#this is so specific i feel like a small amount of people will have the same reaction
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This does not have to be a cry of desperation. You do not have to accept the 24/7 deluge of information from for-profit news agencies that want your attention. You do not have to accept despair as the only valid response to the state of the world.
Drastically restricting your news intake is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. Block out a specific amount of time that you are willing to spend on current news, say one hour a week, and mute, block, unsubscribe, etc. from any news sources that you would see passively. During that one hour a week, actively seek out news from trustworthy sources. The rest of the week, if you see something, block it.
During that hour of engagement with the news, when you see something upsetting ask yourself, can I do something concrete and finite that will meaningfully impact this situation?
Not ācan I raise awareness of Xā or āshould I reblog content about Xā. Those are not concrete or finite and 99% of the time they're really just shouting into the void pointless.
Concrete and finite means things like:
Donate to a reputable charity
Vote for a specific candidate
Volunteer with a reputable non-profit
Write to my government representatives
You may need to do some research to find out what your options are.
If you cannot find anything to do about a problem that fits these constraints, then put it in the mental box of "not my circus, not my man-eating tigers" and accept that this problem is not yours to solve.
If there is some act you could take that passes the test of 1) concrete action 2) finite 3) meaningful impact
Then ask āDo I have the resources to do this without causing myself harm?ā
If yes: Do the thing. Put it on your to-do list, check it off, be at peace with yourself. You have done a Good Thing. Reward yourself in some small way.
If no: Do not harm yourself, physically, emotionally, or mentally. Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that right now you are not in a place to tackle this particular problem. That is not a failure on your part. It may be a limitation imposed by an illness and/or disability, or the fact that you are yourself a victim in some way, or simply the fact that you're not wealthy. None of these things are your fault.
Ask yourself if there are things that you can work on instead that would help you develop the resources you need to help others at some point in the future. Focus on improving your own well-being. Learn to put your own oxygen mask on first. Stop setting yourself on fire to keep others warm. Talk to a therapist about creating healthy boundaries.
Whatever choices you make, let go of the fear, the anxiety, the despair, the panic.
Your negative feelings are not improving anyone else's life. Your suffering in and of itself is not benefiting anyone through some metaphysical balance sheet of suffering. Your unhappiness is not changing the world for the better. All it is doing is keeping you paralyzed and exhausted so that you cannot do anything positive.
The only people benefiting from your despair are the ones who want you beaten down and hopeless. Don't let them control you.
And for the other 167 hours a week, ignore the news. Do the things on your to-do list, take care of your home, spend time with your loved ones, work on your hobbies. Plant that pear tree and watch the pears ripen. Get to know a local sheep farmer and go watch the sheep and learn to card and spin their wool. Talk to your neighbors. Be kind.
#advice#politics#the world has always been full of terrible things#all we can do is choose to try and make it better#and know that bad things will still happen#but the good things matter too
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i have made realizations today
#are you fucking kidding me#iām insane#this is so specific i feel like a small amount of people will have the same reaction#but to those who do#ur a real one#narumitsu#itafushi#jjk#ace attorney#IM INSANEEEE#AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME#yuji itadori#megumi fushiguro
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Hello praying people, I'm not doing well and would really appreciate your prayers right now <3
#long very boring and unnecessarily detailed tag monologue incomingā feel free to skip:#this is going to sound like a silly thing to be hitting rock bottom over#but iām fairly certain i have a semi-rare skin condition known as sensitive skin syndrome#which is basically where skin gets progressively more sensitive#until it wonāt tolerate the topical application of anything at all without getting irritated#usually it happens to people on the skin of their face and i have it there but i also specifically have it on my lips#(which apparently is extremely not normal; i found a dermatologistās case study from like 2019 of one woman who had it on her lips#and according to this case study there were no other cases of people having it on their lips#in all the dermatological literature he had read)#i canāt follow the protocol which all the journal articles iāve been able to find say is helpful for the rest of the face which is basicall#leave the area the heck alone for at least a year#because if i donāt apply anything to my lips for more than two or three days they will get so dry they crack and bleed#so itās looking like one way or another i may be having to deal with dry burning irritated lips for the rest of my life#and iām not dealing with the thought of that very well#iāve already suffered so much anguish from extreme sensitivity on the rest of my face#and not being able to take proper care of the skin there#and this is just too much for me#i know God is allowing this for a reason but itās filling me with so much frustration and panic and despair that i donāt know how to go on#but i must and i will#this isnāt a serious or a life-threatening condition but itās looking like a pretty hopeless one and itās hurting me badly#and i would appreciate prayers that it would just be healed or that i would know what to do#i think i will try going to my dermatologist but somehow i doubt she's even heard of sensitive skin syndrome#on a COMPLETELY unrelated note i'm just about to get my period and also for two days i've ''eaten'' nothing but vegetable smoothies#and those in pretty small amounts because they're disgusting#(do a detox my hormonal health doctor said)#(it'll be fun she said)#ok if you read this far you're so brave braver than any u.s. marine etc.#thanks for reading ily <3
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#small vent incoming#mostly bc i dont know where else to get this off my chest#but man. realizing how much it sucks to be someone who rotates fixations really fast compared to most other people#specifically with ocs#i have a ridiculous amount of them compared to most people and i can't control which ones im obsessing over at any given moment#but when the obsession changes#it means i accidentally end up semi-ghosting the previous obsession character and their setting- like. i can still do things casually#but then it sucks feeling like im suddenly unable to put as much wholehearted effort into it as i used to and/or as much as my friends do#like im so sorry my brain is like this. truly i am. i want to continue to enjoy everything we have#but you're gonna have to deal with my activity coming in waves when the spotlight oc inevitably changes every few months#and its not like i don't come back to the others#its a rotation for a reason#but man. idk.#its just super frustrating#i do wonder if its a result of like... going my whole life trying to escape via silly little guys#im just constantly running and whichever new idea pops up that makes me happy in the moment i absolutely dig my claws into#until there's another one#and so on so forth#ack.
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Bumping this older post to say that for the remainder of the month, if you want a pair of these rainbow embroidery bobbin earrings, you can commission me at https://ko-fi.com/tonkai/commissions. DIY charm pieces are still available in the shop if you want to make your own.
[ID: Original image is two similar closeup photos of a pair of earrings, each side featuring three miniature charms in the shape of embroidery thread bobbins dangling from silver colored chains and wrapped up with embroidery thread. The thread colors are a simplified rainbow starting with red down to orange and yellow on the left and purple down to blue then green on the right. The earring set rests on a embroidery hoop covered with black cross stitch fabric. The new photo included shows the same earring set described dangling from the brass screw of an upside down embroidery hoop. End.]
The laser cut pieces came in and they are CUTE! I'll be releasing a small batch of crafted pieces like these earrings and also the charm bobbins themselves for those who want to wrap their own.
#i'm not a cis woman and i know a lot of people assume that#but i also don't feel like i can really even say that outside of tumblr#so anyways#this is the one small way i've decided to celebrate pride#with the small amount of spoons i have left#rainbow only#if you want a specific flag#there's the diy route or i'll be posting a variation of the custom commission at some point down the line#my preferred pronouns are they#i won't get upset if you call me she#however ma'am destroys me#i wish we could abolish gender
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i do also feel like The Pale Beyond holds your hand TOO much in some aspects but not enough in others
#there are parts in the story where literally a popup appears telling you why one of your traits made a character say something to you#and thats something i would MUCH rather like. interpret or figure out on my own. in a story-based game#and also makes like ... makes me feel like i can SEE behind the curtain of the game. that should be secret to me.#let ME think about why someone said something or did or didnt do something. dont TELL me why in a convenient popup#and in some parts of the game doing certain actions seemingly arbitrarily ends the day or is final when i really wish the game was like#just a small sentence telling me what actions are progression-based and what aren't. SOME of them are color-coded but not all#there was one point where the game was like ''you can choose one of these'' and then prompted me to assign someone to something#so i thought *I* could choose one and assign a person to another because a prior event had me do that#and me assigning the person WAS my one action. just wish it was clearer in some aspects in wording its finality.#espectially when it mirrors what the game has taught me prior and then does the opposite of what the expected outcome is#there are certain mechanics that feel unfair where (potential spoilers ahead) you can assign people to the med bay to rest but...#if there's open beds and you forgot to assign someone else into the bay you're out of luck and cant pull up the menu again#like. why cant i? the engineering panel allows me to pull it up again. as does the cooking pot. as does every other panel. why not this one#that specifically just feels like an oversight. that among OTHER things#like special items not proccing twice when they should#there's one item that when warming up freezing crewmates#the engineers will warm 2 instead of 1. but. if you assign two engineers to the task the same time#then they'll only heal 3 people total because the code accounts for the action preformed not the amount of engineers assigned to the action#and if you assign them in succession they'll do it successfully. which is annoying to have to remember and a huge oversight
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" WATASHI WA STAR! "
ā©É You're a fucking star. And they want a taste of it.
cw. MDNI, [SEPERATE] fan (except Nanami) (Toji, Nanami, Choso, Geto) with celeb reader, female implied reader, mild stalking, POC implied reader (specifically African/African American, but not secluded to such), semi-public sex, caught sex, piv, oral (m & f receiving), unprotected, creep tendencies, squirting. (Ps. Not too much on perspective shifts, I low-key was fighting demons trying to stay on 3rd person perspective but I gave up..sorry..)
wc. 6,776
TOJI FUSHIGURO ā backstage pass.
It wasn't every tour you offered such an amazing type of pass for your millions of fans. The back stage pass. You avoided it, you didn't like the idea of people looking at you from behind stage, getting in the way between songs, or even abusing the opportunity. But, when your team pointed out how much money you could make, how this could boost your morale, how could you refuse?
When it was announced that you were offering such a deal, the amount of people who made posts, videos, tweets about it, the amount of people that pleaded in your dm's about you saving them a ticket was overwhelming to say the least. It was mĆØre weeks of the constant buzz about the special pass that was limited to 3 people. The seconds felt like minutes, the minutes felt like hours, the hours felt like days for all the fans who would be coming to your Japan show that was in a couple of weeks.
Launch day was terrifying. The second the tickets went for sale, Ticketmaster crashed from the amount of people trying to fight and pay their way to the special pass. After it was fixed, and the many apologies given from yourself and your team. The first 5 were sold. But so were the 200,000 open seats that very day. Was it record breaking? Nearly, did it break headlines? Definitely.
That was a few weeks ago. Now it's the day of your concert. You weren't nervous, you've done this for years, I mean how could you be? The thing you were slightly anxious about was the 3 fans who'd be backstage with you. They aren't only back stage, they get free food, a meet and greet with you, back stage seats to watch you perform, and they get to listen to your unreleased single before anyone else. What if they were creepy old men who want to hurt you? What if they had a bomb, or gun, and wanted to kill you? Those thoughts ran through your head as someone knocked on your door.
"Y/n? Backstage pass holders are here. It's time for you to greet them." Your manager called through the door*
"Alright, thank you." You shook the nerves and opened your dressing room, following your manager out to the empty foyer except for the single man standing there.
You approached the smiling man. He wore nothing but black, but you could see the small logo of your logo on the left side of his all black shirt, under his leather jacket. It was clearly your merch.
"Hello." You spoke to the man. You studied his face as you spoke. He wasn't half bad looking. He was taller than you, he had well defined muscles under your merch, and he had a scar on his lip. He smirked and looked down at you.
"Hey, princess." He said too casually. You frowned at the nickname, unsure how to feel about it. Your mind didn't like it, but the butterflies that filled your belly proved otherwise.
"Is it just you?" You asked, looking behind him. He chuckled and looked behind and around himself.
"Guess so," he smirked. "Guess it's just you and me backstage." You frowned even more. Damn, now you have to entertain him for the "meet & greet" portion, and after the concert for when he hears your unreleased song. It's going to be a long night.
"Okay, well, thank you for purchasing the backstage pass. You'd be the first to enjoy the luxury." You said plainly, trying to fight the fact the longer he looked at you, the more shy and flustered you felt. Okay, you were lying. This man is hot. You imagined things about him you shouldn't..like how his scar might feel on your-
"princess?" He waved his hand in front of your face, chuckling. "There she is." You blinked and looked up at him. God, why does he have to call you that? It makes you even more flustered and those damn butterflies don't know how to fucking die. Did he even say anything? All you heard or saw was those highly inappropriate and fanciful visions of him and you indulging in- activities.
"I'm sorry, did you say something?" You asked, no longer slightly flustered, but very flustered. He had his phone out and looked at you
"Yeah, I said my name's Toji, can we take a photo for my son?" His tone was a bit snarky and I rolled my eyes. He had a kid? I mean, makes sense, who wouldn't want a man like that to get them preg- damnit what the hell is going on with you?!
"Oh, yeah, sure! Just a photo?"
"Yeah, unless you wanna do a video or something." He said nonchalantly. I shook my head. "no, it's okay." He only chuckled at that and positioned his phone to take a selfie. He wrapped his larger arm around your waist and pulled you close, heads touching. He brought his hand to your left tit and secretly placed his hand on there as if he was innocently trying to hold you close. He took a few more and you pulled away, trying to seem unbothered, but damn did that turn you on.
He put his phone away and smiled. He knew you were flustered. I mean it was obvious by how slightly red your face was, even under all that makeup, your ears were a little red. He could tell from the way your eyes flickered to his body as often, if not more often than he did to you. You bit your lip occasionally, and stared at his longer than necessary. He wanted you, and now he can tell you did too, but he wouldn't admit that. He continued to study your body language, and he then noticed, it was almost too discreet to see, but he knew what he saw. You rubbed your thighs together, and not because of how you stood. He knew he had you. The breath y/n was falling for him. If not that, somewhat into him.
"you okay princess? I hope my company isn't...bothering you." He smirked as he stared you down.
"H-Huh?" You stuttered like a damn fool. God, you're the y/n, why the hell is this nobody making you feel this way. Especially this quick! It's been what, maybe 20 minutes, and you're already thirsting over this stranger! Ugh! Get a fucking grip!
"You've been staring off into space, I'm starting to think all that money I paid to see your cute face was f'r nothing." He teased as he crossed his arms.
"No! No, it wasn't for nothing, I'm just a bit..nervous! Nervous for the show, you know?" You tried to lie. It was so fucking obvious you were lying. You've bragged to the world at how comfortable you were on stage and how when you performed for half a million, you were only nervous that you might slip or fall in the heels you wore, but not from the amount of people looking at you. He knew it was a bold face lie, and he found great joy in your flustered state.
"Hmm, is that so? I guess I see no lie in that." He said, emphasizing the lie part. Damnit, now you were aware of the fact he knew you were lying. He definitely knows you're into him. But you can't be! I mean all those dating rumors, fan theories, I mean hell, what if you lose your following!? You sighed. Fuck...why were you giving in so damn easily? Why was he making you feel like this..I mean all he has is a pretty face! And a pretty body..and voic- fuck!
"Uh..what time is it?" You asked, trying to change the subject from the roaring thoughts filling your mind. He laughed and grabbed your wrist with your watch on it. "Hmmm, I wonder princess. It's almost like you have a watch on your wrist." Of course he'd be sarcastic, of course! Just find every fucking opportunity to make you embarrassed, huh?
"O-Oh.. I knew that." You tried to play it off. It was only 5:30, and your concern starts at 7. You had maybe an hour left with him alone before you had to be brought back into your dressing room to get ready for your concert. He continued his grip on your wrist, and that's when he did it. He pulled you to him. Right in the middle of that empty foyer.
"you know princess, I paid a whopping $2000 for this backstage pass. It wasn't easy getting the pass. And it certainly wasn't easy making sure I was the only one you'd be seeing tonight, so I think I should make it worth the money, don't ya think?" He smirked as he said that inches from your face. "You got a room we can go to? So we can..chat a little?"
You knew exactly what he was insinuating. He had you flush against him. He was whispering lowly in that deep, seductive voice of his. He was luring you in, and it was working. You should be pulling away. His wandering hand down to your ass didn't go unnoticed, yet you didn't pull away. You only nodded and that's how you found yourself bent over on your vanity in your dressing room, hair wrapped manically in his thick fingers as he fucked you from behind, forcing yourself to make eye contact with him.
"yeahhh, that's what 'm fucking talking' about." He growled as he stared at your pretty tear stained face. All that damn expensive makeup you wore just for him to find a game in trying to take it off by tears alone was comical to him. Your legs felt like jelly, and the mean arch you were in was borderline painful, but he hit it so fucking good!
"ah-ah-ah!" You cried as his rough thrusts hit deeper and deeper. Your eyes rolled and crossed and molded into hers as you felt him in your gut. He planned this, that's what's so infuriating about this. He had the condoms ready, the fresh tattoo of your name, small, but visible right above his dick. He had all the right things to say and things to do to get you to the point of letting this- stranger fuck you!
"T-Toj-" he cut you off as he brought his lips to your ear in a mean smile as he stared at your tear-stricken face in the mirror. "Shhhh, princess. Just let me take care of you." He chuckled. His hand that was on your hip was now on your breast, fondling and pulling at the nipple. He moved his other hand from your hair to your neck so he could pull you up, and fuck you like that. God you were so hot. He just wanted you all to his self. For 5 fucking years he wanted you. Yeah, it was creepy, maybe just a little, but he never did anything diabolical! He put posters and pictures of you up in his son's room so he has an excuse to see your face. He always saved your photos, screenshot them from any platform you posted them on and put them into a hidden album. He never missed an album or single released from you. He wished he could travel the world with you to see you at every concert you had, but he wasn't a millionaire.
"Love this pussy, love this body, love this voice, and fuck I love you." Any person in their right mind would find his words creepy, but you weren't in the right mind, you didn't even think you had one at the moment. His words only brought you closer to your release. After a while, he let go of your tit and neck and pulled out. He picked you up like a doll and brought you to the couch in the dressing room. He sat down and had his arms around your legs in a full nelson. He inserted himself and began fucking you like that. He let out the hottest groan you've ever heard and you cried from pleasure in this new position.
"Fuck me!" You whined as he chuckled. He grabbed your jaw and kissed you, nothing but spit and teeth as he fucked up into you. He muttered things no woman would want to hear from a stranger.
"Makin' it real hard not to put a baby into you, just so everyone can know you're mine.. maybe take ya home with me, show you off to my kid..you know he'd love it, right? He wouldn't let you go, oh no he wouldn't. How's that sound? Knock you off this high horse your own and mommify you, domesticate you." No, no, no, he didn't mean that, he couldn't have. But of course, you didn't reply. You brain was mush. All these words did were turn you on to the point you came without letting him know.
"Naughty fuckin' girl. Did I say you could cum? So fucking greedy, don't know what to do with ya." He meanly said. He started rubbing your cunt, continuing to fuck you. "Since you like cumming so much, let's just see how much more you can, princess."
Stupid backstage pass.
NANAMI KENTO ā post premier.
Oh the actor life. Full of filming, premiers, releases, interviews, fame. You were currently one of the highest trending actresses of 2024. Next to Margot Robbie, Zendaya, hell even Anne Hathaway. You had movies, after movies, after shows coming out for a couple of years, and each a rising hit. You were currently at the red carpet of your newest movie. You wore a beautiful black dress that was tight and long. It had a draped back, that showed off your beautifully toned and clear back. The draped part hung low and perfect right above your ass, and your hair was just as pretty. It was a wig that looked stunning on you. It was long, and the curled layers added to the elegance. You were currently resting your hand on your co-star, Kento. He was new to the acting industry, but any movie you were in with any co-star made every actor seem like an A-list actor.
The paparazzi and journalists loved your chemistry the best. Kento was a fine man. Had good morals, spoke nothing but respect and admiration for you at interviews. He had high respect for you in person with the way he looked, spoke, and touched you. He kept his hands to himself, or at respectable places on your body like your arm, which many other co-stars didn't. If he saw your dress was slipping down too much, or the people taking a gazillion photos of you focused on your chest or lower region, he'd cover it up with his hand or body. Those actions didn't go unnoticed by anyone. Everyone praised and fawned over your relationship. It almost seemed like your relationship in the romance movie was...real.
