#this is so trippy I swear I hit post before....

[a-dime-a-day]

If you take requests, I would LOVE to see a gif of the little dance in the alley ("if I hate the headline / I'll make up a headline ...") it's my favorite part 💓

Omg did I not answer this?? I thought I answered this but it's still in my inbox?? I'm so sorry idk what happened @ill-say-anything-i-hafta

I hope these are what you're looking for!!

[hangovercurse]

Falling

Part 6 of the Without You series. Y/N tries to leave Colson’s life for good, but he is hell bent on keeping her.

Colson x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, cheesy dialogue

A/N: It’s done! Read my post about the series if you want to know where I’m going from here. Thank you for reading thus far, I hope its lived up to its expectations! (Also kudos to you if you can name the artists each of the titles have come from)

Word Count: 1179

| i | ii | iii | iv | v |

masterlist

You were trying to push your way through the house with little luck. So much for an “outdoor” party. You were almost to the door when you heard your name being called.

“Y/N, where are you going?” Slim caught you in the crowd. You reluctantly turned to face him, putting a fake smile on your face.

“I’m not really feelin it right now, Slim. I’m gonna head out.” You shrugged, holding your arms as close to yourself as possible.

Slim gave you a concerned look, “Everything okay? I saw you and Colson out back. You guys are good now?”

You chuckled bitterly, “Yeah not really. We were and now we’re not. It’s confusing, don’t worry about it.” You shook your head, “I’ll talk to you later, Slim.”

You turned towards the door, only to hear “Man, what did this fool do this time?” You laughed, walking down the stairs of Trippie’s mansion-house and pulling out your phone, ordering an Uber.

You were 2 seconds from hitting the order button when you heard your ex-bestfriend scrambling down the stairs, calling your name. “Y/N. Fuck. Thank god you’re still here.”

“Just leave her alone, Kells.” Slim called out behind him.

You rolled your eyes, turning so your body was facing away from him. “Y/N I’m sorry.” He tried to stand in front of you, but you kept turning away from him. “Fuck it.” He said before grabbing your arm, spinning you to face him and pressing his lips to yours.

Your lips melded into his, all the frustration you’d been feeling towards him melting into his lips. You were too tired to resist him, giving in to your internal desires. Your hands reached up to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer to you.

When you finally broke apart, you let out a small sigh. “See, Colson, this is why we will never work.” You stepped away from him as your Uber driver pulled up, “We’re too fucked up.”

You spun away from him, confirming your Uber driver’s name, your address, and then slipping into the backseat. You reached to close the door when a tattooed hand pulled it open. “Colson you can’t just-“

He slipped into the seat next to you, closing the door behind him. “I’m gonna talk, and you’re gonna listen. Please.” You thought about protesting, but you knew he wouldn’t give in. “I was an asshole, okay? I am an asshole. I know that and you know that. I just get so fucking insecure around you.”

You raised your eyebrow at his choice of word but let him continue. “I’ve never felt like this before. Like I’m constantly looking for signs that you want me. And then when I don’t find them, I get mad and I put up these walls and I say things to push you away. The truth is that I am terrified of rejection when you’re involved.

“Everything I’ve done I’ve been doing to try and get you back and I just seem to be fucking it up. And I know it’s way too late but I’m not giving up.”

You finally spoke, your words bitter. “You can’t get something back that you never actually had, Colson.”

You watched his face fall in your peripheral vision. Your heart sank and your head spun with thoughts of you and Colson. What would be the harm in being together? All of this would go away if you just let your walls down and let him in. But then, those walls were put up for a good reason. You couldn’t let yourself get attached to him again only for him to break you like he did. But then again, the years of your life spent with Colson had been the best of your life, much better than the last two months. But could you go through that same heartbreak? Was he worth it?

You turned to study him, his head leaning against the window as his eyes traced the passing neighborhoods. “Colson.” You said softly, causing his head to snap towards you, his blue crystals gazing into your own. You took a deep breath, searching for the words. “I’ve been in love with you for as long as I can remember knowing you, and I don’t think I’m ever gonna stop loving you.” His hand reached for yours, and you let him intertwine your fingers. “But I don’t want to- I can’t get hurt like that again. I was broken, I don’t know if I’ve even fully recovered. And I’m scared that if I let myself be in love with you that I’ll get hurt again.” Your eyes were watering as you searched for his, only to find them facing the floor, his thumb rubbing circles on your hand. “So, I guess I’m trying to figure out if it’s worth the risk. If you’re worth the risk.”

His eyes slowly raised to meet yours and you could see the fear he held. “Are you worth it?” You whispered.

His eyes widened, his mouth quivering as he searched for the right words to say. “I am. I swear. I’ll never fucking hurt you again. I’ll do whatever I need to do to prove it to you, just give me one more chance. Give me one chance and I’ll never let you go.”

You stayed silent, weighing his words even though your heart had already made the decision for you. “Okay.” You said softly, your hand squeezing his.

His eyebrow raised, “Okay?”

A smile spread across your face, “Okay.” Colson let out a small laugh, smiling like a toddler given candy. “Now kiss me you idiot.”

And he did. And it was pretty magical. Even though you were in the back of a pretty cramped uber, and even though there was a lot still left unresolved, nothing else mattered. All that mattered was Colson.

“So, I hate to break up what is, truthfully, a really sentimental moment, but we’re here.” Your uber driver, Marcus, said, looking at you two through the rearview mirror.

You giggled, face going red as you realized he had definitely heard all of your deeply personal conversation. Colson opened the door, still holding your hand, and helped you out of the car. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a $20 bill and handing it to the driver with an embarrassed smile.

You tugged on his hand, pulling him towards the apartment. His grip was unfortunately stronger than yours, and he ended up pulling you into him, his arms wrapping around you. His figure towered over you, and you pressed your cheek to his chest, breathing in his scent and listening to his gentle heartbeat.

“Fuck I’m so happy right now.” You looked up at his words, leaning up on your tiptoes and pressing your lips to his.

“Wait till we tell Casie about this.” You giggled.

He pressed a quick peck to your lips. “I think she’s already planning the wedding.”

Your eyes gleamed at the thought of a future with Colson, happiness settling in at the fact that he saw it too.

[zigtheeortega]

ride or die playlist

by @pixeljazzy and @zigtheeortega

so after pj made this post, and was encouraged by @choicesarehard to make a playlist for rodaw, i reached out to her and we decided to collab! this is a comprehensive playlist, with explanations for each song. some being the lyrics fit really well, but others are because the vibe fits the characters (in our opinion), not necessarily the song meaning.

putting the song explanations under the cut, since it’ll be long! songs picked by pj have [p] next to it and mine have [j] next to it! hope you enjoy it!

Logan

What You Know Bout Love, Pop Smoke [p]

I had to apply the pressure, ‘cause you my hidden treasure / I think I’m falling in love 

Are we surprised this song is first? C’mon now. Anyway, literally when I heard it for the first time, I was like this is the love song that I could see someone just vibing to in a car with their partner, at a house party in the corner serenading their boo, etc. and then BOOM a vision of Hieron and Logan in a car appeared because I could totally see this as their vibe. Just the thought of Logan rapping this line to Hieron clears my skin.

[p.s. pj wrote a fic based on this song and it’s perfect you should read it]

The Way, Trippie Redd ft. Russ [p]

We’re lost but, babe, we found the way

Because Logan and MC are two teens are a mess lowkey and don’t know what they want from life quite yet but they know they got it together.

Think About Me, dvsn [p]

This song is just radiating Logan and MC parting ways vibes

FIND MY WAY, DaBaby [p]

I feel like as Logan is driving away from MC to god knows where, this is something he’d definitely drive to

Seasons, 6lack ft. Khalid [p]

You’re lucky the greatest thing I can do is marry you / ‘cause if I could, I’d spill my blood

I absolutely adore this slow, chill song, and feel like this is something MC and Logan would be listening to as they unwind in their loft, and with the favorite line, I think it encapsulates how much Logan truly loves and would do anything for MC

Idfc, blackbear [p]

This is giving me Logan vibes after the reveal where MC leaves the shop and he’s just reeling in his emotions and feelings and is just purely in his bag thinking about everything

Hide, Juice WRLD ft. Seezyn [p]

Really think I found my home, shorty made me feel at home

Think I met my soulmate, yeah, I know it

Dusk Till Dawn, ZAYN ft. Sia [p]

But you’ll never be alone / I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn / I’ll be with you from dusk till dawn / Baby, I’m right here

This song hurts me so so much but it’s giving me MC sleeping on Logan’s chest type of vibes while he’s up because he can’t sleep and he’ . Also reminds me of Logan because we all know that infamous line “I was just a rock in space lucky enough to burn up in your atmosphere for a moment,” and I feel like this was an unspoken if you look to the stars you’ll know I’m always with you type beat.

Fool In Love, Rihanna [p]

Mama, I found a man / who loves me and understands / papa, he’s quite a man / he adores me, he’s my biggest fan

Okay so y’all remember how MC was having a mini identity crisis and didn’t know which version of herself she was? And Logan was listening and understanding and processing everything she was ranting about but in the end was just like no matter which one you decide, I like all of you? Yeah, that. Along with him just supporting her whenever he can, even though sometimes it can be overbearing, and him just loving watching her change and grow before his eyes (even though we not gonna mention the part of him that doesn’t love that change, feeling guilty for the person she’s becoming and how it could change her life, and the initial intentions he had although how he feels now is genuine) is literally what I think about with these lines

And don’t get me wrong, I know he’s not perfect in your eyes / but somehow he’s flawless in mine

Papa, did I let you down? / Are you ashamed of how your little girl turned out?

This is the lyric that really gets me because one of the things I loved about Ride or Die was the complicated relationship MC had with her father as it was something that resonated so strongly with me. So this one right here really just encapsulates an aspect of that because when MC’s on her this is who I am now and I know you resent that because he genuinely is so hurt and in shock of how his girl changed before his eyes, beyond the reigns of control that he once had, and he can’t do anything else but process and accept that his little girl isn’t so little anymore, rolling around with the people he tried so hard to keep her away from.

Roll Dice, Roddy Rich [j]

I seen the Reap’ come / Live my life I had to roll dice / Been through strife, my heart is cold as ice

I’m a star, I’m just hidden in the low light

Pretty explanatory, considering Logan’s been through a considerable amount of situations that put him in harm’s way and he’s come out stronger (and considerably more detached) each time.

Story Of Us, Tinashe [j]

Yeah, you’re the prince of my heart / And now there ain’t no way they can keep us apart, keep us apart

This song reminds me of Logan and MC a lot because it’s an optimistic take on their relationship as a whole and the sad ending.

You Know That I Love You, Donnell Jones [j]

You know that I love you / And that ain’t gon’ change / And though you’re not here with me now / My love for you stays the same

I think Logan would listen to R&B, specifically sappy 90’s R&B, and this line reminds me of them perfectly. I mean just listen to it, it’s perfect.

My Favorite Part, Mac Miller & Ariana Grande [j]

Said, you just don’t know how beautiful you are / And baby that’s my favorite part / You walk around so clueless to it all / Like nobody gonna break your heart

Said, the universe couldn’t keep us apart / Why would it even try?

Before things come together, they have to fall apart

Logan says from the get go that he thinks it’s wild that MC is modest and that he’s surprised she hadn’t gotten a lot of attention from guys. The other song lyrics I mentioned remind me a lot of their separation.

