#this is so random my bad I just thought it would be so funny

[devotion-disorder]

i have nothing to post but im itching to yap so here are random bits and pieces of DoL things™ and me yapping about them. ⚠️spoiler warning for kylar's manor and dog pound storylines⚠️ and also this is a longass post

so after 9000 years I finally got around to seeing the kylar's manor storyline because i heard there was real freaky cult shit going on (and also rare bailey content). I grinded the whitney alleyway encounters for so long (all of the events are apparently ordered so its not even rng) only to discover that I accepted the owl plushie so IT WASNT GOING TO WORK ANYWAYS

so i had to speedrun de-traumatizing robin then romancing them, which thankfully didnt take very long (sowwy wobin im usually too locked in on making money LMAO)

i think its just really funny that one of pc's method of escape is just. sending bailey an email. like can u fuckign imagine bailey getting an email thats like

Subject: EHLP Sender: [kylar's cringe email handle]

AUHXJKAUS HEEOLP BAILY IMSTUCK> IN SOME HAUNTED HOUOSE ON DABUBVE STREET I MADE MY KIDNAPPEDR MOW THE GRASS AND DANCE 4 ME BUT HES SO BAD HEELPPPP

and then he actually proceeded to believe the email and went to save pc im cryin.

i cannot believe he SNATCHED kylar mid-air LMAO????????

also,

WHAT THE FREAK JORDAN.........I WAS UNFAMILIAR WITH YOUR GAME.............................

i thought bailey would at least escort pc back home but he didnt(😔) but my pcs has already racked up so much stress i passed out immediately...which triggered the kylar's abduction event (💀💀💀💀) GOOD JOB BOZO

I also did the dog pound questline because im scavenging for any and all bits of bailey scenes, but atp my pc has S Skullduggery so i got in and got out of there in like. less than half a day

mainly i just wanna share this........oughhh what does it mean.............

speaking of bailey i also learnt that annoying him in his office is a great way to grind sadism so my pc has been waking up at 7am sharp every day to be a menace :)

I've been trying to unlock Mason's pond but I wasted most of the non-school days doing gacha for whitney alleyway events (see above) and ive never wanted there to be more rain than now

which also. I finally got one of whitney's favourite food recipes but IT JUST WONT RAIN SO I CANT GIVE IT TO HIM RAUGHHHHHH

I was going for both 'stressful challenge' feats so this has sadly been a very harperless run. though now that i think about it it's kind of a miracle i managed this despite the stimulant kidnapping questline.

i find that in late game when you inevitably accumulate more negative fame it gets kinda hard to get the 'stretcher to the hospital' outcome because noncon encounters will almost always "intercept" in a sense. i went 250 ish days without even seeing harper get mentioned lol

how did they make this flavor text even hotter.

[bringbackmaes14]

Genderfluid person and would be fine with it. My stepmom is the person who helped me be okay with it.

My stepmom got diagnosed with breast cancer in 2016. Back in 2016 I still identified as a woman and I was very attached to my long hair (it was probably down to my butt at that point). Well of course when my stepmom started chemo her hair started falling out, and I saw how upset she was about it. She got to the point where she asked my dad to shave her head for her, not all the way bald, mind you, more into a crew cut style just so all the hair that was falling out wasn't super long big clumps.

And my dad is. Well. I don't know why my stepmom is still married to him and I don't know why he's not in prison for events of my childhood let's just describe his personality that way.

So he's buzzing her head and he tells her he has a surprise for her. And my younger sister and I watch in horror as my father proceeds to change the head of the razor for a closer cut and shave a horseshoe into the top of my stepmom's head (she's an Indianapolis Colts fan). She was mortified when we started yelling and telling him to stop and she realized what he was doing but the damage was already done. He tried to laugh it off and say her hair was gonna fall out anyway so what did it matter if they did silly things with it. Then when that bothered her more he tried to shave the horseshoe into a heart and tell her he loved her but then of course she had an even larger bald spot on her head, and at that point, through tears, she just told my dad to shave her head completely.

So as much as my stepmom tried to make becoming bald her decision (because it was inevitable because of the chemo), that little bit of control she had over it was taken by my dad, and I remember how much that hurt her. I remember my stepmom trying out different wigs and bandanas and hats. She'd wear them whenever she left the house. In the early days, she's even put on a hoodie or hat just to go get the mail from the mailbox. She was embarrassed of her baldness (she told me that, wanna make that clear, I'm not just assuming her feelings). She even wore them around me and my siblings for the first week or two after my dad shaved her head.

I always felt really bad because I thought my stepmom was pretty before her head was shaved, and while I definitely wasn't used to seeing her bald or with a wig, I didn't think it made her look bad either. Honestly nowadays it's weird to imagine my stepmom with hair because she's been bald for so many years now lol.

But I remember one night after dinner that kinda changed things. My dad and stepmom's house was open concept, so you could look out over the kitchen island right into the dining room and on the back dining room wall were these huge windows that looked out on the back deck.

My stepmom was standing at the kitchen sink, at that island, washing the dishes and I'm clearing the table. We're having a conversation about something or other, I don't really remember what, but what I do remember is getting cut off suddenly because my stepmom looks up from the sink towards where I'm standing in the dining room during the conversation and very suddenly gets startled, gasps, and then doubles over laughing. She was cackling in a way where I couldn't help but laugh myself even though I didn't know what was so funny.