You and Kento soon began to enter the elegant and high class theater, but before, you were pulled gently by him for an interview with a well known journalist for a well known magazine.
"Kento, y/n. Tell us about the dynamics in your movie before it's released to the public." The Australian man asked, more focused on Kento for the moment.
"Well, our characters are from 2 completely different worlds. Y/n's character is lively, fun, not as well off as my character, but she brings joy to the people around her, like in real life. She brings joy everywhere she goes. My character is more reserved, well off, and a bit more modest and stoic. Much more like myself, I prefer to stay out of the spotlight. I think it's a very common trope in most romance movies, but the plot and acting really make our movie stand out, and I'm excited for all to see." Kento said as he looked at me, the journalist and camera.
"And as for you, Y/n?"
You smiled and looked at Kento. "Just as he said, but I'd like to add that our characters may be completely different, but they fit together so well. I think we balanced each other out quite well, and as you will see in the movie when it comes out, the chemistry between them seems almost fanciful. But I think that's what true love should look like." You smiled up at Kento, and the journalist couldn't even tell if you were actually talking about the characters, or yourselves. He smiled, and nodded.
"Well, we're excited to watch your movie when it comes out." You and Kento nodded as well, and waved as you both began to head into the theater. You kept your hands around his arm as you both walked and he leaned down and kissed your exposed shoulder.
"Are you okay?" He asked as he looked at your face. You looked up at him and nodded.
"yes, I'm excited to watch our movie." You softly laughed as you both and many others including other co-stars and the bits team headed into the theater. You saw a few other celebrity friends of yours, and you waved to them, but you never left Kento's side. You both found your seats and sat down. This might be a late to say, but you and Kento were secretly dating. I mean, that type of chemistry in your movie and person wasn't just good friends, it was the chemistry of lovers. Everyone you knew, knew you and Kento were dating, and they all were respectful and quiet about it. I mean it was almost obvious that you both were dating though. He constantly has his hands on you, even though they could be mistaken for a co-star being kind to their other co-stars, you knew he was just being slightly possessive. He kissed your shoulder often, and when paparazzi or journalists/interviewers were out of sight, his hand wandered to your exposed lower back.
You both weren't hiding your relationship, but you also weren't super open about it because it was your relationship. And you wanted it to be strictly your guys', not the world's.
"I'm nervous about the adult scene." He muttered honestly. You laughed and placed your hand on his. He was so cute, it was hard to believe he'd, such a domestic and masculine man could be so cute. You squeezed his hand and reassured him. "Especially since we know what really went down."
You blushed and nodded. Even though the adult scene was fake, you both were into it, and in the real way. Kento did ask once if the padding they wore was necessary, and the body suit you had to wear to keep the movie 17+ and not rated R. They gave you the freedom to do what you pleased in the general sense of 'making love' and not anything more.
"I think it'll be a good trip down memory lane." You smiled. The director of the movie came on the stage in front of the screen, and gave a synopsis and introduction to the movie. He thanked us all and the movie began. Throughout the movie, many of us actors laughed and smiled about the scenes we were in. Ken often smiled and quickly told me about what he did or felt, or reminded me of the bloopers. I smiled and laughed quietly at his remarks. The adult scene came and passed, and you smiled through it all. Soon the movie came to an end and the theater erupted in claps. You and Ken had rehearsed this moment of where after the movie you'd each give your own person thank you or speech. We both got up and he helped me carefully onto the stage and began speaking.
"thank you all who showed up, watched, and enjoyed the movie. Me, Rayna, our co-star and movie team are so thankful for the opportunity to fill this movie. We hope you all enjoyed it, and will continue to." He continued in thanking individuals for a specific thing and I remained silent and had my hand on his lower back as spoke. He then clapped with everyone else when he was done, and looked at you as you began to speak. Of course, you were starting to tear up like you did with every premier. It wasn't an annoyance, and everyone knew they were tears from how proud you were of everyone and how you always have some emotional tie to the movie or show you filmed. This one was different though, because you found a lover through it. For the first time.
"I just want to thank Ken. I mean, I've done movies like his for years, and I've never felt this way for a co-star. He is brilliant, kind, hardworking, and caring, and I wouldn't wish for someone better. This is his first movie, believe it or not, and I'm so proud of him. I'm proud of everyone, but I'm proud of him." Everyone clapped and you laughed as he pulled you into a hug. You cried into the hug and everyone clapped and cheered.
After the premier, you and Kento were in the car on your way back to your house. He wanted to celebrate with you for the movie. There were already good remarks from critics, and the movie is already trending without even being out. You reached your mansion, and entered the cold but warm place. You got out of your dress and into more comfortable clothes. Ken as well.
You both sat on your couch and enjoyed some wine and champagne. You sat there in his shirt and panties. He in a shirt and his dress pants from the evening. You smiled as you both sat there in comfortable silence.
"I'm so proud of you, love." He finally said. His eyes were staring ahead as he took a sip from his glass. "So damn proud of you." He then looked at you and smiled. You smiled back.
"I'm so proud of you. You made this my favorite movie I've ever filmed."
"And you made my first movie the best movie I've ever filmed." He said warmly, setting his glass down, and taking yours from your hand, setting it down. He pulled you into his lap, straddling him, and wrapped his arms around you. He buried his face into your neck and sighed contently. You threaded your fingers in his blonde locks and rested your head on his.
He softly moaned to the feeling of your fingers in his hair, and gently kissed your chest over the shirt. You smiled, and settled further into his lap. He groaned slightly and gripped your hips. "Don't move like that, love, you know it was hard enough to keep myself under control when you were in that dress.
"We're alone now, what's there to hold back?" You smiled mischievously and slowly began to grind on him. He groaned again, and looked up at you, once neat and smooth hair, now messy and fluffy. His eyes bore into yours as he groaned again. You looked down at him and bit your lip with a smile. "What's wrong, ken?" You asked innocently.
He chuckled and shook his head, pulling you down on his clothed cock harder. "You know, y/n, that adult scene gave me ideas." He muttered as he ran his hands over your waist. "How it must feel to just make love..all night." You blushed at his words.
"Y-Yeah?" You stuttered as your face felt warm.
"yeah. I think we should try it again but for real this time." He smirked. "How's that sound, love?"
You felt impossibly warmer. You guys never 'made love' quote on quote. You didn't fuck either.. you guys barely made it past kissing and dry humping, so now he wants to make love. I mean, who were you to refuse.
"I would like that, ken..a lot." You smiled. He smiled back and nodded. He then began to kiss your neck gently, pressing warm but cold and wet kisses to your neck. His hands slipped under his shirt (that you wore) and caressed your soft body. You moved your head to give him more access, and you softly moaned. He gently pulled the shirt over your head, exposing your body, now only in the black panties you chose to wear. He marveled at your body, eyes never leaving your chest. He smiled, and moved his kisses from your neck, to your collarbone and below. He took his time with you. He wanted you to feel his love for you, every single drop. His kisses were deliberate and targeted. His kisses made your tummy heat up, and thighs wanting to close, but his legs which you were sitting on prevented such.
"K-Ken-..more please.." you muttered as your hands gripped his hair tighter. He nodded and gently bit your chest. "As you wish love." He had his hands on your hips as he laid your nearly naked body onto the couch. He slipped off his shirt, and undid his pants, sliding them down. "Tell me what you want, love."
No, no, no.. not this, please. You internally begged. You hated when he did this, you just wanted him to touch you where it hurt, where it begged for him. "Kennn!" You whined. He knew what he was doing! He smirked. That damn smirk that makes you melt and fold in ways no other man has ever gotten you to do. He chuckled and leaned down to kiss your lips. "I'm sorry baby, you know how I am. Tell me what you want, and you'll get it, I promise." He smiled as he almost babied you, which you really didn't mind.
"Mmm, touch me..down there.." you muttered, now feeling shy. He smiled and brought his hands to your lower stomach. "Here?" He smiled. You whined and he chuckled. "You gotta be a little more specific love, there's a lot "down there"."
You huffed and wrapped your legs around his waist. "Kennn! You know where!" He tried to act like he didn't and you groaned. "I wanna feel you in me!" He chuckled and leaned down to kiss your cheek. "Better." He then hooked his fingers into the panties, and pulled them up your legs, you immediately unlocking them from his waist so he could pull them off. He pulled off his boxers as well, his angry tip slapping against his stomach. You looked down at his cock, it was so pretty. You've only seen it once before, but not for something like this. He reached into his wallet which was in his pants pocket and pulled out a condom.
"No." You sat up and grabbed the condom, throwing it away from you both. He looked at you with furrowed brows. "Honey?" He asked confused why you did that. You now felt sheepish but you stayed firm. "I-I want you inside.. I wanna feel all of you."
"Are you sure?" He asked carefully. He was hoping you were sure of what you were implying. He had no problem with it, but it could lead to a longer term issue. A child. You nodded and locked your legs around his waist again. "I'm sure, now please put it in..I just wanna feel you, that's all, please." He couldn't say no to that cute face. Your cute body, he just couldn't. So he lined himself up, and remained hovering over you.
"Take some deep breaths, love." He whispered as he slowly inserted his thick tip. You gasped and held onto him, arms wrapped around his neck and back, nails scratching. He paused and waited till you calmed down before he slowly inserted himself. He was so thick, and long, and God did it feel glorious. When you gave him the okay, it was like a whole new world was opened. You weren't new to sex, you've had a few hookups throughout the years, but they were never this intimate, this intense. Kento cared about you and your well-being over his own pleasure, and to be honest, you think he finds pleasure in your well-being! He grunted as his pace increased and each grunt sent another deep pang of butterflies into your tummy. You moaned and whimpered into his ear at how good he felt. It was so overwhelming that a tear slid down your cheek. No words were said throughout this moment. He kissed your tears and lips. He kissed your nose and cheeks. He loved you, but he wouldn't say it until you did. He didn't wanna scare you off.
He hit so deep, and the mixture of pleasure, and security you felt made it 10x better. "K-Ken- fuck, it's so good, it's so, so, good, please don't stop." You cried as he continued his pace, increasing the speed of it slightly. He felt himself letting go, but he couldn't do it before you, he couldn't.
"sweetheart, you-fuck, you close?" He groaned as he felt himself too close. You whined and nodded. He tapped his shoulder repeatedly as you came and that's all it took for him to come inside. He captured your lips in a kiss as he fucked you both through it. It was too good, too fucking good, and you both felt it. He pulled away slightly to catch his breath and he chuckled.
"I'm hard again."
CHOSO KAMO ā cute stalker.
There you were. Walking through all those paparazzi wannabe's. They wish you looked at them like you did him. They wished you got on your knees for them like you did him. They wanted to be him so bad, your lover. Except, you didn't even know who he was. You never met him, seen him, touched him. It was all in his head. Choso wasn't crazy, he swears he's not. He just likes every photo, video, interview you were in, your account or not. He would constantly buy new phones from himself constantly breaking them from throwing them from seeing you with another man. He wanted you all to his self.
He wasn't crazy, he swears he isn't. He just wants the love of his life all to himself, that's all. I mean how could he not, you were beautiful, and you always look at him, every time you follow him you see him, you smile and wave at him. No you didn't. He follows you and whatever way you look and he happens to be secretly stalking you from, he thinks that's you looking at him. But, you have met, once. At your meet and greet. He was so excited to see you, and he did, but he let something slip out that got him kicked out. He said he'd kill for you. He was dead serious, but he didn't mean he'd ACTUALLY kill FOR YOU! He just meant he'd protect you. But there's been too many cases of celebrities being killed by crazy fans who have the "if I can't have you, no one will" mentality. But he'd never kill you, he wants you for real and not in the afterlife.
So here he was, deliberately walking towards you, pushing past paparazzi, and straight to you. He was nervous. The bouquet in his hands, the chocolate in his other. The large teddy bear with your name on its tummy squeezed tight to his chest, he was ready. But just as he was about to reach you, he was yanked away by a security guard. The security guard threw him into the wall yelling at him to step away. He cried out, and you widened your eyes at the contact. You pushed the security guard away and rushed to him despite the other security stopping you.
"Are you okay?! Why the hell did you do that!?" You asked Chris, and yelled at the security. The security didn't look sorry for hurting Choso, but a bit startled at your yelling. You gently brought your hand to the back of his head which was bleeding from the impact, and frowned. You gathered the flowers that thankfully stayed together, the chocolate, and bear and handed it to him. "I'm so sorry, are you okay?"
He didn't take the gifts and nodded. "Those are for you..and I'm okay.." he was fighting tears, but not from pain, from you being so close to him. His dream girl. You smiled at his words on how those gifts were for you. You looked at the bear and clutched it to your pretty chest, oh the chest that he'd bury his face in for decades. He stared at your pretty face as you talked to him. You were inviting him to eat with you, but all he heard was "bla bla bla, I love you, bla bla bla." He'd probably explode if his head wasn't elsewhere at your invite. You noticed his dazed expression and softly laughed, tapping his cheek.
"hello?" He shook himself out of his fantasy and looked at you when you got his attention. "Do you want to have lunch with me? To apologize for what my security did?" Did he hear you right?! The paparazzi was continuously snapping photos of them, but he didn't care. He nodded and smiled, with your help, stood up. You were slightly shorter than him, and he couldn't help but find you adorable as you held his hand and pulled him into the restaurant you were going to dine in. It was a celebrity restaurant meant for no flash photography or paparazzi in general. You got a table and sat across from him, your security remained at the table next to you.
"I'm really sorry about that, your head is bleeding.." I frowned when I looked at my hand which touched his head a bit ago. He waved you off, too focused on your casual beauty. He knew you weren't wearing makeup, and how cute you looked without it. You let him order whatever he wanted, and you smiled and chatted with him. Each sentence, word, syllable that came out of your mouth made him even more obsessed with you. All those months of following you did not go in vain. It was all worth it. This would be a life lesson to you all who read this, good things comes to those who wait.
You found yourself finding the man kind of..cute? He had this cute purple hue under his eyes, and his 2 spikey buns were adorable. He smiled and was attentive to you, and you couldn't help but enjoy his company. You must have enjoyed it too much, because here you were, in the bathroom of that restaurant sucking him off.
"Aha, y-y/n.." he moaned your name as you licked and sucked his cock. It was so good, so yummy. You enjoyed the feeling of it laying heavy in your mouth. He thought he was dreaming, the delusion finally winning, but no, here he was getting head from his favorite actress. You brought your tits to his cock, and began pushing them together and squeezing his cock with them. He didn't know what to do with his hands. Does he put them on the sink, or does he put them in your hair? You smiled up at him so devilishly that he chose the latter. You stuck your tongue out, and licked his tip with every up and down you made your tits go. Almost like a premature teen, he came over your tits and onto your tongue, chin, collarbone. You continued to stroke him, and licked up his mess.
"Mm, so pretty."
GETO SUGURU ā chauffeur.
You've gone through driver after driver, but they all weren't like Geto. He was your personal driver, went everywhere you did. He knew the routes you liked, he knew how to keep you entertained. He understood you when you complained to him. He was always on time to pick you up and drop you off. He knew how you liked the car you were in, the right temperature, whether you wanted the windows down or not, he also knew what Spotify playlist you'd be into, which was usually your songs. But also, he knew he was in love with you.
He always remained respectful of you, cheeky yes, but never crude or creepy. He complimented you, helped you into the car and out, always saying something about you being a "princess". He loved driving for you. He loved that you loved him driving for you. He knew he was a shoulder for you to cry on, and that's why you usually always confided in him, no matter how long the drive. You also sit in the front more often than not. Most people don't do that, but he makes you feel welcome in the front, and you like sitting in the front.
You soon found yourself way too comfortable with him. He practically was your boyfriend without the touching and title. You told him about your period, your cravings, your needs, desires, wants. You've talked about your body and how you love it or hate it. You complained to him about sexual frustration. It wasn't like you had to tell him any of that, you certainly didn't. You had many friends who you could tell that too instead, but there was something about him that was so inviting. He's also confided in you too. He talked to you about this girl he liked and how he wanted her. He talked to you about his hair and how he's happy you like it long. He's let you even do his hair in long traffic stops. You guys were like lovers without being official.
But you'd be a damn fool to say he wasn't attractive. You found yourself almost excited when he honked the horn every time he waited for you outside, or how upset you'd be when he didn't pick you up and someone else did instead. You found yourself staring at him and imagining how it'd feel for you to grip his hair as he hugged you, or did other activities. You wondered if he would be into hair pulling, or if he'd be into other things. It was inappropriate, it was weird, and it definitely wasn't the cause to the fact you're riding him in the backseat of your limo.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," Geto repeated as you hopped on his dick. You tugged his hair as you rolled your hips and slid up and down his lengthy cock. He captured your left tit into his mouth as his hands remained firm on your lower ribs. You moaned as your legs burned, but the feeling of his cock inside you overpowered all your senses and you prevailed. You never lent up as he has came many times, you just as many. He was completely pussy drunk off of you. Soon enough, he couldn't handle it anymore and came again. You moaned and giggled as he came inside you, you enjoyed the feeling, and your body shivered at it. You continued to grind down fervently. He let out the hottest whimpers and groans as you fucked him dry. You soon came and slowed down to a stop. He held your front to his tightly as he shook from how much he came.
"W-want to taste you.." he shamelessly admitted, pulling you gently off of him, and laid you in the gap between the driver and passenger seats so he could eat you out. He let out a shaky breath as he looked at your soppy, creamy cunt, mixed with his and your juices. He pressed his nose and lips to your cunt and began gently sucking and licking you clean. His tongue slapped up every juice from you. You moaned and your legs shook at the overstimulation. He didn't even realize how good you tasted till he found himself panting as he continued to desperately eat you out. You let out a scream in pleasure and pulled his hair.
"G-Getooo! T-too much~ā”!" He groaned and continued to eat you out. He inserted his middle and ring finger and began fucking you with them. You squealed and he smiled. You tried to push his head away, legs kicking and shaking as you felt your release again.
"S-Sugu-ahhh!" You shook as you came again, your juices sprayed against his face and he let out the hardest groan, cumming himself simply from eating you out. He slowly licked you clean and pulled away, hair a bit wet from you squirting.
"First time you've given me a ride." He chuckled, kissing your thighs.
"it definitely won't be the last."
#toji zenin#jujutsu kaisen toji#fushiguro toji#toji fushiguro#toji x reader#toji smut#toji x black reader#jjk toji#toji x you#nanami x you#kento nanami#jujutsu nanami#nanami smut#nanami kento#jjk nanami#kento nanami x black reader smut#nanami x reader#choso x you#jjk choso kamo#choso x reader#jjk choso#jujutsu kaisen choso#choso kamo#choso kamo smut#geto suguru#geto smut#geto suguru smut#jjk geto#geto x reader#jujutsu geto
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Park Cleanup Pet Peeves
I'll be starting my seasonal gig at Parks and Rec in a couple months and I've got a couple things I wanna say. I know that this will probably not reach the people who need to hear it, but if ONE LESS person leaves the parks a mess, I will be That Much Happier.
-You're not supposed to smoke, drink, or have sex in public parks but I know that people will anyway. But if you are going to do those things, please dispose of the evidence in the trash cans. A human has to pick these things up.
-Dog poop goes in a bag. Bag goes in the trash can.
-The little wax paper liners in the women's room? See you're supposed to put your pad/tampon in that wax paper bag, take the bag out of the bin, and then dispose of it in the actual trash can. Don't feel bad, no one told me either. Also no one told the dudes I work with. But this reduces direct exposure to bodily fluids, especially as the summer gets on and it gets hot in those bathrooms.
-On that subject! The little bins that they go in next to the toilet? Don't stick trash in there. Don't put diapers in there. Also don't put beer cans crushed in such a specific way that I slice my hand on them as I try to jimmy it out of there. Literally, that bin is too small for most things. They are meant specifically for those brown bags. Please for the love of god, throw things in the trash can.
-As for the urinals, please no solids. Most commonly gum and chewed tobacco, but you can use your imagination.
-If you're doing a photo shoot or an event with confetti, please use a paper confetti instead of a plastic one- its easier to get rid of.