Colt

Me And My Girlfriend, Tupac Shakur [j]

Lost in the whirlwind, ninety-six, Bonnie and Clyde / Me and my girlfriend, do one-eighty-five when we ride

All I need in this life of sin, is me and my girlfriend / Down to ride to the bloody end, just me and my girlfriend

So it’s canon that Colt likes West Coast rap – and this song absolutely embodies Colt’s musical interests and his relationship with MC. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he definitely heard this song and thought of MC.

Something Special, Pop Smoke [p]

I think you’re something special / I’ll take you on a shopping spree

We all know Colt is the king of LA and can definitely buy him and MC anything they want, also the “her father the police” verse quite literally hit the nail on the head

Martin & Gina, Polo G [p]

He was playing games / Got you dancing in the middle of the club

At first, saw this as a Logan and MC song to listen to in the car, but if you’re like me and was romancing Logan but danced in the club with Colt because Logan was being distant, the lyrics just do it for me

Hit ‘Em Up, Tupac Shakur [p]

You couldn’t tell us Colt wouldn’t love this song, we’re not accepting criticism at this time

Pulling Me Back, Chingy ft. Tyrese [j]

Every time I try to leave / Something keeps pulling me back, me back / Telling me I need you in my life / It was meant to be / You were meant for me / So that means we gotta make it work

This song reminds me a lot of Colt’s feelings towards MC, because in the lyrics they’re not mentioning they necessarily love her, they’re just gravitating towards her, realizing they need her. And that’s exactly how Colt works through his feelings.

Loveeeeeee Song, Rihanna ft. Future [j]

Boy lately, you been stingy with your time / Got me wondering, I’m wondering if I’m on your mind / Boy I just wanna be in your possession / You say I’m the one you want so come express it

Yeah, we all know Colt wasn’t straightforward with his feelings but is more prone to expressing himself physically, and I think this song feels like a confession of her own qualms with him but recognizing that she’s alright with him being physical over verbal. Honestly it’s probably not that deep but this song reminds me of Colt x MC so much.

Complicated, Rihanna [j]

Why is everything with you so complicated / Why do you make it hard to love you / Oh I hate it / ‘Cause if you really wanna be alone / I, will throw my hands up ‘Cause baby I tried

God this whole song is Colt and MC all over because he’s so wishy washy and doesn’t express himself properly.

90210, Travis Scott [j]

I think Colt and Logan would bump this and that’s my only reasoning.

Changed Up, Rae Sremmurd [j]

I think Logan and Colt both alike would bump this in their car and maybe relate to the lyrics and the general vibe of it.

Demons and Angels, A Boogie With a Hoodie ft. Juice WRLD [p]

I’m from the West Side, know not to play with us, yeah

I think I’m addicted to this lifestyle, I swear

Colt is quite literally from the West Side, and the ‘I think I’m addicted to this lifestyle’ line is what really stood out to me because Colt wanted nothing than to be a part of his father’s life and legacy, and Kaneko wanted to keep that separate from him because he knew Colt would be all in.

Run This Town, Jay-Z ft. Rihanna [p]

Does this need an explanation because you already know Colt is running the fuck outta LA thank you for tuning in

Mona

Ungodly Hour, Chloe x Halle [j]

You know that I’ve, I heard it all before / You’re hesitant, wish you could give me more

I don’t have the time / To teach you how to love all over again / Now let me ask you this / Are you giving all that you could give?

This is Mona and MC all over. She was clear about being hurt by an ex, and that it was hard for her to open up to MC in the first place, let alone fall for her. So this is like a confessional from MC to Mona.

Te Amo, Rihanna [j]

Then she said Te amo, then she put her hand around my waist / I told her no, she cried Te amo / I told her I’m not gonna run away, but let me go / My soul is awry and without asking why / I said Te amo

The lyrics are sad but this reminds me of Mona and MC, too. There’s a lot of push and pull with Mona, so I think this describes their back and forth so well.

Scared of Love, Juice WRLD [p]

Not scared to love, just scared of love

I initially put this in the Logan section, but I think it’s more fitting for Mona because she put up these walls to avoid putting herself at risk in the process of giving someone her all after the last girl played her, but underneath it all, she’s still capable to love even though she may think she’s undeserving of it from MC or that love in itself is a scam.

ball w/o you, 21 Savage [p] [and j bc our minds are linked]

I’d rather have loyalty than love / ‘Cause love don’t really mean jack / See love is just a feeling / You can love somebody and still stab them in they back

This is giving me Mona and her ex vibes, and just how Mona is a very everyone for themselves type of person so she has no problem balling by herself because that’s what she expects in the end.

Escape, Akon and Wizkid [p]

We can run away / so far away, escape

Oh, my baby, oh, baby / I would never let you go

Okay I know our songs for Mona have been sad lately, but this reminds me of them because Mona said MC would be hard asf to forget and I already know MC is scrambling to find a solution, a possibility, where Mona didn’t have to go to jail and they’d be able to be together, hence ‘escape’.

Escape, Kehlani [p]

Strange for me to wanna love someone / Who’s better by themselves

‘Cause I can’t let you lose yourself, looking for me / And I can’t let you make me your, your everything

I know you see this escape theme I’m on here LMFAOO but I think this is in Mona’s perspective about MC because she’s like MC is a goody two shoes, new to this life, etc. just overall someone with a better future than me and I don’t wanna mess that up for them (hence the I’m dangerous and pushing her away in the beginning and all the warnings).

Acquainted, The Weeknd [p]

Baby, you’re no good / Cause they warned me ‘bout your type girl, I’ve been ducking left and right

To say that we’re in love is dangerous / But girl I’m so glad we’re acquainted

Can’t Remember to Forget You, Shakira ft. Rihanna [p and j]

I can’t remember to forget you / I keep forgetting I should let you go

“You’re gonna be damn hard to forget.”

This is so Mona because it’s both flexible in meaning with her ex and MC. 

MC

Don’t Make It Harder On Me, Chloe x Halle [j]

If you keep acting so sweet / I might just wake up and leave / This boy that I pinky swore / We’d be together for sure / I can’t be thinking of you / When I’m alone with my boo / If you smile at me again / I may do something stupid

Gives me Logan/Colt/Mona love triangle type vibes!

Who Can I Run To, Xscape [j]

Who can I run to, to share this empty space? / Who can I run to, When I need love? / Who can I run to, to fill this empty space with laughter?

After her li’s leave this def gives me those bittersweet vibes like when they all leave L.A., including MC for college.

Aston Martin Music, Rick Ross [j]

Bobbin’ to the music / This is how we do it, all night / Breezin’ down the freeway / Just me and my baby

Would’ve came back for you / I just needed time to do what I had to do / Caught in the life / I can’t let it go / Whether that’s right I won’t ever know

This reminds me of another bittersweet moment like MC is reflecting on her favorite times with her LI, but also acknowledging that her LI can’t be 100% loyal to her because of her lifestyle

Love Without Tragedy / Mother Mary, Rihanna [j]

Brown eyes, tuxedo, fast cars / A James Dean on the low, Dean on the low

Who knew the course of this one drive / Injured us fatally

Let’s live in the moment / As long as we got each other / Die in the moment / I’m prepared to die in the moment / ‘Cause even forever ain’t forever

This entire song fits for all the LI’s (despite the lyrics saying “boy” it works for all of them perfectly. I just picked a couple lyrics to prove it!

Question Existing, Rihanna [j]

Who am I living for?/ Is this my limit?/ Can I endure some more?/ Chances I’m given, question existing

Reminds me of when MC was torn between loyalty to her father and Jason Shaw and MPC at the same time.

Bed of Lies, Nicki Minaj ft. Skylar Grey [p]

This is 100% MC after the reveal.

Change Your Life, Kehlani ft. Jhene Aiko [p and j]

I heard that you a gangsta / Not one to try to save her / Always focus on your paper / Don't got time to wager with your heart

You deserve someone that'll take you to another level

The lyrics to this song fit so well with all of the LI’s. Definitely addresses all of the LI’s reluctance to be with MC and MC’s pursuit of them.

Serial Lover, Kehlani [p and j]

Lord knows / My intentions are pure and my heart full of gold, oh

This song fits MC’s relationship with all of the LI’s, especially when there’s conflict between them. MC is miles more transparent with her feelings than Logan, Colt, and Mona.

She’s So Gone, Naomi Scott [p]

So it looks like the joke’s on you / ‘cause the girl that you thought you knew / She’s so gone

You can look but you won’t see the girl I used to be, ‘cause she / she’s so gone, away / like history

Yes this is from Lemonade Mouth and yes I feel like this embodies MC perfectly!

Misc.

(this includes Ximena, Toby, side characters, the overall vibe of ROD, etc.)

Tints, Anderson .Paak ft. Kendrick Lamar [j]

Ridin’, ridin’, round that open street / I need tints / I need my windows tinted / I can’t be flying down that 110 with a bad bitch in my whip / I need tints

This reminds me a lot of Ximena and Toby because they’re so chill and carefree compared to the rest of the crew, and this song embodies that.

Nascar, Roddy Ricch [p]

Honestly, heard this song and thought I’d be perfect for another side show, or a racing song

We Don’t Luv Em, HoodRich Pablo Juan [p]

Another side show/racing song

DJ Got Us Fallin’ In Love, Usher [p]

I feel like this could’ve played at the club depending on the vibe they were going for, and even if they weren’t, I feel like the club was a very romantically charged event so the DJ had errbody falling in love (MC and whoever, Toby and the guy he went off to dance with, etc.)

break da law, 21 Savage [p]

Me and my dawgs break laws

This is Kaneko and the crew, even though Kaneko would never call them his dawgs, but you get the gist.

Trust Nobody, Lil Wayne ft. Adam Levine [p]

I don’t trust nobody, not my lovers, not my friends / I don’t make no promises ‘cause I know just how they’ll end / I don’t trust nobody, I don’t need nobody else / And as messed up as it sounds, I don’t even trust myself, yeah

This hurts me because the song talks about not being able to trust people in general so I feel like this has been Logan all his life, Mona after she was betrayed, and Colt after the death of his father (minus the don’t trust my lover part because obviously they are whipped for MC and you can’t change my mind).

Undercover, Kehlani [p]

You know they don’t wanna see us together / But it don’t matter, no, ‘cause I got you

Baby, they don’t wanna see me be happy / ‘Cause they ain’t happy, no -- they don’t got you

So this is MC with all the LI’s because everybody (Riya, Darius, her dad, etc.) thinks everyone in the crew is bad news but no matter who MC is with, they’re happy with them regardless of what everyone thinks.

Party Monster, The Weeknd [p]

Okay, this might seem really weird, but I feel like this is a song that would play in the background as the crew would plan or orchestrate a heist you know like the camera panning to different people just really focused on that they’re doing like there’s some camera work going on in my head that I wish I could properly articulate but I hope you guys see the vision.

Shut Up and Drive, Rihanna [p and j]

This is self explanatory.

[insomnihan]

han’s Entire Thoughts and Feelings on TWICE’s “More & More”

ITS BEEN 84 YEARS-

I HAVENT DONE AN AFTERTHOUGHTS POST IN FOR-F UCKING EVER BUT I AM HERE NOW ANYWAY LETS TALK ABOUT QUEENS TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(btw this might be shorter bc im tired i moved houses recently so im sorry if its not as enthusiastic as the others)

there are no read mores here so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

ALRIGHT SO-

THE SONG okay........................... initial feelings ill be one hundred percent real with yall im lowkey not feeling it pls do not kill me im begging- like something about the chorus is just not????? clicking for me???????? its MOSTLY sana saying more and more so many times that just wont vibe with me lets be real tho i might like it when im done typing this s hit THO everything else around is pretty catchy!!!!!!!!!! something about that instrumental is hitting different like the introduction with nayeon and mina was very pleasant and was a nice start to the song and that instrumental part in the chorus part is genuinely nice OH BINCH THE DANCE BREAK SECTION LISTEN IT KINDA SENT ME TO ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTENCE that s hit................... hurted-

the little rap section dahyun and chaeyoung do after the dance break.................. hmm........... i dunno actually it was certainly unexpected perhaps the song couldve been done without it.............? or mayhaps placed somewhere else.............?