I asked her what was so funny, and when she was finally able to catch her breath she told me that she thought she saw some random weird old guy standing on the porch but it was just her reflection in the window and it was so ridiculous that she couldn't help but laugh.

It was kind of from that point on that my stepmom became a lot more comfortable with her baldness. I gained a lot of respect for her in that moment and a lot of clarity about my own life. I think that was the first time in my life that someone had shown me it was okay to laugh about your own illness/disability. I'd had other people, even family members and people I thought were friends, laugh at my disabilities. And my mom (who primarily had custody of me and my siblings) kinda always freaked out about any self-depricating humor or humor that otherwise played up our disabilities so they weren't jokes I grew up feeling comfortable making (for fear of setting off my mom, not because I personally wasn't comfortable). But it was my stepmom who showed me there are ways to be silly and stupid about my disabilities and to laugh them off and not be so serious about them so they don't have to drown me every moment of the day, even when the physical aspects meet me every time I look in the mirror.

And like I said, it's hard to imagine my stepmom not being bald now. And because of her I don't think I'd be too worried about it because I think even if I didn't like it at first I could learn to laugh about it.

(I actually came pretty close to shaving my head last year. I keep the sides/back of my head shaved with it longer on top, and I officially decided to do that because of my shoulder injury and how much trouble I was having brushing my hair and keeping it out of my face on windy days on campus, but I almost considered getting a fully shave. I've just kept the style I got for ease because I ended up also liking it for gender reasons!)

We ask your questions anonymously so you don’t have to! Submissions are open on the 1st and 15th of the month.

[ashblooddragons]

La Danse Macabre (Chapter 4/?)

Series Masterlist

121 ac

Dragonstone

Valaenas pov

I feel the ship rock back and forth as we get closer and closer to the island Mama says we used to live in. It's big and scary, but Mama looks so happy when she looks at it I force a smile for her. 

I look down at my egg, it's pure black so dark I swear it swallows up light. But it will never hatch, it turned to stone and Mama and Papa say that means it's a bad egg. 

I don't know why Mama and Papa would give me a bad egg when Jace and Lucs were perfect and hatch little Vermax and Arrax. Is it because their boys? Because they look like Harwin? Mama does look at him in a way that is so different to Papa. Like she can't look away, or that she doesn't want 

I feel a hand ruffle my hair and look up to see Papa. “Excited to pick a new egg?” He asks with one of his funny grins. 

I don't respond, only looking down at my egg again. 

“I know you wanted it to hatch, I'm sorry it didn't. But your Mother's didn't, nor did your grandma's.” 

I know he is trying to make me feel better, but it doesn't. We're coming to this island so I can pick a new egg, it makes me worried this one will be and too.

“Why did you and Mama give me a bad egg? You gave Jace and Luc good ones.” I ask, eyeing the little dragons following my brother's. 

He sighs looking down at his feet, I noticed he does this when he's thinking though I don't know what his shoes would do to help him. 

“When me and your Mother picked your egg, I had my doubts. It was so dark to your sweet little self. But she swore it would hatch. Maybe it didn't because it wasn't made for you, maybe there is another dragon just waiting to hatch and held by you.” 

I take his words in before looking at the egg. It's not me, we were just never meant to be friends. I think before hugging Papa with all my strength.

“It wasn't me.” I say as he strokes my hair. 

“No, any dragon would be lucky to have you as their rider, my darling girl.” He says before kissing my brow and standing up. “Now we're about to dock, why don't you get all the toys you need?” He suggests pointing to my pile of toys.

I try to pick which ones I absolutely need so in the end I'm carrying my Seasmoke plush and Little Val while Papa carries Saera, Mary, and my plush Syrax off the ship. 

“Stay with Magnolia boys, me and your Father will be busy.” Mama says to Jace and Luc before handing them to one of her maids. 

“Now let's go to the Dragonpit, they should have all the eggs down there.” Mama says with a tight lipped smile as she has another one of her maids take my toys. 

What was the point in bringing them down if I can't play with them? I think as Papa picks me up and starts walking towards a dark cave. I don't like the noises that escape from it, they don't sound friendly. Nothing like Seasmoke or Syrax when they see me. 

“Sorry love, I thought we would be able to explore the castle before this but it seems your Mother is on a mission.” Papa whispers to me before following after Mama and the Dragonkeepers. 

When we enter it's a large room that smells stinky. Like burnt flesh and rotten eggs. 

Not a good combo. 

But what catches my attention is the large table in the middle of the room with all sorts of eggs. Lots are black like my bad one, some are green, a few are blue, and then there are a handful of random colors. Like red, brown, orange, and yellow. But none holds my attention more than the other. 

“Are these all of them? I thought you said Silverwing and some wild dragons had laid more than this.” Mama asks, looking at each one whispering to herself. 

“There was, your Grace, but sadly some turned to stone and some were too dangerous to recover.” An old man says from his place beside Mama.

“Let me guess, the Unbonded?” She asks in a tone that implies there is an inside joke. 

He only nods before turning to look at me. He waves me and Papa forward and before I can tell Papa I don't want to be closer to the dark tunnel he moves closer. 

“Alright, my love, why don't you start by telling us which you don't want.” Mama suggests taking me out of Papa's arms and sitting me on the table. 

I'm never allowed to sit on the table. This place must be special. I think looking at each one. 

“Not black, those are the ones that go bad.” I say with a nod. 

