Inhumans freeing those they formerly enslaved is described here as a "mistake," a "failure," and a "noble experiment." The Alphas are still inherently described as being "mindless drones" and as "less-than-human."

The Fantastic Four (1961) #240

It is into this continued dehumanization of the non-Inhuman on Attilan that Luna Maximoff is born. And Luna, is fundamentally not Inhuman nor Mutant at the time of her birth. But for now, Pietro is just concerned with his wife and daughter's health. He looks like the Grinch, but he's happy and that's what matters.

The Fantastic Four (1961) #240

Pietro's bond with Wanda has been repaired and his anger against Vision for existing has dissipated by the events of Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4, where Pietro encourages Vision to hold his daughter. We get a really great moment of seeing that Crystal and Wanda have started to form a friendship and that Pietro's two families (the one with his sister, and the one with his wife) are becoming closer.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

But this is where things start to get a little dicey. Magneto, having recently discovered that he is the father of Pietro and Wanda, has now sought them out on Attilan (now moved to the moon) and is determined to try to once again get his children to join his Brotherhood of Evil Mutants (he's not picking up on the message they keep putting down smh). And throughout this fight, Wanda, Pietro, and Erik all make it clear that Erik has severely mistreated his children and that still, knowing he is their father, he is willing to harm and even kill them. Crystal is there- she is witness to this.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

And what does Crystal do? But let Magneto hold the baby, before Magneto has even revealed himself to be Pietro's father.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #4

Within the pages of Vision and the Scarlet Witch we don't really get to see Pietro's whole reaction to this incredibly traumatizing series of events, but never fear, Wanda recounts more of the story in Avengers (1963) #234 (TW- G slur).

Avengers (1963) #234

Again, all of this is happening in front of Crystal. There is absolutely no way she gets out of this conversation without the knowledge that Pietro and Wanda have been horribly abused by their father and that Pietro is on some level afraid of turning into Magneto and is aware of the temper he shares with the older man and has been actively combating it. It would be reasonable to think that Pietro might need time to process this information.

When we next see Pietro and Crystal it is during a battle on Attilan against the Avengers in Avengers (1963) # Annual 12, inspired by Maximus. Maximus is spared, as always, because Black Bolt loves him too much to actually do anything about the consistent and ever present threat the man poses to the safety and security of their people. (This is a surprise tool that will come back to bite them in the ass). And once again, this issue presents the Alphas as Maximus' allies, continuing to have the formerly enslaved be shown as enemies of the "good" Inhumans.

Pietro and Crystal's relationship goes from bad to worse in The Thing (1983) #3. In this comic, Pietro wishes to partake of his right as an Inhuman father and in the fashion of the Inhumans, his adopted people, expose Luna to the Terrigan mists to spark forth her Inhuman abilities- Crystal does not agree. Crystal brings in Ben Grimm (The Thing) to stop Pietro from following her people's customs in regard to their child, and sends her dog, Lockjaw (who is technically an Inhuman himself but that's never really explored?) to teleport the baby away from Pietro. Crystal's reasoning for not wanting to expose Luna to the mists? She's afraid her daughter will become ugly.

No seriously, that's the reason. Pietro is worried about his daughter's life as one who is both mutant and Inhuman, what her humanity will bring her among her two super-powered peoples. Crystal is worried about her looks. Pietro acquiesces to his wife's wishes following the testimony of their dog/friend(?) and Ben Grimm and is thoroughly painted in the wrong for wanting to raise his daughter as an Inhuman among Inhumans. At least the rest of the royal family was on his side this time?

Anyway, let's remember that Lockjaw is a person and has been a person this whole time and then think back on how Crystal has treated him. Based on Ben and Pietro's reactions to Lockjaw speaking it's also pretty clear that nobody who isn't an Inhuman was aware that Lockjaw was a person and not a dog......anyway....

The Thing (1983) #3

We get a completely different idea of Pietro's feelings towards the Inhumans in Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B than what we've seen previously. In this issue, Pietro is openly critical of the bread and circus approach the Inhumans take with their ruling, and in a shocking turn of events from the last 20+ issues, explicitly says "I'm no Inhuman, and I give no obeisance to Black Bolt...or to your foolish traditions." Pietro is accused of stealing a royal scepter because he made a comment about not being a monarchist (based) and is lured into a trap by someone he thought was his friend who he has had to twice this issue turn down a proposition for sex from.

Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B* *editorial says this issue takes place before Attilan is moved to the moon, however, Luna's birth occurred after the fateful move and she was named for the move which puts the actual chronology of this issue in question, but I'm keeping it here for an easy publication order chronology

We get a clear image, even clearer than it's been in the past that the Inhumans hate Pietro for...not being an Inhuman.

Do we all remember when Crystal literally brought in people who aren't even related to her child to stop Pietro from exposing Luna to the Terrigan mists because she might turn ugly? We all remember this? Okay great- because she's now adopted Pietro's anxieties in Avengers (1963) #243.

The Avengers (1963) #243

And though Crystal apparently doesn't trust Pietro's parenting choices she's come around to his same anxieties about Luna's human-ness. Pietro tries to support her and then she goes "well none of us have experience with a human baby, what if we just.... didn't deal with that and hired a nanny." And Pietro goes along with it, trying to track down Bova, his minotaur-esque nursemaid from his own childhood who he's only just learned about and has met but once.

We see Crystal and Pietro together again during the wedding of Black Bolt and Medusa, in Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18. Where we see Pietro brooding over the wedding festivities. Here we learn that Pietro was given no role in his sister-in-law's wedding and that he is still continuously feeling like an outsider, despite all of the efforts we've seen him take in past appearances to be as much of an Inhuman as possible he is still kept at arms length even by these he considers family. Even Reed Richards (Mr. Fantastic) wonders at the differences between Pietro and Crystal's wedding and the wedding of Black Bolt and Medusa- and Reed wonders if the difference can't be attributed to the fact that Crystal chose to marry someone who was not an Inhuman. And it's a fair question. Pietro even asks Crystal if it's okay that he and their daughter stand beside her during the wedding.

The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18

In Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5, we see that Pietro has decided to introduce human traditions to the Inhumans with trick or treat, and that he plans to take Luna on her rounds, Crystal along with them of course.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5

Then in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #6 (that fateful Thanksgiving with the surprise Magneto appearance), we begin to see some strife between husband and wife. According to Crystal, she is "used to being alone." (She is literally a princess in a close-knit family who didn't even stop dating Johnny Storm to start dating her now-husband). And she adds that.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #6

The militia, being something Pietro had discussed with Wanda briefly in #5, is a new responsibility of his entrusted to him by the Inhumans. He is now responsible for training a militia intended for the protection of Attilan. It's the first real job he's had since getting with Crystal and the moment he has responsibilities and focuses outside of her, she's not happy. Also yes, Luna does look like a Renaissance baby in this panel.

A month later, in Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #7, we discover that Crystal, who started her relationship with Pietro by cheating on her then-boyfriend, is now cheating on her current husband.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #7

Now, I've shown you all the lead-up there is to her cheating. I've covered all of the Pietro and Crystal interactions, and touched base with every major Crystal appearance leading up to this. There isn't any rhyme or reason to this aside from, Pietro has a job and he's doing it. And beyond this, as we move into #8, we learn that Crystal is planning on spending more time on Earth, and from Pietro's perspective it's to spend time with Wanda, but really it's to cheat on him. Once again, the militia (Pietro's job) is very much cited as the reason for this.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #8

While Pietro runs off with Wanda, Vision, and Luke Cage to make sure that Wanda is safe for the duration of her pregnancy (it's a demon thing, Scarlet Witch stuff y'know?), we discover that Crystal is taking this opportunity to cheat on her husband again.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #8

Crystal's affair goes on for MONTHS, and even her boyfriend is more worried about what all this is doing to Pietro than she is. She overdoses on anti-pollution potion in order to continue to see her boyfriend, and Pietro spends the vast majority of his time at her bedside frantically trying to get someone to wake her up in deep concern for her wellbeing.

In #10, Crystal calls out her boyfriend's name in her sleep, confessing to the affair, and Pietro tries to kill him. He's stopped by Vision and the Inhumans, and then tries to rally his militia against Norm the real estate agent, the man who has stolen his wife's affections. Wanda confronts Norm and he gives her a sad speech about how Pietro is "neglectful" of his wife's needs and ends it with "I'm not making excuses for deceiving you, but you like your brother better than a lot of people do." Essentially saying "It's okay that she cheated on Pietro, because he's Pietro." Wanda then talks to Crystal's spirit and Crystal says "I cheated on Pietro! I'd do it again!"