OFC THIS DOES NOT MEAN IM LEANING MORE DISLIKING THE SONG I REALLY DO LIKE IT BUT SOME PARTS ARE MORE EH TO ME IM SORRY-

HOWEVER THE DANCE HELLO- TWICE DANCES DO BE HITTING REALLY DIFFERENT THO that beginning part when their all together and in the water was *chefs kiss* like that ending section of it with jihyo in the front iS A YES FROM ME- that part with momo before she says ‘so one more time’............. Thoughts™ are being thought as much as i dont enjoy the ‘more more more more more and more’ part as much as the rest of the song that dance is still fitting for it!!!!! its nothing like fancy tho i will not be dancing along with them its very much on brand for them to have a fun choreo that everyone else will like to dance to

DANCE BREAK.......................... HOW ARE YOU TODAY- ill be honest and admit that i watched the dance break teaser thing LISTEN THEY DIDNT HAVE TO SNAP THEY REALLY DIDNT BUT BI CTH THEY SERVED AND NOW IM FULL all their arms waving and swinging around and when they were behind momo being all symmetrical and s hit!!!!!! momo.................... i swear tO F CKING GOD-

WE LOVE A COLORFUL MUSIC VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE VISUALS WERE JUST SO PRETTY™!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALL OF THE NATURE AND FLOWERS AND THE ANIMALS AND THE SHINY™ THINGS HOW THERES A WHOLE PLETHORA OF COLORS IN NEARLY EVERY SECOND ON THIS VIDEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HONESTLY VERY VERY VERY PLEASANT TO MY EYES VERY SPARKLY NO COMPLAINTS FROM ME

(although a little trippy at times bc of all of the editing with making multiples of them and extra lights and ✨ Sparkles™���)

SOME SCENES THAT I LIKED AND WANNA MENTION:

THE BEGINNING ALL OF IT

THE FIRST ROOM THEY ALL DANCED IN FOR THE CHORUS

THE SPARKLY SPIDER WEBS

H O R S E S P O T L I G H T

WHEN THEY ALL DANCED IN FRONT OF THAT COLORFUL ARCH OR WHATEVER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WATER OUTSIDE

WHEREVER THE HELL THEY WERE FOR THE DANCE BREAK

T H E M

WHERE THE F UCK DID THESE FOREST GODDESSES COME FROM-

WE F KUCING GET IT YOURE ALL SUPER GORGEOUS AND PRETTY AND HOLY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YALL KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT BOB HAIRCUTS ON GIRLS- NAYEON LOOKS SO GOOD WHAT IN THE GOOD GOD- SPECIFICALLY THAT HEADBAND AND CROP TOP DURING THE SECOND CHORUS F KCING KICK ME

JEONGYEON PLS BE QUIET WITH THIS BLONDE HAIR OR ELSE I WILL D WORD IM NOT JOKING AROUND that look with her hair in a bun with that dress thats long in the front with those black boots............... oh f cuk-

MOMO ARE YOU F CKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW this shade of blonde is Excellent on her™ and its all wavy and s hit that purple outfit at the beginning and that crop top THE WHITE ONE I CANT-

perhaps........................... i really like orange hair 🥴🥴🥴.................. sana said F CUK YOUR BREATH IM TAKING IT i dont even know why im even A LITTLE shocked like i SAW THE TEASERS i knew i was gonna get f ucked the hell UP i just pls leave me alone-

MY F CUKING BIAS JIHYO WHAT IN THE GODDAMN- THIS LONG PINK HAIR AND THE WAVINESS IM JUST.................. [REST] the green outfit at the beginning already nearly ended me and that one part where its up in a pony tail...................... [REST 2.0]

MINA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 SO BEAUTIFUL WITH YOUR BLONDE HAIR she looks like a goddess THE MOST in that white dress honestly that multicolored dress my knees aRE WEAK the pigtails that look sheS SO CUTE OH NO-

right off the start dahyuns dark blue hair and that blue dress............................ 😳😳😳 holy god- she used to be my bias but my god does she still breaks my kneecaps and twists my neck 180 that purple dress and she has braids mY GOODNESS

chaeyoung grabbing me by the neck with braids in one scene and theN BUNS IN THE NEXT how she looking IN GENERAL while she was behind those spiderwebs give me a minute- BUT THEN the white outfit during the dance break...................... BRO DO NOT-

tzuyu with red hair.................. I Am Looking 👁👄👁 LI👏TER👏ALLY👏 THAT FIRST SCENE WHEN SHE SINGS WITH THE GREEN DRESS AND BOOTS MESS👏ME👏UP👏 the crop top the crop top listen the cROP TOP- 

LIKE to keep it really real with yall I DONT HATE IT I DO NOT but i dont love it as much as like what is love or fancy i love it enough that i wont like SKIP IT IF IT CAME UP ON MY PLAYLIST its a really nice song for the summer and its fun to watch and trust me i still be bouncing to it while listening to it ITS DEFINITELY ONE OF THOSE SONGS YOULL JUST END UP LOVING IF YOU LISTENED TO IT ENOUGH TIMES

IN CONCLUSION: ILL LIKE IT MORE & MORE EVENTUALLY

[unheardradical]

How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting...

SkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... SkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting Community Ribald knitters teamed up with a neural-network creator to generate new types of tentacled, cozy shapes. A SkyKnit design as interpreted by michaela112358, a Ravelry user Ravelry / michaela112358 ALEXIS C. MADRIGAL | MAR 6, 2018 | TECHNOLOGY Like The Atlantic? Subscribe to The Atlantic Daily, our free weekday email newsletter. Email SIGN UP Janelle Shane is a humorist who creates and mines her material from 1 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... neural networks, the form of machine learning that has come to dominate the field of artificial intelligence over the last half-decade. Perhaps you’ve seen the candy-heart slogans she generated for Valentine’s Day: DEAR ME, MY MY, LOVE BOT, CUTE KISS, MY BEAR, and LOVE BUN. Or her new paint-color names: Parp Green, Shy Bather, Farty Red, and Bull Cream. Or her neural-net-generated Halloween costumes: Punk Tree, Disco Monster, Spartan Gandalf, Starfleet Shark, and A Masked Box. Her latest project, still ongoing, pushes the joke into a new, physical realm. Prodded by a knitter on the knitting forum Ravelry, Shane trained a type of neural network on a series of over 500 sets of knitting instructions. Then, she generated new instructions, which members of the Ravelry community have actually attempted to knit. “The knitting project has been a particularly fun one so far just because it ended up being a dialogue between this computer program and these knitters that went over my head in a lot of ways,” Shane told me. “The computer would spit out a whole bunch of instructions that I couldn’t read and the knitters would say, this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read.” The human-machine collaboration created configurations of yarn that you probably wouldn’t give to your in-laws for Christmas, but they were interesting. The user citikas was the first to post a try at one of the earliest patterns, “reverss shawl.” It was strange, but it did have some charisma. 2 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... Shane nicknamed the whole effort “Project Hilarious Disaster.” The community called it SkyKnit. The first yarn product of SkyKnit, by the Ravelry user citikas (Ravelry / citikas) The idea of using neural networks to do computer things has been around for decades. But it took until the last 10 years or so for the right mix of techniques, data sets, chips, and computing power to transform neural networks into deployable technical tools. There are many different kinds suited to different sorts of tasks. Some translate between different languages for Google. Others automatically label pictures. Still others are part of what powers Facebook’s News Feed software. In the tech world, they are now everywhere. The different networks all attempt to model the data they’ve been fed 3 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... by tuning a vast, funky flowchart. After you’ve created a statistical model that describes your real data, you can also roll the dice and generate new, never-before-seen data of the same kind. How this works—like, the math behind it—is very hard to visualize because values inside the model can have hundreds of dimensions and we are humble three-dimensional creatures moving through time. But as the neural-network enthusiast Robin Sloan puts it, “So what? It turns out imaginary spaces are useful even if you can’t, in fact, imagine them.” Out of that ferment, a new kind of art has emerged. Its practitioners use neural networks not to attain practical results, but to see what’s lurking in the these vast, opaque systems. What did the machines learn about the world as they attempted to understand the data they’d been fed? Famously, Google released DeepDream, which produced trippy visualizations that also demonstrated how that type of neural network processed the textures and objects in its source imagery. Google’s David Ha has been working with drawings. Sloan is working with sentences. Allison Parrish makes poetry. Ross Goodwin has tried several writerly forms. But all these experiments are happening inside the symbolic space of the computer. In that world, a letter is just a defined character. It is not dark ink on white paper in a certain shape. A picture is an arrangement of pixels, not oil on canvas. And that’s what makes the knitting project so fascinating. The outputs of the software had to be rendered in yarn. * * * 4 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... Knitting instructions are a bit like code. There are standard maneuvers, repetitive components, and lots of calculation involved. “My husband says knitting is just maths. It’s maths done with string and sticks. You have this many stitches,” said the Ravelry user Woolbeast in the thread about the project. “You do these things in these places that many times, and you have a design, or a shape.” In practice, knitting patterns contain a lot of abbreviations like k and p, for knit and purl (the two standard types of stitches), st for stitches, yo for yarn over, or sl1 for “slip one stitch purl-wise.” The patterns tend to take a form like this: row 1: sl1, k�, k1 (4 sts) o row 2: sl1, k�, k to end of row (5 sts) The neural network knows nothing of how these letters correspond to words like knit or the actual real-world action of knitting. It is just taking the literal text of patterns, and using them as strings of characters in its model of the data. Then, it’s spitting out new strings of characters, which are the patterns people tried to knit. The project began on December 13 of last year, when a Ravelry user, JohannaB, suggested to Shane that her neural net could be taught to write knitting patterns. The community responded enthusiastically, like the user agadbois, who proclaimed, “I will absolutely teach a computer to knit!!! Or at least help one design a scarf (or whatever godforsaken mangled bit of fabric will come out of this).” 5 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... Over the next couple of weeks, they crept toward a data set they could use to build the model. First, they were able to access a fairly standardized set of patterns from Stitch-maps.com, a service run by the knitter J. C. Briar. Then, Shane began to add submissions crowdsourced from Ravelry’s users. The latter data was messy and filled with oddities and even some NSFW knitted objects. When I expressed surprise at the ribaldry evident in the thread (Knitters! Who knew?), one Ravelry user wanted it noted that the particular forum on which the discussion took place (LSG) has a special role on the site. “LSG (lazy, stupid, and godless) is an 18+ group designed to be swearing-friendly,” the user LTHook told me. “The main forums are family-friendly, and the database tags mature patterns so people can tailor their browsing.” Thus, the neural network was being fed all kinds of things from this particular LSG community. “A few notable new additions: Opus the Octopus, Dice Bag of Doom, Doctor Who TARDIS Dishcloth, and something merely called ‘The Impaler,’” Shane wrote on the forum. “The number of patterns with tentacles is now alarmingly high,” she said in another post. When they hit 500 entries, Shane began training the neural network, and slowly feeding some of the new patterns back to the group. The instructions contained some text and some descriptions of rows that looked like actual patterns. For example, here’s the first 4 rows from one set of instructions that the neural net generated and named “fishcock.” 6 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... fishcock row 1 (rs): *k3, k2tog, [yo] twice, ssk, repeat from * to last st, k1. row 2: p1, *p2tog, yo, p2, repeat from * to last st, k1. row 3: *[p1, k1] twice, repeat from * to last st, p1. row 4: *p2, k1, p3, k1, repeat from * to last 2 sts, p2. The network was able to deduce the concept of numbered rows, solely from the texts basically being composed of rows. The system was able to produce patterns that were just on the edge of knittability. But they required substantial “debugging,” as Shane put it. One user, bevbh, described some of the errors as like “code that won’t compile.” For example, bevbh gave this scenario: “If you are knitting along and have 30 stitches in the row and the next row only gives you instructions for 25 stitches, you have to improvise what to do with your remaining five stitches.” But many of the instructions that were generated were flawed in complicated ways. They required the test knitters to apply a lot of human skill and intelligence. For example, here is the user BellaG, narrating her interpretation of the fishcock instructions, which I would say is just on the edge of understandability, if you’re not a knitter: 7 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... “There’s not a number of stitches that will work for all rows, so I started with 15 (the repeat done twice, plus the end stitch). Rows two, four, five, and seven didn’t have enough stitches, so I just worked the pattern until I got to the end stitch and worked that as written,” she posted to the forum. “Double yarn-overs can’t be just knit or just purled on the recovery rows; you have to knit one and purl the other, so I did that when I got to the double yarn-overs on rows two and six. The SkyKnit design “fishcock” as interpreted by the Ravelry user BellaG (Ravelry / BellaG) This kind of “fixing” of the pattern is not unique to the neural-network- generated designs. It is merely an extreme version of a process that knitters have to follow for many kinds of patterns. “My wrestling with the [SkyKnit-generated] ‘tiny baby whale Soto’ pattern was different from other patterns not so much in what needed to be done, as the 8 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... degree to which I needed to interpret and ‘read between the lines’ to fit it together,” the user GloriaHanlon told me. An attempt to knit the pattern “tiny baby whale Soto” by the user GloriaHanlon (Ravelry / gloriahanlon) Historically, knitting patterns have varied in the degree of detail they provided. New patterns are a little more foolproof. Old patterns do not suffer fools. “I agree that an analogy with 19th-century knitting patterns is quite fitting,” the user bevbh said. “Those patterns were often cryptic by our standards. Interpretation was expected.” But a core problem in knitting the neural-network designs is that there was no actual intent behind the instructions. And that intent is a major part of how knitters come to understand a given pattern. “When you start a knitting pattern, you know what it is that you’re trying to make (sock, sweater, blanket square) and the pattern often comes with a picture of the finished object, which allows you to see the details. You go into it knowing what the designer’s intention is,” BellaG 9 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AMSkyKnit: How an AI Took Over an Adult Knitting... https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/... explained to me. “With the neural-network patterns, there’s no picture, and it doesn’t know what the finished object is supposed to be, which means you don’t know what you’re going to get until you start knitting it. And that affects how you adjust to the pattern ‘mistakes’: The neural network knows the stitch names, but it doesn’t understand what the stitches do. It doesn’t know that a k2tog is knitting two stitches together (a decrease) and a yo is a yarn-over (a lacy increase), so it doesn’t know to keep the stitch counts consistent, or to deliberately change them to make a particular shape.” Of course, that is what makes neural-network-inspired creativity so beguiling. The computers don’t understand the limitations of our fields, so they often create or ask the impossible. And in so doing, they might just reveal some new way of making or thinking, acting as a bridge into the future of these art forms. “I like to imagine that some of the techniques and stitch patterns used today [were] invented via a similar process of trying to decipher instructions written by knitters long since passed, on the back of an envelope, in faded ink, assuming all sorts of cultural knowledge that may or may not be available,” the user GloriaHanlon concluded. The creations of SkyKnit are fully cyborg artifacts, mixing human whimsy and intelligence with machine processing and ignorance. And the misapprehensions are, to a large extent, the point. ABOUT THE AUTHOR is a staff writer at The Atlantic. He's the author of Powering the Dream: The History and Promise of Green Technology. ALEXIS C. MADRIGAL  Twitter  Email 10 of 10 3/10/18, 5:37 AM