The old man moves forward and I see he's about to speak when Papa interrupts him. 

“Fair enough, your first egg was black and now it's stone, perhaps a different color.” 

I agree with Papa but when I turn to look at him I notice the glare he gives the old man. 

Why is Papa upset, the man was only going to talk? I think before Mama tells me to look at the eggs again. 

“Not yellow, I want Syrax to feel special.” I say pointing at the two yellow eggs. One is lighter with a grey shimmer and the other is darker like gold without the shimmer, instead it has a brown shimmer that Mama says looks like copper. 

“How sweet darling, I'm sure Syrax will thank you.” Mama says as she runs her hands through my curls. 

We stay there for a bit with me slowly removing eggs from the table. I feel bad as I do it, I want them to have friends but Mama says I should pick the perfect one. 

But for some reason I feel like the dragon that's supposed to be my friend isn't in this room, it's outside somewhere on this island. 

We only stop when my stomach growls so loud Mama and Papa can't help but laugh. 

“Sorry, I'm hungry.” I say as I touch my tummy that keeps rumbling.

“Tis alright, my love, we have dwindled it down quite a bit. There was thirty here and now there are fifteen. We got rid of more than half.” Mama says picking me up and setting me on my own feet again. 

I wiggle my legs when I feel them buzz like one of Helaena's bugs in a jar. It isn't a good feeling each step I take feels like I'm stepping on a pile of needles but I know the best way to get rid of this feeling is walking. 

Such an odd way of fixing the pain, by adding more pain. 

“How about a picnic? You could collect seashells after you eat.” Mama suggests. 

I do like collecting seashells. I think before nodding my head excitedly. 

I make sure Mary, Little Val, and Saera all are sitting properly before I start to fill my plate. 

I get bread, cold meats, and cheese. But Mama stops me from sitting back down and holds out an apple. 

“Your Father can cut it, but you need a fruit or vegetable.” She says as she hands it to Papa who quickly gets his dagger and slices piece after piece until the core is left. 

“Do you want lemon on your apple?” Papa asks as he slices one into four pieces and squeezes one over his grapes. 

“Will it be good?” I ask curiously. I've never thought about using lemon on my fruit, it's sour and apples are so sweet. It just doesn't make sense.

“Here, we'll drop a little on one slice and then you try it. If you like it we'll do the rest, if you don't then it's only one apple slice.” 

I think about his solution before nodding, holding one out waiting for him to squeeze the lemon. 

“Alright take a bite.” He says watching as I take a bite of the crisp apple. 

The apple is soft yet firm, giving a satisfying crunch when I bite into it. The sweetness is what I taste first and then the tangy sour. It blends perfectly, it gives a fresh taste to the sweet watery flavor of the apple. 

I quickly hold out my plate waiting for him to squeeze more on to the rest. 

“I assume you liked it?” He teases gently squeezing lemon juice onto the rest of the apple slices. 

“Why is it so good? It shouldn't be! Sour and sweet doesn't make sense!” I exclaim taking bite after bite, hardly breathing before I take another. 

“Slow down, I don't want you choking.” He says resting his hand over mine just as I go to bite my last slice. “And I don't know, sweetling, but this is how my Father ate them.” 

The rest of the picnic goes by quickly, we'll if it weren't for Luc who keeps asking what everything is. He was always a curious babe, but now that he knows how to talk he just. Won't. Stop. 

He needs to know what each cheese is called and why, what each piece of meat is called and what animal it came from, how you make bread and why it can be fluffy or hard. He wants to know why some clouds are thin and some are like pillows. 

I want to know the answer to these questions too, but from the way Mama rubs her head with a frown and Papa keeps sighing, I know now isn't the time to join Luc on all the questions of the world. 

“All done!” I exclaim as I set my now empty plate on the blanket before standing up. 

“Oh, well your brother's aren't quite done, Darling. Why don't you find some seashells or seaglass?” Mama says as she grabs Jace's arm before he runs into the cold water. No doubt Luc would be right behind him. 

“Yes I think that's a lovely idea. Your brother's are being quite a handful. I think they are about ready for their midday nap.” Papa says stopping Luc from throwing bread into the ocean so he can ‘feed the hungry fishys’.

I nod, turning around and walking away looking for any sheets or seaglass. I often find that Mama and Papa say stuff like that a lot. Especially Mama. 

Sorry Darling, Jace and Luc are too rowdy right now, maybe later. 

Oh I would love to but Jace and Luc wouldn't know what to do and get into everything.

Honey, why don't you play with Aemond and Helaena? Jace is having a tantrum. 

Why don't you find me pretty flowers while I calm down Luc? 

I'll see you soon, after this voyage. And when I come home you and I will play alright?

But they are all lies. Papa never plays for long because he is needed for another voyage or a small council meeting. And Mama…well Mama never has time for me it seems. She is always worried about Jace and Luc. But I understand they can be crazy at times, at least I have Aemond to play with…well at least at home. 

I wish Aemond was here. I think wiping a tear that streams down my face out of nowhere. Why do tears come when you don't know why you're sad? 

I pick up a pretty blue shell that goes into a spiral. When I shake it I hear something shake. 

What is in this? I think looking inside for anything only to find sand.

Weird. I think before dropping the shell in the leather pouch Papa gave me as one of my nameday gifts. 

I continue to look for any good shells I think Helaena might like when my mind drifts to the eggs. 