Pietro and Vision talk and Pietro comments on how Crystal doesn't allow him to pursue any of his own interests, which tracks with what we've seen that now that Pietro is spending time with the militia she's determined him neglectful and is using it as justification to cheat on him. Throughout all of this too, the Inhumans confirm to Pietro that they think lesser of him because he isn't one of them.

Pietro decides that he can't take Crystal back after this betrayal of his trust (fair and reasonable) to which Crystal calls him a "self-righteous pig" and even Wanda insists that he must take her back because he loves her. And in issue #11, Vision claims that Pietro has "run out on his wife" and Wanda thinks poorly of him for establishing a boundary of not wanting to be around a woman who cheated on him. Meanwhile, Pietro is having a mental breakdown about the fact that nobody actually loves him and that the loyalty he shows to others is not reciprocated.

Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #11

And rounding us out in #12, Crystal tells Norm that she wants to keep seeing him and celebrates the fact that if Pietro stays away for a bit longer she'll be granted a divorce.

Here ends part 1 of the meta (stopping close to image limit at a good rest point) and I'll reblog this post with even more commentary at a later date!

Reading List so far:

The Fantastic Four (1961) #131-132 The Avengers (1963) #110 The Incredible Hulk (1968) #175 The Avengers (1963) #127 The Fantastic Four (1961) #150A-B <- Wedding Issue The Fantastic Four (1961) #158-159 The Avengers (1963) #137 Inhumans (1975) #3, 7, 12 The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 12 Avengers (1963) #170, 188 The Fantastic Four (1961) #239-240 Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1982) #2, 4 The Avengers (1963) #234, Annual 12 The Thing (1983) #3 Marvel Fanfare (1982) #14B Avengers (1963) #243 The Fantastic Four (1961) # Annual 18 Vision and the Scarlet Witch (1985) #5-12

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

I’ve never done my own fic rec post before but I’m feeling inspired seeing more and more people do this. Also, I’m so slow and usually weeks behind what everyone else is reading but I’ve read some new stuff recently so let’s go!

We Still Bloom Complete, 18k, Rated T by @artsyunderstudy

I am a sucker for Hanahaki fics (the angst! The pain! The perceived unrequited love! The ticking clock!) and this one does not disappoint. Set within those awful doubting weeks of WS/AWTWB and sprinkled with plenty of past memories and present action, this author really lets you sit with that sorrow and uncertainty. Plus FANTASTIC art! What more could you want?

The Beautiful Game WIP, currently 8k, Rated T by @fatalfangirl

This fic is composed of anecdotes of Simon and Baz playing football over the years but football is merely a lens to view the progression of their relationship. It’s canon compliant and fits so seamlessly with the events surrounding it. The WS chapter, for example, packs a punch in a few hundred words. It will have you sobbing, squealing, sighing and laughing as the chapters take you through the best (and worst) of their relationship. But through it all they have football. Need I say more?

This Is Your Place, Complete, 19k, Rated M by @cutestkilla This fic was written for @carryonprompts fest (along with the two above!) and answered the question: how would things have differed if Baz came back to his room after the Open sesame incident to find Simon, tits out, bloody and without his cross? This author took the prompt in a a sexy but also tender and angsty direction. A lovely get together written by a very talented writer.

Speaking of, I’m gonna jump back to @cutestkilla’s first fic because she just posted this great meta about what informed her version of the Humdrum from canon, which got me thinking about how What’s Left is still one of my favorite fics of all time so if you haven’t read this fic about what if Simon really died in the White Chapel and the Humdrum (Sid, my beloved) was left, how might he and Baz take on the Mage? It’s so creative, funny, sweet and heartfelt and (despite the way the premise sounds) will leave you fulfilled in a way you never knew you needed to be.

Ready or Not WIP, currently 5k, Rated E by @bookish-bogwitch

Another Carry On Prompts Fest fic that I am OBSESSED with. It’s a Watford era magickal mishap (my fave, it should be a proper tag!) in which Simon accidentally spells Baz to spontaneously orgasm without warning several times a day. This story is both hilarious and so sexy and the end of chapter 1 leaves us with a delightful twist. I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Stress Management WIP currently 22k, rated M by @whogaveyoupermission

Normal AU, later in life get together in which social worker!Simon tried to manage his stress by attending a barre class taught by none other than his former classmate Baz. This fic is so sweet and sexy you will be screeching for them to get together by the end of the first chapter. And yet this author is building their mutual pining so, so well. Bonus content includes Baz in all sorts of sexy barre instructor outfits that you won’t want to miss!

Phew! If your like me, and have a to be read list a mile long and you don’t know what to start with, do yourself a favor and check out any of these gems that sound interesting. I promise, they will not disappoint! Thank you for the tags today @martsonmars @aroace-genderfluid-sheep @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @larkral @bookish-bogwitch @nightimedreamersworld @whogaveyoupermission @johnwgrey @confused-bi-queer @artsyunderstudy @palimpsessed @moodandmist @creepyspice @ivelovedhimthroughworse y’all are working on some fantastic stuff!

Tagging a few more people in case you want to spread the word on these awesome fics or share some words (or recs!) of your own @whatevertheweather @captain-aralias @takitalks @toonysart @messofthejess @ionlydrinkhotwater @aristocratic-otter @prettylightsbigcity @castawaypitch @yeonjunenby @erzbethluna @hushed-chorus @stardustasincocaine @frjsti @toonysart @forabeatofadrum @raenestee @yellobb @bazzybelle @gekkoinapeartree @ic3-que3n @tea-brigade

Also, if you’ve read this far and want to check out chapter 4 of Depth of Reason, it’s out now, with more lovely art by @toonysart

[erynalasse]

What are your thoughts on Finwe? We've examined his children and his children's children to death, and along the way we've talked about this guy, but I'd be curious to see what you'd say about him in a long meta format. Should we condemn the Noldor Patriarch, and if so, on what grounds?

To me, a lot of Finwë’s shortcomings are characterized by what he didn’t do, rather than what he did. It’s an interesting theme of the Silmarillion: some of the most morally grey conundrums are found in the gaps by asking where people were, and why they didn’t do something. But that’s a ramble for another day!

Contrary to what my opener might have sounded like, I have a lot of sympathy for Finwë. Losing a beloved spouse is terrible—more so when you have children. But Finwë, of course, never expected to lose Míriel because this is Aman, and that kind of thing doesn’t happen here. Indeed, the Silmarillion is very explicit on this point: “[A]lone in all the Blessed Realm he was deprived of joy.” That’s a powerful claim to make, but let’s examine it a bit more.

I do think this is a poetic overstatement in many ways. For one, Finwë has a newborn son, and if he can’t find any joy in Fëanor at all, we’re focusing on the wrong problems here. Second, I also have a hard time buying that nobody in Valinor has experienced losing a spouse. Finwë was a leader at Cuiviénen and part of the generation of the Great Journey; he’s seen death before Aman, and so did the people who came with him. The implication of that quote above seems to be that all of these dead have returned from the Halls of Mandos, but it’s not like nobody in Valinor knows this particular pain. Besides, the past clings; there are going to be people “deprived of joy” because of a traumatic losses, even when loved ones come back. Correcting the loss doesn’t mean everything is okay again.

And yet, Finwë’s situation is different, and those differences are worth commenting on too. Not only is Míriel the first and only death in Valinor, her death is permanent. She has no desire to return to life, and that throws a wrench in the whole expected cycle. I can’t overstate how little help Finwë had to deal with this revelation. Nobody knows what this is like. Nobody has wisdom to give him. Nobody can sympathize with him, and in that way, Finwë is truly the only one in Valinor deprived of joy in this particular way. And I think this is how Indis enters the picture. It’s a fairly straightforward chain of logic: “I lost my wife, and now I am unhappy. If I remarry, this will restore my happiness.” I don’t mean to imply that Finwë just wanted a replacement — it’s explicit canon he never moves on from Míriel’s loss. It just feels like the kind of reasoning that would occur to a man steeped in a social context that goes ????? when confronted with this issue. I honestly have a hard time faulting that. Finwë seemed pretty fair about it all. He got the consent to remarry from everyone involved — even Míriel, and even the Valar, though I don’t think it was their business.