[sicklylittlesnowflake]

Can I have sick Bones please? The Doctor getting sick but refusing to leave his post because he's the Chef Medical Officer and people need him and the rest of the crew have to get him to take a break because he needs caring for too. Thank you, you're amazing!

(I’ve actually never written Star Trek before, but wanted to try it out because I love these characters!! I’ve only started watching the original series, so this is mostly based on the JJ Abrams current movies! Also sorry this is a little short, I’m trying to get used to writing ST!! Hopefully that’s cool with you!!)

It had been a very long two weeks.

The first incident was some strange plant that had caused some weird rash on Sulu–and Bones had spent the whole night researching and trying to find the proper way to treat it. Needless to say he hadn’t gotten any sleep.

The next was Scotty contracting some alien disease–and of course, Bones spent several days healing the man. It had been a pretty violent illness too–causing him to feel very drained afterwards.

Literally the moment Scotty recovered–Uhura and Spock both came in with severe injuries they had gotten from the previous mission. It took some time to heal them too.

As Bones exhaustedly collapsed on his hair as he discharged Spock and Uhura, he heard faint coughing and a light scolding voice in the distance. He sighed in exasperation as Sulu dragged a sick Chekov into sickbay.

Just when he thought everything had gone wrong, of course, of course, Jim had to throw himself into a reckless situation and put himself into critical condition. Of course.

As he checked Jim’s vitals one last time for the night, he began to cough softly into his sleeve, the sound sounding very chesty and it felt weird on his chest. But he couldn’t rest–there was still work to do.

Bones sat himself down by his desk, opening the lamp by it and beginning to work away when he heard some feet shuffling. “Great,” he thought.

“Doktor?” Chekov’ voice rang out; just a tad still raspy from his flu a few days ago.

“Chekov, I swear to god I will throw a rampage if yet another person is sick of injured,” He said a little too bitterly than he intended, not looking up from his work.

“N-no, sir. I just brought you some tea–if you would like zat–”

Bones’s heart melted, and he looked up to see the anxious teenager fiddling with a mug–his favourite mug–and what smelled like his favourite tea. He softened a little.

“..That’s..very kind, Mr.Chekov. You can set it over here,” He said warmly, managing a smile despite the throbbing pain in his temples.

After setting it down the Russian boy turned to leave, and as he was about to leave he turned around, looking worried.

“Doktor? Vill you please get some rest tonight? You always take care of us..but never yourself,” Chekov asked, a little nervously.

Bones sighed, about to snap at the kid and tell him that he had no choice, that everyone needed him, that he couldn’t just take a rain check, but he had a soft spot for the kid.

“I will, Pavel, in a little while.”

“Dobroy nochi.”

Bones didnt like lying to Chekov–but last night he did. He stayed up all night tending to Jim–worried out of his mind for the reckless man, and doing all sorts of other work. He coughed harshly into his sleeve, the sound awfully chesty and deep. He rummaged around, checking on Jim and whatnot when Uhura walked in.

“I just came to check on–Doctor?! Oh my, you look..”

She came closer to him and gently placed a hand on his face, bringing it towards her so she could see. Bones’s reflexes were awfully slow due to his illness, and was too slow to immediately swat Uhura’s hand away.

She frowned, “You’re really warm! This isn’t good–you have to stop working so hard!”

“But I–”

“What seems to be the problem, Uhura?” Spock asked, waking calmly into sickbay.

“Dr McCoy here is very sick, and I am currently trying to get him to rest,”

“Why? Is he not cooperating with you? But why not? It is highly illogical to be harming one’s body in order to be of service for someone else’s, then the effort is not at its maximum potential,”

“Exact–”

Uhura was cut off by Bones’s sudden coughing fit–the fit seeming to last an eternity. His coughs were harsh and painful, doubling him over and he was forced to balance himself on a nearby table. Soon Uhura was rubbing his back softly.

Once he finished, Bones turned back to whatever he was doing, “I am just fine! Leave me alone, now!”  

Just as he finished his sentence, the world began to spin as if he was on some trippy amusement park ride and he stumbled, and Scotty, who was now there apparently, caught him.

“Aye, the lad’s after coming down with something, here now, help me bring him to a bed, Spock,” Scotty said gently, helping Bones over to a bed despite his protests.

“I can’t–” Bones hissed from under the covers.

“Why?” Scotty challenged.

“Because I have to be taking care of everyone else–I can’t rest, it’s not like I don’t want to, but I have to–everyone’s depending on me..”

“Exactly, Doctor, people depend on you. To be you–healthy you, you need to take care of yourself. You can’t have the whole world on your shoulders–let us help you, all of us? We’re all willing, we want to help you. So please, take a rest, doctor,” Uhura said kindly, tucking him into the covers.

“She is correct, Doctor McCoy. In order for you to be at your best standard, you must ensure to maintain proper and efficient self care,” Spock commented.

“Oh, shut the fuck up, Spock,” Bones teased, albeit a little weakly, and soon after was drifting off into a long sleep.

“So, I’m the impossible one,” Jim’s loud voice boomed out.

Bones winced, his headache still present, “Sorry, could you be any louder? I’m afraid that your whispers are practically inaudible!”

“Sorry,” Jim apologised sheepishly, walking up to Bones’s bed and sitting down next to him.

“You shouldn’t be up, Jim, when did you wake up?” He asked, sitting up only for Jim to push him down and stick a tongue out.

“Nuh uh, you are getting some rest, big guy. I woke up a few hours ago–Spock and Uhura are keeping me captive but I managed to escape to see my Prince Charming,” he teased.

“Oh, fuck the fuck off, James Tiberius Kirk,” Bones groaned, rubbing at his temples, before erupting into an intense coughing fit.

Jim helped him to sit up before handing him a glass of water to down. He sighed.

“You really are sick, aren’t you?..Listen, I’m really sorry for worrying you, Bones.”

“Well, ya sure did–”

“Dude, but you’ve gotta start taking care of yourself too–in all honesty, not as good as taking care of other people as you. I’m helpless in this situation and I hate seeing you like this.”

Bones smirked, “..Did you just..admit..I’m better than you..?”

Jim hissed and lightly hit Bones on the arm, getting up and rolling his eyes before walking to leave, and just before he did he turned back and gave Bones a soft smile.

“..Hope you feel better, Bones.”

[eirenare]

Pitioss’ Ruins: my experience + talking a bit about the theory

[SPOILER ALERT!]

So, yesterday was THE day.

The day I was about to finally confront Pitioss and get to know by myself (with no guide by my side and just having seen a couple of screenshots) how much a torture it was... And since it was such a freaking memorable dungeon (worth every single minute of the approximately 6h I spent there), I think this is gonna be a long post. However, I’m going to organize it in parts because, well, if anyone is interested in reading this and just wants to get to some parts, it’s easier like this.

Parts: 

1) THE LANDING

2) THE WALK TO PITIOSS

3) INSIDE PITIOSS

4) INSIDE PITIOSS: APPEARENCE AND IMAGERY

5) INSIDE PITIOSS: PUZZLES

6) CONCLUSIONS OF THE DUNGEON

7) ABOUT PITIOSS THEORY 

(The link was only in that section, but I’m putting it here too just in case someone’s just interested about it but doesn’t feel like scrolling a lot: 

https://www.reddit.com/r/FFXV/comments/5t367b/pitioss_ruins_revelations/?st=j0epe7zf&sh=1111e262 )

1) THE LANDING

I already had the Regalia on the area, got to land it a day or two earlier and went as surprisingly good as to land it on at 1st attempt that day (it was my 2nd attempt in general), something miraculous given the fact that the way I was landing was everything but gracious and that the Regalia ended up being super closer to the wall of rocks, like, 1 metre of separation. PHEW: So close, haha. It was a bit stressful.