None felt…right. Maybe Dreamfyre laid more and one of those will be my friend. But what about Aemond? I think remembering how sad he was when he found his egg had turned to stone too. 

I then remember one egg I think he might like. It's green with brown shimmer all over it. He always loved Vhagar saying she was the greatest dragon in the conquest. That one looked the most similar to the paintings of her. 

I'll make sure it is brought home for him with my egg. I decide when another shake comes but this time I'm not holding any eggs and the sand even shifted. 

I look around confused why this would happen when I see a big cave. Big enough for Vhagar to fit or at least from what the paintings show. 

I hear people yelling but no matter how badly I want to turn and see who is and why I can't. This cave holds my attention for some reason. Like something is calling for me. 

Another shake comes and I feel my heart about beats out of my chest when I see why the ground is shaking. 

A huge white dragon starts walking out of the cave. It seems like it's around the size of Vermithor, maybe bigger, but not as big as Vhagar. Its wings membrane is light pink, almost white. All of it is white, but it's eyes. They are blue like the ocean; they even seem to make waves as they move.

The yelling comes closer but I can't take my eyes off the dragon in front of me. Something in my chest vibrates when I look at it, and even though it turns its head to growl at whoever is coming it doesn't take its eyes off me either. 

I finally build up the courage to speak when it starts to lean its head down to sniff me.

“Do you want to be friends? My egg turned to stone, maybe I could take one of yours so I could have a dragon friend?” I ask as I hold my hand out for the dragon to smell.

“VALAENA!” I hear and I reluctantly look away from the dragon to find Mama and Papa running towards me. Mama is crying big big tears. And Papa, why does he seem scared? Papa is never scared, he's big and strong, a great knight who can fight anyone or anything. 

It is only now that I realize how far I went, I can barely see where we were eating and that's only because of the two people holding Jace and Luc who seem very scared. 

But my attention is quickly brought back to the dragon as it growls towards Mama and Papa before laying on the ground with its head at my feet. 

I try to figure out what this means, what the dragon wants me to do. So I decide to do just that. 

“Do you want me to give you my seashells?” I ask which doesn't give any response other than a blink of its eyes but that could be because of the bird that flew by. 

“Do you want food from our picnic?” I ask which seems to annoy the dragon as it buffs pushing its head close to me so I can feel the warmth of its scales. Though it's still not touching me. 

And that's when it hits me what it wants. “Do you want me to pet you?” I ask which gives me something that sounds like one of the happy rumbles Seasmoke makes when Papa comes to see him. 

“VALAENA COME HERE NOW!” I hear Mama demand as she and Papa continue to run towards me.

I know it's naughty not to listen to Mama, but for some reason I need to pet this dragon. I can't explain why but the longer I don't the more my chest hurts. So I decide to rest my hand on its huge snout.

I can't help but giggle at how big it's nose is compared to my hand, but also the feel of its scales. They are soft like one of Mama's shiny dresses she says are made of silk. They are all white not any other color in sight. Even the shimmer of its scales seems white. 

“Are we friends now? Are you my dragon friend? Like Mama with Syrax and Papa with Seasmoke?” I ask and it does that happy rumble again. “I'll take that as a yes.” I say before jumping when I hear Papa yell next.

“VALAENA VELARYON GET OVER HERE NOW!” 

He doesn't seem happy, and he doesn't look it either. I slowly walk over to them, hanging my head. I knew it was naughty not to listen but I just couldn't leave the dragon, it felt like home, it felt safe, it felt like freedom. 

Once I'm about halfway to them Mama runs forward picking me up and holding me so close my rubs pinch and it's hard to breathe. But I don't tell her this, because she starts crying, and not the sad kind, the kind where your whole body shakes. She even falls to her knees as she kisses me all over as big tears roll down her face. 

I've never seen Mama like this. I think as I hug her back hoping that it'll help her be happy again. 

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.” I say over and over again hoping she will stop crying, I don't like seeing her sad.

I then feel someone hug me from behind and turn to see Papa crying too. I've never seen him cry ever. I don't know what to do. I know what I did was naughty but dragons are nice, it wouldn't have hurt me. 

I start saying I'm sorry louder and faster as I try and hug them both. I just want them to stop crying, why won't they stop? 

Mama then finally leans back wiping her tears even though more fall, but these ones are smaller and slower. 

“Look at me Valaena, don't ever scare me or your Father like that again. We thought we lost you for good, you are very very lucky. Do you hear me!” She demands and all I can do is nod my head as tears start rolling down my cheeks too. 

She pulls me in for a bone crushing hug again before standing up and carrying me back to where we had our picnic. 

She says something to her maids before following them towards the keep. I hear whispers as we pass by some of the Dragonkeepers. They all look at me with mixes of fear and astonishment. 

I don't know why but what I do know is this. 

When I put my hand on that dragon's snout, I felt alive. I felt whole. And there is no way I'm letting that feeling be taken from me. And from the way the dragon stares after me it won't either. 

I lay in bed listening to Mama and Papa talk, they hadn't let me out of their sight since I made my dragon friend. They keep calling it the ‘Unbonded’ but I know I don't like that name. 

From what I gathered it's not a it, it's a she, a girl dragon. Mama says they found lots of eggs in the cave because the dragon is now sleeping in front of the castle, or as close as it can get. 