Except Fëanor. Yeah. How do we assess the fairness of a parent’s remarriage on their child? There are no easy answers, either in canon or in our own world. But I do think I there are two things in Finwë’s favor:

Finwë waits until Fëanor is fully grown to remarry. He’s married and living apart by then. (Per the published Silm, at least. @arofili has a fantastic post about the different versions someplace here!) Even in a very bad-faith reading, you can’t really argue that Finwë is setting out to give his first son a replacement mother in Indis.

In not one, but two different places, the Silmarillion makes a point that Finwë lavishes Fëanor with love, even exceeding that given to his wife and other children. At the very least, Fëanor cannot claim he was neglected and overlooked.

But about that last point, I think we do need to tack on some disclaimers. As I can attest, having parents who love you does not mean that they are good parents, nor does it mean that you have a healthy relationship with them. It certainly doesn’t mean that Finwë handled Fëanor’s anger and insecurities effectively, insofar as that was possible. 

In fact, I think Finwë’s relationship with Fëanor is most effectively read as a man desperately overcompensating for his son’s flaws by favoring him in every way. Finwë responds to extreme loss with extreme indulgence. For context, we have to see the same basic issue about step-family issues as we do about being a losing a spouse forever: Nobody in Valinor knows what to do about this. There are no good rulebooks for it. There are no examples to look at. And like with Míriel, I think Finwë’s actions make the most sense when you realize that this is where he’s coming from.

Even without the benefit of an established path, I still think that Finwë handles this family badly. Because you don’t have to be a genius to anticipate that having half-siblings will cause complicated feelings, and it’s unfair of Finwë to bring children into that when he wasn’t committed to treating them all fairly. And his unfairness goes way, way beyond just excessive attention to Fëanor in three really critical places: 

First, there’s the famous sword-to-the-throat incident. Finwë hears about the growing discord between the branches of his family and calls his sons together. Fingolfin gets there first, and he demands to know what Finwë is going to do to rein in Fëanor. Fëanor then arrives, accuses his brother of weaseling into first place in both counsel and succession, then draws his sword on Fingolfin and tells him to leave. Fingolfin bows to Finwë, and leaves “without word or glance to Fëanor”—and I can’t help reading some sarcastic implication there to the tune of see? see what your eldest son does? And Finwë! Finwë says nothing! Not to Fingolfin in reassurance, not to Fëanor in in reprimand, nothing. Not then, and not after. 

The Valar exile Fëanor for this incident, and Finwë follows his son into exile, forsaking the kingship to do it. This is really the lowest point of Finwë’s parenting for me. You cannot read this as anything other than a choice between his eldest son and his other children, especially on the heels of Fëanor threatening threatening Fingolfin with a sword. Fëanor pulls that, and Finwë once again responds with favoritism instead of criticism. What’s most interesting to me here is that Finwë does this out of “the love that he bore to Fëanor,” which is the exact same word that got thrown around other times that Finwë’s favoritism is pointed out. The continuity is critical. 

Finwë’s own death. Buddy. Buddy boy. What did you think you were doing here, trying to stand against Morgoth? You are not an idiot! You were at Cuviénen and you knew the Black Rider! You know it took all fourteen of the Valar to overcome him in the first war, and you think you can – frighten him? fight him off? restrain him? This is so very stupid, and yet Finwë doesn’t flee like everyone else. It’s clearly implied he was guarding the Silmarils that were left in Formenos under his care, because there was nothing and nobody else left worth protecting. And in so doing, Finwë placed his son’s dearest creations over his crown and his own life. This is, simply put, nothing less than a dereliction of duty to his people.

And so, in the end, I think Finwë’s faults were not so much that he remarried or had more children, but that he handled the set of problems that resulted very badly. The problem with him is that his faults are tangled up in grief and loss, as well as what feels like a genuine confusion about what he’s supposed to do about all this. He’s a fascinating character who gets more fascinating the more you dissect him, and it was a delight doing it here!

[wordrage]

Great meta. Only part I would challenge is how wizards view sexuality. I'm probably going against JKR's intent here, and, for transparency, my agenda is to justify wizards not being homophobic lol, but I have some arguments here.

The first is education. The wizarding population is a bit unique that for the past 1000 years almost everyone within has received what seems to be high quality education via Hogwarts. Not that educated people can't be bigots, but they've at least been taught some higher level critical thinking, history, etc. that gets people exposed to new or different ideas and thoughts.

I'm thinking they probably cut most formal ties to the Church post-witch hunts/statute passing. A large part of Western European's intolerance of homosexual relationships or different gender expressions are justified or rooted in Christianity.

Wizards might be religious? Personally, my interpretation is that they are pretty secular. Witchcraft is still a sin or evil to Muggles at the time the books take place. Why would wizards post statute of secrecy continue with adhering to the anti-buggery laws and values of the Muggles they so desperately claim to be above?

I'm not saying they changed attitudes overnight, but I would question why this particular prejudice would have sustained over the centuries.

Witches have what appears to be equal rights when compared to wizards. They hold office, work, and there's no example I can remember where witches are barred from any space in wizarding society. There's examples of witches being treated as equals that predate the statute. I bring this up because sex and gender discrimination is present and generally enforced more consistently than homosexuality in Western Europe. Wizards and witches are unconventionally feminist, compared to their Muggle peers.

We didn't get any examples either way in the text that explicitly state homosexual relationships aren't tolerated. True, we don't see onscreen queer people or relationships, but Harry didn't meet every couple in the wizarding population. I think the few characters allegedly queer-coded can go either way. Alphard, for example, maybe just never met someone they wanted to marry. Or lost a loved one. Or was never interested in marriage. Is Dumbledore's alleged relationship with Grindelwald scandalous because it's homosexual, or is it because of who Grindelwald became? I think Rita calls into question Dumbledore's interest in Harry as well, which yes can be taken as an implication gay men are viewed as sexually deviant and/or predators to wizards, but it's also Rita. She doesn't like Dumbledore or Harry, and she wants clicks people to buy her book.

Finally, there's magic. Why, in a world of magic where people can change their appearance and even into animals, be completely intolerant of people changing their sex or sexuality? Why would they be intolerant of the queer and different when they themselves are queer and different? This consensus among the fandom, that being gay is not acceptable, I've never understood.

Considering the main argument I see against homosexuality being accepted in the wizarding UK is children. For example, what would the Malfoys do if Draco married someone who can't have an heir? (I guess we're ignoring the fact that the canon, married to a witch, version was fine with not having children due to the risk to his wife's health.) I mean... This is a world with magic.

Look, I'm not someone who usually fucks with mpreg, but for HP, I am struggling to find a reason it wouldn't be possible. Mpreg isn't even the most fantastical thing we've seen in the books. Voldemort is a lich lord. Time-travel is possible. A giant squid lives in a freshwater lake. 😐

Even if we didn't want to canonize mpreg, there's plenty of stories in folklore, the same folklore JKR picked and chooses other inspiration for the HP setting, where a witch gives a childless couple children. Via some magical conception method. If the main argument wizards have against queer relationships is "but what about the children??" are we really going to die on the hill that wizards can split their souls up but conceiving a potentially outside a woman's womb is impossible??

Non-humans like goblins, vampires, giants, hags, etc exist in this world and can have children with wizards/witches. But queer people? That's impossible?

Respectfully, people can fanon what they want. However, if the reason Harry would face discrimination within the wizarding world is due to him pursuing relationships with men, idk it just feels unfounded to me. It feels like we're transposing a social issue from our modern society onto a fictional society that cut contact with us 330 years ago.

Hi! Curious as to your headcanons on how Harry would realize he’s gay/come out? I like to imagine him not realizing it until he’s blundered his way into a relationship with a man, but surely he would be to clever for that 😆

Lol, I mean, yeah, Harry is clever, but not when it comes to relationships as he so adequately demonstrates throughout the books. That being said, I think it has more to do with his hectic situation rather than his intelligence. He just has other priorities — like, not dying. I saw someone suggest that by book 7, Harry is somewhat aware of his orientation with his: "not my type, but he'll do" comment to a polyjuiced Ron asking how he looks.

Like, I think Harry was aware he finds men attractive since 4th year, but he didn't really know what it means because he had other priorities. Like, he'd think he just finds guys attractive but it's normal, he has eyes, after all. But in general, I think the moment Harry is not in immediate life-threatening danger, he would figure it out. Just give him a moment to relax. It might take another failed relationship like Cho, but I really believe that he would get there on his own.