-If you're doing a pizza party, we'd rather you stack the pizza boxes in a pile next to the trash can instead of trying to fit them in the trash. Because then we can just throw the trash bag over the top and tie it instead of trying to fish it out. This kind of goes for any big trash- if it won't fit in the trash can easily, don't try.
-Please don't call cops on people sleeping in the parks if they're not bothering anyone. Even if they've been sleeping there all day. Dude's just trying to chill.
-Destruction of the toilets will result in the indefinite locking of the restrooms. You ruined them and now everyone at the softball tournament can blame you for it.
-Parks people are not the police. We are maintenance workers who are not trained to handle most emergencies and the most we can do in any situation is report to the proper department. Please don't look to us for answers if someone is starting a fight.
-Also please don't spit on us for driving on the path. We're permitted to. Its essential for us to drive on the path to do our job.
-please don't abandon animals at the park. Rehome them properly. I spent a whole week trying to catch a rooster last summer.
-look, I get it- 'oh no, your pretty building has writing on it!' Grafitti is so edgy. We get it. But it means Jacob has to sand it off now so that the kids at the birthday party don't see a giant drawing of a weiner. Acts of rebellion that create more work for the working class are not revolutionary.
-please do not set fire to the Tiny Free Library. Why did you do that? That's mean.
-please do not feed bread to ducks and geese. Corn, birdseed, lettuce- those are better for them. If you want to reduce tge amount of goose poop in the parks, shop feeding them bread.
-also do not anger tge geese. They remember what its like to be dinosaurs.
I'll have more later, probably, once the season wears on.
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Love your Tom blyth fics an unhealthy amount!!! Iām picturing reader and Tom being all lovey dovey at the premiers but playing it off as really good bestfriends UNTIL she goes to kiss him on the cheek and in instinct he turns his head to kiss her on the lips so they just say fuck it and hard launch there and then x
"An unplanned situation."
pairing: tom blyth x actress!reader
summary: a small gesture, with a sweet intention, revealed a promising secret.
word count: 1.359!
notes: i started this request in the morning and only had the opportunity to finish it a few minutes ago, forgive me for that, anon! ā i hope you like it and of course, feel free to share ideas with me!
"Y/N, look here!"
Another request, among others, screams and countless flashes, was directed to you; being, theoretically, almost impossible to identify who had demanded your image. ā There were so many voices mixing, not to mention the music in the background, but, you tried your best to pay attention to most of the cameras.
However, it wasn't anything you weren't used to; something that has already been normalized in your life.ā And during the premiere of The ballad of songbirds and snake it was no different, and it was splendid; simply perfect. ā Not to mention, the feeling of gratitude that grew in your chest.
Cameras and cell phones captured your every movement, your poses and the way your perfectly chosen dress was valued and highlighted on your body. ā And how it matched the color palette of the film. ā Everything was being recorded, at the exact moment, posted and commented on all social networks.
You had the opportunity to meet, talk and take photos with some of the cast. ā It was so pleasant, the company and unity that everyone developed during the filming of the film was inexplicable and so adorable; you were grateful to have worked with so many talented people. ā There were some people who were absent, until now, in your eyes, but you would definitely meet them again on the carpet.
And, of course, your eyes roamed the decorated room, matching the elements of the film, and crowded in search of a specific person. ā It wasn't exaggerated words to say that you were starting to feel uncomfortable because he was missed; and the cameras recorded it. ā Silent questions, which would be written, formed in the minds of the presenters and photographers.
Your boyfriend had yet to appear on the red carpet; perhaps he is giving a quick and curious interview or greeting someone. ā That's what was going on in your head.
You and Tom had a secret relationship, ever since you met behind the scenes, in front of the world and all the cameras that may exist in it; something that was so risky and at the same time adventurous. ā And that, as incredible as it might seem, you knew how to disguise it in front of your fans; even though they gradually became suspicious with comments, interactions and behind-the-scenes photos.
They were either smart or you and Tom were too far over the line. ā This question was not important or essential for the moment. ā And you considered each other best friends for interviews or responses to comments; you tried your best.
And so, Rachel sent countless screenshots of tweets, which talked about or mentioned the relationship between you and Tom, to you. ā It's impossible to deny how funny it was.
Persisting in continuing to look for him and for a few seconds, your eyes meet his blue and so charming irises. ā Its shade of blue was a magnificent and beautiful combination; something you would never get tired of admiring. āAnd there was no other thing, or anyone, that could take his eyes off you.
As if the only thing that mattered at that moment was you. ā And everything around him simply disappeared.
"There you are!" ā Tom walked towards you, easily as there weren't so many people on the carpet, and an enthusiastic smile forming on his lips; also accompanied by cameras and intense flashes. ā "And so beautiful!"
Holding a part of your long and dazzling dress so as not to hinder your steps, you met him, and without wasting any time, hugged him. ā A common gesture, and not so different or strange, for the spectators; so, you thought. ā Tom's arms went around your waist, holding your protectively for a little while, while your arms positioned themselves around his neck.
Tom's fragrance, which you liked so much, filled your nose; it felt so good, and you felt your eyes weaken, contaminated by it. ā And the british man was aware of that.
"You look perfect, always." ā The older man distanced himself, just a little, and brought his face closer to your ear, wanting only you to hear. ā "The most beautiful woman that has ever crossed my eyes." ā The lenses probably captured a reddish pigmentation on your cheeks and it was not part of your makeup.
You placed one of your hands on his chest, and looking directly into his eyes; that shone at you, and it wasn't just because of the influence of the lights in your direction. ā Tom's gaze was sincere, and passionate, intensely fascinating you. ā He conveyed what he felt most with just his eyes.
And that was one of the facts about him that you were passionate about and recognized very well.
"Oh, shut up!" ā Raising your hand and resting it a little away from your mouth, you laughed a little embarrassed and looked back at the cameras; remembering that they remained there and you knew that later you would see your interaction with Tom on some social media.
Again, a thing and situation you were used to.
"Look at that camera!" ā A voice mingled among others, which requested the same request, asking you to take some photos together; something that would feed news, fans and press.
At no point, minute or second, did you and Tom remain distant or apart from each other; always a few steps close, hugging each other for photos and certain looks, completely indiscreet. ā Even during brief interviews, as Blyth mentioned you or your character's work, you were silently watching. ā One of the interviewers even commented on how cute she thought it was.
Tom's hand was on your waist, holding and almost covering you, making a quick caress in a few seconds and one of your hands was still resting on his chest; and you continued, of course, to be the focus of the cameras.
Quickly, with the intention of changing your pose and trying something new and also to take advantage of the fact that Blyth's face was almost close to yours, you decide to place your pigmented lips on his cheeks. ā Such a cute and friendly gesture, and so common. āBut, automatically and hastily, Tom turned his face away at the same time, without having in mind what you were, in fact, planning. ā God, it was a shock; an absurd and completely intense shock.
For the first time that night, in that place and on those cameras, your lips touched Tom's lips. ā It was very quick, good and surprising; and that definitely left a cold, freezing air in your belly accompanied by a desperate feeling in your mind. ā Rumor has it that smoke was coming out of his head. ā It was a peck, a quick and simple kiss.
When you separated, hurriedly, your eyes met Tom's once again; who were a little wide-eyed, expressing surprise. ā Looking for something to say or do, just like you. ā And you watched his lips curve into an almost smile, as if he was trapping him.
Shouts of enthusiasm and some possible whistles echoed throughout the immense place, along with some looks and expressions of surprise at what had happened. ā And some people were worried if they had recorded the exact moment, of course. ā Your fans were probably commenting frantically about what happened.
You really didn't know what to do but at no point did you move away from your boyfriend ā now, official to the public ā and keep your hand on his chest; as if it were, in fact, planned.
"A nice way to reveal it, huh?" ā Tom laughed, relaxed and without a feeling of discomfort or uneasiness, he still had his hand on your waist; and he still squeezed you, then leaving you with another caress. ā "I think." ā He didn't look at the cameras, his orbits focused only on you.
They have always focused on you, regardless of what is actually happening; and that will never change.
"A nice way to reveal." ā You repeated your words, but, as an affirmation and certainty; maybe, seeing how relieved Tom was, and not showing some kind of distress, your chest calmed down and you felt safe.
And soon, you and Tom became one of the most talked about topics on social media.
#tom blyth#tom blyth x reader#coriolanus snow#coriolanus#snow#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus snow imagine#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus imagine#the hunger games#the hunger games x reader#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#ballad of songbirds and snakes
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Hello! Someone genuinely trying to understand and perhaps unlearn some reactionary tendencies. With the response to that anon about "not asking if you're a pro or anti", the response about "imagine if they put this much effort into protecting real kids" definitely got me thinking. So... Is an adult shipping children and finding that hot NEVER a red flag? Or is it case by case on seeing how that person handles the distinction between fiction and reality in other things? And bringing the issue of real kids into it, if a real kid who has been abused sees someone shipping kids and finds that a red flag in that person, that... No, no I juicy answered my own question on that one. Block them and cultivate your own experience.
hi there anon, and congrats on trying to unlearn some things! and great job catching yourself at the end there, that's exactly correct.
I will start by saying this right out of the gate: fundamentally, I do not really give a shit about what made up scenarios about fictional characters people are jorking it to in private. I am, first and foremost, interested in how they are interacting with actual, real people.
"but Makenzie are you saying people who look at sexually explicit images of real human kids should be allowed near children?" no I'm not. please note that I was specifically talking about people engaging with fictional characters who are, you know, not real and do not have feelings and therefore cannot actually be hurt, traumatized, abused, etc, in any way that actually matters. I want to be so clear about this: you can genuinely think whatever vile things you want about fictional characters. you can enjoy any problematic shit you want with little guys who don't actually exist.
like, here's an example I use a lot: I'm kind of a huge Batman fan. don't know if you could tell that or not, I'm pretty subtle about it. if you spend any time in the Batman mythos, you know that this is a story where you just kind of have to take for granted that our hero is a billionaire using his vast wealth to dispatch vigilante justice with military grade weaponry and a small army of child soldiers and cop friends to help him put people in prison. these are moral quandaries that are discussed and acknowledged within the story, but fundamentally the universe is always going to involve billionaire vigilantism and child soldiers and the so-called carceral justice system. that's just the price of admission if you're gonna read Batman.
and like. I spend a lot of time in that world. I love Batman, I love his child soldiers. he's my little blorbo or whatever. but like, at no point have I said "yeah, fuck it, preteens should be learning martial arts to fight domestic terrorists, actually. I think Elon Musk SHOULD be allowed to put on a fursuit and beat up criminals. cops need more funding." no amount of Batman comics can make me believe or act on any of those things because, you know, I'm a person with a brain and I know the difference between "thing that makes a good story" and "thing that should actually happen for real."
and the thing is that genuinely, honestly, if someone thought that it was a red flag that I like Batman, and that enjoying Batman comics was somehow a red flag indicating that I'm fine with violence being done against real, actual children? I would think that person was a nut, if I can be super real. like, I'm thinking about somebody trying to make the case that I shouldn't be allowed to hang out with my nephew because I enjoy the fictional character of Robin so clearly I'm going to kill my nephew's parents in front of him to try to get him into vigilante justice. or if someone attempted to bar me from teaching my 4th-6th grade sex ed classes on the grounds that I was obviously going to teach them to do karate to clowns instead of how their reproductive systems worked.
(although, lets be real, there are a lot of politicians who would MUCH rather let little kids cage fight each other than learn anything about safer sex.)
this doesn't just apply to morally bad things, either, btw. I also read a lot of romance novels, especially hetero romances. and the thing is, not one of those books has made me want to fall in love with a ruggedly handsome but condescending straight man. hell, none of them have made me want to fall in love with anybody, period. that's not really something I'm interested in for myself, it's just a fun and frequently funny dynamic to explore. I'm hardly the first queer person to point out that the allegations that queer media "turns kids gay/trans" is obviously bullshit since the vertible mountain of cishet media evidently failed to turn any of us straight/cis, you know?
my point being: no, I genuinely don't think it's often, if ever, reasonable to judge someone's actual, real life morals by how they interact with fiction.
I'm going to say something so vulnerable right now, because we're in a safe space here: since you asked me this very reasonable question, you evidently value my judgment and perspective at least a little bit. and I once read and thoroughly enjoyed a fic in which Dr. Horrible, from Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog, gets fucked by a sapient evil horse. and I don't think that makes me a morally reprehensible person, or a person who advocates for real human beings having real sex with real horses. I think it just makes me kind of a weirdo with a bullshit tolerance.
if you want to hear a MUCH more thorough take on this, complete with addressing the issue of shipping fictional children, I cannot recommend Princess Weekes' video essay enough:
youtube
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WHEREāD ALL THE TIME GO?
CHAPTER ONE
Ö“Ö¶Öø šā¹ Ö“Ö¶Öø new summer , new camp , new people. you were beyond ready to take on the next few months , but you had to get through your first day before that comes.
word count 7.7k
warnings profanity , mentions of underage drinking , sexual innuendos , mentions of a cult.
CAMP JESSAMINE was going to be your permanent summer camp , you decided. just the drive to get to the campground was a perfect time. your best friend , taylor , was with youā with some persuasion , and the weather was perfect. the windows to your car were rolled down , stereo to the highest volume as it pumped out the tune of your favorite songs.
you and taylor were the type of people that listened to very specific songs that would only ever make the best coming of age movie soundtrack. it was something very special to the two of you ; romanticizing your lives through music.
as you turned onto the driveway before the parking lot in front of the administration building , two weeks by grizzly bear was playing. taylor reached over , twisting the volume knob to lower it as she took in your surroundings.
āthis looks much better than skyline ridge did,ā she pointed out , leaning out the open window just a bit.
you laughed at the welcomed diss on your old camp. āi donāt think thatās a tough standard to beat , but i do agree. this is a lot nicer,ā you replied , rolling to a stop in the gravel lot. there were several cars already parkedā some of the staff showing up to help orientation along.
the radio cut silent as you killed the engine before you reached over and grabbed your tote bag. āwe need idās and..?ā taylor trailed off , looking through her own bag.
ājust our id,ā you reassured her, ālets go check in.ā
you both clambered out of your car , not having stood on two feet for several hours. your heart was pounding as you made your way to the front door. it was decorated with a banner above shouting, āwelcome to camp j!ā
with one hand clutching taylorās , you push the door open and step inside. thereās a line of tables with staff members behind them , helping some new staff members sign in and get instructed on where theyād be bunking for the summer. you were silently praying that taylor and you would be close to each other if not paired up.
āhello! welcome on in , guys!ā it was a blonde girl , probably your age , waving you two over. her hair was the perfect amount of curled and flowy for it to look naturally effortless , and her smile was practically blinding you as you walked her way. she looked like the human embodiment of sunshine. āhi , what are your names?ā
āy/n,ā you answered before clarifying, āy/l/n.ā
the blonde didnāt even need to look down at the clipboard in her hands before letting out an excited squeal. āah! youāre my newbie!ā
taylor laughed for a moment before covering her lips with a hand. āand me? taylor mcmahon?ā
āooh , youāre with cleo,ā sarahā if she was wearing the proper name badge, answered with a smile, āsheās one of my best friends. our cabins are actually pretty close to each other , too. sheās probably in the dining hall right now getting our dinner set up for tonight , but iām sure youāll meet her soon. actually , iām almost done for my shift of signing people in , so if you wanted i could bring you guys around. introduce you to cleo and kiara. sheās another one of my friends who works here.ā
while sarah talked and got papers ready , you could feel a good summer coming in your veins. you and taylor were paired up with two best friends and wouldnāt be staying that far a part , and the girl you were paired with seemed plenty nice.
āi think weād love that,ā you smiled back , picking up a pen and filling out the small sheet handed to you. meanwhile , taylorās eyes were elsewhere.
āwho is that?ā without looking up , you know she found a boy to ogle from across the room, āand can he be my newbie?ā
sarah chuckled for only a moment before she cut herself off. āoh,ā she spoke , eyes landing on katherineās latest find. āthatāsāā you didnāt really listen to who it was , focusing on your form to get it out of the way as fast as possible.
any allergies? no. any food allergies? no. any health conditions that require medication? no. favorite color? green. favorite drink? probably coffee? you finished filling the blanks before slipping the branded pen into your pocket.
āhere you go,ā you cleared your throat , handing sarah the slip of paper before picking up your bag from the floor, āanything you need to give me?ā
sarah grinned , noticing you wouldnāt be a newbie newbie , just someone who hadnāt been to camp jessamine before. ājust your name badge , some t-shirts , the cabin key , itinerary , and list of campers!ā it was all handed to you in a packet , badge and lanyard laying on the top of it, ālet me grab taylorās and weāll head over to the cabins.ā
taylor took her own packet and lanyard , slipping the blue loop over her neck with a smile. āyou know what , y/n/n? i think you were right : this will be a good summer.ā her eyes were still trained on the guy at another set of tables.
looking at him now , you could actually scan over him. camp jessamine t-shirt a half size too small , making his arms budge out of the sleeves just a bit ; buzzed hair ; beyond tall ; perfectly tan skin. āyou can have āim , babe,ā taylor started, āiāll take his friend.ā
your eyes shifted ever slightly to the right , taking in the dark skinned boy that just entered the building , immediately going to his friend and dapping him up. āi donāt date guys from camp , tay. thatās like rule number one.ā
āyou guys ready?ā sarahās voice cut through your conversation.
āletās go!ā taylor beamed , hooking her arm in yours.
leading you back outside through a different door , sarah began her tour. āso we were just in admin , and that is the gymnasium,ā she pointed across the way at another bigger building. it had an outside court as well , giving away its title. āover here is the dining hall , so weāll stop in for cleo.ā
she was smiling the whole time , as if this was some paradise , and you couldnāt help but hope thatāll be you next year. āhow long have you been a counselor here?ā you wondered , looking all around you all while following sarah through the grass.
āforever,ā she simply answered, āi think my first actual memory is from this camp. i went every summer growing up ; a lot of us did. the next move was to obviously start working here,ā she continued to explain , slowing her pace just a little for you two to keep up. her eyes noticed how you and taylor were trying to take everything in. āand here we are!ā
ever the welcoming committee , sarah opened the door and let you walk through. āsare , who you got with you today?ā a boy spoke up , heading your way. she quickly kissed him on the lips before āpresentingā you and taylor to the few others in the dining hall.
āy/n , taylor , this is john b , cleo , kiara , and pope,ā she introduced everyone , pointing at each of her friends, āguys , this is y/n and taylor. y/n is my bunk buddy , and cleo you get taylor!ā
āalright , come here , girl! let me check you out,ā cleo hyped taylor up before pulling her in for a hug, āiām not the newbie anymore , yāall.ā the last bit was directed to her friends.
you all laughed at her words , knowing almost all of you had felt that feeling before. āwere yāall headed to the cabins?ā pope had asked , breaking up the chuckles.
āyeah,ā you nodded, āsarah wanted to stop and grab cleo before we settle in.ā as you answered , your eyes took in the group , sizing them up in a way to get your read on them.
āyo! new chicks just came in and they are hot! saw āem with sarah gettingāā two swing doors opened , a guy walking backward through them with boxes in his arms. when he turned and saw the three extra people in the room , he quickly shut up. āhi there! uhā thereās actually like , i donāt know , four other sarahās who work here,ā he lied , stumbling over his words as everyone laughed.
āright , okay. well , thatās jj,ā sarah groaned , clearly unimpressed despite her giggles, āj , this is y/n , my roommate. and this is taylor , cleoās roommate.ā
the blonde swiftly flipped his hat to be facing backwards after putting the boxes down on a table. ānice to meet you , ladies,ā he smirked , reaching his hands out crisscrossed for you to both shake. being polite , you both meet his hands , shaking them with smiles.
ānice to meet you , jj,ā taylor smiled , catching the fact that he was perfectly your type ; catching that fact that you were blissfully aware that he was perfectly your type.
āhi,ā you managed to speak , cheeks flushing bright and ears getting hot, āwell , we gotta goā gotta go get , um , unpacked,ā you stuttered , pointing to the door and stepping away, āsarah?ā
your new friend was grinning ear to ear watching you drown , but she quickly came to your rescue. āsee you guys later,ā she chuckled , coming and grabbing your shoulders before pulling you away. she led you out the front door and to one of the several golf carts. āso that was something.ā sarah couldnāt help herself but laugh a little when you were alone.