2) THE WALK TO PITIOSS

In all honesty, I thought the area before reaching Pitioss entrance would be very tiny, and I was surprised for good when I saw it had a decent amount of terrain to walk.

It would have been scary finding lvl 8x monsters close to the entrance of the dungeon if I wasn’t already almost lvl 90.

It’s nice to just be able to walk around, you can get some photos of the Rock of Ravatogh on other angles. 

Also, there’s a good deal of objects around the area, which is always good, but the best thing is IT HAS A CAMP.

4) INSIDE PITIOSS

This is how I would describe Pitioss shortly: OH MY FREAKING GOD. Buuut I’m not here to talk about it briefly, so here I go.

Pitioss is a dungeon with no explanation for the shit ton of puzzles it has. It’s just the player alone with its wits, challenging the dungeon, trying to figure out everything. The difficulty increases as you advance... but hell if it wasn’t an amazing challenge. Funny fact is, the dungeon title that appears once you enter one, doesn’t appear immediately in Pitioss: you have to do some tasks first.

And well, in this dungeon, everytime you get something right it just feels as if adrenaline and pride is running wild on you. But the thing is you won’t understand some puzzles until you think about them for a while, and you’re going to “die” a lot (did anyone say tons of jumping?). 

Also, the amount of items you can get by doing it is high, and some of the items are really amazing (like the final one, the Black Hood, which makes Noctis automatically evade attacks).

Oh, an awesome thing is that the dungeon it’s divided in areas, and there are respawn points, so if you “die” in area “Y”, you just respawn in a certain point in “Y”, with everything you’ve done intact. It’s just plain relieving.

And now, in the next part, I’m going to talk long about what I think it’s probably the best thing of the dungeon, if not the best.

5) INSIDE PITIOSS: APPEARENCE AND IMAGERY

That aspect just blew my mind, like... Square-Enix did a stunning work with Pitioss. I’m going to explain this in detail because it’s something I’ve overenjoyed.

There’s a black ooze falling from the ceiling and staining most of the dungeon, which looks like the black ooze in Ardyn’s face when he shows his darker side. That alone is already creepy...

But THEN you see the tombstones with faces carved in it on one side and a giant face on the other, surrounded by a glowing red field of energy, and it gets more creepy. And THEN you see the statues of a demon here and there, which adds even more levels of creepiness...

Suddenly, between all that creepiness, you’re seeing in some parts of Pitioss some inoffensive flying little creatures that shine in a soothing blue tone, flying carefree all together. And there’s that giant statue of a man that looks like one of those statues of the old Greece, something majestic presiding the first hall you enter.

And the statue of the woman it’s just beautiful. There’s a theory about it that says it’s the goddess of the dawn, Eos (to me it resembles Cosmos from Dissidia Final Fantasy to be honest), but regardless of who the woman is, and aside from it being gorgeous, there’s a bit of sadness when you get a closer look at her: she is handcuffed, even has a collar around her neck that looks like the ones you would see on a slave or the imprissoned in old times.

Motifs of circles are all around the dungeon too, along with cages, giant metal balls, doors with that classic golden rays stamp, round platforms that look just like the teletransportion nodes of Steyliff and Costlemark... The puzzle that involved that golden, giant rotating sphere made me get a feel of the “Cube” film. And the giant moving “wall” of heated spikes with the giant skull is just freaking IMPRESSIVE in a way that, the first time you see it, you feel powerless and scared.

And if you love lore, you might end Pitioss making yourself question some things... 

6) INSIDE PITIOSS: PUZZLES

The dungeon’s puzzles sure are tricky, even nasty.

You’re greeted at the start with platforms that go down in a corridor that have INCANDESCENT SPIKES, and that’s just the entrance. Later on you’ll have even more spikes and with even more variety: in rotating cilinders, in flat ground/wall, in moving up-and-down platforms, in that freaking giant moving wall with a giant skull on the center... 

Not forgetting the not-so-lovely platforms that moved in certain patterns in a certain area, or the metal ledges and “girders” that look so thin that if you move 1 mm wrong you might just fall.

It took me a bit to understand, by the way, that the round bronze platforms with circle motives in colour (white, red, orange) weren’t teletransportation nodes, but the things that will make you advance by unlocking more parts of the dungeon.

Some of these bronze platforms were hard to hit sometimes, be it because you had to solve other puzzles before, be it because it was jump time. It was easier with puzzles than with jumps. 

With puzzles, well, eventually you get what’s happening, even if it takes you some time. 

With jumps, however, it’s not a matter of understanding, but of doing a good performance... And let’s just say, I’m not the best at it. Some jumps were making me feel dispair, like “I know I can get there by jumping because it’s the only way forward but HOW the hell can someone reach that”.

And probably the thing that was more difficult to me was the one in which you’re basically jumping from stone structure to stone structure, in the dark except for Noctis’ lantern.

The twist is: gravity and perspective work in a VERY random way. You’re just doing jumps you would have sweared were impossible and walking on walls horizontally, only to then find out you don’t have to jump to that structure a bit faraway, but just let Noctis drop, because what seemed going horizontally was just going down.

That puzzle was trippy as heck, and how they changed on purpose the camera perspectives in that level makes it more confusing that if just was gravity messing up with you.

And the thing is, that puzzle lasted for long, and that, along with the fact that we were getting close to 2 PM (our hour of eating), made me pick up a video guide and try to end up by that time. 

7) CONCLUSIONS OF THE DUNGEON

It took me, like, approximately 6h to beat Pitioss, as I told at the start, but it was SO much worth.

I wasn’t sure it would be worth suffering just how much as I’ve read people say, just because of the Black Hood, but what was worth was the challenge itself. 

Even though sometimes raged on the inside and insulted to the air to relieve my frustration (I entered never letting the fact of dying because I jumped wrong an I finished so stressed haha), this dungeon made me feel like a genius when I could understand and resolve most of the puzzles by myself, it made me feel stunned with its amazing visuals, it made me question myself about the lore, and overall, it was downright A-MA-ZING.

Giant flying kudos sent to Square-Enix for making Pitioss’ Ruins. Truly a masterpiece.

... However, that doesn’t mean I’ll come back soon to Pitioss hahaha. 

~ABOUT PITIOSS THEORY~

To finish this wall of incandescent spikes text, I’m going to put the link to the Pitioss’ Ruins theory:

https://www.reddit.com/r/FFXV/comments/5t367b/pitioss_ruins_revelations/?st=j0epe7zf&sh=1111e262

Seriously, give it a look, it’s awesome. There’s so much details in the theory that is just mind-blowing. The story is so freaking tragic I wish the theory was true (or that something close to that would have happened in canon) with all my might... And, to be honest, I could totally see it happening... I just embrace that theory a lot.

As a warning, there’s a mention to the 15 minutes’ gameplay of Gladiolus Episode DLC though! 

Read carefully if you want to avoid what they might say about it... Although I couldn’t resist it and just took a peak — I don’t think it spoils much, in my opinion.

Aaand well, this is!

If anyone is reading this, a big thanks, and have a nice night!

[drippeddaily]

Album of the Year #12: Lil Uzi Vert - Luv is Rage 2

Album of the Year #12: Lil Uzi Vert - Luv is Rage 2

Artist: Lil Uzi Vert

Album: Luv is Rage 2

Listen:

Spotify

Soundcloud

YouTube

Apple Music

Tidal

Background:

Lil Uzi Vert, born Symere Woods on July 31, 1994, is the biggest name to come out of the Philadelphia hip hop scene in some time. Starting to rap in high school, Uzi later attracted the attention of DJ and record producer Don Cannon, who pushed Uzi's name on to DJ Drama. With industry attention and interest, Uzi released his breakout mixtape Luv is Rage in 2015. 2016 continued to raise his star with the release of a pair of successful mixtapes, Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World and The Perfect LUV Tape. While Uzi had been previously successful in the hip hop scene, he broke through commercially in 2016 as well with singles "Money Longer" and "You Was Right", which both charted on the Billboard Hot 100. Uzi's star continued to rise as 2016 turned to 2017, grabbing his first #1 single on the Migos collab "Bad and Boujee". Throughout 2016 and 2017, he continued to tease and hint at a follow-up to Luv is Rage, and in February 2017 Uzi dropped a 4-track EP called Luv is Rage 1.5 to keep fans happy during the wait for the sequel. This EP unexpectedly spawned Uzi's biggest commercial solo single to date in "XO Tour Llif3", which peaked at #7 on the Hot 100 and won the MTV VMA for Song of the Summer. In November, Uzi received his first two Grammy nominations, for Best New Artist and Best Rap Performance for "Bad and Boujee".

Where Uzi separates himself from the pack of a new wave of rappers known as "Soundcloud rap" or more negatively "mumble rap" largely comes in aesthetic. Uzi has prided himself on taking influences primarily from rock music, citing Paramore lead single Hayley Williams as a primary influence as well as shock rock singer Marilyn Manson. Uzi makes his wish to be seen as a rockstar rather than a rapper very known, and it shows through his music and his fashion. Another constant in Uzi's music is his now ex girlfriend Brittany Byrd, who appears in multiple art styles on the album covers to several Uzi projects.

Review:

Luv is Rage 2 was a project a long time coming, and the sequel definitely serves as an expanded upon version of the original project. If the original Luv is Rage was Uzi's Terminator, a well executed breakout project with a lower budget, this album is his T2, expanding upon the original mixtape with a larger soundscape and some big name collaborators. Uzi and Pharrell Williams prove themselves a great combination on the track "Neon Guts", beginning with Pharrell's instantly recognizable four-count intro and letting the two trade bars over a smooth beat outfitted with light keys and a throwback feel. Uzi and Pharrell both sing:

"And I got a colorful aura like I got neon guts"

A simple line, but still effective at describing Uzi's colorful aesthetic that shines throughout the album. The Weeknd also shows up for a collab on "UnFazed", a track made for radio success with a hard trap beat and Abel bringing out a similar effortless rap flow to his highlight verses on Gucci Mane's "Curve" and Bryson Tiller's "Rambo" remix. Ever since "XO Tour Llif3", a collab seemed inevitable, and the end result justified the need for one. English alt-pop band Oh Wonder also shows up for a feature/sample on the moody "The Way Life Goes", a collab that wasn't originally labeled on the album tracklist. On the song's hook, Uzi sings over the voices of Oh Wonder on a sample for their song "Landslide":

"I know it hurts sometimes but you'll get over it / You'll find another life to live / I swear that you'll get over it / I know you're sad and tired / You've got nothing left to give / You'll find another life to live / I know that you'll get over it"

Uzi's singing vocals on the track range from quiet and tired to large and belty, showing a range of emotions that can't be about anyone else but Brittany. Uzi bears it all on the song:

"Wish I never ever ever told you things / I was only only trying to show you things / Iced out heart on your neck trying to froze your ring / I had to get a me a new bitch to hold the pain"

It's real, heartbroken, and despondent. The idea of trying to move on from someone you care about is relatable and Uzi conveys it very well on "The Way Life Goes". The heartbreak of Brittany come up throughout the album, with Uzi breaking down on "Feelings Mutual" with these lines:

"I can't feel, no / I can't feel, I can't feel / I can't feel, my body's numb / It because I am so hurt / I feel the pain in the rain / Tell me when is my time and where"

Uzi captures a specific period in the lifetime of a breakup throughout Luv is Rage 2, a place where you're both bitter and resentful but also sad and regretful. Uzi plays the part of a braggadocio up and coming rap superstar, but also a broken man who misses his ex. While the theme is conveyed before on the project, nowhere is it more on point and devastating then on the closing hit single "XO Tour Llif3". The song is a depressing three-minute rollercoaster, covering the end of his relationship with Brittany, an addiction to Xanax that becomes even sadder in the wake of Lil Peep's death and Uzi's subsequent attempt to go sober, and darker topics like suicide and emptiness. The chorus is iconic and some of Uzi's best songwriting:

"I don't really care if you cry / On the real, you shoulda never lied / Saw the way she looked me in my eyes / She said: "I am not afraid to die." / All my friends are dead / Push me to the edge / All my friends are dead, yeah / Push me to the edge / All my friends are dead, yeah / All my friends are dead, yeah"

So much is conveyed through the hook of "XO Tour Llif3", so much heartbreak and emotion and depression and dark thoughts that many of us can relate to. Logic really tried to get into the head of someone who is thinking about the end, but I think Uzi's attempt really works as a realistic thought process of someone at his lowest. The fact that a song can be this raw and real but also be a high-tempo trap banger will forever prove Post Malone wrong. In the miserable year that 2017 was, we needed an "XO Tour Llif3' to speak to our pain. It's no surprise to me that the song went big. The success of the track also seemed to push the direction of the album in a positive way. Luv is Rage 2 can be a very downbeat listen lyrically, but encourages repeat listens through the catchy hooks and well-done production. Uzi put together a solid producer team for the album including Pharrell, The Weeknd, Metro Boomin, Pi'erre Bourne, WondaGurl, TM88, and frequent collaborators Don Cannon and Maaly Raw. The sound is kept consistent and cohesive, with alot of bubbly trap snares and smooth synths along with the trippy, muddy, almost psychedelic sound that Uzi has used throughout his career. It really feels like an evolution from the original mixtape without being a collection of different songs slapped with a familiar name for the fans. Luv is Rage 2 feels like the step from mixtape Uzi to album Uzi, and it excites me to think of what a guy with the potential he has can do at his peak. Uzi is only 23, he hasn't even pre-came yet in bizarre Kid Cudi terms. He can only go up from here.

Discussion Points:

With the recent death of Lil Peep bringing prescription drug abuse in hip hop to a forefront of discussion, should artists like Uzi who frequently mention such drugs in their music continue to do so? Is there a point where it becomes glorification of such a harmful drug?

Is the success of "XO Tour Llif3" showing a demand for a more raw and barren portrayal of depression in mainstream hip hop? Will "emo rap" eventually be at the forefront of the genre, or is the song a fluke?

What can Uzi do to keep his sound fresh amongst potential imitators? How can Uzi avoid becoming just one of the crowd?

Are Uzi's lyrics about Brittany emotional and resonant, or misogynist and bitter? Can one write personally about heartbreak without resorting to personal attacks on their ex-lover?

How will Uzi be remembered amongst the rap scene of this era? Will he be influential, memorable, or forgotten?

Do Uzi's rockstar influences and persona actually show in his music?

Artist: Lil Uzi VertAlbum: Luv is Rage 2Listen:SpotifySoundcloudYouTubeApple MusicTidalBackground:Lil Uzi Vert, born Symere Woods on July 31, 1994, is the biggest name to come out of the Philadelphia hip hop scene in some time. Starting to rap in high school, Uzi later attracted the attention of DJ and record producer Don Cannon, who pushed Uzi's name on to DJ Drama. With industry attention and interest, Uzi released his breakout mixtape Luv is Rage in 2015. 2016 continued to raise his star with the release of a pair of successful mixtapes, Lil Uzi Vert vs. The World and The Perfect LUV Tape. While Uzi had been previously successful in the hip hop scene, he broke through commercially in 2016 as well with singles "Money Longer" and "You Was Right", which both charted on the Billboard Hot 100. Uzi's star continued to rise as 2016 turned to 2017, grabbing his first #1 single on the Migos collab "Bad and Boujee". Throughout 2016 and 2017, he continued to tease and hint at a follow-up to Luv is Rage, and in February 2017 Uzi dropped a 4-track EP called Luv is Rage 1.5 to keep fans happy during the wait for the sequel. This EP unexpectedly spawned Uzi's biggest commercial solo single to date in "XO Tour Llif3", which peaked at #7 on the Hot 100 and won the MTV VMA for Song of the Summer. In November, Uzi received his first two Grammy nominations, for Best New Artist and Best Rap Performance for "Bad and Boujee".Where Uzi separates himself from the pack of a new wave of rappers known as "Soundcloud rap" or more negatively "mumble rap" largely comes in aesthetic. Uzi has prided himself on taking influences primarily from rock music, citing Paramore lead single Hayley Williams as a primary influence as well as shock rock singer Marilyn Manson. Uzi makes his wish to be seen as a rockstar rather than a rapper very known, and it shows through his music and his fashion. Another constant in Uzi's music is his now ex girlfriend Brittany Byrd, who appears in multiple art styles on the album covers to several Uzi projects.Review:Luv is Rage 2 was a project a long time coming, and the sequel definitely serves as an expanded upon version of the original project. If the original Luv is Rage was Uzi's Terminator, a well executed breakout project with a lower budget, this album is his T2, expanding upon the original mixtape with a larger soundscape and some big name collaborators. Uzi and Pharrell Williams prove themselves a great combination on the track "Neon Guts", beginning with Pharrell's instantly recognizable four-count intro and letting the two trade bars over a smooth beat outfitted with light keys and a throwback feel. Uzi and Pharrell both sing:"And I got a colorful aura like I got neon guts"A simple line, but still effective at describing Uzi's colorful aesthetic that shines throughout the album. The Weeknd also shows up for a collab on "UnFazed", a track made for radio success with a hard trap beat and Abel bringing out a similar effortless rap flow to his highlight verses on Gucci Mane's "Curve" and Bryson Tiller's "Rambo" remix. Ever since "XO Tour Llif3", a collab seemed inevitable, and the end result justified the need for one. English alt-pop band Oh Wonder also shows up for a feature/sample on the moody "The Way Life Goes", a collab that wasn't originally labeled on the album tracklist. On the song's hook, Uzi sings over the voices of Oh Wonder on a sample for their song "Landslide":"I know it hurts sometimes but you'll get over it / You'll find another life to live / I swear that you'll get over it / I know you're sad and tired / You've got nothing left to give / You'll find another life to live / I know that you'll get over it"Uzi's singing vocals on the track range from quiet and tired to large and belty, showing a range of emotions that can't be about anyone else but Brittany. Uzi bears it all on the song:"Wish I never ever ever told you things / I was only only trying to show you things / Iced out heart on your neck trying to froze your ring / I had to get a me a new bitch to hold the pain"It's real, heartbroken, and despondent. The idea of trying to move on from someone you care about is relatable and Uzi conveys it very well on "The Way Life Goes". The heartbreak of Brittany come up throughout the album, with Uzi breaking down on "Feelings Mutual" with these lines:"I can't feel, no / I can't feel, I can't feel / I can't feel, my body's numb / It because I am so hurt / I feel the pain in the rain / Tell me when is my time and where"Uzi captures a specific period in the lifetime of a breakup throughout Luv is Rage 2, a place where you're both bitter and resentful but also sad and regretful. Uzi plays the part of a braggadocio up and coming rap superstar, but also a broken man who misses his ex. While the theme is conveyed before on the project, nowhere is it more on point and devastating then on the closing hit single "XO Tour Llif3". The song is a depressing three-minute rollercoaster, covering the end of his relationship with Brittany, an addiction to Xanax that becomes even sadder in the wake of Lil Peep's death and Uzi's subsequent attempt to go sober, and darker topics like suicide and emptiness. The chorus is iconic and some of Uzi's best songwriting:"I don't really care if you cry / On the real, you shoulda never lied / Saw the way she looked me in my eyes / She said: "I am not afraid to die." / All my friends are dead / Push me to the edge / All my friends are dead, yeah / Push me to the edge / All my friends are dead, yeah / All my friends are dead, yeah"So much is conveyed through the hook of "XO Tour Llif3", so much heartbreak and emotion and depression and dark thoughts that many of us can relate to. Logic really tried to get into the head of someone who is thinking about the end, but I think Uzi's attempt really works as a realistic thought process of someone at his lowest. The fact that a song can be this raw and real but also be a high-tempo trap banger will forever prove Post Malone wrong. In the miserable year that 2017 was, we needed an "XO Tour Llif3' to speak to our pain. It's no surprise to me that the song went big. The success of the track also seemed to push the direction of the album in a positive way. Luv is Rage 2 can be a very downbeat listen lyrically, but encourages repeat listens through the catchy hooks and well-done production. Uzi put together a solid producer team for the album including Pharrell, The Weeknd, Metro Boomin, Pi'erre Bourne, WondaGurl, TM88, and frequent collaborators Don Cannon and Maaly Raw. The sound is kept consistent and cohesive, with alot of bubbly trap snares and smooth synths along with the trippy, muddy, almost psychedelic sound that Uzi has used throughout his career. It really feels like an evolution from the original mixtape without being a collection of different songs slapped with a familiar name for the fans. Luv is Rage 2 feels like the step from mixtape Uzi to album Uzi, and it excites me to think of what a guy with the potential he has can do at his peak. Uzi is only 23, he hasn't even pre-came yet in bizarre Kid Cudi terms. He can only go up from here.Discussion Points:With the recent death of Lil Peep bringing prescription drug abuse in hip hop to a forefront of discussion, should artists like Uzi who frequently mention such drugs in their music continue to do so? Is there a point where it becomes glorification of such a harmful drug?Is the success of "XO Tour Llif3" showing a demand for a more raw and barren portrayal of depression in mainstream hip hop? Will "emo rap" eventually be at the forefront of the genre, or is the song a fluke?What can Uzi do to keep his sound fresh amongst potential imitators? How can Uzi avoid becoming just one of the crowd?Are Uzi's lyrics about Brittany emotional and resonant, or misogynist and bitter? Can one write personally about heartbreak without resorting to personal attacks on their ex-lover?How will Uzi be remembered amongst the rap scene of this era? Will he be influential, memorable, or forgotten?Do Uzi's rockstar influences and persona actually show in his music?

[adambstingus]

5 Real Sex Stories That Will Make You Really Horny (Part VI)

Read the original batch of real sex stories here, the second saucy installment here, the third here, the fourth here, and the fifth here.

1. When a college girl thirsts for her moms new man.

“I was back from schoolfor winter break when I met my moms new boyfriend for the first time. My parents divorced when I was five, so it wasnt like it was traumatic or anything to meet the guy. I didnt expect him to be so damn hot, though. Hes a personal trainer, and fit as hellsix-pack-abs-and-ripped-arms fit, like you see in advertisements for weight loss supplements andgym memberships. When herang the doorbell one night around 6pm looking formy mom, who was out at the time, I decided to playhostess in my comfy but clingy sweats. I invited him inside and poured us each a glass ofwine.