It probably wasn't anything big or grand either, just, kinda like a gradual understanding of: "huh, I guess I don't like girls" that eventually leads to "huh, I always thought guys are hot". (If we ignore the epilogue we can say he had this moment of epiphany while camping in the woods, I mean, there was a lot of silent time for introspection there, or maybe through a talk with Hermione/Ron)

If we go with canon-divergence for fic purposes when he's younger and is still wrapped up in, like, 3 plots to kill him a year, he might just blunder into a relationship with a guy and only realize it's a relationship later. But, Harry is smart enough to know that if he's holding hands and cuddling with someone that isn't a usual friendship for him. Especially if this is after his disaster date with Cho where he dreaded her wanting to hold his hand or kiss him again. Harry would notice if he was interested in that compared to with Cho, that he actually wants to spend time with this guy and likes looking at him and being close to him, but it might take him a while still. It's also very possible [male Harry ship of your choice] would be the one to basically tell Harry what they have is a relationship, but it really depends on the specific canon divergence. In general, it's less likely Harry would start this relationship as he is in a quest to be normal (which is part of why he decided he has a crush on Cho), she's a safe option — pretty, good at Quidditch, and appearing unattainable when he chose her. Point is, I don't see the Hogwarts-aged Harry pursuing a relationship with a guy without certain changes to get him there (the guy of your choice might though).

Alternative to this situation, it could be Ron or Hermione who bring it up to Harry, with Ron being the more likely of the two to bring it up. I think Ron has known since 5th year that Harry is gay, Hermione doesn't seem to really know, but by 7th year she probably figured it out (I mean, even in the muggle world this is the UK in 90s, it's not like being gay was overly accepted). So, they could also bring it up to him.

As for coming out, I feel like he would accidentally joke about it a bunch, like in that book 7 comment and most people would think it's just a joke, but I think Ron and Hermione would clue in early he actually means it. Ron at least would have already known and both I believe would be supportive of Harry. I think a bunch of others would be told as well, I think most Weasley kids won't have a problem with it at all (Ginny is likely to be disappointed, but I don't think she'd be mean about it to Harry). I think Molly and Arthur might struggle a little, due to ignorance rather than malice, but they would definitely be kind and try to be supportive. Arthur would probably mention some Weasley cousin who's gay as a way to connect to Harry because I'm sure there is one. Sirius would support everything Harry does and chooses (and he himself is likely, not straight) so, yeah.

Beyond that, coming out more publicly would heavily depend on the Wizarding World's approach to homosexuality. I personally believe they don't treat it great and it's kind of an unspoken thing — considering we don't see any gay relationships in the books, their focus on legacy and producing children, and the characters that are mentioned to be unmarried seem to live like confirmed bachelors (Dumbledore, Aunt Muriel, Alphard and Cassiopeia Black, etc.). Also, considering Harry's dislike of the Prophet and the attention he receives, I don't see him choosing to ever make it public knowledge since it's none of their business.

I imagine Witch Weekly keeps placing Harry in number 1 their Most Eligible Bachelors list years after he has already moved to live with a "close male friend" of his (choose who to your preference). And like, everyone knows, but no one would really acknowledge it. Whenever Harry is asked about "when he's gonna settle down" by some interviewer or random ministry personnel or some foreign ambassador he needs to be held back from throwing hands when younger. Later in life he probably gets used to it, besides, the older he gets, eventually the questions would stop, I imagine. It's also possible eventually attitudes in the Wizarding World would change, but that's something that takes time and depends on a lot of other factors.

[matan4il]

What a great catch that Buck really was scared of what kind of a state he found Eddie in. He's been taking it for granted that Eddie is the more adult one of the two this entire time. Eddie is a solid fixture in Buck's life, his closest person who seems to have it all together.

I am now realizing when Eddie has been at his lowest over all these seasons, they have never let it be Buck who sees him and puts him back together. Buck has literally never seen Eddie crumble, only heard about it after the fact. The show has gone out of its way to delegate the lowpoints to Bobby and even Lena, a temporary character.

According to Buck himself, he dreams of the life Eddie has, wants his home and a child like Chris, looks up to Eddie's skills and values Eddie's life above his own. Eddie even handled a brush with death better than Buck did his own injury. The man can do no wrong in his eyes. It has probably not even occurred to Buck that Eddie could break inside, only be broken by an outside force like a bullet.

Hi lovely! Thank you so much for the kind words!

This is in response to something I mentioned in the the 513 clothes meta. I’m really glad it resonated with you! I do think Buck got to see one moment when Eddie lost control of his professional demeanor due to how emotionally upset he was, and that was in the grocery store in 305. More than that, it was Buck’s absence that made Eddie lose his cool! I still think about what that must have meant to Buck, who was so convinced that everyone can easily and happily move on from him, to see Eddie act so out of character because he couldn’t take Buck not being there. But you’re absolutely right that everything to do with Eddie’s lowest point, the street fighting, was done in front and resolved in the presence of others. So yes, this was absolutely the first time Buck saw Eddie completely fall apart. And maybe at some point they can talk about how even this was partly (much smaller part, but still) due to Eddie being without Buck. Maybe one day they can actually confront what this means... Or what it means when Eddie only allows himself to admit to his real fear in Buck’s presence, and can only begin to heal once they’re back to being a team, working together to take care of both Chris and Eddie. You know, like all platonic besties... ;p

Thank you again, and I hope you have a fantastic day! xoxox

(I got an influx of asks, I WILL answer all of them, but it might take a sec. If anyone wants to check whether I've already answered theirs or to read my replies, here's my ask tag. Thank you! xoxox)

[cacodaemonia]

oohh, I dont think I’ve ever seen your opinion on anakin, if it’s not too much to ask, would you mind elaborating? Or maybe point me in the direction of the posts you’ve already made? I’m not anakins biggest fan either but it’s hard to find anyone who shares the same opinion!

Hi! Sure, I don’t mind, though it’s just my opinion, and heavily colored by my own experience with people who are toxic in the sense that they care more about their feelings for you than for you as a person. Which they would never admit to themselves, so they don’t see those feelings as harmful.

I found a post where I talked more about that here.

@gffa, who is not at all an Anakin-hater, also has loads of really fantastic meta about him and Star Wars in general. Basically their whole blog is a treasure trove and I always find myself nodding along like, “Yes, yes! this exactly!”

I see how Anakin can be a sympathetic character to a lot of people, because he’s very complex, and he’s heroic, and he cares deeply about certain things. And I don’t hate him. He was still very young and obviously incredibly confused about a lot of things by the end of the Clone Wars. I just can never forgive him for what he did, no matter what lies Palpatine whispered to him over the years. Anakin made conscious choices, in the end, to do things he knew were wrong.

Just off the top of my head:

1. He murdered an entire village of people for what some of them did to his mother. 2. He lied to Obi-Wan (and others) many times about his relationship with Padme. Obi-Wan, who helped raise him, who was almost always patient with him, praised him when he did well, and trusted him implicitly. 3. Over and over, he used his powers as a Jedi to coerce people into doing what he thought was the right thing. Ah, the smell of Fascism in the morning. 4. He willingly chose to follow a Sith Lord, just to maybe save Padme from maybe dying like in his dreams. 5. He killed Mace and a bunch of children. 6. He ordered the men he’d been fighting alongside for three years to murder the people they had sworn to protect and who were, aside from other clones, arguably their only friends in the whole Galaxy. Whether he knew about the chips or not, using his authority over the clones to force them to commit acts they would never consent to is just repugnant. 7. He betrayed literally everyone who cared about him and still killed Padme in the end.

So. Yeah. I have many bones to pick with him. He knew that the things he did were wrong, but he did them anyway. It makes me really sad. :(

I’ll add the last line from the post I linked to above, because that’s what always goes through my head when I think about Anakin:

That’s the huge tragedy to me. That these people - Obi-Wan, Padme, Ahsoka, Rex, Fives - they loved Anakin. They trusted him with their lives. And he never even considered what his betrayal would do to them, as long as he could keep what he felt was his.

[crystalelemental]

Competitive Round 3:

I’m trying a new team, and have officially decided that Garganacl is my favorite addition to competitive this gen.  Salt Cure is goddamn hilarious, absolutely shredding things like Gholdengo and Corviknight.  Iron Defense/Body Press is hysterical as well, being just absurdly dominant against most threats.  Even resists wind up taking a ton.  Recover may have been nerfed, but it’s honestly not been a problem.  It’s just invincible.  Careful, max HP/Sp Def EVs, Iron Defense/Body Slam, with a backup trap move that demolishes Steel-types, has been divine.  Ghost-type Tera Type has also been fantastic in all situations but one.  The Treasures of Ruin.  Any time the sword or beads come out, and Garganacl has used its Tera Type, it’s a problem.  And those two are pretty common.