āiām going to kill myself if i talk like that all summer,ā you joined in on making fun of yourself, āis everyone that volunteers here that hot?ā you questioned , thinking back to the guy you saw signing people in.
āyeah , thatās a perk for sure. something in the water on the cut made those pogues fine,ā sarah agreed , turning the golf cart on whenever you threw your bags down in the back.
āokay , first of all : whatās the cut? and secondly , whatās a pogue?ā you asked , turning in the seat as sarah took off in the direction of your cabin. neither one of those words seemed too endearing.
sarah looked back at you and took a deep breath. āwell , weāre all from this island : kildare. on said island , thereās the nice neighborhood which we call figure eight. then thereās the not so nice neighborhood which we call the cut,ā she explained as you listened intently, āall of them are from the cut , sparing kie. sheās a born kook.ā
āso if youāre from the cut , youāre a pogue , and if youāre from figure eight , youāre a kook?ā you recalled , still not entirely understanding the classist labels.
āitās dumb , but yeah,ā sarah nodded simply.
you took the answer for what it was and focused ahead of you. you could see the cabins now. they were set in five half circles , three cabins in a group. in front of them was a fairly large fire pit with handfuls of chairs littered around the area.
āwhich one are we in?ā you questioned as sarah slowed to a stop.
āweāre in cabin number six! cleo and taylor are going to be in four , and kie is in five,ā sarah answered , grabbing one of your bags to help you inside.
āthese are nice,ā you gaped , stepping into the cabin. there were six bunk beds , three on either side of the building. a bathroom in the back , and another door next to it.
āour room is back here,ā sarah announced , moving through the cabin towards the last door, āta-da!ā
you set your bags down at the end of the bed that was still available and looked around. sarah had set up her side of the room already , fairy lights across the ceiling , posters on the wall , and her bed all done up.
āokay , these are really , really nice , dude,ā you echoed yourself , amazed at how much more money is clearly put into this camp than your last.
sarah waved you off, āeh , itās whatever,ā she laughed, ājust kidding. itās actually insane how fancy this camp is. even i can admit it.ā
āmy last camp was an actual dumpster fire compared to this,ā you admitted , starting to unravel your bedding to make the room seem homier, āpacked cabins , shitty food , bunch of old people for camp counselors. jessamine is an upgrade.ā sarah sat down on her bed and listened to you with a smile. she liked you already , that wasnāt hard. āand you all seem actually nice too. thatās another perk on top of how hot you guys are,ā you continued with a laugh.
jj. you hated you were still thinking about him. thatās not how you ever want your summers to be. summer flings were not on your list of things to do in your twenties. you wanted to completely focus on yourself and getting to where you wanted to be in life. no blonde surfer boy was going to change that.
āsoā¦ youāre still picturing jj in that pretty , little head of yours,ā sarah read your mind , holding back a cheesy grin when you turned to her.
āi donāt date boys from summer camp,ā you simply said , going back to making your bed. the two of you stayed in silence until you had finished setting up your bed and unpacking. you fell into the mattress with a sigh.
sarahās position on her bed matched yours , completely sprawled out and exhausted. āi feel like this is the first time iāve gotten to just chill in like a week,ā she huffed , staring up at the ceiling.
āyeah , me too,ā you agreed, āme and taylor were on a road trip just before we came here , so iāve been cramped in my jeep for way too long.ā
āwaitā how old are you?ā sarah questioned , sitting up on her elbows to look over at you.
ānineteen. almost twenty,ā you answered , copying her actions, āyou?ā
ātwentyā¦ā she replied with a smile, āwhich means iām no longer the baby of the group , so thank you for that.ā
āitās okay. iām used to it,ā you mused, āyoungest daughter of six. taylor is older than me , and most of the friends iāve ever made have been too. nothing new to me.ā
it was true ; you were quite used to being the ābabyā of whatever group you were around. you grew up that way. as much as you hated it , you did get away with a lot more. such as doing what youāre currently doing. your dad was pissed when he got the email you sent him one morning. it was the day you officially packed all of your things and left home. he had decided you were to be a doctorā what kind? he didnāt care , but a doctor nonetheless. you , however , wanted to travel and experience everything you possibly could while snapping pictures and showing the rest of the world. not exactly an easy thing to come to a compromise on.
that was two years ago.
āwell , i hated it. the guys would make fun of me all of the time,ā sarah laughed now , it not being as sore of a spot for her, ābut that makes taylorā¦ twenty?ā
āāone,ā you finished for her, āsheās like my best friend and big sister all in one.ā
ādonāt you already have five of those?ā sarah recalled , furrowing her perfectly groomed eyebrows.
you looked away for a moment , fairy lights catching your eyes again. ātechnically , but i donāt really think blood is what makes family,ā you shrugged , pushing yourself to sit up entirely, āshow me around some more?ā it was an obvious attempt at changing the subject , but it worked.
āwanna see the ponies?ā
AFTER ABOUT two hours of sarah showing you around the camp grounds , you found yourself back in your cabin. it was nearly three , so you still had some to yourself before the counselorsā meeting started up before dinner.
you hadnāt seen taylor since you split up at the dining hall , so you were by yourself since sarah had to help with some administrative duties. with your free time , you made the decision to start setting out the things you brought for the girls youād be mentoring for the summer.
daisy.
amber.
noah.
celeste.
miranda.
kylie.
the first thing on the list was making the covers for their journals. you had pressed three-d stickers on the front , spelling out all of their names. you set the books down on the dressers , pairing each with a disposable camera and pack of pens.
in the bathroom , you had set up a box of essentials. twelve teenage girls in one cabin? it was needed. you hung up a cuter shower curtain , laid down a better floor mat. you were happy with the way everything looked so far , so you moved back into the living area. you set out the mini projector you brought , coloring books and markers , card and board games , bracelet making kits. you were just making the cabin more lived in with plenty of things to do.
you had your headphones in , listening to your own music while you got everything set up. lost in your own world.
āexcuse me!ā
you jumped , hand clutching your chest as someone pulled one of your headphones from your ear. āholy shit! wow! sorry,ā you breathed out , turning to face the person who disrupted your jam session.
āno , iām sorry,ā he replied with a chuckle, āiām looking for sarah. last i heard she was here , but i guess not.ā
āoh , yeah. she went to admin,ā you answered , pulling the other headphone out and draping the wire across your shoulders, āi can tell her you stopped byā¦ā
ārafe,ā he finished for you , reaching a hand out, āiām sarahās brother. cabin seven.ā
you nodded with a smile , reaching your hand out for him to shake. he took your hand in his , engulfing it entirely. āy/n. sarahās roommate. cabin six,ā you replied, ājust do you know.ā
āwonāt forget it,ā rafe assured you , taking a look around the room, āi like what youāve done to the place,ā he added as he inspected the hanging plant you had hung up.
āi think itās good for campers to live in a cozy place while theyāre away from home,ā you explained it , hands coming behind your back as you rocked back and forth on your feet, āi donāt knowā it might be dumb.ā
ānah,ā he immediately dismissed you. he shook his head and looked at you again with a soft smile, āsācute. see ya around , freshie.ā
your eyes trailed after him as he left the cabin , most likely in search of his sister. āsee ya , vet!ā you called after him , smile still gracing your lips, ājesus , something is in the water around that island.ā somehow , rafe looked even better up close than he did when you first got a glimpse of him earlier.
āso you met rafe?ā
another voice pulled you out of your thoughts this time. taylor. āthank god,ā you sighed , moving to the bedroom and flopping on your now made bed. taylor laughed to herself , following in suit and cuddling up next to you. your arm draped over her stomach , holding your friend close.
āwhatās going on , bug?ā she asked , dragging a loose lock of hair out of your face, ātalk to mama.ā
āi think i miss my sisters?ā you hummed , staring off at the wall lazily, āwhich is ridiculous. most days , i would rather go back to cult skyline , but i donāt know. sarah and i somehow brought that up for a moment , and i havenāt been able to stop thinking about it.ā
āokayā¦ā taylor nodded, ādo you want my advise or or me to just listen?ā god , she knew you so well.
you just sighed deeply , letting all of the air in your lungs leave your body. āi just wanna sit here for a second. take a minute before the kids get her in two days,ā you shrugged.
the two of you laid in bed for a whileā you werenāt sure how much time had passed until your phone started going off to let you know it was nearing five. you groaned , reaching over a sleeping taylor and grabbing your phone to shut your alarm off.
ātay , time for the meeting,ā you spoke , nudging her awake. she groaned , stretching out her body as she came to. āletās go meet everyone else.ā
āyeah , yeah. iām coming,ā she promised , pushing herself up as you did the same.
despite taking the golf cart to the cabin , the walk back over to admin wasnāt all that bad. cleo had met up with you , formally introducing herself to you. it wasnāt long before you were sat around another fire pit the camp had with the rest of the camp leaders.
āall right , everyone! how we doinā?ā the woman still standing clapped her hands together , and you recognized her as marsha , the person you were communicating with before you got to jessamine. everyone applauded , hooting and hollering in excitement. āokay , okay. so to start summer off , i just wanna go over a few rules. i knowā i know , boring rules. boo. however , once i get them out of the way , all of the fun begins soā¦ā
āsheās just like meagan,ā taylor leaned over and whispered to you , referring back to one of the administrators from camp skyline.
you chuckled under your breath before facing back to marsha as she continued. āā¦ no letting kids have sex , no letting kids do drugs or drink alcohol , no letting kids sneak out around camp by themselves in the middle of the night , and finally : absolutely no fraternization between counselors!ā she made it a point to shout the last rule louder than the others, ācameron , maybank , iām looking right at ya both , okay?ā
the boys smirked to themselves , a few other guys patting their backs. you were sat somewhere in between them , getting a chance to look at both. jj was laughing with john b , smacking each other back in forth in argument as to who was the bigger camp slut. they agreed on the blonde.
and rafe , he was with his friends you hadnāt met yet. they were dapping him up , congratulating him on his many conquests over the years.
ānow that weāve all agreed on not fornicating on property , let the games begin!ā marsha smiled, āyou all know how this works. for you newcomers , youāll pick up just fine. get with your cabin mate and check your emails. scavenger hunt beginsā¦ now!ā
everyone shot out of their chairs , finding their partners if they werenāt already sat with them to start the game. when you got to sarah , who was only a few chairs away , she already had her phone pulled out with the email pulled up.
āokay , so this is what we do every year on the first night of camp,ā she started , handing you her phone to look at the list, āwinner gets to have their cabin get their meals before everyone else does for the first two weeks. it actually gets pretty intense.ā
you laughed , handing the phone back to its rightful owner and smiling. āletās win then.ā
āalright! i like you a lot , miss y/n/n,ā sarah replied , bumping your shoulder with hers. she started walking , so you kept up with her. taking advantage of the golf carts , sarah plucked the keys out of the cup holder and started one up. āwe gotta start at the end. marsha thinks we donāt know , but she puts the list in order of location. the further down the list , the further it is from home base.ā
āsounds like weāre going to come out on top then,ā you commented, ādrive faster.ā
āback to the ponies we go,ā sarah nodded , pushing her foot down on the gas pedal.
you sped off , passing several counselors that were on foot , including rafe. he was with the boy from check in that taylor was checking out and another blonde.
āsare , you know that shitās practically cheating,ā rafe yelled at his sister , causing her to slow down to a complete stop.
āreally?ā sarah feigned innocence. her big , brown eyes practically sparkled as she looked at rafe.
you leaned forward to look past sarah and at the guys standing next to your cart. āi donāt think marsha ever said that itās not allowed,ā you chimed in , pretending to think back in time, āso weāre gonna go win real quick , and weāll see ya when weāre passing you in line for dinner.ā
it was almost despicable how sweet your smile was compared to your competitive words. rafe eyed you up and down , not bothering to hide his gaze. āsounds like sarahās already rubbing off on you , sweetheart. better get away from her before it gets worse,ā he joked, āhave you met kelce and topper yet , honey?ā his hand pointed back to his friends , who were impatiently waiting for rafe to shut the hell up.
āno , she hasnāt,ā sarah answered for you, āand also screw you. have fun losing again this year!ā
with that , sarah hit the gas and drove you away from her brother. her hand flew up , waving bye as she laughed along with you. āgod , please donāt take anything that boy says to heart,ā she advised , looking over at you with a serious expression all over her face.
āwhat do you mean?ā
āwellā¦ā she started, āyāknow how marsh called him and jj out for being campās biggest whores? sheās not kidding. i love jj , and i love rafe , but those boys canāt keep it in their pants to save their lives. and theyāll say pretty much whatever to get into someone elseās. that includes sweet talkinā you like rafe was trying to do with his āhoneyā and āsweetheartā and shit,ā she continued explaining, ājust be cautious.ā
you nodded slowly , taking her words as gospel. every summer camp ever has one or two counselors that fuck like rabbits , but it was your luck that you found them both attractive here. good thing you had your one rule. no dating boys from camp.
it was simple and definitive.
it was clear you and sarah were going to finish before the rest of the counselors by the time you got to the last scavenge point on your list. it was at the fire pit by the cabins in plain view. sarah took a quick picture of you standing next to the fire and holding up the medallion that was placed on the bricks. finally , you were able to hop on the golf cart and head to home base.
āso thereās this party the counselors do every first night of camp , and i think you should come,ā sarah spoke up as you steered your way passed the others.
āthereās not a party on the itinerary,ā you replied , already having the next few days memorized.
she laughed at you gently , patting your thigh. ābabe , itās not exactly something marsha knows about,ā she explained, āitās , like , a right of passage for the leaders to get drunk off their asses before the kids come. i mean , we usually have kick backs on the weekends , but this welcoming party is much different.ā
ādifferent how?ā you asked , furrowing your eyebrows, āpartyās a party.ā
āwell , itās bigger. every single leader comes to it. hangouts on the weekends are usually split up amongst us and our little groups , so this one is the party.ā
āyeah , sure. i mean , it would be dumb to miss out on it,ā you chuckled with a shrug , pulling up to the administrative office you had been in hours and hours ago.
the blonde let out an excited squeal , yanking you into a hug before hopping off the cart and running into the building. you stayed still , waiting for her to come back out. āfirst in line , baby!ā she shouted , raising her fists into the air as soon as she stepped out the door.
you cheered and laughed with her , turning the golf cart off and getting out. āi love you , sarah cameron,ā you confessed , pulling her into a hug.
it was only one day , and you were convinced she might be your person. she had divulged you into all of her stories and drama and didnāt feel the need to hide anything from you so far. she gave you space when you wanted it earlier. she was good. āi love you too,ā she replied with a smile, ālets go gloat!ā
AFTER SARAH rubbed the win in her brotherās face , while you stayed back and watched it , you met up with the pogues. thankfully , taylor was still with cleo. you immediately pulled her to the side.
āokay , youāre pulling me,ā she grumbled , stepping along with you.
āthereās a party tonight,ā you stated.
āyeah , thereās one every year. they were just telling me about it,ā taylor shrugged, āwe going?ā
āwell , yeah , but on top of that rafe was flirting with me,ā you blurted out , cheeks rosy from the thought of the interaction before and after the game.
taylor nodded slowly , glancing back at your new friends before looking in your eyes. āwhat about jj āperfect for youā maybank?ā she asked , nodding to the blonde boy , who was trying to wrestle with cleo.
āno , no. thatās the point. i donāt want anything to do with either of them,ā you groaned , dropping your head back for a moment, āso i need you to cockblock if anything happens.ā
āall summer? why donāt you just put on a frickinā chasity belt?ā taylor whined.
you rolled your eyes. ājust for tonight. hopefully , rafe will catch on , and leave me alone. as for jj , iāll just be his friend.ā
ājust lead him on?ā taylor corrected you, āhe was already bothering me about you. asking me all sorts of questions.ā there was a smile in her words , trying to push you to go for it like she always did when it came to the cute boys at camp.
ānot happening,ā you simply stated , shaking your head, ājust cockblock this once , and iāll , like , suck your dick or something. i donāt know , just help me. because my roommateās brother giving me slutty eyes and smiles the three times iāve met him is not on my agenda , taylor. especially after sarah told me heās kind of a douchebag.ā
āokay , okay. youāre so uptight,ā taylor agreed, āand now that you mention it , cleo and kiara were saying the same sort of things ābout him , so fine. iāll cockblock.ā
just as you two finished up , jj called out to you. āladies , cāmon! dinner time!ā he waved you both over. taylor sent you a look before jogging to catch up with the rest of the group. you headed that way , noticing jj stayed behind in wait. āi see congratulations are in order,ā he smiled at you , walking in step with you.
āit was all sarah , really,ā you smiled coyly.
he was cute. taylor was right about that. his unruly blonde hair shoved under a beat up , red cap. combat boots pires with a cut off tee. you hated that you were so obviously eyeing him. even more when he said something again.
āyou can take a picture you know.ā there was a smile evident on your face , eyes gentle as he looked at you like you looked at him.
you just blushed , walking a little faster. ādinner smells good!ā you commented , opening the door and rushing in to find sarah or taylor.
you all went through the line , shoving yourself in between the girls so jj couldnāt talk to you. sarah and kiara led you to a table , and you were able to eat. you didnāt even realize how hungry you were until you were sat down.
ācleo , i think iām in love with you,ā you groaned , taking another bit of the sandwich.
āgirl , this is nothing,ā kie cut in, āyou shouldāve been here last year. she went all out!ā
āi was trying to make a good first impression,ā cleo shrugged with a smile , like her cooking skills were mediocre and not something youād dreamt of before.
āsoā¦ā john b started, ātaylor told me you guys used to go to some camp in tennessee?ā his question was directed at you.
you nodded , covering your mouth as you swallowed the oversize bite you just took. āmmhm,ā you hummed, āskyline ridge.ā you answered.
āhow come you came here?ā pope asked this time.
āturns out it was a baby cult,ā you admitted , feeling your ears turn hot at the statement. it was kind of embarrassing how you didnāt realize until after. but whoās to blame you? you were a kid. ālike , it wasnāt obvious until you left , you know?ā
ākinda like the kooks!ā jj pointed out with his fork.
taylor shook her head, āno , it was a little more established than your classist island drama , jj.ā
āyeah , it was bad , but who cares? weāre here now,ā you smiled simply.
soon enough , you all finished your meals and split up yet again to get ready for the not-so-secret secret party. sarah and you were alone again , trading clothes and trying to find a good outfit for each other.
āhey , so i know we just met and all,ā sarah began , shyly twist a skirt in her hands, ābut i could tell there was something bothering you when we were getting dinner. everything okay?ā
god , she was so sweet.
you paused , adjusting the shirt you had switched into before looking at her. ātaylorās convinced i should get a boyfriend this summer. specifically jj , and iām just , i donāt know , thatās just not for me.ā
she nodded , perching on the edge of her bed. āwhy not?ā it was an innocent question.
āi donāt stay in one place too long ever. i think summer camp is the only place iāll stick around for longer than a few weeks,ā you answered , sitting on your bed to face her. clothes were scattered around the both of you , but your eyes locked and it was all left behind. āever since i ran away , i havenāt stopped to look back. thereās no reason. i travel the world and do my own thing. boys just drag ya down,ā you think you explained it well enough.
āi think the right boy could lift you up , if you let him,ā sarah philosophied with a sneaky smile, āon that note , iām gonna go meet up with john b. iāll see you at the party , y/n/n.ā
you waved goodbye , watching her walk out the back door and skipping over to cabin eight. you took a deep breath , mulling over all of the options your friends had been giving you all day.
by yourself , you finished getting ready. to be completely honest , you didnāt know if you wanted to go as much anymore. it was dark , and you didnāt know your way through these woods enough to go alone. you could easily just cozy up in bed and read a book.
a knock at the door pulled you out of your thoughts. you rushed over , opening the wooden slab as you poked your earring through its hole. when the door opened , it revealed none other than rafe. āhey,ā he greeted you , waiting for you to invite him in before he moved. he watched as you put another earring in.