“The Unbonded Laenor! The bloody Unbonded. Our little girl claimed a beast that rejected its rider in the cradle. Our little girl claimed a beast that has killed more Targaryen and Velaryon than evem even fucking Cannibal. It has rejected every potential rider and then it just…chose her?” Mama says as she taps her fingers on the table. 

At least that's what I assume the tick tick tick noise is.

“I know Rhaenyra, I know the bloody dragons history. I know our little girl almost because ash in the wind and there would've been nothing we could've done to stop it. All because of what? Jace and Luc being rowdy? Gods we almost lost our daughter because we couldn't couldn't fucking patient!” Papa says as he paces the living area of our apartment. 

It goes silent for a hit before Mama sighs standing up and walking towards Papa, or I think so because he suddenly stopped. 

“Let's stop thinking about what could've happened, and instead think about what did. Our little girl did something no one else has, and she did it so calmly. I don't even think she realized she was in danger. I guess we have Syrax and Seasmoke for that.” Mama says and then they both start laughing. 

As they continue to talk I decide on a better name than the unbonded. 

She's beautiful, really beautiful. What does Papa call me when I look beautiful? Gevives? Yeah that'll be her name. 

Also if you want to know what Unbonded looks like, or now Gevives this is the inspo. As you can see there is a reason they said shes around the size of Vermithor and Vhagar, also keep in mind Laena lives in this so she claimed another dragon (Sheapsteeler) so Aemond will lose his eye and claim Vhagar another way.

one more thing, if you want to know more about the Unbonded I recommend checking my WIld Dragon post. I'm planning on adding more such as Brightfyre (Shout out to all my Tides of Love readers) and a couple others I'm working up.

Special thanks to my bestie @sugutoad for making the header for this fic! I swear I'd be lost without you girly!

I would also like to thank @zaldritzosrose for making the divider for this fic! I love it even though I know it is Baela inspired lol.

TAGLIST: @sugutoad @ilikefelines @classicsimpforaaronwarner @sachaa-ff @mmogurl @themoonlitquill @thelastemzy @athzhowakar

[my-thoughts-and-junk]

the thing about chilshi is that i see it as super one-sided on chilchuck's part and that's some shit he's bringing to the grave with him

[termagax]

re: "good girl" i think they say it once randomly as a joke and its just one of those things that gets him wayyy more than they expected it would. so now its their secret weapon and they use it very sparingly and every single time he gets super embarrassed about it but it works ill tell you what.

[jessicas-pi]

The Shuttle AU where Nigel Anstruthers is even more devious and DOESN'T separate Rosalie from her family, and he pretends to be nice and good and even invites Bettina to spend her school holidays at Stornham Court one year.

(That last one was not his best idea, tbh.)

Through chance, circumstance, or maybe the weaving hand of Fate, Bettina Vanderpoel and James Hubert John Fergus Saltyre meet, speak, and quickly discover their mutual distaste for Sir Nigel Anstruthers...

Anyway I call this one Jem and Bett Ruin Nigel's Life (Ten Years Ahead of Schedule)

[keyunto]

just for the silly

[front-facing-pokemon]

[mqonlighting]

real talk in the tags for a second because i have a crush on a girl and i. a hehe. ahehehe.

will be burying this in reblogs and never touching on it again

[kokoinupi]

i watched the 2007 rgg movie tonight just to see what its like and i have a lot to say about it but for now i just doodled my favorite scene bc i could not handle it

[tariah23]

They’re calling my baby Gojo, Joseph Joestar now

[peapod20001]

I am the nail growth self saboteur!!

[slimyenemy]

yeah and like i even care about all that i just had a loml crush on them and wanted to be friends with them online

[icewindandboringhorror]

golf

[fleshengine]

k I've seen a couple posts about it today but it is so funny to me how the "break up with a trans woman and unperson her" and "unperson any trans woman who's minorly annoying" so perfectly map onto my own recent experiences. My friend (transfem enby) broke up with their boyfriend (transmasc) and he immediately turned our entire friendgroup against them. The three other people immediately, and I mean immediately, like within a day, put them on their shitlist. He convinced them to hate them so fucking easily. He said he feared for his safety and that they'd almost hit him, and that they were a sociopath and all this shit. I learned about this late (because no one talks to me) and my first thought was "has anyone talked to them about this?" Because it didn't seem like them, the friend I knew was extraordinarily kind and understanding and loving and quiet. They'd never do that shit. Guess what?!?! None of my friends had talked to them and it had been two days of icing them out and telling them to leave. So I talked to them, got their side of the story, and spent days convincing the rest of my friendgroup to talk to them. Well, after talking to them literally everyone came around and now we're back to normal, minus the asshole who tried to get us to hate them. During all this, while he was going around spreading rumors about my friend, I texted him and asked him to stop. I tried to be understanding and meet him where he was at while holding fast to the "please stop telling random people my friend is a sociopath." I knew he was doing it too, because he apparently randomly started talking to MY ROOMMATES about my friend. Well lo and behold literally the next day my roommates were chilling in my living room and told me "Oh yeah ____ is going around calling you a gaslighter btw." Which was hilarious to me?!?! I guess he thought they wouldn't tell me? Like he was unironically trying to turn the people I live with against me. If I hadn't done anything, my friend would have been completely ditched by my friendgroup. They would have no one at their back going into their senior year.