Arboliva is also great.  It’s been a lot of fun, and I do love my Leech Seed grass types.  To the shock of no one, I feel like Grass-types have not been particularly common, meaning Seed Stocks are high.  The combination of Terrain and Leftovers means recovering 1/8th your HP every turn, Seed gives a tremendous amount more, Giga Drain hits like a truck under Terrain, and Strength Sap is fantastic to counter big physical threats that aren’t super-effective.  Arboliva’s really been impressive, but I do feel like there are enough obvious answers that it likely won’t maintain OU.

Glimmora’s been fun, but it really does feel more like a hazard bot than anything.  When the opponent has their own offensive Poison-type, it feels like Glimmora loses a lot of its shine.  But.  Mortal Spin is awesome.  It’s my #1 response to something like Cyclizar switching in.  Just slap their ass with the sudden poison, Spikes or no, and watch their plans start to drop.

Espathra is...a UU Pokemon through and through.  Maybe even RU depending on where the power level settles.  Opportunistic is hilarious at times, and Calm Mind/Speed Boost effectively being Quiver Dance is great.  But Espathra feels really easy to play around, and really, sadly easy to crit.  I swear, every time I get it up and running, something crits it.  But the bigger issue?  Skeledirge.  Skeledirge with Unaware does not give a singular shit about Espathra.  As long as Skeledirge is in a tier, Espathra won’t be.

By comparison, Cyclizar is...pretty bad.  I expected more out of it, truth be told.  The whole Shed Tail thing seemed ridiculous playing against it at first, but it’s...really not that impressive.  Everyone knows what Cyclizar does, so they just go offensive and break the sub whenever you pass.  It’s a 50% HP loss on a Pokemon for a free switch-in to another.  Judicious use can pass to a booster, like I’ve seen some opponents pull off with Dragonite or Dragapult with Dragon Dance when coming in on Garganacl who often can’t break the sub, but usually Garganacl can tank it anyway.  Cyclizar just feels really easy to play around, with little else in its corner.  I kinda expect it to drop through the tiers until what it can pass to is too bulky and it gets banned back up.  It’ll always have some use, but in a really obvious way that prevents it from standing out.  I don’t like it.

Lastly, I gave a try to Iron Hands, largely with the intention of bringing Cyclizar’s sub-passing to let it Belly Drum.  Doesn’t work.  The sub never lasts past switching in, so Belly Drum is always super risky, and with the low speed you can’t really risk anything.  So you’re stuck with weaker BP moves hoping to make something work.  Iron Hands will drop, no doubt.

In terms of meta trends, I’m seeing a lot of dragons again.  Roaring Moon is absurdly common.  Dragonite and Dragapult are similarly common.  Bizarrely, Garchomp has not been.  I have no idea why.  Either something happened to knock down Garchomp’s viability, or all the good players well above my level run it but no one lower down.  I’m just surprised.  Usually when Lando-T isn’t around, Garchomp takes its place as the common wall.

Maushold hasn’t been particularly common, nor as threatening.  Annihilape isn’t common, but every time it shows up, I have basically no counters.  Bulk Up with Rest may as well be impossible for me to get around.  Rage Fist building to 300BP is insane.  I can’t tell what counts as having taken a hit either.  The treasures of ruin are a bit of a mixed bag, as is Roaring Moon.  I don’t feel like they’re impossible, but they are annoying.  Honestly, Breloom has kinda been public enemy #1.  It blasts Garganacl apart.

[spaceorphan18]

Hi, I'm of new to Glee and I'm not american so I'm not familiar with how Glee club works. You seem to know a lot so my questions is, could you explain me why there is an episode where Kurt tells Blaine he never got any solo since Blaine transferred to McKinley? I thought in a Glee club everyone would perform a song for their weely assignment so I couldn't understand that part. And usually in the final number of the episodes it's Rachel and Finn who get solos... I'm a little confused :D Ty!

Lol, this ask is fantastic, thank you!

Okay, so first of all -- there's the way glee clubs work in actual American reality. And then there's Glee -- which... doesn't make much sense most of the time.

In American schools, glee is usually an after school choir that practices songs as a unit to either perform at a concert, or for a festival in which they're critiqued based on their performance individually. I can't speak for the entire nation - but choirs don't compete against each other like they do on Glee, and in fact, they're pulling more from the American athletic programs than actual fine arts programs.

Also - let's say a public school has two semesters. Most of the time, you'd probably spend an entire semester working on one or two performances. And each performance might have anywhere from 4 to 8 songs (usually a two hour performance).

Glee clubs are not essentially competitive karaoke nights - which is kind of how the show treats them.

Also, fwiw, there are different kind of choirs -- there's the traditional stand there and sing choir, the show choir - which uses more choreography (though not as elaborate as they do on glee, smaller ensembles called chamber choirs, a capella groups, etc, etc, the list goes on. Glee had a tendency to kind of mash all these styles up for whatever they needed to do.

Glee, because creator Ryan Murphy has an obsession where the only conflict he knows is about competition, uses show choir competitions as tent poles in their narrative -- some place for the overarching stories to go. It most definitely does not happen like that in real life (as far as I'm aware).

Meanwhile...

God, I hate that stupid Kurt like because... it's not true, and was inserted to placate fans who felt like this actually happened.

My meta reason for Kurt saying this is that he's deflecting his own wrong doings by saying that he has it rough dating Blaine. (He knows he doesn't - but he just wants to 'win' this argument.)

The reason it's actually there is that there were Kurt fans very vocal about how Blaine getting more solos on the show some how equated to Kurt getting less (which is totally not true - Kurt wasn't getting solos to begin with, and the way the show deals with him and music is different anyway), and the writers threw this in as acknowledgement. They often threw in lines like this, breaking the fourth wall, to speak out at the audience, saying - hey, we do here you.

Hilariously, as I stated above, in actual choirs, you may have someone take lead at the beginning or for a few bars, but the point of a choir is to have everyone singing at once. Not to have one or two people sing lead and the rest hum in the background - which is essentially what Glee did 90% of the time.

Hopefully, this helps clarify things for you - if you need more of an explanation, please let me know!

[c-is-for-circinate]

Ok, Hades gameplay reaction time!

(Because I have been terrible this quarantine year about posting thoughts about stories I've been invested in, and I'm really enjoying this game, and I'm playing basically blind and I have theories, and what is tumblr for if not recording those things to look back on later.)

I love this specific kind of fantasy/speculative fiction, that straddles the line between 'allegory clearly designed to explore a real-world issue' and 'the themes of this reflect real-world issues but also everything is times one million for drama and setting's sake'. I love it so much. Because, look, this is a story about a teenager/young adult trying to gather up the skills and resources and help he needs to escape his controlling, possessive, emotionally abusive father's house. That's it. Strip away all of the trappings, and that's what the story is about. By comparison, I think about Star Wars. (I love Star Wars too.) That's also a story about a dysfunctional fucked-up family dynamic. But that family is fucked up because dad went on a magic-corruption-induced killing spree, and his twin children were separated at birth to be raised in seclusion with the intention of someday taking him down, and look, that's cool, but it's definitely not how people actually are. All of the dysfunction in that family is an outgrowth of the fantastical setting, which means it is fantastical dysfunction. It can occasionally mirror or remind us of real-life interactions, but it's a fantasy. Which is great and fun to watch and very comforting and so on, but I don't necessarily want that in every story, and I love Hades because it is not that, at all. When you extend out the basic 'kid trying to escape his toxic home environment', Hades is the story of Zagreus trying to get out with the help of his dad's estranged, complicated, wealthy and powerful family, who are absolutely part of the reason why dad is Like That in the first place, and may not be any more reliable in the long run but who he needs right now. And his stepmom and teacher, who love him enough to help him leave, unconditionally and supportively (ask me how many feelings I have about 'look, Hades can't hurt me for helping you, don't worry about me, I am going to take care of you and that means helping you get out of this house' coming from an adult authority figure, ask me). And his dad's employees, who like him but also have to fear the old man's wrath, and walk that line in different places the best they can. And stepmom's long-estranged parent, because this is a story about families and how they split apart and come back together. And all of that is so real, so grounded in actual, concrete, this-is-how-humans-work family dynamics. But it's also individual. The story works so well because Hades isn't just a silhouette of the controlling asshole father; he is clearly The Way He Is for reasons, complicated ones, good and bad alike. The Way He Is has details, particularities, paperwork, a dog he pretends not to love and rely on. He is specific. Nyx and Achilles are specific, not just generic kind stepmom here to be a trope inversion and cardboard cutout teacher. Nyx has backstory and personality of her own, Achilles has a complex history, opinions, a missing lover, and they BOTH have very particular relationships with Hades that aren't just boilerplate script. Yes, there's abstraction there, you meet these characters in brief visual novel-esque three-line conversations over the course of dozens of escape runs, of course there's abstraction--but there's the very real sense that all of these people have nuance, have good and bad days, that they've made choices to be who they are, even if we don't know what those choices are yet. And, like Star Wars, some of the ways in which this story is so specific rely entirely on the fact of the otherworldly setting! I've seen stories that go the other way, that try to use their setting entirely as window dressing, and they end up feeling so flat I can't even remember them right now because they don't let the environment lend complexity and nuance to their characters at all. The environment these characters live in matters. The absolute control Hades exerts over his surroundings is a divine power. The fact that everyone Zag runs into, for or against him, is either immortal or immortally dead, changes how the react to