āhi,ā you replied , moving to the side to let him come in away from the bugs, ālooking for sarah?ā
he let out a chuckle , nodding his head. āyeahā¦ she said sheād go on a beer run with me,ā he explained , shoving his hands into his pockets after closing the door.
āshe left for the lake , like , twenty minutes ago,ā you grimaced , continuing to get ready while rafe stood in the cabin area. you shrugged on a crocheted cardigan and stood in front of him. āhow do i look for my first party?ā
his deep blue eyes scanned over your figure , taking their time to drink you in. your legs were exposed as you wore a pair of shorts you obviously cut yourself. the bralette-esque top sarah let you borrow covered hardly anything. the cardigan was your saving grace for any modicum of modesty. his fingers found his lips , rubbing them almost in an attempt to physically stop any nasty comments from flying out.
āyou look real good , freshie,ā rafe complimented you, āuhā iāll let you get to the party. see ya,ā he stammered out , reaching for the door handle.
āoh , well i can go with ya. since sarah ditched you,ā you offered up , promptly getting him to stop opening the door. you donāt know what changed in the last minute for you to go from wanting to stay in for the night to wanting to join the camp whore on a beer run , but it was already offered.
āif you wanna. i mean , itās just a beer run , so it shouldnāt take long,ā rafe nodded, āiāll have you back to your little pogues in no time.ā
āyou guys and your kooks and pogues,ā you rolled your eyes , running back into your room to grab your phone and camera, āyou do realize youāre all nobodies outside of that little island , right?ā you questioned him , brushing past his body to slip out the door.
āyou wouldnāt understand,ā rafe sighed , following you outside before taking the lead to his truck.
ātry me,ā you pressed. you were walking passed everyoneā going against the grain. you both waved to a few of the people who said hello first , and then your eyes lock on jjās.
he was walking with pope and kiara , but his eyes were trained on your movements and who you were with. and you donāt know why , but your heart actually stung a little bit when you saw him tear his eyes away from you , going back to talking to his friends like nothing happened.
nothing did happen.
itās a beer run with a fellow camp leader. big deal.
āso?ā you nudged rafe with your elbow, āwhatās this big thing between kooks and pogues my tiny mind just donāt understand!ā you were being theatrical , and rafe chuckled a little bit before shoving you a little in the direction of his truck that came into view.
āitās always been that way. the island was always the rich and the poor,ā he began to explain, ābut i think right now is the most polarized itās ever been. i mean , weāre getting into fights all of the time. jj got arrested for sinking topperās boat a couple of years ago! itās all eye for an eye back home.ā
rafe stopped to open the passenger door for you before moving around and climbing behind the wheel. you buckled up and looked at him. āyou know that saying though?ā
āhmm?ā he hummed.
āif itās always eye for an eye , eventually everyone is blind?ā you mused , waiting for him to pick up on it.
āokay,ā he rolled his eyes now, āyou donāt get it.ā
āno! hey , donāt pout,ā you pointed at him when he focused more on the roads than the conversation , which usually youād be grateful for a responsible driver , but you can only assume he usually isnāt. āitās not me making fun of you as much as it is telling you there is a big , big world out there that doesnāt give a damn if your from the cut or the loop or whatever the fuck you call it.ā
āfigure eight,ā he corrected you , fixing his pouty lips into a smile as he glanced at you again.
āwhateverā do you have a fake? if not , i do , so we can get the beers,ā you changed the subject.
and he laughed at you. ābaby , i donāt need a fake id.ā
āoh , well , okay. how old are you?ā you stuttered at the nickname. what was with this man and terms of endearment?
ātwenty-three.ā he leaned over and gave you the biggest , toothiest smile.
āold man,ā you scoffed , pushing his head away from you, āyou should be old enough to realize thatāā
āthat the stupid generational rivalry is pointless. yeah , yeah,ā he finished for you, ājust let me buy you some drinks for the party and be happy about it,ā he joked.
āoh , i donāt drink,ā you shook your head.
thatās what got him to look at you fully. āshitā sorry , i didnāt mean to offend you. itās just , i donāt know , you offered to come with me , so i guess i just assumed,ā he rambled off as you started giggling.
his brows furrowed in confusion , not understanding what was funny or why you were laughing at him. āiām kidding , ray,ā you laughed , patting his head gently, āof course i drink. why else would i have a fake , doofus?ā
with the relief that you werenāt actually making fun of him , rafe was able to laugh along with you. he did take notice of the nickname you gave him , though. āray,ā he whispered.
ālike sunshine , ya know? itās an oxymoron,ā you explained, āand it could easily be an actual nickname for you , so itās perfect.ā
āray like sunshine,ā rafe echoed with a nod, āhow exactly is that an oxymoron?ā
you looked at him with a sly smile. āyouāre not exactly cheery.ā
āuh uh!ā he argued back, āi can be cheery as fuck!ā
you let out a belly laugh , tilting your head back , and rafe thinks heās met his maker when you do. āi would looooove to see you be anything but flirty with me or grouchy with sarah. truly , iād enjoy it,ā you remarked , shifting your seat a little.
āthereās a lot you havenāt seen from me yet,ā rafe remarked , proving your point of only ever being cheeky or grumpy.
āexhibit a,ā you pointed, āiām gonna start keeping count.ā the two of you chuckled as he pulled into the parking lot ( of what you assume is ) the closest liquor store to camp.
ācāmon , honey. youāre mrs. rafe cameron if anyone asks,ā he included you in his little scheme as if it was a necessity to this beer run. he hopped out of the truck , opening your door once again for you to slide out and land on the ground. āafter you,ā he smiled , opening the businessā door.
āokay , my ray of sunshine husband,ā you playfully scrunch your nose , walking into the store. he was already trying to be āsunshineyā after your comment.
you paused when you stepped in , waiting for rafe to drag you through the store as youād never been. āfollow me,ā he simply said , grabbing your hand like heād done it all his life , like you werenāt two total strangers. it was that moment that made you realize you were starting to break your own rules. well , maybe you didnāt realize it realize it , but in the back of your head? you did.
he lead the way to the back cooler , stepping inside and grabbing a case of beer and one of the seltzers. āyou want anything specific?ā he looked over to you , seeing you standing in the door way , holding yourself tight at the temperature change. ācāmere,ā he gestured to himself and opened his arm.
despite yourself , you moved quickly to him and snuggled into his side. his hand ran up and down your arm , trying to warm you up. āgrab whatever you want , and weāll get outta here.ā
your hand reached for a case of ciders , but you paused to look up at him for approval. he nodded and grabbed it before you could and ushered you out of the cooler.
āid please,ā the cashier spoke monotonously , looking at you and rafe like you were idiots.
āmarco , i literally come here every year. we have this conversation every year,ā rafe groaned , digging in his pocket for his wallet.
āand up until two years ago , you were just another jessamine shit head underage drinking,ā marco joked , nodding to you, āid , hon.ā
āohāā you started , but rafe cut you off.
āhey , sheās good,ā he nodded , sending marco a message you couldnāt quite read yet, āmrs. cameron isnāt old enough yet. sheās just along for the ride. right , baby?ā he continued with his lie , wrapping his arm around you again and squeezing you tight.
marco rolled his eyes , knowing rafe was going to slip him a crisp if he just processed the purchase. āhave a good night , yāall,ā he grumbled. you muttered a small reply , waving meekly as rafe set a hundred dollar bill on the counter. he tapped it once before grabbing the cases of drinks.
you held the door open for him this time , seeing as his arms were full. āmālady,ā you jested , even bowing before him as he walked through the exit with a scoff.
āshut up,ā he chuckled , shaking his head. he set the drinks in the back seat and opened your door. āgit on up,ā he tapped your back before closing the doorā only after making sure nothing of yours was in the way.
rafe wasnāt too sure why he was being all gentlemanly with you. maybe it was because he wanted to prove you wrong when you said he was just a flirt or a grouch. maybe itās the way you were someone that didnāt know him yet , and he could be someone else for once.
hell , wasnāt that what summer was for?
the drive back was calm. you and rafe just chatted , asking each other questions and really listening to the other oneās answers.
you couldnāt help but think to yourself that maybe everyone else had got it wrong. rafe had depth. you listened to the way he talked about his work , his aspirations , his ideologies. he wasnāt just some camp whore you were so easily labeling him earlier.
āyou know what , hubby?ā you hummed , hand out the window , surfing the air. your head was rested against the seat , but you turn to look at him with a smile on your face.
āwhat ever is on your mind , dear?ā he replied , goofy smile matching yours as did his tone. the ongoing joke between you two made you giggle before continuing.
āi think you might be one of the most complex people i have ever met,ā you confessed genuinely , sweetly almost. and like it wasnāt the best , most heartfelt compliment anyone had ever given rafe , you turned forward again , closing your eyes to just feel the wind passing you by.
rafe held back a grin to himself , mimicking you and just focusing on the road to give you a quiet rest of the ride back. the peaceful kind of quiet rafe didnāt even believe existed.
a/n here it is! please let me know if you hate it or love it or have ideas!!! also: tea me posting this earlier than i expected:)
taglist @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @viennafantasies @cnnamongrl @embersfae @enchantingexile @urbrunettebombshell @wearemadeofstardust0 @psychicnatural @ecstqzy @ssqra @st4rkeyl0ver @shincidios @xoxo-ada @lmaolmaos @lilyhyperfixates @courta13
#Ö“Ö¶Öø šā¹ Ö“Ö¶Öø whereād all the time go?#rafe cameron#rafe outer banks#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron smut#rafe x you#jj maybank#jj maybank smut#jj maybank imagine#outer banks au#obx au#summer camp au#jj maybank x you#jj maybank x reader#outerbanks jj#jj outer banks#outer banks jj#jj x reader#outer banks rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe fanfic#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx
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how to write a sympathy card
so someone you know recently lost a loved one and you would like to extend your sympathy, but you have no idea what to say. here are some ideas to get the juices flowing. i did not even try to keep this short, so i've broken it up into four sections: general advice, what to include, some example cards i've written, and takeaways.
general advice
first, if you're reading this i'll assume that you have decided to express your sympathy in some way and just don't know how. the thing about doing this is it will always feel inadequate. it will often feel very awkward. you may be worried that everything you say sounds weirdly insincere even if it isn't. i'm here to tell you that that is all okay and normal and to be expected. i've written a lot of sympathy cards and afterwards i've never been like "wow, i nailed it!" and yet i've gotten a lot of comments from people thanking me for showing up even when all i did was send a measly insufficient card, because most people don't do that. it will mean something to the person that you did it at all, even if it's not perfect.
should you send your sympathy in a card or some other method? if you never send mail, if you don't have their address, if you don't even own stamps, maybe sending a card is not for you. but everything below also applies to an email you could send. i personally prefer a card because i like the physicality; it's something they can keep and look at later if they want to, and it's a way of showing a small amount of deliberation and care (i went to the store and picked this out; i sat down and handwrote this). more importantly, i feel like there's less pressure to respond to a card than an email, and a phone call can be overwhelming to someone who is already dealing with a lot of shit, while a card is just there whenever they feel up to looking at it. but that is entirely my own perspective; there are differences culturally as well as personally. you should do what makes sense for you.
do think about what you're trying to accomplish by sending this card. you may not be able to make things better, but you are certainly trying not to make things harder. one example of this might be: if your friend has just lost her mother, you might have a lot of complicated feelings about this that aren't really about your friend or her mother specifically (you also have a mother!), and that's natural and okay, but those feelings would perhaps be best to share with other friends of yours who didn't just lose their mother. another example: it's okay to be worried about your friend and how they're doing, but try not to imply that they owe you updates or that they're causing you a lot of stress by not keeping you in the loop. (of course, if they are instead sharing more with you than you can handle, it's important to set boundaries around that! though probably not through the mechanism of a sympathy card.)
it is okay to keep it really short and generic. again, i think just the act of thinking to get a card, getting a card, writing something in it, and mailing it already means something regardless of what is written in it. if you feel overwhelmed trying to figure out what to say, it is okay to keep it to "I'm thinking of you in this difficult time. I'm so sorry for your loss." i also sometimes add "I don't know what to say, except that [I'm thinking of you, etc.]."
one thing i've learned that makes this harder is that you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. you may be thinking, "i also lost a parent, so i know how it feels," but you only know how you felt about it. there are infinite ways to feel about losing someone, including:
sadness for the deceased, that their life is over
sadness for themself, that the deceased is gone
sadness for the other people who lost the deceased
fear of their own mortality
fear of dying in the same way
fear of how their life is going to change without the deceased
relief that the deceased is no longer suffering
relief that their caretaking duties are over
relief that the deceased can no longer mistreat them
anger at the deceased for dying or for not doing something before they died
anger at god
anger at others/self for contributing to their death or not saving them
overwhelm from all the logistical things there are to deal with when someone dies
overwhelm from all the emotions
confusion at their own reaction
guilt for outliving the deceased
guilt for not feeling sadder or for feeling other things in addition to sadness (or for being numb/in shock)
this is an incomplete list!!!
i try not to project onto my friend or put words in their mouth, because it can be very isolating to be told how other people think you should feel if that's not exactly how you feel. because you're sending them a sympathy card, there is some baseline assumption that there is something to feel sympathy about. but beyond that i try to be careful not to get super specific about how "you must be feeling" or how hard "this must be". generally i try to avoid the word "must" because it implies that there is a certain way this is supposed to go, when there isn't.
if i know that they are struggling in some way but haven't talked to them much about it, i personally usually feel okay saying "Loss is hard" or "It's hard to lose someone", which might seem similar to "This must be hard", but avoids the word "must" and the direct reference to their situation ("loss" in general vs. "the particular instance of loss you are experiencing"). if i don't know much at all about how they're doing, i might say "Loss can be hard", which presumes even less, or i might not directly mention the difficulty of loss at all.
but also, it's okay to be more specific and personalized if you have been in contact with your friend as they've been processing the situation. it's good to acknowledge specific feelings that they've told you about, but try to also leave room for other feelings and/or ways their feelings might have changed.
what to include
here are some categories of sentiments you may want to include (all optional!):
thinking of you: even though it's kind of self-evident that you're thinking about them, this is something that is always appropriate to say and always nice to hear. examples: You're in my thoughts. I'm thinking of you often.
wishing you comfort/support: comfort and support are very safe things to wish somebody because they don't assume anything very specific about how they're feeling, and they express care for their wellbeing without putting pressure on them to be fine. I hope you can find moments of comfort in the coming days. I hope you're feeling supported by friends and family.
sorry for your loss: this is one of those things everyone knows is a stock phrase, but it's the kind of stock phrase that imo actually communicates something, so i do generally use it. I'm so sorry for your loss.
my heart goes out to you: this stock phrase is a little iffier, meaning it can be kind of a toss-up on whether or not it will sound insincere. it might depend on how close you are to the person. use your discretion. again, even things that sound insincere to you can still mean a lot to the recipient. My heart goes out to you. My heart is with you.
i'm here for you: offer logistical and/or emotional support if you want to and if you're reasonably sure that you could provide it. if you're able to be specific, that can be very helpful; one thing that can be overwhelming in the aftermath of a loss is dealing with lots of people wanting to help and having to come up with ways for them to do that. Please reach out anytime if it would help to talk about it. If you ever need to be distracted, I'm good at that! I'd love to bring over some food/help out with chores and errands; I'll text you to see if that would be helpful and not disruptive.
prayers: if you and the recipient are both religious/spiritual and it feels right to say, you could say "I'm keeping you in my prayers" or similar, in addition to or in lieu of "I'm thinking of you." if you are religious but the recipient isn't (or you're not sure if they are), i suggest not saying this, but use your judgment. some people don't mind hearing that someone is praying for them even if they don't believe in prayer and may in fact expect you to say it if you are known as someone who often expresses care through prayer, but for others, this can be actively offensive. i would say when in doubt, stick to "thoughts" instead of "prayers". You're in my prayers. I'm praying for you.
there are many ways to grieve: this one is harder to describe, but i like to include something that validates whatever the recipient may be feeling, despite not knowing how the recipient is feeling. the downside of a card is that it's not in real time, so you really have no way of knowing how your friend is feeling when they read it, even if you talked to them previously and know how they were feeling during that conversation. so i like to, in addition to not assuming any particular emotions, make space for the fact that their emotions may be shifting in ways that are confusing or distressing. but you have to be kind of vague about it, because you don't even know if that's happening. I hope you have the space to grieve in whatever way you need to/is meaningful for you. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you.
you may want to express your own grief over the loss of this person, if you knew them. i think this can be comforting for the recipient to hear, but i suggest keeping it brief and not overwrought. the last thing you want is for your friend to feel they have to manage your emotions in addition to their own. if you can, do the below instead of or in addition to this.
now i will share my LIFE HACK!! for the very best thing to put in a sympathy card. this will not always be possible, because it relies upon a) you yourself having a relationship with the deceased (which is not always the case) and b) you being able to remember things (which i often cannot, especially when i'm sad). but if you can, i highly suggest something along the lines of the following.
say what you will remember the deceased for. (I will remember them for their wry sense of humor. I will remember them as a compassionate/driven/curious person.)
give an example of a memory you have of them in which they exemplified that characteristic.
if you can't do both, it's also good to do just one and not the other. if you have a favorite memory but it's too hard to think of adjectives to attribute to them, just share the memory. if you tend to think of them as [positive adjective] but no specific evidence is coming to mind, that's okay, this isn't a debate. in general it is comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.
example cards
i will now give some examples of cards i've written. these all feel really awkward and inadequate to me, and you can see i didn't always stick to my own advice! but they were all deeply appreciated.
[to my coworker. i didn't have much detail except knowing her dad had been in the hospital a lot, and she was sad that he died]
I was so sorry to hear about your father. It seems like the last few years have been hard on your family, and loss is especially hard. I hope you are able to take the time you need to be with your family and cherish your memories of him together.
[to my friend's mother after the passing of her husband. i knew from talking to my friend that her mom was struggling especially with outliving him, because she was sick and had expected for a long time to die before him]
I'm thinking about you and [friend's name] a lot. I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing someone is so hard. Adjusting to their absence is, too. I hope that you're finding moment of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. He will be missed. I will remember him for his wry sense of humor; I still have a "card" from him on my fridge (he cut out a sample "thank you" card greeting that said "The smallest good deed is better than the grandest intention" from a list of things to write in different kinds of cards (a sample message for a "Get Well Soon" card was on the back, crossed out) and simply added my name at the top and his name at the bottom. It's one of my favorite pieces of mail I've ever received and it's been on my fridge for many years). I am so sorry that he's gone. You are in my thoughts and my heart goes out to you.
[to my close friend and her husband i don't know as well, after a late-term abortion for a baby they had been very excited to raise. in this case i knew some of my friend's feelings, but not her husband's, and while i knew that many things about the pregnancy had been hard (lots of waiting for test results about the viability of the fetus, for one thing), i didn't want to imply that the decision to abort was hard, because my friend said it wasn't]
I'm thinking of you both lots. I'm so sorry for the loss of your baby. It sounds like it's been a difficult and fraught process, and I hope you're getting space and time to grieve and to come to terms with the loss. I hope you're getting whatever kind of support you need. If there's anything I can do to help, whether logistical or emotional, please let me know. I would love to be of service to you. I wish I knew what to say. You've just had such a fantastically shitty year. I do believe that things will get lighter for you both, and I hope that happens soon. Take care, and know you are cherished.
[to my grandmother after the loss of her estranged brother, when i was extremely unsure how she was feeling about it and had my own complicated emotions]
I just wanted to send you a card to say I'm thinking of you. Mom let me know about Uncle [name]. I know things had been strained for many years and I haven't seen him in a long time, but I'm sorry to hear that he's passed. I hope that you and [grandmother's sister] are able to reminisce in whatever way feels appropriate and meaningful to you. I'm not sure what else to say, other than I'm thinking of you, I love you, and I'm sorry. It was really nice to see you at [family member's] graduation the other day. The next time we're together, I look forward to giving you such a big hug! I feel very lucky to be your granddaughter and to have you in my life.