Anyway moral of the story is love every transfem before it's too late and maybe check with people who are having rumors spread about them? Maybe that "violent sociopath" is stressed out from classes and made some bad decisions. Maybe that "manipulative gaslighter" is genuinely just trying to look out for her friend.

[chelseeebe]

just a taste

18+. mdni. smut. kinda perv!eddie x fem!reader. he is a lil freaky in this i'll admit.

a/n: i just love the idea of the citrus six all living together lol idk i think it’s so nice also i have never watched cheers i just googled 1991 american tv shows and picked one at random LMAO ++ for the movie, i thought it’d be a nice lil easter egg for them to watch something with winona in:,)

✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

eddie doesn’t know who you are or why you’re coming to visit or why exactly it was him that was being made to vacate his room for the two weeks that you were here. 

“c’mon eddie,” robin pleads, nay, demands, “you sleep on the couch most nights anyway, what’s the difference?” 

“uh, maybe because it’s my room? i don’t want some random girl in there touching my stuff,” almost flabbergasted that she’s even asking. 

“she’s not a random girl,” robin frowns, “she’s my friend and she needs somewhere to stay.” 

“tell her there’s a great hotel in town,” rolling his eyes, trying to leave the conversation before she breaks out the puppy dog eyes. "i'll even give her a ride if you ask nicely," no longer interested in entertaining this conversation.

“i’ll give you fifty bucks,” robin deadpans, using her last resort.

this was bribery of the highest order but eddie's not stupid. fifty bucks is fifty bucks.

“now?” 

she sighs, sliding her wallet from her pocket to reluctantly hand over the bill. she stops just before it touches his palm, “promise you’ll clean your room.” 

eddie goes to grab the paper but robin’s faster, jolting her hand into the air, “and change your sheets.” 

“okay,” he huffs, holding his palm outstretched. 

she graciously places the note down, smiling wickedly as she does so before skipping off back to her own room. 

he can only roll his eyes, turning around to the shit hole that was his room, wondering if fifty dollars was worth having to tackle it. 

-

eddie’s sat on the couch when you arrive, barely looking back as robin begins to fuss, talking loudly about your journey. he doesn’t really care enough to involve himself, besides, elvis presley had just given sam a very important message. 

“eddie,” robin hisses, standing in front of the screen, “don’t be rude, say hello,” her hands firmly on her hips like she was his mother or something. 

he looks up at the looming figure by the couch, hoping his eyes hadn’t given his immediate shock away too much. 

you flash him a sheepish smile back, waggling your fingers in a short wave. 

two weeks on the couch didn’t seem so bad now. 

not if you were sleeping in his bed. 

it’s just a shame that he wouldn’t be in there sharing it. 

“hey,” he stands, hoping to indiscreetly catch his breath, “i’m- uh, i’m eddie,” offering his hand out, though he regrets it as soon as it’s done. 

who shakes hands now? christ. he needed to get a grip, and badly. 

“hey,” you reply, your name dripping from your tongue. though you do shake his hand, not bothering to hide your confusion in the process. 

“eddie very kindly said you could have his room,” a bright, big sarcastic smile on her lips. 

“yeah.. no biggie..” christ, he’s almost panting. “do whatever you want in there.. or you know, just- just make yourself at home.” 

his desperate pleas for the earth to split open and swallow him whole go unanswered. instead, robin shoots him a concerned glare before ushering you away from his weird, longing gaze. 

'pull it together loser' she mouths before disappearing, leaving him to reflect upon how utterly hard he had just fumbled that entire situation. 

-

when everyone’s home from work and you’ve exchanged niceties and greetings with the rest of the house, robin brightly suggests a movie. 

eddie usually hated movie nights in the house. 

jonathan would want to watch some indie cult classic that no one else had ever heard of, steve wanted to watch some dumb comedy that only he’d find funny and then nancy and robin typically opted for the romance genre. 

leaving eddie and argyle with absolutely no choice but to sit in silence as they bickered. 

tonight it’s different, you get to pick. 

and now he’s not saying that whatever you choose will forever change the way he views you but.. well, that’s actually exactly it. 

you land on edward scissorhands. 

not the worst choice you could’ve made, and hey, his mom used to call him edward when he was in real bad trouble. 

in the end, it doesn’t really matter what you had picked because eddie can’t muster up enough energy to actually care about the film. not while your thighs are peeking out from underneath your oversized shirt. he can’t help but wonder what they’d feel like wrapped around his ears. what previous sounds would fall out of your mouth in response.

at some point during the movie, you stand up and walk out of the room to the kitchen but that doesn’t stop him. staring through the open door, marvelling at the way the hem of your shirt lifts, exposing the tiny shorts you had on underneath. 

he’s practically hanging over the back of the couch to get a look, craning his neck at a ninety degree angle just to get a glimpse of your soft, pillowy skin. pinching himself as he tries to resist the urge to just sink his teeth into your inner thigh.

robin jabs her elbow into his ribcage, drawing his eyes back to the room with a grunt and a harsh glare thrown her way. 

“you’ve been staring at her all night,” she whispers angrily into his ear, “stop it, or next time it’s your balls,” a harsh warning he didn’t find entirely necessary. 

you sidle back into the room, drink in hand and eddie can’t help but let his eyes wander over again, short glances that robin hopefully wouldn’t pick up on. 

he can’t help it, some magnetic force swaying his gaze in your direction. he wishes so badly that he could just crawl out of his head and tell you how much he wanted you. 

unfortunately for eddie, he’d instead spend the night dreaming of your ass and all the ways he could have you if he’d only grow a backbone. 