Two hours later,we were two bottles deep andneither of us hadheard frommy mother. I made the first move, touching his knee and then sliding my hand up his inner thigh. When I got to his crotch,he leaned backand said, ‘Fuck it!’ Then he stood up.I stood up too, on the seat of thecouch. Then I jumped into his arms,legs wrapped tightly around his waist andimpressively firm ass. His dick felt so good poking through his pants, rubbing up against my vagina, I knew I couldorgasm from dry humping him just like that. But I wantedhiminside me, so I reached down and grabbed it. We fuckedfastin the laundry room, where we had a view of the driveway in case my mom came back. Most ofour clothes were still on, andwe powered up the washer so it wouldvibratebeneathmeas he pumped and pumped, deeper and deeper. It was the dirtiest thing Ive ever done, andI’d do it again.”

2. Seven minutes in high school heaven.

“Last year, as a junior in high school, I was at a house party in my buddys atticwhile his parents were out of town. We were all boozing, downing whatever beer or liquor we could skim off ourparentswhenthisgirl stopped the music suddenly and announced that it was time to play Seven Minutes In Heaven. Sounds lame, maybe,but there’s not much to do in the burbs. I got tossed in the closet with this average looking girlbut I was okay with it sinceshe had above average tits.

When she explained that she’d never given head before, but wanted to try, I was obviously psyched. I unbuttoned my pants and sat down on thecarpeted floor and she approached my erection with equal partsfascinationand ambition. Shestarted massaging my balls and licking my cock like she wanted it. I swear she mustve watched some Jenna Jameson tutorials online or something because she had skills, man. I couldn’t believe itwas the first blowjob shed ever given. WhenI came, she swallowed it all up like it wasthe bestvanilla milkshake she’d ever had. Then she wiped her mouth withherwrist, and whispered, ‘I’ll be waiting in theguest room after this. Come fuck me when you’re ready.’ If only it were alwaysthat simple.”

3. When gal pal sexting goes to the next level.

“Ive never sexted a guy, like, ever, because my parents used to hammerme nonstopwith stories aboutgirls whose reputations weretotally ruined by naked photo scandals. Thing is, Im addicted to frexting, which is essentially sexting, except you do it witha trusted girlfriend who’s way less likely toshareyour career compromising photos witha thousand of herclosest friends. I love sending my bestiessexy pics and waiting to see how they respond. Ill get a little stoned and put onmy best cleavage-ybra and a matching thong or maybe a silk camisole and boy shorts and sprawl out on my futon and snap til I get a shot worth sending. Then Icaption it with somethingfunny and flirtatiousand wait for my friend to one-up me.

What I never suspected is that things would ever escalate from there. But theother night, instead of hitting me back with a frext, one of mybest friendsbarged rightinto my dorm room, grabbed my ass, and started tonguing me. I squirmed in shock for approximately three-point-five seconds before melting into her rough but tender embrace. Id never experimentedwith a girl and it was weird at certain points, like when our boobs grazed for the first time, butweird in a hot way. When she inchedher headdown between my legs, I was more nervous than I’ve ever been during oral sex. But I relaxed as soon as I realized how amazingit is to be eatenout by someone who understandsvaginasfirsthand. I returned the favor, of course, and I can honestly say I like licking pussy more than sucking dick. I dont think Im bisexual, exactly, butwho knows!”

4. Long lost hook-up buddies meet (and fuck) again.

“The other day I was on Facebook cyberstalking every woman Ive ever slept with because my wife and I separated a month ago and Im pretty psyched to be back on the market, free to fuck whoever I want without any guilt. Tinders great, but sometimes I ache for something a little more familiar. So I messaged this girl I havent seenclothed or nakedin at least ten years, and she hit me back immediately. Turns out she split from her husband a few months back and she was craving some actiontoo.

Thatsame afternoon, I went over to her placewhileher kid was napping. She answered the door with two shots of tequila in handso we could toast our reunion. Then shehugged me, pressing her breasts into my chest, andnodded towards the couch. Without missing a beat, Iscooped her up into my arms and started nibbling on her neck, remembering with each taste of her flesh how great shed been at dirty talking in our twenties. We fucked in the living room, her on top, flicking her own nipples like a pro as she rode me, whispering all sorts of sexy shit in that seductive voice of hers. Fifteen minutes after we both came, she wanted it again, so I gave it to herin the kitchen, from behind this time. After round two, we sipped coffeetogether nakedat her dining tableandscheduled anothermeet-up forthe following week. Im getting hard just thinking about banging her again.”

5. A truly trippy romp in the grass.

“Im not into drugs, but when the guy Id been crushing on for ages asked me to shroom with him second semester senior year,I couldnt say no to a psychedelic experience with the dude of my steamy college dreams. The magic mushrooms were actually rolled into small chocolates, so they seemed pretty innocent, and they werent hard to stomach. After we ate them, we walked to this remote corner of campus with a cooler of beers and some chips to snack on.

By the time we started tripping wed finished a six-pack, so we were good and buzzed. Westripped, clumsily, down to our underwear and rolled around in the grass laughing our faces off for what seemed like an hour before he finally made hismove. When he touched me, it was like a thousand male hands were caressing my flesh all over at once. I felt him massaging my pussy, breasts, neck, and thighs simultaneously. It didnt matter that I was hallucinating. It wasincrediblysexy. I orgasmed three times, seizing with pleasure throughoutevery climax. I didn’t even know I was capable of feeling that unbelievable.”

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/11/22/5-real-sex-stories-that-will-make-you-really-horny-part-vi/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/167751624947

[jude-harley]

mental health wheeeee

i’m going to talk about some mental health stuff, it’s okay if you don’t read, there’s some self harm talk and some friendship drama (i don’t blame them but i still have some feelings and if u think it might apply to you don’t worry i still love and care about you unless you don’t want me to love and care about you in which case i will respectfully maintain my distance) and also i feel like it’s kinda guilt trippy but i literally don’t know so

it’s just alot of me dumping my thoughts and feelings i’m not trying to look a certain way i hope, and i’m not trying to argue anything i don’t know this is just feelings 

but i’d really appreciate it if you like the post if you do read the whole thing

woooooooooooooooooooooooooooow okay so i got some feelings

see, for someone with mental health issues, a fucked up past, and all the shit i’ve gone through, i’m actually doing pretty damn well.

key word: for.

i....... mean, it’s like.

on the outside, i’m doing okay. i have pretty damn good grades (A’s and B’s, even at my super hard school!), i socialize with people, i eat, i sleep, i bathe myself (most of the time.) hell, i haven’t even self harmed! 

well, i don’t know if i’ve self harmed or not, i guess. i don’t really know what counts as self harm. but i haven’t caused any physical damage!!!!! 

and so, so, so many people would tell me i’m lucky. but i can’t help but feel, am i really?

i know that probably sounds incredibly fucking spoiled, but it’s like that one comic about how the broken cup is mended, and the chipped cup is cracked forever.

i’m not kidding when i say that. i internalize everything and trap my feelings and never let them out, but they don’t go away. ever. and then like, i don’t have a standard of what “normal” is, and i wind up suffering and in pair for so long because i just keep going and going and going and going and nobody notices and i think it’s normal because none of my work is affected and i’m still productive and i help other people so nothing must be wrong???

i stayed with my abusive mother for so fucking long because of that mentality

i guess what i’m saying is that the very specific life i’ve lead has cooked up a brain with a very weird.... brain thing. i don’t really think i can call it a mental illness?

see, my mental health so much revolves around other people. i need other people as a reference point for whats okay, it fluctuates based on other people’s opinions of me, i place my self worth on how useful and productive i am, and the main, absolute main reason i’ve stayed alive and never self harmed is because of other people.

but like.... not in a good or healthy way. well, right now, since i’m out of my abusive mom’s household i’m doing better and am trying to stay positive and motivated with things like “you can’t die yet because you haven’t shown your art to the guys who made avatar yet!” i mean, that’s still based around other people’s opinion of me, but at least it’s a more stable goal than appeasing my mother.

like, i swear, the day that she took away my computer, and screamed at me and hit me until i was sobbing in my bathroom, THE ONLY THING stopping me from cutting out of how much i hated myself was that it would make a mess, which was not good or productive.

and it’s just???? been like that for so fucking long???? i know “any reason to not self harm or commit suicide is a good reason” but it doesn’t FEEL like a good reason. i still hate myself so, so, so, so fucking much. i feel genuinely worthless. 

and it’s like.... you know, maybe it would be better if i self harmed? maybe i should? because then maybe someone would care because literally all it fucking takes for me to feel good is someone telling me i do good. that’s...... that’s fucking it.

and yeah i guess this is partially about some shit that happened with an online friend group that resulted in me getting banned from the group chat (i made a hitler joke without thinking, it was along the lines of “don’t kill baby hitler if u travel back in time lol” and spiraled so out of control) and i genuinely feel fucking awful about it. and i’m not angry at them. i’m really not. i guess i just wish that, i dunno.... honestly. i wish i knew how to think and what to do exactly? because i had fucked up without thinking before and i’ve apologized before and said i would get better, and i’ve really been trying, i’ve been trying so hard to get better, but like, they’ve said i haven’t actually gotten better and i do feel really bad and idk i don’t know if i actually have gotten better and they were just angry or if i haven’t improved i dunno

and like the worst part is that i feel like i can’t express that i really am sorry without sounding like a liar and a faker and fucking manipulative and just trying to get it over with (even right now!!!!) because that’s how my mom was and god i feel like even right now i’m making more fucking excuses because i’m just a shitty person like that. i’m so sorry if it is like that don’t feel bad 

but also i guess it’d be nice if when calling me out and shit they had made me feel like less of a despicable person like they literally did say alot of shit like that and i don’t even remeber who did it (there were three times i was called out within the group chat, the first time i really WAS doing something shitty and i needed to be called out and i felt alot.... idk cleaner afterwards and i think i really did improve

the other two times i guess it was really just one guy who’s real name i don’t know and a couple other people (it’s such a blur i can’t remember) who were fairly justified but idk i wish that they weren’t so harsh about it i guess. i mean they didn’t have to be like “what u did wasn’t that bad uwu” but it would have been nice if they had been more like “what u did was shitty, but you can learn from it.” i mean i’m not trying to be passive agressive here this is legit how i feel. also i feel like they didn’t believe me when i apologized and i’m paranoid about being guilt trippy when i talk about my feelings (see: my mother) and i guess this just made it worse because i can’t say that it’s just my mental illness, there’s a strong basis for fact here and every time i feel bad about it i just feel more guilt trippy and it’s a horrible vicious cycle

DISCLAIMER IT IS NOT MY FRIENDS FAULT I STILL LOVE THEM AND I MISS THEM EVERY DAY BUT I WANT TO RESPECT THEIR DESCION TO NOT TALK TO ME ANYMORE

mina, vi, madi, if you are reading this, i am sorry, i really am. you don’t have to forgive me or be friends with me again but i don’t hate you and i don’t want to hurt you. i understand that i might hurt you without meaning to and it’s better for you to be away from me, that’s okay. but i want you to know you aren’t bad people, and i don’t hate you or not like you, and you guys deserve the best stuff in the world.

i dunno, i guess this kinda got off topic. odds are they won’t actually read it, and i still feel guilty trippy and bad. like so so so fucking guilt trippy. i feel fake and like a faker and my moiral hasn’t been online for a while and i really miss her

tldr: i feel like fucking shit and a faker who guilt trips people because i hurt some people and feel about about it and because i manage to remain functional and productive despite my shit and it makes me feel like a faker and also makes me want to self harm because it’s not actually that bad unless i self harm. i don’t actually want to die thank god now that i’m out of my abusive mother’s household but i’m so close to self harming. 