[to my grandmother after the loss of my 38yo cousin, which was hitting me really hard]
I don't know what to say, but I just wanted to tell you that my heart goes out to you and that I'm thinking of you, and [cousin], and [uncle], and [father], every day. It's so hard to lose someone, and I'm so sorry for your loss. My grief is a strange animal that sneaks up on me at the strangest times. I hope you are finding moments of comfort and feeling supported by friends and family. I'm looking forward to the day when I can hug you in person.
[to my close friend on the loss of her father after a long illness. she had been leaning on me for support, as another person who has lost someone after a long illness]
I'm thinking about you lots. I hope you're getting through this time in whatever way is best for you. Loss is hard even when you know it's coming and even when you get to say goodbye. I hope you are finding comfort and feeling how loved you are. He was a special person, and I'm so sorry he's left you. I know part of him will live on in you and the other people who learned from and admired him. It's still so hard to lose him, and grief is a strange animal. Take care. Reach out anytime. I love you so much.
takeaways
it will probably feel inadequate to you, but chances are it will still be appreciated.
remember that though you may not be able to make things better, you are trying not to make things harder.
it is okay to keep it really short and generic.
you cannot assume you know how anyone else feels. there are many ways to grieve. that said, it's nice to acknowledge any specific feelings your friend has expressed to you, while also leaving room for other feelings you may not know about.
if you want to offer support, it can help a lot to be specific in how you are able and willing to help.
it is usually comforting to people to know that they are not the only ones who will remember their lost loved one.
even if you do it awkwardly, just the act of reaching out is meaningful! people don't know you're thinking about them unless you tell them.
and remember to take care of yourself, too! watching friends lose loved ones can be hard for you as well for a variety of reasons. reach out to other friends for support when you need it.
#grief#support#cards#my posts#long post#unfortunately this has been very relevant this year#i dug this out of drafts because a friend just lost her mom after losing her dad earlier this year. and then her unborn child#what a shitty year she has had. what do you even say? well past me had some advice about this
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Momentous Entropy (Yujin x Male Reader)
Yujin x Male Reader
Warning: Smut, 7k+ words
The door accelerated open, showing a peek of a small dorm. Yujinās head popped out from the doorās side, her face entirely shaped by a beautiful smileā eyes morphed into two crescent moons facing downwards.Ā
Despite her giggling shyness, she stopped hiding behind the door. She welcomed me in, still with a brilliant smile, āWelcome Professor Eunwoo! Welcome to my dorm.āĀ
āI know itās small compared to your penthouse or whatever you were talking about with your coworkers, but itās great for deep, focused work.ā She snuck in the stalker-level information in between two welcoming remarks.
āThanks for welcoming me here.. Wait.. What?ā I only caught the intrusion mid-sentence.
She knew I heard herāword for word. It was mutualistic to not ruin the moment with heedless questions in the specifics, weād forgotten whatever we talked about a moment ago; rather, focusing on each other's faces.
Of course, I would never let her know. Itās an apprenticeship after all, Iād be brought down with all the academic reputation I have if I even considered anything remotely intimate.
As I entered her dorm, I noticed something unusual. She wore a formal skirt with a white shirt and even her hair seemed to have been carefully molded for a grueling amount of time. Why did she dress up so vibrantly even though all she wore outside were casual clothes? Of course, I would never look her up and down, that would be a grave mistake, my peripheral vision was enough, my imagination did the rest.
I looked away immediately when my imagination went onto a wholly inappropriate tangent, instead I appreciated the clean place, clean of a single speck, the wallpaper matted with a freshness that couldnāt be faked with a single day of cleaning; the nice smell loomed over the place, something flowery, something inherently feminine, I was beginning to feel out of place.Ā
Thereās something poetic about a beautiful person being a beautiful human being as well, though I used two synonyms to describe something inherently different, Iām sure you get what Iām saying. She was good-looking, diligent, smart, clean, the list goes on and on. Sometimes attractive people have some of the most vapid, vanitous, vain lives; sometimes, itās refreshing to see someone just so contrary to that common belief.
I was walking slowly while she went to her room to set up, I paced my steps to not seem awkward by standing too still or pacing around her entire dorm.Ā
She came out of the door, her eyes were not morphed by a smile, rather two large pupils akin to a labrador stared straight at me.
Some peopleās stares immediately make you uncomfortable, angry even, their voided personality that can only be filled with continued staring. Yujin was rather supplemented by the stare, her intense rich inner-life always apparent, her natural charisma exuding throughout.
The thought was broken when Yujin said, āMr. Eunwoo, before we get started, I know you forget some of the essential parts of life, like breakfast.ā She swiftly went to the countertop, opening some cupboard and pulling out an already-prepared breakfast.
āWhy do you have a full meal in the cupboard?ā I was completely stumped, there is never anything consistent with Yujin.
āI donāt know, just in case, you know, if you tried to stop me from serving you breakfast.ā
āWhy do you want to serve me breakfast in the first place? This is inappropriate. Wholly.ā
āPlease!~ Just try it!ā Her eyes glistened, displaying how determined she was to get me to taste it.ā
I obliged her for once. The breakfast was great, it was just too foreign, everything was opposite of what Iāve lived on; familiarity lied in the dusty libraries, the cramped, yet cozy study rooms, the decrepit dorms. Yet, Iāve gotten too successful, my quality as an academic has deteriorated too quickly, the distracting throes of fame, money, power however unattractive were always pushed onto me by those I used to hold close. Iāve resented success for however long Iāve held it, never has it ever contributed to my learning.
Yet, could this be an aspect of success? An attractive young lady, serving breakfast, serving a jet black coffee with enough caffeine to sedate rather than stimulate. Hold on, how does she-
āHow do you know my coffee preference?ā I asked, again, alarmed.
āThatāsāum, I donāt know, based on my deduction, you know, like your disheveled appearance, I just assumed you lived off of caffeine.ā A smile formed again, this time, a smile of victory over me, a rare enough event for a celebration.
āYouād be right.ā Slightly, I scoffed at her remark, gladly sipping the bitter coffee.
Just like that, she already made me feel welcome, warmed up to the most foreign of places.
How could she do that? Is it on purpose? I canāt just ignore the influence she has over me, even if she is a student and I, a professor. Iāve always fought, fought and fought for everything, everything; the simplest of things failed at least a dozen times. Do you understand the disparity of it all? From failing at least a hundred times to now, an empathetic kindness, a warm smile greeting me regularly. Iām aware the description is akin to describing a drug, an addiction, Iām completely aware of it, and Iām desperate. Desperate for this continued exchange, and thatās why I willingly, so perpendicularly of my nature, succumb.
When I snap back to reality, the calm environment filled my sensory world. The white walls are furnished with small plants attached to the wall. I looked back at the kitchen, to check if Yujin was still thereāshe had planted her elbows on the countertop that I was sitting at, on the other side, her chin held up by her two fists, her cheeks were slightly squished and she was staring directly into my eyes.
āWhatāre you doing?ā I ask.
āNothing. You were so focused on that wall, I just thought itād be interesting to stare at you.ā Thatās right, sheās also adept at mocking.
āAlright. Alright you brat, letās get on with it. Where did we leave off last time?ā
āSomething about an assessment for me to continue being your apprentice.ā
āRight. Right, I remember.ā
āYou donāt even carry around notes? For your āapprenticeā?ā
āDonāt need toā
āOk, well, follow me, youāre gonna have to sit cross-legged on the floor.ā
āFine by me, lead the way.ā
āTired or sitting on gold-plated chairs, Mr. Eunwoooo?ā Though her teasing was getting a little obnoxious, maybe the first-time visit to her dorm has her more anxious.
I scoffed at the reply, and followed to sit next to her on the coffee table, with enough distance as to make our apprenticeship obvious.
As do all our sessions, it starts cold, detached, at least compared to the end. Near the end, it becomes a warm haze, a studious discourse turns into something enjoyable, something that genuinely complements your life beneficially.
Thatās also a reason why I continue to speak to Yujin. These unforeseen, unconsidered degrees of freedom had gone out of control, and inevitably, the attachment I had to being an academic was on its last string, its last stitch.
Only a fixation, a continued mutualistic companionship with Yujin has seemed to crutch my skill. And, Iām willing to go against all my morals to continue it.
It can be easily inferred that Iād let Yujin pass with flying colors to be my apprentice. Hiding it, though, is an entirely different story that Iād have to consider deeply through the assessment.
Of course, thereās always an optimism to expect in the radius of Yujin, the soft carpet, the flimsy coffee table.Ā
Despite this, the assessment was rough, she was missing questions on purpose, and I couldnāt call her out for it because I was purposely trying to modify it in a way that she was always somewhat correct; in academia, this was enough, more than enough, even ground-breaking. But, this wasnāt even close to enough for Yujin, she was already suspicious of my bullshittery and in the 5th question, a free-response that Iād modified. She frowned deeply, her eyes glistened in a sort of sadness.
She spoke with disappointment, mostly with herself, āWhy are you trying to make me pass? Itās obvious that the answers that I have are completely wrong, I can tell in the glint of your eyes.ā
In order to trick Yujin, Iād have to have a near perfect systemāa small gear falling out was all it took for Yujin to catch it.Ā
āBefore you freak out, these are questions for my PHD students, youāre a freshman, of course Iād have to modify it.ā
āBut why are you teaching me, an undergrad, instead of your usual PHD students?ā
āHuh?ā I was stumped, she was as intelligent as a fox.
Her eyes were melancholic, dark with a sort of sadness, disappointment.
āWhy do you teach me?ā She added on, then continued, āall your students did nearly the same thing as I did to gain some sort of favor, perhaps I tried slightly harder. I guess I argued with you a little more, challenged your authority, but anyone that did that was swiftly punished by you. I guess I was more insistent to be taught but you shoved off anyone that did that, except me. Why me? Youāre not doing it for the money, you have plenty of it and I donāt have any. This doesnāt progress your career as well, youāre teaching a freshman about something thatās so ingrained that you donāt need notes for it.ā Slowly her deduction processed what she was saying, and she was getting dangerously close to the answer.
Iād have to go on a tangent to another reason.
āI donāt know, maybe that youāre particularly bright, and I mean it, I know you feel like an idiot sometimes; itāll never be as bad as how I felt it, god, if I was half as smart as you are when I was a freshman, I mightāve found the philosopherās stone by now.ā
āYouāre so bad at giving compliments.ā She laughed into her forearms that went to wipe her not-yet flowing tears.Ā
āI mean it.ā I replied quickly.
āNo you donātā
āIf I tried to do an apprenticeship with my freshman self Iād be on death row the second day.ā
It seemed to brighten the mood, she laughed harder, and.... and cried harder into her knees.
Confused by the contradiction of her actions, I just looked away, trying to offer some measure of comfort by just being present.
āIām sorry, when I sta-start crying I just canāt stop.ā
Even when sheās crying, a torrent of emotions pouring out, I don't feel uncomfortable.
āIām here, Yujin, Iāll wait.ā
āThank you, Mr. Eunwoo-hick-itās not your fault, I just feel extra emotional these daysā¦ā
Everytime she tried to continue with the assessment, her tears seemed to continue flowing, albeit a little slower.
āHold my hand Mr. Eunwoo.ā
āWhat?ā
She sniffled, āJust hold it, itāll help me stop crying.ā
āAlright, alright.ā I said as calmly as possible, not saying anymore, grasping her hand tightly.
She was snifflingānot cryingābeside me, the distance that we had had closed a little. To say this was a foreign experience was an understatement, a relevant example would be to compare it to would be: a cat in zero gravity, Iād recommend watching some videos of it.
Yet I didnāt feel any reflexive reaction to this novel experience, I only held harder and felt ever-present in the experience
Suddenly, she whimpered, her hand reflexively moved.
ļæ½ļæ½Ow, sorry, Iām not yet used to the tight grip.ā She softly said.
āIām so sorry.ā
āNo, no, I like it, continue.ā Her head finally seemed to release from her damp forearms, her eyes were slightly red.Ā
As I grasped her hand to a firm level, she put her head on the couch seat, her hair slightly splaying out, her eyes looking at the ceiling.
She whispered, āI know you like me.ā
āI-ā A flourish of heat went straight to my face, everything seemed to be burning down today.
āI like you too.ā She continued.
āPlease, think about what youāre saying.ā I sputtered out, trying to adjust her projected advance.
āI canāt hide it anymore, I just canāt. Iām delicate, I have my heart on my sleeveā¦ but Iāve never been so sure of itānothing else has ever made me feel this way: no friend, no family member, no passion. You can continue saying that Iām naive, that itās my first time, that itāll passā¦ā Her words start becoming a jumble, as if all that she wanted to get out in a short manner wasnāt enough, as if all that crying was because of what she had to say.
She continued, āI know youāre a professional, that no matter what I say, youāll decline, even if you liked me. I had to cry because of it, not because I was getting things wrong, I could care less about thatā¦ It was the fact that I can no longer handle admiring you from afar, I had to vocalize my appreciation, even if it was all for naught.ā
After a brief silence, she continued, āI just had to get this off my chest, even if you despise me now, even if you run away now.āĀ
She looked away, expecting me to walk away while giving her a stare of pure hatred.
She was still looking at the ceiling, trying to prevent more tears from flowing down. I leaned my head back on the couch seat and looked at the ceiling.
āI love you.ā I finally said, shaky with a risky determination.
āWhat?āĀ
āI love you.ā
Her hand gripped tightly, her hands were noticeably shaking.
āWhat now?ā She stuttered out.
āI donāt fucking know.ā I sighedāsighing deeper than Iāve ever sighedāI also felt an immense pressure release from something grabbing me from within.
āWhy donāt we go ahead with the assessment?āĀ
āAfter all that?ā
āYeah, I mean I feel like a huge burden has been lifted, I just wanna see if I perform better.ā
āAlright, if thatās what you want.ā I pulled my head from the couch seat, and satāfacing her.Ā
After a lengthy discourse, one that stretched for more than an hour judging by how we both had to correct our posture at least a dozen times. And, within that discourse, Yujin was infallible, every question was answered with lengthy consideration with the nuance, the specificity, the word choice.Ā
Near the end, it went something like this: āFoucaultās theory states that the evolving system of penal systems aligns, or in parallel, with everything around us. Before, in medieval ages, violent spectacles of blood and gore were prioritized as punishment, no additional consideration for the esotericism within. Whereas, now, the spectacle of violence is wholly shunned and penal systems focus on shaping the soul, rehabilitating the mind. However, the application of this idea has been rather controversial, and it could be explained with the idea of the panopticon: with the growing concern of shaping the mind, which is almost like a black box, penal systems have a growing habit of surveilling more and more.ā
Yujin stared at me for some sort of confirmation.
āAnd?ā I waited expectantly.
āAnd, this panopticon can be applied to anything, schools, hospitals, even changing cultural norms.ā
āWow, I have to say, how much did you prepare prior to this?ā
āPrior to this? A lot, a lot of work.ā Her voice was confident, a far cry from her whimpering only a moment ago.
āHow do you not sleep in my lectures considering the fact that this material is so much more advanced than the class you take?ā
āI can just stare at you.ā Her head was getting closerāI didnāt care. In the beginning of the assessment, we were separated by plenty of spaceāenough to clearly show it was a professional exchange. By the end, we were shoulder-to-shoulder, side-by-side, speaking cordially, even despite our physical contact.
āAwfully bold for someone who cried in front of her professor for like half an hour straight.ā
āUgh! Donāt remind me.ā Her face cringed.
I bit my lip, looking downāthe mood was serene, itās just that I keep getting reminded that Iām willingly participating in a mutual seduction between professor and student.
Fuck all of it.
I pulled my hand out of her handābefore she could demand that I return my handāI wrapped my arm around her upper back, with my hand wrapping at the end of her shoulder.
Her posture straightened during the process, of course the forbidden path was still on her mind, still latent and not yet brought to fruition. But she quickly adapted, she looked to her side, at me, smiling warmly.
āItās so amazing. How many hints have I had to give out?ā
āDonāt act like you manipulated me to do this.ā
āHow else would the great Eunwoo betray his values? Just a wisp in the wind?ā
āYou brat, donāt forget my honorifics.ā
āWhat? I couldnāt hear youā¦ Eunwoo.ā
I quickly pull her in, with my hand shielding the back of her head before I pushed her onto the floor, a soft tuft sound. I was on top of her, between the couch and coffee table, with her legs locked between mine.
Her doe eyes were on full display, her large pupils were somehow dwarfed by her eyelids which opened wider, the whites of her eyes under and above the pupil visible. She was shocked, taboo aside, itās likely sheās never even experienced something like this.
āCan I kiss you?ā Four words. These four words were all that I could think of, fantasize about for these past months. Sheād accept of course, they all didāin the past. Still, thereās an immeasurable tension, an uncertainty without even weighing in the consensual agreement.Ā
Perhaps some part of the tension was the taboo, that a professor was about to ruin the makeup of a freshman; smudge her lipstick, suck her lips until they were swollen; the condensation of love-making staining, blending in the carefully sculpted makeup with her natural beauty.
I didnāt hear the agreement, in part due to the fact that Yujin herself brought her head up to kiss me. Unfortunately, some care was forgotten, the way I had to grab Yujin's head led to a soft collapse onto the carpet, her head making a soft thump, our teeth clicking from the force. A collaborative soft chuckle escaped through the smallest of air leaks between our lipsāa testament to our dedication to continue kissing, then it was airtight again, her soft lips glided over mine, her taste so feminine, so ephemeral.
It was obvious she was chaste, perhaps even āunclaimedā, her virginal lips were erratic, confused, yet so fucking shamelessly hot. Her low moans vibrated more in my mouth, goading me further, to enter deeper into her soft, welcoming mouth.
Slowly, steadily, our tongues entwined, the kiss was less air tight to allow for a more dynamic, sensual french kiss. Her mouth was begging, I was obliging, there was never a fairer exchange, as if her mouth was made for mine, and hers for mine.Ā
Suddenly, she managed to push me over, until I was face-up, staring into Yujinās eyes. This was the first time our eyes met during the makeout session, there wasnāt a single word that could explain what we needed to do; besides, our glazed eyes, slick with lust, spoke more than a one-dimensional tool like language. A small chuckle escaped our lips when our lips met in the middle, her head positioning lower, my head higher in the air, until my goading hands, entwined in her angelic soft hair pulled her head down. Our lips slotted in like perpendicular lines, no matter how awkward it felt, it just felt right, as if it were the most lustful way of expressing our unbridled affectations.
My hands explored her clothed body, exploring the beauty on meāwho is restlessly, yet in a fierce, virginal way exploring every inch of my mouthāher beautiful curves were soft, pliant, firm, any press had an opposing forceāan illegally soft opposing force. She was an angelāan angel on top of me, unaware of how much I wanted to ruin her.
āYouāre going to regret it.ā I say, in between wet kisses on Yujinās lips. āThis is the only thing Iāve been sure of.ā Yujin replied, her voice husky with a sort of mindlessness that only the kiss couldāve caused. I reply, scaldingly, āIām going to fucking ruin you.ā Still trying to warn her, of course, there was a mind and body separation. I was completely, utterly, under the seduction of Yujin, no matter how much I warned her. We both knew, that I wouldnāt hesitate to fuck her all over the dormānot even for a millisecond. āPlease, huff, that's all Iāve ever wanted, all I could think ever aboutā¦ to be by your side through it all.ā She pressed another kiss, a brief one, āThe messy way you keep your desk, and how happy I am to organize it, how obliging I am. Youāve seduced me without knowing, before you ever even thought about me Iāve imagined millions of scenarios with you by my side.ā Another kiss, a light peck, āImagine the pride I felt when I found you left your suitcase by the chair in the library, to serve you measurably. It was just ordinary for you, but, butā¦ it was the seventh heaven for meā¦ā
Yujin was systematically removing every screw, with a perfectly fit screwdriver. Whether Yujin was conscious of it or not; she was kryptonite, the way her soft thighs brush against the sides of your abdomen, the soft feeling of her breasts, dipping onto my chest.