one another and to the situation at hand. The shape of his attempted escapes (gauntlet combat with a variety of legendary weapons) might be an allegorical construct of the genre, true, but it doesn't work in any sort of real-world setting where there exists the possibility of authority figures above or aside from Hades and his extended fucked-up family. That's part of why the family is so fucked-up in the first place. But these changes still fit well within the realm of, 'yeah, if you took this extremely real-life dynamic and added these factors to it, I can envision people doing this thing'. I can envision these specific people doing this thing. They add to the specificity of these characters. Letting them be influenced by their unreal surroundings makes them more real. So hell yes for good storytelling!!!!

I'm still relatively early in the game (by which I mean I'm like thirty runs in but only just got past Meg for the third time, because I am not good at this game, although in my defense it's only the seventh video game and second button-mashing game I have ever played in my life so there's that), but I'm starting to develop suspicions about Persephone. Because, look, outside of Persephone's absence from the underworld, this story knows its Greek mythology, uses it, revels in it. And there is some kind of mystery still shrouding Persephone leaving in the first place. She left a goodbye to Cerberus in her letter but not to her own son. Nyx has warned Zagreus multiple times not to let the Olympians know she's his mother. He literally never even knew she existed. That's complicated! Add to that, Persephone left--the exact thing we are trying and failing to do again and again and again. She left with one note, which means either she managed a one-shot speedrun out of the entire realm or she had some other way to leave, because if she'd washed up in the Styx pool to plod back to her room and try again, she wouldn't've needed to leave the note in the first place. And, you know, she's Persephone. Really quite famous for leaving the Underworld! Also quite famous for being forced back. So. I'm wondering if Zagreus, so conspicuously absent from her goodbye, has something to do with it after all. Six pomegranate seeds condemned Persephone to six months, half a year, half her life. I wonder if a child that's half of her her constitutes a fitting trade instead. Which, of course Hades would be even more resentful and dismissive and cruel to the kid he got in place of the wife he loved (who he chased away by being cold in the first place). Of course Persephone would have difficulty saying goodbye to her son in those circumstances. It would make sense. The tricky thing here is how the Olympians fit into it, because I also suspect the rift between Hades and Zeus sprang from Persephone's departure. And yet, if the Olympians never knew Zagreus existed, let alone that he's Persephone's son--how can he count as payment into the deal in their eyes? So in that case, what does Zeus think is the justification for Persephone leaving, after the pomegranate thing? Or are we just not doing the pomegranate thing at all? It would be a shame to lose it entirely, out of a story that really seems to enjoy the myths it's playing with. And there should be something complex here, something more than simply 'mom fucked off and left because dad sucked and now I'm following her because same'. It feels more complex than that. 'Mom and dad had a baby to try and save their marriage, it didn't work, but when mom left she had to leave me behind because otherwise dad would have gotten the cops and her extended family involved' feels more right, while still just as grounded in reality as the story has been so far.

I sort of want to write some meta about how each of the six legendary weapons corresponds to their original divine wielder, but I haven't unlocked all of their codex entries yet (look I am very bad with ranged weapons in this game ok, I am working on it), and I still need to think about the details. Aside from, of course, fuck yes of course Hestia's the one with the railgun. Leave drama and elegance and traditional weaponry to her brothers and sister (Demeter, who knows how to get her hands dirty, gets a pass). Hestia is out here to get shit done. With a grenade launcher.

[life-rewritten]

THE GIANTS OF THAI BL 2020 AKA SHOWS STEALING MY HEART IN NOVEMBER

UPDATE AND UPCOMING ANALYSIS NOVEMBER 2020

It's the moment I've been waiting for since the excruciating silence of Thai BLS during the lockdown. It's November, the month of thanksgivings, the month of pre-Christmas jitters, nanowrimo and the month that has finally made me realise we are so close to ending this godforsaken year. Still, most of all, November means that we are getting buttloads of shows that are about to take my breath away. This year has been such an exciting year for BLS because of the increasingly amount of companies and directors willing to produce and release different types of BLS. In this list, we have awaited sequels, delicious plotlines and shocking comebacks. But most of all we have lots and lots of romance and men. Which of these have you been waiting for? Let me know. Let's squeal about it. November is going to be so great!

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

Shows already airing

1.I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU/ INTERPRET, MY LOVE, WITH YOUR HEART

Genre/Themes: Romance, Melodrama, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship

Country: Thailand

Verdict: So finally I rise from the memories of poorly produced bls, and pains of bad acting, and toxic writings, and traumas of stiff actors and homophobic agendas to finally say that without a doubt. Nadao has produced another masterpiece after my other favourite (Non) BL; Greater Man academy. Nadao stuns me, and for a very long time, I couldn't understand that this was how everyone was feeling, one because I wasn't fully educated or in the know about the company, I only saw tv shows in Thailand that were produced by GMMTV and to be honest I didn't think there was anything else above that standard in shows apart from Lakorns and Movies. (I know Sacrebleu) Getting to know and watch Nadao shows has been an experience, and for BL, I am hooked and ready for what else they have to offer. The only qualms that prevent me from gushing about the show are how international fans are treated. It took me a very long time to forgive ITSAY for its subbing platform (and price range), and that's why I refused to watch it with positive feelings. After episode 2 though, I'd be a fool to hold on to resentment when there is no doubt that this BL (despite not knowing if it's a sad ending. I'd hate if it is but it wouldn't change anything) is the best BL of this year. With ridiculous, incredible production, outstanding breathtaking cinematography, beautiful and talented actors and writing so good it blows me away. Episode 2 left my heart in pieces, but in a good way, I haven't recovered from the angst.

Ratings: 4.5/5 Would have been a 5/5 if the pricing made sense but also I'm terrified about a sad ending which I won't be too happy about.

2. FRIEND FOREVER/ OUR LOVE IS SICK

Genre/Themes: Romance, Music, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship, Rich vs poor,  Bullying 

Country: Thailand

Verdict: It's a pity this show is not available for international fans. Because I think people would actually love this show the way I do. It's so precious, reminds me so much of my first ever BL Lovesick (made by the same production team so makes sense) but better. What can I say about this show, really adorable cast, actually so good on the screen, great chemistry, and good storylines that keep me hooked. I am so in love with surprisingly one of my favourite couples this year Tin and Sea. I have such a great time watching this show, and I enjoy also analysing and just piecing together some of the mysteries in the show. It's been so good so far, and I can't wait for more. The first episodes are a little slow-paced, but it gets better as you keep watching it. I'd advise you to watch the director's cut because that has all of the storylines in the episode instead of the tv version which is more censored and has a lot of deleted scenes that mess with the flow of the storyline. Still, one of my favourite Thai shows right now. 

Ratings: 4/5  I think 4/5 is a fair score just because of some confusion when trying to watch it internationally and getting the right version and I do think the story feels like a whiplash between the different styles of writing of the main two couples. Go watch this though if you haven't, dm me and I'll show you how. 