-

living alongside you is an entirely new feat eddie’s not sure he’ll survive. 

it’s torturous. 

testing the limits of how ridiculously horny one man can get without self-imploding. 

so close and yet so far. each night you’d tuck yourself into his bed, doing god knows what in between his sheets all without eddie getting a look in.

of course he’d made up a hundred different scenarios to fall asleep to each night. 

his favourite being the one where he walks into his bedroom to find you mouth open, legs apart, too encapsulated in your pleasure to notice him. only until you do, inviting him closer, between those supple thighs of yours, a forbidden nirvana he’ll never get to know. 

though more often than not he’s cruelly forced back into reality by robin ripping the curtains open at the ass crack of dawn, blaring sunlight on his face as you slip away from the grapples of his dream land. 

now is his opportunity, the house quiet, bar the muffled giggles of you and robin upstairs. he’s safe for now, he thinks, rather foolishly. it’s late, the rest of them asleep or too busy in their own rooms to catch him in the act. 

eddie’s never done anything like this before. it’s disgusting, perverted to the core. 

good grief, this is prosecutable behaviour. 

tiptoeing down the hall to his room, the door open just a crack, enticing him in further. he can still hear you on the floor above, giving him enough confidence to push it open a little more, edging inside with a quick glance back down the hall, just in case. 

gratefully it seemed that you were just as messy as he was, your clothes strewn across the floor. his eyes immediately turning to the peeking of lace from under the pile. glancing one last time at the cracked door, ensuring that absolutely nobody would see him. 

reaching down to gather the fabric in one quick swoop, bunching them in his palm as he lets out a quick sigh of relief. 

oh fuck. they were so soft, fingers spreading to really get a feel. he wasn't even going to take them, he'd just wanted a little look, something to help his overactive imagination get all the important details right.

“what are you doing?” startling him in this precarious position, the lace of your underwear entangled around his fingertips. 

eddie freezes, he can feel the heat rising through his chest, all the way up to the tips of his ears. scarlet red. 

“uh.. i..i-i don’t know..” he hasn’t done anything like this before, he swears. 

your mouth is open in a sort of half-smirk, half-perplexed gawp, closing the door before he could bolt. 

you move around the mess, creeping closer until he can feel you brushing against his side, peering over into his hand. 

“oh wow..” you remark, breath hot and sweet against his cheek, “what were you gonna do with those?” 

eddie feels sick, trying not to projectile vomit across his room. there’s no way you wouldn’t tell robin. fuck. he could hear you now, voice full of disgust, robin laughing at how pathetic he was. 

“n-nothing i swear..” stumbling through his sentence, “i was just..” excuses fail to come to mind, “i was uhm.. looking for something,” the absolute best his flustered mind to muster up. 

“oh really?” reaching around to untangle them from his hand, “you sure about that?” 

there’s no anger to your voice, but he doesn’t dare turn around to look at your face. afraid of what he’ll find. your eyes pitying, sad that he has to root around your dirty laundry to get off. 

“i’m- i’m sure,” though the crack in his voice gives him away. 

you hum, coming around to stand in front of his gormless face, “so you don’t wanna keep these?” holding the evidence up to his face, the hem just barely grazing his cheek. 

eddie’s knees almost buckle, his breath shuddering as any semblance of composure he had left, floats right out the window. 

“here,” reaching forward to tuck the baby blue fabric into the waistband of his sweatpants, your eyes never once leaving his as you do so. “you keep those.. but next time just ask, okay?” 

he nods like an obedient dog, lapping up the scraps you were throwing him. he could stand here all night long, keeping up the weird little power game you’d started. 

“goodnight eddie,” you smile, giving him a gentle nudge, a sign for him to get the fuck out. 

you were the master, he was just the lap dog, eager to please. 

-

at breakfast the next morning, he struggles to even keep his eyes open. having spent an embarrassingly long amount of time on the couch last night shamelessly sniffing the lace you’d gifted him. 

you don’t even acknowledge it, or him for that matter. happily chatting along with nancy about some news article. 

“oh and eddie,” robin begins, flashing him a stern look, “i don’t appreciate finding your fucking panties in between the couch cushions,” 

he chokes on his mouthful, his knife clattering against the table in shock. a multitude of eyes turn to stare at the spectacle he was making. 

“they’re- they’re not mine,” clearing his throat as he clears his name, though he doesn’t dare look in your direction, terrified that he’d absolutely lose his mind if he did. 

“well whoever’s they are, i don’t care, stop leaving them on the couch.. i’m sure our guest doesn’t want to sit amongst dirty underwear,” she bites, calming down now she had gotten her point across. 

if only she knew. 

eddie must’ve fallen asleep with them still attached to his hand, thanking his lucky stars that no one had walked in on him with them pressed to his nose.  

he keeps his head low, focusing on the plate in front of him. nothing had ever been as mortifying as this. not even the time he had slipped off the dinner table in the middle of the cafeteria. 

cutlery scrapes and clinks against the china, uncomfortable silence until argyle clears his throat, “gnarly meal robin, thanks dude,” seemingly settling the tense atmosphere, for now. 

everybody hums in agreement, getting back to their food without another word. but your eyes peek up, meeting his with an indescribable glint. and really, the worst part is that eddie would sit through this horrific situation a hundred more times, just for one more measly sniff at your panties. 