I needed to do more, with our mouths still connected, I sat up. Her ass was on my lap, the changing sensory world didnāt matter to her, all she wanted to do was oblige in the kisses. It didnāt even phase her once when I picked her up, standing, only, her legs locked herself in place to continue our mouth-to-mouth connection. I began my march to her bedroom, optimized to the utmost degree, every small peek I had of her bedroom perfectly aiding in this desperate situationāwhere I have to fuck Yujin for the remaining day, then the next, perhaps even forever; if only time would allow it so.
Her body clung to mine as I pressed her against the bed. This time, I had to pull off the heat of my loins unbearably tight, wantingāof new sensations. I could only imagine how ridiculous I looked, given how swollen Yujinās lips were, I could only imagine how bad it must beāof course, the imagery was supplemented with Yujin's soft giggle, her eyes staring at my mouth.
I finally got to rid Yujin of her treacherous t-shirtāone that blocked the view of her perfect breasts, her perfect abdomen. Her lithe, firm body was running every gear in my head, on how to perfectly ravishāto perfectly mark with my actions. Yujin could only stare, wide-eyed, she doesnāt know what happens after, a little virgin, there needn't be a single statement clarifying thisāIāve already explored her enough to conclude so. I press into her, my mouth near her ears, āDonāt worry Yujin, youāll just be under the greatest pleasure of your life, helplessly moaningāsquealing on your professorās face.ā All she could reply with was a deep, sensual moan that would seem like someone pressed into her lungs, thatās how deep it was. Slowly, but surely, I shift down, letting my fingers grip onto her godly skin, leaving vertical white trails on her skin until her pelvis; when I hook her skirt, off.Ā
I could immediately feel the goosebumps on her thighs, where the warmth, the security of the skirtāor the lack thereofāprovided some protection of her core, her wet little core. I stare into her eyes again. My stature of a well-respected professional is goneāonly an animalistic drive to nail the hottest woman in the world through the bed. The dynamic of professor and student, no matter how fucked up, no matter how morally corruptāor nefarious; began to turn me on instead of inhibit, it seems so to for Yujin as well, the stain of her arousal clear.Ā
Her arms seemed to retract to her chest, her forearms squeezed her breasts together; though, Iām sure that wasnāt intended, rather, it was likely to protect her little throbbing heart from the sensations, that heart she had on her sleeve. Despite my raging erection, my raging lust, I was inclined to treat her like porcelain, at least that part of me wasnāt totally exhausted. Except when Yujin said, āIām not so fragile, daddy, break me.ā Uncontrollably, greedily I pressed my mouth against her wetness, kissing around the soft skin. The wetness radiated, even under a layer of cloth, albeit a very flimsy, sexy, cloth.Ā
Small whimpers rung out, vibrating the surface of her glossy skin around her heat after every small peck I placed on her inner thighs. Her legs were between my head, her thighs rested above my shoulder. As Yujin stared with a dogged innocence, a beautiful hesitanceā-I hooked the side of her panty. I pulledāsoftly, making sure the wet cloth makes as much contact, frictional force with her pink core. The gift wrapping revealed something divine, the lightest pink you can imagine, glossy with something that only be arousal. Slowly, I dipped my tongue into her coreāit was unimaginably comfortable, the way her pussy felt on my tongue, a sort of hot soft-serve that got molded by your tongue. But it didnāt taste like anything, thatās when a realization hit: she spent an inordinate amount of time preparing, making sure that every part of her was ripe for a nice fuck, and slowly guided me into her siren-like seduction. I patted the side of her ass, giving a grināas nasty as I could make it, a sign of things I was about to do, a sort of payback for her masterful manipulation. She stared back, her open mouth, the visible teeth morphed into a half-smile, still focused on how pleasurable my tongue was on her pussy. Immediately, I placed my finger on her clit, pressing softly against it, then circling it before I dipped my tongue deeper into her unimaginably tight hole. Her breathing went faster, her lower-half rubbed softlyāeven resisting when the pleasure was far too much. Of course, thatās not what she signed up forāshe signed up for a grueling fucking, a rough marking by her beloved professor.Ā
10 seconds, only 10 seconds after the eye-contact, she came all over the bed. Her juices flowed freely, painting her inner thighs in some beautiful glossy coating. Her abdomen tensed in a rough hyperventilation, her cries grew higher and loud before she released into a deep moan. I tried to get as much of her juices on my fingers as possible, before letting her take it in the mouthāmaking her taste the fruits of her efforts, then spreading the saliva on my fingers over her chin.
āYou taste amazing by the way.ā I stated, waiting for some explanation.
āThis is how I taste, always.ā She panted, justifying it all.
āIt wasnāt just a carefully constructed ruse to bed me?ā
She scoffed, āWhat kind of evil bitch do you think I am? Iām beginning to worry about what type of woman you bedded before me to make you think pussy tastes bad.āĀ Scoffing, her chest heaving, all glistened up.
āIām a virgin too, I wouldnāt know.ā I replied, jokingly.
This time, she whimpered, āThatāsā¦ Ughā I felt a resistance, then a strong push, she was suddenly saddened at the prospect of being just another lady bedded, another number. While she focused on the sentiment, my eyes, my lustful gaze only landed on her body. Of course, thereās always an opportunity after every resistanceāan opposing force against the applied force. Her head was positioned away, stubbornly opposing, but she left her bare neckāher smooth, thin neckātoo openly.Ā
Thus, my lips ended up on her smooth neck---squeezing out her pitiful moans. "Ungh~stop~! I'm still sensitive." She squeaked, her little throat muscles striated in trying to get her meek statement out. Fuel to the fire, it was only fuel to the fire, like a flame retardant---such as water---only strengthening the flame.
I marked her neck full of light bruises, ones that'll be dark tomorrow---dark in how badly I've wanted to possess her. Truly, I've gone insane. My mouth traced a path, from her soft, bruised neck down her bosom. Her nipples were framed with perky breasts, soft with a delicate femininity that she curated so diligently, so meticulously. Her little squeaks, pleads, exited her cute mouth faster, almost as much as when I ate her pussy. It was due to the multi-task that I engaged in, devouring her breast, whilst my hand massaged the other---less fortunate---breast.
Slowly, I released myself from her delicious breasts, still insatiable, pressed down on her breasts, my index fingers gliding, gripping against her nubs as if it were joysticks---literal joy sticks. Her breasts were painted in a beautiful pink hue, from how I used her, how I marked her---initially whitened from the pressure, then pink, then likely to be red for the rest of the day.
"Eunwoo..." she was splayed out on the bed, utterly satisfied---still with an enthusiastic gaze. "I want to suck your cock." She stated, matter of fact. "I want you to paint my mouth in your seed." she continued. "Let your seed fill my belly, the remains coating my chin..." her movements after each statement, in the silence, moved to push me on my back as she got up from her back. "Because, Professor, Eternal Love? Was that the title? And who was the love interest? If I didn't forget, it was... Khujin? As brilliant as you are, your naming conventions leaves a lot to be desired, I mean come on, it sounds oddly familiar." She completely pushed me over; I was slightly paralyzed with the discovery that she read what I was writing---it wasn't remotely family friendly, and perhaps, aimed towards her. Her eyes stared at me with knowing eyes, what exactly I desired from her at that moment; her lithe, perky body was positioned between my legs, kneeling, preparing to dip her mouth into eternal lust.
"From then on... Khujin took the face-fucking, dutifully, sexually, despite the size with which she was confronted with, took it. Her mouth ached, was pained, though, not in a conventional way; it ached in the desire to take him deeper." She just... requoted the entire sequence perfectly word-for-word from the paper.
Fuck!
There's nothing left to protect, nothing left to resist, we were unclothed, our secrets revealed, there was nothing left except our mutual wish to ravage each other until dawn. Our enlarged pupils---almost alien---met each other, glazed in some atypical determination. Finally, her head lowered and lowered before her tongue placed a meek lick on my cock. Then kisses, then a mix of licks while her hands clenched my wrists---signaling some sign that I shouldn't interfere, that I should enjoy this requited vindication.
Her mouth---even if virginal---provided some of the greatest relief. Her soft lips, erratic, still provided relief from my swollen tip. Her rookie mistakes, the slight graze of teeth, the meddling tongue only seemed to heighten the experience.
"You're a naughty fucking professor." She said, slightly biting down on the head, getting the intended reaction out of me---a great spasm. "Writing porn of a character that exactly resembles me. Mmmm naughty... so fucking naughty.."
"You're a horny, good-for-nothing student, Yujin."
We were fighting while she shallowly sucked in between her sentences, listening thoughtfully with a cock between her lips.
"I remember when you left that jacket at the library, I stole it. Then, I smelt it everyday, the cologne, the detergent, the natural smell. When you slept around I could smell it, the faint flowery smell alien to your scent."
She released her grip on my wrists, instead grabbing my dick, to better stimulate---to better punish. Her mouth hollowed out, the suction tremendously pleasing, the way she tongued at the underside of my shaft showing her real-time improvement. Then she popped my shaft out of her mouth again.
Somehow, she was angry again.
"Do you have nothing to say?" Yujin asked---irritatingly.
"I'm here now, Yujin."
"Idiot."
Her mouth went back, into the irresistible motions that she quickly figured out. Her head bobbed faster, I felt immensely relieved, yet I also felt an unbelievable greed, a sort of ripple between two identities in parallel, fighting for ultimate control.
I quickly and harshly gripped her hair, led her mouth down to the hilt---her low choke lubricated the hilt. Her fingers lightly tapped the sides of my thighs, with her perfect nails, the smooth skin, such a brave contrast to what was happening to her mouth. Her mouth suctioned again, not a word needed for preparedness, only the motions of our sexual organs were enough. Slowly, my grip on her hair went down to her scalp, a firmer place to grasp, to debase her identity further.
Her lips dragged long and hard, the suction felt stronger---the feeling of pulling out from her mouth harder than going in at this point. Her lips occasionally touched the base on my cock, only edging me closer. Until, I peaked, I growled as the first rope of cum landed deep into her throat. Even in this constricted, breathless stance where her dick was so deep in her throat that her throat reddened, her glazed puppy eyes stared back, almost a sign of some sort of sick victory over me. Then a second splash, the pressure so strong you'd think the flow was laminar---though I wouldn't know, her sexy throat hid it all. My head flew back, the relief of it all so strong, ropes turned into strings, strings turned into nothing---only the sensation of a suckling swallow could be felt on my sensitive tip.
There was no brief awkward silence, her mouth released in a godly erotic fashion. Her spittle still gathered on my cock, the spit strands coating her chin, her tongue clear and empty of the load I covered the insides of her mouth with.
She smiled so brightly - so happily. Her hands patted me on the thighs, trying to help me reconcile the fact that I throat-fucked a college freshman, the age gap already taboo, the fact that we were professor and student - only worsened it.
Her eyes were slightly red, the hint of tear trails on her face apparent. So badly did I want to hold her dear to my body, let the warmth of my chest keep her snug, let her rest. Yet, her reddened tits, her confused doe-like puppy eyes, her confused face, the slight glistening of her inner thighs goaded me endlessly. From that point on, I hadn't even realized I was hovering over her body. We were really gonna do it, I was gonna fuck her on her own bed, this beautiful, smart student.
"You really are an idiot" I say.
"Why? Because I like you? Because you're some respected higher up that I shouldn't entertain having a relationship with?"
It was that word: relationship. What are we gonna become-
"Eunwoo... master... professor... I don't just offer up my virginity to anyone... if you think I'm that easy to offer myself up to anyone - you're fucking crazy."
"You're a seduction master." I chuckle, letting her know the weakness of my self-control.
"If I'm a seduction master, then you're - I don't know - like Alain Delon." her hands hooked the nape of my neck, she was positioned so delicately, ready for whatever I wanted to do to her.
"I want this because I love you, Eunwoo."
"Who would've thought our little freshman is such a romantic, huh?" As I nuzzled my face into the side of her neck, give soft licks to her soft neck - her soft face a contrast to my stubbled jaw.
"Regardless of whether you insert your shaft inside me or not. I'll still follow you, to the ends of the earth, until you file a restraining order- Ah~!"
a single finger entered her, "Shh Yujin, An Yujin - all that pining to give up after a restraining order? I'll have to get you drunk on my dick, so that even the splitting of the earth won't deter you."
She squeaked, she definitely came, she definitely fucking came - hah. I let the finger exit slow, slowly trailing the wet finger up her abdomen - a sort of trail forming.
Finally, I palmed my dick, staring, realizing that I didn't have a condom. "Oh fuck - I don't have a condom" saying my thought out loud, she butts in, "Doesn't matter, please, anything - please." Her desperation clear in her tone - her fingers gripping dearly onto me.
"Who said anyone's leaving?" This time, her eyes were even wider. It was time, she knew it, I knew it, each step an acceleration to a barrier that we kept raising - was there even a barrier anymore? The depravity... the soulful acknowledgement of this cording relationship rose the hairs on my entire body; the blood in my chest frantically seemed to disperse, trying to control itself, to also control my entire body.
Though, if Yujin is under me, begging to be fucked - so hellbent, her glazed and aroused eyes pleading for some sinful contract. If only she knew - how much I'd do - there needn't be a single contract. I couldn't ever control myself anyway, what's there to deny?
Slowly - slowly - entered her, her sopping wetness gladly parted with some paradoxical resistance. The more I entered, the more her pussy resisted, the more her pussy pulled me in. The most sinful sounds, even more so than those of a minute ago, the squelch of a virgin hole being stretched - fuck, holy fuck.
"Ngghhh~ holy shit, please, more!" She desperately tried to close her mouth, aware of the lack of noise canceling. The way her mewls and moans exited between the tightest clasp of her mouth, the way her twinkled, the exasperation of a different type of pain stretching, beautifying her already goddess-like face. "I love it! Eunwoo~", that earned her a full stroke to the hilt. I grabbed the hand off her mouth - the way her face morphed into fear was beautiful, she was close to her neighbors - those neighbors who were about to hear Yujin's highest shrieks, highest orgasms. Another stroke, then another, I couldn't even describe how sinful her sounds were, shrieks, moans, deep to high - the sheer entropy of her mannerisms clearly showing her arousal. The next door neighbors would know, even the vertical neighbors would know. If they saw me entering her home, then I'm fucked - yet, I can't stop fucking her, the way her hips rotate and drift off my cock, the way her pussy lips wrap so tightly, so snug around my length.
I began pounding away, her thin waist acclimating to my tight grip, the way her breasts bounced when her ass slapped against my loins; who said missionary was boring? The way I kneeled, the way her body angled at a point - true rookie mistake - I kept pounding away at her g-spot. How many times she came - I wouldn't know - but the amount of liquid dispersed all over us, a mix of sweat and whatever else was definitely a clue. The way my length explored her insides so thoroughly, the way I'm pretty sure I bottomed her out, bound to bruise her cervix; the way her moans grew more unhinged, her eyes slowing going back inside her head, her arms almost unresponsive.
Until.
Until, Yujin grabbed onto me, it wasn't an ordinary grip, a nuanced grip that lovers of decades could understand - I'm sure there's some hidden meaning in that. The way her soft fingers grabbed my forearm while she laid down - panting with sweat, the glow of sex, possibly covered in her squirt. I made sure to stop at exactly when the base of my length met with her pussy - immersing myself in her beautiful warmth, sheathed in her velvety walls.
"Eunwoo - please slow down, I'm not going anywhere, by the next half-hour we'll be walking skeletons..."
This time, still plugged with my length I pulled her up, face-to-face where she sat on the slope of my kneel - adjusting myself accordingly to not destroy my knees.
"How could I Yujin? Light of my life, fire of my loin-"
She playfully slapped my shoulder
"Why are you referencing Lolita!?" in a giggling manner, understanding all at once.
"Careful where you slap your hands around, Yujin."
"Hm? What're you gonna do-mm!" A closed reaction to receiving a deep kiss. Slowly, my arms slithered around her back, to make sure that she doesn't fall - but, mostly to ensure that I could fuck her, utterly, fully under my control.
The way her eyes shined, with a deep desire - some atypical lust - yet still somehow looking so innocent, as if brilliant gems were in place of her pupils. Every time I get to stare at her, especially now that our eyes were separated by the width of a nose, I feel glad that someone - just someone like that exists, even better with the fact that we cohabit this area, and even better that our lips slip against each other. The act of exchanging saliva - a deeply disturbing thought - hadn't registered in us at all, only desire and love.
Slowly, her moans left her pretty mouth with emphasis - clearly enjoying the slower pace in which I gave these decrepit kisses to her cervix. Her velvety folds seemed to contract even more spastically - the movement easier, yet tighter, yet harder, parenthetically a paradox.
If only such paradoxes were this pleasurable.
"I'm gonna cum, Yujin." The sounds were absolutely vicious, viscous with the repeated slapping of our loins, the cold strands of her juices landing on my thighs whenever her pink core left the base of my length. "Eunwoo, give it to me, inside, everything." I tried to object; "Eunwoo, shhh, don't try to talk sense with me - it's too late for that, if you don't spill your biggest seed inside me, I'll chase you around the world."
"A restraining order?" I replied, curious for a response.
"And that'll stop me? After getting drunk on your dick, as you said? " She replied back, serious.
"You're right baby." I pumped into her deeper, slanting a little to get topological synchronicity: my chest fully in contact with her chest, the warmth compared to the biting cold of the environment only goading us on further. The way her soft, perky breasts pooled on my chest made my pumps only deeper - kisses more passionate.
"What if I do? What if I cum inside you?" Our eyes were level, engaging in a seriously serious topic. All care should've been granted to the topic - of course, we both knew the pending event.
"Then, presumably, understandably, I'll be by your side - with your favorite tea, massaging your soreness. And maybe, just maybe, nursing a little Eunwoo." Fuck! I hugged her tight - too tight. The small of her back caved in with my tight hug as I mashed my dick inside her swollen pussy. The way she moaned was less noticeable, she was so focused on receiving the load - breathing into the side of my neck, playing with my hair, exacting some stimuli to wring me out dry.
Her body perfectly molded into my force. Her ass molded against my tough thighs, her hard nipples poked my chest expectedly. When, just when, the hypothetical situation with Yujin - of a filial future - flashed in my mind, the first release of semen launched inside her. Ribbons of her deepest desire filled her - indulging her. We kissed - the natural course as expected when I released inside her.
Ropes of semen turned into strings, then finally - nothing. We embraced each other, I still hugged her just as tight, she hugged back with the delicacy of an angel.
"Yujin..."
"Holy shit." She replied.
Holy shit was right.
"-Like holy fucking shit." I emphatically replied.
Her gem-like pupils looked at me, her entire face turned into a smile.
"You'll have to call me wife from now on."
"Hm?" Fully not processing her request.
"Call me wife behind closed doors."
"Why?"
"Because.. why not?"
After a swift thought - one that didn't really have any substance at all - "Wife... wife... rolls off the tongue nicely."
She gave a peck on my lips, "make sure that it rolls off the tongue as easy as it does now... I'll want to hear it everyday."
"Wifey... who's cleaning the bed?" I jokingly inquired - of course, the truth was that the bed wouldn't dry in a day, and the way we are right now: the overflowing semen was still plugged inside her - with my cock.
Though, that would be a worry that could be taken care of later. Right now, the half-life of our post-sex fatigue finished - the other half to be finished when our lips met again.
Fin.
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That's Right: It's Another Hot Take About That Dead Healthcare CEO
The websites are abuzz with debate on the utilitarian calculus of whether some guy getting shot was a good thing. What are the odds that the assassination will scare the horrible greedy health insurance companies into changing their ways and fixing the system? Is it worth killing someone over? Will the fear of being blasted by some guy with stylishly-engraved bullets put the fat cats in line? Or will their greed win out over their fear, leaving the nightmarish system unchanged?
Well, what if that was totally irrelevant?
You may have seen a graph that looks like this:
I've seen a few of these going around. These are the rates at which various health insurance companies say "no, you don't get the money" when someone says "hey I need money for this medical thing". UHC, the one whose CEO got shot, is notably really bad in this respect. They've got algorithmic claims denials and all kinds of nasty things that people don't like. All that money they're saving on paying out on claims must be making them rich, right? Let's look at their own financial reports:
Whoa! Big numbers! Six percent looks like a small number, but multiply and they make like thirty billion dollars doing this! That's a lot, right?