WARNING I TALK A SHIT TON ABOUT DEATH AND SUICIDE AND SELF HARMING

i mean i feel like it wouldn’t hurt if i just. did it once. you know i already get so many intrusive thoughts about hurting myself i could maybe just..... cut myself a couple places on my arms. on my legs. not neat, messy, natural, like i got them in a fight or in an accident. but i guess then nobody would still notice unless i told them but maybe i could tell them 

but if i told them then i would just be a faker, right, cause i don’t actually wanna die. again, literally i don’t want to die because it would be an inconvenience to other people. i have maybe, like, one reason i don’t want to die that isn’t “i’d inconvience other people and make them sad despite the fact that i’m a useless piece of garbage because one, death in general makes people upset, two, i’m leave behind such a mess, not just physically, but with all the paperwork too, and three, people wouldn’t actually miss me all that much, they’d feel sorry for themselves, feel soooooo bad because oh no where did i go wrong, all the bullshit like that.” of course, some people would be more than inconvenienced, my dad, stepmom, sister, pets, and hopefully my two best friends would be heartbroken, but my mom would only mourn for her hypothetical daughter, not her real kid who’s gender is... i don’t even know. probably a boy and a girl. but she’d never accept it. 

anyway, my only reason for living other than what’s stated above is i have to go show the avatar guys my work, and my long term reason for living is making a tv show a la gravity falls that alex hirsch loves so much he guest stars in it and maybe even works on it with me.

so alex, if you go, i go too.

but yeah see if i did that i’d jsut be doing it for attention and everyone would hate me because i’m amking a mockery of a real and serious mental illness. and then if my dad found out i’d be sent to a mental institution for a week (protocol where i live, if your child shows suicidal ideation, send em to the hostipal) and other people would be like, “yeah i’m in cause i took 48 prozacs and then went swimming in a pool of vodka that i not only drank but attempted to drown myself in” and i’d be there like “yeah uh i cut myself once for attention and it was specifically planned out in a place that wouldn’t kill me but would attract just enough attention to get other people to sympathize with me because atm i don’t actually want to die, i just kinda hate myself” and then they’d all hate me cause i’m a fucking faker who’s passing all they’re classes and even did well in most of them and is on track and doesn’t do drugs or have sex or do anything dangerous and i don’t really hate myself and i’m just a fucking leech on resources who think’s they’re depressed BUT THEY ARENT AND I’M JSUT A DFUKCING PIECE OF SHIT

and see i know this would happen because at my local lgbt+ club lots of people think i’m a faker and a prude or maybe they don’t and they see me as 100% mentally healthy or they even envy my life and if i hated myself they’d be like “wtf????? ur life i so good man???? like, only one parent is abusive??? you have good grades???? you handle urself??? you have friends????? you aren’t as bad as me”

and okay maybe they don’t treat me like that and they probably don’t but it’s how i feel. i feel like shit and a faker but why do i want to hurt myself so much but not die that doesn’t make sense

but listen if you get to the end of this, and you are reading this. this isn’t a situation where i’m like, “tell me how awful i am” see because after reading this i guess you get that i hate myself but i don’t hate myself but i hate myself for not hating myself that much 

so if ur reading this and u wanna help yes, yes, validation and positivity and “ur not a horrible person or a faker” would be unbelivabley helpful because like i said i’m very impacted by other people

[well-good-490144139-yahoopa-blog]

I tried this trippy healing modality for mental clarity—and still can’t believe how it made me feel

A few years ago, a friend told me about an underground breathwork circle she’d attended in Venice Beach—back when breathwork outside of yoga studios was still hush-hush.

It was totally trippy and cathartic she told me. People were convulsing, shouting, sobbing uncontrollably. And she couldn’t wait to do it again.

I, on the other hand, instantly filed it under Not My Jam. Sure, I’d done lots of pranayama in yoga class and frequently used deep breathing to quell anxiety, but this sounded like a very different, slightly scary beast. Losing control of my emotions and bodily functions in a group of strangers? Nightmare scenario.

Breathwork, in all its forms, has gained a ton of credibility—and popularity—as a healing tool.

But since then, breathwork, in all its forms, has gained a ton of credibility—and popularity—as a healing tool. In their 2012 book, The Healing Power of the Breath, doctors Richard P. Brown and Patricia L. Gerbarg write: “Studies are revealing that, by changing the patterns of breathing, it is possible to restore balance to the stress response systems, calm an agitated mind, relieve symptoms of anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), improve physical health and endurance, elevate performance, and enhance relationships.”

Practitioners in both New York City (Erin Telford, Emily Mikaelah) and Los Angeles (Ashley Neese, Madeline Giles) are introducing the modality to a new generation of seekers, many of whom swear that it’s freed them from repressed trauma and addiction, enhanced their creativity, and sharpened their intuition.

Plus, these next-gen breathwork priestesses all seem to be bathed in an aura of peace and good vibes—a total contrast to the dark and hellish confab my friend described all those months ago. If I were to breathe like those women, I wondered, would I be serene and glowy like them, too? I took a big breath and decided to find out.

Here’s what happened when I tried breathwork.

Ashley Neese (Photo: Marielle Chua)

Why breathwork?

My odyssey began at Neese’s Silver Lake bungalow. The certified breathwork teacher, energy healer, and yoga instructor has emerged as one of LA’s most in-demand practitioners. I was a little bit nervous, since I had zero idea of what to expect. But her Aquarian-goddess demeanor and the dreamy space she shares with her 11-year-old tabby cat—filled with crystals, sunlight, and the lingering smoke of copal incense—immediately put me at ease.

There are many styles of breathwork—some, like the mind-altering modality of holotropic breathwork, are more intense than others—but Neese’s method is a blend of yogic pranayama and hands-on energy healing. She says stress is a major reason why people seek her out.

“I feel like breathwork is the last house on the block. People are like, ‘I’ve tried therapy; I’ve tried this and that, and I’m still stuck.’”

“Usually what’s underneath [the stress] is a general discomfort with life—‘I’m not fully living how I want to be living; I’m not risking enough; I’m not as creative as I want to be,’” she explains. “I feel like breathwork is the last house on the block. People are like, ‘I’ve tried therapy; I’ve tried this and that, and I’m still stuck.’”

She claims there are major contrasts between group breathwork and doing it one-on-one, and everyone experiences each differently. “In a group, you get that amazing collective energy and you can feed off other people,” she says. “But I’ve also had clients who are overwhelmed by group energy. They come to see me privately, and they’re able to move things differently.” As someone who finds it hard to let loose in group settings, I think I was wise to choose the one-on-one session.

Before she gets into the heavy stuff, Neese typically spends some time teaching clients how to breathe using the diaphragm and abdominal muscles. (Most people take short, shallow breaths into their chests, which causes neck and shoulder tension). In my case, she decided that “Inhale-Exhale 101” wasn’t necessary—thanks to my longtime yoga practice—and we skipped right to the more advanced curriculum.

Inside Neese’s space (Photo: Marielle Chua)

This is where things got crazy

Neese taught me a simple, two-part, open-mouthed pranayama technique, which involved taking a forceful breath down to my diaphragm, then a shallower, yet equally sharp, breath into my chest, followed by a long exhale. She prescribes breathing patterns based on her client’s needs. In my case, since I didn’t have any major issues to address, she selected one that would deep clean my energy field.

Once I got into the groove, Neese had me lay down and hold two fat selenite rods, which she said would help energy move through my body. She put a pillow over my eyes, dabbed aromatic oils on my jaw, chest, and feet, and had me start sending my breath down to my hips. Basically a spa day, right?

As I continued to breathe deeply, the tingling became more and more intense, until eventually, my entire body felt as though it was being gently electrocuted.

Not quite. Within minutes, I could feel my cells humming at a higher frequency, with most of the sensation centered around my jaw and diaphragm. As I continued to breathe deeply (but at a normal rate), the tingling became more and more intense, until eventually, my entire body felt as though it was being gently electrocuted. About 10 minutes in, my jaw completely locked up. My arms and legs turned to concrete. I noticed a heavy sensation at the base of my rib cage, and opened my eyes to make sure Neese’s cat hadn’t jumped on me.

She implored me to start letting out sloppy, primal cries, but I couldn’t manage more than a pathetic whimper. Just when it all reached peak intensity—after about 30 minutes, although it felt more like 10—Neese had me return to a normal breathing pattern with an extended exhale, applied more essential oils, surrounded me with chunks of rose quartz, and placed her hands on my legs and the bottoms of my feet.

It took about 10 more minutes before I was able to move or speak again. I couldn’t unclench my hands to release the selenite, no matter how hard I tried. Normally, this would have sent me into panic mode, but somehow I intuitively knew that I was okay.

So what just happened?

Neese’s breathwork space (Photo: Marielle Chua)

I’m not exaggerating when I say this was one of the most intense physical experiences I’ve ever had—and although it was definitely uncomfortable, it wasn’t wholly unpleasant. So what exactly happened on that table?

According to Neese, I was feeling stagnant energy move through my body. “When you notice heaviness or tension while you’re breathing, it’s your body’s way of showing you where you’re holding throughout the day,” she explains. So what was the heaviness around my diaphragm about? “The solar plexus is all about emotional protection,” she explains. “This is our most vulnerable area and that’s why we tend to tense it up.”

As for my case of lockjaw, Neese suspects it indicates an imbalance in the throat chakra, which governs self-expression. “It’s possible you could be communicating more,” she suggests. Given that I’m allergic to vulnerability and avoid difficult conversations, these assessments were pretty spot-on.

Still, I wanted to know more about the science behind what I experienced. So I asked my doctor, Jeffrey Egler, MD, of Parsley Health, what happens during breathwork from a physiological perspective.

Rapid and deep breathing leads us to release more carbon dioxide from the body than usual, causing the blood to become more alkaline and retain more oxygen.

Essentially, he says, rapid and deep breathing leads us to release more carbon dioxide from the body than usual, causing the blood to become more alkaline and retain more oxygen. “This alkalotic state can cause numbness, tingling, muscle twitching, or spasms if more severe,” he explains. While those side effects are common and not necessarily cause for concern, Dr. Egler says that if you start to notice any kind of change in your cognitive state during breathwork, you should back off. Why? “Hyperventilation tends to also cause vasoconstriction in the brain—when the blood vessels constrict rather than dilate—which may reduce blood flow and oxygen to the brain,” he says.

Photo: Marielle Chua

And the verdict is…

Before our session, Neese told me most of her clients see results instantly, and I absolutely found that to be true.

For one thing, once all the tension dissolved from my body, my drive home was the most delightful rush-hour commute of my life. The setting sun glittering through palm tree branches; the wistful melody of a Local Natives song on my playlist; the grassy sweetness of the iced matcha I picked up en route—my senses were dialed all the way up, and I didn’t need to take any illegal substances to make it happen.

My senses were dialed all the way up, and I didn’t need to take any illegal substances to make it happen.

I was also hit with a massive surge of creative energy about an hour after the session, which, sadly, I hadn’t experienced in a long time. I don’t think the work I produced when I got home was exceptionally good, but I felt a lot more inspired while I was doing it.

Although my initial post-breathwork buzz has worn off, I still feel like something’s shifted—the sun still looks a little brighter; matcha still tastes a little sweeter. I feel more loving toward the people I’m encountering, even strangers. I’m extra enthusiastic about my daily tasks. I’ve been told my skin looks awesome. I didn’t realize I needed healing, but apparently, I got it. And all it took was breathing in and breathing out.

Another route to happiness: microdosing LSD. (Or at least that’s what one writer says.) For a legal mood boost, try these two easy breathwork techniques you can do any time, anywhere.