NON-THAI

3. GAYA SA PELIKULA

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, LGBTQ+ Education, Contract relationship, Haters to lovers

Country: Philippines 

Verdict: Normally with verdicts, I have so much to say about a show, also when I analyse I can write essays and essays of information. When it comes to this show, I'm speechless. I'm in awe; I'm crying just even trying to explain how great this show is. How great Fridays are because of this show. How upsetting and damaged I am when the end of the episode occurs, I literally mourn waiting for the next episode the next week because it's too long. This show pulls you in, and it never lets you go. I'm mindblown by the writing of this show, mindblown by the acting, by the production, music, but most of all I have become a mess because of this meta in this show. I have cried so much because of how much I care about this show, the characters are all fleshed out, are so powerfully written, and emotionally tugs at your heartstrings whilst still educating and representing LGBTQ community fantastically. I don't know what we did to deserve a show like this. Maybe its because after years of waiting for something to finally show up and just be unproblematic and be so great with no questions, no confusions, no struggle, this show is just that. And I will be forever thankful to the whole team that brought this to us

Ratings: 5/5 I would give this more than 5 if I could. That's how much this show means to me. 

4. CHERRY MAGIC 

Genre/Themes: Romance, Comedy, Supernatural, Office drama, Slice of Life

Country: Japan

Verdict: Kurosawa and Adachi. That's it. That's the reason for the 5/5 stars when it comes to watching this show. First of all, I like Japanese romantic comedy shows, and anime, and manga. So seeing cherry magic come to life as this amazing form of that makes me so happy. Typically with Japanese BL, everything feels so serious sometimes, and then sometimes it feels too crazy and over the top. But Cherry Magic just feels like a warm hug when you watch it; you can't help your self but to smile and giggle at Adachi's adventures realising that he can read minds because he's a virgin at 30 years old. To add to that, he is given Kurosowa this incredible, amazing, wonderful non-toxic man who absolutely adores him and unconditionally is there for him. I just like what? Where do I get my own Kurosawa? Like it just feels so unfair haha. But really cherry magic is full of great acting, fantastic plot and unique as well. Every character is also written well, and all have interesting dynamics. We also have another side couple who is so funny and ridiculous but also just cute and heartwarming. I have a great time watching this show and the fact that it's ending on Christmas day? Already tells you what this show is, a gift and its a great one. 

Ratings: 5/5 I want my own Kurosawa. That's it. That's all I want Universe.

Shows Upcoming

5. THARNTYPE 7 YEARS OF LOVE

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy,  Mature, LGBTQ+ Representation, Internalised homophobia, Sequel

Country: Thailand

Verdict: This is a complicated show to gush about. First of all TharnType, the series in 2019 was one of my favourite shows that brought me back to this BL thing. I absolutely adore all the actors, and I also loved the storyline like I said before there's something about Mame's writing that I appreciate, I think most of her strengths is found in TharnType. Because of this, this sequel is one of my most anticipated show this year. However, I feel conflicted because I hate sequels. I hate couples having to go through the weird-ass, shallow, conflicts that just end up ruining the meaning of their previous show and leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth about the couple I once loved (Looking at you Together with me the next chapter still traumatised honestly). Enough of the negatives, Tharn and Type from the trailer looks like it's going to be a wild ride, I can even see the great chemistry that made me fall for MewGulf, and I'm so excited to see the new couples and characters. I also am so excited to see TECHNO again and laugh with him every Friday. We also know that the awaited wedding between our couple is also going to be in this show. And that's going to make me bawl like a baby. Let's hope we don't have too many toxic or troublesome storylines, let's hope we don't have too many breakups and fights (because that hurts so much seeing Mew cry) and let's hope we finally have a sequel that is better than its predecessor. 

Ratings: 4.5/5  This is how I feel about it, I don't think I can rate it as 5/5 because of all the worry and anxiety at what the storyline entails—still a great show to look forward to. 

6. MANNER OF DEATH

Genre/Themes: Romance, Crime, Mature, Angst, Drama, Mystery, Thriller, Haters to Lovers

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Think about it. Why wouldn't this be number one on everyone's list of upcoming BLS? We have the return of one of the best actors in this genre MaxTul the actual godfathers of Thai BL; we have an incredible team here with a director that has won multiple awards, with a storyline that is unique to Thai BL, we're getting crime, detective, mystery BL with mature characters who are not in university? As if that's not enough, we also have a really incredible plotline about this forensic doctor who falls in love with someone who we are not sure if we should trust because he could be a murderer! Like oooh yes please, the drama, the angst, the thrill?? I'm ready for this; I am so prepared to give my whole heart and attention on this show. I want it to be so good, to defeat the shows of 2019 that came and took our hearts away, to be the best BL ever. It's so difficult not to raise my expectations when it comes to this show when I know we have a great cast, great chemistry, non-stiff acting, and just a really non-toxic author as well. I look forward to this so much. Only issue/question? Where is the trailer? Hello WETV, where is our teaser? Why don't we know the date for when this is coming out? I want it out now. But I'll try and be patient okay? 

Ratings: 5/5 I can't think of how this show won't be good. And that's really worrying. But for now, I'll keep my expectations high and wait.

7. TONHON CHONTALEE 

Genre/Themes: Romance, Coming of Age, Angst, Comedy, Childhood friendship, GMMTV

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Podd and KHAOTHUNG, (my sun, my heart, my favourite person ever) Sorry just gushing over my two faves. GMMTV has shocked me this year with the announcement of this show. First of all, Khao gets to have a show where he's the main lead. I've been waiting for this, and I'm so proud and excited for him. Not only that obviously, but TonTonChontalee looks really good with a vibe of a  comedic spin to one of my favourite shows Theory of love. I am ready to see Podd act so stupid as Ton and at the same time sob when he finally realises that Chon is the one. I'm so ready to see Khao act his socks off, and the show looks so funny, so fun and just like the chemistry between two is definitely a winner. I cannot wait for this next Friday. And it also has Mike and Toptap! What's not to love? Seriously though I'm praying this is successful, and it helps both Podd and Khao to dominate GMMTV. Let's find out next Friday.

Ratings: 5/5 For Podd and Khaothung. Just worth the rating.

8. GEN Y THE SERIES

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, 2moons Fanfiction, Haters to Lovers

Country: Thailand

Verdict: First of all 2 MOONS Reunion! What?? Very shocked to see this show tbh one because it's like a direct copy of 2moons the series; the same cast, the weird alternations to the same name, the same kind of plot as well. Channel 3 has finally decided to invest in BLs,  one of the biggest companies in Thailand, so the budget is high, the actors are known and famous, the production is good. This is so exciting to see. Also, 2moons was one of my favourite past BLs the whole time it was airing, and I had a massive affinity for Kimmon and Copter, so it's great to see them play their characters again but with a better budget and now glow up and grown. Their acting seems to have improved, Kit and Ming's storyline being the main focus is also really lovely to see. I also love seeing Bas and the other actors from other Bl series (The Moment actors) and I'm excited to know more about the new cast as well. So yeh this show has a great potential to win my heart as well, and the competition is not easy at all. But with a great company behind them and an exciting premise, this can also be a winner. 

Ratings: 4/5 I'm intrigued by this show, and I look forward to seeing what it brings.

November is such an exciting month for someone like me who just loves watching tv and analysing and just seeing romance bloom. These couples, stories and actors have a great potential to be the best things of 2020 so far, each of these shows holds evidence that they're worth paying attention to and honestly I've missed seeing Thai BLs that make me so excited so much. I've missed these actors, I've loved each and every one of them, and I can't wait to see them this month on my screen. What about you, guys? What do you look forward to? Who are your favourites? What are you worried about when it comes to these comebacks. Let's discuss.

[inked-out-trees]

⭐ for The Keep Going Song? Thanks! :)

(anh i would die for you)

Thank you for asking! I am going to be talking about the whole thing because it's fun, and because there's not really many ~secrets~ within the text to ramble about, just little fun snippets!

I'll do it under a cut because I will definitely ramble. Woohoo!

I came across The Keep Going Song (the song) after my Lookout 3 Companion Playlist (& my spotify discovery) introduced me to the Bengsons. The effect was almost instantaneous - it's the kind of warmth I try to encompass in everything I do, and for the next few days I had it on repeat as I worked. This was around the time I was finishing my Lookout script, and I had been toying with the idea of writing a Cornleyverse fic after absolutely devouring all 10 fics in the tag. What I knew was that I wanted it to be sweet, I wanted it to pull them all together, and I wanted it to be a progression. Despite only having seen the Goes Wrong Show, jumping into the fandom made me want to dimensionalize these characters and give them a story beyond everything that had already occured.