-

eddie can’t take it anymore. 

he’s never been so pent up in his entire life. and he’s tried to hold on until he could move back into his room but he couldn’t last any longer. 

but he’s careful, waiting for everyone to trundle on off to bed, listening carefully for the muted click of the light switch and even then, waiting another hour to be sure. 

the clock glares an alarming 1:04 by the time his belt clinks and his jeans come down, the first of them would be awake in just a few hours, ready to take you on to the airport. 

he wishes it would’ve played out differently, that he wouldn’t be sat here on the last night of your stay alone. but alas, eddie’s never been particularly brave and especially not in regards to hot women. 

your panties wrapped around his right hand as he spits on his left, wrapping around his stiff cock while his fingertips play with the lace in his other hand. 

“ohh fuck,” he hisses, wanting nothing more than to start hollering the house down. 

robin wouldn’t be too pleased if she ever found out what he’d done. and he can’t really afford to get the entire couch dry-cleaned so he really must be careful. 

thinking quick, he shoves his t-shirt into his mouth, muffling the chorus of grunts and groans threatening to spill over into the dark room. the muted light from the tv illuminates his face, breathing loudly through his nose 

he hadn’t heard the door open or the soft sound of your feet padding down the hall, only made aware of your presence when he reopens his eyes, near enough jumping out of his bones. 

how long had you been there watching him shudder and whine?

“fuck,” he exclaims, fist still wrapped tight around his throbbing cock, too aroused to care about it too much. 

“you want some help with that?” 

eddie looks at his dick, then back at you, mouth hung open in a mixture of awe and confusion. 

it’s not very clear but you move closer anyway, sinking to your knees and nestling in between his spread legs. 

“okay?” maintaining eye contact despite how difficult it was, eyes bright and eager. 

he nods, unable to comprehend what was happening. knowing he’d wake up from this twisted dream to some soggy boxers and a whole lotta shame. 

your palm wraps around the base of his cock, shooing his hands away to make room, smiling as your lips wrap around the already leaking tip. were you a psychopath? were you placed on this earth to goad and tease him?

this isn’t real. this isn’t real. the voice repeats around his head though it’s quickly silenced by your tongue swirling circles around the tip of his cock, readjusting his t-shirt to bite down harshly on the fabric. 

eddie’s hands lay useless on his thighs, twitching to intertwine with your hair, still doubting the reality of the situation. this could all be a dream and the second he touches your hair, you’d disappear from in front of his eyes.

the t-shirt falls from his lips, “fuuck,” grunting into the tense air, gritting his teeth so as to not expose your precarious position to the rest of the house. 

the wet sounds of your lips wrapped tight around his cock make his toes curl, his hands find your hair, not without prompting from you. tugging gently at the tendrils as his head starts to spin. 

when your eyes look up to meet his, eddie thinks he might just cum right down your throat then and there. he can see that troublesome glint in your eye, a roaring fire that he so desperately wants to keep stoking. 

your fingers slide up his thigh, finding his neglected balls and with a slight smirk, you grab ahold, gently fondling them as his brain melts out of his ears. 

no one had ever, ever made him feel so good. collectively losing brain cells when you hum on his cock, getting just as much out of this as he was. 

“oh yeah, fuck- shit fuck, i’mcummingi’mcummingi’mcumming,” eddie’s mouth rushes, louder than he ever should’ve been. bright flashes of light fill his peripheral, using your scalp as leverage to keep himself on the couch. 

his hips stutter, thrusting into your mouth with his fingers tight in your hair, yanking harshly in an effort to get your lips off of him before he came everywhere. 

you don’t budge, nails digging into his thigh as his release seeps down your throat, his eyes squeezing shut as his fist instinctively comes up to muffle his mouth, moaning into his clammy palm instead of alerting the entire house. 

eddie’s other hand lets go of his strong hold on your hair, allowing you to get off of his dick, panting happily as you sit up between his knees and with lips glistening with his release, you kiss him. all soft and gentle while his brain fails to compute. 

it should be gross. but eddie just can’t find it in himself to care, because in reality, this was the hottest thing that had ever happened in his measly little life. 

“please let me taste you,” he begs between kisses, grasping desperately at your waist, the fabric of your shirt slipping between his desperate fingers.

you giggle, pulling back to look at him through the dimmed light, “not now,” you hover just above, constantly teasing and unobtainable

“well when?" jutting his bottom lip out in hopes it'd convince you to change your mind.

"when i'm back," letting him down gently. eddie'd count the seconds till you came back if that was what it took to get even a tiny glimpse of your pussy.

“what time do you leave?” he pants, chasing your lips. eddie was nothing if not a chancer, though if it hadn't happened already, there's a miniscule chance of it happening now.

“seven,” whispering back, a hint of annoyance that this build up had only crescendoed now, just as you were about to leave. he'll blame robin for that, poking her nose in and trying to turn him off. it shouldn't have worked. he should've been braver.

“but it’s your turn,” an awful sadness and regret overcoming him. someone better, someone like steve, would've had you pinned to that couch by now, his head between your thighs and your slick dripping down his chin.  

“next time,” only repeating yourself, smiling coyly before you plant one last kiss to his longing lips before standing fully upright and disappearing back off to his room, leaving him reeling with a story nobody else would ever believe.