Well hang on. They're an insurance company. We can roughly model their profit as the amount people pay them for insurance, minus the amount they have to pay out for claims. Let's look at 2023: simple subtraction, their expenses are $339.2 billion. We simplify other overhead and assume that's all claims. So... that represents those 67% of claims they don't reject. What happens if they approve all the claims?
Multiply: $506.3 billion. They don't have that kind of money. They have $371.6 billion in revenue. So okay- they have to deny some claims. That's pretty normal. But let's pretend they're extremely afraid of assassins now and want to be completely non-greedy: they're okay making zero profit. They make $32.4 billion in profit- how many otherwise-rejected claims can they now afford to approve?
...uh. Well, they can afford to pay out, at most, 73.4% of claims. Still a denial rate of 26.6%, higher than most of their competitors. Not a huge improvement. And in reality, they can't afford to make 0 profit- a company that's making 0 profit is a company investors pull out of immediately, leaving it to collapse, because they can make more money investing in the ones that aren't as afraid of assassins. They've got to at least hover around the same profit margin as their competitors. Which is...
That's average profit margins for the whole US healthcare industry. So, okay, if we match those other companies' profit margins and try to hover around 3-4%... uh. Wait. Hang on. Here's another graph with more recent data on UHC specifically:
Wait, they're still just making that little 3-4% profit margin, even with all these shady automated denials- so how are those other companies doing better on claims? They're obviously not less greedy. They must be making more money somehow, right?
(My guess, sight-unseen, would be that they charge more for their plans, or offer less comprehensive coverage, or use a network of less expensive providers, or other things that make the amount they have to pay out smaller and the amount they're taking in larger. I don't feel like doing a comprehensive consumer review of what every insurance provider's healthcare plans are, but there's always these tradeoffs to make. UHC seems to be offering the tradeoff of "better or cheaper care, on paper" for "but there's a higher risk of getting denied", which is one annoying tradeoff among many.)
Okay But That's Enough Graphs
"Yeah yeah yeah shut up about profit margins and coverage tradeoffs. Is it a good thing that the CEO got shot or not?"
Well, their profit margin at the time he was shot was 3.63%. A company can't survive making 0 or less, so whatever effect fear of assassination has on UHC's greediness, it is going to be no larger than 3.63%.
They may learn the lesson that having their denial rates too high will get them assassinated. Accordingly, they may decrease that metric- by charging higher premiums, kicking expensive doctors out of their network, or reducing their stated coverage. They will not (because they cannot, without ceasing to exist as a company) simply start approving more claims without squeezing their customers elsewhere. They legally cannot do that. No matter how afraid you make the CEOs, you cannot make them afraid to a degree larger than their profit margin.
Well What The Fuck, Then
Like, what, are we supposed to accept that things will literally never get better and that this horrorshow is the best we can hope for? That's some bullshit! If we can't scare the CEOs, who can we scare?
Man I dunno.
Like, for some reason healthcare is stupid expensive! People can't afford to pay for healthcare without insurance- it's like thousands of dollars for basic procedures! Why? Maybe...
Doctors inflate their prices 10x because they know insurance companies will use complicated legal tricks to only pay 10% of the asking price, and this is a constantly escalating price war that serves mainly to fuck over the uninsured
Drug manufacturers and health technology companies fight tooth and nail to maintain monopolies over treatment, so they can charge gazillions to make back the gazillions they had to spend on FDA approval trials
(Trials those same companies lobby to keep necessary because the more money you have to pay for FDA approval, the harder it is for competitors to enter the market since they don't already have the gazillions)
Doctors operate as a cartel and lobby to gatekeep access to medical training so that they can keep doctoring a prestigious and exclusive position, and keep their own salaries high enough to pay their medical school debt and make them rich afterwards- leading to a (profitable) shortage of medical professionals
There is no limit to how expensive things can get but how much people are physically capable of paying, because frequently the alternative to "pay a ridiculous amount for healthcare" is "die", and so healthcare is subject to near-infinitely inelastic demand
Also like a thousand other equally annoying and complicated perverse incentives and stupid situations
This is the human condition: Shit is annoying and complicated and difficult to fix, pretty much 100% of the time forever. A few bullets in some fucko's back isn't really going to make a dent.
(But like, sure, fuck that guy. He probably sucked, as do the hundred other identical suits in line to replace him. Just... don't expect this to help.)
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On a seemingly random Tuesday night, a few members of the Bat Family are free to spend dinner at the manner.
Jason was benched by his fellow Outlaws for a nasty hit to his chest and got tired of Bizās worrying even if it was appreciated at first.
Dick had been taking a small break after a particularly bad case with work that involved some hurt children and wanted to be back home.
Damian had only ever made threats to move about but the newley eighteen year old was still at home.
Tim had been using his free time while Kon and Cassie visited their families to visit his own while Bart and Barry dragged Wally on a bonding trip. The poor West boy had to miss out a concert of some sort.
Stephanie, Duke and Cass were all busy with a case and had pleaded with Bruce to take some time off because he was, quote, āBroodier than Hamletā. He eventually relented when Barbie and Kate promised to keep an eye on them.
The group had decided to watch a movie instead of playing games, mainly because not games were banned, and settled on something that Tim paid no mind to.
The problem came that it was cold out and everyone insisted on having the fire as hot as it could go, but Tim naturally ran hot. Jason and Damian tended to get the coldest and while only Jason would complain, Damian could and would set anything he wanted on fire to get warm.
So, Tim didnāt complain and just said he was going to get changed.
He spent at least half an hour on one of the arm chairs by himself with his tablet playing RuneScape, when Dick inhaled so quickly everyone heard it.
Tim assumed it was something to do with the movie and didnāt turn, tapping away at his screen, completely ignorant to Dickās quickly forming tears.
It was when Bruce also made a noise, this time a poorly pronounced āohā that he turned around, assuming it had to be a truely grand thing for Bruce to react so openly in the movie.
Instead he finds his foster father and brothers staring at him.
More specifically, his thighs.
Tim hadnāt realised his shorts would ride up and stop covering him to just above his knee and show the hundreds of scars littered over the outside and inside of his pale skin. They were mostly faded, but with the width of some of them they were always going to be visible, especially with the sheer amount.
Pulling his pant leg down, Tim doesnāt bother to hide a sympathetic wince and says, āSorry, didnāt meant to show them. Sorry if I made you uncomfortable.ā
He looks away again, assuming that was that and trying to remind himself that it wasnāt his fault that people were upset by his scars, just like Black Canary told him.
Instead he hears a sob and turns back to find Bruce holding Dicks hand as his oldest brother sobs into his hand. He sees that Jason is seemingly fighting to not match him even with his wide eyes and Damian is staring at him with confusion.
Realisation finds Tim quickly, which makes sense considering heās supposed to be the āsmart Robinā.
āYou didnāt knowā¦ā
Dick stands up, dropping Bruceās hand and comes to kneel before Tim, holding onto his own hands like some kind of follower to a god, āWhy? I- I donāt- why?ā
The desperation in his voice makes Tim feel sick, and he looks around at the others for help because surely he had talked to at least one of them about it? He had been open with his friends, and he hadnāt exactly kept it a secret, but he did avoid showing themā¦
Tim moves to hold onto Dick in return, āIām sorry, I thought you guys knew-ā¦ okay, look, Iāve got a two year clean streak and Iām in therapy, okay? Iām so sorry Dick, I just assumed you knew cause I use the shower in the cave with you guys andā¦ Iām so sorry.ā
Thereās a silence for a moment as Dick drags him into his arms and squeezes him as tightly as he can, not even being careful like he usually would.
āI donāt understand.ā
Damianās voice sounds uncharacteristic in how small it is. Heās staring at Timās legs like he might be able to catch a glimpse of the scars in genuine confusion.
Bruce seemingly canāt speak and so Jason tries his best to explain to the youngest Wayne boy, āLook, bra-kid, some times when people arenāt doing to well theyā¦ they hurt themselves. Timā¦ā
Giving his brother a smile, Tim takes over as tears finally break away from Jason. Jason was always the most emotional and thatās evident in how he actually lets Bruce pull him into a side hug.
āDami, you know how my parents kind of sucked?ā
Damian makes a scoff noise, āI know they were incompetent, yes.ā
Smiling, Tim continues as his eyes grow wet with the sound of his families cries, āWell, I really wanted to good for them but they had impossible standards. When I found I couldnāt reach them, I decided I needed punishment. Soā¦ā he takes a deep inhale and moves a hand to Dickās head to comfort him as he finishes. āI started to cut myself.ā
Damian doesnāt get wide eyes or anything, and Tim thinks itās so much worse that thereās an image understanding in his little brothers eyes that show he sees that as completely logical.
But it is quickly overcome, his first thought always what he was raised with and quickly followed by the ideals heās learnt and now values. He doesnāt cry either, but he does have a look of a pure heart break in his sweet little eyes.
Bruce finally comes over and pulls his two sons into a hug, adjusting to fit Jason in and saying nothing as Damian comes up behind Tim and leans his head against the others back.
Bruce asks other a few minutes of holding each other, āYou said you havenāt for two years?ā
Tim smiles once again and presses a kiss to his dadās cheek. āYeah. I learnt that family, real family like ours, would never want physical punishment, especially for something we canāt control. Thatās not how loving people work.ā
Damian moves to wrap his arms around Tim in their first ever hug and by all gods and mighty beings is Tim glad he stuck around.
Hugs from his family was well worth it.
#batfam#tim drake#bat family#dc comics#batfamily#dc universe#dc#tim drake is red robin#tim drake is a menace#damian wayne#dick grayson#jason todd#bruce wayne#Tim Drake angst#tim drake centric#sh mention
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Nanami Kento Relationship Headcanons
(Nanami through the phases)
Warnings: none. This post is SFW, and is mostly full of fluff.
Acquaintance (I'm just another face in the crowd)
ā¢ This isn't a love-at-first-sight type of situation. Romance is so far from his mind in general, and as far as he's concerned, it's off the table, no matter who it is.
ā¢ If you're another sorcerer, you're just another colleague - his only concern is whether or not you're competent. If you're a non-sorcerer, you're just another stranger in the world trying to make your way however you can. Nothing more.
ā¢ He treats you no different than any other person, with painful indifference and total professionalism. Short responses - no longer than is required to get a point across.
ā¢ Any time you'd try to have some form of friendly chat or banter with him, you're met with little more than a 'hm' or an ' I see' before he would return to what he was doing.
ā¢ His responses would only be a little longer if it pertained to work or if it were absolutely necessary.
Friend (If you slip and fall off-track - I'll carry you on my back)
ā¢ It took a long while to get to even this point with him, but he's less guarded around you - only a little. It's not that he doesn't trust you; it's just how he is with people. The difference is that when he asks about your day, he genuinely wants to know - it's no longer an obligatory means of the bare-minimum 'polite conversation between strangers/colleagues' type of situation.
ā¢ You're one of the few people he'll ask out for drinks after work. He's a good drinking partner, and he always tends to buy the first round. This is around the time you realize just how well he can hold his liquor. The man can drink like a fish, and it takes him an insane amount before he seems to show any subtle signs of inebriation. That being said, he's a pretty quiet drunk; he'll sway a bit more when he stands, and his ears/cheeks will turn a little redder, but he tends to stop before he even gets to that point.
ā¢ He has genuine respect for you (even if you're also a Jujutsu Sorcerer).
ā¢ You get to see him crack a small smile on occasion. Even though he's not typically one for jokes, you're one of the few people who make him chuckle.
ā¢ He knows how you take your coffee and/or tea (or what you prefer if you don't drink coffee or tea). If you're a colleague, he'll sometimes bring you something from the coffee shop if he'd happened to stop by to pick up a coffee for himself.
ā¢ (If you're a sorcerer) He trusts you to be able to handle yourself, and doesn't feel the need to babysit you on missions. He knows your style pretty well, and is able to adapt his own to better compliment yours if needed. Still, he's always looking out for you in his typical 'Nanami' way.
ā¢ (If you're not a sorcerer) He keeps an eye out for you when he happens to be around; making sure you're not stuck dealing with some unknown minor curse. If you do happen to catch the attention of a curse, he'll go out of his way to deal with it for you - though you'd never know it; he doesn't want to bring you into his messy world by telling you things you don't need to know.
ā¢ All in all, Nanami is a fiercely loyal friend. He has your back through anything and everything, even if that means giving you a scolding for doing something foolish.
Crush (I've got my eye on you)
ā¢ Once you catch his eye, he almost seems to become a little less talkative around you than he was before. At first, you're worried that you did something wrong.
ā¢ If anything, he's kind of in shock. These feelings just came out of nowhere for him, and he's not really sure how to handle it.
ā¢ He specifically did NOT want to be romantically involved with anyone while he's in this field of work. In fact, he's fully intending to keep his feelings to himself and just hoping that they go away over time, even if you're also in the same business of fighting curses.
ā¢ Any signs of affection are extremely subtle - almost imperceptible - but they are there.
ā¢ When he brings you your coffee/tea/etc. he now always pairs it with some sort of sticky note message. Nothing cutesy - just a simple 'have a good day' or 'stay safe.'
ā¢ When you're around each other, he seems to stand a little closer than usual - especially if it's crowded, he takes the opportunity to stick almost shoulder-to-shoulder with you (but he always says a quick 'apologies' when he does).
ā¢ You have your own ringtone and vibration pattern, now - though he hasn't brought it to anyone's attention; not even yours. Your ringtone changes from his usual default to something different so he can hear if it's specifically you contacting him. Your vibration tone is a subtle 'bzt-bzt' that he noticed sounded like a heartbeat. Whenever he hears that tone or that vibration, he tends to stop what he's doing to check his inbox.
ā¢ You've never noticed, but if someone seems to be eyeing you, be it a creep or just some would-be troublemaker, he's able to subtly put on that scary-dog aire which never fails to deter them from coming anywhere near you. In fact, one time, he happened to notice some creep was following you home after work while he was driving by, so he pulled over to the curb beside you and got out of his car to greet you. 'It's not safe to be out alone in this area this late. Let me drive you home.'
Before you can say anything, he's gently leading you to the passenger's side door, opening it for you to let you in before carefully closing it behind you. As he's moving around the car to get into the driver's seat, he's sure to flash a death glare to the stalker (and no one - and I mean NO ONE - can death glare like Nanami).
Once he's arrived at your place, he suggests carpooling with him after work. Even if you decline, he requests that you text him when you get home. Either way, this starts a trend of you two either carpooling home or texting each other most nights.
ā¢ You have noticed that his usual habit of buying the first round of drinks has turned into him picking up the entire tab basically every time.
ā¢ You are the only person that has ever seen this stoic man flustered. The first time you saw him remove his glasses, you complimented the amber colour of his eyes. He cleared his throat and scratched the bridge if his nose, flushing with a 'thank you.' You heard from Gojo later that day that Nanami seemed to be in a better mood than usual for the rest of the day.
ā¢ He actually compliments you, now - and not just for work-related things. He keeps it simple, but one day he notices you'd changed something small - maybe the way you parted your hair, the way you did your makeup, maybe you shaved, or he noticed the perfume/cologne you were wearing, maybe a new accessory you bought - and he makes a point to say something (ie; 'Ah, you changed your hair part. It looks good.')
Dating (What would happen if we kissed? Would your tongue slip past my lips?)
ā¢ This was not what Nanami was intending to happen. You either had to make the first move, or once you noticed the hints he was unintentionally dropping, you practically had to pull it out of him. He was convinced, without the shadow of a doubt, that his feelings were completely one-sided.
ā¢ If by some chance he were the one to make the first move, however, he had originally decided to confess to you in hopes that his feelings would pass once you'd inevitably turned him down. You could imagine his surprise when you returned his feelings. He decided it would be best to take you out for lunch at a coffee shop you both liked to frequent. After you'd taken your seats, you noticed that he seemed nervous. That's when he tells you.
ā¢ Either way, once you both decide to start a relationship, he turns out to be a textbook-perfect boyfriend. He holds doors open, buys you gifts, plans great dates, gives great massages, and he's a shockingly good kisser. He's also unsurprisingly great at communication; he likes to talk things out, and is very solutions-oriented, so the two of you may disagree on occasion, but you rarely 'fight.'
ā¢ His only real failing as a boyfriend (at least early on in the relationship) has everything to do with his habit of being a workaholic. It can be hard to make time to spend time together outside of work, and when you do, he's often rather tired, though he tries not to show it.
ā¢ You two didn't share an official 'first kiss' until the end of the third date. You'd hugged, held hands, cuddled, and you'd both even come close to kissing a couple times, but neither of you wanted to make the other feel rushed or uncomfortable. He'd kissed your hand, fingers and forehead before, but at the end of your third date, as he was dropping you off at your place, he asked you to wait a moment before getting out of his car. He started to lean forward and gently slipped a hand on your jawline, holding intense eye contact for a moment before asking if it would be alright for him to kiss you. You basically just managed to get a 'yes' out and his lips were on yours in the blink of an eye - as if he'd been unable to think of anything else for his entire life. All too soon, he pulled away an inch, letting out a deep sigh of relief. He drifted his thumb gently over your bottom lip and smiled. 'You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that.'
ā¢ He seems to exhibit many forms of the love languages, but his most prominent are acts of service, gift giving, and physical touch.
Long-Term (Come with me, my love, to the sea - the sea of love)
ā¢ Nanami always enjoys his dates with you, regardless of what you're doing, but he specifically loves dates where the two of you get to learn something together. Taking classes, be they painting, cooking, dancing, learning a language, etc. he finds them to be the most interesting.
ā¢ Nanami asked you to move in with him about a year into your relationship. The first day you came 'home' after work, he'd made a point of being there first so he could set up a 'welcome home' banner and prepare a nice in-home date night for the two of you.
ā¢ Coming home to you is easily the highlight of most of his days. His favourite post-work ritual is to slide off his tie, unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt, and to fall into you to cuddle on the couch together.
ā¢ He loves when you read books out loud while he's curled up with you, feeling your fingers running through his hair. It never fails to put him at ease.
ā¢ After having taken many cooking classes together, the two of you can flawlessly work around each other in the kitchen - something many couples seem to struggle with.
ā¢ It was about 3 years into your relationship when you realized he has a shockingly nice singing voice that he rarely uses. One evening, the two of you were slow-dancing in the living room when he started humming a song in a low, smooth tone that took you by surprise.
ā¢ Nanami's always had pretty good fashion sense, but he enjoys coordinating his outfits with yours, and low-key revels in getting to show you off a little when you're out together.
ā¢ He never forgets anniversaries - ever. He remembers that during your first anniversary, you bought him a midnight blue silk tie with a simple wave pattern that he adores, and makes sure to wear every anniversary without fail.
Married (After all this time, I'm still into you)
ā¢ The two of you take at least a one week long vacation together every year; but for your 5th anniversary, he pulled out all the stops. We're talking a first-class flight to a private villa by the sea with a balcony and an ocean view that boasted some of the most incredible sunsets imaginable. After spending the week getting absolutely pampered with amazing meals, couples massages, and anything under the sun that the two of you wanted to do, he presented you with an envelope.
You opened it to see that he had purchased the ocean villa so the two of you could come back any time you wanted; but that's not all.
He had signed it under both his name, and under a 'Mrs. Nanami Kento.' You looked at him in shock as he rose to his feet and dropped down on one knee beside you to offer you a ring with your favourite stone.
ā¢ The wedding was, in a word, perfect. He had a blast planning it with you, and the entire event went off without a single hitch. It was small, beautiful, elegant, intimate, and perfect for both of you. You like to joke that the two of you had a future in event planning if Jujutsu Sorcery stopped being an option.
ā¢ It's not long before he (and you, if you were also a sorcerer) decide to retire from Jujutsu Sorcery to open your own business together - be it event planning, a restaurant, a bakery, etc. which goes on to be incredibly successful.
ā¢ This man never stops trying to win your heart. Even decades into your marriage, he's always trying to find new ways to charm you and sweep you off your feet.
#jjk#jujutsu kaisen#nanami kento#nanami#headcanon#relationship#py#pyretta#wychwiggin#psh#purple strudel house#fan fiction#fanfiction#sfw#fluff#Spotify
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