I also watched Christmas Carol before / during the writing process, but to date I have not watched Peter Pan or the full-length TPTGW. My prior knowledge comes from Wikipedia, the delightul amateur TPTGW production on YouTube, a friend's excellent transcription of the Haversham Manor script, and tumblr meta analysis. I think I did a reasonable enough job pretending I knew what I was doing.

Let's get going!

I knew off the top that it was going to be vignettes - they would give me room to spread the story over the long period of time it takes for a group of people to grow into something resembling a family. Like I said in the original author's note, there was supposed to be more of the early, snippy days - but I got so focused on making them kinder that I found I couldn't properly write a fight. In hindsight, it probably would have been easier if I tried writing that first, but, well. Once I realized that it was too late. The alphabet idea came later, once I had them all finished: I wanted to organize them somehow, but numbers felt too open, too infinite - closing the story on an organizational endpoint was just really satisfying.

a - Every good story needs a good beginning.

c - Starting with the end of Peter Pan is my sneaky way of slipping past the fact that I haven't seen the earlier shows! The Max and Sandra storyline is just so sweet, and I wanted to let it exist a little bit in between our jump from Peter Pan to Christmas Carol. This vignette came so easily when I wrote it and I love love love the feelings and the tentativity about the whole thing.

f - This was actually the last vignette I wrote. I realized I needed some front-end padding because otherwise my angst plot came rather abruptly, and what better way? At this point, too, I was trying to bring in POVs from each one of our characters, and when deciding on Trevor's POV I thought the exasperation-excitement combination would be an excellent choice. It turns out Trevor is my favourite to write, mostly because I can find his voice a lot easier than some of the others - and probably also because I hold a lot of fondness and nostalgia for stage crew work. Also, I wrote most of this one on a long evening walk in the notes app on my phone. Fun fact.

h - I did my original idea slam in a draft tumblr post, and this one just says "birthday party but one without all the drama of christmas carol". And what do you know, that's exactly what it is! I definitely took the birthday party (in CCGW as well as in this fic) as a kind of proof that they really do like each other, if they're doing things like this and if they want to do things like this - and that theme of okay, they want to be here formed the basis for this part. I think it's exceptionally sweet that Dennis came looking for friends and ended up finding, well, something. And I popped in a little MMNI reference with "one of the Janines" - Backwards Janine? Frontwards Janine? Original Janine? Who knows! It's one of them!

l - The thing about this plot is that it's actually one of the first ideas I had when dreaming up this fic, and I couldn't quite let it go. The point was, what if I somehow split them up? How can they get on when half the society is out of commission? And the most reasonable way I could find to actually get half of them out of commission was the car accident. To be honest, this one is mostly filler - it's also the second vignette I wrote, and it found its birth in the email drafts of my work laptop.

m - Trying to map out this little plotline without overdoing it might have been the most difficult part of this fic, and I'm still not 100% sure I succeeded. This is our explanation for the unease from the vignette above, and it took me 3 rewrites before I finally found something that settled in my brain. "Dennis gets chased by a goose" might be one of my favourite lines in the fic though.

Also, putting these letters right next to each other made me feel really clever for no reason.

n - My Jonathan perspective also took a few stutter-steps in its beginning, but this one ultimately came from the promo video's reveal that Robert and Dennis live together, and me playing with the continual idea of the remaining cast members being rather unmoored in their injured castmates' absence. Robert in particular because I love his character and I love making him Feel Things(TM) (fun hint: this will also be a small theme in the new cpds fic I have in the works!) and I want to see so much from this odd relationship between him and Dennis. Obviously they have to tolerate each other if they are willingly roommates - how far can I go with that? I love how this one turned out.

o - All I have to say about this one is that I still really love the sweetness between these two, and they deserve the world. Also, at some point during writing this I was really caught up with how striking Dave's face silhouette is (don't ask) so that ended up making it in somehow.

q - Girls' Night is SO important to me. After all the work they've done to make these gals friends I needed to capture it, and a pleasant night in just made a lot of sense. This one is the home of a few of my headcanons - Annie has a chef roommate and Max does a lot of the cooking, thus the "neither of us are the usual household cooks" comments, and I also think they're at the point where they can joke about their previous failures (especially with these three together) so the nod to A Trial To Watch (my favourite gws episode) was so fun. Also, Waking Ned really is a silly pick-me-up of a movie - would recommend. Special thanks to CBC for giving us Canadians quality British TV alongside our occasionally questionable homegrown programming.

r - It wouldn't be a fic about progress and growth with this crew without a disheartening moment turned into gold. I wrote this one while barbecuing, another fun fact, and no joke the hardest part was figuring out what to name the play they were doing. I kept pace with the whole "Jonathan can't get onscreen" gag, which was personally hilarious and made me cackle as I wrote it, and the rest of it just felt good. I will always have a soft spot for comfort and reassurance in a story and getting to write it has just been an absolute delight.

t - This was one of my other unplanned vignettes. It was originally to fill out Robert's POV, but also to express a bit of how things have changed in Chris's attitude towards his cast - if there's one thing I would change from Mischief's characerisation thus far, it's this brand of almost-kindness that I consistently need to write him with. It takes the aftermath of the car accident and uses it to kind of make him understand - this is a valuable group of people and I don't want to lose it. But of course he's not the type of person to actually express that in any way, so I thought the frenetic hovering was a good way to get the point across. As well, the kind-of-bonding between Chris and Robert - the two of them are such powerhouses of insistent personality that conflict so easily but they've also got a more secret kind of friendship that deserves to be explored a little more. I really like this vignette and how it ended up portraying how they are around each other, how they really do know each other, especially when they're not fighting. Makes me soft.

w - This is the first vignette I wrote! I honestly didn't realize until writing this just how much I identify with Annie - best of both worlds re. crew and cast, a bit of tenacity regarding getting through things, overall personality - I just love her so so much. She also seems like the most sensible of the cast, so the collective "why are we really here?" moment with Trevor really spoke to me. I love their friendship, I love the kind of quiet vibe this vignette gives off - this is one of the ones I can feel most strongly, the one I can step into and exist inside. I also spent most of my old drama rehearsals and classes without shoes, so that had to make it in just by virtue of the sock brigade (me).

z - One thing I knew for sure since the inception of the fic was that it needed to end on a victory. I took the images I had of this victorious adrenaline, everyone together having a good time, kind of getting smashed, and karaoke (I really wanted the karaoke, for some reason) and went the obvious route: the wedding. Ending on Chris POV also felt so right - possibly because he's the one with the most growth in this fic - and getting to finally feel this triumph with him after all these other trials and tribulations was an absolute joy. The wedding hall, in my head, looks like the one my cousin used (it was at a zoo... my sister and I went on a night walk and heard a lot of screaming peacocks) and I definitely threw all my wistfulness, all my love for the characters I'd developed, and all my love for this fantastic fandom into this part. The incorrect lyrics that Annie sings are exactly what I think every time I hear that song, because I've never looked up the lyrics before and my brain likes to play Mad Libs with my super-questionable auditory processing. And the image of the ballroom staff getting really exasperated with them and shutting all the lights off came to me at night and is hastily scribbled on a sticky note (it's a wonder it's legible) but I still strongly believe that it's the perfect, perfect way to end. I still get the warm feelings when I reread this part, even now, after so many reads.

And, finally - our end quote is exactly what started this whole thing. What is this drama society if not a rough beginning? But the concept that we'll make it through, that we can just take a step and then another and it'll be okay because we're together... it's hard to describe just how much it means to me, to my place in the world, to the world itself. I think one of my rather consistent aims in writing, no matter what it is, is to be able to have this collective - characters that become family, people that are important to each other, this constellation to lean on - because it's all I can say for the human experience. It's probably quite a bit of wishful thinking (as I said to another friend, "I am apparently letting loose on all my repressed social feelings of the past year and shoving them into fics") and a sort of subconscious confirmation that if I write it, I can be it. So this force of understanding and kindness and ultimately good people helping each other through the world is something I can't help but include, something that means the absolute world to me.

I'm so glad to have been able to share this fic with everyone, and extra glad that it's been able to touch some people along the way. I've found such an incredible community in Mischief and coincidentally I think The Keep Going Song represents that warmth, too - the community I've been so lucky to exist inside, how we're helping each other along, step by step. What a beautiful thing to be a part of! Thank you for reading and allowing me to give you a bit of my heart. 💖💖